#like I wouldn’t have met my bestest friend ever if it weren’t for him :> he’s associated with so much good I - augh

[laine-975]

I can’t wait any longer so have these two for right now !!!!

[baroquebucky]

comfort

bucky always found comfort in steve, but he’s gone now. who will he turn to for comfort now?

word count: 3.1k

masterlist

a/n: hi bffs !! thank you anon for requesting this <3 just angst and fluff (and endgame steve >:[) !! let me know what you guys think :] (srry for any typos)

“this is bucky!” steve smiled at you happily, you were Steve’s neighbor, always lending him a helping hand when he needed it and giving him emotional support and encouragement that would last him a life time.

“nice to finally meet you! I’ve heard lots ‘bout you” you smiled, sticking your hand out and bucky reluctantly shook it. “why don’t you guys come in for a bit? I’m making some pasta and i put way too much” you grinned, watching as bucky and steve looked at each other, having a whole conversation silently before Steve spoke up again.

“we’d love to” he grinned, pulling bucky inside your apartment with him before you closed the door. Bucky took in your apartment, it was somewhat messy, but it a nice way, a live in sort of way. You had plants all along your windowsill and a basket full on blankets near your couch, books along the shelf with a couple other things and pictures all over the place.

“hope you guys like chicken Alfredo” you smiled, checking the pasta before deciding it was good enough and scooping some out onto three plates

“bucky i have a serious question for you” you spoke as you set the three plates down on the dinner table, smiling at steve as he thanked you.

“oh, okay” bucky mumbled, shifting in his seat and heart racing. You were gonna ask him about his time as the winter soldier weren’t you? You were going to judge him for everything he’d done.

“what animal do you think you can take in a fight?” You spoke seriously, looking at him as you set his plate down.

That’s it? What animal he could fight?

“what?” He asked, confused as to why you were asking him this. Surely this was some test? Maybe it was code for something, if he answered a specific animal then it proved he was a good person.

Steve groaned as you asked the question and you scowled at him, hitting him softly as you passed by him and to the kitchen to get some water for the three on you.

“what animal do you think you could beat if it was just hand to hand combat?” You looked at him, studying his features and quickly taking in the fact that he was in fact the most breathtaking man on earth.

Bucky looked at steve who let out a sigh.

“you should answer now, she asked me that a couple days ago and we talked about it for almost an hour” steve smiled, reminiscing on the way you even made him coffee so he could stay until the end of your discussion.

“uh, i mean, well i guess I’m a super soldier so- i don’t know i don’t wanna fight any of them” he spoke warily, looking at you nervously and watching the way you narrowed your eyes at him before your face softened, breaking into a wide smile and nodding your head proudly.

“James barnes i think you and i are going to get along just fine” you smiled, taking in the way his eyes lit up just a tad at your words.

Steve smiled at the way bucky sat a little straighter, loosening up a bit and warming up to you little by little. He wanted him to have someone to turn to, he wanted him to have you like steve did, someone he knew he could always rely on.

After the whole Blip went down and everything was back to normal bucky found himself lost at times, wandering the streets in seek of comfort. He was left alone in the world with nothing left from his old life.

Steve had only been gone for a couple of days and he already felt horrible. He had no one to turn to, no one to lean on. He was alone.

He tried finding solace in sleep, wishing that his mind would whisk him away to be happy in his dreams. His attempts were fruitless, all he managed to do was toss and turn, his mind racing and never relaxing enough to fully sleep.

The small moments he did manage to sleep he awake in a cold sweat, nightmares plaguing his mind, his memories rushing to him alongside the pain and thoughts that has recently set in after steve left.

Bucky sat on couch of his apartment, it was silent as the sounds of the city were muffled through the walls, rain gently hitting his windows. He so badly wanted to just break down and cry, to have someone tell him everything would be okay, to comfort him and remind him that he wasn’t alone even with steve gone.

Bucky scrolled through his contacts, vision blurred with tears as he searched helplessly for someone he could go to. As he scrolled through his contacts he found you, when had he put it there?

He clicked on your name and sure enough, there was a picture of you smiling brightly with steve, a note written under your contact information.

buck, y/n helped me get through everything, theyre sweet and caring and kind, please talk to them if you ever need anyone i promise you they can help - steve

Bucky let out a shaky breath as he read the note steve had left. When did he even get ahold of his phone? Buckys mind was racing, he wiped his tears and locked his phone. He would be fine, he didn’t need anyone to help him.

As the day progressed bucky felt the pain in his chest growing with each breath, tears threatening to spill out any moment. He was frustrated that the feelings wouldn’t just go away, it was persistent and nagging at him every minute of the day as he tried to push it away.

Maybe if i take a walk it’ll clear my mind, bucky reasoned, throwing on a jacket and heading out, there was only a very light drizzle as he walked aimlessly, trying everything to get his mind off the emptiness he felt in his heart.

Was he not good enough for him to stay? Was everything bucky had done, too much for steve? Why would he leave him so abruptly? After everything he just left him with no hesitation.

Bucky tried to shake away the thoughts but they grew louder and louder, tears stinging at his eyes and he decided he’d had enough.

Bucky stopped in his tracks, taking note of where he was and recalling the path he and steve had taken the first time they visited you, he let his mind wander, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it.

By the time he reached your apartment he wanted to turn around and leave. Did you even live here still? We’re you even home? It wasn’t a good idea, he should deal with it by himself.

Bucky was about to turn to leave when you opened the door, dressed up with bright red lipstick on. Oh wow you were stunning, bucky thought as he turned around to face you.

“bucky?” You asked, looking at the man before smiling widely, “bucky! oh wow hi!” You grinned, not hesitating to pull him in for a hug and squeezing him tightly. As you pulled away you noticed his red eyes and the frown on his face. Your smile quickly disappeared when you saw the way he tried to hide the tear stains, looking down at his shoes.

“oh james what’s wrong?” You spoke softly, grabbing his wrist gently and pulling him into your apartment, he looked up quickly. It was still the same, it was just as homey as he remembered it.

You led him to the couch, quickly bringing over the basket of blankets and letting him choose whichever one he wanted, smiling as he picked the fuzziest of them all.

“good choice” you softly spoke, grabbing a blanket for yourself and setting it on the couch next to him.

“do you want anything to drink, i have coffee, hot chocolate, water and maybe some apple juice” you smile fondly at the man on your couch and he thought for a second before replying.

“can- do you think i can have a hot chocolate” he spoke softly, “please” the tone of his voice made your heart clench and you wanted to just hold him, but you knew he didn’t need that just yet, so you just nodded and made his hot chocolate as fast as you could, adding whipped cream and marshmallows and placing it on the table in front of him.

“added extra whipped cream for you” you smiled, slipping your heels off and grabbing your phone, “I’m gonna get changed and I’ll be back out in a second, make yourself at home buck” your smile was warm and sincere and he already found the emptiness fading.

“i have to cancel today I’m really sorry” bucky heard, his super hearing picking up on the conversation you were having. “something came up” your voice was calm. “no i cant just ignore it” your tone shifted, leaning towards annoyance as you continued.

“excuse me for caring about someone other than myself!” You spoke dryly, changing out of your dress and into some sweats and an oversized t shirt. “you know what i think, i think it would be better if you deleted my number and forgot about me actually! i think that’d be great” your voice was cold as you hung up, letting out a sigh before smiling slightly, thank god you didn’t have go through with that date.

As you walked out you noticed bucky getting up, heading towards the door.

“leaving so soon? you barely touched your hot chocolate” you frowned, your voice making bucky turn to look at you, his words died on his tongue when he noticed you were changed.

“you have a date” was all he said and you smiled, shaking your head and pulling him back to the couch with you.

“had” you corrected him, “cancelled on ‘em, didn’t really wanna go” you scrunched your face up as you spoke, sipping some of your hot chocolate before looking at bucky softly.

“got better things to do” you stated, watching the way he slowly warmed up to you, moving his body to face you.

“like what?” He whispered, looking down at the blanket in his lap as he let it lightly.

“like make my bestest friend in the whole world feel better” you answered, not missing a beat as you spoke, looking at him.

Bucky swore his heart was going to beat out of his chest. Never in a million years did he think someone he met a total of three times not so long ago could bring him so much warmth, so much comfort. He didn’t bother hiding the blush on his face, he knew you wouldn’t tease him about it, you were more focused on making him feel better.

“what’s eating at you buck?” You prodded him gently, watching his body language closely for any signs of discomfort. He looked at you before focusing on his hot chocolate, picking it up and taking a small sip.

“good hot chocolate” he mumbled, taking another sip and you smiled, nodding your head silently. Bucky set the mug down again, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. “it’s just-” he began, cutting himself off before he could continue.

“he didn’t say goodbye to you, did he?” His eyes were whirlpools of emotions. You gave him a sad smile, shaking your head.

“no, not really” you spoke, “he kind of hinted at what he was gonna do y’know? didn’t wanna say it out loud so we kind of, i guess just didn’t wanna say it” you mumbled, “made it too real” you smiled at him again, not wanting to make his mood any worse.

“don’t you- how are you so okay with it? I mean it’s just- don’t you feel like if you did more he wouldn’t have left?” Bucky asked, desperation in his eyes.

Everything clicked in your mind instantly. Your stomach fell and your heart broke in your chest, Bucky’s sad eyes and slumped shoulders told you everything you had to know. The way he couldn’t even keep eye contact with you for longer than three seconds, how he fumbled with something when he spoke. You wiped the frown of your face before giving him a reassuring smile, scooting closer to him.

“sometimes i do” you nodded, picking at some fuzz on your blanket, “i do find myself wondering if i had given him different advice throughout the time i knew him if he would’ve made a different choice” you spoke softly, bucky looked at you, watching the way your lips poured slightly.

“I’ll think ‘maybe if i had asked him to stay for dinner one more time’ or if i made him more hot chocolate” you chuckled softly, bucky smiled at your words, sadness filling his chest as he realized how hurt you must be.

“you shouldn’t blame yourself y/n, you did your best” he whispered, clearing his throat before continuing, “i mean you brought him so much comfort and helped him through so much, in the end it was his choice and that’s not on you” he finished, hands shaking slightly. Bucky was silent as you nodded.

“listen to yourself buck” you smiled, placing a hand on his, “it’s not your fault, you did your best, you meant so much to him and you always will” you assured him, squeezing his hand in yours. Bucky was quiet as you gave him soft smiles.

“I didn’t mean me-” he began but you shook your head.

“you were his best friend for his whole life, he talked about you all the time, spent years looking for you to get you back” bucky let out a shaky breath. “You were good enough, you are good enough james.”

The firmness in your voice made bucky look up, your eyes were set and serious. Bucky tried to find any trace of lies, but your words were sincere and settled in his bones like a warm fireplace.

“it’s just- i wish-” his voice cracked and his bottom lip quivered, tears stinging his eyes. He was embarrassed, moving to wipe his tear quickly.

You beat him to it, your hand caressing his cheek and softly wiping away at the tears. You moved you hand to the back of his neck and softly pulled him into you, shaking your arms around him as best you could.

Bucky cried into your shoulder, mumbling incoherent sentences as sobs racked his body. You help him tightly, rubbing his back soothingly and whispering to him it would be okay.

“you’re okay, i got you” you whispered, “I’m here let it out sweets, it’s okay.”

Bucky knew he should feel embarrassed for crying like this, in front of you, someone he barely knew. Your words were too comforting to let him and your presence far too warm to even let him consider leaving you at this moment in time.

You didn’t mind one bit that bucky was crying into your favorite t shirt, you held him tighter, giving him all the time he needed to calm down.

By the time Bucky’s cries had softened to soft hiccups he pulled away from you, eyes red and cheeks tear stained. His nose was pink and he sniffled softly, using the back of his hands to run his eyes.

You silently handed him some tissues, softly letting him know where the bathroom is. He smiled at you softly, getting up from the couch and heading to your restroom. You sat in silence as you waited for bucky to come back, sighing softly to yourself. You closed your eyes for a second, blinking away a couple tears and getting snacks from your pantry, putting on your comfort show and switching to the pilot episode.

Bucky washed his face with cold water, smiling at the fact that your bathroom smelled like eucalyptus. His dried his face and washed his hands, letting out a shaky sigh before looking at himself in the mirror, frowning at how broken he looked. He tore his gaze away and turned off the lights, walking out and seeing you sitting on the couch cross legged.

You smiled up at bucky, patting the seat next to you and moving so he could sit. The couch dipped a little as he sat down, grabbing the blanket and bundling it in his lap.

“when I’m upset i watch this show, it always cheers me up” you spoke to him gently, “that is if you aren’t leaving, i don’t wanna hold you hostage or anything” you chuckled and bucky smiled at you, laughing softly.

“no i- do you think i can stay a bit longer?” He asked and you nodded, linking your arms together and pulling each other closer.

“you can stay for however long you want” bucky felt his heart grow in his chest, how could you be so warm and welcoming to him? He didn’t question it for long though, your dazzling smile and sparkling eyes cleared his mind.

“ready?” You smiled and he nodded, watching as you hurried to press play, adjusting the volume and grinning as the show began.

Bucky couldn’t help but steal glances at you, smiling at how you mouthed the lines, offering him snacks if he hadn’t touched them in a while, constantly making sure he was okay.

Relaxation. He finally felt relaxed, his jaw was unclenched and his brows were furrowed, he had a small smile on his face. His muscles were relaxed as the showed played on your tv, your body heat radiating onto Buckys side.

You looked up to comment on something in the show but quickly stopped when you realized bucky had fallen asleep. His eyes were closed and he just looked so soft.

You smiled as you looked at him, moving some pillows quietly so you wouldn’t wake him. You helped him lay down and set the blanket on top of him, telling him to go back to sleep when he stirred slightly. For the first time since steve had left Buckys slept peacefully. He found comfort and assurance with you.

Steve was always looking out for bucky, always saying that he had to pay him back for all those fights bucky saved him from in the 40’s. Steve helped him get out of hydra, helped him get his mind back.

Bucky smiled at you as you pet alpine in your lap, dozing off as you struggled to stay awake before finally giving into sleep. He picked you up swiftly, tucking you into bed like you had done with him nearly a year ago. He kissed your forehead gently before sliding into bed next to you, falling asleep quickly with you by his side.

Now even after he was gone, he was helping him heal. And for that, he was forever grateful.

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half-Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Part 2!

Part 1 Lessons 1-5 Lessons 5-6 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

Okay, They’re Your Cousins but You’re Not Sure How They’re Related to You...

(Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, and Luke)

(It’s mostly Luke)

Barbs likes smol Lucifer. Smol Lucifer likes Barbs. They bake together with Luke. MC nearly set the kitchen on fire. MC needed to learn to cook.

MC is forever delegated to mixing duty because they refuse to admit that they don’t know how to work the oven.

Simeon is the one telling MC embarrassing stories about Lucifer and the rest of the Student Council from when they were all angels. Lucifer never hated Simeon more than when he found out that Simeon told MC about how hard Lucifer cried when he got to hold baby Mammon for the first time. MC was sworn to secrecy.

Well... sworn to secrecy, but if Uncle Mammon just happened to find out through a series of coincidences it wouldn’t be MC’s fault, right?

Simeon also tried to help teach MC to fly... but he kept distracting them with stories about Lucifer and Michael learning to fly.

“So my father was even WORSE than he told me he was?!”

“Yes, he actually challenged Michael and Raphael to a race at one point. Lucifer ended up slamming directly into a wall because he didn’t know how to stop.”

“SIMEON!”

Solomon was absolutely fascinated with MC. How did their half demon half human nature affect their reaction to certain spells and potions? Do half demons have more or less magical strength than normal demons? Can half demons make pacts with humans? Wait- Lucifer why are you taking MC away they were talking- Lucifer!

Immortal troll needs to troll. MC is the unwitting victim of many of Solomon’s shenanigans.

“Why must I speak in rhymes?! This is the end of times!”

“MC, just stop talking.”

“Father, I don’t mean to be a bother but-”

“So the rhyming spell works the same on half demons... interesting...”

“Solomon...”

“I’m leaving, Lucifer. I’m leaving!”

Aw! Two kids in the Devildom! They were fast friends. Sure, Luke was a little annoying and MC was a bit of a dick, but their mutual smallness and desire to impress their parental figures brought them together.

“Michael’s just so cool and amazing! The way he flies, the way he commands everyone... I want to be just like him someday!”

“Is that why you’re making a cake?”

“Michael has a sweet tooth, and I want to impress him.”

“I wonder if Lucifer likes sweets...”

“Why would you want to give HIM sweets?”

MC just gave Luke a toothy grin and started making the dough for the cake.

Remember back in Lucifer’s section where I said MC would keep their lineage a secret to freak people out? Yeah... they kept it from Luke. At first it was a joke! They were going to tell him! They just uh... it got really awkward. They planned on revealing it to Luke right after they learned how to properly fly so they could swoop in, pick their angel buddy up and zip the two of them to school. It’d freak Luke out at first, but it was meant to be funny! MC would have even sung the song from Aladdin! It um... didn’t turn out that way.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” MC growled at the lesser demons that were crowding Luke.

“O-oh... uh... nuh-nothing...” a few of the demons backed off, mumbling a few harried apologies to MC as they scurried away. The remaining demons seemed a tad more... hmm... they say there’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

“M-MC! You can’t fight demons! I’m an angel I-I c-can...” Luke sniffled, but tried his best to step in front of MC.

“Oh please, the little half-breed and the lowest ranked angel are going to put up a fight?” One of the demons jeered, a few of the remaining demons joined in.

MC’s eyes narrowed, their glare as cold as the worst winter storm. “I’m going to tell you once, and once only,”

Their wings sprouted from their back, horns now fully grown and on display, teeth sharper and glistening in the light. Hm, it seemed half demons could make their eyes glow too, how delightful.

MC gave the other demons a sweet smile, it would have been comforting if it weren’t for the amount of teeth they were showing off. They lazily placed their hand on Luke’s head and lightly moved him out of the way.

“Leave, or I will make you regret ever crossing us exchange students.” MC’s carefree smile couldn’t mask the malice that coated every single word that left their lips. “Run along now, you’re not needed here.”

The demon that had started the taunts stiffened, he looked from MC, to Luke, to the other demons, before scoffing and shaking his head. “Whatever, the two of them aren’t worth it anyway...”

When the offending demons weren’t leaving fast enough for MC’s liking, they snapped their fingers and shot a fireball right behind the fleeing demons’ feet. They cleared out pretty quickly after that.

“Luke?” MC turned to look at their friend. “Are you...”

Luke was backing away. That look in his eyes, he was... scared. Scared of MC...

“Y-you’re a d-demon?” He whimpered, taking another step back.

“Half demon, actually.” MC let their demonic elements disappear. “I meant to tell you, I really did! It just was never the right time-”

“You lied to me! You said you were human! But you’re a demon like the rest of them!” Luke shouted, he wiped at his eye with his sleeve and sniffled. “I tried to help you, but you just..! I thought you were my friend!”

“Luke- hang on!” MC took a few steps forward, but Luke was already running away. MC felt something twist in their gut, something awful. That ball of innate pride twisted and practically screamed, filling MC’s head.

“He’s not worth it!”

“You’re above him anyway...”

“If he can’t understand how perfect you are, he doesn’t deserve your kindness.”

“Don’t grovel for his forgiveness. He’s beneath you.”

“Your help was rejected. Let him hate you. You’re the child of one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom, who is he to make you upset?”

The thoughts filled MC’s head as they desperately tried to shut them up. They were their father’s child, their pride wouldn’t be easily combated.

“Just be quiet!” MC clawed at their head.

“You’re better than this. You’re better than this. You’re better than this-”

“Luke!” MC called out again. “I’m sorry!”

It truly was a shame that their friend didn’t understand how much an apology from MC really meant.

They guessed Luke was right, wasn’t he? Demons were nasty awful liars. MC was no different...

That hurt.

Lucifer noticed his kid was moping around, not even Detective Toe Beans could cheer them up. Mammon even came home covered in mud from a failed money-making scheme and it didn’t even make MC crack a smile! He needed to get to the bottom of this.

Upon hearing the reason for his child’s woes, he was fully ready to break down the door of Purgatory Hall and throttle the little chihuahua, but Lucifer came to his senses and realized that MC probably didn’t want that.

He teamed up with Simeon and Solomon the things he did for MC... And managed to get both Luke and MC to the Demon Lord’s Castle to hang out with Barbatos.

It didn’t take a genius to realize that Luke missed his friend too. Sure they called him a chihuahua sometimes, but they were still the bestest friend he had made during his time in the exchange program... maybe ever...

Maybe... just maybe... he overreacted. MC did protect him after all, and they never tried to hurt him...

Barbatos was fully ready to fulfill his role as Luke’s second dad and help his angel-son make up with his friend.

It may have been awkward at first, but the two had to join forces to stop Solomon from getting within a hundred metres of the kitchen. Nothing brings two people back together more than fear for your tastebuds.

Mission success. Lucifer could relax knowing that his kid and the chihuahua were back to being friends. Maybe MC could convince Luke to quiet his infernal yapping... Lucifer was trying to work here!

For some extra fluff, after many days of asking and asking, Lucifer and Simeon agree to take Luke and MC up to the human world for Halloween. They got to go trick or treating, and everyone complimented MC and Luke on their ‘costumes’.

*insert sitcom laugh track here*

Sure, it may have been a little immoral for MC to use their powers to manipulate the humans into giving Luke and MC more candy but... candy...

Oh shit would you look at the time- they had to get back to the Devildom for Diavolo’s birthday party- MC STOP WITH THE CHOCOLATE! THE SIGN SAYS TAKE ONE! DON’T BE LIKE MAMMON.

The exchange year had been a success. Well... sort of. MC wasn’t exactly the average Joe human the Student Council expected, which is why after a lengthy break where MC went back to the human world to visit their other parent and human friends, the seven rulers of Hell (+MC) were sitting and waiting for the new exchange students to arrive.

Unlike the previous year, the entire student council was present. That included Levi who they had to physically drag there, Belphie who was carried there and had to be placed in his seat because he was completely passed out, and finally Mammon, he just had to be threatened.

“Father,” MC pouted from their seat next to Lucifer. “Why isn’t my chair as big as yours?”

Lucifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Because you’re much shorter than me. You can have a bigger chair when you grow a few more inches.”

“Mmm...” MC murmured, crossing their arms. “Are the students going to get here, or what?”

“Can you be patient?” Lucifer asked. “They’ll be here any moment now. I can trust that you’ll behave, right?”

MC looked scandalized, placing a hand over their heart and gasping. “Father! Of course! I’ll be the most polite person these humans have ever met!”

Not so deep down, Lucifer severely doubted that.

“Come now, Lucifer and MC!” Diavolo said from his elevated seat. “It’s almost eight am!”

Right on schedule the portal opened, two sets of screams followed.

“The next big priority should be making the trip more comfortable.” MC huffed. “It’s demeaning getting dropped straight down like that and just slamming into the floor.”

“Hm.” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Perhaps instead we can just teleport them up to the Celestial Realm, start a war, and have them crash through not one, not two, but all three barriers between the realms with no portal.”

“Father...” MC matched Lucifer’s eye roll. “That has the same energy as ‘when I was your age I walked to school 100 miles through a blizzard!’ The polite thing to do for the exchange students is to not let them hit the floor at 100 mph and possibly give them a concussion.”

And slam straight onto the floor the two other exchange students did. Well, one of them slammed right into the marble, the other had tried in vain to use their wings to slow their decent or fly back up.

Wait...

WINGS?!

WAIT THE OTHER HAD HORNS?!

THEY BOTH HAD-

Oh and would you look at that... one looked like... and the other looked like-

Shitballs.

Lucifer had to keep himself from actually shouting in frustration. One normal day... one day of no exchange student issues was all he asked for...

“Out of over ten million candidates out of over eight billion humans...” Lucifer grumbled. “How in my father’s name did this happen again?”

(OOOOOOOOOO SEQUEL BAIT!)

[prfctethereal]

bloodline. | james potter

thank u, next x marauders

alexa, play bloodline by ariana grande

pairing: james potter x reader (fake dating au)

summary: after lily breaks up with james, you offer to pretend to be lily over the christmas holidays

word count: 10k (i deeply apologise)

warnings: language, mentions of food and eating, sexual jokes and innuendos (nothing explicit or smut), a whole lotta angst but a whole lotta fluff

a/n: a can't believe i wrote so much for this man. anyway, this is probably my favourite thing i’ve ever written to enjoy - Kennedy

***

The common room was a ghostly quiet, but that was expected at this time of year. Tinsel decorated the mantelpiece by the fireplace, the smell of nutmeg and cinnamon wafting through the air. In the corner, a large, oak tree sat, it’s leaves standing tall and proud, juxtaposing against the scarlet walls. Christmas was the reason for this tranquil atmosphere.

Except, that wasn’t the case for everyone. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be going home for the holidays this year, opting to stay at Hogwarts to get in more study time. It felt like nearly all students were going away this year and the ever growing loneliness was catching up to you, weighing your mind down, a foggy haze resting over your eyesight.

You turned your head, looking up at the clock on the wall. It was nearly one in the morning, which meant that there were usually more students in the common room. The train was leaving back to London tomorrow - well, today - so you assumed that they would all be getting some rest. The only sound that filled the common room was the fire crackling and some light whimpering.

Light whimpering?

That definitely caught your attention. Straightening yourself up on the chair, your eyes scanned the dim room, searching for the source of the noise. It was quiet, but prominent, and it definitely sounded like someone crying. The sniffling painted a picture in your mind of someone’s broken face, eyes red and puffy.

There was something wrong though. Your intuition was getting the better of you. You recognised that voice, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it. Sure, you had friends, but you weren’t close to anyone, close enough to know what they sounded like when you cried.

By now, the crying was loud enough to attract the attention of anyone that would pass by. Your book, laid forgotten on your lap, was brushed aside, as you sat up, ready to find the source of the crying. There weren’t many places to hide in the common room, so it struck you as odd that you couldn’t see anyone.

Following the whines, you crept to the corner of the room, where the cries never stopped and seemingly carried on through the wall. A smile stretched across your face, a mystery forming in your head. Pressing your palms against the wall, your tenacious fingers searched the wallpaper for anything, small incisions, lumps, maybe a door handle. In the lack of light, you didn’t notice the small hole in the wall, letting your finger slip through the wallpaper. Curling around your knuckle, you tugged slightly, opening the secret door you had just found in the wall.

Letting the light slip into the tunnel, you noticed the figure curled up in a ball. His suave messy hair, paired with the thin, round glasses on the ground gave away that it was James Potter who was crying in a secret tunnel at one in the morning.

Your heart broke in an instant. James was actually a very close friend, having helped him and his marauders out multiple times on their pranks and overall mischief. You had met James in the first year and you were the bestest friend he had outside the marauders; he had told you multiple times. Many times you had laid together in the common room, shoulders touching, staring up at the ceiling, enjoying each other’s presence. It was comforting. He was comforting.

But right now, he needed comfort.

A lone piece of parchment was peeking out of his arms, which you carefully plucked away, not focusing on the ink scratched in. Soothing his shaking muscles, you ran your hands up his arms, him immediately calming down at your touch. When you felt like he was feeling better, you reached down, sitting against the wall next to him, placing your arm around his quivering figure. Your fingers found his lonely glasses on the ground, bringing them up to his face, trying to coax his hands away from his reddening cheeks.

The moment you met his eyes, you could feel his pain. His normally bright, cheerful eyes were filled with salty tears, staining his freckle-covered cheek in a sheen of sadness. It was the envisionment of pure anguish.

