#like I know he is shown to be like his evil papa so I'm not saying he doesn't have those natural tendencies that the bad shit brought out of

[warmmilk-n-honey]

Yana: “Oh yeah O!Ciel is rotten to the core because of his evil bloodline and he was always probably a little off lololol...”

Also Yana: *Makes a sweet and kindhearted child not shown to be malicious in any way before the bad shit happens to him and he losses all faith in humanity showing how being good or bad is about the choices that we make...

Undertaker: “He’s different than his ancestors...” 

Yana please pick a trajectory for this character because I am so confused with the mixed signals you are laying out.

[risestarkiss]

Hi! First, I must say I'm a big fan of your ramblings, they're always so interesting!

And also I found out something today and I needed to share it :

Okay so, I was watching Despicable Me 3 and the minions performed a song (Minions Idol - Papa Mama Loca Pipa) and it sounded... familiar? And yes, it was, because it had the exact same tune as the song in Rottmnt season 1 episode 17 : The Evil League of Mutants. And I thought, "Huh, this is too big to be a coincidence"

So I started looking it up. Despicable me 3 was released in June 2017, while Rottmnt ep.17 was shown in November 2018, but this is obviously a dead end.

After a little searching I found that the original song was actually named "I am the very Model of Modern Major General" by W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan in The Pirates of Penzance (1879) which is a comic opera.

I find it quite clever and hilarious that they would use a song from a comic opera to introduce Draxum, proving once again that he's a big drama queen.

That's it, I know it's not as interesting as your ramblings but I couldn't keep this for myself and I really wanted to share it. Thank you for reading my little rambling!

Keep up the good work and have a great day, or night !

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my silly little rambles. 😌💜 Yes! You are absolutely correct, but I'm even more impressed with your research!!!! Fantastic deduction work! (You've cooked and served a delicious dish. Well done! 🍛) Ok, so this song has been around for a long time and has shown up in many a cartoon/cultural reference. The one that people my age may remember is: "I Am The Very Model Of A Cartoon Individual" from the show, "Animaniacs," which aired in 1993.

The character that sings this song is Yakko, voiced by Rob Paulsen... The same Rob Paulsen who was Voice Director for Rise of the TMNT.

Thanks for the ask!!! 💜💜💜

[ellena-asg]

I'm thinking about that moment in Tortuga where James says to Joshamee "So, do I make your crew or not? You haven't said where you're going. SOMEWHERE NICE?!". Yeah, I know he is irritated, bitter, sarcastic, unhappy and 100% a mess after losing his job and everything he had. But...

He is also drunk. Very drunk. And very... alone. What if alcohol makes him more open? What if James' question is, yes, bitter but... also sincere? What if the bitterness is in that moment caused by the bigger pain? What if frustration is caused by jealousy and loneliness?

Yes, I think that James may be jealous (but not in negative way) and damn lonely. Just look at his life portrayed in both: The Curse of the Black Pearl and Sins of the father (cause this book adds so much to James' bio).

His father was like "Pirates are the worst and you have to be anti pirate. If you are anti pirate then you are a cool kid". His society is like "We are noble, we are right, we have money, we serve the king, we obey the rules, we are cool". So James serves and obeys, he (unlike Lizzie) lets society to completely devour him, he has his career and place amongst the people but... not really.

Father abused and didn't really care about him. People respect him mostly as an officer and "fine gentleman". We see no friends around him. Gillette, Groves? Their relationship with James is shown as rather professional. Lizzie? At the beginning of the first movie they don't have any bond with each other. There is mutual respect and kindness but there's no friendship yet. Papa Swann? He is kind to James, sure. But James seems to still feel alone. He looks terribly lonely (shout out to amazing Jack Davenport). In so many scenes we see him standing in Dramatic Pose and looking at other people with these Sad Sad Eyes.

We see him working and working and working. Serving and obeying. Being many people's dog. Still feeling like "not enough" to some of them. Even his love for the sea (and him being a sailor) is somewhere in the background.

And then there is his proposal. He sees that Lizzie is very nervous but instead of "she doesn't like me in romantic way" he seems to have some hope that she will say yes and that he will finally have someone to love (and who will love him back - maybe). But soon he loses that hope. Lizzie falls, he meets Jack again, Will pops up too, pirates now are everywhere...

And what do James' eyes see? Jack isn't like those pirates from Norrington Sr.'s horror tales. Jack isn't evil. Jack has good manners. Jack is clever. Jack has his charm - and it works even on anti pirate people! (Groves and his "Best pirate I have ever seen OMG", Murtogg and Mullroy and their "Why won't we listen to Captain's advice and..."). Oh, for sure he has it. Joshamee Gibbs, a decent person and once a Navy's man joined his crew! And mr Gibbs seems to be happy with his new life. William Turner, the biggest cinnamon roll in the town - he met Sparrow and five minutes later they're best friends forever! And they have fun together. They have adventures together. They do friendly things for each other (Will defends Jack, he is ready to die for and with him!!!). Elizabeth Swann, the sweetest and wisest girl James has ever met, she... she is Jack's friend too! And she loves Will (a pirate!), she's going to marry Will! She is amongst pirates. She seems to be safe and happy with them. Papa Swann, even Papa Swann is now like "Err... I love Lizzie and Lizzie loves Will so I should love Will too, I guess. By the way, James, you can try to hunt Jack Sparrow and his pirates but Lizzie won't be happy, just saying".

Jack, Joshamee and their crew, Lizzie, Will... They all have now what James never had and what he still secretly wants (oh, I bet!). They have each other. They have friendship. They have love. They go where they want and do what their hearts want. They have freedom.

They are like found family having adventures, seeing places and sometimes being heroes to other people (being heroes without being someone's dogs). Being there for each other. Even when they lose something, they still have each other. They are brave in a way James can't be (oh, not yet). Strong, full of hope and so free. Always so free. Always so ready to fight.

They have it all. James at the end of COTBP has only his job and, still, his bitterness for pirates (so as always, nothing nice). James at the beginning of DMC has nothing. He lost ships, he lost career, he lost home and he's alone.

James' father and his society always were like "Pirates are outsiders, you are with us so you're a cool kid". But what if... when James looks at Lizzie, Will, Jack & Co, he thinks "No! THEY are cool kids and I feel like an outsider"? What if such thought hits him hard when he sees Jack's crew in that tavern? When he sees them again, after all what happened to him (and because of them). He sees them and they are like always: together, okay with their life no matter what, so damn strong and prepared for the future. They lose - they try again - they win. He always loses. He's always alone. What if that damn hurricane was a sign?

What if, when he sees them doing their things and when he's so alone and lost and so drunk... what if something inside him finally breaks?

And what if he joins them not only because of Lizzie wanting to help him and finally being his friend but first and foremost because he finally can do what he wants? He's free now (from his duties, from his father's ghost, from his society). He doesn't have to hunt pirates. Maybe he doesn't have to be so salty... He's lost. And he wants to belong. What if he can belong to their pirate pack? Oh, alcohol makes him very open.

So, do I make your crew or not? You haven't said where you're going. Somewhere nice?!

Somewhere nice would be great. Right, Jamie? You crave for nice things in your life. Being part of the pack would be nice, right?

