#light speaks

[thelightofmylife]

I genuinely don’t care what people ship because I like to be left alone but pro shippers have this notorious running thing of stealing non pro shipper content or disrespecting their boundaries all together.

Your love for problematic f/o’s doesn’t make you a bad person. Your disrespect and inherent lack of care for people who choose to disagree and disengage DOES make you a complete fucking shit bag though!

Pro shippers idc if you interact just don’t be fucking weird about this or straw man a whole “oh but an anti did this once and that’s why I steal content :(“ I am begging you to shut the fuck up and use a SINGLE brain cell

Stealing content is literally never okay and neither is actively disrespecting a DNI. PLEASE be a grown fucking ass adult that you claim to be and leave them alone !!!!

The ONLY moral of the post you should take away from this is “respect other people’s boundaries and don’t force your ideas onto other people and stop stealing content” because it’s so horrifically toxic and it’s why a good lot of you are so nasty to be friends with.

[actuallylight]

It’s November 5. L’s death anniversary. The anniversary of me being L. The anniversary of “winning” against him. The anniversary of realizing how empty the world is without him. Also Destiel Day but that one’s hardly important.

I think I’m going to get vulnerable today.

TW: ED, SH, and sui mentions. Also lots of canon talk

I joke a lot about being God. I poke fun at this day and laugh it off like it didn’t happen. Mainly because it didn’t happen. This is just some random event that happened in an animanga series that I just so happened to be pulled from, trauma included.

I think the reason I make those jokes is to try and shield myself from the truth. I’m not Light. I’m not Kira. I’m not a college student. I just have false memories implanted in my brain that I am those things. Source separation is important, but it’s so, so hard. I want to be Light. I want to be able to express myself as Light free of judgement in order to heal. But the world tells me I can’t. Neither can Ryuzaki. Neither can Misa. Nobody can, not even our brainmades, because that’s appropriation.

I have tried so hard to forget November 5 and January 28. I have sat through those episodes and tried to not react but I can’t. November 5 was a turning point for me in canon. I was severely depressed before I got the notebook. I hardly ate, I didn’t see the point in anything, and I just wanted an out. I’ll get more into that on the 28th, but for now I’ll just say that the Death Note was my reason to live.

Then, as I matured and continued my mission, I met L. He was so infuriating. He was challenging. He pushed all of my buttons but he understood me. He saw me for who I was when no one else could. But I couldn’t let that happen. I had to kill him and win. I had to be God. So I did just that. He died.

I remember how it felt to have him die in my arms. He was so vulnerable. He clung onto me like I was his last hope. The light left his eyes and I wanted to laugh. I went home and wanted to gloat to Ryuk about winning, but I didn’t. I was hit with the realization that he was gone. My only challenger was gone. There was no point anymore.

I’ve done a lot of stupid shit both within my past lives and this one. I bleed to stop hurting. I starve to block out hunger. I want to die to feel alive. I get nightmares almost every single night reminding me that I am dead and so is L. We died and that was that. Sometimes I can feel his heart stop beating. Sometimes I feel mine stop too. We’re tied together in all of the worst possible ways but we still keep crawling back because we’re in love. We’re two doomed monsters just trying to find reasons to live in each other. We find life in the other despite the knowledge that we tried to kill each other and did.

There has not been a single day where I haven’t regretted November 5. I missed him. I still miss him even though we share a brain now. I’m so tired of the constant reminder that he was dead. We were dead. We got a second chance and we’re blowing it.

I want to take the last section of this post to talk about L. He’s the person who pulls me out of dark spaces. He reminds me that there is good in the world and not all people out there are evil. He bandages my wounds and hides my blades and pills when I’m at my worst. He’s the most caring person I know by far. I love him so, so much and I’ll never not regret the shit I put him through. All of the pain, death, and general suffering that I caused him. It’s my fault, but somehow he doesn’t care. I’m so grateful to him and I’m so sorry that it took me this long to say it.

I’m sorry, L. You are the best thing in my life. You didn’t deserve to die at my hand. I love you so much. I don’t know how you can forgive me so easily, but you have and I’m grateful. I still want to become a better person. Not just for you, but for the sake of the world and our system. I want to make things right. I want to live again.