“Jamesie,” you started, voice quiet as to not shock the obviously patronised boy, quivering next to you, “can you tell me what’s wrong? I want to help you, love.”

“It’s-” He sniffed, voice croaky, “Lily. It’s Lily.” He struggled to keep his gaze on your face, opting to look at his fiddling fingers in this lap. “She broke up with me. A few hours ago.”

Your heart failed. Lily broke up with James? But they were perfect together. For the past two years, it was always James and Lily, Lily and James, high school sweethearts. They were so happy, so why would she end it?

The sadness creeping up inside of you soon turned to wrath, a fire burning wildly in your chest. Red clouded your vision as you felt your fist curl up in anger, fingernails digging into your skin. You only stopped when you felt James’ hand resting on yours.

“Why?” You asked. It was a dumb question, but it was the only thing that came to mind, wanting to keep the attention off of your growing asperity.

“Dunno,” James shrugged, turning back towards his corner. “She said that she wanted to take a break. Had no idea why though. Thought everything was going swimmingly.” His voice was laced with sarcasm, a nice contrast to his tearful expression.

“What a bitch, right before Christmas.” The words fell out of your mouth without you registering it, your eyes scanning the room as you chew thoughtfully on your bottom lip. You didn’t know how James' face grimaced at the mention of Christmas, a pink tint growing on his face, but not from the tears.

Turning around, you saw James with his head in his hands, an excreted groan vibrating from his vocal chords. “Fuck!” He swore, “She was supposed to be coming to meet my parents this Christmas. Now, I have to owl Mum to tell her that’s she’s not coming, oh no-”

He paused, rubbing his eyes together. “This is going to ruin Christmas. Mum and Dad are going to be fretting over me all Christmas. I wish she could’ve just waited until after the holidays.”

It really did seem like James was in a predicament. You had never met Euphemia or Fleamont Potter, but you did know that they were described to be some of the most lovely people to be blessed on this Earth. Even through your tight friendship, you hadn’t met them yet.

Then, another problem rushed through your mind. Lily was now going to be staying at Hogwarts during the holidays, and your blood was boiling. It was going to be difficult to stay in the same room as her without lashing out in defence of James.

“I don’t want to have to deal with Lily for a whole week.” You muttered under your breath, unaware that James was hanging onto every word you said.

“You’re not going away over the holidays?” James asked, eyebrows furrowed together as he scanned your face for any insight. Sighing, you shook your head in response.

“Nah, normally stay.” You pondered for a moment. “Do you think that Lily is gonna be unbearable over Christmas? I might as well just stay in the Room of Requirement all Christmas.”

Then, a thought came to your head. It was almost genius, a bright light twinkling in your eye, your mouth slightly agape. You sucked in a small breath, watching as James eyed you curiously, before a slim smile stretched across your face.

“I have an idea James, but please, I want you to stop me at any point if you feel uncomfortable with this. You are grieving in a way and I don’t want to undermine that. Promise me you’ll shut me down if you don’t like it, okay?” You noted that his head nodded up and down, letting you continue.

“What if I pretend to be Lily? Your parents have never met her before, right? Or me, for a matter of fact. I can come to yours for the holidays and pretend to be Lily to keep the Christmas cheer. When the week is up, we can stop fake dating and you can send a letter to your parents a few weeks later saying that Lily broke up with you. Christmas saved, no pestering parents, and I don’t have to spend a week with the insufferable Lily.”

There was a silence that followed, James gawking at the ground as his mind churned over what you had just said. Then, he spoke.

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“If that’s okay with you. I mean, it’s just fake dating, right? For like a week? Are you okay with that?”

You exhaled a deep sigh of release, followed by a hearty chuckle. “Of course I’m okay with it. I suggested it, remember? And besides, we’re friends. Best friends, if anything. Everything will be fine.”

“What about Sirius and Remus? They’re staying over the holidays too. Are you sure they can keep the secret? That, you know, you’re not actually Lily Evans. You’re Y/N L/N.”

“Yeah, I think they can.”

***

“We can’t keep that secret.”

You and James and just explained what the plan was. It was the morning of December 21st, a fresh layer of snow had just been laid on the ground. Wrapped carefully in many layers, students of Hogwarts had bundled up into the crimson train, ready to go back to London for a week.

After explaining to Professor McGonagall that last minute plans meant you could go away in the holidays, she had let you onto the train, where the four of you sat in a carriage, laying out the details of you and James’ awkward plan to fake date for the Christmas holidays.

Sirius had found the whole prospect of the situation immensely funny and had been laughing ever since you told him. Remus - the more serious one of the two, ironically - wasn’t too keen on the idea, a look of disappointment plastered on his face like an angry parent.

“You can’t just lie to Euphemia and Fleamont. They’re your parents, James. Surely they’ll know you’re lying?”

“That’s the brilliant thing!” James had surely brightened up overnight. After talking for a bit, you helped James into bed, hoping that a good night sleep would change his mood slightly. Unexpectedly, his mood changed more than slightly; almost drastically. He was cheerful, his teeth glowing in the daybreak sun, enthusiastic talks from across the common room. It was a rather stark constraint from the glum Lily Evans who was moping around, as if she was the one who got dumped only the night before. “They’ll never know! They haven’t met Lily, nor Y/N! Sure, they’ve heard about both, but they won’t connect the dots.”

Anxiously, Remus looked at Sirius for guidance, except Sirius hadn’t stopped laughing, glistening tears of joy beading at his waterline, a hand clamped over his chest. You rolled your eyes at his tomfoolery, focusing your attention on the still uncertain lycanthrope.

“Remus, please?” You begged, pouting your lips. “It’s just one week. Please just lie for one week.”

It seemed as if his brain was clicking into place because after a moment, a smile replaced with frown, with him sticking his hand out. Eagerly shaking it in agreement, your mood lightened significantly.

The rest of the train ride, you went over everything that you needed to know about James and Lily’s relationship, if it came up. Firstly, they got together in February of year five, 1976. You fake barfed at the fact that their relationship sprouted from Valentine’s day, an opinion that the others giggled at. Secondly, James had told his parents that Lily was a muggleborn, so you would probably get bombarded with questions about muggles. You didn’t mind though; you were muggleborn yourself.

Next, you had to make some rules to keep boundaries between James and yourself. First, let James answer questions about the relationship, while you have to make notes and remember. Second, only refer to you as Lily in communal spaces, as Euphemia or Fleamont could appear at any moment. Three, physical affection is fine, almost encouraged, but no kissing on the lips.

As everything was settled, the train pulled into King’s Cross Station, the horn blasting through, grabbing the attention of the energetic students, ready to stretch their legs. Nervously, you kept still in your seat, an anxious stomach ache coming on. You felt sweat beading at your forehead as you finally realised how nervous you actually were.

James took note of this though, grabbing your hand and rubbing the back of it soothingly, calming your tense nerves. It seemed impossible, this task at hand looming over you, but you had to keep calm. You knew you could; in all honesty, you didn’t know why you were feeling so worried all of a sudden. Giving in, you took James’ hand and followed the three boys out onto the platform.

You followed the gaze of the three of them before your eyes landed on an older looking couple. A lady was standing there, dark brown hair pulled tightly into a ponytail, streaks of grey peaking through. Harsh smile lines protruded through her skin, a warm and inviting look on her face. Next to her, a taller looking man stood proudly next to what you assumed to be his wife. His feathery hair was combed back and the same round glasses as James sat comfortably on his peaky nose. You could only assume that this was Euphemia and Fleamont Potter.

Walking over, you stayed quiet as James greeted his parents first, pulling them into a tight hug. Immediately, you noticed how much of a mummy’s boy James was when you saw him unconsciously seeking comfort from his mother. It hurt to see him not being able to get what he needed in the moment. You looked away, afraid that you might’ve started to cry if you continued looking for any longer.

Fleamont greeted Remus and Sirius like they were his own sons, engulfing them in a hearty hug, lovingly slapping them on their backs. You watched as the affection oozed from James’ parents, a warm feeling growing in your chest. It was admiration.

Then, you felt a tug on your sleeve, looking back to see James’ trying to grab your attention. Giving him an inquisitive look, you noticed Euphemia, arms open, a beaming smile on her face.

“You must be Lily. Come in, dear.” It felt wrong as you dove into her arms, letting her motherly love wash over you like a tidal wave. Pulling apart, you felt the guilt twang in your chest, the name of Lily echoing in your mind.

That wasn’t you.

But you continued to smile. You smiled through your greetings with Fleamont. You smiled through the light banter they shared with James’ friends. You smiled through the small talk. You smiled through aparating to the Potter’s house.

As you stepped through the front door, you were greeted with an adorning archway, the walls endlessly covered with family photos. Everything about the house was inviting. A lingering smell of fresh baking settled in the house, as the light from the window perfectly captured the chandelier, a thousand rainbows dancing around the room.

As you stepped into the entrance way, you watched as Euphemia gestured the four of you up the staircase, down a hallway littered with doors. She stopped at a room, a sign with ‘Sirius’ on it, labelling you it belonged to. You beamed, remembering how this was now Sirius’ new home.

“I hope you don’t mind Remus bunking with you Sirius. I pulled out a spare mattress.” Euphemia addressed the two boys, who eagerly piled into the bedroom, grinning like a kid in a candy store.

“You too, this way.” You looked over to James, but his face was contorted into something unreadable, only smiling when he noticed your staring, giving a reassuring squeeze of your hand. You brushed it off though, your mind blurred by the thought of following Euphemia.

“Here’s James’ room,” Euphemia stopped in front of a door that was decorated by a Gryffindor flag. “Make yourself at home, sweetheart. I hope you’re still okay with sharing the bed? James said that was fine in our last letter.”

You inhaled tightly through your nose, clenching your jaw. You looked back at James, whose face was once again turning a bright red, his lips slightly parted as stutters started to spill out. “Well- I- actually-”

“Sounds great, Euphemia. Thank you so much for your hospitality.” Impatient to leave the awkward situation, you gestured to James to enter his bedroom, trailing in behind you, keeping a faux smile on your face, up until the door closed behind you.

In an instant, apology after apology spluttered from James, trying to explain. You were vaguely listening, although you were more focused on the room around you. You liked the detail and the Gryffindor pride. Moving posters of different Quidditch players lined the walls, covering the red and white wallpaper. In a corner, a pile of muggle vinyls were stacked together, tied together by a pink ribbon, which you could only assume was gifted by Lily. The room was surprisingly tidy, different to the state of James’ dorms back in Hogwarts.

“I like your room.” You finally spoke, dragging a finger across a chest of drawers. A thin layer of dust rested on the pad of your finger, which you rubbed off on your skirt before turning back to the panicked boy before you.

“Did you hear anything I said?”

“Don’t worry about it, James.” You comforted him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You forgot; that’s okay! I honestly don’t mind. It’s sort of what I signed up for anyway.” You laughed, hoping James would join in. He did.

***

Dinner went alright. You stayed quiet most of the time, only speaking when spoken to. You didn’t think Euphemia or Fleamont noticed, but you did get a peculiar look from Sirius, seemingly smirking at the way James and your seats were placed so close together.

After excusing yourself from the dinner table, you helped out in the kitchen with Fleamont, drying the dishes and putting them away in the cupboards. You were lost in your own thoughts, drifting off, keeping a smooth rhythm as you stacked plates.

“Lily, can you pass me the soap dispenser please?” You almost didn’t register what he was saying, a muted hum escaping your lips, until you realised you were being addressed. After apologising profusely for your tardiness, you handled the soap bottle to Mr Potter and carried on, hoping he wouldn’t start a conversation.

He did anyway.

“How’s James been treating you?” Fleamont quipped, a sly grin on his face. You knew what he was implying and shook it off, trying to keep the conversation as ambiguous as possible.

“Good. He’s been good.” He didn’t seem to buy it. “Lovely as always.” You gulped discreetly, disguising your nervousness as a yawn, which wasn’t missed by Fleamont.

“My dear, you look tired. You better retire for the night.” Nodding and saying your goodnights, you trod up the stairs, into the bedroom, where you were met by James, where only pajama shorts, reading Quidditch Through The Ages on his bed. You smiled, knowing that it was one of his favourites. He looked up when he saw you enter, smiling sheepishly, pointing towards the ensuite door.

“You can get changed in there, love.” Humming in agreement, you took a spare change of clothes into the bathroom and quickly returned, having brushed your teeth and washed your face as well. It wasn’t that late, but you felt inordinately tired, feeling as though you could pass out.

Collapsing on the soft bed, you pulled the duvet covers over your torso, letting your head hit the soft pillow. You nearly missed James whispering a small “goodnight darling” before falling into a dreamless sleep.

***

Tuesday 22nd December

Day two of whatever this was supposed to be had begun. Sunlight was streaming in through the windows, not uncommon as James had always been an early bird and must’ve opened them himself. He wasn’t in bed when you rolled over, but you did notice the harsh sound of running water and an overwhelming smell of apple shampoo seeping into the bedroom.

Getting into some fresh clothes, you heard the water stop, buttoning up the last button on your blouse as James waltzed back into the bedroom, before seeing you. He stood like a deer in the headlights, water running smoothly down this toned skin, wearing only a towel around his hips.

“Why is it that I always catch you shirtless?” You tried to end the awkwardness by making a joke, reaching into James’ drawers and pulling out the first shirt you saw, throwing it across the room.

Because of James’ Quidditch skills, his fast reflexes caught the soaring shirt, catching it in one hand, unintentionally flexing his biceps. You shouldn’t have been staring, but the situation was too hard to read.

After standing still for a moment, you regained intelligence, snapping yourself out of your gaze. Muttering a quick apology, you dashed out of his bedroom, closing the door behind you. Pressing your back to the newly closed door, you shut your eyes tight, trying to forget the fresh memory in your mind.

“Trouble in paradise?” You opened one of your eyes to see Remus standing there too, novel in hand, also having his back pressed against the closed door.

“Shirtless.” The only words that could fall out of your mouth, making Remus bark with laughter, before clamping his hand over his mouth, an inch of sympathy showing in his eyes.

“Can’t be that bad of a sight, can it?” He joked, egging you on. You clutched your hands up to your face, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. It was so embarrassing, but the worse past was that there was still so much more to come.

“Shut up Lupin.” You stuck your tongue out playfully at Remus, before bolting down the hallway, hoping to help Euphemia out with breakfast, like you said you would last night at the dinner table.

You were efficient in the kitchen, once again keeping talk to a minimum. Except today, you were feeling more comfortable with Euphemia, a more natural conversation gracing your time. It felt easier to speak. Maybe it was the fact that you had just had a good sleep, or maybe it was that you were actually feeling somewhat at home at the Potter’s residence.

Just as the bacon seemed to be completely cooked, James bursted through the door, Sirius and Remus in tow. James seemed to be the only one nervous, as the other two boys sat down at the table gleefully. Dishing up the breakfast, you handed the plates out to everyone.

Lastly, you handed a plate to James, trying your hardest to not make eye contact. You only stiffened when you felt James’s soft fingers accidentally brush against yours, tensing your muscles immediately.

“There you go,” you spoke in a voice so everyone could hear, “sweetheart.” You hissed the last word out in gritted teeth. Instead of sitting next to James like last night, you opted to sit directly in front of him, something that didn’t go unnoticed by James himself, who gave you a curious look at your choice in seating arrangements.

But before he could talk with you about it, you had finished your breakfast, immediately bouncing back into the kitchen, avoiding all signs of the messy haired brunette who was lurking around the ground floor.

The rest of the day followed a similar pattern. Mundane tasks, followed by awkward conversation, and running away. It wasn’t what you had thought when you offered the idea to fake date, but you realised how hard it actually was to pretend to be madly in love with someone.

It wasn’t until later in the night, when you were getting ready for bed, that you overheard James talking with Remus and Sirius. You knew you shouldn’t, but after hearing him say your name, you were too curious not to eavesdrop in. Pressing your ear against Sirius’ door, you prayed that Euphemia or Fleamont wouldn’t walk past any moment now.

“How’s it going with the whole fake dating thing?” It was Sirius’ voice, and there was a cheek to his voice. You rolled your eyes at his blatant teasing.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” It was James speaking this time. “Everything was going so well, especially yesterday, but after today, I’m a bit worried that my parents won’t believe.”

“What do you mean?” Remus’ voice held a question, an obvious inflection at the end of the sentence.

“I just wish she was a little more, you know,” a pause, “tactile. At least, a little more affection. She’s not playing the part well.”

You should’ve been hurt by James’ words but instead, you felt immense anger, and for what? You didn’t understand why you felt so annoyed by James’ harmless comment, but you did.

Begrudgingly, you languidly stomped back to James’ room, burying yourself under the covers, pretending to be asleep. You didn’t want to talk to him at the moment, in fear that you would just snap at him for the comments that he was making behind your back.

When James came back in about half an hour later, you felt a feeling of pressure being lifted from your chest, breathing easily as James tucked himself on the other side of you. You didn’t know why, but you felt like it was so much easier to sleep now that you knew that James was beside you. And so you did.

***

Wednesday 23rd December

It was an accident. You didn’t mean to wake up at the piss crack on dawn, wrapped in James’ arms. Sometime during the night, your sleeping form must’ve found its way to James. Your head was tucked in the crook of his neck, the soothing sound of his heartbeat rippling out. You felt safe.

Until you remembered that you were supposed to be mad at James. Carefully so you didn’t wake him, you slipped out of his arms, letting yours legs fall off the edge of the bed. Your warm toes made contact with cold hard wooden floors, making you jolt up in surprise. Looking back, you saw that James was still asleep, so you sighed, peeling out of the bedroom.

It was winter, so it wasn’t even that early in the morning. The grandfather clock in the living room was showing that it was just about to be seven, and that was good enough for you. Taking initiative, you decided to start cooking breakfast yourself, remembering the open invitation Euphemia gave you to use the kitchen whenever you want.

Cozying up to the stove, you placed the palms of your hands just over the radiating heat of the stove top, reveling in the delicious warmth that was defrosting every muscle in your body. Your mind was working overtime, trying to remember what James’ favourite breakfast was.

If James wanted an affectionate girlfriend, then he was going to get himself an affectionate girlfriend.

Mixing together a sweet pancake batter, you welcomed Euphemia into the kitchen. Praises filled the room, as you poured the dough into the pan, letting the bubbles rise to the top. In the meantime, you took out the bowl of fresh strawberries in the fridge, letting them come to room temperature on the kitchen counter tops.

Once again, James entered the kitchen right as you were serving up. Making sure it was as noticeable as possible, you sent a massive wink his way, catching him off guard. Grabbing a chopping board from the cupboard, you started slicing the tops off of the strawberries, to which James stopped you.

“Let me help darling.” He spoke, his morning voice making you feel something in your stomach that you weren’t expecting. Butterflies? Surely not. You shook the thought away, focusing back on flipping the pancakes on the stove tops.

After serving another freshly cooked pancake, your attention was pulled to James, a dopey smile on his face, strawberry juice staining his lips. “Y/- Lily, come over here.”

A bitter feeling rose in your chest at hearing Lily’s name, but you pushed it away, walking over to James’ workstation. He had a strawberry in his hand, beckoning you over to taste it. An idea sprouted in your head as you sashayed over, swinging your hips slightly.

You did what James wanted you to do, bending over slightly to place your lips around the sweet berry, letting your loving ‘boyfriend’ feed you. What he didn’t expect was after you had eaten the strawberry, you latched into his hands, wrapping your mouth around his fingers and gently sucking off the rest of the strawberry juice. It had caught him off guard but that’s what you wanted.

Today he was going to get all the affection you could give him.

At the breakfast table, you sat beside him, resting your hand on his thigh as you ate, leaning into him as you laughed at a joke Sirius had made. It wasn’t that funny but you wanted to prove a point. You wanted to prove that you could play the part of the doting girlfriend.

Soon, after breakfast, the Potter’s decided to go for a walk, so everyone joined in. Wrapping each other up in as much warm clothing as possible, everyone bundled outside together, minding the brisk breeze that was blowing through.

Holding James’ hand, you strolled calmly together, leaning your cheek against his arm and shoulder. He didn’t seem to mind, but he didn’t keep sending you strange looks as you continuously clutched his arm, running your fingers up and down his skin. You couldn’t tell if the goosebumps were from hesitation or the cold.

It started snowing quite heavily so they decided to head back inside. James and Remus had been caught up in conversation for most of the walk, about who was better at wizard’s chess and had agreed to a competition to decide for once and for all.

Curled up on the couch, you sat beside James, one and curled around a mug of cocoa and the other places upon James’ thigh. He let you, nodding when you hesitated on placing your hand there the first time.

About an hour into their little competition, you felt a haze settle upon your eyes, rendering you tired. It was late afternoon though, not a good enough time to go to bed. Yawning, you placed your mug down on the coffee table, and stretched out over the couch, placing your head down on James’ lap. Subconsciously, his left hand followed the movements of your head, latching onto a piece of your hair and twirling around his finger.

You never slept, but you rested your eyes. You didn’t know for how long until you felt the familiar sound of Euphemia’s dream-like voice, calling you to dinner. Hurriedly, you placed a mushy kiss against James’ cheek and sat in the usual spot at the dinner table.

By now, conversation flowed more easily than it did the day before. You were now beginning to feel safe in the Potter environment, opening up to everyone more, letting yourself join the conversation.

When you were going off the bed, you placed one last public kiss on James’ cheek before lacing your hands together, pulling him up to the bedroom and winking at Sirius and Remus, knowing full well what it was suggesting.

Once you got behind the doors though, you were off him in an instant, searching through your bag for a spare change of clothes for the night. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you, getting ready for bed in your own separate bubbles. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to speak to James, it was more that you didn’t know what to say to him after today. You were afraid that you had crossed a line.

“What was that today?” James finally broke the silence, a crack in his voice as you spoke. You spin around, a fake smile creeping onto your face.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” His voice was cool, sending shivers down your spine. Your smile dropped, replaced with a frown. You could almost feel a few tears edging at your waterline, threatening to spill over if you weren’t careful.

“I’m sorry.” You started, fiddling with your fingers. “It was just- I overheard what you said last night. You said you wish I was being more, uhm, tactile.” You felt embarrassed to say the word. “I just wanted to put in a bit more effort. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

James stayed quiet as he settled into bed. You followed suit, getting it just behind him. You faced away from him though, as your cheeks were now being stained by your tears.

“Y/N?” You heard James call from behind you, but you didn’t turn around.

“Hm?”

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable. It was just strange seeing so much affection from someone who wasn’t Lily.” He paused. “Thank you.”

“Goodnight Jamesie.”

“Goodnight Y/N.”

***

Thursday 24th December

Once again, you woke up in James’ arms. Once again, you weren’t sure how you got there, but you weren’t complaining either way. Once again, you moved out of his arms before he noticed.

A new occurrence this morning though was he woke up by your movement.

“Oh, good morning love.”

Your heart fluttered at the nickname, although you didn’t know why. You kept your eyes closed, as they were still heavy from last night’s sleep. Unfortunately, it was plagued by fluffy dreams, all lead by a familiar bespectacled boy. You shook the thought from your mind, trying to open your eyes, but you couldn’t. You could barely mutter out a greeting.

“Hmm.” You grunted in acknowledgment, burying you head in the pillow. It smelt like James. A smile crept on your face without you realising.

“Tired?”

“Hmm.” You let out another whine, this one more pitiful, as you nuzzled you head against James’ arm, wanting to feel his warmth once again. Chuckling, he wrapped an arm around you before placing a calculated kiss on top of your head.

“Stay here darling.” You didn’t have to be told twice. As James left the bed, you stayed put, falling down where James was previously sleeping, laying horizontally along James’ bed as you fell back into your slumber.

You didn’t know how long you were out for, but you didn’t wake up to the sound of the creaking door opening and the clinking off ice against a glass of water. You tentatively opened one eye, letting in as much light as you would allow, adjusting to the new found sunlight. Slowly, you opened the next eye, so you could properly see what James was doing.

In his hands, he carried a breakfast tray, adorned with fresh ciabatta bread, yogurt, and a bowl of strawberries. The clinking sound before was coming from a glass of icy cold water, sitting next to a vase of peonies. Your favourite flower. You flushed at the fact that James had remembered something so miniscule.

“Breakfast in bed for the princess.” James joked, letting you sit up filling before placing the tray on your lap.

“What does that make you then? A prince?” You continued the joke, folding back a bit of the duvet to let James hop back into the bed too. There was double of everything on the tray, so you assumed one helping was for James.

You gave him a plate of breakfast as you slowly miches on yours, your mind too preoccupied to think about breakfast. All you could think about was why you were feeling so nervous around James. Why was your heart racing? Why were your cheeks flushing? Why were your hands clamming up?

“Open wide.” You whipped you head around to see James with a goofy grin on his face, holding a strawberry in his hand. Remembering what happened yesterday, you took a bite of the berry, purposely not continuing how you did yesterday and licking his fingers.

A disappointed pout returned to his face. “No finger sucking? Aww what’s wrong?”

“Did you want me to suck your fingers, Prince James?” You poked him playfully on his side. “It would be highly inappropriate. We aren’t even married yet. What a scandal.” You spoke in an over the top British accent, mimicking stereotypical royal figures.

“Oh, don’t worry Princess Y/N, I wouldn’t mind have you in my bloodline.”

“Hm, Princess Y/N of the Potter residence.” You jokingly thought for a moment. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

As you giggled together, you heard a knock at the door, followed by a “I’m coming in.” The doorknob turned and Euphemia emerged from behind the door. “How is my happy couple going?”

You kept the smile on your face, not letting it falter and break character. A little voice in the back of my mind was angry, upset that Euphemia had interrupted the moment, but ultimately you thought that maybe it was for the best. You needed to keep the flirting for the public eyes only.

“Hey Mum.” James cheered. You looked back to him and noticed the same smile on his face, like it hadn’t fallen. Like, he hadn’t even noticed that Euphemia had called us a couple.

“It snowed again last night so we’re snowed in for the day. Do you two have any plans?” She asked, her eyes flickering from between us.

“I have a lot of homework to do so I might do that today.” You spoke quietly, a little embarrassed that you wanted to do homework. You didn’t actually want to do homework, but you felt like you need to be occupied by something, to control an inner urge that was bubbling inside of you.

“Come on!” James whined, letting his head fall down on your shoulder. You got immediately warm from his touch. “It’s the holidays! You can’t seriously be doing homework?”

“I have stuff to catch up on.”

“Like what?”

“Like, um, stuff.”

“Would you kids like to do some baking for Christmas tomorrow?” Euphemia suggested, to which James lit up like a Christmas tree, completely infatuated by the idea.

“Yes, yes, yes.” James repeated, rushing out of bed, but carefully enough to not spill the tray everywhere. You followed suit, pulling on a dressing gown and entering the kitchen with an enthusiastic James.

That’s how the rest of the day went. You and James stayed in the kitchen all day, still wearing your sleeping pajamas, fooling around and baking.

You started with making Christmas cake, but soon found out that James was rather good at baking himself. He took the reigns, busily working as you helped out, doing the chopping and measuring for him.

At one point, James’ eyebrows were furrowed together in concentration for over two minutes. You were getting restless, the perfection needed for baking boring you, so you decided to have some fun. Pinching your finger together, you gathered up a handful of flour, flinging it at an unsuspecting James. He turned around slowly, his cheek covered in white powder, before an evil grin consumed his face.

“Oh, you’re on, L/N.”

That’s how most of the baking went with James that day. Joking around, flinging ingredients at each other. By the end of it, you could hardly tell the difference between the kitchen floor and your aprons.

At the end, you had made Christmas cake, gingerbread cookies, and a loaf of bread. Happy with your haul, you went into the living room to call the rest of the members of the household to inspect the food.

