#lewis capaldi smut

[stellatekintsugi]

Lewis Capaldi

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good to Say Goodbye (SNEAK PEEK)

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cursing, Hurt/Comfort & Implied Smut

(THIS IS A SNEAK PEAK! IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ONE BUT ENJOY THIS LITTLE SNEAK PEAK IM GIVING YOU) I also have a lengthy Logan smut in my drafts but I'm no where NEAR done yet.

Summary: Y/N is tired of constantly being dissed by Logan and he doesn't seem to care, at least not until it's too late.

(it’s uploaded now)

F1 masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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I clasp my jacket closer to my body as I wait for Logan to open the door of our shared apartment. It's pouring rain and my dumbass forgot the keys, I sigh as I pull my phone out, dialing my lovers number.

one ring

two rings

three rings

four- declined.

*new text from "Logie Bear🐻💙"*

Logie Bear🐻💙: Babe I'm on the sim, give me a few.

Me: I'm out here in the pouring rain and I left my key, You said you'd unlock the door 5 minutes ago.

Logie Bear🐻💙: You fucking made me crash.

Logie Bear🐻💙: I'm coming.

A scoff leaves my lips as I shove my phone into my soak jean pockets that stuck to my skin, a few minutes later I hear the lock click and the door swigs open revealing a less than happy Logan.

"Damn, were you watching our home videos while waiting for me to open the door?" Logan laughed as he took in a soaked me before side stepping so I could walk in.

"I've been outside for 10 fucking minutes in the pouring rain Logan and you're making jokes?" I almost screamed at him

Unbelievable, all I do for him and this is how he treats me?

"Woah babe, take a joke," Logan starts before his phone starts ringing "Yeah? Oh for sure, right now? Uh huh, Okay I'll hop on. Yup yup, just give me 5. I'm grabbing a snack" with that Logan hung up the phone "I'm hoping back on the sim with the boys, so just take a shower and dry the floors, you're ruining the wood."

I wanted to scream, I'm ruining the floors? I wouldn't be ruining the floors if you would've opened the door 10 minutes ago like you fucking said you would.

I made my way into our shared room, grabbing my clothes and speaker before making my way to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom, I connected my phone to the speaker and started playing "Hold Me While You Wait" by Lewis Capaldi on a low volume before stripping out of the soaking wet clothes that stuck to my skin.

My shaking hand turned the tap to hot as the water started spurting out of the shower head, which made me sigh thinking about the shower head I gave Logan every time we showered together. Today makes 3 weeks since we last fucked, and that was also probably why I'm so aggravated at everything he does. All this pent up sexual tension between us is driving me crazy.

Before stepping into the now steamy shower I turned the volume up on the song currently playing. Once in the tub, I let all my problems wash off of me and down the drain as I let the boiling hot water hit my skin as I just stood under the warmth of it. After what felt like 3 minutes of pure bliss and silence I hear a faint knock at the door before hearing it open. Peaking my head out the shower curtain I'm greeted by Logan just standing by the door.

"Hey Logie, care to join me?" I said in a low & seductive voice, watching as he steps fully into the bathroom and closes the door. A victory smile makes its way on my lips as I pull myself behind the curtain once more, quickly lathering myself in foamy soap.

I can hear Logans footsteps getting closer to the shower, but instead of getting in I hear him pick up my phone, turn the volume down, set my phone back down and as he's leaving he mutters "Not tonight. Boys are on the game and they're complaining that your depressing songs are too loud."

Are you fucking kidding me?

That had been my last straw. In one quick movement I turn off the shower, throw my robe on and march out of the bathroom and into his sim room.

[walkingintheheartbreaksatellite]

God Only Knows

(Niall Horan x Oc)

A side Chapter to Flicker. (Will have important bits that will be important to the future of Niall and Emily.)

Summary: The one where Niall turns 30 and Harry can’t handle it.

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR SWEET BABY IRISH BEAN!!!

Emily’s pov

September 12, 2023🎈

Things have been a bit crazy for us lately. I’m officially unpacked and living with Niall has been a dream- well, when he’s home. With his birthday coming up, I have planned a small party as to not overwhelm him with how busy he’s been.

But lately, it’s been difficult doing much, especially when it involves food. I know what’s going on… I’m just hoping Niall will be happy.

Niall walks throw the door, leaving his suitcase at the door as he struts over to me and picks me up, twirling me me around as he hugs me tight.

“Someone missed me!”

He pecks my lips and sighs, lowering me down before he sets my feet back on the ground.”

“Ya know I did, Em. I know ya had to work… but I wish you could’ve come with me.”

He hugs me tight, his head on my shoulder and he sighs.

“I know. But it’ll be fine! Now shoo! I’ve got to finish some last minute stuff for your party and I think you need some sleep. I’ll make you some lunch in a bit and bring it upstairs. Leave your bags down here. I’ll wash your clothes and you can put the rest away later.”

He sighs and lifts his head up, pecking my forehead before trudging his way up the stairs. I start the laundry and then start on his lunch when Harry comes in through the front door, carrying a box. I turn down the heat on the stove and rush over to help him.

“Did you get everything?”

He puts the box down and nods.

“Everything you ordered. Decorations, plates and all that. Balloons were ordered and I’ll pick ‘em up tomorrow.”

I smile and nod.

“Thanks Harry, I really appreciate this. I’ll get the balloons though. Why don’t you join Niall and Lewis tomorrow morning? Niall wants to teach him to golf. I’m sure it’ll be comedic.”

“Are you sure? That’s an awful lot to do on your own. I know it’s a small party but still- at least call one of your friends to help if not myself.”

“I got it! I’ve planned many a party in my day. My old roommates are coming and they’re helping set up, but everyone else is out of town. They sent presents though. Which I still have to wrap. But it’ll be fine!”

He sighs and nods. He gives me a side hug, patting my head before leaving.

September 13th, 2023🎈

Niall was out the door early with a small peck to my lips, leaving me with plenty of time to prepare.

I put on some music and get to work, cleaning the house and decorating. Zach, Aleks and Jenny arrived at about 10, with the party at 3 and we all got down to work. By the time we finished, cake and food set, my mom and Pedro had arrived, Kelly following behind them.

Kelly gives me a big smile and a hug as she comes through the door.

“Girly! Look at you! Damn! And everything looks great! Niall is gonna love it.”

I give her an anxious smile and bite my lip.

“I hope so. He should be here in just a minute. Oh shit- the presents! I forgot to wrap them!”

I give her a small hug and with Jenny behind me, I race up the stairs to wrap all his presents, including his special present. By the time I come back down, Niall is standing in the den with Harry and Lewis by his side. He sees me from across the room and gives me his signature smile that always gives me butterflies.

“There’s m’ girl! Come gimmie a kiss!”

I laugh and make my way over to him, hugging him and pecking his lips, noting the obvious smell of alcohol on him, Guinness as per usual.

“Well it seems like you had fun. Let’s get you some water. I think all three of you could use it.”

He chuckles and keeps an arm wrapped around my waist as we make our way to the kitchen. Once Niall, Harry and Lewis have some water in their system, we start the festivities.

“Alright birthday boy. Make a wish.”

“Petal, I’m 30. I’m not a boy… I’m a man.”

I snort and shake my head before pecking his cheek.

“Oh, a very manly man. Now blow out your candles before wax melts all over the pretty cake I made you.”

He laughs and nods and takes a deep breath, ready to blow out his candles. Before he can, we hear a sniffle to the right of us. I turn my head and see Harry, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Harry… are you crying?”

“It’s not fair! Why do we have to turn 30?! First Niall… and I’m next! ‘Ts not fair, Em!”

We all laugh and I shake my head. I walk over to him and give him a side hug.

“It’s okay, Harry. Just the way the world works.”

"But the universe and I had a deal.."

He pouts and I can’t help but snort. Aleks lays a hand on his shoulder, attempting to hold back his laughter.

“Harry, what are you complaining for, dude? You're at the freaking peak of your career!"

Harry frown and shakes his head.

“It’s all up hill until someone trips and falls flat on their face…”

I sigh and give him another hug, patting his back.

“Okay… I think you had a bit too much to drink. How about we get these candles blown out so you can have some of that cake? Sober you up? It’s sugar free…”

He chuckles and nods. Niall blows out his candles and squeezes my hand with a small smile. I serve up some cake and ice cream and I finally sit down next to Niall, who pecks my cheek.

“Thanks for this, Petal. You really didn’t have to…”

I peck his lips and smile.

“I know I didn’t. I wanted to. You made mine the most memorable I’ve ever had… I wanted to do something for you. I know you weren’t especially excited about this one… But I’m so, so happy you decided to celebrate. I want to celebrate you. I’m thankful for you, Ni. Everyday with you. Happy birthday, babe.”

He smiles and plants a passionate kiss to my lips. We all talk and laugh as we eat, until it’s time for presents. Niall laughs as he opens each present slowly, until he gets to the last present. He opens the box and he’s quiet for a minute before he looks at me.

“Em… You’re serious? Y-You’re—.”

I remain silent, only nodding as I nervously wait for his reaction. He stands up and takes me, hugging me tight. I sigh in relief, hugging him back, letting the tears fall down my cheeks. He pulls away slightly and kisses me, tears slowly falling down his cheeks as mine continue to fall.

He pulls away and wipes his tears, before turning to everyone who stand there with confused expressions. Niall takes my hand, a smile on his face.

“We’re pregnant!”

Gasps and claps echo through the room, my mom bursting into tears. Niall hugs me tight and smiles as he caresses my cheek.

“Not that I’m not happy Em, I promise I am… but how? You’re on the shot, right?”

I sit down and Niall takes a seat next to me.

“I was. But I noticed I wasn’t feeling well and I was late. So… I went just in case. Apparently… the batch I got a couple months ago was part of a batch that wasn’t fully developed. So it didn’t work all the way. And well… now we’re here. I know we’ve only talked a few times and neither of us wanted kids this soon-.”

He pecks my lips to silence me before he shakes his head.

“It’s perfect. I promise. No matter what… Our baby will be so loved… And honestly… I’ve never loved you more…”

I tear up, cuddling into his side as he holds me close. He rests a hand on my stomach, rubbing it as we sit quietly in our bliss, awaiting the times ahead.

>>>————————->

Enjoy the Flicker crumbs lovelies! Chapter six is in the drafts but hopefully they’ll be back soon!

Tag list

@be-with-me-so-happily @swiftmendeshoran @babyiamperfectforyou @freedomfireflies @kaminokatie @harrysmimi @violetsandfluff @fruitmans @fruitmansrecs @harringtons-honey @rafaaoli @kimmi-kat @erggggggggg @cayleyhannha-blog @acesofspadess @that-mcu-fan @styles-barnes-bitch @purple9950 @itslottiehere

[darylmydix]

THE SCARS WE SHARE | daryl dixon [m.list]

❝i looked for you…at the start. why’d you leave without sayin’ goodbye?❞

summary: you were the only good thing daryl had in his life. bonded by similar trauma, you suffered abuse at the hands of your stepmother, just as daryl had suffered from his own father. when you finally decide to escape your abusive home life, you’re forced to leave behind your best friend in the process. now with the world in an apocalyptic state, you’re left wondering if daryl was even alive.

pairings: daryl dixon x f!reader.

warnings: smut, violence, blood and gore, unrequited love, best friends to lovers, mentions of s/a, mentions of abuse, mention of suicidal thoughts/attempts, mention of drug use, use of deadly weapons, fluff, angst, slow burn, strong language, kidnapping, coercion, seasons 5-11, 18+, minors dni.

playlist: keep holding on - avril lavigne | already gone - kelly clarkson | hanging on - emilee moore | through the trees - low shoulder | skin - zola jesus | obstacles - syd matters | home to you - fka twigs | words - skylar grey | two is better than one - boys like girls | back to december - taylor swift | how to save a life - the fray | for the love of a daughter - demi lovato | confessions of a broken heart (daughter to father) - lindsay lohan | all my dreaming - emma russack | souvenir - boygenius | heaven i know - gordi | afraid of nothing - sharon van etten | halley’s comet (outro)/halley’s comet (outro slowed) - billie eilish | santa monica dream - angus and julia stone | here with me - d4vd | dark side - kelly clarkson | rush - lewis capaldi | hold me while you wait - lewis capaldi | war of hearts - ruelle | medicine - daughter | reader’s theme song - leslie stevens.

©darylmydix. please do not repost.

000 | 001 | 002 | 003 | 004

[farfromstrange]

Matt Murdock || Masterlist

Find Me On AO3

⤹ NAVIGATION.

🫀 -> comfort for the aching hearts

🔥 -> Smut/explicit sexual content (18+ MINORS DNI)

🌻 -> Fluff

💧 -> Angst

🪐 -> All fics set in the universe of my longest and ongoing work Foreigner's God

⤹ ONE SHOTS:

☽ Sleep [matt murdock x reader] 🫀

✑ she can’t sleep and he’s there to make sure she’s alright.

☽ Costumer Service [matt murdock x afab!reader] 🔥🫀

✑ after a rough day at work, you lash out at your boyfriend. matt being matt, he makes it his mission to give you what you need to relax.

☽ Late Night Talking [matt murdock x fem!oc] 🌻🪐

✑ eliza has the weirdest questions on her mind in the middle of the night. three times she wakes up matt to answer her questions and the one time matt wakes her with an important question.

☽ Spiders [matt murdock x fem!reader] 🌻

✑ matt finds a spider in the house and he refuses to kill it so his girlfriend has to step up to do the job. she hates it as much as he does.

☽ Long-distance [matt murdock x afab!reader] 🔥 🌻

✑ Matt buys you a long-distance remote vibrator so he can play with you while he’s away – but there is a twist! He has one too, and he wants you to play with him while he plays with you. All over the phone, no touching. You can’t say no to that offer.

☽ Gifted Kid Burnout [matt murdock x f!reader] 💧🫀

✑ she’s exhausted, burned out and he wants nothing more than to help her.

