#like a lot of characters have very light hair because in animu light hair = power and I don't want them to be particularly powerful

[ubejamjar]

I have so many thoughts. So many many thoughts. None of them involve tragedy or angst at all

[lunarsilkscreen]

The Person other people think you are

As a child that liked cartoons, video games, and anime, I drew a lot, and a recurring moniker I would use is "Zero". Which was a common Manga/Anime protagonist name at the time.

Some Girl convinced me to change the "z" to an "x" cuz "x" is cooler. I later found out it was likely because she liked Linkin Park, who used 'Xero' as their proto-band-name.

My mother loves that Maxis game [The Sims]. And in it, one day she showed off one of her Sim Characters she had named "Xero", which was a Green Alien woman.

This isn't one of those defining moments the me, not something that "deeply confused younger me and that's why I'm trans".

At the time; I was very offended. She spent my life trying to ensure that I fit in as a normal little boy, something I deeply hated. I had to my hair short, wear boy clothes, just be a boy.

And here; in that moment--she had affirmed my gender without either of us really knowing what that meant.

People see the person you are, but sometimes... They also see the person they want you to be.

This is called the Anima (or the Animus, cuz GENDERED WORDS) the Anima includes this depiction of person the world thinks you should be; the difference between anima/Animus is feminine/masculine....so the separation doesn't matter. Just that; women tend to be stereotype under the Social Anima(expectations) and men tend to be stereotypes under the Social Animus(expectations).

If you're born a men. The Animus expectations is how people see you, and if you're born a women, the Anima is how people tend to see you.

Whatever *that* archetype covers in whatever society you live in, because societies are different.

There's a handful of other archetypes that Jung uses; The Mask(persona), The Shadow(the extra that isn't you), and the True Self(the self without the Anima, Mask, or Shadow.

The Mask is the character we play to the world. This is influenced by anima, the popular culture, our idea of the person we would like to be. But it is more like a tattoo over skin. It's cool, but it's an act.

The shadow is the darkness we cast when the light hits of us, some could call this reputation, or pre-concieved notions.

It isn't real, but it creates this character of who we are based on perceived actions and behavior.

So the Mask, Shadow, and Anima(Armor might be a better modern word) create this other person we are not really. And some people, like trans people, hide their true self behind these things.

Because all too often; our true selves are so... Dissident with societal expectations, that revealing them is akin to [ritual of life].

This isn't *only* true for trans people, but it's the easiest to deacribe.

So Jung, and by extensions; Jordan Peterson acknowledges this concept as a thing that trans people experience. despite online clips often cut to suggest that Trans people are this [Menance].

And they acknowledge it because it's a thing everybody experiences it. But here's the thing; trans people can't take of that armor. They can never take it off, that's what makes us different. Because our Armor may as well be our flesh.

And so this person, this false identity created by the combination of Mask, Armor, and Shadow; this *becomes* the person other people think we are.

And for some god forsaken reason; when it's revealed that it's not true; because it's not true for anybody. This causes a sort of grief among people who know you. Relatives, friends, acquaintances whatever.

This is the reasoning behind "Don't meet your heroes" because they are never the person you think they are. *That* person only really exists on the stage. And is fabricated by articles, PR, costumes, and a necessity to separate work from reality.

We aren't often the person we dress up as for Halloween.

When trans people come out as trans; other people have to experience this ego death from the character they've created about them in their head.

As if they were [Insert Famous Pop Idol here] and recently had several back to back sex scandals.

This is why everybody likes Miku, Miku isn't real and can't hurt you in that way...though... Her studio sure could.

Tyler Durden Voice; "You're not your height. You're not your genitals... You're not your fucking chromosomes."

[for-peace-war]

No, really. Lovecraft Country sucks.

These are spoilers, but I also don’t give a shit because it’s a bad show and I hope you skim enough to fucking skip it.  I took a few days to decide if I hated it enough to write this and well, I do. 

I will try my best not to say “X is a bad actor,” but instead stick with the characters as they’re intended save for one particular issue.

The Story

It isn’t very Lovecraftian.  And don’t take this as me saying Lovecraft was some kind of master of his craft.  I think he was an absurd racist that used xenophobia as his guise for what truly horrified the sane mind. That being said, the element of the unknown is definitely the hallmark of his world and that in no way is represented in this show.  It could easily be called “Goosebumps: The Black Version” and it’d be just as authentic--if not more so, really.

The story deals with the Bible (?) and magic that comes from uh, knowing the names of things.  You speak a made up language and then you do some kind of confusing magic that has no real purpose or point.  I sound dismissive of this because I am, to be clear.  They could have just as easily had this language be something whites stole from Africans and then perverted into their own means of power (it’d be a pretty easy parralel to any number of imperialist issues left behind in Africa, huh.)

But anyway, it has a tentacle monster. I think we see a big scary octopus at one point.  But the monsters are often in your face and it’s probably less scary than Stranger Things S1.

Honestly, the characters repeat “autumnal equinox” so much that I felt I was going to have a fucking breakdown.  Just the writing is very empty and no one seems to really care about anyone else on the screen except for in a rare moment between the only two characters that make it far and matter. 

Characters

They aren’t very good.  There are tropes present, which isn’t bad at all, but the way the characters interact, speak, and in general move us through the story feels stilted, often nonsensical, and entirely reliant on the viewer assuming that the latest sentence spoken is the only one that matters.

Atticus “Tic” Freeman

A war criminal that derives his power from the white blood inside of him. Again, dismissive but true.  We see this man struggle to connect pieces to a puzzle and eventually he pays the price for it, but not in the way Lovecraft would have someone pay for endeavoring beyond their realm.  Rather, something about fate and a book. Look, honestly? Who gives a shit.  Tic murders a woman in coldblood and it’s never really touched on.  There’s a lot that could be said about militaries, oppression, etc, but we often see these characters enact violence and then the story skips merrily beyond it.  So yeah, he summarily executes a Korean woman and then is later shown torturing another, but it’s okay because he feels a little bad and fucks the Korean sex demon woman.  More on that later.   I felt nothing for him.  He didn’t have some deep animus over being a torturing war criminal.  He was just kind of moving through scenes and having confusing fights with his girlfriend/baby mama.

Letitia “Leti” Lewis

This is what empowerment shouldn’t look like. It amuses me that the show claimed to subvert some kind of norms when the primary love interest (and ultimate heroine) remains the lightest skinned sister in the room.  She is able to maintain the appeal of the ingenue while at the same time having the understood attractiveness of her complexion. As far as Leti is concerned as a character, she too seems to be a pretty shitty person.  We hear that she has “transactional” friendships and she seems pretty much all about self-survival and rarely if ever puts up where others do.  She’s a heroine in the sense that the story makes her be heroic, but it never addresses how her flaws are ultimately all self-inflicted and unnecessary.  She could just not be a shitty person.

Hippolyta Freeman

Well. Hidden Figures was an excellent film, and I think that’s where Hippolyta came from.  In a more serious series, perhaps she and her daughter could have had a very touching arc that would deal with survival and exceptionalism in a world that maligns you for your very being.  Unfortunately, in reality she just comes off as a character that’s quirky in a world that’s also quirky and she doesn’t get to harness her power. There’s an entire episode dedicated to how she discovers who she is and the result is well, her hair turns blue and she makes robots?  I think the character TYPE is great, but they misused her here in all ways.

George Freeman

Well, well.  If the series had remained about George, Tic, and Leti adventuring through America and encountering sundown towns and monsters both human and otherwise, I think it’d have been okay.  The issue is, they wrote this series by the numbers so George is immediately thrown away.  He’s a wise and circumspect guy that has his own flaws (he has patrarchical notions built around protecting/babying his genius wife, clearly), but the flaws he has are understandable and well reasoned. George dies early on.  Then he sort of doesn’t, I guess? But the fact he did was really the nail in the coffin for this series.  The moment they did that, the rest just became empty strokes.  A story where George witnessed the others dying and going back to his wife and daughter would have had so much more heart to it, but well.  Uncle George is literally one of the few bright spots.

