#like all she asks of her kids is to try their best to be worthy of their positions and their titles and like ? If they make mistakes ;

[halfyearsqueen]

WHICH VERY SPECIFIC CHARACTER ARCHETYPE ARE YOU ?

the Matryoshka Doll. Someone with layers, and a painted surface hiding deep intricacy below. A person who changes completely in a blink of an eye, a person with contradictions but something cohesive holding everything together.

tagged by: @greydeath

tagging : @daekarys , @dreamtfyres , @sentys , @stormbcrn , @lcerys

[yuujispinkhair]

Sukuna’s the type of baby daddy that even if you break you never really broke up 😭 and if you got pregnant again there no chance in hell it could be anyone else’s kid besides his

The love you and Sukuna have is world-changing. Even after you break up, you are both still stuck on the other and unable to move on.

Pairing: Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Hurt + comfort, fluff, mentions of smut Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: 18+, mentions of smut but nothing explicit. Reader and Sukuna break up, but they get back together at the end of the story. There is a happy end. They already have a daughter together, and another pregnancy is mentioned at the end. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear

It's not that you aren't trying to get over Sukuna. You really do. After a week of crying your eyes out, you decide to go out. It's not even that hard to get chatted up by some guy at a bar. But when his hand lands on your knee, you practically bolt. It feels so wrong, so dirty somehow. As if your body is still Sukuna's territory and no one else is worthy of touching you.

You try again a week later and the week after, too. But none of the men you meet spark your interest. Maybe this shouldn't come as a surprise. After all, only a few weeks ago, you had Sukuna. You had the best. There simply is no one who can compare to him. No one will ever make you feel the way Sukuna did.

You regret the breakup. It was stupid. Just small things that accumulated over several weeks, combined with a bad day at work and Sukuna being grumpy when you got home. You could have handled it differently.

But now, your bed always feels cold, and your heart doesn't seem to be in your chest anymore. Instead, there is a stone in your chest, heavy and painful, while your heart is in another part of this city, in the hands of the man who will always be the one for you, even if you will never get back together with him again.

+++

Sukuna asks to see his child, but you feel unable to face him, so you cowardly text him back, telling him to just pick your daughter up from kindergarten and spend the afternoon with her. When Sukuna brings her home in the evening, you are relieved that he seems to have gotten the hint. He doesn't come inside but waits at the front door as your daughter runs up the stairs to your apartment.

But you aren't strong enough not to hurry to the large window that faces the street, gazing outside to see Sukuna's familiar tall, broad figure slowly stroll down the street toward his car. His pink hair looks just like the cherry blossoms that fall down onto the road like pretty, pink snowflakes.

You know you will never be able to look at cherry trees again without feeling sadness wash over you.

Maybe you will try going on another date with some new guy, but deep down, you know that it will be in vain. It will always feel wrong. It will always feel like something is missing. Because none of those men are Sukuna. No one can be like him. There is only one Sukuna. Everyone else will always just be second best.

Sukuna isn't even trying to get over you. Not anymore.

On the first night after your breakup, he was a mess and stormed off to some bar, desperate for a distraction. Anything that would keep him from getting overwhelmed by his feelings.

He had some drinks and flirted with a random girl. Even took her home, thinking that sex would help him feel better. But the moment she tried to unbutton his shirt, Sukuna grabbed her wrists and stopped her.

It felt wrong. He felt wrong. As if he was cheating on you. He told the girl to leave and watched with his arms crossed as she angrily slammed his door shut before Sukuna sank down on his couch and buried his face in his hands.

He knew right then and there that it was no use to go out and try to have hookups. It wouldn't work, and it sure as hell would only make him feel worse.

In the following weeks, Sukuna worked longer and spent more time at the gym, always trying to stay busy because as soon as he got home to his deadly silent apartment, he was drowning in thoughts about you. Drowning in all those happy memories the two of you had made over the years.

You were Sukuna's love, his heart, his everything. He hadn't known or understood love until he met you. So how is he supposed to ever get over you and move on? It's impossible. You are still his everything, and you will always be.

And so it's clear as day to Sukuna that he won't even try to move on. He knows he will always be yours, whether you are together or not. He was only able to give his heart away once. And even if you don't want it anymore, it still belongs to you.

+++

Sukuna spends two days every week with his daughter, happy to see his little girl but sad because he misses the time when all three of you did things together. And when she looks at him with your eyes and asks him, "Daddy, why don't you just come home again?" Sukuna feels his heart shatter into a million pieces.

Sukuna doesn't know what to tell her. He, too, can't understand why the two of you decided to break up. It was stupid. Nothing big caused it. Just small things that added up, and looking back they seem insignificant.

"I don't know, princess. Maybe Daddy should really go home and talk to Mommy."

He decides at that moment that he will get roses and come up to your door this evening.

+++

Sukuna's chest feels painfully tight when you open the door, and he sees your face again after all those weeks, hitting him with just how much he missed you.

He hands you the roses, a beautiful huge bouquet that cost a little fortune, his eyes gazing deeply into yours,

"Please take those flowers. They come without any obligation to take me back or even talk to me. But I want to give them to you because you are still the mother of my child. And... and you will always be my woman, just like I will always be your man, even if we aren't together."

He fears he sounds like a creep, that he overstepped a boundary, and that he made you uncomfortable. But he has had lots of time to think during the last few weeks, and he promised himself that he would be more open about his feelings if he ever gets a chance to talk to you again.

You stare at Sukuna for a moment that feels like hours to him. But then he sees the tears gathering in your eyes and sees the way your hand that's holding the flowers is trembling. You breathe a soft "Kuna..." and Sukuna knows. He knows that you are still his, just like he is still yours.

He pulls you into his arms a split second later, crushing the beautiful roses between your bodies as he hugs you tightly. And you melt so perfectly against him as if you are made for him. Your face is pressed against his broad chest, and you snuggle against him, every centimeter of you touching him. You cling to him so tightly that it's almost painful, but it's the first time since your breakup that Sukuna feels like he can breathe again.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything."

You both speak the words at the same time, eyes locked, small relieved smiles playing around your mouths.

You tell Sukuna to stay for dinner, and he agrees. He takes over the kitchen again, his kitchen, and prepares a dinner that he knows his two girls always loved. He sits at your table again, jokes around with his little daughter, and basks in the way you look at him with your eyes full of happiness.

Sukuna doesn't just stay for dinner but stays the whole night.

He kisses you after the two of you bring your daughter to bed. Pushes you gently against the wall and claims your lips again, though deep down, he knows that those lips always belonged to him, even when you were apart.

He grins when you laugh when he picks you up and carries you princess-style to the bedroom. Your lips are on his again, kissing him as if you can't get enough of him, making it hard to walk, but Sukuna would find his way to your bedroom even blind.

He locks the door behind you, turning around only to find your hands on his chest, unbuttoning his shirt while your lips find his again in another passionate but tender kiss that makes Sukuna moan softly into your mouth.

He makes slow love to you in the bed you bought together all those years ago, showing you what it feels like to be loved and desired and cherished endlessly. And you wrap your arms and legs around him and meet each of his slow thrusts while you moan his name softly, and tears run down your cheeks, showing Sukuna the same love he is showing you.

Sukuna doesn't leave again after that night.

The two of you talk things out, and only a week later, Sukuna finally puts a ring on your finger and tells your little daughter that she needs to pick a pretty dress because she will be a flower girl at the wedding.

And only a month later, you place a positive pregnancy test on Sukuna's pillow, making both of you burst out laughing when you realize that you and Sukuna must have made another baby that first night when he came back and brought you the roses.

Thank you so much for the ask! It made me feel so many things, so I had to get these feelings out and write this little story 😭 I hope you enjoyed it and that it made you emotional, too. How could there ever be anyone else after Sukuna? It's really not possible 😭

Thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗

[slttygeto]

JJK MEN AS DADS — headcanons.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥featuring: geto suguru, nanami kento and toji fushiguro.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥note: enjoy this alternate universe where everyone is okay and safe and happy.

╰┈➤ interested in sending a commission?

╰┈➤ GOJO'S VERSION

—GETO SUGURU ;

some of you might not agree with me on this but he probably never saw himself becoming a dad

sure he loves kids, they do annoy him when they’re loud and all over the place but he never thought that he would have kids

that is until you announced to him that you were pregnant, and his entire world changed

his daughter is pretty much everything to him but he doesn’t spoil her (gojo does)

he wants to teach her proper manners, the right way to communicate things and isn’t big on spoiling

and you both end up raising a sweetheart who’s in love with uncle satoru.

“baby, stay in my sights.” you heard suguru talk to your daughter as you both walked down the food aisle. she was well mannered, didn’t act up or tried to be bratty when told something (unless she was having a really bad day, which was very different).

watching your husband parent a child that looked like a mix of you both was a different kind of love. he was gentle, careful and most importantly trying to be there for her.

from taking her on daddy-daughter dates, to talking things out with her when she was mad at him or when she messed up, suguru proved himself worthy of becoming someone’s father.

“who knew someone else would come along, and you’d call them baby,” you teased the man with a small smile, letting him push the cart while you walked next to him. he shot you a playful glare before grabbing a can of tuna.

“don’t even start—i somehow got used to speaking in girl voice from being forced to attend her tea parties…” he sighs but you know it's far from a tired one. he looks at your daughter with so much love, so much adoration that your heart flutters.

you were incredibly lucky.

“tell me you love me in your girl voice, come on,”

"move."

—NANAMI KENTO;

this man was made to be a father

despite how tired he looks he always makes time for you and your girl

very lovey dovey and is very proud of referring to you two as his girls

whenever he is asked to hang out, he goes 'lemme make sure my girls dont need anything'

hes quite literally the best

most patient, loving and understanding husband/father

ever since you gave birth, kento and your daughter had a routine. you two would feed her at 8p.m when he comes back from work, he would then take her to the bathroom where he would bathe her then read her a bed time story. he would then kiss her goodnight, keep the small moon shaped light turned on before closing the door.

it was endearing because he put it on so much effort when it came to her. you knew it was the bare minimum for a father, but you were still very grateful that you married a good husband and an even better father.

both kento and your daughter were now in the bathroom. bath time usually took about twenty minutes to half an hour, and it would be filled with giggles coming from your four year old and kento's occasional chuckles. but it was oddly quiet, so you decided to go check on them.

when you opened the door, your heart melted at the sight. your daughter had fallen asleep in the bathtub, and so your husband was trying his best to get her out and dry her up before she caught a cold.

and he was doing it so quietly that you couldn't help but ask if he needed any help.

"baby, do you need help?" you whispered to the man holding the sleeping girl, lightly kissing his nape and squeezing his shoulders.

"I got this." he whispered in response, turning around and pressing a light kiss on your lips and forehead.

you watched with heart eyes as he gently woke her up to dry her hair, kissed her forehead and continued on with their routine, before it was time to say goodnight.

nanami kento was an angel sent from above.

—FUSHIGURO TOJI;

this man isn't new to parenting, in fact you knew you weren't his first wife

but you were accepting of it, helped giving the grieving man a second chance at life as he liked to say

you met megumi when he was still so young and the little boy loving you was enough reason for toji to confirm that you were indeed the right one

loving a child that wasn't yours wasn't given to everyone, toji was well aware of that

and as you watched the man parent megumi, you were a bit hesitant to announce to him your pregnancy

when you did tho, he sobbed like a baby

and twins? a boy and a girl? oh he was in for a ride

"you little rascals better let me love on my wife in peace." your husband whispered to the two sleeping babies in their cribs. it was 9p.m and they were fortunately fast asleep.

you on the other hand, were busy with your oldest.

finally after getting them in bed, you were with megumi in the kitchen asking him what you should pack for his lunch tomorrow, which the ten year old responded with what he typically always chose.

megumi wasn't a difficult child, but with the arrival of the twins, you were a bit worried that he would think you and toji no longer cared for him. dealing with twins wasn't easy, but you were aware and willingly brought two lives to his family, and were fully responsible for it.

when toji was with the twins, you would help out megumi with his homework. and when it was time to breastfeed the babies, toji would take megumi to basketball practice or engage in a random activity together.

"a juice box?" you asked while packing his lunch, which the little boy nodded at before staring at who was coming down the stairs.

"you got school tomorrow at 8?" toji asked megumi, and the little boy responded with a nod. not much of a talker.

"are they asleep?" megumi quietly asked his dad, who raised an eyebrow at him before saying 'yes' and you watched as your son fiddled with his fingers, anxious of what to say next.

"gumi, do you wanna see them?" you stepped in, a hand resting on his back. the little boy looked up at you with sparkly eyes, grateful that you understood him.

"go, and if they do wake up call me." you kissed his forehead and watched as he carefully tiptoed upstairs.

toji's eyes stayed glued on you during the entire interaction, and finally let his arms wrap around your waist once your son was upstairs before resting his forehead on your shoulder.

"thank you," he whispered out, pressing his lips to the side of your neck.

"for what?" you chuckled, caressing the taller man's back.

"for making everything feel like it's worth it."

2023 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.

[cvnt4him]

Emergency request bc I’m literally struggling so bad and feeling neglected as shit rn

ofc if you’re up to it pooks ik ur alr stressing over stuff and I don’t want to make it worse :(

Maybe some iida or monoma x reader that try’s hard to do stuff but always gets neglected? Thanks pooks 💕

I hope I got to this in enough time for you, I'm sorry for whatever you're going through n trust you're not making my situation any worse, you're actually helping me get rid of writers block so ty for this n I hope this reaches you well and is what you hoped for🫶🏽🫶🏽

mha boys x reader.

Included; izuku midoriya, kirishima ejirou, bakugou katsuki, tenya iida, monoma neito, denki kaminari.

Not in order.

Genre: angst? comfort/feel-good/fluff.

Izuku midoriya is none other than a saint. He helps everyone around him and he strives to keep his good boy/golden boy title. You admire him for that and you know others do, you also know one day he'll not only be yours but belong to the world. It gets to you but you try so hard to not let it.

When you two started dating no one knew at first, but izuku couldn't just stand by and let people not know that you were his. That he finally had a girlfriend who thought he was worthy of love. You truly felt that he deserved to be loved and he felt so seen with you, more than anyone else had ever made him feel.

Sooner or later after people found out, people began giving you such disgusting looks. Mostly girls you noticed. They would whisper about you when you were alone and look at you with mean and disgusted looks and they would laugh at you while you walked. No matter what you did you always had eyes on you. People laughing at the way you ate or spoke or dressed, it was draining.

You knew why it was happening and you tried so hard not to let it get to you. But none of that could even begin to compare to once your friends found out the two of you were dating.

You walked into the girls locker room to see all of the girls standing in a circle, you had already heard through the door they were having a conversation however you didn't exactly try to make out what they were saying. They all turned to look at you before slowly looking away to continue dressing, the silence had gotten rather too loud for your liking. They were just having a conversation before, why stop now that you were there? It bugged you the wrong way but you didn't want to make a commotion.

"so you and midoriya?"

Mina questions looking you up and down with a pointed look. She was one of your best friends, why was she looking at you like you're being investigated in a murder?

"uh.. yeah! We're dating."

You confirmed turning away to finish undressing. She hummed sucking her teeth and crossing her arms.

"you're dating him.. whilst knowing ochako liked him the whole time?"

She instigates, trying to get you to admit something. What the hell? Why would she say this? It's not your fault ochako didn't confess to izuku in enough time. It's not your fault he agreed to date you. It's not your fault he wanted everyone to know, so why was she trying to grill you like it was?

"look. I don't know what you're trying to get out of me, but--"

"just that you're a backstabbing bitch."

Silence filled the room once more as you scoffed clearly offended. She and the other girls stared at you with such disgusted and disappointed looks. You look around the room to see everyone staring at you with hatred and spite.

"are you fucking kidding me?!"

You ask around looking at all of them, there was no way they all hated you this much because you liked a boy.

"I mean.. you did kind of steal him off from under her.."

"you knew she liked him. Kind of bitchy."

"what about girl code, dude"

All the girls began saying their own opinions ganging up on you and practically eating you alive. They all shared their own fair share of mean words and side eyes before you finished getting dressed and slammed your locker shut making them all quiet down.

"fuck all of you."

You spat out while flipping them all off and leaving the room. You couldn't believe they're trying to decapitate you because ochako didn't have the balls to do what you did. Why does that make you a bad person.

The week started getting harder and harder as everyone, even some of the boys who knew ochako liked deku, started distancing themselves from you, al because of what mina would whisper in their ears, feeding them whatever she could pin in her web. And like the idiot fools they were, they believed her.

You were being neglected by your friends, all because you liked a boy. It began to be too much for you. Putting up this front for everyone who didn't even bother to see it or even your side of the story. You can't be happy with someone who has all these people liking them and making you feel shitty for also liking them. Maybe you'd have to break up with izuku.

When you came to him with this information he was furious. But not even with ochako or mine. With everything. The fact you'd been feeling shitty and didn't tell him and the fact you didn't tell him these people were bothering you. Izuku loves you more than he does himself and he isn't afraid to show that. He also loves his friends but he isn't going to let these people sit here and make you feel like shit because you're together.

He held you close that night, assuring you he wouldn't let this stand any longer. He was going to confront everyone for whatever they said to you and he wouldn't give a single shit about it. You were his and he loves you.

"I'm sorry for the way you've been feeling, love. I'm sorry that people have been treating you shitty and neglecting you because of our relationship. But you don't need any of them as long as you have me."

Tenya iida, one of the most compassionate hard working and caring people anyone has ever been graced to know. He is strong resilient and brave. He cares so much about everyone and it's so admirable. Some people see him as a wack job robot who just yells and screams or dotes too hard but to you he's perfect. An angel sent from the heavens above.

You've been working hard on something for a really long time. You hadn't told anyone about it because when you planned on it you wanted to also tell them the good news that would come with it. However that good news nevwr came. What you were doing wasn't good enough and it effectsd you deeply. Your grades fell, you started getting rather sluggish with your movements and you jardlt had the energy for anhone kr anyrhing.

Not getting the good news for what you've done was draining. It drained you to the point you wanted to break down and cry, yet nothing would come out. When people told you what you worked hard on, for so long, wasn't enough. It broke you, scarred you deeper than you could even begin to imagine. But tenya seen, he seen how you began to act, how you began to look more and more dead, how you'd began neglecting yourself. It was all too much for him to bear or watch you go through alone. He couldn't sit by and watch the love of his life perish.

Tenya held you in your dorm and let you cry on his shoulder for as long as you needed, having tissues on standby and rubbing your head gently. Placing kisses on top of your forehead and shushing you lightly as you both cuddled, he would be patient with you. He would wait until you were ready to talk or open up about what you were going through, but for now he wanted you to know you were loved and that he was proud of you.

"I love you, y/n. So much more than you could possibly fathom. I see you, and I am so incredibly proud of you. You are worthy and deserve someone who would move heaven and earth for you, I hope I am adequate enough for you."

Dating bakugou katsuki was hard. Not because he was an angry fiery shit head, but because he had such a burning passion for what he did. He never stopped striving and fighting to get what he wanted. He knew what he wanted and grasped at it and held onto it tight. It was nothing less than admirable.

The fact he could come back to you and tell you he loves you was admirable. He loved you and that meant so much to you. You loved him just as much and tried so hard to show up and be there for him. Through thick and thin, lows and highs, you wanted to be by his side regardless. He loved you for that reason alone, but he'd give you so many other reasons why he loves you.

He seen how hard you were working, how hard you were trying, how no one dared to even glance at you. He seen a faller bird that had potential and was worthy. Bakugou katsuki seen you. He wanted you and promised you he'd love you.

But for fucks sake, it always angered him to watch you get in such moods. To watch you neglect yourself and struggle with bad things. To put yourself under so much pressure and stress for no reason. When you'd cry your eyes out alone because you were tired.

He wanted to do so many things to you in that moment, but all his body could do was rush to you and hold you. He held you tightly, his fingers digging into the side of your hip. He buried his face in your neck and inhaled your sweet scent that always made him go feral.

You were his and he wouldn't dare let you sit here and feel shitty over whatever it was that was making you feel this way. He pushed and poked at every corner he could to get you to talk. Once you did he told you to shut the fuck up. You wanted to cry even more but you were sure he had reason to it.

And boy did he, he had such caring words laced with such menas things that were all wrapped in the cutest bow. He was emotionally constipated and had a hard time making people feel better. But watching him slightly struggle to find nice words to make you feel better while holding you close in his arms makes you feel so much better. Giggling at how he stammered over his words and how he tried to uphold a gentle voice to match the gentle strokes of his fingers on your side.

"look.. just. sigh. You're great okay. I love you and I'm not gonna just sit here n' let you whine n' shit for nothin'. Don't let whatever stupid shit is bothering you get t'ya. Or I'll beat yer' fuckin' ass."

Being kirishima eijirou's girlfriend was nothing other than a pure utter blessing. To be blessed with such an amazing caring and helpful boyfriend like him was genuinely a gift from the god above. He treated you like a queen who deserved to be worshipped.

It didn't take long for him to notice how hard you were struggling with things. He made sure before you got back to his dorm that it was all cozy and comfortable for you. One of the most romantic gestures he could have ever done for you. The way he had his laptop on his bed with so many plushies and comfortable pillows, and the fluffy cover he has and all the snacks you could ever imagine. He was nothing more than a blessing.

He held you tight and let you watch whatever you wanted, kirishima doesn't care about weight or anything like that, [yes I had to add this bit, bite me.] He loves training and working out with you, sure but he would never force you to do those things. He wants you to be nothing but comfortable with him and your body, so he would never shame you for how much you are or how you are in front of him. He loves you, all of you and he made sure you knew that. He kissed you and told you he loved you so many times. You fell asleep in his arms while he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

"I love you.. I hope this could make you feel better. I will always be here for you."

Denki kaminari. Where to even begin with him. He was such a funny guy that it was hard to tell when he was joking or being serious about committing arson. He always made sure you knew that he loved you. He always hung by you and stayed by your side. He wouldn't ever tell you but he was a bit insecure. There were some things about himself he wished he could change for you, some things he wished he could do for you. He never intended to bring himself down but sometimes he thought you were this super cool goddess who was worthy of something more than a tiny little pebble like him. He felt like he was gum beneath your shoe.

Denki knew he wasn't good at a lot of things, he knew he could be dumb or even useless at times but when he seen how short you were feeling and how you would start crying because of how stressed you were he couldn't just sit by and let you feel this way.

