#like I was trying to drag the green out and then I pulled back adn went wait a minute

[thelibraryofsylphide]

Loki, the Weapon

Loki Moodboard trilogy: 1 | 2 | 3

Special mentions of shit I really wanted to add but didn't know how:

[celestialrry]

nerves

4.8k

HELLLLO IM WRITING THIS INTRO AND POSTING THIS WHILE FALLING ASLEEP SO ILL POST ALL THE DETAILS ADN ADD THIS TO MU MASTERLIST LATER I LOVE TOU ALL THANK YOU FOR FOLOWING AND REBLOGGIN KISSES FOT YOU ALL (this is like right after release of hs1 harry I think hope you enjoy mwah)

summary: Actress!Y/N goes onto a talk show, and the host has a surprise for her.

warnings: cursing, kinda sorta an anxiety attack?

Y/N was nervous.

This would only be the 5th talk show she’s ever gone on alone after being in the spotlight for a few years when her acting career took off. She started off with indie films and soon made her way to the red carpet, working with esteemed actors and actress’s she could only ever dream of meeting. It was pure bliss.

Of course, fame came with other struggles like hate from the media and random people on twitter, but at the end of the day she was so grateful she had the opportunity to be in the business. She loved getting into a character, finding out what makes them click, and fully emerging herself in whatever film she’s in. At the moment, she was promoting her new film, and being the lead, she had gone on a few talk show’s by herself, but they never failed to make her sick to her stomach. Having no one to turn to when it gets awkward, even not having body heat by her side in front of a live audience and a professional host made her body rack with goosebumps.

“Miss L/N?” 

Her head turned towards the door of the dressing room she had been sitting in for 15 minutes alone, trying to get her nerves down. “Yes?’ She responded flashing a forced smile to the assistant standing in the door way. “They’re ready for you.” She nodded her head and stood up, brushing the non-existent dust off her long dress and tumbled a bit on her heels to follow the assistant that was already walking towards the side stage. 

They instructed her to wait until her name was called, then walk onto stage and take a seat and have the show progress. So Y/N stood there, biting her bottom lip that was coated with clear gloss and her arms crossed around her waist, her heel covered toe tapping the floor in anticipation. 

“Now welcome our very special, and gorgeous guest, Y/N L/N!” She heard Jimmy Kimmel announce and took a short breath before stepping through the automatically opening curtains. She smiled and waved at the people sitting in the audience, happy to see people supporting her, and greeted Jimmy before taking a seat on the loveseat closest to his desk.

“Y/N! Welcome, how are you feeling tonight?” He flashed a comforting smile at her. 

She chuckled a bit due to her inability to not laugh in uncomfortable situations. “I’ll be honest with you Jimmy,” She said, adjusting herself in the seat. “M’ pretty nervous.”

“Nervous?” He asked. “Now, why would 2 time Emmy Nominee Miss Y/N L/N be nervous?” Jimmy teased.

Her eyes fell to the floor and her cheeks heated up before looking back at him. “Because,” She dragged out. “It’s always nerve-racking being on live TV.”

He just nodded and made a joke about feeling the same even though he does this every week.

“How are you feeling tonight?” She asked.

He smiled before resting his arms on his desk. “I’m feeling good, I have a surprise for you later, but I’m supposed to ask the questions now, will you let me?”

“Of course I will.” She smiled back.

Y/N met Jimmy the first year she really became “famous” and he had always been her favorite late-night talk show host just because he was never invasive or creepy. Her standards for hosts were quite low at this point. They continued on, promoting her new movie and such before he settled back in his seat. 

“So.” He said.

“So.” She said back, raising a brow.

“I hate to ask you this, but I honestly am curious myself,” He began, and her anxiety creeped up just a bit. “Now, we dug through your old interviews, and it seems in every single one, when asked if you had a celebrity crush, your answer was Harry Styles?”

She simply nodded, her cheeks heating up again, and a small smile creeping onto her face at his name. 

“I see that smile, Y/N.” Jimmy said, and she let out a laugh, her smile now wide.

“So, do you mind telling us why you like him so much, or should I say love him so much?” His brow raised.

Y/N laughed a bit more, just at her nerves, and took a breath. “Um, he’s always been such an inspiration for me to actually chase my career, I mean I knew him from when he was on X-Factor to be honest. Binged that show all the time when I was in middle school and to see a boy just 2 years older than me just go straight into being in one of the biggest boy-bands in the world was insane. He’s just so passionate about what he does and I admire him for that. Uh- from what I can tell he’s just very charming, sweet, funny, caring, and…” She trailed off her rant, biting her bottom lip just a tad.

“And?”

“He’s incredibly attractive.” She finished a smile on her face as she glanced at the floor again.

