#but I *never* let arin get away with treating me the way you did.
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cesium-sheep · 1 year ago
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I looked at it. still a lot of self-absolution, "did my best" shit. she wants to know how to "get back to a better place". I went to show arin and she took herself out into the weeds and then got frustrated to find that she was in the weeds. so that like. doesn't really help.
I texted back something about how it'll never fully go away but the best thing to do right now is let it heal over on its own.
also it occurred to me that an email newsletter fixes the kirblog problem. I'll have to give it a couple weeks to make it look unsuspicious.
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persphonesorchid · 2 years ago
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I HAVE SO MANY WORDS TO SAY, FIRST OF ALL NIKKI HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? THE WAY MY LOVE FOR THIS MAN GOT TRAPPED IN A BOX FOR THIS WHOLE READ. MC IS SO AJJSJDGA COULDN'T BE ME, Y'ALL STAY SAFE OUT THERE BECAUSE GOD FORBID I BE LIKE THIS.
warning, this is gonna get long lmaoo
First of all, I wanna talk about how toxic he is?? Like? He doesn't want her to date - doesn't want her to find her own happiness with other people because it's not him, says that he would "date" her but he himself is unable to actually give her what she's looking for. But to him it doesn't even matter about that, as long as he can keep her glued to his side in anyway he can he doesn't care.
Since you know, you aren't sure about Minho yet so there's still time to intercept if he wanted. For funsies. He's not one to think much about consequences at that given moment.
He makes me so mad, like. Tf?
"Nope." He sighs. "What have you been doing with Minho?"
WHY is that any of your business. Ugh he's like one of those sleazy guys that just ajdjjshs he's Def the type to tell a girlfriend's guy bestie to stay away from his girl becuase he's insecure and stupid. He's stupid. I hate this
What's worse is that you kiss him back, barely allowing him to pull away before you're chasing after him. Of course he likes that, it's where he wanted you all along.
Sobs
But, awkward for Minho to walk into. Very awkward. He catches the tail end of it, right as you pull away from Jisung and stare at him with those lovey dovey, love sick eyes. He expected it, and he knew Jisung would actually pull this shit. Still fucking sucks.
SOBBING INTENSIFIES (honestly girl, I don't blame ya, I'd kiss hanji too but....he's....you know????)
Especially when you nod your head, it's enough to give him leverage to lean in for another kiss. This time, it's deeper, and more heated than the last. More intense, full of all that curiosity and need— tongues are clashing, lips swollen, barely able to catch a breath. His hand travels down to your side, giving it a good squeeze to let you know that he absolutely loves kissing you.
Nooooooooooo 😭😭😭😭 pleaseeeeeeee
But, you're also realizing the more you give, the less he reciprocates. And it's quickly spiraling down into this never-ending black hole of questioning why Jisung only delivers the bare minimum; just enough to continue stringing you along.
That's cause HE'S the bare minimum 😭 he ain't good for you girl c'mon now.
"Better me than you."
I AGREE BINNIE TAKE ME W YOU 😭
"Truthfully, I didn't think it'd matter. It never used to matter."
GOD can this block head of a man thINK?! FOR ONCE?! NIKKI WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!
"Aye, wait. Y/N, please." He does a slight jog before gently grabbing your wrist. "Can we talk?" Minho locks eyes with him before turning to you.
No we can not you walking tumble weed 😭
"I'm really sorry. I miss you. Seriously, I miss having my bestfriend around and I'm sorry I fucked us up. You didn't deserve any of that, and I got too comfortable. I relied on you for everything and I got used to have you there.." He pauses. "I took awhile to come and talk to you because for a bit, I didn't know what to say or how to justify my actions. But, there's really no way to do that. I shouldn't have acted that way with you, and I should've taken better care of you. I'm not asking for you to forgive me and trust me the way you did before. But I just want you to know how sorry I am. You mean too much for me to just let this shit go."
He doesn't get to do this?? Honestly, like ain't no way. This is manipulation, and I demand retribution!! (Shit reminds me of a certain hermit crab farm cult leader Nikki)
Not when he finally takes Arine into his room at the end of the night.
SON OF A JSJSJJSJAKJDD
Honestly, girl should've just gone with Minho...or literally ANYONE ELSE (#JusticeforMinho) because they'd treat her WAY better than that piece of gum under my shoe named Han Jisung 😭
if only (han jisung) | one shot.
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—summary: even after going above & beyond for your best friend throughout the twists & turns your relationship has brought, you still end up dealing with a terrible case of han jisung welcoming love, but not being able to love in return.
—pairing: han jisung x f. reader
—genre: (18+) college au, best friends w/ benefits | heavy angst, smut
—word count: 18.4k
—warnings: lots of heavy/triggering stuff in this please proceed with caution!! fuckboy!han, heavy angst, cussing, partying, clubbing, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of yacking 😐, toxic relationships (past & current i guess?), lies on top of lies, jisung calls oc ‘babe’ but there isnt anything behind it besides it being a nickname 😅, making out, protected sex, car sex, choking, fingering/clit play, mentions of a hickey or two, manipulation/gaslighting, hurtful arguments, unspoken feelings, lots of overthinking and insecurities, jisung says a lot of things that hold zero weight, minor violence (like punching an object), poor minho?? he’s patient af, minsung are good friends but there’s also this awfully weird shift that happens between them everytime oc is involved (mainly bcos of jisung), jisung is messy, jisung is drama, it’s not always mentioned in detail but the infidelity exists, also not always mentioned but all events occur over a span of time, if this whole thing feels messy it’s absolutely intended, just 18k of a downward spiral and toxic cycles 😔 no happy ending!!
—a/n: a birthday gift from me to you <33
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playlist: less of you (cover) - fern // snooze - sza // oceans - flores// leave before you love me - jonas brothers & marshmello // catch my breath - william singe // lie 2 me - fern
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zirkkun · 4 years ago
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Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)
I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol
In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.
It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol
Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.
Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.
Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.
Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕
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grumpysepticsauce · 4 years ago
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YouTuber Roleplay Plots (Characters Included!)
//tw for mentions of temporary character death and violence
Before we get into the actual plot ideas I had that I wanted to share with you, in case you are interested in roleplaying any of these with me, here's a list of all the YouTubers I'm capable of roleplaying as;
Pewdiepie
Roomie (Joel)
Boyinaband (Dave)
Markiplier (Includes Egos)
Jacksepticeye (Includes Egos)
CrankGameplays
Game Grumps - Arin
Game Grumps - Dan
Wilbur Soot
Corpse
Quackity
RubberNinja (Ross)
Vinny Vinesauce
Joel Vargskelethor
JaidenAnimations
TheOdd1sOut
SuperMega- Matt
SuperMega- Ryan
Daniel Howell
AmazingPhil
Muyskerm
LordMinion777
WildSpartanz
Kingani
Pokimane
ihascupquake
Aphmau
CallMeKevin
GrayStillPlays
CaptainSauce
The roleplay can be completely platonic or include romance! But remember; if you want to include romance between two or more YouTube stars, you must be aware that it is a fictional situation and the pairing is not something to obsess over. OCs are welcome, too! I'll gladly play as one of your comfort stars for a character and I can play as more than one character at a time!
Now, let me share my plot ideas with you!
Plot #1: Among Us
Ten YouTubers are placed in a virtual reality simulation for a full 48 hours. In this simulation, the team of ten is placed on a spacecraft by the government and sent off to search for alien life. The problem is; two of the crewmates amongst them are already aliens, hungry killers at that. Character A is an imposter who actually feels guilty about the mayhem they have to cause, especially since they can hear and see the ghosts of those they've killed. Character B is an innocent crewmate who anxiously sides with Character A and the two team up until Character B finally becomes suspicious. But just as Character B tries to get away..Character A brings them down. Now Character A is haunted by their ghost until the end of the simulation.
Plot #2: Angels and Demons
Character A is a beast known as a fallen angel. Fallen Angels are forced out of heaven for supposed wrongdoings, and in this case, Character A is framed for a murder that they did not commit. This turns Character A into a cold-blooded bastard who doesn't trust anyone, not even the demons they're forced to live amongst now. Meanwhile, Character B was sent to hell completely on accident. Their friend attempted to summon a demon, which required a sacrifice. Character B became said sacrifice and ended up here as a supposed punishment for assisting in the summoning. When Character B meets Character A, they try to help the fallen angel go back to their positive ways so the two can go back to heaven together.
Plot #3: Band AU
Character A is the lead singer of a band that they created with their two best friends. One of those best friends is Character B, who has never sang for the band before, but has been secretly writing song lyrics and singing when they're alone. When Character A doesn't notice that Character B is trying to get their attention with their own songs, Character B goes to one of the members of the band's tour group for comfort. Character A becomes jealous, seeing Character B with another person, and decides to write a song about them, not knowing that all Character B wants is to be in the spotlight just once.
Plot #4: My Hero
Character A has been living a peaceful life in their apartment in the city for a few years now. But when Character B moves in next door, things take a sudden and unexpected turn. It gets to a point where Character A can hear yelling and banging on the walls every night and actually becomes concerned for Character B's safety. However, when Character A goes to confront Character B, they claim that they're not in any danger, despite living with a partner with anger issues. And the worst part is..Character B has a young child, an infant that's caught up in this mess too. Character A is determined to get both Character B and their child out of their abusive home and to help them recover.
Plot #5: Wolf Pack AU
In Mystery Falls, there's a large, dense forest that consists of four different wolf packs. Each pack owns their own area of land and isn't allowed to infiltrate any of the other territories without permission. But all of these wolves have a secret..they're actually a species known as Lycans. Lycans have both a human and a wolf form. They're identified as Alpha, Omega or Beta, based on their gender and sexual orientation. Each pack of Lycans has an Alpha leader, an Omega queen, and a Beta guard leader. The guard is the group of wolves that goes hunting with the Alpha every half-moon. Character A is the Alpha leader and after a fire occurs across their previous territory, not only is the pack forced to move, but the leader loses their partner and their pups. This makes them a stern leader, who shows no mercy and treats others like they don't mean as much to the pack. Character B is originally just a human, but after being attacked by another pack leader, they find themselves turning into a Lycan and come across Character A's pack, asking for their help. Character A originally insists upon turning Character B away, until the pack decides that Character B can act as a temporary queen until Character A gets another mate. Character A ends up finding a new friendship in Character B, and the two slowly become inseparable.
Plot #6: Zombie Apocalypse
Character A had just been arrested after being framed for the murder of a stranger. While on their way to jail in the back of a police car, something slams into the windshield and the vehicle crashes on the side of the road. When Character A wakes up from being unconscious, they find the police officer that was driving the car is now dead and that they're surrounded by..zombies. Character A manages to get rid of their handcuffs, finds a weapon and gets to work on shooting away at the zombies crawling around them. Once they can make a run for it, they escape into the nearest house, which appears to be abandoned. But it's not abandoned. Character B is a child that was abandoned by their parents and is hiding in the treehouse right outside of the abandoned home. The home was actually invaded by zombies, and Character B's parents are..dead. Character A begrudgingly gains Character B's trust and the two become traveling partners as they try to survive the zombie apocalypse.
Plot #7: Superhero AU
Character A is the hero of the city. A masked and mysterious character that everyone admires because of their strength and bravery. Character B is a new villain who has come to destroy the city and leaves their trail for Character A to find. The two would never admit it out loud, but they actually enjoy playing their little game of cat and mouse together. When Character A ends up in trouble due to the wrongdoings of another bad guy, they're much surprised to find that Character B is there to save them. That's when Character A realizes that Character B isn't so bad after all and is now determined to teach Character B how to be a good person, despite the fact that Character B runs away every time Character A comes across them.
Plot #8: Littlespace
Character A has been a caregiver for a few different age regressors over the years. They love taking care of those who are vulnerable and are in need of a new way to cope. However, none of the age regressors they've ever cared for have stuck around for a long time. The previous littles have only relied on Character A until they found someone else to take care of them. So when Character B, one of Character A's closest friends, reaches out with an interest in learning more about what it's like to age regress, Character A is shocked but more than happy to be the best caregiver possible for their friend.
These plots can be edited to suit your roleplaying needs! I'd also like to hear any ideas you may have. Please don't show any hate or distaste towards this post, as everything written here is purely for fun and is not meant to be taken seriously. Please direct message me if you're interested. I do have Discord, you can ask for it in DMs if it's easier to talk there. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day!
Reblogs are appreciated, but do not repost.
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yarbafecirtaeb · 4 years ago
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March Madness | PARA
Who- Beatrice and Arin Where- Frannie’s basement When- Nightime.
Bea stared down at her phone, her sisters "Why?" threatening her. Why did she and Blaine date when he was so obviously gay? She knows they know what their father will do to make the perfect couple but that didn't explain the actual relationship she and Blaine had. The parts that made it feel serious and real even though they had no real say in the matter. Maybe she did love him and that has her responding before she can even stop herself, phone smashing to the concrete floor as tears welled up in her eyes.
Arin had been walking by the door to the stairs that led down into the basement when she heard what definitely sounded like something breaking. Normally, she wouldn't have thought anything of it, but with the way Bea had been, she wasn't really sure she could let it go. Ever since Bea had come into the house she'd been weird, distant, and bitchy. Granted, Arin didn't know her all that well, but even the encounters they'd had, had been really not-good, for either of them. There was something that was bugging Arin about it and without a second thought, she opened the door and headed down to the second door. She knocked once and then tried the door, finding it unlocked, she entered, closing it and locking it behind her. She caught sight of Bea's phone on the ground and raised an eyebrow. "Care to tell me why there's a shattered phone on the ground?"
Bea just stares at Arin wide eyed, before looking down to the phone. "I threw it." And she's quick to kneel down to try and gather bigger pieces of the shattered screen.
"Obviously. And why?" Arin really wasn't sure what had brought it on, but she wanted to know. The younger woman's energy was really effecting people, she'd seen it with Quinn, she'd seen it with Frannie, and there had definitely been issues with Sugar and even Blaine on game night. It was getting to a point where it needed explaining.
Bea doesn't look up at Arin, she just stares at the ground and her hands that held remnants of her phone. "I didn't want to answer it."
"Answer what?" Arin really didn't know what to do with the way Bea was reacting. With most people she'd approach, but things weren't feeling right to her.
"I didn't want to answer a message. Why does it matter. I need to clean it up."
"Because you've been off since the day you fucking got here. And this is just one more thing in a long list of things that makes me wonder if Frannie was right to let you live here." Arin crossed her arms over her chest. She hated to admit it, but as much good as Liv had been doing for Frannie, having to worry about Bea and Quinn to worry about was only going to make things go backwards for Frannie.
"If Frannie wants me to leave she can just say so!" She can't help but clench her hands. "I didn't even want to come here. I never should have."
Arin scoffed. "You think Frannie would fucking turn you away? That woman cares more about you and Quinn than she does herself. And if you don't want to fucking be here, then don't be here. You're an adult. You can make your own choices. If you don't want to be here, you don't have to be. But stop taking it out on everyone else."
"No. She'd have you do it for her." Bea stands up, she doesn't mean it but it won't hurt if she doesn't admit she enjoyed her time so far. Even if it didn't seem like it. "It was Daddy's idea I come. He thought I'd find something out." She had no intentions of ever seeking out information but the chance to leave him was a chance she couldn't say no to.
Arin rolled her eyes. It was the biggest lie on the planet. As much as Frannie loved her, Arin knew, at the end of the day, she'd be the one to leave, not Beatrice. However, it was Beatrice said next that had Arin's jaw clenching. "You're playing spy for that fucking bastard? Really? You'd betray your sister's trust like that? How fucking pathetic are you?"
"I didn't. I never was going to. I just thought I could keep saying there was nothing to say and he'd give up."
Arin scoffed. "You think that bastard would give up? Really? How fucking dumb are you?" She shook her head. "And what are you going to do when he doesn't give up? When he decides that you're lying to him? Because it'll happen. I've seen it. I do business with that bastard on the regular."
"Stop calling him that!" Bea is pacing, furiously in circles. "I don't know, okay? I don't know. I just needed to get out and harvard would keep him happy."
"No, I won't. Because that's what he is." Arin raised an eyebrow as Beatrice paced. "Why the fuck do you need to keep him happy? You're an adult."
“Frannie and Quinn left him. I’m all he has left.” She can feel herself panicking but just continues to walk in circles. “It doesn’t matter. If Frannie wants me to leave I’ll go. I’ll figure something out.”
"Do you know why your sisters left? Do you? Have you ever asked?" Arin growled. Frannie and Quinn were, in a lot of ways, her world. The Fabrays were the closest things she's ever had to siblings and she wasn't going to leave them undefended. "You know nothing about your older sisters, do you? Frannie would kick me out long before she even thought about telling you to leave, no matter how uncomfortable you were to make her."
"I don't need to know. I don't want to know." She's heard things. She knows he wasn't hurting them the way he's hurting her because Bea knows Frannie wouldn't have left her to endure that. "I don't want to make her uncomfortable."
"Well you fucking should. Because believe me, if you knew the kind of shit he did, you wouldn't be so inclined to be his little fucking pet." Arin all but spat, her own anger rising. Arin knew their stories like the back of her hand. Knew things about them that no one else knew. "Yeah, well being a little bitch all the fucking time? She might not say it, but you are."
Bea stops in place. "You think I want to be?" She releases the pieces of her phone from her hands unsure on what to do next. This conversation is already putting her at risk of saying too much and she feels herself shutting down at the thought. It's clear she's not okay but pretending it is nothing had stopped working long before now. "I was being selfish but I can't stop."(edited)
"You're a fucking adult, Beatrice. You can easily cut that bastard off. But you don't want to. So you take it out on everyone else. You make living with you like walking on fucking eggshells. And personally, I'm fucking tired of it. I have seen both your sisters in the deepest parts of their fucking trauma and never have I felt like I have to worry about getting my head taken off the way I have with you." Arin rolled her neck a little.
