#life draining? effect?? and i think it has to do with how much u moved?

[fisheito]

Wtf dude the courage trial is so cute they're just holding hands and RUNNING FOR THEIRBLIVES AT SPEED 350😭

[callistoscope]

a healthy venture

Summary: As most know, sexual experimentation is all apart of a healthy relationship! It just so happens to coincide with a very awkward relationship for a couple like Harvey and Clarice, however.

Pairing: Cringefail(Clarice) x Harvey. (if you know you know.)

Word Count: 7.4k. I know, it’s ridiculous.

Warnings: Smut, smut, smut. AWKWARD smut. Takes a hot minute to get there, but when it’s there, it is THERE. The sexual experimentation in question is PEGGING with not much else, so….

a/n: this is silly and very crackfic-adjacent but also So Serious to me. also, yeah I guess they’re in a relationship, but early stages? probably had sex before this? Idk, whatever makes the most sense. sorry if the writing style comes off kinda cringe sometimes!!! I really tried to connect the writing style to what I imagine cringefail’s thought process would be like. and it might generally come off more amateurish since it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written. have mercy pls I swear I was so much better at writing like a year ago I’m getting back into the swing of things </3. If you have no idea who cringefail is or why’s she being paired with Harvey, she’s from @clarisinne ‘s comic!!! check it out!!!!!!(peer pressuring you). also @cowboyweevil since u asked me to tag u!

——

Clarice will be the first to admit that her life is consistently in tatters, and more often than not, it's her own hand that tears up that life the most. She had never been the type to have a sturdy head atop her unsteady shoulders— more the type to awkwardly headbutt into every problem and success that dared to beseech her. Both intentionally and unintentionally, sometimes simultaneously.

One thing she does know, a tidbit of information carved so deep into the recesses of her mind that even dementia wouldn't rob her of this simple fact— her sister was a fucking menace.

Clarice could have given her sister some semblance of underserved grace, could have said she wasn't so bad, if only that's where her bad qualities stopped. But Mars's abhorrent behavior was made all the more pesky by how relentless she was.

Her sister was as relentless as the damn splinter still wedged into Clarice's foot, a recent injury she had been careful to make sure Harvey wasn't privy to.

Harvey.

This was all his fault, really. For such a highly respected doctor, for whom which his town had only the most upstanding of opinions of him, beholding him as kind and responsible, Clarice feels safe in saying that her health had went down a steep decline since the moment. . . this happened. Since the moment this strikingly warm, gooey feeling coagulated in her heart, not unlike that of a fatal blood clot. Her life is effectively cut in half from the amount of stress she's experience since moving to this town. Her life force is visibly draining away, day by day, she's sure.

And her darling sister has the nerve to kick her while she's already down. Escalating the gradual deterioration of Clarice's health like the terminal illness only Mars can be like.

Even now, her sister giggles behind her hand in midst the autumn wind, brimming with an audacity that makes Clarice seethe. She has to bite back the urge to chuck her full watering can at her.

Casually, her sister leans down to pluck a pumpkin from the ground, holding it proudly in her arms. A smile plays on her face, one Clarice does not like one bit. "You know... I've been thinking—"

"Stop doing that."

"I've been thinking—" she trots along, happy as a clam. Content as a mischievous cat might be more apt. "If Harvey doesn't step up more, you might really have to take the reins. In a way you don't expect."

Stubbornly, Clarice stays off to the side. She crosses her arms, clutching the watering can high up in protest. Her job this morning was to water whatever crops weren't already covered by their sprinklers, and she was feeling like her labor wasn't deserved the more this conversation carried on. Nothing of substance had been said yet, but Clarice's ears pick up on the lilt in her little sister's voice.

Said sister finally shoots her a cursory glance over her shoulder. "Really! I'm just trying to help you out!" The laughter in her voice says otherwise. "Because, honest to God, the more I think about it— the more plausible it becomes."

Clarice's eyes narrow, body tense in anticipation for the nearing punchline. "... What?" However hesitant, the word ebbs out all the same.

Clarice can see her sister's figure trembling already, frame wracked with inexplicable mirth, and she already wants to sink into the dirt. "Because—" she starts, unhelpfully, voice warbling, "I'm sorry, but that is the exact kind of man who'd wanna get pegged."

Mars's voice grows high-pitched, wavering, and the cackle she lets out would rival a witch. Clarice can hardly focus on that sound, her ears ringing so loud it blocks everything else. Pegging. What the fuck?

Her face grows hot, and it takes conscious effort to not pass out right onto the dirt ground. Whether it be from the thought alone or merely from the fact that her younger sister thought this made for acceptable conversation, Clarice can't be sure. Before Clarice can even hope to respond, the other is rattling off like she's finally been given an excuse to.

"And— and listen! I'm not judging! Good for Harvey! Good for you! As long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual, right?" She bites the words out a bit, trying not to laugh too hard, nearly dropping the pumpkin.

"Stop." Clarice chokes, half plea half threat, blood rushing through her ears. Her mind is fraying at the edges, her brain rotting in record time. She's just starting to stomp her way over to her bastard sister.

"All I'm saying is— I know an online shop that'll ship here, yeah? Sells strap-ons, and has good variety. Pretty quick, too! Poor Harvey won't have to wait very long."

Clarice's free hand just reaches up to claw at her scalp in mortified agony, freezing for one sickening moment. She's on the path to getting her bearings and cursing Mars out like she never has before. Her mind is just on the verge of rewiring itself into proper working order. Like most things in her life, however, Clarice's life never stops at one bad thing.

"Um."

Harvey's voice is small, but the effect it has on her body is not. Clarice's body goes stiff as a rod, and the awkwardly loud clearing of his throat finally coaxes her into snapping her head back to look at him. So hard that one of her braids whips against her throat. Harvey stays where he is, loitering around the entrance of the farm with an odd rigidity to his face.

Clarice's body proves untrustworthy, and the hand holding the watering can goes limp. It's the moment after the tepid metal slips from her fingers that the gravity of her mistake hits her.

It really does hit her— the hefty watering swishes loudly as it lands straight on her foot with the accuracy of an Olympic gymnast.

"Fuck!" Clarice all but howls, stumbling back and promptly tipping back onto the dirt with an equally pained shout. It's a hard fall that ends with her gaze blearily aimed up at the blue sky, her ears picking up the sounds of two pairs of shoes scuttling up their respective pathways.

Of course. Of course it was the foot she had the splinter in.

——

Of all the sexual escapades both her waking and unconscious mind liked to torture herself with by envisioning… Clarice will admit that pegging isn't one of them. Not to say that her thoughts are incapable of running along the more adventurous paths she catches herself pointedly trying to ignore, but it simply had never come up.

Until now, at the violation of her coveted free will, at her sister's hands. She wishes all the terrible things for Mars, sometimes.

And she really shouldn't be mulling over her sister's words seriously, but her mind is deliberately caught on the thought.

... How does Clarice even feel about the concept? Even vaguely, if she just distantly ponders over what exactly that would entail? Maybe she feels some sexual curiosity she'll get to sating one of these days, should Harvey give it the okay?

If Clarice lets her mind do more than skim over the topic, however... the honest reality of what such an activity would bring is enough for her to be content to shelf it out of sheer mortification, never to see the light of day. Harvey, as always, is a different case. Adds integers into the equation that forces Clarice to reconsider everything, to reach for a different conclusion she otherwise never would have. She's forced into growth with him, sickeningly enough.

More annoyingly, she's forced into tending to herself in areas where she usually would shrug and walk it off. As soon as the hard, metal, heavy watering can had crashed onto her foot, the strange tension dispersed throughout the farm had vaporized on Harvey's part. Harvey had been painfully normal to her for those few minutes. Fussing over her, taking her carefully by the arm and coaxing her into her own house, insisting he check her foot for any major damage.

Mars had the social grace to stay outside, and Clarice prays she has enough to feel ashamed. She's knocked out of that thought when Harvey cautiously presses down on the top of her foot, and she promptly hisses.

"Sorry, sorry," he says, mouth flitting to a little frown. Harvey looks up at her from where he's taken a knee in front of her to closely inspect her foot, those brown eyes of his more like puppy dog eyes. "Just want to make sure nothing's fractured." Despite his words, he presses down at a different area of her foot, and Clarice's leg twitches with the instinct to kick him.

Her mind continues to fluctuate between nauseating panic and increasing irritation at Harvey's continued poking and prodding. It all culminates when he leans back, seeming satisfied with his work, meeting her eyes another time.

Abruptly, his eyes widen and his gaze scatters back to the floor, and that's all the confirmation Clarice needs to know exactly what place Harvey's mind goes back to. She'd had hope he'd forgotten about it, but that hope is thoroughly dashed and thrown back to drown in the river.

"So. Um..." he trails back into silence just as rapidly as he starts to speak, a palpable tension fracturing any temporary peace that had settled. Harvey shuffles, a stiffness settling over his body that she notices. It's the soft blush that peeks over his ears that does Clarice in, an innocent seashell pink that makes her eyes dart to the opposite direction of the room in deflection. Her hands claw shakily at the leather of the couch.

"Listen... I know it's technically none of my business, and it wasn't exactly meant for my ears—" Harvey lets out a labored breath. From the corner of her eye, Clarice can see his head tilt up, before hesitantly bobbling back down. He seems torn on where he should be looking. "And, uh— I didn't exactly hear everything? So, uh..." he says, voice wavering at the end. Clarice chances a glance, only to see a bright red blooming over the slopes of his cheeks, hands clenching at the pant leg of the knee he's supporting his weight on.

"I'm really sorry if I'm misunderstanding, but... how exactly did that topic come up?" He squirms a little from where he's kneeling, as if even just saying such vague words wired a shot of adrenaline straight through his nervous system. Clarice can relate, even if she knows what he's feeling is infinitesimal compared to the amount of adrenaline coursing through her.

Steam might start coming out through her ears if her mind ponders on any of this any longer. "... My sister brought it up." she mumbles, voice strained. Clarice brings her hands up, rubbing her temples, her cheeks nearly scorching her palms. Apologies, insults directed at her sister, humiliated blubbering, all sit at the tip of her tongue, but she just can't manage it. It's more like there's a stone in her mouth, on the verge of suffocating her, and her lips feel dementedly stitched together. "She thought you'd— I don't know. You know." It feels like flames lick up her cheeks then, and she winces with grief at the bitter loss of normalcy regarding their relationship. Who is she kidding? That ship had long since passed.

"Ah," Harvey actually scratches at the back of his neck, and something about that makes her want to scream in pain. It's such a stereotypical display of anxiety, and it makes those gooey feelings spring up like unwanted weeds along the sidewalk of her heart. It's endearing, damn him. "So, you're not...?"

Harvey eyes trail back up, she can feel them on her body before she can see them. Her eyes meet his in quick succession, and she feels herself jolt as if she's touched a live wire. He himself seems a bit frozen in comparison, but there's a glint in his eyes. Eyebrows furrowed, looking uncertain yet decidedly... curious. Flustered and nervous, but not disgusted.

Clarice jolts again, eyes going wide, hands falling from her head. She probably tears a few red hairs out in the process, but doesn't have the presence of mind to care when her mind is racing a mile a minute. "Oh God, you are into it." she blurts, bewildered for a multitude of reasons.

Any bravado Harvey seems to have procured promptly breaks from under him, his head bowing down as he's left to pick up the pieces. "I didn't say that!" he insists shakily, sweeping a hand through his hair.

"It's just— if that was something you were into, I wanted to..." Harvey's voice dies, swiftly fishing his hand out of his hair. "I... didn't want you to feel ashamed about it, is all. Or like you couldn't talk to me about it." he finishes with an exhale, his face brimming with a vibrant red.

Clarice swallows, shifting on the couch with an antsy energy. "... How do you feel about it?" she forces out, more stiffly than she'd like. Her methods of communication were never as smooth or clear-cut as she envisioned. Moments like these only exacerbated that flaw. "You can... talk to me, too." She cringes. She sounds a little robotic.

Yet, Clarice had promised herself to try and be more... open, about any such topics with Harvey. To be considerate and hold his feelings with higher priority than following through on her track record and waving them away. Instead of regressing into the skittish fawn she is at heart and dashing away.

Harvey fidgets before slowly rising to his feet, face still red as a rose. "I haven't thought about it much, until now. But honestly, I don't feel negatively about it." Something shifts in his expression, fills his face with unyielding tension, and his eyes shyly flit to the other side of the room.

"Morbid curiosity is probably the most accurate emotion for what I'm feeling." It's said with a weight, as though he's confessing some grand sin to a noble higher priest. "It was clearly just meant to all be jokes, though, so the last thing I'd do is expect anything out of it! Not to say I even really want anything out of it."

She sucks in a deep, steadying breath.

"It's okay if you do." Clarice's face flames as soon as she dares to utter such words. She gestures awkwardly with her hands, body more akin to lifeless metal than flesh and blood. "Haha! Sex—" she chokes, abruptly restarting the sentence.

"Sexual— Sexual experimentation is just a part of a healthy relationship! And we're healthy!" Smiling tightly, the inflection of her voice comes out more manic, a little frantic. She bumps her elbow against him, harder than she means if the wince that stretches over Harvey's face has anything to say about it.

"And it's normal! We're normal, and we can do this! Right, doctor?" Clarice grits her teeth a little, elbowing him again, desperate.

"Y- Yeah! Hah, definitely!" Harvey laughs nervously, rubbing the side of his stomach. "But, we should probably discuss this more, if you're really being serious—"

"— Harvey," Her face is promptly buried in her hands, unable to even cast a glance in his direction. "I'm at my limit. Please."

Another anxious little laugh bubbles out of him, pulling at a loose thread hanging from his coat. "Of course. Yes, that's, whatever makes you comfortable. We can talk about this later."

——

The simple fact of the matter is that they do. It's a verbal scuttle that seesaws back into Clarice conversationally dragging her feet, as most conversation between them winds up being on her end. How Harvey puts up with it is beyond her— hell, Harvey himself is beyond her.

Kind, wonderful Harvey mystifies her as much as he begrudgingly enchants. He is some strange, glittering galaxy that perplexes her with his intent to be swept into her chaotic gravity. Terrifyingly considerate, practically falling over himself with every other word when he insists that they don't have to do this, he wants her to be comfortable, he only wants what she wants—

And... What does Clarice want? The question echoes in her mind, the answer echoing in kind.

To be sated.

This curiosity, it stifles her in its attempt to persuade her. It sits in her chest, leaves residue when it attempts to glue itself in her head. Clarice had waved it off, tried to ignore it, but the remains fester there. The rot of the idea is only fertilizer, and ultimately, it only grows. She's curious, and she's always been one to explore what springs that emotion in her. For the most part.

And when she finally wrings out that honesty out of herself, Harvey flusters, but moves with the natural pull that such a confession swings a conversation into: what now? What's the plan?

There's a list of questions that are steadily answered, ticked off the mental list she's sure Harvey had conjured up in his head. Where? Definitely your apartment, I'd kill you and myself if my sister heard. Okay. Uh, how would we get the... equipment? Ship it to your apartment. My sister would never let me live it down if she got even a hint of it.

Many similar questions and answers filtered out amongst them. Harvey makes some timid remark about doing his own personal research regarding how he should prepare himself, and the conversation is effectively capped off for a few weeks. It's the persistent elephant in the room, one that grows inexplicably bigger one day in later Autumn. Finally, after some surface level digging that more exposed how deeply it burdened Harvey's mind rather than exposed any real concern from Clarice, he admitted that that the equipment came. 'It,' he'd referred to it so aptly.

It. It came. There wasn't much more to plan than the main event itself. Not much more to do other than biting the bullet and doing it. With the grand exception being thinking about it, a crime which Clarice finds herself exuberantly guilty of. The last few weeks had given her heartburn, her thoughts becoming expertly nomadic in the way they traveled from normal and innocent to salient and crude. Stray thoughts that clustered rapidly in one great moment of imagination before popping and deflating like a balloon. Leaving her flustered in midst her daily chores, normalcy strained for the rest of the day.

What would Harvey say? What would he sound like, how would it feel? How would Clarice feel, really, to be the one giving in such a way?

She didn't have to wonder much longer. Even still, her curiosities still ring so loud in her head as she stands at the door of the clinic, heart running at such a magnitude that a hummingbird's would pale in comparison. She clutches her to go bag in an iron grip, the reason why she had a to go bag making her body all the hotter.

Clarice's mind whirrs when the door opens, and it doesn't stop until they reach Harvey's humble apartment towards the top, and even then, it only dulls. She isn't even sure what sort of pleasantries they exchanged, too strung up in her thoughts to be in anything other than on autopilot.

"We don't have to do this," Harvey drills the notion yet again into her head as he is bending down at the side of his bed, hand grasping blindly at the space under the bed frame. "Really. We could just sit in for a normal night. I wouldn't mind any."

Clarice gathers herself, though her efforts are futile when it's like trying to keep water in her hands. "I would." she bites out, sucking in a breath through her teeth with a whistling sound as she gracelessly lets her bag drop to the floor. "I want to. We're doing this." she says, surprising herself with the shaky, albeit no less sincere, conviction in her voice.

"... As long as, you know, you're still down with it." she falters, twiddling with the sleeve of her jacket absently. Her gaze returns to Harvey when she hears a sliding sound, like something being dragged across the floor.

"I am!" Harvey breathes, voice wavering. He isn't looking at her, instead looking at the box he'd apparently stashed under his bed. "... I just like to be sure about these sorts of things." He stands back up with the box in tow, presenting it to her as he steps closer and closer. His face is already flushing, though it's a soft dainty pink that she finds all too fitting on him.

As her gaze roves over the box, it is not a dainty pink that seizes her face. On the white box is an understandably crude picture of a dildo, a strap-on she thinks belatedly, with words in varying fonts spewed around it. Reviews, the technical name of this model, the brand. Interestingly enough, it seems Harvey bought a set, her eyes pick up. A strap-on and a harness.

It hits her all at once, and she makes a sound that is part laugh and part cry. She's incredulous, unable to conceive everything that is happening, the things that click into place. "God, you hid it? Under your bed?" she mumbles, the humor of the situation washing over her as she lets out a raspy laugh. Harvey, the highly respected doctor of Pelican Town, hiding a strap-on under his bed.

Harvey makes an affronted noise, though his voice trembles a little with laughter when he weakly replies, "Yes. It— I didn't have room for it in my drawer." Bashfully, he gestures to said drawer, the one next to his colossal bookcase.

Clarice snorts, and the tension eases. Where this is all going, where the current is taking them, doesn't seem so scary for a moment. Harvey smiles, still a little timid, and starts to open up one of the flaps of the box. "Is it really that funny?"

"I don't know. Probably not." Clarice admits in a weak voice of her own, swallowing as he moves back the layers of the box. It's one of those types, weirdly shiny and like plastic more than the traditional brown box. That tension fills back in slightly when her eyes catch sight of it. Well, not yet, it's in a protective pouch— but nothing can really hide the distinct shape that the fabric really only enhances.

It only takes a moment for Harvey to grasp it, holding it in a limp grip as he pointedly looks at the other contents of the box, ears tipped in red. "And, ah, hm," Awkwardly, he moves the pouch into the curve of his elbow, the back of his arm holding it against his body. His free arm fishes out the harness more preparedly, touching it less like a dead fish. "Here's... the harness."

It takes a moment to realize that he's holding it out to her, waiting for her to take it. Clarice shuffles with nervous energy, taking it and holding it stiffly away from her body. As if any making any further contact with it will scorch her. She already burns, and it's in the most humiliating way. An uncomfortable heat bread-crumbing its way lower and lower, with plenty of pauses. "Should I... put it on?"

Harvey makes a sound, lips parting as if to say something. They only close again, and she can see his Adam's apple bob as he swallows. He only nods, abruptly turning around. Only then does he find his voice. "Probably, yes."

Respectively, both parties begin to disrobe, Clarice starting with her shoes and socks and whittling away at the rest. A part of her tries to be neat about it, wants to be, but quickly loses that train of thought as soon as she has it. Anxiety gnaws at her the whole way through, until there's a messy pile of clothes sitting next to her and a weight in her chest. And the harness tightly in her grasp. Clarice rubs the fabric between thumb and forefinger curiously, sighing as she starts to journey of putting it on.