☽ Stay Quiet [matt Murdock x f!reader] 🔥

✑ porn without plot in which Matty fucks you in the office (and Foggy gets traumatized for life)

☽ For You [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥

✑ request: prompt 78 — loss of virginity (exactly what the prompt says it’s gonna be)

☽ Pointless [matt murdock x female!oc / matt x reader] 🌻 🪐

✑ song fic based on Pointless by Lewis Capaldi — a glimpse into how Matt views their relationship. (Part of the FG series, but no names are used)

☽ Ease The Pain [matt murdock x reader] 🔥🌻 🫀

✑ Matt helps to ease your period pains.

☽ Daddy Issues [matt murdock x reader] 💧🫀

✑ you flinch when Matt raises his voice for the first time and he learns about your daddy issues. Not the sexy kind.

☽ Angel On The Roof [matt murdock x reader] 💧 -> TW: SUICIDE

✑ Mental illness is silent until it isn’t, but then it’s often too late. Or, Matt accompanies a troubled stranger home on a couple of occasions, not realizing what he’s truly feeling until she’s already lost the battle against her own mind.

☽ Angel On The Roof (Your Version) -> Request; TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM but with a happy ending!

✑ What if Matt’s word did manage to talk you off the edge and you find a way out of the dark hole that is depression? This is ‘Angel On The Roof’ from your POV with a happy ending.

☽ Useless [matt murdock x reader]

✑ Matt finds you during a depressive episode and he takes care of you. 💧🫀

☽ Promise Me [matt murdock x ofc] 🪐

✑ Foreigner’s God One-Shot — tender moments shared at night

☽ Good Boys Deserve To Be Taken Care Of [matt murdock x afab!reader] 🔥

✑ Matt looks good in the mornings. He always looks good, but the object of your attraction lies a bit lower this time, and you want to worship him like he deserves. (Or, an ode to Matt’s beautiful ass and the attention it deserves.)

✑ Part 2 to this can now be read here.

☽ Are You Okay? [matt murdock x reader] 🫀

✑ Sometimes it takes just one question or one person to make your shitty day less shitty.

☽ Back To December [matt murdock x reader] -> Request 💧 TW: DEATH

✑ Everything and everyone eventually slips through Matt Murdock’s fingers, and he doesn’t manage to save you in this one. (Hurt/ no comfort)

☽ Narcissist [matt murdock x reader] -> Request 💧🫀 TW: DOMESTIC ABUSE

✑ Trying to catch a break from your abusive boyfriend, you find yourself seeking refuge and a drink at Josie's in the middle of the night. It's where you bump into Matt Murdock, a charming stranger with the promise of a night of fun. After taking you home with him, it doesn't take him long to discover the dark nature of your need to escape.

☽ Honest Mistake [matt murdock x reader] -> Request 🌻

✑ After a night at Josie's, Foggy spends the night. When Matt wakes up the next day to kiss you good morning, he soon realizes that it's not you who is lying next to him but rather Foggy himself.

☽ Tupperware [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥

✑ A conversation about kitchen supplies takes an unexpected turn…

☽ Matilda [matt murdock x f!reader] 💧🫀

✑ You tried moving on from your past, but some things still haunt you. Matt is there to comfort you and tell you that sometimes, it’s okay to just let it go, even if it’s your family.

☽ Brother [matt murdock x sister!reader] l -> Request 💧

✑ After an argument with Matt about something that seems so stupid now, you get kidnapped by a human trafficking ring and he has to save you, his sister, before something worse happens. He finds you battered and bruises, but at least you’re alive. (This is solely x sister!reader, nothing more)

☽ WORDLE [matt murdock x ofc] 🌻 🪐

✑ Eliza and Foggy play Wordle, and it soon turns into a very competitive game.

☽ Please, Be Okay [matt murdock x reader] 🫀💧

✑ When Matt doesn’t answer your texts or calls like he usually does, you start to expect the worst…

☽ You’re Losing Me [matt murdock x reader] 💧 -> Request

✑ Based on “You’re Losing Me” by Taylor Swift. You and Matt have a fight and you throw him out of the bedroom with a decision to make. The question is just, is he going to give up on you and prompt you to leave or will you two manage to fix what’s broken?

☽ Feisty [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥 -> Request

✑ Matt decides he has to show you your place after you two have an argument.

☽ Sub Space [matt murdock x f!reader] 🌻🔥 -> Request

✑ After particularly rough sex with Matt, you find yourself lost in sub space and he takes care of you.

☽ Slipping Through My Fingers [matt murdock x teen!vigilante!reader] 💧 -> Request (Not a ship fic!) TW: Death.

✑ You get caught by yours and Matt’s enemies and he can’t save you.

☽ Naughty Girl [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥 -> Request

✑ Messing around with Matt at work leads to an unwelcome interruption and your naughty side coming out, which Matt is not happy with…

☽ Cruel Revenge [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥 -> Request

✑ Matt decides to mess with you at work this time when Foggy and Karen come to visit… (kind of a part 2 to Naughty Girl)

☽ Sweeter Than Fiction [matt murdock x afab!reader] 🔥 -> Request

✑ You decide to learn Braille and buy a rather… unconventional book to put your knowledge to the test, and Matt gets suspicious about why a book gets more attention than he does (and gets you wet)

☽ Just Let Me Love You [matt murdock x f!reader] 💧🫀

✑ You're struggling with your body image. Matt comforts you.

☽ Focus [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥 -> Request

✑ Matt blindfolds you after you ask him to show you what it feels like to experience an orgasm blind.

☽ Is It Over Now? [matt murdock x neutral!reader] 💧

✑ inspired by “is it over now?” by Taylor Swift. Matt cheats on you and you deal with your thoughts. Slight Frank Castle x Reader and Elektra x Matt. (Warning: Matt slander. This is from the POV of someone who had their heart broken. Beware.)

☽ New Year’s Day [matt murdock x neutral!reader] 🌻

✑ Inspired by many Taylor Swift’s discography. You recount your relationship with Matt as he asks you an important question on New Year’s Eve.

☽ Sensory Deprivation [matt murdock x afab!reader] 🔥 -> Request

✑ You help Matt focus after the world gets just a little too much.

☽ Up Against The Wall [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥

✑ PWP. You and Matt do it against the window after you pissed him off. That's it.

☽ Unicorns Need Love Too [matt murdock x f!reader] 🌶️ (semi-spice)🌻

✑ You’re ovulating, and your hormones are not taking it easy on you. Matt is there to help. Kind of. He’s a little shit.

☽ S.M.S [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥

✑ Soft Morning Sex with Matt Murdock.

☽ Interview With The Vampire [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥🧛💧

✑ You are the first journalist to interview Hell’s Kitchen’s resident vampire vigilante after he requested you personally to tell his story. (…) As it turns out, interviewing a vampire is a lot more complex than you expected it to be, and Matthew Michael Murdock has set his mind on ruining you for any other man to come.

☽ Tumb v Printer [matt murdock x reader] 🌻

✑ You’re clumsy, and Matt is worried about you. Especially when you cut your thumb on the inside of a printer.

☽ Burden Me [matt murdock x reader] 💧🫀 TW: suicidal thoughts & depression

✑ You’ve been having a very hard time lately, but when Matt walks in on you breaking down and crying, he’s there to comfort you and urge you to finally talk about the thoughts that sometimes come to haunt you.

☽ What if the way you hold me is actually what’s holy? [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥

✑ you fantasize about Matt in the shower while he’s still at work only to find him suddenly right in front of you, ready to help you take care of your little problem.

⤹ ON-GOING SERIES:

☽ Foreigner’s God [matt murdock x fem!oc] 🪐 🌻 💧 🔥 ⇛ official tag is #foreigner’s god, if you want to search my profile! you should find all the chapters, previews, snippets, thoughts, etc. listed in chronological order.

☽ Total Eclipse Of The Heart [matt murdock x f!vampire!reader] 🔥🩸 ⇛ Part 1, 2, 3… ⇛ DARK FANTASY (dead dove do not eat) so you know what you’ll sign up for when you click the link. this shit filthy as hell. read at your own risk.

☽ Do No Harm [matt murdock x f!reader] 🌻 💧 🔥 ⇛ Doctor!Reader, slow-burn series

☽ Carpe Noctem [vampire!matt murdock x f!nun!reader] 💧🔥🩸 ⇛ Dead dove don’t eat, dark fantasy, no happy ending and a little bit of insanity…

⤹ HEADCANONS:

☽ Going on vacation with Matt Murdock [matt Murdock x afab!reader] 🔥 🌻

✑ what it would be like to go on vacation with our dear Matthew and his heightened senses (he really loves us in this one)

☽ Totally random Matt Murdock headcanons that keep me up at night [matt murdock x reader] 🔥 🌻

✑ some headcanons (6, to be exact) that keep me up at night

⤹ THOTS & BLURBS:

☽ Going to Fogwell’s with Matt… [matt murdock x f!reader] 🔥

☽ Switch!Matt thots [matt murdock x afab!reader] 🔥

☽ False God By Taylor Swift Thot [matt murdock x reader] 🔥

☽ Sub!Matt thot [matt murdock x reader] 🔥

⤹ EVENTS:

☽ Kinktober 2023 (Matt's Version) [matt murdock x afab!reader] 🔥

☽ Lizzi’s Valentine’s Special & Follower Celebration -> Introducing: The Vault 🔥 🌻 💧

[sc0tters]

The Last Goodbye | Mat Barzal

summary: you and Mat had been at opposing ends for weeks and with no clear truce in sight is it time for you two to call it quits?

song: burning - Lewis Capaldi

request: yes/no

warnings: mentions of sexual themes but no actual smut, mentions of game injuries, mentions of alcohol use.

word count: 2.1k

authors note: I’ve been DYING to write for Mat and actually put this song into the celly playlist hoping that someone would pick him… if you want to check out or be apart of the celly here is the playlist!

pt 2

Your love for Mat grew to consume you.

You had been in love with your boyfriend since the day you met him when you were both fifteen and now well into your twenties it hadn’t changed. Mat had asked you out in your apartment as you happened to be at university in New York.

The hockey player was the best boyfriend that you could have ever asked for he was there to listen and always made sure that you knew you were love.

That’s the type of couple you two were, the fans adored your signature monthly photo dumps that had scattered pictures showing your love for each other and highlighting your favourite memories from that month.

Which was why the fans were so shocked that from February May hadn’t made a single one of these dumps. Your usual Valentine’s Day date that gave you one of your favourite moments of the year. Not because Mat would pull out the biggest most extravagant stops, but because it was a whole day that you two would spend together away from everyone else.

It was a day that you two didn’t get the chance to spend as Mat was busy in the physios room as he tried to get his knee back in shape to return before the end of the season.

But when he learnt that it wasn’t a reasonable timeline for him the Canadian was quick to go down a destructive path. It started off with treating you like you were his roommate rather than his girlfriend. You didn’t know the last thing that he had kissed you or even hugged you. It then turned into him coming home at the stupid hours of the morning reeking of alcohol as he came home from whatever bar or club that he had spent his evening in.

Most nights you would just bite your tongue and would wait until he fell asleep before you’d go to cry in the bathroom.

The reason why you were so emotional was because you were losing the love of your life and there was nothing you could do about it. You were trapped in your front row seat to watch the spark disappear from Mat’s eyes and thus the spark from your relationship too. What made it so tough was that there was nothing you could do about it.

One night though when Mat bumped into your bed waking you up, you decided that you had enough “Mat?” You called out as you let out a yawn turning your bedside lamp on as you looked at him.

Mat showed no remorse as he was getting undressed “go back to bed,” his voice was stern as he pulled the shirt over his head.

It almost brought you a sense of comfort that there was no clear evidence that he was cheating on you. He might not love you anymore but to you at least he hadn’t slept with another girl yet.

You leaned against your headboard as you let out a sigh “where have you been?” You asked as he placed his hands on his hips.

The boy was clearly growing irritated “don’t worry about it,” he grumbled as he shook his head.

The pain you felt as you chewed at the inside of your cheek was just enough to take your mind off of the pain that you felt in your heart. It seemed like you couldn’t take him beating around the bush, so when he walked into the bathroom you followed him “do you even love me anymore?” The question made him stop his evening routine as he sent her a scowl in the mirror “don’t ask stupid questions,” Mat warned as he shook his head.

Your eyes began to water as you began to realise that he was falling out of love “I’m going to sleep in the guest room.” You announced as you grabbed your phone from the table.

All you wanted to hear was that Mat did love you, but not even a peep came from his lips.

That was the first night that started the span of two months where you slept in that guest bedroom.

You wanted to say that it was getting easier as his recovery was on a much better path than originally you didn’t want to lie, somehow it had actually gotten worse. The conversations between the two of you only entailed what your plans were for the day.

Sure you didn’t like it but you accepted it because it felt like a battle you would always lose if taken on.

What made it more challenging was when his mother came to town. You loved Nadia like she was your own mother, but this was going to be the hardest thing to force. You had come home and got the fright of your life when you came home to see Nadia smiling on the couch as she sat with Mat “hey baby,” the hockey player was quick to get up as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

The gesture caused you to flinch as your eyes went wide “hi Nadia!” You went through this internal stage of panic.

That week didn’t even end there, oh no, Mat was the Mat that you love. He was in your bed every night and the two of you even had the chance to have some proper conversations. Sure there wasn’t any intimacy, the fire in your relationship still hadn’t come back but you were ready to wait and take the baby steps.

The moment he left to drop his mom off at the airport you realised that you maybe weren’t ready to wait. You missed the way he had you gripping the headboard for dear life as he ate you out, or how he’d hold your boobs when he let you ride him. But most of all you missed the kiss that he’d place on your head as you came back to reality after a few rounds of sex, the laugh Mat would release when you locked eyes for the first time afterwards always sounded so heavenly.