James: Do I belong or NOT?! 😭

(but oh, soon he is sober and he looks like an outsider again, he watches Lizzie interacting with her pirates and looks like "How do they do all that friendship stuff? And... sea turtles? What sea turtles?! What are they talking about? They're so... I can't. I don't belong, I'm afraid. I'd better go back to previous life and..." 😢)

[thewitcheswitch89]

Ritual

(the way you wanted it … the happy ending…. the other ending will come sometime anyway …🤣🤣🤣🤣)

you can also read on:

Min Heyoka (@TheWitcheswitch89) - Wattpad

Chapter 2

Papa stops for a second.  The sound of your voice surprises him.  It comes from the other side of the pillar.  He slowly walks around the pillar, and when he's on the other side, he sees you hiding there.

He looks down at you, his head tilted, a grin on his face.  "Why am I like this, darling?  What do you mean?"

"So mean....so cold....you weren't like this when you were a cardinal!" you said silently.

Papa let out a laugh, the grin growing on his face.  "Oh, you thought you knew the real me?  No, my sweet.  The Cardinal is who I should be.  The nice and goofy Papa.  I don't play that game anymore."

He steps closer to you, his boots making a loud noise on the stone floor.  This time his voice is cold and authoritative again.  "I'll tell you why I'm cold.  This is who I really am."

He steps closer, towering over you as you crouch.  He looks down at you with an almost sadistic look in his eyes.  "You know damn well why I'm like this.  You know what you're supposed to do.  You know what you agreed to.  You're my buddy.  You're supposed to help me carry on the bloodline.  Instead, you're acting like a child."

"This is not who you are," you said, your voice shaking.

Papa lets out a dark laugh before grabbing your shoulders and lifting you up to stand.  "Oh my sweet, how little you know me.  I'm more me than ever.  My darling, you thought you could change me, bring out the good in me?"

He suddenly grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him.  "I don't have any good in me.  It's all evil here," he says, tapping his chest.

"No...that's not true...that's how they made you!" you tried to stay strong.

Papa's grip on your chin tightened and he moved closer to you, his body almost against yours.  "Oh, it's true, my sweet, sweet love.  You only know the good because I've shown it to you.  But that was all an act.  A performance.  I did what I had to do to gain the power of the papacy."

He leans in, his face now inches away.  "I'm the same man I was when I was Cardinal.  Cold.  Cruel.  Sadistic.  Evil."

"LIar....!" you said. "I know why you do this...you want your father's attention....your mother's attention....the love they never gave you...that's why you do everything they tell you!"

Papa's eyes widen and a mixture of anger and shock flashes across his face.  You've hit a nerve.  "Careful, my darling.  Careful what you say."

He moves his hand that was on your chin to grab your wrist.  "Yes, I need her attention.  Yes, I want her love.  But it doesn't change who I am.  They weren't the ones who put the evil in me.  It was already there.  You just brought it out."

"No...it's who you think you have to be to feel nothing, to numb the pain...you build a wall around yourself...to push everyone away!"

Papa tightens his grip on your wrist, the leather of his gloves digging into your skin.  "You think you know me, huh?  You think you got me all figured out, don't you?"

He pulls your body close to his, not letting you pull away.  "You don't know anything about me.  You only know the mask I wore as Cardinal.  You thought you could dig into the depths of my soul and pull out something kind and benevolent, didn't you?  Well, you're wrong.  Stop thinking you can change me.

"No...I know I am right!" you say, tears streaming down your face.

Papa rolls his eyes, a smug look on his face.  "Of course you think you're right.  You think you're right about everything, don't you, sweetheart?"

He leans closer to you, bringing his head down to your neck.  He moves his lips to your skin, letting them slide gently.  "You have no idea what goes on in my head or in my heart.  You're just a little thing, so innocent and sweet.  Why on earth do you think you can know me?"

"Because I can see it in your eyes....You can act cool all you want....Your eyes betray you!"

Papa scoffs, still holding your body close to his.  "My eyes?" He says, moving his head back to look at you.  "And what do my eyes betray?"

He tightens his grip on your wrist, the pressure almost painful, and moves his other hand to the back of your skull, his fingers digging into your hair.  "And for the love of Lucifer, stop talking like you know me."

"Why am I hitting a soft spot?"

Papa's eyes narrow and the grip on your wrist tightens.  Not enough to hurt, but enough to make you uncomfortable.  "I don't have any soft spots.  That's the point.  I'm a bad old man.  I'm cold, cruel, sadistic.  I have no empathy, no sympathy, no compassion.  I feel nothing but lust or anger.  Nothing.  Soft."

You looked at him.

Papa notices your expression, the way your eyes look at him intently.  "What?" he asks, his tone still cold and firm.  But there is a hint of curiosity.

You see something flash across Papa's face.  His expression softens slightly, his eyes darting back and forth to look at each of you.  It seems as if something is getting through to him.  He continues to hold you tightly against him, though his grip on your wrist is slightly looser.

You continued to look at him.

Papa keeps his eyes locked with yours, but his expression hardens again.  He's still trying to play the cold and heartless Papa Emeritus IV.  "Why are you looking at me like that?" He says softly, trying to intimidate you with his tone.

But you stare into his eyes.

Papa's expression falters, the intimidation on his face disappearing for a second as he sees the determination in your eyes.  His mind is racing, his emotions pulling him in different directions.  He's trying to figure out how to keep the game going, how to keep himself in control.  But it's getting harder and harder as your gaze penetrates his facade.

As Papa holds you close, he can feel his resolve weakening.  The wall he has built is slowly cracking, your gaze is breaking through.  Papa's grip on your wrist loosens further, but he holds you tightly against him, his other hand still tangled in your hair.

"Stop looking at me like that..." he says again, his voice lacking the authority it had before.  He's still trying to keep control, but it's getting harder and harder for him.  He feels your body, your warmth against his, and it takes everything he has not to give in to the stirring feeling in his chest.

"No!" you said, looking at him.

Papa lets out a frustrated sigh, his mind still racing.  He can feel his control slipping away, your unwavering determination and refusal to back down wearing him down.  He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.  "Damn you..." he mutters softly, barely loud enough for you to hear.

He looks at you, your unwavering gaze still locked on his.  Despite his efforts to maintain his cold demeanor, he feels a flicker of something else deep inside.  It's like a war is raging inside him - his instincts tell him to keep up the act, to maintain the persona of a cold and heartless papa, but something new, a flicker of vulnerability and a hint of affection, is beginning to win.  The grip on your wrist loosens even more and he almost unconsciously begins to run his thumb over your skin.

You continue to look at him, letting your eyes roam down his face to his lips.

As your eyes move down his face to his lips, Papa feels a jolt of something unfamiliar shoot through him.  He swallows hard, his lips parting slightly as he feels your gaze on them.  His grip on your wrist is loose now, his fingers brushing gently against your skin.

You shiver as you feel his hard, cold side crack.

Papa notices your shudder and the way his touch affects you, and it fuels the battle going on inside him.  He can feel his control slipping away, his cold exterior cracking more and more.  The desire to give in to the stirring feeling in his chest is growing stronger, but he's fighting desperately to keep his authoritative demeanor intact.

He clears his throat, trying to regain some composure.  "Stop looking at me like that," he says, his voice a little softer than before.  He's trying to keep up the facade, but the way he unconsciously strokes your skin betrays him.  Your gaze affects him more than he wants to admit, stirring up feelings he hasn't felt in a long time.

"And what if I don't?"