“Come see what we made.” You and James called, standing underneath the archway from the kitchen and the living room. As you were about to step away, you heard a halting sound.

“Uh uh, wait up.” You turned back around to see Fleamont with a cheeky smile on his face, pointing at the two of you. You didn’t know what he was pointing at but Euphemia, Sirius, and Remus did, following Fleamont’s arm and laughing when they saw it.

Gazing upwards, you looked to see what the big fuss was about. Your face fell in an instant. Hanging above you and James was a freshly picked mistletoe plant.

You grimaced at the thought, feeling guilty. It was one of the rules you had set. No kissing on the lips. Surely Remus and Sirius knew that, but they were too busy laughing their asses off to remember.

Looking back at James, you gulped. You stared up at his cerulean blue eyes, your hand shaking beside you slightly. James’ eyes were raking your face, searching for any sign of consent. You nodded soon after realising what he was doing and you let him cup your face, bringing you closer than you’ve ever been.

“Are you okay with this?” James whispered for only you to hear. You kept leaning forward until you were only millimetres away from touching when you breathed out your last word of consent: “yes.”

Your lips met in the middle. It was soft and sweet, not wanting to push what was already fragile. James’ left hand stayed cupping your cheek, holding you face still as his right hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest. It was magical, as if all your happiness you had ever felt was wrapped together and given to you right there. You had your hands resting on his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat underneath you like a song from the heavens.

When you pulled away, your eyes lingered a little longer in James’, the eye contact you were holding inescapable and passionate. Your head felt heavy, your eyelids weighing you down as a wave of exhaustion hit you like a freight train. Discreetly, you yawn behind you hand, a gesture that wasn’t missed by James, who reached out for your wrist, running his thumb up and down your hand.

“Let’s go get you some sleep, hm?” An affirming sound escaped your mouth as you trailed behind James. Back in his bedroom, you collapsed on the bed, your lips still tingling from the sensual kiss just moments before.

The two of you were silent as you got ready for bed. Working harmoniously beside each other, you changed, and did your repetitive nightly routine, just to end up in the same place as always; on opposite sides of the bed, unable to make conversation. Luckily for you, James was onto it.

“I’m so sorry,” he started, but when you tried to butt in, he cut you off, continuing his rant. “I knew that was one of the rules and I broke it. I should’ve just said no and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that. You didn’t deserve to have your boundaries crossed. I’m sorry for pressuring you into something you weren’t ready for.”

You stayed silent for a moment, soaking in his words before you began yourself. “James, I didn’t mind. You didn’t take advantage of me. It’s completely okay. And what’s that famous saying, rules are meant to be broken.”

Your pathetic attempt to joke was shut down as James didn’t say anything, nor move, just staring up at the ceiling, lost in thought. Huffing, you rolled over, trying to let slumber take you away, but you couldn’t. There was a chill in the house tonight, another snow storm heading your way. You shuddered as a draft blew through.

“You’re cold.” James finally spoke, yet it was an obvious statement, as you were still shaking under a blanket, your teeth starting to chatter.

“Come here.” You turned around, seeming as if you had misheard him, but you saw what you were afraid of. James’ arms were wide open, beckoning you to fall asleep with him wrapped around you, keeping you safe.

So you did.

***

Friday 25th December

Christmas morning was perfect. As you fluttered open your eyes, you once again found yourself situated in James’ arms, the only difference was that he was awake too, his radiant smile beaming down on you, making you feel warm and cuddly on the inside.

Breakfast was simple, as everyone was mostly preparing for Christmas lunch. You tried to help out as much as possible but Euphemia always shut you down, insisting that you had helped out enough and that you needed a break. So, you sat patiently on the couch, munching slowly on an apple, the juice running smoothly down your face.

“Good morning Lily.” James had appeared beside you, placing a soft kiss on your temple. The words falling from his mouth were more acidic than the juice dripping from your chin. Your returning smile was filled with bitterness, something James picked up on, his nose scrunching up as he surveyed your emotions.

“G’morning Jamesie.” You slurred, gritting your teeth together, detesting the name you were just called. Still unable to figure out why, James gave you a look, a look that just said “what?” It hurt, knowing that he wouldn’t know why it spurred you on so much.

Fleamont soon joined you in the living room, taking the armchair in the middle of the room, burying himself in the comfort. Politely, you nodded towards him, acknowledging his presence, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“How did you two sleep?” He asked, gesturing between the two of you, to which you both smiled.

“Just fine, thank you, any you?” You responded for the both of you, feeling James’ hand curl around you own, his fingers intertwined with yours.

“Just fine, although, I was walking down the hallway during the night and I noticed something peculiar.”

Unsure of what he meant, you egged him on. “What did you notice?”

“Your bedroom door was open, son; the pesky draft must’ve opened it. There was moonlight streaming in from the window, and I noticed the two of you curled up together.” Fleamont looked directly at you. “I didn’t realise the two of you were at that stage of your relationship.

As Fleamont winked at the two of you, your mouth fell open, appalled, as James was laughing like a maniac beside you. It wasn’t until Euphemia came into the living room to break apart their banter to get together for Christmas lunch.

It was a peaceful meal of casual conversation and light jokes. You stayed quiet most of the time, actually rather enjoying listening in on the fascinating stories that Euphemia and Fleamont were telling about James when he was a child. Soon, the conversation turned towards the future, and all eyes were on you.”

“Dear, what would you like to do when you leave Hogwarts?” It should’ve been an easy question to answer but you were stumped, unsure if you should answer as Lily or as yourself. Unable to think of something Lily would say, you decided to answer as you would.

“Actually, I want to study in a muggle university. Literature, or maybe anthropology. I’ve always been interested in learning about the world and my heart has always been somewhat attached to the muggle world. It’s where I want to flourish.” Embarrassed by your little monologue, you flushed a deep red, before turning back towards your ham.

“How inspiring,” Euphemia said, clapping her hands together in delight, “and what about marriage? Have you thought about settling down?”

You almost choked on your food at the question, catching you completely off guard. All eyes were on you and James now, with Sirius and Remus trying not to disturb anyone as they laughed in the distance.

“Uhm,” you looked at James for guidance but he also seemed just as uncomfortable as you were. “I haven’t thought that far through, to be completely honest.”

“Oh, but dear,” Euphemia looked positively thrilled. “We would be absolutely delighted for you to join our family. Lily Potter, my beautiful and caring daughter-in-law.”

“Okay, how about we clean up now, yeah?” Thankfully, James had broken up the conversation, offering to clean up the plates. Eager to leave the uncomfortable situations you helped bring in the stacks of food, offering to split it up, and repackage it for later consumption. You worked efficiently, avoiding anyone with the last name Potter at all cost.

When everything seemed to be tidied up, the Potter parents insisted that everyone sit around together for the gift giving portion of Christmas. Quietly, you rushed back to the bedroom, getting out the small gifts you had brought everyone for the Christmas season while you were out the other day.

Sitting amongst everyone, it felt like everything was back to normal. No more awkward conversations about the future plagued the atmosphere, just joyous laughter and pure happiness circling the room.

Firstly, you gave small presents to Sirius and Remus, including some quills for school, and gunpowder for pranks. You gave Euphemia and Fleamont some Christmas fudge that you had found, as well as a thank you note, thanking them for letting you stay over the Christmas season. Lastly, you handed a small box to James, a lacy ribbon decorating it.

“Open it.” You spoke in an almost whisper, as James’ fingers fiddled with the ribbon. As it fell open, you heard the small gasp from James, as he took the chain out of the box.

It was a small silver bracelet, yet it was decorated by a tiny, dangling gem, the colour of the deep blue ocean, something that seemed to have enchanted the bespectacled boy.

“It’s a sapphire.” You said, running your fingers over the cold chain. “It’s supposed to represent honesty, trust, loyalty. Everything that embodies you.” You spoke with so much weight in your chest, speaking from the deepest depths of your heart. Everything you said was true.

Swooping down, James pressed a kiss to your cheek, whispering a hushed “I love you” under his breath, so faint that you weren’t even sure if you were supposed to hear it.

The rest of the presents were handed out, until there was only one left underneath the Christmas tree. With a smile on his face, Fleamont reached down underneath the tree, grabbing the package and passing it to you.

It should’ve been a happy moment, a moment where you truly felt like you belonged in the Potter house. It did at first as the smile seemed to never be able to falter, until you stared down at the packaging, noticing the name ‘Lily Evans’ written in cursive. A single tear ran down your face as you realised something harsh in that very moment. It was always going to be Lily Evans, never Y/N L/N.

The feeling got worse as you carrot undid the wrapping paper, revealing a collection of polaroid photographs. They were all different shots of you and James throughout the holidays. Curled up on the couch, baking in the kitchen, out on the walls, sucking the juice off of his fingers. The last one made you laugh as you remembered the memory that had now turned fond.

“I love them. Thank you so much.”

The day was mostly mundane, just filled with more activities, like chess, or cleaning to fill in the time. It seemed like everyone was just waiting for the snow to melt, so they could all go back outside again. You knew James was just itching to play with his Quidditch set outside.

Strangely enough, you found yourself outside in the snow, wrapped up tight from the weather. The snow had stopped falling for a peaceful moment, so you thought it would be the perfect time to get some fresh air, away from the overwhelming company.

You were soon joined though, as you heard the front door open and close from behind you. You didn’t even have to guess who it was as they stood beside you, taking in a deep breath, exhaling visibling in the frosty air.

“How are you doing?” James looked over to you, his eyes laced with concern. You shrugged, smiling that he seemed to care about you. It warmed you.

“Overwhelmed, but you’ve been perfect. All thanks to you, I think they might actually believe it.” You were now completely facing James now, looking up into his deep, aquamarine eyes, watching as the tint changed when the light hit the irises at a different angle. It was mesmerising.

You weren’t the only one mesmerised though. James couldn’t stop staring at your beauty. The way your eyes sparkled in the light. The way your skin catched the light snow that was starting to fall. Your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

The question caught you off guard, but it left you feeling unsatisfied. Before you could even respond, you had James by the collar of his sweater, pulling him down ever so slightly so your lips could meet with his. It was light fire and electricity, a thousand gusts of wind blowing through you, spilling into you like an endless thunderstorm. You kissed him like it was the last time you were ever going to see him, hungry, desperate, passionate.

You were in love.

***

Saturday 26th December

You had fallen asleep on the couch, slumped with James as he cocooned your sleeping body between his limbs. Unfortunately, your slumber had been awoken in the early hours of the morning by banging on the front door. Groggily, James got up, rubbing his head with his hands.

Running your fingers through your hair, you got up with him, putting on a sweater to make yourself look more presentable. James’ sweater, to be exact.

The four other residents of the house had now awoken from the persistent knocking and had joined us downstairs. It was just after sunrise so everyone was sort of dazed and out of it. With one last eye rub, James swung the door open to reveal the person standing there.

Lily Evans, with her hair like a roaring fire, cheeks naturally rosy, and eyes glinting like a morning sunrise, she stood there, clutching her hands nervously. As soon as she saw James though, she flung her arms around his neck, burying her head in the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” A string of apologies came out of her mouth as tears started running down her cheeks, dark mascara staining her porcelain skin. A confused look was shot my way as Euphemia just stared between the two of us, unsure of what to do.

“Hello darling.” Euphemia’s motherly voice was out to play. ”If you don’t mind me asking, who are you?”

“Oh sorry for not introducing myself.” Lily removed herself from James’ figuring, wiping her eyes on her sleeves, as she stuck her hand out to be shaken. “I’m Lily Evans, nice to meet you.”

Then, Lily noticed your looming form sending a curious look your way. It wasn’t the only look of confusion. Euphemia and Fleamont were almost unreadable as you flicked between the two of them.

It was time to come clean.

“This is Lily Evans, my ex girlfriend.” James had the same idea as you, introducing the red headed girl to his parents finally.

“And this is Y/N L/N, my close friend.”

Friend.

That’s all you were. That’s all you would ever be, compared to Lily.

It took a bit of explaining and sitting Fleamont and Euphemia down to fully explain the plan. You started off with the breakup and then talked about the devilish plan, saying that all you wanted to do was keep Christmas light and cheery. All you got were uncomfortable looks from James’ parents.

When everything was laid out on the table, Fleamont got up and left, obviously disappointed in the choices you and his son had made. Euphemia looked as though she had just swallowed a bee, lips pursed as she contemplated the next move.

“Well, Y/N,” the name fell bitterly for her lips; it sounded so foreign, so unnatural. “You are happy to stay with us until tomorrow. It was nice to finally meet you.”

That was the full extent of the conversation. For the rest of the day, it seemed as though Fleamont and Euphemia were keeping James and you away from each other, always asking one or the other to help with chores, or to do a mundane activity with them.

It wasn’t until night time dawned on the residence. The atmosphere had unfortunately changed after Lily’s short and unexpected visit. Her exit was speedy after her unprompted entrance, an uneasy ripple of tension in the house.

When it was time to sleep, Euphemia had shown you to a spare room, taking initiative to set you up somewhere separate, now knowing that you weren’t actually dating James. It was cold though, empty and alone, and as you tried to sleep, your hands kept trailing to James’ side of the bed, searching for him.

You took it upon yourself to take matters into your own hands. Creeping through the house, you found yourself outside of James’ bedroom door. Quietly, you knocked, waiting a few seconds before entering. James was lying in bed, eyes wide open, staring at the open curtain which was letting in trickles of moonlight. When you entered, he looked back at you, his lips parted slightly in shock.

“Can I…?” Your voice trailed off as you couldn’t bare to finish your sentence in embarrassment, but James seemed to know what you were alluding to, pulling back the covers almost immediately.

“Of course.”

***

Sunday 27th December

You woke in early hours of the morning. It was intentional, not wanting to be found in James’ bed again. It would be scandalous. You laid back in your new bed, closing your eyes for a moment, hoping you could go back asleep, but sleep couldn’t find you.

Before breakfast had started, you had packed you bags, ready to catch the train at ten o’clock. An early breakfast run was needed as you munched some Christmas leftovers, opposite sides of the table from James. You still hadn’t talked about what had happened. Even last night, you had only just cuddled until you both had fallen asleep. Your feelings till needed to be addressed.

Hurriedly, the four Hogwarts students were aparated back to King’s Cross Station by Euphemia and Fleamont, both with sorrowful looks on their faces. They were hugging their son goodbye, then moving onto Sirius and Remus, hugging them like they were also their children. You shifted awkwardly in the group.

“And we can’t forget you, now can we, Y/N?” It was still strange hearing your own name come from their lips, but you welcomed it, slightly happy to be the only receptor of the love now. As you were pulled into a jug by Euphemia, you could hear the last words she spoke to you. “Thank you for looking after my son. I’d be happy to have you as my daughter-in-law.”

Last minute goodbyes were said as you all bundled up onto the train, finding a carriage right in front of where Euphemia and Fleamont were standing. You waved cheerfully at them as the train pulled out of the station, a chapter of your life closing.

You hadn’t noticed Remus and Sirius had stepped out of the carriage, giving you and James some much needed privacy. There wasn’t much that needed to be said though. Everything that needed to be communicated had already been done through awkward glances and small looks.

“Hey.” His voice was almost silent.

“Hey.”

A pause.

“What are we?”

“Whatever you want to be.” You eventually said. James hummed in agreement, resting his head in his hand.

“Onwards?”

You smiled.

“Onwards.”

[wlntrsldler]

hey!! love ur writings so far, could i request you belong with me with fred weasley? thanks! <3

PROMPT: based on you belong with me by taylor swift (an installment of my taylor swift x harry potter series. to read more about it, click here) Fred realizes that he loves Y/N after seeing her so close to George. 

WC: 2.6K+ words

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

-

you belong with me (f.w one shot)

“Sorry,” you mumbled, adjusting the glasses on the bridge of your nose as you collided into someone’s chest. You couldn’t take your eyes away from the ginger boy to the right of you, flashing his toothy grin at Angelina. She laughed at his joke, brushing against his arm in a flirty manner. Your heart fell apart at the sight, almost making you want to crush your glasses under your foot to prevent you from seeing anymore. But it was too late— the image was already burned into your mind. 

“Y/N,” the voice called, waving a hand in front of your face. 

Suddenly, you were pulled back to reality. You looked up at the person you ran into, flustered that you completely forgot their existence. George. You visibly relaxed, shoulders rolling back into a less tense state, “Sorry, Georgie.”

“Fred, again?” he asked, a sympathetic look on his face as he watched you stare at his older twin longingly. George took some of the books you had pressed against your chest, helping you carry the weight of the stress that occupied your mind. “Will you ever tell him how you feel?”

At his words, your eyes widened. You shook your head furiously, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, as you bounced up and down on your toes. You gulped, looking back at the older twin, who left his earlier spot and was no nowhere to be found. You frowned, “Never, Georgie. He’s my best friend and I wouldn’t want to mess that up.” 

He cocked an eyebrow, faking a look of hurt on his face, “I’ll pretend you didn’t just call him your best friend when I’m right here-”

“You know what I mean.”

“As I was saying,” he shot you an annoyed look for interrupting him before he continued. “He may be my brother and your best friend but you’re my best friend too, Y/N. I’d rather not watch my best friend get hurt over and over again.” 

You sighed, lifting your glasses up to rub your tired eyes, “It’s not worth it. I’d rather stay like this and keep Fred in my life than mess up what we have because of my stupid feelings.” 

George rolled his eyes, wanting to somehow find a way to convince you to tell his twin how you felt, but when he saw your face drop at the sight of Fred and Angelina in a lip lock, he decided to move on from the topic. He wrapped a protective arm around you, leading you to the other side of the castle. “Come on, Y/N. There’s nothing for you to see here.” 

The day continued to drag on with everyone whispering about their excitement for the Yule Ball. You tried your hardest not to roll your eyes at the constant gushing from the girls you passed about their dates. George chuckled beside you, copying the scowl on your face, and gagging as Hermione and Ginny talked about their dates. 

You looked up at him as you sat down next to each other, “Who are you going with, Georgie?”

“No idea,” he replied, “Wanna be my date?” 

“George Weasley, do not take me as your date because you pity me.” 

“Hey, I’m sure I’d have more fun with you than with any other girl I may ask,” he argued, nudging you with his elbow. “What do you say, Y/N? Let’s show my dumber and less attractive twin what he’s missing out on.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, unable to stop the smile that appeared on your face. “Can’t wait.” 

George saw you like a sister— almost like Ginny. He wanted to protect you and make sure you were alright, that nobody could hurt you. It just happened to be that it was his daft and dear twin brother to be the perpetrator. He saw this one coming, really. Growing up together, he saw the way you and Fred always had a special connection. It wasn’t until you began to understand your feelings did you stray closer to him than Fred. He took pride in being the more sensitive brother, more observant than the older one, so he always made sure he was there to pick up the pieces after everything happened, like a brother would. 

George caught onto your feelings for his brother a few years ago when he saw you staring at him a bit too long for it to be friendly. For years he watched you pine after Fred, too afraid to face rejection or to lose your friendship to say anything. If it were up to George, he would lock you and Fred in a room together until you confessed to him how you felt or until Fred got his head out of his arse long enough to figure it out himself. But he knew it wasn’t up to him so he had to go through the pain of watching his two bestest friends in the world run around in circles. It’s pathetic if you asked him. 

You weren’t exactly discrete with your feelings. You were sure all of the Weasleys— Charlie included, who hasn’t seen you since you were 13 when he took a break from tending for his beloved dragons, choosing to visit the Burrow for the summer— caught on to your affections, apart from Fred. Molly would often assign the both of you to do chores together. Even Harry, the most oblivious person you’ve ever met in your life, knew of your feelings for Fred. 

You’ve come to the conclusion that nobody could be that clueless. Fred was simply ignoring your feelings so he didn’t have to be the one to break your heart. 

-

The night of the Yule Ball was equally magical as it was confusing for Fred. You descended from the steps, looking gorgeous as ever, snatching the breath of everyone who awaited at the bottom. George beamed proudly at you, eyes twinkling as he watched you strut down with confidence. Fred’s back was turned, not seeing your entrance as he was too busy chatting with his date. You didn’t expect any less from him— he was a gentleman. 

It wasn’t until Ron spoke up did Fred finally turn around to look at you. Ron’s eyes bulged out of their sockets, “Blimey, Y/N, when did you get so fit?”

When Fred turned around, his jaw fell to the floor. It was like everyone else disappeared. Angelina’s chatter was reduced to white noise. The sound of the music from inside the Yule Ball was faint. All he could focus on was you. 

Ron has a point, Fred thought. 

You looked absolutely gorgeous. The color of your dress complimented your skin so well. You looked so mature, no longer the shy girl that he and his brother took a liking to. You were Y/N. And Godric, you were absolutely breathtaking. 

Hermione slapped Ron’s arm, scowling, “Ronald, that’s not very nice.” 

You chuckled, eyes darting over to Fred for a split second. You blushed when you saw him staring back, mouth agape, like he couldn’t believe it was you. You immediately moved your eyes to the younger twin, taking his outstretched hand before he leaned closer to your ear. George’s breath tickled your skin, making you shiver. He whispered, “Looks like you got his attention.”

You were flustered, hiding your face in the crook of George’s neck to hide the redness of your cheeks. He laughed at you, pulling away to guide you to the entrance. Because your back was turned, you didn’t see the confused look on Fred’s face. 

Since when did that start? He made a mental note to ask his twin about it later, an unfamiliar feeling overcoming his senses as he watched George’s hand find the small of your back.

“Fred?” 

He snapped out of his thoughts, now aware of the beautiful girl by his side. He turned his head to look at Angelina, an apologetic look on his face. He sent her a small smile, “Sorry, love.”

“No worries, you ready to go in?” She asked, looping her arm through his. He nodded, clearing his throat, trying to shake the image of you and his brother out of his head. As they walked in, Angelina spoke again, “I didn’t know Y/N and George were a thing.”

“They’re not,” Fred blurted out, blinking rapidly as Angelina shot him a quizzical look. He was sure his cheeks were now pink, a sure sign of his embarrassment, “Uh, I mean- I don’t think they are, at least. I’m sure they would’ve told me. He’s my brother and she’s my best friend, after all.” 

You would’ve told him, right? 

-

Fred would be lying if he said there wasn’t a weight lifted off his chest when George stumbled into their shared room at 11 PM. He couldn’t bring himself to spend the night with Angelina because the thought of you and George plagued his mind. He shivered at the thought that George would take you back to your room, and Merlin knows what else might ensue. Fred didn’t want to think about it. 

He laid in the dark, hoping that the younger twin would make his way inside at a reasonable hour. He still had on his dress shirt but his tie was undone as he laid against the frame of his bed, arms folded behind his neck. His shoes were in two different places in the room. He quite literally shook them off his feet, frustrated that he didn’t know what he was feeling. Fred perked up at any sound that might indicate George’s arrival, deflating when the sound of footsteps walked past his door. 

Finally, George walked in, shoes in hand but the rest of his ensemble still neatly on his body. Well, that’s a good sign, Fred thought. George flicked the light switch on, making Fred hiss at the sudden light. The younger twin threw his shoes at Fred, thinking there was an intruder in their room, half-expecting Fred to still be out with Angelina. 

Fred squinted his eyes, “What was that for?” 

“Oops, sorry,” George chuckled, undoing his tie and plopping onto his bed. “Didn’t expect you to be back so early.”

“I could say the same about you.” 

“Why is that my dear brother?”

Fred felt bile rise up his throat, hating the words that rolled off his tongue, “You and Y/N looked rather cozy.” 

George cocked an eyebrow, leaning forward to interrogate his brother, “Is that a problem?”

Fred was too worked up to detect the teasing tone in his twin’s voice. He cleared his throat, choosing to look everywhere else but at George’s smirking face. “Yes it is a problem. I’d like a heads-up next time my brother and my best friend start shagging.”

He snorted, “We’re not shagging, you git. We’re just best friends.” 

“I thought I was her best friend too and she didn’t go to the ball with me. She went with you, so I find it hard to believe that you’re just friends.” 

“Believe what you want, dearest brother,” George hummed, getting up to get ready for bed. “But did you even ask her to the Ball? I’m sure she would’ve said yes if you did.” 

“Well, I’m dating Angelina so that wouldn’t work.” 

“Precisely,” George rolled his eyes, throwing his balled up tie in his brother’s direction. “That’s why she went with me. You’re dating Angelina, so what’s got your knickers in a twist?”

“I do not have my knickers in a twist.” Fred huffed, getting up to do the same. Silence fell upon the two boys. George was enjoying their confrontation a bit too much, while Fred was now rethinking everything he thought he knew. Was it possible that he was jealous?

No, that couldn’t possibly be it. 

Can it?

-

You’ve preoccupied Fred’s mind since the Yule Ball. Although, he hasn’t brought up his suspicions— and as much as he won’t admit it, his jealousy— over your relationship with his twin, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it. It’s gotten in the way of a lot of things. 

For starters, Angelina grew tired of Fred’s absentmindedness, forgetting dates and always daydreaming or staring off to where you and George sat when he was with her. She broke it off with him, and truth be told, he was relieved. 

He skipped over to where you and George sat, prying the both of you away from each other as he squeezed himself between you. He ignored George’s protests and turned his back on his brother, facing you with a comedic smile on his face, “Hello, Y/N.”

You raised your eyebrows, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose, “Yes, Freddie?”

“Just wanted to see how my best girl is doing.”

You shook your head playfully, trying to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks. George giggled from behind Fred, getting up to leave the two of you alone. George knew his plan would work.

You pushed Fred off a bit, his body heat making you more flustered than ever, “Put a cork in it, Weasley. I’m sure your girlfriend would not appreciate you saying that to me.”

“My huh?” he cocked his head to one side, a twinkle of mischief in his eye as he explained his situation to you. “I don’t have one of those anymore, my dearest.” 

You dropped your quill, shocked, as you turned to the red head beside you. You imagined he would be much sadder, given the fact that he no longer had a girlfriend, but the grin on his face told another story. It made you believe that the boy in front of you was pulling your leg. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest, “Not funny, Weasley. Don’t joke about that.”

“Not joking,” he mused, shrugging it off like it was no big deal. “We broke up like two weeks ago.” 

“And you’re not in shambles right now because..?”

“Because it was bound to end, anyway.”

A puzzled look took over your features as you gave Fred your undivided attention. His eyes were studying your face, a small smile tugging on his perfect lips. He leaned over and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, keeping his hand there longer than necessary, cupping your jaw. You managed to speak despite the shocks that shot through your body— albeit it was more of a squeak, but you were proud of yourself for even uttering something out, “Why is that?”

“Someone…” he trailed off, brushing your skin with the pad of his thumb before blushing madly, like he just became aware of what he’s been doing. You suddenly missed his touch when he pulled his hand away. Fred cleared his throat, “Someone else caught my attention.” 

You whispered, still half-dazed from his previous action, “Oh.” 

“Y/N?” Fred mumbled, eyes glued to your lips. 

“Mhm?”

He licked his lips, inching closer to you. His breath tickled your lips, making your heartbeat a million miles an hour. “Can I?”

“If you want,” you gulped, allowing yourself to melt under his touch. 

“I’ve never wanted something more than this. You belong with me.” 

“Shut up and kiss me, Weasley.”

He smirked before letting his lips touch yours. He pulled you closer to his body, almost forgetting that you were both in public. It’s not like he cared much over an audience anyway. He only pulled away from you when he felt his ear being twisted. Fred grimaced in pain, eyes screwed shut. 

You giggled as you watched Professor McGonagall picking him up by the ear. She wore a fond look on her face that she tried to disguise with a scowl, “Mr. Weasley, I will not have you corrupt one of my best students.” 

