#like I understand WHY the girlboss thing became a movement

[floridianfireflyfaith]

Can we just take a moment to appreciate that in 2024, here in the age of female leads who almost HAVE to be girlboss/girl power/"you hit me, I'll hit back tenfold", we got a heroine like Roz???

Relentlessly kind, refusing to harm, even taking up the mantle of motherhood - which in this day and age so many dismiss as some "lesser" calling. But she is still FAR from weak. It just happens to be that her strength shows itself in kindness and selflessness, not revenge or an epic battle where she takes down the big, bad baddie on her own. "Oh but that's just her programming." Perhaps. But of all the programming she does override in the story, she doesn't let go of that. Even though she's told over and over again that it's not the way the world works.

And yet she's not a flawless hero of the people either! She says things she shouldn't; sometimes she says the WORST thing at the WORST time; her overprotectiveness of Brightbill caused problems down the line; and as much help as she gave, she still needed it herself. And though it was accidental, she still caused murder. That too.

But bruh......are you really going to look at this shot and tell me this is a weak character?

In the state of the world today, it's just a fresh breath of air to show a heroine that gives so much of herself to help others, even those who didn't give her a reason to. That there truly is strength in even the smallest act of kindness.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Thanks for the tag @vaguely-functional-directions !

✨10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags✨

1. Isadora Quagmire (asoue)

My funky little sapphic poet! While not much of a personality in canon sadly, the fandom has built her as a sassy, clever and just wonderful girl and I just love her. I also love her name. Literally Isadora is the name that's on top for me to name my future daughter.

2. Brittany S. Pierce (Glee)

Brittany gets me. I get Brittany. Listen... when I was in middle school, I was in a... not very nice class. People basically did not let me be myself, because every time I was myself I was "weird", "annoying", etc. So, as a way to provoke them, I acted even more weird and annoying than I actually was and as a defense mechanism I tried to confuse them - cause if I confused them, they would leave me alone and I would "win" the argument.

I really see that with Brittany. But in her case, it has gone so far that she actually believes it herself, and it makes her not succeed in school because she has believed she's dumb (when she's actually super smart). When people call Brittany annoying and strange, I just feel like they don't understand her like I do.

Love ya, Britt-Britt <3

3. Francesca Caviglia (Violetta)

Where do I begin? Francesca has been my very favorite from the beginning. Not only is she super talented, I also always loved how much she cares about her friends. She's also... me. Like not only with things she says but also how she acts. Just see how she acts when her friend sings? Her facial expressions? Her little hand movements? Random noises? ME.

I have SO many Fran pictures but why not take my profile pic, *puts hair behind ear in bisexual*

4. Jessi Glaser (Big Mouth)

I talk about Big Mouth once a year, and that's when a new season drops. People have been critical of this show, calling it gross and inappropriate... but you know that, it's super funny and it came out right when I needed it. So shut up.

Jessi is... honestly my favorite out of the kids. She always has something to fight or struggle with, and that's when you get so happy for her when she pushes through it, and becomes stronger. She also has the best hormone monstress.

5. Max Mayfield (Stranger Things)

At first, I didn't think much of her, but after watching season 3 she instantly became my fave. And in season 4?? AUGH!!! <333

Max is honestly. Iconic. I love her so mcfucking much I can't even express it. I cried in the last ep of s4 when I, for a moment, actually thought she was lost. She made s4, and she made s3. She's a queen, she's a girlboss, she's a precious angel and a badass. She's everything.

6. Yamila "Yam" Sanchez (Soy Luna)

When first watching the show, I totally expected Ámbar to be my favorite (and I LOVE Ámbar and writing and obsessing over her) but NO ONE TOLD ME about Yam. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS AMAZING GIRL?!??!

Literally she... she acts like I would in so many situations. She's so chaotic, but at the same time so talented and an amazing friend. While she's the ultimate chaos girl, she's also really down to earth. When she isn't a tornado goofball, she's the one to talk some sense into her friends.

