#like I feel like a dude reckoning with their bisexuality for the first time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sailorblossoms-snowbaz · 2 years

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There's much going on in the scene where Simon basically expresses his disinterest in labeling himself (outside of "baz-sexual" lol which sounds funny but that's Simon genuinely communicating something with the vocabulary he has available). I think the funniest thing though is that he's basically like "I don't know shit but let me tell you nothing about my relationship with Agatha can be used to say I'm bisexual, especially not sex". And by funny I mean kinda sad and a bit concerning actually.

On a more serious note, I think it's really interesting to see how Simon reacts to different labels. He never really wonders whether he's bisexual, his struggles with attempting to define identity are entirely centered on his feelings for Baz. He even finds a way to, I kid you not, make female boobs about Baz. Gay and Baz-sexual are the only labels he wrestles with, and even gay is something he considers because Baz is a man. It's also interesting that this doesn't change even when presented with the possibility that bisexuality could be a word that describes his experiences.

I think so much is encapsulated here. First of all, Simon does struggle with internalized homophobia (that hesitation before the whole man and boy exchange), and we see him trying to move past that in the third book (Baz noting he gets off with public displays of affection despite "worrying about looking gay" and how that's probably connected, the "gay at ikea" scene). But I don't think he struggles with internalized biphobia–it's just not even on his radar at all. Simon can be very quick at solving things once he has enough information, and I doubt he needed any time to realize why his boyfriend, who knows he has an ex-girlfriend, might think he's bisexual. And he's put off by the idea. Look at that No being italicized for emphasis. He has such a strong rejection of being labeled as bisexual, and I think this is all about him rejecting the idea of his past relationship with Agatha being understood as romantic love and sexual attraction, even before he finally processes and voices that "it was all just going through the motions, I'm not sure I even felt anything at all".

Worth noting that he's in agreement with Agatha on this. She was there, and in hindsight, she doesn't think the guy was ever into her (a feeling she already manifest when breaking up with him, when she's describing their relationship as feeling non-existent, and still feeling unwanted after being together for 3 years)

She equates this to the way Baz, known homosexual, was never into her either.

Worth noting too that the label conversation is at the beginning of the chapter that has Simon dragging himself kicking and screaming (literally) through the realization that he was never really into Agatha in that way, he just assumed that must be it while they were dating, ignoring anything that indicated otherwise. But Simon really had to be aware of this on some level that he just wasn't acknowledging for him to be able to reach some answers when Baz's questions make him look back. Again, the rejection of seeing his past relationship with Agatha as romantic love/attraction had to be there on a subconscious level for him to have the instinct to be put off by being labeled in this way because of it.

In comparison, he's much more nuanced and complicated about gay as a label. He's not prepared to think about it at the beginning, but it's something he keeps coming back to. He says he's not gay "immediately" here but at the end of the chapter he goes "maybe this makes me gay, or maybe this just makes me yours". And this is all because of his feelings for Baz. He's not ever like "I'm into dudes in general so I reckon that makes me gay". The questioning is always in the line of "the love of my life is a man, does that make me gay?" and he brings up the possibility of only being into Baz more than once... which takes me to Baz going "if he's not gay or bi what does that leave? straight is certainly not an option" and well! It leaves the ace spectrum, for instance, my good guy.

I also think Simon going "I never thought I was straight, I never thought about my sexuality at all" is interesting, because even though it aligns with how he lived for so long not really thinking, part of being allosexual is knowing instinctively when you're experiencing attraction too, and it's an acespec experience to need forever to decide if you're feeling attracted to strangers. And Simon really can't offer examples of him feeling attraction that doesn't involve Baz! In fact, he says it to himself: he has only ever wanted Baz, and he's thinking this in the context of thinking about sex.

In short: everything about Simon rejecting bisexuality is about him rejecting the idea that he felt romantic love/attraction for Agatha, and everything about him wrestling with the gay label is centered on his feelings for Baz.

#sorry fellas i heard someone said agatha and simon were really in love and physically attracted to each other and i have to rant a bit #i'm incapable of saying ´what the fuck' and moving on with my day like a normal person apparently #i have to open my blog like that cow and chicken scene #y'all remember that late 90s cartoon?#like 'Dear Diary you ain't never gonna believe what I am about to write down on yous'#anyway #unlabeled simon rights!#simon snow #baz grimm pitch #snowbaz

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dolphinqueen10 · 2 years

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Gettin’ Into My Feels For RW&RB Chapter 9

Yall, this is serious. I am on my DESKTOP instead of my mobile making this post. I NEVER do this.

So....chapter 9, Red, White, and Royal Blue. Let’s talk about it. Mostly about the lake trip.

First, I’m thrilled at the reaction Alex got from both parents after coming out to them as bisexual. At least they walk the walk and don’t just talk the talk. Ellen was a little harsh afterwards, but I absolutely understand where she’s coming from. And I think her actions set the stage for what happens at the end of the chapter.

Without his mom’s campaign to distract him (as he so kindly points out to us later is a pattern for most of his adult life), Alex has to have a reckoning with himself and these inconvenient human feelings he’s been having for quite some time about a lot of things, but mostly Henry. Trust me, I get it dude. Literally I’m distracting myself with this silly essay instead of thinking about a therapy appointment I have later.

I digress. No distractions, so Alex is Figuring Out His Shit. Thank God. Chaos Demons are fun but *exhausting*. So this lake vacation is well-timed and a good chance for Alex to think about the Henry Situation that he’s been avoiding thinking about for some time.

Alex and Oscar in the kitchen is going to be a special scene to me always I think. We haven’t seen much of his parents yet, but this interaction....in a safe space, away from prying eyes, immersed in their family traditions and their heritage....it just makes me happy to picture them speaking in rapid-fire Spanish, because that’s how his dad first speaks to him about what’s on Alex’s mind. I like to think they continue the whole conversation in Spanish, it just feels more personal and intimate. And I kinda have a language kink. Sue me.

Oscar bringing up Raf’s apparent betrayal first was a nice touch, like he’s easing Alex into talking about what’s really bothering him while also getting him to talk about something smaller that he knows is ALSO a problem. Alex has not forgotten the conversation he overheard in the housekeeper’s office and neither have I, and I am really looking forward to seeing how that plays out. I wonder if, when Oscar says, “You got a lot in common,” in reference to Rafael, if Oscar suspected, even back then, that Alex was bisexual.

Ugh....re-reading over Oscar’s musings about Ellen after the ending of this chapter makes me nauseous. He still loves her, but it wasn’t enough to keep them together. From the beginning, I have worried about that with Alex and Henry. There are so many factors working against them. And while I still believe in the happy ending, right now it’s going to take some bravery from both of them to fix things.

I am ashamed of myself for the gooey heart-eyes I get every time I think about Alex cozied up to Henry by the campfire, listening to “Annie’s Song” on an acoustic guitar played by June, kissing Henry and admitting consciously to himself that he is in love. And it’s like....once he admits it, he CANNOT ignore it. He lights a spark that will not be tamed, will not be put out, will consume everything and I AM HERE FOR IT.

I wonder when Henry caught on to how Alex was feeling. Cuddled up by the campfire? Catching him in the kitchen making breakfast? Or, more likely, when they are skinny dipping in the lake, face-to-face, and Alex shares his fantasy of their life together after inauguration. After. Inauguration . He’s so caught up in his own feelings that he forgets Henry’s situation. Nothing will change for Henry after inauguration. Henry doesn’t have the freedom to indulge any romantic fantasies he may be harboring during this trip or since he met Alex (and we know this bastard has romantic fantasies. We know). Henry has loved Alex probably as long as Alex has loved Henry, in my opinion. I am curious as to how long he’s admitted that to himself though. Looking forward to finding out.

Aaaaaah....I knew the minute Henry ducked under the water that he was going to be a runner. It breaks my heart but I totally understand it (and I see now why @welcometololaland said that Alex had things in common with Carlos Reyes). This is all speculation on my part from here on out, but Henry probably knows way better than Alex what kind of obstacles they’ll be facing, now or after inauguration. Henry isn’t there yet; he’s not ready to toss his established life away just for love. Hell, maybe Henry isn’t even ready to admit to himself that this IS love. Yeah, I still need Henry’s POV for this entire fucking book.

I have a feeling the next chapter is going to crush me. I am so ready for it.

#red white and royal blue #in my feels about it #rwrb

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ravenadottir · 4 years

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Do you have any um.. 😳

vampire headcanons for the S2 LI's? 👀

fucking hell aly!

let’s jump right into it! this has been in my drafts for far too long lol

‘gary’

a hybrid between werewolf and vampire, and here’s why:

the number of people he bedded. he’s too young to have such high numbers, although, i don’t think it goes beyond the hundred something, but still!!

how fucking pale he is, despite of the time he spends under the spanish punishing sun

he loves biting and i’ve been pointing that out since the beginning, ever since the first kink list anons have asked

he likes watching the shipyard?? NO. HE LIKES SCOUTING FOR BLOOD TO SUCK, MY GUY. who does he think he’s fooling??

nan could easily be the one who turned him, and stuck around to guide him through a life of honest vampirism. (you know, suck their blood but ask first, nd give back to the community by serving in the soup kitchen)

girls that never see him as a potential? were never bitten by him so the news wouldn’t be spread! they never come back not because they don’t see him as a potential boyfriend, but because they had nightmares and night terrors after the sex! WHO WOULDN’T COME BACK FOR SECONDS, MY FELLOW SIMP?? riddle me that!

vampires have all sorts of power, and it’s still odd to me a petit girl like mc could ever bench him, unless, he made himself lighter so she wouldn’t lose face on that challenge. she can’t bench press elisa, and that girl weights less than my pen! i reckon he used his powers so later he could use his powers.

dog person, and so playful he’s actually one! hence, half werewolf!

doesn’t like cats and will eat them if one comes near him.

