#like I know they're often left with literal seconds to try and wrap everything up in MMNI but...really...

[dreamsteddie]

AITA Steddie Au Part Three

Part Two

Hello! Sorry for the delay! This week was very busy with student conferences and my own midterms so I haven't had a lot of time to work on this. This is more of an interlude building up to bigger things, but I hope you enjoy it!

Also! Get in the comments if you have any ideas of an actual name for this series so I can stop calling it AITA Steeddie Au. I can't think of anything good 😓

------

Eddie takes Steve on that second date.

And then a third and a fourth and eventually he stops counting because he's seeing Steve as often as he can between their jobs and other responsibilities. He feels high off it, giddy with possibility and hope for this new thing that he's never had before.

Eddie has done relationships before, a couple of times. A small handful of boys and girls he took out on dates and tried his best to woo all went up in flames one way or another, but none of those relationships left him feeling so gone so fast. He felt like he was always holding himself back from giving himself up completely, too afraid of falling without a safety net to reach for that deep devotion he's always craved.

Steve makes him feel like they're plunging into that unknown together.

Still, no matter how much he's been trying to avoid it, the looming specter of what the hell to do about his friends is looming over his head.

------

"Are you fucking serious right now dude?" Eddie asks, a complicated mix of righteous anger, humiliation for himself and Steve, and complete disbelief at Gareth's unwillingness to back down from this making it increasingly difficult to keep his cool.

"Look man, all I'm saying is that Steve is like, the complete antithesis of literally everything we stand for. He's a nepo baby business major who's never had an original thought in his life! I would know! I've read one of his papers." Gareth says, forced nonchalance coloring his tone and riling Eddie up even more.

He rears up, shoulders pushing back and hands grasping at the air like he could pull down his frustration from the either and condense it into a solid ball he could lob at Garteth's head to finally knock some goddamn sense into his brain.

"Hey, hey, hey. Okay, Eddie, I'm really sorry about this. It was a fucked up idea, I don't know what we were thinking." Jeff interveins before the frustrated banshy noises Eddie is letting out turn into another yelling match that won't get anyone anywhere.

"I think we just got too caught up wanting to help you get out of this rut and it all turned into something completely insane. You don't gotta forgive us Eddie, but if there's anything we can do to try and make up for it, we'll do it. Isn't that right Gareth?" Jeff pointedly asked with a look that says agree with me right now or else.

Gareth doesn't say anything.

The thing about all of this that Eddie just can't wrap his head around is the why. Why would his friends, his sheepies, do something so cruel? He knows none of them have ever looked kindly at people like Steve. Too many traumatizing high school humiliations behind them all to trust when someone who looks so much like all the guys who bullied them in high school tries to reach out, but Gareth and Jeff have never tried something like this. In fact, it's used to be Eddie doing most of the anti-jock revenge planning back in the day, even if nothing ever actually came from it.

He thought, incorrectly it seems, that they had grown out of the worst of it by now. It's been three years since Garteth graduated, and five since Eddie made his final attempt, and leaving their hometown behind did a lot to heal old hurts.

So why this? Why now?

"Is this seriously how it's going to be man? You won't tell me what the fuck any of this was really about and you're not even going to try and apologize? Seriously?" The righteous anger is starting to seep out of him, leaving behind a bone-deep exhaustion.

Gareth just continues to stare at him defiantly, not saying a word.

Eddie pinches his nose and takes a deep breath, "You know what? Fine. Whatever. If this is how it's going to be then I'm out. Jeff, I'll talk to you later, probably not for a little bit though. Gareth?" The other man lifts his head from where he'd been looking down at his shoes. There were tears in his eyes, just a little bit but enough for Eddie to clock it. Face red from some unnamed cocktail of emotions Eddie doesn't have the energy or desire to interrogate right now. "Call me when you're ready to grow the fuck up. I've got a second date to plan."

With that, Eddie turned on his heel and made for the open garage door.

"What about the band, man?!" Gareth called.

Eddie kept walking.

-------

That was over four weeks ago.

He hasn't spoken to Gareth for most of that time. The first couple of days he blew up his phone with angry to half-apologizing texts that Eddie promptly ignored. After the second day, he sent a single text back letting him know he didn't want to talk unless he had a real explanation and apology to give both him and Steve and that he was going to block his number for a little while. He could let Freak know if he was ever ready to talk like adults. Eddie trusted him to tell if Gareth was being genuine.

In other news.

Waking up to strong arms secured around his naked waist is fast becoming Eddie's favorite way to start the day. He and Steve slept together for the first time last week, and since then it's like neither of them can get enough of each other.

"Hey, baby." Steve rasps in his ear, tilting his head down to smear sleepy kisses onto his shoulder. The hand that was resting against his ribs meanders its way down to the trail of hair under his navel, scratching just a little and making Eddie feel like a contented mutt. He's not sure if he should feel horny or like he could sink into the mattress and sleep for another full 8 if Steve keeps holding him like his.

"Mornin' sweetheart." he says deciding that a couple more hours of sleep is definitely the way to go. Steve, it seems, has other idead.

"What you thinkin' about this early in the morning?" He asks, hand continuing to scratch lazily at Eddie's stomach like he's not completely destroying Eddie's will and ability to focus on anything but the warm body behind him.

But it's been a long time coming, and as much as he doesn't want to, Eddie needs to start thinking about what he wants to do about his friends? former friends? estranged family? band and Steve deserves to be a part of the conversation.

Eddie sits up, bringing Steve up with him to rest against the headboard. "I've been thinking about the band. Gareth and Jeff, that is." He pauses, waits for some kind of reaction that doesn't come. Steve looks concerned, but not in the way he thought he would.

"Ok." Steve responds, waiting for more.

"I guess I just don't know what to do." He looks out into the middle distance of Steve's bedroom. Takes in the display of swim, basketball, and baseball trophies displayed proudly on a shelf, catching the early morning light. "I'm still so fucking mad. It's honestly kind of irritating how mad it makes me to think of what they did. It was so fucking stupid."

Steve hums a little, letting Eddie get it out.

"But at the same time I can't help but fucking miss them. Miss the music and the campaigns and everything else." It's honestly been eating him alive, the mix of anger and longing he's been feeling for his friends. The constant longing to go back in time and stop them from concocting this shit show but also, like, stalk Gareth to his 8 AM Business class so he can run into Steve and they can fall in love at first sight or some shit.

Silence.

Steve shifts. Moves so he can look Eddie right in the face. He looks thoughtful in a way that Eddie had to get used to. Sometimes when Steve is thinking hard about something, he scrunches his face in such a way that it makes him look like he's judging you. He isn't, it's just an unfortunate fact of life that his baby has a resting Judgemental Face™.

Steve heaves out a big breath, bringing Eddie back down to earth. "I mean, I don't want to, like, cloud your judgement or whatever but maybe you should try and talk to them one more time. Jeff appologized right?"

And, ok that's definetly not what Eddie was expecting to hear. It must show on his face because Steve is suddenly looking away, embaraced.

"I just..." He trails off, taking his own turn staring out at the dull shine of his old acomplishments. Eddie watches as his face once again turns pensive as he stares harder at the remnents of his high school acheivements.

"I used to be a pretty shitty guy. Did the same kind of shit your buddies did a couple of times." This isn't necessarily news to Eddie. They've talked a little about who Steve was in high school and how much work he put into himself before he decided to go back to college. It's still a bit of a shock to hear, though.

"So I get how someone can make a mistake like that, y'know? So if you want to try and talk it out, I won't be offended. I know we're in this together, now." Peace said, Steve reaches for Eddie's hand and gives it a squeeze.

It hits Eddie again, just how good Steve Harrington is. It hasn't been long, not really, since they got together but they've fallen together so completley, so easily, that it's easy to forget that there's still so much they have to learn, so many layers for Eddie to peal back. Behind every judgemental remark and complaint about the frequent phone calls he gets from chuldren he used to babysit in his hometown is a man who cares deeply and is capable of great forgiveness, even if it hasn't been earned yet.

Eddie squeezes his hand back.

"Are you sure?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, it's not we have to totally forgive them, right? But I think you need to get a real answer from both of them about why it happened. Maybe you can find a way past it, maybe they'll say something that puts the nail in the coffin." He responds.

Eddie takes a deep breath, and thinks.

Steve is right. Eddie isn't satisfied with any of the answers he got last time, and he knows that there has to be more to the story than "trying to get Eddie out of a rut" and he's not going to be able to put any of this to rest until he understands.

"Ok, yeah. I'll call them." Steve gives him an encouraging smile at that, rubbing the back of Eddie's hand where they haven't let go yet.

"Good, I'm glad. And I can come with you if you want. Hit em from both sides." he says. Eddie think's he'll take him up on that offer, but right now he had more imporant things to do. Namely, tackling his sweet boyfriend onto the mattress and having a mid morning tousle.

"We'll see. Right now I've got more imporant things to do." He says in his best aproximation of a sultry voice. He doesn't know how good it really is, but it seems to work based on the way Steve's eyes get hooded and he looks down at Eddie's mouth.

Gotcha.

Before Steve can lean down and kiss him, Eddie snaps his hands down to his boyfriend's sides in a well executed tickle atack. Steve immedietly jolts and starts howling with laughter, yelling between breaths that Eddie is "a fucking asshole" as he continues his relentless atacks.

Eventually, Steve manages to regain his bearings and go on the offence, turning them over and trapping his boyfriend's hands beneath his knees so he can atack Eddie's equally ticklish sides.

Once the late morning has passes into early noon and they've both settled back into Steve's signifigantly more rumpled be, Eddie takes one more moment to think about the furute to come before he shelves it. He knows that whatever conversation is to come, it won't be easy, and even if things go as smoothly as possible with Gareth and Jeff, things will never be the same between them all.

Looking down at Steve, who is sporting the most outrageous bedhead in human history, laughing at the stream of reals Robin sent him in the middle of the night, he thinks he'll be okay either way.

