#like I seriously do not think I would have ever transitioned had I not played a3!

[catboirights]

you af

https://www.tumblr.com/legthief/709717995122982912/i-have-a-disease-of-sorts?source=share

Quite literally me before I realised it was gender envy happening

[shellbilee]

Hey There Darlin' - Chapter 7

A Glen Powell RPF series

Can't believe how much this is growing. I'm so thankful for every like, reblog and comment. Sending all of my apologies for the delay, I've forgotten how hard smut is to write and I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I wrote and re-wrote this trying to make it perfect. Hope you enjoy! x

Thankyou to @zacksnydered for the gifs!

Warning - Smut heavy in this chapter.

Billie

“105! Dani, you did it girl!” Billie beams, grinning from ear to ear as she helps her patient re-rack the loaded barbell on the squat rack.

Dani’s grin matches Billie’s when she turns around and jumps into Billie to hug her, the two having a celebratory embrace at the new squat personal best. Dani was a sophomore who had torn a major ligament in her knee playing high-level basketball, and after close to six months of rehabilitation, she was back to squatting even more than she was pre-injury.

“I told you you could do it, I’m so proud of you!” Billie announces as they part, holding Dani’s shoulders and grinning back at her teenage patient.

Dani’s smile takes up her whole face. “Thank you so much Billie, honestly I couldn’t have done it without you”

Billie scoffs, “Don’t be silly. This was all you!”

“What’s 105 in pounds?” Dani asks, picking up her water bottle and looking back at Billie, “Also, when are you ever going to stop using kilograms?”

“About 240 pounds” Billie replies with a laugh, “And never. I can’t help it that my brain thinks in kilos. That’s what I learnt in school way back when, and that’s what I’m sticking with”.

Dani laughs, sitting down on the floor and stretching out her legs, Billie perching on a nearby plyometric box and looking down at Dani.

“So, same time next week?” Billie asks, pulling out her iPad and checking her patient diary for next week, “Two-thirty?”

Dani nods and Billie inputs the appointment, running through the plan for their next session before saying goodbye.

“Well done again Dani” Billie says, squeezing her shoulder as they walk out of the gym area, “We’re going to have you back on the court in no time at this rate”.

Dani grins and Billie nods, waving goodbye as Dani goes to get her things and Billie retreats into her office.

Almost immediately she picks up her phone, her stomach flip-flopping when she sees a text message notification from Glen. They’d transitioned to text messaging, having exchanged phone numbers on Sunday night, and despite it being two whole days, Billie wasn’t sure she would ever get used to seeing Glen Powell’s name pop up on her phone.

There’d been no shortage of interaction between the two of them, Glen and Billie texting back and forth - talking, flirting and sharing pictures of their day. Of Brisket and Nugget, of Billie out on a run, of Glen at the gym, a playful selfie here and there. Their texts had become increasingly flirtatious, and Billie was seriously struggling to keep her thoughts in check. 

She was trying to focus on work - on Chelsea's niggling shoulder, on Derek’s hip that was catching every time he reached top speed on his sprint, on the brace that she had to order for Jimmy’s knee, but thoughts of Glen somehow kept inching their way in.

Billie felt like she was back in high school and with a teenage crush. Except this time, she was a grown up, and her teenage crush was a Hollywood celebrity.

She swipes across the screen to open his text message, nearly audibly groaning at what appears on her screen next. Glen was at a photo shoot today, and he’d sent her a little sneak preview. 

How was it physically possible for anyone to be that good looking? 

Honestly. 

The man was literally sex on fucking legs.

The photo shows Glen dressed in a light blue shirt and jacket leaning against a door frame, his shirt unbuttoned and leaving very little of his chest to the imagination. Billie isn’t sure where to look first, torn between the delicious planes of his chest covered in a dark mess of hair, or his intense, intimate expression that makes Billie need to catch her breath. His jaw is covered in more stubble than when she’d seen him last, and suddenly she can’t help but wonder how it would feel when she kissed him.

Her fingers hover over the screen, her brain at a momentary loss of what to say.

How am I supposed to focus on the rest of work when you're looking like that 😍

Typing bubbles appear almost instantly, and Billie realises she’s smiling.

You’re not the only one having trouble focusing. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about seeing you tonight

Billie’s smile grows then, her whole body instantly flushing with warmth. She types back, knowing her thoughts have undoubtedly been very similar to his.

Surely that ‘lost in thought’ look is what works for photo shoots though?

She can almost hear Glen chuckling as he reads her words.

Except that they kept asking me why I seemed so distracted all through the shoot

Billie feels herself grin stupidly.

And what did you tell them?

I said that I had something I was looking forward to doing tonight 

Billie nearly drops her phone at that, her breathing instantly ragged. Fuck.

And what might that be?

Seeing you, of course

Billie lets out a laugh then, loving their flirty back and forth. 

She's already decided she’s going to sleep with Glen tonight. Not only because she was dying to, but because she knew there was no way she was going to be able to stop herself. How she'd done so on Sunday at his house she had no idea - she could still feel his lips on hers if she thought about it, tender and heated as he held her on the kitchen bench.

Billie grins and bites her bottom lip, fingers tapping on the screen.

See you at 8 darlin x

You’re trouble mister 🙈 I'm looking forward to you seeing you too.

“Am I allowed to know about whatever it is that's making you look at your phone like that?” 

Billie's head snaps up when she hears her colleague Lisa's voice, seeing her standing in her office doorway with a curious look on her face.

“Nope” Billie says, sending a kiss face emoji back to Glen before locking her phone and quickly shoving it back into her pocket.

“Cmon B, we've worked together long enough for me to know that that” she says pointing at Billie's pocket, “Is absolutely something to do with a guy. So come on, spill”.

Billie grins, picking her water bottle up from her desk and bending to check her computer screen to see who her next client is. 

“Need to know basis at this point, Lisa”

“Oh yeah? I don't even get a little hint?”

Billie laughs at her friend's insistence.

“Alright, here's one. He's fucking gorgeous”

Lisa rolls her eyes. “That's hardly a hint Bil”.

Billie shrugs, smiling sweetly and walking over to the doorway beside Lisa.

“That's all you need to know for now”.

“Need to know, or get to know?”

“Both”

“Did you meet him at Rufus on Friday?”

Billie shrugs again innocently. “Maybe”.

Lisa raises one eyebrow, running her fingers through her platinum blonde, spikey pixie cut. 

“You know I'm going to keep asking you, yeah?”

Billie laughs, the two walking down the hallway and stopping at Lisa's office.

“And you know I’m going to keep deflecting your questions yeah?”.

Lisa punches her arm playfully and Billie grins, nodding at her friend before walking off to the waiting room.

“Billie!”

Billie stops short as she passes Ross’ office, her boss sitting at his desk and waving to her. 

“Hey bossman”

“Just checking you’re still okay for the Monterey trip in August?”

Billie nods. “Sure am”.

Due to the clinic’s work with high school and college athletes, they often got asked to accompany teams to tournaments and competitions around the country. Billie had been on a few trips in her years at Evolution Sports Rehab, using them as a convenient excuse to see more of the US. So far she’d been to Florida, Atlanta and Boston, and several places in the greater California area.

A few weeks ago Ross had been contacted about a four day college football tournament in Monterey, California. He'd pitched the opportunity to her and the rest of the physical therapists at a clinic meeting last month and Billie had put her hand up to go. Namely, because Bec and Ben had a gorgeous beach house down in Monterey that Billie had spent countless girls' weekends at. Knowing that Bec wouldn't batter an eyelid if she asked to borrow it for a few days, she'd jumped at the idea of a mini getaway at the beach - even if she had to work for a little while she was there.

“Can you make sure you've done your stock order by the end of the week please? Whatever sports tapes and creams you think you'll need for it”

Billie exhales and leans her hip against the door frame, shaking her head at her boss.

“Why on earth do you think I haven't already done that Ross?” Billie asks, grinning when Ross rolls his eyes and laughs, “I mean we've only worked together for how long? It's like you don't know me at all”.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry” he says, waving her off.

Billie laughs and turns to exit his office, Ross’ voice making her stop.

“You seem like you’re in a good mood today?”

Billie turns to look at Ross curiously. “Am I not usually?”

Ross laughs. “You’re always happy and bubbly Billie, but it just feels like you have an extra spring in your step today”

Billie shrugs innocently, knowing full well that it's the evening activities she has planned that's making her seem giddy. But her boss certainly doesn't need those extra details.

Billie opens her mouth to respond but is cut off by Ross’ phone ringing, the two sharing a look that says ‘talk later’ without words. Ross nods at her before he picks up his phone, Billie waving him off and walking out to collect her next patient.

---

Billie is lighting her favourite coffee scented candle on the table when she hears the knock at the door, Nugget jumping from his bed and barrelling down the hallway like a rhino in a stampede. She puts the box of matches down and makes her way to the front door, pausing to quickly look over her reflection in the oversized hallway mirror. 

She exhales heavily, looking back at her face.

Glen Powell is about to be in her house.

It's words she never thought she'd say in a million years, yet here she is, about to invite him in on a third date. 

A third date, that she's very much hoping ends in the stereotypical way it's said that third dates do.

Billie is acutely aware of the way her heart is doing backflips in her chest, her insides feeling giddy as she pulls open the door.

“Hey there peach”

Billie's cheeks instantly flush at his nickname, never mind the utterly sexy smile on his face that makes her temporarily forget her own name. He’s dressed in a tight tan t-shirt that Billie can’t help but notice is nearly strangling his thick biceps, his hair fluffy and brushed back like it was in the photo he'd sent her earlier.

It takes everything she has not to jump him right there and then. 

“Peach?” she questions with a grin at Glen, tilting her head and leaning her temple against the door edge.

He grins, shrugging his broad shoulders adorably. “I dunno, it just came to me”.

Billie laughs then, opening the door all the way and gesturing for Glen to come in. He’s holding a wriggling Brisket in one arm, the tiny dog desperate to get to Nugget who is similarly wriggling with excitement at Billie’s feet. Billie manages a quick hello pat before Glen bends and lets Brisket run off into the house, the two dogs galloping away already in play mode.

Glen steps inside and stands beside Billie, the heady scent of his delicious cologne instantly clouding her. She barely has time to close the door behind her before Glen's hands are on her, his lips finding hers in a heated kiss that leaves her breathless and wanting.

“I've been thinking about doing that all day” he whispers when they eventually part, his lips still only an inch from hers, one of his hands reaching up to tuck one side of her loose hair behind her ear.

It's the smallest gesture, but in an instant it has Billie melting.

“That makes two of us” Billie replies, her eyes never leaving his full lips, reaching for his jaw and pulling him back in for another tender kiss that he immediately deepens with his tongue.

God, if she didn't stop now they'd end up fucking in her hallway.

She forces herself away from him knowing that she’ll lose control if she lets their kiss continue for even a second longer, feeling her stomach squeeze in the best way when he keeps hold of her hand and lets her lead him down the hallway.

“Can I get you a drink?” Billie asks, gesturing for Glen to take a seat and walking over to open the back door for Nugget and Brisket to go outside, “I’ve got beer, wine, soda or water”.

“I’ll take a beer please” he says, pulling out a stool and sitting down, resting his elbows on the bench.

Billie can’t help but smile at the sight of him sitting in her kitchen. It all seems so domestically normal, but really, it’s anything but that. It’s like she has to actively work to keep her eyes from staring at him - at his thick, tanned forearms, his full, plump lips, or his gorgeous green eyes that are currently following her around her kitchen. The kitchen of which, she’d happily let him take her on every single surface of. 

She exhales silently through her nose. 

Fuck.

“I realise that I should have asked this earlier” Billie asks suddenly, turning and opening the fridge to retrieve a beer and an already opened bottle of pinot grigio, “But please tell me you eat sushi? Because I definitely don’t have an option B prepared”

Glen laughs, his deep chuckle echoing in the kitchen. “I do. Did you order in?”

Bille shakes her head, popping the cap off the beer and handing him the bottle. “No, we’re making it”

Glen eyes her curiously, one eyebrow raised. “I’ve never made sushi before”.

“It's easy, I promise”, Billie says as she pours herself a glass of white wine, lifting the glass to her lips and taking a sip, “I’ve got it all ready to go”.

“How was work today?” Glen asks when Billie starts taking her already chopped and prepared ingredients out of the fridge and laying them on the bench in front of Glen.

She tells him about Dani, her patient that pulled a new personal best, and about the Monterey trip in August. 

“Do you go on trips like that often?” 

Billie shrugs as she peels two sheets of dried seaweed from the packet, laying them on the bamboo mats in front of her and Glen. 

“I've been on a few actually. The last one was a baseball tournament in Boston last October” she explains as she pulls the bowl of now cooled sushi rice from the stove onto the bench, “I went with Shanya, one of my younger colleagues and honestly it felt more like a holiday than work. We had the best time. Got to see Fenway too, which was definitely a highlight”.

Glen listens intently as she talks, Billie feeling his eyes on her as she leans against the bench and takes another sip of her wine. She loves the way each part of her body feels as he looks at her, her mind soon wandering and imagining how his hands would feel instead.

For a second she seriously considers completely ditching dinner and moving straight to the part of tonight she’s been thinking about all day.

“Okay so do you have any idea how to do this?”

Glen shakes his head no, the adorable expression on his face making Billie laugh.

“The hardest part is making sure you don't put too much rice, and then the rolling of course” Billie explains, using a spoon to flatten a layer of rice onto the seaweed sheet, “Then you just add your fillings long ways like this” she adds, arranging salmon, avocado and Japanese mayonnaise horizontally across the rice.

She wets her fingers and carefully rolls up the seaweed, looking up at Glen when she's produced a perfect looking sushi roll.

“See, easy right?”

Glen laughs, clearly not convinced.

They spend the next fifteen minutes making sushi, Billie offering her best constructive criticism and chuckling when Glen's first attempt immediately unrolls on the plate. The second one is a little better albeit has filling falling out the sides, Glen clapping his hands in triumph when it stays put on the plate and making Billie laugh harder.

If her life were a movie, this scene would be shown as a video montage in the kitchen with a fun pop song in the background, cutting between snippets of Billie and Glen laughing and grinning at one other. 

She can’t help but smile stupidly at the thought.

“Wow, you can't half tell which ones are mine” Glen comments when they’ve finished, taking a sip of his beer as Billie clears the empty prep plates into the sink, “Mine look terrible”.

Billie scoffs. “For someone that’s never made sushi before, I think they’re a pretty good first attempt”

Glen flashes her a grateful smile that Billie returns with her own, asking him to refill their drinks as she sets about slicing the sushi rolls and bringing them over to the table.

“How old are you in this photo?”

Billie looks up at Glen to find him pointing at one of the many photos on her fridge door, walking closer to see that it’s the one of her and Sloane at Camp America.

It's one of her favourite photos, her and Sloane standing with their arms wrapped around each other, faces plastered with enormous happy smiles as they balance precariously on stand up paddleboards. 

A split second after the photo was taken, they'd lost their balance and splashed into the freezing but stunning turquoise blue waters of Lake Tahoe.

To this day, Billie wasn't sure if it was the happiness on their faces or the memory of them falling and laughing that made her love the photo so much.

“That would have been seven years ago now, so twenty three, twenty four?” Billie replies, coming to stand next to Glen and looking back at the photo nostalgically, “God that was an incredible Summer”.

“You know what’s incredible?” Glen asks, tilting his head as he looks down at Billie beside him, “You in that bikini’. Fuckin’ hell darlin’’” 

“Oh stop it” Billie replies, punching Glen’s shoulder playfully. 

“I'm serious, peach. You'd have driven all of the teenage boys crazy looking like that” Glen adds, clicking his tongue as he looks back at the photo, “I can just imagine them all lining up to have you as their camp counsellor”.

Billie laughs. “Actually, I was mostly in charge of teaching water sports and leading hikes”.

“And they were the most popular activities?”

Billie grins. “They were pretty popular, yes”.

Glen's face splits into an even bigger grin, Billie shaking her head and walking back over to the table.

“So what about you?” Billie asks when they’re both seated minutes later, taking a sip of her now full wine glass and looking across at Glen, “How was your day? The photoshoot?”.

Glen’s eyes are narrowed as he momentarily focuses on dipping a slice of sushi roll into the bowl of soy sauce without dropping it, Billie glancing over at Nugget and Brisket and smiling when she sees them both squeezed onto the dog bed in the living room. 

“It went well, as good as photoshoots can go I suppose” he reasons, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, “After a while, they sort of all blend together. But sometimes they’re fun”

“Do you at least get to keep the clothes?”

Glen laughs. “Sometimes. But also, some of the shit they get you to wear, I don’t know what they’re thinking sometimes”

Billie laughs then, covering her mouth as she chews.

They soon settle into a quiet comfort, eating, talking and laughing. 

Billie isn't sure she’s ever met a man who could make her laugh as much as Glen did, and certainly not one that she could have such a rich conversation with at the same time. Not only that, the way Glen looked at her as she spoke - like she’s the most stunning, intriguing, sexy thing that he’s ever laid his eyes on. 

It was hard not to feel fucking incredible when he looked at her like that.

Billie smiles to herself and lets out a silent breath as she settles back into her chair, her mind quietly wondering about all the other ways that Glen could make her feel.

Fuck.

---

Glen

Glen relaxes back into the couch, cold beer in hand as he watches Billie standing at the back door waiting for the dogs to come back inside after their dinner. For the millionth time in the hour and a bit that he’s been here, he pushes away the sinful thoughts of Billie that have all but plagued his mind for the last three days. 

She looks somehow even better than he remembered from Sunday, today dressed in a pair of slouchy denim cut offs that end high on her toned, tanned thighs, and a loose white knit sweater that seems to keep slipping down to reveal one smooth, bare shoulder. The top half of her hair is pulled back from her face with a tortoiseshell coloured clip, a few loose bits falling around her face as the rest tumbles down her back in soft, chocolate waves.

He wonders idly if she has any idea how god damn sexy she is, Glen forcing himself to look away from her bare legs when she whistles for Nugget and Brisket to hurry up. 

He looks around the living room, loving the homey details that are so uniquely Billie, his eyes falling on a photo book on the coffee table in front of him. He reaches for the book and starts to flip through it, smiling at each new page of the lovingly snapped and collated photos that display all of the people and things that Billie loves.

There’s multiple snaps and pictures of Nugget - from when he was an adorable tiny puppy all the way through the giant golden bear that he is now. Of him and Billie at the beach - Billie kneeling and smiling happily at the camera while Nugget stands saturated and panting beneath her arm, of Billie laughing as she holds Nugget like a baby - his head flopped upside down and tongue lolling out to the side, a selfie of the two of them with their faces side by side. 

Next is photos of Sloane, Bec and Billie at various times - the three of them posing and dressed to the nines at a formal event, another of them each holding a fruity cocktail, sun-kissed and smiling as they stand on beach somewhere tropical, and another of the three of them standing together arms intertwined with their heads thrown back in laughter.

Glen looks up when Billie comes over to the couch, shifting to give her more room when she sits down beside him. Her sweet, peachy perfume fills his nose as she leans into him, her knees bent and folded beneath her. He smiles down at her for a moment, Billie oblivious to his gaze as she picks up her phone and navigates to Spotify, a soft Luke Combs song suddenly playing from the living room speaker.

Glen looks back at the book as Billie sips her wine, flipping the page and looking down at a picture of Billie standing arm in arm with a guy. It takes him a second to realise that he has the same honey-green eyes as Billie, the shape of their smiles similarly wide and happy. 

“Is this Bradley?” Glen asks, noting more similarities between the two of them the more he looks at the picture.

Billie nods.

“And that” she adds, leaning over and pointing to two pictures on the page next to it, “Is Harrison and Kiara”.

“Kiara looks like you” Glen comments looking down at the adorable brunette girl in the picture, Billie leaning her head on Glen’s shoulder and smiling almost nostalgically. 

“Bradley and Jordyn say that all the time”.

Glen looks down at Billie and smiles softly. 

“You miss them”

“Everyday” she replies, letting out a quiet exhale, “You know what it’s like with nieces and nephews”.

Glen smiles gently but doesn’t say anything, closing the book after a few more pages and turning to look at Billie. 

“So you said you don’t start until late tomorrow?”

Billie nods, turning so that her body is facing Glen, leaning one elbow on the back of the couch and resting her cheek in her hand.  “Yep. I’m going to that gymnastics meet. So I don’t have to be in until 12”

“So you can sleep in then?”

A grin slowly grows on Billie's face then, a playful look in her bright hazel eyes.

“I can, yes”.

Glen can’t help the expression that takes over his face.

“I like sleeping in”.

Billie raises one eyebrow, her head tilting as she looks back at him.

“Is that right?”

His lips stretch into a mischievous grin and he nods, Billie grinning as she taps her fingers against the wine glass in her free hand. 

“You know what I like even more?” he breathes, reaching out to tuck stray hairs behind Billie’s ear as his eyes fall to her plush lips.

“Tell me”

“Kissing you”

Glen’s hand cups her smooth cheek and he leans in and kisses her, pressing his lips to hers in a soft, tender embrace. He can taste the wine on her tongue, her mouth moving against his in a way that makes his stomach flip, Glen moving his hand into her hair and deepening their intimate kiss.

Billie lets out a soft moan that he swallows with his lips, the sound making Glen’s whole body stir in the best way. He can feel his arousal growing, his heart starting to race, his grip tightening in Billie’s hair as he explores her mouth with his tongue. 

He wants more, needs more, suddenly desperate to feel more of Billie beneath his fingertips.

Glen pulls away for a second, lungs starting to burn, reaching down to take the wine glass from her hands and deposit it on the coffee table. Billie understands the action immediately, barely waiting for Glen to sit back before she’s climbing into his lap, straddling his legs and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Her lips are back on his in an instant, their kiss immediately deepening, Glen kissing her hungrily as his hands fall to her waist and grip at the thickest part of her hips. The feel of her curves in his hands makes him dizzy, even more so when Billie threads her fingers into his hair and drags her nails against his scalp. 