‘lucas’

his sexual magnetism. every lucas stan says the same things about him, even though the game canonically doesn’t give us as much. “kinky” “best at sex” “sexy as fuck” “would kill a man that came near us” “the most volatile” even though none of those has ever happened. he’s hypnotising us through sex!

his kiss is undeniably sexy, and described as unique and hot. gary’s is alien (so it’s new and different) but vampires are known for seducing and enticing, and that’s what lucas does at all times

we saved him, even after he brought a girl back. face it! we’re under his spell!

once, i researched how much the islanders make with their occupations, and found out lucas makes less money than bobby. how come he has his own place, so many quality products, expensive brand clothes, unless... he’s been working since ever to accumulate such fortune!?

he says he was a school brat and that’s why he didn’t know what a pillow fort was. THAT’S A LIE TO COVER UP THE FACT HE’S SO OLD HE DOESN’T EVEN REMEMBER IF HE’D EVER BUILT ONE, MY DUDE!

why is he so good in bed having such a low bodycount? because he’s had at least three human wives that died on him!! and that’s why he has trust issues.

do you ever see lucas eating???? do you????? no! gary eats constantly, and lucas doesn’t want you to kiss him after breakfast. “it’s rough.” i’ll tell you what’s rought: lucas feeling sick about food, not you after eating!

lucas’ shirt ios honestly a giveaway. there’s so much sunblock you can put on before it gets suspicious, so that’s why he doesn’t take his shirt off!

cat person!!

‘lottie’

pale.

irritable because she forgot to pack her blood supply.

calls herself lottie but truly only responds to charlotte. her master knows this is the only name she goes as.

out of fucking nowhere she has a cape. the only one that probably threatened the producers’ physical integrity to have another piece of clothing, and from all possibilities, she got a BLACK TRANSLUCENT CAPE??? VAMPIRE!! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

only thinks of sex, and not emotional connections.

doesn’t mention anyone by name, except for her pet tarantula and a “billy”, who no onE knows WHO they are, except they’re a close mate. that’s her master!!

bisexual. (that’s already reason enough, but whatever)

connects so easily with hannah because book girl reminds her of a simpler time in her own life, when she was running through meadows in search of flowers, b before she was turned!!

cat person!!!!!!!!!!

‘kassam’

he’s a vampire and you’re descending from a slayer lineage, and that’s why he rejects you all the time!! he’s not a unicorn, he’s a bloodsucker of the worst family in england!! (it has to the that, right?? nothing to do with our personality, it’s the vampire slayer thing!!)

hates dogs, don’t at me! look at him and tell me this motherfucker is a dog person. nope!

involuntarily hates felix because the boy is a puppy! a canine! a dog! one of the enemy clans!

‘carl’

he’s always in that ridiculous position because he’s protecting his chest, my dude!! he doesn’t want his heart to turn into a corndog, and that’s why he be cramping but won’t lower those hands!

the first time you have sex, he’s behind you. he needed to conceal his red eyes from his excitement while having sex with you!

doesn’t - know - how - to - emote. he’s new vampire so he’s still not used to this life and how to deal with humans, my friend!

the bags under his eyes prove he hasn’t fed in a while. that’s why he goes missing on one of the afternoons! banner shmanner! he was feeding on one of the production crew!

notice how clueless and awkward he’s during the day, but relaxed and confident he is at night! he’s struggling to keep himself together under the sun, but once the moon is out, so is confident carl!

cat - person - don’t - at - me!!

‘henrik’

pale.

long hair.

smells amazing even though he sweats like a pig, no matter what the situation is?? that sounds like extra pheromones to me! he’s enchanting us with the scent of lavender, that’s so calming, so he can intoxicate us and bite us before we notice!

he HAD to give pupperino back! because his clan of vampires forbid him of having a friendship with the canines! hello!

he was upset because he believes vampires and werewolves can live with each other!

always outdoors? in the middle of nowhere??? an actual instructor of how to survive in the wilderness, yet so young?!?! that’s because he’s the predator, people!

‘noah’

who knows so much about literature if someone who actually has been alive for so much longer??

the guy works in a library, away from the modern world commotion and noise.

he likes staying close to the books not because of the objects they are, but because he can still remember the time they were written by his fellow writers! he feels an emotional connection with the books because he presenced the birth of them and knows the true hardship it was to lose those companions!

only a vampire to not have found love but experimented and known lust! this is why he has to have you, on the roof terrace. he can’t deny himself of the need of having you any longer. he’d never experienced that sort of craving, and now he finally knows what love is!

romford is the last place people go! why is he still living there?? unless is to hide his true nature!

he didn’t do shit and still got us simping? HELLO! VAMPIRE! full of tricks, i tell you! why else would we be melting over a guy that only glances at our direction?!!?

no toxic masculinity? vampires have lived enough to see where that takes ya!

man, i had too much fun doing these! sorry for taking so long, i was struggling a bit with my pain.

#litg carl #litg lucas #litg gary #litg noah #litg kassam #litg henrik #litg #love island the game #love island the game season 2 #litg s2 #litg season 2 #fusebox #fusebox games #queue #vampires #yum #tw: blood

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00gangfriend00 · 4 years

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I was tagged by @jade-marie and @bourbon-ontherocks to list my top 10 books fics I read in 2020.

and lemme tell you..

i’ve been WAITIN’ for this one!!

This IS a bit tricky because I spent most of 2020 just lurking on AO3, no acccount, no commenting, no kudos. so there are just so so so many fics that I remember pieces of, and have little headcanons that LIVE with me but I have no idea who the author is or what the fic is called.

so.. that being said, the top 10 is ever changing and could never be fully complete. I just love every author and every fic, you are all so wildly talented.

❤ a song inside the halls of the dark - ms_scarlet (@mego42 )

This fic has everything!! a sexy ex-lover rival gang leader, relaxed rio, angry rio, angsty kitchen sex rio. LOFT rio. AND it’s my favourite post-S2 reckoning of all time. There are moments in this fic that I just want to SPAM the gg writing room with. like scrap ur plans. DO. THIS. Overall, this is such a creative and well-written series. The characterization is superb, the smut has.... so many feelings, and the angst is AMAZING. There are a couple chapters (I wont give spoilers) that involves Beth in a hotel in Canada that I legit could not stop reading. it’s just all... so damn GOOD. favourite line: You thought I could be something, right? Well, this is that something. The bitch you trained bit back.

❤ we’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks - BourbonOnTheRocks (@bourbon-ontherocks)

Whew! this fic has EVERYTHING. safe house brio. KARMA. brio ignoring each other. snippy, cranky brio. baking shows. mick overhearing loud shower sex. zero communication. brio getting high and giggling! all the feelings. I looooove this fic. like I LOVE it. it's so creative and it feels so real!! I can play it like a movie in my head. There is so much fun smutty build up, so much tension, anxiety and a very, very, good Thaw Of Feelings which is my fav. I will forever have a soft spot for safe house fics, but this one hilariously twists the trope by doubling down on their idiot stubbornness. genius. favourite line: He's using her and she's using him. Maybe it's the only thing they're truly equal at.

❤ my girl - elizabethmarks (not on tumblr?)

This fic has everything!!!!!!! (but TW that everything is not for everyone, as the plot primarily revoles around a rape scene.) This fic sets up some of the most soft, emotional, protective brio moments. I also adore how this author handles the delicate subject matter. I work from time to time as a crisis advcate for women and ...... this fic is so accurate and well written. All the emotions beth feels, the way rio reacts to her. everything. I have read this SO many times. It also inludes a Mick POV that will TUG at your HEART. favourite line: *When on route to Rio’s loft* Rio nods, with that gentle look he has. "Alright, mama. Let's get you home." There's a beat, they both catch it, but neither of them make the correction.

❤ working on things - odenkirk (not on tumblr?)

THIS fic, now this fic has everything!!!!!!!!! masturbation! sexting! weed-smokin horny rio! DEAN?!??! in a way that didnt repulse me???? SEX. kinda threesome??? a heck of a lot of things that I didnt think id be into but then read it and was like HUH, guess i AM. and last but not least, deliciously perfect characterization. This is a fic I ask you to take a risk on. It will pay off. Its fun and oooh soooooooo sexy. Yes, dean goes to pound town too, but I promise- odenkirk makes it WORK. Blush meter: off the charts. I had to put my phone down and reckon with Jesus. favourite line: Rio: Don't get precious, sweetheart. It's you cuz it's you. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

❤ miles before you sleep - FakePlastikTrees (@nakedmonkey)

THIS AUTHOR has EVERYTHING! FakePlastikTrees is one of those authors where... I read one fic - then buckled my seatbelt and clicked on her account so I could systematically read through every. single. fic. They are often short scenes that feel so true. Her Rio characterization makes me green with (benevolent) envy. and her smut?? oof. top notch. This fic in particular lives in my heart because it really truly feels like a missing GG scene between Beth and our favourite tattooed babysitter. The atmosphere is tangible and the author slows time down for these two, it stretches out like you are smokin in the suburbs with them. I love a MickFic and this one is top tier.

favourite line: “Oh come on. He’s a little unhinged.” “Takes one to know one.”

❤ people can be so cold - s_t_c_s (@sothischickshe)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh this fic has EVERYTHING. scrabble competitiveness! annie speaking truths! christmas beth! christmas rio?!?! delicious bickering! CABIN isolation! gift giving perfection! I could go on and on and on. This fic just pulls you straight in. stcs crafts the timeline so effortlessly, and weaves it with so many endearing and authentic feeling details (beth has her own ‘guys’ now, and we know this bc she gives them sweets and food. OF COURSE) The longing between her and rio is so RICH. if you want your heart to swell a million sizes - this is the fic for you. favourite line: They hadn’t – been intimate yet, back when she got him arrested, or the first few times he’d shoved a gun in her face. And the sexual part had been all done and dusted prior to their, god, kidnapping and shooting fiasco. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t present throughout – a hovering spectre, forming a treacherous spine through all their endeavours.

❤ listening through the air shaft - ms_scarlet (@mego42)

now this fic. actually for real, has everything. because its every POV you never knew you NEEDED. and mego42 absolutely nails each and every one. especially Dean. Its a complicated look into his blubbering sexist mind, and misguided fixations that is really well-written. The way in which brio has their own arc throughout the chapters, but told through the eyes of those around them - is amazing. this fic just makes you love every character even MORE. favourite line: well.. annie, mick and ruby have a group chat and thats all you need to know. anytime that comes up = favourite line.

❤ instigator - nomind (@inyoursheets)

be still my bisexual heart. this fic has everyONE! Yes, this fic dissolves into perfect threesome smut BUT before you get there, you get this awesome set up of a dangerous-feeling connection between Rhea and Beth. They are honest, open and fully acknowledging the fuckedupness of their desire. For how small a part Rhea has in the show - this author NAILS her voice, it’s uncanny. Both of them talking about rio? sign me up. Rio coming home to it? sign me UP. favourite line: “Jesus,” she hears behind her. “What am I looking at right now?” Rhea smiles down on her, ignoring him, running her fingers through Beth’s hair.

