#like 22 in humidity
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Very niche idea very much Purple Hearts inspired buuuut-
Rich, sick Reader that has no family left with a crap ton of inheritance and an estimated one year left to live, and Ino Takuma who's been living paycheck to paycheck with debt on his shoulders because he wants to live life his own way and on his own terms.
In other words, "I can't handle it alone" Reader x "I can handle it, don't worry" Takuma.
He finds them through a job offer. Marriage of convenience. He thinks it's far too good with the weekly paycheck and all, lasting one year with no visible downsides and a divorce at the end of the year-long agreement. It's all too perfect and he knows it.
But, with a set of particularly nasty debt collectors / loan sharks demanding money, Takuma takes the job. The marriage is quick, sponsored by a similarly-aged Reader. And now it's just a matter of getting along. And they do, sort of.
Takuma doesn't see Reader often at first. They're closed off, simply sending him the money at the end of each week. Texts are straight to the point and the phonecalls are short with the Reader hanging up early. They go on a few 'dates' at his request and he tries to learn as much as he can about the Reader during it, but other than that it's quiet until the first phonecall he receives from a hospital informing him of Reader being taken there.
He visits instantly, sees them and talks to them, and the story progresses from there though it's not exactly smooth.
They're opossites. Takuma is warm, happy even in stressful situations. Cool and endearing. Reader is tired, cold though they don't intend for it. Where Takuma is brimming with life, Reader is wilting.
The one thing both of them have in common is the fact that they are awkward. Very awkward.
Blushing awkward messes that suck at relationships. Anyways-
Reader doesn't have much to live for though when Takuma finds out about that he refuses to let that remain the case. He tries to make them happier. He shows them things from his day to day life. He tries to get them to smile, to laugh. He takes leave from his other jobs when Reader is brought into hospitals just to spend time with them.
And you know what, it helps. That goal- that happy ending pushes Reader towards recovery. They get better! Live longer than a year and heal.
And then they get a happy ever after.
Alternatively the job makes him a stay at home husband taking care of Reader.
Based on the fact that partners and finances don't count as family when visiting people in Japanese hospitals so apparently they're never properly informed of things.
#ino takuma#toonce ideas#takuma x reader#ino takuma x reader#cause I don't remember which tag I was using#kinda rushed ending to the post but bare with me#i also have an idea vaguely inspired by Scent of a Woman#though mainly the “hired to take care of a blind person” setting#though it could be either for Takuma or Toji#technically both could work woth distinctly different vibes#i might come up with some blurbs in the morning for both of them#cause hahaha it's 22°C with what feels like too high humidity at 02:20#i will actually melt
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I Simon Pegged to close to the sun???
I have now watched Hot Fuzz so many times that parts of me are getting silly and goofy while thinking about Mission Impossible. Simon Peg does not show up in the series until about 250 minutes in. Would it be irrational to watch AT MINIMUM 3 whole mission impossible movies just for a silly guy.
Yes it would be. But I’ve done it before for other sillies, what’s the difference here?
The difference is that I would have to watch 2 whole mission impossible before I get to the first one with Simon Peg in it. This has risks including but not limited too, adopting TOM CRUSIE as new silly guy. Rationally I cant let this happen.
You may say, hey milkcricket just watch any other Simon Peg film, you praise the cornetto trilogy so much watch Shawn of the Dead or The Worlds End. To that I say, no. I honestly don't care for Shawn and his thing and the worlds end is a movie I watch when I’m sad. Further Benji fucking Dunn has wormed into my mind and I love a good action film.
In conclusion I have Pegged to close to the sun and am in a sweaty rage avoiding watching the mission impossible series. Wish me luck gamers I’m fighting the war
#simon pegg#hot fuzz#the cornetto trilogy#mission impossible#tom crusie#benji dunn#im going insane because of the humidity#why am i like dis#and do i go see the new mission impossible#its only a few days before barbie and I cant handle 2 fixations#i have a wife and kids#thats a lie but still#if i start now ill get to simon pegg by#1am#is this an autism thing#or do i just want to be simon pegg#trans#i also havent showned since yesterday but i fell really sweaty#is that also an austim thing#for context ive seen hot fuzz 22 times#i own it twice on dvd#i can watch it in my mind#if you cant tell im stalling#like that so much tom cruise before i get to see simon pegg#and in the first one hes kinda a joke man#dont ask me why i know inimate details about the plot#you dont need to know#i have to be awake at 830 tomarow#for extra context behind this whole thing im typing is the first page of tumble when you look up#soapshipping
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my fucking aircon broke and now i have to deal with the gross as fuck humidity i’m dying :’((
#got an aircon service man coming out soon#but still i’m so sad#anytime the temp in my room is above 22 and like 10% humidity i die#mine
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I’ve never craved anything more after a run than this hummus
#I’ve run out of pita chips I’m just eating it straight out of the container now#22 more miles in the bag#I was def running on fumes at the end prolly bc of the shorty breakfast I ate#and maybe need more applesauce#but the applesauce is definitely a winner#and I didn’t die even tho it was like 90 and humid at the end#*shitty breakfast#running#the sweat in my eyeballs was annoying as fuck tho
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That's coat weather. Probably need a hat too. 60 isn't warm. 90 is warm.
