#like 'noooo give our daughter a chance :('

[bastardwhoisnamedrat]

people really do beg you not to transition! like i’m not asking YOU to go on t and go set up a million doctors appointments and find a therapist. that’s all shit i have to do. you just have to learn a different name bro

[royallygray]

On the way back from a trip, I watched Wall-E for the first time on the plane. I liveblogged it because i thought it would be great.

It was.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR WALL-E :D

also I am Not sorry for the typos

also I was using it/its for Wall-E and Eve and then I started using ae/aer for Wall-E and she/her for Eve just fyi

ANYWAYS ENJOY THIS THING

-- -- * -- --

2:20 what happened to my precious wind turbines???? :(

also tf is the song at the beginning

3:00 WALL E??? OMG THEYRE A RADIO BOI

wait this is literally the plot of my original story

LUNCH BOX

cricket :)

4:19 he's made a city out of trash :(

there is a baby crying on my flight :(

WERE ZOOMING

buy large gas???

04:57 wait so Wall-E is a brand of robot that cleans things? what's Eve gonna be im excited

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE CRICKET AND WALL E ARE BESTIES

turbulence on air :D

Wheeeeeeeeeee

05:10 there's a dead wall e :(

05:20 OH MY GOD THERES ABOUT TEN ZILLION DEAD WALL-E'S AA

NOOO

MY BOI :(

05:51 "too much garbage in your face? there's plenty of space out in space!" fuck you don't pollute space that's our space. Maybe not your space actually but it's MY space and don't put your stupid garbage in MY SPACE

07:15 aww fairy lights :D

TAPE :D ITS A RECORD TAPE :D

There's a spork in the lunchbox

why is there a rubix cube in the lunchbox

omg it's confused about whether the spork is a spoon or a fork :(

and it just put it on its own spot

like non-binary people :)

:( it wants someone to hold its hand :( it wants company :(

THE STARS

nope it was smog and the dust on the screen. rip

wtf is blowing up????

the cricket!!!!

09:57 it hibernates :(

and it swings itself to sleep :(

Wall-E needs some sun. go look at the sun, starshine :)

THE WALKING INTO THINGS IS REAL ASF WHY AM I RELATING TO A ROBOT

that's a nasty looking sun

POWER GAINED LETS GOOOO

NOOOOAOWJQJHW CRICEJT MY BELOVED NOOOOO

CRICKWT COME BACK

cricket is alive :DD

omg the bra 😭

it's a collecter :D

ping pong :)

ENGAGEMENT RING?? DAMN

IT JUST THREW AWAY THE RING AND KEPT THE CUSHION BOX 😭

FIRE EXTINGUISHER LMAOOO

PLANT :D :D :D

PLANT IN BOOT :D

CRICJET

wtf is the red light

I don't like that

what is it

what are ALL THE RED KIFHTS

IM SCARED

WALL E NOOOOOO

mans just dug dug dug dig diggity

wtf is that

id be scared too if I were wall e

is that the big ship that was there in the beginning

omg such a great disguise 😭

EVE :D

eve seems very tech advanced

OKG HEAVENLY

WALLES JUST LIKE "ITS ANOTHER CREATUEE :D"

bro all that pollution came down to deposit one robot

walle does not look comfy

FLY MY DARLING

windshield wipers??? in the eyes??? 😭

girlypop is a weapon

what do eves beeps mean???

NO CRICKET NOOOOO

CRICKET YOUVE BEFIRNSSD EVE

NO EVE DONT KKLL WALLE

eve wtf was that

are Wall-E and eve actually human size?? and it's just. idk

rip Wall-E they're going through it

what is eve even doing

also she's got anger management issues

me trying to get close to my moots

eve speaks :)

classified -_-

SHAEKNF NAMES :D :D :D :D

she laughs :D

eve NOOO

cricket??? where's cricket???

walle took you to its secret hideout you better be appreciative

cricker got a granola bar

oh she's ashamed that she broke it :(

BUBBLE WRAP :DDD

rubix cube

TAPE PLS WKRN :DDDD

YAY

EVE CHILL

YES DARLINF

wait no

chill girlypop

its got new eyes :)

walles like. raising their eyebrows

I'm gonna try to use neopronous for walle now because why not

ae/aer

LIGHTER

EVE NO

FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ae just wants to hold her hand

SHES ASCENDING

nOOOO she stole aer plant NOOOOOO

GIVE AER AER PLANT

GIVE AER AER PLANT

NO AER'S CRYING NOOOO

PEORECTION

electrocution

CHRIST.AS KJGHRS

OMG RHIS IS SO SWEET

WALL-E + EVE 😭 IM GONNA SOB NOOOO

AE JUST WANTS TO HILD HER HAND NOOOOO

EXCEPT SHE DOESNT HAVE HANDS ANYMORE

IM SADDDSD

wait there's a hand

it's just not mutual :(

THE MOONNN

NOOOOO

AE'S PLAYING PONG AGAINST AESELF :((((

8000 VS 0

it's cloudy with a chance of meatballs rn

lighter

NO EVE

DONT RAKE MT DAUGHTER AAAY YOU STIPID SPACESHIP

EVE MO

WALLE

FLY WALLE FLY

PROTECT CRICKET AND FLY

no there are multiple eves

RAKE OFFDFFF

WALLE HANG ON LITTLE ONE

the subtitles are just [Wall-E screaming] 😭

NOOO CRICKET IS ALONE NOW

CRICKET NOOOOO

wait why the fuck did they just destroy so many satellites wtf

oh earth looks NASTY

THAT IS ONE NASTY LOOKIN PLANET

WALLE NO

omg phew

AE FOUND EVE :D

MOON

MURICA 💪

SUN :D

just got all the solar power ever ae did

MILKY WAY :D

OMG CLOUD

it's the huge ass tech plane

axiom

bro how long did that take to fucking build

that thing is bigger than earth tf

gravity :)

EVE NO

Wall-E what are you doing

38:31 they're getting pissed off by Wall-E'S existence :(

39:20 that cleaning bot is PISSED

aww they just realized they can go off the lines :)

mate GET ON TOP OF HER (not in that way) pls just OMG ride the same cart. pls. do not get separated from her pls

those guys are right next to each other wtf

John

A is for Axiom your home I STG IF THIS IS WHAT EDUCATION IS FOR

A is for Apple, your iPads

B is for Best Buy, where you get your iPads

C is for idk. cock

lunch in a cup. I wanna die.

also the uniforms suck ass. those are worse than my elementary school ones.

Men? what's so good about men? why are they advertising men in a makeup place? where are they gonna appease men? on their chairs where they don't look at each other???

"try blue!" yeah you shouldve done that ages ago

actually that's a terrible shade of blue. even red is better than that shade of blue and that red makes me eyes hurt

it's actually a good shade of blue. just not for the jumpsuit things.

"every holo-date I've been on has been a virtual disaster" OMG that's actually such a great pun. writers of this I love this

Hi Mary :)

I do love how friendly the humans are. they're just chillin

also I adore how friendly Wall-E is. if someone got me a Wall-E plushie for my birthday I would marry them

maybe. hypothetically. probably not actually.

a113?

omg all the captains are dead

WAIT WALLE GET BACK TO EVE

OMG extraterrestrial vegetation?? YOU MEAN EARTH??? MOTHERFUKER???

bro he can't read 😭

I'm sad

OMG CAPTAINS GETTING AN EDUCATION LRTS GOOO

don't clean Wall-E ae's precious

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY WALL-E'S FACE 😭

eve looks so fucking bored

oh that shit fucking exploded

oh no

CHASE SCENE

WHY IS RHWRE AN UMBRELLA BOT 😭

eve is PISSED

she's so exasperated 😭

WHY DID THE CLEANING BOT STEAL HER SHOE

WTF????

WALLENOOOOOOOOO

THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER COMJBG IN CLUTCH YESSSSS

AAWWWWW YHEYRE HUGGING ASHAJAGDKWHNSSBNXS

was that a kiss

omg that was totally a kiss

omg that was adorable

how is there that much fire extinguisher in one can

AE'S got a surprising amount of control with flying

OMG MARY I LOVE TOU

MARY MARY I LOVE YOU

JOHN HI JOHNJI JOHN :D

OMG man and woman touch hands romance is alive

omg captains getting social stuff :D

THEYRE DANICJNG NI THE DIRE EXTINGUISHER

OMG THEYRE SO IN LOVE AWWWWWW

MARY AND JOHN ARE BESTIEE AWWWWWWWWW

They can't go back :(

70:36 "I don't want to survive. I want to live!" SLAY CAPTAIN

72:00 YOU KILL WALLE I FUCKING JILL TOU SQUARE UP AUTO YOU MOTHERFUCKER

NOOOOOOOOOO

NOOO THEYRE IN TRASH NO

NO wtf happened to Captain

NO SHE JUST GOT REPROGRAMMDD NO

wait did she? no she didn't thank God

omg it's giant Wall-E

ew

okay cleaning robot you've redeemed yourself ily

NO THEH KILLED THE TAPE

NOT THE TAPE NOOO

M-O

Mo ily

WHYD U THROW AWAY THE PLANT EVE

KEEP THE PLANT MAN

COME ON

YES ESCAPE DARLING ESCAPE YES EVE Y SO MUCH EVE YOUR THE BEST

OMG all the rogue robots are going together <33

REBEL CAPTAIN

NOOOOO NOT THE ONE BOT

wait where the hell are they getting oxygen if they don't have any plants

"John get ready to have some kids" Mary I love tou

Captain you can walk you can do it :D

YIPPEE

wait when the fuck did they learn how to walk

WALLE NO DONT DIE NOOOO

THEY ZOOMING

CALTAIN IS HAVING A FREAT TINE MAN

OMG THE FALAZY

CRICKET MY BELOVED:D :D :D

THEYRE HOMEEEEE

WALLES TRUCK NO

is there even any oxygen on Earth

when did theyearn to walk

eve pls just put aer In sun pls

OMG EVE YOURE THE BEST

UR FIXING AER

AHES FIXTING AER LET'S GO

PLS

PLS SOLAR PIWER PLS

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSDDSSSSSSSSSSSS

CRICKET

YOPPEE

WALLE EVE YES AJEKAUAKAHQKHAKAHAKABANSNAKLAPQHEMSVDNSBABSBBZKSJAKSSKKAAALAKBDNSBSJAKALAKSNABANAKAK

NO

SIES AE NOT DECLGNIZE HER

WALLE NO

WALLE :(

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AE LOST AER SOUL NOOOOO

NOIOOOOO

YES ELECTROCUTION

ELECTRIOCUTION

YES YES YES YES UES YES

KISS YES YES YES YES YES YES GES HES EHS GES

YES YES YESBBSJQNHDKAKAHDJSJAKDGWKJASNLAAJD

HANDS TES

AE'S FONNA SAY HER NAME

YES WVWNEHAJUAMJAKQQG FEW QKWyajlqshdnbdkavfvfa

EVE

WALLE YOURE ALUVE ILY SMHQJABSLQHSKAHQLAJAVD

CRICKET MO

BEAUTIFUTILN BUR

OMG I LIVE IT

OMG CAPTAIN I LIVE YUU I KIVE THIS I LOCE THIS I LOVE THIS I KIVE THIS TO LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I KCIE THIS ISJWIAKDBSMAALA

OH MY FOD RHEY RESTORUED EARTH HOLY DUFKJNG SHUT

RHERE ARE LKANTS HOLT SHIT THERES A SRAR AND ITS EVE KMF IM SOBBING XRHINF WKQKWJQOWMSEFJWHWHLDHWLQHDKZJALSBDKDNAKSJHDKSNSNSN

SHIP

OMG ITS OVER 😭 EGIWWJKSSHKQHSKWJQJAJWJQAJ

DIRT

OH MT GOD OH MT FOS OH MY DKS

EVE VUILDS A WELL???? OMG THE THLING BOT MAKES SEEDS DHAJSHSKSHKAQKQHALSHAKBSKAVAKAHWKQHKSWGKQBSNSABHZJANAISHAKQBQIWIDHAMALDHSNHWOWHSNFND XNSNALAKBLQKAHSJSNA x

fish come back alive???? thetles

[yakumtsaki]

So we all know that unlike his performances as a) a lover for Cyneswith b) an aspiring murderer, iVan’s performance as a servobot has been a complete flop. But worry not, cause now that he has a job, it’s gotten even worse!

-Ugh.

-UGH.

-UUUUUGHHHH -W̷H̶A̵T̶'̷S W̵R̴O̸N̴G J̶O̴J̵O̷🧟 -This isn’t your job, it’s iVan’s job!  -I̵ D̵O̷N̸'̷T M̸I̶ND, C̸O̷C̷K̷R̴O̸A̸C̶H̴E̴S AR̴E T̸A̶S̷T̸Y🧟 -Well I do mind, I’m getting carpal tunnel on my rotting bones from all this housework!  -I̴ H̴A̶V̶E R̷O̶T̸T̵I̶N̸G B̷O̶N̴E̴S T̵O̷O🧟 -Yes Sandy, I know, maybe if you laid off the constant zombie talk you’d be able to keep a man. -M̴E̵A̶N̴🧟 -It’s time to have a stern talk with iVan!!

-𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴, 𝙱𝙾𝙾𝙶𝙸𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙰𝙰𝙰𝙰𝙰𝙽𝙳🎵 -iVan, we need to talk.  -𝙸 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙳 𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝙸 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝙸𝙽 𝙱𝙾𝙾𝙶𝙸𝙴 𝚆𝙾𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙰𝙰𝙰𝙰𝙰𝙽𝙳🎵 -Yea as long as your not finding it with my daughter, now listen- -𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙼𝙴 𝙹𝙾𝙹𝙾. 𝙸 𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝙳𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝙾𝙱𝙾𝚃. -FINE. Now look, you are my prized scientific achievement and I’m very proud of you for developing self-awareness and all that crap, but you’re not fulfilling the basic purpose of your creation and it’s completely unacceptable! -𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝚁𝚈, 𝙸 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙰𝙽 𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙰 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃.

iVAN ARE YOU KIDDING ME

-𝙸 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚈𝙴𝚃 𝙳𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙳 𝙰 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚂𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝙷𝚄𝙼𝙾𝚁. 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙸𝙵 𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝙻𝙻 𝙴𝚇𝙲𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙼𝙴 𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚈 𝙸𝚂 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳.

Oh, so THIS you can do! It’s unbelievable how useless everyone in this house is. 

-Not me, I got promoted again AND I got a chance card bonus!

NICE, how much?

-$1300!

Stop wasting my time, will you? This isn’t generation 1.

FAMILY LAW? Are those big bucks coming from Sugar’s divorces??

-They sure are!

-I got a promotion and a bonus too, but that’s not the only thing I brought back from work! 

It better not be Sugar’s next wife!

-No no, relax-

-It’s just a cold that’s gonna become endemic to our household for the next 20 years! 

Oh wow Sophito, that was really the only thing missing around here, you’re the best!

-WOOOO MY TWO UNHOLY CREATIONS FIGHTING TO THE DEATH!!! ANOTHER PROUD DAY FOR SCIENCE 

-Now listen here little daytime wolf, you tell your boss that I will give him Sophito and Liz’s baby once it’s born, ok? 

JOJO

-What? I’m not ACTUALLY going to do it!

Aren’t you??

-Of course not, what kind of patriarch do you think I am? 

The kind that hates all his children? 

-Oh please, can you blame me??

Good point.

It’s time for Moody to leave us💔

-DADDY NOOOO

-Goodbye Servilia darling, I’m off to join your mother in Heaven! 

That’s so sweet, Valentina is definitely in Hell💔 RIP Moody, you were the first and probably last good dog we ever had, we will miss you terribly💔

I don’t even have time to mourn Moody’s passing as I get this pop-up and it turns out NEON VEST IS BACK HERE AGAIN AND FIGHTING DON. WTF

-WAAAAAH -That’s right bitches, there’s a new psycho spurned lover in town! I’m gonna handle this rejection so poorly it will make Jack Do look like Claire!! 

-FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! -WOOOOO -Liz did you just get your first bump?? -Omg I did!  -That kid is gonna be a fighter!!

Oh please GOD NO. 

-GET REKT NEON VEST  -MY NAME IS AIDEN AND BEFORE THIS IS OVER YOU WILL ALL LEARN IT!!

We don’t WANT to learn it, just stop showing up here! 

-NEVER. I WON’T GIVE UP UNTIL CYNESWITH GIVES ME MY FIRST KISS

What??

OH MY GOD AIDEN WHY WOULD YOU ATTEMPT THIS AGAIN

-Um, do I know you, huhu?🌸 -We banged in the Downton hot tub!  -You’ll have to be a lot more specific💗

Omg it’s Wyatt! He hasn’t shown up in ages, man even as a ghost you’re lazy as fuck.

-Jòjò? Jòjò, c’est timeoix tò joiné moi!

Ya it’s beyond time, Wyatt, but unfortunately we’re in the middle of another wolf party:

-Ok wolf, enough is enough! Tell me how much money you want to bite me and it’s yours!! Just give me a number!!!

-ARE YOU TRYING TO BRIBE ME WITH MONEY? IT DOESN’T EVEN TASTE GOOD🐺

-Well you can buy whatever meats you want with it!!

-I DON’T SUPPORT THE MEAT INDUSTRY, THAT’S WHY I ONLY EAT HUMANS🐺

-What?

-YA I’M AN ANIMAL MEAT VEGETARIAN🐺

-CALL ME WHEN THAT BABY IS BORN🐺

NO HE WON’T. You won’t, right?

-Of course not! Probably.

-WOOO ANOTHER FIGHT  -GO iVAN, KICK DON’S DUMB ASS -I’M SO EXCITED BY ALL THIS VIOLENCE I SERIOUSLY MIGHT GIVE BIRTH

LIZ HOLD THAT BABY IN UNTIL JOJO IS A WEREWOLF

The night of bloodshed continues as Dobronega beats up Kitana. What is it with all our pets beating up their own children?

-DON’T EVER AGAIN QUESTION IF MY SCAR IS REAL, GOT IT, YOU LITTLE FLOP??

Klaus aren’t you just so excited about Dobrie becoming your mother in law? 

-I’m old now!

You look so cute!!

-Well don’t be deceived because I’m still a force of pure evil!!! Now where’s Cyneswith, I want my belly kisses!!!

-I’M HOOOOOOOOOME🌸

Cut that ‘ME’ out and the statement still stands! So I actually had Cyn re-get her slacker job after she got fired on the first day (lol) because I figured ‘aging professional party guest’ was super in character-

-plus the less she’s home, the less we’ll have of this shit! I’M TIRED

I’m also tired of delusional moron Sophito, who apparently saw everything Sandy is suffering and went ‘I gotta get in on that’.

-So tell me Sandy, does being a double zombie feel different than being a regular zombie?? -B̵R̸A̸I̷N M̶O̵R̵E R̸O̴T̴T̴E̶N̵🧟

See Soph, you’re already there!