** shout out to another be-still-my-bi-heart fic : @sothischickshe’s “its a dirty, dirty, game”

❤ do not pass go - linzackles @mrslackles

this. fic. has. every. thing. I am currently putting every single important thing in my life on hold to PLOUGH through this series. like full speed ahead. UGH. marcus!!! beth and rio at an event! a fancy one! big bad business dudes! betrayal! beth making bad choices! rio unable to fully communicate the weight of his desire for her! angst! just excellent, excellent, excellent plots. i like everything!!!!! favourite line: truly impossible. they are all art. but this one made me cackle. Shrugging, she responds. In the bathroom, eating nuts.Annie’s reply comes through instantly. Rio’s???????

❤ meet me under the mistletoe - sdktrs12 (@sdktrs12)

this fic.... has.... everything. I want to include this not only because I loooOoOOOved it, but also because this author just has a talent for creating holiday themed brio fics that are not in the slightest cheesy, or forced. which is... hard! to! do! I read her halloween series while in quarantine, and it became apart of my little daily routine. each fic containing at least one moment that made me go AHHH these two!!!!! so in short - thanks for infusing all my holidays with stellar brio. then christmas comes around and she nails it again! beth and rio begrudgingly working late? YES. they migh each have a date but they dont DARE talk abut their jealously? YES. Bourbon as a third character? haha YES! Beth looking smokin hot? YES. favourite line: “Is that your move? Meet me under the mistletoe?” “Oh baby, you know my moves.”

and PHEW. there ya go!

Thank you amazing fanfic authors for making my year 10000000% better.

I TAG @whiskeyjack @purplemagic @sdktrs12 @joeyjoeylee @ama-ssiempre @roxy206

#favfics #nbc goodgirls #good girls fic #good girls fandom #top10fics

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chlcrine · 4 years

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( courtney eaton / demi girl ) LUNDY VICENTE is 22 years old and is a JUNIOR at thales university. SHE is majoring in WOMEN’S STUDIES and is known for being THE JAILBIRD as HER can be RESILIENT and SCHEMING as well as HOTHEADED and AGGRESSIVE. every time i see HER, SHE reminds me of THE DEEP END OF A SWIMMING POOL, TITLEFIGHT LYRICS, SLEEPING ON A FULL SIZED MATTRESS. ( amanda / 23 / she/her / mst )

hey guys its amanda the raven mun. like this to validate me thanks *winks*

NAME: lundy b vicente AGE: 22 BIRTH DATE: november 19th 1998 ZODIAC: sagittarius sun, leo moon SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual / biromantic FINANCIAL CLASS: lower HOMETOWN: kissimmee, florida EDUCATION LEVEL: junior studying women’s studies FACE CLAIM: courtney eaton ADDICTION(S): nicotine DRUG USE: frequent ALCOHOL USE: frequent POSITIVE TRAITS: self-reliant, confident, risk-taking NEGATIVE TRAITS: vulgar, violent, selfish

BACKGROUND - triggers: prostitution, child neglect, incarceration

as she would put it, lundy was born to a crackwhore mom and never knew her dad. the earliest years of her life were certainly happy, allbeit delusionally so. by the age of five the girl had the local streets memorized, running rampant with her friends through parking lots and swimming in motel pools. while her mother used alternative means to earn money and occupied their single bedroom with the company many suitors, young lundy became independent, and aware of the harsh realities of the real world on her own.

before long, cps caught word of the less than ideal living conditions that the child was living in, and got involved. ultimately she ended up in the foster system after a brutal custody battle between her mother and the state.

though she lived in a variety of homes around the state of florida, some good, some not so good, lundy ended up stuck in a home for troubled girls. the system threatened to chew her up and spit her back out, but self-reliance had made her testy around authority figures.

her thirteenth birthday was spent during the first of many bouts in juveinial detention, but she took to the facility well. like a school she reined over, lundy actually found herself getting into trouble just so she could return. the highlights of her teen years mostly consisted of fighting, fucking, and making the other kids in juvy all around just as miserable as she was.

once she turned eighteen, lundy was contacted by her father’s family. he lived in virginia, and offered her a place to stay as she tried to “get back on her feet”, seeing how he himself had done some time and knew the feeling. it didn’t take long for lundy to decide that family life wasn’t for her, so she began applying to colleges in hopes to live on campus.

PERSONALITY - triggers: violence

it should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with lundy that she was kicked out of her most recent housing situation over the summer. the police were called after a neighbor reported a domestic disturbance, only to find that lundy had beaten one of her roommates bloody and blacked out. though she claims she had a reason --- he was creepy! the feds didn’t give much of a shit about that, and there is a pending court case. she is also living with her dad again, working to repay him for her bail fund, and waiting to be contacted further. she most certainly should NOT be indulding in partying, or any reckless sort of behavior, but that goes against her very identity.

when you actually have lundy on your side, she’s a force to be reckoned with. ride or die, type of person, but she struggles to find people who actually wish to become close enough to her for that. at this point, it doesn’t bother her that others find her offputing. her sense of humor is an acquired taste, and she’ll certainly say what’s on her mind, but perhaps that may seem refreshing? to some people? maybe?

lundy is rather loud, just when she speaks, and LOVES digging into other people’s business. she is incredibly impulsive and will always support bad decisions. she’s deliberate, though never planned, and tactless. the type to hurt your feelings on accident AND on purpose, depending on the day. in general, she is silly. a maniac really

RANDOM SHIT

she plays bass. picked it up whens he moved to virginia. she’s just a rock chick!

proud marxist but i don’t recommend bring it up to her. she’s been kicked out of many classes due to this

as far as gender goes, lundy has always felt “female enough” but certainly has a more adrogynous energy about her. wears a lot of baggy clothes and backwards hats. has been called a lesbian since before she can remember, but kind of took on that persona and made her something she’s proud of

sleeps most comfortably in small spaces. prefers her full sized mattress to anything bigger

constantly makes the jacking off motion when other people are talking

has this love you tattoo on her hairline a la her at the time girlfriend and this tattoo on her hand

loves a good video game session (aka not talking to anyone for 72 hours unless it’s through playstation)

loves a good handwritten letter, will even get romantic about it sometimes

likes fucking menthol cigarettes

always leaving the house with her hair wet like girl why???????? also loves to swim

had a gay boyfriend once. the only boyfriend she ever had. it lasted like a week asdfsdf

based on: young aleida ( oitnb ), moonee ( the florida project ), spinelli ( recess ), jayden ( short term 12 ), donna ( that 70s show )

WANTED CONNECTIONS

a band?????? this is so so so up for whatever ideas anyone else has but she’s definitely always wanted to be in a band and has the charisma for it. need anyone else who plays an instrument other than bass or sings

half siblings???????? they would have to be at least half white, because her dad is white.

exes ?? (f/nb) of literally any sort. she was probably a very fleetingly romantic gf. she’d be like here is a love note i made u but also we’re breaking up tomorrow.

someone she’s beat up?????????

honestly i can’t think of anything all that specific anymore my brain always runs out of juice at the fucking end of writing intros like this. i really just want literally any connection dude hit that mf LIKE button

#pyrrhic.intro #here we go boys two or three hours later asdfasdf #no proofread we die like men

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freemanverse-casualcomp-au · 4 years

Text

Just A Normal Day at Your Neighborhood Arcade

AKA when your local neighborhood arcade is unknowingly also a place where two infamous legends meet up to play against each other.

Also why they’re HOT?!

His name is Gerald, and today is his first day working at a local neighbourhood arcade on New Mexico. He’s working as a part-timer worker with pretty decent pay, which is rare these days. His day duty is also quite simple; overwatch the place and make sure the visitors don’t cause much trouble while playing.

Seems simple enough, he thought, eyeing the nearly empty arcade. Today will be one peaceful day, huh…

“Hi there, Johnson!” One of his co-workers, Jason, waving at him while passing by his station, one of his hands carrying a red toolbox. He waved back at him, eyes lazily scanning the area around the mechanic as he stopped and put down the box beside some large arcade machines for Tekken 7.”Good luck on your first day here, I’d reckon you might need it.”

“What are you up to, Jay?” Gerald half-shouted, earning a glance from the mechanic.

Jason loudly hummed, eyes shifting back at the machine he’s working at. “Re-checking these fighting game machines so their performances on tip-top shape when both of them using them.” He answered the part-timer’s question, a small chuckle escaped from his lips. “Those two won’t stop nagging me if the controllers have a slight delay on them.”

Gerald raised one of his eyebrows. “Those two? Who?”

“Ah, well-”

“-and y’know how Chell is when she’s very determined, so she kept her distance to Gladys less than a meter, basically gluein’ herself to our cold albino queen!”

“Darn, that reminds me of when Alyx trying to get Hawk to smile, but most of her attempts failed and-”

The part-timer’s head turned to the source of the new voices that came from the front entrance. A massive-looking brunette-haired man with a black hooded suit and coat pants with an orange-coloured tie was talking to his slightly shorter companion, a lighter and slightly longer length brunette-haired man with a red plaid flannel shirt with the sleeve rolled to the elbow and paired with a pair of blue denim jeans and a black newsboy cap.

They definitely not looked like somebody that play in an arcade, one is too formal-looking and other looks like one of those farmboy helpers.

“Oh, welcome back, both of you!” Jason chirped, eyes still focusing on the machines. “How’s the last week’s match? Who won?”

The plaid flannel man pointed at the hooded suit man. “Gords beat ‘em up, and I got the second place.”

The mechanic heartily laughed. “Of course he is, as expected from North America’s Tekken legend.”

Gerald’s ears perked up. “These guys are famous?”

“Oh, I’m not really.” The hooded suit man shrugged, then nudged the plaid flannel man. “But this man over here was one of the youngest and most renowned archaeologists at the age of fifteen years old, now working as an archaeology major sub-teacher at Michigan State University and also a pro gamer.”

The plaid flannel man stuttered for a second before he got a grip. “A-anyway, we’re trainin’ together again for Tekken World Tour later,” he paused for a bit, his expression now a bit apologetic, “we’re sorry for last month, our friends got a bit...wild…”

Jason laughed out loud. “Don’t worry, your bosses paid more than the damage cost and now we got additions of a Japanese retro puzzle arcade and a racing car arcade.” He briefly shifted his eyes again, now at the two men while smiling softly. “I don’t mind both your friends’ vicious battle last month. In fact, it’s been a while since this arcade got that much rowdy and the visitors were enjoying their rivalry.”

