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soft-for-them · 4 years ago

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husband has a real ring to it ♡ sam wilson x male reader

anon: hey so like, being sam wilson's husband (or new husband) at your wedding??? (sorry it’s a bit short...)

i haven’t specified if the male reader is cis or trans but there is a bit in here where the reader compares themself to steve, whether you see this as the reader being trans or cis is up to you.

the gif has no significance it’s just a good gif... also there is a HUGE lack of sam content out there. people get you shit together and write about my fave man. not proof read.

It is an odd time.

The country you now stand in is completely foreign to you. Nat can speak the language; you think it might me some form of Russian. If you could guess you think you might be in the Ukraine or a country that was once a part of Soviet Union.

None of the on the run Avengers will tell you exactly where you are for you safety but you don’t care.

All you care about right now is the blazer you just tried on is too wide at the shoulders.

Even Steve says the shoulders of the jet black jacket are too wide even for him and that saying something coming from a man who was artificially made to be the spitting image of masculinity and heroism.

Sometimes you do get jealous of the super soldier and how he came to be.

Once a skinny and short kid now the second most handsome man you’ve ever seen, sometimes you think ‘if only i was as strong as Steve and not a useless civilian’.

Thought if anyone hears your negative thoughts in this small, cramped room off the side of a small abandoned church you would be done for.

Natasha, Wanda, Steve and Sam have always loved you and they don’t tolerate your pessimism at all. None of them will take your self-loathing especially on this very day.

But that’s the thing, you’re not self-loathing today. You push away any non-happy thoughts and put on a genuine smile.

It may not be official in the eyes of the law for your other half is a wanted war criminal but your getting married to your long time boyfriend Sam Wilson today and nothing will stop you from doing so. You have both promised that he will properly marry you but for now you have agreed to exchanging rings.

‘Where did you find this place?’ you ask Nat as she takes you too big blazer from you.

The place is completely and utterly abandoned in the middle of nowhere. Plants have caved in apart of the roof but the stained glass still absorbs and reflects light making the rotten pews look like the seats of a king.

‘I knew you might not want to get married in a church but this is the safest place I could find, that with the fact this is no longer a place of worship.’ She walks over to you and tucks a handkerchief into your white dress shirt pocket.

Regardless of if your religious or not you know this place is a perfectly acceptable place to trade rings with the man you love.

Nat looks you over and smiles, her arms wrapping themselves around you in a rare hug.

‘You look very handsome (y/n).’ she mutters.

‘Even with my beard?’ you half joke, referring to the scraggly hair growing back on your chin from shaving it off the week before for a disguise.

‘You have a better beard that Sam and Cap put together.’ Her tone is joyous but utterly serious which makes you smile grow even bigger.

You do not feel any negativity, all you feel is utter euphoria in your wedding attire.

‘You ready to go’ she whispers like a happy mother about to marry off her only son.

All you do is nod as you let her lead you out to the alter where you both wait for Sam and Cap to arrive.

Wanda sits in a front pew; she very obviously misses Vision and if it was up to you he would be here to celebrate for you had befriended the synthetic man before the ‘civil war’ happened.

But alas none of you can risk you all being found out on your unofficial wedding day.

For a moment you all wait in silence looking up the stain glass of some kind of saint.

This isn’t the place you want to get married in but you can see it’s charm even if it’s been abandoned, ransacked and left to rot.

You can imagine Steve giving Sam a prep talk, for he had given you one about an hour before.

When Steve had talked to you he seemed like a overjoyed father, even with the tears in his eyes, you’re still thankful the super soldier talked to you.

Your waiting is cut short as the side door that you and Nat had came through opens to show both Steve and Sam.

Steve walks out first, holding the door open for Sam then Sam walks out, his eyes automatically on you.

‘Ow, I though Steve was going to walk you down the aisle.’ Wanda quips to Sam despite her brooding feelings.

A short conversation goes on between Sam and Steve (probably another pep talk) but all you can focus on is Sam looking at you as he talks to Steve.

Steve pats Sam on the shoulder, which turns into a hug, then he lets him go.

Sam wears a suit very similar to yours; a simple black suit that could be found quickly and very easily without being detected by Tony or an of the American government.

The woman in the small mum and pop shop where very kind to you both despite their being a language barrier, they had helped you get the suits for a good price.

Much like you also Sam wears no blazer jacket, with you don’t mind considering you can see every muscle through the hand made white shirt.

‘Where’s your blazer?’ you ask.

He walks right out to you and holds your hands. His hands are cold but you assume it’s from standing around in a derelict church for a while.

‘It was too small in the shoulders.’ He smiles, the gap in teeth showing.

‘Ah, that could have been my blazer Sam.’ You laugh grabbing the attention of the others. You all laugh at the mishap of the mixed up blazer but that doesn’t really matter.

Wanda stands up and passes both of you the rings; one single silver band with your name carved on the inside for you and a much fancier looking ring for Sam. Despite Sam’s ring looking more expensive it’s actually very cheap.

He had quickly bought it when you were all hiding out in China, Sam had quickly realised that he had a ring for you but he didn’t have one for himself. He’s had your pure silver ring for years now waiting for the right moment to give it to you.

‘How do we actually do this?’ you whisper whilst the other sit down on the pews.

‘I don’t really know, maybe when just exchange the rings and say something.’

‘Like vows? Do we kiss?’ the questioning isn’t really that serious for the two of you are smiling like idiots.

‘Well all I can say is that I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you-’ Sam begins saying as he slips the silver ring on your finger, ’-I love you my husband.”’

’Wow… husband has a real ring to it.’ You beam as look down at Sam’s hands, you fingers nimbly placing his ring on, ‘-Does this now mean I get to kiss the bride?’

Your joke not only makes yourself laugh but you can hear the laughter of the other in the background.

‘Gladly.’ Is all Sam say before holding your face and kissing you.

honestly i don’t think this is the best thing ever but i’m posting it.

i’ve been writing a lot of ftm trans reader requests today so i kind of automatically wrote the reader as trans at first. i’ve changed it so the reader can be cis or trans but i just putting that out there just in case i’ve forgotten to change something. (sorry)

also i know that many people have different types of weddings and cultures so i’ve tried to make it as ambiguous as i can, that why it’s not a technically legal wedding.

anyway, sam is the best and i would love to write more fics for him!

#sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x male reader #sam wilson x ftm reader #x male reader #x ftm reader #the falcon and the winter soldier #sam wilson

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kotokoharrow · 4 years ago

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Case Study 001: Haruka Sakurai

Note that this analysis is based around my own views. I do not present my way of interpreting Haruka as fact, and I am sharing this to see if others agree with me. If you disagree, you are more than welcome to say so and we can discuss it!

Content Warning: This analysis contains discussion of: Animal abuse and death, child abuse and death, emotional abuse, child neglect, murder, flashbacks and nightmares. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to any of these topics!

Evidence List:

Haruka’s Profile

Haruka’s Voice Drama

Undercover

Weakness

Two Breaths Walking

Voice Line

Timeline Convo

Character Analysis

A young male prisoner, quiet with downcast eyes. During Es’ early interrogations, he offered only a few constrained words in response. However, he has gradually become more talkative, forming an emotional bond over the course of his interviews. Once one begins to converse with him, his gentle pre-disposition is revealed.

He has a meek temperament and, even in Milgram, does not appear to be dissatisfied. Barely manages to communicate with Es and the other prisoners. However, during conversations, as if some meaning is lost along the way, there is a disconnect.

Haruka is a teenager with a very low opinion of himself, shown in his attitude in his voice drama and the lyrics of his song. When he appears in Undercover, he is shown wringing his hands together, avoiding looking at the camera, and when he finally does shows an unhappy expression. These pieces of his body language show that he is an anxious boy.

Haruka doesn’t appear to be very bright, with his song being written in hiragana, and he struggles to follow along with everything that Es says to him in his voice drama. He even says himself that he isn’t very bright. However, this is likely a result of his mother’s treatment of him, as he hasn’t been allowed to develop as he should have.

The shot in Undercover that shows his room shows young children’s toys on the floor. This, along with his speech patterns, show that he remains in a child’s mindset, despite being 17 years old. I believe that this is due to him becoming ‘stuck’ at an age where he experienced a traumatic event as a child - the event that revolved around fireworks and the girl in his MV.

Haruka’s primary motivation is love. He was neglected and emotionally abused by his mother his whole life, and so has been deprived of the love that most people receive from their parents. Despite love being his motivation, he shows in his interrogation questions that he doesn’t really understand what it is - he just knows that he wants it.

While his primary motivation is love, Haruka’s primary fear is abandonment. He is also afraid of being deceived, which again ties into his fear of abandonment. Haruka believes that everyone will leave him when they learn what he has done, and also believes that he will bring misfortune to others. This belief of bringing misfortune to others is likely a belief that his mother gave to him.

Haruka avoids situations and things that remind him of his trauma, such as animals and small children. This, as well as imagery in his MV, his mother’s treatment of him and his general personality, lead me to believe that he experiences PTSD.

The kanji in his given name means ‘far’ or ‘distant’, which likely references his personality, and the fact that he finds it difficult to get close to and communicate with others, due to having been deprived of connections for most of his life.

MV Analysis

I believe that Weakness takes place after Haruka has committed his crimes, and that it’s showing events from his past in the form of nightmares and flashbacks, which is why they appear distorted and there is heavy symbolism. As a result of this, even what we see in the MV is ambiguous as to whether it really happened, as dreams are not always literal and even with flashback-type nightmares, key facts can appear different to what happened in reality.

At the beginning of the MV, we see Haruka sitting in front of a dressing table, looking at himself in the mirror. The table is likely his mothers, as the perfume bottles on it seem to belong to a woman. Behind Haruka, we can see a window that shows that it’s daytime, but when his reflection in the mirror changes into his younger self, we can see that it is night-time outside (with red sky and a full moon). As the image changes, I believe this is Haruka experiencing a flashback, or perhaps a sign that he is having a nightmare.

I also believe that Haruka experiences PTSD as a result of his mother being emotionally abusive and neglectful towards him. I believe that this mistreatment when he was a young child explains a lot of his current personality - his behaviour fits in well with the behaviours of people who survive emotional abuse (doubting his own perception of things, a very strong negative opinion of himself, fear of abandonment).

There are many lyrics in Weakness that I believe point towards Haruka’s mother being emotionally abusive. The notable ones to me are: ‘Tell me, why are you drifting away from me? / Tell me, why do you say it’s my fault?’ and ‘If I tried and couldn’t say it / You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless”’. I believe that these lyrics are directed at Haruka’s mother.

As for imagery in the MV, when Haruka initially falls backwards from the dressing table, he falls into the liquid from his mother’s perfume, which shows how her treatment of him has surrounded him. Later, while he’s walking alongside her happily, she barely looks back down at him, and when adult Haruka pushes his younger self back, the following image is shown:

I believe the drawing in the background is meant to be Haruka’s mother, and his cruel treatment of his younger self is meant to show that he has internalised his mother’s abuse, going on to blame and punish himself for what he believes she would blame and punish him for.

Later, it shows Haruka as a child watching the fireworks with a girl his own age, whose face is blacked out like his mother’s. While it’s not clear what exactly happened, something bad happened to the girl, and she vanished from his life.

This is pure speculation, but I don’t think that Haruka killed the girl. I think something bad happened to her - possibly she even died - and that Haruka blames himself for what happened, whether fairly or unfairly. I believe that what happened was traumatic to Haruka, and he tried to avoid thinking about the bad part by focusing on his memory of the fireworks, which is a part of his denial.

Later, Haruka is petting a dog with his mother. Then, he goes outside to search for the dog, and comes across the dog’s body. Initially, I believed that Haruka had killed the dog, and I still think that this is a highly likely theory, as yellow roses are seen (which in flower language used to represent jealousy), and the lyrics that play during this point are ‘You praised me by saying “You’re crazy” / Thank you, I’ll do my best’ which, to me, alludes to children acting out for attention when they are being neglected, because due to the lack of positive attention they begin to see all forms of attention as a good thing, including negative attention.

However, in the timeline conversations, there is an exchange between Haruka and Shidou where Haruka has bloodied hands, and he tells a concerned Shidou that it comes from a bad habit of his, that when he’s tense he clenches his fists and his nails dig into his palms, causing them to appear bloodied.

Shidou: Sakurai-kun...? Could you show me your hand? Haruka: Hei!? No, this isn’t... it’s n-nothing... Shidou: Lend it to me. ...Your palm is covered in blood. Let’s have it disinfected. This... has it always been like this? Haruka: A-ah... I-it’s a habit... W-When I feel tense I grip my hands really tight, and my nails...

This detail has caused me to wonder if Haruka didn’t actually kill the dog. We see child Haruka looking for the dog nervously, and then appearing horrified when he finds the dogs corpse, then he looks down at his hands and sees blood on them. We also only see adult Haruka bludgeoning the dog. It’s common for people with PTSD to re-experience trauma from different perspectives, or with details changed, so it’s possible that Haruka did not kill the dog.

However, at this point, I think either explanation could be possible, so I’ll leave both of those theories here and move on.

Later, when it shows adult Haruka strangling child Haruka, I believe that this is when Haruka’s Milgram murder takes place. Before he begins strangling his child self, he is seen looking at a memory of himself being ignored by his mother, and becomes enraged, lashing out at his child self and strangling him, seemingly in an act of self-loathing.

However, I believe that Haruka is actually murdering his mother, having finally snapped and let out all of his repressed feelings. After the murder is over, I believe that Haruka was so horrified by what he did, he went into denial - which is something he has practice from doing his whole life - and the details of what he did became distorted.

In conclusion, I believe the following:

The MV takes the form of Haruka’s nightmares, which is why it’s ambiguous, unreliable and distorted

Haruka was emotionally abused and neglected by his mother since childhood

Haruka didn’t kill the girl, but he does blame himself for what happened to her

EITHER: Haruka killed the dog to try and get his mother to notice him, OR Haruka didn’t kill the dog but still in some way blames himself for the dog’s death

Haruka killed his mother directly due to his repressed feelings of anger towards her for abusing and neglecting him

Haruka is horrified by what he did, and on some level is in denial of the facts of what happened

Misc Analysis

Undercover

Haruka’s bedroom has toys that would be more appropriate in the bedroom of a young child. This shows that he is mentally stuck in a child-like state. Interestingly, there is also a drawing of a tree with two snakes that also appears during his MV. I don’t know what this means.

Haruka is shown strangling Es, which backs up the idea that Haruka’s murder happened when he was shown strangling his child self. Haruka’s mouth is wide open, showing that his murder involved heightened emotion on his part. This wasn’t a cold and calculated murder, this was a spur-of-the-moment response to something.

Interrogation Questions

I’m picking a few notable interrogation questions to analyse. In general, though, Haruka’s answers were much simpler than Yuno’s, which shows his child-like mindset and difficulty in understanding things.

Q: If one of your wishes could be granted, what would it be? A: I want to be loved.

Pretty straightforwards. This shows Haruka’s core motivation is to be loved.

Q: When was your first love? A: I don’t know.

Q: What’s the difference between romantic love and just love? A: Don’t they both mean that you like someone?

Q: What’s your ideal date plan? A: I don’t understand.

Despite his core motivation being wanting to be loved, Haruka doesn’t understand much about love, due to having been deprived of it his whole life.

Q: What kind of person is your father? A: I disappointed him.

This is the only time we hear of Haruka’s father. I’d guess that his mother blamed Haruka for his father leaving them, and that’s why he believes that he disappointed his father.

Q: Have you ever had a pet before? A: I have not.

Q: What is your favourite animal? A: I don’t like animals.

Q: What are some things you can’t deal with? A: Small children and animals.

Haruka denies any incident that was traumatic to him.

Q: What do you think of your family? A: I love them.

Despite having been deprived of love from his mother, he still says he loves them.

Q: Tell us what you enjoy doing. A: I like talking with the other prisoners.

Haruka talks about what he’s been doing since coming to Milgram, which implies that he didn’t have much he enjoyed doing beforehand.

Two Breaths Walking

A song about a boy meeting a girl. The girl tries to teach the boy about life, but due to the boy’s mother having taught him about life wrongly, he struggles to understand, and as a result ends up hurting the girl.

With Haruka as the boy, the girl in his MV as the girl, and his mother as the boy’s mother, this directly parallels Haruka’s MV. There isn’t much to talk about, because the parallels are pretty direct. It backs up the idea that Haruka’s mother was abusive, teaching him wrongly through her abuse and neglect.

Voice Drama

Es: Now, let’s begin the interrogation. Prisoner Number 1, Haruka. Haruka: O-Okay… I-I’m sorry… Es: Huh? Do you have something to apologise for? Haruka: U-uh, no… I’m sorry.

This shows us Haruka’s submissive personality. This kind of apologising for any perceived fault is very common in survivors of emotional abuse, because they learnt in the abusive environment that their abuser could find fault in anything, and to lower the severity of abuse, they would apologise. However, as this level of apologising isn’t needed or expected in regular situations, when it carries over it stands out.

Haruka: Ah, uh, um… I didn’t understand whatever it was you were saying. It was difficult. Es: Huh? Haruka: Uh, um… I’m sorry. I’m not that bright. Es: Haruka. What age are you? Haruka: Um… 17 years old, I think. Es: You think? Haruka: Uh, well… I have no interest in my age… I’m sorry.

Haruka isn’t used to having to think for himself, which is also common in survivors of emotional abuse. Abusers try to make their victims dependent on them, they may try to make decisions for their victims, or in the case of abusive parents may speak for them and deprive their children of the ability to develop. Taking into account Haruka’s cover song, I think it’s likely that this was the case with his mother.

Es: The only name left that hasn’t been said is Amane. Haruka: A-Amane. Es: What’s wrong? Haruka: I-I’m not good with them. Children at that age. A-Amane is a good girl, but she brings back b-bad memories.

This is most likely referring to whatever happened with the girl in Haruka’s MV. Haruka avoids thinking about traumatic incidents, even in his nightmares he avoids the details of them. Avoiding triggers of traumatic events is a symptom of PTSD.

Haruka: It’ll happen sometime. I… I… Even though I try to be normal, everything gets ruined. You, everyone, if you knew me… If you knew everything that I did… I’m… gonna be abandoned, that’s bound to happen. Because I’m a selfish killer.

Due to his abuse, Haruka solely blames himself for everything that happens. It’s likely that his mother blames him even for things that weren’t his fault, so this thought process stuck. Haruka’s primary motivation is love, and his biggest fear is abandonment.

Glitched Voice Line

Then what should I have done instead!? Tell me! Tell me so even I can understand!

I believe that this line from Haruka is addressed to his mother who he killed. He felt that he had no way to gain her love, and he is looking to her to tell him what to do.

Other Theories

Twin Theory

A theory I’ve seen says that the child in Haruka’s MV isn’t Haruka as a child, and is actually his twin. I don’t think we have any evidence to support this. I think that, given how much of Haruka’s MV is made up with abstract imagery, we should be careful with interpreting it too literally.

Autistic Haruka Theory

I have no issue with people seeing Haruka as being autistic, however, all of the theories about him being autistic seem to come from an outdated view of autism. I am autistic myself, and while I can recognise a lot of autistic traits in Haruka’s behaviour, I don’t think autism is what they were going for. I think that Haruka’s ‘autistic traits’ are, instead, supposed to show that he’s in a child-like mentality after a trauma that took place in his childhood, and that his behaviour has been strongly influenced by his abusive mother. I believe we have evidence that points towards this specifically, but no evidence that points specifically towards Haruka being autistic.

Unexplained

Why does Haruka say that his hands bleed when he’s nervous and what connection does that have to the blood on his hands in the MV?

What is the significance of the necklace that Haruka wears?

What is the significance of the girl in the MV?

What happened while watching the fireworks?

Did Haruka kill the girl?

What’s the significance of the tree and the snakes?

Final Verdict

My Verdict: Innocent.

I’m very glad that the popular vote determined that Haruka was innocent! My major reasons for this are:

1. His MV is the most abstract right now - it’s unclear exactly what happened, so any judgement based on his crime is going to be difficult. 2. For Haruka to open up more, I think he needs to be reassured that he will not be abandoned. I think that Haruka’s second MV will give us more details, because we have reassured him that he will not be abandoned.

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long thing! I hope to write these for all of the prisoners, and eventually catch up to where we currently are with the voting! If you enjoyed my analysis, please consider sharing so it can reach a wider audience!

#milgram #haruka sakurai #sakurai haruka #deco 27 #deco27 #analysis #mine

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revengerevisited · 3 years ago

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So I’ve been kinda dancing around my original story idea for a little while, and I got this idea in my head of ‘what if I release chapter 1 and then get feedback without telling anyone what the story is about first so it’s more of a surprise?’ But honestly? I’m realizing since I already released a preview-of-a-preview for chapter 1, and it might be a little while until I finish chapter 1, plus I honestly kinda feel like I’d rather work on sketches of my character designs than write at the moment, I might as well go ahead and tell you guys. X’3

So! I watched a couple anime recently both centered around the premise of... monster girls! These being Monster Musume and Monster Girl Doctor, but then I noticed there’s also Interviews with Monster Girls, A Centaur’s Life, and the infamous Interspecies Reviewers, and I asked myself... Monster girls are pretty popular right now, yeah? But where’s all the monster boys?! And that’s how I got the idea! I re-watched some of my favorite anime based on Otome Games, Kamigami no Asobi and Uta no Prince Sama for inspiration as well, and a few ones I hadn’t seen before like Dance with Devils and Magic-kyun Renaissance for inspiration as well.

So now I’ve got my premise that I shared earlier: This is the story of Millie, a young woman down on her luck who happens to live in a world where monsters aren’t just real, but commonplace. She started working as a maid in a mansion-turned-art-school whose students are a group of very attractive monster boys. The twist is that these aren’t just any monster boys; they belong to various rare and exotic species with deadly reputations...