Tag List

@wheneverfeasible @the-dark-hearts @sofadofax @wrenisfangirling @whatfinestandsfor @lilpomelito @raisedbylibrarians @ollyxar @mugloversonly @xxbottlecapx @hezaaxdexangelous @kimsnooks @that-one-gay-crow @travelingtwentysomething @shoujo-wizard @stripey82 @live-laugh-love-dietrich @cr0w-culture @notaqueenakhaleesi @bookworm0690 @r0seprincess @estrellami-1 @little-annie @dreamercec @tinyplanet95 @rawrx3ky-txt @bexinator3000 @justalittledrainbamage @scarletyeager @themoonagainstmers @yesdangerpls @mydysfunctionallife @maverickricky @silentiumdelirium @i-amthepizzaman @samsoble @foolishness-and-confusion @dragonmama76 @gregre369 @thewickedkat @lexr86 @martinskis-lydias

[act2drama]

Pretty much every Mischief (and Mischief-adjacent) work: at least one character with father issues (or parental issues in general) that are dragged out for as long as possible and maybe there's some kind of a resolution at the end...maybe...

Pretty much every MMNI episode: "sure dad, I'll instantly forgive all the crap you've been putting me through throughout my formative years up to and including literally murdering me, FAMILY HUGS AND SING-ALONG TIME!"

[icallhimjoey]

Can we have a sweet and soft Christmas eve with Joey? Just the two of us? pretty please

this was requested at the perfect time, so thank you, and merry christmas my sluts! Wordcount: 1.7K

---

Still Love Me?

"I'm sorry, I'm not crying because I'm upset, d-don't worry, I just..."

You don't get like this very often. Usually, trying to be extra affectionate makes you scrunch your nose up, makes you squirm and laugh and cringe. Makes you push him away, not taking the extra hugs and kisses seriously at all.

Joe doesn't mind.

"What's wrong?"

It's actually nice to not always feel the need to give you more. To not be afraid that maybe you'd be upset after not immediately coming over to hug and kiss you when he'd walk in at the end of the day.

But something's different tonight.

It's likely the holiday stress that's getting to you. Nothing a pair of extra affectionate warm embracing arms won't fix.

"I thought we had more cheese, but all we've got left is this..."

You suppress a sob.

Unsuccessfully.

Joe knows the tears are only there because all of everything has come together for the perfect storm, and you're just about ready to fall apart.

It's sort of cute that it's a lack of cheese that does it, and Joe's secretly glad it's not something that he'd done or said that got you. That it's not his fault, and that he doesn't have to apologise over something unimportant.

It's fine, though, the crying.

Joe had been ready for it.

He's got steady hands and is prepared to catch whatever needs catching. Knows how to put you back together just fine.

"Why did I do this? I've got to stop sneaking things, I– look, there's no... this is all we've got..."

You've got family coming over tomorrow, and it's the first year that your place is the spot for the big get together. It's nerve-racking in new ways you didn't know existed before because you're bringing both sets of parents in, and all you want to do is make the family proud.

Be the perfect daughter.

Have the stepmothers and stepdads get along as well as all of the divorced people. All of the siblings. Step-siblings.

Fuck, there's too many people coming over.

Could you still cancel, do you think?

You just... you just want Christmas be wholesome, and festive, and cosy, full of laughter and love and just... have it be perfect.

It's almost become a bit of a passion project, and it's quite literally driven you mad.

Well. Driven you to tears, at least.

Joe looks over and sees you hold a little block of brie cheese. It's not much, and it's got a bite taken out of it.

"Wait, did you–" Joe's already smiling, because what the fuck is he looking at right now? His girlfriend's got tears in her eyes and is stood in front of the opened fridge door, holding a bit of French cheese that has teeth marks in.

Surely, you are able to imagine what this looks like from his point of view.

It's at least a little funny.

But another sob wracks from your chest and all Joe can do is step closer and wrap arms around your shaking frame.

He's allowed to laugh as he does so.

"I didn't know- I thought we had more, b-but this was all we have, and I snuck a bite last night, because I– I was peckish and just wanted a little something, and–"

"Hey," Joe leans back and gets your face in both his hands. He's still smiling. Can't not smile, because this is ridiculous, but you also look very cute. Red nose. Fat tears stuck in your eyelashes. The colour of your eyes about ten times brighter because of the unshed ones.

"We'll serve 'em dry crackers, and they'll fucking take what they're given, all right?"

You pout and hold up the evidence of your late-night-snack-run in your own kitchen from the night before. It's right in between your faces and gives Joe a chance to really see the cause of the outburst.

"Still love me?"

Joe looks at the brie a second and then lurches forward with a growl, sinking teeth into the soft cheese for a bite of his own.

"Still love you." he replies, mouth full of cheese.

You can't help the choking laugh, head cocking to the side as a defeated soft chuckle leaves you. It only makes Joe want to grab hold of you tighter.

"Hmm," Joe hums, now chewing, and he frowns. "This is good. We should–" he can't finish the sentence without laughing, knowing it's likely the wrong thing to say, but he's already started the sentence. You get a good eyeful of the cheese in his mouth, in between his teeth. "We should get more of this."

Well, you can't.

Hence the crying.

You pout once more and then groan. It's so stupid, you're well aware. You just need a bit of sleep. Your family won't hate you because there's no cheese.

And if anything, you could throw it into the group chat and are sure that at least three people have some brie to bring along tomorrow.

You really are just very tired.

"Tell you what," Joe says, now taking the little piece of cheese from your fingers, one arm still around you. "We'll finish this, have some hot chocolate and just... relax. Watch a Christmas film. Tomorrow is tomorrow and tonight is tonight, you've done enough prepping and it'll all be fine–"

"Perfect." you correct.

It's important that everything will be perfect.

"It'll all be perfect." Joe coos, voice smooth like butter.

You sniff and look at him a moment. He's still chewing. Smiling. Joe's being all playful and it's reminding you of why you love him so much. Glancing into the living room, you know Joe's right. Everything's ready. Everything's done.

It's Christmas Eve.

"Calm before the storm." you sigh, patting Joe where you're holding onto him. Then lower down, quick touch to the bum. Joe easily lets you.

"Calm before the storm." he confirms before you let go of each other. You move to collect yourself, wiping fingers below your eyes, and Joe opens a cupboard to get to mugs out and says, "And I'll go get extra cheese tomorrow, it'll be fine."

You're about to protest. Tell him that the shop you usually go to won't be open. It'll be Christmas. And everyone's stocked up already. Shelves are empty all over. But Joe sees it across your face before you can say anything and adds, "I'll find some, don't worry about it."

And so you don't.

You accept a kiss to your temple, a deep inhale of your hair and you tilt your head for a kiss on the lips. A quiet thank you.

After a squeeze of your arm, Joe gets started on the hot chocolate and you decide to see if there's anything good on TV or if it'll be Netflix for the night.

Before you've been able to make a choice, you hear mugs being filled and you scurry back into the kitchen. You get to the fridge before Joe does, which was the plan. You find the can of squirty cream amongst all of the food and drink - your fridge has never been this full. It's almost triggeringly full; so much food, yet so little cheese.

It takes you too long, and Joe joins to look over your shoulder, to see if he can spot it before you do.

He doesn't.

You find it and giggle excitedly, a little delirious (you've gone mad, remember?) as you shake it with a wild arm. Your demeanor is the opposite of what it was minute earlier.

No tears. Just manic laughter.

Makes Joe laugh just the same. His girlfriend's gone insane and, if he's honest, he's kind of into it.

You spray some cream into both mugs that Joe's filled with hot chocolate, and before you place it back into the fridge, you shake the can again.

"You just said you should stop sneaking things," Joe isn't exactly trying to stop you, but he knows what you're about to do. Feels like it's worth saying something, to maybe prevent a further break down.

It's of no use, though.

His comment makes you glance him pointed a look. It's ridiculous of him to assume you'd been serious. Of course you're not going to stop sneaking things. He doesn't see the deadpan stare you give him because he's busy placing mini marshmallows onto your drinks, but despite the advice, you go for it anyway.

You tip your head back and spray some of the cream directly into your mouth.

"My God," Joe says when you let it go for a little too long, and when he looks, he barks a laugh.

You've overdone it.

It's too much.

Well, is it ever too much? Not really. But it doesn't fit into your mouth and thus there's a problem. This is going to be messy.

With your head still tilted back, you release a small sound of panic at the inability to close your mouth and raise a cupped hand, ready to catch whatever is going to spill.

But Joe knows just the perfect fix, and he's quick.

Before you know what's happening, your boyfriend's got his hand on the back of your neck, digging in strong fingers and guiding your head forward.

Just before whatever your lips can't curl around is about to slide down your chin, Joe's mouthing at it and manages to get it all, tongue licking and lips closing around your opened ones.

What follows is a weird, full-cheeked sticky, creamy, sugary kiss that has you giggling into each others mouths.

It's still messy, but you'd easily do this again. Would it be too obvious if you just went for an insane mouthful once more?

Joe pulls back, sees he's missed a bit and doesn't hesitate to lick at the corner of your mouth, making you shriek with your mouth closed, pushing him away.

"You're gross," you say fondly after swallowing.

He's also adorably sweet, but he doesn't need telling.

Joe lets his head bobble back a little as he silently laughs, wiping at his own mouth with the back of his hand, glad to have been of service.

"Yea? Still love me?"

Tomorrow's going to be fine.

There's no cheese but for the little chunk you're about to share. It'll likely be all gone if you both have a single cracker with some on.

And there probably also won't be any squirty cream left, what with your plan to bring the can over to the sofa for top-ups after you've eaten all of it off. Or, you know, after you've sprayed more of it into your mouth just so Joe can eat it out of there again.

You families can have hot chocolate without any, and Joe's right. They'll fucking take what they'll be given and be grateful.

Or, Joe can find some tomorrow.

Somewhere.

Whatever.

You're no longer fussed.

It's Christmas. Christmas Eve.

"Still love you." you beam, because you do.

You really, really do.

---

The Taglisted

@adoreyouusugar, @alana4610, @ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @barfightzanddiscolightz, @bettyfrommars, @cancankiki, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @chrissymjstan, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @dylanmunson, @eddies-puppet, @electricmunson, @emma77645, @emmamooney, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @frootvelvet, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @harringtonfan4, @haylaansmi, @jasminearondottir, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @kellyxo1, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @miserybeans, @nadixq, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @roosterisdaddy36, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @thebellenouvelle, @thewondernanazombie, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[toomuchracket]

club nights (literal d word matty x reader smut)

day 16 of summer75!! post-baby, post-dh2 launch fuckery of the anal variety (girly getting it). surprisingly fluffy. enjoy! <3

the lights are hot on your skin as you dance, pulsing strobes illuminating everything and everyone in the club in stark white; still, they're nowhere near as warm as matty, pressed up behind you with a hand on your hip, your left arm slung lazily back around his neck as you move against him. kelly's set is good, and so is the vodka cranberry in your free hand, bass and booze coming together in your body and making you wanna move. you feel free. you feel happy. you feel sexy, although you're not sure if that's because of the night itself or because of your boyfriend, whose hands have been wandering all over you practically ever since you left the house.

you smile when he kisses your neck, giggling when he blows a raspberry. matty giggles too, smiling into your perfumed skin. “y'having a good time, gorgeous girl?”