The hooded suit man huffed out in relief. “Oh thank you, they’re feral children, alright.”

“Uhhhh, I’m sorry to disturb your conversation, but who are you both?” Gerald raised his voice, getting the two men’s attention. Both men went silent, before practically sprinting towards him, eyes sparkling with delight.

“We haven’t introduced ourselves yet, so of course you don’t know!” The hooded suit man started to flaunt a bit. “The name’s Gordon Freeman, but call me Antoine, honey bee~” He winked his green eyes at the part-timer, making his face heat up.

OH GOD, HIS GAY SOUL IS SCREAMING TO HUG HIM-

“And don’t take your eyes off me there, good-lookin’” The plaid flannel man tilted his chin with his finger to meet his bluish-green eyes, he could see the man’s smirk widened a bit as he tipped his cap down a bit, “the name’s Johnny Grady, nice to meet you too, pardner.”

Gerald immediately backed down from his station, stuttering badly as he covered his reddened face with both palms.

Goddamn, he’d already met two hot dudes on his first day already? What kind of fever dream he’s in now?

“Both of you, can both of you don’t flirt with the new staff, please?” Both men paused and looked behind them, Jason scoffed as if he’s disappointed. “Because of you both, the last one resigned because he questioned his sexuality so much after you both flirting with him so much. The last time I saw him after that, he’s waving a bisexual flag at the local pride fair.”

The part-timer slowly raised his hand. “I’m gay, though.”

Both men quickly turned their head at him, eyes widening for a while before grinning to each other. He could hear the mechanic’s loud sigh from his position. “...fine, but don’t overwhelm him.”

All of the sudden, he got hit by both men’s flirt attempts, each one managed to steal his heart bit by bit. His inner self slowly dying from all the hits it took and finally passed out as his outer self curled himself into a ball on the floor, his whole face was as red as a beet. Although he didn’t see them, he could see the piercing gaze, thirst for more flirting attempts, but his co-worker’s loud whistle stopped the gaze.

“Once again, please don’t overwhelm the poor boy!” Jason’s tone took more of a disappointed parent as he scolded both men. “Now look at what you did, he’s overheating! Leave him alone for a moment and go play here. I’ve placed an adapter for your console, Grady.”

“Goddamn, Jason. Thanks for your service!” And with that, the men walked away from his station. He was lying on the floor for several minutes, accompanied by both men’s excited gasps and shouts as Tekken 7’s arcade noises playing in the background.

It took him most of his willpower to get up and observe the men playing. At first, he wasn’t interested in any of things they’re playing, but as time passes, he focused on the notebooks they’ve brought with them as they scribbling down combos or put down characters’ key weaknesses and how to cover them. Over time, they watched some videos of the previous tournament and listing out strats for their foes. Though they’re also listed things about each other, there wasn’t any kind of bitterness feelings between them. In fact, he could categorize them as friendly rivals.

It’s been a while since he witnessed this kind of rivalry.

“You’re okay now?” Jason’s sudden voice startled him a lot, almost make him scream, but his common sense managed to get ahold of his composure. The part-timer nodded in response. “Good looks like they’re going to take their leave.” The mechanic pats his back. “Great job at handling their flirts for the first time, most employees’ responses were either faint or having an existential crisis.”

Ah, is that so…

he couldn’t blame them, their flirts were indeed that powerful.

“They’re both pro players from different org.” He pointed at the hooded suit man- or Antoine, he recalled. “That man is known as The Player in Hooded Suit, GorgeousMan from Black Mesa. He’s one of some North American players legend who got acknowledged by overseas players.” He then shifted his finger to the plaid flannel man- or Johnny. “As for him, he’s also known as The Wild Card Player, Rick from Aperture Games. Like Freeman, Grady’s got history to always score on minimal Top 8 or above that.” He lowered his hand, a smile still plastered on his face. “I’m proud to have them playing in this arcade.”

“Sounds like they’re a great person…” Jason slightly nodded, agreeing.

Few minutes later, both men were done packing their things and starting to head out, but not before Antoine once again winked and Johnny finger-gunned, both towards him. His heart fluttered, not as much as before, but it’s enough to warm his heart. He waved at them and they waved back at him with smiles plastered on their face.

Ah shit, he couldn’t leave from this job now, he’s fallen for two dudes he’d just met...

#daily story of freemans #GorgeousMan #Rick

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the-angry-pixie · 5 years

Text

camboy AU... but make it romantic

Camboy Bill AU feat. the OT7.

- basic stuff really

- Bill is a camboy (billoncam) on those websites that I don’t know enough about to be able to give a name.

- and he does sessions every few days in private chatrooms

- mostly solo stuff - either a vibrator or dildo in his ass whilst jacking it to the camera

- his fans love him because he is really chatty and responsive. and when he gets really turned on, he stutters. he always moans and thanks the person when someone sends him a tip - its like the tip button is directly connected to his vibrator, the way he moans every time it *dings*

- he has regulars. people who always seem to tune in and leave lots of tips. he comes to recognise their usernames.

- “welcome mikey-mike. i hope you’re having a good week.”

- “its good to see you again bigdickrich, what filthy things are you gonna say to me today?”

- stuff like that.

- he holds competitions among viewers - whoever gives him the most tips in a session gets to choose a name for him to call out when he cums

- as a result billoncam ends up moaning out “oh fuck carsforeddie! oh fuck you feel so good carsforeddie! oh fuck OH FUCK!” a lot.

- like previously stated, he’s known for his highly interactive solo stuff but every now and then his audience gets a guest appearance from other people. it always seems to be the same guys but we never get to see their faces

- one has lovely golden skin that matches his golden curls that Bill loves to grab onto when he’s fucking him

- the other is this buff dude with dark blonde body hair that makes the most delicious sounds when he’s railing Bill

- thats right, billoncam be versatile as fuck

- even more versatile than first anticipated because one time during a session Bill is holding a photo on his phone up to show the camera and he accidentally swipes to the next photo which is of some redhead woman lying on a bed in lingerie

- the comment section goes wild and Bill is like “oh fuck, oh fuck you weren’t meant to see that, ah ha ha ha lets forget that happened pls” and he goes on with the session. trying to ignore all the questions hounding him about who the fuck that was and why was she on his bed??

- two days later when billoncam is next scheduled to cam it is immediately obvious that things are very different when the session starts on a shot of Bill sitting fully-clothed talking straight to camera

- “thanks for tuning in everyone. I just felt I wanted to do something a bit different today. There’s been lots of discussion and questions about what happened the other day and I’ve thought about it a lot and have decided that I would like to be honest with you. This is a part of who I am and I don’t want to feel ashamed of that. So the truth is... I’m bisexual. And this...”

- Bill holds up his phone showing a photo of Bill and the redhead from the lingerie photo hugging each other and smiling giddily at the camera

- “... this is Bev. She’s my girlfriend.”

- again, the comment section goes wild. Obviously Bill has been camming himself on a website for gay men and well... gays can still be mean and weird sometimes when it comes to bisexuality.

- “I know. I know. It’s not what you’ve come to expect from me. I’m sorry if you’re offended or something. Well actually I’m not sorry at all. I would never be sorry for being in love with Bev. She’s my rock. We’ve been together for so long and she means the world to me. And the only reason I’m showing her face on here is because she’s given me full permission. In fact she has her own camming channel. Which I can link you to if there are any fellow bi’s out there.”

- Because the internet is the internet, Bill notices he’s losing viewers quickly, but he’s kind of happy to note that some of his regulars are among the ones being super supportive

- sitonthis: you’re not really gay. get the fuckk outta here!

mikey-mike: thanks for being honest with us Bill. I’m bi too and some people on here need to be quiet and stop being rude.

erotic-cum-on-my-hole: where’s the dick??

bigdickrich: daaaaaaaaaaamn Bill. she’s fuckign hot! gimme dat link please >______>

br000ny: sick of these bi s trickin on us. im out.

carsforeddie: YO EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE BILL ALOONE!@! WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO DATE BILL?! HE’S FUCKING GORGEOUS AND PERFECT!! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ALL NEED TO MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT RIGHT THE FUCK NNOW!!e@!

- but it doesn’t stop there. Bill has more to tell. He doesn’t get naked at all that session. But he does come clean about being polyamorous. Apparently Bill and Bev were together for years before she started dating Ben. Who then eventually started dating Bill as well (mystery solved on who buff dude is). And then a little while after that Bill started dating Stan who also began dating everyone else eventually (mystery number two solved on who golden curls is)

- of course to respect privacy Bill doesn’t give names or photos for those two (they’re not into camming and only ever fuck Bill on cam as a favour cause they know Bill loves it so much). But he does wax poetic for a further half an hour on just how much he loves all his partners and then unexpectedly signs off.

- billoncam disappears for awhile. his sessions just suddenly stop. his fans reckon its probably got to do with the negative response he got to coming out as bi.

- they try to reach out to him on his social media but never with any luck. its funny, billoncam’s sessions have weirdly become a bit of community thing. its strange. the regulars all kind of know each other and it feels wrong to not be coming all together (pun not intended) a few times a week on Bill’s channel. but whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore because it seems billoncam is no more. he’s been scared away.

- struggling radio personality Richie Tozier is definitely not expecting to run into Bill aka. billoncam in a random Los Angeles Starbucks one day. But he does. Thats him. That’s totally fucking him. The only way Richie could be more sure is if Bill whipped his junk out in the middle of this cafe.

- Richie is so stunned he can’t even think what to say. How to approach this guy that he has been jacking off to for the last year or so.

- He ends up chasing Bill down the street and kind of pouncing on him.

- Bill is understandably wary at first. But of course he’s kind of charmed by this nervous motormouth with his ridiculously syrupy-looking frappuccino concoction. Its strange how familiar he seems. He almost whispers the name to himself just as Richie practically yells “Oh by the way. I’m bigdickrich. Did I mention that? I might have forgotten to mention that. Fuck!”

- And well, a week or two later... billoncam makes a comeback suddenly.

- And he’s got a companion. A companion who is showing his face. Bill’s regulars know they definitely haven’t seen this guy (or his body) before but they don’t mind at all since the session is so much more intense because they can see both participants for once. And this new guy is very cute. In a hairy, gangly, bedraggled kind of way.

- Bill introduces the guy as his new friend. He says his new friend convinced him to come back online. And his new friend even gave permission for their first time together to be filmed live.

