#life's a mess right now and this game is keeping me sane

[rurukatt]

one day you'll get actual decent RDR2 art from me, but today is not that day

[spookiesmausoleum]

𝐌𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

This is a game that has extremely heavy themes, so please be aware of that! There's some things said that are extremely dark within their own context, so discretion is advised. Also obvious dialogue spoilers for the game.

Remember to specify muse for multi-muses!

"I hope this hurts."

"The only thing that's worth than dyin' is not gettin' paid."

"Man. Pony Express bosses really aren't chill at all, huh?"

"C'mon. One look won't hurt."

"How exactly is this group therapy committee planning on getting in there?"

"I nearly corked a kid once!"

"You were goddamn born fully corked!"

"For better or worse I'm captain now. I'll figure it out."

"He doesn't want to keep still anymore."

"What about the pain killers?"

"...You did make it through nursing school right?"

"I'll take care of it."

"Why do you think he did it?"

"Does it matter? What answer would make you feel any better?

"I have to believe our worst moments don't make us monsters, [name]."

"He tried to take us all down with him, [name]."

"As I see it there's two reasons to keep him alive at this point. Guess the important bit is that we all agreed to it. For one reason or another."

"I'm workin'. Blue collar fools can't afford to stop working even when the machine does. Go figure."

"I ain't letting anyone else mess around in there."

"I warned her, but it was in one ear and out the other."

"Then there's that teeny bopper only thinkin' with his downstairs longnose just like my useless kids back home."

"Are we doing the right thing...?"

"...Are you listening?"

"Couldn't sleep again, but I passed the psych eval?"

"I do wish you'd open up a little more, [name]."

"He acts as if I do these things for fun."

"I've known him a long time. He won't try any bullshit with me."

"They can't expect me to work miracles!"

"I don't know what it means, but... it sounds like fun."

"Passed inspection, right? Shouldn't be an issue."

"I take it [name] diagnosed you with "being sane" then?"

"...How are things otherwise? Off the record."

"I like it. We're in control here."

"How come it always feels like you're standing on the edge of a bridge with your feet in cement?"

"Is this enough? Should I just stay here because I've been successful at it?"

"It's terrifying. I think, "Am I figured out? Is this all I'll ever be?" Or do I take the risk and try something new? Even if I'm bad at it."

"Hm. I guess I get it. You've reached the highest rung on this ladder and now you're thinkin' you might be on the wrong ladder altogether. Still a long way down from the top no matter how you look at it... While I'm still climbing and climbing."

"Hey I believe in you! Here. On Earth. Doesn't matter."

"...It's all mouthwash."

"I s'pose we'll smell good at least."

"Guess anyone could get seriously blasted off this stuff."

"Yeah and kill you in the process."

"...Hey. What's wrong?"

"That's all it said on the report from management. We will receive the paycheck for this delivery. I don't know anymore than that."

"...So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt."

"...[name]. If I had known..."

"I can go back to my, how'd you put it? "Struggle of a life.""

"I'm just working on my life being a place I don't have to fucking escape!"

"We're the ones you're trying to escape! Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean."

"You just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that still kept you as the hero."

"Let's have some fucking cake, hmm?"

"Come on. Stop with the noise."

"I know what everyone is thinking. The way they look at me. What can I even say?"

"I hope these make you feel fucking better."

"Take responsibility."

"Sometimes you can only get the subpar stuff. That' what makes the really good stuff, well, good, right?"

"Hey. We all tried to escape. It didn't work for any of us."

"I've thought many times, "Hey is this what peace feels like? And is this good enough?" If I'm being real it certainly isn't the best. So all I can try to do is make my life one I'm not trying to run from all the time."

"Mom found this internship for me. Such a slacker she said."

"I don't know. I just never know what I wanted to be. Never was good at anything."

"We're not done yet, [name]."

"Listen, listen! This is the best part. Aa-waay-oooo!"

"You're a mess, [name]."

"[name] pullin' the plug on the party before it's the last call!"

"you thinking about drinking that too?"

"Honestly, yeah. It'd probably just make me sick. Wouldn't fix anything, as much as I'd like it to."

"...You're not serious."

"Look I've entertained your sentimentality up until now, but I'm actually trying to fix things [name]!"

"...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"...I don't think I understood the pressure you were under before. Fuck. And you tried to tell me."

"Our worst moments don't make us monsters, huh?"

"I'll get us both through this."

"You heard [name]. I wouldn't put it past them to do something extreme right now."

"What would you have done?"

"Anything. Anything. You, the crew, you're all my responsibility."

"I know you'd never give me the gun to protect myself, so the least I can do... is make sure he never gets it either."

"...The bleeding won't stop. Just try to sit still [name]."

"It's alright, [name]. Calm down."

"I though you were dumber than a can of paint, always chewing me ear off about something. Useless ray of goddamn sunshine. Not an ace student, career workhorse or force of ambition. Just a damn good kid trying his best. You coulda taught an old fool like me a lot."

"Why can't any of you give me some time to fucking think!?"

"How do you still not understand? It's over. End of the fuckin' line."

"Take care of it."

"All I ever hear is how great of a leader you are. God, it's so annoying."

"Or this can be remembered as a tragedy. Despite what must have been the best efforts of it's acclaimed captain. The crew never found. No one survived to tell the tale."

"You're standing at the top. Feet in cement. I get it now. Right?"

"[Name], t-tell me you didn't."

"I won't give up on you, even like this, I believe in you. We're going to make it through this."

"I have something to say. So shut the fuck up and listen."

"So I got a collar shirt, a mortgage. Everything that makes a good man."

"I wanted to believe I was never one set-back away from my worst self."

"I've got nothing to hide. I'll face the music. I can see myself for what I am. But you? A cowardly, selfish motherfucker and you can't even see it."

"[Name]. I'm going to fix everything. We're going to make it."

"Fuck you."

"I know what you think of this predicament of yours. Poor you. Caged and misunderstood."

"Shut up. [Name] tried his best. I did too, but he's the better man."

"You really mean all that, huh?"

"I fucked up, but I can make things right."

"You always had my back. I ended up I ended up hurting you even though I was trying to save us."

"It's like you said, together we can fix anything."

[atiny-piratequeen]

Play Bratty games....

Summary: ...Win bratty prizes. Did you really think you'd get by running your mouth to a god like that without him putting you back in your place?

𓆩⟡𓆪 Pairing: Fem!Reader x Whiro (Jongho)

𓆩⟡𓆪Genres/Aus: Against the Tide Verse (its an Au in an AU-), Non Idolverse, Smut

𓆩⟡𓆪Tws: Swearing, Jealousy

𓆩⟡𓆪Sws: (Everything is Safe, Sane, and Consensual), Bratty Reader, Brat tamer Whiro, Spanking, Slight Objectification, Degradation, Pierced Cock, Unprotected Sex, Claimin, Rough Sex, Creampie

𓆩⟡𓆪Rating: Explicit/Mature (18+)

𓆩⟡𓆪WC: 600+

𓆩⟡𓆪A/n: For any of my non AtTiny who want to know who Whiro is and how he's tied to Jongho...idk maybe read a bombastic in progress work of art that explains it all cough cough.

This was a popcorn commission from the lovely @atiny-dazzlinglight that I finished a bit ago but life happened and I didn't post it till now. Sorry for the hold up and I hope you and all my AtTiny can enjoy~

𓆩⟡𓆪AO3| Taglist Form (Please make sure your urls are updated and able to actually be tagged) | Commission Sheet𓆩⟡𓆪

𓆩⟡𓆪Network Ping- @kwritersworld| @k-vanity | @cultofdionysusnet𓆩⟡𓆪

𓆩⟡𓆪©atiny-piratequeen. do not repost, translate, or use my works𓆩⟡𓆪

তততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

“You’re quiet now. What’s wrong? Nothing to say?” the growl of a man’s voice cut into the sounds of skin slapping against skin in the room. A tattooed arm is woven around your frame, with a firm grip placed on your throat as soft lips find their way to your ear. 

“C’mon~ I want to hear you mouth off again. Bring up the flower boy, isn’t that your favorite thing to do to rile me up? Mmm? Tell me again how you’ll just ask him to fuck you since I won't ‘give you enough attention’, was it? C’mon baby, I’m dying to hear it.” 

“W-Whi…ro-” You gasp out, clenching around him as he sped up the moment you force more than moans past your lips. Your eyes flutter, rolling back as your mouth falls open. His balls slap against the curve of your ass, and you have half a mind to be flustered by how wet it sounded. 

How many times had he come inside of you since he’d pinned you here, growling filth into your ear and pinning you with your hips propped up by pillows? 

“Be a good cock sleeve and sit right there. I’ll do all the work, since you think I’m not being a good enough man for you. We’ll play a game. If you can get your ass up after I’m done with you, I’ll relent and admit flower boy is a better lay.”

The same bratty side of you that got you in this position in the first place wanted to try your luck, see if you could run your mouth, but you’d ended up on your stomach faster than you had the chance to think of a witty comeback, a thick finger pushing into you as he chuckled. 

“You’re sopping back here. Does pissing me off make your pussy that much of a mess?”

“F-fuck you.” You hiss half-heartedly. He arched a brow, laughing to himself before placing a thunderous slap on your ass. You cry out and moan brokenly, eyes widening in surprise while he puts another finger in, stretching and curling them deep inside of you, his teeth grazing over your ear. 

“No, no. Tonight, you don’t get to. You get to be a perfect little breed slut.” 

And that’s how you ended up here, your hands fisted in the sheets, a blissed-out smile on your face as Whiro fucks into you, every thrust making the tip of his pierced cock kiss your cervix. His fingers flex against your throat and you almost cry out in need when you feel him loosen his grip, even if it's slightly. 

His weight on you, his growls in your ear, and the tattooed arm around your frame holding you were the only things keeping you grounded. He chuckled, pinning your hips with his own, speeding up and growling into your ear as your eyes fluttered closed. 

“Yes, yes, yes right there thank you!” You finally feel yourself clench and clamp down, your body trembling like a leaf as he pinned you with his hips, groaning loudly and cumming deep inside of you. He stayed settled, hips slowly working, milking every last drop of his cum inside of you with hard, powerful thrusts before slowly coming to a stop, smiling down at your spent and fucked out form. 

