#like Guardians 3 was the first marvel film I’ve seen since end game

Explore tagged Tumblr posts

Visit Tumblr Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Last Seen Tumblr Blogs

soumiavenus

Sou Mia Venus

18 posts

soundify-blog

Soundify

4 posts

bombdiggity

mom💣com

1 post

msolo402

MSolo402

17K posts

meduza-fan

Untitled

370 posts

Fun Fact

Tumblr.com rank in the US is 25.

jungwnies · 1 year ago

Note

hello maeby baby! <3<3

last weekend I went to the movies with my sister and my best friend that i haven’t seen in 4 years and girl-

we watched three movies, THREE

-the little mermaid

-spider-man

-guardians of the galaxy

omg i was crying so much, like i already knew i was going to cry with the little mermaid cause it’s one of my fave Disney movies and also since the first trailer dropped i cried when halley sang so i knEW i was gonna be bawling and yup. movie started, literally the title appeared and i cried like im pretty sure the rare moments were the ones where i wasn’t crying (loved it 🫶🏻)

spiderman was sooooo cool, i already loved the first one but man this was soooo good and the soundtrack? slay

and to finish, guardians of the galaxy FUCKED ME UP like, i’ve seen clips of people just saying that you cry a lot and in general it’s one of the best marvel movies recently and i was very excited about this cause I’ve been a big big MCU/MARVEL fan since the beginning but after end game i only watched a couple of them and honestly only loved a few but this one seriously it’s amazing, a masterpiece and i refuse to watch it a second time cause it’s just going to mentally hurt me even more, but seriously it did not disappoint

i also made my friend watch both taylor swift movies and it was awesome, he also listened to folklore for the first time and his favorite was mirrorball (mines are august, illicit affairs and the lakes)

right now im actually home alone for the weekend, one of my sisters friend from high school graduated an she invited her to the ceremony and after party and even though it was okay for me to come i decided to stay home and just have “me time” which has been mostly watching films and YouTube videos lol

also there’s this asmr creator that i love, ediyasmr and this week she did two tarot reading and omg i never felt so “seen” or “heard” with a reading 🥹💓 it was very reassuring and a wholesome time for me haha

i feel like it’s a time for change in my life and path so a lot of craziness and also tranquility in my life going on ( i hope it’s not weirding you out lol) but the good one of craziness I guess ^^

now the questions for you hehe:

have you watched any movies recently? when was the last time you went to the movies? do you like taylor? (if yes what’s your favorite song/album) do you believe in tarot readings and all that stuff? very excited to hear all your answers and what you’ve been up to ^^

take lots of care and please receive all my hugs and kisses that im sending all the way from my room in my pijamas cozy in my bed 🤎🤎

also take care of that ankle!! until a couple of months ago i also still felt some pain so I tried to not put a lot of pressure on it (but also life sometimes doesn’t give me an option ://)

mwa mwa mwa 🤧❤️❤️

- 🧸 anon

omgomgomg anonnieeee!!!

to be honest... i have a really hard time getting into MCU movies, i think the only time i actually watch them is in my myth class because we rarely do anything and all we do is analyze MCU movies because they usually have that hero timeline that we study LMFAO. i have been meaning to watch the little mermaid though it was one of my favorite disney movies growing up (despite the fact that i didn't even know there was a 2nd one...) one thing i will give to MCU movies is though are the cinematic, they are so good, i applaud!!! - i haven't watched any taylor swift movies but i do love her music, it's so good & it always gets me in my feelings to be completely honest with you >.> - me time is super extremely important so i'm super glad that you get to catch up on it, i spend a lot of my time with my sister even when i'm at school but i do enjoy my free time a lot ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ⎯⎯ now to answer your questions!!! (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

have you watched any movies recently? when was the last time you went to the movies? - i've honestly been meaning to go to the movies but i'm either 1. too lazy or 2. too busy 💔 however i'm planning to watch a few movies over the summer since i'm finally more free ugh but i just haven't found the right time. however, over the summer i do plan on watching some movies, honorable mentions being: the little mermaid, barbie, no hard feelings, and evil dead rise (i love horror omgomgomg)

do you like taylor? (if yes what’s your favorite song/album) - yes, i do like taylor. i think some of my favorite albums by her are speak now, fearless, and of course midnights is so good!! i also loved folklore. my favorite song by her is definitely enchanted or love story but also lavender haze is so good!!

do you believe in tarot readings and all that stuff? - i believe in all of it, there was a time where i spent a lot of time practicing tarot and learning astrology (i'm still big on astrology but not so much tarot, i still have the cards though!) i really enjoy watching readings and doing my own, i feel like it resonates with me extremely well, and i'm glad you were able to relate to one on youtube!

⎯⎯ thank you for always leaving me the sweetest messages & take care as well! i wish you nothing but the best and i'm sending all my love and affection to you 🩷 mwamwamwa!

#🧸 — jungwnies #🧸 anon #🧸#thank you anon #ily anon #📥 jungwnies #𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies #jungwnies anons #jungwnies

2 notes · View notes

comickergirl · 6 years ago

Text

Alright. Let’s give this a shot.

SPOILER-Y DISCUSSION OF CAPTAIN MARVEL, INCOMING:

I figure the best way to do this is chronological; my prior attempts have not been chronological, which might account for their feeling a little...all over the place and unorganized.

This will also be a good test to see how much of the film I remember.

RIGHT THEN: First and foremost, (and we gleaned this from the trailers, obviously) MEMORY-LOSS PLOT. Which is Classic Carol™. She’s lost her memory like. Four times.

(her poor brain D:)

All of this to say: The premise of the movie, a kind of reverse origin story in which Carol figures out who she is, in a very literal but also figurative sense, was a great way to go, IMO.

Love all the moments from Carol’s past. I was admittedly surprised that we didn’t get more of that? But what was there was effective and given the amount of ground the movie had to cover, I think it was sufficient.

So after the dreams** we get the early morning fight with Yon-Rogg (who I was absolutely certain was Yon-Rogg, in spite of all the back and forth speculation and Marvel attempting to ‘hide’ his identity) and there’s exposition, obviously, and the set up of Carol’s struggle with Yon-Rogg’s forced Kree values clashing with Carol’s humanity but MORE importantly...

PHOTON BLASTS.

Love the way they render the energy pulsing just below the surface of her skin. Looks so cool.

Then: Chit Chat Time with The Great Intelligence!

I thought for sure it was gonna be Helen Cobb.

BOY WAS I MISTAKEN. (More on that in a sec.)

Favorite Visual #1: The slow pan of Starforce and the excellent shot of Carol’s helmet as they swim to shore on Torfa.

The whole rescue mission sequence/Carol’s kidnapping is...Truly a Highlight, in my opinion.

I mean!

She’s running around the enemy ship! Without her boots! Pummeling the Skrulls with unwieldy metal shackles! And growling in their faces!

#BOSSOFSPACE

Also, comic connection alert: Carol was kidnapped and experimented on by the Brood, which resulted in her stint as Binary.

So, back to the movie:

Talos man.

TALOS.

We’ll get to him later.

Okay what month of 1995 does Captain Marvel take place in? Because I was honestly offended that no one, and I mean NO ONE made a Buzz Lightyear joke re: Carol’s outfit and being a member of STARCOMMANDFORCE who checks her wrist communicator to try and make contact.

(Toy Story came out in November so if this takes place in the summer I GUESS I will let it slide.)

But otherwise dug all of the 90s references.

The little Gameboy sound when she calls Yon-Rogg!

(Also, train chase was great but I’m trying to save time though I do feel inclined to mention Kelly Sue DeConnick! Bringing some quality side eye! Very nice.)

Young Fury + Carol = excellent buddy cop combo, 14/10 would take an entire spinoff of their wacky 90s road trip adventures.

‘You look like someone’s disaffected niece’ might be favorite line in the film.

Let’s pause for a moment and appreciate the score, shall we? Pinar Toprak CRUSHES IT; the Captain Marvel theme feels like something out of The Rocketeer but with about 400% more sci-fi synth and I LOVE IT.

**Love the piece of score played when Carol wakes up. (Appropriately titled “Waking Up” I think, on the soundtrack.)

I also like the songs they picked for the movie? This is probably the complaint I’ve seen most often, that they feel obvious and easy, but. I dunno. I was never expecting something like Guardians of the Galaxy? So I wasn’t mad about it.

(In related news, I’ve been listening to “Connection” on repeat ever since the special look trailer dropped.)

Anyways.

GOOSE.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE.

MY GOOD FLERKEN GIRL.

(So, yes, breezing past the bar interrogation--though I do like the ghostly images of Carol’s past that crop up--as well as the trip to Pegasus, again in the interest of time.)

(WAIT. NO. THE TAPE JOKE.)

(Okay for real. Moving on.)

So then. THEN.

The Rambeaus. And the feelings.

Unpopular(?) opinion: I love that this big budget action movie focuses on female friendships and platonic relationships instead of romance THERE I SAID IT

ALSO LIEUTENANT TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I spelled Lieutenant right on the first try. Just sayin’.

But in all seriousness, I love the time we spend in Louisiana. We get a lot of good stuff. Carol getting answers from Maria, Talos arriving with his soda (milkshake?) The standoff with Goose.

(Oh, and how could I forget Maria bidding farewell to the neighbor, shutting the front door as Carol continues to glower???)

‘What’s happening?’ ‘It’s loading.’ XD

Favorite Visual #2 (Chronologically, but actually the one I like best in the movie) The Pysche-Magnitron Light Speed Engine explosion.

(Thank you, Marvel, for changing it to ‘light speed engine,’ which is much easier to spell than Psyche-Magnitron)

But yeah, that was the visual that sold me, in the earliest trailer. I wish I had some profound reason for that, but the truth is I just love blue-glow-y stuff.

BUT ALSO

(And, okay, an additional spoiler- warning because this is a big one. Like. Big.)

...................................................................

Seriously, go away if you haven’t seen the movie yet.

................................................................................................................................

MAR-VELL iS A WOMAN

LIKE THIS WHOLE TIME. EVERYONE WAS SO FOCUSED ON JUDE LAW. And then there was that blip, right before the release, when Annette Bening revealed she was the Great Intelligence, again after months of secrecy so we were all like, HA we know the TWIST.

BUT NO. NO WE DID NOT.

Well played, Marvel. Well played.

This was something I was thinking about before the film came out; I just kind of assumed, because of the lack of an apparent ‘Mar-Vell,’ that Carol would be the first and only Captain Marvel in the MCU. And she basically is, b/c we have no indication that Dr. Larson was moonlighting as a superhero, but regardless this is SO COOL. SUCH A GOOD TWIST.

(A quick Google search on how many ‘L’s are in Mar-Vell led to a serendipitous discovery: an article on the gender swap decision, and apparently it came very late in the game. Like. ‘Already looking at guys to play Mar-Vell’ late in the game. *insert themoreyouknow.gif here*)

Right, okay, back to Feelings:

When Carol’s like: You don’t know who I am! I don’t know who I am!

I was. Emotional.

(Brie Larson is perfectly cast and does a wonderful job.)

Maria’s pep talk? Also caused emotions.

And Maria got to come on the mission! I was pleasantly surprised, and really glad that the visit there wasn’t like. Just a pit stop, you know?

RIP Science Guy, we hardly knew ye.

Again, jumping ahead, but may I just say: It was truly an Experience, watching this movie with folks who had no idea what a ‘Flerken’ was.

Both my friends at the first screening I attended, and then like. Half the theater at the second one. XD

The whole row was like: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT when the tentacles came out.

So yeah, Talos and the 180 on the REAL villains: Nice. The enduring complaint leveled at the MCU is a lack of compelling villains. (I guess Talos technically doesn’t count as a villain by the end of this, but. We’re going with it.) And Carol’s commitment to helping the Skrull refugees lifts plot elements from my favorite portion of the DeConnick run, so. YEP. LOVED IT.

(I was also trying to determine if Talos’ daughter was perhaps meant to be like. a Tic expy. Did it say ‘Tic’ on the pinball machine? Or ‘Tig’? Or something else entirely?)

Loved the...mind prison? sequence. All of it. “Come as You Are,” the Great Intelligence rockin’ out in the jacket, Carol’s Big Damn Hero moment. Brilliant. Spectacular. Amazing.

“My name is Carol.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS

(Or does she say her full name? I can’t remember.)

And then the subsequent fight scene where Carol’s like. Simultaneously kicking butt but also enjoying all this newfound power/strength? A+++++

Favorite Visual #3: Carol sitting on the railing with the lunchbox.

Sad to see Minn-Erva go, but. Was so cool that Maria gets her own hero moment.

And then this big ol’ fight scene where Carol DESTROYS SPACESHIPS WITH HER BARE HANDS.

Favorite Visual #4: Carol going Binary in the red, blue, and yellow suit with the helmet FLYING THROUGH SPACE, LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

All of the visuals from this portion are so on point it’s like they’re pulled straight from the comics.

Favorite Visual #5: When Carol’s staring down Ronan and she like. Does that thing, where you hit your palm with your fist? (IDK the technical term there) And there’s this awesome energy burst and AGAIN, BLUE GLOW-Y THINGS. I love.

I’m pretty sure there’s an interview where Brie Larson talked about watching Indiana Jones? And wanting to be the female equivalent of that.

WELL, that’s the movie I immediately thought of when Carol blasted Yon-Rogg into a boulder, mid-goading.

(Y’know, like the scene in Raiders where Harrison Ford was too sick/tired to do the fight choreography, so he just. Shot the bad guy.)

ALSO, when she drags his sorry butt across the desert? I was IMMEDIATELY reminded of Kara dragging Astra into the DEO.

DANVERS GIIIIRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLS

*ahem*

THE FAMILY DINNER AT THE END?????

LITERAL FOUND FAMILY OF ALIENS AND SOLDIERS AND SUPERHEROES JUST. HAVING DINNER. PLAYING UNO. WASHING DISHES AND SINGING "PLEASE MR. POSTMAN”?

Thank you, Marvel, for this beautiful gen fic material.

WHOOPS I forgot the costume colors bit. (Admittedly confused it with the ending wherein Monica gives Carol her jacket back. Sans ketchup stain.)

So backtracking ever-so-slightly...

Let’s see if I remember this right: We get

Red and gold (Binary send-up, possibly? Or maybe the original Ms. Marvel costume?)

IDK what to call it....Lite-Brite? (♪ makin’ thi-ings with lii-iii-ight ♫)

Black and Gold (bathing suit costume?)

White and Green (original Mar-Vel/Kree colors)

That last one’s the only one that’s like. Obvious and deliberate. I’m just guessing with the others.

BUT CLEARLY I am ABSOLUTELY ONTO SOMETHING with the Lite-Brite.

BACK TO THE ENDING Lt. Trouble gives Carol her jacket and that’s my fav look, out of all the costume variations we see in the movie. I mean. I love the black and green, admittedly, and the helmet looks SO GOOD for being something that should be ridiculous, but my go-to answer for superhero costume design is: add a leather jacket.

Favorite Visual #6: Carol in the suit and flight jacket, floating above Earth, ready to go save the day.

AND THEN SHE’S OFF.

Ooooh, ooooooooh, but we can’t forget the scene. The scene that I’m certain ticked off The Continuity Police. (You know the types.)

See, remember when Marvel was like, ‘Carol’s the first Avenger!’ and haters were like, ‘UH HELLO IT’S STEVE????!????’

And then Marvel was like, oh ho ho ho, we meant LITERALLY the ENTIRE INITIATIVE IS NAMED AFTER HER CALL SIGN AND SHIELD STARTS LOOKING FOR SUPERHEROES BECAUSE OF HER ERGO SHE IS THE FIRST die mad about it.

That was so very, very satisfying to see.

(Also I guess she’s a literal Captain in the air force? If the rank on the jet is legit. Pretty sure she’s a Major in the comics, though. But I assume this change is to help sell the ‘Captain Marvel’ name.)

And then, friends. And then.

I was fully prepared to leave the theater, uncertain of when we’d next see Carol.

EVEN AS THE MID CREDITS SCENE PLAYED. I was like. ‘Well, they’re gonna cut it off before we can see anythINOHMaNTHERESHEIS!!!!!!’

‘Where’s Fury.’

*insert aesthetically pleasing keyboard smash here*

BRING ON ENDGAME.

And before we wrap up here, one final note:

The Space Stone, sought after by Trickster Gods and Mad Titans alike, was for a brief time, nothing more than a glorified furball.

FIN

(Nope, wait. One little anecdote before we go: of my core group of buddies, I am the Comics Nerd, and thus I am often consulted after we’ve watched a Marvel movie. So I had to explain that YES, Kara Danvers had the last name Danvers first, but she was adopted, and her GIVEN fake name was Linda Lee, so in all fairness, the same-name thing is a little less plagiarize-y, b/c ‘Linda Lee Danvers’ does not necessarily match up as well as ‘Kara Danvers’--which wasn’t even used until really recently--to ‘Carol Danvers’. ...Honestly, I was just really happy they called out the connection MY WORK HAS NOT BEEN IN VAIN XD )

Also, I sometimes get replies on posts like this which is totally fine BUT, I would ask that folks keep really spoiler-y stuff out of ‘em. At least for a little while.

#captain marvel #captain marvel spoilers #MAJOR SPOILERS #PLEASE BLACKLIST THIS AND SKIP IT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET #long post #hark! a text post!

408 notes · View notes

smokeybrandreviews · 5 years ago

Text

Cheeseburgers

The Infinity Saga is over. The MCU is moving forward into uncharted waters. Disney+ has pushed back certain shows and moved up WandaVision. Black Widow finally has a well deserved movie, postmortem. The future is wide open but, before we get on a brand new pain train, i wanted to take a look back and talk about some of my favorite movies from the first eleven years of the MCU.

Avengers: Infinity War

This movie, man, is probably peak MCU. There are better films in the series but you’ll be hard-pressed to find a film that walks the line of comic book and cinema to deftly. This is the penultimate tale for that first decade and what a f*cking climax it was. Holy sh*t! There was just so much good in this film, from character development to visual flair to legitimate stakes. I’m a massive Marvel fan and i am well aware of the Infinite Gauntlet saga in the comics but seeing this sh*t? Seeing Thanos actually Snap? I never though in a million years that would happen onscreen. And then it did. It was at that point i absolutely knew the MCU was about that life. I knew to expect the unexpected because , with the wealth of the Marvel universe to draw from, they were going to craft some motherf*ckers of stories.

Like, I f*cking cried when Pete got dusted. I shed legitimate tears and I’m not even embarrassed to say it out loud. For a film to move me like that? and it’s not Forrest Gump? Motherf*cker had to be on point, for sure. The entire theater was silent as those strings hummed and Thanos sat on his farm, smiling contently. I had never experienced that before The entire auditorium - completely silent. We were in disbelief. We were in mourning. I saw Infinity War in theaters four times and literally every time, the same thing happened. In two hours and some change, Marvel had gave a theater full of people straight emotional trauma. Your movie has to be absolutely on point for that to occur.

Speaking of Thanos, yo, how was this big ass purple grimace looking motherf*cker one of the best antagonists of film, period? How was this cat written so well? I lost my sh*t when they teased him at the end of Avengers and that little bit we got of him in Guardians was cool but i was not prepared for how goddamn formidable he turned out to be. Josh Brolin brought this character to life but the writing gave me real agency. I was flabbergasted by how great this character turned out to be. Thanos felt real. He felt flawed. He felt legitimate. Id have to put him up there with The Dark Knight Joker and Hans Landa as one of the best antagonists ever.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

I adore Spider-Man. Ive written at length about that love. He’s the reason i even picked up that Marvel comic all those years ago. I’ve seen every cinematic iteration of Webhead and i mst say, this portrayal is the truest to the source material i have ever seen. Cats get on the MCU about making him Tony Stark jr. but most people don’t understand that’s where he was going anyway. Most people don’t know that, in the comics, he’s basically Reed Richards jr. and since the MCU has no Reed, Tony is a pretty smart substitute. But that argument is inconsequential because the core of who Spider-Man is, the actual spirit of the character, has been captured so perfectly by this version of Pete, it’s borderline miraculous. I love Tobey McGuire’s take in Pete because he was the first to do it. Kind of like how i have such nostalgia for the 89 Batman. That version of Spider-Man felt like the old Lee/Ditko version from the 60s. Andrew Garfield was adequate. He didn’t get a fair shake though, mostly barbecue the writing in his run was so goddamn terrible. But this new kid? This casting was as perfect as RDJ was to Iron Man.

Tom Holland kills it as Spider-Man. His version of the character feels right. It feels modern. It feels like Ultimate Pete but grounded in the spirit of the 90s cartoon version. He’s this massive geek, this kid really, granted power in tragedy and it feels so goddamn authentic, i couldn’t believe it. The second he showed u in Civil War, i absolutely knew Underoos was about to be a star in these films and that is saying a lot considering how loaded this cast has become. Homecoming was the first film we got to see Pete stretch his legs and it was f*cking brilliant. Everything about this movie is what a great Spider-Flick should be and the MCU nailed it! if i never got another Spidey appearance, this movie was more than enough to sate my appetite. Homecoming is my second favorite MCU movie. I loved every second of it!

Also, how about that Aunt May stinger, though?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Look, i love the Dark Knight. For me, that is the pinnacle of a capeflick. That movie was a great crime thriller first, a Batflick second. Nolan approached it with a grounded sense of reality that left you, as an audience, breathless. It is one of the best films i have ever seen in my entire life and Ledger gave one of the most brilliant performances ever captured on celluloid. There is nothing as good as that film in the MCU. The Winter Soldier comes f*cking close, though. This movie made me sit up and realize that the MCU had some teeth. Until this thing came out, i thought we were going to get a bunch of flamboyant costumes and snarky Wedonisms. I wasn’t mad, mind you, Avengers was dope, but Winter Soldier took all that campy bullsh*t out back and murdered it. This movie was the MCU growing up and almost everything afterward has been brilliant. The Winter Soldier forced everyone to step their game up with how goddamn brilliant it turned out to be. I can’t say there were any performances as great as Ledger’s Joker but i can make the argument the overall writing was better than The Dark Knight, and that is stupid high praise.

Guardians of the Galaxy

This film has no right to be as good as it is. I went into this thing on a whim, mostly because I thought it was going ti be filler like Ant-Man or something, and then it wasn’t. It was great. Legitimately great. I had no idea the MCU could take a C-rate team like the goddamn Guardians and uplift them so beautifully. James Gunn took those characters and wrote the best Star Wars film since f*cking Empire and I didn’t think that was possible, not with this wayward branch of Marvel History. Seriously, if you do even a minuscule amount of research on who the Guardians are, they’re a joke. I mean, they have a f*cking talking Raccoon on the team! Gunn had the wherewithal to lean into that and he produced one of the best in the entire MCU. He took these loser clowns and injected so much emotion and humanity into them, you couldn’t help but love their rag-tag asses. This was the first MCU movie to move me to tears. That stuff about Quills mom? I felt that. Both times. On an extremely personal level. I was the young Quill. I watched my grandma, the only person who i believe loved me unconditionally up to that point, die just like Quill’s mom; Cancer and everything. I was about his age when it happened, too. That sh*t f*cked me up. To this day, i have nightmares about it. Seeing that sh*t so accurately captured in a capeflick was the most for me and I legit had to leave the theater until the first part of the movie passed. To this day, i can’t watch that scene. I can just barely make it through the Dance of to Save Th Universe, but that opening gambit? No way. It hits way too close to home for me. Still, for a comic book movie to solicit such a response? It has to be special and Guardians is one of the best.

Iron Man

Boy, we’ve come a long way since Tony Stark uttered those fateful word, “I am Iron Man.” But none of these other films would even have the opportunity to exist if he hadn't said them. Iron Man had the tall order of being the first, proper, MCU film AND compete with The Dark Knight. N one thought a film about B-List superhero, narcissistic billionaire, and straight up lush, Tony Stark, would amount to anything. How wrong everyone turned out to be. I knew, from that second i saw the teaser and concept art by Adi Granov, that Marvel was taking this sh*t crazy serious. Then there’s the casting of Robert Downey Jr. That sh*t was a boon, for real. The entire cast of this first film was impeccable but RDJ makes this movie. He IS Tony Stark. Even before he got comfortable with the character like in the later films, fresh out the box with the scripts, you can tell he knows how to bring this tinkerer to life. You had to nail that aspect in order to have any chance to build something great and Marvel hit a goddamn bullseyes, for sure. Revisiting this flick, Iron Man isn’t as good as the later films in the Infinity Saga but it still holds up against the vast majority of entries and that’s saying something.

I love these films, man. As a geek growing up reading these stories, reenacting them with their action figures, sitting glued to the television every Saturday as their cartoons aired, I never imagined id see such a berth of fantastic media brought to life on the silver screen. Seriously, some of my favorite interpretations of these characters appear exclusive in the MCU. War Machine, Thor until recently, Ant-Man, f*cking Hulk? i never gave these assholes the time of day in the comics but in the MCU? They’re fantastic! And it has everything to do with how well written they are in-universe. There are over twenty films in this run an i love all of them to varying extents. Spider-Man: Far From Home, Black Panther, Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Endgame, Thor: Ragnarok, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 all could have made this list. For sure, they’re 6 - 11 or whatever, but that speaks to the sheer depth of the MCU. I’m not even counting flicks i would consider B-tier like Captain Marvel or Avengers or Iron Man 3 or Doctor Strange; All of which are still dope in their own right.

There is just SO much great in these films and i can’t wait to see where we go next. With Disney acquiring Fox, Marvel finally has the full toy box to play with and i am absolutely a tizzy with the potential arcs they can adapt. Secret Wars? Annihilation? Age of Apocalypse? Avengers Disassembled? Dark Reign? F*cking Onslaught?? I have no idea where we are going but i am, for sure, jumping on this pain train once again.

#Marvel #MCU #Infinity Saga

2 notes · View notes

smokeybrand · 5 years ago

Text

Cheeseburgers

Avengers: Infinity War

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Also, how about that Aunt May stinger, though?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Guardians of the Galaxy

Iron Man

2 notes · View notes

talesofafangirlwithadvr · 6 years ago

Text

Endgame of Thrones (April Picks)

Does it even matter what else I watched earlier this month because THIS WEEKEND! If every weekend was like this one I don’t know how I could function. Thankfully Game of Thrones’ Battle of Winterfell and Avengers Endgame were on two different days so my body had some time to process it all. But even preparation couldn’t get me ready for all of the action that occurred. Here come the spoilers!

Spoilers.....

Spoilers....

Spoilers...

I’m serious here they come!

GAME OF THRONES 8x03

After last week’s episode I was FEARFUL for what would come at the Battle of Winterfell. The impending battle that was foreshadowed since the beginning was inevitable and with several (if not all) of the characters reaching a full character development I grew even more worried for their safety. 8x02 had to be one of my favorite episodes of GOT so far because we had some many characters reuniting and under the same roof with these full circles being made. The top moment for me had to be when Brienne of Tarth became Ser Brienne. Then I immediately started hoping she would survive the next episode. (Thanks writers for making us not be able to just enjoy anything anymore.)

So, last night as 8x03 began I got ready for the worst, unsure if anyone would survive and after watching I have to say that I am shocked at how many people lived through it. (Which once again makes me very fearful for what lies ahead in the rest of the show. There’s no way all of them will make it, right?) Our main focus has been on the Night King and his oncoming dark night that I was SHOCKED when Arya killed him! I thought we would have to fight him for multiple episodes. Okay, I actually thought he wouldn’t have even been at Winterfell. I believed the theory he was going straight for Kings Landing which actually would have probably been the smarter move. After he was killed I sat there for a moment like: What are the next 3 episodes going to be about? Completely forgetting that Cersei exists.

But that kill! WOW ARYA! I did not see that coming. I thought Jon would have been more of a contributing factor in the Night King’s death due to him being the product of Fire and Ice, but other than getting lost on his dragon Jon basically spent the episode on the sidelines. I was so happy that Arya got to kill the Night King with one of her oldest tricks. Which of course now makes me upset for her safety. Another full character arc?

I just wish Bran looked more thankful. But then again he only wears one face now-a-days. As I’ve heard several people mention, I really do hope we learn why the Night King was so obsessed with Bran (who btw I was expecting to have more of a role in the fighting).

There’s so much I want to discuss about this episode but let’s take a moment to remember the fallen: Edd, I knew someone would die protecting Sam and it made sense to be him. Your watch has ended. Lyanna Mormont, I was so worried about her and this crushed me, but she went out like she lived: a badass. Beric Dondarrion, so many times I was like how is he still alive? But it was all for a reason as Melisandre predicted he would help Arya survive. Theon Greyjoy, the complete character arc worried me, but I didn’t think we would lose him this soon. He went out protecting Bran, in the place that was his true home and Bran said he was a good man. What is dead may never die. Jorah Mormont, earlier in the episode as he was one of the first ones on the front lines to charge I didn’t feel confident and was all the more impressed as he made it back time after time. But it all made sense as he had to protect Dany one last time. [Man, as I’m writing all of these out they are starting to become realer and I don’t think I can handle it.] And last but not least, Melisandre, who I was pretty shocked to see at the start of this episode. She came in clutch and the living would not have been able to win without her. Valar Morghulis.

As everyone predicted the crypts were not the “safest place in Winterfell” as once the Night King emerged the dead started to rise. Once again, I was pretty shocked that we didn’t have more major character deaths down here. I loved the touching scene between Tryion and Sansa as we transitioned between the battlefield and the crypt with no audio except for the music track. Very impactful.

There is so much more I can say, but these were definitely my first thoughts on the episode. I can’t believe the battle has come and gone and now we have to venture back to Kings Landing. Be safe my friends!

AVENGERS ENDGAME

Over 10 years in the making and 22 films later Avengers Endgame closed a chapter in Marvel history. Walking into the theater I was not emotionally, mentally or physically (3 hours/no bathroom break) prepared. The night before I had re-watched Infinity Wars (and just like with Game of Thrones) prayed for the safety of these heroes.

I know it was said before but SPOILERS ARE COMING!

My first thought for defeating Thanos seemed to rely on time travel, but I was surprised to see that it took 5 years in the world after the snap before traveling back to get the infinity stones. I LOVED how much of a role Antman aka Scott Lang played in this role. (Thanks to that rat for hitting the right buttons after 5 years.) This character gave us some more insight into what had been going on for that amount of time and of course brought more humor to the film. (I mean he does deliver one of the best lines that gets repeated by Cap later: “That’s America’s butt.”

Opening with the Hawkeye flashback as he has a typical afternoon with his family and then the snap happens where he loses everyone was so tragic. I was not expecting the movie to start that soon as we usually see the classic Marvel opening. The transformation in his character made so much sense and was really interesting to explore. I liked how we got to see both Hawkeye and Antman included where they were missing for the previous film.

This movie reminded me why I enjoy the MCU so much with all the references to previous films. The site of the first Avengers film: New York City 2012, brought back so many great memories and made me want to rewatch all of them. I loved how we got some exact flashbacks from the movies and then some added scenes showing more of a transition from one movie to the other. (Example: The Avengers to Winter Soldier and Captain America’s “Hail Hydra” moment in the elevator. Of course, I also enjoyed seeing Loki again as it seems that we did truly lose him.) Also seeing clips of old movies from a different angle was cool, like with Starlord singing at the start of Guardians of the Galaxy. Other time events we had never actually been to before, but were still a great trip with Steve seeing Peggy again and Tony his dad. I personally loved seeing Jarvis.

One of the biggest moments for me was when Captain America held Thor’s hammer during the final battle. It had been predicted in earlier films (particularly Age of Ultron) that he would be worthy enough to wield Mjölnir and they were right. There’s times where he’s using the hammer and the shield and then he alternates with Thor. So good!

Just as with the Night King in GOT, Thanos is defeated in this film, but it is not without loss on our side. It starts with Black Widow sacrificing herself for the soul stone. I was really hoping there was some sort of loop hole that would bring her back because of all the time travel stuff and was really shocked when Bruce Banner/Hulk said he tried but wasn’t able to get her back. I had heard rumors of Scarlett Johanssen getting her own Black Widow movie so I am a bit confused unless it is a prequel story. Either way I hope this isn’t the last we’ve seen of this hero. Tony Stark’s death was one that I thought might happen going into the movie, but it did not prepare me for it actually happening. As I was talking about before with the full circle character development, Tony experienced this. He was also the kick off to the MCU, so it made even more sense for this ending. His final sentence: “I am Ironman” still gives me chills. While Captain America didn’t technically “die” and lived out his life with Peggy as he always wanted, it was also a goodbye to his character. It was great to see him pass the shield over to Sam but it will still feel a bit strange to not see Steve next film.

There’s so much more that I can continue to talk about and I know as soon as I publish this article I will probably think of something else to say, but as you can see I definitely enjoyed this movie and can’t wait to see it again in theaters.

So, I survived the weekend! I hope you did too. Let me know how you feel about all of this!

#endgame of thrones #spoilers #game of thrones #game of thrones review #got 8x03 #battle of winterfell #Arya Stark #avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #avengers endgame review #tony stark #steve rogers #natasha romanoff

14 notes · View notes

lightandwinged · 6 years ago

Text

Endgame happened!

Spoiler free: easily the best superhero movie I’ve ever seen, mindblowing in the best possible way, I cried like a little baby so much, and while it wasn’t perfect, I still think that it hit all the right beats and hit them correctly in a way that should genuinely make the DCU sit down and think about how it will never be this good.

(spoilers beneath the cut!)

WHEW LADS

I spoiled myself for this movie, so I knew basically everything that was coming and every beat the movie would hit, and I did that because I like to know how many tissues I’m going to need by the end of the night (the answer was that I haven’t needed that many since Return of the King, holy shit). I’d also seen a lot of the early criticism, and while I agree with some of it (I’ll get to it), the rest was eh to me.

The only thing I did NOT like was Thor’s arc, which it seemed like straddled the line between funny and sad a little too much. Like, it was genuinely sad because you could tell that this was his manifestation of PTSD: letting himself go completely, hiding away from the world, drinking beer and playing video games all day. I felt like it was less that it was played for laughs and more that people just thought it was funny because it was just too sad to accept. And Thor in-universe wanted people to think it was funny because accepting that it wasn’t hurt too much. At the same time, I don’t know how they could’ve done the arc better with the time they had. The movie was already bursting at the seams at 3 hours long, and there was so much happening. I REALLY HOPE that the way the film hinted at Thor joining up with the Guardians of the Galaxy isn’t just a red herring, because I will absolutely buy a thousand tickets to see that on opening night. And if he is in Guardians 3 (side note: I wonder if that’s why GotG3 suddenly spiked as people’s most anticipated upcoming MCU film?), I feel like that will allow him a little more room to react to Things.

Tony’s entire arc was perfect, beyond perfect. It blew me away, and I genuinely feel like RDJ should be nominated for an Oscar for it, if nothing else than for the sheer scope of the performance. It was absolutely heartbreaking, but it was also done so well--Tony’s entire story has been this kind of fear of death in one way or another, so in the end, having him accept his own death to save the universe was fantastic. And I knew he was going to die, even without reading spoilers (RDJ’s contract is up, after all), but it still hit me so hard when he did.

Steve’s arc felt really good, too, though I know a lot of people have had problems with it. It felt earned, and it felt deserved, and I was perfectly fine with hand waving all the possible issues his ending caused because he looked like Fred Rogers at the end. His entire story has always been a reverse of Tony’s: he’s never feared death and has always had a willingness to die, but he wanted something that his conscience never allowed him to have (that being a normal, peaceful life). Him finally allowing himself that peace felt right.

(and he 100% cleared it with Bucky beforehand, every single aspect of it, from “but wouldn’t going back to have that dance with Peggy break time?” to “but you’re being tortured while I’m dancing???” and I guarantee Bucky was like “bitch, if you don’t do this, I am going to dust you”)

Looking at the Nat thing, that felt inevitable, and it was the first thing that made me cry. It also felt like a huge culmination of her arc. Her entire story through these movies has been to try and wipe away the red in her ledger, and I doubt that anything she ever did would’ve been enough in her mind. Like looking through the writing of the story, she did feel like the best option for the soul stone, and her death hit me WAY harder than Gamora’s, because on Gamora’s part, you understood that Thanos’ love for her wasn’t the kind of love that would’ve fought to be the one to sacrifice himself for her. Clint loves Natasha, as much as she loves him, and to see him lose her so soon after losing his family (well. Film-wise, at least) was wrenching. And Jeremy Renner was AMAZING in this. He looked so haunted. Good job, dude.

I still really like Thanos as a villain, because he remains one of the few movie villains who’s actually read the Evil Overlord Checklist, so victory against him isn’t because he fucked up somewhere along the way (he knows that turning into a snake never helps) but because it was a contest of wills, and the heroes’ will was stronger than his. That makes their victory feel properly earned, and not narratively forced.

Odds and ends:

Steve wielding Mjolnir made our entire audience scream and clap so very loud, and I’m glad one of the view good bits in AoU paid off in a major way.