Note that character and place names are technically place-holders for now and may change if I come up with better ones. Now, I don’t wanna spoil anything story-wise, but I think I can introduce my setting and some of the characters that you’re gonna meet. The story is set in a modern setting, though it’s vague if it’s actually Earth or just some generic world similar to it, as I try to avoid referencing real-world places or events. This is a world where humans and monsters live together after a Great Interspecies War happened in the past, but tensions have mostly relaxed by the time the story takes place. The war could be thought of as the equivalent of our own World War One, one in which there was a truce decided after many years of stalemate fighting.

The city everything takes place in is tentatively named Dullahan, and was built directly after the war to commemorate peace between human and monster kind. It’s considered an artistic cultural center, and it’s got a lot of interesting entertainment places to go to, arcades, theaters, aquariums, etc, that the characters can have a lot of different shenanigans in. The other main setting is the Beaufort Academy of the Arts, which was actually a mansion that was converted into a small private school. This is where all the characters live, and our main character Millie works as a maid there.

Before I go into the characters, I should start with the various monster species. There are 12 species, divided into 2 groups: common monsters and exotic monsters. The common monsters are centaurs, harpies, lamias (snake people), kobolds (dog people), ogres, and merrows (mermaids). These species are all pretty standard, and will be mostly background characters and npcs. The main characters, and love interests for Millie, will be of the exotic variety: arachnes (spider people), sirens (deep-sea mermaids), mandrakes (plant people), dragons, manticores (with a liontaur body-type), and scyllas (octopus people).

So what differentiates a common monster from an exotic one? Well, while the Interspecies War was between humans and monsters in general, some monsters were already at least partially integrated into human society, and the rest followed soon after the war ended. These monsters were almost as common as humans, and either herbivorous or omnivorous, with the exception of the carnivorous lamias who prefer to eat eggs over anything else. On the other hand, the so-called ‘exotic’ species were not only much more rare, but they had a very different food preference... one which earned them the now derogatory nickname... man-eaters.

Naturally, most ‘man-eaters’ weren’t exactly welcomed into human --nor common monster-- society with open arms, not that most of them wanted to. For the most part, species as powerful and dangerous as them didn’t want to play nice with those they had once --and in some cases still do-- regard as prey, and so hid away into the furthest reaches of the world. Which of course makes them perfect material for all our leading men and Millie’s various love-interests!! Oh yes, while all of these monster boys are perfectly civilized --well, for the most part-- they still belong to species that many both human and monster alike continue to fear to this day. While they aren’t exactly fish out of water (well, except for the siren) there’s still plenty of awkward misunderstandings and interesting scenarios that can be played out.

So! Let’s have a quick run-down of the characters, keep in mind that none of these names are final and could change later on. First there’s Millie, a hardworking young woman who’s had a recent streak of bad luck. Through a misunderstanding she gets hired as a maid in a mansion-turned-art-school. She’s very sweet and tries her best to help others, but she’s not as innocent as she appears; she’ll understand your innuendos just fine, even if she doesn’t really say any herself! Next is Richard and Lara Beaufort, a husband and wife who run the school. Richard is rather laid-back, yet he’s also a master of all kinds of art, painting, sculpture, photography, dancing, singing, you name it! Lara is his arachne wife, a rather boisterous woman who owns a high-class fashion company. The secret to her clothing’s success?? Arachne silk, of course! The school was her idea, a way to help better integrate exotic species into society. Will her mission succeed? Only time can tell.

Richard and Lara have a son named Simon, our first love interest and a human-arachne hybrid who takes almost entirely after his mother in the looks-department (hybrids tend to look like one species or the other, rather than a mix of both). He’s a bit withdrawn due to dealing with bullying as a kid; most people --human and monster alike-- are afraid of his spider-like appearance, so he doesn’t get out much-- to the point his parents worry about him being a shut-in for life! He’s also a gamer boy, and has a secret soft side for gothic poetry, although he doesn’t want to join his parents’ art classes. He actually disapproves of his mother’s exotic species integration plan, as from what he’s experienced he feels it’s a waste of time.

Simon’s best friend and Millie’s second love interest is Louis, a mandrake who lives in the woods behind the manor. Louis is extremely shy and more than a bit lonely, even more so than Simon, and he doesn’t speak very often out of fear that the sound of his voice will hurt others around him. Mandrake screams can induce insanity or even kill those that hear them, hence his fear. Being part plant, Louis has mild shape-shifting abilities and is able to transform between child and young adult forms at will, although he’s actually the oldest of the group. He also isn’t a student at the art school, although he has an interest in floristry.

Now for our actual students! Forrest is a manticore, which in this world means he has a body similar to that of a centaur, but with the lower half of a lion instead of a horse, and a scorpion-like tail tipped with a deadly venomous stinger. Despite his species’s name literally meaning ‘man-eater’, Forrest is extremely friendly and cheerful, and is very sporty too. His passion is photography, and he also loves eating food-- any sort of meat dish is fine by him! He’s also a fan of fantasy tabletop roleplaying games, and will often make references comparing them to everyday life; he always plays the knight who saves the princess!

Anthony is a childhood ‘friend’ of Forrest’s, though he’s loathe to admit it. Highly intelligent and highly snobbish, Anthony fancies himself an intellectual-- and he’s not exactly wrong. Being a dragon, he likes to hoard things-- in his case, knowledge. Anthony loves to read, and is most often found in the library. His skill is in drawing and painting, and all his paintings’ invariably morose subject matter worry Millie. Still, this haughty dragon could definitely learn to loosen up a little, and be a little more kind; perhaps his stay at the academy --and his interactions with Millie-- will open his mind to appreciating the feelings of others. He does, at the very least, greatly respect Master Beaufort as a master of the arts.

The other two students are denizens of the sea, and have been friends for a very long time. Emil is a scylla, and like all scyllas he’s a little eccentric, and just can’t seem to keep his tentacles to himself! While Forrest is obsessed with eating, Emil’s true calling is cooking, and he loves making all kinds of dishes, especially anything seafood and/or foreign. Emil also is highly appreciative of women’s fashion, and absolutely adores everything to come from Madam Beaufort’s clothing brand-- so much so that he actually wears them himself! His pretty-boy looks and penchant for wearing women’s clothing actually has Millie mistake him for a girl at first, though he’s very much unafraid to show her his romantic side, or at least what he interprets as romantic...

Keeping Emil’s pervy antics in check is our sixth and final monster boy, Oswald! As a siren, Oswald spent most of his life in the sea, and still has a lot to learn about humanity. He’s a pretty cool guy but gets a bit embarrassed about his species’s troublesome past as the cause of many shipwrecks at sea, and would prefer to not discuss it. His passion is rock music, and his main instrument is the guitar. He also loves to sing, but refrains from doing so due to the hypnotic effect it has on other species. His lack of legs, tentacles, or a snake-like tail means that like other merrows and sirens he requires a wheelchair to move around on land, and often feels frustrated that he can’t show off how adept he is at traversing water. He’s also easy to embarrass and obsessed with not allowing anything to ‘ruin’ his manly image, including allowing Millie (a girl!) to help carry him around.

So there you have it, all my monster boys! I left out a few things, as those would be major spoilers, but those are my ideas for the characters for now! I’ll try to draw and post some sketches of their designs later. Hopefully I haven’t forgotten anything, but this won’t be the last time I talk about monster boys. Any questions or comments would be very much appreciated! Nsfw questions are allowed (all the boys wear pants for a reason, after all), though I’m currently not sure if this series will be 16+ or 18+, if you catch my meaning. Lemme know how interested you are in this story, or if you’re not interested please let me know that too!

#writing #monster boys #maddie's monster boys #if you ever wanted to see a merman wear pants... here's your chance XD

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wickedbarnes · 5 years ago

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m o n s t e r.

pairing: ransom drysdale x reader

prompt: ransom absolutely hates being rejected. he loathes it, it wounds his ego. so when he finds out that you weren't interested in him, the sheer determination of having you slowly turned into an unhealthy obsession.

trigger warnings: smut. non-con. dubcon. drugging. blackmailing. dark!ransom. do NOT read if any of these make you uncomfortable. 18+ readers ONLY.

note: i'm sorry if the smut may not be that good. i promise i'm trying to improve my smut writing skills :(

Ransom was the type of man who always gets what he wants one way or another. He wasn't the type to back down from a challenge nor was he the type to lose. He always makes sure he wins at the end. For him, nothing tasted so sweet than to have things go his way. He was that type of man and he was proud to admit that.

If he wanted a new car, he'd get it. If he wanted to party on the other side of the goddamn world, he'd book a ticket in a blink of an eye. If he wanted to fuck a girl or two, he'd get them on his knees in an instant. Ransom was a man who had everything. Power, wealth, good looks, you name it.

Being a Thrombey had its perks after all despite how much he dislikes his family.

But of course, there was this... unfortunate fact that not everything went his way. And he realized this the moment he laid eyes on the newest maid inside his grandfather, Harlan's mansion.

Y/N is what they called you. You were only working part-time as a means of earning money while you studied at college. It won't be long 'till you graduated so the student loans that you had needed to be paid and Harlan was generous and kind enough to pay you well.

Ransom took note of how full of life you were. Your eyes held some sort of innocence and purity in them. In fact, he'd be surprised if he ever found out you weren't a virgin. You seemed like the type that had never been properly touched by a man before. Either that, or you just hid that secret so well.

You greeted everyone kindly with a smile on your face and Ransom was sure everyone would be doting on you in no time. But when your doe eyes had fell on him, he saw the hesitation in them. But you quickly masked it with a faint smile, not quite as bright as the one that you gave to the others.

"Welcome back, Hugh." You'd say. And dare say, Ransom was impressed that you already knew he preferred that he was called Hugh by the helpers.

And you did. The first time you were hired, Marta and Fran were kind enough to show you around and taught you how things worked around here, even showed you how to properly serve Harlan's family members. However, it was Marta who told you about Hugh. You could remember her telling you to strictly steer clear from him and that whatever you did, you will only refer to him as Hugh.

And you, being the obedient employee that you are, you weren't planning on causing trouble and made sure to make mental notes of what she said.

So far, you were doing great. You were confused however, as to why she'd tell you to avoid him but when you saw how he treated his family members and the helpers that served him, you instantly understood why you needed to do so.

An asshole.

That's what Ransom Drysdale was.

Days passed during their visit to the mansion, you found yourself trying to stop yourself from giving Ransom a piece of your mind. You just couldn't handle rude people. They never settled well with you. And as quiet and bashful as you were most of the time, you had quite the mouth on you when someone deserves to be taught a lesson.

But by extension, Ransom was kind of your employer. If you upset him, there was no way in hell he wouldn't tell his grandfather. And you didn't want to disappoint Harlan now that he had done so much for you.

So instead, you kept your mouth shut and just continued to do your job.

But your reactions didn't go unnoticed by the cold-hearted playboy. He knew you disliked him. And in a way, he found it amusing. It wasn't the first time he heard of people not being quite fond of him. Most of the time, he didn't care. But with you, it somehow makes him chuckle.

In all honesty, he found you adorable trying to suppress what you wanted to say to him whenever he talked shit to his family or to Fran or Marta. He saw how you'd scowl and walk away from the scene just so you wouldn't burst and make you put him in his place if that's even possible. As if he'd let anyone dominate him.

It started out small, really. He had woken up early and found you wiping the windows clean. You wiped the sweat that was forming on your forehead as Ransom went downstairs, making his presence known. You turned around and saw him smiling softly at you.

"Good morning, Y/N." He greeted you and to say you weren't quite taken aback would be a lie. But you weren't rude like Ransom and he knows that. So instead of ignoring him, you forced a smile back and slowly brushed passed him to make your way to the laundry room. But not before you greeted him back.

"Good morning, Hugh." You'd say. And just like that, you were out of his grasp.

After that exchange, you'd find Ransom out in the garden with you as you watered the plants, in the kitchen where you'd help prepare food, in the laundry room where you tried to clean everyone's dirty clothes. He was there, trying to start up a conversation with you. But all of which you gave such limited answers to.

You didn't want to indulge him of trying to get to know you. You knew better than to let your guard down with men like Ransom. He was the kind of man that your mother had warned about. And you knew better than to be fooled by him.

Your headstrong personality despite your shyness and innocence showed through whenever you'd politely tell Ransom to leave you be. And that surprised him a lot.

Because no one had been able to tell him to leave them alone. When it came to women, they would lunge themselves and kneel down at Ransom's feet, worshipping him as if he were God in the flesh. They would do all that just to get a taste of the infamous Thrombey Golden Boy. But you, you had asked him to leave you be.

"I'm working, Hugh. And I would gladly appreciate it if you don't distract me. I'd like to finish early I still have homework to finish." You'd say as you busied yourself by cleaning one of the guest rooms that was bigger than your apartment itself.

Ransom stood there silently and you worried for a moment as to why he hadn't said anything. Turning around to look at him, you saw him frozen on his spot but soon enough, he nodded his head briskly and left you in the room without a word.

But if he was being honest, what you said had offended him so much. That was the closest thing to "No" that he had ever received from a woman. And it drove him fucking crazy.

Oh but no, he wasn't going to give up. You were just playing hard to get that's all. Women love a good chase. And you were simply not going through your senses. Ransom was confident that soon enough, you'd realize just how lucky you are that he was even bothering on paying attention and pouring his time on a maid like you.

He could have any girl he wanted. Models, cheerleaders, business women, fucking porn stars and yet he was focusing on you. Sometimes Ransom forgets why he was even wasting his time but then he remembers that he doesn't take no for an answer.

You were beautiful, he admits that. You weren't a model nor were you an actress but you were beautiful nonetheless. Ransom was sure that you could turn heads whenever you walk in public. That was one of the reason why he seemed so hooked up on you.

But another was that you were unlike any woman he has met before. You were innocent but you weren't an idiot. He could see fire in your eyes and he sensed that you were the kind of woman that would easily carry herself. You didn't need a man by your side to help you. In fact, you didn't even need a man to make you happy.

And that kind of a whole new thing to Ransom. You were like the fresh apple in the forbidden tree. So ripe for the taking You were like a breath of fresh air to him. All the other women he had been with, they all seemed to want to depend on him. They all seemed as if they couldn't even stand on their own two feet.

But that wasn't you.

And Ransom realized you weren't playing hard to get. The real problem was that you weren't interested in him at all. It took him days to realize that. Days of silently persuading you to at least pay attention to him. Days of silently hoping you would fall into his trap just like all those girls he trapped back then. But no, it didn't work on you.

No matter how much he pretended to be nice, no matter how much he had tried to make a conversation with you, even trying to mellow down his attitude towards his family and the helpers, he just didn't stand a chance.

And that. Drove. Him. Insane.

Ransom couldn't have this, no. He had to have you. It wasn't something he wanted to do. It was something he needed to do. It was as if having you was something that his life depended on it. He needed to take you. Stake his claim and make you his. He had never wanted to claim someone so much as he did with you. You had that effect on him now.

All because you refused to let him have you.

The more you refused, the more he craved you. The more he got addicted. The more he got obsessed at the thought of finally having you writhing underneath him.

But that was just that, a thought. An imagination for him. A sick dream of his that made him wake up with a raging boner that pushed him to stroke his own throbbing member but not before he moans out your name from his lips.

That was, until it finally turned into reality.

The Thrombeys had thrown a little get together and almost all of them got drunk. Thankfully, you didn't have class tomorrow so you didn't mind staying in so late. You can just call a cab or stay in the maid quarters until you can go home. It was also your day off the next day anyways.

The wealthy family had finally retrieved to their respective rooms leaving you to clean up all the empty glasses and liquor bottles that were strewn all over the table. The Thrombeys really do get roudy when they're drunk.

Fran had to tend to Harlan because of Marta's absence. According to her, she had important matters to attend to and that left you with the duty and washing these glasses and putting them away.

You were finally finished with the task when you turned around and jumped when you saw Ransom leaning in against the doorway with a faint smile on his face.

"Jesus, Hugh, you scared me." You'd say, putting your hand over your chest making him chuckle as you walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room where you began to tidy up the table again.

"I told you, you can call me Ransom." He replied but you just sighed in response, refusing to call him that, not wanting to give him what he wants no matter how small.

"You should be in bed." You said already knowing he'd notice the change in the subject.

"So should you but here you are cleaning." Ransom walked over to you and placed a glass of champagne in front of you while another was in his hand.

"What's this?"

"Champagne." He answered as if you didn't know what was in front of you.

"I know but why are you giving it to me?"

Ransom let out a breath and traced the rim of the glass with his calloused fingers.

"You'd been working nonstop today, I thought you should treat yourself somehow."

You sighed, "Hugh, I can't take this. I can't drink while I'm working. Plus, it'd be inappropriate of me to drink with my employer's grandson."

"Oh, come on, Y/N. It's just one glass, it won't hurt. My grandfather even offered you some earlier. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you drank one right now." He picked up the glass and pushed yours into your hands so you had no choice but to grab it or else, the glass would break and the drink would spill.

"Come on, just one drink. I promise it won't be that bad. And then I'll leave you alone to rest." Ransom smiled down at you and your gaze averted back and forth to him and the glass of champage in your hands.

Maybe one drink wouldn't hurt, right?

"Ugh, fine. Just one though, that's it." You replied, finally giving in and Ransom had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to keep himself from smiling too wide from what he heard.

He raised his glass to you with a smirk on his face, "To working hard and paying student loans."

You rolled your eyes at him but grinned at his words before you clinked your glass with his.

"To working hard and paying student loans." You said before you took a big chug of your drink, finishing it in one go and you had completely missed the way Ransom had looked down at you with a devilish look in his eyes as he drank his champagne the same time as you did.

You placed down your glass on the table and quietly thanked him for the drink. You walked passed him but Ransom stayed at his spot and finished his champagne and as if he timed it perfectly, he heard a thud on a floor that caused him to smirk in a sinister way.

The drug worked fast just like he knew it would. Usually it would take time but he didn't have the patience for that so he doubled the dosage. Ransom grabbed both your empty glasses and washed it neatly before he put it in the dishwasher.

He didn't want to leave any trace of evidence after all. But it wasn't like you were gonna tell anybody anyway.

Ransom came back to the dining room and gently picked you up in his big arms bridal style, making you look like a damsel in distress who just got rescued by a knight in shining armor. Except, it wasn't like that at all.

He quietly made his way upstairs, looking down at your face every once in a while. Grinning at how adorable you looked while you were unconscious in his arms.

Soon enough, Ransom had successfully walked into his room and placed you down on the bed gently. He walked by the door once again and made sure it was locked before he made his way to your sleeping figure once again and took his time to just admire your features.

He stroked your cheek gently as he took his time to appreciate your gorgeous body that was still clad in your clothing. And Ransom wanted nothing more than to rip everything off of you but he knew he had to wait until you woke up.

So instead, he pulled away and took his time by taking a bath.

Meanwhile, your eyelids were starting to flutter open, your body felt heavy and you couldn't even bring to at least move your fingers. God, what happened?

When your vision finally adjusted, you realized that you weren't in your apartment nor were you in the maid quarters. Where were you? Did you pass out? How'd you pass out?

But then you remembered. You were cleaning the dining room when Ransom came in and offered you champagne. And then you finally agreed to take a sip. After that, you passed out. Realization hit you like a truck and you willed yourself to at least sit up. It took some time and your body felt like jello as you did. As if every limb was asleep.

It was then that you realized that you were in Ransom's room. Why'd he take you here? Did he help you when you passed out? Why did you even pass out in the first place? Was it because you were exhausted? Or was it-

"Oh, you're awake." Ransom's voice caught your attention and you turned to see him walking out of the bathroom, his chest damp from taking a bath as droplets of water trickled down to his torso. He was only wearing a towel around his hips to at least hide his modesty.

You weren't blind to the fact that Ransom was indeed a handsome man. But looks didn't matter to you if the person was a complete dick. So you groaned and looked away, rubbing your temple as your head pounded quite a bit.

Ransom didn't like your reaction at all. Usually, women would gasp or at least their jaw would drop upon seeing him half naked in front of them. But you, you looked away. You didn't even blush. Nor did you at least stare at him.

Did you not find him attractive at all? No, that's not it. Maybe you were just distracted by the drug he induced inside your drink. You were just waking up from it after all.

"What happened, Hugh? How'd I pass out? I don't remember having a drink too many." You'd ask and carefully placed your legs down onto the floor as you now sat on the edge of the bed, not quite noticing how your skirt had risen up to the middle of your thighs.

"You didn't, yeah. Thankfully my dosage was right to just knock you out and not send you into a coma." He answered nonchalantly and your head shot up as you looked at him confused.

"Dosage? W-What are you talking about?"

Ransom rolled his eyes and slowly made his way over to you and you found yourself scooting further away from him while gripping onto the blanket right next to you.

You never noticed just how big he was compared to you. Not until now when he looked as if he was stalking his prey and he was the predator.

"You're really pretty, Y/N, you know that, right?" Ransom stood in front of you, his crotch leveling with your face but you were somehow thankful that he put his finger underneath your chin and tilted your head up to look at him.

"What are you doing, Hugh?" You asked him, your voice shaking quite a bit now as fear began to course through your veins. You knew Ransom had his moments and he had them a lot. But never did you realize he would get so... so aggressive. You were scared to say the least. Because then you never realized just how dangerous Ransom Drysdale could be until now.

"What am I doing? Oh, baby, I think I should be asking you that. You know, all this wouldn't have happened if you just spared a glance at me, you know? You walk around here looking all innocent with your head held high as if you didn't want my head in between those precious thighs of yours."

Your eyes widened, "W-What? What're you- Hugh, that's ridi-"

"Call me Ransom." He said, cutting you off as he gripped your jaw with his large hands, "God, do you even realize how much I fucking hate it when you call me Hugh?"

"But didn't you prefer the help calling you that?" You backfired but your voice seemed so weak. You wanted so bad to break away from him but you were afraid of what might happen if you did.

Was he armed? Would he hurt you? Would he... no, Ransom wouldn't do that, would he?

Would he?

"I do. But I can't let my best girl call me Hugh it... it really gets on my nerves, Y/N. Sometimes I think you're doing it on purpose. Just like how you haven't given into me all this time that I've been here. Tell me, were you playing hard to get? Is that what this is, you love the game of cat and mouse? You love the chase, hm?"