“Thank…you…thank you…ah~”

Whiro grinned, canines flashing. He wanted to ask if you felt like getting up and going to Geb like you’d teasingly threatened to do before this all started, but he took one look at you, sleepily kissing and nuzzling his palm, and decided he’d let you rest without teasing.

At least this time.

তততততততততততত Taglist তততততততততততত

@kimnamshiks @atiny-dazzlinglight @angel0taiyo @jacksons-goddess-gaia @gettin-a-lil-hanse @yunhofingers @seomisaho @ateezwonderland @smallfrye @spooo00oky @shymexican @stardragongalaxy @horizonmoonfics @delphinium3000 @xuxibelle @twistedsiren @soluvcore @dreamyinception-world @justatiredhuman @serialee @phoenixcode21 @yungiland @shingisimp @drunk-on-hwa @perfectlysane24 @asyamonet22 @sanraes @bangteezbaby (pspsp bby please refill the list taglist), @universe-sighted @netcookie @skmoonchild @babiebumm @jess-1404 @violetwinters @xlilehx

[what-gs-watching]

“Well…maybe I’ll save you.”

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING.

Sorry.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

That’s not much better, is it.

I just finished The Giggle and I’m sobbing over the fact that 10 finally gets everything he was chasing and I am clearly unwell. I knew this episode was going to break me but I didn’t realize how far they were going to push us over the cliff. Like. You don’t get this in Doctor Who, not ever. That’s almost the appeal of it, sometimes. 

But Russell T Davies just ripped out everyone’s heart in the best possible way.  I really can’t.

Blorp. Okay. 

The thing is….the thing is - I think everybody needed that. How satisfying must this be for David Tennant? And Catherine Tate? How are they not fit to bursting right now? That was so beautiful, gang. And they must be so proud.

But I’m gonna focus. Also, didn’t I say catharsis? Jesus christ, you can’t get more than that. I’m pretty sure they hit the fucking limit on catharsis. Wow. I’m a mess.

Focusing, though: wherein the Doctor and Donna have to say humanity from their own terrible base instincts because the Toymaker loves a good game. 

So we open on Soho in 1925 (which, is anyone else wondering where A.Z. Fell & Co is in relationship to the street they’re showing? No? Just me? Okay cool) and we’re taken into a creepy toy shop where we meet Neil Patrick Harris doing a super weird German accent and being a general creep. He sells a dummy to a man who says he needs it for his boss, who is around the corner working on inventing the concept of television broadcasting for the very first time.  

They pop the head off the dummy and leave it in a setup surrounded by a ton of lightbulbs and they go into another room to test it all out - and it works. But the heat from the bulbs is hot, too hot, which is why they needed an object, not an actual person. But of course, the creepy toyseller was obviously up to no good, and as the broadcast continues, the dummy head melts and lets out a terrible little giggle. Clearly, we’re in trouble.

Back in the present, the Doctor and Donna are in the streets of London trying to figure out what’s happening. Some guy argues with 14 who tries to stop him from attacking a car, saying that his taxes pay for the street but he doesn’t drive and he has the right to do whatever he wants with the roadway, thank you. Perfectly sound logic, and the guy is belligerent, saying two days ago everyone in the world decided they were right and wouldn’t listen to reason.  So that’s exciting.

Soon enough, UNIT finds them and they’re told to get Wilf somewhere safe while the Doctor and Donna follow them to headquarters. Where we finally get our eyes on Kate Lethbridge-Stewart who I absolutely love, she’s the “bitches get shit done” Tina Fey gif come to LIFE. Bitch will always be the new black, and that’s Kate, and exactly how she runs UNIT, loading it full of equally brilliant women, including Shirley who we’d met when dealing with The Meep, and Melanie, who was a companion to the 6th Doctor,

Who run the world? GIRLS.

Anyway, we get into explanation mode - two days ago there was a spike in aggression worldwide, the same spike across the board. It’s affecting everyone, even the people in government, but UNIT has a fun device that helps keep everyone wearing one sane. And Kate decides she’s going to demonstrate how fucked up the situation is - she asks them to take her device offline, so they do.

And she proceeds to spew a bunch of terrible things at the Doctor - how he’s an alien with two hearts that have infiltrated them and can’t be trusted, and then she takes shots at poor Shirley who’s in a goddamn wheelchair and it’s really gross to watch, it’s one of the worst parts of humanity and she tries to avoid having her device turned back on, but they finally subdue her. It’s some serious shit, gang.

They say that the spikes aren’t coming from outside, they’re in everyone’s head, except for Donna, and Melanie, who have spent significant time in the TARDIS. And for extra fun, two days ago a satellite went up that finally connected the entirety of the earth to the internet, and now, everyone has access to a screen. 

And of course, Donna is working something out about the spike they’ve found, saying that she spent six months teaching Rose how to play the recorder; she thinks it’s a tune. Melanie sings it out and it strikes with everyone, like they’ve known it for years. And then Shirley finds it, it’s not a tune, it’s the laugh from the dummy. The Doctor figures out that the image has been burnt into television itself, into all the screens everyone is attached to every minute of everyday.

As they’re getting the date of the exact transmission, 14 gives Kate permission to shoot the satellite down, even though it’ll start an international incident. He’s the president of the world, and I love that. Her relief is palpable.

He also has a little moment with Melanie, which is so sweet. I love that whenever he rolls up to someone he hasn’t seen in decades, he always mutters the kindest little “hello.” Just for them. His attention completely focused. It must feel like a sun shining directly on you. I literally have a collection of David Tennant saying “hello” in my mind, ugh it’s so something. 

During all of this, Kate is telling Donna she did well working out the spikes, and she offers her a job at UNIT once everything has settled. Pure Donna, she asks how much the salary is, and then counters with DOUBLE the amount and 5 weeks paid vacation which is immediately accepted. BAMF, BAMF, BAMF. Get what’s yours, baby girl.

So much going on. Okay, so they go back to 1925, and 14 is all about what they need to do but Donna wants to hear about Mel because he’s never once mentioned her. He never does, he never talks about them. Rose a bit, yes, but usually no. Not ever. And he reminds her he’s old as hell and he can’t just chat about everyone, but it’s more than that. She tells him he never stops moving, she says “You are staggering along. Maybe that's why your old face came back. You're wearing yourself out” and that’s the crux of the matter, friends. 14 is wonderful, we’re all in love with him, but he’s definitely bleeding out everything. All over the place. And it’s so sad to see him so run down. But, classic 10, he ignores her.

They find the toyshop of course, and the Doctor recognizes the Toymaker. Who immediately starts a game of catch with the Doctor, because he’s a fucking weirdo like that, and 14 looks incredibly determined and also freaked out but Donna puts a stop to it, and the Toymaker disappears. 

They follow him deeper into the shop and surprise! They find themselves in a never ending hallway full of doors, and each door just leads to another hallway. Which should be impossible, but we’re told that the Toymaker is only governed by the rules of play, so he can basically do whatever the eff he wants.

Donna gets the story out of him as they wander - the Doctor had once gone into another realm, where he played a game against the Toymaker and apparently won, but he said he made a terrible mistake. Poor kiddo is really raw all of a sudden, he says “I'm always so certain. I'm all sonic and TARDIS and Time Lord. Take that away... Take away the toys... what am I? What am I now?” and then he tells Donna, “I don’t know…if I can save your life this time.”

Scrawny little 14 all exposed and helpless and I told you, he’s bleeding all over the place, and she just tells him, “Well…maybe I’ll save you.”

THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS, and she’s definitely gonna save him, just not in the way he thinks. And it’s so good.

Speeding ahead, they keep wandering through the halls and then they get separated of course and Donna gets attacked by the dummy that was supposed to be the original dummy’s wife and his creepy babies but she beats them obviously, and the Doctor gets taunted by the Toymaker but they find each other eventually.

And then they’re pulled into a room with a little stage where the Toymaker puts on a puppet show about exactly what has happened to the Doctor’s companions since he traveled with Donna. And it’s so sad to listen to him try to justify everyone’s fate - Amy died of old age, but in a time and place she was never meant to. Clara was killed by a bird but technically saved in her last moments of life. Bill was turned into a cyberman, but her consciousness lived on. No happy endings, for the Doctor and his friends, not ever. 

 To stop the show, the Doctor challenges the Toymaker to a game. And Donna’s afraid the Toymaker will cheat, but it seems the rules of the game bind his entire existence: the Doctor will either win or lose. So they cut a deck, and the highest card wins. And it’s the Toymaker, with a king.

But the Doctor finds a loophole - he won the first game, the Toymaker one the second game, and that prompts another, the best of three. Which the Toymaker accepts, but he wants that game to be played back in the present. 

Meanwhile at UNIT headquarters they’re shooting down the new satellite, and the Doctor and Donna appear to try and figure out a way to force the Toymaker out of the universe they way he’d come, but it’s too late. 14 is explaining something and then “Spice Up Your Life” is playing, and I’m sorry but L O L at the entire dance scene with NPH that unfolds. It’s hilarious, and creepy, and it definitely goes on too long, but I’ll allow a little pageantry. He turns UNIT’s bullets into flower petals and it’s a little terrifying, how much power he possesses and that’s the point. And then as soon as he’s arrived, he disappears again. 

Just kidding though, the Toymaker is out on the platform where the beam they used to take down the satellite is still set up and ready to roll, and he’s got control of it. So everyone of course rushes out to try and stop him. 

The Doctor tries to talk him down, of course. He asks why he’s choosing to be so horrible when he can do so many good things, and the Toymaker reminds him he’s just a vastness that good and bad don’t apply to, only winning and losing. The Doctor tells him he’s a vastness that contains so much more, and then he suggests they take the game away from earth, that they can play across the cosmos. 

He says “we can be…celestial” - and I’m dying inside. Is anyone else wondering what Aziraphale’s reaction to that sentence would have been? So many little bits of Good Omens, it’s slightly painful. 

Also, I appreciate that the Doctor is always trying to turn enemies into his playmates. 10 did it with the Master, too. It makes sense, he’s always off with humans but why wouldn’t entities that are more in line with what he is, want to travel with him? They always say no. Because y’all are too obsessed with your own drama to recognize what a fucking opportunity that is. Idiots.

So yeah, that doesn’t work and the Toymaker declares that since he played the first two games with different doctors, he wants to play the final game with the next Doctor. AND HE SHOOTS 14 WITH THE GIANT FUCKING LASER. 