No in between. Reblog if you vote pleas
#anything below 22/71 and I need a jacket#it's already been above 40/104 here three times this year#heat index 38/100,uv index 12,90% humidity,thunderstorms? sounds like spring in taipei
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.
#where's the rain#rain please come back#i cant live in temperures like that#i mean it's 22° but humidity 73%#yesterday was 26° and 45% and way waaaay fucking better#help me
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Officially its ten degrees colder than yesterday but it Feels like 10 degrees Hotter than yesterday
#blablabla#my guy my dudes thats NOT what 22 degrees feels like#the humidity is sitting on me like an elephant
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finally ordered an AC unit!! I'm not melting in these fucking heatwaves anymore!!
#fans just aren't cutting it anymore#curse you climate change#summer used to be mild on this island#now its like fucking radiation#bc of the humidity#also as a sidenote when i had tiktok i'd love the ones by people from tropical/hot countries like ones that are 35-40+ in temp#and then coming here in summer and getting demolished by our 22-30c heat#i stg its the fucking humidity that makes it like 100% worse than it should feel#if it was like a dry heat it'd be so much more tolerable but
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fuck dude my thumb hurts so bad!!!!!!!!!!! this bone spur shit is RIDICULOUS like do you know how much shit i use my hands/thumbs for???? it's ruining my life
#she bork#tbd#1. how the fuck am i gonna have bone spurs at the ripe old age of 22?????? and 2. why is it even acting up now???? like ik it's humid but#it seems like the rainy weather has mostly passed over us so i'm like 🤨 man getting my words down today is gonna be a bitch if my thumb#keeps up this fawking nonsense. which is unfortunate bc i'm actually at a fun scene today and i was looking forward to it
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The only good thing about summer is the storms.
#humidity my nemesis#but also like#having experienced the dry i definitely need the wet#i am not meant for arid environments#17:22
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if you’re still writing for the monster 141, what about a bay hybrid reader, who is just on the edges on going into hibernation because the base is in a colder area/remote snowy location
I’m gonna assume you mean bear?
Cw: bear hybrid!readr, hibernation, binge eating, hoarding, tell me if I missed any.
Winter was creeping closer and closer by each day, your instinctual need to sleep away the cold calling to you louder than the prior days. There was a bone-deep exhaustion that clung to you, the heaviness that cold weather brought to you was a constant and nagging feeling that urged you deeper in the nest you’d built yourself in your dark room. Your curtains drawn, lights often closed and locks installed, you’d spent the weeks preparing, hoarding soft pillows, thick blankets and clothes from people you were familiar with.
They were surprised when you brought it up, blinking tiredly and occasionally yawning in the afternoon, stumbling between everyone’s rooms with a small plea on the tip of your tongue. You took whatever they were willing to give you: a blanket from Price and Rudolfo, a shirt from König and Gaz, a jacket from Ghost and Horangi, and a pillow from Soap and Alejandro. As long as it smelled like them, a lingering reminder that you weren’t alone in your humid room, their musk grounding and safety. You wouldn’t be alone.
Price had known you were - like most bears - prone to hibernation, taking between one to three month of your year sleeping away the cold, sinking into your mountain of fabric and sleeping off the coldest months. Your time depended on the year, the warmer it was, the less you slept, and the colder it was, the longer you slept. It might’ve been a bother in people’s eyes - humans - but it was instinctual, a primal part of your brain that still clung to your ancestors who strayed from the path of being normal bears. You couldn’t ignore the pull, the call to sleep, it wasn’t possible for a bear like you, and you were fortunate to have such accommodating teammates.
You grew hungrier, your stomach becoming an endless pit, an abyss that kept taking dish after dish, stocking up in fat and calories that you’d burn during your sleep, keeping you sustained and alive without having to wake up. You ate whatever you that was within your reach, the cold bread, the warm milk, the leftover of two days ago or Soap’s surprisingly good cooking, nothing was safe when you were a big and grumpy and hungry bear near hibernation. Ever supportive and helpful, Soap and Alejandro would jump in to cook for you, hooking Gaz and Rudolfo into being their sous-chef whenever they were free. It was the delicious scent of home cooked and warm meals that brought you to the kitchen, if it wasn’t a call for fixing up someone, it was the smell of good food.
You were ravenous, gulping down the many, many plates the duo - occasionally quartet - placed on the table, their chests puffed up pridefully at your quick eating, you were practically breathing them in. Your constant eating helped you pack some weight, your skin stretched to accommodate your growing amount of fat that would ultimately burn over the months. And when the day came, you were low on energy, grumpy and easy to anger, your patience running paper thin, bidding your goodbyes and see you soon, wrapping your arms around them and teasing them about missing you during your lockdown.