You were so confused. Why was he so round up? Why did he seem so angry? And what the hell did he mean by playing hard to get? Your thoughts were cut short when Ransom held your face harshly in his hands, looking down at you with dark eyes instead of his usual azure colored orbs.

This was a completely different Ransom. Hell, was this the real Ransom all along? Predatory and dangerous?

"I'm fucking asking you a question here, baby, I expect a fucking answer from you." His voice was deep, husky and it only sent shivers down your spine because of how scared you were right now.

"I don't understand what's going on, Hugh." You whimpered as your hands slightly began to shake on your lap, "I don't know why I'm here or what you mean by playing hard to get, I'm not playing hard to get, I'm not playing any games with you I was just doing my job."

Tears began to cascade down your cheeks and Ransom's face softened a bit. But he was shocked when he felt as if he was guilty for making you cry. He had made many women cry but he never felt any ounce of guilt before. Why'd he feel it when it comes to you?

Ransom shushed and cooed at you as he gently wiped your tears away with his thumb.

"Don't cry, doll. Well, as much as you look pretty when you cry, I'd prefer it if you didn't." He smiled before he crouched down in front of you.

"I just don't understand, Y/N. I did everything I could. I tried to act nice, I tried to help you around with your chores even if you'd tell me countless of times that you didn't need my help, I even convinced my grandfather to give you a raise because of how hardworking you are. Why did you think you were getting paid more than the other helpers around here, huh? I did all that and all you do to repay me was to pull away? That's quite rude, baby." He tutted and began to trace random patterns onto your thighs which made jump and push his hand away.

"See now, that's what I was fucking talking about. You always push me away. No matter what I do, no matter what tricks I have up my sleeve, you break away and dare I say I'm starting to lose my patience here."

He sighed and put his hand back on your thigh and you let out a sob as you couldn't push him away now. Your body still felt like jello you could hardly move your limbs properly. And you knew that if you break away, Hugh would catch you, it would be useless.

"I did all that I could to lure you in, to let you fall into my charms and let me have you but no, I guess all of that didn't work. Do you realize just how many women would kill to be in your place, hm? How they'd pay you millions of money just so they could replace you? And yet here you are, being so ungrateful. But I commend you, Y/N. You're the first woman to ever reject my advances. And as much as I fucking hated it, I'm impressed."

You brows furrowed as you finally put two in two together. That was all it was? All of this because you had wounded his large fucking ego? The fear on your face was replaced with anger and the fact that Ransom was looking at you amusingly didn't help at all.

"That was all this, Hugh? All of this, all the drugging that you did to me, all those pretentious acts that you pulled was all just because you could get me to sleep with you? All because you can't take no for answer? How fucking desperate and idiotic can you be?" You spat but it all happened so fast when Ransom suddenly slapped you across the face causing your head to whip up to the side.

His eyes widened as you turned back to look at him, your cheek now sporting a red mark. You were shocked. But you quickly gathered your composure and uttered words that caused Ransom to see nothing but red.

"I'd return the slap if I even took you as a man, Ransom." Ransom. You finally uttered Ransom from your lips. He should be happy you finally called him that. But his name accompanied by those words made something in him snap.

Ransom pushed you down on the bed and placed himself in between your thighs as his hand wrapped around your throat but not enough to choke you just tight enough to instill fear back in your body. Your skirt hiked up and Ransom smirked at the sight of your white cotton panties fully in display for him now.

Even your undergarments were as innocent as you.

"I've had enough, Y/N. You really pushed my limits now. Didn't your mother taught you how to respect your superiors, hm?" His hands rubbed your thigh up and down and before you could even reply, he quickly yanked down your skirt causing you to shriek but Ransom quickly silenced you as he put his large hand over your mouth.

"You should know better than to fight, doll. Make this easier for the both of us, will you? You have no idea how much I fucking hate it when someone tells me no. Especially when it's coming from you." Ransom brushed his fingers against your core causing you to jump a bit and squirm in his arms but held you firmly in place causing you to still down on the bed.

You eyes widened as you felt Ransom pushing your panties to the side before you felt his finger sliding up and down against your folds. Although you had masturbated quite a number of times, you were a virgin. You were untouched and made a promise to yourself to give your virginity to a man that loves you just as much as you loved him. Who deserves to have every part of you.

But instead, it was going to be forcefully taken away from you by Ransom. The grandson of your employer. The Thrombey Golden Boy. The devil in the flesh.

Your eyes were wide and filled with fear and Ransom liked that. He liked how powerless you were compared to him. He liked having the control he has on you now.

Slowly, he took his hand off your mouth but not before he gave you a warning.

"If you ever scream for help or even wake anybody up inside this goddamn mansion, I'll be sure to ruin your life and we don't want that, do we?" You instinctively shake your head no and Ransom seemed satisfied by your response.

"And if you ever tell anyone about this, I'll find out. And when I do, you'll be unemployed in the blink of an eye. Your degree gone in a snap. In case you didn't know, we Drysdales are stakeholders at your school. I can easily demand to get you expelled. And if you make me unhappy, I'll even fabricate a story about you. That's not something you want to happen, right?"

You couldn't believe it. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. And it doesn't seem so real. How could Ransom be so cruel? Did the vanity that was coursing through his veins finally fucked his head up? Or was he always like this? Always craved for power and control?

Your questions remained unanswered while you managed to give Ransom another meekly nod causing him to smirk.

"Good girl. See, you're learning. And good girls deserve a reward." You felt his fingers rubbing circles on your clit. You gasped and shook your head as if you silently told your body not to give into the pleasure he was forcing on you.

Your slit began to get slippery and Ransom cooed at how embarrassed you seem when you started to get his fingers all soaking wet.

"No need to be embarrassed, baby, it's just me. I'll take care of you." Tears streamed down your face causing your cheeks to get all blotchy but even then, Ransom still wouldn't budge. In fact, he found you beautiful when you cried. It made you look more innocent and pure. As if you needed to be dependent on him.

"You're getting so wet, sweetheart. You don't mind if I slip a finger in, do you?" Ransom didn't even give you anytime to answer before he slipped a finger inside your tight hole. You hated how a soft moan had escaped your mouth when he pushed it in.

"Oh, that's it, Y/N. Those are the noises I want to hear from you." Ransom pumped his finger in and out of your pussy and your cheeks heat up when you heard the sound of your own slick pussy. No, no, it shouldn't feel this good.

Your mind and body were at war. Your brain was screaming at you to push him away and scream for help but your body writhing against his hand as if you were begging him for more even if that wasn't the case.

Ransom looked at his glistening hand that was soaked with your juices and it only made his cock throb against the towel that was wrapped around his waist. Pulling his fingers away, you thought it was over until he ripped your panties off of you along with your blouse leaving you in nothing but your white laced bra.

You watched as Ransom licked his lips hungrily at you and it seemed as if the bra that was covering your breasts bothered him. So much so that he roughly pulled the straps down and reached behind you to unhook them with ease letting your tits be exposed to him.

You lifted your arms up to cover your chest while you pressed your thighs together but Ransom growled disapprovingly. He forced your legs open again and pinned your arms above your head with his hand as he stared down at you with his lust clouded eyes.

"Are you going to fucking behave or do you want to do this the hard way?" He spat and you felt so small as a quiet sob emitted from your lips while you stayed still.

"Good girl." Ransom whispered as he pressed a kiss onto your lips before pulling away.

"I think it's time I have a taste of you, baby. I hope you're as sweet as you look." Ransom spread your legs open and positioned his face in between your thighs. The towel that was wrapped around his waist had finally let loose and fell onto the wooden floor, letting his cock spring free.

Ransom gently blew on your pussy causing you to flinch. You lifted your head and shook your head at him.

"P-Please, Ransom... let me go, I won't tell anyone I just- Ransom!" You gasped when you felt his tongue laying flat on your cunt before he glided it across your clit. You propped yourself on your elbows and shook your head vigorously at him but Ransom held your legs in place, keeping them apart with his strong hands.

"Yeah, fucking watch me eat your pussy, baby." Ransom would say before he started to lap up your juices and even going as far as to tease your hole with his tongue by pushing it in and out of you before he paid attention to your throbbing clit.

You should've looked away. Looked somewhere else rather than the man that was in between your legs, tongue shoved up your pussy. But you can't. He looked so erotic while he sucked on your sensitive little bud. Is this how it feels to get eaten out by a man?

"Don't fight it, baby, just give in." Ransom would tell you as his fingers slid up and down your wet folds, getting them all lubed up before he pushed it up inside your pussy.

A whorish moan escaped your lips and you quickly put your hand up against your mouth to at least muffle the noises you weren't supposed to be making.

You hated this so much. You hated it because you were giving in. You hated it because it felt so damn good. You hated it because you found yourself wanting more.

You didn't plan on it but it was as if your body has gone on autopilot when you hips began to grind up against Ransom's mouth and fingers. Your hands finding its way to tangle themselves onto Ransom's hair.

Sinful moans escaped your mouth and Ransom moaned against your pussy as it was music to his ears. You tasted so sweet on his tongue and it only drove him crazier than he already was for you.

His personal little peach.

Ransom picked up the pace and curled his fingers up to hit your g-spot repeatedly while he was to busy sucking and licking on your clit. It was too much, it felt too good. Your eyes rolled at the back of your head as you felt the familiar pleasure boiling up in the pit of your stomach.

You were close.

"Fuck, baby, I can feel you getting close." Ransom moaned against your soaking wet pussy. You were sure his chin was glistening with your juices.

"No, no, no..." You chanted and shook your head as if you remembered that you weren't supposed to like this at all.

"Yes, yes, come on, baby. I know you wanna cum for me. Do it. Fucking do it." Ransom encouraged you and fingerfucked you harder as he pulled away, his thumb now rubbing circles on your clit in a fast pace.

He wanted to see you come undone for him.

"Do it, Peaches, do it. Be a good girl and cum for me." He ordered you and you were far too gone to tell yourself no.

"R-Ransom!" You turned your head to the side and bit down on the pillow that was right next to you to muffle your screams. You body convulsed underneath Ransom's as you came hard on his fingers. Your legs shook as avalanche of tears streamed down your face due to shame and the pleasure you felt.

Ransom was speechless. It was as if you were being possessed by a demon. You were shaking underneath him, moaning his name as if it was a prayer you had memorized. No one had came this hard for him. No one had been so wet for him before. It was you. It was all you.

He pulled his fingers away and as much as he wanted to lick it clean, he wanted to see how you'd look while you were sucking on something.

You fluttered your eyes open and looked up at Ransom when you felt his weight on your body. He held his soaking fingers against your lips with one demand for you.

"Suck." And even you didn't want to, you found yourself doing what you were told. You wrapped your lips around his fingers and sucked your juices clean off his fingers.

You knew you should've looked away. You knew you should've pulled away but instead, you looked deep into his eyes and swirled your tongue around his fingers, giving him a sneak peek on what you'd look like if you were to suck his cock.

Ransom was taken by surprise. You're naturally a tease. But as much as he wanted to let you suck on his cock, he knew he didn't have the patience for that yet. Instead, he positioned himself on the bed and threw your leg over his shoulder. Your eyes widened as you shook your head began to move away from him but Ransom only pulled back to where you were by your ankles.

"Don't misbehave now, Y/N, you were doing so good." His voice was dark, indicating how he disliked that you pulled away.

"Ransom, you don't understand, I'm inexperienced. Very different from the girls you've fucked, I... Please, let me go, you already made me cum." You pleaded but you could tell on Ransom's face that he wasn't having it.

"Please, Ransom... I'm a virgin, I-"

"You're a what?" Ransom asked, completely cutting you off.

"I'm a virgin." You repeated yourself, confident that Ransom would change his mind about all this once he finds out that you had no experience with sex.

But your confidence went as quickly as it came.

Ransom's face lit up as he leaned down to capture your lips in his, kissing you passionately. You wanted to pull away but he held your face in place as if he sensed you'd be doing exactly that.

Pulling away, Ransom smirked at you.

"How much more innocent can you be?" And with that, he threw your leg over his shoulder and began to line his cock up against your entrance after he slid it up and down to use your juices as lube.

"Ransom, no, it's not gonna fit- Ahh!" You shrieked and closed your eyes shut as the stinging pain shot throughout your body. You whimpered as Ransom cooed at you while he gently pushed his thick length inside your virgin hole.

He was stretching you out so much it felt endless. You let out a helpless sob when he finally bottomed out, his cock now fully deep inside of you. Ransom cupped your face and peppered kisses on your cheek and lips as if that would help diminish the pain you're in.

"You're so tight, Peaches, you fucking know that?" He groaned and stayed still as if any movement would cause him to spill his cum inside you.

"Ransom, please, I don't want this..." You pleaded yet again but Ransom's eyes darkened as he smirked down at you.

"You will." And with that, he began to thrust back and forth into you, his cock pumping in and out of your tight cunt. You gasped and expected there would be pain but there was none. Pleasure started to overtake your body once again and you realized you had finally adjusted to Ransom's length.

You shook your head, praying to whatever deity there was that existed to make this all stop. It shouldn't feel good, it shouldn't. But your body told you otherwise.

Ransom groaned and looked down to watch his cock go in and out of your cunt. The sight was mouthwatering. He remembered how he just dreamt about this but now it was real. And it was better than he imagined.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're gripping me like a vice. Ruining other bitches for me." He moaned and threw his head back, his mouth parted open as his brows furrowed.

Your breathing became uneven and you found yourself meeting Ransom's thrusts causing him to push deeper inside of you, making him hit your g-spot repeatedly. Sinful moans escaped your lips and you could no longer control what your body desperately needed.

By the look of how desperate you were to chase your own orgasm, Ransom was certain he has you now. He was certain that he had you wrapped around his finger. He was certain that you're all his.

"R-Ransom..."

"I know, baby, I know. Just a little longer, Peaches." He fastened his pace and licked his thumb before he rubbed your throbbing clit while he pounded your cunt. The action made you arch your back and your moans to get louder and you quickly put your hand over your mouth, not wanting to wake anyone up.

Either you didn't want to get caught and make Ransom stop or you just didn't want to face the consequences that he gave you if you got too noisy and alarmed everyone in the house.

"R-Ransom, I'm close, I'm-"

"Me too, baby, fuck! Oh God, I'm gonna fill your pussy up." He groaned and with one final thrust, he shoved his cock so deep up your pussy that you couldn't help but spasm around him once again, biting his shoulder as you screamed out in pleasure as you came hard.

"Holy shit, Y/N..." Ransom moaned as he felt you milking his cock up completely. You felt him shoot load after load of his cum while you shook underneath him.

When Ransom slowly pulled away, you couldn't help but cry silently as a sob escaped your lips. He used you. He used you for his own pleasure and you let him. You let him. And there was nothing you could do.

Ransom looked at you with pity. He knew you were still confused. Soon enough, you were going to thank him for the things he's done to and for you. He gently placed your body on the other side of the bed before he lied down and placed the duvet over your bodies.

"You did so good, Y/N. I'm proud of you. See? I told you it'd be easy if you just gave in." He smiled fondly at you and gently wiped the tear that slipped down from your eyes.

"You had me. You used me like a piece of fucking meat. Now will you let me go?" Your question made Ransom laugh out loud. It was rare for women to make him and somehow, you did it. You were truly full of surprises.

"Let you go? Oh no, Peaches, I think you're mistaken." His smile turned into a menacing one as fear began to spark up inside your body once again as he traced your bare shoulders with your fingers.

"I've waited for this moment for a long time. This is the longest chase I've done. And now that I have you, I don't think I'll ever let you go. Plus, you're quite the fighter. You were quite the challenge and I like that. From here on out, you're mine, do you understand?" Ransom gently pulled the blanket off your body as the cool breeze of air hit your skin. His fingers traced your erect nipples before his hand squeezed your breasts a bit.

"You." He pulled the blanket off of him.

"Are." Ransom spread your legs again and placed himself in between them.

"Mine." He whispered against your neck before he pushed his hardening cock back inside you again.

A monster.

That's what Ransom Drysdale was.

#ransom thrombey #ransom drysdale #ransom x reader #ransom x you #ransom drysdale fic #knives out #chris evans #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader

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imagitory · 5 years ago

Text

HPHM Profile: Carewyn Cromwell

<<<updated: 12/6/2020 // original template by @hogwarts-misery >>>

“I can’t just live my life however I want! Maybe I want to — sometimes I want to — sometimes I want to so much that I think of just saying ‘forget the Cursed Vaults! Forget about R and their death threats and the fear and the not-knowing-what’s-coming!’ But...I can’t. As long as Jacob is out there — as long as I don’t know whether he’s alive or dead — whether he needs my help or not — how can I put myself first?! How can I justify chasing the Quidditch Cup, or joining the Dueling Club, or singing in the Frog Choir, when anything great I might do won’t mean a thing, without my brother there cheering me on whether I win or lose!? How can I fight for my dreams...while not knowing if Jacob will be able to share them with me? What sort of person would I be? What sort of disgusting — selfish — cowardly — terrible person would I be, if I abandoned him!? How could I face my mum again — face myself again — if I just threw my brother away?!”

[PROFILE]

NAME | Carewyn Lane Cromwell

NICKNAMES | Carey (by her friends, especially Bill, Charlie, and Tonks); Winnie (by her mother); Pip, Pippa (by Jacob); Cursebreaker (by Andre) [Note: In AUs, Jacob calls Carewyn “Wyn” instead of Pip, as “Pippa” is a reference to the Robert Browning poem “Pippa Passes,” which often doesn’t exist in other universes. XD]

GENDER | Female (cisgender)

SEXUAL / ROMANTIC ORIENTATION | Asexual / Panromantic

[PERSONALITY]

In some ways, Carewyn is an ideal heroine. A bright, compassionate girl, she often finds herself drawn to those less confident than her and feels the urge to protect and take care of them. Even when she was very little, she ended up “mothering” her older brother Jacob by encouraging him to eat and sleep more and offering advice, just as much as he often “fathered” her by inspiring her and shielding her from any perceived threats. But don’t mistake this young Cursebreaker for a saint -- Carewyn actually is an incredibly proud person who protects her fragile, sensitive heart with a hard shell of seemingly unbreakable confidence and cool insight. There is nothing she hates more than showing her insecurities and fears, and so she does her best to always look her best and put her best face forward no matter what, even around the people she cares about. This means that almost none of her many friends have any idea about the demons Carewyn is secretly fighting in her pursuit of the Cursed Vaults and her brother. Carewyn dresses the part for whatever situation she’s in, and she always feels most comfortable when she feels in control and believes she has the moral high ground -- admittedly her moral compass is pretty strong on its own, but she also buries any more selfish and meaner feelings she has as deep as she can, pushing herself to be the best, most moral person she can be, even if it’s difficult for her. She wants to be everything that everyone needs, and unfortunately that can result in Carewyn setting standards that are way too high for herself and secretly resenting and berating herself whenever she falls short, or worse not even participating in something she thinks she can’t put all of herself into or wouldn’t do well in. Her self-loathing is so strong that when something traumatic happens to her (such as Jacob’s disappearance or the death of Redacted), she can suffer from severe spells of depression where she neglects her own well-being and as a consequence forcibly removes herself from the people around her so as not to let others see her in such a terrible state. Because of her own high standards for herself, as well, Carewyn also can be judgmental of others, not being prone to change her mind about a person easily. When backed into a corner, Carewyn can freeze up, but when her own self-preservation or her loved ones are threatened, she can bite back really hard, though she’ll almost always regret losing control after the fact. Carewyn has a very organized mind and works best when she has a plan and knows where she’s going at any given time -- ambiguity and mystery are not this girl’s friends. This sadly can result in her being a real stick in the mud, which makes her an easy target for pranks and mischief. Fortunately, despite her overly serious attitude, Carewyn has a nice dry sense of humor and is a very passionate, driven person. In her fifth year, she was even made a Prefect largely due to her protective, nurturing instincts, though it’s good to note that that doesn’t make her a rule follower. Carewyn only respects rules and the people enforcing them if they have earned her respect and she sees the reasoning behind them. If there’s one thing Carewyn can’t stand, it’s condescension. Carewyn’s core interests are singing (her favorite wizard band is the Weird Sisters and her favorite Muggle band is the Eurythmics), Charms, magical history, and magical creatures.

[BIOGRAPHY]

DATE OF BIRTH | August 29, 1973 (Virgo)

BLOOD STATUS | Half-Blood

FAMILY INFO | Carewyn is the second child and only daughter of Evan Bach and Lane Cromwell. Carewyn’s mother Lane alienated her parents, younger brother, and older sisters -- a well-respected, but very overbearing magical family called the Cromwells -- upon moving to Wales and marrying Evan, who was a Muggle. Unfortunately Evan and Lane’s marriage took a turn for the worse after Jacob was born. Jacob’s magical abilities peeked through at an early age and were interpreted by Evan as deliberate misbehavior despite Lane’s best attempts to diffuse any tension. Nine years into their marriage, Evan and Lane were surprised by a late addition to the family -- their daughter, Carewyn. Rather than bringing Evan and Lane closer together, however, Carewyn’s arrival only seemed to drive Evan further away, as he already had had no instincts about how to be a father to Jacob and felt even less sure about how to raise a daughter. Deciding it was better to give up and just let Lane do what was best rather than mess up, Evan withdrew from Carewyn almost completely, leaving Lane and even his son Jacob to look after her. Fortunately Jacob, an nine-year-old boy at the time of Carewyn’s birth, adored his little sister immediately and went out of his way to coddle and protect her however he could. When Jacob turned 11 and received his Hogwarts letter, Lane was finally allowed by law to tell Evan about her magical heritage and the Wizarding World, but by that point, Evan and Lane’s marriage was so rocky that the revelation finally made it buckle and fall apart. Evan left his family that very night, leaving Lane heartbroken. Knowing her family would insist upon her returning to their estate in Yorkshire if she went to them for financial help, Lane instead charted out alone and raised her two children completely on her own while working as a magical historian and Runes expert. Although Lane, Jacob, and Carewyn lived in poverty for almost all of Jacob’s school career and Carewyn’s childhood, the Cromwells managed to dig their way out of debt a year before Jacob disappeared, now sitting on the perimeter of “lower-middle class.”

MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE | INFJ “The Advocate”

[MAGICAL ABILITIES]

WAND | Hornbeam and dragon heartstring, 11 inches, inflexible (broken by Rakepick) // Laurel and phoenix feather, 12 inches, unyielding (nicknamed her “Excalibur wand”)

BOGGART | Voldemort [Carewyn’s greatest fear is a threat she has no hope of overcoming, fighting, escaping, or controlling...which, yeah, is Voldemort in a nutshell!]

ANIMAGUS FORM (IF ANY) | Robin

PATRONUS | Abraxan Winged Horse

[AFFILIATION]

HOUSE | Slytherin

QUIDDITCH POSITION (IF ANY) | She prefers playing Chaser in Quidditch friendlies, but she’s been reluctant to commit to the Slytherin team due to her extreme focus on finding her brother and fear of letting Orion and the others down.

PREFECT? | Yup!

[ACADEMICS]

BEST CLASS(ES) | Charms, Care of Magical Creatures, History of Magic (thanks to her mum!)

WORST CLASS(ES) | Transfiguration, Divination

OWL SCORES |

Charms - O

Transfiguration - O

Potions - O

Herbology - O

History of Magic - O

Care of Magical Creatures - O

Defense Against the Dark Arts - O

[RELATIONSHIPS]

PARTNERS |

Andre — In the beginning, Carewyn was completely and totally dedicated romantically to Andre, having attended the Celestial Ball and gone on two dates with him. In the darkest part of her heart, though she was a bit afraid that she wouldn’t be “exciting” enough for Andre in the long term, given that he’s always been quite popular and outgoing and she’s only really gotten any esteem at Hogwarts for being a Cursebreaker, which she didn’t really ever want to be. Add onto this some tension brought on by the All-Wizard Tournament where Andre got so obsessed with winning that he took help from his girlfriend and then flat-out didn’t even consider helping her in return and Carewyn’s severe trust issues, and soon the two had a lot of trouble communicating properly. When times were good, they had a lot of fun together, but if they ever weren’t, the two just couldn’t seem to connect and fix it as a team. Not long after the All-Wizard Tournament, Carewyn finally told Andre she needed a break, and after a talk, they decided it was better to end their romantic relationship and try just being friends again. Despite the break-up, they both remain incredibly fond of each other and respect each other deeply.

Chiara — In the beginning of my game-playing journey, I had considered matching Carewyn with Chiara in the long-term. Ever since they first met, Carewyn has both identified with and greatly admired Chiara. Even if Chiara has had such a rough life, she remains ever gentle, kind, and forgiving -- everything, in essence, that Carewyn wants and tries to be -- all without seemingly even trying. She’s never expected anything from Carewyn, no matter how big her reputation as a Cursebreaker has grown, and is always supportive of her choices. She even wants to Heal others, even if her werewolf form is so hell-bent on destruction and harm. Chiara, meanwhile, identifies with and admires Carewyn just as much for her nurturing, sensitive heart, and thinks she’s one of the bravest people she knows. She understands Carewyn’s self-loathing from a first-hand perspective since she struggles with it herself, but she can’t understand it in the sense that she sees Carewyn as a truly wonderful, strong person who should be able to love herself just as much as she loves others. Carewyn frequently spends time with Chiara in her Animagus form during the full moon to keep her company, singing sweet songs to brighten her darker nights. A Chiara/Carewyn ending would’ve been what I considered the “Peaceful” ending, AKA the “Soft uwu” ending -- but it also sort of struck me that the two’s personalities and demons were similar enough that there wouldn’t be as much chance for growth for both of them, and there wouldn’t be as much action or engaging contrast in their interactions, as they would both be pretty universally supportive of each other except when they’re blocking the other out “for their own good.” Even if Carewyn doesn’t end up with Chiara romantically, though, she cherishes her as a friend and would do anything to make her happy.

Diego — This option sort of came out of nowhere, but quickly developed from a crackship into a genuine ship for me, given that like Chiara, Diego would be able to bring some sunlight into Carewyn’s life and be a dependable partner who wouldn’t put high expectations on Carewyn’s shoulders. As for Carewyn, she finds Diego’s flirting absolutely hysterical. Part of this is because Carewyn herself is asexual, but she also just isn’t the sort to actively “flirt” with people. Funnily enough, however, Diego’s charm does end up endearing him to Carewyn anyway, though not for the reason it might charm others! Although she does find his behavior funny, she can still tell he’s sincerely trying to compliment the people he’s talking to, and he’s also amazingly modest despite his clear talent at wizard dueling. Add onto this that he likes dancing, and music-loving!Carewyn has found he’s an all-around pretty fun guy to spend time with. Diego also isn’t turned off in the slightest by Carewyn finding amusement in his flirting, either -- if anything, he finds it rather endearing, as Carewyn is usually so serious and he thinks she should laugh more often. A Diego/Carewyn ending would’ve been what I considered the “Fun” ending, AKA the “Romcom” ending -- but it also felt as though it was an ending that could only come to be and work well in peaceful times, with Diego not being as well-equipped in dealing with Carewyn’s darker spells or in dealing with more serious issues or deep heart-to-heart conversations.

Orion — This, after a lot of deliberation, is the final end-game ship I’ve decided for Carewyn post-Second-Wizarding-War. Orion really wasn’t what Carewyn expected out of a Quidditch captain when they first met in her third year and his fourth, but being related to two Ravenclaws, she actually finds his vague, philosophical bent kind of refreshing. It can still frustrate her sometimes due to her desire to plan ahead, but she sees how his off-kilter affect keeps others on their toes and, therefore, can shift control over a situation his way. (Rather appropriate display of cleverness, for a Slytherin.) Learning his backstory prompts a lot of empathy from Carewyn as well, given that she also didn’t have any real friends before attending Hogwarts, and she greatly admires how wise Orion has become both about himself and about life, even after going through what he’s gone through. After being on his team for that short time, Carewyn’s developed a lot of respect for Orion, and even after leaving, she’s remained very supportive of her house team and especially of Orion as their leader. Even if Carewyn’s not on the team, she keeps up with Quidditch not just out of love for the sport, but because of her desire to see Orion’s team do well. As for Orion, he got the sense they were kindred spirits ever since they first played side-by-side in the match against Hufflepuff and quietly laments that she’s never been a permanent member of his team. He frequently cites that Carewyn has “more fire than a Firecrab” -- although he can find it a bit overpowering at times, her passion was the thing that first sparked his interest in her, and over the years, Orion has come to see her as an equal, admiring her not just for that passion, but for her determination, courage, and selflessness. Orion and Carewyn are also both incredibly insightful, thoughtful, sensitive people who have the tendency to “create a family” out of their friends that they support and nurture in an almost parental manner. After Carewyn left the Slytherin team after the match against Hufflepuff, Orion attempted to persuade Carewyn to rejoin several times over the years due to his lingering fondness for her, even though he’s always respected her decision not to. It’s only after Carewyn returns to the team to help Slytherin win the Quidditch Cup for the first time in ten years and gets injured in the process that Orion learns that he and Carewyn have the same Patronus -- an Abraxan Winged Horse -- which, according to the old wives’ tale, suggests that they are soul mates. By then, however, Orion is set to graduate within weeks and he knows that Carewyn’s life is of course consumed with dealing with the Vaults. And so he decides not to pursue the chance of a relationship solely based on a superstition, however much he regrets his lack of action later. As adults, the two reconnect after the end of the Second Wizarding War and an unconventional romance starts between the two. This endgame ship gives Carewyn both things I wanted for her while shipping Chiara/Carewyn and Diego/Carewyn -- peace and fun -- while also matching her with someone who can bring some balance and positivity to her life and help her let go of her inner demons and yet who she can also defend, protect, and love with all of her fire. And because of their differences -- Orion being so chill, passive, and philosophical and Carewyn being so sensible, perfectionistic, and passionate -- they’ll constantly contrast and challenge each other too.

FRIENDS |

Bill — The Weasley family overall filled the void in Carewyn’s heart that Jacob left behind, none more so than Bill. Carewyn adores Bill like few others and supports him in his Cursebreaking 110%, to the extent that she probably would help him do it even if it didn’t involve the Cursed Vaults. Bill quasi-“adopts” Carewyn into his family pretty early on, but only grows closer to and fonder of her over time, as she’s the first person who he’s ever been able to lean on the way he always let his siblings lean on him. Bill’s accompanied Carewyn to every single Cursed Vault, and he is her right-hand man when it comes to who she’d pick to help her with something dangerous. By the time Bill’s graduated, the two stand on relatively equal footing despite their age gap, and after the death of Redacted, Bill and Carewyn solidly become each other’s best friend and confidante, leaning on and supporting each other more than anyone else. The rest of Carewyn’s friend group likes to jokingly refer to her and Bill as the “Mum” and “Dad” of the group, given their shared tendency to “parent” the others. Bill was the one who coined the nickname “Carey” for Carewyn, and the rest of her friend group has totally run with it since, none more so than Charlie and Tonks.

Charlie — If Bill is Carewyn’s surrogate big brother, Charlie is Carewyn’s twin brother from another mother. Carewyn loves talking about dragons with Charlie. (They’re just so cool!) Charlie and Carewyn also like playing in Quidditch friendlies together, even if they’re in different houses, and they can often be seen handling Prefect duties together. Ever since Charlie, Bill, and Carewyn went into the Portrait Vault with Ben and Merula, the two Weasley boys and Carewyn have been closer than ever. Charlie and Carewyn in particular have latched onto each other in Bill’s absence, given how close both of them were to him. As adults post-Hogwarts, Charlie frequently crashes on Carewyn’s couch whenever he flies in for a visit from Romania, if his mother doesn’t insist upon him staying at the Burrow. Charlie and Carewyn refer to themselves as a pair as “Fireballs,” because Chinese Fireballs are the only dragons known to live among their own kind -- and so the word represents how Charlie and Carewyn see each other as kindred spirits.

Rowan — Rowan was Carewyn’s first friend at Hogwarts, but recently they’ve sort of been growing apart, due to Rowan’s extreme focus on academics and Carewyn’s extreme focus on finding her brother. For Carewyn, it feels like she’s changed a lot in five years -- starting as the shunned younger sister of the delinquent Jacob Cromwell and growing into a renowned Cursebreaker who has learned so much and made so many different friends and now tries to protect Hogwarts and her fellow students however she can -- while Rowan has rigidly stayed put where she was, remaining as studious and socially awkward as ever. Carewyn doesn’t resent Rowan for this -- on the contrary, she’s always admired Rowan’s single-minded ambition to be the youngest professor in Hogwarts history, damn what anyone else says, and wishes she had the luxury of chasing her own dreams that doggedly. But at the same time, Carewyn wouldn’t have felt good about herself, if she’d stayed the way she’d been when she first arrived. She sees herself as having been weaker, less competent, and less capable back then, while Rowan was always so brilliant and both emotionally and intellectually ahead of everyone else. Rowan and Carewyn have grown into very different people over the last five years, but Carewyn still loves and treasures Rowan like few people in the world as her first real friend and the friend that in some ways she wishes she could be more like.

Talbott — The two at first didn’t see eye-to-eye at all, given that Talbott tends to hide most of his positive emotions at first and Carewyn hides her negative emotions constantly --- but once the ice broke between them, the two really connected and became good friends. Carewyn loves Talbott’s sense of humor and was also pleasantly surprised to find out what a great writer he is! She often volunteers to read whatever he’s working on, which kind of weirds Talbott out, but he secretly is happy she likes his stuff. When Carewyn wants some peace, she’ll take some time to fly around in her robin Animagus form, and she always loves it when Talbott joins her for a flight around the grounds. Carewyn often sings little tweeted songs the entire way, and even if Talbott teases her for it, he does actually really enjoy it. Post-Hogwarts they work together a lot, as Talbott is an Auror and Carewyn is a lawyer.

Ben — Ben was one of the very first people who Carewyn took under her wing, and even now, she remains a bit protective of him. She was always really proud whenever he expressed more courage and initiative in the past, but with the advent of sixth year, Ben has grown a lot more reckless and blunt, to the extent he could easily get himself into a dangerous situation and get hurt. Carewyn isn’t sure at all how to react to the development, but she doesn’t like it -- not one bit. Ben himself is struggling with how much Carewyn wants to look at him as someone to protect while never letting anyone else do the same for her. Because he’s known her longer than most, he’s seen Carewyn’s own dramatic transformation from a quiet, but overemotional little girl into a micromanaging, fussing, stoic, confident Mama Bear, and as much as he’s glad Carewyn’s gotten more confidence, he laments being on equal footing with his friend and feeling like he could help her as much as she helps him. Once they get their emotions and issues sorted, Ben and Carewyn become closer than ever, to the point that he, Merula, Charlie, and Bill are co-leader of the Circle of Khanna with Carewyn.

Barnaby — At first Carewyn couldn’t help but look down on Barnaby a bit given how dim he could be, but once he agreed to help her, she was surprised by how sincere and sweet he really was. Soon enough she felt her protective instincts kick in, and now she’s incredibly encouraging and supportive of him. These days you can usually see them chatting excitedly about magical creatures together in class -- Carewyn’s really happy to see Barnaby succeeding in Care of Magical Creatures as well as enjoying it, and Barnaby loves it whenever Carewyn sings to the creatures they’re working with in order to soothe them.

Jae — Although their personalities are pretty diametrically opposed, even down to house placement, Carewyn gets along pretty well with Jae. She doesn’t entirely see the appeal of him dealing with shadier merchandise, but he still agreed to help her when she needed to go to Knockturn Alley despite the risks and he’s a pretty sharp, resourceful person. Carewyn mostly just thinks he should push himself more, rather than just be content with where he’s at. After learning how much Jae likes cooking, Carewyn has enjoyed spending time with him in the kitchens whenever she wants to try out a new recipe.

Penny — Carewyn was actually a bit startled when popular Penny first took an interest in her in their first year. In their fifth year, Carewyn grew a bit more protective of Penny with the Portrait Curse capturing her younger sister, Beatrice -- now that Beatrice and Penny have started to grow apart, however, Carewyn now finds herself stuck between them, feeling sympathy for Beatrice’s position but still valuing her friendship with Penny.

Liz — Carewyn and Liz’s friendship is a bit more casual than others, but they’ve really connected well thanks to their shared interest in magical creatures. You can usually see Carewyn hanging out with her, Charlie, and Barnaby in Care of Magical Creatures.

Badeea — Art buddies! Carewyn is very encouraging of Badeea’s artistic talent, and the two love talking about music and Charms together.

Tonks — Carewyn greatly admires Tonks’s wish to be an Auror and loves how funny her imitations can be, but more often than not ends up being the butt of one of Tonks’s pranks.

Tulip — Like Tonks, Tulip loves pranking Carewyn. A LOT. Carewyn doesn’t find most of her jokes that funny, but can’t stay that mad at her.

Fred and George — Carewyn has only just met the twins, but she can already tell they’re going to be a handful. But they’re Bill and Charlie’s brothers, so in Carewyn’s mind, they are already family, so she feels a bit of protectiveness toward them.

Cedric — When Carewyn met Cedric, her first reaction was immense pity, given how much attention he’d managed to accrue in his first year alone when he clearly didn’t feel like he deserved it. Cedric reminds Carewyn of herself in first and second year, when she was still so shy and insecure whenever people would talk about her, so the Slytherin Prefect feels a lot of compassion for Cedric. She sort of hopes everyone will lay off him a bit so he can just have a normal school life without so much pressure.

Percy — Carewyn hadn’t thought she’d ever encounter someone that she would consider a stick-in-the-mud...until she met Percy Weasley. His rat Scabbers is kind of cute, though -- when he doesn’t bite!

Skye — Carewyn appreciates all of the help Skye gave her when she first started playing in Quidditch friendlies, but at present, she’s not talking to Skye, thanks to her going off and starting unfounded rumors about the Ravenclaw Beater, Erika Rath, the way that people spread rumors about Carewyn when she first started at Hogwarts. NOT COOL, SKYE. Orion deserves better than to deal with that sort of drama!!

Murphy — Both he and Carewyn are planners, and that’s great...but Murphy only plays Wizard Chess, a game he’s great at and Carewyn is terrible at, and that’s not so great.

Professor McGonagall — The Deputy Headmistress is by far the professor Carewyn respects above all others. Even if she finds her class very challenging, she gives every assignment her all because of how much she respects McGonagall and wants to impress her. McGonagall herself nurtures a soft spot for Carewyn, even despite her being in Slytherin, due to her strong moral streak and desire to protect others.

Professor Flitwick — Charms is Carewyn’s best and favorite class, and Flitwick is a large reason why. Carewyn also really admires Flitwick’s talent in wizard dueling and is always thrilled to learn new dueling spells from him. Flitwick had a soft spot for Carewyn’s brother Jacob back in the day, since Jacob was in his house, and he’s nurtured a similar soft spot for Carewyn because of her great talent in and enthusiasm for Charms.

Professor Kettleburn — Carewyn adores Care of Magical Creatures and, by extension, Professor Kettleburn. She just really doesn’t want to lose as many body parts or clothing pieces as he has. Kettleburn always enjoys when Carewyn sings to the creatures in his class -- he finds it incredibly creative and entertaining.

Hagrid — Carewyn loves Fang SO MUCH. And Hagrid too. Just not his rock cakes. And Hagrid...well, Carewyn’s just so tiny, but with such a big heart!

FOES |

Rakepick — Pre-Portrait Vault, Carewyn didn’t trust Rakepick as far as she can throw her, largely because she couldn’t get a good fix on her. Even Snape, who Carewyn clashes with at times, seems to have a wonky code of honor (META: largely because she is a Slytherin and -- more notably -- is at school before she could see how terribly he treats Harry and Neville!), but Carewyn wasn’t even sure if she could ascribe that to Rakepick. Her initial judgment seems to have been justified, given how Rakepick acted in the Portrait Vault -- but Rakepick’s betrayal, which was somehow even worse than Carewyn could’ve imagined, has only served to make the young Slytherin feel less sure on her feet, as she’s started to connect the dots and realize that her comrades may have trusted Rakepick for the some of the same reasons that they’ve trusted Carewyn herself. Rakepick and Carewyn have encouraged the others, but have also never trusted them with their true feelings or motives, and they both led them into danger all because of their desire to get to the Cursed Vaults. Although they pursued the Vaults for different reasons, they were both relentless, resourceful, stubborn and proud in their pursuit -- and in enlisting others to help them in that pursuit, they were both responsible for every terrible thing that ensued from it.

Ismelda — Carewyn really doesn’t like her intense interest in pain and suffering -- like...at all. Even if she might put on a strong, unflappable face, Carewyn is way too big of a bleeding heart to enjoy death or pain. Ismelda also considering using a Love Potion on Barnaby soured Carewyn to her quite a bit, though Carewyn is glad Ismelda changed her mind and they were able to come to some sort of a truce.

Merula — Their rivalry was much more intense when they were younger and Merula was actively bullying Ben and Rowan -- nowadays Carewyn just uses her help when it’s useful and ignores her when she’s being her usual awful self. After seeking counsel from her mother and Rowan, Carewyn was even nice enough to give Merula her spot on the Frog Choir, even if she’d really wanted it herself. Although Rowan staying constant and unchanging throughout the years is something Carewyn admires in her, however, she absolutely loathes the quality when it’s expressed in Merula. At the end of year 5, she and Merula came to something of a truce, but with the start of their sixth year, Merula’s taken a couple giant steps back in her evolution, which greatly frustrates and disappoints Carewyn. Carewyn wouldn’t ever call Merula her friend, but...well, she’d still been happy to see Merula had actually been able to prove her a little wrong and become a slightly better person. It’s awful to see her regress after going through that slight improvement.

Professor Dumbledore — Although Dumbledore is an amazingly powerful wizard with a very amiable attitude, over the years Carewyn has gotten very, very frustrated with how much she’s told to stop trying to deal with the Vaults. On top of that, the Headmaster of Hogwarts frequently obfuscates things a bit too much for Carewyn’s liking. She can sense that he is trying to be helpful, but that in a way makes things all the more frustrating, as she finds his methods so phenomenally misguided. Carewyn tries to conceal just how low her opinion of the man has fallen, but in truth she’s become rather resentful of him.

Emily — Oh gosh. Given how fond Carewyn is of Bill and how ridiculously condescending and prone to bullying Emily can be, Carewyn understandably despises her. She hates her more than she ever hated Merula.

PETS (IF ANY) | Mimi (orange tabby cat), Sir Robin the Brave (toad), Lune (bat), Balto (Cruppy)

ANIMAL PRESERVE (IF ANY) | Wicket the Niffler; Tumnus the Porlock; Arjuna the Abraxan; Belle the Fairy; Esmeralda the Welsh Green; Leila the Thestral, Peter Quill the Knarl; Apollo the Hippogriff; Barnaby Jr. the Bowtruckle

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badgersgarbage · 6 years ago

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Kris(py kreme lol)

eyy nice

This one’s gonna be a long one though, just to let you know.

Physical attributes:

In terms of height, I’d say they’d be 5'4 at the time of the game but probably grows up to be 5'9 or so.

They’re pretty thin in general, but not without a hint of muscle, mostly from school activities.

I, personally, envision Kris as being biologically male, but that’s just me. Not something I hold onto as a hard-and-fast rule, mind you, and not something I’ll chastise people over not following.

Not so much biological in this case, but I can see Kris identifying as agender. Or is just apathetic to the whole gender thing entirely and doesn’t really care how people refer to them as. I tend to write them with they/them pronouns but I can see them not caring if people use he/him or she/her when talking about them.

Abilities and skills:

Despite their generally reserved nature, Kris is remarkably good at negotiating and, in some cases, outright manipulation of others. But they often choose not to do the latter, mainly because that usually just means more trouble than it’s worth.