Ruby Baptise

Much like her sister, Leti, Ruby is a terrible attempt at showing empowerent on the one hand, and a masterwork on the other.  The bad first: she’s a rapist.  I’ve been called a nigger before and while it didn’t feel great, I don’t think I’d have been justified in just sodomizing the person that did it.  That entire sequence was weird and they tried to hype it as her reclaiming something, when really it spoke to a disgusting and gratuitous tendency toward Ruby: she’s always too much. Ruby, IMO, should have been Tic’s love interest.  In a sense.  First, because Wunmi Mosaku was a very attractive woman with impressive acting chops (she’s where I’ll break my moratirum, sorry), but also because it wouldn’t be what you’d see in every other show now: light-skinned pretty sister, dark-skinned sexual eikon.  And that’s the issue with Ruby there: she’s always too much.  She’s sexual by existing and that isn’t necessarily to her benefit since Leti, the good one, is an actual virgin before her sudden period sex. So the narrative has already spoken as to how it views sex. Yet, because they tried to give Ruby these strange strokes, she comes out as an interesting character.  She has feelings, aspirations, and dreams that she’s kept from and that’s very real. In a story about the absurd, a sense of realness is a familiar handhold to gather your wits.  She’s all that, really.  It’s why she has the best relationships in the show, which is AGAIN an issue, but well. I’ll say Ruby was never bad to have on screen though I was disgusted with how often her blackess (and Blackness in general!) became the source of grotesque horror.

Christina Braithewaite

This is where I get annoyed.  My issue with Christina is that she should have easily been the most hated character, but they overplayed their hand with not showing how nefarious she was.  In fact? Christina and Ruby’s relationship is the only meaningful, real, and understandable one in the entire series.  I felt no joy during her downfall, because I didn’t really get to see her doing anything bad? Just, consider what the show is.  It’s about Lovecraft’s lore, ostensibly, which treats all non (specific types of) white men like dogs.  So Christina comes at it from the “white” but “woman” perspective and you know, she has moments of duality that you can say is she more white or woman here.  But they don’t execute on how sinister she should be.  She’s a little rude at times? Yet she is the only person to treat Ruby like she should be treated and she’s the only person that seems to have a goal outside of “the quest.” It really bothered me that she came out so well done, because either they needed to have her for two seasons and make her far more nefarious after the first, or to just make her less a force for good.  She saves the characters more than a few times and pays for it by being killed when she’s at her lowest.  Yeah, it’s... a weird take.  

Ji-Ah

What can I say?  There are depictions of sex in the series, and they’re all negative: most of Ji-Ah’s scenes, Montrose’s angry self-loathing sex with his boyfriend, Ruby’s morphic horror scenes.  In the case of most of those, there’s something being said.  Ji-Ah is a monster, literally, that could be seen as Lovecraftian in the sense she’s an exotic Asian woman that kills men that sleep with her.  So, HBO was like “we’ll blow our tits and ass budget on her,” and she exists for a series of sex scenes and vague, inscrutable... shit, maybe SHE is the most Lovecraft of all the characters! Anyway at some point she joins the party after confusing drama with Leti because they both fucked Tic.  It’s okay though, because Ji-Ah isn’t here for any of that now.  She’s the one who had the best friend that had her teeth yanked out by Tic, and also who was there when he shot her other friend in cold blood, but they get over that and she’s now their friendly red panda pal or some shit.  It’s fucking trash.   Much like the Freemans (sans Tic), I think she’d have done great in another show. But they rushed her story and it felt less Ghost Nation (Westworld) and more Masturbation (Jordan Peele).

Diana Freeman

Confusing.  A stock character (quirky kid that does art, is impetuous, and won’t take no for an answer) that is given a lot of screen time.  When she sort of hijacks an episode when two ragamuffin girls chase her down and infest her or something because racist cops.  Well, the story veers to her direction.  What can I say?  If you like 11 from Stranger Things but wanted her to have Mike’s attitude, well.  Here you go.

Montrose Freeman

He could have been a good character, I guess. He seemed unnecessary and often was there purely for an x-factor of “uh?”  Like, his infamous scene where he slits a two-spirit Native American’s throat after we learn that this indigenous person had just been restored after being raped by bad guys.  So there’s that.  Also I guess he was self-loathing so he beat his son (that may not be his son???) and also liked fucking dudes, which was I think where we were supposed to care about him. It’s like someone saw Omar was a gun-wielding desperado of drug theft and decided, “Well what made him okay is he’s gay!”  But it didn’t add much.  I get he was angsty but other than Tic calling him a “faggot” (one of the few good scenes between them in terms of emotion), it all seemed empty and kind of meandering. At no point does Montrose seem a part of the team.  He just half-mumbles, gets angry, cries, and falls apart.

Captain Seamus Lancaster

He’s barely a character, but I need to include him for another point. He’s the “bad guy.”  I guess?  He uses the bodies of black men to stay alive, which is actually a really smart reference to black bodies fueling the American system, but it comes off as cheesy because it just never comes up.  He’s cartoonishly bad in a way that he’s less sinister than a meme.  Compare him to say,   Ridgeway from Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad. One’s a sinister representation of an oppressive system and the other’s well, a joke.

Racism

How could this not be a theme?  The issue, as was shown with Lancaster, is that it isn’t even remotely handled with seriousness.  The best scene of racism is in the first episode when Tic, George, and Leti are forced to leave a Sundown county before they’re lynched by the racist sheriff.  The anticipation and animosity lead to some serious anxiety and it was a nailbiter.

But after that?  White people say “nigger.”  Then they get, I don’t know, raped or spit on or who knows.  A lot of black people talk back to the cops anyway in the 50′s and that’s cool.

But the real monsters of the series are all black people.  Let’s go through it: 

Tic brutalized women in the Korean War.

Montrose killed the two-spirit person.

Ruby rapes the shop owner.

Diane crushes Christina’s throat.

Ruby literally sheds her flesh in repeatedly gratuitous acts of the grotesque.

Even Ji-Ah, who’s not black, is a monster in the literal sense.  We do see the doctor that experimented on black people, but that’s about 5 minutes at the end of an episode that has a baby’s head on a man’s body so I was too busy laughing at the absurdity to take any real meaning from it.

The truth is, in Lovecraft Country, white people always should do their best to kill or keep black people down.  It definitely doesn’t speak at all to any togetherness or what have you.  Just, well. Magical negroes doing bad stuff because nothing can stop them.

The show misses the chances to show real horror in race.  Hell, the Tulsa Riots are reduced to a backdrop for a confusing book scene.  But then again, Emmett Till becomes a kind of empty reference point that we then see a white woman act out... for some reason? 

Again, the only characters with any chemistry are Ruby and Christina, which is very unfortunate for any number of reasons. As far as a statement that racism is bad goes, I mean. I barely saw it.  If I was a racist I’d be like hell yeah, Lovecraft was right they are dangerous.

Even when people try to indicate the horrors of it like, “Oh, the Korean War scenes are bad because we see how men are forced into the military complex!”  We didn’t see a white officer say “Shoot her, boy,” it was just two black guys killing women with no care at all. And no compeuppance, so that’s cool.

The Music

Sucks.  Thanks Peaky Blinders for making modern music over gif sets a thing.

Conclusion

I sure as hell would never watch it again.  If I can get one other person not to, then maybe it’d be worth it. It’s not a good show.  It’s not “smart,” and there’s no secret subversion in it.  It’s just... bad.

I won’t post on it anymore.  Please, in true Lovecraft fashion, trust me when I say that this show is so bad it cannot be comprehended. 

[chilicpepper]

Welcome to OCeptember! I’m doing this challenge with clusters by week. 

#1: Favorite OC

That’ll be Pluto, my favorite sona. Developed in 2019, she was made to be my self-insert in the world of The Executioners. She represents what I fear I would be if I had a worse personality or never tried fixing myself. However, many of the scenarios planned with her give her a redemption or healing arc that will help her grow to be a better person. :)

#2: Unexpectedly Loved OC

This one was really hard to choose, because either a ton of OCs or no OCs at all would qualify for this. I went with Hamsa Palmer because he was originally supposed to only be Pierre Amidt’s right hand man and bodyguard in my story The Illuminatist’s Acid Trip. He grew to have an actual face and personality and backstory from there.

