#lifethroughneweyes

[jmikepatt]

Reflections on the Last Moments We Don’t See

Looking back, I see moments that feel like soft warnings I didn't understand. The fear of the unknown can close the mind, building a wall that shields us from the truth we’re not prepared to face. The last Thanksgiving we spent together was filled with laughter, stories, and traditions, as always. I watched you, completely unaware it would be the last time we’d share those moments. When Christmas came, it was no different—more smiles, more memories, and the assumption that there would be another. I should have known, but I didn’t.

Life has a way of showing us signs, even gentle ones, but we don’t always see them. Sometimes, it’s easier to miss them when we’re wrapped in the comfort of routine, expecting the people we love to always be there. Since you’ve been gone, something in me has shifted. My eyes have opened, and I now see life through a different lens—one that’s painfully aware of its fleeting nature and the importance of truly being present.

Grief has a strange way of lifting veils from our eyes. Since you left, I’ve seen things with clarity. I no longer take moments for granted; I no longer assume that “later” is promised. I’m starting to understand the depth of those final moments and the preciousness of every single day we’re given. With this new perspective, I’m living more openly—seeing the beauty, noticing the details, and finding the courage to face the unknown.

I realize now that an open mind is a gift. It’s a choice to see things for what they are, even if they’re painful or difficult. As I move forward, I’m trying to carry this awareness with me—to appreciate each interaction, each holiday, and each quiet moment that we often rush through. I’m choosing to see life clearly, to honor the love we shared, and to live in a way that truly matters.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." —Psalm 90:12

Enjoy the day you create!

[bright365]

I’ve been trying to figure out a way to start this for some time now. I still haven’t figured it out but here we go...

How to help the grieving

Just over a year ago my mother passed away.

Wait.

That’s a lot to unpack. How? Why?

I’m not yet ready to talk about it because I might not make it through this one thing I’ve been trying to do for so long.

I don’t know how many points there will be.

I feel like I needed to share because I realized there are so many people on both sides who have no idea what the entire fuck to do.

#1 cry

#2 don’t cry

#3 don’t apologize for #1 or #2 (it’s ok to laugh at that even when you’re grieving)

#4 when you ask what you can do, offer a solution!

Grieving people only want that person back so, offer what’s in your wheelhouse. A massage, help with the memorial service, food delivery etc. Keep offering. People who are grieving can’t figure it out. Come cut the grass, clean the gutters, sit with them. It all matters. Be a person who is earnest in their offers.

#5 if you haven’t been through what the person is going through don’t make a comparison. You sound like an asshole. They love you and won’t tell you but I will. Your plant isn’t equivalent to my Mom so, stop it.

#6 it comes in waves.

Today is Mother’s Day and I woke up feeling “ok”. I thought I was nailing it, finally. Then, just before I left my house I suddenly felt like I was going to sob all over the place. That’s a thing. You, as a griever, need to know it’s ok.

You as a loved one of a griever needs to understand that it comes in waves.

#7 Everyone grieves differently.

Some may be super active and need to take care of everything.

What I’ve been experiencing is a lack of motivation and it sucks! I’m a super self motivated person but sometimes all I can do is shower and maybe interact with some people some times and that my friends is a super winning day. I’m doing my best and it’s fucking hard to even do those things.

Ok, there’s more later....

Keep trying whatever that means for you right now. ❤️

[bright365]

How to help the grieving pt 2

8. No one knows what to say

Alternatively entitled: don’t take it personally

This is another hard part. Sometimes it feels disheartening/frustrating when people don’t reach out.

Here’s the kicker...what does/can anyone say?

Is it safe to speak about your loved one? Are you feeling “fine” today and they don’t want to f it up by bringing it up.

Alternatively, are you wanting someone to just talk about the elephant in the room so you can feel safe?

The truth is no one knows what to do. A very dear friend told me “never apologize for your grief”. It’s so difficult sometimes, but be honest as much as you can with how you’re doing today.

For those who are trying to help, I’ve found it comforting for my loved ones to bring up my mom and their personal or our shared stories. It keeps my mom alive and relieves the pressure of me trying to help them deal with my current situation by “being on”.

Sometimes sadness, anger, acceptance, bargaining or denial are are present or under the surface. You don’t know what you’re going to experience in any given moment and neither do those who are near and dear. Give yourself grace. Express what you can when you can. Love and give gratitude when you are able.

Everyone is doing their level best.

xoxo

Jewel Kiosha

[bright365]

Spent my morning surfing for the 1st time in almost 4 yrs to the day. I've missed how soothing just being in the ocean can be. It was hard work & the ocean gave me a hard time for being gone so long but we made up. Couldn't believe I was out there for almost 3 hrs. Time flies when you're in love. #iworkoutlikethis #lifeisbeautiful365 #lifethroughneweyes #inlovewithwaves #dayoff

[bright365]

The majestic blue & purple light at the end made it worth me kicking my own a$$ & do valley ridge a few times after work. #iworkoutlikethis #lifeisbeautiful365 #lifethroughneweyes

[bright365]

Hit the stairs again today and what do we come across on the way down? My very own minion! Rob: are you serious? Me: are you kidding me? hell yeah! I've been searching for one since maya found hers. #iworkoutlikethis #lifeisbeautiful365 #lifethroughneweyes #bright365 #iloveminions #noreallyiwantone

[bright365]

Today was a stay-in-the-house-all-day kinda day. Major thanks to #instacart. geez they save me. Still eating healthy because they deliver whole foods, Bristol farms, & Ralphs. Beauty in simplifying life. He made me my favorite fresh green juice so I made him pasta from scratch. #QuidProQuo #lifeisbeautiful365 #lifethroughneweyes #bright365 #igetsdowninthekitchen #dontsleep

[bright365]

"The Art of Life" 1000 piece puzzle. Part 1. Put it together. #lifeisbeautiful365 #lifethroughneweyes #bright365

[bright365]

The infamous culver city stairs the morning of July 4th. I struggled getting up this am because I was sore all over, tired ...blah blah blah excuses. So I did it anyway. I know the view at the top is a-ma-zing! But, this is the work, the path to get there. The steps are uneven in height, width & distance apart & covered in sand. Every step has to be deliberate or else you'll break your friggin neck. And when you get to what you think is the top because it's as far as your eyes can see...wait there's more. It's difficult yet so worth the work to make it to the top again and again. But that's success, right? Thanks to @masterlocke1984 for pushing me to go my hardest. #lifeisbeautiful365 #lifethroughneweyes #bright365

[bright365]

I’ve seen this building a million times but never like this.

[bright365]

If you live in LA, you’ve seen this guy, Lavelle. He always has a smile on his face as he dances like MJ to music pumping from a mini stereo player next to the 10 west ramp on Crenshaw. More importantly are the daily handwritten signs that, somehow, are right on the mark.

Today, I finally stopped and chatted with him to find out what drives him to show up and show out everyday. He says he gives us all he has and it’s simply to “uplift, encourage and inspire” because he knows what we’re going through. He wants to remind us that we “have hidden talents and skills that will make [us] prosper.”

Lastly, "You are the master of your thoughts and emotions. They can only stress you out if you allow it." ~ Lavelle

So, maybe take a detour and drive by Lavelle. He's rooting for you to win.