Case in point!

-Can you believe it babe, I got my second bump! -Oh darling, let’s stand even closer to that beautiful glow of the burning floor so I can admire you! 

iVAN. WHY. 

-𝙸'𝙼 𝚃𝙸𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙺.

THEN WHY ARE YOU COOKING

-𝙱𝙴𝙲𝙰𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙸 𝙰𝙼 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝚄𝚃𝙻𝙴𝚁.

Right! Funny how you’re only the butler when it’s time to start fires! 

-i̵V̴A̴N̷ Y̵O̷U F̷U̸C̷K̶I̴N̵G L̸U̷N̷A̶T̴I̷C, I̵'̷M̷ N̶O̴T̴ D̴Y̷I̷N̵G A̵ T̷H̷I̸R̸D T̴I̸M̴E🧟 -𝙾𝙷 𝚈𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴.

Ok everyone shut up, it’s wolf party time, you’ll tank the score!

-Come on, wolfie, bite me.. Look at these beautiful bony fingers.. You couldn’t get meat this delicately aged if you ate a mummy.. -SORRY JOJO OUR RELATIONSHIP ISN’T HIGH ENOUGH. TIME FOR ME TO LEAVE, IN TURN LEAVING YOU DICK IN BONY HAND🐺

FUCKING HELL ALREADY. HOW HIGH DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP NEED TO BE

-At least as high as mine and my only son’s is! I love you, Sophito!💗 -Mom PLEASE think about this. How can he be your son when his name is SOPHITO -What? It’s a cute name I picked, huhu!🌸

-OK THAT’S IT, MY NEXT DIVORCE CAN’T COME SOON ENOUGH -Yes, my death can’t come soon enough either. 

Agreed.

LOOKS LIKE FUCKING DAGMAR BERTINO’S DEATH IS COMING SOONER THAN EXPECTED THO LOLOL. GET HER MOODY ILY (and I love that this mod apparently allows ghosts to appear in daytime if the storm is bad enough???)

-I SOILED MYSELF!!!

Just like I used to soil myself when we were broke and you showed up with bills! Karma’s a bitch but Servilia isn’t, look at her getting along with Xander! Finally something nice around here-

-OMG IT’S TIME. YOU CAN DO IT, LIZ

-GET OUT YOU LITTLE BASTARD, GET OUT

-Liz no pressure but once it gets out, wanna do it?

Sophito istg..

It’s a girl and a GINGER. RECESSIVE GENES STRIKE BACK AFTER 2 GENS WTF

-Who cares?! It’s my beautiful perfect baby no matter what!  -I care! Now that the baby has my hair color I can’t give it to the wolf!  -Jojo what are you rambling about? -Nothing Liz, congratulations!  

I name the bebecita Felina because a) Sophie’s Spanish heritage b) we are cat people c) I’m going through a deranged cowboy phase and was listening to this. Welcome to the world, Felina, how exciting that generation 5 is here, nothing is gonna overshadow this special moment- 

-AIDEN WTF. WHY ARE YOU HERE

-YOU KNOW WHY I’M HERE. GIVE ME MY FIRST KISS, CYNESWITH! YOU DEFLOWERED ME WITHOUT KISSING ME, THIS CANNOT STAND   -Um, hard pass, but I will accept a flirt with both my husband and robot lover present!💗

CYN NO

-CHEATING ON ME DURING A BIRTH? THIS IS A NEW LOW, CYNESWITH -I know right? Huhu!🌸

-𝚆𝙴 𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝙶𝙾𝚃 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙾𝙶𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙱𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝙼𝚈 𝙼𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙱𝙾𝙰𝚁𝙳 𝙰𝙶𝙰𝙸𝙽? -I’m so sorry iVan, it just happened, I never meant to cause all this drama just to take attention away from that stupid newborn baby!💗

Ok then. As far as our births go this was one of the more successful ones, at least no one died!

-I hate this family. Goo goo. 

Everyone does, you’ll fit right in💛

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

The Different Group Chats part 1

{Part 1} [Part 2]

Diamonds:

BlueDiamond- Marinette 

BrownDiamond- Mireille

GreenDiamond- Marc 

Cheng Main Family:

MamaOrso- Sabine

TopChef- Wang

Matriarch- Nuba (Their Grandmother)

Heiress- Lian (Marc’s mother)

Tiāncái- Mei (Mireille’s mother)

Adrinette/Girls GC:

PinkBean- Rose

PurpleBean- Juleka

BossFox-Alya 

TrueBeauty-Lila

WhyAmIHere- Alix 

LoveBug- Mylene

A group chat AU I thought of this will involve only the Miraculous Ladybug show, with very minor mentions of other shows. Some backstory information I feel are important. Marinette, Marc, and Mireille are cousins in this through their mothers; Sabine, Lian, and Mei. Marinette is Chinese, Italian, and French, Marc is Chinese and French, and Mireille is Chinese, Japanese, and French. This is not Adrinette, I decided to give Lukanette some love!

                                                   Diamonds

                                                    10:46 am

BlueDiamond: Do you think I could get away with it?

GreenDiamond:????

GreenDiamond: Mar? Get away with what?

BrownDiamond: Depends. Are you doing it by yourself, with us, or are you going to call Bāchan’s right hand?

GreenDiamond: Mir? Wait why would Mar call Fengge? 

                                                  11:07 am

GreenDiamond: Hey! You two respond already!

BrownDiamond: Calm cousin, calm. Mar is contemplating taking care of Lila Rossi, you know the girl that threatened her in the bathroom.

GreenDiamond: Oh.

GreenDiamond: WAIT!!!1!

GreenDiamond: No fair! She can’t call Fengge I called dibs on ruining Rossi!

BrownDiamond: Mar gets the final decision, after all she is the one being targeted.

BlueDiamond: I am not calling Fengge, I don’t want her dead, I just want to ruin her future. Besides Fengge would call Nonna, and I’d rather not take the chance of us being pulled out of school.

BrownDiamond: Very true, but I doubt Bāchan would pull us out. Lila is only a minor threat and she knows we can definitely handle her. If the snake goes too far however, she will step in.

GreenDiamond: Tru…

BrownDiamond: Stop butchering words or else.

GreenDiamond: Common little cuz be traught.

*BrownDiamond took a Screenshot of chat*

BrownDiamond: I am showing my Kachann.

BlueDiamond: She did warn you.

GreenDiamond: D’: NooOo dont message auntie!!!1!!

BrownDiamond: Already sent.

GreenDiamond: You hate me.

                                                  Cheng Main Family

                                                            11:38 am

Tiàncái: First, return to your lessons. Second, Marc the penthouse at 4 exact. After reading those texts I’ve decided you need a two hour lesson.

BrownDiamond: Yes Kachann.

BlueDiamond: Sorry Auntie.

GreenDiamond:Understood Auntie.

TopChef: How bad was it?

Tiàncái: Worse than you fake butchering other languages to mess with others.

MamaOrso- My Marinette was not a part of it correct?

Tiàncái- No just our nephew sister.

Heiress- Why am I not surprised, at least he is only doing it with his cousins.

Matriarch- My Diamonds know that they are not allowed to butcher languages like their Great Uncle in front of others. I would not worry too much, my darlings. Now all of you return to work. I have a meeting to attend.

MamaOrso- Yes Māmā

Tiàncái- Understood, have a good meeting.

Heiress- I will see you later Māmā.

TopChef-Talk to you all later my girls.

                                                  Diamonds

                                                     1:13 pm

BlueDiamond: Juleka and Rose are sitting with me in the back now.

BrownDiamond: Oh?

BlueDiamond: Yes they came up and apologized to me during lunch. They both asked for a chance to earn my trust again.

GreenDiamond: And your decision Mar?

BlueDiamond: I am giving them a second chance, both apologized and explained why they didn’t choose sides. No information about Lila too, she is making big promises. For instance she told Kitty Section she’d introduce them to Jagged Stone.

BrownDiamond:...Isn’t Juleka Jagged’s daughter?

BlueDiamond: Yes.

BrownDiamond: Oh no.

BlueDiamond: What?

GreenDiamond: This is Miss Mendeleiev both of you return to your lessons and put your phones away.

                                                  1:28 pm

BrownDiamond: Nice job Marc, next time control your laughter.

BlueDiamond: Really?

                                                  2:49 pm

BlueDiamond: Mir go out for ice cream? We can go find André.

BrownDiamond: Well I don’t have to be in the studio today and was only planning to hang out with friends. Can we invite some others?

BlueDiamond: Oh definitely! I’ll ask Rose, Juleka, and Luka!

BrownDiamond: I am just going to invite Aurore and Jean.

BlueDiamond: Hoping to get complimentary cones cousin dearest?

BrownDiamond: Shut up I just like his face.

BlueDiamond: Don’t you lie to me. You have attended every single magical show he has done, and even promoted him once on MAC’s Twitter.

BrownDiamond: Shut up, your one to talk Mar. Who do you have a crush on, Model boy or Guitar boy?

                                                  3:10 pm

BrownDiamond: Mar?

BrownDiamond: Did I upset you?

BrownDiamond: Marinette?

BlueDiamond: Sorry

BlueDiamond: No you did not upset me. Lila pointed out I was texting and Bustier started lecturing me on being a good role model.

BrownDiamond: Sorry, my locker in five?

BlueDiamond: Mhm, see you soon.

GreenDiamond: I got my phone back!

GreenDiamond: Unfair! You guys can’t get ice cream while I’m stuck in lessons!

BlueDiamond: [Image.png]

GreenDiamond: Why’d you send me a picture of you and Mir looking around???

BrownDiamond: Trying to find the fucks we give…

GreenDiamond: ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

BlueDiamond: Ew. Stop.

GreenDiamond:༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

BlueDiamond: Ugh.

Private Messaging

Nathaniel and Marc

                                                  3:11 pm

LifePartner: Marc can we talk today? It’s about Marinette.

Rainbow: …

Rainbow: I have a two hour lesson starting at four. Meet me on the Pont Des Arts at 6:30.

LifePartner: I’ll be there Rainbow, see you later.

                                            Diamonds

                                               4:20 pm

BrownDiamond: Not.A.Word.

BlueDiamond: Burnt caramel for his eyes, and cotton candy for his unique tricks~ Blackberry for her beautiful hair, and black walnut for her unusual connections.

BrownDiamond: One, perhaps we should be concerned with what André seems to know about us.

BrownDiamond: Two, Blue moon for his hair and eyes, and super madness for his crazy life, Blackberry for her hair and cherry with chips for her secret.

BlueDiamond: Mmm André is a meta I wouldn’t worry his love is ice cream and bringing soulmates together.

BlueDiamond: Luka has confessed to me though, I told him I wasn’t ready.

BrownDiamond: Still stuck on Adrien?

BlueDiamond: No

BlueDiamond: I thought he’d take my side when he said that we were in it together. The moment he didn’t speak up when I was expelled pretty much made that crush, crash.

BlueDiamond: He is sweet but he has been too sheltered, he is trying to treat Lila like she is a tabloid.

BrownDiamond: You are not wrong. So...Luka?

BlueDiamond: Yea, I’m thinking Luka.

                                           Private Messaging

                                           Jagged and Luka

                                                    4:24 pm

Luka: Dad how did you get Penny to fall in love with you?

Jagged: I ask myself that every single day kiddo. Every single day.

Luka: I’m screwed.

Jagged: Marinette?

Luka: Marinette.

Jagged: Penny says to just be yourself! My rockstar Mari is a smart girl and her crush on the Agreste boy has slowly disappeared...yes it would be very rock an roll to have her as a daughter-in-law. That’s it Luka! You have to win Marinette’s heart over!

Luka: You’re not helping Dad.

                                      Private Messaging 

                                       Penny and Luka

                                               4:47 pm

Penny: Stop asking him Luka.

Penny: Just be yourself, Marinette would never want you to change yourself. Give her a little more time and just be there for her.

Luka: Thanks Penny, how did Dad win you over anyway?

Penny: ...I have a thing for loud sometimes idiotic men.

Luka: Awe, I am never telling him that.

Penny: I’m joking, I’m joking one night he rolled over and was just barely awake. He didn’t know I was awake, he whispered that I was the love of his life and that he wished his mom had a chance to meet me.

Luka: Awe. I’m telling Marinette that.

Penny: Oh, definitely would get you brownie points, she loves sweet love stories.

                                                    Adrinette

                                                     6:39 pm

Group name changed from Adrinette to Girls GC

Lila Rossi added by BossFox

BossFox changed Lila Rossi to TrueBeauty

BossFox: Hey girls I decided to make this the drama free girls group chat.

PurpleBean: Drama free???

PinkBean: Why not create a new group chat than Alya? Also if this is the girls group chat where is Marinette?

BunnxXx changed name to WhyAmIHere

BossFox: Like I said drama free girls

TrueBeauty: Awe Alya! You added me to a group chat where I don’t have to worry about upsetting Marinette!

TrueBeauty: That’s so sweet!!

WhyAmIHere: Alya this is our get Mari with Sunshine boy gc.

TrueBeauty: Alya you haven’t told them yet?

BossFox: Don’t worry Lila I just wanted you to be here when I did!

BossFox: Girls we are canceling Adrinette.

LoveBug: What? Why?

BossFox: I was telling Lila about all our attempts and how ‘in love’ with Adrien Marinette is. Well Lila pointed out that everything she is doing are red flags for a stalker!

LoveBug: What?! But Marinette would never!

PinkBean: Are you serious?

WhyAmIHere: Oh boy.

TureBeauty: No listen please, I’m not lying!

TrueBeauty: Alya told me everything she has done! She has his entire schedule, pictures of him all over her wall, one he doesn’t even know exist! She has stolen his phone before and is constantly trying to get alone time with him! Not to mention she has planned out their life with two kids and a hamster!

TureBeauty: She is stalking Adrien and convinced you guys to help her!

LoveBug: Oh my gosh 

LoveBug: I can’t believe 

LoveBuv: All this time Marinette has been

WhyAmIHere: Alright ya-no I’m so done.

WhyAmIHere: First of Marinette HAD a crush on Adrien. One that you blew out of proportion Alya.

BossFox: What?!

BossFox: I did not!

WhyAmIHere: You were constantly trying to force her into telling Adrien when she clearly wasn’t ready, and always dragging us into helping set up ‘dates’

WhyAmIHere: Two Marinette is a fashion designer. Have you seriously never noticed all the pictures are right above when she works on designs? They are a part of her fashion board Alya.

WhyAmIHere: Also the part with the phone, I’m hello? Marinette has always been like that, she does it when she’s half asleep most of the time. But in the end she always returns the person's phone before the end of the day!

WhyAmIHere: Also we have all seen those photos, if Marinette was seriously stalking him don’t you think the pictures would be inappropriate? They are either from magazines or from class outings.

LoveBug: Alix you have to admit it is a little weird that Marinette has gone this far

LoveBug: Lila is a model too and she knows so many famous people. I have no doubt she knows more about stalking than we do.

WhyAmIHere: srs.

TrueBeauty: Alix you have to listen to me! Marinette is sick and she needs help or else she’ll be a danger to Adrien and us!

WhyAmIHere: No. I’m done. Marinette is just a teenager with a CRUSH and you are just blowing it out of proportion.

Alix Kubdel has left Girls GC.

TrueBeauty: Rose Juleka you believe us right?

TrueBeauty: Please Mari really needs help!

PinkBean: No we don’t…

BossFox: WHAT!?

PurpleBean: We don’t believe you. Besides, Marinette barely has a crush on Adrien anymore. I’d ask if you’ve seen her room but she stopped inviting you up Alya.

PinkBean: And she doesn’t like Lila so Lila has never even seen her room.

BossFox: It isn’t like you guys would actually know anything! Just after school today Marinette threatened Lila to stay away from Adrien! And she got physical!

LoveBug: oh gosh! Lila are you okay?

TrueBeauty: Alya! I didn’t want anyone to know!

BossFox: But they need to know Lila especially since they keep siding with her!

PinkBean: Really?

PinkBean: When after school?

TrueBeauty: She attacked me around 4 today!

PurpleBean: oh rlly?

PinkBean: That doesn’t make sense though because Marinette was with us today at four. We left the school together.

TrueBeauty: This is what I was afraid of! Marinette has twisted you two into lying for her! See Alya this is why I didn’t want anyone to know!

BossFox: Don’t worry I’ll handle this girl.

Juleka Couffaine was removed by BossFox.

PinkBean: Alya?! Really?!

Rose Lavillant was removed by BossFox.

BossFox: Alright girls we have to help keep Adrien safe from his Stalker!

LoveBug: I’ll tell Ivan, I’m sure him and the other boys will be more than happy to help!

TrueBeauty: oh I don’t know what I would do without you girls!

                                                   Diamonds

                                                    8:15 pm

BlueDiamond: Alix just showed up at my house with Calendula Pink Surprise.

GreenDiamond: Oh? Tikki must be in love.

BlueDiamond: She is, hasn't left the plant since I placed it in my room. I’d send a picture but she obviously wouldn’t show up.

BrownDiamond: Pray tell cousin dearest why did she gift you with flowers?

GreenDiamond: Mir is having another Pride and Prejudice movie marathon…

BrownDiamond: It is a gift to the world!

BlueDiamond: Yes yes one of the best books out there we know.

BlueDiamond: She apologized for everything, also, she may know I’m Ladybug.

BrownDiamond: Well duh, Calendula? Ladybugs love those flowers.

BlueDiamond: She told me that she honestly just thought it was a little rivalry between Lila and me. That is until Alya made a group chat purposely excluding me.

GreenDiamond: Really?

BlueDiamond: Mhm, she said it would be their ‘drama free’ group chat. Not the beat part though.

BrownDiamond: Go on, I've got my movie paused.

BlueDiamond: Apparently I am stalking Adrien and they need to protect him from me.

GreenDiamond:...

BrownDiamond:...

BrownDiamond: My god Marc I can hear you from my room, breathe! 

BlueDiamond: I thought the penthouse walls were soundproof?

BrownDiamond: They are.

GreenDiamond: cant breathe

BlueDiamond: I’ve done it.

BlueDiamond: I’ve killed our cousin.

BrownDiamond: Sometimes I wished you’d live here with us Mar.

BlueDiamond: I am thinking about it.

BlueDiamond: Mama and Papa have told me before I can, and it’ll be much easier to avoid Alya.

BrownDiamond: [Image.png]

BlueDiamond: oh my gods breathe

BlueDiamond: is that..

BlueDiamond: Is that Nathaniel’s hoodie?

BrownDiamond: he has rolled over and hid his face in his pillow.

BrownDiamond: Should I tickle the information out of him?

BlueDiamond: hmm permission granted

BrownDiamond: [Video]

BlueDiamond: Awe Marc!!

BrownDiamond: I am outraged he has been dating you for so long and never asked our permission!