So when he left you hopped into the shower to start your extensive shaving routine that you had on nights you thought you’d end up in your bed with no clothes on. You even had time to curl your hair. The outfit was easy, it was your orange lingerie with your little blue robe that the boy loved so much. Usually you only pulled it out after a big game.

Mat walked back into the house to see your ass in the air as you were getting ice for your drink “what’s all this for?” He asked in an amused tone as he cocked his head.

You took one of the blueberries from your glass so you could pop it into your mouth “you,” a smile formed on your lips as you pointed at him.

Reality was quick to burst the bubble that you had created over the last week “I’ve got to go meet up with the boys,” the hockey player explained as he looked at his watch to see that he was late.

The scoff that came from your lips was obvious “are you fucking serious?” Your mouth fell agape as you shook your head.

The hockey player furrowed his eyebrows “what’s wrong?” He frowned as he saw that you were upset.

During the conversation you had grown to realise something rough “you’re not even attracted to me anymore are you?” Not once since he had gotten back to the apartment had his eyes gone lower than your chin. The outfit that used to get him in his knees in milliseconds for you now had him acting like a saint.

The look of sadness in his eyes now turned to anger “you know I am,” he was actually offended by the accusation.

Your arms crossed unintentionally making your boobs look bigger “then why haven’t you kissed me in months?” You cocked your head eyes growing cold as you realised how long it had been.

Mat swore you hadn’t been around for the last seven days “I kissed you last week!” He pointed out as he took a step closer to you.

You sighed as you shook your head “that was when your mom was here,” you pointed out as he hadn’t even really kissed you, it was only those little forehead or temple kisses.

The hockey player pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration “you want me to kiss you?” He laughed as he couldn’t believe the words that are coming out of your mouth “is that what this is all about?” Mat added as he cocked his head letting his fingers run through his hair.

Trying to ignore the pain in your chest was your own mission impossible “I want you to love me.” You confessed as you let out a huff.

The words caused Mats world to stop “you know I do,” he was surprised to hear that you thought your own boyfriend didn’t love you.

You let your glass hit the counter with a slam “say it then,” you thought the request was fairly simple.

The hockey player looked at you like you were speaking a different language “what?” His eyes went wide as his mouth ran dry.

You pressed your pointer finger against his chest “tell me that you love me,” you repeated your words as your breathing grew unsteady.

Mat let out a sigh “baby,” he mumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair.

You knew that this move was going to be abrupt and out of nowhere “goodbye Mat.” Tears welled up in your eyes. It was that moment where he could no longer tell you that he loved you, a phrase he used to say at the end of every phone call was now something that he couldn’t even pronounce. That was the moment you knew you had to leave.

The hockey player nodded “when are you coming back?” He asked realising that he was going to have to do some serious grovelling to get you happy again.

Although Mat knew it sounded horrible but the only thing going through his mind was how could he avoid the conflict that had been brewing. That night in your room was the first night he shut you down and this was meant to do the same thing.

Your lip began to quiver as your heart got cold feet from your minds decision “this isn’t that kind of goodbye,” your voice completely broke as you shook your head.

Mat finally realised what you were talking about “you’re breaking up with me?” He asked as he watched you walk away.

You refused to be the one to take the blame for it “this relationship ended a long time ago,” that was true, whilst you still loved him the love that he had for you was no longer being shown and that’s where the downfall of your relationship was routed.

Love was meant to be a two way street and right now it didn’t even feel like the cement was ready for you two.

You pulled a new summer dress that you hadn’t gotten a chance to wear yet over your head “I’ll be back later to get my things.” You confessed as you slipped on the closets shoes to the door.

Mat remained quiet as he so badly wanted to wake up from this nightmare “I’ll see you around Mathew.” You took the little M necklace off of your neck as you placed it onto his palm before you closed it off.

Both of you had tears running down your faces as you walked out of the apartment. Mat wanted to run after you but he couldn’t. He literally felt trapped as the tears streamed down his face causing his body to slide down onto the ground as he leaned against the wall.

It had been a week since you walked out on him and Mat had made his return back to the game. As he scored his first goal back the teamed swarmed him in a celebration. But through all of their cheers he scanned the crowd, it was a normal habit for him as he never knew where you were sat. But halfway through the scan he was met with the harsh reminder, you had broken up with him. So you weren’t going to be sat in the crowd screaming his name, you weren’t wearing his old match worn jersey. But the last reminder was the worst pill to try to swallow.

You were no longer his.

[iphoenixrising]

Masterlist 3

Tim-centric con't

Red Robin tweaks: BatDad & Boomerang | Fallen (What if Dick didn't catch Tim | Kon catches Tim

Tim Angst:The Wrong Robin (for 800 Followers) | Broken Trust 1 &Broken Trust 2 | Babe has feels | More babe feels | Broken Trust 3 | Merry Christmas, Timmy on Ao3, Angst with a happy ending | on Tumblr | Lazarus!Tim au: | Tim, fresh outta Gotham and heartbreak + Lewis Capaldi's "Someone You Loved"

Random 90’s YJ angst Original post | Follow-up | Broken protocols ficlet | Tim angsts to music | Earth 3/ Owlman angst | Hanahaki disease idea | JLA stops checking in

Tim Drake Week: Day 2: Sick Bird| Day 6 (Firefly fusion) | Day 7 (Injury/Healing)

Whirlybird!!!! BABE MADE ME A WHIRLYBIRD & HC

Tim!X (AUs): Coffee Shop!AU | Tim the twisted Oracle | CEO Civilian!Tim from Prime Girl | And the post of aus | Prime girl Enchanted idea | Superpowers | Trans!Tim | Temperance: Temperance's Temptations on AO3 and art ! & Just Desserts | Vampire!Tim HC & for 600 followers! & Bite Kink (it's naughty) | in the future | Mute!Tim: One & Two & Three | Mer!Tim: Ideas & Scaring Dami & Damian & Art & Titans | Silver-Snow's Mer!Tim: Natant & Ideas

Kid!Tim: De-Aged!Tim: Not trusting the BatFam ... but the Titans | Kid!Tim works (Different ways Tim joins the Bats earlier):Tiny!Tim au on Ao3 | Kid!Tim is discovered by Robin!Jason & Window Seat & Tiny!Tim au: The Fever & Tiny!Tim and the Secret (for 500 Followers!) & Tiny!Tim and The Wrong Bus | Tiny!Tim and Tiny!Peter ask | Home for Tiny Birds (Convergence w/ NHFDB!Tim): One & Two | Jason's Death (HCs): One & Two & Three

Justice is Blind (Blind!Tim AU): on AO3 and some amazing art by the incredible poison-basil!!! | One | Two ("BatFam") | Three ("Waking Up") | Four | Five | Six (slight NSFW SuperBats) | Asks: Who All Knows & Ra's, Tam & WE, & Jason & Ra's & Tech & Tech and Tam

Converging the AUs:

"Feels" by iphoenixrising , a graphic by Miss Coco Chips | Convergence

Home for Tiny Birds: NHFDB!Tim visits Tiny!Tim

Fracture!Tim meets Talon!Tim & Dr!Tim | Sated (NSFW HC)

Fracture: the Multiverse & Future!AU

Boy All the Bad Guys Want:

Want | Battle for the Cowl, ScareRobin | Lex Luthor | Tim + Inertia + Superboy Prime | Prime: One & Two & Domestic Syndrome | Superboy Prime and Justice Lord Kon

Pamphlets: One (based on this ) & Two

Joker Junior: One & Two

Jean Paul One & Two

Talon!AU: in which Tim is a Talon & RR without Tim & Mindfuckery & Titans on the Hunt | Gray Son must Die (in which babe wrote most of the thing) & Functionally Immortal & Brainwashed, Hurting, Dissociating, Angry, and Lost & the Assassin & the Talon | Refuge w/ Shiva & A Killer | Rebuilt & vs Fracture!Tim

Dr!Tim (DickTimJay; in which Tim is a trauma surgeon and DickJay are vigilantes)

Meta: on AO3 | Art in which I cry with joy | How it all Began (light NSFW) | Follow-Up

The Mentor; The Suit; Med School | Hobbies & Tony (HCs) | Dick’s Acrobatic Talents (suprise!, it's smut!) | Steph & Batgirl | The Joker | Integration (HC) | Roof Rat | Wicked Way | Dr!Tim HC: Jason’s real pad disguised The original idea | le ask | ask 2 | ask 3

The Submissive & Safeword (HC) & Safewords Out & Sub-Drop | Not Safewording Ask | Annnd Consequences

London Bridge: is Falling & (Missing Scene) & Afterward w/ guest star, Tony Stark!

Headcannons and ficlets Four Times the Bats called Doctor Drake | What's in a Name (HC) | Ultimate Fanboy | Pet Project & Ra's (HC) | Dancing | Meet and Greet | Jealous!Dami | cute!Tim, overwraught!Dick (NSFW; adult themes)

That whole thing at Arkham Dr!Tim and Arkham Riots: One & Two | Arkham Breakout | But, that's not all Dr!Tim and Fear

Tony Stark in Dr!Tim: The Surgeon, The Captain, and the Soldier (for 600 followers!) | SteveTonyBucky (for 700 followers!)

BatFam Prompts, Drabbles, & Thoughts

BatFam headcanons: BatDad | Characterization | General & Dami | Robins & their Other Selves | Outlaws & Titans | Slade/Dick | Terry McGinnis | the Sads

Misc Ficlets: Accents & Motherhenning | Bats & Birthdays | Concussion Confessions | GenderBend | Robins & the Cold | Staypuff | Training ("Hilarity Ensues") | DickTim & a fight & Robin Cuddles | "Let Sleeping Robins Lie" (for 100 followers!) | BatFam & Tim with a Cold | Tim/Clark for Tim Drake Birthday Hunt! (NSFW) | Tim/Clark ask

Interest (see also "DickTimJay: Destroyed")

Soulmates (Robinpile) | Part 1 | Part 2-ish | Here’s an ask | Aaand another | And a third | And a post-fit ask that broke my heart

SuperBats

BatFam Big Bang: on AO3 Day 1: Cuddles | Day 2: Sick | Day 3: Fight! | Day 4: Vacation | Day 5: Nightmare | Day 6: Best Rescue | Day 7

Fic Recs: Funeral & Dr Oz by awkwardbluefish Calling It by reallyautomaticvoid

Damian

Headcanons: on Tim & Shiva | Characterization | as a Boyfriend and NSFW specifically w/ Jason and also with Dick

Dami and ...: Dick & Tim at the Arcade | Tim & Don't panic, but we accidentally got marries | Comfort | Robin's Redemption (for 400 followers!)

Fic Rec: DamiTim by hauntedlittledoll

DamiTim Nurse Tim! Robin!Dami WIP on Ao3 | Concept | Alph!Dami/Alph!Jon/Omega!Tim: The original ask| Tim & Dami

Night Sky

Jason

Jason Todd's mouth & Languages (HC) | Jason's Accent & its inspiration

v. the Pit and then I saw Counting Bodies like Sheep

Misc: Jason, the Outlaws, and the Joker | Crochet | RHatO #25!UA | Silence (tw warning: major character death) | Bottom Jason Todd Week: Daddy Kink, Rare pair Jay/Thomas Elli Heavy in your Arms: One & Two (Angst; Based off the song with the same title by Florence + the Machine)

Marvel

Forward Momentum (MCU Steve/Bucky eventual Steve/Bucky/Tony): on AO3 | Nice Things | Steps | Family | Why aren't you an Engineer? | The Situation | Coffee | Observation | Hurt/Comfort (for 100 followers!) | Medical (HC)

Marvel AOB Attempt: One | Two | Crossroads | Three | Tony & Omegas | Tony & Heat

MCU crossovers: Fracture/Forward Momentum fusion The original idea | Aaaand part 2 |Tony is a bro in the crossover verse | What if crossover verse | Tim stays in the MCU and goes out as Robin | One shot: Tony and Bucky visit Tim in Gotham - different crossover verse | Bonding with the Avengers

Misc

Miraculous Ladybug Play | The Way to His Heart

Check Please!Check Please WIP | WIP 2

Voltron: all because of satire-please Team Dynamics | Left Behind | Waking | You, Not the Lion

[plantinghobbies]

The Same Damn Thing (collab with @sycophanticsolipsism)

Here’s part 5, can’t believe we’ve only got two parts left! Thank you to everyone for your likes and reblogs and kudos and feedback, can’t tell you how much it motivates us and how much we appreciate it. It truly lifts our spirits so thank you thank you. The most thanks to @sycophanticsolipsism for supporting my sorry ass through a writer’s block, this thing would probably still have like 100 words without you! 

If you need to catch up, check out the masterlist.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, angst, probably some typos

Part 5: If I Could Go Back To That Evening We Met…

“I’d kill to go back to that evening we met. Trembling hands as I’d ask for your number again, you saw me different then…when I held your heart in my hand” - Lewis Capaldi

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nobody on the flight is happy to be leaving the magic of Rome, clutching their Prosecco and pecorino Romano from duty free as if it will evaporate upon takeoff. Nobody except Val, that is. She is buzzing, fidgety, can’t get out of this goddamn country fast enough. She has been in constant motion since the moment she’d woken up this morning. 

Val’s had her share of mornings (less than some of her friends but more than she likes to admit) where she woke up disoriented and hungover, unhappy with where she was and a little foggy on how she got there. But this morning? This one was by far the worst, because she didn’t wake up next to a strange guy wearing one sock drooling on her shoulder. No, instead it was Matty - adorable, inconvenient, sexy Matty. By one night stand standards, it was probably the safest she’d ever been. And yet it was the most reckless, brainless thing she’d ever done.