You’d sleep through the cold winter months and wake up to a warmer and busier time, to a welcoming and excited team that had spent the better half of winter waiting impatiently for the TF’s medic to wake up.
Taglist: @craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @angelcakes-22 @ramadiiiisme @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @im-making-an-effort @love-dove-noora @jinxxangel13 @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mul-pi @danielle143 @beau-min @makayla-666 @urfavsunkissedleo @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @luvecarson @petwifed @randominstake @heartelysia @jggykhug09090 @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @call-me-nyxx @sans-chara @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @thigh-o-saur @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami
#x reader#cod mw2#cod mw2 x reader#ghost mw2#simon ghost riley x reader#konig x reader#konig mw2#soap mw2#soap x reader#gaz mw2#gaz x reader#price mw2#price x reader#horangi mw2#horangi x reader#rudolfo parra#rudy x reader#alejandro vargas#alejandro vargas x reader#monster 141#monster cod au#monster 141 au#Bear hybrid!reader#hybrid!au#hybrid reader
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Guilty Pleasure (1/7) - dbf!Joel x reader
You're home from college for the summer, staying with your parents in Austin, TX. So is your dad's best friend, Joel Miller. Rating: Explicit, 18+ only, mdni Series warnings (tba): Age gap (reader is 22, Joel is 42), masturbation (f), use of sex toys, oral sex, PiV, anal, hair pulling, dirty talk, getting caught, playful use of 'daddy', outrageous flirting, groping, reference to m/m, Joel's arms should always come with a warning. No outbreak!AU. Word count: 2.3K A/N: If you know/follow me, you're probably just as shocked as I am to see a dbf!Joel fic by my hand. Totally get it if it's not your thing, please feel free to move on and skip this one. However - if you've read and enjoyed other fics by me, you may wanna give it a try! Submitting this also to @hellishjoel who is organizing the #hotdilfsummerchallenge (go check out all the other fics on her page!) 💜
series masterlist | main masterlist next chapter >
You don’t hate him. Not exactly.
But he doesn’t need to know that.
“I’m just so damn sick of him, you know? He thinks he’s so important and hot shit. People are fawning about him all the damn time, but he’s just my dad and an asshole,” you sigh to your best friend on the other end of the Facetime call. You’re in an Uber headed to your parents’ house, desperate for time away from school and your cheating ex. Your mom had been excited that you would be spending the summer break with them in Austin, and assured you that your father would be too. As IF.
“I thought that maybe I could just relax, but no. Everything is about my dad again. He started this big... I don’t even know what. Project. Venture. Mission. Did you see it on tv? He’s on the news all the damn time.” Just the thought alone already makes you cringe, and you’re glad to see your friend nod at you, requiring no further explanation - she knows all about your father. “So I figured he won’t be in my way when I’m home. But now his friend Joel is staying at the house, too. The entire fucking summer. Who even does that?”
Your father and Joel had been friends for a long time, even before you were born, but you struggled to remember anything about him. He was a contractor, running his own company for quite a while now, and he had a brother named Tommy. “They’re working on renovating his house, so he needed a place to stay. It’s not like he’ll be in your way, sweetheart. Most of the time he’s out working for clients,” your mom had assured you, reminding you there were more than just a few spare bedrooms at the house. But to you, it didn’t matter; he would be in the way. You just knew it. Ruining your summer. The last thing you needed was a constant reminder of your dad shaped as Joel, hanging around the house.
“No, I don’t know much about him - it’s been years since I saw him.” You wince as you see your parents’ house down the street, and for a moment you’re tempted to ask the Uber driver to circle around the block one more time. “Look, I’m here - I have to go. Wish me luck, call me later,” you plead with your friend as the car pulls up to the oversized driveway. It takes a moment to get all your suitcases out of the car, since the driver merely watches you with an impatient frown on his face, but then you’re finally stumbling towards the front door.
It’s good to be in Austin again, but you haven’t missed the Texas heat - and humidity - for one bit. All you want right now is a pizza and a very, very strong drink to forget about the shitty trip you just had. But it seems not even that is in the cards for you right now, as nobody bothers to come to the door after you’ve loudly rang the doorbell. Not even on the third try. Just when you’re about to start screaming in frustration, you finally hear footsteps rushing down the hallway.
“Mom, why did you not–,” you start when the door swings open, but the words immediately stick in your throat as you stare at the man in front of you. Tall, strong, and handsome, looking much better than he had any right to while being dressed in old jeans and a t-shirt - courtesy of those arms in particular, and a mouth that immediately gave you ideas about where he should put it. Jesus Christ.