#3: Least Loved OC

Dylan Kwan. Hands down most hated OC I made for 3 reasons: 1: He was one of a collection of OCs that were made in late 2019/early 2020 in a period I deem a cringe era because of a lot of ideas and actions I look back on as stupid and embarassing. 2: He was based on my brother and some other annoying and obnoxious content creators. I can’t stand his personality. 3: Dylan basically looked at Hyperlight, pointed at him, and had the audacity to say, “I’m gonna be him but better.” Which not only was stupid and full of hubris, but was also something he totally failed at. He’s in a better place now that I rehomed him in the Anomalous Research Institute with some other similar characters in the cringe era but I still hate his guts.

#4: Initial Designs

I typically don’t change OC designs much, if at all. Victor Afton (yes, it’s Afton. as in that family haha right Afton) used to be a cyborg corpse because it looked cool, but after reading The Twisted Ones and The Fourth Closet I realized that he could be an animus en machina, or “soul in the machine.” He has one of those disks that send out the deception frequency, for lack of better words. That gives him the appearance of a normal man. I really need to give him a proper ref because there’s so much to talk about him. He’s got 3 different versions of him now, pictured above.

#5: About the OC’s World

Let’s talk about Eta Carinae, shall we? I have to name for the actual world so I just call it Eta Carinae, the city most of the world’s development is from. It’s a place where I can move a lot of my Wings of Fire OCs to because I thought it’d be cool if they were in a cyberpunk world. The world of Eta Carinae also includes the Deadlands, along with a port city south from Eta Carinae called Capella. Eta Carinae itself is located at the border of 2 massive deserts and is kinda like a Las Vegas. An oasis in the middle of nowhere. To the immediate north is the Black Desert with volcanic activity and lava sand. To the immediate south is the White Desert, made of salt and very light colored sand. It makes for a very picturesque contrast at the border of the 2 deserts when seen from afar. 

#6: Regrets

I honestly didn’t understand what this meant. Perhaps regrets of what I should have done? That’s hard. I put down Expression just because I wasn’t able to use him that much when I still rped as him on the romac discord server. They still rp there, but it’s so fast-paced that I can’t keep up with my paragraph-response style. He was supposed to be a medic in training, but there were no chances for him to assist anyone. He was also supposed to have a little joke where he wasn’t allowed to enter the pub because he was only 17 and the rp kinda centered around a pub. That also didn’t happen. Final regret doesn’t really count because there’s still a chance of it happening but I still haven’t written my romac fanfic, Apocalyptically Romantic. It was supposed to be my rp characters kicked out of their rp universe and into a similar universe, just without any of the other rpers’ OCs. I worked hard on their backstories, so I wanted them to have more fun adventures than simply sitting on the shelf collecting dust. 

#7: Obscure Fact

This one’s for Hyperlight/Octavian Lung because I love him <3 and he’s the most solid, fleshed out character I’ve ever made. Anyways, obscure fact #342 about Octavian is that he dyes his hair a different color and pattern every month, and it’s usually seasonal themes. I drew him before on Christmas with white and red striped hair like a peppermint candy cane. Pictured above he styled his hair into strawberry blond curls. 

[animus-wild-magic]

One Single Page

Today I want to share the process of creating one single comic page for Animus. But rather then showing you the process of sketching, inking and coloring, which many great artists have already shared on the internet, I’d like to present a more personal approach to the entire process of creating the page from the very first stage. This is in no way a set of rules or even a tutorial, but it is rather meant to inspire you to find your own path, as well as expose how much work it can take to create each page, so that you know that you’re not alone, and this is no easy job. But we are brave, and we can do it. (:

Script and notes:

This is when I first take notes of the page, generally working with all of the planned pages together and in sequence, having the overall view of the entire story. Once the idea of the story is more concise, and the pages start to take their individuality, speeches are written down and some notes about settings and panels are taken.

Character design and studies:

Yup, if you’re gonna tell a story, you are probably gonna need characters. Some people like to create their characters before starting to write down a script, and some people would prefer to write everything about the story first. In any way, this is something you’ll need to figure out: how do the characters featured on this page look like?

Environment concept:

Since your characters are probably not floating in an empty space, it is important that you pay some attention  to where they are living, give context to their daily habits and simply know how to portray the background that are going to appear in each panel of this comic, or in our example, of one specific page.

Thumbnails:

Again, some people like doing thumbnails in parallel to their writing, and some people do not write at all, and just jump straight into thumbnailing pages with side notes to figure out the dialogues. Some people will create thumbnails as they draw more pages, and for me it seemed easier to just do the miniatures for the entire issue before anything else. It helps me feel like this stage was complete.

Environment 3d modeling:

Yup. That’s right. With so many complexity and so many panel to manage from such different angles, I’ve opted to create 3d models of my main locations in the comic. Whenever I’m confused about the perspective of a specific setting, or I simply wanna see how would that angle look when compared to that other one, I can simply “take a walk” around Arceria and the other fictional places of my comic. Many people can consider this to time consuming, and it might be depending on the theme of your story and how relevant some of those locations are. For me, it is a good investment and helps me a lot.

Role playing the script:

If you think the previous one was a little over the top or silly, this one’s possibly gonna make you laugh real hard. I choose important parts of the script and I record myself moving and acting like the characters in question. Yes, with the speeches and everything, and I’ll get to that soon enough. With this time consuming step, I gain for myself three main advantages:

1) Anatomically accuracy when portraying complex poses, torsions, foreshortening.

2) Gesture and movement. If I wanna portray a character in the middle of a jump, know what was happening in second before and what will happen in the second after is super relevant for purposes of stylization, and also helps convey dynamic in the fabric of their clothes, their hair and everything around them.

3) Facial expressions and mouth shapes coherent to what the characters are talking, the sound that is coming out of their mouths. If a character is saying “No!” you probably want the shape of their lips to have that O shape, but it is not always that obvious, so this can be pretty helpful.

Note: I don’t always do this, and I can clearly see how exaggerated this can be, but hey, I made a compromise to share my entire process, right? (Also, no, not gonna show these footage LOL)

Panels:

At this point I already have all of the references needed, and the first step towards actually drawing the page is drawing those panels. I do this with the help of Photoshop’s tools that allow me to use curves and handles, since my panels are pretty organic.

Sketch the entire thing:

Well, this is where we start to get a little more obvious and predictable. Just draw the thing!

Inking or line art:

Also a very self explanatory step. Just choose your favorite brush settings and line the entire thing!

Lights, color, aaaand action!

Time to color the entire page, again within your chosen painting settings and the premise of the comic, respecting the mood of the scene and some degree of stylization balanced with some aesthetic coherence.

Keeping track of your work:

I like organizing my pages so that I can see how they are working together so far and keep a record of how much time, in a average, one single page takes to be created. After that one single page, you know what to do: just keep doing it over and over again until the comic is done. Like I said at the beginning, it’s not an easy job, but I can do it. The world needs your story. (:

Thinking through the entire process:

You can see most of those steps apply not only to one single page, as the tittle would suggest. They connect the entire comic, because it is in fact one big project that cannot be disconnected from the final result that I desire for it. Each step and decision must take in consideration the entire project, and holding this goal near in sight is very inspiring!

[miamaroo]

Northern Migration- Chapter 16 (Note + Preview)

You can’t believe I’m already updating? Neither can I! There’s a lot of parts of this chapter that came to me really easily, and I can only hope that you guys have as much fun reading them as I did writing them. As always, before you give the rest of this post a read over, please read the actual chapter beforehand so that you’ll actually know what the heck I’m talking about.

Spoilers Ahead!

I just want to mention that this scene with Taako and Ren originally went on for so much longer than it does here. There was about twice the amount of bantering and an entire scene with Johann that I had to cut due to space. Knowing that this scene used to look like, this genuinely feels like the bare bones of what I wanted to write.