BlueDiamond: Mireille give Nathaniel a break, besides not many people know that we are cousins

GreenDiamond: Actually he didn’t know until tonight that we are. Also Mar, expect something from him soon, he knew the truth but didn’t know how to apologize to you.

BrownDiamond: So he is the reason you left the penthouse so quick after your lessons!

GreenDiamond: Shut up Mir!

BlueDiamond: Get some sleep you two, I’ll talk over moving to the penthouse with Mama tomorrow.

BrownDiamond: Goodnight Mar

GreenDiamond: Wait really?!

GreenDiamond: Mar!!

GreenDiamond: You torture me so!

BrownDiamond: Go to sleep Marc.

GreenDiamond: Fine I’ll just ambush her tomorrow.

[tedturneriscrazy]

🎶Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door🎵

I wonder if anything will happen in this episode.🙂

(I say as if I didn't watch the episode twice before going to bed and writing this post)

I don't think I'll ever not be amused by the way Hooty just...does things with his face

Seems like he found a thesaurus at some point

Okay so it's canonically spelled "Hootsifer," good to know

Also, this is really all we get of Lilith, huh?

His little hoot/coo at Lilith's letter❤❤❤

To borrow a meme format: If I had a nickel for every time Alex Hirsch was involved in a show where one of the characters was experiencing pubescent voice cracks, I'd have two nickels, which isn't very much but it's weird that it happened twice

Eda's face🤣

As much as this bit is played for laughs, Eda's clearly still shaken by what happened last episode

Jeez, Luz, priorities /j

Pictured: Hooty

The way King talks about being pelleted implies this is something Hooty does on the regular

Hooty's plan to help King is literally a Buzzfeed quiz? Okay then

Betcha never expected lore from Hooty, eh?

"DO NOT INTERRUPT"

Officially a "type of worm"

The dance being a grievous insult wasn't exactly from nowhere, but still funny nonetheless

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING COCCOON

Tiny Nose playing Switch definitely seems to be drawing from Dana's real life experiences

Wait, Hooty and Tiny Nose are friends?

Well shit, turns out she could use magic this whole time. Guess her going Super Saiyan wasn't just the power glyph.

I am extremely skeptical of your medical credentials, TN

I have so many questions about the methodology they used for the blood test(s)

I think Hooty may have misinterpreted what King was looking for

I'm still amazed at how King has had, and continues to have, moments in the show with some of the greatest emotional weight

Ooh, sound powers!

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRUMBLE!!!"

It just occurred to me that that segment consisted mostly of Alex Hirsch talking to himself

Hello not-at-all obvious setup

Today I learned that Hooty is the baker of the house. Maybe he'd critique Amity's fairy pie.

Aaaaand there's the sleep inducing

Oh shit

In hindsight the Owl Beast being part of a dream sequence is rather obvious

Wow, Eda, tell us how you really feel about the Owl Beast

Oh we're just gonna ride aboard the Trauma Express today, huh?

Oh, I guess Lilith did make an appearance, after all

Damn, Gwen, not even looking

Oh shit dad issues

Sandy Cohen?! (To anyone who gets that reference, hi. How are your 30s treating you?)

Well, I know who Peter Gallagher voices now, anyway

Oh dear...

(Also, bright flashing lights triggering the curse? There's an epilepsy allegory in here somwhere)

Blood and eye injury? Gotta stretch that Y7 rating

Now we have some context for that look on Eda's face when Lilith mentioned their dad: good old fashioned guilt!

I desparately want to make a "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" joke, but I'm better than that

New memory! Raine!

Oh no...

I get the feeling I'll hate this part, too

They were exes!😢 Guess the fandom called that one

The reasoning for them being exes is understandable, all too real, and goddamn heartbreaking

That said, the fact they never stopped loving each other🥺😢😭

I do hope we can see Raine again under less...traumatic circumstances. Maybe that wedding that was mentioned?

Oh shit, are we getting into the Owl Beast's memories?!?! What a tweest!

Bet nobody expected Cloaked Moonface to show up in the frickin Hooty episode

(Also, holy shit I briefly forgot this was the Hooty episode)

Who is this mysterious cloaked figure? And why are they so tall and long?

So the curse was a sealed beast this whole time. Damn.

And it was just picked up as beach junk to sell as a trinket. So much for it being connected to Belos. (Not that people will stop trying to do so)

Who had "experiencing sympathy for the Owl Beast" on their Bingo cards for this episode? Yeah, me neither.

And here we have the necessary Eda coming to terms with her curse segment. More accurately, Eda and the curse coming to terms with each other.

Goddamnit why does it have to be cute

"It's like sandpaper" IT'S LIKE A CAT I FUCKING CAN'T

Insert Steamed Hams reference here to kill the mood

New transformation!

Oh no she's hot!

No, Hooty, you made it surprisingly much, much better!

She might have a problem pushing people away and holding onto guilt, but Eda always knows that she looks damn good

Oh right, Luz having girl problems. Fuck, so much is happening in this episode!

"Cotton-candy-haired Goddess" LUZ! 🤣

Attuned to other people's emotions = being a fucking creeper

Oh Luz, what happened to you back home?

Also, 99.999% certain Amity would love your cheesiness

That's...rather morbid, Hooty

So much lore development, including the fact the Owl House has a basement

Classic inanimate object silhouette fakeout gag. Subversion in 3...2...1...

There it is!

I can't imagine being pelleted is a fun experience.

Honestly I have so many questions about how Hooty got Amity there in the first place, but I'm not so sure I actually want to know the answers to any of them...

Cue much panicking

Wow, I'm really getting some Into the Bunker flashbacks

Oh this is gonna be amazing isn't it

I commend Luz for not actually dropping dead of embarrassment

Seriously, how can Hooty set all this up so fast yet not hold a pen?!?!?!

Poor Luz, she thinks this is destroying her chances

Meanwhile Amity is just "Oh, Titan, is this actually happening?!"

The way she's fixing her hair!❤

Goddamnit Luz let this play out, she's so clearly into this!

"Again?!" Okay who do I have to kill?

Luz is luzing it

Nooooooo....

JUST TALK FOR FUCK'S SAKE (aka how like 95% of issues in literally any plot could be solved)

Noooo Amity's so heartbroken right now💔

This isn't what either of them wanted!

To be fair, Hooty, Luz had a part in this too. Not that she can be blamed entirely. Poor thing clearly had some awful experiences back home...

Now Hooty is McFucking losing it

Why did I think he was gonna say "Looks like I'm gonna have to JUMP!" I think I've watched too much Homestar Runner (jk there's no such thing)

Those pulsating organs are still gross

Eda swooping in to save her son (No, really, he actually is now)

I'll say things get weird when Hooty gets upset!

Yes, King! Save them with your voice powers!

Damn that is some romantic lighting, and Luz is enjoying the eye candy (cotton candy, if you will)

Luz's reaction to Harpy!Eda is the family-friendly summation of how the fandom has reacted.

Hooty really just tearing up the landscape in remorse

Mother-daughter moment about love life!

I appreciate not just Eda's encouragement but her actually asking Luz what she wanted

God, Eda is best mom

Also, OH FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING?!

OH SHIT

THESE ADORABLY AWKWARD NERDS❤💜💙

"I'm not as cool as you think" could be interpreted as self-deprecating, but here it seems...oddly reassuring?

The way Luz eloquently says how she wants Amity in her future...beautiful❤

Luz making some good faces

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU CUTE DORKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

THERE IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS

WE WERE LOSING OUR SHIT OVER A PECK ON THE CHEEK THREE WEEKS AGO AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE HOLY FUCK

Awkwardness is still there, but that's to be expected

BET Y'ALL DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TRAILER SHOT TO BE IN THE HOOTY EPISODE HUH

THE WAY LUZ RUBS AMITY'S HAND😭😭😭😭😭

(And yeah, it's gonna still be scary, but only because it promises to be so wonderful)

Let's give it up for Hootsifer, goddamn!

Let'a also appreciate just how fucking funny it is that Lumity becomes official in the Hooty episode

Fus ro WEH!

Hooty actually saying "Luz's new GF" out loud...

In just about any other show the love interests getting together would be a climax/culmination of the entire plot. Here? It's actually used to advance the plot, and that is brilliant!

Dana Terrace and the crew really just knocking it out of the park again and again, huh

"They're adorable, and deserve all the happiness!" Well said, Hootsifer. Well said.

Probably for the best they had Hooty promise that. As much as what happened/progressed, there was a lot of property damage.

OH SHIT ONCE AGAIN

King's dad/relative! And he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson!

GODDAMNIT HOOTY

Wow. Just...wow. This episode.

King has voice powers! Harpy!Eda! Lumity are girlfriends for real!!!!

How do you pack so much into a single episode?! And so expertly?!

I had my suspicions before, but this confirms it: The Owl House is the greatest show of all time.

And we have two episodes left until the hiatus! And 11 episodes in the season after that! What are we in for?!?!?!

I, for one, can't wait to find out!

[butteraway]

when time runs out | i

⋆ summary: A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

warnings: nothing much really, mentions of blood

word count: 1.3k

author’s note: Hey guys!! I just wanna let you know I made a few changes here and there in this chapter, nothing too big. Ah but seriously, I’m tired, but I’m having a lot of fun rewriting these huehuehue

No one saw it coming.

Who would have thought this could happen?

Of all the people who it could’ve been, why her?

L/N Y/N wasn't your average girl. Being related to a clutz like Kaminari Denki was no easy task. Despite them only being cousins, they had a relationship almost as tough as iron. No one would believe that the two were related, both being on different sides of the spectrum.

Quite popular at school, no one really cared much for her quirk, surprisingly, since she never had one to begin with. What made her so cool though, was her bright personality. Though she was quirkless, she had a big heart and was a strong girl. Y/N was ambitious for someone her age and had excellent grades that could rival a high school student's knowledge. In store for a very promising future, for a thirteen year old, she basically had it all. 

Well. 

Almost had it all.

It was until that unfaithful day, everything came crumbling and crashing down around her. 

Family had only assumed that her light coughing that would come out every now and then was caused by an itchy throat. But when the light coughs turned to violent gasps for air, they were more than concerned. Especially when Y/N began coughing up blood. They took her to every doctor in town only to have the same answer thrown at them. 

"I'm sorry Mrs. L/N, but we can't find any causes for her condition."

"Mr. L/N, test results show that nothing is wrong with your daughter’s health."

Of course, despite all the long trips and visits to hospitals and well known doctors, Denki and Y/N's relationship never once wavered. Having every opportunity when she was forced to stay indoors, she would spend her time playing video games with Denki. 

Of course, when she did have the chance to go outside, she'd most likely be playing with Denki or picking flowers. As they both sat on the swing set in a park near Y/N's home, they cracked jokes trying to make the other laugh. 

"Y'know what's a real good joke?"

"What? Your grades?"

"Pshhh, noooo. Me becoming a hero!" 

Y/N smiled as she let out a loud laugh, sending her to the dirt on her knees as she tried to regain her breath. Her laughing soon turned to her clutching her chest, ragged breaths escaping from her mouth.

"H-hey Y/N, it wasn't that funny."

The harsh breaths turned into coughing as her face turned paler at the second. Soon she was gasping for air to enter her lungs, clawing at her throat, hoping for all the pain to stop. Denki was long on the floor, kneeling with a horror stricken face and shaky hands hovering over Y/N’s body.

"Y-Y/N, what's happening?!"

Of course Y/N never answered, Denki wanted to kick himself for even asking such a dumb question at the moment. He quickly scooped her up from the ground only to struggle with keeping her in his arms. His arms were far too weak to be holding all her body weight, but Denki only prayed he'd make it back home. He ran as fast as he could, yelling for his aunt and uncle to help him. By the time they came out, Y/N’s mother shrieked in terror as she took the poor girl from Denki's arms. Y/N was only gasping for what little air entered her body, blood slowly dripping from the corner of her mouth. Quickly getting inside their car, her father drove at an alarming rate to the hospital. The cries of his aunt only scared Denki even more when Y/N had stopped her struggling. Doctors whisked her away as fast as possible, stabilizing her and drawing out the blood from her lungs. The married couple could only pace in anticipation while they waited for a doctor. Denki, on the other hand, stared blankly at the white wall in front of him. 

Was she going to die? Was it his fault that she was in such a devastating state? Seeing the color quickly drain from her face was the only thing Denki could really think about. It was his fault. Those thoughts plagued his mind, even after his parents raced into the waiting room, hugging his aunt. His mother bent in front of him, staring directly into his sunken eyes. Tears formed and fell down as he looked down to his hands.

"I'm s-sorry, it's m-my fault she's like t-this."

His mother embraced him, reassuring him that none of this was blamed on him. A couple hours passed and a doctor had arrived to inform the family of devastating news. 

"Though your daughter is in critical condition, we have stabilized her enough to where she will be able to survive on what medication we have given her. Even with what tests had shown us, we aren't receiving any type of diseases coming from her. This could mean that she possibly has a newly formed disease in her. There isn't any information on how it could have formed in her, but we could only guess she had formed some germ of a sort and it grew from there. And with the condition she's in now and the lack of information of what we know about this, we won't be able to determine when she will get better, or even if she will get better. So as of now, it is highly recommended that she will have to stay in the hospital for her recovery and to prevent any more events like the one that happened today."

And despite the devastating news happening inside the bleak hospital, the outside world seemed to only flourish with life.

Y/N's parents were devastated and Denki could only stare at the doctor with sadness. As weeks passed, Y/N only got worse, it was a miracle that she was still alive. While doing research, doctors and some scientists had found out that the bacteria in her room worsened her body. They were confused on how this disease worked, but they couldn't complain. They moved the weak, thin girl to a secluded part of the hospital. Spotless, almost dust free, and clean her room was, it barely looked like a normal room to be put in. (Y/N) had little consciousness during the whole situation, not being able to lift her own pinkie, even if she tried. Months passed, and Y/N's body began to strengthen itself back slowly. Though, the only thing that could possibly kill her was having other people around her. So family members would have to look through a window and talk through a microphone in order to communicate with her. 

Y/N honestly felt like a caged bird.

Denki would visit (Y/N) regularly, talking to her as she smiled and laughed. Every now and then, a doctor with a protective suit on would enter her room and quickly shut the door to check up on her. (Y/N) was silent during those times, looking at the doctor, examining the suit with an unreadable look on her face. Two years she had spent in the confined room, and during that time she had gotten her own computer, console, and tv as her form of entertainment. Playing online with strangers and getting to know them brought a smile to the girl's face. She knew she wouldn't be able to go outside anymore, not with how she was now.

Doctors have found out that overtime, her body had been slowly eating away at the medication, but it wasn't too severe at the time.

"Y/N's body has been rejecting the medication we have been giving to her. Unfortunately, we cannot do anything to prevent this and we have estimated she will have a year or so until her body doesn't take any of the medicine. We will need to ask permission to add higher doses of medication to her medicine. We will try our best to find a solution to this, but we can only apologize."

And this was how Y/N was in her position now. Despite the short time allowed for her, she didn't know how many things will happen in just one year. And who she will meet at that fact.

[wonder-kid-pugh]

Hide and Seek - (Christen Press x daughter!reader)

Christen's Pov

I smile as I look down at my four year old who was passed out in the backseat. I get out of the car and walk around to the door and open it before gently waking her up, "Hey love bug. It's time to get up".

She starts to wake up as she rubs her eyes and let's out a big yawn. She looks around before settling on me, "Momma? Where are we?" I chuckle as I stroke her hair, "We're at the hotel. Don't you wanna see all your aunt's?" After hearing this news she bolts up full of energy nodding her head rapidly, "Yeah! Is Toby going to be there?"

I smile at how her face lights up at the mention of seeing her aunt's again as if she hasn't seen them in years, "Yeah. We're going to go check in and then meet them for dinner". She nods and pats her stomach, "Good I'm hungry". I laugh as she lifts her hands up, bouncing up and down wanting to be picked up.

I unbuckle her seatbelt before lifting her out holding her on my hip while I get our bags. After getting our room key and dropping the bags off, all the while Isabella was telling me to hurry up, we head down to the meal room.  When the door opens everyone turns and looks at us. "Izzy!" Kelley shouts as she sits up. Izzy beams as she continuously taps my shoulder asking to be out down, "Squirrelly!" She toddles over to Kelley and the other youngsters at their table when someone slips their arm around me. I jump but relax when I see Tobin chuckling beside me.

I slap her shoulder, "Don't do that! You scared me". She chuckles and quickly pecks my cheek, "Sorry babe". I quickly look at Isabella but relax when I see she's too distracted by Sonnett making faces at her, "Not while Bella's here". Tobin frowns, "When are you going to tell her?" I sigh as I run a hand through my hair, "It's hard enough telling her why she doesn't have a daddy like the other kids. I'm just waiting for the right time to tell her we're dating. I haven't exactly had a chance to talk to about stuff like that yet".

Tobin bites her lip and nods but you could see she wanted to say something but decides against it, "Cmon you better get something to eat". I nod and walk over to the youngsters table to get Isabella where she was currently sitting on Mal's lap cuddling into her, "Cmon Bella time to eat". She puts and wraps her arms around Mal's neck hiding her face in her neck, "Noooo. I wanna stay here!" I sigh but thankfully Mal looks down at her, "Hey you better go eat with your Mom now". But Bella doesn't give up that easily as she pouts and flutters her eyes at the forward which had Rose awing beside them.

Mal boops her noses making her scrunch up her face adorably, "No! Don't do that! You know I can't resist your pout. How about if you go eat dinner with your mom, we'll see if we can hang out afterwards and play whatever game you want. Deal?" She gives Mal a toothy grin and nods happily, "Deal!" I smile at the younger player, "Thanks Mal!" She shrugs and smiles as she hands me my daughter, "No problem. Anything for this munchkin!'

Isabella waves bye to their table while I carry her over to where all the food is. Thankfully she's not very fussy when it comes to food and she's always been big into eating healthy it makes things easier.

Even if Alex and a few others are trying to convert her to becoming a vegan

After getting Bella's food I was able to bring her to the table when Tobin takes her, "I got her. You get your food". I smile as thanks as Tobin carries her over to our table while I get my own food. I follow them over to their table and my heart melts at the sight. Tobin has Bella on her knee and talks to the others while also talking to Izzy in between mouthfuls. I sit down beside Tobin who smiles while Bella waves still eating her food.

I mostly listen to the conversation around me occasionally looking at my daughter to make sure she's okay but Tobin's got her so I'm not worried much. Tobin chuckles as she picks up a napkin spinning her around in her lap so she's facing her, "You know some of the food has to get in your mouth right Iz?" Izzy opens her mouth and shows all the chewed food in her mouth at Tobin proving the food is actually in her mouth. "Bella" I scold and she swallows the food and looks at me, "Sorry Momma".

I lean over and kiss her head and she smiles back at me, "Its okay love bug". She goes back to eating again and soon after she's finished. I was in the middle of talking to Pinoe when I see Bella gets scooped out of Tobin's lap.