‘It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.’ She’d repeated it to herself over and over - during her shower, throughout the most chaotic packing job of her life, and all the way to the airport. But no matter how much Val tried, her treacherous bitch of a brain would not let it go. She rocks up to the gate after boarding has begun, sliding into her seat at the front of the plane (she’d used the few minutes waiting for a taxi at the hotel to switch her seat), keeping her head low and her sunglasses on (she takes back all the times she previously called people wearing sunglasses on planes pretentious twats. She gets it now). She’d held her breath as he boarded, pretending to be asleep when she saw his eyes searching for her.  Her noise cancelling headphones provide little relief from the rattling around in her head. Now that she’s stopped, albeit forcibly, it’s harder to keep the thoughts she’s desperate to avoid at bay. 

She catches up on texts as the plane taxies, until her friend Dina responds to a picture of Barry Keoghan in the group chat with a resounding “fuck me” and Val’s transported back to the moment Matty whispered that in her ear as he slid into her for the first time. Opening her email once they’re airborne, her inbox is flooded with emails from him from the last few days, running commentary on the conference sessions they’d attended separately. Reading his cute ramblings on the boring presenters and arrogant question askers felt like a shiv jabbed through her ribs. Finally, she gives up, slamming the laptop shut and closing her eyes. Maybe if she’s unconscious she won’t think about it. 

If her life were a movie, Val would have stirred to light stubble nuzzling her neck, his hand snaking down her front, his gruff voice whispering filthy nothings in her ear. But life wasn’t a movie. Instead, the blare of the wakeup call had jolted them awake, her elbow colliding with his jaw as they both scrambled to answer it. By the time Matty’d thanked the hotel staff with broken Italian, Val was already in her jeans, searching for her earring while avoiding looking at him completely.

“Val…” His voice is low, shaky, uncertain, like he’s approaching a caged animal. Val’s heard him employ that tone a hundred times before - with clients and colleagues when he wants to win them over, with their uni friends when he was trying to mediate a dispute between them, with Marin when she was pushing herself too hard toward the end. But he’s never used it with Val before, until now. He thinks it’s full of charm and confidence and take-charge-ness. But what it feels like right now is patronizing. It’s the first time Val fucking hates the sound of his voice.

There’s a twinge in her neck she’s not sure the cause of as she whips her head around. “Don’t give me that tone.” 

Matty physically recoils, blinking stupidly back at her. “I don’t know -“ He looks down at the bed before standing, moving to the chair in the room, maybe to put more distance between them, escape the scene of the crime. 

“Yea you do!” 

“Look, I’m confused too but…” But she isn’t. Confused that is. She may not be on board with all her actions over the last several hours, but in this moment, she is in full control of how she feels. 

Angry, that’s how Val feels. Angry at herself for being an idiot cliche who slept with her boss. Beyond annoyed at him for not just leaving her the fuck alone to languish on Richard’s team all those months ago. Furious with whatever early Roman asshole invented wine in the first place, with its inhibition-altering goodness. And don’t even get her started on Marianne, who landed them in this joint-room trope predicament in the first place. Yep, her shit list is growing by the minute. She would have NEVER done this at home. Never. She needs to get back - to her bed, to her routine, to her goddamn sanity. Oh, she is clear on her emotions alright. 

“Oh, I’m not. I know what this was, no need to explain it.” Sheets and pillows are flying now as the search continues for her earring. “Listen, we can’t miss our flight and I need to find my earring. I can’t lose it, it’s—“

“Marin’s, I know.” 

“Of course you do.” She’s looking in the mini fridge now, which she knows is ridiculous, but she just has to keep moving. “Obviously, you’d remember your girlfriend’s ear—“ 

Matty’s chair scrapes against the floor with a harsh sound, drawing Val’s eyes over to his body. Bad idea,  as he sits up abruptly and leans forward. “Listen, I don’t know what you heard about us.” Us. The word hits her like a visceral gut punch, a dull ache radiating out from her chest. It’s one thing to think it and another thing altogether to hear it. Her worn patience snaps, she can’t sit here with the smell of sex still lingering in the air and think of them. She just can’t. “It’s not what you th—“

“Aaah, got it!” Fuck, thank god. Her shirt she can do without but there was no way Val was leaving without that earring. She readies to flee, gathering her bag and looking around for her key card… before it settles on her that she’s in her room. She can’t leave, at least not without looking even more erratic than she feels. Plus, they really need to get a fucking move on to the airport and he’s still shuffling by the bed in just his pants.  

She pauses, back turned to him as she speaks. “Listen” she repeats - it’s what her mum would refer to as a verbal tick, “umm, I’m going to hop in the shower, we’ve really got to go and I’m sure you have to pack and—” she’s moving toward the bathroom now, and the blessed door that will put a much-needed barrier between them so she can wash his scent off, and catch her breath and think. Something she clearly wasn’t doing last night. “And I forgot to pick up one last bag of coffee for my neighbor so I’m gonna run to that place down the square. I’ll just meet you at the gate.” The last part is thrown over her shoulder as she slams the door shut, not broaching any argument. She presses her back to the door, holding her breath, hanging on to her resolve by a thread. After eighteen seconds (her youth swim training finally came in handy), she hears the rustling of his clothes, the click of the lock, and then nothing. The sound that she makes as she finally takes a deep breath sounds like relief, and yet it doesn’t feel like it.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When they land, Val is off the plane like a shot, power walking through border control, not looking back. She implores every God she’s ever heard of - she even throws Dumbledore in there for good measure - that her suitcase is already waiting for her at baggage claim, assisting her quick getaway from the walking reminder in a wrinkled black suit and raybans somewhere behind her. But she must have exhausted all her luck between rounds two and three last night because the conveyer belt hasn’t even started moving yet (fucking Heathrow). He catches up to her a few minutes later, which is unfortunate because she was hoping to not see him until sometime next month. Maybe year. Decade. Never? She knows she’s being childish but at least now her mood matches her actions. Her boss! Her sister’s something. Her friend.    

The look he levels her with is heavy with impatience. Oh, he’s waiting for her to say something? Fat chance, talking to him is what got her into this mess in the first place. Val talked herself right out of her senses and into his bed. Her bed. A bed. Speaking of, she wants to get to hers so she can crawl into it and die. “Where the hell are these bags?!” Mumbling to herself as a hideous green paisley suitcase makes a full go around the luggage turn style again before Matty seems to get fed up with their verbal game of chicken, taking a deep breath and letting a long sigh preview his words. “Well I guess I’ll sta-“

“Matty?” A high-pitched voice calls from somewhere behind them. Saved! Maybe there’s some magic left for her after all.

He whirls around to the voice, which is attached to a striking woman who Val does not recognize. Probably an enterprising networker from the conference. Now’s her chance to back away, book it to the other end of the carousel. Hell, maybe she should just abandon the bag, she can always come back and get it later. Having decided on letting present Val off the hook and leaving future Val to deal with the postponed chat with Matt, she turns to leave - when the woman steps into (invades is more like it from where Val’s standing) Matty’s personal space, confidentially, almost intimately. Val is glued to the spot, curiosity getting the best of her.

“Cheryl…hi, what are you - it’s nice to - aah” He awkwardly goes to hug the woman but they get tangled as they lean in, barely manage a weird half hug, half cheek kiss. Awkward is not a trait she’s used to seeing on him, and it really doesn’t suit. 

Val doesn’t know if it’s years of computational science training or the hours of true crime documentaries she’s devoured but something has her mind whirring, interest piqued, collecting data on this new person. Tall, brunette, well dressed, older (she can’t be more than Matty’s age but Val is feeling petty all of a sudden). 

“So that’s why you’ve been so hard to reach lately. Long trip?” Cheryl’s eyes dart towards her and then back to Matty, clearly content to not make Val’s acquaintance. She’s toe to toe with Matty now, which Val knows from no more legitimate source than Cosmo is a sign that they’re clearly comfortable in each other’s personal space. Physical space. Val doesn’t like where this is going but can’t seem to look away. 

“Ehm no, just Rome. Conference.” He clears his throat into his fist and begins rocking on his heels in a way she’s never seen him do before. Who the fuck is this woman? “You?”

“Showcase in Sweden,” Cheryl says as if this explains everything. It doesn’t, not nearly enough. Be more specific Cheryl, you’re not giving me a lot to work with here! “But I’m home for a few weeks. We should…ummm…get together again, last time was… fun.” She punctuates the last part, dragging a manicured nail down Matty’s chest. Val knows later (once she’s home and showered and slept and sane again) she’ll admire Cheryl’s boldness, wish they were friends so she could ask her how she seems to manage more confidence in that one finger than Val seems to have in her whole body. 

For his part, Matty does finally step back - or maybe he just loses his equilibrium in the presence of Miss Congeniality (she can’t help it) - and collides with Val, startling as if noticing her for the first time. And in this moment, the data set is complete - she doesn’t need to gather any more information to come to her conclusion - they’ve fucked. Recent enough that Cheryl doesn’t hesitate in initiating contact. Intimate contact that had him seemingly forgetting all about Val. The woman he slept with last night! 

Keep moving. 

Before he can move to introduce her or address her or do anything with her, she spots her bag, lunges for it, and leaves without another word. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Keep moving. 

There’s a Diet Coke stain on Val’s sweater, a general stale smell in the air that she’s pretty sure is coming from her, and she’s stiff and sore in areas she hasn’t been in a while. But she can’t go home. Because home has the couch where they sat till her head ached and back screamed, pulling and fixing data and railing against their colleagues for fucking up. It’s got the blanket she’d caught him wiping his eyes on as they watched Manchester By the Sea together. And the fucking grease stain on the edge of her carpet that he didn’t think she knew about from the pizza he’d dropped on it. (She might have to burn that rug, or sell it.) And the old journal tucked away in her closet filled with her thoughts of him that show just how stupid she’d been for him and for how long. 

So no, Val doesn’t go home. When the cab driver asks where to, she rattles off the first place that comes to mind, dragging her suitcase behind her out of the backseat and into the cinema. The obviously-stoned teenager behind the counter doesn’t bat an eye when she asks him for one ticket to the “least fucking romantic thing you’ve got going here,” punching a few buttons before spitting out a stub and receipt for the latest installment in the Saw franchise. But not even gore and guts can keep her mind from drifting. The torture on screen ramps up - Val wants to picture Matty groaning in agony as she tortures him for all the shit he’s put her through today but all her mind can seem to conjure are his moans of pleasure. 

She’s pictured him between her thighs so many times that she’s probably imagined every move he’s making tonight, from the moment he started trailing his lips down past her breasts. The way his mouth licks at each of her ribs as he slinks down her body seems familiar. And Val knows that she’s pictured him licking his bottom lip the way he does now as he slides her panties to the side with his finger. But all of these fantasies, she realizes now, have been devoid of the single hottest thing she could never imagine. His sounds. Because the gutteral groan that escapes him as he licks into her for the first time is like nothing she’s ever heard before. It must have surprised him too because he pauses after that first taste, resting his forehead against her pelvis, heavy pants tickling her skin. Val’s hands instinctively find his hair, raking through it, fingertips massaging the top of his head. She’s a little uncertain why he paused but she can’t help but stop and appreciate the intimacy of this moment, something new for them even after all their years of knowing each other. 

“Christ,” he mutters, rolling his head slightly back and forth as he plants lazy kisses wherever his mouth lands, seemingly unhurried. But not knowing what he’s thinking begins to make her anxious. Was there something wrong? She’d waxed recently (not that it mattered and fuck him if he thought it did)…right? Yes, yes definitely. Maybe it wasn’t his thing, had she pushed him to do it? Oh god, was she the problem?

Her hand slid from his hair to his jaw, trying to coax him back up her body. She gasps at the quick snatch of her wrist, firm but gentle, his large hand encircling her wrist easily. He slides her other one alongside it, pinning both of her wrists in place easily on her left side. 

“I just….you don’t have to….listen, just come up and we’ll…”

“Val?”

“Yea?”

“You are the fucking best thing I’ve ever tasted. Now stop thinking and let me enjoy it.”

She walks out halfway through the movie, her fickle mind unable to give into the distraction for long. There’s a cafe right next to the theater and Val ignores the annoyed glances she gets for hogging a table meant for two. But she needs room for her baggage. ‘Fitting’, she thinks. 

She’s on her second latte and third episode of Derry Girls when her mum calls. Normally, she’d put her off until she’s in a better mood to chat, has more energy to pretend. One of the hazards of having a psychoanalyst for a mother is that every interaction can feel like a session, unable to avoid her trained instincts. But she’d already dodged her calls twice and Val is certain that even though her mother knows she was traveling with Matty (her mother was so relieved when Val said Matty was going, you’d have thought he was a 6’5 bodyguard instead of a 5’10 casual exerciser), if she doesn’t pick up a third time Gwen will start to panic. After what her mother’s been through, she tries not to blame her. 

When Gwen asks how the trip went, Val picks her words carefully, trying to muster believable excitement behind it. “Good!”

“Really? It doesn’t sound good?” Clearly, her acting needs work. 

“No, it was.” She tries again, hoping the raised octaves in her voice would make up for the lack of it in her mood. 

“You and Matty were in Rome for a week and it was only good? I find that hard to believe.”

And she doesn’t know if it’s the sudden softness in her mothers’ usually firm voice or her own jet lag but Val feels the dam crack and break easier than it has in years. And it’s not a dainty crack either, where a tear slides down her cheek accompanied by one of those cute hiccups. No, Val is not a cute crier, never has been. It’s full on sobs, her splotchy face screwed up and her attempts to breath turning into snot-logged guffaws. She’s word vomiting her train-wrecked thoughts to her mother, trying to hide her teary face behind her crumpled napkin. The guy at the table next to her - some young college kid who probably hasn’t lived long enough to make the idiotic mistake of wanting someone you can’t have - tries to appear casual as he side-eyes her, giving her increasingly dirty looks before he slides his laptop and book off the table and jogs out of the place. ‘Yea kid, run so you don’t have to see what your life will look like in ten years,’ she thinks, reaching for the unused napkin on his table and blowing her nose loudly. 

Val spares her the more salacious details but knows Gwen gets the gist. Silence follows, for so long that Val pulls her phone out of her bag to check the connection is still good. 