“the best time,” you turn to face him, heart fluttering when you re-realise how fucking hot he looks. sure, you've fancied matty for almost a decade longer than you've known him, but lately he's been looking extra delicious to you - then again, you have just had his baby. your hormones must be going mental. “we should go out dancing more often, babe. s'fun when i'm doing it with you.”

matty raises an eyebrow, but he keeps smiling sweetly. “we've literally got a newborn at home, and you want us to start raving regularly?”

“yes i do.”

he laughs, leaning down to kiss you; it's not a long one, but you're woozy when he pulls away regardless. “so do i, darling. kinda obsessed with dancing with you like this, you know?” his hands continue their earlier trail across you, gentle yet eager. “can feel everything. fucking love it.”

oh, if he only knew.

you lean up to peck his lips. “could you maybe possibly feel your way to the bar to get me a refill, baby?”

“‘course,” matty pecks you in return, hands coming up to hold your face while he beams. “m'proud of you, you know. for lyla, obviously, but also for this,” he gestures to the crowds, too busy dancing to notice him. “s'your night too, sweetheart. enjoy it.”

you do just that while he slinks off to get your drink, hugging george to say “we did it!”, dancing with charli, catching up with your friends from the band and bea and amber, most of which is spent gushing over your baby girl, staying at home with both of her grandmothers at present. bea squeals when you show her a picture of lyla, and clutches amber's arm, tipsy-overwhelmed. “she is so cute! oh my god. i mean, she looks like a little doll. i love her!”

“bea, i'm actually obsessed with her,” you giggle. “you're lucky we even made it out tonight - got to the front door like five separate times before either me or matty teared up and had to go back for a cuddle.”

amber laughs. “he was telling me he wished he could've brought her with you.”

“god, he's a nightmare.”

“who is?” matty sidles up to you, handing you your drink and ruffling bea's hair - she swats him away, and he laughs, giving amber a half-hug before wrapping his free arm around your waist.

you smile at him, saccharine. “you, trying to bring our baby to a rave.”

“what? she'd love it,” he elbows you playfully. “she's her mother's daughter.”

“he's not wrong with that bit, to be fair,” amber takes a sip of her drink. “it is actually quite scary how much she looks like you.”

bea winks at you. “well, she knows what's good for her.”

everyone but matty collapses into giggles; he glares at bea for a second, then smiles. “yeah, she does. i mean,” he cups your face, squishing your cheeks playfully. “who wouldn't steal this face if they could?” dropping your face in favour of taking your hand, he turns to your friends. “see you in a bit, yeah?”

with that, matty leads you further into a darkened corner, weaving through vape clouds and various friends before leaning against the wall. you smirk, raising your eyebrows at him and leaning close so he can hear you over the music. “this feels… familiar.”

“what- oh,” he nods slowly, smirk matching your own. “nina's birthday. i remember,” his face softens, lost in a memory, before he speaks, matter-of-fact. “first time i ever saw you in red lingerie, that night.”

you choke on your vodka, eyes wide as you try to regain breath. “matthew!”

“what? m'just being honest. you don't forget a thing like that, darling, trust me.”

“christ,” you shake your head. “you're mental, you know that, yeah?”

“you're even more mental,” he bites back, but the love in his eyes is clear even in the club lighting. “having a baby with me, and all.”

“true,” you down your drink and lay the glass down, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend's neck for a cuddle; his find home around your waist, lips softly pressing against your hair. “i miss her.”

“me too. mum says she's good as gold, though. which, again, is all you. my perfect girls.”

you smile into his chest. “love you. we both do.”

“oh, i love you both, so much,” matty leans down to kiss you, soft and sweet and slow; there's an undercurrent of lust, though, in the way he lightly bites at your lip and takes his time releasing it. “dance with me?”

you kiss him quickly again. “always, my love.”

and you do. you jump around like maniacs in excitement during george's set, holding hands and giggling and singing along, and when you shriek with total joy as soon as you hear yeah i know, matty cackles and pulls you close for a kiss. you stay like that for the rest of the song, wrapped around each other while you move to the beat, matty's face tucked into your neck in an adorable mixture of shyness at hearing his own voice and emotion about his best friend in the whole world taking such a big step in his career; actually, you stay like that for the rest of the set, so close it's hard to tell where matty ends and you begin, bodies grinding and sparking heat in each other in both the literal and metaphorical senses. by the time the night ends, the two of you are pretty fucking desperate for each other, kissing so sloppily while sharing a cig at the taxi rank that your friends can't help wolf-whistling and cheering and throwing digs like “oh, lyla's about to get a sibling!” at you.

you kiss in the taxi, too, little snippets of snogging and matty's hands roaming all over your thighs in between the driver yapping about this that and the next thing on the way to the hotel. matty does his best to answer politely, reluctantly breaking away from your lips to talk while you giggle behind your hand, but his exasperation is obvious - naturally, you rip the piss out of him for it when he throws you on the bed and climbs atop you to kiss you properly. “babe, i'm not going to disappear if you unattach your lips from mine for a few seconds, you know.”

he licks your nose in response, smiling when you shriek. “how else am i meant to show you how much i love and also fancy you?”

you shuffle down to kiss his neck, enjoying the way his breath shakes, dragging your lips up past his jaw to whisper in his ear. “fuck me.”

“oh, baby,” matty sighs, pressing his forehead to yours. “i wish i could, but, y'know… it's still too soon after you gave birth, darling,” he pulls back, confusion etched on his pretty face. “what are you smiling like that for? that's your sneaky smile.”

it drops, in favour of an expression of bewilderment. “my what?”

“you know, the face you make when you're up to something,” your boyfriend cocks his head, squinting at you. “are you trying to get me to fuck your mouth?”

“nah.”

“tits?”

“that would actually be a lot of fun, but also no.”

“hmmm,” matty thinks for a second, then sighs - you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing at how clueless he's being. “nope, you've got me. explain, please, darling.”

“if you let me stand up for a second, i can show you what i mean.”

matty nods, rolling off you and lying propped up on his elbow while you move off the bed. he groans when you start undressing, slipping out of your cargo trousers and shucking your top off without breaking eye contact with him. “fuck, princess, you're so hot,” he claps a hand over his mouth when you raise an eyebrow at the pet name. “sorry, darling. muscle memory, i s'pose.”

“s'alright, daddy,” you wink, turning away from him to let him get a good view of your ass in your sheer panties; you bend forward, slightly, and you hear his breath hitch. “seems we're both thinking along those lines, yeah?”

it takes him a second to respond, but when he does, it's delicious - a calloused finger traces up from your slick core towards your other hole, and he speaks in a whisper. “you're plugged?”

“yeah, i am,” you toss your hair over your shoulder and your gaze follows, focusing on your wide-eyed boyfriend. “because i want you to fuck my ass tonight, matty.”

for a moment, there's silence, a tension permeating the air that you can't quite name. nerves begin to flutter in your stomach; they're dissolved almost instantly when matty flops unceremoniously onto his stomach, almost inaudibly shouting “fuck!” into the fancy bedding before rolling back to face you with defiant lust in his eyes. “you serious?”

“wouldn't have the plug in if i wasn't.”

he sighs, then smiles almost shyly. “part of me thinks i should be against this, but,” he sits up, tugging you to stand between his legs with a kiss to your stomach. suddenly, you're on his lap, and you can't stop beaming - he is so fucking hard. “who would i be if i didn't give my princess what she wanted, especially after everything she's done for me lately?”

your heart soars, and all you can do is kiss him, an absolute head-melter of a kiss that only stokes the heat between your legs, makes you grind even harder against your boyfriend than you were in the club. “thank you, daddy. love you.”

“i love you,” matty smiles against your lips. “missed you calling me that, you know.”

“more than you've missed being inside me?”

he laughs, the soft chuckle he reserves for the two girls he loves most in the world. “nothing i've missed more than that, gorgeous. can i… now?”

“yeah,” you breathe, desperate. “how do you want me?”

matty thinks for a second. “lie on your back for me, sweet girl, get comfy. that sound alright?”

“perfect,” with a final little kiss, you climb off him, shuffling up to rest your head on the plush pillows. as you undo your bra, the fluttering restarts in your stomach; instead of nerves, though, the butterflies are borne of excitement as you watch matty undress. he looks inquisitively at your weekend bag, and you know what it is he wants. “the lube is in the side pocket, by the way. packed a bullet vibe, too, but i honestly don't know if i'll need it.”

your boyfriend hums happily, climbing back onto you, bottle in hand. “so turned on you only need daddy fucking that pretty ass to make you cum?” he coos, thumb sliding across your lips - when you take it between them, he beams. “my little slut.”

god, you've missed this. “only yours. always.”

“perfect girl,” matty murmurs. “gonna fuck you now, yeah? you know your colours.”

“yeah.”

“good girl,” he sits back, tapping your thigh as a sign for you to lift your legs so he can slip your underwear off. his pupils dilate at the sight of the plug, but a sweet smile appears on his lips. “brat green jewel?”

“couldn't not buy it - oh, fuck,” you whimper as matty begins to toy with the plug, every movement sending a burst of pleasure through you. “feels good.”

“yeah? can i take it out, princess?”

you nod enthusiastically. “please. want you inside me, daddy.”

your boyfriend swears under his breath, snapping open the bottle of lube and squeezing some onto his hand; you watch with proper interest as he slicks himself up, practically drooling at the sight of him essentially wanking himself off. he grins when he notices you staring. “you're cute, baby,” he leans forward to kiss you, trailing a hand down your body to play with the plug again. “reckon you'll be even cuter taking my dick, though.”

it isn't so much a word than a whine that leaves your lips. “please.”

“alright, darling,” looking carefully at your face, he begins to gently twist the plug out of you - when you whimper, he pauses. “this okay?”