Very good at being quiet and slinking around, given their propensity for pranking others.

On a similar note, they’re very good at planning things in advance and working out all manner of schemes well beforehand.

In terms of combat prowess, however, they’ve only learned stuff from the various books, video games and anime they’ve consumed. They’re not a trained swordsman or anything, and tend towards flashy moves, but it’s not like they’re expecting to stab anybody for realsies.

Has a fair bit of determination they can call upon, but not nearly as much as, say, Frisk or Chara would in their own world. Generally this only comes out when they feel invested in something (such as the Dark World), but otherwise it’s kind of just the same sort of background levels a human like them would have. More on that below.

His life and personality:

Honestly, we already know a lot about Kris’ home-life: grew up in a loving family, then the parents split none-too-happily, then their brother Asriel left for college and they’ve been kind of alone ever since.

Spent a lot of time with Asriel in school and, particularly during and after the divorce, relied on him the most for emotional support. So when Asriel left, they felt like their only friend had left, and they withdrew quite significantly.

Adopted at a very young age, since they seemed unaware that humans don’t normally grow horns. So probably barely knew their biological parents, if at all.

Likely has some form of depression, as well as some mild sociopathic and/or psychopathic tendencies. Not enough to be a major worry, but enough for them to be seen as the ‘creepy kid’.

Almost everything they have is a hand-me-down from Asriel - given that Asriel was probably generally bigger than them, their clothes are often quite big on them. And unfortunately remind them almost always of their brother.

On the neglected end of child favouritism, with Asriel being shown a lot of love by Toriel and… well, no shortage of love given to Kris, but perhaps not as many displays of it. Generally grew up expecting not to have much stuff so doesn’t often ask for things from others. Which is why they found the stuff from the Dark World so important to them, and they loathe the Player for dropping it.

When they were younger and less emotionally withdrawn they were, in short, a little shit. Pulling pranks, tormenting Noelle, and generally having very little impulse control. All relatively harmless, but still with almost no way to stop it unless someone basically took them by the hand and said ‘hey no don’t do that’.

Now, a good way to describe them would be ‘apathetic’. They no longer have any real motivation, no desire to do much except sleep, and generally don’t care about anything, wandering through life as it happens around them.

Ironically, that’s what makes them perfect for a vessel for the Player’s SOUL - they feel pretty much empty and devoid of purpose. However, the issue with that is that after some time, Kris reacted poorly to it, which is a theory/thoughtdump for later on.

Actually really enjoys playing the piano, particularly fairly slow and soulful tunes.

Now again, this might be my bias showing, but I can almost imagine them getting on better with Asgore than Toriel. Difference in hugs aside, it’s pretty clear Kris cares about them (putting the danny devit-egg in the fridge without player input being the strongest of the possible evidence I can think of at this point). I can at least see them being deeply embarrassed by how Toriel seems to treat them like a young child still, and perhaps even resents her for it in a pretty typical teenage way.

Really, really, really likes dragons. Probably quite liked drawing them too. might also be a strong point as to why I ship them with susie but shhhhh we can talk about ships later

Generally doesn’t like talking to people. Not much of a conversationalist, or likes interacting with others in general. Probably was like that even before Asriel left.

Doesn’t express themselves much. Like, at all. Their face is almost perpetually tired-looking and they only give small gestures for reaction. This is slightly different in the Dark World, where they actually do move their face - their mouth remains fairly steady, but their eyes carry most of the emotion.

Has no interest in the whole religion that Toriel and Asriel (latter is a probability as opposed to a guarantee) subscribe to, which probably puts them at odds with their mother.

As a friend/romantic interest:

Being the withdrawn, socially-awkward mess they are, I can see them being particularly apprehensive about getting close to anyone in all respects; mentally, physically and emotionally.

Will let the other person take the ‘lead’ in their friendship, and will generally follow along with whatever they do.

After a while they might get comfortable enough to really, fully unload all manner of heartache and personal stuff onto you, more as a way to get it off their chest. Then, they’d probably finally start to be expressive around you.

If romance becomes involved, it’d be pretty much the same, except then they’d also feel more comfortable with physical contact. Almost to the point of never letting go, but almost.

Probably wouldn’t take any form of abandonment too well either, and might frequently try to seek attention just so they can feel some kind of validation. After a while they’d probably chill in the latter regard, but the first would still be something they always fear.

Really though just give them lots of affection and love (platonic or otherwise), be prepared to have an emotional wreck on your hands, and you’ll end up with a steadfast friend/partner who might do the occasional bad thing but genuinely means well.

Oh yeah, and get ready to deal with weird stuff with SOULs.

And them getting up in the middle of the night for snacks

#deltarune #kris #kris dreemurr #kris deltarune #bfg's headcanons

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ofdanny · 6 years ago

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mmmk so hi !! i’m taylor, i go by she/her pronouns, and i am very very excited to be here. my two muses are danny and todd and i’m not very good at these posts ?? and i also kind of don’t like them so lets just dive right into this, yay !!

HELLO my name is ( DANIEL HARTLEY ). people often mistake me for ( DYLAN O'BRIEN ). i find this very silly but people also tell me i’m ( EASY-GOING ) and ( APATHETIC ). i am born in ( MEDFORD, OREGON ) but i now live in ( SEATTLE, WASHINGTON ). if there’s one song that describes me the most it’d have to be ( WEEKEND by MAC MILLER ). — ( taylor, 19, est, she/her )

to say the least daniel was a surprise to his parents. they had no desire to have kids, but the only plus to him was that he just so happened to be a bouncing baby boy, and his father saw an opportunity to keep the company alive. as a child the only parental guidance he ever received was from his caregiver and homeschool teacher, ana— walking, potty training, puberty, his first kiss… ana was there for him through all of it.

his parents never gave him much attention outside considering they were too busy living their best lives as one of the most well-loved power couples. of course, it hurt him but ana eased the pain. the only time he received any actual attention from his mother was when his father would be working late and little four-year-old danny would walk into his parents room to find his mom. she’d let him brush her long, dark hair, or sing to him when she was in an exceptionally good mood some nights, or listen to him play the piano ( which he was learning at the time ) — those few evenings are engraved in his mind, his love for his mother growing with every short-ended second he spent with her.

when daniel was thirteen his father told him that he was the heir of the greatest company of all time. to a normal, tween kid this would have sounded like a dream. but daniel loathed even the thought of it.when he was sixteen when his mom left him and his dad without any warning, and the reason for her leaving…? danny has no clue. he wasn’t very involved with his parents when he grew past the age of eight. ana was all he needed to an extent.

due to his mothers disappearance his father kind of went off the deep end— anger issues, drinking, sleeping with other women. the communications technologies company that his father owned held it’s own for the time being until his father got back on his feet. that’s also when they up and officially settled in new york rather than switching between oregon and new york. all of this would have left danny unphased until his father fired ana out of spite, merely because he saw daniel was fine while he was drowning in sorrow. that’s when things started to go south for hartley.

he had started to resent his father, his mother, and this posh lifestyle. he started to fight with people in public places, affecting his fathers reputation. he blew off every other new teacher that came in to teach him ( even though, eventually, he finally let up and is learning about business— his fathers wishes, of course. ), and he practically formed an unhealthy habit of spiraling, using booze and alcohol to help drink himself into incoherence. the only thing that helps clear his head is when he plays the piano, and he plays it well considering he mastered it at a young age.

nowadays, his father has him attend meetings and consistently tries to convince him to embrace the wealth and the power he may gain one day, but the discussion always ends in one of them red-faced, steam coming out of their ears. as said before, daniel hates this lifestyle. he never asked for the riches or the power, and he certainly doesn’t want it. you’d think he’d want love and affection, but he’s gone without it for so long that he no longer has a the cravings for it. he has very little for friends, and he prefers to keep to himself. he will purposefully hurt your feelings if you don’t leave him alone when he wants you to, and he won’t think twice about verbally abusing you, hitting your insecurities and things of the sort.

long story short, daniel is 23 years old. he’s very sarcastic, very dead-pan, and if you catch him on a bad day? he’s not nice, and he’s very hard to get along with so good fucking luck loldanny came back to oregon because his father said ‘it’d be good for him to gain some perspective’, but in reality he knew his father just didn’t want to take the time off of work and the thought of coming back to the place where he and his mother were once still together is… catastrophic. daniel didn’t fight against his dad wishes to come to the cabin. although, he also hates how nostalgic the place is. all in all, danny is just here to it in a corner and drink tbh

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;

long lost friends - he gets to the cabins and runs into someone who looks familiar. turns out it’s his old buddie from when he was just a tot !! and wow you’ve changed kind of and shit daniel you’re still a dick huh lol

drinking buddies - the pair always meet at the same time on the same day, unspokenly, and it slowly grows from causal bar talk from across the counter to them pouring their souls out to each other and laughing until they crY ok how cute i stan

frenemies - the typical banter on these two is expected from everyone around, and at times they may cross the line with their horrid words and degrading insults but in the end they always result to tough love. but, god forbid one of them get’s too mushy with the other… they’d never live it down.

twisted - as toxic as they seem the pair always seem to end up together… in bed… naked. they are so wrong for each other that anybody could take one look at them and know that they wouldn’t last a day. but, somehow, they always manage to sex it out with no strings attached despite the screaming and the infuriating words they say to one another. they are perfectly wrong for each other and they both hate and love it at the same time. but how much longer can they keep this up…?

HELLO my name is ( TODDERIC TENNER ). people often mistake me for ( THEO JAMES ). i find this very silly but people also tell me i’m ( AFFABLE ) and ( MANIPULATIVE ). i am born in ( MEDFORD, OREGON ) but i now live in ( NAPA, CALIFORNIA ). if there’s one song that describes me the most it’d have to be ( VOICES IN MY HEAD / STICK TO THE PLAN by BIG SEAN ). — ( taylor, 19, est, she/her )

when todd was pretty young he moved from foster house to foster house pretty much until his adopted father found him ( more on that later ). the story is that as a baby, todd was left at child services doorstep so tbh no one has a clUe who his parents are. • his history is the typical sob story of hating every home he moved to bc the people who took him in didn't want him in their home bc he was too problematic and a "bad influence on their other children". he was just a very angry kid honestly • all that being said, when he was 15 he left the family he was supposed to stay with for another week or so but he honestly couldn't take being around that family anymore so he packed his backpack with the three pieces of clothes he had and left. he didn't know where he was going but when he turned into a dark alley he found two men beating and stomping another man nearly to death. like any kid with the least bit of common sense he turned around and legged it only to run into what felt like a wall but was a man three times his height.

long story short they dragged him back to their headquarters and pondered on whether or not they should just kill him or let him stick around. the man who was three times his height spoke up and they decided to keep him to help with operations.

all in all, Todd was adopted into this huge ass drug industry and was adopted by the super tall man who turned out to be basically this really big drug lord who wanted a son and found one yay !!

so todd basically learned how to lie, scheme, steal, fight, intimidate... pretty much a bunch of negative traits and he was great at it. he didn't like it but he simply did as he was told.

todd's now 27 and on a job that was supposed to be an easy pick up and dip out but it turned out to be a fucked drop bc the feds came and they caught todd and he was immediately put in prison but they soon let him out because they somehow could pin any hard evidence against him so he's now a free man rip

after that whole shabang todd took it upon himself to ditch the whole gang lifestyle and create a life for himself. he got on a bus and hit the road from oregon to california, using the money he made and saved from the past jobs to buy himself a comfortable house in napa and now he sells wine :)

he figured his old gang would come for him but they haven't yet and he isn't going to complain about it either. he's keeling his head low and staying quiet for the time being.

in reference to coming back to oregon is interesting bc after settling down in napa he went on a search for his parents only to find out that his father died in a car crash ten years back and his mother supposedly passed with him too, but they never found the body.

his father had a will written out though and in it stated that there was a house oregon that was left for todd and with it was a note with a simple apology, that hardly explained anything about why they abandoned todd and who they were, and an address that belonged to the cabins

todd is only here to find more information on his parents and history. ( wanted connection: maybe someone who knew his parents ? maybe someone else's parents knew his parents, recognized the name and "i'm so sorry for your loss...."

now his personality? he seems like a typical guy. he keeps to himself most of the time. since he's on a mission to find information he won't be afraid to use someone to get what he wants. if you get in his way he'll find a way around you or a way to move you. simple as that.

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;

roomies - todd and his roommate soon become acquaintances but it’s open for pretty much anything ? todd doesn’t truat anyone so maybe they sOMehow gain his trust and he lets them help find clues or information ? idk lets talk omg

use me - they’re friends but then again they’re not. lovers? yes and no. either way, the sex is great and when either is feeling stressed or sad or whatever the feeling, they text / call each other up and “my place or yours?”

you knew my parents ...?! ( this could potentially include multiple muses !! ) - todd is only here by chance and he is desperate to know who his parents were. one would think finding information would be hard, but the minute he mutters “tenner.” at check-in, some stranger places their hand on his back and whispers “i’m so sorry for your loss...”

okay !! so this is very general and informal i'm sorry if it wasn't clear ?? if you have any questions or anything of the sort please feel free to ask !! ask me anything pls ill spill my guts to you. also i may be adding more wanted connections over time so please click here just in case i add more mmmk. again, ( i’ll keep saying this ) i’m thrilled to be here h2gkmo

#hi i'm out rn rip but i will be home soon !!#oregonhq: ooc #this is super long btw

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aurorarose2112 · 7 years ago

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Miraculous - Thoughts

So, I see a lot of hate for new (and original) female characters, like Chloe, Lila, Kagami, Rena Rouge (and future female characters to come).

My stand in this is that, well, I guess I like Kagami and Rena Rouge, but I immensely dislike Chloe and Lila.

So, first: Chloe. I see several posts, mainly from those who like Chloe, stating that she acts like the stuck-up kid she is because her mother left her at a young age (and her father probably pampered her the entire time while she grew up, leading her to be so spoiled). I can't deny that some children may turn out this way when faced with such a past, however, I do not see any mention of this (in Wikipedia or Thomas' twitter blog) being true. Sure, they have mentioned that Chloe's mother's whereabouts are unknown, but it isn't confirmed whether the said mother is just constantly away from home, divorced or maybe even deceased. Sure, there was that one image of her mother walking away with a luggage in hand in the second episode of season 2, Despair Bear, that may have implied her mother leaving the family, but this is not yet confirmed to be the truth or a fact; it is an uncertain assumption. Hence, this reason wouldn't really provide a strong argument for fans who like Chloe, and we shouldn't really insist that it is the case without concrete information. (To be honest, I believe the whole 'abandoned by her mother' idea was probably something a fan thought up, which is logical but not proven to be fact yet. On a different matter, even if it were the truth, I don't think it justifies the way she treats everyone to be beneath her, especially towards Marinette [with the exception of Adrien].)

But, I can't say I hate Chloe completely, for she has shown that she too has well-like qualities. One would be her treatment towards close friends. Despite constantly fighting with Sabrina, and treating her more of a servant than a friend, it is seen in the seventeenth episode of season 1, Antibug, that she indeed does view Sabrina to be an important person in her life, by forgiving her (albeit with advice from Ladybug) and even giving her a new brooch/pin. And despite displaying a lack of care towards Sabrina's excitement, it is shown that she secretly smiles to herself, showing that she is indeed happy to have Sabrina back by her side.

There is also her friendship with Adrien, one that leans more towards the fact that she has an undeniable and obvious crush on him. In Despair Bear, when Adrien declares that he can't be friends with someone who treats other people 'this way', in reference to the utter disrespect and zero concern she holds for everyone else other than herself, there is a visible drop in her mood. Something her butler notices and tries to cheer her up, as well as advice her on how to reaffirm her friendship with Adrien. Knowing how prideful Chloe is, she would usually ignore anyone's advice, much less that of a mere servant's. But the fact that she willingly took her butler's advice on the matter shows how much she values her friendship with Adrien. This is further established in the act of inviting Marinette, the person everyone knows she despises the most (and the one who despises her back), to the party she had organized later that day, albeit reluctantly, as well as kissing Marinette's cheeks as a greeting (despite spitting disgustedly immediately after). The fact that she put aside her pride and did so goes to show the extent she's willing to go just so as to ensure Adrien is willing to maintain their friendship. Hence she isn't all that despicable.

Then, there's Lila. Despite only showing up in one episode in the whole of Miraculous series that has been released so far, I've come to loathe her much more than I dislike Chloe. While it is seen that Chloe lies some, if not most, of the time, at least she does speak the truth at times and does admit to her mistakes (only with Ladybug though, and vice versa). However, Lila is observed to have lied from the start to the end of the one episode she was in. First, she lied on Ladyblog about Ladybug having saved her life and being close friends, so as to manipulate everyone into liking her (basically, for the popularity - something she would do anything for to gain more of). Then, when she finds out Adrien has a crush on Ladybug, she chances upon the book of Miraculous that Adrien had sneaked out of his father's office and lied to Adrien about being a superhero and having a Miraculous. She even attains a fake necklace to prove her point. Later, after being Akumatised into Volpina, she creates the illusion of a meteor and pretends to save the city of Paris from it, all so to gain the attention once more. Then she lies to Chat Noir and Ladybug about her being a real superhero (although she did reveal the truth to Ladybug, only when she threatened to end Ladybug's life). From there, she goes to Adrien's house and meets him in his room, and uses her akumatised form to lie and convince him that she was a real superhero, just so to make him fall in love with her (no such luck though, since he was told by Ladybug that it was her akumatised form). After that, on the Eiffel Tower, she creates an illusion of Adrien and threatens to drop him unless Ladybug gave up her Miraculous. There wasn't once she spoke the truth, and honestly, as the episode progressed, I found her more and more to be an attention-whore (please forgive my foul language), lying about everything just so she can get what she wants, also displaying that she is a selfish person. She doesn't care how her actions may affect others, only that it would benefit herself, just like how she had noted that Ladybug had a thing for Adrien and threatened to end his life without caring how devastated and fearful Ladybug had felt in the moment. She also displays no form of remorse for her lies, as shown when Ladybug, admittedly harshly, insulted her for lying to the masses about Ladybug saving her and being close friends with her, and for lying to Adrien about being Volpina. Instead of apologising to Ladybug for lying and admitting to her dishonesty, she grows furious towards Ladybug, feeling wronged (despite not having the right - she was lying the entire time after all) and holds a grudge towards Ladybug, one she wasn't about to let go. This is shown when, after her deakumatisation, despite Ladybug sincerely apologising to her, she proclaims that they 'would never be friends'. So far, she is the only person that I see as a potential threat to the love square of the main characters because of her relentlessness, despite Adrien not liking her that way (Chloe kinda doesn't affect the square much since she isn't interested in Chat, and Adrien isn't interested in Chloe).

Next, there's Kagami. Honestly speaking, I have no idea why anyone would hate her or see her as a threat. Her character introduction in the fifth episode of season 2, Riposte, shows how her mother was a successful fencer and she is simply stressed by the fact that she has to follow her mother's footsteps and be the best. Hence her loss to Adrien, unfortunately caused by Marinette's uncertainty in the victor of their duel, was a heavy blow on her and her fear of disappointing and disgracing her family greatly depressed her, leading her to be akumatised. When she first took off her mask in front of Adrien, it was shown how Adrien was dumbfounded. But honestly, I think it was mainly due to him finding out his opponent was a female, for he was initially unaware of this, not so much because of her elegant appearance. After her deakumatisation, Adrien approaches her before she gets into her car, and apologises to her in Marinette's stead for the uncertain decision of who the victor was, for he was aware of how upset she was when she first tells him about her family and their expectations for her. On top of that, he encourages her to continue fencing and even suggests a rematch. This illustrates the extent of respect he holds toward her, and how fond he is of her as a fellow rival in fencing, as well as a possible friend in the near future. In this episode, there is nothing remotely flirty, or potential love interest going on, it was just Adrien reaching out to Kagami like the kind person he was and being a friend to her. And Kagami, too, doesn't display much of a romantic interest towards him. This is so as, when he explains to her how easily flustered Marinette may tend to be, she notices how fondly he speaks of her and happily comments on it, not holding any form of jealousy or contempt in her tone as she does so. Also, Adrien replies that Marinette is a 'great friend' to him, and could be one to her too, even going to far as to suggest that she should befriend Marinette, saying that Kagami will definitely like her. Kagami responds with a 'Maybe I will', and it is a fact that Kagami is a sincere and honest person, and her acceptance towards Adrien's suggestion shows that she too, through Adrien, developed a fondness for Marinette despite not personally knowing her at all (aside from her appearance and everything Adrien told her about Marinette). The exchange clearly shows pure desire for friendship, not love, and if anything, Kagami appears to support Adrien's and Marinette's relationship (whether or not it's true I have yet to confirm, but once again, she doesn't sound the least bit spiteful when mentioning the fact that Adrien is fond of Marinette). Hence, I don't see how this may threaten the love square, for it clear that Adrien likes Marinette more than he likes Kagami, and his love for Ladybug is still going strong.

Finally, there's Rena Rouge. Again, I don't see how she is a hateable character or a threat. Allow me to remind us all that Rena Rouge is also Alya: Marinette's best friend and Ladybug's biggest fan. It is observed throughout the whole series so far that she is supportive of Marinette, be it in her daily life, in times of crisis, or in love. Sure, she has mentioned several times that Adrien is physically attractive, one example would be in episode sixteen of season 1, Animan, where she and Marinette were leaving the school grounds, with Marinette's nosed buried in a magazine full of images from Adrien's photoshot, and Alya describes Adrien to be a 'smarty, hotty, swavissimo, yummy-tastic spellbinder'. However she displays no further interest than that, for she clearly has it going with Nino, and she always has been and continues supporting Marinette's possible future love-life with Adrien. Plus, as Ladybug's fan, she focuses a lot more on Ladybug than she does on Chat Noir. She, sadly, only sees Chat to be that sidekick you would always see with Ladybug, and definitely doesn't display as much of an interest in him as in Ladybug. This is further displayed in her continuous attempts to uncover Ladybug's identity, proven in episode seven of season 1, The Pharoah, where she picks up the History textbook Ladybug dropped, as well as in episode ten of season 2, Sapotis, where she finds out that Ladybug was her age and even goes so far as to attain an app that allows her to identify voices and states how they need to find a student that's always late. She shows so much enthusiasm towards Ladybug, but not towards Chat, which shows that she isn't attracted towards him. Also, in Sapotis, the episode she becomes Rena Rouge (only temporarily though), each and every interaction between her and Chat appeared flirty, and upon watching the French version of the episode, many fans immediately assumed that Chat was attracted to her that way and was flirting with her. However, it was later explained that it wasn't the case, Chat was just being friendly in his own way: the flirty kitty way. And their conversations were far from flirty, they were purely platonic. Proving that they do not view each other in a romantic light. Hence she doesn't actually pose a threat to the love square.

