#like I get you’re pregnant I get it but when we’re all getting sick due to freezing cold weather then who’s going to bring out your

[goryhorroor]

the lack of empathy from customers over employees working outside services like drive up during freezing conditions are really something

[lolaxbunnyy]

IDK IF YOU STILL DO MY HERO ACADEMIA AS IM NEW- but I love your writing so

What about poly Bakugo, Deku, Todoroki x Fem!reader who’s nine months pregnant, due any day now. She’s about to go into labor but they’re not home due to a mission

Idk if I explained this well 💀

also I hope this is good enough I haven’t been on here in a while 😬 . Also I gave the baby a name and a gender if you want something else then you can feel free to change it. Also if anybody has anything they would like me to write please ask!

warnings: fem black reader, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of birth, nothing bad though just enjoy.

SHOTO, IZUKU, AND KATSUKI. The top three most amazing and well known pro heros who were well loved by their fans had a little secret. They had a pretty little wife who was carrying one of their babies. Katsuki decided that he was going to be the one to get her pregnant first, the other two had no problem with that. After months of trying and no show she was finally pregnant and all four of them were so happy to finally have their first kid.

It’s been 9 months already and their precious baby girl has yet to leave her place within her mamas tummy.

Y/N rubbed her swollen belly as she did her rotations on her exercise ball. Katsuki’s mom was here helping her out with the little things that she needed. Mitsuki loved her from the moment Katsuki introduced them and now that she’s going to have a little grandchild she was even more happy with her future daughter in law.

"Y/N honey. The boys are calling again."Mitsuki said as she walked in from the kitchen to the living room rolling her eyes. “This is the fourth time they’ve called in the last hour.” Mitsuki chuckled.

"They're so worried that you're going to pop before they get back." Y/N grabbed the phone from, Mitsuki’s hand and put it up to her ear.

“Hello?” “Hey, baby. You doing okay?” Y/N rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t see her. “Yes I’ve been okay since the last time you called.” She heard him chuckle. “Okay. You’re a little worked up. What happened? Sick of us calling?” Y/N giggled. “Nope, never. I can’t even miss or worry about you guys because you’re too busy calling all the time instead of focusing on your task that you three were sent to do.” Before Izuku could respond she heard the faint voice of someone talking to him. “Oi? Is that Curls?” Katsuki of course.

Y/N heard what sounded like the phone being snatched away from Izuku. “Oi, Curls! If you ever hand up in my face again we’re gonna have some problems when I get back home, you hear me?” Y/N chuckled. “Yes sir.” She heard the blonde kiss his teeth before handing the phone back to Izuku.

“Sorry, bout that. Anyways you’ve got some scolding to do to Katsuki anyways.” “Don’t you dare tell her about that!” She could tell Izuku rolled his eyes. “He was being careless today and almost lost his leg.” Katsuki grumbled. “ ‘Was not bein’ fuckin’ careless. ‘The hell was I s’posed to know he was gonna turn his leg in to a fuckin’ chain saw?!” Y/N pursed her lips. “Y’know if you two are done bickering we have matters to attend too.”

Shoto said out of nowhere. “That’s right. Well baby, look like we gotta go. We’ll see you next week, hopefully.” Katsuki butted in. “Yeah so tell the brat to avoid her eviction notices till then.” Y/N laughed. “I’m sure she heard you, Kat. I’ll see you boys next week. I love you.” “We love you more baby.” Then the phone clicked and the call was over.

Y/N sighed. She truly did miss them. Sure she enjoyed the company of her soon to be in laws, but she missed her boys. It was quiet and peaceful while they were away and she hated that. The bed was always cold and empty and she also hated that but it still smelled of them and she could at least appreciate that. So did the large shirt that she borrowed from Shoto’s side of the closet.

The boys had already been gone for two weeks and they’d be back home next week but it doesn’t feel like Blossom can wait any longer to be out in the world. Her eyes trailed over towards the belly cast that she had gotten done. The boys had decorated it all pretty and even drew a little family of four on it in Katsuki’s terrible excuse of a drawing. She’d never tell him that though because even if it was bad it’s still cute and still has meaning to it. She can still even feel their careful hands on her stomach.

Izuku’s hands are the most scarred and a little calloused but still firm and calming. Katsuki’s hands being the most calloused and somehow a bit sweaty from time to time. Sho’s hands were the softest but were always cold.

She missed the special treatment and massages they’d give her before they left. They were very caring and spoiling.

It’s been like this since they’ve found out that she was pregnant. They couldn’t be home for her, they had their moms take care of her. Then when they came home for the night, they’d be all over her because in their words, “you look so cute when you’re pregnant.”

She smiled softly at Mitsuki as she smelled the cooking of her favorite food. It’s getting later and later and there was a storm outside brewing. She didn’t want her poor boys caught outside in the rain.

"Y/N, Inko sent some more clothes for Blossom." Mitsuki smiled as she handed them to her. “Awe. We’re going to run out of space in her little closets.” Y/N held the shirt to her stomach. “Do you like it, B?” Y/N suddenly winced at a sharp pain in her stomach. “Okay, I’ll put it away.” But the pain kept coming. Mitsuki helped Y/N up carefully and at that very moment, her water broke.

Mitsuki immediately started to call phones. "Inko, Rei! It's happening! I need you here now! The babies coming!"

Mitsuki was rushing around the house to get the bags ready and extra clothes before helping her soon to be daughter in law towards the car.

Once they arrived after some time Mitsuki rushed in to get a nurse and she came back with a nurse who had a wheelchair ready and the both of them helped Y/N out of the car in to the chair and she was wheeled in and rushed towards the maternity floor. They put her in a room and went to go get things ready for her.

“Where the fuck are they going?!” Y/N whimpered out as one if her hands held her stomach while her other arm was draped across her face. Rei and Inko walked in. "They're going to get everything ready. More doctors and your epidural for your pain, Honey."Inko responded and Y/N hummed in pain.

“Did you call the boys?” Rei asked and Mitsuki nodded her head as she tried to get Y/N comfortable and situated. "Yes but they're not answering. I think they're too busy in what they're doing."

Rei let out a soft okay before looking at the clock on the wall. 12:03 AM it read. A nurse came back in and injected her with the medicine but it didn’t have time to do its job because right after the doctors came in and it was time for her baby girl to come out in to the world.

Everything went smoothly. (beside the three mothers having to stop Y/N from attacking the nurse. Twice. First time because if her giving her the epidural late and second because the bitch almost dropped her baby.) when Blossom was all cleaned up it was about. 2:19 when Y/N got to hold her baby and feed her.

She was so pretty. Her skin was a mix between Y/N and Katsuki and her hair was blonde and straight but Y/N was sure that her curls would come in soon. Last but not least her eyes her round and (e/c) just like her moms as she looked up at her through her blonde eyelashes. The three mothers huddled around Y/N to look at their granddaughter. "Awe. She's so pretty." Inko cooed softly. “I’ve got to get pictures.” Rei gushed and both her and Inko rushed to their purses to get their phone out while Mitsuki stayed by Y/N.

"Do you want me to get her so you can rest?" “Yes please, if you don’t mind.” Mitsuki took Blossom and soon after, Y/N was knocked out.

Izuku was the last person to get out of the bath for that morning. They’d been up since midnight going on a fake lead, practically wasting their time all night. Izuku grabbed what he thought was his phone but noticed that it was Katsuki’s. “Hey, Kachaan? You’ve got 10 missed calls from your mom.” Katsuki raised an eyebrow as he set down his freshly cooked spicy ramen.

He went to his call log and clicked on his mom’s name in face time. "Hello?" His mom’s face showed in the camera. “You called 10 times?” He said unamused. Thinking that it was just her being worried and paranoid again. "Well, I needed to tell you something." Katsuki hummed. “Kay?” The camera flipped around and Katsuki saw blonde hair then the phone fell to the floor as his mom let out an agitated ‘damn it’ before picking it up and a sleeping baby was shown.

“Is that?” "Yep." Inko cut off her son. “That’s Blossom guys!” The boys mouths dropped. Their daughter was so pretty just like her mommy. After that face time call that day the boys had to call off the mission to get home to their girls immediately.

Y/N was released from the hospital two days before they could come home so when they made it back they instantly without a second thought came straight home and they finally got to see their daughter. Blossoms little hair started to curl up a little so she most definitely started to look like Y/N.

Katsuki was the first to hold her and she was so small Katsuki feared that he might break her. Izuku and Shoto walked towards Katsuki, standing on either side of him as they looked down at their daughter. “She most definitely looks like a Blossom.” Shoto spoke softly as the little baby curiously looked at the three men.

Their moms smiled at them. "Congrats boys!" Mitsuki had tears in her eyes as little sniffles came out. "Oh my goodness. I'm finally a grandma! I'm never gonna get over this!" She cried into Inko’s shoulder and Inko patted her back comfortingly. “I wanna hold her next.” Izuku held his arms out and Katsuki carefully handed Blossom to him. Once he was secure in his arms, Katsuki turned towards Y/N.

He smiled softly and he walked over towards her giving her a kiss on her cheek. He watched the others coo over the little blonde haired baby.

“Thank you so much, baby.” Three months later, the world knew about their two girls after Izuku had posted a video of Blossom giggling away at Katsuki and Shoto making silly faces at her while Y/N just watched in the background with a big smile on her face. That video was the most brought up topic in their latest interviews and they didn’t mind at all telling the world about their girls.

this story belongs to @lolaxbunnyy !!

[oizysian]

Hello, how are you? Could you write a wife G!p Wanda x preggo f reader. Where wanda is very jealous and possessive with reader if shes near other people. If you're not comfortable don't worry ^^

Mine, All Mine | Wanda Maximoff

Warnings: enchanted strap, blow jobs, whiny cummy Wanda.

AN: the people voted and enchanted strap won, so I’m sorry I changed it from g!p. I hope you still like it!

•

“Wanda, I’m okay.” I assured her, rubbing the back of her hand softly with my thumb.

“You’re pregnant. You shouldn’t be doing anything strenuous.”

“A party isn’t strenuous.” I giggled, kissing her cheek. “We’re gonna have a good time.”

“If you feel sick or tired or wanna go home, just let me know and we’ll leave.”

“Baby, I’ll be fine. You worry too much.”

“I worry because you’re carrying my child. I can’t help but worry.”

“I know, but it’s just a small get together with your superhero friends.”

“It’s never small when it comes to Tony.” She grumbled and I couldn’t help but smile at her pout.

“You never know. He may surprise you.”

The rest of the drive was quiet, a comfortable silence washing over us. Her right hand remained on my thigh as she drove and I drew little shapes on it with my fingertips, trying my best to keep her calm.

When we got there, she parked and rushed out of the car before I could even say anything, opening the door for me and helping me out.

“I’m not that pregnant, Wanda.” I said with a chuckle, taking hold of her hand as we walked towards Avengers Tower.

“But you will be and I wanna be ready for when you are.”

I shook my head at her words, unable to believe how she was acting over my pregnancy. I knew she was protective of me even without a baby inside me, so it was clear that her overprotective nature was running on overdrive.

Once we entered and reached the floor that the party was being held on, we were instantly greeted by everyone congratulating us and wanting to touch my stomach.

Wanda instantly turned red, literally, and everyone knew to back off.

“Wanda,” I scolded her. “Relax.”

“How can I relax when everyone is trying to touch you?” She hissed into my ear and I shivered at the tone of her voice.

“They’re just excited.” I returned my attention to the crowd who were now just talking amongst themselves. “One of their baby members is having a baby.”

“I am not the baby here.” She argued and I laughed at her reaction. “Of course you’re not, my love.”

Natasha walked from the group of huddled up people back to us, smiling as she approached.

“Congratulations, Y/N, Wanda.” She took a sip of her drink. “When are you due?”

“The sixteenth of August.” I smiled brightly.

Wanda tugged on my hand and I ignored her, knowing she was just being ridiculous. It was Natasha, not some stranger.

“You okay there, Wands?” She asked and Wanda nodded curtly.

“She’s just a little moody.” I spoke for her, giving her hand a pat. “She didn’t want me to come tonight.”

“Oh? Why not?”

I gestured to everyone around us and she nodded in understanding. She knew how Wanda could be and she could only imagine how bad it was now that there was a baby on the way.

“Don’t worry, Wanda. I’ll let everyone know to relax with the touching and the questions.”

“Thank you.” I said as she walked away, Wanda’s grip on my hand loosening as we were left alone. “Are you really that upset about us being here?” I questioned her and her gaze fell to the ground. “We can leave, baby. I didn’t realize you felt so strongly about this.”

“No, it’s fine.” She said softly, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “You wanted to be here and … I guess I need to get used to people being around you and the baby.”

I nodded, giving her a sympathetic look before leading her over to where Tony and Steve were standing, nursing drinks and talking. I figured if we were going to leave early, which was very likely, we would have to at least speak to the host once.

“Y/N.” Tony greeted me. “Wanda. Nice light show you put on earlier. If I had known you were gonna do that I would’ve canceled the entertainment for tonight.”

Her eyes darkened and I chuckled nervously before Steve gave him a little nudge.

“Don’t listen to him, Wanda.” He said, extending his hand to her. “Congratulations.”

After a moment of staring daggers at Tony, she took Steve’s hand, shaking it.

“Thank you.” She smiled slightly. “We’re very excited.”

“As are we all.” Tony raised his glass in a toast. “To the new little Avenger.”

Wanda puffed out her chest, about to speak, before I squeezed her hand, reminding her to relax.

“I actually plan on retiring once the baby comes.” She said through gritted teeth. “The baby will have a normal life.”

He tilted his head at her, taking a gulp of his drink.

“If you say so, witchy.”

•

“Wanda, are you okay?” I asked softly, watching as she unlocked the front door and opened it, letting me walk in first.

“I’m fine.”

If she were a cartoon character, she’d be bright red with smoke coming out of her ears.

“I’m just …” She threw her hands up in frustration. “I can’t get over the fact that so many people were all over you.”

“They weren’t all over me.” I said softly.

“I’m just not used to people being all over my wife and baby.”

I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her close so I could kiss her.

“It’s only temporary. Once the baby is born we’ll be off in our own little world with nobody to bother us. But, right now …”

I ran my hands down her shoulders to her arms, taking her hands in my own before getting down on my knees in front of her, biting my lip as I undid the button on her pants.

“Y/N … you shouldn’t …”

“Shh,” I tugged on her pants and panties, exposing her pussy to me. “Bring it out.”

I looked up at her, watching as she bit her bottom lip, her eyes closing as a red colored cock emerged from between her legs, twitching with arousal. I smiled up at her and took her hardness in my hand, running my fingers along the tip, spreading her precum along her shaft.

“If … you feel like you c-can’t …” she stuttered softly and I ignored her, slipping her into my mouth.

She moaned, desperately gripping at my hair as I bobbed up and down along her length. I could feel her throbbing against my tongue and I couldn’t help but groan at the taste of her. Even though it wasn’t a real dick, it still tasted like her, felt like her, and she felt everything I did to it, which made this even more exciting.

“I-I’m gonna cum, baby.” She whimpered softly, running her fingers through my hair as her hips thrust up against my face.

She made a slight attempt to pull away from me and I grabbed her thighs, keeping her still. I wanted her to cum inside my mouth; I wanted all of her. Her hips bucked, her legs twitching as she came, her cum spurting down my throat and spilling out of my mouth. I did my best to swallow all of it, but there was so much and she was just cumming and cumming and …

She let out a breathy whimper, her brow furrowing as I continued to suck her off, taking all of her in my mouth.

“Y/N … I need …” I knew what she needed.

I let her slip out of my mouth, panting softly as I took her in my hand, stroking her length until she hardened again. She was so receptive to me, so reactive, and I loved that about her.

I licked the tip of her cock, smiling when I heard her breathy moan, her little intake of breath as I continued to take her inch by inch into my mouth again.

She let out a mewl as I swirled my tongue around her length, and I happily sucked on the tip, as if she’d be the last thing I’d ever have in my mouth.

“Y/N,” she whined, gripping desperately at my hair. “Don’t stop.”

I took her as deeply as I could, tears pricking at my eyes as she touched the back of my throat. She twitched and throbbed against my tongue as she came again, her throaty whimpers and moans almost pushing me over the edge too.

“Baby … detka …” she finally spoke again, her voice low and accent thick. “I love you.”

I smiled up at her, lips and chin covered in her cum, and licked at the remains.

“I love you more.”

[russo-woso]

Could you do a fic with lessi where the reader is pregnant and they find out during the delivery that they having twins. Maybe some angst during the delivery like r blaming Alessia. And them not being able to tell the twins apart and lessi keeps getting them confused. You could include like team interactions with the twins and them making fun of alessia for not being able to tell them apart. 🙏

Twins || Alessia Russo

Warning pregnancy, giving birth, ‘I’m such a bad mum’, fluff (lots of it)

Summary You and Alessia navigate the first few days with twins

It had been a long nine months to say the least.

The last nine months were the hardest nine months of your life.

Being pregnant came with its highs and its lows.

One of the biggest highs, was that you and lessi were finally starting a family. Something that you had both dreamed of since you were seventeen.

However, after going through the long process of IVF and it working, you entered the first trimester and the morning sickness kicked in, the constant tiredness started, the hot flushes occurred.

But the thought of your baby on the way, and Alessia being there every step of the way, made it so much easier for you.

Although, as soon as you entered the later months of your pregnancy, and the kicking started, you had immediately told your wife that you were never going to be pregnant again.

Every minute of every night and day, it was non stop kicking.

You blamed it on Alessia. After all, the baby had her genes, and she was the footballer.

And so when your water broke on a cold December night, you couldn’t have been happier.

You were going to meet your baby, and you weren’t going to be pregnant anymore.

After Alessia running round making sure you had packed everything, you finally made it to the hospital.

As you laid in the hospital bed, Less sat to your right, your breath hitching every time a contraction hit.

Alessia was so good though, constantly whispering how well you were doing and how she was so thankful that you were going through this so you could extend your family.

The midwife came in to check how dilated you were but when she noticed the sudden increase of the baby’s heart rate, she brought the scan machine in to check the little one via a scan.

Alessia took a hold of your hand, treasuring this last scan before you saw your baby face to face.

“I can’t wait to meet our baby.” You told less as the picture appeared on the small screen.

You turned back to face it and noticed the midwife’s eye widen in shock and confusion.

“What? Is everything okay?” Alessia asked, also noticing her change in emotion.

“You do realise there’s two?” She asked back, waiting for an answer.

You just stared at Alessia, not knowing what to do.

“Two what?” Alessia questioned, the realisation not settling in.

“Two babies. You’re having twins.” The midwife explained and you swear you could’ve fainted in that moment.

“No, that can’t be right. We’ve been told throughout the whole pregnancy that it’s only one baby.” Alessia said to the midwife but the midwife pointed to the screen, two babies clearly visible.

“Twin B has been hiding at the back all along.” She pointed out, and you freaked out, worry and dread filling your body, tears spilling out of your eyes.

“Hey, baby, it’s okay. We’re gonna have two babies. Double the amount of love. It’s gonna be hectic but it’s another baby that we get to love.” Alessia said, claiming you down as she enveloped you into a gentle hug. “You’re gonna be such a good mama, you know that, right? You already are.”

“Now due to us only founding out it’s twin now, you will still have to go ahead with a natural birth, however, we’ll give you extra drugs and pain medication to lower the pain.” She explained and you nodded your head, dread filling your mind once again at the thought of pushing two babies out of you.

The midwife left the room, leaving you and less to have to some privacy as you discussed the unexpected twist.

She returned again to actually check how dilated you were, and it turned out that you were eight centimetres dilated so it was only about an hour left.

“Baby, do you think you could get some sleep for me?” Alessia asked, purely thinking of you and how tired you must be feeling.

“Cuddle.” You murmured, your eyes already drooping as Alessia laid down in the bed next to you, her hands instinctively landing on your bump.

As soon as your head landed on her shoulder, you were gone.

Once you had awoken, you felt a build up of pressure in your lower abdomen, which could only mean one thing. It was time.

You told Alessia and she went and grabbed the midwife.

“You ready?” She asked once she had gotten you into position. You nodded back in response, sending a weary nod.

————————

“This is all your fault, Alessia.” You told her through gritted teeth.

Alessia didn’t even deny it. She couldn’t.

You had carried her two babies, and were now delivering them into the world, the least she could do was let your anger out on her.

“Keep going. Keep going. Good job. The heads out now.” The midwife told you, and you let out a sigh of relief, knowing that your first baby was nearly here.

“You’re doing so well, baby. One more push and one of our babies will be here.” Alessia encouraged you, stroking the loose hairs out of your face.

Your face scrunched up, the pain taking over your body, but left as soon as newborn cries filled the room.

“Mum, would you like to come and cut the cord?” The midwife asked Alessia, who nodded straight away.

“A girl, Y/N. We’ve got a baby girl.” Alessia’s voice cracked as she set eyes on your baby girl. “She’s perfect, baby.”

The doctors and nurses took her to be checked over, and Alessia found her spot next to you.

“I have to do it all again because of you.” You told Alessia, rolling your eyes at her.

“I know, love, but it’ll all be over soon and we’ll have two babies.” Alessia pressed a kiss to your sweaty forehead as you began pushing once again.

“Fuck, less, I hate you right now.” You managed to get out.

All Alessia could do was smile at you.

She couldn’t have been more in love with you than in that moment.

She was so amazed that you had not only carried two babies but had also gone through the agonising process of delivering them.

With one final push, an identical cry filled the room.

“They’re here, love. Both of them are here.” Alessia cried, kissing your temple, before walking over to cut the cord of Twin B. “Another girl, twin girls.”

“Girls?” You asked, exhausted from giving birth.

“Two baby girls.” Alessia confirmed as the nurses wrapped them in blankets.

“Both of them are perfect. Two sets of ten fingers and ten toes.” The midwife smiled at you as both girls were placed on your chest.

“They’re perfect, lessi.” You sobbed, as you looked down at your baby girls.

Tears ran down yours and Alessia’s faces as you stared in awe at the tiny humans you had both created.

————————

“I can’t wait for the team to meet them. They’re gonna be so shocked when they see both Ava and Mila.” Alessia said as she put both girls in their car seats, pressing light kisses to their noses which scrunched up in reaction.

“They still have no idea?” You asked, resting a hand on Alessia’s back as she crouched down buckling Mila’s car seat.

“No idea at all. I haven’t even told Ella.” Alessia told you, leaning back up picking up a car seat. “I’ve got Mila, no Ava, wait, no I’ve got Mila.”

“Lessi, you’ve got Ava.” You corrected her as less’ face was covered in confusion.

“I’m such a bad mummy. I can’t even get their names right.” Less buried her head in your neck as you brought her in for a hug.

“Love, you’re not. Don’t ever think you are. It’s confusing. I get it wrong too sometimes. They’re identical twins and they’re babies. You know, your mum suggested we write their initials on their hands. We’ll do that when we get to camp.” You told her and she nodded, agreeing with the idea. “Come on then, baby. Let’s get you to England camp.”

————————

After stopping at three services to breastfeed, you eventually made it to St George’s Park.

At first, Alessia had turned down the offer to be at camp for the week purely to be with you and your girls, especially since they weren’t even a week old yet.

But when you found out, you weren’t having it.

She loved her time at England camp and so you compromised and offered to go with.

Alessia spoke to Sarina and Sarina said it was a pleasure for you and the baby, babies, to be there.

On the way there, you and Less had planned it that you would wait outside with one of the twins whilst Alessia walked in with the other.

Hopefully, the team would see Alessia, gathering round to see the newest member of your family.

Then, you would walk in and the plot twist would be revealed.

And that’s exactly how it went.

Alessia walked in, Tooney spotting her first, immediately gathering round to meet her newest niece.

Less set the car seat down and the girls gathered round, staring in awe at the newborn baby fast asleep in a milk coma.

Alessia couldn’t help but shed a tear at the sight of all her best friends connecting with her baby girl.

“What’s her name?” Lucy asked, looking down at the baby.

“So we had two names in mind that we loved throughout the whole pregnancy. We loved them so much that we couldn’t decide between them.” Alessia began as you quietly entered the room with Mila.

“Which turned out really well because we actually got to use both names.” You continued, the team still looking at Ava, unaware of Mila who was in the other car seat.

“It turned out well because unaware to us, we weren’t just having one baby girl.” Alessia said and the team sent her a weird look.

“Instead, we had two.” You spoke up again. This time, the girls looked up at you and gasped once they saw the second car seat.

“Oh my god. Twins?” One of the girls questioned as they all ran towards you, turning silent, scared to speak or make a sound.

You looked up at Alessia who had a massive smile on her face.

“You knew you were having twins and didn’t tell me?” Ella asked you and Alessia and you laughed, knowing the answer was going to sound crazy.

“We didn’t know we were having twins. We only found out an hour before I gave birth.” You told her and Alessia explained the rest of the story.

The team gathered round in the relaxation room, taking it in turns holding the girls.

“So, what are their names?” Lucy piped up again, realising that you never told them in the end.

“The one Kiera’s got is Mila and Niamh’s got Ava. Wait, no, other way round. Actually, what?” Alessia questioned herself, embarrassed that she cousins even name her own babies. “Yes, Kiera’s got Mila and Niamh’s got Ava.”

“Baby, other way round.” You told her and Alessia face palmed herself, sighing in annoyance.

“Awe, can your mummy not tell you apart?” Niamh cooed at Mila, winding Less up.

“Niamh.” You warned, seeing Alessia get worked up. “Baby? Can I talk to you outside?” You asked her, taking her hands in yours as you led her outside.

As soon as you shut the door, Alessia started sobbing.

“That’s like the eighth time I’ve done it. I feel so bad that I can’t even get their names right. I’m such a bad mum.” Alessia shared with you, in between sobs.

“Hey, hey, calm down, baby. It’s okay. They’re only five days old, we haven’t had time to get to know them yet. That’s the hard bit about having twins. As they get older, they’ll have their differences. It’s just because they’re still young.” You told her as you continued to hug her.

You broke apart from the hug and pressed your lips on hers.

As you did, a small cry was heard from within the relaxation room.

“That’s Ava, you go sit down and I’ll grab her.” Alessia told you and you smiled at her.

“How do you know it’s Ava?” You asked her, confused as you weren’t in the room to know.

“Her cry is higher pitched compared to Mila’s.” Alessia explained to you and you simple smiled at her, knowing she had proved herself wrong.

“See, you knew that was Ava. I didn’t know that was Ava. At a guess, I would have said it was Mila.” You said, rubbing your hand up and down Alessia’s arm.

“Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for always being there for me, thank you for giving me our two girls, thank you for everything.” Alessia stated, kissing your lips.

“Thank you, lessi.”

“Guys, stop kissing and come and get your daughter!” You heard Mary shout and you laughed before going back into the room.

“Come on, Ava.” Alessia cooed, picking her up and resting her in her arms. The baby girl immediately calming down by her mummy’s touch.

“Babe, that’s Mila.” You said and Alessia face dropped. She was so confident and 99% sure that it was Ava. “I’m joking, love. Sorry, I just had to do it.”

“I hate you right now.” Alessia mumbled, not wanting to wake up Ava.

“Hmm, that sounds familiar but at least we’re even now.”

[fawnsflowerbed]

leon x pregnant reader 🥹 you can choose the plot. just fluffy smut or just a fluffy fic. i love your leon writings

Thank you my love!! AlsO UGHHH YES THIS IS ADORABLE I LOVE IT!!!

Leon always wanted that classic white picket fence life with a loving spouse and a child. A perfect little life to call his own. Now that you’re well into your pregnancy, he feels the need to express just how much he loves you.

Warnings/content: Fem reader, 2nd person (you/yours), RE6 Leon, domestic bliss vibe, BIG OL’ FLUFFBALL!!

