#like Liam Neeson did in Kenobi

[perfectharmonyloveschaos]

Something I feel like no one ever brings up but I feel like could be very important for Ezra’s character going forward is the fact that he is Mace Windu's great-grand-padawan. Mace Windu; the creator of Vaapad.

Because this never comes up in Rebels. We learn that, yes, Kanan’s master was Depa Billaba who was the former padawan of Mace Windu. But they never actually use it for anything. Why would Filoni make Kanan the grand-padawan of Mace Windu, and as a result make Ezra Windu's great-grand-padawan if not to use it for something. They could've made him any old Jedi's padawan, but Filoni choose Depa to be Kanan’s master.

What if this comes into play with Ezra’s character going forward and leads to him learning Vaapad? We don't know the state of the force and how it functions where Ezra has been trapped for the last decade, so what if they left Ezra in a place strong enough in the force that he could communicate to Depa Billaba and Mace Windu through the force?

Having Ezra go through so much with the dark side and learning to control it, while at the same time making him the heir to Mace Windu's lineage and the perfect candidate to carry on Vaapad which Windu himself choose who was taught it, is too much of a coincidence for nothing to be done with it. They've already tied Ezra to the World Between Worlds, why not give him some other way to interact with his grand-master and great-grand-master?

I would kill to see Ezra actively fight against Baylan and Shin using Vaapad and channelling their anger and power against them. Carrying on the legacy that Kanan never got to and carrying on Windu's knowledge, adapting the lessons from Windu, Depa, and Kanan and using them/potentially teaching them if he ever gets his own padawan.

[leemarkies]

my favorite star wars episodes in tv media

↳ the clone wars: the mortis arc (s3 ep. 15-17)

“Your destiny can change as quickly as the love in one's heart can fade. Nothing is set in stone.”

[tessiete]

I will do anything for @giggles-and-freckles, one of the smartest, most talented, most compassionate writers in the fandom! Plus, I've also been on a...I don't know...working sabbatical in fandom? I don't know. Let's do this!

What book are you currently reading?

I've just picked up This Is How You Lose the Time War because Bigolas Dickolas told me to. I've been looking for sapphic (YA specifically, but also in general) as a close family member came out to me last year, and I want to send them art they can see themselves in. So if you've got any recs, throw them my way! I'm also reading Mirror of My Heart: A Thousand Years of Persian Poetry by Women. It's incredible, and still rings so true and relevant today!

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

Well, lol, I saw RotK in theatres this year and obviously loved it. We're at 23 theatrical viewings now, which is excellent news for Peter Jackson's bank account.

What do you usually wear?

I either dress like a teenage boy or like a romantic heroine. Depends what time I get up in the morning.

How tall are you?

5′8" and a bit. The bit is important. I wanted to be 5'10" but...alas.

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Gemini, baby! Same as Liam Neeson.

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

I usually go by Tess.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

By hook or by crook. I've wanted to be in my profession since I was a kid. Am I successful in it? I'm not...I'm not as low down as I could be. But I'm also not progressing, so...lol. I'm deluded? Idk.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

Acespec here. Not that I don't have crushes but like, very rarely, and I am not in a relationship.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I think I'm good at singing and soccer, and bad at sword and ballet.

Dogs or cats?

I love both my children equally.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Man, I have basically written nothing of worth this year except a couple zine contributions that I'm really proud of! But I will say my dad sent me a beautiful line of prose the other day that really struck me!

The heaviness of death plummets through the Force like an ancient leadline in freefall through the endless fathoms of the sea.

I was very complimentary of it, assuming he'd written it and was sharing it with me.

No.

I wrote it. He was trying to compliment me. WELP!

What’s something you’d like to create content for?

I wish I were a more visceral smut writer.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

We're a little bit still in our LOTR hyperfixation but I think...overall...we're in a lull. Shhh! Don't wake it up!

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

I was really hoping to build my career more this year, but well, there's a strike. So.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I am...really...good at..........Oh! I can make a loon sound with my hands!

Are you religious?

Absolutely not. Nothing against people who are religious -- lots of my friends here find their faith really important and I'm really happy they have such a such foundation for themselves! But yeah, it's not for me!

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

MACARONS!

Tags for fun not for fretting over @treescape @darkisrising @the-last-kenobi @pomiardve @new-anon @mg024 @duchess-of-mandalore

Tag Game To Better Know You

I have been tagged in so many things by so many of you lovely people in the midst of my sorta-hiatus and I would break the internet if I tried to catch up...but I like this one because it feels like a good little re-intro into the Tumblr world. :-)

What book are you currently reading?

The Writing Revolution...I can't in good conscience recommend it unless you also happen to find yourself as a teacher trying to capture teenagers' imaginations and get them to produce complete sentences! Hahahaha. Miserable toil.

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

Ooh, this one's easy--The Little Mermaid!! I have seen it with my family twice and then with my friends once. (I felt a little freer to lust after Prince Eric when my husband and two children weren't sitting there with me...)

What do you usually wear?

These days, some form of athleisure. During the school year, I've been told my teacher style is "Jessica Day if she didn't care so much" and...that about sums it up.

How tall are you?

5′5″ AND A HALF (alternatively: taller than @stolen-pen-name23 which is all that truly matters in this world)

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Cancer...I think? Malala Yousafzai and Henry David Thoreau!

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Most folks IRL call me Abigail. It's just my brothers, husband, and you guys who call me Abi!

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Absolutely not. I wanted to be a lawyer my entire life. My undergrad was pre-law and then life had other plans for me and now I'm teaching 8th grade American History. And LOVING IT. I start grad school in the fall and I'll be getting my Principal's Certification with that, so I suppose I'm in this education world for the long haul.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

I am tragically married. Sorry to all interested parties!

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I'm fairly good with piano and singing. I'm terrible at cooking.

Dogs or cats?

Dogs forever and ever!

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Oh my. I haven't written as much as I'd like to this year (although I'm hoping to post something before the weekend!!) so I'm choosing to interpret this as the last 12 months. Maybe this bit from walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity?

He holds out his hand, wondering if she’ll bare touching him. “Goodbye, Leia.”

She is not a girl of gentleness—this, he can tell. But she accepts the hand like she’s afraid to shatter it. “Goodbye.”

“Saying my name won’t hurt you, you know,” he says, refusing to be the first to let go.

“Remind me?”

He rolls his eyes. “Anakin Skywalker.”

“Skywalker, you said?” she echoes, and lets their hands fall between them. She opens the door and smiles teasingly at him, tilting her head. “Interesting. That was my father’s name.”

What’s something you’d like to create content for?

I think I'm forever stuck in my prequels hell!

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Ur mom. Okay...sorry. Ahem. I've been sewing more lately. I used ot dabble in high school, but I'm finding more motivation to make things for my toddler than I did to make things for myself.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

The weather recently! It was supposed to rain the past couple weeks and we've not gotten much more than a few minutes of sprinkling. I looooove rainy days, so that's bummed me out quite a bit.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I'm excellent at whistling. It's completely useless, but I'll get compared to a Disney princess occasionally, so I guess that's something.

Are you religious?

Yes. My faith is very important to me, but it's *my* faith, so I don't feel the need to bring it up with strangers unless asked about it. (Crazy concept, right?)

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A cuppa tea...so I think I'll go put the kettle on byeeeee

No pressure tags: @pandora15 @stolen-pen-name23 @tessiete @ilonga @kckenobi & anyone who wants to join in the fun!

[hunters-heathen]

how did you feel about the obi wan kenobi finale!!!! id love to hear ur thoughts

Let me tell you, it’s been several days (I think? Time isn’t real) and I still can’t even begin to compose my thoughts into something articulate

So instead I leave you with how I felt the entire time while watching:

Okay I lied here’s a chaotic list

Vader Vader Vader Vader Vader supremacy 🧎🏻‍♀️

I lost my marbles when Ben did his ~pose~

ThEn YoU WiLl dIe (plz just tear my heart out miss Chow)

^ he threw his whole Vadussy into that fight fr

^ he threw his whole Vadussy into that fight fr

Can we talk about how despite knowing they both live I was literally so tense the entire duel

BERU SUPREMACY she pulled out those guns and Owen said 😳 lmfaooo as you should king, she’s the top fr

^ I have a weird thing for the slight roughness/gravel in Owen’s voice though bye-

Also no freaking high ground comment??? Bye pt. 2

Vader literally getting pummeled with rocks I-

Vader wheezing

The way Anakin shown through and his face was lit with blue but then Vader came back & it was red

^ adding onto that I saw someone say how Ben had to watch his eyes turn Sith all over again and now I’m crying

^ adding onto that x2: saw comparisons about how Ahsoka opened the right, Ben opened the left, but only Luke could lift the helmet off completely and I have not stopped thinking about that since

I am not your failure, Obi-Wan

^ that’s it that’s the tweet

Then my friend is truly dead 🥲🥲🥲

Leia and Ben reunion 🥲 also I’m tired of him calling himself old / other ppl calling him that lmao (smash)

^ btw I LOVE Alderaan I wanna live there okay

I just think… I miss Padmé Amidala so much (Ben compared Leia to her parents and a homie was ~sobbing~)

Lowkey I wanted a Padmé grave visit by Vader but okay-

Also wish there were more clone wars flashbacks maybe? But I’m not one to complain, the duel flashback was far beyond what I expected ✨ plus perhaps we will get clone wars flashbacks in Ahsoka (this is really Hayden’s year, go king)

