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puppyluver256 · 5 months ago

Text

I think it's time I addressed something.

cw: mentions of targeted harassment/online stalking, colonial/religious violence on mass scale, and ongoing genocide as a result of said violence

The names of anyone involved will be anonymized to protect people’s privacy. The only time uncensored usernames will be mentioned are in regards to people who have literally no knowledge of or involvement in this situation, and are not used disparagingly.

Recently, through a total fluke of curious self-googling, I discovered that a random blog I had blocked months ago had in fact posited themself as a """receipts""" (aka harassment) blog and had been actively trying to tear me down based solely on my attempts to keep my own sanity in a time of international turmoil--or rather, a time of international injustice. Even though it seems like the blog in question (which I will refer to simply as H going forward for the sake of their privacy, and if you know who it is do not mention it here or harass them in any way, shape, or form or I will find out and be deeply disappointed in you at the very least) has had a very narrow reach, once I realized that this was even a Thing and had some time to actually think about things after the initial anger and revulsion of such an act had settled a bit, I felt that I couldn't in good conscience let it go unaddressed even if it risked giving the source of the harassment even a marginally wider reach to continue their actions with impunity, especially when it was clear that they hadn’t had enough of trying to torment just me and moved forward with more insidious tactics that felt all too familiar. Because quite frankly, despite them going about it in completely the wrong way, H had a small point with regards to things I had said.

As you can probably gather due to the content warnings, this is about the horrors happening to the people of Palestine. Or rather, it is about my tendency to hide from the horrors of the world while online for the sake of my own sanity, with Palestine being just one of the most recent out of many over the years, and how my venting about being unable to do so consistently (and venting about being harassed for said venting, I will go into that particular issue much later) was twisted into the belief that I either did not care about or genuinely wished for the ongoing harm to an entire people group. The opposite is the case, in fact--I care far too much for my own good.

Let me make this clear upfront: the very first time I was taught about the still-ongoing issues between Israel and Palestine, in my freshman year of high school I might add, I was (and still am) on the side of Palestine. (admittedly the teacher tried to "teach" us about it via a stupid game that she eventually gave up on and just taught us the damn facts, but that's neither here nor there, the point is I learned what was going on a little less than 20 years ago and my opinion on the matter has been relatively the same since) I may be an atheist, but more importantly I am a secular humanist, and before knowing the latter term and taking on that label I was still an atheist even at the time, so the religious argument of "god gave them that land, they own that land" would never have worked on me the way it seems to with so many people. And tbh I don't even know if that's an argument that the Israeli government themselves put forward (it's a terrible argument no matter who put it forward), but I do know that christian fundamentalist extremists say things like that in their push for """god's people"" to return to """their god-ordained homeland""" so they (the christian extremists, I mean, just so we don't get confused here) can try to usher in the end of the world based on the drug trip of a final volume in their bizarre storybook and no I am not kidding that is literally what they believe.

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(timestamp'd to the relevant part, this vid is three years old and while this comes off as a little more neutral, some of this channel's more recent podcasts have expressed support for Palestine specifically when the topic came up)

So as you can imagine, I am absolutely not in favor of innocent people being slaughtered senselessly either for the sake of power/bigotry or for the sake of trying to kickstart a supposedly promised omnicide (as delusional as that belief is, and it's about as delusional as a socially accepted belief can be) because I am A Decent Human Being. I am also vehemently anti-military, in all forms, and have been since at least high school. And in response to a line from the post that spurned this one, "it's a genocide not a religious war", I have never once said or even implied this isn't the case. In fact, it's both at once. It is warfare, waged with religion as one of the motivating factors, against a people group with the goal and/or outcome of genocide. The terms are not mutually exclusive, and both are disgusting on their own, even moreso when one is the result of the other.

Addressing the vent posts/tag rambles directly:

This is something that is not going to surprise anyone who knows me to hear: I have the emotional constitution of an improperly set flan.