“yes, yes,” you pant. “keep going, please.”

matty nods, obliging you quickly; you feel the plug pop out, and he moans. “fuck, princess, you look so pretty, all ready for me like that. are you ready, sweetheart? what's your colour?”

as if it could be anything else. “green.”

he beams, kissing your forehead. “good girl. my best girl,” he coos, smiling when you giggle deliriously. “gonna slip in now, alright?”

“hold my hand?”

“always,” he takes your right hand in his left, kissing it before holding it on your stomach. you watch, breathless, as he takes his dick in the other hand, tentatively nudging it against your hole - as the head eases inside you, stretching ever so slightly, you exhale, stuttered, and matty looks tenderly down at you. “oh, my darling,” his voice is just as shaky as your breath, little whimpers leaving his lips the more he inches - well, centimetres - into you. “colour?”

you can barely comprehend him, the intimacy of the moment combining with the pleasure and clouding your brain. but still, you answer, voice nothing more than a whisper. “green. please don't stop.”

“okay,” he breathes, hand moving to your hip to steady himself. “almost fully in, princess. taking me so fucking well, feel amazing.”

you beam, dazed. “good,” your jaw drops as he finally bottoms out, eyes fluttering closed. “oh.”

“i know, darling, i know,” matty caresses your face. “d'you need a second?”

“yes please.”

“anything you want,” his lips find yours, the sweetness of his kiss completely incongruous with the fact the two of you are literally doing anal right now. but it's not totally innocent - matty's lust for you is clear from the way he kisses, and it energises you enough to pull back and bite your lip at him, a silent hint that you're ready for the next step. he takes it immediately. “you want me to fuck you properly, now, princess?”

you nod, doe-eyed. “yes, daddy.”

and that's exactly what he does.

it starts slow, of course, matty gently thrusting into you with his arms braced on either side of your head and his lips pressing soft kisses all across your face; when the desperation gets too much for you to bear and you give him the go-ahead, though, he begins to roll his hips with a bit more force into yours, little gasps leaving both of your lips and foreheads touching tenderly. you don't know whether or not it's purely psychological, more to do with the eroticism and intimacy of the act than the actual sex itself, but you can feel the pleasure jolting through you every time matty's hips meet yours, travelling through your nervous system to the familiar place in the pit of your stomach.

all in all, you can't remember ever being so turned on in your life. matty seems to think so, too, eyes widening when he looks down to watch your bodies joining as one. “fuck, princess, your pussy's so wet right now. can feel it dripping on me,” his voice is joyous; so are you, when he runs a finger over it and settles it at your clit. “you really needed daddy to fuck you, didn't you, sweet girl?”

“yeah.”

“needed this too, darling, so fucking much,” matty smiles sleepily above you, kissing you sloppily. “fuck, need to make you cum, too. can i?”

you smile back, equally as fucked. “can do whatever you want to me.”

he laughs, breathy and beautiful. “i love you.”

“i love you,” you pout for a kiss, smiling and gasping into him when he starts to properly work your clit with two fingers. “mmm, just like that, yes. don't stop.”

thank fuck your boyfriend isn't feeling mean tonight - he does as you say, keeping a steady rhythm with his hips and a consistent pattern with his fingers, cooing praises and promises into your neck in a determined attempt to get you off. a successful attempt, too, it turns out; within a few minutes (although your grasp on measuring time is probably dire at present), you're clutching at matty's shoulders, head buried in the crook of his neck, crying into him as you hurtle towards the precipice of orgasm. with a whimpered plea of “cum for me, princess, please”, you fall into bliss, clenching vice-tight around matty's dick and shaking like a leaf. that's enough to set him off, too, and he cums with a hoarse groan and an “oh, i fucking love you”, hips growing weaker and weaker as his orgasm wears off.

he doesn't linger afterwards, though. as soon as he can physically do so, matty's pulling himself up to hover over you, looking intently into your eyes to check how far you've slipped into subspace. despite the gravitas of the night, you're fairly lucid, and he smiles, satisfied with that, as he strokes your face. “you,” he begins. “are a fucking dream.”

“stop it,” you giggle, trying to burrow into his chest. “you're pussy-drunk. well,” you correct yourself as matty laughs. “not quite, tonight. but you know what i mean!”

“i do know, darling, i do,” he kisses your nose. “but you really are incredible. and i'd say that even if i wasn't balls-deep in your ass right now, so…”

“oh my god.”

matty laughs. “my cue to pull out?”

“i think so, yeah,” you grin. “mostly cos i wanna shower and go to sleep, honestly.”

“whatever you want, my love - hold my hand, by the way, this might feel weird… there we go,” matty winces, in tandem with you, as he slips out. his eyes widen as he takes in the sight of his cum dripping from you. “never ever gonna get over that,” he leans back to kiss you again. “thank you for letting me do that, by the way, darling. m'the luckiest bastard on the planet.”

you laugh. “and don't you forget it!”

he smiles softly, and you fall in love with him all over again. “never gonna happen.”

[angrypedestrian]

It's halfway through the year! Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

I'm gonna be honest, I feel like I have been VERY behind on reading/watching/listening to ANYTHING this year. I've only gotten through 3 books, and have big to listen to/to watch/to play piles, but! I shall try to find something to rec.

Books/Comics I have only read 3 books this year and I hattteeee it, but at least one of them was Hanif Abdurraqib's A Little Devil In America, which I finally got around to after buying it almost 3 years ago. 1000% must read imo. I'm sitting on his new one that came out a couple months ago, and I AM going to read this year. I AM. Also, I went to go see him speak a few weeks ago and he complimented my Fireworks shirt because he is one of the few people who loves them as much as I do.

I have read a lot of comics this year though! James Tynion's The Deviant is probably the one I would recommend to you most specifically, it is VERY dark, but VERY good. It's still in progress though, but I think should be wrapped up by the end of the year. Also Jeff Lemire's Phantom Road. It's real weird, I dunno what the hell is going on with it, but I'm enjoying the ride so far. Jeff has another book running right now called Fishflies, which is more traditional Lemire, weird and sad and Canadian. Also very good, but Phantom Road is the one I'm currently enjoying more of the two if I had to pick.

TV/Movies I finally got around to watching the first season of The Terror, which I was a FOOL for missing out on when it was first released. What a fucking television program!!! But other than that, I think anything else you might be interested in that I've seen you've already watched lol. I don't know if Julio Torres' work is up your alley, but his new show Fantasmas is fucking great so far. Very in the weirdo vein of Los Espookys, or like, literally anything he has ever created.

In a weird twist I've watched a lot more movies this year than TV, which hasn't happened in perhaps ever? My biggest recommendation will be for The People's Joker, which unfortunately is not available to stream anywhere yet, I don't think, but hopefully should be soon. I also, to very much my own surprise, really enjoyed the Glenn Powell vehicle Hit Man. Richard Linklater I think can be very hit or miss, but this one was fun if bizarre.

Music I've been trying very hard not to get caught up in the FOMO of roughly 40 albums being released a week that I want to listen to. I think I've finally hit a wall of how much new music I can actually sit down and listen to and appreciate in a given week, so this year has been an exercise in letting go of the need to be on top of everything the second that it drops.

There's this band called Super American that I love, and I can't really figure out why? They're a scrappy little pop-rock-ish duo thing, and they can write hooks for days, but it's often mixed with some of the corniest shit I've ever heard. There's one track on their new record (called Gangster of Love, I fucking hate it) that has a part that sounds like a fucking LFO song. It should suck! I don't know why I don't think it sucks! So your mileage may really vary with that one, but I think baseline it's a fun and silly little summer record.

Also, I can't believe I'm saying this, but the new Story So Far album...rules? Truly did not expect it at all. Parker I am so sorry your dad died, but my god you guys wrote some of your best songs out of it. And for a left-er field rec, the new Hurray for the Riff Raff that came out earlier this year is fantastic, a kind of meandering back to some of their original sound, but in such a more realized way than those earlier records. Just a very gentle and beautiful album.

[ceaseless-watchers-special-girl]

Not to obliterate any consistency my blog has but like. Can I talk about Catullus for a hot sec

No one who follows me is under any obligation to read this whatsoever. It's rambling I just have a lot of feelings ok

Catullus 64, man. This fucking poem. I fell in love with it literally before I even read it — I got part of it printed onto a fucking blanket so I can curl up underneath this poem and be all wrapped up in it.

Today, we read a section where he describes Bacchus coming to find Ariadne after she's been abandoned on Naxos. Catullus describes him as 'te quaerens, Ariadna' (seeking you, Ariadne). Now I could get into everything my Latin teacher said about how seeking is often used to mean love, the link it has to Sappho SAPPHO LOVE OF MY LIFE MARRY ME PLS but that's not what I've been thinking about for the entire day.

"You, Ariadne". Let's think about that for a second. Catullus isn't writing direct speech anymore, it's supposed to be the omniscient narrator talking. Who tf is talking to Ariadne here? Narrators are not supposed to talk to the characters they speak about.

But here, he does. He can't help himself. He calls out to Ariadne, he is overwhelmed by the sorrow that consumes her because Theseus has left her SON OF A BITCH THESEUS HOW COULD YOU FUCKING ROT IN HELL and Catullus can't stop himself from calling out to her, trying to tell her that someone is coming for her, that she is not being left to die. He is so moved by the plight he has written for her that he calls out to her as if she were there with him, as if he could console her.

Catullus is writing in the style of an epic. Narrators of epics only call out to heroes at moments of intense emotion. Wanna know the example I was given that absolutely crushed me? Patroclus. In the Iliad, Homer calls out to Patroclus during his final fight before his death. I know you bitches who've read the Song of Achilles find that devastating.

Just. Fucking. Authors so connected to their characters that they forget they're narrating for a second. They let their own voice slip into the narrative, a desperate cry to let the characters know they're not alone. To praise them, to console them, to say I know you and I love you and I am so, so sorry.

And I know Catullus didn't forget shit. I know he wrote that in on purpose. But fuck, it hits hard.

[wizard-hubris]

I think Orym started out as a boring morality check character, but as ExU went on he took a step back a bit and went with the flow and I think that’s where he resides best

I would like Liam to take the character in a direction similar to where Tal took Cad where he has beliefs and value, but shares them when necessary instead of all the time because that can be really irritating as a viewer wanting to see the group make decisions instead of just one character

Interesting perspective, thank you for sharing! The thing is, the way Liam talked about Orym (in the wrap-up for ExU and otherwise), I'm pretty sure he wasn't even meant to be that kind of morality check. It just happened because the rest of the ExU characters were...well, who they were.