“Come on, Professor,” he groaned, sending you a cheeky wink, “With the way she was kissing me back, she was the one corrupting me.” 

You flushed red, placing your face in your hands, “Weasley!”

Unfortunately, he got a week’s worth of detention. It was worth it because he got a girlfriend in return. 

TAGS: @rexorangecouny

[claireunoia]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐴𝐿𝑆𝑇𝑅𝑂𝐸𝑀𝐸𝑅𝐼𝐴 | 𝑠. 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑛 ೃ࿔₊•

❥⋆｡˚ 𝑆𝑌𝑁𝑂𝑃𝑆𝐼𝑆 | 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙖 ♡︎.

❥⋆｡˚ 𝑃𝐴𝐼𝑅𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆 | 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙!𝙨𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙝 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

❥⋆｡˚ 𝑊𝑂𝑅𝐷 𝐶𝑂𝑈𝑁𝑇 | 1167

❥⋆｡˚ 𝑊𝐴𝑅𝑁𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆 | 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙, ��𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝗶𝘁’𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵 𝗿𝗼𝘁, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝟮 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘀!, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗵 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆?

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your closest friend sarah cameron is finally back home, to you and to the rest of the pogues along with john b. you never thought you’ll ever be able to see her face again, that thought scared you to depths of your soul and body. but when you and the pogues found the both of them standing dead smack in front of you, the light that was once in your life shined again in that moment.

you were once a kook with sarah, the bestest of friends since you both were itty bitty blooming children. you’ve been by sarah’s side since damn near the beginning and you would always be by her side until you can’t anymore.

now that you and sarah found a home within the pogues, they accepted you both; with lots of trouble at first but you two earned your stripes. as much as you love the pogues tremendously, your heart always lies with sarah and you think it would always be.

you don’t mean to sound like that but sarah is just a bit above them when it comes to the ‘love’ category. and the rest of the pogues absolutely know that by yours and sarah’s actions you both show on a daily basis, especially when you all found her and john b. sarah cameron is the part of you and you were hers, no you, no sarah, no sarah, no you.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

it was such a good night. an amazing night, definitely one for the books for sure.

it was no one but your family enjoying each other’s company, having fun, and just having the times of your lives together in the backyard of the chateau. from playing in the hot tub, to you and the girls plus jj dancing to the blaring music that played during the reunion. it was so amazing, you couldn’t or wouldn’t wish for anything else because you were surrounded by genuine happiness for the first time in a long time.

after all of the crazy partying had died down to you all chilling in different spots talking to one another, sarah suddenly glanced at you while john b was talking to pope. you caught the sudden eyes on you immediately and found the pair that were seeking, which was your best friend, sarah. the blonde girl smiled softly at you, placing her red solo cup down beside her to look back up at you.

her hand waving in a forward motion while her head tilted to the side, indicating to follow her. you giggled with a confused look on your face, taking her hand and getting up with the girl. jj had noticed you two getting up and of course called you both out, “what’re two ladies up too”

“bestie time, which happens to be none of your business jj” sarah voices with a laugh, jj hands shooting up in defense. john b had told y’all to have fun and be careful before you both had head off which sarah nodded too and reminded him that the both of you aren’t going far.

once you both got out of sight of the pogues and the beautiful lit up backyard you finally asked sarah your dying question. “sar, where the hell are you taking me!” “just shut up and follow me!” the girl giggles loudly, pulling your arm to her liking while you just follow her every which way through the woods. after a couple of more seconds of jogging, you both made it to a huge flower field with a variety of different bright colored flowers. the sight widening your eyes and making them glow brightly with awe and amazement. you absolutely love flowers.

sarah pulled you in a bit closer, dropping your hands to throw her arms out to show you the field. a quirky “ta-da” leaving her lips, a bright smile itching on her face at your reaction to all of the flowers in front of you. “i-its so beautiful, sarah” you whisper, staring ahead once more before you met the brown orbs of your best friend. “cmon girl, let’s get settled” sarahs hands went back to touch your warm ones and began to once more pull you deeper into the field until she found a good spot to put everything.

she then took the backpack she was carrying on her back off to open it, pulling out some things for you and her. she pulled out a lengthy, fluffy blanket and some plain headbands. you held the headbands in your hands while sarah laid out the blanket on the field of petals. once she was done and sure there weren’t anymore crinkles she motioned you to get settled down on the blanket with her.

sarah pearly whites were blinding as she smiled at you with love and happiness.

“i remember how much you loved flowers when we were little. you would always make me cute flower headbands and find the prettiest flowers for me to wear in my hair. when i was… gone, everytime i spotted a blooming flower while running from the world, i always thought of you. so i remember seeing this field and i just had to show you before anymore shit goes wrong, i also got you something while i was in nassau”

sarah stopped talking momentarily to reach in the pockets of her backpack, pulling her hand out and revealing a beautiful, gold necklace that had an alstroemeria flower charm dangling on it. the sight making you tear up, a little giggle leaving you while you tried to fan the incoming tears away from your eyes. sarah laughed a teary giggle as well before placing the jewelry in your hand, her fingers clinging to yours. locking both of your hands together.

“a awesome girl i met named cleo helped me with it, the flower symbolizing friendship. i knew i had to get it for you” she finished her words with a bunny like smile, cooing with defeat when she saw a tear drop from your eyes.

“ohh noo, don’t cry baby” sarah whined while holding her own happy tears, her fingers coming up to swipe at the bottom of your eyes. wiping the moisture away while moving your curls away and out from your face. “i love you so much, sarah. you’re such a caring person and an incredible friend anyone could want, i will forever be grateful for you. thank you so much for being in my life” you finished with a smile of your own, sarah immediately pulling you into a heart-clenching hug.

her arms clinging onto you tightly, yours just squeezing her with the same amount of tightness. the both of you rocking back and forth as you both embraced eachother. you pulled back from sarah with a laugh and a grin, “i think you would look even more beautiful with a flower crown on your head, don’t you think?”

sarah chuckled, a her head moving up and down in a nod of conformation. “lets do it”

──── ੈ♡˳ ༘ ੈ♡˳ ༘° ੈ♡˳ ༘° ੈ♡˳ ༘° ੈ♡˳ ༘°────

permanent taglist 🏷 / @dummiesshort @itstaskeen @itscaminow @blossomparkers @sunsetholland @bi-lmg07 @hallecarey1 @fairyprettygirly @dreamy-clousds @genyaspoison @teenwolfbitches28 @justsomethings-things @lilostif16

outerbanks taglist 🏷 / @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @chasemadyln @aayaissaa @maybanksslut

[plus-size-reader]

Lover-boy

Spencer Reid x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1509 words

Warnings: none 

Summary: Calling Spencer on the phone at work and accidentally outing your relationship to his team

——————————————————————————————————

You and Spencer had agreed to keep the relationship you shared between the two of you. 

Considering you worked on the same team, and were also very reliant on each other in the field, it could be considered a conflict of interest if anyone found out. 

You were pretty good at keeping it together. However, there were occasions when you were bound to slip up. You were human and sometimes it happened. 

Today, for example, you were home for the day with a terrible head cold, and you wanted nothing more than to take a nap...but that simple thing kept alluding you. 

No matter what you did, you couldn’t seem to get any rest. 

So, after tossing and turning for what felt like hours, you picked up your phone and dialed the all too familiar number. You knew that he was likely busy, either with a briefing or on the jet but you just had to hope he’d find the time. 

You needed to hear his voice, and then maybe, once you did, you’d feel better. 

Spencer’s phone rang a few times before he answered, only faltering slightly when he read your name on his caller I.D. There could have been a million reasons for your call, but it was impossible to tell which it could be. 

Maybe you needed help, or you’d found some information on the case while you were resting. 

The only way to know what happened would be to answer the phone and ask you himself so that’s exactly what he did. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” he asked, giving Morgan a gentle nod when he looked at him, silently asking him what was wrong. It was something he did often, but if only he knew the truth. 

There was nothing wrong at all. 

In fact, more than losing your sleep and your runny nose, you were absolutely fine. 

“I’m fine Spence, I just can’t sleep” you sighed, your voice taking on an almost whiny tone as you reclined back against your pillow. Your head was throbbing, for whatever reason, but you didn’t care. 

Right now, you were just letting Spencer occupy your every thought. It was so much easier to just let his voice bathe your ears, as you relaxed into the sheets of your shared mattress.

That got Spencer’s attention, of course, but he knew he had to be careful about how he responded. After all, he was on a jet with several other behavioral analysts. 

They would all know the truth if he spoke too freely, and that would be all on him if he outed your secret to the team. 

Still, he wasn’t about to leave you hanging. 

“I was worried. Is there anything I can do to help?” he wondered, mouthing your name to Hotch where he was sitting. By this point, everyone had caught on to the fact he was taking a call, and that wasn’t going to just change. 

Never would Spencer had expected his team to just let something go, especially not something like that. 

“I’m sitting here in my scooby doo pajamas, staring at the ceiling and I need you to read me to sleep” you suggested, knowing exactly what you were asking. You were both adults but in your sickness, that wasn’t what you were thinking about.

All you wanted was to hear his voice as you finally drifted off to sleep. 

...And as hard an ask as it was, Spencer knew that he needed to do something about it. It wasn’t too much for him, but it would be hard to navigate without being found out. 

Spencer read to you almost every night before the two of you turned in and it always put you right to bed, no matter what he was reading. However, this was the middle of the day and he wasn’t alone.

It would be a little difficult to explain. 

“I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea-” he started, immediately hearing your various grumbles and huffs as you thought about it, pouting undoubtedly. You often did that when you were at a loss. 

Especially when you didn’t feel good. It was only natural, a human response in desire for comfort and relief from the pain. 

“Please Spence, some sleep will make me feel so much better” you begged, burying your face deep in your pillow as you grumbled some more, stretching out completely in the sheets. 

Who was he to argue with something like that? 

In all the time that he’d known you, both at work and romantically, there was nothing Spencer wouldn’t do for you and even now, with the added risk, he wasn’t about to refuse. 

Even if it would be a little hard to explain to the rest of your team. 

“Okay, how about this?” he tried, rummaging through his shoulder bag to find the novel he’d been reading. It was a composition of Kurt Vonnegut that you bought for his birthday, and while he had read it all before, you loved hearing him read it. 

It was one of your favorite things. 

“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt…” he started, flicking through the pages with his phone held between his jaw and his shoulder, his voice filling you with comfort as you listened. 

It made you feel that much better already, much better than you had before and you owed that all to him but while you were out in a few minutes after he started reading, Spencer still had a lot of explaining to do. 

“Did she finally fall asleep?” 

The voice, belonging to Derek Morgan, came suddenly though not fast enough to actually startle the young man in front of him. He could hear you snoring lightly into the phone, which prompted him to hang up before answering. 

“Who?” Spencer replied, shocked at the very suggestion. He hoped that if he denied it enough his friend would give it up, but that wasn’t going to happen. 

He knew that was never going to happen. 

Derek could be relentless when he thought he found something, and this was the biggest thing he had on Spencer for quite a while. If he could bust the kids balls a little, he wasn’t going to pass that up. 

Besides, the rest of the team had been trying to catch the two of you in this whole romantic subplot for weeks and they weren’t about to stop now. It wasn’t in Derek’s nature to ignore something like that. 

“Y/N loverboy, did she get to sleep okay?” he repeated, hoping Spencer would just give it up. 

You two had been inseparable in the BAU all this time, and it was no secret that you had moved in together a few months ago. After all, the FBI paid close attention to their agents. 

A change of address wasn’t something that could just slip through the cracks, especially not when Penelope Garcia was in charge of all those files. 

She had a sneaking suspicion about you two getting cozy weeks ago and after a bit of her own digging, she had practically confirmed it. However, it seemed like Derek was going to get there first. 

“She doesn’t feel well and she likes it when I read her to sleep. I’m sorry if I disturbed you” Spencer shrugged, knowing well enough that he’d been caught. There was no use lying to Morgan. 

Derek was the most perceptive profiler that Spencer had ever met and even if he tried to lie, Spencer had never been too good at that. 

“Don’t apologize kid, I’m happy for you” he grinned, patting the lanky male on the shoulder as he passed, heading toward the back of the plane to get a coffee. 

This flight was far from over, and if anything, Derek was just glad you two had finally gotten to a place where you could be open and honest about what it was between you. 

Hiding it was getting embarrassing. 

~

“I cannot believe you and Reid have been together all this time and you never said anything!” Penelope yelled, in your face as soon as you entered the office, shocking you at her perception. 

You had not been expecting this on your first day back. 

“Garcia, can I please finish my coffee before the interrogation begins?” you laughed, having been waiting for this conversation since Spencer came home last night, rambling about how strange Derek was acting. 

You just didn’t know she’d be on your case so soon. 

“No ma’am, you deserve this interrogation if not more. You didn’t tell me, your bestest friend in the whole world?” she teased back, poking you in the face gently as she walked with you. 

She felt left out, and you were going to be hearing about this for several weeks, and you deserved that. It was just going to take a lot of time to make this up to her. 

Luckily for you, Penelope had never held a grudge for long and it was only a matter of time before she forgave you. 

[imagine-docx]

interested.

Summary: Being best friends with Bucky, he always thinks you’re trying to get with Steve, when in reality, that is far from the truth. [college!chubby!]

Warnings: Swearing.

A/N: helloooo, i know i have been practically dead. but post secondary really ain’t it chief. here’s a small chub buck fic before i go back into the void that is my 3 hour online zoom lectures. - amanda 💛

»»————-　★　————-««

First year religion, with Professor Hill was quite possibly the most boring class to exist, but hey, that’s how you met Bucky Barnes. First year religion was a mandatory course that you had to take for psychology, and Bucky had to take for history. During the first lecture Prof Hill made you turn to the person next to you and discuss ideas, which happened to be Bucky. 

The two of you felt so comfortable with each other, that you were always sitting next to each other during lectures, and eventually becoming the bestest of friends. To the point where you two spent breaks together, Friday nights together, hell he even came to a few of your classes, even though he shouldn’t be there as he wasn’t enrolled in them. 

Even Bucky was surprised at this close friendship. He always had the small thought in the back of his mind saying, “She’s just using you for an easy ninety. Once the semester is over, she’s gone.” But to his surprise, here you were in your fourth year, still as strong as ever. 

He could pinpoint the moment he realized he was in love with his best friend. 

Second year, it was a random party that Thor was holding around early November. You were wearing a basic grey long sleeved shirt, some dark blue ripped jeans, and a pair of heels. You were dancing with Nat and Wanda, and he felt the switch in him flip, and he saw you in an affectionate way.

Needless to say, he left the party and went through a crisis at two am in the back of an Uber, at his new realization. 

Since that day, he kept his feelings to himself. Not even telling his best friend Steve about the feelings he harboured towards you. 

He always felt insecure whenever he was around you. You were always glowing, even when you had no makeup on and were in sweats on the days you had 9 am lectures. You were always this ball of sunshine that anyone would be glad to hang out with. But here he was, stomach protruding over the top of his jeans, sweaters used to hide how thick his arms actually were, and all around embarrassed about the way he looks. You could never possibly like someone like him back.

»»————-　★　————-««

It was the rare Friday night, where the two of you couldn’t meet because you had a gender studies essay to write, and he had an essay due for ancient civilizations. But, of course, the two of you were on FaceTime.

“You going to Thor’s party tomorrow?” He asked, typing in his name and student number.

“Depends, I still have three readings and a discussion post over my head for Drax.” You responded, finishing up the last sentence.

“You should come, you’ve been pulling essays out of your ass since the semester started. You need to have some fun,” Bucky said, studying your face as you yawned.

“Perks of being a social science major,” you responded, making slight adjustments to your essay.

“Please?” He begged, “I need my best friend there.”

“We will see.”

»»————-　★　————-««

God, three years later, and he still didn’t understand how you pulled off every look possible. Last night you were in one of his hoodies, hair greased, and no makeup on. Today you were pulling off a slightly oversized band tee, some ripped jeans, hairstyled and effortless makeup.

“Didn’t expect you to be around here, thought Drax owned you tonight” Bucky jokes.

“Thought about it. But a certain Brooklyn boy talked me into coming. There’s always pulling an all nighter tomorrow night,” you said, taking a drink from your cup.

“Glad to know I am useful.”

The two of you spent a good chunk of time talking by the bar. The two of you didn’t stop until Sam pulled him away for some beer pong. 

You debated going over to your friend group, but from where you were, it looked like they were wasted out of their minds. And talking to them will probably result in them drunkenly saying that you should fess up and admit your crush to Bucky. And knowing your exact luck, he would be around, and that would be a hard hole to dig yourself out of. 

You decided that you were gonna get some peace in the kitchen. You were sitting on one of the counters, hearing drunken screams, while scrolling through Instagram. 

“You know, it would be easy to tell him how you feel,” you look up to match the voice to the person, only to see Steve.

“And I am assuming Nat did some drunk mumbling to you,” you mumbled, looking down into your cup.

“Or anyone with eyes could see the way the two of you look at each other,” Steve said, leaning against the fridge next to the counter you sat on.

You let out a sigh, “He doesn’t see me in that way. I’m just his best friend.”

“He looks at you like you hung every single star in this galaxy. I should know, I was told I look like that when I look at Nat.”

You laughed and punched him in the bicep, “At least the loverboy admits it.”

Bucky was looking for you, passing by the kitchen he saw that you and Steve were smiling, laughing and talking. He never realized how much of a couple the two of you looked like. Absolutely perfect for each other.

He felt nauseous and decided to head home. Of course you wouldn’t like him, you liked guys who were fit, like Steve. An absolute sweetheart, like Steve. Someone who could care for you, like Steve. Steve.

»»————-　★　————-««

The next morning, he saw that you were calling and kept the talking to a minimum, saying he didn’t feel good and hung up.

He needed to get his feelings in check before he exploded. 

From then on, he always scheduled stuff with Steve too. You deserved it.

You deserved happiness, even if it was with Steve and not him. 

He would make coffee dates on campus, and never show up. Or invite you for movie night at the apartment, and at the absolute last second ‘have his shift extended’ at work.

»»————-　★　————-««

At some point, he just started blatantly ignoring you. From phone calls, to texts, to even practically running away from you.

The last straw for you was the day your sociology professor let you go early for the day. And you were already feeling under the weather, so you just decided to head back to your dorm, and spend the rest of your day taking it easy. 

While you were walking down the tunnel from your class, you saw an all familiar head of hair walking in the opposite direction. You shouted his name several times, and practically ran after him. And you knew he saw and heard you, but continued to walk away from you.

You finally stopped, realization hitting you. He doesn’t like you anymore, and you don’t know what you did. You took a deep breath, turned around and walked back to your dorm.

You sat on your bed, confused as to what the fuck you did to him for him to do this. At that point, you gave him the space he wanted. You stopped texting him, calling him, even going over to his apartment.

»»————-　★　————-««

What caused Bucky to do all of this? Two days prior, he finished his contemporary civilizations class and was on his way to the student centre to get something to eat before his colonial encounters class. 

When he walked into the centre, he was greeted with you and Steve sitting at a table, laughing about something, while drinking bubble tea. 

He felt something stab him in the chest. It’s supposed to be him. He’s supposed to be the one taking you out for bubble tea. He’s supposed to be the one making you laugh like that.

It was then he realized, he didn’t set up this meeting. He drew the conclusion, that he pushed the two of you closer together, and that neither of them wanted him to know.

He knew he was acting childish. But he didn’t care.

»»————-　★　————-««

Since the encounter after your sociology class, you haven’t messaged him, called him, or even made the effort to see him. It was starting to bother him. He felt empty.

He missed the random texts he would get from you about something stupid in your readings. Or the ‘I accidentally watched too much Netflix, and my discussion post is due in an hour and I have NOTHING’ texts. Or you randomly calling in the middle of the night asking him if he wanted to meet up for milkshakes. 

All he would see was Instagram stories or posts of you. Whether it was you at a party getting wasted with your friends, or if it was you being cozy and studying, or you and your friends doing late night stupidity. He missed having you around.

Every single thought he has, would be of you. What were you doing? Who were you hanging out with? Did you get enough sleep? Did you eat anything for the day?

He eventually decided to start essays early just so his thoughts weren’t fogged by you.

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky was wrapping up his notes on his latest reading. As he closed his textbook, he felt something collide with the back of his head. He turned around to see Steve sitting on his bed. “What?”

“Why are you ignoring her?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bucky turned back around.

“You damn well know what I am talking about. So, answer the question, why are you ignoring her?” Steve asked.

“Why do you care? That’s your girlfriend.” Bucky seethed. 

A laugh erupted from Steve, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Then why do the two of you act like it.” He muttered.

“Because she’s giving me pointers on asking out Nat,” he responded, “I bet you feel so stupid.”

Bucky turned back around in shock, “Wait, you’re not dating her?”

“Never was. It’s cute seeing how jealous you are,” Steve said, getting up, “Go get your girl.”

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky has never sprinted out of his apartment so fast. He was about to walk up the stairs leading to your dorm, when he was about to open the door, the door opened revealing Carol. “Oh hey Buck. What are you doing here? You know she moved out like last month right?” she asked.

He never realized that you left the dorms, hell he didn’t even know where you were now. “Oh yeah, force of habit.” He nervously laughed.

“Anyways, I’m late for my date. Tell her I said hi!” She said walking off.

»»————-　★　————-««

Bucky returned to the apartment and was pacing around. He didn’t know where you could have gone. Nat and Wanda had no space, so you wouldn’t be there. Your parents were way too far out, and you wouldn’t want to commute all the way back. His mind was running through possibilities. 

Steve and Sam were just looking on at the spiral that was occurring in front of them. “Does he…?” Sam asked.

“Nope.” Steve responded.

“Ah.” Sam responded.

“Where could she have gone though? I don’t get it.” Bucky said to himself. 

“Can I tell him?” Steve asked.

“Nah.” Sam said.

“Wait, you guys know where she is? Why don’t you tell me?” Bucky said with despair laced in his voice. 

Sam sighed, “Nat and Wanda.”

And with that Bucky practically sprinted out the door. 

»»————-　★　————-««

Wanda and Nat were out for the night, leaving you in the living room finishing up your essay for sociology. Wrapping it up, you slapped the submit button, and headed for the shower.

Upon getting out and changing into some sweatpants and hoodie, you were contemplating what you wanted to eat. Until you heard a knock on the door, confused, you opened it to Bucky, you were about to close it but he managed to let out a, “Can I talk to you?”

You were about to say, “No.”

But once you heard his voice cracked, when he said, “Please,” your heart broke, and accepted talking to him.

»»————-　★　————-««

The two of you sat on top of the building overlooking the city. Bucky was looking at the view of the city, whereas, you were sitting on the bench. 

He took note that you were shivering, and he shrugged off his jacket, wrapping you up in it. You were trying to shrug it off, when he said, “You’re gonna get sick.” You accepted that he was probably gonna tie you up in it so you don’t take it off, so you kept it on.

“So why did you ignore me?” You said, looking down at your feet.

“I thought you were dating Steve, and I got jealous. I know I pushed the two of you together, but I still couldn’t bear the thought of him being the one dating you.” He muttered, taking a seat next to you.

“Wait, you were jealous? Why?” You asked, confusion laced your voice.

“I really like you, god I’ve liked you for so long and you deserve someone better than me. Someone who’s fitter, someone who’s better looking, someone you would want to be seen with.” He said, looking down at his feet, hair falling into his face.

You pushed the hair out of his face, “No. I deserve someone who is willing to pick me up for burgers and milkshakes at 3 am. I deserve someone who is willing to drop anything they're doing to come and spend time with me. I deserve someone who would respond to my psych readings, even though they aren’t in my program. I deserve you.”

“You like me?” Bucky stammered.

“Wasn’t it obvious?” You asked. “I thought me calling you at three am because I missed you was obvious.

He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer, kissed your hair before muttering an, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m only accepting your apology under one condition,” you said.

He looked at you with the biggest eyes ever. Ready to do anything you even asked for. “Get bubble tea with me?” You asked.

“How about tomorrow we take a trip out of the city, to a zoo or aquarium, and bubble tea?” He said with pleading eyes.

“Only if it’s a date,” you said smiling at him.

“Anything for you.” he said, finally leaning into kiss you.

[supernatural-jackles]

The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 6

Title: The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 6

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 5,106

Warnings:  Angst, Mentions of Periods, Pregnancy, Tears, Mentions of Abuse, Cheating, Depression, Toxic Relationships, Fluff. 

Summary:  Driving down the road, going well over the speed limit. You come across a man walking in the opposite direction with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. His head cast down as he walked. Your gut instinct is telling you to check on this man, no matter what your parents told you growing up. Little did you know just how much this would change your life.

The Man on the Side of the Road - Masterlist

A/N: I hope y’all enjoy this part! As always feedback is greatly appreciated!! Happy Reading!!!!

You loved Friday’s. They were your absolute favourite day of the week. It was the end of the school week. Your classes finished at noon. You had the entire weekend to look forward to and you couldn’t wait to sleep in as late as you wanted to. It was the first weekend since school started that you had off. No working at the hospital. No interruptions. Just a weekend of you time.

 You had a lot planned this weekend, in a good sense anyways. There was so much that needed done in the short amount of time you had. You knew you couldn’t put it off any longer. It was all necessary things. Dean had given you the car for the day, and you dropped him off at work this time around. He was going to continue working on baby on Sunday, and you agreed to come with him. He wanted to teach you a few things about cars, as he put it anyways. You had to get some laundry done. It was your turn to do the groceries.

 You walked off campus, heading towards your car to leave for the day. It was a cooler day than most had been. You were having a really off day, and you couldn’t take your mind off of everything. You didn’t know if there was something going on, or if it was just the day itself. Something just felt off. You needed to get some air and take some time for yourself.

 “Y/N, wait up!” a voice called out from behind you. The person was too far away for you to recognize their voice, but by the sounds of it, it was a girl. You turned around to find Ruby running towards you with her bag. A slightly panicked look on her face.

 “Hey!” you smiled at her.

 “I have an emergency,” she called out, almost completely out of breath. Her brown hair clinging to her face just a little. “I just got my period, and I don’t have anything. Do you?”

 “Of course I do,” you nodded. You opened up your bag, reaching in the side pocket to grab her a tampon out of it. You were always prepared for those days. Having an accident once changes everything. “Here.”

 “You are a lifesaver! Thank god we’re on the same cycle,” she breathed out. “I gotta go, I’ll see you Monday morning. Have a good weekend with Dean.”

 “Thanks,” you smiled. Ruby took off towards the campus a little slower than she was before. You knew her next class didn’t start for another half hour. She had time to get ready before then.

 You opened up your car door, slipping inside. You put your bag in the passenger’s seat, and pulled your phone out to plug in your music. Something Dean helped you set up. You were pretty sure he used it when he dropped you off but he would likely never admit it. Your heart completely dropped in your chest. Ruby said that she was happy you were on the same cycle, and she was more than right. You had been for the longest time. You opened up your tracking app instantly, searching to see if she was right.

 You were late. Your last period was the day before your wedding day, and it didn’t last more than a few days. Oh god no. No!

 You peeled out of the parking lot, heading straight for the drug store. Just when you thought that you were finally done with Ketch. When you were finally free of him and could move on. This had to happen. You knew you should have stayed on the pill. You knew you should have taken more care of yourself. You knew you should have kept your word about not sleeping with him until after your wedding day like you both wanted to, to make it special. This was never the plan. This was never supposed to happen. Not this soon. You weren’t ready for something like this.