It’s agonizing. It’s terrible. And Donna and Mel rush to his side as he starts to regenerate, because they don’t want him to be alone. They tell him he’s not dying, and they don’t care who he is, because every version of him is fantastic. And that’s what he needed to hear the first time. Every time, really.

And then he says “It's time. Here we go again. Allons-y!” (squee!) but…nothing happens. So he asks them to pull, yank on his arms, and they’re like ‘um’ but they do and THEN:

Out pops 15. And I’m losing my fucking mind. 

Here’s the thing, gang. There is one sure fire way to make the new Doctor capture everyone’s heart, and that is apparently to let him interact with 14. Because everything that happens after this is incredible.

15 says “You're me. No, I'm me. I think I'm really, really me. Oh-ho-ho, I am completely me!” and he tells 14 to push, and they’re both like ‘will this work?’ and they’re laughing and they push against each other and they’re two separate entities and it’s amazing. 

14 obviously was all done up in his traditional suit (minus the coat) so now suddenly 15 is wearing the dress shirt, and the tie, and their charming little tightie whities, and the CONVERSES! And 14’s still got the pants, the undershirt, the vest, completely barefoot. I’m delighted and crying my eyes out. 

So apparently they’ve bi-generated, which is supposed to be a myth and 15 asks Mel what she thinks and she says “I think you’re beautiful” and 14 pipes up, “still beautiful?!” and it’s all so good but the Toymaker is exasperated and then both Doctor’s say “I challenge you to a game” but he doesn’t like that. He’d caused the bi-generation and he doesn’t want to play both of them but he can’t say no.

What follows is the highest stakes game of catch that has literally ever existed. 14 and 15 are ducking and bobbing and weaving and catching and it’s ridiculous but also so filled with tension; whoever drops the ball, loses. David Tennant is a 50-something year old spindly noodle and oh my god he’s just crushing the entire thing, I could watch this all day. 

But someone has to lose, and thank god, eventually it’s the Toymaker. They decide their prize is going to be banishing him from existence forever. He gets folded up into a little square of douchebag, shoved in a box, and left to rot in the deepest recesses of UNIT’s storage. 

And it’s wonderful! But 14 can’t help but think of all of the people that died. And here is where 15 worms into everyone’s heart for the rest of eternity: he reminds 14 that he can’t save everyone, and then he grabs him into a hug and he says “Come here. I've got you. Yeah? It's OK. I'm here” and he kisses 14’s forehead. 

It’s what the Doctor has always needed, but never got. A reminder from himself that what he does matters, that he’s good and he tries and it’s okay when things don’t go perfectly, but he does save people. He deserves acceptance from himself, and if he can’t give it in his own mind, he can get it from someone else who is literally him. It’s fucking beautiful.

They head back to the TARDIS and 14 shows 15 all the bells and whistles and 14 wonders how it’s going to work, the two of them? 15 makes him stop his anxious rambling, tells him “you're thin as a pin, love. You're running on fumes.” He keeps talking, about all of the things they’ve seen and done. The Pandorica, The Time War, losing River and Rose. The fact that Sarah Jane has died. 14 says, “I loved her” and 15 says “I loved her.” 

15 reminds him that they haven’t stopped, not for a second. But he’s fine, because 14 had fixed himself. He says “We’re doing rehab out of order.” And it’s true; 15 has taken in everything that Donna has been trying to get 14 to understand, he has the sweetness and the willingness to express his feelings that 14 finally learned, and now he’s putting his foot down, to himself. His old self. He’s telling 14 that he has to stop. 

But 14 doesn’t know how, and Donna tells him that he just has to exist, every single day, in and out. Over and over. And that’s the adventure. She says “I've worked out what happened. You changed your face... and then you found me. Do you know why?”

“To come home.”

If you didn’t lose it at that, you might need to examine your inner workings. It’s a punch to the gut. And it’s absolutely true. It’s the one thing the Doctor has never had, but now he can. And the way 14 asks “Do you mean…he flies off?” is so sad and small, and deflating, like he can’t imagine being pried away and made to stop and just be and exist. It’s terrifying for him. And he knows he can’t leave the TARDIS, it would hurt.

15 has an idea though, he thinks they might have a little bit of time, still being governed by a state of play, so he produces a sledge hammer and he hops out of the TARDIS, followed by 14 and Donna. 

He wields the hammer and he says “You get a prize, honey. And here is mine!” and he SWINGS against the TARDIS, and out pops another perfect little blue police box (and he runs a hand down the first one, saying “I’m sorry!”). Two TARDIS’s, two doctors. 

(I’m also swooning over 15’s use of endearments - love, honey - he’s gonna kill me.)

14 goes in to inspect the new TARDIS, he’s reverent almost, and it’s much the same, but it’s got a jukebox. He wanders back to his own TARDIS and 15 hops into the new one and powers her up and he’s definitely about to leave without a goodbye but 14 bounds back in with Donna to get what they’re owed. Which is hugs and a little sass. 15 says “off you pop, old man” and I love that, but they remind him he’s the older of the two now, so he says “Okay, kid. I love you. Get out!”

15 is full of the love the Doctor never gets to give freely, but he’s ready now, and I’m so excited to watch that unfold. It’s so perfect and beautiful that 14 is the one who gets to feel it first. Baby boy needs so much more, and he’s gonna get it.

And so, off they both go. 15 to his endless adventures, 14 to something even more scary.

The last scene is a dinner at Donna’s, wherein 14 is telling a ridiculous story about using his eyebrows to communicate (Crowley, Crowley, Crowley…) and it’s just banter and it’s so good. We find out that he’s taking Mel on little adventures in the TARDIS, even Rose a time or two. He says “Just can’t turn down my favorite niece” and oh, it’s so lovely. He says “That’s what you are. With my best friend, my brother-in-law, the evil stepmother, and mad auntie Mel.” 

The desperate wanderer, a man who has run for thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years in a multitude of faces, finally has a family. 

Donna tells him he doesn’t have to stay forever, and then she asks him if he misses it out there. And his face, oh y’all his face as he says “The funny thing is, I fought all those battles for all those years... and now I know what for. This. I've never been so happy in my life”, it’s EVERYTHING.

Never, not once, has the Doctor gotten this. Usually, things work out just enough that it barely soothes the pain of what was lost. Never has he won so fully, so completely. Donna restored, and the chance to finally relish what he’s been protecting for so long. And no one deserved it more than 10 and 14.

The Doctor doesn’t have to be all hard edges and fire and war and unrelenting motion. He can be soft and vulnerable and he can accept help and he can love. 

And I didn’t even realize I wanted to see that. Doctor Who is like letting yourself believe in a higher power, a little bit. Believing in a species that maybe isn’t beholden to all of the disgusting emotions we have to deal with, he’s strong when we can’t be. He’s strong all the time. But I don’t think I’ve ever connected as much to an arch as I did to this one. We can’t be strong all the time. No one can. 

Watching the Doctor stop, and be taken care of for once, I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Catharsis, on all sides. For everyone. I needed all of that way more than I’m ever willing to admit.

No matter what’s going on in the real world, at least now, somewhere out there 14 is hanging out at Donna’s house, telling silly stories and helping cook dinner and teaching Rose a bunch of science she should never get her hands on, and that’s satisfying in a way I can’t explain.

Basically, I’m so thankful for Doctor Who. And I can’t wait to see what happens next…

[entiish]

    𝚃𝚑𝚎  𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔  𝙿𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚜  𝙰𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚢                            . . .  𝙰𝚜𝚔𝚜 & 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚜

made, as best as possible, gender neutral, taken from ‘the dark pictures anthology: man of medan’ — an interactive survival-horror video game, set on a ship but i have altered it to be location-neutral as best i can.     others from the anthology found here.

“ you think i wanted to hurt anybody? i didn't get a choice in this, did i? ”

“ you know it's not polite to ask one about their money?”

“ not a sole survivor!  haha, you weren't trying to do that, were you? ”

“ you didn't fucking see that!? ... right. no. of course you didn't. ”

“ we can't just sit around. we need a plan.”

“ have mercy... no... listen to me, no, don't do this... ”

“ you're all in this together! this is a trap and you set us up! ”

“ what the hell was wrong with you back there? ”

“ to descend into the unknown alone is extremely brave, or extremely foolish. perhaps there is more to you than meets the eye. ”

“ this whole place is a floating deathtrap. ”

“ i mean it's - something is fucking with me. it’s fucking with me, man. it's just - it's just fucking with me. ”

“ anyway, look to the future, i say. ”

“ that! it-it w-was... didn't you see it? okay, so i’m seeing things, but you're not... ”

“ i’m the captain now! ”

“ stories of love and hate... greed and beauty... life... and death. stories such as this one. ”

“ alright! come out! show yourself! ”

“ this fuckin' place is cursed.”

“ but you shouldn't fear death. it is after all... inevitable. ”

“ there are always repercussions. ”

“ argh! no. no! i'm not hearing this. I'm not hearing this! ”

“ don’t fight it... it’ll only hurt more if you do. ”

“ you teeter on the edge of an abyss. ”

“ people drown in these waters and you have to respect their resting place. ”

“ i just keep going over it and over it... and it doesn't make any sense, y'know? it just... and i know what i saw...  i just don't believe in whatever it was i that i saw. ”

“ you’re responsible for what happens, you’re culpable. ”

“ i guess you could say i lived my greatest nightmare. ”

“ you can go fuck yourself, you piece of shit! ”

“ what the fuck is going on with this place? because i gotta be honest it feels like there's some, like... like, evil, like literal evil going on down there. ”

“uh... you are not always going to be there to protect me, big guy. i can handle this, trust me. ”

“ i saw [NAME], and it wasn't [NAME], it was... someone else. but they looked just like [NAME]. ”

“ let's just stay calm, and relatively sane about this, okay? ”

“ you know what i like to hear? nothing. that's right. nada. complete fucking silence. get it? ”

“ we'll have the opportunity to account for all the actions that you've taken... or whatever mess you've made. ”

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond!: Tails's Message

This takes place before this story's beginnings... in preparation for the demo of Sonic.EXE One More Time Repixeled going out.

INSPIRED BY: Alan's Monologue from Sonic.EXE The Art of Possibility

The strength of someone's mind is something that varies greatly from person to person. Some crumble at the slightest struggle, while others are unbreakable. Of course... HE never believed in the latter. He's certain that every Mobian and human has a breaking point, and so far, nothing's proved him wrong in his endeavours.