Papa lets out a frustrated growl, his inner struggle intensifying.  Your defiance, your refusal to give in to his demands, is driving him crazy.  "You're on thin ice, my sweet," he says, his tone a mixture of irritation and desperation.  "You're causing me to lose control here, and you'd be wise to stop it."

Papa's resolve continues to weaken.  Your unwavering gaze continues to break down the wall he has erected, and his body reacts to your proximity, despite his efforts to remain calm.  He swallows hard, his eyes darting back and forth as he tries to maintain some semblance of control.  The hand in your hair moves down to cup your jaw, his fingers gently caressing your skin.

You shiver at his touch....

Papa notices the way you shiver under his touch, and it sends a wave of something unfamiliar through him.  The way your body responds to him, the way your skin feels against his fingertips, makes it even harder for him to maintain his cold persona.  His eyes dart to your lips, and he can feel the desire to lean in and kiss you growing stronger.

"What are you going to do now?" you ask him.

Papa's expression hardens for a moment as he hears your question.  He tries to maintain his calm demeanor, but his eyes betray him, giving away a hint of vulnerability.  "What do I do now?" he repeats, his voice low.  He swallows hard, his thumb still caressing your jaw.  "You're pushing me to my limits here, my love.  You know what I have to do, what I want to do."

"But I won't do it!" you say silently.

Papa lets out another frustrated sigh, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You're testing my patience, my sweet."  His fingers move down to your neck, the leather of his gloves brushing gently against your skin.  "You know I am not a patient man.  You know what I need, what I want.  But you refuse to give in, to submit.  You play a dangerous game, my sweet."

"You would never hurt me or force me to do anything," you said silently.

Papa's expression softens slightly as he hears your words.  He knows that on some level you're right.  Deep down, he wouldn't hurt you, wouldn't force you to do something you didn't want to do.  But he also can't show any weakness, can't let you see him as anything other than the cold and unfeeling Papa Emeritus.  He grips your neck with a little more pressure, his fingers digging into your skin.  "You have no idea what I'm capable of," he says quietly.

"I know what you are capable of...!" you whispered, brushing your nose over his.

Papa lets out a shuddering breath as you press your nose against his.  The feel of your skin against his, the whisper of your voice makes it impossible for him to maintain his facade.  His grip on your neck loosens slightly, his fingers now resting only lightly against your skin.  He swallows hard, his expression almost pleading.  "You have no idea how you affect me," he breathes out, his voice low and hoarse.

"You would never .... force me," you whispered, stroking your cheek over his.

Papa's breath hitched as your cheek brushed against his.  Your words, your touch, erode the last vestiges of his control.  He can feel his facade crumbling, the cold and heartless papa giving way to the man underneath.  "No," he whispers, his voice barely audible.  "No, I wouldn't force you.  I want you, I need you.  But I can't show weakness.  I can't let you see how much you affect me."

"Well, ....it's too late for that, I guess..." Your lips brushed across his cheek to the corner of his lip.

As your lips brush his cheek and the corner of his lip, Papa's breathing becomes ragged again, a low moan escaping his throat.  His mind is racing, his body responding to your touch, and he knows he's lost the battle.  He can't keep up the act anymore, can't pretend to be the cold and heartless Papa.  He turns his head to press his lips gently against yours.

Your breath caught as he kissed you.

Papa's lips press gently against yours at first, his kiss tentative and hesitant.  But as he feels your breath hitch and your body respond to him, the kiss becomes more urgent.  He pulls you closer, his arms wrapping tightly around you as his lips devour yours.  It's clear that he can no longer keep up the pretense of being the cold and distant papa.  All his walls are coming down, crumbling under the force of his emotions.

Papa deepens the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth, tasting you, claiming you as his own.  His hands roam over your body, exploring every inch of you, as if he can't get enough of you.  The fire of desire he's been fighting to keep down now burns brightly, consuming him completely.

You pull back and catch your breath.

As you pull back to catch your breath, Papa takes a moment to look at you, his eyes roaming over your face, taking in every detail.  He's panting slightly, his chest heaving as he struggles to control his breathing.  There is a mixture of desire and vulnerability in his eyes, a hint of the man beneath the Papa Emeritus facade.

"There you are," you smile at him.

Copia swallows hard when he hears your words.  His heart skips a beat as he realizes that you can see through his cold facade.  He can't keep up the act around you anymore, he can't pretend to be the aloof Papa Emeritus.  He looks at you, his eyes roaming over your face, a mixture of desire and longing in his gaze.

He moves closer to you, his hands resting on your hips.  "You see me," he breathes out, his voice a little shaky.  "You see Copia.  You see the man behind the facade of Papa Emeritus.  The man who needs you, wants you, desires you more than anything."

"Finally!" you smiled.

[monpalace]

Twi's mom aka Dawn!!! Cause this baddie needs a name :3

"twi’s mom idolized Time cause hero shizz and wanted to learn how to fight. Time refused which became the beginning of a rift between the two (will expand on later)"

^ FROM MY LAST ASK!!! And now I shall expand -3-

Dawn was the eldest in her family, and because of this she was able to grow up with Time actually being around (for a while.) During those days where her father was still her dad, Time loved and spoiled Dawn with every fiber of his being, wanting and longing to be a good father figure for his child.

He would take the young girl with him to his fishing trips! These trips quickly became Dawn's favourite activity, always so excited to join her papa in this little adventure! She would bug and buggg the man about when they would be going next even if they JUST got home from one of these trips. Time would soon come to regret continuously pushing back those trips as Dawn got older...

In her early teens, (13-14) Dawn insisted that Time taught her how to fight. She had heard stories from her dad's youth and older years about all sorts of monsters and evils being slain by his sword. The young girl was AMAZED by the acts of bravery her papa shown time and time again. She wanted to fight like him! She wanted to be a hero like him! She...She wanted to bond with him again...

He was always so busy now...If he isn't frantically running around the house/farm, taking care of chores and children, he was out there in the woods slaying those monsters to keep Hyrule safe...To keep his family safe.

Dawn missed her dad, the old version of him when he wasn't so...paranoid. The man that would play in the rain with her, the man that chased her around the house as he made 'frightening' monster noises only to get 'tackled' to the ground by her mama, the man who's smile made her feel safe even in the darkest of nights.

But no...All that was left was that cold soldier. The man who screams in terror at night as nightmares flood his brain --startling children wake that Dawn had to calm down and put back to sleep--, the man that glares and snarls like a feral wolf if you dare ask him the 'wrong' question at the 'wrong' time, the man that leaves their mama weeping at the door as he goes to risk his life again and again and again and again---

....

He didn't even teach her how to throw a proper punch...

He dare says everything he does is to protect his family. To keep them fearless and at peace. But not ONCE has he considered that the fear they --no-- Dawn held was because of him. That her sleepless nights and worried mind were because of him.

She was the protector of the house when he left. A young teen, with NO knowledge of fighting, taking up the role of the protector because the old one doesn't even know the true meaning of the word.