So why cut it down so much? I originally planned for it to be about 1.5K words long. It was 4.5K. I managed to just about cut it in half, but still. A lot of this arc is going to be weirdly paced now that this took over more space here than it should have. As you may have guessed, I did not take into account needing to write not only the Wonderland scenes but also advance all 20 of my subplots before deciding to spread the Taako and Ren backstory throughout the arc.

I’m still not going to make an outline lmao

Since he’s dead, I’m legally obligated to feature Brian as much as I can during flashback scenes. I love him and I’m sad he had to die off screen back in chapter 2.

I set up about two chapters ago that Taako is a strong enough wizard to make Ren susceptible to sleeping spells. That actually did not come out of left field.

I don’t actually know what I can say about the Wonderland scenes. I definitely feel like the fighting here is better than it was in the last arc, though trust me when I say that the goofiness of the glass shark reference is not lost on me. I got to make it even more MBMBAM filled than it already is.

Okay, so let’s talk about Sloane and Hurley. I’ve always wanted to put them in this fic, especially since this is an ensemble story so I have no reason not to feature them. The problem came in how they were originally in a plotline with Angus that I ended up changing at the last minute in order to do something else with his character. Without really knowing where I was going to go with their storyline now, I ended up putting off their introductions over and over again until finally figuring out where they were going to piece into things. The problem then became that, unlike Isaak who I introduced long before his plot is really going to get started, they’re now being introduced one chapter and then basically springing into their storyline right away. It’s technically better pacing to not let things just sit like I have been, but I am aware of how really quickly inserting them in is going to make it seem like their plot is rushed and shoved in there. So, to everyone out there, I’m sorry. I’m just a damn fool who can’t make up her mind with what she wants to do with certain characters.

Also, I should talk about Sloane’s characterization. So after looking over some of Sloane’s scenes again, I kind of realize that Griffin didn’t really give us a lot on her. I can presume a lot about her based upon her being a thief and such, but beyond that? There’s not a lot. We do know that she fell to the Gaia Sash’s thrall because it offered her power. I really focused in on that idea for her characterization, sort of incorporating what fanon says is her personality with this sense of powerlessness. I hope it works as well as I hope it does.

And, lastly, here’s the preview for the next chapter:

Six bulbs gleam over the Wheel of Sacrifice.

“You’re kidding!” Davenport exclaims, struggling to his uncertain feet. He squints at the lights, as if his bad vision will clear and it will just all be a misunderstanding. “That’s nuts!”

Lydia rolls her shoulders, humming a note as she sways in a little dance. “Wonderland is all about giving up the things you don’t need in order to get the things you want,” she says. “If you don’t think there’s anything else to give up, you’re free to leave. But the Animus Bell will go to those, mmm, other people by default. And aren’t you on some sort of god given mission?” She turns away. “But what do I know? If you want to leave, then I’ll point you to the door.”

“Captain,” Lucretia says. She kneels next to Julia, sorting through her bag for her mundane medical kit. Even if she can’t heal, she can at least stop the bleeding. “This feels bad.”

“Totally, but we gotta keep going.” Julia bites back a groan as she turns herself over, able to face the wheel. “That whole last round was on me and I messed up. You both have a hundred years more experience that any of those guys. It has—” She coughs, a little spurt of blood dripping down her chin. “It has to get better.”

“We can only pray,” Davenport says. “But we still have six spins.”

“That’s two each,” Julia says.

“Or it’s three for Davenport and me, and none for you.” Lucretia starts unspooling a roll of white bandages. “Julia, you’re barely alive right now. We can’t make you do that.”

Julia huffs. “Well, you’ve two options. You fix me up and let me have my share, or I get up right now, march over there, and spin as many times as I can before I die from blood loss.”

Lucretia scowls. “I will not hesitate to cast hold person on you.”

“Julia, we’ll see how you’re feeling in a bit. If you’re fine, you can go last.” Davenport ignores how Lucretia mutters under her breath, focusing on adjusting his red uniform so that he can have some semblance of dignity. He combs his fingers through his hair, adjusts his mustache, then marches over to the wheel. “Alright, Lydia. I’m ready.”

She grins, large and broad like a Cheshire cat. “And here I was thinking you were going to quit on me. You’re very noble, captain.”

He doesn’t respond, merely taking the wheel in hand and giving it a hearty push.

The wheel clicks and clacks as it spins, the colors shifting as an optical illusion before it slows to a stop. Instinctively, he steps forward, trying to make out the symbol through his blurry vision.

“Oh, that’s interesting,” Lydia says.

[lastsonlost]

WARNING: This post contains spoilers and discusses characters in Marvel’s “Black Panther.” I will feed you a nice Ghanaian jollof meal if you read further anyway.

Finally! “Black Panther” weekend has hit the United States. Marvel’s newest superhero film was one of the most anticipated movies in 2018, and already it is poised to shatter box-office records (the film is expected to rake in about $250 million this weekend) and Hollywood stereotypes about black movies not being marketable. Black audiences in the United States are planning special outfits and parties and raising funds to take children to see the film. But how do Africans feel about this fictional tale of Wakanda, especially when black people in the United States and Africa don’t always seem to understand one another? I decided to talk to Kenyan journalist and broadcaster Larry Madowo to get his thoughts on the film, Wakanda and… those accents. Enjoy! — Karen

Karen Attiah: Okay, so I know we are basically going to be talking about Wakanda, this fictional African country in “Black Panther.” I finally saw it on Tuesday, and I still feel like African Americans and Africans have still been speaking in silos about the movie, and not to one another.

So as a Kenyan, what did you think about the movie? How did you feel about Wakanda?

Larry Madowo: So Wakanda looks like a place I want to be a citizen of, because it looks like such a beautiful, egalitarian society, where the women wear their hair natural and they are powerful warriors. It is beautiful in that sense, as a utopia of sorts. Considering the mess so many African countries are in, it’s an escape to see what we can be: the richest country in the world, everything, vibranium in excess. And if you just think, if you build a model for the perfect African country, Wakanda is that.

Karen: With everything that Kenya is going through right now politically, with the messiness over elections, what did you take away from Wakanda?

Larry: It did make me think about Kenya because many of the problems that we have in Kenya — and in most African countries — are a byproduct of colonialism. … Wakanda was not colonized, so they had a chance to build a society that was free of European influence, whether British or French. We call ourselves Francophone Africa versus Anglophone Africa. We categorize ourselves based on who our oppressor was. I always find that a strange thing. Our identity is so deeply tied to our oppression.

Karen: What were the parts of the film that did bother you as a Kenyan? What did you think of the accents?

Larry: The accents are all over the place! It was jarring and annoying to me! They wanted to base the accents on Xhosa from South Africa, but some of it sounded Nigerian, others sounded more Ugandan. It was very confusing, and I understand perfecting an accent is difficult, but oh, my goodness, it was so messy! I really liked the costumes. They were great. But ultimately, Wakanda, at least in the film, is an approximation of African culture, an outsider’s version of what African culture might be like — the rituals, song and dance, the rites of passage.

Karen: Or even the ancestors thing.

Larry: As an African, I didn’t feel accurately represented in “Black Panther.” There was only one African artist whose song played in the background — her name is Babes Wodumo, she’s South African. I have nothing against Kendrick Lamar, but it would be good to be more representative of African music. It was a missed opportunity to shine a spotlight on African musicians on a huge platform. It would have enriched the story.

Karen: For me, it was visually exciting. It was like, “Try to find your culture somewhere!” It was like I was in African history class. I could hear the Nigerian accent. As a Ghanaian, I was like, “There’s kente cloth,” or, “Look, Shuri is wearing aggrey beads!”

Larry: It was like African bingo of sorts!

Karen: I was excited because I’m not used to seeing African elements on the big screen. Even African Americans here do not know that history or those cultural elements. I can see both sides, as someone who has to explain to white people and African Americans about the beauty of African culture and history. So in a way, “Black Panther” is a one-stop shop, get it all in an hour!

Larry: You know the worst thing? THERE HASN’T BEEN AN AFRICAN PREMIERE for “Black Panther.”

Karen: Wait, but wasn’t there a screening in Kenya, in Lupita Nyong’o’s home town?