I’m sorry.

[lightupthenigth]

I cannot post this anywhere else because it’s spoilers for my Masks character and all my friends follow me everywhere else but I’m so goddamn happy with it that I have to put it here.

This is Pendragon! He’s a mix of the Star and the Newborn playbooks (The Starborn) as in he is an android built to be the “perfect” hero of the people. This is his “skinned” look, but I’ve got a rough ref sheet for him too. I’m so over the moon excited to play him! Just waiting for us to all have the time to Finally get on call for session zero!

[apollos-boyfriend]

reblog if you agree

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[thelightofmylife]

Rika chan… sighing…

Imagine ur f/o. Ok but get this. Imagine them in a tie. Ok now imagine the tie is untied hanginh around their neckchfgxvsgdgvgvfsxvfccvvvvgbnkkiuioouhhggggggghhhhhhhhhhh,…… ang their sleeve. rolled up

[badolmen]

People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.

For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.

The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.

So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.

Edit: if you are able, use $5 you would otherwise use for a streaming subscription to donate to a GazaFunds campaign.

[mothmanavenue]

the way i love biblically accurate gojo is not appreciated or understood nearly enough he’s such a fucking freak more people need to draw him as the fucking terrifying piece of shit he is

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

He would not go there.

[foolsocracy]

Anyone have any fab five Halloween costume ideas?

[lgbtlunaverse]

Fanon likes to portray Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji as being jealous of each other because they fear wei wuxian will choose one of them over the other. Which is ignoring the fact that at least in novel canon Jiang Cheng did not even fucking know wangxian ever got along let alone that lwj was in love with wwx until at the very end of the story (in cql canon he does go through a wangxian phase early on and gets very confused by their "breakup" during wwx's sunshot era) and that Lan Wangji is mostly filled with loathing towards both himself and Jiang Cheng for 'abandoning' Wei Wuxian and not being able to save him.

It also ignores the much bigger point that both Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng are actually jealous of Wen Ning. And why wouldn't they be? That is who Wei Wuxian chose in his first life. He left the Jiang, told Lan Wangji to fuck off no he is not coming to gusu with you, and spent his days with his little-brother-shaped corpse bestie on his mountain in yiling. And then when he came back he immediately called him up the second he could string together more than two notes on a flute. Wen Ning is the real competition. (And he's winning)

[thelightofmylife]

Maroon and karma!

Hello friend!! Thank you for the ask 💞

MAROON -> With Lancelot (GBF), I think ours is something cerulean or sea glass like. While it does borrow from the fact he himself wields water and ice elemental power, I also relate to back to the fact I myself love the feeling of being covered in water and beaches too. This color can be associated w/ Justice, and both of us can find solace in one another, like how the sea meets the beach, and fight for justice.

KARMA -> for Louis (code vein) karma is what possesses him almost. He finds that, to combat his previous sins that have cursed not only himself but the world too, he must do everything he can to right his wrongs. I myself am a casual Buddhist and believe deeply in karma, that we must seek to do right to have right done upon us. However, his need for it can be harmful whereas I have a more casual, healthier relationship w it ~~

Thank you for asking and reading hehe ~ <33

[actuallylight]

Killing those people wasn’t real and I should know that. My memories are still weird but I need to work on that. Still, I’m not sure what to do.

Someday, I know I’ll get better. Over time, I’ll be able to separate myself. Or maybe I’ll even be able to live normally. No one knows for sure.

He’s trying to talk me through it again. Even if I feel better, I’m not sure what’ll happen. L seems optimistic though. Praying that he’s right. My dreams are getting a bit better though. Even if there’s still a lot going on :)

[lightupthenigth]

I am so very very excited right now because the arm gun for my protoman cosplay is ALMOST DONE!!!! This is the first time I’ve gotten really close to finishing something for real without the incentive of a grade or class. I’m so excited to go to my comic con and kick ass in this cosplay!!!!!!!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

something about first impressions idk

bonus:

[happyheidi]

𝗂𝗀: 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖾.𝖼