He let you vent to him like you laid in his arms. He let you out face masks on him and let you do his hair or paint his nails or draw on him and just let your rant to him about all of your worries and woes. He wanted you to feel the way you made him feel so he tried hard to keep his mouth shut and listen. Whenever he'd notice you quieting down because you thought he was getting tired of listening he'd ask you "why'd you stop?" It'd make you feel so happy to have someone like him.

Finally after you were finished he decided to carefully pick and close his words to make himself sound just a bit smarter and more cool for you.

"hey...I'm sorry that you're going through this.. I wish there was something a bit more that I could uhm.. do? I don't want you to feel like I'm a burden but I promise you I'm here for you, if you ever want to vent like this again or just have someone to talk to, or-- or even just sit in silence with someone.. I'm here."

Neito monoma, he's quite the distinguished fellow. He always hated class 1A and he seemed to make his whole personality about just that. Or so you thought. You two getting together was not on your 2024 bingo. But he knew how to make you feel things.

He gave you butterflies by just smiling. His laugh was loud and carefree. He wasn't afraid to boast and brag about anything you did, he even did it in front of you. It was hard to feel insecure with him around. He wanted the world to know you were better than them, especially class 1A.

He would give you flowers or cute bows or just things he felt you'd like. He learned you and your every move well. He'd even practice certain conversations before the two of you have them. He felt you were rather predictable in an exciting way. A way that could never make him unlove you.

You being in a bad mood angered him, he confronted you about it and was so ready to beat someone's ass. With his words. But once you assured him why you were feeling this way his gaze softened. He grabbed you by your shoulders and pulled you into a hug. One that felt like it could last an eternity. One that you hoped would.

He sighed and just held you for a while and took it to his bed which led to a cuddle sesh. He rubbed your shoulder while you buried your face in his chest, he felt the way your breath fanned all over him and it made a shiver go down his spine.

You listen to his heartbeat and breathe in as much of him as you could, you were afraid if you didn't take all of him in right now he might disappear. Every time he kissed your forehead lightly or peppered kisses over your ear snapped you back into reality and helped you realize this was real, that he was real and was with you. That he loved you and would do anything for you.

"I love you darling and I hope you know just how much I do. I'm rather angry that you hadn't told me how you were feeling but I suppose I can let it go for now.. get some rest, my love."

AN: so I decided to make it a to character thing n don't even mind that I basically made a whole story for izukus... We all know how I feel ab him..

Also off topic and not that anyone cares but I'm thinking ab updating my masterlist yk? Js make it more aesthetically pleasing to myself. Also I wrote this all in one go, this took ab maybe two hours?????

[janeyseymour]

I Hate You, I Love You- part 4

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Summary: Christmas Eve with your family leads you to have a certain revelation.

WC: ~2.5k

You and your ‘girlfriend’ make it down the steps with your fingers interlaced, and you seriously hate the way that it makes you feel things that you know you shouldn’t be feeling for Melissa. You hate her- or you’re supposed to. No, you do. You have to. You always have, and you always will. 

Still, you walk down the steps with a practiced ease. Nobody is here yet though, so you take a spot on the couch with your dad while Melissa opts to kiss your cheek and let you know that she’s going to see if there’s any last minute jobs in the kitchen. Your eyes once again linger on the red haired woman’s hips as she makes her way into the kitchen.

Your father coughs awkwardly to gain your attention.

“Hm?”

“Kid, you really have it bad for her, don’t you?” your dad chuckles.

You shrug. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do,” he leans over and wraps an arm around you. You can’t but lean into his embrace. “I haven’t seen anyone look at you like that, and I haven’t seen you look at anyone the way you do Melissa since…”

“Since Todd,” you whisper. Your dad nods silently. You look to him with vulnerable eyes. “She’s… she’s something alright.”

“In the best ways, yes?” your father prompts quietly.

You just nod, and then your ‘girlfriend’ is making her way into the room, yet another glass of wine in hand for you. She settles in next to you on the couch, drapes an arm around you, and rests her head on your shoulder.

“Mom didn’t have anything for you to do in there?” you ask her quietly as you kiss red hair.

“Her and Jo are flying around like chickens with their heads cut off in there. I figured I would be more of a hindrance than a help,” Melissa chuckles softly.

It’s a bit later that your family comes in, and you’re forced to introduce Melissa as your girlfriend to everyone there. She smiles and shakes hands, works her charm, and you can tell that your family is loving having the redhead there. You’re given quite a few impressive hums and thumbs ups as your family makes their way in. The redhead stays close to you as your family members come in. Her hand is always on some part of your body, whether that be on your back, your shoulder, or your hands are entwined. You don’t hate it.

Light conversation is made, just pleasantries and catching up on life at first as everyone makes their way in. You don’t engage much, trying to keep Melissa in the loop with who is who.

But then you settle in for dinner, Melissa on your right, and most eyes turn to you.

“What?” you ask with a raised brow. “Is there something you all know that I don’t?”

Your Uncle Ron laughs. “Kid, I think it’s that you know something the rest of us don’t.” When you give him a blank stare in return, he gestures to Melissa.

“I already introduced you all to her,” you roll your eyes. “This is Melissa, my girlfriend.”

“And?” you Aunt Betty prompts. “How did you meet? When did you realize you two had a thing for each other? How long have the two of you been dating? You know, other stuff like that?”

“Am I being interrogated?” you question with a brow raised, the other furrowed. When your family just continues to look at you with bated breath, you huff out, “You guys are ridiculous.”

Melissa playfully rolls her eyes and sets a gentle hand on your knee. “C’mon, babe. If you won’t tell ‘em, I will.”

Both of your eyebrows creep up your forehead, and you gesture for her to continue. “Be my guest, hun.”

So Melissa takes a breath and begins. “I started workin’ at Abbott a while ago… longer ago than I really care t’admit. An’ I really only had a couple of friends at work. Nobody really seemed worthy of getting to know. Until… Y/N. I usually hate newbies, and I wasn’t willing to make an exception for my new grade level partner, but there was something about her. Something in the way that she stood up for what she thought was right, the way she speaks to the children and holds them to the highest expectations while still providing them with unconditional love and care. Somehow, Y/N wormed her way into my heart- as a professional. And then slowly, as she started to let more of herself shine through, I found myself entranced with her.” Green eyes are trained on you, and you can see the amount of love she has for you- fake love. “I found myself slowly fallin’ for her.”

She presses a soft kiss to your cheek, and you have to cough awkwardly to let out the gasp that your body wants to release. She said those words in such a convincing way that you almost believe her. Unbeknownst to you, her words are genuine. 

“And when did the two of you finally get your heads out of your asses and start dating?” your father asks.

“It took a while, but I broke down her walls, walls I would usually have up myself. But we’ve been dating since almost the beginning of this school year when I finally just made a move, and I haven’t been happier,” Melissa tells your family as she continues to look at you in a lovesick way. “I ain’t lettin’ her go any time soon.”

The blush in your cheeks is clear now. You smile and press a quick kiss to her lips before sighing. “Enough about us though.” And then you turn your attention to your cousin and her new job.

Melissa insists on helping clean up dinner and bring out desserts. Of course she does, because she’s the perfect fake girlfriend. Maybe she isn’t though, because that means that you’re obligated to help. You don’t do much- you never do much to help clean up after a day of cooking. So instead, you keep your arms around your ‘girlfriend’s’ waist and rest your chin on her back. Every so often, you’ll kiss her shoulder blade or detach yourself briefly to take a sip of the sangria she had poured for you.

Before you can even think about going to the dessert table for the two of you, the redhead has taken it upon herself to make you up a plate, and she takes some for herself. She knows that you prefer to have tea with your dessert as opposed to coffee that is normally offered. Melissa saunters over to the teapot and fills it with hot water for you. In no time flat do you have your favorite desserts and a warm mug of chai tea to warm your already soothed soul.

But then everything is cleaned, desserts are handed out to the rest of your family, and you’re settling on the couch again. Melissa sits first, and then she practically tugs you into her lap. It’s warm, it’s cozy. You can’t deny that your bodies fit together well.

She seamlessly places herself into your family, and you hate it. You hate the fact that she knows just what to say and do to win over your family. You hate that she’s warm and loving, and she’s being the exact opposite of the woman you know. You sit quietly with her as she jokes with your cousins, completely lost in thought. There was something about the way that your father told you that you had it bad for the redhead next to you and the looks that she was giving you at dinner. Your whole body tenses as you realize: you just might be falling for this side of Melissa.

“Hun?” the redhead furrows her brow and turns to you, concerned. “You okay?”

Of course she would notice the rigidness in your body. You blink a few times before putting on that practiced easy smile of yours. “Yeah, just got a chill.”

“I can fix that.” Your colleague shifts you off of her slightly before standing and fetching a blanket from the bin. She settles back into the cushions before draping the throw over the two of you. For good measure, she pulls you in close, wrapping her arms around you, and kisses your head. “Can’t have my girl cold, now can I?”

Your favorite cousin just glances at you with a smirk, and then she looks at Melissa and makes a whip noise. Your ‘girlfriend’ scoffs, but she presses another kiss to your head as you rest it on her shoulder.

It’s a long while before you finally decide that you need some sleep. Christmas morning may be a lazy morning in your house, but it’s always an early morning. 

With a soft sigh, you turn to the redhead next to you. “You about ready to head up?”

“Yeah, if you are,” she mumbles into your hair.

The two of you climb the steps, and you’re oddly quiet as you prepare for bed. Once all of your makeup is washed away and you’re changed, Melissa is already in bed with her glasses on the tip of her nose and scrolling through her phone.

You crawl under the covers and sigh deeply.

“Penny for your thoughts?” your colleague asks you softly.

You hum. You can’t tell her that your mind is whirling with thoughts of how you may actually be falling for this side of her- not the real Melissa, but this fake Melissa that she’s come up with for this elaborate lie of yours. “Just tired. Today was a lot.”

“Yeah,” the redhead chuckles. “But your family is real nice, and I think they believe we’re together.”

You just nod and turn on your side facing away from her. “Night.”

“Goodnight,” Melissa tells you. You don’t see the way that she looks at you longingly. You don’t see the way that her eyes go soft as she glances at you laying in bed next to her, how her green orbs clearly convey that she wants to wrap her arms around you and hold you tight the way that she has been all night. No, your back is turned to her as your mind goes a mile a minute thinking about what you think you may be feeling.

You feel the redhead shift to lay down in the bed a few minutes later, and the glow of her phone disappears as she sets it on the nightstand. A couple seconds later you hear her glasses being folded and deposited next to her phone.

Melissa lays down in the bed on her side, but she’s facing you. It’s not her fault, that’s just how she’s always slept- on her right side. And it’s not like you know she’s facing you. It takes everything in her to not cozy up behind you and pull you against her. Instead, she closes her eyes and hopes that she doesn’t snore tonight.

When you’re certain the redhead beside you is asleep, breathing evenly, you turn as gently as you can in the bed to face her. She’s… she’s beautiful. She looks so at peace. There’s a lot of things you can say about Melissa Schemmenti, but unattractive is not one of those things. In this moment, you can allow yourself to daydream about what a life with this version of Melissa might be like- she’s treated you like a princess since getting to your parents’ house, a far cry from how she acts around you at Abbott.

As you drift off to sleep, the cliched sugar plum fairies don’t dance around in your head. No, instead you dream of what you think might be an ordinary day with Melissa in your life as your partner, and not just your fake one.

The two of you share a wonderful, homemade breakfast together in her house, she drives you to work, kisses are stolen in the break room and in the classroom. And while she still has the edge to her that Miss Schemmenti has, there’s still that sparkle of the warmth that she’s shown you she has outside of work. You find that when she makes a snarky comment in your dream, you don’t hate it. You don’t even dislike it. You can hear yourself chuckling in your dream. That image blurs into another, and you’re just laying on the couch. A shimmer catches your eye as you lay on her, hand resting on her collarbone. There’s a sparkling ring set on your finger. When you look down, there’s a matching one on her own left hand. You hear a baby crying from just up the way, and you sigh. 

Melissa just buries a kiss in your hair. “I got it if she doesn’t settle in the next five minutes.” When the crying doesn’t stop, your… is she your wife now in this dream? Your wife shimmies you off of her and heads up the steps. A few moments later, she returns with a little girl in her arms, one that is a spitting image of you.

“Oh honey,” you instinctively reach for the two year old, at least that’s where you would estimate she is in age.

“Baby girl just wanted Momma,” Melissa rolls her eyes playfully. “Never Ma, always Momma, ain’t that right, Sara?”

The little girl just gives a toothy grin as she lays her head on your shoulders.

You sit upright in the bed as your dream jolts you awake. Your heart is racing. Why were you married to Melissa? Why did you have a child together? What the fuck? The redhead beside you doesn’t so much as stir, still fast asleep. The breath is taken from your lungs as you realize: you’re actually falling for Melissa Schemmenti.

When you wake up for the second time that day, you once again wake with a jolt. Your arms are wound around Melissa’s waist, your face is buried in her chest, your limbs are intertwined with hers. Her arm is slung over your own body.

The woman next to you just groans and pulls you closer. You can’t deny that she’s warm. You can’t deny that you don’t hate waking up like this. It’s comfortable, and you don’t wake up freezing your ass off for once.

“Lis,” you mumble.

“Shut up, and go back to sleep,” she grumbles. She buries a kiss in your hair. Okay, you know she’s still half asleep. She wouldn’t do that if she was fully awake and it was just the two of you. And while her telling you to shut up would normally infuriate you to no end, you don’t seem to mind this time. You settle back into her hold with a soft sigh and allow your eyes to flutter shut again. Christmas morning and presents can wait if it means you'll get some extra time in the warmth of your colleague.

TAGS (and let me know if you want to be added): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @sweetcheeksschemmenti @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights @emilynissangtr @squinnchy @dopenightmaretyphoon @emeraldoceansstuff @shinyfaerielights  @blkmxrvel @marvelwomenrule @sarahjohannson @casualfoxwitch @therightdimple

[p0orbaby]

Crushology 101: How to Seal the Deal with Your Crush

summary: sometimes it’s best just to keep your mouth shut

warnings: none !

a/n: thanks for the request !

word count: 1.4k

-

The Arsenal Women’s changing room is a circus on a good day, but today, it’s a full-blown carnival. Your request for advice on how to handle your crush has somehow turned into an entire production. You’d expected a few tips, maybe a funny comment or two, but what you get is an experience—complete with a PowerPoint presentation, three rounds of applause, and enough snacks to fuel a small army.

It starts innocently enough. You’re sitting in the corner, tying your laces, trying to pretend like your palms aren’t sweating at the mere thought of your new love interest. Leah saunters over, a mischievous grin on her face that suggests she’s about to ruin your life—or at least make it a whole lot more interesting.

“So, who’s the lucky one?” she asks, and suddenly, it feels like all eyes are on you.

Your attempt to play it cool is laughable at best. “It’s no one… just someone”

“That’s code for ‘definitely someone,’” Katie chimes in, appearing out of nowhere like she’s been waiting her whole life for this conversation.

Before you can backtrack, Leah’s already pulled a chair up beside you, her hand hovering over your shoulder in a way that’s supposed to be comforting but only serves to make you more nervous. “You came to the right people,” she says, as if she’s got a PhD in crush management. “We’re experts in these matters”

Katie plops down on your other side, sandwiching you between them. “Yeah, between the two of us, we’ve crushed and been crushed on more times than you can count”

Leah nods solemnly, as though this is a badge of honor. “Which is why we took the liberty of preparing a little something for you”

Your confusion only deepens as they both exchange a conspiratorial look. Before you can ask what they mean, Leah stands up, clapping her hands together like she’s just announced halftime.

“Ladies, the moment we’ve all been waiting for!” she yells, and suddenly the entire team is circling around you. You don’t know whether to feel honored or deeply concerned.

Vic wheels out a whiteboard, scribbled with notes that look suspiciously like they’ve been written by a five-year-old on a sugar high. Steph flips open a laptop, and you realise with dawning horror that they weren’t kidding about the presentation.

“Welcome to Crushology 101,” Leah announces, her voice dripping with the authority of a university lecturer. “Today, we’ll be guiding our dear, sweet Y/N through the treacherous waters of having a crush. Please hold your questions until the end, and don’t worry—there will be refreshments”

“Or, if you can’t hold them, just shout them out. We’re all friends here,” Katie adds, because apparently, there’s no controlling this chaos.

The PowerPoint flickers to life on the screen. The first slide, in bright red Comic Sans, reads: “Step 1: Know Thy Crush.” Below it, there’s a picture of a heart with googly eyes. It’s both terrifying and strangely endearing.

“Right, so the first thing you need to do,” Leah begins, “is figure out if your crush is actually crush-worthy. You know, make sure they’re not a serial killer, or worse, a Spurs fan”

The room bursts into laughter, except for you, because you’re too busy trying to figure out if they’re serious.

“Think of it like a scouting report,” Beth chimes in from the back, like she’s talking about an upcoming match instead of your love life. “Check out their strengths, weaknesses, and potential for future growth. If they’ve got good banter and a solid left foot, you’re onto a winner”

Katie points to the next slide, which features an image of an extremely confused-looking cartoon character. “This is where you do your recon,” she says. “Social media, mutual friends, the works. Be subtle but thorough. You’re not stalking—you’re just… strategically gathering information”

Leah nods seriously. “Exactly. Think of it as research. Just don’t get caught liking their photos from 2015, or you’re screwed”

“Big no-no,” Katie agrees, and you’re starting to wonder if they’re speaking from experience.

You’re not entirely sure how to respond, so you settle for a weak nod and a whispered, “Got it”

But they’re already moving on to the next slide, titled “Step 2: The Art of Flirting” with an image of two stick figures winking at each other. One of the figures appears to be shooting finger guns, which you hope to God isn’t meant to be literal advice.

Leah’s grin is wide and full of mischief. “Flirting is all about confidence,” she explains, as if she’s reading out of a textbook. “It’s like playing mind games, but with more smiling and less VAR”

“And less of a chance of getting booked,” Katie adds, which earns her a chuckle from the rest of the team.

Alessia takes over at this point, clicking to the next slide that reads “Step 2a: The Casual Compliment.”

“Compliments are key,” she says, and the way she’s nodding makes you wonder if she’s ever complimented anyone in her life. “But don’t go overboard. You’re not writing a love sonnet here”

“Unless you’re actually good at poetry,” Katie adds. “In which case, go for it, but keep it modern. No one likes a Shakespeare knock-off”

Leah claps her hands together again, snapping your attention back to the screen. “And now for the practical part: roleplay!”

Your stomach drops as Beth steps forward, smirking in a way that makes you seriously consider running for the nearest exit.

“Alright, shortstack,” she says, “I’m your crush. Impress me”

You blink at her, completely frozen. This is your worst nightmare come to life, and the fact that the entire team is watching isn’t helping.

Beth tilts her head expectantly, and when you don’t immediately respond, she says, “You can start with a compliment. I hear my eyes are mesmerising”

You stammer something that’s supposed to be a compliment but ends up sounding more like you’re choking on air. The team erupts into laughter, and you’re sure you’re going to die of embarrassment right then and there.

Katie steps in, saving you from further humiliation. “Okay, maybe let’s move on to the next step,” she suggests, still grinning. “Flirting isn’t for everyone”

The next slide reads “Step 3: The First Date—Make or Break.” There’s a picture of a candlelit dinner, but it’s so poorly drawn that it looks more like a scene from a horror movie.

“This is the big one,” Leah says, her tone suddenly serious. “The first date is where you either seal the deal or end up in the friend zone”

Caitlyn raises a hand. “Pro tip: Avoid talking about exes, politics, or how much you love your cat”

Steph raises her hand too, even though she doesn’t need to. “Also, avoid garlic if you plan on kissing. Unless they’re into that, in which case, garlic away”

“Read the room,” Leah advises, clicking to the next slide, which is just a giant picture of a thumbs up. “And remember, the most important thing is to be yourself. Unless yourself is a nervous wreck, in which case, fake it till you make it”

“Be yourself, but better,” Katie clarifies, and the whole team nods like this is the wisest thing anyone has ever said.

You’re halfway between laughing and crying when the final slide comes up. It’s just two words: “Good Luck!” followed by a winking emoji. It’s not exactly the reassurance you were hoping for, but at this point, you’re not sure what else you expected.

Leah closes the laptop with a flourish and turns to you with a satisfied smile. “There you have it. Everything you need to win over your crush”

“And if it doesn’t work,” Katie adds, “just remember, we’re always here for post-date analysis”

“Or to take you out for drinks,” Laura offers, which, to be honest, sounds like a much safer bet than whatever just happened.

The team disperses, leaving you standing there, still processing the whirlwind of advice you’ve just been subjected to. You’re not sure if you’re more prepared or just more confused, but one thing’s for sure—you’ll never forget this day.

Leah gives you a final pat on the back. “You’ve got this, Y/N. Just remember: be cool, be confident, and whatever you do, don’t let them see you sweat”

Katie grins at you one last time before heading out. “And if all else fails, just show them this PowerPoint. They’ll either laugh or run away, but at least you’ll know where you stand”

You smile back, finally allowing yourself to laugh. It’s ridiculous, it’s over the top, and it’s exactly what you needed.

As the door closes behind them, you look down at your phone and think, Maybe I’ll give this flirting thing a shot after all. And if it all goes wrong… well, at least I’ll have one hell of a story to tell.

[melsimps]

Born To Be My Baby

FWB!dilf era!Peter Maximoff x fem!reader headcanons/blurb (kinda).

Tw: discussions of sex, childbirth, and pregnancy. (But not in graphic detail)

A/N: I had to write my own dilfsilver shit. Inspired largely by my oc x Canon fic with him.

We got something to believe in Even if we don't know where we stand

You and Peter were friends with benefits. And that was it. It was casual, fun. A way to de-stress without any strings.

And it was fun, too.

You'd mainly hook up after stressful missions or hard training sessions in the danger room.

And it meant nothing. Just some light fun between friends/coworkers.

That's all it was.

Until that one day.

However it went, you found out you were pregnant. Either a condom broke, or you forgot a pill, or your implant/IUD ran out, it doesn't matter.

What does matter is the fact that you're pregnant.

With Peter's kid.

So, after a doctor's appointment, and with a copy of the ultrasound in your pocket, you went and told him.

"I... are... are you shitting me-?" He asked, eyes wide, mouth agape.

...not the best reaction, I'll admit. But...

After some emotional conversation, it all culminates in...

"...hey," he whispered softly, on his knees as his hands settled on your (still incredibly flat/non visible) abdomen. "Hey in there, baby, I'm-"

"-Peter, what are you-?"