An important factor that shouldn't be forgotten is party size. In ExU, they were a smaller group, so everybody appears to be a bit...more? Has to contribute more ? I'm not sure how to really say what I mean in English for this part, I'm sorry. Maybe you catch my drift anyways. But now, we're back to seven/currently eight party members with a moral compass yet to be determined, but from the sheer size I'd argue that Orym's position will be at least a bit different.

Then, there's also the other players. ExU was half new players and, as a lot of other people said, I am sure Liam accomodated that with his playstyle to give them a bit of room to figure and test everything out.

Also, Liam/Orym (however you want to see it in that case) is not gonna make decisions for the group singlehandedly, don't you worry. First of all, Liam is too experienced a player at this collaborative group game to start doing that left and right. Second, Orym is basically allergic to taking the leader position (which I actually hope will be a big part of his personal arc and character growth), why the hell would he make decisions for those people he doesn't even really know yet. Third, do you really think even if Liam would for some strange reason try and get Orym's opinion as the decision making one all the time, that the other cast members wouldn't push back against that if they want to come to other decisions? They're all grown-ups and they all have experience playing and playing together, I'm sure they know how to let one of them know if they want an aspect of their playstyle toned down.

I... this is not meant to sound catty or negative and please know that I love Tal and Caduceus to pieces, but Cad shared his beliefs and values at all times, especially when it wasn't really asked for or helpful to the situation? Cad was that guy. He often thought his opinions and beliefs were the only right way. It was an integral character flaw but one that made him amazingly complicated and fascinating to watch. It was just more pertinent to personal problems than the overarching story/goals of the group, I suppose, so maybe it feels less impactful in comparison? Maybe?

Plus, Orym literally repeats himself over and over again with "I'm not the leader, what is your opinion on this, I'd prefer this but what do you want to do?" In ExU at least, he almost always did what the others wanted no matter how little he liked it with very few but notable exceptions. Or...are we, as a fandom still on about that Poska thing and Orym not wanting to take the deal? Because...personal opinion time...he was absolutely right. Or do you mean that he was worried about his group having the vestige of divergence of a betrayer god? Because that also seems like a reasonable reaction.

Please don't forget that the very first scene we (and very first impression non-ExU viewers) got of Orym in the new campaign was him being exasperated at his friend for pickpocketing a priest and worried that they'll get into trouble. He didn't chew her out beyond a slight scolding. He didn't ask her to give it back. He clearly didn't entirely approve but that's all he did. Dorian was being more of an anxious goody-two-shoes about it than Orym, in fact.

Maybe we should all just wait for the next episodes to really get a feel for the group dynamic, because at this point there is literally no way to get anything but empty speculations about it.

Sorry this got so long, I really appreciate your point of view, but it just got a lot of opinions out of me. Hopefully you find at least some parts of my answer interesting, as well.

[jiminrings]

Can I request a drabble, hobi is kinda like a band singer and Y/N is like his old time friend and they like had a falling out bc he got super successful but years after they're like together again? IS IT TOO SPECIFIC UHM :")

parallel

pairing: hoseok x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: hobi’s kind of an asshole and is vERY much emotionally repressed, y/n’s serotonin is dependent on wearing bridesmaid gowns, the dwindling one-sided pining anD the everlasting question of where the fuck was hoseok when you needed him :D // gif is from pinterest!

notes: this drabble really hits close to home and tysm for the request babe!! even if i’m a month late yeesh :O

you can’t believe yourself either when you say it

but holy shit — weddings are definitely your thing!

there’s something about the union of marriage that gets your head into overdrive but in a gOOD way

there’s just something so pulling about last-minute changes and family drama and awkward trips to the restroom that make your mind mHMMMM THIS IS IT CHIEF

yea granted that not every wedding you go and participate in isn’t exactly straight out of a rom-com

lmao sometimes it’s so obvious that the bride doesn’T love the groom but hey!!! who’s keeping tabs :D

you love wedding environments so much that here you are, two years out of uni and a couple of gigs later — couples are LITERALLY fighting over you

heh not to brag but uh

you weren’t recognized as best wedding planner for two years in a row and have your face in multiple covers of bridal magazines and such

time magazine recognized you as one of the most influential people in the scene last year but hey !!!!! no big deal lads

“i am asking you for just one minute, y/n!! stop being a wedding planner and start being my maid of honor!!”

nayeon exasperates and tugs you by your sleeve, having already noticed your second nature of taking charge the moment you entered the hall

after all, this is just cake tasting! that’s why she’s brought her maid of honor to help her out, nOT immediately go fishing for a clipboard

“well if the planner you hired wasn’t so sloppy-...” it’s a fact! he relies too much on his tablet and doesn’t even have any paper with him, and even if he’s already using a tablet, he doesn’t even use different colors to mark out!

apparently nayeon can’t handle the truth because she’s stamping her hand to your mouth that’s already a frown, about to suffocate you if only you didn’t bite it

>:|

y/n - 1 | jisoo’s hand - 0

you’re just a lil bit cranky alright

the last wedding you’ve catered to was just three days ago, and well you’re thankful for your job!!! really!!! bc not everyone is as booked as you nor sought-for

but there’s something about her wedding that puts you off :((

she’s very kindly yet firmly told you that no, you would absolutely not be her wedding planner and coordinator

“b-but i-“

“i want you to relax! and it’s-...”

“we said-“

“we said when we were kids that we’d plan each other’s wedding, but we didn’t swear on it! and i want you to-...”

“y-you told-“

“i told you that we didn’t have a wedding planner yet so you’d intentionally clear your schedule for me! and here we are-...”

“i’ll cry-“

“aww you big baby, save it for the wedding! i told you, just relax, m’kay? let yoongi handle the planning, and you do the unwinding.”

goddamn yoongi

yoongi who’s a wedding planner in his sPARE time could fuck right off

you don’t care if he’s very persuasive and firm and happened to book nayeon’s wedding even it was peak season :((

you don’t wanna admit it, but being a wedding planner has basically been your personality trait for the past years and it’s hard to cope when your job is to not.... plan and worry

anyways besides that

you’re a little iffy because nayeon’s wedding is your wake-up call

you’ve been planning weddings.... but uh when the FUCK is yours

u are so tempted to put a sock over your head and just yell gIVE ME A RING!!! PUT IT IN THE BAG

unfortunately, you don’t even have someone in your life to readily propose to you

you would have had someone, actually —

if only hoseok didn’t wake up one day and decide to remove you from his life

if only your childhood friend didn’t suddenly decide that you’re not worthy of his attention and time!!!

god he thinks he’s a bigshot

and well yea ok he IS a bigshot

who doesn’t know jung hoseok at this point :((

you’ve always figured that he’d be successful at whatever path he chooses and for a moment, you feel sorry for him that he’s stuck in such a state of mundaneness

he’s stuck between home and school and since he has no choice — you

your each other’s day one!!! the moment your mom went home from the hospital, her first instinct was to knock on hoseok’s mom’s door and then iMMEDIATELY present you to her

the two of them are absolute best friends and why not make our babies the same way ya know????

the two of you were apparently so close as babies that when one was crying, the other would comfort

and you weren’t even a year old then????

you’ve shared cribs and milk bottles and clothes and everything in between with hobi

so why is it that when you’re just almost at the peak of your life with graduation, he just suddenly decides to drop you?

he’s suddenly too cool for you as if he hasn’t spent countless nights crying on your shoulder for any inconveniece that gets brought up

he can’t even meet your eyes :(((

that’s why graduation is the blandest and emptiest day you could recall

hoseok is over there with his bandmates looking the absolute hAPPIEST and you’re there by the corner.,.,. alone by yourself feeling like your cap has the words dropped by jung hoseok :D all over it

he’s at his peak and at the top of his life performing and touring, whenever and wherever

he’s happy

but without you in it :(

the irrational (and probably rational) part in your head is beyond infuriated at him because atleast offer an explanation!!! if you did wrong at one point, then he should tell you!!!

not suddenly pretend that you were nEVER in his life

even his mom feels guilty and ashamed over his son’s actions so she orders flowers from the shop signed underneath your company, then send it back to you

for awhile she tried to pretend that it was hoseok but no :((( that man will physically convulse if he doesn’t add (atleast) three hearts after his name

you hate him so much that you still religiously visit his instagram and wonder if he could see your likes despite a couple other million liking the same posts

you hate him so much that he’s number one on every single thing in your spotify wrapped 

you hate him sO much that you wonder who’s behind the songs his band plays and how you’d wish that you’d be the one he’s writing about

“is the cake that... perfect?”

nayeon gently places a hand on your shoulder to which you flinch and she backs off because christ i’m nOT taking the cake away from you!!!

oh my god why are you tearing up

“yeah, yeah! it’s so good. you should try it nayeon!” you’re scrambling to scrape up your plate, almost shoving the fork into her mouth as she squeals with the sudden attack

yoongi has ???? hovering around his head but this is nOT about you my man

he sneaks a look to the bride’s plate and uh-huh... yup..... she has the same moist chocolate fudge cake with coffee ganache on her alright

the topic of hoseok that you bring up to yourself, one that no one knows (not even nayeon!!!), is just something that never seems to vacate your mind fully

it’s been two years and you’re still so touchy and you dON’T KNOW WHY

he probably doesn’t even think about you when he’s drunk and bored

“this champagne must be so... nice?���

nayeon thinks out loud as you’re once again crying into doing your maid of honor duties

she’s a lil worried if she’s being honest but you always whisk her away when she’s about to ask

like right now :D

“are you-...”

“i just can’t believe you’re getting married!! wow, you’re so cool. with the love of your life. then the two of you could be cool together after the wedding. you aren’t gonna forget me once you’re married, are you? nayeon do you think that i would ever be married-...”

you should just accept it now :((

you’re a little bit of a mess and a half underneath your pantsuits and walkie-talkies and the special pride you’d carry whenever the couple mentions you in their wedding speeches

absolutely WHY in the hell do you think about hoseok when it comes to weddings???

it’s almost a pavlovian response when you instruct the people to open the doors and the bride to start walking and your mind would iNSTANTLY think about him

it’s sometimes awkward when the couple would ask ah !!!! ms. y/n u are such a world-renowned wedding planner !!!! your own wedding must’ve been magnificent :D

aha actually about dat.,.,

you get tons of gifts of gratitude from just a single client alone and you don’t have hoseok and his stupidly powerful arms to help carry boxes back to your car

you don’t have him to give untouched and left-over flowers to

you don’t have him to remind you when you’re getting a little ahead of yourself over just talking to sponsors and trying to squeeze in as much as you could for an initial budge

you don’t have hoseok, in all his glory, to put his hand on the small of your back when you’re talking to how you need the fireworks to start the moment the band starts playing ice ice baby and the vendor does nOT need to know why it’s the song chosen by the couple

it’s what he’d do when you’re trying to fit two semesters’ worth of notes into a pricey A3 notebook that you’ve bought 

and just how many weddings do you plan and coordinate, even within just a span of two week?