“Understandable. I think he’s a good looking man myself, met him a few times and got flustered,” Jimmy jokes before looking at Y/N. “What if I told you he was the surprise I had for you?”

Her brows furrow as she looks at the man sitting across from her. “What? Do you mean like a video-” She feels a tap on her shoulder. 

Y/N turns around, still massively confused, and then she sees him.

Harry standing in a simple black suit and white button up, only a few of the buttons actually buttoned and her jaw drops. “Hello.” He says, smiling at her.

Her eyes are wide and she looks like a dear in headlights before her face falls into her hands, elbows resting on her knees, her breath erratic. “No, this isn’t- no. He’s not here.” She says into her hands and the crowd laughs. Everyone laughs. 

“M’a bit offended you think I’m not really here, love.” Harry grins, and she pulls her face out of her shaking hands to see him.

She opens her mouth to say something and nothing comes out. 

Harry Styles, her celebrity crush since the ripe age of 14, a crush thats lasted 8 years being 22 now, and she’s only seen him on screens her entire life. “Fuck.” Was all she can say. He laughs a bit at her starstruck appearance and turns to Jimmy. “She’s not normally like this, right?”

“Right.” The host jokes, looking back at the girl on the couch, and his smile diminishes a bit. Her eyes are watering and she’s trying to keep her composure but her bottom lip is trembling and Jimmy’s now worried he’s about to have a sobbing woman on live TV.

“You okay Y/N?” Jimmy asks and her head quickly turns to him and then back to Harry. “I-fuck, I’m sorry.” She tries to laugh it off. Tries not to think about how the man she’s loved even before she knew what love truly was, was standing in front of her right now. 

“Don’t be sorry.” Harry says, slightly frowning but trying to keep a happy face. He’s standing in front of a girl he’s adored ever since he watched her first movie, for Christs sake, and she’s silently about to break down in front of him, because of him. 

Before he can even properly introduce himself, she’s standing on her heels, wobbling a bit, and looking up at him. “Can I hug you?” She mouths, not wanting her question to be picked up on the mic on the back of her dress and before her mouth even closes he’s stepping towards her, big arms wrapping around her waist. Her arms find their way around his chest and her head is resting on his shoulder and her eyes are squeezed shut and she’s mouthing “Oh my fucking god. Oh my god.” Without realizing she’s facing the audience who laugh at her inability to not fangirl. His head dips as he hugs her, reveling in her touch, and then she’s pulling away, remembering they’re on live TV and she can give him a proper hug backstage after this is over when they don’t have to worry about appearances. 

She’s still reeling when his hands slide off her waist and he sticks his hand out and says “It’s so nice to meet you.” She takes his calloused hand in hers and says “Same to you.” Blinking away unshed tears.

“Shall we sit then?” He asks and she looks at Jimmy admiring the moment before back at Harry. “You’re staying?” She blurts out before shutting her mouth abruptly. 

“If you want me too.” He grins that grin she’s always been infatuated by and she nods, maybe too quickly. “Of course I do- yes,” She coughs. “Yeah, uh, please, let’s.”

They both plant themselves on the loveseat, Y/N taking the spot in which she was before and Harry sitting on the other end, keeping a distance between the two. She recomposes herself and sits up. Harry looks at her for a moment before looking back at Jimmy. 

“How are y’Jimmy?” He asks.

“I’m doing well, proud of myself for inviting you, you’re the one person I’ve seen make Y/N go absolutely speechless here,” Jimmy jokes and Y/N groans and smiles, leaning her top half on the arm of the chair, her face in her hands before sitting back up. “How about you, Harry?”

“M’doing well, was very excited to see Y/N here and I’d hopefully say it’s the same for her.” He smiles looking at her, dimples flashing.

“Yeah!” Her voice squeaks. “You’re right. It’s the same for me. I-” She cut’s herself off from saying she’s shitting her pants at the moment. Figuratively, of course, but it’s not very appropriate. She still can’t believe this. Twitter is going to have a field day talking about how flustered Y/N was at this moment.  

“Have something you want to say, Y/N? To Harry, more specifically?” Jimmy asks.

“Um,” She begins, locking eyes with Harry. “Did you hear, what I said, um, before you walked out here?” 

The green eyed man nods. 

Her hands start shaking again and she awkwardly laughs. “I’m sorry you heard that.” She apologizes. 

“Why are you apologizing?” Harry asks her, tilting his head and Y/N was going to pass out. “I’m glad you think all those things about me, plus, it’s a nice ego booster to hear that you think I’m ‘incredibly attractive’.” He chuckles a bit, but truthfully he was happy his celebrity crush feels the same way about him.

She just laughs back and mumbles a “Thanks.” Before Jimmy starts up a conversation about whatever was going on at the moment.