"Chris! We're stealing your child!" Kelley shouts as she walks to the door tickling Bella getting laughs out of her. "Be safe and don't do anything stupid Kelley!" I tell after them. "We'll be good" she calls back walking to the door.

"I mean it Kelley!"

"I promise!"

...........

I was walking to Mal's and Kelley's room to collect Bella seeing as it was getting late and she needed to go to bed soon. I knock on the door but it's already propped open so I just go inside, "Hey guys!" They all smile and wave at me. "Where's Bella?" I ask looking around. "We can't find her" Sonnett shrugs. I furrow my eyebrows together and I'm about to ask what she means when I hear a small giggle come from behind the curtain.

Kelley holds up a finger to her lips and points at the curtain silently asking to play along. "What do you mean you can't find her!" I say in a loud over the top voice. I can hear the giggles growing louder and I walk over to the window making sure my steps were loud. "We don't know she just disappeared" Rose exclaims throwing her arms up even though Bella's can't see her.

"Well where could she have gone?" I ask loud again. It's at this moment Bella jumps out from behind the curtain and hugs my leg, "Boo!" I pretend to jump, "Oh you scared me Bella!" I scoop her up into my arms while she wraps her arms around my neck, "I got you Momma!" I repeatedly kiss her cheek and she giggles, "Yes you did Bella".

"Where were you Izzy? We looked everywhere for you!" Sonnett asks. Bella points at the curtain, "I was hiding behind there the whole time!" Sonnett cocks an eyebrow at her, "Are you sure?" But Isabella nods, "Yeah your just stupid".

The whole room cackles while Sonnet pouts and cross her arms, "Chris your child is a meanie". She pats my arm and I out her down on the bed in front of Emily. She crawls in front of her and hugs her, "I'm sorry". Emily feints hurt but immediately gives in when the four year old kisses her cheek as an apology, "It's okay Izzy".

"Okay Bella time for bed" I say clapping my hands. She shakes her head, "But I wanna keep playing!" But I can see the yawn escape her as she tries to hide it. "Sorry love bug but it's sleepy time now. You can play tomorrow okay?" She nods clearly tired but gets up and hugs everyone in the room before turning back to me making grabby hands at me, "Up. Up!"

I lift her up and balance her on my hip and almost immediately she wraps her arms around my neck tucking her head into the crook of my neck already on the verge of sleep. I smile and wave at my teammates, "Night guys. Thanks for looking at her". "Anytime the kids an angel. And she also makes fun of Sonnett, shes good in my book" Kelley jokes. Sonnett gasps and hits Kelley which lead to Kelley hitting her back and soon their both rolling around on the ground play wrestling.

I roll my eyes, "Okay maybe she's hanging out with you two too much. Everyone else can take her anytime". "Hey!" Kelley and Sonnett shout while the others laugh. I wave at them before walking back to our room where Tobin was lying on her bed playing the switch. She smiles when she see us walk in and turns off her switch before standing and motioning to the half asleep toddler in my arms, "I'll get her ready for bed. You go get changed". I smile and hand off my child to the midfielder before getting ready for bed.

When I step out of the bedroom I smile as I see my daughter lying on our bed while Tobin sits beside her talking to her. Tobin turns when she hears the bathroom door close and smiles at me, "Sorry she wanted to wait for you before she went to sleep".

Her eyes are drooping so much that their practically closed as she reaches her hands out to me, "Momma cuddles". I chuckle softly as I climb into bed beside her and she immediately cuddles into my side, "Well I'm here now so it's time for bed". She lets out one last big yawn before nodding slightly and burying herself into my side, "Night night Momma. I love you". I wrap my arm around her and kiss her head, "Love you too love bug". "Love you too Toby" she whispers before promptly falling asleep.

Tobin smiles and ducks her head kissing her forehead, "Night Iz. Love you too". A small smile appears on her face but she just settles into bed. And not even a minute later she's out for the count. I mindlessly play with her hair as I talk to Tobin, "Thanks for getting her ready for bed and helping me with her".

She gives me a soft smile, "It's fine. I care about her a lot......I care about both of you a lot". I sigh, "Tobin...". But she shakes her head, "I just don't understand why you haven't told her yet. She's been around Ali and Ash so why can't you tell her about us!"

I reach my hand out to her and she takes my hand interlocking our fingers, "Tobin I love you. So so much. But Bella is my life. And I want to make sure that she's comfortable before telling her about us okay? Just give me a bit more time and I'll tell her". Tobin licks her lips but nods. I grin and squeeze her hand, "Thank you". She gives me her million dollar smile, "Anything for you". "I love you" I whisper. She leans down and kisses me gently, careful not to disturb the sleeping child next to me.

"I love you too Chris"

..............

I let out a heavy sigh the next morning as my alarm rings out. "Turn it off!" Tobin groans from the bed next to me. I chuckle as I reach over and grab my phone turning it off before settling back into bed. I lay back for about a minute before I bolt up realising what's wrong.

Where's Bella?

"Bella?" I call when I see she isn't in the bed with me. I kick off the sheets and check the bathroom but she's not there either. I check everywhere I could in the small room behind the curtains, underneath the desk, in the closet.

But no joy

I grab a pillow and fling it at Tobin who sits up, "Hey!" I look at her a bit frantic, "Tobs I can't find Bella!" Now that wakes her up as now she's standing as well searching every bit of the room as well, "What?" Where did she go?"

I glare at her, "Do you think I would be asking if I knew?" Tobin comes and puts her hands on my shoulders, "Relax maybe she's with one of the girls. We'll find her Chris". I sigh and nod. Once we are certain she's not in the room we go out to the hall and start banging on door. "Chris what are you doing? It's too early for this" Kelley groans and rubs her eyes as she comes to the door. But I ignore that and ask, "Is Bella with you?" She shakes her head, "No. What's this about?" I sigh and plays with my fingers, "I woke up and Bella wasn't in the room. We can't find her".

Kelley, now fully alert, instantly wakes up and nod pulling out her phone, "Mal went out on a run. I'll text her and see if she's seen her and ask her to come back to help us look". I nod, "Thanks Kelley". She pulls me into a hug, "We'll find her Chris don't worry".

Soon we had everyone up and searching for the missing 4 year old. Everyone searched their own rooms twice but when we found nothing we checked the whole floor but still nothing. "Where could she be!" I shout as I whip the blanket off of Pinoe's bed throwing it on the ground. I sniff as I sit down on the end of the bed, "What if something bad happened to her?"

Tobin kneels in front of me, "Chris we'll find her okay. I'm sure she's fine". Ali sits beside me and wraps an arm around me, "Cmon let's see if the others have found her". I nod sadly and we walk out into the hallway where everyone is gathered, "Anything?" I could tell by all their faces that they still had nothing. "I'm sorry Chris. We've checked all the rooms twice over and still haven't found her" Kelley frowns.

I lean back against the wall running my hands down my face, "What are we going to do?" Tobin hugs me close but no one has an answer. I sniffle into Tobin's shoulder my eyes starting to water. We're all just standing in the hallway hoping someone would have an idea when we suddenly hear a shout.

"Momma!"

I look up to see Mal carrying Isabella walking towards us. "Bella!" I shout as I run towards them and hug both of them. When I pull away I take Isabella into my arms and look at her, "Where have you been? You had us worried something happened to you!" Bella frowns at me, "I'm sorry Momma". I sigh and kiss her head and hold her into my chest, "It's okay love bug. Next time don't wonder off without telling someone". "Okay Momma" she nods into my chest.

"I found her hiding near the vending machines by the elevator. She says she got hungry and didn't want to wake you guys up and then thought it would be a good place to hide and scare someone. She was waiting for one of you guys to walk past to scare" Mal explains. I narrow my eyes at Kelley, "She spends way too much time with you". Kelley raises her arms up in surrender while Isabella picks her head up and smiles, "I scared Mally". Tobin rubs her head, "I think you scared all of us this morning".

I hug Mal with my unoccupied hand kissing her head, "Thanks Mal". She smiles, "Anything for you guys. Your family". I wipe away the tears that had make their way down my face but I guess Bella noticed as she looks at me and pats my cheeks, "Momma sad?" I smile and shake my head, "No Momma was just worried about where you were". But this doesn't help as her frown grows, "I made Momma sad?" I kiss her forehead, "No I'm okay now love bug".

But she doesn't look convinced and instead pats my cheeks again drying away the last of my tears. She then leans in and kisses my nose before kissing my lips as well. She then uses her hands and puts them at the corners of my mouth and moves them into a smile, "Smile Momma! Momma looks pretty when she smiles".

The whole team awes as I beam at my 4 year old, "I love you so much love bug". Her face lights up a smile taking up her whole face, "I love you too Momma".

Kelley claps, "Okay after that extremely adorable scene and now that the child has been found. How about we all get dressed and go to breakfast we do have training later". Everyone nods and goes back to their own rooms to get changed.

As we walk back into the room I look down at Bella, "How did you even get out of the room? The door is too high for you to reach". She grins and throws her hands in the air, "I jumped like auntie squirrelly!" Tobin bursts out laughing with Bella and I soon following. We get changed and the three of us go down to breakfast together before training.

Bella begs to sit with Mal and the other for breakfast and Mal agrees so she spends breakfast on Mal's lap eating her scrambled eggs and juice box. Once I'm done I go to collect my daughter only to see she is now wearing Lindsey's hoodie, "Uh what happened to her shirt?" But Bella just smiles up at me, "Sonnett spilled my juice box over me". Sonnett gasps, "I did not!". I look at Mal and she shrugs, "Sonnett squeezed her juice box while she was taking a drink and it went everywhere". Sonnett gasps again, "Betrayal!"

"Cmon better get you a different shirt so you can give Lindsey her hoodie back" I say. But she whines and hugs the hoodie closer, "But it's warm and cuddly!" They laugh while I lift her in my arms and walk back to our room. "Can I wear Mally's jersey?" Bella asks. "Sure" I answer as I pull it out of her bag and pull it on over her head.

"Momma?" She asks as I pack a bag of stuff to keep her entertained at practice, "Yes love bug?"

"Do you love Toby?"

I drop her colouring book out of surprise as I turn and look at her, "What?" She just tilts her head at me, "Do you love Toby?" I sit down beside her and pull her into my lap, "Why do you ask?" She shrugs, "She's always looking at you. Like how aunt Ashy looks at aunt Ali. And she told you she loves you last night before bed". I could feel my face heat up at the fact that we were caught by my 4 year old last night when we thought she was asleep.

It's at this moment Tobin walks in whistling a tune, "Hey guys. What are you talking about?" Without missing a beat my toddler answers, "Do you love Momma?" Tobin chokes a bit looking between the two of us, "You told her?" I shake my head, "She just asked me". Tobin scratches the back of her head trying to figure out what to say before she kneels in front of us looking at Isabella, "Yeah. I love your Momma very much".

"Like how Kelley loves food?"

We both laugh as I try to explain to my daughter, "No. So you know how some kids have a mommy and a dad who love each other". She nods and plays with my fingers, "Well some people have two mommy's or even two daddy's who live each other very much". "Like you and Toby? And Ashy and Ali?" She asks. Tobin nods, "Yep".

"Does that mean Toby is going to be my other mommy?"

We both freeze again looking at each other and I turn her in my lap, "Do you want her to be your mommy?" She nods her head happily, "Yeah! She makes you happy! And she's really really nice. And she gives me food and cuddles". We all laugh and Tobin leaks down and kisses her head, "I love you Iz". Isabella grabs both of Tobin's cheeks and kisses her nose and then kisses her lips just like she did with me out in the hallway, "Love you Toby".

Tobin picks Bella up and gives her a piggyback, "Now cmon we have to go to training". I laugh and grab mine and Bella's bag and follow them down to the bus. When we sit down I pull out her noise cancelling headphone and her tablet and play her favourite movie Lilo and Stitch. I giggle everytime she gets excited seeing Stitch.

Soon we're at the pitch and I carry her over to the sideline and put her down by the bench and kneel in front of her, "Okay love bug. I need to go practice now but you have your bag of toys and your colouring book if you get bored. If you need anything talk to one of the coaches and don't wonder off again okay?" She nods, "Okay Momma". I smile and kiss her head before running over to start warming up.

We were taking a break before go into a scrimmage and I was taking a drink of water when I look over to see Bella kicking a ball with Mal and Rose. Ash comes over and goes on her knees in front of Bella, "I bet you can't get the ball past me!" Bella smiles and does a small run up before booting the ball hard to her left and she dives late letting the ball past her. Bella throws her arms up in the air, "I did it!" Rose kicks the ball ball to Bella and Tobin walks over to them leaving her legs open. Bella grins and kicks the ball between her legs to Mal. Bella cheers celebrating with Mal and Rose while Tobin playfully groans.

Bella then turns and runs to me, "Momma! Momma I megged Mommy!" She runs into my arms and I pick her tickling her, "Yes you did!" When I look up I see everyone stopping and looking between us and Tobin, "What?" Ali points at Bella, "Did she just call Tobin Mommy?" Bella nods happily, "Yeah! She loves Momma. She's my other Mommy".

Tobin walks over and wraps her arms around the two of us kissing both of your heads as I lean back into her. "Well that was adorable" Julie smiles. "So now that Tobin's out of the running for favourite aunt, that means I'm the favourite now!" Kelley shouts.  "No it's me!" Sonnett shouts. "Honestly I thought that was taken by Mal" Sam answers. Mal shrugs, "Nope I'm pretty much an adoptive child of Preath and her honorary sister and overall favourite you guys fight it out for favourite aunt".

The team falls into an argument about who's Isabella's favourite as I turn to Tobin, "I love you". Tobin smiles down at me, "I love you and your kid very very much". She leans down and kisses me softly..... temporarily forgetting about the child in my arms.

"EW GROSS! MOMMA AND MOMMY ARE KISSING!"

Wow one of the longest imagines I've ever written 3895 words! Anyways it's not what I usually write but I thought it was a really good idea and here it is. Honestly kinda surprised I wrote this in a day. Anyways I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time, bye!!!

[matronoftheblackrose]

Excuse you? Excuse you??! (Re: Rell and Viego)

To say the Matron was a patient woman would be like stating the sky was blue, or water at room temperature was wet, or that the Matron of the Black Rose shadowy organization who has lived for centuries had a semblance of an idea for patience. To truly ‘surprise’ the Matron one could theorize it would be as difficult as to change the colour of the sky to the colour splurr, or converting water to plasma.

In a dark private room, at a desk, illuminated by the violet magical spiderweb thrumming with panic, sat the Matron of the Black Rose with a bottle of vintage Noxian wine and no glass.

“Alright, darling... Let us try this one more time...”

“Lukas was killed-”

“Let us try this one more time, from the beginning, so you can try in your mewling state to tell me why I should care about any of this,” LeBlanc interrupted. She tipped the mouth of the wine bottle to her lips and took a mouthful of the delicious, soothing crimson. The panicked thrum of her network underneath the desk cast a colourful array of neon reds and pinks into the void. “The Black Rose academy has lost its prized student, who discovered the truth, who knows who some of us are and is currently hunting down all those who wronged her, yes? Including the mentor Lukas who has been found dead? And, correct me if I am mistaken, and I rarely am, Rell is the product the Null project- the project that I said required more drastic measures of mind control, can now control the shards of Noxian steel that soldiers have died in battle to have the honor of looking upon such craftsmanship, and is killing the remnants of the Black Rose Null Academy?”

“...Yes, Matron...”

“Do you realize- do you realize how stupid this is? You must understand because you are not here, in person. You must understand because I have not summoned you here so I can weigh you down in a bathtub of milk and honey and let the maggots eat you.”

“Matron, please-”

“Please. What.” LeBlanc took another swig of her wine. Her web thrummed brighter and ever more panicked. “Please what? Mercy? You are not dead, are you. An explanation? I have heard your explanation and it is lacking. Another chance? Why do you think you are not dead?”

“...Matron? You- Are you serious?”

“And now you doubt me! Me!” LeBlanc let out a single giggle, like a nail swiftly dragged across metal. “Darling, what do you think is going to happen? This Rell is going to kill the rest of you idiots, then she will try to find the rest of us which she will not be able to do. She cannot because, as a precaution, I do not allow other Black Rose members to disclose other sectors locations else your hearts rupture as stated in our contract, and to quickly add it will be a memory you will quickly forget soon after we finish our discussion. And if she somehow does, if she somehow manages to discover where I am, bursts into my chamber and yells for my head, what shall she magnetize? My staff? My gold staff? My gold circlet? Perhaps she shall strip me of my silken dress but she is too young for me, and gods know what those writers and artists will conceive of. It is as though I approved of a project that had a hyper specialization in eliminating a specific target- Oh wait!”

The Matron took another long drink of wine, some of the placating crimson splashed down and marred her desk.

“So the one thing we wanted her to destroy, the Shadow Island wraiths and Mordekaiser, she is fully capable of doing so? And if Mordekaiser ever decides to march on Noxus, your imbecilic daughter will protect the people. So, why should I stop her? She will do her job no matter what. So, dearest Headmistress of the Black Rose Academy, who I shalt be considering to transfer to the sewage division, why. Should. I . Care.”

“I- Matron, my Matron, I-”

“I-I-I- I have not ripped your tongue out nor has the cat stolen it. Speak in full sentences. What do you wish, to redeem your mistake? Do so! If you are killed, then fine, we are in the same position. What is it you are looking from me, support? This is your sewage, this is your spawn, you will-”

The violet web shook as violently as it could, nearly striking the back of LeBlanc’s chair. With a sharp exhale, the Matron smiled and said, “I apologize, there is another call I must take.”

LeBlanc snapped her fingers, severing the thread with the ex-Headmistress of her school. What a terribly stupid idea that somehow still spawned the exact pawn they needed. Oh no people will discover the Black Rose runs academies that gives them superpowers how terrible. Oh it takes childrens’ souls then why does Rell not give those abilities up? Oh noooo.

Oh well, this one could not be any more stupid.

“Yes, darling- the Matron is here and available-”

“Greetings, Imposter.”

LeBlanc nearly spat her wine out. She glanced at her bottle, saw its year, and swallowed the contents to the best of her ability. With a gasp and a wheeze- That voice.

“Viego?”

“So you do remember me...” A soft chuckle that echoed and reverberated into itself a thousand sultry times. “I thought it to be fair to let you know that I shalt be coming for my Isolde...”

“By every dead god, a thousand years dumped in the ocean has not diluted your thirst,” LeBlanc snapped. “Have you heard the phrase ‘she is just not that into you’?”

“A thousand years ago perhaps we could have exchanged the witty quips, but alas- this is not an exchange between equals. I simply thought to give you one last chance. I am coming, you will die, and you will fulfill your side of the bargain. See you soon, Emilia.”

The line went dead, as the subordinate’s soul was torn asunder.