Larry: That was arranged by a local movie distribution company and Lupita’s dad, who is the governor of Kisumu. But there has been no African premiere where the cast and crew came to an African city like Nairobi or Kampala, Johannesburg or Lagos — like they have done for South Korea, like they did in London or like in L.A. So this film that celebrates blackness has not had an African premiere!

Karen: But maybe that could be in the works? Lagos, Johannesburg and Accra? These cities represent the growth that Africa is experiencing, the modernity of Africa, which is represented in “Black Panther.”

Larry: I could see why they might not have an African premiere. There are less movie theaters in all of Africa than in just in the U.S., so you might not make that much in the grand scheme of things. But it would have been a huge symbolic thing for a movie that unashamedly elevates blackness. I have friends who are going in full Masai wear to the theaters! They feel represented, and yet, the promotion efforts kind of snubbed them.

Karen: So on tribalism and politics: When Killmonger ascends the throne and you realize that this man is an existential threat to Wakanda, you realize the other tribes don’t see things the same way. For me, when I went to Ghana for the elections in 2008, I was struck by how much tribalism played into politics, that the Ashantis were tied to one party, other tribes to other parties, etc.

Larry: Even today, African political parties have tribal vehicles. They will have a tribal chief who will have the power to determine elections. It is very rare across the continent to find a party that is national in nature. A lot of the conflicts across Africa are tribal. Look at Somalia, which has not had a functional government — so much about the clans. Killmonger, King T’Challa and the Jabari Tribe and how they all want different things — that is what goes on in Africa.

Karen: What did you make of the white characters in the film, the Americans?

Larry: When I was in the theater in Nairobi, and the scene where Jabari did not allow [CIA operative Everett Ross] to speak, the audience clapped! Africans and other black people are tired of seeing white men in white-savior roles. This time, a white man was the sidekick. He was getting his instructions from a black woman, Shuri (Letitia Wright). The representation was satisfying. Let us see some black saviors for a change!

Karen: The role of America is interesting in “Black Panther.” Killmonger, who was trained in U.S. military tactics knows how to destabilize countries going through tricky political transitions or right after coups. In history, you think of Patrice Lumumba’s assassination, and Kwame Nkrumah’s fall in Ghana, which the CIA had a hand in. It’s interesting that in the movie, it was Ross, the CIA agent — converted — who came to see the light about Wakanda and becomes an ally in their fight.

Larry: It was appropriate. Yes, for all the Americans who are upset about Russia interfering in elections, I’m like, “Really, America? You’ve been meddling in African elections since the beginning of time! And you don’t hear us complaining. It’s payback time!” The American in the movie knew how to destabilize and just meddle, because that is what America does best.

Karen: A big part of this film is the relationship between Africans and African Americans, and it’s probably the most complicated relationship in the film.

Larry: It was very indicative of the current relationship between Africans and African Americans. There’s so much animus or competition that I have never quite understood. Both groups use derogatory names to refer to each other. In Africa, African American culture is very big and influential in terms of how people speak and dress. But in creating “Black Panther,” Africans and African Americans came together to create art that black people around the world are proud of. But in everyday life, there is no such unity. I think it’s a vision for what can be possible when the two groups work together.

Karen: In some twisted ways, I identified with Killmonger. Growing up, part of my exploration into where my parents came from, I felt a sort of anger towards Africa. Like, how did colonization happen to you? And the poverty? How are these leaders not doing more? And being black in America, when we are going through fights with racism, police brutality, we wonder if Africans even care. And I think, “Well, African nations can’t help us. They can’t impose sanctions on America for its treatment of black people.” Which is why Wakanda is so amazing: It has the power to help other countries.

Larry: When it comes to African solutions … African countries gave aid to Haiti during the hurricane, Rwanda is taking in unwanted African migrants from Israel. But yes, there is so much more we can do.

A lot of people here supported Black Lives Matter and don’t think police should be shooting black people in the U.S., but they are perfectly okay with the Kenyan or Zimbabwean police cracking down on protesters violently. You speak out against an injustice half a world away, but when there’s injustice right on your doorstep, you’re okay with it because of the party or politician you endorse.

Karen: At the end, when Killmonger is dying, he says wants to be buried in the water with his ancestors, who would rather jump off slave ships than be in bondage. It seems then he personally identifies with slaves as his ancestors and not the ancestors of Wakanda. That’s how deep the divisions are [between Africans and African Americans].

Larry: It reminded me of Kunta Kinte from “Roots,” who was a warrior that was taken away. There are people who say of slavery, “I would have not allowed myself to be taken.” I see what he was trying to do there — my ancestors were brave. It is a sort of misplaced bravado.

Karen: And gender in the film? How women are depicted?

Larry: Africa is a deeply patriarchal society. In this film, women are equal to the men. They protect the king! They have a mind of their own. Nakia (Lupita Nyong’o) doesn’t want to just get married and be a trophy wife.  All the women wear natural hair. In the continent, where weaves and wigs are big business, it’s a legacy of colonialism that kinky hair is not seen as professional.It’s not what you get married in or wear to the office.

Karen: Ah, so you are #TeamNatural! And the power of the women doesn’t diminish King T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman). Africa has had societies in which women played more equal roles before the British came with their Victorian ideas about gender divisions. It made me think that Wakanda’s strength is how it capitalizes on the strengths of both men and women. In this #MeToo moment, part of the tragedy of sexism is that it denies women opportunities to be participants in society. Conversely to how women are treated in Wakanda, Killmonger, he’s this hypermasculine, destructive force. He kills his girlfriend who helps him on his mission.

Larry: I think he’s the personification of toxic masculinity that is so prevalent in black culture.

Karen: I think there’s a very American flavor to his type of anger, but I think of this especially in the wake of the Florida shooting yesterday, in which a teenager walked into a school and killed 17 people. He abused his ex-girlfriend and stalked another girl, before unleashing his anger and violence on others. But yes, I know sometimes that even Africans have an stereotype that black Americans are gangsters and violent.

Larry: Maybe that’s the one overriding stereotype about African Americans here that’s reinforced by hip-hop and quite a few movies. When Africans say, “I’m gangsta,” they’re always referring to the African American caricature.

Karen: Well, thanks so much. Here in the U.S., we’ve gone through a year of Donald Trump. We’ve seen overt anti-black racism. We’ve seen KKK marching in the streets, the attempts to keep out and/or deport black and brown immigrants. The filmmakers could not have predicted that this would be the political moment we would be in; it has come at a moment where we’ve needed something empowering.

Larry: After the kind of year you all have had in America, no one should take this moment away from you. No one should try to diminish it. From those of us from the outside looking in, finally we have a beautiful celebration of blackness. You all absolutely deserve it

SOURCE

TAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL.....

[philosopherking1887]

I wonder what you mean with "Loki’s Jewish-coding". Loki is a Norse god, of Scandinavian origin, not Jewish/middle-eastern. I hope I just misunderstood your fandom tropes because making him a Jew all of a sudden seems extremely weird. Scandinavians can also have VERY curly hair and straighten it because we don't like it.

Um… I’m sort of confused by the assumption that I’m an idiot that seems to be underlying this question. Pretty clearly, I hope, I was talking about Marvel’s Loki, not the original Loki of Norse myth. In fact, in the post you’re talking about, I referred to it as “[MCU] Loki’s Jewish-coding.” The reason “MCU” is in brackets is that I didn’t want to exclude the Loki of the classic Marvel comics—who, I think I recall @fuckyeahrichardiii​ telling me, is even more intensely and problematically Jewish-coded than MCU Loki. I read and write fanfiction about MCU Loki primarily; writers do draw on the myths that inspired the comics and films, but for the most part the more recent fictional representations are the basis.

Because I am not an idiot, I do know that Loki is a Norse god of Scandinavian origin, and it would be absurd to claim that the Loki of myth has Jewish or Middle Eastern characteristics. I have read, in connection with the controversy about the origin of Loki’s name, that he may be a holdover from an earlier, perhaps pre-Indo-European pantheon that was replaced by the Norse one. The Jotnar in Norse myth, like the Titans of Greek myth, do seem to play the role of “old gods” that might represent the gods of the pre-Indo-European populations that were conquered and/or displaced by Indo-European settlers just as the Jotnar/Titans are conquered and displaced by the Aesir/Olympians. Loki is unusual in being a Jotun who is accepted into the community of the Aesir – perhaps an older native god being borrowed into the invaders’ religion? So Loki is already an Other, an outsider relative to the rest of the Norse pantheon.