Thor getting lightning powers will always be very sexy to me.

That final battle was legit the best I’ve ever seen, including Helm’s Deep and Pelennor. The sight of everyone coming out of the magic yellow portals looked exactly like a comic book spread, and I really hope Stan Lee got to see a cut of it before he died.

I appreciated the moment of Carol being escorted through the battlefield by the (admittedly, depressingly small) entire cast of women who’ve played a major role in these movies and were still alive (including the Wasp, who was my favorite because she spent the entire battle like “???? what the fuck is even happening? I guess I’m here now?”).

All of the five years post snap scenes were haunting, in that “life after people” kind of way. I LOVED Scott wandering through the neighborhood that’s all overgrown and a mess, with no idea what’s happened or what any of it means.

I also loved that all the time shenanigans basically set up “here is how we’re dealing with there being 72 different versions of these characters in the comic books, also here is why Loki, Scarlet Witch, and Vision are able to have their own series, even though 2/3 of that sentence is dead.”

Really, I’m just a slut for time travel shenanigans.

And Thor and Captain Marvel. Brie Larson looks SO good with short hair. Help.

I just also loved that even though they planned their time travel adventures down to the second, they still managed to fuck it up royally because, at the end of the day, these guys are just a bunch of a-holes.

Anyway. I am emotionally compromised. This movie felt like a real finale, and it was a good finale. It gave me the same vibes that Return of the King gave me back in 2003, where it wasn’t 100% perfect (me, to this day: BETTER TRANSITIONS BETWEEN YOUR SEVEN ENDINGS, PETER JACKSON), but it still hit all the beats I wanted it to hit and served as a nice ribbon to tie up the series. A solid A of a film, five stars, I need to see it again but this time with more hydration so I don’t have a crying headache afterwards.

#avengers: endgame #avengers: endgame spoilers #my thoughts on this movie: let me show you them #my eyes hurt that was a lot of crying

7 notes · View notes

wintryknight13 · 6 years ago

Text

Time For My Death Sentence

I always wanted to share my thoughts on old shit. And since severals years have passed, I'm sure I (a ghost) can freely give unpopular opinions on things without getting noticed (I know I'm pressing my luck). Maybe not a minority reception, but small nonetheless. Alright, here goes the list:

1. I hate pineapple pizza. (Easy enough)

2. I can't stand SJWs. They make me think liberals are plain stupid and delusional (and I lean a bit more to the left). I can go on a long rant about them but I won't do it here. And plenty have already beaten me to it.

3. Fandoms are horrible (yeah yeah I know I shouldn't generalize but truly, the most vocal ones just ruin it for me)

4. Supernatural was good for the first 6 seasons. Afterwards it gotten repetitive, inconclusive, and irritating.

5. Big Bang Theory too, for 4 seasons. I hate when it turned into a Rom-Com like it's FRIENDS. I'm glad it's coming to an end (hopefully)

6. I love the high school musical trilogy, I don't care if it's corny or dumb.

7. Twilight doesn't deserve all the hate it got. It wasn't even that bad (except for Breaking Dawn, I can understand that)

8. I still very much enjoyed the second half of Death Note even after L's Death. I love Near and Mello (And Matt!).

9. Ah, My Goddess! is the best and only Rom Anime I ever enjoyed. Keichi and Belldandy are a wholesome couple.

10. I hate the Germany = HRE conspiracy in Hetalia. There, I said it! I always saw them as 2 different people. I'm also not a GerIta shipper. Oopsie.

11. Naruto Ending sucks ass, I'm sorry. It ended with shitty couples and cheap power-ups and Bigger Baddies (A Goddess WTF) and unresolved themes/problems and the LAST movie and emptiness and many more questions. All just for the spin-off Boruto.

12. Fire Emblem needs to get rid of avatars and waifus. It's getting ridiculous.

13. I like Young Justice (not a super fan), but I hate the time skips and overload of new characters. I love Wally(RIP?), but could care less about Spitfire, they're like my least favorite couple.

14. I hate the New 52 DCAU art style. Just, no.

15. With the exception of volumes 1-3, RWBY is utter trash.

16. Legend Of Korra was decent. Tho my only favs were Bolin, Varrick, and Tenzin.

17. I love Gotham, but I hated the mismatched rom drama and resurrecting dead people schtick.

18. I Despise Disney Remakes. They are all TERRIBLE.

19. Speaking of Disney, I MISS 2-d animation. Those were beautiful times.

20. Lyrical Rap Music with meaning is 10x better than that mumble shit.

21. I wasn't at all affected by Hughes' Death in FMA (I'm wading dangerous waters). I mean yeah, it was tragic, but I didn't cry or lost sleep over it.

22. I'm too late in the game to like or enjoy KPOP. BTS is alright tho.

23. Polar Express is the BEST Christmas film. I dgaf what anyone says.

24. I like Jason Todd's white tuff, regardless if it only lasted for about 2 issues. Keep doing your thing, Fanart.

25. If you look past the flaws, FF13 isn't that bad. I enjoyed it. Lightning was a good MC.

26. What's a girl gotta do to get some manly ukes/bottoms around here?! It's all just submissive, girly pretty boy content! (Sorry, inner Yaoi Gal talking)

27. Feminism is stupid. Just wanna put that out there.

28. Y'all need to stop making Bruce the bad guy/father in Batfam Fanfics.

29. Alice & Zouroku, After The Rain, Gakuen Babysitters, and Monster are such underrated animes. Different genres, but all so AMAZING.

30. Amber is my least favorite character from Darker Than Black. Change my mind!

31. Jason Griffith was the ideal voice of Sonic The Hedgehog for me. Nothing can prove me otherwise.

32. Katniss didn't deserve Peeta. He's too much of a sweetheart to have kids with that Skank.

33. Percy Jackson needs a TV series. The movies didn't do my treasure justice!

34. Since we're on Percy Jackson, wasn't much of a fan of Percebeth. I love them as separate characters. Together? Meh.

35. I prefer the original, female, flat-chested, in-depth, badass, beautiful Saber in the Fate Series. The other versions can't even compare.

36. Alice from Detroit: Become Human should've been a human girl instead of an android. The weight and beauty of Kara's story is lost, and via replays Alice just becomes a nuisance.

37. Rise Of The Guardians NEED a sequel.

38. Marvel is good at movies. DC is good at animation. That's my gospel truth and I'm sticking with it. Ultimate Spiderman and the Dark Knight Trilogy are the exceptions.

39. I never seen Steven Universe or BHA. Too overrated.

40. Pokemon: I Choose You was the worst Pokemon Movie I've seen. From the lack of Brock & Misty (And Team Rocket. Honestly, where did the original backstory went?) to Pikachu fuckin speaking for the first time.

41. Just because America is indeed not the best country in the world, doesn't mean all other countries are automatically better.

...I know there's more, but this is what I got from the top of my head. Respond however you like. I litted the fire, after all. Heh, it's probably a good conversation starter.

16 notes · View notes

eddycurrents · 6 years ago

Photo

For the week of 25 March 2019

Quick Bits:

Action Comics #1009 takes a moment to assess the damage caused by Leviathan as Superman, Lois, Jimmy, and Waller try to put the pieces together in the Fortress of Solitude. More inventive use of Superman’s x-ray vision from Steve Epting and Brad Anderson.

| Published by DC Comics

Amazing Spider-Man #18 continues “Hunted” unveiling the Kraven-bots and plan for rich folks to hunt the animal-themed villains (and Spider-Man), but not exactly why. This one also falls into the clichéd trap of bringing back obscure z-list characters only to kill them in order to show the stakes. I’m kind of getting tired of that, but otherwise this is still entertaining. Great art from Humberto Ramos, Victor Olazaba, Edgar Delgado, and Erick Arciniega.

| Published by Marvel

Avengers: No Road Home #7 takes us inside Spectrum’s worries and fears about what she’s becoming as the team tries to prevent Nyx from reclaiming the shards. It really feels like the entire creative team have been stepping up their game these past few issues, but as Paco Medina and Jesus Aburtov take over the art reins again this issue, it feels like the bar has been raised again. Beautiful artwork.

| Published by Marvel

Bad Luck Chuck #1 is an entertaining and unique debut from Lela Gwenn, Matthew Dow Smith, Kelly Fitzpatrick, and Frank Cvetkovic. It stars Charlene Manchester, a seeming walking disaster, who has started up a business for the chaos her mere presence causes. It’s different, there’s some nice incidental humour and a hook for a broader story involving an insurance investigator tailing her, all with some wonderful art from Smith and Fitzpatrick.

| Published by Dark Horse

Batgirl #33 is pretty heavy as Babs deals with James being released. Great work all around from Mairghread Scott, Elena Casagrande, Scott Godlewski, John Kalisz, and Andworld Design really delivering on the heightened emotions Babs is going through with the release of her serial killer brother. Particularly the switch between blue and red washes Kalisz uses when Babs confronts her father.

| Published by DC Comics

Black Hammer: Age of Doom #9 continues through this bleak new world where almost everyone has forgotten who they were and there’s apparently a lot of gay panic, on Earth and Mars. It’s rather disturbing. Dean Ormston and Dave Stewart deliver some great moody art.

| Published by Dark Horse

Black Science #39 gives us a heartfelt and humorous reunion, possibly one of the final good moments before the series is going to pivot to the end. I get the feeling that Rick Remender, Matteo Scalera, Moreno Dinisio, and Rus Wooton are going to put us through hell reading the final arc, so this bit of happiness with some funny stories and at least a bit of retribution, is great to see.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Coda #10 is huge as Si Spurrier, Matías Bergara, Michael Doig, and Jim Campbell work through some of the truth of what’s been driving this entire story. It’s damn good, with some of the best storytelling in comics right now.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Crimson Lotus #5 is one of two finales this week for a Hellboy universe mini-series, seeing the end to John Arcudi, Mindy Lee, Michelle Madsen, and Clem Robins’ tale of Crimson Lotus’ early days. I’ve loved the set up for Dai and Shengli in this series and definitely would not be averse to seeing more, there’s a nice feel of pulp action and mystery from a different perspective than what we’ve seen in Lobster Johnson. Also, there’s a great surprise appearance.

| Published by Dark Horse

Daredevil #3 is proving that Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, Sunny Gho, and Clayton Cowles’ excellent first two issues are no fluke, “Know Fear” is easily shaping up to be one of the best Daredevil stories in decades. There’s a wonderful depth and complexity to the characters, the tension of a broken and beaten Daredevil coming into conflict with the police is taut, there are some amazing surprises, and the art is phenomenal.

| Published by Marvel

Dial H for Hero #1 is some ridiculous fun from Sam Humphries, Joe Quinones, and Dave Sharpe. We’re introduced to the new guardian of the H Dial, Miguel, an average boy forced to work his Uncle’s Mayo Madness food truck after what’s possibly the death of his parents (it’s not made explicit, so something else could have happened), searching for another thrill after being saved by Superman. Quinones’ art is one of the main drawing factors, with an incredible shift in style during the hero portion, both he and Humphries do an incredible job poking fun at the approach.

| Published by DC Comics / Wonder Comics

Doctor Strange #12 reunites Mark Waid and Barry Kitson for part one of “Herald Supreme” as a pushy, obnoxious alien steamrolls Strange in an attempt to stop Galactus from destroying his homeworld. It’s weird to see Strange brought low again so soon after the first arc, along with the destruction of all of the magic his artifacts house, but it is an interesting predicament he finds himself in struggling to stop Galactus from devouring the mystic planes.

| Published by Marvel

The Flash #67 builds off of last issue’s Rogues spotlight on the Trickster and the previous sub-plot of Commander Cold’s investigation as Joshua Williamson, Scott Kolins, Luis Guerrero, and Steve Wands kick off part one of “The Greatest Trick of All”. Kolins reminds us why he’s one of the best Flash artists of the past few decades amidst a story that is bizarrely happy.

| Published by DC Comics

The Forgotten Queen #2 reveals more of War-Monger’s history, as she navigates the possibility of feelings of love for what seems to be the first time. Really intriguing character-building here from Tini Howard, Amilcar Pinna, Ulises Arreola, and Jeff Powell.

| Published by Valiant

Friendo #5 concludes with what feels like one of the weirdest interpretations of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas I’ve ever read. The horror story of rampant consumerism mixed with reality television comes to a head as Leo finally gets his Action Joe action figure in possibly the most extreme way. Alex Paknadel, Martin Simmonds, Dee Cunniffe, and Taylor Esposito end this wild ride on a high note.

| Published by Vault

Go-Bots #5 is the incredible end to what has been an excellent series reinterpreting the Go-Bots by Tom Scioli. It started as a relatively normal interpretation of the property, working well with nostalgia while still presenting a unique rumination on free will and robot ethics, then elevated into all out insanity pushing the Go-Bots in new and frightening directions as the bots took over. This final issue explores that post-apocalypse further and cleverly seeds the idea that the Go-Bots were the progenitors to the Transformers.

| Published by IDW

Hellboy and the BPRD: 1956 #5 is the other conclusion in the Hellboy universe this week, detailing a bit more of Hellboy’s time in Mexico, particular after Esteban’s death and he was filming wrestling movies. There’s some wonderful character moments as he laments Esteban’s loss and the even more personal loss of his best friend and dog, Mac. It also underlines Bruttenholm’s lack of soft skills and empathy, not noticing either Margaret and Archie’s romance or how bad Hellboy is hurting emotionally right now. Great work from Mike Mignola, Chris Roberson, Mike Norton, Michael Avon Oeming, Yishan Li, Dave Stewart, and Clem Robins.

| Published by Dark Horse

Invaders #3 adds more fuel to the fire with an uncaring American military moving forward on a perceived and actual threat from Atlantis and more questions about Namor’s past and possible mental instability. Chip Zdarsky is doing some very interesting things with plot threads spilling out of Secret Empire and acting as essentially a bridge between Avengers and Captain America.

| Published by Marvel

Isola #7 sees our duo come across a quarry town full of women who’ve had their children and men snatched up by the war or worse. It’s an interesting development of the real human cost of war, but it also opens up a mystery as to what or who is really taking the kids, and what they’re possibly becoming. Brenden Fletcher, Karl Kerschl, Msassyk, and Aditya Bidikar continue to produce one of the most beautiful, intriguing, and entertaining comics on the shelves right now.

| Published by Image

The Lollipop Kids #4 has some absolutely stunning artwork from Diego Yapur and DC Alonso. Previous issues have been incredibly impressive, but some of the compositions in this one take it to a whole other level.

| Published by AfterShock

Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt #3 reveals just how thoroughly insane the Ozymandias-styled, world-“saving”, alternate Cannon is as Kieron Gillen, Caspar Wijngaard, Mary Safro, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou continue to push this story in intriguing directions. It’s funny, because the conflict, the superhero battles, feel like window-dressing for something else still. Especially as the “good” Cannon traverses panels.

| Published by Dynamite

Sabrina the Teenage Witch #1 is another entertaining debut under the new “Archie Forever” initiative, from Kelly Thompson, Veronica Fish, Andy Fish, and Jack Morelli. Like the previous titles, it appears as though there isn’t a lot (or possibly any) of overlap with the other series, introducing us to this rebooted Sabrina’s family. It’s off to a good start, familiar faces in play, humour abounding, Salem being a little bellend, and the mystery of a wendigo.

| Published by Archie

Sharkey: The Bounty Hunter #2 is worth it for Simone Bianchi’s gorgeous artwork alone. Bianchi has always been an interesting artist, with inventive layouts and character designs, rich colour choices, and a beautiful soft-focus, painted style, all of that on display here for this story.

| Published by Image

The Silencer #15 is a bit bittersweet since we know that it’s ending now, I would have hoped given how tied to Leviathan that it is that the series would at least see a tie-in to the forthcoming Event Leviathan, but sadly no. In the mean time, we’re still getting an excellent action comic from Dan Abnett, V. Ken Marion, Sandu Florea, Mike Spicer, and Tom Napolitano.

| Published by DC Comics

Star Wars: Vader - Dark Visions #2 is another excellent self-contained story exploring Darth Vader’s effect on others, from Dennis Hallum, Brian Level, Jordan Boyd, and Joe Caramagna. This one takes a look at the desperation and recklessness that fear of Vader’s wrath can have on someone. The layouts from Level are phenomenal.

| Published by Marvel

Stone Star #1 is a great digital original debut from Jim Zub, Max Dunbar, Espen Grundetjern, and Marshall Dillon. It introduces us to a pair of scavengers on a planet being visited by a travelling battle arena ship, kind of taking its cue from hero shooters like Overwatch and more traditional fighting games like Mortal Kombat. There’s an interesting hook of human (or alien) trafficking to go along with the coming-of-age tale that’s set up as one of the scavengers, Dail, is offered a chance to possibly study and train with the gladiators. Great art and character designs from Dunbar and Grundetjern.

| Published by Swords & Sassery

Transformers #2 engaged me a bit more than the first issue. It’s still very methodical and slow in its pacing and revelations, but there are some interesting hooks in the mystery of who murdered Brainstorm and in who was taking potshots at the Ascenticon rally. The mix of politics and self-determination through will to power is certainly an interesting concept from Brian Ruckley.

| Published by IDW

William Gibson’s Alien 3 #5 concludes what has been an excellent adaptation of Gibson’s screenplay by Johnnie Christmas, Tamra Bonvillain, and Nate Piekos. This final chapter ramps up the action and the stakes as the remaining survivors try to flee the station before blowing it and the aliens inside up. Tons of great horrific art from Christmas and Bonvillain.

| Published by Dark Horse

Wonder Woman #67 continues “Giants War”, with G. Willow Wilson doing a decent job of further rehabilitating Giganta. Also some interesting developments regarding the titans that may not be titans.

| Published by DC Comics

Other Highlights: 30 Days of Night 100 Page Giant, The Avant-Guards #3, Beyonders #5, Black Panther #10, Black Widow #3, Bone Parish #8, Books of Magic #6, Breakneck #4, Cinema Purgatorio #17, Detective Comics #1000, DuckTales #19, Fantastic Four #8, Femme Magnifique: 10 Magnificent Women who Changed the World, Fight Club 3 #3, Freedom Fighters #4, GI Joe: Sierra Muerte #2, GLOW #1, Goddess Mode #4, Hardcore #4, Hex Wives #6, Ice Cream Man #11, Invader Zim #41, Ironheart #4, Jim Henson’s Beneath the Dark Crystal #8, Jim Henson’s Labyrinth: Coronation #12, Jughead: The Hunger #13, Justice League Odyssey #7, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Tempest #5, Martian Manhunter #4, Marvel Comics Presents #3, Marvel Rising #1, Mera: Tidebreaker, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #37, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur #41, Outcast #40, Punks Not Dead: London Calling #2, Quincredible #5, The Realm #12, Rick & Morty #48, Rick & Morty vs. Dungeons & Dragons: Director’s Cut #1, Sabrina: The Teenage Witch #1, These Savage Shores #1 - Black & White Edition, Spawn #295, Spider-Man/Deadpool #48, Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #30, Star Wars Adventures #19, Super Sons: The Polarshield Project, Superior Spider-Man #4, TMNT: Urban Legends #11, The Umbrella Academy: Hotel Oblivion #5, Viking Queen, Wasted Space #8

Recommended Collections: Animosity: Evolution - Volume 2: Lex Machina, Asgardians of the Galaxy - Volume 1: Infinity Armada, The Ballad of Sang, Barrier - Limited Edition Slipcase Set, Charlie’s Angels - Volume 1, Cloak & Dagger: Negative Exposure, Coda - Volume 1, Flash - Volume 9: Reckoning of the Forces, Mind MGMT Omnibus - Volume 1, Ms. Marvel - Volume 10: Time and Again, Regression - Volume 3, Sheena: Queen of the Jungle - Volume 2, TMNT: Rise of the TMNT - Volume 1, War Bears

d. emerson eddy is just a worthless liar. He is just an imbecile. He will only complicate you. Trust in him and fall as well.

#This Week in Comics

3 notes · View notes

plunder-heaven-and-devour-god · 7 years ago

Text

I gots to discuss Infinity War: Spoilers everywhere under the cut.

I can see why a lot of people decided not to see Infinity War after seeing some spoilers. If I had known the details of one of the spoilers, I might have not gone to see the movie.

But I’ll get to that. (go to #6 to see right away)

Overall: I enjoyed the film. It’s not everyone’s bag, you have to be okay with pretty much 80% of the people dying. And going into it, I kinda had this idea so there was a certain excitement and zeal to that. Kinda like how writers get excited about torturing their favourite characters. BUT THEN I GOT THAT

AND

JESUS CHRIST

1) This movie doesn’t pull punches. Like, Gamora? The entirety of the guardians minus rocket? Spidey, Dr Strange, Black Panther, Heimdall, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Sam, like...literally almost everyone.

There’s definitely the idea of how do we break these characters? Gamora begging Peter to kill her, then him finally pulling the trigger to have it be warped by the gauntlet? That killed me, the characters were pushed to their limits of what they were willing to do to save each other. It was heartbreaking. Wanda has to do the same thing to Vision and succeeds, kind of. AND ITS HEARTBREAKING. JEsus FucKinG ChRisT.

2)This movie is, strangely, really really really funny. I caught myself laughing at times and begrudgingly so.

Iron Man calling one of Thanos’ minions squidward had the entirety of my theatre cracking their ribs with laughter, we all lost it. Drax has the best line in the movie.

3) I have never seen an audience cheer, and engage and then gasp. People were holding their heads and gasping, someone screamed no. IT was great audience experience. When Thor comes in with his Axe and decimates hundreds people people yelled YESSSSSS THORRRRR.

They do take time for each of characters to have powerful moments to mourn. And god it hurts. When Quill finds out about Gamora after Nebula connects the dots is heart wrenching. Tony watching everyone around him dying, including Doctor Strange? I did find the romance between Quill and Gamora a bit rush, but I think the Russos were banking on the audience basically expecting it so they kinda just got that ball rolling.

4) Many people took issue with the Russo’s after Civil War, decrying “where is our captain america movie? This was an Iron Man Movie.”

And their right, it was an avengers movie, and I don’t mind because it took the bad taste of Ultron out of my mouth, it provided ample chaos and dissent within the ranks to keep me happy. I don’t hate Iron Man, I would even say a casual fan. People demonised him after Civil War but after seeing his trauma, fuck up after fuck up and the weight of these fuck ups drive him to deman accountability? I appreciated that. And! I’m not a huge Captain America fan. I love Chris Evans, I love everyone’s love for the character. But I just don’t care about Cap. I don’t find him engaging, I am not invested in him, and I’m always happy to see him contribute to plot, I just don’t weep if I don’t see him.

That in mind: The Russos? How did they do?

This is a tough movie to make in the best circumstances, how do you make sure that Marvel actually has one huge baddie and not a faceless army to smash? How do you keep the stakes? Make sure everyone’s got their fave characters represented? Make sure they get respectful deaths? Thread the stories together? And balance individuals story arcs with the main plot of the film. I think they did it well enough, and with humor and some compelling death scenes. Some parts dragged a little, and I think sometimes cut to a different story line when we were waiting for pay off in the moment.

That being said I think I need to go over my favourite character and my least favourite part of this movie.

5) Thor is amazing in this movie. No really. Chris Hemsworth and the Russo’s knocked it out of the park. He doesn’t have the rapid fire improv jokes like Taika’s Thor but he still retains some of that. There’s a joke about Kevin Bacon and Thor’s response had the audience in stitches. He does huge feats of strength, he stares death in the face and he says come fucking get me I’m doing this for the universe anyways. He opens up the gate for the Forges of Nidavellir manually in the middle of space and is almost devoured by radiation. He takes down hundreds of mutated Chitauri with lightning, flight and great moves. But he’s a leader and a nomad sort of. I truly appreciated what he did.

Rocket asks him about his life and Thor, trying to be brave through tears and sniffles, says that he has lost everything, his brother, his father, his sister, his mother, his home, his people. He’s got nothing left. He wipes his tears and smiles and your heart breaks.

Okay...

So...

the part I hated.

6) Loki’s death scene. *deep sigh* I’ve been mentally prepping myself for this since 2012 after the first avengers, that expectation was renewed after he survived Thor the Dark World. Third times the charm and the movie makes it amply clear that he isn’t coming back, even he can’t come back from that. Him coming back from that isn’t the issue, I wasn’t hoping for that.

I hated it because the death which I was expecting for so long WAS SO MUCH MORE GRATUITOUS THAN THE OTHERS.

Now you’re thinking, Jaria, are you not being overtly dramatic? NO! Even the others in my party were shocked, the theatre was shocked, it was uncomfortable, it was hair raising. Heimdall is stabbed through the chest, standard view of his dead body. Gamora, we see her sprawled at the foot of a cliff, everyone disintegrates into Ashes. But its either after the fact of death, a quick death, or like Lord Voldemort at the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

Loki basically trades the tessaract for Thor’s life after trying to bluff. We all knew he had no ability to pretend he hates his brother, his brother is his whole life. Then after the Hulk fails to kill Thanos in a fight and is projected to earth by one last desperate move by Heimdall Thor is strapped down by huge bulks of metal hull until he can’t move and he can’t scream.

Loki waltzes out from a corner to try to bargain with Thanos, tell him he will need a guide for earth, all while unsheathing a dagger in his palm. Thanos isn’t stupid he sees this coming. Loki goes through the words we know so well: I am Loki, God of Mischief, (gives a loving look to Thor), son of Odin, and you will never be a god.

Thanos YANKS him up by the neck in a huge fist and starts choking him.

Guys, it feels like a full minute. A full minute of pure, unadulterated horror, watching Loki claw at his throat, begging Thanos to let him go. Loki wiggles and impotently fights and pounds at his fist, this face wrangled in pain, as he desperately fights for air, you watch the literal life pour of him, his mouth is open and gasping for air.

IT. IS. SO. UNCOMFORTABLE. I CAN’T EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH.

His panic subsides and he dies. I’m not a squeamish person, I can stomach gore and yeah, I’ll recoil at first, but then I’ll forget about it and move on and probably demand more blood. This is a question of why so gratuitous? Why was it so much more disturbing than the other deaths?

It’s gratuitous, it felt like something out of a show like Game of Thrones, I swear to god. I’m not making this up. IT felt above the maturity rating of any of the deaths. Kudos to Tom Hiddleston because HolY ShIT it was hard to watch, I can’t remember when I saw a movie when I felt like someone was actually dying in front of me. And I’ve seen him act out a death scene twice before as the same character.

Like I said, standard stab, post death at the bottom of a cliff, shot, dispersing into sand/paper. This...this stayed with everyone? People kept remembering during the evening, bringing it up and going: that was horrible?

Then, he’s dropped like a sack of grain. Thanos departs, and leaves Thor on a ship that’s literally exploding. HE crawls over Loki’s corpse, grapples onto his chest and holds on for dear life while sobbing. It’s gut wrenching.

The reason this was so horrible was probably:

A) Loki isn’t coming back, it’s final this time.

B) Thor needed motivation, Loki was the last straw in some respects, his last tether and his beloved brother. So it makes sense for Thor to get all these emotional scenes, push into uncharted and dangerous territory and wage war on Thanos single handedly if he needed to.

He does sink an axe into Thanos and, in a roundabout way, say this is for Loki. Loki died a hero, which I’m happy about. But jesus fucking christ did I have to shake off the feeling that they actually killed someone on set?

...

GUYS THAT WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE, NOT JUST FOR FANS OF THE CHARACTER. THAT WAS ABOVE EVERYONE’S TALL ORDER FOR LOKI’S DEATH. IT WAS TOO MUCH.

Now I’m pissed again. But I can say this movie is worth checking out for yourself to decide how you will feel about the film. I thought I wouldn’t enjoy it at all and came away with some parts I truly enjoyed. Except for the one with Loki (DID THEY HAVE TO DO THAT THAT WAY???!?!? COULD IT NOT HAVE BEEN A QUICK SWIPE TO THE NECK AND HAVE A SHOT OF HIM LYING DEAD?)

My brother and a couple of my friends were watching me for my reaction, a few people here too. To be frank Loki is one of my favourite characters period, so this was going to be a tremendously sad part for me. This is my reaction: I’m mad, sad, and gratuitously shooketh.

#infinity war #infinity war spoilers #spoilers #iw spoilers #marvel #marvelspoilers #is this enough tags?#Ive got many emotions #so so so so many

4 notes · View notes

theprocrastinatingalien · 7 years ago

Text

Marvel Cinematic Universe - Ranking the first 18 movies.

We're nearly there, the movie event of the year is nearly upon us... AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR is out within the next week!

Like many, I'm ridiculously excited. A little sad as I don't get to see it on opening day, I will have to wait until Monday 30th for my viewing... but seriously, the joygasms for this movie are pretty intense.

I've noticed many people/websites rating and ranking the existing MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) movies, and I couldn't help but do the same. I'm not going to 'review' each film, although I will probably pass some sort of comment.

Whatever follows is, of course, purely my opinion. Everyone has their own favourites, this list is just the order that'd I'd place these movies. So let's get on with it. The TOP 18 MCU MOVIES....

18. THE INCREDIBLE HULK

Whilst I'd rate the movie higher that Ang Lee's HULK outing, this movie doesn't quite live up to the rest of the shared universe in which it belongs. The lasts act of the film devolves into what looks like a big budged computer game as CGI character bashes around CGI character. It's not that I don't like the film, I just use it as the bench mark to compare all films in the franchise. It doesn't help that I never believe that Edward Norton turns into Hulk in the same way that his successor Mark Ruffalo does. Plus that recasting really pushed the movie into being the forgotten member of the family.

17. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

It's very possible I'm being unfair to this movie, but I've just never really rated it that highly. The cast are good, for me it easily trumps THE INCREDIBLE HULK, but I always felt it was a little dull in places. It's got a good heart to it, and Chris Evans makes his mark of the title character. The sequels overshadow it vastly though.

16. ANT-MAN

Whereas a lot of the MCU entries feature humour, I'd never class them as a comedy... ANT-MAN, to me, is comedy first. Paul Rudd is good in the role, I was quite excited by his casting, but sadly the film sometimes feels to me as if it's a parody of the franchises rather than being a part of it. I prefer Scott Lang in CIVIL WAR over a film about it. The knock on effect is that I can't muster up much excitement for the sequel... yet.

15. THOR: THE DARK WORLD

When I first watched TDW, I thought it was better than the first, but upon rewatching the movie just doesn't quite appeal in the same way. There are some nice moments, but I don't find the Dark Elves compelling enough, nor an I excited about Jane Foster's involvement. Chris Hemsworth is good as the God of Thunder, naturally, but this film will always rank at the bottom end of the scale I think.

14. THOR

I feel mean rating this film so low - I loved it when it came out, but other movies just tend to surpass it. It introduced us to Asgard, Thor, Loki... it has a lot to offer. Just not enough to be higher on this list!

13. IRON MAN 3

On the slipside, I was extremely disappointed with IMIII on my first viewing, yet until THE DARK WORLD, this trilogy closer grows on me each time I see it. Knowing what's coming actually works to this film's advantage (such as the 'Trevor Slattery twist', and director Shane Black offers some beautifully shot scenes. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if this is once film that risings up next time I do this list.

12. IRON MAN 2

Controversial, I know. Many would possibly rate this movie at the bottom of the pile, but I think it deserves more credit. It doesn't stand up to rewatching in the same way that the third part does but it deserves it's dues... it's the first sequel. Every other film is sequel now, but IM2 was the first to bring back a cast (albeit with Don Cheadle replacing Terrence Howard). It introduced us to Black Widow, Sam Rockwell is great as Justin Hammer, we get more Nick Fury (following on from a simple cameo in the first), we get more suits, the birth of War Machine, and whether you like Mickey Rourke's Whiplash of not, the Monaco scene is pretty cool.

11. SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

Oops... another controversial decision? Expect this movie to be a lot higher? Don't get me wrong, it's a good film. I believe it cements Tom Holland as the best (or at least my favourite) Spider-Man. The humour is great, Iron Man's role adds rather that detracts, the talking suit is a great addition, I'm on board with Marisa Tomei's younger, hotter Aunt May than we're used to... but for me something's missing. It follows in some pretty big footsteps. I'm still of the mind that Sam Raimi's SPIDER-MAN 3, whilst messy, wasn't a franchise killer and that the fourth movie should've gone again. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN was unnecessary - it did gives us Andrew Garfield's Spidey (and I believe him to be superior) and Emma Stone is a great Gwen... but the sequel was terrible, a total misfire. HOMECOMING... feels a little small. I guess that's the point, but towards the end I found it not that well directed, and Vulture, even with Michael Keaton playing him, a weak villain. I AM looking forward to the sequel in 2019 though - I wonder which Avenger will appear?!

Oooh, okay, here we go... we're hitting the TOP TEN!

10. DOCTOR STRANGE

Personally, I really enjoyed Marvel's venture into the other magical realms. I get why some don't like it (I'm actually not a massive fan of Benedict Cumberbatch's American accent) but I thought it was a fun origin film. I'm eager to get more magical stories! It has great visuals, and whilst I was annoyed with her casting at first, Tilda Swinton's Ancient One is a highlight. In time, with more viewings, I might end up lowering the my position for it, but right now it makes my Top Ten.

9. IRON MAN

Everyone needs to be thankful for IRON MAN. If it hadn't been a great origin film for the character, then the MCU wouldn't have been built. IRON MAN, with Robert Downey Jr's charisma and Jon Favreau's direction became the foundation for every movie that has followed. I wish I could rate it higher as I don't ever want it to slip out of the Top Ten... but the MCU has offered us some awesome movies...

8. THOR: RAGNAROK

Unlike the first couple, RAGNAROK finds the right balance for it's lead. Chris Hemsworth as got comedy game, which was never utilised properly. Under Taika Waititi's direction, Hemsworth gets to shine. It also brings in an adaption of PLANET HULK, with Hemsworth and Ruffalo working well. Karl Urban is welcome to any cast, as is Jeff Goldblum... but it also swaps bland Jane Foster for Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie. A potential future female Thor? Maybe! Also, Cate Blanchet's Hela is probably one of the best and watchable villains in the MCU yet. Will we see her again?

7. BLACK PANTHER

I'll admit, I have only seen this movie once... whereas I've managed a second viewing of all the others to solidify my views. Based on one showing, BLACK PANTHER is a stand out, for an individual hero it is the only besides IRON MAN that doesn't misstep, It has all the advantages of the most up-to-date tech, and it does an amazing job of developing Wakanda, with all it's characters serviced well - Okoye (Danai Gurira) and Shuri (Letitia Wright) particular highlights. Considering the country and it's inhabitants will serve as a major part of INFINITY WAR, this film feeds towards excitement to see more.

6. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

This film changed the face of the MCU. It destroyed SHIELD, a force that had been a thrust for the action since IRON MAN. It's the first movie to be directed by the Russo Brothers, who are at the helm of INFINITY WAR, so it's important to see what they do here. What they do is make Chris Evans' Steve Rogers one of the most compelling and relatable heroes in the franchise. He could've been pretty one dimensional, but this movie elevates him. I believe until this movie came out, Robert Downey Jr/Iron Man was the symbol of the MCU, but THE WINTER SOLDIER puts Cap right up there. It also features more Scarlett Johansson, and introduces us to Falcon. Those are good things to do.

5. CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

Like IRON MAN 3, I was disappointed with this movie the first time I saw it. I had expectations, and it didn't live up to them. Oddly, those expectations concerned the death of a main character. The fact everyone got out alive (Rhodes was badly injured, but sadly this was shown in promos) was jarring as it took away the jeopardy. it made me question, for the first time, if Marvel were just too scared to let go of a potential cash cow. Luckily, INFINITY WAR has been confirmed to have some pretty high consequences, and what the Russo brothers do here is prove they can handle a lot of characters. The Airport scene features twelve important characters share the same frame as they battle each other in what, ends up being quite an emotionally draining film. Cleverly, this movie could easily have been an 'Avengers' movie, but instead is a Captain America movie, as his friendship with Iron Man is pushed to the limits. Like IRON MAN 3, I appreciate this movie the more I see it. The fact it has such a large ensemble brings added excitement, and pushes the film higher in my list.

4. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2

VOL 2 deserved more praise than it got. It follows on pretty closely to the Vol 1, and I think it is probably the perfect sequel to the first movie. James Gunn expands on the relationships between the gang, deepening their friendships, love, and loyalty. It adds great new characters (Mantis), whilst continuing to make you care about the existing ones... even the ones you may have dismissed in the first (Yondu and Nebula). Also, I think Kurt Russell's Ego is great as Quill's father, and suitable massive for what is quite an intimate film. It's a lot of fun, but riding on a lot of emotion. And of course it has a kick-ass soundtrack. Also... Baby Groot steals every scene.

Ooooh, look where we're at... the TOP THREE!!!!

3. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

Another movie I feel is just undervalued. I make no apologies for being a Joss Whedon fan. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, ANGEL and FIREFLY earned me his respect, and here, following up to the first movie, I believe he manages to make another amazing outing for the super team. It has killer robots (voiced by James Spader no less) and a city floating high in the sky, about to wipe out humanity. It gives us Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, as well as Vision. Sure, there are some missteps in there, I'm not going to say it's perfect, but it's damn near. There's so many things to enjoy, people should stop looking for the negatives and allow themselves to devour the humour, emotion and geekiness of the film.

2. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

When this film was first announced, I scoffed. I didn't know about the Guardians, and I hated the idea of a talking raccoon and an Ent... but from the first trailer I was sold, and the movie didn't disappoint. The music, the action, the actors, the characters, it all comes together and works. Director James Gunn is quickly elevating himself to Whedon status in my eyes. In many ways this movie was a risk for Marvel, they originally billed it as a stand-alone. Two solo films featuring these characters, and now we're faced with the gang mixing with the Avengers... and really, is anyone NOT excited by that? Thor hanging with Rocket & Groot, Star-Lord quipping with Iron Man and Spider-Man... This is the movie that made INFINITY WAR reach the scale it's going for...

And finally...

1. THE AVENGERS

There's actually not a lot for me to say. It's my favourite movie. It's my go-to happy place. I've watched it more than any film. It brings Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk and Thor together for the first time. And it makes it work. Joss Whedon's writing is typically electric, Loki is a great villain for the movie and it was our first introduction to a hellicarrier.

Where will INFINITY WAR fall in this list? Every bit of me wants it to be the best. Instantly. No rewatching. I think it has the potential to be. I WILL miss Whedon's writing, but I'm glad James Gunn was on hand to help the Russo Brothers with the Guardians' scenes. I'm predicting Top 3. In just over a week, I'll be able to tell you. How exciting!

2 notes · View notes

furederiko · 7 years ago

Photo

This is the LAST post for December, meaning it's also the FINAL post for the year. Anything special to publish in the conclusive day of 2017? NOPE. Just this... uhmmm, random ramblings. Ahahaha...

My internet went down completely for around 2 weeks since December 13th. The unexpected 'incident' (I apparently has burned my modem *sigh*) made me switched into my creative side and did genuine FUN non-internet related things instead. And I got all caught up by it... that I practically did NOT prepare anything for Tumblr.

Had a Random-News-Digest prepared for mid-December, but ditched it completely because the content would be highly outdated now. Wanted to do my monthly recap-view for "Kamen Rider Build", but haven't finished it so it'll have to wait until next month. The only thing I could pull off was the recap-views for "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" last 2 episodes of the year. Though to be honest, that amazing show was part of my 'offline fun' as well. So yeah, unlike last year, there is no TOP 10 list this year. Didn't even publish anything for Christmas, because I completely FORGOT about it! LOL... (^^;)

Anyways, to make up for all of that, I've written a rough 'RECAP' of what went through my life this year. Entertainment-wise, of course, and not all but just some of the highlights. In list form! Why? Because I feel like it *grins*. Here goes nothing...

Movies, Oh movies...

- Watched even less movies on the theatre this year, and opted to wait several releases on home video. Only went to see the big guns, thus there isn't any disappointment. - Surprisingly, I loved the live action "Beauty and the Beast" more than the animated original. Dan Stevens' solo number "Evermore" is stuck in my head ever since. - Haven't seen "Coco", and really want to. Here's hoping the home video will be released soon. I guess I should see "Cars 3" first, huh? - "Dunkirk" was magnificent. War movie is usually not my forte, so I'm pleasantly surprised that Christopher Nolan managed to make me enjoy one. Was it the short duration, the all-out jerks of the army, or the non-stop intensity? Don't know. But if there's at least one thing I've gained from it: I disliked Harry Styles ever more now. No kidding. Poor French soldier... - I'm a visual guy so when I saw a disturbing scene, it usually stayed on my head for a good while. That bloody scene after the bomb explosion on "Stronger", for example? *sigh*. I hope Jake Gyllenhall receives an Oscar nomination for his work on this movie. - "Death Note" and "Ghost in the Shell"? Enjoyed the first one more, but both deserved better. - Tom Cruise's "The Mummy" was mediocre, but I'm among the minority who actually want to see more of Universal's Dark Universe. Even if just to see more of Russell Crowe going Jekyll. Charlie Hunnam's "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword" was the movie's kindred spirit, while "Kong: Skull Island" was the opposite. Kong will be meeting Godzilla in the coming years! - Comic book adaptations were generally top notch. Naturally the three Marvel Studios' releases; "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2", "Spider-Man: Homecoming", and "Thor: Ragnarok"; would be my top picks. Don't ask me to choose which one is the best though! All three were amazing and marvelous in their own unique ways, so I'd gladly rank them in the same spot just to be fair. - I admit, "Logan" and "Wonder Woman" were great too, but I didn't like them as much as everyone else on the planet. Not sure why, I guess... none of them was my cup of tea? Let's just say, there were problems on each of them that I couldn't quite tolerate and it reduced my overall impression on them. - Don't ask about "Justice League". I'll wait until I can borrow a copy when it's out on home video. Not wasting my money on a poorly reviewed DC Films. For now, "The LEGO Batman Movie" remains to be the best DC release of the year. - "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" was just NOT as good as the prequel. It was fun, but it felt like it's repetitive yet also missing something and trying too much.

Show Must Go On...

- Just realized that I've seen MORE TV series this year! Both the currently in broadcast, or titles from previouse years like "Westworld". Oh WOW... - Both Marvel's "Iron Fist" and Marvel's "The Defenders" were genuine duds. Both TV series were underwhelming and disappointing, that I have lost any urge to see Marvel's "The Punisher". - Haven't seen Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." 5th season as well, because I haven't been feeling it. Though that will change in the near future because I'm itching to see its 5th episode. Hey, my boy Fitz and Hunter are the star of that episode, right? THAT I just have to see! I wonder if seeing that episode would be enough to convince me to watch the previous four episodes... - Currently following Marvel's "Runaways", though this 1st season might be my first and last. Don't know why, but not feeling it either. I think CW's "Riverdale" was a more watchable show, and even that one have been dropped after Season 1. LOL. I guess teenage soap-opera is just NOT my thing. - The 5th and final season of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" was kind of... all over the place too. This show should've ended with Season 3, if you ask me. It had a bittersweet ending, akin to "Samurai Jack". But it also did not ended gracefully, and far less enjoyable to follow. - "Stranger Things" Season 2 was amazing. It had a somewhat different vibe compared to the 1st one, but equally enjoyable to watch. Poor characters whose name starts with 'B'... - I think the 3rd and 4th Seasons of "Voltron Legendary Defender" were initially meant to be one unit. The show's first two seasons were impressive, but these latter two were... okay? I don't know why, but it felt like it has waned a bit. - "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" was somewhat similar. I had great time with Season 1 and 2, but Season 3 was a bit... uneven. Many of the jokes didn't quite hit, and some of the story development started feeling like a recycled trick. Still, I would love to see a 4th Season, and hopefully with better improvements. - Was expecting "Big Hero 6: The Series" to be as amazing as the Oscar-winning movie... but alas that didn't seem to be the case. Didn't quite enjoy the 2-episodes premiere as much as I wanted to. A complete opposite to "DuckTales", that hit all the right notes. The sole complaint I have about this reboot/remake, is that Scrooge McDuck's adventure isn't airing new episodes on a weekly basis! Aaaaargggh, the long wait is making me angry. - If you haven't seen "Thunderbirds Are Go", then what are you waiting for? I feel the 2nd Season had more and more amazing moments, to the point that I hope Season 3 will come sooner than later. - Comedies are taking my leisure time now! Have been following Seth McFarlane's "The Orville". It was mediocre to good, and desperately in need of improvements (hopefully in Season 2). Yet I keep going back and see it. Is it the star power of its guest stars? - Adam Scott and Craig Robinson's "Ghosted" is on my top priority watch. Sure, the quality has reduced a bit since the pilot, but the supernatural agents aren't going anytime soon from my house. - The same with Kevin Finn! Great goodness, I have only started watching "Kevin Probably Saves the World" since early this month (the benefit of NOT getting preoccupied by the internet LOL), but I'm already regretting why I didn't start sooner. Now I honestly can't wait to see more! Kevin is such an adorkable, likeable, and surprisingly relatable quirky lead. The kind of guy I would totally love to be best friends with in real life. Really though, the show is infectuous with its acts of kindness, heartwarming with its pleasant vibes, and also surprisingly engaging through its personal conflicts. If you hear me giggling, laughing out loud, or sobbing lately, you can probably thank Kevin, his guardian Angel, family, and friends for that! Seriously...

A Spoonful of Anime and Toku

- Turns out, "Kekkai Sensen & Beyond" wasn't the sequel that I expected to be. It's... 'different' than the first season. But when you get to see what the other members of Libra (even the team's butler) are doing in their daily lives, should one even be complaining? In the end it was indeed as amazing and fun ride as the first season, even if lead protagonist Leonardo Watch took a back seat most of the season. I'm already crossing my fingers to see more adventure of the team. But it likely won't happen in the near future, huh? Bummer... - "Ballroom e Youkoso" was a peculiar dance. I thoroughly enjoyed the first half, but after Tatara changed partner things got... hectic and irritating to follow? It was still good, but a rather uneven show if you ask me for honest impression. At the very least, it wasn't a wasted opportunity like "Kabuki-bu!" was. - "Houseki no Kuni" was of similar situation. Its animation was gorgeous, story was peculiarly engaging, and world building was great. But there were episodes that were undeniably better than the rest, and I didn't quite like how it ended. I guess that finale was teasing for more seasons? Hmmm... - It's been years since I follow a Pretty Cure series, and "Kira Kira Precure A La Mode" wet my appetite and got me back to the game. Unfortunately, while the design was interesting, and the sweets angle was neat, the story was somewhat weak. I have lost my initial enthusiasm after the first half, but I still watch it because it's going to end pretty soon. Not quite expecting a mindblowing finale though, especially if the animation quality is any indication. A common problem of TOEI Animation. Remember "Sekaisuru KADO"? - Dang it, what an impressive year it has been with Super Sentai. "Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger" was kind of dull and boring last year, but had a great ending this year. And it was quickly followed by something even better. Yes, another show that has dragged me on a pleasant roller coaster ride is none other than TOEI's "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger". Since its premiere run on February, until its Christmas episode that wrapped up its 2017 run, I haven't been disappointed once with the series. Yes, I had an issue with the spin-off series of V-Cinema "Episode of Stinger", but that didn't count as the broadcast lineup. Though it's painful for me to soon say goodbye to this amazing season, I hope its last month will be memorable and a blast. Particularly because I'm currently having second thoughts about the 2018 season... - Just like its weekly storyline, "Kamen Rider Build" is still moving me back and forth. I'm honestly on the verge of dropping it completely, but I guess I'm going to check out several episodes from the next "Kamen Rider Wars" arc. I kind of feel it takes too long to get to this point when it could've been done earlier, but who am I to argue, right?

Name of the Game

- "Nintendo Switch" was a hit! Ever since its release on March 2017, the buzz and hype for this hybrid console only continue to increase. I wonder if I will be able to purchase one next year? Perhaps, just in time for the next Pokemon gen? - Speaking of Pokemon, the addition of Generation III from Hoenn region has made me go out and explore "Pokemon GO" again. The whole Raid Battle system and Niantic's handling of the Legendary Pokemon had disappointed so bad that I was close to give up on this App. Thankfully, now I have a horde of new reason to walk around the neighborhood. Problem is, can the same premise work in the long run? Niantic really need to consider new social features that enables players to engage with one another. - "Street Fighter V" had a weird set of DLC characters this year. The 2nd Season contained mostly new characters, that was a hit or miss with fans. Thankfully, things seem to be picking up next year with the Arcade Edition. Not just because my man Cody Travers is all dandy clean and returning to the game, of course. Question is, will I be able to play the game eventhough I don't have any plans to pick up a PS4? *giggles*. - I also haven't been able to play "Persona 5" due to the exact reason. LOL. Thankfully, "Persona 5 the Animation" has been announced to air next year. Sure, I'm a bit skeptical with the fact that A-1 Pictures and not Production I.G. will be doing the animation, but at least this will be my way of enjoying the game... WITHOUT actually playing it. - LEVEL-5 should do more of that worldwide Puzzle Quest! That was meant to be a prelude or some sort to "Layton's Mystery Journey: Katrielle and The Millionaires' Conspiracy", but I think the game developer should learn by now that it could work as a stand alone project. It made people come together in surprising way, and attracted fans to come back everyday to check out the new worldwide puzzle. Real FUN!

Oookaaay, that went A LOT longer than I expected. And I'm 100% sure that there are items that completely slipped my mind. As of writing this line, it's only just a few hours before the year ends! Aaaaarggggh *grumble*. Gotta publish this one soon then!

With that said, 2017 has been a difficult and challenging year. Particularly to a very discriminative and straight-out evil political atmosphere. One that allowed people to show their true despicable nature and selfishly trampled others for it. Last year I did say that "There's so many reasons to be hopeful about 2017", but reality had spoken differently as it turned out there were plenty more to discourage us throughout the year. Many people have even lost their fate in humanity this year.

But you know what? I'm going to say the same thing this day as well. There are SOOO many reasons to be hopeful about 2018. I don't know if it's because I'm currently caught up in the holiday spirit, or because I've been feeling extra thankful and blessed this month. One thing I can openly attest, is that things DO GET BETTER. So don't ever lose hope, and keep fighting the good fight in the name of just and goodness. I'm being lazy right now, so I'm just going to copy and paste my own words from last year: "Life can sometimes be hard, but all we need to do is stay strong, stay high spirited, and more importantly, keep moving forward! Happiness and blessings will surely find its way, in ways you might not imagine!".

And also this next one... because I'm going to be saying more or less the same kind of statements anyway: "Thanks to those who have been reading my blog all year long. I know I haven't spent much time (or any) to address you one by one, and heck, I might not even know you're there. But please know that I'll always be grateful for your presence, your time, kindness, and more importantly patience to walk through my long and sometimes pointless ramblings. What you've been doing means a lot for me, and I hope what I've been posting has and will somehow benefit back to you in return.". 2017 ends in just a few hours away, so let's enter and stride through 2018 with a hopeful and brave heart, the biggest and earnest smiles, the most sincere love and compassion for others regardless of their religion, race, or skin color. More importantly, let's make 2018 a year that we can be proud of. Where we take a stand for what's right and good! Where we become better human being than we are this year!

SEE YOU TOMORROW IN 2018!!!

#message #quotes #life quotes #wisewords #Just for Fun #random thoughts #movie #TV show #anime #game #review

2 notes · View notes

tigerlover16-uk · 8 years ago

Text

Anime I need to watch (May 2017 update)

... Yeah, I’m a day late with this because I never had the time to sit down and do it yesterday. It’s been a bit busy for me around here, so let’s just get started.

Luckily this one should be quick because honestly... I didn’t actually make much progress this month. Even though I keep meaning to get back to it, I still haven’t watched any more of Yu Yu Hakusho than I had last month, though I fully intend to catch up on it this month. Mostly I just kept getting distracted from it, especially since I got ahold of some DVD collections for other anime. Doesn’t help probably that I was re-watching the Frieza saga of DBZ for fun this month, plus some old movies like the first Yu-Gi-Oh film (I won’t give my thoughts on those since those are things I’d already seen before).

To count, I only watched 3 movies on my last list and I’m part way through 2 other series, Soul Eater and Fairy Tail, which I’ve been watching on DVD.

First off, continuing my catch up on the Pokémon movies was the duology Pokémon Black and White movies... which have probably the dumbest gimmick for a movie I’ve ever seen. Seriously, all the little differences here and there really don’t justify making two different versions of the exact same story. The games can get away with this because it’s been a tradition since the start and different versions give us different Pokémon to catch, but you can’t get away with this idea for movies where the story is the entire point.

And the story isn’t even very good. Honestly, I watched both versions and I still only have a vague recollection of what actually HAPPENED throughout half of these films. A lot of the stuff I do remember was pretty underwhelming. The battle between Reshiram and Zekrom was one of the most anti-climactic in the whole franchise and not even fun to watch for how short it is. Victini is cute, but doesn’t really offer anything that a bunch of other cute legendaries can’t offer in these movies. The climax was a bit dumb, and honestly it was just a dull, forgettable experience. I’m having trouble finding words to really describe these films, they were just lackluster.

And the sad thing is, I can’t seem to find the DVD’s for practically any of the other Pokémon movies that I still haven’t watched besides the most recent one that just got released in my country. So I haven’t watched any more Pokémon movies this month. Honestly looking around, I’m not even sure most of them even have UK dvds made for them, which would be a pain in the neck if that’s really the case. Luckily I do have the Kyurem movie now though, so expect my thoughts on that by the end of June. I just hope I can watch some of the other films by then.

And since I was feeling nostalgic for Naruto, I decided to finally check out some of the movies, starting with the first one Naruto: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow. Which was awesome. Oh, it was nothing spectacular or amazing, feels like it would have been a fairly typical arc for the show in some ways. But as a movie it really works as a cool action movie that embodies the charm and spirit of the first half of Naruto. The production values are great, the action is good, there’s plenty of fun moments and Princess Koyuki was an interesting character. It wasn’t anything groundbreaking or up there with the best stories from the show, but it was a great film, I’d gladly watch it again. I can’t really remember if I had any issues with it, though I didn’t go in with a critical eye so who knows.

And then I also watched the first Shippuden movie. Kinda felt like a somewhat less good re-tread of the former film in some ways, honestly. Shion was a good character but I didn’t really like her as much as Koyuki, the villain was alright, and the story was pretty good, and it was nice to see Lee and Neji get some screen time. Though at the same time, it didn’t feel quite as enjoyable as Clash in the Land of Snow. But maybe that’s just me. I don’t remember quite as much from this movie as the first one though.

Also this month I ended up watching the first 48 episodes of Fairy Tail after buying the first two DVD collections, and honestly... I’m loving it so far. It starts off a bit meh with the first few episodes, but once it gets to the first real arc it’s a really good show. Kinda silly and stupid at times, but it’s pretty fun. The characters are likeable, I like the art and music, and really it’s just the kind of fun, kinda cheesy yet awesome show that I enjoy. I know it gets a lot of flack for being stupid, having overpowered characters, constantly hammering in the whole “Friendship is awesome” concept in really thick and having a laughable amount of fanservice, but honestly I don’t really find any of those to be an issue so far (And if I’m being honest, having watched some of Soul Eater straight after it, I think that show has more frequent and obnoxious fanservice at times, Fairy Tail doesn’t seem all THAT bad compared to several anime I’ve seen honestly. Though I hear the anime tones it down a lot, so what do I know?). But then again, I’m only 48 episodes in, so who knows.

Honestly so far it’s just a really fun, charming show. A little cliché and relying on some stereotypical shonen tropes, but honestly I don’t mind that sort of thing when the overall experience is an enjoyable one. I’ve got some more dvds in the post this week, so I’m happy to watch more of it. Honestly, Fairy Tail feels like the kind of crazy fun anime I’ve been looking for to pass the time with. I’d give my thoughts on the whole show, but honestly a lot actually happens in those 48 episodes, I probably wouldn’t be able to cover everything and this stupid update is already late, so I’ll just leave with those general thoughts and maybe go into more detail in a different post if anyone cares.

And as I mentioned I also watched the first 28 episodes of Soul Eater. I’ll save my overall thoughts for next month when I’ll have probably finished the whole thing, I’ll just say that for the most part it feels like a just above average anime with some really good elements, some weak points and it’s overall decent, but so far I don’t think it’s anything special.

Aaaaand... I guess that’s it for now. I didn’t watch nearly as much anime as in April, but I had a lot of other things going on this month (And I’ve still got plenty of stuff to sort out right now, especially with this stupid car of mine) and other shows to watch. I don’t really know how productive June is going to be, at the very least I plan to finish Soul Eater and hopefully Yu Yu Hakusho, or at least the next arc of it. I know I’ll be watching Yu-Gi-Oh: The Dark side of Dimensions whenever it arrives in the post (I’m so excited to finally watch it), I’m going to watch at least one more Pokémon movie and 5 Centimetres per second. And definitely some more Fairy Tail. Other than that, it’s all a bit up in the air right now. I’m just going to try and sort out my personal life more than anything. So sorry if this update ended up short and skimping on details, I just don’t have as much to say. Looking forward to the next month of anime goodness though.

One Punch Man (Seen four episodes a while back, looks good)

Mobile Suit Gundam

Outlaw Star

Cowboy Bebop

Digimon Frontier

Digimon Data Squad

Digimon Fusion

Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s

Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal

Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V

Sailor Moon (Watched the entire first season and was about halfway through season 2. Should really get back to watching the full series)

Sailor Moon Crystal

Yu Yu Hakusho (Up to episode 67)

Ranma 1 ½

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (2012-onwards series)

Hunter x Hunter (2011)

Fullmetal Alchemist

One Piece

Astro Boy (Any series. I just want to be able to say I’ve watched something from this franchise).

Kill La Kill

Gurren Lagann

Fairy Tail (Up to episode 48)

Little Witch Academia

Tenchi Muyo!

Death Note

Yuri On Ice

Fist of the North Star

Soul Eater (Up to episode 28)

Code Geass

Food Wars: Shokugeki No Soma (I watched about 9 episode, need to catch up)

Your Lie in April

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Mob Psycho 100

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

Phoenix Wright anime

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

Natsume’s Book of Friends

Revolutionary Girl Utena

Eureka 7

Black Cat

Black Shooter Rock

Gunbuster

Afro Samurai

Space Dandy

Vision of Escaflowne

magical girl lyrical nanoha

Shin Sekai Yori

Baccano

Cyborg 009

Gaogaigar

Danganronpa

Yo-Kai Watch

Pretty Cure

Future Boy Conan

Yona of the Dawn

Movies:

Your Name

Garden of Words

Paprika

Tokyo Godfathers

The Boy and the Beast

5 Centimeters per second

Millenium Actress

Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro

The Digimon Adventure Tri Movies

Yu-Gi-Oh: Bonds Beyond Time

Yu-Gi-Oh: The Dark Side of Dimensions

Pokémon: Genesect and the Legend awakened

Pokémon: Kyurem vs the sword of justice

Pokémon: Diancie and the Cocoon of Destruction

Pokémon: Volcanion and the Mechanical Marvel

Pokémon: I Choose You

Ghost In The Shell

Memories

Perfect Blue

Naruto: Legend of the Stone of Gelel

Naruto: Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom

Naruto Shuppuden: Bonds

Naruto Shippuden: The Will of Fire

Naruto Shippuden: The Lost Tower

Naruto Shippuden: Blood Prison

Naruto: Road to Ninja

Boruto Movie

Fairy Tail the movie: Phoenix Priestess

Fairy Tail the movie: Dragon Cry

Godzilla: Monster Planet

Mary and the Witch’s Flower

#anime #Naruto ninja clash in the land of snow #naruto shippuden the movie #pokemon the movie black and white #fairy tail #soul eater

1 note · View note

niamsuggitt · 8 years ago

Text

The Ides Of May 2017

Hi guys! It’s that time of the month again, time for me to write a ‘lil bit about all of the various media I’ve stuffed into my gaping eye and ear-holes over the past 30 days. I would have included mouth-holes there too, but Nintendo deliberately made Switch cartridges taste horrible so unfortunately I haven’t been able to eat one. Oh well.

This month includes the return of some Sitcom favourites, more of me slowly, ever-so-slowly playing Zelda, a Booker Prize winner and a nice heap of Marvel Cinematic Universe fun.

Let’s do it!

—

Movies

Once again there’s only 2 movies this month, and whilst they are both very different, both provide quite a bit to think and talk about. Up first is Anomalisa (Charlie Kaufman and Duke Johnson 2015). This may be surprising given the types of films I normally like, but before watching Anomalisa I have to admit to not liking Charlie Kaufman as a writer. I’ve seen Eternal Sunshine, Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, and none of them resonated with me like they do for so many others. I just find him a bit… pretentious? Like he tries too hard to do different things and in the end it just obscures what he’s actually trying to say? I dunno. But much to my surprise and pleasure, I really enjoyed Anomalisa, which is different from Kaufman’s other work in that it’s animated. This stop-motion story follows a man (voiced by David Thewlis) who is on a business trip to Cincinnati. This man, Michael, sees everyone else in the world, including his wife, a former girlfriend, as the same person. They have the same face, and the same voice (Tom Noonan). That is until he stumbles across one other person who looks different, Lisa, (Jennifer Jason Leigh). It’s a complicated, dare I say, pretentious set-up, but for me it works. The animation is fantastic, incredibly detailed, and it’s used to go to places other animated films wouldn’t. This is a truly adult film, so if after Team America you wanted to see more puppet nudity and sex… I’ve got you covered. The way the technique of having everyone except Michael and Lisa be the same person works is incredibly effective and disorientating. It took about 10 minutes for me to twig it, the unease sort of snuck up on me. I said earlier that I think Kaufman’s gimmickry gets in the way of what he is actually trying to say, but that is not the case here, I think I pretty much got what the film was saying about solipsism, and how so many other films feature a ‘manic pixie dream girl’ who shakes a depressed male protagonist out of their funk. Anomalisa flips your expectations here. Lisa is not Michael’s soulmate, she’s just a blip in his mental illness. If it even is that, he might just be an asshole. That’s not to say that Lisa isn’t a well-drawn character, because she is, and Leigh’s voice acting makes her come to life. Then again, maybe this isn’t what Kaufman and Johnson are saying at all and I’m an idiot. Either way, Anomalisa is a fascinating film that has been rotating in my head since I watched it. It’s unlike anything else I’ve seen lately, and has me reconsidering my position on Charlie Kaufman. I certainly plan on watching the other film he directed, rather than just wrote, Synecdoche New York, and maybe I’ll go back to those other, older films.

Up next, I took a step away from the esoteric puppet show towards the mainstream blockbuster and into the cinema, as I went to see Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 (James Gunn 2017) which is of course (of course) the third film in the third phase of the monolithic Marvel Cinematic Universe. As is par for the course when writing about these films (and some, most, of the TV projects) I feel like I have to fully lay out a bit of bias. I love these films and just seeing these characters on screen and being done justice like this takes away a lot of my critical faculties. Problems I have with other, similar movies, I can brush aside because, hey, it’s the MCU, I trust these people. But that aside, I thoroughly enjoyed Guardians 2, and whilst I don’t think it’s quite as good as the first one, I really appreciate it’s weirdness and how much crazy Marvel Universe lore it puts out there, if only just to hint at. The film of course sees all of our favourites from the first film, Star-Lord, Gamara, Drax, Rocket and Groot return for another adventure, but this time, the stakes are far more personal, as Star-Lord meets his father, Ego, who is brilliantly portrayed by Kurt Russell. Firstly, it was just awesome to be back with these characters again, they are just so much fun. The Guardians are perhaps the MCU versions that are the most different from the originals (of course, the comics have in turn, begun to reflect the movies far more) and as such I have a different emotional attachment to them. I’m not constantly comparing Gamora to the 500 Gamora comics I’ve read in my life, I’m just invested in her relationship with Nebula, and with Star-Lord. As I mentioned, the main plot here is Peter and his father, but the script makes sure that every Guardian (except maybe Baby Groot, but he’s adorable enough that you don’t mind) has their own story. Drax forms a bond with the newcomer Mantis (who is great!), Gamora fights her sister again, but even more personally, and Rocket deals with his anger driving people away. I found myself invested in all of these storylines, and it mean that, whilst the overall plot did sag a bit in the middle of the film, I didn’t mind. I will say that I am a bit sick of people dismissing Star-Lord’s story as ‘just more daddy issues’ or something like that. I think that’s reductive, and to me, the real plotline is how much Peter Quill still cares about his mother. His love for her is what snaps him out of cosmic brainwashing, and let’s not forget that, as awesome as the classic soundtracks are, they do serve an emotional purpose, as they are his only link to Earth, and to his mum. Maybe it’s just because my mother died of cancer as well (although hers wasn’t put there by an evil Celestial, at least I don’t think it was), but if anything, this is far more of a ‘mommy issues’ movie than a daddy issues one. I mentioned the soundtrack earlier, and I will say that this particular ‘awesome mix’ was a bit of step down, with the songs either being too mainstream (Fleetwood Mac, ELO) or way too obscure. Maybe I’m asking too much, but the first movie’s track selection was just perfect, hard for lightning to strike twice I suppose. The other character I want to specially highlight is Michael Rooker as Yondu, who is just amazing here. He has real pathos behind him and makes a character I never really knew into an absolute favourite. His storyline also sees the film do something I really didn’t expect and bring in more of the ‘original’ Guardians, the ones who, in the comics, were in the future. This movie has Sylvester Goddamn Stallone in it as Starhawk and I went in without knowing! I love that Gunn hasn’t forgotten the likes of Charlie-27 and Martinex, and that a major movie can feature characters as weird as them. That’s what sets this film apart from me, it’s not afraid to get a bit odd, and to use weird elements from the source material to their full potential. A few years ago, Ego The Living Planet would be considered way too goofy for a film, but not here, here he’s Kurt Russell! Some of this is pure fan-service, but as mentioned, when it comes to these films, I don’t mind that at all. The Stan Lee cameo was amazing, the teaser in the credits for Adam Warlock blew my mind (it took me an embarrassingly long time to connect Ayesha and her golden skin to that classic cosmic character). This film’s links to the wider universe are like that, more hints. I did expect some big Thanos developments, but ultimately, I don’t mind spending 2 hours just inside these goofball’s messed-up heads. I can’t wait for Vol.3, and I hope that, when the Guardians appear in Avengers: Infinity War, they don’t lose what makes them special. This film was just a blast, it delivers more of what you want, as well as surprising you with where it goes, the best kind of sequel.

Television

There’s one new TV show for me to talk about this time out, in the form of American Gods (Starz), the long-awaited adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s 2001 novel. This is an interesting series for me adaptation-wise because, whilst I have read the book, it was a long time ago and I don’t really remember a lot of what happened. Just the basic gist really. This isn’t like Game Of Thrones or The Expanse where the source material is fresh as a daisy in my mind and I’m constantly comparing the show to what I already know. Here, I’m kind of hazy on the details and it’s a lot of fun being surprised both by what I didn’t know, and what I forgot I knew! The basic plot has barely begun, but basically, Gods are real, they live in America, they are at war, and a man named Shadow Moon (as far as I can call this dumb-ass name does have a good explanation) is drawn into their world after the death of his wife and his release from prison (on the same day). Not only is that, to me, a great intriguing premise, but it’s really elevated by some fantastic performances and amazing visual flair. One of the show’s main producers is Bryan Fuller, from Hannibal, and the opening 2 episodes where directed by David Slade, who directed a fair few episodes of that show too, so you can really tell that there’s a link in how the series looks and feels. The dream sequences and trippier moments are straight out of Hannibal, they are brilliant. There’s a sex montage in Episode 2 with Bilquis that is just insane. The performances so far have been great as well, Ian Fucking McShane is of course stealing the show as Mr Wednesday, but Ricky Whittle is really doing well as Shadow, which must be a hard role to play as he’s kind of intentionally inscrutable and a bit blank. And, if you watch nothing else, watch Orlando Jones’ monologue as Anansi that opens Episode 2. It is one of the best single scene performances I’ve ever seen, it knocked me for a loop. It’s only been 2 episodes, but this is already a fantastic, ambitious series that’s unlike anything else on TV. I can’t wait to see where it goes, and what else I can remember.

This month also saw the return of 2 of my favourite US Comedies. Silicon Valley (HBO) is back for a 4th season of tech-based misadventures. So far this season has managed to somehow feel like more of the same, but also change things up in a lot of interesting ways, as the characters move about into new situations. At the end of Season 3 it felt like we were right back to the beginning, but that wasn’t the case, as we’ve seen multiple characters leave companies, join new ones, sell companies, and all sorts of other manoeuvring. The prospect of Richard actually working with Gavin Belson is very exciting. In amongst all of these shake-ups, the characters have continued to be as funny as ever. I love how Big Head continues to fail upwards, he’s now a Professor at Stanford! And seeing Dinesh get a girlfriend is something we haven’t seen before. I’m also enjoying the increased role for Jian-Yang. Jimmy O. Yang has always been very funny in his brief scenes, but now he’s getting actual stories, which is cool. And man, Zach Woods is still killing it as Jared. He had one moment of madness in Episode 4 that had me wetting itself. At times it does feel like Silicon Valley is in a groove, but it’s such an enjoyable groove!

One series that hasn’t been afraid to get out of it’s groove is Veep (HBO), which is now in Season 6, and is a very different show this season. Of course it changed when Armando Iannucci left, but now that Selina Meyer is out of office, it’s even more different. With the character scattered all over the place, I did feel like the first one or two episodes were a bit lacking, but after that, it’s really found it’s feet and become just as funny and scathing as ever. In the wake of Trump it was going to be difficult for Veep to be the same show as it was before, so wisely it’s pivoted, it still has a lot to say about America and politics, but really, it’s become more about seeing who these characters are in new situations. I’m particularly enjoying Dan working as a TV News Anchor and Jonah as a Congressman has just been brutally brilliant, especially with Mary Holland joining the cast as his new ‘girlfriend’. It’s also interesting that the series has started to delve deeper into Selina as a character, and her backstory. She may be a bit ridiculous, but in the world of the show, she is the first ever female Vice President and the President, she is interesting. So yes, Veep has changed, but it’s still intelligent and funny and well worth watching. When real politics is as scary as it is these days, we need this magnificent bastards to laugh at.

Now for quick hits! We’ll start with comedies. LOL! LOL indeed.

The final episode ever of Girls (HBO) was a bit of an odd one, it jumped ahead to the birth of Hannah’s baby (the horrifically named Grover, and that’s a ‘Niam’ saying that) and only featured Hannah and Marnie from the main cast, out in the middle of nowhere. In a lot of ways, it was a typical Girls way for the series to end, Lena Dunham has never really done the conventional thing. I enjoyed it, particularly Becky Ann Baker’s performance. She’s always been excellent and underrated as Hannah’s mother. I will miss Girls, it was funny, different and always provoked debate, and I can’t wait to see what projects Dunham does next. As infuriating as she can be, she is very talented. How about a Dunham/Max Landis collaboration? That could destroy the internet.

I reached the end of BoJack Horseman (Netflix) Season 3, and holy shit, that was brutal. What happened to Sarah-Lynn just fucked me up. And then it’s followed up by the sublime ridiculousness of Mr. Peanutbutter’s spaghetti strainers actually being useful! That sums up BoJack for me, it can be gloriously silly and funny, but at it’s core it’s a dark series about depression and the sadness at the core of humanity (or animality, whatever). It’s one of my favourite shows ever at this point, and I am very excited for Season 4, and just where BoJack is going to go now. It’ll be bad… but also so, so good.

The Last Man On Earth (FOX) also wrapped up its 3rd season very well. Jasper has been a fun addition to the cast, and the 2-part finale in particular was a great, as the series once again upended it’s cast. Erica gave birth to her baby, but then Nuclear Reactors started going off and they had to flee. This series continues to be brilliant at balancing comedy and real dark drama, as the consequences of a post-apocalyptic world are actually thought out. The very last moment also brought Kristen Wiig in contact with the main cast, and what a way to do it.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX) has continued to be very funny and strong, and one episode in particular really surprised me, as ‘Moo Moo’ became a serious examination of racial profiling in the Police Force. It’s rare that Brooklyn Nine-Nine addresses real issues, but it did it very well here, I think it should actually do more, especially in this era where the Police, in America especially, are not so popular. I don’t want it to become propaganda for the cops, but it can certainly shine a light on some real issues. As well as being dumb and funny with great actors of course.

The ‘Dreamland’ arc of Archer (FXX) is still going strong. It’s just a lot of fun to see these characters in this setting, and the storyline by itself has actually been rather arresting, with a lot of fun twists and turns. I’ve particularly liked Eugene Mirman’s performance as Cheryl’s brother. He’s delightfully creepy. Also, is Pam just a man in dreamland? Her character isn’t meant to be a woman in drag, here, she’s just a man? I kind of love that.

Oh, and I watched one more episode of Inside No. 9 (BBC Two), ‘Tom & Gerri’. It was very good, and actually managed to surprised me with the twist at the end. It was fun to see Lord Varys himself, Conleth Hill play an actually nice person, and Gemma Arterton was good too. That’s the strength of an anthology show, they can bring in really big names for just one episode.

Bridging the gap from comedy to drama is Better Call Saul (AMC) which is having an excellent third season, as it gets closer and closer to Breaking Bad territory. Not only has Gus finally appeared (with Giancarlo Esposito just as good as ever) but the whole tone of those scenes is straight out of the parent show. Episode 4, ‘Sabrosito’ barely seemed to feature Odenkirk at all. But that doesn’t mean that the series has just become Breaking Bad-lite, as the following episode ‘Chicanery’ was all courtroom stuff, and really did a fascinating job at delving into the central Jimmy/Chuck relationship. It really needs to be said again, but both Odenkirk and Michael McKean are amazing in this show, tour-de-force performances. This stretch of episodes has been a great microcosm of what makes Better Call Saul so good and basically the perfect prequel. It has plenty of links to what came before, including themes and cameos (Huell!) and camera work, but it’s also very capable of being it’s own, separate thing. So good.