In the dead, dark room, with the light barely able to illuminate LeBlanc’s heels, the Matron laughed. She tapped the only green thread in her entire violet web, followed by a violet thread.

“Oh Headmistress, are you still there?” LeBlanc asked as she beckoned at the air. Another bottle of wine, a fine bottle of rosé this time, with two crystal glasses.

“Yes. Matron, something has gone terribly wrong. The Black Rose Academy has fallen, and I-”

“I know all of this, of course I do.”

“You...do? How?”

“Darling, you are asking how I, the Matron, would know?” LeBlanc uncorked the bottle and poured the wine into their glasses. They needed a bit of time to breathe, much like her subordinate.

“My apologies, Matron.”

“I have given it thorough, deep thought, and I have decided to not have the nape of your neck meat hooked so you could watch as you were slowly lowered into a pit of ravenous beasts that take the form of your daughter who would disembowel you.”

“I- Thank you, Matron.”

“No, rather, do figure out where your Rell is ‘about’. And let me know if there are any other students of your school that are still around. I need the appropriate bait.”

“Bait, Matron?”

“Oh yes. Bait. Rell still has her purpose. I assume you have no objections... Baroness?”

“Pardon, Matron?”

“How does the title of Baroness sound to you, rather than Headmistress? Along with all of the perks of nobility, along with all of the money, the wealth- the men, far greater than that meatstack of a husband you have.”

“What do you need me to do?”

Matron of the Black Rose Emilia LeBlanc looked at the green eyes approaching her from the darkness. A green, ephemeral hand reached out and picked up the glass of rosé. LeBlanc gave the Grand General a smirk.

“Rell just needs to fulfill her purpose...”

[lenalawlipop]

December 31: Quiet

So... this is the final one! I'm posting three in a row today because I really just wanted to finish them xDD I hope you guys enjoy it! This happens in the same AU as that one other prompt I did with dog!Roach, but much further along.

Prompt list here ❄️

Read on AO3

Roach scratched at the front door as soon as she heard Jaskier’s keys jingling and heard him chuckle. The key turned, and he entered the flat. He ruffled her ears, and she whined, calling him to the bedroom. He followed.

“Geralt? Is Ciri still…?”

“Not asleep,” Geralt confirmed, with an amused huff. “I think Roach is more tired than us.”

“I think so too,” Jaskier laughed. “Let me take this all off and wash my hands.”

“Sure.”

Noooo nonono!

Roach whined again, and Jaskier laughed, stepping around her to reach the entrance again, hang his coat and leave his mask behind as well. He blew her a kiss, but ignored her pleas for a little longer still, washing his hands thoroughly.

“We can’t bring germs into the house, Roachie,” he explained to her for the umpteenth time. “Ciri is still very young and could catch something. We don’t want that, do we?”

He did, however, hurry towards the bedroom once he was finished, shedding his shirt in the way. Geralt looked at him, smiled.

“Take the jeans off too, no outside clothes in the bedroom,” he muttered, a tired instruction like the many others they had implemented since Ciri had come home.

Roach jumped onto the bed, whining when Jaskier put her back on the floor. He took her space instead. He’d put on a soft pair of trousers, and he was quick to scoop his daughter up, cuddle her closer. She laughed, tickled with the hair on his chest. Geralt sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“She’s been crying a lot today; I think she’s teething… But you know how much Roach hates it. She’s a bit desperate for affection.”

“And probably also for some exercise,” Jaskier added, softly. He leaned to the side to press a kiss on Geralt’s lips. “You should get some air as well before it’s too dark outside. I’ll put her to bed, alright? Take Roach on a walk?”

“Hmm, I should…”

“You’ve been cooped up all day lately, what with helping out with Pavetta and Duny’s funeral,” Jaskier added, even softer if possible. “Walk off some of the stress. I’ll fix dinner tonight.”

“Don’t worry… leftovers.”

“Right. Then I’ll have those ready to eat if you let me know when you’re on your way back.”

“Ciri might not go to sleep for a while.”

“I’ll sing to her. It’s been working so far, right?”

“Hmm.”

“We’ll make it work, Geralt.”

Roach put her paws on the bed again, but this time she wasn’t shoved off. Jaskier was busy looking at Geralt, who seemed to have burrowed his face into Jaskier’s neck. Roach whined, and they both looked at her. Geralt’s eyes were a little watery, but he didn’t smell of tears yet. He pet her ears.

“I think your other child is worried about you,” Jaskier joked. Geralt cracked a smile.

“She’s a good pup… She keeps an eye on Ciri all the time, don’t you Roachie?” he asked her. It lacked his usual warmth, but he sounded so tired lately that Roach didn’t mind. She nosed at his hand. “Let’s take you for a walk, then.”

Walk!

Jaskier’s voice was clear as she and Geralt left the room. He sang to the baby a lot, and it took Roach a few minutes to remember she was going after Geralt. He smiled at her when she joined him in the entrance.

“He has a sweet voice, doesn’t he?” he mused, his cheeks reddening slightly. “I suppose that’s how we got together, so…”

Roach remembered. Those days were quieter, but Geralt had started to hum along with songs when he’d found Jaskier’s music. Roach had come to him a few years before, and she’d never heard him sing before. He had a nice voice too, she thought, even though Geralt had always seemed rather sheepish about it. He had been serious, and taciturn, when Roach had first met him. He would take her on walks, and he would pet her and groom her, but it had taken him a while to start talking to her. They had gotten to know each other since then…

Geralt only talked to her like this when they were alone, though. It made her feel special, like he was telling her a secret, even though sometimes it was most certainly not secrets what he talked about. Like right now.

“I didn’t expect Jaskier to stick around,” he admitted. Roach had already heard him say this many times, so she continued walking ahead, listening with half an ear. “I wasn’t sure he’d say yes, either.”

Yet another familiar sentiment.

“Gods, Roach, you just don’t care, do you,” he laughed. “I’m getting married, you dork, and you don’t care.”

She barked at him. Of course she cared! But she was not nearly as surprised as Geralt seemed to be by this turn of events. Humans tended to give their mates shiny jewelry for their fingers, so frankly, it was grossly overdue that Geralt gave something to Jaskier.

"I think you'll get used to Ciri soon, too," he continued. "I got used to Jaskier's babbling eventually, didn't I? Well, now's your turn to suffer. Ciri isn't nearly as loud, at least not yet, so I don't know what you're complaining about."

The walk went on in silence for a few minutes after that.

Roach wasn’t really bothered by the small child. She was a little noisy, a little smelly, and slept very little. But she knew pups were like that too. She was rather more concerned about Geralt, if she was being honest.

Ever since he got this child, he'd been so quiet… almost like he was in the beginning. And it worried Roach, because Geralt had come such a long way… but now he was back to that, speaking very little, taking her on walks less, crying when he thought she and Jaskier were asleep. Roach didn't really know what had happened, but she'd gathered from Jaskier that someone had passed recently.

It worried her even more.

She wasn't getting any younger, and though she still had a good few years in her, she wasn't sure who was going to take care of her human when she…

"I'm getting married," Geralt repeated all of a sudden, startling her. "Fuck, I'm getting married. To Jaskier. I'm going to be Jaskier's husband."

He’d slowed down at some point, his usual strides much smaller than Roach was used to, and she returned to his side to nose at his hands with a whine. His fingers were trembling, but there was the hint of a smile in his face. He rubbed her ears.

“Do you even know what that means? I guess not, huh…”

Did it mean something? Mates were mates, weren’t they?

“In the good and the bad, in sickness and in health, from now until death do us part…” Geralt mused, and now Roach was starting to get really worried. “That’s what it means,” he explained. “Marriage. It’s… a promise. We already adopted Ciri, you and I. Now we’re getting Jaskier. Our little family grows, Roach. We have a family now. A family that should be Duny’s. He fought for his wife, they fought for their daughter, and now…”

For a moment they stood there, the winter wind cutting through their clothes and fur. Roach would have sat down, but the ground was covered in snow… A nearby voice was what finally got them out of their bubble. A lady with a poodle, asking if they were alright. Geralt looked up, and Roach was able to scent the tears in his eyes. He stared at the lady for a second, putting on a small smile for her. He hummed, somewhat affirmatively, and the lady went away, but Roach knew better. She got closer still, pressing against his legs like she used to do when she was a pup. He leaned down to pet her.

“Let’s keep walking or we’ll freeze our butts off… Jaskier would be so worried, too,” Geralt said, and he managed a huff of amusement at the end. “You know, one of these days, he’ll take your crown for number one worrier about me in this household, Your Majesty Roach The Mighty.”

Geralt hadn’t called her that in ages! She barked, wagging her tail, and he chuckled as they started walking again.

He’d given her an idea anyway. Jaskier! They were mated now, and married, whatever that meant. And they had a child! Jaskier would protect her human with her, and humans lived so much more than dogs… Geralt would be taken care of!

Roach waited patiently as Geralt wiped the snow and water off of her paws as they stepped into the apartment again, but she jumped at her first chance to go find Jaskier. He was still humming, more quietly now, in the living room. The baby wasn’t with him, but the noise machine that showed them whenever Ciri moved was by his side. He gasped when Roach put her paws on his lap, jumping on his seat. He took his earphones off, turning around. The computer had the funny pictures that meant he was composing.

“You said you’d tell me when you were on your way back,” Jaskier complained in a whisper. Geralt snorted.

“Forgot. Sorry. I’ll take care of dinner instead.”

“I’ll set the table in a minute, let me save this.”

“Easy.”

Routines, Roach supposed, weren’t as bad when they were already set. She’d need more time to get used to the Ciri routines, but this? This was simple enough. Dinner wasn’t usually quiet, but Jaskier seemed to sense there was something in Geralt’s mind and didn’t pry. He sneaked Roach some of his dinner though, to keep her quiet as well. She obliged. Geralt only noticed halfway through the meal, and frowned.

“Jas?”

“Geralt?”

“You’re quiet.”

“I’ve been speaking all day,” he pointed out mildly, amused. “I thought you liked it when I’m quiet.”

“I do,” Geralt rolled his eyes. “I just like it more when I make you quiet. Like this, it’s just strange.”

This made Jaskier laugh, and he extended a hand to lace their fingers together above the table.

“You’ve taken their deaths so…”

“Hm?”

“You’re so quiet, too, all the time,” he sighed. “It’s hard to say if you need help sometimes. I know you struggle with asking, but something like a death, so close, too… You’re carrying a lot on your shoulders, love.”

Oh, yes, this was good! Talking! Geralt always needed some prompting to talk. Well done, Jaskier! Roach wagged her tail in delight and made her escape out of the kitchen before Geralt could answer, using their distraction.

She’d been right about Jaskier, it seemed.

Her family would be in good hands.

[kickingitwithkirk]

Blame the Pot Pie

Summary: Dean and Y/N have a little too much fun after a hunt resulting in an unexpected dilemma.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Jack Kline

A/N: for @amanda-teaches #2k writer+reader challenge

Word Count: 2623

Warnings: angst, kissing, fondling/foreplay, oral teasing, mention of unprotected P/ V sex-wrap it up kiddos, some cursing, public shaming, mentions of drug use, drinking, unplanned pregnancy, use of Plan B One-step, possible pregnancy termination

Prompt: “Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!”

A/N II: Cherry-She completes your life

*no beta-all mistakes are mine

Colorado 

I slowly wake up so relaxed I can’t remember the last time feeling this good. The hunt turned out to be a simple salt and burn and after grabbing a shower and a bite, we stopped at the local dispensary to pick up a few necessities and found couple new items to try.

Stretching languidly, I glance over my shoulder at Dean, tiger striped by the morning light seeping through the drawn blinds, asleep on his stomach clutching his pillow, thankfully not bunched up under his head making him snore. 

Many moons ago, I learned the hard way not to disturb a sleeping Dean Winchester when I tried to roll him over to stop the horrendous snoring he’s capable of when completely exhausted. That little maneuver got me the barrel of his Colt 1911A1 in my face and incoherent yelling. 

I slept with Sam for a long time after that.  

Smiling, I remember Jack telling me Cas calls Dean a very angry sleeper, like a bear. Can’t argue with feathers on that.

The bed dips behind me and a strong arm wraps around me with a smooth, sleep warm chest pressing flush to my back, “Wha’ so musing?” Dean’s drowsy, gravely voice asks as he nuzzles into my neck.

“Remembering a Cas’ism,” I replied, wriggling closer, his morning wood pressing against me, “Someone's wide awake, didn’t get enough last night?” Dean rocks his boxer brief clad cock against my ass in response. 

“Or a little while ago?”

“Never get enough Cherry.”

I’ve always heard Dean call women sweetheart and occasionally baby but the first time Dean called me Cherry shocked the hell out of me. 

I asked him if he knew what that nickname meant, after all, this is the guy who called himself meat man to his own brother. 

He winked at me, cheeky bastard.

I shift onto my back as Dean moves to straddle my thighs, locking them between his muscular ones. Starting at my hips his calloused hands slowly glide over my body, pushing the t-shirt I stole from him to sleep in up, exposing my skin to his hungry gaze. 

In our world, Dean Winchester is considered the best hunter alive, his only equal is his brother Sam. But there is another side to him that's rarely seen, reserved only for those who are family.

Dean can be incredibly gentle, loves waking me up with his teasing touches. Reaching my breasts, his thick fingers massage my nipples, sending shivers through me, pinching them hard enough they pebble up before continuing on to my arms, guiding them upwards and pulling the shirt over my head, tossing it somewhere behind him.

Leaning over me Dean braces himself on his strong forearms entwining our fingers. He’s close enough I feel his breath on my face as I untangled my right hand and caress his scruffy cheek, tracing his full lips, feel him smile against my fingertips. 

He turns his head and kisses my palm before closing the sparse distance to my lips, running his tongue across them, encouraging me to open up to let him explore inside. 

Boy, does this man know how to kiss.

Dean pulls back, my bottom lip between his teeth before letting go, moving to kiss along my jaw and shifts to latch onto my neck, sucking on my pulse point.

“Hmm, you're gonna give me another hickey,” Dean sucks harder in response. I grab his hair on top where it’s longer, tugging till he pulls off to look at me. 

His eyes are dilated and not just from desire. 

“Dude, you’re still stoned.” I grin at him. Last night we kicked back with a few beers and a joint, trying a new hybrid strain.

Then came that pie.

“ ‘m not,” Dean tried sounding indignant before laughing, dropping his head back into my neck as we both laugh uncontrollably. I love to hear him sounding so untroubled, doesn’t get to do it enough.

Our outburst causes certain bits of us to rub together, reigniting our lust. Dean starts moving southward again, lips and tongue caressing my skin along his travels, stopping at his chosen destination and looks up at me licking his bottom lip.

“Frigging tease!” I pull his hair harder. 

He smirks and, without breaking eye contact, slowly runs his tongue up over my outer lips before sliding off the end of the bed, turns, bending over sheds his underwear before walking towards his duffel.

Man has no shame so I freely admire his retreating posterior view.

Hunting has kept Dean fit the nearly twenty years I’ve known him, even with the double bacon cheeseburgers with extra onions and copious amounts of booze, thou not quite the same body he had at twenty-three.

I’ve witnessed guys our age be greener than his eyes envying his not-a-dad-body, possessing the juiciest peach of an ass on any man I’ve ever known. 

He’s rooting in his duffel muttering, not coming up with a condom. “Try the table,” spotting the Walgreens bag by the empty pie tin. 

“Sonuvabitch!” Dean exclaims, running both hands through his hair in his shitshitshit gesture looking panicked at the table. 

I sit up...ooh crap, I feel a warmth spreading between my thighs that shouldn’t be. 

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“What do you mean I can’t purchase it,” I’m about to go mental on this bumfuck towns pharmacist refusing to sell me Plan B, “I can see it right behind you.” 

“I’m sorry I’m unable to sell you the Plan B-One Step today, you’ll have to come back tomorrow.” He raises his voice for the benefit of the locals eavesdropping on our conversation. 

“Wait, I can purchase it tomorrow but not today,” I’m confused as hell and stare incredulously at the guy, “what’s so special about today?”

“It’s the sabbath, you should consider repenting for your obvious sins.” He retorted.

I blink not sure how to respond what this AssButts implying... when it hits me.

It’s the guy who runs the dispensary we went into last night, chatted with us, recommending some items to try. He saw us kissing and cuddling like a couple of teenagers (who'd thought it would take Chuck ending the other realities for Dean Winchester to PDA) must've overheard Dean whispering graphically on how he was gonna savor that pie and me, then slyly pointed out a few the topical products to try for a happy ending.

I suddenly feel like Olive in Easy A when everyone’s talking about her as I hear the tittering around me get louder, comments about the way I’m dressed, not having a ring on it, and the visible hickeys on my neck at my age. 

Jealous much?

I look down realizing I had grabbed the first articles of clothing within reach, turns out to be Dean’s stuff that’s to big on me, including his boots.

And like Olive, I’m taking back control.

”Romans 2:3 And thinkest thou this, O man, that judgest them which do such things, and doest the same, that thou shalt escape the judgment of God?” 

You could hear a pin drop, “Y’all need to consider that before passing judgement on others,” I clap back and head high, walk past the shocked gossip mongers towards the exit, ”especially ones versed in Hermeneutics.”

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We crossed the Kansas border around eight that night, same Motörhead cassette playing all day. We haven’t spoken since leaving the motel late this morning. 

Dean's jaw’s still ticking, he’s gonna have a helluva headache. His hand has a death grip on the wheel as he reaches for the Impalas lighter, igniting what must be like his eighteenth cigarette. There’s only one reason he’s smoking since Sam got him to quit umpteen years ago.

Dean’s freaking out. 

I slide across the seat and ran my fingers along the back of his neck, lightly scratching into the short stands. “It’s both our faults, stop castigating yourself. I’ll get the pill tomorrow, being at the bunker it will be better when I take it, had a nauseating headache and cramped like hell last time.”

He shot me a surprised glance, “You, khmm, you had to… before?” His voice rougher with all those damn cigarettes.

“Once, wasn’t gonna chance it that one had slipped past the goalie.” 

When Dean and I finally got together we agreed since so much of our lives is built on lying to others to get what we need, there wouldn’t be any between us. But breaking a lifelong habit is not easy, we’re still figuring stuff out and on several occasions intentionally hiding things has almost ended us.

Dean snubs out the cigarette, takes my hand and kisses my palm before entwining our fingers, resting them on his thigh rubbing his thumb over mine. I scoot closer, place my head on his shoulder and he turns to kiss my forehead comforting me.

“Don’t even think about kissing me on the mouth before brushing your teeth twice and gargle with holy water mister.” I growl mimicking his scary Dean voice and he gruffs out a laugh like I hoped he would.

“I’m sorry I’ve reacted like that back at the motel. I’ve never forgotten before, no matter how loaded I’ve been. Except that once…”

Dean’s voice falls off at the memory of the only child he’s positively known to have had, the Amazon daughter who’d have killed him if not for Sam.