When she'd left to dance is when she learned just how messed up she really was. It had been easy to hide because she made it hard for the others to get close to her the same way she was doing now. Except these people actually care. They aren't going to push her down stairs, or use what their father had done as a way to get ahead. But she can't say it. The thought of it has her sick to her stomach. "I didn't think it would be like this. I thought they'd be like me. I shouldn't have thought this would work."(edited)
"What do you mean, you thought they'd be like you?" Arin narrowed her eyes at Beatrice. Whatever the younger woman was thinking was fucked up, and honestly Arin was growing sicker of it by the minute.
"Forget it, okay? I just need to sit down." And she does, sitting in the corner, holding her knees to her chest. "I thought no one would care, okay? And no one really does. Frannie does because she's too nice not to but that hardly counts because she has you to make it clear how the whole world is feeling. I should have thought about Blaine."
Arin scoffed. "It's incredibly hard to care about someone who treats you like shit. Frannie does it because you're family. And I have fucking tried to care. But all you've done is acted like a little bitch. Start shit just to fuck off." Arin breathed out through her nose. "What does you being a little bitch have to do with Blaine? What's your fucking thing with him?"
"Blaine didn't expect to see me. The last time I saw him I slapped him and we haven't spoken sinse. That's the issue. Okay?" And really that's only half of it. "I didn't come here trying to start anything but it's not going to stop."
"So that explains one night. And only one night." She glared at Beatrice. "So you're just not going to deal with whatever shit has you being a bitch? You're just going to put Frannie through that? Having to deal with you being a bitch and caring about no one but yourself despite the fact that she is letting you live in her home, rent free? Despite the fact she's being beyond kind to you?" Arin scoffed. "Selfish fucking  bitch, you are. Frannie deserves better than you as a sister, if that's the kind of shit you're willing to put her through."
It's not really what she wants, but she doesn't know what to do. "There is no excuse, okay? I'm just a bitch." She's just staring at the wall in front of her, fingers tapping on top of her knees. "I thought I'd be able to live the way I had when I left home but everything here just reminds me what I was trying to get away from. What I can't use anymore. Can you just go already?"
"No, because I want fucking answers. I want to know why you think you can be such a little bitch to the very people who are trying to support you. Because Frannie deserves those answers and since she's too nice, and too afraid of becoming someone she isn't to get them, that leaves me. I refuse to have you live here and be a bitch without explanation. Especially if you want some sort of fucking dynamic with me. Because I refuse to be in a dynamic with someone who refuses to be an adult even part of the time."
"I never asked for support. I never even needed help until I got here." Bea begins rocking a bit trying to calm herself down. "Forget it. I don't want anything. Not with you. Not with anyone. I'll figure something out so I don't need to be here upsetting everyone." The only place she really has to go is home though and she begins holding her knees tighter.
"All I'm hearing is that because you refuse to be an adult you're making everyone else fucking miserable. Because you refuse to take responsibility for yourself and your actions, because you chose to come here. You asked Frannie for a place to stay. And now you're punishing all of us because you don't want to be here, despite being the one to make those choices. Frannie doesn't want you to leave, gods, I don't necessarily want you to leave. What I want, is for you to grow the hell up and accept responsibility for your shit. Whatever you've been through, whatever has you like this, you can fucking  get help for it. Fuck knows everyone else has."
"That's it. I refuse to be an adult because I don't need help for something that didn't happen." Bea closes her eyes, humming to herself quietly in hopes of calming herself down. She feels ready to explode and she doesn't know how to handle that.
"Bull fucking shit, Beatrice!" Arin shouted, she didn't mean to, but she did. "I know damn fucking well the way that bastard treated you girls. I don't know what he did to you, but I know what he did to your sisters. I know the kind of pain and trauma he caused. I have nursed both of them back to reality so many times. You cannot tell me you don't have shit you need to deal with. Because it's clear as fucking day you are fucked up."
“Please leave. Please.” She’s pleading, rocking in her spot. “I just want to see Blaine and not want to throw up. I want to be able to sit here and not feel like I’m going to explode any second. But I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.”
"Then get fucking help! For fucks sake it's actually that easy! Do what the rest of us have had to do, and go to fucking therapy!"
“I’d rather pretend it’s not real then get him in trouble or tell someone else’s secret.”
Arin groaned pinching the bridge of her nose. "Stay the fuck away from me then. Because I can't deal with someone who refuses to get the help they need to stop treating other people like shit. And if you so much as upset Frannie, in anyway, because you refuse to get help, I will find a way to get rid of you. Because I refuse to watch my best friend backslide after she worked for YEARS to get to where she is now. I refuse to watch her suffer at the hands of a little bitch like you." Arin turned and made her way to the door.
“I won’t bother her. You don’t need to worry about it.”
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songbird-berry · 4 years ago
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RACHEL AND QUINN HEAD CANON 
SUNDAY AFTERNOON MARCH SOMETIME
Rachel is actually terrified. She’s not seen her since high school and their relationship then was not that great or healthy
But she is taken away by how beautiful Quinn still is “my chariot awaits!”
I love that Q will, at least internally, just be like "I am genuinely A MESS why are you looking at me like I'm still in a cheerios uniform?"
Rachel just kind of looks down at the ground and focuses on her breathing for a moment “it wasn’t about the Cheerios uniform”
And rachel places her bags on the back and sits.
Coffees in a tray on her lap
Quinn just doing the eyebrow raise and driving up to the house without a comment. Probably doesn't talk at all until they get into the house.
“Are you up for eating?”
"Leftovers will last me for a few hours."
Breathes and makes herself at home placing coffee on kitchen counter and just placing the whole bag in the fridge. “Black coffee is okay I hope?”
"Yeah, it's easiest to drink coffee black on tour anyway."
“It’s nice to see you again Quinn.” And she just hands her the coffee and looks expectantly hoping she’d lead them in the direction of somewhere more performing then the  of the kitchen
Quinn just smiles awkwardly and takes the coffee before just leading Rachel to her bedroom. It's definitely a mess, but the bed is freshly made. She sets the coffee down on the side table and takes off the hoodie, tossing it on a chair in the corner and climbing onto her bed. She's probably wearing a tank top.
Rachel takes off her own jacket and takes a few sips of her coffee before placing it next to Quinn’s. “I’m going to sit down on the bed, okay?” And she does not too close to Quinn but close enough
Quinn nods, grabbing her coffee and taking a few sips, nestling it in her lap. She has various scars on her arms, all of different types.  "It's getting harder to detox. To come down. To be a person again.  And no one wants to treat the trauma without me clean and sober, but I can't do that. I tried once. I really fucking tried."
“Maybe don’t do it cold turkey.”
She reaches over to take her hand, giving it a squeeze
“Baby steps and accepting support “
She sighs. "It's getting harder because I'm giving up." Her words are quiet. "I've been doing this shit for over a decade now. I've tried stopping so many times, and I can do it for a few months at a time, but without a way to treat the trauma... I just go right back to it."
“You don’t have to give up or give in”
She scoffs, taking a long drink of her coffee. "I'm just tired of fighting it."
Rachel just kind of squeezes Quinn’s hand tighter gasping a little at that admission. “Being tired makes everything so hard but if you start accepting help for things. Even if they’re little. You won’t feel so alone. You’ll be able to keep fighting a little longer. You’ll be surprised what time can do even if it feels like it’s been so long already.”
Aka she wants to say “I am magic and you haven’t let me in your life before now” but doesn’t wanna scare her
"Everyone I know has their own fucking shit to deal with. They don't need mine too. Fucking Frannie it's finally healing from so much and I don't want to be why she stops or backslides. Pretty sure Liv is helping with that, though not entirely sure how. Bea is going through lord only knows what right now. There's not a lot of spare help to go around."
“If you’d let me...I can help.” She thinks it might even help her but it’s not really about that as much as it is wanting to help Quinn find what she needs
"You're out of here in what, a month? Besides, you have work. You don't need to be worrying about me too."
“You think transforming into Elphaba every night is work?”
"Legally speaking, yes."
Rachel laughs, “We have a month and I have very little to do outside of performing every night.”
"That doesn't mean you should be spending it worrying about a fucked up rockstar who literally made your teenager years a living hell, for funsies."
“I don’t believe it was for fun.”
Quinn shrugs. "I don't know, I got a kick out of it sometimes."
“And so do I but that’s besides the point.”
“I think you can trust me. I think part of you already does. Let me help you.”
"What happens when you're gone? What happens when the tour moves on and you go with it? Distance is the very reason I knew I could get away with drug usage without Frannie worrying. I can't imagine I won't be inclined to pull something similar."
“I don’t know.” And she just kind of let’s go of Quinn’s hand
“A month is a long time.”
She shakes her head. "No, it's not."
“So you just want me to give up then because you’re ready to?”
Groans. "No, I want you to be fucking realistic about it! You'll be gone in a fucking month and I'll still be here. Or I'll head back out to Cali. Either way, it's stupid to think I'll change so much in a month that I won't just go back to doing what I always do. Bury it, lie about, and get fucked up next chance I get."
“Then come with me and travel when work make you”
Crazy talk Berry
"Nope. No. Not happening. Bad idea times about a million."
“I have nothing else.”
Sighs. "You're not supposed to. I'm not your problem."
“I don’t see you as a problem.”
"That's your first mistake then. Because I am. I always have been."
“In your eyes maybe.” And she grabs her hand again to squeeze before excusing herself. Rachel makes it to the kitchen before the tears of frustration start creeping and she’s stuck breathing and fighting them before grabbing water for both of them and going back to the bedroom . She’ll drink a lot of hers before sitting back on the bed “let me lay with you”
“Please.”
Quinn just sits there, drinking her coffee really confused cos she really is just so used to people seeing her as the problem. Even if they don't mean to. She's fucked up and to everyone else it doesn't look like she's trying to change even if she is. Shit is just hard, but god forbid the pretty white girl with the rich family and the amazing music career have actual fucking problems. And I almost don't think she expects Rachel to come back, so when she does, she doesn't look at her. In fact she probably avoids the concept all together, even as she sets her mostly empty coffee aside and moves to curl up under the covers.
Rachel is aware she made the wrong move in walking away. That’s usually how it seemed when she took care of herself first. “I won’t give up on you Quinn. I never did.”
Probably just scoffs as she buries her head into her pillow cos she's definitely trying not to cry.
Rachel just kinda warns that she is going to hold her now and lies down and embraces her
She definitely like inches away at first, cos again weakness around people is not her forte but she does end up just crying, curled in on herself.
Rachel just moves with her. She’d move if Quinn like told her to but her inching away is a defense and Rachel knows it
Rachel is stubborn as usual
“I’ve got you”
She eventually rolls over and just buries herself against Rachel instead which I think is genuinely something she's only ever done to people like Frannie or Arin, people who she trusts wholeheartedly because they've been the only ones to ever hold her.
and rachel just holds her close rubbing her back and focusing on not just saying what her brain is yelling at her.  She just wants to be there for Quinn in the moment
“I’m here, okay?”
That definitely just makes her cry harder, honestly. She's so bad at being cared for but also physically can't stop if she wanted to. Like it definitely takes a really long time for her to stop crying and even when she does she definitely just stays buried into Rachel, cos I think some part of her is genuinely scared that if she lets go Rachel will leave.
I don’t think Rachel moves, she just holds her and rubs her back and like whispers sweet nothings into her hair or something cause she can’t help herself but doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable either
Quinn eventually calming down but her brain just refuses to function properly so she ends up saying, "You suck" even as she just curls further into Rachel, cos she definitely kinda blames Rachel for the crying so obviously it is Rachel's fault and thus Rachel is the one who sucks, but she really also definitely doesn't mean it.
“I know.” And she giggles a little, pulling her in tighter.
"You realize you didn't deserve the hand you were dealt either, right?"
"Now, sure. But over twenty years of abuse doesn't change the fact I treated other people that same way."
"You want to change. You have changed."
"Doesn't mean I don't owe you the apology anyway. That I don't owe you acknowledging what I did and that it was wrong."
"I forgive you Quinn. Okay?"
Presses a soft kiss to Rachel's neck. "Okay."
"Do you need anything?"
"Kinda feel like I need sleep again. But like, not really, no."
"Let me rub your back?"
"M'kay." Totally just has her face  buried into Rachel's neck, placing random soft kisses.
Rachel will just hum and rub her back until they fall asleep or Quinn wants her to stop
Quinn deffo falls alseep
rachel will too lulled by the sound of quinns breathing
how late do you think they should sleep LOL. I feel like at least a few hours have passed since rachel got there, like 11-1 range they fell asleep
I feel like Quinn set an alarm on her phone so that she knew Rachel would be able to get to the theater in time, which is probably and hour and a half before showtime, but whether they sleep that long or not idk
i can see it happening to be honest. rachel is tired. she sleeps a lot lol so shes pretty stoked quinn is so snuggly
They totally wake up to the alarm and Quinn just groans and buries her face into Rachel because she's comfy
I don't think Rachel realized how hard it would feel to wake up when this is like a dream come true, being held and in the arms of Quinn Fabray. But waking up is already so hard. "We can just roll  back over and go back to sleep."
"No." Grumbles but gets off her. "You have work. hat is the Rachel work alarm."
“I don’t want to leave this moment.”
"You have to leave soon, or you'll be late. And I will not have you be late. Not because of me."
“I need to shower.” And she’ll like sadly untangle herself and sit up
"Bathroom is over there? You can borrow some of my plainer stuff if you'd like to actually change?" Kinda just gestures to the en-suite, not really sure if that's what Rachel meant but also knowing that she didn't particularly factor THAT into her alarm.
“A pair of leggings and a tshirt of some sort would be great if it’s not too much.” She definitely didn’t think any of this through but she doesn’t mind it despite her heart beating fast “I’ll be right out” and she’ll shower and do all that
She’ll come out wrapped in a towel
Quinn just humming and going to dig through her closet. Rachel probably comes back to like ten different fucking options (because tbh if she's not hanging out in sweats she's hanging out in leggings cos bby likes to be comfy) and Quinn sat on the bed playing with a Switch or some other handheld gaming device cos it makes for easy entertainment on tour.
Rachel thinks it’s cute but just grabs a simple black pair and let’s say one of Quinn’s band shirts were in the mix and Rachel chooses that before going off to change
Q owns, and wears, entirely too much of her own merch. She just thinks they're comfy and why would she sell something she doesn't believe in?
Rachel will go into the kitchen once she’s dressed to dip up Quinn a assortment of the things she brought. “You’ll eat, right?” She says as she brings it in to the bedroom. “At some point while I’m gone at least?”
Quinn just smiles. "Yeah, I'll probably eat a little, shower, then finish eating. Then y'know go shopping."
“It’s the perfect plan. I need to call an Uber. I can come back if you need me.”
And there’s like
So much ache in her voice like please need me
"You're still coming over tomorrow, aren't you?"
“Is that still what you want?” And she’s dealing with the Uber now so she doesn’t have to look at Quinn when she answers.
“Like we planned?”
"Is there a reason I shouldn't?" Like she's probably hiding behind her switch so she doesn't have to look at Rachel.
“You might feel like changing your mind once I leave.”
"And why would I do that? I still haven't gotten to do with you what I want."
Rachel can’t help but flush, “I know where you live now.”
"That you do."
"What time do you want me?"
"Maybe around lunch?"
“Do you want me to dress up for you?”
"Short skirt, underwear optional, it'll come off soon enough anyway. Everything else is on you. Or well, it will be, for a while."
“I look forward to it Quinn.” And her eyes light up her whole face really does when she smiles.
Quinn smiles softly. "So do I." She climbs off the bed and pulls her hoodie on. "I'll drive you back out to the gate."
“The best ride in the city if you ask me.” And she’ll definitely like warn Quinn she’s hugging her when they get to the gate
Before doing it
Quinn just chuckles. "That's definitely not true." She definitely hugs her tight back and presses a kiss to her cheek with a quiet, "Thanks."
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arinmelnikov · 4 years ago
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      ❝𝕴 𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖎𝖋 𝖎𝖙 𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖘 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖚𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘.❞
                   – – an Arin Melnikov playlist.
1. “Trashed And Scattered” Avenged Sevenfold
Trashed and scattered again, I’m feeling so low You waste your breath while fucking with me, my blood is so cold My destination’s always unknown, I’ll find my way there But you goddamn motherfuckers always wasting my time
I wont be the a victim, but the first to cast a stone Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll And don’t you try to stop me, it’s a place you’ll never know Don’t try to judge or take shots at me, I’ll never let you seize control
Play your game and walk away, your integrity don’t mean shit Crawl on me, you fucking parasite, and I’m gonna take you out
2. “Spit It Out” Slipknot
Did you never give a damn in the first place? Maybe it's time you had the tables turned 'Cause in the interest of all involved, I got the problem solved, and the verdict is guilty Man nearly killed me, stepping where you fear to tread Stop, drop, and roll, you were dead from the get-go Big mouth fucker, stupid cocksucker, are you scared of me now? Then you're dumber than I thought Always is and never was, foundation made of piss and vinegar Step to me, I'll smear ya, think I fear your bullshit? Just another dumb punk chomping at this shit Here’s another way to break through the noise Was it something that I said that got you bent? Gotta be that way if you want it Sanity, literal profanity, hit me
Spit it out All you wanna do is drag me down All I wanna do is stamp you out
About time I set this record straight, all the needlenose punching is making me irate Sick of my bitching falling on deaf ears Where you gonna be in the next five years? The crew and all the fools and all the politics Get your lips ready, gonna gag, gonna make you sick You got dick when they passed out the good stuff Bam, are you sick of me? Good enough, had enough?
Fuck me, I’m all out of enemies Fuck me, I’m all out of enemies Fuck me, I’m all out of enemies
3. “Dust To Dust” Misfits
Hate you, father, for you have sinned Why did you let this life begin? I’m not your savior, I’m not your son A forgotten boy, abandoned creation
Oh, mother, father, answer me Your soulless son, your thing that should not be A brilliant demon, a monster god You gave me life, but took the soul away
With these final words, I pull the switch, we turn to dust Dust to dust My name is like the kiss of death And we embrace, we turn to dust With these final words, I pull the switch, we turn to dust Dust to dust My name is like the kiss of death Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
4. “Walk” Pantera
Can’t you see I’m easily bothered by persistence? One step from lashing out at you You want in, to get under my skin and call yourself a friend I’ve got more friends like you. what do I do?
