#like UGH she doesn't do this for MONEY she does it because it's her DUTY it's her PURPOSE

[zarvasace]

Ugh tumblr is not cooperating with my readmores and art. Oh well we can do it this way. AU masterpost

Say hello to Shackle and Nothing, dark Wind and dark Time :D more art and long descriptions beneath the cut!

Shackle

Shackle is dark Wind. 

To me, one of Wind’s core themes is freedom. He goes wherever he wants on his boat (and has fun), he frees a couple girls from the Helmaroc King, and when I think of him, I think of wild blue skies and an endless horizon. He loves life and is one of the most determined heroes. 

Shackle, on the other hand, is a bit of a control freak. He doesn't mind not being in charge all the time (he does mind, but he doesn't like to be challenged, and knows that he'd lose any fight for the top place, so he pretends to not care) but he does mind when things don't go his way. If someone or something is annoying him or not listening to him, he will readily use one of the many chains he carries to threaten or restrain. He likes being in control of others, and he likes when people are afraid of him. He keeps fairies nearby, not so much in case of healing, but because he can shake their bottles and listen to them chime in fear. 

Shackle is a rather skilled manipulator, and one of the few Darks that look pretty much human, so he's often the one to head excursions into town (Prince is more of a charismatic diplomat, but his powers don't work on whole crowds at a time.) Because of his strength and chains, he's often the one to be on Dire duty, something he doesn’t mind much. Shackle is also very fond of money and luxury. He’ll pinch rupees on anything that doesn't have to do with him, like someone else’s supplies, but he's happy to splurge on himself. 

He doesn't have any mystical powers, but he does have enchanted chains that grow and shrink according to his needs. He eats food like any mortal. He's as young as Wind is but is more often successful at bluffing his way into bars and the like. He “jokes” often about earning a couple rupees from selling one of the others—usually Lost or Madness, or Nothing if he's being annoying (a normal occurrence.) Shackle’s ambition is to break free of the others and start a true pirate empire, and the way he wants to do that is by starting a slave trade. That way he can indulge his loves of intimidation and money at the same time. 

In terms of design: Shackle is pale to Wind’s tan, a bit beefy to Wind’s young lankiness. He wears red instead of blue, leaning into the pirate aesthetic with sashes and belts and leather and eyeliner. He got a chain tattoo because he thought it was cool. He fears losing everything he has, and some of what he doesn't have. 

The only thing that Shackle and Wind would agree on is that Aryll must be protected and lavished with gifts at every opportunity (even though Shackle hasn’t technically met her, yet.) He'd treat her like a princess—as long as she agreed with him about what a princess should be. He isn't a very good listener. 

Nothing

Nothing is dark Time. He appears as a petulant child: sharp and angular and half-dead. He takes all of Time’s gremlin tendencies and turns them into cruel pranks and mean-spirited insults. Time is a leader, and Nothing intentionally holds the group back if he can get away with it. Nothing is resentful: he remembers fighting Time, though he, like Agony, is different now—he can think more clearly and has a  purpose beyond just being something's  guardian. 

Nothing gets along best with Madness. He hates being given orders and actively goes the other way unless it was his idea. The group at large only barely puts up with him, but they keep him around for a good reason: he's kind of a genius. He knows dungeons, traps, and gimmicks like nobody’s business. He won't ever give advice on one of Depth’s plans if asked, but they've figured out that if they give Nothing an opening to dunk on someone and hurt one of the Heroes, he'll jump into it and put that genius to work. He's excellent at predicting what the heroes might do, which makes everything just that much more sinister. 

On occasion, Nothing will fall into fugues. During these periods, he appears as an older teenager instead of a child, and he's virtually unresponsive. He'll move if prodded. He’ll fight—and fight very well—if told to, but he won't speak, the embodiment of his name. Pretty much everyone finds the contrast rather creepy. These periods don't last long, and soon enough, Nothing is back to his bratty younger self. 

Most of all, Nothing wants everything Time has, but if given the option, he wouldn't take Time’s place. He innocently wishes he could be a hero, but he knows he can't be, so he's going to go as far the other direction as possible. He wants to build his own life. But the people around him wouldn't ever let that happen, so Nothing is bitter and lashes out, without any reason not to. 

Nothing is designed very much after the Dark Link in Ocarina of Time’s Water Temple, with a few significant tweaks. He is based on young Link instead of the older one, and he is also covered in signs of decay. There are faint red and purple lines like veins on his skin, like corpses that began to decompose underwater, and his tunic and hat show signs of the same. When he appears as a teenager, the decay is even worse. His sword is patterned after the Master Sword, but is just a normal, nonmagical thing. 