“Joel…?”, you finally manage when your brain seems to catch up with the low throb you’re feeling in your pussy. You do not remember your dad’s best friend looking this hot, or smelling so good - the sandalwood in his cologne reminds you of more than just a couple of debauched nights on campus that you’d had in the past year. But this was clearly not one of the frat boys that surrounded you during your classes or evenings out. This was a whole ass DILF, somewhere in his early forties like your parents, and it takes you effort to not whimper as you take him in.
Your core aches just from looking at him, a painful reminder of how many weeks it has been since you’d last had an orgasm that didn’t come from your own hand or a toy. Finding out that your piece of shit ex-boyfriend had been running around with several other girls had been a harsh way to end the semester, but at least it made you decide to spend the summer here in Texas. And that decision suddenly seems like a very, very good idea in retrospect.
It’s only when Joel says your name, an amused smirk playing over his face, that you realize you’ve definitely been staring at him. “Hey, kiddo. Been a while. D’you need a hand with that?”, he asks, and as you hear his drawl, you’re pretty damn sure that you’ve never heard that man sound anything like this. Goddamn. Hot in every way, it seems, it seems - you may have never before appreciated a Texas accent as much as you like his.
He doesn’t wait for your response, but simply takes over two of your suitcases and a duffle bag like they weigh nothing. “Nicole- I mean, your mom asked me to help you get you settled, she’s gonna be back in a few hours,” he says, keeping the front door open with one strong shoulder so you can get into the house.
“Thanks, that’s so nice of you,” you manage to say as you follow him through the house, to your bedroom on the second floor. Walking behind him is the perfect excuse to take in his physique, and you freely let your eyes roam over his strong shoulders and broad back, and you can tell you’re getting wet just by looking at him. God, he’s fit. Especially for a guy who is probably twenty years older than you are. Those arms… Was he single? And - did that even matter, really?
You realize that you must’ve zoned out and missed something he’s said to you, because he gives you a questioning look when you’re both standing in your childhood bedroom. The decoration, colors and posters are still familiar to you, but in a detached way, like you’re looking at them in a photo album of someone you used to be, in sharp contrast to who you are now and the man in front of you.
“I said that I hope I won’t be in your way this summer. Your parents are happy you’re staying here with them,” he says, then surprises you by giving you a friendly, brief hug. “It’s good to see you again, kid.” You gladly accept the hug, and you can’t help but bury your face against his shoulder for just a moment, inhaling his cologne and the underlying subtle tone of his natural scent. That’s when you internally make up your mind, right there on the spot.
You want him.
Now, and for the rest of the summer.
And if that pissed off your father? All the better.
Once you’re sure he’s left the hallway outside of your room, you grab your phone and immediately google his name, checking through his online profiles. No mention of any wife or girlfriend. Perfect. When you find his Instagram, your jaw drops at the photos you see of Joel clearly working hard and dripping sweat. Almost pornographic, really.
With a few taps you send the pictures to your best friend, quickly adding the caption ‘sooo i decided I’m gonna be his inappropriately young gf for the summer’. Her response pings almost instantly, as you expected, a barrage of emojis and ‘OMG GIRL YESSSS GET THAT DILF’. You can’t help but chuckle as you send a quick message back to her, ‘more later xxx’, then turn off the sound on your phone.
For a moment you consider unpacking all of your luggage, which would definitely be the more practical thing to do. On the other hand, your parents are not gonna be home in the next few hours, and since Joel’s room didn’t seem too close to yours to overhear anything…
You sigh in relief when you find the silky bag in your luggage that stores your sex toys, and pull out your favorite clit sucker without a moment of hesitation. Quick and dirty, that’s what you need right now, you decide as you get onto the bed. After a moment of hesitation, you re-open Instagram and scroll back to Joel’s page, while you reach for your AirPods in the hidden pocket of your dress.
His profile is clearly promotional for his company - Miller & Co -, and you vaguely recognize his brother Tommy in some shots, but fortunately the focus is mostly on him. When you click on Reels and see several videos of him at work, your heart starts racing, your mouth going dry while you feel the exact opposite happening in your panties. Fuck, he is so hot. If you thought the view you had while walking behind him was good, it sure is nothing compared to seeing him work on construction projects that show him flexing those muscles, jeans clinging desperately onto his thighs the way you would like your hands to do.
You’re stroking yourself already after the second video, and by the time you’re treated to the sight and sound of him lifting lumber with a grunt, you’ve got two fingers deep inside of your pussy. You whimper as you imagine he’s in your room watching you with those dark eyes. Your breathing grows heavy as you picture him getting on the bed, giving you that sexy smirk as he puts his head between your thighs so he can lick at your wetness. His bottom lip had tempted you from the start, and you just know it would feel so good as he’d circle your clit with his tongue.