Also 70% of her tag is just my own posts and I lowkey look forward to the day someone goes through her tag (which barely happens cause no one looks through Jim or Yam's tags) and just likes them all

Also I had very little pictures of Yam alone (a lot of them are with Jim), so I picked this one simply because it brings no context at all and also it's chaotic. Why is she crawling? I dunno

7. Riley Mattews (GMW)

SUNSHINE BABY GIRL. I love her and Maya equally, but I picked her simply because people have an easier time hating on her for just existing. I don't like that. Stop that. I also relate to her a lot (we've established at this point that I personally relate to the "weird girls").

With that said, without Maya she's not herself. She needs Maya. They're soulmates, they complete each other. I am also happy they were "endgame" and definitely dated without realizing <3 I mean, in one of the last episodes Riley LITERALLY GOES "Maya, what if we don't care about our boyfriends as much as we care about each other?"

8. Ashlyn Caswell (HSMTMTS)

ASHLYN IS MY CANON JEWISH BISEXUAL AND I LOVE HER SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has been my favorite since the beginning. A smiling little goofball that deserves the world. She has so much love to give, she cares so much about everyone she knows. Also, I really felt she wasn't straight from the beginning. Shipped her with Nini in s1 due to their piano duet and shipped her with Gina in s2. Her journey in s3?? OH MY GOSH sadaffg

I CAN PERSONALLY RELATE TO BEING HUGGED BY A GIRL AT CAMP AND HAVING AN "OH" MOMENT. LITERALLY THAT HAPPENED TO ME. NOT JOKING.

9. Beverly Marsh (IT)

Beverly... gosh, she's special to me. Not only was she the most interesting character to follow in the 2017 movie, she was also the most interesting character to follow in the book. When I read the book, I overanalysed everything Beverly-related. Like, to the point where I could recite what the friends she had outside of the losers club were named (I don't remember anymore except for Kay McCall but that was when Bev was an adult, there were so many random characters in that book that were just mentioned as "oh, this was their friend when they were 7 also they borrowed them this book")

Protect Beverly at all costs.

10. Casey Gardner (Atypical)

Wow me?? Ok, no, I don't like running tracks like she does (I have asthma so running is the worst for me) but like... her energy? I feel like the way she talks and gestures... me!!

I don't know what else to say hahaha but I love her

Alrighty! So, I now need to tag people too. No pressure on doing this, though! Tagging:

@ven10 @broke-on-books @countessofravenclaw @moonlark-sparkles @sapphic-squid @funkyliloboist and honestly anyone else who wants to! <3

[lincnok]

Disney Princesses are all excellent role models

Nowadays, we see something called the feminist movement, something that was born to empower young women, and equalize society, a noble cause; now it is nothing like it’s original goal, and some even bash more feminine, or soft spoken women in the fictional media. I have seen many ‘feminists’ go off about how earlier princesses, like Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora and Ariel are all ‘weak’ and are ‘unfit to be role models for young girls’ whilst princesses like Moana and Elsa are praised for their ‘empowerment’. In all of these events, both on the opposite sides of the spectrum, there is barely ever any space for the girls in the middle like Tiana and Pocahontas. Whilst these characters aren’t recognized, some get bashed, and others praised above the rest, which is unfair as they are all excellent role models and here’s why.

(I’m gonna start from the first movie cuz I find it easier that way)

Snow White:

This princess is overlooked and consistently talked about as weaker and ‘less than’, when in actuality, she is as strong a role model as any other. Even in the face of death, she is kind-hearted and care-free, choosing to clean the dwarves home, and never saying one bad word about her step mother. Yes, she did open the door to a stranger and eat the apple, but she was fourteen, and in the original story, had been living with the dwarves for two years, essentially leaving her ‘sheltered’. She lived in the middle of the forest with a group of tiny men for God’s sake, do you really think she would understand the no strangers rule? And even then, eating the apple was something she did out of politeness, rather than stupidity. It was her innocence taken advantage of that got her poisoned, not stupidity or weakness. She is a positive role model because she was able to stay level-headed, polite and innocent, even under severe pressure.

