#like I’ve been in classes for the past 20 years of my life

[singlethread]

I should be excited that I’m done with lectures and classes at the end of the month but instead I’m absolutely petrified

[evie-sturns]

teach me - Chris Sturniolo

summary: you find out you’re bestfriend chris is a total virgin, and has never touched himself, you offer to teach him everything

contains: nsfw, sub!chris, virginity loss, inexperienced!chris, handjob, fluff.

——————————————————————————

chris and i have been friends for years, i met him in middle school when we were placed in the same class.

we tell eachother most things, but a topic that never gets brought up often between us is our personal sex life, obviously he makes dirty jokes every hour of the day but that’s about it.

i sit on the couch with chris as we yap about useless topics,

suddenly he goes dead silent.

“chris?” i question, inspecting his blank face. he shakes his head before speaking,

“what.” he mutters, my eyebrows furrow from the very unexpected change in attitude.

“what happened with you?” i ask, scooting closer to him on the couch and tracing my fingers over his knuckles.

“i can tell you anything right?” he whispers, my heart rate starts to subtly pick up.

“yes- of course!” i state with a nervous laugh.

he hesitates for a moment, his hand reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck.

“i’m like, really frustrated.” he says with no other context,

“frustrated? did i say something-“ i fidget with his hand.

“no! like… sexually frustrated-“ he says barely above a whisper.

my cheeks flush, that’s the first time chris has mentioned anything sexually involving him.

“oh? when was the last time you fucked a girl.” i ask calmly, he buries his face into his palms with a small groan

“never.” he whines quietly.

“what?”

“never!” he repeats slightly louder.

“you’re a virgin?” i ask, he nods shyly.

“you’re the most- i mean i just didn’t expect that-“ i ramble, trying to make him feel better.

“i’m honestly coming up on 21 and i’ve never done anything it’s so annoying.” chris speaks up.

“i get it, just do stuff with yourself.” i sigh,

“i don’t know how to..” he groans,

“you don’t know how to do what?” i ask,

“touch myself? i don’t fucking know-“ he says.

a small laugh escapes my lips, “you are literally the most horny man i know, how have you gone a solid 20 years without touching yourself.”

“i’ve never had a need to, but these past few months have been.. different” he laughs,

“jesus chris, i understand why you’re frustrated now.” i scoff,

he nods with a grin, a silence filling the living room.

he avoids eye contact before opening his mouth, “you’re like.. the only person who knows about that.”

i nod, “thank you for telling me chris.”

“so- you genuinely don’t know how to touch yourself?” i repeat,

“i mean i know how to but i’ve never tried- i did try once but i don’t think i did it right cause it didn’t feel good.” he sighs.

“i can teach you.” i blurt out, almost cutting him off. i clasp a hand over my mouth before spinning around.

he goes quiet, almost contemplating his decision.

“would you?- teach me..?” he whispers,

“i- i mean i guess” i reply,

how the fuck is this happening.

chris’s chest rises and falls more dramatically now, he runs a hand through his long silky hair.

i stand up off the couch, grabbing his hand and tugging him up.

i pull him down the corridor into his bedroom, “god what are the chances of you, chris sturniolo, being a total virgin?” i say in disbelief, his cheeks go red with a small laugh.

i sit him down on the edge of his bed, “we’re really doing this?” he asks,

“it’ll just be- normal, just a one time thing. i mean it’s a positive thing and you’ll finally be able to do stuff with yourself!” i smile,

“o-okay you can just tell me everything i need to do.” he breathes,

“let’s start by getting these off you.” i say crouching down next to the edge of the bed and tugging his sweatpants down his legs.

“you might wanna take your shirt off, you’ll get hot.” i tell him,

he complies, discarding his shirt onto the pile of pillows at the other end of the bed.

he sits in just his boxers.

i take in a deep breath before harshly pulling my shirt off my body, exposing my completely bare chest.

i mean, i had to get him hard at some point?

a small “woah” escapes his raw lips as he shamelessly stares

“woah is crazy.” i mock him, earning a small giggle from him.

i push him further back onto the bed, his back resting against the headboard.

i sit down and straddle his thighs, looking down at him slightly.

“okay, can i take these off?” i ask, tugging at the hem of his black boxers, which have a large tent in them.

“yeah- go for it-“ he sighs with an excited grin.

i tug them down, his erection springing out and resting against his stomach.

“oh my god chris!” i state without thinking,

“is it bad?” he instantly replies with,

“no- no just big.” i whisper,

i take his length into my hand, just holding it up right.

he sighs deeply,

i almost forget i’m meant to be teaching him.

“right, so give me your hand.” i say, grabbing his hand

i spit into the palm of his hand, “oh-“ he breathes,

“sorry.” i giggle,

i grab his wrist and guide his hand to his cock.

“what i want you to do first is just rub that spit all over it f’me.” i say, looking into chris’s eyes.

he wraps his hand around his dick, before stroking it slowly up and down.

“there we go, just like that.” i nod, he watches his hand intently as it runs up and down his length.

i adjust my position on his thighs before holding the outside of his hand, and taking it off his dick.

i just hold the outside of his hand now, moving it wherever i want it.

“i only need your thumb right now.” i whisper, he nods, curling all his other fingers.

i hold his thumb and brush it over his raw tip, a small gasp escapes his mouth.

“just keep rubbing that for me.” i instruct him softly,

he nods frantically as he continues to do exactly that.

i guide his thumb into his slit, a pathetic gasp escapes his lips, “oh my god!” his voice raises a couple octaves.

“good boy, you’re doing really well.” i praise him, which he responds very well to,

i hear several loud whimpers fall from his lips, along with his hips lifting slightly off the bed.

“now give me your other hand.” i say, prying his hand away from the sheets.

i place it on the lower portion of his dick, and guide it up and down.

i squeeze his hand slightly around his dick, his mouth falling open.

“i- i need to stop its getting too much!” he protests with tears pooling in his eyes,

“no sweetheart, that just means you’re about to finish, which will feel really nice, okay?” i assure him,

“fuck-! yes-“ he squeezes out, bucking his hips up into his hands.

his eyes are squinted open slightly, still directly staring at my tits.

i take my hand off the outside of his, and reach it down to cup his balls.

that seems to tip him over the edge.

“pleasepleasepleaseplease”

he rambles, throwing his head back against the headboard before spurts of white land on his stomach and chest.

“good, so so good, keep running your hand up and down and ride it out.” i instruct him, which he does.

he slowly takes his hands away, letting them fall limp onto the sheets as he’s completely silent.

“that- that felt incredible y/n.” he pants in shock,

“how did i go 20 years without ever doing that? jesus.” he covers his flushed face with his hands.

“you did so well.” i assure him, he lets out a soft whine.

i laugh lightly, “you respond well to words like that” i say under my breath.

“mmhm.” he agrees, “that shit did something to me.”

i reach over and tug on my shirt, he lays still on the bed,

streaks of white still lay across his torso.

“oh- hold on.” i say, grabbing his shirt and starting to gently clean him up.

i tug up his boxers and sweatpants, he sighs deeply before flopping down on the bed.

“thank you- so much.” he sighs,

“do you want me to.. maybe teach you more tomorrow?” i ask boldly,

his eyes almost light up, “shit, please do.” he laughs.

—-

tags:

@downbad4reid @sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101sara @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21 @imwetforyourmom @tylerstacobell @sunsetsturniolos @aliceloveschris @jayz4dayz4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-lover @nathandoesgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 @sturnthepot @zayyluvz @realuvrrr @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs @riowritesitall @raysmayhem-72 @sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s@ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonly @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos

[nasa-parker]

i’m falling into an existential crisis!

[dark-fics-4-you]

Sophie’s World

⋆ 18+ Only ⋆

All of my works contain dark themes, including dubcon, noncon (aka rape), somno, abusive relationships, forced pregnancy, incest, and possibly more (each fanfic will have individual content warnings)

DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANY OF THE ABOVE THEMES

Recent Fics

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In the Night - ghostface!stepbro!Rafe doesn’t like how close you’ve been getting with JJ

Old Grudges Die Hard - Rafe Cameron had made your life hell ever since you first met him in elementary school. When you moved away for college, you thought you were finally done with your bully, but your life changes when you come face to face with him at his party a year later.

Crying in the Country Club ch. IV

Crying in the Country Club ch. III

Crying in the Country Club ch. II

Crying in the Country Club ch. I

Softcore - Dilf!Rafe retaliates when younger!Reader jokes that he needs viagra

Number One Fan ch. V - Rafe tightens his control over you, continuing to shut you out from the rest of the world

Number One Fan ch. IV - your step brother can’t stand to watch you flirt with JJ Maybank, and he finally decides to take what he believes he’s owed.

After Hours Lesson - After class dinner, your professor, Coriolanus Snow, offers you a ride home

About Me

I go by Sophie! I’m 23 years old and I use she/her pronouns.

I have been writing fanfiction since I was 14 (yes there is an incredibly cursed blog full of kpop fanfic that I wrote in middle school still floating around on tumblr to this day). I first got into reading dark fanfics when I was 19 or 20 and I’ve been writing and posting my own dark fanfics for about 2 years.

Who I Write For

Sophie’s Masterlist

I mostly write for Rafe Cameron and Coriolanus Snow, but I have written for Sejanus Plinth, Loki, and Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) in the past.

In addition to my Rafe Cameron fics, I have also featured Topper Thorton as a character in a smut.

Requests

Requests are allowed and encouraged but I can give no guarantee that I will get around to writing all of them. I currently have over 200 messages in my inbox, so if I don't end up taking your request, it's nothing personal, I just have a lot of them :)

Here is a list of what I will not write about

Recs!!!!!

Rec tag is #recrecrec

I reblog many fics written by other authors onto this blog but here are just a couple of my favorite authors on tumblr that I have to rec

@cherienymphe

@rvfecamerons

@bunnyrafe

@perlelune

@quin-ns

@proactivetypaperson

@spideyhexx

@youaremyhome

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 30. breaking news

chapter tags/warnings: manipulative! naoya. physical aggression. verbal abuse (not to reader). infidelity/adultery. extremely strong language. corruption. family drama.

word count: 3.4k

notes: thank you again for your patience with the chapter! life update: i resigned from my company (on good terms, even though the work had sucked my mental and physical health), and i am soon doing a trip to japan and southeast asia as part of my recovery. still, i will be actively writing and responding since this community is so important to me! also, has anyone been keeping up with jujutsu kaisen's manga?! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

Life without a sugar daddy was rough.

As Toji Fushiguro's ex-wife and Naoya Zenin's ex-mistress, Mari faced this harsh reality since no one threw their money in her direction anymore. She slept little this past week, overwhelmed by financial stressors. While she still subsisted on the younger executive's credit card (with his fortune, Naoya hardly noticed the charges on his bill), she realized that she actually had to work for an income.

Such was the case as Mari walked home one evening after interviewing for jobs, her body and mind exhausted from fielding mundane questions about her previous professional experiences (which she had little of).

Upon unlocking her apartment door, she was immediately greeted by the sight of her illuminated living room.

That struck her as odd.

She always switched the lights off before she left.

However, when she spotted a familiar face down the hall, she found the answer.

"Tsumiki." Mari dropped her purse by the door. "What are you doing here?”

The woman had not seen her one and only blood-related child in months. While she knew that her daughter—who was, without doubt, a fantastically accomplished and intelligent young lady—just completed her second year at Oxford University, she thought the girl had chosen to remain in England for her summer break. Didn't Toji mention that she did not want to return to Tokyo?

Not that Mari complained. She was just...confused.

Admittedly, Mari should know the answer to her question, but she had been too ‘occupied’ to contact Tsumiki as much as a good mother should. As a result, Mari found herself in the dark about the girl's life in the United Kingdom, her plans for the university holiday, and her recent classes in…what was her field of study again?

Surely, Toji and his twerp son Megumi would know all the answers since Tsumiki had always been closer to her Fushiguro stepfamily. Quite a shame, since Mari would have considered her daughter as the most perfect angel otherwise.

She toed her shoes off.

“When did you arrive in Tokyo?” Mari continued with a plastered smile and approached the girl sitting with crossed arms in the living room.

Genetics ran deep between mother and daughter. Uninformed observers might even mistake the pair as sisters, the physical resemblance uncanny in how Tsumiki presented a more youthful version of the older woman by sharing the same warm chocolate-colored eyes, long dark hair, and flawless porcelain skin.

Yet, physical similarities meant nothing when Mari could not fully decipher her own flesh and blood.

“I came back to Japan earlier this week,” Tsumiki responded a terse edge in her tone.

“But I haven’t seen you until now.”

“Because I’ve been staying with Dad.”

“Oh.” So, she meant with Toji. “You mean your stepdad.”

“No,” she corrected sternly. “He's my dad.”

Theoretically, Mari could go into a whole tangent on how Tsumiki’s actual father was some middle-class nobody whom she hadn’t seen or spoken to since her first divorce (and that was many years ago). Or how the Fushiguros technically were Tsumiki’s ex-stepfamily since Mari had divorced her second husband Toji earlier this year.

But she spared her daughter from the reminders.

“Well, I’m glad to see you back, honey.” With a bottle of unfinished cabernet sauvignon in the fridge, Mari meandered to the kitchen to pour herself a full glass. She returned to living room and joined her daughter on the sofa. “How have you been? I’m guessing England has been treating you well? I have never been, so I wouldn’t know. Heard that the fish and chips are good there."

No response.

Am I being ignored? Mari commented inwardly and swirled the red wine in her chalice.

She took her first sip amid the long and awkward pause before switching the topic to encourage conversation. "Anyway, whenever you would like, you’re always welcome to stay a few nights here. Wouldn't hurt to spend some more time with your mother."

Only for Tsumiki to quip, “We’ve talked about this before. I don’t want to live with you.”

Now, this—Mari believed—was certainly uncalled for. "Watch your tone with me, young lady."

"For what? I am not here because I miss you," her daughter resumed. "If I had a better option, I would not bring myself to show up here and be in front of you."