You can barely suppress a moan as your hips buck up hard, and you press the toy closer against yourself, thrusting your slick fingers faster as you chase the release that’s close - so so very close already. What if he buried that stubble against your thighs, urging your fingers out of yourself so he could lick them clean, his lips closing around your digits as he’d suck on you. Brown eyes filled with desire, reflecting how much you want him too, and then the push of his tongue inside your cunt as he starts to eat you out.
You whisper his name quietly as your body starts to shake, hearing him moan contently as he works you up some more, then comes up for air, slipping two - no, three of his thick fingers roughly inside of you, just as demanding as his mouth is. “Good girl. Now come f’me.”
You gasp as the orgasm ripples through you, much faster than you expected, and you bury your face into your pillow so you won’t cry his name out loud. Before the waves of your orgasm have subsided, you flip yourself to your stomach as you keep the buzzing toy in place, grinding down harder on your fingers as you shudder from the overstimulation. Still you keep going, because it’s what Joel would do - you know it’s what he would want, tease you and push you to make you come again and again.
He’d make you cry his name out loudly, until you’re writhing against him like a feral cat in heat, desperate as you’re begging him for his cock so he can fuck you into the mattress, claiming you and demanding to own every part of you. His sweaty heavy body covering yours, lips and teeth drawing more gasps from you, until your head becomes completely devoid of any thoughts, only able to focus on how good he’s making you feel - how his thickness is throbbing inside of you, going deeper than anyone has been before, and you know that he’s about to ruin you for any other men, because it’s never going to be better than it is with him.
As your body convulses and you’re about to come again, you suddenly hear your name being called loudly from downstairs - not by Joel, but the shriller sound of your mom’s voice as she’s looking for you. It takes everything you have to restrain yourself from yelling angrily at the interruption, your mind and body at war with each other for a second, and you bite your lip hard as you mentally grab onto the fantasy of Joel, unwilling to let go of it - of him.
“Coming!,” you snap loudly, hoping that she won’t be able to hear the panting in your voice, or the buzzing toy in your hand. “Be right there!”
‘Good fucking girl. Such a dirty little slut for me,’ imaginary-Joel whispers at you, pounding into you, and you know he’s about to come too. “Give it to me again. Wanna feel you soak my cock,” the whisper changing into a low hiss that sends shivers down your spine. You bury your face even further into the pillow as you whine his name, begging him for more, to pump his seed into you and fill you up. He laughs, the sound hoarse and taunting, and then his hand grabs a hold of your hair and tugs your head back up. “No hiding. You scream my name when I make you come, you hear me?”, he grunts at you - and you bite your lip as you come hard again, soaking your fingers for a second time as the orgasm rocks you so much harder than the first one did.
Fuck. FUCK. You need him, every part of him, so goddamn bad.
next: part 2 >
🚨 Follow @longlongtime-updates for updates when new chapters drop!
A/N II: Thank you @magpiepills @legendary-pink-dot @lotusbxtch @sin-djarin @mountainsandmayhem
@qveerthe0ry @perotovar for encouraging me to write a wild idea that suddenly came to mind. This came together shockingly fast with ideas and feedback from all of them, so thank you babes for supporting and enabling me! Fic title is obviously snagged from Chappell Roan's 'Guilty Pleasure'!
#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#hotdilfsummerchallenge#joel miller smut#dbf!joel#tlou au
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I made it 22 days without an acute migraine attack and then the humidity and temperature spiked again and wrecked my streak*.
I will say if yesterday was a migraine it was a comparatively mild one that I managed to sleep through the worst of it.
Which seems to confirm that my debilitating daily migraines are being caused by screens (other than my phone which seems perfectly fine) and some damage in my neck which the PT and fancy pillow seems to be helping.
As soon as I sit down in front of any screen other than my phone, the pain starts to build behind my eyes and the nausea starts. So not doing that for a while.
I was enjoying not praying for death every day and I intend to keep it that way until I can afford a different screen.
Which will probably be a while considering I owe $3k to the ER for this month alone, plus whatever the fuck this MRI is going to cost on Friday.
I’m ready for this year to be over 🫠
——
*I don’t include the occipital neuralgia or low level headaches in this category so I was still in what many people would consider moderate to severe pain in my skull, but it wasn’t the searing pressure I get from migraines with the awful vomiting which nothing seems to stop.
I’ve got another follow up with neurologist in two months. I’m honestly not sure I liked her. She asked if I’d ever tried a chiropractor which set alarm bells off and tells me she didn’t read my fucking file and the whole bit about my neck being irrevocably fucked by a chiro.
She was willing to let me confer with my MCAS doctor before she prescribed Topamax (which I’m not keen on trying. Very few MCAS patients handle it well.) but only because I got the vibe she didn’t want to prescribe me anything other than PT and acupuncture.
She also kept pushing Botox which is not great if you have cranial instability like I do and can actually make it a lot, lot worse. Not to mention the MCAS risk. It was just a very blegh appointment, but at least it’s got me in their system now and I can maybe hop to another doctor at some point if necessary.