And a journey it is, anxiety quickly becoming secondary to the frustration that shuffles to the forefront of her mind. Trying to figure out what could be adjusted, how to hold certain parts of the harness while she slides it further up her body, it was a bit of a nightmare. Clarice adjusts the position of the O-ring when she's decently certain it's secure enough, pulling the adjustable straps against her body tighter afterwards just for extra security.

Clarice exhales a slow breath as she turns, wiping sweat from her brow. Only to find Harvey watching, naked from the waist down, his dark eyes a little wide and glazed, clutching the hem of his shirt. He jolts, hand fidgeting with the hem, as if unable to decide if he should take it off or not. "I'm so sorry, I just—"

"Were you staring at me?" Clarice asks, mortification budding at every nerve in her body in hot sparks.

"I wanted to make sure you weren't struggling with the harness!" Harvey says defensively, slipping his shirt off in one bold movement. "Because, if you were, I did look into it. I... should have mentioned that." His voice grows calm again, face ripening to more of a raspberry pink. Predictably, he folds his shirt up with practiced ease, almost more of a nervous tic than him actively wanting to.

Her eyes absently wander over his body, only to trail down harshly even at something as simple as the look of his bare chest. Clarice catches blurry snapshots at every other part of his body, but her mind is too scrambled to attempt to study the details.

"Should I..." she hears Harvey swallow this time, him almost making a gurgling noise at the back of his throat. "Should I get onto my back?" he continues, voice edging on squeaky.

"No," she blurts, shaking her head frenetically. She can't. There's many things she can do right now, is willing to, wants to do, but having Harvey on his back under her during this, helpless and pliant... she just can't do that right now. It stirs something in her, sure, something she may want to get to know more intimately in due time. Maybe. But not now. "I'm getting on my back. You're going to have to just— figure it out."

She hugs her body, wobbling over to his bed with the intention to plop down in a show of dominance, only to pause. The pouch lays on his bed, the fabric still doing absolutely nothing to disfigure the phallic shape. That's all it takes to make her sweat again, that anxiety of hers rising from its grave as she picks it up much like he had carried it previously. Underlining it all is that tailspin of anticipation, lying snugly under any negative emotions that threaten to impede the event.

"I mean you can just, you know," she stammers, eyes bulging at her own thoughts. "You know." Her eyes avoid him, digging her fingers into the opening and tugging it open, looking away when she grasps at the flared base. Clarice has no hope of keeping her eyes open as she slides it out of the silk, immediately fluttering closed just upon seeing purple. Prying her eyes back open, she forces a study session of sorts, discerning any texture she can make out by sight. It seems... smooth, not sculpted to be very indicative of an actual dick besides the base shape. More like an artist's under drawing.

Harvey is staring at it just as intently, with bated breath, hands clenching into fists. "That's okay, I can do that. I just, before that, I'll need to... prep myself. I can't just—" His hand lurches up to adjust his glasses shakily, that scarlet Harvey has been valiantly fighting off spilling on his cheeks like paint. "I-I need to use my fingers first."

Clarice's eyes aren't beckoned away from the toy at that, but her brain fizzles. It flickers and flames, a part of her screaming to watch and another pleading to cover her face the whole time. You'll never survive if you watch, it pleads.

"... Okay." she chokes, because what other response is there? "I'm also going to... prepare." Her voice sounds so small, even to her own ears. With a trembling hand, Clarice twists the toy in her grip, carefully holding the flared base awkwardly to her pelvis, trying to figure out how to thread the base into the O-ring. Harvey tries to pipe up helpfully, blabbering nervously about what to do, but shuts up when Clarice begs out, "Please shut up."

Harvey is fumbling with something, and once Clarice ensures the strap-on is slotted in correctly, she turns to see him drawing out a little bottle of what she can only assume is lube. He opens it in a diligent twist, coating his fingers quickly and wincing. She notes how he seems to focus on covering two fingers above all else, and that flame stirs again. More like a spark, hesitant but hungry for a chance to ignite.

She stiffly sits and lays on the bed, in such a way that her legs splay out over the side of the bed, soles of her feet touching the wood. Harvey passes the lube to her, pressing it to her stomach. "You're... You should probably use this, too." he says, face flushing a red that Clarice's own rushes to imitate. Harvey sits, but does not lay, in the same way she does. Except he props a leg up on the bed, spreading himself open, pressing that knee to his stomach as he settles next to her. She decides to be grateful she can't see anything from this angle, only his back, everything else too far in her peripheral to make anything particularly lewd out.

That gratitude is a fleeting present, for she is suddenly made intimately aware of the moment he must edge a finger into himself by the way his breath hitches. Clarice can't not notice, it's such a sharp sound that resonates in her ears— the leg up on the bed twitches. The bed creaks, and the spark ignites like a firework.

She brings a hand up to her mouth as her eyes betray her, her own thighs twitching with want for relief as she scours his back. Sees his shoulder blades flex when he must push in deep, loosen when he pulls out shallow. Harvey's very breath is trembling, his hips attempting to buck, but only succeeding in a meek roll with the way he's scrunched up.

"I'm so sorry if this is weird," he says, voice muffled and breathy. He must be covering his mouth with his free hand, too. Clarice can't say anything, especially not when he sighs as a tremor wracks through his body. His hips give another pitiful roll, his head lolling back for a brief second.

"H-Have you done this before?" she asks, perhaps too banally. It's just too practiced, he falls into each motion with too much ease. Experience. Her ears are reacting that way to sound again, any noise muted, as if underwater.

Harvey whines quietly, though the sound reeks more of humiliation than bliss. Clarice's body reacts the same regardless, shifting on the bed fruitlessly. She can feel herself pulsing, and she thinks she's gonna pass out if she focuses on that facet of this situation any more than she needs to.

"... Not before any of this came up. Just over the past few weeks." he manages shakily, "Just... just to see what I thought. To see if I liked it."

The bed creaks particularly loud with one swipe of his pelvis, and the sound he makes does sound more pleased. "Didn't want to make you go through any of this if I didn't even like it."

"... And you like it?"

Clarice buries her face in her hand then, when the silence stretches out a bit too long. Every part of her burns. Every nerve is roaring fire, and it's suffocating. What could even relieve her, she doesn't know.

"... Yeah. It was— it's nice." Harvey gasps out, a flurry of panicked breaths escaping him. He's trying to catch his breath, body going tense as wood. He tries to exhale, some other noise laden in it. "I think— I think I'm ready."

Harvey's arm looks disfigured as he moves it from this angle, the movement sputtering to a quickness that slows just as soon. His head tilts as he wipes sweat from his forehead with his free hand, seeming to completely pause. it's confirmed when he rests the other hand on his leg.

Her mind is caught in a constant loop of What do I do? and I don't know for a few seconds. For once, Clarice's body is dependable and rational, a hand grabbing for the small plastic bottle on her stomach. It's like all sentience has seeped out of her ears, her mind going blank as she pumps the strap-on absently, making the toy nice and slick. Apparently, she’s already poured it out on her hand.

The blankness in her head abruptly swirls into color, thoughts, visions, when Harvey turns his body. He gets onto his knees, ushering himself closer to her body, but not bridging any actual distance. His warm skin and body sit plainly out of reach.

Harvey hums plaintively, and Clarice can't even begin to explore what that could mean.

"You're really sure you're okay with this?"

A deep sigh reverberates throughout the room. Clarice leans back on the bed, pressing her hand harder against her face. "Yes," she groans out, agonized. "I'll tell you if I'm not feeling it."

Harvey lets out another heavy breath, though it sounds less burdened. "Alright. In that case then, I'll, uh, I need to..."

"Okay." Clarice says, high pitched, pulling her hand quickly away from the strap-on. It's weird, wearing this thing. She can feel the phantom sensations of where it tilts, now that her hand isn't there to direct it straight.

"Okay," Harvey echoes her, similar down straight to the tone, the almost squeaky way he says it. "I'll... try not to put too much of my weight on you."

"Thanks." Clarice merely whines, wilting into the mattress.

Harvey shuffles over, bed creaking with every new placement of his knees jutting into the bed. There's a moment where the anticipation builds, becomes something tangible and unbearably thick. The tension squeezes against itself, then loosens, like a heartbeat. Like it's a real, pulsing thing.

Harvey places a hand on the bed, around her side, gripping his covers tight as he murmurs apologies. Throws a leg over her waist as his other hand braces near the other side of her, releasing a shaky breath. He keeps himself up on his knees, looking down at himself and grasping at the strap-on feverishly by the base, holding it more in a line. Clarice doesn't know what expression he's making, what expression she's making, all too busy covering her face. Risking glances through the spaces of her fingers. It's all happening simultaneously too fast and tortuously slow.

"Alright," Harvey exhales, adjusting his knees one more time, face wrought with anticipation. "... Alright."

With a steady gaze downwards, Harvey slowly lowers his body down. He jolts as if struck with electricity when the tip presses against his rim, lips parting with a slow breath as he inches down further after a pause. There's a start of a whine in the back of his throat every time the strap-on slides in deeper, but he always staves it off. Always sucks in more air, and keeps going dutifully.

Harvey keeps to his promise and carefully holds himself up even as the strap-on fills him, an occasional shake winding from his face to his legs. Those dance aerobics classes seem to be paying off, in any case.

This seems to be one of the rare circumstances where Harvey is considerate of his boundaries and limits, hips undulating up and down with a careful air. It's a process he treats delicately, gives himself plenty of time to relax in between motions, and Clarice can appreciate that solely because he deserves to be treated gently. Even if she's horrible at doing it, he deserves that much. That sort of growth is something she owes him, one of these days.

That day will come, but today is a different one, a different milestone. Harvey doesn't contest these thoughts of hers, moaning softly once the gentle treatment becomes unnecessary. Unwanted, if the gradually increasing speed of his rhythm could have any thoughts on the matter.

Through the slits of trembling fingers, Clarice watches. Everything is magnified, all the emotions breaking some impossibly high dam despite the odds. There's shifts in Harvey's expression every time he effectively bounces, lips twitching with effort to keep himself quiet. Sweat glistens along his forehead and neck— he shines in the low lamplight that sits glowing only about a foot away.

The heat between her legs is unbearable. Clarice can't remember the last time she had gotten so wet and hadn't tended to herself. Hadn't been able to. It's humiliating, but that emotion is so weak and malleable in the current of pure arousal her body is getting lost in. Her head is foggy, yet her vision is vibrant with clarity, with Harvey.

Harvey, who's working himself down harder with every passing second. Instead of that lost, cloudy look catching in his eyes, he only looks all the more searching. Harvey sits back further on his heels, letting out a moan that sounds frustrated. Unthinkingly, Clarice's eyes glance downward at the dick between his legs. Straining and flushed against his abdomen, with him close enough that she can see the pearl of pre-cum beading at the very tip. It moves with every motion he makes. The bead drips over, trailing over every bump and ridge.

"... What's wrong?" Clarice dares to speak, voice containing a rasp that floors her.

"... I can't," Harvey whines, back arching as he sculpts his hips into a particular rocking motion. "I-I can't, I need—" he chokes, leaning far enough that he has to grind his hips forward and back more than up and down for the strap-on to stay inside.

Then he jolts at a particular thrust he implores, gasping sharply. His brown eyes go wide, glasses jumping with every movement that he makes, suddenly speeding up. "Oh! Oh, please, please—"

His thighs tremble with effort, and suddenly he's sliding right down. Harvey's weight presses right into her as he essentially sits on her lap, making her let out a grunt of surprise rather than one of any meaningful discomfort. He's straddling her completely, and the whimper he lets out is downright pitiful.

Harvey blinks with wet eyes, his eyes searching for hers, face twisted with embarrassment. Need laces it, need seems nestled into every frantic little movement Harvey attempts to make. Only for Harvey's body to slump back down, clearly too exhausted to keep doing all the work. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I can't— can you—?"

He suffers through the moment for air, face red as a strawberry, thighs still shaking even as he's seated. ".... Help me," he breathes, air whistling through his teeth a little. "Please."

The blood in her body is torn between two places. Clarice feels light-headed, her chest heaving for air she hadn't realized had dissipated. She's sweating before she's even doing anything, before she warily places her spare hand on his hip for support. Harvey groans with relief before she even properly helps him out. "Thank you, thank you." he chants.

He starts to move up again, more uninhibited thanks to the added momentum of Clarice's hand moving with him. Harvey lets out a hoarse cry when Clarice gathers enough courage to start rolling her hips up, meeting in a messy pace where neither is sure who should follow who.

Clarice shudders at the sudden increase in sounds, and more importantly, the volume. Face flaming, her mind wails to reprimand him in some way, to remind him of his neighbors who know him, but more importantly her. It's here where input and output scramble uselessly in the recesses of her brain. "Harvey! You— You need to quiet down." she hisses from her hand, on the cusp of a grand mistake. Her mind aims for swatting at his arm, but seeing as both hands are busy with equally important tasks, an easy pair of dots are connected.

Clarice raises her hand for a brief moment, smacking his ass lightly. Absently.

Harvey downright squeaks with shock, jerking on her lap. "I'm— I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

She could die right that moment, but thankfully, Harvey seems too out of it to make a comment on it. She cowers further into her hand all the same, body as hot as a furnace, eyes watering.

Clarice is just as quick to look through her fingers again, her other hand gripping his hip tightly, heart stopping in her chest when Harvey bites into his palm, muffling yet another cry. His eyes are lidded behind his glasses, breathing unsteady against his palm.

Harvey shakes his head, babbling around his hand as his body starts to tense up. "Clarice. Clarice. Feels good." His voice catches, bed creaking. An embarrassed pride stings her chest, hand clawing into his hip with her nails.

Despite the strain her voice, she forces what she knows he needs out. "You're doing so good, Harvey."

Harvey trembles, eyes squeezing shut, head tipping back. "... Clarice, 'm gonna..." he's nearly incoherent, too weak to keep riding the strap-on even with Clarice's guidance. Her moving hips seem to be enough to suffice, his teeth visibly digging deeper into his skin.

He blinks, once, then twice, then again, each one more rapid than the last. Harvey's body seizes, Clarice can feel it down to his thighs, his head bolting back forward. To her surprise, his other hand goes to cover the one holding his hip, his hips rolling in sporadic little bursts.

Harvey holds her hand to him tightly, dragging in one more ragged breath as the tension crests and drops with an abruptness entirely expected. He wheezes a little, sounding almost pained as his body quakes through the orgasm, cock twitching with little spurts.

All Clarice can do is watch with wide eyes, hiding them behind her hand again when it gets too much. All of this has been too much, really, but the feeling really implodes in the aftermath.

Soon enough, Harvey manages to haul his body to the spot next to her, sluggish and sated when he lets his body collapse. The bed squeaks in protest. Clarice's eyes burn more and more with unshed tears by the second, face hotter than the sun. She is half convinced that when she pulls her hand away, there will be burns staining her fingers and palm.

"Do you..." Harvey suddenly pipes up, lungs still audibly fighting for oxygen. "... want me to return the favor?" he asks, managing to sound as timid as he was breathless. "I mean, I know you didn't... finish." he coughs as quiet as a mouse.

Clarice makes a strangled sound, rolling on the side that turned her back to him. Tears spill out of her eyes, though she can't say any part of her regrets the experience. She's just... overwhelmed, mortified, and irritatingly horny. "No."

"Are you crying?" The bed dips as Harvey's voice pitches higher up in panic. "Oh, I'm so—"

"Harvey, it was hot," she sputters through tears, not giving him the chance to piss her off through his relentless apologies yet again. "Shut up. I'm just overwhelmed."

A hand tentatively reaches for her shoulder, Clarice's body tensing when she feels him stroke her shoulder assuringly. She hates him a little for it, hates it more when she actually relaxes.

It takes a moment of deliberate silence until the feeling soothes in her chest. Wiping away a few tears, she reluctantly rolls onto her other side, facing Harvey. “… Hi.” she says, voice a little muted.

“Hi.” The sentiment is mimicked easily, breathlessly, though he tacks a hesitant smile onto his flushed face. Clarice bursts into a giddy giggle for a reason she can’t quite pin down, giving him a watery smile. Harvey’s smile brightens, looking relieved. Some sexual exploration is healthy in the long run, she supposes, if it feels this freeing at the end.

[fallenrepublick]

Affections for Tech revealed! He is a sweetheart and absolutely precious. He deserves all the love!

That being said... I know you have a NSFW Alphabet in your amazing mind for him. I am certain of it.

Hah! You know me well...

A is for Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Out. Of. Breath. He's a service top at best, but... in actuality, he's a bottom. Such a bottom. So by the time you're done with him, there are still tears in his eyes, an arm over his forehead as he tries to catch his breath.

B is for Body Part (their favourite body part of their partner or themselves)

Every part of you that he can get a reaction out of. Anything on you that's sensitive is fair game, your chest, between your legs, even places that may be more unconventional. He likes seeing how your legs tense, or the way you shiver when he touches these places. He watches your expressions as he studies and stows away the information for later.

C is for Cum (anything to do with cum basically)

He doesn't have all that much of a fixation on it, other than when you cum for him. It's more of an indicator of how well he's doing, essentially timing himself with how long it takes you to cum. Seeing you cum when you fuck him is a large part of his reward, especially when riding his face.

D is for Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

Praise is a big thing for him, because of how little he usually receives it. And he craves it from you specifically. It may be his fear of becoming obsolete coming into play, but the fact that you so often say how good he makes you feel is enough to make him think about it constantly.

E is for Experienced (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's experienced with the theory of it all. He's got more than enough knowledge of the human body that the practice itself is simple. But everyone is different, what they like, what they respond best to. It varies so much that actually having sex is whole new learning curve, an opportunity for him to learn about you. So while he's knowledgeable, the experience is something else entirely.

F is for Favourite Position (what’s their go-to sex position?)

He, like many other subs, likes to be ridden. Especially in his armour, with only his codpiece off. But you know, leaning him against the ship console and sucking him off works just as well.

G is for Goofy (are they more serious in the moment or are they more humorous?)

He's more serious, oftentimes having little opportunity to be cheeky or funny about it. You make quite sure of that. And when he's servicing you, he'll be so lost in the task that being humorous isn't on his mind at all.

H is for Hair (how well groomed are they?)

Extremely well kept. He makes absolutely certain that everything is in perfect condition.

I is for Intimacy (how do they act during the moment?)

Nervous, a bit flustered. He can feel his face growing warm as you start touching him, even if it's only slightly, trying to logic his way out of his own head. But he's very willing to listen, following your instructions, your needs. Wide eyes lower to a half-close, attention moves to your lips. He knows exactly what comes next.

Although, on the few occasions where he initiates, he's quite matter-of-fact about it. He needs you, hasn't been able to stop thinking about you for hours on end. Thus, this task is necessary as any other, and he'll even be going on about something else while pulling your clothes off.

J is for Jack Off (Masturbation)

He will a few times, here and there when he has the opportunity to. He does often lose himself in work for a while, so his free alone time is too minimal to fit in a satisfying session.

K is for Kinks (one or more of their kinks)

Overstimulation, mostly. You've also fucked him a few times with his helmet on, which awoke something in him.

L is for Location (favourite places to get dirty)

Anywhere that he can be sure will be empty for the next five minutes at least.

M is for Motivation (what gets them going)

He's an absolute slut for being controlled. Anything you do that's even remotely dominant, sweet-talking him, pinning him, making him beg. That all does it, and does it well.

N is for No (something they won’t do in the bedroom, turn offs)

He doesn't see much value in being mean. He... also doesn't know how to, even if he were to try.

O is for Oral (giving, receiving, skill, etc.)

More of a giver than receiver. When you go to him, hooking your fingers under the band of his glasses, sliding them off the top of his head in a slow motion as you kiss him, he knows what you want. And make no mistake, having you sit on his face might as well be a hobby.

Sometimes, though, you'll push him against the console of the ship, or perhaps into his pilot seat, eagerly pulling off the armor obstructing your reach, and wasting no time in swirling his cock in your mouth. Don't think he's ever going to reject that.

P is for Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Usually, he will take it slow, but with you in control, fast and hard works wonders on him. Give him not even a moment to breathe and you'll have him wrapped around your finger the rest of your life.

Q is for Quickie (their opinions of quickies versus proper sex)

He is the master of quickies. He knows exactly where to touch you, and how long it takes you to cum. If he's particularly desperate, he'll pull you somewhere remote, saying quickly as he moves aside your clothes,

"According to my calculations, this room will be unoccupied for the next six and a half minutes, meaning that if I do this..." his fingers delve onto you, preparing you for his cock, "There will still be forty-five seconds left to catch our breath."