 The last month and a bit had been crazy. Between leaving Ketch, finding Dean. Living with Dean, school and homework. Your mental health and his. You remember getting your last period but it was much lighter than what it was usually like. It was better to be safe than sorry. You wanted to be one hundred percent sure that you were okay. You needed to move past that time of your life and start the new beginning. You had no idea why parts of him kept coming back to you, dragging you down.

 You headed straight for the women’s health section, going straight to the end of the aisle. All the brands were there. You had no idea what test was the best. You had never been in this position before. You were always cautious up until this point. You went with the clear blue test because it was advertised the most. It had to be one of the best.

 You knew you had to get some grocery shopping done and that would help ease your mind. It was your week to do it after all, and you didn’t want to make Dean wait for his stuff. You didn’t want him to have to run out later and pick up a few things. You were already out and you had the car. The test could wait until after. The results weren’t going to change. You were going to go crazy if you went home this early.

 Dean gave you a list of a few things he needed. Shaving cream, shampoo, and razors. You figured you’d pick him up one of those pies you heat up in the oven for twenty minutes. It wasn’t homemade persay, but it would satisfy him no matter what. You had no idea what the plan was for dinner tonight so you picked up taco shells, and some other supplies to make for a good night. Then you grabbed the usual things you needed. Granola bars, fruits and vegetables, bread, chips. Before you knew it, you were one hundred and fifty dollars poorer and had groceries. The joys of being a responsible adult.

 You threw your test in one of the grocery bags before chucking them all in the trunk of the car. Dean wasn’t going to be home to help you put them away. He didn’t finish until after six. By then you’d know and you could go about your usual Friday night. Today marked six weeks since you met Dean. You wanted to celebrate a little, and that was what the pie was for. You wanted to show him you were happy he was there with you. He was the best roommate you could ever ask for.

 You pulled into your driveway, taking up half of it. You couldn’t wait to get the rest of the garage cleaned up so you could park in there, or Dean could when he got his car all fixed up. You popped the trunk. You knew you weren’t going to get all the groceries in the house in one go. It was going to be at least another two trips.

 “Need some help?” a deep voice filled your ears.

 “Dean!” you grinned, seeing him in his dirty jeans and fitted t-shirt from work. “It’s three in the afternoon. Did you get off early?”

 “Yeah. Finished everything early. Bobby has something he needs to do. He dropped me off,” he told you. He had the last two remaining bags in his hands. “I see you went grocery shopping.”

 “I picked up your stuff. It’s in one of these bags,” you chuckled.

 “We’ll find it when we put it away,” he half smiled.

 “I bought taco shells, and stuff to go with it if you want to do that for dinner,” you suggested.

 “Yeah, that sounds awesome,” he nodded. “I see you bought pie.”

 “For you,” you winked.

 “Bestest friend in the world,” he let out a laugh. “We’re having this tonight.”

 “That we are,” you agreed.

 You stuck with putting away the fruit and vegetables while Dean put away the other stuff. It was quite the team effort. It was nice to have someone help you put it away. It made it much quicker.  You were really looking forward to the dinner you had planned. Even if it was messy.

 “Uh Y/N,” Dean called out.

 “What’s up?” you questioned, turning around to look at him. Your body went rigid. He held the pregnancy test in his hand. You completely forgot you put it in one of the grocery bags, thinking he wouldn’t see it. He wasn’t supposed to be home after all.

 “Are - is this yours?” he asked calmly.

“Uh,” you sighed in defeat. “I - yeah.” Your eyes cast downwards. You were hit with it all again. The potential reality of your situation. The rest of your life was going to be determined by that test. Now Dean knew too. This wasn’t what you had planned.

 “I can sit with you if you’d like. You know, while you wait,” he offered. You glanced up, meeting his eyes, seeing the concern in them.

 “Yeah?” you breathed out nervously.

 “Of course,” he nodded.

 “Thank you,” you mouthed.

 You lead Dean to your room. He had the test in his hand. You couldn’t deny just how scared you were. The mere thought of something growing inside you was enough to make your stomach uneasy. That something was going to turn into a human one day. Something that was a part of you and a part of Ketch. You weren’t ready for that. You weren’t nearly prepared for that.

 “I’m just going to go do this,” you whispered. “I’ll let you know when you can come in.”

 “Okay,” he nodded.

 You headed in your bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You could do this. Dean was right out there with you. You weren’t doing this alone. No matter what that test said, you had Dean tonight. He was your friend. He was your best friend. He was the bestest friend you could ever ask for. He was the one here for you when no one else was.

 You pushed your jeans and panties down your legs, taking a seat on the toilet. You took the box, reading over the instructions quickly before taking the test out. You positioned it between your legs, your hand shaking profusely as you did so. You took a deep breath, trying to relax as you peed on the tiny, life changing stick.

 You grabbed some toilet paper, placing the stick on top of it on the counter before you cleaned up. You had to wait three minutes until the test would be finished. That was a fucking lifetime. You flushed the toilet and washed your hands. You didn’t want to leave the bathroom. You couldn’t. You wanted to leave knowing what was happening with your life. You took a seat on the floor, your back resting against the wall.

 “You can come in now, “ you called out to Dean. Seconds later, the bathroom door opened and Dean’s eyes scanned the room, soon falling on your figure on the floor. Dean’s lip curled up as he made his way to the floor next to you. His arm brushed against yours as he sat.

 “How long do we have to wait?”

 “Three minutes or so,” you answered.

 “I know this is probably a stupid question. I’m going to ask it anyways,” he breathed out, “are you okay?”

 “I’m trying my hardest to be, Dean,” you told him. Your lip quivered just a little.

 “I want you to know that whatever that test says; I’ll stick by you. I know that the little peanut isn’t mine, but I’ll be there,” he stated, reaching his hand over to yours, taking it in his own.

 “Dean-”

 “I mean it. You’re not going through this alone,” he declared.

 “I honestly thought I had seen the last of Ketch. I thought he was out of my life now and then this. I’m hoping that I’m not,” you told him.

 “Well, I’ve been here for a little over a month now. How late are you?” he asked you. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

 “Well, I’m pretty sure I got my period last month. I started the day before my wedding was supposed to be, but it didn’t feel like a full period,” you shared. “So it either could be a lighter period or spotting. Either way, I gotta check.”

 “Yeah, definitely,” he nodded. “I hope you’re not so you won’t have to talk to Ketch anymore. You seemed to be doing better.”

 “Me too,” you nodded.

 “Did you love him?” he asked you. If you were being honest, you were waiting for him to ask you something along those lines. Especially after he found out it was Ketch.

 “I want to be able to say yes,” you started, taking a deep breath. “I really do. At one point, my answer would have been yes. But I think I loved the idea of him more and what he came with. Our relationship wasn’t always arguments. Not in the beginning anyway.”

 “What do you mean?” he cocked his eyebrow.

 “When he asked me out the night we met, I was excited. It was the first time a guy had asked me out. It was the first time a guy had shown interest in me first, and it was strange. It was exciting. This older, good looking guy wants to take me out to dinner. Little did I know what I was in for back then. When I told my mom who I was going out with, she was ecstatic. It was the first time I felt like I had done something to make her proud of me. Everyone knew who Ketch and his family were. Ketch had connections. His parents were friends with my mom and had been for a long time according to them. Although, my dad says differently when I asked him.  All I’ve ever wanted my entire life was for my mom to love me unconditionally like my dad did. I want her to be proud of me, and care about me and I felt like Ketch made ther care. Because I was with someone who was classy, and their family was great and would take care of me. I didn’t care about any of that. I just wanted to feel like I was loved. Like I meant something to someone. That’s one of the reasons why I said yes when he asked me to marry him. I would finally do something to make my mom love me like my dad always has. I just said yes without thinking about it.  I wanted to make her happy. I wanted to make her love me. But I’ll never be the perfect daughter that she always dreamed about. I’ll never be Mrs Ketch, and the perfect housewife. Our relationship was good before everyone else got involved, that's how I know that there was a part of me that did love him. But I know that the love I had for him hasn’t been there for a lot longer than I’d like to admit.”

 “You shouldn’t have to fight for your mom’s love, Y/N,” Dean reminded you. “That’s not how it works.”

 “I know,” you nodded. “I really hope that I’m not pregnant. Not now. Not yet.”

 “You want kids?” he questioned, squeezing your hand.

 “Yeah,” you shrugged. “I’d love one or two at some point. But not like this. I want my kid to have two parents that love each other to raise them. I never pictured having one with Ketch. It would have been just like my parents when I was growing up. I don’t want to put them through a divorce at twelve and weekends at dads. I want to raise mine completely different. My kid is never going to doubt my love for them. They are never going to feel the regret and disappointment I felt when my mom looked at me. They are never going to doubt whether they are beautiful or smart. They are going to know that I’m proud of them everyday.”

 “If you are, whatever you decide, I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured you. “You’re going to make an amazing mother. I don’t doubt that for a second.”

 “Thank you,” you breathed out.

 “And for the record, your mother doesn't know what she is missing out on. It really sucks to be her, because you are amazing. I’m proud of you. I’m proud to be your friend, hell I’m proud to know you. You are going to have a family someday. You’re going to marry someone and he’s going to be the luckiest guy in the world.”

 “I really hope you’re right,” you breathed out. “And for the record, I’m proud of you too, Dean. I’m proud of you everyday. I don’t tell you that enough. You’re doing so good. I wish you could see it from where I am.”

 “Me too,” he nodded. “I’m only doing so good ‘cause I’ve got a badass on my side.”

 “Oh stop,” you giggled. “Can you check the test for me? I’m too scared.”

 “Yeah,” he breathed out, releasing your hand. He pushed off the wall, standing up tall before heading over to the counter. He picked the test up, carefully reading whatever was on it. “Negative. Not pregnant.”

 “Thank fucking god,” you breathed out, burying your head in your hands. You let out a sob of relief. That was the final straw. You were completely free from Ketch. It was all over. You had no ties left.

 “Hey,” Dean muttered, taking his seat next to you once more “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

 “I know,” you sniffled. “Just scary.”

 “You’re tough,” he told you. “You can handle anything life throws at you.”

 “I’m so happy to have someone like you in my life,” you confessed. You lifted your head up, turning to look at him. He gave you a soft smile. “I wish I would have met you sooner.”

 “Me too,” he agreed. “But we’re here now.”

 “Yeah. And there is no one I’d rather spend my Friday nights with than you,” you stated. A small smile spread across your cheeks. You watched his lips curl upwards at your words. It meant the world to you that he sat with you and waited. Even more that he said he’d stick around if that test turned out to be positive. Your eyes focused on his gorgeous green eyes as you leaned over, not even thinking about it, you brushed your lips against his stubbly cheek.

 “What was that for?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

 “For saying you’d stick around if I was. No one would have done that. Not for me,” you shrugged. “And because I wanted to.”

 “C’mon,” he stood up once more. He held his hand out to you, offering to help you up. “Let’s go make some tacos. You haven’t had them Winchester style. And I’m starving.”

 It took you and Dean an hour to get everything for the tacos ready. Dean explained to you that Winchester style meant adding a lot of cheese to whatever it was. In this case, he added cheese to the taco shells before he put them in the oven. Then added it into the taco meat along with a little extra spice that he wouldn’t tell you about. You didn’t care. It was just making dinner with him that you loved the most.

 Sitting down and eating it together was even better. Watching him try and eat the taco without making a mess made you laugh more than anything. There was a part of you that thought he was trying to make you laugh, but even he couldn’t do some of it on purpose. It was nice of you to relieve the tension from the day. It was really nice to have someone to laugh with. Someone who understood you.

 “Let’s just put these in the dishwasher. I don’t feel like doing the dishes tonight,” you suggested.

 “Me either,” he chuckled. “What do you want to do tonight?”

 “You wanna have a campfire out back? I picked up marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate when I went grocery shopping.”

 “Yeah lets do that,” he said with excitement. “I haven’t had a s’more in a long time.”

 You had to grab a sweater from your room before you headed outside. It was getting colder at night now that fall was on its way. Sure the campfire would keep you both warm, you just needed something a little extra, just in case. Dean had grabbed an oversized hoodie from his room. It was far too big, even for him. He looked comfortable in it. It made you smile to see it hang off his body.

 You were able to get the fire started with just a few logs you had. Dean had brought over the table so you could put the box of graham crackers on and the marshmallows. You took a seat on the swing right by the fire pit. It had been years since you had a campfire in the backyard. You always planned to have one, and every time it either rained or something came up.

 “Every fourth of July, my dad would have a campfire out back,” Dean began. “We’d roast hotdogs over the fire, and my little brother would always complain that his was too burnt to eat. My dad would have to cook him another one that wasn’t burnt for him to eat it.”

 “Let me guess, you had to eat the burnt one?” you giggled.

 “Yeah,” he chuckled. “I didn’t mind.”

 “You miss your brother?” you asked him.

 “Sometimes,” he shrugged. “He doesn’t want to hear from me, so I don’t really try. I got tired of the unanswered calls, and the ignored voicemails. It’s clear he doesn’t want me to be a part of his life.”

 “You said it’s been awhile since you last saw him.”

 “Seven years,” he breathed out. “He never came back when dad died.”

 “That’s rough,” you frowned. “Have you tried visiting? It’s kind of hard to avoid someone if they are right there.”

 “Yeah I’ve thought about it. But what’s the point?”

 “Just to see him. He may not care, but it’s very clear to me that you do,” you pointed out. “I have a week off coming up in the middle of October. Why don’t you take some time off work and we can take a road trip to see him? And if he doesn’t, then we can explore. Road Trips are fun. Maybe you’ll have baby done by then too.”

 “You’d really go on a road trip with me? It’s like a thirty hour drive,” he reminded you.

 “So? We can stop along the way. I’ve only been outside Kansas like twice. We’d have the week. We could take turns driving.”

 “I’ll think about it,” he nodded with a soft smile. “Thanks for the offer.”

 You started roasting your first marshmallow, trying to get it as perfect as you could. You wanted a nice golden brown before you could eat it. You knew that somehow, someway, you were going to burn it. The odd time, you glanced over at Dean, taking him in the best you could when you did. He really was doing much better. He was getting better and better everyday that went by. That’s all you wanted.

 Your phone buzzed in your front pocket, catching you completely off guard. You reached in, pulling it out. Ruby’s name spread across the top of your screen, along with her picture. You had no idea why she was calling. As far as you know, she had plans for the night. She usually did on Friday nights. You slid your thumb across the bottom of the screen.

 “Hey Ruby,” you greeted her, “everything okay?”

 “What? Yeah,” she asked confused. “Are you sitting down?”

 “Uh yeah. Why?”

 “I’m about to tell you something and I don’t know how well you’re going to take this,” she said nervously. “You didn’t hear this from me okay? I’m sure you’re going to hear it from more than just me but I had to be the first one.”

 “Ruby, you’re making me really nervous here. Can you just spill it? How bad can it be?” you asked her.

 “Jo’s four months pregnant,” she revealed. You swore your heart sank in your chest. You felt a lump forming in your throat.

 “Is - is it-”

 “Yeah. It’s Ketch’s,” she breathed out. “She told us all earlier tonight. Ketch is the only one she’s been with for a while now.”

 “Did she tell you how long they had been - been together?”

 “Two years. Y/N, I’m really sorry,” she said sadly. “You know I would have told you if I knew sooner than I did. I just found out tonight. Suzy knew the whole time. Anna didn’t know, and she’s pissed for you. I’m not going to talk to her anymore, I promise. I’m really sorry.”

 “It’s fine,” you breathed out, tears welling up in your eyes. “I’m fine. I’m okay. Look, I’m going to go.”

 “Y/N, don’t bury this underneath everything like you’ve been doing,” she warned you.

 “Ruby. I’m okay,” you reassured her. “I’m okay. I’m happy that everyone is going to find out about this.”

 “A lot of people already know,” she shared. “That’s why I had to tell you before you found out from someone else.”

 “Thanks for telling me,” you muttered.

 “You’re sure you’re okay?”

 “Yeah I’m fine. I’m just going to continue my night with Dean. Nothing has changed,” you stated. “See you when I see you.”

 “What was that about?” Dean furrowed his brows.

 “Uh, that was Ruby,” you took a deep breath. “Jo is four months pregnant. It’s his.”

 “W-what?” his jaw dropped.

 “They’ve apparently been together for two years. Behind my back,” you whispered. “Thank god that test was negative.”

 “I know you said you’re fine on the phone, but are you really?” he questioned.

 “No. I’m not,” you shook your head. “I feel like I wasted the last three years of my life with someone who literally lied, cheated, and abused me. God knows what else to me.”

 “Don’t blame yourself for this, Y/N,” he frowned.

 “It’s hard not to, Dean,” you sniffled. “I spent so much time trying to fix everything when he didn’t care nearly as much as I did. I feel like a fucking idiot. Two years he was with my best friend. Two years! I - I don’t even know what to think right now.”

 “You’re not an idiot,” he stated, reaching his hand over to you. “It says a lot about him. Not you. You were faithful the entire time. You did nothing wrong in this. You have a right to feel absolutely everything you’re feeling.”

 “I should have trusted my gut when it told me that Ketch and I weren’t going to last. I should have trusted myself more and not him,” you whispered. “I should have gotten out sooner.”

 “It’s going to be okay, Y/N. You’re going to be okay,” he reminded you.

 “I’m totally selling my wedding dress tomorrow,” you sniffled. “Could make a couple grand off it. Not my money anyways. I don’t want a single reminder of him in her. Not a single thing.”

 “Sounds like a good idea,” he nodded. “C’mere. Let’s just enjoy the evening by the fire.” Dean opened his arm for you to move into. For a second, you were hesitant, but eventually, gave into his embrace. You didn’t want to admit just how much you needed it. You felt this ache in your chest from the damage that Ketch has caused. Sure he was going to look like an asshole, and that made you feel pretty good. But Ketch was the first guy who told you he loved you. He was the first guy who showed interest in you. Who’s to say what happened with him won’t happen with the next person you were with. You weren’t the kind of girl that guys drooled over. You were simple, and you had a shit ton of issues with you. No one was going to want to be with someone like you. Someone that needed fixed.

 You weren’t fucking good enough.

 “You feel better?” he asked you.

 “I wish I could say yes,” you swallowed hard. “But I don’t.”

 “That’s okay. I’d be concerned if you did,” he let out a dry chuckle. “For the record, Ketch is a dick.”

 “Oh I know,” you let out a laugh. “I should probably tell you that I have emergency money stashed in my room. In case I see him, punch him in the face and get arrested.”

 “Good to know,” he smiled. “I meant what I said earlier. Anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

 “How is a guy like you single?” you inquired. “You’re cute, funny, smart. You’re one of the best cooks I know. You’re sweet. I don’t know how you don’t have girls lining up to date you.”

 “No girl wants a guy with severe depression,” he shrugged. “I’m not really a long term kind of guy.”

 “That’s fair. You’re right. No girl wants to date a guy they have to take care of,” you agreed. “You need a woman. They can handle anything.”

 “Exactly,” he laughed. “Eh, maybe I’ll put myself out there again.”

 “Yeah?”

 “Yeah, why not?” he licked his lips. “I haven’t been doing so bad lately. Maybe I’m up for a date or two.”

 “I’m proud of you,” you smiled. “You’ve come so far in such little time.”

 “I have you to thank for that. Bestest friend I could ask for. I know that it’s not going to be easy all the time, and I know there are going to be days where I feel horrible, but I know I’ve got you on those days. I know I’m going to be okay.”

 “Yeah you are,” you smiled. His words really sank in. In a way, you were jealous. He was getting better and you were slowly getting worse. Things weren’t getting easier for you, and you just couldn’t bear to put it all on Dean. He was doing good, and you didn’t want to ruin his improvement by telling him that you weren’t. It was hard enough the day you had a panic attack. It wasn’t fair to hurt someone else. You’d be okay over time. You’d survive.

 You had so far.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 7 Coming Tuesday!

Did you like it? What was your favourite part? Share your thoughts with me via reblog, reply or send me an ask! Your response is what keeps me going!

[deepgentlemenchild]

Decided to post something I guess, a trashy bakudeku angst lol

Kirishima and Kacchan had started dating over the summer holidays and everyone had been overjoyed at the news. Everyone but Izuku. Under normal circumstances he would be thrilled that his classmates found love and comfort with one another. But these weren't normal circumstances and Izuku definitely wasn't thrilled. If anything Izuku was heartbroken, horrified and overwhelmingly resentful. Izuku wouldn't usually be so selfish, normally he would move on and let them be happy. But that's kinda hard when your so in love with someone that when you find out it's undoubtedly unrequited you contract the

hanahaki disease. If you don't know what hanahaki is it's a disease that suffocates your lungs by growing flowers in them and you can only get it if the person you love doesn't love you back. There is only three options to choose from once you contract the disease, option one is getting the flowers surgically removed, but it also removes all your memories of the person, so obviously not something Izuku can do considering he is who he is because of Katsuki.Option two is them loving you back, which is a no go with the whole Kirishima thing. The last option is probably the simplest, which is dying. Now Izuku doesn't necessarily want to die, but it's better than forgetting Kacchan, he loves Kacchan with his whole being and simply can't willingly choose to forget him, and there's no way of Kacchan loving him back so he really doesn't have any other options. All he can do is pretend to be happy for the new couple and hide his life threatening disease from everyone, can't be too hard.

So remember how Deku said it can't be too

hard to pretend to be happy for Kacchan and Kirishima whilst also pretending to not be dying. Yeah, well, he forgot to mention he and Kacchan had become best friends again and Kacchan spared no details when talking about Kirishima.One night while he had been coughing his lungs out Kaminari had walked passed his door and checked on him like the caring friend/classmate he is. "Hey Midobro, you alright in there?" He asked concerned after he knocked.A few seconds passed by before Izuku admitted defeat and let Kaminari in. "H-hey Kaminari-kun," he rasped with the ghost of a smile on his lips. Kaminari looked around the dorm room, seeing all the flower petals floating around. "Oh Mido," he said sadly as he pulled the boy into a bone crushing hug.

Weeks go by and Denks is still the only classmate who knows about Izukus condition, after Denks constant insistence Izuku finally told Aizawa sensei and his mum, but absolutely refused to tell any other peers. Denks and Izuku were doing everything together from walking to and from the classroom to hanging out whenever they had spare time. "Hey Deku," Kacchan started and Izuku nodded to show he listening "Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?" Before Kacchan had finished speaking Izuku was already shaking his head. "Sorry Kacchan, but me and Denks are going watch the new All Might movie tomorrow." Izuku apologizes.

"You're spending all your free time with that dumbass, when can we hang out again?" Kacchan asked irritably.

Izuku shrugged, "Maybe later, anyway I gotta get going me and Denks are having a sleepover." Izuku beamed and Kacchan rolled his eyes before going to sit with Kirishima on the common room couch. "ZUZU!!" Denks exclaimed excitedly. "You're hereeee."

Izuku giggled lightly. "Of course I'm here Denks, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Except maybe for a certain "Kacchan" hmm?" Denks waggled his eyebrows.Izuku blushed and puffed his cheeks indignantly before bursting into a coughing fit. "Oh, shit. Sorry Zu." Denks looked upset with himself as he pet Izukus back lightly.

"No no. Don't apologize Denks, besides Kacchan asked to hangout tomorrow and I said no cuz we've already got plans," huffed

Izuku once he could open his mouth with flowers falling out.

"Gasp. The world truly is changing. But even

so it's only cuz it's to do with All Might." Denks retorted.

"Humph." Izuku pouted.

Denki laughed at the adorable display before turning on his switch so the could play Mario Cart. As the night dragged Izuku only had a total of two

coughing fits more and even won a few races. Denki had noticed a certain spikey haired blonde glaring at him when he was hanging out with Zuzu at school and in the dorms, but he couldn't figure it out. Maybe Bakubro was upset that Denki had stolen his best friend which wasn't unlikely, or something completely different. Denki decided not to confront Bakubro about or even ask Zuzu what he thought of it because he thought he was overthinking it and maybe Bakubro glaring at him was normal.

Izuku was sat on his bed without Denks for the first time in over two weeks and was really missing the comforting pats on the back as he coughed his lungs out staring at the stunning red petals that matched Kacchans eyes like nothing else. If it weren't for the fact that the flowers were killing him he would call them beautiful, but considering they were killing him he'd rather call them stunningly evil. Izukus coughs became horrid, each one making his whole body tremor and more and more tears fell out the corner of his eyes and dropped onto the petals littering his bed. "I'm so sorry Kacchan. I'm so sorry mum, Denki, All Might, Aizawa sensei. I'm so sorry everyone." Izuku whispered out into the night not knowing if he would last much longer.

The next day Izuku avoided Kacchan like the plague, even going as far as to swap seats with Kirishima so he could sit further away from him. Denks kept giving him pittying looks from where he sat, knowing his best bud didn't have much longer. Everyone in class knew something was wrong with Izuku but didn't mention it so as not to upset him. As the day went on Izuku found it harder and harder to keep his coughs in and even harder to stay away from Kacchan.

After almost coughing in class Izuku decided it was finally time he went to the nurses office. When Recovery Girl saw who it was she almost rolled her eyes. "What is it this time? Another broken bone?" She asked sarcastically. Izuku could only weakly shake his head before he started none stop coughing petals, but mainly whole flowers up. Recovery Girls eyes changed from annoyed to immense concern almost immediately. She quickly guided Izuku on a bed so he could sit down. After a couple of minutes Izuku finally stopped coughing and looked up at Recovery Girl sadly. "I-i don't think I have long left Recovery Girl." Izuku admitted as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Oh you silly boy." She shook her heard remorsefully. "You can still do the surgery you know? As long as you do it in the next twenty four hours, otherwise you're a true goner."

"I-i can't do that to Kacchan." Izuku whispered.

"Ok then love, is there anyone you want me to call so you can go home." Recovery Girl asked.

Izuku shook his head, "Can you bring Denks though," he requested instead. He didn't want his mother seeing him like this, it would make her sad and he didn't want to see her sad. Recovery Girl nodded and went to Aizawas classroom to grab Denki.

When she got to the classroom she knocked softly on the door. "Yes? What is it?" Aizawa asked through the door. Recovery Girl opened the door before speaking. "Izuku asked me get someone named Denks," she announced.

As soon as Denki heard Izukus name he shot his head up and after hearing the rest of it he jumped out of his seat and quickly made his way to the nurses office. Everyone else in the class looked perplexed besides Aizawa and Bakugo. Aizawa looked solemn where as Bakugo looked angry.

"Denks you came," Izuku spoke softly yet excitedly once he saw Denki burst through the door.

"Zu, baby. Of course I came." Denks said seriously as tears gathered in his eyes. Izuku smiled at him, though not nearly as bright as before but still as contagious as Denki smiled back sadly. They stared at each other for a long while, no words could be spoken to lessen either of their pain. The silence was eventually broken by Denki, who carefully embraced Izuku "you know Zuzu, I love you. More than anything. Your my bestest friend and the last few weeks have been the happiest of my life." Denki exclaimed as he cried the hardest he's ever cried.

"Oh, Denki. I love you too and I couldn't be happier to have you as my best friend. But you need to move on, make a new best friend. Kiris really nice." Izuku replied even softer than before. Denki just shook his head and cried harder. "I'm calling Bakugo." He announced. Izuku shook his head.

"Denki, please don't. I don't want him to feel guilty." Izuku pleaded. Denki ignored him in favour of pulling out his phone and tapping on Bakugos contact. It rang a total of three time before Bakugo picked up. "Pikachu, what's wrong with Deku?" He asked immediately. Denki shook his head, these idiots. "He's in the nurses office, come quick." Denki answered urgently before hanging up.