Cinderella:

Now in her story, she is claimed as weak because, in some people’s eyes, she did nothing in the face of abuse. Is that true? Absolutely! But not because she is weak, but because she is strong enough to know when not to fight. She cried and had bad days, but still chose to do the things she was asked in order for things to remain peaceful. She worked hard to achieve what she wanted. When she was told she had to do all her chores and more in one afternoon to go to the ball, she did, and made a dress on top of that. She would’ve gone to the ball anyway if it were not for her step-family’s spite, all she need the fairy godmother for was a change of clothes and a ride. She was honest and hard working, unbending even in the face of abuse and pain, something all girls should aspire to be.

Aurora:

This is the one that gets the worst media, as she had little lines and screen time and ‘slept through her whole movie’. But in all honesty, the girl lived in the forest with three fighting fairies, who did little to help with education and knowledge of the outside world, keeping her as sheltered as possible. She was happy and loveable, with a definite affinity for singing, something she did on the regular. Of course, we don’t get to see much of her personality there, but I’d like to say that she was something of a carefree spirit, happy and optimistic, trying her best to keep others happy too. She was a little boy crazy, yes, but she was fifteen, and Prince Phillip was the first man she had ever seen, so you can’t really blame her for her fascination with him. She had no idea about a curse, and if something possesses you, you don’t really have anything to do about it, and you can’t do anything if you’re asleep for one hundred years. But she kept herself happy and cheerful even in loneliness, as the prince was not only the first male she’d seen but also the first human she’d seen since she was a baby, and yet she was obviously happy, jubilant enough to sing for hours in the forest, despite being alone for most of her life. Happiness can be found in the even in the loneliest of places and that is what Aurora teaches us.

Ariel:

This girl gets bad media too because of her choice at the end of the film. Through out the film, she is presented as a curious soul, wanting to find out how the humans lived, collecting the trinkets and items from the shipwrecks said humans left. She did go too far in her curiosity, though, signing her voice away for legs. But she was eager to learn, and that is something all girls should aim to be. As I said before, she is bashed for making the decision to stay on land and get married, rather than going back home, but that is a very common thing to do, more common that people think. If a girl falls in love with someone in another country, she has every right to stay there with him, and thus Ariel shouldn’t be penalized for something so common and accepted. Her family didn’t condemn her, they came to her wedding and were happy for her. She chose her happiness over cultural norms, and that kind of confidence is something we should all aim to have.

Belle:

Belle isn’t bashed so much as diagnosed, and I feel like that isn’t right to do. I’m not saying that it isn’t true, but there is so much that is ignored about Belle’s story that should be mentioned. Like the fact that she is educated. This is something that was very rare in the time period in which she lived, and she definitely needs to get more recognition because of that. In an essay I read, it was said that she would be the equivalent of the village’s ‘IT guy’ and that is exactly right. When she rejected Gaston, she never said a bad word about him, nor wrote off his affections or was rude, she simply declined, which is something that should be respected and applauded rather than bought down. There is also the fact that she is quite feminine in appearance and picks a decidedly feminine dress despite being raised by a single father, which is a detail I rather liked, as it lets Belle be on both sides of the spectrum, being able to expertly communicate with her male friends, whilst also being ‘girly’ with her female friends, and thus makes her a well rounded character. Her falling in love with the Beast, may have well been a psychological disorder, but it wasn’t like her feelings weren’t reciprocated. And she wasn’t kidnapped. Kidnapping is abduction, meaning that you are taken or held somewhere against your will. She chose to stay. And it wasn’t like she was held in particularly bad conditions, the only condition was that she couldn’t leave. Yes, she was provided an ultimatum, but she chose to stay. And then made the best out of it. The falling in love was a side effect. Belle was educated, but not arrogant, kind and humble, polite and feminine, and those traits are wonderful, and make the princess an incredible role model.