I lowkey wish Reva did have a villain arc of some sort but I’m glad they didn’t just kill her off. Mayhaps a spin-off is in order

^ on that note I’d also love to have a Vader spinoff. Or two. Or five thousand. There’s so much to do with him

Qui-Gon FREAKING JINN 🗣 love him but also all I could think about was the bts pics of Liam Neeson dressed as Qui-Gon under that umbrella lmao bye

Oh- THE BOYS HOLDING HANDS WHILE DUELING- 🗣🤌🏼

I like how Ben’s outfit at the end was like one of the ones from the comics

HELLO THERE

There’s been a lot of talk about Ben & Anakin being dyads bc of what was presented in the show and lowkey I’d be here for it

^ I think it’s an amazing and fascinating concept that wasn’t super properly touched on in the sequels so it’d be neat to see it again somewhere else as well

Ummm all I have to say in conclusion is that this show tore my heart out SO much and I literally cannot believe it’s already over. Hayden was incredible, Ewan was incredible, Vivian and Moses were incredible, ugh- I’m in love. Some shows I watch and then I’m like ‘okay I don’t think I need to revisit this’ but I’ve already watched the finale like 5 times (literally even just as background while I’m reading or something) so I’ll definitely be revisiting it

Some things could’ve been executed better, mostly the pacing and also some of the action scenes (let’s be real the Leia chase was ridiculous fkfkfk) but overall it’s been a wonderful ride and I really really am hoping for a season two or something of the sort. I’m simply not ready to let Ben go yet ✨

^^^^^ I know I have so much more to say but literally my head is so chaotic rn so this is all you’re getting 💀

[rogue-saber-wielder]

The Guardian

A digital piece I did of Obi Wan Kenobi in his episode one attire (I love his blue toga, it stands out against the dune sea very well) to celebrate the season finale and fair play to Liam Neeson for his cameo of Qui Gon!

I referenced the Vanity fair image of Ewan McGregor and the final battle scene between Anakin and Obi Wan on Mustafar.

Obi Wan has such a tragic story, which makes him such a strong and admirable character the way he keeps his composure in the most dire of situations. Something we all should learn from him.

Hope you like this piece

[kylo-renakin]

Death in Star Wars, and How Ben Solo Was Shafted: A Mini Meta

Something has been bothering me about Ben’s death in The Rise of Skywalker. While I’m upset that he died, I echo the sentiments of other fans that just as offensive was the way that he died and how his death was treated in the context of the film. It bothered me because death has always been a part of Star Wars, but usually handled much better.

And so this meta was born.

I will be doing a brief analysis of significant character deaths from the Star Wars movies. I don’t want to touch on all of them because there are simply too many, so I’ll focus on the ones that were either major characters (i.e. trio billing or main villain) or narratively important (i.e. Shmi Skywalker).

This list will be approached chronologically within the Star Wars universe, beginning with:

Qui-Gon Jinn; portrayed by Liam Neeson

Personal feelings: I cried like a baby. Qui-gon holds a special place in my heart. His death was both epic and sombre. It hurt to watch other main cast celebrating their victory after defeating their respective challenges and then cut to Obi-wan cradling his master’s head in his lap, crying.

Mode of death: Killed by Darth Maul at the end of The Phantom Menace. His actual death takes a few minutes of screen time, an outburst/scream from another main character (Obi-wan). He has last words to say to the person he has the closest on screen relationship with.

Aftermath: Held by a visibly devastated Obi-wan while he died. Sombre funeral pyre. Death discussed on screen by the council and Obi-wan.

Narrative purpose: To enable Anakin’s training under Obi-wan, which is pivotal to the overall arc of this trilogy. To provide a tangible loss and character growth for Obi-wan, who failed to save his master from a Sith--later mirrored by Obi-wan’s inability to save Anakin from becoming a Sith in Episode III, thereby providing a narrative ‘tail-end’ to Obi-wan’s journey in the trilogy. To cement the master/apprentice relationship as loving, emotional, familial, which then adds narrative depth to the bond between Obi-wan and Anakin. To introduce a cohesive theme of death, failure, and loss at the hands of the dark side that would pervade this trilogy.

Overall response: This death is both emotional and narratively important. It’s given the weight and time it deserves to have an impact on the characters. 

Shmi Skywalker; portrayed by Pernilla August

Personal feelings: Rough acting aside, watching a person die in their family member’s arms is always sad. It’s an extremely dark moment in a film that otherwise leans heavily into romance, action, and detective-mystery storytelling.

Mode of death: Tortured by Tusken Raiders. Died from her injuries. Again, her actual death takes a couple of minutes of screen time. She is able to say some last words to her son, the most important character relationship for this character.

Aftermath: Dies in the arms of her visibly devastated son. Anakin murders the Tuskens for revenge. On screen funeral where she is mourned and memorialized by her family/loved ones.

Narrative purpose: To drive Anakin further to the dark side by taking advantage of his love and compassion and turning this into anger and hate (revenge against the Tuskens). To plant the seeds of Anakin’s inability to save the ones he love. To emphasize his failure to keep his promise to return to his mother and free her. (Despite being freed off screen, she essentially died in captivity anyway, and Anakin was not the one to free her.) To further the cohesive themes of the trilogy: death, failure, loss, the power of the dark side.

Overall response: While not as moving for me personally as Qui-gon’s death, it has a very relevant thematic purpose and furthers the story. Shmi’s death is given adequate time on screen and we are able to observe the responses and aftermath of that loss.

Padme Amidala; portrayed by Natalie Portman

Personal feelings: We make jokes about how she lost the will to live, but her funeral was beautiful and Natalie’s delivery of the line “you’re going down a path I can’t follow” feels extremely important in this story.

Mode of death: Up for debate. She has lost the will to live after giving birth to Luke and Leia in the wake of Anakin’s fall to the dark side. Some have theorized that her life force was taken (or given?) to keep Anakin alive, but this is not made explicit in the movies. She dies beside Obi-wan Kenobi, and has the time to say last words--words of hope for Anakin’s eventual redemption. Her death itself takes several minutes and is followed up with screen time for a funeral where characters acknowledge her death.

Aftermath: The gorgeous and enormous funeral, mourned as a queen and a senator and a good woman. Anakin (as Darth Vader) mourns with a devastated and poorly acted “nooooo”.

Narrative purpose: To fulfill the themes of death, loss, and failure (Anakin’s failure to keep her alive) at the hands of the dark side. To provide a character loss that mimics the loss of democracy, freedom, and goodness that has fallen to Palpatine’s control. To provide a visual and narrative parallel between the death of Anakin (through the death of his love) and the birth of Darth Vader.

Overall response: While this death was definitely poorly handled it did have narrative significance and it was arguably necessitated by having to have this trilogy line up with the original trilogy. Her short funeral was one of my favorites in the series.

Obi-wan Kenobi; portrayed by Sir Alec Guinness/Ewan McGregor

Personal feelings: I feel weird having an opinion about this one because this movie was made well before I was born, and so I didn’t feel a real connection to/nostalgia from these characters the way I did with the prequels and sequels. Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan was a huge part of my childhood, so watching A New Hope in retrospect makes this death sad for me.

Mode of death: Killed by Darth Vader/becomes one with the Force. Essentially sacrifices himself so that Luke doesn’t try to come after him.

Aftermath: Luke shouts “no!”. In a later scene, Luke further acknowledges his death--”I only wish Ben were here”. Ben is later seen as a Force ghost in Episodes V and VI, continuing to acknowledge his character’s death and ongoing influence on, importance to, and relationship with Luke.

Narrative purpose: To provide growth for Luke’s character as he grapples with losing a mentor and surrogate father figure who was also the last person (he believed) who was a link to Luke’s (supposedly) dead hero father that Luke looked up to--and setting us up for this narrative complication in VI. To demonstrate that the Jedi/good guys of the film win through self-sacrifice and not through anger, hate, or fear, which is very thematically resonant in this trilogy.

Overall response: Narratively meaningful, and the character’s death is immediately recognized. We get to see the response of the characters who he has the closest relationships with.

Yoda; portrayed by Frank Oz

(I just love The Last Jedi, okay??)

Personal feelings: It was kind of sad, in the way any person dying of old age is. It did feel more overtly spiritual than Obi-wan’s death.

Mode of death: Dies of old age, in his own home, in his own bed, with Luke beside him. His death scene lasts a few minutes and he has some last words.

Aftermath: We see Yoda again as a force ghost, which we are expecting as an audience since his body fades like Obi-wan’s did. There is sufficient closure. Luke is present for Yoda’s death and, at this point in the films, is the only character relationship Yoda has left alive--therefore this is the most significant his death can be to someone. Luke doesn’t look overly upset but this is not painted to be a sad death, as death by old age is usually more a fact of life and a nice reprieve from untimely losses.

Narrative purpose: Honestly, it’s been a long time since I watched the original trilogy so I’m kind of stretching here. I’m going to borrow from The Last Jedi and say that Yoda’s death allows Luke to grow beyond his master and stand on his own two feet as a fully autonomous agent of goodness. He no longer has the crutch of wise older men to lean on and must make his decisions on his own. Yoda’s death frees Luke to be the master of his own destiny, now knowing the truth of his parentage and no longer being guided by others to do what they think is best (kill Vader).