:)

a lot.

often.

you think about hoseok a lot. often. oftenly a lot.

but aha nOT TODAY!!!

today’s nayeon’s wedding and you’re not gonna ruin it for her by projecting your yearning into your best friend’s wedding that clearly isn’t yours

10/10 she’d probably stop reciting her vows to ask you why you’re sniffling

your only source of distraction is your gown!!!

your maid of honor is the absolute pRETTIEST and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel gorgeous in it

it’s floor-length silk!!! fLOOR-LENGTH !! SILK !! GOWN

it’s in a deep mauve with an off-shoulder situation and a little risqué bit of cleavage!!! cinches right at the top of your waist and poofs a little and oh my god mayhaps you aRE pretty

god hoseok may have not written you a song, but sean kingston dEFINITELY did

nayeon knew you’d be catching everyone’s attention as much as her wedding dress would and she’s absolutely happy and fine with it!! 

in fact she’s strategically practiced her throws for her bouquet so you’d catch it and your gown would nOt go to waste

having a wedding happen right where you are, but being in it as a guest instead of a planner, is just so much... calmer

you’re not fixing the chaos but you’re just watching it!!! if you feel a little more bubbly then you’re gonna partake in it hee-hee

yoongi’s actually not so bad

he could just be a little too lax which ends up with him being lost and distraught 

you could see so much of you in him when you were just starting out and it’s endearing actually

(( nayeon’s told you in passing that she once told yoongi that you were her best friend and he looked both intimidated and awed at the same time ))

the only thing you help yoongi with is sending him a thumbs-up every now and then and he perks uP because that’s the signal that he’s doing a good job and not fucking up

nayeon looks so beautiful and you’re already tearing up fixing her veil :((

you know how wedding photographers and videographers LOVE people crying???? they r probably eating your shit up so quick that you won’t be surprised if you take up atleast half of the same-day edit of their wedding film

there’s something so serene about the hecticness everyone’s indulged themselves in

you’re grinning when you walk down the aisle because you realize that omg you haven’t doNE this in a long time!!! 

the last time you did was testing out the aisle for a client that wanted it ala crazy rich asians and you had to walk back and forth cOLD-ASS water with damp rolled-up pant cuffs before they got the temperature and the levels right

nah you should definitely know how it’d be because after all :D you aRE the consultant for that scene in crazy rich asians :D no biggie :D

it’s such a serene blast to see everyone happy and in their element

you’re sitting the reception out bc yoongi very kindly pleaded to please give him notes and promising that he’d never tell it to anyone else

the whole planning process for nayeon and not oNCE did he bring a notebook..,., but he just hAPPENS to have one when you’re telling him how to say no to your client

“listen, you have to tell them in the sincerest way possible, that you tried everything. it gets them going when you tell them that you even pleaded with the vendors, but don’t go too low on your knees, alright? and then after that, you say a strict no. no, because their choice of flowers is absolutely sHIT for their tie-dye theme they’re so adamant about!”

yoongi has never listened so intently

not even when his roommate lists out their grocery checklist

“mhmm. and if they still push, should i give them an ultimatum? or tell them about a wedding that totally happened that did exactly what they were planning, and how much the guests hated it?”

okay nOW he’s talking

“what you do is...”

the buzz of the reception never really dies down because it’s barely even starting!! the couple’s still finishing up on their pictorial which gives everyone time to get to the venue and freshen up or get last-minute gifts lmao

you know that it’s starting when the band or the dj starts doing polished mic checks

mic check! one, two, three! sKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRA

no, no 

there’s something definitely wrong

the rolling and the lull of routine words just seem so familiar

mic check! J-A-Y! H-O-P-E! J-HOPE! jung-...

oh

my

fucking

gOD

that’s hoseok.

that is most dEFINITELY hoseok

you turn your back to see the stage set-up and god...... fuck

it’s someone you haven’t seen in the flesh for two years yet spent the years of your life with before that 

he looks sickening in his black mandarin-collared suit with thick white lining on it wITH his hair styled up and parted to the site

it’s even more sickening for you because you don’t actually know if you can mANAGE to be here

you’re standing up abruptly and yoongi squawks at that because he is the furthesT thing from being finished about asking how to make the guests arrive on time without holding a field trip assembly-like type of line with the megaphone

the fastest way out was dashing through the front part and you must have forgotten that hoseok has a knack for catching things with his perfectly good eyesight

“y/n?” 

ok what now

he mumbles your name to the mic, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes trail the speed-walking speck of mauve from in front of him 

his little question to himself must have gotten people more than curious

they’re already mORE than curious because it’s his goddamn band that’s playing!!!! and the fees are not cheap and it’s practically impossible to book them!!!

but jungkook, their drummer, was a close friend of the groom’s and alright.,.,. okay maybe we CAN play at weddings now

ok hoseok’s mind is probably just playing tricks on him and he should finish setting up before the lights dim again for what they insist is the 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻

but then he can’t help but look oNE last time

then he sees the watch he’s gifted you on his wrist — one that he was supposed to give you at graduation but later made his mom give it to you instead and not say that it was from him

...

....

whew he might need his inhaler for this one and he doesn’t even hAVE asthma

oh my god what the hELL is hoseok doing here????

you haven’t seen him for two years, and the moment you do, it’s in your best friend’s wedding with no date present??

you’re clearly panicking and the only form of caffeine you’ve gotten is the pre-game of getting a few bites from the coffee ganache in nayeon’s wedding cake that she was munching on while getting her makeup done

you know what!! it’s fine

it’s totally fine :D

hoseok is just hoseok and you’re not gonna be intimated by the man you’ve been loving in the sidelines from practically your whole life :D

it’s not a big deal!

besides, people are looking for you bc you’re supposed to give the opening toast to welcome nayeon and her groom in

you’re walking, you’re talking, aaaaaaaand-

yeah this is not nOT a big deal

you’re crumbling from the inside out because seeing hoseok is just too painful after two years of wondering where you could’ve went wrong and what could’ve happened if the two of you didn’t fall out

you feel especially bitter when hoseok starts singing their famous song about love and everything in between

everyone’s sWOONING and on their feet and you’re literally just there vibrating with how furious you are

you keep downing the good champagne as iF it’s gonna get you drunk

yoongi has a clue that the server must be a little dizzy having to go and back forth to your table so he just offers his portion to you

you’re so goddamn busy and absorbed with loathing him that you don’t even turn your back to notice that his eyes keep flickering to you

even at the cheesiest lyric, hobi expects that you’d atleast LOOK at him for that one but nOOOO your champagne flute and the blondie beside you is just much more interesting

you’re buzzing with anger that you aren’t enjoying this reception At All

you fail to even recognize that nayeon’s intentionally had your favorite food to be served!!! and you have an extra portion delivered to your table!!!

you just want your suffering to eND wow absolutely how much longer could this go

you’re so busy with cussing the whole ordeal in your head that you didn’t even notice how the band isn’t playing anymore and instead everyone’s swooning over the cake

it’s lost in you that hoseok’s shooed yoongi from his chair, sitting right beside you and even scooting closer until his knees bump to your own

and that’s when it sinks in

hobi doesn’t even have time to tell you how beautiful you look because you’ve gone straight to seething him

“for the record, i want you to know that i hate you.”

...

:O

okay hoseok didn’t expect that

for all he knows, the two of you even vOWED to never say the h word even if it’s meant jokingly!!

it’s a lethal word and the two of you collectively agreed to never play with it in regards to saying to one another

but well here you are

you’re saying it as if you’ve never been more sure of anything in your whole life

you feel actually relieved to say it to him right to his face, a miniscule weight lifted from your shoulders while your arms are crossed just by looking at him

hoseok does you one better with a timid chuckle, looking down on his rings that he’s fiddling with nervously

“yeah. i hate me too.”

.... oh

you’re perplexed at his reply so much so that you’re speechless

you’ve been keeping to yourself what you should say to him the moment you see him for two years and now that he agrees to what you’ve just said.,.,.,

oh fuck that

“i hate you so much, hoseok! i don’t even know what i did wrong and i asked even your own mother what’s wrong with me! did you know that you are, without a doubt, so fucking selfish???”

you exclaim as quietly as you could but that doesn’t stop people from glancing because the two most-known people in the room, besides the bride and groom, are having what seems to be an... intimate conversation with how close the two of you are??

“did you even try once to consider how painful it was for me to wonder why i just am the way that i am? or is that even too big of an inconveniece for you to think about because you’re so busy?”

“did you suddenly get too big for me, huh?” you ask straightly without malice, not even thinking about the double meaning because clearly, you’re too PRESSED lightly jabbing your finger to his chest

right he deserves that

hoseok’s fucked up big-time, that much he knows

his eyes are actually stinging right now and he would ask you for your handkerchief that you used to always carry for him but uH he thinks he doesn’t deserve any of that

“why couldn’t you just tell me what was in your mind? you know that nothing would change whatever it was that-”

“i love you, okay?”

hoseok interrupts you with his mumble before he sets his eyes down once again on your watch

you’re speechless for long this time

“..... w-what?”

okay maybe he fucked up even more

“listen i-...”

“if you love me, a single text wouldn’t have hurt, hobi!!”

your chest doesn’t hurt anymore but it iS constricting with the amount of emotions and scenarios you’re trying to process

he’s kinda lost because oh my god you aren’t mAD anymore!!

and you don’t look fazed that he just declared his love for you

“i dropped you because i-i — i don’t want the people i love seeing me fuck up, y’know? i finished uni for the sake of it, and i didn’t even know if the band thing would work out!!”