But, for the time being... maybe I'm something that serves to force him to question that. He's bent me, yes, in more ways than you could ever imagine. But he's yet to make me truly give up fighting, as scared of him as I am. I've yet to go back to the young hero I once was before I was dragged into this mess, but, even with everything he's put me through, I remain alive in this loop, and right now, I'm still sane.

That... doesn't mean I've managed to evade death, no. Death is never the end in this horrid domain of his, and it's never uncommon. It's just the end of his latest game. Just when you begin to fade out, suddenly you're awake somewhere new, fully restored to full health and the default life count. Then it's... back to square one.

I've lost count of how many times I've died at his hands, and even more so of how many ways. He's killed me in more ways than I ever could've imagined. One minute, I'll be drowning perpetually, being kept alive as the water continues to fill my lungs and the blood rushes to my brain... The next, I'll be getting torn clean in half with a lack of known precision, before he starts taking me apart... bit by individual excruciating bit. Sometimes, I'd be claimed by his spider state, either drained for blood, or being a painful host for the eggs, left to bleed out slowly... A-Another time... h-he just caved my head in with only his foot...

I'd never know what he'd come up with next, with the vast scope of his domain. All I could ever know is that it would never be quick, and it would never be easy. And the "death" that finally comes after isn't even a release. Not in any sense of the word. That's just when the next game would start.

Hide and seek, tag, foot races... Those ones sound simple, right? Easy, maybe even a little bit fun in the depression I've lived through in the past two months. Games like that are typically his favourite, but his idea of "fun" is... well, I'm sure you can imagine, but even so, I know for a fact that you don't fully comprehend - you can't even grasp just... what he is.

The closest thing to a name he has is "Outbreak Malware Threat", or "OMT" for short. Sometimes he likes to throw in the term "god", but I wouldn't be caught dead calling him that! ...or maybe, "caught dead" isn't the appropriate phrase around here. But... I'd never show that kind of reference, not to him!

Yes, I am afraid of him, but I know that as long as I keep a strong mind, he will keep me around for however many rounds he plans on. And as long as I'm around, there are chances upon chances escaping him, outsmarting him, maybe even killing him...

Things like that certainly feel impossible, but this place, his world... it embodies the very idea of possibility. Anything his twisted mind conjures up can and will happen, and in a place with endless possibilities, even ones as twisted as these will always carry a glimmer of hope somewhere, no matter how far away, how faint or how small. It is there!

But until then, I have to keep playing along. Through every game, every loss and every death. I may not have a choice in the fate that awaits me, but I do have a choice in how I approach it, and that is what will make all the difference. I mean, I've already survived for a whole three days with only my toolkit and whatever healthy food I could scavenge from the pre-horror side of his world, so I'm on a good streak, right?

OMT is a very strange concept on paper. As far as I know, he is some kind of sentient energy that's taken a liking to our world. So much so, that he's meshed his appearance and his world to it, but not without his own... "creative liberties". You could be in, say, Green Hill, with flowing blue water, beautiful flowers and the bright warm sun, wondering what could possibly go wrong.

But soon, that warmth would turn into a sense of pure dread. The plants and soil would grow gaping mouths, teeth and other appendages, as if they themselves were a living, breathing organism. The rivers would run red with blood and an alien substance, and the skies would blacken, HIS presence looming over you all the while.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. It sounds edgy, absurd, try-hard, and... you'd be right. But I guess that's just what he likes. It's his... sense of style. I know hearing me describe it doesn't sound all that scary, not in the slightest. But... when you're really there, getting strangled by the corpses of my last failures, jumping into that river to extinguish the flames of Angel Island, only to be greeted with that now too familiar metallic taste... I think it'll make you rethink things a little bit.

It is the most extreme and over-the-top example of a nightmare, and the absurdity truly is lost on you when you have to confront the reality of things. As you'd expect, his appearance would match the world that he's made. Shocking nobody, he looks like Sonic.

When I first got trapped here, he looked barely different, but with VERY stark differences. His eyes were black caverns with glowing red pupils on occasion, and his mouth was a gaping jaw twisted into a constant smile, and he sometimes also showed sharp yellow teeth in that mouth. But that was a whole two months back.

He's changed very visibly since then. His fur is a darker shade of blue, his shoes are now pitch-black with what looks like talons, and his tail is now double-tipped, for some twisted reason. And he learned how to shapeshift, with the Sonic form being the basis, but with no limit on what he could be. From what I witnessed Knuckles and Robotnik going through, he's also capable of becoming a snake or a goat-man. Is he... some kind of Satanic creature? I dunno.

And to top off all this madness, he creates these... vessels for his victims that he'll put their souls into. And these vessels, you guessed it, are of me and my friends. I'm the real Tails myself, though I've seen him put souls into bodies resembling me... especially any children unlucky enough to stumble across him.

Normally, I'd deem explaining the beginning of this mess a waste of time, due to it being unnecessary in the eyes of some. But I'm making an exception, because I want you to understand how dangerous OMT is. See, this place is connected to your world through one key thing; a fan-game he puts out on this "GameJolt" website, under a guy known as "Mr. Pixel". This game acts as a gateway he can drag your soul through, where he'll make you go through all that me and whoever else has come before and after me have experienced.

For me, personally, me and Sonic had an argument the day before it all went to hell. I could tell he was scared about losing me, though neither of us could predict what came next. Robotnik managed to catch OMT and planned to use him to create his empire... but OMT had other plans.

I was following Sonic one morning before I saw horribly disfigured Badniks fleeing for their lives, and just breaking one of them... the animals were all horribly mangled beyond anything I'd seen. And when I encountered HIM feasting on one of the poor critters... that's what got me trapped here.

I'd tell you to use this as a warning, but truth be told, I imagine he's smarter than to solely use the same trojan horse on one website over and over. He could use all sorts of disguises for his games, plenty not even under the guise of a horror game. And he can put on a very good act, too, considering there's plenty more like him out there. What I can't imagine him doing, however, is dropping the Sonic lookalike schtick. It's his thing, his obsession. It's the only thing he likes as much as playing his twisted games.

I don't know how you're hearing me right now. Whether it be through a recording, words on a screen or hidden in a titanic wall of binary code... that's if anybody hears me at all. I may not be able to tell you a definitive way of escaping him, nor can I give you any step-by-step guide to surviving if you decide to play along anyway.

Just... be careful and trust your instincts. If you feel something is wrong when playing the game, do not ignore your gut, or you'll wind up stuck here like me. Whoever you are, just don't mess it up like the others, okay? And I'd highly suggest you back out before you even get into things.

Because, spoiler alert; YOU CANNOT SURVIVE in his game! He teases you with the possibility, but will always get you killed off, no matter which way you go or how far you get. And after burning out his three to six target picks, some of which might actually include me... well, you're pretty much screwed if you don't quit out before then.

Yes, recounting and ultimately reliving my own mad encounters may be detrimental in some cases, but the key to finally breaking me is making me forget who I still am at the end of the day. Letting the days blur together completely is the first step in a slippery slope into madness.

But I've had enough of just waiting for a miracle to happen. Sonic wouldn't want this, would he? It's time for me to start acting and advancing further into his domain than he'd EVER allow me to. Perhaps there, I'll find the answer as to where he's keeping Sonic, and if I break him out so far before he stops me... that's the key to finally bringing my home and yours salvation.

I've got multiple supplies on hand to have a fighting chance. A medical kit, my arm cannon, stamina boosting... all of these will be essential to breaking the unfair rules of his game, cracking his patience, and getting me to where I need to be. I may be very far from where I'm supposed to be right now, but that means nothing once I get there.

Whenever I start doubting myself, I'll keep looking back at how far I've come. It'll help me stay strong, and it'll help me finally win fair and square against him! He's gonna regret ever stepping foot into my world. I'm ready to start being the hero Sonic desperately needs, considering I'm the only one who remembers everything I've experienced in contrast to the others getting their memories wiped each time. Hmph. We'll see if I remain his "favourite" victim once I wipe that grin off his ugly face.

I will save Mobius and find the way to our salvation...

No...

matter...

what!

"OMT" Tails

P.S.: I've adopted the version signifier out of spite for my tormentor, and it'll be what I use once this is all over to stand out from other versions of myself.

Happy Halloween, folks!

[atonalginger]

I worked really hard in therapy for several years to get to a place where anxiety and dread didn't consume me. Where I didn't doom scroll and obsess over little things. It was hard and I had hiccups but I was getting better, even as the pandemic flipped life upside down.

But 2024 has just been a year that keeps kicking me and my toolset just isn't able to combat it at the moment. Fry lost his fight with kidney disease back in Feb right before a stressful family visit. Nearly half a year of a nagging, painful health issue that is resolved yet not because reasons I won't get into. I'm managing it and it isn't driving me into a sobbing fit anymore and I'm not in constant pain. But it does flare up a little from time to time. Then there was the mess with husband's work that I don't think I got into here but it was trying in this house. And now we've had appears to be a minor pest problem that is being dealt with and is improving day to day but ... It's just another anxiety inducing problem.

I'm not even going to touch the news and what that does ...

And what's wild is this year hasn't been bad for me! I've made so many new friends in the past year and have weekly game nights that have honestly kept me fucking sane through all this and my husband was able to find a better job and we grew closer through that rough patch and my art and writing has improved...I've finished so many stories this year ...

But I can't see any of that most nights. Most nights the anxiety creeps in and reminds me of the chronic issues, the nagging problems, the foreboding dread...and I don't want to think about it so I have to find ways to zone out completely because none of my usual coping mechanisms (both good and bad) work.

I want to be able to let go again. I want to be able to breathe again. I want to actually enjoy the good changes happening in my fucking life. I made a choice to live my life damn it I want to present for it.

I know it will get better. These problems won't always be there. Things are steadily improving. I want my mind to see this truth.

[vaguely-concerned]

I binged through all of Dragon Age: Absolution today and honestly I really really liked it! I was allowing myself only some very cautious optimism after watching the twitch premiere of the first episode, but freed from the need for infodumps and setting up the characters the rest of the show actually rapidly gets better from there (some pacing issues here and there excepted but hey they were given 6 episodes, I think they did pretty well considering those constraints)! If like me you HUNGER for, you YEARN for, you CRAVE more Dragon Age right the fuck now, this is not at all a bad thing to help keep some of that hunger down while we wait for the next game, and has a few loveable new characters to get into and some great action animation to boot.