The older woman placed her glass down and tried to appear calm. Hearing Tsumiki speak with such contempt twisted a deep knife into Mari's heart. Once upon a time, her daughter had been the sweetest girl—warm, full of life, and eager to express her innocent thoughts with anyone she encountered. Now, however, that same person had been tainted into someone cold, guarded, and withdrawn, demonstrated by her disrespect to the very woman who had given her life.

"That is no manner to talk to your mother," Mari cautioned.

"Well, maybe because I have my reasons."

"Which are?"

"Do you want to know why I did not bother to text or call you these past several months?" and Tsumiki did not wait for an answer before she angrily added, "Because I am so upset that you filed a divorce with Dad!"

While Mari had hoped to not bring up the topic before, she had no choice but to do so now.

"That big, burly, bulky man is not your father," she snapped. "He and his emo Harvard-bound son are not your family! In the eyes of the law, there is no longer any relation between you and them. But, I am your mother. I had given you life, and this is what you think of me?"

"Because I love them!" Tsumiki opposed through a hardened glare. "Dad and Megumi treat me more like their blood-related family than you do!”

Mari could not believe the preposterous words her daughter spewed. She always presumed that the Fushiguros had been corrupting her child, and to see her suspicions confirmed had Mari standing up promptly from the couch.

"How dare you say after all I have done for you, Tsumiki?" Mari interrogated angrily. "Did you think that I left your biological father and then divorced your stepfather for what...for fun?! These choices were difficult for me, too! But I made those judgments because I wanted to give you a better life in which we didn't have to worry about where our next meal, our next piece of clothing, or our next rent payment would come from! Your biological father is a no-name nothing. He could’ve never supported the lavish lifestyle you had experienced during your adolescent years. In fact, if I hadn’t married Toji Fushiguro, you probably wouldn't be studying at the University of Oxford right now! I, alone, could never have afforded all your years of expensive tutors or private school tuition. Please, think before you speak. I know I did not raise an ungrateful brat.”

Tsumiki furrowed her brows from the comments.

“You're the ungrateful one, Mom!” she insisted, and the said woman visibly reeled back when the girl continued to seethe with antipathy. “All the money that you had spent while married to Dad, he never asked for a single cent back. Never. In fact, he still pays for my university. In his eyes and mine, I’m as good as any blood-related child to him. He hadn't asked you to chip in because he knows you wouldn't have the money to. Divorcing the man you've been leeching off of isn't a sign of appreciation, Mom."

To hear her child defend another family, Mari wasn’t sure if she was going to laugh or cry at how ridiculous this scene was, the only thing she could process being the pain and betrayal that slammed her with one bitter blow.

"Well, did you want to become a laughingstock?" the woman rationalized. "Given our ties to the Zenin name when Toji left the company, those nasty journalists would've clung onto any scrap to label you a buffoon. You know what those tabloid writers are like! I had the foresight to divorce that man. I did not want the disgrace if we remained attached to the Fushiguros."

After that response, Tsumiki turned quiet with one sharp exhale as her eyes snapped shut, and Mari, whose entire body had undulated from heavy and irate breaths, thought that finally—finally—she had won this godforsaken argument.

Until she heard the younger girl speak again.

"Yet, you have humiliated me more than anyone," and noticing how her mother quirked a brow, Tsumiki went on. "Who are you really trying to protect, Mom? Are you truly making these decisions for my benefit? Or is it...for yourself?"

Despite hiding a gulp, the older woman noticed her heart race. "What do you mean?"

"How can you explain this?"

As though that was her cue, Tsumiki reached for her phone. She tapped onto the front page of the Yomiuri Shimbun, the most highly circulated newspaper in Japan. Before Mari could read the bold title labeled as 'Breaking News,' Tsumiki provided her with a verbal summary:

"The world knows you're a homewrecker, Mom."

Naoya found no surprise when Naobito Zenin burst into his executive suite as an angry bull would charge toward a provoking cape.

Plenty of times, his father barged into his private office completely unannounced, slamming the door open with enough force to rattle the wooden bookshelves behind him. Usually, the dramatic entrance would be followed by a slew of harsh admonitions, and this encounter—Naoya could tell—would be no different.

The astringency cast on his father's countenance gave the executive no other choice than to rise from his seat, his office chair sliding back so he could pose tall and confident as the heir to Japan's largest conglomerate should be.

"Father," he greeted, curt.

Taking hurried steps around his mahogany desk, Naoya aimed to meet the older man halfway until he instead came into contact with one harsh blow that sent his face flogging to the side.

Naoya froze, his gaze lowered.

Instinctively, he reached for his throbbing cheek with one hand as the other wiped briefly over his busted upper lip. To have his father approach him physically like this didn't even register as a surprise. Despite his title as the Zenin CEO, Naoya continued to be scolded, lectured, and outright ignored because, in his father's words, he 'never seemed to get anything right.'

Even now, the older man found no hesitation in cursing out his only child.

"You fucking son of a whore! Want to explain why your affair with Toji's ex-wife is all over Japanese media?!"

Slowly, Naoya lifted his eyes from the floor. He had suspected that this would be the topic of discussion. In the last hour, Naoya saw his name plastered over tabloid pages, news websites, and social media feeds as an anonymous whistleblower tipped publishers in regards to his scandalous affair with Mari—and the millions Naoya spent to hide it. Evidence ranging from supposedly long-gone paparazzi photos to screenshots of money transfers circulated quickly with the internet.

Naturally, Naoya had seen the headlines too...

'Zenin Corporation CEO Exposed for Concealing Affair with Predecessor's Ex-Wife' 'Everything to Know About the Zenin Household's Uncovered Drama in Family, Business, and Love' 'Billionaire Naoya Zenin Entangled in Cheating Scandal, Accused of Bribing Press to Silence Coverage'

...and the comments:

'That’s why you can’t trust rich people. They never have any shame.' 'His wife and company deserve better.' 'Disappointed that this is the scumbag leading our country's largest company.' 'The Board should fire him.’

Now, that last comment struck a very particular chord, especially since the Chairman of that very Board stood before him.

Naoya clenched his hands, yet he stood mute. With every wrong move certain to cost him far too much in return, he was completely powerless in front of the family patriarch and, as a result, his first logical reaction was to defend himself.

"I do not have the evidence yet, but I am certain Toji had planned this, Father. Him, and also Sukuna, Geto, and Choso. All four leaked these details because they didn’t want to see your son succeed. I will resolve this. I am going to call Toji immediately and—“

"You're right," Naobito interrupted coldly. "If Toji had still been CEO today, he would've made sure that none of this bullshit would’ve happened.”

Naoya widened his eyes in bewilderment, not anticipating his father to twist his logic like that. He already received a literal slap across his face, but to realize that Naobito still compared him to his older cousin all these months later drove him insane!

"No, Father. What I meant was—"

"Oh, there is no need to correct me. I know what you meant," Naobito tested in a low voice. "What I gathered from this conversation is that I have given you a million chances in life, and you know what? You blew every single one of them. You're an asshole, you're a cheater, and you're a complete humiliation. I can always count on you to paint me as a failed father."

Outrageous.

With the bitter staring contest between father and son, the latter boiled internally listening to the insults from the man who sired him. For the ruthless Naobito Zenin, Naoya meant no value as an heir without the ability to achieve his high standards. 

"Some twisted brain you have for sleeping with your cousin's ex-spouse,” Naobito then chided, yet amusement remained absent in his tone. “Was that the low-class tramp I saw in the photos with you on the private jet the other day?"

The blonde kept his mouth shut.

But his father wanted an answer. "Well?!"

Suck it in, Naoya. That's all you can do now. "Yes."

What a sight, to see how someone blazing as a furious flame then erupt into a violent volcano. Naobito grabbed his son's collar, pulling him forward and shoving him against the wall. His fists shook as he sought the other's gaze.

"You're fucking married, you realize that?!" he snarled.

"I do! Which is why I have cut Mari from my life! I don't talk to that woman anymore."

Unimpressed, Naobito tugged forcefully at Naoya's shirt again. "I am truly astonished by what an idiot you are. Your answer doesn't change shit." He tightened his grip and did not care that his son wrapped both hands around his wrist to prevent himself from choking. "Let me tell you something, boy. I did everything—everything—to convince our Chief Operating Officer to let his treasured daughter marry you, you despicable bastard. He didn't want to hand the girl over because he knew—oh, that man is wise!—he knew that the union mainly served as a tactic to improve your public image and that there was little obvious benefit for his child. Power and money did not interest him when compared to his daughter, so the one promise I made is that you would love her," and he roared, "so, what the hell have you done?!"

Naoya had heard his father’s warnings countless times, yet he previously brushed each one aside with an ambivalence he now acknowledged as foolish. Unlike before, the threat to his hard-earned position suddenly became very, verypalpable. He grappled with a strange fear, unable to pinpoint what precisely unsettled him the most. The scorn from a world that no longer saw him as an honest businessman? The sneers from relatives with an undeniable reason to mock him? Or perhaps the fury from his draconian father, whose disappointment cut deeper than any public disgrace?

"I—" Naoya's choked voice resembled a croak. He could hardly breathe. "I apologize. This entire situation...this got out of my control."

Alongside his callous disregard for his son’s feelings, the Zenin patriarch even scoffed.

"This isn’t about getting out of your control, boy. This is about your complete lack of judgment. In fact, Daisuke called me when he saw the headlines, and you know what he told me?" and he had to refrain from flinging his son onto the ground before he continued, "That Y/N's been staying in her family residence again because she is going to leave you!"

Naoya held his next breath. Fuck, he knows. Naoya intended to keep his recent arguments with you a secret, hoping to resolve the situation first. However, since your father snitched...lying would be a dangerous move.

"I have not seen Y/N in a week because we've had a few fights." Naoya did not dare admit the details about how you two became arguing spectacles, first in his cousins' presence and later on at the café. "Just...marriage quarrels. We will get over—"

“She would be a moron to stay married to you,” Naobito cut off. "Y/N and your unborn child deserve more than to have a public disgrace like you in the household."

Right. Had he not been reminded, Naoya would've forgotten that he had lied to his father about your pregnancy, too. His hands grew clammy where they still seized his father’s wrist.

“There"—a cough—"there is no child,” Naoya blurted out, determining to rip all bandaids off in one go.

Naturally, his father became perplexed.

“Excuse me?” His hold loosened just enough for Naoya to gasp properly for his next breath.

“Y/N is not pregnant,” Naoya repeated, his voice hollow with resignation. “During our last family dinner, I only said that because I wanted to please you.”

The older Zenin became still, appalled by the younger one's bravery to say those words. For a moment, Naoya braced himself for another physical blow before his father released him, shoving Naoya backward such that he stumbled.

“If you weren’t so disappointing, there would be no need for you to lie to me,” Naobito pointed out coldly. "Not only to me, but also your wife, your colleagues, and your shareholders on matters about your family, your marriage, or your commitment to the company. If Toji had not brought this to the media's attention, how much longer would you have manipulated the truth for your benefit?"

There he went again.

"I don't understand," Naoya protested, unable to contain his frustration any longer. "Toji doesn't belong in this family anymore! Why do you keep talking about him? Father, you forced him to leave earlier this year, citing his threat to our family and company's reputation."

"You're the one to talk!" Naobito shot back. "At least Toji has the brain that you utterly lack." Before the younger man could react, the Chairman had already turned on his heel. "I have made my decision."

His decision?

A confused Naoya watched his father head for the exit.

"Wait, Father...!"

"Enough!" The infuriated man raised a hand right as he neared the door, a warning for him to not speak further. "Our discussion has concluded. Effective immediately, Toji Fushiguro has been re-instated as the Zenin Heir and CEO."

Instantly, Naoya slumped forward in disbelief.

Even as the older man disappeared, the room appeared to spin dangerously. Toji Fushiguro...re-instated? As the heir and CEO?

Naobito Zenin could never make up his mind, now could he? In Naoya's head, this must be some cruel joke.

Ever since he comprehended his ability to bend fate to his will, he had promised himself to fight tooth and nail to defend the (very rightful!) position that he worked hard to earn. He had disposed of his cousin through slander, he had to put up with shitty corporate politics, and, hell, he had to even marry you!

Some may label Naoya's current negative publicity as irredeemable, but he held hope the situation would normalize once the steam blew over.

With these thoughts in mind, Naoya regained his balance and rushed out as well. "Father!"

However, by the time he reached beyond the doors, Naobito Zenin was no longer there. Even his secretary could not be found as, instead, two imposing figures stood by the desk where his assistant should be. Naoya didn't recognize them. The men were tall and well-built, their muscled arms and thighs visible despite the fabric that covered their tattooed skin.

"Nice to meet you," one started after the long silence. "I am Eso and this is my younger brother Kechizu."

A stumped Naoya frowned.

"May...I help you?"

"No," the other answered nonchalantly, "because we are here to knock you out."

"Wha—"

And Naoya's vision went dark.

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: Note that Eso and Kechizu are Choso's younger brothers in JJK. (Both are not completely human in canonverse, but we shall suspend beliefs.) Also, I cannot explain the satisfaction as I wrote about Naoya and his mistress finally getting wrecked! Talk about justice being served! There were many ways these scenes could have played out, but I strategically chose Tsumiki and Naobito as the agents in the discussions. Freed from corporate America handcuffs, I plan to post again soon. Love you all!

taglist: @dissociatingdiva @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @nemoyr @huangfairy @shadowarchon @203steph @agentdedf1sh @cloudybabes @lynn-writes-things @illicitwriter @7oji @kikuchimi @chaoticjojofan @musicisme333 @kumocchin @s-guru @mwahilovemylife @hey-gurls69 @cloudsinthecosmos @moon-mumu-moon @kazscara @skilerfrostfairy @funicidals @nico707 @proteovaldez @tsukiyohanayome @marimoares @qirbys @puffaloxx @sakanoshitaa @arizzuruu @kissditrio @lewd-bunny14 @mistyheart @szired @supsii @yvy1s @lazyassfinals @katkbc @tokyometronetwork @downtown-roponggi @the-cosmos-network

[nattcatart]

Emergency commissions!!!