Jasmine:

Jasmine is one of those princesses who is forgotten about, but I’ve come here today to let you know she is an absolute girlboss. In her movie, she was the crown princess, and her family ‘needed’ her to marry so that they could have a king and her dad could retire. But she wanted to marry for love instead of just political power and wealth and thus turned all her suitors away. This meant that she never gained any of the rights she would get if married and had to live in the palace for the rest of her life until she found ‘the one’. And if you pay attention, you’ll realize that Jasmine  was the ruling monarch because Jasmine was royalty and Aladdin was not. She was also only 17 when she became queen, which makes her queendom so much more impactful. Her little outing one the outside gave her that little bit of compassion that she would’ve needed to become a great sultan. She may not have been a warrior, but in terms of political prowess, she was one of the most powerful. She is the ruler that girls should want to look up to and follow, a role model to her community as well as her audience.

Pocahontas:

I don’t really know much about her, but I know enough to say this. In the film (not real life), she made the opposite decision to Ariel, and chose to stay with her tribe rather than stay the man she loved. That was a brave decision, and the fact that she made it in the face of pressure is to be admired.

Mulan:

Ah, yes. The great feminist icon. But the one who gets condemned for having a prince. Yes, she was a great warrior, and yes, she was professional, but that all doesn’t mean she’s not allowed to find love. She can be all those things and still be a mother and a wife, they don’t have to go separately. And, you know what? The fact that she had a prince just made it all the more inspiring, because thats what the #MeToo movement should be about, embracing all kinds of women, and not separating the roles of mother and wife from the roles of leader and independent. Having a husband doesn’t make you any less, and that, among other lessons, is what Mulan teaches us.

Tiana:

Tia should get about as much hype as Mulan, but in reality, she doesn’t. She is very much forgotten about other than the fact that she is black. Her story isn’t about ‘conquering racism’ or anything attributed mainly to ‘black media’, but instead is about a working girl, doing just that, working. She worked hard to achieve her goal, and not once did she even try to take a short cut. She found love along the way, made some friends and lost some friends, impacted some friends for the better, and achieved her goal, no short cuts and a whole lotta jazz music. That’s what the Princess and the Frog is about, working hard to achieve your dreams. That sentiment is something everyone should learn, and the fact that that’s a black girl up there being that role model for us just makes it even better.

Rapunzel:

Rapunzel, the queen of self-isolation. But despite that, she was always happy and optimistic, which is something us cynics could stand to learn about. She was curious, but had some common sense. She was probably the most organized out of all the Disney princesses, as she had a set schedule for everything. She was probably the most artistically gifted as well. She definitely not stupid, but instead innocent and gullible, but capable of defending herself and running a good negotiation. She could’ve been a lawyer! She was a perfect example of someone talented using their talents to better the people and that’s what makes her someone to look up to.

Merida:

Another warrior, except this time, set in Scotland without a prince. You guys know the story. Bought up in a home where all she was expected to do was get married and have kids, Merida yearned to be outside with her bow and arrow, but instead was told no. Eventually, tired of the pressure, she goes to a witch to get a charm to make make her mother more lenient. Instead, the charm turns her mother into a bear, and turns her curious little brothers into bear cubs. The race is on for Merida to get the cure before it is too late. She successfully cures her mother and brothers, fights the evil Mor’du and comes to appreciate her mother more. This little family story shows a headstrong girl getting love and affection from her family without condescending, and the best interests at heart. She sets of to fix her own mistake, something still not really shown in media. She teaches girls to love their family even when you don’t agree, stand up for themselves, take responsibility for their actions and try their best to fix their mistakes.

Elsa: 

I’ll start with her because this list is oldest to youngest. Another Princess without a Prince, she’s actually a queen for most of the movie, and isn’t even the mainest main character. She still teaches girls something. With her headstrong character, she was morally sound despite dealing with an immense feeling of self-hatred and fear. Only when she really broke did she ever intend to hurt anyone. She shows you how to be yourself in spite of the of the danger. She is brave and strong, with powerful abilities and love for her sister.

Anna:

Anna isn’t in the spotlight as much as Elsa was, seemingly naïve and gullible. Except, you have to realize that Anna is that she was left literally alone for God knows how long. Hans was the first person she’d met and liked who didn’t leave her alone. She liked him a lot, and it is believable that she would’ve said yes to Hans when he proposed. But still, as the story went on she became more mature, but didn’t lose her childlike spirit. She teaches us to go to the ends of the Earth for the ones you love, but to not be a push-over. To stand firm in the face of danger, but to not be reckless. Anna teaches us what true love is.