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HOW TO SMELL AN ENTIRE APPLE: A SHORT STORY
Inspired by this post by @thatnordicguy and @anphivenas
Step #0 - Input the molecular formula for apple scent into the chemosynthesizer. Check against standard atmospheric regulations.
Step #1 - Inhale from the olfactory vent.
Step #2 - Step away in dissatisfaction, shake your head, put your hands on your hips. Purse your lips a little bit. Document discrepancy against memory file.
Step #3 - Ask Arto why he thinks real apples smell different. Listen to him talk about dirt while he mops, even though hydroponics hasn't used soil in sixty years.
Step #4 - Adjust temperature to match hydroponic bay specifications. Modify humidity levels to Earth-standard apple growing conditions. Calculate optimal dispersal timing.
Step #5 - Spend three months adjusting the ratio of esters while the Father AI logs your overtime as "personal research."
Step #6 - Request access to historical apple cultivation records. Compare against current hydroponic yields that you keep insisting aren't quite right.
Step #7 - Accept illegal thermos coffee from Arto while explaining why you're trying to simulate apple stem rot. Ignore his comment about how your genetic mother used to sneak him fresh apples during maintenance shifts.
Step #8 - Visit the hydroponic bay during off-hours. Stare at perfectly engineered apple trees while holding your latest formula.
Step #9 - Get caught by Arto in the hydroponic bay. Pretend you're doing official atmospheric maintenance.
Step #10 - File your three thousandth chemical variation attempt while children from the education deck eat fresh apples during their biology lesson.
Step #11 - Listen to Arto's story about his great-grandmother's apple trees on Earth while pretending to calibrate environmental controls. Make detailed notes about soil composition that aren't relevant to hydroponics. Make a note to yourself to request synthetic dirt.
Step #12 - Run formula past the station's other atmospheric engineers. Ignore their suggestions that the hydroponic apples are chemically identical to your synthesis.
Step #13 - Request video logs from the hydroponics bay from 14 years ago. Watch your own face.
Step #14 - Realize you're no longer sure what real apples smell like. Spend a week comparing your formula against hydroponic samples (to get back to square one) while Arto watches silently.
Step #15 - Submit research proposal for expanded apple volatiles study. Receive approval with note: "Recreational research permitted within standard atmospheric duties."
Step #16 - Calculate that you've spent more time perfecting this formula than an Earth apple tree takes to mature. Continue adjustments.
Step #17 - Watch Arto retire from maintenance duties. Inherit his illegal thermos and refuse to acknowledge why you keep it.
Step #18 - Access archived footage of the education deck from your childhood. Focus on analyzing environmental conditions instead of your own face.
Step #19 - Visit Arto in the elder care deck. Bring him hydroponic apples that you both agree aren't quite right.
Step #20 - Find Arto's old maintenance logs with notes about the original hydroponic bay installation. Ignore the drawings in margins made by children who are now atmospheric engineers themselves.
Step #21 - Input your final formula into the chemosynthesizer. Tell yourself it's for the sake of documentation.
Step #22 - Inhale from the olfactory vent while holding a fresh apple from the hydroponic bay. Compare the two. Bite an apple. Chew. Swallow. Inhale.
Step #23 - Step away in satisfaction, shake your head, put your hands on your hips. Smile a little bit. File formula in public database under "standard atmospheric maintenance". Take a seat in your motorchair, satisfied. Rub your achey legs.
Step #24 - Watch new generation of children eat apples during their biology lesson.
Step #25 - Die.
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A historically and culturally significant lake in California's San Joaquin Valley that first disappeared in 1898 has returned after last year's atmospheric rivers flooded the region.
Tulare Lake, known as Pa'ashi — or "big water" — to the local Tachi Yokut Tribe, was "once the largest body of freshwater west of the Mississippi River," per Earth.com.
Vivian Underhill, who published a paper on Tulare Lake as a postdoctoral research fellow at Northeastern University, noted it was mostly sustained by snowmelt from the Sierra Nevada mountains and was 100 miles long and 30 miles wide at its peak.
The lake served as a key resource for Indigenous Peoples and wildlife and was once robust enough to allow steamships to transport agricultural goods throughout the state.
However, government officials persecuted and displaced the indigenous communities in the late 1800s to convert the area for farming through draining and irrigation.
"They really wanted to get [land] into private hands so that indigenous land claims — that were ongoing at that time — would be rendered moot by the time they went through the courts," Underhill told the Northeastern Global News. "It was a deeply settler colonial project."
While Pa'ashi periodically reappeared during the 1930s, '60s, and '80s, the barrage of atmospheric rivers California experienced in 2023 revived the lake despite the region receiving just 4 inches of rain annually. According to Underhill, Tulare Lake is now the same size as Lake Tahoe, which is 22 miles long and 12 miles wide.