I turn and kiss his cheek before laying back against his shoulder for the rest of the ride home.

🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧

The Bunker

Seven weeks later

“The stay-at-home orders will be extended for another two weeks as the state has seen a rise in positive coronavirus cases over the weekend. Officials say this is likely due to the expanded testing around the state…” 

“You could’ve sent us frogs or locusts but noooo, had to get creative on this one Chuck.” Dean sarcastically grumbles, switching off the kitchen radio and finishes cooking his breakfast. 

Jack had grabbed a bowl of cereal before disappearing with Cas researching some new cryptic info that Billie had dropped on them the other day. Dean heard the main door bang shut at Sam’s returning from his morning run. 

As he passes the freezer he grabs a smoothie setting it on the counter to thaw out since Sam’s drinking some weird concoctions for breakfast these days.

Sam enters the kitchen unexpectedly still in his sweaty clothes carrying a couple store bags and a concerned expression.

 “Um, Dean, I don’t think Y/N has the flu,” he remarks, pulling out the unmistakable yellow and blue box. “I bought these two months ago.” 

Dean looked up from his plate of bacon and cheesy eggs, eyes focusing on the unopened box. “Since when do you get my girlfriends things?” He asks, nodding at the box. 

“Tampons, Dean. I’ll sometimes pick them up for her when it's my turn to do the shopping. I got these at CVS,” Sam shows him the receipt he found with them, “Y/N usually gets them from Rite-Aid.” 

Dean clears his throat, mentally wincing at how his brother seemed to know more about Y/N’s preferences than him, “How do you know that’s the box you bought, maybe she got them there too?” 

“The date on the receipt and she hasn’t updated her app.”

“App?” Dean inquires around a mouth full, looking confused.

“So a few days ago I was showing Jack the new archive program when a notification popped up about Y/N’s Period Tracker not being synced in fifty days. I didn’t think anything of it, figured she missed it with everything going on, Jess sometimes did with hers. I checked the WC and found these. I checked again today they were still there and she hasn’t entered her last two periods. I stopped in town and got this.” He hands the other bag to Dean.

Dean opens the bag like something’s gonna attack him before gingerly pulling out the Clear Blue Digital Pregnancy Test.

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“It could be wrong, a false positive because she took it wrong.”

“All you do is pee on the end of the stick and wait three minutes for the results,” Sam's tone exacerbated at his brother's bullshit excuses, “even you couldn’t screw that up Dean.”

“She could be in that peripause.”

“What the hell is peripause?”

“Don’t you know what it’s called Mr. Know-it-all?”

“Peri-menopause,” My voice booms throughout the library startling them both, “and FYI you two, when a woman hits her forties all this,” I say gesturing in a circle around my middle, ”doesn’t automatically stop functioning normally.”

“Your forty-one! The chances of you getting pregnant goes down after thirty something!” Dean snaps setting me off in a nanosecond.

“Halle Berry got pregnant the old fashion way at forty-seven!” I shot back really pissed at the shitty excuses he’s trying. “Should’ve known you’d react like dear old dad to unwelcome news.”

Sam shot out of his seat at the expression crossing Dean’s face, contorting into the look that makes monsters with any sense run for its life, ready to step in if needed.

“Since I can’t go to the clinic thanks to Chuck's latest temper tantrum get Castiel so we can settle this,” I head for the doorway leading to the kitchen and pause.

“I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it. It’s obvious you don’t want to have a baby w...” I hurried out not finishing the sentence. Fucking hell, I’m hormoning already.

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Dean can’t stop pacing back and forth in my bedroom as Castiel gently lays his hand over my lower abdomen and closes his eyes in concentration. 

“Come on man, is she or isn’t she?” Dean impatiently barks at the angel.

“Dude!” Sam snaps with his exasperated little brother expression from the desk chair he’s seated upon with Jack perched on the desk itself.

Cas opened his brilliant blue eyes wondrously staring into mine.

I stare back. 

“Yes, you are pregnant.” 

“How the hell are you pregnant? You said you took the morning after pill!” Sam’s chair scraped the floor as he jumped started by Dean’s lashing out at me in anger. I don’t react knowing it’s his go to coping mechanism when he’s scared.

“She took the pill Dean.” Cas reassures him at the same time tipping his head to the side reading what I’m not voicing. 

I can’t believe it failed..what could it do to the fetus...the alcohol and drugs I’ve ingested all this time...

Castiels rough voice takes on an unusually gentle cadence snapping me out of my own head, “I do not detect any birth defects Y/N, they are quite healthy.” 

“Wait, what do you mean they Cas?” Sam speaks first seemingly the only one who caught the last bit. 

“Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!” Jack excitedly blurts out, “I’m gonna be a big brother!”

“I think we should leave. Dean and Y/N have a lot to discuss.” Cas says getting up cocked his head at Jack to proceed him out the door. Sam gives his brother a look I can’t decipher.

“I’m good Sammy,” Dean tells his brother so he’ll go, not breaking eye contact with me. 

Sam gazes over at me and I nod it’s fine to leave. He squeezes Dean’s shoulder and heads out shutting the door behind him.

We stare at each other for a few moments before Dean rubs his face and walks over sitting down on the other side of the bed and pulls me into his arms, neither of us ready to face the decision that makes the most sense.

tbc

A/N: I originally planned on ending this here. That being said, I am seriously considering doing a part II because I hate breaking Dean’s heart.

A/NII: I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback and will be doing a part Il.

Find it here

[dreamofragtime]

I think S5e02 “Sorrow songs” is definitely one of my favourite episodes ever! This episode gives soooo much! There would be so many things to say about it, I could write / talk for days...but don’t worry I won’t 😂

First of all, this has been a very difficult week for me (and my family) and this episode was like a balm for my soul. I’d like to start with a couple of thoughts about the case (I know I rarely do, not because I don’t find them interesting, on the contrary I like mysteries and intrigue, but simply because on. my ramblings here usually I’m more focused on Jean and Lucien...am I to blame for that?😉) I don’t know if it is because of the emotional state I’ve been in, or because being a daughter, a mother and a wife myself...but I found it so very moving and poignant. I was so sad for that poor husband and little boy...and everything happened for a stupid misunderstanding, a lack of communication and Elizabeth’s assumptions that if her husband wasn’t willing to try for another baby, that surely meant he was having an affair. That made me think, honestly, about how easy it can be to misjudge even those we fancy ourselves to know better than anyone else...it’s so true, sometimes.

Well, that’s enough with the sadness! I think it’s best if we proceed with our lovebirds, shall we?😊

The first thing I noticed was that Lucien’s hair was still perfectly in place when he appears in scene to answer the phone and Jean comes down almost immediately (also no more hair net for her and I forgot to say I love her hair and selection of clothes in these first 2 episodes of season 5)....those two were up late 😄 I know it!

Second and that was a huge surprise PATRICK SHIPS IT!!!! I mean...first he sees Jean’s wearing a ring when she brings the tea tray and, well being the smartest person in the room she notices (obviously Lucien doesn’t...men!) and she flees the room to take it off. I felt bad for her because she was uncomfortable and embarrassed and she’s been through so much already, she doesn’t need to feel as if she’s doing something “wrong”...not about this. And then Patrick hinting not very subtly at people you’ve known all your life having secrets but of course Lucien still doesn’t get it. The next scene between Patrick and Jean actually made me cry, for what he says...because it reminded me of something someone told me a very long time ago!

Now I have a question for you, do they reveal why Jean is not wearing Genevieve’s ring? Or did I miss anything?

Then what do we have? Ahh yesssss....we have the scene I’ve seen hundreds of gifs about but never knew anything about!

I must confess I rewatched it 3 or 4 times because it was so glorious...what a kiss!!! Everything is perfect! Lucien entering the kitchen and Jean making hot cocoa (that was so sweet and homey) and he who is obviously interested in something else entirely than the cocoa, despite her robe. She responds passionately to the kiss, too but I get it...the Catholic sense of sin and guilt is there...she pushes him away (those hands tho...) even if you ask me she seems happy.He asks her to join him for something stronger perhaps (really Lucien what were you thinking? 😄) and Lucien’s face “now I really ruined my chance” is worth one million pounds. What happens next was another big surprise, I thought we had been gifted enough with the kiss, but noooo...Jean in her room looking at her reflection in the mirror. I found this another very emotional moment. It’s obvious she’s asking herself so many questions, after what’s just transpired between the two of them in the kitchen. When the time comes would Lucien find her attractive? It’s obviously been a long time since she’s been with a man and they’ve been dancing around each other for so long, and they’ve waited for so long to be together, will she be confident enough to show him how much she loves him with everything that she has, with everything that she is? And what about him? How will their first night together be? But then she takes all the strength she has and she goes for it! She takes the (probably new) white night dress from the drawer and she wears it, she even put make up on her face...I found it so sweet and Jean so very determined it really brought tears to my eyes...she’s such a wonderful woman! But then Rose sees her and she smiles because she’s understood everything and she doesn’t judge her, on the contrary I think Rose is happy for them but it’s too late and Jean loses her nerve and probably even thinks that was some sign from God, that they should wait until they’re married and the next morning she goes into confession...and I’m not even disappointed because she was so in character here.

The day after, when they are interrogating Tomas he says something about his relationship with Nadia...that he would have waited for her to be ready, that he would have never hurt her, well that really could easily apply to what happened the night before with Lucien and Jean. He respects her and he doesn’t push her if she doesn’t want!

The pine bark scene was probably the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen and Lucien asking Jean if it works for the menopause and she just arches her eyebrows 😂😂😂 and when he drinks it...well Jean lock your door very tight tonight because if it has an effect on Lucien you should definitely be worried 🤣🤣🤣

And here we are...last scene. Another wonderful gift (I don’t know if I should be worried because it’s too much happiness in one go 🤞🏻) Lucien being a lovesick puppy with those big shiny eyes looking at her because she’s the most wonderful woman in the entire universe and he also recites old Romani songs (stop being so cute please) and our amazing Jean telling him she’s glad he has the amulet to look after him when they are not together 😭 and can we talk about the candlelight dance? Is there anything more romantic than the way he takes her hand, the way he holds her, the way they look at one another and that slow swaying together?

[grifalinas]

Once upon a time there was a king who had three sons. Well, he had, as far as he knew, two sons and a daughter- well-

Hold on. Let’s back up and try again.

Once upon a time there was a king who had two sons and a pregnant wife. This king loved his wife to devotion, and gave her anything that she asked for, anything at all, even if this was an ill-advised thing to give her.

Like fancy cabbage that only grows in the garden of a witch, because his pregnant wife was craving it and he could refuse her nothing.

Rather than do anything sensible like, say, ask, the king sent his messenger to the witch's house to steal the cabbage. When the witch found out, cause she was gonna find out, she came to the king and was all,

"Hey you fucking idiot why didn't you just ask me for some cabbage, I literally have plenty, I'd have just given you some cabbage if you'd just asked," and the king was all, "Well I'm your king and I do what I want."

So the witch said, "Well, now you have a far greater price to pay than if you'd just, like, bought some cabbage from me, c'mon, I literally sell it in front of my house, just come during business hours, it's super cheap, seriously, but now that you've offended me you'll have my curse on you, unless you give me the child that your wife bears."

And the king said, "What kind of curse?", and the witch explained that the king would go bald except for one hair on a wart on the end of his nose, and all of his whiskers would fall away except for a soul patch. The king, being a very vain man with great hair and two sons already, decided that on balance he'd just give up the baby, so he agreed.

"And don't try to get a different baby and pass that one off to me instead," the witch added. "I'll know if you lie to me. It has to be your baby. I'll take you on Fantasy Maury, don't test me."

And the king said, "What? Noooo! Of course I wouldn't do that!" and then snapped his fingers in disappointment because he'd been planning to do exactly that.

So the king went home and told his wife, and his wife said, "You're a fucking idiot, why didn't you just buy some cabbage? Why did you go steal cabbage, you're the king, kings don't steal things."

And the king said, "Yes they do, that's literally exactly what they do," and the queen said, "Yeah, but they do it through legal channels, not like common burglars," which the king had to admit was fair.

Then, because he didn't like being scolded, he said, "The deed is already done and the cabbage is already ate, so let's think what we're going to do now. We can't get out of giving the baby to the witch, but I'd rather not tell my kingdom what happened."

The queen thought this was stupid, too, but she gave it some thought, and after awhile came up with a plan.

"Go find another pregnant woman who is due to give birth around the same time as I will, and arrange for us to pass her child off as our own. Husband- look at me, husband," she added, and he did, and she said very firmly, "Do not steal the baby. Make arrangements."

And the king snapped his fingers in disappointment again because he was absolutely planning to do that.

So, things went as the queen planned- a woman was found who was due around the same time as the queen, and who along with her husband shared enough superficial features to the king and queen that the child's appearance would likely not raise any questions- the queen's idea, you'll no doubt be unsurprised to learn. The king didn't pull rank on her, per his wife's orders, though he did state several times during the conversation that he was the king, you know, so. 

In any case, it was arranged that the woman's child would be raised in place of the royal baby, and honestly it wasn't such a bad gig- the woman was hired as the child's nurse, which when you think about it means she raised him anyway, but in the lap of luxury and also she got paid to do it. 

Extremely conveniently, the queen and the nurse gave birth on the same night, in the same room, to two baby girls, and only the midwife knew which baby was which when all was said and done.

The king came in to look on them. They were very much identical, because except to the eye of love one baby is much like another, and the king had not yet learned to love either child. He asked which was which, and when the midwife told him he took the baby that his wife had given birth to, and set it in a basket and hied away to deliver it to the witch before anyone had a chance to look at it or get attached.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #333

“imaginary chain  /  the one you never break  /  seething all alone”

Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah, I'm pretty open about what I'm afraid of. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What class in high school did you struggle with the most? I honestly don't remember with certainty, but it was probably math or economics. At least, I think econ was my senior year. What could you talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, a few game franchises... maybe a couple more topics. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah, but I don't have many games on there and rarely touch the ones I do. Do you like gaming? I do, but not as much as I did for most of my life. I mostly just play WoW now, and even that I'm not that into anymore. Part of it though comes from not buying any new games that I'm interested in because 1.) no money and 2.) no proper console, and you can only replay games so many times before you're just... yeah, done. Do you like reading books? Some days. Do you like religion? All things considered? No. Do you like Grand Theft Auto V? Y'know, growing up, I actually liked watching my younger neighbor play one of those games, but I don't remember which. Though he never actually "played" it... just ran around wreaking havoc, lol. I do however think GTAV was the one that Jason and Jacob started playing together when we moved into the apartment, and I thought the story was okay; I don't think they ever got far into it, though. Definitely wasn't Jason's sort of game, and I don't think it was too much up Jacob's alley, either. Can you twerk? I haven't tried and you will never see me try either, lmao. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes, but I almost never use it. If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing them back? Yes. If your best friend of the opposite sex tried to kiss you, would you start kissing them back? No. Have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? Yes, because of how badly she hurt him. I don't have any negative feelings towards her now, though. We're actually friends, haha. The irony. Are you an easy lay? What weird wording. But whatever, quite the polar opposite actually. When’s the last time you said you were sorry? A few days ago. Are there any songs you listen to everyday? No. Would you like living on the coast? As someone who lives in a state hit by hurricanes usually every year and has seen the incredible damage they usually bring to the coast, no. I don't like the smell or gritty feel of salty air, either. When’s the last time you were really late to something? No idea. That's usually not a problem with me. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? The last person I actually stopped like-liking would be Girt, and that would be because I just came to the realization I saw him too much as my brother instead of boyfriend. It just always felt awkward. Do you still talk to that person? Yeah, we're good. No hard feelings or anything between us. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Do you trust easily? Fuck no. I'll be cautious, at least to some degree, about new people for a while. What is the last song to make you cry? Since I've actually behaved and not listened to any trigger songs, it's been a long while, but it was probably "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Last person you hung up on? I'm sure some automated message. I barely ever answer the phone to numbers I don't recognize, though. Where was your last car ride to and from? To Wal-Mart w/ Mom to pick up our order and then back home. Next big outing? *shrug* Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? Not really, no. Considering I'm by far my most authentic self online, I actually tend to appreciate virtual friends more, if I'm being honest. I try to keep up with those people. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? Not really, no. I think I saw Warcraft the day it came into theaters, though. Do movies often make you cry? What kind of films/scenes make you tear up most? Yep. Tragic romance tends to do it the most, I think. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have one to track my menstrual cycle as well as another that tracks my daily caloric intake, but I'm bad at using it because it's tedious if I actually have to measure something. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? Ummm if you mean like, in general, probably my mom's. But this most certainly depends on the subject I'm taking feedback on. What is something society "expects" you to do that you don't want to do and/or don't plan on doing? Shaving my legs came to mind first. Granted, I will if there is almost any chance of someone seeing them, but otherwise, I just don't care. We respect women with body hair on this account and see them as no less feminine. Are you interested in architecture? Is there any particular style that you're drawn to? I think it's cool, yeah. I should have an answer for this, given architecture was a massive focus in Art History the last time I was in school... Roman architecture comes to my head first, if that says anything. What was one of your favorite things from the nineties? BOY OH BOY, SO MUCH!! I'm probably gonna say the toys. There was some dope shit, man. Do you collect things pertaining to an animal? ANYTHING and EVERYTHING featuring a meerkat!!!!! :''') Do you wish that people were kinder to spiders? Well, yes. I hope everyone in their heart wishes this, even if they're afraid of them. They're very important to our ecosystem, and none are out there to harm us; their existence does us a favor. Where do you normally order pizza from? Domino's (my favorite) or LIttle Caesar's for the price. Did your parents keep anything of yours from when you were a baby? Oh yes, loads of stuff that's stored away somewhere. Do you own one of those "____ For Dummies" books? No, but I feel like we had one at some point? What was the last VHS tape that you watched? Yikes, who knows. Did you watch Boy Meets World back in the day? I actually didn't, no. Our old neighbor though loved it so much that she named her daughter Tapanga (deliberately spelled that way). Who is your favorite Scooby Doo character? I never really had one. Maybe Thelma. If I were to give you a coloring book, what would you want its theme to be? Animals. Have you ever won a stuffed animal at a carnival? Possibly a small one. I can tell you I did however accidentally stab the guy who ran the dart-throwing booth though, lmfao. He was obviously fine, and it wasn't a bad wound. I felt SOOOOOO bad. Are you a fan of narwhals? I'm a fan of any animal. Narwhals are definitely fascinating creatures. Grape or orange soda? Orange. Grape-flavored soda ain't my thing. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so painstakingly boring and repetitive. Did you have a favorite Disney movie as a child? It was and still is The Lion King. Do you or have you ever owned a portable gaming console? Yeah, a GameBoy Advance and Nintendo DS. Is shyness cute? It definitely can be. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning before? No. Do you like to gossip, or do you prefer to keep your mouth shut? I'm not a gossip fan. Have you ever vandalized someone else’s property before? Most definitely not. Are your parents divorced? Yes. Have you ever been under suicide watch for 72 hours in a psychiatric ward? Yes; at least here, that's protocol when you're admitted for suicidal thoughts/tendencies. Have you ever gone through your significant other’s phone or social media accounts, or do you respect their privacy? Absolutely not. That shit pisses me off so badly. Do you wear any sort of clothing for religious reasons? No. What's something you worked extremely hard to get? My sanity back. Sounds so dramatic, but I'm literally not kidding. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I remember. How many kids do you want to have? I don't want kids, but to entertain the question, when I did, I wanted three. It's fuckin wild to imagine for even a second that I once wanted that. Do you believe that being gay is a sin? *eye roll* Are you any good at photography? If so, what’s your specialty? I mean it with modesty, but I think I'm pretty good. My favorite thing to photograph are animals, but I generally take most pictures of people by request or pay. Judging by my deviantART account, my nature pics definitely get the most attention. Have you ever been a member of a gang before? Fuckin yikes, no. An infamous gang tried breaking into my childhood home once, so you can probably gather that I would never take part in their "big bad guys" bullshit. Have you ever felt like you were neither male nor female? No, I'm comfortable as a cisgender female. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? NO. Anything with raisins = NO. Do you think you’re attractive? No. Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No, not that I really passed notes to begin with. I'd be mortified, regardless of what it was about. Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? Arctic. Do you have an older brother? Yes. He's technically my half-brother, but I don't see "half"s. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Are your collarbones prominent? Bitch I wish so I could get the damn dermal piercings I've wanted for years. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? As a kid, yeah. So ugly. Do you love yourself? It's... weird. Therapy is making me realize that a part of me, maybe even the bigger one, doesn't, but at the exact same time, I know I have worth just like every other human. I just don't treat myself like I do. What TV shows do you keep up with? None, until Meerkat Manor returns this summer. :') When’s the last time it snowed where you live? A couple months ago we got a little bit of it. Is your belly button pierced? No, but it would be if I was actually skinny. Just in my personal opinion, I don't at all think that that piercing would look nice on someone as overweight as me. Even if my damn dreams come true and I lose all the weight I want, my stomach will never look "normal," even after I get the excess skin removal surgery that will be very high on my priority list for my own self-image that's been nothing but loathsome since 2016. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is the obvious answer. What do you remember the most about your childhood? Lots of imagination. Parents arguing. Playing with my little sister. What age did you get your first hair cut? I have no idea. Do you have a favourite toy from childhood still? No. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of it. Have you ever made bread? No. Would you ever consider shaving your head? Nah. Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? Who says we don't now? Zombifying parasites already exist among insects and such, so like... it's not unimaginable to one day see one developed enough to infect humans. I sure as fuck hope not, but. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have a dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I did this many, many months ago, but I guess watch an episode of The Witcher by my own volition. I don't really do spontaneous things with how routine I am, but I had a random urge to check it out one morning. How loud can you whistle? Not very loud at all. Does anything on your body hurt or itch right now? My knees really hurt. They're getting worse. When was the last time you built a sandcastle? There's noooo telling, it's been many years. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? No. Well, not a *real* one, anyway. Just the little ones for kids. If you had to appear on a game show, which one would you choose? Family Feud. What is your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Food: Are you adventurous or do you stick to what you know? I absolutely stick to what I know. I am SO picky. Is there anything (out of the obvious) that makes you feel really ill? I'm not immediately sure, but there's probably something. Do you bump into things often? Yes. I've always had this weird habit of like... drifting when I walk, so I do this easily. I just kinda wander to the sides a bit without realizing it. What design is on your calendar this year? I don't have a current one. Did you enjoy playing Hop Scotch when you were younger? I did. Do you feel uncomfortable going to the movies by yourself? Nah, not really. I did that with Warcraft and it was actually pretty chill. When thinking about your dream home, what do you think would be your favorite thing to shop for? The ~g o t h i c~ decor. Do you ever listen to those lo-fi hip hop/study music playlists on YouTube/Spotify? No. Are you likelier to work harder if you’re being paid? If not, what drives you to give your best effort? I mean, yeah. I'd assume that's pretty normal. Does the fashion sense of a potential partner matter to you? No. Is there anything that you prefer to write down rather than type? I'm unsure. If you download/torrent things, do you remember the first thing you ever torrented? Oh, the Limewire days of music pirating... but no, I don't remember. What was the last thing you posted on Instagram? Something photography-related, but I don't feel like checking. What do you wish your hair looked like? I wish I could pull off pastel pink hair rn. It also desperately needs a trim. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? I'm sure I always will, at least a little. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Uhhhhh have I? I don't think so. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably the groom of the last wedding I shot. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No, but I used to do that big time because I loved "rewatching" stuff when I was on the computer. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mother, big time. Who’s the bravest person you know? Also my mother. Or Sara. What profession do you admire the most? Teachers might just win. The patience that must take, among so many other things. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? No.