Is there no standard anymore? What it takes, who I am, where I’ve been Belong You can’t be something you’re not Be yourself by yourself Stay away from me A lesson learned in life Known from the dawn of time
Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk, are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?
5. “Lights Out” Mindless Self Indulgence
Who the hell said any of you get a taste? Do you ever wanna get up all in your face? And nothing you can do could ever make me go away Poor baby, I’m gonna make it all okay
Punch your lights out, hit the pavement That’s what I call entertainment Causing problems makes you famous All the violence makes a statement Punch your lights out, hit the pavement That’s what I call entertainment Causing problems makes you famous All this violence makes a statement
6. “Dead Ringer” Des Rocs
Oh, my reflection's from a time when all the worst was a game Nothing like the shake of life Stuck up in a race, race, race, race, race Hell caught a shadow of a guy Can’t find him one little break See, there’s a gap in his smile For fitting all his pain, pain, pain, pain, pain
Oh, lady I’ve got my hand on the trigger And it’s pointed at the dead ringer
Hold my cigarette while it’s lit And let it burn you, baby Oh, dead ringer, you’re so sick But you look amazing
7. “Are You Dead Yet?” Children Of Bodom
I kiss the ground with love beyond forever Flip off the sky with bleeding fingers till I die
Enemy, take one good look at me Eradicate what you will always be Tainted flesh, polluted soul Through a mirror I behold Throw a punch, shards bleed on the floor Tearing me apart, but I don’t care anymore Should I regret? Or ask myself Are you dead yet?
8. “Blood On My Hands” The Used
You felt the coldness in my eyes, and something I’m not revealing Though you got used to my disguise, you can’t shake this awful feeling It’s the me that I let you know ‘Cause I’ll never show, I have my reasons I hate to say that I told you so, but I told you so
There’s blood on my hands like the blood in you Some things can’t be treated, so don’t make me, don’t make me Be myself around you
9. “Absolute Zero” Stone Sour
The bloody angle, the symmetry Your cheap adhesive isn’t holding me My mouth is a gun I can shoot, I can show you the truth And I don’t need a reason to lie to you
No pun intended, no punishment If I offended you, you needed it Ideas are the bombs in your mind A fissure in time If you don’t have a weapon, you can’t have mine
I can bleed if I wanna bleed I can fail if I feel the need This face is my last confession This life, it feels like a prison
I am not afraid I’m giving in to grievances again You’re looking at an absolute zero I’m not the devil But I won’t be your hero
No fucking quarter, no premiums The world is stuck in delirium Man is a four-letter word, it’s really absurd The hate isn’t fake It’s just inferred
10. “Thank You For The Venom” My Chemical Romance
You’ll never make me leave I wear this on my sleeve You wanna follow something? Give me a better cause to lead Just give me what I need Give me a reason to believe
So give me all your poison, and give me all your pills And give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill You’re running after something that you’ll never kill If this is what you want Then fire at will
11. “Rather Die” Barns Courtney
I can touch the planets through the roof of my car You’re reaching for the heavens, only bark at the stars Now, all your hundred thousands best remember my name I’d sucker punch an army if it got in my way
I came to kill ‘em Now I’m wiping the spit from my eyes I’ll take a beating But I, I’ll never give up I, I, I think I’d rather die I think I’d rather die I think I’d rather I think I’d rather die
12. “Burning Flag” Marilyn Manson
I’ll join the crowd that wants to see me dead Right now I feel I belong for the first time Multiply your death, divide by sex Add up the violence and what do you get?
We are all just stars and we’re waiting We are all just scarred and we’re hating We are all just stars on your burning flag
You can point your gun at me And hope it will go away But if God was alive He would hate you anyway
13. “Bitter” Anarchy Club
I’m sick and tired of the sick and tired Because what it is just ain’t the thing it was before You’ve heard the stories all before But they’re all true What’s in the mirror, clearer Staring back at you
Set it, set it, set it Set it, set it, set it Set it, set it, set it Set it, set it, set it Set it off
14. “Bang” Empires
Well, I’m sick of banging with your skeleton You were gorgeous till you gave out all your skin Now I can never really take it to the heart again I still got yours blowing up inside my head
At least I’m waking up At least I’m waking up with you hiding in my bones At least I’m waking up I’m waking up You’re dying a legend, darling And I’m dying to touch you, baby
Oh wait, oh wait, before I let you go There’s a thread or two still left between our souls But you went messing with the gods and never fell away You’re still burning off the angel on your face
Oh, this is love Bang up my heart to get your love Bang in my heart to feel you, love Bang, bang up my heart to get your love Bang in my heart to feel you Gonna bang, bang up my heart to get your love Bang on my heart
15. “Flames” R3HAB, Zayn, Jungleboi
Well, well, you better run from me You better hit the road You better up and leave Don’t get too close
‘Cause I’m a rolling stone And I keep rolling on You better run from me Before I take your soul
If I go, let me go Don’t you follow me, let me go I will let you down, let me go Even if your heart can’t take it Light me up in flames
16. “Die MF Die” Dope
I don’t need your forgiveness I don’t need your hate I don’t need your acceptance So what should I do?
I’ll be sorry, so you’ve said I’m not sorry Bang, you’re dead
Die, motherfucker Die, motherfucker, die Die, motherfucker Die, motherfucker, die
17. “Bodies” Drowning Pool
Push me again This is the end
One, nothing wrong with me Two, nothing wrong with me Three, nothing wrong with me Four, nothing wrong with me One, something’s got to give Two, something’s got to give Three, something’s got to give Now
Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor
Skin against skin, blood and bone You’re all by yourself but you’re not alone You wanted in, and now you’re here Driven by hate, consumed by fear
18. “No Money” Kings Of Leon
Won’t you give me something I need? Won’t you peel me off of the street? Go and wet my tongue Or spit me up and break me a fever
Give me something I can believe in Give me something to walk me away I’m a waste of time And all in all a waste of a living
Can't you see me walking alone I've been down to the haunts and back And I'm way too tired Of blowing out the burning candle
And all this pissing around Cut loose in this fucking town I ain't coming back I got my ticket on to the next one
19. “Parasite Eve” Bring Me The Horizon
I heard they need better signal Put chip and pins in the needles Quarantine all of those secrets in that black hole you call a brain Before it’s too late
Really we just wanna scream something Only pretend to believe something I know you’re baying for blood I wanna turn you around
You can board up your windows You can lock all your doors But you can’t keep washing your hands of this shit anymore When all the king’s horses and all the king’s men Don’t know their asses from their pathogens When life is a prison and death is the door This ain’t a warning This is a war
It’s a parasite eve Got a feeling in your stomach ‘cause you know that it’s coming So you leave your flowers and grieve Don’t forget what they told you When we forget the infection Will we remember the lesson? If the suspense doesn’t kill you Something else will
20. “Dig” Mudvayne
I would love to beat the face of any motherfucker that’s thinking they can change me White-knuckle grip pushing through for the gold If you want a piece of me, I broke the motherfucking mold
Dig Bury me underneath everything that I am rearranging Dig Bury me underneath everything that I was slowly changing
Let me help you tie the rope around your neck Let me help to talk you the wrong way off the ledge Let me help you hold the glock against your head Let me help you tie the rope around your neck Let me help to talk you the wrong way off the ledge Let me help you hold the glock against your head Let me help to chain the weights onto your legs
21. “In Waves” Trivium
Do I end this all for the world to see? Do I take everybody else down Everybody else down with me?
I know that death approaches fast What’s the purpose if this life won’t last? Pulling everyone down with me
Perpetually Perpetually, we’re igniting it in waves Incessantly Incessantly, we’re sinking in flames
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h-hart · 4 years ago
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Troublemaker
((Hiiii, so sorry for the very very VERY late fic hahaha. So, anyways here’s Haven’s story!! And part one of a hilarious and fun rp I did with @itssara-oc​ a while ago! Thanks Ana hahah! Anyways, this is not really edited!! And sorry this isn’t very well-written coz it’s been a while and I don’t remember what exactly H was thinking during the rp LOL))
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Gosh, how do people wear high heel shoes????????
I groan as I walk, more like stumble, into the garden. Sighing, I take a deep breath of fresh air.
Finally.
Finally, I’m in a place where there are no cameras. No guards. Nobody. Finally, maybe I can be myself.
I growl as I struggle to pull at the straps of my heels only to break them. I sigh in relief as the shoes fall from my feet. Picking them up, I throw the heels far away into some bush.
“Ow!” Some girl scre- wait what!? There is a girl?! I turn around swiftly too see a girl lying on the floor with the shoe next to her.
“oh shit.” I mutter as I look at her then back at the palace and back at her, contemplating whether I should make a run for it or check on the girl. Deciding on the latter, I sigh and say to myself. “Dude, what part of ‘don’t get into any trouble’ do you not understand?”
I walk to Sara and adjust the face mask I’m wearing and hold up two fingers in front of her, looking at her expectantly.
“Huh?” The girl says in confusion, but I refuse to speak. I hate that high-pitched squeaky voice and my throat is already hurting from using that voice for a few days. She tilts her head and does the same, holding two fingers up. “Peace?”
Seriously????
I frown as I try to stifle a laugh. This girl is quite cute. I shake my head to clear myself of the thoughts and finally speak in that ugly fake voice of mine. “if you know that’s peace then i guess you know i have two fingers up.” I offer my hand to her. “Sorry!”
Her face reddens. “Oh, so that's why you had two fingers up…” She looks at my hand hesitating but takes it anyway. I help her up and she frowns as she looks at my er feet. “Wait...you threw those heels?! I...I know they are probably uncomfortable but you didn't need to throw them” She touches her head, wincing. “Also...are you sick? Do you have a cold?”
“Uncomfortable. yes. bad voice. Mask.” I say, trying to speak as little words as possible. I look at her head, concerned. I did hit her with a shoe.  “you alright?” I ask, as I peer at her head, trying to examine the damage.
The girl continues to stare at me, tilting her head in curiosity. I look away, trying to hide my face from her. Which is honestly annoying because I have always been confident with my looks, I never had to cover them, but… I sigh again. “I-I'm okay.” She whispers before wincing and her face reddens again. I really hope she’s blushing from embarrassment and not dying from I don’t know, getting hit by a shoe. “Okay maybe I am not that okay... “ She mutters before looking around. “We should probably find somewhere else to be. I'm sure guards will round and find their way here. Then you'll explain everything, mask.” She shakes her head, and takes my hand. Woah, a bold girl. I smirk but then the reality of the situation hits me again and I sober up immediately, trying to focus on everything but her hand as she leads me away. Dude, calm down. You’ve held the hand of a million girls before.
Wait, did she just call me mask?
“Haven. i’m haven. not mask.” I tell her in my ugly ass voice.
“I figured that wasn't your name. But something is telling me that mask may have a pretty big meaning if you mentioned it. Haven. Well…” The dark haired girl glances back to look at me with a small smile. “I am Sara.”
I try to search my memory to see if I can remember any information about this selected, but then I roll my eyes when I remember I was too busy checking them out to remember their province or last name or well… name. Realizing that I haven’t said anything to this girl’s introduction, I end up whispering,
“hello sara”
She probably didn’t hear though, as she whispers, “I don't really know the palace that well and the only place I know that will give us privacy is my room.”
Her- what?! Woah woah woah, wait wow. I’m in a selected’s room!!!!!!
“sorry for the mess.” She mumbles as she all but drags me into her room. I shake my head as I look around it. It honestly is not messy at all as the only thing out of place are the notebooks sprawled on the desk. “First of all, I have a first aid kit so let me just see if I'm good and take some tylenol or something.” She says, all business-like as she heads to the restroom to look for pills. “Then...I'll hear you out...Haven.”
“There’s nothing to-” I begin to say but then I realize she probably can’t hear me. Sighing, I decide to do some exploring as I touch one of the notebooks on her desk.
Because in all honesty, I’ve never been in a girl’s room and had time or light to explore and check out their room, I’m usually… preoccupied.
“Sorry again. I usually make sure to put everything away an-” I hear Sara from behind me, she pauses and her voice drops down into a whisper. “You didn't look at it, right?”
I snatch my hand away immediately and shake my head. I turn around to face Sara and notice the bump.
“Oh.” She says as she smiles in relief. “Sorry, it's just…” She shakes her head. “Nothing. It's nothing.” Without a word, I take the first aid kit from her hands and motions her to sit before opening the kit up to find the stuff needed to treat her bump. “This may hurt.”
It is then I realize I forgot to use my stupidy voice, hopefully, she hit her head too badly to notice.
Okay, that was mean. I take it back.
She sits down immediately, face red again for being sensitive. I try to ignore as she stares at me with those big brown eyes. “Okay”
I hum a bit as I finish treating the bump and look at it proudly. I look down at the girl and realize how close we are and immediately pull away. Clearing my throat, I point to the ointment. “Every day.” Deciding I’ve stayed here long enough, I make a move to go back to my own room, but then I feel her hand around my wrist.
“Wait.” She says, I go still as I feel her getting up from the bed and getting closer. I close my eyes. “You know...You're pretty bad at hiding the fact you are not Haven.”
Fuck. I will my legs to move, but they’re frozen.
“Your voice is too low and it’s obviously not because you're sick. You are pretty well built. You suck at wearing heels. And then you had to mention a mask. That was your mistake so who are you? I'm not an idiot. No wonder you avoided everyone like the plague. Now that I think of it...you skipped the make over as well!” She continues.
The air is silent as we both take in what she’s accusing me off.
So this is how my life ends. That weird dude Arin is going to get me killed.
After what seemed like ages, I finally open my mouth and speak in that stupid fake voice of mine.
“I’m a sick Haven.” I say, and then in my attempt to escape, my mask moves and my nose pops out. I grunt as I turn away from her and try to leave her room. Suddenly, the big rooms in the palace seem almost catastrophic.
“Don't try now. And stop, you're gonna end up hurting yourself and me. You sound like a dying cat.” I feel her glaring at my back as she tightens her grip around my arm, I try not to stiffen as I know she will feel muscles there. She pulls at my arm. “If you try to leave I'll call the guards and that won't look good for anyone.” She tugs harder as I stand my ground, refusing to move. “I have brothers so I'm decently strong.” If we weren’t in the palace and we weren’t both selected, I would’ve laughed at this situation as she huffs in annoyance. “I won't say a word if that's what you're worried about.”
Can I trust her?
I contemplate trying to pull my arm away from her grip but I know if I do it again, we’ll both end up on the floor and while any other day, I won’t mind being on the ground with a hot girl like Sara- well, not today. So I look around trying to find a new escape route instead. Suddenly I see the notebook Sara didn’t want me to read and start to reach for it.
“why is it hard to tell me the obvious truth?” She says with a glare that I ignore. As my finger grazes the notebook, her eyes widen and she uses her hand to stop me from reaching, and tugs on my arm. Hard. I groan in frustration. This girl sure is annoying and unlike those I’ve dealt with before. I flail my arms, trying to get away, not sure how to fight off a girl as I’ve most certainly, never had to do that before.
And then
And then my mask is pulled off.
“Shit.” is all I can say as I stare at the girl in front of me in shock. The room is silent for a second and everything comes back alive again and I begin to put my mask back on. Sara, however, beats me to it. She reaches and takes off the other half of the mask quickly, jumping a bit to do so because of our height difference.
“What the-”
“I-” I pause as I try to think of what to say. “Just so you know, I don’t like the prince. we’re not gay. I mean, i dont know if he’s gay. I’m not. I like girls. I-” I stop again as I realize I’m babbling. And I never babble, Haven does. But not me. I sigh again and pull off my wig and pins and shake my head to reveal my dark curls, knowing that there is no use lying. “So yeah... I’m a guy…”
Sara blinks several times and I glimpse a smile forming on her lips, before she covers her face. “O-kay. I believe you.” She giggles. “I mean if you and the prince were gay it shouldn't be my business and I don't have a say in that. Love is love. I won't tell anyone if that's what you're afraid of. I just...okay so where is the real haven and why are you here? Not that it isn't welcome but this is a selection and they were looking for females only. How were you able to even get here without being suspicious?”
I sigh as I try to process all the questions she throws onto me.
I cock my head to the side and look at the girl in front of me. “Haven’s my sister. She’s... she’s in love with a guy who’s a five and we’re fours and” I pause to sigh as i run my hand through my hair. “obviously our parents didn’t approve. And because she’s stubborn and impulsive, she randomly decided to apply for the selection to prove a point that ‘even if the prince asks me to marry him, I’ll still choose Angelo’. Angelo’s her guy. And of course, because life is a joke, she gets selected! And she finally realizes what she has done and starts panicking because she doesn’t want to come at all. We told her to just come and go after the first day but she’s so scared that Angelo will pull some sacrificial shit and go away or something so that she won’t have to live a life of a five... or our parents may do something while she’s away... long story short…” I trail off and gesture around me. “I pulled the sacrificial shit and mulaned my way in to save her.” I laugh drily. “And as to how I got here. Well, good thing Haven and I have similar eyes. Makeup and a wig helped. And I dismissed my maids and well skipped everything and tried not to talk to anyone…”
Sara looks at me as she listens to my story and as I finish, she looks down. “Until you threw the heels and met me.” She says quietly, hugging herself. Her voice quivers as she says, “y-you're such a great brother. And I could've ruined the whole thing. I could've made things worse.” She looks back up at me. “I'm sorry. I'm glad you're here instead of Haven. She really is lucky to have you as a brother.”
Deciding to lighten up the situation, I wave hand to dismiss her praise. “nahh, i did it only so she would change her account description to ‘I love my brother’” I tell her with a gentle smile and then I notice she looks… sad? “Wait. Why do you look sad? Are you crying?” I pause as I try to think of a way to cheer her up. “Okay this is not what I imagined when a girl pulls me into her room and locks us in it.” I tell her with a smirk.