He groans then, the sound clearly having an effect on Billie, her hips grounding down into him in response. He’s hard now, painfully hard, and he knows Billie can feel it as she starts to rock her hips into him. 

Fuck he wants her, every single part of her, all over him and everywhere. 

Glen finds the hem of her sweater, sliding his fingers underneath the thin cotton and onto her buttery-soft skin, pressing his fingers into her warm flesh and pulling her flush against his chest. The action makes Billie break their kiss, dropping her head back as a breathy moan escapes her, Glen not missing a beat and dragging his lips along her jaw. 

He’s overwhelmed by her scent - sweet and heady and driving every one of his senses mad, completely lost in her as he kisses her ear, her neck, her collarbone. 

“Fuck, Glen” Billie sighs, her voice barely louder than a whisper, a wanting, almost pained moan following when Glen sucks at the thin skin near the base of her throat.

He’s just about to move lower, all of a sudden desperate to have his lips on her chest, Billie suddenly somehow reading his mind and reaching for the bottom of her sweater. He pulls back for just a moment, hands helping to peel the soft material from her body, a groan he can’t control falling from him at the sight that’s now in front of him. 

He doesn’t know where to look first, painfully aware of the way his length is straining in his jeans beneath Billie, eyes glued to her breasts held in only just by a small, black bralette. They’re not big but they’re certainly not small, round and perky and threatening to fall out of the thin cotton material with the smallest of movements. He can see her nipples straining against the fabric, his tongue reflexively wetting his lips at the sight, his breathing turning ragged when he reaches out and cups her soft flesh.

Billie drops her head back again, sounding nothing short of perfect when she sighs his name, every single one of Glen’s muscles clenching as she arches her back into his hands and all but begs for his touch. He kneads her tits in his hands, thumbs swiping roughly over her covered nipples, looking up when Billie lifts her head back up and gazes down at him with seductive, hooded eyes.

“Fuckin’ hell peach, you’re gorgeous” Glen breathes, words trailing off into another strangled groan when Billie rolls her hips against his. 

She cups his face with both hands and pulls him back in for a kiss, this time hungry and feverish, like she can’t get enough of him fast enough. Glen responds eagerly, licking into her mouth and matching her desperation, his hands palming her harder as his thumbs drag the thin cotton down so that her breasts fall free.

The sound she lets out when he plays with her nipples is absolutely sinful, the way her breathing becomes instantly shaky making Glen want to growl. He breaks their kiss by biting down on her bottom lip, leaving her mouth and licking his way down to her chest. 

In that moment he swears he could stay there forever, drunk on Billie’s scent, her taste and feel beneath his lips, kissing and mouthing her smooth, silky skin. She cries out when his lips close around her left nipple, her back arching into his chest and his free hand moving to hold her there. He suckles at her, loving the way she all but shudders in his arms, her hips increasing their pressure with each new roll against him.

“Glen” she breathes, her voice soft and erotic, her hands threading once again into his hair and tugging gently, “Bedroom. Let’s go to the bedroom”

Reluctantly he releases her nipple - though not before savouring her for one more delicious moment, his grip on her waist tightening when she moves to stand up from his lap. He’s having none of that, instead moving both of his arms to her thighs, Billie letting out a surprised chuckle when he stands up from the couch with her wrapped firmly in his arms.

“Direct me, darlin’”

Billie laughs and bends and kisses him, Glen loving the plush, swollen feel of her lips, the two grinning back at one another as she instructs him to head down the hall to the last room on the left. 

He’s instantly distracted by Billie’s breasts in his face, unable to stop himself from immediately returning his lips to her sensitive flesh, navigating around the couch blindly as Billie tries to concentrate on guiding him.

Bumping into a side table and the wall of the hallway, several giggles fall from the both of them as they eventually make it to the bedroom. Glen bends and sits Billie down on the edge of the bed, her eyes never leaving his as she peels off her bralette and pulls the clip from her hair, Glen simultaneously shedding his t-shirt.

He loves the way she looks back at him then, her eyes sultry and wanting as they roam over his now shirtless torso, Glen’s own gaze dragging between her swollen lips and naked chest. Just when he thinks Billie couldn’t possibly look any sexier - a seductive, wanton goddess, all flushed cheeks and tousled hair, he sees her hands move to her shorts and watches as her fingers make quick work of the button and zip. 

Glen feels like he’s frozen then, unable to do anything but watch, his breath coming short and heavy as Billie slowly, torturously, shimmies the denim material down her legs. She slides them down to her ankles and lifts both feet in the air towards Glen, daring him to take them from her as the new position of her legs teases an explicit view of between her thighs.

A groan falls from Glen, low and rumbling from somewhere deep within him, Billie grinning seductively when he grabs the shorts from her ankles and tosses them onto the floor behind him. She moves to scoot backwards but is stopped by Glen’s hand on her calf, Glen instead pulling her closer to the edge of bed as he lowers himself to the floor in front of her.

He doesn’t miss the soft whimper that falls from Billie when he pulls her legs apart and rests her thighs on his shoulders, the sight of her naked save for a skimpy, black cotton thong stirring something primal in him. He swears he could look at her all day like this, feeling dizzy from the sight of her, the smell of her arousal, the sound of her increasing breathing. He swallows thickly, his throat suddenly dry, his own arousal throbbing painfully inside his jeans as he thinks about what he’s about to do.

Glen’s been thinking about doing this since the moment he first kissed Billie, wondering what she’d taste like, what she’d feel like and what she’d sound like coming undone on his tongue. It’s his favourite thing to do - something he enjoys arguably more than sex, unsure if it’s the way he can tease and bring them right to the edge, the sight of them when they eventually fall apart above him, or the way they feel when they spasm against his mouth that he loves so much. 

He inhales heavily, hands sliding beneath Billie’s ass and grabbing at the thick part of her thighs, holding her steady and bending to press a kiss to her hip. He grins to himself when she lets out the softest whimper, looking up to see her eyes trained on him, her lips pressed together as her chest rises and falls quickly. 

He loves the desperate look in her eyes, he’s mad for it, feeling the electric tension in the air as she silently begs him to kiss her lower.

He kisses along the waistband of her thong, moving slowly as he holds her steady, tongue drawing delicate circles along her sensitive skin. He knows he’s driving her mad, watching as her jaw clenches and her fingers flex into the sheets below her, her eyes following his every movement. He grins as he moves lower, kissing over the cotton now, feeling her heat beneath the material as his fingers dig into her harder. He holds her gaze for a moment longer, electricity and an unspoken communication between them, finally tearing his eyes away and looking down as he hooks his finger and pulls her panties to the side.

And god if it’s not the most gorgeous sight he’s ever seen, his deep muscles clenching in the most delicious, desperate way.

He groans.

“Fuck peach, look at you”.

His eyes run over her syrupy folds, pink and glistening and begging to be tasted, his tongue wetting his lips before he bends and kisses her sex. The second his mouth is on her Billie tosses her head back into the sheets, a beautiful, breathy moan falling from her that makes Glen grip her harder.

He doesn’t waste any time, burying his tongue into her velvet flesh, his nose brushing her clit as he kisses her open-mouthed like he would her lips. The moans he teases from Billie are nothing short of erotic, an intimate melody Glen would happily listen to for hours. He brings his fingers to her sex and uses his thumbs to spread her open, licking and sucking at her sensitive flesh until he feels her muscles starting to tremble. 

His name falls from her lips between a myriad of expletives, her voice slowly getting louder as her body starts to writhe on the bed. Glen knows he’s got her then, knowing he’s close to teasing out her first release, determined to give her as many as she can take as he quickens the pace with his tongue. 

“Oh Glen fuck” she moans when his lips find her clit, circling and sucking as her hips start to ground into his mouth.

He groans into her folds, loving how she’s practically fucking his face, moving one hand to her pubic bone and flattening down to hold her steady. She sucks in a long, shuddering breath and Glen knows she’s almost there, increasing his pace with his tongue and watching as she tries to buck her hips against his hold.

“I’m close Glen, I’m close” she breathes, moans punctuating her words, her eyes squeezed shut as her hands fist into the sheets.

“That’s it darlin’, let me hear you” Glen whispers against her, sucking one of her luscious folds into his mouth and loving the way she cries his name, “I wanna hear you, peach”.

Keeping one hand flat on her pelvis, he drags two fingers through her folds and coats them with her slick, easing them inside her and looking up when she cries out in pleasure. Glen groans out loud, his eyes not knowing where to focus first, torn between the way his fingers look knuckles deep within her, the sight of her wet, syrupy folds practically dripping onto his hand, and her gorgeous, near naked form trembling on the bed.

Glen can’t get enough.

And neither can Billie.

He curls his fingers in the way that he knows will drive her mad, bending and kissing her slick flesh before lavishing it with his tongue. He quickens his pace, fucking her with his fingers and sucking at her clit, Billie’s cries becoming gorgeously desperate as her body soon starts to shake.

In that moment he knows he has her, letting out a heavy breath and coaxing her over the edge.

“Just like that Bil’, that’s it” he breathes against her slit, just loud enough for her to hear over her breathy moans, “Come on darlin’, give it to me. Come for me, sweets”.

His words are her undoing and in an instant he feels her entire body tense and release, Billie’s back arching away from the bed as her head tosses back in ecstasy. His name falls from her lips like a desperate prayer and her hips buck beneath his hold, the sight and sound of Billie’s orgasm taking over her so fucking beautiful that Glen can’t help but stare enamoured. He coaches her through her release, still fucking her slowly with his fingers, eventually stilling within her when she grabs his wrist silently telling him to stop.

He bends and kisses her velvety folds gently, withdrawing his fingers and watching in awe when her body spasms with tiny aftershocks, looking up to see Billie’s chest heaving as she lays back painting on the bed before him. 

He crawls his way up her body, leaving kisses on her heated skin - her hip, her breast, her collarbone, hovering above her and grinning down at her adorable post-orgasm bliss smile.

“You’re an absolute sight when you come darlin’” Glen whispers, bending and kissing her parted lips gently, “Never seen anything more fuckin’ sexy”.

Billie’s eyes flutter open, taking a second to focus on Glen above her, her swollen lips stretching into a soft, playful smile.

“I have” she whispers after a moment, lifting her hands to cup his jaw and pull him down for a kiss, “Your face looking up at me from between my thighs is something I won’t be forgetting anytime soon”.

Glen lets out a deep chuckle, lowering himself onto her and rolling his hips so that his painfully evident arousal presses into Billie’s belly. The action teases a soft, sexy moan from her throat, and suddenly he can’t help but think of another half a dozen things he’d like to do and make her not forget about.

He bends to kiss her then, capturing her lips in a heated, sensual kiss, her hands reaching out and roaming his naked back as his length presses against her, thick, hard and wanting. All at once the tension between them is building again, a growing desire licking at Glen’s insides like a raring, burning fire.

In an instant he can’t think of anything except for how much he wants Billie, how much he wants to make her come again, to bury himself inside her and fuck her over and over into the sheets beneath them - to watch her, hear her, feel her come undone around his cock.

His thoughts make Glen groan into her mouth, forcing himself away and quickly jumping from the bed, Billie propping herself up on her elbows to watch as he reaches for his belt buckle and makes quick work of his belt, jeans and underwear. He stands stark naked then, loving the seductive, hooded gaze that's returned to Billie's face, reaching down to stroke himself as her eyes run over his body and back again.

He's hard, painfully hard, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, looking over her parted lips and down to the tiny black thong that's still pushed to the side and affording him the most sinful view of her still slick folds. She’s like a siren, a vixen, a goddess if ever he's seen one.

And fuck he just can't get enough of her.

Especially not when she reaches over to her nightstand and pulls a condom from the top drawer, scooting backwards into the pillows and winking one gorgeous eye at him. He grins back devilishly, needing no instruction after that, crawling back onto the bed and cupping her jaw, kissing her hungrily as he takes the condom from her fingers.

“You ready darlin’?” he asks when he’s rolled it down his length seconds later, parting Billie’s legs and resting one of her ankles on his shoulder.

She only nods, her chest rising and falling with desperate anticipation, the look in her eyes telling him everything he needs to hear without words. He strokes himself roughly, cursing at the sight of his length dragging through her slick, lining himself up with her velvety folds and exhaling loudly as he meets her eyes once more.

Glen wets his lips and grins, loving the way Billie looks back at him then.

“Hold on, peach. Gonna show you somethin’ else you won’t wanna forget any time soon”.

----

Previous Chapter

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[ahundredtimesover]

Belong (01) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter (18+)

Chapter Word count: 14.2k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

Listen to: Boston by Augustana; Shelter by Luca Fogale || Playlist 🎶

A/N: Posting this today to celebrate People pt.2 and D-Day! Here’s a little piece I’ve had for a while. It felt fitting to write something about dreams and finding your purpose through Yoongi and at a time when I’m going through something similar. There’s nothing like his wisdom and his warmth so I hope this could mean something to you somehow. 💕 Please enjoy! And 🫡 to NBA Ambassador Suga! Now that’s his 🏀 dream in another form.

Present Day

There’s always something magical whenever you watch yourself on screen. 

It’s not due to some narcissistic reason or an insatiable desire for the spotlight; it’s not even because you think you’re really talented. Sure, you like the attention and just like anyone who’s spent years of their lives perfecting their craft, you want to be pretty great at it, but all those thoughts become suspended whenever it’s your scene. 

During these instances, it’s only about your character and her emotions, and that’s what you think is remarkable about it - watching yourself is just like being there, in that moment, on that set, feeling it all. 

Most actors would say they love acting because it gives them a variety of roles and personalities to play. You like that bit, too, but it’s the character’s emotions that you commit yourself to the most; it’s being able to immerse yourself in the feelings of joy and anger, of contempt and fear, of envy and admiration, of guilt and love. You like the finiteness of it, that with acting comes the feeling, and you know at some point, it’s going to end. 

Once the scene is over, so is the emotion; you’re able to let go of it right away with one breath. You’re good at that, you think - holding onto something for as long as it’s yours, and then letting it go when it no longer is. 

The collective gasp of the people around you breaks your bubble only a little; you release a breath yourself as the last scene unfolds. And with the final shot and the succeeding transition to the end credits, you let go of the sadness.

“I can’t believe that only took one shot,” your best friend, Taehyung, says in awe. “I would’ve been crying already knowing how it ends.”

“Jin and I challenged each other,” you proudly say. “We said we’d do our absolute best for that first try and the director thought it was that good. Seriously, not crying until that last second was so hard; I didn’t think I could do it.”

The Kim Seokjin, your co-actor and good friend, looks at you from the other side of the couch with that soft and proud look that you only ever get from him once a project is over. You return the sentiment, knowing that you wouldn’t have survived your first lead role in a drama series if he wasn’t acting alongside you. 

He’d been your senior at university where you both took your major in acting. He was already modeling then and snagged a major role in a movie right after graduation; he became a household name after that. 

You watched from the sidelines as he achieved his dreams while you took the occasional 30-second roles given to the students, but he didn’t forget you. He called regularly to know how you were doing, gave tips when you asked, and informed you of upcoming auditions. 

It was the type of friendship that challenged you, given that you both wanted to one day star in a series or movie together, a culmination of all the long hours of rehearsals and line-reading and classes that you both did. He had already made a name for himself; you wanted to be good enough to have yours be opposite his. 

It would take a few years, but after a supporting role in a romcom movie that saw people wanting more of you, you and Jin finally got cast in a series about a mortal woman falling in love with a celestial being, which, at the beginning, reflected your respective statuses in the industry. You expected the show to do well - everything that Kim Seokjin touches turns to gold, as the saying goes - but you didn’t expect for the public to love you both as a pair as much as they do, given that they want you to star in another show right away. 

“I cried as I turned around,” Jin says of the scene where he had to go back to his world and leave you behind. “That was heavy and even I’m impressed we did it in one shot.”

“Well, the sadness and grief would have dwindled by the third or fourth time,” you chuckle. “I’m not good enough yet to maintain all the emotions after so many takes.”

“Not that you aren’t good enough,” Jin counters. “You just haven’t been in the industry that long yet. That kind of experience makes a difference. I’d say I wouldn’t have been able to sustain the same emotion for long, too. It was a difficult one. I mean, what goodbye scene isn’t?”

It’s a rhetorical question, of course, but much of why it was difficult for you to keep the emotions in was because it was your first goodbye scene. You have a feeling that the succeeding ones wouldn’t be any easier, though. You’d like to think you’re okay with goodbyes and that says a lot, but then again, you don’t know anyone who’s actually good at it.

Or maybe you do. But you’d rather not think about it.

It’s silent for a few more seconds. You suppose that the rest of your co-actors who are here with you are still processing the end of a series that’s been their source of comfort for the past few months, too. It had been your weekly routine to watch the episode together in Jin’s house, not wanting to let go of each other just yet after filming wrapped up a few weeks ago. 

“Well, that was amazing, wasn’t it?” He finally speaks up. “It was a good run and thank god that ___ insisted on these watch parties. Or else I’d be crying by myself in my room after the finale,” he laughs. “This better not be the last time we see each other.”

“Because it isn’t,” you reply. “We still have that cast and crew dinner and a couple more filming stuff for promo. That’s easily another 3 more weeks of being together. Which is really 3 weeks too short.”

“So… does anyone want to go on a trip after that?” Hyun-seung, one of the actors, excitedly suggests. “It’d be a good way to unwind and use up what we’ll earn.”

You laugh along with everyone but you’re the only one who passes up on it. 

“I can’t,” you sigh. “I have a trip to Daegu at the end of the month and I can’t move it.”

Disappointed sighs echo throughout the living room, and you insist that they should continue with the trip without you. Most of them don’t want to, but you eye Jin so that he would make the call to push through with it even if you won’t be around, so he does. It’s rare to find such good company with other actors, and you truly want them to maintain the friendships they built here way beyond the series. 

Your friends make general plans as you listen in, wishing you could be there instead of home, which is where you’ll be for the next 2 months as you promised your family. Or more like, as they guiltripped you into doing. 

You haven’t been home in years and for good reason. After your parents separated and you were the lone child who didn’t harbor anger towards your mother who wanted to pursue her dreams elsewhere, you promised yourself you’d leave that place, too. 

Visits during summer had been fine. But after the most painful goodbye you ever made, you’d stopped going back altogether, reasoning that your up and coming career required all your time. You doubt that your family knew the truth, and despite their remarks of you following in the footsteps of your mother, those weren’t enough for you to open up about something so heartbreaking, knowing it hit too close to home. Their bitterness wasn’t a reason for you to keep going back either. 

“Daegu, really?” Jin asks after everyone else has left, save for Taehyung and Jimin, your personal assistant whose glassy eyes say he’s not yet over the season finale. “You haven’t been home in 6 years.”

“Four, actually,” you correct him. “I had a filming there sometime ago.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t actually go home,” he clarifies. “You went to the shoot then back to your hotel. I remember that; I kept asking Tae how you were doing.”

“I was fine,” you shrug. “How was I supposed to be? I was good, just couldn’t wait to get back here. I had a boyfriend, remember?”

“Andrew was a fling, not a boyfriend,” Jin rolls his eyes, and you confirm that the model is his least favorite of your exes. “And if I remember correctly, you broke it off days later.”

“Well, it stops being good when it stops being fun,” Taehyung says, mocking your usual statement whenever your friends ask why you broke things off with your partners. “She shut down when she came back. I guess going home does that to her.”

“You know how places just naturally comfort you? Daegu isn’t that place,” you try to explain. “I had to get it off my system for the one week I was there and Andrew acted out. I just didn’t want the drama.”

Everyone nods, knowing it’s how you usually are. You always viewed relationships as a complement to your job. Being an actor is tough work with its own complications and you definitely don’t want it from your partner. It was always easy for you to fall into that honeymoon hole with someone, but you always walked away from it just as quick once the rainbows and butterflies had subsided. Whether it’s jealousy over your leading men or not having enough time, or just wanting to be by yourself to regroup, your exes always found a reason to argue. And you were always good at walking away when you needed to.

It was like that with every person. Except one. Your friends don’t know if he’s the reason why, or if he’s the exception.

“So what made you decide to go home? And for how long?” Jin queries, feeling a little worried because of what he knows is out there for you. He’s always been a little protective like that.

“About 2 months?” You respond, to the surprise of the older man. “My dad wants me to celebrate his wedding anniversary with them. And spend time with my sisters’ kids and my grandparents and shit.”

“And spend time with my parents,” Taehyung adds, knowing it’s probably the only thing you’re excited about, given how much they adore you and vice versa. “They can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here,” you finally smile. “We’re definitely seeing them first.”

“Anyone else you’re going to see there?” Jin asks some more.

“You can say his name, you know?” You nudge your friend’s knee. “I know he’s who you mean.”

“Well then. Are you going to see Yoongi?”

“I don’t plan on seeing him but I probably will. It’s a big city but it’s a small town. Plus, I’m with Daegu’s Prince right here,” you say, pointing to your best friend who’s made a name for himself as a ballad singer. “Tae will be dragging me around so I won’t be surprised if I encounter Yoongi somehow, somewhere.”

“And what happens when you see him?” Jimin now asks, wanting to know if he��d need to drive to you in case you decide to come home early. 

“Then I see him. We’re… fine,” you state, earning you an eye roll from each man, so you clarify. “I mean, I’m perfectly fine living my dream in Seoul. And he’s a college basketball coach in Daegu, which is the closest to his dream he could get, and I heard his team’s doing really well. It’s been 6 years. He let me go. And I’ve moved on. Who knows how it’s gonna be like? But I’m civil with each one of my exes and it won’t be any different with him.”

“He’s different, though,” Jimin points out. “You actually loved him; you can’t say the same for all your exes. And you can’t argue that,” he adds, seeing your shaking head and disagreeing face. “Drunk and hungover you told me all that more than once and I trust that version of you over the sober one when it comes to your love life.”