- New Friend’s eyebrows wiggle at the camera behind his thick dark-framed glasses

- this sends a thrill through the audience obviously. such an intimate thing that theyre witnessing. New Friend doesnt seem to mind though. In fact he seems to lap up the attention and is very willing to take suggestions from the audience of just what he should do to Bill.

- the vibrator and dildo remain untouched on the bed that day.

- and its right at the end, still panting and sweating and coming down from their highs that Bill mentions that his New Friend is a previous audience member.

- “some of you might recognise the username. This is bigdickrich. Sooo... I guess we now know he wasn’t exaggerating with that name ha ha” to which Richie just grins at the camera holding his hands up under his chin.

- the comment section goes BONKERS!

- carsforeddie: THAT ANNOYING CRUDE SON OF A BITCH!! WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THE UNIVERSE SO UNFAIR! FUCK!”

mikey-mike: good for you bigdickrich. you’re a real lucky guy.

twinksfordays: i want to choke on bigdickrich’s cock

carsforeddie: HOW?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! EW I JUST JACKED IT TO THAT ASSHOLE! FUCK I NEED TO SHOWER”

- Bill and Richie giggle and converse with the commenters for awhile and then sign off.

- billoncam returns to regularly camming again. much the way he was before. mostly solo. though sometimes with guest stars. and Richie becomes a more and more frequent feature. He’s the only one (besides Bev popping in now and then) who shows his face.

- and then, billoncam hits 100,000 subscribers

- and Bill. Well he has to make it special right? So he auctions himself off. There has to be some careful wording and labelling so that he can’t be done for prostitution but... essentially Bill auctions off the chance for him to travel and spend the night with the highest bidder.

- of course carsforeddie is not going to let this opportunity slide by him. He’s a successful businessman. He might only be 25 but he’s got money to burn and he’s been loving lusting after billoncam for a LONG TIME

- its undisclosed just how much Eddie Kaspbrak, luxury car rental business owner ends up paying for billoncam to fly to New York and spend the night with him - for legal reasons obviously. And no, Eddie does not give permission for the deed to be filmed.

- But! Its perfectly legal to say that the 2nd time Bill fucks Eddie - the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th and the 6th and all the times that follow - are done completely for free!

- Ben jokes to Richie privately about them going to need to move into a bigger house if Bill keeps adding people to this relationship.

- It becomes less of a joke and more of a reality as Eddie moves permanently to Los Angeles 6 months (and lots of trips to LA) later.

- And thats it. Theyre nearly there. There’s just one more thing missing. One more piece to the puzzle. Bill doesn’t know why he feels this way. He just does.

- Luckily Mike Hanlon (aka as mikey-mike) has been unknowingly working away on this very thing for months. Not that he would have dared to assume that anything would happen when he slid into billoncam’s DM’s 18 months ago.

- He’s just a country boy from bumfuck nowhere. There’s no reality in this universe where he and the likes of billoncam would ever cross paths. But he enjoys talking to him. They have a lot of laughs. And Bill is surprisingly sweet and very well spoken. They like a lot of the same things. The same literature, the same sports teams. Bill is always asking after the animals on Mike’s family’s farm. Mike wishes he could get to know him better.

- Bill wants the same thing. He’d give anything to meet the sweet-souled farmboy from Maine who brightens Bill’s day whenever he gets a new message from him. I mean, it helps that he’s also gorgeous with the most wonderful smile, but thats beside the point.

- Bill ends up putting his money where his mouth is. Just enough to buy a return plane ticket to LA, so that Mike can come visit him, and cover the cost of a hotel room (ya know, in case he doesn’t want to stay with Bill and the rest of them. Bill would never want to make him uncomfortable).

- Needless to say Mike fits right into the family almost immediately.

- its a couple of months later and billoncam still exists, but its like a relic now. Bill pours all his creative energy into his new channel “the-lucky-seven”. Its a channel shared by everyone and its outrageously popular. Sure there are still a few individuals who are too shy or anxious to show their faces but the audience doesn’t seem to care. There’s so much variety to be found on the channel. Different combinations of people doing a live cam nearly every second day.

- they’re all unapologetic, they all love each other, and they don’t mind sharing it with the world.

- :) :) :) :) B) :) :)

----

Did I really just write a romance story about camming? Why yes, I think I did. Ha Ha. Hope you enjoyed. :)

#sorry - you were probably expecting more smut #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i do what i can #i was inspired and so i HCed #poly losers club #the losers club #pixie writes #pixie headcanons #IT movie #notsfw

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spiltscribbles · 5 years

Text

Quiet Things

Alex doesn’t get jealous.

It’s just not a thing that he does, has never thought it worth while. For a majority of his life he was too busy with school and Lacrosse and plotting out his eventual path to the presidency, to ever even fathom caring too terribly if the girl he was seeing was flirting with some other guy, or was being flirted with. Besides, it’s not his place to get all angry about it. If she liked him more than Alex, well he had no right to interfere in that, there’s something called free fucking will.

“Nah, ’S because you’re too obsessed with yourself,” Nora had told him three weeks after their first break up in that somewhat snide tone of voice that she can pull out as effortlessly as her future professor monotone.

“Slanderous,” Alex had sniffed before taking a huge ass bite out his burrito— thank God that Chipotle’s a national commodity now, which means they could stuff themselves silly before the second national debate .

“Accurate my friend,” Nora had retorted with a clucking of her tongue, stealing his side order of chips and queso while Alex was to busy glaring a hole through the glossy photograph of Prince Henry of Wales that’s the front cover of Vogue Italiano’s newest spread. “You’ll always love yourself most.”

“Well yeah babe, I’m the only one who could appreciate me in all the right ways.”

“The only one who can stand you for longer than an hour you mean?”

Alex had pouted, teasingly, and Nora had laughed, adoringly, and neither of them really took it to heart. It was a bit of a quirk, his self absorption that is. Nora and June had noted it fondly for an eon, it wasn’t some new revelation.

Though What was n entirely new revelation was how only a few short years later, Alex fell head first for the fucking pretentious— not actually pretentious— prince of Wales, realizing he was definitely bisexual all along, and being forcefully outted by the old fuck trying to oust his mother from the oval office before her destined eight years are up. All in that order.

God have times changed.

Alex supposes that it’s only right that amidst all of that, he also changed along the way, that he found a guy— a literal Prince amongst men— that makes his heart thud out an uneven staccato with every glance. Someone who makes it so Alex’s ADHD wired brain goes still, goes hyper focussed on him. On Henry’s pretty pale eyes and lovely thin lips and the way one corner of his mouth tugs upwards before the other every time he smiles. He found a guy who he chooses every day to spend his forever with, the first person that makes his knees go weak and the first person that Alex admits is probably his only match. Found the guy he loves more than any other— His person, the one he’d give up the world to be with. The guy who makes his analytical mind shut off in favor for the idea that in all probability soulmates can exist…? And if so, Henry’s more than probably his.

All this to say, Alex now gets it when June— his delightfully neurotic sister— starts asking him a thousand times over if she looks okay in whichever dress she’s got on after she sees an Instagram post with Pez, forever adventuring a new part of the world, tagging a different girl, or when Nora doesn’t realize she’s being flirted with at her new internship at the Brookings Institute by another grad student. “Just cause I fuck dudes now doesn’t mean I suddenly get what’s trendy~” “You’re fucking one dude and only one dude.” “I think you just proved my point?”)

Suddenly Alex wishes June were here, even in all her craziness, at least then he could have an honest analysis on what’s playing out right in front of him, in the middle of fucking douchebag Phillip’s birthday party. Just there, out in public, right next to the table holding up the thirty four thousand dollar cake. And oh! Look! The fucking gross ass prick just snuck a finger to lick off some of the frosting!

Desecrating stupidly expensive desserts is there thing damn it!

The aforementioned prick is all high cheekbones and long lashes and such big brown eyes. He’s Hassan Nair, “Call me Haz.” No Alex will fucking not, thank you very much.

The prick, as Alex will be referring to him here forth, is the son of some Dubai business magnate, worth probable billions and is so sickeningly pretty that Alex would feel bad if he wasn’t dating the literal prettiest man alive, he’s kinda accustomed with not being exactly the hottest guy in a room. But fucking prick boy must concede the point if the way he’s been gazing down at henry since this shindig has begun is anything to go by, and Jesus Christ, is it actually fair that he’s like half a foot taller than Alex too! No it’s not! None of this is fair!

Alright, okay. This is not cool. Alex should not be just lurking in the shadows like some sort of Twilight love interest, gazing hopelessly at Henry and letting this totally new and totally unwelcome feeling— a bit envious, a lot inferior, and just slightly worried— be eating him hole. He’s fucking Alex Claremont Diaz. He’s the son of the American President! He’s going to an amazing law school! He’s hot and smart and fun damn it. And Henry chose him! Henry chose him when he first plunged down to kiss him, this edge of frantic, the night of that New Year’s party. Henry chose him when they stood hand in hand facing the crowds with their chins tipped high and their love holding strong. Henry chose him when he bought that Brownstone in New York and adopted a dog with Alex’s name as the co owner.

Truly? Who is Hassan Nair in the face of all of that?

Alex watches him wink at Henry for the third time in the past five minutes and he sees red.

God damn it the prick does look like a One Direction stand-in, doesn’t he?

Fully intending to just find Beatrice and bitch about Hassan fucking Nair to her, Alex swigs down his Bellini, but stutters still when Henry pivots around, his ever alert eyes softening once catching on him.

Damn it, Alex is a weak, weak man.

“Lost you in the crowds?” Henry asks in greeting once Alex saddles up to them, slinging an arm around Henry’s waste in a way that Alex prays comes off nonchalant.

“Didn’t wanna just intrude,” Alex corrects, brow kinked playfully. “I’m not so gauche.”

Henry rolls his eyes heavenwards, but Alex knows he’s reluctantly charmed when that ghost of a smile passes across his lips.

“You once dragged me out from a conversation I was having with President Macron because you wanted to compete over who could catch the most bugs.”

“Hey! They were fireflies not just bugs you ass!” Alex charges, fully indignant now. “And you’re only pissy because my jar was like a thousand times brighter than yours!”

“You started for like a quarter of an hour longer,” Henry says airily, pale head tilted, imperious.

“Excuses don’t become you sweet cheeks.” Alex informs him, positively gleeful over the dusting of red that comes over his elegant features.

“Ahem,” the prick interrupts with a cough, eyes skewering Alex. “I don’t think we’ve met?”

