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prettyoddfever · 4 years ago

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RYAN’S & BRENDON’S LJ POSTS IN EARLY 2005

I condensed the format of the livejournal posts to save space btw... and these are being taken from the masterpost that Letsdisco generated in summer 2006 using ljseek after Ryan deleted his livejournal and Brendon made his friends-only. That masterpost is still being passed around today, so that’s why the lists of their posts usually have similar formatting and are all missing the same exact entries. I think I only saved a few of Brendon’s fall 2005 posts that happened to be deleted before summer 2006, so I’m missing some of his other posts as well as some pictures. But at least we have something...

RYAN

January 23: your mouth is like a magazine. sup. i’m thinking we move the band to l.a. because for some reason or another we end up down there every weekend. anyways..nothing big going on. trying to write songs at breakneck speed.and “this mission just got a hell of a lot more impossibler”. song #1 for the record:done. well,maybe. the academy is…coming here feb 12. looking forward to meeting those dudes.you will all love their record. i got some good new games for gameboy advance which should be good for the road....pete put a shitty picture of us up on the clandestine site. go make fun of it. brendon is wearing a bra

January 30: ok. i haven’t had any sort of schedule in my life for the past 2 to 3 months so im trying to act like a normal person now. 1. wake up before noon 2. write every single day 3. listen to a new band every day the list will grow but thats for starters.

February 4: maybe its my love of dispondent things but the woodsman is a good movie, see that. i’ve been thinking alot on what i want this record to be about. and i have some things i’d like to say i just hope it comes out right. parts will be about some of you too like it or not. i am going to start wearing my seatbelt more often. i have seen some pretty bad car wrecks happen in my head. give me envy give me malice give me closure. if i talk alot of shit on this record i hope i can back it up.

February 10: portugal the man, is really, really good. i think.

February 23: today is the worst day of the rest of your life. blink. i will miss you dearly. this is band alone is the reason i play music now. tom delonge will always be my biggest influence and best hero. i’ve got to much hurt going on with everything .boy, things do like to build up and fall apart all at the same time for me.

February 24: i’ve been trying to find a new heart on ebay. i think they quit making those though.

March 10: “Proposing college courses on the pigments of his eye color which had prevailingly changed in the matter of your position toward the sun.” wish that were about me. you out write me any day of the week.

March 15: panic at the disco are such sellouts sooooo, its official. we signed to decaydance/fueled by ramen! we’ve got alot of work to do for this record. i’ll be pretty much hibernating and only coming out when something super important comes up that i think you all should hear about. wishusluck

April 4: snap your fingers. tap your heel to the concrete. in this little number we party like its 1888. i hope you like to dance to different beats. you’ll love this record. or hate it.

April 15: i traded in you bedsheets for shoddy transmission dreams in the back of a van. this is where i am supposed to write how i feel. “she sure as hell aint you,but lord knows she’ll have to do” imlosingit.

April 25: death on two legs. mr. mercury said it best. what is my excuse. i do drunk dialing minus the alchohol. god damn i’d hate to see what i’d do under the influence. but you see what you’ve done? this is what i get for giving myself to you in the first place .indiangivericannotbewhoiwish. it goes like this. i am here. now i’m there.

April 26: got a heavy metal mouth that hurls obscenity and i get my check from the trash treasury because i took my own insides out it don’t matter cause i have no sex life all i want to do now is inject my ex wife.

April 28: “can anybody find me somebody to love”

May 7: “You got a new friend, now I’m the odd man gone. You got a new friend. You got a new friend, I know. And your mom’s got you convinced that he’s the one. He’s all you need, so forget me – marry him at once. But if you ever change your mind…I could still buy that box of wine. I still have your copy of Harold and Maude. But you got a new friend. Yeah, you got a new friend” i’ve been weaving you a playlist, if you put together all the lyrics from these past few entries, you’ll see.you’ll see. “i’ll write the album of the year, and i know she’ll love me then. i swear to god she did its the way she’d bite my lower lip and push her hips against my hips and dig her nails deep into my skin.” i’m in a slump.