Word count: 2,400 (est)

⊱ ━━━━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━━━━ ⊰

⊱ ━━━━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━━━━ ⊰

All of those stories about motherhood being a blessing, glowing experience where you get to connect with yourself and your child on a cosmic level? 

Absolute bullshit. You were due in about 14 weeks and wanted this thing out. Did you love them? 100 percent. That didn’t mean you didn’t miss the days where leaning down didn’t feel like you were being stabbed in every muscle imaginable, or when you could actually sleep. Not to mention some days you marvelled at how a life was about to be brought into the world thanks to you and others you sat crying in Leon’s arms about how fat you were because you’d easily outgrown all of your clothes and some shoes thanks to the swelling. Hormones. Hormones were the devil.

But it was true, you found yourself running your hand over the rather firm skin of your belly in the sun streaming through the kitchen window, trying to ignore the ache in your feet whilst you stood in front of the sink. You could somewhat feel it, that bliss and awe of knowing there was a life growing inside of you. One that you’d made. No matter how sore you were, no matter how big your belly, you refused to be helpless. So you stood, glass in hand over hot soapy water. You gave it a final wipe down before setting it in the drying rack. Next you moved onto a plate.

“Excuse me miss, but you should be laying down.”

Leon’s voice had you turning to see him enter the kitchen, fresh from work but ever so happy despite his busy schedule. He’d been that way ever since you’d found out about your little one, a beacon of light and domestic joy. You hadn’t seen him this happy in a while, although there were a few occasions where he seemed this joyful; the afternoon he asked you out, the night he proposed, your wedding day, when you announced your pregnancy to him. He was happy around you, but positively ecstatic at those times.

“We’re lucky I’m even doing this without rushing to the bathroom again.” You scoffed.

His hands were resting under the weight of your swollen stomach, lifting up slightly to take some of the pressure off of your back. You had those pregnancy books to thank, Leon had studied those things like they were a mission briefing. He wanted to be fully prepared for up until the baby arrived, and that included keeping his beloved wife as comfortable as possible.

You groaned out with a creased brow of relief, lulling your head back against his shoulder. “God, that's so much better. Also I’m already on Kennedy house arrest, might as well keep myself busy while you’re gone.” 

He nuzzled his nose affectionately into the side of your face, pressing a kiss to your jaw. “Yeah well I won’t be gone anymore. I’m talking to the board about family leave, considering the fact that junior is giving you hell.”

You frowned at him. “Baby, I'm not due for another three months.”

“First off, doctor said it’s actually 14 weeks.”

That earned him an eye roll. “Same thing, smartass.”

“Second, better safe than sorry. You’re still prone to swelling, and we’re more than comfortable money wise.” 

“How can I not be safe when I’m walking around with a husband for an ankle monitor?”

A grin crept up his face with a slight shrug, ensuring not to disturb you nestled into his shoulder. “At least I’m a handsome one.”

True, the morning sickness was a pain in the ass, stomach, throat and mouth and half the time the smell of certain things like citrus had you rushing to the toilet to throw your guts up, but god if you didn’t love moments like these. Where all you had to focus on was each other and the life you were building together, despite the world constantly trying to fall out from under your feet. This sense of normality amongst the chaos of Leon’s career and the strain it put on your lives that you both powered through, fighting for one another. And now you were both willing to fight for your child and the home you’d spent so much time working for.

With gentle hands he slowly lowered your belly back down much to your dismay, gaining him a disappointed moan as you felt the weight of your unborn baby drag you back down. He then reached around you to take the dish from your hand. Unwillingly you let him.

“Alright, off you go. Rest up on the couch.”

“I’m pregnant, not made of glass.” You grumbled. 

A sweet kiss to the cheek was the closest thing to an apology you got for his statement. “Well you might as well be. I love you sweetheart, but you’ve always been accident prone, pregnant or not.” He took a step back to allow you to slip out of his arms. “Go on now.”

So you did just that, taking your step by step waddle away from the sink and into the doorway of the living room. But not before calling back to Leon.

“Alright, but I’m still cooking dinner! You aren’t allowed near that stove!”

You could hear him huffing from where you stood. “You burn water once, I swear.” He turned his head into the living room for you to hear. “And you aren’t any better, your tastes have gotten weird.”

You couldn’t help but scowl playfully, shouting back. “It’s called cravings! Complain about it when you’ve got a 7 something kilogram bowling ball using your organs as a pillow!”

You were now making some kind of attempt to take a nap but god only knows that was impossible when your child was swimming olympic laps through your uterus and making a very rough effort to barge at your pelvis.

It was time for some mama to baby talk. You pressed both hands to your stomach, whispering down at your unborn baby.

“Listen here, kid. You’re gonna get the shit loved out of you when you get out of me, so how about cutting your mum some slack for now, yeah? Might even score you a puppy.”

“Are you making empty promises because Tiny’s putting stress on you?” Clearly finished with your job and likely planning to order something for dinner, Leon came in to see you talking down at your swollen belly.

“Not like they’ve been using my bladder as a trampoline since forever. Oh, and playing hide and seek around my goddamn ribcage. Perks of their daddy being a government agent, your stupid strength must be hereditary.”

He gave you a shit-eating smile, taking a knee down next to you as you stayed laying on the sofa. “I’m flattered. Means they’ll be a worthy crash tackle competitor.”

Another frown. “You crash tackle our child in the house and I’m putting you in time out.”

“Yowch. Got it.”

Once again you felt the short-lived embrace of domestic bliss, both of you staring intently at the roundness of your body thanks to the life growing inside of you. But something was still eating away at you.

You took his hand in yours to catch his attention. Leon turned to look at you, now seeing the concern on your face.“You’re not- scared, are you? Or is that just me?”

His light chuckle hit your ears as a sign of comfort. “Oh honey I’m petrified. This is scarier than anything I’ve ever done. But I know it’ll be worth it.”

You ran your thumb across his knuckles. “We both waited long enough for this.”

“God, if that ain’t the truth.” He swallowed, eyes looking down for a moment before he looked back up into yours. This time with a touch of sadness and longing. “I never- I never thought I’d get to have a family after everything that happened. After being strung along by my job day after day I thought I’d never have that life I always dreamed of having. But then I found you.”

A loving squeeze to his hand in return to his loving nature, followed by your own joke to lift him back up. “Yeah and your swimmer found the egg, asshole.”

Just as you planned he was smiling, leaning up and over to kiss at your forehead. “Grouch all you want, sweetheart. You’re allowed to, considering the fact that you’ve been carrying around an extra tiny human.” Then his hand was leaving yours to rest on your belly. “I just- I love you so much, and if this baby is anything like you then I’m confident we’ll be okay.”

You’d marry this man for a thousand lifetimes if you could. Leon had been nothing short of a saint to you ever since you’d met, and the glow of dating turning into marriage and then parenthood had made your bond stronger than ever.

Maybe it was from seeing you talking to them or maybe it was that fatherly instinct but Leon was now craning his neck down to start talking at your stomach.

“Don’t you go being too much like your papa, okay? You can take my rugged looks and cunning wit, and definitely my humour. But you’re gonna have your mama's heart. And hopefully her laugh.” He turned to you for a second. “Man, can you imagine if they have your laugh?” Now back to the baby. “You just wait until you can hear it properly, junior. Your mother has the most amazing laugh.”

You shrugged through sore shoulders. “It’s not that great.”

Your husband was quick to disagree. “I’m sure the baby thinks otherwise.”

“Well-”

And then there it was. A hard budge to the swollen shell of your stomach, right next to Leon’s hand as if reaching out at him. 

The first full forced movement. 

You both instantly looked at each other in awe despite your obvious discomfort.

Leon stumbled for a moment. “Holy shit, did-”

“That was a kick. The baby kicked.”

If you thought he was smiling before this he was now positively beaming with pride, drawn right back down to your child. “A kick. That was a kick! It’s like she hears me, oh my god.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him. “I’m sorry, she?”

“I’ve got a knack for these things, your cravings gave it away.”

“Okay the fact that I wanted strawberries and cheese does not prove your theory, that’s a myth. They just made it look really good in Ratatouille.”

“Yes, and our daughter made you so emotional you cried when Remy got kicked out of the kitchen but that’s besides the point.” His ear was pressed right up against you, head tilted slightly against your tummy to speak against your skin to the baby in a soft voice. “Hey baby girl, do you hear me? You hear your daddy?”

Another swift kick, one that had you resting your own hand on your stomach with squinted eyes. Yup, strong like their dad. But you didn’t want to complain too much, not when Leon sat with his eyes wide and teary in absolute delight and awe. With two large hands cradling either side of your belly and an ear up to your skin almost in disbelief. The joys of fatherhood were hitting him all at once and it was nothing short of beautiful to witness.

“It’s like I can hear her heartbeat. There’s- that’s our baby. That’s our baby in there.” He was saying it quietly, as if to himself out of shock of the life inside of you.

“Lee, you’re crying.” You acknowledged with a saddened tone, wiping a stray tear from under your husband’s eye without even acknowledging your own thanks to your rushing hormones. “Honey, are you okay?”

No response, not yet anyway. He was still too busy memorising the way your child was responding to him. When the haze lessened just a smidge, Leon leaned up to rest his forehead against yours, a wide smile on his face as he spoke in a hushed whisper.

“I’m just so happy.”

Your heart could’ve broken right then and there. All Leon ever dreamt about was a family, ever since before Raccoon City. And he thought that dream was lost forever along with the place he’d sworn to protect on that day, but now it was your shared reality. He was about to have a baby with the love of his life, and he couldn’t be more thankful.

“Thank you, love. Thank you.”

You smiled right back, a smile short lived as you groaned out in pain, feeling the baby barging up against your bladder. That was your warning. “Oh yeah we gotta move. Bathroom.”

He shook his head slightly with a light-hearted scoff, blinking back up his tears. “On it.”

That was the cue for him to shift so you could waddle your way on sore feet to the bathroom, somewhat of a ritual at this point. If you weren’t overwhelmed with emotions or begging the baby to let you sleep, you were peeing. Leon stood outside the toilet as you finished up, leaning against the wall as you continued your conversation.

“I’m gonna hate you when this thing comes out.” You called out from the bathroom while drying off your hands, your voice echoing off the tiles before coming back out to join him.

Leon seemed to be the one glowing throughout your pregnancy, and he was showing it off right now in the way he stared at you like you were the most heavenly thing to walk the earth. He found you beautiful before you were pregnant, the most beautiful person in the world, but seeing you bearing his child just made you so much more gorgeous to him. “I’ve been warned of labour hate, I’m ready for it and the thousands of swear words.” He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips, settled against the wall with his hands on your hips. “I love you, sweetheart. I love you so much that you have no idea. Thank you, for all of this. For letting me have you. You and our tiny.”

“We love you too, Lee. But get me pregnant again and I’ll have you neutered.”

[wreckedandpolemic]

white gold pregnancy scare blurb? 😍

your first pregnancy scare (i say first because let’s be real the two of you fuck raw and like rabbits) happens when you’ve been together about a year, not living together per se, but something close to it. you’re up to your neck in final deadlines for uni, and the last thing you need is your parents breathing down your neck for an entire month.

when your period is late, you aren’t that worried about it at first; you’re stressed, not sleeping super well, it happens. but then it gets to two weeks, and you start to panic, and random, freak sickness throws your world completely off-kilter. matty wakes to find you crying on the bathroom floor, in a total, uncontrolled downward spiral.

“oh, darling,” he murmurs, approaching you cautiously. “what is it? what’s wrong?”

you choke on a sob. “i think i might be pregnant,” you say quietly, deliberately staring at the floor and avoiding matty’s eyes as he wraps an arm around your trembling shoulders.

“okay,” he says after a beat. “are you sure?”

you shake your head. “no. i can’t— i don’t— i can’t be a mum. not right now, anyway. but i— i know you want kids, and it’s,” you pause, biting your lip even as you press into the soothing heat of his body. “i don’t want you to think i’m scared because of you.”

he kisses the side of your head. “we’re in this together, love. you and me, yeah? whatever you want to do, i’m right there with you, okay?” you nod tearfully, overwhelmed in gratitude for his calm, soothing presence. he coaxes you back into the bedroom, lays you down on the bed and holds you, soothes you softly. the pair of you lie in quiet, resting against his chest and clinging to his arms until your cheeks have dried and your breathing evens out. “you gonna be alright if i run out and get you a test, darling?”

you try not to spiral while he’s gone. it’s not like you’ve never thought about having kids with him; most days the thought of him cradling a sweet, squishy little baby is enough to have you in floods of tears. but in those visions you aren’t twenty-two with a dissertation due in two weeks, and it all feels too fucking real.

matty’s back shockingly fast, though. he must’ve driven at least the speed limit to have been there and back in this time. especially because he’s carrying more than just a pregnancy test, arms laden with flowers and chocolates, bubble bath and face masks. he smiles, the simple action infinitely reassuring. “called off work on the way there. whatever it says, i wanna be here for my girl.” you just melt. god, you’re so fucking lucky. “wasn’t sure which one to get, so i just got ‘em all,” he says sheepishly, producing a comically large stack of pregnancy tests, the sight shocking a giggle out of you. he looks relieved, the first time you’ve laughed all morning.

you end up taking three, leaving them face down on the counter while you wait, unable to bear the tension. matty holds your hand the whole time, kisses you, murmurs reassurances against your skin. when your timer goes off, you bury your face in his shoulder. “you look. i can’t do it,” you mumble.

you watch his face as he turns over each test one by one. he’s smiling, but that doesn’t tell you anything, because he’s infuriatingly calm in situations like this. “you’re not pregnant, darling,” he says, and you crumple in relief.

“thank fucking god,” you gasp, unable to stop yourself, and he chuckles.

“alright, angel. you can stop stressin’ so much, now. i’m gonna take care of you.”

matty runs you a bath, the water silky and scented like roses, massaging the tension out of your shoulders. “you know, i do wanna have kids. with you. one day,” you add hastily.

he smiles into the skin of your neck. “gonna be the best mum, darling. when you’re ready.”

“how about we just practice making them for now?” you tease, tipping your head back so you can look in his eyes, wide with adoration.

“i like the sound of that.”

[uh-niran-really]

hiii im vaswaniimagines the ask box just wont let me change my account from my main :( PLEASE WRITE THAT PREGNANCY FIC OF SATYA AND NIRAN OR ILL KMSSS THOSE HCS WERE SO CUTE SATYA WOULD BE SO CUTE PREGNANT

Lifeweaver x Symmetra - Pregnancy

Content: Niran and Satya’s journey through pregnancy. Tagged 18+ due to some themes and slight NSFWy content! Minors DNI.

Word Count: 10,600+

A/N: Omg, I loved writing this! It was such a lovely topic to think about and I had so much fun with it! I’m so sorry to keep you waiting @vaswaniimagines but I do hope it’s worth the wait! I’m going to do some more one shots of them, because I had so many ideas that I just couldn’t fit in because the fic would be twice the length! I really hope with all my heart that you enjoy it!! 🫰🏻❤️

“Bua?”

“Yes dearest?”

“I’m pregnant.”

His heart thumped. She was so casual with this announcement, but Niran picked up on the subtle shift in her eyes as she told him. She was nervous, terrified even. She couldn’t look at him, and good thing too, because Niran was ecstatic, hardly able to contain the smile that spread wide on his cheeks. He swallowed down his excitement, favouring to comfort his wife instead.

“Oh? How do you feel about that Satya?”

“I’m not sure. I know I’m happy because we’ve spoke about kids before… I just never expected them so soon. Are you happy?”

“Oh Satya.” His arms wrapped around her in a warm hug. “I’m so in love with you! I couldn’t be happier if I tried dearest! We’re really going to have a baby!?”

She forced herself to glance into his warm eyes, which now sparkled with tears. She panicked a little trying to wipe them away and comfort him, but his lips met hers before she could overthink anymore. His left hand moved to her stomach, lingering there until they broke their kiss.

“Hello little one.” He mused, putting a small smile on her face.

“I think I’m excited. I feel.. overwhelmed but in a good way.”

“Then you’re right, that is excitement. We’re going to be parents.. wow.. that’s amazing Satya. You’re going to make the best mother.”

His mind wondered to a year in the future, their baby, happy and healthy. Satya holding him or her and rocking them gently to sleep as he watched on in awe of how perfect his little family was. He started to picture Satya with a baby bump, hair thrown up in a messy bun, cute pregnancy clothes. His cheeks flushed at the thought of her carrying their child. He didn’t think she could be more beautiful and yet-

“Bua? Did you hear me?”

“What?! Hmm?”

“I said, I’m looking forward to doing this with you. I know you’ll make a great father.”

“Satya.. There’s no one else I’d want to experience this with. You’ll make a great mother.”

——🪷——

She was out of bed and running to the bathroom again, heaving and retching the contents of her stomach. Niran followed her, heart aching for his wife. She had been hit quite badly by morning sickness, having it almost every morning. His hand rubbed her back softly, whispering his apologies and wishing he could do more for her. She tried to reply to him, but was too occupied with the waves of nausea.

“I’m so sorry dearest.. I know it’s awful, but at least we have something to look forward to today. Try to remain positive.”

“Easy for you to say Niran, you aren-“

Another bout of sickness hit her like a tonne of bricks, and she was leaning over the toilet bowl again. Niran frowned and held her hair back, being careful not to hold it too hard. She hated her hair feeling out of place or not neat in anyway, but she would hate it even more if it got dirty.

“We can ask the midwife for some anti sickness later. I wish you would let me heal you with Biolight.. it’s perfectly safe you know.”

“For fully grown adults yes. We have no idea what it would do to our baby Niran. What if your creation tries to get rid of the problem too literally.”

She worried too much, but that’s what happens when she studies for pregnancy. She was sure to read every pregnancy book she could get her hands on, wanting to learn everything she could. She knew more than most, and often tried to lecture Niran about it too, but he preferred to take things how they came. A typical Niran and Satya dynamic.

“You’re so cute when you’re pregnant.” His finger booped her nose, an attempt at being playful.

“Niran..”

“Okay Okay! No Biolight. Will you allow me to get you something to drink at least?”

She nodded, wiping at her mouth and slowly rising to her feet. Her husband certainly was attentive. She hardly had to lift a finger anymore. Niran fret over her way too much, it was borderline annoying. He flashed a charming smile at her before excusing himself to get her a glass of water. He considered pulling the tiniest bit of Biolight in the drink, but he could never do that to her. He respected her wishes, always, and hated the thought of essentially drugging her, even if it were for her own good.

“Here beautiful.”

He handed her the glass of lukewarm water. She wasn’t a fan of ice cold water, it was often far too cold for her and it triggered her sensory issues, especially now.

“Thank you Bua.”

The water certainly helped settle her stomach, but she still wasn’t feeling great. Part of her wanted to give up on this journey, it was scary, but one look at him and suddenly it was all worth it. He’d been giddy with excitement since she told him the good news. In fact, he hasn’t shut up about it! It’s all he ever seemed to talk about. It was rather cute. His nimble fingers found her waist, pulling her gently closer to him, lips almost touching.

“You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now.”

“Bua.. my hair is a mess, I’ve just been sick, my clothes are wrinkled. What exactly about me is beautiful?”

“I love you regardless dearest. You’ve always been so beautiful, but I love seeing you look so.. normal, I suppose is the word I’m looking for. What I’m trying to say Satya, is that I think pregnancy suits you, you’re gorgeous.”

She frowned which caused Niran to panic. His heart raced a million miles an hour and he started to profusely apologise if he had offended her. Satya swiftly turned around hugged the toilet bowl again, another round of sickness plaguing her.

“Oh.. It’s going to be okay love.. Here, let me hold your hair again? I’m scooping it back now okay, it’s just me, don’t worry.”

——🪷——

Satya hated being touched. She liked her personal space, and just about tolerated when Niran was in it. She understood the need for a scan, and its importance, however she wasn’t prepared for so many strangers to be touching her. Niran held her hand the entire time, reassuring her that everything was alright and that the nurses just needed to check a few things. She had her stomach measured and felt, and whilst that was a small issue, when it came time for the scan, she freaked at the look of the gel.

“Niran.. I don’t like that.”

“It’s going to feel weird but you want to see our little seedling yes?”

Seedling, his adopted name for their unborn child. He called them that due to the rapid rate of which a baby grows, much like a flower. Everything was always so flowery to him, it was rare he didn’t have an analogy for plants in his repertoire. She did want to see their ‘seedling’, but the gel didn’t look appealing in the slightest.

“Here Satya, what if I put some on my stomach too.”

“Why?”

“To show you that it isn’t all that bad.”

The nurse was all too happy to humour him, placing the smallest bit of gel on his abs. Satya watched as her over dramatic husband hissed at the cold feeling. If this was suppose to make her feel better, he had failed. Niran pouted a little, but grasped her hand and placed it over the gel.

“Here, feel. It’s not that bad Satya, really. Just cold.”

She groaned. The gel felt awful against her finger tips. It was cold, too slippery, had a weird consistency. She made a face akin to disgust, which made her lover laugh out loud. Her eyes snapped to his, an eyebrow raised, as she questioned how he could giggle so easily like a school child.

“Sorry, you’re just so cute. I know it’s scary my love, but think of seedling!”

“Fine…”

She winkled her nose as the gel was placed on her stomach, and rubbed around the desired area. She voiced her discomfort and Niran promised that it would be over soon. He was positively buzzing with energy however, it was hard for Satya not to notice. The probe was placed on her stomach and she groaned again, hating the feeling. She looked to Niran who smiled at her, giving her some level of comfort.

“Oh. That’s interesting.”

Both snapped their eyes to the nurse, hearts racing. Niran’s hand found Satya’s, squeezing gently. For Satya, this moment felt almost overwhelming. Milliseconds passed, and yet they felt like lifetimes. Was something wrong? Was their baby okay? Did she do something wrong? Niran broke the silence with a question.

“Is everything okay?”

The nurse turned the screen towards them, and they saw their little bundle on screen for the first time. Niran teared up at the sight, whilst his wife stared in awe at the screen, and then down at her own stomach. She still felt uneasy, looking to Niran for help.

“Everything looks perfectly normal, I just need to confirm something with the doctor. Nothing to worry about.”

Satya whined again at the thought of the gel staying in longer than she previously thought. Things were starting to get too much for her again. She wanted to go home. Niran sensed her discomfort in everything and squeezed her hand.

“I’m here.”

It wasn’t unlike Niran to pick up on her slight shifts in mood. He learnt to read her a long time ago, something she never did understand. She had asked him about it countless times, yet he never could give her an explanation that satisfied her. She tried to focus on him in this moment, it often helped her remain calm. He was always her anchor, her pull back to reality. His soft reassuring smile could break any holds of stress her mind placed on her. The nurse came back in, with a smile plastered on her face, intriguing Niran.

“I’ve just spoken to the doctor and showed him an image of your baby.. well.. babies. You’re having twins!! Congratulation!”

Satya tensed up and began hyperventilating. Things felt too different. One baby was enough, but she was having two. It was too soon! No, she didn’t want two! Niran spoke to her, trying his best to pull her out of her panic, but she could hardly hear him. He sounded so far away. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak. She never planned for two. She didn’t know if she could handle two. One was almost too much, let alone two!!

“Focus on me beautiful.”

Her eyes met his, a sympathetic look on his face. He looked worried too, but he was worried for her. He spoke softly, words seeking to dispel her terror. She could hardly hear what he was talking about, until he tapped the screen, grabbing her attention.

“You see them right? I know you’re scared. Truthfully I am too. We’ve faced harder challenges together, this we can do. We have time to prepare for this. Nothing has changed.”

Everything had changed. She felt sick. She had so many worries about how she would birth one baby, and now she was having to birth two. She tuned him out again, mind spinning, but he didn’t give up. As gently as he could and mindful to give her space, he sat on the hospital bed, taking both her hands in his. Niran was sure to narrate everything he did, making sure not to startle her. Before long she gave him her attention again.

“My love, you can do this. We talked about having a big family, now you only need to do this once. We can stop at two.”

He felt as though his words were scaring her more, but he had to try. He hated seeing her this way. In his head, having twins meant that she need only experience pregnancy once. They always wanted at least two children. She often envied his large family, growing up an only child herself, though she hardly remembered her family. His words made some sense to her, the more she thought about it, the more she realised he was right. Whilst scary, she would only need to do this once. She grunted softly, hands squeezing his.

“That’s my girl.”

He was relieved to see her mind start to settle. He always did try to remain calm and patient with her. It wasn’t her fault she became like this, so patience was the least he could offer. He had always been there for her when they were kids.

They both recall the first time she shutdown. They were in class and she got overwhelmed, sitting in the floor, covering her ears with her hands. She remembers a crowd forming around her, poking and touching her without permission. She remembers the terror she felt in that moment. It was too much to handle. It made things so much worse.

“Out of the way! Give her some space!”

She recognised his cream hair first, her eyes watching him as he knelt down in front of her. She squealed and he backed away a little, apologising for getting too close. Niran remembered how terrified Satya looked, and how he hated people scaring her more.

“Vaswani, it’s me. Your roommate. You remember me right? You’re safe. You’re with me.”

Since that day she trusted him completely. She always felt different at Vishkar but Niran never treated her any differently. He always showed her respect and care. Swiftly, she flung her arms around her husband, holding him close to her.

“I love you..”

“I love you too, and our little seedlings.”

——🪷——

The smell of Tom Yum soup wafted through the air, and had Satya salivating. She had such a craving for Niran’s home country cuisines. She craved it so much and so often she sobbed for it.

It was 3am when Satya shook her husband awake, crying over a craving she was having, begging him to make it for her. Whilst he was happy to get up and make it, she whined softly for him to hurry up, she was so hungry so could cry all night.

“Patience love, it’s nearly ready.”

Niran grabbed a spoon and allowed her a taste, to settle her craving somewhat. She was all too happy to slurp it down, complaining that it wasn’t enough and that she needed more. The Thai man grinned and turned up the heat, cooking it just a tad bit faster. He led his pretty pregnant wife over to the sofa, which he bundled with blankets to keep her cozy and warm.

“Niran..”

“I’ll grab you a bowl now gorgeous.”

True to his word he ladled a hearty amount of soup in a large bowl, and grabbed her a clean spoon. He was mindful to adjust the dish slightly to account for the spice, not wanting Satya to suffer from the heat she could usually handle. Pregnancy was hard enough, without having to deal with the effects of too much spice on top.

“Here you are my dear, I hope it’s to your liking.”

“Can you get the peanut butter from the fridge?”

“Of course.”

He head back over to the kitchen, grabbing the jar of peanut butter and a fresh spoon. She had been craving it recently by the spoonful. They ran out the other day and she sobbed for an hour straight until Niran returned with a fresh jar. He didn’t understand cravings but he always did his best to accommodate them, wanting her to be happy.

“Here you are, are you craving it again- What are you doing?”

He watched in horror as his wife practically hollowed out the peanut butter into his soup, mixing as best she could before taking a sip and smiling in delight. She was kicking her feet in pure joy, eyes rolling back in ecstasy.

“Better!”

“Satya- If you wanted peanuts.. I could have just made you Pad Thai..”

“I’m not craving Pad Thai. I wanted Tom Yum and peanut butter Bua.”

Niran looked as if he could cry, but he shook his head remembering that she had no control over her cravings. She was adorable regardless. He served himself a bowl, returning to sit next to her, snuggling up close together and turning on the TV.

“Is your peanut flavoured Tom Yum nice?” He teased.

“Yes! Would you like to try some?!”

Her eyes sparkled, she looked so eager to have him try a spoonful, he could hardly say no. He nodded and learned forward, mouth open for her to feed him a spoonful. To his surprise it wasn’t half bad. He wouldn’t eat it out of choice, but he understood why she liked it.