Moana:

“If I go there’s just no telling how far I go!” Moana is an adventurous soul, unafraid of nonconformity, and in love with the great unknown. She falls in love with the sea, and, even though she is prohibited, follows her dreams. She is the picture of determination and willingness to go out into the unknown, and she isn’t afraid to be herself, even amidst hardships, rejection and danger. Such a sprit is something to admire and aspire to have.

Every last one of the girls on my list is a role model and I hope you now understand why. So don’t look down on a little girl when she says her favorite princess is Cinderella. Don’t cuss out the little black girl who says she wants to be Snow White for Halloween even when there’s a princess that looks like you or vice versa. Don’t roll your eyes at the girl who says she likes Anna better than Elsa, or she wants to be a queen like Jasmine. Don’t hate on these characters because of circumstances they couldn’t control or because they’re not like you, because every single one of them is and can be a role model to a little girl, they all just cater to different types. Yes, the Disney princess line isn’t all representing, and many of these tales are taken out of context or made more light hearted, but no matter what the story is, these girls are their own characters and we should respect that, and everyones opinions on them.

Aight, I’m out.

[werevulvi]

I kinda just wanted to make a rant, to lay out why I feel so iffy about trans women and hopefully get a better understanding of my own feelings and what the fuck is brewing under that surface. There has to be a reason. This post is analytical drivel, not a debate, but by all means, feel free to respond or otherwise talk to me about this. Let's take it from the beginning and then go from there.

Part 1 Detransition:

So, I began detransitioning roughly 2 years ago. That's where my feelings about the trans community as a whole began to shift, and with that my feelings about trans women. At that time, I was still active in a truscum group and came out as detrans there, after having been known and looked up to as a trans man there for over a year. At first I was accepted, but when I started having doubts about wanting to get rid of my beard, and felt like I wanted to embrace my body hair and deep voice... people there started acting like shit towards me. They told me that my biological sex still being female did not matter, that I was essentially a man and had to detrans medically to be considered a woman again. That hurt badly.

Shortly after that, I was also told that because I was medically transitioned, trans women were "more female" than me. That was like the last drop that made the goblet pour over. Fuming, I started saying that I'm more of a woman than trans women can ever be, even if I keep a full beard, because they'll never be truly biologically female, no matter how much surgery they got. I was hurting by their cruel words, so I stuck it where it would hurt them the same. (I’ve always an “eye for an eye” sorta person.) That's when people started telling me that I hate trans women, but I felt like that was a misunderstanding. That I was just acting out, out of sadness, grief, anger, panic, and having my gender denied for the sake of validating trans women's genders.

But were they right?

Part 2 Gender critical thought:

Over time, I got exceedingly gender critical and fell into radblr. I also read/watched content that "exposed" transgenderism as a scam, most of which was articles and youtube videos from conservative right wing people, and Christians. I had joined an fb group for detransitioners, and the creator, a "born again" Christian detrans man, happily shared all the many sources he had on how transgender was all a scam from the start of its movement. I felt somewhat sick consuming those links, but probably equally intrigued. But at the same time, I kept a foot in the trans community, starving for attention, even though I was never good enough for them anymore, unless I lied and said I'm not a woman. What a sick twist of fate, I felt.

Part 3a Sexuality, from a lesbian view:

Sometime around that, I struggled with my sexuality and after a lot on inner search, I came to the conclusion I was a lesbian. I felt as though I was only attracted to the same sex as myself, including trans men, but felt nothing worth praising towards males, including trans women. That led to yet another rabbit hole that I tumbled down into. I became convinced that majority of trans women were lesbophobic predators, and I had some shit luck on dating apps. Most people who approached me there were gnc males; transvestites and trans women. I almost went on a date with a good-looking trans woman whom I had mistaken for female, because I felt guilty for having lost attraction to her the moment she told me she's trans and post-op. Luckily she canceled our date for unrelated reasons. I felt like because she was attractive to me before I knew she's trans, but felt completely uninterested in her after the fact, I couldn't possibly be attracted to trans women.