Dawn was the eldest in her family, and because of that she learnt what a pathetic excuse of father Time was.

first of all how many kids did malon have with him because i'm just saying she's a bigger person than me

second of all???????? fuck you (/pos)?????????? why would you do this to me?????????

i was reading it over and over again in school because i genuinely didn't know how to respond?

time says everything he does is to keep his family safe, but he either doesn't realize (or is willingly ignoring) it in favor of going repeatedly throwing himself at danger just to satiate himself, hut never getting that fulfillment??

dawn is forced to learn everything time was supposed to teach her by her own means, but can never perfect it because he's to busy shoving a stick further up his ass and (essentially) bullying her all in the name of love?

he needs his ass beat with a switch, i'm telling you 🙌🏽

[candyskiez]

Hi!!! 💖

6, 10, and 16 for your TOH ask game! 🦉

6: Hmmm. I got two! Willow and Boscha. And the Collector actually, so uh. Three. Look. Just just listen man just listen.

Willow, ngl, was boring for a while but For the Future sold me so hard on her and idc what y'all say. And context makes her so so much better ohhh my god. Because I started thinking. Ohhh she thinks her "old self", her old weakness her old personality is some curse that's coming back to ruin her and haunt her. She tries to kill every bit of the old her that lost Amity, that couldn't fend for herself that nobody liked or wanted. Because things only started getting better for her once she proved she could be strong, so of course her take away was that nobody loved her if she wasn't. She already lost her dads and she can't afford for everyone to stop loving her now, she can't afford to be weak anymore. Everyone loves her now. She needs to be the person they love. She needs to kill that weakness she needs to get rid of it needs to rip it out or everyone will LEAVE. God. I love her.

Boscha...admittedly. Mostly because of some very good fics. A fic that went into the idea of her teaching one of her friends to bully and be stronger. Toughen them up because nobody bullies the bullies, they were freshly traumatized and if she didn't get stronger they'd be a target. It made her so INTERESTING. And other fics that started selling me on the idea of her being attracted to Amity and the fucked up ways that could manifest. In one she'd dated a guy just to see how Amity would react, curious. And when he'd dumped her, Amity had dropped everything to comfort her. Boscha needs Amity to be that girl, her right hand, needs that dynamic because it makes her feel good about herself. She likes Amity so so much so WHY won't Amity LOOK at her. Why does Amity get to be fine WITHOUT HER. For the future once again made her very interesting to me I know y'all don't like it but. Idk man I like boschamity idk what to tell you. Love loses!

The Collector: OH BOY. Ngl I hated him at first. He was so annoying and boring to me? I didn't get the appeal at all. Didn't understand WHY everyone loved him. Then, once again, for the future happened and I just went 👁️👁️ and then watching and dreaming happened and I went oh okay fine he's cool. There's just. Something compelling to me about this child who has no role models whatsoever, who's been completely desensitized to the concept of death and horrible things because he's known them as just reversible punishments. And just the fact that he thought the archivists are the only one who can permanently get rid of someone. His reaction to Luz dying just....man. It sold me on him. But the just.. man. The scenes with him and King in ftf were so good too. Combination of "he's just a kid!!!" and "God. Poor fucking king." Done WONDERFULLY and I love him. I love himmmm okay fine Dana you sold me on them. I love them. I'm not immune to tiny god who has no idea what death is.

ONTO THE NEXT INE. FINALLY....

10: Oooo self indulgence. Honestly. In my very self indulgent way. I would've fucking loved a mentor episode. I have so so so much lore for the mentor but like. Almost none of it I'd actually logically put in the show. With that being said GOD it's fun to imagine it being a major thing in the background slowly building up and being really really important. I love the mentor I love the mentor I am weak man

16. The titan showing Luz the glyphs. Y'all, Philip was an unreliable narrator. Luz wasn't being shown them, and Philip wasn't hidden from them. Philip screamed at and attacked everyone he met. Philip viewed the isles as Evil and wanted nothing to do with it for years. Of course Luz discovered them so fast, she was actively looking for them the entire time she was in the isles! That's not Papa Titan showing her them. That's all Luz. Give the girl credit y'all.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Under the cut for spoilers:

I share a lot of the same sentiments about this season as Zep (not that we've been talking on the subject the past few weeks lol). Something is certainly missing this season that I'm hoping they can correct in the near-term.

Some of my highlights this season have been:

Butcher's relationship with Ryan and how he's FINALLY showing some real growth/possibly glimpses of who he was before he lost Becca

A-Train's Slow Burn Redemption - I think we all hated him in the first season for obvious reasons but he has really shown some growth. He's not good but he's not evil and in a way, neither are any of "The Boys" side either. I'm very pleased to see how he's been growing on how he's always helped out the boys and feel like there's something good coming down the pipe with his story

I have a theory Hughie's mom is only around because Hughie is with the boys and since she works for Vought, she's really up to no good, especially with what she just pulled on Papa Campbell (side note, I went through a huge Simon Pegg phase back in the day. Watch the Cornetto trilogy if you never have)

I don't know if this is a highlight or lowlight but why do The Deep and an OCTOPUS have a more realistic relationship than some of the people on this show 😅 Girl, if I were her, I'd leave him and that scummy fish tank

Butcher's "worm" powers - Another theory of mine is Butcher ISN'T dying but since he took actual V, and we know adults have a much harder time taking it than kids, is that he's transforming veeeery slowly into a supe and that's why he's so "sick"/appears to be dying. I think last episode showed that the worm/growing powers are trying to protect him in the presence of danger without his knowledge to prevent him from dying off

Black Noir was always my fav and 2.0 is loved just as much. Poor sleepy little guy didn't know what he got into 😂

The Boys S4: Is it just me or...

Okay, anyone who knows me knows I love this show. And I don't mean to be overly critical, but...there's something missing for me in season 4. 🤔

Episode 4 brought me back in a bit more this week, but I have thoughts and just wanted to get them out. Which of course you don't have to agree with, if you so choose to dive below the cut. 😂

So here we go! Highlights and lowlights (and **spoilers**): ⤵️

Sorry in advance for my slightly stream of conscious-style thought process.

Lowlights (so far):

Kimiko x Frenchie: Violently pushing down something you built up for 2.75 seasons? Because "being more than that/family" can also be romantic? Why do you hate the fans, Kripke? 😂

The political "satire" is getting a bit old for me. A lot of the same jokes over and over. However, the problem of taking out Victoria Neuman is a very intriguing conundrum (and Bob Singer sweating over it while trying to keep supes out of the military/law enforcement is keeping me hooked).

THAT Rob scene: lmfao come on now. This was for gross shock value and nothing else. Even the exploding dick and Love Sausage in S3 served a narrative purpose. (But I enjoyed the footnote commentary while watching it on Prime: Rob B. apparently wants to remind everyone that he's a Shakespearean-trained actor. 🤣) I’m actually more disappointed that he didn’t have a more meaningful role in the show, because he really is a fantastic actor and I was looking forward to seeing what his character would bring. (Not that lmao.)

Overall, the season just feels...emptier than seasons 1-3? Maybe that has to do with the lack of Soldier Boy's gravitas as a new antagonist, and connecting the entire narrative and various conflicts of the season -- all while shedding light on the grisly past of Payback, Grace Mallory, and Stan Edgar. Stormfront also brought that ante up in season 2 in a similar way, all while shedding light on Vought's sordid history with the creation of Compound V.

We're missing the layers here in season 4. Now, this could just be because we haven't seen the full season yet as well, but that's what I see so far.

I think it also has to do with the odd dynamic the boys side is in right now. With Butcher on the fringe of the group, and the others splintered off on their own side plots, it feels like the supes' side of things are more...for lack of a better term, "unified" in the narrative.

Which I realize is probably to reverse parallel the state of each side in season 3. But it just feels "off" to me somehow, since we're supposed to be just as invested in the boys side lol.

