#like I can just do the dishes and it's not some angsty production it take me less than 10 mins now

[mccoyquialisms]

coming into week 4 on wellbutrin and my god I can't believe all I needed was a bit of dopamine this whole time

[sandwicz]

Spiderzuha, Spiderzuha, Does whatever a spider can

Fluff, a tiny bit of angst in the end oop

Kazuha came to you injured, you treated his wounds

Note: I was planning to make an angsty plot, but i got very busy due to school and kinda lost motivation. (sorry ;-;)

✧-----------------------------------------✧

You just returned from your errand of delivering a package to your lovely neighbor in your apartment complex. You then went to the sink to wash your hands after arriving home and taking off your shoes.

As you went there, you realized that the sink had unwashed dishes, left by yourself when you didn’t have the motivation to wash them before. You’re sort of in the mood to be productive, so you decided to wash them.

You enjoyed your time washing the dishes as you hummed your favorite song. Suddenly, arms started to wrap around your waist. You were shocked by this, but your quick reflexes allowed you to take a metal ladle from the sink and quickly turn your head to see the intruder, relaxing a bit once you saw a glimpse of platinum blond hair from the corner of your eyes.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding out of relief, and you lowered the ladle you were holding back into the sink. 

“Kazuha…” You exhaled, your voice a little bit exasperated. “You could’ve given me a heart attack, you know? I thought you were an intruder!”

You sighed again and went back to dishwashing.

“It’s partially the reason why I visited you this way,” he chuckled. “You left your balcony door unlocked; people can come into your house uninvited, you know?”

“Oh, please, Kazuha, I live in a 25-story apartment and live on the 19th floor. You think people would just come into people’s apartments this high up?”

“A firetruck and its ladder can reach this height. There might be a firefighter villain, you know?”

You chuckled at Kazuha’s response. You both then went quiet. Kazuha quietly watched you wash the dishes, with his head on your shoulder and arms by his sides. (BRO JUST IMAGINE THE COMFORTABLE SILENCE, IMAGINE HOW DOMESTIC IT IS, HIM JUST BEING THERE, HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, AAAA NO I'M NOT DOWNBAD AT ALL.)

You finally finished washing the last dishes and let out a satisfied hum. Before turning back to see Kazuha fully, and realized- 

“OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?” you shouted.

You turned your back to see Kazuha in his battered spider suit, with some holes in some areas of his body, like his arms, chest, and legs. He also had a lot of huge scratches and some patches of blood on the exposed skin of the ripped suit. It seemed like the blood had dried off, so it’s no wonder why you could barely smell any blood from him earlier when doing the dishes. 

Kazuha chuckled at your reaction. 

You shouted at him again, “KAZUHA, WHY ARE YOU CHUCKLING? YOU’RE HURT!”

You hurriedly wiped your hands on a towel placed near the sink and gestured for him to sit on a chair in the kitchen. You quickly took your medical kit from your room toward the living room.

After a few minutes, you returned to Kazuha, helped him up by putting one of his arms on your shoulders, and half-carried him to the bathroom. You washed his wounds with running tap water. Although Kazuha winced at the little stings of pain, he kept quiet, watching you clean his blood off his body. He smiled at how gentle you are with him. You were so caring to him, not hesitating to care for him even if it inconvenienced you. 

You went out of the bathroom and sat Kazuha on the couch in the living room, where you carefully bandaged him. Carefully, wrapping his arm in bandages. The quiet yet serene atmosphere the both of you were having was something Kazuha cherished so much. 

Even though you’ve bandaged and taken care of his wounds multiple times, he still can’t help but blush at the close contact both of you were having. He will never get tired of your nagging and lectures about taking care of himself and prioritizing himself above others while you gently treat his wounds. 

"Kazuha… I've said this multiple times, and I don't know if you will actually listen," you whispered. You looked at Kazuha, your expression full of worry and melancholy.

You cupped one of his cheeks with your hand, and Kazuha reciprocated your affection by leaning into your touch.

"Please. Take care of yourself. It's okay to help others; I know you strive to help any person as much as you can, sometimes to the point where you almost risk your own life."

You sighed, "Let me rephrase this better." You paused for a few seconds, you dropped your hands that cupped his cheeks to you side. "The people need you; yes, I know that. I know you want to help and save a lot of people. I know you want to protect them all… But if you push yourself too much, if you get too hurt, if you're gone-"

You fought back the tears trying to come out of your eyes, keeping a stern expression on your face. Kazuha never left his gaze off of you. He too tried to show a serious expression to you, knowing the actions he did that caused you this sorrow.

"...Who's gonna save and protect them in the end?"

Kazuha's eyes widened at this. 

“All I wanted to say is that it’s good to want to save people, but you need to always know your limits and know when to stop. I don’t want you to get too hurt,” you choked back a sob. 

“I… I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” you looked at Kazuha, tears in your eyes.

Kazuha softened his gaze towards you, eyebrows lowered. He cupped and caressed your cheek with his thumb as he frowned at the sight of your tears. 

“I’m sorry…” he said, voice full of remorse, “I didn’t mean to hurt you at all, I want to become spiderman… So I can save everyone…” 

Kazuha looked down, gaze averted to the floor.

“I- I guess… I forgot to include myself as everyone-”

He returned his gaze to your eyes, he smiled.

“Thank you, for always looking out for me. Thank you for always being the one return me back if I stray too far. You are the one who’d always stay by my side, through hell or high waters.”

“(Name), I know you’ve heard this a lot of times already, but-

I promise, I will keep myself save and alive, no matter how terrible the villain is, no matter how high the risk may go

... For I love you too much to not be with you until the end, in this life, or another.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: thx for reading until the end, it’s messy in the end. Sorry about that (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

I've started this since the new ATSV movie came out but procrastinated due to school and laziness, so it's been in my drafts for SOO long ;-;

Ehe

[arthuluart]

Hiii - wanted to say first thing first I love your art style, it's so dynamic and fun and those color palettes? Stunning ^^

And second thing second, just some food for thought if you ever want to get angsty about Jerry and Dean, coffee by Chappell Roan sounds like it was written about their break up specifically and I can't stop thinking abt it dndnden

*Cue me losing my mind*

Hiii- they say flattery gets you everywhere and turns out with me, it gets you animatics- jkjk but I do appreciate the kind comments ^^

I’ll put up the animatic separately and take the opportunity to leave the preamble here to keep the video post neat bc until someone tells me to shut up and just post art- I’m gonna ramble… So here’s the commentary you didn’t ask for along with my favourite panels:

First off- You turned me into a big time Chappell Roan listener which is great bc I need music recs to fix my listening habits before Spotify wrapped drops. My roundup last year was shameful… Red Wine Supernova is my new dish washing song.

Even tho it’s not the song’s vibe I kept the content as silly as I could for my own sanity. I don’t love getting too deep into the serious/sad side of M+L for a few reasons but I do find it all very interesting. Point being this song was too good to pass up doing something a bit bigger for.

Ngl tho- this did have me pulling out hair at multiple points. I never colour animatics, rarely even tone them- but you mentioned colour palettes and I was determined to deliver so pardon the messy colouring but (that was the tradeoff) I did not have it in me to stay in the lines. I’m choosing to be kind to myself and opt to call it an artistic choice and not midway burnout. And nothing was gonna get me to open after effects/premiere not even the janky ass golf ball OML this only makes sense if u watch the video.

There are parts of this I’m SO happy with and others I hate. I think it’s really obvious which sections I started losing steam on but overall I lowkey like the end product. Nothing I make will ever be good/perfect- this was one hell of a practice in accepting that lmao- but I can still be ok with the work problems and all yknow? I very nearly shelved this completely bc I got so worked up about the maybe 5 panels I dislike out of 106 total. Counting them was eye opening to ask myself: you’re gonna let that small a ratio stop you from sharing this after putting in days and days of effort? The insecurity goes deep and TBH getting asks has been a nice way of working through it since I post the art I make for answers no matter what only bc I KNOW someone out there wants to see it. It might not sound it but it’s actually quite positive.

Also, although I feel I’ve done my fair share of reading, I’m no expert. So if anything is really off point- sorry my bad (I won’t fix it tho bc I cannot physically stand to look at this another second lol)

I tried to stick to real things found in articles/books/photos/interviews etc bc outside of obviously fictional AUs I’m not super into making stuff up about them (and who needs to I mean the legit stuff is already insane enough) Sure I framed the events in specific ways to suit the song and some aspects are fictionalized (mainly bc the referenced written accounts lacked detail to draw 100% faithfully from anyhow) but otherwise I got my sources cited.

ANYWAYS… sorry for hijacking this answer I need to learn to chill out. Irl I’m a pretty reserved talker so you can tell I’m in a comfy place when I let loose and blather on endlessly lmao brevity is not a skill I possess.

You were probably expecting illustrations or smth but I hope what I came up with is still somewhat alright AND please don’t let my complaining fool you, I genuinely loved making this.

One FINAL Relevant Note: the line “nowhere else is safe every place leads back to your place” is gut wrenching. You’re so right about this song perfectly describing the break up. They always came back to each other and there’s something so devastating about that kind of haunting human connection.

OkAY I’m done promise- I thought I’d implode if I didn’t get all that out

[absolutebl]

Top BLs with great chemistry?

What a great ask!!!

Reminder I define good chemistry as having 3 things:

emotional resonance (AKA emotional empathy - heart)

physical reactions (AKA sexual feedback - body)

sympathetic execution (AKA intellectual connection - mind)

In other words, as an audience member I want to feel that the characters  

like each emotionally

desire each other physically

are enjoying it (AKA understand each others needs intellectually)

So putting aside heat levels, quality of production, and story here are my... 

11 BLs with the BEST Chemistry

in order 

1. Tharn & Type in TharnType (Thailand) obviously. I may have my issues with this flipping show but chemistry is NOT one of them. 

Burn style? Nitric acid

2. Shi De & Shu Yi in We Best Love (Taiwan). The ache with these two just never goes away even when they are happily together. 

Burn style? Oxygen deprivation 

3. Fighter & Tutor in Why R U? (Thailand) They are just really really hot together, okay? 

Burn style? Sulfuric acid 

(Also Zee does a banging job in Cutie Pie. If we had a stand alone chemistry king, it would probubly be Zee.) 

4. Wild Dog & Black Dagger in Long Time No See (Korea). Mixing up violence and tenderness in a very tasty way. 

Burn style? Road rash 

5. Tutor Tan & Dr Bun in Manner of Death (Thailand). You just jump into bed with the enemy THAT fast? 

Burn style? Taser 

(MaxTul are the Kings of Thai BL pairs, no one can touch them for consistent chemistry across all their series, branding, and queer friendly community relations.) 

6. Teh & Oh-aew in I Told Sunset About You (Thailand). Would you like a side of chemistry with your teen angst? 

Burn style? Bad sunburn 

7. Tang Yi & Shao Fei in HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan). These two did a GREAT job of showcasing mature chemistry. The side dishes in this series are wonderful too. It’s the only one on this list with consistent chemistry for all characters. 

Burn style? Aged whiskey 

8. Gu Hai & Bai Luo Yin in Addicted (China). Just rolling in the stuff, and we got to kinda see how it might have gone without censorship... so they make the list. 

Burn style? Douse in gasoline and light that match 

9. Yu Zhen & Shi Lei in Be Loved In House: I Do. Sure it takes them a while but once they get there the pay out is killer. 

Burn style? Sweet chili dipping sauce 

10. Ace & Sky in My Day the series (Pinoy). How sugary can you take your chemistry? 

Burn Style? Cinnamon candy  

11. Jaeyoung & Sangwoo in Semantic Error (Korea). Perfectly balanced spicy, sweet, salty, and chewy. 

Burn style? Spicy tteokbokki 

* Lovey Writer & Ingredients & HIStory 2 almost made the list. 

** New 2022 additions: KinnPorsche (2 pairs: KP & VegasPete, kinky cheesy chemistry), Love Mechanics (messy angsty chemistry), Old Fashion Cupcake (low heat but still hot chemistry), and Secret Crush On You (fantastic chemistry but the ultimate cringe). 

10 Great Spicy Side Dishes? 

in no particular order 

Pitch & Bank in Golden Blood (Thailand)

Forth & Beam in 2 Moons 2 (Thailand) 

Win & Team in Until We Meet Again (Thailand) 

Ram & King in My Engineer (Thailand) 

Frame & Book in Make it Right 2 (Thailand) 

Khun & Kaow in Brothers (Thailand)

Bo Xiang & Zhi Gang in HIStory 3: Make Our Day’s Count (Taiwan) 

Jack & Zhao in HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan) 

Yong Jie & Xing Si in HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan) 

Ou Wen & Mark in Love is Science? (Taiwan) 

Short Series Honorable Mention

The KaengPuth episode from Y-Destiny (Thailand)

Just Friends (Korea)

HIStory Obsessed (Taiwan) 

Some More (Korea)

Dishonorable Mention: Crazy High Heat Chemistry Without Reason

The Pornographer Series (Japan) 

Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese (Japan) 

Irresistible Love (China) 

Light (Taiwan) 

Best chemistry that never went anywhere? 

The Devil Judge (Korea)

Nitman (Thailand) 

Friend Forever (Thailand)

My Dear Loser - InnSun side dishes (Thailand) 

Love By Chance 2: A Chance at Love - KeenTum side dishes (Thailand)

Love O2O - KO & Hao Mai side dishes (China) 

Word of Honor (China)

The Untamed (China)

Advance Bravely (China) 

(dated July 2022, judgments based on current offerings)

(source)

[miekasa]

MIEEE do you think aot boys have vices? like do eren or jean smoke??

Hiiiii. You sent this ask a while ago, sorry for just now getting around to it, but in short, yeah I think most of them do! I also think that they have, like... coping mechanisms? So as to not resort to their vices when they’re angry or stressed, but they usually end up overdoing it anyway lmfaoo. I guess this is kind of angsty :(( they all need a hug every once in a while okay :(( 

Eren’s is drinking and being generally reckless. He was never a heavy drinker, but it was easier to get drunk and not have consequences for a few hours, than to deal with his own shit. Now, instead of drinking, he cleans... like... deep cleans. On his knees with a toothbrush and dish soap scrubbing at the grout between the bathroom tiles by hand kind of clean. It’s a better alternative, and productive, but he’s snappy. He’s so in his own head, so upset with himself and taking it out on this one stain on the ground that he doesn’t even noticed that you’ve walked in, so when he feels a tap on his shoulder, he’s about to snap, “Piss off Jean, now’s not the—oh... uh, hi.” 

Armin doesn’t really have a vice, but when he’s upset, he has a tendency to shut down. He doesn’t answer texts, he doesn’t do his homework, he doesn’t leave his apartment. He stays holed up in his room, with a blanket over his head, and his favorite show running on autoplay on his TV. It’s a stark difference from the guy who usually wakes up at 9:30 every morning, and sticks to his schedule like clockwork. Honestly, he just kind of needs to be held after that, and probably should eat something with some sustenance, too. 

Jean’s vice is working out, or rather, over-working out. Stems from insecurities in high school, he tended to overdo it with the pre-workout and calorie counting and meal prepping. He’s gotten better and talked himself down from that, and has found replacement in cooking. But, like Eren, he tends to uh... do it very snappily, and to the extreme. He knows he has to stay out of the gym lest he strain a muscle angrily lifting too many weights, so cooking seven course meals is his alternative. You know something’s bothering him when you come home and there’s a whole Michelin star level meal in the kitchen. It tastes good, and only after you’ve eaten all of it is Jean ready to explain what’s going on. He just needs to talk it out; things don’t get to him that often, so he needs a lot of support when it does. 

Levi’s is cigarettes, and he’s pretty good at hiding it. He only keeps a single pack tucked away in a deep drawer of his apartment, always opens all the windows, and showers immediately after so the smell doesn’t have a chance to linger. He doesn’t feel good about it though, he knows it’s not good for him, and it’s not something he makes habit of; only allows himself that one pack for the entire year, but even so he doesn’t like to reach for them. His alternative is to stress bake; so if you come home and your apartment smells profusely lemon and flour instead of ash, then yeah, it’s more pleasant, but something is still wrong. You have to prompt him to speak about what’s on his mind, and it takes some prying. Be gentle with him; ironically, taking it slow is the quickest way to earn his trust and break down his walls. 

Porco’s vice is also smoking, but in the form of vaping/juuling. Like everything else, it started in high-school. His habits were waning in college anyway, as he’d gotten better at handling his own anger/stress, but Marcel broke them for him; smashed all his vape pens and ran over the pods with his car for good measure. Porco was pissed in the moment, but he can realize it’s the best thing anyone’s ever done for him. His replacement has been eating candy when he’s stressed and gets the urge to smoke; but few things truly upset him to that point anymore, and the only thing proven to piss him off the point of clearing three packs of Twizzlers is fighting with you. And even then, Marcel isn’t happy; he’ll smack the candy right out of his brother’s mouth, forgoing Porco’s screaming of, “Look, it’s better than smoking, alright?” to smack some sense into him because, “I’m not paying for your root canal. So go talk to your girlfriend like an adult instead of ruining your teeth.” 

[unnecessarywriting]

Tolerate It (Part 2) - Harry Potter x Reader

A/N: So this is a little long, like 3x as long as part 1, but you know things happen! I hope you all like it and thank you for the love on part 1. Warning, it is a little angsty, but it gets fluffy at the end. Remember to send in requests!! Enjoy!

ALSO Italics are flashbacks!!!!