"He does care about you, you know that right? He may not love you like you love him but he truly cares about you." Denki finally addressed Izuku. Izuku looked away from him with more tears gathering in his eyes. Less thank two minutes had passed before Bakugo burst through the door with a panicked look on his face. Once his eyes met Deku they instantly filled with tears. "Izuku." He said softly before hugging him tightly. He looked into Izukus as if questioning him. Asking him who? Izuku looked him straight in his beautiful red eyes before kissing him straight on the lips. All of 5 seconds passed before Kacchan reciprocated and another 5 before Izuku went limp in his arms. At least I finally kissed him. Izuku thought before leaving his body to moving towards the light as tears blocked his vision.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Eighty Six

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

March 4th, 2003

Emile looked at the ring the jeweller had brought out for him to inspect. It was a little understated, just a silver band, no diamonds or other gems or even a stone put in. “Are you sure this is the one you want?” the jeweller asked. “I know you have the money, Mister Thomas, and most girls, even if they don’t say anything, prefer something they can show off to their friends...”

“It’s perfect,” Emile said, nodding at the jeweller. “Don’t worry. I know my future fiancé, he’ll love it.”

“Of course, I didn’t mean to imply...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Emile said with a kind smile. “My guy’s just that sort of special. Ring this up and we’ll be good to go.”

  May 5th, 2003

Emile was absolutely certain that if Remy weren’t so stressed, he would propose right here and now, just to try and capture the perfect smile on Remy’s face for the entire rest of the day. Remy had opened the doors of Sleep Easy that morning to find a line that was wrapping around the block and the relieved grin he had on his face as he told everyone working there to get ready was something Emile would never forget.

Toby had taken a couple pictures before Remy went back behind the counter to help out, and Emile felt at the ring box in his pocket. He wanted to ask regardless of stress, but he needed to find a quiet moment.

Emile and Toby were currently sitting in the back of the shop, at one of the tables. Emile was fiddling with his hands and glancing at Remy periodically. Toby sighed and propped his head up on one of his hands. “Okay, Emile, spill the beans. What’s got you so worked up?”

Glancing at Toby before going back to look at Remy, Emile shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he said absentmindedly.

“Either you tell me what’s up or I call Remy over here,” Toby threatened. “Because you’re looking at him like he has a bomb strapped to his chest.”

Emile tore his eyes away from Remy long enough to check if Toby was serious. And he was. “You have to promise not to tell Remy,” Emile said.

Toby gave him a look. “You don’t have a ring box, do you?” he joked.

Emile sighed and pulled out the small box from his pocket, placing it on the table. “Wait, no, I was joking!” Toby exclaimed in a hushed whisper. “Oh my god, you seriously have a ring?! Are you planning on asking him today?”

“Potentially, if there’s a quiet moment,” Emile said. “But I’m starting to suspect there won’t be.”

“Yeah, no, people just keep coming,” Toby said, eyeing the front door. “If I were you, I’d wait for a moment where Remy isn’t serving customers,” he said. “Maybe propose tonight, after the shop closes, if you do it today.”

Emile glanced over at Remy, who was talking to a woman intently over a display of cookies. “Seriously?!” Remy exclaimed, loud enough to capture both Emile’s and Toby’s attention.

The woman laughed and nodded. She passed him a card which Remy eagerly pocketed and shook the woman’s hand. Emile and Toby glanced at each other. “What was that about?” Toby asked.

“I have absolutely no idea,” Emile said.

Remy came over to the two of them, and Emile quickly hid the ring box back in his pocket. Remy, with a massive grin, slammed his hands on the table. “Do you guys know who that was?!” he exclaimed.

“No?” Toby said. “Enlighten us?”

“She’s a reporter for the local paper,” Remy said in an almost-conspiratorial whisper. “And all the commotion from today caught her eye. She said that if I can keep interest for the rest of the month, she’ll do an exposé on the shop!”

Emile blinked, before breaking into a grin. “That’s amazing, Rem! I’m so proud of you!”

Remy beamed.

“Emile took the words right out of my mouth,” Toby said. “I have no doubt that article will happen. Who knows, maybe it’ll lead to more business and happier roads ahead!”

Toby glanced at Emile and Emile instantly got the meaning: save the proposal for the interview. And Emile couldn’t agree more with that sentiment. That would be the perfect timing, if there was one.

“Oh my god, if they ask me anything about my personal life, what do I say?” Remy asked, laughing. “I mean, I don’t think I should hide that I’m gay, but like...I pay a mortgage with Emile. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that we’re together.”

“I think you should be honest, Rem,” Emile said. “I mean, anyone who’d boycott the shop because of you being gay isn’t someone I’d want in my corner anyway.”

“True,” Remy hummed. “Okay. I’ll be honest. The shop shouldn’t go under because of it, most of the people here are open-minded. It’s a college town, after all.”

“It’s a college town, you’re an amazing person, and you make a mean cuppa joe,” Toby said, sipping at his coffee with a grin. “There’s no way you could scare off all the homophobes into ruining business for you.”

Remy nodded, smiling. “Thanks for being here, both of you,” he said. “It means the world to me.”

“Nowhere we’d rather be, Rem,” Toby said, and Emile agreed.

“Remy! We need you back here!” August called.

“That’s my cue,” Remy laughed, hugging Toby and kissing Emile’s cheek. “Talk to the two of you later.”

“Later,” Emile parrotted as Remy went back to the counter. “I’m definitely proposing during the interview,” he told Toby.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Remy tried the same thing. He’s that extra,” Toby laughed.

“You know, you’re right, and I hate that you’re right,” Emile laughed. “We’ll wind up proposing at the same time, most likely.”

“He’s planning his own proposal?” Toby asked. “You guys didn’t agree that one of you would do it and leave it at that?”

“We made it a competition,” Emile laughed. “Loser has to kiss the winner.”

“How do you know who loses and who wins?” Toby asked.

Emile paused. “You know, I’m not sure we ever clarified how one of us would win when both of us are very clearly biased,” he admitted.

Toby laughed. “Oh, god. You two are both disasters. Like, I love you, of course, but you’re both disasters.”’

“Of course we are. To quote Remy, ‘If we weren’t such disasters we would have overthrown God long ago.’”

Toby cracked up. “Man, as a guy who’s still religious I’m inclined to agree with you. The two of you are unstoppable.”

“Throw in all the other gay disasters we know and it would be no contest,” Emile snickered. “God, Theo would love to overthrow a major religion like that. I’m pretty sure Clara would fret over us and make sure to bring victory snacks, Xavier would welcome our new gay overlords...it would be quite the sight.”

“Let me know when it happens, because I very much want in on the being a priest to you guys,” Toby laughed.

Emile snickered. “Oh, we’re both going to Hell.”

“No doubt,” Toby agreed.

They looked over to where Remy was working, and Emile sighed. “I do worry about him, though. He works hard, but there are days where I know he’d rather relax but can’t.”

“A tip that helped me in the old days with that: warm chocolate milk,” Toby said. “Don’t know how well it’ll work for you, but it always conked him out as a child. Now, it might not make him sleep, but it would at least be a bit of nostalgia.”

“That’s adorable,” Emile said, grinning.

“There were times where he wouldn’t even accept it from Mom or Dad because ‘Toby makes it the bestest,’” Toby said with a grin. “I love my little brother to the ends of the earth, but I suspect he loves me more.”

“He finds people who love him and he never lets them go,” Emile said with a sad smile. “I wish the reason he did that wasn’t there, but then again, without everything he went through, he wouldn’t be the man he is today.”

Toby furrowed his brows and Emile winced. “Uh, he doesn’t let go of people who love him because he’s worried that if he does they’ll just leave him when they get bored. So he works to make sure they’re never bored of him.”

“Oh,” Toby said. It was strangled, and there was so much shock and anger in that one syllable. “I would strangle our parents if I could get away with it.”

“Make sure they don’t have any more kids and we’ll call it a day,” Emile laughed awkwardly.

“God, I hope they don’t screw up as grandparents,” Toby breathed. “Like. I don’t intend on being a dad. But Vanessa...wants kids. She’s wanted kids since she was a kid. And if they ever have to stay at their grandparents’...well, I’d rather take them for a night than leave them there.”

“Frankly? I don’t blame you,” Emile said.

“You’ve met them, haven’t you?” Toby asked.

“I’ve met your mother, and frankly, I don’t even need to meet your father to understand the bulk of Remy’s trauma, and yours,” Emile said simply.

“M... my trauma?” Toby asked.

“They hurt you too, Toby,” Emile said. “That qualifies as trauma.”

“Oh,” Toby said, leaning back in his seat. “It’s different when it’s someone else. Like, yeah, Remy got really hurt by them, so I don’t blame him for using the term. But knowing that the term applies to me is...different.”

“It’s more personal,” Emile filled in. “And it’s scary. But it’s something that can definitely be worked on.”

“At least there’s hope,” Toby said with a weak smile.

“Exactly,” Emile said, pointing at Toby with a grin. “And if you ever need any recommendations for looking for a therapist, hit me up. I’ll see what I can do.”

“I might have to take you up on that,” Toby said with a shaky breath. “The holidays are a massive...what did you call it? A massive stressor. But I could probably find a use for one outside the holidays, too.”

Emile nodded. “At least you recognize it. Remy’s been really stressed lately but seems determined to stick it out on his own. I worry about him more because of that.”

Toby shrugged. “Sometimes he needs time to come around to a concept. Give him that time, and if you ever need help, drop me a line. I know how to talk to him too.”

“Do you ever use rationality on him, and does he get that grumpy almost-pout when you do it?” Emile asked with a knowing grin.

“Oh my god, yes!” Toby laughed. “And then he comes up with worst-case scenarios that both of you know wouldn’t happen, just out of stubborn spite at the fact you’re using logic?”

“And forces you to come up with a plan for what happens if you fall into a pit of invisible snakes!” Emile continued. “Oh yeah, we’ve had those talks.”

“God, I love him,” Toby said, shaking his head fondly. “Of course, to you, that scenario probably just indicates how much of an anxiety disorder he has.”

“I try not to diagnose people I know,” Emile said. “Not only because I don’t have my degree yet, but because my emotions can get in the way of a diagnosis if I get too close.”

“That’s smart,” Toby said.

“That’s therapists’ standards,” Emile said simply.

The two of them sat in companionable silence for a minute, before Toby spoke again. “I really worry about him, all jokes aside. Like, we can go for months without talking and pick up where we left off, but...those months in between when he doesn’t talk to me...they can get scary.”

“I know what you mean,” Emile sighed. “There are nights where I wake up with cold sweats from nightmares that Remy never dropped out of college and I went to his room one day to see that he’d hung himself. Fortunately, I wake up next to him to know he’s alive. I know you don’t have that luxury.”

Toby shook his head. “That’s when I usually call first thing the next morning...on the bad days. I can never get back to sleep but I wait until it’s seven before I call because I know you guys have sleep to catch up on. You don’t need to listen to my crazed, nightmare-induced ramblings.”

“I’d listen,” Emile said.

“Really?” Toby asked skeptically.

“Of course,” Emile said, turning to look at Remy, serving coffee with the biggest grin on his face as the customer complimented the store. “That’s what family does for each other.”

[bungou-stray-dingus]

I’m here again~Can I request chuuya and dazai when they see their gf crying because she had a huge fight with her best friend and now she lost her the most precious friend ever(she still had friends,but her best friend was with her since childhood) I had to deal with it long ago and it was quite painful 🥺🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗love you

I’m sorry you had to deal with something like that, it’s not easy to lose one of your closest friends, I know this, I’ve gone through the same thing with one of my bestest friends and it hurt a lot. Hopefully time will ease the pain and hurt from losing such a good friend.

Much love and happiness to you dear ❤️❤️❤️

Chuuya

You were sitting on the balcony, your phone held tight in your hand as your body shook with your sobs. He didn’t hesitate to run out onto the balcony and make sure you were okay, he thought that you had been hurt or that someone had threatened you. He tensed up, his body full of anger that he held in until you told him what was wrong.As soon as you saw him you collapsed into his arms, weeping against his chest, your tears soaking through his shirt.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, his arms wrapping around you, holding you close. You didn’t look scared, or even worried. You just looked... sad. It broke his heart to see you like this. Who had hurt you?

“Sh-she d-doesn’t.... want to t-talk to me anym-more.” You stuttered out the words through sobs and he sighed with relief that it wasn’t as serious as he feared it would be. He had met your friends a few times, they didn’t seem to like the fact that you were with him, but he never brought it up to you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, he tried his best to soothe you, switching between running his fingers through your hair or rubbing your back.

You nodded, looking up at him through dampened eyelashes with glossy eyes. Your pout was both precious and heart wrenching at the same time. He pressed his lips to your forehead before leading you back into the apartment. He sat you down on the couch and made you both a glass of wine, setting the glasses on the table in front of you.

“Talk to me, baby.” He prompted you, pulling you close to his side, letting you snuggle into him. He waited quietly for you to begin, he knew this was hard for you. You had one specific friend that was as high up your list as he was for your favorite person.

“We were talking, everything was fine. Then she just told me that she thinks we shouldn’t talk anymore.”

“Did she tell you why?”

“No... and she won’t answer any of my texts. I don’t know what I did.” You started crying again and Chuuya was torn between what to do. He would usually offer to kick the ass of the person who had hurt you, but he knew you wouldn’t agree to that. You and your friend were like sisters, you had known each other forever. The only thing he could offer was his love and support.

“How about you just give her a couple days, and then try to text her back.” He smiled down at you, and you were staring at him with such pain filled eyes he wanted to cry with you.

“Do you think it will work?” Your voice was low, a hint of hope sprinkled in your words.

“It wouldn’t hurt to try.” He said, and he silently hoped it would.

He couldn’t handle you being this sad, not that he didn’t want to deal with it, more so that it broke his heart seeing you in this state, and he didn’t know what to do to help. All he could do was hold you and let you cry it out, whispering “I love you”’s into the air, hoping that you’d hear it through your sobbing.

He tried to keep your mind as far from the pain as possible, taking you on cute dates to cafes, the movies, even the zoo. He would come home from work and quickly pull you onto his lap on the couch, grabbing the remote and settling in for the night, flipping through channels until he found one that would hold your attention.

You rarely brought it up anymore, but sometimes he’d see your face fall as you were scrolling through your phone, tears building in the corners of your eyes that you’d quickly blink away. He never interrupted those moments, he knew that you needed times like these, but he always made sure that afterwards he would give you extra love.

Dazai

You had told him that you were going to hang out with your friend this afternoon, he knew that you and your friend were close so he never objected to it. You even spent nights with her when he was on dangerous missions, she would help keep your mind busy so you didn’t worry as much about him.

He was waiting at the apartment for your return from your outing, he couldn’t wait to hear about the adventures you had today. You were always in a great mood when you came home from spending time with her, and your happiness was contagious. He wasn’t expecting you to burst through the door with tears streaming down your face, running into his arms.

“Woah, woah, woah. What happened, darling?” He asked. He had never seen you like this, so devastated, you could barely catch your breath.

“We met up at the cafe, and and and and.....” You couldn’t get the words out, you broke down again, he had to wrap his arms tightly around you to keep you from collapsing to the floor.

“Deep breaths, take your time. Let’s get you some tea, yeah?” He offered, sitting you on the couch before heading into the kitchen. He made your tea the way you liked it and handed you the cup. You held it in shaky hands and took a small sip.

“We were talking, everything was fine.... then she.... she said that I’ve changed since being with you. I didn’t get it, because I don’t think I’ve changed.... I got kind of defensive, I told her that she was being silly and that I haven’t changed at all. She said that you weren’t a good boyfriend because you leave all the time... and I got mad because that’s not true, you’re a great boyfriend.”

“She sounds kind of jealous.” He said, and you shook your head.

“I don’t think she’s jealous... I think she just cares about me.... she sees how upset I get when you leave for missions, but thats just because I’m worried about you.” He nodded slowly. He never truly understood that toll it took on you when he left. “She said that I should leave you, that I would be happier without you. I got mad, I yelled at her, and she started yelling back. She doesn’t understand how much I love you.”

“So you fought with her?”

“Yeah, and she said that if I wanted to live my life being dragged down by you than that’s up to me, but she wasn’t going to stand by and watch it happen. She stormed out of the cafe, and I thought she would come back, but after an hour she didn’t.... I tried to call her, but she blocked my number....” You started crying again and he felt so bad about it, like it was his fault that you had lost your best friend. He didn’t know what to say. He surely didn’t want you to leave him because your friend had told you to, but if that’s what you decided to do, he wouldn’t fight you on it. You had known your friend much longer than you had known him, the two of you were like sisters.

“Do you want to try and go see her?” He asked, and you shook your head quickly.

“I don’t think I’d be able to handle her slamming a door in my face.” You mumbled.

“Do you think she would come back.... if I were out of the picture?” He asked, and your head shot up. You looked at him with the saddest eyes, your bottom lip was trembling.

“No. I’m not losing you too. You’re as much a part of me as she is. Don’t leave me.” You whimpered the last part as a tear trickled down your cheek. He quickly kissed it away, then peppered more kisses across your face. He felt awful for even suggesting it.

“I’m not. I won’t. I’d never. It’s her loss. You’re an amazing woman Y/N. She’ll realize it soon enough. She’ll come back.”

He spent the next couple days cheering you up. He would come home from work with flowers and little trinkets that caught his eye, little things that would bring a small smile to your face. He’d never bring it up, but he’d always listen when you wanted to talk about it. He’d hold you tight, letting you cry on his shoulder when you’d get choked up while talking about the memories you had with your friend.

He knew what it was like to lose someone that you were so close with. It was like losing family, and sometimes the wounds never healed. Sure, your friend hadn’t died, but to you it felt like she did. He’d wipe the tears from your face whenever you’d lay in bed, crying while you mourned over the friendship that you had lost.

It took a while, but after a month you got in contact with other friends that you had, and you’d even start hanging out with them. You’d return home with a smile, it wasn’t the same smile you’d have when you went out with your old best friend, but it was something, and it was something that he had missed and he was beyond happy to see it coming back.

[utopianvoices]

fortuite | k.hongjoong

∞ genre: roommates au; fluff

∞ word count: 5.36k

∞ description: Something had been bugging you for quite some time now—and no, it wasn’t the bug infestation in your room.

∞ a/n: happy birthday to the sweetest, prettiest and bestest friend, @curanonemu​! i’m sorry for being a lazy ass and not posting this earlier but i hope you like it, darling :’) i love u so much hehe! x

∞ warnings: explicit language

i.

There were very few things that could ruin your day; you believed that patience and endurance was the key to living a happy life. So other than the occasional bad grade or last minute assignments, you were sure nothing else would upset you. 

That’s what you thought; until you walked into your shared apartment, just to see half the things missing. More specifically, your roommate’s things. 

With confusion taking over your mind, you walk around your apartment slowly, trying to find for any explanation of what was going on when you reach your fridge, noticing a bright pink post-it that definitely was not there when you grabbed your breakfast that morning.

Peeling it off the cold surface, your eyes scan over the piece of paper in your hand, covered in a messy scribble that definitely belonged to your roommate. You’re not sure why, but your heartbeat picks up its pace as you take in a deep breath before reading. 

You’re not sure what was happening, but you sure were smart enough to figure out that it was nothing good.

Dear Y/n, 

I’m sorry for leaving without a word, but my parents have called me back to stay with them during the semester break. I would have waited for you to get back, but my flight was in the morning and you weren’t in so I had to leave. Sorry, love! Hope you aren’t too surprised >< I’ve left my share for this month’s rent in the envelope on the counter, so don’t worry about that! Hope you aren’t too upset with me <3

Love, Haeun

Staring blankly at the piece of paper in your hands, your mind tries to process what you just read, when it all comes crashing down on you in three mere seconds.

You had just been abandoned by your roommate for the next few months or so, without any prior notice. 

Firstly, you hated living alone. Everyone knew this. Even the cat a few blocks down knew this. Secondly, and most importantly, you were definitely not going to be able to afford your weekly rent alone.

Thoughts of being homeless flashes through your mind as you stare at the paper in your hands, when you notice something written at the back of your post-it. Just as you turn over the post-it in your hand to read what was written, your doorbell rings, causing you to whip your head up towards the door.

Maybe it’s your roommate, coming back to say that this was all the end-of-semester prank and that you’re not going to be stranded all alone.

Opening the door with high expectations, you feel your world crashing down around you when you’re met with an unfamiliar face. 

“Sorry, I’m not interested in buying your products,” you recite monotonously, shutting the door before the boy could finish his sentence. You aren’t usually this rude; most of the time you throw them a sweet smile and say that you’re broke and can’t afford their products. But this wasn’t any other day. 

Taking a few steps away from the door, you finally read the little extra note at the back of the post-it, horror filling you up as the words register in your brain. 

P.S. I know you can’t live alone and the rent is too expensive, so I’ve found a replacement roommate for you for the time being! His name’s Kim Hongjoong and he studies in the music department. He’ll be coming around 3 to move in!

Great. So now, on top of your roommate moving out, you’re going to have to deal with a whole new dude that you’ve never even seen, who’s supposedly coming at 3pm, who’s not here even though it’s 3:05pm- Wait a moment.

You slowly look up towards the door that you had just shut a few moments ago, deeming the guy on the other side of it to be a poor salesman, and take slow steps towards it. 

Grabbing the handle with shaking hands, you slowly open the door to reveal the same guy you had shut the door on. Except now, he was scrolling through his phone seated on one of the many boxes you had failed to notice earlier.

At the sound of the door opening, he looks up from his phone, immediately scrambling up and rushing towards the door.

“H-hey don’t close the door on me, I’m not here to sell anything! My friend, Haeun, told me that I would be moving in here since my roommate was leaving during the break and I couldn’t afford the whole rent!” he went on rambling, not even stopping for a breath in fear that you would shut the door on him again and he’d be left stranded.

You feel the embarrassment rise up to your cheeks as you fight the urge to run into your room and never come out, but you will yourself to say something to the poor boy you had just shut out a few minutes ago. 

“Are you Kim Hongjoong?” your voice comes out hoarse and barely above a whisper, and you feel the embarrassment reaching the top of your head. Clearing your throat, you repeat the question again, somewhat glad that you didn’t sound like a dying frog anymore. 

He nods his head at your question and throws you a sheepish smile, scratching the back of his head as he looks around the corridor in embarrassment, allowing you some time to take in the boy in front of you—who happened to be very cute, to your horror.

Your brain was never going to let you live this down—the fact that you had just slammed the door in this extremely cute boy’s face. Another thing to add to your ever-growing list of “Embarrassing moments that make you want to kill yourself”.

“Do you need help with the boxes?” you ask, wanting to do anything that would distract you from the very cute face in front of you.

“Huh? Oh, yeah sure! Thanks!” he says, seemingly snapping out of his own reverie as he shifts around to get to the first box. 

Both of you work in silence, walking in and out of the apartment till all his boxes were in his room, as the awkward tensions remains. You stand around the kitchen counter fiddling with your thumbs while he sits on the sofa looking around the apartment for the tenth time. Anything to keep you occupied. 

Letting out a sigh, you finally decide to be the first one to break the silence. 

“I’m sorry for slamming the door on you earlier,” you start, feeling the need to apologise. “Haeun left without telling me and I started freaking out about what I was going to do without a roommate because I’m broke.”

As if he was waiting for you to initiate a conversation, Hongjoong looks up almost immediately, shaking his head before starting to speak.

“No, no it’s fine! I can understand how stressful it must have been,” is what he says, laughing slightly at the end of his sentence, thinking of the shit he’d been through when his roommate left. “I was a mess when my roommate left too. I started calling around to check if anyone was willing to be my roommate when I heard from Haeun that she needed someone to move in with you. Of course, I accepted right away.”

You giggle at his words, unconsciously nodding along as the conversation starts flowing between the two of you. It was like someone had flipped a switch, and now you weren’t two awkward strangers. Instead, you were two potential friends (and roommates), having a conversation. 

“Well, I hope that we can make the most out of being roommates!” you say, clapping your hands together, content with the fact that you wouldn’t have to live for the next few months alone. “Need a hand unpacking your things?”

And you’re sure the sun would pale in comparison to the smile you just received from the boy sitting across you, perfect teeth in full display as he shoots you the most breathtaking smile you’ve ever seen. 

“I would love that, roommate.”

ii.

“Joong, we’re going to be late!” you shout out into the apartment, hopping around on one foot trying to keep your balance as you put on your shoes. “Get your ass out right this instant!”

“I’m coming!” you hear faintly from Hongjoong’s room, and soon after you see your roommate rushing out in one of his many reformed shirts, looking handsome as ever. “What time’s the movie starting?” 

“Six.”

“It’s only four right now.”

He looks at you incredulously, unable to understand why you had to be two hours early for a movie that was playing just a few blocks down. 

You, on the other hand, had very different views. 

“Look here, it takes us 20 minutes to get there. And then we’d have to queue to get tickets and snacks, which might take us long considering the fact that it’s semester break and all the dumbasses that go to our college will want to go to that one specific theatre. And then of course, we have to take some mandatory time playing at the arcade before the movie starts because that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“I’m going to make you rap over one of my tracks one day.” He stares at you in awe, wondering how you can ramble on without even stopping for a breath. “I can’t believe I’ve heard you do that almost everyday for exactly three months.”

“Shut up and let’s get moving.” You threaten him, trying to hold in your own laughter as you point your fingers at him in a makeshift gun, triggering a chuckle from him as he plays along and puts up his hands in surrender .

“Okay Ma’am.”

He’s known you for three months and he should be used to your antics—but it still never ceases to surprise him. In a very good way, of course.

When you slammed the door on him three months ago, there were many things running through your mind. The murder of your roommate, how you were going to manage without a roommate, the murder of your roommate, how you hated being alone, and the murder of your roommate. 

But never would you, in a million years, have thought that you’d find one of your closest friends through that little mishap. Thinking back on it, even though your introductions weren’t through the best, most ideal way, it was natural—almost as natural as the flow of time. Never stopping for anyone, but at the same time filling you up with memories you would forever be grateful for. 

It was the perfect weather outside, you note, as you walk along the stone pavement.

The sun was shining brightly, but not too brightly that it made you want to turn back home and down a few ice cubes to neutralise the heat. The cool breeze that accompanied the sun made it the kind of weather people would kill for when on a date.

And you were the lucky few who got to experience that weather. With the guy you had a humongous crush on. 

It was all too cliché, actually. Falling for your roommate who was handsome, kind, caring, thoughtful and smart? Absolutely unoriginal. 

But it’s completely different when you’re in that position. You really can’t help the few beats your heart skips when he made you breakfast because you stayed up late finishing assignments the night before. Or that one time when you fell asleep on the couch watching How To Train Your Dragon and you woke up with a comfortable pillow under your head that saved you a lot of pain and a fluffy blanket that protected you from the cold—both of which were not there before.

It also definitely didn’t help your poor heart when Haeun announced that she had decided to move in with her boyfriend, after years of being together (and of course, after confirming that you and Hongjoong didn’t hate each other).

So here you are, stuck with an annoyingly handsome and sweet roommate, who didn’t do much to help the not so little crush you were harbouring. In fact, you’re sure that it grows bigger significantly every single day.

“What do you think about love?” Hongjoong asks, finally breaking the comfortable silence and putting a stop to your inner ramblings. 

It might’ve been weird to anybody else—if he were to suddenly ask that question—but you were used to these random questions, because that’s how he found inspiration for his songs. 

“Hm, I don’t really know,” you start, pondering over his question as you both take slow, matching steps beside one another, a sweet scent gracing your noses as you walk past a flower shop. “I guess it’s something that everyone needs. Whatever kind of love it may be. It shapes us as humans and helps us live a better and more content life, I guess. Love can save lives, and maybe that’s why I think it’s the strongest emotion anyone can feel.”