0/612$

For some background I’m a 22 year old trans guy who is currently trying to make it through nursing school. I’ve had a really rough go financially and in life the last few months- I had to get emergency thyroid surgery in the middle of my first semester of nursing school- and my grandmother was murdered just two weeks after my recovery. This has led me to being out of work for a extended period of time due to the stress of surgery recovery- now having hypothyroidism and grief- all ontop of school. So I’ve been surviving this semester paycheck to paycheck without getting to get a lot of money in savings.

So my college just informed me that my scholarship will not be able to cover my summer semester- I am required to take summer classes to stay in the nursing program. The total that I’ll have to pay in two weeks is 612$.

I don’t typically ask for help like this but I’m at a loss at what else to do- so I’m going to open up emergency commissions.

Here are some examples and starting prices. The way I’m doing these commissions is the starting price is the lowest price I will accept for that commission style- and if you want to pay above that feel free! These commissions will be discounted due to the urgent need of this situation

I can draw pretty much anything! I mostly do dnd character art- and flight rising dragon art- but I’ve done a wide range of commissions in the past! I’m comfortable with furries- robots- humans- animals.

Prices start from highest to lowest!

Full scenes: 45+

Painted fullbody basic background: 35+

Character reference sheet/ fullbody with no background 20-30+

Half bodies: 15+

Headshots :5-10$+

These commissions will have a long turnaround time! Can’t start working full time on them until after finals on may 13th. I will try my best to provide sketches before then ! Please don’t commission if this timeframe does not work with you!

Can do PayPal/cashapp for payment

If you can’t afford any of these options feel free to message me! I’m willing to do sketch commissions as well!! Thank you for reading this far down and let me know if you have any questions

[earthtoharlow]

From the Dining Table

chapter 02

previous chapter

Maya sat at her desk in class, mindlessly scrolling through her phone as she waited for class to start when a text from her best friend popped up.

“You didn’t tell me that your mom dated JACK HARLOW?!”

She stared at the screen, confused, thinking it had to be a joke. Her mom had never mentioned anything like that. Maya quickly texted back;

“What are you talking about????”

Her friend responded immediately, sending a link along with a string of shocked emojis. Maya hesitated, her heart racing, before clicking on the link.

“Scarlett Hayes Spotted at Jack Harlow’s Concert: Former Lovers Reunite After 20 Years”

The headline was followed by pictures of her mom at the concert, and old photos of her and Jack together from years ago. Her stomach dropped.

Frantically, she started googling more. Article after article talked about her mom’s past relationship with Jack Harlow, with pictures she had never seen before — her mom smiling, holding his hand, standing close to him on red carpets.

She couldn’t believe it. The world was going crazy over this. And she had no idea it had ever happened.

Maya’s fingers tightened around her phone, her mind racing. Why didn’t her mom ever tell her about this? Why did she have to find out from the internet like everyone else?

She spent the rest of the school day thinking about what she read about her mother and her favorite artist in the world.

Since it was her week to stay with her dad, when he picked her up after school, Maya was unusually quiet, staring out the window. He glanced over a few times, sensing something was off but waiting for her to speak.

As they pulled into the driveway, she finally blurted out, “I’m really mad at Mom.”

Her dad frowned, cutting the engine. “What happened?”

She took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts, but the frustration bubbled over. “I found out that she used to date Jack Harlow?! And she never told me. I had to find out from some stupid article online!”

Her dad’s expression softened as he realized what she was talking about. He leaned back in his seat, letting out a slow breath. “Ah…”

“I mean, how could she keep that from me?” Maya continued, her voice rising. “All this time, I’ve been a fan of his, and she didn’t say a word! I had no idea, and now everyone knows! All my friends are sending me messages like I should have known!”

Her dad nodded, his face sympathetic. “I understand why you’re upset. It’s a big thing to find out like that.”

The daughter looked at him, her eyes filled with hurt. “Did you know?”

He hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly. “Yeah, I knew. It was before you were born, before we even met. Your mom’s always been private about her past relationships.”

“But why didn’t she tell me? It feels like she’s been hiding this huge part of her life from me,” Maya said, her voice cracking.

“I can’t speak for your mom,” he said gently, “but I don’t think she was trying to keep secrets to hurt you. Maybe she just didn’t know how to bring it up, or didn’t think it was something you needed to know. But I get it, you have every right to feel upset.”

Maya looked down at her hands, still angry but also conflicted. “I just… I don’t know what to say to her.”

Her dad gave her a reassuring look. “Take some time to process it. And when you’re ready, you can talk to her. She’ll explain everything.”

She sighed, leaning back in the seat. “I don’t even know if I want to talk to her right now.”

The daughter sat in silence for a moment before she looked at her dad, her brow furrowed with uncertainty.

“One of the articles said that Jack was the reason you guys got divorced because she could never get over him. Is that true?”

Her dad shook his head gently, giving her another sad smile. “No, sweetheart, he wasn’t the reason.” He took a deep breath, trying to explain without overwhelming her. “Your mom and I… we realized we were better as friends. It wasn’t anyone else. It was just something we figured out over time, and we both wished we’d realized it sooner.”

He paused, glancing over at her, seeing the mixture of confusion and pain in her eyes. “But that doesn’t mean we didn’t care about each other. We still love each other, just in a different way now. And no matter what, our marriage brought us you. You’re the best thing that ever came out of it.”

She looked down, biting her lip. “So, you guys were never… unhappy because of him?”

Her dad shook his head again. “No, our marriage ended because we grew apart. Nothing more than that. Your mom’s past with Jack has nothing to do with what happened between us.”

Maya nodded, her emotions still a whirlwind but feeling some of the weight lift off her shoulders. “I just don’t understand why she kept it from me,” she whispered.

“I know,” her dad said softly. “But I think she’s probably been carrying this for a long time, not knowing how or when to tell you.”

Maya sighed, leaning her head against the window, still trying to make sense of everything. “I guess.”

“Maya knows.”

Scarlett sat in her publicist’s office, her heart sank, and her stomach twisted in knots as she read her ex husband’s text. She had hoped she could explain things to Maya on her own terms, but now the timing was completely out of her control.

“They’re going to release the photos any minute now,” the publicist said, looking up at her. “You being at Jack’s concert… it’s already blowing up online. We need to get ahead of the story, make a statement, or at least spin this in a way that—”

Scarlett cut her off, her voice sharp with frustration. “He’s ruining my life again. Twenty years later, and somehow, he’s still a problem. I can’t believe this.”

Her publicist sighed, trying to remain calm. “We need to act fast. The press is going to eat this up, and if we don’t address it—”

“I said I’ll handle it,” she snapped, standing up abruptly. Scarlett couldn’t believe she was in this position again, with the past she had tried so hard to bury now being dragged out for everyone to see.

Her publicist frowned. “How are you going to—”

“I’m going to fix it. Don’t worry about it,” Scarlett said firmly, already grabbing her coat and bag. “He’s still in town. I know he still has a place here in Atlanta.” Her eyes were blazing with determination as she headed for the door.

“Wait, what are you—” her publicist began, but she was already out the door, leaving her with no choice but to watch Scarlett go.

The drive to Jack’s place felt like it took hours, though it was only across the city. She hadn’t been to his home in years, but she still knew the way like the back of her hand. Pulling up in front of the familiar house, she sat in the car for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. This wasn’t how she wanted to deal with this, but she couldn’t let him destroy her peace again.

Scarlett got out of the car, her heart racing, and walked up to the front door. Without hesitation, she knocked, the sound echoing through the quiet neighborhood.

For a moment, there was nothing, just silence. But then, the door opened, and there he was—Jack, looking just as surprised as she felt furious.

The door barely opened before Scarlett shoved past him, storming inside without so much as a glance in his direction. Jack staggered back, shocked by her bold entrance, but before he could say anything, she came to a halt.

Two girls were sitting on the couch, wearing barely anything. They looked up in surprise, caught off guard by the actress standing in the middle of the room with an icy glare. Scarlett crossed her arms, her expression hard as steel. “I suggest you both leave. Now.”

The girls exchanged nervous glances, knowing exactly who she was and not daring to argue. Without a word, they gathered their things and hurried out of the house, leaving an awkward silence in their wake.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Jack turned to her, his frustration clear. “You can’t just walk into my house and kick my guests out like that!”

Scarlett whipped around to face him, her eyes blazing. “Well, I just did,” she snapped, stepping closer. “And I’m not here to deal with whatever… situation that was.”

Jack shook his head, still trying to process what had just happened. “What the hell do you want, anyway?”

“Have you seen the news?” she asked, her voice sharp. “Or are you too busy with your little party to notice how your concert has blown up every tabloid?”

He looked confused for a moment before realization dawned. “What are you talking about?”

She threw her hands up in frustration. “You’re ruining my life again! Just like you did twenty years ago! I can’t believe I let my daughter talk me into going to your stupid concert, and now the whole world knows! The headlines are everywhere, and I’m not dealing with another scandal because of you.”

Jack stared at her, his expression shifting from confusion to irritation. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m very serious,” Scarlett said, her voice trembling with anger. “I’ve worked my whole life to put that mess behind me, and now, because of one stupid concert, everyone’s dredging up the past. I don’t owe you anything, but I’m telling you—this is the last time you mess with my life.”

He stepped closer, his voice low but firm. “You think I did this on purpose? You were the one who came to my concert, and now you want to blame me?”

She scoffed. “I didn’t come for you. I came for my daughter, who’s obsessed with you, by the way, and now she knows that we used to be together. And I have to deal with the fallout!”

Jack crossed his arms, his jaw clenched. “That’s not on me.”

“Oh, really?” Scarlett shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Because it sure feels like you’ve been a problem in my life since the day we met.”

Jack clenched his jaw, forcing himself to stay calm, but Scarlett’s words stung. He could feel the familiar tightness in his chest, the kind he hadn’t felt since they’d broken up all those years ago. But he wasn’t going to let her get to him this time.

“It’s not my fault you tried to cover up something that can be easily looked up,” Jack shot back, his voice low but steady. “You’re mad at me for what? For living my life? You knew this would come out eventually. Maybe you should’ve been honest with Maya in the first place.”

Scarlett’s face flushed with anger, and she took a step toward him, her hands balling into fists at her sides. “Honest?” she spat. “You don’t get to lecture me about honesty, Jack. Not when you left me with no explanation, no reason—nothing. And now you’re going to tell me how I should live my life?”

Jack didn’t flinch, though her words cut deep. “You wanted to move on, and you did. So did I. But that’s not on me if your daughter didn’t know. If she was gonna find out, it was always gonna happen.”

“You think I don’t know that?” she shot back, her voice rising with each word. “But now she’s hurt and confused, and the whole world is watching, making assumptions! I don’t need this in my life. I don’t need you in my life.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Then why are you here?”

“Because you need to fix this,” Scarlett demanded, her voice sharp. “I don’t care how, but you need to figure out a way to make this go away. I’ve got enough to deal with, and I’m not going to let you screw everything up again.”

Jack scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. “You think I can just make the headlines disappear? That’s not how this works. You walked into my concert—you knew what that could mean.”

“I didn’t expect the world to lose its mind over it!” she shot back. “Fix it, Jack. Or at least stay out of my way while I do.” She stared at him, her chest rising and falling with frustration, before turning toward the door. “I’m not going to let you ruin my life again.”

Jack watched her leave, feeling the weight of her words hang in the air. As the door slammed behind her, he stood there, feeling the sting of the past and the mess they were both tangled in once again.

Scarlett got back into the car, slamming the door harder than she meant to. Her hands gripped the steering wheel as she tried to steady her breath, but the frustration and anger boiling inside her were too much to contain. The words they had exchanged echoed in her mind, hitting her harder now that she was alone.

She inhaled sharply, willing herself to calm down, but instead, a sob broke through her clenched jaw. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes stinging with the tears she was desperately trying to hold back. Her whole body trembled with the mix of rage and sadness, and she leaned her head back against the seat, closing her eyes tightly as if that could stop the flood of emotions.

Why does he still get to me like this? Scarlett thought, her chest heaving. The weight of everything felt suffocating—the media storm, Maya finding out the truth, and Jack standing there, as if he hadn’t left her broken all those years ago. She felt the tears spill over, and for a moment, she was thankful for the tinted windows, knowing he couldn’t see her like this.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally wiped her eyes, taking deep breaths as she tried to pull herself together. She stared out the windshield, her face still damp, and forced herself to focus on what mattered now. Maya. She needed to explain things, to make things right with her.

With shaky hands, she started the engine and pulled out of the driveway, not glancing back at Jack’s house. As she drove, she tried to gather her thoughts, mentally preparing herself for the conversation with her daughter. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was time. She owed Maya the truth.

Before long, she found herself pulling up to her ex-husband’s house. Her stomach knotted with anxiety as she parked the car and sat there for a moment, trying to prepare herself for what was to come. After a deep breath, she got out, determined to fix things with Maya, no matter how painful the conversation would be.

She stood at Robert’s door, her fingers anxiously fidgeting with the strap of her purse as she rang the doorbell. She hadn’t even realized she’d forgotten her key in her rush to get there. Her heart pounded as she waited for him to answer, her mind racing with thoughts of Maya and how she was feeling.

A few seconds later, the door swung open, and Robert stood there with a knowing look in his eyes. He didn’t say anything at first, just gestured for her to come inside. She stepped in, glancing around the house she used to share with him, memories flashing before her. But now wasn’t the time for nostalgia.

“Where’s Maya? How is she?” she asked, her voice tight with worry.

Robert looked at her, his expression serious, and said, “Last I saw, she was burning all your pictures together.”

Her eyes widened in shock, and before she could say anything, he cracked a smile. “Relax, I’m kidding.”

She smacked him on the arm, exasperated. “That’s not funny, Robert!”