Yeah, so all these girls (except Lila) doesn't deserve (some of (Chloe)) the hate they have coming their way.

#miraculous ladybug #chloe bourgeois #lila rossi #kagami tsurugi #rena rouge

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ofviixenisms · 7 years ago

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crying won’t bring the dead back to life || self para

“DEATH DOESN’T let you say goodbye. it just carves holes in your life. in your future. in your heart.”

SHE HADN’T been able to sleep the night before and so kat was in a rather bad mood the following morning. she didn’t know why she couldn’t sleep when she was so tired from quidditch practice and from school. kat had hoped though, that she could at least maybe nap after her classes today. or maybe she could skip her classes altogether and just sleep. but she knew she couldn’t get away with that, so she went off to all her classes, struggling to stay awake.

it was looking to be a rather typical day, that was, until transfiguration class. she was writing down the lesson and some pointers mcgonagall was teaching the class, when there was a knock heard on the door. the redhead didn’t look up from her notes, eyes fluttering shut as she began to doze off for a moment, only to be awaken when she heard mcgonagall speak. "miss rosier, professor dumbledore is waiting for you in his office.” that made kat frown. why in the world would dumbledore be waiting for her? she wasn’t in trouble as far as she was aware. the last time she and sterling pulled a prank was... well, ages ago. nevertheless, she packed up all of her things in her bag and walked out of the room, trying to figure out why the headmaster would want to talk to her.

upon arriving at dumbledore’s office, she was surprised to see her head of house there too. “professor snape,” she greeted with a nod, a worried frown forming between her brows. “d’you have any idea why i’m being called by professor dumbledore?”

“no idea,” he replied back, though he wasn’t looking at her before stating the password to the gargoyle and leading kat up to dumbledore’s office. much to her surprise, kyle was there along with professor flitwick too. she looked at him in confusion and he looked back at her and mouthed, i don’t know, before subtly gesturing for her to look at dumbledore.

the headmaster looked grim and kat could feel her heart pounding in her chest. “sir? what am i doing here? and kyle too?” she asked.

“miss rosier, mister rosier,” dumbledore began, giving them a sad look. “earlier this morning, your father failed to turn up at work.”

kyle frowned and glanced at his sister. “o-okay... what does that have to do with us though?” he asked, moving so he was standing beside her. it was strange, kat would admit. their father wasn’t the type to miss work. even after her mother had died, he was at work and seemed to be throwing himself into it as a way to distract himself from the pain of losing his beloved wife. the redhead was starting to get a bad feeling about this and she reached out to take kyle’s hand in hers, giving it a squeeze

dumbledore sat down behind his desk. “they had sent an owl over to your father but there wasn’t a response. your aunt evangelina and uncle alexander then went to check to see why he hadn’t responded and...” he hesitated, the usual twinkle in his eyes lost.

“and what, headmaster?” kat found herself asking in a steady voice, despite how much her hands were shaking.

“i’m sorry, children. but your father is... dead.” the room was so silent, you could hear a pin drop. kat felt like the wind was knocked out of her and she could feel her breathing becoming more and more erratic. dead. dead. dead. she felt like the room was spinning and she began to clench and unclench her hands. no, this wasn’t supposed to happen. she was supposed to have more time, wasn’t she? but... it had been a couple of weeks since she spoke to lezekiel and the reminder to write her father a letter of warning had been forgotten.

“how?” kyle asked quietly, dropping kat’s hand. “how did he die?”

“there was a bottle of wine next to his body. they have concluded that it had been a gift from someone your father knew and when checked, there was poison in the drink. they’re questioning the man who sent it to your father,” dumbledore answered. “we can make arrangements to send both of you...”

kat interrupted him, trying not to have her voice shake at the revelation that the cause of her father’s death was poison through a gift. “does kristoffer know?” she asked, referring to her twin brother who was in durmstrang. she could feel tears begin to prick the back of her eyes and she dug her nails into her skin in an attempt to stop herself from thinking about the news that had just been delivered to her and focus on the pain she felt as she kept on digging her nails into her skin. she had found that this was the easiest way to make herself stop crying, because she could focus on the physical pain and not the emotional one. your fault. your fault. your fault. her mind taunted. she dug her nails even deeper into her skin, not even wincing. the pain was enough to distract her even for a moment, from the taunting voice in her head.

“he’s being told by headmaster karkaroff,” dumbledore replied softly. “as i was saying, we can make arrangements to send the both of you with your aunt and uncle. i know this is a difficult time...”

kat shook her head. “i need air, excuse me,” she breathed out, unable to look at kyle, flitwick, snape or dumbledore and she began to make her way out of the office.

“before you go... they found this on his desk.” dumbledore took out two pieces of parchment and handed one to kat and one to kyle. kat took the parchment without a word and shoved it into her robes before she left the office, walking down the staircase as a few tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. she hastily wiped them away, keeping her head high as she began to walk to the direction of the slytherin common room. she forcefully unclenched her hands and ran her fingers over the crescent marks made by her nails on her skin and she had to try to breathe as normally as she could as she went down the hallway.

she was suddenly reminded of the time when her mother had died and she was crying because she missed her mother dearly. kat could remember her father looking at her with sadness in his eyes, but he still stood tall and proud. crying doesn’t bring the dead back to life, he had told her. and he was right; it didn’t bring her mother back. so she stopped crying with great difficult. kat had only been thirteen at the time and yet, to this day, the pain of losing her mother still hit her hard.

now though, she was eighteen and she was stronger. she was meant to be stronger, but she wasn’t strong enough to stop the tears as more and more began to roll down her cheeks. kat collapsed on the ground in the empty corridor, unable to stop the sobs as they escaped her lips. “fuck!” she screamed, hitting the ground angrily. why did this have to happen? why did she have to lose both of her parents? and why did it have to hurt so much? she never got to say goodbye to either one of them and she hated the fates for this. she hated the person responsible for this. but most of all, she hated herself the most for not taking lezekiel’s warning seriously and sent the letter to her father as soon as possible. if she could have warned him, then this could be avoided. but she didn’t and so this was all her fault. just like it was her fault for getting her mother killed five years ago.

she leaned back against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest and she felt herself just... break. whatever wall she had built, it was broken now and she found herself sobbing uncontrollably. it didn’t even matter at this point that she was crying in a place where just about anyone could walk in on her crying. she was past the point of caring. her father had just died. jasper rosier may not have been the kindest or most attentive father in the world, but he was still her father.

memories flashed through her mind of a time when she was young and he doted on her, his only daughter. how happy they were as a family when her mother had been alive as well. it was after his affair with kyle’s mother that he had begun to change. he had never been too kind on his illegitimate son and instead had left his wife to raise kyle as her own. things had taken a turn for the worse shortly after her mother died and he became a lot colder, harsher and stricter. the rosier siblings did their best to avoid their father, or at the very least, ensure that they don’t disappoint him in any way.

kat sniffled a few times before she reached into her pocket, and felt the folded parchment. she wiped at her tears with the sleeve of her robe before she took it out and began to read.

my dearest katerina,

you know as well as i that i am not good with... letters or words. but i have been talking to your uncle alexander as of late and loathe as i am to admit it, he has brought something to my attention that i am ashamed to not have noticed before. i had turned into the very person i vowed not to become: your grandfather. he was controlling and strict, yet very distant. nothing my siblings nor i do can ever make him proud. like i am towards you and your brothers. no apologies or attempts to apologize can ever make up for how i treated you, my own children, because of the loss our family suffered.

i was so lost in my grief over losing your mother that i selfishly forgot that you all were grieving too. you of all people as well, as you were the one who saw your own mother’s life being taken away. how could i be so heartless and sink so deep into the guilt and anger, that it didn’t occur to me to ever comfort you? i never wanted to show weakness towards the public and i projected that onto you, when you were just a child who needed to grieve the loss of your mother. all my life, i had been taught to keep my emotions in, and it was only with your mother i learned how to express myself. i shouldn’t have taught you the same, because it is clear that you three are so full of passion in the things you love: something only lyra could have inspired within you. i’ve only recently learned that bottling up such emotions would only result in even more hurting and i don’t ever want any of you to be hurt.

i know that you probably would not believe anything written in this letter, but i swear on your mother’s grave it is the truth. after the long talks with alexander and evangelina, i’ve realized that there’s still time for me to change. to become the father i should have always been to you three. i know, my dearest katerina, that there’s a low chance of you ever forgiving me for my absence and coldness. to ask you to forgive me, i know, would be too soon. all i could ask, is that perhaps your brothers, you and i can attempt to become a proper family once more.

i’ve begun trying to make an effort recently to be more involved in your lives and not just in your academics and i would really appreciate it if we can write more letters to one another for the rest of your school year, and you telling me more about your life and i promise to do the same with mine.

love,

dad

how could she not have seen it before? her father had been trying to make an effort for a few weeks now. it had been subtle and she never really thought much of it till the christmas break when he had begun to make an attempt in talking to his oldest children, and surprised the all of them when he tried to make small talk with kyle, whom he never really said more than two sentences to since he was a child. though it was awkward, the effort was clear. but what really got to her and caused the tears to form in her eyes once more, was the closing signature. love, dad. ever since her third year and her mother had passed over the summer, her father always signed it with a rather formal signature such as sincerely, your father or with regards, your father. but love, dad was a signature she’s never received in any of her letters since her second year at hogwarts.

how could the fates be so cruel to rip her father away from her barely five years after they took her mother from her? his death had hurt kat even more after she read the letter, because there was a chance that they could have become the family she’s always wanted. but that could never happen now because he was gone and he was never coming back.

the redhead folded the letter once more and placed it back in her pocket. there were tear tracks staining her face and her green eyes were now red and puffy from the crying, but they glinted with murderous rage and steely determination. whatever sentence the person responsible for her father’s murder would receive wouldn’t be enough. simply tossing them in azkaban wasn’t enough to compensate for her family’s loss. she wanted the person responsible to suffer as her family is suffering and she would make them regret ever making a move against the rosiers.

because katerina rosier was her father’s daughter: just as strong, intelligent, powerful, cunning and deadly. anything she set her mind to, no matter how impossible it may be, she would make it happen. and right now, the only desire she has is for revenge.

#( * ☆ 🔥 the girl has always been half goddess and half hell┊self para. )#death mention tw

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romanoartsless · 7 years ago

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Like I've said before, school started up for me a few weeks ago so I've been very busy but here's the next update! Again the one after this will take a while for me to get done due to school, sorry about that.

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Chapter 40

Very few people ever got the pleasure to see Gideon Victor Warren cry. Serephina was one of those people. Serephina was one of those people. She sat on the floor, in front of him, wiping his now ruined makeup off his face. He looked dead with the subtle grey tone to his complexion. “Don’t cry over him, Gideon.”

“He’s been missing for three days, Sere! You know your brother! You know he has suicidal tendencies! He could be dead, he could’ve killed himself-.”

“Gideon!” She ran her fingers through his long, dark brown hair as she stared straight into his eyes. “Gideon. This is why you can’t be leaving me . You get close to people who are mentally unstable. Crispin, Amber Lynn, look at what it does to you. Those lunatics are making you cry. Listen to me, Gideon. I know what’s best for you- for us.”

“But-.”

“No buts. I know what’s good for us. I’m a Petrov, listen to me. Say it after me, Sere knows best.”

“No, Sere listen-.”

“Sere knows best.”

And he meant it. He was sick of the pain others cause him. He should’ve listened to Sere. Gods, why didn’t he listen to Sere?! But he’d crawl back to them eventually, he always did. They’d manipulate him into leaving Sere just like always. Sere loved him. Sere would never do that to him.

“Gideon, I was worried sick about you. You were out for a whole day straight looking for Crispin. I was terrified! I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Tears began to well up in her Petrov green eyes. “I would kill myself if I didn’t have you. I love you, Gideon.”

He knelt down onto the floor next to Serephina, wiping the tears from her eyes like she had done for him only minutes before. The two of them now sat on the floor, mascara running down their faces. A smile cracked across Gideon’s face. “I love you, too, Sere.”

“Of course you do, Gideon. Of course you do.”

* * *

Crispin repeated his sisters’ names as his fingers ran through her dark hair. Anything to keep his mind off the fact he was this close to Blackwing Crow. If he imagined the long raven hair belonged to any of the nine of them, his face wouldn’t turn into a bright red orb. “So tell me,” she began, “how do you know how to braid hair?”

“Blackwing, I have nine sisters.”

“Touché!”

Crispin wanted to milk spending his time with Blackwing as long as he could. He knew she’d make him go back eventually, and he knew it was the right thing to do, but he wanted to simmer in her presence.

Once he had finished braiding her hair, the two of them decided it would be a good idea to go put on makeup. Just another excuse for Crispin to waste time with her. They found a drawer full of likely decades old makeup and played with it like children. No mention of fathers or abuse or self loathing, just two people sitting on a bed, acting like the world around them didn’t exist.

“Oh gods,” Blackwing said as she looked in the mirror, “this lipstick is awful. If I were to kiss someone it’d look like I just punched them in the mouth.”

“And who has had the pleasure of having Blackwing Crow punch them in the mouth?”

“Wait, kiss them or literally punch them? Because if it’s the latter, it’s a larger number.”

“Kiss.”

“Oh. Well, about that…”

“Come on. I’ve shared my shit. Nothing can be worse than what I’ve been through.”

And it was true, but she couldn’t help but mumble what she was saying.

“I’ll tell you about my first kiss then. I was eleven. You want to know who it was? Saturday fucking Ranez. As much as she hates me now, she had the biggest crush on me when we were kids. She came in and-.”

“I’ve never kissed anyone!”

“You’ve never kissed anyone?!”

Blackwing blushed intensely. It wasn’t something to be embarrassed about, but in Novak, people did everything young. A typical Novan her age would be married with a kid or two. “No.”

“We all start off as kiss-virgins. Someday you’ll-.”

“Wait wait wait. A kiss-virgin? What in the world is a kiss-virgin?”

“A kiss-virgin. Someone who’s never been kissed. It’s really quite simple.”

“I’ve never heard anyone say that before.”

“Well, now you have. Blackwing Crow is a certified kiss-virgin.”

“What if I don’t want to be a certified not kiss-virgin?”

“Lay one on someone, then you’ll be a certified not-kiss-virgin. Take it from me, a real life not-kiss-virgin.”

“Wow, revolutionary advice, kiss someone and you’ll have kissed someone. I would’ve never thought of that,” she said in a sarcastic manner.

Crispin laughed at her comment and Blackwing couldn’t help but notice how his laugh sounded like a cry for help, like years of pain being pushed down so far the only time they came up was disguised by a chuckle. She wanted to know what his real one sounded like. One that wasn’t marinated in sorrow. One that truly came from immense happiness.

When a few minutes in silence passed, Blackwing broke it by saying, “You should head home.”

“But-.”

Your friends and family are probably worried sick. Especially with what you’ve done in the past…”

It was obvious she was talking about his attempted suicides. If he was being honest, he hadn’t even been thinking about what other people might’ve been thinking when he ran. He didn’t care what his father or sisters might think- they would never care if he was dead or not- but he did care about his mother or Thomas or Gideon might think. What if they thought he was dead? What if they thought he would never come back? Oh gods.

He began to lean in closer to her, but stopped when he noticed her body going stiff. They were so close Blackwing could feel his breath on her face. “Shit sorry, I should’ve asked,” he whispered into her ear. “Can I kiss your cheek?”

Her face was dark ruby at this point. His voice in her ear sent chills down her spine and a strange indescribable feeling filled her stomach. She nodded and seconds later his lips were on her cheek. The feeling in her stomach suddenly intensified. Now she understood why people in romance novels wanted to vomit.

Crispin buttoned up his purple guard’s jacket over his white shirt. Blackwing made herself not look, no matter how much her eyes wanted to peak. “Goodbye my dearest love,” he said in a mockingly romantic tone, kissing the top of her hand.

The red in her face went two shades darker. She placed her hand onto the spot where his lips were on her cheek, waving him goodbye with the other. “Bye,” was all she could mutter before he made his way out to go back home.

* * *

Gideon left Serephina back in the living room when he went to open the door. The last person he expected to see was Crispin, but nonetheless, he stood there in the doorframe. He was slammed the door behind him, not wanting Serephina to catch on that her brother was here. “Crispin!”

Without a second thought, he pulled Crispin down to his level and passionately kissed him. Crispin pulled away, yelling, “Gideon!”

“I was worried sick about you, I thought you might’ve tried to kill yourself again-.”

“Then why the fuck did you kiss me?!”

“Crispin, I realized I still love you. Take me back. I’m in love with you.”

“We broke up! We’re done! Do you remember what you said to me?! Why we broke up?! Because I do!”

“I’m sorry, Crispin!”

“You know what else you said? You said you wouldn’t pressure me into sex, but what did you have to go and fucking do?” His emerald eyes flooded with tears. Gideon reached his hand out to Crispin’s, trying to comfort him, but he pulled it away to wipe his own tears. “You got drunk one night and tried to fuck me! Remember what you said to me? Remember?!”

Gideon mumbled, still riddled with guilt for the words Crispin was referring to.

“Well do you?!”

“If you loved me you’d have sex with me. That’s what I said!”

“Exactly! When you said you still wanted to be with me despite my lack of sexual attraction, you don’t understand how much that meant to me. You took the time to to understand me and listen to me- I thought you could’ve been the one.”

The words hit Gideon like knives to his heart. He wanted to go back in time and slap his past self across the face. Tell him Crispin loves- loved him.

“I loved you,” Crispin continued, “and I thought you loved me and everything about me, but I guess you didn’t. And I still care about you, but I don’t know if we can do that again- if I can do that again. We just weren’t made for that kind of relationship. I’m sorry.”

Gideon wanted to reach out to Crispin as his back turned to him, walking away from him. “Crispin,” he cried. “Crispin, I’m sorry. Please.”

But he didn’t turn around. He didn’t even glance at him. Never in his life had he wanted to look into Petrov eyes more. His. Crispin’s. Her’s. Not her’s. Not her. Not Sere. Sere.

“Gideon.” He whipped around and saw Serephina’s face peeking through the door. “Gideon honey, are you alright?”

The tears that formed in his baby blue eyes couldn’t trickle down his cheeks. Serephina came all the way out of the house and wrapped her arms around him. “Don’t let them get to you, my Gideon. Sere knows best.”

“Sere knows best.”

Chapter 41

Caterina wanted to focus, but that one sentence kept replaying in her mind. I remember so vividly his red eyes just staring at me sitting there.

She couldn’t keep her mind on her files. All that ever came to mind was that one sentence had said. He was right about the genetics of it- coincidences were more common in twins, but she couldn’t help but wonder if it maybe it wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe he was her soul partner. Maybe, just maybe. But her magic wasn’t stronger around him. There were always loopholes to keep her hopes up.

They weren’t close- yet. The bond might have set in. Recently she had felt strange whenever she thought of him. She’d think of him and feel nauseous. The feelings only started in the days before when Thomas had told her about his past. This must’ve been the closeness of the soul partner bond sinking in. There was no other explanation.

The sudden thought to search through his file hit her. She knew it was somewhere in her growing stack and felt euphoria when her eyes landed on the words Dubroin, Thomas. Searching for a sign of any unnatural physical ability, she scanned through the file. Nothing. There was nothing. Frustration fueled her in the moment.

She walked out of her room, going to the mantelpiece, resting her head on her arms as she stared into her mother’s eyes from the photo before her. “Give me an explanation, mom. Give me a clue. It can be anything. Anything. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be stranded anymore.”

* * *

Blood. So much blood. It ran down every wall. But was it even blood? It was black. The room did reach of metal and decomposition though. When Caterina turned her head to the left, she was met with her mother, with infected black eyes and the same black liquid from the walls dripping from her mouth, so close to her she could feel her animalistic breathing on her face. “You wanted an explanation.”

The infection in the form of her mother disappeared into a black mist and a hand fell on Caterina’s shoulder. Her head whipped around and met with wholly black eyes again. “Here’s your explanation.”

Caterina suddenly felt a warm liquid pouring from her eyes. When she lifted her hand and wiped it away, she looked down and saw whatever was on her hand and came out of her eyes was pitch black. “What does this mean?”

Her head was pulled back so far she was surprised her neck didn’t just snap in half. Black liquid dripped on her face from her mother’s mouth. “Come with me and find out,” she said in an inhuman, echoing voice that wasn’t her own.

Something pulled Caterina’s arm harder than any human could. She screamed in pain, her eyes closing as tight as they could. When her eyes opened, she wasn’t even sure she had really opened them since where she was now was pitch black. “Hello,” she called out.

No. No. She looked up and saw emerald eyes that made her wish she was never born. “Infect yourself, Caterina. Find him. Find me.”

Caterina woke up in a hot sweat on the couch with the photo of her mother on her stomach. She threw the picture onto the nearby table and ran into the kitchen. She took a knife off the counter and, as she fell on the floor, cut open the palm of her hand. When the blood ran red, she laughed, staring as it dripped down her arm.

She felt like she was just watching herself from across the room instead of actually existing in her own body. She just sat on the floor, knife in her left hand while her right one was left bleeding. While the puddle of crimson liquid formed beside her, Caterina laughed as though her favorite joke had just been told.