R is for Risks (do they like to take risks and experiment?)

Yes! Risks and experimentation are often, the two going hand-in-hand when it comes to him. He's doing it all, discovering new things he likes, trying to beat his last record on how fast, how loudly you climax. To him, that's what it's all about, continuous improvement.

S is for Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?

He can handle a good bit, and he's very good about not cumming unless you tell him to. He can maybe cum three to four times before he starts getting teary. Not that you care.

T is for Toy (do they own toys? Do they use them?)

So. Many. Toys. He owns a few, but always seems to have a new one in progress, many of which are personalized to your bodies, making them even more effective.

U is for Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

If he's badly behaved about anything, it's the teasing. It's so frequent, sometimes bordering on intense, and he's once made a slight moan slip out of you in front of the others. But he payed for it, so it's even now.

V is for Volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?)

He may be a talker, but that doesn't mean he's all that loud. He groans when you grind on him, gasps and moans when you start fucking him. He tries to speak, but it's always interrupted by another noise.

"I-I... I d-don't- AH"

Although... most people walking by can hear him. He thinks he's quieter than he really is.

W is for Wild Card (random dirty headcanon)

He's got fantasies. Lots of them. And he will play them out.

X is for X-Ray (what they’re packing)

...Expect good things.

Y is for Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Tech fucks. No question. Horndog extraordinaire. Worst one out of the batch.

Z is for Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep after)

Not long, considering how much energy you love to drain him of. So long as you're still with him afterwards, he'll be out like a light in a few minutes.

[archived-kin]

you are hopelessly in love with one (1) librarian

note from kin: i’m (kinda) back baby!!!!!

i thought i’d start with something for myself to get back into the ~groove~ so i chose lisa since i love her so much

in this one you’re venti’s accompanist bard buddy and play the flute! whether or not you’re a vision-holder isn’t mentioned but i like to imagine that venti gives you an anemo vision after the two of you bond as fellow musicians (though of course you don’t know it’s him who gave you it, you basically just woke up one night after a performance and found it in your pocket)

fandom: genshin impact

character(s): gn!reader, lisa, kaeya, venti, razor

pairing(s): lisa/reader (+ some wholesome best friend venti content)

warning(s): none!

genre: fluff

“She’s so pretty,” You groan into the table. “I’m going to die.”

“You probably shouldn’t,” Kaeya replies through a mouthful of hash brown. “Your bard friends would be rather sad without their favourite Buoyant Balladeer.”

“What difference is it going to make?” You raise your head and stare at him with soulless eyes. “My life has no meaning anyway.”

“Oh, now you’re just being dramatic.” Kaeya slaps your shoulder so hard that you swear you feel your bones dislocate. “Cheer up.”

You groan, but sit up and take the hash brown he offers you anyway. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” He responds, already shoving another one into his mouth and beginning to chew.

You let out a heavy sigh and begin to nibble miserably on your own hash brown. “Sorry about all this. I probably sound like an idiot.”

“Don’t worry about it,” He reaches over and gives your hair a playful ruffle. “And you don’t sound like an idiot. Lisa’s a very beautiful lady, after all.”

You raise your head in a snap, glaring at your friend through narrow eyes. “Hey, watch it.”

“I’m uninterested, not blind. Calm down.” He flicks you in the head with a chuckle. Raising his eyes to the sky, he gives a content sigh, as if the sun that he appears to be staring directly into isn’t burning his eye. “You know, a sky like this really calls for a nice glass of dandelion wine…”

“You have beyond enough problems to deal with right now without becoming a day drinker as well,” You shoot back. “Don’t you still have a report to file about those Treasure Hoarders over in Windrise?”

“Oh, that’s taken care of,” He says dismissively, taking a sip from his cup of water. “All dealt with.”

“Careful, Mr Kaeya,” comes a familiar honey-sweet voice from somewhere behind you, and you immediately tense. “Lying is a sin.”

“Miss Lisa!” laughs your blue-haired companion as the librarian pulls up a seat at your table, leaning forward and resting her chin on a single gloved hand. It’s an innocent motion by all means, but it still makes your heart skip a beat. “So kind of you to join us. What brings you here?”

“I simply saw two familiar faces while out on a stroll,” She smiles, stealing Kaeya’s mug and taking a sip of his Wolfhook juice. “How have we all been doing?”

“I-I’m doing great,” You quickly reply as her eyes land on you, unable to form a more intelligent response under her clear green-eyed gaze.

Much better now that you’re here, you add silently as she turns her attention to Kaeya, sliding his mug back over to him with such ease that you get the impression she does this a lot.

Kaeya himself either hasn’t noticed Lisa stealing his drink or doesn’t care, since he promptly curls his fingers back around the tankard and takes a long drink without any indication that he’s noticed anything out of the norm.

“Craving some wine, but I suppose I’m fine,” He sighs, tilting his head slightly to the side and swirling the contents of his mug around. “[Name] here says I shouldn’t be drinking during daylight.”

“And [Name] is very right,” Lisa shakes her head, the little rose accessory on the end of her hat tinkling with the motion. You can’t help but silently compare the sound to the ringing of heaven’s bells. Curse your stupidly romantic heart. “You drink more than enough in the evenings.”

“Then what of you?” Kaeya counters, smirking playfully. “I know for a fact that you can drink most of Angel’s Share’s patrons under the table within a single night.”

“Perhaps so, but I spend far less nights in front of the bar than you do.”

You stare determinedly down into the bottom of your water tankard as Lisa and Kaeya continue their little back-and-forth, feeling an odd sensation tugging at the pit of your stomach. What is this? Anger? Jealousy?

Tapping your fingers agitatedly on the tabletop, you kick yourself firmly in the shin. You’re being ridiculous. Kaeya knows just how head-over-heels you are for the Witch of Purple Rose, and even if he is a sneaky little snake who swaps around the chess pieces when he thinks you’re not looking, you know that he’d never do something like… that to you. Besides, you know full well that, even if they’re close friends, they don’t harbour any romantic feelings for each other.

As the songs say, though, jealousy is a green-eyed demon that will listen to irrationality over reason any day, and so you can’t help but glare subtle holes into the side of Kaeya’s head as he continues to converse with the object of your affections as if you’re not even there.

“... I jest, I jest,” He laughs, waving his hand about as Lisa giggles into her glove. “Anyway, as I was saying to our friend here earlier - the weather’s been beautiful recently, hasn’t it?”

You raise your eyebrows at him, a signal that Kaeya clearly sees and pointedly ignores. The both of you know that the weather was far from what you had been conversing about earlier, but you’re glad that Kaeya isn’t giving you away, at the very least.

“Quite,” Lisa agrees, tossing a lock of hair out of her face in a way that knocks all the breath out of your lungs. “Pleasant weather for a stroll around Starsnatch Cliff, wouldn’t you say, [Name]?”

You jolt in your seat and heat up so abruptly that you wouldn’t be surprised if you started smoking. Kaeya sniggers not-so-subtly into his hand as you hurriedly stutter, “U-uh, yeah, totally!”

“Is that an invitation?” Kaeya raises an eyebrow with a coy smirk, and you’ve never wanted to punch him more than you do at this moment. “I’m sure [Name] would be glad to accompany you.”

“Ah, I couldn't impose myself like that,” Lisa shakes her head, and you want to cry because if only you weren’t such a coward you could tell her that she’d never be imposing on you. “Razor could do with some new scenery for his training. I might as well show him the sights.”

“How is training with your protégé going, then?” Kaeya asks. “He seems to have become quite the loyal little wolf since you first took him under your wing.”

“Oh, he’s an absolute darling,” Lisa says breezily. “He still isn’t very verbal, unfortunately, but he’s learning to communicate like a star. And he’s becoming a dab hand at using his Vision more effectively, too.”

“Sounds like you’re a wonderful teacher, then,” Kaeya compliments, then gives you a side-eyed look. “Wouldn’t you agree, [Name]?”

You nod vigorously. “Absolutely!”

“You flatter me,” Lisa sighs, “But a good teacher is nothing without a bright and willing student.”

Kaeya gives you a subtle dig in the side, and you hurriedly go to reply. “H-hey, give yourself some credit. Razor never would have been able to open up so much without you.”

“You’re too kind, darling.” She gives you a brilliant smile, and you very nearly pass out on the spot, but Kaeya helpfully keeps you conscious by stomping hard on your left foot like the little shit he is. You’ll have to get him back for that later - when your heart rate isn’t so rapid that it feels like you might just ascend to Celestia any minute now.

Lisa doesn’t stay for long after that, conversing with Kaeya for another five minutes or so while you stew in your own flustered chagrin and silently continue to freak out over just how… perfect she is. It’s honestly ridiculous. How is she even human? How are you worthy of even being in her presence?

“Well,” Kaeya says as Lisa disappears back down the street, presumably to return to her place in the office. “That went well.”

You glare at him. “You think?”

“You spoke to her, didn’t you?” He counters, grinning cheekily. “That’s a start.”

You open your mouth to give him a grumpy response, then give up and slump forward on the table again. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” He hums, draining the last of his Wolfhook juice and setting the mug down with a sharp thunk. “Anyway, shouldn’t you be preparing for your performance tonight? You should probably go find your partner.”

“Our friend Kaeya is very right,” calls an all-too-familiar figure from atop a nearby roof. “You’re late.”

If it had been any other occasion, you might have jumped, but right now you’re too emotionally exhausted to do anything but let out a long, tired sigh. Ignoring Kaeya’s evil little cackle, you look up and turn to see Venti grinning down at you. “Bard.”

“Accompanist,” He imitates your monotone address, hopping down from the roof and landing softly on the pavement without so much as a click of his shoes. Flicking out his cape, he sets his hands on his hips and offers you his usual cheeky grin. “What’s got you so gloomy?”

“Nothing,” You reply, standing up and dusting off the front of your clothes. “Let’s go.”

Venti doesn’t move. He raises a single, suspiciously perfectly-shaped eyebrow, cocking his head to the side, then looks to Kaeya, who not-so-subtly mouths something at him. You pretend not to notice his obvious hand gestures in the corner of your eye.

“Ah,” Venti says suddenly, his expression taking on a mock-wise air. “Love troubles once again, I presume. Is our dear [Name] still ailed by a paralysing infatuation with one Miss Lisa?”

Kaeya claps enthusiastically, as if he isn’t the one who basically just told Venti the whole story through poorly-done charades. “Correct! I keep telling them to make a move, you know, but they’re too much of a coward.”

You aim a kick at his shin under the table that he dodges easily. “I’m not a coward! I’m just… gauging the territory.”

“You’ve been ‘gauging the territory’ for months now,” Venti whines, holding his fists in front of his chest and giving you the widest-eye look he can muster. “Come on! The eagle that never dives will never catch its prey, after all!”

“Lisa isn’t prey,” You counter. “And I’m not an eagle.”

“Hopeless is what you are,” comments Kaeya, leaning back in his chair and toying absently with a lock of his hair. “Hmmm, why don’t you write her a song? That’s your strong suit, isn’t it?”

“A song?!” You practically combust right there and then - if you’d been a Pyro Vision holder, you have no doubt that you’d have erupted into a column of flame on the spot. “No way!”

“I think that’s a splendid idea!” Venti exclaims, hopping up and down excitedly on the spot, hat threatening to fly off his head all the while. “You write the lyrics and melody, we compose the instrumental part together, and I’ll sing it for you! We’ll be an absolutely unresistable duo!”

“Easy there,” Kaeya teases, holding up a hand. “Our friend here is the one trying to win Lisa’s affections, after all.”

“Then I’ll be sure to try to direct as much of the spotlight to them as possible,” Venti replies, completely unaffected by Kaeya’s attempt to fluster him. You wish you had his coolheadedness sometimes. “C’mon, [Name], what do you say?”

“I said no!” You holler as he jumps energetically up at you like an over-excited puppy. “No way! There’s no way I’m going to just— broadcast my feelings like that!”

“You won’t be,” Kaeya explains, infuriatingly calm in the face of your explosive embarrassment. “Write the song so that only Lisa would be able to understand the true feelings behind it. It shouldn’t be difficult - you’re the master lyricist, after all.”

“Plus you have me to help as well,” Venti chimes in, holding up a single, proud finger. “The Windborne Bard himself - with me by your side, you can’t possibly fail!”

“Look—” You sink back into your seat and hunch forward, burying your face into your hands. A moment later, you raise your head again to see Venti giving you a concerned look. “I appreciate it, I really do, but… I can’t.”

“Of course you can,” Kaeya says unhelpfully, giving you a hearty slap on the back that is also unhelpful in every way. “You’ve performed all over Teyvat - this would be a small feat in comparison.”

“You aren’t helping, Master Kaeya,” Venti says, not-so-subtly elbowing Kaeya in the side. “We need to be cautious here. Like coaxing a young hatchling to fly the nest… we must take baby steps.”

“No baby steps!” You protest, leaning away as he takes a threatening step closer. “No steps at all!”

“Surely writing a subtle confessional song would be much easier than playing an intricate ballad in front of some of the most influential figures of Liyue?” Kaeya doesn’t show any signs of relenting. “Archons above, [Name], it seems that you’ve channelled all of your courage to entirely the wrong places.”

You drop your head into your hands again and glare at him through the cracks between your fingers. “Kaeya, I’d die for you any day, but for the love of the Archons, please shut up.”

He shrugs and obligingly places his finger over his lips, but you can clearly see him hiding a laugh behind it.

Venti hums, leaning over and giving your shoulder a comforting rub as you sigh miserably into your hands. “Hey, relax. I’m not going to drag you out on stage and force you to confess in song, much as I’m tempted to. If you don’t want to do it, we don’t have to.”

You ignore that middle part and choose to focus on Venti’s earnest attempt at consolation. “...thanks.”

“No need to thank me!” He winks playfully and gives your knees a firm pat. “Now come on! Confession or not, we still have a performance to practise for!”

You sigh and smile. “...sure.”

Leaving Kaeya to pay the lunch bill in retaliation for his teasing, you and Venti head off to your usual practice spot in the gardens outside the Cathedral. There’s some debate over who gets to wear the ‘Star of the Show’ Windwheel Aster pin today, but Venti relents quickly and gives you an easy win. You’re pretty sure it’s out of pity for your romantic plight, but you don’t care. The pin looks a lot nicer fastened on the lapel of your coat, anyway - the colour doesn’t match Venti’s cloak at all.

“So what’s the quota for tonight?” Venti asks, giving his lyre an absent-minded strum. “Celestial Destiny on repeat once more, I presume.”

“Shut up,” You groan, flipping open the latches of your instrument case and carefully lifting out your flute. “I’ve just been… lacking inspiration.”

“What you’ve been lacking is emotional fulfilment,” Venti sighs, reaching over and flicking you in the side of the head. “All you do is wander around Mondstadt, practise, and perform. Surely you could compose something flavourful if you had a little more excitement in your life.”

“I have excitement enough just as I am,” You bring your flute to your mouth. “Now shut up and start practising.”

Venti huffs, but begins strumming the opening chords anyway.

The two of you work your way steadily through your usual repertoire for the next hour or so. It goes smoothly as always - you’ve performed these pieces so many times that you could probably play them in your sleep - but you can’t help but feel like something is missing throughout the entire practice. Venti seems to be fully aware of it as well - rather than closing his eyes and swaying along to the music like usual, he just keeps glancing at you when he thinks you aren’t looking, wearing that frown that says ‘I know exactly what’s going on here but I don’t know if I should bring it up’.

Finally, he has enough, abruptly stopping his strumming in the middle of Early Dawn and setting his lyre down on the bench with a huff. “Alright, that’s it!”

You lower your flute and stare at him blankly as he stands and turns to glare at you, hands set firmly on his hips like a scolding parent. “You’re far too dismal! What happened to the Buoyant Balladeer? There’s no breeze in your playing at all!”

“I’m sorry if my heart is too heavy to play as light as the wind,” You retort, setting your flute back in its case. “I’m afraid I’m a little preoccupied.”

Venti looks at you with a furrowed brow as you shut the case with a harsh snap. After a moment, his voice much softer, he asks, “Are you alright?”

You hesitate for a moment. “...yes.”

He raises an eyebrow at you and doesn’t say anything else. After a pause, you groan and concede. “Alright, I’m miserable, so what? Let’s just get on with it.”

“We are most certainly not getting on with it,” He shoots back, turning to face you directly and crossing his arms stubbornly across his chest. “I can’t have my dear [Name] walking around with such a heavy heart. Come on, talk to me. What is it that weighs you down so?”

You stare at him for a long moment. He looks back at you almost unblinkingly, and try as you might to turn away and dismiss him again, there’s something about his wide green eyes that just compels you to tell the truth.

“I’m...afraid.” You say quietly. “It’s such a cliche thing to say, but I’ve really never felt this way before. I don’t… I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Venti smiles reassuringly. “There’s nothing wrong with that. First loves are always scary.”

“I understand that, but…” You bury your face in your hands and groan. “...she’s just so perfect and I’m just so me and it just feels like it’d never work out.”

“Hey, I don’t like that tone!” He scolds lightly, reaching out and flicking you in the cheek. “No talking bad about yourself. Besides, who says it’d never work out? As far as we know, your feelings are mutual.”

“I seriously doubt that,” You sigh, raising your head once again.

Venti raises an eyebrow. “Have you ever asked?”

You’re quiet for another few moments. “...no…”

“Then how do you know what her answer will be?” He asks. “Why assume that it’ll be no?”

You open your mouth to respond, but something suddenly compels you to look over to the town square. Venti goes quiet beside you as you see Lisa, standing beneath the Anemo Archon statue with Razor beside her. She seems to be explaining something to him.

Razor seems to feel your gaze almost as soon as it lands on him and his mentor. His hair bristles, and he abruptly whips around to look at you, but as soon as he sees you, he seems to relax. He lifts a gloved hand to send you a brief wave; you hesitantly return it.

He turns around and tugs on Lisa’s sleeve; she pauses and turns around to follow his pointing finger. You hold your breath as your eyes meet hers.

She raises her hand, and there’s no mistaking it - she’s smiling. An eternity seems to pass within those few seconds of eye contact, and for once your heart isn’t beating in your throat, your breaths aren’t becoming shallow and uneven, you aren’t heating up and boiling over. Instead, you feel a kind of pleasant warmth well up inside you, and you can’t help but beam and wave back.

Lisa looks at you for another moment, smiles once more, then turns around and begins walking away, gently tapping Razor’s shoulder as she goes. He glances back between you and his teacher, then turns around and follows behind her.

A long silence stretches between you and Venti.

You take a deep breath and turn to look at him, and he immediately grins. Somehow, you get the feeling that he knows what you're going to say.

“I need you to help me write a love song.”

[princesscandijane]

Males Reasons to Shave with some tips

A quick guide for those wanting to shave, but cannot seem to find the reasons to.  As well as some tips on how to shave.

Groin

As a favor for someone going down on you. Think about how much you enjoy pulling pubes out of your teeth. I shave my groin every morning, as part of my morning routine. Takes me no less time to shave my face if you do it daily, and I could probably go every other day without notice.

Shaving Groin

From various blogs and articles

Trim—Bust out your trimmer and prep the area by trimming off a good chunk of the bush before you dive in with a razor. This helps ensure that you have total visibility and don’t miss any important areas. Take your time, trimming in small sections starting at the bottom and working your way up to the stomach.

Shave—Generously apply shave cream that you can see through, creating a layer of cream about a millimeter thick on top of the areas where you want to shave. Holding the skin taut with one hand and taking it extra-slow with the other, lightly shave IN THE DIRECTION that the hair grows. Avoid using too much pressure. Rinse the razor with every pass and, when completely done shaving, rinse the body with warm water.

Use a new/sharp razor– DON’T use a dull blade or disposable razor.

Shave Your Balls—The golden rule of ball-shaving is to always hold the skin taut so there are no wrinkles or curves that could catch skin or cause cuts. 

Rinse with Cool Water—Make sure you give your junk a good rinse in cool water after you’re done shaving to soothe the skin and close the pores. This will also help prevent any ingrown hairs or irritation.