The Season 2 finale of The Expanse (Sy Fy) was another strong episode in an exceptionally strong season. It was an incredibly tense episode that brought a lot of things to a head. The central plot of the Protomolecule monster being on the Rocinante tied everything together and, perhaps most importantly, brought the central crew of characters onto the same page. It’s interesting that the show isn’t precisely following a ‘1 season = 1 book’ model, and I like that, it’s allowing for things to unfold at a different pace.

The Americans (FX) is having an… interesting season. It’s still very good and all of the performances and episodes have been good, but, maybe it’s just me, but it doesn’t seem as focused as it used to, which is odd, because the writers know they only have this and next year to wrap things up. Maybe that’s actually the reason, they know they have a guaranteed 26 episodes, so can pace things differently? Either way, there doesn’t seem to be any particular driving plot, missions and side characters come and go, and whilst each individual hour has been strong, it’s not a satisfying whole. Yet. I think maybe something big is going to happen (Pacha’s suicide? Something with Pastor Tim?) that will lead to a major event in the finale. Or at least I hope so. This is a fantastic series so maybe I just have too high expectations.

Now it’s time for everybody’s favourite corner… superhero corner!

So far in iZombie (The CW) Season 3, the biggest pleasure for me has been the classic thing, seeing Rose McIver play Liv on various different types of brain. Hippie Yoga Liv, gossipy bitch Liv, Dominatrix Liv and Hot Mess Liv have all been hilarious. I really think McIver is underrated by how she manages to play so many different shades of the same person. Some of the individual cases of the week have been a bit weak, but her performance, along with the new development of Clive knowing she’s a Zombie have made it work. As for the over-arching plots, I liked the way the show revealed that Blaine had been faking his memory loss, and what that means for Major and Liv going forward. The Fillmore Graves plot has been on the back burner a bit, but you just know it’s going to explode later.

Gotham (FOX) has returned with some really great episodes and has become a show that really embraces it’s ridiculousness, and is all the better for it. Corey Michael Smith in full on Riddler mode, green suit and all, is so much fun, as is Penguin and Poison Ivy gathering an ‘Army Of Freaks’ and a goddamn clone of Bruce Wayne. I’m also really enjoying this take on the Court Of Owls, I’ve said this before, but I get an extra kick out of seeing more recent concepts like this used in other media, and so it’s awesome to see something Scott Snyder invented on TV. Gotham is dumb, but it’s the good dumb.

The Flash (The CW) revealed who Savitar was, and it was… actually satisfying. The fact that Barry (or at least a Time Remnant of him) becomes his own worst enemy is interesting, and it’s a perfect expression of the consequences of too much time-travel meddling. What I found cool was that the show followed this big, tragic reveal with a somewhat broad comedy episode where Barry lost his memories. Not only was this funny, but it showed why the show needs a bit more levity. When Barry gets too Emo, things get bad (as shown by the trip to the future, where Barry literally was Emo). I’m also really enjoying Anne Dudek’s guest role as Tracy Brand. Her chemistry with Tom Cavanaugh is a lot of fun. 2 episodes left, and I hope they continue to get the balance between drama and fun right. The Flash is one of those characters who needs to stay optimistic.

Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.LD. (ABC) has continued it’s hot-streak with more really fantastic episodes. This Hydra alternate reality arc really has been excellent. It’s allowed us to learn more about the characters, had a real impact, and also allowed the show to comment somewhat on real world political elements. It was cheap, but referring to Hydra’s ‘alternative facts’ and ‘fake news’ was great. The performances have also gone up a gear, Henry Simmons choosing to stay in the Framework was a great, although I do think that somehow they’ll use that machine to bring his daughter into the ‘real world’. Although they might be saving that for Face Turn Grant Ward. I also want to praise Iain De Caestecker, who has taken Fitz from somewhat of a comic relief character into probably the most complex person on the show. He played the ‘evil’ Fitz so well I almost feared he would still be bad once he was back. Mallory Jansen has also been very good, whether as Aida, Agnes or now Ophelia, she has played the same person in 3 very interesting ways. I can’t wait to see how this finale ends things, and to see what Season 4 brings. It feels weird to say this after the slow start, but Agents Of SHIELD is one of the better adventure shows on the air.

And finally, I finished watching Marvel’s Iron Fist (Netflix), and whilst it does have it’s share of problems and is probably the least of the ‘Defenders’ shows, I still very much enjoyed it and am excited to see more of this version of Danny Rand, particularly alongside Luke Cage. Heroes For Hire! I’m not going to re-tread the race conversation as we discussed that last time, so instead I’ll say that, as is customary, some of the episodes did drag a bit in the middle before an exciting ending, and I do think the show’s budget was a bit too low. I think that really hurt things as we never go to actually see K’un Lun or the Dragon Shou-Lou. I wanted a goddamn dragon getting it’s heart ripped out of it, is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. I also think it took way too long for Danny to realise that Howard Meachum was a bad dude, but that naïveté is intentional, and a great character bit. The performances only improved as it went on. Finn Jones is actually very convincing, and both Jessica Henwick and Tom Pelphrey were brilliant. I actually think Pelphrey’s Ward Meachum might be one of the best performances in the MCU, as he manages to make some pretty dumb plot developments work just through his performance. I did like how, by the end, things had been twisted and it was Ward who was working alongside Danny, and Joy who had become his enemy. That was unexpected and fun. Her working alongside Gao and Davos should be interesting in a second season. I did like Davos’ role later on too, Sacha Dhawan was very good, although why does someone from K’un Lun sound so Mancunian? I admit it, I am an MCU mark, but Iron Fist really isn’t that bad, if you give it a chance, it is well worth it, and can only improve. Look, it took Agents Of SHIELD 3 years to get good, I think sometimes we need to appreciate that.

Music

There’s only one album this time out, but it’s kind of a big deal, as Gorillaz are back with their first album in 7 years, Humanz (Parlophone/Warner Bros. 2017). Now the Gorillaz are pretty significant band for me, their eponymous debut was one of the first CDs I bought from myself and I must have played that and Demon Days hundreds of times. Plastic Beach had less of an impact, and I don’t think I’ve actually listened to The Fall. So I’m kind of a lapsed fan, however this particular hype train, and the idea that this was some kind of politically vital and contemporary record brought me back in, and I bought the album, hell, I got the deluxe edition! After listening to it a few times, it’s pretty good, but a lot of that hype is way over-blown. There’s nothing here that’s particularly timely, it’s just the usual Gorillaz mix of interesting backing beats, fantastic guest contributors and Damon Albarn getting to experiment. That’s not a bad thing, but I think I went into it expecting something truly game-changing. That’s probably more on me than Gorillaz though. As I said, the guest stars on here are fantastic, I particularly like Vince Staples on ‘Ascension’, Grace Jones on ‘Charger’ and Benjamin Clementine on ‘Hallelujah Money’, those are great tracks. It’s also a lot of fun to try and spot Noel Gallagher on ‘We Got The Power’. How crazy is it that Albarn and Gallagher are on the same song? Britpop Hell has frozen over. So yeah, this album is decent, but as is probably par for the course with Gorillaz, the ideas and concepts around it are more interesting. The idea of all of these artists reacting to Trump (or not Trump, an un-specified huge event) is great, but the end result isn’t that amazing. I say par for the course, because what’s always appealed most about Gorillaz isn’t just the music, but the whole package, the artwork from Jamie Hewlett, which is fantastic. I think I like the artwork in the leaflet more than the album! Gorillaz are a unique project, and I’ll always appreciate them, but I think I want more than just cool artwork and weird samples from my music at this stage.

Books

2 books this month. I think my reading pace has slowed down a bit, not sure why. Hmm, anyway, I started the month with the last 100 pages or so of Jonathan Wilson’s Angels With Dirty Faces (2016). The history of Argentinian Football got pretty much up to date, as Wilson gets up to the current era of Messi, Aguero, Tevez, Higuain etc. It was pretty much I thought it would be, as the Argentinian domestic game has been basically ruined by all of the best players moving to Europe. What I didn’t know was the state of hooliganism and fan violence in Argentina, which was surprising, and also the continued political links in the game. The fact that the Argentinian government owns the broadcasting rights to league football and uses it for propaganda purposes is very unique, and I would have liked more exploration of that. Imagine if Theresa May was on Match Of The Day or something, At least we know Corbyn is an Arsenal fan. Overall, the end of the book lived up to the rest of it, this was a very readable, informative history of a fascinating subject and culture. Argentina’s national identity is inextricably linked with it’s football, and now, I feel like i understand that country so much more.

After this, I got my fancy literature on, as I read the winner of the 2016 Man Booker Prize, The Sellout (2015) by Paul Beatty. Only this isn’t the kind of novel you’d really expect to win such a lofty, some would say wanky, prize. It’s an incredibly dark satire of American Race relations, and it’s actually very funny. The plot sees an unnamed African-American man (he’s only referred to as ‘Me’, which I think is his surname (So his name is like ‘Dave Me’ or ‘Tom Me’ or something) who somewhat accidentally brings back both segregation and slavery to the LA suburb he lives in. It’s an insane premise, but it works, and Beatty’s witty writing carries it through even the largest logic leaps. Much like with last month and ‘Get Out’, I don’t feel like I can fully parse a lot of the more caustic racial elements, being a white non-American, but it was shocking at times, and certainly made me look at certain things differently. I would be interested in reading some of Beatty’s other books, he has a unique sense of humour. I will say that I didn’t really laugh out loud at reading this, like many of the blurbs did, but then I’m struggling to think of many books that did make me LOL. I just don’t do it, even with comics. I think seeing something written down elicits a different reaction in me. More of a wry smile, or an ‘oh, that’s funny, I get that’ than actually laughing. The Sellout comes close though! Maybe literary prizes aren’t so bad…

Games

As mentioned in the intro, I’m still making my way rather slowly through The Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild (Nintendo Switch 2017). I need to carve more time out to play it, but video games, even ones as good as this, are still bottom of my entertainment list. I only really play it when I have nothing else to watch, read or listen to. As of now, I’ve finally got off the Great Plateau and am in the wider world of Hyrule, and man, it is intimidatingly big. That sense of freedom to do what you want can be both very freeing, but also kind of freezing. I can’t decide where to go, so in the end I don’t really go anywhere. Does that make sense? I’ve just been wandering around and not really advancing the plot. But still, this is an incredibly good game, the look of it is so beautiful, and it’s even more so after the Plateau. I think that is what’s holding me back from playing more, because it looks so good on the big TV, I’m not putting the Switch’s handheld mode to use to play when someone else is using it. The controls are just that level of intuitive that, for me, only Nintendo can reach. The Joycons on the Switch are bit flimsy, but after while, I’m used to it. I’m of two minds on what to do next video-game wise. I really want to pick up Mario Kart 8, especially because my girlfriend wants to do multiplayer, but can I justify it when I’ve barely scratched the surface of Zelda?

—

That’s it! Just an addendum for you, after writing that last bit about the Switch and whether I should by Mario Kart… I went and ordered it on Amazon. So expect something about that next week. I also bought La La Land, so you’ll get to read my lukewarm take on that film on or near June 15th. I’ll probably be lame and quite like it, that’s the kind of person I am, I can never bring myself to truly hate things like the rest of the internet. Anyway, I’ll see you then! Hopefully we’ll be living under a Labour Government by then.

1 note · View note

myaekingheart · 8 years ago

Text

Rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

I was tagged by @alittlenarnian! Thank youuu ^_^

I’m just gonna do everyone a favor here and put this all under the cut because I thought way too deeply into pretty much every single one of these questions and I’m not gonna subject everyone to scrolling past all my nonsense.

1. Coke or Pepsi: I don't know, probably coke? I don't drink a lot of soda but I've always been a big fan of orange soda, myself. Or that one kind in the Coke place in Epcot c:

2. Disney or Dreamworks: I love both but I'm gonna have to go with Disney. It's had more influence over me, and I feel like most of the movies have way more than heart than a lot of what Dreamworks puts out (aside from HTTYD and Rise of the Guardians and the original 2D stuff like Spirit).

3. Coffee or Tea: Tea. Coffee makes me sick.

4. Books or Movies: This is hard because I love both so much but I'm gonna have to go with books. I love the visual beauty of movies but on the other hand, nothing compares to the feeling of pages between your fingers and that high you get from looking at words when you read a book, and the way you can imagine everything exactly as you want and no two personal renderings are ever exactly the same. That's cool. I like that.

5. Windows or Mac: Windows.

6. DC or Marvel: I've never been huge into the superhero scene but I'm gonna have to go with Marvel (though if it was a choice, I'd definitely pick The Incredibles universe).

7. X-Box or Playstation: Tough call but I'm gonna have to go with X-Box.

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Dragon Age.

9. Night Owl or Early Riser: DEFINITELY night owl. I can't get up early for the life of me and when I do, I'm in a constant fog.

10. Cards or Chess: Cards because they're more flexible. You can play tons of different games with cards-- Go Fish, Solitaire, Old Maid, Blackjack. Chess is just chess. It's not as portable as a deck of cards, either.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.

12. Vans or Converse: Converse.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: No idea what any of that is tbqh

14. Fluff or Angst: Little bit of both never hurt anyone. All about balance, amirite?

15. Beach or Forest: Tough call but I kind of have to go with forest, actually??? Like don't get me wrong I adore the beach, it's gorgeous as all hell, but at the same time, it's like every time I go to the beach it's always super windy and crowded and you're either freezing cold or scorching hot and then you get sand in weird places. I kind of like the close-knit spaces of the forest and how close to nature I feel when I'm there, like on nature trails and stuff. I like all the trees looming over me-- they make me feel safe-- and the different flowers and creatures all around and all the different pathways you can take. It always feels like an adventure.

16. Dogs or cats: I love both but I lean a little bit more towards dogs just because I've grown up with them all my life. I like how you can rough-house with dogs (big dogs, anyways) and they'll just flop over and love on you. Cats never liked me but now that I've spent more time around them, they've really started growing on me more.

17. Clear skies or rain: Rain. Definitely rain. Nothing makes me happier than those days when you can just curl up on the couch in your pajamas with a bowl of soup and a movie marathon and the sky is all dark and there's a steady rain beating on the roof, maybe a little thunder and lightning, and you just snuggle close on the couch in a giant blanket and just ugh it's the absolute best and I adore it.

18. Cooking or eating out: I can't really cook for the life of me but if I had to choose, I'd pick cooking over eating out just because making food is better than putting on pants to go out someplace and eat. I don't always feel comfortable eating out anyways, for whatever reason. And at least when you (attempt) to cook something, not only do you get food but you also feel the accomplishment of having made something that tastes good (hopefully) and has a purpose.

19. Spicy food or mild food: I never used to be like this but spicy food has grown on me so I'm gonna pick that. I can only handle so much kick but I definitely enjoy how flavorful spicy food is over blander stuff.

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: UGH THIS IS SO HARD BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO WITH CHRISTMAS. I adore Halloween just because it gives me an excuse to dress up where I'm not considered a geek, but then again I dress up year-round and kind of stopped giving a fuck what people think about it. Christmas is great, though. You get good food and lots of presents and can spend time with people you love and there's lights and happiness everywhere and great excuses to snuggle up on the couch with bae. Fills me so much warmth <3

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: A little too cold because at least that way I could always put on cozy socks or snuggle up in a blanket. If I'm too hot, there's only so much I can do and a finite number of clothes I can shed before I'm passed out on the tile ass naked with the refrigerator open.

22. If you could have any superpower, what would it be: Invisibility. I answered that really, really quickly but hey, it's not a sin to know what you want. So yes. Either invisibility or forcefields. Or both. Both is good. Invisibility would be great so I could sneak around or bypass awkward confrontations but at the same time, I'm very much a wallflower so it's kind of like I'm invisible already. Forcefields, on the other hand, could be really beneficial because I like my personal space and if anyone's coming too close, I can just be like *boop* nope-ity nope nope. I think the biggest benefit from forcefields, though, would be blocking myself from the wind. There is nothing I hate more than wind and if I could find any way to barricade myself from it so it wouldn't have to inconvenience me from doing what I need to do, that would be stupendous.

23. Animation or live action: Ugh this is a hard one and I don't know if I have a really definite answer for this one. It honestly just depends. Animation is a beautiful medium that I adore but some things are far more suited for live action. I guess if I had to choose, though, I'd go with animation since I feel like live action, at least in big budget fantasy, adventure, sci-fi, and action movies, are all animated to a degree anyways (I seriously miss the days when special effects makeup was still a big thing instead of the way everything's been these days, where everything is just computer generated. Not that CG isn't beautiful but I just miss the tangibility of special effects and prefer it over the painterly and sweeping CGI, though I mean there is a time and a place for both I suppose).

24. Paragon or Renegade: Again, no idea what that is.

25. Baths or showers: Showers. I'm too antsy to take baths anymore. Plus you can't take books in there unless you're deliberately trying to ruin them.

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Team Cap.

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Fantasy

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they: "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not" - Kurt Cobain (This was actually my senior quote in high school, too :D) "It'll all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end" (I honestly which I had a credit for this) "You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" -AA Milne "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" -AA Milne (again) Basically all of AA Milne's quotes, even if I haven't heard them yet, I instantly love, okay?

29. Netflix or youtube: Tough call but youtube mainly because I don't have Netflix and youtube does not cost me money. Sure, you can't get full episodes most of the time but oh well.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: I've honestly never really been into either? My GSP class did a Greek mythology unit and we had to read The Lightning Thief and I just could not get into it whatsoever. If I had to choose, I guess I'd say Harry Potter solely because even though the Harry Potter series itself never really interested me all that much (I've only read and seen the first three but I could never get past the puke scene in the second one without nearly vomiting myself), I have to admit that Fantastic Beasts looks incredible and really captured my interest.

31. When you feel accomplished: When I get shit done, pretty much. I procrastine a lot but when I finally crack down on myself and make myself write that paper or that next chapter or get those supplies for that one cosplay or anything like that, I instantly feel prouder of myself for actually doing things rather than dreaming of them.

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Again, I never really got into either but I'd have to go with Star Wars just because I know more about it and because Harrison Ford reminds me of my dad and that makes me happy.

33. Paperback or Hardback: Hardback. Paperbacks are great and all but there's something special about hardback books. They feel classic.

34. Horror or rom-com: Rom-com. Horror is good in small doses but gooey, sticky-sweet rom-com is like those strawberry candies you find at your grandma's house that you could always stand to have more of.

35. TV shows or movies: Ugh that's a tough call, too. On one hand, a lot of time and effort goes into movies but then TV shows are a little more digestible sometimes just because they're shorter increments but you get more out of it because it spans a much longer period of time and you can really expand on a story more in a show than you can in a two hour film. So I guess maybe both??? Can I do that? Can I pick both? Because I know if I try to bargain with myself to make a dead-set decision here, we're gonna be sitting here all night watching me go back and forth about this.

36. Spotify or Pandora: I don't use either so I don't really have a preference. I just like using the music I've downloaded onto my phone.

37. Zootopia or Inside Out: Zootopia because police.

38. Favourite book: The Chronicles of Narnia books by CS Lewis, hands down. I've read a lot of great books but no matter what, I always find myself coming back to Narnia. It's like a permanent part of my soul that just breaks down the door whenever I forget about it and forces itself back into my life.

39. Favourite flower: I really love red roses because they're just so romantic and red is my favorite color.

40. What field of study are you in (or aspire to be in): I'm working towards getting a bachelor's in creative writing so I guess you could say my field of study is English? I wanna write shit.

41. Song lyric you really love: Oh god, I have a lot but okay, here goes. "I am a princess on the way to my throne destined to reign, destined to rule"- Can't Take It In by Imogen Heap (off the LWW soundtrack) "If you wanna break these walls down, you're gonna get bruised"- Castle by Halsey "If your stomach feels weak, then my work here is done" The Words Best Friend Become Redefined by Chiodos "Another cog in the murder machine"- Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

42. What’s your MBTI type: ISFP

43. What is your zodiac sign: Taurus

44. Where is your favourite place to go: My boyfriend's place because anywhere where he is is home and I love spending time with him no matter where we are or what we're doing.

45. Favourite stuffed animal as a kid: Okay, so this doesn't really constitute as a "stuffed animal", so to speak, but when I was a kid, I was incredibly attached to this baby doll my mom's mom had bought for me when I was born. I named her Baby Doll (real creative, I know) and took her everywhere with me, and slept with her every night for way longer than I'd like to admit. I loved her to pieces and still do, actually, but in a different way now than I did back then. When I was little, I was in love with her the same way I imagine a mother loves her child because to me, she was like my kid. Nowadays it's more like I love her because of all the joy she brought me as a kid and all the memories I made with her. I actually still have her and she hasn't fallen apart (completely) yet. Her painted facial features on her plastic head have started to fade a little bit and her the stuffing in her plushie body has already gone kind of limp and flat and her little outfit has turned gray (I think I tried burying her in the backyard once and she never recovered??? I accidentally dropped her in a river over the edge of a boat once, too. The kid's been through some shit, alright?) but I still look at her and see the same doll I was so grossly in love with and attached to when I was a little girl and I love that a lot.

46. Favourite icecream flavour: It's a toss-up between mint chocolate chip, which was my first ever favorite ice cream flavor, and chocolate chip cookie dough. Neopolitan is pretty great, too, for when I want the classics but can't decide on just one.

47. Chanel or Gucci: I could honestly care less about either but if I had to choose, Chanel just because Coco Chanel was pretty cool.

48. What’s your hogwarts house: Hufflepuff

49. Who’s your celebrity crush: Oh damn, here we go. Here's opening a can of worms you don't want to get me started on. I have a couple but the biggest and longest running is without a doubt William Moseley and there's a long and funny story behind this. Okay, so when I was in second grade, we read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe as a class and did project assignments on it and shit (one of which I distinctly remember was that we had to draw a scene from the book so I chose the White Witch on her sleigh but for some reason the word "sledge" made me instantly think of "ledge" so it was basically a really shitty drawing of the White Witch flying through the sky on one of those construction beams??? It was really freaking weird, man). We watched the BBC version in class and I remember as the credits were rolling, my teacher shut off the TV screen and announced to us that Disney was releasing it's own version of the movie that Christmas so when the time came around, I had my mom go take me to see it because I liked the book enough to buy an entire boxed set at the next book fair and have always been a Disney freak so I was like "Let's fucking do it." So we went to the theater and I was having a good time enjoying myself and whatnot and then the battle scene came and I was honestly so thrown for a loop. Here I was, little eight year old me, terrified of how intense it was. I was shaking and horrified and I dragged my mom out of the theater. It was awful. I almost didn't go back to see it again but I felt unsatisfied having not seen the rest of the movie so I had her take me back, determined to sit through the entire thing this time. I still ended up covering my face during the battle scenes but when I finally did peek through my fingers, there on the huge silver screen was none other than Peter freaking Pevensie slaying a bunch of poor unfortunate souls and looking like a sexy mofo in the process. Instant heart eyes. And so the madness began. I kept it a secret for a little while before one day, my parents and I were at one of the Disney resorts (it was either the Beach Club or the Boardwalk Hotel, I don't remember which-- it was whichever one that has Cape May Cafe because I think we ate in there for dinner or something). At the front desk, they had those Disney Adventures mini magazines and so I got a free one and guess who was on the cover for that month? William freaking Moseley. There was an interview on the inside, too, that I thought must've been fate because it was smack dab in the middle and there was a cardstock ad right between the two pages so you could easily flip to the thing. The whole thing about my crush got out among my friends at school pretty quickly (when I told them, for a second they thought I had a crush on a kid in one of the other classes named Peter) and the Narnia thing just kind of took off. It waxed and waned over the years but the biggest comeback wasn't until eighth grade. I was on Thanksgiving break and my parents were flipping through the channels when they found Prince Caspian on TV. By then, I had kind of forgotten about Narnia and was like "Oh yeah, I remember this movie! I loved these movies!" and so I sat down and watched the rest of it and that's when everything came flooding back. I spiraled into a pit of insanity and quickly gained a reputation as "that Narnia girl." My freshman year binder was a Narnia shrine with William Moseley pictures pasted all over it. I followed him on social media (which wasn't as big a thing before) and dreamed about him constantly and thought any and all little coincidences were proof that we were meant to be together (even if he is ten years older than me). But I mean, I was a kid. What the hell do I know? Things actually ended up getting a little too far, though. When I found out William Moseley had started dating his Run costar Kelsey Chow, I was 110% heartbroken. Like, I was watching Prince Caspian the one night and just broke down in hysterical tears during the end credits because oh my god we would never be together now and I was so jealous that she was dating him and not me. It was honestly probably getting a little unhealthy so that's when I decided to end the entire Narnia thing once and for all because I had spiraled far too deep and needed to separate myself from the concept. I took a few long years away from the thing before cautiously getting sucked back in about a year and a half ago, I guess it was. I didn't want to get back into Narnia, initially, because I knew that would mean reacquainting myself with the whole William Moseley thing and I didn't want to spiral back into that pit again. I felt like a recovering alcoholic getting invited to a bar. I wanted to go, but I didn't want to relapse. I guess in a way I sort of did for a short period of time there? This time I was more cautious to separate the character from the actor, though, and so far it's been doing pretty well. The only time I almost slipped was when I was this close to being an extra in The Little Mermaid and meeting him, but it didn't work out because school got in the way of my traveling to Savannah for the filming. My heart still hurts a little bit seeing that carnival scene and knowing I could've been one of the faces in that crowd. But anyways, yeah. I think it's safe to say William Moseley was definitely my biggest and probably my most detrimental celebrity crush??? It's all water under the bridge now, pretty much. I still have the Narnia fanfics but I'm not as overwhelmingly gaga for him as I once was now that I have my own boyfriend and life is great. I realize now that this explanation was probably way longer than it needed to be but oh well. Whatever. It was worth typing all out.

50. The Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings: The Chronicles of Narnia. Lord of the Rings is good and all but I kept zoning out during the movies and never dared to read the books (TOLKIEN, YOU SPEND LIKE FIFTEEN PAGES DESCRIBING ONE TREE. COOL IT, BRO). I think the above explanation shows how pretty obvious the Narnia bias is here, though.

51. In the car, radio or phone playlist: Phone. I never get the aux cord but when I do, it's a lot of alternative rock. I have lots of playlists for different moods or themes, though, like one of all songs that remind me of my boyfriend in some way, calming songs, "fuck yes" songs that make me wanna headbang and break a window, shit like that. Plus, phone playlists are portable so that's nice.

52. Favorite Disney Princess? Rapunzel! She was the first princess I really felt a strong connection to and I honestly wish I would've had her in my life as a little girl. I will forever be a massive Tangled nut, though, and literally nothing feels better than being able to run around dressed as my favorite princess and living out my dreams. I feel so free and overwhelmingly happy when I cosplay Rapunzel. She's like my happy place and a lot of the time, I find myself having to pry myself away from her sometimes so I can give attention to my other cosplays. Like a super strong magnet, though, I always gravitate straight back to Rapunzel. I will never not love my beautiful little sunshine princess <3 <3 <3

Tagging: no one because this was way too long and I sure as hell am not tagging 52 people. Do it if you want to but I'm not recruiting half a hundred people to fill out these questions that I thought way too much about.

#ask memes #ramblings

1 note · View note

moviemagistrate · 8 years ago

Text

2016 Movie Year in Review

All the 2016 movies I saw, ranked from worst to best, with superlatives in the end.

Notes:

1. I apologize for some of these reviews being half-assed. I went a bit overboard with this and at a certain point just wanted to be done.

2. Thank you for reading this. Even if you don’t read it all, just pretend that you did and tell me how great I am. I love validation.

3. If you disagree with any of my reviews, please tell me, so I can explain precisely why your taste is shit. I also welcome regular discussion.

91. Diablo – In what was a recurring theme in 2016, I saw this under-the-radar Western despite its’ shitty reviews. I was never one to let critics influence my own opinion on something, and I figured that Scott (son of Clint) Eastwood’s Western debut with a supporting performance from personal-fave Walton Goggins couldn’t be that bad. Well, if it’s completely forgotten about and accomplishes nothing else (it already has been and it doesn’t), “Diablo” shows that even the majority of people can sometimes be totally, totally right.

This film is about a young Civil War veteran whose sexy wife gets kidnapped and he goes out on a journey to rescue her. Along the way, we start to realize that the motivations in the kidnapping and the rescue aren’t so simple, etc. The premise is decent and it starts out well (with one hell of an entrance for Eastwood’s character) but the longer the movie goes on, the exponentially faster it falls apart.

This is one of the most poorly-made and ineptly-written actual movies I’ve ever seen. It’s kind of like an Ed Wood flick minus the schlocky charm. None of the characters in this movie act or talk like actual human beings. It’d be surreal if it felt intentional. I’ve written better screenplays on toilet paper, and I don’t mean with a pen. The dialogue is awful and often goes nowhere, the direction is confusing, guns are shot with zero recoil (a personal trigger for me, no pun intended), the acting (even from good actors like Goggins and Danny Glover) sucks, the plot twist is retarded and obvious from a minute into the movie, and I’m willing to bet that even the catering for this film wasn’t that great either.

If Scott Eastwood wants a future in Westerns (or movies in general), I would ask/bribe/intimidate everyone who saw this film to sign a non-disclosure agreement, which shouldn’t be hard since so few people saw it. “Diablo” has nice intentions, but intentions will only get you so far when everyone involved in the creative process is so inept at their job that they make Sony/Warner Bros. executives look almost competent. It’s would all be hilarious if it wasn’t so damn dull. It feels a bit mean giving my bottom spot to a tiny, independent movie with almost no release when there’s plenty of studio-produced garbage to choose from (more on that shortly), but trust me, even in a shitty year for film like 2016, “Diablo” deserves it.

Nice cinematography, though.

90. Suicide Squad – I’m probably going to spoil parts of the movie here. I also probably won’t proofread this review after I finish writing it. I don’t care, honestly, because just thinking about the aptly-named “Suicide Squad” makes me lose the will to live.

I went into this film expecting it to be garbage even before the negative reviews started pouring in. When I heard that Warner Bros. were planning massive reshoots and rewrites to “make the movie more light-hearted”, a million red flags went up for me. It’s one thing to add in a few additional shots or lines, but WB wanted to fundamentally alter the film’s DNA, while still retaining much of the original footage. The result isn’t so much a new film but rather two films horrifically Frankensteined together, not unlike last year’s “Fantastic Four” (how’s that for a comparison?) The first half is atrocious. It’s just a series of introductions to the main cast that all feel like badly-edited music videos. EVERY. GODDMAN. SCENE in the first half of the movie has some really out-of-place popular song that is not only groan-inducing but also doesn’t fit the tone of the scene in most cases. Slipknot doesn’t even get one of these introductions (not that it matters much since he’s killed off about 10 minutes after we first meet him). His intro amounts to another character saying the funniest line of the movie; “That’s Slipknot. He can climb ANYTHING.” Whoa, watch out for this bad motherfucker.

I don’t know how much of this you can blame on the reshoots, but the plot is fundamentally retarded, as well. Putting aside the basic idea that the contingency plan for a rogue god-like superhero is just a small team of criminals with guns and melee weapons, only two of whom have actual powers, the story progression beats are just plain dumb. The main villain is an all-powerful witch that was supposed to be on the squad but escapes because the government was very lenient in looking after her. Upon being rescued, Viola Davis’ government higher-up kills her subordinates because they “didn’t have clearance” or something like that, even though it was literally their job to help her run everything. At one point, the Joker shows up, takes Harley Quinn away from the squad, only to crash and die (but not really), and she just returns a minute later. In wanting to show his trust, the soldier in charge of the Squad smashes his explosion-app phone, and allows them to leave if they want to. In the ONLY genuinely funny moment in the movie, comic relief character Captain Boomerang wordlessly gets up and leaves. In a move I will never forgive Warner Bros. for, he just returns unceremoniously a minute later (there might be a boomerang joke there, but that’s giving the script too much credit). During the climax, the Squad has a fight with the witch, during which no one even gets hurt so it feels pretty pointless, before she says to stop and tries to coax them into joining her by making them envision and promising them their greatest desires (once again wasting the character’s potential, Captain Boomerang’s is never shown).

The characters might have been the saving grace, but they are all handled incredibly poorly. Despite being “bad guys” (which they verbally remind each other and the audience throughout), they are more like quirky Guardians of the Galaxy-esque heroes, spouting quips and doing the right thing even when it’s against their supposed nature. El Diablo makes sense, as he’s trying to repent for his sins, but why do the rest of them have morals? Why, during Diablo’s story about how he accidentally killed his family, does Harley Quinn un-ironically give him a “how could you do such a monstrous thing?” reaction. What little character development any of them have feels rushed and/or forced, where by the end they are willing to sacrifice themselves for each other and calling themselves a “family” despite having only met a few hours earlier and only exchanged a few quips here and there. Where they could have made genuinely interesting characters by making the main-characters actual villainous anti-heroes who act against the government even while working for them, Warner Bros. just made them typical Marvel heroes, spouting typical Marvel quips while killing typical Marvel cannon-fodder enemies and trying to close a typical Marvel sky portal that can destroy the world or whatever it was supposed to do, except doing it all worse. It doesn’t help that Captain Boomerang, Killer Croc, Katana, and even Joker are all useless and have literally no practical purpose for being in the plot.

How do you fuck up a movie so badly that even Will Smith can’t save it? Smith is one of the few good things about this movie, basically playing his typical leading-man Will Smith persona but he’s so charismatic and likable that you can’t help but feel bad for him for being in this dreck. The rest of the cast is a mixed bag. Margot Robbie has the potential to play a good Harley Quinn, but none of her jokes work (a combination of her delivery and the awful script) and as mentioned before, she’s written to be way too sympathetic. Jai Courtney (Boomerang) had the career-first potential to be good here, but is barely used and what little comic relief he provides is squandered. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (who I was actually looking forward to in this movie) has only like 6 lines as Killer Croc underneath all that makeup, and all of them make him sound like a black stereotype; as a favor for accomplishing the mission at the end, he asks for BET in his cell, which is a step above asking for fried chicken and grape-drank, so at least there’s that. The guy playing El Diablo is alright. The actors playing Col. Flagg and Katana are forgettable. Oscar-nominee Viola Davis is actually pretty bad as the government head of the squad, looking bored throughout and giving stilted line-deliveries while failing to be intimidating. Cara Delevingne (in her witch form) looks and talks like a particularly poorly-written Game of Thrones character, and is probably the least intimidating villain I’ve ever seen in a comic book movie. Ben Affleck is in the movie for like, a minute. That’s all there is to him.

And how can I forget Jared Leto’s performance as Joker? No seriously, how? Please tell me. He decided that playing the most famous bad guy in comic history would be to act like a Tourette-afflicted edgy teenager who rebels against his upper-class parents by shopping at Hot Topic. At least he was entertainingly cringe-worthy, unlike most of the movie, which is just the regular kind. Who knows, maybe in all that cut footage of him lies a good performance or character arc, but he seems less like a demented criminal mastermind and more like the type of person who would giggle maniacally to himself after tearing the tag off of his mattress. Also, if there’s a word for the introduction version of an anti-climax, Joker’s first appearance in the film is exactly that.

In summary, the acting ranges from decent to bad, the characters are weak, the writing is abysmal, the plot is nonsensical, the tone is all over the place, the music choices are head-drillingly irritating, the action scenes are dull to the point where I zoned out quite a bit during them, and all-in-all a movie that should’ve been stylish and cool is just drab and embarrassing. I know that director David Ayer is better than this (and that he didn’t even have any say in the final edit) and I’m sure there’s a decent cut of this film somewhere, so instead of blaming him I’m going to blame Warner Bros., a studio that gives Sony Pictures a run for their money in terms of sheer incompetency. They’re in such a hurry to catch up to Marvel that they forgot to properly set up their universe and don’t even have a clear vision for what they want to accomplish, story-wise. Say what you will about the MCU and how formulaic a lot of their movies are, but at least Kevin Feige has a vision for his series and makes it work. WB saw the less-than-ideal performance of “Batman v Superman”, panicked, and butchered Ayer’s film to try and make it appeal to as many people as possible, ultimately appealing to no one.

Hell, give Zack Snyder the reigns to the DCEU. He’s not without his flaws, but he’s the closest thing to an auteur working in superhero films today and he’s infinitely more competent in telling a story than the hacks who edited the “Suicide Squad” I saw in theaters. Who is the real Suicide Squad? Is it the team of “bad guys” in the movie? Or is it the audience who is forced to endure this piece of shit? If there is justice, it will be the executives at Warner Bros. who should be forced by shareholders to commit ritualistic suicide live on The CW following “Arrow”

Or just punched in the stomach.