May 14: “In periods of rapid personal change, we pass through life as though we are spellcast. We speak in sentences that end before finishing. We sleep heavily because we need to ask so many questions as we dream alone.”

May 18: this is prefect non fiction fiction. oh look what i found. this evening,while cleaning. i found your diary. it doesn’t get any better than this. this is the scalp off the head of your worst enemy. just what were you thinking? leave it to me. i’ll write your life. displeasing things. i’ve already started on some of the bigger events.wedding days..the part where i can’t figure out why i can’t seem to just forget you completely.every word i write will be the truth about how and why you threw me away. things that you’d only find deep inside someones diary. and when i fill all the pages i’ll send it back your way. you know, just to see what you think.

May 23: you’ve got to hope there’s someone for you, as strange as you are. who can cope with the things that you do, without trying to hard.cause you can bend the truth, till it’s suiting you. these things you’re wrapping all around you, you’ll never know what they will amount to. cause life is just going on without you. it’s the end of the things you know….here we go. listen to this song. it’s moving

May 29: since you’ve been gone i cant breathe for the first timeeeeshegivesmebutterflies? whaaaat.how.

here’s the May 30th post

BRENDON

March 15: don't shake. i hate to see you tremble. looking forward to california next week. march 24, anaheim, house of blues. see you there.. does anyone have anymore suggestions for good bands out there? if so, please tell me. watched "badder santa" in class last week. very funny movie. also, any donations to the "brendon is a helpless, hopeless bum" fund would be greatly appreciated. thank you.

March 18: ground control to major tom. take your protein pills and put your helmet on.* i learned a few things today: the school system is fucked. white "thugs" at my school are degrading towards girls and very rude (and loud as well). some people really DON'T have a brain. sad. i almost died driving today. i was waiting in the far left turn lane at a red light when a random van going around 60 jumped the median and rammed the truck in front of me. scared the shit out of me. luckily no one was hurt. im wondering if i should walk with my class. you know, the whole graduation ceremony...

March 25: it’s not enough to hear me say you’ve won* california was awesome. it was good to see friends and meet new people. played a lot of gameboy. super mario 3 is an addiction. the new mars volta cd is awesome as well. i still havent found what im looking for.

April 6: ...it's so close but we're so far away...* sadness. i cant have much dairy anymore b/c it ruins my voice. would anyone possibly have a diet that excludes dairy? i would greatly appreciate it. the 2nd song on the new mae album is amazing to me. im beginning to lose faith in medicine. we are still writing. i really hope some of you enjoy this record. love.

April 12: a very merry unbirthday to me. today is the day where im supposed to feel older. more mature. responsible. legal…nope. today is meant to be a leap into the rest of my life. a new beginning…nope. every year on this day is meant to be a “happy birthday” but today is just “birthday” mein getburtstag. i’ll stop looking forward to birthdays.

April 25: sooner or later we all sleep alone hmm these entries seem to be getting more and more pointless. that, or i'm just getting ornery and tired. i think its both. some kid in my german class was ranting about how "rock-a-billy" started every modern genre we listen to today. nice try, kid. hey monica. haha. check it out: "monica is the coolest girl ever. we're gunna get married.i love her." hahaha. nice.

May 6: you get me every time, why’d you have to be so cute? to those attending my school: generally i wouldnt talk to you, but i, just that desperate for friends and attention. i love dreams. when they come true.

May 14: get up you son of a beeotch, cause [brendon] loves ya “i hope they love you like i did when you needed me…” so anxious to begin a new routine.

May 30: where are we; what the hell is going on? imogen heap= amazing. period. the countdown has begun to maryland. excitement. stress. anxiety. we’ve got the best of both worlds. dance and “other.” i hope you kids are ready for it. “we continue now with our piano interlude.”

* the 3 posts with the asterisks after the titles were saved by @starafar!

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