#like NO I am not interested in BWC you fucking weirdo

[reductosshrinkgun]

I'm bored aka so here's a list of dating apps I use and my mini reviews:

Feeld - originally the most promising because it's more for polyam people; also the most fun at first. Has since devolved into lots of couples/swingers looking for thirds. Overall as someone who is interested in finding a primary, it hasn't been helpful. 7/10

OKCupid - has excellent identity options but has been paywalling too many features. And not to be mean but everyone I see say they like it best is typically white and a level of nerd that I'm not at. 5/10

Her - so I originally avoided this one because of the name, but this is where a lot of Black trans mascs are in my area which was exciting. The site and interface is cute and I love the banners you can use. But no one reads profiles; and there are too many "no poly" and "no mascs/femmes" comments for me to feel like I belong there. 5/10

Jack'd/Scruff - these are essentially the same cruising app. Like seriously they are exactly the same but color coded lmao. In DC Jack'd (red) has mainly Black queer men and Scruff (blue) has mainly white. I love the tagging system but can't find people in my area using said tags. I bumped it up a point because they're both less overwhelming than Grindr. 4/10

Grindr - has the most trans/non-binary people but finding each other also means opening yourself up to chasers. There's a wild mix on here but I get both the most messages and the most unwanted dick pics. Feels the most chaotic (though apparently Sniffies is worse lmao) but also has a great tagging system. The app also paywalls *a lot* and there are *constant* long ads. I would rate it so much higher without the ads. 3/10

Anywho they all ultimately suck and I hate them but still lurk on them 🤸🏾‍♂️. I'm a sex neutral ace/demi who's kinky af and I have limited time/energy. I look for people who are interested in intentional communication and kink education. I have not found a good app for my needs, at all, and figure I never will lol.

Like, if I was into NSA or FWBs I would be *eating* right now. But since I'm not (and I'm COVID cautious) it's hard as fuck to find good matches. It's all pretty stressful and demoralizing, so I don't take these apps seriously anymore. And they're all fucking paywalled and make us commodity ourselves in ways I'm not comfortable with.

(There are also multiple guides for trans masculine ppl and cruising apps like Jack'd/Scruff/Grindr. They have a lot of possibilities, they just don't work for me right now.)