Overall response: One of the less impactful deaths in the series, but I do appreciate how it adds to Luke’s growth as a character and transition into Jedi Master.

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader; portrayed by James Earl Jones, Hayden Christensen, and Jake Lloyd

Personal feelings: This is the big one™ of the trilogy, and it shows. Watching Luke trying to literally drag his father to safety is raw and heartbreaking. Seeing him unmasked for his son is chilling. The funeral pyre is beautiful. This definitely made me feel the feelings.

Mode of death: Sacrificed himself to kill Palpatine. Death lasts several minutes. Dies in Luke’s arms and Luke cries as he dies.

Aftermath: Funeral pyre. Force ghost Anakin bringing peace to Luke and cementing his redemption.

Narrative purpose: Too much to list! Reinforcing that good guys sacrifice themselves to protect the people they love. Bringing balance to the Force by killing the Emperor (thanks JJ for messing that up by the way). Finding peace with Obi-wan as a force ghost. Showing that the belief that people can be saved from themselves is validated. I’m sure there’s plenty more besides but this one is so narratively rich that it would take forever to mine.

Overall response: Extreme narrative importance. Basically ties together six movies. Emotional, beautiful, resonant.

Han Solo; portrayed by Harrison Ford

Personal feelings: Ouch, ouch, ouch! This was... this was angsty. I love angsty. I cannot possibly find adequate words to describe how well done this scene and this death was. One of my top three moments of The Force Awakens.

Mode of death: Struck through the chest with a lightsaber by his son, Ben Solo (under the alias of Kylo Ren), after an attempt to save him from the dark side and bring him home. His body falls into the pit on Starkiller Base.

Aftermath: So. Much. Rey screams “no!” Finn is visibly upset, too. Chewie roars in agony and shoots Kylo Ren with his bowcaster. Leia can be seen feeling Han’s death and cannot find the strength to keep standing. Kylo/Ben looks immediately shaken by what he has done. Rey and Leia share a sad hug at the end of the film. In The Last Jedi, reactions continue. Luke is shaken by the revelation of Han’s death and spends a quiet moment in the Falcon mourning him. Kylo/Ben’s reaction continues to spiral. Snoke, in one of my favorite lines in the film, announces that “the deed split [his] spirit to the bone”. Rey grieves Han and accuses Ben of hating him. Luke warns Kylo that he will always be with him, “just like [his] father”. Han’s shadow is felt all over The Last Jedi without him being present. Even without the further reactions in The Rise of Skywalker (Rey saying Ben is haunted by him, the literal memory scene on the Death Star), the impacts of Han Solo’s death are the most significant in the entire franchise.

Narrative purpose: To advance both internal and external character conflicts. Kylo killing Han provides an external conflict between him and the heroes--particularly between him and Rey as Rey yearns for parents who love her and Ben (seemingly) rejects/kills his that do. It also provides a meaty internal conflict for Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, who is the most nuanced villain I have ever seen in film. While Han’s death doesn’t seem to serve a main theme in The Force Awakens (it is my perspective that JJ does not have cohesive overarching themes in his two entries in the saga), it does blend in pretty well with The Last Jedi’s preoccupation with killing the past. The thematic takeaway from The Last Jedi is that you can’t and shouldn’t kill the past, you should learn from it and move on--and Kylo killing Han neatly fits into this theme by showing that Kylo tried to kill his past by killing his father, and yet he was unable to move on because of it.

Overall response: Poignant. Purposeful. Well-crafted. The effects are long lasting and felt throughout the trilogy. This is not a meaningless death. Of the entire saga, this is the death that is given the most acknowledgement.

Supreme Leader Snoke; portrayed by Andy Serkis

Personal feelings: I was on the edge of my fucking seat. This is not emotionally resonant because we don’t care about Snoke but it was huge and shocking and had these enormous narrative implications moving forward.

Mode of death: Cut in half by Kylo Ren while he narrates his own death.

Aftermath: The Praetorian guards spring into action to avenge their master. In a later scene, we see Snoke’s severed legs topple to the floor. Hux is visibly shaken and angry. Kylo Ren acknowledges the death (by blaming it on Rey) and takes Snoke’s position as Supreme Leader (”the Supreme Leader is dead”, “long live the Supreme Leader”). I’m... going to ignore how The Rise of Skywalker handled Snoke. It was unnecessary to have Snoke clones from a storytelling perspective. It added nothing to the narrative, just used as a clumsy way to justify that Palpatine was really pulling the strings all along.

Narrative purpose: To deepen the perceived conflict within Kylo Ren and showing his unwillingness to kill Rey. This further complicates their relationship moving forward as we’ve established that the new head honcho powerful villain has no real desire to hurt the hero. The narrative implications of this moving forward were so rich. Pity JJ ignored them. Additionally: To show Kylo Ren symbolically surpassing Darth Vader. In Episode III Anakin claims he will overthrow the Emperor and rule the galaxy with Padme. He never achieves this. But Kylo Ren does (minus the Empress by his side). To deepen the theme of Kylo Ren trying to kill/bury the past in order to become stronger (and ultimately failing). To add Snoke to the list of characters in the movie who embody the theme of failure. To shake up an expected narrative trajectory and provide new pathways for future storytelling. (Again, JJ, looking at you.)

Overall response: Loved it. Loved it. Not as resonant as some of the other deaths but by far to me the most shocking.

Luke Skywalker; portrayed by Mark Hamill

Personal feelings: Okay, this is a big one. Here’s the thing. I did not grow up with the original trilogy. I never really cared for Luke (didn’t dislike him either, just ‘meh’). But this movie. This movie. I went on a journey with Luke. I saw him as fallible. As human. Making mistakes. Failing. Falling into depression. And overcoming it. I cried when Luke Skywalker died. I did not think that would happen. I did not think I would ever love Luke so much.

Mode of death: Force projects himself across the galaxy to face his nephew and save the Resistance; the effort kills him. Luke’s death takes a couple of minutes of screentime, and it is gorgeous. Hamill acts his ass off. The music, the visuals, everything combines to make this the most emotional death in Star Wars--a fitting end for its first hero.

Aftermath: Leia and Rey feel his death in the Force. They speak to each other quietly about it. They know it was peaceful. Luke, knowing he was going to die, came and saw his sister first and gave them beautiful closure and a message of hope. Just before Luke dies, he warns Kylo/Ben that he’ll always be with him. Just like his father. Luke fades into the Force and we know we will see him again as a force ghost (which we do, but JJ managed to trash even that). The boy on Canto Bight and his friends are inspired by the legend of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. He ignites hope throughout the galaxy once more.

Narrative purpose: Multiple. As above, inspiring hope throughout the galaxy once more. To serve the theme of self-sacrifice. Achieving victory without violence (pacifistic). Preventing Kylo Ren from killing more people he cares about (Rey, Leia, Luke) and thereby protecting him, at least a little, from himself. Also serves a similar purpose to Yoda’s death--with both Luke and Snoke dying, Rey and Kylo Ren are without masters, the arbiters of their own destiny (thanks again JJ for fucking that up too).

Overall response: I can’t decide if this or Han Solo’s death is more emotionally impactful to me. They are both so, so moving, and so essential to the narrative.

Leia Organa; portrayed by Carrie Fisher

Personal feelings: This is hard. I don’t think her scenes in The Rise of Skywalker worked. They were cut from The Force Awakens for a reason--and then cobbled together like some kind of Frankenstein’s Monster for this movie. As much as I love Leia and Carrie, I couldn’t feel emotion for her death because it was so wooden and artificial.

Mode of death: Uses the last of her energy to reach her son (it is unclear exactly how she is reaching him. Force projection? Did she create the Han memory? Who knows.) Even with so little to work with, they still managed to focus on her death with her lying down, her hand falling to the side--trying to give this some weight.

Aftermath: Chewie mourns. Ben and Rey both feel her death and are clearly devastated. The Resistance gather around her body in mourning. Her body fades at the same time as Ben’s (wtf, JJ) and then we see her as a force ghost with Luke (but not Ben because fuck him apparently). 

Narrative purpose: To bring her son back to the light, something that has been a central struggle of this trilogy. Sacrificing yourself to save that which you love.

Overall response: It has a purpose, but I can’t help but think it wouldn’t have gone this way if Carrie hadn’t died. It doesn’t seem as organic as the deaths of Han and Luke.

NB: I’m skipping Palpatine because his death was literally nothing else than “defeat the big bad”. It wasn’t even fulfilling a prophecy, it had no significant narrative weight for Rey, it was a nothing burger.

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren; portrayed by Adam Driver

Personal feelings: Twofold. In the cinema, I felt nothing. Nothing. I actually laughed in surprise. Like, “what was that”? The next day, at home, I cried. I don’t think I cried because he died. I was open to that possibility. I cried because I was so, so angry at how poorly his arc and death was handled. Like he was a footnote in his own fucking story. I think him living was a much more interesting story, narratively and thematically, but I wasn’t necessarily opposed to his death if it was done well. And it wasn’t.

Mode of death: Uses the last of his life energy to resurrect Rey. Falls over. (Plop, there he goes.) Fades into the force.

Aftermath: Like, none? Rey looks kind of surprised and blinks for a couple of seconds. No words are exchanged. He just tips over and dies. Cool.