Jimmy and Harry start talking about something and Y/N nods her head and laughs when it’s appropriate but she couldn’t process anything. Her hands were interlocked, shaking in her lap, and all she could feel was Harry. Harry sitting next to her, Harry breathing next to her, Harry waving his hands around while he spoke in front of her. It was all too much. 

Suddenly his knee lightly knocked against her own. She abruptly turned to look at him, but he was still looking at Jimmy. So she assumed it was a mistake, until it happened again, and this time when her eyes looked to him, his met her’s and he gently and subtly moved closer to their thighs were touching. Y/N let the leg that was crossed over her other relax and fall to the couch, only her ankles crossed, and she swore she could hear his breath stop for a moment, but it was too quiet to be sure.

A few moments after they both had gained the courage to barely revel in each others touch, Jimmy was ending the show. Y/N doesn’t remember what she said or did before the camera cut off, she vaguely remembers waving to the audience but she’s not completely sure. 

And then it’s over- just like that.

“This was so fun Jimmy, thank you for inviting me on.” Harry said, standing up (reluctantly) and going to give Jimmy a hug. Y/N on the other hand was watching the interaction and it all hit her like a wave again. Harry fucking Styles was standing in front of her. The men both turn to her as she stands up and she gives a weak smile and mumbles “I forgot I needed to text my assistant, m’sorry I’ll be back.” before speed walking behind the curtain and booking it to her dressing room. She quickly flips the “Do Not Disturb” side of the sign on the door to show and closes the door behind her, her breathing accelerating. 

She barely makes it to the couch before bursting out in tears.

Y/N couldn’t really put a finger on whether or not they were tears of joy, sadness, embarrassment, or a combination of all 3. She’s pretty sure it’s the latter though. She slips her heels off and lies on the couch, her hands over her face with not so silent cries as she tries to calm herself. 

Meanwhile, both Harry and Jimmy sensed that Y/N wasn’t just going to text her assistant. “Do you think- do you think I said something maybe?” Harry quietly asks the late night host as they walk behind the curtain and into a quieter hallway backstage. Jimmy simply shakes his head before locking eyes with Harry. “Have you seen any of the videos where she talks about you, Harry?”

He shakes his head no and the older man pulls out his phone, doing a quick scroll of his email before finding video file and opening it. “A couple of interns here made this combination of all the times she talked about you in her interviews.”We were gonna play it as you were coming out but her manager said it would be too embarrassing.” Was the only preface Jimmy gave before clicking play.

Y/N stood in an elegant emerald colored gown just off the red carpet, all done up for her first big movie premiere. An interviewer stands in front of her, holding a mic that the woman was moving between herself and Y/N. “So Miss L/N, we need some juicy secrets from the “It-Girl” herself. Who’s your celebrity crush?” Y/N looks at the floor, a shy smile on her face as the quietly says “Harry Styles.” The interviewer’s eyes widen and she chuckles a bit. “I feel you honey, what do you like most about him?” Y/N purses her lips slightly before speaking again. “Um, everything? I think he has a really good heart.” The interviewer makes a joke about how she likes his eyes instead and Y/N laughs, but anyone could tell it was forced. 

The screen begins to play another clip. 

Y/N is sitting on a couch with her co-stars of a movie she did a year ago, dressed in a classy blush colored suit, and they’re all playing a game with some other talk show host. “Let’s see who knows Y/N the best now, shall we?” The host asks, and looks down at the cards in his hand. “Who is her celebrity crush?” And almost immediately all of her friends were jotting down their answers on a white board. “That was fast,” The host laughs, as does everyone else. “Okay everyone, flip it around.” ‘Harry Styles’ was written on every single board. “Oh my god.” She smiles wide out of embarrassment and puts her face in her hands. 

It reminds Harry of what she did when she first saw him.

“Y/N! Looks like you’re absolutely smitten with Harry Styles, aren’t you?” The host asks, and before she could even open her mouth, a co-star of hers was already speaking. “She’d play his songs in her trailer in the morning, full volume, and sing them as loud as she could. It was a good way to wake us all up.” He jokes, and everyone laughs at that. “Whenever he’d post a photo on instagram, or tweet something, I’d see tears in her eyes.” Another co-star speaks up. The audience laughs again and she looks to them. ‘I’m serious! Y/N absolutely adores him.” By this time Y/N’s face was out of her hands and she was sinking into the couch. “Are you embarrassed, Y/N/?” The host jokes “Of course not, well I didn’t want to get absolutely exposed, but I’m not embarrassed to be a fan, could never be embarrassed to be a fan of him, he’s… he’s amazing.”

The phone then fades into yet another clip.