Nothing is the Hero of Nothing, a sad admittance of his own emptiness and a jab at Time’s forgotten timelines. He wouldn't even know how to seize the opportunity to be a hero of something if it showed up in front of him.

[riddles-n-games]

do you have any head cannons for avery and jameson during the holidays? (valentines, halloween, christmas, thanksgiving, etc)

Hi, sorry this took so long to come to but I just honestly didn't have a good answer for this one. First of all, if you want Averyjameson Christmas headcanons, you can check those out in my December 2023/January 2024 archive. It's all set at the True North ski lodge.

Valentine's Day:

Jameson likes to surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, each one a unique and uncommon species.

Avery likes to prepare an old meal that her mom made when they had a little more money to spare. Libby helps by making dessert.

They go to two date spots and it always depends; sometimes it's an escape room and a movie, other times it's a visit to the zoo and a fancy dinner.

But they always make sure to end with marathoning old shows in matching pjs and fuzzy socks. (And have a match to see who will fall asleep first, of course.)

July 4th:

They set up a burger making competition for everyone and you know how that goes. Competition ends in a food fight.

Avery sets up a charity fair event for the local kids hospital and Jameson takes to making sure he gives each kid a piggy back ride or push their wheelchair. (She melts because ugh, why is he good with kids? Husband material. Future hubby decided.)

She dares him to a "Who can ride the most rides by fireworks?" challenge and he wins but overdoes it a bit with some crazy stunts like flipping on the Ferris Wheel.

At the time of the fireworks, he sneaks away with her to the treehouse to watch them. The two kiss at the end.

Thanksgiving:

Avery somewhat gets down during this holiday and she gets depressed remembering the stuff she and her mom did for Thanksgiving.

Her dutiful boyfriend picks up on this and wants to cheer her up so he tries to make this more personal by having everyone pitch in for a homemade potluck.

Jameson decides he can handle a turkey but has more ambition with a turducken so he does without the advisory of Gray or Nash's supervision. Somehow, the kitchen doesn't explode and the turducken is intact.

In the midst of all this, he makes Avery a warm tea and brings a baggie with her faves. He hugs her and holds her until she falls asleep. She sleeps in his favorite sweater.

Come dinnertime, everybody is excited for the potluck and to surprise Avery. She is very happy to see everything that everyone brought and thanks everyone for coming.

Once dinner is done, having been told Jameson organized all this, he gets a little bashful and she gives him a gift.

They spend the night cuddling around the hearth and talking late before they fall asleep. A blanket is covering them the next morning.

[chaotickasugaicrows]

I (Smol) has been unbelievably busy but I wrote this little thing (a bit rough) I'd like to share. It's for the Avatar AU.

Here's the Fire Nation lore. (just in case)

First, a little note. In Mugen Train, there is a young man with Tuberculosis that is meant to crush Tanjirō’s spiritual core. However, he is shocked by the kindness shown to him by the little sun spirits, the gentleness within Tanjirō’s soul. I’ve named him Yuzuru which depending on the kanji used (if my research wasn’t wrong) can mean modesty/humility or knot/bind and string/chord. I think that fits.

Yuzuru is a soldier in the fire nation, stationed at an important camp in another nation. He’s just a guard, has some talent in using a bow but no bending to speak of. His main job is to guard tents of important high ranking people. It’s boring but it isn’t all that dangerous so his mother is happy. Honestly, he didn’t care to be on the front lines or anything, unlike one of his frequent partner guards who’s just itching to fight but too respectful to complain. Yuzuru doesn’t understand her. The pay isn’t good enough to die and then if he’s dead what good does the money do (unless there’s a family or someone to support but he knows she doesn’t have that.)