Part 1

Tolerate It (Part 2)

~ Your Morning ~

The night was spent with shots of firewhiskey and tears. There was nothing that could really prepare you for the feeling in your chest. Your body was convulsing from the sheer torment you had put it through. Luckily, you had someone who was there for you, but it didn’t make the pain ache any less.

When you woke up in the morning, your head ached from the alcohol and the crying. Your face was puffy from crying relentlessly, and your throat was sore from the inevitable coughing that comes with an intense session of tears and wails. Even your lungs were tired from all of the hyperventilating. You grabbed the shirt on your body pulling it to your nose, but much to your surprise you weren’t too familiar with the scent. That was when you acknowledged that your friend let you sleep in hers. When was the last time that you weren't wearing Harry’s shirts? These thoughts needed to leave you. You deserved to move on and be celebrated for everything that you are.

You made breakfast for your friend, and now roommate. She thanked you and complimented your cooking skills. It felt foreign to feel recognized for something so mundane. She offered to clean up, which you graciously accepted. You changed into some of her clothes so that you could go to work. You had managed to take half the day off, but the distraction from, well, let’s just refer to him as he-who-shall-not-be-named. Ironic right? Our hell has been killed, and yet a new one arises in his place. I would never have thought that he would become mine. 

All throughout your shift, you tried to keep your focus on work. “Be productive” became your mantra. Eventually, however, your time at work came to a close, and you knew that you had to get your things. You apparated and appeared in front of your old front door. Cautiously, you opened it. You knew he would be at work, but a small piece of you hoped that he would be moping around, waiting for your return. When you found nothing but silence, you couldn’t tell if you were relieved or disappointed. 

You knew how much time you had to gather everything you owned, but you didn’t want to risk him coming home and finding you, so you rushed. With everything packed up, you took a look around. The place looked quite empty. When you two had moved in, a lot of the decorating was your own doing. You wanted it to feel warm and inviting, despite who you had felt living there. Now, it looked like how the place felt. Your eyes glanced into the kitchen and you saw the dishes, piled high in the sink. Of course, he probably thought that you would come back and have them done. You scoffed and grabbed your things. When you arrived at your new place, you took everything you could and put it into your room. Emotionally, you were drained, so when you felt your eyes closing, you knew that your day had ended. 

~ Harry’s Morning ~

After you left, Harry stayed at the table. He pushed the food around his plate until his stomach warned him to finally eat. He was lost in his angry thoughts. Who were you to accuse him of such stupidity. He loved you, and he knew that he made it clear to you all of the time. You were just being obnoxious and clingy. You would get over it and all would return to normal. That night, he piled the dishes into the sink and walked into his study. He scribbled a letter to Ginny, where he explained how you walked out on him, and how you accused him of such atrocious behavior. Afterwards, he went to bed, feeling slightly colder than normal. 

The following morning, he was greeted by a chill. He looked over and saw your side of the bed unslept in. Of course you didn’t return in the middle of the night. He walked out into the kitchen expecting to see you there, but he was greeted with silence. The room smelt of the dinner you cooked the night before. He rolled his eyes to himself, and began to make breakfast. As he placed the bacon on the pan, the scent brought him back to one morning at Grimmauld Place.

“Harry!” You exclaimed as Harry hugged you. “I’m trying to cook. Leave me be!” You giggled.

“But I can help. I used to cook all the time for the Dursley’s. Then we can be done quicker and spend more time together.” His smile was so bright, and his tone remained mischievous. 

“Precisely Harry. You don’t have to be a slave anymore. Let me do this for you.” You turned around in his embrace after flipping the bacon. “Besides, after we are done with school, I’m gonna cook breakfast for you every morning just to show you how much I love you.” As you finished that sentence, you booped his nose and turned back to your cooking. Harry just smiled into the crook of your neck, fantasizing about his life with you.

After you finally managed to kick him out of the kitchen, he caught sight of his godfather, who offered a knowing smile.

“You know Harry, she’s a keeper.” Harry nodded in response, and turned around to watch you work.

“She sure is Sirius.”

You had kept your word. Every morning that you were together, you cooked breakfast for him. He ate in silence, like he did while he was with you, except this time, it felt different, almost eerie. He piled the rest of the dishes into the sink and finished getting ready for work. He wasn’t missing any of his shirts. That was unusual. He apparated to his job, trying not to think too much. 

“Hey mate.You look awfully tired today.” Ron was too joyful for his taste.

“Didn’t sleep well.” Was all he said. 

By lunch time, Ron had figured out that something was wrong. He had seen his friend when he was tired. Something was bothering him, and his irritable behavior was starting to piss him off.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong, or are you gonna continue acting like a prat?” Ron always had a way of getting the truth out of him.

“Y/N left last night.” Harry huffed.

“Whatever happened, I’m sure she’ll be back. She loves you.”

“Loved seems more accurate. She said I've been neglecting her.” As Harry spoke, it seemed like he became angrier with every word. “She accused me of not loving her or appreciating her, and then she walked out.”

“Harry, is it possible that she was right? Those feelings don’t just come out of nowhere. I mean the other night at Mum’s, you didn’t really look pleased to have her around. Maybe you should go and talk to her.” Ron thought he was being reasonable with his words. He wanted to side with his friend, but he was worried about you. You had been friends at school, and after the war, you had stopped talking to him and Hermione. He hadn’t seen you a lot recently, and he couldn’t but be concerned with you behavior the other night. You used to be bright and bubbly.

“All I’m saying Harry, is that Ron is reasonable about his fear of spiders, although you can be a bit of a scaredy cat,” you joked while nudging Ron. 

“Y/N I am not. Any fear I have is reasonable. Plus you didn’t see how big those spiders were. Plus I was 12. Even Fang was scared.”

“Yeah, and Fang is a scaredy cat too. Ask Hagrid. Now,” you jumped up from your spot and grabbed his fork, “admit that you’re a scaredy cat, and I’ll give you back your fork.”

“This isn’t funny. I’m very brave. I’m in Gryffindor.” You started to wander away from the table, giggles spilling from your lips. “Y/N, please c’mon. I’m hungry. Oh, fine! I’m a scaredy cat, okay? Terrified of giant spiders. Is that what you wanted? Now give me my fork back.” By the end, he was yelling in the great hall, and you were laughing uncontrollably at his desperate confession. You handed him his fork and continued to giggle.

“Brave sure, but you are pretty dumb Ron. There was another fork right there,” you said pointing to where he was sitting a moment before. Harry and Hermione just facepalmed at their friends’ shenanigans.

Your silent behavior was unlike you, and he knew there was something going on, but he didn’t get the chance to ask you about it. Harry left the conversation, frustrated with his friend, and he returned to his job. He needed to get his mind off of what you said the night before. 

On his return home, he half expected you to be back, waiting for him to come home so you could talk through things. He was met with a cold emptiness. Your things were gone. He rushed into your bedroom, and saw that half of the room was bare. There wasn’t an ounce of you left to grasp onto. He realized that you weren’t just in a fight. You were gone, and it was all his fault. He put his head down on what used to be your pillow. Your perfume was light, but the slightest whiff let him feel you. He hadn’t felt you in so long. You’ve always been there, but he wasn’t close enough to you to get the scent. You were right. He had been neglecting you. His tears began to fall as he held onto the only bit of you he had left.

“Look at what I bought! This is going to be perfect Harry.”

“Darling, you’ve done too much.”

“How dare you? This is so very important. When people come over, they need to be welcomed. They need to be in awe over how amazing I am at decorating. This is our place Harry! It needs to be perfect.” He was aware of how serious you were which made him smile to himself. You could be a lot to handle sometimes, but that’s what he loved about you.

“As long as you’re here with me, it will be perfect.” He nuzzled into you and breathed in the beautiful scent you omitted. You really were perfect.

Are perfect. You are perfect, and he just let you walk out the door. Worse than that, he allowed you to think less of yourself. He’s been through a lot of heartbreak and pain, but this was worse. Hell, he even died, but this was worse. He stayed in bed the rest of the night. He couldn’t bring himself to eat. Eventually, he fell asleep.

~ Your Response ~

You were doing better than you expected. You weren’t happy by any means, in fact you still cried yourself to sleep, but you were better. You worked your regular schedule, and you really put everything you could into your work. Your roommate was great, although you knew she would be. You two were friends. You still hadn’t fully unpacked yet. It felt as if you did, it would really be over, and you weren’t ready to let go just yet.

One morning, you felt that you needed to go out and do something productive. So, you went to Diagon Alley. You owe yourself a little shopping spree, and maybe you would get a gift for your roommate to thank her for allowing you to move in on such short notice. You had made your way through different stores. You found yourself outside a bookstore. You smiled at it, but it felt bittersweet.

“Is there a reason we need more books? C’mon dear, you aren’t Hermione. You don’t need to compete for who has more books. We barely have space for them.” Harry never understood why you wanted to buy all of these books.

“There is a very good reason Harry. I just haven’t told you yet.” You continued looking through the shelves, trying to find a book that jumped out at you and told you that it was a must read. 

“What do I have to do to find out?” He was watching you in awe.

“Find a book you want, and I mean really want. I don’t want you just picking up some random book. And then, I’ll be ready to tell you.” He took the challenge and began looking for the book. After about twenty minutes, he returned back to you, book in hand. You looked at it and smiled at him.

“So, why are we buying these?” You laughed and walked to the counter to check out.

“I said I would be ready to tell you. I never said that I would.” Harry playfully rolled his eyes and followed after you.

You never did get to tell him your reasoning for buying all of those books. A shame really, but now that you two aren’t together, they don’t mean anything. You sighed and walked to get some ice cream.

“Y/N?” You turned in the direction of the voice. A part of you wanted to just leave her standing there, but you knew that she would be persistent.

“How can I help you Ginny?” You tried to sound polite, but you were bitter.

“How are you? Harry told me about your fight.” Of course he told her.

“I’m fine. Now if you don’t mind, I was gonna get some ice cream and get home.” Except, it wasn’t home to you.

“Well, I was gonna get some ice cream too, so let’s get some together. It’s my treat.” You didn’t want to eat with her, but free ice cream was not something you were about to pass up. You nodded your head in response. You both ordered your ice cream, and took a seat outside. 

“I heard Harry’s side, but I think he left some things out. I was talking to Ron, and he said that you looked like you were going through something before your fight. We’re all worried about you two. I know that I may have overstepped a little bit, and I’m sorry, but you two are perfect for each other. I don’t think that I can handle being what came between you two.” You scoffed. She wasn’t at fault. Sure she was a part of why you were mad, but it wasn’t her fault that Harry stopped loving you.

“Listen Ginny, I don’t want you to feel like this is your fault, because it isn’t. Harry stopped caring about me a long time ago, and I finally realized it. I gave him everything, and he brushed me off. He was just dealing with me being there. I left because I deserve to be happy. I may not be there yet, but I can’t go back to be treated like a maid.” She seemed to understand. The two of you talked a little longer about how you were, her life, and her family. Eventually, you parted ways. You felt a little better knowing that she didn’t find you selfish or crazy. 

That night, you two didn’t cry yourself to sleep. You were still sad, but there were no more tears.

You were awoken to a familiar owl at your window. You grabbed the letter and opened it.

 Dear Y/N,

I know you hate me, but I think we should talk. There are things I need to say, but mostly, 

I need to apologize. In person. Please come back. Tonight, 7:30.

Love,

Harry

~ Harry’s Response ~

Harry was miserable. His days at work were unproductive. Ron was concerned, but he didn’t know what to do. He had never seen his best friend this distraught. He was beginning to look like Sirius did when he escaped from Azkaban. Harry would come home and whimper at the lack of you in his home. It used to be your home. The place was a mess. If you had seen it, you would probably scold him for being so irresponsible. 

It was a Saturday. He had nothing to do but sit around at home. He walked into his study, and found the pile of books in the closet. You complained that he had the study to himself, so you stole the closet from him claiming that you deserved it. He complied. Since you left, he hadn’t opened it. He was terrified of what it could possibly be, but his hand continued to the knob. Inside were all of your books. You kept buying more whenever you two would make your way to Diagon Alley. He never found out why you bought them, but he still wondered. He opened a few of them, and recognized your handwriting in the margins. They mostly consisted of your reactions to things that you read, or even just cute doodles that matched the story. 

He held a couple of them to his chest as he thought of you. He didn’t know how long he was sitting there. He was only interrupted by the call of his name. He reluctantly got up and looked for the owner of the voice.

‘Blimey Harry. You’ve destroyed this place.” Ron was there. Of course. Ginny stood beside him, looking disappointed.

“Harry, we need to talk about Y/N. You’ve been insufferable without her, and she’s struggling too,” Ginny stated. 

“How do you know how she’s doing?” Harry was really worried. 

“Ginny met with her today at Diagon Alley. Harry, when was the last time you cleaned at all? This place  is absolutely disgusting.” Ron winced at the sight of the kitchen.

“Harry, I’m gonna cut right down to it. You need to talk to her. You are killing yourself over your mistakes, and she is struggling to deal with how you treated her. Merlin, Harry, how could you let her down. Did you know that she really believes that you stopped loving her? The damage you’ve caused is almost irreversible, but I think you both need to talk. If not to sort things out, then to give you both closure.” Ginny had a point.

“I don’t even know how to talk to her. I don’t want her to see me like this either.”

“Mate, we don’t want to see you like this either, but we can fix that,” Ron exclaimed.

“She said that she is living with a Y/F/N.” Harry’s eyes lit up. He knew where that was.

“Harry, you are going to shower, and we are gonna start cleaning up this,” he motioned to the room, “and then you are gonna tell her to meet you here tomorrow night. It’s the least you could do,” Ron finished with a hopeful look. Harry nodded and retreated to the bathroom.

~ Together at Last ~

You were nervous to say the least, but you gathered yourself and apparated to the place you once called home. You knocked on the door. It felt foriegn, but you didn’t feel like you could just enter a place you no longer lived. You heard rustling from behind the door, and what you thought was a curse. Then the door opened, and you saw a slightly disheveled Harry smiling awkwardly at you. You returned the smile but stayed where you were standing.

‘Oh, come in.” He moved out of the way and closed the door after you. There was a smell in the house that you could only describe as burnt food.

“I’m sorry, I was trying to cook for you, but I think I lost that ability, and well, it’s not entirely edible. I ordered a pizza a little while ago. It should be here any minute.” Almost as if on cue, there was another knock at the door. He rushed to get it, while you stood observing the place. It was clean, but it looked dark and empty. 

You both walked over to the table where he placed the pizza. You sat down cautiously and eyed all of his clumsy motions. He was reminding you of how he was in school. Completely unaware of how to act in front of a woman. It was kind of funny, but you couldn’t bring yourself to smile. When he sat down, he looked up at you with a nervous glint in his eyes.

“I guess I should start by apologizing. I have a lot to say, so I ask that you allow me to speak this time. First of all, I am an idiot for so many reasons. The things I said to you that night were cruel and unreasonable, and I cannot put in words how sorry I am. You were right. I have no excuse for the way I treated you. I’ve been thinking, a lot actually, about us. I need you to know that I have never stopped loving you.”

“Harry-” you began.

“Let me finish please. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and losing you broke me. I need you in my life, not as a caretaker, but as my equal. I need you by my side because you make life so much better. I don’t know what happened, but as cliché as it sounds, I realized just how much I need you and love you after you left. I know you waited so long for me, and I did nothing but push you aside. I’m promising you now, if you take me back, and you come home to me, then I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will show you everyday how much I love you more than anything. So please darling, come home.” His eyes were glossing, and you could tell that he was being honest. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him this vulnerable.

“Harry, I hoped everyday that you would stop being cold, and would turn to me and confess just how much you love me. It never happened. I want to be with you because I love you, but I can’t help but be scared that you will resort back to your old ways. I don’t think I can take being someone that is underappreciated and unloved. I need time.” You were being honest with him. You couldn’t afford to push your feelings aside anymore. 

“Will you take me back? I want to start fresh, but I want you here.” His desperation was clear.

“Okay, but I need things to be slow for a while. I don’t trust you, but I love you.” He jumped up from his seat and walked over to you. His arms wrapped around your body. It had been so long since you were in his arms. Your scent made him sigh in relief, while his warmth let you relax into the embrace. This is what you had waited for. It had been so long, but it had been worth it. 

The following day, you both had taken the day off from work to move you back in and spend quality time together. You had stayed the night wrapped up in his arms. It was the best night of sleep either of you had gotten in far too long. You wrote to your roommate that morning telling her that you were moving out, but you promised to pay your part of the rent until she found a new roommate. She understood and was happy that you figured things out with the love of your life. 

You woke up before Harry, as per usual, and walked into the kitchen to start making breakfast. When Harry woke up, he was worried because you were no longer in bed beside him. He got up and walked into the kitchen to see you over by the stove. He smiled and found himself behind you, his arms on your waist. 

“Good morning love,” he said, sleep still heavy in his face. You smirked and kept cooking.

“You know, I would cook for you, but-” he started.

“But, you would burn down the place, and quite frankly, I don’t have any faith in your cooking abilities. Plus, I promised you breakfast every morning while we are together. I don’t like to break my promises.” You felt his smile grow in your neck.

The rest of the day consisted of Harry being glued to your hip. He missed you so much, and he didn’t want to spend any time away from you. After you had moved all of your things back into your home, you collapsed onto the couch from exhaustion. Harry sat next to you and wrapped his arms around your body. 

“Can I ask you a question?” You smiled at him.