More idle thoughts/reactions under the cut!

first and foremost I love Roland and Lacklon so much haha, a surprisingly well paced romance considering it mainly happens in quick background-ish moments! I'm especially interested in Roland's backstory, since he's very chill and openminded for what seems to be a decently well-trained/educated Orlesian? Lacklon being like 'I want to hold his hand and suck his dick 😔 fml' every time Roland did something cool in battle was just *chef's kiss* too, it was kind of smart to have their fight scenes double as foreplay as well on a writing level since they're arguably the least plot-important characters overall (though they and Qwydion are definitely the heart of the story as far as I'm concerned)

I understand why Miriam clung to Hira so much since she just lost literally everything in her life, good or bad, moments before and that relationship was the only time she had tasted anything like real love since her brother died, but girl... girl when people show you who they are, believe them. marry Qwydion instead you deserve so much better (Hira gave me the Bad Vibes right away from how she didn't respect anything Miriam said or expressed and kept pushing in ways that made me really uncomfortable, so I won't say I was shocked or anything lol.) There is the (??deliberate??) mirror of Hira hugging Miriam from behind in the blood magic dream and Qwydion coming up behind her in very much the same way to rest her hand on her shoulder in the real world afterwards, so I have hope maybe?

can you imagine Dorian watching shitshows like this go down every other week all around Tevinter and tearing at his perfectly sculpted hair because Andraste's tits if you motherfuckers would stop acting stereotypically for FIVE MINUTES! could any of you go take a PISS without resorting to blood magic! Dorian's job is a shit job and he's probably been doing it for a while by the time of Dreadwolf so y'know. get my son a drink

speaking of Qwydion, I am so glad for further support for my theory that vashoth born away from the Qun are actually some of the most well-adjusted people in all of Thedas. they've dodged the Qun from birth by definition, they don't seem terribly interested in the Chantry or grand politics of any kind, they don't have a caste system hanging over them, they can step on anyone who tries to mess with them even if they don't have magic... truly the only sane people running around out here

so you're telling me the Inquisition screws Fairbanks over no matter what you do, b/c either he dies or he's forced into Orlesian politics. Oh buddy I'm sorry we should've just let you frolic around in the Emerald Graves on your own you didn't deserve this

Poor Tessa. she is probably better off without him in the long run but that's a rough week

I was so excited to see Kirkwall again, I saw the horrific chain statues and went 'OH HELLHOLE MORE LIKE HELLHOME'. it's so grim and awful I miss it so much lol

meredith, huh. so uh. hawke really has failed at everything, pretty much, then. even the few people they did manage to kill to protect everyone didn't stay dead. I'm just waiting for the dragon they killed in the Bone Pit to come back and ravage the city as well now, just to top it off. celestial punching bag of thedas hawke. babyyyyyyyyy if it helps I still love you the most and so does your collection of bi weirdos found family

rezaren wasn't even that good a mage, as far as we can tell, so you have to wonder what the FUCK dorian's ancestor was pulling to have created this thing that he could barely control with half a dragon's worth of blood (and what someone like Dorian, who helped crack time like an egg in his student days sort of just to see if he could, it seems, could do with it if they didn't have like scruples or other pesky things like that. everything we see about tevinter magisters makes me more impressed with how comparatively not fundamentally shitty Dorian has managed to turn out (no wonder Bull is kind of impressed with him for having actual integrity, if this is the competition he's up against). can you tell I miss him lol)

I found it genuniely interesting how much rezaren and hira are thematic mirrors to each other and mutually cannot see it, right down to treating miriam ultimately as an object. same self-centered idiot, different hairstyles. what a scathing indictment of Tevinter high society that even Hira, who's family was notoriously progressive and trying to enact change, still treats people exactly the same way as the other magisters when push comes to shove.

thank u to Lacklon for pessimistic cynical bastard representation, he is right that that dragon is going to ravage the countryside and someone on the crew has to keep clear eyes for that sort of thing even when it's a downer

[chowpatty-ka-icebear]

⚖️ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬/क्षुधाक्रीडा ⚖️

Everyone is out there playin games with eachother, No one wants good for one another (for apparent reasons). Coz if you'll be out here frowning, it's higher probability that people will walk past you... In today's world Nobody wants a Sad Clown who mourns and whines every now and then... Right... They want a brave/dominant guy who doesn't show pain and he's muscular and smart and dashing and he'll have Big D and Ms... Stacks of money dripping Outta his pocket and Jawline soo sharp that it can cut right through someone's skin...

A friend of mine suggested me "The Stoics Methodology" to be a real/alpha male in this skin thriving society... Which only runs behind your money and jumps on your body like a bunny...

A competition for Alpha Male is real... Nobody cares about your calmness and gentlemen manners asshole... Fckk the manners fr... Your Compassion and warm nature won't be respected here... This is a shithole... And yeah you can't dive in a shithole with clean clothes that's for sure...

You gotta have a good physique, endurance, mobility, stability to enter such places right... That's why to get them all you have to be a strong animal son... No one wants to hear how much pain you're in, No one wants to hear how much sins you've done, No one wants to hear how guilty/sad you're... No one cares about your whinning and crying...

I've seen the world my son, And believe me in this world Nobody cares about who you are, where you've came from, where are you goin... This world wouldn't even care if you'll be dead the other day... It only stops when you strikes on it's roots, It's Moneyy, It's Status, It's Power... That's all that matters in this Shithole... With Money the Status will come and With Power the status will rise even more...

The more status you'll acquire the more money and power you'll gain... No one will question your scars if you'll fall in the Septic Tank (An Okeyishh Lifestyle)... But everyone will respect your scars when you'll fall in a Money Pit because it's what the hunger people have... They're aren't hungry for your manners or love or care or compassion... They have that sheit plenty on their hands too... They're hungry for your Money, Your Status, Your Power... That what keeps their spit dropping from their tongue all day long...

Be like a mad man always... It's worth being a man who's sane enough to understand the mess, because that type of man dies every other day in this Shithole (for good reasons)

I was raised by a single mother... But even she didn't knew in what shithole she raised me into... I'm sorry maa but this Shithole doesn't have respect for your morals or teachings, I'm sorry maa but this Shithole doesn't have respect for your Compassion and Feelings, I'm sorry maa but this Shithole doesn't have respect for your Scars and Bleedings...

Those good morals would've ended the Shithole long ago but now it's too late for them to come in handy... Nowadays they're of no good use... Only the animosity and hunger can keep you alive in this pantry of banter of life...

Only quote which stays and runs here is "Either Eat the Whole Crowd, Or be a part of my feast" - SubbRee

[schizodelicpunk]

Oh! Someone else who's psychotic and a drug user! We're schizophrenic and have been interested in psychedelics, can we hear about your experience doing them while schizospec? Any advice in relation to being schizospec?

!!! Invitation to infodump about drug hyperfixation !!!

So. I've been using psychs for probably around 6 months, so I'm not super experienced, but here's what I've got so far

The main thing I've noticed with psychs is that they affect me a lot more than sane people. The first time I did mushrooms, I had a good sized dosage but nothing crazy, I got the most insane visuals. Melting faces, colors everywhere, auras, etc. This can be really fucking cool and beautiful, but it also makes a bad trip WAY worse, it will send you into full blown psychosis. I've had three drug-induced psychotic episodes, which I will describe here.

The first, and by far worst, episode I ever had was off of just 2 tabs of acid. The other people around me who were on 2 tabs experienced nothing like it. Visuals started only like 5-10 minutes after I took it, which is... Not Normal. It normally takes 30. This freaked me out and was probably the reason my trip went bad. I didn't tell my tripsitter because I thought I had messed it up by accidentally swallowing the tab instead of letting it dissolve (I know now that swallowing it actually makes it LESS potent, I don't want to imagine what would've happened if I hadn't swallowed the tab). By the time it hit the other people in my group, my visuals were so intense I could barely see in front of me. I'm missing a lot of memory from that night, but I do remember being very disoriented and scared. When I entered the full psychotic event it was a lot of looping and metaphors for my childhood. The next phase of the trip revolved around the concept of intensity (presumably because I was overstimulated). I kept waking up into new realities in the most intense moment of my life in that reality. I watched my dog die repeatedly and people I cared about get deeply hurt. It's actually really hard to talk about and I had to go take a nicotine break while writing this lol. The most intense and terrifying and deeply traumatizing part of the episode was watching the world end. I eventually woke up into this other dimension with alternate versions of the people I knew in this life. They welcomed me back, explained as quickly as they could that this was the end. This was the place I woke up after every most intense moment of my life and that the world was now going to end. I remember a feeling of "oh my God, they're real. I didn't dream them up." And I lay there, leaning against the gorey corpse of my dog, and watched the sun explode and atomize us all. I felt the pain of my body being destroyed. It's the most pain I've ever felt in my life. Even such a minimal and vague description of the event is enough to make me feel like I'm there again and is giving me creepy auditory hallucinations. This is not an attempt to scare you away from psychedelics, but a warning that you have to be EXTREMELY careful with them if you are prone to psychotic symptoms. The tips I'd give based on this event:

Up your dosages VERY slowly

Keep calm when something unexpected happens

Talk to your tripsitter, I don't care how embarrassed you are, if I had caught this earlier I would not have been through such a traumatizing event

The second psychotic event was a small dose of mushrooms, but I'd also had weed right before I took them. I was also currently in possession of a small amount of meth that I was keeping from my at the time partner. This was stressing me out massively and I had also just realized that I was probably developing schizophrenia, another stressor. The combination of weed and stress was probably the reason this trip went so bad. This trip was a lot less visceral and was more characterized by paranoia. I was also convinced my life was some sort of game and the two paths were correlated to my partner at the time and my now girlfriend. I experienced more schizophrenic symptoms like word salad and cognitive issues. I also kept hearing words wrong. One of the people I was with said something about me being schizophrenic and I heard "satanic".