So, he stands outside tents or gets watch duty on the tower. Ugh, the tower sucks. It’s cold and dark and way too easy to hallucinate things in the silence. Still, his job isn’t really eventful. Sometimes he catches bits and pieces of the meetings in the tents. Generals and commanders and strategists discussing the state of the troops, where the front lines are, timelines, and all that. He doesn’t ask questions and keeps silent about anything he hears. One man stands out to him. They call him General Kokushibo. That's not his actual name but no one addresses him as General Tsugukuni. Yuzuru doesn't know how he got the second name but it doesn’t matter. If the Fire Lord is represented by the Sun, then his right hand general is the Moon. Just because you can’t see him doesn’t mean he isn’t already after you. The Dragon of the West is another moniker. He’s terrifying because he earned his power and reputation honestly. No one would dare say he wasn’t a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield and there was extra respect among the soldiers because he didn’t shy away from the front lines. Lately, however, he’d been taking more breaks. Traveling back to the capital more often. Not many knew why but there were rumors. Of course there were rumors. So imagine Yuzuru’s surprise when he’s put on guard duty for a tent as usual and General Kokushibu walks out followed by a twelve year old boy. That’s right. A fucking child with red hair in a ponytail not dissimilar to the General. The kid is wearing a smaller version of a standard uniform. He didn’t know they made them in that size. This is the first time Yuzuru has serious questions and doesn't know if he’ll be able to restrain himself. But it’s not over. Almost as soon as the kid passes him, another kid emerges from the tent. An 11 year old girl in the same downsized uniform and with her black hair in a ponytail. He isn’t allowed to ask questions. Yuzuru repeats that mantra in his head and does his best to keep his mouth shut and ears open. Yuzuru sees them a few more times over the next week. Neither of them seem happy to be there but they’re professional. The serious looks on their face don’t belong to kids their age. He hears all sorts of rumors (people tend to forget he’s standing there.) How the General takes them to strategy meetings where they act as silent shadows. How the girl took on a soldier in a spar and won. How the boy’s flames had a hint of blue. How they both stopped by the medicine tents to help out. People speculate how proud the General must be. To have such talented and dedicated children. He trains them and drills them. He’s harsh, they say. None of those people see the General leave his tent in the morning and sigh. None of them see the glimpses of worry in his eyes before he too banishes it in favor of the same blank mask he’s passed on to his kids. Yuzuru is just a guard. He doesn't get to ask questions. Much later, he’ll find out those two are General Kokushibo’s kids. It’s not long before they earn a similar moniker to their father, the Twin Tigers of the West. Sometimes together, sometimes not. Terrifyingly good fire benders and fighters. Still, Yuzuru will never forget the first time he saw them. In those uniforms, following their father. They didn’t pay him to ask questions, Yuzuru told himself not to ask questions. But if he could, if he could ask those kids just one question it’d have to be, “What do you like to do for fun?” And if he could ask his nation one question, his Fire Lord, it’d be “What honor is there in sending children to war?”

Anyway, as you can tell I have feelings about this AU. Yup the kids are Tanjirō and Nezuko. Kokushibu aka Michikatsu doesn't care for them at first but they grow on him, even though it takes him quite a while to realize just how much. I initially wrote this without having a specific character in mind but the guy from Mugen Train fit super well. Hope you liked it.

Here's the Fire Nation lore if you need a refresher or read this post first.

[toonlegion]

REVIEW: Suicide Squad Kill The Justice League

"Repost from a comment I made on a video"

Meh, that the long and short of it for me. It's a decent enough shooter, fun transversal and the bosses are decent (though the Batman one could've been better, I heard Twitter gushing about the role reversal of being hunted by him, but it's just an interactive cutscene near the start of the game. The proper showdown isn't as inventive, if anything I'm annoyed they had to ruin the mystique of Knight's ending). But the story I honestly could care less about.

Suicide Squad has just been a "whatever" bunch to me across all media I've seen them in and it's usually always the same plot: forced into service, a lot of bickering while doing a mission, think they see a way out of Waller's grasp, it goes fubar, complete mission, right back where they started. It doesn't help I don't like Amanda at all, she was at least decent in the JL toon, but each appearance since then has slowly turned up her bitchiness and this game REALLY extenuated that to the point I was groaning anytime she comes back into play. No offense to Deborah Wilson, loved her since the MadTV days and normally enjoy seeing her digital self in stuff like the new Call of Duty and the Jedi souls-like games. But the writing here makes me want to tear my ears out every time she's ranting and raving, even when the squad is doing their jobs as ordered. Jesus, even Nick Fury on his bad days wasn't this bad. Beyond that, I was just shrugging, some bits did make me chuckle and most had me groaning at how try-hard to be edgy or comedic, felt like a New 52 version of this setting with the tone-deafness.