Human beings are not equipped to deal with our current 24-hour news cycle and internet rage-pushing algorithms, and I have found over time that I am far less equipped than most. Every single post about it, tweet about it, insertion into a video I was watching that gave no prior indication it would even remotely talk about it, it kept breaking my heart little by little, especially as I could do nothing to help and the charged language of everything was written to basically shame anyone who didn't do anything regardless of whether or not they were actually capable of doing so.

And then there were the pictures of bodies. Gruesome injury and death, over and over and over again. It was all too much to force myself to just helplessly watch, and I can only imagine how hard it is for the people actively experiencing all of it.

All of this on top of my more direct struggles--adjusting to a new house I never wanted to move to in a location I never wanted to even visit again, learning to care for a new dog and never getting enough time to get anything done as a result, constantly getting bitten by said dog, the brand new house constantly falling apart either due to shoddy workmanship or because of Dog, never getting enough sleep anymore (admittedly through no one's fault but my own), pulling my hair out over all this stress and then stressing out over that in a vicious cycle of bald--meant I had to focus on what I could actively take care of, namely myself, my family, and my living space. And when I finally get a moment to myself, you can imagine that it doesn't help in the slightest to go online and see a constant stream of global tragedy when I just wanted to chill for an hour. No one is equipped to handle this sort of thing all the time. And it certainly isn't helping anyone to allow myself to be constantly inundated by the torment of people I cannot do anything to alleviate.

The fandomization of tragedy:

This is another big part of why I had to filter so much. I 100% understand and encourage the making of artworks in the face of an injustice such as what's happening to Palestine, but something about it being intersected with light-hearted media just feels...unsettling? Disrespectful? I get it, people deal with bad stuff in different ways, but I just can't jive with putting the language of The Current Bad Thing That's Been Happening Lately into the mouths of characters for whom those issues would never come up. Like with that one post of modern-ized Disney princesses that included Tiana and Charlotte at a BLM protest, that makes sense as a modern interpretation of Tiana's pre-inciting-event struggles and Charlotte's determination to support her friend because Tiana was dealing with the much stronger systemic racism of the intended time period in the actual source material (albeit in a sanitized, watered-down, "we don't wanna draw attention to the fact that we pulled this sort of crap too irl" sense on Disney's part). But randomly having a character spout off Palestine slogans or flying a Palestine flag when their universe doesn't even have any real-world locations...just does not feel right, even if it is meant in genuine support. It had the same energy of those art pieces where all the fictional characters from different media would be sitting together on the couch, watching TV as the news of nine-eleven plays on screen and they all start crying. More of an unintentional mockery than the poignant piece it's intended to be. Then again, this is the place where getting one's important news items delivered to them via the infamous Destiel screenshots is considered normal, which half the time makes it hard to take said important news as seriously as one should.

This all came to a head for me with "Fakemon for Palestine".

I'm sure you can gather what Fakemon is through context, fan-made Pokemon, something I've heavily gotten into myself via the Cantessy project and at least three planned future Fakemon projects, and have been following plenty of artists and collaborative creators in the field for years now. I think the "Fakemon for Palestine" trend was started by the Fakemon creator PragMagik (if it wasn't then he definitely helped popularize it), and for the record, from what I've seen of the demiguy I believe his heart was absolutely in the right place. And it caught on, and spread like wildfire within the Fakemon community. And it Just. Felt. Wrong. All the cutesy Pokemon-ified takes on Palestine symbology just felt like it was making light of a very serious situation. I'm sure that 90% of those jumping on the trend meant their contribution(s) to be a genuine show of support for the Palestine cause, and let's be real it's probably a lot more preferable for those going through this to see fun and encouraging fanart rather than more of the death and destruction they have to deal with on a daily basis (if they even do get to see the fun and encouraging fanart at all due to spotty internet in what infrastructure remains or was cobbled together through proxies), but I still couldn't shake the feeling that this was inappropriate. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong.