Highlights:

Butcher and Ryan: Butcher's doing his best there now, and it soothes my heart.

Ryan's slowly seeing the consequences of his choice to join Homelander. In fact, I'm wondering where Ryan is in episode 4. Hiding in his room?

The Khan Worm that appears to be inside Butcher is both frightening and intriguing. I wonder if this is the key to saving his life? Or just another lovely side effect of taking V24 long term. 🐛

JDM (Joe) and Butcher: All their scenes were golden. And that subtle John Winchester reference? Being willing to train up his son to be a killer? Being able to grieve at his son's funeral, knowing he "saved the world?" *Chef's kiss* 🤌🏽

(And if Butcher or Joe end up being the one to break Soldier Boy out of his cryo coffin, my fangirl heart will freak TF out. 🤣)

The way that Homelander is noticing his age is fucking hilarious. Bet you wish you had that life longevity from your father/sperm donor, dont'cha? 😂

But also the way Homelander "confronted" his past in E4 had some truly WTF/Holy Shit™️ moments, in a good way. As in, I'm once again afraid of this unhinged psychopath--kind of way. 😅

A-Train continuing to struggle internally with the place he's fought so hard to keep in the Seven, versus recognizing the evil around him, his own complicity, wanting forgiveness from Hughie, and wanting a true connection with others (namely his family).

It's interesting that Hughie's mom is being brought back in at this time. And even MORE interesting that she seems to be the one who gave her ex-husband Compound V. Her story of why she left her family seemed so normal that I actually got a little suspicious of her. But now, even more so. 🤨

M.M. doing his fucking best. (Except for the way he suddenly had a change of heart about Butcher in E4. Not sure about that one.)

Tila effing Swinton voicing Ambrosius. PLEASE. My Queen. 😭🤣🤣

I actually had more lowlights before I watched episode 4. There were some really interesting moments that literally had me gasping in shock (this time in a good way), more so than in the first 3 episodes. However, I still think seasons 1-3 were stronger from the get-go.

But even with my lingering reservations, now I'm actually more so looking forward to getting into the meat of the season in this second-half coming up. 👏🏽

[phantoms-rps]

For the crossover roulette: 42 What does the answer to the universe give us?

Back to Tempo Trio we go!

Lewis was exhausted. They all were, to be honest. Evil Arthur doppleganger had shown up again and while the good news was that his outside was starting to match his insides in terms of sheer ugliness (thus making him unable to pass for Arthur ever again), the bad news was he'd come out of nowhere, killed CEO Norman Osborn, and then vanished in the night.

None of them had been able to find him again, not even Vivi's squirrels. Mystery said he was almost impossible to trace magically due to how quickly he was degrading physically and spiritually. So the past few days had been combing Tempo City trying to find a trace from him.

And he couldn't even explain to his parents why he was so exhausted all the time. Maybe if he'd been like Spiderman he could, but he'd chosen to be defined by his anger. He'd never be able to let Mama and Papa know he was the wrathful Ghost who'd been more than willing to make his solutions to crime permanent ones.

So he was more than a little put out to be waken up early on a Sunday. But any annoyance melted into concern with the look on his mother's face. "Lewis, there's a lawyer here to see you."

A lawyer? A social worker, maybe, they still checked in everyone in a while. A cop if his secret identity had been discovered. But a lawyer? What would a lawyer want with him?

Lewis's trepidation only rose when he saw the lawyer. The was a man who worked for money. He sat down, with his parents flanking him on either side. It took a little of a little of the edge that had his nerves jangling. "Mr. Pepper," The lawyer inclined his head to show he was speaking to Lewis and not his father. "I am here to represent your biological father." The floor fell out from under Lewis. How did he even respond to that His parents stood a little bit closer, showing they were willing to fight for him if need be. "He was not aware of your existence until recently. And as you had already had a good and loving home, one he was not sure he could provide, he opted not to pursue custody. It seemed he was interested in getting to know you, but." The lawyer smiled fondly. "He was the sort of man who never moved forward without a plan. And he hadn't found a plan he was happy with before...he ran out of time." The lawyers smiled turned sad, and Lewis....Lewis didn't know how to feel. He'd known his mother had died shortly after his birth, and had assumed his biological father was dead or didn't care. And now he'd known the man had wanted to get to know him, but it was too late and he hadn't cared about his first father for his whole life and now he was a real person to Lewis just in time for him to be dead and- "Sadly your father had no other family or really any close friends, so everything he had was left you too. Unfortunately that includes some responsibilities...I mean no disrespect to you capabilities but it's a lot for someone who hasn't been trained to handle these things. I know this is a lot to process, but at some point in the near future I'd let to set up meeting to discuss how to handle things till you come of age." "Mr. Monroe," His mother cut in, "just who exactly is Lewis's biological father?" "Norman Osborn." Lewis's blood pounded in his ears. He'd met the man. He'd helped Arthur after the spider bite. He'd called him son. Had he known then? Was he testing the waters? Or was it just the throwaway term for a young man he'd only assumed it had been? Had he found out later? Was his companies negligence almost killing Arthur the reason he'd been hesitant to approach?

"I need air." He muttered as he stood and stumbled from the room.

~

Not for the first time Lewis was grateful for Arthur and Vivi who'd held him as he'd sobbed and screamed his emotions out. Now he felt more hollow than anything but at least he could think. "I don't know what to do." he admitted. "If that lawyer meant what I think he meant, then I'm in charge if a multinational company. There's people who will be depending on me to survive. I don't know how to do any of that!" "it'll be okay," Vivi assured him, wrapping her tail around him snuggly. "We'll figure it out." "More importantly, we need to figure out who else knew you were his son before now." Arthur said with a grim determination. "Is that really important now?" Vivi chided, gesturing to Lewis as if reminding Arthur he had enough on his plate. "It is Vi. It never made sense. I mean, a lot of things at the time didn't make sense, so i put a pin in it, but who would bother making a clone of me to kill Lewis? If I was the target, it was someone trying to get revenge on me for a Spiderman thing, why did they never go after Vivi or Uncle Lance? Uncle Lance is literally helpless. Lewis, random recently adopted orphan made even less sense as a main target. But Lewis, secret son of Norman Osborn? That makes sense." "And cloneface resurfaced exclusively to kill Osborn." Vivi suddenly seeing what Arthur saw. "Norman Osborn was always his target." "Clone his secrets son's best friend to get close enough to kill him. Didn't count on Nemesis intervening. Clone tries to take me out, possibly to take my place, possibly to deny me an alibi, but realizes after fighting three supers he can't get close again. Clone starts to deteriorate because spider mutation probably wasn't a factor taken into account and clone goes on a kamikaze mission to take out the original target." Arthur summarized. "Which means whoever made cloneface knew your relation to Osborn." Flames of anger and vengeance curled around his heart, in a way comfortingly familiar. Lewis didn't know how to run a company or deal with the emotions surrounding Norman Osborn. But catching bad guys. That he was good at. "We're going to be with you every step of the way." Vivi promised. "Together." Together. As long as they were together, he could do this.

[iconuk01]

Letter to Mama

Armistead Maupin's "More Tales of the City" from 1980 (Based on his newspaper column in the "San Francisco Chronicle" during the 70's) included, at one point, the letter which principle character Michael "Mouse" Tolliver sent to his parents to come out of the closet.