“That’s not bad actually!”

“Would you like some in your soup?” She asked, holding up the peanut butter.

“No thank you love, you’ll run out if you keep offering it to me.”

They sat eating their soup together, watching whatever was on at 3:30am. Satya finished her bowl pretty quickly so Niran got up to serve her another. He loved to make his wife happy. It brought him so much joy to see her smile, especially when she had bad days in between. Pregnancy was hitting her hard, she had to go through a lot of different changes, and so quickly too.

She had started to grow bigger, forming a distinctive bump already. They knew she would be quite a bit bigger, due to the fact she was carrying twins, but it didn’t make it any less easier. She was so beautiful and radiant that Niran could hardly contain his love for her, wanting to find little ways to make her smile or even brighten her day.

He watched as his adorable little soup monster slurped down the second bowl of soup, moaning in delight as the flavours hit her tongue. She was certainly more relaxed in this state. Non pregnant Satya would never slurp her food, or cry over the smallest changes. He found her more human this way, but also did miss the old her. Regardless of her mood, or her mindset, he was still so deeply in love with her. Nothing would change that.

——🪷——

“Nughh.. Satya..”

Niran couldn’t stand it. She just looked so beautiful this way. Satya hated her appearance currently. She wasn’t one to usually care too much what others thought of how she looked, however it was starting to get to her. She hated that she couldn’t wear her usual clothes, she hated that her hair always felt different, she hated how heavy her breasts started to feel and how large her stomach had gotten. Niran only saw a goddess. She was beautiful in his eyes. A perfect being.

“You’re so beautiful..”

“Nothing fits me Niran.. I hate my hair.. my breasts hurt… I don’t feel comfortable! I hate it.”

“Oh love.. I’m sorry you don’t feel good.. can I help?”

He could. Recently she had been missing him in a way she never really considered she would. Satya had weighed up all the possibilities, listed all the things that would change, she planned for everything. But not this. She craved him. Was this another pregnancy craving? She wasn’t sure, but when she looked at Niran, her cheeks flushed.

“Can we have sex?”

“Sure but, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just miss being close to you like that.”

Niran smiled and pulled his wife in for a kiss. He loved the idea, truly. He missed the intimate nights they spent together. Hot and heavy nights fuelled by passion and burning desire. He missed the sight of her under him, flushed and all for him.

He did have a few concerns however, one being him hurting her and the other being her mental state. It was out of the blue for her to just ask him like that. She was never one to outright ask, favouring small gestures to indicate what she wanted.

“I miss that too, I’m just a little worried I’ll hurt you gorgeous.”

“You won’t.”

“What’s brought this on? Has something happened?”

Her sweet husband was always a worrier. He cared so deeply about her opinion and her well-being that he often worried over the smallest shift in her mood. He would love nothing more than to ravish with her right now, she looked so perfect he could hardly contain himself.

“I just feel like doing it. Is that a problem?”

“Goodness no. I can be gentle, just, you’re sure?”

“Yes.”

He smiled softly, moving forward and holding out his hand. When she took it, he gently pulled her closer, lips landing on hers. He missed her too. He had gotten use to her lower sex drive over the years, but this was new, it was exciting. Although pregnant, it was still effortless to carry her, he just made sure to be a little more careful with her.

“I love you Satya.”

“Don’t get sentimental on me Bua. I don’t need that.”

“I can’t tell my gorgeous pregnant wife that I love her?”

Without realising he had began to tear up. This woman meant everything to him. Satya became concerned and reached up to dry his tears, worrying she had upset him. It was only then he realised he was crying. Slowly he placed her on the bed, sitting beside her and staring lovingly at her bump.

“Do you want to just cuddle for a while Bua?”

“Is that okay? I’m sorry.. I don’t know what came over me.. I’m all over the place. I want to have sex.. I just need some time to process my emotions.. clearly..”

“You act as if you’re the one that’s pregnant.”

“Goodness, aren’t we lucky I’m not. I’d be more high maintenance than I already am.”

He chuckled softly, trying to lift the mood, yet tears fell freely. He couldn’t pinpoint the emotion. He wasn’t sad, he wasn’t too overjoyed, he wasn’t feeling much of anything, and yet when he looked at Satya he felt compelled to cry. He’d never loved her more. He hated seeing her in pain, tired, frustrated. He wished he could do more for her. Maybe that’s why he felt this way. He felt guilty. He had been the one to do this to her, he had gotten her in this situation, and he couldn’t do a thing to help. He couldn’t even give her what she wanted what now.

“Niran, I love you.”

“And I you. I just worry I’m not giving you enough. I wish to do more.”

“You can rub cream on my stomach, maybe give my breasts a massage? I’m feeling a little sore.”

Whilst she was a little disappointed at the lack of friction that she so desperately craved, she understood his feelings. It was nice seeing Niran so vulnerable. He did everything she ever asked, without question. He was the perfect husband, and deserved to be cut some slack. His eyes lit up like a puppy dogs when he touched her stomach. He longed for the day their babies would kick.

Satya handed him a tub of cream, a moisturiser that was said to help keep her skin healthy and reduce stretch marks, though she wasn’t so bothered by the idea of them. She liked the way it made her skin feel. A form of self care that made her feel normal.

“Not too much okay?”

“Is this enough?” Niran asked, scooping up a decent amount with his fingers.

Satya nodded, then laid back against the pillows and let Niran work the cream into her skin, sighing softly at the contact. His touch was just what she needed. It calmed her and soothed her worries. Whilst gentle, he was also meticulous at making sure every inch of her stomach was covered. He loved to do this for her, one of his love languages being acts of service. Nothing was too much for her, ever.

“Thank you Bua. Feels so much better.”

He smiled, loving the praise she so willingly gave him. He finished up, rubbing the last of the cream into her skin before turning attention to her breasts.

“Are they still sore?”

“Very..”

“Perhaps they are swollen.. do you think you’ve started the process to feed the twins?”

“I would assume so.. they hurt so badly.”

“Allow me to help.”

He flicked his wrist, Biolight sparking to life. If he could just heal her a little then perhaps she wouldn’t be in so much pain.

“Niran no, we’ve spoken about this.. We don’t know its effects on the babies.”

“Satya.. I just wish to help..”

“I know Bua, and I love you for it. I just worry that your Biolight will harm them in its attempts to help me.”

He frowned but understood her concerns. It was a valid point, one he would need to test. He loved her, and only ever wanted the best, so respected her in every way he could.

“Okay my love..”

“Could you rub them a little? I think that would help.”

“That I can do, honey.”

She sat forward, allowing him to slip in behind her, resting her back against his chest. She could hardly wear her bra right now, it felt too tight against her chest, often making the feeling worse. She needed to go shopping for new clothes too, as borrowing Niran’s wouldn’t work forever. He was all too happy to dress her up in his clothes though, she looked rather cute swamped in his sweater, though now she had the bump, it left little to the imagination.

Carefully, he lifted the jumper up over her chest, being mindful not to knock her breasts. She winced as his hands moved to touch them, though he tried his best not to hurt her.

“Have you tried to see if you can pump colostrum? Maybe that will help.”

“They haven’t been leaking it. I don’t think I’m ready, but maybe it’s worth a try.”

He began to massage her breasts as carefully as he could, taking in the increased size. They had grown at least two cup sizes, and looked very sore and engorged. His thumb accidentally flicked over her nipple and she moaned softly, making his heart thump. The noise so soft and innocent it had his breath hitching in response.

“S-sorry..”

“It’s okay, I’m just sensitive.”

He was careful not to do that again, at least for a while. The sound she made sent his blood flowing south. Such a soft whimper, and yet it did such dangerous things to his heart. He tried to get the thought out of his head, but the sound replayed again and again in his head. His hands were gentle, but his resolve was wavering. He would love nothing more than to make her whimper for him. He was certain she could feel just how turned on he was by her, a part of him felt a little ashamed by it all, but who could blame him for feeling this way about her. He flicked his thumb over her nipple again and she moaned a little louder, rubbing her ass against him in response, nuzzling her head back into his neck.

“My love.. I- I think.. Can we?”

“The offer still stands Niran, just be gentle.”

——🪷——

“Niran!!”

Niran popped his head around the living room door, eyes wide, a little worried about her. His eyes softened when he saw she was perfectly fine and in no danger. She said nothing else, but took his hand and led him over to the sofa, sitting down and tugging him down to sit with her.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright? You scared me-“

She placed his hand over her stomach and he fell silent, eyes welling up with tears, his cybernetic hand moving to cover his mouth. The babies were kicking. Niran was silent, hand resting so lovingly over her tummy, feeling the tiny kicking sensations. Satya watched in awe of her husband, loving this sweet movement that they got to share.

“Our babies.. Oh Satya!!!”

His head moved to gently rest atop her stomach, wanting to be closer to his children. Her hand moved to play with his hair and he purred in response. He felt a kick once more and he kissed the spot it came from so lovingly.

“Daddy loves you two, so much!”

“I read somewhere that you should talk to them at the later stages of pregnancy.”

“That would make sense, I’m sure they can recognise our voices on some level.”

Niran sat up, but not before placing another kiss on her stomach. Satya opted to cuddle her lover, resting her head on his shoulder. Things were stressful but made simpler with him in the picture. She never imagined a life with kids, and certainly not a husband. She always assumed she’d be married to her job, slaving away over paperwork and countless Vishkar screw ups.

“You’re thinking of Vishkar again?”

“How could you tell?”

“I know how to read you Satya. You stim in a certain way when the company is on your mind. You’re safe now, I’m here.”

She hadn’t realised she had begun to stim. She supposed that was a good thing, given all that had happened. Vishkar taught her to be ashamed of her stimming. That it was unprofessional, rude and not becoming of a Vishkar architect. Niran however loved when she stimmed. He always said it humanised her, made her less robotic, like the company wanted. She was grateful for him, he never judged her in all their years of knowing one another. He truly loved her. The fact she could subconsciously stim around him was undeniable proof of just how much she loved him too. Her Bua. Her light. Her husband.

“Satya.. you’re crying.. oh my sweet girl..” His arms wrapped tighter around her, pulling her onto his lap for a closer snuggle.

“I’m just so happy I fell in love with you..”

“It means the world to me to hear you say that my love. I love you more than life itself.”

——🪷——

Satya was woken up to the sound of her husband groaning from living room. He sounded frustrated with something, so she got up to check, waddling as fast as her heavily pregnant body would allow her.

“Bua?”

“Oh.. Did I wake you? Forgive me..” He placed an apologetic kiss to her forehead and helped her sit down on the sofa.

“What’s wrong?”

Niran sighed, handing her his phone. On it was a text chain between him and his mother. Satya didn’t need to ask further questions as to why he was frustrated, she could already see why.

“She wants to visit today..”

“I see.”

Niran wasn’t on the best terms with his parents. It was clear they loved him, but after what happened between him and Vishkar, he wasn’t so sure anymore. They cut him off completely when he left, refusing him access to his wealth, connections or general safety. He spent sleepless nights scared and alone, in need of his parent’s love and support. He experienced things no one should have to experience, and a lot of those things could have been avoided if they acted differently.

He hazarded a guess that they thought it would force his hand, making him return his tech to Vishkar and come home. It didn’t. It created a rift, one that never did quite heal, even now. He didn’t hate them, far from it, he just wished things were different.

“Niran, you don’t have to agree to this.”

“No, but it would be good for the twins to grow up knowing them. Generational healing and all that..”

A few hours passed and they heard the sound of a helicarrier approaching, knowing who it was carrying. Niran went down to meet his mother, surprised to see his older sister was with her, something his mother didn’t care to mention.

“Mother, what a pleasant surprise to see you here. Shame you couldn’t visit me at the Arcology when I lived there for years.”

“I’m still mad you didn’t invite us to your wedding!! How could you marry Satya and not even at least spare a thought for us Niran. I raised you better! We didn’t even know you had gotten engaged, and now you tell me she’s pregnant!”

Raised was the biggest overstatement. She hardly raised him. Shipped him off to Vishkar at the earliest opportunity. Still he forced a smile and bowed his head out of respect. His sister said nothing, but clearly agreed with her mother, she always did.

“I sent you an invite. Several actually.”

“Well.. umm.. You know how post is! Always getting lost! Anyway.. Where is my daughter in law! I can’t wait to see her again.”

Typical overbearing mother. Brushes the issue under the rug and pretends it never existed. He hoped that they would be gentle with Satya, because back at the academy they were not. Not that they ever abused her or were mean in any way, oh no, quite the opposite. His mother always doted on her, brought her too many gifts and always tried too hard. His sister was just as guilty, if not worse. They adore Satya, often preferring her calmer demeanour and high work effect over their lazy and disobedient son/brother.

“Indeed, hence why I sent serval.” He frowned, not wanting the let the issue go, but what choice did he have. “Satya is upstairs resting. I would ask you not to fuss over her too much. She’s tired..”

“Nonsense! We never fuss over her too much!”

“Oh but you do..” Niran mumbled under his breath, turning swiftly and leading them up to the apartment. “I’d like to put past issues aside, for Satya’s sake. Please be mindful of her. She’s not found things easy recently, do not make things worse.. for her.”

Once back at the apartment it was clear to Niran that they didn’t listen to a word he said. Satya had been presented with so many lavish gifts, that she was starting to get overwhelmed. Their living room had been transformed into baby storage space. They had everything they could ever need for raising a baby and way too much more. Niran and Satya weren’t ungrateful, far from it, but it did get a little overbearing after the first two minuets of suffocating Pruksamanee love.

“Okay just a few more gifts Satya!!” Niran’s sister smiled, presenting a large box that another tired butler carried in.

They were ridiculous, but Satya loved them all the same. She could tell Niran was getting stressed out for her sake, but she did her best to grin and bear it. His sister unwrapped it for her revealing a new baby carrier. Notably one for a single child. It hadn’t clicked until now, that they weren’t aware they were having twins, which was surprising given the amount of gifts they brought. (Or rather, that their butlers had brought up…)

“It’s- it’s lovely..”

“You don’t like it? I can always get you a new one. Is it the colour? I knew we should have gone for gold mother! Satya doesn’t like it..”

Satya eyed Niran for help, things were getting too much and she needed a break. Niran, being the loving husband he is, stepped in. Things were getting out of hand and their antics, whilst given with the best intentions, were slowly getting to him.

“The gift is fine, we love it. It’s just….. we’re having twins.”

“TWINS?!” Both woman gasp.

“Why didn’t you say anything?! We could have brought more gifts to account for the second child!”

“Mother please..”

“You always were useless at communicating anything! Why did you not say anything sooner!”

“You’re trying too hard.. you brought way too much as it is.. mother I love you, but please.. Can’t you see you’re stressing Satya out..”

The room fell silent, all eyes landing on Satya, who was by all accounts, stressed out by everything that was going on. She knew they meant well, they always tried their best to show her how loved she was, especially during her academy days. She was used to dealing with them and how they threw money at her at every chance they got. She felt incredibly loved, and she loved them too. The only thing she wished for was for them to handle situations normally, with less money involved. She just wanted a civil convocation, nothing over the top, just a sweet little chat about things. She wanted to feel normal around them and not just if she was some prize to win over.

“Satya.. I’m ever so sorry if we caused you any trouble..”

“It’s fine.. I’m just still not use to all the gifts..”

His mother was one of the sweetest ladies Satya ever had the pleasure of meeting. It was clear she adored Satya, and that’s all she ever wanted. She wanted to belong, to fit in with this lavish family that she was now apart of.

“Can’t we just have a chat.. I wish to feel normal..”

For the next few hours the four of them sat and talked about the wedding, and Satya’s experiences with pregnancy so far. It felt more natural, certainly more calming. Satya allowed his mum and sister to feel her stomach, she wasn’t sure why they wanted to, but was happy to allow it anyway.

“I’m happy you married my son, Satya. Does he treat you well?”

“Knowing Niran, it’s Satya that looks after him.”

Niran rolled his eyes, and Satya went on to gush about how amazing her husband is, much to the two women’s surprise. She spoke about how he always did his best for her, always protected her, would give anything to see her smile. Her words touched him, and he couldn’t help but she’d a tear over how wonderful his wife is. He made a mental note to kiss her later, knowing she hated public displays of affection.

“See to it that you keep looking after her Niran. If I find out my Daughter in law is unhappy-“

“Yes mother! What do you think I’ve been doing the last few years!”

“Good. I raised you to be a gentleman.”

Niran swore if he eye rolled any harder he’d go blind. Soon his mother and sister were saying their goodbyes, his sister quite literally attacking Satya with kisses on both cheeks, squealing about how she couldn’t wait to be an auntie, and how she was happy they were sisters in law. Niran’s mother teared up again and gushed about how perfect of a daughter in law Satya was, once again scolding Niran for something, anything.

Once they left, the pair slumped back on the sofa and let out an exhausted sigh. Another overbearing Pruksamanee family visit completed. They weren’t awful people, but it was best to stick to small doses when they were involved.

“I’m so sorry my love.. Did I ever use to be that insufferable.. ugh I hate to think..”

“I like your family. They mean well.”

“They’re always trying to help. Frankly, I prefer if they gave up.”

She knew they weren’t on good terms, but he did his best. He was heartbroken when they didn’t attend his wedding. He tried so hard to make an effort for them, yet they gave him little in return. They were trying now however, and that’s all that mattered. Satya knew it was going to take Niran some time to feel comfortable around them again, time she was willing to give him.

“They love you. Me and the seedlings do too!”

——🪷——

After the stressful visit, the pair decided to make time for each other. Satya was at that stage where she was starting to feel tired more often, which led to her getting more needy for him to just cuddle with her for a while.

“Bua, I require a cuddle.”

“Of course, let me just-“

“Now please..”

She needn’t say another word. She looked so cute all pouty and expectant, his heart swelled at the sight. She reached her arms out to him from the sofa and made grabby hands, almost like a baby would. She was demanding in the cutest way, he couldn’t deny her.

“Oh my little baby.”

He slipped in beside her, and she slowly put her arms around him, making a cute little grunt sound on contact. She often made cute noises when she was happy, a trait he adored about her.

“Not so little anymore.. I’m huge.”

“More of you to love Satya, plus it’s a good thing no? More room for the little ones. We don’t want the seedlings getting squished now do we?”

“I suppose not..”

He firmly planted his lips against her forehead, his own arms wrapping around her for a cuddle. She was incredibly comfortable like this. He was warm and even started to wear thick fluffy sweaters to help with her sensory needs, craving the softness they bring. She liked the feel of them in her current state, and lord knows he wanted to avoid another clothing meltdown.

“Safe.” She purred against him.

“Always.” He chuckled.

The sweetest of moments often came at times like this. Satya had come to appreciate him more during this whole journey. He wasn’t perfect, but he made sure to put the effort in and give her everything she needed. As for Niran, he learnt that Satya was a force to be reckoned with. She had overcome so many problems and so many sensory issues, just to give him something he’s always wanted. A family. He loved watching her throughout pregnancy. He loved the new habits she had picked up. He loved her.

“I love you.” They both said, giggling as they realised the other had also said those words.

Loving the other was easy, it came with no stress nor strain. There’s no one Satya would rather do this with. He was her Bua, the person she trusted most with all her heart. There’s no one Niran would rather have kids with. She was his dearest, the person he loved more than anything in the world.

——🪷——

“That’s everything packed in the hospital bag Satya.”

“Did you pack everything I asked? Even the stuff you don’t deem worth packing?”

“Yes dear.”

This week, Satya started cleaning the whole apartment top to bottom. She had come to learn the phrase ‘nesting behaviour’ and quite liked it. She wanted everything to be ready for the babies, they would be far too busy when the twins would arrive.

“Niran have you had a chance to clean out the spare room yet?”

“No love, I’ll do it later today.”

“Can you do it now please?”

“Satya I’m a little busy with the fifty other jobs you gave me.”

Satya glared. She was starting to get a little stressed out with him. She gave him simple tasks with clear instructions, tasks they would take her no longer than thirty seconds and yet he was barely on his second task.

“Bua, please stop procrastinating.”

“I’m not!! Can you give me a break please!”

Niran was stressed too. Between the constant cleaning and looking after his heavily pregnant wife, he also had the babies on his mind. Their due date was looming ever closer, and he was worried for Satya. It was going to be a stressful process for her, he was trying not to allow himself to stress.

“It would be wise for you not to upset me Niran. I’m very hormonal. Honestly, you’re hopeless!”

“I’m sorry dearest.. I know you are.. I just have a lot on my mind too.. I’m trying my best..”

She felt a little bad for nagging him. He was all she could ever ask for and more. He did everything she asked, even if it did take him a little longer than expected. He had to do a lot of the heavy lifting, in fact lifting in general, not wanting to risk her hurting herself. It was clear to see why he was stressed and she quickly regret raising her voice at him.

“No, I’m sorry.. I should cut you a break Bua..”

“No need to apologise. I understand what you’re going through. I’m just a bit overtired is all. I haven’t been sleeping much recently.”

Neither of them could sleep well, and they would certainly need it once the babies arrived. Satya was too hot to sleep. She constantly felt sweaty and uncomfortable in any position. Her back and breasts ached so badly it’s all she could think about.

As for Niran, he constantly worried for her. He was scared how she would react come time to birth not one but two babies. Couple that with listening to his beautiful wife sob in pain and discomfort. How could he sleep knowing she could not.

“How are you feeling honey?”

“I’m so tired Niran.. everything hurts.. but I need to finish cleaning.”

“You need to listen to your body. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

She tried to protest, but Niran wouldn’t take no for an answer. Instead he simply took her hand, and led her back to their room for her to lie down, whilst he finished off all his tasks and all of the cleaning jobs she started too.

She felt a little bad leaving him to do the rest, but on some level he was right. She would need all her strength in the coming days. It was getting to the point that standing was a hassle. Her back and breasts ached terribly and she just couldn’t wait to give birth.

Niran returned to ask her opinion on whether to keep something or donate it, but was delighted to find she had fallen asleep. His heart swelled and he just couldn’t help but take a picture of how sweet she looked. Her arms cradled her bump and she was well and truly out for the count. He sighed lovingly, gently placing a blanket on top of her and kissing her cheek.

“Sweet dreams dearest.”

——🪷——

The day was like any other. The couple spent their day together, enjoying a bit of time for themselves. They were recanting stories from their days at the academy, and enjoying one of the last moments as a couple, rather than a family.

“What do you miss most about the academy Satya?”

“Your snoring. It helped me sleep.”

“I don’t tend to snore much these days.

“You certainly do! I’m just too pregnant to get much of any sleep.”

They both laughed, before sharing a sweet kiss. The day was peaceful, quiet. It was all about to change. Satya laughed at one of Niran’s jokes, a little two hard, when she felt a popping sensation quickly followed by a gush of liquid below. Eyes wide, she looked to her husband, who stared back at her in complete shock.

“OH MY GOODNESS!!” Niran panicked. Hard.

He shot up off the sofa and ran to their bedroom to grab their hospital bags. He began listing things out loud that needed to take with them, mind whipped up in a frenzy.

“Keys, bags, Satya! Keys, bags, Satya! Keys! WHERE ARE THE KEYS?!”

“Niran..”

“I CANT FIND THEM! GAHHHH WHERE DID I PUT THEM?!”

“Niran..”

“UH NIRAN.. REALLY?! YOU LOSE THE KEYS NOW! YOU’RE SUCH AN IDIO-“

“NIRAN.”

His eyes snapped to her. She remained on the sofa, completely calm. She had a certain tranquility about her, one he envied at this time. She smiled at the stupid look on his face. He looked like a deer in headlights, eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

“Please calm down. It’s normal. We have time. Come and sit with me, and could you get me a towel?”

Niran nodded, still a little stunned to speak. She always did have a way of rendering him silent. He returned with a towel and a spare change of clothes for her, which she was grateful for. Still he said nothing, unsure of what to say.

“Niran, are you okay?”

He wasn’t sure. All he could think to do was hug her, squeezing her as tight as he could without hurting her or the babies. He was terrified, elated, excited. His brain was a mash up of different emotions, and he was still trying to form a consensus of what to feel.

“Yes. I apologise.”

“I’m scared too.. Everything is about to change again.”

He released her from his embrace, opting to hold her hand instead. They were going to be parents, to two wonderful babies.

“Satya, change can be good. I’m sorry for worrying and making it worse. You can do this! I’m right here. Every step of the way.”

“Yes, you’re right. I’m feeling okay.. I just don’t like change.”

“I know gorgeous, but we planned for this. Nothing has changed really.”

He was right in that sense. They had a whole plan laid out. She was aware of everything that would happen, she knew everything there was to know. Things would be fine, because she had her best friend and devoted husband by her side the whole time.

——🪷——

She was feeling fine until they got to the hospital, then everything got too much for her. She started to realise just how daunting this whole thing was and just how under prepared she really was. Niran remained by her side, promising her everything would be okay.

Thankfully Niran’s parents arranged a private delivery room for her with the best doctors and midwives possible. Nothing was too good for her. This was one of the times Niran was grateful for their overbearing presence. It would afford Satya some comfort, which she was desperately in need of.

Once in the room, Satya started to feel a little better about the whole thing, until the contractions started. They were so sudden and so painful she started to question if something was wrong. She felt as though she would throw up from the sensation, each and every time one hit. The constant contracting made it almost impossible for her to think of anything else. She couldn’t breathe through them, which only seemed to panic her more.

“I know it feels weird, it’s just your body getting ready… take some deep breaths with me. In…. And out….”

“I’m scared!!”

“I know darling… If I could take this pain from you I would.. Squeeze my hand..”

Niran offered her his hand to squeeze, and squeeze she did. She squeezed so hard her knuckles turned pale, tears spilling down her face as she looked to Niran for help. She didn’t want to go through with this anymore, she wanted it to stop. He did his best to comfort her, reminding her that he was right by her side and that she could do it, trying to remain supportive. Satya however couldn’t think past the pain, screaming each time a contraction hit. It was awfully traumatic.

“You can do this! You’ve achieved so much, this is another thing to add to your list of achievements Satya, please.. I know it hurts.. I’m so sorry…”

“MAKE IT STOP! I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS! ITS TOO MUCH! ITS TOO SOON!”

“Satya.. I’m right here.. listen to me.. I’m not going anywhere. I wish I could slow it down for you.. I wish I could make it easier.. I’m so sorry…”

Nothing could ever prepare her for the pain of childbirth however, she felt as though she was being tore in half. With each scream, Niran’s heart broke just a little bit more. He was desperate to heal her, but she wouldn’t let him for the same reasons as before, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t think about it.

“You’re so close! I’m so proud of you! Oh Satya, I’ve never loved you more!”

Her mind began to tick on to autopilot and she started to shutdown. Everything was so overwhelming. The pain was too much, the lights were too bright, too many people touching her, too many people in her personal space. After a while stopped screaming, eyes fixed on a point in front of her, body going limp. Her mind was beginning to shut itself off from her body, at the worst possible time.

“No no! Satya, please if nothing else, listen to me. I’m right here! You feel my hand right? Squeeze it for me! Satya I’m right here, think of the kids. They are so excited to meet their beautiful, amazingly talented, perfect mother. You want to meet them too right? You can do this honey!”

“I’m so scared…. Please make it stop…”

“If there’s one thing I know about you Satya, it’s that you don’t give up. You’re a fighter!”

All she had to do was get through the pain. It hurt worse than being shot, and she had experienced that a few times working at Vishkar. Niran’s words spurred her on though and she found the strength to birth their first child, though she did so screaming and crying in pain.

She screamed so loud another doctor rushed in to check on them. Niran chocked back a sob, he could cry later, but right now she needed him most. He had never seen her like this and it terrified him. He had no right to panic, not when she was going through this.