What hasn't been publicized:

As mentioned before, I have felt as though I could not, and still cannot, do anything to help. I'm constantly in a state of decision paralysis when it comes to this sort of thing. Sharing everything that came my way led to the risk of just spreading misinformation, and taking the time to comb through everything would just make me shut down entirely. Donating to any old fundraiser was tricky, both because I don't have the money to spare and because I would have no way of knowing if the money would actually reach the people it needed to, either by way of the money being intercepted before it reached its intended recipient or the fundraiser itself being a malicious scam. Attending a protest would be out of the question, as I live in The Middle Of Goddamn Nowhere where there's likely no protests within 100 miles, and if I did manage to get to one and ended up getting arrested for the "crime" of speaking out in support of oppressed people, not only would no one be home to take care of my dog for way longer than I'm okay leaving him at home alone, but it could get more than just myself into trouble. My mom's a government employee (city gov, but still) in an unfortunately crimson red state, and while I don't know for a fact if me getting arrested as an adult would put her job at risk, I'm not willing to take that chance with her. I'm not putting my loved ones at risk like that.

Ironically I've probably been "participating" in some of the boycotts people have been calling for longer than they'd even been called for. Of the three I can think of off the top of my head, I've never gone to Starbucks because I don't like the smell of coffee, I can't stand the abusive business practices and environment inside of Walmart so I try my best to never go there unless something I need is literally not available anywhere else within a reasonable distance and/or timeframe, and I've avoided McDonald's for years because let's be honest, when a restaurant chain serves you two bright red burgers on two separate occasions at two completely different locations, you tend not to frequent that restaurant chain ever again for the sake of your own physical health. I know this doesn't quite count, hence the use of quotes above, but it's still less money going into the pockets of bad actors. I'm reminded of that post where someone was all "you people can't even boycott chik-fil-a", and it's just...yeah I can. I did it (and am continuing to do it) without even trying. Just because I didn't announce it to the world didn't mean I didn't do it.

Also, just because I filtered the topic on social media does not mean I was "keeping (my) head in the sand" about everything. I was keeping informed, but only when I was in the right headspace to do so, and with plenty of preparation for what I would be getting into, and I never felt the obligation to announce my attempts to keep informed because it would all be information better obtained from more appropriate sources than Some Random Nerd On The Internet Who Is Not Directly Involved And Thus Does Not Have Proper Perspective Or Any Sort Of Media Sensitivity Training. That's all I was ever upset about wrt the content of the initial vent post: I wanted the chance to prepare myself for what I would be seeing, and people were refusing to let me have that chance and then directly berating anyone else who wanted the same. My only real wrongdoing here was complaining about things in spaces where one can openly complain about things and not being the most tactful about it.

To paraphrase a friend of mine I was discussing this whole with, if we had to turn off our computers to avoid seeing senseless violence as a result of military aggression, the internet would not exist because the world has been in war for practically forever. The world is always in conflict, always messed up, and just not wanting to see it all the time because of how much everything is right now is not a morally incorrect action but a tired one, and one is allowed to be tired. (or more specifically in my case, emotionally overwhelmed)

Misinterpretation:

I'll admit, I was too upset to force myself to read H's posts in too much detail, but in what I could remember I noticed several misinterpretations, whether genuine or intentionally twisted I can't tell. One was stated above, another I remember was criticism of my using the phrase "upsetting event" wrt trying to filter, well, upsetting events. In general. Not just this one, but any upsetting event. I was defending the use of filters for people to keep themselves safe online regardless of what it was they decided to filter. Celebrity deaths, celebrity controversy, widespread diseases, natural disasters, and yes, any form of global injustice. I was being vague for the purposes of letting anyone fit in whatever thing they'd find upsetting and needing to filter, and that was deliberately taken as me dismissing a very specific travesty. I encourage people to educate themselves on such things that they may need to have filtered whenever possible, but no good comes from people forcing themselves to get tragedy-jumpscared at any moment with no warning whatsoever. In my case, I oftentimes forget entirely to clear out my filters when I'm in a mindset to not need them anymore. But make no mistake, just because I need to filter something doesn't mean I don't care about said thing. In fact, I would've just kept it to Xkit filters rather than vanilla Tumblr filters, as from there I at least have the warning button to where I could open it up if I was in the proper headspace, if not for my morning phone scroll not at all being the proper headspace for me in the slightest.