“Okay, Mr. Know-It-All,” you frown at him. “I wasn’t going to deny that but it was the naive, impulsive, hopeless romantic version of me who loved him. That’s not me anymore. I’ve grown up. I know what I want from my partner, and Yoongi is just the small town boy who’ll always think that his broken dreams will keep him from loving me the way I deserve. And maybe he’s right.”

It’s quiet for a while, as your friends take in your words since you rarely ever talk about the man unless you’re in an inebriated state or recovering from it. But it’s the first time that the possibility of seeing him looms over you, knowing that within those 2 months, you’re bound to run into him somehow. 

Now it’s too quiet, and you realize that none of you know what to say since you’re all sober. Truth be told, you don’t remember anything that Jimin’s ever told you during those times that you opened up, and Jin never really said much, knowing how hard that breakup hit you. And Taehyung, well… the man was there before, during, and after it all, yet he never really said much, always choosing to let the silence engulf both of you.

“Look, I’m touched you all seem to be worried,” you finally speak up. “But I’m going to be fine. I found a house I’m renting that’s nice and private. I’m actually excited to eat at my favorite restaurants and visit places I’ve missed. I can’t do anything about my family but at least Tae will be with me the whole time and save me from their madness if he needs to. And Yoongi, well… he’s a closed chapter in my book. There’s no reason to revisit that. Hi, goodbye - that’ll be it, just like before.”

You sigh to yourself, hoping that your friends would take your word for it, though you don’t really blame them if they don’t. They’ve seen you barely bat an eye after calling it quits with your exes but they’ve heard of how broken you were because of that breakup; seeing Yoongi again might just bring up old memories that you might not be ready for. And they won’t all be there to lift you up like they’d want to. 

“Okay then, if you say so,” Jin finally smiles. “But if something comes up… you know I can always drive there and bring you back here.”

“And add to the already existing rumors about us being a thing?” You laugh, referring to all the social media fodder about your chemistry that’s too good, it might be real. 

“So? Then we let it,” he shrugs.

“Does the Kim Seokjin not care about dating rumors?” You gasp. “You always complained about it. Don’t tell me you like me.”

Jin sits next to you and cups your face in his hands. “I… love you. The way a dear friend who dreamed with you and who gets to live that out with you does. We all love you. We’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

“I do,” you say, humming once he plants a soft kiss on your forehead, just like all the times he’d done before - when you graduated university, when you didn’t get callbacks, and when you landed your first major role. “Thank you.”

You decide to head out after a long evening. Jimin lists your activities for the next day before he’s dropped off at his apartment. Taehyung lets you listen to his new single for his upcoming album, and you get emotional over his soulful sound and the fact that he gets to live out his dream with you, too.

He walks you to your front door and hugs you tightly, just like all the times he’d done before - when you cried about your family, when Yoongi broke up with you, and when you found out he was dating someone new. 

“I love you, okay?” Your best friend whispers. 

He says it in that soft, comforting voice of his. The one that always told you that things were gonna be fine, as if love solves all things, and at one point, you believed it did. 

Your hometown of Daegu looks very different from the last time you were really here. It changed a lot. And it changed pretty quickly. 

But some things about it stay the same - family-run restaurants, streets lined with little shops passed down from generations, the parks and the temples, the playground in your old neighborhood with the basketball court that you know all too well.

They make the place home, Mrs. Kim says. That doesn’t change no matter how far or how long you’ve been away. 

You want to disagree. This place was never home. It felt like bits of it during the times you used to watch ballet performances at the Opera House with your mom or when your dad used to grill makchang on Friday nights. 

But when she decided to leave and then he remarried, you had just memories of home left. Your sisters’ resentment over your happiness for your mother as she achieved her dreams took all that was remaining, and coming here reminds you more than what you lost; it reminds you of what you can never have - that space to dream, the place of safety, the love that would endure time and distance. 

You enjoy the best short ribs dish over Mr. Kim’s recordings of his saxophone performances. Mrs. Kim dotes on you like her own daughter, and Taehyung announces all the things you’ll be doing now that you’re both back home, taking your respective breaks that you deserve, and spending the money that you worked hard for. 

You eventually leave for some rest. The house you’re staying at is far from the buzz of the city. It’s private and secure, a little too spacious for one, and boasts of the views of the mountains. Jimin had found it, knowing you’d need the peace and quiet amidst all that would be taking place during your short time here. 

Taehyung will be staying over at his parents’ place, but they insist that it’s open for you to visit anytime you want. You think you need the time for yourself, though. Your job often requires you to be around people, and you’re thankful for the choice you have now to be away from them. For some time, at least.

[From: Manager Jung] Are you settled? I’ve got a script for you to go through. Sending it now 

Your agent-slash-manager’s message disrupts your moment of tranquility as you sit out at the garden, watching the sun set. You’d arrived from Seoul in time for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon at Taehyung’s parents’ house before heading to yours. 

[To: Manager Jung] Yeah, all good. But give me a week until I read the script. Don’t want to think much about work yet 

[From: Manager Jung] Fine. Just don’t take too long 

You sigh, knowing that though you promised Jin and Jimin that you won’t be thinking about work while you’re here - you need a break from it all, they told you - your manager won’t really let you. And much as you want to complain about him pushing you real hard, you’re thankful that Jung Hoseok always does. 

He was the one who saw your talent and insisted you’ve got a bright future after one casting call that you were almost late for. He was strategic in which roles to pitch you for as a rookie actor, and which ones would get you ahead of the game, no matter how challenging it was. During the times you wondered if you were meant for this industry, he always assured you that you were. There was always going to be a bigger break after the last, he believed, and he promised you he’d go searching for that role until you got the biggest break of your career. 

And every time you think he’ll cross the line of pressuring you too much, he says something sweet, brotherly, friendly. 

[From: Manager Jung] But take care of yourself there, ok? Don’t let them talk down on you. Don’t let them crush your dreams 

You’d cry if his words came with a hug.

[From: Manager Jung] And guard your heart. Don’t let him hurt you again 

You pretend he means your father; he let your sisters’ resentment of you go on after all, and his inaction made you feel unloved in your own home. 

You don’t want to think that Hoseok means someone else because it would mean that for all the times you questioned if everything you gave up to chase your dream was worth it, then he knew it was because of the man who broke your heart 6 years ago. You don’t want to think that all these years, Hoseok knew that your buzz-worthy dating life, whose aftermath he always had to manage, was just your futile attempt at getting over the first and only man you ever loved. 

Being in any sports facility unsettles you. You always claim that the buzz of sporting events just isn’t your cup of tea - you prefer the noise of a film or television set, or of a theater right before the movie starts. It wasn’t always like that, of course. You used to enjoy the screams and heckles of sports fans; you used to be one of them. 

But you found out the hard way that losing someone means you lose the parts of you that you’d adopted because of them, that you fall out of love with the things you used to love because of them.

Basketball is one of those things. It’s why Taehyung used to not invite you whenever there were Thunders games at Jamsil despite the free tickets always available for you; he knew you’d say no and he hates rejection. 

But Mr. Song is a man you can’t say no to. Not only is he the city’s mayor, he’s also a good friend of your father’s, which is how the chief official got wind of your return. 

Your trip isn’t meant to be publicized. Actors take breaks and visit their hometowns regularly without attracting the media, and oftentimes, that’s thanks to the local government, who employs their political will and own security to ensure that celebrities aren’t disturbed while they’re on vacation or just visiting family. It’s good for them, of course, but it also sometimes comes with small favors, like a private dinner with some of their close friends and some photos or autographs. You don’t really mind, especially since the same is extended to Taehyung, hence why the lunch earlier at the mayor’s residence wasn’t all that bad. It was only slightly awkward with your father because you chose to meet up with Taehyung’s family first before yours, but your dad didn’t dwell on it. 

Other than privacy, one other thing you get are free courtside Korean Basketball League tickets. The Pegasus just recently moved to Daegu from Incheon and there’d been a lot of promotion to get the city to give their full support to their new hometown team. Mr. Song thinks that photos of you and Taehyung attending the game will be the publicity that the team needs, and while your best friend genuinely agrees to the arrangement, you only do so half-heartedly. You’ll at least see your friends who are playing for the other team, but even the thought of Jungkook and Namjoon being back home and the party they’ll throw after is making you even more unsettled. 

“Hmm, number 16 was pretty cute,” you whisper to Taehyung as you head out of the locker room after some photos with the home team. “I wonder if he’ll be at the party tonight.”

“No, he won’t,” your best friend responds. 

“Why not? Because he’s from the other team? I’m sure that Jungkook won’t mind, right? I mean, yeah it’s his house but—”

“Tonight is for college friends only.”

“We didn’t even go to their university,” you point out, given that you and Taehyung studied in Seoul and had met there, instantly clicking after finding out you both hailed from the same city. “Why are we going?”

“We are honorary members,” he replies. “I went to high school with them and you…” he trails, trying to figure out how to phrase how you became an honorary member of their group of friends without bringing him up. 

“Are the ex of one of their friends,” you finish for him. “You can say it, you know?”

“I don’t know, can I?” He arches a brow.

“Yes. I don’t deny the fact that Yoongi and I dated.”

“You just deny how much it affected you.”

“You mistake my amazing ability of moving on for denial,” you groan. “But oh shit. Wait. Does this mean that he’ll be there at the party?”

Taehyung huffs as he settles in his seat and looks at your worried eyes. “For someone who doesn’t seem to be in denial, you sure look a bit anxious that he might be there tonight. Didn’t you say you can be civil with your exes?”

“Yeah, I can,” you reply defensively. “I don’t know about him. But then again, he moved on first, so I doubt seeing me would affect him much.”

Your best friend lets out a breath, not wanting to argue. He’s learned long ago that when it comes to Yoongi, you’re dead set on many things - like the narrative that he moved on first, that he was so much happier without you, that dreams were always more important for him, whether it was yours or his. Taehyung tried to help you process that whole experience, especially the aftermath, as you went on dating one man after another after you found out about Yoongi dating some local musician. 

But you always had a default answer, that you’ve always been that way - quick to fall in love and quick to fall out of it, and Yoongi was no exception. You met, fell in love, and while you technically didn’t fall out of love, the breakup left you no choice but to do just that; he was the one who insisted that you leave, after all, and you’d been the one too heartbroken that he didn’t love you enough to make you stay.

“Well then let’s just see what happens,” Taehyung shrugs. “We’ve got a game to watch, a party to go to, and friends to catch up with.”

“And a nice, peaceful home to retire to after tonight. I’ll need all the good energy before I see the rest of my family tomorrow,” you sigh.

Right, there’s that, Taehyung frowns. Your family’s too complicated that you insist you don’t want him to get sucked into the drama, hence why you don’t want him to go with you. But between that and the possibility of seeing your ex, he could only hope that during this trip, you won’t get your heart broken too early, too quickly, or too hard.

“How is it that the Pegasus have been playing here for months but it’s the first time we’re watching their game live?” Geumjae asks incredulously as he sips his beer. 

“Because it’s the first home game of the season against the Thunders when I’m home and when Jungkook and Namjoon don’t have girlfriends to give their tickets to,” Yoongi explains to his older brother. “And well, I never asked before.”

“Well, good on us that you’re here and your friends currently don’t have girlfriends,” Geumjae laughs. “Also, you could totally ask. They’re your friends; I don’t think it would be that hard for them to get extra seats for us.”

“I’m not their only friend here. I’m sure a bunch of the guys from college would ask,” Yoongi shrugs. 

“You’re not just their friend, Yoon,” his brother groans. “You played with them, you captained them, and led them to college championships.”

“Yeah, yet I’m the one hustling it out as a college coach while they’re playing pro,” the younger man huffs. 

He doesn’t mean to be bitter. He loves those guys, hustled it out with them until the late evenings just to get the proper training and workout in almost a decade ago. He couldn't be any prouder when Jungkook and Namjoon got drafted to professional teams and then reunited as teammates with the Seoul Samsung Thunders just 2 years ago. Yoongi had been the encouraging senior who messaged them right away, happy for his peers for being together again just like old times. He won’t lie and say it didn’t sting a bit to be left out from the life they all dreamed of having, with him being the only one who didn’t get to achieve it alongside them. 

“Well, if it matters at all, you’re doing amazing,” Geumjae tries to cheer his brother up. “I read online that many are calling your team to win it all this year. Imagine being the only person in your school’s history to be a champion player and coach? Not just anyone can say that.”

Yoongi hums, trying to let the thought comfort him. It doesn’t do much; coaching a college basketball team is leagues away from playing professionally. The energy is different, so is the hustle. Shooting hoops with the kids during training isn’t the same. The lights and the cheers as he sits on the bench calling plays isn’t the same either. He can at least say that with coaching, he’s able to shape and mentor the young ones, direct them to better paths, encourage them to reach their dreams, and to not settle for a life they’re not happy with or proud of. He’s got a bunch of players who got drafted last year and dedicated their first professional game to him, and that’s an indescribable feeling he’ll always hold onto. It reminds him that even if it wasn’t him, it was at least someone he cared about. 

He watches as the players do their warmups on court before the start of the game. This isn’t the first time he’s watched live, but it’s the first time with Jungkook and Namjoon as teammates, so seeing them goof around and do the handshake that they used to do warms his heart a little. Maybe it’s this bit of joy that he needs to remind him that it’s okay, that even if life turned out differently for him, at least basketball is still part of his life. There’s more he wants, of course, but this is way better than nothing. He reminds himself at one point, he didn’t think he could ever set foot on a basketball court again.

The game finally starts and though he’s usually quiet whenever he watches games, he can’t help the small small cheer he makes whenever Jungkook or Namjoon scores or makes crucial plays. He still knows their moves, can still read Jungkook’s pump-fake, and can still tell by Namjoon’s stance if he’s gonna make that rare three. Though he was a shooting guard during his glory days, Yoongi still prides himself in his playmaking skills and knowing his teammates well, something that scouts used to rave about. 

Yoongi sips his beer, no doubt enjoying the exciting match. He obviously wants the Thunders to win, but the Pegasus aren’t backing down, not letting themselves trail by more than 8 points. He’s in a bit of a trance, as he lets himself drown in the cheers of the crowd, imagining that it’s him leaving it all out on the court. 

But as he looks up on the big screen during timeout, he feels like the air is being sucked out of him. His ears don’t betray them either, as the announcer calls on your name and Taehyung’s - “celebrity sightings,” he says, while you and your best friend wave to the camera and smile like the superstars that you both are. The cheers get louder and Geumjae joins them until he realizes.

“Shit, that’s your ex-girlfriend,” he whisper-shouts. He laughs at the scene of his brother practically choking on his drink. “Wow, she still has that effect on you, huh?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Yoongi says nonchalantly, desperately forcing his heart to slow its beating. 

“Did you know she’s gonna be here?”

“I don’t keep tabs on her whereabouts, Geumjae,” he replies, suddenly sounding hard, defensive.

“Do you think she’s gonna be at the party?”

Fuck, the party, Yoongi slightly panics. Jungkook talked about the sort of reunion he’s throwing at his house after the game. Their old teammates will be there, as well as some other friends from college who are still in the city. You and Taehyung were honorary members of that group and Yoongi knows that you’re both invited, too.

“I guess,” he merely shrugs, looking like it doesn’t bother him much. 

It shouldn’t. It’s been 6 years, and while he’d been the one to break it off, you’re the one who’s dated a lot since then, something he can’t fault you for. You’d obviously catch a lot of attention - you did catch his - not just for your charm and unbelievable beauty but for your talent as well. He’s not surprised that you’re rumored to be dating Kim Seokjin, said to be this decade’s most desired leading man and who also happens to be your good friend, the one who’d helped you out a lot during your years in university. Yoongi used to be a little jealous then, something he never told you, and well, he guesses it’s meant to be with you and Seokjin now, a man he could probably never live up to. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” Geumjae breaks through his thoughts.

“Yeah. Why won’t I be?” Yoongi huffs, sinking back to his seat to watch the game that suddenly isn’t so interesting anymore. 

His question is left unanswered and his brother resumes his cheers, no doubt invested in this match that’s now tied. But Yoongi drifts in and out, his eyes following the players up and down the court then mindlessly landing on you. You’re seated in a relaxed manner, the opposite to how you used to watch his games. He sees you silently cheer for the Thunders, too, and you giggle at Taehyung when you scream louder than you intended, your hand covering your mouth as you lean on your friend and he laughs along. 

He could hear the sound of your laughter from across the gymnasium, as if the way the dulcet tone of your voice used to send shivers down his spine whenever you giggled in his ears was just yesterday. He shakes off the goosebumps he feels and tries to sit comfortably on the chair.

“Are you nervous?” Geumjae asks. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“Since when was I ever loud during a basketball game?” He shoots his brother an incredulous look. 

“You may not make a sound but your body does,” the older man points out. “I could feel you buzzing earlier and cheering in that Yoongi way of yours but now,” he eyes him up and down, “your legs are just bouncing. And you're biting your nails again.”

Yoongi catches himself. He forces his leg to be still and tucks his hand under it. It’s a tell he has, and he has no doubt that his brother has caught on. Still, he lies. “The game’s close. I want the Thunders to win.”

“Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“Yes, now can we just focus on the game?” Yoongi chides, not wanting to confirm whatever his brother’s suspicions are. 

“Fine, but for the record, I know exactly why you’re nervous.”

“I don’t really care.”

Geumjae sighs as he watches his brother’s gaze go to you once more, unknowingly, perhaps, as Yoongi seems to shake himself off after every time he realizes that his eyes were locked on your direction. But he can’t blame the younger man. You entered his life and he fell, extremely hard, and letting you go was the most difficult thing he ever had to do. Yoongi doesn’t need to tell him though, but there’s enough of his younger brother’s broken pieces lying around for Geumjae to know that it was also something he regretted doing, and he wishes his brother was at least brave enough to admit all that.

The Thunders win by 5 points. It was nail-biting until the very end. It was Namjoon’s crucial offensive rebound and Jungkook’s 3-point shot that sealed the game for them, and Yoongi was present enough to witness those last few plays. He decides to enjoy this moment with his friends, knowing they’d be asking him about it later. If he’ll still go to the party. Somehow, seeing you again made him a little dizzy. It was still on the screen, but now he’s not sure he’ll know what to do when he sees you in person. 

He and his brother let the crowds go before heading out separately. Geumjae’s car is parked elsewhere, and Yoongi decides to head to the washroom and pace his walk to the parking lot. Hands on his pockets and eyes glued to the floor, he hears a gasp, and he releases one himself when he sees you, hiding behind one of the vending machines as a group of fans at the end of the hallways starts walking towards your direction, wondering aloud where you went. 

He sees the panicked look in your eyes and decides to stop the crowd before they come any closer. 

“She headed that way,” he announces, pointing to the right. “There’s an exit there. She probably left already.”

You hear the disappointed sighs, and much as you don’t want to let your fans down - you’re not one to deny them autographs - there have been too many of them this afternoon and you weren’t mentally prepared to accommodate each one of them. The footsteps disappear not long after and you let out a sigh of relief. That was close, but you didn’t expect Yoongi, of all people, to be the one to stir them away.

You turn to him, about to say your thanks, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat. You recall being a giddy mess the very first time you saw him, with nibbled lips and palpitating heart as you watched him shoot baskets and dribble the ball like no one’s business, and you’d been a goner since then. But he was a lot thinner during that time. His hair was cut short and his eyes had this sharp, confident gaze that usually intimidated people. You eventually saw how they softened only for you, though, but you’ll always remember that summer and how he had you wanting him at first glance. 

This man before you isn’t all that different. He still has the same sharp eyes, with his look penetrating right through your soul like he knows you and well, he does, which is also why he was quick to misdirect the crowd after he perhaps saw the look of worry on your face. His tiny nose is the same, so is his pale skin. But his hair is now long, pushed back in the middle as it softly reaches close to his shoulders. He’s a lot leaner; you can easily tell from what’s hiding behind his thin white shirt underneath his blue jacket. You recall him dressing mostly in monotone colors, so seeing him in something a little more striking is new. He’s gorgeous just like before, and you don’t really know why you expected that he wouldn’t render you speechless this time around.

“___,” he calls out. “Were they bothering you?”

“No, uh…” you stutter, hating yourself for suddenly being nervous. “There were just too many of them and they were getting quite close, I kind of panicked. Stupid, really. I should be used to it by now. More of them came and I just…”

“If they were invading your personal space then that’s not right,” he says, his tone so serious you mistake it for worry. “Did they touch you or anything?”

“Oh no! Nothing like that. I just got a bit overwhelmed.”

“Where’s Taehyung?” He asks, as you watch him walk to the vending machine where you’re hiding, tap his card, and then get the bottled water that falls out. He opens it and hands it to you as if he’d done this so many times before, and well, he actually has.

“He met up with a couple of friends,” you explain. “The crowd got to me right after and I kinda lost him, but I told him I’ll meet him outside, somewhere near where the players come out.”

“Hmm, okay,” Yoongi hums, looking away. 

He should’ve expected you to look way more beautiful up close but he tends to underestimate his ability to be entranced by you. He’s surprised he even got any word out, but the worry crept in the moment he saw you look a little winded and he just wanted to make sure you were alright. You’re a celebrity, after all, and the city’s “Princess,” as they claim. 

You look a little nervous though, and a part of him just wants to scold Taehyung for leaving you behind, seeing as neither of you looked like you had security with you earlier. But that shouldn’t be his responsibility anymore, he reminds himself. 

“Thanks for the water, by the way,” you speak up. “How much was it?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks again,” you smile shyly. “So, uhm, do you know where the other exit is? I’m kind of lost.”

“Oh, uh… the one close to where the players go out is there,” he cocks his head to the left, towards a hallway behind swinging doors. “I can uh, I can show you where.”

“Ah, that would be great. Did you park close there, too?”