“Just one more, you know you can do this. I’m so proud of you my love!”

“I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN!!!”

“You know what to expect now.. It wont hurt anymore than the first.. That’s the boundary.. You CAN do this. You’ve proved so already..”

By the time their second was born, she was exhausted and in floods tears, her body shaking and mind still trying to catch up to what her body had just been through. The moment he was able to, Niran perked her up using his Biolight. It danced across her skin, tingling a bit as it seeped in, it felt weird feeling it again after so long, but she was grateful. He hoped it would give her some strength back and ease the pain as much as possible.

Satya reacted over and grabbed Niran pulling him in for a hug, body still shaking and half her mind still fixed on what she just went through. His warm arms were like another form of healing though, they helped her feel safe, and she started to calm down. She kept hold of Niran’s hand the whole time, apologising if she had hurt him.

Niran allowed himself to cry now, breaking down in a flood of tears. He was a father, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty for what she just went through. Although his tears were mostly joyous, some were guilt, for doing this to her. They remained connected via their hands, still firmly grasping each other. She was able to begin to regulate how she was feeling but Niran could tell she was mentally and physically drained.

“Congratulations, you have a very healthy baby boy and an equally healthy baby girl.”

“You hear that gorgeous? Both are healthy. You did so well Satya, I’m so proud of you. I know that was a lot for you..”

They had chosen to keep their genders a surprise until birth, something for them to look forward to. Satya was happy to have one of each, and Niran was elated to have at least one daughter. He dreamed of having a little girl to dress up in beautiful clothes someday and now he had just that, and an adorable son too! They lucked out.

“Do you feel up to holding them Satya? I know that you’re still processing, but I think holding them would help.”

Niran wanted Satya to hold the babies first, it was only fair seeing as she put all the effort in. He was willing to wait as long as she needed, encouraging her to process it all for as long as it took. She didn’t need to rush, she could take her time. Once she was ready, the nurse handed the babies to her, one in each arm.

Her mind became clearer the moment she made contact with them. The whole ordeal was still very traumatic, but she and the babies were very healthy, and that majorly eased her concerns too. Holding them was like a reset for her mind. It was a constant reminder that she and the twins were both healthy. It proved to her that she did it, and it allowed her to start to move past the trauma and enjoy the moment, even if it was only for now.

The twins were such tiny little things, and would look even smaller in Niran’s arms. She couldn’t believe that she had been carrying these little angels this whole time, the concept was still pretty crazy to her.

“Should I talk to them?”

She wasn’t really sure what to do in this moment. Her mind was still elsewhere, but getting better. She thought her motherly instincts would kick in, but maybe she just needed some time to process it all.

“Do what feels natural dearest.”

Niran’s hand rested gently on her shoulder, still very much in tears, staring lovingly at his new family. Satya had given him the most precious thing of all, and for that he couldn’t love her more if he tried. Both babies were healthy, and adorable looking. He was a proud husband and father.

“Hi.. I’m your mother and I love you both so very much..” She spoke softly. “And this blubbering idiot here is your father… I am sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Hey!”

Niran was amused by her quip, whipping his tears from his cheeks and leaning down to kiss her forehead. She smirked at him and stuck her tongue out in fun. He was glad to see her start to relax after what was quite possibly one of the more traumatic events in her life.

“Sooooo… Can I hold them now?!!” He was giddy, practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. “Come on, share! You’ve carried them for nine months, I want a turn!”

His eyes sparkled with delight when she nodded, shifting in her bed and turning to him. A nurse helped her hand the twins to him and he was surprised at just how light they were to carry, it had his heart melting.

“Hey there my little seedling…Oh my goodness Satya! They are even cuter up close!” He squealed silently, not wanting to upset them. “Woah.. They are perfect aren’t they!?”

“Did you expect anything less from such an efficient architect?”

“Ahem, two efficient architects thank you.”

“You don’t count, you’re a drop out.”

Niran gasped, feigning shock. If he had a hand free, he would have placed it to his forehead, pretending that he was about to faint. He was very dramatic like that.

“Not in front of the twins Satya! I have to make a good first impression!” He teased.

“Dummy, they’ll come to realise just how useless you are in due time Bua, but they’ll love you for it.”

“So mean isn’t she!” He exclaimed to the babies.

It was times like this that Satya really appreciated Niran. He was never afraid to joke around with her and lighten the mood. It was just what she needed in a time like this. He was already a great father, she could tell he adored the twins more than anything in the world.

“In all honestly my little seedlings.. I’m going to love and protect you with all that I have. You will grow up with the best childhood and will never face the horrors that your mother and I have faced. Nothing will harm you for as long as your mother and I live. You are very cherished little ones. Daddy loves you!”

They decided on names rather quickly, choosing to call their son ‘Surya’ meaning sun, and their daughter ‘Chandra’ meaning moon. Very fitting names given the couples history, such pretty names too. Whilst Satya got some much needed sleep, Niran dressed the twins in into their one pieces, with matching hats to keep them warm. They looked so perfect, that Niran couldn’t help but shed a tear again. He looked over at his sleeping wife, heart thumping.

“Thank you Satya.”

——🪷——

“And then out of no where your mother throws up the most gorgeous looking hardlight wall I have ever seen! Not a single Null Sector made it past her that day, I made sure of that of course! Nothing is going to harm my Satya!”

Niran was recounting their ordeal with Null Sector back at the Arcology. He told the twins how brave and selfless Satya was, and how she saved so many people and Omnics that day. Of course he explained how he helped too, even giving tiny demonstrations to his kids, who sat in front of him in awe. They loved to listen to him at story time.

“Woah daddy! That’s so cool!”

“Were you scared?”

“A little, but with your mother by my side, I could do anything.”

Satya smiled at the sight. Niran was the perfect dad. He was attentive, loving, nurturing. He provided the twins with everything they could ever need in life. It was a beautiful thing for her to watch.

“Okay you two, bed time.” She clapped, drawing their attention.

“But Mummmm! Dad was telling us stories” Surya whined.

“Listen to your mother, daddy will tell you more exciting stories tomorrow! Promise!”

The twins squealed in delight and got ready for bed, hugging and kissing their parents goodnight. It was hard to believe just how many time had pasted. The twins were three already. It seemed like only yesterday that they were still babies.

They made a great team back then. Niran offered to take the night shifts whilst Satya got much needed and deserved rest. He was often the night owl of the pair so it was an easy choice to make. It was hard for the first few months, they hardly saw each other due to the ‘shifts’ they were on for the twins, but they got through it. It got easier as the grew and they learned to cope and handle anything that came their way. They were a team, always.

“You knowwwww.” Niran slowly wrapped his arms around his pretty wife from behind. “The kids are sound asleep, the night is young.. and well.. you’re just too beautiful to resist.” He breathed softly at her ear, rubbing circles on her hips with his thumbs.

Satya smiled, leaning back into his chest craving the warmth. Her husband was ever so smooth when he asked her for some affection. Subtle and sweet.

“Mhm, such a beautiful night too.”

“Isn’t it though. The perfect time for some alone time hmm? Do you want to watch a movie? I can make us some dinner, we can have a glass of wine. Anything you desire, and I mean anything.” He winked, voice low and husky.

Satya sighed, peaking Niran’s curiosity. She didn’t look sad by his standards, but something did seem to be on her mind. He slowly spun her around, hand cupping her cheek. She seemed to perk up but he asked her anyway.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“I think I want another baby. I miss being pregnant. Seeing you with our kids today just makes me want to have more.. Is that stupid?”

Niran had a gleam in his eyes, one that Satya knew all too well. His lips curved into a small smouldering smirk, hands trailing down her body to her gorgeous hips, pulling her closer. Her husband had this devilish charm about him, especially when he was setting the mood.

“Well Satya, I suppose they are fun to make, aren’t they?”

[ae-azile]

The Non-Newtonian Newborn: Chapter 8 Preview

Porsche has Kinn drive. Arm doesn't need to under these circumstances. Kinn seems to realize that, since he gets in the driver’s seat without thinking twice and doesn't seem to mind when Porsche sits in the back with Arm.

“Everything will be okay,” Porsche says as Arm stares straight ahead, “I promise. You will have support.”

“So much support,” Kinn adds, “The baby will be added to the company health insurance at no extra cost.”

“Both your baby and Achara will have the best pediatrician as soon as we finish screening them and add one to the roster,” Porsche says, “When the baby is old enough, they can be admitted to the BEST private school.”

“They would probably get in anyway, with how smart you are,” Kinn says, “But we will make sure they have the best educational opportunities provided for them. The best tutors too.”

“And if Korn has anything to say about you keeping a baby at the compound, we’ll stand up to him for you!” Porsche says, “We’re your family, got it?”

Kinn nods in agreement, “We are in this together-”

“You’re the one who got me in this mess to begin with!” Arm snaps.

Porsche jerks back at the accusation, mainly because Arm doesn't accuse Kinn of anything, much less raise his voice at him. But here he is, glaring and fuming over this. But honestly, Porsche can't blame him. It is sort of Kinn’s fault.

“You can't get mad at him for talking to you like that,” Porsche whispers as he leans forward, “He's stressed out, and you were the one who asked him to accompany us. Don't reprimand him-”

“I'm not going to reprimand him,” Kinn says quietly, “I know it's my fault. I'm sorry.”

Porsche nods, “We’re sorry, Arm-”

“It's too late for an apology!” Arm tells him, turning his glare onto Porsche, “I'm mad at you too!”

Porsche gasps, “I wasn't the one who asked you to come! Be mad at Kinn! Not me!”

“Porsche,” Kinn says in a warning tone.

“It's true!” Porsche says, then tries to put a comforting hand on Arm’s leg, only for Arm to slap it off.

“Hey!” Kinn warns

“Fuck off,” Arm mumbles under his breath, then holds his head in his hands. Porsche lets out a sad and guilt-ridden sigh, then reaches over and rubs Arm’s back.

“It's okay, Kinn,” Porsche says, “He's obviously stressed out. And remember what Niran said. He said some people show strong symptoms after breaking an egg. They get emotional, or overly sentimental, or have a lot of cravings and nausea. Despite this all working differently, the person who breaks the egg is essentially pregnant until the baby arrives one to five days later, depending on the moon cycle-”

“I am NOT fucking pregnant!” Arm says, pulling away again, “I always act like this!”

Porsche purses his lips, “...Okay.”

Kinn seems hesitant to combat that claim as well, but does it anyway, “...Arm, you tried to lunge at an old man.”

“He deserved it,” Arm mutters, then lets out a groan, “Pull over.”

“Why-”

“PULL OVER!”

Kinn immediately does what he's told and pulls onto a side street. Arm jumps out before it comes to a complete stop and Porsche is ready to go after him. Arm is clearly overwhelmed, but Porsche has never seen him like this. Who knows what he might do? But luckily, Arm doesn't seem to be making a run for it. He stops by a trash can on the corner, throws himself over it, and empties the contents of his stomach so violently that two pedestrians jump back and rush away.

“Fuck,” Kinn mutters as they watch him from the car, “I feel like such an asshole.”

“As you should,” Porsche says, “You forced our head guard into an unplanned pregnancy.”

“He's not exactly pregnant-”

“Look at him!” Porsche says, “He is one of the ones Niran was talking about, one who gets severe morning sickness and is miserable until the process is over!”

“It isn't even growing inside him,” Kinn says, “He may be throwing up due to anxiety.”

“Arm isn't an anxious vomiter,” Porsche counters, “If he was, he wouldn't have gotten the head guard position and become so openly adamant about staying on Tankhun’s team despite the promotion. He's a nerd and can be introverted, but he has balls of steel! And now he's pregnant!”

Kinn groans, “We’ve never had a pregnant guard. Pregnant girlfriends of guards, and pregnant maids and cooks, but not guards-”

“I'm not pregnant.”

Kinn quickly shuts up as Arm gets back in the car. Arm looks at both of them, appearing clammy, tired, and suspicious before letting out a sigh.

“Do you have gum?”

Porsche quickly digs into his pocket, “Here. You can just have the rest of the pack. In case you need to throw up again, you will have it.”

“I don't need to throw up again,” Arm says, sticking a piece of gum in his mouth before leaning his head against the window, “I need food.”

Porsche quickly bangs on the back of the seat, “Kinn, we’re going out to eat. Wherever Arm wants.”

“Hibachi,” Arm says, his eyes closed, “And sushi.”

“Expensive and sophisticated cravings!” Porsche says with an approving nod.

“They aren't cravings. It's just what I want.”

Again, Porsche isn't going to challenge Arm. Not right now.

—----------------------------------------------------------------

Arm doesn't know why Kinn and Porsche are trying to restrict what kind of fucking sushi he gets when he's NOT pregnant. He isn't even in denial. If Achara was truly born from a magical egg created by Niran, then Arm understands he may very well find a newborn who is biologically his child outside his door within the next couple of days. But it isn't like that baby is growing inside of him. Even Niran said they will grow in his workshop, or whatever the fuck it is.

“We are just asking that you get low-mercury fish that is cooked,” Kinn says softly, acting like a fucking know-it-all despite just looking up this information, “Or a roll with just vegetables. We’re not trying to control you-”

“Fine,” Arm says, tossing the menu at Kinn, “You pick for me. Despite saying I can eat ‘whatever’ I want, you go ahead and pick. Take away more of my autonomy. I’ll wait.”

Kinn stares at him for a moment, then looks at Porsche.

“How am I supposed to respond to that?”

“With patience, respect, and empathy,” Porsche says in a hushed voice, then gives Arm a bright smile, “We will buy you ALL the sushi when your baby arrives-”

“After he finishes breastfeeding,” Kinn whispers, “He needs to be careful about what he eats if he starts breastfeeding.”

Porsche's smile becomes more forced, “Once the baby is weaned.”

Arm really doesn't want to breastfeed. He feels strong emotions bubbling up inside of him, and his normal level of control seems non-existent. Before he knows it, he feels tears springing to his eyes so rapidly that he takes off his glasses and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“Fuck, Arm,” Kinn says, sounding truly upset for him, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened. You…If you need some time off…I know you have sisters. If you want to spend some time with them, we can arrange that. I would prefer it if you stayed. So we can make sure you and the baby are safe. But if you need some time away, I…I understand.”

“Or we can invite your sisters to stay in the compound, if they are open to that,” Porsche says, “But regardless of where you stay, you will not be put at risk. Not anymore. We’ll also give you so much time off-”

“You have no one to fill in for everything I do for you,” Arm says bitterly. When Arm puts his hands down to look at them for a reaction, it seems as though they realize what he is saying is true.

“We’ll…make due while you spend time with your baby,” Kinn says carefully, “Obviously, if you can consult - or help with the management side of things should you continue living in the compound - we will greatly appreciate it.”

“And we’ll give you a family suite!” Porsche says, nodding encouragingly, “One of the nicest ones we have. I'm sure Khun will love to throw a baby shower for you too! He might have even more fun with it than Kim’s and Chay’s!”

Khun shouldn't plan something like that. Not when this baby will be his too.

“And…” Kinn starts, looking slightly nervous, “Once the baby comes, we’ll run their DNA through the database. See if the other parent pops up, or at least one of their family members.”

“Of course we will,” Porsche says, then gives Arm another smile, “You know who it probably is? Pol. I bet it's Pol. You guys are really close!”

“I can see it!” Kinn says, looking hopeful for that particular outcome.

Pol is his closest friend. Raising a baby with him would not be awkward or terrible. In fact, they would probably co-parent harmoniously - albeit platonically. But Pol being his soulmate would be incredibly weird. He's like his brother.

“They would be so cute together!” Porsche gushes.

“I really think it's Pol,” Kinn says, nodding, “It just makes sense.”

It's not fucking Pol.

But he can't say that. Not without coming off as an asshole, nor can he say who it really is. Arm has no doubt in his mind who his soulmate is. He's been in a relationship with him for almost a year, and he's been in love with him for almost five. Even now that they are together, Arm still feels his heart skip a beat whenever Tankhun walks into the room.

But they aren't out. Not with how controlling Tankhun believes Korn will be, or how concerned and overly protective Kinn will be. It has stayed quiet, and their relationship coming out will likely alter Arm’s employment with the family.

He needs to talk to Tankhun. He needs to talk to his boyfriend.

“Khun just texted,” Kinn says, checking his phone, “He’s asking if everything went okay. What should I tell him?”

“Your call, Arm,” Porsche says.

Arm lets out a breath and does not give into the sudden need to rip Kinn’s phone out of his hands, lock himself in the bathroom, and cry to Tankhun over the phone.

“Tell him we are grabbing something to eat. Make sure to let him know we are saving room for the food being catered at the shower,” Arm says, “After everyone leaves and we get back to the compound, I will tell him about…this situation. I don't want him to get worried about me or stressed out during the party.”

With that, Arm takes his menu back and looks down at it, “Cooked, low-mercury fish or vegetarian sushi, right?”

“Just to be safe,” Porsche says.

“Fine,” Arm says, even though everything feels the opposite of fine right now. But logically, he knows he will feel better when he talks to Tankhun.

His soulmate.

[pbaz7]

Yayyyy part 2 and I’m guessing ur gonna do some cute fluffy sexual content aw

Ridiculous or thoughtful? Pick one," Paige said, leaning down to offer her hand like she was escorting royalty.

- she is a princess after all

Paige ignored her, gently helping Azzi step out of the car. “You are literally carrying the most precious cargo in the world. If I don’t protect you, what kind of wife would I be?”

- so protective awwww

And if I let you walk on your own, and you trip over one of those cracks in the concrete, whose fault would it be?”

- no one let Paige read a birthing complications book she will go insane and start tweaking

Paige’s grin softened, her blue eyes sparkling as she leaned in to kiss Azzi’s temple. “I know. And I’m never gonna stop being over-the-top about you.”

- AWWWW

How’s the baby daddy?

- no one say this to Paige she’s gonna get a complex

- Paige prolly believes she got her pregnant herself

Paige grinned. “One of each won’t hurt you.”

- is she feeding her wife or a toddler?

Her gaze had dropped to Paige’s hands, her eyes tracing the veins that ran along them. They stood out prominently against her skin, glistening slightly with sweat, and Azzi was mesmerized.

- she’s so real for this

“I married a narcan,” though her gaze lingered a little too long on Paige’s retreating figure.

- 😭😭😭

You’re doing so well.”

- Paige stop making your wife suffer!

Aaliyah, who had been signing things a few feet away, smirked as she walked over to Paige. “You good there, Mama Bear?” she teased under her breath, nudging Paige’s arm.

- I love liiiiii

Paige,” one reporter began, leaning forward in his chair, “there have been reports from trusted sources that your wife, Azzi Fudd, is out for the season due to pregnancy. Can you confirm or deny this?”

- ughhhh mind your business bro

Back then I personally stated multiple times that I would be going to the draft after my season ended, but that didn’t stop reporters from writing articles about me trying to force my way out of Dallas with claims of me threatening to stay an extra year.”

- Lmao glad to see these annoy you as much as they annoy me

So no, I, Paige Bueckers, cannot answer a question for Azzi Fudd right now.

- period p! although everyone gonna clock your tea I fear

her hand finding its place on Azzi’s stomach, her touch light.

- awww I love this

Paige blinked at her, and then a soft chuckle escaped her lips. “Hours, hm?” she repeated, tilting her head.

- damn girl!!

You’re perfect like this, beautiful. I love every version of you.”

- I love them they are so adorable

Paige grinned against her skin, her kisses moving lower again. “I can’t help that, beautiful,” she murmured.

- she’s getting too cocky

She kissed just above Azzi’s heart, letting her lips linger as she whispered, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I swear I’ll spend forever making sure you never doubt how much I love you baby.”

- OK SO ITS BREAK ME DAY? WTF IS THIS MONOLOGUE IM SICK.

“I don’t know if you can hear me yet, but just in case,” Paige said, her lips brushing against Azzi’s skin as she spoke, “you have the coolest mom ever. She’s strong, intelligent, and so kind. She’s a little bossy, but we let that slide because she’s also really pretty.”

- she is really pretty

Paige smirked but didn’t let up. “And while we’re at it, no dating until you’re 30 baby.”

- this is wild from you Paige

Paige hummed, brushing her lips against Azzi’s stomach before looking up at her. “Mmm, you’ll always come first.”

- always the wife over the baby!! protect your kids as a priority ofc

Statistics show children usually end up happier when their parents prioritize each other over anything because it creates a more stable environment for them.”

- yep yep yep

Paige glanced up with a small smirk. “I was reading on the plane. Wanted to make sure I got this parenting thing right.”

- hoping she didn’t see those birthing pages… she would have a heart attack

Righttt blame the other princess,” Paige said, shaking her head as she threw her legs over the side of the bed as she got up to put on some sweats and a hoodie.

- literally no resistance lol

No, I’m not.

- it’s been a while but welcome back to the Paige bueckers lying show!!!

Paige raised an eyebrow, trying to act nonchalant. “No, I’m not.”

- It’s a two episode special!

Paige sighed dramatically, shaking her head. “I’m not whipped.”

- three!

Her hand found its way to Azzi’s stomach, her thumb tracing slow circles as her eyes fluttered shut.

- awww

This was perfect! Pleaseee one moreeee I love pazzi with kids they are too cute

-🫂🫂🫂

no one let Paige read a birthing complications book she will go insane and start tweaking

looked at something like this and i was sick to my stomach for days 😭

no one say this to Paige she's gonna get a complex

prolly already has one

"I married a narcan," though her gaze lingered a little too long on Paige's retreating figure.

😭😭😭.

i fixed it 🙄

Lmao glad to see these annoy you as much as they annoy me

it’s literally something new everyday 😭

OK SO ITS BREAK ME DAY? WTF IS THIS MONOLOGUE IM SICK.

i thought it was cute 🥹

loll what else would you want to see stink ??

[moody-alcoholic]

These Violent Delights

Chapter 12 - Revelations

Summary: Poly 141 x fem!reader, a/b/o alternate universe 5.2k words. The truth is coming out grab your popcorn.

CW: a/b/o alternative universe, a/b/o dynamics, typical a/b/o universe tropes (scenting, heats, scuffing), Pregnancy, talks about termination of pregnancy, abortion discussion, use of weapons, blackmail, mentions of bombs, all my homies hate Graves, language, angst, lots of crying - all hurt no comfort, mentions of past abuse, mentions of past SA, lots of guilt, mentions of suicide.

Previous - masterlist - next

AO3

Enjoy <3

Tears are streaming down your face when John walks into the room. His eyes go wide and he strides over to you. You’re not even trying to hide your scent anymore. Your arms shake as you throw yourself around him, sobbing into his chest. 

“Hey, what is it?” he asks before looking back at Dr. Piper. She waits for a moment, seeing if you will calm down and tell him. 

“There’s no easy way to do this,” she starts, turning around and picking the test up. “She’s pregnant.” You hold your breath as you wait for John to take the news in. 

“She’s on birth control,” John says, shaking his head. You let out a sob. He breaks away from you and it makes your heart ache. 

“Yes she is,” Dr. Piper sighs. 

“Dr. Miller,” you breathe. 

“What?” Dr. Piper asks.

“He was giving me injections. Before my heat, for the hormone blocker,” you say between sobs. John looks at Dr. Piper.

“Why would he need to give you injections for Simon’s hormone blocker?” she says. You can hear anger rising in her voice. Dr. Piper doesn’t get angry, you’ve barely heard her raise her voice. You feel guilt hit you as you sniffle. John moves in front of you pulling your chin up to look at him. 

“Look at me,” he says, his voice low and commanding. You swallow the sob catching in your throat, looking in his eyes.

“You need to tell Dr. Montgomery everything Dr. Miller did to you.” You nod looking back down at your knees. You can hear the disappointment in his voice. His hands leave you again, and you feel like you’re drifting further away from him.

“What about the pregnancy?” John asks in a lower voice. Dr. Piper sighs. 

“We don’t even know if a pregnancy could even be viable. Her entire reproductive system has been changed due to the chemical, just like how you guys can all knot.” 

“So what do we do?” 

“I will order the medication for a medical termination. The fetus is only two weeks along. It can be terminated with medication.” You feel sick, your hand pressing on your abdomen. You don’t want a baby, not now. You’ve completed your job though, you’ve been a good omega. It’s your only goal, to birth more alphas and omegas.  

John lets out a long sigh as he moves away from you. Maybe he thinks you’re disgusting now. Maybe he doesn’t want to be with you again. You deserve this. Dr. Piper is right.  Why did you need injections for Simon’s hormone blocker? John turns back to look at you, his fists clenched, and dread comes over you. Maybe he’s going to hit you. You deserve that much. He turns to look at you, his hand coming up. 

You close your eyes preparing for the strike. 

His hand lands on your cheek, his thumb rubbing it. You open your eyes letting out the breath you’ve been holding. You look up in John’s eyes. He looks sad. He’s not going to hurt you; he’s never hurt you before. You swallow the lump in your throat. He lets his hand drop and heads for the door. 

“What are you going to do John?” Dr. Piper asks. 

“We’re going to find Dr. Miller,” he says, turning back quickly and then leaving the room.

John’s heart is thumping hard in his chest as he makes his way down the stairs. You’re pregnant. Clearly this is no accident. Dr. Montgomery seemingly already has her suspicions. Dr. Miller has been up to more than just forcing your heat.

“Everything alright sir? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Soap chuckles nudging Ghost. John walks over to them without saying a word. He stands for a few seconds then rests his hands on his hips. 

“Is this place clear?” he asks eventually. Everyone looks a little confused looking around each other.

“What do you mean?” Soap asks. 

“Bugs, is the place clear of bugs,” he says, trying to keep his voice steady. He can smell his own anger in the air. 

“Yeah it’s clear,” Gaz says, taking a step towards him. He can smell Gaz trying to calm him. John starts to pace, wondering how he can explain it, if he should tell them about the pregnancy. 

“What’s wrong John?” Laswell asks, standing up from the desk. 

“We need to know what Dr. Miller has done to her,” he says. He looks around at them all. He’s not going to tell them about the pregnancy, not yet. 

“Ghost, Soap, go back to his room, strip the place. I’ll stay with Laswell and Dr. Montgomery to find out whatever we can. Gaz, when the doctor’s done you’re to stick with the omega. From now on one of us will be with her at all times. Understood?” he says. The chorus of ‘yes sirs’ comes back to him as he looks round the room. Soap and Ghost leave. Hopefully they can find something. 

“What are we going to tell Shepherd?” Gaz asks, coming to stand next to him. 

“Let me worry about that. You focus on your job, which is making sure the omega never leaves your sight. Keep her in the barracks, I'll get someone to pick up dinner for you both,” Price says.

“Is she alright?” Gaz asks. John folds his arms looking over at him. He wants to tell him, the thought of it swimming around in his head. If not just to have someone else know. But the less people who know, the better.  

“When we know what he’s done to her we’ll have a better idea. She’s okay,” he says. Gaz nods and follows him over to Laswell. It’s not long before you’re coming down the steps with Dr. Montgomery behind you. Your face is still puffy but you’re not crying anymore. You walk straight over to him with the doctor's hands on your shoulders. You won’t meet his eyeline. You won’t even look at him. He can sense your guilt, let alone smell it.

Dr. Montgomery won’t protect your scent, it's not her job anymore. Gaz walks round and your head pops up to see him. Price can smell his nervousness. Gaz isn’t stupid, he knows somethings wrong but he doesn’t push anything, throwing his arm over your shoulders and turning to walk you to the exit.

“I can watch her,” Dr. Montgomery says. Price shakes his head.

“Need you to help us with Dr. Miller,” he says, gesturing for her to come over and sit with Laswell. Price watches you leave with Gaz. He can’t tell if he feels disappointed or mad. He’s not mad at you, he’s mad at himself. At Dr. Montgomery. They were all supposed to keep you safe and they failed. 

