#like I signed up for a hysterical comedy about vampires and the one braincell who lives in the house

[paniqueetpeur]

So I binge-watched What We Do In the Shadows in four days and I have many thoughts.

Nandor. He. Him. The boy. I adore this man. Season three was real rough on him, ever since episode four when he really started to consider what his existence entails. After Colin Robinson explained to him the concept of the Big Bang, Nandor suddenly had to realize how small and insignificant his life is. 700 years and he had this all dumped on him in one night. He then spends the rest of the season trying to find something to make him happy, to give him purpose. He joins a cult thinking becoming human might bring him joy. It kinda does, but Guillermo pulls him out of that (partially because it’s a friggin cult, mostly because he is hella gay). He tries to take a 100 year nap thinking that maybe he can escape his feelings. Guillermo interrupts that plan about four times. Nandor tries to go on a solo trip around the world thinking that may be it. Guillermo interrupts once more, physically fighting him until Nandor the Relentless relents for the third time in three episodes and decides to take a midnight train with him to start their journey. Guillermo has been consistently looking after Nandor, checking up in him, keeping him from doing terribly stupid shit, and even when he was lonely- Guillermo stopped him from ever actually being alone. Then the end of season three happened where Laszlo locked Guillermo in a coffin heading to England. While I am terribly excited for Nadja and Guillermo’s future interactions, this also means that he was never able to make it to Nandor. Nandor was left at the train station, with Guillermo’s luggage to board the train alone. Alone. The one person who had been there with him, stopping him from being alone, has now left him. This has to be a devastating betrayal to Nandor and honestly I was not ready for this last episode.

Nadja. The lady. The queen. Absolute icon that she is. She has achieved a position of high power where she can be respected and looked up to as opposed to the very poor life she grew up in. Unfortunately this place is located in England which her beloved Laszlo loathes. She will only take this position if he goes with her. He convinces her that he will, but instead shoves Guillermo in his place for her to find when they are in England. This will be the first time in hundreds of years where they will be apart from each other. She will be going through a very similar situation to what Nandor will be going through. The one person who has been there for them for years (in this case hundreds) has seemingly left and betrayed them. However, she has Guillermo and I am thrilled to see how this will play out. Guillermo and Nadja have lived with each other for 12 years, but they have never been close. Nadja mostly pushes people away who aren’t Laszlo or the doll of her younger self- actually scratch that she pushed her away one episode too. Guillermo is someone who can get shit done like no one else, but she had never been kind or respectful to him. Now they have a mutual bond over being bamboozled by Laszlo which will hopefully introduce an actual bond between the two. The mutual grief from being away from their loved ones will forge a truly fascinating and fun friendship.

Guillermo. Holy shit this entire show is just about his transformation to him becoming a BAMF. I think it’s incredibly hard not to adore this man. He clearly cares about these vampire clowns he is surrounded with, simultaneously he batshit insane. Like he has murdered 40-something vampires, countless more humans, casually partakes in criminal activity, all while being disrespected and under appreciated by the people he PAYS to live with. So I know plenty of people have talked about that fight scene is s3ep10 but like…. I cannot resist. After Nandor tries to leave him twice, Guillermo physically fights him to prevent those two times from becoming a third. Oddly enough it works! He is all set to join Nandor on the train that will officially be the start of months just traveling together. Nandor has even brought his luggage to the train station (containing the dolls of himself and Nandor he has become highly attached to) while Guillermo says what he thinks is his final goodbye to Laszlo and Nadja. Then he is shoved into a coffin and shipped off to England. Finally he is together with Nandor like he wanted, and it is taken from him. The only version of them that are together, are the dolls that Nandor leaves behind. I dunno man just hit me with the lonely vibes y’know.

Laszlo. I have such a soft spot for him because he really just tries his hardest to make the people around him happy. He is an immensely supportive husband, encouraging Nadja to sing despite her questionable singing capability, carving a beautiful topiary of her (no not the vulva one but that too), the only reason why he doesn’t like Gregor is because every time he is reincarnated is because he makes Nadja sad. He finds out that Colin Robinson is going to die on his 100th birthday and spends the last weeks of his life trying to make the best possible experience for him. Then he tries to throw the best possible birthday party for him too. When he dons the persona of Jackie Daytona, he becomes incredibly invested in the girl’s volleyball team making sure they go to finals no matter what, and generally being kind to everyone else in the town before he has to flee. Hell, when he has to take money from Sean, he is so guilt-ridden that he decides that he has to pay him back completely, actually giving him much more money than he owed him to get Sean out of debt. This plan was entirely concocted by Guillermo because he is the only one who possesses braincells, however the intent is what I’m focusing on. He is such a beautiful man. Then when Colin is reborn into a horrifying baby, he decides that he must care for it because who else will be able to defend him. Truly he is helpless. This man has the biggest heart and I hope to see more of it throughout his adventures in being a highly dysfunctional father in season four. That being said, he still left his wife which he cares for deeply and I assume he is weighed with guilt for that as well. Season four seems like it will be a conflict of the heart for him, his love for Nadja and his love for Colin fighting throughout. I mean the season will still be wild but, emotions y’know. I’m very excited to see where it will go from here.

Collin Robinson. Literally what the fuck. Oatmeal man is some sort of horrifying Phoenix. Terrifying.