They don't really do anything with the Justice League other then being mustache twirling villains via the mind control, save Diana and even she hardly does much with her scant appearances because the plot can't work if she manages to save the day. Especially wasn't fond how some of the JL get send off, yeah Batman's death felt disingenuous and I really feel sorry for Arkham-verse fans that they now have to be reminded of this game down the line when they replay those games. But at the least his had gravatas to it (and I'm not heartless, I did like the little tribute they gave to Kevin at the end). Flash? Gets peed on after he's defeated. Lantern, decent but ruined by Deadshot's one liner, and Superman, oh that ONE pissed me off because they don't even bat an eye at him before the game moves on with he plot. Superman, man of steel, one of the most popular heroes, is just a damn footnote in this game. Are you kidding me?!

After that, I honestly didn't care anymore, about Brainiac, about the multi-verses and the Brainiacs that control them essentially pulling a Kang the Conqueror situation (and no I don't care about spoilers, this game doesn't care about the fans why should I?). By the end, it essentially ends on "Hey congrats you beat it but this is just part 1 of the story, more to come. Pay us money in the live service to see the rest of it in the season passes."

Speaking of, why did they have to make this an online only game on launch? Crashed a few times setting you back a ways, glitches that turned the enemies into statues, and several soft-locks. Ugh, there's a reason off-line modes are a thing from the start. Say what you will about Resident Evil 6, I know how many fans loathe that game, but Capcom at the least had the sense to include that mode on launch. So how is it Rocksteady didn't have that same thought process? Really only good thing I can say is it does look fun with friends from most videos I've seen and I guess that's what they're aiming for to keep it afloat. I've seen some people on Twitter liking it but let's see if those same masses will stay loyal for the long haul.

Again it's decent, the game's world is huge I will give it that, but doesn't give you much to do outside same missions of break shield, defend car, destroy cannon, take out horde, defend this routines. Nor does Metropolis feel as characterized as Arkham City and Gotham in "Knight". With those, I wanted to explore and see the nooks and crannies of it. Here, it feels cluttered and a lot of buildings look the same, very little stands out to me. Maybe because the game doesn't really let you breathe with the constant alien attacks to do so. Oh but the Riddler challenges are back.... Why? "Knight" burned me out on these, so I did not care when he returned and was wondering why he was even here in the first place. They couldn't pick anyone else for this? And level up is just, eh. You grind, you get better guns and costumes, ho hum. At the least it's faster then Gotham Knights.

Overall this is just average, a step up in presentation but really lacking that quality of the previous Arkham games. You'll either dig it or your won't, it's already divisive on social media as is. So all I can say, play it yourself if your curious and make your own judgement. At the least, it's not a must-buy, if you wanna wait, be my guest, you won't be missing anything if you do and you have plenty of other games to keep you busy in the meantime (Tekken 8, Like A Dragon Infinite Wealth, and the upcoming Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth at the time of this writing).

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Like OBVIOUSLY we have Dick Grayson, the paps consider him to be the ringleader (YES the media makes that joke all the time. Tim and Kate think it's hilarious) he was raised by Bruce Wayne, did anyone think he was going to be anything but a pretty playboy?

Tim Drake, of THE Drakes, adopted by Bruce Wayne...cue rampant speculation that he's Bruce's biological son, so he's genetically predisposed to partying

Elektra Natchios, who is viewed as providing a smidgen of class and refinement to the group (she does not and resents this perception of her). She does bring a diplomatic immunity vibe to the party that the others really dislike

Kate Bishop, of the New Money Bishops. Obviously trying to elbow her way into old-money company; also, everyone knows if you only have two siblings, one of them has to be boring and respectable, and the other has to become a public hazard. She's just fulfilling her destiny.

Roy Harper, taken in by Bruce Wayne's fellow playboy in crime, Oliver Queen? Yeah he didn't stand a chance at being anything else either. Seen as the "Bad Boy" of the group

Cassandra Cain, adopted by Bruce Wayne (or his biological child???? Who knows!!!) not as party hearty as the rest, but every four months or so convinces them all to steal a boat or some shit. The dark horse. The wildcard.

Connor Kent, Lex Luthor's mysterious son (???? Everyone is confused but too afraid to ask) who has this inexplicable wholesome all-American charm that he CLEARLY didn't get from Lex, never drunk, assumed to be the one who gets them their drugs (that they are all clearly doing because that's the party lifestyle!!) (He used to be such a Good Boy, they were a Bad Influence on him)

Occasionally Danny Rand, who doesn't party so much as stroll obliviously into chaos, fell in with the club kids who felt it was their duty to acclimatise him to the modern world (or Elektra and Kate realize he's the Iron Fist and also really bad and keeping that on the DL and force him to maintain a secret identity) (Connor and Tim can't fucking stand him)

