#lexirose rambles as much as they write

[lexirosewrites]

it’s my two year Steddie-versary today?!!!

(which means I’m gonna ramble emotionally for a little bit)💛

I’m not really sure how to fully describe the last two years of my life and my involvement in the steddie fandom, but I’ll try!

I remember watching season four of ST and really liking Eddie, thinking he was so cool. I’d always liked Steve, but putting them together was a whole different story. And then I recall seeing fanart, finding a couple fics here and there.

I wasn’t aware how deep I’d gotten until I was drafting a fic of my own, eager to join the fun any way that I could. It had been years since I’d written anything of my own, but I was lonely and bored enough to try.

I drafted my first fic “All Through The Night” for a month.

I wrote it. Rewrote it. Edited it. Doubted whether it should stay in the drafts. Finally, I just hit post.

From there, it kept going. I’d write a few non-omegaverse fics based on TikTok prompts. Then, I’d end up delving into the omegaverse trope in a way I never had before.

I started to remember how much I enjoyed writing and I found a community that was kind to me. I made friends in the AO3 comments of all places!

It was a few months before I joined ST twitter in December of 2022, but I was encouraged to hang out and make more friends.

(I don’t need to rehash the bad parts of my experience because I think we’re all pretty aware of what happened. But I don’t want those things to define me or spoil all the good that’s come from this fandom either. Bullies don’t get to take this from me.

I wasn’t super active on Tumblr prior to my Twitter leave because I didn’t really understand the app😅 we figured it out eventually and I am so grateful to have been welcomed here when I was feeling so low.)

I figured out a lot about myself in this fandom! I identified as a cis, bi-questioning woman when I started writing!! That’s insane to me now!

But I found a place to explore and meet other queer people and ask questions that I would’ve never asked!

I was leading worship at a mega church when I posted my first fic. I was freshly separated from my ex-husband and still hurting immensely. I was working through a pandemic as a nurse and hating my life. I didn’t have much that brought me joy anymore.

This silly gay ship probably saved my life…

And I know I’ve been semi-MIA as far as posting to AO3 the last several months, but I have no intentions of leaving this fandom anytime soon. I will not abandon my fics or disappear. I just need a little bit of a break because I burnt myself out on writing for a year and a half!

God this post went way too long. Oops.

Okay! In summary! Today is my two year Steddie-versary and I love you all!!! I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made and the support I’ve had to share my stories.

(also tbh I cannot believe I tricked this many of you into reading mpreg)

[lexirosewrites]

i’m not even going to tag them because they don’t deserve anyone’s attention, but if you see that stupid fucking gossip blog going around on here, please block it! it’s just someone coming to live out their Regina George fantasy and bully others to feel better about themselves. this exact same bullshit already happened on twitter and it’s both the reason i almost left this fandom and the reason my mental health got to an all-time low last year. we don’t need more hate and cruelty in our fandom than we already have. let’s spend our time uplifting others, promoting our favorite fics, and reblogging art to show our enthusiasm, not making an online ‘Burn Book’ where we trash talk others and make them want to leave entirely. i love you guys, but if this glorified bullying is something you support, i’m asking that you unfollow and even block me entirely because i want nothing to do with that shameful and truly ugly behavior💛

[lexirosewrites]

hey guys, i’m gonna shut off anon asks for a while because even though i refuse to respond to the unkind words sent to me, i shouldn’t have to keep reading them when they’re just plain mean

i’ve been getting a lot of shitty things in my asks lately and idk why anyone thinks that’s a good use of their time, but it’s bullying, plain and simple. please be kind, even if you don’t like someone. my life is literally hard enough without dealing with this stuff too. and the block button is indeed still free of charge to use!💛

[lexirosewrites]

making an executive decision to turn anon submissions back on each saturday night (and then off again on sunday nights) in order to allow you guys to submit things for slick sunday anonymously

slick sunday is moving forward tomorrow, despite some upsetting personal shit going on right now, but please excuse my less cheery mood because i had to cut my vacation short from four days to one and i’m not super peppy at the moment!

[lexirosewrites]

Did I finish my fic today? Nope! But the better question is: did I redo my quote board on my writing desk?🤠

Anyway, here’s a teeny tiny snippet of “Keep Digging (UYFMHBNTYITG)” and part of the real title since the whole thing wouldn’t fit💛

I really need to post a full updated photo of my steddie shrine soon. I think I have like 50 pieces of art, around 35 Funko pops, all sorts of keychains, plushies, 3 backpacks, numerous stickers and zines. It’s funny how deep I still am in this hyperfixation for how little I’m writing!!!

[lexirosewrites]

I love tumblr for the ability to not pay attention to follower counts because I hardly look at mine (and the fact that you can’t see anyone else’s is great too), but also I hit 2.8k followers today and that is a big deal to me in the sense that it’s how many followers I had on Twitter before I deleted my old account.

Idk idk something about rebirth and happy things and moving on in life after hitting a low point last July?? Anyways thank you guys for sticking around for my weird shit and also not mentioning my long writing hiatuses that kinda happen by accident sometimes.

[lexirosewrites]

i turn 29 in two weeks... what the actual fuck happened to the passing of time🤠

[lexirosewrites]

gonna have to skip “Slick Sunday” tomorrow because i’m working the weekend and i’ve had an awful day because of twitter drama (yeah i know you guys are like, “Lexi, why do you even bother over there? they are terrible to you all the time!” and that’s so valid, idk the answer). need a little break from fandom shit! be nice to each other and we’ll be back again next sunday!

[lexirosewrites]

Booping is the best thing ever created and I will be so sad when it’s gone because it’s bringing me so much unbridled joy right now💛

[lexirosewrites]

I want you all to know that for the past two years on April Fool’s Day I’ve debated about making a post including an AO3 draft and pretending to post a 100k word steddie fic with an amazing summary and super appealing tags, but it felt too cruel to do that, especially when I’ve been so fucking awful at updating lately.

I just know some of you would be like “wow that explains why you’ve been absent🥰” and I’d probably cry about it

[lexirosewrites]

It’s a little funny that I have 2.7k followers here vs like 300 on twitter and I still feel safer here. Anyways, I love you guys and I’m feeling very grateful to have been welcomed on tumblr seven months ago.

It’s been a busy two days catching up with old acquaintances and friends on the bird app and figuring out that less people hated me than I was thinking. Sometimes those few people are just very loud and mean. Thanks for being cool and tolerating me🥺

[lexirosewrites]

Did a very scary thing and took my twitter/X account off private today. We’ll see how it goes! If anyone wants the link/missed that I rejoined, here it is: Twitter 💛

[lexirosewrites]

Fanfic writers, in case nobody has told you this lately: there’s no punishment for writing out-of-character in your fics. It’s okay if you smudge some details and personalities to make your story work (it’s actually just okay to do whatever you want because it’s your story). Anyone who complains was just looking for something to whine about in the first place. We do this for free and it costs zero dollars for someone to move on to another fic if they don’t like yours!

[lexirosewrites]

there's nothing like destroying your targeted ads by researching a highly specific topic that doesn't apply to you all so you can write your gay fanfics

[lexirosewrites]

Do you ever write a line in a story and immediately read it back to yourself, think "that's fucking disgusting," and then just keep going because you're secretly proud of your own depravity? Ha ha yeah, no, me neither...

[lexirosewrites]

My energy of responding to AO3 fic comments 2-3 months after they’re left feels an awful lot like that person showing up to the last hour of a party with a half eaten bag of chips as their contribution. You don’t have to appreciate the way I do things, but at least I do them.