Also, many instances of me venting on the "I can't curate my feed when no one wants to meet anyone halfway" issue? Not even related to something even remotely as serious as what has been claimed is the sole focus of my venting, in so far as I can recall. You wanna know some of the other things that are in my filters? The wizard school book and its author. (bad example tbh, what with the end goal of that bitch's transphobic statements/actions making it just as serious) The show about an undersea kitchen cleaning tool who wears angular clothing. The show about a hotel in hell and its spinoff and also anything its main creator has ever touched. Freaking spíders. And yet no matter how many variations of filters I apply, those too keep leaking through to me, that second one in particular due mostly to its omnipresence in meme culture and no one thinking to use fandom tags for what are considered general purpose memes. And that's not even taking into account the people who think it's even remotely okay to censor serious topics that many people need to blacklist. We've all seen and raged at the growing tendency of people "warning" for "r*pe" or "5u1c1d3" / """unaliveing""" or "dr-ug u-se" or "4l-c0-h0l" or "g*ns", after all. (for those using screenreaders who just got a blast of Absolute Audio Garbidge in their ears, those words were "rape", "suicide", a nonsense word that means nothing, "drug use", "alcohol", and "guns", and I'm sorry if those words/phrases coming at you with no warning was distressing to you)

Conclusion:

TL;DR, I used various social media's moderation features to try and hang on to the last strands of sanity I have after both my life and a far-off part of the world have been turned upside-down last year, and I was """called out""" for publicly being upset that people were actively making that more difficult. I was upset that someone (almost certainly H) sent me aggressive messages berating me for being upset, using the deaths of real innocent people as a weapon to do so. I was told the typical "curate your feed" line when the thing that I was complaining about in the first place was that I could not effectively do that. I was repeatedly attacked for daring to complain about something that was stressing me out, and my complaints were archived and posted in such a manner where they could be dissected, reinterpreted, and attacked some more with no way for me to directly defend myself because I literally could not see them until a random google fluke led me to discovering the harassment campaign that had been going on for months.

If you were hurt by my words, if the interpretation of my statements led you to consider me to be something I very much try not to be, I would not blame you. Quite frankly, you have every right to feel that way. It was very easy to see my wording as callous and cruel, even if from my perspective it was simply tactless and frustrated. I will not be deleting anything that I have said wrt circumvented filters and the messages I've received, partly because I feel it important to take accountability for when I've unknowingly upset someone and partly because I can't be assed to find all of it, especially when someone thought it was a good idea to "preserve" it without my consent anyway to make any such deletion a waste of my time. And to a specific someone, who I will refer to as A, I apologize to you in particular because I had briefly suspected you of being the person behind this. I thought you were understandably upset about everything going on (as you have more direct connections to this than anyone I know) and taking it out on me, so I’d unfollowed you with the mistaken understanding that you didn’t want me around anymore. I now have no reason to believe this was the case, and I’m sorry for ever suspecting you.

In a better world, someone who was upset by my statements would've taken the time to try and have a conversation with me about my lack of tact on the matter, an actual one-to-one conversation and not just yelling at me in my inbox, treating me like a fellow human being to be informed or convinced rather than a monster to be spat upon. But then again, in a better world, none of this would be an issue because everyone would be safe and thus there would be no death and destruction for me to desperately try to hide from. And of course, there's a possibility that maybe someone did try to talk to me in a good-faith manner, and I just never saw their attempts because I was filtering the words they were using.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, only understanding, and I hold no ill will to anyone who saw me venting about my attempts to protect myself from further heartbreak (among other less serious things) being constantly and purposefully circumvented as more than what they were.

Except for You, H.