Despite the fact that Marvel was using Norse gods as the basis for their Asgardian characters, the comics originated in 20th-century America, which was, ineluctably, subject to a number of other cultural influences. Mainstream American culture has been primarily shaped by Christian European culture, and the Other par excellence of Christian Europe has always been the Jew. In European culture, Jewish men have been feminized and, especially around the turn of the 20th century, have been compared to or associated with gay men in light of their shared status as outsiders, as an alien and inscrutable Other, and presumed untrustworthiness. (This is brought out in an especially poignant way by Marcel Proust, a gay man and the son of a Jewish woman, in In Search of Lost Time, particularly in his treatment of the Dreyfus Affair, which was THE political event of the 1890s and left a deep scar on French society that still hadn’t healed when Proust’s books were published 20-30 years later.)

Marvel’s Loki hits many of the points associated with the figure of the Jew in European culture. He is the eternal foreigner in Asgard, his loyalties constantly in question. He is portrayed as sly and manipulative, always pulling strings from behind the scenes, forever plotting to take power from the rightful rulers of Asgard. He does tend to be queer- or feminine-coded, which on its own isn’t necessarily evidence of Jewish-coding, but reinforces the rest of the image. Aside from having dark hair while most Asgardians are blond/golden-haired—a standard trope for emphasizing the “Oriental” origins of European Jews, though many (like myself) are blond or (like my mother and grandmother) red-haired—the Loki of the classic comics also tends to have a hooked nose. (Which is pretty common among cartoon villains, especially sly and conniving ones…)

I first became aware of the implicit Jewish-coding of MCU Loki—which might have been unintentional, or just a consequence of the adaptation from the comics—when I happened across a couple of videos setting footage from Thor and The Avengers to songs from The Prince of Egypt, including “All I Ever Wanted” and “The Plagues.” I realized that Loki’s position as member of a foreign enemy group, rescued from death as a baby and raised, in ignorance of his heritage, as the second prince of the society that conquered the society of his origin, was very similar to that of Moses in The Prince of Egypt. (That movie doesn’t adhere exactly to Moses’s story in Exodus; Moses did actually know where he came from because his sister Miriam volunteered his birth mother as a wet nurse for him. But then, in some versions of the comics, Loki does know that he’s either adopted or Odin’s bastard, so that doesn’t necessarily spoil the parallel.) Then I noticed some of the other characteristics that set Loki apart from Asgardian society at large and his adoptive family in particular… I actually had Loki comment on it in my first Thorki fic, Desert Flowers, which takes place after Loki visits Berlin in the 1920s. (I doubt Antagonistic Anon will care, but some of my other followers might be interested.) It’s easiest for me just to quote that passage. Here Loki is explaining Midgardian racism, including antisemitism, to Thor:

“There are a few characteristic physical traits, though they’re not consistent. Long, arched nose; dark curly hair.” Loki stopped short, his lips pressed tightly together. “In general, they don’t look any more different from other Europeans than I do from you,” he forced himself to say good-humoredly. “In fact, I was given rather shoddy service at a few restaurants—and even turned away from one inn that I was certain still had vacancies—which was very puzzling until I realized that they thought I was Jewish… a member of this group, I mean.”

“Huh,” said Thor disgustedly […]

Loki cleared his throat. “At any rate,” he continued, “the animus toward them centers on their supposed character: greedy, ambitious, deceitful; physically weak, but clever and devious enough to gain power through indirect means.” Me again. Too interested in scholarly pursuits, not enough in manly physical activities; prone to neurosis. All too quickly, the list of antisemitic stereotypes that he had heard tossed around in Berlin had turned into a catalogue of Loki’s own inadequacies. While Thor is the very embodiment of the ‘Aryan ideal.’

Pretty obviously MCU Loki’s hair is naturally curly because Tom Hiddleston’s hair is naturally curly and they can’t always keep it under control. But in combination with its unusual color, the unusual texture and his apparently intense desire to slick it into submission spoke to me. I’ve struggled with the frizzy texture of my own hair, and a lot of other Jews I know try to tame it in various ways, while others go natural and embrace the “Jew-fro.” I’m sure Scandinavian people can have curly hair, and I’m not ruling out an interpretation of Loki’s dislike of his curly hair that has nothing at all to do with his status as Other. But for me it just fits in with everything else that I’ve mentioned.

Jeez, I kind of can’t believe I wrote that much in response to what clearly was not a friendly question. I’m honestly kind of puzzled as to why Anon was so bothered by an offhand comment about Loki being Jewish-coded. (Like, is there a problem with Jews “appropriating” Scandinavian culture…? Don’t worry, folks, Jews have absolutely no interest in replacing you.) Actually, this is the second hostile anonymous “question” I’ve received in the past two weeks, both with decently good grammar (unusual for anon hate) but premised on a wildly uncharitable, deliberately obtuse interpretation of something I wrote (my response to the first is here). If the second didn’t regard a pretty widely shared post of mine, I might suspect a single unfriendly blog-stalker. This is kind of weird, since I never used to get obnoxious anonymous comments; I guess the cost of gradually increasing exposure is assholes.

@darklittlestories, @incredifishface, I thought you might find this whole thing mildly entertaining… Oh, and @andreashwood, because you're a "Prince of Egypt" fan.

[clickbliss]

I Spent Quite A Bit of Time With Code Vein’s Character Creation

By: RJ (@rga_02)

There is a mundane routine with every video game review. You read through all the PR fluff that is sent to your inbox, try to ignore all the hype and discourse found on social media, and try your best to plow through the game as objectively as you can.

I did none of that. 

All I knew was that Code Vein was labeled as an “animu [sic] Dark Souls.” I can’t say for certain that it is a Souls-esque game because I never got past the character customization screen.

I am a sucker for customization options in video games. I’m even more of a sucker for anime garbage. Mix those two together and I’m easily sucked into something so shallow but engaging.

But it would be an insult to call Code Vein’s customization shallow. Dare I say it - it’s probably better than The Sims if you can deal with the anime aesthetics.

There are more than 30 premade options you can build from. From there you can get down to the nitty-gritty of making the character yours.

What I enjoyed the most is the vast color pallet you have at your disposal. Instead of your usual five or six color options, you are afforded the whole rainbow and much more. For example, the hair color option. You have 31 options to choose from. Out of those 31 choices, you have 24 shades to pick from. On my character’s hair alone, I spent a good five minutes because there were just so many shades of red. Did I want true red? Or Ginger red? Or Rusty Nail red? Even I didn’t know myself.

Going down the list of the advanced settings, there were options to customize that I haven’t even thought of touching. Eyes are one prime example of this. They go beyond just the options to change the eye color and sizing. You can change both the pupils and the highlights, and in the words of the late Billy Mays, “there’s more.” You can make them cross-eye, adjust the thickness of the pupils, and if you even want, have heterochromatic eyes. And for all you degenerates out there, you also have the option to have them have cat eyes so they can look like they are straight out of a rejected anime.

Despite looking like an “edgy” game, there are also a lot of light-hearted customizations as well. For one, you can stick an onigiri on your character. Don’t tell me that isn’t one of the best things ever in video game history. Kojima and his faux movies be damned, this is the peak video game design right here.

Joking aside - partially, it is great to see the nuance in all of this. While there really isn’t a real reason to have different shades of red or useless silly accessories, it’s great that there are those options.

It may seem like I’m gawking over every single mundane feature, it’s not all roses. There is a lot that could be better. You really can’t do much with the physique of the character. If you choose the female option, all it seems to do is just make their breasts larger. You can’t select which part of the body and adjust it accordingly.  

If I really want to be more nitpicky, I’m disappointed in the lack of costumes you can choose from. While you can make them look different due to the aforementioned color pallet selection, it’s still pretty bland. But in the end, there is an actual game beyond all of this, and costumes should be the least of your worries.