Narrative purpose (or failure thereof): I am fucking reaching here because all of the previously established trajectories and themes are dashed by this ending. We could argue that this is a self-sacrifice to save what you love theme point. Which is fine, but like, no one mourns. He doesn’t become a Force Ghost. No one acknowledges his death. Ben fading into the Force is a metaphor for him fading from people’s minds. It’s like he doesn’t even exist in the context of the story anymore. Which is insanely baffling because all three of the original trilogy heroes sacrificed their lives, at least in part, to save Ben Solo. So that he could in turn save Rey? So he’s just another cog in the machine? This was always about Rey and never about the love Han and Leia had for their son, or that Luke had for his nephew? If you think about it, the only other ‘main’ characters to die during the course of their trilogy were Qui-gon and Padme. And both of those characters had funerals, and people mourning, and huge narrative implications. The death of Ben Solo reads like the death of a minor character. It serves one very narrow and already over-represented theme. The death of all of the rest of the Skywalkers had huge emotional ramifications for the other characters in the films. With Ben Solo, the Skywalker legacy fades as well, as if JJ is telling us that this saga was not about this family at all, but their whole story existed only for the point of saving Palpatine’s granddaughter. How fucked up is that?

Overall response: Narratively, this just doesn’t make sense. It’s lazy and not impactful. When a character dies in films, you want the audience to feel something, so you show other characters reacting to it. Are they sad? Then we should feel sad too! Are they elated? We should be celebrating! No one reacts to Ben’s death, so we’re not sure how we’re supposed to feel, either. The people who are devastated by this death are the ones who love the character itself and are upset that he got treated this way--the death itself was hollow and emotionless.

So, there you have it. Ben Solo was shafted. Death is extremely prevalent in these movies, and yet, being the only new Skywalker of the sequels and half the protagonist (thank you Rian), Ben Solo has arguably the least emotional or narratively impactful death in the franchise.

Rian Johnson would never do this to Ben Solo.

[sailorsol]

So. I am a member of Saber Guild, a Lucasfilms approved lightsaber choreo group. I've been doing it for two years now, and have helped choreograph several fights both big and small. I'm nowhere near an expert, but I spend a lot of time around people swinging sabers, from beginners to fairly talented people with various martial arts backgrounds they've incorporated into their style.

What I really noticed in the finale of the Ahsoka show was just how uncomfortable Rosario seemed with her sabers. She lacked a lot of fluidity of someone who has practiced a lot. I should probably rewatch the fight with Hayden to really get into it, because Hayden and Ewan spent just so much time practicing that their fighting is so smooth. And I think Rosario just didn't get that insane amount of practice they did.

Like, you mention using stunt doubles, but that entire fight at the end of RotS was Ewan and Hayden. At full speed. Which is *insane* and speaks of so many hours of practice. But a detail I loved in the Kenobi show was when we first saw Obi-Wan pick up his saber again after ten years, how clumsy and uncomfortable he seemed. Until that moment he was fighting the troopers in the Fortress and you see it coming back to him and you finally get his infamous Soresu stance and Saber twirl.

Fights don't have to be fast to look good. Rey and Kylo's fight at the end of The Last Jedi isn't particularly fast, and it is actually a lot of just hacking and swinging, which makes sense for Rey who has never used a Saber and is used to fighting with a staff, and Kylo who values strength over style. Vader is the same way, which is the juxtaposition with how Anakin fought. He valued strength, hence the Djem So, but he also liked being flashy.

They've also changed the way they do the lightsaber choreo since the prequels. It used to be the hilt and a relatively small and light shaft. These days they use the stunt sabers we use for our performances, which generally have a 1" pvc blade with some actual weight to it. And the blades light up, which is how we ended up with the awesome scene in Kenobi with Vader's face cast half in blue and half in red, because the SFX folks finally realized glowy laser swords would, well, glow. And I don't recall if they had that in Ahsoka. But I remember after the fight with the night troopers and she turns her sabers off, you can almost see the transition between her holding sabers with blades to holding empty hilts and how Rosario handled them differently.

I don't much care if the fights are slow or fast, i want character accurate fights. The difference between Luke fighting Vader in ESB versus RotJ, versus him in The Mandalorian. You see his progression and comfort with the Saber grow.

Age should not play a huge factor either, especially for a character like Ahsoka. Qui-Gon and Dooku were both older than that, but you can tell Liam Neeson and Christopher Lee felt comfortable with swords.

So basically what I'm saying is, if you are showing me a character with ~50 years of Saber experience, who could keep up with Vader in his prime, who beat Maul at 17, who could take on multiple Inquisitors at once, and she doesn't look comfortable handling those sabers? Maybe you do need a stunt double, or just to have the actress practice spinning them around a lot more until they feel comfortable.

Fans don’t know what they want: Star Wars edition

Don’t know if I’ll make this a recurring type of post but just something I always think of when watching series that’s been on for a long time from Marvel to Pokémon to Dragon Ball etc

So I finished the live-action Ahsoka show and overall I thought it was pretty solid, the thing was I have the benefit of watching most of Rebels and the Clone Wars so my connection to these characters is different from someone who’s never watched them or not a lot as this series was very much a follow-up of Rebels with the Ahsoka clone wars connection as the connecting aspect

Not going to talk too much about the show as it’s still new as I’m posting this

But one thing I kept seeing online and even since the sequel movies was that the lightsaber fights have been slow and boring etc…

And while I agree in a certain sense that they don’t look as fast as animation or the prequels

The problem is that one of the big complaints of the prequel movies was how they were using lightsabers back then

Like people hated how flashy and speedy they were swinging their lightsabers

And I think that has shaped how they have done Star Wars since episode 7/the sequels aired

The basis of the action standard has been the original trilogy and the closest real-world equivalent in sword fights

Where sword fights aren’t about the flash and the blades are mostly heavy let alone how sharp and deadly they are so when there’s a sword fight it’s not about the clashing etc It’s about if you get one hit it’s over

So ever since I’ve noticed that they treated the lightsabers more like heavier swords vs these lighter laser blades

But now whether it’s from the prequel kids and enjoyers are now more of the vocal majority or the choreography hasn’t been the best but now people are calling out that the modern lightsaber fights have been slow and boring

So fans went from don’t make the fights like the prequels to make the fights more like the prequels hence fans don't know what they want

Even if it's more than preferences and audience changes over time

For myself, I’m mixed

Like I think there’s definitely a balance, as you can say that some moments in the prequels they were spinning that deadly blade super casually, and those extra moves showed some openings making people act like oh there was the kill shot, but also light sabers aren’t swords, like lightsabers have the inherent benefit of having the clashing and being able to swing more casually given their size, cut metal and other things, and let alone using the force as an excuse for the movements

I understand the want or need for realism in products such as Star Wars it helps keep things grounded and believable but there’s also the fantasy aspect that I do think needs to be embraced more as yes the choreography of the lightsabers needs to be seen as swords so we have a concept for what’s going on but you also have to be creative with it in a way that shows a lightsaber isn’t just a glow stick sword

I think in some cases it’s a choreography thing as without spoiling too much Ahsoka herself isn’t as fast in her series compared to her in animation, part of the reason is that she’s older and they even comment on that as she’s like 50 in the show and was like 16 in the clone wars a pretty big difference but it’s also they aren’t choosing to make Ahsoka acrobatic or fast since they want Rosario Dawson to actually be the character they even have a moment showing that Ahsoka was faster when younger, and they have moments that give that sense of speed and such but mostly lightsaber fights are just sword fights now

I think there’s definitely some work around like the light trail effect of the light sabers is practically gone now and I think that added will give a better sense of speed and effect

And if you’re going to choreograph essentially a sword fight then get stunt doubles or whoever to help make it feel faster and more fluid, and have fun with camera direction to get more excitement from the critics that think it's boring

Overall it’s funny to me that people used to hate (some still do) the prequels but in terms of things like action people now would prefer that to what we have now

And I do think the rise in things like anime has raised standards for how to perceive action as there has now been some anime influence in even things like Creed 3

Not my most formatted post but oh well

[bibliophileiz]

I haven't seen Phantom Menace since college (when it came out in 3-D and was exceptionally terrible, lol) and watching it again now it's not as bad as I remembered.

Which isn't to say it's good.

Thoughts:

In general, I think the overall plot is a good one. It's the details in the execution that aren't great. The child actors (including sometimes Natalie Portman) are not great, the dialogue is pretty bland and Jar Jar doesn't work any better now than he did in the '90s (in fact he might be worse).

But the podracing is great, and some of the casting is really good. Baby Keira Knightley (who had to have been 12 when this was filmed) does a great job shelving her natural talent accent to play just a wooden bureucratic Natalie Portman. (This sounds mean about Natalie Portman. I usually like her a lot, just not really in this.)

I also think Andy Secome, who plays Watto, does a pretty good job. Also Warwick Davis is in it??? He doesn't have anything to do, but he is there if you want to play Where's Waldo (Where's Warwick).

Also, and I remember noticing this as a 6-year-old in the theater the first time I saw it, but Ewan McGregor as young Obi-Wan Kenobi is *chef's kiss.* Baby Iz watching this for the first time was trying to figure out how they made Alec Guiness look so young.

But the best has to be Pernilla August, who plays Shmi and who should have won a goddamn Oscar, she breaks my heart in this movie. Her line delivery is really good (especially considering some of the dialogue), and her facial expressions, i mean, gawd. This is a woman who involuntarily brought a child into this shitty, shitty world and all she wants is for him to be free and have a future, and that desire clearly battles with her fear for his safety, from the podracing to leaving with Jedi to help finish their secret mission. And in the end she gives up everything so that he can go off into the stars with strangers who think he's special but they don't know him like she does, and she's just left alone, with nothing, on Tattooine, and URRRGGGHHHHH.