(note: the rest of this post is referring to H and H alone, if you are not H [and you will know whether or not you are] feel free to keep reading but remember you are not the intended target of the anger contained in the ongoing text)

Yes, I'm talking to you, H, as unlike you I have no intention to "archive" your posts to harass and berate you. Because that’s what you’re doing, you’re harassing me, and that’s why I have called you H: the H is for “harasser”. I have no doubt you will be reading this post, as you're probably still "keeping tabs" on me to find more things to add to your little archive of ire, if recent developments are anything to go by. Who keeps a """receipts""" blog in 2024 anyway, let alone for something as petty as tactless takes on the internet? If I was actively contributing to those perpetuating the genocide it'd be more understandable, but to go through all this effort to smear someone who just wants to take a moment to scroll through social media without getting slapped in the face with Another Dead Fucking Body with no warning or opportunity to prepare for it? This is just cruelty for cruelty's sake, and you know this, and you don’t care.

You claimed I would make "bait posts" to try and do...something, I don't even know where you were going with that. I'll admit I don't remember much of what I wrote, and I don't have the mental fortitude to wade through your blog again to get berated from the past yet again, but the only thing I have ever wanted from you was for you to leave me the hell alone. By your logic, I suppose the Nexgard and Heartgard I give to my dog every month are meant to attract ticks rather than repel them. Or that the bug man comes once a year to line the outside of the house with a chemical that lures spíders and other pestly invertebrates into our living space. I’ve tried everything in my power to get you to go the fuck away and you refuse to leave! You refuse to get out of my life!

You all but explicitly called me a zionist for daring to want to have some peace in my life, when I have never been anything of the sort. Scroll back up if you want a refresher of my feelings on the matter, the tl;dr being that I am against ethnostates regardless of who the attempted "ethno" of that "state" is and I condemn any and all forms of genocide, religiously motivated or otherwise. But I know you won’t have bothered to absorb any of that, as you not only seem to be the premier of “piss on the poor”, but the king (gender neutral) of “I think Coolsville sucks”.

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(for those who don’t know what I’m talking about, tried to find the screencaps with added context but I couldn’t so you get the clip)

You carefully made sure there was no way I would find your blog and your targeted harassment under normal circumstances--even with that one instance of you commenting directly on my post that led to me blocking you, you'd tagged all of your posts with tags you either knew or suspected I would have filtered via vanilla Tumblr so that I could not see it while logged in even if I unblocked you or told Tumblr to show me your blog despite my block, or perhaps you blocked me on that blog and Tumblr finally fixed the issue of blocked users being able to view the blogs of those that blocked them (I doubt it, given what you've been doing). Hell, I only found out about this in the first place from a mere google fluke, trying to make sure my own inattentiveness on a completely unrelated issue didn't lead to someone doing exactly what you've done on that issue and just so happening to be on an incognito window while doing so.

And don't think for a second I didn't notice all the "she"s and "her"s in your main post about me. Anyone who looks at my blog can see that I go exclusively by they/them pronouns, and I have been exclusively using they/them pronouns for years. There's literally no excuse for she/her-ing me throughout all of the insults and jabs, just the perfect slathering of piss icing on that turd cake you baked. You do know that correctly gendering people is something you need to do even if you don't respect them, yes? Like no decent trans-supporting person would call Caitlyn Jenner or Blair White by anything other than their chosen names and correct pronouns, we'd just call them awful people while still calling them women and using their current names, because that's what and who they are. It's no different here--even if you feel I've done too much wrong to be deserving of your respect as a person, that's no excuse to disrespect my identity as a nonbinary individual. My right to be correctly addressed is not conditional based on whether or not you personally like me.

But here's the kicker in this whole thing: I don't believe for a second that you actually give two shits about the plight of the Palestinian people beyond some vague sense of "clout". I can't even bring myself to call you a slacktivist, as slacktivists at least tend to spread helpful information about things they care about. I looked at your blog, its layout themed around the symbols of Palestinian liberation, and as far as I can tell it's all just window dressing. One would think you'd have links to aid for the victims, news posts, anything remotely helpful, but searching "aid" or "donate" or anything similar on your blog brings up a blank page. Hell, with the vindictive nature of your blog, you'd think you'd’ve even had posts targeting other peoples who are at best trying to get on with their lives through the 24-hour news cycle of death and destruction or at worst actively supporting the deaths of innocents. (I still wouldn't encourage such things, but it'd at least make sense given your general vibe) But no, I went through the entirety of your blog's posts and up until recently (we will get to that) it's only posts focused on me. Berating me. Taking screenshots of my posts and my tags on said posts and/or reblogs, even those that are completely unrelated to this issue which you decided to interpret in the least generous way possible, misgendering me all the while. No one else, no-thing else. Just me.