Asshole

Dingleberries. If you have ever had to wipe away a dingleberry, that should inspire you to at least trim around the asshole. Full shave can be difficult, but again, how attractive do you find a hairy ass? So consider trimming. I don’t shave completely because I’m worried about nicking something, so I wear a butt plug and shave around it.

Guide to Asshole shaving

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/27dh1x/how_do_i_shave_my_asshole/

Use a moustache/nose hair trimmer to trim off all the excess hair until it's short enough to feel like 2 day old stubble, and then apply good hair conditioner or shaving gel and exfoliate using a loofah or washcloth. The idea is to get all the hair up and on end and stimulate the skin while opening the pores; this avoids ingrown hair and razor burn, which you do not want on your butthole.

Now wash your butthole. Intensely. You do not want to leave any stone unturned, so to speak. Shove your soapy finger up there and really get your sphincters squeaky clean. Don't hurt yourself, just make sure you don't have any icky fecal matter or tiny sharp hair nuggets trapped in the mysterious crevices of your anal caverns.

Use a BRAND NEW 4-blade disposable razor/razor blade cartridge. Don't use a dull blade or you will regret it. Shave with the grain, first, not against it. Rinse after each and every stroke of the blade against your skin. Re-apply conditioner/gel and shave again, this time against the grain and again be sure to rinse after every stroke. Rinse completely and then give it a quick wash with some plain antibacterial soap (kills bacteria on the open skin so should avoid irritation from fecal matter etc that you may have missed during your butthole cleansing).

Now comes the rough part - preventative care. Grab a bottle of witch hazel and spritz it on a washcloth, and pat the fuck out of your butthole with that shit. IT WILL BURN LIKE HELL FOR A SECOND IF YOU DO IT RIGHT. It is not the end of the world. Your butthole is not on fire and you will live to poo another day. After witch hazel-ing the hell out of your ass, lay tummy-down on your bed or on a towel on the floor and either:

When your butthole has been sufficiently aired out and dried, apply non-scented women's roll-on deodorant. This sounds stupid and weird but trust me, it helps. Dove no-scent is the best I've found. This will avoid chafing while walking, irritation as the hair grows back, general stink, and will provide you with some cushioning.

Chest, Back, Arms, Armpits

Do you think any of them are naturally smooth? Once a week I take a nice hot bath, relax with a bowl and shave everything below my neck. Takes me an hour at most.

I think we can acknowledge that a smooth body is sexy regardless of gender.  How weird would it be for there to be hair

Vs. how is this for hair?

Once a week shaving. The more often you keep up with it the easier it is and the less time it takes.

Shaving Chest Tips

various blogs

Before beginning to shave, be sure to trim any long chest hairs to make the process easier.

Apply plenty of shaving gel over your chest and any other areas that you intend to shave.

Begin shaving, using short, gentle, and slow strokes for a clean shave without any nicks or cuts.

After each stroke, rinse the blade to avoid getting it clogged and causing a messy shave.

Once you’ve completed shaving and removed all unwanted hair, rinse your chest thoroughly and apply an aftershave product, such as the one that you use for your face.

Remember to also exfoliate the area twice a week with a quality body scrub to reduce the risk of ingrown hairs.

As the nipple is really sensitive and may not want to risk a nik, I recommend using a tweezer. Before you tweeze, take a hot shower—the heat will open up hair follicles, so it’s easier to grab the root—and pat the skin around your nipples dry. Pull each strand quickly and firmly in the direction your hair grows.

Shaving Armpit

from Men’s Health

Trim Your Armpit Hair First

If you’ve never shaved your underarms before, chances are you’ll need to trim those patches down for the easiest and most comfortable shave . It’ll make less of a mess in the shower as well (because nothing is worse than a clogged drain full of man-hair).

Exfoliate Your Under Arms Before Shaving

Sure, you don’t have to exfoliate, but you should to avoid pesky, painful ingrown hairs. A loofah or exfoliating body scrub will do the trick to remove dead skin cells and bacteria (along with any deodorant gunk) to help you achieve the smoothest shave without razor burn.

Shave Your Armpits Wet in the Shower

You can cut it dry, but Whitely recommends to do it in the shower. Hot water softens the hair and reduces the risk of pulled hair or nicks, he says. Shave towards the end of your time in the shower and use shaving gel for added moisture to prevent irritation.

Shave Slow and With a Good Razor

It's not a race, folks. To avoid razor burn and skin irritation, take it slow with your razor blade to make sure you get the closest shave. Unlike the hair on your face, underarm hair grows in all different directions, so make sure to shave sideways, as well top-to-bottom. Toss your old dull razor, and opt for one with a sharp blade and a pivoting head to move with the curves of your armpits for a more effective, easier shave.

Legs 

First shaved legs feel amazing.  Everyone deserves to know the feeling of freshly shaved legs. Second how are hairy legs, feet, and toes sexy?

Quick guide to shaving legs

Taken from Glamor and Cosmopolitan 

1. Trim

If it's the first time you're removing your leg hair, you might want to carefully trim the area with an electric razor. This will stop your razor clogging up, causing you to miss patches of hair.

2. Soak your skin before shaving

“Hydrating the hairs makes them up to 60 per cent easier to cut”, says Dr Anita Sturnham, Venus Ambassador. “Soak your skin for two to three minutes before shaving.”

Use warm water when you're bent over the bathtub in the middle of winter with goose bumps on your legs, it's tempting to have the shower on boiling hot. But hot water is not your friend when it comes to shaving because it closes your pores. Warm water opens your pores, allowing your hairs to soften (making the whole shaving process a lot smoother).

3. Do not lather your legs with shampoo

Dr Sturnham says using shampoo or body wash as shave prep can, “increase your risk of redness and irritation, and blunt your razor blades.”

4. Don't go ham on the shaving cream

You really only need a thin layer of shaving cream to do the job. Too much will clog up your blades, slowing down your shaving time and making it impossible to see where you already shaved. Of course you don't really need to buy shaving cream in the first place, hair conditioner works just as well (if not better).

5. Always shave against the direction hair growth

To get your closest shave possible, shave against the direction of your hair growth. For the legs, start at the ankle and work your way up towards the knee.If you’re using a good blade, this won’t cause any irritation and will cut the hair right at the root for a longer-lasting shave.

6. Don't apply too much pressure to your razor

Your razor shouldn’t make a dent in your skin in order to work.“ The razor should glide across the skin, not drag”, says Adam Boulding, Venus Scientific Communications. “Remember to use a light touch, exerting as little pressure as possible.”If you need to press your razor firmly to work, it can be a sign your blades need changing.

7. Short strokes

If you're shaving from your ankle to your knee in one long stroke, you are guaranteed to have missed hairs. It's just impossible for your razor to keep contact with every single hair for that long. That's why you need to shave with short strokes. Short strokes = less missed hairs.

8. Change your razor blades regularly

A blunt blade not only increases friction against the skin, but also the likelihood of missed hairs. There are many factors that can impact blade life, including your hair type, how much of your body you’re shaving and how you store your razor.  Roughly every ten shaves. If you shave daily then about every 1-2 weeks, if you shave 2-3 times a day then every 3-4 weeks. You should also change your blades whenever you start to feel tugging or pulling during your shave.

9. Don't use razors with less than four blades

The number of blades you use is actually super important. The less blades you have, the higher the chance of cuts and nicks.

“A razor with more blades means that the pressure is distributed across more evenly”, says Boulding. “Therefore less pressure is applied to any one spot of skin during the shave, reducing the probability of cuts.”

10. Use a manoeuvrable razor head

The second thing to look for in terms of razor quality is the manoeuvrability of the razor head. When it comes to the backs of knees and areas like ankles, where the bone is close to the skin surface, you need a razor that moves with the curves of your skin to glide over trickier areas. A stagnant blade will only increase the chance of missed hairs or cuts.

11. Always bend a knee

Knees are notoriously the most tricky spot to shave. The solution? Sarah says to slightly bend the knee.

“This will pull the skin tight before shaving, as folded skin is difficult to shave.”

Try propping your leg up on the side of the bath.

12. Don't forget your aftercare

If you suffer from red bumps after shaving, rinsing properly is a must post-shave. If you can bare cold water, this is even better to ensure the pores are closed.

Sarah also recommends leaving the skin to rest for at least 30 minutes before applying lotions or moisturisers, to avoid inflammation.

“If you must moisturise immediately following shaving, select a cream formula rather than a lotion, and avoid exfoliating moisturisers that may contain alpha hydroxy acids,” she adds. If not, it will sting!

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION EPISODE SEVEN THOUGHTS

GIF NOT MINE

SPOILERS AHEAD YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL MORE LIKE BREAKING MY BRAIN AND HEART

wanda’s mood | as she talks to the camera, she treats her expanding the false world she’s created to having a bad night out. we’re seeing how tired she is from expanding westview - it damn near drained her it seems. the last episode was a lot to take in, keeping up with her torn emotions with pietro, her relationship with vision crumbling, worrying about her kids, expanding the hex — it’s enough to fry out your nerves. wanda also categorizes what happened in the last episode as reckless and decides to stay in to punish herself. even her kids notice that she’s out of it because she doesn’t stop them from fighting and doesn’t say a word as she heads to the kitchen. she’s drained, she’s tired - she doesn’t want to deal with anything today. wanda’s not being the doting mom she’s been since the birth of the twins as when billy talks about his head being too noisy, she ignores his complaints and lounges in bed a little longer. she’s drained and is acting out of character throughout the whole episode.

wanda’s reality is starting to break | right off the bat, we see how the reality in westview is going haywire. the boys mention their game freaking out. it switches to games from different eras. then we see it with wanda’s milk - switching from black and white to color and even changing shape to fit the style of a past era like 50s with the milk being in glass bottle or a milk carton with the ‘missing’ label on the side. we’ve seen the trailer/promo footage of different objects/furniture in the house glitching in this same manner and it seems that wanda’s power is not strong enough to keep everything together - physically or mentally so it seems in this episode.

“thanks for tuning in to W.N.D.A.” | as wanda is in the kitchen making herself some cereal, you can hear the tv from the living room say this. this sets up the opening credits for the show as everything is about wanda. if you turn on the subtitles, you can read exactly what the anchor is saying on the television. he says “not a thing weighing heavily on your conscience. i hope your little ghosts arrived home safe last night. it’s always such a treat to see those creepy kiddos out and about once a year.” it seems as though it’s wanda’s mind we’re hearing. nothing’s weighing heavily on her conscience - kinda is with expanding the hex. the little ghosts is in reference to all the kids that we finally saw come out for halloween in westview. calling them creepy kiddos could mean nothing but i thought about tommy and billy? since the two gained their abilities on halloween and weren’t doing much to conceal their powers (at least tommy wasn’t). i also say it’s wanda’s mind we’re gaining insight to cause when it goes on to the bit about giving tips about resisting temptation of the leftover candy or just eating it all - wanda is skeptical of what’s happening with the milk but still takes a big spoonful of cereal.

opening credits | we don’t have some super catchy lyrics this time around for the opening credits of the show - making me think that this is a nod to the office. but we do get ‘wanda’ splattered in every frame of the credits. the one that stands out to me is the ‘i know what u are doing wanda’ since everything else it seems to be replacing random words on signs like restaurants and other shops. comes off as a tad bit scary/creepy since it’s written with cut out letters from different new articles/magazines. could be a hint to vision knowing that it is all wanda’s doing. or as we later find out, it can be a set up to agnes’ reveal since she plays a more sinister role in all of this. this is the first we’re seeing any sort of credits in the opening sequence. created by wanda maximoff - again driving home the fact that the hex and everything we’ve seen so far has all been wanda’s creation or so we’re forced to believe...

SWORD retreat | we learn that the broadcast has been taken down - all they get is dead air supposedly. maybe that’s just a result of wanda’s expansion of the hex but i think it’s too weak given how har out they are and since they are farther from wanda as she doesn’t live right at the edge of town. we also learn that haydick hayward is planning to launch a missile or some kind of powerful weapon on/in to the hex to stop wanda. let’s hope it fails or if it goes through, wanda can point the missile/weapon back at SWORD and let it go.

“if he doesn’t wanna be here, there’s nothing i can do about it.” | wanda’s comment about vision not being home and response to billy asking if they should go looking for him. this clearly speaks to wanda not having any control over vision anymore. this is the first time we’ve seen the couple apart for the entirety of the episode. he’s gained enough sentience within the hex to not be controlled by wanda as other residents are. she knows she can’t rewrite or edit the scene for him to suddenly come through the door and have everyone be a happy family.

“he is not your uncle.” | wanda confirms to us that the pietro we’ve seen so far is a stranger and not some multiverse version of her dead brother. this to me also shoots down the theory of the multiverse existing at this point and wanda being responsible for it even though evan peters does play pietro in the x-men universe. i think it was a wink to fans about marvel gaining rights to the x-men franchise. i could be wrong but until then, ‘uncle p’ is sus to me.

“i don’t have all the answers” | wanda going on about how despite being their mother, she doesn’t have all the answers. this is the third time wanda’s been asked about the truth and she doesn’t have an answer. first with vision when he asks how all this happened. second with ‘pietro’ also asking how she created westview. now, it’s the twins seeking answers about their not-uncle if she’s claiming he’s an imposter and a liar. if anything, wanda has been consistent in this claim of not knowing anything. she knows she created westview but she doesn’t know how it got to be this way. i still believe she was offered something or was taken advantage of from the get go by someone else to get to her and observe how powerful she is. i personally love the twins’ reaction to her speaking on not having all the answers. hello yes i love them.

hayward’s interest in vision | we learn that project cataract is/was hayward’s plan to bring vision back to life. this man was trying to make vision into a weapon for SWORD and that’s why he’s so focused on vision inside the hex. wanda somehow brought him back to life despite hayward’s various attempts. i hate this man and i’m sorry but i hope monica and/or wanda beat the shit out of him. obviously, hayward was using SWORD’s resources to try and bring vision back to life but it’s a question of whether or not other people within SWORD knew this was happening and what the intentions were. because we also have monica’s contact be another agent working in SWORD. so why do i get the feeling that we’re gonna be dealing with a SHIELD 2.0 in which bad guys operate within the agency and it’s going to eventually fall like 2014?

“do you think maybe this is what you deserve?” | the interviewer asking wanda this question after we see her house starting to glitch like there’s no tomorrow. while later we do find out agnes is behind the mic, it made me think that this was mephisto finally coming out a bit since the question is very pointed at wanda. the interviewer wants to see wanda suffer because why would anyone ask such a thing let alone say that? they’re taking joy in wanda losing touch with her reality. this is the lowest we’ve seen wanda throughout the series. she’s usually put together - has a slight moment of crisis - but gets back on her feet for tomorrow to enjoy her life with her family. slowly it’s been building up to this point in which wanda just...crashes. she’s lost control in this reality so for the interviewer to pose that question, it’s a signal that someone else is in charge and going to come for wanda at her weakest.

the nexus commercial | this commercial is definitely referencing wanda during infinity war/endgame. the world goes on without you? could be talking about how the world keeps spinning after wanda lost the only family she had left or how everyone moved on in endgame despite losing the person she wanted to spend her life with. wanting to be left alone? all wanda wanted was to be with vision and now to be left alone as she lives out her life with vision in westview. i know the word nexus itself has a double meaning in marvel. nexus was first name dropped in aou, with it being the center of the internet located in oslo. in the comics, i know wanda is referred to as a nexus being in which this could definitely set up the multiverse as the commercial does state that the medication ‘anchors you back to your reality. or the reality of your choice.’ i’m guessing this is on purpose since we’re conditioned to see everything marvel puts out or puts emphasis on to have a double meaning. maybe wanda discovering that she is a nexus being in multiverse of madness could be what the side effects are talking about. if she’s confirmed to be this being, she’d feel a lot of feelings, confront her truth (maybe her role in westview and hopefully her trauma), seizing her destiny (taking control of her life and bigger role in the world), and possibly more depression (i don’t think she needs more of it but with her, it’s almost inevitable especially given where these next two weeks might be heading). given that it does hold two meanings for marvel, it could explain the scenes we’ve seen in promo footage of her time in sokovia with the mind stone. we were told that the show would explore more of wanda’s past from aou so maybe it is going to give nexus a double meaning in the mcu: the largest internet hub and wanda’s confirmation as a nexus being.

the twins with agnes | this scene had me anxious. billy commenting about it being quiet heavily hinted at how agnes isn’t like anyone else in westview. again, we’ve never seen her husband ralph and we still don’t see him in this episode. we get another glimpse of señor scratchy with billy holding him but that’s about it. the house is also a big contrast to wanda’s house and westview’s scenery overall. there’s usually a lot of light and warmth in westview but agnes’ interior is toned down and has darker tones throughout our time in it. clearly, a set up for the big reveal that everyone’s been echoing since the show started. this is also the last time we see the twins in the episode.

monica | after the SWORD rover failed to get through, monica goes right in and clearly her passing through a third time has a permanent effect. she’s finally got her powers and is more badass than before. i loved how we got bits and pieces from her, maria, carol and fury in captain marvel. monica has been one of the best characters in this series and i can’t wait to see what happens next with her.

it’s all about vision | monica’s explanation to wanda about hayward. i said this before about the end credits in the show always zooming in on vision’s eye to segway into the crystal sequence. we’ve learned that hayward was trying to bring vision back and somehow wanda managed to do this once she took his body. i wouldn’t be surprised if by the end of the season we see vision being the key to saving everyone in westview since hayward just wants what he believes is his and is willing to blow up a whole town to get it or cover his tracks. while this whole series has been focusing on wanda, this all boils down to vision.

agatha all along | of course the big reveal is agnes being agatha harkness and the mastermind behind a lot of the weird occurrences in westview. what is interesting is that she’s choosing to reveal herself to wanda in this way. it doesn’t seem like it was her plan to do it at the time she did but seeing that monica could’ve swayed wanda to go off script in agatha’s plans, better sooner than later. i think señor scratchy is none other than mephisto and maybe in the next episode we’ll see the other big bad reveal himself to wanda and us. when’s that bop dropping on spotify

snooper’s gonna snoop | finally, we get a post credits scene with uncle p and monica. we’ve learned that agatha was behind the ‘recasting’ of pietro but who is he?! he could be a multiverse!quicksilver we’ve never seen before - which could explain his skewed memories with wanda. right when the camera comes to view with monica, it cuts to the credits. i believe that maybe this pietro shapeshifts into who he really is - who this might be? i don’t think mephisto but possibly agatha’s son nicholas scratch since he seems to be an accomplice of hers?

ugh god so much to unpack and we have another two episodes before shit really hits the fan.

[heffrondriving]

c o n s u m e . | big time rush

SUMMARY: ❝ but maybe...just maybe, it’s both their faults, for falling in love under a city of stars too fast and thinking they’ll end up in heaven, just because they believed in it. ❞ (3,116 words // Angst & Tragedy, Drama, Mystery, Kendall/James)

❝ o v e r t u r e – i’ve been drowning for a minute ; your body keeps pulling me in . ❞

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Standstills and pouring rain, murky puddles the colour of dishwater grey, reflecting the warm autumn riot blazing in James’ heavy-lidded eyes. When he talks, it’s like he’s got a mouth full of blood clots; and when Kendall listens, it’s like he’s got ears full of cotton and a chemical-hazed brain, soaking up every drop of the last storm in the weeping city of angels.

There’s a pulled hush in a crowd that doesn’t exist, hurricane tantrums within hesitant full-stops that punctuate their bleak communication. Simple words with complicated chapters. Volumes upon volumes, lifetimes upon lifetimes, laughter once loving, all boiled down to the bitterest small talk.

“How bad is it now?”

“Look at me, and actually look. What do you think?”

“Well...I um, I think you’re looking—”

“Absolutely fucking awful, and feeling a billion times worse. But yeah, I’ll be fine, thanks for asking.”

“I don’t...I didn’t, just what—what do you want me to do?”

“Nothing you can do.”

“I don’t care. There has to be something. I swear, I’ll do everything. Anything for you, forever. You know that, don’t you, Kendall?”

It doesn’t matter if I do. They both know it. All too well? But if they say it out loud, they’ll probably just lose it in this goddamned tempest they’re stupidly drowning themselves in. Better never than later?

Never better.

A calculated pause from Kendall.

“It’s kinda too late for doing anything now, isn’t it?”