Its resurgence has led to the return of humid breezes at least 10 degrees cooler than average and native species, including fish, amphibians, and birds. Lake Tulare was once a stopping point for migratory birds traveling a route known as the Pacific Flyway.
"Something that continues to amaze me is — [the birds] know how to find the lake again," Underhill told the Northeastern Global News. "It's like they're always looking for it."
The Tachi Yokuts have also returned to Pa'ashi's shores, once again practicing their ceremonies and planting tule reeds and native sage.
#submission#!!!#good news#lakes#Tulare Lake#Pa'ashi#big water#water#water is life#revitalization#anti colonialism#decolonization#nature#Tachi Yokut#indigenous peoples
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nation of two // oscar piastri
summary: a camping trip in perth, and a set of missing sleeping bags brings together a pair of childhood friends in a way neither of them had quite anticipated
pairing: oscar piastri x female reader
warnings: lando being a little shit, wee lil' age gap (reader is a year and a half older than oscar is), general outdoorsy activities, forced teambuilding. for all intents and purposes, this is in the very beginning of lando and oscar's time as teammates and they don't know each other well yet.
authors note: I was so tempted to make this a fic for a different fandom but knew y’all would hate me if I started dropping top gun fics out of nowhere instead of the f1 goodness you’ve come to expect, and then this prompt was just so perfect for oscar and now here we are
the australian sun beat down as she trekked up the rocky hiking trail, rugged outdoor shoes digging into the dirt and mud beneath her feet. sweat soaked through the back of her concert shirt, her black bucket hat concentrating all of the sun's rays on her scalp.
"jesus, piastri! how much further?" she whined, taking oscar's outstretched hand and allowing him to pull her up the trail.
oscar laughed, looking over and grinning at how ridiculous she looked with her massive backpack and sweat stained shirt, the hot pink of her sports bra showing through the white fabric underneath the words 'duran duran'.
"don't be such a baby!"
"i'm older than you!" she shreiked, feeling the burn in her legs as she rested her weight on the younger boy. "carry me the rest of the way?"
"no! you have to get to the lookout yourself."
she groaned, rolling her eyes. "then where are lando and will? i'll sit in the damn wagon if i have to. how are you not winded?"
she hadnt planned to even be here. oscar had phoned her late the night before, asking if she would be up for a hike. she'd agreed, searching for a reason to get out of the house. it wasnt like she had anything better to do.
she'd known oscar all her life. in elementray school, they waited for the big yellow bus at the same stop, and were in the same homeroom for most of secondary school with oscar taking advanced classes for his age and y/n sinking down a level in maths, despite oscar's many absences. their mothers were in the same knitting club, and many a night teenage oscar would apologetically come to her house and collect his wine-drunk mother from the knitting circle. (despite it all, she loved nicole. how could she not, the woman was an icon)
"because i'm an athlete and you're out of shape?" oscar guessed jokingly, prodding at the cute pudge of her stomach.
the action gave her butterflies, a feeling in her stomach that wasn't welcome when thinking about the younger man she was leaning against.
they'd always been friendly. too friendly, some may say, eyebrows raising when people heard about the age gap. what did a sophisticated older woman want with oscar piastri?
it was simple: she liked stupid men with hearts of gold. and so far, nobody had compared to the 21-year-old. she was 22, so the gap wasn't even that bad.
and oscar didn't really think she was out of shape. he might joke, but that small bit of pudge on her stomach was so adorable, like a kangaroo pouch in his head, and he dreamed about the day he could cuddle up behind her and wrap his arms around it, skin to skin between cotton sheets.
"shut up." she whined, relieved that the group had finally stopped. she flung down her badly-packed and underprepared rucksack and slumped against it, pulling her hat over her eyes. it was getting cooler, though still humid, as the sun began to sink below the horizon.
"i think it's time we think about making camp." mark webber suggested, stretching out his old man limbs, tapping the giant stick he held as a walking aid against a rock. "this is as good a spot as any. lando, do you have the sleeping bags?"
"do i have the sleeping bags?" lando repeated jokingly. "what kind of muppet do you think that i am? of course will and i have the sleeping bags!"
the mclaren driver sidestepped towards the wooden wagon, dramatically ripping back the tarp on top to reveal the cardboard tent box (which had been duct taped back together so many times that it was more tape than cardboard) and the clusters of rolled up sleeping bags.
one by one, lando and will started tossing the bags at the hikers. in almost no time at all, everybody had a sleeping bag.
well, everybody except y/n.
"oi, orlando, what the fuck!" she shouted, deliberately getting his name wrong. "where's my stuff?"
not looking sorry at all, lando shrugged his shoulders, eyes hidden underneath the brim of his bucket hat. "i guess i miscounted."
"you didn't miscount shit." she glared at him, using both of her hands to flash the man her middle fingers.
lando stifled a laugh, looking over at oscar. "are you sure she's the older one?"