89. Ghostbusters – A “Ghostbusters” reboot is the most politically divisive film of 2016. It’s things like this that make me wonder if we’ve lost our way as a culture. Why people got so up in arms over the casting is beyond me. Personally, I think that anyone who condemns or praises a film solely because of the sex of its leads should be sterilized. But for months ahead of release, I saw almost nonstop articles, Tweets, and arguments about “misogyny” and “the patriarchy” and “raped childhoods” in regards to a silly comedy about people who hunt ghosts, and I started to wonder if it was actually a bad thing that the Chinese will soon take over the West (not that the Chinese would ever allow this film to be released, because Commies are afraid of ghosts or something like that).

It should come as no surprise to anyone with the slightest bit of rationality and foresight, however, that all this controversy would amount to nothing because the film is just a dull, unimaginative slog. I was expecting the movie to be shit because writer/director Paul Feig is a hack who never should have moved past television comedies, and Sony Pictures is a major movie studio run by a bunch of chimps with Down’s Syndrome, and apparently I’m better at pattern recognition than most. But honestly, I can’t even get worked up about “Ghostbusters” because it was just so boring. It never reached the point of being offensively bad like “Suicide Squad”, but this movie doesn’t really have anything going for it either. The lead actresses are fine, and could do well if they had some decent material to work with, but they aren’t funny enough to carry a very improv-heavy feature length film by themselves. A good improvised bit can be like a nice sprinkling of cinnamon on a tasty dessert, but “Ghostbusters” felt like eating several spoonfuls of cinnamon straight from the container. This felt like a modern-day SNL sketch arduously stretched out to two hours.

The improv could have worked if the leads had actual characters to work with, but each one is given just one personality trait (Leslie Jones is scared, Kate McKinnon is koooooky, Kristen Wiig is insecure, and Melissa McCarthy is…there), and they often break their trait for their banter where they constantly try to say funny things and tell jokes, making them feel like a bad college comedy-troupe instead of actual characters. Paul Feig didn’t even bother with any character development; just one forced scene where the animosity between Wiig and McCarthy’s characters, that’s forgotten within 15 minutes, is finally brought up again in the last 5. After a point, I started to feel bad for the cast. I know that McKinnon, Wiig, and McCarthy can do better than this (and have), and even Leslie Jones (who was the worst part of the trailer but is surprisingly the only likable and believable character in the film) deserves more than what she’s given. The only somewhat funny character was the mayoral aide who privately supports the team while publically insulting and condemning them.

As with Paul Feig’s other films, the plot is thin as can be (four women team up to investigate ghosts, start their own business, and before you know it, all hell breaks loose), and it feels very disjointed, with a lot of scenes feeling like they could be put in different orders and it wouldn’t make a difference. As a result, the film fails to properly ramp up in terms of stakes and motivations. There are set-ups without payoffs, and payoffs to things that were never really set up. And of course Feig can’t shoot action or comedy for shit, to the point where even a gifted physical comic like McCarthy looks like she’s lightly swinging at air in her fight scenes. He also clearly misses the R-rating he’s had so far in his feature films, where the lack of jokes is exacerbated without the crutch of swearing to lean on. Plus, as typical of a Sony Pictures movie, there’s enough forced product placement on display to make Michael Bay blush.

The lowest points of the film are the cutesy references to the original film and cameos from the original cast, with the absolute nadir being a scene with a Bill Murray who looks like he’s wondering if it’d be faster to run away from the film set (that he was sued into being on) or to slit his own throat. This just points to a studio product that plays it so safe and close to the original that it doesn’t have any identity of its own, and funnily enough, the gender-swapping of the lead roles is the only decent idea it has to differentiate itself.

As I said before, this wasn’t terrible or painful to watch (possible because I was already detached very early in the movie, but still). I got two chuckles, one from Jones and one from Chris Hemsworth, and a handful of snorts here and there. The CGI, sets, and prop-design are all colorful and surprisingly solid. But the overall movie is just mediocre and a chore to sit through. I normally don’t write lengthy reviews for comedies because there are only so many ways to say something isn’t funny, but the 2016 “Ghostbusters” just isn’t funny, and all the controversy that was brewed up (it wouldn’t surprise me if Sony manufactured the hateful reactions to the trailers themselves to drum up publicity) ultimately led to another one of the same bland, cash-grab remakes that Hollywood has been pumping out for the last several years. Now I may be a sexist, chauvinistic white cis-het misogynist shitlord, but I think the movie-going public deserves better than this, even those dumb bitc…[REDACTED]

88. The Neon Demon - A 16-year-old girl moves to LA to become a model, and finds quick success due to her good looks (and we know she looks good because none of the other characters, including her, ever stop mentioning it), but soon after finds herself succumbing to her own hubris and the jealousy of those around her. That’s literally the entire plot of the movie, minus some of the dirty specifics. Then again, you don’t see a Nicholas Winding Refn for the plot. As can be expected from any of his post-Drive films, characters speak very obvious dialogue with remarkably long pauses, they stare off into the distance a lot (even when just looking into a mirror), jarring ultraviolence occurs, and pretty red-and-blue lighting abounds.

I found NWR’s particular brand of violent, brightly colored autism amusing up to a point, but after a while, it became increasingly grating. Part of that is that the movie as a whole just feels kind of pointless. Thematically it’s quite obvious; the modeling world exploits young women, and said women are also jealous, catty bitches (at least, that’s the impression I got from Refn). But why the fuck is this movie two hours long? So much of the film is just NWR indulging in all of his trademark filming techniques at the expense of making interesting characters. Yes, there are plenty of striking visuals with their fair share of obvious symbolism, but that’s pretty much all there is to it. Much of the movie is filmed like a modeling session or a runway show (which is probably intentional), but there comes a point where you just want to shout “YES, I GET THE GODDAMN POINT, ALREADY.” After about an hour in, I just wanted it to end and couldn’t really care about what happened next. In what seemed like an attempt to rope me back in, the last 40 minutes or so is when the twisted and violent stuff starts happening, but I was less shocked and more annoyed and disgusted by what I was seeing.

The cast is alright, I suppose. The performances from Bella Heathcote and Abbey Lee as the two models that become jealous of the main character are fun and biting. Keanu Reeves is surprisingly entertaining as a sleazy motel manager. As much as I hated that one particular scene with Jena Malone (you’ll know it when it happens), I commend her for being so committed to her performance to actually pull that scene off. Everyone else kind of just occupies that NWR character spectrum that exists somewhere between ethereal and autistic (leaning much closer to the latter in this film).

I hate it when people say the stuff I dislike about a movie is done intentionally. Was my boredom intentional? If, however, the prospect of having Nicholas Winding Refn slowly jerking himself off in your face for two hours while maintaining unblinking eye contact with synth music playing in the background sounds like your cup of tea, then “The Neon Demon” will satisfy your unusually specific fetish, you weirdo.

87. Triple 9 – Have you ever seen an urban police drama? Congrats, you’ve already seen “Triple 9”. Basically, there is a squad of crooked Atlanta cops who plan to rob a government building with some criminals in order to appease a mob wife (hammed-up by Kate Winslet in what could possibly be her first bad performance), and they aim to simultaneously stage the murder of a fellow cop across town so there would be little resistance during their robbery. There are ride-alongs, roughing up of suspects, lots of swearing, drug use, betrayals, etc. Pretty much every “gritty” urban crime movie cliché since the ‘90s is in this film, and very little of it is interesting. The movie only really comes alive during its action sequences. The opening bank robbery and mid-film raid especially are expertly crafted and are genuinely exciting. However, they (and a wonderful little cameo from Michael K. Williams) are the film’s only highlights, and the only other thing “Triple 9” is noteworthy for is having such a talented cast and wasting them on such been-there-done-that material. It’s not an ordeal to get through; it holds your attention and it’s thankfully not as edgy as I feared, but between the dull plot, lame dialogue, and unlikable, two-dimensional characters, “Triple 9” is more of a Single 5 (out of 10).

86. The Invitation – A man named Will, who looks like a cross between Jesus and Tom Hardy, brings his new girlfriend to a dinner party set up by his long-estranged ex-wife and her new husband. Things start to get weird when they begin talking a lot about a spirituality group they’re a part of, and Will’s paranoia over their strange behavior is made worse when all of his friends seem to accept it with no problem. I went into watching this movie with little to no expectations, and those expectations were steadily raised by the performances and direction, and it all got pissed away at the end. For a while, it seemed like a really good drama with a genuinely interesting exploration of grief, but without spoiling anything, in the third act it became the EXACT movie I was really hoping it wouldn’t become. I’m sure most people won’t have the problem with this movie that I did, and the good actors and Karyn Kusama’s strong directing (she expertly builds tension and creates a great sense of space) keep it going for the most part, even despite how dumb and illogical a lot of the characters are. But I was just so disappointed by the schlock it became that it just left a bad taste in my mouth. Accept this “Invitation” if you want, but I’m staying home instead.

85. Swiss Army Man – Look, I give it points for originality, but this was never going to be my kind of movie. It’s the kind of premise and cast (Paul Dano uses Daniel Radcliffe’s magical farting corpse to get back to civilization while learning about life) that seemed destined to be “baby’s first high-concept indie film”. I saw it because I wanted to give it a chance anyway, and while it’s not without its merits (a good deal of creativity, two committed performances, and plenty of visual flair), the endless grossout humor, montages, and really ham-fisted explanation of themes and character development wore me down to the point where I just didn’t care by the end. I would have liked for the movie to have a more straight-faced approach to the situation, which I think would have underlined the absurd humor present. Instead, we have the kind of ironic whimsy one would get if they saw a bunch of Spike Jonze and Michel Gondry films and completely missed the point. I also would have liked a darker and more realistic ending, one that would actually feel like a culmination of the themes of loneliness and isolation the movie wouldn’t shut the fuck up about. As you might have guessed, the tone is all over the place, too.

If you like this movie, that’s fine. But “Swiss Army Man” is certainly not 2deep4me, and if there is any point I missed in watching it, I don’t care enough to re-watch it. Someone told me that a lot the things I found annoying about this film are intentional. Well, intentionally annoying is still. Fucking. Annoying.

84. Elvis & Nixon – The premise for this movie is really neat. On a December morning in 1970, Elvis Presley strolls up to the White House to request an emergency meeting with Richard Nixon and convince the President to swear him in as an undercover agent, leading to one of the most famous photos in U.S. history. The execution: not so great. The main problem is that the actual meeting is only the last 15-or-so minutes of the movie. The lead-up involves Elvis and his manager’s efforts to actually set up the meeting with Nixon’s staff, while Nixon is hesitant about allowing it. There is way too much stuff about the manager and his family, and Nixon’s staff. It’s not a lot of screentime, but it’s stuff/people you don’t care about in the slightest and is too much by definition (no offense to Colin Hanks, but he should really stick to TV). A lot of this stuff could have been replaced by more Elvis/Nixon, or just cut out entirely, since even at 87 minutes, the film’s length is stretched out.

Luckily, the movie is saved by the outstanding talents playing the titular characters. Michael Shannon as the King and Kevin Spacey as Tricky Dick are so good that they go beyond mere caricatures and actually feel like they embody the historical figures, even if the material is rather light. Much of the movie’s focus is on Shannon’s Elvis, and he easily holds the film together, even though you wish there was more of Nixon. The meeting between the two is of course the highlight of the movie, a wonderful stranger-than-fiction moment of history that would have made a pretty good short film. Here’s hoping for an exploitation-style sequel where they team up to fight evil drug fiends, because they deserve a movie as fun and unique as they are.

83. The Little Prince – Full confession: I wrote this review a couple of months after actually seeing “The Little Prince” on Netflix and I barely remember anything about it. I remember thinking it was a nice little animated film with a nice message about not forgetting your childhood spirit and imagination and sense of wonder as you grow up. I remember thinking that the CGI animation was nothing special (it was animated in France with a modest budget, so I won’t complain), but the stop-motion sequences were pretty impressive. I remember chuckling a few times and getting the feels once or twice.

It’s alright, from what I recall, so check it out if you like. I’m sorry if you’re a big fan of “The Little Prince” and were hoping for a more in-depth and detailed review, but I genuinely had a hard time remembering stuff about this film, which (considering the film’s message and key themes) is pretty ironic.

82. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back – I was going to make a superlative at the end of this list for “most generic”, but I realized nothing came close to this Tom Cruise action thriller. This movie is so relentlessly generic that it almost feels intentional, like a satire of one of those mediocre 90’s thrillers that are shown endlessly on cable, probably as a double-feature with “U.S. Marshals”. Tom Cruise has never made a bad movie, but this is easily one of his worst ones. Typical conspiracy thriller plot from the type of shitty airport-bookstore paperback novels that boring middle-aged people enjoy (and that these movies are adapted from). Noteworthy only for the scenes with Cruise’s maybe-daughter and their dynamic, something that feels like it’s from a different movie altogether but funnily enough is the only stuff that actually works. Not terrible in any way, but this is something for a lazy Sunday afternoon or to have on in the background while you do something more interesting like ironing your clothes or vacuuming dog hair from underneath the sofa.

81. Gods of Egypt – Who would have thought that a silly fantasy movie about ancient Egyptian deities would be such a beacon for controversy the way it was prior to release? (The controversy was swiftly forgotten about, as it usually happens). Don’t get me wrong, whitewashing is certainly an issue in Hollywood, but in a film where 10-foot-tall, golden-blooded gods rule over a flat Earth consisting entirely of Egypt while Ra, the God of the Sun, rides around in a magic spaceship taking potshots at a giant space worm all day, complaining about historical inaccuracy is a bit silly. Regardless of what ancient Egyptians actually looked like, any attempt at historical realism would just be jarring and out-of-place here.

Gerard Butler and Chadwick Boseman hamming it up as the evil Set and smarmy Thoth are fun, as is Geoffrey Rush as Ra. Shame that the rest of the cast is as dull and forgettable as they are. The CGI quality is in the halfway-point between “good” and “Syfy movie-tier”. It’s not exactly convincing, but it’s pretty and colorful enough that you don’t need too much suspension of disbelief. Tonally and stylistically, the movie harkens back to those cheesy low-budget fantasy films from the 80’s (if not in budget and star-power). I particularly love how the human girl love interest is portrayed as an innocent girl-next-door-y type, but her massive, barely-contained rack is prominent in almost every frame she’s on screen.

The only major detrimental flaw (and it’s kind of a big one) is that “Gods of Egypt” feels about 20-30 minutes too long. It just doesn’t have the narrative strength or filmmaking energy to sustain its’ running time. If it was edited down (particularly the parts with the young, discount-Orlando Bloom main human character), it’d be a reasonably fun movie. Still, I appreciated “Gods of Egypt” for its goofily-sincere throwback spirit, and nothing about it was painful to watch. Not god-like, but not god-awful either.

80. High-Rise – It’s difficult for me to review a film like “High-Rise”, because while there’s a great deal I admire about the film, the overall experience just felt hollow and repetitive to me. It’s about a young doctor who moves into a fancy 1970’s London high-rise, a self-sustained building with many luxuries intended to provide equal quality of housing to all its inhabitants, where mounting tensions between tensions between the upper and lower floors eventually give way to literal class warfare (subtle). While the first half of the movie is engaging, as the doctor maneuvers through all the social groups and meets a lot of the residents, the second half where the actual fighting starts lost me pretty quickly. None of the characters behave like normal human beings, which makes it hard to be invested in their conflict. While there’s some maintenance issues and disrespect in the building, it’s not clear why they all descend into savagery so quickly. I guess it’s something we’re just supposed to accept (human nature, man), but I feel like a more prolonged slide into chaos would have helped the movie, especially since the second half is just repetitive “one side does bad shit to the other, while the doctor tries to stay out of it” nonsense.

While I don’t buy any of the characters, the cast is strong and they play these caricatures with great conviction. I actually love the aesthetics of the movie; the set design, lighting, camerawork, etc. all being very striking and creative. Director Ben Wheatley’s talent here is evident, even if I stopped caring about the material after a while. I get that this movie is intended to be satire, so a lot of my complaints about the movie could be something that someone else would enjoy because it was all intentional, man. Maybe you’ll get more out of it than I did, but to me it was just a pretty and well-acted slog.

79. Lion

White saviors

Inspirational piano-heavy music the occasionally remembers to throw in some foreign flavor

A cute kid

A solid performance from a minority actor (Dev Patel)

A former Oscar winner who cries a bunch (Nicole Kidman)

A well-intentioned but kind of condescending depiction of another culture

Over-reliance on fish-out-of-water humor

Really obvious plot beats and recurring elements

An attempt to depict “realism” in poverty but watering it down for a PG-13 rating,

A happy/emotional ending

“Based on a true story”

Ending text that not only says what happened to the real-life figures with photos and video, but also includes a statistic about missing children in India and how this film is helping to fix the problem while a pop song by Sia plays.

I know this was based on a true story, but it’s like the fucking Academy themselves made this movie.

78. Independence Day: Resurgence – Roland Emmerich is like a more boring Michael Bay. Many of his films are little more than special effects showcases, dragged down by stock characters and awful writing. Oftentimes, the stupidity on display in a Roland Emmerich movie goes past the point of fun and becomes downright insulting to the audience. Charitably put, the man’s kind of a hack., but even a broken hack is right twice a career (sort of). The first time was 1996’s “Independence Day”, one of the most famous movies of the 90’s and a fun piece of cheese in its own right. The second time was 2016’s long-awaited (by nobody) “Independence Day: Resurgence”*. I don’t wish to imply that “Revengeance” is high-art or anything, but if you’re in the right frame of mind, it’s a simple and comfortably enjoyable flick.

A big part of that is that it’s never insultingly stupid. It’s not smart or anything, but it goes about its business without giving anyone a headache. The characters aren’t deep, but they’re likable enough for the audience to enjoy following them and for possibly the first time in Emmerich’s career, they’re not irritating. “Revolutions” is sincere in its goal to entertain, and displays enough self-awareness to get the audience to relax, like when Jeff Goldblum cheekily comments “They like to get the landmarks” during the film’s main destruction sequence. There’s also some hilariously goofy dialogue like “The ship will touch down over the Atlantic.” --> “Which part?” --> “ALL of it.” There’s a little bit of Chinese pandering (including that juice-box filled with milk or some shit that I keep seeing in these movies), but not enough to annoy, and weirdly it suits the theme of different nationalities banding together.

The cast is fine, but really nothing special. Goldblum is enjoyable because he seems constantly aware of the kind of schlock he’s in, but “Regurgitation” is sorely missing Will Smith, who is more charismatic than all the new cast members combined. When Bill Pullman is giving the best performance, your film isn’t going to win any acting awards. One other thing that I personally really missed was David Arnold, whose score for the 1996 film is one of my favorite film scores of that decade, and the only time the soundtrack for this one comes alive is when it occasionally reprises his majestic themes.

In summary, if you’re looking for something original or high-brow, look elsewhere, but if you just want to kill a few hours and seeing a diverse** group of attractive, multinational humans band together to fight aliens warms your heart a little bit in these cynical times, then “Independence Day: Redemption” will scratch that particular itch.

* I also admit to enjoying “White House Down”

**by diverse I mean black, white, Chinese, and Jeff Goldblum.

77. X-Men: Apocalypse - There's a bit in "X-Men: Apocalypse" where the younger characters go see "Return of the Jedi" and one of them comments on how the third movie of the trilogy is always the worst.

How prophetic that line turned out to be.

Not that X-Men: Apocalypse is a bad movie, but it’s definitely closer to Brett Ratner’s “X-Men: The Last Stand” than it is to Bryan Singer’s previously strong entries in the franchise. This is definitely one of those “you take the good with the bad” situations. This is a really inconsistent (tonally and otherwise) movie, so instead of writing a repetitive “this is good, but this isn’t” review, I’ll just list off the positives and negatives and leave it up to you to decide if it’s worth watching or not. This will include some spoilers, but you’re not missing much and the canon in these movies is a complete mess anyway. I’ll say that I was entertained, sometimes genuinely and sometimes ironically, for most of the film, so take that how you will.

The Good:

Evan Peters’ Quicksilver, who steals the second X-Men movie in a row

The Quicksilver mansion scene

Nice visuals

Good soundtrack

The early scenes in Poland

The Wolverine cameo

The Bad:

Nightcrawler being wasted despite being one of the best parts of Singer’s “X2”

Jennifer Lawrence is clearly phoning it in

The film does nothing fun with the 1980s setting

Oscar Isaac is wasted on a generic “I’m going to destroy the world and only the strong shall remain” villain.

Storm joins Apocalypse’s gang for like no reason, then switches sides pretty abruptly during the climax

Olivia Munn’s Psylocke has like, one or two lines the whole movie

For the third movie in a row, Magneto becomes the bad guy because he’s Magneto

For the third movie in a row, Professor X gives Magneto the “You don’t have to do this, there is still good in you” speech.

I know it’s the key theme of the franchise, but to hear these characters complain about mutant rights and discrimination is getting tiring after so many movies

It’s two-and-a-half hours long

The Funny:

Nightcrawler’s makeup

Everyone in the movie keeps saying how important Mystique is when this is the most useless and unnecessary her character has ever been.

After killing like, millions of people during the climax, they just let Magneto go, with Professor X telling him “I’ll see you around, old friend”

The characters are 20 years older than they were in “X-Men: First Class”, but all still look like they’re in their 20s or early 30’s.

That scene where Professor X beats up Apocalypse in his mind

Coca-Cola product placement

Magneto destroying Auschwitz

76. The Finest Hours – “The Finest Hours” is a period disaster/rescue drama about a small 1950’s Cape Cod Coast Guard team’s attempts to rescue the crew of an oil tanker after their ship gets Titanic’d by a major storm, and it’s as old-fashioned a movie as it gets, even to a fault. It’s a refreshingly straightforward film. I liked the community/teamwork-focused buildup, as we get to know Chris Pine’s Coast Guardsman, his love interest, and the crew of the ship before the disaster hits. I liked the scenes on the water the most, the experience of them struggling to clear the huge waves during the heavy weather is actually pretty harrowing. I liked the warm tone and the understated heroism.

There’s really not much to this film. I feel like it’s a bit too safe and predictable and not as white-knuckle exciting as I’d hoped. I wasn’t a fan of how the movie kept cutting back to the generic worries of the people on the shore, and the only things in this film thicker than the nostalgia ah the faahkin New England ahhccents. Still, I enjoyed it. It’s not a first-rate vessel, but it stays afloat.

75. Warcraft – I’ll start this by saying that I’m not a Warcraft fan and have never played any of the games. With that out of the way…

"Warcraft" is the nerdiest movie I think I've ever seen. It was so geeky, I felt like watching and enjoying it gave me my virginity back. This movie was made for Warcraft fans and literally nobody else (maybe the Chinese, but they're an easy-to-please bunch).

I actually really admire that. In an age where almost all blockbusters are watered-down, homogenized garbage made by people who seek maximum profit by catering to the largest possible demographic, seeing Universal Pictures take such a risk and sinking $160 million (plus marketing) into a film so niche and nerdy warms my heart. A movie that tries to please everybody pleases nobody in particular, and I'm happy for the Warcraft nerds for having their own cinematic moment.

The movie itself is kind of a mess, however. Even putting aside the stuff you probably need to be a WC fan to understand, the pacing is wonky, the script is weak, most of the human cast is bland, the editing sucks, and it ends very anticlimactically. While Duncan Jones (who is the main reason I saw this movie) pulls off some impressive visuals and great moments, the movie for the most part lacks the epic feel you’d expect in a big-budget fantasy movie. I was able to follow the basic story, but I was definitely lost at times, and remembered like, 3 or 4 of the characters’ names by the time the movie ended.

“Warcraft” certainly has its positives, however. While most of the human cast is underwritten or boring, Travis Fimmel and Ben Foster are both quite good in their roles, easily standing out from their cardboard cut-out castmates. The orcs won the lottery on their actors, all of whom play the orcs with such conviction that they feel more believable than most of their human counterparts. Even the writing was better during the orc scenes, weirdly. Speaking of believable, the special effects on display are fantastic. Between the amazing-looking orcs, the magic effects and the scenery, the CG artists have definitely earned their paychecks on this one. The battle scenes were fun, and (THANK GOD) shot clearly without using shaky-cam or fast editing, those two errant turds on the delicious pie of most action films. It’s also nice to see a movie that seems like it was created out of love and affection by people who actually care for the franchise, and who don’t feel the need to make it ironic or quippy.

While I mentioned that the writing is weak (most characters are frustratingly undeveloped and there are lots of important-sounding proper nouns that left me scratching my head), I see plenty of room for improvement, and with more refinement and focus, I can see a great sequel arising from this. I genuinely hope this franchise continues, because even though it’s not my thing and certainly not without its weaknesses, I enjoyed it for the most part and it feels like such a refreshing medicine to the disease of bland, corporate modern blockbusters that I don’t mind the odd taste or that the spoon is made from frozen fanboy wank.

74. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows – I admit to being one of the few people that liked the Michael Bay-produced 2014 TMNT reboot, so I was also one of the few people looking forward to this year’s generically-subtitled sequel. I’m happy to say that as incremental as it may be, OOTS is a definite improvement. It feels less like the factory-assembled reboot typical of Hollywood attempts to cash in on nostalgic properties, and feels more in line with the original cartoon series. No longer is charisma-vacuum Megan Fox the main character; she is relegated to supporting duties, and the turtles (still enthusiastically played by their mo-cap actors) take center stage. This movie does the typical sequel thing where it includes more villains than the first, but all of them (besides Shredder, who is little more than a cameo) are surprisingly entertaining and never outstay their welcome. Tyler Perry is delightful as a mad scientist, as are the two guys who play man-beasts Bebop and Rocksteady. “Arrow” star Stephen Amell is clearly having a blast as vigilante Casey Jones. The action sequences are creative and fun to watch.

There’s plenty of product placement, but the Turtles have always been whores designed to sell merchandise, so it doesn’t feel out of place. I miss Brian Tyler’s bombastic music from the first film, the score here by Steve Jablonsky being much more generic and forgettable. The few attempts at character development are trite and unnecessary. The writing is still kinda crappy, and there’s a bit too much juvenile humor. I suppose my biggest complaint is that while the filmmaking is competent, it really lacks the sort of energy and inspiration to take it to the next level. Almost all the elements for a genuinely good Turtles movie are here; it just needs someone to put it all together into something that’s more than the sum of its parts, and not the dude who directed “Earth to Echo” (I’d heard of it either).

73. Zootopia – Nice animation, great attention to detail and some good visual gags (the population-counter on the rabbit farm, the wolf cop going undercover, etc.). Highlight of the film was the opening school-play scene. Nice message for the kids about how prejudices can lead even the most well-intentioned of people astray. Plot goes through the familiar beats of a Disney film, except for a pretty retarded third-act heel turn that I won’t spoil, but it would make more sense and have more story impact if the character didn’t feel so minor, and if it wasn’t so last-minute in the movie. “Frozen” was dull as shit, but at least the scene where HANS BETRAYS ANNA (spoiler warning) was pretty hilarious because of how well-timed and out of nowhere it was. The “grown-up” references (Godfather, Breaking Bad, etc.) feel pretty forced, mainly due to them just being references and not actual jokes. Overall, it’s a decent, well-made, and occasionally funny film (“I mean, I am just a dumb bunny, but we are good at multiplying”), but the overly-formulaic and predictable plot signifies that Disney’s lack of creative ambition is still there. Also, the sloth scene might have been funny if I hadn’t already seen it in the trailer. It’s definitely not one of those scenes that’s funny more than once.

Recommended for kids, furries, and those who love animal puns.

72. Hush – A deaf-mute writer is terrorized in her home by a psychopath intent on killing her. A nice premise with a refreshing twist on the tired home invasion genre, and the movie is a brisk 81 minutes. However, I feel like it should have been shorter, and it was only so long because the villain was so unbelievably stupid. At multiple points he could have entered her home and killed her pretty easily, but the plot dictates that she needs to think of ways to survive and outsmart him, so he’s just written as a crazy and evil idiot who wants to toy with his prey. I imagine most people would be fine with it, but his behavior became more annoying than scary after a while.

Making the film watchable is the solid directing and cinematography, along with writer/star Kate Siegel who makes for a very sympathetic and likable protagonist. We both wince and feel for her character when she gets hurt, as she sobs quietly but can’t audibly cry. Her performance is so convincing that I was genuinely surprised to find out that she’s not actually deaf in real life. The movie is decent and worth watching if you like horror-thrillers, and it shows than Blumhouse can still produce the occasional, not-garbage horror film.

71. War Dogs - I wasn’t a fan of the “Hangover” trilogy, even if the third entry was an admirably bold middle-finger to all of its established fans, but I saw talent in Todd Phillips’ direction which made me somewhat look forward to his next endeavor. Based on a true story, Miles Teller and Jonah Hill play two 20-something Miami dudes who get into the world of gun-running and happen upon a major but shady deal with the U.S. government. Basically, “Lord of War” for the new generation. However, where “Lord of War” was, despite its’ wry sense of humor, a pretty dramatic and searing look at the arms trade and the U.S. government’s involvement with it. “War Dogs”, meanwhile, feels more like a lightweight “Wolf of Wall Street”-esque rise-and-fall story of two friends and businessmen that, despite the constant references to the Bush administration, feels like only a passing criticism of the government. The key problem with the movie is how been-there-done-that it is. Even if you know nothing about the real-world story that inspired it, all the dramatic beats and character progressions are thoroughly predictable, and watching it I felt like I’ve seen this movie a hundred times already. It even opens with a variation of that freeze-frame “You’re probably wondering how I got in this situation” cliché. It’s not bad. It’s solid in pretty much every aspect. The directing by Phillips (I like a visual gag where a character sees approaching Iraqi insurgents in his truck’s side mirror, then the camera pans down to “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear”), the writing, the acting (with a noteworthy turn by Jonah Hill). It’s all fine. But the movie’s crippling lack of ambition means that by the end of the year, it’ll probably be completely forgotten about. I’m writing this review two days after having seen it and I’m genuinely having trouble remembering things about it. To put it in a hack-y movie critic kind of way; “War Dogs” is a gun that doesn’t malfunction, but never hits the bulls-eye either.

70. Jason Bourne – If the Bourne films popularized the “gritty espionage thriller” genre, 2016’s “Jason Bourne” feels like a generic knockoff made while the trend was hot, except it’s several years later and no one really cares. Still, I was looking forward to the film, because there are so few good action movies coming out these days and Paul Greengrass is at least a pretty strong director. I will always slightly resent Greengrass for popularizing the shaky-cam, fast-editing style of action filmmaking, but I admit he does it better than pretty much everyone, and it actually suits Bourne’s gritty, improvisational nature. There’s an early chase set during a riot in Athens and a climactic chase in Las Vegas that feel as urgent and intense as any action scenes I’ve seen in a while. Still, you wish the guy would invest in a tripod or something. It’s nice that Greengrass doesn’t discriminate, but exclusively hiring camera operators with Parkinson’s does make the end product a bit hard to follow, visually.

The plot is some hokum about the CIA trying to knock off a billionaire social media tech guru because he won’t let them use his product to spy on everyone, and somehow Jason Bourne is brought out of exile/retirement because of EVEN MORE buried secrets about his past. It’s pretty generic stuff that tries to be timely but comes across as trying too hard. Damon’s a compelling lead, and he’s given a decent villainous counterpart in Vincent Cassel, but it’s hard to be involved in the material. I was also disappointed by the lack of character development for Julia Stiles’ returning Nicky Parsons. Some insight into why she came out of hiding to give Bourne information would have been nice. The rest of the cast is unmemorable; Tommy Lee Jones in particular looks like he’s counting down the seconds until he stops shooting and can cash in his check.

You can tell that this is a tacked-on cash-grab sequel. They couldn’t even bother thinking of a proper Bourne title (The Bourne Resurgence, maybe?), and while Damon and Greengrass are definitely not half-assing it, you can tell their hearts aren’t really in this. Their workmanlike approach and their undeniable talent, however, does mean that Jason Bourne is an enjoyable thriller, and you’ll at least get a great pair of action scenes out of it. Still, what the hell were they thinking, making a Bourne film without Jeremy Renner?

69. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - There is perhaps no bigger red flag to me for a major blockbuster movie than hearing about “extensive reshoots”. Putting aside the lessons we’ve learned from “Fantastic 4” and “Suicide Squad”, the main problem with these kinds of reshoots is that it speaks to the studio not having enough confidence in the director’s vision, and more in the opinions of test audiences. I know that reshoots are commonplace in the film industry, but when they announced that “Rogue One” would have several weeks of reshoots that weren’t even headed by director Gareth Edwards, my heart sank a bit.

Now, I don’t mean to compare this to the previously mentioned comic-book dumpster fires, but the fact that “Rogue One” is just “kinda good” makes it pretty disappointing for me. Before some of you nerds ask; no, I didn’t watch this film with the sole purpose of criticizing it and ruining the Star Wars circlejerk. I was really looking forward to it when I heard that Gareth Edwards would direct, because his recent “Godzilla” reboot was fucking awesome and easily one of the best blockbusters of recent years, and I had hoped that “Rogue One” would mark an effort in taking this unkillable franchise to bold, new directions. It’s not like doing so would even be considered risky; “Star Wars” fans would literally pay money to eat dogshit if they were told it’d be canon or if the actor who played Wedge Antilles told them to do it.

But there’s the problem. Despite some differences in approach to the main saga, “Rogue One” is as safe as they come. Sure, there’s no opening crawl and the visuals are grittier than usual, but in terms of dialogue, storytelling, style of music, etc., it’s still very much a Star Wars movie. I do like how the movie takes itself fairly seriously and is bereft of the typical cringe-worthy Disneyquips©, but it kind of lacks the passion and inspiration that made so many people fall in love with the original trilogy.

Michael Giacchino’s score does the job, but isn’t all that memorable. He happily mimics John Williams’ style, but doesn’t display the sense of flair or majesty that made Williams’ music for this series so famous. It’s a shame we’ll never get to hear original composer Alexandre Desplat’s work for this film (he couldn’t do the score due to rescheduling around the reshoots).

The cast is a major case of “talented actors let down by a weak script and thin characters”. Try doing the Plinkett thing and describe the characters’ personalities, without talking about their role in the plot or their motivations, and ask yourself if any of them sound interesting. The main character Jyn Erso is especially disappointing, since what initially seems like a personal quest to find her father turns into her just selflessly becoming a noble rebel hero. There’s kind of an arc, sure, but it’s seriously missing any real drama to make the arc meaningful. This is especially bad during the slow and plodding first two acts of the film, which are rather unengaging and even boring at times.

The only somewhat amusing characters are the droid K-2SO (Alan Tudyk), the blind kung-fu former Jedi (Donnie Yen), and the Death Star director (Ben Mendelsohn). The droid is pretty much the only source of humor in the film, and he feels welcome because he doesn’t feel over-the-top (he’s a kind of cross between C3PO and HK-47). Donnie Yen is an insanely charismatic actor, and he makes his character interesting enough that he can overcome the writing. Ben Mendelsohn makes for an entertaining and slimy villain, but he’s let down by the script and the constraints of the canon more than anyone. Mendelsohn’s naturally villainous performance is wasted due to his character’s frequent emasculation at the hands of old franchise baddies Grand Moff Tarkin and Darth Vader.

And therein lies the crux of the matter, both that of the film and of Disney; they focus less on building the future or telling new, memorable stories in lieu of milking the past for all it’s worth. This is best exemplified by Disney’s decision to reintroduce a pair of ANH characters using their creepy, uncanny-valley CGI technology and body doubles. They did this in a few Marvel movies to have actors play younger versions of themselves, but here they use it to bring a dead actor (Peter Cushing as Tarkin) back to life, and it’s quite morbid and uncomfortable when you think about it. They literally bought a dead man’s likeness from his estate to milk it for nostalgia bucks. Is that where we are as a society where we’re totally cool with something like this? Wouldn’t it be much more natural (and cheaper) to just recast the old characters? You know, with human beings and whatnot?

Don’t get me wrong. As an action-space-fantasy movie, “Rogue One” works well enough. I mentioned previously that the first two acts are meh, despite some good moments (like the Death Star’s demonstration on a desert city, and the whole opening scene). Most of the movie was characters traveling from one colorless location to the next, getting into a scuffle with the Empire, then escaping. It’s in the third act where the movie really kicks into gear. The stakes are raised, things feel more urgent, and the bland locations are swapped for a beautiful tropical beach setting with an Empire base on it. It’s basically one large action sequence, but it works. Edwards again uses his excellent sense of scale and visual prowess to make the battle feel epic and exciting. As someone who isn’t a big Star Wars fan, it’s easily the best 30-40 minutes in any of the movies for me.