It is based on an actual letter Maupin sent to his own parents for the same reason.

Over 40 years later it still packs an emotional bodyslam that I imagine many are familiar with, but even moreso contextualised to the time when Anita Bryant's anti-gay "Save Our Children" campaign was running in 1977.

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Dear Mama,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write. Every time I try to write you and Papa I realize I'm not saying the things that are in my heart. That would be OK, if I loved you any less than I do, but you are still my parents and I am still your child.

I have friends who think I'm foolish to write this letter. I hope they're wrong. I hope their doubts are based on parents who love and trust them less than mine do. I hope especially that you'll see this as an act of love on my part, a sign of my continuing need to share my life with you. I wouldn't have written, I guess, if you hadn't told me about your involvement in the Save Our Children campaign. That, more than anything, made it clear that my responsibility was to tell you the truth, that your own child is homosexual, and that I never needed saving from anything except the cruel and ignorant piety of people like Anita Bryant.

I'm sorry, Mama. Not for what I am, but for how you must feel at this moment. I know what that feeling is, for I felt it for most of my life. Revulsion, shame, disbelief -- rejection through fear of something I knew, even as a child, was as basic to my nature as the color of my eyes.

No, Mama, I wasn't "recruited." No seasoned homosexual ever served as my mentor. But you know what? I wish someone had. I wish someone older than me and wiser than the people in Orlando had taken me aside and said, "You're all right, kid. You can grow up to be a doctor or a teacher just like anyone else. You're not crazy or sick or evil. You can succeed and be happy and find peace with friends -- all kinds of friends -- who don't give a damn who you go to bed with. Most of all, though, you can love and be loved, without hating yourself for it."

But no one ever said that to me, Mama. I had to find it out on my own, with the help of the city that has become my home. I know this may be hard for you to believe, but San Francisco is full of men and women, both straight and gay, who don't consider sexuality in measuring the worth of another human being.

These aren't radicals or weirdos, Mama. They are shop clerks and bankers and little old ladies and people who nod and smile to you when you meet them on the bus. Their attitude is neither patronizing nor pitying. And their message is so simple: Yes, you are a person. Yes, I like you. Yes, it's all right for you to like me, too.

I know what you must be thinking now. You're asking yourself: What did we do wrong? How did we let this happen? Which one of us made him that way?

I can't answer that, Mama. In the long run, I guess I really don't care. All I know is this: If you and Papa are responsible for the way I am, then I thank you with all my heart, for it's the light and the joy of my life.

I know I can't tell you what it is to be gay. But I can tell you what it's not.

It's not hiding behind words, Mama. Like family and decency and Christianity. It's not fearing your body, or the pleasures that God made for it. It's not judging your neighbor, except when he's crass or unkind.

Being gay has taught me tolerance, compassion and humility. It has shown me the limitless possibilities of living. It has given me people whose passion and kindness and sensitivity have provided a constant source of strength.

It has brought me into the family of man, Mama, and I like it here. I like it.

There's not much else I can say, except that I'm the same Michael you've always known. You just know me better now. I have never consciously done anything to hurt you. I never will.

Please don't feel you have to answer this right away. It's enough for me to know that I no longer have to lie to the people who taught me to value truth.

Mary Ann sends her love.

Everything is fine at 28 Barbary Lane.

Your loving son,

Michael

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This is how it appeared in the 1998 television adaptation

Though Sir Ian McKellan, a good friend of Maupin's has also performed it on stage too, and it's as good as you'd hope

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Honestly, I would find it interesting that after Spade, we might got some kind of political arc, involving problems in the Clover kingdom with a bunch of corrupt nobles and royals, who fear some incoming changes that would make society better (which could make a scission inside nobility, because not every royal and noble would be against changes at this point). And maybe papa Silva as the leader of this group. Like a villain who isn't involved with devils. Just an idea I've been thinking about.

Hmm 🤔

I mean, there is bound to be some political developments. Since Tabs has introduced Yuno as a prince, a legitimate, prince by blood and birthright, who's home country now doesn't have a leader (given if there is a Spade Kingdom after the arc ends). There will be some talk about the future of Spade, and that will affect Clover and Heart, to an extent at least. Especially Clover would like to maintain good relations to Spade, if Yuno's in charge, because Yuno knows a lot about them and how everything works. He is, after all, working for the armed forces of Clover currently.

I don't think it'll end up to an abolishment of the current political structure as we know it, however. I think it's too... rash, maybe, unless Auggie would... somehow have died (and this is where we manifest Mereo to chuck Auggie into a demon's mouth) and there would be a need to make big changes. But something needs to happen.

And I mean, who knows, maybe there's a need to choose a new WK and maybe the public is unhappy enough with Auggie, which causes an uproar, and Nozel and Fue are made successors to those positions. It's up to Tabs to show us, but there will be (or at lest should be) a political arc of some kind. Though I don't think that it'll necessarily be too long, because, as far as I've understood, BC is aimed at a younger audience as well, so a long political arc would deter a lot of people.

Also... I'm not, sure, if we'll ever see Papa Silva. Yes, he is a douche, and yes, he'd make a great villain (because he already is one), but I don't think he's relevant to the plot. He's been shown in canon... once? I think? And that was in a flashback where his presence was relevant for the sake of showing what childhood was like for Noelle, and to show that Nozel isn't The Great Evil. I think Papa Silva's presence there was to give a better idea of the Silva family dynamics, more than it was about introducing a character that will be brought back.

I could be wrong about it of course, I could. But as the plot is, at the moment, I don't see Papa Silva being a relevant figure. In fact, out of the "older generation" the one character of whom we'll hear more, I think that to be Mother Theresa. Because she has ties to multiple characters, and she has made the joke "I'll outlive you all" a... couple of times, I think. Once at least. And she does seem like a prominent figure, who keeps popping up at times. Her story might not be relevant any time soon, but I do think that she'll be elaborated on. As well as the Witch Queen (who's real name we still don't know! and I'm very much rooting for the idea of "Witch Queen Vermillion").

And now I'm getting side-tracked. But, in short, I do think that some politics is needed after the Spade Arc, but Papa Silva probably won't be in it. If y'all have further ideas on 'why' he would, hit me up, because I'm interested to hear your ideas. And I do miss things, I'm only human after all.

Thanks for dropping by 💕

[sentient-rift]

Mr. Tinker could see why she saw herself as bad from how she described it. He knew she wasn't evil... Just scared and desperate. With that said, he couldn't just gloss over her wrongdoings, neither. A real father would discipline his child when they do wrong. But since this wasn't his Belle, was it his place to do that?

...No matter what dimension it is, Belle will always be his daughter. Plus, it's clear she wants and needs guidance from her papa... Oh, how he missed hearing her call him that. He wished it was under better circumstances, but there's no denying that it was still wonderful to hear.

"Yes... It's true you did some bad things. You may have had good intentions, but a wrong action is still a wrong action, and the ends don't justify the means... But you are not your mistakes and wrongdoings, Belle. Even some of the greatest heroes do bad things sometimes. No one is perfect.

"The fact that I'm not perfect is a factor of why you're not perfect, neither. As I learned from my friend, RiFT, it is impossible for an imperfect being to create a perfect being, for we don't understand perfection enough to create it. I made you with a heart of gold, but that doesn't mean that when you're scared and desperate you'll always make the right choices. It doesn't mean that you'll never have selfish desires or resist temptation all the time... It doesn't mean you'll always be honest, always be kind, and never give in to hate. Your Mr. Tinker isn't the only good man in the world who went down a dark path. But not every person who does something wrong is a villain, neither.