He laughed softly, but there was warmth in his eyes. “Maybe not, but it got you to lighten up a bit. I can tell you’ve been crying.”

Scarlett paused, realizing her eyes were probably still red and puffy from her meltdown in the car. She tried to brush it off, but Robert had always been good at reading her, even after all these years.

“I’m just—” she started, but her voice cracked, and she stopped herself, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know what to say to her. I never wanted her to find out like this.”

Robert’s teasing tone softened. “I know. But it’s Maya. She’s upset, yeah, but she’s also smart and she loves you. You’ll figure it out.”

She nodded, taking some comfort in his words but still feeling the weight of what was to come. “Where is she?”

“In her room,” Robert said. “She asked to be alone for a bit, but I’m sure she’ll talk to you when you’re ready.”

With that, she headed toward the stairs, mentally preparing herself for the conversation that had been a long time coming.

Robert watched her with a concerned look as she started toward the stairs. Before she could take the first step, he gently called after her, “Do you want me to be there when you talk to her?”

She paused, turning to face him. Part of her wanted to say yes, to have someone there with her for support, but deep down, she knew this was something she had to do alone. This was her past, her truth, and her responsibility to explain to their daughter.

She shook her head. “No. I need to do this on my own.”

Robert gave her a soft, understanding nod, stepping back to let her go. “Alright, but I’m here if you need me.”

Taking a deep breath, she made her way upstairs to Maya’s room, her heart pounding with every step. Once she reached the door, she hesitated for a moment, listening for any sounds from inside. Hearing nothing, she gently knocked.

“Maya?” she called softly. “Can I come in?”

Silence.

Scarlett waited for a few seconds, hoping for some kind of response, but there was none. Deciding not to push too hard, she slowly turned the handle and stepped inside. Her eyes landed on Maya, who was lying face down on the bed, her body unmoving, clearly in her own world.

Seeing her daughter like that, her heart broke even more. She carefully approached the bed, sitting down on the edge, unsure of how to start.

“Maya,” she said softly, her voice full of love and concern. “Can we talk?”

Still, Maya didn’t move, she didn’t know if Maya was ignoring her on purpose or just too upset to respond. Either way, she knew this conversation wasn’t going to be easy, but it had to happen.

She hesitated for a moment, watching her daughter’s still form, before deciding to lie down next to her. Maya didn’t flinch or acknowledge her presence, but that was okay. She wasn’t expecting a response just yet. The important thing was that she was there, and she needed to say what had been held back for so long.

“Okay,” she whispered, her voice soft but steady, “you don’t have to say anything. I’ll do the talking.”

She stared up at the ceiling, gathering her thoughts before continuing. “I didn’t tell you about Jack because… well, there are a lot of reasons, I guess. At first, it was because I wanted to protect you. You were so young, and your dad and I had our own relationship by then. I didn’t want you growing up thinking things were more complicated than they needed to be.”

Her voice wavered slightly, but she kept going. “And then as the years passed, I thought it didn’t matter anymore. Jack was a part of my past—something I had locked away. You see, we were together a long time ago, and what we had… it was intense. When he broke things off, it hurt me in ways I wasn’t ready to talk about. I thought that by not telling you, I could pretend that part of my life didn’t exist. I thought it would be easier if I never had to relive it. But now, looking at everything, I realize that keeping it from you only made things worse.”

Scarlett swallowed, feeling the weight of her own words. “I didn’t want you to find out like this, Maya. I should’ve told you sooner, and for that, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hide anything from you, but I guess I was still hiding from myself.”

Her eyes drifted over to Maya, who still hadn’t moved, but she could see the slight rise and fall of her shoulders, hear the quietness of her breathing. Maybe she was listening.

“Jack wasn’t the reason your dad and I split up,” she continued, wanting to make that clear. “Your dad and I—we loved each other, and we always will because we have you. But we realized that we were better as friends. It had nothing to do with Jack or my past with him. It was just… life.”

She let out a soft sigh, her emotions starting to overwhelm her. “I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. I just hope you understand that I never meant to hurt you, Maya. I love you more than anything, and I hope we can talk about this—really talk about it—when you’re ready.”

Maya shifted slightly before turning over onto her back, her eyes meeting her mom’s for the first time since the conversation started.

“Why did he break off the engagement?” Maya asked, her voice quiet but direct. “And… do you still love him?”

Scarlett felt her heart tighten at the question. She had expected something like this, but it still hit her harder than she thought it would. She blinked, taking a deep breath before responding.

“I… I don’t know,” she admitted, her voice trembling slightly. “I might never find out why he ended things, Maya. He didn’t give me a reason, and I’ve spent a long time trying to figure it out. Sometimes I still wonder, but… he just walked away without an explanation. And that was hard.”

Maya’s gaze didn’t waver, and it was clear that she wasn’t going to let the conversation drop there.

“And the other question?” Maya pressed, her eyes softening as if she was almost afraid to hear the answer. “Do you still love him?”

Scarlett hesitated, the weight of the question hanging between them. She wanted to be honest with her daughter, but the truth was complicated. It always had been.

“It’s… complicated,” she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know if I can even answer that right now. What I felt for Jack back then—it was real. It was strong. And losing him… it hurt me more than I can explain. But love? I don’t know. After all this time, I’ve tried to move on, but part of me will always wonder. Part of me will always remember the good moments we had. But it’s not the same as it was. People change. I’ve changed.”

Maya searched her mother’s face, trying to read the emotion behind the words. There was so much she didn’t know, so much she couldn’t understand yet.

“So… you don’t hate him?” Maya asked quietly.

Scarlett closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them with a sigh. “I don’t know if I could ever hate him. But that doesn’t mean I still love him the way I used to. It’s just… complicated.”

Maya shifted closer, wrapping her arms around her mother in a tight hug. “I’m sorry you went through that,” she whispered softly. “If it makes you feel better, I won’t listen to his music anymore.”

Scarlett chuckled despite herself, hugging Maya back with a warmth she hadn’t felt in a while. “Oh, sweetie,” she said, pulling back just enough to look at her. “I’m not going to stop you from listening to his music. As much as I hate to admit it, his music is pretty good.”

Maya smiled, the tension in the room easing with a bit of humor. “Really?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Scarlett replied with a playful roll of her eyes. “I might not be able to stand the man, but his talent? That’s something else entirely.”

They both laughed, the heaviness between them starting to lift.

***

AN: tell me what ya thinkkkkk

Tag List

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[hhughes]

Need Jack and Nico trying to convince her

“c’mon vi, don’t you wanna see your favourite devil in action?” nico asks with a grin, knowing jack and luke were gonna protest that statement

“okay, captain dimples, relax. we all know im her favourite devs player. right vi?” jack cuts in shoving nico lightly from their position on the couch as he leans closer to the computer screen

“sure jacky, you’re my favourite,” violet admits, looking at luke and sending him an exaggerated wink, causing the taller boy to smile slightly. god he missed her. even though he saw her at the detroit game only a few days ago.

he couldn’t describe to anyone what it was like, going from being with her 24/7 to seeing her maybe once a month, if he’s lucky. jack calls them out all the time for being “codependent” or wherever but if jack ever met a girl he wanted to spend more than one night with, he’d understand luke’s frustration.

even then, he’s not really sure jack would understand the extent of how much luke was missing her. they’ve known each other practically their entire lives and haven’t gone without seeing each other for more than three weeks max since grade 9. long distance fucking sucked, and he definitely wasn’t built for it. but he didn’t even feel like he could tell her that, because violet was a pro at just about anything she set her mind to, long distance included.

their phone calls were always filled with everything she’s been up to from classes, to dance, to coaching dance, to the big win the guys pulled off against ohio and the party afterwards. if she didn’t tell him that she missed him about 20 times during the call, he wouldn’t be able to tell that she does, probably because she’s so busy and she doesn’t even realize how much time passes before they see each other again. but luke’s busy too, and it still feels like forever for him.

sometimes it felt like she had this whole other life in michigan that he just wasn’t apart of anymore and you would think since this is their second year of long distance they would be at least a little used to it by now, but luke still gets chest pains just thinking about it.

“look guys I gotta go. I honestly don’t think I can swing it but I’ll think about it okay. just don’t get your hopes up,” violet says and all three guys nod

“even if you can’t swing the vancouver game, come to one of the home games soon then. s’a lot closer than van. i’ll fly you in myself, miss you,” jack mumbles, and violet smiles at him. her and jack had grown closer this past summer (if that was even possible) and she had missed him almost as much as her boyfriend these last few weeks.

“miss you too jacky,” violet replies and luke leans forward, reaching to grab the laptop and perching it on his lap so only he’s in the camera, despite the other two guys still sitting next to him

“okay baby. i’ll talk to you soon yeah? probably wednesday when we’re with quinn. i’m sure he’d love to say hi. i love you, get some rest,” luke says, heart squeezing when violet leans forward and kisses the camera

“miss you so much lu. and I love you so so much. i’ll text you tonight okay?” she greets, ending the call when luke nods in response.

“man I don’t know if I liked it more when you guys were oblivious to how in love you were or now that you’re so obvious about it,” jack states, fake gagging and their captain lets out a chuckle

“what was the story of you guys in high school and college anyway? i’ve heard a lot of things. . .” nico says and luke frowns at him

“heard a lot of things from who?” he asks, wondering whose been going around taking about his relationship.

“sheamo mostly. some of the guys have been asking him what you were like in college,” nico says and luke shrugs

“not much to tell really. we’re childhood friends, caught feelings, got together,” luke says and jack scoffs

“sure. you’re missing the 5 or 6 years where you guys were silently pining for one another just because you wouldn’t admit you had feelings,” jack says and luke sighs, rolling his eyes at his brother and getting up from the couch as jack begins to tell nico all the details he knows, not in the mood to stroll down memory lane on how long it took him and vi to pull their heads out of their asses.

“swear hockey players gossip more than the old ladies at grandmas weekly book club,” luke mutters, making his way to his room, planning to look at the calendar and arrange a time to fly his girl out.

[penvisions]

zest {chapter 1}

Pairing: Chef! Joel Miller x Professor! Reader (formally known as Bartender! Reader)

Summary: Changes are sudden, lifestyles are altered, and important questions bubble up but through it all, you have Joel by your side.

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: canon typical language, c'mon reader and joel have potty mouths, age gap (joel is mid 40’s / reader is late 20’s -early 30’s, protective joel, reader is canonically midsize, pregnant reader, surprise pregnancy, reader goes through nicotine withdrawal, smoking, cigarettes, nicotine use, lots of feelings, lots of emotions, complicated family dynamic, reader has family issues, death of a loved one, mention of life-threatening cancer, reader has religious guilt, restaurant lingo, triggers associated with the food industry, reader canonically has an eating disorder, mentions of therapy, references to time apart from each other, adult content, smut, piv, unprotected piv be safe y'all!), talk of marriage, adult conversations, joel and reader are down bad for each other.

REMINDER: this is a sequel series, the previous series can be found here {garnish}

A/N: THEY'RE BACK, BABY! ♡♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || masterlist || ko-fi

It’s the perfect spring day: sun shining in a warm but not hot brightness, a gentle breeze rustling the trees as you zip past them, an iced coffee, and the singing figure of Ellie in the passenger seat all make the first half of the day melt away. The amber of your sunglasses allows for everything to be swathed in the honeyed hue and you smile to yourself as you recall a rather heated comment from Joel ‘that every goddamn show feels so creative ‘n artsy when they slap the same tones over Mexico’ and then a softer set of words as he had cuddled closer to you on the couch ‘it’s not really like that, I’ve been there, darlin’, trust me’.

“What’re you all gooey lookin’ for, Sabrosa?” Ellie pauses to catch her breath between songs from the newest pop punk album from a band you first enjoyed in your teenage years. Unable to resist the temptation of adding it to your already laden down basket at the bookstore last week when you and the young girl had ditched Joel to run errands. “Ew, gross, don’t think about my dad while I’m sitting right next to you.”

“Oh hush,” You stuck your tongue out at her. Getting a kick out of how casually she sounded. It hadn’t ever been awkward between you two, or her and Sarah despite the six or so years between your birthdays. But then again, Sarah had let you into the secret of the older guy she had started seeing in her graduate program the last time she had been in town visiting… “It’s nothing dirty, just one of his many rants about my choice in television.”

“Lemme guess….oh! The washed-out way they show Mexico, huh? Cause you were watching…oh fuck, what’s that show called…”

“Breaking Bad.” Was the supplied answer from your lips as you turned on the turn signal and began to slow down to turn into the parking lot for the restaurant. It wasn’t operating hours quite yet, too early yet for the dinner crowd Joel preferred to cater to. But Ellie had a shift, and you were dropping her off after classes. She wasn’t in either of the ones you teach, having completed the two semester course you had started off with. But you both had a class that ended around the same time, living so close to the university, she liked being able to walk but then catch a ride with you. Tradition, the word rang in your head. Routine, followed it and you smiled wider at the way your life had fleshed out.

“That’s the one!” She exclaimed as she unbuckled the seatbelt and leaned back in her chair. “Man, I really don’t have the energy for work today, but the old man said we have a full reservation list and then open seating at the bar.”

“Gonna be that way for a while, the article about him came out only two months ago. Everyone’s clamoring for a chance to try the ‘bursting flavors’ and ‘exciting combinations’ of the renowned Chef Joel Miller.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s hot shit right now, at least the restaurant is.” Reaching for her coffee in an imitation of you, she sipped at the whip cream, caramel whatever it is she had gotten. Coffee wasn’t her favorite, so she always got the espresso taken out, a glorified milkshake Joel had teased her once. “Proud of him, though. The restaurant was in shambles when he bought it from the previous owners, some shitty Italian place that never cleaned anything.”

“He’s done good.” You quietly agree, sipping from your own overly complicated drink. That was another tradition of yours and hers, to make your way through the menu at the coffee shops on campus, always pausing to get the special of the month. Joel claimed he didn’t understand the need for so much stuff mixed in with coffee, but you caught him stealing sips of yours if he were to come across it unattended around the house or when you were out and about with him and treated yourself.