Now he has to deal with the consequences. John stands behind them as Laswell types on her laptop. She has access to the CIA’s database which should help make things easier. It doesn’t take her long to find out Conor Miller was a fake name. It came back to a man who was found dead, a suspected suicide. So they have the identity he took, but they still don’t have his name. 

It’s not long before Soap comes back with a laptop, he puts it down in front of Laswell.

“Found it hidden behind a wall panel,” he says. “LT’s still scrubbing the place.” 

Price nods as he looks over at Laswell opening the laptop. 

“How long do you think it’ll take to get in?” Soap asks. 

“Few hours to bruteforce it probably,” she sighs. Ghost walks through the door next slamming a notebook on the table. Dr. Montgomery picks it up, opening it to the first page, a piece of paper falls out. She picks it up and unfolds it. She reads it. Price moves over so he can get a better look.

“ Fuck, ” she says under her breath as she finishes reading. 

“What is it?” Soap asks. 

“I know who he is. Dr. Miles Ashford. Hale's personal bitch.” Dr. Montgomary stands up pushing her chair back. Laswell types the new name into her program.

“How did you not recognize him?” Ghost asks. 

“He’s the perfect plant. I think over all the years I worked for Hale, I’ve only ever seen him once, maybe twice.” She runs her hand through her hair. “He would be Hale’s man on the surface taking care of his estate so Hale could stay in the bunker for months at a time.” 

“So he and Hale were close?” Soap asks.

“I guess so. Hale didn’t trust anyone but he kept Ashford around, even when it turned out he was an alpha. I’m pretty sure he’s the only alpha he kept alive.” She explains. John is about to open his mouth to speak when the door to the lab crashes open.

“What the hell is going on!?” Shepherd shouts as she strides across the room over to them. 

Shit.

“Price, I let you do your own thing and now I'm learning you’re tearing the base apart?” he asks, stopping in front of Price.

“We have a situation, and we’re investigating,” Price says, standing his ground.

“And when were you planning on telling me what’s going on?” 

“When we had more concrete information,” Price responds. Laswell stands up from her chair to come to stand next to him. 

“What’s happening then?” he asks.

“The omega was attacked. It turns out Professor Hale planted a scientist,” John explains.

“Attacked how?” Shepherd asks. 

“She was injected with a drug that forced her heat,” Dr. Montgomery explains. Shepherd crosses his arms as he takes in the information. 

“Is she okay?” he asks.

“She’s okay, she-” 

“She’s pregnant,” John interrupts her. There’s silence in the room. John keeps his focus on Shepherd. He clears his throat. 

“It was my understanding she was on birth control.” 

“She is. I suspect this has been going on for a while and someone has given her contraceptive suppressants,” Dr. Montgomery says. It makes the hairs on the back of Price’s neck stand up. This has been going on for a while. You never said anything, and they never caught it. Now look at the mess they’re in. 

“We have a name. Dr. Miles Ashford. He’s Hale’s personal assistant. He stole an identity, that’s how he managed to stay under the radar. According to Dr. Montgomery, he would mostly work above ground outside of the lab. Hence the reason no one recognized him,” Laswell explains. “I have put it all in the report.” 

“Well, I assume plans have already been made to deal with this?” he asks. Dr. Montgomery nods. “How could this happen? I thought you ran a pretty tight ship in this lab. Now you’re saying Professor Hale managed to plant someone in here?” 

“You were the one who set out the rules, I followed. It’s not exactly the type of work someone wants in their resume, the whole thing is based on trust,” Dr. Montgomery says. John can hear the spite in her voice. 

“Where is he now?” Shepherd asks.

“We assume back with Hale,” John says. “He went MIA a few days ago.”

“You’ve put all this in the report?” he asks, looking at Laswell.

“Of course. We’re still working on gathering all the information,” she says.

“I’ll get Graves to send out a search party, maybe they can find something,” Shepherd says. John nods. “When will the report be done?” 

“By the end of the day I’ll send what we have,” Laswell says. Shepherd puts his arms back down at his side, and he looks round the room. 

“I’ll set up a meeting for tomorrow morning.” He nods at John then turns, heading to leave. As soon as the door is shut behind him John turns around, everyone’s eyes on him. 

“She’s pregnant?” Soap asks first. John nods.

“What’s going to happen?” Ghost asks next, his arms crossed. 

“Termination. We don’t know if the pregnancy is even really viable,” Dr. Montgomery says.

“What does she think?” Soap asks. There’s silence again.  

“She’s scared, confused. She feels guilty,” Dr. Montgomery says. There’s an edge of something in her voice. She sounds almost annoyed. John can see Ghost’s eyes burning into her, he has that look in his eyes. The one he gets when he doesn’t trust someone. Price will have to talk to him later. 

“We’re all to blame here. We all let her down. Now it’s our job to fix it. Then we go after Hale,” John says. Ghost’s eyes move back to John. John nods at him.

It’s going to be okay. Keep your head straight. 

Ghost sighs, blinking then turning to Laswell.

Fine.

John looks back at Dr. Montgomery. 

“Let’s get back to work,” he says, crossing his arms and watching everyone move. Soap and Ghost leave again slamming the door behind them. John pinches the bridge of his nose. It’s going to be a long day. 

Johnny switched with Kyle a few hours later. Kate had tried to show them how Kyle connected the cameras and microphones up so they could decode them but it was like trying to teach an old dog new tricks. After a while she got frustrated and John sent for Kyle. 

“How is she?” Piper asks.

“Sleeping,” Kyle says, going over to help John. That’s good, you need to rest after your heat. As long as you’re resting, you’re calm. 

Kyle seems to have a knack for computers, and he knows his way around them. He managed to pull some audio files from the microphones he started decoding yesterday. Nothing of use though, just generic conversations. It could take days to decode the rest and go through them. 

Kate managed to get into Ashford’s laptop quicker than she thought. Piper had been sat down going through everything, mainly just research on things she had asked him to work on. She was working her way through the documents from the oldest first. She straightens up in the chair as she reads through a document dated before your heat. 

“ Shit, ” she says reading the document. It confirms what she already suspected: contraceptive suppressants. She knew deep down this was always Hale’s plan. To have a ‘pure’ omega. He wanted to get you pregnant so you could give birth to what Hale considered a ‘purebred’ omega. Guess he didn’t care if it was him who got you pregnant or not. 

The only reason you’re on birth control in the first place was because he would invite his friends to fuck you while you were in heat. Piper slams the lid of the laptop down, getting up and going into her office, slamming the door behind her. 

She’s angry but she shouldn’t be. This is her fault. She should have known, she should have been paying closer attention. There’s a knock on the door. 

She swallows the tears, wiping her eyes. She doesn’t deserve to cry. The only one who’s suffered here is you. It’s always you who suffers. She clears her throat and opens the door.  

“Found something?” John asks. She nods, standing to the side so he can walk in. She closes the door behind her. 

“He was giving her contraceptive suppressants,” she sighs, managing to keep her voice steady. 

“Any long term effects?” he asks. 

“No, it should be passed through her system already,” she says.

“Anything else?” he asks. She shakes her head; she hasn’t found anything yet. He sighs, nodding.

“I’m sorry I let this happen,” she says. Now is the time to apologize. 

“It’s not just your fault. She’s our responsibility too.” 

“I should have known not to trust any alpha that was still alive. It’s so obvious. Hale made a habit of killing alphas,” she sighs. 

“Yeah well hindsight is 20/20. You can’t blame yourself,” he says. She looks up at him. “You’re helping now, you’re fixing your mistakes, and that's what matters.” 

“You can be angry,” she says.

“You’re not solely to blame. You can’t take it all on your shoulders. We’re going to get through this. We need to work together,” he says, taking a step towards her. 

“She’s never going to be safe John, not until Hale is dead.” 

“I know. We’re going to get him. I promise,” he says. She smiles; she believes him. 

“Chin up. She’s going to need your support. She’s going to need you more than ever over the next few days.” 

“You’re her pack, she will always need you more than me.” 

“Which is why it’s important we work together.” He pats her shoulder and she smiles at him. 

“Keep looking. Let me know if you find anything else,” he says, leaving the room. She lets out a breath as she’s left alone. She knows he’s right, but it’s not going to change her mind though. She’s always going to blame herself.

Piper is alone in her lab for the first time in what feels like forever. She sits down at her desk. Her computer is gone. John had Kyle search it. She had nothing to hide, so it didn't take him long to clear all the computers in the lab. It was only Dr. Ashford’s hidden laptop that had anything. 

John told her she should come and eat with them. She’s not hungry though. They said they were done for the day but she can’t relax yet. She just needs a few minutes alone. She should have never trusted anyone. She should have known something was up. Dr. Ashford really was the perfect person for Hale to slip in. She should have known something was wrong when an alpha came forward. 

She remembers the culling, remembers you being forced to watch. The smell of blood in the air, your fear, the nightmares. It went on for weeks, months. Hale killed them all, apart from Ashford. He needed someone on the ground. According to Kate the person who’s identity he took had a family, wife, and kids. His death was ruled a suicide, but they all knew better now. 

She sighs, letting the guilt eat at her. She put your life at risk and she didn’t even know it. They don’t even know what he had been up to other than the contraceptive blocker. She gave you a full check and couldn’t find anything. She is just hoping it's nothing too serious, and now with you being watched 24/7 and Dr. Ashford presumably with Hale, you should be safe. 

She shakes her head leaning back in her chair looking up at the ceiling. You’re never going to be safe until Hale is dead.

She’s not sure what is going to happen next. She hasn’t been privy to John’s plan. All she knows is they’re stuck here for now. General Shepherd seemed to understand the gravity of the situation but he blamed John. It’s her fault too. She has to take some of the blame. Commander Graves has been busy, so he hasn’t been around which is good because you’re scared of him. The calmer they keep you, the better. 

The sound of the door opening makes her jump. She looks out her open office door, and she can smell alpha in the air. She looks at the time. It’s late and she smiles. It must be Simon. She could use a chat with him right now, even if he does seem mad at her. She doesn’t care if he just wants to remind her how much of a horrible person she is. She could use his company. 

Suddenly, she sits up straight in her chair, the hairs standing up on the back of her neck. Simon wouldn’t have let the door slam, and she wouldn’t be able to smell Simon. He hides his scent so well. She stands up as the figure walks into her doorway.

“Don’t move,” Ashford says, aiming a pistol at her. She holds her hands up, lowering back down into her chair. His alpha is strong in the air. Fear too. He’s not used to this. 

“I could scream. People would come running,” she says letting the adrenaline fill her with confidence.

“Then both you and the omega would be dead,” he says walking into her office, closing the door behind him. She swallows the lump away. She can’t let him know she’s scared. She has to use everything to her advantage.  

“What are you doing here? I thought you would have been back with Hale by now,” she says. His hand is shaking slightly. He’s not comfortable with a weapon in his hands, he doesn’t look comfortable doing this at all. Maybe she can use that to her advantage. 

“I can’t leave without the omega,” he says. 

“Right, well I’ll just go get her then,” Piper says, throwing her hands up and standing up.

“Sit down,” he says, his voice louder this time, more commanding. His alpha is stronger, the ground after rain and blood, just like the Professor. Iron thick in the air, her nostrils flare as she breathes it in. She always associated it with blood. It makes the hairs stand up on the back of her neck and she sits back down. 

“You’re going to bring her,” he says as a matter of fact. Piper scoffs, shaking her head. 

“Why do you think I would do that?” she asks, crossing her arms. 

“I assume you figured out about the suppressants, the drugging?” he asks. She nods, where was this going?

“Well, there’s a tracker in her neck,” he says, watching her face for a reaction. She keeps her expression neutral. She doesn’t want to give him anything. She feels sick. Of course Hale would find a way to get a tracker in you. Yet another way she let you down. She swallows the guilt away. She can’t let him know what she thinks. 

“You have 24 hours to get her. There’s a truck, parked in the lot. It’s the only one with a yellow stripe on the back left tire. The door will open with the keys under the driver's seat. Drive out the west exit, and tell the guard you have a special transport for Ashford, they’ll let you through. Drive 2 miles west until you hit a bent stop sign. Stop at the sign and get into the passenger seat. I’ll meet you there,” he says. She looks at him confused, she shakes her head.

“You’re crazy, seriously fucked up if you think I’m helping you,” she spits, leaning forward in her chair. 

“Look, I didn’t expect you to help. In addition to the tracker there’s a bomb in her hip,” he says, shrugging. Piper’s holding her breath. She can’t help it, nerves slip through. He's lying, he has to be.

“If you tell anyone or fail to follow the instructions, then I'll set it off.” 

“You’d kill her, and what would that achieve? Throw away all of Hale’s work for nothing.” 

“I know I won’t ever have to do it. I know you’re going to follow the instructions and bring her,” he says smiling. It makes her feel sick. He has to be lying, for your sake he has to be. 

“What makes you think I’m going to help you?” she says, sighing and shaking her head.

“Because you love her, and I don’t think you want to see her harmed,”  he says, the smile still on his face. He’s not wrong, but bringing you back to Hale, it would be a death sentence. He might as well kill you. 

“How about you take the rest of the night to think about it. You have until this time tomorrow.” 

“What if I just tell Captain Price, or General Shepherd about this?” 

“You found all the cameras in the lab right?” he asks.

“Maybe.” 

“There are others, ones you’ll probably never find. Besides, she has the tracker in her, we’ll know where she is at all times. Oh and the people paying Shadow Company? Professor Hale is footing half the bill. It’s probably best if you follow the instructions,” he sighs. She can tell he wants to get out of here. 

Hale is paying Shadow Company. That's how he managed to get back in the base. He’s starting to get fidgety. Maybe she can stall him, keep him here until someone comes looking for her.

“Why are you telling me all this? Why not just kill me? Get the omega yourself?” She asks. 

“And go up against her pack? They’ll tear me to shreds. They trust you, and she trusts you. She’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. Of course you can ignore the instructions and she’ll die. You can tell them and she’ll die. It’s your choice,” he says, shrugging. Not much of a choice. 

“What about me?” she asks. 

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I'm sure Professor Hale is looking forward to seeing you again though. He asked for you alive,” he says backing up to the door. He wants to leave. She can’t let him.

“How did you even get back in here? There are soldiers everywhere.” Fuck. He already explained this. She’s panicking trying to stall him.

“Have you not been listening?” he laughs. “They work for Hale! I’m on a first name basis with half the staff here.” 

“Why not just get Shadow Company to take her then?” she asks. He sighs like he’s getting bored of her questions.

“I’d rather skip the bloodshed. Graves too, he cares about his company's image.” 

“You really are a horrible person,” she says as he opens the door without taking his weapon off her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember, yellow mark on the wheel, bent stop sign.” He smiles walking out the door. She sits there for a second, not quite believing what just happened. 

Move! 

She springs up out of the seat. She should chase him. He only has a pistol. She’s sprinting out the door turning to the exit of the lab. It’s dark and starting to rain as she frantically looks around. It’s like he’s vanished into thin air. 

She’s failed again. 

She wants to scream. Instead she balls her hands into fists letting her nails dig into her hand. She looks around for any kind of movement, but there are so many buildings, he could have easily slipped into any of them. She should tell John. He’d start a search and probably find him before he had a chance to leave. 

She can’t though. She remembers the bomb inside you. She wishes it was fake and he was bluffing. She remembers Hale working on that technology; he had managed to get it to the size of a pill you could swallow. There were a lot of gruesome deaths from that. 

She should have fought him. He only had a pistol. She should have risked it.  

If she died, he wouldn’t be able to get to the omega. Your pack would keep you safe.

Stupid. Pathetic. She’s let you down again.

She walks back into the lab. There’s a tracker in your neck. A bomb in your hip. Piper goes into her office, closing the door behind her and sinking to the ground. Her body is shaking now as the adrenaline wears off. 

She can’t let you die. She doesn’t have a choice. She sobs into her hands. 

She just hopes you’ll forgive her.

It’s early in the morning when Dr. Piper wakes you by shaking your shoulder. You blink awake. It’s only just turning light out. 

“Morning,” she says. She looks distracted by something. She’s never woken you like this before. You smile at her sitting up. She goes to pick up your slippers. 

“Come on, I need to check something,” she says. You nod, pulling your slippers on as you follow her out the room. She seems nervous, like she’s in a rush. It must be something important. The sun is just coming up, the fog settling across the fields and the tops of the trees. You like that. You breathe in the fresh scent of pine before you get into the lab. 

The place seems like it’s even more of a mess than you remember. You follow her straight upstairs. The only room that seems to be in order is the medical room. There’s a new machine in here now. 

“Hop up on the bed,” she says, sitting down on a stool and going over to the machine. You nod, getting up on the bed and laying back. You watch as Dr. Piper moves closer to you. She seems fidgety, and it's making you nervous. 

“What’s that for?” you ask as she pulls your shirt up to your chest. 

“Ultrasound. It lets me see inside you,” she says, keeping her answer short. 

“So you can see the—” You don’t know what to say, fetus? Baby sounds wrong. According to Dr. Piper it’s no bigger than a seed. Pregnancies move quicker than normal for omegas. If you were to keep it, you would only be waiting around 4 months.  

“It’s only a week or so along, so there won’t be much to see,” she says. You nod, watching her fiddle with the machine. She squirts something on your skin. It's cold and it makes you gasp. 

“Sorry,” she says before reaching over and bringing some kind of weird looking scanner to your abdomen. You expect it to hurt but it doesn't. Dr. Piper looks focused on the screen you can’t see, frowning as she presses buttons now and then. She stays silent moving the device round your lower body. 

“Can you see it?” you ask after a few seconds of silence. She looks back at you for a second, she nods. 

“Can I see it?” you ask. She shakes her head.

“There’s not much to see, I’m checking everything is in order before the termination.” You sigh, nodding. You don’t want a baby right now, and you know John definitely doesn’t. It’s no one's fault, only Dr. Miller—well Dr. Anderson—and he’s gone now. You still didn’t understand who he was. You’d never met him. You didn’t even know Professor Hale had an assistant. She moves the device around to your hips looking up your sides before finishing up on your stomach. 

She sighs, putting the scanner back in its slot and looking over at you smiling. You smile back sitting up as she wipes the gel off your stomach. 

“Does everything look good?” you ask, pulling your shirt back down. She doesn’t say anything, just pushes the ultrasound machine away before standing up off the chair. 

“Do you trust me?” she asks suddenly. You look at her confused as you get off the bed. 

“Of course I trust you,” you say. You can smell her scent calming you in the air. It makes you relax but you can tell there is something going on. Hairs stand up on the back of your neck as she takes a step closer to you.

“What’s going on?” you ask. “Is there something wrong?” Your hands press on your stomach. She shakes her head, one of her hands landing on your shoulder. 

“You’re going to have to be brave okay?” 

You nod. You’re not sure why suddenly fear rises in you. She pulls you into her arms. You can smell her. She smells good, safe. Of course you trust her. You close your eyes, hugging her back.

It happens quickly her cold hand moves up to the back of your neck, before you can react she digs her nails into the sensitive skin. You yelp as pain shoots down your spine. Your hands fly up instinctively to pull her hand away but she squeezes tighter. You feel like you can’t breathe. You won’t have long left, a few seconds maybe. 

“Why?” leaves your lips your own voice sounding foreign in your ears. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says. You see tears running down her face. Your vision goes fuzzy, and your body goes limp. You try to hold on but you can't. The last thing you remember is Dr. Piper lowering you to the floor.

Next

Dividers by Plum98 & gild-ui

Beta reader and editor - rememberwren

[constantineshots]

i wrote this at like five in the morning so i do want to add a few things. not because anything here is necessarily wrong, but because i just fucking hate thomas constantine. like with a burning passion. and this gets personal, but! warning for abuse, alcoholism, and animal killings ( in relation to magic ).

every time- or, well, nearly every time- we see this man he just gets so much worse than we thought he was. i mean, hell, he becomes an alcoholic after some sort of accident, and then, without much explanation, when mary gets pregnant, he forces her to have an abortion which not only kills john’s twin ( apparently? or john strangles the twin with the umbilical cord. i forget which, but i think it’s the umbilical cord ) but kills her, too, because it weakens her womb and when she gives birth, she dies then, and then he pits all this blame and rage on john himself. a kid who didn’t do anything wrong when it came to the death of mary.

then he was what, arrested for stealing underwear, if i recall correctly, and john leaves home at seventeen because. well. there’s a variety of reasons there- he could, thomas was abusive and he didn’t want to deal with it anymore. then later on, thomas is murdered by the family man. good. deserved!

and john wasn’t really an easy kid, i won’t say that, but you don’t get to blame him for things he didn’t do. sure, he was the weird kid who killed bugs and may have, unknown to many in the series, killed that one man. he is also the kid who hid his childlike innocence in a box to get rid of it so he was no longer vulnerable, which he did as a child in his earlier days of magic. he also killed a cat ( i believe it was a cat ) that had been magically connected to his father and hid the cat under his mother’s tombstone, in order to make sure that not only his father would never find it, but that his father would remain sick until he went back and got it, because the cat wouldn’t decompose due to the spell or something.

then he ran away. he was considered a “hippie” for a little while, even while he was home, until he eventually saw the sex pistols and formed his own band. i like to think he liked the freedom and self expression of punk rock that he couldn’t have earlier on in his life, but i couldn’t say for certain- i just know that he liked it and oftentimes, people say he was in the band so he could get laid. i can’t say his life got any better from leaving home, but that’s a story for another time- especially in regards to the hellblazer special ( in which there is sexual abuse, so be warned on that ).

when i got around to this character, i was thirteen. i won’t compare my life to john’s and say we’re quite the same ( for obvious reasons ), but i think that there’s a lot of metaphor for abused children written within him. i started reading hellblazer on the school-assigned ipads that were handed out because my parents didn’t want me to have technology in the home . . . even though my six year old little brother had it. and it- hellblazer- resonated with me.

“you were thirteen! you shouldn’t have been reading that!” yeah well, whatever, i was. because i watched the nbc constantine show, looked up the inspo at school, and bam: hellblazer.

regardless, my mom left. i didn’t even recognize my birth mother as my mother when i was seven years old. there’s this bright memory of me asking who she is. my father met someone else, my stepmom, who’s an alcoholic and won’t admit it. they get married within the year. and for whatever reason, she hated us, then acted like it was our fault. i have two younger siblings entirely by blood, and then my youngest half brother, and an older step brother. she was terrible. not to get too deep into it, but there does come a point in time when you’re not being treated right before you realize that the only way you’ll get through it all is if you get mature and fast. you fight, and it doesn’t work because you’re just a kid; what do you know? so you hide away all that vulnerability and when teachers come past like “oh, you’re mature for your age!” it takes everything in you not to give that burning retort of why you’re that way and instead just smile and say “thank you”.

now, i’m fumbling and wondering if i’m too old to be enjoying things that i do currently like, now that i’m twenty-one, even though none of these things have an age limit on them. or if i’m being weird by being so heavily attached to a character like this one.

so thomas constantine is, in my mind, just this glaring symbol of abuse that boils my blood on many accounts. as someone who had to essentially raise my siblings, comfort them- cheryl should never have been in that position. as someone who’s been abused and had false rage pointed at me, john shouldn’t have been in that position.

if you’re planning to have kids, you love them unconditionally, no matter the circumstances. you make sure you know your children are loved. or you end up with kids like me, who don’t like affection, who mature too quickly, who are struggling to piece together their childhood, and who struggle to form long-lasting attachments because they’re too busy wondering when that’s going to fall apart, too, and might unintentionally fuck it all up on their own.

anyways, that’s my little rant on why i hate the man so much.

reading hellblazer and thought you might appreciate the extremely fucked up epitaph on john's mother's tombstone (hellblazer issue 31) like goodness what a way to fuck up your child??? what in all weird british passive aggressive bullshit is this?

i don’t know enough about epitaphs to know if it’s passive aggressive or not, but with the way his father called john “killer” to his face and said a bunch of other horrible stuff to him in regards to his mother’s death in order for john to blame himself, this is probably a reminder every time john goes to visit- which. isn’t often, if i remember right, if at all.

though we do come to find out that his dad goes to hell for a variety of reasons, but the one i’m focusing on at this current moment is the fact that he had tried to force mary to abort both john and his twin ( who, in an alternate universe where he lived instead, is also named john, and is known as “the golden boy” ) and that’s what killed her. his father- who i hate actually calling that because he doesn’t have the right, fuck thomas- essentially just shifted the blame on john and gave john a horrible life because of it.

[abrianadesaphi]

I’m ... Pregnant? | Isabela Madrigal x Fem!Reader

Prompt: You and Isabela had been married for two and a half years now. For the past three months, you've been feeling sick – having nausea, and even vomiting often. This concerns the rest of the Madrigals, especially Pepa who had always loved you as her own niece ever since you and Isabela got together. With this concern, Pepa requested a vision from Bruno. Later on that day, the Madrigals all have dinner together.

or 

You find out that you’re pregnant during dinner with the family.

Warning: SMUT 

"Are you still feeling sick, Y/N?" Abuela asked you with genuine concern in her eyes after noticing your distressed nature.

You turned to look at the old woman with a sigh, "Unfortunately, I still am."

Isabela looked at you with sympathy, she truly felt sorry for how you were feeling and wished that she could do anything to make you feel better. Honestly, she was even more stressed about the situation than yourself. A conversation about going back to your hometown to see a professional doctor occurred between the two of you yesterday, but you merely shrugged it off, not wanting to make it an even bigger deal than it already was. 

"I've been feeding her arepas, but they only work for about two or three hours before she's feeling nauseous again," Julietta sighed, feeling down that she couldn't heal her daughter-in-law completely.

Pepa and Bruno exchanged knowing looks, sitting across from each other. The older of them sent Bruno a look which said, "Are you telling them or am I?"

"You do it!" Bruno sent a look to her sister's way.

"No, you!" 

Abuela noticed her two children exchanging intense glances at each other, looking like stupid birds trying to communicate with their eyes bulging out of their sockets. She cleared her throat rather loudly, causing everyone at the dinner table to look in her direction.

"Yes, Mamá?" Pepa and Bruno asked in unison.

"Would you care to share whatever it is you both are talking about with the rest of the family? Or would you rather keep conversing with your eyes like idiots?" Abuela said sternly, though with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Well, erm," Bruno started, "We may or may not know why Y/N is feeling sick all the time."

"And you're telling us just now?" Isabela said with growing frustration evident in her voice.

"Isa," You spoke, calming your wife down, "let them finish."

"Okay, so-"

"Y/Nispregnantandit'sIsabela's." Dolores spoke very quickly, interrupting her Tío Bruno.

Bruno laughed awkwardly, "Ha ha, uh, yeah, that."

"Dolores, what did I say about keeping the things we hear to ourselves unless we are asked about it?" Pepa whispered to her daughter as tension grew on the dinner table.

Everyone at the dinner table except for Pepa, Bruno, and Dolores had their jaws drop to the floor in surprise. Felix, being his usual self, spit out the wine he was in the process of drinking due to his shock, causing Pepa to hit him lightly on the back of his head.

"I'm…" You started, in disbelief, "I'm pregnant?" 

"Yes," Bruno confirmed, "Your Tía Pepa asked me for a vision about your constant nausea and I didn't want to at first but you know how she gets and a storm started to form when I said no and of course I had to-"

"Brunito," Abuela put an end to her son's rambling, "Tell us what you say in your vision."

"I saw, well, I saw you and Isabela holding two adorable little boys-"

"But Tío Bruno, I don't exactly have the, uhm, tools to get Y/N pregnant," Isabela reasoned, her hand holding yours underneath the table.