Where's Jason Todd? Great question. He's a nerd and would not go clubbing. The Red Hood, however, owns a club they frequent. (Jason is the most aware that Kate's partygirl persona is a front. Half of their chat history is about books. They've watched every version of Pride and Prejudice and Romeo + Juliet too many times for him to think she's anything but a fellow nerd)

Tim, Cass, and Dick obviously all know about each other (Dick is the one who pulled the other two into it) but everyone else is oblivious. The parties and their clubbing have INSANE reputations because half the time they're sneaking out on each other to go do superhero shit so Kate says something like "you didn't see me because I fell off the yacht and punched a dolphin," who are they to say it didn't happen?!?! Now everyone has to back it up or it seems like they weren't there! There weren't any pictures of them because...they locked themselves in a bathroom and did coke! They were doing body shots off of Dick on a fire escape--of course he doesn't remember, he was white girl wasted!

They DON'T know Jason is Red Hood. Elektra finds that out first (which is a surprise to Jason because if anyone in that group was going to be a morally gray vigilante wouldn't it be Kate?)

The Girls TM have a pact that they're not allowed to sleep with each other (Kate and Elektra make out a lot though) (Cass and Elektra start dating and Kate is like UGH BETRAYAL)

It's all fake until it's not. Roy winding up in rehab is a wake-up call for all of them that maybe they've gone a little too far (with their personas but maybe in real life too) they all start paying more attention to each other and that's when they start to go wait. Ummm. Did we sell this ruse too well? Which is how they all find out they've been working together as superheroes for like a decade.

Love the idea of a club kid!AU where all of these young adults looked at the older adults in their lives and went "being a drunk rich idiot is a great cover for being a vigilante, actually" and they proceed en masse to build reputations as prolific party animals, who, with a few exceptions, have absolutely no idea their friends are doing the exact same thing

[albatris]

hello

it is 11pm on saturday but technically it IS saturday and i think?? maybe?? you're doing STS?? so yeah. happy storyteller saturday, may i here about the rental car gang's newest additon

well. it's now 11pm on Friday! whoops! but running late is nothing new to me, this is standard, this is standard, my apologies for the delay

thank you for the ask and ABSOLUTELY you can hear about the rental car gang's newest addition!

so, there are a bunch of things about her that are still missing from my brain, but hopefully she'll chat to me more as I write about her :3

onwards!

her name is Zeke! does she have a surname? maybe! do I know what it is? nope!

she's. hm. by day she's a romance novelist under the pen name Alannah Meadows and by night she's a renowned and deadly vampire hunter. or more likely she's both simultaneously at all hours of the day and night, balanced poorly, living mostly on energy drinks and instant ramen. when does she sleep? idk. but as long as she can manage to keep up the appearance that she's totally cool and under control and absolutely not spiraling into near-constant burnout and crisis, she's fine!

romance-novel-wise, she's pretty good at what she does! vampire-hunter-wise, she's fuckin EXCELLENT at what she does! most of the time! idk quite what her methods entail but I know they're a little bit. offbeat and peculiar and make a lot of other vampire hunters go "huh??? that's stupid" until they actually see her in action. she's also broke a lot so can't afford any fancy equipment n has to get a little inventive

her great grandma on her mum's side was also a rather infamous vampire hunter. both her grandparents on her mum's side were rather infamous vampire hunters. her own parents are........

an accountant, an ornithologist, and a funeral director!

(there are three of them, and I mean this in a polyamorous way and not a complicated divorce way)

Zeke has mixed feelings about their professions, just like they have mixed feelings about her following in the footsteps of her ancestors rather than..... not.... doing that. on one hand, she likes her 'rents and wants them to be happy, and they are! on the other, she's peeved that no one taught her ruthless survival skills and how to decapitate someone when she was like four years old and that she had to self-teach most of her vampire-hunting skills. which I guess is why her strategies are a little bit unusual and not exactly the industry standard

but yeah, her parents are all sweet folks, though none of them are super keen on their daughter being involved in such a dangerous and violent profession. and her mum has some capital B Baggage about the vampire hunting line of work due to her experiences with her own parents

now, about Zeke as a person........