“No, no it’s not?” James demands. Loud-hearted and full of spirit, he has never quite learned the value of subtlety when it comes to conversations stacked in question marks. “You’ve had like, what?—a few doctor’s appointments—ones you didn’t even bother attending anymore after only going twice! And what about that hell-all pricey friggin’ pills you stupidly flushed down the toilet last week ‘cause it was making you throw up and stuff, even after Logan told you it was a bad idea—and, and that dealing with the side effects is miles better than the sickness? Like, duh! I’m stupider than a bag of crushed rocks and even I know that! So nothing’s too late yet. You think it’s only that way just ‘cause you want it to be—just ‘cause you think it’s so much easier to just give up!”

Kendall doesn’t mention that having to bare himself open for pity-eyed medical professionals day in, day out, makes him wanna rather curl up in his closet and die a slow agonising death, than have to put up with another disgustingly-chirpy ‘how-are-we-feeling-today-Mr.-Knight?’. Least of all for whatever rest of his screwed-over life that fate decides to tauntingly dangle in front his wilting face.

He also notices that James very conveniently leaves out the part about the coughed blood and Logan’s panicked tears and a half-eaten overdose flushed down along with his hell-all pricey friggin’ pills, clogging their drains so that it wouldn’t clog up his barely-functioning airways. Or even clog up the excruciating hammering in his chest and stop it altogether.

But Kendall doesn’t mention that either.

“I’m not giving up, I’m moving on. Which is something you can never seem to do, so I don’t expect you to understand, but just...” His rasped apathy almost breaks, but he clenches his fists and swallows it back. It lodges beneath his adam’s apple instead. “Don’t...don’t try to change my mind about it.”

“Uhh, how couldn’t I, when you’re not even thinking straight right now?” scoffs James, breaking and breaking and never holding back. “Like, I’m still here, right? We all are, and we’re all here for you, a-and we wanna help—or, god, even just need you to listen to us for once!—but nooo, ‘cause you—you—you just keep shutting us out, every single damn time!”

“I don’t get how you’re mad at me. I can’t control this.”

“No one’s asking you to. And I’m not mad at you, I’m just...really frustrated at myself, here. I don’t know what I did wrong for you to just, wanna keep your distance from me all of a sudden...I don’t even know what to do with you anymore, and you’re not telling me anything...so if anything, you’re the one who’s mad at me and I don���t damn well know why!”

“Oh, so it’s all about you now?”

It’s a deliberate barb, holding no weight to it but the one pressing down on Kendall’s conscience. He can tell it stings—maybe even hooks its barbed edges to the victimised ego and leaves a thousand tiny cuts, but James doesn’t flinch. Not that he doesn’t want to. But he refuses the weakness, like he’s used to.

So instead, he simply crosses his arms and tilts his clenched jaws higher, making Kendall’s shrinking figure feel smothered, ever closer and closer to completely vanishing in the rain.

Pride cometh before the fall...

“Don’t change the subject.” James shakes his head, and his matted hair splashes tear-shaped droplets all over Kendall’s cheeks. “Like yeah, it fucking sucks right now—I get that, I do. And if you think I don’t, then talk to me. Make me understand. Just don’t do...this. This whole martyr act. Like, I know you’re so used to handling shit on your own, but you don’t have to be alone for this, Ken.”

“Don’t I?”

“We’re never gonna let that happen. Ever. And okay, I know what you’re also gonna say, but let me beat you to the punch and tell you that you’re wrong. ‘Cause newsflash, you don’t deserve this, and you don’t deserve to suffer—”

“Maybe, but I still don’t wanna be a b—”

“And no, of freaking course you’re not being a burden to us at all!” insists James. “We want the best for you, and we—I just...I wish you could, just try a little harder, even if it’s not gonna be easy—or, just at least see that you could still have the whole world ahead of you.”

“Ha, what world, Jay?” A mirthless peal escapes Kendall. “The world that’s literally chewing me up and spitting me out? The world that we couldn’t even survive hand in hand? The world that’s changed me into this...this damned monster?”

“Oh, please. You’re not a monster. Maybe you’re...you’re just looking for an excuse to act like one...because this? This isn’t you anymore! I mean, you used to be so much more, so ready to fight for all of us and for everything and for yourself, always with an amazing plan, always so amazing, so...why do this? Why beat yourself up some more when you’re already getting beaten down? Why stop now?!”

James reaches forward and tries to intertwine his steady fingers with Kendall’s trembling ones, but the unforgiving boy stiffens and white-knuckles it, until his grasp desperately locks around Kendall’s bony wrists instead.

“After all that we’ve been through together...” James’ anger dulls down into a gentler plea, “why just give up—move on? Just like that? Why?”

“Why not?” Pretty cheap for a final verdict, but Kendall’s too tired to argue about it. He’s always too tired to do anything much, these days. “‘Cause, tell me. If you can do everything, then what’s your amazing plan now?”

Even the retired mastermind himself has been long-pressed to admit that their past ‘amazing plans’ have hardly ever worked before. It was always either by pure dumb luck or feverish youth’s hope, and they certainly couldn’t excuse all their big time troublemaking for plain youngblood foolishness now.

And who’s left to listen to all the cheap-thrill apologies, anyway?

There’s nothing that hasn’t been heard before. One’s perfect at playing the long game, and the other’s perfect at playing the victim; a flawless match ignited underwater. Still deceiving enough to keep up appearances together, and elusive enough to keep pretending separately, so they’ve both long since learned to be kind, simply to beget false kindness. Learned to live it out together, and to love in past and future tense but never present, and to lie until it hurts. Simply to be patient—simply to be painstakingly cruel.

There’s no cruelty between them now. Only wavering breaths begging for a loveless answer.

“Come on, don’t be like that. Please. I’m just trying to help.”

“Yeah. Right. So like I said. What’s the plan?”

James smiles at this, his curled mouth stained with iron-red, the kind of smile that doesn’t quite reach Kendall’s ironic gaze. The kind of smile stained with all of that reckless passion that after all this time—and despite himself—the younger boy still finds his slowing pulse dancing alongside to; never hesitating, never out of rhythm, always so charmingly enthralling.

Kendall wonders how Gustavo Rocque could have been so stupidly blind, during their first encounters with him in that now-defunct auditorium back in their hometown. Or maybe just plain stupid. Because whatever the crankhead of a music producer thinks of him, Kendall isn’t the one with the fire.

He never was, and never will be.

He’s just burned out and boring, with a dead fucking dad to follow his footsteps to and enough scraggly flannel layers to muffle out his screaming and a whole stuffed beanie-full of unresolved anger issues that masquerade as hot-blooded emotion, sometimes. Reckless without reason.

Reckless not because he wants to live his life, but because he doesn’t want to.

So Kendall still wonders—and he will never stop wondering—how the hell did Gustavo Rocque ever look past someone as brilliant as James Diamond...and how could their brilliant best friend ever have been so crazy, to take one too many risky chances just to stoke out all his elegant fire with a hopeless cause like him?

Kendall doesn’t let the silence hang around long enough to find out.

“Well? I don’t have all day, Diamond. You realise I’d be lucky enough to even make it through this one. Or unlucky. So?”

“Seriously?” A patronising sigh from James, gilded pupils impatiently quirking upwards. “I’m not messing around, Kendall.”

“And neither am I. This is literally a matter of life and death, isn’t it? And it’s my life and death too, how fun. ‘Cause life’s too short, and adventure is always out there, and orange chickens lay the best eggs for delicious sopa de ajo, and blah blah bloop, some other tooth-achingly positive life advice that Carlos loves wearing me the hell out with, all that fun stuff—fun, yeah...we’re just having fun, right?”

“What the hell are you—”

“I mean, Carlitos does also tell me a lot, like waaay too much, that laughter is the best medicine.” Kendall’s great at exhaustively overlapping rambles, just as much as he is with spouting out flowery speeches and motivational bullshittery. He’s great at saying anything and everything, just to mean nothing at all. “So I would try to give you my bestest one right now, but I’d probably risk running another thousand-dollar heart attack in the middle of the street, so here. Ha-ha. Hah. Am I cured now?”

“Stop—just stop it already! I know what you’re doing. You’re just trying to deflect again, and it’s honestly more annoying than amusing!”

“Oh. Whoops, I guess...and don’t worry, next time I’ll try to make sure that my pathetic little problems, and coping strategies to a horrible untimely sickness that’s destroying me from the inside out, wouldn’t inconvenience you too much.”

“You know what? Fine, whatever—have it your way, Knight!” James crushes Kendall’s radial pulse in irked surrender. “I’ll play along with this dumb petty bitching, if that’s what you want. And hey, you said you wanted a plan? Okay, well, maybe you can...or we...I don’t, maybe I could still—”

“Still what?” Kendall’s icy accusation collides with James’ stalling, and for a moment, his voice almost sounds normal again. Almost sounds alive, the first time in a long while. Like the very person James adores and once so looked up to; but his childhood champion’s looking down on him now.

“Still try to save me when I’m clearly beyond saving? Still try to convince me that all this misery’s worth it to stick around for, for hospital gowns and tasteless food and—and stuck in jack shit about nothing, while I get to watch you guys watch me waste away and then tell me it’s all gonna be okay? Or, or maybe even better!—still fuck it up worse than you already have and then make a whole act of sobbing over my cold body, just so you could finally be the fucking hero in the end?”

Grimaces crestfallen by the pelting deluge, held up only through gritted teeth from the perfect actor. Kind eyes once the shade of a blustering newborn spring, now cracked apart with a thousand droughts. James winces back and releases Kendall’s arms, but the warmth from his hold lingers in Kendall’s clammy flesh.

He’s too out of breath to say anything about it, and James is too out of it to say anything at all.

A violent quiet takes over. Their shared doubts storm back in, melancholia obscured by the howling wind, betrayed self-accusations breezing against each other’s direction.

Maybe it was James’ fault, after all. Always his, always losing, always his loss. The one chance he gets to elevate himself and float above his wonderfully starry dream, and now he’s being asked to wake the hell up, and waking up with tortured veins and brimstone bones. And he doesn’t really have a home to return to, nowhere else to belong but going under.

Or maybe it was Kendall’s fault. Lost boy losing in a nightmare town, something’s always got to give. Never here nor there, corrupting Wonderlands and Neverwheres, never resting and raising all kinds of hell, and paying just as much—if not more—for it. Most times he’d rather be back home where he doesn’t belong, at least he’ll go under himself.

But maybe...just maybe, it’s both their faults, for falling in love under a city of stars too fast and thinking they’ll end up in heaven, just because they believed in it.

Falling out, falling apart, fallen faithless. What’s the difference?

“Kendall...are you okay? You don’t look...sorry, I didn’t, I just meant—”

“Yeah, no. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“I didn’t mean to...I just didn’t know this would happen, you...I—I didn’t know you would...”

“I didn’t mean to...I just didn’t know this would happen, you...I—I didn’t know you would...”

“I know you didn’t. But I am. And here we are all over again.”

Try again? Try again and again and again and...James is deathly tired. Kendall’s tiredly dead. Both are badly hurting with every backwards baby step, left completely helpless in an everlasting game between blood diamonds and ragdoll knights, and neither one wants to make the next stalemate-stricken move anymore.

Only the final one.

“So...where do we go from here?”

“Everywhere. Nowhere. I don’t really care. I’m done taking the lead.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“Yeah, well, we never asked for this...” whispers the tongue drier than cotton, “but whatever happens to me...it’s always going to be you, isn’t it?”

This provokes another smirk. Still scarlet-stained and defeated and hollow, but now a real one, perhaps. Like a flicker of flame licking at chest scars, to keep another tattered heart beating for just a few minutes more.

“You wouldn’t dare ask for anyone else.”

And why should he? Shouldn’t he? Kendall doesn’t care. No, wait, he doesn’t not care, he just doesn’t know. What does he not not know? He couldn’t think—doesn’t want to think—anymore. His stuffy head seems to only be getting heavier and heavier, like drowned bandages sopping up a critical wound. His skin has always been pale and limp as a cloth child’s, but the stitches are quickly coming undone and it feels like it’s shedding off, and something in the water must have gotten in his scorched eyes because the unlit streetlights are too bright and everything’s starting to melt away...

With wandered thoughts dripping in headache lullabies and overmedication, Kendall struggles to peer through the smoggy shower, listening in to a bleak communication that’s quickly leaving him behind. James’ bruise-bloomed lips still appear to be moving—but everything else is getting completely lost to the tempest. The goddamned tempest.

God damn them both back to hell, but maybe there’s still one last chance to say...

I’m so sorry.

“Please...Kenny, please, stay with me...”

It doesn’t matter anymore. They both know. All too fucking well. But better, never, and far too late. Better never.

“After all this time, I—”

The time is up. The game is over. The angels have won. The standstill suddenly turns into a sickening spin, replaced by blurry blighted gazes and screaming crowds, and comatose choking all the air out of silently-pleading lungs, and golden leaves falling from James’ winter-infected eyes; never once looking back as Kendall falls with it.

Too little, too loveless, too late...

Knuckles road-rash red, boiled warmth touching broken wrists, fumbling hand in hand—is it just the rain, or is that sleepwalker’s regret Kendall’s clouded vision sees, snuffing out James Diamond’s elegant fire and streaking cold water down his perfect face?

His perfectly beautiful face...such a shame I had to go and ruin him like that.

Freezing water is washing over Kendall’s numb face too, sinking beneath it completely, even, but he can’t be kept awake by the diluted hope as easily. Instead, he’s simply thankful that there’s nothing left in him to be ruined anymore.

Shameless, and senseless, and still without reason, he finally smiles back at the man he trusts with his entire life and soul.

The last time in a long while.

What’s done is done, and what’s gone is gone. After all this time, I love you still. And because of that, I’m giving you up, so you can move on. You’ve already got the whole world ahead of you, and now that I’m going—now that I’m gone—the rest of mine is yours. Anything for you, forever.

You know that, don’t you, James?

Kendall Knight cannot keep his frail eyelids open long enough to find out.

The curtain call of the last Los Angeles storm has since-fluttered away by the time the ambulance arrives, royal horizons faded and skies morosely cleared. Only leaving in its cataclysmic wake a shivering boy built of blood clots and black holes, as he desperately embraces a ragged body submerged in dishwater grey. Who’s left to weep for their lost cause now?

Quiet, quiet, quieter...

(a/n: Thanks for reading!! (●´∪`●)ゞ I'm not the best writer and this is my first foray into this ship so idk if I did this any justice ;-; Also I need to stop being so incredibly mean to Kendall in my fics,, istg he’s my fave BTR boy, I’m just an angsty pizza shit who likes ~overprojecting~ But this was inspired by the song Monster by Paramore and a ‘sudden collapse’ prompt (among many other angst ones), and it's kind of the prelude to a future series (that's prob gonna be pure Kames melodrama, rip) I’m lowkey planning??? The whole series is also going to be mainly inspired and titled after Chase Atlantic lyrics. okay the sun's out i should really get some sleep now hrgrhrj-)

[kyanmapng]

thoughts on ep 15 (true beauty)

almost the last rant for this hell of a drama, bear with me

first of all, the friends: so we have this gang of people who have time on their hands and just want to drink, but we bring a guy that first of all crushes on her for 3 years but is also working to be a nanny for her drunk ass? excuse me? what are u there for? and guess we broke up Sua and Taehoon for some “realism” and brought people in the most obvious ships together

second of all, THE GIFT AND BLESSING han seojun, so he stifled his feelings for Jug for 3 years yeah? but yet has to be the babysitter for her every time and she never once looked at him as a guy in 3 YEARS??? he has to be so worked up over her trying to set him up with someone else to finally get it through her head and she still doubts it??? also the whole reaction to his confession was the coldest thing i have ever seen, he asked for 3 dates after everything so he could have a sliver of chance and he doesn’t get that either, so no moving on but also no moving forward? he asks for a day where she thinks of him and again, Suho miraculously pops out of nowhere acting like he didn’t ghost her 

also we get no backstory to Seojun becoming an idol? he has a group and that is shown through him waiting like a puppy for the blandest text message from Jug? he serves as the “other” guy again, no time for only him and telling his story or anything... he finally gets his feelings to be known and he seems so happy for like a second and BAAM here’s Suho ... cool the writers just came back to the “love triangle” AGAIN

but to say something cute because Seojun deserves it - the little note he wrote for the date? precious, him acting like he doesn’t know how to skate? just to be annoying teasing baby, I LOVE and him pulling the chair for her and smiling like an idiot (just for her to not see it as usual), and him having to babysit her drunk ass while she tortures baby octopus and baby Seojun whose soul left his body for a solid sec there ... as usual Seojun loving hours (+ bonus: him being super offended Suho didn’t call him when he came back, bestie was hurt hurt with that move, shame on you Suho)

and Seojun annihilating the annoying brat of an idol was *chef’s kiss* 

third of all, Jug, they really made her cry over Suho in a place where only she and Seojun ever went (few times at that)... that was Suho-free zone okay? why does Seojun have to suffer spicy food (AGAIN!!) AND Suho talk... I’m tired of this we’ve seen this so many times just packaged differently in so many previous eps, the writers don’t have a single original idea going on

another thing that bugged me, except for Jug being hung up on Suho for 3 YEARS and all that, is the fact that her older sis is getting married and it’s a big step in her life? but Jug doesn’t give a damn. she goes to convenience story to buy a snack while the whole family helps the teacher to propose?? i’m sorry but what? and that she effectively ruins it after but doesn’t care at all... I know her sis isn’t big on it, but the teacher cares and put so much into it, it feels so SO rude

fourth of all, Lee Suho, my man... what is this again. so we start of with Suho being a meanie and kinda stalker-ish, then we show his trauma, then him getting over it and being lovey dovey and sweet just to throw all that into the drain again and make him level up his stalker game, he comes back after breaking up with Jug and acts like she is waiting for him like a nun (which sadly she is because writers couldn’t do realism even if they tried) and is following her while she tells him to stop multiple times? then waits at her house? finds out about her work and show up there as well?? i’m sorry??? the fact that they tried to sell this as romantic moves makes me feel icky... he still has her name as “girlfriend” and not once did he try to talk to her about the situation, he just tries to act like nothing ever happened, the writers are doing him dirty again after finally being on the right track... webtoon Suho would never do this ever 

and the writers are putting the only good thing that happened - the revival of SuSeo besties - at risk for this stupid love triangle that doesn’t even work

Chorong being the wingman and helping Seojun with his “confession”, Taehoon and Chorong are the only ones with rights in the entire friend group 

also that Gowoon/Jug’s bro moment? what are we doing there exactly? they just can’t let anyone go of their one-sided crushes in this drama huh

Soojin teaser or whatever it was supposed to be, felt slightly pointless and I don’t know if I want to know where they plan to stick that plot line in this mess and zero time

the preview disaster, we all know who is ends up with, we can all see where this is going, even if (and i doubt it with all my heart) they pulled the she will stay single instead it would be still as bad, Seojun saying they are dating is kind of true thanks to his “wish” for 3 dates but at the same time, he had to push her to do anything at all so it’s not true dating, I believe he is asking for a reaction out of Suho more than anything 

the fact that Seojun still said that Suho probably broke up cuz he feels bad ... Seojun is still helping Suho even then 

last annoyance I have is the earring scene, in the webtoon it’s super sweet scene because Jug decides to buy Seojun earrings, in the kdrama they made Seojun push for it, he had to pick one and then he made her pay just so he could pay for the sweet thing (and he gets annoyed because he asked for ONE day in those 3 years of pain where she focuses on him and again he is met with disrespect - but he doesn’t try to make her feel bad, he just stifles it again) 

[phoebehalliwell]

Do Penn and Dency have like more a of sisterly than a cousin one since they’re so close in age (and they kinda grew up together since they only a few months apart). And like on a slightly different topic, what does Penn think of Dove? Did Penn and Dency share friends in Magic school or did they run in opposite circles?