“You just did, but go ahead,” you joked.

“The books in the closet. Why do we have so many of them?”

“Oh those? Well, I wanted to have something to give to our future children. Something I could share just between us. I know it’s kinda dumb, but I’d like to think that our kids would like to have that bond. Maybe even make it into a family tradition that they bring to their kids.” You said this with a slight blush forming.

“I think it’s brilliant. Remind me that we need to get some more.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, our children should have some from both of us, don’t you think?” You laughed and nuzzled closer into his body.

“I love you so much Y/N and don’t ever let me forget it.” He placed a kiss on the top of your head, and tightened his hold on your body. He would never let you go again. 

[dustofbrokenheart]

The Covenant: A Mess

Poly! Sons of Ipswich x Reader

Word Count: 2,497

Warnings: Slightly angsty 

Summary: Reader has been struggling with magic and feels miserable. Caleb and Pogue try their best to be loving and supportive. Requested by / in collaboration with @dhampiravidi​

Caleb trudged inside the apartment, the beginnings of a headache building behind his eyes. Taking his gray coat off, he followed the smell of spices into the kitchen. Chili, if Caleb had to guess. 

Pogue must’ve had dinner duty for the night. He made the best chili out of the three of them so they only ever ate it if he was the one making it. Sure enough, he was standing in front of the counter, his hair pulled back into a half ponytail, adjusting a setting on the slower cooker that was plugged into the wall.

“Chili?” Caleb asked, rubbing his forehead in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure.

“Chili,” Pogue confirmed. He turned towards Caleb, frowning when he saw Caleb massaging small circles above his eyes. “Another headache?”

Caleb sighed, lowering his hand. “Just a little one. They assigned me to that new case on Tuesday and I’ve been pouring over old court dockets ever since.”

Pogue didn’t say anything but he didn’t have to—the worry was clear on his face. Caleb was quick to smile and reassure him. “It’s like I said, just a small headache. No need to blow it out of proportion, Po.”

The longhaired boy wasn’t the least bit convinced, but didn’t push the lawyer further. Caleb was great at looking after people, but not so much when it came to himself. And if Pogue called him out on it, he would only draw further into himself. The key was to not bring it up and tread subtlety.  

“Okay, man. Whatever you say.” He sat down at the table, but not before sliding a bottle of aspirin over to Caleb who accepted it with a quiet thanks.

They quickly updated each other on their days. One of firm clerks was inviting everyone out for drinks next week: Caleb had said he’d get back to them after checking with the significant others. A real nice ’68 Chevy Nova had been brought into the garage for restoration: Pogue was excited to pop the hood and get to work. But it wasn’t long until Caleb noticed who was absent from the table.

“Where’s Y/N? She’s never been able to resist the smell of chili.”

“Rough day. She was crying when I got home and she’s been shut in the bedroom since then.”

“Crying? Why was she—” He cut off immediately. He knew, they both knew. You weren’t really a crier. In all of the time the three of you had been together, there was only one thing they had ever known you to cry about. “She tried Using again today.”

Pogue nodded, a severe frown on his face. He looked down the hall at the shut door, no sounds or light coming from the other side of it. “Looked like it to me. The spell book was already put away when I walked in, but she left the candles out.”

Caleb released a long breath and stared unseeing at the ceiling. How could he fix this?

Magic was a touchy subject. All three of you were witches and even if he and Pogue weren’t regularly Using, they didn’t impose their rules on you. After all, your coven had struck a different deal to gain their magic so they didn’t have to worry about you sacrificing pieces of your life whenever you tried to use it. But that didn’t mean they didn’t worry about you.

Using was…hit or miss with you. You had no problem performing large, high-powered magic. You had no problem blowing thing up or putting an entire bar full of people under a spell. But as time went on, it became apparent that you did not have the same ease when it came to more precise magic. And your struggles weren’t from lack of dedication or practice (you gave even Caleb a run for his money when it came to studying.)

The guys were incredibly supportive of your continued magic studies, but recently your mood had shifted and not for the better. After putting in so much time and effort, and still not having much to show for it, Using was starting to bring some emotional baggage to the surface. Seeing as how you’d been upset in the room for hours, they thought you were close to some kind of break.

Caleb tapped the table with his knuckles. “I’m going to check on Y/N and see if I can get them to talk to me.” He scraped his chair back and moved down the hall. He didn’t wait for Pogue’s reaction. He couldn’t. When someone he loved was struggling his immediate response was to talk with them and find a solution to the problem.

He didn’t bother knocking on the door—he knew that you wouldn’t answer anyway and that you had likely locked the door with no intention of opening it. Eyes went black briefly as he Used magic to override the lock. Normally, his rule was to only employ magic in times of emergency, but this definitely qualified as an emergency.

“Hi Y/N,” he said quietly, closing the door behind him. You were on your spot curled in the middle of the bed, body hidden under the comforter. “How was your day?” Your silence didn’t phase him as he joined you on the bed, wrapping his arms around you. “I heard you were practicing today, that’s great. I’ve always loved your drive.”

Still, nothing but silence from you.

He sighed and pulled the covers down so he could at least see your face. Your eyes were red and puffy but the crying was paused for the moment, your whole face lax as you stared through him rather than at him.

“Hey, now,” he whispered pressing gentle kisses to your forehead. “Come on, I want to hear about it.”

You pushed him away and he was relieved to see some reaction from reaction, even if it was annoyance.

“I really don’t want to talk about it, Caleb,” you stressed turning away from him. He tried to bring you back into his arms but backed off when he felt you stiffen up.

“It can’t be that bad.” More silence. “Just tell me. Please.”

The strong emotions that you had been trying so hard to hide exploded out of you and you were so upset that it wasn’t until after you finished that you realized how aggressive it sounded. “You want to know? Fine! It was a telekinesis spell. A simple freaking telekinesis spell. All I wanted to do was lift the frame that had our anniversary photo in it and guess what! And I ended up smashing it to pieces instead! There was glass everywhere and the photo is ruined, happy?”

You felt tears swimming in your eyes, whether from anger or sadness you didn’t know, and you ran with a huff to lock yourself in the bathroom. No matter what kind of tears they were, you refused to cry in front of Caleb. That would only make him more overbearing than he was currently.  

“You’re ridiculous,” you muttered as the tears started to flow. “All this time and you still mess up a basic spell. How can you call yourself a girlfriend to two Sons of Ipswich if you can’t even get that right?”

Caleb remained on the bed, looking at the bathroom door in grief. He had meant to help you and it seemed that he only made things worse. Sighing in frustration at himself he put himself back together and went back to Pogue who was still tending to dinner. There had to be something he could do, he just wasn’t sure what that something was.

“Well,” Pogue prompted, “How did it go?”

“Disastrous,” Caleb admitted. “I just ended up making Y/N even more upset and now they’re locked in the bathroom.”

“Hmm, that’s rough man.” A timer on the counter beeped, signaling that the chili was officially done cooking. Pogue took some ceramic bowls from the cabinet. “For both of you. Try not to get worked up about—Y/N will come around when they’re ready.”

“I am not worked up,” Caleb insisted. Pogue merely raised a brow and slid a full bowl to him. “Okay, maybe I’m a little worked up.”

“I knew it,” he smirked, pushing his long hair out of his face. “You can’t help it; it’s just who you are, man. But in this case, I’m telling you that you have to be patient.”

He sat down and took a bite from his own bowl, saw the worried look on the other man’s face. “I’m telling you. I learned this the hard way back in high school. Sometimes space is the best approach,” he said with a mouth full of food.

“If you’re sure…”

The two of them kept good on their unspoken promise and didn’t ask you about the incident again. You all still shared the same bed but even there they made sure to keep their hands to themselves, which you were grateful for. You didn’t feel the need for sex given your mental state. Just knowing that they were on either side of you was enough.

A part of you felt terrible for shutting them out, but an even bigger part of you couldn’t get over the hurt. Rationally, you knew that breaking the frame wasn’t that big of a deal. The guys would definitely fix it for you if you asked. Emotionally, however, you were a wreck. Productivity was at zero for the week. During the day you felt void, your brain numb. The night was worse, racing thoughts you couldn’t control as the continuous rewind of the incident playing on loop, preventing you from getting decent sleep.

Life was a mess. You were a mess. But there wasn’t much you felt like you could do about it; you were just hoping that you’d sort yourself out soon.

It was difficult for them for watching you going through it, especially for Caleb. He kept his word and didn’t question you like he had the first night but he hovering, struggling to master the need to make it better for you. Needless to say, he fed you breakfast in bed everyday that week.

Pogue was just as concerned. He never outright confronted you about it, that just wasn’t his style, but he did the dishes every day without complaint. He fidgeted more, even by Pogue standards. And unbeknownst to you, he was playing his guitar, something that normally happened when he was trying to sort something big out.

Somehow, he managed to hide it from you but he wasn’t so lucky with Caleb.

He leaned in the doorway, arms crossed. “How long have you been playing this one? I like it.”

“This week,” Pogue shrugged trying to downplay it. “The cords were easy to throw together.”

Caleb hummed and went to sit in front of the other man. Pogue started playing the tune again and Caleb found himself humming along after a few minutes. He wore a contemplative look. “Does it have lyrics?”

Pogue shook his head side to side, tossing his hair. “Nope. You know I’m not a good poet.”

Caleb nodded again, the same thoughtful expression on his face. “What if I wrote them?”

***

At the end of the week, you were slightly more recovered. The failure and unconference were still there but Pogue had convinced you to shower with him earlier in the day. It was nice to have clean hair and soft skin again. And you even managed to clear out your emails which always felt like an accomplishment.

“Hey, do you guys want to order takeout for dinner?” You walked out to the living room looking for your boyfriends. You were getting hungry and in the mood to socialize a bit more. For a second, you thought they were both out until you saw them out on the small porch. “Hello?”

They turned around with smiles on their faces and bid you to join them. It was a mild spring day and the setting sun left just enough heat to still be comfortable while sitting outside.

“Are you feeling okay?” Caleb asked, excitement just beneath the surface.

“A little better,” you answered eying the acoustic guitar in Pogue’s hands. Takeout cartons were arranged around the small glass table. “So…what’s all this?”

Pogue cleared his throat. “We wrote a song.”

“You…wrote a song?”

“A song for you,” Caleb further explained. “We’ve been working on it for you these past couple of days. Do you want to listen to it?”

“Y-yeah,” you said startled. This had not been what you were expecting when you came outside.

Pogue started strumming immediately, having already tuned beforehand. The pace was slower but purposeful, his fingers moving gracefully over the fretboard. Your heart fluttered, the notes sounding beautiful. Then Caleb started to sing. He was a graceful as ever, his voice blending in perfectly with Pogue’s guitar playing.

You were positively flushing. As romantic as the two of them were, they had never serenaded you before. In fact, no one had ever serenaded you. You were flattered. Giddy. Dazed.

The words touched your heart. The whole thing was so intimate, especially since they wrote it for you. They were pouring out the love they felt for you, the sadness that came with seeing you struggle. Unlaying the song was the assurance that things would get better.  

At some point, you’re not sure when, tears started to blur your vision. The song had barely ended before you threw yourself at them, hugging with all your might. The hugs were returned and you felt a kiss on the top of your head—Pogue. Caleb wiped away a stray tear that had escaped with the pad of his thumb.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to make you cry,” he murmured softly.

“Yeah, sorry baby,” Pogue seconded. Everyone was silent for a moment when he cracked a joke. “You should’ve told me that my playing was bad, I would’ve stopped sooner.”

You slapped his chest with no real force behind it. “Shut up. I loved it. These are tears of happiness.”

“That’s a relief. We’ve been worried about you, you know.”

You relaxed into their grasp, the oranges and pinks in the dusk sky further calming you. “I know. I tried to shake it off and be rational about it but I couldn’t. I’ve been…struggling.”

“We know. It’s alright. We’re here for you through the good times and the bad,” he promised.

“I j-just feel like a failure and I don’t want you to be embarrassed of me because I—”

“Stop it. We could never, never be embarrassed of you. You’re strong and kind and smart; what’s not to love?”

“Face facts, baby, you’re stuck with us for as long as you’ll have us.”

More tears gathered. “I love you two goofs.”

“I love you, too,” they said simultaneously, leaning in on either side to press a kiss to your cheek.

_______________

First poly fic I’ve written/published. Thanks so much for reading! And thanks to Jayn for the idea! 😊 If you want more Caleb content, here’s a recent fic of mine. Check it out! If you want more poly content, let me know that too. 

[hongnanglen-arina]

The Ulzzang Project - Part 3 | Jeon Wonwoo

 Read part 2  Read part 4

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Genre: a little fluff and angst, crack

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x female reader

Warnings: well, not too angsty I guess but I didn’t re-read.. oh and alcohol consuming

Words: 3.3k

A/N: Hello hello! Sorry for the rather long wait! I thought it could spice it up if someone else is thrown into the pot hehehe (: as always, I’d be happy to know your thoughts about it. Please remember that English isn’t my first language so excuse my grammar ♡

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You tapped the pencil against your chin. Working on a presentation wasn’t your thing and especially the beginning was the most stressful part, always. A brainstorming sketch was on a sheet of paper in front of you and between the person you were with. It was nice to work on it at a public place and you loved to have cafe sounds in the background. That’s why you suggested this cafe in the first place. You’ve already finished on a couple of presentations here and the vibe this cafe was giving you helped a lot. But you weren’t sure if it was the right decision today - for this presentation. You couldn’t hear the familiar sounds of people talking and relaxing with the coffee machine preparing the next order. All you could hear was whispering. Loud whispering. And you could feel the stares shooting holes in your body from every angle possible.

“We should write down some notes for the first part. Hasn’t be too much. Like in 20 minutes we compare our notes and decide what’s best?” You tried to ignore the glares you got, looking at the boy in front of you.

Yoon Jeonghan.

Actually you liked your professor but his idea to team you up with Jeonghan for this statistics project was stupid. All your prayers that he would change his mind or that Jeonghan would complain so much that you would get a different partner were useless. After he saw who you were, he even insisted doing it with you and you didn’t understand why.

So you just settled with the thought of doing it. Not that you had another option anyways.

But all those girls who were watching you two made you uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

Your project partner leaned back. “I’m fine if you start. I’m sure your pretty head is very useful for this.”

Somehow it didn’t surprise you. His attitude was exactly like you had assumed after everything you head… and also after seeing his Instagram. Was this boy really of no use? Tall and handsome but an asshole? Although you weren’t surprised, you still had some hope that not all good looking people were bad. Best example, your best friend Wonwoo.

The thought of Wonwoo caused you to sigh. Yesterday at this time, you were sitting outside on a bench with your friends. You could even see the place from where you were stuck with Jeonghan if you looked outside the window. After you discovered the new post with Wonwoo’s text, your break was over and everyone left for their next subject. Up until now you weren’t sure what he meant with it. It had to be a joke. Just something to gain more followers and likes. Something fitting for your fake couple page. But why did it make your heart skip a beat when you first saw it? You didn’t know what to say to your best friend or how to address the topic so you thought you would let him take the first step, which hadn’t happened. It made you angry for no reason.

You sighed again. This time louder.

“Are you mad at me?”

Jeonghan’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. “What?”

“You didn’t react when I was talking to you so I got worried.”

Quickly lowering your gaze, you flipped around an empty page, readjusting the pencil in your hand. “Oh no no, don’t worry. Everything’s okay. I already have some ideas for our project. Just give me a moment.”

The person in front of you smiled widely at your reply, which you missed out on because you were already scribbling down while your brain was working and distracting itself from your male best friend.

“Oh great! I can leave then, yes? Thank you y/n. We can discuss our project later. Maybe tomorrow, same time same place?” He got up from his chair and was about to turn around with a ‘bye’ when you stood up as well, calling his name.

“Yoon Jeonghan, let me remind you. This is a group project. A group project is supposed to be done as a group. In a group. You may decide who will focus on which part but what you just said sounded as if you expect me to do everything alone. Please tell me I’m wrong.”

He turned around to face you again, the smile still on his lips. “I knew your pretty head was useful. You got it absolutely right. I’m looking forward to the outcome. See you tomorrow then, y/n!”

He really was an asshole.

“Stop you little shit!”

Suddenly it was quiet around you but you didn’t care. You were angry.

“The fact that I was writing and actually trying to be productive wasn’t a hint for you to stand up and go away. I want to do this because I have to. No matter if you’re my partner or someone else. Knowing you better shows me that I would probably be happier with someone else that’s not as ignorant and dumb as you. I really hoped you would prove me wrong but it’s just the looks that you have. Everything else is bad. Anyways, if you leave now, I will talk to our prof and tell him about it. I won’t do it with you if you let me work alone. I will give you one more chance or I’m the one that’s off. So?”

Jeonghan looked at you with wide eyes. 

You were the first girl. The first that wasn’t following him. That wasn’t only agreeing to everything he said. The first girl that wasn’t head over heels for him.

You were different.

“So?” You repeated, slightly impatient. There were quite some places you would rather be right now than here with Yoon Jeonghan and is admires who were glaring at you for not treating him as the hottest and most wanted man on campus. Who came up with this nonsense anyways!?

“What.. do you… want me to do?” He finally asked you and the way he was standing in front of you seemed as if he was confused, scared even.

“The presentation. It has to be done. And for that, you and I will sit here and work on it.”

He slowly flops down on his chair again and for once you thought he looked cute but you quickly shook the thought off before sitting down again as well, taking your pencil again.