Anyway, Shmi is my favorite character and Anakin is such a useless little fuckboi who didn't deserve her, he should have gone back and rescued her the first time he got Jedi leave.

(although I'm not sure Jedi have leave. Which is just one more way the organization in the prequels is supremely fucked up)

Hmm, what other things are good about this movie?

I really love that two teenage girls (Natalie and Keira -- yes, I know their real names are Padme and Sabe, fuck off, it's Natalie and Keira, and they should hang out more) basically come up with the entire third act on their own because they're tired of waiting for these fuckin old white men to solve their problems for them.

also the final space battle is cool but it needed less dialogue from childactorAnakin

(similarly, the gungun battle would have been fine and i think their space ball weapon thingies are kind of cool, but there needed to be WAY less jarjar and i can't figure out why anyone thought he would make a good foot soldier, let alone a general)

and the lightsaber battle has SUCH. AN EPIC. SCORE. ominous choirs over lightsaber sounds are something i didn't realize i needed from my star wars

(Actually there are a weirdly high number of similarities between this movie and Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame)

And Darth Maul is very cool and should have come back in the sequels.

But the pacing's not very good. Also apparently Liam Neeson hated working on this movie and it shows

So those are my deranged thoughts on Phantom Menace. Now I'm staritng Attack of the Clones (which does NOT have as good a plot) and I'm trying to figure out why Padme's dying decoy thinks she's failed her?? Like, she didn't plan on getting blown up, and clearly if the plan was to keep Padme from getting blown up, then it ... worked.... Which is obviously shitty for the decoy, and Padme should be apologizing to HER

I have a feeling I'm going to be more disappointed in this one than in Phantom Menace.

[mariaeduardaanjos22]

My Brother and the Invasion of Naboo (Meu irmão e a invasão de Naboo)

Last Sunday, my family and I watched the movie Episode I - The Phantom Menace. That was the first time he watched it, and he was really excited to watch it, all the while saying he would see "little Anakin".

So the movie started and the first leads to appear were Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi. My little brother, who is only 10 years old, said when he saw the two of them that one was Zeus in Star Wars (Liam Neeson in Clash of the Titans) and the other was the love of my life (his little X-9). He loves all the action and loved it when Obi and Qui-Gon did their stunts and lightsaber fights (he asked me for one, I'll have to buy it). It was only when the rest of the cast finally appeared that he strongly expressed his opinion.

He deeply loved Padmé and her servants, when Jar Jar Binks appeared he knew who he was (he's been watching Clone Wars with me) and just died laughing with all his interactions with the others, especially whenever the Gungan opened his mouth to speak, because according to himself, only nonsense comes out. About my brother, I'll just refer to him as Buís, which is an old nickname. Well, Buís loved everything and seeing how the ships worked, the planet and everything that happened. He made a lot of faces and said that Sidios should be arrested, he deserved eternal jail. Buís really wanted Anakin and his mother to leave Tatooine together, and didn't like the Jedi council's tests for the boy, saying that if they took him away from our mother out of nowhere, he would also be afraid. When Darth Maul appeared he just went crazy, Buís is a big fan of his and simply shouted loud and clear that he was the "Red Devil" (nickname he gave when he didn't know the character's name).

Fast-forwarding things a bit, in the main scene when the Gungans and Droids were fighting each other, that's when he totally caught me off guard. Although he was loving the battle and laughing his ass off with the "Rogers" droids, he turned to me and asked me. "Sister, is this what is happening between Russia and Ukraine? You're older and you've studied a lot, so tell me, are the Russians and the Ukrainians fighting just like them?". My little brother is only 10, I'm 20 and that makes our age difference significant. We have a brother named João Paulo, he is 17 years old, even so, Buís turned to me and asked that question. Here at home, information is gold, and we are taught from an early age to keep an eye on the world around us. So, Buís has been watching the news and he knows well what is happening, he always asks me to watch it with him, so that, in his words, I explain the difficult words.

His comment gave me a new look at the film, I already knew how vile and greedy the plan was that Palpatine hatched just to become Chancellor (we know there's more to it than that). While I love the character, my brother's vision, and the comparison he made really caught my eye, and while it's not an analysis, I wish I could share it with anyone reading this post. So my beloved little brother knows what's going on in the world, and later talking to me he told me he was able to better understand how people who are at war might be feeling.

Anyway, just a small testimony of an older sister who was impressed with her little brother's intelligence. Feel free to share if you'd like any experience, be it similar or not, with kids watching Star Wars movies. Perhaps, as I present the other films to him, I will also bring the opinion of my dear Buís.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Now that we’ve heard your (excellent) critique on Rey and Kylo Ren, can you tell us about a character you like? Anakin/Vader, Luke/Leia, or Obi-Wan for example?

A character? Well alright, I guess I’ll open up with who I like.

First off, unlike Harry Potter, I actually like a good chunk of characters from the Star Wars film franchises. Well, that’s unfair, I like many of the Harry Potter characters, I just see them in completely heretical ways which would get me stoned in polite company. 

... Nevermind, I’m the completely same way with Star Wars. I TAKE BACK ALL OF MY WORDS.

But what I was going to say before all of this is that the characters from Star Wars I most enjoy are those who have a strong presence in the prequel trilogy (though they may have been originally introduced in the original trilogy).

 A heretical thought I won’t get into here, I think the prequel films (not The Clone Wars (2008) from the extensive amount I’ve heard of it but the films), had the potential to be riveting movies. The plot was utterly fantastic, the fall of Rome and corruption of a republic, with very engaging and compelling characters, it just got mired in fight scenes and George Lucas Dialogue (TM). It also wasn’t what many Star Wars fans wanted, a political tragedy, vs. the western space odyssey we got with the original trilogy.

And I really enjoyed Tartakovsky’s lesser known animated mini series “The Clone Wars” from 2003 and 2005. 

BUT RIGHT, YOUR QUESTION

I tend to find characters purely from the original trilogy dull. Han Solo is great but that’s more due to Harrison Ford being a phenomenal actor than anything else (I also felt he was nicely fleshed out in Solo, which surprised me a lot as I did not expect to like that movie).

I also very much enjoyed Rogue 1 though wasn’t particularly enamored with any of the characters. I enjoyed them all but not to the same level of others.

Luke is dull and overrated. I’ve made a post going into him in depth. The entire internet disagrees with me and I’m sure someone will curse me from across the tumblr void any day now.

Leia had... potential that we never see, I like the concept of her character and she goes through horrific hurdles to become a force of nature and a leader, actively chooses not to become a Jedi like her brother, but the story focused so much on Luke she gets lost in the shuffle.

So who do I really like:

Anakin Skywalker, Sheev Palpatine (he’s one of the true successfully monstrously evil villains out there), Obi-Wan Kenobi, Han Solo (though more after Solo than the original films), and Qi’ra

Padme I like but have heretical opinions on that would get me set on fire and disagree completely with fandom. 

Well, actually, that’s everyone. But especially Padme, so let’s not go there.

Qui-Gon Jinn is a delight, a very philosophical, very Jedi, deeply flawed man but I like him more in the context he provides for why Obi-Wan is the way he is and how Obi-Wan at such a young age trains Anakin Skywalker. So, while I like him he doesn’t really pull my interest much beyond that and being Liam Neeson in a pancho.

And this just got way too long and even though I never answered your question I think it’s best to just tell you to come back and ask again about a specific character next time. Otherwise this will become the length of a Tolstoy novel, and we can’t have that.

[javisjeanjacket]

The Phantom Menace Drunk Re-Watch

A/N: y’all asked for more reviews and I am here to serve. :) also THE HORSE IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL CAN I GET A HELL YEAH YOU KNOW I HAD TO CELEBRATE SOMEHOW!!

I am already regretting re-watching this god awful movie but i can’t do maul dirty

there are spoilers for phantom menace in this list but like...its been out for 21 years. if you havent seen it yet what the fuck are you doing

Jesus christ this thing is 2 hours long fuck me

Starting the opening crawl off with a bunch of high brow political information was a BOLD move at best

Obi-Wan "I have a bad feeling about this." Kenobi

YESS OBI AND QUI FUCK EM UP BOIS

Okay okay wait so around 7 minutes into the movie they have a standoff with two droidekas and the droidekas are kicking their asses and so they escape and then somehow just zoom out of the frame?? like they don't walk they're just pulled by some kind of force??? 1999, man

Obi: "The negotiations were short" what a smug ass bitch i love it

"A communications interruption can only mean one thing-invasion" dude what the hell that can not be the case. have you checked the wifi router my guy

Oh fuck I forgot jar jar binks is in this movie get me another beer

also who plays jar jar?? becauseeee I just want to talk. why would you do this to us

That cheek blubbering shaking he does?? JAIL. I AM ABSOLUTELY PUTTING YOU UNDER ARREST STOP RIGHT NOW

Do you think the phantom menace was for the prequels what rise of skywalker was for the sequels in terms of disappointment in the theater

So fun fact about me I have a horrible fear of the ocean and water in general so this whole underwater sequence is literally making my skin crawl

Naboo is vaguely reminiscent of rivendell from lord of the rings I said what I said

While I do respect how much effort they put into the political side of this movie's plot I feel like it's kind of getting in the way tbh

HELL YEAH FIGHT SCENE IN THE HANGAR BAY

"hello boyos." Me trying to flirt

What makes me emo is knowing that R2 was there for literally everyone's adventures and he saw it all and he knows it all but he can't tell anyone :(

MAULLLLLL HELLO SIR ITS V NICE TO SEE YOU

Jar jar is the 8th circle of hell

How tall is Natalie Portman?? because standing next to Liam neeson she looks like she's about 3 feet 4 inches

Anakin's first words to Padme: "are you an angel?" 🥺🥺 Oh-

Watto's neck beard makes me increeeeedibly uncomfortable

Also why doesnt Jedi mind control work on toyardarians?? I have questions

Jesus christ sebulba is terrifying

OBI'S CAPE IN THE WIND SO MAJESTIC I LOVE IT

Okay so at 38:38 into the movie r2 is going into Ani's bedroom and there's a wood carving that looks exactly like Maz Kanata??? 👀👀👀

🥺🥺🥺 3PO and R2 meeting for the first time!!!