This time, Y/N is sitting in a stool, doing the Wired Autocomplete Interview, and she tears off the second paper of the question, “Is Y/N L/N…” . “Is Y/N L/N,” she reads and the paper catches after the word “dating” is revealed. She looks up at the screen, a twinkle in her eyes as she shoots a close-mouthed smile at the camera. She turns back to the board and rips the paper off, struggling a bit and laughing, until it’s revealed. “Is Y/n L/N dating… Harry Styles”  She bursts out laughing, her free hand clutching her stomach.

Harry frowns a but at this, and he didn’t feel like thinking more about why.

 “Um,” She begins, “Sorry, I just- do I really talk about him, that much? S’a bit concerning.” She mumbles to herself. “Yeah, no, I’m not dating Harry Styles, he would never. Though, I like how people think it could be a possibility, thats quite funny. I’ll take the… hidden compliment, is that even the right phrase?”

The screen goes to another clip but Jimmy pauses it there and turns off his phone, turning to Harry. “You didn’t do anything Harry, it’s just you being here, she’s probably overwhelmed and-“

“Mr. Kimmel? Jones needs you.” Someone calls out to him down the hall and Jimmy slips his phone in this pocket and sighs. “Sorry, gotta handle this, thank you, for coming.”

“It’s okay,” Harry assures him, “Thanks for having me.” And at that Jimmy rushes down the hall in search of Jones, and Harry stands in the same spot

Harry knows how much he means to his fans, he’s seen them sob at concerts, break down at meet and greets, and when they tell him how much they love him when they run into him on the street. He knows this. But this felt different, for some reason. Maybe it was the burning feeling in his chest when she laughed off how he would never be with her, for what particular reason he has no clue (or just doesn’t want to address it), or how he couldn’t help but pop a dimple when he heard she loves his music. He wasn’t sure.

What he was sure of though, is that he needed to speak to her again, hug her for longer, actually get to know Y/N. So he walked into the main back room, walking down different halls until he came across the one that read “Dressing Room #4” and Y/N’s name scribbled in messy handwriting on the white board underneath. He knocked a little rhythm, and waited.

Y/N was still crying, to put it lightly. Maybe hyperventilating was the right word, because she was breathing quite fast, and there was a steady stream of tears flowing down her cheeks. She heard the knocks and attempted to calm herself down a bit, yelling out a “One second!” Before wiping under her eyes and walking to open the door. “Eliana,” She began, ready to wave her assistant way (not that she didn’t adore her, but Y/N needed to be alone before talking about everything), “Can you come back in like 15 minutes, I’m sorry I just need to-”

Her mouth closed when she saw Harry outside of her door, his small smile quickly fading into a frown as he took in her state. “Y/N I wanted to- are you okay?” He asked, stepping a bit closer, trying not to push any boundaries. When she didn’t respond and he saw her bottom lip quiver a bit, his chest clenched. “Can I come in? Can we talk?” He gently asked, eyes running over her puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, and disheveled appearance. 

She nodded and he walked in, and she gently shut the door behind him. He turned around to look at her and when his eyes met her’s, she couldn’t take it anymore. She let out a gut-wrenching sob and her face fell in her hands as she shook her head. “I-I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.” She choked out and he stepped towards her, his hand coming to rest on her elbow. “Y/N, please, don’t apologize.” And without thinking he took the last step towards her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her firmly, one of his hands cradling the back of her head. Her hands fell from her face and she held him back, arms wrapping tightly around his torso yet again.

As she cried into his chest, he mumbled a soft, “Breathe for me, love.”, and she tried to get her breathing to match his own deep breathes. “I’m sorry,” Y/N says for the millionth time. “I told you to stop apologizing, Y/N, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He frowns to himself, that burning feeling in his chest again. She reluctantly pulls away, and his hands remain on her arms as her own come up to wipe the tears flowing out of her eyes. 

“You didn’t sign up to be here and have to deal with a crying fan, Harry.” Y/N sighs, finally looking up at him. 

“Hey, I came because I wanted to see you, I’ve seen your movies and I think everything you’re absolutely incredible at what you do, and when Jimmy called asking if I could come to surprise you I jumped at the chance to finally meet you. I know what I signed up for.” He says, his thumbs rubbing the skin of her arms gently.

At his words she let out another sob, her shaking hands coming up to cover her face for a moment yet again. Harry’s eyes widened, he was telling the honest truth, and he didn’t think he said anything wrong. Y/N however, was seeing in person, how king he truly was, and it was just another reality check that the Harry she’s loved for so long really is the same in real life; it was too much to handle. “Thank you,” She sniffles, looking up at him again, meeting his piercing green eyes. “I just, I’ve adored you for years, still do, and I never thought I’d meet you, even after I started getting ‘known’, I always thought you were like, too perfect to be real, and now you’re here and you’re real, and y’know when you meet a celebrity who seems so sweet in interviews and all that but they turn out to be an absolute prick? It’s not like that, you’re the same person I’ve loved over a screen, I- you’ve been my inspiration for fucking years and I don’t know. It’s just a lot.” 