As you wanted to continue writing, you heard him clear his throat, causing you to look up from your paper. “What is it?”

“… can you give me a pen and paper?” 

It took you a second until you gave him the things he asked you for. Maybe he had nothing to write. Whatever the reason, you felt great that you made the ‘holy’ Jeonghan work on the project. Maybe he wasn’t an asshole after all.

—

You sat on the floor, back resting against you bed as you took a sip of the new smoothie your mother made. There were too many ingredients, you could only remember it had apple, chia, spinach and banana in it. 

Without noticing, your sleepy mind trailed from how you were working on your presentation with Jeonghan to the boy from your shared Instagram account. There was still no message on your phone from him. Did he just write it underneath the post without a meaning? Were you the only one who was trying to read between the lines to understand what he might wanted to say?

Absentmindedly you grabbed your phone to catch up with the things you missed while being with Jeonghan the whole day after your classes. After seeing again that there was no new message from Wonwoo in you chat app - only one from Chan, asking you if you had seen the new choreography video of a dance team you two liked - you changed the app and scrolled through your Instagram feed. Nothing interesting nor new. On Wonwoo’s personal page was no update. On your shared one was no update. Bored, you clicked the like button on a photo of Dokyeom and his selfmade pizza which looked amazing and a photo of Hoshi’s tiger plushie with the text ‘horanghae’. 

Sighing, the thought of your friend still bothered you. It unusual for him to be this quiet all day. Maybe you should take the first step and just start a conversation? Casually? There was still a high possibility that he wrote the sentence without a meaning so why not say hi?

[Y/n] Hey, what’s up?

Was that casual enough?

2 Minutes passed. No response.

5 Minutes passed. Still no response.

“Why is he like this?!” You whined, letting yourself fall to the side so you were lying on the floor when your mother came into your room after knocking twice. 

“Are you alright dear? Are you exhausted from uni? Or is my smoothie bad?? You can tell me honestly, I won’t get mad, I promise.”

You pouted and mouthed ‘uni’ and she nodded understandingly. “Rest then. You know, if you need anything, tell me. I can cook your favorite dish or prepare dessert. I can read you a book or cuddle you to sleep-“

“Mom!”

She laughed and waved apologetic. “Understand. My little girl isn’t so little anymore. Just call whenever you need me. I’ll be in the living room watching my drama.”

You thanked her and watched her leave your room.

Automatically you looked at your phone again, opening Instagram. While you were working on your presentation with Jeonghan, you two exchanged numbers and followed each other on the app. You had an actually nice conversation and got to know him a little better. He wasn’t so snobbish as you though he would be.

Your eyes were glued on Jeonghan’s update from 2 hours ago. It was a photo of you how you were concentrated on writing down your part from your project, two milkshakes in front of you. His had less while your own drink was almost full and untouched because you had a rush of ideas and decided to write them down before it disappeared. You didn’t know he took a photo. That’s when you saw the text he added to the photo.

Interesting. She might become a candidate (:

A candidate for what?? Cocking your head to the side, you wanted to know what he meant with it when your phone chimed, telling you about a new message. When you saw that it was from Wonwoo, your fingers tapped faster to read it.

[Wonwoo] Bored to death. You?

[Y/n] Same. Park in 30? Crave ice cream…

Maybe you replied too fast but you didn’t care. You were just happy he was talking to you even though you weren’t sure why you were worried he wouldn’t. There was no issue between the two of you or was it?

[Wonwoo] Deal. See ya

Although you were relieved he replied and even agreed to seeing you but something in you was still worried for some reason. But you couldn’t deny the little excitement in the back of your mind.

After finishing your smoothie and making your mother happy with it, you complimented her before leaving the apartment to meet up with Wonwoo. Even though it was dark outside, the fact that you were going to meet your childhood friend made your mother worry less. She knew that he was a good person and if something scary would occur, he would defend or help you first. 

With the familiar cheers and wishes that ‘your mother would be overly happy if you two would finally get together as a couple’, you left your home and made your way to the little park. You wondered if Wonwoo was already there. 

While you were walking, your thoughts traveled to everything that happened over the last few days. 

Last weekend, when you decided to start your shared Instagram and act as an ulzzang couple just to see how many likes and followers you could get within a month. The seemingly normal texts under his posts that made your heart skip a beat. The way he babied you more than once which he had never done before. The overall vide he gave was different. You could still recognize your bestie but there was something that had changed but you weren’t able to tell why that was or what it caused. 

Then to uni. Your presentation with the infamous Yoon Jeonghan who you disliked from the second you were introduced to him through your friends and their knowledge about him. He was too handsome that he just had to be arrogant and ignorant. It turned out that he is from the outside but strangely after you scolded him in front of everyone else in the cafe, he was very nice and cooperative all of a sudden. He even told you that he would work on the middle part and you could go through it tomorrow. You still didn’t fully believe him so you might prepare something in case it was all a lie. But you could do that tomorrow. Today your priority was Wonwoo.

When you arrived at the park, he wasn’t there. Maybe you were too happy and walked too fast?

Looking around and making sure that he really wasn’t around, you slowly made your way to the swing and sat down, slightly moving back and forth with your feet on the ground and hands around the chains on each side. You looked down when out of nowhere fear crept up your spine. 

Oh your friends: the ‘what if’s’.

What if he was disappointed in you for whatever reason? Maybe for not texting him sooner? What if he was mad at you for not using your shared account? At least not as often as he did? What if he wasn’t happy about Jeonghan teaming up with you for the presentation? But then again, it wasn’t your decision. He couldn’t blame you.

You shook your head. Those questions should go away. 

You knew why they have appeared.

Because you missed your best friend.

And combined with the fact that you felt his attitude was different over the last week just added to your pile of anxiety. 

A soft tap on your shoulder caused you to snap out of your thoughts. Wonwoo was standing beside you with melon ice cream in his hands, offering you one.

“Heard you wanted ice cream?”

Immediately, you smiled at him, a warmth rushing through your body as you finally saw your friend again and him paying attention to you intensified the relieve.

“Thank you.”

You took one and started eating it while Wonwoo sat down on the other swing, both of you enjoying your ice cream in silence. The noises of your surroundings were kind of far away from you, looking for words to start a conversation.

Once you finished, you looked at the boy beside you, just to notice that he was looking at you too.

“I missed you,” you said in unison and the moment your brains progressed it, you two looked away sheepishly.

It was stupid, you had to admit. It only had been a little over 1 day that you haven’t seen your friend but because of the overall situation, you were were like this.

Again, you were looking for words to form a sentence and to distract yourself from the red cheeks. “W-what were you doing when I sent the message?”

His head turned back to you when he started to talk, “I was playing an online game but it wasn’t my day today. They always killed me with ease. Wherever I was hiding, whatever I thought was a good tactic, they found me and ended my sad life. Your message helped. What about you?”

“Did nothing. Well, complimenting my mother on her new smoothie?”

Suddenly Wonwoo was chuckling. “Sometimes I envy you for not living alone as I do.”

“You’re not alone. I’m literally always at your place.”

Your reply made Wonwoo sigh and you tried to figure out why he was feeling down all of a sudden, waiting for him to answer your silent question but he asked you something else, changing the topic.

“How is your presentation going?”

It took you by surprise but you decided to give him an honest answer, just being happy to have a topic to talk about.

“At first I hated Jeonghan but he’s okay. Really. After I got angry at him, he actually worked on it with me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he even volunteered to prepare the middle part. You know, the most important part of the whole thing. He also listened to me and-“

“You got angry at him?”

“U-uh… yeah. That dude wanted to leave me alone and don’t help with it. Can you imagine? He really thought he could get away with it. But not with me, ha!”

He chuckled again, seemingly approving your previous outburst of anger with the other.

While you were watching Wonwoo from the side and admiring his crunched laughter, you remembered his Instagram post and started chewing on the inside of your cheek.

Wonwoo didn’t notice your nervousness as he was shaking his head at the thought of you making a scene in front of his fanclub. He wished he would have seen it happening. Something told him that it wouldn’t be the only occasion for you to lose your temper with him and that he may see it the next time if he sticked to you more often.

“Wanna skip tomorrow’s morning lectures with me?”

The question left your lips faster than you could think and surprised you as well as him when you met Wonwoo’s expression, but his was quickly followed by a smirk.

“Do I smell a mario kart session with greasy food?”

“Yep.”

Hearing his amused snort made you happy for some reason and when he got up and held his hand out for you to grab and follow him, you did as he wordlessly asked and went to his place, hand in hand. Like you often did.

It seemed as if your anxiety was for nothing. He was the same when you arrived at his place, got out of your shoes and offered you a can of beer. He was the same when he asked you what you wanted to eat. He was even the same when he took the last bite of your dish without asking beforehand. And he was the same when he started a fight when he lost against you at mario kart 4 matches in a row. You felt as if it had been a decade since you laughed as much.

You made a mental note not to think too much again when it comes to your best friend.

After a while you two changed to more comfortable clothes as you opened your third can of beer, Wonwoo was on his fourth. That was exactly what you needed. Although it wasn’t the best decision but numbing your previous doubts and fears and enjoying the company of your bestie was the best right now.

“I love spending time with you y/n.”

Thanks to the alcohol in your system, you weren’t too shy to react to his words and felt kind of adventurous. “Thanks for the kind words but to be honest I expected to hear that you want to take your sexy photos now that I’m drunk.”

“Ha ha ah… you’re not completely wrong though.” Wonwoo readjusted his glasses and took a sip of his beer when you said, “Okay. let’s do this.” Your friend nearly choked on the alcohol but asked again what you just said, just in case he heard wrong.

“I said, let’s take those photos for our Instagram.”

[alls-fair-in-pride-and-prejudice]

Fluff Fandom Fic Request: Modern day Aaravos coming home to significant other who's had a rough day and he tries to cheer them up and they be cute n shit idk go nuts xD

Modern Day Aaravos x Reader - Chase the Darkness Away

A/N: The premise of this AU I’m using is that in the centuries that Aaravos was in the mirror, Xadia advanced to modern day technology. So, we still have magic and Aaravos is still the same sparkly elf. How did he escape the mirror? How did he meet the reader? Who knows and who cares! As I told you, king-bito in a private message, I turned this into therapy for myself, so it might be a tad more angsty than I planned. Sorry, but hopefully it can provide you or someone else some comfort in a dark time.

“Darling? How long have you been sitting there like that?”

I did not hear him come in, curled in on myself in a ball on the couch. I straighten myself, causing my back to protest in pain. “Um… what are you doing home already?” I ask, hastily wiping at the dried tear tracks on my face.

Aaravos furrows his brow ever so slightly. “It’s six pm.”

Oh… that means I have been sitting like this in my miserable state for… seven hours. My stomach growls, protesting the fact that in that time I forgot to eat. Aaravos sits next to me, reaching out to take one of my hands in his, unclenching my fists with some gentle prodding. “When was the last time you ate?” His lovely voice is laced with concern and gentleness.

Ashamed, I mumble my answer, “I had some cereal around ten-thirty.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not enough. You need to take care of yourself.” With surprising strength (or not so surprising, he had a lot of time to build up his strength during his solitude) he pulls me off the sofa and shoos me to the bathroom. “Go take a shower while I make dinner. You’ll feel better, and I expect you to eat when you get back.”

He has such a commanding presence that even my depressed ass cannot refuse him, although my shower consists more of staring into the void than actual cleaning. When I return with towel-dried hair, Aaravos is putting the finishing touches on a pasta dish. His options for sustenance were so limited in the mirror that he has really taken to cooking ever since regaining his freedom. When I sit down at the kitchen table, he places a heaping portion in front of me. “Try not to eat too fast; I would not want you to get sick.”

He sets up his own serving and sits next to me on the small table. All I can do is stare at the food in front of me as tears well up in my eyes. Aaravos stops in the middle of a bite to lean over and stroke my cheek, catching a tear with his thumb as it spills over my lashes. “What’s going on, love?”

I do not deserve him, this gorgeous, magical man that, after a long day, comes home to see me having done nothing of worth and sets about taking care of me with barely a word. I feel too pathetic, too weak to be in his life, and there seems to be nothing I can do about it, about the demons that came to plague my mind and body today. There is nothing I want more than to be better for him, to rely on my own strength instead of having him help care for me. Why should he care about my struggles? When will he see that I am not worth his love and leave me?

But on top of everything else wrong with me, my voice decides to stop working now, too, and I cannot share with him what troubles me. Aaravos waits patiently for me to answer until all I can give him is the indication that I cannot speak. He pulls his chair closer to me and touches his fingers to my forehead. “May I?” he is asking permission to use a spell on me, to which I nod.

With a few muttered words and a sweeping motion on my head, his eyes begin to glow, light sunlight shining through an opal. I bring all my thoughts to the surface, all the pain and conflicting emotions, hoping he will understand. When the light fades, Aaravos pulls me into an almost crushing hug, arms like a vise around me. “It’s okay, I understand,” he whispers in my ear.

When he pulls away, he takes a forkful of food and holds it up to my mouth. “Please just eat a few bites,” he requests. Then, with a teasing tone and that hot smirk of his, he adds, “Do not make me feed you, I know your pride would not survive it.”

I take the fork from him and eat a bite. It is delicious, of course, because apparently this elf has to be amazing at everything he does, the lovely bastard. We set about eating together in silence, until I see a butterfly flit over my food. It floats along and lands on the back of my hand, wings opening and closing lazily. It looks like a piece of the night sky was caught on its wings.

Glancing up, I see the entire kitchen covered with these butterflies, flitting around and glowing like fireflies. It makes the room feel like a planetarium and butterfly garden all at once, my two favorite places to go brought to our home. I leap out of my seat to enjoy the sight better. They are clearly illusions, since they disappear if I touch their wings, and I cannot feel them if they land on me, but I could care less for how beautiful it looks. I twirl in the swarm of butterflies, my worries temporarily forgotten. Aaravos stands from the table to hug me from behind and presses a kiss to my shoulder. “It is good to see you smiling again.”

I lean back into him, turning my head to kiss him on the lips. “You’re an expert at making me smile.”

Aaravos continues to hold me, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Did you think I spent every day in my prison constantly productive? Reading and improving myself and attempting to escape?”

I am a bit surprised by the question. “Well… yeah I guess I did,” I admit.

Aaravos chuckles, a hollow sound that seems almost sad. “I did not. There were days that all I could manage was to stare into space, days I felt so numb that I could barely move. I did my best, but there were many times that my best only consisted of breathing.” He spins me around in his arms so I can see the sincerity in his golden eyes. “So, do not, for a moment, believe that I think less of you for these days you struggle. I help you because I care about you and because I had no one to help me.”

When I am in pain, I can forget about how much Aaravos has been hurt, especially since he carries himself with such grace and strength. I pull his face to mine so our foreheads touch, a reminder to the both of us that we are no longer alone.

One by one, the butterflies dissolve into stardust and disappear, and when we go to bed, we hold each other close, the mere presence of the other enough to chase the demons away for a little while, leaving us refreshed to fight again in the morning.

[asthmark]

❝ not alone ❞, l.ty

synopsis → “you know, every reset we’re supposed to forget everyone and everything but no matter what i can never seem to forget how happy you make me.”

word count → 2.5k

warnings → angsty!!! the plot may not make sense since it’s literally 1 in the morning oops

a/n → i hope this concept makes sense and it isn’t too confusing or messy!! if it is just shoot me an ask i would be more than happy to clarify :] anyway i actually like the outcome of this but i am too tired to go back and reread it all for any mistakes so i just hope google docs has my back lol gn everyone

7:00 A.M.

the alarm you set for every year at the exact hour goes off at its appointed time, much to your dismay. the mere sound of your phone beeping has a knot forming in your stomach. you wished it would stop, that everything would just stop but that was beyond unrealistic. in fact, you felt foolish for even letting yourself think like that. no matter how badly you wanted things to change, they never would. you would have to endure the same things every year.

you had struggled to fall asleep the night before, that exact thought on your mind and the dread of facing the following day eating away at you. you had only managed to get some rest because of taeyong, who held onto you tightly and caressed your hair as he whispered sweet words to ease you into much needed sleep.

but the day was here now and there was no amount of romantic words or tender touches that would change that. there was absolutely nothing either of you could do about it.

you lean over towards your nightstand to turn off the alarm and taeyong stirs when he feels you begin to shift around in his arms. you lay beside him, staring up at the ceiling as he slowly begins to wake up. he yawns and stretches his limbs out on the mattress which was routinely for him. this would usually be followed by him trying to give you a smooch only for you to squirm away, giggling as you complained about his morning breath.

it is not one of those mornings.

8:09 A.M.

you end up having cereal for breakfast, another big switch up from your routine. normally, you two would browse the internet in search of a recipe that looked promising and try your best to recreate it. you would end up with flour, sugar and dirty dishes all over the place but you never cared. then you would sit at the couch, happily enjoying the finished product and chatting with the tv playing softly in the background.

that morning you sit at the dinner table silently, the cereal in your bowls going soggy before either of you had made a dent in it. you had lost any appetite and from the looks of it so has taeyong.

“you should eat.”

you glance up at your boyfriend. he isn’t eating either, instead he focuses on dipping his spoon into his cereal, bringing it above the bowl only to let it fall back in again. you put your silverware down. “i don’t think i can.”

he hums softly, agreeing with you. “are you nervous?”

it went without saying that you were both terrified. but you know he’s just trying to make conversation. you just nod your head anyway.  