“We have,” Alex corrects with a thin lipped smile. “At Phillip’s wedding— Erm ah before the incident.”

“I don’t recall,” the prick just shrugs, turning his full attention back to Henry, and yikes Alex has to give him props, he’s definitely mastered the cold dismissal thing down pat. “Henry we should grab lunch soon, it’s been ages since we’ve caught up.”

Did this guy just ask out Henry right in front of Alex? What the actual fuck?

“Of course,” Henry says in that blithe, detached sounding way he does whenever he’s trying to be polite and doesn’t know how to react. Fuck is Alex so happy he knows how to decipher his different moods. “But I reckon Alex and i best get going, we promised a friend that we’d meet them for dinner.”

The prick’s bright eyes dim and he just nods. “I’ll call you?”

“Sure,” Henry grabs for Alex’s hand and it’s the best fucking feeling in the world.

“Didn’t know we promised any such thing your highness?” Alex goads as they slip into the rental car, Amy and Shaan in a separate one tracking them back to the castle.

“I needed an excuse Alexander, and I never claimed to be above fibbing if it means I get to escape social situations,” Henry intones, lying back with his eyes shut. Sometimes Alex has to catch his breath when looking at him, sometimes forgets just how stunning he is.

With a swallow, Alex forces his eyes back on the road and wills himself to sound normal.

“He seemed nice?”

Henry’s lip quirks and fuck, apparently he’s just as easy to read.

“You hated him.”

“Did not.”

“Did so.”

“I did not!”

“Lying doesn’t become you sweet cheeks,” Henry parrots in a nasally voice that Alex refuses to call an imitation of him.

“He looks like a privileged prick,” Alex finally admits, feels his heart swell at the casual way Henry clamps a hand against his thigh, squeezing lightly.

“I reckon you thought the same of me not too long ago,” Henry prods.

“Oh I definitely still do babe,” Alex snorts, winces slightly when Henry moves to pinch his side instead. “Ouch.”

“You’re rude.”

“I love you,” Alex soothes, picks up Henry’s hand and kisses the tops of his fingers dotingly. “’s Why I was so annoyed by his flirting with you so blatantly.”

Henry stiffens slightly before relaxing, flickers his gaze to Alex’s profile meaningfully. “He was not flirting.”

Alex scoffs.

“He was literally undressing you with his eyes the entire night!”

“We’re old friends,” Henry says weakly, pillar going pale. And Alex suddenly remembers what Henry had told him over a year ago now. That his first time was with one of Philip’s old school friends when he was only seventeen. That they were both firmly in the closet and understood how to keep things quiet. That Henry appreciates it for what it was but was still so confused and terrified and lonely in the aftermath.

And oh, it makes sudden sense now.

He wonders what different sorts of expressions must be playing across his face at this moment because Henry’s just goes sad, presses closer to him.

“I think you’re my first love,” he says, and Alex can read the words that go unspoken that hug around the non sequitur.

“Me too,” he assures him.

Henry nods, soft and slow, before he presses a kiss to the hinge of Alex’s jaw, the corner of his mouth, lands on the hollow of his cheek. “From the first moment Alex Claremont Diaz,” he says in the same voice he had right before their first kiss. “I knew you were it, no matter how hopeless it seemed or how much you evidently hated me. I new you were it.”

It’s Alex’s turn to flush, tries tempting down his smile.

“Shut the fuck up you dork.”

“You’re so witty and quick and too smart for your own good,” Henry just continues on, adjusts himself so that he’s got a better look at him.

“So help me.”

“You are so beautiful and bright, like a supernova, you know that?”

“Henry I swear to God I will kick your princely ass out and make you walk.”

Henry shakes his head with a tsk, tsk. “Such pretty lips and such a dirty mouth.”

“Now you’re sounding like a porno,” Alex laughs.

“Shall I move onto complimenting your ass or would that be too explicit for your mild sensibilities?” Henry asks, mock owlish.

“I literally despise you,” Alex groans before pulling over on the side of the road and kissing him senseless.

He’s not sure how much time passes but is forced to move off him when Amy and Shaan begin beeping their horns in a crass cacophony of sound.

“Promise to help you with the tent downstairs once we get to bed,” Henry guffaws, and in turn Alex just repeats the fact that he utterly hates him with as much feeling as he could muster, goofy grin splitting his face in half all the while.

Two weeks later they see the prick at one of Beatrice’s charity luncheons, and Henry doesn’t take his hand out of Alex’s back pocket the entire afternoon.

It’s fucking fantastic.

#FIRSTPRINCE #Alex Claremont Diaz #Henry Fox Mountchristen Windsor #red white and royal blue #SPILT INK

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oneweekoneband · 7 years

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ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN: Contributor’s Roundtable

The very first decision I made about this week (before, in fact, Hendrik had even given me the go ahead) was that if I was going to do it, I wasn’t going to do it alone. Part of that was self-preservation: Green Day are a massive band, with a three-decade-long career and insurmountable amounts of energy. It’s a lot for one person to tackle. Even between the five of us, we’ve barely managed to scratch the surface.

But more than that, there was this nagging feeling that’s only grown more powerful over the course of this week, that it would really just be a shame if only one person wrote about Green Day. They belong to everyone. They’re there for the people who need them, when they need them, for whatever they need them for. Yes, they mean the world to me. The thing is, they probably mean the world to you, too.

So I put out the call on Twitter and my blog (restricting it somewhat to my circle of acquaintances by doing so, unfortunately, but this did make me more comfortable with asking in the full knowledge that I wouldn’t be able to pay any contributors for their work), and I got lucky: most of the people I was secretly hoping would offer to write about Green Day did just that. And, oh man, did they write. I can’t express how proud I am to have been able to give those pieces a platform, and to have myself and my writing associated with them and their writers. I was so impressed with the generosity and honesty of everyone’s writing that I wanted to hear more, and so I suggested the idea of a roundtable, where we could all come together to talk about our mutual topic: Green Day. This is the result.

All of us, this week, have touched on notions of belonging and acceptance in our pieces. There’s been an undertone, throughout, of the notion of Green Day as a safe space of some sort - whether it be for kids to start to figure themselves or the whole punk rock business out, or in the crowd at gigs, or as not-male or not-straight music fans. Do any of you have any more (or more specific) thoughts about this? Is this a feature of Green Day’s music, or the band themselves, or something else entirely? (Despite my piece on punk, I know it’s not as simple as that, as I’ve been in more than one punk space and met more than a few punks who made me feel unsafe - there’s a difference between ideal and reality, always.) What is it that makes a band feel “safe”?

KJ: I think I thought of Green Day as a supportive space for all sorts of people who were different, and therefore avoided owning up to liking them because I didn't want to be thought of as different? Thankfully, I've gotten over that.

Jessie: For me, it’s a combination of factors. Some of it has to do with the punk thing. Green Day weren’t the first punk band I heard--that honor goes to another East Bay band, Operation Ivy--but sometimes I call Green Day my first punk band because it was around the time I first heard them that I started thinking of punk as an identity. I have definitely felt unsafe in punk spaces/around certain punks, and I guess Green Day sort of represented some utopian ideal of punk as this super welcoming club for nerds, freaks, and outcasts. I’m not sure why that is--maybe because of the scene they came out of, or maybe, because I said in my piece on “She,” it felt like they understood what it was like to be freaks and outcasts. Which leads into the second reason they felt safe to me, and that was entirely about their music. I was being bullied pretty much constantly during the time when I first heard them, and it just felt like they understood that. Like they’d been there. I mean, Dookie had a song (“Having A Blast”) about getting revenge on the people who bullied you. (More on that song later.) The third reason they felt safe to me is a very personal one, and it may sound weird, but--they felt safe to me because I didn’t have a crush on any of the band members. From the age of 12 to around 17 (or maybe even older, but that would lead into some topics that are beyond the scope of this roundtable), I usually ended up getting a crush on at least one member of every band I liked. I mean sexual fantasy-type crushes. And I was sort of terrified of my burgeoning sexuality (for many reasons). But with Green Day, I thought of them more like cool older brothers than people I wanted to get with, and that made them feel safer to me than a lot of other bands.

Jacqui: Jessie, I’ve never even thought about it the way you put at the end there, but now that you have I completely agree. I’ve also never had a crush on any of them, and it does make a difference. There’s something a lot safer about wanting to swap guacamole recipes with Mike, for instance, than ever having been properly attracted to him would have been.

Alice: It was much the same for me, though I think Green Day was my first punk band (or, possibly, The Offspring). But Green Day also was sort of a gateway drug, in terms of pop punk, and I think that in so many ways the pop punk scene of the early-to-mid-2000s was my safe space. It’s like we’ve said, that punk in reality isn’t always the safe space it is supposed to be - and of course, it is different for everyone and we are ignorant, of certain things, when we’re young. But when I was growing up, in Alabama, there weren’t many spaces for me. The pop-punk boom/resurgence of the 2000s was a saving grace, I think. Those bands - Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, etc. - and the people I met through them, mostly online, became a huge part of the ways in which I reckoned with myself and my identity. Between “Well, maybe I’m the faggot America / I’m not a part of the redneck agenda” and Bert McCracken (of The Used) wearing a shirt that said “Gay is OK”, I felt included and comforted by these group of weird punk misfit dudes.

This is perhaps a corollary to the above: as far as I know, everyone who’s written for this week is, in some way or another, not-straight. One of my favourite things ever written about Green Day, Cristy Road’s coming out memoir Spit and Passion, is also, obviously, written by a not-straight woman. I know that when I think of Green Day, I think of a band that is Not A Straight Band, in smaller ways and larger ones (I’m thinking of Billie Joe, of course, and of certain lyrics, and safe spaces, again, and of the secret-community like collection of “Coming Clean” tattoos I’ve seen over the years). What do you think?

Jessie: I don’t know why so many not-straight people are into Green Day, but it certainly does seem to be true. I didn’t know that Billie Joe identified as bi until way after I got into the band, but when I found out I was like “Hell yeah! Yet another reason to love them!” Dookie came out the year I realized I was bi (though it would be another four years or so before I actual felt wholly comfortable with that label), and though there were no explicitly queer songs on it, it goes back to what I mentioned above--so many Green Day songs seem to speak to that sense of being an outcast, being lonely, being bullied, and one of the things that made me an outcast and that I was bullied about was my sexual orientation and gender expression. Another theory as to why so many not-straight folks love Green Day: they are not an uber-macho band. Billie Joe has often been seen wearing makeup, nail polish, even dresses; I’ve seen Tre in eyeliner, too, and he’s just sort of goofy-looking (I mean that as a compliment!). Mike is probably the most ‘masculine’-looking of the band members, but even he is not some meathead. There are just so many rock and punk bands that are so so into the whole machismo, look-at-me-I’m-a-man thing, and Green Day are not one of them and it’s great.