"Shhh-! Quiet, I'm having a conversation with my kid-!" He scoffed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

And after that, he was right on board.

Project baby was a-go.

When you were reading pregnancy books, you'd chart out the rough size of the baby in fruit. And each week, he'd try and find one the right size. Just so he could visualise how big your kid is. Because hey, that's his little buddy in there.

You borrow a lot of his band shirts, especially when you get further on in your pregnancy.

But you're not, like...dating or anything. You're just two buds, having a baby together.

It's kind of hard, him having to be the rational one for once, but he's trying.

"...what's going on-?" He asked, slowly creeping into your classroom.

You were in tears, holding a book to your chest.

"They're just so mean to him..." you sniffled out, shaking your head.

He glanced at the cover, and...

"...Frankenstein?" Peter asked.

You nodded.

"...I could've parented him..."

All the while, y'all are still hooking up. Hormones are crazy, man. Especially later on in your pregnancy.

But it doesn't mean anything. Its just sex. Sex with your stupid hot baby daddy and his stupid hot vibrating dick.

Anyway, one night, the two of you were getting it on, riding him good and hard, when he felt a splash against his abdomen.

"Awe, babe, did you just-?"

"...that wasn't an orgasm..." you whispered, shaking your head.

He paled.

"It fuckin' what-?!"

...yep, he broke your water during sex. Pussy so good, it makes you accidentally induce labour.

He doesn't know which emergency bag to grab, so... he just dashes around campus and grabs all of them.

It's a long labour, with a lot of exhaustion and pain. A lot of emotions and yelling, and... crying.

But in the end?

A soft cry pierced the air as that flash of white faded over you, the pressure fading, the pain slowly alleviating.

"Is... is that-?"

"She's here..." Peter murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

And she was.

An itty bitty baby girl.

Luna.

As he holds that baby in his arms, he just... melts. He's crying and holding her so close to his chest, kissing the top of her little head while you sleep.

"Hey... hey, Luna..." Peter whispered softly, his voice shaking with emotion. "Oh my god, you're so small... I..."

He shook his head, tears pricking his dark eyes. God, he was a mess. It was stupidly early, and he was exhausted, and emotional, and-

"...what did I do to make me worthy of a baby as sweet as you and a woman as great as your mom, huh-?" He murmured, trying his hardest not to sob.

Meanwhile, Luna slept happily against his chest, gurgling as she snuggled close to her father.

As you guys adjust and recover together, getting used to having itty bitty Luna in your lives, Peter just... basically moves into the suite at the mansion with you.

I mean, you're raising a baby together. You've seen each other naked. It's not that weird.

Anyway.

He is so helpful during your healing, and is basically your rock during emotional moments (postpartum hormones are crazy, y'all).

He tries to grow out his facial hair.

Key word being tries.

"Babe..." you warned, grimacing slightly as his face nestled into your neck.

"Mmm... whaaaat-?" Peter asked back playfully, his stubble lightly scratching your skin.

"As much as I am loving the beard..." you purred playfully, cupping his cheek in a moment of domesticity in the kitchenette. "...I'm not a fan of the bristles pricking me during cuddle time..."

Reluctantly... shaves (after you promise to let him devour that pussy the second he can).

"Hey, you wanna get married-?" Peter asked one lazy Saturday afternoon as you snuggled into his chest, while Luna was settled in her crib for a nap.

...okay, so maybe y'all are more than just friends.

[norrizzandpia]

Gentle (LN4)

Summary: In which Y/n’s past is a little haunted, but Lando knows exactly how to make her understand she’s safe with him.

Warnings: verbal abuse, panic attack, sort of PTSD but not directly named

Note: i really like this one

Lando had always been known as a gentle soul. Whether that was with kids or animals or adults, he treated people with a certain level of mercy that was adored by many. That didn’t change with Y/n. In fact, it intensified.

She hadn’t had that much experience when it came to relationships. Only two boyfriends before meeting Lando and one of them only lasted two months while the other was abusive. Not physically, but verbally. Constantly tearing her down and stripping her of everything she deemed worthy about herself. She was so guarded, so quiet, that when Lando and her started dating he immediately assumed her last boyfriend hadn’t been the best. That idea was proven right when the two of them had their first fight and she had begged him to forgive her even though she had done nothing wrong.

Tears streaming down her face after his voice raised, she cried, “Lando, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. This is my fault. I’m sorry. I’m-” Her voice gave out as Lando stared at her. The cowering of her shoulders and the avoidance of eye contact told him everything he needed to know.

He approached her with added caution, making sure she was comfortable with his actions to take her in his arms, “It’s okay, my love. It’s okay. This isn’t your fault. I’m sorry for scaring you. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He whispered as he pushed her head into his chest, rubbing over her hair softly.

He had sat with her like that for hours, holding her and reminding her that he wouldn’t ever take advantage of her in the way she had been before. Reminding her that she was safe with him.

—

The next time her past came to taunt them was a few months later. Y/n had leapt out of bed early in the morning to make breakfast for him, wanting nothing more to surprise the man she loved. However, that plan took a turn when she looked away from the pan and toaster for too long. Burnt toast and charcoaled bacon had her staring down in defeat. She had been trying to clean up the mess when he had woken up and walked in.

“What happened here?” He asked her. His tone wasn’t accusatory, actually it had been soft and concerned, but Y/n was taken back to two years before when she had messed up the dinner and her ex-boyfriend had come in, yelling about her incompetence and inability to do anything by herself.

“Nothing,” She shook her head, determined to protect herself from, in her mind, the inevitable lashing she would get for her innocent mistake.

Lando had come over, his hands running up and down her shaking arms, and coaxed the soapy pan out of her grasp, “Love, what’s wrong?”

Still, she didn’t clock his concern for her. Her eyes darted around before she choked out, “I accidentally burnt the toast and eggs when I was trying to make you breakfast. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been looking at my phone. I could have prevented this and now your kitchen smells bad. I’m so sorry. I can-”

His soft kiss against her hairline stopped her rambling, he already knew, “It’s okay, Y/n. Thank you for thinking of me. That’s all that matters.”

Her head dropped down to study the dish water, sad and disappointed in her mistake. If he wasn’t going to beat her up for it, she had been programmed to do it herself.

Lando knew this, and was extremely familiar with it when it came to her. He was an expert in the telltale signs of her dismay and overthinking. So, when he saw the way he started to lose her, he turned her around. Pushing the hair out of her face and giving her the sweetest smile, he reminded her, “Baby, it was an innocent mistake. People burn things all the time. Most people wouldn’t even make breakfast to begin with. You always say the thought’s what counts. That applies here too.”

Her body tanged around him, her arms wrapping around his waist and head snuggling into his chest, Y/n nodded lightly.

“I know,” She mumbled, “I just could’ve done better for you.”

Chuckling and pulling her head back softly to kiss her gently, Lando whispered, “You are and will always be enough for me just by yourself.”

—

Y/n was doing better. A year after the breakfast incident, she was thriving, realizing just how much Lando loved her for her. That was until she stumbled across a video from the deep depths of her camera roll. The video had been from a time when Chris, her ex, had been so verbally abusive that she was trying to get a restraining order against him. In order to do that, however, she needed proof and the only way to do that was to record him secretly when he went off on her. The poor girl had been alone in Lando’s apartment as he went out to grab groceries for their movie night when the sound came blasting through her speakers.

One swipe had it playing, “YOU STUPID BITCH! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PULLING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?”

Her small voice squeaked, “I just wanted to go out with my friends. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t stop, “AND TURN OFF YOUR LOCATION? FUCKING STUPID WHORE. WHAT WERE YOU DOING THEN? I BET HOOKING UP WITH SOME GUY IN THE BACK OF AN ALLEY LIKE THE DIRTY SLUT YOU ARE.”

Y/n could hear her own tears begin both in the video and in reality, “No, we were just at Paige’s house. We didn’t go out to a bar at all. I know how you feel about me doing that.”

His voice continued to dominate hers, “HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN’T LYING? HUH?”

She sighed, clearly exhausted, “I don’t know, Chris. I’m sorry.”

He scoffed, “Yeah, sounds about right. The whore can’t prove she wasn’t out fucking every guy she saw. God, you’re lucky to be with me. No one will ever want you.”

With that, the door was slamming shut and the video was ending, leaving a crying Y/n in its wake. Her whole body shaking, she felt the panic attack coming on as she threw her phone to the side and got up from bed. She tried to get to the kitchen, maybe grab water and physically force the rising emotions down, but she got halfway there when she fully broke down in the middle of the hallway. Gasping for air and sobbing by herself like she always had, Y/n clutched the side of the wall.

The sound of the door closing and feet coming to a halt echoed distantly through her ears. She knew it was Lando, but a part of her was still back there. In that house, in that relationship with a man that, if he had ever found her in the state she was in, would have laughed in her face and locked her away in a bedroom to figure it out herself.

Even so, Lando’s concerned face soothed her. His hands scooping her up and pulling her into his embrace, pleading with her to breathe.

“Baby, you’re okay. It’s okay. You’re here with me. Only me. Come back to me.” He whispered in her ear as he placed her hand on his heart, showing her the rhythm in which she needed to reach.

They stayed that way for a few moments as Y/n came back down to Earth. She didn’t need to tell him she had been triggered for him to know. He always knew.

His hands tangled in her hair, he smiled at his, now, calm girlfriend, “Welcome back, baby.”

Her smile was soft and weak, but there and that’s all that mattered to him.

“Thank you, Lan. I’m-” She began to say, but his kissing her interrupted her apology.

Pulling back, he drew small shapes on her cheekbones, “Remember, we don’t say that here unless you actually have something to be sorry for. Which is usually me.”

The two laughed together before he brought her back to his bed and laid with her, protecting her from the scary memories in her mind. The night went on, his hands caring for her in the way they always had, and it just reinforced the fact that Y/n was with the perfect man.

A gentle man.

[pigeonpeach]

Early love!

Aka into the early courting stages! Pure fluff

Characters included: Arlecchino, Jean, Diluc, Shenhe, Chlorinde

Afab reader

Arlecchino

Early into the courting stages it is quite awkward. As the caretaker you know she’s not the most emotional or social of bosses. But she often requests you stay a little bit late or come see her in her office. At first it has you terrified you did something wrong. But overtime you get used to it. These little meetings are mostly her talking about the kids and any issues you think they might have etc. Nothing too unexpected, but then she starts asking personal questions like lovelife and values. You can’t help but overthink what it means

Truth be told Arlecchino is already smitten with you at this point. She’s just now starting to make her move now that she’s certain life can’t be as enjoyable without you. She sends you flowers on your day off, unintentionally the children also start to try and brag about their father in a advertising sense. She’s well composed, she brings home cakes and desserts specifically for you to enjoy over tea alone with her. She also starts to slowly suggest you move in or move closer. Even offering to compensate the cost. She’s slow with this all. Making sure to ease you into it so she won’t scare you off.

The first time you ask if she’d like to get dinner sometime she almost got a heart attack. She didn’t expect you to be so forward but you’ve grown accustomed to her to the point she’s no longer intimidating. She of course accepts watching you light up and blush with a hidden glee herself.

Jean

Oh she’s very old school. She approaches your parents for permission to court you and of course they agree. Gifts show up at your door, often flowers or your favorite treats. Meals are sent including your favorite foods with the price paid in advance. And she lingers around in your presence. Her gifts are bold but she herself is not. She’s very professional around you. She’s very polite but she tries to hard to hide her blush and trembling lips. You’re just too beautiful for her. Everytime she looks at you she is overwhelmed with her feelings. Mostly she writes letters complimenting your skills, your beauty, anything. The Knights also seem to be more protective of you.

Its quite cute for you to see the Acting Grandmaster so flustered. Her cheeks turn red when you look at her and talk to her. You decided to return the favor one-day and send her a meal, homemade, her favorite too. And ohhh she went from overworked and tired to beaming pure joy when she heard it was from you. She treasured each bite like it was gold. When she found out it was made by you she felt like she was on cloud 9. She was already starting to plan the wedding. The other knights were too.

Shenhe

Shenhe was a odd woman. She doesn’t quite understand when you pick to the best flowers and offer them to her, your face red and your hands shaking that it’s because you like her. She sees it as you trying to appease her like she’s some demon. When you clarify its just a gift she thanks you and… eats the flowers..

You try to introduce her to more tasty meals but she’s more fond of salads and vegetarian meals. Its an adeptus thing she says but its also a bit jarring to see her just eat the bouquet of flowers you spent so long agonizing over and debating which was better looking. The best method is gift giving. A beautiful ornate hairpin is appreciated and she will wear it.

One thing though is Cloud Retainer who is seemingly putting you through trials and tribulations to court her as she wants to make sure you’re the absolute best for her. You still do so. When she suggests you train to get a idea of what Shenhe’s life is like you do and boy are you sore from one day’s worth of training. She wanted to make sure you weren’t weak.

But when its all said and done, you didn’t quite pull off those herculean tasks, but your dedication and determination was proof enough that you were worthy to her. You planned a whole confession on Jueyun Karst, the journey there now seeming more like a hike after all your efforts, having appeased your future mother in law, and being a bit more stronger than before she just randomly asks you out one day before the day of the confession. You accept yes but its unfortunate you planned all this romantic gestures and such for nothing. In the future you just have to be direct and obvious.

Chlorinde

Oh another chivalrous lady! Like jean she’ll request permission… from yourself.. you’re confused because it’s basically a confession but she insists on still going through the courting process. Does she not realize you already accepted her affection? Oh well. The gifts are wonderful. She even has a customized outfit made for you at Chiori’s which fits you so well. Delicate lace you look absolutely stunning in. Jewelry, food, flowers, and more. You keep telling her you accept her feelings but she insists on continuing. Its improper to conclude too soon apparently? She wants to go through the whooleee routine. You even send her gifts in return to which she proudly wears and displays in her home. She refuses to throw out the flowers even when they’re brown and crisp. Finally after a month of having already accepted her feelings, already having told her that: she asks you out. And you accept. Somehow she looks surprised and delighted as if everyone couldnt tell the outcome.

Diluc

Oh another chivalrous one! Only he’s a bit more shy. He’s got a big reputation and he worries if he makes it too public if you would get dog piled on by his other admirers. So his gifts aren’t marked. Causing you to go crazy trying to figure out who is giving you sooo many flowers! You’re questioning Flora when Donna breaks down in tears realizing you’re the one Diluc had been sending flowers to and not her. She makes you swear to treat him well and love him dearly. Which is very confusing but you still agree. You mostly just wanted to tell him to please send something else because you’re out of vases and your cat keeps trying to eat the flowers.

You aren’t sure where to go from here though. Do you confront him? Do you send him something? Unlike Diluc you do not have this courting tradition engrained into you. You don’t exactly have alot to offer really. So you decided to catch him in the act of leaving flowers. You stayed home all day diligently watching the door from your window, not wanting to make a fool of yourself and ensure for certain it was Diluc. Donna could’ve been wrong afterall. She wasn’t though. You were almost half asleep when you heard footsteps. You peered out your window catching sight of his red hair. You immediately junped out and called out to him and… fell out the window into the planter below. Whoops.

So your first “date” with Diluc might’ve been him rushing you to the Cathedral to be seen and healed. Luckily the planter broke your fall but he still fretted over you. He apologized alot despite you reassuring him it was fine. He ended up worried when you said you spent all day waiting to catch him. You forgot to eat and he dragged you to dinner, paying for it of course. You ended up bonding with him over it. He refuses to call it your first date with him becoming so much went wrong but you still enjoyed it.

You forgot to tell him to not send flowers thiugh because shortly after that you came home to a bunch of flowers. Luckily this time they were potted plants so you could patch up your garden you body slammed.

[churipu]

I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE GOJO !!! could i request him having a girlfriend that's really good in the kitchen? like both cooking AND baking !! i can imagine him getting a sugar rush (from her !!) because she tried recreating (and succeeded) his favorite kikufuku from scratch 🩷 and she's probably worrying all the time if the stuff that she makes is good because she just cooks and bakes "for fun" and not as a full time thing 🥹

SUGAR RUSH ! — GOJO SATORU + A GOOD COOK GIRLFRIEND

featuring. gojo satoru

warning. none :)

note. hii anon! <33 i absolutely love this, i can just imagine him being so happy about having a really good cook girlfriend. i hope this is to your liking, have a great day anon! and to you readers, have a big fat sloppy kiss mwah!

"baby, did you make this yourself?" gojo asks you, taking a bite out of the kikufuku mochi you made him this afternoon.

he had opened the freezer a few minutes prior to look for anything he can nibble on — and oolala he came across a tray of kikufuku he doesn't remember being there. but having a good cook of a girlfriend, he wasn't even surprised anymore, he's just very delighted to have his very own homemade kikufuku made by yours truly.

you nodded your head, "do you...like it? tell me how it tastes, i've been working on it for a while now so i'm not sure how it would taste."

"like it? i don't like it." gojo mutters out, eyeing you.

you didn't take things to the heart quickly, you've always believed that failing is a process of learning. so you chuckled, "don't worry about it, i'll try making another one for you. was it too sweet? or was the mochi skin weird on texture?"

gojo grins, "baby, i love it! you really should think about opening your own restaurant — i'll even fund it, no kidding." he tells you, taking another bite out of the kikufuku mochi.

opening a restaurant has been a long time dream. and gojo knew, but there are a few reasons to why it hasn't opened up till' now, you weren't confident with your own cooking. no matter how many times gojo told you about how good they are — you still think they aren't restaurant worthy yet.

"maybe next time? i don't think i have the time for it now," you were technically speaking half the truth.

you had a stable job that pays well (not as much as gojo who's a jujutsu sorcerer, but still enough) — you landed a job as a baker, so you all you needed to do was follow your boss' recipe and everything was settled.

"you can just resign and...focus on this one, hm?" gojo slithered his arms around your waist, pressing kisses on the side of your face— in a way on encouraging you, "i'll even help you, 'm sure it's going to be a great hit!"

you chuckled at his statement, "maybe in a few years, satoru?"

the male whines, burying his face into your neck. he'd never understood why you always tell him that, no matter how hard he tried to convince you about opening a restaurant, you'd decline saying that it wasn't time yet.

but gojo, he could see right through you like an open book. the problem wasn't it being "the wrong time", it was how you weren't confident with what you've made; despite him telling you thousands of time that what you made never fail to amaze him with your cooking.

you sometimes think he was saying that just to make you happy.

cooking for gojo has been a daily routine, he never asks for you to do it — you just liked cooking so much that you made it your job to always make sure he's full. knowing he has a sweet tooth, especially for kikufuku, you try your best to make them for him.

it was quite hard to nail the dessert on the first few times. but like everyone said: "practice makes perfect" and sure enough your hard work pays off, he does enjoy the kikufuku you took long to perfect. and your heart feels full.

"a few years? that's too long," he whines, "how about now?"

you laughed lightly, "you're cute. if you wanted to taste my cooking, i can just make it for you, y'know?" gojo laid his chin on top of your head and grumbled.

"i want the whole world to taste your cooking," he mutters out.

how sweet of him.

"aren't I your world?" you found yourself spouting out non-sense just to try to avoid the same topic yet again — gojo sensed so, and he didn't push on with it. if he finds you avoiding it, it just meant one thing; you didn't want to talk about it, it wasn't that hard to understand, really.

gojo nodded his head, "good point. you are my world," he laughs lightly, kissing the top of your head, nuzzling his nose into your hair.

if you could see his face right now, you'd be worried. gojo satoru, the strongest, had his brows furrowed and a frown on his face, he was worried about you. a lot. sometimes he just wants to cup your face, give you kisses and tell you that you're the best cook he has ever met, he was pretty damn sure he's heard you saying how you weren't a good cook because you do it as a hobby and not professionally — or along the lines of that.

"satoru, i'm trying to put these kikufuku in the freezer or they'll fall apart," you softly lets his arms go, "you can snack on these later if you're hungry. or maybe you could bring them to the kids too, i made quite a lot."

by kids you meant yuuji, nobara, and megumi. gojo being their teacher also meant you having a lot of meetings with the trio — and they have been nothing but sweet to you, sometimes you find yourself packing food for gojo to bring for them.

"good idea, i'll give it to them so they know how much of a good cook you are. yeah? maybe they'll help me convince you to open your very own restaurant," you laughed lightly, shaking your head at his idea.

gojo puckered his lips out, "if you don't want to open a restaurant then at least let me have one more kikufuku. last one, promise."

you shook your head, putting the tray of kikufuku inside the freezer, "you've had four! you'll get sick," gojo puts his hands on either side of your waist, carrying you to the side so he could make his way to the freezer, "hey!"

"the only thing i'll be getting is a sugar rush, angel."

"oh god, that's even worse than you getting sick," gojo turns his head to look at you, his cerulean eyes narrowed, "i am not taking care of you if you get sick, you hear me?"

gojo arched a brow, "you said that last time, and the only person who stayed by my side the whole entire time was you," he pinched your cheek gently with a large grin, "you'll take care of me, will ya'?"

knowing he was right you let out an exasperated sigh, "you're silly. don't eat more or i'll stop making them for you— i'm just afraid you'll get a sugar rush tonight. don't you remember the last time it happened?"

gojo scratches his nape with a nervous smile. a few weeks ago, you made a big strawberry swiss roll — and the male managed to chow down on it in a matter of hours. late at night, he was wide awake, babbling about how much he loves you and then proceeded to list everything that he loves about you from a to z.

it was quite sweet of him, but still: you needed sleep. as a result, you barely gotten any sleep at all and had to go to work exhausted; although gojo did apologize for his nightly sugar rush, and tried to make it up to you by "cooking" for you, which ended up disastrous as he had gotten distracted by a tv show in the middle of his cooking. no foods were served that night so you both had to get take out.

and you had to throw out your favorite non-stick pan because of that.

you appreciated his effort though (and this time he made it up to you by purchasing a pan set — which he told you was a token of his apology for ruining your favorite pan and for his sugar rush).

"hey, i was showing my love to you. and plus, you got a set of brand new pan because of my sugar rush," gojo defends himself with a smile, leaning onto the kitchen island.

"in an exchange for my exhaustion, i almost passed out at work," he gasps out dramatically.

"why wasn't i informed of that? oh my god, 'm a monster." he talked to himself, which you weren't even surprised of anymore, so you let out a soft chuckle.