No.

“Yeah,” he lies. “Let’s go before more people see you.”

He opens the door and walks after you. It doesn’t help that the hallway suddenly feels much smaller and closed off because now, Yoongi has to listen to your footsteps and nothing else, since neither one of you chooses to talk. 

What does he say to the woman he broke up with 6 years ago? Maybe he can say something about your recently concluded series. He thought it was really good. Is it weird to ask what your next project is? Perhaps. You probably can’t even tell him. How was it like being the leading lady this time? Fuck, he’s not a talk show host or anything like that. 

He sees the end of the hallway before his mind can come up with another stupid question, and he rushes to the door before you do, catching you by surprise. 

“Just wanted to make sure there’s no one to bother you,” he explains, as you exit the building with questioning eyes. 

“Oh, thanks,” you smile shyly again. 

He’s not used to it. He remembers the way your eyes used to gaze at him constantly, how your smile and laughter were all cheeky and flirty, how the tone of your voice was always so confident, so charming. He thinks that maybe like him, you’re just as surprised and unsure about seeing each other after so long. He doesn’t know what to make of things beyond that.

“Do you have someone to pick you up?” he asks, needing to prepare himself if, as a last resort, he’d need to drive you somewhere.

“Yeah, Tae and I were supposed to ride together but,” you pause, checking your phone for your best friend’s text message, “he rode off with his friends and said he’d meet me at Jungkook’s instead so I’m just waiting for the guys. There’s the—”

Party, Yoongi says in his head.

“___!” Jungkook’s loud voice cuts you off. He jogs up to you and puts an arm around your shoulders, unaware of the man in front of you who’s being blocked by a wall. “You ready to go? Tae said he went ahead.”

Yoongi makes his presence known with a low grunt, his eyes pacing from his friend to you. You both look a lot closer than he remembers, and Yoongi’s mind goes to that first time you all met, how Jungkook had announced during their team celebration that the “girl with the yellow scarf on her hair is so pretty” and that he’d wanted to ask you out. Of course, things turned out differently - you weren’t interested in the younger man. But that was years ago. Jungkook has had an impressive professional career and he lives in Seoul. Maybe things have changed for you.

You follow Yoongi’s eyes. Despite many people claiming that he’s difficult to read because of the default unconcerned, almost detached look he has for every situation, you think he’s actually pretty transparent. 

Or maybe that’s just you. You’ve spent enough time with him to know his sound of annoyance and the meaning of his body language. You’ve memorized that pretty face of his at one point that you can tell the slightest parting of his lips and the tiniest drop of his eyes, which could mean that he’s confused, sad, or disappointed. Maybe all.

“Oh, we’re not…” you exclaim, surprising yourself, to the amusement of Namjoon, who suddenly appears next to you. “I mean, Jungkook and I aren’t… a thing.”

You promptly remove the man’s arm from your shoulder and try to decipher Yoongi’s look now. Is it relief? Does he believe you? Does he think it’s silly that you had to clarify that, which you’re wondering why you did?

“Okay,” Yoongi says. 

Perhaps you’re wrong. You can’t tell right now what he’s feeling.

“We just… got to hanging out when I got drafted by the Thunders,” Jungkook now clarifies, which he quickly realizes is maybe making this awkward situation a lot worse. 

You’re Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend after all, and Jungkook had been the one to reach out to you when he moved to Seoul, but not once did he try to pursue you all these years. He respects his captain too much and cares for what you both had, which is why he maintained his friendship with you even after the breakup.  

“That’s nice to know,” Yoongi replies, his tone nonchalant like always.

He’s glad he can keep his cool that well, even if his heart was just about to explode at the thought of you possibly dating his friend. He doesn’t know why he cares, though, as he never really thought much about the so-called code that stated that exes were off-limits to friends. 

He’s just about to turn around when Namjoon calls out. “Min, you’re still going to the party, right?”

Yoongi looks at you, who promptly looks away. Up until 10 minutes ago, he was about 80% sure he would. He didn’t think that being in close proximity to you would make him remember all sorts of things, and that itself is enough for him to run for the hills and avoid you. He won’t claim he did his best to forget about you - he at least tried, and that still counts - but he didn’t expect he’d ever get a chance to be near you, much less talk to you and be in the same place as you. Again. 

But he looks at his friends’ eyes, both pairs unsure yet practically begging him to still go. He remembers these looks, and he swears it’s because he doesn’t want to let both of them down that he battles with the inner part of himself and decides to still go. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with somehow finding out for how long you’re staying, and why you’re here in the first place. 

“Yeah. I’ll see you guys there,” he replies, turning around now and heading towards his car on the opposite side of the parking lot. 

You watch Yoongi walk away, unsure of why your heart is beating as fast as it is. It had been like that since you saw him after hiding from the fans, and even more so when you walked silently in the hallway to head outside. 

You knew you were gonna see him, maybe even at the party, but not in the way you did. And all your confidence at not being bothered or affected with seeing him again melts away. 

You weren’t prepared for how good he’d look, for how concerned he’d be over your safety, and for that hint of disappointment on his face at the thought of you being with Jungkook. Neither were you prepared for that incredibly tiny part of you that wants to know how he’s doing and if he’d managed to piece together the broken parts of himself and his dream that he so adamantly chose over you.

You survive the car ride by glaring at Namjoon every time he starts teasing you about panicking over Yoongi thinking that you were dating Jungkook, while the latter curses as he drives, claiming he survived one of the scariest moments of his life. 

You arrive in Jungkook’s house in half an hour, a nice place he bought for himself because he said that Daegu will always be home for him. The sliding doors to the patio give it a spacious feel, and you see that a couple of his friends had already prepped the space, complete with beer kegs and beer pong tables, the way you remember they always used to party.      

The 3 of you spot Taehyung who greets you, and the 2 men next to you proceed to narrate what happened, to your best friend’s shock and amusement. You also fill all of them in with the first part of the story about Yoongi finding you as you hid away from the crowd.

“How… symbolic,” Namjoon hums. “You meet at a basketball court in Daegu after a game while you were hiding from fans because you’re such a bigtime actress now. I mean, it’s quite ironic. The universe is out to tease you or something.”

You agree, it is. It’s times like this when you wish you didn’t believe in fate and destiny because doing so would just give you false hope that you and Yoongi may be meant for more than just those 2 years together. And you absolutely hate it because you can’t fall into that trap of thinking that you’re meant for a happy ending that includes him. That ship sailed a long time ago - 6 years and about 5 partners later.

But as Yoongi enters the house, his bowed head turning up to search the area before daintily tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, you start to think that maybe that ship decided to turn back around and sail towards you once again. He briefly meets your eyes before someone calls out to him, and you’re left to admire him from afar, cute button nose and impeccable side profile and all. 

Taehyung pulls you by the arm and whispers in your ear. “Okay, so what’s our plan?”

“What do you mean, our plan?” You ask, realizing you’ve lost Yoongi as you glance in the direction of where he was, no longer finding him there. “Plan for what?”

“Yoongi, obviously,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Do we avoid him, be civil, pretend you don’t think about him anymore, or act like the past 8 years didn’t happen and we don’t actually know him?”

“None of the above,” you groan. “What kinds of options are those?”

“Decent ones?”

“Nope. You’ve already had a lot to drink and I don’t trust you when you’re drunk.”

“Except you should. This is when I don’t hold back when it comes to you,” Taehyung answers.

“And you hold back otherwise?” You frown. 

“Just when it’s about him. It was tough for a long time. I know sometimes it still is.”

You don’t have the heart to disagree. This man has been your best friend for a decade and he knows how you are, knows which pains of yours you’re willing to talk about and which ones you’d rather hide away. Your acting skills may be good but you know that Taehyung can see behind all the smiles and the detachment and the effort to look okay, and whatever it is he’s thinking, there’s a good chance he might be right. You’ve just never been brave enough to admit them. 

The look of understanding you both share gets disrupted when cheers erupt in the middle of the living room, seeing that Seungkwan had just beaten Jungkook in beer pong. The pro player demands a rematch and the entire house cheers in agreement. Jungkook takes the next game but Seungkwan won’t back down. 

“Let’s do it in pairs,” he challenges. “I take Joon.”

“Fine,” Jungkook says, his game face on, knowing there’s one other person he knows could win this with him. “I take the Captain.”

Cheers erupt once more as people push Yoongi to the center where the rest of the guys are. He shakes his head, seemingly uninterested in partaking in tonight’s festivities but goes anyway after much coaxing from everyone. He then does his handshake with Jungkook to the younger man���s insistence, and you watch Yoongi’s soft, shy smile appear. 

And just like the very first time you saw that, you feel your heart thrum in excitement. There was always something special about it, and back then it was because he rarely did it, but he did it a lot when he was with you. It’s nice to see it during a moment like this - surrounded by his old friends while having fun with them. You’re glad he shows more of it now, and you wonder how many people fell harder for him because of it. 

You watch from the sideline as the Jungkook-Yoongi pair score 4 straight. Seungkwan complains that Namjoon isn’t making any shots, prompting the older man to claim that he’s way better at dunking than shooting tiny balls like they’re jumpers. They eventually lose after all the theatrics but it’s enough to get the guests going, as you find yourself teasing both men as well. 

You remember their house parties being this rowdy and this loud, given all the energy and testosterone that these athletes had so much of. That obviously hasn’t changed, and despite all of them having grown up, looking all mature and much more respectable, the naughtiness remains, especially once they’ve had too much to drink. 

It’s why you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of the guys, asking for a photo with you to show off to their friends and families. 

“I’m showing this to the guys at the office,” Seungkwan announces as he gets your approval over the selfie picture he took of you both. “They’re not gonna believe I went to college with an actress.”

“Uh, I didn’t go to college with you,” you laugh along with the others. “I studied in Seoul.”

“Then how the fuck do we know you?” He exclaims, no doubt drunk out of his mind at this point. You remember him having a short-term memory every time.

“He’s the Captain’s ex, dumbo!” Soon-young reminds him, another one of the younger guys who hasn’t drank as much but was never good at knowing what not to say. “Remember the summer before his final year? She was with us all the time.”

“Oh right. They were inseparable and looked so in love,” Seungkwan giggles, and at this point, the rest of the people just go with what he’s saying. 

Not you though, neither does Yoongi, and neither does Namjoon, who slaps the back of Seungkwan’s head to loud-whisper that the ex-couple in question is right there.

“Shit, did they hear me?” Seungkwan wonders out loud and looks around before sipping his beer. “I meant it though.”

He laughs drunkenly, so do many others. There’s really only a handful of you who aren’t intoxicated, but right now you wish you were. 

“Wait, they’re both here?” Seungkwan recovers, eyes now glassy. 

He gasps when his gaze turns to you and then Yoongi, and he puts his arm over your shoulder and slightly drags you to the right so he could put his arm over Yoongi, too.

“I found them!” Seungkwan squeals, pushing both of you to face him. “Shit, you still look good together.”

“Alright, dude, that’s enough,” Namjoon finally steps in, pulling the inebriated man away. “Sorry,” he turns to you. “Don’t mind anything he said.”

Too late, you want to say, but you release an awkward laugh instead. 

“They haven’t changed since college, huh,” Yoongi says, surprising you. “They still put us on the spot then leave us to deal with the aftermath,” he continues, watching as the group disperses to go drink and chat again. 

You turn towards him and sigh in relief over the small smile he has on. You swear the tension was so thick earlier that you could cut it with a knife, but Yoongi doesn’t seem bothered. He looks calm like he always does, and just like those first few times, you take your cue from him. You try to release the tension from your body and smile. 

“They should be banned from drinking when there are ex-lovers in the building,” you chuckle. “But I’m pretty sure he’ll be apologizing to you like crazy once he’s sober. Wish I could see that.”

“I can’t wait for that, too,” Yoongi hums. 

A wave of silence envelopes you both. The sounds of your friends seem like white noise now, and with the background music on and the man next to you just sipping his drink, it’s oddly comforting. 

You learned long ago that he has this amazing ability to do that - make people around them feel calm. There’s something so reassuring about him that remarks about your past don’t faze him, and now that’s rubbing off on you, as you feel the awkwardness slowly melt away.

You and Yoongi stand by the couch while the world around you continues. You’d stay in this bubble with him if it wasn’t so familiar, only because the familiarity scares you a little. You don’t want to know if anything else feels the same.

“I’m gonna look for Tae,” you say, breaking the silence. 

You only need to look to your left at the sound of someone hooting to find your best friend downing another cup of some concoction, and by the sound of his laugh, you know this is the one that will do it for him. This is his point of no return. Anything he does after is not meant for many people to see; he has an image to protect, after all.

“Alright, that’s my cue,” you say, walking towards him. 

You cup Taehyung’s face in your hands and tell him that the party’s over and you’ll take him home. He argues, but you remind him that he’s a celebrity and that he can’t have drunk pictures of him circulating online. His inebriated mind sort of gets it, and you take him in your arms and start looking around, trying to see which of the guys are the most stable one to drive.

“How are you going home?”

“Uh…” you turn to face Yoongi. “One of… them? Jungkook, Wooz, Soon-young all offered.”

“And they’ve all had a lot to drink,” he replies.

“Who here hasn’t?” You chuckle, eyes still searching the room. You don’t want to ask your safest option, which is the man in front of you. You’re not quite sure how your heart can handle that. 

“Me,” he says so casually. “I just had one bottle.” 

You know what he means, even more when he goes to Taehyung’s side to help you assist your drunk best friend. Yoongi doesn’t say anything else though; he just stands there while waiting for your reply. This is about safety, you remind yourself, and it has nothing to do with suddenly wanting to be in his presence just a little longer.

“Okay,” you reply, knowing he knows what you mean, too.

“Okay.”

All three of you say goodbye to your friends, all of whom give you smug looks, passing up on the teasing now given Yoongi’s displeased face after someone remarks that “mom and dad are taking care of their kid again.” This isn’t a new scene for them, either. Taehyung just tends to have a lot of genuine fun when he’s with his friends; it’s something you relate with after being in the industry you’re in.

You and Yoongi help Taehyung in the backseat where you sit, with your best friend’s head securely on your lap because he’s now complaining of a migraine. Your designated driver starts the car shortly after he checks on both of you. 

“Neither of you took your cars?” He asks.

“Tae did but passed up on driving tonight,” you say. “I would’ve driven, had I known he won’t be able to control himself. I’m still waiting for my requested rental car.”

Yoongi merely hums and focuses on the road while you… well, while you sort of focus on him. Your position behind the passenger seat allows you a view from the side - from how his fingers drum the steering wheel to how he nibbles his lips. His eyes are focused on the road but you can tell he’s focused on both of you, too, with the way he turns to the back whenever Taehyung makes some garbled sound or just to ask you if you’re okay. 

You watched him do this so many times before with you next to him, holding his hand and kissing his cheek at every stoplight. For someone who loves music, he never put the radio on when he drove you. He said it allowed him to focus on you, and that memory isn’t one that you really want to think of right now, especially since it’s silent in the car. You don’t know which ones you’d rather remember, though - the good ones or the bad. You suppose either would hurt regardless, and this wasn’t something that you prepared for. 

You make it to your best friend’s house as you and Yoongi assist him to the gate to Mrs. Kim’s shock. She scolds a barely-awake Taehyung and apologizes profusely to Yoongi, who says she’s happy to see him in their home once again. As Mr. Kim takes his son up to his room, Yoongi turns to you and asks if you need a ride home.

“I’m sleeping over,” you say in a panic. “Someone’s got to take care of his drunk ass.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, briefly meeting your eyes before nodding towards his car. “I’ll go ahead. It was nice seeing you again, ___.”

They’re simple words that any old friend would tell another after seeing them in years, but somehow they hit you differently. This entire evening hasn’t been a dream or some made up scenario in your head where you meet the man you loved after so long. 

He’s here. With you. Looking at you in a way you’re very unfamiliar with - with a calmness in his eyes and a hint of care and acceptance, as if he’s glad you’re here but that he’s well aware of the years between you, of the years that passed by, of the years that changed you both. 

You don’t respond fast enough because before you know it, he’s turning around, ready to head out the door.

“It was nice seeing you, too, Yoongi,” you say softly. 

But he hears it, stops walking for a while, and then opens the door and walks out. 

You wonder if he’d said something the day you left, would you have stopped and turned around? Or would you have kept walking?  

But thinking about that won’t do you any good, so you turn away as well and head upstairs.

Outside, Yoongi steps on the gas, turns to the next corner, and then stops the car. He clasps his hands together so they’d stop shaking, and he lets himself breathe for the first time tonight. He’s kept his cool long enough, but after everything - the party, the teasing, the car ride - he doesn’t think he can hold the emotions in any longer, and he doesn’t even know what they are. 

Longing? Sadness? Regret? Is it the unspeakable feeling of fear at the thought of you dating one of his friends who might actually be good for you? Is it relief at the idea that letting you go was the best thing that he could’ve ever done for you? Is it confusion over wanting so badly to take you in his arms but not wanting to feel your touch, knowing it would remind him of everything he’s tried to forget? 

Yoongi lays his head on the headrest and takes a breath. You’re so beautiful, as if some light shines on you wherever you go. It’s probably the glow you emit; he’s told you that before but you always said he was just teasing. He sees it even more now. 

But it’s also the crinkle of your eyes when you smile that sweet smile of yours that makes things feel familiar, and because of that, uneasy. It’s that honey sound of your voice; he heard it as you laughed during the party and joked around with everyone. It’s that captivating look you have, the one that says you know something but you want to know more; he felt that look when he entered the house and as he drove you earlier. 

He wonders if you saw past him, past his nonchalance and calm demeanor. You were always so good at that - knowing there was more behind his passiveness, knowing how to get a reaction from him, knowing which buttons to push so he’d open up and let you in. 

He doesn’t know if he should be afraid that you still know how to do it, or if he should revel in it because he’s missed you, more than he could ever say and more than he’d ever care to admit. 

But beyond all that, he’s sure that one of his emotions is happiness. Every time you talked about work and being able to watch yourself on screen - he swears he didn’t eavesdrop but that he just happened to be there - there was that excitement that felt like the continuation from when you used to talk about your big dreams with him. 

You got what you wanted and you worked hard to get to where you are and he knows you’re proud of yourself and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Seeing that smile - he knows. Letting you go was the best thing he’s ever done for you.

“What are you doing here?”

Taehyung’s hoarse voice forces your eyes off the ceiling onto your side where he’s currently hugging his pillow, messy hair and pouty lips on display. 

“Trying to get some rest after I saved your drunk ass last night,” you bitterly respond. “I got to you before any compromising photos or videos were taken. You’re welcome.”

“Hmm, thanks,” he groans. “But uh, why are you here? Didn’t you say you wanted proper rest in your house before seeing your family today?”

“Right, uh… you see. Yoongi drove us here, and then he asked if I wanted a ride home but I kinda panicked and said I’m sleeping over so… Here I am!” You laugh, unconvincingly. “My rental car’s on the way here. I’ll drive to my house and then go to my dad’s.”

“Ugh, you’re so dumb,” he says, sinking into his comforter. You gasp in response. “That was your chance to be alone with him but you didn’t take the offer. We both know you wanted to.”

“Tae, being drunk and not holding anything back doesn’t mean you can just assume things like that,” you respond, sitting up and frowning at him. “I didn’t want to be alone with him, that’s why I’m here!”

“Why didn’t you want to be alone with him?” He answers back.

“Uhm, why would I want to?” You ask incredulously. “Since when was getting in a car alone with an ex ever a good idea?”

“Why? You’re afraid you’d kiss him if you did?”

You scowl at your best friend. “I should’ve left you there drunk with possible penis drawings on your face.”

“Just being honest. It’s not like you’ve never done that with him before,” he shrugs. 

“I hate you.”

“I know. But you’ll love me later on. At least I’m still half asleep.”

You push him awake, the stress heightening now as the previous night plays in your head. 

“Tae! What happened to my hi, goodbye plan?!” You groan. “I was literally just supposed to say hi and then be civil, like, acknowledge his presence but not be affected by it. But then we had some small talk and he drove us home.”

“We all know it was a denial plan,” he huffs. “It was bound to fail.”

“Gee, thanks. You’re being incredibly helpful right now,” you frown again. 

“Fine,” he grumbles, sitting now. “You had small talk, he drove you here. How are those affecting you and why are you making it a big deal?”

“I’m not making it a big deal,” you point out. 

“You kinda are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are because that’s how things started before. And you’re afraid that one small misstep will cause you to fall for him all over again, fast and hard, because that’s how you are when it comes to him.”

“You’re hungover and tired so your judgment is impaired,” you say, crossing your arms. “You remember what happened after all that. I’ll be perpetually grateful that you never pushed me to talk about it unless I was drunk and couldn’t remember things but I was heartbroken, Tae. And then I was numb. It took a while before I started to feel again.”

“I know,” he says, taking you in his arms now as he holds you like a baby - a rare occurrence, as this often happens the other way around. “And I can never fault you for it because even if it was like that summer fling that only happened in the movies, I know you loved him, genuinely and intensely, and a love like that stays with you. But he’s got a good life here, ___, and you’ve got an amazing one in Seoul. You just have to remember why it didn’t work out in the first place and make sure you don’t fall into that trap again. Just… acknowledge that. For your sake. And then do what you need to do so you don’t make the same mistakes again.”

Enveloped in his warmth, you take in your best friend’s words. He may still be hungover and may also be confused but his comfort never seizes, and it’s one of the reasons why you love him dearly. 

“So yeah, good on you I guess for not taking that ride with him. Maybe staying away and keeping your distance might be good,” he adds.

Your silence somehow alarms him, so he nudges you. “It’s a good idea, right?”

