#letter carrier

[roguekhajiit]

A man walked up to me today with his peen hanging out.

I'm a mail carrier on a highway contracted route in Alaska. I do work for the USPS, but I'm not employed with them. These are routes that are too spread out and too rural even for the USPS employed rural carriers, so they contract these routes out to independent carriers like us.

So, that's what I was doing today when I got an eye full of a 50 yr old penis. This is how it happened.

I pull up to a stop, and since this particular stop was what I consider to be the halfway point of my route, I decided to check my email. I was waiting for something important and I didn't want to miss it. I wasn't even there a minute when I looked up to see a big white truck pull up in front of my little Forester.

I decided, ok, I'll wait a little more and proceed to mess around on my phone while this dude gets out of his truck and goes to check his mail.

He gets back into his truck, and I wait another minute, but he doesn't leave. OK, I think to myself, maybe he decided to read his mail before he drives off. So, I get out, grab the next bundle of mail, and pull the arrow key out of my pocket to open the first CBU (Cluster Box Unit), and I start delivering the mail all the while I'm acutely aware of everything around me. I'm delivering mail on the side of a highway with only my car to shield me from the traffic going by 20 mph over the posted speed limit. By now I can tell by the sounds of the tires on each car if they are just driving past me or if they are going to stop behind my car and ask me some inane question like "Do you have anything for me?" You're a complete stranger to me. Am I supposed to know who you are? But on this particular day, the traffic on that road was nearly non-existent

Since he hasn't left yet, I decided to deliver the mail to each CBU before I even start on the packages. I don't care that he's sitting there as long as he stays in his truck. I get halfway done with the third unit when I hear his truck door open again. I can hear the snow crunch under his feet as he approaches me. So, I close up the CBU all the while mentally preparing myself for yet another stupid question. He doesn't disappoint, either. Upon seeing that I closed up the CBU, he asks, "I guess I have to go get my key then?" I turn to answer him and tell him that yes, he needs his key to get his mail when I see something that I never once saw in all my seven years of working retail.

Don't get me wrong, though, I've seen a lot of shit working retail. Some of it even included actual shit. But seeing a grown ass man piss himself in the produce section while snacking on grapes still could not mentally prepare me for what I saw today.

This man stood there and asked me if I finished delivering the mail for box #5 all the while free ballin with his little Vienna sausage poking out of his fully unzipped and unbuttoned pants. It was roughly 20 degrees outside today. How could he not feel his Vienna sausage shrivel up like a piece of Jerky?

I quickly told him no and finished locking up the CBU. Then, as he was walking back to his truck to get his key, I walked back to my own vehicle and fully noped the fuck outta there. It didn't matter that I hadn't finished delivering the letters, nor did it matter that I never even started delivering the parcels. I just had to get away from there. I circled back, of course, after completing all the other stops on that street. But I found he was still sitting there in his truck. So I passed the stop up again.

Later, after all my other stops had been completed, I would circle back one more time to find he finally vacated that stop. The folks got their mail and packages, just a little bit later than usual, thanks to their free ballin neighbor.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Letter Carrier Draws 3-Year Term For Mail Theft," Winnipeg Tribune. April 25, 1942. Page 17. ---- Pleading guilty in county court today on a charge of stealing a letter containing $1.75 from the mail, Fred Stinton, letter carrier, was given the minimum sentence of three years in the penitentiary by Judge Cory.

[akatix]

Ahn The Messenger

If you recognize this kiddo of mine you qualify for a seniors discount!  A friend of mine challenged me to write a short story for an anthology thing, and this kid popped in my brain as a potential subject. Naturally instead of writing, I sketched up an update for her design (original was from 2015! can be seen in her TH still lol https://toyhou.se/10068193.ahnah) Ahnah the messenger 💌 Now maybe my brain will let me attempt to write the thing. 

Posted using PostyBirb

[vesperstardust]

Mystery Inc. could never (our Path to Carcosa group)

[merklins]

This looks like it should be a shitpost BUT IT ISN'T!! THE GRAND MCDONALDS HANGOUT IS CANON.

[chainsawworld]

Thinking more about my little robot

[miidnighters]

plot idea: someone makes callie angry/hurts her feelings and she curses them so they can't get within a 50ft radius of the store so they have to go to increasingly ridiculous ways to apologise and get her to lift the curse

[roguekhajiit]

I'm off work today because I'm at an important appointment that I've been waiting months to get into. Work has been aware of this for months. But as I'm sitting here in the waiting room, I get a text:

"[Post Master] says [they'll] need a response on this when you get in"

With a picture attached of a customer complaint.