Part 3b Sexuality, from a bisexual view:

That, of course, is not necessarily a bad thing. But I kept asking myself why. Especially since I realised my error in my sexuality calculations, and upon correction discovered I'm actually bisexual after all. I still find women and transitioned females attractive, and in addition to that also men in general, and some vaguely transitioned males. Except from trans women. That odd little inconvenience stood out as a sore thumb which I couldn't stop scratching. Why? I kept asking myself. Why not trans women?

My question dug deeper than just to attraction. I don't think I feel iffy about trans women because I'm not attracted to them. I think it's the other way around.

I never had to convince myself to be attracted to trans men. I discovered early on in my own transition that some other trans men were really hot. That was it. I later on dated a trans man whom I was head over heals in love with. That confirmed it. I've been questioning my attraction to standard men and women far more than I ever questioned my attraction to trans men. It was that obvious, that clear. However, when it comes to trans women I was always the complete opposite. That no matter how I twisted and turned it, I only ever felt revulsion at the thought of being sexual or romantic with a trans woman. No matter how well or badly they passed, no matter how aesthetically pleasing or how charming their personalities.

I wanna clarify that I'm not at all forcing myself to be into trans women. I'm just trying to understand why, so that I'll no longer feel bad about my lack of attraction to them. Because I cannot accept things which I do not understand.

Part 3c Sexuality, digging for answers:

At first I thought, maybe I'm just not all that attracted to femininity. It's not like I typically get super into hyper-feminine natal women either, and fake tits and faces with a ton of plastic surgery has always made me queezy. No, I seem to have a strong preference for masculinity in partners, regardless if they're butches, other masc bi women, trans men or kinda standard masc natal men. So then it just kinda makes sense that trans women, whom are often hyper-feminine, just don't fit that image. Except... that one trans woman I almost went on a date with... she looked like a butch. I mistook her for a natal woman partly because she had short hair, no makeup and wore what looked like men's clothing, but I could see she had hips and tits, and her face looked naturally female. But I still wasn't into her, because she's trans.

Then I thought... okay, that one checks out, but maybe I'm just creeped out neo-vaginas? Yeah, that must be it! I'm almost equally creeped out by neo-penises too, but most trans men don't get bottom surgery anyway, so it hasn't been much on my mind. But then I thought: okay, but what about trans women who choose to not get bottom surgery then? I am attracted to dick. Nope, still uneasy at that thought. I started comparing men who are just very feminine, to trans women, and noticed yeah I don't actually feel half as iffy about men who are just feminine. A man in a dress and makeup can actually be very hot, to me. And I've always preferred long hair on men. But I prefer them still looking clearly male underneath that, although I don't mind a few androgynous features here and there. But I’m only into it if they don’t act like their affinity for femininity makes them women or non-binary, or if they’re feminine in a way that mocks or sexualises womanhood. So I’m not into tacky transvestites in over-sexualised lingerie. At least try to be tactful and elegant, please. So, it’s not male femininity per se that puts me off. If there’s any femininity I’m actually into, it’s male femininity. Because gender non-conformity is attractive to me. And I love the idea of being a strong female protector and girlboss of a gentle, delicate, feminine man. At least I like fantasising about that. (But enough about my daydreams.)

Part 4a Womanhood, biology and identity:

Somewhere after having gotten that far in my digging, I started getting close to finding my sore spot: trans women's view on womanhood.

As for myself, my own view of womanhood is completely detached from femininity. I'm just like... I can even have a full beard and bass voice, a flat and hairy chest, and still be a woman. Because I'm simply bio female. Trans women tend to very often think that they need to "pass" and with that comes a certain look: high voice, no facial hair, no body hair, big breasts, curvy hips, etc. All of which are features that I'm dysphoric about having on my own body, but admire in other natal women. But on trans women, it's like I feel uncomfortable about those kinda features on them. Like to me being a woman is just dealing with having developed that way, or not dealing with having developed that way. Where as for them it seems to be actually striving for developing that way, and I guess that causes my brain to short circuit. Cannot comprehend.