“I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like staying away and keeping my distance will let him know that it still affects me. He’ll always know me like that,” you sigh, hugging him tightly for more comfort. “And there’s this part of me that wants to show him that I’m fine, you know?  That even with everything that happened between us, I walked away from it knowing what I deserve, and that’s someone who’ll fight through life with me. He didn’t and that’s on him but he had his reasons, and looking back, maybe he was right. Maybe he had to let me go, and maybe - because I loved him genuinely and intensely - I want to show him that it wasn’t all in vain. And that I’m happy. Even without him.”

“You don’t need to prove anything to him, you know?”

Maybe I want to prove it to myself, you don’t say. There’s a stubbornness in you that doesn’t go away. 

“This isn’t about him, is it?” Taehyung levels his head with you. 

For someone hungover, he still knows you pretty well. 

You just sigh and fall back in his arms. He doesn’t push you. He just hugs you again until you both fall back in bed and he can comfortably curl his body all over you because it’s Taehyung and he likes to do this. 

“Just be careful, alright?” He pleads. 

“You know I also kinda don’t have a choice,” you reply. “It’s a small town and we’re bound to see each other. Jungkook and Namjoon have a game here again in a few weeks and that means another get together.”

“Yeah, but you know what I mean.”

You hum. “Promise me you’ll be by my side whatever happens?”

“Always, you stubborn woman. I’m the one person who’ll never leave you even if you push me away.”

The lunch with your family is how you expect it to go - with your older sisters making some backhanded comments about your fame and how you’ve been “too busy” to even visit, and your father trying to dissolve the tension. He’s at least genuinely curious about how you’ve been, asking if you’re eating well and getting enough rest. Your stepmom raves about your drama series and shares that she cried during the finale.

“Why did he have to go back to his planet?” Garam’s 7-year old asks after your stepmom narrates what happened. 

“His time on earth was up,” you explain. “He finished his mission and he had to leave.”

“But why didn’t he stay if he was happy?” 

“Because he had a responsibility in his home,” you smile. “He wasn’t made for this world.”

“He didn’t have a choice, sweetie,” Garam adds after her daughter comments that it was sad. “That’s understandable. Some people leave because they’re no longer happy with those around them. Or because their dreams are more important than those they supposedly love. Isn’t that sadder?”

“It is. Don’t leave me, Mama,” the little one pouts.

“Oh sweetie, I never will. I don’t leave people that I love,” Garam responds, glancing at you to make a statement. 

You zone out after that, not wanting to engage with your sisters anymore. You play with their kids, though, who get excited when they see you on TV. You don’t want to treat them like you hold a grudge against them even if you do so with their mothers. Your sisters continue to do that with you - resent you when it’s your mom they’re really angry at for leaving your already unhappy family after she got her dream job in Paris. You were never angry though but you did sort of follow in her footsteps, and your sisters hated you even more because of that. 

“Are you staying for dinner?” Your father asks, the hope in his eyes hurting you. 

Things weren’t going well with your parents for a while, giving your mom more reason to leave, but you always wished that he had done more for you to feel loved in the home that started to become toxic after it fell apart, but you suppose he was just trying to heal his own broken heart after his wife left. It felt like your sisters weren’t going to forgive you when you decided to leave yourself, and he just let you walk away without making sure you knew he still loved you despite your decision. 

He’s moved on now, though, and happy with someone who prioritizes him and his needs. But too much time and distance can pull people apart - you can see them without the desire of being with them. That’s the reality with you and him now and there’s not much you can do about it. 

“No, I’ve got other plans,” you respond, glancing at your sisters who return your look with bitterness. “I’ll see you at grandpa’s tomorrow.”

You drive around for half an hour with no destination in mind. It’s nice to see how much this place has changed and discover which parts of it still feel the same. 

You pass by an antique shop - the antique shop,  a generations-old family-run store that used to be the hub of imported furniture that the townspeople once flocked to. It’s now a speciality store that still sells one-of-a-kind items but it also refurbishes old pieces. You see a poster on the window that’s promoting woodworking workshops. You won’t be surprised to find out whose idea that was.

A man briefly exits, and you stop near the front, wanting to just take it in. He’s got more gray hair now and walks a little slower but he looks just like you remembered - soft crinkled eyes, comforting smile, a look that you know all too well. You decide to enter, as you’re desperate for something - anything - that feels more like home than the one you just came from. 

“May I help you?” The man asks.

“A greeting and a hug would do,” you look up at him and smile.

“___?!” He gasps, walking outside the counter to get closer to you. “Is that really you, my dear?”

“Yes it is, Mr. Min,” you smile, returning the hug that you requested. “Just passing by my favorite antique shop in town. How are you doing?”

“Great! Business is stable and I’ve still got a lot of fight in me to continue,” he chuckles. “How about you? The big city treating you good?”

“It is,” you reply. “I think I’m doing quite okay there.”

“Ah, well it should be treating you amazingly. That’s what you deserve.”

You continue the conversation, with you asking about his latest projects and him, talking about his furniture and wood like his children, pride laced in his voice every time. He asks you about your latest series and if you’ve met his favorite actors and you indulge him. His laughter is music to your ears. You remember spending time here where he worked on his pieces while you talked about your favorite movies.

“Does my son know you’re here?” He asks after a beat of silence. 

“He does. I saw him last night. He looks well.”

“He does, doesn’t he? It took a while but he’s doing much better than before - smiling, joking around, helping me at the shop, talking about basketball again. It’s nice to see.”

The words hit you in ways you didn’t expect. Breaking up with Yoongi was tough to get over. Those last few months had been incredibly hard and so many times you thought that maybe if you’d been more patient, maybe things would’ve turned out differently. 

But you remember how during those last days with him, he’d lost the glimmer in his eyes and the softness of his smile. Not even you could bring those back. His passion for things just dwindled; he stopped wanting more, stopped wanting you, stopped thinking that things could still work out for him after what he suffered through. 

You’d kept in touch with Namjoon and Jungkook at their insistence, and they’d been the one to update you on how Yoongi was doing. Not a lot of details but just general things like the jobs he took and that he was keeping himself busy and that he was trying to get back on the court. It wasn’t with unpleasant stories, though - you learned about his new girlfriend from them, and that he didn’t play basketball for awhile, and that during the toughest days, he considered giving it up altogether. 

You knew he’d done well. You learned that from the guys, too. But hearing it from his father is different; you can’t imagine how it must’ve been like for Mr. Min to see his son start to change from what he used to be. But you know that as the good father that he is, he made sure that Yoongi knew he wasn’t alone. 

“And that’s good to hear,” you say. “Yoongi deserves all the happiness this world can give. I’m glad that he’s found his joy in basketball again it seems. And that he found it here.”

“He has, but I guess something will always be missing. He’s a lot better but he’s not the same. A parent would know, you know? The flame doesn’t shine as bright,” Mr. Min answers, the tinge of sadness in his eyes hurting you a little. 

But you just nod. His words seem to mean more but you don’t want to know what it is. 

“Dad, what did you want me to look at?”

Yoongi’s voice echoes in the shop and you can’t help but turn to him who’s just entered and looks as shocked as his father was earlier. 

You have a soft smile on, and Mr. Min knows not to intervene. 

“Oh, nothing,” he says, thinking that the new wood he acquired could wait. “Just watch over the counter for me while I check something inside, alright Son?”

He doesn’t let the younger man answer and just heads to the back, leaving you and Yoongi alone. He walks closer but keeps his distance. It’s enough for you to appreciate the softness of his face, though. His presence had always been reassuring; you see him twice and you’ve felt more comfort with him than you have in months. You don’t know how he does it, but that shouldn’t surprise you anymore. This isn’t the first time anyway. 

“Is Taehyung alright?” He breaks the silence. 

“Recovering, but more from his parents giving him shit for drinking too much,” you chuckle. “He got an earful and Mrs. Kim said she won’t let him in the house next time he gets that drunk. He’s doing chores as punishment.”

“Ah, well it’s been a while. It was nice to spend time with everyone again.”

“It was,” you smile now. 

“And you? Are you okay?” He asks, sincerity laced in his low voice.

“Yeah, of course.”

It’s the hesitant nod and the way your eyes look at anything but him, and he knows that whatever happened after last night is something you want to forget or seek comfort for. So he asks.

“So what made you come here? To the shop, I mean.”

“I was driving around. It didn’t register to me right away that I was in the area,” you respond. “And this place was always so calming for me, you know? The smell of wood, your dad’s stories…” 

You. 

“So I thought I’d come in”, you continue. “He hasn’t changed. It’s nice to see him.”

Yoongi always wondered what parts of you remained the same and which parts didn’t. 

Perhaps the playfulness tempered a bit. You seem a little more anxious than he remembers, too. There’s this sophistication about you that was always too good for this small town, and he sees that even more now. Your smile is still soft but it isn’t as bright. He won’t deny that it still makes his heart race, though. 

You have a habit of going somewhere familiar to seek comfort. You always looked for it in places, he noticed - in that dingy convenience store near your school, in your town’s secondhand bookstore even if you don’t like reading, in the Opera House where you and your mom used to go to. Yoongi learns now that that hasn’t changed at all. You’re in his dad’s store, a place you always wanted to go to after spending time with your family, and he supposes that’s where you came from.

He doesn’t know if he’s still someone you find comfort in and he doesn’t know if you even want to spend time with him after all these years, but he doesn’t have the heart to just let you walk out of here not knowing if you’re truly okay. 

He hated leaving you alone then when things weren’t good. You didn’t always want to talk but you said once that just hearing him breathing on the other end of the phone or just having his hand over yours made you feel better. He may not be the right person now but he’s still someone, and that’s always better than no one.

You eye the door, ready to leave, but his call of your name prompts you to look back at him.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” He asks.

“No, not really,” you reply. 

“Would you like to grab some coffee?”

The words are familiar. You hate that you remember everything about it.

“Just coffee?” You ask, almost teasingly.

He chuckles softly and meets your eyes, and somehow a part of you thinks that you shouldn’t do this. But you’re glad he asked in the first place.

“Yes, ___. Just coffee.”

Series Masterlist

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[peekawoocc]

LAW X READER

P.s. decided randomly to make a part 2. There's prob gonna be 2 more parts. I'm already in the middle of writing part 3. To be honest, this feels more like part 1.5 instead of part 2, but oh well.

Cw: nothing really, this has fluff and just transitional plot between parts 1 and 3.

(And yes, true to theme there will be a cockblocking element in each part lol. The cockblocking in this is really just interrupted sleep.)

Cockblocked in Wano pt.2

You faintly come to your senses, feeling heat radiating your face. Sunlight.

As you yawned and rubbed away the sleepiness from your eyes you began to sit up. Until you felt something keeping you firmly laid down. The sunlight wasn't the only warmth lingering on your skin.

Looking to the thing keeping you bound to the firm ground you saw quite a beautiful sight.

Law looked like he was having the best sleep of his life. Little did you know, it was indeed the best sleep he's had in a while.

You watched the rise and fall of his chest as he slept, a little bit of drool on the corner of his lips. You quietly giggled to yourself and pecked a few kisses to his forehead and cheeks. You could stay like this forever. Maybe being his wife would be better than only pretending. Admiring the peaceful bliss on his face quickly came to a halt as the door to the makeshift house opened quickly and loudly. You and Law both shot up quickly, just to be met with Usopp's disapproving gaze. He looked like a dissapointed father. Sanji and Franky behind him, both of them with their jaws on the floor.

"Are you kidding me, y/n? Seriously?", Usopp said in an annoyed tone.

"What?" You asked innocently.

Usopp quickly grabbed you and pulled you to the side to whisper to you.

"So even after my reasonable warnings, you went ahead and slept with the biggest nerd in Wano last night?"

"HEY! I HEARD THAT!" Law interjected, the once peaceful expression covered in newfound aggravation.

You blushed at the word "slept" Usopp had spoken.

"Wait...WAIT! YOU DIDNT...DID YOU!?!" Usopp began, looking between your flustered face, Law, and the matching kimonos you were suddenly wearing.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY PRINCESS!?!" Sanji yelled, putting the clues together as he started grabbing Law's kimono and yanking him up off the ground.

"CALM DOWN! HER KIMONO GOT DIRTY! I HAD A SPARE ONE!" Law began, trying to save both your asses. Which would have been fine but you knew Law wouldn't lie, so you knew you needed to come up with yet another excuse.

Time to play lawyer again.

It's not that you were ashamed of what you had done together, but you couldn't deny that he'd much rather not have to deal with all of this first thing in the morning. You didn't want to lie to your crewmates, but you definitely didnt want to catch more hell than you already had. Especially when your newfound romance had just began.

"OH YEAH? WHY WAS HER KIMONO DIRTY, HUH?" Sanji asked looking like he was ready to kill Law, more angry with the tattooed man than he had ever been. Even with Zoro.

"Look...those stupid seeds Usohaci left for me went off for some reason. And it directly covered me, so Law offered to clean me up and give me his other kimono," you began, hoping they'd buy it. But as you paused they all stared at you, expectantly waiting for you to continue.

"He was being helpful to me in my time of need," you then looked to Usopp, "and he was there for me at a very vulnerable moment when I really needed him,".

See, he is trustworthy Usopp!

"Oh yeahhhh, then where's your 'dirty' kimono now?" Usopp said in a mocking tone, thinking he'd caught you in a lie.

"It went *poof*," you said expressing the action with hand motions. Which was completely true, because when you remove the clothing kinemon gives you, it poofs back into whatever inanimate object it originally was.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that was a thing with Kinemons power," Usopp said the gears turning in his head, turning in your favor of getting the 3 men off your case.

"Wait, but what about those marks on your neck? Are those...*gasp* HICKIES!?!" Usopp said, bewildered and you could see the electricity in the glare Law and Sanji held.

"No no no...the surprise of the seeds going off made me fall...and my neck just happened to land on some rocks...," you had nothing. However, Sanji seemed convinced.

Sanji sighed and dropped his hold on Law. Usopp just shrugged. If Sanji believed you why shouldn't Usopp follow suit?

"Well, thank you for taking care of our sweet lady. I respect you more, for what it's worth," Sanji said calmly as he lit a cigarette.

"Wish I could saw the same for some you damn straw hats," Law glared at Sanji.

"Well, regardless, I think its cute," Franky finally including himself in the conversation.

Everyone raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, you know, because y/n is pretending to be Traffy-dude's wife... and they're wearing matching kimonos. It's starting to look more legit," Franky grinned.

Just when you had gone through so much trouble to make your face deadpan to lie to your crewmates, here you were with a strong red blush on your face. While you were in your head finally realizing that everyone was going to see you and Law in matching kimonos, Sanjis expression turned depressed and Usopp palmed his face in dissapointment of how easily your face gave you away. Making your feelings ever more apparent to your crewmates.

As you glanced among the men, you could've of sworn you saw Law blush, even for just a moment.

You brought your hair to one side of your neck, realizing that you needed to hide Laws marks. This was going to be embarrassing enough.

[kae-eee]

charming sibling yap session bc im obsessed

apple forced daring to have playground weddings with her but she never let it get to the kiss

she said that that part should be saved for when he wakes her up

i think raven has had at least a little crush on darling sometime before dexter

darling absolutely had a crush on cerise

i also think darling may have romanticized the idea of apple but never did really like her

daring and rosabella qpr??

i understand him as aroace but her as straight so is that a thing she can do? idk

heres where the real yapping starts

darling really and truly resented her brothers at some level for such a long time

daring much more so than dexter

imagine living your whole life watching two brothers constantly being trained for everything that you want to do and be in life

one of them, your twin who you share everything but a “purpose” with, doesn’t even want it

you’d probably give anything to take his generic prince charming destiny

he’d probably like to switch with you too.

it’s not his fault and you would never hate him for it, but it’s gotta hurt.

your other brother seems to really love his destiny of saving princesses and slaying dragons, and being the most handsome prince in ever after, mostly because he loves himself and that’s all he really is

he couldn’t give a shit about loving or caring for his princess, but you would.

you would pick flowers for your princess, sing her songs and fight for her honor, not just your own

you would be a better prince than he could ever be

you really can’t hate him for that either, he was born into it and you weren’t, it’s not his fault.

when it’s time for his destiny to play out you sit back and watch and still kind of wish it was you even though you’ve found a purpose in being the white knight

blah blah blah dappling kiss goes on

now it’s his turn to resent you and wish he was you because you took his purpose, his destiny, really his life away

but it’s not your fault either.

end of that spiel

not a single one of them is cisgender i just know it

i don’t think that darling really has any feelings for apple

my reason behind this is that huntlynn are clearly in love, but they aren’t destined true lovers

so clearly your destined true love and your hearts desires don’t have to agree

anyway the destiny system is bullshit and im an applebeauty/darling x anyone else really truther

maybe dexters destiny was prince siegfried

i know the go to fandom headcannon is that he’s ashlynns prince but i feel like siegfried fits him more

correct me if im wrong ive never read swan lake

i really love a good transfemme daring headcannon

once someone tagged my post saying we should call her dearest or something else i cant remember but it was cute as hell

but just think about transfemme daring seriously for a second

daring canonically has so little identity outside of being snow whites prince charming

she has insane expectations placed on her to be the bravest, kindest, most handsome prince in ever after

shes obsessed with mirrors

but deep down she really does hate how she looks

after epic winter i think she would start to figure herself out and even post transition she wouldn’t let herself become that vain again

i sort of think dexter would be into dancing

he has fully recorded and edited videos of him doing a dance routine but is too scared to post it

[queer-flesh-simulacrum]

Ok I'll shut up about Lisa Frankenstein for a while after this, but like

Never Have I Ever seen transmasculine coding or representation done so exactly to my specifications. It's subtextual, but obvious enough to make me feel like the creators of the movie knew what they were doing. First of all the trope of the reanimated creature that has to assemble its body piece by piece as it learns how to get back in touch with its own soul or develop humanity is also just extremely trans (see Susan Stryker's My Words to Viktor Frankenstein... for more) and I've identified with it pretty hard throughout my own transition. The undead victorian boy aesthetic is also generally beloved by transmascs so there's that.

There's never a time when the creature or anyone else informs the audience of the trans experience in that immersion breaking way that so many pieces of media do when they try and take The Trans Experience seriously (usually by making the character tragic or by making them a walking educational pamphlet). To be fair I've only ever seen this problem come up when a character is explicitly trans, I think this is why coding can be more conducive to satisfying representation. I like that the dicklessness reveal was at the end of the movie and it didn't change the character or even the way Lisa saw him at all really. Like it wasn't even surprising because he was missing other parts as well.

He comes out of the closet (literally) during the makeover montage wearing women's clothing once or twice and there's something about Lisa's reaction to it and the creature's reaction to her reaction that feels very relatable. After he cuts the crush's dick off you kind of expect that he wants it sewed onto him because that's the pattern the movie established with body parts.

He was missing a hand and you find out that he wanted it back because he loved to play the piano in his previous life (other people have made posts that go into how his choice of body parts and specifically who he takes them from are significant for Lisa which I recommend checking out). Even if he had a dick before in life, with the knowledge about why he wanted the hand back it just made me think that having male genetalia to him was similarly significant to his character. Like sure it's for having sex with Lisa which is important to him because he loves her, and most cis men would want to have their dicks back if they lost them, but idk I felt seen.

I don't think I've ever seen evidence that a character is transmasc in any piece of media that was both so well incorporated thematically and so on the nose at the same time. It matters to me 🖤

[couldtransitionsaveher]

HAU from POKÉMON SUN AND MOON

JUSTIFICATION:

"Hau is so sweet and so nice and she has had a very special place in my heart ever since i first played sun and moon. Her bulbapedia page describes her as 'big-hearted' and loves pokemon, pokemon battling (which she does mostly for fun but learns to take things more seriously when they need to be) and food! She generally kinda does whatever she wants and still is silly even when people (like Gladion in their first meeting) try to make her feel bad about it. Like i said, i've adored her for years but my trans headcannon/reading is a lot more recent, but now i will never un-see it. (also my trans headcannon for her and my autistic headcannon for her are holding hands in my brain so if it ever feels like this is also a autistic reading of her character you're not wrong.)

Everyone sees Hau as just different, a tad off in some way or another, she has the exceptions of fallowing her grandfather's path but all she really wants to do is make people happy. Her grandfather is a very important member in their community, he's a jolly old man but can be pretty intense. He specializes in fighting types and his own son (Hau's dad) ran off to avoid Hala's exceptions for him. to directly quote bulbapedia: "One of the villagers in Iki Town, where they live, comments that as a [girl], Hau had once witnessed Hala in a rage, which frightened [her] to the point of tears. Nothing Hala did could comfort [her], which he claims is the reason why Hala is "too soft" on Hau".

It's also said that she basically never cries, which is interesting to me. Like she's not any kind of masculine ideal or whatever but i feel like she was exposed to a bit of that 'boys don't cry' idea indirectly. The one time we see her cry is at the very end of sun and moon when her friend (and implied crush) Lillie is going away to have her own adventure. Hau says that she hasn't said everything she wanted to tell her and that she's going to write her a really long letter. This was the biggest fictional lesbian moment of 2016 for me. I don't know how anyone can think she's a straight cis boy after that and i still think about this moment all the time.

I personally read this all as Hau, who loves her family and her community, is given exceptions that on some level she can not handle. To stop being that happy-go-lucky, to stop being too 'soft', to stop the way she is inherently. The ideal end to her arc and story is her realizing that she needs to stop living up to expectations that others give her and finding her own meaning to her life and who she wants to be, and personally i think she would find out that she wants to transition. Thank you and good night." - @pigeon-wizard

Reminder: Submissions are always open! Submit here!

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[outtathisbinary]

I want to start this off with some validation for my nonbinary audience. You are so valid, no matter how much you transition socially or medically. I know personally the discrimination you can face even without medical transitioning. I understand, and I'm here for you.

Leftists or left-leaning people are not going to make it through these next four years if we cannot stop the in-fighting and recognize nuance.

This whole debate I've seen about trans people who medically transition being the ones who face discrimination & not medically transitioning being a privilege seems (from the multiple posts I've seen on it) to really lack nuance and perspective.