“He calls me every year, you know.” Her mother’s voice is soft, vulnerable.

Of all the things she expected her mother to say, this was not it. “Who? Matty?!”

“Yesss darling, Matty. Every year around the anniversary.” Val rolls her eyes, of course he would. He couldn’t just make it easy for her and be a dickhead she shouldn’t have feelings for. Her mother’s voice is still flooding her earbuds “…started out with a card the first year but then he missed the second one and called all flustered from some party boat…in Ibiza, I think.” Gwen’s laugh is another thing that Val doesn’t hear that much of, wishes she heard it more. “Said he was rubbish with anything analogue and asked if I wouldn’t mind if he called from then on.”

Val grips her napkin, busying herself with shredding it into pieces. “He always asks about you. Bless him, probably thought he was being so coy, but it was obvious that he was digging for info on you.”

“Me?” The shrillness in her voice attracts a glare from the guy who’s taken over the recently-vacated table. She glares right back. She can be hysterical if she wants to here, it isn’t a bloody library. 

“Don’t sound so surprised. Of course, you. Who else?” There’s rustling on the other end, the unmistakable whimper of her parent’s golden retriever as he scratches at the back door, desperate to go out. Val is suddenly homesick in a way she hadn’t been in over a decade. “I thought you all had something going at school before…”

“No, mum.” Val interrupts before that thought can even fully form, can’t take hearing someone else verbalize it. “It was him and Marin…”

The sharp bark of laughter cuts her off. “Marin? No darling, definitely not.”

The confidence with which her mother says this should make Val feel better, someone outside of her own thoughts refuting her worst nightmare. But instead, her hackles rise, instantly petulant at being so easily dismissed. Her next words are biting.

“Well, I was there so I think I would know.”

“You certainly know a lot.” Great, her mother’s passive voice. It’s a reliable tool for de-escalation, but all it seems to do for Val is piss her off more.

“Well, how would you know? You weren’t here!“ She hates how easily she reverts to sounding like a child with her mum. 

“Because she told me things.” The unlike you goes unsaid.

“I-“

“Honey, you’ve always kept things close to the vest. Ever since you were little.” Her mother anticipates her defensiveness “It’s ok, it’s just your nature. But it wasn’t the same for your sister. She told me eeeeeverything. Including the fact that she was asexual.” 

Val’s cheeks flame in the way they always did whenever either of her parents even said the word sex. “Wait, what?”

“Yes darling.” She says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“No, I-“

“Honestly Val, it’s perfectly normal, some people just aren’t driven by carnal ins-“ At that word, Val is transported back to the mortifying moment she’d asked her mother the definition of carnal at the ripe old age of 7, having come across it while trying to read one of her Nan’s trashy paperbacks with Fabio on the cover. Her dad had been livid but her mum had simply sat  Val down and explained the birds and the bees. Val had never asked for a clarification on another word since. 

She’d very much like to not relive that whole ordeal now, or ever again. “Mum, I know what asexual means. I just, well…” Val pauses, biting her lip in contemplation unsure of what it is that confuses her about the finding. Her sister was allowed to keep things for herself. Val had obviously never told Marin about her feelings for Matty. Thou can covet thy sister’s boyfriend as long as you don’t tell anyone…that’s how the commandment went, right?  But this, this was news that would have changed Val’s whole world that first year of uni. Maybe her whole life. And she’d kept it from her! Just because Val didn’t have a right to be angry doesn’t mean she wasn’t anyway .“I guess I don’t know why she didn’t tell me.” 

“Oh bug, I think she would have. If she had had the time.” Gwen’s voice goes soft again in the way she only gets when talking about Marin. Or her own parents. Val hates making her mum sad. 

“Well, good to know, I guess. Still doesn’t mean he didn’t fancy her.” The sigh on the other end of the line 

“Honey, this isn’t really about your sister, is it? It’s about you. I mean, it’s fine to be guarded.” ‘Well, thanks for your permission mum.’ “But if you like someone, sometimes you, well, you’ve got to go out on a limb. Do something that you can’t walk back.”

“Uh uh Val, eyes on me baby,” Matty’s thumb taps at her hairline, bringing her eyes back to his. “There she is, that’s my girl.” His smile is so soft, so incongruous with the harsh snap of his hips moments before. He dips his head, nose nuzzling hers as his lips skim over her Cupid’s bow. “I want to see you.”

Well, she’d definitely done that. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The elevator dings as it arrives at her floor, Val’s mind barely registering it as she stares at the hideous bargain carpet that covers every inch of her building. Two days ago, her Mum’s revelations would have had her spinning. But today, they just make her more tired. Tired of trying to decipher what it all meant - every word, every action. Tired of carrying around hope for all these years, foolish, unfounded hope. Hope could be heavy and she’d been carrying it since an early age, when Hollywood had filled her brain with stories of men who gave the smallest crumbs of affection and the women who devoured them like they were full feasts, never giving up and somehow always getting the guy. Beauty and the Beast, My Best Friends Wedding, Jerry Maguire, Bridget Jones’, Sleepless in Seattle. And those were just a few of her favorites growing up. But what those movies didn’t show was the nights filled with insomnia, the self-doubt, the second guessing yourself, the exhaustion that comes with taking every interaction with someone you would die to have - literally every single second together - and reliving it over and over again looking for the seIcret subtexts that would reveal how he felt about you. Wondering, confused, if it was love or if you weren’t just mistaking kindness for care. 

Well, Val was officially giving up. Throwing in the towel. She couldn’t do it any more. She was no Hollywood heroine, she was just a mere woman, and she was tired. Of burying her feelings under shy smiles, then friendship, then a night with him that had only made the idea of friendship impossible. Of wondering if she was wasting time pining for someone when she didn’t even know how he felt. I mean, clearly he was attracted to her but just because he wanted her didn’t mean he wanted to be with her; just because he wasn’t in love with Marin didn’t mean that he was in love with Val. Contrary to how she sometimes acted, she knew she was not the only person of interest on the planet and he could have anyone he wanted. 

And that was all just the personal anxiety. She hadn’t even begun to process how stupid this all was for her professionally. 

As she makes the turn down her hallway, her eyes are drawn to a body, slumped in front of the door to her apartment. Asleep? Dead? Several particularly grim facts about stalkers and serial killers flash through her mind before she clocks the curls, the scuffed shoes, the pack of cigarettes lying next to him he’d clearly taken out to smoke before he must have realized where he was. On instinct, hope rises in her chest before she slaps her palm over her heart, holding it at bay. No, that was enough of that. 

She kicks at his shoe, startling him for the second time that day. “How long have you been here?” 

He doesn’t respond as he clambers to his feet, eyes dragging to his suitcase as if to highlight the obvious answer.

“Ok, other question. What are you doing here?” It comes out breathier than intended but she is genuinely surprised. Thought he’d be off somewhere with that troll Cheryl (she is not proud of how her feminism utterly abandons her in this moment). That she’d at least have a few well-timed sick days to prepare before seeing him again. 

“I’m uh…” The toe of his brogues scrape at the floor .Whatever he wants to say, it’s enough to make him anxious. Which is enough to make Val want to avoid it at all costs.

Summoning her self-preservation, she cuts him off. “Listen, maybe we should do this when we’ve both-“

“Goddamnit Val, for once, please shut up!” His voice explodes in the small space, her gaze immediately going over her shoulder to her neighbor’s door. The last thing she needs right now is a noise complaint. Matty itches at the skin around his throat, as if raising his voice at her is as foreign to do as it was to receive. “I’m sorry, I’m sor- I just, I can’t risk any confusion here. Just need to get this out. Need you to listen. For once.” The attempt at a joke lands with a thud. 

“When I’ve tried to get this out…and, I, just, it gets fucked every time.” His breath is noticeably shaky, hands on his hips as he gazes at the floor. “And I’m sick of, well I’m not sick of trying cause I’ll do that, not afraid…but I’m sick of the…if only I’d been clearer, got it out faster….in that pub, and I just, can’t take it any more…” 

She’s about to tell him she’s not following when he seems to gather that for himself, head lifting to meet her eyes. She’s never been great at eye contact, always hates how put on the spot she feels by it. On instinct, Val glances away, over his shoulder, somewhere safer. A blurred hand lifts in her periphery, hovering near her face but not touching it, until her gaze turns back to his. Reminding her of the eye contact he’d insisted on the night before, as he went down on her, as he slid into her, as she came on his cock and as she’d fallen asleep. 

“Val, I’m crazy about you. Have been for years… and before you say it, Marin and I weren’t anything. Or nothing like you think… I loved her, sure. But not in the way I do you…”

Val’s heard the phrase about the world going sideways before but she’d never really appreciated what it meant until now. She swears her body actually tilts sideways until it feels like the handle of her suitcase is the only thing keeping her upright. And with her equilibrium goes her ability to think straight.

“From the moment I met you when you had just got accepted, there was just something… and then you were dating that prick Roger from the cricket team.” God, Val hadn’t thought of him in ages. She’d been using him, trying to get under him to get over Matty. “…kicking myself that I’d just assumed there’d be time, like you wouldn’t just get snatched up by someone—“

The sleep deprivation seems to pick that very moment to redouble its efforts - she can’t think fast enough to respond. To buy herself time, she vomits out the first thought in her head. “Why didn’t you say something? Back then?”

“What? Rock up to you on the first day ‘Hey Val, d’you remember me? From that one weekend we hung out? Will you please go out with me? Oh, let me help you unpack, show you how shitty the beds are...’” He scoffs, she fucking hates that. “C’mon, I’d like to think I’m better than that…” 

Her eyes look away, not willing to admit he’s right.

“I don’t know if you remember that night…in the pub—“ He stops, the effort of self-editing written all over his face. “What the fuck am I—Of course, I know you remember, like, the shittiest night of your life but I meant right before, when you and I were— “

She’s not intentionally tuning him out but her brain is now unhinged, skipping around and ahead, trying to determine what conclusion he’s coming to. Because the truth is, even if he’s telling the truth (she knows he has no reason to lie about this but she still can’t comprehend this monumental fact that he’s liked her for, it sounds like, almost as long as she’s liked him...) she still can’t have him. Because as the personal anxiety begins to ebb in the face of his declaration, the professional anxiety seeps in to take its place. She knows how this would go. She trusts Matty, of course she does (even after all these years, she couldn’t imagine doing anything else). But in her experience, shit like this - a relationship with a coworker - doesn’t stay quiet, no matter how hard two people try. Someone catches her glance at him differently, he says her name a certain way and suddenly it’s all anyone can talk about. The rumor mill must be fed, anything to make the mundane office more interesting, the hours less boring. It’s not that she blames them, has even joined in in her weaker moments, feeling slightly gross as she listened to the latest gossip, just wanting to be part of the inner circle, to be included. But she’s seen what it does to women, it’s always the women that pay. 

“So, you can choose not to give this a shot, but it won’t be because of some bullshit misunderstanding you have about me and Marin.” There’s that tone again, like he’s confident in the case he made, assured of its persuasiveness. But once again, he’s underestimated her. 

“Marin isn’t the reason.” It’s clear that’s not what he was expecting her to say, he’s caught off guard, eyes flitting back and forth between hers as if trying to scan them. “Well, not entirely. Matty, you’re my boss…”

“I’m well aware, trust me. We can handle it. Or I can.” Her eyeroll is instinctual at this point, honed from years of listening to men brush away her valid concerns as if they were so obviously not an issue that it’s idiotic that she’d even been thinking about it. “It doesn’t matter, as long as we’re tog—“

“No, it does… matter, that is… Cause this won’t be a problem for you, but for me it will be. A big one. My reputation, my career. People will think I slept my way into every job opportunity from here on out…” Val crosses her arms in front of her chest to stop wringing of her hands. 

Matty is shifting his weight from side to side, clearly uncomfortable with the way the conversation has veered off course. “No, they won’t… and if they do, I’d immediately address it. We’d report them! I’m not really a nobody here, y’know.”

“Oh great, I can hear people now. ‘There goes Matty, taking Val ‘under his wing’” the air quotes aren’t really needed with the sarcasm laced in her voice but it’s important to her he knows how much that idea offends her. “I fucking hate that phrase.”

The smell of his cologne tingles as he takes a step closer, that confidence back in his voice. “Listen, I’m not stupid enough to think that it’d be totally fair, or that there isn’t stuff we have to work out—" (he says stuff as though the problem was (is) a small glitch in the code and not a huge attack on her entire system, her career) “—but I am falling in love with you… I want to do that with you. Want to do everything with you,” he chuckles softly, peering into her eyes, “And I think you do too, or at least I would hope so.”

Her resolve is crumbling, she needs him to go away, leave her so she can fall apart in peace. “No.”

“No?” Matty rakes his hands through his hair, interlocking his hands behind his head, his biceps flexing in a way that Val can’t help but find hot. 

“Matty, I…I am just…I can’t…I’ve worked too hard for everything I’m accomplishing now for it to be credited to you. It would kill me to have people think that.” She hates thinking out loud but her trusty brain-to-mouth filter is failing her right now. Thankfully, he fills in the gaps for her. “It’s not worth the risk—“ The words are said carelessly but she can’t stuff them back in. 

“No, I think what you mean is I’m not worth the risk” He says, and on his face she can read all the hurt her simple denial has inflicted. She wishes he would understand, that he would just listen and see it from her perspective because when she puts it all down on paper…well— the cons outweigh the pros, and her lists have rarely ever failed her. What if they don’t work out? What if after all this time pining for each other, they go on a couple of dates and realize they’ve made a mistake? It’s not like they can walk this back. Data isn’t subjective, it’s objective, it’s rational, reliable. Everything that they are not right now. She’s about to summarize it for him, a task which would be made easier if she had time to write it out, organize it. 

Her thoughts feel scattered. “I’m not saying—” but it doesn’t matter that she’s not organized because she doesn’t get far. 