"kidding. but no— i'd never like to see or hear your sugar rush anymore, i have work tomorrow. i'll be fine if it's the weekend," i poked his side, walking away.

gojo grabbed your arm, pulling you close, "what if you don't have work tomorrow?"

you arched a brow in confusion, "but i do."

he smiles ever so sweetly that it was starting to get suspicious, "oh, i know! i was just asking, y'know?"

"o...kay then?"

gojo, that slick motherfucker, called your boss and told her you were sick and wouldn't be able to come tomorrow. and so— began the restless night of his episode of sugar rush and just the tenth thousands of "i love you"s from him.

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[aphrogeneias]

no more tears — one-shot

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: it's halloween night, 1986. you want to celebrate your favorite holiday after the year you and your friends just had, but after being dumped by your, now ex, boyfriend a week before puts a damp on your plans. eddie munson, however, has a different plan for you.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, mentions of a past bad relationship, petty vengeance, protective!eddie, eddie being a sweetheart. eddie in a corset, eddie in leather pants (those are worthy warnings). drinking, smoking. implied smut towards the end.

author's note: happy, very early, halloween <3 i started writing this last year and originally, it was supposed to be a four-part series, and it became this one-shot. because of that, i'm sorry if it seems rushed, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Hawkins' suburban streets were a dull blur of white picket fences and houses that looked all the same, passing through the open windows of your car, despite the cold autumn wind blowing in. Even on Halloween night, where the air was full of childlike wonder and mischief, those same houses lit up with the same old seasonal decorations, the children going trick-or-treating, your school friends going out with the best of worst intentions. It all still felt dull to you. 

Perhaps because you felt that dullness deep inside of you, dead to the world around you. Fitting for such a morbid holiday — your favorite holiday, completely ruined by someone else's decisions.

Your self-pitying thoughts were interrupted by the curly-haired freshman who was currently inspecting the tapes piled in your glove compartment. You watched with interest from the corner of your eye as Dustin clicks the radio to a stop, without asking, and inserts your Blizzard of Ozz tape in the cassette player.

As the first chords of I Don't Know started echoing through the car, you teased, "Since when do you like these?"

"Since when do you care about what I listen to?"

Most days, you could deal with the kid's presumption, it was quite endearing, actually. That night, though, all you managed was to sigh as dramatically as you could.

"You've been hanging out with Munson a little too much." You pointed, "What's next? You're gonna grow out your hair like Mike is doing?"

"Mike isn't growing his hair out because of… Oh."

"You used to be more observant, Dusty."

You smiled at his silly expression, blue eyes wide with realization. It was the first time they could bring out a smile from you that evening, and you could tell that the teens in the backseat could feel the tension lift a little bit. 

The accidental mention of the metalhead made your mind wander once more. You wondered if you'd see him tonight, even if just for a moment, and if you'd be able to look and, perhaps, melt at one of his lazy smiles and cute dimples without feeling guilty for the first time since you met him. 

If being able to reciprocate Eddie Munson's lingering stares was the reward you got after being suddenly broken up with a week before Halloween, then you could start seeing an end to your current misery.

You didn't let yourself hang on to false hope, though. You were still nursing a broken heart and delusion wasn't going to help with it — but going home to a warm blanket, cheap wine and a bunch of horror movie VHS tapes that your Family Video friends had graciously delivered to your house after a very persuasive phone call.

After years of friendship, Steve Harrington still couldn't resist your pouting, even from a distance.

"Don't be mean. You're being awfully mean today, did you know that? Loosen up a little." Dustin snapped, but with little bite to his words.

You turned to him again, "Can you blame me?"

"Leave her alone, butthead." From her place in the backseat, Erica Sinclair, in her meticulously pink Barbie costume, interjects. "She's already doing us a favor and you're trying to be a smartass?"

Her older brother and Max Mayfield completely ignored Erica and Dustin's following little back and forth, stuck in their own little teenage love affair — and if, for only a moment, you were jealous of the easy, uncomplicated way they talked and held hands in the small space between their bodies, you shook it off just as quickly — as you winked at the youngest Sinclair from the rearview mirror.

You'd never tell anyone, but Erica had always been your favorite.

Their conversation was once again forgotten, overshadowed by your racing thoughts and eagerness to get home as soon as you could, until you parked in front of Steve's house, where your younger friends would enjoy their official party of their High School years. There had been a long time without any ragers at Harringtons', not since Steve became one of the losers, but after the events of last Spring, he thought we could all use some innocent (probably not that innocent on his side, god only knows that boy needed to get laid), spooky fun.

You'd thoroughly agreed before your boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, put an end to all of your plans.

"Listen," you started, shutting the door of the driver's side of your car a little too violently while the kids gathered up outside, "if you get in any kind of trouble, call me. If you're gonna drink, or do any kind of drugs…" You're interrupted by groans and whines of 'really?' and 'we're not going to!', "don't do it alone, okay? And drink lots of water! Better safe than sorry, babies."

Most of that advice was just to mess with them, you knew they weren't anything like you when you were their age, but you cared too much about those miscreants to pretend that monsters and secret government organizations were the only obstacles they'd have to face in their teen years.

It's all a flurry of rolling eyes and quiet mumblings of "okay, whatever, we weren't gonna do any of that anyway" before they leave across the street to find the host of the party that was slowly, but surely, starting to fill in, groups of people coming into the house from both sides of the street, music echoing through the walls and into the evening air. Your heart clenched, heavy in your chest, wishing you could let go of the ache that was pulling you down and allow yourself to feel alive again, maybe just for one night.

You just about missed the pair of warm, brown eyes that watched you slouch back into your car and drive away.

On the other side of the street, Eddie Munson stood on the pristine front yard of the Harringtons' house, taking a long hit of his cigarette and rubbing the back of his hand over the eyeshadow spread on his eye, cursing and coughing when he realized the black stain it left behind on his skin.

He was uncomfortable and bored, listening to the deep bass line of Blondie's rapture coming from the house behind him, Debbie Harry's soft voice lulling him into a steady rhythm. He knew he was pushing it, coming to a place full of people, of people who half hated him at worst, half mistrusted him at best, even after his name was cleared. Worst of all, none of them understood his costume, which, to him, was the biggest insult of all.

Not knowing who Alice Cooper was supposed to be was one of the biggest treasons in his own, personal, Munson doctrine.

Now, he stood there, regretting every decision he had made that night, his leather pants pulling a little too tight on his legs and feeling a little too tempted to scrub the black eyeshadow from his face, thinking about a way to let his friends down gently when he bails on them.

His discomfort lasted until he saw your car pull up, and suddenly, leaving felt like a very, very bad idea.

Eddie was used to admiring you from a distance. From when he saw you for the first time, that fateful night at Reefer Rick's boathouse, it was all he could do without making a fool of himself. He didn't know how to carry himself around you, too caught up on your beauty, on your wit, or on how absolutely unattainable you were, to actually become close to you.

He watched you as one would watch the midday sun, high in the sky, with a hand in front of his eyes, protecting himself from being fully consumed by your light.

When you exited the car — Henderson, Mayfield and the Sinclairs following close behind — he noticed two things: your lack of a costume (or, rather, the fact that you were wearing something that was probably your pajamas, and looked incredible while at it), and the lack of a douchebag boyfriend beside you. 

Before he could walk over, perhaps use the kids as an excuse to talk to you, you left. Eddie was left halfway through the yard, a hand limp to his side as his cigarette laid long forgotten, and what must have been a ridiculous, confused expression on his face.

It didn't take long until Dustin and Erica found him, while Lucas and Max entered the house. 

"Hey, uh… where's Y/L/N going? Is she not… Is she not staying?" He swore he tried to act casual, but he knew from the expression on both his friends' faces that he wasn't doing a great job.

"Does it look like she's staying?" Erica crossed her arms, looking as intimidating as a little girl in all pink and glitter could look like. All he did was raise an eyebrow, and got one eyebrow raised right back at him.

Dustin was more understanding, in his Luke Skywalker costume, orange pilot suit and all. "She's not feeling well, man. Steve asked her if she could drive us because Nancy was already driving Mike and the Byers, but she went home."

"Oh." Again, he tried, to no avail, to hide the disappointment in his voice. Eddie Munson was, by no means, a good actor. "Do you know what happened?"

The boy opened his mouth to answer, but Erica beat him to the punch. "You know, I think she could really use some company tonight. No one wants to be alone on Halloween night, don't you think?"

She pulled Dustin away and towards the front door, eyes wise beyond her years giving him one final look before disappearing inside. 

Eddie knew she couldn't hear him as he screamed "I owe you one, Sinclair!" and rushed to the end of the street where his old van was parked, a sliver of hope and renewed excitement rushing through him like a live wire.

Scratch about what he said about regretting leaving his house that night, he had forgotten all about that as he sped to your place, a heavy guitar riff thundering hot on his trail.

You heard him before you saw him.

There was a horror film playing in your television, a blonde teenager running from a serial killer rolling on the screen, her terrified shrieks and the crescendo of the soundtrack filling the living room — not that you've been paying attention, you haven't been paying attention since a little after the beginning of the movie. You were too busy drinking your usual, cheap red wine straight from the bottle and stuck in your own thoughts, lying on the couch with only a blanket and your cat for company.

It approached slowly, the sound of his van's stereo. Then, it grew and grew, Quiet Riot's "Metal Health" seeming to echo through the entire neighborhood. It made you tumble out of the couch, feeling the effects of the alcohol rush to your head all at once, and running to the nearest window. You're still a tiny bit dizzy when you see him, after he stopped the engine and the music stopped, skipping out of the van and towards your front door.

You'd barely caught a glimpse of Eddie before you ran from the window, afraid to get caught. A million questions surged in that moment, the seconds between recollecting yourself and answering the loud ring of your doorbell, knowing who was waiting for you outside. How did he know you were home? Wasn't he busy tonight? What made him want to come to your place of all places?

All thoughts were cut short when you opened the door and saw him.

Under your front porch light, stood Eddie Munson, looking like every wet dream you had ever had.

Dressed in a tight, black tank top, a latex corset wrapped around his slim wait, and even tighter leather pants. Pale chest bare, it was the first time you were seeing his tattoos after visiting him at the hospital, months ago. He leaned in your doorway as soon as you opened it, a gentle smile in his full lips, brown eyes lined with a smudged layer of dark eyeshadow. Your legs might have given out if you didn't hold on to the wall. 

"Hey, Eddie." A greeting comes out as a gasp, letting out the breath that was stuck inside your throat. You hoped he couldn't tell how flustered you were, but if he did, you would blame the wine. "Is everything okay? Are the kids okay?"

It dawned on you that that must have been the reason he came all the way over to your house. You tried to bury down the wave of sudden anxiety when you watched his face fall slightly, before he replied “No, no, everything is fine. Uh… I just wanted to check on you, actually.”

The expression on your face — eyebrows pinched together in confusion — must have said it all, because then, he explained himself. “The littlest Sinclair said you might be needing some company tonight, but didn’t say why. I figured that if none of them were staying with you, then I might, if that’s okay.”

Eddie’s demeanor was uncharacteristically shy. He avoided your gaze, looking at the floor while speaking, but that only made you fonder — even then, he was still as sincere as always. Your heart did a little flip in your chest, warming you from the inside out, as you opened the door enough to let him pass, silently welcoming him in.

“Erica said that?”

“Yeah. Got me worried there for a second.” He eyed you with mirth from under his wild bangs while he toed off his combat boots and left them beside the other shoes on the floor near the door. That sweet, domestic sight didn’t go unnoticed but you had other things occupying your mind, such as a reminder to thank Erica for meddling in your Halloween night plans.

“There’s nothing to worry about, I’m fine. Just not in the mood to party, that’s all.”

“See, that doesn’t sound like you, Y/N.”

“How do you know that?”

“I guess I just know more about you than you’d think.”

You were still both standing in the small hallway that led to your living room, now staring at each other. Eddie felt out of place, next to the cream and beige shades of the wallpaper your mom chose when you moved there, in his all black ensemble, all leather and spikes and wild hair, but at the same time, you felt like he could belong there, if he stayed long enough.

You wished he would.

“I don’t know about that,” you sighed, “but if you want to stay and watch some movies, that would be more than okay.”

He smiled and leaned back, looking taller and impossibly handsome, dark eyes shimmering. You almost melted on your spot, but again, you wanted to blame it on the wine. 

“Lead the way, babe.”

At some point during the night, between one gruesome film and another, and a couple of bottles of wine being passed back and forth, you had scooted closer and closer together on your couch, until you were almost pressed flush against each other. Eddie was afraid to move and break whatever spell you seemed to be under, because he hadn't felt comfortable like that in a long time.

It was easy being around you. It hadn't been easy for Eddie to be around a lot of people, not since Spring Break, but with you, it took absolutely no effort to just be. To let go, to let his mind rest, to just focus on how warm the skin of your thigh was under your sweatpants, almost touching his, to make you laugh with his witty commentary of the awful movies you'd chosen to watch, to watch how beautiful you looked under the blue light of the television whenever you looked away from him.

He had it bad, that much he knew. Been smitten for a long time, enamored with the girl just out of his reach, but close enough to admire without guilt, but he wasn't about to let his feelings be known quite yet. Not when you were so close, so perfect, so… approachable, for the first time ever.

Eddie had never liked your boyfriend, from the first time he met him — just another Hawkins rich boy, swim team star, on his way to some fancy college out of state, and worst of all, he got to call you his. Unlike Steve Harrington, who managed to sway his usually unshakable opinion, Andrew just proved him right every time he had the unfortunate opportunity to meet him.

The first time he saw him was right after the dust had settled. He had just walked out of the hospital as a free man, mysteriously forgiven by the law enforcement that just a few days earlier was set on kicking him while he was down, and was received by his friends back at his trailer, a small committee complete with a handmade "welcome back!" sign and a cake baked by you. 

You, who welcomed him back with open arms and never stopped fighting for him, even if you'd only officially met a week before.

You'd spent that afternoon in his bedroom, along with his friends and his uncle, all sitting around his bed and reminiscing, happy to be there, happy to be alive. Still recovering from your wounds, seen and unseen, leaning on each other like a lifeline. He remember holding your hand that day, acutely aware of the ring on your finger, but doing it anyway — your hold never faltered, instead, you ran your thumb across the skin of his hand and smiled.

Was that what bliss felt like?

Later that day, you were the first to leave. Andrew came to pick you up, Dustin announced as he was the one to answer the door. A frown made its way to your face, if only for a second, and that was enough to make Eddie decide he didn't like the guy. Not only that but he insisted on walking you to the door, ignoring the protests coming from all around the room.

Walking slowly, as much as his still fresh bite wounds would allow, he let you lead him to his front door, a gentle hand on his back, guiding him. He didn't let himself feel bad for using his battered state to let you touch him without guilt, he could do that later, after the comforting warmth of your touch had stopped branding his skin. 

When you opened the door, that's when Eddie saw him. He knew Andrew hadn't been there during Spring Break, away with his family to some tropical destination, far from the horror they, you, had to endure. Eddie could tell he didn't care much either, letting you tend to your also still fresh wounds, both physical and mental, by yourself most of the time after he got back, only calling you when he needed something.

Eddie tells himself he would never let you out of his sight, if you were his girl, but there's also a lot of other things he likes to think about when he considers that scenario.

He watched you say goodbye, squeezing his shoulder before leaving and descending his trailer's stairs, down to your boyfriend's nice car and cold arms, leading you away from him, but not before leering him down at his own doorway, a condenscending, degrading look Eddie knew a little too well by now.

Not a word was spoken between the two, but there was no need, Eddie already made hating him into a new hobby.

With that sudden rememberance, your soft giggles bringing him back to the present, Eddie couldn't help but ask.

"What happened to your boyfriend?"

Without missing a beat, you chuckled, and responded without looking at him. "He dumped me."

"He what?" His question sounded a lot louder and high-pitched than he had intended. Eddie thought it would be easier for you to have dumped him other than the opposite.

Who would be stupid enough to let you go like that?

With a long sigh, you clicked the remote to pause the movie, and turned around to face him fully. He tried not to show how disappointed he was to lose the physical contact you had at that moment, but his hand clenched almost involuntarily, eager to reach out and pull you back. Where you belonged, his traitorous mind added.

"Dumped me, yeah." You sat with your legs crossed and he did the same, turning to hear you. "Last week. Unceremoniously, might I add, through the phone, even. I heard through the grapevine he's already dating someone else, but that might be just rumors, or maybe not, honestly I expect anything from him at this point."

Eddie's mind was reeling. "Was that why you didn't want to go out tonight?"

"That's part of the reason." You nod. "I just really don't wanna risk seeing him and Halloween is my favorite holiday, I don't want it more ruined than it already is."

The urge to punch the guy in the face was strong, stronger than it was when he was still recovering, when you were still together. It made him restless, fidgeting in his seat. The hand that lied limp at his side finally reached out, sitting on your knee and squeezing it only slightly. "I'm sorry. I know that it's not worth much, but I really am. You deserve better."

A weak smile formed on your lips, but it didn't reach your eyes. Eddie desperately wanted to make your face light up again. A brief idea struck him, then.

"Do you know where he might be tonight?"

"Benny's, probably. I don't know. I don't want to know." Despite your distress, you looked adorable with your nose scrunched and your head down, picking on your already chipped nail polish. Unable to help himself, Eddie finally reached out, his first unmistakably purposeful display of affection towards you — a little unsure, a little clumsy, but it still felt right — bringing his curled index finger below your chin, gently tipping your head up, making you meet his eyes.

"You might wanna know about what I'm thinking."

His voice was soft, but his dark eyes were full of mischief.

It was late when you got to Benny's. Not that anyone there would mind, the music inside was blasting loud enough that it could be heard for miles, and the people who were outside were all too intoxicated to mind your presence.

The basketball team, and seemingly every other jock affiliation at school, had a different party happening on Halloween night. They must have not gotten their big suburban house for themselves this year, Eddie thought. He would usually try to crash these parties, make some money out of the only few times these jocks didn't abhor his mere presence to his advantage, but things had changed for him, and for all it's worth, he had better things to do tonight.

Getting your ex-boyfriends back from what he did to you was his first priority. The second was making you forget all about him.

You and Eddie must have looked like quite a pair. He was still in his full costume, standing out from the more boring looking costumes the popular crowd opted for that evening, and you had put on the first outfit you saw after he'd told you his plan and whisked you away in his van. An old black sweater and ripped jeans, he saw your mismatched socks before you put on your boots, the ones that were already near the door. 

To him, you looked perfect, but he could tell how uncomfortable you were with all the people around you. Your ex's friends, he assumed. Eddie wondered if you were ever at these parties, and if Andrew even cared about how you felt about them. He doesn't want to think too much about it or he could feel himself get mad again.

"Hey," he brought a hand to your back, moving it up and down in a soothing manner, "we'll be in and out of here, 'kay?"

"Yeah, I know." Your smile was small, but Eddie was relieved to see it anyway. He promised himself he'd make convincing you to leave your house worth it, and he'll keep his promise.

"So… which one is his car?"

He watched you point to a tan-colored Jeep towards the end of the improvised parking lot. Silently, he grabbed your hand and led the way towards it. It wasn't a very well thought out plan, the one came up with whilst he seethed thinking about an asshole like that dumping a girl like you. It demanded serious action, in his humble opinion.

Property damage, more like it.

Eddie had been trying to stay out of trouble since the events of last March. He'd been officially cleared of all charges, something to do with the reappearance of Chief Hopper and his connections with the government. The details were foggy, he barely remembered signing all of those documents, still in his hospital bed and hazy from the medication. Wayne probably knew more than he did, but Eddie never asked too many questions.

He tried to go on as normally as he could, working odd jobs here and there as his body recovered, doing his best to heal his mind too. He stopped selling, graduated in May, spent more time with his new found friends — his new found family — and his old ones. Started dreaming about a girl who belonged to someone else, foolishly hoping that someday she would be his.

Not so foolish now, those dreams seemed.

Keeping out of trouble was surprisingly easy after you'd barely escaped life in prison, or worse — Eddie discovered there were far worse things than getting locked up, or living up to his family name. After all that, a minor misdemeanor was worth it if it was going to make you smile, at least in his eyes.

When you approached the Jeep, he could tell there was something going on in there. If he noticed, you noticed it as well, inching closer to it, slowly, trying to not get caught. The car was not empty, there were two people in front seats, making out — your ex and a girl Eddie did not recognize.

The first thing he felt was your grip on his hand tighten, and when he turned his body around to look at you, you looked away. Heartbroken, a dejected look on your pretty face, lips turned into a frown. It was almost like you didn't want to be seen at that moment, trying to hide, but Eddie couldn't let you. His own heart breaking for you, but willing to do whatever it took to mend it.

He took your face in both of his hands, urging you to look at him. "You don't need to get any closer, all right? Let me handle it, it was my idea. We won't spend more than five minutes here, I promise. Then I'll take you home, or we can go wherever you want. Far away from him, okay?"

"Okay. It's okay. I trust you, Eddie." 

The chill he's been feeling having foregone his jacket is readily forgotten as he takes in how sweet your eyes look in the low light of the street. He runs his thumb over your cheek just briefly before letting you go, going over to Andrew's car.

Thankfully for the height of the car, it was easy for Eddie to crouch and quickly grab the butterfly knife he usually kept on the inside pocket of his jacket — for safety measures, especially after being almost eaten alive, he didn't feel well without a weapon within close proximity. Call him crazy, but maybe there's always demobats to be fought, or asshole ex-boyfriends to screw over.

He cringed as he noticed the car starting to shake slightly, and prayed that you'd kept looking away. Eddie made a quick job of it — light on his feet, he slashed each of the four tires, and as he watched them slowly deflate, he ran towards you. You looked at him, covering your mouth to hide your nervous laughter, and he put his finger to his mouth, signaling you to keep quiet.

Together, you ran. Eddie didn't know who grabbed whose hand first, but when he came to himself you were running in the direction of his van, and you were giggling openly, making him smile until his cheeks hurt in turn. When you stopped, panting and still laughing, none of you let go.

"I can't believe we did that."

"I did that. You just watched, sweetheart."

Rolling your eyes, you pulled him a little closer by the hand you were holding. "Still, you're my hero, Eddie Munson."

"Couldn't stand thinking about what that dick did to you. He never deserved you in the first place."

He thought he'd said something wrong when you didn't say anything right away, but he was pleasantly surprised when you finished closing the distance between you, capturing his bottom lip between yours in a delicate kiss. He stood there, shocked for a second, before bringing his hands to your waist, drawing you to his chest.