10:31 A.M.

you and taeyong move to sit on the couch, turning on the tv so you don’t have to bear anymore uncomfortable silences.

even the newscaster looks down in the dumps, as expected. her voice lacks emotion as she speaks about the forecast, knowing nobody would be taking genuine interest unless it was to get their mind off of the current situation.

what did she expect? the world was restarting, people weren’t going to care about the weather.

“now, for the ongoing events,” says another news anchor. “as we are all well aware of, today is the annual reset. businesses worldwide have closed, most people opting to spend the day with their friends and family and we advise any viewers to do the same. talk to your loved ones about the memories you’ve made in the past year and write down the things and people you do not want to forget.”

you turn to taeyong only to find his gaze is already focused on you. you don’t hesitate to grab the hand that rests in his lap and intertwined his fingers with yours. neither of you say a word as you go back to watching the television, taeyong giving your hand a reassuring squeeze every so often.

12:46 P.M.

by noon, you and taeyong had begun cleaning your apartment, making sure it was well organized so that the next day you could focus only on getting settled in to your, essentially, new lives. you do the standard dusting and vacuuming along with similar around-the-house chores. while going through the closet, taeyong finds a shoe box full of polaroids you two had taken throughout the years. there are dates and other additional notes scribbled in sharpie on every single picture so your post-reset selves could read about the details of each photo since you would not be able to remember it. he calls out your name, smiling brightly when he sees your face light up as you fondly look over your shared moments.

“i’m so glad we got that camera,” you say, shifting through a stack of the photographs.

he nods. “probably your best idea yet.”

you find a picture of him giving you a piggyback ride and coo. it’s quite blurry but you can clearly see the huge grins on your faces. “look at us.” you hand him the photo. “we look so happy.”

he makes a noise of agreement, staring lovingly at the image. “you know, every reset we’re supposed to forget everyone and everything but no matter what i can never seem to forget how happy you make me.”

“quit it.” you shove his shoulder, smiling sadly as you attempt to blink away the tears forming in your eyes. “i don’t want to cry right now, there’s still so much work to do.”

“it can wait.” he opens his arms and that’s all it takes for you to break. you crawl into his embrace, sobbing softly into his chest. it tugs at his heart strings. he tucks his chin above your head but you still notice how his shoulders shake and quiet hiccups escape his lips.

3:28 P.M.

once you and taeyong get tired of being confined to your apartment, you decide to go out for a breath of fresh air. you walk around aimlessly and your final destination turns out to be olympic park. as expected, it’s quite empty since as you had heard on the news, everyone was spending their last couple hours with those they loved in private.

you take in the beautiful scenery and if either you catch sight of a pretty rock or blooming flower, you will stop to pick it up and carefully place it in your pockets for safe keeping. you had found that they served as good reminders of all the time you spent together. in fact, there are many more of these mini souvenirs in your home, decorating your shelves.  

“hold up,” says taeyong suddenly.

when you look at him his eyes have zeroed in on something on the ground. he kneels down and picks up a smooth rock. you can’t help but notice the familiarity of it’s color.

“pretty, right?” he says, dropping the item in the palm of your hand. “it matches your eyes.”

you smile at him, finding his attention to detail incredibly endearing. you hold on to the rock, feeling its curves with your fingers until a cluster of chrysanthemums catches your attention and you have to free up your hands to pick one. you decide on a yellow one and present it to your boyfriend.

“here,” you say. “for you.”

“hey, aren’t i supposed to be the one giving you flowers?” taeyong asks but he takes it from you anyway.

“you’re supposed to give flowers to people you like,” you say. “and i like you.”

“you like me?” he asks, gasping softly. “how embarrassing.”

you go along with his joke. “don’t you like me too?”

he shakes his head and makes a face. “no way... i love you.”

you shove his shoulder. “so cheesy.”

he can’t argue with that so he just nods and chuckles as he tucks the chrysanthemum into his dark locks of hair. at seeing this, you raise the polaroid camera round your neck toward taeyong and he, already used to it, automatically poses for you. he puts his arms over his head, curving them into a kind of crooked heart. he gives an open mouthed smile only resuming to his normal position when he hears the click of the camera. you and him share a laugh once the polaroid picture develops completely.

“oh god, i look ridiculous,” he comments. “please get rid of that.”

you only give him a sarcastic, “yeah sure” and continue walking.

you two never got rid of pictures, no matter how ridiculous or unflattering they were. you agreed that every moment you shared counted and deserved to be remembered.  

although, they never would be.

5:45 P.M.

you chew on the cap of your pen, massaging your aching hand. you had been writing for almost an hour and you had your cramping fingers to prove it. despite the discomfort, you aren’t one to break tradition. the ‘things i love about you’ list was an ongoing thing you and taeyong had been doing for... ever. they definitely came in handy if either if you wanted to read about what the other was like in past years.

“everything good over there?” taeyong asks, from the other side of the couch.

you shake your head. “this is too hard. i have no idea how i’ve kept this up for four years.”

he puts a hand over his heart. “wow, i’m that hard to love, huh?”

“you know that’s not what i meant,” you say, glaring. “i just have so much stuff to say about you, so much stuff i want future me to know.”

he nods, solemnly. “i get it. i don’t want to leave out a thing but it’s kinda hard to fit a year’s worth of feelings and emotions into a couple pages.”

your let your head fall onto the couch. “why do you have to be so lovable?”

taeyong points an accusing finger at you. “i could ask you the same thing! you’re the most wonderful human being on the planet, if i try to write everything i love about you my hand will fall off!”

you sit up to stare at him. he looks genuinely offended by your ‘wonderfulness’. you pick up your pen and paper.

adorably dramatic, you write.

he scoots closer to you, exclaiming, “hey, what did you just put!”

you hug your notepad tightly to your chest. “no peeking!”

7:12 P.M.

your boyfriend hands you his letter with hopeful eyes. unlike the lists that had been made hours earlier, these writings had been in the works for quite some time. there are letters you and taeyong had written for each other dated all the way from 2016. that was also the year the first polaroids you owned were from so you both assumed it was when you had begun dating. if you ever want to have a good cry, all you have to do is find those letters.

in them, there are heartfelt words for the other person’s eyes only describing how they felt around them, why they were so special, among other sentiments. most importantly, though, you always included why you would never forget the other person. of course, one could say how ironic this was considering that forgetting was what the reset was all about but nevertheless, it was reassuring to read. it made your love seem unbreakable; something so strong it defied the impossible.  

you give taeyong your letter, feeling somewhat nervous. he doesn’t hesitate to open the envelope carefully. he slowly removes your letter from inside and you mirror his delicacy. the pair of you sit in absolute silence as you read the words off the pages.

my y/n,

what an amazing year it’s been with you. i know i say that in every letter i write but it’s really true. i never wrote things like this before you came along. only the basics—my name, who my parents were, my birthday, etc. you know, things like that. frankly, i had nothing else worth remembering. but now i do. you’re my whole world, the only thing i truly know and i am convinced i could not be any happier or luckier.

i don’t know what a life without you is like literally but i wouldn’t have it any other way. the situation the world faces with this whole reset mess isn’t ideal and i’ll oftentimes think of what a normal life would be like. even then, in this perfect universe, you’re still by my side.

i still wake up next to you.

i still spend every waking moment with you.

i still fall asleep with you in my arms.

you are still my everything. i am convinced you always will be.

many people avoid love or close relationships nowadays knowing that at the end of the year it’ll all be erased no matter what. how dumb is that? they don’t know what they’re missing out on. having a partner is nothing short of a blessing and you’ve taught me that by being with me every step of the way. sure, forgetting our past together doesn’t get any easier and neither does writing these letters but i’d write a million of them if that’s what it took to have you by my side.

i can only hope you’ll continue being there for me and give me something worth remembering in future years.

you are the light of my life and i can’t wait to fall in love with you again.

yours truly,

taeyong

the tears stroll down your cheeks and drip down on to the paper in your shaky hands. you use your sleeve to try and wipe them away to the best of your ability without smudging the ink. taeyong finishes reading your letter moments later, placing on the coffee table and only staring at you with a distant look in his eyes.

your voice comes out in a whisper. “are you okay?”

he nods, sniffling but his shiny eyes say otherwise. “can you maybe just... hold me?” his voice cracks along with your heart.

he ends up with his head in your lap, your fingers pulling and tugging at his soft hair. you have a couple hours left but you wouldn’t be opposed to leaving the year in this exact position.

11:59 P.M.

taeyong has made it clear he wants you to be the first thing he sees when you enter the new year. so, you spend your last minute getting into a position that will allow that.

you end up sitting sit cross-legged across from him. he’s in the same position and in the small distance between you, your fingers meet. the hold he has on your hands is so tight his knuckles have turned white. his eyes bore into yours and although he doesn’t say a word, his hazel orbs let you know it’s all going to be okay. you repeat those words to yourself.

it’s going to be okay.

it’s going to be okay.

it’s going to be okay.

“i love you,” you blurt.

he only has a couple seconds to respond.

“i love you, too. if you’re going to remember one thing, let it be that.”

[mystic-kitten-writer]

this might seem random but what are your thoughts on the netflix live action atla remake? it seems like you’ve been a fan for a long time so i’m curious

Anonymous said:

Did you hear? Creators left neflix over reative difference. What do you think?

Anonymous said:

creators quit the ATLA live-action Netflix show, whatchu think?

Anonymous said:

Bryke left the production for atla live action...its going to be shit.

I got tons of messages last night about Avatar the Last Airbender Live-Action, in production by Netflix (even more than what I copied and pasted here). I just figured I’ll answer this before getting back into writing as I’m taking a break anyway.

In short, I was always consciously optimistic. 

We got burned hard by the movie we shall never name, but knowing that the creators were on the production team for Netflix had given me a glimmer of hope.

But now that the original creators are gone?

I’m high-key scared and extremely nervous.

It’s important to understand that the creators of Avatar aren’t perfect people. They make mistakes, may have some out-there ideas. Still, ultimately, via a group effort with the original Avatar production team, they were able to create an amazing and heart-touching story. A story that still has a strong fanbase despite the show being more than 10 years old.

And now, after working with Netflix for two years, they have called it quits.

I can’t imagine, as someone who has created Limerence, working on something for that long and quitting.

Them leaving due to creative differences isn’t a matter of some small changes.

I read their posts explaining the situation and those messages aren’t your typical corporate talk of ‘we’re no longer working together but we love each other.’

They burned bridges, which means these changes are quite big and were a breaking point.

As much as we all love the original ATLA series, the redemption arc, the lore behind bending, and so much more - there were flaws.

I’m pretty sure that the creators (I believe they mentioned in an insta post?) said that they’ll be given more time in each episode to explore a few themes or scenes that they didn’t in the animation. Therefore, we can assume that rather than changing the plot, they were keeping accurate to the story, but fixing those loose ends and making specific plot points more apparent. Taking the show from amazing to perfect. 

But now with Netflix and these ‘big changes’ - I’m 99% sure what these changes are.

As much as I hate to say it, I’m pretty sure Netflix is going to take ‘a family-friendly show filled with adventure and growth’ to a ‘teenage love story filled with drama and a side order of adventure.’ 

Netflix has produced some fantastic shows, but they also produced some smelly shit like the Death Note Live Action. 

White-washing is most likely going to be a thing.

Ageing up the character to ‘sex-up’ the show (Riverdale x ATLA cross over - is that you I see in the distance?)

A love triangle between Zuko, Katara, and Aang (because people love pointless love triangles)

And the cherry on top is Mai is going to be the ‘villainized’ crazy ex-girlfriend (people already shit on her character, might as well add fuel to the fire).

They’re going to make characters like Sokka nothing more but comic relief.

Zuko into some angsty ‘bad boy.’

Aang is either going to be infantized OR - they’re going to westernize his character so he can fit the westernized perspective of what is conventionally ‘attractive’ (in other words, a Zuko 2.0). 

I’m listing all these things on the top of my head, and I’m doing this because I already know how Netflix works. This is the shit they pull, and it’s sad.

I’ll be honest, when the show comes out, I’m going to wait for reviews before I watch it. But I swear, if this show ends up becoming a love triangle and the bending and stuff is a side dish - I’ll sue.

I pray they keep the show family-friendly, fix the loose-ends and add a few scenes (like Aang apologizing for the kiss he stole from Katara. Sure they like each other, but Katara was rightfully upset, and Aang was clearly regretful about it afterwards, but adding a scene of him apologizing and Katara accepting it versus us speculating would be amazing and make such a statement). 

And while all the things I listed above could totally still happen even with the original creators on board, I highly doubt it. With the great flop of the live-action movie and how pained they were with that, making sure this was amazing was personal.

We can only hope Netflix doesn’t mess it up because judging by the reactions of the fandom, people aren’t impressed.

[kasdeyathebitterwoman]

Running Mate - Part 11

Running Mate Part 11! Oh my gosh, this one got real angsty real fast! I’m going to do my best to keep that to a minimum going forward, lol. 

Word Count: 4,434

CW: mild language, cyberbullying

taglist:

@maeleeme @andyrazzledazzle @oddsnendsfanfics @fanfictionaddiction99 @henrycavillluv32 @jhenno2002 @xceafh @severuined @queenslandlover-93 @thummbelina @chamomilebottom @deep-in-my-thoughts13 @henryslilprincess @mitzwinchester

The day after your birthday, you took your mom and in-laws out shopping around London. On day two, you took anyone that wanted to on a trip to Paris where you walked around the Louvre and spending most of your time at Versailles. Henry was able to tag along which meant he got to spend more time watching you make a fool of yourself. He'd come to love traveling with you because you were amazed by just about everything. For example, the hall of mirrors at Versailles. 

“You don’t have to whisper,” he said out loud to you. Violently, you waved your hands at him and loudly shushed him. He laughed with raised eyebrows and watched you stare in awe at the ornate structures. James was with you as well so between the two of you, Henry got a glimpse of your directing skills and found himself developing a deeper admiration for you. Helen noticed the way he watched you. She noticed how attentive he was but how he also gave you your space. She could tell, he was very different from the last one. While you and James were filming, she got a moment alone with him. 

“How did the two of you meet?” she asks, looking up at Henry. He smiles at the memory. 

“She was running faster than me,” he replies. He glances at Helen who looks a little confused. “I was running along the countryside, actually around James’ house, as was y/n,” he explains. “She ended up lapping me several times,” he pauses, smiling. “She was the cutest thing I’d ever seen and I wanted to get to know her so I asked her out,” he looked over at Helen. She smiled up at him with a knowing smile, then she looked over and beamed at her daughter, who was laughing with James about something.

“Did you always want to be an actor, Henry?” she asks, turning her attention back to him. 

“Honestly, no,” he states. “I thought I would go into rugby or the Royal Marines like my dad or my brother,” he explains. Helen gives him an approving look. Then she laughs. 

“Y/n thought she would be everything from a marine biologist to a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader,” she says and Henry bellows at the thought of you in a skimpy cheerleader outfit, doing some silly routine.

“And somehow she ended up in film,” he stated, laughing with Helen. 

“Oh, she was always filming,” Helen stated. “If she wasn’t filming, she was taking pictures. She’s always been looking at the world through a lens,” she explains. They both look over at you as you pack up your gear and walk over to them. 

“Hey,” you say breathlessly, stepping next to Henry. Your mom looks back and forth between you before breaking out in a wide smile. 

“Gosh, y’all are just so cute!” you and Henry blush a little. 

“Mom!” you hiss, thoroughly embarrassed. Henry tips his head back and bellows again. You scrunch up your nose and him and he does it right back to you. Your mother giggles the whole time watching. The three of you join the others and wander around the gardens for a few hours. Henry is stopped multiple times by fans for pictures and autographs. As usual, he’s very kind and understanding. Your family watches from the side. 

“Is this normal?” Ellen asks you.

“Pretty much,” you say nodding. She looks almost appalled. “It doesn’t really bother me,” you add with a shrug. She takes what you say, nodding her head, though she clearly doesn’t agree with you. When he gets a chance, Henry says goodbye to his fans and trots back to you. Without a word, he takes your hand so you can go back to “normal” with your family. You interlace your fingers with his and he gently squeezes your hand. You glance up at him, smiling, happy that your hand fits perfectly in his. 

Later, when everyone is sitting at a cafe munching on snacks and drinking, he holds your hand in his lap. Your mother notices and smiles to herself. She doesn’t say anything, but she is thrilled to see how happy you are with Henry. Finally, it’s time to go back to London. Helen wants to get home with enough time to pack and rest. They have an early flight the next day to head back to the states. With a bittersweet goodbye, you leave everyone at James’ house then head back to your flat with Henry.

“Do you have anything you’d like me to take back to my place?” he asks, following you in. You laugh as you turn to face him. 

“It’s literally been a day since you gave me those keys,” you reply and he smiles goofily at you. 

“And?” he asks, wrapping his hands around your waist. “We could always take that box you mentioned to the Thames,” he states. 

“Oh no, that will require a blood sacrifice,” you explain dryly. He giggles then leans down to give you a sweet kiss. When he reluctantly leaves, you stare at the closed door for a while running your thumb over your lips, still feeling the tingle of Henry’s kiss. The next morning you drive to the airport to see your family off. You hold it together hugging your mom and your dad, waiting to get back to your car to cry. It’s only for a brief moment, but the weight of watching your family fly away hits you harder than you expected. Maybe it’s because you know you won’t be able to see them again for a while. Maybe it was Henry and all these new emotions you didn’t know how to deal with. Whatever it was, you drove home in silence, refusing to acknowledge anything you felt in the moment. 