[someordinaryselfshipper]

Phantom x Reader Cinderella AU FINALE

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read this story! Now that this story is finish, I will be taking requests for more Phantom x Reader fics. Send them to my asks! And with that, let’s get to the finally!

word count: 1,968

warnings: Abuse and blood mentioned

Tag list: @harleenquinzell96 @miss-antivinny @beepa99

It’s been a whole day since the ball. It was both the best night of my life, and the worst...I should have stayed with Phantom...He has so much power, he would have protected me, right?....But...No. My step mother would find a way to get me back. She would have told him I’m an orphan, a maid. An absolute nobody. And he would have hated my guts… Even if I never see him again, at least our last memory of each other will be a good one.

Phantom’s POV

I punch the wall of my office out of anger and frustration. I can’t contact them because their phone is broken, I have no idea where they live, and even though I have all of my available employees out looking, they can’t find them.

As I collapse into my office chair, Mare enters my room. “Geez, you look like shit.” Mare says. I don’t snap back at him like I usually do. Honestly, he is kind of right. My hair is disheveled, my tie is loose around my neck, and my vest is completely unbuttoned. In other words, I’m a mess.

“I don’t know Mare...Maybe this whole search is pointless.” I say, “What if they never want to see me again?”

“I highly doubt that Phanny boy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Wasn’t the last thing they said to you ‘I hope I can see you again someday.’?” Mare asks. “...How do you know that?” I ask. “I have my reasons. Anyways, if you have any doubts, why not ask them yourself?” Mare asks. “Oh gee! I don’t know. Because I have no idea where they live?!” I yell at Mare in frustration. “Then why don’t I take you there? I know where they live.” I lift my head from my desk, and jump up from my chair to grab the collar of his shirt.

“How long have you known where they are?” I ask. “...Since last night.” Mare says. “AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO TELL ME?!” I yell. “Okay calm down bro! (Y/N) wouldn’t want to be reunited with an angry you.” Mare says. I sigh and let go of his collar. “Okay fine.” I grab my cane and turn towards the door, “Let’s go.”

___

Your POV

I spend the day as if nothing in my life has changed a bit. The cleaning, the yelling, and the constant tournament. I should be grateful that I even got a slight break from my life...I just wish it would have lasted longer. I wonder if after that night, Phantom even still wants me around?...

“(Y/N)!” My step mother yells straight into my ear. I wince in pain and look to the side at her. “Go up to your room right now.” She said. “But...I haven’t finished cleaning the-” “I SAID GO!” She yells again. I do as she says and run up to my room. Before I enter my room, I turn around to face my step mother. “Why do I need to-” before I could get another word out, she pushes me inside of my room and slams the door. The corner of the door hitting me on the corner of my forehead in the process. A small cut forms and starts bleeding down my face.

I try to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. “Let me out!” I yell. “I just got a call from someone very, very important person coming over soon…” She says, “I can’t have him seeing a scummy low life such as yourself.” Could it be?...No, it can’t be Phantom. I never told him where I live.

There’s no reason to try anymore. So I just slide my back down the door and sit on the ground. No tears come out this time. I think I have no more left to give.

___

Phantom’s POV

“And you’re sure this is the right place Mare?” I ask while looking up at the big house in front of me. “100%. Why do you ask?” Mare asks. “Because...it’s quite a nice place. I just don’t get why she was always so hesitant of me to see it.” I say while opening the driver's side door, “you coming in with me?” I ask Mare. “Nah, I’ll stay in here.” He says with a certain glimmer in his eyes. “...You’re planning something aren’t you?” I ask him. “What? Noooo! I would never!” He says. “Right. Just whatever it is, don’t mess anything up.” I say as I shut the door on him.

I adjust my tie as I walk up to the door. The door wings open on me before I even have a chance to knock. A “well” aged woman stands inside with a wide grin. “Well well well! Is this who I think it is?” She asks in a sickly sweet voice. “The name’s Phantom. I’m looking for someone and I heard that they live at this residence.” I say. “Ohho, well nobody lives here except me and my two lovely daughters.” She gestures over to two girls that...look like they do, in fact, exist. That’s the nicest thing I can think to say about them. “Aren’t they just lovely? Prime dating material would you say?” I turn my head to the girl's mother. Honestly just the thought of that makes me want to gag. But I keep my composure in check.

“Apologies, but I should inform you that this someone I’m looking for is very important to me.” I say, hoping she takes the hint. “Well I’m sure that they can wait, so I can tell you about my girls.” She says. I rub my temple with my thumb and let out a sigh. This is going to be a long day.

___

I stay seated in front of the door. Hiding my face into my knees as I hug them. The room is dead quiet. I can’t even hear what’s going on downstairs. I just wish I could be free of this hell.

“Have no fear, your hero is here!” I hear a familiar voice say. I look up and see none other than Mare. “Mare!” I say as I get up to hug him. He stumbled back and pats my head. “Nice to see ya too dude.” I pull back from him. “What are you doing here?” I ask. “Me and my brother have come to pick you up-” He stops once he sees my forehead. “...Your bleeding.” He says. I shake my head. “That doesn’t matter right now, Phantom is here?!” I ask, hope fills within me once again. “Y-Yeah! I brought him here. We’re gonna recuse you from this shit hole!” He says. “We just need to get you out of this room first.” He says. “How are we going to do that?”

Mare lifts up his pointer figure, “Watch.” He says. “He takes a running start and runs towards the door. Instead of breaking it down though, he runs straight through to the other side of the door. Not even a second later, he opens up the door for me. “...how did you?” “I am a lot of things (Y/N). A ghost, a demon, etc. But no time to explain that now! Just go get your man!” He says. I give him one last quick hug before running down the stairs.

Reaching near the bottom to the main floor, I see Phantom turned towards the door. Before he can leave I shout “PHANTOM!” He turns around. We look at each other in the eyes for a few seconds. Then he starts running towards me. I do the same, nearly falling down the stairs as I do so. I trip on the third to last step, but Phantom catches me in his arms. Holding me in a tight embrace, he combs his fingers through my hair. I wrap my arms around his back. He’s here. He’s actually here.

“Baby doll.” He whispers before pulling his face up. He starts to lean in until he notices my bleed forehead. His hands move from my hair to my face. He gently cradles it, stroking my cheeks gently. His face darkens. “Who. Did this. To you?” He asks in a deep voice.

“Funny you say that.” Phantom looks behind me, I turn my head around as well to see Mare half way down the steps. “W-Who are you?” My step mother asks, now out of her trance. “It doesn’t matter bitch face. What DOES matter is how you’ve been treating sweet little (Y/N) over here.” Mare says. Phantom gently turns my head so I'm looking at him again. His hands still firmly on my face. “Is that true (Y/N)? Have these people been hurting you?” He asks. “We’ve just made them do some chores around the house,” my step mother says, “You’re over react-” “Shut. Up.” Phantom says in a deep voice again. My step mother stops talking. Too scared to say anything else.

Phantom looks back at me, his face softens. “What did they do to you sweetheart?” He asks in a soft voice. So I tell him everything. The years of abuse and being treated as a slave in my own home. The more I go on, the angrier he looks. “It’s okay Phantom.” I say, “I’m used to it.” He shakes his head. “You should have never had to go through all of this in the first place.” He says, bringing me back into a hug. “Besides, nobody hurts my baby doll.” he whispers into my ear. Phantom gives me a quick kiss on the forehead before standing us both up from the ground.

“We will be taking our leave now.” He says as we stand walking to the door hand in hand. “Wait!” Says Anna “They can’t leave!” She shouts. Stomping her feet on the ground like a toddler having a temper tantrum. “I can and I will.” I say. “I’m no longer a scared child anymore...Phantom has helped me realize that. I’m leaving.” I say. Phantom chimes in, “And if you know what’s best for you, you’ll leave this city.” He gives them a glare that could destroy a thousand souls before walking out of the door with me. Before the door closes, I see Mare disappear from the stairs in a puff of smoke.

“I think Mare’s gone.” I say. “Good.” Phantom replies, “Because I wanted us to be alone for this.” He leans into me and gives me a passionate kiss. I kiss back with as much passion. We part ways after a few seconds. Our foreheads touching, he strokes my cheek again. “You will never have to clean a single mess for as long as you live.” He says. “I have to clean some things honey.” I say, grabbing his hand that’s on my cheek. “You’ve done more than enough cleaning in your lifetime. It’s time you get treated like royalty. As you should me” He says.

“Starting with this.” He says. I yelp as he picks me up bridal style. “Phantom!” I yell playfully as he walks us towards his car. “From now on you don’t have to walk. I’m carrying you wherever we go.” He says. “But I like walking!” I say while hitting his shoulder playfully. “Hmm...I’ll think about it.” He says, kissing me again.

Driving off in his car, I look back at my old house one last time. Although it’s now full of bad memories, there were still some good ones as well. Phantom looks at me, our hands intertwined. “Ready to go home doll face?” He asks, kissing the back of my hand. I smile at him. Everything I have been through has led up to this moment. The man of my dreams, my prince charming. “Yeah. Let’s go home.” And with that, we drive off to our happily ever after.

[not-a-christmas-tree]

i just watched the dallas theatre company les mis here are my observations

IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS PRODUCTION I SUGGEST YOU DO! DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS THOUGH!

so, in case you didn’t know: in 2014, Dallas Theatre Company did a modern interpretation of les mis. i just watched it on youtube (i will link it later, i promise) and took SO MANY GODDAMN NOTES so here they are!

ACT ONE 

(Look Down-WHID)

starting out strong! we got some HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT THE JAIL SYSTEM!! blatant police brutality happening BASICALLY the entire first part of the song. it hurts me. 

note on the cops costumes: they legitimately terrify me and they are dressed in like. full riot gear.

okay so,,,valjean wraps the rope from his bag around his neck at the end of WHID. this is interesting bc, a) he’s trying to find a solution as to what he should do after the Bishop and that’s a direction I’ve surprisingly seen no one take, but b) this part has the same melody as javert’s suicide, when javert is ALSO trying to figure out what he should do after his perception on life is altered. for a moment there, they both are on the same page, the page being suicide. however, only one of them takes that choice.

the above makes the lines (in both songs) “i’ll escape now from that world / from the world of valjean” ESPECIALLY interesting because. in two different ways, they did escape, but they ALMOST had the same conclusion for a brief second.

(At The End Of The Day)

in ATEOTD fantine ends up being the last one working, causing everyone to look at her with varying degrees of annoyance or frustration. She do be hardworking doe

OH SHIT KIDS IN THE FACTORY!! three little kids run up to the foreman when he’s giving daily stipends to the ladies!! (they’re also the last to be paid, giving significant sass to foreman who also sasses back)

Girl #5 mockingly calling fantine “innocent sister” when 5 is white and fantine is a WOC...that’s kind of interesting given that that can be read as SERIOUS racial profiling on 5’s part

foreman looks like bob’s boss in the incredibles but like. tall lmao

(I Dreamed A Dream)

her look of like,,shock-but-not when everyone from the factory exits and she takes off her bandana,,,that. that is good acting

her transitions from chest to head voice are so good

i’m kinda sad she isn’t younger?? or just. doesn’t look super young bc fantine is supposed to be like. early twenties. she’s not 45 and had a decently long life before she died, no, she’s young. she was taken advantage of. that’s the whole point. but that’s sUPER little like this lady is way too good

she has the perfect mix of sadness and regret plus anger and shameless hope. like. kudos to you allison blackwell you’re a dope fantine 

the cry on “killed the dream i dreamed” brb sobbing

(The Dock Scenes)

MALE PROSTITUTES I REPEAT!! MALE PROSTITUTES!! (no idea what wig he’s wearing tho. he was done dirty in the wig department) 

oh male prostitute is prostitute #1! 

oh damn there is. lady def on some bad drugs with her kid passing behind fantine on the bench. ouch.

hoo okay they did n o t censor lovely ladies!! (mini note: camera person has the camera down an AWFUL LOT on these docks scenes lmao)

there are cops on the docks. gross.

(Who Am I-Confrontation)

OH SHIT THEY HAVE A FALSE JVJ IN THE BACKGROUND OF WHO AM I 

jvj comforts not-jvj for a second!! (money note was FANTASTIC btw)

fantine being WOC and DYING in a modern hospital also is,,yeesh because. you know. racist doctors. 

jvj cries after fantine dies JUST STAB ME NOW OKAY—

confrontation is really funny when u see that javert has a GUN and jvj has A CHAIR

JVJ DID THE LIL RUN ON “live within my care” YAAAAY

(COAC-Master Of The House)

oh boy baby cosette,,so small,,so pure plus classic baby head shake when she sings I STAN

MADAME T LOOKS—OH GOOD GOD

DID SHE SPIT ON MY BABY--

cosette: “please do not send me out alone—“ madame t: “oooooh my gOOOOOD” omg 

what the fuck is thenardiers hair i—

WHAT THE FUCK IS THENARDIER IN G E N E R A L

random idea regarding thenardier’s prison tattoo: he has the same number on his chest that jvj has. Meaning he was in jail too. so why isn’t he as messed up as jvj? i wanna say maybe he was in for less time, but like. I doubt it. However, he has a whole ass gang. did the thenardier gang break their boss out of jail? please say yes 

him listing things for baby éponine to charge i love it

OH MY GOD THENARDIER FLAUNTS HIS NUMBER WHILE JVJ DOESNT!! jvj hides his past because he believes it will get him into better places (it does, he becomes mayor for god’s sake) while thenardier shows off his past with stubborn pride. while thenardier cheats his way to success, jvj lives an almost honest life where he ultimately suffers due to the stress all the hiding he does gives him

i love that éponine looks like neither of her parents,,,madame t got around huh? 

