#lifewithleel

[lifewithleel]

2021 day 336/365

First night in the hotel. The next two months got lots in store for growth, healing and joy.

How will I use this time and space alone? What ideas will I put into action? Who will I stay in touch with? Where will I move to next?

[lifewithleel]

20/20 wk 19/52

Hidin from the world like my new kitty friend

[lifewithleel]

20/20 wk 4/52

for every death

there is new life

[lifewithleel]

20/20 wk 10/52

march 5, 2020

10 years

i’ve realized there’s no destination

only the process

[lifewithleel]

20/20 wk 9/52

life is short

live it how you want it lived

[lifewithleel]

20/20 wk 1/52

days go by fast

patterns become clearer

choices are challenging

[lifewithleel]

2k19 // 52 weeks // wk27

Y’all

I’ve had the same job for 5 months now. Lived in the same place, paying bills on time, figuring it all out one day at a time for about 6 months now. Been in Florida for like 9 months.

In the same time it usually takes a pregnancy, I have grown. Not as much as the bun in the oven would but still. I’ve actually saved money in a savings account! Like, stacked up bill money for NEXT month on top of what I have aside for this month.

Where’s the next 9 months gonna take me? 6 months even?

A better paying job? A new living space? Out the country? I’m supposed to have goals I’m working toward. But I don’t have concrete ones this time around. Just emotional and financial goals. I think now’s the time for physical and spiritual goals.

Let’s get it!

[lifewithleel]

2k19 // 52 weeks // wk34

Love is a complex thing. It’s a complex string of words. It’s a complex pattern of actions. It seems out of reach every time you try to fight for it. Should we fight over it? Or cry even? What is love. Besides reciting the Bible. What. Is. Love.

I could tell you all the things love ain’t. But it still don’t explain what love is.

[lifewithleel]

Got more love for myself now than I have in the past few years and it’s some good shit lemme tell you.

Lost some people. Lost some weight. Lost some old habits. Lost some negative thoughts.

Gained a brighter smile.

[lifewithleel]

2k19 // 52 weeks // wk24

I could start a blog w the shit I hear at work. Oh wait, I got one. Just that nobody reads it.

But I write anyway.

I been thinking:

Why y’all keep all the drama around you? Do you invite it. Sit in it. Soak in it. Do you like it? Not like it.

What I ever do to you? Would you tell me to my face. Talk behind my back.

Does God make your life less drama filled? More. Happy. Sad. Joyful. Pained. Worried.

Am I the only one going thru the day trying not to give up? Thinking about all the ways I could die. Wondering why I’m alive in the first place.

[lifewithleel]

2k19 // 52 weeks // wk25

And sometimes you spend all your tips to get a new outfit for pride.

It’s crazy I’m even goin. Haven’t been to a pride event in years. And this one expected to bring 250,000 people all over Florida to Downtown St. Pete. It’s boutta be a good mf time. Believe that.

[lifewithleel]

your 52 weeks

what was it like?

where did you grow?

what did you learn?

how often did you feel like caving?

what kept you motivated?

[lifewithleel]

3/29/19

[lifewithleel]

2021 day 349/365

Let the dirty 30’s begin! If you wanna bless me send love to the cashapp.

[lifewithleel]

2021 day 335/365

I made it a whole year

Still breathing still living still trying

But I’m still struggling too. Things aren’t great yet. Lost my job. Gave up on another one. Crashed my car and waiting for new wheels. Celebrated 6 years post op. Found out my ex fiancé passed away on the same day I met someone new. Remembered the birthdays of my grandpa and great grandma in heaven with both death anniversaries coming up. Just spending time w the people I care about before time runs out. Trying to follow thru w my case manager and get into this program to get some employment and housing resources.

My 30s aren’t starting where I wanted but they’re starting and I’m fighting tryna give it my all. No excuses. Just progress.

[lifewithleel]

52 weeks / wk36

not everyone will get a second chance...

so this time i will focus on follow through. practice being the man i want to be. loving my body and mind. trusting my gut. and forgiving my past.

today, i remember i am capable.

with or without you.