Her fingers played in the puddle of blood and smeared it all over her face. She wasn’t even thinking anymore. Infection dreams always did this to her. She sometimes wondered if infecting herself would answer all of the questions she had in life.

She took the knife in her hand again, blade side up, and squeezed it as hard as she could. No screams of pain came out of her mouth, only sadistic laughs. “No!” she screamed as the door opened and a bright flash of light hit her face.

Terrified brown eyes landed on her, running to her in the corner, not caring about the blood that would surely stain her dress. “Jackie! Caterina’s having one of her moments!”

Jackie stormed through the door, digging through her bag as she did. When she pulled out the vial of blue liquid, Caterina began kicking and screaming. But Blackwing, soon after her Caterina’s fit began, put her into a headlock so tight that any wrong movement by Caterina might cause her neck to break. Jackie knelt beside her sister and Caterina and popped the cap of the vial off, trying to force the liquid into Caterina’s mouth. Her mouth stayed locked shut when Jackie brought the vial close to it. “Drink it!” she shouted in her face.

Caterina went to yell, “No!” back at her, but, with a smile on her face, Jackie forced the the liquid into her mouth. She wanted to spit it out, but Blackwing held her jaw shut, forcing her to swallow. In only seconds, Caterina’s black eyes rolled back in her head as she fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

When she opened her eyes and tried to stand up off the floor, Caterina was stopped by Blackwing’s sleeping body draped over her. She shot up out of her sleep when she realized she was awake. “Caterina!” she said, throwing her arms around her neck.

“Hi Blackwing,” she said back, returning the embrace.

Blackwing pulled her away and she met her with her now crying chocolate eyes. “I think you had another one of your infection dreams.” She pushed Caterina’s violet hair out of her face as she spoke. “You tend to disassociate after those.” Blackwing picked up the hand Caterina had cut open and left bleeding. “Jackie stitched this up. We don’t need you bleeding out, do we?”

Caterina always swore if any smile could bring world peace it would be Blackwing’s. The smile she held now was no different. She had it on her face to bring up Caterina’s spirits. And it worked. It always worked.

It all ended when the door swung open. Bright blue eyes landed, not on Caterina, but Blackwing. Rage. More rage that humanly possible filled Edith’s eyes. She ran towards her, her mallet in hand, and Caterina froze.

When Edith pulled Blackwing off of her by her hair and yelled, “Why aren’t you dead?!” at her, Caterina couldn’t do anything. Her mind screamed at her to use her magic to stop Edith, but her body froze. Blackwing. Blackwing.

“Get your hands off my sister.”

Jackie.

“What are you going to do with me if I don’t?”

“Kill you.”

“You will? How will you explain that Edith Delikov, technical head of the Delikov family, is missing? They’ll come looking for me. They’ll find your little cabin and me dead in it. You can’t do anything to me without your cover being blown. It’d be a suicide mission. I, on the other hand, can do whatever I want to you three and face absolutely zero consequences. Zero!”

The Crows, especially Jackie, would always interrogate her as to why she never stood up to Edith. That was why. No matter how much she wanted to, Caterina could never lay a finger on her. Edith would always have power over her. She had status. She was a member of a high family. Caterina was a weed to Edith’s rose.

Jackie kept her pistol at her side, but Caterina knew she’d bring it back into play if she wanted to. Edith bent down back to Blackwing, blocking out the other two in the room. “You’re the mystery girl, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?” Blackwing whimpered.

“You’re the one who killed Vladimir. I didn’t mean for Amber Lynn Ranez to get into this mess. I told him what you look like: not really ugly, but not really pretty, long black hair, big brown eyes oblivious to all the misery in the world. But I guess they aren’t, because you killed him to protect that sorry excuse for a high lady.”

The Crow’s eyebrows furrowed as an anger Caterina had never seen on her face grew. “Are you trying to vilify me? If you are, it won’t work. They already know I did. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“You know, I’ve never killed anyone in my entire life.”

“And yet I’m still a better person than you.”

“Blackwing!” Caterina finally chimed in. “Don’t provoke her,” she mouthed.

Fury was in her dark eyes when she turned to her. “Let me fend for myself,” Blackwing mouthed back at her.

Caterina couldn’t tell if the emotion boiling in herself was pride or horror. Blackwing was fighting for herself, but it was against Edith. One wrong word and Edith wouldn’t hesitate to take out her mallet and beat her until her life flashed before her eyes.

The mallet went into the air and, without a second thought, Caterina threw herself in front of its aim. When it collided into her the Crows screamed. “Caterina!” Blackwing yelled as she went to cradle Caterina’s body.

“I’m sorry,” she coughed out. “I know you wanted to protect yourself, but I can’t let you hurt yourself.”

The sound of clapping began behind them. Caterina managed to maneuver over enough to see it came from Edith. “Look at you,” she said. “A happy little family. Being there for your kin.” But there was something in her face and tone that was off. She held a tinge of pain- of jealousy.

As much as Caterina despised Edith for the suffering she caused her, she empathized with her desire for love. But she would never excuse her bringing the Crows into this. This was her and Edith’s feud, their fight because of Victor. The Crows never even met him. The Crows did nothing to spite Edith.

With a smirk on her face, Caterina lifted her hand in the air and cut off the air going into Edith’s lungs. Her freckled face began to turn the same color as her family color. Caterina brought back the air right before the lady could go unconscious. Completely taking everyone off guard by changing the subject Caterina asked, “So how’s Silvertongue?”

Confused but furious blue eyes looked down at her, still in Blackwing’s arms. Pushing a strand of her red hair out of her face, she simply replied, “Fine.”

The simple word hurt in different ways. Not only was it confirmation that Silvertongue had run to Edith, but that she was going on with ease without Caterina. She knew it wasn’t a lie because with how little time it took her to reply, she couldn’t have conjured up a false story. “You should’ve never brought the Crows into our… our relationship.”

“They got brought into it the moment you made them, witch.”

Edith turned around, her red hair flowing behind her as she walked out the door, it slamming behind her. “I’m going to fucking killed her,” Jackie finally cut in.

“Jackie!” Caterina yelled as loud as she could in her pain. “Leave her be.”

“Why?! Why should we?! Look at what she does to you! To us! She’s been doing this for years!”

“Don’t you remember what she said? She’s right. If we kill her the court will come hunting. They’ll find us. They’ll kill us.”

“Then I’ll kill her when I’m out in the town.”

“You’re not in Novan records! They’ll investigate. They’ll still find us. There’s a clear power dynamic with Edith no matter what we do. Killing her is a suicide mission.”

“But-.”

“No buts. We can’t do anything to her.”

Blackwing came back in. “She does everything to us, though.”

“Trust me, Blackwing,” Caterina said, “I know.”

#in coming years #icy web series #romanowritesless

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misscaller-blog · 6 years ago

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THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE This is a questionnaire and personality test popularised by the writer Marcel Proust; this version in particular is Vanity Fair’s. It is answered in third person, in character.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Possibly, but not decisively, the solitude at the bottom of the ocean or a swimming pool. This is a difficult question to answer for someone who has never experienced perfect happiness, and is unlikely to ever experience it ever.

2. What is your greatest fear? (Trigger warning: alcohol.) Oblivion. In general, Chelsea fears oblivion far more than death. At the very least, death is some kind of ending. Oblivion leaves too many unanswered questions.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? She despises everything about herself, so it’s difficult to choose. Anything she inherited from her mother’s blood.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Possibly as a side effect of being Iona’s child, she deplores incivility. Despite her family name (including all its unfortunate allegiances and the unspeakable parts of its history) and the Wrath’s general politics, Iona believed that racism and sexism lay at the heart of all broken societies, and tended to use her cheque book in order to fund candidates that believed the same.

5. Which living person do you most admire? She learned about ‘golden idols’ at an early age and accordingly tends to avoid admiring anyone.

6. What is your greatest extravagance? Purchasing new plants for her conservatory at the thieves’ headquarters and Turkish coffee.

7. What is your current state of mind? Chels would call it ‘unclouded’, not a stray thought in her head.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Absolutely obedience. Following the commands of other people has made nothing but trouble for her despite her being promised otherwise.

9. On what occasion do you lie? It really depends on what you define as a ‘lie’. Chelsea was raised to believe that occasional white lies are not only allowable but necessary, and that is a mostly unshakeable habit. (She’s cultivated a reputation for always being the one to tell you your new haircut looks perfect when you’re in tears because it’s lopsided, a surprising but necessary softness.) Her profession is built on lies, she tells at least a few a day by way of omission. Lying doesn’t bother her in the way it did when she sat in the pews with Iona and Easton and wept at the trials of Job. No one’s struck her down for doing it yet, anyway.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? She hates having an appearance at all. Her beauty, however immense and ephemeral, has done little for her except make her suffer, and she finds the way people look to be at the root of their suffering — an unwitting extension of her mother’s own beliefs on broken societies.

11. Which living person do you most despise? Chelsea would hate this question. She would want to say, with absolute certainty, Iona Whichillow, the originator of both ‘icy’ and ‘hot’, but in her heart, she knows that isn’t true. Someone made Iona like that, even if that someone was nature, or God. So who she most despises has to be that person. You don’t kill Hydra by chopping off only one of its heads.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man? She has maybe five points of reference for men in total: her biological father, Easton, the boys from the Wrath she tangled with, the Wrath’s men in general, and Roman [and whichever roles on the heist group are filled by characters that are male-identifying]. She likes Roman’s foolishness. She hasn’t found the right word for it. Wispiness, maybe. He feels rounded and complex. If she tends to strike him harder than she would anyone else, it’s because she knows he can take it, round things can stand to lose an edge or two, it only makes them rounder.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? Unbridled rage. Full stop, unquestioningly.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Chelsea tends to say ‘as the Good Lord intended’ much more often than the average person, particularly in response to something gone sideways. And, of course, ‘bless your heart’, though she’s tried to cut it from her vocabulary entirely. In the beginning of her time with Roman’s crew, she used it enough to betray her origins, but now she’s stopped using it with such abandon.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? Freedom. Which she would hate saying aloud, but it’s true.

16. When and where were you happiest? ‘Happiest’ is definitely easier to measure than ‘perfect happiness’, but the answer is not any easier. Objectively, she was happiest in the Wrath, six years old sat on Iona’s lap in the library, small palms on her mother’s cheeks so she wouldn’t cry; eight years old in the Garden in white, watching Easton promise to love and cherish Iona eternally; eleven and kissing Savoir-Faire’s soft, cold black ears; fourteen and helping Sutton walk across the conservatory so she could show her a ladybird on the window. It was easier before she knew she was raised to be her mother’s sacrifice. Her unending joy was what made her so beautiful then.

17. Which talent would you most like to have? She would like to be very flexible and acrobatic, like Hazel. Her joints just don’t work that way, and her cartwheels are lacking in form.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? This, like any other ‘if’ question, is something Chelsea would loathe answering. ‘If’ is pointless. She doesn’t get to change what she would most like to change. And anyway, that thing is someone else, so the whole question is ridiculous and unnecessary.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? She’ll throw Roman a bone: running her fingers along the edge of Shakespeare’s First Folio.

(Trigger warning: death.) 20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A palm tree on some untouched desert island, alone with the waves until the sun blots out the sky and fire rains down and the world comes to an end. Something eternal until tragedy strikes, much like herself as a human.

21. Where would you most like to live? On that untouched desert island with a palm tree. She’ll drink coconut water and learn to spear fish from shallow waters. It would be good for her. Alternatively, in a cave, high up in the mountains.

22. What is your most treasured possession? Her name. ‘Chelsea Caller’. It sounds so pretty, doesn’t it? It’s the most beautiful thing she lets touch her at the moment. (The Spy, her wardrobe, and stolen masterpieces excluded. So more accurately only the fourth most beautiful thing. She’ll bump it up a few spots.)

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Being chained to an unlucky and unloved, deeply haunted place. Kentucky.

24. What is your favorite occupation? Her own, ‘thief’. Possibly, also, ‘getaway driver’. Chelsea watched that Ryan Gosling movie with hers. It was all so very exciting.

25. What is your most marked characteristic? Her beauty, beyond any shadow of doubt, and also, her immense hatred of it. So: that she is all contradiction, ‘icyhot’.

26. What do you most value in your friends? She prefers friends who don’t ask too many questions about and things of her. Loyalty is also appreciated, but betrayals of it, especially in the profession all her friends belong in, are understandable.

27. Who are your favorite writers? Sappho, Anaïs Nin, Zadie Smith, Flannery O’Connor, Barbara Kruger, Pablo Neruda, Mahmoud Darwish, Ocean Vuong, Anne Carson. Chelsea’s authorial education is endless; she’s always discovering new writers she approaches with an insatiable hunger. Her subscriptions to the New Yorker and the Atlantic are indulgences she won’t ever give up.

28. Who is your hero of fiction? Any lovers, in any work of fiction, in any time. Such a brave, stupid thing they’re doing.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Cleopatra VII Philopator. Helen of Troy. Juana Galán. Chelsea Caller.

30. Who are your heroes in real life? She doesn’t have heroes in the same way she doesn’t have idols. They’re two sides of the same coin, really, both are unnecessary.

31. What are your favorite names? She likes the name Chelsea. And slangy, well-thought out nicknames. She lived with a model from São Luís for a few months shortly after leaving the Wrath and moving to New York, and was given the Portuguese equivalent of ‘greyhound’ as her only-acknowledged name: Galgo.

32. What is it that you most dislike? This would be a difficult question for Chelsea to answer. The most earnest approach would be for her to say ‘the phrase ‘the root of all evil’ and the concept of ‘evil’ and people who are evil.’ but accuracy might be lost. Perhaps just ‘ignorance and cruelty, especially when mixed together.’

33. What is your greatest regret? Her greatest ambition is to rid herself of guilt, and thus of regret. That being said, her entire childhood is steeped in the stuff, she wishes she could go back and warn the sunny-eyed girl what was coming and tell her to avert her eyes and not to run.

(Trigger warning: death.) 34. How would you like to die? Gloriously and in as little pain as possible, though those things seem to be mutually exclusive.

35. What is your motto? ‘Absolute beauty is boring.’

#d.

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straykpop · 8 years ago

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I’m Ready To Breathe - Short Malec Fic

He couldn’t fathom.

Alec couldn’t fathom the fact that he was lost. In space, in time, in his mind. He was gone. Dust. Air. He’s physically with it, but his mind is a desert island. It’s so unfilled.

He was scared. He didn’t know how to react to feeling and thinking nothing. What does one do when they’ve lost the ability to come to conclusions? When they’ve lost the ability to process their actions. When they feel mentally... powerless?

“I... have have to go.” Alec breathed out to Izzy as she watched his brain unscrew.

“Where to?”

“Magnus. I have to go to Magnus. I need to feel something.”

“Alec, you know that mother was just being the stern person she’s always been. Don’t take her words to heart, I’m still here.” Izzy explain with an emotion filled expression taking over her face. He knew she cared about him, he just had to get away from the place that participated in the scene that was just caused.

“I know. I know you are... I just can’t be here right now.”

Izzy held her breath and Alec could see through her straight expression that she wanted to deepen the topic of comfort. But she didn’t. She simply nodded her head.

Alec gave her a quick nod of appreciation for giving him space and he left the institute without another word spoken.

----------

Magnus was sorting through his necklaces when he heard the knock on the door. It was subtle and light. The three knocks that were demonstrated possessed a simple pattern. Something Magnus could recognize every time.

It was Alec.

Magnus dropped what he was doing instantly and headed towards the door. He took a deep breath before he opened it, then did it with one swift motion.

“Alexander.”

Magnus knew right off the bat that something was wrong. Alec’s face was flushed and his eyes looked heavy. His cheeks shined with red and his posture was weak. Alec had been crying, and Magnus needed to know why.

“Hey. I-uh... want to talk.” Alec stuttered out, his face still as blank as his mind.

“Why of course, sit down dear.”

Alec dropped his jacket to the ground and walked to the couch knowing that Magnus wouldn’t mind, and he didn’t. He was far too concerned with what Alec was feeling rather than what he was doing.

“It’s my mother.”

“Figures, Maryse is insufferable.”

“I needed to get out of that place. I needed to be somewhere where I felt safe.” Alec mumbled, but he couldn’t be more clear.

“So you came here. You can talk to me. Always.” Magnus expressed as he sat down next to Alec, offering him a comforting hand on his thigh. He wanted to show his love without it being too much, knowing that the main focus was Alec and why he was hurting, not their relationship.

“She told me that I’m hurting the family name. I’m breaking honor and I’m stripping all aspects of loyalty.”

Magnus was about to chime in, until Alec turned to him with a face of... actually, Magnus couldn’t tell. Alec looked so lost. It scared him.

“I don’t understand why everything has to be so planned all the time. What on earth ever happened to plot twists?” Alec tried to joke, but both him and Magnus knew what the topic was at hand.

“Why did she say those things, if I may ask.”

Alec paused. Magnus saw his walls tearing down through his beautiful hazel eyes. Alec was afraid.

“She... she was referring to you. To my interest in you.” Alec muttered with a single tear falling down his cheek. Magnus instantaneously reached out to whip the tear away. A tear that represented not only heartache, but fear.

“You listen to me loud and clear when I say this. Just because you chose to confide in someone your mother doesn’t approve of, doesn’t make you any less of a man you are. You’re outstanding. The qualities you obtain never fail to bring surprise to my everyday life.” Magnus couldn’t have shown anymore emotion than he was now. It was physically impossible. His love was never ending and when he talked to Alec, every inch of his soul was just as involved as he was.

“I didn’t just choose to confide in you, I chose to love you.” Alec paused. “... I don’t regret it, despite the hatred that’s being thrown at me.”

“Alexander, don’t misinterpret poor judgment as hate. As much as I loathe your mother, I know what kind of women she is. She’s all about family. Give her time.”

Alec held his stare with Magnus and never once broke contact. Everything in this world was just so damn confusing for him, but Magnus seemed to be the only thing that was clear.

“As for the first part of what you said... just know that when I put my love in you, it was all selfless. I didn’t know what you had to offer on your part and it didn’t matter, because I only wanted what was best for you. If you chose to stay in hiding, or go through with the wedding, I would’ve still loved you. Nothing can break what I feel for you. Not even all the magic in the world.” Magnus couldn’t be more vulnerable than he was within this moment. His admiration for Alec was burning through the walls that were built around his heart, and pouring out of his mouth like a waterfall.

“Now I will admit... you loving me back is a fantastic feeling, and I’m really soaking it up.” Magnus chuckled and Alec let out a smirk, which made Magnus melt.

“How could I not love you?” Alec put his hand to Magnus’ face and let his thumb stroke his cheek. “You’re magical. Not just because your a warlock, that actually has nothing to do with what I’m saying. You’re just... you’re so out of this world. I’ve never met someone like you. Someone so powerful yet so graceful. You won me over the first time I met you, I just didn’t know how to let myself accept something for me.”

Magnus saw it. He finally saw a specific emotion spread across Alec’s face and it looked like his mind was finally working again. Like he wasn’t trapped in emptiness. Like he knew what to think again. It was all love. Every ounce of it.

“And I’m glad you did, Alexander. You deserve to let yourself feel and grow on your own terms. I’m just forever grateful that you chose to show yourself through me.”

With that, Alec’s other hand reached out to Magnus’ face and he leaned in to find his lips. Alec wanted the sentiment, and he craved to find it in Magnus.

As their lips connected, the kiss screamed passion. It wasn’t fast. It possessed meaning that no words could ever explain. No tongues dared to enter each others mouths, their lips just danced in a steady rhythm. It was almost choreographed, they way their lips knew what to do with one another’s.

Magnus gripped onto the small of Alec’s back, holding him for dear life. The kiss only lasted for a brief moment, but with that simple action, they felt as if their relationship was being described. All the desire, all the want, it was evident.

They both pulled apart slowly and together. Their foreheads leaned against one another’s as Alec’s mouth formed into a smile.

“Stay here with me.” Magnus breathed out, his voice almost getting caught up in his breath.

“I can’t say no to you.” Alec let out, finally understanding what he needed. He needed all that Magnus offered. No words from his mother or stereotypes that follow his family name could lead him away from knowing and desiring that. All he cared about was that he was with the one person he’ll love forever.

He was finally ready to breathe.

#Malec #malec fanfiction #fanfiction #malec au #magnus bane #alec lightwood #matthew daddario #matt daddario #harry shum jr #Shadowhunters #sh #shadowhunters fanfiction #fanfic #au #isabelle lightwood #izzy lightwood #emeraude toubia #maryse lightwood

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arastiia · 8 years ago

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name of your muse: Satsuki Kiryuin

few pictures you like best of your muse’s fc:

two headcanons you have for your muse that you never told anyone:

Satsuki actually cut her hair short TWICE in her life. The first time was supposed to mark the beginning of her ‘crusade’ / active plotting again her mother -- after overcoming her grief (triggered by her father’s death) & coming to terms with the fact that her mother was not her ‘friend’ but TRULY the monster Soichiro had warned her about, young Kiryuin, hardly eight years old, chopped her long hair off with a blunt kitchen knife (Bakuzan was yet to heavy to be wielded or drawn) down to chin length. Given her lacking strength, the cut hair looked rather ungainly & enraged Ragyo GREATLY (what indirectly prompted her second scar). -- back then, Satsuki secretly swore that she would never shorten her mane again UNTIL her father & dead baby sister would find peace at last. This resulted in her hair having an approx. length of 110-115 cm during the events of KLK. Later & after the events of the OVA (episode 25), Satsuki cut her hair down to chinlength once more. This time to signify the actual end of her ‘war’. In both cases, the traditional ‘cutting of hair’ of course also refered to the end of an old life & the start of a new one.