Part 4b Womanhood, fragility and validation:

My womanhood is kinda fragile. I admit that. I'm quite insecure as a woman, because of my transition and masculinity. I feel like most of my womanhood has been lost, which although I'm fine with, I still grieve. I grieve it because I was a bit of an idiot when I first transitioned and had not yet processed my trauma - not because I regret looking like a man. It's complicated, but basically... I feel as though my womanhood is hanging by a thread, which is my genitals, reproductive system and chromosomes; all of which are either mostly hidden or always invisible.

I'm often met with disbelief and disagreement. People either saying "You're not a woman because you can't possibly be female. You look too male." or "You're not a woman because you medically transitioned. You having a uterus is not enough to make you a woman." and it gets to me. And then there are trans women... some of whom do not even need to put on a wig to be instantly validated as women by just identifying as such. Others thinking that because I look like a man, they refuse to think of me as a woman. And that... pisses me off.

There have been a few trans women who in some utterly failed attempt at being supportive of me have said I'm like a nonbinary person who is half male and half female. That's not a lot better, but thanks for trying... I guess.

Part 4c Womanhood, dysphoria and misogyny:

I think that might be what gets to me about trans women. All of it. This entire list of things. That some of them are lesbophobic predators and have absurd claims of what being female is, that others mock womanhood, and yet others view themselves as somehow more female than I am. The genital factor and the slight creepiness of plastic surgery. Their view of womanhood as an identity and my view of it as a biological sex. I keep ending up in fights with trans women about these sorta things. I can't keep a lid on my frustrations no matter how hard I try to just see them as people with dysphoria and opinions that are different from mine. I cannot find any fucking solidarity between myself, as a dysphoric natal woman, and trans women. I feel like they're making mockery of my sex, my dysphoria and my struggles with misogyny, as well as making me feel like shit about something that I love about my body: my transition. I have no common grounds with them, and whenever they try to find solidarity in stuff like misogyny, I feel like they don't even know what the fuck they're talking about. I have a huge bone to pick with them, on multiple levels, and I don't even know where to start or where it ends.

Part 4d Womanhood, jealousy:

But a lot of it comes from jealousy. And I think it's mutual. I'm jealous of their ability to access female only spaces despite being male, which I cannot access despite being female. I'm jealous of their ability to be accepted as women. And on the other side, I think they're jealous of my reproductive ability, and my female socialisation, which I'm not like super hyped about myself, although I do love my pussy (she gives me great orgasms.) I'm jealous of their ability to claim womanhood without even trying to pass as female, because people are quicker to accept the woman-gender-identity than the woman-bio-sex. But likewise, ironically, I sense that they're jealous of that I can claim the "woman lane" despite looking convincingly male, because I'll always be biologically female, no matter how insible my sex is.

They cannot see me as a woman, because of my transition, without looking at themselves as men, no matter how far they transition. And I cannot see them as women, no matter how far they transition, without labeling myself as a man, because of my own transition. I think that about nails it.

Part 5 Conclusions:

I don't think it's true hatred, but rather insecurities both from myself and from them. Because we cannot both exist as women under the same ideology. One of us has to be considered a man, and neither of us is willing to fold on that. Ultimately... I am a threat to their womanhood, as much as they are a threat to my womanhood. And that tension is so thick... not even a knife could cut it. I guess the sad thing is though, that I think that tension is unnecessary. I am so unlike trans women that we could potentially bond based on how different we are. Because there is a lot of similarity in those differences, if you really think about it.

But no, I do not wish them harm in any way. Despite the vast array of insults I sometimes hurl their way. That is really just in response to them insulting me. I do not think they're doing anything wrong by transitioning, or even necessarily by identifying as women. I think, if they had just been more like "I can see you as a woman despite having transitioned, because deep down you like being female and having a pussy... kinda like I'm a woman because I wanna have a pussy, despite having been born male" I would have been much quicker to embrace them. Because that, I could get behind; but they can't.

So, there is no solidarity. It remains an endless fight. But I feel like it's not just on my part. I have tried. I do try. But they're not willing to meet me halfway, and that makes me go to attack in self-defense, which makes then go to attack in self-defense.