The aesthetics of this game isn’t for everyone. Folks out there will get turned off on how “anime” it looks or how questionable some of the costumes are. If you can stomach that or if that floats your boat, then you will be presented with something creative and engaging. I can honestly say I spent a good two or three hours with this creation tool - only to end up with a very basic looking character. But it’s my basic looking character. 

I guess I should now start on the actual game itself - or I could just make another person.

[insanemoonfish]

Why! those useless, vain forms are! so fun to fill!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal than milk, because I already get my daily intake of milk with my coffee!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No because it ends up messing with my nose! And I hate feeling cold!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I usually read on my phone or memorize the page number. If I really need a bookmark I just use a scrap of paper.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea bag in mug with hot microwaved water, coffee powder in mug with hot microwaved milk (plus cinnamon, sweetener, and vitamins).

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Not really but I dislike my face in general :'D I have this thing where I don't truly recognize my face as my own ???

6: do you keep plants? No, but I may keep a garden in the future because I love flowers!

7: do you name your plants? I'm the kind of person who names RPG characters as their class! So my plants would have very creative names like Rose and Carnation!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I don't really express my feelings, I stomp on them! But I guess I can draw!

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes, it's fun and keeps me awake!

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side until I'm drowsy enough, then on my back like in a coffin!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? What friends!??!? Jokes?? AHAHA

12: what's your favorite planet? Shockingly I don't have one! I like Uranus because it's light blue but the name!!!!!

13: what's something that made you smile today? MEMES!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Like hell!

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Why... okay. "Neutron stars can spin at a rate of 600 rotations per second." IDK if this is true!

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Instant emergency noodles!

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? White! I wanna be a white-haired animu grill!

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. What! Friends!!!

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes, I write down my nightmares! It makes them less frequent and scary for some reason!

20: what's your favorite eye color? Grey, maybe! All are great!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I have had a few school backpacks like that!

22: are you a morning person? I can function at morning, but I without a doubt work better at night! Not sure if that counts as not being a morning person!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? HAHAHAHAHAA!!!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? I DON'T EVEN TRUST MYSELF

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? WHY WOULD I EVER- some abandoned houses, some classrooms, some janitor's closets, some school storerooms,

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Boots > shoes :)

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? TUTTI-FRUTTI!!!! I'M CHEWING SOME RIGHT NOW

28: sunrise or sunset? SUNSET. SUNRISE SUCKS not only because it lasts for exact 5 seconds BUT BECAUSE IT'S COLD and school time! Sunsets are cool because they remind me of DEATH!

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? IDK I'm easily impressed most people can just breathe and I'll find it "endearing" and fascinating

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? YEAH DAMNED NIGHTMARES JUST

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS, THERE ARE 0 REASONS TO NOT LOVE THEM. But I don't sleep with them unless it's very cold. And black socks all the way.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. R E G R E T S

33: what's your fave pastry? IS THE CAKE THING OF A PETIT GATEAU A PASTRY? I DON'T KNOW MANY OF THEM AND I'M TOO TIRED TO GOOGLE IT

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? PURA THE TIGER, named after the tiger from Crash Bandicoot. It was the Parmalat tiger without the milk bag that I cut off. No, I donated it because it made me nostalgic.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Whas this :'D I don't care about pretty I literally only bring 2 cheap black retractable pens to school

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Don't ask me about music THANK YOU

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean because I'm allergic to dust!

38: tell us about your pet peeves! When people assume things about me hhhhhhhhh

39: what color do you wear the most? Black, reds and navy 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? A silver necklace with a black pendant! IT REMINDS ME OF DEATH!!1 I'M REPEATING MYSELF!

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Miserables! Even though I don't remember it well, even after reading it TWICE! HOW! YOU GO, ME!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I HAVE COFFEE AT HOME ONLY ‘CAUSE I’M BROKE

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Don't remember, wasn't special

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? TODAY. IN THE CORE OF THE STRESS ZONE LIES A SERENITY ZONE, ALWAYS. CAN'T MISS IT.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? NO. FUCK INSTINCTS

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I'M TERRIBLE AT THESE AND I CAN'T THINK AT THE MOMENT.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? P E P P E R

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? ANGRY PEOPLE CHASING ME TO HURT ME IN VARIOUS WAYS! YES!

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? NO! LONG LIVE ONLINE PIRACY!

50: what's an odd thing you collect? NIGHTMARES!

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I won't say names but there's A BOY, MY ANNOYING FRIEND WHO'S AN ENDLESS UNWANTED SOURCE OF SHITTY MEMES, that I always associate with the song "The Worse It Gets" from Penguin Prison.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? OH there's that jojo "to be continued" one, that brain illumination one, that one where a picture gets less and less detailed I don't even know

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Look this thing seemed smaller a few minutes ago and I want to finish it quickly and go to sleep

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? I'm the worst at recognizing what others are feeling and I don't pay attention because it's rude to stare and not my business

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? I feel that I have a lot of examples of this but can't remember a single one

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? When they're insecure, it's amusing like oh don't be like that I really am NOT judging you you're amazing, unless they're really nasty ppl ofc

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I like this song it's funny and reminds me of an old friend

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? ROFL WHAT

59: what's your favorite myth? Again I FEEL I can answer this but right now my brain is not working

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I like poetry when it relates to me or when someone I know wrote it, otherwise I don't bother (UPDATE! Ye Wearie Wayfarer by Adam Lindsay Gordon RULES!!)

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? My memoryyyyyy

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? If I'm having last night's dinner for breakfast, yes, orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? YES. ORGANIZED AND VERY CLEAN.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? BLACK AS MY NOT-RUNNING SYNAPSES

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? I'd rather keep them buried in my deepest thoughts, far away from my superficial consciousness!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? My  a e s t h e t i c  sense is terrible but I like carnations and forget-me-nots

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Bad, I like the sky when it's blue

68: what's winter like where you live? Rainy, lots of fog, unpredictable weather.

69: what are your favorite board games? mmmmmmmmm IDK

70: have you ever used a ouija board? ughhhhhhhhhha

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? Chamomile, it reminds me of my favorite horror game, Demento, and it’s sweet and delicious and pretty

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? If I didn't make an effort to memorize it, yes

73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my nails, neglecting people, being paranoid about some stuff, procrastinating, brushing my feels aside, I could go on,

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Well that's hard how about CANDY

75: tell us about your pets! THEY'RE GREAT IT'S A SHAME THEY'LL DIE SOON

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Obviously. Just OBVIOUSLY

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink, love pink, pink all the way, all the pinks.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? The IDC club

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Offer me their jacket when it started raining it was just AWWW. And when someone promised to be my friend FOREVER!!!!! HAHAHAA

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Nope because the bedroom is not mine HAHAHA well if I had one I'd paint everything white 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Chocolate, very sweet, much creativity

82: are/were you good in school? Can't you tell

83: what're some of your favorite album art? Don't ask me (8) about music (8)

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Absolutely not, it hurts, it attracts attention, it makes people know about me... If I ever got one It’d be a word or sentence or a small symbol

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Webcomics only, I’m... too lazy

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yes but... Lazy

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Cosmos is not a movie but here I am talking about Cosmos again idk if you don’t like documentaries go watch Gran Torino 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? I’m sure there is but my brain is out

89: are you close to your parents? No unfortunately

90: talk about one of your favorite cities. Any safe and at least moderately urban city is fine with me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere, I don't really like traveling, it's stressful and expensive

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I DON'T LIKE PASTA OR CHEESE FIGHT ME

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Long, layered, side bangs

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Why does this matter

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Working.. WORK.. AHAHA

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I never install them, when I HAVE to I plan for it because it takes forever

97: Myers-Briggs type, zodiac sign, and Hogwarts house? INTP Leo Bronzebird

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? No because I was with my parents

99: list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them. So damn many I should make a list

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Wow hum... 5 years into the past I guess because I'd be able to study more and live longer (why living longer sounds smart to me? I must like to suffer)

[pissbaby-lover]

OC Profile: Takara Kari

Takara is an old OC from an ancient roleplay I did in high school. She’s brash and playful, (and can be a bit of a handful) but is a kind, caring person… she just enjoys teasing… a lot. Say hi Takara. (Images are borrowed from other sources for reference only.) 