Your arms around his neck, his traveling to your back, the sound of the deep bass coming from the inside of Benny's drowning everything around you. You were all he could feel, your soft lips melding with his, taking in all the little noises you made when he touched you just right. Feeling you under his touch was kind of surreal, like he couldn't believe it was happening just yet.

He swallowed the sigh you let out, just before drawing away, looking for air. "What was that?"

"Just a thank you, for now." You pointed with another peck to his lips.

"For now? What's for later?"

"Take me home like you promised and you'll find out."

"Baby, you don't need to…," not even he expected the pet name, or what followed, "you know, thank me like that. Or at all! I wasn't expecting anything from you…"

Before he could say anymore, you silenced him with another kiss, this time sucking on his bottom lip and letting him deepen it, taking the opportunity to sneak his tongue into your mouth, getting lost in the taste of you. Eddie walked you back until you hit the side of his van, his hand covering the back of your head, softening the impact.

He couldn't bear to hold himself back any longer, and you didn't seem to want him to slow down either, pulling him impossibly closer by his hair, making him moan into your mouth.

"I know you weren't, but I've been wanting to do this for a long time."

"Yeah?" He tilted his head, running his hands under your sweater, feeling your warm skin under your shirt, "Not longer than me, I'm sure."

"Wanna bet?"

The rest of the night was a blur. When Eddie woke up the next morning, naked on your bed, all he could remember was spending through the streets, dividing his already thin attention between kissing you and the steering wheel, drinking wine on your couch until you started taking your clothes off, and stumbling up the stairs while he removed his.

You slept peacefully beside him, your hair like a halo around your head, faint purple hickies on your neck. Though his mind was foggy, and his head ached with a hangover he was sure to blame your cheap wine, he didn't regret a thing he did the night before.

Later, when you woke up, after he spent looking at your ceiling and wondering how did he get so lucky, you got under the sheets and thanked him some more.

[rebo-chan]

I've been thinking about KHR's bonds. (When am I not?) And I've thought about the way that Amano likes to write bonds. You'd be pressed in this fandom to find people who don't care about at least one area of it whether that's the Vongola kids, Varia, the Arcobaleno, Kokuyo, etc. After a conversation with my best friend, I realized it's kinda interesting how Amano has somehow successfully created so many realistic bonds for such a diverse cast. Like we see so little of them, but you'd be pressed to convince the KHR fans that the funeral wreaths don't adore Byakuran.

So there's the thing right? Katekyo hitman reborn is the shonen that is 100% about the power of friendship. Like yes other shounens use it and its a meme for a reason, but they also have other stuff going on. Other motivations. Other theming. Meanwhile Tsuna growing up and becoming a better person for his friends /is/ the theme of Reborn. That is the entire motivation for the series. There's no grandiose scheme where Tsuna will save the Mafia world and be the chosen one, though the series tries to put Tsuna in this position to his chagrin.

As evidenced by the scene in Future arc, where Tsuna is unable to light his ring because he is so stressed about sending everyone back to the future and fighting this unknown powerful enemy. And so Reborn walks up and tells him "You're not a hero. Stop trying to be. It's not like you. What were you thinking about when you first lit your flame?" And he responded with "I just..wanted to protect Kyoko." Reborn satisfied with that answer then asks, "And who do you want to protect now?" And Tsuna answers with "Everyone." And then his ring lit up. That's the core to the series!! Right there!! All it ever was 403 chapters worth of these characters just wanting to protect each other.

So, in talking to my best friend, he pointed out that outside of daily life arc, these characters don't really have moments of vulnerability towards each other. Frankly, it seems the cast of KHR is allergic to being vulnerable. There aren't that many scenes of "you guys are important to me. I love you guys." Y'know stuff that tells the audience yeah these guys are close. And when Tsuna TRIES to have these moments, like with Reborn, Reborn pretends like he's asleep and doesn't hear Tsuna say that he's going to save him. Yet somehow, we all understand that these characters love each other so deeply.

And that made me realize it's all in the dialogue and actions, rather than inherent bonding moments. It's Reborn clenching his fist when Tsuna is getting gravely injured by Daemon. It's Yamamoto and Gokudera having a fight about Gokudera not being worthy of being Tsunas right hand man as Gokudera doesn't care for the other members of their family. And Gokudera never addressing this again, there's no verbal indication that Gokudera even heard Yamamotos criticism. Yet later during Merone invasion, Gokudera reaches a hand out to catch Yamamoto when they're getting separated. And later, he protects Ryoheis unconscious body as he is fighting Gamma to the death. It's Byakuran saving the funeral wreaths from their miserable lives and them protecting him even when he begins to strike them down. It's the way Mukuro runs to assist Chrome when she is in danger, or swears up and down that he is not allied with Tsuna but also feeds the Vongola information about Byakuran. It's the way Squalo refuses to cut his hair for his vow to Xanxus, or Mammon's gratitude towards Xanxus's willingness to fight for them. It's Ken ensuring that Chrome is always fed by giving her the snacks and candy they bought. These characters don't need bonding moments, their love for each other shines through their every breath and finger twitch.

And I think that's a fascinating way to write a connection on Amanos behalf. And it was done so well we can't even argue that these characters all love each other.

The way I summarized it is most characters love each other because they spend time together and improve together. KHR characters spend time together and get better together because they love each other

Anyway that's it for this one. Please let me know any dialogue/actions that drive you guys mad about these characters 👀 I know this series is full of them.

[steddieas-shegoes]

more than everything else

For @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt ‘proposal’ wc: 999 rated m cw: suggestive language | tags: domestic fluff, sappy and romantic

💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍

“Steve! Freezer’s working again!” Eddie yelled from his spot on the floor behind their previously defunct freezer.

Eddie insisted he could fix it himself, hence the hours he’d spent on the floor with tools that weren’t doing anything and a lip bitten until it bled.

“Told you if you took your shirt off it would work faster,” Steve said from the doorway, hands on his hips as he took in the sight of Eddie being half naked.

Sweat dripping down his chest.

A bruise forming on his side where he’d dropped a wrench on himself earlier.

His newest tattoo peeling because he’d forgotten to put Vaseline on it earlier.

“I always listen to you, sweetheart,” Eddie smirked as he stood up. “You got any plans later?”

“I actually do remember something on the calendar.”

Eddie walked over to him, covered Steve’s hands with his own and rocked him side to side. “Damn.”

“Why? You wanna make plans?” Steve raised a brow.

“I thought I could get a reward for all my hard work today,” Eddie pouted his bottom lip out, eyes widening as he leaned further into Steve’s space. “Maybe in the bedroom?”

“Reward? For fixing the freezer that you broke?”

“I seem to remember someone saying that the freezer was just ‘old’ and that this ‘could’ve happened to anyone.’ Or am I mistaken?” Eddie let go of Steve’s hands but stayed close to him.

“I’m not sure who said that. I do remember someone saying that if you turned it down too far for too long, it would break, though. Maybe you can recall who said that?” Steve leaned in to peck his lips softly, teasing just a little with his fingers along the waistband of Eddie’s pants. “Seems like a smart guy.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well. At least the guy who broke it could fix it.”

“That’s right, baby.” Steve backed away. “Now. I’ve got baked chicken spaghetti in the oven for dinner and I made cookies earlier if you-“

“Marry me.”

Steve froze, his eyes widened.

Maybe Eddie could’ve been more eloquent, more romantic.

Shit, maybe he could do that still.

He reached for Steve’s hands, smiling softly at him as his eyes darted between Eddie’s, searching for him to say that it was a joke.

“I’m serious.” Eddie kissed his forehead before continuing. “You think I survived the hell of ‘86 to not end up with Steve Harrington? You think I’ve spent nearly every day of the last six years trying to be the best partner you could ask for, the kind you deserve? You make me wanna be more than everything else.”

“What-“

Eddie shushed him with a kiss. “When I was little, like barely old enough to ride a bike, my mom brought me to a flower shop. She said I had to pick a nice flower for my teacher so she knew I was a sweet kid. I picked a daffodil. She laughed and said ‘you know the love of my life always brought my a daffodil’ and when I asked why dad didn’t bring them to her anymore she said ‘he never did.’ And as I got older I realized what that meant. I never could ask her about it, but I eventually asked Wayne. He said-“ Eddie sniffed, biting his lip trying not to cry. “He said sometimes the love you get isn’t what makes you feel better than everything else, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to feel more than everything else. And I still didn’t quite get it, ya know? Made no damn sense to me when I was 13. Kinda thought Wayne was high.” Steve laughed, Eddie smiled. “But then I saw you in the cafeteria one day, and I saw the way you held the door open for some of the band kids even though Tommy was teasing you for it. And I saw how much you did for me at my worst, even before you had a reason to, before you knew it would be worth more. I see how you love, and how you keep loving, even when some people may not deserve it. I feel how much you are, how much more you can still be. And how much I wanna be more to be worthy of you. I don’t have much, you know I don’t, but you love me anyway. And you make me wanna be more.”

Steve’s tears were falling rapidly, a sob escaping at the end of Eddie’s words as he fell forward, his tears soaking Eddie’s shirt instantly.

“You’re enough for me,” he finally managed to say against Eddie’s neck. “You’ve always been enough for me. I don’t want more. I just want you.”

“I know, sweet love. I know.” Eddie’s arms tightened around him. “You think you could marry me?”

“Eds. I would marry you every day if we could.” Steve sniffed as he pulled away. “We can’t really do it, though.”

“Maybe not. But we can wear rings, tell everyone. I can call you my husband around the people who love us.”

That was a hell of a thought.

Husbands.

“You’re sure you want that?”

“Of course I am. Who else is gonna fix your freezer when it breaks?”

“Maybe you could try not to break it in the first place.” Steve smacked his shoulder. He kissed him slowly, tongue brushing against his bottom lip but not looking for more. “But I guess it would be nice to have someone around all the time to fix the stuff he breaks.”

“Hey!”

“I love you.”

It was that simple.

“So. My reward?”

“My hand in marriage.” Steve turned away and looked over his shoulder. “And maybe my hand in other places. If you hurry up and shower.”

“I’ll be done in five. Be naked on the kitchen table-“

“Eddie, not-“

“The kitchen table!”

Steve rolled his eyes but threw his shirt to the floor and winked before making his way to the kitchen. “Five minutes!”

[merwgue]

The Inner Circle of A Court of Thorns and Roses is hailed as the epitome of loyalty, friendship, and found family. They’re supposed to be this tight-knit group, bonded through centuries of love, battles, and shared trauma. But when you look a little closer, the cracks start to show. What you really see is a collection of people who are absolutely terrible at communicating, drowning in their own insecurities, and sticking together not because they’re close, but because they’re too scared to admit they’ve outgrown each other.

Let’s break it down member by member, shall we? Because when you’re supposedly best friends for 500 years but can’t have a single meaningful conversation, something’s definitely off.

Introduction: The Dysfunctional "Family" Facade

From the outside, the Inner Circle looks like they have it all figured out. They’ve survived wars, tyranny, and centuries of scheming. We’re supposed to believe they’re this unstoppable force of loyalty and support. But really? They’re more like coworkers who’ve been trapped in the same office for too long—resentful, stuck, but too afraid of what happens when someone leaves. The so-called "family" dynamic? It’s just a mask for the toxic undercurrents simmering beneath the surface, built on insecurities they never talk about.

And what do they do instead of facing their problems? Avoidance. These people can strategize wars, but can’t manage a single honest conversation about their feelings. Let’s dig in.

Mor: The Perpetual Closet Case

Let’s start with Mor. Sweet, beautiful, 500-years-in-the-closet Mor. She’s been hiding her true sexuality from her "family" for centuries. Five. Whole. Centuries. That’s half a millennium of friendship, and she still doesn’t trust them enough to tell them something so fundamental about who she is. You’d think in all that time, one of them would notice. But nope. They’re either willfully ignorant or too self-absorbed to care.

How, exactly, is this supposed to be a sign of a healthy, supportive friendship? Mor is terrified of how her family might react. Her fear of rejection is so intense, she’d rather live a lie than face it. Imagine the level of insecurity that takes. And what does that say about the Inner Circle? That they’re so wrapped up in their own issues they haven’t created a safe enough space for her to be herself. Not exactly the beacon of love and acceptance we’ve been sold, is it?

Azriel: The Silent Brooder

Next up, Azriel. Oh, Azriel. The brooding spymaster with the scarred hands and a heart that’s constantly in the shadows. He’s spent centuries feeling dirty, unworthy, and just generally terrible about himself because of his profession and his past. His insecurities? They run deep. He feels tainted because of what he does for a living. As if centuries of assassination and spy work might leave someone feeling a little… well, haunted.

But here’s the thing—Azriel never talks about it. And no one in his precious Inner Circle bothers to ask. He’s been best friends with Rhysand and Cassian for, what, 500 years? Yet, they don’t once sit him down and ask, “Hey, how are you feeling about all the blood on your hands, buddy?” It’s like they don’t even see him beyond his usefulness. Azriel’s their little shadow puppet, and no one cares that the strings are cutting into him.

It’s honestly impressive how completely detached they are from each other’s emotional lives. But sure, they’re family.

Cassian: The "I’m Fine, Really!" General

Now let’s talk about Cassian, the big tough general with the soft, gooey center of crippling insecurity. Cassian grew up in a war camp, surrounded by people who told him he was worthless. So naturally, he spends his entire life trying to prove that he’s good enough, strong enough, worthy enough. And yet, no matter how many battles he wins or how many times he saves the day, he still feels like the poor kid in the back of the room.

But what’s really sad is that he’s never once confided this to anyone in the Inner Circle. He’s too busy playing the role of the cocky warrior, cracking jokes, and throwing punches. Does anyone ask him if maybe he’s feeling a little insecure about, you know, everything? Nope. Because the Inner Circle only cares about the surface. As long as Cassian keeps being the muscle, no one cares what’s going on inside his head. They don’t want to deal with feelings, after all. That’s too messy.

So, Cassian carries on, pretending he’s totally fine while never addressing the mountain of insecurity that’s been weighing on him for centuries. Classic.

Rhysand: The Martyr Complex

Finally, we have Rhysand. The High Lord with the savior complex. The man who’s been through the wringer—Under the Mountain, the whole "I’ll sacrifice myself for my people" shtick. But here’s the thing: Rhysand is a mess of insecurities too. For all his swagger and power, he’s constantly second-guessing himself. Is he a good leader? Is he doing enough? Does anyone even like him beyond his titles and power? Who knows, because Rhysand never lets anyone in long enough to find out.

Rhysand’s solution to everything is control. Control over Velaris, control over his friends, control over his own emotions. He doesn’t let anyone see the cracks because that would make him look weak. And in his head, being weak means losing everything. So, he bottles it all up and keeps going, never asking for help, never showing vulnerability. The Inner Circle never presses him on it either, because that might disrupt the perfect image they’ve all constructed of their fearless leader.

Rhysand, like the rest, is drowning in his own issues, and no one throws him a lifeline. Not that he’d take it if they did.

The Unspoken Truth: They're Not Friends, They’re Trapped

What’s the saddest part of all this? They never talk to each other. Mor doesn’t tell them about her sexuality. Azriel doesn’t tell them about his self-loathing. Cassian doesn’t tell them how he feels like the poor kid playing soldier. Rhysand doesn’t tell them about his fears of failure. They all just pretend.

Friends are supposed to be there for each other, right? They’re supposed to talk, to confide in one another. But the Inner Circle? They’re just stuck together. At this point, they’ve been friends for so long, they don’t even know how to live without each other. The Inner Circle isn’t a family; it’s a crutch. They lean on it because it’s safe, not because they actually support each other.

They’ve created this perfect little façade where they’re loyal and loving, but underneath it, they’re crumbling. They’re all insecure, all hurting, and none of them trust each other enough to talk about it. They’re more comfortable hiding their true selves than they are being vulnerable with their so-called family.

Conclusion: A Dysfunctional Dependency

In the end, the Inner Circle is toxic—to each other. They’re not this close-knit group of friends who support each other through thick and thin. They’re a dysfunctional mess of insecurities and emotional avoidance, all too afraid to confront their own issues or each other’s. They stick together because they’re too dependent on this illusion of family to let go. It’s not about love, it’s about fear—fear of being alone, fear of facing their own demons, and fear of what happens when they stop playing the roles they’ve been stuck in for centuries.

At this point, the Inner Circle isn’t really a family. It’s just a habit they can’t break. And honestly, it’s not doing any of them any favors.

[starspyder]

𝘐 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘔𝘺 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘕𝘦𝘢𝘵 // 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳

Summary: Dean Winchester is a hardened man. While he would love to, he can’t maintain a proper relationship due to his line of work. With how much of a sweetheart you are, Dean finds it almost impossible to keep you at an arm’s distance.

Warnings: implied age gap but it's not fully mentioned (reader is 27, Dean is 40 in this if ur curious), moderate angst, AQUAPHOBIA WARNING (almost-drowning), witches, canon-typical violence, Dean saves you hehe, fluff, lowkey grumpy x sunshine, Dean is in denial and thinks you deserve better than him, self-hatred, guilt on Dean’s part, you’re both into each other but he’s so scared of hurting you, Southern!Reader bc i said so hehehe, Dean is YEARNING

Gif from Pinterest

Word Count: 1462

Dean would never consider himself soft. Sure, he was good with kids, but only because he basically had to raise Sam by himself. Those experiences in his own childhood slipped from his hands like sand in an hourglass, and that little ball of softness went right with it. 

Until one case in Louisiana, when it practically fell right into his arms. 

He and Sam had been there tracking a coven of witches in New Orleans, like something straight out of American Horror Story. Based on the news reports, the victims were all friends or family of one of the suspected witches– likely her initiation into the group, to prove she was worthy. A young girl had gotten caught in the crossfire, simply because she was roommates with one of them, and accidentally led the Winchesters right to the coven. 

He’d seen you right before they began the real hunt, having gone back to your house for a final round of questioning. Truthfully, he’d gone by to flirt his way into checking the house for any hex bags, but your witchy roommate was good about keeping it out of her living space. When he didn’t find anything, he couldn’t seem to deny your offer for a cup of coffee, while you did your best to inquire about the case. 

“Why do you think Rebecca is involved?” You asked, somewhat nervously. 

You sat across from Dean as he sat on the couch, cross-legged in a papasan chair, one hand tapping your thigh nervously and the other holding your floral patterned mug. 

“We’re just trying to rule her out as a suspect, Ma’am. As soon as we do that, the sooner we can get to figuring out what’s been happening around here.” He had reassured you. “Are you sure you haven’t been noticing any irregularities in her routine?” 

“We have each other on some tracking app, just to be safe, y’know? She tells me that she leaves her job at 7:30 every Thursday, which is a fifteen minute drive from here. Rebecca would always tell me when she should be home, just in case anything happened,” You sighed. 

Dean’s eyebrows raised as he waited patiently for you to continue. 

“About three months ago, she just kinda’ stopped doin’ it. She’s been going out a lot more than normal, with a big group of girls��� met ‘em at work, she said.” “Do you know where they’ve been going?” 

“Mostly just to clubs around town. I checked one day because she hadn’t been home all night and I was worried. Her last location was some place near Lake Pontchartrain, a few miles deep into the woods. I tried finding it online, but nothing turned up. Rebecca hates being outside, she hates camping and all that stuff, so there’s no reason for her to be there.” 

“Do you happen to have an exact location?” 

Your head shook. “It’s a big area, not a lot of cell towers.” 

Dean leaned forward and took your hand, which had still been tapping against your leg. “I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, Sweetheart.” The next night, a Thursday, Sam and Dean had tracked the coven down to some ritual spot in the middle of the forest. It didn’t take them long, considering that half a mile out, they could hear terrified cries for help. 

They found you, tied to a tree and begging for your life as the witches teased and taunted you– even the girl who you told them you considered your best friend. 

“You know, Y/N, you’re just too sweet sometimes. You even let an entire coven slip under your nose, because you couldn’t think for a second that your best friend would ever hurt you.” Rebecca sneered, kneeling in front of you and tracing the swell of your cheek with a knife.

“Please, Becca, don't hurt me, I won’t tell anyone!” You cried, tugging against the ropes that cut into your wrists. 

Dean was ready to jump out and kill her right then, but Sam’s arm across his chest kept him at bay. For now. “Don’t hurt me! Please, spare me. Killing you is the key to getting everything I’ve ever wanted! You’re the one who kept telling me to do what I wanted for once!” Dean watched as the large bonfire cast an orange glow over your terrified features, and his chest ached that he couldn’t quell that fear. It made him think back to Lisa, how much he cared for her. Only after a week, wasDean absolutely enamored with you. 

It didn’t take long for the brothers to swing into action, killing the witches with surprising ease. They were plenty in number, but their skill couldn’t rival the brothers’ experience. 

As Sam cut your ropes, Dean was chasing after Rebecca as she chanted out a string of Latin. By the time he killed her, the damage had been done and you were writhing on the forest floor, water coming out of your mouth like there was a well in your lungs. 

You collapsed into Dean’s arms, grasping at your throat as your eyes watered, chest heaving through the pain. 

“Find the fucking bag!” Dean yelled, maneuvering you on your knees, face pointed at the ground as you drowned in open air. Sam dropped to the ground, fumbling through piles of leaves and dirt to find the offending item. In the scramble, the hex bag was kicked near the fire, causing Dean to yank his gun out and shoot it, breaking the spell. 

You gasped for breath like a fish out of water as you coughed up the last of the water wheezing and panicking from the fear. “It's okay, you’re safe.” Dean comforted, holding you to his chest as your body was wracked with sobs.

“I’ve got you, Sweetheart.” 

When they were leaving town, Dean made one last stop to visit you in the hospital where you were recovering. 

“How are you feelin’, Sweetheart?” He asked, sitting next to your hospital bed. The doctors had decided to keep you for observation for a few days, citing potential damage to your lungs. 

“Like hell,” You said with a grin. “Y’all headin’ off?” 

Dean nodded. “Gotta head back home. Do you have anywhere you’re planning on going once you’re out of this dump?” 

“Not really. I don’t have any family I’m close to, so nobody to couch-surf with. I’m definitely leavin’, though. ‘M not quite sure where I’ll end up.” 

He could hear the tinge of sadness in your voice. He knew what it was like to not have a family, a place to call home. He knew it all too well. 

“Come with us.” 

The rest was history. 

Dean couldn’t help but think back to that day often. How lucky he was to have saved at least one life that day. Your life. 

He often felt dirty. You were a bright young girl, who could’ve had a great future, had you not been caught up in the mess of their lives. Not once did you ever complain, going with the flow and learning what you could to help them. You were so selfless, almost to a fault; you put up with his temper, his yelling, and when he was feeling particularly annoying. You helped clean his wounds when he was hurt, and when he was once sick, you made him tomato and rice soup, that tasted just like what Mary would make when he still held his innocence. 