This dude doesn't even have a mailbox up on my route. If he does, it's not marked, and so at stops like the ones I deliver to, I can't tell which one is his.

Example:

I haven't even been able to access those boxes for the past month because all the people that get mail at the stop have an "It's not my responsibility" attitude. But when they are expecting a package, they have no problem calling in to complain that there is "no reason why my mail can't be delivered."

But have you shoveled in front of your box lately, Karen? Did you have to stand on top of your car to check your mail? Did you have to use snowshoes just to access your box?

Now, this guy claims to have a box at that stop, but there's no way for me to tell which box is his because his address isn't on any of those. So, I held his mail along with the mail of everyone else at that stop while waiting for them to clear the snow so I can resume delivery. That's over 30 days of mail I held for him. When the snow was finally cleared, I took all the mail out for that stop, including his. I was able to deliver everyone's mail, except for his. When I again failed to locate his box, I had no choice but to RTS (return to sender) it. It's been more than 30 days and I hadn't heard anything from him. Thirty days worth of welfare letters, social security letters, bills, and court notices. In all that time, I only had a couple of people contact the post office asking about their mail. Each time, it was because they were expecting a package.

Postal regulations tell us that if the mail isn't claimed in 10 days, it's to be returned to the sender. I gave him 30 days.

Some tips to prevent this:

Make sure your box is kept unobstructed at all times. This includes clearing the snow in winter time and making sure there are no cars or garbage cans blocking your box.

Make sure your box is properly and clearly marked with your full and complete address. This includes the full street name and any apartment numbers.

Make sure your box is in decent working order. The door should be fully attached and closable, (no, setting the door inside the box doesn't count), the flag is fully attached and functional, and the box itself is completely attached to the post and not falling off.

[hereissomething]

so FUCKING tired.

[yetisidelblog]

@upontheshelfreviews

@greenwingspino

@one-time-i-dreamt

@tenaflyviper

@akron-squirrel

@ifihadaworldofmyown

@justice-for-jacob-marley

@voicetalentbrendan

@thebigdeepcheatsy

@what-is-my-aesthetic

@ravenlynclemens

@writerofweird

@bogleech

[the-whispers-of-death]

now that there is something going on between them, hellstorm is now bombarded daily by shitty, cheesy aviation pick up lines-

‘i thought i was lost until my radar pointed in your direction’

‘didn’t know angels could be found at this altitude’

and sometimes when he’s tired, pilot!reader will catch himself sending messages such as ‘will you be my pilot? i’ll let you pull my stick’

Hellstorm, writing letters to Stone (don't ask me how they got each other's mailing addresses): Stone, are cheesy pick-up lines a normal thing to do when dating? Do I say cheesy pick-up lines back?

Stone, writing back a week later: Why do you think I know what dating is like?

Anyways, I think Hellstorm would try his best to give you cheesy, romantic pick-up lines back. In his defense, he's only had one-night stands so dating is new to him. But at least he's giving back the same energy you are, right?

[star-labs-intern]

Carlos Valdes on The Letter Carrier Instagram

Happy 35th birthday week Carlos Valdes! - April 20, 2024 - 1 , 2 , 3

[the-cypress-grove]

Prompt: 17

Gulls brough news of the sea, pigeons of business, ravens of deaths. This was the first time she had received a letter carried in the claws of a dove.

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

FUN FACT IF YOU EMAIL ENOUGH PEOPLE SOMETIME (SOMETIMES) GOOD THINGS HAPPEN

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

How tf does the Genshin postal system work actually. Bc we get characters’ birthday letters every year on their exact birthday no matter how far away they are from us physically and sure that might just be a gameplay mechanic but ALSO at the beginning of the caribert quest, Kaeya’s letter got to us even though the address was literally just Paimon (yeah that was kind of luck given that we walked into the guy delivering the letter but it worked). And he and Diluc sent letters to each other when Diluc was gone which theoretically would’ve been easier for Diluc provided he had access to a means of sending letters since Kaeya was just staying in Mondstadt but Diluc was moving around and probably had to be somewhat discreet in his movements so that the fatui didn’t immediately track him down and kill him (yes ik he was eventually tracked down by harbingers when he did enough damage to their bases for them to deem him a problem worth exterminating but even in Diluc’s rage-fueled revenge run I doubt he would’ve made it as easy as “here is the hotel I’m staying at under my actual legal name”) so how tf did they get mail to each other.