tl;dr yeah they’re more sisterly & penn and dove don’t really like each other that much, & penn and dency definitely ran in different circles, especially as they got older. there’s like. a full on deep dive under the cut. i highly recommend u read if u wanna know why penn’s Like That & her complex relationship with both dency & dove, but um. it’s 3.7k words. but u should read it♥

i would definitely say they’re more sisters than they are cousins because like. i don’t know how close y’all are with your cousins. but like. cousinship is really not what i’d call a solid unbreakable fraternal bond you know? like penn and dency are like. 2.5 months apart so They Are The Same Age (even tho dency’s born in 02 & penn’s born in 03) and also because while in dency’s early years there is a phoebe/coop thread running, it still takes a while for those two to enter a committed relationship and move out so for the first. three? or so years of their lives, dency and penn literally shared a bedroom in the manor like they were raised kinda like twins just from a proximity standpoint. and then, of course, since they’re the same age and all, they hit milestones at the same time & are always in the same school year (which i feel like both these girls went to private schools which are like. always catholic schools idk if this is universal but like. i feel like in sf almost every single private school is tied to a church but maybe i just don’t know that many people who went to private school. and yes this is because i just really really want dency to go to a catholic school her being the antichrist so to speak all that i want her to be genuinely afraid that if she touches holy water she’ll burn it’s fun (it doesn’t burn her, for the record. she like. tried when she was 9/10 and it’s like one of those things like you know how you can lick your fingers and pinch out a candle flame so as a kid you wanna try it and you have saliva all over your fingers and you keep going in a chickening out because that’s fire!! that’s a flame!! what the fuck!!! so its a back and forth until you just gotta do it yeah that she ends up like plunging her full hand in when the plan was kinda only dip a finger but good news! she’s fine she does not burn with holy water.) maybe they go to public high school but like. private elementary and/or middle school. because high school who cares but going to a catholic middle school will leave the funniest long term effects on people).

and then, of course, magic school. they both go to magic school. which as i’ve stated before i think there are many magic schools this magic school is tethered to san francisco and i think really any west coast witches will attend that school but there aren’t That Many so class sizes are still like. 30 kids. and then, of course, as this is Charm School (as so it is dubbed as it is the school run by the charmed ones) they do kinda host their fair share of magical events which is mainly like the elders being like okay can we all get together let’s host a yule celebration here which they do in this world but not in the canon!gen2 due to one major defining factor: penn. because like. she’s the twice blessed man. magic literally shut down just like globally for a full day when she was born (dency actually retained a limited amount of magic as you know she has a bit of source. it’s a magic source. but like. very little it was insanely dampened). but you know globally no one really knew this was coming all of magic was left standing there with their dick in their hands until it turned back on and now there’s only one question: what the fuck was that? and the answer was a baby literally so powerful was born that all magic rested for a day to welcome this child. the twice blessed has arrived. And That’s A Big Fucking Deal! and again: the elders don’t really like the charmed ones all that much bit of a two way street here because the charmed ones don’t like them so they would love to take away this ability maybe save it for a rainy day with a family they don’t already have a dicey history with but um. source’s heir is right there. so we’re gonna keep the twice blessed in tact. but yeah basically the elders have kind of these magical holidays at magic school and penn has to be in attendance just because she’s kinda the representation of the best of good magic. she’s an idol everyone can kinda get behind you know rejuvenate the spirit of good magic unite the witches behind one figurehead.

which, for the record, piper and leo are Not Really Game for because what the fuck so it’s like. at first when the elders are like. let’s host a litha celebration here invite magical families around the world extend olive branches so to speak you know it also tells the underworld that good magic is strong on united really keeps them at bay (because they really have yet to recover from s7/s8 there’s still not centralized ruler demon/monster attacks have been way down and quite frankly the sisters wanna keep it that way. they love a world where their lives aren’t constantly at risk). so initially they’re like yeah sure they bring their kids because what are they gonna hire a babysitter the kids can be there and like. everyone fawns over penn. and penn initially loves it because like you’re 7 who doesn’t love being special being the center of attention. but piper & leo are like 😐 because they’re starting to see the game the elders are playing but you know. in the early years penn really likes going to these. i should state penn’s full name is actually melinda penelope halliwell and when she was young she did go by melinda but she really didn’t like how much she was compared to melinda warren esp with all the twice-blessed stuff (she also has leo’s hair color (i.e. blonde) so she does look a lot like her ancestor) so around 13 14 or so she starts going by penelope which people shorten to penny which is just another ancestor to be compared to so she shortens that to penn. so yeah through the elementary school era i think penn really likes attending these functions she likes being liked and piper and leo are like no really you don’t have to go in fact we’d prefer it if you’d stayed home but she’s like 9 she doesn’t get the minutia of it and she’ll like cry if she can’t go to the fun party. by the time she hits middle school tho she’s like no this shit is draining lmao can all these adults back off. but then like. by the time she hits high school she’s kinda caught on and if it’s her being a charming, polite, dazzling little twice blessed that keeps good magic solid and the underworld at bay, she can play that role. she will play that role. but now there’s a sense of duty to it.

so. i’m still talking. i think it magic school penn was really popular because she was like a household name you know, that and like she’s really got her father’s kind heart and can play mediator like her mother so she kinda can do the saintlike role given to her (which again is something she starts at a young age not realizing what all this is before and it grows into the core of who she is & now it’s inseparable. it’s kinda like the male gaze. but the elder gaze. even pretending you aren't catering to elder fantasies is an elder fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. you are a witch with an elder inside watching a witch. you are your own voyeur. lmao. haha but yeah penn has a really big circle but while people fawn over penn they are inherently distrustful of dency because again these are kids and they get their opinions from their parents. and some parents really don’t want the source of all evil going to school and learning alongside their kids. and this is kinda penn’s crucial flaw is she was kinda always taught to be so temperate that when people are mean to dency, she doesn’t like. go to bat for dency. she mediates. she’ll mediate in a situation where someone is clearly in the wrong but is like. let’s reach a peaceful agreement let’s try to see both sides because you know her parents especially leo raised her with this peace love & understanding mentality and she’s so young she doesn’t get the nuance of situations.

so, rather than kinda sit and field catty comments from other witches in penn’s social circle & watch penn try to turn this into some kind of socratic seminar on how we’re all different and we should all try to understand each other dency kinda just voluntarily breaks from penn’s circle. it’s not too difficult as not that many people really wanted her anyway and also she’s not always in the same classes as them as she needs lots of private tutoring to kind of. you know. hone her demon powers, which function differently.

and then this is where we bring in dove who is a witch with no active powers and two mortal parents, so she doesn’t actually realize it’s weird not to have active powers until she reaches magic school (after being enrolled by paige, who has basically assorted sidequests going at all time where she like. finds witches who don’t have the resources to learn the craft proper and rather than let them just risk it she enrolls them in her school. she does this in canon!gen2 as well that’s kinda like her whitelighter job as i don’t think she has too too many Charges in a traditional whitelighter sense). and then a bit of history on dove her parents are fucking loaded. the type of rich you eat, not just upper middle class. and her dad does fuck knows what tech shit in the silicon valley and her mom’s basically just a socialite. so dove, like penn, from a very young age learns the art of being the little doll at the party. we’re sitting this baby down at the grand piano and you’re all gonna coo and aww as she knocks out für elise okay? but the primary difference between penn & dove is dove was being coached. dove knew from a very young age what she was doing. penn was just what the john mulaney quote shiny and dumb and easy to trick? yeah. piper and leo didn’t want her there they didn’t want her exposed to like the notion of white magic politics, dove’s mother on the other hand basically trained her in the art of the social kill.

So. dove as a kid gets to magic school and kinda quickly realizes she’s not like the other kids. and yes, there are some late bloomers, but like. she’s really not like the other kids i mean she’s a witch with no lineage and no active powers and everyone else seems to have family friends and people they already know and she’s alone. so. ever the social strategist, she aligns herself with penn. and dove joined about late elementary school early middle school so she got contact with dency before she broke, but she knows her mostly by reputation because dove loves gossip and there’s a lot to be whispered about dency. unfortunately, there’s also a lot to be whispered about her. and it’s usually like. if you’re a late bloomer and you don’t have an active power, by the time you hit puberty one develops (there’s also like. the other marker is when the brain stops developing around age 25 sometimes power develop then and dove’s currently like 24 so she’s lowkey still holding out for that one). but dove kinda goes through puberty and doesn’t get an active power and now kids are calling her dud and this is where penn’s middle road logic fails her again because she just. she’ll be kind to dove and be like that’s really mean and they shouldn’t have said that, but she’ll also speak kindly to the bullies and be like hey that’s not nice don’t say that. and dove is not a temperate person so when she’s attacked she goes for the jugular. and penn pulls out again this peace love & understanding card like i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t stoop to their level you should try to always be understanding because you don’t know what they’re going through and it pisses dove off because penn literally has no backbone. like she’s never really seen penn stand for anything and quite frankly she’s a little pissed about it because she specifically befriended penn for like protection for a place in the magical community and penn just like. does not offer that because she’s just do spineless.

so i think dove kinda just slowly distances herself from penn and penn doesn’t really do anything to keep friends so to speak because as the twice blessed kids kind of just flock to her she’s definitely got a really weird dynamic just with others as a whole so it’s like when dove stops invited penn over for playdates it’s not like penn’s gonna Start inviting dove over for playdates because that’s simply not how penn’s mind works. also almost all her playdates from like a really young age were really weird because it was just witches being like oh my god let’s set up a cute little playdate for our kids i’ll bring them over at 1 and piper and leo were game because you know yay socialization for my daughter, but you know it quickly became obvious that it wasn’t for the kids. like it was for these parents who get to be in the halliwell manor talking to a charmed one, the twice blessed is right there, & it was kind of sickening. so yeah. that happened one too many times. but like the further dove drifted from penn kind of the less she held her tongue because you know penn’s so kind and temperate that she really doesn’t like hearing insults quick jabs you know like obviously. but dove’s great at it. and yeah, there are kids dove just doesn’t like because they’re dicks to her. so when they go after dency, dove’s immediately ready to tear them to bits. it’s kind of like sticking up for the little man, but it’s more just like attacking the bully bc now you have a reason to. but what surprises dove is dency also has some bite to her words, dency also fights back. which dove again ever the social strategist thinks dency shouldn’t to that because she already has the title of the source’s heir hanging over her it’s not wise to pour fuel on that fire but at the same time she’s glad dency just like. does fight back. is a dick about it. she loves that she’s someone who doesn’t play the social game, someone who’s true to herself and isn’t going to water herself down in order to be liked by other people. you know dency’s got backbone she’s got chutzpah and dove loves to see it after everyone in magic school who are all just like. 11 year old sycophants finally someone who’s real. so i think dove and dency kind of become besties as they willingly mark themselves as the social outcasts who just. do what they want to do. it’s like dency’s basically a demon and dove’s basically mortal and together they’re just having like. a great fucking time. i think they really like each other. it’s also dove’s first friendship that literally has no exterior advantage if anything it brings down her stock but she doesn’t care because dency’s just like cool man.

and then nowadays they’re all like 24 and dency and dove live together dency works as a freelance journalist (even though elise is constantly offering her a permanent position at the bay mirror, dency doesn’t accept it because she “doesn’t want a nepotism job” to which elise is like dency i wouldn’t offer you the job if i didn’t think you were any good my own niece has been trying to get an internship here for two years but she writes absolute drivel okay i don’t want you here because you’re my goddaughter i want you here because you’re an excellent writer. but dency still always turns her down because she doesn’t like the optics. she still spends a lot of time a the bay mirror just because i really love the visual of punk rock antichrist rolling up to the bay mirror and immediately getting the biggest hug from elise when most employees have yet to even see elise smile) & then dove on the other hand 100% has a nepotism job she like does pr for her dad’s company. penn i think works in piper’s kitchen as a line cook where she literally like addresses her mom like yes chef all that like people don’t know she’s the owner’s daughter hell they barely know her name and she kinda loves it like that.

and dency and penn definitely have this kind of testy relationship because dency never leaves well enough alone. i mean that’s literally her job right as a journalist, but it carries over into magic too & penn hates it because someday dency’s gonna get herself killed. but the fact of the matter is their fighting styles are not compatible. penn and dency are not good side by side in a fight & dency would much rather work alone. but, if penn knows anything, she’s gonna be there. she refuses to let dency go in alone because if dency dies and there was something she could have done about it she’d never forgive herself. this is why dency doesn’t go to penn for healing anymore because again they can’t lie to each other given their lie detector power, so rather than get penn involved dency goes to her friend jack who is both a mortal & and nurse & went to like the same private elementary school as dency, tho i think he was in on a lottery. And. Of Course. there is a vice versa going on here because dency does not tell penn things because like. if penn dies because she was following dency into some dangerous battle she’d never forgive herself. because, quite honestly, dency knows she’s powerful. she has a skill set that practically no one has the ability to counter. but also. she’s the source’s heir. penn’s the twice blessed. the world needs penn a lot more than it needs her, you know? dency does kind of view herself as more expendable than penn, you know again penn is the embodiment of all good magic and the story’s definitely been spun that penn and the elders kind of unifying good magic, creating a strong bond keeps the underworld at bay. penn’s death would be a devastating blow. and on top of that, penn’s really not a fighter. dency is, she’s great at it. and you know, if penn was always running headfirst into battles like dency, it really would be a mirror relationship but penn really does not practice magic outside of magic school. so that’s not a concern. but yeah. given this fact that penn is really more important symbol-wise & the fact they do not fight well together & the fact penn’s just not great at fighting & she does not remotely know the demonic world like dency does, dency really does try to keep her cousin in the dark as much as possible.

dove and penn kind of in the present have a bit of a rivalry going at least penn considers it a rivalry because penn genuinely considers them equals, dove on the other hand does not because penn is the twice blessed and dove is a witch without powers but yeah. no one really can argue the way they argue because it really doesn’t sound like an argument it’s like. written down it can seem like a perfectly friendly conversation but there is kind of this intense vein of malice running through most of their interactions. which, while we’re kind of positioned to side with dove because she’s more of a main character than penn is, she’s besties with our protagonist, also i love her, dove is definitely the instigator. and it’s not like penn’s deserving of any of dove’s harassment but dove is just still really bitter about how penn was supposed to be her shelter as a young girl but penn never stands up for anything leaving dove really vulnerable as a kid. which she has not ever voiced to penn, penn just thinks dove’s a bitch (which she is, but like,) but at the same time penn almost always seeks dove out or even invites her (not directly, but rather by extension by insisting dency has to come no no you have to come listen you can bring a friend okay but you have to be there. because dency will only ever bring dove.) to these magical functions because a) dove’s kind of already so low on the food chain that she’s really fine with making snide comments to the faces of these really pretentious parents who are only in it for power and optics. like penn always has to pretend not to smile when dove makes the comments she always wished she could say just like. to an elder’s face. and then on top of that, dove’s about the only person who doesn’t view penn as sacred, and by extension, now that they’re older, dove is about the only person penn doesn’t have to act sacred around (outside of her own family, obvi). like. penn has piper’s bitchiness. she just never gets to say what’s on her mind because she’s too busy being The Twice Blessed. unless she’s around dency & dove & co, where nobody cares who she is, and she can be kind of the dick she is. she’s not as temperate as she seems. 

[j-mysticalien]

🔫 the oc content, hand it over /lh

you don’t have to if u don’t want to lol I just saw you said something about ocs and 👀 I am interested

FIRST OF ALL 🥺🥺🥺

SECOND OF ALL OKAY OKAY HERE TAKE IT 

(I ended up dumping a lot ... I saw the opportunity and ran with it I didn’t mean to oops)

These guys have been in my head for y e a r s and even though I'll abandon them for months at a time, there are plot points I've forgotten, it’s very very unfinished, and clearly influenced by my freshman year interests, they're some of my favorites to imagine and write like every time I do a picrew chain or something I make them too for myself okay okay-

So. Exposition. For ages the demons and dark things have slipped between the veil and into the world. As evil rises, so do those who stand against it. In some parts of the world The Order was established not to eradicate or wage war against the demons, just to keep everything in their proper dimensions and destroy those who refuse. Members of the Order work in groups with assigned roles, often passed down generations. 1: trained in the physical aspects of fighting creatures, they have the unique and mysterious ability to survive in the other dimension-at least better than the average mortal. 2, “Alchemist”: Usually a witch, human descendant of a magical being, or a particularly skilled mortal even. they provide the magical aid since the other cannot perform magic themselves. (Though Witches tend to form their own communities or work with the demon realm which historically has caused tensions) While fewer and well hidden, this secret society guards the mortal realm to this day... 

There’s a small, quiet town in the northeast. Nothing much happens- the power may go out or the weather may turn within seconds and figures may appear and shift into the shadows but it all turns out fine eventually. Nothing to worry about. But those who know a  little too much know where to go when things need to be taken care off. Bloom’s Florist and Garden Shop, a sweet little store in the middle of town staffed by the owner’s two teenaged kids. They’ve got a lovely selection of flowers and herbs. If you hear noises from their basement, best to ignore it. If you see the kids sprinting down the street, best to stay out of their way. If they tell you to avoid the woods one night, you listen...

OCS MY BELOVED HERE THEY ARE

 Dante Achilles Sindweller. He is type 1.  He’s tall, thin but muscular, almost dangerously pale. His hair is blue, eyes blue though they sometimes look red. Riddles with piercings and pale scars. Cocky bastard but well deserved. Friendly and deadly all at once. He’s good at what he does and is always up for a challenge. Low key high key losing his sense of humanity. You see actually being in the demon dimension is draining because of the pure chaos of it but returning to reality is rough too. Because of the hunter’s ability (I’m pretty sure they have this ability bc the og demon hunters secretly fucked a bunch of demons so Hunters have demon blood and cannot “die” in the hell dimension but idfk at this point) they can adapt to the word with a combination of demonic attributes and idealized forms that disappear when he gets back. So um the mental toll is very much a thing that he hides very well...at least at first. He doesn’t actually have to travel too often thought, just during emergencies and later he genuinely visits some chill demon friends there.

Cordelia Emerys Bloom, “Cordie”. 5′2″, dark brown skin, black hair she keeps in two short braids, round rimmed glasses. She’s the alchemist. a few of her far off ancestors were fae. Her own magical battery is low so she’s become skilled in working with. potions and magical plants. She’s the most serious member. of the trio. She knows the job, she has a rhythm, she doesn’t like change. This group had three braincells and 90% of the time she has all of them. She likes her plants, her books, and Dante. She’s a little high strung and stubborn but she’s clever, intelligent, and really warm person once you get past her shields. She grew up way too fast and with all her adult figures gone, Dante slowly slipping (though she denies it to the point where Alice bright it up and they didn’t talk for a week), and this irritation turned fear that Alice’s presence is temporary leaves her with some issues but it’s okay im determined to let her be happy, she just has to let herself accept happiness.

Alice Barnet. A witch. Thick, bright red  hair, hazel/ blue eyes. Absolutely stunning. and a fashion icon. She moved to attend to uppity private school right outside of town. She stumbled upon the shop and immediately sensed the great power hidden in there. So she just walked in- because of the dimensional portal not because the girl at the register she saw through the window was so pretty what are you talking about it was witch instinct only- and announced herself and offered her services. She’s a flirt, though a sincere one. She projects a confident, fun vibes even if she doesn't actually feel it. Fake it until you make it I guess. Coffee addict will memorize your birth chart, Starbucks order, and all the little behavioral things. Most of my early drabbles with her involve her sitting on Cordie’s desk sipping her iced coffee while Cordie is like “how tf did you get in here” “good question. Better one: they didn’t have the black tea you like is green okay?” She actually is part of an informal coven but that’s a whole side story with its own cast of characters I haven’t touched in ages

Dynamics dynamics so Cordie and Dante are siblings in all but blood, they’ve been together for almost their entire lives. (Cordie’s parents are almost always away-either on Order business or just vibing idk they’re cool though. Dante’s parents are dead but only Dante himself seems to know that-Something about demon blood and dimension hopping doesn’t let their kind live long) They’re really close. If they met at this point in life they probably would never have been friends and Cordie probably would despise him but as they are they love each other and *know* each other. Technically Dante is older but Cordie is the eldest sister of the relationship.

The two of them have opposite reactions when Alice enters their life. (This entrance is one of the few *full* scenes I actually wrote down) Dante is allured-not by her but by the potential adventure she represents. She states her case and he’s like oh this’ll be interesting. They become best friends almost instantly. Their sass, confidence, and more adventurous sides click harmoniously- much of the time to Cordie’s dismay. To Cordelia, Alice is something unknown, something potentially dangerous. She makes her assumptions (prissy, incompetent, entitled, inexperienced) and tolerated her. Alice has had a crush on her since day 1. She was determined to prove herself to the group and really she’d just like to get her trust and friendship at some point, gushy feelings be damned. They fall in love slowly, they learn to trust and be weak and learn to know each other and be themselves Alice is genuinely interested in all the stuff Cordie knows about the magical world and Cordie gets to try to be a person outside of that world. The recent stuff I’ve actually written down involves a lot of sleepy conversations and whispered confessions and soft touched and hhh

Some of the non-human characters

“Lady”: the ghost that haunts the basement/ Order base. She can’t really speak and isn't always visible, never fully. They don’t know who she was or why she’s there. She helps out when she can though. Might help Dante in the very end. 