Now her hands were on his arms and they stood there for a moment, just looking at each other.

“M’not perfect, Y/N.” Harry says softly. Y/n chuckles a bit, glancing to the side before meeting his eyes yet again. “I know, I know the ‘nobody’s perfect’ crap, but if you’re insistent on it, then I think you’re the closest thing there is to perfect, Harry.”

His cheeks turn pink at her confession, and a small smile weaves its way onto his face. “Thank you,” He finally says, before bringing her into another hug, this time her arms wrapped around his neck, and he bends down a bit to hold her tighter. “For everything you said, seriously, you’ve got no idea how much it means t’me.” He admits, still reveling in her touch. She slowly pulls away, noting in her head that he never seems to be the one to let go first. “Of course, wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” She smiles weakly, still drained from all the emotions flowing through her. He just smiles at that, before his hand drags down her arm and he hold her hand, wordlessly pulling her over to sit on the couch. 

He doesn’t let go of her hand as they sit quite close facing each other. “Do y’wanna hear a secret? It might make you feel better.” He suggests, cursing himself for being willing to do anything to see her smile fully. “I wish I could lie and say that it’s something I wouldn’t know, but I think I know a bit too much about you.” She says, letting out a small laugh, and he does too. “I promise you don’t know this.” He mumbles.

“Okay, go for it.” She says, holding his hand a bit tighter. 

“Well, after you bolted here, Jimmy showed me a few of your interviews, and I wanted to tell you that you’re my celebrity crush too.”

Her jaw drops and her eyes widen, a face that looks eerily similar to when she saw him for the first time just an hour prior. “You saw my interviews?” She gasps, her voice cracking at the embarrassment of him seeing her shamelessly confessing her love for him about a million times. It was safe to say she didn’t hear the rest of his confession.

“That’s what you’re focusing on here?” Harry laughs and raises a brow at Y/N.

“What else is there to focus on,” She groans, taking her hand out of his and burying her face into her hands yet again. “I can’t believe Jimmy showed you that, I’m never coming on this show again.” 

Harry grins, a dimple popping as he gently wraps his arms around her wrists, pulling her hands off her face. “Did y’hear what I said after that?” He asks softly, his eyes bring into her own. She shakes her head “no” in response and he takes a quick breath before telling her yet again. 

“I said, you’re my celebrity crush too. I’ve watched everything you’ve been in and I think y’are absolutely amazing, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t think you’re beautiful, inside and out.”

Y/N’s jaw drops for the thousandth time that night. 

 “You’re fucking with me.” She deadpans, her face blank and mind swimming with emotions.

He frowns and squeezes her hands. “M’not, swear to you.”

She shakes her head in denial. There’s no way she was Harry Style’s celebrity crush. Not in a million years would she ever think those words would be spoken, much less even thought of.

“You don’t believe me?” Harry asks, his head tilting a bit to the side.

“I believe tha you’re just too nice and you feel bad for me, so that’s why you’re telling me this.” Y/N admits to him, a sad smile on her face.

“Really?” He asks, letting go of her hands and bringing one of his own to his pocket. 

“Really. I appreciate it, I do, but you don’t have to try and make me feel less humiliated, I think we’ve already passed the point of no return.” Y/N says, laughing a bit.

“Mmm, okay,” He smirks. “Well that just won’t do. May I have your number?” 

She raises a brow as he pushes his phone into her hands, already pulled up on a new contact. She types in her number and “#1 fan” in the name and hand the phone back to him. Harry laughs when he sees the contact name and saves it to his phone, then putting it back in his pocket. 

“What was that?” 

“What was what?” Harry muses, a teasing glint in his eye.

She purses her lips. “Why did you just ask for my number?”

“So I can contact you of course,” Harry smiles. “How else am I supposed to set up another date with you?”

“Another?” Y/N questions, her lips turning up.

“’m a gentleman of course, would never ask you out on a first date over the phone,” Harry calmly explains. “So would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night?”

Y/n hesitates, unsure if this was still an ask out of pity. “You can meet me at my house, of course if you’re comfortable, and I’ll order us takeout to eat on my porch.” He continues, getting more exciting as he imagines how the date would go. 

“What makes you think I’d say yes?” She teases and his mouth gapes. 

“Oh fuck off.”

[somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds]

some John/Des/Gary goodness!

this little fic is brought to you by @liberalautisticqueernerd831, who wanted a fic of this ship and Des and Gary being a little jealous but gelling together over time. Here you go! I hope you enjoy!

Gary couldn't be happier for John. 

Seriously, he couldn’t be.

Des was free from Neron’s grasp, the timeline was back in order, and John and Des were working on getting back together. A happy ending for everyone. He was not jealous of Des, not at all.