There's no doubt that people who medically transition frequently face discrimination and can face more severe discrimination than others.

At the same time, I need people to know that even socially transitioning can put people at risk. It put me at risk, and I experienced physical violence for socially transitioning.

There are trans people (including nonbinary) who live in seriously backward places. I am one of them. I have not done any medical procedures, taken any hormones, or anything medical at all to transition. I use to present more "queer", playing with gender presentation, sometimes to the point of appearing "masculine". After multiple times of being harassed, I was threatened with a gun & knew I had to stop. All while never medically changing anything about myself. Of course, I'm not ignorant. I cannot imagine what it would be like for a black, visibly trans woman in my area. At the same time, that's why there aren't trans people here. The few trans people I've made connections with have left this area. When I tried to inquire about medically transitioning, no one knew what I was talking about. Even just asking about hormones, I was constantly transferred to womens' clinics with no notice because it was assumed I was a woman in need of more estrogen. When I tried to get a trans inclusive doctor, I was immediately medically marked as "female-to-male transgender". This doctor refused to hear me out about being nonbinary, tried to force me to take hormones, and when I rejected those hormones, he sent my prescription for birth control to a women's clinic (after he said he'd handle that scrip for me). After this, he even deflected my appointments to urgent care. Until recently, I had that female-to-male diagnosis on my patient chart. It was also stated I used he/him pronouns (not accurate, but still some trans visibility in my medical docs). Not a single medical professional in 7 years ever acknowledged that. The gynecologist didn't, nurses didn't, front desk attendants didn't, ER workers didn't, etc. I didn't even think that sort of thing was on my chart since no one ever acted like it was there.

This area is so bad, and it's only gotten worse under trump, that I've gotten to the point that I told my new doctor I was lying about being trans. That I was confused. Now, my female-to-male diagnosis is "resolved".

All I've been able to do is change my name. I can't mess with my presentation. People here (even so called leftists) have misgendered me because of my lack of medical transitioning or "looking like a woman".

While I'm not at all debating that trans people who are visibly trans face more discrimination, I also want these kinds of struggles and trans people to be seen. I wake up every day and have to be okay with both the fact that medically I can't transition even if I wanted to, and I can't even play with my gender presentation because it's so unsafe.

I wake up every day and am seen as someone I'm not, gendered as someone I'm not, with conversations and expectations happening around those ideas.

This can and does keep me safer than I was when I looked "queer". It also makes me feel so invisible and unseen. It's miserable being "stealth". There's privilege in that stealth, but it's also extremely damaging for the trans person who's hiding. I thought "I Saw the TV Glow" made it clear how much it hurts to not be your genuine self. That can and does apply to nonbinary people too. I hope the trans community as a whole isn't forgetting these things, or even overlooking them, while discussing trans-based discrimination.

Please remember to be kind. We've got a lot of pain ahead of all of us in these 4 years (and probably beyond, sadly).

[gorbalsvampire]

If you were redesigning Blood Sorcery, what would its central schtick be? What makes it potentially unique and interesting, and not just a swiss army knife? (I'd argue Thinblood Alchemy is maybe a more interesting and balanced fill for that total versatility niche.)

Hm!

So, I actually kinda like the core Discipline as it exists in V5. The art of discovering truths about someone through their Blood, or manipulating the Blood directly, or turning the Blood into a weapon or a message? That shit rips. That is a good time.

I'd move Scour Secrets into Auspex (seriously, what the shit is it doing here?) and I'm turning Koldunic Sorcery over and over in my hands - it's a botch job, but the net effect works, you take that and then your upper levels are things like Visceral Absorbtion and Transitive Bond, there's a Tzimisce-sorcerer route through the Discipline and it does hold together now that i think about it. It's fine.

I think a good Discipline is one where you can cross the streams, but it's also apparent what the streams are. Blood Sorcery is a good Discipline, it has archetypal routes through for your stereotypical Tremere and Banu Haqim and Tzimisce but also space for you to push sideways and create characters who have leant this way or that.

Digression: Oblivion is a bad Discipline, largely because it has four pathways between two clans and is trying to cover two historically separate applications of mysticism and ceremony while also remaining as faithful as it can to every depiction of them that's ever existed, because it's a Dawkins design and he can't not include something that's canon. Great concept, but indulgent execution. Someone needed to say no.

But then we get into Rituals, and that's where the bloat kicks in. Niche protection? What niche protection? Haven't you heard, we're Tremere!

I think each Ritual needs to be interrogated. Ask it what it's for. Why does it exist at the level it exists? What is Clinging of the Insect for? We have Potence and Celerity powers for that. Splash another Discipline, you cowards, this is worth more than 3 XP and some bug juice.

What is Blood Walk for? Why is it not a critical effect on Taste for Blood, the mainline power that's its obvious prerequisite? This is stupid. Merge them.

What is Wake With Evening's Freshness for? Why do Tremere get to do this, for cheap? Get rid of it.

Do that, and pare the Rituals right down to the ones like Enrich the Blood, Herd Ward, Calix Secretus, the ones that are clearly derived from actual Blood manipulation. To be honest, the Oblivion notion of prerequisite powers is a good one, and if you can't think of a good prerequisite power, chances are you don't have a good Ritual - you have an Ars Magicka wizard spell that nobody's had the spine to delete.

I've said before and I'm saying now that I prefer Tremere as alchemists to Tremere as mages from Ars Magicka backformed into mages from Mage. It shucks off a lot of baggage, it makes them a self-contained Vampire concept (this is a problem I also have with the Giovanni, to be entirely fair), and - in the context of this ask - it also creates some cool parallels with the thin-bloods, the Duskborn of the here and now. Tremere looks to Thin-blood: as you are, we once were. As we are, you are not allowed to be. No wonder Tremere invented the practice of branding the little shits.

I do agree that being a hyperflexible little multi-tool, manifesting semi-random powers from Resonances and cultivating specific counterfeits with Alchemy, is a really good niche for Thin-Bloods to occupy. The Revised era version - "vampire from clan, but shittier" - had no appeal outside of specific metaplot-hugging or masochistic playstyles. The V5 version is exciting. People should play them, and want to play them.

That said, I have some beef - specifically, a Thin-Blood who lives long enough and plays with other clans erodes niche protection by being able to counterfeit most Disciplines a PC from another clan can bring to the table, "anything you can do I can do" kind of deal. Level 5 is off the table, but how many PCs are getting level 5 powers at the standard rate of XP gain? Blood Potency is a counterbalance and if you bother to implement its rules all the way across (the rerolls are super important) I do think it works as a balance, but this isn't about what works. It's about the feeling of having your special snowflake power, and yours, and yours, all available to this one character.

I think I'd get rid of Counterfeit Discipline, as a thing: you can curate low level powers from feeding, and you have unique Alchemy effects, and that's enough, actually.

[harlequinoccult]

i am back w more rants this time abt one of my other characters (hopefully this one will be shorter, ik you say you dont mind but i feel bad every time i go to check in on your blog and i have to scroll past the multiple bibles i sent you... so im sending even more bibles to you-)

her name is Willow "Heartbreak" Bark. she wears a pink, white and gold venetian mask and her weapon of choice is brass knuckles. her specialty is bait and she thought that going out to the middle of the forest wearing a mini skirt and a crop top was a good idea. i am starting by listing her in-game characteristics because i truly don't know how to properly introduce Willow and all the shitshow that goes on with her-

unlike Ariel, Wills actually fits perfectly well in the slsq universe and i think that should say smth abt her character right away. honestly adapting her to fit into the story was the easiest thing ever because this is exactly the kind of shit she would get herself into.

she's a trans woman who grew up on the US somewhere south (i am not american and know just as much abt american geography as i do abt british geography), which is only important bc she has a subtle southern american accent, and despite Newcreed not having a set location i am going to say for plot purposes it is not located on the south in Willow's timeline. anyway

she's a country girl! born to a middle-to-high class family that owned a big estate with all the things a farm usually has (cattle, horses, fields, crops, etc). they had workers to help take care of everything, but the kids were encouraged to help with chores and learn some husbandry as a way to "build character". her parents were an extremely conservative bunch, and their parenting mainly consisted of being distant and pretending their kids didn't exist until they were useful for them, which for Willow specifically meant that she started developing people pleasing tendencies and a never ending quest for approval pretty early on in life.

Wills learns that she's beautiful at quite the young age. she also learns that using that beauty for her benefit is quite easy to do, that flattery and emotional bonds, no matter how fake, would get her far. and if she can play the victim well enough when she does something wrong, she'll be able to get away with it.

personality-wise, Willow has always been charismatic. a bit of a flatterer, a bit of a jokester, a lot of confidence and an extreme flirt. seriously, this woman will flirt w anything that has the ability to consent. if you have pants, she's trying to get in them. and sometimes it's even genuine! ...she mostly uses it as a manipulation tactic tho. i mean, there's no reason it can't be both! (im always so excited for playing as Willow bc she always ends up w the MESSIEST relationship stat screens. i can't wait to see how that translates into slsq)

in her teen years, she was picked on a lot for being "feminine" and having mostly girl friends (at the time, she still thought she was cis), despite being a jock and considered quite popular. she was also the one "guy" who had gone out w the most girls of the entire school. even back then, Wills was already considered a heartbreaker, someone who couldn't stay in a relationship for more than 2 months (spoilers: that doesn't change and probably only gets worse as she gets older).

it's not until her late teens that she starts really questioning her gender, and the reason it happens is because she gets drunk and finally sleeps w "another" man for the first time. from there, everything starts going downhill. she goes through a difficult period of self-discovery and coming to therms w her gender and her sexuality. when she finally begins to transition, her parents become suddenly extremely invested in her personal life in a way they hadn't ever been before. 

they threaten to disown her if she starts HRT. so she hangs her head, cries, and promises she would  never do smth like that.

one day her parents wake up to the fire alarm going off. Willow's bedroom had catched on fire, with her most important belongings missing, one of their best trucks gone from the garage and their bank account sucked dry.

they never saw Willow again.

running away like that was... maybe not the best idea Wills ever had. like every major decision she makes in her life, it was done on impulse, driven by pure rage, with no backup plan and a half baked, somehow extremely well executed idea, that sustained her on pure luck and adrenaline for the years that followed. 

her parents were pissed. maybe setting the house on fire was overkill, maybe they actually loved her after all and didn't want her gone, but it most likely was because of the thousands of dollars that suddenly went missing that made them so invested in trying to catch her and bring her back.

how did she get her hands on that much money so suddenly without anyone noticing until it was too late? great question! short answer: not important, what matters is she did. long non-answer: Willow's major skill has always been networking. she's very good at meeting people and charming people and getting them on her side, asking favors and having them do what she wants. would she have known how to transfer so much money without getting caught? hell no! but she definitely knows someone who would.

for a few years, life was a bit of a struggle. a lot of running away until she finally managed to change her name and appearance to something that would fit her best, and throw off the cops at the same time. honestly, her ending up in Newcreed is no coincidence. she knew she wouldn't be bothered there.

her meeting Carter is also not a surprise in the least. remember when i said one of her major skills is networking? someone like Carter could turn out to be very useful at some point. that makes him worthy of adding to her never ending contact list.

she worked as a stripper and sex worker for a while, when her parent's stolen money started to run dry. a very important thing to know abt Willow is that she's a party girl. she likes to have fun. she loves sex and drugs and alcohol, she's not squeamish and she knows "fun" can be made up of many different things, but it's always better when there's a little risk involved, isn't it? until one day she parties a little too close to the sun.

gambling is very fun, you see, and also happens to give her a chance to earn even more money if she gets lucky, and Willow has always been quite lucky. she's not afraid to take risks, she's not afraid to jump into things headfirst, she's definitely not afraid to commit to things with no backup plan and deal with the consequences later.

and that's how she ends up in crippling debt.

(1/2)

-🦊

(pt 1)

[turtle--soup]

Next Mutation ramblings under the cut:

Monkey Man is back

Episode 11 stream of consciousness liveblogging first...

--

"Poof. No mowah dowah baws." Honestly I would kill to play one of these henchmen, they must have had the best time.

Oh, I see where this is going...

Mikey found a peanut. Cute that he's excited enough to sing a song about that

Is that Fruit Loops with Red Bull? Bro.

If I ever win the lottery I am also going to yell MEGA SHELLAAAAAGE. I do not play the lottery.

"It's really gross in heeyuh"

"I can buy a jet plane! I can buy TEN jet planes!" Bro gonna set up his own airline

"You're scaring our roaches" Finally a Raph who likes bugs!

Of course Raph would buy more motorbikes. But would they be as sexy and cool as the one he already has? I think every Raph should have a motorbike. I never ship Raph with anyone but I kinda ship NM Raph with his bike

FunKEE MunKEE

"Stop monkeyin' around" - of course, of course. The puns 👌

Yeah, stop calling him greenie. You can do better than that surely?

They have satin boxers? Yeesh. 🤢

"Muhayy name's not greenaaayyyy" Calm down Leo

I love the sad music in the background being overlaid with the cartoon 'boink!' 'splat!' sound effects

"I got beat by four guys with no pants!" Dude now you know why Shredder was so pissed off all the time

This Splinter is so crabby

I can't believe nobody is arguing that they should get the ticket back because

a) Silver might spend it on doing nefarious bad guy stuff, and/or

b) it belongs to an innocent person??

Bionic smoothophonic?????? Were the scriptwriters paid by how many words they could make up?

Groovalicious! Excellente!

GROOVY WOOVY BABY???!?! wtf Raph bro are you OK?

Ah, the bike. And the jeep. But mostly the cool bike. It's so cool. Look at it. It's so cool. LOOK. HE HAS A BIKE!

Yeah no seriously I get it but I am so confused that they're all 'yeah money though 🤑' like... completely. It seems so wrong for there to be such little push back. Venus kind of tried but... yeah, I expect there to be more moral undertone in my turtles - especially if it's going to be this cartoony.

His staff is a net launcher? Nice.

Love that the walls in Silver's hallway are climbing walls lol. Fair play to whoever thought of that

"I've never fought so many well dressed men" Venus buddy please use your eyes

She's so polite though

The scene transitions in this show really are something aren't they? Wow

"I know exactly what you're gonna say but we think you're wrong" Bro I don't think anyone's ever won an argument with their dad by starting off like that

Oh at least Splinter's actually suggested they should give the money to the guy it belongs to and chewed them out for being greedy finally

Lol they busted his legs

"I AM scary 😠😠😠"

That was the worst smoke bomb effect ever wow

...

I didn't make notes on episodes 9 & 10 of Next Mutation but the general overview is:

There's so much about Bonesteel that I love but I'm concerned that he's going to be completely pointless.

His design is top tier, I was convinced that either Kevin Eastman designed him or whoever did design him was very much taking notes from Kevin Eastman and lo and behold...

ALSO! I was wondering where I knew Bonesteel's actor from and he's frickin' Scott McNeil! How many other Transformers Beast Wars voice actors did they poach? Lol.

Anyway yeah love him.

Also Quease is really interesting. I want to believe that his relationship with Donnie will be developed on but I'm not going to hold my breath. Hopefully they do something interesting with them though.

[anglophiletraveler]

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Don’t Let Me Down

Written by John Lennon

*****

This is a shorter chapter written to be a transition chapter to keep the story of our favourite couple going.  Thanks once again to my wonderful friend and beta, Karen Bockius.  And thank you to the readers for all of your support.  It is much appreciated.  

*****

Demelza heard a knock on the door and answered it to find Caroline with a big smile on her face, and a large tote bag carrying goodness knows what!!

“Caroline!  Come on in, I’m so excited to see you!”  The two friends gave each other a big hug.  

“Hello darling, how are you?  I hope that you’re as excited about this wedding as I am!”  Caroline set down her heavy bag.

Demelza was staring at the bag, “What on earth did you bring?  It looks like you’ve shoplifted the magazine section of the grocery store!”

“Well, we do have a lot of work to do, don't we?  What kind of a maid of honour would I be if I didn’t help you get started looking at bridal magazines?  We must take notes, and possibly cut out articles and pictures that we want to keep.”

Demelza was a little confused, “Then what do we do with the articles and pictures?”  

Caroline shook her head and rolled her eyes, “What on earth am I going to do with you?  To make a scrapbook of course!  Of anything that catches your eye.  That way we or rather you, can get an idea of what type of wedding you’d like to have.”

“You make it sound simple,” Demelza replied.

“This is the fun part!  Before all of the stress takes over,” Caroline said.

Demelza furrowed her brows, “Have you ever planned a wedding before?”

“Well of course, I haven’t planned my wedding, but I’ve helped a few friends and some cousins plan their weddings.”  Caroline pulled out a giant three-ring binder with blank pages in it. Demelza thought for sure there was a spotlight on the binder and music playing when Caroline pulled it from the bag!   The front of the binder in pretty lettering spelled out ‘Demelza and Ross’s Wedding’.  “And look what I brought!  I didn’t decorate the cover because I thought you might want to do that, and of course, we don’t know a date yet.  So this will help you gather your thoughts.  You can write in it, make notes, scrapbook in it with pictures, and keep memories as you go along in your wedding planning journey.”

Caroline handed the binder carefully to Demelza like it was the original Bible!  Demelza took it gently from her with big eyes.  The empty pages felt intimidating.  Demelza had no clue what to do with it.  She’s never been part of a wedding before, she’s attended a few and had actually played at quite a few, but really had no clue what to do with this giant binder or what to do first.  

The girlfriends made themselves comfortable on the couch with tea and biscuits close at hand.  Caroline pulled out a couple more magazines, “Now I know that you really have no idea what to do first, and I can help you with that, or you can do it on your own.  That’s fine if you do.  I brought a few of the magazines that seem to be pretty helpful in guiding brides what to do and when.  They’re called The Knot.”

Demelza chuckled, “Seriously?  ‘The Knot’?”

“I know right?  Catchy.  But they really do seem to be full of good ideas.  And of course, they have a website.  Have you and Ross talked about any wedding plans at all, or maybe a date?”

“No, not really.  I reckon we should start doing something?  We’re just so busy right now.  He’s been working a lot of hours transitioning over to his new division, and I’ve been either in my private lessons or at the music hall.  I don’t know what I’m going to do if we decide to have the wedding before his mother’s surgery.”  Demelza was getting anxious by the second.  

Caroline could tell Demelza was getting worried.  “Well don’t let it worry you too much.  Something that I did think of, is what venue you could use.  I checked with my uncle and he said that he would be delighted if you’d like to have the wedding and reception at his home.  That way it could all be held in one place and you wouldn’t have to worry about a thing!  And it could be as simple or as grand as you’d want!”

“Oh Caroline!  That would be wonderful! I’ve always loved your uncle’s home and it’s a place that I’m comfortable with!  But I’ll need to talk it over with Ross.”

“Of course.  In the meantime, let’s look at these dresses before I drop you off at the music hall,” Caroline smiled.

*******************************

Jenny was about ready to go home for the night and walked in to see if Ross was ready to go home as well.  But by the look of things, Ross was knee deep in boxes.  “Ross, it’s time to go home.”

Ross turned around and gave Jenny a weak smile, “Oh I don’t know Jenny.  Maybe I’ll just stay until it’s time to pick up Demelza.”

“Ross, that's two and a half hours yet!  Why don’t you go home and rest before you pick her up?” Jenny said.

Ross moved some files so that he could sit down, “I can’t believe there’s so much stuff here leftover from the last bunch of blokes.  Oh hell Jenny I don’t know.  I’m so tired of boxes and files, but I’m afraid that if I go home I’ll fall asleep and be late picking Demelza up.”

“You need to start letting her take the tube home, or better yet teach that woman how to drive!” Jenny felt bad for her boss doing all of this running around for Demelza.  

“No, I don't like her riding the tube that late at night.  And actually she does want to learn to drive when the good weather is here to stay.  Oh, I think I’m just going to stay here for a while longer, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sure Ross.  See you tomorrow,” Jenny walked out of the office.  Jenny was starting to feel frustrated with Ross driving Demelza all over London.  It’s not fair.  He does so much for her, and she doesn’t do a damn thing for Ross!  If he were my boyfriend I’d … stop it Jenny.  He’s not your boyfriend.  Get over it.  At least she’s not Elizabeth!  Jenny stepped onto the elevator and headed home.   

**************************

Ross had worked until it was time to pick up Demelza.  He was on a roll of getting things done and just stuck with it.  To his delight he was able to get most of the files put away, making less work for them in the morning.  He was now sitting in his car in the parking lot at the music hall, waiting for Demelza, with his head leaning against the window, his eyes closed.   Demelza saw through the window that Ross was probably asleep, his mouth hanging open.  She quietly opened the door and got into the car.  She nudged Ross a little bit to wake him, he startled awake and saw Demelza, “Oh shit.  Demelza, are you done?”

Demelza gave him an understanding smile, “Time to go home Ross.  Have you been at the office all this time?”

Ross cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah.  But I finally got almost all of the move done, so it was worth it,” Ross’s eyes were droopy and his voice sounded tired, “Are you hungry? We could pick something up on the way home.”

“Well, I am hungry, but I could always find something at home if you just want to go home,” Demelza said.

Ross placed his hand on Demelza’s “I don't mind stopping.  I know your appetite.  Chinese?”

“Yes Ross.”

********************************

A tired Ross and Demelza were getting out of the car when Ross stopped dead in his tracks, “fuck!”

Demelza stopped beside him, “Ross, what’s wrong?”

“Oh shit, I wasn’t thinking while working so late at the office that Seamus probably needs to get outside!  I hope he didn’t make a mess in the house.  Damnit!” Ross said as he started to head into the house ahead of Demelza.  He didn’t want her walking into a mess.

“Well, if he did, don’t yell at him, it’s not his fault,” Demelza said.