Dean took his whiskey neat, while you stuck to those same girly cocktails that Sam swore he didn't like.

You were too good to be tarnished by the likes of Dean Winchester. 

Dean would always be an eternally bitter man who was constantly angry at something. He rose early due to incessant nightmares, drinking black coffee at three in the morning to stave off his near constant exhaustion. When those nightmares were about you, as they often were, nowadays, he would poke his head in your bedroom just a few doors down, his heart rate calming at how soft you looked, wrapped up in your blankets and a small light on your desk casting a warm light around the room. 

Your skin would always glow under the light, illuminating your features and the curve of your nose, how your hair fell into your face and how you would let out a wistful sigh every so often. 

You were such a stark contrast to the man who stood in your doorway almost every night. If Dean was marble, you were a flower that could be crushed under it. He was the knife, you were the sacrificial lamb. No matter what universe, Dean would ultimately be your demise, just like everyone else in his life. 

As he would gently close the door, he would take one last look at you and whisper one sentence. 

“You’re too sweet for me.”

[ikeuverse]

DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY — l.heeseung

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader  GENRES: fluff, angst  WC: 15.3k+

WARNINGS: mention of betrayal (not between heeseung and y/n), swearing, arguing, drinking alcohol, mention of sex, and i think that's it. let me know if i've forgotten anything, please.

SYNOPSIS: lee heeseung is afraid to say the three famous words out loud, and he knows that because he didn't, he lost you once. and he doesn't want that to happen again.

NOTES: first of all, more than 15k words? maybe i got carried away or idk i was abstaining from writing... this is the longest story I've ever written on this tumblr (so far). i've had this idea for a while and i've also read similar things, but never with heeseung being the one who can't say i love you. i decided to do it the way i imagined it would be, so i hope you like it!

masterlist

Your fingers circled the wine glass as she looked at your flatmate and best friend. The tip of her nose was red from crying and, with a little more wine in her glass, she drank it all in one gulp.

"You're going to get drunk like that" your voice came out low, to warn her, not scolding her.

"That's the point" Hyojin smiled without any humor, pouring some more and showing you that it was over.

One more bottle, she hissed in your direction and you got up to get it from the fridge. Your best friend wasn't kidding when she told you to go to the market and buy six bottles of wine for the evening.

Break-ups are hard, you think, although you've never really experienced them. You just follow your friends and even your favorite movies and characters. But the worst break-up is when the guy swears his love, asks you to marry, and then says he's been offered a job on the other side of the country.

It happened to Hyojin. Her relationship with Seungho was perfect, worthy of a movie script, you'd think. They met in their last year of high school – you met Hyojin in your first year of college, so Seungho came with baggage. And every year on that university campus the two of them stood out because they were so close and loving towards each other.

After graduating, the two moved in together and after a year Seungho asked her to marry him. You still remember Hyojin's eyes shining as brightly as that ring on her finger while your best friend giggled on the sofa in their small apartment.

"I'm getting married" she said, and you agreed. Because of the two of you, she was even more likely to do it because of your long-standing relationship, while you had never been in a relationship. Not even a serious one.

After months of engagement, Seungho said that he had been offered a job on the other side of the country. Hyojin had always encouraged him, so there was no hesitation when she helped him pack for the trip. But not before shedding a few tears over the constant conversations they had when he stayed at the couple's apartment to make the final arrangements.

"Are you sure we'll work out from a distance?" he asked one night, looking deep into Hyojin's eyes as he sighed. Even though she didn't know what he was asking, she only agreed and assured him that she would wait for him, or even try to ask for a transfer from her work to the headquarters less than an hour from where Seungho said he would be staying.

But there was no time. The shock of seeing Seungho going to the other side of the country and getting into a relationship with a woman from the company made Hyojin's stomach turn.

I was being betrayed the whole time, she mumbled through sobs as you tried to calm her down in the middle of the apartment your best friend shared with her - now - ex-fiancé.

How could Hyojin never have suspected? How could you never see that he was capable of this? Was Seungho so fake as to deceive Hyojin's family, her friends and everyone around to show himself to be an honest man while having an affair with a woman from his work?

"Maybe we should go to his new job and set fire to his new office" Sora, another friend of the two of you, suggested while pouring some more chocolate ice cream.

Sneakily, you picked up your phone and stared at your friend.

"I think I'll ask Jake to put our contact in the emergency room in case he needs help" you commented. Jake was Sora's boyfriend and your best friend at college. He had also met Seungho and hated the whole thing, but he had to divide himself between looking after his best friend – with the help of his girlfriend – and Hyojin's brother who was fighting the urge to kill his younger sister's ex-fiancé.

The whole issue itself leads up to the moment in question where, one more night, Hyojin falls into the weakness of feeling sad again. Crying and wondering where she had gone wrong all this time that she hadn't noticed a single sign that she was being betrayed.

All this guilt consumed you all the more for being your best friend for so long that you couldn't even say anything. So your apology was to buy more wine and let your best friend, and now flatmate, drink as much as she wanted.

Asking Hyojin to move in with you after the breakup was the least you could do since she didn't want to stay where she was either. Nothing that reminded of her ex was something to be proud of. So the further away she was, the better off she would be.

"Maybe you need to go to bed now" you said sleepily, yawning and leaving your glass halfway down.

"No, of course not" she was cheerful, even if her whole face looked a bit swollen from the amount of crying she'd done "How about we have a party?"

"Now?" you widened your eyes as you picked up your cell phone to check the time.

One o'clock in the morning.

"Hyojin, let's go to bed" you stood up and tried to take her by the hand, but your friend sidestepped you and took the device from her. Unlocking it and typing a few things "What are you doing?"

Hyojin didn't answer, putting the phone on speaker.

"Hyojin…"

"Hyojin?" the thick, sleepy voice on the other end of the line indicated that it was a boy. Sleepy and a little inebriated, you narrowed your eyes to see the caller ID.

"Hey, brother" she laughed softly and then looked at you, her eyes so small that you could see the effect of so many bottles of wine.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" he said. A rustle on the other end of the line indicated that he was stirring in bed to get up, apparently waking from his peaceful slumber.

"Y/n's fault, she bought me a drink."

"Motherfucker" you whispered.

"Can I talk to y/n?" he asked at the same moment you cursed your best friend.

With a mischievous, cheeky grin, Hyojin agreed without protest and gave you her cell phone. Before he did anything, your gaze followed your friend out of the kitchen as she said needed to go to the bathroom. He then took the handset off the speakerphone.

"Y/n?" he called this time.

"Hi, Heeseung" you didn't know why you'd swallowed, even though you weren't face to face, you could imagine the small smile he gave when you said his name.

"Can you keep her awake for a few minutes until I get there?" he asked. You couldn't see, but Heeseung had the speakerphone on just to get out of his pajamas and into more comfortable clothes, putting on his sneakers and picking up the handset again.

"What? You're coming—"

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?" there was no denying it since you remembered how protective Heeseung was of Hyojin. So you could only agree with your best friend's older brother "Okay, I'll call you on her cell phone to let you know I've arrived."

And before you could even process that Heeseung had hung up, Hyojin arrived in the kitchen.

"So… Did you miss my brother's voice?" she asked in a mischievous tone, making you roll your eyes.

"You're drunk and delirious" you were holding her cell phone in your hands, laughing as your best friend hugged you by the shoulders "Now let's stay on the couch until Heeseung gets here."

"He's coming over? Did you ask?"

"No" you said simply, ending the conversation at that moment as Hyojin walked into the living room to sit down, waiting for his brother.

While you divided your attention between the device and your best friend, yawning a few times and feeling that the drunkenness was gradually wearing off. At the same time, your heart began to race, and you just wanted to push away the thought that the reason was coming in fifteen minutes.

Heeseung had arrived in fifteen minutes, or even less, you couldn't tell. He talked to you to try to find out how many bottles Hyojin had drunk and if she had done anything other than call him.

No. All the answers were no and Heeseung was relieved to know that you were taking such good care of his sister.

You tried to reassure him that everything was fine and that he could rest, but knowing your overprotection and big-brother instincts, it was nothing new that Heeseung would take Hyojin to bed and sleep there.

Nor would it be news that the next morning you would be sitting on one of the stools facing the kitchen worktop watching Heeseung cook breakfast.

Your sleepy voice made him laugh to himself as he asked you what you liked to eat. Pancakes with extra chocolate icing was a good one, a little blood glucose, and a good strong coffee without sugar to balance out the hangover. It all blended so well in your mouth that you almost let out a compliment louder than: thank you, this is amazing.

It wasn't long before Hyojin woke up, much worse off than you, and joined the bench next to you to eat breakfast.

"What will you have?" Heeseung asked in a low tone, already preparing himself for the next words.

"Don't shout, I've got a headache" Hyojin spoke, he just moved his lips as if imitating her, already knowing exactly what she would say. You laughed, only to be reprimanded by your best friend.

"Okay, strong coffee first" Heeseung whispered and poured some of the strong brown liquid into a cup he had already set aside for her.

While Hyojin drank, you finished your chocolate pancakes and stared at your best friend next to you. But that didn't stop you from feeling the weight of the pair of eyes in front of you. You didn't want to turn and face Heeseung, but you knew he was looking at you.

The three of you remained silent for long minutes until Hyojin had recovered – after three long cups of coffee – opting to go and sit at the table since the kitchen counter wouldn't be as comfortable to hold a conversation staring at each other.

"Well…" Heeseung began, looking at you until he focused on Hyojin "Six bottles? Really?"

A short silence is maintained until she clicks her tongue inside her mouth, bringing the cup halfway to her lips and taking a sip of coffee.

"Last time I managed to outdo myself, it was nine bottles" she laughed to herself, knowing it wasn't funny, but wanting to get rid of the tense atmosphere and the two of them staring at her with concern.

"Did he call you?" he let slip after a while. Hyojin didn't want to appear fragile now, so you just huffed and made a point of getting up. Perhaps this was a private conversation between the brothers and you didn't want to get involved.

"No" Hyojin said as she grabbed your arm, so that answer had a double meaning – both for Heeseung and for your leaving the kitchen, she wanted you to stay.

"Then why do you still insist on drinking because of that asshole and crying about him every night?"

Another moment of silence. You wanted to leave while there was still time, but Hyojin's hand remained on your arm.

"Maybe because it's been more than five years of relationship, including a year of engagement."

The brothers exchanged angry glances with each other, but they weren't angry with each other. Heeseung wasn't mad at Hyojin and Hyojin wasn't mad at him.

You mentioned opening your mouth a few times and shut up when they started arguing with each other. With no intention of stopping so soon, you knew that when the Lee brothers started an argument, it would go on for so long that all you had to do was pick up your friend's cup and drink the coffee for her.

"How was I supposed to know he was cheating on me, Heeseung?" Hyojin snapped, just in time for you to pull on her arm and get out of there quickly.

Dialing Jake's number, the only one who could help you in this whole situation. He didn't need to ask you anything when you just said "come quickly" because he knew what he had to do.

And as quickly as Heeseung arrived last night, Jake was walking through the door of the apartment.

The brothers were still arguing in the kitchen and you had a sad smile on your face.

"How long?" he asked, pulling you into a hug and smelling freshly brewed coffee.

"Since I called you, that's…"

"Twenty minutes" he looked at his cell phone and then at you, linking his arm in yours so that the two of you could go into the kitchen where the discussion was still going on.

None of the Lee brothers realized that you had been gone for so long, and even fewer had noticed Jake's arrival – now with you – in the kitchen. The two of them shouted at each other and Hyojin sometimes banged the table when he noticed how ironic his older brother was being.

"Were you stupid enough to believe that he would wait for you on the other side of the country?" Heeseung shouted this time. The veins were prominent on his neck as he kept his fists clenched on the table, imagining one of his hands meeting Seungho's face.

"I was, Heeseung. I was dumb enough because I loved Seungho" Hyojin shouted back "I've loved him for all these years, but there's no point in arguing about it because you don't know what love is, do you?"

"Hyojin" he called out to his sister, his eyes widening when she mentioned such a thing.

"What? I was stupid enough to be cheated on and we can't bring up the fact that Mr. Perfect doesn't know what real love is?"

"That's enough!" Jake shouted so loudly that it startled all three of them at once.

You cringed next to him, Hyojin shuddered and Heeseung stood up so quickly that he felt his vision go dark for a few seconds before returning to normal.

"Jake?" the Lee brothers asked at the same time.

He cleared his throat, untangling his arm from you to walk over to the two of them who were standing near the dining table.

"What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked.

"Trying to intervene in a silly fight between siblings" he kept his voice loud but didn't shout this time. Looking between Heeseung and Hyojin, he sighed "What the fuck are you two doing?"

Really, what were the two of them doing? Stopping the fight for a while and looking in your direction, you seemed stunned by everything that was happening while Hyojin and Heeseung realized why Jake was there.

You called him. You called Jake so that he would somehow try to stop what you hadn't been able to.

"I'm sorry" Hyojin tried to say, but you just nodded and looked away from the two brothers to go to the counter and get some more coffee.

"I think this whole situation is getting on everyone's nerves, that's for sure" Jake began, signaling to you that he also wanted some coffee. As soon as he took the cup, he thanked you and sat down in the chair next to Hyojin – where you had been sitting before everything started "But we don't have to blame each other for something that's Seungho's fault."

No one doubted Jake's words and how right he was about them, but hearing out loud that it wasn't anyone's fault made Heeseung panic. Because he needed to blame someone, or at least try to get all the anger out since everything happened and he saw his sister cry.

It was different from a scraped knee, for example. Or when Hyojin cried when she was ten because Heeseung wouldn't let her play with his Legos.

It was also different when Heeseung fought with Hyojin for eating the last chocolate from the box of sweets, for example. Or how he yelled – not raged – at her because Hyojin had borrowed one of his perfumes. Without asking. Because she liked the smell of her older brother.

It was all very different, that's for sure.

"Is now the time for an apology?" Hyojin looked at his brother, who had his head down and was staring at his fingers.

You and Jake nodded in agreement, but before she could say anything, Heeseung stood up.

"I'm leaving, Jake and y/n can take care of you from here" and without waiting for anyone else to say anything, he left.

Hyojin wanted to mentally curse herself more than before. More than anything. Looking at her two friends who remained in the kitchen, their vision blurred by tears, she sobbed.

"Your words were hard, you know, aren't they?" she laid her head on Jake's shoulder, as the boy felt her tears soak through his T-shirt. Hyojin sobbed some more, then bit his lower lip.

"I just… I thought…" she couldn't say anything. You knew that, because Jake had known the brothers for a little longer, perhaps the truths – or insults – spoken at that moment carried things you didn't know yet. So you decided to keep quiet and leave the kitchen once again.

You walked into the living room just in time to see Heeseung coming down the stairs from the duplex, fixing his hair and the sweatshirt he'd worn the night before. He turned to you, his eyes watering too, but he didn't say anything. Not even a nod in your direction. Just a sad look, perhaps thanking you for the day's stay and for looking after Hyojin while he got to the apartment.

Leaving quickly, Heeseung had you worried because you knew why Hyojin was crying, but you had no idea why he was shedding those tears.

"Traveling?" Hyojin frowned as you pushed the milkshake glass towards her. Berries for your best friend while you sipped on something with salted caramel.

"A whole month away from all this, what do you think?"

"A whole month?" she widened her eyes "And where would we go?"

Her shoulders rose and fell, shrugging them slowly as she pretended to think. It turned out that you and Jake had talked a lot over the last few weeks after that moment in your apartment with the Lee brothers. All the events were affecting everything around you, the boy had even said that he almost got into a fight with Sora for a silly reason because he was thinking of ways to end Seungho's life.

That man had ruined the mood of everyone in Hyojin's life and none of them wanted it anymore.

"Jake said he missed Grandma Lee's farmhouse" you smiled with your lips around the straw, sipping your milkshake as you listened to your best friend laugh.

"What are you two up to?" she asked, sipping her cold drink and feeling that cozy taste. It was the drink the two of you shared once a week when you wanted to talk outside the house or simply get out of the routine of coffee, wine, or any other drink you had inside your home – the apartment you shared after everything happened.

"Actually" you looked away and stared at the people in the street. Each one with their daily life, average problems or not. Some talk on their cell phones and others enjoy the company of another person, a child, a dog on a leash, and even a food delivery man balancing a few boxes in his hand as he enters an establishment in front of the café. You turned your attention to Hyojin, smiling at her "Jake and I have talked a lot since everything happened and we were just thinking about something we could all do together again. Just like old times."

Like old times, that phrase echoed in Hyojin's head. You all used to go to her grandmother's country house, yes. You, Heeseung, Jake and Sora, and her with Seungho. Spending incredible moments with Grandma Lee, while the siblings recounted everything they'd ever gotten up to on that estate.

Jake has already risked climbing the apple tree that Heeseung almost fell from when he was eight. Or how Seungho gently cut up the vegetables for Grandma Lee while you set the table bathed in yet another nostalgic story about the brothers. Or even of the little lady who loved company.

It was a different place to where you used to go, far from the city, the beach, or any social interaction since you all had plenty of that in the city where you lived.

It was on Grandma Lee's farm that you learned to knit and sew, for example. And it was there that Sora painted a friendship picture on her last vacation that hung in your living room. That place contained a lot of memories of the Lee brothers, but it was also a place where Hyojin was creating a lot of memories with her friends too, along with her brother – she wanted to exclude Seungho completely from these thoughts.

"If I accept this vacation" she began, a smile widening her lips as you listened to your best friend ramble on until she sighed at the end of the sentence "why do we need to stay a month?"

"Because it's enough time for Jake to explore all of your granny's fruit trees" you listed, sipping your cold drink to wet your throat "Or for Heeseung to teach Sora how to ride his grandfather's tractor" you both laughed at the last memory when she almost broke through a fence "Or how your grandmother can keep teaching me how to knit" you shrugged.

It was unfair to list all that with the smell of longing and nostalgia for Hyojin. She knew it had been a long time since she'd seen her grandmother, and long enough since she'd taken a vacation to relax.

"Have you two told Heeseung about this?" she asked.

Perfect, she's considering the idea, you thought as you shook your head in reply.

"Jake's going to talk to him today."

"So this meeting of ours wasn't about drinking?" your friend pretended to be offended when she realized that, at the moment you were talking to her about it, Jake was probably talking to Jake too, wherever you were.

With a guilty smile, you finished your milkshake and smiled at her before grimacing.

"Vacation. A month to miss granny Lee, please?"

With a pout on your lips, you hoped that this would convince Lee Hyojin to go on vacation with you and Jake.

Grandma Lee's hug was so welcoming that you didn't want to leave, feeling her hands smoothing your back as you laid your head on hers.

"How I've missed having you all here" she said after releasing you, going to hug Sora in the same way.

"We missed you too, Grandma" Hyojin had already hugged her, so he sat down on the sofa while he waited for Grandma to get her friends to join her.

"How did you all manage to leave at the same time?" she asked "And the boys, where are they?"

"Coming a bit late" Hyojin said "Heeseung and Jake had to pick someone up, so we wanted to come quickly."

"To get the best guest room" you added.

When they came to Grandma Lee's house, Hyojin used to share a room with Seungho, while you and Sora shared another, next to Heeseung and Jake in the other room. Since it would be kind of weird for you to sleep with your best friend's brother. Or not.

This time the division would be with you sleeping with Hyojin, while Jake and Sora would share the other room, and Heeseung would sleep with his new friend who was arriving. Up went the suitcases and superficially tidied up until they arrived, which didn't take long when Jake's car horn was heard coming down the road before it stopped near the fences of Grandma Lee's property.

You all came out of the house together with the lady to greet the new arrivals who were getting out of the vehicle to unload their bags and supplies.

"Hey, you didn't take long" Sora approached first, being hugged by Jake as he kissed her quickly.

"I thought the two of them were going to roll into the house, but it was kind of quick" he smiled, opening the trunk to grab his things, but before he could pull out the suitcase, Jake shouted, "Granny!"

He ran out towards the lady who was already near the entrance stairs to greet him. Heeseung got out of the car laughing at the typical scene that happened every time they went there. It was as if Jake was more of a grandson than Heeseung himself or even Hyojin. He felt more like part of the family and even had a little argument with you for having been adopted first as Mrs. Lee's grandson.

"How handsome you look, Jake" she said after hugging him, receiving a grateful smile from the boy.

"You look wonderful" Jake complimented "And you know what I brought?"

"Don't tell me you—"

"Jake, if you brought my grandmother a drink…" Hyojin wanted to yell at him when he saw his friend shrug and dodge a slap he could have received on his arm.

You and Sora could only laugh at the whole situation as you watched Heeseung approach a boy. Your eyes narrowed to decipher who it was, without recognizing him until he got close enough and waved to the two of you.

"Grandma" Heeseung didn't want to let go of the lady in his arms, almost lifting her off the ground when he went to hug her. Laughing at the whole thing, Grandma Lee said she missed her eldest grandson before he introduced the boy "Women, this is our friend Sunghoon. Sunghoon, this is my wonderful, perfect granny" the tall, dark-haired boy smiled at the lady, who wasn't shy about hugging him too "This is Sora, Jake's girlfriend" she waved to Sunghoon after he had been hugged by Grandma Lee "And this is y/n, my sister's best friend."

"Oh" Sunghoon raised his eyebrows when he heard her name, and it made his smile falter. Did he know you?

You nodded back, swallowing dryly and putting it out of your mind for a while when Jake returned with Hyojin.

"Have you chosen your rooms yet?" he asked "We've brought so much food that I think we'll have enough for the whole month."

"That's great, I'm going to cook a lot for all of you" while Grandma Lee was talking to the rest of the group, you pulled Jake along before he approached the car with the others to unload everything they had brought. He looked at you with a calm countenance, smiling without showing his teeth and waiting for you to say something.

"Who's Sunghoon?" you asked quietly, afraid that someone would overhear.

Jake bit his lip to keep from laughing, but it still happened. This time he received a slap on the arm from you.

"Come on, why am I getting hit?" he asked, dodging another slap and staying by your side as you started walking to the car "He's a friend of Heeseung's from work, we talk about a lot of things, and... Well, eventually about girls too."

"And why did he… Mhm…" you could feel your cheeks burning at the thought, but you still wanted to ask "And why did he look surprised when he heard my name?"