Notes:

Don't mix weed and psychedelics

Do not take psychs when you are stressed

The final event was off of RSO. Just weed. That freaked me out cuz I'd never experienced psychotic symptoms from weed, and I'd had RSO in the same dosage two other times and never had any psychotic or psychedelic effects. I had some RSO and then went to take a nap with my girlfriend. When I woke up I had visual distortions that looked similar to the ones that I had in my first psychotic event. This triggered me and made me freak out. I couldn't move or speak and just sat there in my girlfriend's arms, trembling. My partner (same one from previous event) did not notice and was lightheartedly tormenting me, he shut my four cats and my dog in the tent with me. Every time one of the animals passed my eyes it looked dead. When they finally realized something was wrong they helped me out of the tent and set me up on the bench. I tried to use nicotine and alcohol to make the trip die down but it didn't work. As it progressed I ended up looping. I would see too many patterns between realities and it would reveal more and more realities until I was seeing everything at once. Since a human brain can't process everything at once it looked like this massive spiral of everything and nothing all at once and there was this terrifying feeling that I'd get lost in it and never come back. When my partner tried to snap me out of it, the way he frantically called my name reminded me too much of how I woke up into the world ending reality and freaked me out and I would spiral again. It just kept looping until the RSO wore off.

Notes:

Every time you experience a psychotic event, it gets easier for it to happen again

Being scared makes it worse

Bad stuff out of the way, I want to point out that it's only gone bad for me 3 times and I have tripped probably 20-30 times. Most trips are very lovely and beautiful. I once had a mushroom trip that just brought me so much inner peace I couldn't be mad at anyone for anything. I was struck with the realization that every single person in the world is doing their best. No one is going through life trying to do bad things, they're all just trying to manage their own shit. And the city lights on acid are the most beautiful, sparkly thing I have ever seen. If you want to do psychedelics I do wholeheartedly recommend them, but you do have to be VERY careful if you are psychotic. Sorry if this was more negative than you& were expecting, but I think it's important to know the risks involved. Psychedelics are the cause of some of the best things in my life, but they also caused the very worst thing I have ever experienced.

[unsafecoma]

YAYAYYA i wanted to do madamemiz's ask game about the DCA because i llike them 🫶 UNDER THE CUT !! ! !! ! !!!

how did you get here?

my hyperfix on the dca started earrrly january this year because i played hw2 and was promptly swept off my feet and ive been sick over them since. id played it before , but started playing again bc i wanted too 100% the game! oh if only id known !!

2. why these characters in particular? what was the hook for you?

originally it was Sun that hooked me onto both of them. hes just so silly!! and such a prissy bitch!! and i love it!! plus i love the idea of 2 separate ids in one body, thats always fun to mess with 😋

3. how long have you been here?

since early january of this year!! though, im not SUPER active in the fandom itself. i just silently enjoy fanart/fics , and VERY RARELY draw and post on my art bog. im not a big participator in fandom itself, im perfectly comfy just watching.

4. have you actually played fnaf sb?

NO. and i do not plan to. the game is too buggy to pay 40 bucks for it, plus i really dont wanna give scott anymore money (fuck you scott cawthon i hate you scott cawthon a million plagues upon you and your life scott cawthon) so ill pass. im perfectly fine with just watching videos.

5. if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed?

THIS POST!! i love vocaloid, and i love the dca, and whats better than combining the two? i was especially proud of myself bc these were animations, which is something i NEEEVERRR to, so id say i was pretty damn happy with these!!

6. what's your favorite sort of art or fic? what genre/flavor/style?

ive still yet to actually read any fics abt the dca (im in the process of reading one about djmm rn <3 its so good i love it so much <333) but im a sucker for angst w/a happy end (the heart wants what the heart wants, and who am i to deny ?)

7. what's your favorite au?

i like aquatic aus for the dca!!!!! i love seeing all the different designs ppl give them ... i also rlly like cowboy/western aus too :)

8. do you have any ocs, or have any ocs you're fond of?

not yet, but ive absolutely thought about it!! maybe one day ... (for now though, im happy with my silly little technician s/i hehe)

9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I LOVE THEM I THINK THEYRE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY i dont really see them as scary from looks alone tbh, like MAYBE moon but it'd have to be rlly dark so it was just his glowing eyes visible. other than that they are just silly billys cutie patooties to me. id pinch their cheeks if i could (i mean i know u can but. ykwim)

10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had?

im kept sane by both my own brain's constant thoughts abt these robots, and also the art and writing made by other fans!! i 🫶 images.

11. be honest: if you had to pick only one, sun or moon?

:( i GUESS sun, if i HAD to choose, only bc Moon's the one with the virus. it feels so wrong to separate them. you wound me.

12. thoughts on eclipse?

I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! i hc that eclipse isnt one whole robot, but its a state of being where sun and moon are both comfortably, equally in control of the body. so like ... in a WAY they could seem blended into one whole ai, but theyre both still in there, and have moments of one overtaking the other, while still as "eclipse".

13. thoughts on pre-glitch sun?

I feel like pre glitch Sun was juuust starting to get a bit overworked and burnt out, like right before the virus (and afterwards, it jsut got worse and worse). i think the DCA are genuinely good at taking care of kids, they just slip up often and arent absolutely perfect at it (unlike how they would be, if they were actually made to be caretakers and not theater animatronics). sometimes Sun is too loud, having to constantly remind himself to lower his voice when around more meek kids in the daycare.

he definitely has his moments where he needs to correct himself and remember that he is taking care of young kids, but all in all, i feel like Sun was pretty good at taking care of the kids (much better than he was when he was first moved to the daycare, since i can imagine he was VERY, VERY BITTER about being moved from the theater, but its not like being a theater animatronic was synonymous with despising children, so he wouldn't HATE them or anything yk ??)

14. thoughts on pre-glitch moon?

YKNOW I WONDER does moons voice sound like that bc of the virus, or is that just his voice ? nonetheless, i feel like Moon was good with his job, and maybe a bit better than Sun, only bc i feel like handling naptime would come with less struggles than daytime activities.

Moon was probably so much more gentle, less hunched over and 'scary-looking' when he moved, and rather than punishing kids for not sleeping he just ... actually helped them sleep. yknow ? whether its holding and rocking some of the younger kids to help them sleep better, or maybe one of the kids has something on their mind that wont let them sleep, i feel like Moon was actually really good at his job.

im firm on believing the DCA is actually good at taking care of kids due to what cassie says about the AR sun/moon plushies!! theyre good at their job!!! to a degree LOLLLL

15. do you interpret sun and moon as two sides of the same person, or truly two separate beings in one body? does it matter?

i interpret them as two separate beings in one body!! i like this interpretation, it feels more fun to work with and is oddly cathartic? emotional? interesting? theres just so much emotion that comes with sharing a body with an entire other identity, knowing that you and them are tightly knit together, whether you want to be or not, because no matter what, you have them, and they have you, and you're stuck with one another. and yes, you and them are different, but you bleed into one another at some parts, at some angles the yellow and blue smudge, and sometimes you struggle to see where 'you' starts, and 'they' begin.

i love love love thinking about how they experience sharing a body with one another, how they maneuver the world and their thoughts. ITS SO FUN!!! THEY MAKE ME SICK.

16. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of?

WAITER!!! WAITER!! MORE PRISSY BITCH SUN PLEASE!!! ill literally never ever get enough of it.

17. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see less of?

this is ENTIRELY just me, but seeing the dca act all suave and sexy feels mischaracterizing. this tweet literally captures how i feel perfectly

like OB VI OUS LY have fun and do what ur little heart desires, never ever am i gonna bash someone for DOING THAT, but whenever i see them drawn sexily and with abs or anything like that it just makes me wonder if we have the same character in mind. you dont get them like i do. we are playing with our touys in different corners.

18. anything you're looking forward to?

THE MOON NIGHTLIGHT. i have the sun one already and i NEED the moon one so he isnt alone :( i hope they fix up the coloring on the moon one, bc the dark bit looks so weird and messy (im assuming it only looks like that since it was the first look at him, but still!!! i think they should just make him all white, and not make the NIGHT LIGHT dark in some areas, lol???)

19. do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl?

this is one of those rare times where i DO think i would get along with them, or at least Sun!! i feel like id definitely be super duper anxious first meeting them, like the enthusiasm levels are a bit jarring, but i really do feel like i could get along with Sun (and maybe Moon ... if this is pre-virus, then more likely, but if its while Moon has the virus .. .. . . . . .. .. .. .. mauybe.)

20. free space! talk about whatever's on your mind!

if i think about the dca and their room and state of neglect for too long i get sick. i get insane and curl into a little ball like a roly poly. they make me so sick. i hate them i need to bite them.

also genderfunny aroace dca forever and ever. ok? 🫶

[asoulofatlantis]

I mean... in a sense it is sad, isn't it? His mother dead has left him wishing for a place were he can see her again, when he arrived here, it traumatized him even more and he was only able to keep going by telling himself he was somewhere, where is mother also was and that she would come and save him. I guess his mental state was too broken already, when they arrived here, to comprehend what was going on, so little by little, it broke completely until there was no saving him. I do feel sorry for him. But... it is really better for him if he goes into the fog, because at this point, there is really no saving him. And I honestly wonder if a true ending-route could save him.

Isn't that what kidnapped the little girl in the beginning of the game? But even tho Miyuki also seemed somewhat broken... she is still alive. Right? I mean... I am not wrong, right? ^^'

And the way it took him was terrifying! He was grabbed by all those hands and that blood spilled on the screen and he was screaming in terror and AHHHH! Poor boy. All he wanted was to see his mother again. Now don't get me wrong. I am still kinda glad he is gone. But just because he was a nuisance for me in this game, its not like he really deserved to die. Also... I would have wished him a quick and painless death. I guess Haru should not have saved him. That might have been the quicker way to die.

Ah... I guess without a partner he would likely vanish.... poor thing, was never truly happy in his life or loved by his partner.

Also... on a much more egoistic note: WHAT DID I EVEN TRAIN THIS THING FOR?! So many wasted Experience-Points!

I feel like hugging all the Digimon Adventure Kids for staying sane though this whole ordeal. Because watching that Anime as a kid, seeing was only this shipping mess did to me... I don't even want to know how much it had broke me if one of them had died like this.

In any case, Ryos death can appearantly be prevented in NG+. Tho I have no idea how we should prevent him from turning insane. AND IF you manage to keep Ryo alive, that will also prevent Shinjis death. So... yeah... There is more but... lets just continue for now.

I need to be more careful here. Wrathful can never be strongest or second strongest or I have to go the hard route...

Oh! That must be Mr.Mastermind.

OR not XD

Are you kidding me? I am still champion-level. I have yet to reach ultra-level. Mega is like... mega far away at this point.

I just dopped my spoon in shock. But then again... its Matts Digimon after all...