“There’s my girls.” Joel chimes as you input your code into the gate for the employee parking and round the side of the building. His voice filtering in through the open windows as you pull into a spot and cut the engine. He’s leaned against the back of the building, cigarette in hand. “Was wondering what took you so long.”

“Accident on the main road, had to detour.” You appease as he approaches to open the door for you and pressed a greeting kiss to your cheek as you roll up the windows. He does the same for Ellie as she sidles up beside him for a side hug before trotting off to the door and disappearing through it. He let’s you pluck the lit cigarette from his fingers as you shoulder your bag and close the door. His hand goes around your waist to walk alongside you toward the building.

“As long as you two are safe, that’s all that matters. Today’s special is spaghetti all nerano, wanna do some grading here and try a plate?” He takes the smoking roll back from your offered hand and takes the last drag before tossing it into the pale beside the door. Opening it and leading you through it with a hand hovering over your lower back.

“That sounds yummy, I’m starving.” You toss him a smile over your shoulder before greeting everyone with a wave.

It’s well into the third hour of service and you never got the chance to leave once the doors opened. The bar had been struggling, Millie having taken over as manager and Mary trying to appease the picky impatient customers who all want a taste of the raved over menu and a glimpse at the alluring Chef Miller.

Picking up a shaker and twisting a bottle of vodka in your grip, you glance at the ticket that just printed and adjust the amount you free pour into it. Mary had been looked so guilty as she approached you’re the table where you do your work on a regular basis, the question of if you were willing to help out getting drinks started for those waiting on tables barely out of her mouth before you were nodding and cleaning up your stuff. It was now safely tucked away in the office and you were moving at a fast pace behind the bar to keep up with everything. Millie stepped down to let you take the reigns, knowing she would only get in your way. Ellie could be seen picking up and dropping off glasses at the well as often as Millie as she acted as barback.

The restaurant was buzzing, excited conversation and pleasant atmosphere making you remember the tingling high of getting off from a busy shift with a wad of cash tucked into your pocket. Just as you place a strainer over the shaker and begin to pour the contents over six shot glasses the door to the kitchen swings open and Joel walks through. You’re too busy, so you shift the chilled shots to the mat over the well and place the corresponding tickets beside them. Moving onto the next drink, you rinse out the shaker with the star sink in place.

His eyes catch yours through the crowd of people when you look up as Ellie comes up to take the shots and then watching as she delivers them, the sound of the shaker loud in your ear as you hold it over your head. His steps don’t falter as he approaches the table, he was delivering the plate to, but you could see something flash over his face. He’s back behind the door as you move to lodge the shaker open.

The night goes by quickly, taking orders for those lucky enough to snag a spot at the bar but hadn’t been able to make a reservation. Shoving each cash tip into a pint glass for the girls and even taking a few business cards from people interested in hosting parties in the space. You’ll be sure to pass those along to Mary, even if some of them requested you as the bartender. You didn’t mind, missing the atmosphere and good moments you had experienced in the setting. Ellie is taking back the remaining dishes from the last few tables, Millie is out back smoking after helping to clean up the bar top when Joel ambles from the kitchen once again.

He's got his chef’s coat unbuttoned and loose around the shirt underneath, the glint of his belt buckle catching the fairy lights around the bar. His steel curls are slicked back, but you could see the frizz and fluffiness where they rested over the back of his neck. He had been saying he needed a haircut, but you had made a sound in the back of your throat that made him put it off.

His eyes are trained on you as you move the trash cans full of empty bottles to line up beside the drink pick up area. You’re about to return behind the bar with a wink thrown over your shoulder when he snakes his hands around your waist and pulls you to him. He smells amazing, the perfect mix of savory spices, smoke, and Joel.

“Playin’ restaurant, huh? Thought you went home and passed out.” He leans down to kiss your jawline.

“Nah, Mary asked for my help when Millie got swamped.” You breath out, hands coming up to rest on his chest and push should he get a little too enthusiastic in you still being here.

“Not your responsibility.” His eyes hold no real heat or command, you know it’s born from a place of worry, of not wanting you to stretch yourself too thin.

“It’s okay, baby. I don’t mind.” You cradle his cheek in one hand and play with the collar of his open coat with the other. His eyes glance down, the glitter from your lotion catching the light on your neck and chest.

“Hmm, you looked good. Dress looks good on you, shakin’ those drinks and-“

“Dad, holy crap, it was so busy tonight. Some dude tipped me like fifty percent because he was trying to impress his date!” Ellie plops down on a stool with her server’s book. She doesn’t even look up from where she begins to go over the receipts. “Wait until everyone leaves to start doing that or better yet, wait until you’re home to do that.”

“One day you’re gonna meet someone and it’s gonna be hard to keep your hands to yourself.” You only giggle at the typical parent response from Joel. Ellie wasn’t a touchy-feely person, but you were sure she would be with the right person, you’d seen her flirty interactions with girls while out with you and your friends, tagging along for the free drinks and to have safe company. She was pretty smooth if she didn’t get into her head too much, soft touches to shoulders and waists, though she steadfastly refused to dance. With anyone, no matter the setting.

“Gross,” She begins to fill out the printed shift report before organizing the receipts in order and then asks you for the stapler. Detangling yourself from the man, you do make it back behind the bar. That’s when she notices the pint glass. “Holy shit! You made all that?”

“Huh? Oh, no. The restaurant did. Here.” You hand the wad of bills over to Joel. With your own shift report and stapled receipts. He uses two nimble fingers to extract the shift report but leaves the cash in your hand. Frowning, you track the report as it’s tucked into his back pocket along with Ellie’s. Her own cash tips secure in her booklet.

“Also gonna see about getting some of the petty cash from the safe for the hours you worked.” He begins to take the full bags from the trash cans, tying the ends together tight.

“Joel.”

“You worked, you get paid.” He doesn’t look up as he reaches into the bottom for the rolls sitting inside and begins to place new ones over the lips of the plastic.

“I’m your girlfriend. Who used to work here. I was just helping out.”

“Nope, not gonna fly, darlin’. It’s yours.” He slides the empties cans back around the bar for you to put back in their designated places.

“If you don’t want it, I’ll take it.” Ellie reaches for it and you let her swipe it from your hand. Only for Joel to set her with a look. “Oooor not.” She says as she puts it down atop the clean bar top.

“Joel!”

“Can’t hear you, Sabrosa, gotta make sure the kitchen duties were done.”

“Seriously, I’ll take it if you don’t want it.” You quirk an eyebrow at the younger girl, but Millie bounces up and says everyone was going out for a bite at the taco truck parked a few blocks down. They have a spot in a lot that has picnic tables and offer late night service. Ellie takes off, ensuring you she’ll text either you or Joel when she’s back at the townhouse afterwards. She’d been staying the second bedroom there more and more, as you found yourself splitting your time pretty evenly between it and Joel’s. He would join you sometimes, but certain nights either you needed you own space or he did and that was okay.

Sighing, you lock the patron door behind her and turn the sign from open to closed.

As you’re double checking everything is shut down properly, you open the washer to let the last load of glasses air dry, the steam billowing out. Turning when you hear the swing of the kitchen door again, Joel has his chef’s coat tossed over his shoulder and his backpack over the other. His eyes zone in on the cash and then a smirk takes over his face. You turn your attention back to the washer and ensure it’s off before you round the bar top and makes sure it was swept underneath the stools. You’re about to ask him which car you were gonna take home when you spot a crumpled napkin you must’ve missed.

As you bend down to pick it up, you feel thick fingers sneak beneath the skirt of your dress. You don’t think anything of it until you feel Joel tuck a bill from the stack into the band of your panties. Knuckles grazing against your slit as he moves to the other hip and does the same. You shoot up, the napkin forgotten as you try to turn around.

“Nu-uh,” His palms come to rest on your lower back and shoulders, bending you over one of the stools as the heat of his body looms close. He whispers something about having to scrub the video cameras set up around the dining room before you hear the clink of his belt being undone and feel him move your panties to the side. You throb at the feel of the cooler air circulating around the room, a gasp leaving your lips as he gently runs the head of his cock over your folds, arousal from you both making it such a smooth motion.

As he reaches over your back for something, he fills you up, the stretch of his girth feeling like a reward for the hectic shift completed. But you know the night would’ve ended like this either way.

A moan rips from your chest as he grabs a hold of whatever he had been trying to get, hips flush with yours. He chuckles, pleased with himself before his hands sneak around to cup your breasts as they threaten to spill out from your dress at the prone position. His fingers tuck more bills into your underwear, beneath the straps over your shoulders, into the already full cups to peak out over the swell of your chest. He even tucks one into the mess of your hair thrown up into a clip at the back of your head before his hands secure around your waist and he begins to thrust.

That’s the last memory you have of both smoking and drinking, only a few days before you had anxiously waited for a piece of plastic to tell you your fate. It was now a month since finding out, Joel making sure to go with you to get confirming bloodwork and a full physical. The headaches from missing both finally having abated. Joel on the other hand, he was sneaking cigarettes, you could smell the lingering smoke on him when would come home and you were still up. It didn’t really bother you, knowing he indulged for far longer than you had in the bad habit. But you missed the social aspect of the act, of seeking out the designated spots around campus and chatting, of sitting out on the back patio with Tommy as he enjoyed one on the evenings he stopped by with his own little family for dinner.

But it was all worth it, you mused as you poured yourself a cup of steaming water into what was once your coffee mug. Tea was something you indulged in now, the cupboard filled with the different types you were trying to work your way through to see what would help with the onslaught of nausea and also appealed to your tastebuds. You preferred the fruity ones, just like you did with your cocktails, hence the nickname Ellie had graced you with that stuck.

Jingling keys and heavy footsteps signaled you to Joel’s return, the sun still shining on the calm afternoon. He had been gone when you showed up at his house, a cookout planned for the day. Tommy and Maria had been here an hour, the grill just about ready for the first of many things to be cooked and the pool was sparkling as it awaited the arrival of Sarah and Ellie. You had spent the morning cleaning it of debris and adding a few treatment drops. The whole family getting together. It was good, it was a good feeling being surrounded by them all. You and Maria hitting it off even more over the news of what was to come. Her own child now nearing two, she had given birth while you and Joel were split. But you had sent a care package and visited her in the hospital with her favorite takeout.

It was so domestic, so full a life…it made you wonder why you hadn’t been able to experience it as a child yourself.

“Missed ya, darlin’.” Joel steps up behind you and embraces you. Kissing your temple, you feel the frown mar his lips as you don’t respond. “Everythin’ alright?”

“Yeah,” You mumble, turning in his hold and wrapping your arms around his chest. He smells like cinnamon and the grill brick he used while closing up the restaurant after a brunch shift and you breathe him in as you press your face into his broad chest.

“Gotta shower, wanna join me?’

“The girls will be here soon.” You hold him tighter, missing your own family even if it had never been the same as his own. Dinner once a month with your own father, no visits offered or initiated, grandparents raising you since you were young. A mother who had passed early due to complications from cancer she hadn’t known she had until she was pregnant with you herself. “Wanna make sure everything is ready for them.”

He peppers kisses into your hair before pulling away and disappearing upstairs.

The afternoon continues, the smell of grilling meat and roasting vegetables lilting into the air alongside ruckus laughter and bad jokes. Everyone is comfortable around the patio and the in the pool, food served and consumed. Just a few bites left of everything, Joel ensuring you that he would heed your cravings and what you felt like you could stomach, not worried about leftovers lately.

“So when do we get to meet the rest of the Sabrosa clan?” Tommy askes around the lip of his beer bottle. He’s across from you at the table, Joel off by the grill as he messes with something he hadn’t let you sneak a peak at.

“Oh, um…you don’t?” Caught off guard, the bite of food falls from your plastic fork frozen halfway to your mouth.

“No siblings or nothin?”

“Um, well-“ Clearing your throat you take the bite and chew it contemplatively. Honesty or the thinly veiled truth? Your mind is working hard, something Maria must hear in her seat beside you at the patio table. She shoots Tommy a look you catch out of the corner of your eye, trying to keep calm so the child in dozing in her arms doesn’t stir. “I’ve got two half-siblings, but we don’t keep in contact much.”

“They gonna be at the wedding?”

“What wedding?” “Oh my god, dad! You proposed and didn’t tell us!” Ellie and Sarah holler from where they’re in the pool, one of them resting on a floating device and the other is practicing her laps to get more comfortable in the water. Joel turns from where he was ensuring the grill was off and brings over the s’mores dip he had just let melt to perfection. Your stomach rumbles at the sight of the gooey swirl of marshmallow and dark chocolate, of the rye biscuits he must’ve whipped up at work steaming beside it in a single use tin. Set up with a divider in the middle.

“Haven’t proposed to ‘er yet, quit it.” He sits it down atop a trivet, but no one makes a move to reach for it until he gives the go ahead. But he doesn’t until he’s got one of the dark biscuits covered in the dip and set in front of you. Then it was fair game as the girls begin to swim across the length of the pool, or well Sarah tries to glide her floaty across while Ellie does. Tommy readies one for Maria before making his own, quirking an eyebrow at you as he watches the pull of the dip.

“But your dad is gonna walk you down the aisle, right?” Tommy presses on, not catching onto the awkward way you were shifting in your seat or how you had placed your fork down to rest on the edge of your paper plate. The dessert untouched. But you don’t get to think of an answer before one is flying from your emotionless face.

“Can’t, he’s dead.”

Silence falls over the once happy and jovial backyard, the splash of Sarah slipping from her floating longue echoing.

“Tommy.” Joel’s voice is firm as he pins his brother with a mild glare. Maria is equally unpleased with her husband’s penchant for talking without thinking, not reading the room. He yelps as she kicks his shin underneath the table.