All of the actual demons are off ideas. Like each deadly sin has it’s own demon (they didn’t realize some humans had grouped them together for some time but they think it’s funny, sometimes they hang out just because of that) The gang doesn't directly meet a lot of them but 

Curiosity aka “Apple” aka “Heather” aka “Bee”aka...:The spark that fuels innovation ne the spiral of a downfall. frequently visits human world, team switches between stopping them from blowing up a building to playing Mario kart together. Like he definitely causes trouble and should not keep escaping through the portal but like...he’s fun to got to the mall with. Funky Lil dude who’s there for a good time and some chaos. Changes aliases all the time.

Nostalgia aka “Honey-Lavender”: the kind that leaves the ghost of a smile on your face, the kind that drowns you in the past, the kind that makes you want to go back, or forget. mostly stays in hell. One of the demons Dante visits and is acquainted with. They lay and talk. She can be a downer but he doesn’t mind, he appreciates the company and some days she keeps him tethered to his life and sanity (on the bad says she has the opposite effect, she can’t help it)

OKAY AHAHA THATS ENOUGH OUT OF ME THERE THEY ARE THANKS

[filmbefore]

MEET THE JEON FAMILY !!

mr. and mrs. jeon are two of the most reputation - obsessed people in the state of maryland . neither of them were born into wealth of any kind , but yearned for the luxuries and renown that came with multiple zeros in your bank account . both parents tried a multitude of business ventures and failed many times over , more often leaving the family in even more debt than they started with . they both tried to instill these success and infamy driven values in their three children , seeing their kids as even more routes to their familial success . but when their kids were anything but perfect , it just drove a wedge in their relationship . long story short this whole family has been in their flop era since day one .

ARTHUR JEON : FATHER 

arthur has always held the kids at an arms distance , never wanting them to get to close . this was only made easier by the older man constantly playing a balancing act between the multiple jobs he would hold at once . when he was younger , he tried his hand at all kinds of odd jobs here and there , saving up enough money to marry his long term girlfriend . however , when their first child was born , both he and mrs. jeon decided that they needed a more steady income for their growing family . so , mr jeon took out a loan and decided to open a restaurant ! and you guessed it ! it failed within the first year . and that was just the start of all the bankruptcy that would follow their family for the foreseeable future . but arthur jeon is a shifty lil guy who has always been able to pull on people’s heartstrings and make a quick buck here and there when necessary . of course , having violet , one of the most naive people on earth , as a daughter was really useful for arthur . he had always been able to make violet believe anything he told her , even as she got much older . which is exactly how he manipulated his daughter into being their connection to a drug ring , ship drugs out to grayson , and keep his affairs a secret . violet also learned how to victimize herself through this man ! like , any time she would catch him doing something less than respectable , arthur would pull that “ oh i am just the worst dad ever . i have never been good to you , vv . you deserve better ” which would then put her in the situation of comforting him ,, which is when he would be like “ violet , i know you care for our family . if you tell anyone , everything as you know it will change . you wouldn’t do that right ? ” and suddenly she’s blackmailing the woman he slept with to keep their family together smh Men ..

CLARE JEON : MOTHER

clare jeon is the final boss when it comes to perfectionism ! she has been the one who has always wanted to keep up appearances so that her kids and her family were never seen as ‘ being without ’ because it would reflect poorly on her and her skills as a mother . with one new credit card after the next and money that they should have been using to pay the bank back , clare would constantly buy her kids clothes with money that they didn’t have and drive the nicest car she could afford when driving the kids to school . her standards for her kids were unreasonably high and she was not afraid to let them know when they disappointed her by simply not being the perfect image she had in her head . and unfortunately , violet lived to try and reach her mother’s impossible standards , coming up short every time . after all , the girl had a chronic case of middle kid syndrome and was frequently the butt of her mother’s internalized misogyny . even when grayson was acting up , it seemed as though clare would prefer to deal with his screw ups than give violet the time of day for her newest swim trophy . maybe that was all in violet’s head , but it still left lasting effects on her self esteem . 

GRAYSON JEON : OLDER BROTHER

( DRUGS TW ) these two were thick as thieves growing up . they were only a few years apart in age and the little girl idolized her older brother . grayson almost acted as a loving parent for violet and their younger brother , ben . with the way their parents treated all of them , grayson knew that his younger siblings needed someone to just be there for them and appreciate their accomplishments . even when grayson began getting older and getting into trouble , violet turned a blind eye to the situation , choosing instead to enjoy their time together before he would go away to college someday . however , once grayson began doing drugs more and more often , violet began to distance herself from him in order to make herself look better to their parents . she hoped that if she began to treat him like their parents did , that they would respect her for being so mature for her age ! that didn’t happen . and suddenly , grayson was leaving for an indefinitely long trip to europe . and that’s basically where their relationship went down the mf drain because then violet became her family’s liaison between the ,, shh ,, cartel and grayson away in europe , just causing his drug problems to get worse and worse instead of helping him like a sister should . all because her dad lied to her ,, again ,, and said that him staying out there is what was best for grayson and what was best for their family as a whole . but now grayson is in the elites and violet is Scared as fuck because she knows she absolutely fucked him over !! anyway !!!!!!!!

BENJAMIN “ BEN ” JEON : YOUNGER BROTHER

violet has pretty much always babied ben because he was has always been her little baby ! he has always been a lot more quiet and skittish than his older siblings . think : charlie from the perks of being a wallflower . he’s very emotional and more than a little awkward around other people . he also has that typical jeon kid mentality of wanting to impress his parents so fucking bad , but he hasn’t really grown out of it like grayson and violet have since moving out . he’s still a senior in high school and dealing with his parents’ shit every day . but now he’s alone with them , making it ten times worse . he tries to call violet almost every day , just to be able to talk to someone since he doesn’t really have friends at school . but most of the time , he can only call violet when he’s driving home from school now since their parents won’t talk to violet anymore and would probably be angry as fuck if they found out he was talking to her still . idk bro the boy just can’t wait to go to college and get out of his parents’ house . sweet , sweet kid . love u ben 

GORDON “ GOOSE ” TELLER : HONORABLE MENTION

( DRUGS TW ) okay i couldn’t NOT mention goose in violet’s family task because this man truly is like family to her . bennie covered most of it in their family task for goose , but i just gotta dive in some more from lil vi’s perspective . violet and goose probably met when she was around 12-13 ish ??? because he and grayson met at boarding school . and because goose was always kinda ,,, uh ,, iffy about his home life , grayson would invite him to come spend the summer fucking around in annapolis with him . he was very much like My Older Brother’s Best Friend in violet’s life , in the way that he would kinda pick on her and bug her but really and truly goose just reminds violet so much of some of the best summers of her childhood . she just remembers giving our gemini king a lil late bday party sometime in the middle of june . violet would probably bake a goose a strawberry cake with sprinkles all over it and some odd number of candles stuck here and there . she also remembers riding in the back of her parents’ car with goose and grayson up front , playing some music that their parents would probably kill them for listening to so loudly with the windows down . she remembers her , grayson , goose , and ben sitting on the curb outside of 7-Eleven drinking their free slurpees . god literally just so many memories i could go on and on and on . but like bennie explained in their task , violet and goose obviously did not remain very close after grayson disappeared to europe . especially since violet could pretty much assume where her older brother’s drug habits originated . she has always kind of held some sort of contempt for goose because of that . even now . she will never tell him that , but she has always wondered if things would be different if goose and grayson had never met . she and goose still got close at yale though after realizing that they are the closest thing that either of them had to family when all this blackmailer shit started . idk i just love them a lot 

[santiagoeu]

⟨ TAYLOR ZAKHAR PEREZ. CIS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, SANTIAGO DE ANA is actually a descendent of D I O N Y S U S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-FIVE year old LANDSCAPE ARCHITECTURE MAJOR from TEQUILA, MEXICO has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite LOYAL & STUBBORN

.basic info

NAME: pablo santiago de anda sauza

PRONUNCIATION: SAN-tee-AA-goh 

NICKNAME: santi, tiago, chiago

GENDER: cis male

PLACE OF BIRTH: tequila, jalisco, mexico

DATE OF BIRTH: november 23, 1995

AGE: twenty-five

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

MAJOR: landscape architecture

EXTRACURRICULARS: Vicepresident of the botany and gardening club, bird watching member, vicepresident of the latinos student association, eonia choir member, traveling club president

SPORTS: water polo captain, cheerleading member

.character inspo

TBA

.background

I WILL MAKE A PROPER BIO SOMEDAY, NOT TODAY

tw: death, drugs use

born in tequila, mexico. his mother was the daughter of an important family. the family business was tequila and they were very conservative. that’s why when carolina came home with a man, pregnant and unmarried her family kicked her out.

the man, the father of this baby was none other but dionysus. i guess he liked that carolina was a tequila heiress bc shots! but he actually did love her? i mean at least he stayed for a year following santiago’s birth. then he was like i miss the party life gotta yeet

little issue here son of a gun dionysus never told her he was a god, so she know how to raise a demigod without knowing.

he spent six years in mexico city with his mom but when he was 6 years old and earthquake struck, or that’s what everyone believed. it had been a monster and dionysus actually showed up and saved santiago but he couldn’t save carolina.

upon hearing the news, carolina’s family were like meh poor caro and her bastard child but... his uncle had a heart and traveled to mexico city to pick up his nephew and raised him as his own.

he considers his uncle, his father and loves him more than anything.

he had a nice comfortable life and it was boring until his 12th birthday when dionysus came back to claim him.

his uncle was like “uh, what?” but in order to prove that he wasn’t lying dionysus took them to a dope party in ibiza, which is not suitable for a twelve year old but dio be dio.

anyway, his uncle was like “okay you be telling the truth” and he allowed santiago to go to different camps.

things were smooth until santiago turned 15. he became a party animal, and started doing drugs which concerned his uncle but santiago was like “yo, tío, it’s in my blood”

he got in sooooo much trouble and failed school even if he’s not dumb he just never wanted the party to stop

he touched rock bottom (sort of) when he drove his ex boyfriend mad. after that, he was like bye mexico and just jumped from party to party for two years.

he came back when he was 20

he worked at the family’s estate until a monster, again, found him for using his powers to help the agave plants and almost destroyed everything.

after fixing the estate, his uncle said it was for the better for him to attend eonia and he agreed bc he loves his uncle and doesn’t want to put him through more pain

full bio (NOT YET)

.personality

Santiago is a fun person to be around, he can be a bit intimidating and definitely not the friend you call whenever you want a non honest opinion. He’s brutally honest but he doesn’t say things with malice, instead, he would help you out. Despite his honesty, he is very kind and grateful for what he has. He is a family guy, and still calls his father who lives in Mexico every day. He can be very sarcastic and sometimes people don't understand his humor. He is also very proud of his roots and will try to find any excuse to brag about his country. Sometimes he can be too demanding and some would even describe him as arrogant, but that's just a facade. He loves to argue because he's so stubborn and always thinks he's right, but overall, he's happy to help and a very loyal friend.

.powers

chlorokinesis: this is the skill santiago has more developed. he first noticed when he moved back to his family’s estate in tequila. it had been a difficult time for his family because a rival company had poisoned their agaves plants, so they were losing almost all their plants. he was very young to understand what was happening but he sensed that something was wrong, and he always had a thing for communicating with plants. his mother always believed it was just kids stuff, but really, it was his powers manifesting. he was able to communicate with the agave plants and he healed them, ever since, his family’s estate has had the best agave plants in the region. he was a special relationship with nature, especially plants, he considers them his best friends and he feels at ease in a place full of plants or vegetation.

alcokinesis: party trick!!! no wonder santiago was the most popular kid at his high school. somehow he always managed to get alcohol, his friends often wondered how but he never revealed his secret, mostly because they would think he’s insane. now that he’s at eonia he doesn’t do it as often because well, he has siblings and he’s a lazy mf. he doesn’t mind not feeling the effects of alcohol, after all, that’s what drugs are for, no?

cause madness: it’s a power he discovered when he was about seventeen and he’s only used it once and by accident. he had a relationship with a classmate but he decided to break up with santiago and as someone who doesn’t know rejection he felt very bitter, like never before. it also didn’t help that mentally he was drained after partying too much and too many drugs. they had a fight at a party and he said some hurtful stuff, out of spite and apparently he said the magic word or whatever and that threw his ex off the edge. it was a very traumatic event and he still feels guilty because he doesn’t know how he did it or how to fix it.

natural acting abilities lol no. he’s a terrible liar, has stage fright and finds theater boring

ability to appear at any party being held: pitbull aka mr. world wide has nothing against santiago’s party skills. after he drove his ex mad, he spiraled down and pretty much lived a party lifestyle for the next two years.

.headcanons

Born in Tequila, Jalisco but he and his mother moved to Mexico City shortly after his birth. He returned to Jalisco when he was six. 

He can speak Spanish, English, Greek and Portuguese

He’s a bobarista at tea-o-logy

Loveeeees nature, and he’s always talking to his plants

His family has money but he doesn’t talk a lot about it.

Favorites: Como agua para chocolate by Laura Esquivel (book); Scent of a Woman (1992) (movie); De música ligera by Soda Stereo (song);

Again, no one asked me but I will reply: “Ella, does Santi hates Iker?” “Well, thanks for asking. Yes, he does. He’s fucked half of his siblings.”

pinterest | | wanted connections (dont look mace, there’s nothing here)

[agathisfelis]

Where Power Originates

Tools, jars, herbs have NO power; they align, YOU are the power.

OK you new folks, I keep seeing posts about ingredients for spells. How to dispose of them, how to fix a screw up, can I use this or that.

So here you go. Tools are JUST tools. The only exception is when YOU power certain types of crystals. They can amplify. But we are going to stay on the tools topic not crystals.

A spell is created when you use YOUR power (And sometimes people add power from an outside source such as a Deity, crystal etc., again: different topic) to align energy and send it to where it will be most effective.

Here are the steps.

POWER UP

Pay attention to your own energy, when are you the most powered up? What time and day? What helps you power up? Music? Grounding? Dancing? Swimming in the ocean? You get the idea. If you use the moon to time your work the full moon work is for things that will decrease the new moon is for things you want to increase.

ALIGN YOUR ENERGY

Align your energy. Think of the ocean or a lake, feel it energetically. Hear it, feel the water, see the waves or the still water, smell it...... you have just aligned your energy to that body of water. That is what the tools are for.

Some herbs have specific alignments, some stones have natural alignments, all the tools you are going to use to help you align should have similar properties. There are correspondences in many witchcraft books. Look the stuff up. IF you are going to use the internet to confirm your ingredients check with at least 4 different sources. Anyone can make a website.

These tools are help you align your energy to what you want to happen. They are not important they are there to assist you. THEY ARE NOT THE SPELL. The old spells used hair or nails of another person, just a way of alignment. If you can summon the person's energy then you don't need that stuff. Right now think of someone you love, feel their energy, you have just aligned your energy to theirs. If you cannot do that use the ingredients to help you.

SEND THE POWER

You are powered up, you have your energy aligned now comes the hard part, sending the energy. You need to feel the excess power in yourself and you need to send it to your goal. Maybe your goal is protection for a family member, then you can send it directly to them (with permission from them). If you send the power into a jar or container that they will not be carrying around with them the spell is less effective.

Feel the power, see it coming from you, pick a color and where you want it to come from. Healing energy, I use green and it comes from my hands. Grounding energy I use forest green and brown and send from the solar plexus, but there are no rules. Do what feels natural. You want to send it hard, like you are throwing a ball as hard as you can, or shooting a gun. IF after you have sent one "shot" you still have excess energy, give it another one. With practice it will be done in one or two "sendings". When you have sent all you can then you should use an athame, your hand, your mind whatever feels right to CUT the energy flow and allow the energy to finish reaching it's goal. This keeps you from sending to much energy and depleting your life force. You should never completely drain yourself. You want to be sending the excess power that you purposely raised. Sometimes for a few seconds after the sending you feel almost like you are waking up from a long nap. It will take a second to refocus on your physical surroundings. This is normal and good. SLIGHT disorientation afterwards is normal. It means you have gone into a deeper level of mind.

MAKING YOUR OWN SPELLS

It's very simple. Decide what you want to do. Spend time on this. The research here should be more than in spell ingredients when you are a beginner. HOW do you want to do this? Don't just grab a jar and start. Will the spell be one that should be worn, should it be just raw energy? There are many many ways to create magic.

What do you want to do, can you align or do you need help by using ingredients? When should you do it? Where is the energy being sent? There is no need for a lot of words or any words. There are no rules. If you want to chant, read a poem, recite a spell fine but don't release your energy you have powered up in little bits, make it like a torpedo.

So you send the energy to the target. You should be able to feel it, if you have sent to another person usually they will be able to feel it in some way.

You can use this energy to create anything you like. A force field around your room or house, a protection for you (wear it), a sweet spell (should be by the person you want to sweeten). I use zero tools but it's just a choice. My point is the tools are secondary. YOU are providing the power.

DID I SCREW UP?

You can't really screw up a spell if you follow the power up, align, send. If you are using tools and let’s say you drop the jar, time to giggle, find another jar and do it again. If you don't send energy nothing will happen. You can put ingredients together all day long and recite words over them and hope something will happen, that's called manifesting or WISHcraft, not witchcraft.

REPOWERING YOUR MAGICK

Since most here are familiar with honey jars lets us that as an example. So you have sent power to the honey jar, the spell is done. How long will it last? It will last until the energy you put in runs out, then it becomes just a jar. So you need to check your spells. If the person it's for is REALLY pissed at you then the energy will run out much faster. With a little practice you will be able to reach out energetically and feel your own work, you will know when it needs more energy then simply repower the same jar. Now if the stuff in it is rotten, obviously dump it out and remake it. Then recast.

WHAT IF SOMEONE TOUCHES IT? OR MOVES IT? OR THROWS IT AWAY? 

How do I uncharge it?

It does not matter. It is still charged (or not charged if the energy has run out). If it is thrown away or disappears then you sit quietly, feel the energy of the spell and instead of putting energy into it you pull the energy out and right back into you. IF it's a left handed spell (negative) then pull it out and see it breaking up and dissipating. Then the ingredients are just "things again"

So my point is the ingredients are NOT magic, YOU are the magic. The ingredients are just a tool.

All of the above originated with u/merespell on reddit.  

(I did edit it, but I did not add anything above the GIF)

This sounds like it comes from Wicca, and while I’m not Wiccan, I find a lot of the theory very interesting and useful.  Here are the places I have questions and comments:

Must one “cut” energy using some kind of tool?  Is that a specifically Wiccan practice?

I don’t necessarily send my energy “like a bullet” or “like a torpedo.”  I’m interested in others’ spellcasting and energy practices.

I think you can screw a spell up, and before you cast you need to consider how it might go wrong and how you might repair that.

I think taglocks work.  I am enamored with the idea that if you are sensitive enough you can go without, but I think for those who are new to witchcraft, if you’re aiming at a specific person, a taglock is more accurate.

It’s true that the main power that “runs” the spell comes from the intent of the caster.  It’s true that if you collect ingredients without intent (or without enough clarity of intent) it might not do anything.  But there is also some innate power in everything that exists and to state unequivocally that the items used in a spell have NO power of their own is an idea I cannot get behind.  That power might not have any effect if you don’t direct it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

What do other witches think about the ideas presented by /u merespell and my commentary?

(Edited after I realized I put /r instead of /u 🤬)

[ori-flails]

Rewatching Guardian - Episode 03 Part 3/3

Episode List || Part 1 | Part 2 || Episode 04

SPOILERS for upto episode 40, SPOILERS for the novel.

No, Shen Wei gets you. He understands all too well. Zhao Yunlan to Shen Wei is what Zhang Ruonan is to Wang Yike.