There will be something oddly satisfying in beating Garurumon XD

The ironie here... XD I mean of all the Digimon to chose for that role, they take this one. The crest of Friendship is not shining strongly these days, huh? (Sorry, if you don't know me, you do not even get the unreasonable grudge I am holding here ^^')

Look what I have! That makes 4 of them!

If you think about it. The people dying in the first part of the game were all the ones who didn't accept their Digimon. They also had no special "talk" command in battle. Should have tipped me off somehow, that it would be no use to train their Digimon.

It seems like dead people vanish from this picture... scary.

Anyway. Time for a small break.

[lightpost]

Hey love of my life. I miss you. The birth mother wants me dead and her husband doesn't care if I get raped shot or killed so I need you now more than ever. Please come get me and save my life. Rescue me and give me a hug that I know I will feel safe in. You are my only help in times of trouble please help me. You are the only anorch I got to keep me sane in this messed up place. I have no family and barely any friends since the birth mother has said some awful things to them. when my cousin called me telling me your mom just got done talking to my dad saying I'm a awful person and she doesn't want them around me yet she's the one that never checked on them or feed them while they were here I took them out shopping I feed them I made sure they had more than their phones and video games. Please come back into my life so I can hear your voice. I need you. I really need you. I need protection from her wicked ways I know she's want me dead so please me my shield. I want to run into your arms and never let you go. I need to hear your voice. Please find me. I'm in so much need of you and your voice right now.

[hard-core-super-star]

no because literally, in a single ask there are many different topics and the answers just get longer. I imagine you opening your inbox and seeing some aks that look more like the digital bible itself😶

I'm telling you! I'm behaving now. I changed.

I'll wait, and I already have my doubts about something but I don't know if it's a reference. the 119% thing.

totally, just like they did when they guarded at all costs that Kate would be played by hailee. It would be really funny if the Nightwing phase hadn't just been a phase.... unless...👀 I also don't know how well-known this mafia game is, but I've literally never heard of it until now. you're good at FIFA? for further scientific research. i- i never played GTA, my mom was ok with me playing mortal kombat and seeing the most graphic and merciless deaths, but not with me stealing cars and running away from the police 😔

okay, if I go watch it for the gay shit and I come out of it sad I'll blame you and you'll pay for my therapy. If she's supposed to be an irredeemable villain then she did something really fucked up, right? because I'm kind of more of a fan of villains..... to a certain point... um yeahh..of course

I'm literally eating myself up because I want to know what this cliffhanger is, I mean, the show was cancelled... knowing this isn't going to ruin my experience, is it?

queerbait, queerbait is everywhere- oh, the denial, it's okay, thinking like this can keep you sane, but it's between ava and sara? wait, I got lost hwjakksskskk you defend flash until you possibly can't anymore, but only watch for caitlin? how does it work? RIGHT? It took me a while to like caitlin exactly for that reason. and don't judge me, but it got tired to a point where I wasn't even rooting for barry and iris to get together anymore. they almost made my hair gray for a while, but I recovered.

now I understand why there's SO MUCH supercorp fics, these people are drooling and surviving on crumbs- think with care <3 hdjskjsk

– 🌟

i’m happily surprised and impressed that we've managed to talk about so many things at the same time and, despite the slight confusion sometimes, we still have MORE to say. it's not often i find someone so willing to read my paragraph-long responses and then RESPOND with their own paragraphs. [and needless to say, i absolutely love reading your responses, even if they're long]

mhmm, we’ll see about that.

it technically is a reference but i don't know if you're thinking what i’m thinking. and if you're not one of us is going to end up looking like an an idiot 😶 [it’s me, btw]

i mean, he's technically still my favorite superhero so i guess the phase still isn't over. i’m just too gay to obsess over a man the way i obsess over kate. i don't think it's that well known but i love it. idk what kind of research you're doing that requires this knowledge but yeah, i’m pretty good at FIFA. not like super amazing or anything but i’ve played it all my life so i think i’ve developed some skills. funnily enough, my mom was the opposite way. mortal kombat was too violent but planning heists and stealing cars was fine. [but not until i was like…10 or something]

babe, i hate to break it to you, but i can't even pay for my own therapy so you're on your own. stop asking questions because i WILL write an essay on her. basically, she does do fucked up shit BUT she's also heavily, HEAVILY, traumatized. i can't get into it without giving out too many spoilers but as the show goes on, we learn she's genuinely just a heavily messed up person and NOT a Joker type of villain who causes pain for the sake of it. [she's also not a sociopath, no matter how many times the characters say she is smh. she's also queer-coded af so there's that]

it's probably my fault for bringing it up everyday lmao. it doesn't ruin anything at all, it's just frustrating. they do finish the plot of season 7 nicely so that's why i just ignore the cliffhanger. it was supposed to tease season 8 but then season 8 never happened. the thing that pisses me off is that the CW didn't bother to tell the writers or the producers or the ACTORS that they wouldn't be getting another season.

sorry, i phrased that weird because it's technically a spoiler. the queer-bait is between zari and a new character hence why i didn't give many details in case you decide to watch the show again. sara and ava aren’t queer-bait at all, they're just queer 👍 it doesn't work very well but like the flash still has some really good things in between all the shitty writing. [that's another reason to watch batwoman, btw, their writers are out of this world] plus, like i said, caitlin snow was part of my gay awakening so it's not like i could just ditch the show even while it was going downhill. i don't judge you at all, i hated their relationship in the last few seasons. idk how they did it but they made me dislike barry at some point which is a crime because he's my boy!!!

akdkkdkskk that's a perfect way to put it, no further comment is necessary. i’m definitely not thinking about it 😶

[cherokeegal1975]

Okay, so I cheated a lot as far as the drawing. But, I sometimes have difficulties drawing what's in my head, so getting references helps a lot. This image just showed up in my head and I was lucky to get all the help I needed to put it together.

Originally just a random picture that showed up in my mind with no meaning, my imagination got to work and The Grey is a judge of truth and is very aware of the fact there are few if any strict black and whites. There are shades of grey and at least two sides to every story.

I think she'd make a good board game character. Something involving dice and cards like D&D. The design of the drawing looks like a card to me anyway. It wasn't intentional, but I'm going with it.

I'm hoping I can actually finish it, because there are people in my life that don't care if I have any time for myself. Drawing is not just fun, but a need. I need it to keep me sane in this shitty life of mine. It's not the worst that can happen to anyone, but I hate it. I hate it with a passion and wish dearly that I could fix it.

Anyway, I'll post the finished drawing here and other places online. If you want to put this protagonist character into a game, go ahead, just ask me first and give me credit for the design. I'd be surprised if any will use her, because everyone ignores my offers to share my works and photos. But if you do, please wait until the finished work is posted! This thing is a mess and I'm the only one who has any idea of the final design details...which won't be all black, white and shades of grey. There'll be some splashes of color and that frame is going to be in solid gold relief. That mask will remain as is, but part of the hood will be covering it. Skin tones for exposed areas, I'm thinking brown, like Mexican or Native American. Black hair. The robe will be grey. The flame on the right will be a black light color and the one on the right a white flame...or a blueish one closely resembling the one already referenced here. The wing in the white field will be black and the wing in the black field will be white. There's a half gold and half silver halo. I can see that clearly in my mind with no trouble. The one I got sketched there is too thin and there's some simple line designs I want to put on the halo. I can draw that with no references myself.

I can draw with only visual reference to look at or just images in my mind and do it totally freehand just fine. It's just easier this way. I do draw things freehand most of the time...half of the time lately. But, I have made a mental note to push myself into doing more purely freehand artwork so I can continue to improve in every way I can in my drawing.

(I often look though my posts to proof them and frequently wince. I see my grammar. Well, I was in a hurry and I'm too lazy at the moment to fix it now. Shit, I can write volumes without meaning too. Oh well.)

[avada-imagines]

Hated Love

Cedric Diggory x Slytherin Reader Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Enemies to lovers Cedric Diggory fanfic. A/N: First fanfiction in over 5 years; I hope you enjoy x

It was a cloudy afternoon. Black cloaks glided as the wind carefully pushed the students' robes just slightly behind them. Sounds of laughter and footsteps echoed the dark-colored halls of Hogwarts as students roamed around going from class to class.

On the other hand, I was sitting by a window enjoying the deafening silence of people watching while journaling my thoughts on a piece of parchment paper. Life has been hectic lately as quidditch practice has started. My time is mainly spent studying or in practice. I barely had time for myself, so I started journaling to keep myself as sane as possible.

“y/n! Are you coming to practice today?” My friend Draco Malfoy yelled while walking toward me. “Oh, yeah, I am, just finishing something, and I’ll be there,” I said nonchalantly as I would do anything than go to practice right now. Sometimes I feel like I cannot catch a break. That my life will always be about my studies and quidditch. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way, but sometimes I feel like I’m burning myself out.

Either way, I was not excited about practice. I knew I could not miss it, we have a huge game against Hufflepuff in a few days, and I am determined to score for Slytherin. I gathered my belongings and headed to the quidditch field with Draco. I sometimes wonder why I am friends with this bloke, we are literal opposites, but we’ve been friends since our first year.

I finally reach the girls' locker rooms and quickly change into my quidditch uniform. I am a chaser which allows me to release any anger, stress, and anxiety I have while throwing the quaffle into one of the hoops. I complain a lot about playing quidditch, but deep down, it probably benefits me more than I think despite getting bruises all over my body and constant injuries. – After quidditch practice, I slowly walk the now empty halls of Hogwarts. I can barely keep my eyes open as my body is sore from the tasking practice I just had. As I walked closer to the Slytherin common room, I noticed a tall, lanky figure ahead of me.

'Wait, I know that figure anywhere,’ I thought. It was my enemy, my nemesis, Cedric Diggory.

I don’t know why but that man just annoys me. I can’t tell if it’s his demeanor, voice, or his overall presence. ‘Fuck,’ I muttered as I slowly approached him. ‘Wonder what he has to say today.’ I thought in my head.

“Well don’t you look beautiful today, y/n,” Cedric said in the most sarcastic and snarky way. I would beat this guy up if I wasn't so tired, but I have literally no energy. “Don’t you have shit to do, or are you here to frustrate me, as usual?” I said with full attitude.

“Hmm, let me think. Oh wait, I can tell you’re just coming from practice. Gonna beat me this time, baby?” Cedric said while getting closer to me, taking small steps towards me as he talked.