“but baby it dID work out!!!!”

jesus christ hoseok may be a fucking iDIOT

you’re shaking him by the shoulders and he actually has to stand up so he wouldn’t fall by your ministrations

you feel so happy because your processing was just about to be finished, equal parts relieved and happy and maybe a tiny bit confused still

“it did work out because look at you now!! hobi, you could’ve just called me and i would’ve accepted the call before it even rings!!” you’re happily frustrated with him that you push him until the two of you are in the dance floor, his mouth curving up both in disbelief and giddiness

“i didn’t because i thought-...”

he’s interrupted by a swift and tight hug to his middle, his arms moving on their own to envelope you in his warmth

the top of your head still smells the same :D

his purpose is lost before he gathers his bearings once again, freezing in his stance before weakly attempting to push you off

“... you were married.”

the harsh sQUINT of your eyes you’re giving him prompt him to explain

why is he so nervous

“i-i go to your instagram? and well you uh, you posted this pic of you in the middle of the aisle???? you had your back turned and your silhouette’s seen then you were holding a bouquet!!! then after that, i-i never opened your account. jesus christ, is your husband here with you, y/n? what am i supposed to-...”

the realization’s starting to sink into hoseok because it’s something he’s shoved to the back of his head and now he’s seeing it straight-on

you’re throwing your head back laughing at him :D

great

now he’s both heartbroken AND a fool

there’s a gentle kiss on his cheek, one he didn’t expect and one he doesn’t hate

“i’m a wedding planner.”

god now this is just so fucking funny

the two of you fell out and remained distanced because of just a series of unprecedented miscommunications!!! 

the whole thing is so ridiculous that it actually feels light and relieving to talk about

“you’re.... a wedding planner,” he mumbles once again for confirmation, his loose arms around your waist now tightening

oh my god

hoseok starts chuckling to himself out of delight, turning to full-on cackles with you at how much the two of you have just been beside each other like parallel lines

“i need to make up the past two years to you.”

he declares seriously as a promise, pressing a tender wet kiss to your cheek that gets you giggling

“only if you write me a song,” you do him one better, kissing him on the corner of his mouth 

“don’t you know that most of them are about you? anyways, you should plan our wedding once it happens,” he’s forward with his words, having waited long enough that he nuzzles his nose to yours

:D

you’re gonna do him one even better

you’re gonna go right for the kill, the truth spilling out of you before you kiss him longingly, for the first time that it feels that it’s been something you’ve always yearned for

“don’t you know that you’re in my mind for every single one?”

[ffangirlingsince2001]

Home

Geralt x Reader The Reader comes home exhausted, soaking wet to the bone and freezing. They end up falling asleep standing up. Once Geralt notices, he places his hand on the back, letting them lean on him. Then he kinda freaks out when he realizes they're wet and freezing. He changes the reader, warms them up and puts them to bed. Reader is so exhausted that they don't wake up at all until hours later in the middle of the night??? Fluffy pleaseee THANK YOUUUUU SO MUCH . 🖤🥺

A/N: Umm so this literally flowed out of me like rain in spring and it’s so sweet it gave me a cavitiy, so have your dentist on speed dial. Thank you soo much for this request

Geralt x Reader

Warnings: FLUFFFFFFFF (I am not kidding)

Geralt loved your home. He loved sitting at your cozy little table, legs stretching out in the chair that was just a little too small for him. It wasn’t often that he was able to make it back home to you, his duty as a Witcher calling him away for months on end, but every time he returned he always found it as he had left it. An old mural might be painted over with one to match the most recent festival or maybe spruce had replaced the autumnal wildflowers you had collected when he had last come home, but the feeling was always the same.

No matter how cold it was outside, your hearth was always warm, and your bed was always welcoming. And you were always there. It was as if you could sense he was coming, but every time he stepped through the door a meal was being cooked and you were waiting, a smile plastered across your face.

That smile is what he fought for. Why every monster he killed was swift and without mercy, because any second of hesitation could take him away from that smile forever. Coming home was his most favorite thing in the entire world. If he ever found himself a djinn, he would need no wishes as this was the only thing he could imagine wanting. He loved every bit of you and the life you had cultivated. He loved the little thatched roof that you had paid him to repair all those years ago, when hunting was slow, and he needed a little extra money and a hot meal. He loved the herb garden you had been planting when he just so happened to stumble upon you and your little home once more. He loved the fat little tabby that liked wrapping around his neck even though it made him sneeze. He loved the white horse that kept Roach company while he sat at your table.

But all that had nothing on the way he loved you.

He loved every little thing about you to the point that he wished to introduce you to Jaskier, solely so he could write you a song and inform the world how wonderful you were. He had once drunkenly admitted this to the Bard when he let it slip that he missed you a couple weeks ago. Of course Jaskier had prodded and soon he was telling everyone who listened how much he loved the village woman who had stolen his heart, stitched it up, wrapped it in soft cotton, and then returned it with her own.

He loved the way he could see the night sky in the freckles that had blossomed across your nose. He loved the softness of your eyes every time you lay his head in your lap and ran your fingers through his hair. He loved how the callouses in your hand were still soft and gentle when you stitched him up, pretending to chastise him for being so reckless. He loved the way your hips felt in his hands while you danced around the kitchen. He loved the way your lips lingered just a little longer than they had to. And by god did he love your smile, especially when you sent it to him across the room, knowing just when he needed it.

He never quite new what he had done to deserve you. Why destiny had led him to your neck of the woods and allowed him to stay. Honestly, he didn’t care. He didn’t care because every time he was with you, he felt like he deserved everything. That was your gift. Unlike many woman he had fancied before you, he felt like he could live up to your expectations, because your only expectation was that he was himself. The third time he had “accidentally” shown up in your yard and you had invited him in for dinner, he had asked you why you were not married. You had laughed and taken a bite of the pheasant he had caught before answering.

“Why do I need a husband when I keep waiting for you to come back.” He had been shocked, choking on his own bite. He had expected something sad, or worse the statement that she did indeed have a husband who was a soldier, but nothing like that. It had been so blunt, and so honest that he didn’t dare doubt you.

That had been the first night he kissed you, and he had been addicted ever since. You had been so soft, eyes full of stars only for him as he leaned in and captured your lips with his. Your arms wrapped around him in an instant and a little sigh melted everything cold inside of him. But it was when he pulled away and you smiled at him that he knew he was done for. You had led him to your bed that night and pulled him into your arms, holding him while you fell asleep.

That had been the best night of his entire life, and he would have sworn that nothing could have been better. Until the next time he visited and you greeted him at the door, dragging him inside with a laugh. You pulled him towards the bedroom and climbed into his lap as he sat on your bed. He had been so surprised and giddy that you had to help him pull off the dress that he had been dreaming about removing since the first night he had kissed you. Your kiss didn’t change that night, even as you moaned his name so softly it could have been moonlight. Your kiss still hadn’t changed, it still made him feel so utterly loved that even days later it was still giving him goosebumps.

The next morning was the first time he promised to return. You had laughed and informed him he had been promising that every time he looked back while leaving. He hadn’t known what you meant until he did indeed look back and found you standing on your doorstep, blowing him a kiss with a giggle. And he did return, a few weeks later with a bundle of flowers he had picked himself and a proposal. He still remembered the feeling of your jumping into his arms, laughing out a ‘yes’ through tears of joy. After the initial rush of glee he had sat you down and explained to you what that meant.

“I’ll still have to leave you,” he had whispered, and you smiled, taking his fidgeting hands within your own.

“Of course, you will. There are people who need your help.”

“And we won’t be able to have children.”

“Are you telling me Roach isn’t enough.”

“And-,”

“Geralt, are you trying to scare me off?”

“No, of course not, I’m just making you aware that-.”

“I am aware. I’m aware I want to be with you. Now would you shut up and take me to bed,” you had ordered, and tears had crept up in his eyes. So many things were wrong with this, and yet not one of them mattered to you. The only thing that mattered was him.

And that had not changed for three years of traveling and returning as often as he could.

He was lost in his own little world when you stepped into your cottage, arms full of the herbs you had gone out to save very early that morning. He had been trying, and succeeding, to get you to stay in bed just a few minutes longer when snowflakes began to fall and you gasped, darting outside, crying out that the poor little babies would get frostbite and die. He had shaken his head and gone back to sleep, cursing the snow for pulling you away.

But now you were back and humming cheerily. A yawn interrupted the tune and silence filled room. He stood from the chair and wrapped his arms around your waist, almost jumping back when he felt how cold you were. You hadn’t bothered with a coat that morning, the only thing on your mind being the plants that were about to take a beating from the early snow. Your dress was soaked with melted snow and it had frozen as the night had grown colder, forcing you to carry the cold from outside into the warmth of your home.

“You’re freezing,” he said, but when no answer came, he realized you had fallen asleep on your feet, leaning back into his chest as you drifted into dreamland. He chuckled and carefully took the plants from you arms and lay them out on the counter, quietly promising that he would divide them into the little sacks you dried them in. And then he swept you into his arms, carrying you towards the bedroom. There was no resistance as he removed your loosely tied boots and pulled your slightly frozen nightdress over your head. You sighed softly as he wrapped a blanket around you and tucked you into bed. Soft hands reached out for him, but he had herbs to bundle. He wasn’t going to let anything pull you from bed tomorrow when he wanted nothing more than to lay with you.

It took longer than he would have liked, his fingers not meant for the delicate work of moving the soft leaves to the small bags you sewed through the fall. He did it though, not a mistake in the bunch, and with great joy returned to your bed, pulling off his shirt and crawling beneath the covers. Instantly, your hands darted out and pulled him into your arms. He was pleased to note that your skin was much warmer than when you had wandered inside, and that you were still sleeping peacefully. He closed his eyes, drifting to sleep to the feelings of your fingers tracing the curve of his back.

When the white winter sun crept over the hills and shined into your little bedroom, you had tried to pull yourself from his arms. Whispering that you had to take care of your cultivation but he shook his head.

“I already did it.”

“Don’t play Geralt,” you chastised and he shook his head pulling you beneath him.

“I did, last night after you went to bed. And now I have you all to myself,” he murmured against your skin, reveling in the feeling of your pressed against him.

“And what will you do with me now that you have me?” He opened one eye and found you grinning beneath him, sly hands wandering beneath the covers. He pretended to think, his own hands exploring your warm skin.

“I think I will hold onto you forever.”

“That’s an awful long time.”

“Not long enough.”