“I didn’t say it was Demelza!  For Christ’s sake I’m not going to yell at him, it’s my fault,” Ross’s voice had an unusual terseness to it that caught Demelza by surprise.  He opened the door and turned on the light.  Seamus was sitting in the kitchen waiting for his master to come home.  As soon as Demelza and Ross stood out of his way, Seamus raced outside.  The couple was looking around for any signs that Seamus might have left them something but thankfully they didn’t see anything.  Demelza put the Chinese on the table and started pulling the boxes of food out.  Ross went back outside and closed the door behind him.  It was chilly out in the dark night.  The stars were hidden by cloud cover which made it seem colder.  He plopped down in one of the lawn chairs and watched Seamus run around and stretch his legs.  He finally came over to Ross for some attention, “I’m sorry buddy, I wasn’t thinking.  I should’ve come home earlier and let you out.  I got distracted.”  Seamus licked Ross’s face in forgiveness.  Ross was laughing at the kisses.  Eventually Ross sighed, and got up and walked back inside.  

Demelza wasn’t around  when Ross came back inside, so he assumed she had already headed upstairs for the evening.  He looked at his boxes of Chinese and decided his stomach wasn’t up for it and put it in the fridge.  He grabbed a bottle of water, and also poured himself a bit of whiskey and drank it down and headed upstairs.

Demelza was sitting up in bed looking at a bridal magazine when Ross walked in, sat down and started taking off his clothes.  Demelza couldn’t help but notice the grunting that Ross was making as he undressed.  “You sound like an old man grunting over there.”

“Hmmm?” Ross climbed into bed.

“Did Seamus get all fed and watered and tucked in?” Demelza’s voice was now the one that was terse.  She was flipping the pages of her magazine quickly enough that she couldn’t possibly be reading them.

Ross yawned and stretched his arm out, and mumbled something that she didn’t understand.  “What ya readin?” Ross looked over Demelza’s shoulder and smiled, “Aww a bridal magazine, that’s nice love.  Find anything interesting?”  Ross was trying to peek at the magazine.

Demelza closed the magazine abruptly and slammed it down on her lap.

Ross’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped in shock, “I’m sorry, I was just trying to take a look.”  Ross went to put his hand on Demelza’s hand but she pulled it away.  “Demelza, what’s wrong?  Was it a bad night at rehearsal?”

Demelza let out a loud sigh, “You yelled at me Ross,” she sniffed but was fighting hard not to cry, “and I didn’t like it at all.”

Ross’s eyebrows came together, “When did I yell at you?”

“Just a little bit ago when we were coming into the house.  You yelled at me about Seamus,” Demelza said.

Now Ross remembered what she was talking about.  He pulled her into his arms, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.   I guess I didn’t even realise it.  It’s been such a long day, and I was mad at myself for forgetting about Seamus and didn’t come home to let him out before picking you up.  I’m sorry Demelza, I wasn’t mad at you.”  Ross made another attempt to hold her hand again, giving her puppy dog eyes.

Demelza rolled her eyes, “Oh alright, how am I supposed to say no to that face.”  She leaned in to kiss Ross and took his hand, which brought the sunshine back to Ross’s face.

“Sooo have you found anything interesting in your magazines?” Ross asked.  

Demelza sighed, “No, not yet.  I haven’t really given them my full attention since Caroline dropped them off earlier.”

Ross’s eyes widened again, “Caroline brought them over?  That was nice of her.”

Demelza got her smile back, “Yes! She brought over quite a few magazines, and she actually made me this three ring binder with blank pages in it, where I can cut pictures out or write down thoughts …”

Ross interrupted, “What?  A binder? I don’t understand.  What are you supposed to write down in it?”

“Wellll, thoughts about the wedding of course!  Silly!  You know, what things we want to include in the wedding, how we want it to look like, themes, wedding dresses that I like, decorations.”

“Really?  I’ve never heard of such a thing.  Sounds kind of complicated.  Do you have an…idea of a wedding dress?” Ross replied.

Demelza started flipping through the pages again, “No, not yet.  I don’t know if we need to figure out where we’re going to have the wedding before I choose my dress.  Oh Ross!  I forgot to mention!  Caroline has offered her uncle’s house to have our wedding and reception in!  Isn’t that wonderful!”

Ross’s eyebrows grew together again, “Oh.”

“What?  What’s wrong Ross?”  

Ross was looking down at his hands, “I guess I just assumed we…would get married at Nampara.”

“Oh.  I hadn’t thought about Nampara.  Well, we don’t even know about a date yet, and when your mother’s surgery is…”

“Well, I have spoken with my father about that.  Mama has a doctor appointment this Friday and he’s going to try to get a handle on that and what the doctor thinks is best,” Ross said.

Demelza was a little taken aback by this, “Oh, you didn’t tell me that you had spoken with your father.”  

“I’m sorry, I meant to tell you but I couldn’t remember whenever I saw you.  It’s hard right now.  I wish we could carve out some time for each other during the week.  By the time you get home, I’m tired, and then in the morning when I’m getting ready for work, you’re tired.”

Now Demelza’s eyebrows were knitted together, “Are you saying that you want me to quit the orchestra and my lessons?” Her voice raised.

“No Demelza!  I’m not saying that at all!  I’ve told you before that I don’t want you to quit your career, and I meant that!  It’s just hard right now with all of the rehearsing that the orchestra is doing to get ready for the album, and with the audition of the next chair of the cello coming up, it’s all just a lot.  I’m getting prepared to take over this new division  so that’s a lot as well.”  Ross let out a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry, love.  I’m kind of new to living with someone and dealing with issues like this.  And now we will soon start planning a wedding, something which I know absolutely nothing about.”

“Well, that makes two of us!  I was never the girl who thought about weddings and wedding dresses while growing up.  I was just trying to survive and get the hell out of the house.  Today is the first time that I’ve ever looked at a bridal magazine.  What about you?”

“I’ve never thought about wedding dresses either,” Ross cocked an eyebrow for a mischievous look.  

Demelza pushed him, “You twat!  I meant have you ever thought about what your wedding might be like?  You were engaged to Elizabeth after all, so you must have thought about it.”

“Well, to be honest we didn’t get very far into the wedding planning when I found her in bed with my charming cousin.  As far as thinking of what my wedding would look like?  It’s not really a guy thing.  Although, whenever I mentioned to Elizabeth about getting married at Nampara she would make a face at me.”  Ross yawned again.  “Not to be rude, but would you mind if I went to sleep, love?”

“No, I’m tired too.”  A very loving good night kiss was exchanged and they both settled down under the covers after turning out the bedside lamps.  They snuggled into their usual position of Ross wrapping his arms around Demelza with her back side pressed up against Ross’s chest.  Ross had drifted off to sleep, and Demelza was almost there when she sat up all of a sudden and screamed, “LUNCH!”

Ross sat up dazed and confused from his sleep, “What’s wrong?  What happened?  Are you alright Demelza?”

“Lunch!  That’s the solution Ross.”

“The solution to what?  What are you talking about?”

“The solution to us never seeing each other!  I could come over to your office and have lunch with you a couple of times during the week before my lessons,” Demelza was excited that she found an answer to their current problem.  

Ross’s relieved shoulders sank back down, “Yes, Demelza, that is a very good idea.  We’ll plan on it.  Can we just go back to sleep, please?”

Demelza had a slight smile on her face, “Yes Ross.”

******************************

Demelza stood at the door to Ross’s new office, and in her sexiest voice said, “Well hey sexy fancy meetin you here!”

Ross turned around and got a big smile on his face, “Well, hello there!  Come here often?”

Demlza laughed, “Not often enough.  I’ve heard that there’s a very sexy banker that works here.  Have you seen him?”

Ross got up and slinked over to Demelza, “Well, it just so happens, that I’ve thrown him out a window so that I can have you all to myself!  So, why don’t you step into my office and I’ll take you for a spin on my new office chair!”  Ross moved his eyebrows up and down trying to be all sexy.

Demelza burst out laughing at Ross and walked into his office so he could shut the door behind her.  He grabbed her arm before she could escape from him and pulled her into a very deep, forceful kiss.  Ross whispered into Demelza’s ear, “I’ve been looking forward to lunch all morning.”

Demelza giggled, “My, my aren’t you the frisky one.  Better be careful that Mr. Tonkin doesn’t walk in on us,” She wrapped her arms around Ross’s neck to pull him down for another kiss.  She felt Ross’s hands on her back side bringing a moan from Demelza, then she realised where they were and she pulled away, “Ross, darling we can’t!”

Ross let out a big sigh, “Oh, I know, I know.  Sorry.  I’m just feeling a little bit…”  Ross’s mobile phone rang, “saved by the bell,” Ross smiled.  He looked at the screen, “Hello da, how are you?”

“Hello Ross, did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, not at all.  In fact Demelza is here with me for lunch,” Ross said.  Joshua chuckled.  Ross raised an eyebrow, “What’s so funny?”

“You, calling it lunch.  That’s what your mother and I used to call it back in the day.”

“Ewwww da, I do not want to hear about yours and mother’s sexual escapades!” Ross replied.

Demelza got a scandalous look on her face.

Ross smiled at  his fiance’, “well now that you’ve completely freaked out Demelza, is there a point to this call?  And I’ve got you on speaker.”

Joshua chuckled again, “Oh I’m sorry Demelza, I didn’t mean to shock you.  Anyway, we went to your mother’s oncologist appointment today…”

“And?”

“And, the doctor suggested that you have the wedding before the surgery, but of course it’s up to the two of you if you want to hurry up and plan a wedding, or take your time and have it later after the surgery.  The doctor is planning on the surgery for two months from now.  Your mother is upset about all of it.  She wants to be a part of the planning, but of course that’s all up to the two of you and where you want to have the wedding.”

Ross looked at Demelza to see if he could tell what her feelings were, but she wasn’t showing her hand right now.

“Ross? Are you there?” Joshua asked.

“Yes dad we’re here.  Is mum hoping that the ceremony is at Nampara?” Ross asked.

Demelza rolled her lips to bite on them in anticipation of Joshua’s answer.

“She did mention that, Ross, but this is your wedding.  You two decide on where you want to have it.  It would be nice to at least have it down here in Cornwall so that your mother does tire out too much.  But like I said, it’s your wedding,” it was obvious that Joshua was stuck in the middle.  He knew how much it would mean to Grace to have the wedding of their surviving son at their home.

Demelza cleared her throat, “Caroline’s uncle has also offered us to have the wedding and reception at his home.  That way everything could be in one place, and there wouldn’t be much planning to do.”

“Well that’s very generous of him, and it would certainly be a lovely venue for your wedding.  Well, I’m going to get going here.  I need to go pick up a prescription for your mother.  We’ll talk soon,” Joshua said.

“Alright dad, we’ll talk later,” Ross replied.  He looked up at Demelza.  “So what do you want to do?  I guess the first thing to decide on is if we want to have the wedding before the surgery, or wait?”

Demelza was biting her thumb nail, something she rarely did.  “I think we should have the wedding before the surgery.  But I also think we should have it at Killewarren.”

Ross blew a big sigh and ran his hands over his face.  “I was afraid you were going to say that about Killewarren.”

“Ross it will be so much easier on Grace and on us if we have it there, plus we can have more guests if we have it at Killewarren.  I don’t have much family, but I do have friends that I want to invite, and you do too.  Not to mention business associates.  If we have it at Nampara, we would have to use a tent for everything, and that’s something I really don’t want to do,” Demelza explained her side of things.

“Is that you talking or is that Caroline talking?”

“Ross!!  I can’t believe you just said that to me!  I haven’t even talked with Caroline since the other day.  Don’t you think I can make a decision on my own without Caroline? I…”

There was a knock on the door.  Jenny interrupted, “Ross your lunch is here.  Do you want me to bring it in here?”

“Uh yeah Jenny, thanks.  Why don’t you go on to lunch as well, yeah?” Ross told Jenny.

“Sure, sounds good.  Congratulations on your engagement Demelza.  You must be very excited. I know I would be.” Jenny said.

Demelza gave Jenny a smile, “Thank you Jenny.  Yes we’re very excited.  Have a good lunch.”

“Aye.  Ross, call me if you need me to come back sooner.  Ta.”  Jenny turned around and left the couple with their lunch.  She had heard their voices raise just before she knocked on the door which made her wonder if there was trouble in paradise.

Ross let out a big sigh and sat down at his desk, “Look Demelza, I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have said that earlier about Caroline.  Of course you can make a decision without Caroline.  I don’t want things to be tense between us.  Can we agree to just try to keep things simple since we don’t have time to plan a royal wedding?”

Demelza sat on the couch and started pulling their lunch out of bags, “Yes, I think we can definitely agree on that.  It sounds like the album recording is going to be after your mother’s surgery, so at least we don’t have to worry about the actual recording itself.”

“Well, that’s one good thing.  I imagine that you’d like to hire some of your friends from the orchestra to play at the ceremony?” Ross asked.

Demelza started eating her sandwich, “Well, there’s a line there.  Is it tacky to ask my friends to play?  I’ll have to ask around and see how people would feel about it.  I mean we would pay them to play, naturally.  Do you think we should hire a wedding planner?”

Ross tucked into his lunch and was thinking about the question.  “Well, would that insult Caroline?  You don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to ask her point blank on that one.  I don’t want her overwhelmed either.” Demelza’s phone buzzed with a text.  She took a moment to look at it.  “Well, here we go.”

“Who is it?”

“Frank.  He said the maestro just announced the cellist audition for next Wednesday.”  Demelza’s face turned white as she put her hand over her heart.  “Fuck. It’s all too much!”  

Ross could see she was about to lose it.  Her breathing was getting faster, he joined her on the couch quickly, and placed her hand into his, “Demelza look at me.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Come on, do it with me.  We’ve done this before.  It’s okay, my love, you’re alright.”  Demelza was breathing along with Ross.  “Demelza, look at me.  Forget about anything to do with the wedding until after the audition next week, alright?  Do what you need to do to get yourself ready for the audition.  If there’s a practise room somewhere that I need to hire for you just let me know.  And I can hire a driver to take you wherever you want to go until after the audition.”

Demelza looked at Ross like a dewy eyed doe, “Oh Ross I can’t let you do all of that.”

“I insist Demelza.  This audition is very important.  I can’t help you play, but I can make arrangements to help make life easier for you while you prepare.  I’ll do the shopping this weekend and the cooking, and make sure Seamus and I stay out of your way.  Whatever you need, please just let me know, alright?  And no talk of wedding plans,” Ross raised his hand to brush a loose curl from her eyes.  

Demelza grabbed him for a hug, “Oh Ross, I’m so sorry for being so cross with you lately.  I don’t deserve you.”

Ross softly chuckled in Demelza’s ear, “Hey now, no apologies necessary.  I think we’ve both been a little on edge lately.  You just worry about kicking ass at that audition, and being the best cellist that you can be, alright?”  Ross leaned back to look at Demelza, “I love you, and I believe in you and your ability.  And I’m going to be right there by your side, every step of the way.”  Ross took Demelza’s face in both of his hands to gently kiss her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose, and finally her lips.  The two separated and rested their foreheads against each other.  Ross sighed and smiled as Demelza’s phone started to blow up.  “I believe you know what all of that is about?”

Demelza looked at the phone, “Yep.  That would be James.  I suppose that I better get home and get ready for rehearsal.  Sorry that our lunch date was cut short.”

Ross smiled and shook his head, “It’s quite alright.  It was for a good reason.  C’mon, let’s go get you a cab home.  Why don’t you take the rest of your sandwich with you, maybe you can eat it later.”

“Good idea.  You could finish yours as well,” Demelza stood up to get her things together.  

Ross straightened his tie and ran his hand through his hair, “You ready to go, love?”

Demelza smiled at him, straightening his tie, “Yes, I guess so.”  She placed her hand on his chest and leaned up for another kiss.  

“Okay, I’ll walk you downstairs to get a cab,” Ross opened the door for her.  Jenny was standing outside of Ross’s office door when he opened it.   “Oh hi Jenny, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.  I’m going to walk Demelza downstairs to get a cab and then I’ll be back.”

“Oh the tube station is just half a block away, that would be cheaper,” Jenny piped in.

“Oh I could just do that Ross…” Demelza said.

Ross’s eyes widened at Jenny, “No Jenny, please!  Demelza, I want you to take a cab. It will be quicker and you’ll be able to get home and do what you need to do for rehearsal and find out more about the audition,” Ross said emphatically.  Demelza saw the look on Ross’s face and then looked at Jenny whose face was flushed from Ross’s words.  Ross took a breath.  “So Demelza, do you have everything together?

Demelza’s eyes were wide, and she answered him in a soft voice, “Yes, love, I’m ready to go whenever you are.”

“Right.  Jenny, I’ll be back in a moment,” Ross grabbed Demelza’s hand and led her to the elevator.  

Ross and Demelza stepped into the elevator, the doors closing behind them.  Ross noticed Demelza was looking at him, “What?”

“Um, well, maybe it’s just me, but I think Jenny has a thing for you.  I’ve suspected before but the way she looked at me today, I’m pretty sure.  Has she said anything to you?”

Ross sighed, and ran his hand across his face, “I had an inkling.  I was hoping I was just imagining things.  What should I do?”

The elevator door opened and they stepped out.  “I don’t know Ross.  I guess just make sure you don’t encourage her feelings.  I’ll think about it and we can talk about it over the weekend, but right now I need to get a cab.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  I see one over there, let’s go grab it.”  Ross waved at the cab to make sure it didn’t drive off.

Ross opened the car door for Demelza, “Look, I’ll pick you up later tonight, and then maybe we can go have a drink or something.  Unwind a bit,” Ross reached in the window to give the driver instructions on where to go and paid him.

“That sounds wonderful!” Demelza gave Ross a kiss and got in the cab.

Ross waved them off and then turned around and looked at his building.  He couldn’t help but think about Jenny and what he should do, or if he should do anything.  He’s never been in this kind of situation before and he didn’t want to mess it up.  He let out a big sigh and headed back into the building.

*******************************

I have to admit, finding titles for the chapters has forced me to remember Beatles songs that I’ve forgotten about and it’s also been fun learning about how they were written and the story behind the song.  I chose this song for this chapter because as Ross and Demelza go forward in their relationship, and now planning a wedding, things or people will no doubt get in their way just like any other couple.  Demelza has worked hard for her career and Ross plans on supporting her in it, but what about children?  To have children or not to have children?  Where is the wedding going to take place?  Is there going to be a woman from Ross’s past to throw a monkey wrench into the couple? 

[greensagephase]

Happy belated Valentine’s Day, Alondra! ❤️ (I’m very late to seeing this 😓 but I’m trying to catch up on my feed!) but I knew I had to read this and OMG I LOVE IT!!! I loved how you included Peter B. and Mayday in the beginning!! her little outfit is so cute 🥺 (it is so cute I had to draw it but that’s at the end!) and I love how you mentioned reader wondering if Peter has his own merchandise store!! because I’ve also wondered that 🤔 he must have, it would be funny if he really had his own merchandise store and he keeps it a secret 😂 and I have to mention for some reason I imagined Peter B. eating the brownie reader made like how he ate the burger in ITSV 😂 But also Peter not questioning reader on seeing the two boxes left in the bag (ok you just know he’s rooting for Miguel and reader silently!)

I love how reader planned out and kept secret the things she was going to bake for Valentine’s Day and made something for all her friends 🥺 it kind of reminds me of when I was in high school my friends and I would give each other treats on that day and little gifts sometimes! When reader sits in Miguel’s office and recalls the days when she didn’t really ever come in there and now she’s there almost every day, with this quote right here: “You smile to yourself. Life can really change.” 🥹 still get emotional over all the change that’s happened in readers life, it’s only been almost 2 years and all this massive change has happened, I really do lover her as a character too! ❤️

Alondra, you got me again with the Peter memory 😭😭 ALONDRA I WAS CRYING!! “His eyes lit up at the sight of you, as if he hadn’t seen you a million times before, as if he was falling in love with you for the first time all over again.” I'M NOT OKAY!! THE WAY HE KISSES THE BACK OF READERS HAND??!! (Ok I drew this out too, I had to!!) HIM PLANNING A WHOLE ROMANTIC DINNER EVEN WITH THE INITIAL PLANS BEING CANCELLED??!! With the soft music playing in the background and soft candlelight??!! The picnic blanket and pillows??!! I just, I can’t!! Ok why can’t Peter be real either 😭 this memory sounded so sweet, this is the perfect date idea!! OMG the night ending in a dance, my heart!! This was too sweet!! I was definitely in my Peter feels reading this (still am 🥺) AHHH!! And then the transition to Miguel tilting his head a bit as he gets curious when you’re lost in thought 😭

THIS WHOLE PART: “Yes, but -” Miguel pauses and sighs. It’s different. You’re different. You’re not just any member. You’re his friend. His close friend. His… Miguel clears his throat. “You… Are different. You know why.” Was literally giggling and kicking my feet reading this, just like in part 12 when he said something along the lines of “you know who we are” 😭 the fact he doesn’t want reader asking permission to enter his lab, he really wants her to feel comfortable!! When reader gifts Miguel the treats she baked in the little containers and Miguel was awestruck 😭 OMG I bet the baked goods looked so cute 🥺 (and so small in his hand!! You know I had to draw this out too!!) AHHH every time Miguel blushes I swear I giggle every time CAN YOU IMAGINE SEEING THAT IRL?! (Ok no seriously why isn’t this man real??!!) 😭 but the heart shaped conchas!!! That is so cute!! I even looked up heart shaped conchas to see what they’d look like and OMG THEY’RE SO CUTE!! it hasn’t even crossed my mind that you could even shape them like that!! 