“Well,” Her cheeks still pink as she wraps her arms around my neck and whispers. “What did you imagine would happen?” Before I can react, she raises an eyebrow as she starts to pull away, smirking, “Because I never imagined pulling a guy dressed up as a girl into my room and locking us together.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m Hardin, by the way. I imagined....” I pause for a dramatic effect. “Well, I can’t tell you coz I’m afraid your head is going to explode from all the blushing if I did.” I wink at her and I stand up. “And I also did not imagine my face to be full of makeup.” I look in the direction of her restroom. “Anything I can borrow? Not sure if I can continue this conversation looking like this.”
She ends up lending me some face stuff as I try to wash away the makeup. I also drastically want to get out of my dress and so we ended up going to my room so I can change back into more comfortable.
And as I get changed in my own bathroom, my mind goes to the girl sitting out there in my room. And for some reason, I feel a bit nervous.
But Hardin Hart has never been nervous because of a girl.
What’s happening to me?
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soda-drabbles · 4 years ago
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Name : Valentine's Chocolates
Pairing : Arin Hanson x Reader
Type : Fluff
I don't really see fics that include mr. big cat often so I decided to make one myself! Hope you enjoy!
Today was your first Valentine's day with Arin since you two have been dating. Honestly, you didnt even realize it and treated it as a normal day. Arin on the other hand had been acting a little suspicious. Suspicious as in he was more 'smiley' than average and kept looking like he was about to bust. The guy had to have been hiding something, right?
On the couch, where you both laid watching a movie, is when you actually confronted him about it. Of course, the sneaky man held his secrets. Not well, may I add.
“I absolutely have no clue what you're talking about.” The man beside you held a cheeky grin whilst having his arm draped around your shoulder.
With a pout, you tested and poked him. “Bullshit.” You accused, giving the suspicious man a hard look. The man couldn't exactly look you in the eye, that hard grin stretching even wider. “Arin!”
He then raised his hands definitely, stifling a laugh that caused the burly man's shoulders to shake. “Fine!” Arin said in a jokingly defeated manner. “Fine, but you have to close your eyes and wait first, okay?”
Still skeptical, you cocked a brow. “Arin, I swear to god-”
“Look, just trust me. Close your cute lil eyes and I'll be back in one second.” He insisted and looked at you expectantly, supposedly waiting for those eyes to be shut.
You couldn't help but grumble at the cute remark but nevertheless, the eyes went shut. Your ears caught what sounded like light fumbling, as if he was moving things around.
“Alright,” His faded voice called from the other room and returned to the livingroom, followed by his footsteps. His voice sounded a little..nervous? Which confused you since you've never known the grump to get all nervous about anything ever. Man literally downs anything edible without a thought for crying out loud.
The dark turned to light when he told you to open your eyes. It took a minute for your vision to adjust and you were face to face to what looked like a heart shaped box that was decorated in hues of fluid shades of pink and red. There was even a light pink ribbon that was neatly tied around the box, giving it that fancy romantic appeal.
With eyes slightly wide and full of surprise, you turned to look at Arin who was awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck and held a sheepish smile. “I know its like, the most cliche of any gift ever but I figured that we could share them together, yknow?” He suggested and slowly looked out of the corner of his eye to face your reaction.
In awe, your features softened and you couldn't help but let out a breathless chuckle. You couldn't help but feel so lucky. He got this for you, and you alone. You wanted to hold the box as tight to your chest as you could. Instead of doing that, you picked it up and brushed your fingers against the ribbon.
With a teasing grin on your face, you peered up at the nervous man and a chuckle left your lips. “God, I never thought you could be so damn cheesy.” Which was followed by a laugh from both you and Arin, who let the anxiety deflate from him.
“Im not,” He defended himself after laughing, “I just..thought it'd be nice to celebrate, yknow?”
At that thought, your heart immediately collapsed when your realized you forgot today was indeed Valentine's Day and hadn't got him anything as a result. A frown replaced the smile you once had when your eyes gazed at the thoughtful gift, feeling immediately guilty that Arin was presentless.
Immediately noticing this, Arin moved closer with a concerned look in his eyes. “Woah, hey.” His tone went softer and he brought his arm around you once more, pulling you in close. “Whats the matter?”
With a deep sigh, you lean into him. He was always so comforting. Like a big teddy bear. “I..didn't realize what day it was and now you don't have a gift and-”
He stopped you mid sentence. “Listen, you're all the gift a man needs. Besides, I got this so we could share so technically we both did get a gift either way.” He pulled you in tighter.
Your lip tugged, smiling against his chest. “I guess you're right. I'll out gift you next year though.”
“i'Ll oUtGiFt YoU nExT TiMe tHoUgH.” Arin teased and mocked you in a shitty impression, nuzzling into you playfully.
With a snort, you playfully shoved him off. “Come on, stop!” Your laugh passed easily. “You know damn well that's not what I sound like at all.”
Sometime after the playful exchange, you guys finally decided to dig into the chocolates. Damn, they were pretty good. They were also as good as they were messy, leaving you bound to have some chocolate left on your fingers and face.
Without a warning, your face was suddenly peppered by Arin's undying amounts of kisses. You tried to keep your cool at first but slowly you went from smiling to just plain laughing. “What the hell are you doing, dude?”
He looked to you as if it was a dumb question, “I'm eating chocolate, duh.”
Slowly you looked down and found some chocolate remaining on your chin and cheek, only causing you to get embarrassed. “ohmygod- Why didn't you tell me?” You muttered as your hands fumbled for something to wipe the muck off with. Arin simply held your hand in place and finished what he started, pulling away when he was done. “Cause it tastes better this way~”
Your eyes gazed wide at him, cheeks flushed. Your lips curled into a smile as you playfully shoved him. “Jesus, I can't with you.”
(This is my first actual 'x reader' fic so I hoped that you enjoyed. If you have any suggestions or advice, my ask box is open! :) have a nice day!)
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ladymelissaduthe · 4 years ago
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challenge #5 (part 2)
aka fireworks (aka clownery and delusions luv) 
a/n: i jwu after 3 hours of sleep and edited this. this is a particularly spicy one featuring Felicity and Arin. Full disclosure, I needed a drink to write like half of this RP AHAHHDKJNKD #dumbbitchjuice Thank you @arin-schreave and @/felicity-graham aka Anna for these RPs. I love you ma’m you’re doing amazing. Link is in the aka title as usual for the doc for easier reading. Enjoy the clownery of part 2 of the ball and keep your eyes peeled for part 3 (5845 words)
I give my laptop’s camera another twirl, seeing my Mama and Grammy’s jaws drop as I feel the weight of my gown catch what little air it could.
“Prettier than an orange blossom in your Papaw’s Orchard.” My Grammy’s voice rings from the speaker, her expression looking quite pleased with my dress.
I actually got ready faster than I thought it was gonna take me, my maids having done amazing fast work with my hair and make up. After they finished and fixed what they needed to fix, I had asked my maids for a moment to myself so I can videocall my family for this.
It was the first look anyone’s got of me in my dress, and I can’t help but smile at how beautiful it was.
“Blue really is your color darlin’.”
Blue, almost Lilac.
“You look every bit a princess should look.” My mama says as she seems to be leaning closer to their computer screen, probably to get a closer look.
When my name was announced a couple of months ago, I think the only person more excited than I was about the Selection was my Mama. It made her so proud that I had a chance of being a Princess, she told everyone in her circle of friends 5 minutes after I was called and was running around the house.
It reminded me of the days when I did those little pageants in Orleans. Mama was always so supportive with the dresses she made for me, teaching me how to walk and curtsey. She had dreams for me, that’s a fact I’ve known since I was tiny. Part of those dreams before was to settle down early before. Now I think she just wants me married.
“I was just talking with Betty, ya know your Aunt Betty, right honey? Anywhos, I was just talking with her about you and she was telling me how lovely you looked in your Selected pictures.” I hear Mama talk, going onto sharing how she was sharing with her friends about my experiences in the Selection—how far I’ve made it through. Saying that the prince must have definitely taken a liking to me.
Sometimes I wish I had the heart to tell her the truth.
Sometimes I worried about how she’d react if she found out that I cried after my first date with the prince, or what she’d say that I’ve only gone on one other date besides it.
I smile to her, smoothing down the embroidered blue fabric of my skirt, trying to play it coy.
Maybe it’s too early to tell her all of that.
“Well, Mama, I’m always trying to put my best foot forward.”
Not all hope was lost, things were progressing well with Arin at least. He wasn’t actually half-bad, if not just a little too serious. I was willing to wait and see this through, and I wasn’t going to give up on my chances with Arin or my chances of a fairytale.
“As you should! Oh honey, you’re never giving me all the details I wanna hear!” My Mama says before Grammy seems to push her to the side, which makes me giggle at the sight.
Grammy’s expression is a little funnier to see onscreen. “Oh, hush Caroline! Let the girl have a little privacy. She’s not 14 anymore, and you can’t spy on her from the living room window no more.”
I blink to the screen as I take a seat on my vanity, shaking my head at that memory.
I feel a small lump in my throat at another reminder that memory brings.
A day in the Spring, hot as ever in Orleans. 14 and feeling light as air as Daniel walked me back home from school, him holding a jacket over me to shield me from the sun and the heat— catching my mother’s eyes peaking through the curtains of one of windows.
“I digress, I digress. Can’t blame a mother being just a little curious with what her daughter’s been up to all the way in Angeles.” My mother says in her defense, and I force a smile onto my face again—swallowing that lump and pushing that memory to the back of my mind, putting it back in an imaginary box with Daniel’s name on it.
“A good southern woman doesn’t kiss and tell.” I reply before giving myself one last look into my mirror, smoothing my hair down and applying some perfume to my wrists, the scent of daisies filling the room. I tried to remain conscious of the time and my laptop’s clock was telling me that it time for me to make a move.
“Best think I should be heading down now. Wouldn’t wanna be fashionably late for the dinner.” I say to the camera, my eyes moving from my mirror to my screen to my mother and grandmother’s faces. Gosh, I still wish they were here with me right now.
“Be sure to smile for the cameras! Ah, I can’t wait to see all the pictures!”
“Don’t waltz all those boys into a stuper, Missy dear.” Grammy gives me a wink as she waves to the camera.
The corners of my mouth tilts up at the thought of dancing.
“I’ll call y’all tomorrow about what happens tonight. Give Daddy all my love when he gets home. Good night Mama, Good night Grammy!”  I say as my hand moves along the mouse pad to end the call, and I close my laptop. Turning my head as I hear a knock on my door.
Perfect timing.
My hand reaches to check my dress’ pocket if my emergency kit was inside and I feel the rectangular case in it already. Never gonna know what I’m going to need tonight.
I push my seat away from the desk and stand, walking over to my door opening it to find my escort on the other side of the door.
The walk to the Great Hall was actually quite exciting, my escort was a nice young fella named Phillip. Apparently, all the Selected ladies had a guard as their escort for the night—a welcomed part of the job according to him.
We converse a bit as we walk down and I hold onto his arm like any girl with an escort should. It actually reminded me of all the debuts and cotillions I attended and planned—even my own cotillion when I was 18. Those dances and events needed an escort too, and mine was always… the same person.
A small crowd started to form outside the dining hall, everyone looking finely dressed in their gowns and tuxedos. Some Selected girls, others were probably guests of the Royal Family.
I look around the crowd as my guard guides me close to the entrance, scanning for familiar faces amongst it.
We stop close to the entrance. Phillip says that he’ll be right back for me saying that he’ll just be double checking with another guard about the events of tonight and what time they’d start letting everyone into the hall for dinner. I give him a quick smile, nodding and still scanning the room.
Everyone looked so beautiful tonight. It made me want to sigh—this Ball was grander than anything I’ve ever attended or planned in the past. Oh gosh, I wonder what the Great Hall looked like right now since it was the night time.
As I look around, I realize the closest person to me was familiar.
Felicity Graham.
Her dark hair was up in a gorgeous bun. Her ecrue off-the-shoulder dress looked something straight out of a runway. She looked like she stepped off a runway, what with being so statuesque. She was rocking on her heels, glancing around every few seconds or so.
I debate with myself for half a second if I should talk to her. There really wasn’t any harm in doing so. She couldn’t be as bad as the whispers I’ve heard about her. Plus she was Jackson’s sister. No harm in giving her a complimenting, right?
I smile in her direction and say to her, “You look pretty as a Magnolia in May, Miss Felicity.”
“I’m sorry?” is the first thing she says as she looks to me. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. I try to maintain my smile as I watch as she relaxes a bit. “Oh, it’s you.”
She gives me a onceover before she meets my eyes again.
I clasp my hands in front of me and her response makes me think that she might not know who I am, which is reasonable. I don’t think I would… research on any girl linked to my ex.
I decide to introduce myself, knowing fully well that we’ve never really spoken to each other in the past.
“I’m Missy, from Orleans.” I say, trying to channel my friendliest smile. “You look great! I love how the fabric of your dress looks like it can catch the wind just right.”
Her dress indeed was a gorgeous one, the kind that moved just right when someone walked.
“I know who you are, Missy.” Felicity replies before glancing down at her dress, then looking back up at the hint of a smile on her lips. “Are you sure you don’t have the wrong Graham?”
The wrong Graham?
I blink at her statement, a tad confused. But I still feel myself smile just a bit, remembering my conversation with Jackson earlier today.
“Is there a right or wrong Graham I should be speaking with?” I ask.
“You’re already speaking to her.” Felicity’s eyes flit away for a moment again, before she asks me “So… How have you and Arin been getting on?” the amusement in her tone was kind of clear.
“Oh,” a small laugh that sounded more awkward than I liked escapes me. I don’t quite know how to answer Felicity correctly. Partly because of Arin, partly because I didn’t want to say anything that could offend her.
I, of all people, should know the right etiquette for treating ex-fiancées. I wanted to say something that wouldn’t let in too much but I also didn’t want to lie about my less than ideal position in the Selection.
I find myself nodding once. “He kind of grows on you, to be honest.” I lift a shoulder up. “Guess I still wanna get to know him better though.”
I wasn’t lying. I was quite interested in getting to know better. Maybe tonight I’d have the chance to. I can only hope my answer satisfies Felicity’s curiosity.
She looks like she’s holding back a smirk.
“Right… Arin. Yes, he does.” Felicity rocks on her heels again, she seems anxious about something. “So, how do you feel about other people you’ve met so far?”
Her question makes me scan the area again, hoping to ground my answer onto someone, maybe even see a particular person’s face but I don’t really catch anyone familiar save for some of the other Selected girls.
“It's been lovely meeting everyone here. The girls are sweetest, it's kind of like having sisters I've never had. Have you gotten to talk to the other girls?”
Felicity looks around, surveying the girls around us and lets out a sigh. I’m not sure if it was a sigh of disappointment or something else.
“I’ve talked to a few of them. None too noteworthy…” she says before her smile returns to her face. “What about Wylan… or say Jackson? I imagine you must have run into him by now.”
“Wylan, I think I've only met him during his birthday party a few days back.” I tilt my head, trying to sum up all the good things about Jackson—especially since I was talking to his sister.
“I've run into Jackson plenty of times actually. It's been nice to talk to him whenever he drops by here.” I feel my smile soften at thought of all the kindness he’s shown to me lately. “He's been such a huge help with the community engagement project I proposed too.”
Felicity nods, “So he’s only helpful?”
“Oh no, not just that!” I shake my head immediately. I didn’t want Felicity to think that I thought her brother was just helpful. No, Jackson was caring and had the biggest heart around here, plus he has a voice I could listen to all day.
The song he sang earlier in my head rings in my head. Maybe the night holds a little hope for us dear.
Um, nope. I didn’t want to say any of that out loud.
When I think I had the right description, I still find myself tripping over my own words.
“He’s been nothing but genuinely sweet and kind to me! I like to think that he’s one of my closest friends here.” I punctuate the end of that with a little laugh, aware that I wasn’t doing a very good job describing him.
She seems to look at the floor, a small smile on her face as she nods before taking a deep breath. “Good.”
Gosh, why was I so bad at this? Still, I can’t help but think again to the soundcheck earlier today.
I think Jackson’s real performance later was something I couldn’t wait to happen.
“Can’t wait to hear him play something later. He already sounded really great a while ago.” I say before I take another glance, wondering where Jackson was before looking back to Felicity. She looked like something was troubling her. I felt compelled to ask her, wondering if my gut feeling was right.
“You okay, Miss Felicity?”
A big smile appears on her face as she answers me.
“Of course I am. It’s just the jitters.” Her smile doesn’t falter.
Something I learned here in the palace was to never pry to deep, so I simply smile back at Felicity—trying my best to give her a reassuring look.
“Now don’t let those jitters scare you too much!” My left hand goes over looking for my Grammy’s ring on my right. Only remembering that I wasn’t wearing it tonight. Maybe for the better. My left hand settles with fiddling with my bracelet on my wrist. “I hope you enjoy yourself tonight, it is Independence Day after all.”
She nods, “Happy Independence Day, Missy. I hope it’s everything you imagined it would be.”
I suddenly hear my name being called, and see my guard coming up to my side telling me that we were starting to head in two minutes. I give him a friendly nod and a thank you before turning back to Felicity.
“You too Miss Ma’m! It was very nice talking to you. Again, I love your dress.” I gesture to her dress again—maybe wanting to ask my maids for a dress similar to it—then my guard clears his throat to remind me that we should get going, which earns him a nod from me.
Phillip starts to lead me away, but I give Felicity one last smile. “Have fun!”
-------
The night moves faster than I realize it does.
The last time I danced this much was back in my 18 Roses on my 18th birthday party, back then dancing with 18 personally picked men who each gave me a rose and a dance each. The first rose back then was obviously my Daddy, and I don’t think I’d ever forget the look on his face when we were dancing to Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You.
Both occasions still left me feeling more than just a little tired.  