“It’s okay, wasn’t much of a father when he was alive anyway.” You reach for the mocktail you had made a pitcher of for you and the girls to enjoy. No one says anything as you pour yourself another and take a sip from it. Not liking the tension that had crept into the atmosphere, you gather up your nearly empty plate and stack it atop Maria’s to take inside, making more room for the messy dessert. Slinking away, you feel Maria reach out a hand to trail down your arm, comforting you before you’re gone back into the house.

“You dumbfuck.” Ellie mutters under her breath, earning a glare from Joel over his shoulder for her language. But he doesn’t disagree. You do, but it wasn’t his fault. How was Tommy supposed to know he had picked the one subject you had nothing good to say about?

“Shit, I- holy shit.” Tommy’s voice follows you before he yelps a second time as Joel brandishes the still warm tongs from serving biscuits.  

“Way to shove your foot in your mouth, we were havin’ a good time.”

“I didn’t know! I thought she was just quiet about her family not that she didn’t have any.”

“Tommy, you’re the father of my child and my husband but you are seriously so stupid sometimes.”

“Dad, she-she doesn’t have any family?” Sarah is tearing up, affected by the sudden realization of why you never brought anyone around except for a friend every once in a while. She could understand not having a mother, as her own was so distant, only showing up when she needed something or felt lonely in the life she created for herself. But to not have a dad? That was all she knew and she couldn’t fathom how her life would have been without him in it;.

“She’s got us, baby girl.” Joel goes to run a hand over her shoulder and press a kiss to the fluff of her kinky curls as she stands beside the pool set into the ground outside the patio. He wraps the towel she brought out around her and rubs it across her shoulders before lifting his hands. “We’re her family, pretty good deal, huh?”

“Dad….”

“She’ll be okay, I promise.”

The laid back vibe from the afternoon returns once everyone piles into the living room to watch the season finale of an admittedly awful reality tv show. But everyone was hooked and harmless bets were made on who would cause the most drama and how things would end. You’re a little subdued, but you make comments along with everyone else and laugh at the absurdity of what happens on the screen.

Stepping out of the bath you had decided to soak in, you startle when you see Joel sat on the small bench in the master bathroom across from the vanity as you pull back the shower curtain. He’s already changed into his sleep pants, his freckled and bronzed chest on display through the steam.

“Darlin’, why didn’t you tell me your dad was passed?”

“Because it doesn’t matter.” You stand in front of him, taking in the way he watches you through the mirror as you press a bead of toothpaste onto your toothbrush and wet it before popping it into your mouth. A heavy silence fills the room, tangling with the rose scented steam from the bubble bar you had used. The pink water swirling down the sink a near silent hum.

“It-uh, kinda does. Makes me feel…like a whole wedding would be…”

“You don’t have to ask me. We don’t have to get married if it’s going to be a problem.” Shoving down the worries and residual guilt of being raised in a certain religious culture at the thought of having a child out of wedlock, having a child as a single woman you catch the man’s gaze through the mirror. The burn of embarrassment simmers beneath your skin, shame for feeling such embarrassment sparkling behind it, creating a swirl of emotions you hadn’t wanted to feel this close to bed with an early class. You want to marry him, to experience that with him, to live life together as husband and wife, but it feels perfunctory when you didn’t even believe in the reasoning behind why you felt that way. He’s frowning, his brows knit close together, something off in the depths of his brown eyes.

“It’s not a problem…right?” You see the worry flickering through him, in the way his eyes shift and the way he clenches his fists in his lap. “I just…you know you’re a part of the Millers. Have been since the moment you caught my attention, but baby…I don’t want you to feel lonely if it’s my family and your friends.”

“Are you insinuating because I don’t have a family of my own, I’m somehow missing something?” Anger flared hot and sticky in you, washing out the embarrassment. The heat from your bath making it so much worse and you cross the room to pull the door open. Back at the vanity, you ignore his gaze and rinse out your mouth before moving on to clean and moisturize your face. He’s quiet behind you, knowing he phrased his sentiment wrong and this…this communication was new for you both. Still hard sometimes as you both realize how deep some things run and how different you could be.

“You know I’m not.” The gaze he has trained on you reminds you of the way he would watch you through the kitchen, tensions high as you both couldn’t seem to get your heads out of the dirt and just be honest with each other. A time that had passed, allowing for the present to bloom.

“Then a wedding wouldn’t be a problem. But it’s kind of moot, you haven’t proposed.” You don’t anticipate the slight edge to the words as they leave your lips, but they slice through the air. You feel shame overtake the waning anger, making your face hot underneath your massaging hands. The burn of tears threaten to ruin the routine you just completed and you hiccup as your hands flatten atop the vanity, head hanging between your shoulders. You do not like this, but you have no idea where it’s coming from. It really doesn’t bother you that he hasn’t asked. You know he has the intention to, the agreement of a visit to town hall and then a small party to celebrate. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy, simple.

“Hey,” He whispers as he comes up behind you, hands resting over the quick beating of your heart, his naked chest pressed to your back, the damp towel the only thing separating you. But you can feel his own heart between your shoulder blades, strong and sturdy. Grounding you in the way you had explained you preferred when overwhelmed. “I promise I wasn’t trying to upset you, just want you to be comfortable, to have everything you deserve.”

You let him help you to dry off the rest of your body, lotion lovingly applied to your body by his hands before you slip into a nightgown and slip between the sheets beside him. You kiss an apology to his lips, needing him to know that it was just initial panic and not the real way you thought or felt. He accepts it and offers one of his own, lips pressed to your chest, right over your heart before sleep takes ahold of you both.

“I said don’t.” You warned, no humor in your voice. You had tried and failed to put on every one of your pairs of pants, jeans, leggings, and none of them were comfortable. None of them zipped, buttoned, or stretched enough underneath the slight bump that had seemingly blossomed overnight. Joel was sprawled on the bed, working his way to getting up at the late hour. He had been at the restaurant late, later than usual as they had a party stay well after service hours. He had let the staff go on time, ensuring they would get the tip out but not wanting them to have to stay once all the cleaning and side work was done. One of the many things you adored about the man, his willingness to heed situations like that in favor of his staff even if he was gruff and to the point most of the day.

“Didn’t say nothin’, darlin’.” He rumbled from beneath the sheets, tan skin looking deliciously golden paired with the pale pink set you had insisted changing from the white that had previously been curled around the mattress. You had woken up with bad cramps last month, terrified something had happened as you pulled back the covers to find blood spotting the pristine fabric. A quick trip the emergency room as he shared in your panic, albeit in a more controlled way, assured you that spotting was normal during the early months of pregnancy.

“Dress...” You muttered to yourself, hand cradling around the small bump. Joel only hummed, stretching out to alleviate his sore body, thick legs appeared from beneath the fabric. Your eyes traced the long lines of his body through the mirror atop the dresser, drinking in the sight of him and your body began to thrum with arousal. When your eyes roved up the expanse of his broad chest dusted with dark hair to his face, he was smirking at you with an eyebrow arched in a silent question of how long you would ignore his deliberate departure from the bed.

You had all but jumped him when he got home last night, papers you were grading scattered all around you on the couch and coffee table, a Josh Gates show on the television for moral encouragement. He had teased you once about your affinity for the man but you had clapped back with his borderline obsession with Anthony Bourdain, to which he simply said ‘can’t help it darlin’, the man knew his shit’.

The dinner he had brought home had been tossed to the entry way table, as you knelt down to help remove him from his shoes and pants. Mouthing at the line of him through his boxer briefs before he could even get his keys hooked on the mirror over the table. He had been prepared to find you fast asleep, a different kind of tired taking hold of you more and more, almost demanding naps during the day when you got home from campus and right before dinner if you hadn’t worked. But you had sprung up from your spot and welcomed him home, the food forgotten in favor of getting your fill of the man that had been consuming your thoughts. The thought makes his cock fill, twitching underneath the sheets as he recalls your enthusiasm.

He sees the way your eyes dilate at the movement, the hush of his hand skimming down to grip himself.

Suddenly, you’re no longer debating over the clothing flowing from the draws inside the closet or those of the dresser. You peeled the pants you had been fruitlessly trying to zip up and nearly threw yourself at him. He greedily accepts your frantic kisses, starting from his shins and all the way up neck to finally connect with his own. He groans at the taste of coffee you had allowed yourself this morning, his own cup still steaming on the bedside table. His glasses beside it, his cellphone lighting up only to be ignored.

“Does mama need some attention?” He breathes into your open mouth, large palms caressing the exposed skin of your hips. His hands graze your middle, and you shy away from him, self-conscious of the extra jiggle, the stretchmarks from rapid weight fluctuation of your years now accommodating the swell of the beginning signs of the life you two had created together. “Hey, no, c’mere.”

You’re sure he sees the flicker of emotions across your face before you school it into a cool arch of your brow, the playful smirk of your lips. Falling back on bravado that wanes far too quickly these days as your hormones ping pong all over the place. You were just as apt to burst into silent tears as you were to jump him, confusing for you and devasting for him as he tries to read your moods as well as he can. He was hoping to dislodge the habit of you seeking refuge in the townhouse you had gifted Ellie, her own budding relationship prompting her to ask for her own space just as the new stage of your life became known to them. Equal parts of respect for the more tender and tense moments sure to happen and yearning for her own space again.

“Mama needs some new clothes, wanna spoil me?” Your voice is a confident hush, hands reaching forward to urge him to shift closer, both of you on your sides and facing each other.

“Do anythin’ for you, darlin’, you know that.” His teeth sunk into the curve of your neck, tugging you back to him. That seemed to get you to forget your insecurities as he felt you pull him closer, your smaller hands so soft on his chest as they caressed his skin.

“I think I wanna go to that fancy mall, maybe get some pretty underwear that won’t make me feel like a total loser.”

“I’ll take ya anywhere you want, maybe even that big shopping center in Dallas? It’ll be just like the trip we took to Arizona. Could get a hotel, see the sights and just relax. Hear they have a mac and cheese restaurant in the arts district.” He rolls to pin you down, and you move to allow him space between your legs instinctually. Body hovering over yours as he kisses down your neck, your chest, he lets his words sink in. The bralette you had put on doing nothing to hide the perk of your nipples. He laps at them through the thin fabric, delighting in the way it makes you arch up into him. You were so sensitive to his touch lately, your body on high alert as your hormones fluctuate erratically.

“That’s a lot, Joel. Shouldn’t we-“ Your hesitant words are cut off by a searing kiss, the press of his skin against yours making it hard to keep your train of thought.

“We should do what we want, darlin’. Wanna get everything sorted to go this weekend?”

Tears are suddenly pitter pattering over the sheets, darkening the fabric where they land after rolling down the sides of your face. He pushes his weight from where it pressed you to the bed, back on your sides and you let him, unable to stem the tears.

“Oh hey, hey it’s okay,” Joel crowds close, the thin fabric separating your bodies as you bury your face in his neck and curl your legs up, knees pressing into his stomach. Hiccups startle you both as you find it suddenly hard to breath through the onslaught of emotions spiking. “Hey now, darlin’, it’s alright.”

“I’m sorry,” You mumble into his skin, embarrassment flaring up hot in your cheeks and chest. You feel so silly, pulled in too many directions in so quick a succession. “I just…you’re so hot and I’m all bloated and my skin feels all tight and I really want some ice cream.”

Twenty minutes later, you’re happily spooning a sundae into your mouth with a red plastic spoon in the passenger seat of his truck. All the tears and frustration gone from you as you held tight to the treat in your hands with far too many flimsy napkins. He’s got a cigarette dangling from the hand he rests on the inside of the door, trying to keep as much smoke from wafting back into the cab as possible. Errands, today was an errand day and you smiled over at him. Pairs of sunglasses meeting, eyes hidden beneath them. He just leans over to press a kiss to your temple, not wanting to disrupt your enjoyment of the ice cream you literally cried over.

next chapter

taglist: @hiddenbabynyc @jessthebaker @clevergirl74 @anavatazes @samiamproductions @76bookworm76 @tuquoquebrute @sarap-77 @koshkaj-blog @corazondebeskar-reads @ozarkthedog @littlemisspascal @endlessthxxghts @its-nebuleuse @janaispunk @sawymredfox @cumberpegg @grandanchorkitten @noisynightmarepoetry

@regalwhovianbrowncoat774

@pazizz

[starryyskies]

Lil update in case y’all care ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

I’m moving from my shit apartment starting the beginning of august, and my current semester ends near august 13th. My next semester starts almost 2 weeks after (classes start on the 22nd but it’s good to get it started earlier since most classes open early).

Hopefully by then I’ll be moved out, feel more organized and less stressed, and manage my time a bit better.

Classes are going well despite being super fucking stressful, I’m at the very least passing for now lol

But as for drawing, besides that one doodle I finished and coloured, I haven’t been able to do anything at all. It really disappoints me because I see all this amazing art and my fomo (fear of missing out) gets so bad lol. But I am being responsible and doing my best (╥ᆺ╥；)

Thank you guys for your support and kindness and understanding ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

So in case you’re curious my struggles currently read below lol

So, the place I work at, my store is a corporation and we’ve been basically getting babysat by managers from other stores who are also watching their own store, getting paid a shit amount for creating and maintaining not just the scheduling for both stores, but also managing any issues that arise. So we’re on our 4th manager now, and while he’s the sweetest and fucking raddest manager of all times, he is doing the bare minimum for our store. And trust me, I do NOT blame him. To be honest, he is getting paid salary for being a manager of his own store, and it’s like 56k a year or something which isn’t bad at all. But watching a completely different store?

75. Dollars. A WEEK?! That is LITERALLY a slap in the face. That is the CEO saying a big ass fuck you to its employees. So of course he’s doing the bare minimum. Coping and pasting parts of the schedule, he never comes into our store, and while he’s attentive when it comes to issues, he’s our only source of upper management support we have.

We have workers who have worked with the company for 3+ years, 8+ years, and 20 years. They know what they’re doing, but when I am running the shift by myself, I can’t rely on my coworkers to get back to me, because they are not obligated to.