However, while “Rogue One” gives an admirable effort in being its own thing, it can’t help but keep calling back to the original trilogy just to please its established fanbase. I don’t blame all of the film’s flaws on the reshoots. There’s no obvious difference between original and new footage like a crappy wig or awful, forced humor. And who knows, maybe the reshoots actually made the film better. But at the end, “Rogue One” feels like it doesn’t want to be a Star Wars movie but is forced to be one (pun intended) by its strict parents. So often the characters go on about “hope”, as if they are seeking HOPE of a NEW variety. It may be like poetry (it rhymes), but after a point it becomes less poetry and more beating you over the head with a rhyming dictionary. For future installments, let’s cross our fingers for a little less “hope” and a little more “new”.

68. Passengers – Betrays Chris Pratt’s best movie performance to date, an excellent first act, and its own interesting (and pretty disturbing) premise by watering it down with schmaltzy Hollywood romance, unnecessary action, and a cancer-inducing end-credits Imagine Dragons song. I could write an entire essay on why the movie’s specific approach to its story is deeply uncomfortable. I’m also pretty much over Jennifer Lawrence at this point.

67. Three – Intriguing and unique chamber piece, but its comical elements and over-the-top melodrama feel out of place, and the final shootout feels like style just for style’s sake, which makes it oddly boring. Watchable, but a massive step down for Johnnie To after his excellent “Drug War”.

66. Captain Fantastic – Soulful performance from Viggo Mortensen and the occasional touching and insightful moment help buoy this portrayal of family and unconventional parenting whose biggest flaw is having a script and viewpoint that’s too smug and proud of itself for its own good, which makes most of the emotional moments feel cheap and unearned. Wes Anderson could have made a great movie out of this.

65. The Edge of Seventeen – Overcomes (just barely) the unlikability of its main character, the annoying way characters always describe what they’re going through, and its own sheer predictability with good performances, the occasional funny line and a fairly honest and empathetic look at growing up. I’d respect it more if it had the balls to have an unhappy ending. Woody Harrelson gives probably my favorite portrayal of a teacher in a movie.

64. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice – Oh, boy, here we go. For the record, this review is of the extended cut of the film.

I firmly believe that you can make or break a movie in editing. No matter how good the writing, acting, directing, and cinematography are, if a film is poorly edited, it becomes confusing at best, and a complete chore to watch at worst. Such was the case with the theatrical cut of the highly-anticipated (not by me, of course) “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice”, a film that despite being two-and-a-half hours long, felt like a rushed and confusing mess. I’m not saying that the extended cut is some sort of masterpiece, but this 3-hour version is what Zack Snyder intended the finished product to be before Warner Bros. got their stupid fucking fingers on it. Characters are given more scenes to be fleshed out, subplots are better developed, and the pacing is significantly improved, amounting to a much more coherent and downright better film. If you saw the theatrical version and are really on the fence about the film, I recommend watching the extended cut.

The movie itself is still fundamentally flawed in some aspects. It’s still a film constrained by the pressure to set up an entire cinematic universe, which makes the story itself suffer. It probably should have been solely about the personal grudge between Batman and Superman and the consequences it takes on both of them, and them eventually teaming up together when they realize they’re not so different and both want the same thing. The actual movie tries to do that, have Lex Luthor try to destroy both of them, introduce Wonder Woman, set up Wonder Woman’s origin story, set-up three other Justice League members’ origin stories, set up the Justice League movie itself, have an investigative Lois Lane subplot, hint at a future bad guy, and create a giant Frankenstein monster for the third act, among other things. The movie does keep most of these plates spinning, but some of them do fall. It’s an ambitious undertaking, but we’re still left with expensive broken china.

The writing is pretty hackneyed, too. If you can explain Lex Luthor’s motivation for hating Superman to me without citing a comic book or saying “it’s just what he does”, please do. They hint at some biblical reason for it (the Christ allegories and symbolism are even less subtle here as they were in “Man of Steel”, to give you an idea), but it came across as Lex hating him for no particular reason and trying to quote scripture to justify it. There are like three extended dream sequences in the movie, which feels like two too many. And then there’s that awful flow-breaking scene where they set-up The Flash, Cyborg, and Aquaman. I’m reminded of an anecdote where during the making of “Man of Steel”, Zack Snyder wanted to include an after-credits scene but producer Christopher Nolan opposed, telling him “A real movie wouldn’t do that.” This story is probably bullshit, but I think it’s funny that Snyder made an after-credits scene and just crowbarred it into the middle of the movie.

“Batman v. Superman” attempts (and actually succeeds for a while) to really create a sense of consequence in a comic book movie, with the whole world, particularly Batman, being concerned about Superman’s presence on Earth after the destruction caused in “Man of Steel”. But it’s all kind of thrown out the window when that conflict is immediately dropped after the “MARTHA” scene so they could team up to fight the aforementioned Frankenstein monster. The “MARTHA” scene has become kind of infamous, but I was actually fine with it (even if it could have been better written) until Batman says “Don’t worry. Martha’s not dying tonight”, which got a good howl out of me. It was at the very least an interesting movie until it became the typical third-act destruction fest that has characterized so many superhero flicks, with even a few tonally jarring quips thrown in for good measure. The actual fight between Batman and Superman only lasts for like 5 minutes, despite so much buildup. While fun, it feels really schlocky, especially when Batman rips a sink out of a bathroom wall and starts beating Superman over the head with it. Why they started fighting in the first place instead of talking it out like Superman originally intended is beyond me, as well. Zack Snyder’s penchant for outstanding visuals is never in question (he does handheld camerawork better than pretty much anyone) but his grasp on storytelling has always been a bit iffy, even if this is arguably his best work.

If you’re a comic book fan and weren’t a fan of the characterization in this film, the extended cut won’t change your mind on that. Superman is still kind of a dick, Lex Luthor is still a Jolly Rancher-sucking autist, and Batman still kills people. It (mostly) makes sense in the context in the film, and I personally didn’t care too much, but I know some comic book fans who won’t forgive it. Last but not least, I want to mention what is probably the most annoying product placement I’ve seen in a movie this year. It’s not as gratuitous as a TMNT or Transformers flick, but at least those films didn’t take themselves seriously. There is nothing that can ruin a good, serious scene like a really out-of-place product placement. I was enjoying the scene with Clark Kent and Lois Lane in the bathtub until the camera turned to the bottle of Olay and stayed there for like a solid 2 seconds. The scene I was most looking forward to in the movie (the “Man of Steel” destruction of Metropolis as seen through Bruce Wayne’s eyes, which was really well done) was really hurt by the fact that right before the movie started they showed an ad for the Jeep used in the scene, using footage from the movie. There’s also a scene where Lex Luthor tries to force-feed Holly Hunter a Jolly Rancher. I understand that the movie’s titanic budget has to come from somewhere, but it’s shit like this that really pulls me out of the movie.

The cast is strong, particularly Jeremy Irons’ Alfred and Ben Affleck, who exceeds all expectations as Batman, even if he looks a bit silly in the suit. If nothing else, I’m really looking forward to his solo Batfleck film. Gal Gadot is nothing special, but at least she isn’t terrible. Henry Cavill is solid and likable even when the script lets him down, as is Amy Adams (not to politicize things, but I feel like this movie is getting no credit whatsoever for actually having a female love-interest who is like ten years older than her male counterpart, as opposed to the typical older-male-younger-female one). I like how they try to make Laurence Fishburne’s newspaper editor like a reverse J. Jonah Jameson from Spider-Man, constantly telling Clark Kent to report on some local sports team and admonishing him for writing about a vigilante dressed up as a bat beating the shit out of criminals and branding them.

I could go on, but at least BvS feels like an actual movie, instead of the really long trailer that was “Man of Steel”. Its (many) flaws aside, Zack Snyder is to be commended for using such a massive budget to at least try and do something different and ambitious than typical superhero films, and the fact that he succeeds as much as he does despite so many expectations and so much pressure is to be lauded. His cast is good, his action scenes are brutal and weighty (I loved that “Arkham” style warehouse fight between Batman and a group of armed thugs), his heart is in the right place, and he really, honestly dares to be different. If he had a better script and a not-terrible studio to back him up, “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” would be appreciated for what it is, and not the kind of movie that inspires actual news articles about RottenTomatoes.

63. Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk – Uneven but occasionally powerful and refreshingly biting look at America’s oft-hypocritical worship of its soldiers and what battle can really do to their psyche, with lead actor and newcomer Joe Alwyn deftly carrying the movie on his shoulders. Let down by a weak script and most of the supporting characters being one-dimensional caricatures, however intentional it may be. The weirdest cast ever assembled for a drama (Garrett Hedlund, Chris Tucker, Steve Martin, Kristen Stewart, and Vin Diesel) works surprisingly well, except for the sadly out-of-place Martin. Didn’t get to see it in the original 4K, 120fps format, but at least I don’t get a headache out of it.

62. Hidden Figures – Typical inspirational historical drama. Sugary and as clichéd as it gets, but solid enough that it works. Elevated by strong performances from the three leading women, made amusing by how every other line spoken by any of them is an Obama-esque crowd-pleasing “Mmhmm” moment, and almost ruined by the presence of Bazinga as a racist, sexist strawman who is just there to be continually outsmarted and embarrassed by the smart, black lady. Probably going to become a staple in high school math/physics classes with lazy teachers. Thumbs up for the Oscar-bait title.

61. 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi – I let out a good chortle when I heard that there would be a movie about the 2012 Benghazi attack starring Jim from “The Office” and directed by none other than Michael Bay, a man whose approach to maturity and good taste generally amounts to a passing laugh and cocaine-sneeze. It was to my pleasant surprise (and admitted slight disappointment) that “13 Hours” turned out to be not only a solid military thriller but also Bay’s most restrained and mature movie. Don’t get me wrong; there’s still plenty of military hardware porn, explosions, and tastefully lit shots of a shirtless John Krasinski (hnnng). However, it also doesn’t include the obnoxious humor and out-of-place product placement that characterize most of his films (although there is a really unnecessary scene in a McDonald’s drive-through), and it actually takes itself fairly seriously, which is surprising coming from the guy who directed a film about two Miami cops who single-handedly invade Cuba.

It presents an account of what happened that night at the U.S. embassy and nearby CIA station as seen through the perspective of the security contractors stationed there, and it avoids politicizing the matter. There’s an annoying CIA chief strawman who refuses to let the contractors go in early to rescue the ambassador, but that’s pretty much the extent of it. The rest is a tense military action film, along with the expected jingoistic hero worship that these types of films have to include by law or something, though thankfully it’s not as bad here. Bay spends a decent amount of time setting up the location, the characters and the situation, before tits go inevitably up. The characters are fairly thin, their non-action scenes amounting to the usual dick-swinging soldier banter and some phone calls to their wholesome, attractive families back home, but the actors are good and convincing enough to make you care about them.

The action scenes are the reasons to see this, characterized by strong sound design and the aforementioned hardware porn that I admittedly enjoy, as well as some great shots, like the slo-motion one of a soldier surrounded by sparks. I also liked the atmosphere of the film, as the contractors slowly move through the ghostly streets of Benghazi, one of them remarking “It’s like we’re in a horror movie”, as some residents nearby are casually watching a soccer match while ignoring the gunfights outside their homes, as if it’s just another weekday evening.

The writing is pretty weak. It gets the needed information across, but the characterization is thin, the dialogue ranges from corny to boring, and there really isn’t enough plot to make this movie as long as it is.

Nontheless, it’s a solid action-thriller. I’ve defended Michael Bay for a long time now (mainly because he made “The Rock”, and I don’t see any other fucking director that made “The Rock”), but between this and 2013’s “Pain & Gain” he shows how much better he can be with smaller budgets and when not constrained by a plot involving giant robots punching each other and making racial wisecracks.

60. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping – Imagine “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story”, but not as good, and you get a good idea of what “Popstar” is like. The humor was pretty hit-or-miss and definitely favored quantity over quality when it came to the jokes, as can be expected from a movie made by SNL alumni, but it kept me entertained and made me laugh enough to warrant a recommendation. Funniest bits were the TMZ parodies, Justin Timberlake, and the “Equal Rights” music video.

59. Midnight Special – I like Jeff Nichols as a filmmaker. It’s partly because Michael Shannon is in all of his films, and I’ll watch anything that man does at this point, but Nichols has shown himself to be a nuanced and compelling storyteller with an excellent command of both atmosphere and tone. It’s this skilled storytelling and another strong performance from Shannon that make Midnight Special worth watching, even if it’s all in service of a story that becomes pretty dumb by the time we find out what’s going on.

The basic plot is that of a father who runs away from a religious compound with his son and is soon hunted by a number of groups because of some mysterious power that his son possesses. The opening scene where they and a helping friend of the father hurriedly leave a motel room and drive away into the night is excellent and expertly sets up a low-key but involving sci-fi thriller tone. Unfortunately, the more the movie goes on, the more we find out what the son’s powers are and what his “purpose” is, and without spoiling anything, it lost me pretty quickly after the late-second act revelation. The strong cast led by Shannon and Nichols’ direction kept the movie compelling enough to get me to the finish line, but this is definitely a case of a screenplay being too ambitious for its own good.

58. Green Room – Punk rockers vs. neo-Nazis is a premise more fitting of a sillier movie, in my opinion. Writer/director Jeremy Saulnier (who made 2014’s underrated gem “Blue Ruin”) probably knew this, and subverts it by making “Green Room” as grim and unpleasant as he possibly could. Going off of a theme from “Blue Ruin”, the deaths in this movie are often bloody, realistically brutal, and purposely sudden and anticlimactic, simultaneously being a violent movie but also anti-violence. Saulnier’s technical aptitude and the talents of the cast are never in question, and the movie itself is quite gripping and well-paced. I don’t think “Green Room” is as good or thematically rich as “Blue Ruin”, and the ending is a bit of a letdown, but it’s still a well-made and clever genre flick, and if you enjoy feeling like shit and averting your eyes from the screen then it’s the movie for you.

57. Eye in the Sky – A government joint-operation to kill some high-ranking terrorists in Kenya via a drone strike is halted when a little local girl enters the kill-radius. The story is told from the perspective of a ground recon team trying to get her out, the drone pilots, and the military brass and government officials who argue about whether the strike is justified and should be carried out. It has a good setup and a pretty powerful climax, but drags quite a bit in the middle portion where those in charge of the operation keep referring up to their superiors to figure out if they can/should/will fire the missile. The cast, in particular the late, great Alan Rickman as a weary general, are good enough to get you through the duller bits of the movie, and it’s really nice to see Barkhad Abdi in a movie again. While it could have trimmed some of its excess fat, “Eye in the Sky” is a tense, compelling thriller, and a much more mature and responsible examination of the consequences of drone warfare than “London Has Fallen”, albeit much less entertaining.

56. Sully – You’ve got to give Clint Eastwood credit. For a guy in his mid 80’s, he sure is prolific these days, regularly cranking out solid movies every year or two. In retelling the events of the “Miracle on the Hudson” passenger plane water landing from a years beack “Sully” continues that tradition by being good. Not great, but good. Tom Hanks makes for a fine lead, Aaron Eckhart is decent as Hanks’ co-pilot and friend (albeit constantly overshadowed by his own glorious mustache), just about everything else is meh. The highlight of the movie is the water landing itself, shown 3 times at different points from the perspectives of an air traffic controller, the passengers, and finally the cockpit. These scenes are intense and pretty harrowing, dodgy CGI aside. The rest of the movie is either the lead-up to the flight, or the aftermath where Captain Sully deals with the mental trauma from the incident and contends with a federal investigative committee that easily wins the award for “Most Obvious Strawmen of the Year”. Whatever. The film is well-made and compelling enough. As I said before, it’s good. It’s the definition of a 7/10 movie. If you’re old, like the audience during my theater showing was, you’ll probably love it. Everyone else will probably just like it. If you’re expecting something along the lines of Eastwood’s “Unforgiven” or “Letters from Iwo Jima”, you’ll be disappointed, but if you just want a solid, likable movie, this won’t Sully your expectations…I’m sorry for that one.

55. Christine – An amazing, simultaneously magnetic but also hard-to-watch performance by Rebecca Hall as 1970’s reporter Christine Chubbuck, and a very raw portrayal of depression, but ultimately feels pointless as it says nothing about Chubbuck or her mental state, as if the film is keeping her at a distance when it should be holding us down face-first into what she was truly feeling, making the ordeal feel kind of exploitative, when you think about it. If you know her story, the scene you spend the whole movie anticipating is done excellently, however.

54. Certain Women – MINIMALISM. It’s either your type of thing or it isn’t. “Certain Women” is three loosely-connected stories about women who live in Montana, and it’s as grounded and un-flashy as a film can get without being a home movie. It’s one of those films that’s about normal people and their everyday problems, and makes it all seem profound. To me, it worked well for the most part. I was engaged by the nicely composed cinematography and the good performances. The three stories vary in quality. Laura Dern plays a small-town lawyer who gets caught up in a hostage situation, and this is the most straightforward of the three, but also quite engaging. Michelle Williams plays a mother who wants to build her dream home in the woods but faces ambivalence from everyone in her life, and hers is the weakest story, if only because it feels so short and anticlimactic (even by this movie’s standards).

The third story is surprisingly the best, with a ranch hand played by newcomer Lily Gladstone who forms a bond with a young law school graduate played by Kristen Stewart, and it’s an affecting and nuanced look at loneliness. Kelly Reichardt’s direction is modest and very low-key, but it’s empathetic and creates a good sense of atmosphere. This movie is also slower than watching paint dry at half-speed, lacks any overt drama and is very light on plot, so it’s one of those movies you’ll either completely love or won’t care for at all. I liked it, because I’m an edgy contrarian, and because I like a movie that gives its characters breathing room and trusts the audience to be smart enough to get their own thematic value out of it, so it’s worth your while if you’re not feeling too sleepy. Plus, there’s an adorable corgi in it, so automatic recommendation from me.

53. Manchester by the Sea – Reading the reviews and seeing all the award nominations, you’d think this mostly plotless exploration of grief is the desperately-needed salvation of cinema. When the credits rolled, however, all that hype ended up giving me was a resounding “Wait, that’s it?”.

The film is about a Boston janitor with a tragic past whose brother dies, and he goes back to his coastal New England hometown to handle his brother’s affairs and break the news to his son. As the janitor, Casey Affleck delivers one of the best portrayals of grief I’ve ever seen. Even before you know his story, his eyes and demeanor subtly hide an ocean of pain and heartbreak, and he pulls it off so naturally you often forget you’re watching an actor. Equally as good (and possibly better) is Michelle Williams, who plays his ex-wife. The filmmaking crime of the century is only putting her in the movie for like 5-10 minutes, where focusing more on her and Affleck’s relationship would have made the movie infinitely better, in my opinion. The guy who plays Affleck’s nephew is alright, given that his and Affleck’s relationship is the core of the movie, but nothing to write home about other than one really good breakdown scene. Everyone else ranges from “passable” to “clearly acting for the first time” to “distracting cameo from Matthew Broderick”.

I don’t wish to imply that the movie fails in any major way. I wasn’t a fan of how often the movie tried to be funny (“funny” in that New England way where characters swear a lot), and there is a glaring overuse of music, but it wasn’t a deal-breaker. I suppose that outside of a small handful of powerful scenes and moments, “Manchester by the Sea” felt like it was missing that emotional gut-punch it aimed for. It peaks halfway through in a flashback where we see what made Affleck’s character the way he is, and the movie only comes close to matching it during the last scene between Affleck and Williams. Don’t get me wrong; I understand the intention of making the film understated, so as to show a realistic depiction of grief, where people kind of just continue going about life and trying to not think about it. However, it goes a bit too far in this direction, to the point where I didn’t care for the mundanity of their lives and wanted some crying and goddamn emotion. This may be an over-simplification of how I feel, but basically, the movie is 10/10 when Affleck and Williams are onscreen together, an 8/10 when it’s just Affleck, and a 5/10 or a 6/10 when it’s any other combination of actors.

52. A Bigger Splash – Seems like it’s going to be a mature meditation on romance and desire until Ralph Fiennes shows up 5 minutes in, steals the entire fucking movie away from both the director and the rest of the cast, rubs his dick on the print, then sets it on fire while giggling to himself and dancing around naked. One of the best performances in a career filled with great performances. Movie goes downhill significantly in the last 30 or so minutes.

51. The Love Witch – Clever satire of gender dynamics as seen through the eyes of a love-addicted femme fatale witch. PERFECTLY nails the old-school Technicolor horror/sexploitation vibe. The art design, camerawork, hair/makeup, and even the way the actors behave is spot-on. Bravo to director Anna Biller and all involved as far as the technical aspects go. Story is at first detrimentally slow and the movie is far too long, but it picks up in the second half. Feels a bit too written, as if the characters occasionally stop being themselves and become mouthpieces for the writer/director.

50. Hardcore Henry – Let it not be said that there is no innovative filmmaking these days. Russian musician and music video director Ilya Naishuller was given a few million dollars to make a balls-to-the-wall action film filmed entirely from the first-person perspective of the main character. The most impressive thing about the stupidly-titled “Hardcore Henry” is how much mileage it manages to get out of its first-person gimmick, and how surprisingly well-made it is. Actual stunts are performed, effects are mostly practical (aside from a few bits of awful CGI), and you always feel like you’re in the body of the main character. The action scenes are fun and inventive, there’s a good deal of humor (I liked the bit with the overlapping subtitles), and Sharlto Copley gives a great performance as several incarnations of the same man with different personalities and looks. The plot is completely shit, and gets a bit too bogged down with exposition at times, but it’s never too intrusive. I suppose the biggest concern there is with this movie is if you can handle the filming technique, because the constant movement of the camera, especially during the action scenes, can give you motion sickness. I got a headache and a bit of nausea while watching it, but it could have been from the McDonald’s I had just before seeing it, so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. I think that it works much better on a small screen instead of a movie theater either way, and even while on the verge of throwing up, I had a good deal of fun with “Hardcore Henry”. If you’ve ever used a VR headset while on meth, it should give you a good idea of the experience.

49. Hail, Caesar! – The Coen Brothers are my favorite filmmakers. So strong is their output that even their “bad” movies are good movies by any other standard. I don’t wish to imply that “Hail, Caesar!” is one of their “bad” ones, but it’s definitely on the lower end of their spectrum. The promotional material led me to believe that it would be a comic thriller about a 1950’s Hollywood fixer (a “problem solver” for studios) who teams up with a number of colorful showbiz people to rescue a kidnapped leading man. While the basic plot is there, the movie feels more like a leisurely series of vignettes about the colorful characters, loosely-connected by the fixer asking them for their help. It’s all amusing, colorful, and beautifully shot by eternal Oscars bridesmaid Roger Deakins, but it feels like it’s missing any sort of narrative thrust or stakes. The Coens don’t seem to be going for that sort of film, and it feels intentionally meandering and light, so the film is better if you go in expecting it. The writing is entertaining, but while the film is certainly hilarious in parts and never boring, some comedic bits feel stretched out for far too long (such as the scene with the religious leaders), which is unusual for the Coens.

The whole endeavor is less about plot and more about being a fun tribute-by-way-of-pisstake to Old Hollywood. It reminds me a bit of their earlier work “Barton Fink”, albeit broader, sillier, less existential, and much less cynical. We see old-fashioned editing rooms, grand movie sets, a wonderful musical number, Communism, etc. The Coen Brothers made a film that feels nostalgic towards a simpler era of filmmaking, while still acknowledging that even back then they made crap films. The biggest selling point in the movie is its’ all-star cast. I can’t remember the last time a movie had this many big-name actors attached to it. Sadly, due to the light nature of the story, a lot of them feel like glorified cameos, even if there isn’t a weak link among them. George Clooney is in top-form in the role of the kidnapped actor, the type of buffoon the Coens always seem to make him play. Channing Tatum is great as a tap-dancing musical star. Completely stealing the show is up-and-comer Aldren Ehrenreich, who plays a dopey but sweet cowboy actor, and who is so naturally funny, likable and charismatic here that I don’t have a single doubt about him becoming huge in the near future.

It just goes to show that even a lesser Coen Bros. film is still vastly better than the best work by most directors. While slow and kind of pointless overall, “Hail, Caesar!” is still a funny, gorgeous, and charming homage to the Hollywood Golden Age, one that rewards attention and repeated viewings, and welcomes them as well.

48. Finding Dory – Not on par with “WALL-E” or “Up”, but entertaining and nicely emotional. Feels like a welcome return to form for Pixar after so many years of disappointments. Bonus points for being the good kind of sequel, one that not only works on its own but actually adds new dimension to the original. Kind of disappointing, because before seeing the movie I was all ready to say “Finding Dory? More like FOUND IT BORING”. Nice message about family and taking care of a family member with special needs. Looking forward to “Finding Marlin”, where we see Marlin as an alcoholic going through a midlife crisis as he tries to singlehandedly raise a crippled son and his mentally handicapped friend.

47. Deadpool – One of my biggest pet peeves in movies is characters breaking the fourth-wall. I don’t mind a film being cheeky, but a movie occasionally pausing itself to acknowledge that it’s a movie annoys me to no end. I say this because “Deadpool” actually does fourth-wall breaking right, making it a key part of the humor and tone and story rather than an occasional “look at how clever and ironic we are” moment.

One would think because of this that “Deadpool” is just an endless series of self-referential jokes. It mostly is, but thankfully there’s an actual story, a bicycle for all the colorful tassels to hang on. Don’t get me wrong; the story is generic as hell. It’s still your typical superhero origin story, albeit one helped greatly by the nonlinear structure, alluding to Deadpool as an unreliable narrator. Also helping is a surprisingly engaging romance aspect, thanks to Ryan Reynolds’ and Morena Baccarin’s great chemistry and that the romance is a key part of the main character’s motivations (and that the girl feels like an actual character, not just a crowbarred-in love interest like almost every other comic book movie). One of the best scenes in the film is a montage of them “celebrating” various holidays.

Reynolds is perfectly cast as Wade Wilson, a role that his whole career since “Van Wilder” has been building towards. He effortlessly captures the character’s smarminess and gallows humor, but also makes him just likable enough to root for. Baccarin shows enough personality and comic timing that I certainly won’t mind seeing her having a bigger role in the sequel. The action sequences are the highlights. Tim Miller (in his directing debut) shows a clear aptitude for this, making the fight scenes bloody, funny, and visually creative, doing more with $60 million than most directors can do with $200 million.

Your enjoyment of “Deadpool” will come from whether you like its sense of humor. Given the sheer amount of jokes the film flings at the wall, a number of them are going to fall flat. However, to me a lot of them did land, and the movie is quite funny despite being a bit too in love with itself, and any comedy film that doesn’t give away its best jokes in the trailer (especially with a marketing campaign like this film had) is worthy of a recommendation in my eyes.

46. Blood Father – This is the best Liam Neeson movie that Liam Neeson never made. The action is tense and hard-hitting, the cast is good, and the movie is a very lean and efficient 88 minutes. However, there’s some distractingly bad editing at times, the plot is typical Liam Neeson fare (daughter is in trouble with criminals and seeks out her estranged ex-con dad to help out) and the dialogue is pretty wonky and overly reliant on swearing. Also, the girl is fairly annoying, but I suppose it suits her character so I won’t judge her too much for it. What makes the movie work is Mel Gibson’s performance. Looking increasingly like a shredded, captivity-era Saddam Hussein, Gibson is a volcano almost constantly on the verge of eruption. He plays a pissed-off man better than anyone, but he also showcases a good deal of humor and heart, able to convey more with his demeanor than most actors can with an entire monologue. Plus, watching him bite a guy’s ear off before head-butting him repeatedly is great fun. While Gibson is definitely better than the film’s B-movie material, he sells the hell out of it, elevating everything around him and making up for a lot of the movie’s flaws (you get the feeling it’d be much better if he directed it, as well). “Blood Father” is not quite the Mel Gibson renaissance-marking comeback I keep hoping for, but it’s good enough to recommend. Here’s hoping we don’t have to wait another few years to be reminded how great of an actor he is. Can’t quell the Mel.

45. The Brothers Grimsby (AKA Grimsby) - It’s been a while since we’ve gotten a comedy from Sacha Baron Cohen. His stuff other than “Borat” has gotten a mixed reception, but I’ve always felt that that as a comic he has excellent timing and creativity, and even when not doing his famous “interacting with real people while in character” routine, the guy knows how to put together a joke. In a comedy world filled increasingly with endless cameos and cringe-worthy improv humor, it’s relieving to see a comedian that can still write a solid gag and perform it well.

Cohen plays Nobby, a trashy but kind-hearted English football hooligan who lives in Grimsby, a town so squalid that on a sign it says that its sister city is Chernobyl. He’s spent decades searching for his long-lost younger brother Sebastian (played by Mark Strong), and upon finally finding him he discovers that Sebastian is a highly-trained secret agent who is involved in stopping an elaborate terror attack. Naturally, shenanigans ensue which results in the two brothers teaming together to save the world. The plot is basically “What if James Bond had a fuckup brother?”

Some of the humor is as gross-out as it can get, getting plenty of use out of genitals and bodily fluids (there’s one sequence involving elephants that I don’t think I’ll ever forget). Quite a bit of the humor is based around English class differences, which may go over the head of American audiences, but I quite enjoyed. And some is just tastelessness and over-the-top comedic violence. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but I found myself surprised at how much did. There’s a good deal of set-ups and payoffs to the jokes, which I found refreshing, like someone actually spent time to craft the comedy in this film. I’ll say that I laughed pretty often, and I was never less than amused. Strong and Cohen have excellent chemistry together, and the film is at its best when it focuses on the two and their exchanges, with Strong proving to be an excellent straight-man to Cohen’s ridiculousness. It even has a nice little subplot about the two brothers bonding and coming to terms with why they were initially separated that even pays off during the climax.

The movie is a little over 80-minutes and moves at such a fast pace that even if a certain gag doesn’t work, it quickly moves past it. The trade-off to this is that when a gag does work, it’s not given much time to play out. I full-heartedly believe that brevity is the soul of wit, and it’s not a huge issue, but I do wish some of the jokes had a bit of breathing space. Probably the movie’s biggest sin is completely wasting its supporting cast. Penelope Cruz, Isla Fisher, Rebel Wilson, and Ian McShane all feel like bit players who are there just for plot purposes. Maybe that was intentional, to play the film like a straight-faced James Bond film with Cohen there to single-handedly derail it, but why cast talented, well-known actors in such useless bit parts?

I still recommend the film for being genuinely, unapologetically funny, and while a lot of its jokes are in bad taste, they never feel mean-spirited or overly edgy. They come from Cohen’s desire to shock you into laughing, but it feels self-aware and innocent enough that you’re more amused and bewildered rather than offended. Still, if gags about AIDS, incest, bestiality, casual gun violence, lower-class scum, and things being shoved into asses don’t sit well with you, then “The Brothers Grimsby” is not the bland, PG-13, all-inclusive safe-space you want, you precious snowflake.

44. Operation Avalanche – Starts off slowly and ploddingly but before long, it overcomes its’ potentially-gimmicky premise and occasionally unconvincing façade to become a surprisingly engaging and creative foray into “historical” found-footage bolstered by writer/director/star Matt Johnson’s deft storytelling and clear passion for filmmaking, with an unexpectedly excellent car chase to boot.

43. Loving – Jeff Nichols’ “Loving” is an account of Richard and Mildred Loving, an interracial couple who were arrested and then exiled for being married in 1950’s Virginia, and whose case to return home eventually went all the way to the Supreme Court. Given the material and the convenient title, you’d think this was blatant Oscar-bait all the way through, but for the most part it’s not. Jeff Nichols’ empathetic direction and the strong, restrained performances by Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga as the two leads make this film feel human instead of exploitative. Nichols makes an interesting choice to keep the movie very personal and focused on the couple, with the broader Civil Rights Movement only briefly mentioned. I actually liked this approach as it makes you feel the pain and struggle and love of the characters first, and then by extension see how damaging prejudices (both institutional and personal) can be to people.

The film doesn’t completely escape Oscar-bait trappings, however. It still has the comedy-actor-playing-a-dramatic-role in the form of Nick Kroll as the ACLU lawyer assigned to the Lovings. He’s not bad or anything, but he feels a bit distracting and the role doesn’t amount to much. The music is fine, but it still has those corny inspirational cues at moments of triumph and perseverance, places where I think silence would have been much more effective. My biggest complaint is that it’s a Jeff Nichols movie and Michael Shannon is only in it for one scene. It's an important and good one, but you really wish he’d be in the movie more or maybe that’s just me because I LOVE MICHAEL SHANNON, HOLY SHIT. I've come to the conclusion that the quality of a Jeff Nichols film is often in direct proportion to how much Michael Shannon is in it (seriously, go see "Take Shelter" if you haven't already).

The best part of “Loving” is the two leads, who share a quiet but powerful chemistry, both of them reserved people whose love for each other you can feel in the littlest gestures and who don’t need any obvious histrionics or even words to show their feelings to the audience. It’s the solid core that makes the movie good, elegantly guided by Jeff Nichols’ confident and mature direction, even if the rest of it isn’t all that remarkable. Not quite a “Loving” for me, but eaily a “Liking”.

42. Deepwater Horizon - I’ve liked Peter Berg as a director ever since his underrated action-comedy “The Rundown”, starring The Rock back when he was still billed as “The Rock”. He shows an aptitude for action, pacing, and getting good performances out of his actors, but lately, he’s had a really bad case of hero worship. This, “Patriot’s Day” and “Lone Survivor” all have a frankly fetishistic view of real-life bravery, all ending in a text commending the bravery of those involved and including the names of victims, etc. This always felt like a cheap trick to me, one meant to elicit tears and nods of approval from middle-aged audience members who don’t go to the movies that often, rather than properly characterize his heroes. He gets around this somewhat by casting good actors who are likable enough that we care for them in spite of the weak writing and schlocky sense of patriotism. It all just feels weirdly exploitative of the real-life tragedies that the films depict.

As for the movie itself, it’s quite good. It starts with the prerequisite buildup on the Deepwater Horizon oil rig, showing negligence on the part of some of the management and the BP executives (read: strawmen), while showing the intelligence on display by the regular, blue-collar engineers and oil rig workers. I don’t deny that things were actually like this (truthfully, I don’t care enough to look it up), but it does feel pretty clichéd in movie form. Then the disaster hits, and there’s a solid 40-or-so minutes of the rig blowing up while the crew scramble to try to contain the situation and evacuate. This part is great. Berg’s technical skill is on full display, helping you follow the characters and what’s going on despite a lot of them speaking in mostly technical terms and the setting feeling like being trapped in a maze that’s on fire. It’s fantastically gripping, edge-of-your-seat stuff, helped by the theater-shaking sound design and convincing visual effects. The film ends with some tearful family reunions and heart-wrenching breakdowns when the survivors get back home. I’ll say that if I walked out of the film RIGHT after the screen faded to black, I would have a higher opinion about it.

If you like or at least don’t mind the hero-worship stuff, I’ll say that Deepwater Horizon is one of the year’s best-crafted thrillers, a disaster movie where the disaster actually feels scary and real as opposed to the dumb fun of something like “San Andreas”. I’m not against paying respects to the dead or to the bravery involved, but I think it should be done within the context of the film and the script, not forcing the audience to stay an extra five-minutes as some sort of memorial service that we paid money to attend.

41. Rams – This film is about a pair of Icelandic brothers who own neighboring sheep farms. They haven’t spoken to each other for 40 years due to implied but never explicitly-stated petty squabbles and stubborn jealousy, but are forced to work together to save their sheep when their flocks suffer from an outbreak of scrapie, a fatal degenerative disease that affects sheep and goats. This film is very affecting, low-key filmmaking, deftly handling heartbreaking drama, touching bonding, and even some surprisingly funny (albeit-bleak) comedy such as a scene where one character transports another to a hospital. It makes great use of the “show, don’t tell” filmmaking rule. Many scenes have little to no dialogue, but all serve a purpose in terms of plot or characterization or insight. The plot of sheep farmers trying to protect their flock may seem like a hard-to-relate-to storyline, but the film has universal themes of family and loss, and its observant and sympathetic storytelling makes the film accessible to anyone, even if they aren’t familiar with sheep mating procedures.

40. Kubo and the Two Strings - Laika has always been an overlooked animation studio, most known for making the wonderfully creepy “Coraline”, but finding little success in terms of box office even while their films are all quite good. Take “Kubo and the Two Strings”, a flawed but highly original and absolutely stunningly animated film that only managed to make a little over its production budget back, while “Zootopia” made over a billion dollars. Such is life.

The film itself is about a one-eyed boy named Kubo who is hunted by a vengeful demon and must team up with a magical monkey statue and a beetle-man to find some mystical MacGuffins that can help defeat it. It starts out very well, showing the boy’s daily routine of using his magic guitar and origami to tell stories to the local villagers. After shit goes inevitably down, it’s still quite compelling for a while, bringing a melancholy flavor to the boy’s journey and his interaction with his two companions. The problem is that the actual plot is pretty uninteresting, especially after the predictable late second-act plot twist, and while I can appreciate that the conflict resolution in the third act doesn’t just end by one character beating up another, the actual manner in which it’s resolved is pretty dumb.