"Do you know what you just did that villains like Dr. Eggman wouldn't do? You came clean with what you did wrong. You didn't make any excuses or tried to justify your actions; You just admitted you were wrong. That's why I know you're still my good little girl. You're not broken. You just didn't have the guidance to know what to do. If I had just been there, I probably could have shown you a better way to go about things. You're young and you're still learning. If you call that broken, well... So is everyone else."

Now here comes the hard part. Even though he wanted to comfort her about the situation, not even he knew what to do at this point. It's possible that no matter what choice she makes, it could lead to heartache and suffering. If she went back to HQ, and everyone truly hated her just like she said, then all it would do is bring her more sorrow. They would probably tell her to leave... But even if they didn't, they might act very distrustful of her and not make her feel welcomed. Sure, they were the good guys, but they're just as capable of holding a grudge as anyone. It's not easy to forgive, especially when the wrongs that are done are great. But he couldn't let Eggman find her, neither! Who knows what that madman would do to her... He should know, since he was once Eggman, but he's always been a complicated guy. The last thing he wanted to happen is have that evil man turn her into scrap metal... Or worse, make her into an evil robot. He couldn't let that happen! Never!

He wish he could take her with him to RiFT's Pocket Dimension where she could be safe. But he did not have RiFT's permission, and doing these kinds of actions without his permission could make a rip in the space/time continuum. Man, he really hated how complicated the rules were.

"I really wish I had a clear answer that didn't bring you any pain. But from what you told me, no matter what choice you pick, sorrow may follow one way or another. But it's clear which choice at least gives you a chance to be safe... I think you ought to go back to HQ. There may be a chance they won't forgive you, but if they're real heroes, they wouldn't just let you be kidnapped by Dr. Eggman, neither. And there has to be someone there who would be understanding. They can't all have a 'Holier Than Thou' outlook on this. Someone in there has to agree that they would have done the same thing if they were in your shoes. Maybe..."

Who was Mr. Tinker kidding. Of course, he was hoping Belle would still have at least one friend in HQ, but deep down he knew that there was a good chance he was giving his daughter false hope.

"...I'm going to come clean. I'm hoping someone will be understanding and forgive you, but there's still a chance that not only will they not forgive you, but they won't even let you in. But we won't know unless we try. Like you said, if you do nothing, Eggman will find you, and we don't want that to happen. Your safety is my priority when it comes to the choice between the two, and if one has a chance to guarantee your safety, than that's the one I'd choose...

"With that said, I understand if that's a choice that's to difficult to make. I can only give you guidance, but you have to make the choice. If you want to take a chance of hiding from Eggman, than I will do my best to protect you from him, even if it has to be behind the scenes since I'll eventually have to go back to the Pocket Dimension. But there won't be a guarantee that I will succeed in protecting you if I'm not by your side. But if you're in HQ, I would feel better knowing you're with someone who can protect you directly. At the very least, if they let you back in, I'm sure they'll still do everything in their power to keep Eggman away from you. It would be a problem for them if he found you, after all. Plus, it wouldn't be like the heroes to be cruel, even if they held a grudge. Otherwise they're no different from the villains."

He hoped he said the right thing. He didn't want her to be hurt anymore. She's already been through too much. But as a father, sometimes you have to guide them to a choice that they may not like if it means you can rest easy knowing your child will be safe.

formerchaoslord​:

Instead of asking him to leave, she instead told him her thoughts about the whole Multiverse thing. On the one hand, he’s able to stay a little longer with a version of her daughter, but on the other hand, she still wasn’t sure if she believed him. It was for a good reason, so he didn’t blame her. But it still hurt. And even though he still saw her as his daughter, despite coming from a different dimension, a combination of fear and doubt made it debatable whether or not she considered him her father. He was standing right in front of Belle, yet Mr. Tinker felt so far away from her…

It only got worse when she began to break down. All that pain and anguish… It was really taking a toll on her. Blast it! Blast that Eggman! How could he do this to her?! Making her question her worth and existence like this?! This became to painful for him to bare.

“Belle, please… Don’t say that about yourself. You didn’t deserve the pain you had to go through, and I’m sorry that you had to go through it. If I had the power, I’d turn back time and prevent it! I’d stop Starline from ever reaching your Mr. Tinker, and you two could remain happy together…!”

It hurt Mr. Tinker to be so powerless to help her. He wished he had RiFT’s power so he could fix the problems with Belles dimension that brought her so much pain.

But then he remembered why that was dangerous. RiFT constantly reminded the team that despite his power, he had rules to follow. One wrong move, and a seemingly noble act could create a rip in the space/time continuum that could destroy the universe. There were times that even RiFT felt powerless to help people, and being forced to watch them suffer for the sake of the universe being intact nearly eats him alive everyday. If Mr. Tinker had that power and solely acted on his emotions, he’d no doubt destroy the universe.

“Belle… It’s okay if you hate me. I can accept that. I can also accept if you don’t see me as a father. It breaks my heart, but I will accept it after all you’ve been through. I can accept if you’ll never forgive me. I will even accept if you never want to see me again…

"But what I won’t accept is you thinking you shouldn’t exist. I do not want to hear that come out of anyone’s mouth, not even yours…

"You want to know why I abandoned my life as Eggman when Starline restored my memories? It was because you were on my mind the whole time. Yes, I loved that I could use my brain and talents to help people andd make them smile. Yes, I loved being appreciated by others for once because I used my talents for others rather than my own selfish desires… But none of that held a candle to knowing that you were waiting for me back at home… To see my beloved daughter… My greatest masterpiece… You exist because you’re my daughter… You have emotions because I wanted you to experience joy and happiness. I wanted you to feel what I felt when I help people… And I wanted you to continue to help people when I left this world… But it seems in your dimension, it happened much too quickly and at a time you weren’t ready…

"I can’t… Fully speak for your Mr. Tinker. The fact that he died the moment Eggman was restored must mean there are some differences between us. But I do believe when he was still Mr. Tinker, he felt the same way as I do. It’s why I feel I still need to apologize. I gave you these emotions so you could experience happiness, but on the flipside, these emotions come with all the negatives as well, and you had to experience the emotions I hoped you’d never have to go through. I regret that you had to go through that… But I will never regret making you. You mean too much to me for me to just throw you out of my life… Which is why it disgusts me that Eggman did that to you.”

All he could do was say words. Even though he was pouring his heart out, it didn’t fix what happened. It didn’t change that past. She had every right to hate him. He was starting to hate himself a little for being so powerless to do anything for Belle. But it was all he could do. He could attempt to confort her the best he could. But if even that fails, what good was he as a father? Should he even have a son like Terios if he failed his daughter? This may have been the actions of Eggman that this Belle is going through all this pain, but when it’s all said and done, he somewhat failed his own Belle as well. He had to leave before even saying goodbye. He had to leave her, confused of where her father went. Sure, she’s still safe in Windmill Village and is still helping people, but he began to wonder what she was thinking. Did she believe he abandoned her? Did she believe he was dead? Is it possible that she hated him for suddenly leaving without explanation…? Still, it’s to keep her safe. He had to remind himself that even if it means Belle would hate him forever, her safety was his number one priority. With that said, the guilt of being a horrible father still began to eat at him.