Not jar jar eating his food from his plate like a fucking dog please just kill me

Qui-Gon: "I don't know there's just something about this boy." Me about literally anythinf with a pulse and floppy brown hair

C-3PO: "You know, I find that Jar Jar creature to be a little odd." Lol SAME

What is wild to me is that ani's midichlorian count is dummy thicc but it's not talked about enough to be something I remember

MAUL HAS ENTERED THE SCENE THE MAN IS HERE EVERYONE BATTON DOWN THE HATCHES

Qui-Gon to Watto: "Patience, my blue friend." Sksksksk Qui-Gon please

Wait wait wait one of the pod racer announcers is played by one of the guys who was on Whose Line is it Anyway? I just realized! What an amazing show I miss it everyday

That animal farting in jar jar's face lol he deserves it

Also lol why is sebulba so mean to Anakin?? Anakin is like 9 years old. Sebulba is definitely full grown. grow up you fucking loser

I've reached that point in my drinking adventure that I am get very tired so fingers crossed that I don't fall asleep 🤞🏻

Watching this pod race sequence as a child is part of the reason I have so much anxiety now

"Skywalker's spinning out of control!" Lol same

Anakin ate that race tbh

Has anyone written qui gon x shmii content?? because he just put a hand on her shoulder and 👀👀 I am thönking

MAUL V QUI FIGHT SCENE LETS GOO

Listen LISTEN Anakin is like what 9 or 10 in this movie and Padme is ?? 15? 16? No dude. No giving of a necklace and saying "I care for you" absolutely not. JAIL

Palpatine is so good at emotionally manipulating people he must drive a Honda Accord and his favorite movie must be Clockwork Orange

MACE WINDU I SEE YOUUUU YEEHAW

The reveal of Padme as queen doesn't make any sense. Like why?? You could have just waited until it was absolutely necessary bro no need for a dramatic entrace

Anakin too baby to be in battle

Wait is this movie the Star Wars version of the classic man vs technology?? because I'm thinking about the gungans which are very like organic and versus the droids

Also the gungans shield didn't stop the droids from just straight up walking through so like what the fuck is the point guys

YASSSS Maul and Obi and Qui-Gon here we go!!

Seeing maul bust out the double edged lightsaber really made me tingle when I was a young lass

This maul fight is incredibly extra but what else do you expect from the Star Wars franchise

Qui-Gon meditating while waiting for the barrier to fight Maul is absolutely too much

Yay!! the evil donut blows up

IN CONCLUSION

I did fall asleep towards the end there I'm not gonna lie, but ya know, we've all seen this movie before, so.

it was just as horrible as i remembered it but like....i did enjoy falling in and out of sleep as it played in the background so that counts for something right??

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE Review: Obi-Wan vs. Kakashi

This episode is released to Youtube on May 4th. So, may the Fourth be with you.

Obi-Wan′s Preview.

So, before going into this, just be warned: Boomstick has a bunch of Obi-Wan Liners. Let’s get started.

We open up on Tatooine, and our first Obi-Wan Liner, because old Ben was actually Obi-Wan Kenobi. Now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time.

And of course, the classic “Hello there.”

They go over his brief story of training under Liam Neeson, and his rise through the rankings of Jedi Knights. And for the record, yes. I’ll be referring to them as “knights” as opposed to Boomstick’s “Samurai Space Wizards.”

Anyways, they also go over Kenobi’s relation to The Force. The energy that’s all around the universe and allows Obi-Wan to do incredible things.

It also leads us into our first Wiz/Boomstick segment!

Aside from the Force, they also go over some of Obi-Wan’s techniques and other parts of his arsenal.

And they also go over several novels that help give Obi-Wan an edge up as well.

And the Force is no joke. There’s a reason why I’m capitalizing it all the time.

And it wouldn’t be a true Obi-Wan rundown if they didn’t mention his ultimate weapon:

The High Ground.

A powerful technique that he copied from Darth Maul. It gives him all sorts of advantages.

Kenobi also scales to other Force-Users, like Anakin. Which is brought up when pre-Vader did a Force feat that puts the ability to move massive dreadnaughts at massively relativistic speeds.

And to pull that off, it would need over 21 Megatons of TNT. And that was when Anakin was a newbie.

Of course, they do go over some of Obi-Wan’s weaknesses, like his dedication to the Jedi Order, trying to trick Luke into killing his father, and that time when he uh… Dropped the ball when it came to Anakin.

But even at his worst, Obi-Wan is a protector of the innocent, the universe, and the next generation. Sacrificing himself in service of a New Hope…

And then Boomstick ruins the moment by then declaring that Old Ben then became a ghost!

Yeah, let’s be real… This was the only way they could have ended it.

Kakashi′s Preview.

So, apparently it’s not just the kids who had dead parents, it’s the adults too!

The hosts go over the accomplishments that Kakashi had over the years, and how his dad was disgraced for saving his friends rather than prioritizing a mission… And how his dad committed Seppuku. Dick move Ninja Village.

Regardless, the hosts go over his accomplishments. Becoming a Genin at age five, a Chunin at age six, and a Jonin at age twelve. And yes, I copy-pasted that from the wiki because screw actually writing that out.

To be honest, the most “memey” thing about Kakashi’s preview is the “One Thousand Years of Death” technique he has. And while I can understand that Kakashi’s preview isn’t supposed to be “memey”, It’s a tad jarring when Obi-Wan’s was full of memes.

Anyways, the hosts note that Kakashi is most familiar with Lightning. And specifically, that he made a jutsu called the Chidori that got its nickname when it was used to cut a bolt of lightning.

Now, when Kakashi invented it, he ran into a problem… Literally.

He can’t really see that well when using it. So, once he starts moving, he can’t stop.

Until a friend of his gave him a Sharingan.

With this, the hosts note that Kakashi has stolen over a thousand techniques. But, they also note that since he’s not an Uchiha… he can’t really turn it off.

And then his friends all died! Which leads us to our next animated segment.

(I can never spell “Mangekyo” right… This is what I get for being a Transformers fan as opposed to a Naruto fan).

We get a list of feats, and a quick scaling test by way of Jiraiya. Remember him?- He’s the old pervert who carved up a mountain.

Anyways, this comes out to about 18 Megatons of TNT.

And after all the trauma that Kakashi endured, he finally found out that the ways of old were not the way that should be taught. And he lives on, knowing that he trained the next generation to do better than his could.

… Like I said: not a Naruto fan, so I have no idea what significance that this has.

The Battle Itself.

Doovan Hohdan, Daitomodachi, and Devil Artemis are back for an SFM animation. Obi-Wan will be voiced by Steven Kelly and Kakashi will be voiced by Nicholas Andrew Louie. Force and Lightning by Therewolf, and audio led by Chris Kokkinos.

So, after crashing into Konohagakure, Obi-Wan “celebrates” his landing, and opens up the only way Obi-Wan could:

Now, credit where it’s due: Obi-Wan tries to resolve this without violence. Looks like we know where Luke got it from. If all Star Wars DEATH BATTLE combatants start by them trying to diffuse the situation, I’d say that these guys know what they’re doing when it comes to portraying them as normal… Y’know, minus the removed morals.

Obviously, Obi-Wan not going to let Kakashi just outright kill him, so he starts defending.

Now, it takes a while for Kakashi to take the fight seriously. He keeps readinng his book while fighting and it takes some heavy blows to get him to put it down.

Obi-Wan declares that he has the high ground, and unfortunately, that’s too much power to be contained in one screenshot. But, Kakashi manages to counter Obi-Wan’s almighty High Ground technique.

But, Obi-Wan has the force on his side, so being buried isn’t going to stop him.

Now, the fight rages on, and it’s pretty clear that any physical blows are kinda-sorta leaning in Obi-Wan’s favor a bit. Kakashi puts in more effort when countering than Obi-Wan does. Maybe that’s just Kenobi’s calm demeanor, or Kakashi’s hotheadedness though.

Regardless, Kakashi opts to put Obi-Wan into an illusion for a  striking blow.

So, with the illusion dispelled (Seriously. First Hiei, now Kenobi. Will any illusion-character be able to land that move?), Obi-Wan counters.

And he counters HARD.

Kakashi doesn’t break easily though, so he starts using lightning.

The two get ready for a charging blow, so finishing move in

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Another Sasuke vs. Hiei parallel: it takes a moment for Kakashi to actually die.