“You’re really wise, you know?” he states, giving you a soft smile as he stares at you, eyes twinkling under the brightest star. “I still can’t believe how lucky I am to score a friend and roommate like you.”

Your cheeks welcome the heat rushing into your cheeks as you hit your friend lightly on the arm, mouth agape as your mind blanks out and you’re unsure of what to say to his sudden confession. 

Through the months of knowing him, you’ve never heard Hongjoong say anything as direct as this. He had his moments of sweetness, always helping you out when you were having problems and listening to you rant no matter how late. But never once did he express his thoughts as explicitly as this. And you had no idea how to react. 

So you settle for your usual comeback, crossing your arms and avoiding his eyes, consequently missing the way he looked at you, eyes filled with love.

“Shut up, fucker.”

iii.

“I can’t believe you made me watch that stupid movie,” you say, kicking off your shoes as you hear your favourite laugh ring in your ears. “You know I don’t like horror movies and yet to choose one. I couldn’t even get rid of the mental images during dinner!”

“I’m sorry but I just love to see your reactions every time we watch one.” He guffaws at your annoyance, clutching the table for support as tears escape his eyes. 

“Good night.”

You huff, walking into your room and slamming the door with a frown on your face, but not genuinely feeling the annoyance you were portraying. You knew you could never be mad at him. 

You hear a faint ‘good night’ from outside your door followed by a door shutting, indicating that it was the end of the day for the both of you. 

With a smile on your face, the day replays in your head and you settle in bed, laying wide awake as memories of you and Hongjoong plays in your mind one after another, like a self-directed movie. 

Everything’s fine, till you feel something crawling up your leg, triggering an immediate reaction from you as you jump out of bed flicking whatever it was, off your leg.

If you thought the horror movie you watched earlier was bad, this was a hundred times worse. 

Because right there, on your bed, you see three small cockroaches crawling around freely, claiming your bed as free real estate as they make themselves comfortable. 

Your first instinct is to walk a few metres down and bang on Hongjoong’s door to get him to help you, but you remember that he has an early class the next day and decide that you will deal with this issue on your own. 

You may be a coward, but you still were a good friend, and good friends don’t spoil their friend’s precious sleep. 

Grabbing the insecticide that you kept under the sink in your bathroom, you walk back to your bed to gas those little demons when you feel your heart drop.

The pests were nowhere to be found. 

Going through the ten stages of grief, you open your closet to grab the extra blanket you kept in there for emergencies, ready to spend your night on the couch when you feel your soul leaving your body for the third time that night. 

You’re not what people would call a hopeless coward. You definitely could kill the occasional cockroach without too much of a fuss. But there was no way you could handle the whole colony of cockroaches in front of you, because trying to gas them would just results in them crawling all over the place. 

So with not much choice, you rush towards Hongjoong’s room, knocking incessantly because there’s no way you were dealing with those satans alone.

iv.

“One week? ONE WEEK?!” you shriek, clutching the ends of your hair as Hongjoong gets off the phone with the pest control centre. “I have to be out of my room for a week because some idiots couldn’t find anywhere else to lay their eggs?”

Stifling a laugh at your words, your roommate pats your shoulder trying to comfort you. “I can help you get your things out of your room if you want. And you can take my bed, and I’ll take the couch?”

You feel a bit better at his suggestion, thankful that you were not in this alone, but nevertheless tell him that you can handle yourself. 

“I can take the couch it’s fine. I’m not picky with where I sleep anyway.”

“We both know that’s a lie,” he deadpans, shooting you a knowing look. “You can’t fall asleep on the couch unless you’re dead tired because you’re so used to the bed.”

“Shut up.”

“Wow it’s almost like I’ve heard that a million times!”

“Shut up.”

“Million and one!”

You throw him a glare as he doesn’t bother controlling his laughter—something he seemed to be doing very often around you. 

“Here, I’ll make you some tea while you set up the couch properly so that you don’t sprain something while sleeping.” With that, he moves to the kitchen and takes out the necessary ingredients to make you your favourite cup of tea.

You felt guilty, of course you did. You felt guilty for every nice thing people did for you. 

But you couldn’t stop the way your heart swelled whenever he did these things for you. He had an early class tomorrow, and yet here he was, making your dumb ass a cup of tea at two in the morning.

If you knew better, you would’ve thought that he likes you. But you didn’t know better. 

Because Kim Hongjoong was head over heels in love with you.

v.

Tossing and turning, all you feel is the dull ache all over your body because of the couch’s hard and uncomfortable surface, and you know you’re in for a long night. The fact that you had an early class the next day didn’t help your desperation to fall asleep too. 

Maybe taking the couch wasn’t the brightest idea you’ve had. 

Snatching your phone from the table, you scroll through your music playlist, finding for songs to play to help set the mood for your sleep, when you remember something. Immediately, you exit the music app and press a few buttons, opening up a page with a single file. 

 Aurora_Sample_KimHongjoong.mp3

It was the first ever track Hongjoong had shared with you, coinciding perfectly with the day you realised your feelings for him. 

“Please please pleaseeeeee!” You whine, following your roommate around, hot on his heels as he continuously shakes his head, indicating a strong ‘no’. “Just one song!”

“No way!” 

“Fine! I’ll just sulk here until you show me a song,” you say, plopping down on the couch with crossed arms and a pout. 

“Sure. I don’t care.” 

His indifference lasted for a total of two minutes before he let out a defeated sigh, kneeling down in front of you, placing his hands on your knees.

“It’s not that I don’t want to show it to you. I’m just not confident enough…” he trails off, looking down at his hands. “What if you don’t like it?”

The frown on your face dissipates as you look at the boy in front of you, looking completely beat because of his worries, and you instinctively take his face in your hands, heart hammering against your ribcage the moment you make contact. 

“I won’t like it,” you start, seeing the hurt seep into his face, but you continue anyway. “I’ll love it—because whatever you put so much time and effort into will definitely turn out amazing. Plus you’re Kim Hongjoong. Producer of the century.”

He blinks at your kind expression, before slowly breaking into a small smile of his own. You stare at each other for what seems like eternity, before he puts out his hand, palm up. 

“Give me your phone.”

You look at him confused, but hand over your phone anyway, watching him almost run into the room.

A few minutes later, he returns with your phone and some headphones. Your eyes follow his figure as he returns to his original position of kneeling in front of you, as he places the headphones over your ears and taps play on your phone.

A subtle, soft tune surrounds you, goosebumps erupting all over your body as his voice embraces your ears. Before you know it, you’re closing your eyes and swaying slightly on your body’s own accord as the music takes over your mind. You’ve never felt this at peace before. 

And it was all because of his song. 

The last note plays, and you slowly take off the headphones, meeting Hongjoong’s expectant eyes. “How was it?”

You let out a slight chuckle, shaking your head slightly as you stare at your roommate. Something warm takes over your heart as you look upon him, making you shudder slightly at the sudden change in temperature. You feel the heat creeping up your body, but not finding it in you to break the eye contact. It was like a magnet—the way his eyes drew you in. 

“It was amazing.” You say gently, and the way his face lights up makes you realise two things. 

Kim Hongjoong was a fantastic producer. 

And you were in love with him.

The couch suddenly feels less burdensome as your favourite tune fills the empty living room, immediately relaxing your body as the song acts as a relaxant. Your eyes droop as you feel sleep welcome you, and you’re about to give in to it when something catches your subconscious mind’s attention. 

With your eyes closed, you hear the faint sound of footsteps growing louder every second, till you feel it stop right in front of you. The couch dips with the weight of someone’s elbows, but you still keep your eyes closed.

And you’re glad you did, because there was no way you could have handled what came next. 

“I really hope you’re sleeping.” Hongjoong’s voice is the last thing that fills your ears before you feel your hammering heart come to a complete stop. 

Something, a pair of lips to be exact, lands on your forehead, pressing against it in a soft kiss, and you feel your whole body on fire, which doesn’t extinguish even after he moves away from you. 

Waiting until you hear the sound of his door closing, you open your eyes wide and stare at the white ceiling above as you try to slow down your breathing. Yelping in pain, you confirm that you were not dreaming after pinching yourself. 

What just happened?

Safe to say, you didn’t sleep a wink that night.

vi.

The next morning, you sit at the kitchen counter, stirring your tea lifelessly as you stare ahead, the previous night’s events playing over and over in your head like a broken cassette. 

“I hate to say this, but I told you so.” You jump at the very familiar voice, heart going wild as your mind controls start to fail. How were you going to face him without exposing the fact that he was all you were thinking about?

No, get your shit together. There’s no way he can find out. 

With some new conviction, you manage to look up at Hongjoong, already feeling the conviction melt away because of how stunning he looked, even at ungodly hours.

“You look like someone bashed you in the eyes, Y/n. Why didn’t you come sleep in my room?” he enquired further, taking a seat on the bar stool opposite you, munching on his bowl of cereal. He freezes halfway, as if coming to a realisation. “W-wait are you uncomfortable? Oh my god, if you’re uncomfortable with me asking this you don’t have to sleep with me- I mean, sleep in my room! Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on the signs I’m so dumb what am I-”

“Kim Hongjoong, shut up.”

“...... Million and two.”

You burst out laughing at his reply, immediately lightening the atmosphere that was weighed down by Hongjoong’s dumb worries. 

“I’m not uncomfortable, you idiot. I just don’t want to intrude! Plus, there’s no way I can let you sleep on that rock of a couch when you already get so little sleep from producing,” you explain, patting the top of his hand for extra reassurance. 

“Then sleep with me,” Hongjoong finalises, immediately stuttering when he catches your wide eyes. “I-I mean like not with me, I mean we can share my bed, yeah, that’s what I mean.”

You giggle quietly as you take in his rosy cheeks and quivering eyes, as he fumbles over his words to make sure that he doesn’t sound like an idiot, although it was too late for that. Though, he was the cutest idiot you ever had the pleashure of meeting.

“Okay, dumbhead.” You amuse, ignoring the sirens wailing in your head. 

Sharing a bed with your crush? Fate, what are you playing at?

vii.

You’re very much surprised. 

Sharing a room with Hongjoong went way better than expected. But perhaps that was because you always fell asleep before him. He always stays up working on music till the sun rises, and there’s no way you have the strength to stay up. 

On your sixth night, however, things are a little bit different. 

You enter the room, calling out your roommate’s name when you cut yourself off as fast as you can as you take in the sight in front of you. 

Hongjoong was curled up on his side of the bed, his breathing even, indicating that he was fast asleep. Not wanting to wake him up, considering the fact that he must’ve been exhausted to fall asleep this early, you tiptoe around the room, grabbing whatever was necessary before slowly lowering yourself on your side of the bed. 

You plug your phone in before settling in, grabbing your side of the covers and pulling it over you. It was still pretty early, and you weren’t feeling tired enough to fall asleep, so you turn around in your spot to face Hongjoong, grabbing the opportunity to admire your friend without seeming like a creep. 

Your eyes travel from his hair, that looked like a bird’s nest with the number of times he had run his hands through it—a sign that he had been producing something before sleeping—to his lips that had landed on your forehead a few nights ago. 

Did he like you? Or was it seriously just a dream? Whatever the answer was, you knew there was no turning back with how strong your feelings were for him. He was imperfect, but in the most perfect way. He made up for his flaws with his beautiful heart, and you’re sure you must have saved a country in your previous life to be able to meet such a human. 

Looking at him, you’re filled with an overwhelming urge to do something. And you’re not sure what that something is, until your body moves on its own, getting closer to Hongjoong’s face, till your lips are barely a centimetre away from his cheek. 

But right before they make contact, Hongjoong turns his head, and your lips collide with his, causing your whole world to turn upside down.

You almost fall off the bed with how fast you move away from him, aghast at what just happened. There’s no way you’re going to be able to face him ever again. You’d rather sleep in that cockroach infested room than share a bed with your crush, whom you had just kissed on accident. 

Not even stopping to grab your phone, you’re almost off the bed when a hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you back onto the bed, your back flat against the bed as you look up and meet a certain pair of brown eyes. 

Uh oh. 

You’re sure your face is completely red as Hongjoong stares down at you, your hands pinned down by your head as he hovers above you, the intensity in his eyes making you look away at anything but him. 

“Y/n, look at me.” You hear him say, but you turn your head away even more, if even possible. “Please.” 

Maybe it’s the desperation in his voice, but your eyes slowly travel back to face him, not knowing what was going through his mind due to the blank look on his face.

This is it. This is how you lost your roommate. All because you couldn’t control your dumb crush. 

“I’ll move out tomorrow,” you offer, tears already welling up in your eyes at the thought of being away from Hongjoong. “I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to do it.” 

You’re about to pull your hands out of his loosened grip when his grip tightens again, and your vision is obstructed as he slowly leans in.

Your lips touch softly, before he presses against you a bit harder and you automatically respond, kissing him back. His lips mould against yours like it was meant to be there, perfect for each other, and you’re sure your soul was flying somewhere in the ninth cloud. 

You curse yourself for the disappointment you feel when he pulls away, unsure of what just happened. He rubs his nose against yours softly, before your eyes find each other, drinking in the image of the other. 

“Well, I definitely meant to do that,” he states matter-of-factly, before pecking your lips once more. “And I’ll mean it every single time I do it.”

You stare at him, shocked at the way things were unfolding. Never would you have expected this.

“You like me?”

“No, dumbhead, I love you.” He says it with such sincerity that you can’t help but look away, a smile finally gracing your features as his words ring in your head.

“Shut up.”

“Seriously, you’re going to hit two million at this rate.”

You both take one look at each other before bursting out in laughter, mostly in relief that the elephant in the room had been tackled. 

Hongjoong lets go of your hand before laying next to you, pulling you closer to him and wrapping his arms around your waist, as your head rests on his chest, enjoying the sound of his quickened heartbeat. 

“I love you, Y/n.”

“And I love you too.”

You get an idea; leaning upwards, you place a kiss on his forehead, lips lingering for longer than a second. 

“In return for the kiss you gave me the other night.”

And for the umpteenth time that night, you can’t help but laugh at the horrified expression on Hongjoong’s face, because he had just been caught.

“You were awake?!” 

“Of course! Who even falls asleep on that stupid couch?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

He shoots you a look, and you decide to stop teasing him, muttering a “Okay I’ll stop”, and snuggling closer to him as you thank your lucky stars mentally.

You really had the best roommate, crush, and now boyfriend.

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

"you can be anything you wanna be, don't ever forget it?" for reddie 🥺

thank you so much ashbot! this fic literally only features a reddie mention, but I will continue it if you guys want more! It’s also set from Adrian’s point of view so have that! Also I have basically switched the losers an Adrian/Don’s ages around don’t @ me. 

* * * * *

Adrian walked into the local diner, texting his boyfriend, Don as he moved. There was a table right in the corner that Adrian always sat in. It was close enough to the door, and right next to a window meaning that if he was to enter an asthma attack, there was a quick escape. As it was a Thursday, there weren’t many people around, which was just how Adiran liked it, and he glanced at the clock. Don would be here any minute and until then, Adrian decided that a little people watching wouldn’t do much harm.

His eyes started by the entrance, scanning over the elderly couple sipping on their tea and nibbling into the scones. Adrian couldn’t help but smile to himself at the simplicity of it all, that after all the years they had probably been together, they still managed to find the time and energy to go out for a treat together. Leaving the couple to it, Adrian’s eyes moved further into the diner, landing on a man in a suit, tapping away on his laptop and talking quietly into a headpiece. He didn’t blame the man, as Thursday was a quiet day.

Finally, Adrian’s eyes drifted to the only other people in the diner at that time. At the table down from him, sat a slightly overweight woman and her young son, probably no older than four. His legs were swinging back and forth as he stared at the carrot sticks in front of him, before his head moved back to the large cabinet full of cakes and sweets. Since they were only a few tables away, Adrian could make out their conversation and he had to hold back a wince. Just from the small bit he could catch, it was clear that this mother was, what he would describe as, an entitled parent.

“Mommy, please can I have a little bit of cake?” The boy asked, his fingers twitching on the table and Adrian felt sorry for the poor kid. His mother gasped, loud enough to turn some heads and she shook her own head violently.

“Eddie bear! How could you even suggest such a thing? You know that you’re allergic to sugar! Do you want your mommy to have to rush you to the hospital and be faced with a huge bill just because you wanted a little piece of cake? I don’t think you do. You don’t want to hurt mommy do you?” Her voice was sickly sweet and condescending, which made Adrian develop the inkling that the kid didn’t actually have a sugar allergy.

Just then, the door to the diner opened, and Don walked in, waving in Adrian’s direction as he made his way over, taking a seat in the booth opposite him, “Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting, traffic was horrendous,” he rolled his eyes and leaned across the table, pecking Adrian on the lips, making him smile.

They were frequent customers at the diner, and all of the staff knew them by name, which was why they didn’t feel the need to hide their affection when they ate there. Of course, there was still the occasional roll of the eyes from the odd customer, but most of them were regulars too, and were used to it by now. So when the deep sigh and loud ‘ahem’ came from behind them, it took both Adrian and Don by surprise.

Adrian looked up first and he inwardly groaned when he came face to face with the entitled mother of the little boy. Upon closer inspection, he realised that he knew this woman, and his annoyance only intensified. Her name was Sonia Kaspbrak and she was a member of his Aunt’s book club, for years in fact. That was his aunt’s reasoning for not kicking her out, as she couldn’t deal with all the backlash that would come with it. She was religious, overbearing and...entitled. Which meant the little boy with her was Eddie Kaspbrak, her poor unfortunate son.

“Yes?” Adrian spoke up, raising an eyebrow. Just out of spite, he reached over and laced his fingers with Don’s. This woman had no control over him and was in no way about to dictate how he acted with his boyfriend. His glare met hers and he just knew he had started a war.

Sonia Kaspbrak glared down at him, her face going a dark red colour, “You shouldn’t be flaunting this around town where little kids can see it. You’re going to turn them into one of you and I will not have you infect my child with your...your illness.” She spat and Don winced across from him.

“We aren’t bothering anyone,” Adrian replied calmly. “It was you who chose to come over here and ruin our lunch. Now if you don’t mind could you leave us alone? We are trying to have a nice lunch.”

Turns out, that was not the right thing to say, and Sonia slammed her hand down on the table, making the two of them jump. “You’re not welcome in this town. You- you homo’s need to leave and get some serious help. You are all sick in the head. God never intended for this, not a chance. You are going to hell.”

Adrian blinked and was about to respond when a small voice came from behind the angry woman, and Eddie Kaspbrak’s head peeked out from behind her legs, eyes wide and curious. “Mommy...what’s a homo?” He asked, looking up at her. “Why are you yelling?”

The gasp that left Sonia’s mouth was one Adrian would never forget and she whipped her head back around, pointing a finger at him. “You- you have corrupted my son! Look what you’ve done!”

“Oh my god lady, this is ridiculous. It’s the 21st Century not the Stone Age,” Adrian rolled his eyes, and knowing that there was no turning back, he turned to face and address Eddie. “Homosexuals, it’s a word for when a man loves another man and wants to be with him. There is nothing wrong with that.”

Suddenly, Sonia screeched and covered Eddie’s ears, “Don’t you dare speak to my son! Don’t you even look at him! You have infected his mind with your words and I deserve some sort of compensation for this! I will be reporting you to the mayor and he will not be happy to know you are corrupting his town!”

“Mommy, does that mean that Richie and I can get married when we’re older?” Eddie asked, pulling away from her and looking back at Adrian. “Richie is my bestest best friend in the whole world. I want to spend time with him all the time and I love him, just like you said! Does that mean I’m a homo- that word you said?” He didn’t manage to get an answer as Sonia wrapped a rough hand around his too small wrist and started to drag him away.

“Edward, you will go sit in the car right now. Do not disobey me and you are never to mention that word ever again!” Sonia screeched and even though she had moved away from the table, Adrian was involved and so he followed her. “As for Richie Tozier, he is a dirty boy, just like those boys and you aren’t to be friends with him anymore.”

Tears filled Eddie’s eyes and Adrian felt his heart break at the sight. He marched forward and stood in Sonia’s line of vision. “Hey lady, you can’t go around calling little kids words like that. You say we’re the ones corrupting society, it’s actually you with your small minded views. You’re the one who needs some serious help.” He turned back around to Eddie and knelt down, ignoring Sonia’s insults. “Hey kid. You can be whatever you wanna be and don’t you forget it. Okay?” He asked, lifting his pinky.

Eddie sniffed and linked their pinkies together, nodding his head with a smile. “I won’t mister! Thank you!” He grinned, only for that smile to vanish as his mother shoved Adrian away and pulled Eddie out of the diner, to the car. It was a few moments until she drove away, leaving dust in her wake. The diner fell silent and the waitress walked over and smiled at him.

“That was a really nice thing you did,” she spoke. “Eddie comes in here with Sonia all the time and he always looks so sad as she won’t let him have any sweets.” She moved over to the table and started cleaning up.

Adrian followed to help and Don joined them shortly after, giving Adrian’s wrist a squeeze. “I heard her say that Eddie was allergic to sugar,” he muttered after a while and the waitress frowned, looking at him. “What?”

She shook her head, “That’s not possible. Before his father died, he would come in here and they would share a banana split. When he comes in with his mother, she always makes him drink black tea, so I sneak a sugar cube in there for taste. He’s definitely not allergic to sugar.”

At the news, Adrian felt his blood boil and he reached into his pocket for his inhaler, taking a few gulps. This woman was lying to her son, making him believe he was sick when he wasn’t. His eyes met Don’s and he could tell that his boyfriend knew exactly what he was thinking.

No matter what, Adrian was going to help Eddie Kaspbrak.

* * * * *

@3tothe1 @anellope @annxmatron @appojoos @are-you-reddie-for-it @beepbeeprichiellc @bi-bi-richie @billdenbrough @bitchbrak @callmechee @dadbodrichie @derrylosers @disneyfan567 @eds-trashmouth @eduardoandale @feldmancorey @girasol-eddie @gloire-celeste @halfway-happy353 @hawkinsbabe @inthebreadbinwrites @itfandomprompts @its-stranger-than-you-think @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @kat-ships-everything @lifesucksheres20bucks @loserslibrary @losers-gotta-stick-together @madi-main @mars-14 @marsisaplanetyall @moonlightrichie @nancynwheeler @no-she-wasnt-reddie @oldguybones @photoboothreddie @pink-psychic @purplepoisonedgem @queen-sock @ransonelovebot @rebecca-the-queen @reddie-for-anything @reddie-to-cryy @reddieforlove @reddiesetandgo @richietoaster  @roobarrtrashmouth @rreddies @s-onora @s-s-georgie @sashadrowned @sedanleystanley @sloppybitchreddie @sparklingrainbowdragon @spirited-marvel @stebbins @stellarbisexual @studpuffin @takeourpure @that-weird-girls-blog @thegoshdiddlydangdoor @thejadeazalea @thorn-harvester-ven @tinyarmedtrex @tozier-boy @tozierking @toziesque @trashmouthtozierr @twoidiotsinl0ve @ultrapaninibred @vanity190 @violetreddie @virgo-luthie @wilding-throught-thehallways @xandertheundead  

[iamthelostsundrop]

Apologize

ALRIGHT FUCKERS IM GONNA WARN YOU RIGHT HERE THIS PROBABLY WILL BE TRIGGERING TO SOME!!! Avoid if you are triggered by anything related o Abusive Relationships, Abuse, Trauma involving being harmed by someone else, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence or ANYTHING RELATED YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!! THIS DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING

This was a cola with my very best friend who does not have a tumblr, we will call her Lady Of Slytherin. Thank you Lady Sly for helping me relate this twisted masterpiece.

Dabi X Reader 2400+ words enjoy our filth

🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥☄️🔥

You’d been through so much together. Every time he fucked up, you gave him another chance. You fell for the puppy dog eyes. Those blue eyes that you got lost in every time. You couldn’t say no to him. But this time, Dabi had gone too far, and you didn’t think you could come back from this.

You met him at a bar of all places. A skeevy bar your best friend Himiko convinced you was the best place to meet guys after your last break up.

“I promise, (Y/N), this place is awesome and I promise you’ll find someone.”

You rolled your eyes at her but continued to let yourself be dragged towards the alleyway and the sign lighting up the dark with neon letters that spelled BAR. “Yeah. Right”

The place was creepy to say the least; no more than five people in the whole place. Of course this would be the place your friend dragged you to. She was always finding these backwoods, out of the way places to go.

You instantly went up to the bartender and ordered a strong drink. You sensed you were going to need it. Toga was already off in the corner talking to some guy with blue hair whose face you couldn’t see. He seemed agitated and kept gesturing back to you. You hurried your head in your drink and quickly ordered another. You weren’t getting a very good feeling, but you still took the moment to look around at the other patrons. There was Himiko and the blue haired young man in the corner. A tall man in a top hat and tailcoat like he was going to perform at the circus later. One man seemed to have some sort of animal like quirk, his body resembled a lizard. The bartender himself seemed to be made of blue black swirling mist. Finally the last patron was a young man, about your age, with patchwork skin. You looked over at him with interest, he was cute for sure. Maybe this bar wasn’t such a bad idea.

Toga skipped back over to you with a mixed look on her face. “So. I may have gotten into a little trouble for bringing you here but that’s okay. Boss said you could stay since you’re quirkless.”

You gave her a perturbed look, but before you could speak she grabbed your arm and dragged you to each bar patron and introduced you. They all seemed friendly enough, Spinner and Mr. Compress anyway. Tomura didn’t seem too excited about you being there, like you’d intruded on some secret boys club. He kept his face hidden from you, but you didn’t mind so much. You were a guest in their bar, you’d be respectful of their wishes. Toga had explained this was the meeting place of their secret club. You were fine with that. When she pulled you back to the bar, you noticed the handsome man again. “Whose that?”

Toga looked over to the man and rolled her eyes. “That’s Dabi. Tall, dark and brooding.” A dark and excited look passed her face “Just your type” Before you could speak, she had you by the arm and dragged you over to him. “Dabi. Meet my very bestest friend ever, (Y/N)” she said, unceremoniously pushing you into the chair next to him.

You stared daggers into your best friend, who of course ignored you. “Sorry. Toga is a bit much” The young man gave you a curt smirk, looking you up and down with those piercing turquoise eyes. “Don’t, worry about it. I’m used to her brand of fun. Nice to meet you.” He gave you a dashing smile, and you melted. “Kuroguri, why don’t you get the lady another drink”

From that moment on, Dabi had you eating out of the palm of his hand. You became a regular at the bar the League inhabited. They all knew you by name, and even Shiggy got used to you being around. Once he and the others knew you wouldn’t turn them in to the heroes they all relaxed a little bit.

Toga was over the moon when you started hanging around more, and she teased you endlessly after that first night when you let Dabi escort you home. “I know you would like him! I am the best matchmaker in the whole world.”

You didn’t want to admit it, but she was right. You and Dabi got along swimmingly, which you would have never expected given his bad boy persona. You had always been the goody goody girl. Straight A’s, Perfect attendance, all of that. That changed when you started seeing him. He'd show up at your window while you were getting ready for class, comment on your schoolgirl skirt and inevitably sweet talk you into bed and convince you to spend the day with him. When he couldn’t convince you, you spent your day in class daydreaming about the night before. You spent all of your free time at the bar with the league. You’d even gone so far as to help them out with menial tasks such as fetching specific things they needed for their plans Ana’s even doing a little bit of spying on the UA kids.