"lando, shove off." oscar defended before turning to her. "my sleeping bag is a double, we'll be just fine. as long as lando hasn't lost the second tent."
y/n chuckled darkly, using the rock behind her to push herself to her feet. "the tent is in my rucksack. there's no way in hell that i'm sleeping on the dirt floor."
"princess." lando coughed into his fist, hoping that neither oscar or y/n noticed.
see, lando norris had a plan. a plan that was formed out of one too many rom com nights with his girlfriend, and an impatience born from watching y/n and oscar run circles around each other like horny dogs too nervous to get to humping.
the way lando saw it, hiding the sleeping bag was just going to help that along.
"anyways, im heading out." y/n sighed, getting to her feet and brushing the leaves and twigs off her thighs. "you freaks better not follow me into the woods and watch me piss."
oscar watched her leave with a dreamy expression as she pushed branches out of the way, stumbling over tree roots and branches. he saw her loose her footing in the mud , scraping the side of her knee on the tree bark.
"you okay?" oscar shouted, ready to jump into the woods after her.
"i'm fine!"
when she came back from the woods, legs slightly scratched up from the way she stumbled, hat dangling from the chinstrap around her neck and her sweat-matted hair falling down her shoulders. oscar was setting up the tent, shirtless as he hammered the tent stakes in place. all in all, the tent was fairly well constructed considering that oscar had done it all himself.
"so, your new teammate is a jackass." she laughed. "who suggested this trip?"
"i did. against my better judgment." oscar rolled his eyes, straightening up at dusting off his hands before peeling back the zipper door to the orange tent. "welcome to my humble abode. ladies first, your highness."
"oh, shut up." she laughed, her face turning pink as she ducked into the tent.
it was a large space, backlit by the battery powered lantern from oscar's rucksack. the soft yellow lighting made their shadows dance as she sat down on the double sized sleeping bag, unsure of what to do next.
they hadn't shared a bed since they were sixteen years old on a joint family trip to fiji and they had been so drunk that they fell asleep together on a sun lounger.
it's okay. you can do this.
"can i have the right side?" she asked timidly as oscar followed her in, zipping up the door behind him.
"knock yourself out." oscar said, avoiding eye contact as he reached into his backpack and passing her a bag of cheetos.
the proximity and the rising heat in the tent was starting to make him uncomfortable. no doubt he was also thinking about the sun lounger.
"i'm glad that you came. i missed spending time with you, y/n."
she laughed, popping the bag open and cursing when she spilled orange cheese dust on her leg. "me too. i've been at a loss lately. a crossroads, if you will. this is exactly what i needed to get out of my head."
"remember what mark said? leave your problems at the bottom of the mountain!" oscar laughed. "just put one foot in front of you and keep moving.''
she grinned, popping a crispy cheeto into her mouth. "easier said than done when thinking about the future paralyzes you."
oscar moved his body along the sleeping bag so that he was sitting directly next to her, his thigh touching hers. the sleeping bag took up most of the floor space, neither of them wanting to lean back, lest they cause the whole tent to topple over.
the feeling of his skin against hers made the hair on her arms stand up, goosebumps following in its wake.
"you'll figure it out. i know you will. have some faith in yourself."
the way the led lantern highlighted every pore, every contour of his skin should have been reserved for the film crew on fifty shades of grey. he looked so breathtaking in the dark that it had just that effect: taking all of her breath away. she felt like she'd been hit in the lungs, unable to think about anything except the greek god in front of her.
and she was going to have cheeto breath when she kissed him.
outside the tent, their silhouettes danced in the half light as she leaned towards him, lips moving to whisper something inaudible but that the aussie seemed to understand instantly, wrapping his hands around her waist to pull her closer.
and when oscar kissed her? she forgot all her worries, this airy feeling spreading throughout her body. the skin around their lips would be stained from the cheetos, as would the sleeping bag where the bag toppled over, but neither of them could find it in them to care, too lost in the others touch as oscar's calloused fingers ran up her t-shirt, gently squeezing the part of her stomach that made her the most self-conscious,
"you're beautiful. and smart. and brilliant. and i'm sorry that nobody has ever told you that." he whispered in his kiss, his tongue licking into her mouth. he growled at the taste of cheetos, something that was suddenly so much sexier than he had ever believed it could be.
"shut up." she blushed, kissing him again.
outside the tent, lando and will sat by a crackling fire, watching the embers rise in the air and wondering if the pair knew that the lantern allowed them to see everything through the tent walls.
"i knew he had it in him." lando laughed. "look at the little guy go."
"should we tell him about the lantern?" will chuckled, popping a marshmallow into his mouth.
"nah. they'll figure it out in a minute when we all start wolf whistling."
TAGS
@magnummagnussen @httpiastri @sidcrosbyspuck @twinkodium @thatsdemko @userlando @libraryofloveletters @diorleclerc @lorarri
#oscar piastri x reader#formula one x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#f1 x y/n
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