So the schedule is pretty awful sometimes. Sometimes we’re over staffed when we could’ve used the help other times, sometimes we’re severely understaffed. Like for example, today was a shit show. We had 3 people during our busiest time. (I work at a coffee shop) and so we have one person on register who also takes care of the food and packs the deliveries, and then one person on the coffee bar is not enough to handle the amount of drinks they get, so I was basically running back and forth to support both positions while also making sure my coworkers got their breaks. Icing on the cake was when we realized it was way too hot inside the cafe and learned our AC is broken AGAIN! It was 84 degrees before I left work. That is miserable running around taking care of hot drinks and food.

This is something I deal with at least 2 times a week

While also doing school work full time, having a strict deadline to follow to submit assignments (thankfully it’s all online so I can be somewhat flexible)

And on top of all of that, I’m moving in 2 weeks, school finals will be going on by then, and life has been kicking my family in the ass.

My step dad, who I’ve know since I was 6-7, he’s been that second dad to me, I think of him as a hero. He unfortunately has been diagnosed with single cell lung cancer. It had spread to his ribs and femur. While he’s still fighting and going through aggressive treatment, I’m not sure what the outcome will be. He’s putting on a strong face, so I can’t tell how serious it is.

My grandfather is also in the hospital. He’s had a heart condition that requires him to wear an AED pacemaker in his chest, and recently it was used because he had a seizure. He’s not doing too well, and who knows what will happen.

Oh! And my older sister’s wedding is IN TWO MONTHS! I’m the damn maid of honor, and I do nottttt like the attention. She’s the kinda person who likes big fancy weddings but she’s doing her best financially to make it happen, though she also was promoted to manager for her store (we work for the same company) and going through that crazy long training is surly not fun lol.

But anyway, thanks for reading my rambles. Sometimes I feel like nobody really cares but I get reminded that there are people out there who are wondering how I am. So this is for you people

(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)₊˚⊹ ᰔ

[lilzyex]

Bloodstains of a past life ₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚. M.S

(Chapter 1)

In which

Julia went to a bonfire party where she met a sort of strange set of triplets. She never heard their name before. Never even saw their face, but they felt so familiar. Everyone around them knew them well. Even her closest friends which was weird. They never talked about them. But now it seems as if they attended her high school for years.

pilot Chapter2 Chapter3 Chapter4 (tbc)

I was finishing my eyeliner when I got a call from my friend Ava I quickly reached for my phone and picked up the call “hey” I say

“Yo Julia quickly! We already bought the booze and you have 10 minutes to get to the park before we literally go without you.” Ava said in a sarcastic tone

“Alright alright! I’m almost ready I’ll be there in 15.” I say opening my mascara with my teeth holding my phone in one hand “did you guys buy jäger?” I say taking the mascara out of my mouth putting it on my eye lashes

“Yes, don’t worry we thought of you. But you’re paying gas now because we bought the booze” Ava said

“Alright” I chuckle and hang up the phone on the other line I could hear Ava yell “15 MINUTES JULIA! We’re not waiting 50 years for you mate. Some ppl are already texting me if we’re on our way!”

I look at myself in the mirror one last time checking myself out I look at my black shorts with dark nylons and a white crop top. I did a curly hair method on my hair and looked at my gold jewellery

I quickly take my bag and I close my room door.

I rush down the stairs of my house where I meet my mom “be back by 11!!” She says

“Mom” I whine “at least 12? Please Ava can be out until 1am!” I complained reaching for the front door

“I don’t care what Ava can or can do! Be back by 12 jesus”

“Bye love you” I say closing the front door behind me

It was a really sunny day and it was extremely hot outside my eyes squinted at the brightness of the sun

After 10 minutes of walking I see Ava waving at me from the back of Oliver’s car. I wanted to sit at the front but it already was taken by Abigail

I open the door of the car “hey!!” I say sitting down next to Ava

“Hi!!” Ava hugged me and raised the bottle of jäger “My baby!” I giggle as I take the bottle in my hand pretending it’s my baby “ok alcoholic.” Oliver said sarcastically “Oliver you should be the last person to say that” Abigail defended me as Ava and I chuckle in the back seat

“So how long until we get there?” I ask as Oliver started driving

“About 20 minutes” Oliver said “juli you’ve already been there. You’ll see!” Ava said “I literally don’t remember. Why couldn’t we go to the usual place? The forest that isn’t too far away from town like 5-10 minutes?” I ask

“Oh Chris said that cops go there often and he told us it’s better in the other forest more aesthetic also. Oh did you bring your camera!” Ava said

“Yeah I did.” I realise she said the name chris “who’s chris?” I ask confused. Knowing there’s no chris in our school or town as I know of

Ava and Abigail look at me funny. “Julia hello? Chris sturniolo. He literally is in our history class?” Abigail said

“He’s so hot!! Oh and also he’s a triplet! I’ve never met triplets. But they’re all SO hot.” Ava said

“What?” I became even more confused “yeah their names are Matt and Nick. Too bad Nick is gay.” She explained “Wait it’s not even that bad! We can try to set him up with Oliver” Abigail said Oliver immediately rolled his eyes “Abby stop”

“No this is great! Finally a hot gay guy for you!”ava giggled

“How do you even know he’s gay for fucks sake?” Oliver groaned “oh Stella told us, she tried to flirt with him. Didn’t end well” Ava tried to hold in her laugh

I get a weird wave of Deja vu when I heard the name Sturniolo. I knew them from somewhere, but definitely not fucking school.

I look out the window trying to forget the feeling I have in my chest.

17 minutes later we arrive infront of the woods and we call Bryan who invited us in the first place because he wanted to get with Abigail. We all know it even she does, but she’d never get with Bryan he’s not her type at all. And also he’s a fuckboy. But the invites to the coolest high school parties even tho we weren’t really considered popular in our school were worth it.

“Hey Bryan” Abigail said on the other line we heard Bryan’s voice “hey sweetheart, so where are you guys?”

Abigail awkwardly giggles and says “in front of the woods. Where exactly are you guys?”

“I’ll send someone to get you. Are yall next to a fallen tree?” He asks

“Uhh yep” Abigail says

“Alright. Matt! Can you go to the broken tree a few friends of mine are waiting there they don’t know their way here”

I heard on the other line.

Matt.

A few minutes later I see a tall brunette walking towards us. I could barely see his face but some I could sense some fear inside me for my reason at all

“You okay?” Ava asked “uh. Yeah” I say keeping my eyes on the brunette

“Hey” Matt said looking at Ava chris Abigail but when his eyes met mine his eyes went wide.

“Mary?” He said with a concerned look on his face

I scrunch my eye brows “No im.”I pause “im Julia.”

He tried to laugh it off “oh. You just look.” He tried to get any excuse he could out of his mouth, but still completely shocked by her looks “you remind me of an old friend of mine.” He said “anyways let’s go” he made us following deeper into the woods

The walk was akward when Ava whispered into my ear “girl did you see that?? He totally wants you!!”

I shake my head “stop”

Moments later were being greeted by Bryan who is already handing Abigail a drink “thanks, we also brought some booze” she said grabbing Oliver’s backpack taking out a bottle of vodka and jäger

“Oh that’s great!” Bryan said practically eye fucking Abigail

Matt went to sit down next to his two brother who were sat at the fireplace

Suddenly chris and nick looked at me with horror in their eyes

“If we do kill someone tonight we have to keep a really fucking close eye on that girl her name is Julia. But I don’t fucking believe her.” Matt whispered to nick and chris

“Fuck that’s Mary. You turned her into a vampire?! I thought you killed her!” Nick whispered with a pissed off tone

“I didn’t! Okay. She was dead when I left her.” Matt said “what the fuck.” Chris sipped on his drink

An hour later I found myself sitting next to the fire with Abigail sitting across from me was Matt and chris.

Chris was talking to Ava while Oliver went for another drink.

I felt eyes on me again when I looked up from my drink to see Matt staring at me. The eye contact lasted what felt like minutes and none of us broke it.

I felt a strange feeling in my stomach. I swear I met him before. It’s almost like I know everything about him but at the same time nothing. I look at his bright blue eyes, the eyes I remember looking into maybe in a dream.

Maybe im just drunk. I said to myself, and I continued the conversation I had with Ava.

“Guys! Did you guys know that the story of the bitten Mary was in this woods?” Bryan yelled out as he leaned against his best friend Lucas

A few people agreed and yelled out. A few people started scaring each other.

I sat there confusion washing over me, why did he call me Mary?. I knew about the story but I thought it was a made up story to scare people into not going into the woods alone.

“What?” I asked Jake he smirked at me and sat down next to me “dear Julia. The bitten Mary is a TRUE story about a girl who died in this woods. She got attacked by a wolf” he explained as a few people came to sit down to hear the story, Jake put his arm around my shoulders “people say her spirit is angry and is stuck in this exact woods. And if you’re alone she’ll kill you but only young people because she’s mad that she died at a young age.”

“And how can she even kill people she’s a ghost?” Some girl said not believing the story

“She’ll bite you and drink your blood until you die. Don’t believe me? Go deeper into the woods and you’ll see.” He said

“Alright someone give me a shot I wanna see if your bitten Mary isn’t an excuse to flirt with Julia.

She takes a shot and gets up to walk deeper into the woods “good luck!” Jake Bryan yelled

“Should we go scare her?” Jake said chuckling

“Nah fuck that I know she’s already shitting herself walking there” Bryan said chugging his beer after.

2 hours later im wasted, my legs feel weak as i feel a warm sensation in my throat. I can’t help but smile at Ava while she’s talking to me and that buzz in my head I love the most.

“I’m gonna go get another drink” I giggle stumbling towards the tree where the alcohol is on the floor

The rest of the night went pretty well before I realised I was supposed to be home an hour ago I look over at Oliver to see him drunk “fuck! Oliver why are you drinking you’re supposed to drive!” I said seeing Oliver sitting with Nick “it’s okay I can drive you home.” Matt said

I turn around my intention is telling me not to let him drive but we had no other option “thank you” I sigh out of relief “I quickly drag Oliver in my drunk state almost making us both fall I see Ava and Abigail next to the drinks

“Guys we’re going home Matt is driving us since Oliver got fucking drunk” I said “msorry” Oliver chuckled

“I’ll take him” Matt said

The drive home was pretty quick since I almost fell asleep. Finally we got Ava home now it was time to get me and Oliver home. A few minutes later we were in front of my house and when Matt stopped the car I said out of pure frustration “who the fuck are you guys?” Matt turned towards me so he can look me straight in the eyes “were in history class together don’t you remember? You remember right?.” He didn’t take his eyes off of me

It was almost like he wanted to hypnotise me or something “no I don’t. I’ve seen you in my life” Matt look confused “yeah. I’m kind of a quiet type of person. Unlike you.” Matt said turning around quickly

I get out the car slamming the door behind me and slowly getting into my house so nobody wakes up.

Soon I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth and went to bed.

(A/N : did yall see the tvd reference 😜 sorry if there’s any mistakes I didn’t re read this)

[femmefatalevibe]

Hello! I recently found your blog and I love it!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom 💓 I’m looking for advice on something (apologies for the long ask!)

I’m 22 and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend since the past two years and counting. Over the course of it I’ve lost my girl friends. Our friendships weren’t quite strong or close and things happened which felt right enough for me to give up on them. I do have girl friends overseas but unfortunately I meet them once a year if I’m lucky.

On the other hand I’ve stopped putting effort into making new girl friends. I do have some friends who are girls but they’re ones I meet maybe once or twice a month for a party/event.

I’ve also been immensely struggling with my mental health so meeting new people and putting effort has been increasingly difficult. I somehow can connect with boys my age easier than women too. It’s not something I’m proud of but I think it maybe easier because I’ve told myself that they don’t judge nor are they too sentimental to fault my actions.

I do want to have female friends, to share my secrets with and to go to nail appointments with. And much more. How do you think I can help myself?

Hi love!

Thanks so much for the kind words and for trusting my opinion on these intimate thoughts.

Firstly, I think it's important to note that your early 20s are a very transitional time in life, including with friendships, but I get how being in LTR makes it way too easy to give up on making new friends and/or maintaining certain friendships in general, so it's a compounding effect.

Without knowing you personally or your situation past this ask, I presume that it's easier to get along with men because they're less similar to you in certain ways, so you're not comparing yourself to them to such an acute or minute degree.

My advice would be to join some sort of social type of class like a sport, art class, language-learning class, cooking class, etc. to meet people who have a similar interest. Chances are, there'll be some women are these classes and maybe 1-2 of them over time can become friends of yours.

Otherwise, I do believe in the power of loose connection networking as a way to make friends in your industry and HAVE friends in your industry without potentially harming your career while separating your personal and professional lives. If you're still in school, consider being more active in study groups or activities like a newspaper where you'll chat a lot with others and can forge more social connections based on common interests and goals.

Hope this helps xx

[1dfangirls35]

I’ve been finding myself wanting to write down just what I’ve been thinking over the past 48 hours and who better to share them with then the former community I have through this blog.

I remember the day I learned about One Direction distinctly. While I think I had heard WMYB on the radio, it was another girl in my yearbook class watching the music video on YouTube my sophomore year of high school that subsequently lead me to stay up watching Funny Moments videos on my KindleFire late into the night. There was no going back after that.

It is hard to articulate precisely what One Direction means to me. I often joke that it’s a part of my personality at this point- much to my mother’s dismay of me never growing out of the “phase”. I lived and breathed One Direction throughout my last two and a half years of high school. Watching videos, writing fanfiction, sending fangirl Fridays to my friends, and even starting this blog. Through this band I made not only a best friend, but a community of worldwide fans. In the good old days, nothing could make me happier than staying up to listen to a new album (leaked more than likely), the boys tweeting out or going to a concert. That kind of pure happiness is something that I don’t think I have experienced to the same level in my adult life.

While I was always a Louis girl, this blog was started with a Lilo focus- with my friend at that time being a Liam fan. I have always viewed Liam as a strong foundation to the band- especially in the early days. “Daddy Directioner” always guiding them. His songwriting has also been part of many of my favorite tracks.