Over the next week and a half, you split your time between research and packing. Henry was starting training for a new role, so he didn’t have much time to spare. When he was available, he worked with you moving your things to his house and unpacking them. For the most part, though, you worked with his assistant to take your things to and fro. On the days when you couldn’t pack, you were doing research. National Geographic had graciously offered their resources to you for work on your project with them. That meant you had to go into their offices about twice a week for meetings, updates, and more. You worked with a research team that you found very enjoyable and interesting, especially the grad-intern Callie. She was with a similar sense of humor and outlook of the world to yours. You joked with her most of the time while the two of you worked on finding more information about the area you would be filming in. You gave her the task of finding filming locations, the history behind them when applicable, and more information that would be necessary for the final proposal. 

The thing about documentaries, which you explained to Henry one night over dinner, was that they were incredibly meticulous pieces of work. 

“It’s just like a traditional movie,” you say. “You have to have a proposal which details everything from start to finish. The budget, hotels, equipment needed, the research you’ve done, interviews you’ve completed, and so on,” you take a bite of the steak that Henry grilled for you. “By the way, this marinade is fantastic,” you mumble through your bite. Henry laughs. 

“Well, thank you,” he replies. “How would you have the interviews if you haven’t actually filmed anything?” he asks, cutting up a piece of his own steak. 

“Pre-interviews,” you state. “Either through phone calls, emails, or by physically going to that person and talking with them,” you explain. Henry bobs his head in understanding. “We’ve got quite a bit so far through emails, but we may need to schedule phone interviews. Or, I may just see if I can tack on a few pre-interviews with a scouting trip soon,” you add. “If I get the okay to do that, I’m going to see if I can take Callie and Peter,” Henry smiles at that. 

“You like them, huh?” he asks and you nod. 

“I do, they’re good kids,” you say, smiling at your plate. Suddenly, Henry clears his voice loudly. 

“Listen, y/n, I need to talk with you about something,” he states. You look up at him. “I’m going to be getting further into my training over the next few days. Soon, I’ll be flying out for pre-production on this film,” he says and you bob your head a little, already aware of these facts. “While I’m working, I’ll be working closely with the Wade Eastwood stunt team, with,” he stops and looks you directly in the eye. “With Lucy,” you feel your whole body pause as he attempts to gauge your expression. 

“O-okay,” you reply meekly. Henry watches you with an increasingly furrowed brow and you think of something. “Am I - am I supposed to be jealous?” you ask him. A strange emotion passes across his face. 

“Heh, no, no you are not,” Henry replies. “I just wanted,” he stops to evaluate how he wants to word his next statements. “I wanted to be transparent with you. I don’t want you to ever think that I’m hiding something from you,” he says, softly. You push your food around on your plate absent-mindedly. 

“Okay,” you say simply. Before Henry can say anything, you jump up and take your dishes into the kitchen. Henry doesn’t miss a beat, following you. 

“Y/n,” he says your name low. He’s right behind you at the sink, close, but not touching you. You feel his desire for you burning hot. Taking a breath you turn around to face him. 

“Really, sugar, it’s okay,” you tell him before he’s even had a chance to speak. His brow furrows as he looks down at you. You stare back defiantly, unwilling to give in to the feelings that have held you captive for years. “I have some work I need to finish before bed,” you state. Henry lets you pass so you can go to your desk and avoid the conversation that needs to be had. You hear him sigh heavily as you walk away. Guilt takes over and you barely get any work done. Closing your laptop, you sigh deeply and place your head in your hand. For a few moments, you stay like that before you finally work up the courage. You go in search of Henry and find him in bed reading. 

“Hey,” he says, putting his book down when he sees you. You crawl into bed and sit next to him cross-legged. 

“I’m sorry,” you start. Henry looks at you confused. “I’m okay and it is okay that you will be working with Lucy again,” you tell him. Understanding softens Henry’s features. “That being said, trust is,” you stop, feeling your heartbeat suddenly speed up. “Trust is hard for me. Especially when it comes to relationships,” Henry’s hand reaches out for yours. 

“Come here,” he murmurs, tugging on your hand. You move, throwing one leg over both of his and straddle his lap. He rests his hands on your hips. You take a deep breath in and start again. 

“Where I come from, the way I was raised - trust is earned,” you state. Henry looks at you intently. 

“That’s a very good upbringing,” he replies quietly. Suddenly, you realize what you’ve just said and blush brightly. Henry notices and moves one hand from your hip to softly cup your cheek. 

“I’m sorry, Henry,” you say, but Henry stops you. 

“Y/n, it’s okay,” he says. You shake your head no. “Yes, it is,” he adds, firmly. “I have earned your respect but, in some ways, I have not earned your trust,” he explains. Guilt washes over you instantly. 

“That’s not what I meant,” you whisper. 

“Yes, it is,” Henry states. With his hand, he gently takes your chin between his forefinger and thumb so you have to look at him. “And it’s okay. It’s true, in some ways, I haven’t earned your trust as a partner. I haven’t had the opportunity to do so,” you look into his eyes, those blue eyes that shine with love. “I think this is my chance to do just that,” he looks at you, a soft smile making the lines around his eyes more prominent. “What do you think?” he asks. 

“I’d say, my granny would agree with you,” you say, smiling a little despite the overwhelming guilt. “And I do as well,” Henry smiles and places his hand at the nape of your neck. Gently, he pulls you in for a kiss that is soft and sweet and passionate. Breathing heavy, you lean back and look at your partner. He runs his thumb across your cheek gently. 

“This is all part of building a relationship with someone,” he says. “Building a life with someone. There are challenges and obstacles and problems that we have to solve together,” he runs his thumb across your bottom lip. “I’m loyal to a fault. When I’m with someone, I’m with them no matter what. I can promise you, that when I say I’m yours, I mean it,” he watches you with a gentle smile on his lips. 

“I do trust you,” you say quietly. 

“No, you don’t,” Henry teases, laughing a little at your shocked expression. 

“I do!” you exclaim and Henry laughs deeply. You hang your head with guilt and laugh as well. When he calms down, he smiles at you, running his hands up and down your sides. 

“I love you, y/n,” he sighs. You smile back at him, your hands resting on his plump chest. 

“I love you too, Henry,” 

“Yeah, you do,” he says smugly. Smiling, he pulls you in for a kiss even though you are muttering for him to shut up. The kiss is soft and raw and passionate. When he’s done, he shifts you so he’s holding you while you rest your head on his chest. “We’ll find our way, y/n,” he murmurs. His chest vibrates as he says it and you smile. You lay there with him, feeling his arms firmly around your body. 

The weeks that followed represented the kind of life you could expect with Henry. His time at the gym increased steadily until he was there for several hours a day. He was working on lines and studying up on his character when he wasn’t at the gym. That meant you rarely saw him even though you lived in the same house, which was actually fine. You were in and out of the National Geographic office working hard on your proposal. Though the deal was signed, you needed to create a game plan. That’s where Callie and Peter came in. They were your Heaven sent saviors, helping with so much. You did get approval to fly out with the two of them to scout various areas that they had researched. The day you have to fly out, Henry drives you to the airport. 

“Goodbye, little minx,” he murmurs, hugging you tightly at the terminal. You smile up at him when he lets go. 

“You’ll be in Arizona when I get back?” you ask, though you already know the answer. Henry nods his head not wanting to say yes out loud. “Okay,” you murmur. Quickly, you stand up on your tiptoes and kiss him. His hands latch onto your hips and he doesn’t let go for a moment. “Bye, sugar,” you whisper. Henry lets you go and watches you walk away. You meet up with Callie and Peter and wait to board your flight. While you sit and wait, Callie pulls her phone out and takes a video. 

“Off to an undisclosed location for work with my favorite person and mentor,” she says, pointing the camera at you. You were distracted reading an email so you look confused when you look up at her camera. 

“Wait, me?” you ask. Your mouth drops open when you realize she is referring to you as her mentor. “I’m the mentor?” Callie giggles as she nods her head yes. She stops filming there, laughing as she replays it before uploading it to her Instagram account. You make a mental note to find her account later and share that video. The announcement is made to board your flight and for the next thirteen hours, you, Callie, and Peter make the trek to Cusco, Peru. 

Your time in Cusco was well spent, finding several areas to film in. You were also able to meet with and speak with several people that would be involved in the final project. Callie helped you transcribe the interviews while Peter worked on finding and sending out the correct release forms you would need to film in several of the areas. Though there wasn’t much down time, when you did have some time, you, Callie, and Peter walked around the area. Cusco is a high tourist attraction, which meant there was enough to see without needing a guide or translator. It was a truly beautiful city and you couldn’t wait to come back to explore more for the film. 

On the day you were to return home, there was a delay at the airport. That meant the three of you were stuck waiting for a few hours. Bored, you sent a text to Henry then got on your Instagram account, which turned out to be a major mistake. Not only were you drowning in new followers, you were drowning in comments. Earlier in the week, you had found and reshared Callie’s video with a cute caption. Apparently, many of your new followers felt the need to comment on your repost. There were many cute, encouraging, and sweet messages from random strangers. There were even more that were ugly and mean. 

The only thing you could mentor her is how to be a gold digging bitch.

What? You? A mentor? How much did you pay her to say that????

You’ll be a great mentor! You’ll teach a new generation how to ride the coattails of others! 

We know you’re only in a relationship with Henry for his money. Leave him alone. Maybe teach her how to be a decent human being oh wait, you don’t even know how to do that yourself! 

Everyone knows that Henry’s still in love with Lucy. Why would he get her another job on another movie? Stop acting like you’re some amazing piece of ass when you’re just the cover to keep them happy.

Your heart rate sped up and you sighed heavily through your nose. Callie noticed and gave you an inquisitive look. You dismissed her with a wave of your hand. It didn’t work. “What’s going on?” she asked, looking at you concerned. You look at her and take in a deep breath. 

“It’s nothing,” you state, trying hard to believe it yourself. “Just stupid people making stupid comments about things they have no control over,” you lament, glancing at Callie. She grimaces. 

“You saw the comments,” she says, more as a statement rather than a question. For some reason, you can’t help the laughter that bubbles up from inside you. Knowing that Callie was monitoring the comments was both amusing and depressing, but you couldn’t tell the difference, so you just laugh. Callie watches you, shocked, for a moment before joining you in laughter nervously. “God, people can be so ridiculous,” you say, wheezing a little as you calm yourself down. 

“They’re just jealous,” Callie says in an attempt to comfort you. 

“Yeah, probably,” you shrug. Then you take another deep breath in and let it out. “My brother is gay and we grew up in a really small, backwards town in Texas,” you stop for a moment, listening to an announcement on the overhead speakers. “You know, I’ve had my fair share of second hand hate pretty much my whole life,” you say when the announcement is over. “What I didn’t understand then and what I don’t understand now is: what does it accomplish? Huh? What does attacking someone with hate accomplish?” you ask. It’s a rhetorical question, but the truth is, you want an answer. You want someone to explain it to you. 

“I think people do it because it makes them feel like they are exerting some kind of control over something they feel powerless too,” Callie answers you. “They don’t understand something and rather than take the time to learn about it, they tear it down into something they can destroy with simple words,” she looks at you. You stare back, surprised, at the profound statements that just came out of such a young mind. She blushes slightly, dropping her gaze. “I have two dads, so,” she looks back up at you. “I’m pretty familiar with second hand hate,” she shrugs a little. You smile back at her. 

“I knew there was a reason I liked you so much,” you tell her and watch as she blushes deeper. After a while, it’s finally announced that you can board the plane. As soon as you do, you pop two Dramamine pills and sleep until it’s time to set foot in England again. 

You walk into the little townhouse that you now share with Henry and sigh at the silence. There was some comfort in knowing the beast of a man you loved stayed here and yet, there was an emptiness that came with it as well. He was gone and you were here, left to your own devices. Taking in a deep breath, you shuffle to the bedroom to drop your bags off. On the bed, there is a wrapped gift, a bouquet of sunflowers, and a note. Picking up the note first, you see what’s inside. 

Welcome back little minx. I’m so glad you’re home and I’m so sorry I’m not there to welcome you properly. I know you’ll be working, but I found something that I think will help pass the time while we wait to be with each other again. Kal and I miss you desperately. Much love, your Henry x

You smile to yourself reading through the note. Then you glance at the thin, large wrapped gift on the bed. Curiosity takes over and you grab it, ripping open the smooth lavender paper. Inside is an album, Country Love Songs, with featured artists like Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Tammy Wynette and more. You gasp as you run your fingers over the cardstock as if this were a valuable piece of art. Overwhelmed with emotion, you sit down on the side of the bed holding the album in your lap, staring down at it for a while. You sigh as you set the album aside and grab your phone from your bag to text your brother Kyle. 

Hey, are you awake? You hit send, then stand up to change out of your clothes. 

Of course I’m awake, I’m a starving artist. What’s going on?

Think I could FaceTime you for a bit?

Sure

You opened the app, found your brother’s name, and clicked call. It rings for a few seconds with your face in a tiny box on at the bottom of your screen. Then your brother's tired face pops up and he smiles wide. “Hey bug!” 

“Hey Kip,” you reply, smiling back at your brother. Even through FaceTime, he can tell something is wrong. 

“Bug, what’s up?” he asks. The camera shakes a little as he switches his grip. You watch him for a moment, before responding. 

“I’m just,” you take in a deep breath. “I’m tired. I was in Peru for the last week and it was great, but then some awful little girls said horrible things on my Instagram,” you explain. “And Henry’s in Arizona, so I’m here by myself in what is technically his space and I just, I don’t know,” you sigh. 

“Hold on, y/n, did you move in with him?” Kyle asks. You glance up at the camera. 

“Yeah,” you say, shrugging your shoulders a little. Kyle whistles. 

“Damn, you must really like this guy,” he replies. “You didn’t even live with what’s-his-face before you got married,” he says and you laugh a little. 

“I love him, Kyle,” you murmur. Kyle watches you for a second. The camera shakes again as he switches hands. 

“Well, to discuss the other things you mentioned. I read some of the comments on that video you posted, which was super cute by the way,” he states making you giggle. “And honestly, if those comments are getting to you, then I have no idea who the hell you are. I know what those bitches used to say when you were in school and I know for a fact it was a hundred times worse than what these keyboard warriors have to say,” he says with a disgusted face. You are laughing out loud before you realize you were crying just moments before. “So what else is going on?” he pushes. You sigh. 

“Henry is working with his ex in Arizona,” you say, ashamed of yourself. 

“Ah,” Kyle tsks with a knowing expression. You roll your eyes. 

“Oh, don’t try to give me any of your psycho-babble bull shit,” you say. “You were a Psych major for one and a half semesters,” Kyle huffs. 

“Hey, hey, hey. My psycho-babble bull shit helps Marshall all the time,” he says quickly. “But I don’t need any of that to see what’s going on here, baby sister,” he says, looking at you pointedly. 

“And what’s going on here, big brother?” you ask in a mocking voice. Kyle sighs. 

“You’re scared,” he states. With those two words alone, you feel your heart being cracked open. “You’ve been hurt, bad, and you’re scared that it’s going to happen again,” he pauses, watching you for a moment. “Everything you are feeling right now, bug, is valid,” he says. You sniffle and fight back the tears that are threatening to fall. “The way I see it, you’ve got about two options right now,” Kyle adds. 

“What are my options?” you ask, sniffling and wiping at your eyes. 

“Well, option one is, you sit around moping and feeling sorry for yourself and ruining what could potentially be the best relationship you’ve ever been in,” he replies. 

“And what’s option number two?” 

“If Henry’s anything like you say he is, then option number two would be,” Kyle pauses, glancing at something off camera before looking back. “Trust him,” 

[furyfought]

abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway .  they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.

loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.

+ pinterest, stats.

hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎

"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."

agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?

when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but. 

agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.

agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.

agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro. 

but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff. 

i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.

anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch. 

"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋."  + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !

i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3

if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3

conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.

fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts. 

someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3

omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?

an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?

agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.

agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3

if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.

omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked.. 

on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3

budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨. 

i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..

college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.

tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.

agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster. 

speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.

[ashisbaeee]

The reader getting insecure when she hears her boyfriend, Tom, talking about how hot and talented Zendaya is. Hope your blurb night is going well❤

A/N: And I oop, sis. This is kinda like my most recent series, minus all of the dramatics and not as long(well I hope it’s not too long), haha. Anyways, I hope you like it. Sorry for the delay in getting this out to y’all.  Thanks for your request!  :) blurb night is going well, I’ve just been super busy so I’m trying to catch up and do as many blurbs as i can. 

thanks for your request, @tom-hollands-blog 😌💗

heck, this is as angsty as aforementioned series, OOF. 

1.4K of pure angst, oops😬

_________________

After a rather long and particularly busy day at work, you wanted nothing more  than to come home to your boyfriend, Tom, and just cuddle with him. Just being with him and being in his presence really uplifts your mood. 

Just as you entered your shared apartment, you went on a mission to find him, desperately needing his cuddles and warmth. 

Following the sound of his voice, it led to you his office. The door was slightly ajar, just as you were about to enter, you realized he was on the phone. Just as you were about to leave and give him some privacy, your actions were halted at the sound of your name. 