“Got it,” he cuts her off, voice suddenly gruff and cold. “I’m an idiot. Thought last night meant you were still mooning over me the way you used to—jokes on me, I guess.” It’s been a while since she’s seen him like this, wounded animal cruelly lashing out at a perceived attack. This Matty is an unpleasant addition. 

“Oh, fuck off, sounds like you were pining right back. Not that you kept your bed cold waiting though, did you? Fucking Cheryl and…”

“Cheryl?! God you’re unbelievable” His bag slaps against his thigh as he hauls it over his shoulder violently. “Cheryl is nothing. She was a one night stand—“

“—so was I!” They are screaming now and Val is almost surprised that the landlord hasn’t already been called. 

Val doesn’t have time to see his reaction before he moves past her to the elevator. “Your words, not mine” He bypasses the elevator altogether, slamming the door to the stairwell open and disappearing into it. 

When she’s finally in her apartment, suitcase sprawled open in her living room and temporary bed made on her couch, she lets it wash over her. All the emotions she has kept in a vice like grip since the second her feet hit the floor this morning, or rather till her feet landed in the heap of denim where Matty’s jeans had landed the night before. Val wants to be proud of herself for cutting it off, not feeding the beast (figuratively or literally) but what she really feels is regret.

[live-laugh-neteyam]

Forever ||| tsu’tey x omatikaya!reader

masterlist

pairings: tsu'tey x omatikaya!fem!reader

summary: sometimes nothing lasts forever

words: 1.5k

warnings/notes: angsty angst, use of y/n, arranged marriage, forbidden love, implied smut, blame lewis capaldi for this one I love this song and it’s still on my mind after hearing it live

Looking over the crowd everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. Everyone but him. Tsu'tey would never admit it aloud though. There was shame in admitting you'd rather be anywhere but your own engagement party.

Eyes briefly scanning over you entering the crowd, he quickly stopped for a double take. The sight of you caused his breath to catch in his throat.

It was foolish really, to think you wouldn't show up. Of course you would be there. The celebration was for the future Olo'eyktan after all, everyone would be there. But still, seeing you caught him off guard.

Looking up you caught his gaze. Tsu'tey's intense eyes were locked on you, leaving you feeling exposed before him. Offering him a small smile you watched as his rough exterior melted slightly. Only you had that effect on him.

Gracefully you weaved through the crowd. Your radiant smile was on full display as you greeted people. Tsu'tey felt his heart pinch at the sight. He wanted to be the cause of your smile.

Before he could think about it his feet began taking him towards you. He stood before you not saying a word, he resembled a lost child.

"Oel ngati kameie Tsu'tey." You gestured towards him. Your smile never quite reached your eyes.

"You're here." He breathed.

"Of course. You are my future Olo'eyktan and my friend. I am here to show my support." You nodded.

Friend.

The word stabbed at his heart. He didn't want to be your friend, not when you held his heart in your hands.

"Can we talk?" Fighting the urge to touch you he kept his fists glue to his side.

"Tsu'tey." You sighed. "We can't. Not with everyone here."

"Then let's leave." He pleaded with you. "Please Y/N."

"I don't think that's a good idea." You looked up at him pained. "You know it will change nothing. We can't go back."

"I don't know how to go through with this without talking to you first." His eyes clouding over with tears.

"We knew this would happen. No regrets, remember?"

"I know what we said, but-"

"Go back to your party Tey." You interrupted him. "Your betrothed is waiting."

Tsu'tey watched helplessly as you wandered back into the crowd. An arrow to the chest would hurt less than watching you walk away.

He knew this would eventually happen. He was chosen to be Olo'eyktan so he was to go through with an arranged marriage. But how could he when his heart was no longer his to give?

He loved you. He saw you. There was room for no one else.

Tsu’tey’s love for his people also ran deep. He felt that he was chosen for a reason; he couldn’t let his people down. No one ever questioned Tsahík for she interpreted the will of Eywa.

But there you were, beautiful as ever, freckles glowing under the bioluminescence of the night. The sight made him question his resolve all over again.

You couldn't pinpoint when exactly it started. It had just always been him. Your heart beat for him and him only. The day you found out he reciprocated your feelings something inside you was lit aflame. The warmth in your heart had yet to subside.

The two of you had crossed the line of friendship long ago. Suddenly sweet kisses and hand holding were no longer enough. Your late night talks turned into late nights without much talking.

You slept soundly tucked away in his arms knowing that he was yours and you were his. Tsu'tey planned to take you as his mate, he all but told you so. He wanted you and no one else.

When it was announced that he was to be the next leader you felt as though your world was crashing down. Tsu'tey's future mate would be the next Tsahík and you were not her. You were just a common member of the clan; you weren't special or significant in any way.

The last thing you wanted was to break things off with him. But you knew what you had to do. Tsu'tey would be an excellent leader and you couldn't take that from him. You'd be damned if you robbed him of that great honor.

But there was a selfish part of him that refused to let you go. So every time you attempted to end things with him he never really listened. He was too focused on your lips to hear the words flowing from them.

"We still have time." He interrupted you.

"This won't last forever Tsu'tey." You mumbled. "We should quit while we're ahead."

Deep down he knew it wouldn't last forever, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to get there.

It went on like that for months. You would try to end it, but then he would kiss you and you melted. How could you ever say no to him?

"Tsu'tey." You wined as his fingers danced across your skin.

This was a dangerous game, you both knew it. You were playing with fire, practically daring your heart to break. But you couldn't bring yourself to care. Not when he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as his hand dipped into your loincloth.

You came completely undone under his touch. Melting like putty in his hands. You belonged to him. Body and heart you gave it all to him.

You treasured the nights spent tangled with him. Your love was untamed, the two of you completely blocking out what was to come.

One day these moments would become distant memories. You tried to live in the present as much as you could. Attempting to commit every last part of him to memory while he was yours.

Because you knew, it wouldn't last forever.

Tsu'tey hadn't slept at all that night. It was becoming increasingly impossible after he became accustomed to sleeping with you in his arms.

The morning light stung his eyes as he stepped outside. His mind was on autopilot in his drowsy state. Tsu'tey didn't remember walking to your home, but that's where he found himself.

"Tsu'tey?" You questioned when you noticed him outside.

Guiding him in you made him take a seat. Your heart clenched at the sight of him. The dark bags under his eyes an indication of his lack of sleep.

"Are you alright?" You hesitantly questioned. He shouldn't be here.

"No." He grumbled.

"Why are you here?" You hated being so formal, but he was betrothed now. You no longer had any claim to him.

"I don't remember why." He mumbled.

Tsu'tey was lost without you. The distance was making him lose his mind. He started pondering giving up on his duties. He wouldn't mind if in the end he could have you.

"Oh Tsu'tey." You sighed. This was like stones in your heart. But you had to be the bad guy. The one to make the tough call. You wouldn't allow him to throw away his future for you.

"Do you regret it? Regret us?" He asked almost fearful.

“I regret the timing. The circumstances. But not you. I would never regret you.”

Nodding somberly he seemed somewhat satisfied with that answer.

“I keep thinking if things were different.” He spoke.

“No. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t do that to me.” Tears clouded your vision.

“Yawne.” He whispered.

“Don’t call me that.” You whimpered. “Please do not call me that.”

Tsu’tey went to reach for you. His protective instincts kicking in the moment he noticed your tears. Immediately you pulled away from him.

“You act like this is not hard for me. This is killing me, but one of us has to take things seriously.” You said as your arms wrapped around yourself.

“I have accepted an offer of courtship.” You sighed.

“Who?” Tsu’tey asked through gritted teeth. He was seething with anger at the thought of someone trying to claim what was rightfully his.

You shook your head at him. You knew Tsu’tey like the back of your hand. You wouldn’t allow him to do something regretful in his blinded jealous rage.

Tsu’tey sighed in defeat. It felt real now. You were no longer his and he would never be yours again. His heart that once burned bright with his love for you now felt like a flickering ember.

He wanted to wish you the best, but he didn’t think he was able to. Selfishly, he didn’t want to wish you happiness when it wasn’t with him.

“I think you should go.” You wiped away a few stray tears. “I’m so sorry.”

Without another word Tsu’tey got up to leave. Turning he took one last look at you. Tears were still streaming down your cheeks. You offered him a weak smile.

“I hope you know I wish you happiness. I truly do Tsu’tey.”

In that moment he wanted to rip his heart out and offer it to you so you’d never be apart. It was already yours.

“Goodbye yawne.” He whispered before he left.

As he walked back towards home tree he realized that the two of you together now only existed in his memories. Your shared love now officially a thing of the past.

Nobody said that it would last forever

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[twopoppies]

When reading origin stories (idk why this topic popped up again but I love to read those stories), I would like to add mine. To be honest, this is not my first time when fandom shipped two bandmates and there are even (smut) fanfics about them. Back in 2006 I was a massive fan of My Chemical Romance and it was the first time when I experienced a ship of two bandmates. Idk why but many MCR fans shipped singer Gerard Way with guitarist Frank Iero aka Frerard. Like back then I found it cute - that´s probably where my love for gays started because I found myself hot when I back in the day I saw photos and videos of two emo boys makingout lol - and I was into it eventho IIRC there wasn´t any real evidence of their supposed romance than when one kissed the second one. I also remember reading few Frerard fics but maybe they were just badly written but they were nowhere near larry fics I am reading now when talking about quality. So I just found this whole ship as a cute part of being a MCR fan and I forgot about it as soon as I stopped being a fan around 2008 and even both Gerard and Frank got married to women and having kids with them. I found it like a silly fan experience when you´re fangirling over two guys who you find hot at that moment but without any real evidence. So when my cousin came to me - former het solo harrie - with words "What do you think about Larry?" I immediatelly dismissed her to tell me anything about it. Because Frerard immediatelly popped in my mind, my whole teenage experience around it and so I went straight to tell her "Please, don´t even start with it, I´ve been there too when I was literally your age, shipping two guys I found hot. I saw on tumblr there are this group of fans who ship H with his bandmate but I don´t want to dive into this ship because I´ve been there once and I find this whole two bandmades shipping bs". BUT THEN... ...few months later Brits happend where drunk H went off stage in the middle of his speech to softly kiss Lewis Capaldi and later literally threw himself on Stanley Tucci looking like he´s obsessed with him and making it everyone´s problem. So I started to think he might not be just straight. And month later the very same cousin made me go to the cinema to see AOTV and eventho while watching it I totally ate the narrative that F is Louis´ son thinking he´s just his oopsie baby, so after we were travelling home I was like "Okay, show me those videos of H and Louis". And then I came here and.... I stayed.

Hahaha! I love reading these journeys—-especially the little things that tipped people over the edge.

[stellatekintsugi]

Lewis Capaldi

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good to Say Goodbye

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cursing, Hurt/Comfort & Implied Smut, MAJOR TW: stillborn

Summary: Y/N is tired of constantly being dissed by Logan and he doesn't seem to care, at least not until it's too late.

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I Part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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I clasp my jacket closer to my body as I wait for Logan to open the door of our shared apartment. It's pouring rain and my dumbass forgot the keys, I sigh as I pull my phone out, dialing my lovers number.

one ring

two rings

three rings

four- declined.

*new text from "Logie Bear🐻💙"*

Logie Bear🐻💙: Babe I'm on the sim, give me a few.

Me: I'm out here in the pouring rain and I left my key, You said you'd unlock the door 5 minutes ago.

Logie Bear🐻💙: You fucking made me crash.

Logie Bear🐻💙: I'm coming.

A scoff leaves my lips as I shove my phone into my soak jean pockets that stuck to my skin, a few minutes later I hear the lock click and the door swigs open revealing a less than happy Logan.

"Damn, were you watching our home videos while waiting for me to open the door?" Logan laughed as he took in a soaked me before side stepping so I could walk in.

"I've been outside for 10 fucking minutes in the pouring rain Logan and you're making jokes?" I almost screamed at him

Unbelievable, all I do for him and this is how he treats me?

"Woah babe, take a joke," Logan starts before his phone starts ringing "Yeah? Oh for sure, right now? Uh huh, Okay I'll hop on. Yup yup, just give me 5. I'm grabbing a snack" with that Logan hung up the phone "I'm hoping back on the sim with the boys, so just take a shower and dry the floors, you're ruining the wood."

I wanted to scream, I'm ruining the floors? I wouldn't be ruining the floors if you would've opened the door 10 minutes ago like you fucking said you would.

I made my way into our shared room, grabbing my clothes and speaker before making my way to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom, I connected my phone to the speaker and started playing "Hold Me While You Wait" by Lewis Capaldi on a low volume before stripping out of the soaking wet clothes that stuck to my skin.

My shaking hand turned the tap to hot as the water started spurting out of the shower head, which made me sigh thinking about the shower head I gave Logan every time we showered together. Today makes 3 weeks since we last fucked, and that was also probably why I'm so aggravated at everything he does. All this pent up sexual tension between us is driving me crazy.

Before stepping into the now steamy shower I turned the volume up on the song currently playing. Once in the tub, I let all my problems wash off of me and down the drain as I let the boiling hot water hit my skin. After what felt like 3 minutes of pure bliss, I hear a faint knock at the door before hearing it open. Peaking my head out the shower curtain I'm greeted by Logan just standing by the door.

"Hey Logie, care to join me?" I said in a low & seductive voice, watching as he steps fully into the bathroom and closes the door. A victory smile makes its way on my lips as I pull myself behind the curtain once more, quickly lathering myself in foamy soap.

I can hear Logans footsteps getting closer to the shower, but instead of getting in I hear him pick up my phone, turn the volume down, set my phone back down and as he's leaving he mutters "Not tonight. Boys are on the game and i can’t focus on them because your depressing songs are too loud."

Are you fucking kidding me?

That had been my last straw. In one quick movement I turn off the shower, throw my robe on and march out of the bathroom and into his sim room.