(The Bargain)

I JUST REALIZED THE STAGE HAS A CATWALK DOWN THE CENTER INTO THE AUDIENCE THAT IS THE COOLEST OMG

Instead of madame correcting thenardier on cosette’s name he asks cosette herself which prompts the CUTEST ANGRY YELL OF “it’s cosette!” I HAVE EVER SEEN

also thenardier fuckin MANHANDLING cosette i’m DYING

JVJ LOVES HER SM I AM SOFTTT

(The Beggars)

omg marius is so ADORABLE i love him

gavroche is a style icon

kid holding sign saying “my mom got laid off” POOR BB

i love éponine

that’s it that’s the note

wait a sec was that montparnasse with the prostitute earlier in beggars??

ALSO I SEE AZELMA AND OTHER THENARDIER KIDS PRESENT FOR “turn on the tears!!” THANK YOU FOR UTILIZING THAT LINE PROPERLY

why does enj have a bat?? If it;s not a bat then,,,what is it? someone please help me

marius saves cosette from bad guy gang!! 🥰🥰

bruh javert misses jvj running by like,,,MAYBE two seconds that is hilarious 

jav looks so done when thenardier is trying to get out of this lmao i love it

javert looks so cop-like it scares me

(Stars)

the line “safe behind bars” in stars kind of kills me here because as the audience you SEE the cruelty that the convicts face. you see the guy on the ground getting beaten you SEE the chains around their throats and yet. yet javert still somehow thinks that putting jvj in jail is safe? i think the thing to focus on here is not whether it’s safe, because it obviously isn’t. the focus is who it’s safer for, jean valjean or javert?

has it always been “your father” rather than “her father” when marius asks éponine to find where cosette lives?? if they changed it that is SMART because yk. jvj would be ALARMED if he found out he’d been found by éponine but he wouldn’t hurt her. he’s not the guy she has to worry about, it’s her own father. thenardier gave her a job and she’s straying from it, he’s what would endanger her.

THE PLAYFUL BOOP AND SHOVE FROM MARIUS 🥺🥺🥺

(The ABC Café)

“note-ruh daym”

hee hee pretty enjolras

pretty enjolras in skinny jeans even better

OOH we have,,,angry enjolras in this version o k a y

grantaire raises his hand before agog/aghast part omg

“i’ve never heard him ooOOOOh and aAAAAh *excited squeal*

“dan joo-wan” i love texas

bossuet spotted :)

longing gay looks NOT spotted :(

i love enjolras okay but this one is just,,,a little too aggressive. enjolras isn’t just angry all the time, he’s not that one dimensional. of course, there is more of the show to see and i hope he changes a little bit, but so far red and black isn’t doing much for me. enjolras is hopeful, not just angry.

A CAPELLA SECTION IN RED AND BLACK?? I think YES

the amis finding out lamarque is dead has “fuck trump just won the election” energy

okay i was hoping that enj would change his aggression thing when they find out lamarque is dead (bc that’s when most enjolrai figure out what may happen and kinda sober up yk) but. it doesn’t look like he did. there is hope for barricade scenes

OMG LIL NOTE ON COMBEFERRE GIVING OUT FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS: that is fucking pERFECT and yk why?? because it’s a call to action!! it’s less obvious in DYHTPS because they’re mostly singing to each other but later in epilogue when the words and melody is repeated, it’s meant as a call to action! “will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me?” is a cALL TO ACTION AND THEY ARE HANDING FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS—that’s officially the only way to break the fourth wall THANK YOU 

hey fantine doubles as a student i think!!

HARMONIES ARE C L E A N OOOOH

(In My Life-Heart Full Of Love)

okay yes i already love cosette because she plays awkward-teen-in-love-for-the-first-time PERFECTLY. 

book-ish cosette hell yes a cutie

father-daughter forehead kisses 🥺

awkward mARIUS TIMEEEEE

placing marius, éponine, and cosette in a triangle is a MARVELOUS decision thank u for that symbolism

marius checking if he looks good and ép giving him a thumbs up omg

*aggressively tries to sit normally* same cosette

*awkward curtsy* also same cosette 

(Attack On Rue Plumet)

robbery time let’s see how they do this

ooh marius and cosette run off but i can’t tell if they notice gang before running

thenardier fuckin SLICES éponine after her scream

NOOOO HER LIL WHIMPER AFTER BEING THREATENED AGAIN

(One Day More)

this lil part between robbery and one day more is interesting bc i legit have NO idea what jvj is thinking here. he keeps looking between his watch (i think it’s a watch idk) and cosette after she runs off to pack so like. what. is he doing here bc he looks like he’s choosing between two things but i don’t,,know,,what things

red berets on the amis are dope btw

i think marius is discussing what to do with éponine here, which is FUN because we all know why she goes to the barricade in the brick :’) éponine might be convincing marius to go to the barricade knowing this is her chance to die with him like in the book

omg

OMG

OMG

that stomp bit with the students was the coolest fucking thing i’ve ever seen

END OF ACT ONE

act two will be posted shortly :D

[beigejournals]

Season 5 Lucifer

welcome to my unsolicited thoughts about Season 5 of Lucifer.  

as an avid and veteran series binger AND a talker-while-watching-a-movie-or-series-but-does-not-want-to-spoil-anything-for-my-friends type of person, i have finally dedicated a space and found a good way to let all my thoughts out as i watch a movie or series when i am alone when i can’t bother a lot of people because (1) they don’t want to be bothered and (2) i don’t want to spoil things for them.

so here are my thoughts, and of course, SPOILERS AHEAD.

BTW, i LOVED all of Lucifer! but this season was a slow burn for me. 

ep1

drug scene at Lux; is Amenadiel mean now?

so is Lucifer himself in his own hell loop when he became the ruler of hell? his own guilt towards his father? idk (to be frank, i don’t remember the past episodes except for the fact that he is now back in hell)

the premise of the first episode is cute!

side note after the title card: i remember how much i loved the soundtrack for Lucifer!

Maze is still hot.

I love how Maze and Chloe’s relationship developed and how they don’t have to use words to communicate.

Amenadiel’s and the Psychologist’s house HAHAHAHA i love it.

is Charlie Jesus? His mom’s faith in front of Ella is like every mom plus every religious person ever haha

YES. ELLA. YOU. DESERVE. A. GOOD. GUY.

self-improvement is now a meme, huh?

Dan is me.

comment on drug scene: Amenadiel is still the same, haha!

Maze and the card, haha!

how was the guy in the mask face (did i just say mask face?) blurred but in the party, Los Angeles was in perfect accuracy. excuse me.

coming out of the dead: “oh sorry, that’s so gross!” LORDT HAHA

love you, Charlie! hope you don’t feel like you have to perform because your mom expects a lot from you and that’s so ironic because she’s a psychologist!

Dan’s speeches about parenting: i get it tho, parents try to love their child, sometimes, they just don’t know how

also, i think it’s the sister but Chloe’s just a softie

lol Maze is jealous that Chloe got to talk to Lucifer and trying to say that they don’t need Lucifer.

OOF MAZE.

i forgot about what happened with Eve.

GUYS THE MURDERER IS LITERALLY GOING TO ESCAPE.

the amount of projection as defense mechanism in this episode is too much it feels like it’s too on the nose.

but i do love the parallel between what’s happening on Earth and in hell.

the amount of layers in this question either it’s Lucifer’s or his or his sister’s (assuming it is his sister who was behind his murder)

ok apparently it’s not his sister.

me in law school:

sana all kaya kang mahalin na babalik from hell. kilig aq.

also, after all these years, Lucifer’s house has been so clean!!! wala man lang alikabok

if she’ll be fine without him then who tf is that?

ok i read the synopsis for the next couple of episodes. i don’t like spoilers. don’t make the same mistake.

ep2

i’m Ella when it comes to my friends’ special people HAHA

also, i love the slight lean to one side to show us that this is not the real Lucifer.

why does he have to be naked???

it’s so funny for me how they have to reestablish him. LUCIFER NEVER LIES HAHAHAHAHA yes we can remember now after you repeated it 3x.

ALSO WHY IS EVERYTHING TO ON THE NOSE. EVERY SECOND IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING. was it always like this?

Oh Michael. Nice. Was he an archer? We love the American accent.

how can Amenadiel not know that was Michael? GANON KA IDENTICAL SIZ?

we love the unnecessary car chase just to  reinstate the fact that this is a crime show

that slomo with the wings!!!

also everything is so slow with this show!!! idk why but everything feels just a little bit slower (or maybe i just want lucifer and chloe to be together? idk)

gwapo ni lucifer nung nagmomol sila ni Maze pls

cringe ng elevator scene

ykw. i think it’s because i like the lucifer character that’s why i’m impatient. he hasn’t been appearing the way i want him to.

see. you don’t have to remind me so much about the show because i know he was supposed to say “what is it that you truly desire” not fear. I FEEL LIKE THIS SEASON IS DUMBING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THE SHOW FOR SO LONG. okay sige.

either she knows it’s not him or SHE’S REALLY THAT NICE AND POWERFUL OF A HUMAN BEING.

oh i’ve been questioning whether they had sex already and this episode answered my question

CRINGE coffee scene: the spoon???

random question: are angels virgins? so is Michael a virgin?

what kind of a person would just go deep on someone else’s pocket just because they ran out of money?

knew it Maze won’t do Chloe dirty like that!

thanks Chloe. u know better than that. (full disclosure: I THOUGHT SHE WAS ACTING BADLY APPARENTLY A GOOD ACTOR CAN ACT BADLY TO PROVE A POINT?)

literally just liked it and now there’s a new secret that was said too soon.

God baka naman pwede mo ko gawing Chloe Decker char.

AH so interesting. Lucifer = Desire. Michael = Fear. Too on the nose again but that time, i needed the guidance because i am a dumbass.

God ain’t raising his children right!

ep3

yes explain everything to me it’s literally not like we have been binging this show for 2 hours straight

see, the Lucifer character is really endearing. i’m enjoying myself again hahaha. (well, i guess Lucifer when he’s with Chloe?)

can i just say that Tom Ellis was born for that role. he fits is so well that him acting as his own twin doesn’t sit well with me.

i just feel like this show was written by a psychologist who liked watching murder shows.

it’s Lucifer, Chloe!!! siya yon.

ep4

love Lucifer-Chloe tandem!

we love how the actors can sing and the show gives them a chance...

one thought: is everyone going to play a double of who they are?

also is Maze the daughter of Lucifer?

i love how they’re transcending mediums, reminds me of Community with their random episodes.

there you go, Chloe’s doing the double acting too.

Now it’s Linda. (so maybe this is the episode i was asking about earlier).

Now it’s Ella.

omg is this why i loved fleabag, it took forever for the Priest and Fleabag to finally do it? no. i just love the Priest.

Charlotte’s back! and the distance from the table shows how not okay they are. okay.

green screen while driving i love it.

now, Daniel!

we love gender fluidity? i guess. i’m not sure how you call it but i appreciate.

Lilith’s dress for the second song. OMG.

there again to make us dumb. after we just watched the whole thing happen, they retell the whole story again. damn. they think we dumb.

literally this season is making every girl kiss Chloe.

why did she blow the ring? was that her life?

what’s that song in the end?

OH that was the reason why she was retelling everything.

damn celestial beings are the worst parents.

ep5

i wanna be Dr. Linda Martin please.

i appreciate Lucifer wearing the bracelet until now. (but i expected nothing less)

i’ve always loved how people reacted to Amenadiel. he always seemed nerdy but these are times where he truly shine and im so happy.

i forgot.  i think i was showering that time that Michael and Lucifer fought and theyre hella dumb. ok lets go toxic masculinity mixed with daddy issues.

i know they’re too on the nose ABOUT EVERYTHING but i do like the debate about free will and predestination

honestly i don’t know what’s Chloe’s issue is with being made by God probably just because i’m lazy and i just want to lay everything in His hands but coming from a very atheistic perspective where she comes from i kinda get it. i guess my only reasoning why i’m okay with God’s reason is with her is because of my fear of the unknown; my current fear with not knowing my true purpose. at least she got hers! what is she complaining about?

oh i get it now, but that’s why there’s free will Chloe (or idk, idk how God works; there’s currently no electricity in my house rn. i don’t get how that works even if we pay for our electricity all the time, how am I suppose to know God’s plans?)

but aren’t well created for something else? looking at a selfish perspective, maybe He created all of us just because He wanted to.

wow. literally when the nun kissed Amenadiel, the lights in our house opened up. if that ain’t God. idk who that is.

wow that’s so interesting.

“There are no shortcuts.” 🥺

he exposed himself i’m interested. what if i were the one to whom that was exposed to... how would i react?

another sample of them explaining to us WHAT WE ALREADY CAN INFER FROM THE SHOW (the conversation actually continues to dumb it down for the audience) but i get it. it’s religion and fiction built together.

oh i just cringed i almost vomited with this 

also can i just share these. these are the funniest thing Chloe said on the show.

ep6

OOF what a horrifying way to start the episode (after the beach fiasco)

they’re holding us. that’s so adorable!!!

ugh. im still cringing.

yes jowa for ella yes pls. ELLA YOU SAID YOU WANT A NICE GUY!!! HE’S THERE!!! i’ll take him if you won’t!

Chloe if you don’t want Lucifer, i’ll take him too!

can i say how proud i am of Chloe and Dan’s relationship. it’s very healthy for what they are. add Lucifer and Dan to that too! we love men.

also the women in this show have bad taste in men. (except for who Linda married, i guess)

we love the seasonal girl’s night!

that whole charlie thing being amused by lucifer’s devil face is the best bit

was it Michael calling? and oh noooo ;(

FUCKEN MICHAEL

ngl i could have waited for another season for them to have sex on season 6 episode 6 but sure have it at season 5.

ep7

we love a person who wakes up and is not pretty. princess anna who? (i mean she is wearing full on make up, but we’re okay with that snore)

Deckerstar!! they made a word for it

our mojo??? does it only work on lucifer or does it work when she does it to others as well, we shall find out.

oh no! Lucifer’s isn’t working at all HAHAHAHA

it’s currently 2:19 AM. i am tired and sleepy.

Dan talking to Charlotte 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Fucking Michael

oh he emphasized archangel Michael. with my limited knowledge being raised Catholic, i was going to ask earlier if he was an archer because he had crooked shoulders. AND I JUST CHECKED. ARCHANGEL MEANS HIGH RANKING ANGEL NOT AN ANGEL WHO’S A FUCKING ARCHER. me being raised Cathlolic means nothing. HAHAHH

now i’m realizing if i see an angel, maybe i won’t be in the situation where i’ll see Amenadiel but Michael

NO NO NO AMENADIEL

i love this HAHAHAHAHA

knew it. called it! worked on lucifer ONLY. HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE THAT MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LORD BAKA NAMAN.

i’m ella shipping them.

THEYRE SPEAKING TAGALOG HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

what song was that? “When it hurts, just to breathe” same

The Shining reference no thank you pls

NAAAH i really can’t do horror things especially not with things i truly fear and when i don’t have a curtain on. No thanks.

14:54 and i’m watching again open the lights bro, it’s easier to find clues that way   also i do get that they’re closing it to ensure that the killer is not there but theyre also moving like the killer is not there anyway so better open up the lights! tho i really know nothing about crime solving (i just typed crime solving instead of solving crimes didn’t i)

we stan ella’s healthy relationship!!!

can i just say there was a time where i can’t even say serial killer out loud so this is really hard for me to watch alone

i know that he’s vulnerable around the detective. BUT SHE SAID HE CHOSE TO BE SO BY NOW HE SHOULDN’T BE AFFECTED BY WHAT HE DID.

Fucken Michael.

ep8

how attractive can you be that even in slow motion, you look great.

oh apparently he did not die.

ALSO OO NGA CHLOE. US2 MO SIYA MAMATAY TEH.

CHLOE THE OVERTHINKER but i get it. BUT STILL.

you know that montage of people just studying and it’s now happening to chloe trying to solve a crime. that’s my cinematography goal HAHAHA. it’s been awhile since i’ve been invested in studying like that.

Lucifer can be just so immature some times

is KillShare based off of SkillShare?

also i’m thinking that Chloe was either taken by Michael or Dan or the SK.

that ring of Lucifer on Maze is probably the longest ring someone has waited for.

i love Maze’s eye make up! ALL THE TIME!

if the lady here is not detective and they’re relieved. that’s just fucked up, man. they were slightly relieved. that’s good acting HAHAHAHAHA.

I’M JUST PRAYING TO GOD THAT PETE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY AND NOT THE SERIAL KILLER COZ I CAN’T HATE THAT GUY PLEASE. the key and the research!!! WTF. stop trying to be smart, show!!!

his mojo is back, does that mean Chloe is gone? 😢

OH AFTER THE TAPES, I THINK IT IS THE BOYFRIEND. DAMN SHE’S REALLY INTO BAD MEN, ISN’T SHE?

I’M SO SCARED. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

THE FLOWERS ARE FRIGGIN KILLING ME.

kamukha niya pa si Penn Badgley, nice.

DOES HE GENUINELY LIKE HER OR IS THE KISS TO THROW HER OFF GUARD.

AH NO. i think he genuinely likes her. except that she... you know found that he’s a fucking murderer

HAHAHA PETE

right??? why does this show have to say everything out loud like don’t already know.

oh he just used her but then he liked her. idk. the way he speaks too, so nonchalant.

preach, ELLA!!!! shout out to those who had crappy childhoods and are not serial killers! that’s the bare minimum i guess.

go, Ella!!! know your worth!

lol made me love Pete, he’s funny.

ok my assumptions were right-ish.

HAHAHA, his american accent.

his choosing to be bot vulnerable around her anymore, Michael, i think is a way of him staying alive for Chloe but ofc Chloe will think that Lucifer would rather have his vulnerability than to be with her.

baka di lang love language ni Lucifer words of affirmation, okay! HE SAVED HER LIFE SO MANY TIMES AND NOW SHE’S DOUBTING BECAUSE HE HASN’T SAID I LOVE YOU YET??? SIZ. HE LITERALLY LEFT HELL FOR YOU.

MICHAEL STOP. Michael the shit stirrer. we all have that one friend.

awa me kay Maze. she’s like a lost dog throughout the show.

does Michael want to be God?

skipped thru the speech. cringe.

what’s Amenadiel’s problem with his child having a normal cold? what’s wrong if he’s a mere mortal?

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHO’W SO INSECURE. i get so annoyed every time Chloe’s mad that Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants

it’s just that i resonate with Lucifer. it’s hard for me to say i love you and now i think Amenadiel stopped time.

oh. i thought Amenadiel’s fears about Charlie being mortal was superficial, i just realized that he was afraid that his child was going to die. but, he can take him to heaven like what he did with Charlotte, right?

oh Michael.

MAZE! MICHAEL IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!! you’re fine! i don’t have a soul either.

celestial beings and their daddy issues and inability to communicate with one another and the desire to fight it out as if that’s the solution

HOTTEST BROTHERS EVER DAMN.

itong si God ngayon lang magpapakita anuna siz.

WHY ISN’T HE PLAYED BY MORGAN FREEMAN BUT OK.

CLIFFHANGER!!! IM MAD.

ep 8 should have been called blueballz tbh