The reason to see “Kubo and the Two Strings” is its gorgeous stop-motion animation. I had to smack my mouth a few times to remind myself that I wasn’t looking at high-quality CGI. It’s reassuring to learn that Laika is owned by the billionaire former CEO of Nike, so the studio isn’t exactly hurting for cash and can continue to focus on making their original and creative and beautiful movies without needing to dumb them down for most audiences, but it’s still a little depressing when good, accessible films fail to find their audience. While flawed (and nowhere near as good as “Coraline”), “Kubo and the Two Strings” is worth checking out if you love stop-motion animation as much as I do and you’re just waiting for the next Aardman film to come out.

39. April and the Extraordinary World - In an industry almost completely dominated by 3D CGI-animated films, it’s somewhat refreshing to come across a traditionally-animated 2D film. “April and the Extraordinary World” is a French film set in an alternate-history 1940’s where the world’s foremost scientists of the past several decades have gone missing, causing crucial technological innovation to not happen and for the world to continue relying on coal and eventually wood-burning steam power. In a world on the brink of war for resources, April is a young French woman whose parents are two of the missing scientists, and we follow her and her talking cat Darwin as they attempt to solve the mystery behind the disappearances.

I want to start off by mentioning the art style. The characters are the simple but expressive beady-eyed 2D people you’d expect from European animation, but the design of the bleak steampunk world and the technology is amazing. However, and this is what I really like about the film, while it shows how cool-looking steampunk technology can be, it also criticizes it for being completely retarded and impractical and damaging to both the environment and to people, cosplayers be damned (Europe is completely treeless and characters have to wear gas masks if they’re outdoors for too long). The characters (especially the talking cat) are spunky, entertaining, and even have their fair share of depth. The film carries a nice message about using science and optimism instead of violence and negativity to solve the world’s problems. This feels more like the film that “Tomorrowland” should have been, before it got Lindelof’d.

However, it does have kind of the same problem that “Tomorrowland” did, in that the third act gets pretty stupid. It’s certainly not as bad or as nonsensical as it was in that film, and while the plot twist and eventual revelation are actually built towards instead of just dumped on us, it does get rather silly and I sort of lost interest. Without spoiling too much, it does end up relying on that tiresome “in order to save humanity, we have to destroy it” sci-fi cliché that was dumb even back when “The Terminator” did it.

Still, on the whole, I was surprised by how much I liked “April and the Extraordinary World”. While it certainly loses some steam near the end (pun originally unintended), it’s still engaging and surprisingly entertaining enough for the duration of its running time to warrant a recommendation.

Note: If you can, see the French-dubbed version. The English voice actors are good, but the movie and lip-sync feel off by not being in their original language. For the record, this is the only time I’ll ever say that something (other than bread) is improved by being French.

38. Mascots – To me, a mark of a good comedy is if it makes me laugh a lot. By that criteria, Christopher Guest’s latest mockumentary about a professional mascot competition and its participants is a good comedy. There’s not much to say about this film if you’re familiar with Guest’s other improv-heavy comedy films, and structurally it’s very similar to “Best in Show”. It’s not as good as that gem, partly because it feels like a more manufactured scenario, a parody of a part of culture and a competition that doesn’t feel real in the first place (as opposed to the biting satire of the very real world of professional dog-shows), and partly because Fred Willard is only in this for like 5-10 minutes instead of 40-45. Guest regulars Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara’s absences are also felt.

Still, what I like about Guest’s style of comedy that I despise about the Judd Apatow/SNL style of improv is the timing. He knows how to edit his jokes and his characters to keep them funny, and he knows when to let a joke go, as opposed to letting it linger and rot. The fact that he doesn’t write screenplays or hold any rehearsals for himself and his cast pretty much means that he films them performing improv and leaves in whatever is funny. Despite the aforementioned absences, the cast here is still great (with standout performances by Parker Posey, Susan Yeagley, and the guy who fucks from “Silicon Valley”), the movie has plenty of laughs and a surprising amount of poignancy and sweetness, and some of the actual mascot routines in the latter half of the movie are both hilarious and even breathtaking, particularly one involving an expressionist modern-dance about feminism and art in an armadillo costume.

37. The Accountant - One of the most entertainingly uneven films I’ve seen in a long time, “The Accountant” tries to be a character study, a corporate thriller, an operator-style action film, a family drama, a quirky comedy, a PSA about autism, and it even flirts with being an odd-couple romance. It never really comes together in the traditional sense, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a blast watching it try.

The plot is about an autistic accountant who in his secret-life uncooks finances for some of the world’s most dangerous people, and how a seemingly simple assignment in auditing a robotics firm becomes dangerous and blah-blah-blah. This movie has far too much plot and little of it is worth caring about. Where it works surprisingly well is in the character study of the main character, Christian Wolff (who sounds like a name belonging to a character in a cheap erotic novel you can find in airport shops). You see his upbringing, the circumstances that led him to his current career, and his routines in trying to deal with life with high-functioning autism. I (cheekily) said from the start that Ben Affleck is perfect casting for an ass-kicking autist but he’s actually, genuinely, unironically good in a committed and fleshed-out performance that wouldn’t feel out of place in a more serious movie about adults with autism.

In trying to do the other aspects, however, the movie kind of falls apart. The first act is a mostly straightforward setup that you could be forgiven for thinking that it won’t even be a thriller. Wolff’s awkward bluntness around neuro-typicals is played for mild chuckles, because of course it is. Only at the end of it do we see that he’s a badass operator once he’s betrayed and people try to kill him. The second act where a government agent played by J.K. Simmons gives us a 10-minute exposition dump is pretty dull. There’s a hint of some romance between Wolff and a young accountant whose life he saved played by Anna Kendrick, but thankfully it’s never fully realized (“Gosh, I find your lack of social development and the way you cleanly killed the men who attacked me soooo sexy.”)

It’s only in the third act where he goes out to get the people who are after him where the movie becomes a wonderful nirvana of schlock, the “John Wick meets Rain Man” asploitation I hoped it would be. I’m not going to spoil too much, but it has the two funniest plot twists of any film this year, a solid 5 minutes where a caretaker at a home for autistic children gives a PSA about caring for people with disabilities, and a hilarious and completely unnecessary villainous monologue for the ages, courtesy of a paycheck-loving John Lithgow. My only complaint at that point were that there were no accounting-related one-liners in the film, including but not limited to:

- I just depreciated YOUR LIFE

- Don't write me off as a loss just yet

- They must be held accountable

- She's becoming a liability

- He's likes torturing people. He's accrual man

- A character named General Ledger

I don’t know. I chose a dull major, alright?

36. Moonlight – Clichéd dialogue and an annoying tendency to skip over some important/interesting events in the main character’s life, but empathetic performances, a great cast, and a good understanding and balance of the movie’s story and its’ theme of identity. I’m a bit of a tough nut to crack, emotionally speaking, so I feel like the subtle approach from this movie didn’t affect me as much as it did the many people who hail this film as the Second Coming of Christ.

35. Kill Zone 2 – Insane, jaw-dropping, balls-to-the-wall fight scenes that are too often hampered or outright interrupted by that silly and intrusive “plot” nonsense that unfortunately characterizes most post-Jackie Hong Kong kung-fu films. Still, any film that has Tony Jaa doing a flying double knee through a bus windshield and into the driver gets a recommendation from me.

34. Anthropoid – “War is not romantic”.

I’ve always held a soft spot for well-made genre films, and “Anthropoid”, a World War II thriller that, despite a title and poster that look like they belong to some sci-fi horror movie, is certainly that. “Anthropoid” is about a historical real-life mission by the Czech Resistance to assassinate a high-ranking Nazi official in occupied Prague. What I like about this movie is how solemn it is. None of the good guys are clear-eyed heroes who live happily ever after. These are anxious, grimly-professional saboteurs. Most of the resistance members question over whether killing one man is worth the possible consequences it would bring to the Czech people, while the two leads soldier on, determined to follow their orders. Cillian Murphy and the guy from “50 Shades of Grey” (Jamie Dornan) make for a likable pair of leads, and the characters feel human instead of movie-ish. Even during their romances with two local Prague women, it feels less like forced Hollywood trite and more like people trying to comfort each other in a hopelessly bleak environment.

The movie starts slow, but builds well to the more thrilling stuff. Interestingly (minor spoiler), the assassination attempt only occurs halfway through the movie, with the second half being the fallout and repercussions. A more generic movie would have ended with the assassination, before including text commending the bravery of the Czech Resistance and how their mission was successful, but “Anthropoid” instead shows and talks about the horrible things the Nazis did in retaliation, including killing thousands of Czech civilians, before showing what happens to the Resistance members involved in the assassination. I won’t ruin it, but the last half-hour of the movie is pretty devastating stuff.

There’s nothing particularly wrong with Anthropoid, as long as you don’t mind the slow build. It doesn’t really strive for greatness or deep meaning in any way. It’s just a well-made, well-acted, tense, bleak, and morally grey look at an important event in World War II and how it (and war in general) affects people. Bonus points for the cast actually making an effort to speak with Czech accents, instead of the usual historical non-British movie done entirely with British accents.

33. The Siege of Jadotville – Hey, speaking of solid genre flicks starring Jamie Dornan! I love a good war film, so when I heard that when Netflix produced one set during the Congo Crisis of the 1960’s, a refreshing change from the usual “popular” wars like WWII, ‘Nam, and Iraq/Afghanistan, my ears perked up. The plot is about an Irish company of UN peacekeepers who are sent to the tiny town of Jadotville in the resource-rich Congo during a period of upheaval and civil war. Murky politics and other UN operations in the area make things worse, and in retaliation the rebel government and French/Belgian mercenaries send a massive force to attack the isolated Irish troops.

There’s about 40 minutes of setup, in which we see the soldiers (led by Dornan), most of them still teenagers, at home before they get shipped off, we get a broad overview of the political climate in the Congo, including the coup leader and the UN representative sent to assist the central government (played by a shitty hairpiece with a Mark Strong attached to it), as well as the situation that led to tits going up for the peacekeepers. The remaining hour of the movie is the titular week-long siege, with the Irish defending a tactically disadvantaged position with limited food, ammo, and water against a very numerically superior enemy.

All of this is very well-crafted, with good pacing and editing, especially during the battle scenes, which are tense, harrowing, and filmed in a way that you actually get a solid idea of the geography of the siege. History, and even the movie at one point, both say that there were 150 UN troops at Jadotville, but it never seems like there's more than a few dozens of them. It's not a huge issue, but a little distracting.

The characters are pretty thin, with only a handful of the soldiers actually having names, and the writing is nothing special. It’s efficient in the sense that it gets the necessary information across and doesn’t intrude on the story, but it does have the usual clichés you see in a war film. The soldiers are portrayed as brave, noble, and heroic, while the UN leaders and generals are shown as callous, selfish, and incompetent. After some reading into the history, I found that this is not untrue, but it still feels like a conventional audience-pleasing dynamic. To the film’s credit however, it does a nice job of showing how morally grey the conflict was, without really claiming moral superiority for either side, but still makes you care for the UN soldiers at the heart of it. Even the trademark ending text is done tastefully and respectfully.

If you want a compelling, well-crafted war film and have a Netflix subscription, then “The Siege of Jadotville” is worth checking out. Between this and “Anthropoid”, Jamie Dornan has proven himself a capable (and wonderfully mustached) leading man, and in my eyes has done a good job getting his reputation back to “respectable” after “Fifty Shades of Grey” and...oh, there's two sequels to it coming out? Well, here's hoping for more good war films from the lad afterwards.

32. Doctor Strange – Same-old shit from Marvel, in terms of writing and story, but at least contains enough beautiful visuals and creativity to take away a good deal of the staleness. Bonus points for having a climax that is the exact opposite of a typical superhero destruction-fest.

31. The Magnificent Seven – At a film festival like TIFF, which is mainly meant for foreign, independent, arthouse films and prestige pictures, “The Magnificent Seven”, a remake of John Sturges’ 1960 original and an unapologetic, old-fashioned Western, stands out. As a genre-film aficionado, that appealed to me enough that I saw this movie even though it would come out in theaters a few weeks later.

And I’m glad I did. “The Magnificent Seven” is just plain, loud, over-the-top fun. If you see the trailer, the movie is exactly what you think it’ll be like. A woman seeks frontier justice against the power-hungry coal baron who terrorizes her town and murdered her husband, and pays a bounty hunter (Denzel Washington, who looks like he was born to play a cowboy in this movie) to go after him. He recruits 6 more outlaws, killers, and warriors to aid him in his quest to protect the honest townsfolk from the evil businessman and his army. Whiskey is drunk, guns are drawn, banter is exchanged, and lots of people get shot and blown up. Antoine Fuqua (an expert in making solid genre flicks) keeps the movie paced well, gives the characters breathing space to flesh out a bit, and makes the action loud, exciting, and well-filmed. No shaky-cam bullshit here, just good, efficient filmmaking with lots of nice Western vistas.

The cast is strong, especially Washington and Chris Pratt (who I worried would be out of place but acquits himself well here), along with solid supporting players. The writing is nothing special, but gets the job done, although there are some unfortunate missed opportunities at character development and payoffs, especially when it comes to Ethan Hawke’s (fabulously named) Goodnight Robicheaux, a former Confederate sharpshooter who hung up his guns. Also, a minor issue, but the film severely overplays how effective a mid-19th century gatling gun is.

There’s nothing altogether remarkable about this remake from a quality standpoint, but in a year filled with failed reboots and sequels and unremarkable superhero films, a good, solid personality-filled Western shoot-em-up about a multicultural team of badasses teaming up against the evil establishment is more than a welcome breath of fresh air.

30. Everybody Wants Some!! - Richard Linklater’s spiritual sequel to “Dazed and Confused” feels very much like a Richard Linklater film. There’s not much plot; it’s just about a college freshman baseball player and his team’s escapades over the weekend before the semester starts in the fall of 1980, as they hang out, go party, try to get laid, and attend their first practice. There’s no real structure to this film. It’s meandering in typical Linklater fashion, where the movie is more about the characters, the setting, and the dialogue. If you don’t mind this sort of thing, “Everybody Wants Some!!” is a very enjoyable movie. The characters and performances are on point, the banter is entertaining, the music is great (used especially well during a scene where the characters drive around town singing “Rapper’s Delight”) and even when Linklater waxes philosophical as he sometimes tends to, it feels less pretentious and more like the characters being themselves. When they talk about life, man, they’re often drunk or high or sleep-deprived, which feels like a nice bit of self-awareness from Linklataer. It even gets a bit inspirational at times, as the themes of finding out your identity and place in life and making the most of your short time on this Earth hits home surprisingly well. Funny, charming, and likable in every way that “Boyhood” wasn’t, “Everybody Wants Some!!” marks a welcome return to form for Richard Linklater, which is amazing considering it didn’t even take TWELVE YEARS to make.

29. Love & Friendship – Not being a big fan of hoity-toity costume dramas and having never read any of Jane Austen’s work, I really didn’t think this Austen adaptation would appeal to me. However, following the initial 10-15 minutes where my brain adjusted to the Regency-era English, I found that I really enjoyed this film. It’s a comedy of manners centered on a widowed socialite (played by the never-better Kate Beckinsale), a cunning and manipulative woman who is well-known as the best flirt in London, and her attempts to get her daughter married to a wealthy suitor as she herself juggles those in her social circles. I found myself loving the barbed interplay between well-written characters. The cast is uniformly excellent, with a strong performance by Beckinsale and a show-stealing turn from Tom Bennett as a wealthy but utterly gormless suitor, the kind of man who keeps talking even when he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and who is completely enchanted by the “tiny green balls” at dinner (peas). The whole movie is kind of plotless, with very little narrative drive and it feels like important character developments are often skimmed over (two characters have a pleasant conversation in one scene and are married like, 5 minutes later). The whole movie feels very light, albeit very watchable. Watch it for the excellent cast, the lovely sets and costumes, and for the genuinely hilarious writing, but don’t expect to be all that invested in what happens. The whole thing feels like a dinner party with much wittier and politer versions of your extended family, albeit just as catty and spiteful.

28. Captain America: Civil War - By now most people have acknowledged the problems with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While most are solid superhero flicks, they all feel kind of safe and sterile, films marked-tested to appeal to as large an audience as possible. While this leaves less room for error, it also limits how good they can become. If all you want is good actors wearing ridiculous costumes punching each other and destroy expensive CGI environments while mumbling groan-worthy quips, the MCU has got you covered. Those of us who want them to approach something like Raimi’s Spider-Man films or Nolan’s first two Batman films are often left wanting. Sometimes it has gotten better than the norm. The first half of “Captain America: The First Avenger” was excellent before it became kind of a rushed mess in the second. Shane Black’s “Iron Man 3” felt like the only genuinely auteur-driven film in the whole MCU (if only because so much of the humor is based on what Black and Downey Jr. accomplished in “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”). “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” is still the high point of the MCU, a terrific and surprisingly character-driven action thriller that barely felt like a superhero flick. The point I’m laboriously trying to get to is that while “Civil War” for the most part takes itself seriously and actually approaches “Winter Soldier” levels of greatness, it can’t help but fall back on the lame, quippy, fanboy-masturbating sameness that has defined this cinematic universe since Joss Whedon first got involved with the franchise.

The plot is that a mysterious man frames Captain America’s friend Bucky for a terrorist attack, while Tony Stark feels guilty about collateral damage caused by the Avengers’ various battles and wants to sign some UN accord to make the Avengers government regulated, and tries to hunt Cap down when he goes rogue to try and protect Bucky. It’s pretty convoluted stuff if you’re not already caught up on the franchise, but not too difficult to follow. My main concern going into this film was that it’d be more of an “Avengers” film than a “Captain America” film. Cap’s films have a good track record, while the two Avengers movies are kinda crap. Thankfully, the heavy focus is on Cap and his efforts to protect Bucky from an increasingly hostile and angry Tony Stark. Despite what the marketing tries to say, the whole UN accord business feels minor at best, only there for a #WhoseSideAreYouOn hashtag to appease the autists who want their precious comic-book to be faithfully adapted. The story is surprisingly engaging, and while the aforementioned mysterious man is the real villain and does an effective job, the role of antagonist is actually filled really well by Iron Man. The characters are given enough room that pretty much everyone in the ensemble gets a moment to shine, the pacing is good, and (despite the Russo Brothers’ annoying use of shaky-cam and fast editing) the action scenes are solid and actually serve a purpose. It was almost a great “Captain America” film. And then Spider-Man shows up.

Spider-Man was added to this film halfway through filming due to Marvel striking a deal with Sony Pictures for the rights to the character, and his crowbarring into the movie is really obvious. There’s a whole half-hour of the movie that he’s in, where from introduction to the big punch-up at the airport to his exit, it feels like a completely different film, filled with the aforementioned light-hearted quippy humor that pretty much completely dissolves all tension, momentum, and conflict that movie had done a pretty good job building up to that point. It’s not bad in and of itself, but it feels like it suddenly became an “Avengers” movie, a big-budget re-enactment of a 10-year-old boy playing with his action figures. The only reason I don’t despise this part of the movie is because it at least has a few genuinely funny moments (most of them courtesy of Paul Rudd’s Ant-Man). The film recovers fairly well from this, and actually serves up a strong and pretty emotional climax that isn’t just wanton CGI destruction, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth, like I was bukkake’d by neo-nerd hipsters while sleeping and managed to clean myself off but the stains on my soul remained.

Look, I’ve said a bunch of negative (and some disgusting) things about this movie and the MCU in general, but “Civil War” is overall a good movie. The character work is strong, it’s occasionally funny, the cast is mostly terrific, and it’s definitely in the upper-echelon of this franchise. But the things that hold this series back (the sameness, the dull visuals, the lack of stakes, circlejerking, etc.) hold this movie back as well. Who knows? Once they’re done with this phase of the MCU, they can actually start to experiment and not just make the same kind of movie over and over, because let’s face it; people will come see these anyway. Hell, give me a She-Hulk movie directed by David Lynch, or a blaxploitation-style origin story about Nick Fury starring Michael Jai White, or a musical romantic-comedy about Squirrel Girl directed by George Miller. I don’t know. I’d rather see any of those than ANOTHER GODDAMN SPIDER-MAN REBOOT.

27. Train to Busan – Pretty much what you’d expect, plot and character-wise, from a zombie movie, but damned if South Korea doesn’t possess some of the finest film directors in the world, and Yeon Sang-Ho brings his A-game to revitalize an appropriately undead genre. Great cast, intense and creative set-pieces, and a nicely emotional focus on character. I’m not Korean, so I’m not sure if there’s any satire or message involved (the film does seem like a pretty accurate depiction of South Korea when StarCraft II servers go down). Somewhat dragged down by iffy CGI and the hair-pulling stupidity and dickheadedness of main human antagonist, who makes “The Walking Dead” Season 2-era Shane seem like a rational and believable fellow.

26. Fences – Little more than a filmed play, but a well-filmed one bolstered by good writing and knockout performances from Denzel Washington and Viola Davis. About 20 minutes too long.

25. Arrival - Canadian director Denis Villeneuve has been making quite the reputation for himself in recent years for his mature and well-crafted thrillers. While I find his movies just a touch overrated, I do admire a lot in them, from the technical craft to his ability to command strong performances out of all of his actors. This year’s “Arrival” continues that trend, marking his most mature film to date and one of the extremely rare mainstream hard science-fiction movies to come out these days. This is not a movie about laser battles and space explosions and sticking your tongue down the throats of hot human-looking alien babes (I’m excited for “Mass Effect: Andromeda”, alright?), but about communication.

Several banana-shaped alien spacecraft touch down at random points around the earth without any apparent motive or pattern, and countries around the globe bring experts together to try and communicate with them. The plot centers around linguistics professor Amy Adams, who is brought in by the military along with a physicist played by Jeremy Renner to head into the alien craft in America to try and set up communications with the aliens. It’s a neat perspective to see one of these alien contact movies from someone trying to understand them rather than fight them, and Amy Adams turns in another strong performance as a woman who is experiencing a personal crisis while being at the very center of a worldwide phenomenon. The rest of the cast is good too, but this is her movie to command, and she does so with ease.

While Villeneuve no longer has Roger Deakins as director of photography to rely on, he and his new DP Bradford Young make this a very strikingly beautiful movie, filled with bleak subdued colors but with an astonishing sense of scale. The scene where Amy Adams enters the alien craft for the first time is outstanding, with the camera work, lighting, and environment doing a genuinely amazing job conveying how…well, alien the ship feels. I also like the design of the aliens themselves (a sort-of cross between the facehuggers from “Alien” and the Reapers from “Mass Effect”), a refreshing change from the humanoid aliens you typically see in sci-fi.

The plot is surprisingly brainy, primarily concerned with the process of establishing of communication and later a very different perception of time and choice from how we typically perceive them. It’s not too difficult to wrap your head around this stuff, but you do have to pay attention, because this isn’t a movie that dumbs itself down or holds your hand.

As much as I admire and enjoyed the movie, I do have a criticism, and it’s that the whole thing feels…cold. I don’t just mean the color palette or the really strong air conditioning in the theater where I watched it. I mean emotionally cold. I’ve heard a lot of people praise how emotional the film is, but it didn’t really affect me all that much. Even the scenes with Amy Adams and her daughter, no matter how Malick-y they’re shot, felt mostly like salad dressing to try and make the audience connect with the main character. Even when you (no-spoiler) find out the plot significance of these scenes, I liked it much more on an intellectual level than on a gut-level. Also, and this part is hard to explain without spoilers, but there’s a love story that’s pretty crucial to the theoretical concepts later in the film that feels comically underdeveloped, like we’re supposed to believe these people fall in love despite working with each other for a few days and rarely talking about anything other than work (and because they’re attractive movie stars, of course). Plus, there are quite a few annoyingly clichéd characters, like the fear-mongering radio talk show host, the weary and no-nonsense military man, and a Chinese officer named General Shang who apparently rules the entire country of China without answering to anybody.

Despite these niggles, I still liked “Arrival” a lot. It attempts (and in my mind strongly succeeds) to present a realistic scenario of what alien contact would be like in today’s political and cultural climate, and again, it’s really refreshing to see a science-fiction film where science, communication and peace are used for conflict resolution as opposed to violence. It’s really ambitious on both a thematic level and a technical one (the special effects in this movie are some of the most seamless and believable I’ve ever seen), and even the problems I have with the writing don’t distract from Denis Villeneuve’s directorial talent. Here’s hoping he doesn’t screw up the new “Blade Runner”.

24. Shin Godzilla – Lacks the awe-inspiring visuals and sense of scale of Gareth Edwards’ “Godzilla” (which I forgive because this had like 1/10th the budget), but makes up for it with a richer story and sense of humanity. Whereas that film is about our powerlessness at the hands of giant monsters, this one is more about working together to overcome it. What begins as a bureaucratic farce eventually gives way to the Japanese government putting aside any squabbles and politics to focus on saving the lives of its citizens from a giant, rampaging lizard. It’s kind of inspiring to see a movie like this where a government tries to prevent destruction instead of causing it (with a not-so-subtle pisstake of the Americans, whose contribution to the efforts amounts to little more than bombing and almost nuking Tokyo). Plus, Godzilla himself is awesome here, looking and acting like a genuine monster, and pulled off with a nice mix of practical and digital effects (other than his initial form where he looks like a retarded CGI iguana with googly eyes). Kickass soundtrack, as well.

23. War on Everyone – “I’ve always wondered; if you hit a mime (with a car), does he make a sound?” Michael Peña’s character wonders out loud at the start of the movie, right before he and his partner (and driver) find out. Within one minute of the movie, you already know if it’s for you or not. “War on Everyone” is about two cops (Peña and Alexander Skarsgård) who are as corrupt as they come. They regularly blackmail and beat up suspects, take bribes, and drink on the job. They never really try to justify this behavior. Their attitude can be best summed up by a line Skarsgård says before getting into the driver’s seat of a car while piss-drunk; “Let’s go fuck some scumbags.” There’s some plot about their investigation into a robbery/murder orchestrated by the guy from those shitty “Divergent” movies who looks like discount-Toby Kebbell, but the plot feels like an afterthought. It’s more so about the two characters and their antics and their musings on life, greatly enlivened by the excellent performances and chemistry of the two leads, as well as the cracking, pitch-black funny script from writer/director John Michael McDonagh (who also made the fantastic Irish gems “Calvary” and “The Guard”). This feels like if McDonagh made a Shane Black film. It’s not a powerful meditation on faith and morality like “Calvary” and it’s not a great character-study like “The Guard”, but “War on Everyone” shows that even a lower-tier McDonagh film is still as hilarious and biting as they come, and it even comes with a bit of heart and soul. Still, definitely not recommended to the easily-offended. It feels kind of pointless, but I could listen to McDonagh characters talk shit to each other all day.

22. 10 Cloverfield Lane - I will try to be as spoiler-free as possible in this review. Honestly, if you STILL haven’t seen it and want to, just go watch it and know that it definitely comes recommended.

I’ll admit it; even though I wasn’t a huge fan of the shaky-cam monster-athon that was “Cloverfield”, the mysterious and vague trailer for “10 Cloverfield Lane” got me properly hyped up as I tried to figure out the connection between the two movies. In an unusual twist, most of the movie is only tangentially a work of science-fiction. The plot is about a young woman named Michelle who runs away from home as some vague disaster occurs. She’s knocked out, and wakes up in an underground survival shelter run by a paranoid survivalist named Howard, along with a young guy named Emmett. Howard says that there has been a massive attack, but Michelle is skeptical and is unsure if Howard is trustworthy or crazy.

The bulk of the film is in the bunker, as the trio try to cope with the various realities of living in a survival shelter, including each other. This entire section is excellent. Deftly alternating between lighthearted bonding, uncomfortable comedy, and pressure-cooker intensity, debut director Dan Trachtenberg shows he is an expert when it comes to tone, pacing, and atmosphere, further enlivened by Bear McCreary’s terrific score. Even better is the main trio of actors, all of whom play off of each other well and really flesh out their characters. The guy who plays Emmett displays a dopey likability that suits the character well, while Mary Elizabeth Winstead makes Michelle much more intelligent, tough and compelling than your average "horror" protagonist (I use that term broadly). Powerfully commanding the whole movie is John Goodman, who easily makes Howard sympathetic at times and genuinely terrifying at others. This is a brilliantly batshit performance by one of our very best character actors, and even if the rest of the production wasn’t up to par (which it definitely is), he alone would make this film worth watching.

The reason this movie isn’t higher on my list is because of the last 10-or-so minutes. Without going into detail (and the trailer gives this away anyway), Michelle leaves the bunker by the end. It’s like the entire film gets wrapped up and ends satisfyingly, but then it goes on for another 10 minutes that feels like a completely different movie with a whiplash-inducing change in tone. It’s all still skillfully made and well-acted, but the effect just feels bizarre if you’re watching it for the first time. At first I thought the sequence was there to connect it to the first “Cloverfield” and make it a semi-sequel, but it’s too vague for me to buy it.

Maybe it is all some continuous “Cloverfield” universe, or better yet, it’s an anthology film series in the vain of “The Twilight Zone” or “Black Mirror”, one where talented up-and-coming directors make unique sci-fi thrillers. If that’s the case, it’s best not to read too much into the ending, and to just try and accept the movie as a standalone despite the jarring tonal shift at the end. One thing I actually quite liked about the ending is that it satisfyingly concludes Michelle’s character arc, making her a surprisingly well-developed protagonist that has actually grown by the end. Maybe if I watch this again (and I do plan to), I’ll like it more and probably give it a higher spot on the list, but even on a first impression, “10 Cloverfield Lane” is an engaging and balls-tighteningly tense thriller with a top-notch cast and production working at the top of their game. John Goodman is so good, man.

21. London Has Fallen – Holy hell, where do I even begin? Rare is the movie where I honestly cannot tell if it’s trying to be a comedy or not. It has a serious post-9/11 depiction of terrorism, but it treats all the bad guys like cannon fodder to be disposed of in spectacular ways. It has some lines about the consequences of U.S. foreign policy in the Middle East, but these lines are throwaway at best and never brought up again. It tries to somewhat humanize its villains, but it also has Gerard Butler executing a wheel-chair bound terrorist before going on a tirade about how they’ll never win and that America will still be standing in a thousand years (not sure if the Third Reich comparison is intentional).

The action scenes are competently shot/staged, if unremarkable (despite a fun CGI-assisted long-take shootout). The script feels like it was either written in a weekend or improvised on the spot by Butler and company. In fact, I feel like this wasn’t originally written as a sequel to “Olympus Has Fallen”. None of the previous movie’s events are referenced, and all the recurring cast members (save for Butler and Aaron Eckhart) feel like glorified crowbarred-in cameos. It’s absurd to have a White House cabinet of Oscar winners/nominees and give them all a collective 5 minutes of screen-time. I’m pretty sure Oscar-winner Melissa Leo doesn’t even have any lines. I’m sure the paycheck was nice, at least. The first 15 minutes or so are fairly boring, even if things pick up considerably afterwards.

The one indisputable quality this movie has is Gerard Butler. Butler gives a genuinely jaw-dropping performance as bloodthirsty and very likely insane Secret Service agent Mike Banning (our hero, naturally). Mike Banning is the type of guy who reacts to getting shot in the shoulder and the birth of his child with roughly the same facial expression. Mike Banning is the type of guy who despite being very proficient with and usually having convenient access to firearms, frequently elects to brutally stab the bad guys numerous times with a combat knife. (“Was that really necessary?” President Aaron Eckhart asks after Banning slowly stabs a terrorist in the ribs to death while making his brother listen via walkie-talkie. “No”, Banning bluntly admits.) Even from the peaceful initial scenes of him accompanying the President on a jog or talking to his wife, you can tell something is very off about him. We as the audience are of course expecting/awaiting shit to hit the fan, but Butler is nearly trembling with anticipation to start murdering terrorists during these scenes. Butler makes almost every bit of dialogue sound like a badass one-liner, on one occasion offering the President a glass of water while saying “I don’t know about you, but I’m thirsty as fuck”, spewing the word “fuck” out of the side of his mouth like a shotgun blast. Even on the off-chance that the movie isn’t taking the piss, Butler most definitely is. I’m not being ironic when I say that this is one of the great comic performances of our time, and the success of the movie (for me) is due to the movie being centered around Butler and his hilariously absurd machoism.

The director of this movie is an Iranian who escaped his war-torn home to Sweden as a boy. This, coupled with Butler’s performance, Butler and Eckhart’s borderline-homoerotic bromance, the ridiculous one-liners and speeches, and an indefensibly heroic portrayal of drone-warfare, makes me feel like “London Has Fallen” is really one big satire of U.S. foreign policy subtly disguised as a stupid, offensive action movie, something conservative idiots will applaud, liberal idiots will condemn, and fun, smart, attractive people will appreciate and enjoy for what it is. I saw this and “Gods of Egypt” with a few friends as a sort of once-in-a-lifetime Gerard Butler double-feature, and I had a grand time.

I felt like I could smell this movie, and I like that. Watching “London Has Fallen” is like sex; You wouldn’t want someone walking in on you during, and you’ll probably want to take a shower afterwards, but once you get past the initial foreplay, it’s a great time from start to raucous, bloody finish.

Wow, that metaphor got gross in a hurry.

20. The Witch – I put off watching “The Witch” because every time in the past few years that people heralded the newest “great, modern horror film” (It Follows, The Babadook, etc.), I found them to be massively overrated and even a bit disappointing, even despite their good qualities. After finally seeing it, I can safely say that it’s definitely one of the best horror films in years (which isn’t saying much, but still).

The story is of an early 17th century Puritan family who get exiled from their village and set up a farm in an isolated area near the woods. Strange supernatural things start happening to them, and the movie becomes the gradual degradation of their mental states, as they start to blame and fight amongst each other, not unlike my beloved “The Thing”.

This is a very atmospheric, slow-burning kind of horror. The emphasis is on creeping dread rather than murdering attractive 20-something teenagers. For a first-time filmmaker, director Robert Eggers shows an excellent grasp of pacing, tone, and visual storytelling. Once you get used to the historical Ye Olde English manner in which the characters speak (subtitles are recommended), the writing is surprisingly quite good, with well-defined characters with clear conflicts and motivations. The acting ensemble is terrific. The whole movie is pretty much just two parents, a teenage daughter, an adolescent boy, and two young children, and they are all fantastic. Seriously, as someone who despises children (both in real life and in film), this is some of the best child-acting I’ve ever seen.

My problem with the movie is that (and this is kind of a spoiler, but it happens early in the film) I was hoping that it wouldn’t be clear whether or not the supernatural stuff is actually happening, or if the family is just losing their minds because of some clever metaphor or allegory. But no, it’s revealed pretty early on that it is actually supernatural stuff, which takes away some of the surprise and the suspense. The music is the kind of discordant “unnerving” string-heavy stuff you’d expect in a horror movie, and I often felt that silence would be much more effective during the scenes it’s used in. Also, without giving away anything, the ending is pretty silly. It wraps up the story and the character arc of the lead character (the teenage daughter), but the manner in which it does it felt kind of over-the-top. You know what, though? I honestly thought we would get some shitty, cop-out, cut-to-black ending 5 minutes earlier, so it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll take a retarded ending over a non-ending any day of the week.

“The Witch” is a horror movie for those who don’t like horror movies, and one that treats its audience with intelligence and respect, and (the last few minutes notwithstanding) is actually satisfying and builds well to its climax. As someone who doesn’t care much for horror movies, I would say that “The Witch” lives up to the hype, and is well-worth checking out. Also, best (and surprisingly similar) use of a goat since Sam Raimi’s “Drag Me to Hell”.

19. Nocturnal Animals – A problem a lot of movies have for me in particular is when they’re tonally or stylistically inconsistent, feeling like two separate movies at odds with each other. Tom Ford’s “Nocturnal Animals” is a rare example of a movie with strikingly different stories complementing each other and actually improving the end product. The film is about a LA art exhibitor played by Amy Adams, who has an unhappy personal life despite her successful professional life. One day, her long-estranged ex-husband sends her a copy of his upcoming novel, a violent thriller about a family man terrorized by hillbillies in West Texas. The movie cuts between the novel’s story, Adams’ current life, and her past relationship with the ex-husband.

Tom Ford showed with his debut “A Serious Man” that he was great at filming and telling a story about people in rich houses being sad, as he does here, but also displays an uncanny talent at filming a gritty desert-set revenge tale. The parallels between the real life story and the novel are very finely drawn, and while I found the novel sections much more gripping than the Amy Adams story, the seemingly-disparate styles and tones never clash and instead fit really well with each other, creating a movie that is more than the sum of its parts. For a fashion designer, it’s surprising how good of a writer and director Tom Ford is, and he shows that “A Single Man” wasn’t just beginner’s luck.

Also helping the movie is the fantastic cast. Jake Gyllenhaal gives one of his best performances as both the ex-husband and the protagonist of the novel story, and Amy Adams shows incredible nuance and subtlety, reminding us why she is one of the best actresses working today. Michael Shannon steals the show for me (yes, I love him and I’m biased, shut up) as a shady detective in the novel’s story. All the supporting players are great as well, even if their roles aren’t as meaty.