"Are you fucking kidding me Logan?!" I shout as a burst in the room, face red from anger. I can hear a mix of muffled oohs, laughs and you're in trouble. I couldn't bring myself to care about anyone on the sim with him.

"Hey! I'm on the sim! Watch your tone!" Logan shouted back, earning him a glare that said turn your fucking simulator off now.

"We're gonna have a serious talk. Now" I said in a stern voice. That made Logan turn the game off and actually face me

"What the fuck do you want to talk about that you bust into my sim room and interrupt me when I'm on with my friends WHO HAPPEN TO BE A COWORKERS?!" Logan shouted, his beautiful face now a shade of red that no-one liked, his eyes as cold and sharp as ice.

“I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOU. YOURE BEHAVIOR, THE WAY YOU’VE BEEN ACTING TOWARDS ME, THE WAY YOU DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME ANYMORE, DO YOU EVEN STILL FUCKING LOVE ME?!” I tried to stop, I really did but all the anger built up inside of me over the last few weeks just started pouring out “WHATS BEEN GOING ON WITH YOU LOGAN? YOU’RE NOT YOURSELF AND ITS EFFECTING ME, YOU KEEP SHUTTING ME OUT, AND MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU ANYMORE? HUH!?” the more I screamed at him and the more I cried, I saw not one bit of remorse in his eyes.

“Are you fucking done being dramatic now?” Logan says with a scoff “Nothing is fucking wrong with me. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re the problem? No, you haven’t because you think so highly of yourself. You think that you’re the fucking shit and you’re not!” his words hit me like a punch to the gut.

the tears welling up in my eyes, now falling like heavy rain down my face. “You’re not the Logan I fell in love with,” my breath shaky “I don’t know who you are. I want my Logan back. I want the Logan who came to all my wrestling matches, the Logan who regularly took me out on dates despite his hectic work schedule, I want my Logan who got mad at me when I paid for dinner because ‘it’s a man’s job to pay for his girls meal’, the Logan who always took me to his races and showed me off like I was a rare jewel he found,” the waterfall beneath my eyes couldn’t stop me from staring into his soul while i said this last part “I miss my Logan who stood by me when we had our miscarriage” That seemed to get a reaction out of him.

“You have the fucking nerve to bring up MY baby. Don’t you EVER bring up MY baby like that again. You HAVE NO RIGHT.” Logan said tearing up

“YOURE BABY? HE WAS MINE TOO. IT WASNT JUST YOU THAT LOST A BABY, IT WAS ME TOO. HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT PUSHING OUT OUR BABY KNOWING HE WAS DEAD? I WANTED TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF LOGAN. I FELT LIKE I FUCKING FAILED YOU AND OUR SON.”

“MAYBE YOU FUCKING SHOULD’VE KILLED YOURSELF. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?! IF YOU KILLED YOURSELF I’D BE SO MUCH BETTER OFF.” a sob escaped my lips as Logan finishes talking. “You act like I can’t find someone else, like I can’t impregnate another woman. You’re nothing but another piece of ass to me, that couldn’t fucking keep my son alive in you.”

Logan storms out of the room, slamming the door as he goes.

“Well, I’m so glad you told me this now because I’d HATE for our DAUGHTER to be in a house where her dad thinks so lowly of her mother!” I scream while I barge into our shared room, grabbing a suitcase and filling it up with all my shit I can fit in it.

Soft footsteps make their way to the room, stopping just before the door. Slowly I hear the door open and see Logan slowly walking in.

“what did you say?” he asks me in disbelief “did you say ‘Our Daughter’?”

“YEAH IM FUCKING PREGNANT AGAIN BUT SINCE IM JUST ANOTHER PIECE OF ASS TO YOU, IM FUCKING LEAVING AND YOURE NOT GONNA FUCKING SEE HER.” I yell, closing up the suitcase and heading for the door before feeling a tug on my wrist

“no baby, please. I’m sorry, i’m so sorry. let me make it all up to you and be in her life. i’ll change, I’ll be better, I’ll do anything to get you back.” tearing now streaming down Logan face

“I’ll be back in the morning to get the rest of my shit.” I said before tugging my wrist back and slamming the door shut behind me.

pt2 maybe?

thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed !!

@forevercaffeinated-lee

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSesvRpKqBaYY-Ow5IgHoD0gSX6OzJ03qGMXOhHUI6Xg1wfKaA/viewform

[silverwings22]

Caught in the Crosshairs: Chapter 61: Hold Me While You Wait- Lewis Capaldi

Series warnings: Smut, mind control, canon typical violence, childhood trauma, language, chronic illness Chapter warning: smut (cockwarming), talks about suicidal ideation and death

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Next chapter:

The ship touching down woke Miria and Crosshair both, both of them reaching for the other’s hands in the darkness. The metal of the Havoc Marauder creaked and settled, engines turning off. Hunter’s footsteps echoed through the hold as he peeked in on them, then walked back and checked on Omega, before finally going to the bunkroom to try to get some sleep of his own. He and Wrecker had to be exhausted. The damage to their armor when she’d seen it was extensive, they’d been through hell looking for her and Omega. 

There was a long stretch of quiet between them before she felt Crosshair’s hand smooth across her hair. “You awake?” He breathed. 

“Yes.” She whispered back, like if she was too loud someone would come and take him away. 

“We need to talk.” He murmured. “About what happens now. With us.”

She buried her face in his chest. Of course they did. It couldn’t fall right back to the way it was. Nothing would ever be the way it was, not with everything that happened. But Force, she just wanted to pretend that it would. They had a daughter now, the innocent little breathing that came from the corner by the mattress they were lying on. He’d said he loved her. Why couldn’t that just be enough. “I know.” She finally murmured. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He didn’t want to let her go, but he wasn’t sure if this was a conversation he was allowed to hold her for. He loved her so much it felt like a blaster bolt to the chest, but their moment of vulnerability in the shuttle to find his brothers had only been the beginning. It had been an assurance they both were ready for Mayrin, to be her parents and have her in their lives. Right now, he was painfully aware that the last time he’d seen her before Tantiss had been Kamino. It had been over a year since they’d been together as a couple, and was loving each other and a baby they’d decanted in the back of a stolen cargo ship enough to build a life together when they were broken in two different ways? 

She didn’t sit up, deciding if they were going to talk she was going to keep her arms around him. If it ended with him telling her to get off his chest, then she’d deal with that when it happened. “What’s on your mind, then?” She breathed.

“It’s been over a year.” He skimmed his fingers up and down her back. “You’ve got one hell of a temper now.” 

She nodded against his pectoral. “It was… a side effect of healing from my sickness. And joining a Mandalorian clan.” 

His fingers paused on her shoulder. “That explains how damn bold you got. You were so shy before.” 

“Do you hate it?” She clutched the front of his shirt.

“No. It’s just… surprising. I… I wasn’t there for the change, and it feels like meeting you for the first time all over again.” He twirled a lock of her hair around his fingertip like he used to. “Maybe this version of you doesn’t like the new version of me.” 

Miria picked her head up to look at him. “We have a baby, Crosshair.”

“I know. And I’d do anything for her… I just don’t want that to be all that’s still between you and me. You were… you’ve always been the best thing I ever had. The one who saw right through me. I don’t want to lose that.”

Miria nodded. It wasn’t an unreasonable thought. She hated to think it; that loving him wasn’t enough to keep them together, even if they had a daughter. She slowly reached up, putting her hand on his cheek and rubbing the outline of his tattoo under her thumb. “You’re different, it’s true.” She finally murmured. “Tantiss broke you. I saw your hand, and I know there’s more too it that you don’t want to say. You don’t like to talk about what hurts you… it used to be that you didn’t want anyone to use weakness against you. You only trusted me not to.” 

He nodded. “It’s different now.” 

She closed her eyes, listening to his heartbeat as her head went back down on his chest. “You just want it to go away now, don’t you? To forget?”

“... you’re good.” She’d almost forgotten what his laugh sounded like, it had been so long since she heard it. It was her favorite sound in the galaxy, though. That hadn’t changed. 

“I want to forget too.” She murmured, watching his chest rise and fall. “I want to forget the cell and smell of disinfectant and blood… but more than anything, I want to forget what being alone feels like.”

“You’ve always hated being alone.” He said quietly. Maybe some things hadn’t changed…

“I hate it so much more now.” She whispered, grip on him tightening. “With the Force cuff, I couldn’t feel the galaxy. I couldn’t feet you… No one came down that hallway. No voices, no faces. The guards faced away and wouldn’t speak. The other prisoners were so far away… There was nothing but Omega, telling me for a few moments a day that she’d seen you. That you were alive. The experiments weren’t as bad as the isolation.”

Crosshair wrapped both arms around her. “I thought I dreamed it at first. When you got there. You walked in the room I was strapped down in and spoke, then got stunned… When I woke up in my cell, I thought it was a nightmare. Until Omega showed up and said it was real.” 

“I told you I’d find you.” She breathed. 

“And I told you not to come.” 

“The Bad Batch isn’t exactly known for their ability to take orders.” She closed her eyes. “Remember Anaxes?”

“You pissed the whole Council off with that stunt you pulled.” He smiled. “But you saved Echo.” 

“So maybe I haven’t changed as much as you think.” She started to smile as well. “I’m still finding my way. But I want you to be a part of the journey.”

“I missed most of it.”

“Can I tell you what it was like?” She looked up again. Crosshair nodded, searching her face for any indication of what she thought. “It was a fight, Crosshair. Every single breath without you. My illness, the Empire, my guilt… you were my reason for everything. You were the only future I wanted to get to, and then you were gone. I wanted to die so many times, but I’d fight to keep the team safe another day. I stopped noticing the taste of my own blood because it was on my tongue so often. And I hated myself for going on living without you. I hated myself for leaving you on Kamino, even when you said you wanted to stay. I never should have. I knew that chip wasn’t gone… I’m so sorry, Crosshair. You were right when you said I wasn’t loyal to you, and you suffered for my mistake.” 

“I didn’t exactly give you much of a choice, when I tried to kill you.” He frowned, looking at her wide eyes.

“That doesn’t mean the choice I made didn’t hurt you, Crosshair. And I know it did. Loyalty has always been everything to you, and that hasn’t changed.” She reached up and wiped her eyes, the scattered droplets of her tears clinging to her lashes like diamonds in the low light. 

Crosshair hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear someone apologize for leaving. He hadn’t realized how much it had hurt, until she hit him with his own thoughts. Just like she always had, when she asked who hurt him or why he was afraid to admit he’d been walking wounded. Fuck, she was still his Miria. There was a galaxy of reasons between them besides a couple battered promises and Mayrin.

“I hurt you too. I left you alone, when you needed me. When you were sick, without the Temple, and probably so fucking scared…” He grimaced. “And it wasn’t like I didn’t think about it. I thought about you constantly. Every time someone mentioned collateral damage, or I saw a family… every time I’d stop and ask myself what the hell I was doing before I just did it anyway… there you were. Even before you started talking in my head.” 

“I was terrified.” She admitted. “That I’d die before I ever saw you again. That you’d never know that I was waiting for you… that you’d never come home. What you said on Kamino… it almost killed me. If it hadn’t been for Mayrin, I wouldn’t have wanted to live at all.” 

“I’m sorry.” He murmured. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.” 

She leaned up and he half dragged her up his chest to kiss her, apology a flavor she hadn’t known she needed to taste either. They’d both half broken the other, and Tantiss had finished the job. But shattered glass could be pieced together and still make a beautiful picture.

She didn’t expect the heat to bloom so fast, but the kiss when from remorse to insistence in only moments. The hands wrapped around her waist moved to her hips and squeezed, asking permission to touch her. She felt the need beneath it, the same one she had to put as much of herself against him. It wasn’t about sex and desire, but just a desperation to finally feel whole after being without something for so long. The equivalent of the first gasp of air after being dragged underwater, or a full canteen after being lost in the desert. They needed each other as much as air or water. 

They both fumbled, like shinies on a first shore leave, not even bothering to get the clothes all the way off. Miria’s pants went down to her knees and Crosshair just barely got the front button of his out of the way before he was pulling her to him on her side, curling over her back and pulling her knee up just enough to fit himself inside her. His arms wrapped around her, one over her waist and the other tucked under her head. She curled both hands into that one and held it to her cheek, breath sharp at the sudden intrusion without much warning. 

She didn’t mind the sting that accompanied the stretch, if it meant he was home. There might be time for sweet and romantic, but right now this was survival. She needed to feel him, and he to feel her, or they’d both crumple into the nothingness that Tantiss tried to leave them with. “Th-thank you.” Crosshair whispered in her ear, because he didn’t know what else he was supposed to say. 

Thank you for coming for me. Thank you for not forgetting. Thank you for still loving me.

“Shh.” She murmured, neither of them moving. “Just… stay right there. Let me feel you for a while, so I know you’re real.” She breathed. 

He nodded, burying his face in the crook of her neck. It had always been his favorite place to curl into when he just needed the galaxy to go away. When he’d seen too much, or the war wouldn’t let him be. In the Empire, on the nights when he felt like the blood on his hands would never come clean, he’d imagine holding her just like this until he could stand the thought of existing again. 

She reached back, running her fingers through his buzzed hair gently, until she felt his ragged breathing quiet against her neck. “We really fucked each other up.” He mumbled. 

Miria smiled faintly. “Love is a lightsaber. It kills as much as it saves.” 

Crosshair squeezed her tighter to him, a ragged gasp escaping both of them as it pressed him further into her heat. “Fuck…” 

She tried not to giggle, exhaustion creeping up her spine. “On purely technicality, we are.”

He kissed her neck, and she felt him smile against her skin. “Quit laughing. You’ll wake the baby up.”

Miria closed her eyes, the adrenaline she’d been propping herself up with to have this conversation fading until she felt herself melting back into the arms of sleep. Crosshair seemed to be having the same experience, not moving at all. “Darling…” She mumbled. “Can we just… stay like this?” She didn’t want him to back a single inch away from her. She wanted to feel his heartbeat from inside herself until morning, and be entirely sure that she wasn’t alone again. 