Maybe it was all the dancing I’ve done with who knows how many people, maybe it was the waiting at the sides as I occasionally checked the stage and looked around if Jackson was about to start setting up.
I wanted to wait and standby so I could catch his song again, wanting to hear him singing it again.
Maybe the night holds a little hope for us.
The chorus of the song not leaving my head even if I tried to forget it. It wasn’t the only thing I couldn’t get out of my head.
So I waited.
And danced with some more people who asked me to dance when they approached me. I had no complaints about it, I missed dancing actually.
I also did the Toktik Savage dance routine with a younger guest at the party who was just as excited as I was when it started playing on the speakers.
I’m a savage, classy boujee ratchet—the whole routine.
By the end of that, I was in need of a touch up so I decided to leave the Great Hall for five minutes, hoping that I wouldn’t miss Jackson’s ((👀)) performance while I was gone.
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t actually speed walk to the nearest powder room.
I take a minute to pat my forehead with my emergency kit’s blotting paper and dust myself with a little powder to get the shine off, dab a bit of the rouge from the pan to brighten up my complexion.
Once I’m satisfied, I give myself a final onceover with the powder room’s mirror.
Why was I in such a rush to get back?
I sigh to myself and press the heel of my palm against my forehead.
I must have really just wanted to get back to dancing, that’s it.
I look at the tiny little compact case in my hands and close it, ready to go back.
The music from the Great Hall was playing faintly as I go through the powder room’s door and I breathe a sigh of relief when the song playing doesn’t sound like Jackson’s song.
I probably should get back soon if I didn’t wanna miss it.
I take a few steps down the hallway, Jackson’s song playing over and over in my head as I walk.
I don’t expect to bump into someone else as I make my way back, most especially that someone being Arin Schreave.
“Hi Arin.” I greet him with a smile, knowing fully well we haven’t spoken since our date at the pool where he taught me how to swim. Since then I haven’t had the chance to talk to him.
Maybe this was my chance to… get to know him better. I mean, I was here to do that, right?
He seems distracted as I greet him, only responding half a second late that someone was talking to him. Arin looks up to me.
“Oh, Missy. Hi.”
I take in his appearance, realizing that he looked, for lack of better word, disheveled.
His hair was roughed up and his bow tie looked almost undone. I’m not sure if I should comment on any of that.
Instead, I clasp my hands in front of me and ask, “Having a nice night so far?”
That seemed like a good way to ask him if he was alright.
The hallway wasn’t the best lit place, but I swear I could catch a blush on his face which only confuses me even more.
Arin then swallows.  
“It’s going well enough.”  He glances around the empty hallway. “How’s your night going?”
I maintain my smile. “Nothing but good times rolling for the whole night. Dancing is quite fun, ain’t it?”
Arin’s disheveled appearance still is something I wonder if I should bring up.
I wonder if he knows… if he looks like this right now. I try to test the waters by making a light remark about his undone bow tie.
“Guess you’ve had enough fun to almost undo your bow tie.”
He blinks in surprise, and my hunch appears to be right. He didn’t know. His eyes attempt to glance down.
“Oh… I’m not sure how that happened.” He says before he reaches his hands up to his bow tie.
“If you don’t mind, I think I have a hack or two to make sure your tie doesn’t become undone for the rest of night.” I point to his bow tie, as I offer him my friendliest expression. “Only if you let me, of course.”
I loved helping tie bow ties. It was a fun little thing I did whenever a groomsman struggled with his tie for a ceremony. A wedding proof bow tie knot was something most, if not all, wedding planners should know by heart.
Arin seems to pull his hands back and nods. “Sure…” He takes a deep breath and grimaces. “How bad does my hair look?”
I give him a quick smile at his agreement, stepping up to fully undo his bow tie and start from the beginning, talking as I started adjusting the ends.
“Well, it has seen better days. I can help you with that too in a bit.” I laugh a bit, glancing to his hair. I make sure to put my thumb between the knot and his throat—making sure that it was going to be a comfortable fit.
That earns me a grown from Arin as I watch him reach up and pat down his hair. “Thank you for doing this, Missy.” He glances down to me.
His groan makes me laugh and I tilt my head in amusement.
“It’s the least I could do.” I reply, focusing more on the specific knot I had in mind. I cross and tug the ends making sure things would be properly spaced. “Lots of photographers back in the Great Hall, wouldn't want them getting any bad pictures of you.”
He glances down to his watch. “Thankfully they should be clearing out here pretty soon. Then we can get to the fun dancing.”
“Fun dancing, now I can get behind that very much.” I grin up to him, tugging at the last end I needed to pull at and gesturing to it when I’m satisfied. “One twisted knot with an extra back end to prevent any unwanted loose bows. Adds dimension but the most dance-proof knot. If you wanna take it off later, just pull at the back fold over here.”
I had to hand it to myself, I did a pretty good job with his tie. It’s been a while since I tied one those, but I’m glad that I still remembered how to.
“Oh. Thank you.” He reaches up to touch his bow tie. “I’ll keep that in mind for any more.. dancing I do tonight.”
“Best to keep that in mind indeed.” I nod before I turn my attention to his hair, putting my hand on my chin.
“As for your hair…” I shake my head as I look down the hallway for any mirrors close by so he could see for himself. Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be any nearby mirrors—and the powder room wasn’t close by anymore. “Do you know if there are any rooms with mirrors ‘round here?”
“Uh, I think the sitting room has one.” Arin glances down the hallway before looking back at me with a confused expression. “Why?”
I blink, forgetting that idea. Being alone with him in a room didn’t sound quite right.
“Just thought you’d wanna see the finished product with a much much bigger mirror.” I reply before reaching into my dress’ pocket and pull out my emergency kit, a small case that to Arin probably looked like a pocket mirror except when I open it, it has everything you’d ever need for a party or a wedding emergency: powder, blush, blotting paper, a band air, some thread and needles stuck to it, tiny scissors… and lastly a tiny tiny comb.
“It’s a good thing I brought the emergency kit then.” I smile down on it.
Arin lets out what seemingly is a genuine laugh. “Are you always this prepared?”
“You don’t have to get ready if you stay ready.” I laugh before taking the comb out and placing the kit back in my pocket. “I've planned over a hundred events, trust me-- this emergency kit is nothing.  Never know when a dress rips or someone needs a little touch up in between pictures.”
In fact the kit I had was only a scaled down version of my fanny pack of emergency tools for weddings. Oh gosh, weddings were disasters waiting to happen.
Arin chuckles, “Well, I guess if anyone ever actually tries to make it down the aisle with me I know who to call.”
I think this is the first time I’ve ever heard Arin bring up weddings on his own. It was actually quite amusing to me that he said so. Oh gosh, I can’t believe I was actually having a nice conversation with him.
“I'm sure a lucky girl is going to want to make it down the aisle with you.” I giggle as I reach up with the comb and fix a couple of strands of his hair. As I work on his hair, I can’t help but feel like it’s hard for myself to imagine myself in that position—at least not yet, but progress was being made that made me hopeful that I still had a chance with Arin.
“Do I keep the side part dominantly on the left side?”
“Left side.” He answers, smiling at me.
I nod, returning a similar smile. “You got it, Mr. Schreave.” I go back to work, easily able to reach up to his hair with my heels on. I still really wonder how his hair got to this.
“Is it okay to ask why you look like you just walked through a hurricane?”
Arin clears his throat. “I’ve just had a lot of running around… there’s a lot of people I’ve had to see.”
Ooooo, must have been a lot of running and meeting people then.
I hum at that as I smooth his side part down. “Of course. Big party with all these guests and well… us girls. Everyone would wanna get a piece of that action.”
The comb runs through a few more strands of his hair, which admittedly was the first thing I noticed when we first met. He did have nice hair.
I pat his hair lightly when I get his hair to look just right, like the way I’ve noticed he’s worn it before.
“And…” I give his hair a last minute pat, then meet his eyes. “your hair is read for the cameras again.”
Arin groans again. “If I never saw another camera again, I’d be a happy man.”
“Hey,” I laugh, amused as ever with his sentiments against cameras. I put the comb back in my emergency kit and close it with an audible click. “You can be a happy man even with cameras around. On the bright side, there'll be lots of pictures to remember stories from tonight.”
He seems to grimace at that, but he suddenly reaches up and I feel his hand push some strands of my hair behind my ear. I guess I didn’t notice that earlier.
I curl my lips in at that contact, suddenly feeling all the more conscious that we were alone in the hallway together.
Still, I wasn’t going to let this opportunity go. This was still my chance with Arin.
I thought my dream of this Selection being a fairytale with a prince were ruined back during our first date but—maybe I was wrong.
I offer Arin a small smile and a “Thank you.”
He doesn’t pull his hand back from my ear, his eyes looking me over.
I feel more conscious now more than ever with his hand still there.
What was he doing?
No, what was I doing?
Still, it felt nice. It felt familiar.
Like something I haven’t felt ever since Daniel and I were still together, like the weird little feeling in your chest when you’re 14 and unsure of what to do next after an accidental brush of hands.
It’s been so long since then.
And it feels like one of those scenes in the movies, right before the couple did some grand old romantic gesture where the princess’ foot would pop or there’d be butterflies in the main character’s stomach.
Could this be it for me?
It has to be. It just has to be.
I find myself leaning closer to Arin.
“I think I want to kiss you.” He murmurs as I feel his hand go to my cheek.
My eyes widen at him saying it out loud.
I wasn’t used to this with other people, but I was in the Selection for this very reason.
I had to start somewhere.
I wanted to fall in love here.
This was a start.
This could be the start of something I’ve wanted back for so long, at least prove to myself that after all this time I wasn’t broken after what happened with Daniel.
I find myself nodding and leaning closer to Arin, wanting him to close the gap.
“Is that okay?” he breaths out, and his eyes seem to study me. I can’t believe he’s still asking.
My face flushes the longer we stay this close and wait for something to happen—nerves I didn’t know existed making themselves known now.
I remind myself of my Mama’s hopes that I’d end up falling in love with a prince…
I remind myself of why else would I be here in the first place if not to get a fairytale romance with a prince…
…because I don’t think I’ve ever come close to that with Arin until now.
Maybe this will convince me that I actually like Arin this way and erase all my doubts.
A kiss is all it could take to realize the truth. Please work.
So I manage to softly say a “yes”.
It’s the kind of scene in the movies when you should feel fireworks go from your stomach to your heart— bathing you in a warm feeling like how when you see fireworks light up the sky on New Year’s Day.
It should feel like fireworks.
That’s how you know things are going to work.
Daniel felt like fireworks.
When Arin leans in closer, I reach up to hold his face too— then I feel him press his lips to mine.
It should feel like fireworks.
But it doesn’t.
I don’t feel anything.
I try to wait for a beat and see, maybe it just needs some time to kick in?
And I’m not sure if I imagine it, but I think I can hear the music in the Great Hall from a distance.
Maybe the night holds a little hope for us, dear.
Jackson.
That thought is something I push to the back of my mind as I pull away from Arin, reaching up to gently remove his hand from my face.
“I'm... uh— I'm sorry. That—” I cut myself off, trying to process what just happened. It felt like everything was crashing down onto me.
Arin wasn’t the one for me.
“Was that... Did that feel... um..? Weird for you?” I try to manage out a coherent thought, while trying my best to not make Arin angry or upset.
Arin takes a step away from me and clears his throat.
“I— I’m sorry.” He says before chuckling nervously. Well, at least he didn’t seem upset either. “Missy, you’re great. I just.... I don’t think we need to do that again.”
OH THANK GOD.
I blush from the embarrassment of this entire situation but nod my head a couple of times in agreement. It was stupid of me to keep on pushing the idea that Arin and I were going to work out that way.
“No, I don’t think we’d need a repeat of that... for... like, ever.” I blink, hearing myself say that out loud. My voice suddenly goes up an awkward octave trying to damage control that.
“NOT—” I catch my tone as my hands go up, modulating my voice and remain calm in this situation. “Not that I don’t think you’re great. In fact, I really do hope at least one of the girls here makes you very happy! I think I’m just not one of ‘em.”
I could let the ground swallow me whole, and I’d thank it. But Arin was still a friend, and well he seemed like he needed more friends now more than ever.
Arin’s expression seems sympathetic, like he gets the situation.
He holds his hands up. “No- I get it. I really do. You’re wonderful but I’m not sure we would be wonderful together.” He glances towards the doors that lead into the ballroom. “I think we should pretend this didn’t happen…”
Now that’s something I can get behind.
“Agreed. I completely agree.” I make a swiping motion over my forehead, trying to not let the disappointment ruin this moment. I try to smile. “Consider it memory-wiped buddy.”
No matter how uneasy I felt about myself right now—I wasn’t going to ruin it.
“You go back first or me?” I ask.
He lets out a nervous laugh, “I think there’s no harm in us walking back together.”
I snap a finger and finger gun point to him, “Sure, do I still have to hold your arm?”
The joke sounds like a sad attempt of me trying to get my mind off my ruined hopes for this Selection, which honestly it is.
That seems to make Arin frown a little.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“Don’t worry, I want to. It’s the proper Belt Belle thing to do, afterall.” I tilt my head to the door, trying to not be sad and enjoy this new discovery. I wasn’t going to cut ties with Arin just because I know he wasn’t boyfriend material for me. “Shall we?”
He chuckles at that then answers me in possibly the worst attempt of a southern accent I’ve ever heard.
“Yes ma’am.” He says as he holds out his arm for me to take and we walk back to the Great Hall together.
Once we get back, Arin and I part ways with a shared laugh, and it’s a nice consolation to know that at least we could still be friends despite everything that just happened.
I couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach though. As much as I wanted to stay in the Great Hall and enjoy the party—I couldn’t stop the wave of emotions that I was trying to process right now.
To my right was a glass door opened for everyone to go through if they wanted to go through the gardens—and I needed as much space from people as I could right now.
I didn’t want anyone see me like this right now. I just needed five minutes to myself.
So I manage to go through the door and try my very best to keep it together as I picked up a part of my dress’ skirt off the ground to move faster to the gardens.
There was only one place I know no one would be, close enough for me to sort through this lump of emotions.
The greenhouse.
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made-me-deep-blue · 5 years ago
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kamilah x mc (magic mike au) - the exquisite
I’ve been watching Magic Mike recently, and I got really inspired at some point, so here you go! A small one shot, enjoy x
Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Amy Ashryver)
Word Count: 1,129
Summary: Kamilah gets all hot and bothered when Amy arrived at her apartment late after work. Amy decides to help Kamilah blow off some steam by reenacting how they first met.
-
3.00am, Kamilah’s apartment, New York City
Kamilah watched the wine swirl in her glass. The predatory irises followed the movements of the red waves lapping at the rim of her glass as she took a sip. New York City nightlife was a view to be seen from where she lived, better than the one that she could see from her office which was only a few floors below.
Just as she was about to get more impatient with the time, the elevator doors opened, revealing Amy Ashryver, her sworn brother Adrian’s assistant and her very own lover. A fellow non-human as well.
“You’re fashionably late, darling,” Kamilah drawled, setting down her glass and eyed Amy’s outfit for her shift. She was wearing all Gucci tonight; an oversized floral silk blouse, along with a tweed mini skirt, finishing off with a pair of suede sandals. Kamilah silently wondered how Adrian managed to concentrate with his assistant looking like that.
“I had to settle the administration matters before I end my shift, Kamilah,” Amy purred, dropping her coat off on one of the dinner table chairs. She strutted towards the vampire, who was now standing at the top of the steps to her bedroom area.
Kamilah gripped Amy’s waist and pulled her flush against her own body. “You know how impatient I get whenever you come home late in something so irresistibly sexy.”
“Impatient, you say,” the Bloodkeeper playfully shoved Kamilah onto a nearby chair, bracing herself against the arms of the chair. Amy’s lips were brushing teasingly against Kamilah’s.
“Let’s reenact how we met, hm?”
-
(FLASHBACK)
3.00am, The Xquisite, New York City
Kamilah somehow regretted coming to the club after a long day at work. It was a rare occasion like this for someone as popular as herself to appear at a strip club after work. She wasn’t afraid of ruining her reputation, but this...wasn’t her place to be.
Adrian somehow bribed her into going there, after saying that he would be his treat at the bar. However, when Kamilah reached the entrance, she received a cheeky message from her sworn brother, telling her to ‘have fun’ on her own as he had work to do. She knew him well enough to know his lies.
The vampire silently sipped on her Scotch (neat) as she eyed the emcee on stage. They were announcing a group of performers who will be bringing the all-women club-goers, a classic performance.
The lights dimmed. The beat dropped.
There at the center of the spotlight, were two women. One was wearing a silk button up shirt, a few buttons popped to reveal her caramel skin underneath the material. She had golden body chains underneath her shirt, which was half tucked out of her skinny jeans.
Then, Kamilah’s eyes fell to the other woman standing next to the dancer. And everything else fell away for a moment.
By the gods, this woman was hot.
Both of them were attractive for sure, but Kamilah could not stop looking at this woman’s face. Sharp, crisp jawline, angled features, skin tone she could only describe as ‘light’. Her hair was amber, and she had freckles on her cheeks and on her exposed chest and gods she had her shirt off.
The pale-skinned woman was sitting on a chair with a very seductive pose, wearing a Calvin Klein sports bra and black, leather pants. Kamilah barely realised Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ playing, as the dancers rolled their bodies along the chairs’ back, somewhat mirroring each other’s movements. Like a mirror.
“That’s Amy and Arin. Great ladies. They do a lot of routines together, but they’ve been working quite hard on this one. Amy is Xquisite’s star in New York City,” Kamilah heard the bartender speak from her back.
The financial CEO watched the hypnotic sway of Amy’s hips, and her skilful dance moves, gliding across the stage with her fellow dance partner like water. She had never seen dancing this hypnotic ever since she was courted by courtesans in Egypt as well as in Rome while visiting with her cousin Cleopatra.
Amy had hopped off the stage, the crowd cheering as she made her way towards Kamilah, who went rigid when she realised what was going on.