“Belle, the world deserves you more than it deserves me. Even though I gave up my life as Eggman, it doesn’t change the fact that I did so many horrible things in the past. I have a lot to atone for… And it’s very likely I won’t be able to atone for everything. The wrongs I’ve done are too many to count. But you… You always had a heart of gold. You always wanted to help people. You always wanted to do whats right. Even now, I believe you’re stronger than you realize because you never stooped to Eggman’s level. A weaker will might have turned to the dark side and try to make the entire world pay for the pain it brought them. But you didn’t. You still remained my good girl. You still care for others, and you still want to help. That’s why I’m so proud of you.”

She didn’t know what to think or what to believe anymore, and despite his words part of her was still afraid it was some trick. But the way he spoke to her, the words he used it reminded her so much of her father. It was hard not to believe him and, at this point what choice did she have? She was faced with a problem she didn’t understand, and a solution that was beyond her scope knowledge right now. What was she suppose to do? She had a chance to ask someone who might give her answers but that didn’t solve her problem did it? She still did not understand what she was suppose to do without Tinker. her only purpose was gone, with out Tinker why did she keep going? her grief was so over powering she felt like she might overload entirely. 

She almost wanted them gone, she almost wanted to remove them… these emotions, these feelings but… they were his gift to her, the one thing that made her unique. 

She could never throw that away…no matter how much it hurt. 

“ I’m not good though… i keep lying to my friends… i keep doing bad things… i told them i would stay put. But i kidnapped metal, ripped his data core out and… put him in another body. I thought… i thought i could make him tell me why he came after me…while also making him harmless… i dunno if i even hooked everything up right… “

She rubbed at her cheek to make the tears go away—why could she even do that? she was gonna warp her wooden face at tis rate.

“ Then i thought if i gave him back what eggman took…maybe he’d change, maybe he’d be like me… but he didn’t he just hated me for it. Then he told my i corrupted him… that when i linked up with him in Robotropolis… my code attached to his… i can’t remove it—every time i try it just restores itself… i … i dunno what to do… and i’m afraid he’s going to find me before i figure this out…what would it even mean? if i fix Metal he’ll just be returned to his hateful self… if i leave him as is… he’ll hate me even more… “

“ Everyone else at HQ probably thinks i defected… they all hate me cause i’m a badnik like all the other bots… I just feel lost without you… What am i suppose to do…if i go back they’ll probably never believe me… and if i stay Eggman will find mee for sure… “

She looked so destroyed in that moment

“ Papa… i feel like i keep making the same mistakes… over and over agian.. am i broken? “ 

[iconuk01]

Not being American, I first heard about this singularly hateful woman whilst reading Armistead Maupin’s “More Tales of the City” and especially “Letter to Mama”, Michael “Mouse” Tolliver’s coming out letter to his mother, which always deserves to be read.

There’s a marvellous reading of that letter by Sir Ian McKellan which is easy to find on youtube, but I’d like to post this one, which is from the TV version of the book, and which includes the letter TO Michael from his Mama, which prompted him to write his heartbreakingly beautiful reply.

Dear Mama,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write. Every time I try to write to you and Papa I realize I'm not saying the things that are in my heart. That would be O.K., if I loved you any less than I do, but you are still my parents and I am still your child.

I have friends who think I'm foolish to write this letter. I hope they're wrong. I hope their doubts are based on parents who loved and trusted them less than mine do. I hope especially that you'll see this as an act of love on my part, a sign of my continuing need to share my life with you. I wouldn't have written, I guess, if you hadn't told me about your involvement in the Save Our Children campaign. That, more than anything, made it clear that my responsibility was to tell you the truth, that your own child is homosexual, and that I never needed saving from anything except the cruel and ignorant piety of people like Anita Bryant.

I'm sorry, Mama. Not for what I am, but for how you must feel at this moment. I know what that feeling is, for I felt it for most of my life. Revulsion, shame, disbelief - rejection through fear of something I knew, even as a child, was as basic to my nature as the color of my eyes.

No, Mama, I wasn't "recruited." No seasoned homosexual ever served as my mentor. But you know what? I wish someone had. I wish someone older than me and wiser than the people in Orlando had taken me aside and said, "You're all right, kid. You can grow up to be a doctor or a teacher just like anyone else. You're not crazy or sick or evil. You can succeed and be happy and find peace with friends - all kinds of friends - who don't give a damn who you go to bed with. Most of all, though, you can love and be loved, without hating yourself for it."

But no one ever said that to me, Mama. I had to find it out on my own, with the help of the city that has become my home. I know this may be hard for you to believe, but San Francisco is full of men and women, both straight and gay, who don't consider sexuality in measuring the worth of another human being.

These aren't radicals or weirdos, Mama. They are shop clerks and bankers and little old ladies and people who nod and smile to you when you meet them on the bus. Their attitude is neither patronizing nor pitying. And their message is so simple: Yes, you are a person. Yes, I like you. Yes, it's all right for you to like me, too.

I know what you must be thinking now. You're asking yourself: What did we do wrong? How did we let this happen? Which one of us made him that way?

I can't answer that, Mama. In the long run, I guess I really don't care. All I know is this: If you and Papa are responsible for the way I am, then I thank you with all my heart, for it's the light and the joy of my life.

I know I can't tell you what it is to be gay. But I can tell you what it's not.

It's not hiding behind words, Mama. Like family and decency and Christianity. It's not fearing your body, or the pleasures that God made for it. It's not judging your neighbor, except when he's crass or unkind.

Being gay has taught me tolerance, compassion and humility. It has shown me the limitless possibilities of living. It has given me people whose passion and kindness and sensitivity have provided a constant source of strength. It has brought me into the family of man, Mama, and I like it here. I like it.

There's not much else I can say, except that I'm the same Michael you've always known. You just know me better now. I have never consciously done anything to hurt you. I never will.

Please don't feel you have to answer this right away. It's enough for me to know that I no longer have to lie to the people who taught me to value the truth.

Mary Ann sends her love.

Everything is fine at 28 Barbary Lane.

Your loving son, Michael

On this day, 14 October 1977, anti-gay crusader Anita Bryant was “pied” in the face by Tom Higgins, a gay rights activist. Bryant, who was already well-known as a singer, led Save Our Children, a homophobic campaigning group which successfully overturned legal protections for LGBT+ people in Dade County, Florida. Bryant had declared about homosexuality: “I will lead such a crusade to stop it as this country has not seen before.” After being pied, Bryant burst into tears and began praying. Bryant was also brand ambassador for Florida orange juice, which then became subjected to a mass boycott campaign. Gay bars replaced screwdrivers (vodka and orange juice cocktails) with “Anita Bryants” – made with vodka and apple juice, with the profits donated to the campaign. Bryant’s lucrative orange contract subsequently lapsed and her marriage failed, which caused her to be ostracised by some Christian fundamentalists who did not approve of her divorce. Later in life, Bryant’s homophobic views softened, and she stated she was “more inclined to say live and let live”. In 1998, Dade County reintroduced legal protections for LGBT+ people, and efforts by Christian groups to overturn them failed. For this and hundreds of other stories, preorder our book out next month, Working Class History: Everyday Acts of Resistance & Rebellion, on our Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/workingclasshistory/working-class-history-the-book https://www.facebook.com/workingclasshistory/photos/a.296224173896073/1554453211406490/?type=3