I can’t believe Lyla helped reader by distract Miguel and moved his tabs around 😭 I don’t know why but imagining that made me laugh, Miguel probably being frustrated and confused why Lyla was doing all that!! Miguel’s frowning face!! 😂 When reader mentions how good the conchas would be be with café de olla and their whole back and forth conversation… I’m not kidding when I say I was giggling!! I mean, THEIR PLAYFUL BANTER!! And I don’t know why but when Miguel said: “Definitely something to think about… which means you have more at home, yes?” I just… hearing him talk like that, like it’s their home??!! THE CASUAL DOMESTICITY IS COMING OUT EVEN MORE NOW OMG!!! They’re already acting like a couple I feel like 😭 and Lyla hovering between them! 😭 I wonder if was taking photos 🤔😂

I’m FREAKING OUT RN because… ok I need to calm down, Miguel making café de olla and him being the one to suggest taking a break… THE PROGRESS??!! DOING THIS MAN SO MUCH JUSTICE!!!! AND THEN THE BOTH OF THEM SITTING ON THE FLOOR AND ENJOYING EACH OTHERS COMPANY WITH THE BAKED GOODS (ok I’m imagining him in his lounge clothes and… do I even have to say 😭) 

that leads me to this: “You take a drink from your mug, noticing a gentle but sudden flush on Miguel’s cheeks. Your gaze flickers to the fireplace for a second, unbeknownst to you that a certain realization of Miguel’s is the true culprit for the rosiness that now cover his cheeks.” ALONDRA- ALONDRA??!! SCREAMING!!! THE WAY I’M READING THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN??!! I’m freaking out, does this mean?… I can’t stop thinking about this, this just makes me even more excited to see how their relationship evolves in the story!!! I can't stop thinking about this- I'm really wondering how Miguel feels rn!! AHHH I LOVE THE SLOWBURN!!

I hope you had a great valentines day, Alondra!! And I really wasn’t expecting another post so soon after part 12, thank you for writing this!! ❤️ This made my day reading it, it was so sweet!! Makes me want to bake some brownies too! Soft Miguel is the BEST Miguel!! Also, I’m trying to catch up on all the things I’ve missed the past 2 weeks 😓 I haven’t been on social media because of school (the capstone is taking a a lot of my time away 😭) and midterms coming up but I just saw your response to part 12 and plan on responding!! (I love reading your feedback on everything because you're really my favorite writer, and to hear your own thoughts on everything is really insightful and I love talking to you when I can!!) I hope you’re doing well!! I'm so OMG I’m going to mention this in my response to part 12 but I’m so happy you were able to relax and read the book you were looking forward to reading!! that feeling when you read and finish a book so quickly is the best!! (and worst because it’s over and you have to wait for the next one 😭) but I hope your week is going smoothly!! (And if you’re practicing drawing, I hope you're having fun with it!!) thank you for everything, friend! Sending you a warm virtual hug, friend!! ❤️✨❤️

I was able to take a quick break today and draw some parts I loved in this!! I really had draw these scenes out and I knew if not now I'll never post them but AHHH just loved everything about this one-shot!!! it's just so sweet!!! 🥹❤️

Happy belated Valentine’s Day, @sunsetdoodler !! ❤️ Don’t worry about seeing the post late, friend, I totally understand!!!! I’m so happy you loved the beginning of the one-shot with Peter B. and Mayday!! I’ve been enjoying including the other characters more throughout the parts, and it just felt right to include them in this one-shot!! Mayday’s outfit - omg, I really loved picturing her cute outfit and just knowing that Peter B. was going to have the perfect outfit for Valentine’s, haha! Also, him possibly having his own merch store and keeping it a secret, imagine!!! But, no, where does he get all of that merch? He’s hiding something! 🤔 Also, screaming at how you imagined Peter eating the brownie because I did, too!!! 😂😂 Exactly like how he ate the burger in ITSV, but I just didn’t want to go too much into detail with it but that’s how I saw it, for real!! And hehe, Peter not saying anything about the last two boxes, yes! You know him and Jess have seen things and Peter is rooting for them (has been for months now!). He just wants to see two of his close friends be happy !🥺

Aww, I’m so happy reader secretly planning and baking treats for her friends reminded you of such sweet memories from your high school years!! That’s seriously so sweet!! 🥺 And omg, reader thinking about the change and how she spends so much time in Miguel’s lab now made me feel so happy for her. Her life has really changed so much in the span of almost two years after being alone for so long and I’m just so proud of her 🥹 and I’m so happy you love her as a character, too!!

Okay but the Peter part - “His eyes lit up at the sight of you, as if he hadn’t seen you a million times before, as if he was falling in love with you for the first time all over again.” I’M SORRY!!!😭 I just knew it was going to hurt to write that specific quote because you know we’ve talked about it so much - about how Peter always had that look on his face, and how you could just tell that this man loved reader so much! It hurt writing it and having reader see, recognize, and remember it - to have it become canon!! (not okay about this at all!!!) HIM KISSING THE BACK OF READER’S HAND, AHHHH SIJIKJ !! I was losing it and just wondering why he isn’t real??? Okay the dinner itself! I thought about it and was just like, “Wouldn't it be perfect if they had a dinner at home, in their little, cozy apartment and they just danced at the end of the night in their living room?” 😭 It just sounded too perfect to not have it go like this and include yet another sweet memory attached to the apartment!! I was definitely in my feels the entire time, just picturing Peter and his face, so full of adoration and love for reader - I need to stop!!! And then, it cuts to Miguel, tilting his head in curiosity! I included this because imagining him like that sounds so cute to me? I don’t know but something about it is so cute!! I also really liked this part because of the transition itself from having Peter saying “Happy Valentine’s” to reader repeating it, to Miguel responding to her- it was like a symbolic and foreshadowing transition of relationships? I don’t know if that makes sense but it’s just a little sign that reader is moving forward to another relationship and Miguel responds to it, so it’s him - her next relationship! I hope that makes sense!! 😭

This whole part: “Yes, but -” Miguel pauses and sighs. It’s different. You’re different. You’re not just any member. You’re his friend. His close friend. His… Miguel clears his throat. “You… Are different. You know why.” I WAS GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET, AND SQUEALING !!! Like, yet another time with Miguel admitting indirectly: “WE’RE FRIENDS!!” And that makes me scream every time!!! 😭 He’s trying!!! Also, him asking reader to stop asking for permission about entering the lab, I just love it so much!! He’s really like, “just walk in, make yourself comfortable, this is your space, too” - screaming and crying at this!! (yet again fangirling at my own writing) Also, Miguel being awestruck with the baked treats because he was included by reader - lowkey, a part of him is still like, “you think about me?” - which just makes me so sad that he would feel like that, but also so happy that he realizes he has people that think about him - hence his blushing, which AHHH!! You know I love him blushing, so this felt like a good time to write him with rosy cheeks TWICE (plus it was Valentine’s so it felt even more fitting 🤭)!! And omg, I was going to bake said heart-shaped brownies and try to make conchas (I’ve never made them but I’ve seen recipes online) and take a pic for you guys to have an idea of how small I was talking about, but Valentine’s was a really busy day for me because I had a doctor’s appointment and lent started (I’m Catholic), so I was busy helping my mom with the cooking that day lol (I was also finishing up the one-shot at like 10am hehe). So, by evening I was like, I don’t feel like baking now, but I have a little tray of heart-shaped molds and they’re literally about my palm’s size, so I was just imagining that if they looked small in my hand they would look mini-size in Miguel’s hand probably, hahaha!! And omg, the heart-shaped conchas really are so cute!! I saw a recipe of someone baking them like that last year and I just thought they were adorable!! I think I’ve also seen star-shaped ones, so it’s definitely possible to bake them in different shapes!!

No, I was actually laughing at the thought of Lyla distracting and making Miguel waste time at the lab by moving his tabs around because imagine Miguel switching tabs only to discover that tab 3 is now tab 5, and so on, and then it keeps happening over and over again with all the tabs switched!😂 But I love that Lyla was so onboard with the plan!! Also, Miguel’s frowning face - the way I pictured it perfectly!! Their whole conversation around café de olla - I WAS TYPING AND GIGGLING WITH EACH LINE - LIKE THIS PLAYFUL BANTER??? It’s the way Miguel is actually engaging in it, and the way we get to see reader not only show a little more playful side but also her being playful with Miguel in general, something that I feel like she’s always holding back on to avoid making Miguel uncomfortable!! OKAY THIS QUOTE: “Definitely something to think about… which means you have more at home, yes?” - YES, it sounding like it’s “their” home - believe me when I say that I had to take a moment to calm down because ?!?!?!!?!?! But then, the difference with reader saying that yes, there might be more at the “penthouse” - not using the word “home”- hehe, it will be a little something for chapter 13 and it will make Miguel happy to hear! 🥺 But I love the way he really does make it sound like it's their home!! I also found it somewhat significant that he called it "home" when we know that word is usually not how he describes his living space. Reader truly makes the penthouse feel more like home for Miguel!! 🥹But seriously omg, the casual domesticity WE’RE HERE FOR IT!!! Also, I love that you feel like they were acting like a couple - SAME!! I was just like omg, this playful banter 😭 😭 I was just like “wow, this is a peek into the future and I love that for you guys!!” I was going through emotions with this one-shot, you can tell!! Also, Lyla hovering above them sjsjsksk you know she was assessing the playful banter with a smirk, she was thinking things!! And Lyla and her photo-taking tendencies - I love that it’s become a thing that you wonder about now!! 😂😂 My guess is that… she was, and that’s all I’m saying… 👀

I totally understand FREAKING OUT over Miguel making café de olla and him suggesting the break!! So much PROGRESS!!! I seriously love seeing how much Miguel has grown since the first chapter!! It makes me want to cry but for good reason, you know? I just love seeing him develop more and more, and see more of that sweet, tender side to him that we only got a glimpse of in ATSV through this fanfic. I've seen these words a lot of times throughout the years and they're somewhere along the lines of, "write the fanfic you want to read" and so, I really wanted to see this side of Miguel more, and I'm so happy that I've been writing it because it really does make me happy to give some happiness to Miguel and to explore this side of him through my writing.😭Also, crying at the fact that the café de olla was Miguel’s Valentine’s gift for reader !! 🥹 (I’m okay, really… not!!) Okay and then them sitting on the floor and enjoying each other’s company got me screaming!! They’re SO CUTE (just imagining future situations...)!!! (also, I was imagining him in lounge clothes, too, and I was just like AHHHHHHH!!! The way reader gets to see him like this, too, now that she’s staying there right now 🥺)

This quote right here: “You take a drink from your mug, noticing a gentle but sudden flush on Miguel’s cheeks. Your gaze flickers to the fireplace for a second, unbeknownst to you that a certain realization of Miguel’s is the true culprit for the rosiness that now cover his cheeks.” So, my goal with this little line and Miguel’s thoughts right before it, is that Miguel realizes that reader is not just a friend, or a close friend, she’s actually… his best friend 😭😭 I need to leave for a few minutes while I collect myself right now, please excuse me because 😭😭😭 Also, earlier in the one-shot reader has the same realization (right where Miguel tells her she’s different because she knows what they are), so they have the same realization on the same day, they just don’t finish their thoughts because the realization is kind of like, woah, you know? It’s them lowkey realizing it and knowing that this means they love each other in this way and that’s a big deal for the two!! (I’m fine really, don’t worry about me)!! I’ll be going more into it in part 13!! And the slowburn!!! I’m dying because of it but also really loving it!!!

Thank you @sunsetdoodler !! I hope you had a great Valentine's Day, too!! I'm happy that l was able to surprise you guys with a short update after posting part 12!! I actually had this planned out since January but it was nice to actually get it out just in time!! Also, if you bake brownies, I hope you enjoy them!!! And yes, omg soft Miguel is the BEST!!! 🥺❤️ I totally understand how busy you are, especially with a capstone (getting flashbacks right now and 😭 yeah, I wasn’t having a good time) !! And omg, I can’t believe midterms are coming up already! The semester literally started last month and it’s already midterm season? That’s insane!! But I hope you’re doing well and that you’re finding time to relax just a bit, and that everything with school is going well despite how much of your time is spent on it. Just remember, you’re almost done, friend!!! You’ve made it this far and now it’s just down to weeks really. (Also, that’s so sweet of you, thank you!! It means so much to me that you love reading my responses even though sometimes I go overboard with them, and that I’m your favorite writer - you’ve made my weekend!!! THANK YOU!!! ❤️ And I also love talking with you whenever we can!! It really does mean so much to me and I enjoy our little talks!!!) And haha, I loved that I was able to relax and just read my book even though now it’s over, haha!! (also, right? It’s the worst feeling finishing and realizing now you have to wait two or more years 😭) Thank you friend, I hope your week has gone smoothly, too despite school!! (About drawing, it hasn’t gone well this week, I’ve been a little busy but I’m hoping to get some practice in this weekend along with writing!! Thank you for the well wishes with my drawing journey!!) And thank YOU, friend!!!! I love receiving your asks and reading your thoughts on the fic, along with getting to read about your schooling and life!! As always I’m sending you the best of luck and well wishes!!! I know right now it’s a lot but you’re so close to finishing, and accomplishing this amazing milestone!!!! I’m rooting for you and cheering you on, friend!!! And I’m sending you a warm virtual hug!!!! ❤️✨❤️

OKAY THE SKETCHES!!!!! THEY’RE SO CUTE AND SWEET!!!!!! I love Mayday’s sweater SO MUCH!!!! (I need Peter B. to get me one, to be honest!!!) Also, the fact that you drew her with the action figures AHHHH!! I’m so happy they made a little appearance again!!! OKAY BUT PETER KISSING THE BACK OF READER’S HAND???? I’M SCREAMING AND CRYING!!!! The way we’re only seeing his side profile but EVEN THEN you can see THE LOVE ON HIS FACE?!?! (it hurts so much 😭😭 why is he not real and alive?) I LOVE THE WAY YOU DREW HIM, THANK YOU @sunsetdoodler !!!! It’s such a treat every time you draw Peter!!! 🥺🥺 ALRIGHT BUT THEN MIGUEL HOLDING THE HEART-SHAPED CONCHA? AND HOW SMALL IT LOOKS? AND THEN THE BLUSH ON HIS FACE AND THE WAY HE’S LOOKING DOWN AND STARING AT READER, AND THE SINGLE HAIR STRAND - I AM SCREAMING!!!!! HE IS SO CUTE !!!!! Why is he not real, too?!?! AND THEN THE COLORED SKETCH - THANK YOU FOR DRAWING THAT MOMENT!!!! HIS BLUSH? HIS EYES (his eyes are so beautiful, I swear!!!)? THE SLIGHT HINT OF HIS LOUNGE CLOTHES (which I have to say, the color of his top, I imagine it was a sweatshirt, was also this color in my head!!!!! But can I just mention again the idea of Miguel in lounge clothes?? So cute!!!)?? I LOVE HIM AND THESE SKETCHES SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU @sunsetdoodler !!!! Thank you so much for drawing this even though you’re so busy!!!! This entire ask has made my weekend!!!! 🥹❤️ I hope you’re doing well, and I hope to hear from you soon, friend!!!! Please take care and I hope you have a wonderful weekend!!!! ❤️✨❤️

[strangecloud]

Having a lot of fun revisiting Fallout recently. I had fallen out of love with the series thinking I had outgrown it or something to that effect. You can't really outgrow Fallout, though. It's a tasteful and mature series through and through.

A funny thing about it is how it has evolved along with my taste in games to begin with. The Black Isle/Obsidian trilogy is a masterpiece in the way it asks you to be someone else, somewhere else, and then holding up your virtual persona and decisions to you in a deeply bleak mirror of sarcasm and satire, and asking "So, like what you see?"

I think that's the intellectual core of classic Fallout. The unrepentant satire of the setting eventually satirizes the player themselves by, ironically, taking what you choose to do seriously. The existence of the NCR is probably the best example, as it would canonically not exist were it not for the involvement of the player, or "players" in the abstract at the very least.

Bethesda is less appreciated in the discourse, but I enjoy the direction they've taken the games, in a sense.

Fallout 4 is easiest to talk about. I have many, many complaints about the main quest but the overall design of the game is deeply enjoyable to me. Specifically in how it encourages a sort of mechanical role-playing experience over a narrative one, for better or worse.

The possibility space for character archetypes in 4 is staggering. Your character can be a town leader, or a merchant, or a scavenger, or a mercenary, or a scientist or bandit, all determined by how and when you decide to engage with the open-ended systems and the membrane of progression that is the junk economy. This is weighted, of course, by what activities and avenues of progression you personally find most fun in the game, but even then there's something to be said about being able to pick what you like to do and building a character around that.

You can play 4 without ever bothering to pick up trash. All you have to do is quest around to make money and then buy all the garbage you need from the nearest vendor. You can choose not to touch the town system, or just make a personal clubhouse for your companions, and the game is perfectly playable. Maybe all you want to do is steal everything that's not nailed down, or hunt animals and sell their loot or whatever. It's a kind of performative role-playing that is very refreshing when engaging the game on its own terms, divorced from the expectations of the old GURPS-inspired character sheets.

It's much less literary and cerebral than the classic formula, and Fallout 76 at the very least has me worried about the direction the series is headed, but for now I don't think much character building and roleplaying has been lost in the transition to 4, despite what the fanbase would have me believe. The roleplaying is shifted around to the gameplay rather than a simple narrative role and character archetype.

All that to say, I can enjoy all aspects of Fallout as a series as my enjoyment of games has evolved. Even Fallout 3, which I haven't really talked about, has a place in my library as a very nostalgic and lonely, atmospheric experience. These games have always been great.

They've always been, and always will be, Special.

[annebrontesrequiem]

Finished Pentiment! Will never be the same thanks for that.

Okay in all seriousness I don't think this was the most life changing thing I've experienced - in the way that certain works (mainly books) have literally changed my views on life itself. Possibly because I've already seen Andrei Rublev and if there was ever a piece of media about religion and loss and generations that was going to completely fry your brain, that was it.

That being said I really enjoyed Pentiment. Like, first game in years I've finished the entire way enjoyed. It really moved me, and I really was drawn into the story, into playing and learning as much as possible. I certainly did not play this game as fast as I could have, hell I even regret some options I didn't take that I wanted to experience (next time maybe)? I really liked the direction of the story. I liked the way we see Mahler watch everything crumble. I really loved the transition into Act III, all these familiar characters and pieces of information that could only make sense to the player and not to the character of Magdalene.

I also loved the sense of living through something that this game had. Terrible things happen. People die. Buildings crumble. It seems like the end of the world and then... it isn't. A new season comes. Babies are born. Children grow up. Humans keep living and living and living even when the world seems on a knife's edge. And I absolutely adore media that portrays this. Really more than I care to admit. I love the story of humanity surviving. Because of choices and because we have to. It's a compulsion in all of us, to survive, and, more importantly, to live.

I do think this game would have done better were it set a little earlier? I do think that Tassing does not ultimately feel like part of the 16th century, though some of this is of course aesthetic. The style is more medieval than Renaissance to me, and though I do appreciate and understand why Tassing should feel out of time and like a backwater - I mean like, it is and that is a clear theme in the story - I still think a little earlier might have been better? But of course you're constrained by historical events and when the Reformation started so I get it. Maybe I'm just too big of a fan of the 14th and 15th centuries in terms of art. My loves forever and always.

Overall I really did like Pentiment though and would give it like... 4.5/5 stars. Again, really rare I complete a video game so in my book this is like Hall of Fame level video game stuff. Shoutout to Obsidian. I may not leave the historical realm for Disco Elysium, but I do love what you did here.

[can-of-pringles]

asks about Silas since I just saw your post:

how did Silas grow up? What were his parents like? Did he have any siblings?

how did he realize he was queer/trans? Did the people around him generally accept him, or was it difficult at first? How about at the ministry, do they know he's trans or is he more stealth?

how did he get into working at the ministry? why did he choose to become a janitor in the first place? He likes playing piano - would he ever want to pursue that seriously, or is it just a hobby?

What's his favorite thing about Copia? His least favorite thing? Copia's favorite/least favorite about him? How would you describe their relationship?

Thanks for sending an ask!

He mostly grew up in Austin TX and spent time outside climbing trees and exploring in general. As well as the time he spent with his dad and dad's side of the family in Sweden. He loved collecting rocks and was generally a quiet kid.

I haven't really developed his parents other than their names. Both his parents were supportive of him and encouraged most of his interests. Even when they divorce, they remain friends and co-parent Silas. (I don't think the divorce was from any toxic situations, it was more of just incompatibility, though I'd have to think about it more)

Silas is an only child.

Growing up he was always called a tomboy by the adults around him, but knew it was something more than that. He didn't have the language to explain how he felt until he was a bit older. And that goes for being queer in general too. He stayed in the closet until maybe early teens? Luckily his parents are mostly supportive and help him with transitioning, however ask him (mostly his mom does) to kinda stay in the closet for their church initially (growing up in the south :|) (which causes some personal issues and perhaps religious trauma for him...) but then they do eventually leave that church. But the damage was already done. Silas prefers to stay out of the church and organized religion stuff (which may be slightly ironic in a way)

Silas does try to stay mostly stealth at the ministry (and he kinda passes anyway) I think only a few people know. Sister Imperator knows but strictly for business purposes like I guess with healthcare and stuff (Sister may be cold but I don't think this would bother her) (ministry jobs have great benefits /hj) and then Silas eventually comes out to Copia. As for the majority of everyone else, they probably assume he's a queer cis guy.

He started working when he was kind of in a tough spot and just really needed money. He had worked trade-type jobs before and knew enough to be a janitor. It was originally going to be temporary, but it worked out too well /j and he just decided to stay. Playing the piano is just a hobby. If anything, he actually wouldn't mind being a geologist (the rock-collecting reference came back)

I think he likes how genuinely kind and friendly Copia tries to be, which unintentionally makes him stick out in the ministry. His least favorite thing is probably how much of a people pleaser he is and struggles to stand up for himself. (Although Silas is slightly projecting..)

Copia likes how Silas seems so calm and generally tries to stay out of drama (which is kinda refreshing when you're in a drama-filled place such as the ministry) Least favorite thing is actually how sometimes he's not too involved. Although I kinda specify more in his toyhouse.

Their relationship is basically