Jake didn't laugh this time, but he kept a shit-eating grin on his face as he let everyone take their bags into the house, leaving just you and him there to pick up the rest.

"Because I talk about Sora, we talk about Hyojin too" he ran the tip of his tongue between his lips before speaking "And Heeseung has said things about you a few times too."

"Things? About me? But wait… What kind of things?" you asked.

Jake picked up the heavier bags, leaving some light ones for you to carry. When he had taken them, he closed the trunk of the car and activated the alarm to enter Grandma Lee's house with you.

"How about we talk and have a drink tonight after dinner?" Jake whispered, "So you can ask Sunghoon himself."

Jake was a son of a bitch when he wanted to be, and you hated that side of your best friend. But at the same time, you knew how right he was.

You all drank a little after dinner. And after each other, and each other too, making it an almost daily practice after the meal for the next two weeks. Drinking, talking, and laughing, all together. But at no point did you manage to ask Sunghoon anything in particular. And he also didn't seem to mind interacting with you so much after the first time you met.

Sunghoon had been working with Heeseung in the same sector for just over a year and a half, and you realized – along with your two friends – that he was just as playful and fun as the boy and Jake. Putting the three of you together made for a good session of laughter and even adventure within the first two weeks.

You all explored the surroundings, hiking and recognizing places you'd only been to a few times before. Bathing in the waterfall on the nearby property, which was a friend of the Lee family, it wouldn't be a problem for anyone to feel uncomfortable, as Sunghoon said he was afraid of.

You also went into town to buy more drinks because, according to Jake, you needed to inaugurate the pier near the lake where you last barbecued – four days ago – during the night. And that's exactly where you were.

You had eaten enough and sat down on the beach chair they had put there for anyone who wanted one, smiling at Sunghoon who had sat down next to you.

"Would you like one?" he offered a can of beer and you readily accepted, thanking him before opening your can and drinking some of the contents.

Watching your friends laughing and roasting the rest of the meat they had bought, joking with each other, and feeling your chest relax when you saw Hyojin smile. The big reason for this trip was right there, leaning on Jake's shoulder as he laughed at something Sora had said.

"Heeseung told me" Sunghoon snapped you out of your thoughts, making you look at him quickly as you missed the scene where Hyojin was hugging his brother "I felt his anger."

"I don't know who was angrier than Hyojin" you sighed heavily, drinking beer at the same second as Sunghoon, almost as if you were both a reflection of each other.

"He's a piece of shit" the boy muttered "I only met him once when Heeseung took him out to the bar" he chewed his lower lip as he was distracted by the four of them running along the pier, well away from the grill now "It was a bit… Egocentric."

"Disgusting" you added.

Swearing at Seungho was therapeutic for you, and you were grateful to know that Sunghoon shared the same feeling. Well, anyone in their right mind would feel that way because what that idiot had done to your best friend was unimaginable.

"Hey" Jake approached the two of you, picking up a third chair to put on your other side and put you between him and Sunghoon.

"Why did you come here?" the boy asked Jake, seeing that he also had a beer in his hand, and then sighed.

Jake would have answered, but the scene in front of him spoke for itself. Heeseung, Sora, and Hyojin had taken off their shirts and jumped into the lake without warning. He didn't want to risk it as it was getting dark – and he wasn't that brave either – telling the three of them that he would sit down with you and Sunghoon to talk.

"What were you talking about?" he then asked.

"We were cursing Seungho" you said cheerfully, watching Jake smile.

"He's such a asshole!" Jake stretched out, feeling his bones crack in his body after a while. Then he decided to drink some of his beer "I regret holding Heeseung back in college when he wanted to hit him."

"What? Heeseung wanted to hit Seungho?" you were shocked by this information, asking Jake what else the boys were hiding from you.

Talking about college was nostalgic for all the things you all experienced together. They were long years together and every moment counted for a lot and strengthened everything you had built up to that point. This made Sunghoon's mind click, looking at Jake as he finished telling a story he'd experienced with Sora where they'd almost broken up because she hadn't let him skip literature class – it was her favorite subject.

"I know it's none of my business, but can I ask you something?" Sunghoon scratched his head for almost two whole weeks at that. Jake even imagined it, so he stifled a smile as you looked at the boy and nodded slowly, smiling lazily as you felt your mouth start to go numb from the beer.

Jake got up to walk the few steps to the cooler where there were more drinks to grab three more beers for him, you and Sunghoon before turning back quickly, just in time to hear the other ask.

"What did you and Heeseung have in university?"

Your neck could break with the speed at which you turned your head to look at Jake.

"What? I didn't say anything at all" he defended himself, raising his hands after sitting down and opening his drink.

What had happened between you and Heeseung in university? That was a while ago, almost two years to be exact, in the last year. You never thought you'd have to relive that thought, even though it came back to you every time you met him. But you tried very hard not to think about it while the boy was around.

Looking at Sunghoon now, you sighed and paid more attention to the can of beer Jake had handed you as you opened it.

"We kissed once—"

"Several times" Jake interrupted you "For almost a year."

Sunghoon laughed at the astonished look you made, and also because Jake was very airy before he got a load of water on his shorts. You mentally thanked for always having a bottle of water nearby when you drank, and now you didn't mind emptying it on your best friend.

"Shut up."

"Tell Sunghoon the truth, you don't have to lie since there's only the three of us here" Jake wanted to scream because the water was freezing his entire thigh due to the wet fabric in contact with his skin.

You laughed a little, pressing your fingers on the can and then looking at Sunghoon.

"We kissed a few times and… That's it."

There was a little silence, but not much because Jake snorted.

"Can I be honest again? For you?" you rolled your eyes, seeing that sparing details of events wouldn't work very well since your friend would tell you everything himself.

"You don't have to if you two don't want to" Sunghoon laughed, finishing his beer "It's just that he tells me some things, just like I tell him too. And just… He told me about you two in college and I wanted to draw some conclusions."

"Which ones?" you asked.

But there was no answer. His complicit look with Sunghoon indicated that the two of them had already had that conversation, all that was needed were a few answers that they were looking for… But which ones? What were the answers they wanted? Because you had no idea.

Getting involved with Heeseung wasn't something you regretted telling no one about. No, on the contrary. It all happened so suddenly that you didn't know how to say it.

The cliché trope of dating your best friend's brother, getting involved, or falling in love, happened long after you met him. And it was so by chance.

It had been two years since you met Hyojin and, consequently, Heeseung too. You knew he'd had lots of girlfriends, and you'd also had a few affairs here and there, but no one ever insisted on the two of you. Jake didn't joke about it when you all went out together and neither did Hyojin smile mischievously at you or her brother when it was just the two of you at the end of the party to leave, since she went with Seungho and Jake went with Sora.

But one day, after an intense week of tests for you and a troubled break-up with Heeseung, everything came together and contributed to you waking up in his bed. That had been the promise of a single night.

That lasted for months, practically a year of involvement between you and him. But that ended suddenly. Heeseung seemed to be afraid of something and you, worried about what he might feel, decided to give him the space he needed. You were both afraid of breaking up with your group of friends, so getting back to normal was a bit difficult for both of you, but in the last year since you finished college, you and Heeseung had done very well in maintaining a friendship, even if you were now being teased by Hyojin and Jake.

This was something you managed – pretended, to be precise – to avoid at all costs. But it was a big lie when your cheeks got hot or when you smiled awkwardly at anything your friends said. Hiding it may have been easy, but not feeling it was even harder.

"Right" Sunghoon sighed after you told him, with Jake's excited help, about your history with Heeseung "After that I concluded that I was right."

"What did we talk about?" Jake asked, seeing the boy agree with a nod and a victorious smile on his lips.

"Okay, gentlemen conversationalists, what were you talking about? May I ask?"

You might if it weren't for the return of the other three friends, soaking wet and giggling while Heeseung, the most provocative, shook his wet hair over Sunghoon.

"Aren't you going in the water?" Hyojin asked as he looked at you, smiling and almost shaking her chin. You laughed and got up from your chair.

"No, and I think you need to dry off or you'll get sick."

"Sick? I never get sick" Heeseung hugged Sunghoon who had stood up, hearing his friend's shout that he didn't want to get his clothes wet.

You rolled your eyes at him, not caring so much about the two of them teasing as you tried to settle down on the pier as best you could. Trying to forget the conversation you had a few minutes ago, while the reason for it was laughing and joking with Sunghoon, who looked at you now and then with a knowing smile.

Coughing. Tremors and a high fever. That's how Heeseung felt at dawn and throughout the day. He didn't want to get sick on his vacation trip, let alone spoil the outing everyone had planned to the nearby town center, where a spring fair was taking place.

He wanted to go along, getting out of bed a few times and being prevented by his grandmother from leaving. Heeseung could cry with the pain in his body as he sat up in bed after Grandma Lee left the room, giving Sunghoon a way in.

"What's up, man?" he sat on the edge of the bed, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing.

"What? Are you going to make fun of me too?" Heeseung coughed.

"I never get sick" Sunghoon tried to imitate Heeseung's voice, failing and laughing immediately afterwards. The other had nothing to object to.

"Seriously, I don't know what happened. What the fuck?" he whimpered as he threw his head back, the tip of his nose red because he'd lost count of how many times he'd blown.

"You dived into the lake at night, that's what happened," Sunghoon warned.

"I'm going to ruin your outing, aren't I? Fuck!" cursed the boy for a moment.

Sunghoon wanted to say no, maybe they could reschedule the tour for another day when Heeseung was feeling better. Especially since there were still many weeks until the end of their vacation, so everyone could go to the nearby city center afterward for the fair they had arranged. But before Sunghoon could even say anything, Heeseung was getting out of bed. With a lot of effort – and a little bit of crying – he leaned on his friend to stand up.

"Let's go to the living room, I think I can go with you."

Sunghoon rolled his eyes at his friend's stubbornness but wanted to let him walk as far as he could on his own to the living room where the whole group of friends were.

"Heeseung!" Hyojin was surprised when his brother reached the room, struggling to walk while coughing now and then.

"I couldn't keep him in the room" Sunghoon whispered.

"One thing you should learn about him is that he's stubborn as a rock" Sora hummed, receiving a roll of the eyes from Heeseung.

"I don't want you to miss the exit for me. I just—"

He raised his arms to signal something, but he was so weak and off balance that if it weren't for you and your body holding him up, Heeseung might fall. Your arms quickly circled his waist while Heeseung wrapped one of his arms around your shoulder, his face close to yours because of the position he was in.

"Are you okay?" he wasn't at all okay with that closeness, and he knew that the hot sensation on your face was a mixture of the fever and how beautiful you were next to him.

"Okay, how about we go later? Let's stay home and…"

"No way" Heeseung interrupted Jake, looking at him with great effort to look away from you at that moment, "I'll feel guilty if you all miss the tour because of me."

And it was true. Everyone knew that Heeseung wouldn't forgive himself for getting sick and making everyone stay because of him.

"I'll stay" you said without much thought.

"What?" Heeseung was the only one who seemed surprised by your decision because the other four smiled at your answer. Almost as if they had expected it.

"Yeah, I'll stay here with you" your voice was soft, almost a melody to Heeseung. You sat him down on the sofa to straighten his body and turned to his friends "You can all go and… I'll stay with Heeseung."

"Y/n" he called without much strength in his voice, you couldn't hear him. You had heard him, but you preferred to ignore it and focus on your friends and how they made sure they had their phones on and were ready to leave wherever they were and go to you and Heeseung.

It didn't take long for your friends to leave for their late afternoon stroll, which could last into the night and even the early hours of the morning, depending on where they had gone.

You didn't know what had made you stay – maybe you did, you just wanted to fool yourself a bit – so you chose to take care of Heeseung the right way. You went to his room and fetched a blanket, stretched it over your legs, and sat down next to him.

"Do you know what time granny Lee measured your fever?" you asked him, waiting for an answer that came in seconds "All right, I'll set the alarm clock to measure it again in a while" you clicked a few times on your cell phone to set the exact time you should measure the temperature again.

Heeseung picked up the remote control on the coffee table and turned on the television, watching something that might be interesting just so he wouldn't be watching you so much while you leaned back on the sofa.

"Do you want anything?" you asked him, engrossed in the old movie he'd decided to leave on since there wasn't much interesting to watch.

"I do, but will you promise not to fight me if I ask?" your stomach almost rolled over at the thought, and you felt your heart racing.

Heeseung noticed the stiffness in his body, knowing what was going through his head. He was going to ask exactly what you were thinking, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable and it would be too bold after so long. Maybe the fever was messing with his head too much to think such a thing, so he had to act quickly so as not to get into a weird mood afterward.

"I feel like having some whisky" he whispered, "I haven't had any fever medicine yet, so… Could you get me some? Please?"

"Heeseung" you looked at him, the boy feeling his legs go limp with the intensity of your gaze. That would never change for him.

"Just a little, I promise I'll take the medicine later."

Maybe he would take the medicine after you insisted, or maybe he wouldn't and then you could turn to Hyojin to scold him. Either way, you got up and took the bottle of whisky from Heeseung, leaving it on the coffee table and sitting back down next to him.

This could have yielded a single glass, but he drank three. He measured the temperature – which was still high – and went for the fourth glass, but this time you managed to stop him. You pulled away from him while, under protest, you got up to finish Heeseung's drink.

"What… Did you say… Y/n" he whimpered as he quickly got up, falling onto the sofa and pulling the covers over his face.

Covered to the neck, Heeseung looked like a helpless little animal when you sat down next to him.

"I said one glass" you reprogrammed the clock on your cell phone to wake up for the third time and take your temperature again, hoping it had improved at least a little or you'd have to opt for a cold shower. Since Heeseung was drunk and couldn't take any medicine at the moment.

"It's okay, I exaggerated" he confessed.

I'm glad you know, you thought to yourself and let the television and the program playing play their part. Distracting the two of you while the hour passed.

Or at least it should.

Over time, Heeseung's body relaxed and he slid down the upholstery until he had the side of his thigh pressed against yours. You held your breath for a few seconds at the sudden contact but decided to let it pass since it was the only thing you felt from each other before he adjusted himself to sit up straight.

"Can I ask you something?" his voice was deep, his eyes focused on the crime series that was now on television. Heeseung could see the policemen running off without knowing where because their attention was focused on you sitting next to him.

"You can" you replied, looking at Heeseung's profile and holding back a sigh as you analyzed him. The pointed nose, the plump lips that puckered unconsciously as he thought.

You had already seen it up close and from every possible angle, but it was as if he managed to look even more handsome anyway.

"Have you ever really loved someone?" Heeseung's question made you stand still. If you were standing up or doing anything, you'd surely stop abruptly or drop whatever was in your hand in the same second "I mean really love, not be in a passion. I think they're different things, right?"

He stared at you after asking, and you didn't know you could feel your heart almost bursting out of your mouth with Heeseung's eyes so intensely on you.

"Why are you asking me this?" was the only thing that came out of your mouth without your voice sounding shaky and nervous.

Heeseung smiled awkwardly, looking down at his hands, which had pulled the blanket away from his body and even discarded the fabric on the other side of the sofa.

"Because I once asked Jake how you find out if you love someone" he said, "or what the difference is between infatuation and love. Love, really."

"You're not asking that because of the fight you had with Hyojin that day, are you?" it was your turn to ask, clicking in your mind the last heavy event between the Lee brothers. Hyojin had said something about him never being able to love and now with Heeseung's questions, you were starting to get confused, as well as nervous.

"Maybe" he shrugged, sighing quickly.

"Why? Have you ever really loved someone or did they just say it out of the mouth?"

Heeseung didn't want you to have asked that out loud, because he didn't want all the senses in your body to be like a magnet and for him to have slid down the sofa until he was even more glued to your body.

You don't know how or when the boy in front of you tilted his face towards you until Heeseung's warm breath hit your lips. You also don't know how you stood there, letting him come closer and one of his hands fit perfectly on your cheek.

"I never thought I could really love" he whispered, his warm lips sliding teasingly over yours. You fought fiercely against the urge to rush forward and kiss him, but at the same time you had to hold back as much as you could "I never thought I felt that way until—"

The alarm clock startled you both, causing Heeseung to move away so quickly that he almost threw himself across the sofa.

Recovering, you straightened your hair and clicked your phone so that the alarm would stop immediately. Your heart raced as you got up to get the thermometer and take Heeseung's temperature. He didn't take his eyes off you and remained still, knowing that you would do the same until you had finished checking.

"I think it's gone down" you showed him the numbers, seeing that it was a little better than before.

"Great, so can we pick up where we left off?" he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him. You wanted to continue, you wanted to hear more about what he had to say, but again the interruption surrounded you.

And this time by a group of friends who had just arrived from the city center.

The days went by without a hitch, without any uncomfortable interaction or even a tense moment between you and Heeseung. Although his words and gestures remained fresh in your mind, he didn't seem to mind treating you normally in front of his friends and sister.

Or at least that's what he wanted you to think. Because every time he went to the bathroom or walked away, you felt like screaming. Once again Heeseung was cowardly enough not to say anything at all to you. Once again he felt like he was picking up sand with his bare hands when he saw you become distant after that day in the living room of his grandmother's house.

Talking to Jake about his feelings and to Sunghoon about doing the right thing only made him feel even more stupid because he did everything the other way around. It wasn't possible that for his friends it was so simple and with him… It just didn't work.

Heeseung wanted to call you for a real talk, to look you in the eye once more and be able to say what he should have said over a year ago before deciding to walk away out of fear. You would laugh in his face and call him a coward just like Jake did. All right, his best friend had done it to lighten the mood after an almost two-hour lecture on how Heeseung hadn't understood any of the signs of feelings.

Clear signs that he really was in love, finally, with the first person in his life.

A long sigh leaves Heeseung's lips as he looks at the scene in front of him. Back on the pier in front of the lake, he preferred to sit on the beach chair and watch from afar. He couldn't help but notice how close Hyojin had become to Sunghoon over the last few days; perhaps it was the conversation or even something else. Neither of them had said anything, but he wasn't going to interfere either, after all, she was an adult and was going through a bad time. Sunghoon could help her in ways that neither he nor Jake could.

And speaking of Jake, he and Sora were frustrated with the attempts at a knitting class you were giving them. The only boy in that class cursed to the heavens when he missed a stitch and Sora undid everything to start again. But Heeseung's attention was on your laughter. How nice it was to hear it every time you tried to comfort them, saying that you'd been through it all years ago when Grandma Lee taught you to knit.

Heeseung remembers. Every little detail of that day and how he sat next to you to learn too. Or to be near you because the other four had gone out in couples and he didn't want to be the only one watching.

You were calm, you were good with the needle and the stitches Grandma was giving you.

"What design do you want me to knit?" you asked him after a few days, learning the basics and doing small things.

"Hm…" Heeseung seemed to think for a moment, looking ahead and focusing on how Jake was desperately shouting for Hyojin to help him down from the tree. He laughed a little along with you before returning his attention to the previous conversation. Heeseung bit his lip as he stared at you, a smile playing on his face as he thought desperately that he could kiss you at that very moment "How about a heart?"

"You want me to knit you a heart? That's fine" and it was then that you practice on the small knitting square was all done in hearts. At Heeseung's request.

He wouldn't tell you that he'd kept the first one you made in his closet drawer, even though Jake had already seen it and Sunghoon too, the last time they got drunk and he told you everything he felt.

"I don't think it's fair, you learned all this stuff in, I don't know… how long?" Jake was angry with himself for not being able to get a single point right.

"Less than a month" Heeseung let slip, not caring about the surprised looks coming from you and Sora "She knitted some hearts and granny was so proud because neither Hyojin nor I could learn. While y/n did it in such a short time."

Now Jake was surprised by the whole thing. Not with the heart information because he had already seen it, but at how it had all come out so casually from Heeseung's lips.

He remembered so many details that if he told them out loud, it might complicate things. Or not, because then you'd know he'd never forgotten.

"I'm so good now that I can knit a cap, for example" you shrugged as you got up from the pier floor, walking in the direction Heeseung was now with Jake. Sora had gone inside to get a coat.

"Do you have black lines?" Heeseung asked.

You looked for a while at some scraps you had in your hands, but none of them were black threads. Then, smiling awkwardly, you denied it.

"When we get back I can buy some and you can make one for me?"

"Sure" you smiled so beautifully that he clutched the arms of his chair tightly to stop himself from getting up and grabbing you right there.

"Dude, be less obvious" Jake said after you had followed the same path as Sora into the house, probably putting away your knitting things since you didn't need to leave everything there anymore.

"With what?" Heeseung asked.

"I don't know, with all this longing for y/n" he shrugged and then relaxed "If you haven't said anything about how you feel, I guess you could try going slowly."

Heeseung remained quiet, watching as Sunghoon's arm circled Hyojin's shoulders and she snuggled close to him.

"All this time you've been giving me advice and I just can't follow it" he laughed humorlessly, his fingers softening on the arms of the chair and his whole body relaxed against the backrest. Heeseung closed his eyes.

"Because you're a jerk and you're afraid of what you might hear from her" Jake mirrored his friend's actions, laying his head on the back of the chair and closing his eyes "I'll never get tired of repeating that" he whispered, opening one of his eyes to see if either of you were coming back from the house. Taking advantage of the fact that they weren't, he continued: "I almost peed my pants when I confessed my feelings for Sora. My heart raced so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack."

And that really was it. Jake told that story and wasn't ashamed if it meant he could help Heeseung with how he felt about you. Sometimes he knew that he felt the same way about Jake just by being in his presence, but it seemed as if the words were disappearing from his mouth.

"So she said she felt the same way and look where we are now."

"You're both beautiful, dude" Heeseung said sincerely, he loved his friends.

"And you and y/n too" he said back "I love you both and together with Hyojin I hope every day that this will be resolved soon" Jake straightened up in his chair and turned his face towards his friend, biting his lower lip to suppress a smile "You just have to take the initiative and make it work. You won't lose another year for fear of what might happen."

Lose another year. Heeseung didn't want it to be that long, he didn't think he could bear to be around you for another year without doing anything. Especially after what happened in the living room of his grandmother's house during the vacations.

He had to do something.

Getting back into the routine of work wasn't so bad, even with the day-to-day rush and even some unforeseen events in the sectors where they worked. It wasn't out of the ordinary and was soon resolved.

You were happy when you started seeing Sunghoon more often when he showed up at your apartment saying he wanted to take Hyojin out for coffee. Or even calling you for dinner somewhere because he didn't want to go home yet.

Sunghoon called you a few times too, but you knew it was only out of cordiality and you politely declined invitations to stay in the comfort of your apartment. Texting Jake and telling him about the – again – casual meeting they were having.