"Yes, Tío Bruno, it's impossible," You said.

"Impossible?" Pepa spoke, "You act as if you haven't seen magic in its most wondrous form!"

"Your Tía Pepa is right, Isabela," Abuela said, "Casita has helped you in creating life in your wife's belly. Oh! This calls for a celebration! My first great-grandchildren are on their way!"

"I'm going to be an Abuelo!" Agustin exclaimed in excitement, taking a smiling Julietta up with him, "We're going to be grandparents, mi amor!"

All of a sudden, Isabela remembered how and when it happened.

Three months ago, you and Isabela were laughing as you entered the plant-filled room both of you shared after a long day of festivity in Encanto. You and Isabela threw yourself on the bed, loving how soft the mattress felt beneath your skin.

Isabela hovered on top of you, making her way between your legs. Looking in your eyes, she whispered, "You are so beautiful, mi amor."

You laughed as you wrapped your arms around her neck, "I'm nothing compared to you, Isa."

"Bullshit!" Isabela exclaimed, "I hope you could see how beautiful you truly are."

"Such a sweet talker, you are."

She sweetly smiled at you before kissing the pair of lips that have been tempting her all day.

You moaned in surprise, but quickly melted into the kiss as your fingers found themselves tangled in her perfect hair.

"I want you, mi vida," she said with her hands tugging on your skirt, begging for your consent to rip them off of your body.

"Then take me, I am all yours," you breathed out, looking in her dark eyes.

"All mine?"

"And no one else's, mi amor."

She wasted no time connecting your lips together once again, swiftly removing your clothes and mindlessly throwing them somewhere in her spacious room. Once you were completely naked and vulnerable right underneath her, she took the time to kiss your exposed skin, leaving marks all on your neck and chest.

After she was satisfied with the love and attention she's given your skin, she took off her own clothing. Revealing her own beautiful body. She looked at you for a moment before attacking your lips once again.

Your legs found their way around her slim waist, where they rightfully belonged. You felt her fingers brushing against your core, teasing your sensitive clit. She ran a finger through the opening of your womanhood, eliciting a moan out of your parted lips.

"Is this okay?" She asked you, in the way she always did right before making love.

"Yes, mi amor, take me," You said in a tone both pleading and demanding.

She slid two fingers inside of you, causing you to moan loudly as she skillfully thrusted in and out. She watched as you completely broke apart right in front of her. Your hair was everywhere as your nails relentlessly left marks on her back. 

She felt her heart burning, and so did you. You, for an unknown reason, were in so much pleasure, you felt more than you usually did. Your body was sensitive to everything that was happening at the moment. The way Isabela's long fingers were plunging in and out of you in the most delicious ways possible were stimulating you much more than it usually did, which says a lot. 

Uncontrollable moans left your pretty lips, which was music to Isabela's ears. She just hoped that Dolores was somewhere far away in the village with Mariano, so that your moans wouldn't deafen her poor cousin. And also because your moans are meant to be heard by your ears only, she wouldn't want to share the experience of hearing the beautiful sounds escaping from your beautiful lips with someone else.

Suddenly, a certain warmth came over the two of you, flecks of gold surrounding you both. It was magic, and both of you knew that. But you didn't know why it was there.

Isabela groaned in your ear, whispering as her fingers kept doing what they do best to your womanhood, "You feel so good, Y/N."

"Isabela," You breathed out, "Do you feel that?"

"I feel it, mi vida. I feel it so strongly."

"I love you, Isa," You said as you closed your eyes, fully immersed in the pleasure you were receiving from your wife.

"I love you too, Y/N," Isabela said with utter sincerity, her pace quickening as you felt her body's sweat against yours.

"I'm almost there, Isa!" You yelled out her name, "God, you make me feel so good."

"Come for me, baby. Be a good girl and come for me." 

With those words, you were pushed over the edge. Yelling out Isabela's name as you came for her, and for her only. She moaned out as she came as well, and her turn hadn't even come yet, but her body responded to yours. And thus, her climax arrived at the same time as yours.

She looked at you as she recovered, your hair a mess and your naked chest heaving up and down. Golden sparks flew around the two of you before being absorbed by your body which made your skin glow for a moment. She found it quite odd, but was too tired to point it out or question it.

Isabela smiled for the first time that evening, excitement flowing through her bones at the realization. Looking at you with loving eyes, she exclaimed, "Mi vida! You're pregnant!"

"With twins," Bruno added in, "We saw two of them in the vision, real charming boys."

You exclaimed happily, "Two baby boys, can you believe it, Isa?" 

Isabela smiled at you with the purest form of happiness in her eyes, "I can't believe it as well, mi flor. I remember how it happened, I remember it so clearly!"

"How did it happen?" You asked her, genuinely curious.

"We, erm, we were-"

"Isabela, we're happy for you but we do not need the details," Camilo said with a half-disgusted face.

Isabela threw a glare at her cousin's direction before saying, "Fine. After we did it…"

Isabela paused to look at her cousins' faces – all struggling to act like decent human beings at the topic of sex, except for Antonio who didn't really fully understand anything that was happening. She continued, "Y/N glowed. And I found that odd but I thought it wasn't a big deal until now. And it all makes sense!"

Pepa's eyes started to tear up, and a cloud started to form above her head, "Oh, I remember when Isabel was born. Now, she has her own babies on the way. And she’ll be raising them with a wonderful woman, our Y/N.”

The rest of the family kept gushing about your pregnancy, and you felt pure joy in your heart at the thought of raising your own family with Isabela.

[lubdubsworld]

⋆⋆✵ Perfect Imperfections ✵⋆⋆

Chapter 1

Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.

Rating : 21+

Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )

Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

No one tells you how easy it is to imagine yourself in love with a beautiful man. Especially when you don’t have a clear understanding of what love actually is. 

When I met Jungkook, even knowing he was in love with my sister hadn’t done much to douse the flames of hope and attraction. He was a lot of things that other men in my life weren’t. Kind without being pitying. Concerned without being overbearing. He took care of me without making me feel helpless. And there was always such a thin line between these things that I found myself impressed by his ability to toe the line so well.

Jungkook took care of me without making me feel like a burden and I suppose, some part of me had assumed that this could, in due time turn into love. But I was clearly wrong.

Jungkook and Liza had been kissing in the hallway of their hotel room and someone had taken pictures. My father and his had managed to get them taken down but the news was already out, spreading like wildfire . My phone began ringing sometime around eight in the morning and hadn’t stopped. It was now a little past one in the afternoon and I felt queasy, despite the assurances that it was all being taken care of.

It was the pity in everyone’s face that I couldn’t bear.

I wasn’t hurt. Angry, yes? Upset? Of course. But I wasn’t hurt because there really was nothing to be hurt about. Jungkook didn’t love me. He was in love with my sister . He had made it clear, through his words and his actions, over and over again. At this point, I could see this debacle as nothing more than a possible way to get out of the marriage. Perhaps, my father would approve of a divorce?

I glanced at the article again.

The photo is just so annoyingly clear, I thought with a grimace. If it was a little blurry, I could convince myself it wasn’t him and her. But it was clear. That was my husband with his lips locked with my sister’s. Against my better judgment, I read the article again. It was a gossip column, of course there would be nothing good in there. But sometimes curiosity can be a persistent thing.

I felt my skin crawling as I realized that the phrases were all pretty true. There was no gossip here. Just plain facts.

And then my eyes reached the end of the article.

Of note is the fact that Jeon Jungkook’s wife is disabled and perhaps the virile young man is merely looking for pleasure he can’t find in his own marital bed.

I swallowed, quickly exiting the page and tossing the phone on the bed, away from me. I stared out of the window of our bedroom, the large doors left open to let air and sunlight in. There was a tall sycamore tree right outside out bedroom and the branches almost reached in and I stared at the rustling leaves, trying to scrub my mind clean of the words I’d just read.

But it was impossible.

It wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. The stark difference between me and Jungkook, physically. He spent five days a week in the gym and they were right. He was a young man with healthy sexual appetites.

I’d never cheat on you. Jungkook’s voice from a week ago still echoed somewhere inside my skull.

I sighed, playing with my wedding ring.

I wasn’t a virgin when I married Jungkook. Hadn’t been one , when I got into the accident either. My then boyfriend, a tall strapping lit major had been a very sexual guy as well and our libidos had matched pretty well. But I’d been an athletic nineteen year old, able to bend like a pretzel at his whim and there was just endless time and endless stamina and just a whole lot of attraction . We had spent hours, exploring each other the way college kids do. Weekends in bed spent trying every possible permutation of sex positions and kinks and I’d discovered all the things I liked. All the things I didn’t.

But then the accident had happened and well, when you’re in crippling agony, sometimes sex takes the backseat. I’d been focused on my recovery, on making sure that I came out of this at least with the ability to walk and I’d succeeded. Burying the part of me that craved a man’s touch, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

And then Jungkook had happened.

Sex with Jungkook hadn’t been difficult. Not really. I wasn’t completely crippled after all but it was also nowhere near as exciting as it could be with someone who had full use of her legs. I knew that. It was kind of obvious. But I hadn’t dwelt too much on it because to be honest, Jungkook hadn’t looked like he’d minded. He had seemed to enjoy himself .

But then reading about how he probably hadn’t enjoyed it definitely stung.

Worse yet, probably half the country was reading it with me. I felt nauseous. Did no one think that they should have left the last part out of that article? It was terrible enough without adding that bit about me.

A faint buzzing made me turn to the bed.

I glanced at my phone as it rang, my father in law’s name prominent on the screen.

Showtime, I thought with a grimace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I suppose it was too much to hope for , expecting that boy  to keep his dignity. This is outrageous.” Mr. Jeon’s loud voice rang through the foyer of the house and I flinched, gripping the edge of the futon as Sana jumped a bit . She sat next to me, holding my hand carefully. Moral support I supposed but I was feeling entirely too blasé about the whole thing. None of this was unexpected, I thought miserably and I wasn’t feeling up to pretending otherwise.

“I still wish they’d talked to me about this.”

My brother in law’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. The man looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back and I felt a pang of genuine sympathy. He looked wrecked and it was obvious she was in love with my sister. Resentment coiled thick and deep inside me. Resentment and envy.

With no effort at all she had charmed both the Jeon brothers, I thought bitterly.

Jeon Jihyun looked absolutely stricken at the thought of losing his wife.  

“I’ve asked Lisa to take the first flight out. She called me this morning, hysterical. It was something done in the heat of the moment. She .. She’s very apologetic. I believe her and I’m willing to forgive her. We’re…. We’re thinking of starting a family together. ” He said softly and my stomach turned.

I felt my skin go ice cold as I wrapped my arms around myself. Shivering just a bit, I lightly squeezed Sana’s hand. She looked at me in askance and I had to swallow to get my voice out, throat dry. The words made me want to retch. I could imagine how Jungkook would take this news.

“Can you get me my shawl? It’s in the green room.” I said hoarsely.  She bowed before moving away from me and when I looked back up, Jihyun’s gaze caught mine.

“This must be hard on you.” He said softly and I flushed, staring down at my knees.

“Not like I can run from it. Literally or figuratively.” I smiled without mirth.

“Jungkook is …he’s just confused. He needs some time to sort himself out. I’ve asked him to take a break and come back to Seoul after a couple of weeks. The separation would do him some good.” Jihyun said quietly and I sighed before nodding. What else was I supposed to say to that anyway? There wasn’t much I could do, my influence on things almost nonexistent at this point.

“Are you going to give the boy a break, Jeon?” My father demanded, staring at Jungkook’s father who sighed.

“Yes. I’ve been trying to get these damned reporters off our back. They’re all over the place. And yes, I think Jungkook should stay in Japan for a while.  We’re starting a new distribution branch there and I wanted him to scout places and possible vendors. I’ll tell him to hash out all the details before coming back.”

His phone rang again and he excused himself . I watched him leave the room, trying to make sense of his words.

How long would it take to build a whole branch in Japan? I had no clue. But it could hardly be done in a few weeks, could it?

“That’s.. That’s a long time.” I said hesitantly and my father frowned.

“is that a problem?” he asked.

I sighed. There was no point keeping this to myself. I was supposed to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. And well, it would be better if they heard it from me first.

“I.. I’m pregnant.” I said quietly.

The silence that followed was deafening. I stared at the carpet, not able to bring myself to look up at them. I could guess, what I’d find there. It was what I always found in people’s faces.

“Oh, sweet child.” My father’s sigh made me look up and there it was. The pity. I felt sick to my stomach. Sana returned, settling the hand knit shawl over my shoulders and I wrapped it tight, before glancing at her in some desperation. She smiled reassuringly, settling next to me and gently taking my fingers in hers. The warmth grounded me for a second and when Jihyun growled, I stared at him.

“I… I didn’t know. Fuck, I’m going to kill Jungkook. This fucker…” Jihyung swore and my father sighed, clearly thinking hard.

“you can’t be staying alone now.” He said softly, sitting up and cracking his knuckles, and I swallowed. I wouldn’t bear it if they tried to take me back home. I had hated it there.

“ You must come back home with me.” He said softly but I quickly shook my head.

“ No.. No I won’t. I … Please.” I begged, the mere idea of going back to my childhood home a nightmare. My mother would kill me with just her sharp and vindictive words. I was in no shape to put up with her verbal and emotional abuse. It was one of the things that had made me agree to marry Jungkook in the first place.

“Well, you can’t stay here by yourself.” My father protested. I’ve been by myself my whole damn life, I wanted to scream.

“I’ll be fine. I have Sana and the others to help me.” I said tiredly. My father shook his head before turning to Jihyun again.

“Is Namjoon still working on his book?” My father asked him and Jihyun frowned. The name elicited a tug in my memory and I turned to stare at my father, confused.

“You remember him? He used to tutor you when you were hi High School.”

I had a brief flashback to dimples and almond shaped eyes. I remembered him vaguely. Very vaguely. But nowhere well enough to want him to live with me, alone or not.  

“Dad…” I protested but he held a hand up to silence me, nodding at Jihyun .

“Namjoon? Kim Namjoon? ” He shook his head. “ I’m not sure. Why?”

“I think it would be good if he moves in here. His father was telling me that he was looking for a place to stay, now that he’s moved back to Korea. ” My father said softly, staring at me and I stiffened.

“Father…” I began desperately and my father shook his head.

“Don’t argue. He was a dear friend of yours. I don’t think you should be alone at a time like this. And I think Jungkook would approve. Like Jihyun said, the kid needs some space to sort himself out. Let him finish whatever business is going on in Japan.” My father glanced at Mr. Jeon who looked at me with guilt.

“I owe you an apology , on behalf of my idiot son.”

I looked away, not sure what to say to that. I hated the man quite passionately. Jungkook wasn’t perfect… far from it. But this man had taken a sledgehammer to my husband’s mind and heart at every turn. The disdain, the condescension, the sick way he favored his brother over him, the way nothing Jungkook did was ever good enough. It had all taken a toll on my husband. I had watched it chip away at Jungkook’s self confidence, at his mental health.

“I think more than anything, you owe an apology to your son. You knew he was in love with Lisa and yet…. You forced him to marry me.” I said quietly and the room went eerily quiet. My father rounded on me , eyes blazing.

“Leah!!! Apologize, now!” He roared and I looked away.

“You’re all the same. Ungrateful and entitled.” Mr. Jeon said sharply, before turning to his son. “ I’m leaving Jihyun-ah. Tell me when that wife of yours get home. I want to talk to her.”

He shared a half hug with my father before stalking off and my father grabbed his jacket as well.

“I’ll leave as well. Your mother is being quite hysterical. Apparently, all her friends are hounding her about the article.” He sighed and I nodded , watching him shrug on the jacket before nodding at Jihyun and then following his friend out to the front doors.

Jihyun stayed standing , watching my father’s form disappear through the door before turning to me.

“ Are you alright?” He said quietly, moving to kneel in front of me. Sana stood up, bowing before leaving and I watched her disappear into the hallway leading to the kitchens. Jihyun’s fingers wrapped around mine, brushing my knees and I stared down at him.

“The question is, are you alright?” I brushed the hair off his face. He sighed.

“No. No I’m not. I’m angry and jealous and very much filled with resentment towards my brother.” He said honestly and I laughed, tugging on his hand and patting the seat next to me. He straightened before moving to settle next to me and I leaned on his shoulders, sighing as he wrapped on around me, the warmth of his body comforting .

“Are you going to give your marriage a chance?” I asked carefully.

“She told me she was going to break things off for good. We.. We’ve been talking about it. Starting a family, making this work.” He said quietly. I nodded. It was understandable. Unlike Jungkook and I , Jihyun had a responsibility. He would need a son and even though people liked to act like they didn’t care much about gender, like they didn’t care much about having children , it was sort of an unspoken rule. First son of the house ? You had to have a male heir to carry the family name.

I wondered how that conversation had gone between Jungkook and Lisa. It didn’t really match the photo I’d seen.

“I suppose Jungkook probably put up a fight. He genuinely wants to end up with her. He… He tells me often that he loves her and can’t love anyone else. ” I wondered if I ought to feel embarrassed or insulted.

But the truth was, I was numb to a lot of things that had once hurt quite a lot..

The conversation with Jungkook about my pregnancy had definitely cleared things up for me. There was nothing there worth salvaging. Chasing something that wasn’t real , that was foolishness. Especially when I had a very real baby to think about. A child that counted on me to make the right choices.

“I don’t think he did. She spoke to me last night and said that he agreed. Of course that was before the article came out. I’d like to think she didn’t lie to me but I’m not sure.”

I sighed, settling in closer to his chest. He was warm and firm, solid and reliable. I wondered if it would have been easier, if my father had just married me off to Jihyun instead. Jihyun and I …we were alike. We had been friends , even from childhood. Had watched with fond adoration as our younger siblings had fallen madly, wildly in love. Jungkook and Liza had been drawn to each other from the first. Inevitable.

Jihyun and I were more carefree. We didn’t feel things that intensely and perhaps that was why we could sit here in the calm of the afternoon air, quiet and introspective when we ought to be furious and raging.

“ Should we run off together? You and i?” He said suddenly making me laugh.

“Very much incapable of running.” I reminded him with a grin and he squeezed my shoulder .

“I’d carry you.” He said simply.

“Where would we go?” I asked curiously, indulging the fantasy for just a few minutes.

“Somewhere far away. Maybe India? There’s so many people there and we could get lost in the crowds.”

“That does sound appealing.” I smiled and turned to look up at him. His face inches from mine, not as handsome as Jungkook but strong featured and kind. “ But I’m not alone anymore. I have a child.”

His gaze dipped to my lap.

“Yes. Jungkook’s child.” He said thoughtfully.

“No. Mine. Nobody else’s . Just mine.” I said quietly. Jihyun’s gaze softened. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, echoing his father’s words.” On behalf of my idiot brother, I’m sorry.”

And where Mr. Jeon’s words hadn’t made any sort of impact, Jihyun’s made my heart clench and ache in the worst way. Self pity was something I loathed but sometimes, being handed the short end of the stick at every turn in life makes it impossible to not feel sorry for yourself.

Tears stung, welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lashes like water bubbling out of an aquifer.

I blinked slowly, not bothering to wipe them as they traced a path down my face, dripping into the fabric of my shawl. In a moment of clarity I wondered what Jungkook must be going through now. Nothing good for sure.

It definitely said something, that I still worried for him. Sighing, I let Jihyun hug me closer. I would take advantage of his kindness for a few more minutes. It had been a while since someone had held me like I mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I called Jungkook that evening.

It wasn’t an easy choice but my heart ached and my mind raced with unanswered questions. I didn’t want to get lost in my own thoughts so I didn’t overthink it. We were still married. I was allowed to call him.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Where are you?” I asked quietly and Jungkook’s groan made my face heat up a little.

“I… Leah?” He sounded groggy. I glanced at the time. It wasn’t late.

“Are you sleeping?”

He didn’t reply for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry about what happened. We.. We didn’t do anything else. It was just.. it was a kiss. Just that.”

“Are you still in the hotel?” I asked quietly ignoring his words.

“ For tonight, yes. Dad wants me to stay with a friend of his. I’ll be going over to their place tomorrow morning.” He replied .

Silence followed for a few seconds.

“Namjoon is moving in tomorrow.” I said stiffly.

Jungkook didn’t respond for a minute or so.

“Yes. Father said it’s a good idea. And I agree. You shouldn’t be alone while I’m here. He’s right. Hyung’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.” Jungkook said softly.

“Liza came home. She wanted to talk to me.” I said quietly.

Jungkook didn’t reply and I sighed.

“I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her before I talked to you. I don’t… I don’t want to say anything to her that I haven’t already said before. But I still want to know your thoughts on all this. Your plans, that is. I take it you weren’t happy with her ending things.” I said stiltedly.

Jungkook didn’t reply for a few seconds.

“Things between us ended a long time ago, Leah. It was over when we both agreed to marry other people. Maybe even before that, I don’t know… I … I guess I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” He said quietly. “ She’s different, now. Even that kiss felt so wrong.  She’s moving on. I’m glad in a way. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone like hyung. He’s better than me in everyway and-”

God I wanted to strangle him.

“So why did you kiss her?” I snapped. “ If you’re so generously letting her go why would you…” I stopped.

“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me. It was barely for a second.” He muttered. “ whoever it was must’ve been videoing us for a while.”

I had to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this little detail made no difference.

“Right.” I sighed. “ So, you won’t be home for a while?”

“Six weeks at least.” He said quietly.

I tried to keep the disappointment down. I still wanted to see him, just to make sure he was okay. But I knew that was just the pregnancy hormones talking.

“Okay.” I said simply.

“How are you? Did you go see the doctor?” He asked softly and the question surprised me. I was half sure he had forgotten.

“No, not yet. Maybe in a couple of days.” I scratched at a small stain on my skirt. Lime juice and baking soda, I thought absently. That should get the stain out.  

“Its pretty late. You should go see the doctor, Leah. I.. I looked stuff up. They say you have to be on pre natal vitamins, folic acid and iron supplements  and you have to have  a balanced diet. I called Sana earlier and told her to speak to our doctor and get a diet chart for you. She said she’ll do it soon. So , please take care of yourself.”

Jungkook sounded entirely serious and as always my brain felt muddled, unable to process why he did the things he did. He had looked things up about the pregnancy and that implied some sort of interest, didn’t it? But ….. he had also kissed my sister so what was I supposed to do with this?

“I’ll call you.” I said shakily, drained. I was done for the day.

“Right.” He said softly. “ Namjoon hyung will be there tomorrow right? Should I talk to him? He could take you to the doctor.”

“No.. That’s fine. I’ll manage.” I said quickly.

“You’re sure?” There was genuine worry there.

“Yes.” I sighed.

“Alright.”

Silence again. I exhaled shakily.

“Should I hang up?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. Good night. ” He breathed.

“Good night, Jungkook.”

Click.

I stared at the wall, gently lowering the phone and placing it on the bed next to me.

She deserves better than me, his voice echoed in my head.

Well, so did I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon looked nothing like the twenty one year old college student I’d seen a decade ago. I knew he was a successful novelist and I’d read all his books. They were mostly philosophical or commentaries on life and emotions. I enjoyed the way he wrote : melancholic and deep but also clear and easy to understand. It was like staring at a particularly deep pool, being able to see all the way down to the bottom because of how clean the waters were. But once you put your feet in, the depth  always surprised you.

“That’s a lot of books.” I laughed, gripping the edge of the door frame as I watched him stumble under the weight of a crate full of bound books. Namjoon’s messy brown hair peeked over the top, and when he adjusted the huge load to stare at me, I caught sight of his handsome face stretched in a dimpled grin, eyes glinting.

“Research.” He grunted, straightening himself up and I watched the flex of his muscles as he carefully moved to place the crate down in one corner of the large bedroom that I’d had cleaned for him. It was on the west wing of the house, parallel to my own bedroom that I shared with Jungkook . Namjoon had spent three years working as a professor somewhere in Indonesia. And I knew that he’d spent a year backpacking all over Scandinavia. I stared at his tall strapping figure, watching him set up his writing space carefully, sorting out boxes and electronics.

He had driven here in his Range Rover and I knew all his clothes were still there in the back of the car.

“Should I ask the footmen to get your clothes?” I asked and he glanced up at me, frowning.

“Footmen?” He looked confused and I rolled my eyes.

“Namjoon…” I said chidingly and he grinned again.

“I keep forgetting you’re filthy rich. Makes me wish I should have beaten Jungkook to the game and bagged myself a rich wife.” He winked. It was a joke but there was no mistaking the hint of interest in his eye. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Being married to Jungkook had definitely made me question the attraction I held for men so it felt good, having someone as handsome and whole and successful as Namjoon look at me like that.

“I’ll ask them to get your clothes. You should shower and settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight.” I said quickly and he nodded.

“You’re going to be okay heading back to your room? Let me know if you need help.” He pointed at my feet and I nodded. It was sweet of him to offer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was surprisingly not awkward at all. Namjoon had a lot of interesting stories to share and I found myself clinging to ever word in rapt attention. He spoke about all the folklore he’d run into in different places, how he thought that no matter the culture, there were always some common things you could find in every one of them. He also talked a little about his next book, which he hadn’t named yet.

“It’s about second chances. Forgiving and moving on.” He said, taking another bite of his braised pork and moving to make another lettuce wrap.

“ Heavy stuff.” I said thoughtfully. “ Most of my writing is commercial. I just try to sell stuff to reluctant people. It’s not much but it keeps me occupied and it’s always nice to make money that you can call your own.”

“It’s because you don’t write for yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can truly be who you are.” He said firmly and I nodded in agreement.

My writing in college had been vivid and bright and filled with life. But after the accident, it had turned grey and gloomy. The words seemed to drip with loss and longing and  I didn’t enjoy it, because it was a reminder that I was no longer the vibrant, attractive fulsome girl I once was.

“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.” I smiled. “ Being who I am. I would rather pretend I’m at least a little alright.”

Namjoon stared at me, thoughtful.

“You used to run track.” He said softly and I grinned.

“You remember.” I said, pleased.

“Of course I do and you were captain of the volleyball team as well. You used to organize all those hikes and treks and stuff.”

“Yes I did. I loved the outdoors.” I stared out of the window.

“Loved? Past tense?” He tilted his head. I stared at him, shaking my head.

“What kind of question is that.” I shook my head. “ Look at me. I’m not trekking anytime soon, considering how the last time ended.”

“You can still go out.” He frowned. “ When was the last time you went somewhere?”

I shook my head.

“Oppa…”

“Listen. You know me. You’ve known me for more than a decade. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you rattle around this old house like a ghost when you should be out there taking in all the sunshine you can get?” Namjoon placed his chopsticks down and linked his fingers together, staring at me.

I stared at him, and it was definitely there. The concern, the affection. Not that different from when I was sixteen and struggling to understand what pathos meant.

But now there was a definite undercurrent of attraction. Back then it had been childish, the wild crush of a teenager on her hot tutor but now, now I knew that he was so much more than just a hot guy.

“I’m pregnant.” I said softly, more a reminder to myself than anything else.

Namjoon grinned.

“We’ll steer clear of horse riding and alcohol. Anything else you can just let me know.”

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“I think I’m getting one now.” I deadpanned.

“Because you’re nervous.” He grinned.

“Because your dimples look too adorable.” I retorted.

He laughed.

“I’ll talk to Jihyun and we’ll go see your doctor first. Then we’ll go out and have  a nice picnic.”

“Namjoon, I can’t…”

“You don’t know that.” He said firmly.” You don’t know if you can or can’t because you’ve never tried. Listen I love picnics and I love going out and I want company. I’m agreeing to be stuck with you for a while and the least you can do is  give me company at a picnic. You know how big a loser I’d seem like if I went by myself?”