This isn't about Palestine to you, not really. Palestine is just a convenient cudgel to use in your true goal: tearing me down as some sort of personal grudge. And the worst thing is, despite recent actions all but confirming my suspicions, I can’t definitively prove who you are or why you would be motivated to do this before any of this happened, you've made damn well sure of that. There's no way that blog isn't a sideblog, it's too devoid of anything Personal not to be. And I wouldn't be surprised if every single one of the hateful anonymous asks I've ever gotten over the past few years had been sent from one person, and I believe that person is and has always been none other than you.

I would say you should be ashamed of yourself, but let's be real, someone who runs a blog dedicated to a smear campaign against one single person is almost entirely immune to the concept of shame, especially when they're so far up their own ass so as to convince themself that doing so is somehow the good and noble thing to do. Clearly someone who thinks it's in any way appropriate to tell someone, and I'm quoting mostly from memory as it's been months, "I'm sure all those dead kids are glad you're protecting your mental health" has NO sense of shame whatsoever. If I were to stoop to your level, I’d tell you that those same dead kids are probably really proud of you for harassing someone who has, at worst, made some tactless statements out of frustration. But I’m not you. Those dead kids are dead, and needlessly so. They’re not glad for my mental health (even sarcastically as you meant it) nor proud of you for harassing people online, nor are they scared or sad or angry or at peace or anything. They are dead. Murdered. And you dared to use their deaths for your own selfish purpose of furthering your pathetic grudge.

What do you even hope to gain from doing this? The knowledge that you've deeply hurt me? My complete and total isolation from anyone I care about online, perhaps culminating in my disappearance from the internet altogether? My inability to fully engage in the fandom of any media I enjoy or any multifandom art events, seeing as how you tried to attack my potential participation in Art Fight too? The ruination of my only ability to make any small semblance of an income? The right to dictate what I see and post online? A reaction of any kind? Because you've certainly gotten that last one now, if nothing else. Whatever the case, I know nothing I do will ever satisfy you or get you off my back, and you've made it so that I can't even force you out of my life--I'd already blocked the blog you were using to do this, and yet you kept stalking me to find any scrap you could use to make me look worse than what I'd ever said or believed (that's what we call "block evading", btw, and it's against tos on basically every major social media platform), and I can't figure out what Twitter account you'd been using to stalk my Twitter page since some loser who thinks he has any right to the place decided to make Twitter visible only to people who are currently logged into Twitter, meaning you have to have one too.

You don’t intend to make the world a better place by doing this, not in the slightest. No, instead you've just berated the "snowflake trigglypuff" for trying to keep their "safe space" intact, while painting that sentiment in the language of the social justice warrior you believe yourself to be rather than that of the crazy altright loser I believe (or at least hope) you'd find as repulsive as I do so that no one would clue in that that is in fact what you were doing.

And then you had the nerve to go after two of my friends, M and C. Maybe you’ve gone after more than just them, but these are the two I know of for certain. M told me directly, and I saw C’s post about getting an anon “warning” her about someone with an “anti-religion agenda”, and because I’m not a complete moron I could put two and two together because that’s the kind of bullshit religious people spread about atheists all the damn time. And while I admit I don’t see religion in the best light, I don’t have an “””agenda””” to take the comforting aspects of religion away from people. I counter the harm of genuinely dangerous beliefs and stand against fundamentalists and their goal of getting everyone to follow their exact belief system and theirs alone, but if someone donates to charity (and I mean actual charity, not just giving money to their religious organization) or gets involved in beneficial activism because that’s what their religious belief encourages, I have no problem with it. Like I’ve said numerous times, I’d take a dozen progressive theists over one asshole atheist. But more to the point, what makes you think you have the right to bring in people who have literally nothing to do with any of this? Whatever your goal was with that, it was your final mistake, because now I know exactly who you are.