[followingfallout4]

Companions react to sole always joking about their death when really they're really considering it because they hate themselves but always joking and playing off like nothing is wrong

Thank you for this ask, anon. I’m hoping this one might give people who are dealing with this some hope and comfort, maybe even to talk about it to someone they love and trust. These characters would believe in you, and one way or another so do I ❤️ Intro: Sole was not doing nearly as well as they pretended to. Being in the ravages of the commonwealth, losing what they lost... they felt useless, hadn’t been able to stop it all. Sole couldn’t shake the thought that nothing would change that feeling. They hated themself for not being good enough, never feeling happy enough so faking that it was to the outside world was the next best thing. Joking to hide it, just one day at a time, as long as nobody found out about it. That was until the day, in spite of the smile still set on their face, something must’ve shone through in one of their jokes. They were looking into the very concerned eyes of their Companion. “ Hey... are you alright?”  It took Sole a fraction of a second to regain their composure, to get back to the façade and the fake smile. “Yeah, of course! I was just joking, let’s go.” Their companion held them by the arm, not tightly, but just to get them to turn around and stand still.  “ Sole... What is really going on?” The worry in their voice made Sole cave in entirely. They had hoped never to have to explain this... not like they would understand it anyway. But they couldn’t evade it anymore. Tears welled up in Sole’s eyes as they admitted that maybe they hadn’t just been jokes. 

Codsworth: He felt like something had been going on for a while now, noticing the difference between the Sole he used to know and the way they acted now. He never could quite place his finger on what was going on , but as soon as Sole poured their heart out to him he recognized what Sole described. The feeling was somehow familiar to him. He had felt it too, once. He held Sole’s hands and told them they were not alone. “ I have felt lost... for all those years without you. I hate to admit it but... mum/sir I have thought about it too, it was so very lonely. But I held on to the thought that maybe I would see you again. And when you were there... oh Sir/Mum... I was so happy to see you again. You gave me a reason to live and to fight again. I felt better talking to you about it. About how I felt... I have learnt that bottling up past trauma can lead to inadiquate coping strategies in later life. We can help each other Sir/Mum. I am here for you.” His heartwarming smile wasn’t enough to fix the feeling of emptiness instantly but some warmth seeped back in, tears still running free. “Okay.”

Danse: Danse felt a slight sense of panic at Sole’s words... he tried to envision a world without them but felt his chest tighten every time he did.  He knew what it felt like to no longer care if you lived or died, but to consider taking your own life... he couldn’t wrap his head around that. He desperately wanted to help but he didn’t know how. “ I know what it feels like to feel like an imposter... but you helped me back up. Through all of this, you are the one thing that has kept me from giving up, from turning it all off. I would have been dead without you and I have devoted my life to protecting you, even if this means protecting you from yourself. So that is what I shall do, in every way I can. “ He pulled them into a very tight embrace and kissed the top of their head. “ You can tell me how you really feel. Your secrets are safe with me. The dark thoughts and the nightmares... I probably have had them too... maybe I can do for you what you do for me. Give you a reason to feel alive again.“ 

Deacon: Deacon was dumbstruck, his own jokes falling away entirely. He had no idea what to do but not taking Sole’s words seriously was the last thing on his mind. He pulled Sole into a hug. “ Shit Sole, you’re more worthy to be alive than me. You’ve saved so many lives, helped so many people. You have no idea how amazing you are.” Sole shook their head. “ Doesn’t make me feel any better Deacon. It’s not about how worthy who is. I just feel... lost. All the time.” He stroked their hair until Sole cried a little less. As he wiped away some tears from their face he inhaled deeply.  “ I’m not gonna pretend I know what it’s like. I’m a pathological liar with a bad past but I can’t imagine how you feel right now. And that’s okay... as long as you talk to me. You can’t fight your demons alone, I’ve tried doing that myself and it’s only been working since you’re around and since I told you about my past. I can’t... ‘fix’ this. I know that. But I will fight with you if you let me. And until the threat is passed, just to be safe, I won’t be leaving your side. I won’t bring it up unless you want to talk about it but I won’t leave. “ Dacon looked down. “ Because it’s worst when you are alone. “ He grabbed Sole’s hand. “So please know that you’re not. I can be an idiot but I won’t let you get lost in yourself, okay?” Sole was trying to ease their breathing, wiping away some tears. “I... I think I can do that.” Deacon smiled at them, a little smile. “Good. Now get over here.” He pulled them into a hug again. “ Oh, does this mean death bunnies as a nickname is off the table or...?”  Sole chuckled a little, while Deacon reveled in the sound of their laughter, vowing to get them to smile genuinely, every day, again someday.

Nick: Nick didn’t look at Sole with the pity they expected to face, but with a look of determination. “ Listen’ up kid, there’s one thing you need to remember; we’re not gods, we’re men. Human or synth, all of us. You’ve been trying to take on the world, one injustice at a time and you’ve found out that you can’t save everyone. It hacks in on ya, I know. But damnit, you make this damn hellhole a little brighter. So hang in there and rely on others when you need to. If you feel like you can’t handle it, come to me. You’re not the only one who feels lost sometimes, don’t get lost inyourself. You’ve got too many people looking out for ya to do that.” He grabbed Sole’s hand. “You don’t have to face it all alone.” 

Hancock: Hancock smiled at Sole. “ Looks like we got more in common than I thought.” “ You mean aside from the deadpan and the sarcasm?”  “ I’ve almost done it a hundred times over. I’ve considered it, justgoing out on a high, ya know? Literally. And to be honest, if it weren’t for you maybe I woulda done it, too. But you gotta find yoruself somethin’ that makes you excited to wake up in the morning. It doesn’t matter what it is. And if you let me, I’ll do whatever I can to be that thing for you. Or die trying.”  Sole scoffed, eyes still puffy. “ I’m not sure it’s a good iea to make those kind of jokes. Or to put any kind of pressure on me to be happy.”  “ Oh, I’m not doing that. You’re a grown-ass (wo)man, I’m not gonna tell you what to be or what to do. But I ain’t going anywhere without ya. But this ain’t the kinda thing you tell people unless you hate that empty feeling. Keep talking to me when you feel it and I’ll help ya. You’re gonna be alright. I’ll keep you safe.Cause you’re the most important thing to me in this whole goddamn world.”

Maxson: Maxson felt hopeless, felt some sort of unfamiliar panic wash over him. If ther was one thing he wasn’t used to being it was helplessness. He wanted to helo but didn’t have a clue how. “ Sentinel... I would kill for you.” He walked closer to them, looking Sole straight in the eyes. “I would die for you if it came down to it.” He grabbed Sole’s hands. “ But I can’t let you die. Cause I’ve lost a lot of good soldiers, a lot of friends, and I cannot lose you.” Sole looked at their feet. “But I’m not sure if I can keep going on, Maxson.” He gritted his teeth. He wasn’t angry at Sole, not dissapointed, just concerned and frustrated by his lack of ability to do anything. “ Whenever you feel lost, come to me. I know now and I’ll drop anything if you need me to. You can do whatever you want, tell me whatever you want and I won’t use it against you or judge you for it. As long as you don’t do it. “ He had a pleading look in his eyes as he grabbed Sole’s hands in his. “ Please. I am no longer sure if this this world is worth saving for me if it no longer has you in it.”

Preston: Preston sighed and asked Sole to sit down on a nearby bench with him.  “ When I first started all of this I was, um ... scared as hell. You know that I often barely managed to hold my head above water. Sometimes I just wanted it all to stop. I’ve seen so much death and misery walking through the commonwealth... it rubs off on you. But I kept going because the people around me needed me. Sometimes I felt some genuine happiness again, in the little things, you know? When I noticed some kids could still be happy, when I saw lovers reunited,... when I saw my guys like Sturges with his eternal optimism. It made me push through. And then you came along and I wasn’t the only one with the weight of the world on my shoulders.There was some hope again, among the pain and the suffering. I’m still not completely okay but I try to go by the little things... you are a reminder that sometimes things get better. But when it all gets too much... “ He gabbed Sole’s hand in his. “You can come to me. I know what it feels like to feel like you’re not enough. As it turns out talking about it helps best, and for me focussing on the little things that make me happy. Like you. Like coming back to the settlement and knowing you’ve given these people a new home. Like the look of relief when we help a settlement and those people realise that they haven’t lost everything. The bravery to start over. You know the story of Pandora’s box right? Once all the misey is out, hope is left. Anyway... just know you can come to me when you want to okay? Cause... I don’t want to lose you.”  

Sturges; Sturges can’t even stand to see Sole cry, let alone deal with the fact that they’re contemplating ending their life. After they barged in at the Museum of Freedom he felt like he owed them his life but now it came down to it he didn’t know how to return the favor. He looked at them with such hopeful eyes and said “ Hey... I don’t really know how to help but I’ve got your back. You’ve helped us out back at Concord. You saved our damn lives... I wanna do the same for you. You’re one of akind Sole, and this world would be a whole lot darker without you in it. So whenever it gets to much you know where to find me. Same team, remember? “ His heart broke to see Sole nodding their head while they still were having trouble stopping the tears and he pulled them into a hug, holding onto them tightly. “I got you. You’re gonna be okay.”

X6-88: “ I told you I once thought you looked lost and confused, that you might not be able to handle this life... and how you proved me wrong. How tough and determined you are in spite of all you’ve lost. I told you then you could accomplish anything you set your mind to. I still believe you can. You will overcome this.” He tried to maintain his more composed way of speaking intact but seeing Sole like that... something was hitting a nerve, making him feel something he didn’t usually feel.   “ X6, I’m not sure if I can. You also told me you were worried I might slow you down and I am doing that now. It’s overwhelming, too much to handle.” “ I am sworn to protect you.” Sole inhaled deeply, tears still streaming down their face because they were saying goodbeye to their support system. But Sole knew he was probably doing all of this out of a sense of loyalty to Father, a sense of duty. “ I relieve you of that. You can leave. Nobody will hold it against you. You no longer need to be my bodyguard.You will always be welcome in the Institute but no one will command you any longer.” “ With all do respect, ma’am/sir, I refuse to leave your side as long as you are in harm’s way.”  “ This isn’t helping. Knowing I’m a burden, an annoyance to you.It makes it all worse, okay? Just leave.”  “ Damnit...I am not leaving because I have to protect the one thing that I can’t live without. That’s you.This is no longer just about the Institute. I respect you and I want to be by your side as you take on the world or whatever idiotic thing has gotten into your head that makes you feel insecure. “ He clenched his jaw. “ You do? ” “ I do... sir/Ma’am. I will aid you in overcoming this in any way you can. I refuse to let you destroy yourself.”