It was like I was sixteen again getting brow beaten into things by a tutor who just hated the idea of not getting his way. I shook my head fondly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fourteen weeks. Three and a half months.

I stared at the ultrasound, feeling a multitude of things, not all of them good. The baby was growing well and I had all my prescriptions filled. Namjoon had offered to come with me but I had refused. It was too intimate and he was still a stranger. I did take a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to Jungkook.

/Jungkook called me back almost at once.

“You went to the doctor?” He asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Were you running?” I asked, surprised.

“Not really. I’m supposed to be meeting one of the vendors for lunch and I thought I could walk to the restaurant but its farther than I thought.” He huffed.

“Everything’s fine. Baby’s due in July.” I said quietly.

“Summer. That’s good.” He replied. “Right?”

I hesitated. What did that mean? What did it matter when the baby would be born?

“Because winter would mean it being too cold . Summer we can take the baby out and stuff without worrying too much.” Jungkook said softly.

Oh.

“How’s work?” I asked awkwardly. The non conversation was getting tedious. There was just so much to talk about and it was obvious that both of us weren’t in the mood to actually ask or answer anything worthwhile.

“Did dad say something?” Jungkook asked quickly and I frowned.

“No. Why?”

“He wants me to join hyung in the corporate office. Leave the smelter units.” Jungkook sounded subdued and upset and I felt sympathy well inside me.

“Join him? As what?” I asked quietly.

“Head of the marketing department. I’ll be reporting to Seokjin hyung.” Jungkook had clearly started walking again, breath coming in little exhales.

“You don’t want it?” I asked confused, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.

“I mean… I have a degree in Business and Finance. Hyung’s the CEO , I was hoping I’d be the CFO.” Jungkook sighed, “ But I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t disown me altogether after what happened earlier.”

I stayed quiet and so did he.

“We need to talk . When you get back. You … I know you don’t like sharing about what you feel but you owe me an explanation.” I said firmly.

“I know. But I meant what I said when I left. I’m going to be there for you and the baby. You’re still my wife. That’s not going to change.”

I ran my fingers over the ultrasound.

“Did you also mean the part where you said you can’t stand me.” I said bitterly .

Jungkook didn’t reply.

“I… You know I didn’t. That was just something I said on impulse. I’m sorry. You’re… You’ve been nothing but good to me. And honestly, just the fact that you’re carrying my child is proof that I can definitely stand you.” He sounded just a little hoarse.

I bit my lips, staring up at the door when I heard a knock.

“Leah? I’m going to have some tea in the garden … You wanna come with?” Namjoon’s voice rang through the room and I froze.

“Oh.. Oh.. yes. I’ll be down.” I said quickly, nodding . Namjoon pointed at the phone and gave to thumbs up before moving back out.

“Was that Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook’s voice came over the line.

“Oh… yeah. Yeah, he’s… he wants me to have tea with him in the gardens.” I said awkwardly.

“That’s nice.  You should go. Get out of the house once in a while.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I stayed quiet.

After another minute or so of silence, Jungkook cleared his throat.

“ I got that form you sent in for me to fill, about my medical history. I’ll fill it up and mail it to the doctor’s office. Is that alright?” He asked hesitantly. “ If not I can fly back home. If they need me in person or something.”

I frowned a bit.

“They don’t need you in person, Jungkook of course not. Mail it, that’s fine.”

Another pause.

“This is really happening huh? A baby. We’re having a baby.” The exhaustion in his voice was palpable and I wondered.

“Yes. We are.” I said simply, not having anything else to elaborate on. It was happening. I was torn between pleasure at having something to look forward to and guilt at forcing Jungkook into a role he wasn’t ready for. But , for better or for worse we were married. The child was his. It would be a Jeon.

“ I’ll do better.” He said quietly. “ With the little one. I’ll be better.”

Tears these days, sprung up out of nowhere I thought miserably, furiously swiping at my face.

“Leah?” His voice came over the line. “ Leah are you there?”

“I need to go.”

“Alright.”

“Take care of yourself too, Jungkook.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loneliness .

It’s such an odd sort of feeling. Sometimes you get used to it so much, that you forget all about it.

It stays , a part of you that doesn’t make much of an impression on you until one day, suddenly it becomes unbearable,

Until you get a glimpse of what it’s like to not be lonely.

And then suddenly it’s like a deep chasm of longing and desperation just opens up inside you, craving love and warmth and company with a hunger that feels like it can never ever be satisfied.

I’d never paid much mind to the fact that my life revolved around myself, my writing and the flowers in the garden. Not until Namjoon had come, demanding to be felt and seen and heard .

 Namjoon hadn’t joked about not letting me rattle around the house. Our days were spent sprawled on the lawns of the Jeon estate, each of us occupied with our own writing . Namjoon typed away on his laptop while I preferred my leather bound notebook. It was oddly soothing, lying there on the clean cut grass, the sharp blades rubbing against my bare legs, as I leaned back against a tree trunk, watching Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he wrote.

Namjoon had changed in a lot of ways and yet he was still somehow just as I remembered, focused and often lost in his own head. He was a contemplative man and seemed to spend as much time reading as he did writing.

“There’s a poetry club that meets every Tuesday in Gangnam. Would you like to come with me?” He asked casually, about a week after he’d moved in and I considered it. The paparazzi had finally stopped hanging about the estate and Jungkook had called the previous night with a ETA for when he would be back.

Four weeks at most, he had said firmly and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling all that excited for his return anymore. Days spent with Namjoon were more exciting. He included me in every little thing and I was addicted.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was probably wrong. Namjoon was sweet and kind but I was still married. But on the wake of that thought came the bitter reminder that there was nothing between Jungkook and I. He was in love with someone else. Why should I deny myself the joy of Namjoon’s company over a relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.

Namjoon treated me as an equal, teased and flirted like there was nothing wrong with the two of us living like this, together and away from the rest of the world and I liked it. It made me feel like perhaps happiness wasn’t such an abstract, unreachable thing after all. That perhaps I could find happiness like this. In friendship and mindless conversation with a man who didn’t see me as a burden.

“I’d love that.” I said with a smile, letting my fingers knit together with his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Scorned wife getting even? We spotted the recently cheated on Mrs Jeon getting cozy with a strapping, buff hottie in a private restaurant last Friday and we can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reclusive lady is trying to get back at her husband by flashing her own boytoy.” Namjoon read cheerfully from his phone, looking way too entertained as he showed me the zoomed photo of us holding hands over the dinner table .

“That’s quite the description they’ve put for you.” I grimaced, sipping my chamomile tea slowly. My father and Mr. Jeon had reacted with their usual anger, threatening to sue the gossip rag for libel but it was pointless. They would keep being intrusive rats. There was nothing much to be done beyond enduring them.

“My agent’s losing his mind. He’s been at me trying to get me to agree to book signings and public appearances and he’s pissed that this is the way I get introduced to Seoul’s High society. Poor guy.” Namjoon chuckled and I felt guilt churn.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I really didn’t think they’d be following me. I mean… usually they’re only tailing Jungkook but I guess with the whole thing with Lisa , they’re just looking for ways to make things worse.” I said hesitantly.

Namjoon hesitated, staring at me for a few seconds.

“We never really talked about how things are.” He said quietly. “ Between you and Jungkook, that is.”

I ran the edge of my chopsticks on the brim of my soup bowl.

“ There’s not much to say. He’s…. He’s still sorting things out. With my sister.” I smiled a little. It ached a lot less, I realized with surprise.

“They loved each other deeply.” Namjoon said softly. “ that sort of thing doesn’t go away that quickly.”

I nodded.

“Of course. And I’ve been …understanding of that. I like to think.”

“But its unfair to you. You deserve to be loved too. Fully and well .”

I leaned back to stare at him.

“Are you offering?” I laughed, teasing.

Namjoon didn’t smile, leaning forward instead.

“Depends. Will you ever consider leaving him, for me?” He said seriously.

My heart turned over inside me.

“Namjoon…” I choked out and he reached out and lightly touched my palm.

“I know how marriages work with people like you, so I think I should draw boundaries now, if I want to keep myself safe.” He smiled a bit.

“I’m pregnant. With his child.” I swallowed and Namjoon’s brows went up.

“I thought it was your child. Yours and no one else’s.”

I felt torn, staring at him and wanting to say that I didn’t consider Jungkook as the child’s father, not in the way most people did. But I also remembered my husbands determined voice, the way he kept insisting that he wouldn’t neglect the child.

“Its not about Jungkook or the child, Leah. Its about you. You married Jungkook knowing he was in love with your sister and that tells me that you listen to your parents. You don’t want to stand up against the rules set by our parents and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t let myself fall for you, knowing you’re going to be bound by your obligations to yurr family.”

I shook my head.

“Don’t fall in love with me.” I said easily. “ You’re right. My family comes first. And whether I want to be or not, I’m bound to Jungkook for life. So don’t fall in love with me.”

He smiled and nodded.

“Alright then.”

“Do you want to move out?” I asked bitterly and he looked genuinely surprised.

“What?”

“You clearly think I’m trying to seduce you or something when really, I-“

“Hey. Hey, Leah…no. No alright, that’s not what I meant. These two weeks, it was amazing. I love your mind and you’re easily one of my favorite people on this planet. We’re friends. And we’ll stay friends no matter what but you must know why I said what I said. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m a lonely guy.” He smiled a bit, “ I just don’t want to make it hard for myself when you want me to leave.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook arrived back in Korea on a cold, rainy morning and against my better judgment I let Jihyun and Lisa drag me to the airport. It was some kind of publicity stunt, that much I could fathom but I didn’t know if Jungkook was in on it. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, he had been busy wrapping things up with the new branch in Japan.

It was another bad day for my leg and I found myself leaning heavily on my sister, her arm wrapped around my waist as we walked over to the waiting area. I could already identify a few men with cameras staring at us discreetly. Paparazzi . I saw them move their cameras down to the now obvious curve of my stomach and I swallowed. I could already imagine the articles wondering who the father was : Jungkook or Namjoon.

“You alright?” My sister asked worriedly and I nodded, not looking at her. Lisa hadn’t been discouraged by initial refusal to speak to her, keeping at it till I finally caved and let her visit me at the estate. She didn’t love Jungkook anymore, she insisted . It was over. They were over . She wanted to give her marriage a chance. Very sweet and nice, that. And it was obvious that she wasn’t lying, what with the way she and her husband kept

Jihyun and Lisa had made amends with each other and it annoyed me that they seemed to be madly in love with each other all of a sudden. Like the past couple months hadn’t even happened. I stared down at my wedding ring feeling stricken. Was it unfair that I resented them for this? Why hadn’t the two of them thought of this, of breaking things off and moving on before the damn wedding. And then maybe Jungkook and I would have had a real marriage too.

Bitter and hormonal was definitely not a good combination I thought with a wince, fingers splaying on the curve of my lower belly. It was so odd, being pregnant. The extra weight somehow foreign but also …so soothing. The last scan had shown that I had an anterior placenta and that meant that I may not feel movements for a while. I didn’t mind, having found comfort in just tracing my palm over the bare skin of my stomach.

“There he is.” Jihyun’s voice made me look up and ure enough there he was.

It wasn’t the longest we’d been away from each other and yet, I felt my heart leap at the sight of him. He truly was a very handsome man, I thought miserably. And no matter what people said, it was infinitely more difficult to hate your husband when he looked that good.

Jungkook’s eyes caught mine first and I saw the way his gaze dipped straight to the curve of my bump. Even from the ten feet between us , I saw hi lips part in surprise , eyes going wide. It probably hadn’t felt real to him till now, I thought biting my lips as he carefully handed his bags over to the two chauffeurs who had rushed to help him.

Jihyun wasted no time in bounding over and hugging his little brother tight.

I glanced at the man who had been taking photos, pleased to see the surprise in his face. Was he hoping that the CEO would punch his little brother in the face ? Idiots. Lisa stayed by my side and I exhaled shakily.

“ Dad told me something and I want to know if its true.” I said quietly.

She didn’t reply.

I took a deep breath, still watching the two brothers embrace each other, Jungkook’s face buried in Jihyun’s shoulders. I could see him shaking just a little and I felt my gut clench.

“He told me that …that you never told him that you wanted to marry Jungkook. That when he suggested Jihyun you agreed at once.”

She looked away.

“Lets talk about this later.” She said quietly.

“Does Jungkook know?” I demanded. “ Because he spent that first month of our marriage cursing our father out for forcing you to marry Jihyun. Forcing. And dad says that he did no such thing. So what is the truth.”

Lisa didn’t respond.

“Jungkook  knows.” She said finally, “ I told him… the truth. When we were in Japan.” and I laughed in disbelief.

“Was that before or after you kissed him?” I snapped and she looked genuinely pained.

“Leah, I never meant to hurt you or Jungkook.” She said shakily.

“My God.” I shook my head. “ I always knew you were a selfish, greedy person but I didn’t take you for being a liar and a deceitful coward. ”

She stared down at her feet.

“Yes. I’m greedy..”  She whispered “ And you may not understand it now but I did it for you and for Jungkook.”

She moved away and I watched as Jihyun pulled away from Jungkook, still holding his arm as he held a hand out to Lisa. The smile on her face seemed genuine as she took her husband’s hand and I shifted my gaze to mine. Jihyun and Lisa walked away to their car and Jungkook stepped closer to me, his face stoic and impossible to read.  

“Leah.” He said quietly, dark hair falling into even darker eyes.

I didn’t reply, merely stepping up to gently press my palms on either side of his face.

“Welcome back.” I said softly, before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips. Jungkook’s entire body went stiff as a board at the gesture but he didn’t pull away , thankfully. It felt cold and impersonal and barely lasted a few seconds but hopefully the man had gotten a few good shots. I closed my eyes for effect, running my thumb over the clean shaven curve of his jaw, before pulling away slowly.

I peered over Jungkook’s shoulder, just to make sure and sure enough, the man was moving closer to get better angles. I smiled a little. Good. That should hold these vultures off for a while. I turned back to Jungkook and his eyes followed my gaze catching sight of the man with the camera and his entire body seemed to go stiff with anger.

“Why did you do that?” He growled and I bit my lips.

“You know why.” I made to turn away but he gripped my arm, hard. So hard that I winced.

“What are you doing?” I asked panicking, glancing at the man who was still watching.

“Since when did you start pandering to those pigs?” He whispered angrily and I flinched.

“Your father wants to introduce you to the Board of directors this weekend.” I whispered quietly, “Most of them read the news Jungkook. The last news about us can’t be about you cheating on me.”

“That’s my business. And I’ll deal with it. We’re not doing this, Leah. I’m not putting on some kind of act just to please my fucking father.” He looked furious and the taut line of his jaw made me flinch.

“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, guilt churning inside me. He was right. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to him about it but I knew that the scandal with him and Lisa wouldn’t go down well with the Board. And the Board generally had a direct say on who got hired to top managerial positions.

“I just want you to get that job.” I said softly and he stared at me, stiff body relaxing marginally.

“Let’s just go home. Yeah?” Jungkook said tiredly and I bit my lips.

Less than fifteen minutes since he came home and we were already at odds with each other.

The most ill suited couple in the universe, I thought with a grimace as he stepped right next to me and wrapped a hand around my waist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a very terrible tendency to forget taking my pills. So I generally left them by the bedside table. Stepping out of the shower, I found Jungkook sitting on my side of the bed, examining the bottle carefully. I tugged on the white t shirt I had on, suddenly embarrassed because it was Jungkook’s

I’d asked to borrow a couple over the phone,  simply because I no longer fit into my own and the ones I’d ordered weren’t here yet. Jungkook had agreed but still, it felt awkward when he was wearing the exact same t shirt himself.

He turned around when I moved to the vanity to put on moisturizer for the night and through the reflection I saw his gaze linger on my attire.

“Aspirin? Didn’t know that was part of pre natal vitamins?” He said seriously and I blinked., surprised. I turned around to stare at him, licking my lips nervously.

“How much research did you do?” I asked, genuinely curious and he flushed.

“I had a lot of free time. “ He said defensively. “ These six weeks.”

I frowned, before turning back to grab the small pot of night cream from the draw.

“My blood pressure is a little elevated. My mother had pre eclampsia with my sister and they just want to be careful.”

“Pre eclampsia?” Jungkook’s voice was fraught with nervousness and I turned back to see him almost white as a sheet.

“Jungkook…I.. its nothing serious.” I said hastily and his jaw went even more taut.

“What do you mean its not serious? Do you even know what it is?” He demanded.

“Do you?” I snapped back, annoyed at being treated like I was an errant child.

“I know that it’s the leading cause of maternal death during birth.” He all but shouted and I flinched.

“Okay…that’s only in extreme cases.” I held both my hands up. “ it’s a bit too premature to be panicking over that.”

Jungkook opened his mouth, as though to argue but then seemed to calm himself down.

“When’s your next check up?” He asked casually.

“This weekend. But its okay, Namjoon is-“

“I’ll come with you. I.. I want to come with you.” He said quietly.

I stared at him, feeling too awkward to outright refuse.

“You have the meeting with the Board. This weekend.” I said softly.

“So?” Jungkook shrugged. “ I’ll just tell them your appointment and health is more important to me. Besides isn’t that what you wanted? The reason you kissed me at the airport? You want the board to think we’re happily in love. I think that would be an excellent way to show them that. ”

Jungkook stared at me , head tilted curiously, daring me to deny what I had old him myself.

Sighing, I nodded.

“Alright.” I managed a weak smile. “ You can come with me.”

“Namjoon hyung left today, you said?” He asked casually.

I nodded.

“I should send him a bottle of his favorite wine for taking care of you so well. You look good.”

“He did it because he wanted to. Because he enjoyed it.” I retorted, his words rubbing me just a little wrong.

Jungkook smiled although it was more of a smirk.

“I’m sure he did. But I’m here now. And I did promise you that I’ll be there for you.”

“For the baby.” I said sharply, not liking the way he looked. The things he seemed to b implying.” You promised me you’d be there for the baby.”

“And right now, said baby is inside you.” He grinned now and I felt my pulse quicken at the sight. Jungkook didn’t smile with me. It wasn’t something that happened. At all. “ So I’ll have to take care of you.”

I stared at him, biting my lips.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. “My sister told you she never wanted you so now you want to start fucking me again?”

It was cruel. A terrible thing to say and I regretted it at once.

The smile faded.

“What?”

“ I…fuck Jungkook.” I groaned.

“is that what you think of me? Need I remind you that you were the one who came to me all those months ago? I never…. I would never force myself on you, Leah.” He looked like he’d been stabbed and I heart clenched.

“Jungkook , I…”

“I’ve been honest. Through all of this I’ve been honest to you. I lied to your sister, I lied to my father and fuck I even lied to myself. But I’ve been honest with you , Leah.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” I cried out, despairing. “ You were in love with my sister and –“

“And she wanted to marry my brother.” Jungkook yelled, standing up and turning to me, eyes blazing. “  All along. Know what she told me Leah? That it was never supposed to be me. That five years of us being together…it was because she was in love with my brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She started dating me to make him jealous and when she saw that I spent so much time with Jihyun she stuck around . So she could spend time with him.” He shook his head.

I stared at him, horrified.

“Jungkook….”

“I thought I could never feel more pathetic than when I stood there listening her tel me how she never felt a single thing for me. But wow…. Thank you for proving me wrong. Because right now, standing here begging you to let me a part of the child we both made knowing you only see me as some kind of pervert just looking to get into your bed….” he shook his head,” I feel worse. I feel dirty.”

My throat went dry.

“You know what?” He moved to the closet and to my horror he grabbed a bunch of his clothes and a small suitcase. “ I’m going to go get a Hotel room.”

“What? No… Jungkook, wait!” I rushed to his side, grabbing his arm but he threw my hand off quickly.

“Ask Namjoon hyung to move back in. Better yet, tell dad the truth. That you think I’m disgusting. That the thought of me being in your life makes you sick. Tell him you want a divorce and-“

“It’s a girl.” I exhaled sharply.

Jungkook went completely still.

I swallowed, my heart racing so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.

I took a deep breath and moved to lightly touch his back, fingers splaying on the broad expanse of his shoulder blade .

He turned around at that and my heart lurched at the tear tracks down his cheeks. He looked wrecked.

“ A girl?” He whispered.

I bit my lips, nodding.

“We’re having a little girl.” He looked a little shell shocked.

“Yes. And hopefully, she isn’t as dramatic as her father.” I said softly, grabbing the dozen or so t shirts he’d pulled out of the closet and pushing them back into the shelves.

Jungkook didn’t protest, still staring into space, probably just taking the news in. I felt awful for one second because I hadn’t even cared all that much when the technician had told me.

I closed the closet door and moved back to the vanity trying to process all that had been said in the last five minutes, only to feel a headache come on. I would think about it tomorrow.

I finished braiding my hair when Jungkook’s voice came from the bed.

“If you don’t want me to intrude into your space you can tell me. I’m okay with only getting information about the baby.” He said quietly.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

I turned to him slowly. i took a deep breath, considered that what i was going to say would likely change everything between us. But i had to. 

I’ve always been honest with you Leah, He had said and I decided that perhaps he deserved some honesty in return.

“I think I’m in love with Namjoon.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : these two are such a mess istg. 

ooh i don’t have a taglist for this so please comment if you wanna be on it. 

[folklorelise]

Squad Leader Mom is pregnant!

MASTERLIST

Since all the baby incidents that had happened with you, Levi or the cadets, Levi and you had been thinking about having one of your own, but you never actually talked about it. Then one night, as you were reading before going to bed, Levi sat next to you on the couch ready to have that talk with you.

“Y/N.” Levi called your name seeing that you were not paying any attention to him.

“Hm?”

“I want to have–.” Levi started but then stopped.

“What’s wrong?” you asked worried, putting down your book.

“Remember when the kids were turned into children? We said that we would talk about having a kid. I want to talk about it now.” he told you staring at you. “If you want.” Levi quickly added.

“Oh right.” you said mumbled.

To be honest, since you joined the survey corps – having a baby never was an option for you. For Levi, having a child at all was never an option, but since he met you, he felt like anything could be possible.

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine too.” Levi said.

“I don’t know.” you admitted. “I loved having the cadets around. It was a lot of fun and I loved them as kids. But a new-born is different.” you paused. “I remember my neighbour; they had one and it was constantly crying and screaming. It looked exhausting. Also, what about my job here? I cannot– I… I can’t go on expeditions knowing that our child could become an orphan.”

“I would never let that happen.” Levi assured you, taking your hands. “I know our situation is not ideal, but can you imagine how great it would be to have a tiny version of us running around. I like that thought. That maybe one day, we could finally retire with our own little family.”

“It does sound nice.” you smiled fondly at Levi. “If that makes you happy, then ok.”

“Really? Because I don’t want to pressure you.”

“I’m sure. We’ll figure it out.”

The more you thought about it, the more you were sure about your decision. You had the possibility to give Levi another chance at having his own family and that was what made you certain of your choice. The next few months were spent in bed with Levi. It was intense – Levi was intense which resulted in making the both of you exhausted for trainings and expeditions.

Eight months into trying to get pregnant, yet there was still no baby in sight. Your doctor reassured you and said that getting pregnant is not an easy task.

You get easily sick during winter, so when a week before the expedition you started to feel nauseous, you just shrug it off. Which you instantly regretted the second you felt like passing out in front of a titan outside.

Eren from far away saw you falling from the sky and did not hesitate a second before transforming and running toward you. He caught you in time from hitting the ground and Mikasa from behind killed the titan that was ready to eat you.

“Mom?” Eren tried to wake you up once Mikasa got him out. “Mom, wake up please.” Eren cried.

Every squad were running toward where Eren transformed, not knowing why he did it. Levi and his squad were the first one who arrived.

“Eren!” Levi yelled at the boy but stopped when he saw you in his arms. A million questions were running through Levi’s mind. He could not move – he wanted to see if you were fine, yet his feet would not move toward you. What if he saw a wound, what if you were already dead?

“Captain,” Eren cried, “I– I saw her falling and I came. She’s not waking up!”

“What’s happening here?” Erwin finally arrived. “Levi wha–.” he asked the captain but stopped when he saw you. “Is she d–?”

“NO!” Eren yelled. “She can’t be, I– I caught her.”

“What happened then?” Erwin asked a member of you squad.

“We don’t know. We spotted a few titans, and we were all going to take care of them. Then – squad leader Y/N was just behind us!”

“She is still breathing.” Erwin checked your pulse. “Levi’s going to take her back, and the rest of us will continue the expedition. You can go too.” Erwin told the cadets.

Every other squads were leaving the scene. Erwin slowly approached Levi.

“She’s ok, you can go and take her back.”

“Ok.” Levi breathed.

Levi slowly approached where the cadets where and took you in his arms. Once you were back, Levi rushed you to the infirmary. The cadets were all patiently waiting outside the room. Every one of them was worried, but Eren was even more.

“What if it’s my fault?” Eren said.

“You saved her!” Mikasa protested.

“When I caught her, maybe I squeezed her without noticing?”

“She is fine.” Jean shouted.

Levi was sitting with them, silently. After just a few minutes of waiting, a doctor came out of the room. Everyone stood up hoping for good news.

“Y/N is doing great. She just needs to rest now.”

“Thank you!” Sasha shouted hugging the doctor.

“Is she waking up soon?” Jean asked.

“She should be up in a few hours top. But from now on she should stay here as the pregnancy is already three months in or something.” the doctor said before leaving for his office.

“The pregnancy?” Levi repeated confused.

“Mom’s pregnant?” Jean asked Levi.

“Mom’s pregnant!” they all shouted excited.

“We’re going to have a little brother or sister!” Connie burst excited.

While the cadets were shouting, Levi was still trying to process the news.

“D– Captain!” Jean quickly corrected himself. “Can we go in and see her?”

“She’s still sleeping, I’ll go and find you once she woke up.” Levi said entering the room alone.

Levi was sitting next to you, waiting patiently for you to wake up. An hour or two later, the cadets could not wait any longer and came into your room.

“Please, can we stay?” Sasha begged the captain.

“Fine, but shup your months.”

A few minutes after the kids came in, you finally woke up. Levi was the first to notice it. He quickly stood up and came near you.

“Y/N, are you feeling ok?” Levi asked.

“Water.” you grunted.

“I’ll get you a glass of water!” Armin volunteered.

After drinking the whole glass, you instantly felt better. You asked Levi what happened and when he explained to you that you fainted due to the pregnancy, you started to cry.

“Don’t cry. It is good right? We’re happy about this.” Levi asked.

“It’s happy tears.” You confirmed laughing slightly.

Levi then left to bring some food. The second Levi left, Eren came and hugged you. Then very quickly everyone else joined the hug.

“You scared us to death earlier.” Eren told you.

“I’m sorry I made you worried.”

When Erwin came back, Levi and you were waiting for him in his office.

“Y/N’s pregnant.” Levi announced it to the commander. “Obviously, she won’t be going to the next expeditions, right?”

“What? Congratulation!” Erwin shouted happily. “That’s really great news.”

“Erwin – the expeditions.”

“Right, of course. Y/N, you have to rest from now on.”

“But I can’t do nothing.” you protested. “I’ll get bored.”

“You’re pregnant.” Levi argued. “You just have to take care of you by staying here. Erwin agrees with me.”

“I–. Y/N if you want to go home and rest, you can.” Erwin agreed.

“I don’t. I’ll stay here and work with you on paperwork, I’ll do everything as usual except going on expedition.” you stated firmly.

Levi knew how stubborn you were, so he did not continue to argue. What mattered to him was that you were not going on expedition. After announcing the news to Erwin, Levi and you went to see Hange to tell them the news. The scream Hange uttered was so loud that Moblit came in running.

“What happened?” Moblit asked worried.