Cat: So, haha, funny story, Billie Joe is sort of the reason I admitted to myself that I liked girls. I mean, God knows every single person in my life knew I wasn’t straight, I was bullied for it relentlessly from the ages of eight to eighteen, but I was really terrified of this idea of “not being normal”. Small town, small school, white picket fences and 2.5 kids - I had this really clear idea that there was a Right way to live your life, which was “how everyone else was living it”, and that there was a Wrong way. And then I read that Advocate interview - which I was so happy to find again in your post about Coming Clean, Alice! - and Billie Joe says there, I think everybody is born bisexual, I think everybody fantasizes about the same sex. Which I disagree with as a point of view these days - but at the time, it was exactly what I needed to hear, to understand that my thoughts and feelings about girls weren’t just a random fluke that I needed to suppress. And then later I was able to move into a more mature standpoint, i.e., “oh, it doesn’t actually matter if this is normal or not, it’s okay anyway”, and also, “oh, I’m actually way more into girls than guys.” But I really, really needed that Advocate interview to get me to that place.

Alice: Thanks, Cat! Yeah, as I mentioned in my piece, I didn’t read The Advocate interview until much, much later. But I read it - when I was seventeen - exactly when I needed to read it. I don’t think that I ever connected Green Day, and the ways in which their music always meant so much to me, to my being gay until that moment. It was a moment of satisfaction, reassurance, almost. Like oh this is maybe why they always felt like home to me.

KJ: I have a very vivid memory of frantically late-night Wikipedia-ing a “list of bisexual celebrities” and feeling utterly relieved when I saw Billie Joe’s name. Like, if this guy who I looked up to could be bi, so maybe could I? Not for the first or fifteenth time, I thought about starting a band.

[ continued under the cut ]

We’ve also talked a lot about what Green Day meant to us, about our memories of the band and their songs, simply by virtue of this week being a retrospective of their career. Have your feelings changed, in the present? Do they mean/are they the same band to you now as they used to be?

Jessie: Green Day have drifted in and out of my life. They’ve grown as I have and sometimes I’ve needed them and other times I haven’t. It’s like they’re old friends who I sometimes go years without speaking to, but when we run into each other we pick up where we left off. Some of their albums have come out exactly when I needed to hear them, others have grown on me, others I’ll probably never be that into. But they’ll always mean a lot to me because of the things we went through together (to stretch that “old friends” metaphor), and I adore Revolution Radio--I think it’s their best album since American Idiot.

Cat: I mean, part of it’s just going to be the usual punk problem, i.e., American Idiot was the most important album of my entire life, it defined everything in my life, it was my constant soundtrack and the only thing that explained the world, and then Obama was elected president.

And then Trump was elected president! And suddenly it’s - not the most important album in the world, the Bush era was very specific and unique and I need slightly different content from my punk for 2017, but it means more to me than it did in 2010. It’s like cicadas, it comes out of the earth to scream every 16 years.

KJ: Funny enough, I was up at my parents’ house the week before this OWOB started and my mother still uses the one mix tape I made her in high school as her alarm clock cd. So, while I'm thinking about Green Day and Having Some Real Feelings, out of nowhere comes the strains of “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life),” my mom's only acceptable Green Day song (all others deemed too noisy). So in a way, Green Day is less a rebellious sound and more a coming home, to me, now.

Is there anything else you wish you’d had the space to say about Green Day? Another song you wanted to cover, maybe, or a story or observation or thought that wouldn’t fit in any of your pieces?

Jessie: There is so, so, so much more I could say. A lot of thoughts and ideas came up over the course of this week. One thing I thought of that I eventually want to explore further is about “Having A Blast.” That song came out before Columbine, and I wonder if it sounds different to people who heard it for the first time after that. I wonder if that song could even be written now. In 1994, it sounded like a harmless way to vent about being bullied, a way to get our your anger without actually hurting anyone. Now that people have actually taken those feelings beyond the realm of fantasy, that song sounds a lot darker.

Alice: Only that we really, really should have planned for a second roundtable, just to discuss Green Day’s cover of Eye of the Tiger.

More seriously, I am a bit sad I wasn’t able to write a piece about the musical (sorry Jacqui!) - I had the chance to see it when it opened and it remains, to this day, the only Broadway show I’ve ever bought full price orchestra tickets for. It wasn’t perfect, but sitting in a Broadway theatre between people my age who had obviously been with the band since the beginning and women in their 60s and 70s who still wore gowns to the theatre - and seeing that they were both equally happy to be there - that was a really special moment for me.

KJ: Oh man, eye of the Tiger! Ditto their “I Fought the Law” cover. Basically, I guess we should have luxuriated in covers.

Jacqui: I know that I, personally, avoided covers this week because there was already so much to say about their original work. But if I had gone in that direction, it would have been “Working Class Hero”. One of the major ways I had of connecting with my dad was through music - a good 75% of the stuff I know about rock history, still, came from him - and this song and really the whole benefit album it was released on was an actual, tangible bridge between us (I have this incredibly fond memory of waiting for me just inside the door when I came home from school one day, bursting with the need to tell me that “Justin Timberlake is really talented, actually”). I’d also want to talk about the difficulties and complications of things like benefit albums, probably, and about Green Day’s activism in general.

Finally, is there anything you want to say to each other (or me) - responses to posts, questions you want to ask, etc?

Cat: I get the feeling I’m a lot younger than a lot of you - was born in ‘95, Bush’s election is my first real political memory, and you guys talk about American Idiot and the Iraq War and the ‘00s as things you experienced as people who were coming of age, not young kids. Do you all think that makes a difference? Do you need to be a certain age to appreciate Dookie in a certain way, for example? Also, jeez, y’all have been incredible, I’m so honored to be part of a week with such amazing and thoughtful writers for such an amazing and thoughtful band.

Jessie: Hmm, I don’t know if it’s an age thing. I will say that I’m probably the oldest one here--I was born in 1981!--but I know people who are 10-12 years younger than I am who heard Dookie as adolescents and loved it just as much as I did. So maybe it depends more on who you are/what your life was like when you heard it than on your actual age.

I don't really have any questions for any of you, but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being part of this as well. All of you are amazing writers and I’ve loved reading your different perspectives on Green Day. Also, I’m working on a long essay-thing about Dookie (I’ve been mapping it out for about a month already!), and I may want to interview some of you for it, if that sounds like something you’d be interested in.

Alice: I certainly don’t think you need to have been a certain age to appreciate Dookie - like I’ve said, my mother loves early Green Day and she turned 65 this year. But I do think perhaps you’re right about American Idiot, not that it doesn’t hold meaning for people who were too young to remember 9/11 or people who were well into adulthood. But, I was born in 1990 and so my “coming of age” period was literally when Bush got elected. I very much remember watching the towers fall. And, as someone who had the questionable delight of meeting him personally, I certainly remember George Bush. There aren’t words for how important that album was, in that moment in time. Waking up when you’re eleven years old and realizing that world had suddenly and completely changed, and for reasons you don’t really understand - well. Music helped with that, it helped a lot. So, again, not that it didn’t or couldn’t mean the same to someone a bit younger than me (it obviously did!) but for someone who came of age in Obama’s America? I don’t think it’s possible to really get the very specific - and bleak, angry, defiant - zeitgeist American Idiot captured.

I don’t have any questions either, but like Jessie I wanted to thank you all so much for this! I love doing One Week One Band and I loved it even more doing with it with y’all! And thank you Jacqui for facilitating this. It’s been an absolute blast.

KJ: Just want to thank Jacqui for the opportunity to write about and come to terms with my Green Day fandom. (I don't think my therapist was...intending? To discuss a pop punk band for 30min this week?) Also re: age, it really doesn't matter, as there are many accessible avenues to Green Day. (Thatsaidamericanidiotisclearlythebestfightme.)Thanks again!

Jacqui: Jessie, I would be absolutely delighted if you decided to interview me, and am going to take a second right now to beg you to let me know when that essay goes live regardless, because I will definitely want to read it. I’ve left your mention of it in, here, so that people will know to keep an eye out for it!

I agree that age doesn’t matter when it comes to getting into Green Day, or even understanding them - there’s a difference between remembering a specific point in time and understanding or finding your own meaning in what came out of it, and I think that’s true of all art. Whatever you love, whatever sparks a feeling of recognition in you, that’s yours and no one can take that feeling away from you. That said, I do think there’s a difference in types of understanding when it comes to huge, world-shaping events like watching the towers fall (or, more positively: the development of the internet and its ability to facilitate both music sharing and community building.) Basically, I agree with Alice. No one is surprised.

Thank you so much again, everyone. It really has been a delight, and a privilege. I’ll be making a round up post that re-introduces you all and collects your contributions to end the week.

#green day

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bonnissance · 7 years

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ur opinion on robbie (as a character, as a plot device in serena being a big ole gaymo, as a... whatever you want)

as a character I haven’t got a lot to say about him w/o going back and rewatching him from the beginning bc i only caught the end half of his arc w Serena but he just seems like a dude who does things and *shrugs*

as a plot device, Robbie is there to a) drag Serena’s confidence down and make her feel like a terrible person who neglects her family and needs to do more than she already is, b) remind the audience she’s Straight™ pre-Bernie, and c) confirm that she is bisexual post-Bernie.

(this is under the cut bc it ended up w a y longer than I’d anticipated and CW: physical abuse re mentions of Adrienne’s dementia storyline)

I absolutely think Robbie was—possibly introduced to be, but at the very least—used to ram home Serena’s apparently failings in a family unit. Everything from the beginning of s18 is about how bad Serena is at balancing her family and how she’s wrong (and has been for a long time) to neglect her family the way she apparently does.

This is a woman who willingly groomed herself to endure months (but could just as easily been years) of physical abuse from her mother, while simultaneously shielding her daughter from any filial obligation that would put her in harms way. The same woman who would bend over backwards to spend time with her daughter when she actually has the time, only she hasn’t got a lot of time bc of work.