He wasn’t jealous of that crooked smile John had for Des that Gary had been privy to for a while beforehand. He wasn’t jealous of the way John would leave his hand on Des’s shoulder, squeezing there gently, or the way he’d lean up and kiss him on the lips, cup the side of his face while he did so.

“Sounds like you’re jealous,” Nora said, not looking up from her latest Rebecca Silver book, and Gary groaned, leaning back in the spare chair he brought in.

“I’m not,” he nearly whined. “I’m just - I’m being supportive. 100% in support of John being happy again.”

“With someone else.”

“I - with the man he loved and lost and got back again, of course I’m happy for him,” Gary argued, sitting up then to look at her. “It’s not fair that I try and keep a hold on him when they’re meant to be together.”

Des was in a much better state of mind than he had been for the last few months. He wasn’t in hell, and his body wasn’t inhabited by a demon that fed on causing pain and destruction. True, yes, he was still in recovery from the possession, and he still had a ways to go at feeling right as rain once again, but he was making progress every day. And John was there for every step of the way, always at his side and ready to listen whenever the voice in his head grew too loud to bear.

That didn’t mean he didn’t recognize the signs between John and Agent Gary Greene when he saw them. John had told him about how they were together when he was under Neron’s influence, and stuck in Hell. Des wasn’t upset about it, he understood. For all John knew, he was lost to him forever and needed comfort, and found it in someone else. He couldn’t fault him for that, and Gary was, frankly, cute.

However, he could tell that the relationship wasn’t completely over, over.

For all intents and purposes, it appeared that they had attempted to convert their relationship to a work partnership only, and it was fairly successful. Except, he noticed when Gary was staring at John’s mouth instead of his eyes, or the looks they shared over a spellbook, or when John’s hand rested on Gary’s lower back before abruptly clasping it against his shoulder when Gary solved a piece of a case.

But no, he wasn’t jealous. Why would he be jealous?

So, there was a siren on the loose in 17th century France, and Des let himself into the office where the Legends were discussing their big plan to capture the creature and bring them back to the Bureau. Des watched from the doorway as Gary stood next to John, then propped himself up on his arms on the table to look over some old texts and battle plans. John turned to him as he went over ways to stop a siren, how he needs these certain herbs to complete a spell. Gary was nodding and writing down notes in his binder, and as he straightened up he nudged against John’s shoulder, almost on instinct. John squeezed his shoulder once, also apparently on instinct, and they shared a look that settled low in Des’s core.

It was petty when he cleared his throat and coughed once, adn John’s attention turned from Gary to him, and he got up from his chair, kissing him on the lips. “Hey, darling.”

“Hey,” Des smiled. “So, what's the plan?”

John tells him but there’s an advantage to Des being taller than him, it means he can glance over John’s head to Gary’s smile looking incredibly fake, like it was a sloppy bandaid to cover up an injury. He caught Des’s gaze and they both held it for a few seconds too long, before Gary nodded and turned away first.

Des thinks about that look over tea that’s grown cold while he’s back in his room to recover further, trying to decipher it. That usual smile that Gary always had for him, was always strained when John was in the picture.

Over the past two weeks, it was clear to them both that this had emerged to passive-aggression. Sneaking a touch from John whenever possible (not too difficult) gaining his attention in the room and lording it over the other one for that brief period of time.

Except, every time John rested a hand on the base of Gary’s neck and looked him in the eyes, spoke in that low tone of voice and Gary looked at him like he was the entire world, Des felt a pang of something that wasn’t quite jealous, wasn’t quite sadness.

Except, every time John led Desk into a kiss (or Des led John inot a kiss) and Des would have that soft, understanding look in his eyes that soothes even the deepest scars, Gary felt a pull at his core that he couldn't chalk up to envy.

Des studied his hand, as John took a swig from his flask during the slow, easy pace of their late night card game. That question of his own feelings towards Gary made him ask John, “So, Gary.”

“Yeah?” John asked, getting a cigarette out of the pocket of his jacket, then fumbled for a lighter. “What about him?”

“You told me you - broke up.”

“I’m the one that left him,” John admitted softly, lighting the cigarette and taking a long drag. “Long before I found you again, or knew where to find you.”

Des shook his head. Of course, he should have known. He thought they had both stepped apart before he had come back into the picture. “Johnny-”

“I panicked, Des. I - I liked him, maybe - maybe even more than just that. But I’d just lost you, and I couldn’t stand the thought of losing him, too.”

Des nodded, the wheels turning in his head as John decided to fold his hand and take another drink.

Des made his way down to Nora’s cell, at a different time than when they’d meet up and bond over being formerly possessed. He slowly approached when he heard Gary’s voice.

“I know, I sound dumb.”