hm, well, she's all about calmness and focus and intuition and balance..... she's all about meditation and higher forces and listening to the voice of the universe...... I think she fancies herself a bit of a psychic, actually, or at the very least she's someone who sees herself as having a Unique And Special Connection (read: more powerful than other, NORMAL people's connections) to the world around her. whether or not this is true or just in her head is up for debate :P but yes, she's constantly going on about how important it is to be in control of your emotions and to find balance within yourself and focus your mind....... calm your soul and centre yourself and feel the pull of the universe..... it's all very funny because she has MAJOR fucking anger management issues and explodes on a regular basis. and she's never been patient or calm in her life for more than, like, ten minutes

like she tries SO hard to be the cool calm collected wise sagelike type. but GOD everything is just so irritating how can she be expected to

peace and love and harmony on planet earth <3 but also Zeke is going to fucking deck you if you piss her off

anyway, she has rather big shoes to fill given the reputations of her grandparents and great grandma, and though she's doing a pretty good job of filling said shoes already, she really wants to make a bang in the vampire-hunting profession and achieve some cool shit no one's seen before. she tries many different avenues for this, but hops from one to the next rapidly because she quickly gets bored with stuff and loses interest. recently she's been engaged in a lot of intense research into the well-known vampire urban legend of the Garble, 'cause what could cause more of a Bang than taking down fucking vampire god? this earns her. a lot of laughter from her rivals and colleagues. because the Garble objectively does not exist, it's just a dumb spooky story, obviously

but yes, this is what eventually leads her to Darwelaide and what kicks off her investigations into the city's vampire population, and subsequently her becoming entangled with Quinn :P

she is, in fact, responsible for the two super early-book attempts on Quinn's life, one of which results in the death of expendable bit character Leo (RIP)

Quinn is! irritated! by her presence, because as soon as word gets around that Fucking Vampire Hunter Zeke is in the city, a fair few of their vampire customers and lackeys are suddenly like "oh, I forgot I have to go very very far away from Darwelaide right now immediately for an indeterminate amount of time" which puts a bit of a strain on Quinn's resources

Zeke not only believes Quinn is a vampire (fair) but also that they're basically THE vampire of Darwelaide, and most other vamps are either Quinn's allies or fucking terrified of them and staying as far out of their way as possible (also fair)

but yes, Zeke begins as a rather formidable antagonist but eventually becomes a begrudging ally to the team since their goal ALSO happens to be "murder the Garble". though she's not too pleased when this goal shifts focus slightly, they talk her 'round after a while because the end result will still be the same, it'll just take a little longer to get there. but that's spoilers! hahahaha

eventually, much to her disgust she becomes a beloved member of the gang. tragically they are her friends. regrettably she cares about them

she and Nat have a dicey relationship at first, she and Quinn have a dicier relationship, she and Yvonne are............ fine, ish, but that's a whole other kettle of fish. she thoroughly believes Alex is human to begin with because...... yeah, in the same way people look at Quinn and are like "that's a fucking evil dramatic rich gay vampire if I've ever seen one", people look at Alex and they're like "that's the epitome of Just Some Guy"

Alex fucking exudes Regular Human Energy tbh

it is important to my heart that Zeke and Alex do end up proper best friends. like. even after she finds out it's a vampire. after the Adjustment Period. like this is a reeaaaaally slowburn friendship but the payoff's gonna be. mwah. chefs kiss

man I just think they'd get along fantastically and have some interesting perspectives to share with each other, y'know?

but yeah, Zeke starts off SUPER scary and looming and threatening, this kind of.... mysterious force to take very seriously. but the tone shifts to shenanigans later. there's a lot of, like, ridiculous melodramatic homoerotic nonsense with Quinn, lots of back-and-forth hero-villain-esque banter, lots of very casual murder attempts from both parties

also "Zeke has homoerotic tension with Quinn" means nothing, Quinn has homoerotic tension with basically everyone

once she's part of the gang but still super fuckin grumpy about it, it's sort of just like....... y'know, are these legitimate murder attempts, is it all in good fun, is it just to keep the gang on their toes? no one is entirely certain. but that's just Zeke for you. she's their murder friend and they love and appreciate her <3

she finds out eventually that Quinn is actually just a regular human person and she's fuckin PISSED

also I think it's really funny given the ending of the book that Zeke gets to be like. fuck yeah. everyone look at me. I helped take down motherfucking vampire god. who's the best vampire hunter now. idiots. I'm better than all of you. gaze upon my work and weep

but what she's essentially done is just, like, doom vampire-hunting as a business and put everyone out of work so everyone is lowkey SUPER mad at her lmao

she doesn't care because she fuckin Won

anyway, this is what I know about Zeke so far!! thanks for tuning in!!

[writingismysolace-fanfiction]

Arranged. Chapter One.