But when she hasn’t got the time to spend w her family when they want it she’s apparently neglecting them (which is absolute rubbish she doesn’t neglect her family at all, she just shows her appreciation in the way the rest of her family knows how to receive it, just as they don’t show it in a way that Serena knows how to receive it. They all have Emotional Deprivation life traps and need to go to therapy).

But apparently being a woman with a career and a family means she has to chose one or the other and when she “choses” the career bc it’s what she was supposed to be doing in the first place and that’s hers and she’s worked hard for it and it’s hers, she is The Worst™, no matter about the fact that it doesn’t really matter what Serena choses, bc no matter what Serena does or who she tries to become, it’ll never enough for anyone else.

Robbie is used to sets Serena apparent “wrongness” regarding her priorities, which builds the foundation for Jason’s introduction. Jason and Serena’s initial storyline is banging us over the head about Serena being sorry for her existence, and that she should be sorry about who she is and they way she is. That storyline—her initial inability to accommodate her new family’s needs—is depicted to be another marker of her failing as a human and a women, rather than just someone who’s a bit out of their depths and needs more support until they can figure out how to handle things.

And Robbie is absolutely instrumental in that. Not once (in any scene that I can remember) does he ever say, “Serena, ur gr8 as u r and ur doing the best u can and ur right for the choices uve made u’ve just gotta stick it out a little more”. It’s always “think about these other things (like me) that will take up time and energy” and “let me do things for u that you’ve not asked me to do nor is it even remotely implied that you might want them, bc wouldn’t that make me seem like such a nice dude.”

Not once does he ever attempt to validate Serena’s choices, or support her as she tries to sort out things, and instead constantly niggles and nags at her about shifting her focus away from the things she wants to do (medicine and her job at first, and then later Jason) to include him in her life plans, rather than supporting her enough to be able to expand her focus to include him.

so on that note, Robbie can go suck a million fucks.

(On a side note, Serena has literally never once had anyone point out the fact that she shouldn’t have to chose and it wasn’t until Bernie came along that anyone pointed out she’s not wrong for the choices she has made. Bernie sees that Serena is struggling w all the things she wants to do and suggests it might w worth reevaluating which ones are within her grasp of achieving, bc there’s nothing wrong w taking a step back to focus on things that make you happy, and it’s literally the first time anyone has ever validated the choices Serena has made w her life.

Meanwhile, Ric Griffin swans in to the ward one day, postures like a jerk, stomps all over Bernie and her current life predicament, and then stares broodishly out a window having a life crisis until Bernie validates that he’s not wrong for the choices he’s made. Why the fuck does Ric get that kind of support every other day and Serena gets put through the fucking ringer?!?!?!? me @ holby writers: fight me)

Also, Robbie is also absolutely a plot device used to codify Serena as Straight™ so that the revelation w Bernie is actually a Revelation™. bc w/o having a recent boyfriend, Serena goes back to being a overly flirty character (who’s always had queer potential) who’s been single for ages who then makes this new best friend, and then the falling in love part would is just, “well whoops guess that happened isn’t it grand” *heart eyes*. Robbie is used to confirm her sexuality at the time.

Interestingly, he’s also used to clarify Serena’s bisexuality as well. Bc even after she has a sapphic awakening about being madly in love w Bernie, she still cares about him, enough to consider getting back together. Hence why, in process of explaining her sexuality to Jason in an offscreen conversation (which probs began w Jason asking what the dealieo is w her dating Bernie now but being w Robbie when she was away), she literally said “it’s more complicated than [being a lesbian now]” rather than “I’m a lesbian w a mixed dating history” or “I’m just in love w Bernie and the rest doesn’t matter”, bc the rest does matter bc it’s still relevant to now.

And bc Jason is in all likelihood quoting Serena when he says “it’s complicated” later on and he’s more likely to start pulling information from the beginning of that conversation than at any other point, it means that Serena begin explaining her sexuality as “it’s complicated” before going into a bit more detail about the spectrum and then ended the conversation by saying “I’m bisexual.” (like, maybe she doesn’t align w any signifier, but I reckon Serena is chill af w being bi and is happy to scream it at ppl when needs be)

In short, Robbie as a plot device is there to a) drag Serena’s confidence down and make her feel like a terrible person who neglects her family and needs to do more than she already is and b) clarify Serena’s sexuality at multiple points in the narrative.

On the one hand, suck some fucks, on the other hand, important aspect in codifying the spectrum of female same-sex sexuality representation present Holby City.

#i laugh for a million years bc i should have been working on my thesis proposal instead of meta-ing whoops oh well i was feeling rather #tired before i think the break was useful. but as you can see i have a lot of opinions about Serena Campbell's existence and her narrative #treatment in holby city and Robbie is a part of that #Serena Campbell: bisexual extraordinaire #mxquill #thank you darling #love me a good rant #holby city

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malenudism · 5 years

Text

How come straight guys watch homoerotica

Gay porn is astonishingly popular with straight Guys, Based on a latest analyze.

While you may not hope boy on boy action for being successful among a hetero male demographic, research by Youporn tells a powerful tale of straight fellas finding their kicks from seeing exact same-intercourse couples get it on. sexy nude men

In keeping with Youporn, a whopping 23 per cent of time, straight Gentlemen look at gay porn and 39 p.c of enough time, self-determining straight women choose to view gay porn far too.

Perhaps additional confusingly, 24 p.c of “straight” Guys have really had gay sexual intercourse, whilst 36 % of “straight” women have experienced sexual intercourse with An additional woman, based on the study.

So why could possibly straight Gentlemen watch gay porn? We questioned Radio one’s resident sexpert, Alix Fox, alongside a raft of wellness experts, ranging from Medical professionals to wellbeing coordinators, for his or her thoughts.

Turns out you'll find 3 principal reasons…

one. Rebelling versus gender stereotypes

A single argument is that same-intercourse associations are aspirational as they don’t abide by standard gender stereotypes.

“Folks in exact-sexual intercourse couples normally are more equitable inside the ways in which they allocate domestic do the job, which include childcare,” say Francisco Perales and Janeen Baxter within the College of Queensland.

“It’s exciting that a significant range of straight Males look at gay porn since it would seem so not likely,” clarifies Health practitioner Sam Miles, social science researcher at London School of Hygiene & Tropical Drugs.

Nevertheless, he reasoned: “If you concentrate on it, there’s no purpose why they wouldn’t. Some gay Males check out straight porn, so it mustn't arrive as a shock that the reverse may also be correct. It stands to explanation that some of these Guys want a special ‘flavour’ at times”.

A broader tide of openness and acceptance, coupled Together with the #MeToo motion also signifies “some straight Guys may possibly locate the way that Women of all ages are handled in straight porn demoralising”, states Doctor Sam Miles.

“Gay porn tends to possess a considerably less evident electricity imbalance involving actors” and offers a fresh new standpoint.

Doctor Martin J. Downing, a research scientist for Community Wellness Answers, also reckons straight-pinpointing men view gay porn to modify factors up.

“One particular’s sexual identification would not often mirror his or her sexual attractions and encounters,” he said.

“Some heterosexual-discovered men could expertise sexual arousal through the homosociality or patterns of male bonding (which includes BDSM) inherent to gay male pornography”.

“It is vital to note that the sort of porn you look at doesn’t establish your sexuality,” insisted Ruby Stevenson, schooling and wellbeing coordinator at Brook.

“There’s such a large variety of porn accessible that it’s no wonder consumers are switching up their viewing routines and looking at many different content material”.

In keeping with Ruby, straight Males look at gay porn because they are merely becoming inquisitive. “Watching many different porn is usually a wholesome way for people today to discover fantasies devoid of or ahead of they examine a little something in genuine life,” notes Ruby.

Alix Fox, sexual wellness pro for BBC Radio one and ambassador for 1 condoms and Brook young people’s sexual health charity, told PinkNews: “I’ve dropped rely of the number of queries I’ve received from straight-identifying Males who’ve been viewing gay porn and therefore are bewildered in regards to the implications that may have regarding their sexuality”.

2. Straight Males watch gay porn to see what other male bodies seem like

Gay sex

Straight Males also uncover solace in fantasising about being with A different gentleman even whenever they aren’t gay, because of the curiosity derived within the close platonic bonds among Adult men.

Dr Sam Miles instructed PinkNews: “Gay porn tends be based upon a narrative of hypermasculinity – frequently quite ‘manly’, muscular Adult males – which could possibly appeal to straight Males as an intriguing and different form of sexual marriage to whatever they normally see inside their frequent porn.”

Alix Fox agrees. “Gay porn offers a easy, discreet way to look at what Others are packing,” she described.

“Loads of Adult men uncover it compelling – and maybe reassuring – to give you the option privately just take their time examining a variety of other dudes’ body forms and genitalia way too.

“Many people speculate no matter if their particular dangly ballsack/circumcision scar/twink bod is ‘regular’, nevertheless it’s not noticed as socially acceptable to closely study other Males’s sections in public cases”.

3. Some straight-identifying Males are literally gay or curious

The Place of work of National Statistics (ONS) stated in 2017 that the volume of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender men and women in the UK experienced strike one million for The very first time. A landmark figure for your community, the superior – but not substantial sufficient – determine also tells a sadder tale.

Several LGBTQ+ men and women are closeted and viewing gay porn in non-public. The actual quantity of gay people in Britain is probably going being ten p.c, claims the Kinsey report.

Relevant: This Tumblr hack can make it super effortless to look for porn with your phone

Stonewall asserted: “It is also crucial to recognise the context of this sort of investigation… Though individuals may possibly sense relaxed answering an anonymous study, They could battle to open up about their id with mates, spouse and children or colleagues.”

Alix Fox is campaigning for an finish to “deceptive” and “extremely binary” distinctions involving heterosexual and homosexual

“I sometimes joke that With regards to sexuality, The majority of us sit somewhere within the perineum… the delightfully fuzzy House among two more unique locations!

“Some Adult men may well legitimately drop into these kinds of camps as ‘Straight, but also gets off on looking at two bears barebacking’, or ‘Inclined toward building really like with girls, but Possibly wouldn’t say no to your BJ from a bloke.’

“For the proportion, Indeed: viewing gay porn could indicate a repressed or hitherto unexplored component in their sexual identification”.

“However , you know what will be great for all those Adult males, even though, in all Those people situation? Continued operate to eliminate the unwarranted disgrace and stigma that sadly continue to surrounds gay, bisexual, curious and queer identities and pursuits.

“Whatsoever a straight-determining male feels when he watches gay material, he mustn't experience ashamed.”

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