Also, has anyone noticed that all the Naruto mentors die at the end of their respective battles? (Yeah, I’m kinda cheating with Might-Might, but still.)

Verdict + Explanation.

So, right off the bat, Kakashi has the edge in versatility. Hands down.

For starters, Obi-Wan isn’t going to be running out of fuel anytime soon. Chakra is internal, and the Force is external. And since it’s not a Chakra technique, Kakashi couldn’t copy it.

And the mountain feat is about on par with the dreadnaught feat, so they looked to be pretty even on power… At first glance.

Remember, Anakin gained power over the course of the series. By the time that the two fought, Anakin was much more powerful. So it stands to reason that Obi-Wan, who matched him, would also be on a similar level of power.

Obi-Wan could also tear apart General Grevious’ armor, which could tank blasts from star destroyers. And while it’s a little unreasonable to say that he could do this with his bare hands, the Force definitely can.

In terms of speed, Obi-Wan could react many times faster than Kakashi, meaning that Kakashi wouldn’t have a whole lot of opportunities to actually land a blow. Combined with the precognitive powers that the Force gives Kenobi, this means that it would be hard for Kakashi to get in close at all.

The elephant in the room is dismissed, as when Kakashi had the Perfect Susanoo, he was being possessed by the spirit of his friend.

But, even if he did, Obi-Wan is still stronger.

Kyp could move a black hole. And Obi-Wan was directly compared to him. Taking this literally, this comes out to just short of 14 Petatons of TNT.

And as we all know, a Petaton is a whole lot bigger than a Gigaton, that’s for sure.

And this isn’t even counting the fact that Obi-Wan could just crush his organs using the Force.

Damn! Thank god for the Jedi Code. These guys could literally conquer the entire universe if they wanted. Good thing they adopted the Spider-Man ways of taking great responsibility with that power and using it for good. Screw the Sith for going the Green Goblin route.

Overall impression.

So, has anyone noticed that we’ve been getting lessons in these past few battles lately? Cable vs. Booster Gold came with the moral of “the level of seriousness between characters only really matters for their own universes, not in a DEATH BATTLE”, the one before that had the (somewhat humorous) “We’re all beautiful just the way you are, no matter how many arms or whose wife you stole”, and now we have “With Great Power, comes Great Responsibility” delivered through the fact that we have now seen that power, and we’re thankful for the Jedi for holding back.

Aside from that, the fight is really well-choreographed. While it’s hard to discern that Obi-Wann had the speed advantage, it’s pretty clear that he had everything else. It was clear that he was the more level-headed of the two, and that gave him an immediate edge as it showed that he was more or less, holding back. And the ones who hold back the most tend to be the one who has the most power.

And the Obi-One liners are a delight. If there was anything really awesome that came out of the Prequels, it was the Obi-One liners. Ad to think! This airs on May 4 on Youtube… Yeah, cue angry Naruto fans claiming that “Obi only won because May 4.” Ugh… Freaking DEATH BATTLE Curse, amirite?

8.8/10

Next Time…

Oh. Speaking of Spider-Man…

If this isn’t hand-drawn, there will be riots.

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

Spider-Copycat Combat.

[from-mars-to-flyingwhales]

Finally saw Rise of Skywalker.

SPOILER ALERT

Idk who I’m more in love with:

Poe Dameron (because Oscar Isaac)

BB8 (because adorable)

John Williams (because his music gives me feels like no other) and did you guys catch his cameo?

And can we pls discuss the badass Sith temple and hella creepy undead Palpatine? I kinda got some Star Trek borg queen vibes and I dig it

I momentarily pictured Rey as Evil Sith Empress and I actually thought it might make a decent storyline.

I know she claims the Skywalkers as her family and that’s cool and all but Rey Palpatine kinda has a nice ring to it idk

Did not expect to see Harrison Ford again. That was a pleasant surprise

I almost fell out of my chair when Rey and Kylo were force-fighting over the ship they thought Chewy was on and then rEY HAS LIGHTNING COMING OUT OF HER HAND I might have peed a little bit

When Rey was fighting Palpatine and she could hear the voices of all the Jedi I was like “is that Obi Wan?” And other recognizable voices so I stayed through the end credits to look for voice actors and:

Hayden Christensen

Samuel L Jackson

Liam Neeson

Ewan McGregor

Alec Guinness

Soooo Rey was getting a mid battle pep talk from Anakin Skywalker, Mace Windu, Qui-Gonn Ginn, Obi-Wan Kenobi (Old and young), along with Yoda and the Skywalker twins.

I also loved the discussion/references to ancient Jedi/Sith history. Hearing about the old temples and languages and stuff was pretty neat.

All in all, I think this movie put a nice little bow on all three trilogies.

Brb gotta go buy all the BB8 merch

[benisasoftboi]

In Which I Explain The Entirety of Star Wars, Despite Being Very Much Unqualified To Do So

I have only seen one Star Wars movie - it was The Last Jedi. I saw it, with no context, two years ago in theatres when it first came out. I was very surprised to find out that it made a lot of people very angry, because I quite liked it, as did the friends I saw it with. I can’t say I remember much though.

All the rest of my Star Wars knowledge comes from its generally inescapable nature in the pop cultural zeitgeist. I might have seen a bit of Episode 6, which I don’t know the name of, when I was round a friend’s house once, but I was very tired, and it was about a decade ago anyway.

That’s just some context for my lack of qualifications to do this. My friend said I should still do it anyway. I will not be looking anything up as I write this, so all spelling mistakes and other general errors are mine. 

So anyway - The Entirety of Star Wars:

Original Trilogy 

There is a guy called Luke. He is played by Mark Hamill and he is George Lucas’s self insert. He lives on a planet where there is only sand, because in this universe all planets have only one terrain, I think. He drinks milk. The milk might be blue.

A guy played by Liam Neeson finds Luke. I think this guy’s name is probably Obi Wan Kenobi, but I might have that wrong. At some point he will die tragically and it will be formative for Luke, but then he will also come back as a ghost. Ghosts exist in this universe. 

Possibly Luke has known this guy for a long time or possibly he is a stranger, I am not sure. Somehow they end up on a spaceship.

Luke needs to learn how to use magic powers called the Force, which seems to be mostly telekinesis, and also lets him use a really fancy but probably impractical sword called a lightsaber that shoots blue or sometimes green or sometimes red light. This is called Jedi training. Jedi Knight is a religion. You can claim to be one on the census in the real world. They seem to be really serious people despite having a silly name.

Everyone also has guns that go ‘pew pew pew’ and nerds get really mad when you make fun of that.

Luke will meet many colourful and interesting people on his journey. These include:

A woman played by Carrie Fisher who is also his twin sister but he doesn’t know that until after they kiss. Her name is Leia or maybe Laia. She has silly hair. At one point she wears a slave bikini because she’s enslaved to a gelatinous blob because that’s just how it goes when you’re the woman in a 70s sci-fi movie

A guy called Han Solo because he is Edgy and Does Things Solo. He and Leia have a romance and it’s Drama. He also has a spaceship that people will build very impressive lego replicas of. He dresses like a cowboy. I’m 90% that he is played by Harrison Ford

A bunch of walking teddy bears called Ewoks who can kill you and live in a jungle

A guy called Lando Calrissian who I think wears fancy clothes and that’s all I know about him, he might actually be a villain I’m not sure. He might die?

A little blue robot who hid behind some rocks one time and then in the re-release he hid behind more rocks than before and the fans got Mad

A big gold robot who is nervous and gay and might be gay for the little blue robot, like they might be married but that also might be a meme I’m not certain

A weird green goblin thing called Yoda who makes Luke carry him around and speaks in broken English that annoying people have spent the last thirty years imitating. He dies, but then is a ghost so it doesn’t matter really

A guy called Boba Fett who is a bounty hunter. I genuinely have no clue how he fits in to all of this. He might not actually be from Star Wars, maybe I’m mixing him up with something else. 

Luke is also trying to fight the Evil Darth Vader who works for an Evil CGI Emperor of the Evil Empire. They live on a big spaceship called the Death Star and it looks like a moon but isn’t and people think it’s funny when you point that out for some reason. They are the Dark Side, which makes them easy to root against because they’re just cartoonishly evil I guess. I think they are also bureaucrats. They have Stormtroopers, who might be brainwashed people or might just be robots, or might even be clones. They all wear identical white armour with helmets so people don’t care when they get shot. Kinda like fencers.

Darth Vader is actually Luke’s father and this is a twist except not anymore. This means he is also Leia’s father, I’m not sure if she knew. Also Luke loses his arm. Darth Vader gets redeemed and then dies but also takes down the Evil CGI Emperor with him.

I don’t know what happens in any of the movies, but I know that the first one ends with them getting plans for or from Leia, not sure, the second one has the dad twist, and the third one has ghosts. Also they blow up the Death Star by shooting a garbage chute really hard. 

Prequels

These movies are widely disliked. The first one has too much bureaucracy. They are about Darth Vader’s backstory. He used to be a guy called Anakin. He will Become Evil. He will also meet many colourful characters. They include:

His love interest, who is called Padme. She wears a silly hat and dies of a combination of Childbirth and Sadness. I saw this bit happen one time when I was a kid and I was stuck round my mum’s friend’s house and her son was playing through this part in the LEGO game. It was sad

A guy with a red face whose name might be Maul and has robot legs? 