“Y/N can’t know of what I am about to tell you Haz, okay.  I just have to share this with you,I don’t think I can hold it in anymore. Did you see how great Z looked today? Like oh my God, she looked absolutely gorgeous, she literally took my breath away. Law really outdid himself  styling her today. I mean not that he didn’t before, it’s just wow, she’s flawless, she’s breathtakingly beautiful. And don’t even get me started on how talented she is.  Like in all seriousness, I don’t think I’ve met someone my age who has such an incredible work ethic. And the movie?  I mean come on. I don’t think I’ve ever clicked and had so much chemistry with a costar. It just came out so naturally, effortlessly too. Z, she brings so much passion and it really shows. The amount of time she prepared to be MJ, and her character Rue for Euphoria? my God. geez. I’ve never realized how talented she is, like I’ve seen her work and I was fortunate enough to work with he in Homecoming but to experience it firsthand, and have both our characters as the main ones for Far From Home,  just wow, I’m amazed, she’s truly amazing. I can’t wait to show everyone the finished product. I can’t wait for all the press tours and getting to hang out with her and Jacob some more” he rambled. 

You were at a loss. I mean can anyone really compare to Z? As he had said, she’s flawless not one zit on her face, breathtaking beautiful, without a doubt. She took his breath away? Wow. okay. Just hearing his words seemed like daggers piercing your heart. Your insecurities, all of your doubts, your worst fears were coming to life. Of course you’d never compare to her. She’s who she is and you’re just plain old you. His words meant nothing at this point. His constant reassurance he’d give you, how you were amazing and whatnot seemed like just one big old lie. How foolish of you to really believe his words. 

Of course he’d fall for her, I mean what sane person wouldn’t? 

You refused to hear what Haz’s reply would be so you quietly made your way downstairs. 

Once you got downstairs, you put on your AirPods and decided to listen to some music while you cleaned the kitchen. Although there was music playing you were distracted. Going over and repeating his words. Forever ingraining them to memory, burying them deep inside your mind with no intentions of ever coming out, no intentions of forgetting them; wishing you never went upstairs and listened in on his and Haz’s conversation but in a way you were kinda glad, seeing his true feelings for his costar. If all the TomDaya stans were around to hear this, ooh would they have a field day.

Just as you finished doing the dishes and started to prepare for dinner was when you heard him coming down the stairs. You quickly brushed off the tears that managed to pool in your eyes as you pretended like nothing happened. 

You quickly grabbed an onion and started to chop it, a really sad but yet somewhat believable excuse for the reason of your tears. You decided the quickest and easiest thing to make was chicken and veggie stir fry. He came up behind you and hugged you. You took off an Airpod and quickly replied hello to him. He had offered to help but you declined, saying you had it under control. He opted to sit in the breakfast bar as he watched you work your magic, making small conversation. 

Once the food was ready, you sat and ate. You ate in silence, your hunger long leaving your body. You wanted nothing more than to just sleep your heartache and sorrows away. This was by far one of the most painful things you’ve ever experienced. And the fact that he wasn’t aware that he was the cause of all this? Ugh. 

He assumed that your lack of conversation was due to your exhaustion. Oh how wrong he was. 

You decided to take a shower after dinner. It gave you some time to clear your head and process what you heard. Had he really felt this way about her? And if so, for how long? And a plethora more  questions yet to be answered. How were you going to address this to him? Will you even address him? that was the even bigger question. 

You were in the shower for quite a while. You lost track of time. You stood under the shower as you let the scorching hot water wash over you. Something to help alleviate the pain you were feeling. 

You decided enough was enough and got out. If you could’ve you would’ve stayed under the showerhead forever. But sleep was calling your name. 

You quickly got dressed in sweats and a baggy sweater  and headed to your room. Seeing as he had fallen asleep, you proceeded to pass him and head into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea. 

As you sat in the darkness with your mug in hand, you thought of how and what you were going to say to him. He was clearly thinking of his co-star as something more. 

He thought you were in bed so he scooted to your spot. Finding it empty, he got up to find you, missing and wanting your body next to his. He made his way down to the living room, seeing it was empty he headed into the kitchen. Due to the pitch black darkness, he didn’t see you, he didn’t even know you were there until he heard you sniffle. 

Quickly he switched the lights on and rushed over to where you sat. 

“Darling, is everything alright?”

No you asshole, nothing is alright. I am not alright.

You didn’t answer him. 

He knelt right in front you, holding your hands in his. A worried expression on his face. 

“Darling?”

“How long? H-how long have you felt that way towards her? I feel like I’m in the way, so I’ll show myself out. I don’t want to get in the way between you two” you spoke as tears endlessly fell, no point in making an effort to wipe them away. 

“W-what, darling, where is this, oh. Oh my God. no, no, please, let me explain?”

“That came off as a question. It’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything. I best be on my way. Go call her and let her know how you really feel about her. Haz can attest for you. I’ll be back later this week to collect my things”

“Please, love, please. Don’t. Don’t walk out, don’t leave me. I need you. Hear me out, please, I’m begging you”

“Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is. You clearly said those things for a reason. I don’t blame you for falling for her, I mean who wouldn’t? I just wished I would’ve known sooner, y’know? Save us all this time and heartbreak. Guess better now than never right? If there was anyone I’d rather see with you other than me, it would be her. So go. Go get her. G’bye Tom”

You muted out his begs and pleads. You grabbed your bag and keys and proceeded to walk out the door, out of his life forever.

[roguethewriter]

Writing Characters with Depression

Ah, mental illness representation! So accurate and diverse!

Said no one ever.

Depression is one of the mental illnesses that are slowly entering the mainstream and becoming less stigmatised. Still, media and literature get a lot of things wrong. You're reading this, so clearly you're interested in what they're doing wrong, so you don't do it. You want to give me a well-rounded amazing character with depression in which we can feel represented, right? WELL, THANKS ANGEL, LET ME HELP YOU.

A couple of things before we start:

‌This is mostly based on personal experience. Mental illness manifests and feels different for different people, so always aim to have a variety of perspectives.

‌Trigger Warning: We're going to discuss some aspects about depression that might upset and hit too close to home to some people, so proceed with caution.

‌I'm not going to go into detail about the symptons, causes and treatment, as this is not a medical manual, but a writing guide. So we'll be focusing more about positive characterisation of people with depression in literature/media.

Let's get to it. And why you're at it, have a Malteeser for everytime I say the D word here.

How depression might feel for someone who has it:

‌Lack of energy

‌A feeling of constant fatigue

‌Hopelessness, thinking things are never going to get better

‌Losing interest in things, even things you used to love

‌Inability to concentrate, even on simple tasks like reading something or watching a tv show

‌Not seeing the point of living

‌Feeling like everything bad that happens is your fault

‌Seeing things in a negative light

‌A lack of self-esteem and self-worth

‌Loss of sex drive

‌Feeling irritable

‌Feeling suicidal

How can it manifest?

‌Sleeping too much or too little

‌Eating too much or nothing at all

‌Being self-deprecating, even if it's in a funny way

‌Withdrawing oneself from social activities

‌Moving and talking slowly

‌Neglecting one's appearance, ie. Not showering in days, not brushing your teeth, wearing the same clothes over and over

‌Abusing substances like alcohol, weed

‌Self-harming

‌Quitting your hobbies

‌Having a messy room, or leaving dishes pile up as you're unable to perform everyday taks

‌Quick to snap and get irritable

This list is not exhaustive, and it's also good to do some research, but these are some clear common signs!

Now, let's go for the bad examples:

Common tropes of characters with depression that make me want to throw away the book/tv to the bin

‌The Oscar the Grouch type: Nothing will make this character smile. They are determined to be a negative nelly and have a big black cloud over their heads.

‌The Sleeping Beauty: how do we know they have depression? Well... They're in bed. People with depression spend all their time in bed, right?

‌The Emo Teen: they wear black, they have studded belts, they wear stripes and eyeliner and listen to MCR, and have a monotone voice... That means they're depressed, right?

‌The eDgY eDgE eDgEdton: Omg, they're depressed, that's so edgy and cool. They wear flannel and write angsty song lyrics with their marker over the wall. They flip tables and cry handsomely while smoking weed. That's depression, right?

‌The Undestructible Teen: Life is tough, parents are getting divorced and Jason has left us for stupid Leyla, but let's not address our problems. We'll cure our depression instead by partying everyday and chugging a bottle of vodka. Oh-oh, have we drunk too much? No worries! There are no consequences to our actions or any long-term impact to our health. We just need the Sensible Friend™ to call us out and we'll grow out of our depression, which brings me to...

‌The Miracle: Did they have depression in episode 1? Well, THEY'RE CURED NOW! And all they had to do is just a little pep talk and get out of bed!

WELL, TO THE RUBBISH BIN TO ALL OF YOU, OFF YOU GO!

Things to take into account when writing depression:

‌Depression is an illness, not a character trait. Although it's true that it shapes the way you think and view the world, depression doesn't define your identity, and people with depression have a personality outside of their mental illness.

‌There are many different types of depression. There is depression with psychosis, there is unipolar depression and then if it's paired with episodes of mania it's called bipolar disorder (comment if you'd like a post on that!). Also, depression can mix differently with other mental illnesses, such as anxiety disorders. Unipolar depression is quite common, but other types need more positive representation too!

‌People with depression still have sense of humour. In fact, some people with depression are actually some of the funniest people. Although depression can make you see everything in a negative light, humour is one of the best coping mechanisms. It can serve as a waybof deflecting attention from themselves so their loved ones don't get worried or making people laugh is the only thing that can lift up their mood. Whatever it is, characters with depression can still be the life of the party.

‌There is not only one way of going through depression. Some people are bed-ridden and have a complete lack of energy, but some people seem to be quite high-functioning, go to work, do the groceries, but feel miserable inside. Some people might even go through both things through their lifetime. The point is that depression affects everyone differently, and it varies according to the type of depression you have, your life situation, and even the stage in which you're in.

‌It's not just sadness. Sometimes, it's not sadness at all. It might be lack of energy, hopelessness, a sense of losing direction and purpose, and in the darkest of times, losing the will to live, to keep fighting. It's important to understand the spectrum of emotions if you're writing a character witj depression and not reduce it to just "a bad mood".

‌Depression is not always due to trauma. The majority of the stories of depression we hear is a person reacting to a major life event: the death of a relative, parents divorcing, losing a job... But sometimes there is not a real life trigger from depression. Sometimes, it's a chemistry imbalance or simply a hereditary cause (attach link). Some people with depression lead stable lives surrounded by loving people and still have the illness, and this creates a feeling of frustration and self-blame, because you feel you might be at fault for being depressed. This is something a lot of people with depression struggle with, but it's not widely talked about.

Okay, Rogue, so how do I write a character with depression?

Well, my little sweetling, let's do some Dos and Don'ts:

Dos:

‌Wonder why you want to write a character with depression. Is it to start a conversation? Is it to provide visibility and representation to the illness? Is it to show how the plot struggles have affected your character? Or is it just to give them "an edge" or make them somewhat interesting? Misrepresentation can be as bad as lack thereof so make sure you're doing it for good reasons.

‌Read own voices books and testimonials about people with the illness. When writing mental illness, most people go to the symptoms page on Wikipedia, but never think to research about how people affected by depression experience it. This will give you a bigger scope on all the different ways depression can affect a person, and will make your character less of a "manual mental illness" type.

‌Create hope for this character. Yes, things can go wrong when you have a mental illness, and suicide rates are high for people affected by them. We know those stories, and they are necessary that we're aware of them. But we also need positive stories. Chances are, someone with depression will read your story, and to see s character with a happy ending can give them a glimmer of hope that is so much needed during dark times. We need more positive stories about mental illness.

‌Use trigger warnings. Some aspects about depression (self-harm, suicide, substance abuse...) can hit too close to home for some people. It's important you warn your readers.

‌Make them interesting, please! Depression does not equal boring. Make them charming and funny and still hopeless, make them be surrounded by loving relatives and still feel miserable, make them be the most helpful friend or loving daughter and still be unable to help themselves. Giving a character depression is not going to be enough to make them interesting, so make sure they have a well-rounded personality.

Don'ts:

‌Romanticise the illness. Do you think depression is lying in your bed in your black clothes listening to Nirvana on loop? Then you're very far off. Although I previously mentioned depression looks different from everyone, things are likely to get ugly. Depression is more than drawing angsty black ink portraits in your sketch pad. It's having your eyes dry and hurt from staring at your phone screen all day. It's your bones aching from sitting on the sofa until 3am dying for some sleep yet being unable to move yourself to bed. It's blood streaming down the sink from brushing your teeth after not brushing them in days. It's the stale smell of the tracksuit bottoms you'be been wearing for weeks. It's your hair feeling like cardboard from all the product and dirt that's been accumulated after not showering for days. Yes, this all sounds tough, but that's because depression is tough and ugly for those who go through it. Show it.

‌Bash on medication. Some people take it, some people don't, but being negative about it in your content can put people off it, people who might actually need it.

‌Have the character "grow out of it". If they have depression in chapter one, they're very likely to have depression in chapter 10, or even in book 2. They might learn coping mechanisms along the way, but depression can take months, or even years to treat, so we won't believe you if you say they've been cured in 3 days. Or maybe:

‌They were depressed, but they have to save the world, so they grew out of it. Yeah, right mate, like if pep talks were that useful people would spend loads of money on therapy and medication. Riiiight. Your hero might eventually get up and save the world, but the depression will still be there, it won't get cured by saving the planet, it will be waiting for them at the end of the road, so be ready to write that.

‌Cure the character with a love interest. Ah, they had depression, until she came to their life. Now they are cured by love! Nah, mate, they will still struggle with depression even when they're madly in love with the most perfect love interest. Some people with depression have loving stable relationships, so this trope makes no sense.

In conclusion / TLDR:

‌Depression has a lot of different faces, not everyone experiences it the same way or is affected by it the same way.

‌It's not always triggered by life events; sometimes you get it and that's it.

‌It's more than just feeling sad.

‌Some people are quite high-functioning despite suffering from it.

‌Don't glamorise: show the good, the bad and the ugly.

‌Be consistent: if they're depressed in chapter 1, they won't be able to grow out of it in chapter 2.

‌Don't be negative about medication or therapy.

‌Use TWs for sensitive content.

‌Tell positive stories and give a glimmer of hope.

Wow! That's a lot, isn't it? You're probably thinking "this is hard to write!", and that's because it is. This is why I asked you to think why you want to do this. Hopefully it didn't put you off and you still want to give the community some good representation.

Anything I left behind? Any more posts like this you'd like to see? Hit me up with comments!

Good luck with your writing and please, hit me up with any questions or talk to me about your OCs and WIP about mental illness. Peace!

Useful links:

Nhs website on depression

Mind guide for depression

If you're struggling and need someone to talk to

[eequalsmcscared]

Fander Secret Santa Gift!

So I finally was able to finish the fic for @thelonglostmarauder ! I was your @fander-secret-santa​ and this is the really long fanfiction I wrote based on your prompt. I kinda got carried away but I hope you like it! I also want to say a big thank you to my boyfriend and my best friend Steph for proof reading the whole fic! You guys are real troopers and are amazing. Anyways, enjoy the story everyone! Title: Acceptance is Possible Prompt: The Sides discover Virgil has anxiety, despite being anxiety, and try to come up with ways to help Thomas without Virgil being anxious. Warnings: Panic Attacks, Cussing, and Mentions of Fighting (tell me if I need to add more!) Word Count: 4,103 (like I said, it’s really long. It’s like...a little over 6 pages on a Google doc so yeah..)

Abstract: Is this who I’ll always be?

Virgil’s leg bounced up and down as he waited in anticipation for the day to start. Of course, nothing particularly big was going to happen today. Or at least that was the plan. No, the constant fear of what will happen tomorrow...er today, considering it’s currently five in the morning, was keeping Virgil wide awake. He had given up trying to sleep a few hours ago, opting to sit at his desk and twiddle around with various items to keep his mind distracted. He had learned through the years that a distracted mind is a good mind. Doing things constantly allowed virgil no room to think because “Thinking is bad and it could hurt Thomas,” Virgil muttered to himself as he pushed his swivel chair away from his desk. It was a mantra he had made for himself and was currently repeating it as he paced across the black carpeted floor.

After doing that mindlessly, Virgil’s tired eyes take a glance at the clock on his nightstand. In dull red numbers, it read 5:30 am. “Meaning Logan should be up in 3...2…” A soft click of the logical  side’s door signified that he was awake. Virgil couldn’t help but smirk at his timing. “You did it again Virge,” he congratulated himself.

Virgil turned himself towards his closet, deciding it was time to start the day. He felt himself grow jittery as his mind plagued him with torturous thoughts of how the day could go. His breathing began to grow uneven as he searched his closet for his comfort hoodie. His eyes darted around the closet in frantic motion as he searched desperately for the piece of clothing. Once his eyes caught a glimpse of the gray plaid fabric, his hands shot forward and pulled it towards his body. Virgil’s hands worked quickly as possible to pull the fabric over his shoulders, feeling a marjor rush of relief once the task was done.

Still tense but a lot less panicked, Virgil walked over to his body length mirror to asses the damage of the two to three hours of broken sleep had caused his body. “And which parts can I cover up,” his tired voice muttered to an empty room.

He moved the black felt blanket that had hung over the mirror, out of the way so he could stare at his reflection. From what he saw, it wasn’t pretty. His eyes were bloodshot and the bags under them were a dark purple. His skin a tone paler and his eyes half-lidded. Over all, Virgil looked purely exhausted. “Well,” He turned his body to the left slightly to grab the makeup hidden in his drawer, “time to get to work.”