Setting: In a convent garden, your digging up rocks to help the soil. You're a year or so away from having to make a decision to leave the convent when you become of age or stay and become a nun.

Eleanor: Garden duty...again. Do they actually think I like doing this?

You:  Well would you rather be cleaning all the chamber pots instead?

Eleanor: Ugh. I can't wait to get out of here. I'm going to find me a rich man, marry him and never get my hands dirty again.

You laugh and then look up towards the balcony to see sister Agnes standing there looking down at you. Eleanor follows suit before you both turn back and continue what you're doing.

Eleanor: I hate that women....she has it in for you, you know?

You: Eleanor?

Eleanor: She does, several of the nuns do.

You: That's ridiculous.

Eleanor: I'm serious. You've never noticed how some of the sisters seem to always be in the same place you are, always looking in your direction.

You: I'm sure they do it to everybody, we've just never noticed because we're so involved in our own matters. They're only trying to keep us out of trouble Eleanor.

Eleanor: They're only trying to keep You out of trouble. They don't follow anyone else.

You briefly think about it.

You: Oh this is nonsense.

You turn away from her and continue your task. Although part of you wonders if Eleanor is telling the truth.

Eleanor: You should come with us, you know.

You: You know I can't do that.

Eleanor: Sure you can.

You: And what could I possibly do when I leave.

Eleanor: Well you could get a Job....you could be a seamstress.

You: I hate sewing.

Eleanor: What about being a tutor? You've always been successful in your studies.

You: And get paid less than half what a man would make, no thank you.

Eleanor: You should do something besides stay here and watch your life go by.

You: I'm not like you and the other girls Eleanor, I have no money, no family, no where to go. I have to stay here.

Eleanor: All I'm saying is there's more to life....if you want there to be.

You: Thank You.

Setting: Later that evening. It's your turn to help cook the night time meal. After making everyone a plate and serving yourself you sit down.

Eleanor: It smells wonderful.

You: Thank You.

As you get ready to pray and eat with everyone else, you notice one of the nuns staring you down.

Eleanor: Ignore the old bat.

Her face quickly becomes as white as a ghost, foam starts to appear from the side of her mouth, she starts coughing while her nose and ears start bleeding. You watch unable to look away from what is happening in front of you. And then....She falls face forward into her plate, dead. Screams and shock erupt from the dining room. You suddenly feel someone pulling on your arm, Sister Agnes.

Sister Agnes: Come, quickly.

You: Where are you taking me?

Sister Agnes: Hush child.

Sister Agnes stops pulling you for a second, listening carefully to sounds coming from outside. Horses quickly galloping towards the convent, their riders out for blood. 

Sister Agnes: Forgive me child for I've allowed your whole life to be a lie.

You: What do you mean?

Sister Agnes: You're name isn't Y/F/N Y/L/N, it's Y/N Tudor. I'm sorry child the other sisters and I were only doing what we were told to by your father.

You: My father?

Sister Agnes: King Henry VIII.

Silent pause*

Sister Agnes: You are the youngest daughter of King Henry VIII and his wife Catherine Parr. We've been able to protect you from being found and possibly killed, but now we can no longer protect you. You must leave child.

She opens the door leading to the garden, there's a gate on the other side.

Sister Agnes: Run and never look back.

You stall for a moment.

Sister Agnes: Run child, never look back.

You do as your told and start running, you don't know where you're going, but it doesn't matter, surviving is what's important. As your running you hear screams, the smell of fire burning, horses, and the voices of men yelling. You almost stop and turn back, until you remember Sister Agnes telling you not to. When you can no longer run, you find a tree to hide behind. Suddenly you hear horses and men coming up the road, a few of them stop in front of you.

Guard: Are you alright? What's your name?

Your too shocked to answer.

You: I...I

Guard: Are you hurt?

You: No

Guard: I'll ask you again, what's your name?

You almost tell him your old name but you stop yourself.

You: Tudor. Y/N Tudor.

The guard looks to one of the other men. The man nods his head. Before you can say anything two men grab your arms, you fight back, but they're too strong. They put you on a horse and you ride off into the night.