My main complaints are that the dialogue is sometimes silly, some of the supporting characters are pretty one-dimensional and cartoonish (Amy Adam’s current-day husband played by Armie Hammer is a distant businessman who has to go away to New York to “make that very important sale”), and that the editing is a little wonky and overdone at some minor points. I initially had mixed-feelings about the ending, feeling that it was a bit anticlimactic and expected more to happen, but after thinking about it and how it ties to the movie’s themes and character relationships, I like it a lot more in retrospect. Unlike the movie, I can’t think of a good way to wrap this review up, but I’ll say that “Nocturnal Animals” is engaging, unique, and worth checking out, so let’s move on.

18. The Wailing – Its imposing length and frustrating lack of resolution/clarity can be hard to overcome for some people, but this South Korean supernatural horror flick is (in terms of acting, writing, directing, pacing, editing, themes, and just plain scariness and dread) the best and most effective horror film in quite a while. Like a bloodier and more emotionally tormenting version of “The Witch”.

17. La La Land – Before some of you call for my beheading for placing “La La Land” this “low” on my list, let me begin by saying that I still enjoyed the damn thing. From a purely technical perspective, “La La Land” is hands-down one of the best films of the year. Damien Chazelle’s immaculate direction perfectly captures the nostalgic sense one gets from watching old Hollywood musicals. This, coupled with terrific musical numbers and game actors makes “La La Land” an easy movie to enjoy. The story, however, is where the movie is a bit shaky.

The plot is about a down-on-their-luck aspiring actress and jazz pianist who fall in love while pursuing their dreams, and struggle to deal with the reality of keeping their relationship together while their paths go in different directions. The movie goes for a contrast between a magical, cheery Hollywood musical and a more grounded, dramatic approach, but for most of the movie it doesn’t quite gel as well as one would hope. I loved the first half of the movie, where it’s an extravagant musical about aspiring artists, but halfway through, it kind of jarringly becomes a relationship drama, with hardly any musical numbers, and this part seriously drags. It’s only near the end where Emma Stone sings her big “Give me an Oscar, goddammit” number that I even remembered this movie was supposed to be a musical. It’s like the movie takes two different approaches to its material, whereas one middle-ground approach (keep the big musical bits throughout but make them gradually more dramatic) would have made the movie a lot better, in my opinion. It doesn’t help that the two lead characters just aren’t very interesting. Don’t get me wrong; Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling try their damnedest here, but it feels more like two likable actors playing parts instead of real people with flaws and humanity, a feeling exacerbated by them not even having that good a chemistry.

If you can put up with an uneven viewing experience long enough, the film rewards you with one of the best endings I’ve seen in years, one where the themes, motivations, and songs are meshed together in a perfectly bittersweet sequence that actually makes up for a lot of the film’s flaws, and the one point in the film where the aforementioned contrast between fantasy and reality is perfectly in sync with the filmmaking style. It’s here where it stops being a movie about struggling artists and becomes something grander; a film about following your dreams but realizing that life never really works out the way you intend. This and the opening single-take number are ones for the ages, and make the film worth watching all by themselves. To put it in a one-sentence review, “La La Land” is still a case of a movie musical being really good in the first half but fizzling out in the second (something which happened in every one I’ve ever seen besides the “South Park” movie), but at least it recovers well enough to leave a positive impression.

16. The Shallows – I’m as surprised as you that this “hot-girl-gets-attacked-by-shark” film is this high up on my list, but here we are. Blake Lively plays said hot girl, a medical student who travels to an isolated beach in Mexico as a sort of spiritual journey/tribute to her deceased mother, and before long gets shark’d and stranded a few hundred feet from shore on some rocks during low-tide. I thought this would be the sort of cheeky, “Piranha 3D”-esque exploitation flick, but “The Shallows” actually has enough confidence to take itself fairly seriously. The main character has intelligence and some depth and even an arc (as obvious as it may be), and she’s buoyed by Lively’s terrific and believable performance. The shark is intimidating and scary, even when it’s not onscreen. The film has a good sense of progression, gradually escalating the threat level before arriving at the admittedly over-the-top but highly entertaining finale. It has a scene of the main character performing surgery on herself, which for some morbid reason I’ve always enjoyed seeing in movies and shows. And to top it all off, there’s a seagull that befriends the main character as she’s stranded, played by an actual trained seagull whose reactions (and lack thereof) are hilarious and his role in the plot surprisingly affecting. This seems like a stupid thing to harp on about, but if there was an Oscar for Best Performance by an Animal, Sully the Seagull’s performance as Steven Seagull would easily take home the prize.

There are a few issues, like how the main character tends to speak too much to herself (i.e. the audience) about her situation, and while I didn’t hate the very end of the movie, I do wish the film had ended a minute or two earlier right when it had a perfect moment to do so, instead of going on with an epilogue. However, given the expectations I had going in, director Jaume Collet-Serra uses Blake Lively’s good looks and strong acting ability, the beautiful camerawork and setting, his storytelling skills, and an adorable seagull to blow those expectations completely out of the water (har-har).

15. The Handmaiden – Gorgeously filmed, lurid, and thoroughly entertaining Korean erotic thriller with strong performances, writing, and a wonderfully dark sense of humor (an attempted hanging scene yielded one of the year’s biggest laughs for me). Strikes a good balance between artful grace and trashy pulp.

14. Silence – Of the 2016 films in which an accented and deeply religious Andrew Garfield has his faith tested by horrific violence committed by the Japanese, I like “Hacksaw Ridge” more, but this is still a powerful and deeply personal look at faith from Martin Scorsese. A challenging movie, but rewarding if you put in the effort to understand it thematically. A bit overlong and repetitive in the middle portion (though this is probably intentional), and I feel like the movie would be better if Garfield and Adam Driver switched roles, but from the moment Liam Neeson comes back into the movie, it’s outstanding to the end.

13. The Dressmaker – In the early ‘50s, a bus rolls into a tiny, rural Australian town that looks like something out of a Western. Out steps Kate Winslet, accompanied by a Morricone-esque guitar and violin, immaculately dressed and carrying a sewing machine in her case, who proceeds to light up a cigarette and say “I’m back, you bastards.”

Two minutes in and you already know you’re in for a fun movie. Winslet plays a dressmaker who returns to her hometown after being banished as a child to care for her cantankerous mother (Judy Davis), and before long, dredges up a lot of bad blood among the townsfolk that hurt and humiliated her years ago. To say any more would be to spoil the wonderful weirdness that emanates from this film. “The Dressmaker” blends family melodrama, Western, comedy that ranges from the dark to the surreal to the slapstick, campiness, tragedy, romance, and revenge. It’s a mess, sure, but it struts along with such confidence in itself and its source material that all these seemingly disparate elements miraculously work together, for the most part. It helps that Winslet and Davis are so excellent that they deftly maneuver through all these tones and keep you engaged in what’s happening. It’s tough to say what kind of person I’d recommend this to, but I’ll say this; If you’ve always wanted an Australian Western version of “Twin Peaks” where the protagonist is a female couturier instead of a male gunslinger, then “The Dressmaker” will quench that extremely particular thirst.

A note on why I consider Kate Winslet to be one the best actors in the business: SHE IS A FOREIGN ACTOR THAT NAILS A PERFECT AUSTRALIAN ACCENT.

12. 20th Century Women – Mike Mills somewhat tones down the quirkiness from “Beginners”, but still delivers a personal, heartfelt, and funny portrayal of humanity, here subverting the typical coming-of-age story of his teenage boy self-insert protagonist by focusing the film on the women in his life and how their feminist strength and independence help shape him as he grows up. Fantastic performances from Annette Bening and Greta “Love of my Life” Gerwig.

11. Moana – Beautiful visuals, wonderful music, top-notch voice acting, and a compelling and even touching story. I was pleasantly surprised by how long the movie took to set up the characters and their relationships and individual personalities before diving into the adventure. Even the stuff I normally find annoying in Disney movies (needless action scenes, cute animal sidekicks, hip modern references) are toned down here. Maui (voiced by The Rock, who has more charisma than the ocean has water, and a nice singing voice to boot) is extremely entertaining, but Moana is surprisingly a compelling character herself, someone who has aspirations and flaws and a sense of agency, as opposed to the usual dull Disney heroines who unwillingly fall into their fate before falling in love with Prince Flawless McGeneric. Great, empowering message (especially for young girls) about forging your own path in life. A million bonus points for not giving Moana a forced love interest. Another million points for Jemaine Clement as a giant, singing crab. Best animated film of 2016 by a wide margin. Disney’s best non-Pixar movie since “Lilo & Stitch”. Probably my favorite Disney Princess movie. I don’t care what anyone says; “Moana” was fucking lit.

10. Eddie the Eagle – One thing I’ve noticed about myself lately is how sick I am of “irony”. Not in the dramatic sense, but in the “replacing sincerity and any genuine feeling with some detached sense of humor” sense. I think it was the inexplicable but somehow expected rise in popularity of a meme involving a dead gorilla that did it for me. But my point is, lately I’ve been finding myself watching movies otherwise labeled as “corny” or “cheesy” by jaded, cynical and emotionally detached people, who do so just because said movies believe in their own stories without shame or self-referential humor. Well, fuck those people. They can rot in hell along with their precious gorilla.

“Eddie the Eagle” is about Michael “Eddie” Edwards, a British skier who despite having very little experience and natural talent managed through sheer determination and willpower to accomplish his dream of competing in the 1988 Winter Olympics. Eddie comes from a working class family with a loving, supportive mother and a stern, disapproving father. Despite being a talented skier, he is rejected by Olympic board members due to his uncouth and dopey nature. He realizes that he still has a chance of making it onto the Olympic team as a ski-jumper, since the British have not competed in the sport in several decades, so he runs away to Europe to start training, where he meets an alcoholic former ski-jumper-turned-snow-groomer that helps him train.

This film has pretty much every inspirational sports cliché imaginable, from the plucky loser underdog, to the grumpy mentor, to the uplifting synthesizer music, to the late moments where the protagonist is at his lowest point and wants to give up, and so on. In many cases these would be negatives. However, the movie embraces these clichés instead of trying to shy away from them, and in doing so it feels so sincere and full of heart that it actually works. You acknowledge the unoriginality, but you find yourself rooting for Eddie to succeed so much that you just don’t care. Dexter Fletcher’s direction is spirited and full of energy, the aforementioned synth music by Matthew Margeson is wonderful, and the two lead performances by Taron Egerton as Eddie and Hugh Jackman as his mentor are excellent. The movie isn’t all that historically accurate. The real Eddie Edwards himself said that “only about 5%” of the film is true, and even the tagline is “Inspired by a dream come true”, rather than “Based on a true story”. But as a Huffington Post critic said, “You can't believe most of it, but you can believe in it. That's a subtle but important difference.”

But do you want to know why this movie is so high up on my list? So many movies over the years have been praised as “emotional” and “tear-jerking” and to me ended up feeling manipulative and artificial (*cough*Room*cough*). “Eddie the Eagle”, however, with all its sincerity and heart and feel-good splendor, touched me so much that I actually cried at the end. I can count the movies that made me genuinely cry on one hand, and this is the only one that has ever made me cry tears of joy instead of sadness. If the ending scene at the airport doesn’t melt your heart, then congratulations on not having one.

9. Hunt for the Wilderpeople - Due to my continual disappointment in my usual preferred genres of film in 2016, I started to branch out a bit and check out films I otherwise normally wouldn’t, one of which is New Zealand coming-of-age comedy drama “Hunt for the Wilderpeople”. The plot is about a young juvenile delinquent boy and his grumpy foster father who, due to odd circumstances, find themselves hunted by the law and escape to “the bush”, the vast New Zealand forests. We follow them as the two survive, get into various misadventures, and face off with an obsessed child services worker. To reveal any more would be to spoil this wonderful movie. Suffice it to say I enjoyed the hell out of it. Rarely do you encounter a movie that does adventure, buddy comedy, or tragic drama this well, let alone one that does all three, while at the same time showing interesting aspects of Kiwi culture and the beautiful landscape without feeling like a travelogue. The boy (Julian Dennison) starts off as annoying, but this is intentional rather than the fault of bad acting, and he not only grows on you but also shows a good deal of comic timing and emotional range. Sam Neill as the grumpy foster dad gives a career-best performance, showing the kind of depth I didn’t expect from someone who I think I’ve only ever seen in the “Jurassic Park” movies. Honestly, I recommend this film to pretty much anyone (that has access to subtitles). It’s funny, touching, creative, and lovely to look at. Between this and “What We Do in the Shadows”, writer/director Taika Waititi has given me just the slightest bit of hope that “Thor: Ragnarok” will actually be good.

8. Paterson – Wonderfully understated, warm, and compassionate ode to the passion and creativity found in everyday life, making even the smallest mundanities feel profound and moving. No story arc or big dramatic moments to speak of; just the story of a quiet but observant bus driver/poet and his seemingly unremarkable but, well, poetic life. The relationship between Adam Driver and his wife (Golshifteh Farahani) is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen in a movie. Also; casting Adam Driver as a bus driver? Bravo, Jim Jarmusch.

7. The Nice Guys – I can’t believe I used to not care for Ryan Gosling. Granted, for the longest time the only movie I’d seen him in was “Drive”, and it’s hard to take someone seriously as an actor when all the role asks of someone is to stare silently for uncomfortably long periods and occasionally hit people. But nonetheless, in recent years the guy has done phenomenal work and completely won me over as an actor, culminating in Shane Black’s “The Nice Guys”, where he gives his best performance to date. He is shockingly funny and provides not only a lot of the laughs in this movie, but also a good deal of its heart. He’s gotten a lot of awards attention for his role in “La La Land”, but to me this is the highlight of his career so far.

Gosling plays an alcoholic, bumbling private detective and single father who teams up with the low-rent enforcer who broke his arm (Russell Crowe) to crack a major conspiracy involving a missing girl and a dead porn star. Tagging along for much of the mystery is Gosling’s teenage daughter, played by Angourie Rice in one of the best child performances I’ve ever seen in a movie (damning with faint praise, but still, give her credit), easily holding her own in scenes with Gosling and Crowe, despite a few awkward line deliveries. The three leads are great and have excellent chemistry with each other and with the strong supporting cast, helped along by Black’s hilarious dialogue, irreverent sense of humor, and his continuing growth as a director. I already harped on this in previous reviews, but it’s really refreshing to see a comedy that actually sets its jokes up before giving them a good payoff, especially one where some setups aren’t initially obvious (a seemingly throwaway story about Richard Nixon ended up giving me one of the biggest laughs of the year later on).

There’s kind of a lack of urgency to the mystery that makes the pacing a bit lethargic. I didn’t mind it much because the characters are so likable that you don’t mind spending time with them, but it’s worth mentioning. While there’s some character conflict and growth, I wish it tied into the plot a bit more. The lack of a clear antagonist for the first half of the movie also hurts. There are a lot of jokes and visual gags, and while most work, a few do fall flat. I feel like an extra rewrite and some tighter editing could fix most of these problems, and none of them are by any means a deal-breaker.

It feels weird to call this film “original”, since it’s more or less the same film Shane Black’s been making for the past 30 years, but in an increasingly bland world of mainstream filmmaking, it’s so refreshing to see a unique voice like Black do his own thing with a great cast and a solid budget. It’s a damn shame that a film which should’ve led to some sequels instead just barely made its’ production budget back. Put it another way; if you complain about a lack of originality in Hollywood but still paid money to see the latest superhero flick instead of “The Nice Guys”, please dip your head into a bucket of wet cement until the bubbles stop.

6. Hacksaw Ridge – I’m willing to go on record and say that “Hacksaw Ridge” is probably the most violent movie I’ve ever seen (at least the most violent since the last Mel Gibson movie). Considering this, only Mad Mel can make such an insanely violent film while also telling a moving story about one man’s faith and adherence to pacifism. The story is about Desmond Doss, a conscientious objector and pacifist who wanted to serve his country as a combat medic, and whose extraordinary rescue of over 70 soldiers during the Battle of Okinawa became the stuff of legend and earned him a Medal of Honor.

The movie has kind of a typical biopic structure, showing his early years as a troublesome lad who finds meaning in life with Christianity, to his young adult days where he tries to romance his impossibly attractive later-wife, before moving to the boot camp scenes where he’s persecuted by others for his refusal to pick up a gun, and finally to the war scenes. The transition between corny but solid, old-fashioned melodrama (or MEL-odrama) and the incredible, surreal, horrific war stuff may sound jarring, but in a very smart move, Gibson opens the film with a slow-motion montage of combat with a narration from Doss. This seems kind of clichéd, but it sets your mind up to expect the stuff you’ll see later, while at the same time taking away none of the impact.

Contrary to what some may think about the film and of Gibson going in, it’s not one of those shitty “Christians are good, others suck” films that do remarkably well in the southern states. The subject of the film is deeply religious and the film has its fair share of unsubtle Christ-like imagery, sure, but not only does it not beat you over the head with it, it even feels earned after seeing what Doss is put through. Plus, if anything, it’s less about the strength of faith and more about sticking to your convictions even when the whole world tests you. Plus, it’s refreshing for a war movie to heroically portray a man who saved lives instead of taking them.

Despite being away from the director’s chair for a decade, Gibson has lost none of his storytelling prowess or his penchant for striking imagery. The period and technical detail is fantastic (during one scene where you see through the scope of a Japanese sniper rifle, the film even got the scope right). Despite having to fill the late, great James Horner’s (who couldn’t do the film due to his unfortunate death in 2015) shoes, Rupert Gregson-Williams surprisingly turns in one of the strongest musical scores of the year. The mostly-Australian cast is excellent, with Andrew Garfield giving a career-best performance as Doss (at this point, I forgive him for “The Amazing Spiderman 2”), as well as strong supporting turns from Vince Vaughn as the funny/tough drill sergeant, and especially from Hugo Weaving as Doss’s PTSD-ridden WWI veteran father. Weaving genuinely looks like a man who died in the trenches in France but whose body still returned home, turning to booze and anger to make him forget the trauma he experienced.

I would say that Hacksaw Ridge has all the makings of a great film but is slightly held back by some story choices. The film kind of ends shortly after Doss’s heroic exploits with some standard biopic text and interviews from his real-life former comrades. It’s fine, but I think it would have had more impact to first show Doss returning home and reuniting with his wife and family, considering how prominent the theme of family was in the film. Also, there is one scene late in the movie involving Japanese officers, which I won’t spoil, but it feels forced and EXTREMELY unnecessary (I guess Gibson just has a thing for beheadings).

Still, considering how good this film is overall and how well it’s being received, I’m happy to report that Mel Gibson is no longer persona non-grata in Hollywood, and that I absolutely look forward to whatever he’s making next. Welcome back, Mel. We missed you.

Note: Something I thought of after watching “Hacksaw Ridge”; Mel Gibson could totally direct a “Mad Max” film.

5. Hell or High Water - On an early Texas morning, a two men rob a pair of branches of the Texas Midlands Bank. While not without a few hiccups, the robberies go smoothly. The two men are siblings; calm and smart divorced father Toby (Chris Pine), and his loose-cannon ex-con brother Tanner (Ben Foster). They are trying to raise enough money to save their family farm by paying off the foreclosing bank with its own stolen money, while being hunted down by Texas Rangers Marcus and Alberto (Jeff Bridges and Gil Birmingham), the former close to retirement. There are still a number of branches they need to rob in order to raise the needed amount. What ensues is one of the most mature and intelligent thrillers I’ve seen in a long time.

There is no black or white. Just two sides of the law. We understand both sides, and the motivation of each man. While the robbery scenes are thrilling and gritty, the movie actually shows a tremendous level of restraint. The pacing is deliberately slow, but the film is so well-made and well-written and so confident in itself that it never becomes boring, and it builds exceptionally well to its grip-you-by-the-balls climax. The movie spends a lot of time with the characters talking, with dialogue that feels both realistic and entertaining. The extremely underrated TV show "Justified" has instilled in me a joy in hearing Southern people talk shit to each other, and the movie doesn't let me down in that regard. The rural, neo-Western setting is wonderfully atmospheric and does a good job conveying how tough life can be in such a place (with a noteworthy supporting performance from Katy Mixon as a waitress who refuses to give back a large tip of stolen money to the Rangers).

Even though his character is pretty much a less alcoholic and more down-to-earth version of his Rooster Cogburn from the Coens’ “True Grit”, Bridges still impresses with a soulful and highly entertaining performance. Similarly, while Ben Foster feels a bit typecast as the “wild man” brother, he still knocks it out of the park with his confidence and screen presence. The biggest surprise is Chris Pine, tuning down his smirky charm and turning in his best performance to date as a man whose cool-headedness masks his desperation.

If I had to think of a flaw, it's that the film has a slightly-annoying over-reliance on licensed country songs in the first half of the movie...really, that's all I can think of. The slow pacing might be a turnoff for some people (some extremely thick people who very likely have ADHD and are virgins), but it pays off so well that I can't even consider it a problem for anyone with a three-digit IQ. If you are tired of action movies or thrillers being dumb, this is the movie for you. If you are tired of smart movies being dull, this is the movie for you. "Hell or High Water" is a diamond in the rough that is 2016, and deserves your attention.

4. Elle – I saw this movie solely because Paul Verhoeven directed a sizable portion of my childhood (Robocop, Total Recall, and Starship Troopers), and he has enough goodwill based on that alone that I’ll check out anything he makes. While his European films are noticeably different from his American action classics, one thing that hasn’t faltered is his skill as a director and unique voice in telling provocative stories. “Elle” certainly has one hell of an opening. A wealthy middle-aged woman named Michèle is attacked and raped in her home in France. After the intruder leaves, Michèle calmly collects herself, cleans herself and her home, and goes to work the next day as if nothing is wrong. The rest of the movie is about her conducting her own investigation into finding out who attacked her as we learn about her feelings and why she doesn’t notify the police, as well as her complicated relationships with her friends, neighbors and family.

I can definitely see a lot of people getting offended by this movie’s depiction of rape and its consequences on the main character, but considering how complex and unpredictable human beings can be, this is one of the most bracing, raw and honest depictions of the subject I’ve ever seen. Put it simply, this isn’t your typical rape-revenge film. The excellent writing and Verhoeven’s strong command of the material and his cast elevates it beyond what I thought possible. The characters are very well-defined, with all their own quirks and needs and insecurities, and despite how uncomfortable the film can be, it’s also surprisingly very funny in how it presents them and their relationships with each other, especially during a fantastic Christmas dinner scene where all the characters and their animosities come together. There is a lot of gossiping, resentment, passive-aggressiveness and cuckoldry on display (it’s a French movie, so no surprise there). The film is certainly lurid, but everything from the story and performances to the themes and subtext is done so well that you can’t stop watching. At no moment during its two-and-a-half-hour running time was I bored.

“Elle” is a film I wouldn’t recommend to everyone due to its’ length and subject matter, but thanks to the strong writing, Paul Verhoeven’s confident direction, and a stunning lead performance from Isabelle Huppert, this a bold, gripping, and surprisingly entertaining film that is absolutely worth going out of your way to see if you can stomach it. Plus, there’s a really cute cat.

With that out of the way; please come back to America and make another gory, over-the-top action film, Mr. Verhoeven. Hollywood needs you more than you need it.

3. Sing Street – An Irish lad from a broken home in 1985 Dublin gets transferred to a rough, inner-city school. Soon he meets a mysterious girl hanging around outside the school, and in an effort to impress her, asks her to be a model in a music video for his non-existent band.

What follows is a coming-of-age story about artistic expression and love where the boy gathers anyone that can play an instrument (including the funniest part of the movie where they try to recruit “probably the only black guy in Dublin”), starts making music and videos, and slowly starts bonding with the girl. It’s tough to make a movie set in 20th century Ireland feel optimistic, but writer/director John Carney deftly maneuvers between comedy and drama, makes the film simultaneously fantastic yet grounded, making the story of falling in love and following one’s dreams feel believable and easy to root for.

From the tagline “Boy meets girl. Girl unimpressed. Boy starts band”, you can probably guess the general progression of the plot. This, coupled with the fact that I don’t like coming-of-age stories, or musicals, or Irish people*, means that this film was facing an uphill battle from me. Imagine how goddamn good this film must be that it’s number 3 on my list this year. A cynic would say that it doesn’t face much competition from an unremarkable year for film like 2016, but “Sing Street” is a wonderful ode to the power of music and young love that would be great in any year, and I defy you to watch it without a smile on your face. Basically, if you possess a heart, a soul, a dream, a love for music, or a pulse, I cannot recommend “Sing Street” enough.

*kidding. I love you, you pale, swear-y, chip-shop bombing drunkards.

2. Star Trek Beyond – After a strong start to a reboot of the storied franchise with 2009’s “Star Trek”, the series took a nosedive with “Star Trek Into Darkness”, the woefully misguided attempt to make the series dark and gritty. Because of this and the new director being Justin Lin, a man who has made four (well, three and a cameo) films about Vin Diesel sleepily growling about family in between scenes of supercars performing Cirque du Soleil acts, I wasn’t all too excited for the new entry, even though it’d be written by talented comic actor and well-known nerd Simon Pegg. Who would have thought that Pegg and Lin would have been the ones that saved not only 2016 from being a shit year for blockbusters, but also the soul of the “Star Trek” franchise?

The plot is about Kirk and the Enterprise crew getting stranded on a remote world after being attacked by a mysterious warlord while investigating a missing ship. It’s a slick and self-contained adventure, making it feel like a long and big-budget episode of the series in the best possible way. I don’t want to imply that this is the “Star Trek” of yore. It’s still a big, over-the-top space action film. But it has something that the previous two films (especially Into Darkness) lacked; spirit. The spirit of discovery, of exploration, of optimism. That despite the dangers in the galaxy, any problem can be overcome as long as all the species work together. Most importantly, it has an emphasis on character, actually slowing down at times to let them breathe and talk and joke with each other (y’know, like they’re people or something, and not just plot-devices). There’s a wonderful little scene at the start where Kirk and Bones share a drink to toast Kirk’s deceased father, and the tributes to the gone-but-not-forgotten Leonard Nimoy and Anton Yelchin were beautifully done.

It’s remarkable how well Lin and Pegg capture this “Star Trek” spirit while still making an exciting, blockbuster action film. Lin brings his A-game to the action scenes, making them fun, creative, and natural as a story progression. You always understand why the action is happening, as opposed to a random fight being thrown in for its own sake. There’s a certain scene later in the film where a ship has to take on a swarm of smaller enemies with a familiar musical cue, and I cannot remember the last time I ever felt so much hype and childish glee in a movie scene.

I guess the villain is the same generic normal-guy-who-was-betrayed-and-wants revenge that the past two films had, but between the still-excellent cast (newcomer Sofia Boutella steals the show as an alien warrior/scavenger that Scotty meets), a strong soundtrack, awesome visuals, a fun story, involving action scenes, and that warm “Star Trek” feel to it, “Star Trek Beyond” feels like a jolt to the heart of a series that was in danger of becoming lost to soulless, studio-driven blockbuster territory. Assuming there’s more to this series of films, I cannot wait to see where the franchise boldly goes from here.

1. Free Fire – This is the most fun I’ve had in a theater since “Mad Max: Fury Road”. I wasn’t a huge fan of Ben Wheatley’s previous films, but among the material I didn’t really care for, I saw an undeniable talent in his work. Here, it’s like he used his powers to make a movie precisely for me.

The film is about an arms deal that takes place in a warehouse between two groups of criminals that quickly gets out of hand after shots are fired in the exchange. The remaining 70 minutes of this 90-minute long movie is basically one really long shootout as everyone picks sides, betray each other, and get increasingly wounded while rarely ceasing their shit-talking. Think “Reservoir Dogs” as a comedy of miscommunication. In an amazing feat of filmmaking, Wheatley makes sure that this lengthy shootout set mostly in one large room isn’t boring for a second. His smart, gradual escalation of events punctuated with a number of “holy shit” moments and set pieces, held together by excellent editing, keeps the film exciting and darkly funny throughout. In between the big moments, characters take pause to hurl expletives at each other and ponder their own situation as they desperately try to get out of it, adding up to people you care about and are interested in even if they’re all dicks. This is a brilliant example of how important pacing and characterization is to a film, especially to one with so little plot.

Also helping is the hilarious banter, delivered by a wonderful and colorful cast of characters played by a small but absolutely stellar cast. Everyone is great and play their characters perfectly, with a standout performance by Sharlto Copley as an unhinged, self-absorbed arms dealer who causes much of the conflict in the film. I knew I’d love him as soon as a character says “Vernon was misdiagnosed as a child genius and never got over it.” I also want to mention the sound design, which is some of the best in recent memory, with every bullet fired feeling like a loud jolt to one’s system. The writing is highly enjoyable on a superficial level, and even carries a bit of depth with the shootout being a clever allegory for human nature and just generally what happens when idiots own guns.

“Free Fire” is by far the best movie I saw this year, and when it gets a theatrical release, I implore you to go see it. The only complaints I can think of are that the ending is just alright, and after a certain point you start to wonder where some of the characters keep getting their ammo from. Time will tell if this film stands up to repeated viewings, but this was easily the funniest, craziest, and most entertaining film I’ve seen all year. Yes, my favorite movie of 2016 is a 2017 movie in which characters argue and shoot each other in a dirty warehouse for 90 minutes. Cinema isn’t dead yet.

The “30 and Still Living in Parents’ Basement” Award for Biggest Disappointment

Nominees:

· Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

· Jason Bourne

· Passengers

· Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

· Warcraft

Runner-up:

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Winner:

Passengers

The “Clever Marketing” Award for Best Tagline

Nominees:

· Elvis & Nixon – “On December 21st, 1970, two of America's greatest recording artists met for the first time.”

· Free Fire – “All guns. No control.”

· London Has Fallen – “Prepare for bloody hell”

· The Dressmaker – “Revenge is back in fashion”

Runner-up:

The Dressmaker

Winner:

Elvis & Nixon

The “Postcore Avantwave” Award for Best Film Score

Nominees:

· Bear McCreary – 10 Cloverfield Lane

· Justin Hurwitz – La La Land

· Mark Mancina, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Opetaia Foa'i - Moana

· Matthew Margeson – Eddie the Eagle

· Michael Giacchino – Star Trek Beyond

· Rupert Gregson-Williams – Hacksaw Ridge

· Shirō Sagisu – Shin Godzilla

Runner-up:

Mark Mancina, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Opetaia Foa'i - Moana

Winner:

Bear McCreary – 10 Cloverfield Lane

The "I'm Glad We Decided to Keep It" Award for Best Child Performance

Nominees:

· Angourie Rice - The Nice Guys

· Auli'i Cravalho - Moana

· Ferdia Walsh-Peelo – Sing Street

· Harvey Scrimshaw - The Witch

· Julian Dennison - Hunt for the Wilderpeople

· Kim Su-an – Train to Busan

· Lucas Jade Zumann – 20th Century Women

Runner-up:

Julian Dennison - Hunt for the Wilderpeople

Winner:

Angourie Rice - The Nice Guys

The “If Only the Rest of the Movie Was This Good” Award for Best Scene

Nominees:

· Athens riot – Jason Bourne

· Beach drowning – Silence

· Captain America and Winter Soldier vs. Iron Man – Captain America: Civil War

· Car chase – Operation Avalanche

· Christmas dinner party – Elle

· Climactic robbery/shootout/getaway – Hell or High Water

· Desmond’s rescues – Hacksaw Ridge

· “Drive It Like You Stole It” – Sing Street

· Epilogue – La La Land

· Entering the ship – Arrival

· “How Far I’ll Go” – Moana

· Police station – Manchester by the Sea

· Sabotage – Star Trek Beyond

· The un-destruction of Hong Kong – Doctor Strange

· The 90-meter jump – Eddie the Eagle

· Quicksilver and the exploding mansion �� X-Men: Apocalypse

· Warehouse rescue - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Runner-up:

Police station – Manchester by the Sea

Winner:

Sabotage – Star Trek Beyond

The “Pig in Lipstick” Award for Prettiest Movie

Nominees:

· A Bigger Splash

· Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

· Doctor Strange

· Hail Caesar!

· Kubo and the Two Strings

· La La Land

· Moana

· The Handmaiden

· The Love Witch

Runner-up:

The Handmaiden

Winner:

Kubo and the Two Strings

The “Premium Meth” Award for Best Chemistry

Nominees:

· Adam Driver and Golshifteh Farahani - Paterson

· Casey Affleck and Michelle Williams – Manchester by the Sea

· Chris Pine and Ben Foster – Hell or High Water

· Gerard Butler and his knife – London Has Fallen

· Jeff Bridges and Gil Birmingham – Hell or High Water

· Michael Peña and Alexander Skarsgård – War on Everyone

· Ruth Negga and Joel Edgerton – Loving

· Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe – The Nice Guys

· Ryan Reynolds and Morena Baccarin – Deadpool

· Sacha Baron Cohen and Mark Strong – The Brothers Grimsby

Runner-up:

Michael Peña and Alexander Skarsgård – War on Everyone

Winner:

Casey Affleck and Michelle Williams – Manchester by the Sea

The “Healed Broken Bone” Award for Best Cast

Nominees:

· 20th Century Women

· Captain America: Civil War

· Everybody Wants Some!!

· Fences

· Free Fire

· Hail, Caesar!

· Love & Friendship

· Sing Street

· Star Trek Beyond

· The Magnificent Seven

Runner-up:

Sing Street

Winner:

Free Fire

The “Convincingly Faked Orgasm” Award for Best Performance

Honorable Mentions:

· Andrew Garfield – Hacksaw Ridge

· Ben Foster – Hell or High Water

· Blake Lively – The Shallows

· Chris Pine – Hell or High Water

· Emma Stone – La La Land

· Hugo Weaving – Hacksaw Ridge

· Joe Alwyn – Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk

· Joel Edgerton – Loving

· Judy Davis – The Dressmaker

· Kate Beckinsale – Love & Friendship

· Kate Winslet – The Dressmaker

· Kwak Do-won – The Wailing

· Mahershala Ali - Moonlight

· Ruth Negga – Loving

· Sam Neill – Hunt for the Wilderpeople

· Viggo Mortensen – Captain Fantastic

· Woody Harrelson – The Edge of Seventeen

Nominees:

· Adam Driver – Paterson

· Alden Ehrenreich – Hail, Caesar!

· Annette Bening – 20th Century Women

· Casey Affleck – Manchester by the Sea

· Denzel Washington – Fences

· Gerard Butler – London Has Fallen

· Greta Gerwig – 20th Century Women

· Isabelle Huppert - Elle

· Jeff Bridges – Hell or High Water

· John Goodman – 10 Cloverfield Lane

· Michael Shannon – Nocturnal Animals

· Michelle Williams – Manchester by the Sea

· Ralph Fiennes – A Bigger Splash

· Rebecca Hall – Christine

· Ryan Gosling – The Nice Guys

· Ryan Reynolds – Deadpool

· Sharlto Copley – Free Fire

· Tom Bennett – Love & Friendship

· Viola Davis – Fences

Runner-up:

Gerard Butler – London Has Fallen

Winner:

Ryan Gosling – The Nice Guys

In regards to my final award:

The whole “Fuck 2016” thing has been done to death, albeit not undeservingly, so this’ll be my only word on the matter. A lot of us had a rough year, dealing with political strife, global conflict, environmental issues, personal problems, celebrity deaths, “Suicide Squad”, etc. Even in film, 2016 has felt like a bit of a downer, with many films I was looking forward to letting me down. However, there have been quite a few gems, especially in the latter half of the year, and a good number of these are off the beaten path, ones I actively searched for to find and ones I gave a shot even if they’re the type of thing I wouldn’t normally see.

My point is, we have to make an effort to get the good out of life. You can still find some gems while wading through a river of shit (which you’re going to wade through anyway), and I’m not just talking about movies. Try something you normally wouldn’t. Try to pick up a new hobby. Make some personal time for yourself, even if you’re swamped with work or school. Start exercising if you don’t already (hell, try yoga). Don’t just accept that life is shit; do something to make it less shit. Always strive to better yourself, because while there’s no such thing as perfection (unless you’re Michael Shannon), it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t reach for it.

The mere fact that you’re reading this means that you’re actively trying to de-pleb yourself, or maybe it’s because you love me or maybe I just make you laugh sometimes. In any case, thank you for reading this year-in-review. As it has been for the past two years, writing this was fun and therapeutic. I wish you all luck in seeking happiness (and good taste in film, like mine), and for those of you who have a bad day somewhere on that journey, film is always there for you, including the following films which can cheer one up even on the rainiest days.

The “Ancient Indian Burial Ground” Award for Film Most Likely to Raise Your Spirits

Nominees:

Eddie the Eagle

Sing Street

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

Everybody Wants Some!!

Moana

Runner-up:

Sing Street

Winner:

Eddie the Eagle

#2016 #movies #review

2 notes · View notes