“Hey man, just go for it,” the bartender chuckled. “Consider it an honour to be ‘courted’ by Amy herself. Many ladies want her on their bodies, you know.”
The Egyptian grumbled. “Ugh, fine.”
Kamilah sat down on the chair, behind was another lucky woman who was chosen by Arin from the crowd. Then, they worked their charm.
Amy spread Kamilah’s legs, pulling herself in between by bracing her arms on the vampire’s shoulders. The amber-haired girl then climbed onto the chair, caressing Kamilah’s cheek with an elegant hand, standing above her body. Next, she hopped off the chair and did a backward tumble, landing her hips against Kamilah’s and started to grind.
Thank god for the dark environment or else the crowd would see Kamilah’s expression. But she liked the move anyway.
Amy flipped her body and ground against Kamilah’s hips face to face, pulling her weight downwards and braced an arm on the floor. She brought Kamilah’s face closer with a slight nudge with her right leg.
Amy and Arin shifted their chairs so that Kamilah and the other woman could lay down side by side.
(END OF FLASHBACK)
“As much as our first meeting was to my taste, my love,” Kamilah swooped Amy into her arms and dropped her onto the bed. “I would very much like to enjoy our time now, together.”
Amy laughed, wrapping her arms around Kamilah’s neck, pulling her into a heated kiss. Both of them shrugged out of their clothes, thrown unceremoniously onto the marble-tiled floor. “Anything you want, Kamilah. You can have me, I’m always here.”
The vampire’s growl rumbled against her neck, as a trail of fiery kisses went along her collarbone, to the valley between Amy’s breasts, to her navel...and lower…
“Oooohhhhh yeaahhhh,” Amy moaned, threading her fingers into Kamilah’s silky hair. Her tongue was gentle against her, mapping out Amy’s weak spots, and striking when the Bloodkeeper least expected it.
“God, Kamilah, don’t stop.”
All hints of amusement vanished from Kamilah’s red eyes, replaced with the haziness of lust and desire.
“As you wish, my lady.”
Amy’s fingers tightened in Kamilah’s hair as the latter devoured her. She leaned her head back, smiling as pleasure unfurled through her body.
For some reason, Ginuwine’s song rung in Kamilah’s ears.
Just once if I have the chance
The things I would do to you
You and your body
Every single portion
Send chills up and down your spine
Juice flowing down your thigh
She smiled and rode on the rollercoaster of pleasure.
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girls-scenarios · 6 years ago
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Daily Love
Idol: LE (EXID)
Prompt: Hello ! Could I request a scenario for L.E (EXID), where she does some daily vlog during a break and she introduces her girlfriend to the fans ? And how the rest of the group will react to it ! Have a good day !
Writer: Admin Kiwi
A/N: LE looks incredible in this comeback omg. Queen. Also I’m using her real name Hyojin in this. Hope you all enjoy and support Me&You! Also I used nicknames for their text names so: mommysol is Solji, ahn2 is Hani, shortie is Hyerin, maknae is Jeonghwa, and therealleader is LE.
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When Hyojin woke up on her first day off, she didn’t immediately think that she was going to reveal her relationship to her fans. Instead, she just laid in bed with her eyes still closed, soaking in the extra sleep that she’d so sorely missed while she was promoting until her phone rang, making her blink and sit up. Your name popped up on the screen, making her smile widely as she picked it up and cleared the sleep from her voice before answering your call.
“Good morning, baby,” she said, voice soft, reveling in your laugh on the other side of the line.
“It’s almost afternoon, Hyojin. Did you just wake up?”
“Hey, this is my first day off! I’m allowed to sleep in if I feel like it!”
“You know I’m just joking with you. But I called because I want to see you today.” At your words, her heart swelled, and she glanced at the clock. It was almost lunch time, so she stood up and stretched, shuffling over to her closet.
“I want to see you too. Should we meet up for lunch?”
“Lunch sounds amazing. There’s this new grill by my place I’ve been wanting to try out, are you down with that?”
“I’m always down for meat, you know me. I’m getting ready now, I’ll be over to pick you up soon.” You laughed again on the other side of the line, and she found herself grinning. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. I can’t wait to see you.”
It wasn’t until she’d hung up the call and already gotten ready, about to leave the house, when she remembered: she’d promised to do daily vlogs during the break. Her camera sat on the table, ready to go, and she quickly ran back over to it, biting her lip. She’d vlogged when she was with you before, but she usually either didn’t show you at all, or just showed you in passing, letting her fans think what they wanted to think. The two of you had been dating for quite a while now, so fans had seen the two of you together, but without her explicitly saying anything, most people just shrugged it off. She was thankful that her fans were the way that they were and let her live her life without interfering or getting upset. Still, as much as she knew she could do the vlog with you and not say anything, something courageous rose up inside her and she stared down at the camera.
Why shouldn’t she introduce you to the fans now? It was pretty common knowledge that she wasn’t straight, and she had a long-time fan base that was chill with just about everything. Now seemed like a good time, and as she picked up her camera bag and extra batteries, she swallowed and glanced down at it one more time. She’d run it by you first, but she really wanted to do it.
“Sounds like a fine idea to me,” you said as soon as she brought it up, shocking her.
“Really?” She asked, turning to look at you as the two of you walked down the road towards the grill, camera in her hands. “I thought you might be afraid of the fans or whatever.”
“Honestly I think people have had their suspicions for a while,” you said with a laugh, shrugging your shoulders. “I think we’re at that point in our relationship where people should know.” You reached over to loop your arm through hers, giving her a smile that she couldn’t help but return, heart jumping a bit. You were right, and the idea of finally showing you off to the world made a thrill run through her veins. With butterflies that she hadn’t felt in ages, she moved to turn on the camera.
“As long as you’re okay with it, then, I want to do it.”
At the grill, she realized that she wasn’t really doing anything different than usual. It had become so normal for her to be out with you in her vlogs that the portions of video showing the two of you talking, laughing, and eating weren’t anything new. She’d gotten a shot of the two of you holding hands while walking into the restaurant, but that was hardly enough to show you off to her fans. As she chewed on a piece of meat and looked across the table at you, she wondered what she could do in order to get it across that you were her girlfriend.
“Wanna go shopping after this?” Your voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she nodded slowly. Footage at the mall of the two of you joking around would be good. There was also an ice cream shop, and she could film something cute there. Plus, she needed new sandals for the summer.
“That sounds great. Are you in the mood for ice cream too?”
“When am I not in the mood for ice cream, babe,” you said, and her cheeks flushed slightly, the word making her smile as she thought about how her camera was recording everything. It was nerve-wracking, but... it made her happy too.
“Let’s go, then. Lunch is my treat.”
“Babe! Then I’m getting ice cream.”
-
The mall was perfect. She found herself getting lost in spending time with you, holding your hand with every chance she got and picking out outfits that she thought you’d love, playfully holding them up to you and getting you to model in them. She always loved putting random hats on your head, and today was no exception. She placed hats on your head and laughed when you whined and tried to put them back on her, and you threatened to push her into the fountain in the middle of the mall, even though both of you knew you’d never do it. It felt like a normal shopping trip with you, except that the camera was filming everything. The two of you took turns filming each other trying on outfits, and even modeled a couples outfit together that Hyojin promptly bought as soon as she saw how adorable it looked on both of you.
“We look like a real couple in these,” she said, grinning and wrapping her arms around you.
“We are a real couple,” you replied, but you were smiling too, and her heart was warm as you turned to place a quick kiss on her cheek. You were so perfect, and she loved you so much that she had to say it. So she did.
“I love you.”
You turned to look at her, sparkles in your eyes as you fixed her hair and raised your eyebrows. “That was random. But I love you too.” You were so close, so Hyojin turned to wink at the camera sitting on a rack outside the fitting room before pulling the curtain closed to kiss you on the lips. You let out a surprised squeak, but kissed her back, pulling away with a blush on your cheeks moments later, before anyone in the store suspected a thing.
“You’re just too pretty, you know that? I couldn’t help kissing you. I’ve missed you while I was away.” She was being serious and you could tell, smiling softly and pressing your forehead against hers, affectionately giving her one more kiss as you tangled your fingers together with hers.
“I know. I’ve missed you too.”
The ice cream shop was perfect too, and for a moment, she forgot she was filming, feeding you some of her ice cream and letting you feed her in return, her usually tough image flying out the window as she smiled softly at you and leaned her head on your shoulder, letting you coo over how cute she looked. She was so, so in love with you that nothing even mattered anymore. She could lose all her fans and still be happy, as long as she was with you. So she ignored the camera and just focused on loving you.
Later, on her way home, she reviewed the footage and felt her face heating up. It was super love-dovey but... it was true. And there was no turning back now. She was going to upload it.
-
After she edited and uploaded the video, she left her laptop behind and climbed into bed, grabbing her headphones and a book instead to distract herself. If she was honest, she was a little nervous about how everyone was going to react. Even if she doubted that there would be many negative reactions, it was only natural to worry, because she was revealing her love to you for the first time to the public. And she wanted her fans to love you as much as she loved you.
About an hour after the video was uploaded, she was distracted from her reading by her phone buzzing, alive with messages from her group chat. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the messages from her members, but she almost immediately started smiling.
mommysol: wow you’re brave. but you and (y/n) looked cute so I can’t even say anything. also the fans are super happy that their ship is cannon so like. i’m happy for you as your leader.
ahn2: I’m jealous! I want a girlfriend! Someone give me a girlfriend! I want to be happy like LE ;;
shortie: lol your image is ruined everyone is calling you soft now. also you’re both gross and in love.
maknae: I’m happy for you guys! The video was beautiful as always! Congrats on your love, also when are you proposing? Because I want to help!
Hyojin laughed out loud and shook her head, scrolling through their texts. She really had the best people around her. And although she wouldn’t admit it, she was relieved that all the messages were positive.
therealleader: Thanks girls! I appreciate all the support. Also Jeonghwa I’m not proposing anytime soon don’t spread rumors. And Hani, don’t you have a girlfriend?
ahn2: I have a girlfriend?
maknae: Awe :c
shortie: arin from oh my girl hani omg i can’t believe you forgot about her
ahn2: We aren’t dating Hyerin omg shut up
therealleader: lol I see what you did there
mommysol: all jokes aside, we love you, Hyojin :)
maknae: Smooches!
therealleader: I love all of you too! Smooches!
Her phone buzzed again, but this time it was from you, and her heart jumped.
my love: The video is beautiful and all the comments are so supportive. I might be crying.
therealleader: Don’t cry! I’ll have to come over there and make you stop!
my love: Then come over ;)
She laughed at the message, but quickly took off her headphones and jumped out of bed.
therealleader: Already on my way, you don’t have to tell me twice.
my love: You’re ridiculous, baby. But I love you.
She smiled, pulled on her hoodie and slipped into some shoes, already happy at the idea of falling asleep in your arms. Just like you and the girls had said, the comments coming in on her newest video were all positive, and she felt a bit like crying herself. But she held it back, a bounce in her step as she made her way over to your place, happy with her decision. She wouldn’t regret it, not ever. And now that the idea of proposals lingered in her mind, her heart swelled and she smiled like an idiot all the way to your place. Being in love was wonderful and she was lucky, because she knew you felt the same way.
therealleader: I love you too.
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arcaneapologist · 6 years ago
Text
Partners in Crime- Ch 6
Hey yall! Here's chapter 6. There's some character development and like. A hint of some egobang if you look at it in the right light! (on a03) 🖤🖤
It was the week of Halloween and Arin’s apartment was thoroughly decorated. He had jack-o-lanterns in the hall near his door and a giant spider with fake webbing hanging on it. Dan smiled as he let himself in. Over the past few weeks he’d grown much more comfortable around Arin, Commander, and Morte//mer, even if he didn’t know their real names. He could hear their laughter from the doorway and smiled to himself as he shrugged off his jacket before making his way to the kitchen. He was supposed to be here ten minutes ago for dinner, and his friends did not hesitate to tell him he was late.
“Hey guys!” He smiled and pulled out a chair. “So, do any of you have actual plans for Halloween or was decorating Arin’s apartment it?”
“We do! We’re going as Sonic characters! Arin is going to be Sonic himself, I’m going as Amy, and Suuu-” Holly looked slightly panicked as she almost gave away Suzy’s name. “Uh. Morte//mer is going as Knuckles!”
“Suuuu?” Dan laughed. “You wanna finish that name?”
“Nope. Not now Sexb//ang.” Suzy smiled and grabbed a fork. “Commander might tell you hers though.”
“Yes I will, because I'm not ridiculous.” Holly rolled her eyes affectionately. “My name is Holly.”
“That fits you. I like it.” Arin had gone silent when Dan plopped down in the chair next to him. “Hey Ar… Everything okay? You seem quiet.”
“Yeah, man…” He poked at his food. “Everything’s fine.”
“Okay…” Dan raised an eyebrow. “I think you’re full of shit, but okay.”
Arin smiled, and tried not to look at Dan, who was still staring him down. After a few seconds Dan grabbed some food and ate in silence. Suzy and Holly chattered about Halloween and where they were going. They tried to include Arin, too, but he only gave short answers. He had been fine until Dan mentioned Halloween plans, but Suzy and Holly knew why. Arin wanted to invite Dan, but he was worried he would find it dumb. Suzy glared at him, while Holly gave a slight nod towards Dan.
“Hey Dan,” Arin said quietly.
“What’s up, buddy?”
“We… Uhm. We still need a Tails for our group. Do you… Maybe, wanna do it?”
“Yeah!” Holly said. “We’re gonna go out to this bar that’s having a costume contest.”
“We’re hoping to win ‘Best group costume’" Suzy added.
“Please? I know he’s shitty and small, but like. There's no way we’ll win without Tails.” Arin stared at him, seeming to hold his breath.
“Sure!” Dan laughed. “I’ve never done a group costume before and I don't have any plans. So why not?”
Suzy and Holly stayed a little longer before they went home, leaving Dan and Arin at the table by themselves. They sat there playing on their phones in a comfortable silence. Arin had relaxed quite a bit since earlier. Dan yawned and glanced at the time on his phone, apparently it was only nine thirty, though it felt like midnight. He glanced over at Arin, who appeared exhausted himself. Dan wasn’t ready to go home, not yet at least. He’d made a promise with himself that he was going to try and treat Arin more like a best friend, and he’d kept it. Dan had also grown a lot closer to Arin than he had ever imagined, or intended, he would.
“Hey, Ar, do you wanna watch some tv or a movie or something?” Dan dropped his phone onto the table.
“Depends,” Arin leaned back and yawned. “What were you thinking?”
“Fuck. I dunno... How about Sailor Moon? I’ve never seen it before and I know it’s your favorite.”
“What?” Arin practically shouted, causing Dan to jump. “Dude it’s so good. We have to watch it. You go get the living room set up and I’ll make popcorn.”
He jumped up and rushed to his cabinets while Dan went into the living room, and dug around behind the couch. Arin’s apartment was tiny and had little to no closet space, so he did what he could with the space he had. He shook the blankets out and piled them on ‘his’ end of the couch and threw the pillows where Arin would be sitting. He kicked his shoes off, curled up on the couch, and wrapped himself in two blankets. When Arin came in he set the bowl of popcorn on the couch between them, tucked a leg under him, and pulled a pillow across his lap.
Dan and Arin knew every single thing the other would do as they got situated on the couch. This was how they had spent about four nights out of the week for the past month. Dan never thought he’d have this level of comfort and familiarity with someone again, but here he was. It was a routine, mundane and normal, but for the first time, possibly ever, Dan didn’t mind. Arin was trying to pull up crunchyroll and find the first episode when he noticed Dan smiling at him. Arin smiled back but Dan didn’t look away.
“Dude, why are you staring at me like that?” Arin turned his attention back to the TV.
“This is going to sound really dumb, but I’m just really.. Happy? Yeah, happy that you decided you wanted to work with me, you know?” Dan pulled the blankets tighter around himself. “Like. You could have said, ‘Fuck it. He’s on his own’ but you didn’t.”
“Y-yeah… I am too, bud.” Arin glanced at him nervously. Now would be a perfect time to come clean about everything. They’re already talking about it, but did Arin want to ruin his trust with Dan this quickly? He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “Hey Dan, can I talk to you about something?”
“Yeah! Go for it.” Dan turned his entire body towards him. He looked so happy and he’d become so content with Arin, Holly, and Suzy. Arin really didn’t want to ruin this, but it was now or never. The longer he put this off the worse it would be.
“Okay. So you know how I knew all of that information about you? And how I was doing someone ‘a favor’?” Arin tried to keep his breathing even and not seem panicked.
“Yeah… What about it?” Dan raised an eyebrow.
“Well. About ninety percent of what I told you those first few days was a lie.” Dan tried to interrupt but Arin kept talking. “The truth is, I ran into you on the subway intentionally and drug you with me to keep you hidden for a while, but you kind of fucked it up. That’s why I took you out of town for a few days. Someone was looking for you, but there was someone at Connect that didn’t want them to find you. So they asked me keep track of you  They asked me not to tell you and refused to tell me their name.”
“Okay… I can understand that. Why tell me now, though?” Dan didn’t seem angry, just confused.
“Because that’s not the end of it. When we came back, the threat was gone, or assumed to be gone. We’re still not entirely sure. Either way, I really enjoyed the weekend with you and didn’t want that to be the last time we spoke so… I kind of… Exaggerated what would happen to you if we didn’t?” Arin was afraid to look at Dan, so he kept his eyes on his lap.
“So… After that trip, there was no threat of death?” There was an edge to Dan’s voice.
“More than likely, no.” Arin whispered.
“Okay…” Dan crosses his arms over his chest. “And… What did Connect think of this?”
“They just… I told them we wanted to be work partners.” Arin snuck a glance at Dan, who looked angry, but not as angry as Arin thought he would.