[incaensio]

katniss doesn't take a note on the lie, only that the likelihood that delly cartwright — or any of peeta's friends, even the ones that are borderline bullies and like to act tougher and better than others — had been to the hob is close to null. "it's mostly crisps now," it aches, a dull ache. she had made most of her money in the illegal market, the money that sustained her and put food in her family's belly for six years (longer, when it had been her daddy the one to do it); she's glad no one has gotten badly hurt when the hob burned down, but she feels her mother's life-long fear whenever she hears about how her people are building the hob underground again, doing trades when the new peacekeepers are off duty, risking their lives because that's the only way they can survive (hadn't it been that way for her too? she gets it). "i know ripper's place, though. she still has plenty of that clear drink." no one makes better moonshine in twelve than ripper, or at least it's what haymitch says when katniss drops by the bottles she's stocked for him at home. “not that your ma — or peeta — would approve. he’d come naggin’ i’m draggin’ you down, too.” she’s teasing, now, though she is unsure if peeta would be peeved she’s taking his best friend in places a proper merchant kid shouldn't go (he’s beyond saving now, being so deeply tangled with her, but the people from his old life still has some saving, katniss reckons, from the little she knows of them).

any playfulness in that dry humor of her seems gone now, as delly assumes the silliest thing ever. "why would i come? they're not my friends." she recalls the person she's talking about from school, but none of them have given her as much of a glance during their time then. peeta never said being legally married entailed hanging out with his friends — he barely does that himself these days. "you wanna get married? don't you have a business to run?" that seemed incompatible with child rearing, but maybe she's just projecting. anyone with the opportunity to not marry should enjoy that, especially when they're not beholden to some iron-clad necessity. it just hits katniss a bit too late that she is married, not with someone despicable, but with delly's best friend. "peeta is a wonderful husband, as you know, but we're just twenty two. that's… early." not truly. once you're out of the reaping bowl, most people at the seam shackled up, burned their toasting bread, got their certificates from city hall and their new house and carried on with the perpetual game of providing more cannon fodder for the capitol. a role which peeta had claimed they were going to partake on, gladly. ugh. why is he so good at lying?

"i eat everythin'." she gives the other a curt nod. the capitol was so exuberant and generous with material things katniss could not but to be ravenous, even if she was mindful to try and not waste food like so many here do. but everyday here brought new discoveries in the culinary realm, and the only good moments she can recall vividly in these parties are the ones she spends taking bites out of everything. "the bread is good, but too fillin'. i usually go for the stews, but also for the meats, and, well everythin'. the important thing is to just taste, so you can keep eating and still have some room by the time you get to the desserts." with peeta as a best friend, delly must have a sweet tooth — katniss' teeth would have all fallen out if she had had the opportunity to be peeta's friend when they were kids. katniss' nose wrinkles at delly's statement, distaste seemingly long-lasting now (not at delly, though, more at the role she's forced, this importancy she does not want nor care for). "just eat the honey baked ham.” a finger is pointed towards the food in question. “i've heard they smoke it for over a day before addin' the final layer of honey, and it tastes like all that work."

"True, talking to people is what any good host does. I'm sure he'll get around to having a chat with me at some point," Delly agreed with a shrug. It was strange to think that Caesar was doing what she and her friends did back home, just...on a much bigger scale. Maybe things weren't so different between Twelve and the Capitol. Listening to Katniss talk about the Hob, a place that Delly had never been, and had been forbidden from visiting, she wished that she was more like Katniss. "I think I've seen him around town before, I didn't know that was a wig," she lied. "Maybe when we go home you can show me around the Hob," she suggested. Peeta would like that, making plans for the future. "Peacockin? I like the sound of that, that's exactly what they're doing," she smiled.

Katniss changed so suddenly that it gave Delly whiplash. What had she said that had Katniss so upset with her? She wracked her mind over what it was, but she couldn't come up with anything. Things had been fine between them just moments ago and now she was...shutting down. Delly didn't know Katniss enough to be able to figure out what she did. Maybe she was mad at Gale for not throwing her a bachelorette party? "Oh, that's okay! They're not for everyone. I don't know if I really want one when I get married, you know? Whenever that happens. Our friend Bryx, though, she's going to have a huge one I'm sure, you'll have to come!" That was a lie, Delly was going to have a big bachelorette but she wanted Katniss to think she was relatable.

"Oh, I don't even know, there are so many options," she mused. She had never seen so much food before, even as someone that lived on the wealthier side of town. Her mother was a great cook, but she was nowhere near as good as what she had tried here. "I always thought that my mom was a great cook but I think that whoever is doing the cooking here has her beat. I had this roll for breakfast this morning with this jam, I don't even know what kind it was, but it was so good. What do you like to eat here?" It almost felt like maybe they could go back on stable ground if Delly could get her talking about food. Who didn't love food? It had to be a unifier between them. "Well, you are more important, Katniss."