A guy called Jar Jar Binks who everyone seems to simultaneously hate and feel a desperate need to make sex jokes about 

Angry Jedi People

Probably some robots

Anakin hates sand and is pretty but grumpy. His hatred of sand is what will prevent him from finding Luke in the original movies. He falls in a volcano and gets turned into a robot man and it’s very dramatic. He has an angry red lightsaber. He murders a bunch of children by executing Order 66. Or maybe that was in the first set of movies I don’t know. I’m not sure how they made three of these movies, there doesn’t seem to be much to them.

Also there is something called ‘mitoclorians’ and I don’t know what they are but they make nerds Very Mad.

Expanded Universe

There was an expanded universe, but Disney said it wasn’t canon when they bought the rights, so now it isn’t. If I were a Star Wars fan, I would not take this lying down, because what right does Disney have to say what’s canon? Why is it up to the copyright holders? They are a corporation, not a writer. Expanded universes are always really fun and full of wacky nonsense that would never get put in the mainline stuff. I don’t like it when people try to dismiss them. 

Stand Alone Movies

When the new trilogy started, they also made some stand alone films. They were called Rogue One and Solo. Rogue One is about a woman named Gin or Jinn or Jin or Ginne or - I wish I hadn’t restricted myself to not looking anything up - Urso. The spelling doesn’t matter because she dies. So does everyone else. Then Darth Vader shows up.

Solo is about Han Solo and his friends and they have an adventure and there’s a robot who wants robot rights but she dies so no one has to address the slavery thing. Also apparently it was going to be a comedy but got reshot as a drama. I hope I never watch it because that sounds terrible, even as much as I like Donald Glover who I think is in it probably. I think his character might have been in love with the dead robot.

Sequel Trilogy

These movies are about a girl called Rey. She makes nerds mad by existing and being the protagonist. She is Space British. She is a scavenger and is friends with a really cute little orange robot. Somehow she ends up in space. She starts hanging out with Older Leia’s crew, which include a pilot named Poe Dameron and a guy called Finn, but I don’t know why he’s there. People ship them with each other, and also with Rey. 

The other person people ship Rey with is Kylo Ren, who I call Space Zuko because when I saw The Last Jedi, he showed up and I was like ‘oh, it’s Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender but in space’, because he has bad hair and is angry about his Daddy Issues. I hope in the next movie he gets better hair and fewer Daddy Issues like Real Zuko did. A lot of people get really angry about Rey and Space Zuko being shipped together, but they’re still the most popular ship on AO3. So no matter what happens in the next one, nerds are going to be mad about it, and I am not looking forward to it.

Kylo Ren killed his dad, Han Solo, because he was radicalised to be evil for reasons I don’t know. The guy who runs the New Evil Group, which is called the First Order, is an ugly CGI guy called Snoke. It was apparently a Big Twist that Kylo kills him Last Jedi, and it made nerds really mad. I don’t understand why people were surprised, because when I saw the movie, I saw that guy and was like ‘oh he’s gonna get killed by Space Zuko because that would be Drama and also from a production standpoint having a guy who needs lots of special effects is much more difficult than just having Adam Driver wear a scary mask’ and then I was right so maybe I’m smarter than all the nerds. 

There is also a guy called Hux and he is a ginger. I think he is evil.

The other thing people got really mad about was that Rey’s parents were not established characters. People wanted her dad to be Luke, I think, who is in Last Jedi. I was happy about this because I like Mark Hamill. He spent the movie teaching her about the force while they hang out on an island with a race of merchandising opportunities called Porgs. He dies at the end but he might be in the next one as a ghost anyway. 

Also there was a girl called Rose and people decided that not liking the character meant they could be mean to the actress, which is not true and everyone who was mean to her should be ashamed. There was another woman as well, but I don’t remember her name, she had purple hair and was serious and I have no idea if she was good or evil. 

Kylo Ren’s real name is Ben which is not very sci-fi. Maybe that’s why he changed it.

Though come to think, Luke isn’t a very sci-fi name either. 

Anyway, that’s everything I know about Star Wars.

Feel free to ask me questions about Star Wars and have me try to answer.

Do not, under any circumstances, try to actually explain Star Wars to me. I’m much happier as is, thank you very much

[enterthecocoon]

Oh Killer Moth I didn't expect you to like Phantom Menace! Was there something in particular you liked about it or have you always been a Star Wars fan?

Ah, yes, Garfield and I watched the original Trilogy together many times, he even built a Lightsaber with a blade of fire!

I’ll not give any spoilers since the film did only come out last month.

I think that many people went in expecting something like the further adventures of Luke, Leia and Han, and were dissapointed that the characters were nothing like their childhood heroes. I also hear many people complain about how this movie is more lighthearted than the OT, but one must understand that this movie takes place before the “dark times”, as Obi-Wan Kenobi called them and the Galaxy is at a much more peaceful state. This change only makes sense.

These Movies take place at a very different time than the OT and star very different characters, so they will inevitably have a very different feeling. This does not necessarily mean that it is bad, of course. I enjoyed the new look at a wider Jedi Order and Liam Neeson’s character, we also find out a lot more about the politics of the Galaxy, though some who go in only to see only spaceships and Lightsaber Battles might find those slower scenes boring. I, on the other hand, appreciate that the Movie takes its time to breathe before giving us another action scene. Those, by the way, will not dissapoint. The settings are some of the most beautiful ever put to cinema and take full advantage of the time period they’ve been created in and the technology availible at the time.

So, in short, the Movie is very good, but don’t go in with your own expectations about what Star Wars should and should not be, because this is a new kind of Star Wars.

[eirianerisdar]

⭐️ Midsummer Merriment?

@aivarobinson thanks for asking! Director’s commentary from Midsummer Merriment (I’ll put a link in the replies so this shows up in the tags): Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan find disguises at a beachside tourist stall in order to track down some Spice-dealers. Qui-Gon is gleeful. Obi-Wan is not.

>In the slatted half-light, Qui-Gon turns towards the walls, the glint in his eyes only visible when the bars of dusty light flick across them. He taps a finger against his lips contemplatively, and then reaches for something on the wall.

“This will do for you, I should think.”

Obi-Wan gapes at the item of clothing presented to him.

A lurid orange, short-sleeved shirt, made of material so thin the gaudy dye is clearly visible. There are vague, comical pictures of thranctills painted in bright purple over the whole thing, from collar to buttoned edges.

“Quite glaring, I agree,” Qui-Gon says cheerfully, pulling his catatonic apprentice’s arms through the sleeves. “But that’s the point.” [1]

Obi-Wan stands, frozen, as Qui-Gon selects a neon-green shirt painted with vivid leaves of yellow and blue, and the words SPICE IS NICE! plastered across the buttoned front. The Jedi master pulls it on eagerly, creasing the collar just so. That done, he rolls up his trouser-legs to just below his knees, and does the same to Obi-Wan’s. [2]

Qui-Gon looks down at himself and then at Obi-Wan, makes an impatient noise, and opens a glass-fronted cabinet. The next moment, Obi-Wan blinks as something is slid onto his face.

“These are called aviators,” Qui-Gon says. He smushes a hat onto Obi-Wan’s head. “And this is a bucket-hat. Don’t ask.”

Obi-Wan stares as his master shakes out a pair of aviators for himself, too. A quick search of the counter drawers reveals a pack of stiklii gum. Qui-Gon crams a stick into his mouth and gives one to Obi-Wan, too.

Qui-Gon gives the both of them one more critical glance, and seems to be satisfied with the result. He pulls his apprentice towards the full-length mirror in the corner.

“Perfect,” Qui-Gon grins.

Obi-Wan gawks at the two figures in the mirror. The orange of his shirt clashes beautifully with the green of Qui-Gon’s. They stare at themselves from behind the wide, tinted lenses of their sunglasses. The bucket-hat is every bit as horrendous as it sounded, though it does hide his padawan braid. [3]

Director’s cut:

[1] Qui-Gon is in his element - an opportunity to wear horrendously gaudy clothing and teasingly humiliate his padawan at the same time? Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is questioning every reason for his existence.

And why purple thranctills, you ask? They’re one of the commonest flying non-sentient creatures on Coruscant, and I thought it would be apropos given that this is set on the beaches of Coruscant’s Western Sea.

[2] You know those strange tourist shirt designs with weed leaves plastered all over them that make you wonder at their legality? That was the effect I went for, and Qui-Gon is practically glorying over the opportunity to do exactly what a proper Jedi wouldn’t. And he’ll be taking down a Spice-dealing cell while wearing a Spice is nice! shirt, which is just…so Qui-Gon. The kind of thing that would give Dooku a burst aneurysm.

[3] I had a…very specific image in mind when I wrote this. Liam neeson in aviators, tourist jacket and rolled up loose trousers, barefoot, snapping gum in all his Jedi-mullet glory. A young Obi-Wan Kenobi (no idea what young Ewan looks like, but a little imagination for cherubic cheeks and wide eyes) in a bucket hat and a horribly bright collared shirt. Too-large aviators perched on his nose. I admit when I wrote this it was about 99% fanservice but boy did I enjoy writing it.

It was actually somewhat more challenging than expected to find a section in this fic to do a director’s cut! This is by far the most crack out of all the fics I’ve ever written, so if anyone reading is interested here are some other fics I’ve written director’s cuts for.

Send me a ⭐️ with a fic or fic section of mine to get a director’s commentary and analysis!

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