“Hey there!” She looks you over and grins, her furry ears twitching. “You’re kinda cute… so tell me about yourself; we can talk about me any day.”

Full Name: Takara Dawn Kari (Though she dropped her surname after she became estranged from her family)

~Called “Ferret” by most people who know her as her Animus form.

~After their relationship is more developed, she’s called “Taka” by Akira as he has difficulty pronouncing her name properly on account of his accent.

Birthday: May 2nd

Default Age: 115 (23 in appearance)

Human Form: 23

Nationality: Ferret Animus

Human AU Nationality: -

Default Appearance: Takara has rich brown skin, bright amber eyes and long fluffy, cream colored hair that rests right below her belt when down. She normally has her hair in a high ponytail and dyed brown as she dislikes her natural hair color.

She has large round ferret ears and a matching tail, dyed to match her hair so no one suspects it’s not natural.

Due to her non-human race, she has a slightly longer torso than an average human. Her nails are slightly elongated and she has small pointed canines. She has above average breasts (about C cup) and is moderately curvy. She stands at 5’ 6” in height.

Human Appearance: As a human, her features will be the same save for the animal ears and tail. Her hair is a tad shorter, the longest part measuring at the middle of her back when down.

Default Attire: Short brown shorts, a small green corset and long black leather boots. She wears minimal armor the occasional knee or elbow brace but tends to wear the most reviling outfit possible as she feels clothes “get in the way” and help her in her line of work.

She has a black belt with a visible dagger attached to it and a hidden blade in her left boot.

It is important to note that no matter what version I play of her, she often has the tendency to run around either scantily clad or in some cases completely naked as she has no shame.

Human Attire: Takara doesn’t have much of a preference for clothing as long as she’s comfortable and looks good in it, she’ll wear it.

Default Universe: Takara lives in a medieval fantasy era where the humans and the Animus, a race of animal-like humanoids are in constant war with each other. The countryside and towns alike show numerous scars from the battle fought there and both races have divided up territories they control.

There are few places where humans and Animus peacefully coexist and the prejudice runs deep on both sides. Humans claim the beast-like hybrids are no better than the feral animals of the wastelands, while the Animus say they are still far more civilized than the barbaric humans.

The differences between a human and Animus are very slight; noticeable feature changes from breed to breed, the reptilian Animus having small, fine scales covering their bodies and an aversion to cold. Aquatic types can swim and some even breathe under water. There’s several avian breeds that can fly or glide and mammalian types who behave vary similarly to humans themselves save for animal tails and ears.

The Animus also support a faster healing ability than their human counterparts, thus obtaining a longer lifespan. That being said they take longer to mature into adults and hundreds never see past their adolescence thanks to the human armies. (Dystopian) Future AU: (Age 23) Takara is a mutant who grew up in the slums after running away from home.

She’s a hoodlum and a sneak thief, working alone though her early adolescence until she encountered Tasuki, rescuing him from a spot of trouble. They were fast friends and now are as close as siblings, constantly squabbling with one another.

Collage AU: (Human, Age 18) Fresh out of high school, Takara enrolled in an out-of-state collage to get away from her family. She lives in the dorms with her roommate Akira, contently causing problems for him with her erratic and inappropriate behavior.

She drinks and parties excessively with her friends, but somehow manages to pass all her classes with honors despite her laid back attitude. Takara has a female pet ferret named Luci.

Default Personality: Takara has slight animalistic tenancies, such as enjoying climbing and burrowing in piles of clothes or blankets. She’s a very physical person and will prod, hug, grope, or jump on people she’s just met, or on occasion, people she doesn’t even know.

As Takara was the black sheep of the family, she tends to feel as if others are judging her character; but these instincts of hers only drive her to act the opposite of what society wants her to be. She’s always has a bit of inner turmoil before she acts, but that can’t always stop her from doing something inappropriate.

She is not afraid to show some skin, or use her assets as a means to get what she wants. Though she’s quite the tease, she’s unlikely to “put out” as she’s more in it for the chase than the prize. Takara enjoys riling up the men to get their attention, then disappears with a valuable or two while the squabble among themselves.

Takara has a playful personality and is very clever, often mocking others in good humor, only to upset them with her harsh words. She doesn’t intentionally hurt other’s feelings, but because she doesn’t always show remorse for her actions and can sometimes brush off another’s pain, she can come off as a tad insensitive.

While she’s not a very angry person, upsetting her is never a wise decision as she will often hold grudges and go out of her way to get the person back.

When in a relationship, most of her flirtatious behavior dies down and she turns her full focus on whomever she’s involved with. Takara tends to get jealous very easily and will hover around her lover or corner the opposing person and attempt to run them off with threats or violence if necessary.

She has a take charge personality and is not afraid of leading others when needed, though her tendency to joke around makes her difficult to take seriously.

Default Background: Takara is a ferret Animus, a race of human-animal hybrids that exist in a fantasy rendition of the feudal era. She works as a former thief turned assassin. Because of this, she’s sneaky and quick, making her incredibly skilled at pick-pocketing others as well as driving her dagger in the backs of targets.

Takara was second born in a set of twins to her Animus parents, the only thing she ever allowed herself to be second to her older brother in.

When Ferret Animus are first born, they have pale white or cream colored hair and fur that gradually darkens as the child reaches five years in age. Her brother Tavish Kari gained his coloration as normal, his hair and fur turning a rich burnt auburn.

Takara was not so lucky and her cream colored hair and fur never darkened, leaving her prideful military family to hide her unnatural coloration with henna dyes to prevent any possible scandals or rumors as the light haired ferret Animus were not native to her homeland.

Her mother and father are both high ranking military officials and her brother decided to follow in their parent’s footsteps. By this point in her life, Takara was tired of being treated as an outcast despite outperforming her brother on all combat tactics, their father still favored him over her.

Takara grew more and more rebellious with each passing day, and after a particularly nasty fight with her brother, Takara renounced her family name and disappeared into the night.

She joined up with several bands of thieves over the years, quickly becoming a skilled pickpocket and lockpicker though she rarely took more than what she needed. Her stealth skills caught the attention of a quiet organization of assassins and they quickly recruited her.

Unbeknownst to Takara, the organization was part of secret Animus military branch, run by none other than her twin brother. While she was miffed at first, her love for her brother kept her there as long as Tavish agreed to never reveal her location to their parents. She continues to work for the Military in secret, her quirky personality being the perfect cover for a killer.

Additional Notes: Despite being fraternal twins, Takara’s brother is two inches taller than her, standing at 5’ 8” and has brown hair (and fur) instead of blonde.

~All drabble written about Takara is canon to her character unless otherwise stated.

~Takara retains a prior relationship history with Draco, a Snake Animus and former rival.

They were together for 7 years before he was killed by Takara’s brother Tavish.

Human AU: Takara dated Draco in high school for about a year before he died in a car accident during their summer break before her Senior year.

~Because of Draco’s death, Takara is a borderline alcoholic. She won’t drink alone, but if you hand her any kind of liquor, she usually doesn’t stop until they run out or she passes out.

~Takara can play the piano fluidly, though she’s out of practice and won’t sound up to par when she first starts playing again.

~Takara is canonly paired with Kita’s OC Akira, and is single ship because she refuses to pair up with anyone else. I can still play her in friendly situations, but no romance whatsoever.

Drabble Links: ~In chronological order according to canon storyline~

Dark Era: Rediscovered

Dark Era: Rediscovered - The Fall /// blood tw, gore tw ///

Takara and Akira Drabble: Sunburn

Takara and Akira Drabble: My Reflection

Draco and Takara (Akira): Song Drabble - Only One

Takara and Akira Drabble: Dance With Me (All of Me)

Non-Canon Drabble:

Takara and Akira: (Collage AU) Sweater Weather

Takara and Akira: (Collage AU) Mock Date

Takara and Akira Drabble: Frenzy /// blood tw, gore tw ///