“God, Arin. I wanna be furious, but I can’t.” Dan huffed. “Like. I’m angry that you lied, angry that you let it go for so long. But I also know that, whether you intended to or not, you actually have been protecting me this past month. You were right. I am awful at stealing things. I knew it was only a matter of time before I was either kidnapped, murdered, or arrested.”
“So… What now?” Arin asked.
“Well I haven’t left have I?” Dan sighed. “I told you I’m angry. Angrier than I’ve been in quite a while, honestly. That was a really shitty thing to pull, but I know you’ve been very open about our friendship and how you feel towards me. You’ve clearly cared about me if you went that fucking far, and you’ve become my best friend. I mostly believe you, but I’m Holly and Morte//mer to see if what you told me is true.”
“I’m sorry, Dan. I just didn’t know what to do, and then it never seemed like a good time to tell you.” Arin spoke barely above a whisper. Dan’s subtle anger was always unnerving to him. “I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t erase what I did, but I’m really sorry.”
Dan moved the popcorn and scooted across the couch. He pat Arin on the back, “It’s okay, Big Cat. I can tell you’re genuinely sorry. To be honest, I’m not nearly as angry as you probably think I am, nor as I should be.”
Arin smiled, “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Lets watch some Sailor Moon.”
Arin hit play on his laptop and settled back against the couch. He’d expected Dan to move back to his end but instead he stayed right beside him, cradling the bowl of popcorn. That conversation had gone far better than he’d ever hoped it would. Despite knowing it wasn’t how Dan typically reacted, he’d expected him to scream and yell. He had completely expected him to walk out and not come back. Dan just couldn’t find it in himself to be that angry though. For as awful a thing Arin had done, he had done so much more to help him. For the first time in years Dan felt like he belonged somewhere and like he had a family.
He could still feel Arin’s anxiety, though, and he leaned his shoulder against his. He tensed for a second, and then let himself relax. As the night went on, Dan leaned further and further against him. Arin was warm and soft and while he was reluctant to admit it, Dan loved cuddling. He craved physical contact of any kind, but especially things like this. They were on their seventh episode, Dan had his head on Arin’s shoulder and was curled up against him. Arin was pretty sure he was starting to fall asleep but didn’t want to say anything. He knew this was just some platonic thing for Dan, there was no meaning behind it. Though, he’d never quite pegged Dan as the cuddling type, but people surprised him every day.
Around midnight Dan got a text from some girl, asking if he wanted to come over. Arin knew not to hold his breath on Dan saying no. He paused the show and prepared himself for the warm mass of blankets and body to leave his side, but it didn’t. Instead, Danny put his head on the pillow and Arin’s lap and closed his eyes. He sighed contentedly.
“ ‘m not goin’... Don’t wanna leave.” He smiled at Arin before turning his attention back to the TV.
Arin woke up the next morning with an awful pain in his neck and something weighing on his stomach. He’d fallen asleep on the couch last night, and, apparently, Dan had fallen asleep with his head on his stomach and an arm wrapped around him. Arin was afraid to move and wake him up because he knew Dan didn't get enough sleep; he constantly complained about the lack of it. He groaned and and stretched his legs, before letting out a soft snore.
Arin wasn't quite sure what to do. He really needed to pee, but he didn't want to wake Dan. He was also worried over how Dan would react when he woke up. Would he freak out at the “intimacy" of it? Arin recalled all the times that first month when Dan felt he was getting too close of friends with him. Then again, he'd changed a lot in the past few weeks. He decided he’d just deal with that whenever Dan woke up. For now he’d just enjoy laying here with someone warm curled up against him.
He’d just started to doze off again when Dan decided to wake up. He mumbled a lazy ‘good morning’ but made no attempt to get up.
“Morning Danny. You sleep well?” Arin rubbed his back.
“Yeah… ‘m hungry. Can we have pancakes?”
“Only if you cook.”
“Deal.” Dan slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He seemed totally unbothered by waking up, practically laying on Arin. He yawned the padded into the kitchen without so much as a word about it. Maybe he finally was relaxing around Arin. He stretched out on the couch while listening to Dan open various cabinets and drawers. He knew where everything was at so Arin felt no need to go help. He must have fallen asleep again, because next thing he knew Dan was nudging him awake, handing him a cup of coffee and breakfast.
“Thanks, Dan.” Arin smiled as Dan sat next to him.
“No problem, Baby Bear.” He took a sip of his tea. “Did you sleep okay? Your neck was bent at a weird angle when I woke up.”
“Yeah, I slept pretty well actually.” Arin stopped for a moment. “Did you sleep okay?”
“That’s good. I always sleep so much better when I sleep next to someone.” Dan didn’t seem bothered in the least, so Arin dropped it.
“Yeah. Me too. Do you have any plans for today?” Arin figured they should probably get some work done. Starting November first they were going to be pretty restricted on what they did. Arin had made a pact with himself years ago that he didn’t steal from people in November or December.
“Uhm...” Dan thought for a moment. “I need to go find a Tails costume. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment… That’s about it. Why?”
“We need to get some work done, because we won’t have our normal work for two months.” Arin set his plate on the coffee table.
“What’s going on the next two months?” Dan took another sip of his tea.
“Holidays. I don’t steal money from people during the holidays. I’ve had that rule with myself for years now. I know it seems stupid but something about taking money from people at the holidays just feels exceptionally gross. You know?” Arin felt vaguely embarrassed, though he wasn’t sure why.
“Yeah. I respect that. I remember one year growing up, someone stole all of the presents out of my best friends car. They didn’t have enough money to replace them either.” He was quiet for a moment. “What do we do instead?”
    “We steal things back for people. So if someone’s presents get stolen, we’ll get them back. I don’t charge people, but they normally give me money anyways.”
“Oh my god,” Dan mumbled, smiling. “You’re a sensitive little bitch.”
“Maybe” Arin stood up and took their plates to the kitchen, excited about the holidays for the first time in years.
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classic-rock-roller · 6 years ago
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1. It’s Kevin’s birthday, and at the party is you, Bonham, Kevin, Randy, Rudy, Danny, Arin, Linus, Erik, and Sean. At one point, Bonham brings him a beautifully frosted cupcake and says, “I know we’ve been fighting lately, but I came with a peace offering. Here.” “Wow, thanks.” He says. He takes a bite of it, chews, grimaces, and spits it out. “Augh, what is that?” “It’s lotion, you bastard! That’s for taking a knife to all my stage clothes!” She yells it loud enough that everyone hears. What does Kevin say, what do you say, and how does everyone react?
Kevin: You bitch! 
Me: Enough! 
I grab both of them by the ears. 
Bons and Kevin: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 
Me: I’ve had enough of the both of you bickering and fighting with each other. You’re friends. Friends don’t act this mean towards each other and if I have to treat you like children I will. 
Rudy: Whoa 
Randy: You should do this to them more often. Might stop them from fighting. 
Sean: Mama Carrot is out. Watch out! 
Erik: I remember her doing that to me it’s not pleasant. 
Linus is outside smoking 
Danny: Jesus Christ 
Arin: Don’t mess with BabyCarrot. Ok, noted. 
2. You and Bonham are hanging out with QR one day and at one point she and Rudy are talking to each other in Spanish. Frankie comes up to them and says to Bonham, “I didn’t know you knew Spanish.” She responds with, “Yeah, I do. It’s how me and Rudy talk shit about you guys to your faces.” How does Frankie react, and what do you, Carlos, Kevin, and Rudy say?
Frankie: *fake scoff* Well, I never! 
Carlos: That never works on me though. We all talk shit about interviewers a lot. 
Kevin: I honestly don’t care how you talk about me. 
Me: Doesn’t surprise me to be honest. I trust Bons enough not to talk too badly about me. 
Rudy: ...you realize she was joking right. 
Bons (looks to Kevin): Only partially joking. 
3. Linus has just outed Sean’s reasoning behind reading War Angel fiction, and he hasn’t denied it (continued from number 9). How do you, Bonham, Erik, and Linus respond, and how do you all move forward?
Bonham: While I’m very flattered, Sean. You’re much younger than I am and I don’t like you like that. I see you as a little brother. 
Erik: Ooh you’ve been relegated to little brother. 
Linus: Finally, now that that is taken care of. 
Me: I told you, you couldn’t date Bonham, Sean. It’s almost broken up our band in the past. 
He does move on from Bons. He soon dates a really nice girl named, Kelly. Who he does eventually marry. It actually made him and Bons closer in their friendship and our band closer as a whole. 
4. Your band is getting ready to go onstage one night, but all the dressing room doors look the same. You’re in yours with Kevin, Bonham’s in the one next door, and the rest of the boys are scattered around. You step out to ask Bonham for more eyeliner and see Sean walk in. Bonham screams and says, “Get out!” Sean says sorry, then steps out, but he looks dazed. Kevin follows you out, and asks him, “Everything okay?” He looks past you and right at Kevin and says in a small voice, “…her rack. She wasn’t dressed yet.” How do you and Kevin respond, and what does Bonham say when you go to get more makeup?
Kevin: Dude, you seriously went in her dressing room?
Sean: It was an accident! I didn’t mean to. It’s not labeled and I thought it was mine and...
Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa. It’s ok it was an accident. Just apologize to her when she comes out and don’t do it again ok?
I slip into her dressing room and she says, “I can’t believe he just popped in here like that. It’s like Daryl watching me shower all over again. 
I explain to her it was an accident and he didn’t mean to and he felt bad about walking in on her. 
5. Bonham’s been learning to play the guitar and she’s got a special way of going about playing it. One day, she’s doing this while playing when Kevin comes in and says, “You sound like an unbelievable douche.” She sings the last bit of this (after Brian comes in. In this situation Stewie is Bonham and Brian is Kevin). How does Kevin respond and what do you say?
Kevin: You’re incredibly annoying. 
I have gotten good at tuning out their arguments so I’m not really paying attention. 
6. You’re hanging out with Kevin and Bonham one day when Erik comes in and says, “I have a boss question for you. Someone called my phone and said that you and Bonham are up for awards and asks if you accept.” “What are they?” you ask. “Yours is Best Female Lead and Bonham’s is “Sexiest female backup musician.” She just looks up from the chips she is eating and says, “You should call them back and tell them I think they fucked up with mine.” before stuffing another handful in her mouth. Technically, you have the authority to make the executive decision. Do you accept your nomination? Do you say that Bonham accepts hers? Do you win? How does Kevin respond?
I accept my nomination and tell them that Bons accepts hers and I don’t win my award but Bons wins hers. 
Kevin: See, if you hadn’t accepted you wouldn’t have won. 
7. Kevin and Bonham are arguing one day about video game history. Bonham googles their question and is proved right. “Hah! I told you! I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.” She says. How do you and Kevin respond?
Me: You are not dumb or stupid and don’t say that. 
Kevin grumbles about being proved wrong. 
8. You come home one day and you hear a weird thumping coming from upstairs. You go to investigate, and it’s coming from Sean’s bedroom. You open the door to see what it is and you find him and Bonham in the middle of doing the act, even after you deliberately said no. How do they react once they know you’re there and what do you do?
I scream seriously?! And then both jump but I soon realized that they’re both really, really, really drunk so I tell them to knock to the fuck off and once they’re sober we have a band meeting about how to go about this. 
9. Some time has passed since War Angel has retired. You’re all in your fifties, and can’t keep up like you used to. You’re content with life, but Kevin isn’t. Even though he and Frankie are the only ones left of QR, they’re making a new album and calling it Rehab.You’re happy for him, but Bonham is skeptical. “He should quit it soon, he can’t keep up the way he’s going. The best things come to an end. That’s why you never see a classic with a sequel.” What do you think of this attitude, what does Kevin think?
I agree with her and I keep a close eye on Kevin. He’s no longer doing drugs (thank god) but he should take it easy he should enjoy his grandkids while he still has the time to. 
10. Bonham comes to yours and Kevin’s house one day super excitedly. She’s barely made it in the door before she squeals, “I’ve been invited to be the clarinettist for the new Dragon Quest game! And guess what else! They want you two to be the male and female chorus leads! Isn’t it great?” How do you two respond? Do you accept? How does it turn out?
We both say we’re love to and the game turns out great. The three of us have a lot of fun. 
11. Your band and QR are hanging out one night, and at one point the subject of fetishes comes up. Frankie goes into detail about all the fucked up stuff he’s into, and at the end, you’re all in a bit of stunned silence. Bonham finally says, “I’m sure we’ve all already realized this, but Frankie is one fetish away from being a serial killer.” How do you, your band, and QR respond?
Me: No, Son of Sam was a bit crazier and John Wayne Gracy had an unsettling fetish. So did H. H. Holmes and he was insane. Zodiac killer I have no idea. So Frankie isn’t close to a serial killer. 
Erik: How the fuck do you know all that?!
Carlos: Yeah, man that's freaky. 
Rudy: We had to do a project on it in highschool. 
Sean: what high school did you go to?
Linus doesn’t say anything but nods. 
_____________________
1) After your singer screams at Sean about hiding coke in a candy box, Kevin gets up to get something. Your singer grabs his arm and goes, “If you think you’re going to rehide YOUR stash don’t bother I already flushed it all. You’re another matter. I will not be having my kids dealing with a constantly strung out father. You’re quitting cold turkey and I’m taking you to a rehab center today. You're in your fucking thirties, you have three kids who want to have their father for a long, long time.” Kevin glares at her and goes, “I’m not going to rehab. I’m fine and have it in control.” “Oh, is that why I had to rush you to the hospital last week because of a cocaine overdose? Just so you know our kids were terrified. They kept asking if they’d have to say goodbye to Daddy.” Kevin pulls his arm out of her grasp, “I don’t need to go to fucking rehab.” Your singer glares at him and you can see the tears sliding down her cheeks, “I honestly don’t care what you do anymore, Kevin. I love you with all my heart. You’re my soulmate but apparently, I and our kids aren’t enough to outweigh the sweet release of a high. But just know, you’re pushing everyone you love away. Go get yourself some help.” She heads upstairs and you hear her and Kevin’s door slam. What does Kevin say after she leaves and how do you and Sean respond? Do you go check on your singer?
2) It’s your birthday and Kevin was in charge of the cake. (Why your singer put him on that you have no idea, But she later regrets it.) He won’t let anyone see your cake until it’s time to eat it. He puts the candles on it and brings it out to you at the table. When he places it in front of you it reads, “Happy fucking  birthday, you fucker.” How do you, your singer, Rudy, Danny, and Arin respond?
3) Your singer broke up with Kevin over his drug use and has been dating different guys ever since. One day, she comes to your and Rudy’s house while Kevin is there with Tom Keifer. They run into each other at the door and your singer goes, “Oh...Kevin. This is my boyfriend, Tom. Tom, this is...Kevin.” Kevin shakes his hand and looks him up and down before saying, “Hello, fucker. Thanks for taking my girlfriend.” How does Tom respond and what do you, your singer, and Rudy say?
4) Your singer takes you, Kevin, her friend, Mick, and Rudy out for sushi. You’re all ordering and Mick orders something that’s not sushi but your singer doesn’t say anything. When the waiter leaves, Kevin goes, “Why does he not have to try sushi?” Your singer looks at Kevin and goes, “Because he tried it already when I took him out for food before I met you and he doesn’t like it that’s why.” How do you, Kevin, and Rudy respond?
5) You're with Crüe and Tommy is sitting on the hood of his car. Your singer has had a bit to drink so she’s a bit drunk. Tommy goes to you, Nikki, and your singer, “Come sit on my lap.” You look at him and go, “Not in this fucking lifetime.” Nikki is too busy making out with another girl but your singer goes, “Ok.” She sits on Tommy’s lap and the next thing you know, they’re heavily making out. She soon gets up and goes, “I’ll be waiting for you later.” Tommy didn’t expect that at all. How does Tommy respond and what do you, Nikki, Vince, and Mick say?  
6) Your singer and Kevin’s wedding is getting nearer and Kevin still hasn’t gone tux shopping. One day he’s talking to you and Randy and he says, “Maybe I’ll just get married in that suit I own. I don’t want to go tux shopping.” Your singer’s head pops into the kitchen and she says, “I swear if you get married in that god awful pink suit. I’m divorcing you.” How do you, Kevin, and Randy respond?
7) You and your singer come back to her and Kevin’s house one day to find a stuffed lobster in the bathroom holding a platter full of pads and tampons. (I have a picture of it somewhere.) Your singer calls out to Kevin and goes, “What’s in the bathroom?” Randy and Kevin come to the doorway and Kevin goes, “That’s a menstruation crustacean station.” Your singer blinks and then rolls her eyes. What does she say and how do you, Kevin, and Randy respond?
8) You and your singer are in an interview with Tommy and Nikki about your upcoming joint tour when the interviewer says to your singer, “You curse a lot. You do realize that’s not ladylike, right?”  Your singer leans back and goes, “I know it’s not ladylike. Good thing I’m not a lady.” How do you, Nikki, Tommy, and the interviewer respond?
9) You and your singer are on the set of a QR music video. Kevin comes over to the two of you and goes, “So what do you think?” Your singer looks at him and goes, “Kevin, your wig looks very fake.” He steps back a bit and goes, “What?! I’m not wearing a wig. Give me my son please.” Your singer hands over nine-month-old Mal and Kevin is talking to him. Before you know it, Mal has pulled the wig off of Kevin’s head. How do you, your singer, Rudy, and Carlos respond?
10) Kevin comes to bring you and your singer lunch while your recording with Crüe. He comes in wearing this really feminine scarf. Tommy comes up to him and goes, “Nice scarf, Kevin. Really brings out your femininity.” Kevin glares at him and goes, “Shut up.” How does Tommy respond and what do you, your singer, Nikki, Vince, and Mick say?
11) You're still in the interview with Tommy and Nikki and the interviewer keeps digging at your singer and being an ass towards her. She makes a comment about her dating Kevin and about how he’s an idiot and just really nasty things about him. Your singer stands up after that and goes, “Ok, I am officially done with your attitude and how you’re treating me. I don’t appreciate it and I don’t have to stomach it anymore. So fuck you,” She flips the interviewer the bird, “Good night.” She walks off the set and you hear the stage door slam. How do you, Nikki, and Tommy respond what does the interviewer say?