“Only a little,” Nora answered back. “But that’s kind of why I like you.”

“Wow, thanks,” Gary laughed, and Des could see the wide grin stretched across his face as he gathered up his things in the cell. “I’ll talk to you later, Nora.”

“Bye.”

Gary left the cell and was so busy adjusting his suit jacket that he didn’t notice Des until he quite literally ran into him. He looked up and then looked away, telling the wall behind him, “Oh, sorry, excuse me.”

“Hey, wait,” Des said, putting a hand on Gary’s arm. “I want to talk to you about-” “John, I know,” Gary nodded. “Look, I know, it’s not - we broke up and you’re back together. I don’t want him upset like when he lost you again. I’m not going to interfere with you b-” He placed a hand on Des’s arm to push him off but found himself pausing, not making to pull away just yet for no real reason.

“Listen, Gary, we both love John.”

“...I didn’t say that I l-”

“I can tell,” Des smiled, a real smile that he found wasn’t so difficult. “And I think he feels that way about you.”

“He said-”

“We know John, we know he always drinks from a half-empty glass.” Des put his free hand over Gary’s on his arm, and watched a smile pull at Gary’s lips. “And frankly, I think pulling him out of that mindset is a two-man job.”

Gary’s smile finally broke out across his face. “Oh, really now?”

“Definitely.”

John stubbed out a cigarette and attempted to comb through his hair with his fingers, deciding he was satisfied with his results before opening the door to Des’s recovery room.

He was surprised to see that Gary was also here, sitting at the table across from Des. They were sharing a cup of coffee and playing a round of cards, smiling and laughing, that icy tension dissolved between them. They looked up when they saw John come.

Gary scooted the extra chair back from the table, and beamed that brilliant smile at John as Des ges tired for John to accept the chair.

“Hey, come be with us, babe.”

One of John’s real smiles, adorably crooked as they were, was on his lips as he closed the door, and joined both of the men he...loved, at the table.

[midnightmisadventures]

Dream cappp lmao

So last night b4 bed i said im gonna shuffle for what hes dreaming about/what to look for as a sign if i join him. To see if its him, tap into telepathic comm.

I got ride by lana, and godless. So i went to bed with the intention and was on the lookout

Uhh what was interesting is that, we were together and i was with him like the whole time. I cant remember anything about the signs necessarily but for the past few nights he's just been "there" or in our group.

But tonight we were like soft dating and it was v cute. I just liked being attached at the hip and walking with him everywhere. We were in and out of the truck going places together and i love thatt. Lol so maybe ride was mentioned and i missed it

So we were in this classroom setting. Lately ive been having setups from that old reoccuring dream where im trying to catch my bus before it leaves in pvi. So we were in a math classroom, most of the squad, and then one day i pulled up with Liam. And everyone was already there and i thought it was cool to be walking in there with him as like his date, cause i saw some of our friends were jealous.

And we immediately sat down and started laughing and joking and being cute but also apart of the group as a pair. And so weird, we're sitting there and a commercial plays thats an ad for this new show. Like sitcom or something right. And the tv show is called "The Sad Tylers" and it was in big block blue letters. The show was about basically your typical sitcom family but everyone is sad and not positive and grumpy and mean??

And apparently in the dream that was an idea that Liam had come up with soooo long ago. And we both were so shook like holy shit you literally said this? hahaha so stupid. But we were so excited and trying to tell everyone like "omg omg liam literally said this.....god we had just met, so it had to be? September right?" just being so obnoxiously and couply haha.

So then another section, we were in this theater, i dont know if ive said this often but lately im like alwayssssss in an opera style theater with traditional red curtains and dome seating at least once every dream. Sometimes im trying to get my seats and i came late, sometimes im sitting in the back with friends during a movie? play? sometimes im on stage learning a play, and sometimes im on stage at night when its empty talking shit with my friends.

No idea what that means.

But we were in the theater and i was with liam and friends/fam. BUt i had to go to the bathroom. Yep u guessed it. It wsa that scary bathroom. I go and i close the stall and right after me comes in elijah and some other people and he was crying and ranting and they went into the stall next to me but didnt know i was there.

I however, noticed i was on my period and bled through my jeans. It was covered by my cardigan so no one saw it and i could hide it temporarily but i needed to change.

So i was thinking what could i do? i dont wanna go home cause i dragged liam here and it would be weird to leave without him. Then i remembered liam and i had full packed luggages in his trunk, duh! lol no srsly where were we going. But yea, so i just needed to get his keys and grab a change of clothes. No biggie.

So i go out to the theatre again, covering my embarrasing blood. And i dont see liam, so i start asking people. Like did you see where Liam went? And i asked my dad and he said "oh Liam hes getting into some trouble" and i was like huh? wym. But then he said like, why u need his car, i could help you? And i was like noo why is my dad making this a moment right now, its not about that i need my clothes.