Hyojin deserved to be well somehow. And even if it was casual, it was going into the second month in the blink of an eye. Now she was able to show Sunghoon a little more affection in front of her friends and brother, hugging him from behind when he was sitting at the dinner table. Or letting him kiss her forehead in an act of affection when they were standing in line at the amusement park waiting for their ride.

Sora and Heeseung thought it was so cute the way the two of them were treating each other. You and Jake, on the other hand, liked to make fun of her because you heard Hyojin whining that she would never allow herself to sigh for another man. But it turned out that Sunghoon was another man and he was taking very good care of her.

Given the clichéd circumstances, Heeseung sat face to face with Sunghoon one day, listing all the atrocities he would do to his friend if he hurt his sister's heart which was still being mended.

Sunghoon, for the first time, spoke with conviction that he wouldn't do any of those things. Without mentioning the word casual or saying that they were just friends. Sunghoon agreed with everything Heeseung was saying and thanked him for his trust because he knew that, if his friend didn't do such an atrocity, he still had Jake and you to complete the job. Along with Sora who could very well devise an evil plan because he knew what she was capable of.

"She wouldn't do that, would she?" Sunghoon asked the two boys one day when they were all sitting around the dining table in their apartment because Hyojin had decided to cook. She had gone to the bathroom and Sora went over a plan in which she would pluck out every strand of his hair, depending on his mood; with a machine or tweezers.

Heeseung and Jake laughed nervously, denying it immediately.

"It would, and I think it would help in the process" you smiled at him, seeing him wince and try to say something.

But you all knew that Sunghoon wouldn't do anything to harm Hyojin because he started to like her. It was all so natural that the next thing he knew, he was confessing his feelings after four months of being together and she – for all his happiness – was feeling safe to say the same.

Hyojin was still afraid of what had happened to her, but after talking for hours with Heeseung – he ended up confessing how felt about you too – it led to a long time of crying, a huge apology and she encouraging him to talk to you. Then he encouraged she to give herself to Sunghoon little by little and if she was afraid, she could go back.

And that's what she was doing, gradually letting go as the relationship stabilized.

"I think I'm having a dejavú" Hyojin sighed as she filled wine glass, handing it to you and then filling hers too.

"Really? Why?" you drank a little, feeling the bitter taste of the dry wine run down your tongue. You used to prefer mellow, but today it was your best friend who chose it.

"The two of us, glasses of wine, here in the kitchen" she looked around and so did you, laughing as you remembered the six bottles you'd bought last time "Now we're here and I'm happy to be drinking."

"And I want it to always be like this" you confessed.

The smile on your face only showed that you were telling the truth. Not only you, but all your friends wanted Hyojin to be feeling well.

"Oh, it's Sunghoon" she said to you when her cell phone started ringing, asking for a moment before she could answer it. Talking to him for a while, you didn't even pay much attention to the conversation, too focused on your glass and how much the bitterness of the wine was starting to taste.

You even poured a little more and started drinking again.

"So?" you asked when she hung up.

"He and the boys want to go out clubbing" Hyojin drank all of her wine, refilling her glass "They asked us to come along."

"Now?" Hyojin nodded in agreement before going back to drinking.

"I'll stay here if you don't want to go" she shrugged quickly.

You had no business going out, especially since you were starting to get hot from the wine. It would even be more fun to be with the boys, although you also loved Hyojin's company – so much so that you lived together – but with more people, it would always be nice.

So you didn't have long to think about whether or not to go, finish off the bottle of dry wine, and run to your rooms to change.

In record time you and Hyojin were at the door of the nightclub and met Sora waving in the queue, running up to her so that she could hug you both at once.

"Are they inside?" Hyojin asked.

"Yes, I was saving a place for you two in the queue" she smiled, keeping her arm around you while Hyojin touched up her lipstick "They arrived not even twenty minutes ago."

The music was muffled outside, but as soon as you entered, the loudness of the speakers gave you the sensation that every organ in your body was vibrating.

Hyojin exchanged a message with Jake to see where they were and could find them without too much effort. The boy soon replied to the location and the three of you went to meet them.

Sliding past dancing bodies, drunk people, and false advances that Sora was expert at deflecting, either by being very direct and saying no thank you or simply pushing the inconvenient person who was trying at all costs to get into the pants of one of the three of you.

"We're here" Sunghoon waved from the table near the bar where only he and Jake were standing. You didn't even realize it when you approached them.

You and Sora greeted Sunghoon first and you quickly went to hug Jake, so they could greet their girlfriends with more delay than they wanted. Jake and Sora were already a common sight for all of you, but seeing Hyojin kiss Sunghoon right in front of your eyes was something new. Cute, and it couldn't go unnoticed.

You and Jake made fake vomiting noises while you could see Sunghoon's smile against Hyojin's lips before he stopped kissing you.

"You two are horrible" Sora tapped Jake on the shoulder to scold him, then glared at you.

It was then that they realized Heeseung was missing. If the boys had called everyone together, he would have been there. And indeed he was.

But your eyes couldn't believe that his hand was holding a woman's waist while she whispered something in his ear.

Your bile could be felt from your throat and you swore that the dizziness you felt could well have been from the wine earlier, but no. Why did you have to feel this way just now? Just at this moment. You've been out with your friends so many times and Heeseung was there, why did it have to be like this?

The only one to notice your discomfort was Jake, because the others got into such a lively conversation that they didn't even notice you standing there and looking in the direction your best friend was looking. He came closer, slipping one of his arms around yours to entwine them.

"It's not that, y/n" he said.

"I'm seeing it with my own eyes" you said back, pressing your lips together as Jake started to lead you towards the bar.

But before you could get there, Heeseung broke away from the girl and turned around so quickly that he almost crashed into you and Jake.

"Y/n" he ignored his friend's presence completely.

Jake took that warning as a cue to let go of your arm and get drinks, leaving the two of you standing there. He handed you a glass and left with two others, probably for Sora and Hyojin, you didn't even remember if he'd said anything before returning to the table.

Heeseung's eyes were on you the whole time, not saying a word as he alternated between looking at you and your mouth.

"I dismissed her" he said after a while, a little too loudly because of the music playing, afraid that you wouldn't hear him.

You didn't know why he had said it and you didn't know why it had, in a way, relieved your racing heart.

"You…"

"Hand around the waist? Whisper in the ear?" he ran one hand through his hair, easily messing up the strands that were beginning to grow "I held her because she almost fell, and she was whispering about how faithful I was to my girlfriend. That she admired that because she couldn't find a guy like that."

"Your girlfriend?" you frowned and felt like an idiot grimacing because the laugh Heeseung let out at that moment just made you want to disappear.

You had shown jealousy indirectly, and yet he had noticed.

The boy then approached you, took the glass from your hand, and drank some of the drink Jake had chosen for you. He then leaned close enough to brush his lips against yours, which were so cold from the drink that you almost moaned at the contact.

"Not officially yet" he said, sliding his mouth down to kiss the corner of your lips.

Before you could say anything else, Heeseung grabbed your free hand to pull you back to the table. Heading back to his friends to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Heeseung was determined. He couldn't wait any longer to tell you everything he felt for you. The day at the nightclub had made it clear that, at the very least, you felt something for him.

Attraction, passion, love. He didn't know. But there was something inside you that screamed his name somehow, and Heeseung wanted to find out.

Encouraged by Jake and Sunghoon, he finally rushed out of the house. As he stopped by the store to buy the pretext for that conversation, he sent a message to Hyojin.

I'm going out with Sunghoon, the apartment is all yours… Except my room! He laughed as he passed the cashier and paid for everything before getting in his car and driving to where you lived.

This should have happened a while ago, he couldn't have waited that long because the fear was still eating away at him. What if you could have cooled your feelings for him and confused everything? Maybe Heeseung had misunderstood and you only had a little empathy for him. Would empathy be right? Would empathy let him almost kiss you, touch your face, and brush his lips against yours?

No, Heeseung. He didn't want to sabotage himself so soon before he was standing in front of your apartment door.

His trembling fingers rang the doorbell and balanced the bag he was carrying.

Your footsteps could be heard from inside the apartment, followed by I'm coming, which you answered, probably putting something away or straightening up before opening the door.

Heeseung didn't hold back a loud sigh when he saw you. You looked beautiful. Even wearing sweatpants and a blue tank top that he remembered well – the tank top of the friendship between you and Hyojin. It was the color you two shared, by the way.

"Heeseung?" you were surprised to see him, but you still made way for him to enter.

"I thought… Well…" he took a deep breath, thinking about Jake's words.

Try it, man. Say everything you feel.

And then the little lecture Sunghoon gave him two days ago.

If you don't, you'll never know how she feels. And worse, you'll live with the ghost of a relationship that could be working just because you're afraid to acknowledge that, finally, you know what love is.

"I thought you could knit my cap now" he held up the bag, pulling out the black threads he had said a long time ago "Would you mind?"

Your broad smile indicated that, of course, you would never mind doing this for him.

"You've come at a good time, by the way" Heeseung sat down on the sofa while you picked up the bag to look at the things he had brought. Your smile still lingered as he remembered all the sewing details he could buy, even the support – which you had – to put on your thumb so it wouldn't hurt while knitting.

"Have I arrived? Why?" he asked, turning to you as you sat down next to him on the sofa.

"I ordered food" it was Heeseung's turn to smile broadly "Hyojin's out and I didn't want to cook, so I guess I ordered too much. Or enough for both of us."

For both of us. Referring to Heeseung as a collective together with you made his heart race in such a silly way that he swore he was shaking a little. Then he sighed, nodding in agreement when you told him to wait.

Would go upstairs to get your needles and whatever else was missing, which he hadn't remembered to buy so that you could start sewing the knitted cap.

He didn't want to get in the way of your sewing, so he was in charge of doing everything while you started.

It was Heeseung who went downstairs to get the food when you arrived. He was the one who set up the coffee table in the living room with all the utensils for the two of you to eat and he was the one who washed the dishes and got two bottles of beer from the fridge for the two of you to drink after eating.

His eyes met yours a few times while you stopped knitting, paying attention to the movie in front of you or what he had said about something from the day. It wasn't insignificant, but Heeseung couldn't think of much to tell you.

He wanted to talk about how his day at work had gone, but mostly he lamented how he felt like a coward and how Sunghoon cursed at him until it was time to leave. With Jake then? He couldn't tell you that he almost got beaten up by his best friend because Heeseung said he'd give up, let you live in peace, and wouldn't go after you to make you suffer.

So he only told you superficially, how it had been at work, how he almost broke the diffuser he'd won from Sora for a bet they'd made – he'd gotten sick eating four snacks in a row – and how he needed a cap. Heeseung could buy anyone at the store, but having an initial reason to come to your apartment and talk to you seemed more convincing in his mind than simply picking up any ready-made cap.

Not to mention that it would have a whole feeling because it had been made by you. By your hands. The hands he kept looking at while traced stitches and knots, wound the thread, and held the wooden knitting needle tightly.

"Is it okay if it's not ready today?" you asked, catching Heeseung off guard by hearing your voice so suddenly. He knew you had caught him staring at your hands, so all he could do was swallow and go back to watching the TV.

"Yeah" he replied briefly, letting all the air out of his lungs before saying, "Because I came to talk to you, the cap was just a pretext."

You didn't have to be a good reader to know that you had stopped all your sewing to look at him at that moment. Heeseung didn't want to move at all, let alone look at you while he heard his name called a few times.

What do you mean by a pretext? Was he just going to say that and be quiet, without answering any calls of his name?

You got tired of calling his name for the fourth time and decided to get up, dropping the needles and everything else you were holding, deciding to get another drink or anything that would keep you focused other than on the man who was ignoring you.

"Go Heeseung, you can do it" he said to himself as he punched the sofa cushions uselessly before getting up "Jake did it, Sunghoon is doing it… It's your turn!" he uttered those words as he walked to the kitchen in the slowest steps he had ever taken in his life.

Not even a boring college class could make him walk as slowly as he did. Heeseung felt pathetic for that.

Leaning against the doorframe, he could observe you a little more closely. Your fingertips played through your hair while the freshly opened bottle of beer sat on the kitchen counter. You tidied up the strands, loosening them and letting them cascade down your shoulders and back. You now held the beer bottle to your lips and took a long sip, as if it would help you relax while you finished swallowing and turned away.

"Fuck, Heeseung" he laughed, disentangling yourself from the doorframe to take a few slow steps toward him.

He didn't approach slowly, but close enough to get to you.

"I'm sorry, I—" he took a deep breath, alternating his gaze between your lips and your eyes. This didn't go unnoticed by you, but you decided not to say anything and just let him finish speaking "I just want to talk to you and I don't know where to start."

You laughed humorlessly, picking up the beer bottle again and taking another sip.

"How about the beginning?" the lazy smile, the shrug, and the lips pink from the pressure of the bottle made Heeseung sigh. It was now or never.

Then he came close enough to use one hand to grab your waist, pulling you towards him. The other went quite freely to the bottle you were holding so that he could drink, finishing off the contents in just three sips.

It wasn't a time for protest, but he knew you'd swear at him if you had the chance.

With a remnant of courage and his hand still on your waist, Heeseung used what strength he had to pick you up and sit you on the kitchen worktop, being able to stand between your legs and at the perfect height to lean over and get his face close to yours.

"Okay, we started in our last year of university, then" he said, this time staring into your eyes as he began to explain himself.

Heeseung had his first girlfriend when he was fifteen. An elementary school girl he met through some friends and suddenly they were together. Everything was going so well in their relationship until the girl told him she loved him. He could have said it back or even said it wasn't the time to say it back, but instead, Heeseung laughed. He didn't know if it was out of nervousness or because he found it bizarre that one person loved another like that, but he laughed. And that was the first time someone had broken up with him like that.

During high school, he also had other relationships. The brief ones couldn't be counted because there was no intense feeling, but the girls he spent a good few months with could all be considered to have ended the same way.

"I love you, Heeseung" they would say, their gaze not lying. A glow so intense and beautiful, Heeseung was envious because he felt that they all loved him.

"I… I'm sorry" was one of the answers he gave, if he could. Because silence often resulted in a slap or relentless tears that he couldn't get them to stop.

In university, his biggest disappointment was a few months before he had a relationship with you. Heeseung seemed to like his girlfriend, because he introduced her to everyone. Even you knew her, letting the girl join you for lunch a few times just because she wanted to be close to Hyojin.

Heeseung looked smitten in the eyes of all of you, telling you how much he liked her and how special she was. But as soon as those three words came out of his mouth, he froze.

It wasn't possible that a simple I love you could send Heeseung into a panic. This time he was sensible enough to talk to her and tell her that he didn't feel the same way.

At least she didn't slap you, he remembers Sora saying when he was crying in Jake's apartment, a week before he went to that party.

Maybe love wasn't for him and that was okay. All was not lost because Heeseung had managed to live well up to that point and he couldn't let it ruin his last year of university and, consequently, his future. So he decided that he would have fun, be with his friends, and not care about anything until he had to.

Waking up with you in his bed had been a shock because the two of you had known each other since the early days. You were Hyojin's best friend, you always treated him well and you respected Heeseung just as he respected you all the time. Perhaps circumstances led you both to do it and the relief that came when neither of you regretted it was indescribable. Then it happened again. Again and again it became so frequent that the two of you began to relate to each other beyond partying and drinking.

More often than not, you'd wake up in Heeseung's bed and he'd stay at your university apartment for a few days to sleep with you or just hang out.

You two are dating indirectly, Hyojin joked, which neither you nor he denied. So it went on until Heeseung felt strange. He felt an absurd need to be with you, his heart would race just to see you or feel you.

Of course, this was normal when you liked someone, Heeseung had already felt something like this… Hadn't he? No! He'd never felt it at that intensity.

"Jake, I need help" he punched the door to his best friend's room, grateful enough that it was open and he was alone, otherwise it would have been bad to ask Sora to leave because he needed to cry a little in Jake's bed.

"What happened?" the boy asked laughingly, but then began to worry because Heeseung seemed to be short of breath "Shit, dude. Breathe with me, okay?" he shook Heeseung with a notebook that was on his computer desk.

He seemed to be hyperventilating as he tried to breathe, counting in and out as Jake accompanied him. After a while he managed to calm down, sitting down on Jake's bed and watching his friend pick up the gaming chair to sit in front of him, the subject began.

"How do I feel when I love someone?" he asked.

"Heeseung" Jake said "Aren't you confusing feeling with passion again? I told you they're different things—"

"No bro, it's serious" Heeseung's eyes were already watering, not believing what was finally coming out of his mouth "How do I know that what I feel for y/n is love? Because I'm scared…"

Jake smiled broadly, explaining it to him in the next second.

Neurochemically, the brain reacts to the action by changing certain neurotransmitters. We then have an increase in dopamine, as well as rising levels of endorphin and oxytocin, the hormone of love, which increases feelings of attachment, well-being, and security.

Heeseung looked at Jake adoringly, listening to him explain everything he wanted to understand. It was as if he were at a consult with doctor Jake Sim.

There are also some signs, not neurochemically speaking, but which say a lot about how you found love. For example, you both feel comfortable even when you're silent. You make her feel good, in every way. And she does the same with you. You both feel free to be who you are, without fear of judgment or any bad thoughts. You always see her as one of your priorities or she does the same for you. You both admire each other. There's no room for jealousy – at this point, Heeseung sniffled a little – you don't think about what your old relationships were like either. And, most importantly.

That pause made Heeseung freeze, Jake's smile never leaving his face as he slid the gaming chair until he was kneeling next to Heeseung.

"It's the first time you've felt like this."

He knew it was. He knew that, for the first time, he felt like he loved someone.

Because everything happened so naturally. The casual way you treated him, the way you took care of him even though you didn't need to, and how you understood how he felt. It was strange that you cared so much about him like that, or took care of him down to the smallest detail.

Heeseung couldn't tell Jake how it happened when the exact moment was that he started to love you. If it was because you listened to everything he had to say and, even though you didn't understand, you smiled and asked him. You asked him to explain and took an interest in subjects that Heeseung swore no one liked to hear him talk about.

Or he fell in love because you had the best kiss, the best touch, the best sex, the best connection that anyone had with him.

Heeseung didn't know. He could have fallen in love with you when he laid his head on your shoulder in the college library, feeling you stroke his hair while you finished an extremely boring report. But still taking the time to cuddle him without any shame when Sora and Hyojin were sitting right in front of you. Or when you fought with Hyojin not to eat the ramen you'd bought, but as soon as he arrived saying he was hungry, it was the first thing you cooked for him.

Heeseung simply didn't know. It had just happened and he was sure of it.

"So that time I got weird and we drifted apart, it was because I got scared" he played with his fingers on your sweatshirt-covered thigh. You listened intently as you gazed into his eyes, too inviting to look away "I didn't know how to act and I thought it would be better to get away because if I found out what I felt, I didn't want to know if you didn't feel the same or not."

"Why?" he heard your voice for the first time since he started talking.

"Because then I'd be feeling everything those girls felt when they confessed that they loved me, and I know how much that must have hurt" Heeseung pressed his lips together, a little nervously as he lowered his gaze to your mouth, looking into your eyes again "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"For loving me?" you asked.

He denied it quickly, smiling simply as he rested his hands on the bench next to you.

"For running away. For being afraid and being a coward who couldn't bear the weight of loving someone for the first time."

As he spoke, you just nodded at every word he heard. Heeseung started to get even more nervous because nothing came out of your mouth apart from the questions he had asked and that could be interpreted as something negative. At least he had gotten everything out in the open and explained it in time.

"Can you say something? Even if it's to curse me, please" the plea was so cute that you laughed. The same action he did when someone confessed to loving him for the first time. Heeseung was almost peeing his pants like Jake when he talked to Sora, so he was really on the right track, he just needed to control himself a little.

"So can I curse you for taking so long?"

"You can" he said too quickly, mentally cursing himself for it because he sounded so desperate to hear your laugh again.

You didn't want to curse him, in fact, just watch how cute he was when he was nervous. But that would be too much torture and the pout he was making was already too kissable right in front of you.

Raising one hand to find his cheek, smoothing the skin with your thumb, you leaned in close enough to touch your lips to his. Heeseung whimpered in surprise at finally feeling that touch he had been longing for.

His hands grabbed your waist and pulled you tightly against his body at the same moment that the passage was given way and the two of you could intertwine your tongues.

The kiss, although full of longing, contained a slowness and sensuality that only the kiss shared with Heeseung could have. It was as if you were kissing him for the first time and all the flashbacks of all the kisses they had shared were running through your mind and him.

"Y/n…" he whispered against your lips after a while to catch his breath, his hands still on your waist while yours played with your hair and slid down to the nape of your neck.

"Yes?" you whispered back, feeling him brush his red, moist lips against yours once more.

"I love you" that phrase said for the first time to the person he was so sure of his feelings for. He just hadn't counted on it being in the kitchen of your house, of course, but the place was the least of it. As long as you were the one who heard it while he finished kissing you, everything made sense to him.

"Say it again, please" you asked.

Heeseung moved one of his hands up to the back of your neck, sliding his fingertips up to grab a good amount of your hair as gently as he could. He guided you so that he could kiss you again, this time with more intensity and urgency, pressing his lips and tongue together.

That way you knew he wanted to say everything at once. That he loved you, that he missed you, and that he wanted to apologize for the lost time. And you accepted it all because you were there with him.

"I love you, y/n" he said against your lips, panting and smiling as he slid his mouth over yours. "I love you so much" he kissed your skin, making your whole body shiver.

"I love you, Heeseung" you also whispered, feeling him squeeze the hand that remained around your waist and pressing you even tighter against him as if he wanted to merge your bodies into one.

Heeseung brought his face close to yours again, leaning his forehead against yours and smiling.

"You…"

"I love you" you repeated "I really love you."

"Then stay with me" Heeseung kissed your lips "To make up for how stupid I was to let you get away, I don't want it to happen again."

"You were an stupid" he murmured and you laughed against his mouth, watching him pull away enough to look at you. "But I'd be even more of an stupid to deny it."

"So we're together?" he almost shouted with happiness when you agreed, picking you up off the worktop and walking with you through the apartment to your bedroom.

"Yes, we are."

"And we're going to stay that way" he put you down as soon as he entered your room, looking you up and down and licking his lips at the sight "Because I love you and I want to remind you of that every day."

You were sure he would; with words, attitudes, anything that made you feel loved. And of course, you would do the same for him. Because you loved Lee Heeseung, just as he loved you.

© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.