When Zayn left my freshman year of college, I truly thought that would be the worst day in the One Direction fandom, perhaps second only to the day they announced their 18 month hiatus. But soon I learned there was a whole new aspect to being a fan as each of the boys launched their solo careers. While some members of the fandom broke off and supported individual members, I stayed true to OT5 and was so looking forward to going to each one of their solo concerts.

The dream of course, was that one day they would reunite. 20 year old me thought that would be in less than 2 years, but as each anniversary passed, I started to have a new dream about the reunion. I had my savings account accumulating and knew that when the announcement came, that experience would be priceless. I didn’t care if I was in a nursing home or raising a baby I would be there. I looked forward to the feeling I would get when they announced a reunion or dropped an unreleased album- even if it didn’t happen until I was old and decrepit.

On Wednesday I learned there was a new worst day to be in the fandom- and that was the day I learned of Liam’s tragic passing. There would never be an OT5 reunion in the way that many of us dreamed of and more importantly we had lost a piece of the band.

I think the thing people in the fandom don’t understand is even though I’ve never met Liam- I still feel like he’s been incredibly influential to my life. It’s weird to grieve someone you’ve never met but yet means so much to you. One Direction and even the boys solo work has been a comfort to me at many stressful times. If I’m having a bad day it’s always my One Direction Forever playlist I turn to. I still can’t believe he’s gone. That I will never get to see him perform Strip That Down Live or throw water at Louis on stage again. There will never be a One Direction reunion- not in the way we have dreamed of.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized just how much these boys must have went through at the peak of One Direction. I look at myself between the 16-22 and see how little I knew at that age and how different of a person I was. I can’t even imagine what they went through with that level of fame at such a young age. We will never know what really happened to Liam. There were be speculations and autopsies and eye witness reports but the only person who knew what was going on in those hours leading up to his death is no longer with us. I only wish that he can now see the outpouring of love and support to a boy who shaped millions of lives around the world.

This tragedy is powerful reminder of the power of social media in both his negatives and positives. It’s a reminder that social media can be a harmful and toxic environment. But I’ve also realized over the past 48 hrs that social media can be a powerful tool for connection and community. My TikTok feed is full of memories of Liam and 1D. I’m in a groupchat for girls in my city setting up a tribute. Our fandom still continues to amaze me.

My heart aches for Liam’s friends and family. For Bear. For Niall, Harry, Louis and Zayn. I can’t even imagine what they are going through right now. I hope that even if this tragedy never leads us to a formal reunion between the remaining four, that this reconnects them together. I hope Liam is in a better place now and that all his pain and suffering are gone.

Take care of each other, take care of your friends and let us remember Liam as a boy that changed our lives forever. Let us remaninsce on all the joy he brought to our lives. One Direction isn’t One Direction without him 🥲.

Rest In Peace Payno

[9leaguesofmirrors]

Hidden (a Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe fanfic)

I recently started watching What We Do In The Shadows, and this fic is inspired by one of my favourite scenes. It takes place in the season 3 finale between Nadja and Laszlo. Hopefully you all enjoy it!

“How come your dad never had a funeral?”

“He did. It was just a small event.”

Ross held his mug in his hand, ignoring the burning sensation in his hands. It was more of a comfort than anything, a distraction from a conversation he only hoped would pass soon

“Your dad? A small event!” Lisgoe cackled “That attention-seeking bastard wouldn’t allow it!”

“He didn’t have much say in the matter, hardly anybody went.”

“That, I can believe.”

As Lisgoe dropped the subject, in favour of the funeral scene that was currently on their TV, Ross breathed a sigh of relief

Sometimes, he reminded himself, it’s better to lie

*********************************************

Ross’ dad had been trying to contact him all week, and he was starting to worry that he’d have to explain to his partner why he’d lied about the death of a family member

It wasn’t until that Saturday evening that he realised, after a lot of hiding his phone and sneaking glances at it when he thought Lisgoe wasn’t watching, just how incriminating he was making himself look. And the sideways glances he was getting confirmed that theory

Sitting on the same sofa as him probably wasn’t a smart idea

“Ross, what are you doing?”

“... Nothing.”

“Christ,” he muttered, snatching the phone from his partner’s hand “sound less convincing.”

“Joseph-”

“This has gone on for a whole fucking week.” Lisgoe started going through the phone “It stops…”

They made eye contact, and the look on Lisgoe’s face made Ross go pale. And what came out of his mouth made his stomach drop

“You communicating with the dead now, Ross?”

Ross let out a sigh

“Joseph, I can explain-”

“You said your dad died six fucking months ago. So how is this “dead man” contacting you?” Lisgoe looked at the phone again “15 missed calls, Ross, 15 fucking calls and 20 texts from this week alone.”

“Let me talk.”

“Can’t fucking wait.” He tossed the phone at Ross and folded his arms, reclining in a comfortable position

Ross shifted his body to face his partner properly

“He’s dead to me. I’ve been trying to cut contact.”

“Then why not block him?”

“It’s… look, I’m taking small steps. Ignoring him is the first one.”

Lisgoe’s jaw tightened, but the way he looked down for a moment, nodding gently, implied some level of understanding

“Did he not like that you were into fellas?”

They look at each other and Ross feels himself go hot with anger. Anger, not at Lisgoe, but at the past

“... No.”

Nothing was said for a moment

“He didn’t care about my love life for years, he didn’t even care that I was gay.”

As Lisgoe turned his body to face him, Ross pressed his fingertips together in an almost self-soothing manner

He felt a hand on his wrist, firm but not threatening

“It’s about the fact that… years ago, I fell in love.” Ross closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and continued “I fell in love with a working-class man.”

He watched Lisgoe’s eyes widen gently, brows furrowing, but he said nothing

“A man,” Ross continued “that grew up in a tiny council estate in Sheffield, with no social standing or inherited wealth. A man that had to fight that little bit harder to get what he wanted.” He took Lisgoe’s hand “The things he called that man…” he shook his head in disgust “I could’ve killed him. He even went as far as calling him a mistake.”

For a moment, Lisgoe’s jaw tightened further. As if trying to force down a swirling pit in his stomach. Instinctively, Ross touched the side of his face and spoke in a serious tone

“That man… is the most life-altering person I’ve ever met. To the point where he started changing my idea of a mistake. Changed my way of seeing the world. Made me realise that sometimes, you can’t think. Sometimes you have to just do.”

His hand moved to the back of Lisgoe’s head, fingers threading through his hair

“That man, obviously-”

Lisgoe’s lips pursed, as if beginning to speak, but the words didn’t come

Ross understood

“Yes. It’s you, Joseph.”

He watched his partner breathe deeply, his exhale trembling ever so slightly. Ross knew better than to point it out

“How are you feeling about it?”

That caught Ross offguard. It was strange to hear Lisgoe react in a way that wasn’t inciting some sort of violence

“Feels like I should’ve blocked him properly.”

“Could do it now.”

Ross nodded, looking down at his phone as another notification came through. He then watched as the phone was taken away and his chin was tilted upwards. Lips pressed together in a way that was rare. There was no sparking or hunger, just a soft glowing ember that was warm in a way that neither felt often - a feeling of comfort

They pulled away for a moment, Lisgoe looked as though he was waiting for a response

All Ross wanted was to feel comfort again. Hands cupped Lisgoe’s neck and pulled him on, enveloped in a warmth that was both completely unknown and strangely familiar

[drreidsconverse]

Love song.

Spencer Reid x reader

Summary: reader accidentally lets her secret hobby slip out, now spencer wants the reader to write him a love song.

(a/n): this is my first imagine! The reader is also a profiler, takes place around season three! Spencer is 25, reader is 24. I literally just named some of the artists that popped in my head.

Warnings: cursing and alcohol, but that’s it!

Saturday April 8th 11:31 pm: i’m releasing this to determine wether i want to keep writing for criminal minds or if people would be interested. life, school, sports, and work have been a lot the past two years, i’ve mostly been lurking rather than writing.

(Y/n)´s pov:

Saturday 12:13 am. “Okay okay, i get it! I know when my opinion isn’t wanted!” Derek laughed.

“Mm, okay. Would we all have been friends in high school?” Penelope asked with a smile. We were at a bar after a long case, and for once it felt like we were having a normal night out. My boyfriend, spencer, was sitting to the left of me and Emily was on my right. We had been at this bar for three hours now, I was on my fourth beer of the night, and some how we’d managed to convince Spencer to drink which was a rare occurrence.

“That is a tuff question penny.” Emily chuckled leaning forward in her chair. “Maybe.” I hummed, “i mean it kind of depends on when, how old, and who? There’s a chance I would’ve either talked to you or ignored you because I really didn’t talk to most people at school.” “ Honestly? Probably not not most of you. (Y/n) and Morgan maybe.” She smirked sending a wink to Derek and i. “Considering our friends were determined by social ranks, who you knew in middle school, and what classes you had? Probably not.” Rossi shrugged Finnishing off the last of his whiskey.

“Actually, school friends are mostly locational, if you didn’t live where you did would yours friends be the same?” Spencer piped up.

***

“What was...your job in college?” Hotch smiled leaning back in his chair. This was a game we played anytime we were really drinking we’d ask each other questions we wouldn’t during a normal work day, basically a drunken 20 questions. “Retail.” Almost everyone groaned reminiscing on what was probably their worst jobs ever. “Coding apps, also doing people’s homework for a pretty penny!” Garcia shouted over the music, which wasn’t that loud, i think. “I ghostwrote for a good bit of artists.” I mumbled what I thought was hardly a whisper. it wasn’t. “You did? Like who?” Jj chirped. Eh, gotta tell em’ sometime. I thought to myself. “Uh, you should’ve asked me this sober jj.” I snorted trying to think of names. “Sara bareilles, jojo, avril Lavigne, maroon 5, fall out boy..and that’s all I can come up with.” Everyone’s faces read ‘shocked’, but to me it wasn’t even that big of a deal. It was just music- my thoughts were interrupting by Penny and Emily dragging me and jj to the dance floor with the guys trailing behind us.

2:13 am Drunk, that was definitely the word for how I was feeling at the moment, attempting to get back to my seat with the rest of the team. Being buzzed wasn’t a feeling a endured often but i know a buzz when it hits and it had definitely hit. Spencer was swaying in his seat with the goofiest grin on his face. “Hey, did you know I love you?” He giggled wrapping his arms around my waist. “Yup!” I laughed wrapping my arms around his neck. “Awww, look at the love birds.” Morgan sang with a chorus of ‘awe’s’ flowing behind him. “Speak-ing of loveeee.. could you maybe write me a love song?” I laughed at how he accentuated certain words and sped the latter half of his sentence up. He was adorable sober or drunk, however drunk spencer a bit had more courage than sober spencer did and I loved it. “What was that, love? Couldn’t hear you!” I whispered in his ear hoping over the loud music my voice could be heard. “I said, could you maybe, you absolutely don’t have to if you don’t want to, write me a love song.” He was fiddling with his fingers in his lap a nervous tic of his. “Ask me when I sober baby!” I kissed his cheek smiling at him.

***

Monday 8:03 am. I still had a massive headache from Saturday and slept all of Sunday. Spencer brought me my coffee just how I liked with a sticky note attached in his hand writing that read: “hope your feeling better :)” thank you! I mouthed at him.

FIN

a/n: I believe for now that’s where i’m gonna end this one, this was the first fic i ever wrote oml. Idk how to finish but i’m always open to suggestions!

[fluffmonster31513]

BSD as more things said in my math class:

Kunikida: “After the break, I think half my braincells are dead.”

Tanizaki: ���Same.”

Atsushi: “Same.”

Kyouka: “Mood.”

Dazai: “#relatable”

-

Akutagawa: “Why didn’t they just make the graph correctly?”

-

Dazai: “That was actually such a sexy parabola.”

-

Kunikida: “I think that some things that you think in your mind should, like, stay there. For the greater good.”

-

Dazai, to Akutagawa: “Is that failure I smell?”

-

Louisa: *doing review* “This was literally 800 years ago and I don’t remember how to do any of this.”

-

Atsushi: “Yell at me if you want to, but I think it’s 9.”

-

Atsushi: “Hey, so we have to leave class in like, 20 minutes.”

Kunikida: *squawk*

Tanizaki: “…We didn’t tell you that, did we?”

-

Louisa: “It’s not on the test? I’ve been stressing about changed vertexes for the past 24 hours!”

-

Dazai: “Well, I can spell sarcasm correctly.”

Chuuya: “Shut the fuck up.”

-

Ranpo: “y=like 8 something, blah, blah, blah.”

-

Kunikida: *explaining quadratic equations* “What do we call this?”

Aya: “Quadratic relations.”

-

Gin: “Statistically, you’re gonna get stabbed when you go on the subway.”

Hirotsu: “That’s not how statistics work.”

Tachihara: “I get stabbed when I go on the subway.”

-

Ayatsuji: “Mm, I’m a genius. Tsujimura, get me the noble prize.” (that is not a typo)

-

Kenji: “Oh, I thought it was like, parabolas part 2.”

-

Tachihara: “That would be a really wide parabola. I’m so proud of myself for knowing that.”

-

Q: “That’s crazy bonkers.”

-

Ranpo: *explaining solution*

Cop, writing it down: “I-I can’t write fast enough.”

-

Kenji: “Maybe the real marks were the friends we made along the way.”

Atsushi, stressing: “Yeah, but those friends are also getting bad marks.”

-

M*ri: *explaining something*

Dazai: “So what’s the meaning of life?”

-

Poe: “I’m not gonna run, I’ll look stupid.”

-

Kunikida: “Who knew parabolas could inspire so much-“

Dazai: “Pain and suffering.”

-

Q: “We’re just little social pterodactyls.”

-

it doesn’t cleanly fit into a quote, but the projector wasn’t working, so my teacher started writing on the chalkboard and everyone got so hyped and wanted to write the equations on the chalkboard, and i think this has happened at least once in the ada.