He nodded, fumbling a blanket over them on the off chance one of his siblings walked in before they woke up. He didn’t want to have any conversations right now. He just wanted to hold on to Miria, and when the sun came up they’d figure out how parenting worked together. But right now…

Whatever way they’d come apart, they could figure out how to make it work. Someone had told him once that love was never having to say you were sorry… but that sounded like banthashit. “Miria?”

“Mnn?” She breathed, head lolled comfortably into the crook of his arm underneath it. 

“Ni kartayli gar darasuum.” He mumbled. “Thank you. For not giving up.”

“I promised you right now.” She yawned quietly. “And all the right nows… add up… darasuum.” She dozed off, cuddled into his arms

Every right now led to eternity. And Miria always kept her promises.

[integra1127grimmreaper]

Hello Darling - Part six

Negan Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 5

Warning: swearing, implied smut

Summary: everything comes full circle for Negan and Raven

A/N: I had a ball of a time bringing this story to life, thank to @ravenrose18​ for giving the opportunity tell your story 💖

song - Hold me while you wait by Lewis Capaldi

It took some time and a lot of hard work... and hard work it was. But eventually Raven managed to get some sort of a compromise between the Sanctuary and the other communities.

Rick and the others didn’t trust Negan, but they trusted Raven and they knew in order to secure the safety and future of their people; they had to do whatever was needed to do so, even if it meant working alongside the devil himself.

“Still can’t believe you made all of this possible” Rick remarks as they watched Saviors alongside members of Alexandria exchanging loads of supplies.

“You’re beginning to sound like Negan” Raven chuckles softly as Rick side-eyed her with a scoff.

“He mentioned something similar to me a few days ago while inspecting the gardens at the Sanctuary. To be honest, I'm just glad that any more unnecessary bloodshed was prevented.”

“You and me both” Rick nods in agreement.

“To be honest, it still pisses me off sometimes that we have to work with that asshole.”

“Why do you think I’m present for the exchanges instead of him” Raven comments.

“It’s better to be working with him instead of working for him, don’t you think?”

“You’re right...” Rick sighs out.

“Just wish that the start to this hadn’t happened the way it did.”

“You and I both” Raven agrees with a sigh of her own.

“How’s Maggie taking it?”

“She ain’t that happy about any of this” Rick replies.

“Still wants Negan dead more than anything, I’m trying my best to get her to understand why we’re doing this. Talked about possibly leaving, it’s just too much for her.”

“I understand” Raven nods.

“That’s why I thought it better to do Hilltop’s exchanges here as well. The less she’s around the Saviors, the better.”

“Yeah, I don’t believe she’ll ever come around on this arrangement” Rick comments.

“He regrets it” Raven responds.

“If he had known she was pregnant, he never would have killed Glenn. I regret it too... If I had been with, then I could have stopped it.”

“Ain’t know use in thinking of what ifs” Rick remarks.

“We made the decision to attack that outpost, and now we have to live with the consequences. By the way, thank you for bringing Daryl back.”

“Least I could do to make things right” Raven shrugs in response.

Rick places a hand on her shoulder then.

“Even so, thank you...”

“Thank you...” Negan remarks placing a kiss to the side of Raven’s hair as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

“For what?” Raven asks, tilting her head up to look at him.

Negan points a hand out at the expansion of the Sanctuary in front of them.

“For making all of this possible, for creating and keeping the peace.”

“It was nothing...” Raven shrugs in response.

“Nothing?” Negan scoffs.

“You prevented a bloodbath on both sides. United communities together that were once enemies.”

“I did what anyone else would have done” Raven comments.

“No, they wouldn’t” Negan responds.

“This day and age, people are selfish; only thinking about the here-and-now, not about the future. I was guilty of it myself.”

“I’ll take the recognition then” Raven smiles faintly in response.

“C’mon... have something to show ya.”

“What is it?” Raven enquires as Negan led her to his bedroom.

Negan shakes his head at her.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Ok, fine...” Raven rolls her eyes with a faint smirk.\

I’m waiting up, saving all my precious time

Losing light, I'm missing my same old us

Before we learned our truth too late

Resigned to fate, fading away

*

“No way...!” Raven gasped out in surprise at the romantic scene laid out in front of her.

“Hope ya like it?” Negan sheepishly remarks.

“I love it!” Raven exclaims excitedly, turning around to fling herself at him.

“You even remembered my favourite song...”

“It was the last song we danced to...” Negan comments staring down at the ground shyly.

“I’m surprised you remembered that night” Raven remarks, attempting to get him to look her in the eye.

“It was the last happy moment we had before shit went sideways” Negan finally looks up with teary eyes.

“Negan...” Raven cups his face in the palm of her hands, wiping away the tears with her thumbs.

“Don’t do that. Remember what we agreed on?”

Negan nods as she holds his gaze on her.

“Concentrate on the here and now, not the past.”

Linking her arms around the back of his neck, Raven gently smiles at him.

“How about a dance?”

*

So, tell me, can you turn around?

I need someone to tear me down

Oh, tell me, can you turn around?

But either way

Hold me while you wait

I wish that I was good enough (Hold me while you wait)

If only I could wake you up (Hold me while you wait)

My love, my love, my love, my love

Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)

“I can’t believe you actually have this song...” Raven comments as she rested her head on Negan’s chest while they slowly danced to it.

“It was one of the only two things I had left to remember you by” Negan utters against her hair as he placed a kiss into it.

“Our tattoo?” Raven mutters staring up into his eyes then.

“Our tattoo...” Negan returns the stare with a head nod.

“I want to see it” Raven murmurs out then.

Without a word, Negan lets go of her then; taking a step back, he removes his jacket.

“Take the shirt off” Raven instructs him.

Silently staring down at her through his lashes, Negan slowly removes his shirt as well.

Silently stepping forward, Raven reached to stroke the tattoo on his outer bicep; their tattoo, the matching rose and raven tattoo they both had.

Negan remained deathly still as he silently eyed her next move, nearly choking on his own spit when Raven places a soft kiss onto the tattoo.

*

Tell me more, tell me something I don’t know

Did we come close to having it all?

If you’re gonna waste my time

Let's waste it right

I wish that I was good enough (Hole me while you wait)

If only I could wake you up (Hold me while you wait)

My love, my love, my love, my love

Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)

With an almost devilish smirk, Raven reaches to remove her shirt but Negan halts her with his own hands.

“Are you sure...?”

After months of taking things slowly between the two of them, she felt that now was the right time to take the next step in their relationship.

“Yes...” Raven utters out, reaching up to cup his cheek.

With lust filled eyes, Negan stares down at the hand he still had on her shirt.

“May I?”

Biting into her lip, Raven silently nods.

*

I wish you cared a little more (Hold me while you wait)

I wish you’d told me this before (Hold me while you wait)

My love, my love, my love, my love

Won't you stay a while? (Hold me while you wait)

Removing Raven’s shirt, the first thing that Negan’s eyes land on was their matching tattoo. Kneeling, almost trance like; he gently traces the lines of the tattoo, pressing a soft kiss to it.

Gasping out softly, Raven tilts her head back, grabbing hold of Negan’s hair as he continues trailing kisses along the contours of her torso.

Taking it as a sign to continue, Negan unbuttons her pants, slowly peeling them down her legs while pressing kisses against the exposed skin.

Stepping out of her shoes and pants, Raven gently tugged at Negan’s hair to get him to stand. The two stood silently staring into each other’s eyes for a few minutes until Raven wrapped her arms around Negan’s neck to pull him down for a kiss.

“You’re overdressed” Raven remarks after breaking the kiss.

“Guess I am” Negan flashes her a dimpled smirk.

With an eagerness, Raven makes herself comfortable upon the bed as she watched Negan remove his clothing.

“You liking the show?” Negan snickers out at Raven clapping her hands when he had removed his pants.

“Been awhile since I’ve had a strip show, so yeah, I’m enjoying myself” Raven giggled.

“Lil minx...” Negan growled, making his way onto the bed.

Raven’s giggles are instantly cut short when Negan grips hold of her legs, dragging her underneath his body with a strong tug.

*

This is you, this is me, this is all we need

Is it true? My faith is shaken, but I still believe

This is you, this is me, this is all we need

So won’t you stay a while?

“She knew” Negan utters out into the quiet room.

Lifting her head from his chest, Raven furrows her brow in confusion.

“Lucille...” Negan answers her silent question.

“She knew about the strong bond you and I had. I think she knew it all along.”

“Knew what?”

“That we loved each other more than just being friends” Negan responds.

“I never gave any indication for her to think so” Raven murmurs apologetically at the thought of having hurt Lucille in anyway.

“Neither did I...” Negan faintly smiles, stroking her cheek lovingly.

“But she knew, and she knew we would never betray her in any way or form. That’s why she made me make that promise...”

“What promise?” Raven sets up in confusion.

“She wanted me to move on with my life after she died, wanted me to have a second chance at love... with you.”

“What...?” Raven stared at him open mouthed.

“She was so pissed at me for not having gone to find you when the outbreak happened. Said I was blowing my second chance at happiness.”

“It would only be Lucille to be mad at you for that...” Raven giggled shaking her head at the thought.

“That what I loved about her most” Negan nodded, laughing as well.

“I loved her for that too” Raven smiled in agreement.

“She was always the reasonable one between the three of us.”

“The wises too it seems” Negan chuckled in agreement.

“In some way I feel like she’s behind me finding you again. She guided us back to each other.”

“I think so too” Raven smiled at him.

Negan smiles in response, gently brushing the hair out of her face.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Negan” Raven smiled back at him.

“We never got to dinner” Raven giggled staring at the table that had been laid out in the center of the room.

Tipping down, Negan pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Sleep baby, it’s fine, tomorrow’s another day.”

*

Stay a while (Hold me while you wait)

Stay a while (Hold me while you wait)

My love, my love, my love, my love

Won't you stay a while?...

“Lucy Smith, get your butt in this house this instant!” Raven yelled at her six-year-old daughter.

“But Mama...” the little girl groaned in displeasure at her mother’s orders.

Raven shoots her a silent warning, and finally the little girl departs from her friends to make her way over.

“Did you teach your little brother a swear word?” Raven enquires.

Folding her arms behind her back, Lucy innocently rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet.

“And what word would that be Mama...?”

“Don’t be a smartass” Raven scolds her.

“Who’s swearing now...?” Lucy innocently scoffs at her mother’s words.

“Says the one that taught her three-year-old brother the word ‘fuck-face’...?”

“I leant it from Papa...” Lucy shrugs with an innocent grin.

“I warned your father about that” Raven frowns in displeasure.

“Warned me about what?” a raspy voice boomed through the living-room.

“Your ‘sweet angel’ of a daughter taught our three-year-old a swear word” Raven turned around to shoot daggers at her husband.

“No shit...?” Negan remarks with a shit-eating grin.

“What word?”

“Negan!” Raven gasps out in annoyance.

“Sorry baby...” Negan grins sheepishly at her.

“Fuck-face” Lucy answers nonchalantly.

“Oh, that’s a good one” Negan giggles at his daughter’s remark.

“I give up!” Raven sighs, throwing her hands up in defeat.

“Aw... c’mon Mama... don’t be like that...” Negan stalks her with an apologetic smirk.

“I know the dead walks the earth, but I would still like our children to have some manners” Raven pouts in displeasure.

“They have half my DNA...” Negan wraps his arms around her with a chuckle.

“What did you expect?”

“That my half would provide them with manners” Raven grumbles.

“Sorry baby...” Negan flashes her a sheepish grin.

“Can’t stay mad at you now, can I?” Raven mumbles staring deep into his eyes.

“Nope” Negan snickers, tipping down to capture her lips in a kiss.

“Love you...”

“Love you too” Raven responds breathlessly.

“I love you both!” a voice suddenly pipes in.

Remembering the presence of their daughter, Negan and Raven both chuckles out at her remark as Negan picked her up into his arms.

“We love you too, baby-girl" Raven and Negan smiles, each pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Raven couldn’t be happier with the way things had worked out; she had managed to bring the communities together, managed to stop Negan’s tyrant behavior, and managed to build a stronger, better Sanctuary along with him.

Negan and she had two beautiful children together, and together they would watch them grow to become remarkable beings in the new world their parents had built for them.

It seemed that Lucille had been right all along; Negan and Raven were meant for each other and because of her, they got a second chance at love.

[misshoneyimhome]

Are there any other artists or songs in particular that you would use as inspiration for new requests? Theres so many songs i hear and think “damn that would be a good story” but music taste is so personal!

Oh, there are so many babe! I'm generally so inspired by song lyrics and often have that same thought - I've got a couple of playlists I often listen to if I'm in need of a little inspiration 😉 One I use a lot is; Hangover Healings

But overall I'm rather inspired by artists like T Swift, Ed Sheeran, and Lewis Capaldi 🤍 A few songs I like listening to when writing;

Ayo Technology - Millow (Good for smut)

Grace - Lewis Capaldi (A little sad / heartbreak)

Hungry Eyes - Eric Carmen (Fluff / sensual)

Crazy in Love - Beyonce (Fifty Shades version) (Good for smut)

Uncover - Zara Larsson (a little sad / heartbreak)

Perfect - Ed Sheeran & Andrea Bocelli (Fluff / Romance)

But it also depends on the mood - I usually get a lot of my inspiration when I'm listening to music while running or in the shower 😂

Hope that answers your question 🤍

[harry-styles14]

Ok I'm almost with the Lewis Capaldi I just forgot about it.. But dont we think that we need more The Kid Laroi on here? I'm thinking of doing him after Lewis I can't rlly do smuts until later on bc well... I suck at them 🥲 but yeah I think he needs a little love too, me personally I'm in love with him but idk 🤗

HOLD UP HOLD UP 🥵😭