You tried your best to please him and keep Dabi happy, but it wasn’t always easy. He was moody sometimes and you didn’t do what he wanted quick enough and he got annoyed and cranky. If he was having a particularly bad day, he’d take it out on you. Depending on how bad it was, he would yell, push you around, squeeze your arm or wrist so hard that you bruised or got a sprain. It always seemed worse whenever you were watching TV together and Endeavor appeared. A severely sprained and bruised wrist taught you very quickly not to ask Dabi why the sight of the No. 2 hero made him so mad and you never brought up the man around him either.

Despite all this, Dabi had never seriously hurt you. After every incident, he had always apologized and it led to fantastic makeup sex. You didn’t mind, you loved him. He made you feel so very much alive. He made you feel like the most beautiful creature on earth whenever he’d talk to you in that sweet little way that he only reserved for you, kiss you until your knees buckled in bliss. You would do anything for him, set the whole world on fire and bring him Endevor’s head to see that smile that Dabi would give only you; you weren’t stupid enough to take on the flaming bastard, you knew very well that it would end badly for you and lead the heroes back to the League. Even if you were caught and tortured, you’d never betray the man you loved and your new friends.

But then came that day that changed everything forever. It had been an honest mistake. Just because you were helping the League, didn’t mean you were completely heartless. So when you saw a man in a wheelchair at the nearby market struggling to reach some things, you immediately went over to help. He was very good looking, but had nothing on Dabi of course. This guy had the wholesome good guy act going on, so it wasn’t a turn on for you

He thanked you profusely, looking rather sheepish over the fact that he needed help with doing some basic tasks. He admitted that while the accident that put him in the wheelchair had happened some time ago, he was still trying to adjust to doing things differently.

You smiled, amused by his bashful expression and offered to help him around the store. He agreed and you two were off. As you helped him shop, you learned he had a brother in high school and you could hear the pride in his voice as he talked about his little brother taking up the family mantle. It made you wish your own family had talked about you that way. Once finished, you helped him secure his bags and walked him out of the store, bidding him farewell as he wheeled away.

But little did you know that someone had seen the entire interaction as teal eyes ablaze with fury watched you from the alley as you walked towards the bar. After everything he had done for you, after sticking up for you, after convincing the others to let you stay, after all the love he had given you, this was how you repaid him? Forget about the League punishing you for this serious transgression, he’d punish you himself and he’d make sure you wouldn’t forget it.

He hit you when you least expected it. You had said goodbye to the man in the chair and made your way to the bar, taking a shortcut you knew would get you to your boyfriend quicker when you were hit from behind, hard. You were knocked off your feet and you skidded on the unforgiving ground a few feet away from where you’d been standing. Head pounding, you turned to see your attacker, surprise in your eyes slowly turning to terror. You’d never seen Dabi this angry before. His eyes seemed to glow with fury.

“Babe, what-“ He cut you off with a blow of cold fire directly to your left, destroying a trash bin.

“Don’t you babe me you treacherous slut” he seethed as he walked closer to you.

You scooted away from him, purse forgotten on the ground. You were so confused. What was he talking about?

“You think you can just go around flirting with heroes whenever you want?”

What? Flirting? Wait.

“You mean me helping that man back there? He was in a wheelchair and he was struggling with his things. I’m not a hero but I’m not heartless, Dabi. I wasn’t going to stand by and wat-“ The ground next to you exploded in blue flames as he cut you off again.

“You’re not listening here babe,” The patchwork villain kneeled down and put his face next to yours and a tight hand on your upper arm. “You’re my girl. That means,” the cold heat creeped up to your shoulder and down to your fingertips as he ignited your arm. Before you could scream, his free hand covered your mouth. “That you’re mine. You do as I say. You go where I tell you to go. You talk to who I say you can talk to. No one else. Listen babe. You don't have friends anymore. Just me. You’d have nothing without me. I took such good care of you, loved you when no one else would. And then you go and throw it all back in my face by acting like a worthless whore for some paralyzed ex hero who probably can’t even get it up anymore. Got anything to say in your defense, fucking whore?”

You were speechless. What the hell was he talking about? You stumbled over your words before you finally said something.

“I’m sorry. I didn't know. I thought I was being nice. It won't happen again. I promise!” Tears were pouring down your face as you silently begged for him to let you go, to turn back into the man you knew and loved, not this terrifying stranger before you.

“You’re damn fucking right it won’t happen again, bitch. Because I’m going to give you a little reminder of just who you belong to, one you won’t ever forget. Then no one but me will ever want you!” An evil grin overtook his face, distorting his face, the flames making him look like a demon from hell sent to torment you.

Searing pain laced through your arm as the scent of burning flesh filled the air, the sound of sizzling flesh was drowned out by your blood curdling screams of agony. You writhed and wordlessly begged for release, but Dabi refused to let go, squeezing his hand even tighter until you felt your arm snap and the flames delve deeper than your skin, searing the muscle and tissues beneath.

When he finally let go, you fell back against the ground, hardly registering anything else but the overwhelming pain that flared with every breath she took. She dared to look at her arm and what she saw made her nearly vomit. Her arm had been burnt nearly black, blistering blood oozed from the handprint on her arm. He had branded her, like she was some sort of cattle. If infection didn’t kill her first, she’d possibly have to remove her arm, as he had basically reduced part of her arm to nothing more than a charred piece of meat. She couldn’t even feel anything below her arm anymore. She stared up at him in disbelief through her tears. This wasn’t her Dabi, she didn’t know this animal that had hurt her so badly. She let out a broken sob, attempting to scramble away.

That one pitiful sound seemed to snap Dabi from his fit of madness as he stared down at you with wide eyes. He saw what he had done and felt sick. He had always sworn to never be like Endeavor and yet, he was no better than the flaming bastard. He reached a hand towards you, trying to pull you into his arms. “Y/n… I’m so sorry… I… I didn’t mean it… I didn’t mean to hurt you like that…. Come on, we’ll go inside and get you fixed up, everything will be alright. I’m so sorry… I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

You stared at him in a haze of pain. Forgive him? Did he honestly think that you were going to forgive him for this? He burned your fucking arm! You’d probably have to get your arm amputated if you even wanted to survive this. He swore to you so many times that he would never hurt you again. You should leave, get as far away as humanly possible. But… As you stared into his remorseful and terrified face, you began to doubt yourself. Could you really leave him now? Now after everything he had done for you? He loved you right? You loved him still, it was just an accident. Unable to speak, you merely nodded, giving him your silent forgiveness. You whimpered in pain as Dabi carefully scooped you up and carried you back to the bar. The pain was worth it, he was worth it.

Why? Because you loved him.

[portals-to-a-new-world]

Shattered Glass

Who?: John Kennex x Reader

What?: YN and John fight, forcing both of them to realize some truths neither were willing to admit. 

Word Count: 4724

Warnings: Angst, Intrusive Thoughts, Self-Image Struggles, Portrayals of Depression and Anxiety, Language, Smut, Unprotected Sex (wrap it before you tap it, y’all), Semi-Public Sex, Fluff 

A/n: Hey y’all! This started out as a therapy fic for me after I’d had a bad day at work and just sort of snowballed lol. I’d just like to reiterate that this has portrayals of negative self image and anxiety/depression so please don’t put yourself at risk if that’s going to trigger you. I’d like to give yet another shoutout to the absolutely brilliant @bakerstreethound​, without whom this story couldn’t have happened. She kept me sane during the beginning and has been the bestest friend and partner anyone could ask for. Ace, I really don’t know what I’d do without you 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Finally, I’m not tagging in this one, simply because I’m currently trying to work out a way to organize my tags so that people only get tagged in what they want to be :). Keep an eye out for a post soon with further details, peaches. Oh just one more thing, I’ve been seeing a lot of blogs having their works reposted on other sites without permission, and I’d like to establish here that I do not give anyone permission to repost my works. I’m on AO3 under the same username, but any other sites are not me. 

Rough days were standard in your line of work. You'd think that after 3 years in the industry, the last 5 months of which being spent with your current employer, would have you used to the stress. Then again, you weren't sure anyone could get used to the bitch of a co-worker who was causing 80% of your issues. You were higher up in the company than her, but because she'd been with them longer, she seemed to think she could order you around. Going to your bosses achieved nothing, as she was apparently "invaluable" to the company, and didn't bother listening to them anyway. It wasn't a big deal at first, just one of those "ignore them, and they'll go away" situations, but as time progressed it got increasingly worse. Today you were forced to endure her screaming insults and ranting at you about a mistake your partner had made. Your day only seemed to get worse from there, and by the time you got off, you were about ready to blow a fuse. 4 bouts of road rage and a spilled coffee later, and you finally walked through the door to your apartment, slamming it shut behind you. John's head poked around the corner from the kitchen, noodles hanging from his lips. "Jesus. Is the door still standing?" He asked once he'd swallowed. You just huffed in response. He raised an eyebrow as you walked past without giving your usual greeting in the form of a kiss. "Hello to you, too, then." He mumbled. You waved your hand sarcastically over your shoulder.

"Hey," You said. John's concern was written all over his face as he followed you into the living room. He spoke as you plopped onto the couch, placing your head in your hands.

"I'd ask if you're okay, but clearly you're not so-"

"Sorry, Detective, but you must be losing your touch because I'm fine." You said, looking up to offer a strained smile, which was met with a skeptical eyebrow raise.

"Uh-huh, and Richard's being promoted to captain. Don't bullshit me, (Y/N/N). What's wrong?" He placed a hand on your shoulder as he finished. You shrugged it off and stood to your feet, ignoring the incredulous look on his face at your actions.

"I said I'm fine, John. Just let it go." You turned to walk away, but his hand shot out to grab ahold of your wrist. You tried to tug it free, which only served to draw him to his feet. He pinned your arm against his chest, pulling you in close. "Let me go." You said as you continued to struggle against him. Any other time you'd've found being pinned against such a handsome bastard incredibly sexy, in fact, that's probably why he did it in the first place. The notion was like throwing a match onto gasoline, igniting the rage that had been simmering under the surface into a full-on blaze.

"What the hell's gotten into you??" He demanded.

"I told you to fucking let it go, Kennex. In fact, you might as well go ahead and leave altogether, cause I'm not in the mood to fuck you tonight." He dropped your wrist as if scalded and took two steps back to search your face in angry disbelief before replying.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You threw your hands in the air in exasperation.

"Oh, come on! I'm not stupid, John. There was never going to be anything serious between us. You're not capable of trusting, let alone loving, anyone after Anna, and even if you were, you'd never choose me." He opened his mouth to reply, but you cut him off. "No, you wouldn't. Put me in a line up with every woman you've ever been attracted to, and the differences are fucking painfully obvious." You took a deep breath before continuing. "I was not, and never will be, anything more to you than convenient, no matter how much I love you. Okay? So, you don't have to pretend to fucking care anymore, John."

"How dare you! I can't believe I'm standing here listening to this bullshit; matter of fact," He paused and gestured as if an idea just occurred to him. "I'm not going to!" He stormed over to his coat and yanked it off the counter before throwing it on. He stopped momentarily to look back at you, mouth open to speak before sighing roughly in frustration. "Fuck this." Without another word, he was going out your door, slamming it so hard behind him that the pictures on the wall fell and crashed on the floor. In a single moment, everything in you shattered like glass. You collapsed in a heap as sobs began to rip through your chest. It's for the best. He would have left eventually, anyway. Why would he want to stay with a useless, disgusting, pathetic thing like you? God, you can't even handle the basic stress of everyday problems, while he's out there still doing his job after everything he's been through. I mean, how weak can you be?? No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't stop the thoughts from invading your mind. Each one cut deeper than the last until you were numb. Eventually you stood to your feet, drained and feeling hopeless. Your body moved on autopilot, carrying you through your nightly routine and into bed. You slept in fits and starts, nightmares plaguing nearly every second. When your body finally gave in to the utter exhaustion, a tiny part of you had hoped that you would wake up to find it'd all been a dream. Most of you didn't want to wake up at all, though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unfortunately, neither part of you got its wish. You did indeed wake up, and you woke up to an empty bed. Your heart broke as you realized just how badly you'd fucked up. You didn't have time to dwell on your failures, though, as your phone was ringing, and upon answering, you discovered you were over an hour late for work. You shot up out of bed and quickly threw some clothes on, rushing through your morning essentials. As you stepped out of your front door, you looked up and saw dark storm clouds rolling in. You flipped through the radio in your car and found out that the storms were supposed to last through the rest of the week. At least the weather matched how you felt inside. Unsurprisingly, your problematic co-worker was standing ready to lay into you the moment you stepped through the doors. It took every ounce of what little strength you had left not to break down right then and there. By some stroke of luck, she was called away by your bosses, and you quickly took off to your desk. Your day was almost typical, until around 2 pm, your phone buzzed with an incoming text. Your heart stopped as you looked at the name on the screen. John. Your hands were shaking as you unlocked the phone to read the message.

Come by my place when you get off. We need to have a serious talk. 

All of your fears came crashing down on you at once, punching through your chest like a bullet. You stumbled your way into the bathroom and latched onto the sink edge to anchor yourself. So this really was it. He was breaking up with you. Your hand flew up to press against your chest as the ache there blossomed into raw agony. At least he had the decency to do it in person. He could have just ghosted you. You continued to rub your chest as you typed out a simple 'okay' in response. A quick glance at the time revealed that you still had three hours left in your shift. You took a few deep breaths and splashed some cool water on your face. The last thing you needed was for someone to ask "what's wrong" and you end up breaking down in front of God and everyone. After you managed to calm down enough to return to your desk, time seemed to slow down, until the remaining three hours felt like twelve. You'd also discovered that you'd left your rain jacket at John's the last time you'd spent the night. Still, most of your body was numb by then anyway, so it didn't really matter as you stepped out into what had to be a freezing downpour at the end of your shift. In all honesty you were grateful for the numbness. You almost certainly would have never been able to drive had it not been for the near void that threatened to consume you as you drove through the crowded city. When you pulled up into the driveway, some of the emptiness cleared away, leaving panic in your chest and your whole body shivering as you sprinted to the door. You hardly registered John opening the door and pulling you inside. Your focus was locked on to the way his face moved while he spoke, committed to memorizing every detail while you still had the chance. Your gaze had fallen to his perfectly plump lips when you realized he was saying your name.

"Y/n, can you hear me, sweetheart?" You shook your head to clear some of the fog from your mind. Might as well get it over with.

"Yeah-" You cleared your throat. "Yeah, I can hear you. When do you wanna come by and get your stuff? Or would you rather me just drop it off here for you?" Confusion flooded his features as you finished.

"What are you talking about? Why would I need my stuff back?" Damn, was he so done with you that he didn't even want his stuff back? You dropped your eyes, knowing that you wouldn't be able to hold his gaze without breaking down completely.

"You're breaking up with me, right?" You cursed silently as tears began to stream down your face. Gentle fingers pressed up beneath your chin to tilt your face back up.

"You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?" You didn't respond, too caught up in the softness of his eyes, and he didn't bother waiting for one anyway. "I said I shouldn't have walked out on you last night. I had some excuse about being tired, but the truth is I was afraid because you were right. I didn't think I would ever be able to love anyone again after Anna." Your heart clenched and the tears began to fall even harder as breathing became difficult. Had you been watching his face, you would have seen the heartache ooze across his features as he watched you break down in front of him. As it were, your gaze had fallen back to the floor, and you jumped when his hand moved up to cradle your face softly. "I was so pissed at myself, and at you for being right, that it wasn't until this morning when I woke up without you in my arms, and it hurt that I realized just how wrong we both had been. You're wrong about me never choosing you. You're smart and kind, and so beautiful you take my breath away when you walk into a room." You hiccupped and fell apart as you processed what he was saying to you. He rushed to pull you into his arms as your knees threatened to give out, and just held you until you could breathe again. He pulled back far enough to look you in the eyes before he continued speaking. "And I was wrong. Because I do love you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out." You gasped deeply and threw your arms around his neck.

"I'm so sorry too. I never should have taken out my frustrations about work on you."

"It's alright. Do you wanna talk about it?" Part of you still felt stupid about the reason for your outburst, but you felt so safe in his embrace that you found yourself nodding in affirmation. He placed a kiss on the top of your head and let you go. The sudden lack of his warmth sent shivers up your spine.

"Jesus. Why's it so cold in here?" You asked, rubbing your arms. He reached out and took your hand with a grin.

"Part of your surprise." He said with a wink. "Come on. I'll show you." You followed him around the corner and into the main room. You came to a stop as your eyes fell on the mounds of blankets and pillows arranged on the floor. He turned to look back when you stopped, and he seemed disappointed when you just looked at him in confusion. "You mentioned a while back that you loved the sound of the rain on the roof here. I'd figured-" He cringed slightly as he stumbled over his words. "Well, I mean I'd hoped-" He began to rub the back of his neck nervously before he continued. "I'd hoped that we'd be able to work things out, so I went ahead and got everything set up. Since they're calling for the storms to last for so long and all." Deciding to put him out of his misery, you stepped forward and pulled him down into a kiss. All the tension left his body as your lips connected, and you couldn't help but grin as you broke apart.

"I promise to not tell Dorian that you're secretly a big ol teddy bear who remembers tiny details about his girlfriend." You joked. John rolled his eyes, but still had a small smile on his face as he pulled you back in for another kiss. Despite his closeness, another chill ran down your spine, reminding you of your original query. "Doesn't explain why it's so flippin cold in here, though." He looked at you and gestured as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"It's a pillow fort. And you've got the internal body temperature of a small space heater. I'd really prefer to not sweat my ass off." He said. You bit your lip to hide your grin as you nodded gravely before replying.

"That would be a tragedy." He also was fighting a smirk as he slightly tilted his head in agreement.

"Exactly. My ass is a national treasure," He said. You giggled and let your smile finally breakthrough as he gestured in a 'come hither' motion. You began to worry your bottom lip between your teeth as you stepped forward. He reached over and pulled the soaking wet towel from your shoulders, surprise in his eyes as if something had just occurred to him. You stepped forward in concern as his eyes seemed to zone out and darken.

"John? What's wrong?" He seemed to snap out of his trance, and he cleared his throat before gesturing to your body.

"Your shirt. It's soaked. You're gonna catch a cold." You followed his gaze to your chest to discover that his eyes had not darkened in anger or frustration, but in lust. He was right, your shirt was absolutely dripping wet. It was also white. Ah.

"Would you prefer me to take it off?" You joked. A smirk emerged on his lips, sending a shudder through you that had nothing to do with the cold. He nodded and closed the distance between you.

"Purely in the interest of your health, of course," He said lowly. You tilted your head in mock defeat and began undoing the buttons of your shirt slowly.

"Well, I'm sure you know best, Detective." You barely made it half-way down the line before his lips were crashing into yours and his hands taking over to speed through the remaining buttons. He paused before he could push the garment off of your shoulders.

"Is this- I mean I don't want to assume- Or make you think I'm only after-" You cut him off with another kiss and shrugged out of the sleeves. He still seemed hesitant, right up until you nipped at his bottom lip. He huffed out a breathless growl before returning the favor, his hands landing on your bare waist to pull you into him. He swiped his tongue across your lip in a silent request for entrance, which you happily granted. Your hands moved to grip at his shoulders while his own began an exploration of your body, sliding up your spine and across your stomach before dropping from your skin entirely. You whined at the loss of contact, but he quickly made up for it by reaching down and pulling his shirt over his head. He leaned back down and placed a soft kiss on your lips. "Just making things even," He murmured against you. His hands found your hips as he led you to the center of the room without breaking the kiss, but it was his turn to grunt in surprise when you gently pushed him down on the pillows. "What-" He stopped when your hands moved to play with the clasp of your bra.

"We're not even yet, Detective." You said coyly. You barely got the garment off before he was tugging you down on top of him and into another breathtaking kiss. A moan escaped your lips as he nibbled your ear, trailing kisses down your neck. You brought a finger up to his mouth, stopping his assault. "We're not done yet, detective." You were smirking and trailing your hands across every bit of his skin you could reach, but you were partly just trying to hide the way you were trembling at having him so close. Another part was just reassuring itself that he was really there, not believing that he was finally truly yours, that you had the broken-hearted detective beneath you. It all felt like a dream until he ground up against you and whispered in your ear.

"Please, (Y/n)," He didn't even finish his sentence before you were climbing off of him to quickly remove your pants and underwear. He followed your lead and, to your surprise, pulled you back down on top of him once he'd finished. You uttered a whimper as he brushed up against your soaked folds, but it turned into a full-fledged whine as he slowly guided you down onto his length. He cursed and his eyes fluttered closed once he was fully sheathed inside you. You both took a moment to breathe and adjust to the sensation, and he finally looked at you when his hands began to guide your hips. "I love you." You leaned down to claim his lips again, tears threatening to fall at the words you'd never thought you'd hear him say. 

"I love you too." You said, pulling back to meet his gaze once again. Such a small declaration, yet it made every movement, every touch, feel different. It was slow and passionate, so contrary to the fast and rough pace that was the norm with John. You couldn't bring yourself to look away from his deep hazel eyes, full of love and adoration, as you moved in perfect sync together. He rose with every fall, hitting so deep inside you that you knew you'd be feeling him for weeks. Your hips began to stutter as the sensations threatened to overwhelm you, and without missing a beat John flipped the two of you. A yelp escaped your kiss swollen lips as his nimble fingers slipped between the two of you to rub deliciously at your clit, and you could feel yourself rapidly approaching your orgasm. "John- please- don't stop!" He seemed more than happy to oblige, maneuvering to thrust impossibly deeper as his lips found your ear once again.

"You gonna cum for me, beautiful? I-" Whatever sweet nothing he had planned to say was choked off into a moan as your orgasm hit you. Your walls clamping down around him dragging him over the edge with you as he worked you through until you were whining with oversensitivity. He finally slid out of you and quickly retrieved a towel to clean you up. When he'd finished, he laid back down beside you and wrapped an arm around you, resting your head on his chest. You hummed in contentment as he began to stroke your hair, nearly drifting off before an idea occurred to you.

"John?" You mumbled against his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still have any of that hot chocolate mix I gave you?" A small laugh rumbled in his chest as he responded.

"Yeah. You want some?" You lifted your head up to smile sweetly and nod your head.

"Yes, please!" John shook his head with a smile and placed a quick kiss to your temple before extracting himself from your embrace. You booed when he slid his boxers back on, earning another grin, this time accompanied by a wink before he headed off into the kitchen. Amongst the quiet, you finally registered the sounds of the rain still hammering against the building, the constant drumming a soothing backdrop to the cozy situation you found yourself in. You stood and slid back into your panties before moving to stand in front of the window. You also grabbed one of the blankets to protect against the chill that pervaded the air around the glass. Looking out, you could barely make out the disturbances the rain made to the surface of the water through the darkness, and yet you still found yourself mesmerized by the beauty of the view. You were drawn out of your reverie when John's voice sounded out behind you. "So, tell me about work. Is that woman causing problems again? What's her name, Kar-" He said as he entered the room. When his voice cut off you looked over your shoulder to find him staring at you with wonder in his eyes. You quickly looked out the window to see what he was staring at but couldn't spot anything particularly special.

"What are you looking at?" You asked, turning back right as he walked over to you. He didn't respond; instead, his hands found their way inside your blanket to grab your hips and push you back against the window. Mild panic set in before he finally spoke up. "John?"

"You're so beautiful." He said, dropping his head to kiss along your neck. You huffed in disbelief and reached up to push against his shoulders.

"You're crazy," Your pressing did little to dissuade him from his task, and you couldn't help but smile as he continued to mutter praises into your skin. "John," You chuckled as he continued to nuzzle into your neck. "Stop it, you're fogging up the glass," Your protests were growing half-hearted though, as his hands began to wander, and his lips trailed softly over your skin.

"And?" He questioned, pulling you back enough that your blanket fell to the floor before moving back forward so you were pressed against the icy cold glass. You yelped at the shock the temperature difference gave your system, trying to shove him back and pull him closer for warmth at the same time, both to no avail.

"I was enjoying the view," You said, breathlessly in a last-ditch attempt to persuade him. He pulled back to look you in the eyes before he responded.

"I've got a much better one right in front of me." His lips found yours and you melted against him. The kiss bordered on desperate, almost as if he was afraid you'd disappear. His hands left a trail of goosebumps behind as the heat of his skin emphasized the chill in the air, sliding up your arms and down your back before moving to play with the skin just beneath your waistband. A whine left you as he dipped his fingers inside to tease at your lips, sliding around and deftly avoiding everywhere you wanted him. Just as you were about to pull back and tell him to stop teasing, he thrust two fingers deep inside you, drawing a surprised gasp from you. "So wet for me," He mumbled against your lips as he began to thrust his fingers inside you. Each pass brushed up against your g spot until you were practically seeing stars and begging him for more. Suddenly, his fingers were gone, and you opened your eyes to find him licking your juices off of them. You let out a desperate whine.

"John, please, please fuck me." You said, reaching out to palm him through his boxers. His hand grabbed your wrist before you could touch him, though, and he spun you around. 

"As the lady wishes." He leaned in and said against your ear. He reached down and pulled himself free from his boxers. John didn't bother to remove your own underwear, instead just sliding them to the side before slowly working his length inside you. You groaned in relief as he began to thrust slowly, pulling out and pushing back in to make sure you were ready. His cock dragged perfectly against every sensitive spot you had, sending pleasure shooting through your body and making your toes curl. Seeming satisfied with your preparedness he began to pick up his pace, hitting deeper inside you with every push. You yelped as his fingers found your nipples, tweaking and pulling on the sensitive buds as you moaned out his name. A hand left your skin and reached up to swipe across the glass, revealing your reflection. "Look. Do you see how fucking gorgeous you are? So beautiful, and mine." He nipped at the skin beneath your ear as his hand moved down your front to rub harsh circles on your clit. You threw your head back against his shoulder, eyes falling shut at the added sensation, but a sharp bite made them shoot open again. "Eyes open, baby girl. I want you to watch as I make you fall apart around me." Your eyes found his in the reflection, and you moaned at the way his pupils were blown wide with lust.

"Please, John, I need more-" You gasped deeply as his thrusts began to pick up speed, knocking you up onto your toes and forcing you to throw your hands up against the glass for support. Your reflection revealed how utterly wrecked you were, and the sight sent you flying over the edge with a scream of John's name. He buried his face in your neck as he continued to thrust, chasing his own release and prolonging yours as you gasped and sputtered, unable to form words thanks to the electric waves of pleasure flowing through you. Just when you thought you couldn't handle anymore, John's thrusts faltered, and he came with a deep groan. He rested his forehead on your shoulder as he waited for his breathing to return to normal, mumbling 'I love you's and pressing kisses into your heated skin. Out of nowhere tears began to flow down your cheeks, a quiet sob escaping you. John immediately noticed, and carefully pulled out of you before turning you around to run his hands over you in concern.

"(Y/n), what's wrong? I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm so sorry, sweetheart-" The panic in his voice made the tears come harder, and you struggled to voice what was happening.

"No, you didn't hurt me-" You hiccupped. "I just- don't deserve you." Confusion crossed his face as he processed what you were telling him.

"What? You-" He seemed to come to a decision, and he went and grabbed his phone, quickly pulling up the dial pad. "Here. Call your work and tell them you're taking the rest of the week off. If they ask why then tell them police business."

"What? John, I can't just-" 

"You've got tons of time off saved up, right?" He cut you off, still holding the phone out.

"Well yes, but-"

"Then, by law, they can't stop you from taking it." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control your breathing and stop the tears.

"Why are you doing this?" You asked, finally looking up at him.

"Because I want to spend the next 5 days showing you just how amazing you are." He said, so confident, so resolute, that you found yourself reaching out to grab the phone.