12) Your group therapy sessions with Sean are still very strained and he constantly makes comments about your singer, “Well if that bitch didn’t put me in here we wouldn’t have a problem.” You go off on him every time he calls your singer a bitch but she doesn’t say anything. One day he says it again and she looks at him, “You know, Sean. No matter how much you don’t want to admit it, you’ve very reliant on me. You live with me and the reason I sent you into rehab after your six-month coke habit was because it was becoming an addiction. And my kids look up to you as an uncle. You’re like a little brother to all of us. We love you. And I refuse to have my kids grow up with a strung out father and uncle. Because that’s what the both of you are. And Eddie and Roxanne may be too young to pick up on it just yet, but Mal is already picking up on it. Every time I leave the house to visit you and Kevin in rehab I get, “you’re going to see dad and uncle Sean again aren’t you?” and it breaks my heart because he knows the both of you have a disease and are sick and yet the two of you can’t pull your heads out of your asses to see how it’s affecting your loved ones. And that’s just sad.” How does Sean respond and what do you, Kevin, Erik and Linus say? 
@osbournebemydaddy your move, Bons :)
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filmfreak1994 · 7 years ago
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Change the Channel
A lot of people have been talking about their experiences with Channel Awesome in the wake of the 60+ page document released by Allison Pregler and several other former content creators for Channel Awesome. I figured I might throw my own experience with the site and its people (mostly Doug) too while the topic is relevant, even considered dusting off the old camera I got for Christmas to film a video but allergy season is upon us and I’m coughing up my lungs so the written word it is.
I was a frequent user of YouTube in the early days of its inception, mostly to look up viral videos and just go on a stream of pointlessness for hours on end with each recommended vid in the sidebar (mostly consisting of parodies to Star Wars, LotR, and entire Simpsons episodes uploaded before the great purge of early 2008). In all that time between 2006 and 2007, reviewers like the Angry Video Game Nerd and The Nostalgia Critic eluded me. I saw plenty of the 5 Second Movie clips and thought they were hysterical but didn’t even make the connection that they were made by a “Nostalgia Critic” until around the end of 2009, when a friend of mine at school told me to look up NC’s review of Sonic the Hedgehog (the weird TV show and the futuristic evil Jim Cummings one). I finally gave in which led me to watching some of his other, recent reviews like the “Star Wars Holiday Special” which was freaking hysterical (and still brings a warm smile to my face just thinking about it). By the time the new year rolled around and I had discovered That Guy With The Glasses I was hooked.
For a while I stuck to watching reviews on YouTube when fans would rip them from the main site, but decided to eventually support the site itself where I mostly stuck to NC videos but also watched content from the other producers when it interested me; Spoony and his Final Fantasy reviews, Linkara and any comic with a subject material I was familiar with, Marzgurl and her Don Bluth retrospective, so on and so forth. Like many other people, I wasn’t keeping up with every producer’s videos weekly like I was with NC, but when I decided to watch something else their content was worth it, being funny and informative all at once, even creating new branches of my interest and giving me new perspectives on media criticism.
I watched Nostalgia Critic religiously every week and, sorry to say, started to take his opinion as gospel, and the opinions of other reviewers as well, treating certain movies and shows as bad just because they said so and didn’t have an opinion for myself for the longest time. It was when I started to pay attention to Doug Walker himself and his philosophy that you should like what you like and every movie is a miracle that I started to chill out and even disagree with his opinions at times (I remember his “Little Nemo” review made me seek out that movie and I actually quite enjoyed it).
TGWTG was a formative site for me in my high school years, developing much of my sense of humor and how I look at movies. I watched all the anniversary specials, started to watch a greater portion of producers that included Lindsay and Kyle’s more analytical reviews and Brad Jones’s and Matthew Buck’s mix of cynicism and snark with genuine analytical praise and criticism. I even started to look at music critics like Paw or Todd even though I can’t judge music for shit (if it has a catchy beat I’ll more or less dig it, I’m not picky). I always imagined when I moved out for college (yeah, how’d that work out for ya, younger me) that I would start my own review series in the vein of these online personalities and even be picked up for the site where I too could join in on the anniversary movies and have a swell time and make friends with the people I looked up to and have a good time filming huge crossover events with them (in hindsight I can only imagine what role Doug would have me play in them, if I was even deemed important to be in them at all). Whenever people criticized the anniversary movies I just shrugged it off and said, “Yeah, they’re dumb, but I like em anyway,” and when rumors starting going around about some upside down crucifixion going on I shrugged them off as just rumors (and to be fair it wasn’t upside down but the real thing isn’t much better).
Anyway, around the time when To Boldly Flee came I enjoyed the movie a lot (I only saw it the once and I was eighteen, eighteen-year-old me and present me don’t get on anymore) and thought it was a bittersweet conclusion to The Nostalgia Critic but was excited to see what new projects Doug and the company would do after its conclusion. Plus the other contributors still had their content to keep TGWTG going strong into the foreseeable future. At least I thought.
I didn’t hate Demo Reel, but I didn’t like it all that much either. I only caught around a few episodes before losing interest, saying I’d get back into it eventually but never going out of my way to see them. By accounts they got better as they went along and I was interested in the episode that paid tribute to Elizabeth Hartman (which I think is the same episode that had Mara Wilson and Arin Hanson? I might be wrong (I didn’t even know who Arin was at the time but hindsight is 20/20)), but I just put off watching them until, oh look, NC’s back. At the time I thought this was interesting, there was plenty he could still do with the character given his new ground rules and the emphasis on skits gave the show a different tune that I felt, at the time, kept it fresh from what it was before. I missed the simplicity of the earlier reviews but I happily stuck with the NC again, as well as the same creators I’d happily watched before and plenty more I started to watch like Phelous (around the time he did that weird Aladdin meets Pagemaster movie, I used to rent that from Hollywood Video all the freaking time).
It was around this tumultuous time that Doug actually kinda started to annoy me. Never to the point where I stopped watching NC, but he sort of seemed to forget his whole “Like what you like,” message and outright attacked fans who disagreed with him. Certain jokes in his reviews rubbed me the wrong way (if Irate Gamer can’t get away with blowing up Ubisoft cuz they wouldn’t let him into a conference, you can’t get away with pretending to blow up Happy Madison just because they make shit movies) and he had a general vindictiveness to those who liked movies like “Man of Steel” or “The Lorax” that just seemed mean spirited and not a funny little video meant to entertain (though I guess the signs were always there like when he added in a dig at “Avatar” in his “Conan” review for no reason). But by and by he seemed to mellow out (no doubt dealing with problems letting go of Demo Reel and how big a success he thought it would be) and I still watched his stuff, including the vlogs he did with Rob regarding “Avatar” (the good one, hey I did it too!), “Korra,” “Adventure Time,” and any recent movie that came out. I started to agree with them less and less but they were still entertaining guys and I liked what they were doing.
Some of the shadier stuff going on at the site more or less flew over my head. The game show they did was pretty much “Demo Reel” part two for me in how much interest I had in it and that faded from public consciousness pretty quickly, and it was around the time the site switched from TGWTG to just Channel Awesome that a real shift began to become more noticeable. People were leaving. People I may not have watched all the time, but they were leaving, often times unannounced and seemingly unprovoked (because quite a few of them were). I read about what happened to Allison, aka Obscurus Lupa, who I had watched on and off again and thought that was pretty shitty, and got a general grasp that the management of CA itself wasn’t very good from what she and Lindsay alluded to (or just straight up said, they really should’ve had some NDAs if they cared so much about how they look) in some posts on Tumblr or Twitter but I still carried on watching NC and the other creators on the site mostly because I just figured what every fan figured at the time, Doug was mostly innocent and it was Michaud and Rob who were the real strings behind big decisions like who stays and goes (I liked Rob fine, but even back then I knew he could be kind of an ass).
More and more people from the classic era of TGWTG were leaving or not producing as much for the site as they did and that was a shame. CA was never what TGWTG felt like to me, even if the purpose was to put more focus on the other producers (supposedly (hell, TGWTG did a way better job of featuring producers in my opinion even if it wasn’t perfect)). But whatever, I carried on every Tuesday watching NC, watching other creators when their stuff interested me, but it still wasn’t quite the same as before, and I had become more aware of the general bad experience most people had filming the anniversary movies even if the full extent of that didn’t come until a few days ago.
It was really when Lewis announced that he had left and I found the Change the Channel hashtag that I started to take notice of these stories, finding plenty of them on my own from the links to Twitter conversations many of the former contributors were having before reading them on the Google doc. I was torn, wondering if I should boycott NC with all that I had read and decided to make it a temporary one until the doc came out and to see if he or CA would provide a statement. Well, the doc came out and the apology not long after. And yeah, I moved it to a permanent ban after that bullshit.
I’ve given up watching people I loved before, JonTron and his racist bullshit was the last straw in supporting anything he did, and even with the Me Too movement I’ve given up any kind of support for people like Kevin Spacey who I used to love as an actor (now it’s pretty easy to see how he was able to play such scumbag villains over and over again). I know Doug isn’t a Nazi or Nazi sympathizer, and to my knowledge he hasn’t used his position to sexually take advantage of anyone (though he has turned a blind eye to others doing the same and the same can’t be said for taking advantage of people in other ways), but I just couldn’t watch stuff directly made by him and for Channel Awesome with all this information. It wouldn’t be right, even with an adblocker. 
I don’t mean to threaten the livelihood of people on his team like Malcolm or Tamara, I like them a great deal and they’re very talented, heck I even enjoyed the skits on NC a lot more than most because of them (and Rachel, she was great too). But I said to myself until an actual apology is listed and some form of action is taken to truly better the site, I wouldn’t watch them. Others have suggested and I have thought the same, that the best thing to do would be to fire Michaud, though I realize this would create a slew of problems given that he owns the IP for NC and is the founder of CA. Still, some form of acknowledgement from the Walkers would go a long way to bettering the public response to all this. More and more contributors have left in the wake of this document, either out of fear for their own image or to show solidarity with the many complaints levied toward the site (and their reasons are completely valid no matter what, they’re trying to make a living), looking at the site today it’s practically a ghost town. I don’t blame those that have stayed for anything, but the reputation of CA is tarnished and at this point, especially with that piss-poor “apology,” it’s going to take several huge leaps to get it back.
I realize the purpose of Change the Channel was never to create a boycott of NC or any of the Walker’s content, at least by the majority of those who contributed to the docs, and those who choose to boycott do so of their own volition. Well, that’s my volition. No matter how much NC shaped my sense of humor in my younger years and inspired me to look at movies critically myself, I can’t deny the damage that Doug and Rob have been complicit in nor turn a blind eye to the shady practices they, Michaud, and past executives on the site have done. 
I really do wish that what was seemingly apparent in front of the camera, that this was a site filled of talented people who were also good friends having a good time, was true behind the scenes as well. People have been hurt, assaulted, taken advantage of, and tossed aside when they were no longer useful to the site. It’s not right, and I’m literally changing the channel until actual change is made.
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poppedparaz · 7 years ago
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For: @fruit-lump
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe it was the fact that this was one of the biggest crowds he’s ever performed in front of–not biggest, one of the biggest.
Maybe it was the fact that their new songs, more serious and unlike their regular music, was received so well by the fans.
Well, whatever it was, it sure left Dan shaky. The anxiety (he wasn’t sure whether it was good or bad) bubbled up inside of him as he drove over to the after party. He heard his phone buzz against the seat next to him and picked up the phone.
1 new text: Arin♡
It was probably to confirm that he was indeed going to be attending the party, but Dan couldn’t care less. He wanted to be alone in his home, but he couldn’t drive off. There were tons of people already waiting.
He entered the building and was immediately swamped by his friends, coworkers, other people he didn’t care much to identify. Once he had made his presence known, he managed to catch Arin’s eye. The younger man skipped over to him and crashed them in a hug, and he was jumping up and down as he praised his boyfriend for the wonderful performance.
“You did so good! I’m so proud of you, Dan!”
Dan nodded and tried not to shy away as Arin pulled him into another hug.
Soon Arin was off to grab some punch or something, it flew by Dan’s head, and when he came back bubbly and excited, Dan bolted to the restroom.
He locked himself inside, shaking and trying to control his breathing. He heard a knock at the door and a concerned voice.
“Dan? You in there?” Called Arin.
“Y-yeah, dude, just taking a shit,” he lied. When he began to talk again, Dan inwardly groaned. Why couldn’t he just be left alone?
“Are you sure that’s i-”
“Arin, leave me alone, I’m fine, god dammit,” he said through gritted teeth.
Arin obviously didn’t think so because after the several minutes it took Dan to calm himself down and exit the restroom, he was face to face with him, cup in hand.
He brought a hand to the small of Dan’s back, and he frowned as Dan flinched and pushed himself away from him.
“Danny, ple-”
“Not now, Arin, please,” Dan begged. He felt guilt pang in his chest as the other’s face fell. Arin brushed his hand against his boyfriend’s, who intertwined their fingers.
They stayed like that, awkward and in the middle of the bathroom hall, with people pushing them aside and so often congratulating Dan, who would simply mutter a thanks.
“’M gonna go find Brian.” Dan mumbled and walked away, leaving Arin alone.
The rest of the night was pretty uneventful aside from the fact that Dan or Brian couldn’t be found at all. They were in a small room, chatting and laughing like normal, and after Dan had spilled his feelings and talked to his friend, he even forgot that he was upset in the first place.
Brian laughed as he finished up a story, and he stepped on his empty plastic cup, crushing it.
“I think most people have left,” Dan began, a little guilty he wasn’t there for most of the party but whatever, at least everyone knew he was there in the first place.
“You should get back to Arin, he’s probably wondering where you are. Don’t worry about packing up, I got it,” Brian said as he stood up and picked his trash off the floor.
Arin. Oh no.
Dan quietly gasped and caught Brian’s attention, looking at him with an arched eyebrow.
“I forgot about Arin, I completely ignored him,” Dan whispered into the silence of the room.
Before Brian could open his mouth, Dan was out of the room, calling out a goodnight, then frantically searching for his boyfriend. A few minutes later he found him, leaning against the wall and looking up something on his phone.
“Hey,” Dan breathed as he walked over to him. “Wanna go home?” He asked.
“Yeah. Was just about to call an Uber.” Arin muttered back. Dan frowned as he recognized that Arin was mad at him, and he honestly had every right to be so.
“So…yeah, I already said bye to Bri and shit, so we can go now if you want to.” It had never felt harder to talk to Arin before.
“Sure.” He replied in the same flat tone, and followed Dan outside.
Dan’s fingers drummed against the steering wheel, guilt filling up his heart as Arin shuffled into the passenger seat.
Say you’re sorry, idiot.
No matter how loud his brain told him what to do, he couldn’t find the words. They pulled up to Dan’s home, and he was honestly happy he wasn’t alone like he originally wanted to, because then his head would’ve been filled with negative thoughts all night long.
While Dan occupied himself by unpacking things from his backpack, Arin quickly made his way upstairs. Dan heard the shower turn on and he sighed to himself.
When he finally cleaned up the house and made his way to his room, Arin was already asleep, and he made it clear he wasn’t in the mood for cuddling; pillows were mushed up like a border between the side he slept on and the side Dan did. Childish, but effective.
Seeing this made him miserable, of course, but he knew he brought it on himself. As he crawled to his side of the bed, he grumbled to himself.
“I’m such a fucking idiot,” he breathed out. He wanted to be by Arin’s side, wanted to comfort him, but he knew Arin probably didn’t want to be touched by him right now.
It was right when he was finally about to enter the sweet embrace of sleep when he heard sniffling. At first he thought it was snoring until he heard a quiet whimper, and he knew Arin was trying not to cry. He abandoned all previous thought and leaned over his boyfriend, across the no-man’s-land that was made out of cotton and whatnot.
“Whoa, hey, hey,” he pulled Arin to face him. Unshed tears decorated the corners of his eyes, and Dan shoved the pillows away, knocking them down on the floor so he could hold the other.
They both sat up, backs resting on the headboard and Dan’s arms around Arin protectively, letting the younger place his face in the crook of his neck.
“Do–am I a…” Arin started, struggling to speak through sobs and tears finally making their way down his cheeks. Dan prompted him to continue.
“Am I a burden?” He gasped out, and Dan held him tighter, getting ready to tell him that of course he isn’t, he isn’t a burden, but Arin continued.
“Like, I try to help…people, and it seems like lately I’ve only been making problems worse, and tonight I tried to ask you what was–what was wrong and you stormed off, and I just…”
Sobs wracked through him, making him unable to finish his sentence.
“No, no, baby, it was my fault, Arin, my fault. I was just panicky and shaky because of the concert, and I wanted to be alone, but now I’m glad I’m not, because you’re here, even if you were upset with me–and you have every right to be upset.” Dan pulled back from Arin and wiped tears away with the pad of his thumb before continuing.
“You’re the light and love of my life, Arin. I treated you like shit tonight, and I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry baby. Know that even though I have my days where I’m feeling angsty and mad, it doesn’t make me love you any less. And that goes with everybody else. I should’ve explained. I’ll make it up to you.”
They stayed like that for a few moments until Arin calmed himself down. Dan heard a shaky voice from underneath him.
“W-Wendy’s?”
“What?” He looked down to Arin, more composed than a few minutes ago.
“You said…you’ll make it up to me. Wendy’s?” He asked again.
“Yuck,” Dan said, sticking his tongue out and they both laughed.
“You were being mean to me,” Arin reminded him, a smirk appearing on his face as he pinched Dan’s side. “You made me cry.”
Dan groaned and covered his face, making Arin giggle.
“Fine, we’ll go to Wendy’s tomorrow night.”
He started to lay the both of them back down but before Arin was completely down, Dan cupped his cheek and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.
“I love you, Arin. Never forget that.”
“I love you, too.”
They intertwined their legs and held each other in the dark of the room, happy to be with each other.
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