After applying a warm tone foundation, concealer, highlighter, and some warm tone eyeshadow; Virgil looked more like an actual person rather than a barely living corpse. He finished his look by straightening his hair so it flopped over his eyes and adding to his signature ‘bags’. It was a bit counter-productive, Virgil knew, to cover his real bags by applying fake ones over it but if it kept the facade of being the non-anxious, angsty emo guy the others pegged him to be, then he was willing to comply. “Besides,” Virgil spoke aloud to himself, “I kinda like that aesthetic.”

Virgil dusted off his hands to get rid of any powder that might’ve been left over and began to quickly put the supplies away. Any evidence of his makeover was whipped clean from existence.He hummed, momentarily content with himself. Soon the thought of having to leave his room and socialize with them: Patton, Roman, and Logan. He checked the clock once more to see who would be up and just how long it took him to get ready. “Just over a half-hour, not too bad,” he tried to boost his morales up but his anxious mind wasn’t taking the bait.

Virgil took a deep breath, wiping his sweaty palms onto his ripped jeans before shakily reaching his hand towards the doorknob. “You got this Virgil, just put on the facade like you do everyday,” he whispered quietly to himself in an attempt to calm his racing heart. “You can do this. You have to do this.” and with that, he took a deep breath and submerged himself in facade of the confident, bitchy emo who didn’t care about Thomas and only wanted to hurt him. 

He began the short quest down the hall which tapered off into the kitchen. By the sound of warm-bubbling talking and the clanking of dishes, Patton was up and on his way to making the other’s breakfast. Logan would be there too, sitting at his usual spot at the table. He would, no doubt, be drinking his black coffee while Patton talked his ear off. The logical trait would just nod his head and make a ‘hmmm’ or an ‘ooh’ to make it seem like he was listening, his mind still very much asleep. The image Virgil created caused a small smile to break through before he quickly put back his typical scowl.

The one-sided conversation came to a screeching halt once Virgil’s presence had been established. Internally, he groaned as he felt the stress and tension rise while the other two just stared at him. When Virgil caught eyes with Logan, he was met with mild hatred and annoyance. ‘Typical.’ He was tempted to roll his eyes but since Virgil was only anxiety and will only ever be anxiety, he decided to give Logan a slight nod. He then turned his attention to Patton who visibly flinched. Inside, it made him scream “You don’t have to be afraid of me! I would never hurt you Patton!” but he didn’t say a word. He just kept his gaze on the peppy trait who began to squirm.

“M-morning Anx!” Patton stuttered out, attempting to clear the tension in the air. Of course, none of it faded, “H-how...how did you uh...did you sleep?”

Virgil raised his a brow, as to say really?, before heading over to the cupboards to grab a mug for some much needed coffee. “What’s it matter to you?” he said with a malicious bite in his tone causing Patton to supper with a reply. He smirked with faux pleasure as he poured himself a rather large cup of coffee.

“Save some for Ro-” Patton cut himself off mid-sentence as Virgil took the rest of the coffee, “-man.” Patton sighed in defeat as he went to go and start another brew.

Virgil pulled himself up onto an unoccupied space at the counter. He rathered enjoyed sitting on objects that weren’t quite meant to be sat on. It brought him a small pleasure of joy which made the impact of the rest of his actions hurt a little less.

“Hmm, Anxiety,” Logan’s voice broke through the tense silence, “Can I conspire with you for a moment?” Virgil let out a huff of annoyance that wasn’t a part of the act as he slid down from his spot. ‘Oh boy,’ he thought as he made his way over, ‘here we go again.’

“Why were you making Thomas so anxious at such an early hour this morning?” There was a hint of anger under his annoyed and inconvenience tone. “You know Thomas needs at least a few hours of consistent sleep each night. By you making him anxious, it drags him out of that deep sleep and it leaves him feeling unrested and unprepared for the rest of the day.”

Virgil had to bite his tongue as Logan lectured him, not wanting to make the other side pissy. He also didn’t want to start a fight that would last the whole day. He simply gave Logan a cold, dead stare. Virgil had to refrain himself from bouncing his leg or fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie. Anxiety and anger bubbled to his chest as Logan went on and on about helping Thomas and heavily implied that Virgil wasn’t helping. But he didn’t care.

Instead, he tuned out Logan’s babbling words as he thought angrily. ‘Well if you would take your head out of your ass and try to understand what the fuck I’m going through, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, now would we? But nooo, you like to think I create an anxious disaster wherever I go! Maybe if you saw me having an attac-’

“Virgil,” Logan repeated again, snapping to get the darker side’s attention.

The closeness of Logan’s hand to Virgil’s face caused him to flinch slightly. “Hmm, what?”

Logan rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Typical,” he muttered, “you weren’t even paying attention. Nevermind then.”

In return, Virgil got up and walked back into the kitchen to see if breakfast was almost ready. He was feeling quite hungry and might attempt to steal a bit or two while Patton was cooking. His plans were spoiled when a particular dramatic side sang loudly throughout the house, “What a wonderful morning!”

Virgil opted to cover his ears as the loud and dramatic side bounded in, “Hello Logan! Morning Patton!” His great bounding mood stopped once his eyes landed on Virgil. “What are you doing here, monster?” he spat the word and basically growled at Virgil.

��Morning to you too, Princey,” he replied back with a faux cheery tone. The irritated stare grew on the prince’s face as he heard the nickname.

“It’s Roman, you twat!” Roman spat back, turning on his heel in a dramatic flair and marching to the table to ‘Probably complain about me,’ Virgil thought with hidden distaste. ‘The day has officially started.’

Breakfast had been the usual. The occasional bickering between Roman and Logan, Patton stepping in to stop an actual fight from happening but enjoying the small show while Virgil stayed out of the way. Essentially, he tried to make himself invisible and, of course, it worked. The others hardly acknowledged his presence. Only doing so when they needed something from him, and even then, it was normally Patton who asked.

“Hey Anx, can you pass the salt?” Like now. Virgil looked up from his hardly eaten plate of bacon and eggs, a small shocked expression encompassing his face before he forced an emotionless one.

“Whatever,” he reached over and handed the condiment to Patton who smiled somewhat genuinely at Virgil before he went to ignoring him again. “So Logan, what are the plans for today?”

Logan adjusted his glasses before answering. “We need to finish editing the Sanders Sides video so we can have it up by later today or early tomorrow and are hanging out with a couple of friends tonight at our local bar.”

Patton brighten visibly at the mention of seeing Thomas’ friends today. “It feels like ages since I’ve seen them!” He squealed, barely containing his excitement.

“Gee, I wonder why we haven’t,” Roman’s sarcastic voice hit like daggers into Virgil’s chest. It was obvious what the fanciful side was implying and it hurt. ‘But I can’t show it.’ Virgil kept his facade from cracking. But inside, he felt his heart rate accelerate along with his thoughts.

“Oh come on Ro, Anxiety isn’t that bad,” Patton tried to lighten up his now tarnished mood. Roman just scoffed at Patton’s rebuttal.

“May I remind you that just last week we were supposed to hang out with two friends we hadn’t seen in ages but someone,” Roman’s finger flew to Virgil’s direction, “made us too anxious so we had to opt out!” His breathing was heavy and his body was shaking.

‘From anger, no doubt,’ Virgil commented. He took a deep breath and shoved himself away from the table. He forced a smirk on his face, pretending to enjoy the pain and anger he had caused. “Thank you for the lovely dinner everybody.” He hummed, “especially you Princey.” A flare rose in Roman’s eyes causing Virgil to let out a cruel laugh before he sauntered away to his room.

Only when the door was firmly shut did Virgil let his facade causing his whole body to relax. He felt rather spent and knew he wouldn’t be needed for the for the video editing. “At least not right now,” he noted as he thought about pass editing session going longer than anticipated or an unexpected error popping but decided not to dwell on it.

“Right now is nap time,” he muttered, getting into a comfortable position on his bed. He allowed himself to relax as he caught up on sleep he had missed last night. A small smile scrapped his lips before he was out like a light.

It wasn’t until Thomas had began to summon Virgil did he wake. He groaned as he felt the tug to the front of Thomas’ mind. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and attempted to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Virgil yawned lazily and looked down at his hands, all the peacefulness from sleep was pulled out of him.

“Fuck!” he shouted loudly as he saw his hands dirty. “I slept in my makeup!” He ran to the mirror and assessed the damaged. Everything was either sumbudged or already whipped off and as the pull to the front grew stronger, he had no time to properly fix it.

In desperation, he quickly grabbed his makeup wipes and cleaned his face from the warm facade he created. “Maybe the won’t notice if I put only apply my dark eye shadow bag things,” he thought out loud and quickly began to act on it.

Virgi’s hand worked frantically as he was close to being forced to the front. “And...there,” he put the last of the black eyeshadow under his eyes. He was quickly pulled to where the others currently were. ‘Saved by the bell,’ he slipped the eyeshadow brush causally into his pocket as he looked at the other’s backs. The black of Logan’s polo shirt. The gray from Patton’s cardigan. The red from Roman’s stash. The backs of the people who hated him.

“About time you showed up!” Roman’s accusatory voice echoed throughout the room, “We’ve been calling you for the last five minutes!” Virgil felt his body instantly tenseed.  

‘If I wasn’t anxious before, I sure as hell am now,’ Virgil joked weakly with himself as he felt the his panic grow. “What’s going on?”

“Look for yourself,” Logan motioned towards the screen, “We need you to stop.”

Virgil raised a brow as he looked to the setting that Thomas was put into. It wasn’t anything new, it was his local bar. Thomas had been to it a million times but something was different. “It’s crowded.” Just by acknowledging that fact he felt his body become more tense and panicked.

“Precisely.” Logan would've been proud of Virgil’s oversvation if he didn’t have such a distaste for the anxious side. “Which is why you need to stop making him anxious.”

Virgil had to refrain himself from glaring at the logical side. ‘But remember the facade.’ He growled to himself as he replied to Logan, starting at him directly in the eyes. “Hmm...no, I like to watch him suffer.” Logan kept his face emotionless but his eyes expressed annoyance.

“Very well,” Logan sighed, “everyone else, let’s get to work.” Roman and Patton both nodded as they began to work together to keep Thomas sociable. Virgil hung out towards the back, watching everything unfold. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. ‘It’s not like I want Thomas to feel anxious in social situations, but I can’t help it.’ He bit his lip as he tried his best to keep his body still.

As the night went on, Virgil’s panic worsened as the bar seemed to get more crowded and louder. He tried to keep his cool but this was too much for his mind to process. “Keep it together Virgil,” he muttered quietly to himself as he watched the other Sides work together perfectly. “You can’t have an attack in front of them. Think about Thomas. The damage it’ll cause. You can’t do that to him. Not again.” His short pep talk did anything but help as he felt himself grow more tense, his breathing restricted.

“Shit,” he growled, taking a deep breath so his voice doesn’t sound strained, “Guys, you need to leave. Right now.”

Patton looked to Virgil with concern and confusion while Logan simply raised a brow at Virgil’s demand, “Pardon?”

“You heard me, get back to the commons room,” Virgil growled back, trying to keep his intimidating act on but it was beginning to falter with his growing panic.

Roman scoffed at Virgil’s demand, “What? You think we’re going to leave you with him so you can mess another thing up? I don’t think so.” He turned back to the screen and continued to do his work. Patton and Logan followed suit.

‘Shit, shit, fuck, damn it, no,’ Virgil thought quickly as he felt the panic grow quickly throughout him. ‘They need to leave, they need to leave, they need to leave,’ was all he could think as his body dissolved into panic. “At least get us to the bathroom. Now!” He didn’t even try to hide the anxiety and panic in his voice. The others looked at each other with confusion at the state of Virgil but didn’t think twice once they saw the impact it was having on Thomas.

With a polite excuse me, Logan and Roman quickly take Thomas inside one of the stalls in the men’s restroom while Patton quickly walked over to Virgil. Despite being afraid of the anxious side, Patton couldn’t help but feel concern for the side.

‘They can’t see this, they can’t see this, they can’t see this,’ he thought over and over again as his body slowly curled up, every muscle in his body tensing. His breath became short as his chest began to squeeze shut. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” was all he could whisper as his fear finally took over. It left Virgil in a panicked mess, only able to whisper those words and shake on the floor. “I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t do anything but let his anxiety overtake him. All he could focus on was panic, ‘Panic, panic. Stop panicking. Stop panicking! They know, they know they know and they’re going to hate me more. Oh god, oh god, oh-’ his thoughts were interrupted when he felt a cold hand touch his back causing him to physically flinch away. Either from the cold or the human contact, he didn’t know.

“Oh Anx,” Patton’s soft voice muted some of the thoughts, “it’s going to be okay.” It was Patton. ‘It was Patton?’ Virgil thought in confusion. ‘Is he trying to comfort me?’ His confusion must’ve showed because he heard a sad, weak chuckle escape from Patton’s lips.

“I’m so sorry kiddo,” Patton sniffled as he pulled Virgil’s head into his lap, “I’m so sorry I feared you.” Virgil was unsure of how to react, his mind sort of stunned but his body still very much panicking. Patton petted Virgil’s hair as an attempt to soothe some of his panic. Virgil took a deep breathe but it was quickly pushed out by his panicking lungs. He clung to Patton desperately as he tried to calm himself down but his mind kept on getting distracted by fleeting thoughts. ‘Stop panicking, stop panicking, stop panicking.’

“Virgil,” Logan’s voice rang through. He felt his body tense, getting ready for another one of Logan’s lectures. He could already hear the beginning of the lecture. ‘Virgil you’re supposed to be in the background and not do anything because you’re useless to Thomas-’ “I want you to breathe with me.��� Virgil’s running thoughts stopped for a moment. ‘I wasn’t expecting that.’

“Do you think you can manage that?” Logan’s voice was calm and patient, something he very rarely heard from the logical side. Virgil managed to give a small nod. “Good, now follow my breathing okay?”

“Okay,” Virgil said in a quiet, weak tone. Logan led Virgil through a breathing exercise he had read once on an article about helping someone through an anxiety attack. He thought he’d be using it with Thomas when Virgil tournmented him through another attack but for once, he thought wrong.

“Breathe in four,” Logan instructed, counting as they went. “Hold for seven. Out for eight.”

“You’re doing great kiddo, keep it up,” Patton encouraged as Virgil began to slowly calm himself down. Once his breathing was evened out, he began on working to untense his body. It was a slow process but wasn’t a horrible one as Logan and Patton had helped him all the way through. Towards the end, despite being exhausted, Virgil sat himself up and smiled at the other two sides. Patton offered a soft smile back while Logan nodded his head, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. The only one who wasn’t offering support was Roman. His back was turned to the other sides.

Virgil slowly pushed himself up from the ground, Logan and Patton urging him to say down but he brushed them off. “I’m okay, I swear. This isn’t the first one I’ve been through.” He smiled slightly to reassure the two before walking over to Roman slowly. He approached the prince with caution, unsure of the state the dramatic side was in.

“Hey Roman,” Virgil gently put a hand on the small of Roman’s back. He was tense, ready for any anger that was going to be released at him. Instead, Roman turned around and enveloped Virgil into the biggest hug the anxious side had ever received and remained like that for a long while. He melted into the foreign touch, not paying any attention to the the racing thoughts that were trying to drown out the sense of peace that had washed over him.

Patton decided that it was group hug time and pulled the other two into a tight embrace. The added warmth brought a smile to Virgil’s face as he felt contentment enter into his bones. Thinking that ‘maybe everything will be alright.’

Logan was the last to join due to his hesitation when it came to touch. But considering the circumstances all of them were in, he decided that a little touch wouldn’t hurt anybody.  Even though Logan’s hug was stiff as they could get, Virgil appreciated the sentiment. He met with Logan’s eyes and saw no anger, no annoyance, no inconvenience, just understanding and acceptance. Virgil was shocked to say the least, ‘that’s not something I thought I would ever see on his face.’ But it wasn’t thought it in a cynical manner. It was thought with hope and compassion, two emotions that scared him but he gladly embraced them at the moment.

‘I’m breaking all the rules today,’ Virgil let out a small chuckle. He went back to hiding his face in Roman’s shoulder, allowing himself to be somewhat vulnerable with the other sides. Allowing himself to believe that Patton, Logan, and Roman had all started to begin to accept him. ‘I could get use to this.’

And Virgil did. They all began to figure out how to work together, slowly becoming more of a team as the days went on. Sure, there were some days with frustration when Logan couldn’t understand why a simple task such as sending an email could make Virgil feel overwhelmed or when Patton would touch Virgil too much and cause him to become overstimulated or Virgil shooting daggers into Roman’s back when he was being so loud that it triggered his anxiety but he knew that they were all trying their best to help him out while also helping Thomas.

Sometimes Virgl doubted their acceptance of him, the thoughts of the sides faking it to tournament Virgil plagued his mind but he had to stop himself. As Logan would put it, ‘these thoughts are illogical. Look at all they’ve done for you.’ and he did. He combed through the many memories of the sides helping him through various situations but the biggest reminder was the gifts he was given from the other three. It showed that they cared about him deeply.

He let out a small sigh, a smile gracing on his lips for a few seconds while his racing thoughts slowed to a stop. He thought of Logan, Roman, and Patton, all of them giving him a genuine smile. ‘They do accept me,’ was the last conscious thought Virgil would form before he fell into a peaceful slumber.

A/N: Thank you for reading it all the way up until the end. It’s a monstrously long fic, I know but I hoped you enjoyed it! Thanks again for reading it. :3