“We all know you won out of pure luck so don’t brag. Okay, babe?” I said while inching my face to his. I could smell a hint of mint and cologne, which shocked me a bit.

I don’t want to admit that I enjoyed his scent because nothing about him will ever be attractive. I guess this one time, he smelled a little too good.

“Oh and just for the record, I will beat your ass Diggory. This game is mine, got it?” I said with the last ounce of sassiness I had left. “Whatever you say, my love. May the best person win.” Cedric said with a mocking chuckle. God, that guy will forever piss me off.

Finally, I left Cedric’s gaze and continued walking to the Slytherin common room. I could not wait to wash off and go to bed. – Today is game day. Slytherin vs. Hufflepuff. I woke up this morning feeling nervous, excited, anxious and stressed. So many feelings just for one morning. However, this is an important day. I need to redeem myself and lead Slytherin to victory. Mainly because I need to show Cedric to never mess with me again.

I got up. My feet slowly touched the cold, dark hardwood floors in the Slytherin dormitories. I quickly got ready. Putting on my quidditch uniform and brushing my long hair into a comfortable ponytail. I put on a little bit of mascara just to mask the fact I haven’t slept longer than 5-6 hours a night.

I rushed out of the common room as fast as possible to get breakfast at the Great Hall. While I was walking, I noticed someone approaching me from behind. I couldn’t determine who it was, so I started walking faster. My feet were moving more quickly than my body, and I tripped. Before I could hit the ground, I felt strong hands catch my body.

In shock, I slowly turned to see who had caught me. To my surprise, it was Cedric Diggory. My eyes were wide, and my mind was consumed with confusion. Him, out of all people, had to be the one to save me from my own clumsiness. “Be careful, y/n. Don’t you have a game to play?” Cedric said with a cheeky smile. I felt my face turn a bit red. Shit, I hope my cheeks aren’t noticeable. I can’t let Cedric know how embarrassed and flustered I am. “Were you following me?” That was the only thing I could say. “No, not on purpose. I just wanted to wish you good luck. Didn’t mean to scare you like that. Anyway, I’ll see you on the pitch.” Cedric said while helping me to my feet, slowly releasing his hands off my body.

I couldn’t say anything. I just looked at Cedric while he walked off. Our eyes were still locked on one another until he was too far. ‘What the fuck was that?’ I muttered lightly, trying to collect my composure. – “y/l/n scored 10 points for Slytherin!” Lee Jordan announced into the microphone. Cheers and clapping consumed the field as Slytherin was ahead 70-50 against Hufflepuff. Slytherin flags were all over the Slytherin side of the Quidditch stand. The Hufflepuff side was particularly quiet, more than usual, but they still got some pride going on.

My eyes were on the target, tunnel vision. I had to win for Slytherin. When waiting for the quaffle to be in reach, I would sometimes catch Cedric’s eyes. As if our eyes always meet at any chance we can get. To be fair, Cedric does have some enchanting brown/grey eyes. ‘No, I can’t think about this right now - I have a game to win,’ I quickly thought. Snapping myself back to reality.

Just within seconds, I noticed the quaffle was coming toward me. I charged on my broomstick to catch it. My arm grabbed the quaffle and flew to my opponent's nearest hoop. Within a flash, I threw the quaffle and scored another goal. “y/l/n scored another 10 points for Slytherin! At this rate y/n might secure a spot as captain next year!” Lee Jordan yelled. I’ve always been told I could be Slytherin's captain, but honestly, I have no interest. I have a love-hate relationship with Quidditch. It would be best if someone who really wants it should be captain.

I took a second to acknowledge my view. The crowd cheered with utter excitement, and celebratory yelling filled the pitch. You can hear the Slytherin flags moving from the wind and louder cheers from the people in the tall stands. I enjoy looking at my accomplishments. Moments like this make me feel grateful and proud of myself.

But before I could get back into the zone, a bludger came speeding toward me, which knocked and broke my broomstick, leading me to fall about 20 feet to the ground. As soon as my body hit the field, I was knocked out. – 1 week later My body felt fragile, weak, and in so much agonizing pain. My eyes were slowly opening, and my vision was blurred. My head was aching, almost like a migraine. I could feel bruises all over my upper body. Through my blurred vision, I noticed that my left arm and leg were in a cast.

It took a few minutes, but I was able to fully open my eyes using all of the strength I had. I was quickly aware of my surroundings. I’m in the hospital wing. I looked slightly down and saw how broken I was. Tears started filling my eyes and were quickly falling down my pale face. ‘What happened to me?’ I quietly asked myself while quivering. My voice was softly raspy as if it wasn’t used for a while.

“You took a hit from a bludger, I’ve always hated those things.” I heard a familiar voice say while approaching me. I slowly turned my head to meet the person who was speaking. My teary eyes widened when I saw it was Cedric. “C-Cedric…” I couldn’t say much before I started crying more. My head fell into my right hand, trying to cover my face from him.

I was too consumed with sadness that I didn’t fully acknowledge Cedric moving next to me. My head fell onto his chest when I felt his body brush over my side. I started to cry more while feeling his warmth against my cold and delicate figure.

While quietly sobbing in his chest, I felt his strong hands softly moving up and down my back. One of his hands circled my head, pushing it closer to his chest.

I couldn’t talk. I just fell into Cedric’s touch. As time passed, I could feel my eyes become heavier and heavier. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep on Cedric’s chest. His scent and presence felt safe, like a home away from home. – Cedric was still there when I woke up in the middle of the night. Right by my side. He never left. I looked at him in awe while admiring his soft snores.

‘But wait, isn’t this guy my enemy? Why am I all of a sudden feeling all these emotions?’ My head rests against the stiff hospital pillow while my mind is full of thoughts and feelings. Honestly, it is difficult to describe how I feel about Cedric.

It’s similar to the saying, ‘you want what you cannot have.’ Deep down, I love Cedric. I want to care for and understand him for who he honestly is. However, I know I can’t tell him how I feel.

My head turned to Cedric, looking at him in utter confusion. Out of all the people, why is he here with me? We dislike one another. This didn’t make sense… until it did.

‘No, there’s no way,’ I said to myself. ‘Maybe he just feels bad, and that’s why he is here.’ My gaze landed on the ceiling, and I could slowly feel my eyes closing. I passed out with Cedric by my side. At one point, I could feel his hand brush against my right hand, which I slowly held throughout the night.

The following day I woke up. Cedric was nowhere to be found. Disappointment took over my body as I knew everything was too good to be true. Well, as good as it can be right now.

Madame Pomfrey came towards me with a slight smile, “Glad to see you’re awake y/n. How are you feeling my dear?” “I’ve felt better.” I joked around, causing Madame Pomfrey to chuckle a bit. “Well, it’s reassuring to know your humor is still there.” Madame Pomfrey said while pouring me medicine. “Now drink this, it doesn’t taste very delightful but it will help heal your bones.”

I took the cup from Madame Pomfrey and chugged the medicine. She was right. That was absolute shit.

“Good thing no one ever said magic taste good,” I sarcastically said with a sour look on my face from the medicine. “I know dear, but you must take this every 10 hours. Hopefully in week you’ll be able to leave.” Madame Pomfrey reassured. I nodded. “Thank you, Madame Pomfrey,” I said with a kind grind.

“Wait Madame Pomfrey, I-I have a question.” I said in a hurry. “Yes, dear?” Madame Pomfrey replied with a curious yet concerned look on her face.

“I was wondering, do you happen to know why Cedric Diggory was with me last night?” I asked politely.

“Oh, yes. While you were out cold, Cedric stopped by every day for about a week. He would not leave your side,” Madame Pomfrey said. “I’m not one to pry into someone’s personal life, but I think he is quiet fond of you, Miss y/l/n.” Madame Pomfrey said with a slight smile.

‘I can’t believe it, Cedric was with me this whole time,’ I snap out of my thoughts when I see a familiar figure enter the room. Cedric Diggory. “Mr. Diggory,” Madame Pomfrey said with a hidden smile while exiting the room.

“How are you today?” Cedric said with a small bouquet of flowers in his hand. “I-I got these for you… glad to see you awake,” Cedric placed the flowers in a small vase on top of my hospital nightstand.

“I-I’m a bit better, just took some shit medicine,” I said while admiring the flowers. They are roses and chrysanthemums, my favorite. “W-what are you doing here?” I curiously asked.

“I’ve been worried about you since your accident. I started coming to visit every day. Some nights I would accidentally fall asleep, so Madame Pomfrey would let me stay the night. I guess I was waiting for you to wake up,” Cedric said while looking down. I could tell he was nervous by the way he was playing with his fingers.

Then, my eyes locked onto his like they usually do.

His beautiful brown/grey eyes are tired and slightly red from the lackluster sleep he has been having from staying with me most nights.

“Why would you do that?” I asked shyly and quietly.

“Because, y/n, I like you. I’ve always had. I didn’t want to say anything because I know you think the worse of me. I am sorry for causing that impression of me. It’s difficult for me to be vulnerable. I just end up being a dick. I have a tendency to not want to get close to people. But I’ve always cared for you,” Cedric said with the most sincere eyes.

I’ve never seen this side of him. Cedric is your typical handsome-popular guy that every girl wants. He is typically cold-hearted but humble when he needs to be. However, with me, he was always an asshole. Just continually trying to give me a difficult time by teasing or making immature jokes. He also never took me seriously, which irritated me.

This was different. As if Cedric’s whole demeanor had changed. He looked soft, approachable, kind, and genuine. Now, it’s apparent how naturally sympathetic and empathetic he is.

I was just staring at Cedric with soft, teary, doe eyes. I couldn’t speak. I was too thunderstruck to say anything. Cedric slowly sat down next to me, his eyes still locked onto mine. I could feel his hands caressing mine before delicately holding it.

“I really like you, y/n.” Cedric said while getting closer. “I really like you too, Cedric. I’ve always had feelings for you. I just couldn’t express it, and I never thought I would. I can’t begin to describe how thankful I am for you and everything you’ve done for me since my accident,” I said with slight tears.

Cedric didn’t say anything. He leaned in and kissed me passionately. His hand cupped my cheek while the other was carefully holding my hand. I melted into the kiss. I felt safe as a sense of security rushed through my body.

Cedric pulled away from the kiss, and our eyes met again.

“I love you, y/n.” ‘I love you too, Cedric.” The kiss continued, but this time tears were falling down my face. So many emotions are running through my mind, but I know I love this man. I always have. And I always will.