SO i went outside looking for the truck and for him, and i kept seeing his car but then i would get close and it was like a dark green instead of black or wrong license plate like they were all almost him but not him. Adn i think i found it. Also outside of the "theater" was just a elongated chipperfield driveway.

[aliciavspinnet]

💫 🌻 🐝 ✨ (natalie) (lol) 💛 (okay so i was greedy & i want them all) (also ur choice of emojis made me giggle) (wtf is the middle one omg omgmgmgmg) (also pls forgive me pls for being the worst person in the world on kik) (i stg my love for you has not changed one bit i'm just The Antisocial Queen) (also i love you did i mention that?)

(natalie? rly? i never knew?)(lol it’s not like i have a tag dedicated 2 ur beautiful existence or anything)(also it’s a bee!!)(i luv bees)(and ahhhh i love u no matter what (also messaging can be stressful so plz never do it when ya don’t wanna do it))(also so sorrry this took 5eva u were literally the last one in my inbox and also i had to do it right) 

it’s all under the cut (cause i mean it’s long) 

trash aesthetic ratehumor category thing: memes / dad jokes / sarcasm / awkward pauses and rambles one of these: …wtf / *cries* / m8 / fight me a piece of kiwi slang (this is mia’s fault): chur / shot gee / yeah nah / cuzzies / GC one line of trash: when ur on a road trip with ur friends and the music is blasting really loud like super loud and ur singing to each other and the windows are down adn ur having a rocking time and the music isn’t exactly main stream it’s more like this is a fun lol (like mamma mia or something idk) and then u pull up to a traffic light and ur keeping on at it and then someone comes up next to u and they stare at u for a bit cause they r like who are these crazy people? and u don’t realise it but then one of u points it out to the others and ur all like oh my heck nooooOoo and it seems like forever until the traffic light turns green ur super embarrassed but also dying of laughter aesthetic rate water / fire / earth / wind silver / gold / rose gold / bronze merfolk / faries (well pixies but yeah) / dragons / witch or wizard stars / moon / galaxies / constellations dawn / noon / dusk / midnight natalie: fruit ciders, road trips, seeking adventure, beanies and blankets, the embodiment of the word cozy, over-sized pajama tops, tipsy giggles, secluded pieces of nature that look like pixie hollows, well worn favourite pieces of clothing, quirky doodles, tipsy giggles, the soothing warmth of the sun on your back, clowning around in public with friends (because when your with them you feel like you’re in a movie and everything is magical) compliment: w o w where do i start? natalie honestlyyyyyY ur amazing and i have said it a zillion times and i will 4eva say it over & over cause u r first off ur blog is increasingly and forever stunning honestly (i love) it’s just too damned beaut for it’s own good (so i visit it a lot)(hehe) and i just love all the effort and the unique themes and the pleasing aesthetic (and i will forever love the little emoji u have by wonderstruck)(they make me happi!!) and ur creations r OH MY heckity heckheckheck how do u hecking do it? (always makes me emit a woahhh) (sooo good) also ur always doing soemthing always interacting (how?)(it’s amazing)(i cry) and then UR personalityyyyy is honestly the bestt (i love) ur like the embodiment of soft & cozy but also with bubbly & giggly and probably the right amount of (i’m trying to think of the word - i wanna say inappropriate but not necessarily dirty just like almost morbid and cruel but not AH I CANNOT EXPLAIN)(u have the right amount of the humor i cannot explain okai ty) and basically it is my eternal dream to one day go on a road trip to a far away place and cross a bridge (u have to hold my hand cause i hate heights)(*disclaimer i would love them on a broom hence the quidditch love cause i trust that i can control it*) but we would cross this swing bridge into the fairie relm where we can live as pixies in an apartment that is super aesthetic and we make rly nice breakfast food and sometimes i shall drag u to edgy pixie punk rock concerts cause i bet u they exist and we dance away in the mosh pit Playlist for natalie:

(largely consisting of songs i love to dance around the house to)-don’t stop –> (fleetwood mac) -knee socks –> (arctic monkeys) -i guess that’s why they call it the blues –> (elton john) -rock N roll suicide –> (david bowie) -mAria –> (green day) -give me a Try –> (the wombats) -i’d do Anything for love –> (meatloaf) -mr. brightside –> (the kiLlers) -bohemIen rhapsody (duh) –> (queen) -naive –> (the kooks) E moves in her own way -dance floor anthem (i don’t wanna be in love) –> (good charlotte) -hold the line –> (toto) extras: friday i’m in love (the cure) // 1985 (bowling for soup) // year 3000 (busted) // come on eileen // (along with many other 80s songs cause i love them a lot & should make a playlist for u someday of them all)

no more please