This has happened before, H.

You’ve likely done this before, H, and I know someone exactly like you has.

Because this is all too reminiscent of something that went down four years ago with one of my friends during a time when they were suffering, and just as I stood by their side back then, I refuse to stand by and let you target me and my friends like that now. It saddens me that in four years time people still haven't learned to try and be better than this, and while that person was an angry teenager back then and didn’t have the tools to appropriately deal with their personal problems with others, you are presumably an adult. You need to start acting like it and find a better way to deal with your interpersonal problems, and using the pain and suffering of others is NOT the way to do it.

My problem was that I had no choice but to temporarily close off my heart in order to keep it from breaking every time I opened social media for five minutes, protecting myself from my own tendency to care too much while unintentionally making it seem like I didn't care at all. Your problem is that you used the deaths of real, innocent people to try and turn an unemployed queer nd artist into an emotionally broken persona non grata and make yourself look like a big damn hero, hiding your personal grudge under the veneer of giving a shit about people desperately hanging on through atrocities directed toward them, and also try to bring down said artist’s completely uninvolved friends in the process in order to further salt the wound. But you are no hero, nor am I a villain, and I would not be so gauche as to claim the reverse is true either. We're just a couple of randos on the internet, one who has an unhealthy level of vitriol toward the until-recently clueless other. And I have no doubt that you will not listen to a damn thing in this post, and perhaps you will purposefully twist this into some "(they) only wrote this because (they) got caught!!" nonsense or claim that I'm lying about everything in this post that doesn't 100% accept your interpretation of things since I don't remember every single thing I've ever said in any given vent post/tag ramble or I don't address every single point you made (spoiler alert, most people don't have the patience or energy to read in-depth A Wall Of Insults Based Solely On Malicious Misinterpretation, so "forgive" me for merely skimming your blog and not allowing you to take up any more of my time than you already have, except don’t because I’m not apologizing to you for having been an until-recently unaware victim of ongoing harassment), because someone like you can't stand the thought of someone you don't like learning from their mistakes and improving themself. But on the slight chance that this actually does get through to you and make you think for two goddamn seconds and realize the true nature of what you've been doing, here's my final message to you:

Get some help, H. Stop obsessing over me. Learn to try and have an actual conversation with someone you have an issue with instead of immediately going into a tirade of insults and accusations. And if you really do care about Palestine and aren't just using their hardships as an excuse to tear down someone you hate, go do something actually useful for the cause. You don't even have to publicly announce it if you don't want to, though if you had done anything useful by now you seem like the type who would absolutely shout from the rooftops about it for the internet brownie points. Just stop wasting your time with a small potato like myself and focus on the big picture.

Now then, I'm going to keep doing what I do with the addition of trying to improve myself wrt complaining about serious stuff in public like I have been, y'all can keep doing what you think is best for yourselves, and as for H...please, for your own sake if not for any other reason, channel that anger into something productive. It's what I try to do when I'm upset with something or someone, and it usually helps. Harassing randos on the internet isn't helping anyone, not even yourself.

EDIT: Altered an admittedly accusatory part to be less directly so, just on the off-chance that I am wrong about this person's identity. I'm still fairly confident, but I don't want to be THAT guy, especially with someone like the person that spurned me on to make this post in the first place. As you can understand, I was and still am very angry that I had to make this post at all, and I historically don't make very good decisions when I'm angry. Especially when my friends are roped into this.

#jess rambles #long post #like very long #like ''maybe go get a snack and a drink if you wanna sit through this whole thing'' long #knock knock get the door it's religion #and how it leads people to do terrible things #(no i don't think my harassment is religiously motivated I'm Talking About The Big Thing)#cw:#harassment #genocide mention #death mention #child death mention #war mention

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