“Y/N is pregnant!” Hange shouted.

“Oh! Congratulation!” Moblit hugged you.

The next person to know about it was Mike, then soon enough the entire survey corps knew about it. After a few days, you decided it was time to go and tell your family about it. You proposed to Levi to come with you since he never met them.

“I’m busy.” Levi told you.

“It’ll just be a day.”

Your parents used to live inside of wall rose, but as your father’s business became more and more successful, they moved inside of wall Sina. You had a brother in the military too. You joined at the same time – he was a year older than you – he ended up being first and chose the military police brigade.

The next morning, you and Levi took a carriage to your home. Your parents made you and your brother promise to visit at least once a month, and you both decided to visit the first Sunday of every month – which was today. You knocked on the door and it was your mother who opened the door.

“It has been so long. Ah, and you must be Levi, right?” your mother welcomed you in.

“Yes.” Levi answered.

“Come in.”

“Your brother is not there yet.” your mom told you. “Do you want to drink something?”

“Tea please, black tea. For the both of us.” you told her.

“I feel uncomfortable here.” Levi whispered once your mother was gone.

“Let’s just tell them the news and then we can go.” you reassured him.

Your mother brought back the tea and she sat on the couch in front of where you were. Your father was nowhere to be seen – he was buying groceries at the market – and your brother was probably still sleeping.

“I heard a lot about you Levi.” you mother finally said.

“Levi’s very popular.” you answered seeing that Levi did not know what to say. “He is humanity’s strongest after all.”

“Good, then I know my daughter is safe beside you.”

“Y/N is strong, and she doesn’t need me to protect her.” Levi insisted, “But that does not mean I won’t do anything in my power to protect her of course.”

“That’s good to hear.” your mother smiled gently.

Just when you wanted to continue to talk, the front door opened, and your brother and father came in. You brother hugged you, then went to hug your mother.

“Captain Levi!” your brother burst out. “You have been going out with captain Levi this whole time?” he asked you.

“Yeah, don’t be jealous.”

“It’s an honour to meet you.” (Y/B/N) told the captain, ignoring you.

Levi quickly started to relax around your family, and you were all chatting together, talking about the military and what your day looked like. After a few hours of discussion, you still did not find the right moment to tell them about your pregnancy.

“When are you going to tell them?” Levi whispered to you.

“I don’t know how to, it feels weird.”

“Do you want me to tell them?”

“No, I’ll do it. I can do this.” you cleared your throat loudly to bring their attention to you and stood up. “I came with Levi today because we had something to tell you.”

“Yes?” your mother smiled.

“I am pregnant.” you announced with a big smile.

“Oh, my dear, that is wonderful!” your mother cried happily.

Your family congratulated the two of you and asked a ton of questions about when it happened, and what you planned to do once the baby arrived. After telling them that you were planning on staying at the survey corps after the baby came. You would probably be less involved, but you could not leave your second family. At night, after taking the extra food your mother had prepared, you left.

“Why aren’t you guys sleeping?” you said seeing the cadets at the entrance.

“We were waiting for you.” Armin said.

“Is that food for us?” Sasha asked excited.

“No.” Levi answered. “Y/N is tired, so leave.”

“I’m fine, I’ll take the food to the kitchen and we can eat this together tomorrow.” you told them. “You didn’t have to wait for me, you won’t be able to wake up tomorrow.” you warned them leaving with Levi.

—————

The first few weeks of the pregnancy were going well – you worked in the office with Levi mostly, but you would also help Hange with their paperwork. Being pregnant as a survey corps soldier meant being able to have extra food during meals, being able to skip cleaning duties. You could sleep in late in the morning and no one would say anything to you.

When your baby bump started to show and you could not fit into your pants anywhere, you would go around in either dresses or in Erwin’s pants that you cut so it would not be too long.

When you were seven months pregnant, Levi started to become more and more protective of you. He would not let you carry anything, not even your food tray. He forbad the cadets to come even near you knowing how reckless they were. Only Mikasa and Armin were allowed to come and help you. Which obviously upset the other cadets.

“But dad that’s so unfair! I want to help mom too!” Jean pleaded.

“Fine, Jean you can help.” Levi finally accepted only because Jean called him dad which was one of Levi’s weak spot.

“Me too then!” the others shouted which only made Levi walk away.

When you heard about it, you reassured them that it was ok for them to stay around you. Around that time, you also stopped wearing your shoes since you could not put them on, on your own. You walked around in your slippers all the time.  

Nine months into the pregnancy and Levi never let you out of his sight. He would rest in bed with you the whole time.

“What do you want to name our baby?” you asked him one night.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think about it much.”

“I was thinking about naming her after your mother if it was a girl.”

“What?” Levi asked.

“If you don’t want to it’s fine too!” you quickly shrug it off. “It’s just–.”

“I’d like that. It’s a great idea.” Levi cut you, “I just thought… I didn’t think you would like that name.”

“Of course, I do! What if it’s a boy?”

You both brainstormed all the ideas you had before falling asleep.

You were outside with Levi during his training sessions with the cadets with a book. They were all taking a break, so you decided to join them, but when you stood up you felt something weird between your legs.

“Captain! Mom just peed herself!” Eren yelled panicking.

“Her water broke you idiot!” Sasha yelled at Eren.

Levi was definitely panicking like Eren, but he would not show it. You took a carriage with Levi direction your doctor’s house. After a few hours of labour, the baby was still inside of you.

“I can’t do that anymore.” you breathed heavily. “Just take it out!” you yelled, taking Levi hand in yours.

“It’s here, just push one last time.”

You let out a last scream and pushed as hard as you could before you heard cries.

The doctor cleaned then wrapped the baby in a blanket before giving it to Levi.

“Hello.” Levi whispered to his child.

“Is it a girl?” you asked weakly.

“It is.” Levi said looking into your eyes lovingly.

“That’s good.” you smiled when you heard a knock on the door.

“Hello.” Erwin came in with Hange and the cadets behind him. “They insisted on coming with us.”

“We bought you some flowers.” Connie handed you the bouquet.

“My favourite, thank you so much.” you teared up.

“You idiot you made her cry.” Sasha hit Connie behind the head.

“Mikasa’s the one you picked the flowers.” Connie defended himself.

“I love the flowers you guys. I’m just very tired and extra emotional.”

“Do we have a baby brother or sister?” Armin asked.

“You have a sister now.” Levi answered. “This is Kuchel.”

“Can I hold her?” Erwin asked.

“Well,” you started, “you are the godfather, of course you can.”

“Me too.” Hange exclaimed.

“You, maybe later.” Levi stated. “In a year or two, so when you drop her, she would be fine.”

“It happened once when you taught us how to hold babies.” Hange mumbled.

They were all around the new-born while Levi was laying down next to you, your head resting on his shoulder.

“You have the best mother in the world Kuchel, you’re so lucky.” Armin whispered to the baby.

—————

One night, at the boys’ dorm, a few months after Kuchel was born–

“Do you think it’s weird for us to call squad leader Y/N ‘mom’?” Eren asked. “Now that she has her own, real kid, what does that make us?” Eren continued. “We’re just a bunch of cadets again to her.”

“Why are you always thinking so negatively?” Jean sighed.

“They’re not our parents.” Eren stated sadly.

“Can you stop being so pessimistic for a minute?” Armin shouted. “She is the closest mother figure I had since I was a child, so stop this. Plus, it’s not like ever corrects us when we do. So just stop, please.”

  You obviously noticed Eren’s attitude changing towards you – you tried to talk to him, but he kept avoiding you. You asked Armin and Mikasa about it and Armin just told you not to worry about it which was not possible.

One night, as Eren was taking a walk on the training grounds, you approached him silently.

“Are you ready to talk now?” you asked him. “And don’t even think about leaving before telling me.”

“I’m fine.” Eren said avoiding your gaze.

“Eren.”

“Squad leader Y/N.”

“Since when do you call me that?” you retorted.

“It is your name.”

“If there is something wrong, you can tell me. I’m always here if you want to talk.”

“You have a kid now; you can’t worry about me– about us.”

“What?” you asked confused. “Why not?”

“Because!” Eren yelled.

“Because what?” you kept your voice calm and low.

“Because you’re not my mother! And I’m not your kid. We’re just a bunch of soldiers.” Eren cried out. “You have a real kid now, there’s no need to play family anymore.”

“Is that what you think? Is that what you all think?” you asked but Eren did not answer, “Eren… I may not be your birth mother and I would never dare to replace yours, but you are family to me. You all are. Seeing you all calling me ‘mom’ is fine, if you see me as a mother figure – it’s fine. Because I see you all as my grown-up children.” you teared up. “And that’s not going to change with Kuchel around.”

“You haven’t been spending as much time with us as you used too.” Eren guessed hesitating.

“I haven’t been sleeping much to be honest. Kuchel is crying a lot at night. That does not mean I forgot about you. Or you guys.” you turned around finding the rest of the cadets hiding behind the pillars.

“We weren’t spying!” Jean said. “We just… happen to be there.”

“I’m sorry.” Eren apologise. “I’m a terr–.”

“You’re not. You’re amazing Eren.” you hugged him which resulted in all the other boys joining the hug.

From the window of Levi office, he could see you guys hugging.

“See Kuchel,” Levi pointed at you while holding his daughter, “They are weirdos.” he sighed. “Your mother loves them though. I find them tolerable. I guess you can see them as your older brothers and sisters. You’ll grow up with a big family which is great. I’m sure you’ll love them as much as your mother do.”

—————

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY

Levi would talk to your baby bump when you were asleep.

You would be often seen with vegetables in your hand – always eating them as snacks.

You would cry for absolutely no reason too. The first time it happened, Levi was worried sick. You had dropped your apple on the ground and started to cry. From then on, Levi would just hold you tightly until you stopped crying.

The first time it happened in from of Erwin was when he offered you a new baby blanket. He thought you did not like it, but Levi quickly reassured him that it was fine. “I– I– I looove it!” you sobbed.

The first time it happened in front of the trio – Armin, Eren and Mikasa – it was because Armin kept talking about what he read about baby stuff.

“I will be the best brother ever!” Armin promised with a big smile. “No, why are you crying?”

“This is too much for my heart!” you sobbed. “You are too sweet Armin!” you hugged him.

“I’ll be a good big brother too!” Eren said hugging you.

Mikasa from behind pushed Eren and Armin aside before taking you in her arms.

“You both made her cry, I did not. Obviously, I’m the better sibling here.”

When it happened with Connie, Sasha, and Jean –

Sasha and Connie were walking in front of you and Jean.

“This Sunday is a day off; I’ll probably go and buy something at the market with Connie and Sasha.” Jean told you, “Do you need anything?”

You tried not to let tears fall but it was too adorable for you.

“Mom! Why are you crying? I’m sorry!” Jean panicked.

“What did you do you idiot!” Connie slapped Jean on his shoulder.

“Mom don’t cry, please. Dad’s going to kill me when he’s going to find out.” Jean realised.

At the same time, Levi walked in.

“What’s going on?” Levi asked.

“Nothing!” Jean said hiding your face on his chest.

“Y/N?” Levi said. “Are you ok?” to which you only responded with a thumb up. “Are you crying again?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Jean hesitated, “I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine.” Levi said, “she’s been crying a lot these days due to the pregnancy.”

—————

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT KUCHEL

Kuchel first word is ‘clean’ – Levi is always talking about it when he is around her.

Kuchel favourite cadet would be Sasha. Sasha is only sharing her food with Kuchel and she loves food too.

Kuchel loves playing ‘to fly’ with uncle Erwin and uncle Mike – the giants of the survey corps.

You bought matching outfits for Levi, Kuchel and you which Levi secretly found adorable.

————— ————— 

————— ————— 

Squad Leader Mom gets badly injured

[ijustwant2write]

Causing A Fuss-Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

(GIF credit to @hvitserkk​)

Masterlist

Requested by @elennox03 : Can you write an imagine where Anthony’s wife is pregnant and she’s at the very end of her pregnancy and he is trying to make her stay in bed and rest but she refuses and she’s somewhere in the house and she goes into labor and Anthony freaks out and then after the baby is born a little cute dad Anthony fluff?

Characters: Anthony Bridgerton x Reader, Hyacinth Bridgerton x Reader (sister-in-law), Violet Bridgerton x Reader (mother-in-law)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Pregnancy side effects, labour, mention of blood, fluff fluff fluff

                                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Anthony's strides were quick as he explored the house, desperately seeking his wife. Members of staff were ambushed with questions, startled by his tone. When he didn't get the answer he wanted, he would huff and storm off again. Where was his beloved? She wasn't where she was supposed to be.

(Y/N) laid back on the sofa as Hyacinth fanned her, the pregnant woman also fanning herself. She was just too hot, she was tired and her feet felt like they had been hit with a hammer. Her shoes were on the floor, it was far too painful to be wearing them.

"Thank you so much darling." (Y/N) said to her sister-in-law.

"Is it really that bad?" Hyacinth asked.

(Y/N) wanted to say yes. Despite pregnancy being an extraordinary feeling, the emotions and connections you made with your unborn child were confusing, there were quite a few downsides; the sickness, the tiredness, not being able to fit into your dresses or shoes, as well as feeling every single type of emotion everyday. But after seeing the young girls scared face, she knew she couldn't be entirely truthful.

"No, of course not." (Y/N) smiled, sitting up slightly."It can just get a little tiring sometimes. Have you ever held a baby?"

She nodded.

"It was heavier than you imagined, hm? Well, my baby is a little heavy right now. But they will be here soon."

"I'm very excited to meet them. I can't wait to be an auntie!"

(Y/N) melted at that."You'll be an amazing auntie."

"Here you are." Anthony entered the room, relieved to see (Y/N), until he saw what state she was in."What is wrong? Hyacinth, why didn't you fetch for me sooner?"

Anthony rushed to his wife's side, snatching the fan from his sister and fanning his wife. (Y/N) was irritated whenever Anthony was like this, it was sweet that he cared, but her fuse was short. She was resting, not bed ridden.

"I am not returning to bed Anthony. I do not wish to bicker with you." (Y/N) made it clear."I am just hot, that is all."

"The doctor advised that you stay in bed for most of the day-"

"Anthony, I cannot stay cooped up all day, laying down and doing nothing. I would go simply mad. And I have spoken to friends who are or have been pregnant, none of them did that."

"They are not professionally trained."

"That doctor has never carried a baby."

"(Y/N) said it isn't that heavy." Hyacinth spoke up.

Anthony slowly turned his head to his sister. "This is a matter for the grown ups. Go and...play somewhere."

Hyacinth knew better than to argue with Anthony, rolling her eyes before leaving. (Y/N) pursed her lips at her husband's behaviour.

"Did I ever mention how amazing you are with children?"

Anthony smirked."Well, it's a bit late to be getting lessons on childcare, isn't it?"

(Y/N) giggled, taking Anthony's hand and placing it on her bump. Anthony loved touching her growing bump. It had been strange to see his wife changing shape before his eyes. He was so used to her body having run his hands over every angle, seeing it every day from the time they were married. But it made him fall even more in love with her, if that was even possible. Anthony could write a hundred pages expressing his love for his wife, and it would still never be enough.

"I still can't believe we're having a baby." he breathed out.

(Y/N) scoffed."Are you saying I've always looked like this?"

Anthony laughed."Of course not. But no matter how much you talk about such a thing, no matter how much preparation you do, it just seems surreal."

(Y/N) hummed in response, putting her hand on top of his."I've loved carrying them, but it is time for them to come out into the world."

"Still not saying whether it's a boy or girl?"

(Y/N) shook her head."I just don't feel one way about it. Not that I care about that, as long as they're healthy."

"I still say boy."

"You would."

"You just said you didn't care."

"I don't."

"(Y/N), please can you just promise me one thing?"

"Anthony, I am not staying in bed-"

"Stay by my side as much as possible. The baby is due soon and I want to ensure you are safe when the time comes."

"Oh, Anthony, I'm with you for a majority of the day anyway."

"I know but, if there are moments where I am not present, I want to have a sound mind that you are in safe hands, such as family or a member of staff."

"Well, you know I'm not going to be leaving the house, much to my annoyance. So I will be guarded all day and night."

"You're making it sound like you're a prisoner."

"I'm just being dramatic. I just want to meet our child now."

"Well, I can't deny either of those statements."

Anthony wasn't exaggerating when he said he wanted (Y/N) beside him at all times. From then on, they were seen with each other anywhere they went in the house. Anthony didn't go out as much as he did, and he instructed there always be staff in every room and corridor. She didn't mind it, however, as her due date grew closer, the more nervous she became. Unfortunately, that meant her temper was shorter, she became more snappy and tired, and she didn't want everyone constantly reminding her that she was about to give birth. (Y/N) tried so hard to not take it out on her husband, but because he was the one always beside her, he was the only person she could lash out at.

"Anthony, I'm sorry but I just need a few moments alone. I'll return soon, just...let me calm down. I'm sorry." she apologised as she walked away from him, having screamed about how frustrated she was.

She didn't hide her deep breathing as she waddled down the corridors, passing by staff that worryingly watched her. (Y/N) wanted to calm her heart rate, try and clear her mind. Feeling too many eyes on her, (Y/N) escaped into the nearest room, slamming the door shut behind her.

"(Y/N)?" Hyacinth said behind her.

(Y/N) sighed. Would she ever be alone again?

"What are you doing in my playroom? I thought you would be with Anthony."

She was playing with her dolls, three propped up in mini chairs, as was she, as they indulged in an imaginary afternoon tea. (Y/N) couldn't help but smile at that, envisioning her child playing in this room.

"Sorry darling, I just...I needed some time away from the grown ups."

"Oh, alright. Would you like to join us for tea?" she gestured to the chair beside her, causing (Y/N) to laugh.

"I don't think I would fit in that chair, even if I wasn't with child. I'll take the rocking chair. You carry on darling, I'm sorry for the interruption."

Her aching feet carried her to the chair, cautiously lowering down onto it. She rocked her heels back and forth, though did so slowly in case it caused any nausea. Hyacinth continued her game as if (Y/N) wasn't there, but kept her voice quiet to be respectful. (Y/N) closed her eyes, finally feeling the stress lift for just a moment when a jolt of pain in her stomach startled her. It made her let out a cry, clutching onto her bump as she leaned forward. Hyacinth jumped at the sudden noise, suddenly frightened at the way (Y/N) sounded and looked.

(Y/N)'s breathing got faster and deeper, yelling out as an unbearable feeling coursed through her. Her hands wrapped around her torso, willing the feeling to stop. A shocked noise escaped her when she felt herself go wet in the chair, liquid dripping down her legs.

"Hyacinth, get Anthony!" (Y/N) groaned, thankful a staff member rushed in. Hyacinth didn't have to be told twice, running as quickly as she could to fetch her brother. She had never seen anyone in such a state, no one had ever mentioned this pain when having a baby. Tears were in her eyes as she finally found Anthony, who was standing with her two other brothers at the staircase.

"Hyacinth, what's wrong?" Benedict was the first to notice the little girl running towards him.

She immediately grabbed Anthony's hand, gripping tightly onto it."Quickly!"

"What's happened?" Anthony asked her her fretting.

"(Y/N)'s having the baby!"

A second of silence passed before Anthony sprinted in the direction his sister came from. He only had to follow the sound of screaming to find his wife. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen, she was meant to be upstairs in a comfortable position, surrounded by women staff that were prepared. He halted in the doorway when he saw her clutching onto the servant's arm as she struggled to stand from the chair. He snapped an order at another servant who followed him. The doctor had to get here as soon as possible, and the other students needed to prepare immediately.

"It's alright my love, I'm here. The doctor is on his way." Anthony reassured her as he took her other arm.

"I'm in so much pain Anthony." she wept."I can't do it, I can't do it, I don't have control over my own body. I'm frightened!"

Anthony's heart was shattering into a million pieces seeing his wife like this. He couldn't do anything to help. He couldn't ease the pain. If he could, he would take all of the pain she had and endure it himself. Anthony was a mix of emotions; fear for his wife, excitement to meet his child, terrified at (Y/N)'a reactions and noises. It was all too much, nothing would have prepared him for this.

"Anthony, you must leave!" Violet suddenly appeared.

"Mama, I can't leave her-"

"You wouldn’t want to see this Anthony. Go wait for the doctor, we all know what we’re doing here.”

Anthony knew of the steps to take in this event, it was not proper for a man to be present during the ordeal of birthing. But the love for (Y/N) was urging him to stay and protect her, that was what he was supposed to do as a husband, not abandon her. They went through everything together. Now he was being told to leave because of societies rules.

Benedict and Colin were able to pull away Anthony easier than they thought, due to him being frozen and confused about what he should do. He only registered that (Y/N) was calling for him after they left the room. Fighting against his brothers hold, he ignored their please for him to stop. They didn’t understand. They weren’t married, they had no idea what it was like to be bonded with someone in this way. However, he knew they were right, he had to stay away. All he could do now was help her from outside of the room.

“Where is the doctor?!” he demanded to know from the nearest servant.

“H-he has b-been called upon, Lord Bridgerton.” they stuttered.

“As soon as he arrives, he is to be brought here, quickly! Gather pillows, as many as you can, and blankets, we must ensure my wife is as comfortable as she can be. She should have been giving birth in a bed!”

Benedict and Colin stood back in silence, shocked by the quick turn around in their brother’s behaviour. They didn’t dare say anything in case they were snapped at. 

(Y/N) was clinging onto Violet’s hand as she screamed, hating the way her body had taken over and she couldn’t take back control. Violet remained calm, knowing that (Y/N) could do this. She had birthed all of her children with no complications, she knew how much women had to endure, so Violet was equipped with the necessary grit and vigour to help her daughter-in-law. (Y/N) was grateful to have Violet there.

A gruelling eight hours passed, filled with (Y/N) screaming, crying, cursing, pleading and begging for Anthony. It took every ounce of his willpower to not dash back to her, he would never forgive himself for this. He wished he could change the rules so he could be beside her. He paced with a strong drink in his hand for those eight hours, his brothers sitting down, trying to support him. However, it was getting late, and they found themselves struggling to keep their eyes open. Anthony had got rid of his jacket, sleeves rolled up and shirt buttons undone as he got warm, fretting over what was happening to (Y/N). 

“Lord Bridgerton!” a servant exclaimed as they entered the room, trying to stay composed. 

The men perked up, suddenly awake. Anthony noticed the servant was smiling, which made him relieved.“What is it?”

“Lady Bridgerton has given birth.”

Anthony didn’t need to hear anything else. He instantly ran to where his poor wife had been in labour. Hyacinth would never step foot in that room again. He pushed past anyone that got in his way, halting at the open doors to the playroom. The first thing he saw was blood, a lot of it, alarmed at the sight. But as he entered the room, it was forgotten about when he saw (Y/N)’s grin aimed at the baby wriggling around in her arms. His steps were slow as he approached, scared that he would disturb the peace that had finally fallen in this room. 

“Anthony.” (Y/N) breathed out, clearly exhausted. 

“I’m sorry.” was all Anthony could manage, eyes still fixed on his child. 

“For what?”

“For not being here.”

“You’re here now, and I understand darling. Now come meet your son.”

Anthony’s eyes widened.“I-I have a son? We have a baby boy?”

The doctor who had been crouched beside (Y/N) smiled at the Lord, standing to give the couple their space.“Yes, Lord Bridgerton, you’re now a father and have a son, who is very healthy, just like his mother.”

Violet also backed away, beaming down at her eldest son. She had never imagined him married and settled down so quickly, she expected to have many more years of her son fooling around with women not of a certain standard. Once (Y/N) waltzed in, Violet had seen a change in Anthony, and hope was restored in the Viscount.

“He’s finally here.” (Y/N) smiled as Anthony sat beside her.

“He really is.” one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders, whilst the other supported her arms holding the baby.“You’re amazing. You did this (Y/N).”

“We did it.”

“No, no, you did this all by yourself. I’ll be with you every time form now on.”

“Every time? How many are you planning to have?”

He chuckled.“We’ll discuss that later.”

(Y/N) giggled, gently kissing the top of their baby’s forehead. Anthony couldn’t stop smiling, repeating (Y/N)’s actions to her. He had never envisioned this, he didn’t want to be trapped in this life at first. He had so many responsibilities dumped on him after his father died, he wanted to make sure his family was secure and have the freedom for himself; until he met (Y/N), and suddenly, he could see his entire future planned in front of him with this woman. He never fathomed that his heart could give anymore love for anyone else in this world, and he had been proven wrong. (Y/N) was the love of his life, as was his son, and he would protect and cherish them for the rest of his life. 

[somediyprojects]

The Tapestree Project is a memory cloth/tapestry stitched and designed by Rachel Samek (née Piso). This is an ongoing project in which she documents her life in cross-stitch. She stitches memories, current events, and anything that especially interests her. She keeps an online journal to recount why she chose certain motifs. The tapestree is stitched on 45ct. ivory Graziano linen with a range cotton embroidery thread. The cloth measures about three feet wide by two feet high.

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Descriptions under the cut.

pics 1 & 2— I stitched these little gold scissors this week to remember the foggy, intense few months immediately following the birth of my boys. If you knew me around that time, you know that when I was just about 7 months pregnant, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and received an emergency C-section at 31 weeks. All three guys were incredibly tiny (Charlie was 2 lb 12 oz) and as expected, they would go on to spend long (long, long) stretches in the NICU. Also expectedly, I was a wild mess. I was spending long days at the hospital in the middle of winter, feeling powerless, and as a result, I was killing myself trying to pump enough to keep up with three infants. During those delirious nights of waking up every few hours, I would collapse in front of Hulu (probably rewatching The Handmaid's Tale) and Hulu would do what Hulu did best: repeat the exact same commercial every 20 minutes. During those first weeks, that commercial was a trailer for the upcoming horror movie "Us." The score of the two-minute trailer is so unsettling that even though I would sometimes scramble to switch it off, it was also weirdly comforting to be shocked out of my weepy, helpless state of zombiehood. This came with the price of scaring myself shitless when I had to walk back to bed at 3 AM with the slowed-down, beefed up version of "I Got 5 On It" on repeat in my head. These scissors, a symbol from the movie, represent those weird, difficult postpartum nights. Whenever I hear the first few chords from the trailer, I'm immediately back in 2019, freezing cold on our old couch, fully panicked at life.

pics 3 & 4— I added more hairwork to my tapestree! Last fall, I cross stitched a tiny design using my boys’ hair. I tried again this weekend, using my own hair to make this equally tiny bird. One of the questions I get a lot with this project is whether I get burned out working on the same thing for so long. Yes, I get sick of it, mostly due to the pressure I put on myself to include things (like current events) out of obligation. This bird was one way to bring “me” back into it. If you know anything about the Victorians, you know that they loved crafting with hair. One way was braiding a lock and placing it in a book with a poem underneath—creating an ode to a person’s essence. Since it was fashionable to be sentimental, they made similar keepsakes as jewelry and other textile art. I’ve talked in the past about how much of a nightmare it is working with hair, but if you’re interested in seeing my process, you can find a highlight on my page that covers my last attempt. I also included a picture of the back of my stitching (first time ever!) so you can see the ridiculous knot it creates.

pics 5-7— I have a new tapestree addition! It's the weird little quilt at the very bottom! I have a bin in our basement with a bunch of the boys' preemie onesies. I have plans to make a quilt with them, but since that probably won't happen for another 20 years, I wanted to add something small to my tapestree. Half of the quilt blocks are snipped from the clothes with patterns that have the strongest memories of the boys being in the hospital (the white parts are fabric, for example). The rest is filled in with solid cross stitch. It's been a crazy few weeks! I recently started working full time again (from home, fortunately!) and we're starting to plan the boys' third birthday on December 14th. I can't believe it.🤍