This had me so confused the first time. Why did she attack Shen Wei? Is it that he was close to Zhang Ruonan but had no idea what had happened/didn’t help her? Or is it that she thinks because they’re close Shen Wei would take advantage of Zhang Ruonan in the future? Why did she think that and she decided to kill him on what basis?

But then I got it. Earlier in the episode, when Zhang Ruonan had run up to Shen Wei to talk about switching for the engineering 4 class, Shen Wei had offered her the cake he got from that class because he doesn’t eat sweets.

At that time Wang Yike was watching. Giving cakes is a normal, nice gesture in Haixing. But Wang Yike is new to Haixing customs and stuff. The only correlation to “giving cake” she has is what happened to Zhang Ruonan. And the cake was being given to Zhang Ruonan again.

That’s why she decided to come for Shen Wei.

I only realized after noticing the blurry red blob on the stars in the background and then the strange camera angle in the next shot, which turns out to be from Wang Yike’s perspective.

From that distance, she probably couldn’t hear what was being said. So she didn’t know that Shen Wei didn’t get this cake to specifically give it to Zhang Ruonan. This doesn’t help with the misunderstanding.

... Such acting, much wow... (Not you, Zhu Yilong, you did great <3)

Zhao Yunlan, careful, your Concerned Boyfriend is showing. xD

W-Where did her lipstick go...? And the eyeliner and mascara?? Did Wang Yike suck that up too???

And, like... that’s some awful old-person makeup... It’s so bad I can’t. You can tell the wrinkles are drawn on. TT~TT

I’m sorry, but I just cannot deal with this. Why would her lipstick disappear?! xD

“I don’t know”, not “It’s not possible”. Hm. Okay.

Let’s remember this for later.

Zhang Ruonan! Did not! Deserve! Any of this!

QAQ

A lot of people see these two as being romantically involved, and to those people I say: Your opinion is valid. V_V *sage nod*

I see it now that I read someone mention it in a comment.

OH

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS

So I think this means that Zhu Jiu sowed the seed of vengeance in Wang Yike’s mind. It’s been a month since the incident and Wang Yike only started to take revenge now. And it can’t be that Zhang Ruonan just didn’t share it with her until now because the two are obviously very close.

And Zhu Jiu’s involvement could also have something to do with Wang Yike attacking Shen Wei. It might not have been just because of the cake giving.

Zhu Jiu didn’t know that Shen Wei was Hei Pao Shi at this point though. He still could’ve instigated Wang Yike to overthink the gesture and kill Shen Wei because the more trouble there is, the better it is for him apparently.

Idk. The villains’ plans never made much sense to me tbh. I got the general idea but why they’d do small stuff like these, I have no idea.

But how did Zhu Jiu know Professor Shen neutralized Wang Yike’s power?

Here’s a horrifying thought. Everytime there’s a view from outside the office into it from an odd place, that’s Zhu Jiu’s spy’s POV. 

You could argue that Shen Wei would notice with his Dixing senses, and to that I say: Dixingren powers.

Anyway, just a thought.

Ugh Zhu Jiu stop, you’re cringey.

Lin Jing is right.

That’s exactly what happened, Zhu Hong. xD

Yayy! They get a happy ending!

... Kinda. See, Zhang Ruonan is still very “old”. Unless her condition is fixed, she’s gonna die very soon because she’s just a regular human.

And I was pretty bummed out about it before I rewatched the episode. But while watching I realized that the show ended Zhang Ruonan and Wang Yike’s story with an open end instead of a sad one like I thought it did.

Earlier Zhao Yunlan told Wang Yike that if she can take it, she can give it back too, and she said she didn’t know how to.

If at some point Shen Wei ‘learns’ Wang Yike’s power with his own, learns the ins and outs of it, then Zhang Ruonan can be cured.

I assume that because Shen Wei probably learnt so many powers over the course of his life, he would find it easier to figure it out than Wang Yike.

There are other factors like if Shen Wei learnt the power, would he be able to pause it or would he not have any control over it like Wang Yike., or like if there is a limitation to what kind(s) of powers he can’t learnt, etc.

This is the first case where we get to see Hei Pao Shi daren let Dxingren under his watch go. ^u^

Something that keeps bugging me, though, is that in every other cases, Wang Yike’s powers seem to take effect and kill immediately. So how come after getting touched, Zhang Ruonan still stayed alive for long enough to be shifted to the sofa, exchange touching words and loving touches, share precious memories and for Shen Wei to save her?

Had Zhang Ruonan really developed some level of resistance to Wang Yike’s powers after having spent so long with her? Or was this a sloppines from the writers?

Xiao Guo is so precious.

Shen Wei... Q~Q

Zhao Yunlan... QAQ

XIAO GUO...! TTATT

Famous last words from Zhao Yunlan lmao.

(I’m so sorry, I put the screenshots in the wrong order when making the collage asdfhjkl I only noticed now that I’m making the post. The mere thought of putting in the work to making another one on my phone and getting it to my computer is draining me so please excuse this. Dx)

Shen Wei putting on his glasses to shift to Professor Shen mode.

This made me so tense the first time.

Zhao Yunlan just had to go and get a crush on someone as suspicious as Professor Shen didn’t he. xD Poor thing. V_V xD

He looks so upset and done at the end lol

I’m only laughing now cuz I know what happens next. But even so, I’m tempted to start episode 4 RIGHT NOW cuz the suspense is bothering me.

Zhu Jiu, congratulations on being somewhat intimidating again!

Oof. This episode was an absoulute nightmare when it came to taking screenshots. The characters, specially Zhang Ruonan, move so fast that the screenshots are either blurry and awkward when there are suitable subtitles, or I just miss something because it gets too fast to take a screenshot of.

[crapitskizaru]

X Dino x Fem!Reader x Hawkins

do you ever just sit and wonder what life would be like if u were in a poly relationship with drake and hawkins?? yeah I do too 😔😔

bro the idea of hawkins and dino boi drake having to share the same fem!s/o and going to hot springs together and just pure shenanigans happening has been haunting me for too long i swear on god 😔😳

Warning: bro......yes + idgas that they arent actually this dumb in canon

Word Count: 1,2k

“Move over.” 

“There is a spot on the other side.” 

“But I want this spot.” 

You sighed. The two headliners had been bickering among themselves for the whole afternoon already, and nothing indicated they had any intentions to stop. If you were to ignore their sarcastic remarks, however, the slight humming of the hot springs you were currently occupying could be very relaxing. 

“I’m trying to enjoy my evening, Drake. So far, you’re the one who’s successfully ruined it.” 

“It’s because you’re taking all the bubbles for yourself.”

It was Hawkins turn to sigh heavily as he sunk lower into the hot spring, leaving only his head above the water level. His hair looked notably soft, drifting lazily all around him. 

“What bubbles?” 

“Your spot is the only one that has them,” Drake muttered, trying to sound unbothered, although a quick glance in his direction convinced you that he was, indeed, very bothered. He still hasn’t entered the pool, toddling around its edges for quite a while already. 

“He’s not going to let it go. You should move, for the sake of world peace,” you smirked to Hawkins. He looked so comfortable in the water, you couldn’t help but listen to his gaze that silently screamed ‘help me’.

“Drake?” chiming, you let your legs show just an inch below the water level and wiggled them playfully. “There’s a spot right next to me. Don’t you want to join in?”

He mumbled incoherent sentences under his breath, which meanings you couldn’t really make out, but obediently submerged into the water right next to you after less than a second of hesitation.

You thought the two devil fruit users wouldn’t be able to last long in the water, but apart from some buds of sweat glistening on Drake’s temples and a weak sigh of content coming from Hawkins, they didn’t show any signs of weariness. 

Resting your head back against the edge of the pool, you let your body flow all the way upwards and tried to clean your mind of worried thoughts. Right there, engulfed by the warm water and surrounded by not one but two of the strongest soldiers of the Yonkou, you felt as if there was no other place on Earth you’d rather be in. 

As sneakily as possible, you peeked over to your left, where constant splashing of water and fidgety movements signaled that Drake still couldn’t find his zen. The strong beams of sunlight reached his pale skin through the surface, his ab muscles on full display for anyone to admire. Only when your eyes traveled a bit lower - for no other reasons that the courtesy’s sake, of course - you noticed his hawaiian shorts has gotten him into a slight predicament, ballooning up with air and making him resemble a human souffle. 

You really didn’t mean to giggle, but the sight was simply too entertaining as he desperately tried to smooth his shorts out underwater. 

“Do you want me to help with this?” you asked, raising a taunting eyebrow. Somewhere on your right, the blonde magician chuckled. 

Drake’s face immediately turned pink, his hands latching into his thighs and to the fabric of his pants, as if everything was already solved. He kept his gaze everywhere but on you. 

“Uh, I think I got this-”

“Maybe you should take them off,” Hawkins suggested calmly, observing in clear amusement the blush on Drake’s face raise with each second.

“And maybe you should mind your own business.” 

As much as you loved to relax your limbs in the warm water, the perspective of exploring Drake’s body and indulging in making him as embarrassed as possible seemed far more entertaining. 

So you didn’t feel any kind of guilt when wiggling over in water and placing yourself on his lap, your hands landing on his thighs and slowly rubbing along them, straightening out the shorts. 

“Is that better?” you asked quietly, glancing up at him. The blank expression on your face you worked so hard on maintaining evaporated in a blink when you saw how red his cheeks were, your laughter echoing around the springs. 

“You’re tormenting him, (Name).” Hawkins hadn’t as much as shifted from his spot, but that didn’t stop him from watching his colleague getting tortured for fun. “Everyone already knows he can’t handle a half-naked person in front of him.” 

His teasing must have snapped Drake out of his delusional state as he barked out. “Not everyone knows that-”

“Even Kaido knows.” 

You watched Drake’s face become suddenly drained of all color. “No,” he gasped quietly. “You told him?” 

A delicate smirk was all of a reply he got from Hawkins. As much as you enjoyed their little exchange, you couldn’t help but feel the warmth of Drake’s thighs against yours and the hardened skin on his chest underneath your fingers. 

The warm water dripped down your arm when you lifted your hand to tangle in his hair, caressing his warm lips with your own. His whole body twitched in surprise and when you pulled back a bit, he looked utterly smitten. 

“Mmh, doesn’t he look tense?” you asked Hawkins, lacing your voice with exaggerated worry. “Hawkins-san?” 

Your last addition carried an intended effect as Drake choked on his saliva and started to awkwardly cough. During this little show, Hawkins smoothly swam over to you two - you couldn’t stop yourself from admiring how soft and delicate his hair looked, reflecting the beams of sunlight, and how perfect the contours of his face seemed. 

“I know just the way to make him relax,” he hummed. It was his turn to cup Drake’s face and deliver a long kiss to his lips, the sight itself waking a surge of excitement in your belly as you caressed Drake’s chest slowly, making sure he gets as much pleasure from your touches as possible. 

His breath turned heavy from the kiss and the sweat mixed with water glistened on his skin. He tried to say something but reason escaped him entirely when he broke the kiss, his eyes landing on you. 

You gasped - much louder than you’d have wanted - when Drake leaned in and buried his face in your neck, your perception seemingly heightened when it dawned on you just how close the two headliners were, their bodies warm and begging to be touched. 

Drake’s arm sneaked around your waist, slowly, hesitantly, his other hand reaching up to your hair and stroking it gently. And when Hawkins seized the opportunity to lick your lips and dive deep into the kiss, your thighs gripped Drake’s lap tighter from stimulation.

The sensations were absolutely exhilarating - you would love nothing else than to get rid of the already skimpy clothing you had on to expose yourself in front of those two and observe their reactions. 

Hawkins’ hand was halfway to rub against your inner thigh when, all of a sudden, a disapproving voice ended your little heaven, making all three of you jump in surprise - Drake finally looked up from your neck, his gaze confused as if he forgot you were in a public place. 

“Kaido-san requests your presence!” the soldier yelled, coming closer. “Immediately!” 

Hawkins sighed, pulling away. 

“Then we’ll continue this another time.” 

[omgjasminesimone]

Tequila Sunrise Part IV

Previous Part: Part III

Next Part: Epilogue

Logan x MC

Author’s Note: Final part! Thanks to everyone who read, liked, commented, and reblogged!

Summary: 10 years have passed since Logan and Ellie last saw each other. After a brief unexpected reunion, they part ways again. But now, Ellie is back and Logan finally has a reason to stay.

Word Count:  1750

Logan and Paul set the couch down in the rented U-haul trailer, both men wiping sweat from their brows.

Logan looks around appreciatively. “That’s the last big thing. Thanks for your help man.”

Paul smiles. “Of course. Don’t be a stranger Logan, stay in touch.” Paul grasps Logan’s hand, pulling him in and patting his back in a half hug.

Logan smiles. “I will.” He promises, though he knows he won’t. He never does.

Paul leaves with a friendly wave, and Logan gets to work gathering the last few boxes. He would have moved soon anyway, but Ellie knowing where he is has increased the urgency.

It’s been three months since he dropped her off at the restaurant, forcing himself to drive away instead of running after her, pulling her into his arms, and never letting her go like he really wanted to. He knows it was the right decision, no matter how much it hurt. He knows she’s probably hurting too, and he’s afraid she’ll come back here to find him. He hopes she won’t. That she’ll realize how much better off she is without him. But if she does come back, he doesn’t think he has it in him to turn her away again, although he knows that he should, that he has to.

So he’s moving again. He really liked Puerta Vallarta, but he can’t stay in one place for too long. Can’t get too comfortable. He has to keep the Feds guessing.

He takes one last look around the empty hut, making sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. He smiles fondly, he had some good times here, but it’s time to move on.

He locks the door, leaving the key under the mat for his landlord, and brings one last box to his truck bed. He loads it in, and is about to close his truck bed door, when he hears a car coming. The taxi turns the corner, kicking up dust as it heads towards him. His heart initially soars, but as reality sets in it plummets instead.

He knows it will be her before she opens the door, but he still prays that somehow it’s not. That she’s not going to make him leave her, again. He’d prefer an FBI agent get out of the taxi and arrest him than having to say goodbye to her for a fourth heartbreaking time.

The door opens, and of course Ellie steps out. She’s wearing the Panama Canal shirt he gave her, paired with black leggings. The taxi driver gets out of the cab, going to the trunk and removing her large purple rolling suitcase. He places it on the dusty ground. “Muchas gracias.” Ellie chimes, handing the man a tip.  

She grips the handle, spotting him standing outside. Then she spots the U-Haul trailer. She shakes her head in disbelief, a huge grin spreading across her face as she rushes over, awkwardly pulling the suitcase across the unpaved dirt road. The taxi drives away.

“Going somewhere?” She asks when she reaches him.

“Ellie, you shouldn’t be here.” He says softly, eyes pleading with her to not make this any harder than it already is.

“I shouldn’t? Do you not see it, Logan? Fate, the universe, bringing us together?”

He sighs. “Ellie-“

She interrupts. “No Logan, listen. I didn’t even want to come to Mexico. I wanted to just wallow in San Francisco and feel sorry for myself after I found about Trent cheating. But Riya showed up to my apartment and personally drove me to the airport and made sure I got on the plane. We’re at the same very crowded bar, where we easily could have missed each other, but we don’t. We find each other. I go home, reluctantly, because ‘my life’ is in San Francisco, and then a month later my company goes bankrupt and lays everyone off. I get here now, and if I had been even 15 minutes later, I would have missed you. I assume I wasn’t going to be getting your new address?”

He sighs again. “No, Ellie. I wanted to move so you couldn’t find me. So you’d move on.” Logan admits.

Ellie nods. “Thought so. But fate obviously had different plans.” She reaches out, taking his hands. “Did you know that birth control is 99.9% effective when taken correctly?”

He had been looking at their clasped hands, but now his gaze returns to her pretty brown eyes.

“And you know how I am Logan. I’m very organized, very regimented. I never forget to take my birth control. I take it at the exact same time every morning, I take it correctly.”

His face drains of color as he starts to see where this is going.

“But despite that, and on top of all the other coincidences, with a .1 percent chance of this happening, I’m pregnant…..Oh my God Logan you look like you’re about to throw up. Maybe you should sit down.”

He all but collapses onto the still open truck bed door, beginning to hyperventilate.

Ellie stands between his legs, wrapping one arm around him and pulling him to her, his head resting on her chest. She uses her free hand to gently run her fingers through his short brown hair. “Breathe baby.” She soothes.

“Are you sure it’s not Trent’s?” He asks softly. Even if Trent is an asshole, at least he’s not a wanted felon.

She stops running her fingers through his hair, clearly irritated he would even ask. “No Logan, it’s yours. It’s ours.”

He pulls away slightly, looking up at her with tears in his eyes. “Fuck, Ellie. I’m so sorry.” They should have used a condom, he should have made sure this didn’t happen. God, what a mess. How could they possibly bring a child into this situation? He squeezes his eyes shut, turning his head down as he thinks. His negative thoughts are interrupted when she grips his chin, forcing him to look at her.

“Stop thinking whatever you’re thinking. I’m not sorry Logan. I want this baby. I want you. Don’t you see? This happened for a reason. Because this is the only way that you would ever stop running from me, from us. You want to protect me, you think you’re doing the right thing, keeping your distance. But do you think it’s really the right thing if it’s making us both miserable?”

“Of course it’s the right thing Ellie. Being with me would cost you everything. I love you too much to let you give up everything for me.”

“That’s my point. This baby will be the one thing you love just as much, if not more, than me. You want to leave for me, but you have to stay for your child. You’re not the kind of man who can walk away. Not when you know what it’s like to not have a father.” Ellie reasons.

“I have to leave for our child too. We can’t do this Ellie, we’d be raising a child on the run. What happens when he or she starts school? We make them leave all their friends every year?”

“Maybe we don’t have to be on the run.” She says softly, wiping away the tears that are starting to run down his cheeks.

He looks at her, trying not to allow himself to hope, not wanting to be disappointed. “How?”

“Not to bruise your ego, but you’re not really a major bust for the FBI. They got the Brotherhood, and you were a minor when you committed most of the crimes they know about. At this point, they just want to close the case. My Dad says in a few months he might be able to negotiate a plea deal that would get you off with probation.”

“Your Dad would do that for me?” The disbelief is evident in his voice. He hasn’t forgotten about the loaded gun Detective Wheeler pointed in his face when he saw him last.  

She loops her arms around his shoulders, drawing him in close once again. “No, not for you. For his grandchild. He wanted me to tell you that. He’s actually pretty mad at you.”

Logan wraps his arms around her, tracing patterns in her back. “Yeah, I’d imagine.”

“But he’ll come around eventually once he gets to know you. Now that there’s a baby, he knows you’re not going anywhere so he’ll have to get used to you.”

“I don’t know how to be a father Ellie. I never had one. Closest thing to a father figure even was Kaneko. What if I’m terrible at it?” Logan asks, with so much insecurity that it breaks Ellie’s heart.

“Logan, no one knows how to be a parent until they’re a parent. But I know you’re going to be a wonderful father. You love so deeply and always put everyone else before yourself. Our baby is so lucky to have you.” She assures.  

“I’m the lucky one. I never could have imagined that this would actually happen. That I could actually have you…We’re having a baby.” His voice trails off, thick with emotion.

She smiles, kissing the top of his head. “I used to daydream about this, back in the day. Of course, in my dreams we were married.”

He smirks, looking up at her. “Was that a hint?”

She shrugs. “Take that however you want to.”

He lifts her shirt, exposing the barely-there baby bump. But it is there. This is real. They have a future. He places adoring kisses over her stomach, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I love you so much Ellie.”

“I love you too.” They hold each other for a few minutes before she steps away. “So, where are we moving?” She asks.

He stands up, kicking at the clamp to make sure the trailer is securely fastened to his truck. “Ensenada for now. If…I mean when I get that plea deal, we can go back to Los Angeles, or anywhere you want.” He replies.

She smiles. “Ensenada is only 200 miles from Los Angeles. My Dad will love that.” She turns to retrieve her suitcase, starting to lift it into his truck.

“Hey! That looks heavy and you’re pregnant!” Logan takes the suitcase from her, lifting it easily into the truck. It’s actually not that heavy.

Ellie places her hands on her hips. “Are you going to be like this the whole pregnancy?”

Logan smirks “Probably. Do you still want to be with me?”

She pretends to think on it. He laughs, pulling her to him so he can kiss her.

…

..

.

El Fin/The End (Although I might write an epilogue because I miss RoD)

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