Satsuki has a hard time finding/picking fitting clothes for herself post-KLK; having been ‘forced’ to wear uniforms since the day she entered junior high, Satsuki never truly showed any interest in clothing & fashion per se. To her, it is merely a means to an end (visble in the way she adresses Junketsu) & perhaps even a symbol of oppression since Ragyo some day decided to make her wear form-fitting attire only -- with now having a free choice, Satsuki appears LOST more oft than not. In fact, Nonon Jakuzure oftentimes ends up helping her with general outfits which is probably the reason why she feels best whenever drapped in suits or other business clothing. Most of her attire is loose, plain, neat & concealing. -- she furthermore developed an aversion to any form of tight fabric.

three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Reading. Having been a fan of books since her father died, Satsuki can rarely be seen without any form of heavy literature or novel in her free time. Aside from common, anthropologic & philosophic novels, Satsuki is also a cherisher of European 18th/19th century works (late classicism, Enlightenment, early Romanticism, Romanticism) & of course Asian literature/history. The first applies to her sense of rationality/rationalism but also introduces the idea of a more humanitarian approach & plenty of philosophical mindsets (sensitization, etc) which she studies for the sake of ‘becoming more human’ / ‘getting a better understanding. The latter is something she does for her leisure. Satsuki is a clandestine fan of history drama/poetry after all.

Sparring/Training/Meditating. A hobby frequented back in Honnouji & her entire childhood in general. Whenever Satsuki had time to spare, she would pick up Bakuzan &/ or bamboo swords/other training weapons for the sake of perfecting her skill (learning how to dual wield,etc). She could also often be seen training with Gamagori (melee techniques) & Jakuzure (weaponized combat with smaller & lighter swords) when her sensei was not around. After the events of KLK, Satsuki started ‘reviving’ that hobby as soon as her body allowed that much. Especially meditating provided some relaxion & inner rest (post-OVA). Physical training itself generated distraction, established a new routine (which she direly needed after losing Honnouji/her purpose) & exhaustion which furthermore (sometimes) helped her to find sleep. It is, however, safe to say that she dropped sparring / training after becoming CEO of REVOCs (lacking time & physical impairments being the biggest reasons) -- Ryuko is in fact the only one she nowadays spares with.

Cooking. Something that may indeed come off as surpising; after the events of KLK, Satsuki invested quite some time in rebuilding her relationship to her butler Soroi (so as to no longer see him as a servant but more as the father-figure he has been all along). This resulted in both often cooking meals together in the afternoon / morning whenever Satsuki’s condition allowed that much. Since Kiryuin lacks general knowledge about said matter, she gladly spent her time with learning all Soroi had to offer.

seven people that your muse loves/likes: Soichiro Kiryuin, Ryuko Matoi ( @matoiii & @vcgabcnd ), Nonon Jakuzure ( @gloriatiia ), Shiro Iori ( @alsuetiius ), Ira Gamagori ( @moralistiius ), Uzu Sanageyama, Houka Inumuta & Aikuro Mikisugi ( @iuvelatiius ).

two things your muse regrets:

Manipulating / Hurting Ryuko. Albeit knowing far too well that her sister does not bear any grudges, the mere idea of being the one responsible for a lot of sibling’s misery oft makes looking at cherished other rather difficult. To her, the act of actually ‘molding’ / manipulating (& thus abusing) Ryuko into shape equals the cruel atrocities Ragyo committed (after all that was exactly what her mother did to her aswell). -- it is a thing she will probably never truly forgive herself no matter how adamant Ryuko is when it comes down to letting this ‘debt’ drop.

Abusing Those Close to Her. Satsuki moreover truly regrets treating especially her devas so poorly. Even if she is aware that neglected favoritism & deconstructed platonic bonds ensured her elite’s survival during Ragyo’s reign, the fact that she prompted (i.e) Sanageyama’s self-mutilating, Gamagori’s suicide attempt & Jakuzure’s minority complex still haunts her. Of course she is aware of her devas’ opinions in that matter (& gladly accepts them). -- it does however not lower the amount of remorse she feels for dragging all five of them & the rest of Honnouji through the dirt. Partially the reason why Satsuki spends a lot of time with ensuring former students’ furture & well-being by the help of her inherited wealth & why she decided to lead a rebuilt REVOCs in the first place. -- to pay for her / her family’s sins & re-establish the lives she indirectly destroyed.

one phobia your muse has:

Fear of Failure. Despite always having been confident/dead-set & determined when it came down to her ambitions, Satsuki had her moments of doubt in the past. The fear of not being able to heed her father’s call, fear of not being strong enough to keep carrying on, fear of breaking due to Ragyo’s acts of violence. In fact, Satsuki was afraid of failing, afraid what would happen if her spine would break beneath the figurative weight of the world -- she never let it show, never let it get the better of her but the looming sentiment of doubt / ‘what if-scenarios’ always existed in the back of her head (pre- / during KLK).

Fear of Becoming like her Mother. Not truly a phobia but definitely a FEAR worth mentioning. This sort of anxiety already took root after escaping captivity. After being forced to confront herself with the atrocities committed, Satsuki realized that she had been no better than her loathed mother. Ragyo’s entire influence & the fact that she applied HER METHODS (mostly in a figurative sense) kept on haunting her even after her apology & the following acceptance on Ryuko’s/Devas’ behalf. -- this of course got worse post KLK. Due to not only bearing Ragyo’s genes, the Kiryuin surname, being responsible for wealth, mansion, company & a lot of physical similarities , Satsuki (who still sees herself as a tool / experiment & thus not truly human) has a hard time a) forgetting what she did & b) determining who she actually is. The fact that Ryuko bears a different name & general identity devoid of her own influences does not help either. There are times in which she clearly dissociates herself from her sister & her own father (another critical aspect of the ‘truth’ which she has troubles sorting out) simply because their presence / partial survival / true identity appears far too surreal. Satsuki sometimes feels as if her dwelling in Ryuko’s proximity alone will do her sibling harm. -- to her, nothing is more painful than staring at the mirror & seeing not herself but some imperfect carbon copy of her mother (post KLK/OVA).

tagged by: @vcgabcnd (a yyyyyyye this was fun damn) tagging: those I tagged up above + @absolutiia, @fukainoumi, @emoticlysm, @goreshroom, @henhawks, @aevyternal / @vantrece (you can choose), @vacillatus, @dmnswrd, @imberus, @eyethief & @cinderella-esque.

#[[ I think I struck a good balance between 'edge' & 'chill' this time. All hail me ]]#「〈✦〉 ᴏ ᴀᴛʟᴀs; ʜᴏᴡ I ᴇɴᴠʏ ᴛʜᴇᴇ. Fᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʀʀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ & I ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇɪɢʜᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ. ━ headcanons. 」

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amboato · 8 years ago

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Oh, here’s some fun facts about witches (since you can’t go on the wiki spoiler free yet).

Gertrud(Episode 2)

“The rose garden witch with a distrustful nature. She holds roses dearer than anything else. She expends all of her power for the sake of beautiful roses. Despite stealing the life-force of humans who wander into her barrier to give to her roses, she loathes the thought of them trampling the inside of her barrier.”

Charlotte(Episode 3, om nom nom)

“The witch of sweets. Her nature is tenacity. She desires everything. She will never give up. Though she is capable of creating infinite amounts of any dessert she desires, she is unable to make the cheese that she loves most. One could easily catch her off-guard with a piece of cheese.”

The following is a line from the official design notes for Charlotte’s labyrinth: “’It’s really a delicious cheese cake. My dying mother wanted to eat it, but maybe I should have cured her disease instead. However, that surely wasn’t appropriate.’”

H.N. Elly (Kirsten)(Episode 4)

Elly/Kirsten is unique as a witch, since she has two names, the first name being her “handle” and the second being her “real name”.

“The box witch with a covetous nature. She is a staunchly reclusive witch. Anything she covets she locks away within glass. The thoughts of her prisoners are laid bare, but one can strike her without thought without problems.”

In the design notes for the labyrinth, the following two lines are written: “’I have only one wish. Box up that memory.’” and “When the witch dies, the lights on the Christmas tree and merry-go-round short out. There’s a ‘basssh!’ sound.”

Anja (not a witch, but the familiar from episode 5)

“The scribbling witch’s minion, whose duty is to be naïve. She is a lost familiar who was separated from the witch while playing alone, absorbed in her daydreams. She possesses the ability to transform humans into balls; a human who has been transformed into a ball cannot revert to human form until he bounces against the ground once for each lie that he has ever uttered.”

Elsa Maria (Episode 7)

“The witch of shadow with a self-righteous nature. She continually prays for all of creation and drags all life equally into her shadow without breaking her posture. One hoping to defeat her must know the blackest anguish.”

In the design notes for her labyrinth, the following is written: “'I wish you, although not seen from me, to be happy.’” and “When the witch dies, the stained glass collapses and drops into the air. There’s a 'baaaaaaahn’ sound like from a pipe organ.”

Oktavia von Seckendorff (Sayaka’s witch, Final Timeline)

“The mermaid witch; it is in her nature to fall in love. Looking for the feeling that moved her so long ago, she moves with the entire concert hall. Her fortune only turns under the weight of memories and no longer moves toward the future. Nothing will reach her any longer. She will come to know nothing more. She simply allows no one to disturb her minions’ playing.”

Timeline 3:

“The mermaid witch. Her nature is to fall in love. The witch continues to dream of a guitar resounding in the middle of a concert hall, a deeply moving impression from past days. Repeating within that time with little but sure differences, her wheels of fate move around calmly.”

Oktavia’s design is, pretty obviously, a mixture of Sayaka’s knight theme and The Little Mermaid - the original, where the mermaid is rejected and commits suicide.

Fun fact, since grief seeds all have unique designs, we can tell that the grief seed Madoka gave Homura to clean her soul gem in episode 10 was Oktavia’s.

Patricia (victim of pipe bomb to the hoohah in Episode 10)

“The class representative witch. Her nature is to remain an onlooker. Using the spiderlike threads which she vomits forth, she created a school for herself alone within the sky of her barrier and endlessly acts out an ordinary daily student life there. If you ring the going-home bell, this witch will likely return to her house somewhere.”

From the design notes for her labyrinth: “'It’s raining again today. How long will I continue to be unlucky for?’” and “When the witch dies, it rains heavily. There is a sound like an aircraft crashing.”

Roberta (Episode 10)

“The birdcage witch. Her nature is rage. She continuously stamps her feet inside her cage, directing her rage at those who do not respond to her. This witch is extremely fond of alcohol, and her minions are also easy to burn.”

In the production notes, the following is stated: “A witch who lived for a long time as a magical girl. She is weak, as she was no longer a girl when she became a witch (mid-20s to 30s?). The form she takes in her barrier is how she would’ve turned out in the future (around 40s). What she desires is life. Enjoys alcohol and books.”

Design notes for her labyrinth: “'I wish for friends. Friends who won’t dislike me.’” and “When the witch dies, the bird cage is getting shot down and spilling a circular rain of blood.”

Kriemhild Gretchen(Madoka’s witch)

“Witch of salvation. Her nature is mercy. She absorbs any life on the planet into her newly created heaven–her barrier. The only way to defeat this witch is to make the world free of misfortune. If there’s no grief in this world, she will believe this world is already a heaven.”

The following is written for the version of her in the final episode: “The Witch of Despair. Her nature is direct petition. The mouthpiece for all the unfulfilled hopes of all spent magical girls. If a hope is born that can rewrite the universe, then at the same time, it is born from the mud of despair. Everlasting wailing fills her body, a continuously swelling, empty doll. At the end of a magical girl’s karma, this witch continues to swell to absurd sizes. And in the end, her body could even destroy the galaxy.”

Kriemhild is a figure from Norse mythology, while Gretchen is the name of Faust’s lover, who dies in the first part of the play and leads his soul to heaven in the second part.

Walpurgisnacht(Various)

“The stage-constructing witch (alias: Walpurgisnacht / real name: unknown); her nature is helplessness. She symbolizes the fool who continuously spins in circles. The witch’s mysteries have been handed down through the course of history; her appellation is 'Walpurgisnacht.’ She will continue to rotate aimlessly throughout the world until she completely changes the whole of this age into a drama. When the doll’s usual upside-down position reaches the top part of the witch, she completely roils the civilization on the ground in a flash through her gale-like flight.”

According to Urobuchi (the writer):“It has the destructive power to bring about natural disasters powerful enough to blow away an entire town, but originally it was a single witch. It’s a witch that has grown from the combination of countless other witches. Walpurgisnacht combines with other witches in the same way two powerful tornadoes are able to combine and become larger. It’s essentially a 'conglomeration’-type witch. Because it’s so powerful, it rarely shows itself.”

The following is written in her design notes: “’Everything in this world is fake. My life is nothing more than a drama that you penned. Please, prove it. ’Faust’ is on show.’”

Candeloro(Mami’s witch, appears only in the untranslated PSP game)

“The witch of dress-up. She has an inviting nature. A kind-hearted witch who dreams of ideal things. This witch can’t stand being lonely, and never lets visitors to her barrier escape.”

“The dress-up witch’s minions, whose task is to guide visitors. They invite humans who enter the witch’s barrier to her tea party. When they try to run away from her, the witch ties their hands and feet together. They are precious friends of the witch.” Look familiar?

Ophelia(Kyoko's witch, appears only in the untranslated PSP game)

“The witch of wǔdàn. Her nature is abandonment. A witch who eternally wanders with hollow footsteps within the fog. She can no longer remember what the horse that always accompanies her was.”

Ophelia’s name is probably a reference to the Ophelia in Hamlet.

Also of note is the bad ending for the PSP game, in which it’s implied that Homura becomes a witch and the following image is shown:

The runes read “Homulilly” and “Game Over”, respectively.

A few things:

1) Thank you for this! I hate that I can’t go digging around for info and stuff without spoiling Rebellion, so this is nice to have.

2) Madoka having held onto Sayaka’s grief seed kills me, and then it kills me even more that she used it for Homura.

3) I didn’t say this during the liveblog, but Patricia would be the witch that killed me because I HATE heights.

4) I was wondering what happened if/when a magical girl made it past her girlhood and into womanhood. I guess Roberta lets us know that they are still bound to their contract with Kyubey, even if they are now a magical woman instead of a magical girl.

5) I figured Walpurgisnacht was more than one witch, there’s no way one witch could be that powerful.

6) Mami’s witch’s familiars are modeled after Madoka and Kyoko, SHUT UP!

7) Homura as a witch, scary thought.

#fates0end #You Ask I Answer #amboato Talks about PMMM #submission #PMMM spoilers #to be safe for others

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kris10inger · 7 years ago

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Teal and Trent - Teaser

SEPTEMBER 28th 2017

Months after opening up his heart – and his past – Trent is looking forward to a future with his new bride and daughter. He’s recovered from the near-fatal shooting, hopes to purchase a farm for his beloved Teal, and is building a life free from the horrors of his past.

But the past has a bad habit of never staying buried, and now it’s coming after his entire family. Because Trent didn’t reveal all his secrets to Teal, and the deepest, darkest secret he’d always kept just out of reach is about to break the surface.

An old debt is being called in, one that will pull Trent back into the world of sex, lies, and murder he’s fought so hard to escape. And in the wake of devastating betrayals, he’ll discover who is truly loyal to him, as he agrees to pay that debt with an unforgivable crime.

Trent will stop at nothing to keep Teal and his daughter safe. Even if that means losing them forever.

Meet Ace, Gator, and Mutt from the First Sons of the Revolution MC, and enjoy the first chapter and first look at the spin-off featuring the badass, no-shit-taking men from Blackwater Rising!

Sensing Teal’s stress, he moved closer, wrapping her in his embrace as she pulled the phone to her ear and spoke. “Mother?” Her tone held no warmth, but the chilling air one would offer an unwanted guest or stranger. Though, behind the chill lay anger—sharp and deep-seated hate. Her ridged form melded easily into his, accepting the soothing embrace he offered.

Later, he’d ask why she still hadn’t told her mother the news about their marriage. Thinking on it now, it felt good to throw that in the woman’s face. Fuck, his mother-in-law was a straight up bitch.

His wife gripped the phone hard enough to crush it, her anxiety evident in her tense posture and attitude. Trent knew the fear a parent could wrought in a child. He knew the sense of fear his stepfather had placed in him with each swipe of the belt or cigarette burn. But for Teal, he sensed a different brand of fear. The kind of fear Trent had faced every day in his life—the fear of disappointing everyone around you.

Trent massaged her shoulders, squeezing the tense muscles. The acrid stench of entrenched mother-daughter dysfunction settled in the air.

She sighed heavily. “I’m sorry.” Her tone brokering not a hint of apology. “The condo has new occupants now. You cannot stay there.” Trent had never heard hide nor hair from Teal’s mother in the time they’d been together. Though he had no example of the actions of a good mother, Trent knew that a mother who gave at least one fuck about her kid would pick up the phone in a year.

Teal had promised to inform her mother about their nuptials, but it’d seemed she failed to do so.

“Now isn’t a good time. We have—”

Trent glanced down at her silence.

Teal pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “We don’t have room.” She stopped again, her body tensed.

Trent pulled back. Not even thinking to lower his voice, he asked, “What the hell does she want?” Annoyance flared to life when she ignored him and continued to speak, or rather be spoken to.

He recalled every memory of Teal’s references to her mother. Not a damned one of them gave him the cozy-grandma feel he’d hoped Emma Mae would experience. Between his own human incubator and Teal’s mother, Emma Mae didn’t stand a chance. But that was where he and Teal came in. It was their job to offer their daughter what no one had ever been able to offer them—unconditional love and protection.

Teal glanced up, ire burning bright in her eyes as her mother spoke, knowing whatever was being said would be something he’d loathe. What the fuck was going on in that conversation?

Teal shook her head. “Maybe for a day or two, but that’s all.”

Teal threw her head back and sighed. “Mother, I am not jobless—per se.” Her harsh tone withered, transforming into one of uncertainty. She bit her lip. Finally, sick of not being able to hear both sides of the conversation, Trent pulled the phone from Teal’s hands and place the call on speaker.

Preoccupied with the stress wrought by an overbearing mother, Teal didn’t complain. She merely sagged against the counter, her body shaking in anger as her mother spoke. “And, if you don’t have a job, it isn’t like you can’t accommodate your sister and I. Teal, always so damned head strong, even when you are in the wrong.” A strained sigh sounded through the line. “Despite our commonalties—”

“We couldn’t be more different.” Teal finished.

“Absolutely.”

Trent’s eyes narrowed at the woman’s words. He couldn’t have this nonsense in his house for a few reasons. The first being, Teal’s reaction to her mother’s phone call alone. It spoke volumes to the stress that having her in his home would cause his wife and child. Shit was already tense over that email and his endless hours of overtime.

Hell, he knew Teal wanted to take the job, even after her promise to stay at home with Emma for a year. He needed to nip this shit in the bud, and fast.

“I just don’t think it is a good time now,” Teal said. “I have too much going on, and with the baby—” She placed her head in her hands as if she’d already admitted defeat to the request.

A loud huff sounded. “You want to tell me what is really going on over there? And what damned baby are you talking about? Why is it Katie—a child who is not my own—the only one willing to talk to me about what is going on? Teal, what the hell have you done to your life?”

At that, Trent snatched the phone and ended the call. Thinking better of it, he turned the device off. He then turned and gripped the counter, using it to hold him up. “What the fuck was that about?” The anger he felt wasn’t directed at Teal, but at her mother.

Placing her head in her hands, she turned to him. “I haven’t told her anything about our life yet.” Sheepishly, she looked up at him.

Trent shrugged. “And why would you?”

Teal’s stressful gaze turned to one of confusion. Her dark eyes tracked over his face, no doubt in search of answers. Trent reached up and caressed her cheek. She leaned into him, causing his chest to expand at her acceptance of the comfort he had to offer. She always made his chest tighten with pride and his heart accelerate with need. Each touch felt more intense than the next.

He couldn’t let her feel bad about this. “Baby, since you’ve been with me, she’s called you how many times? She didn’t even know what was happening in your life until she needed a fucking place to stay.” He waited before he spoke again. Waited for the Teal he knew, the Teal she hid from the world to surface from behind that tough as nails exterior. “When you needed her most, where was she? You did shit on your own until you met me, and now we do things together, as a family.”

Teal nodded. “I know, but you know just as well as I do how a mother can fuck with your mind.”

He chuckled. “Don’t bring me into this.”

Teal slapped his chest. “You know what I mean, Trent.”

And he did, he just didn’t want to get in to the heavy why of it. His past and her present were far from his mind when Teal pulled back to stretch. Arms raised over her head, her chest thrust out, pushing her heavy breasts front and center. Trent started to reach out and she batted his hand away.

“Explain something to me?”

Trent cocked a brow. “What?”

“How do you . . .” She bit her lip, struggling with what she wanted to say. “How did you get over having shitty parents?”

Okay, that took him right out of the nice haze the sight of her breast had put him in. Cock soft and a churning feeling in his gut, Trent took a receding step back.

Teal reached for him. “Hey, sorry. I know we don’t talk about this. I just—I guess I am just wondering how you dealt with it.”

He sighed. This was what he loved and hated about Teal. She took from him, things he’d never offered a soul—the truth about how his past had molded him.

“My mother is a completely different beast than yours. Polar opposites to be exact.” The vault of long repressed memories opened and his head filled with the pain and suffering of the past. “Where your mother forced the importance of a good education on you, mine reminded me that I was the reason she’d dropped out of high school.”

Trent shrugged, as if learning his mother despising him hadn’t carved a valley in his heart. Teal’s soft hand on his cheek jolted him from his thoughts and he focused on forgetting the fear, the past, the anger, and the lies. And now, all that was left was Teal and Trent, two souls who’d crashed into one another leaving a maelstrom in their wake.

“My mother played a role,” Teal said. “She was cruel and kind. You never really knew which monster you’d wake up to in the morning.”

“But she offered you kindness?” Trent had wished his mother knew the definition of the word.

Teal shook her head. “Not in the way you think. I’d have preferred her cruelty.”

Confused, Trent lifted her chin to meet her gaze. “Why?” Was the only word he could speak. He’d known the cruelty of his mother and felt it at his father’s hands. He couldn’t fathom anyone wanting such pain and suffering in their lives.

“Because, at least then, I knew where I stood. The mood swings and the mind games fucked me up. Every morning my sister and I would sit at the breakfast table waiting for my mother to come around the corner.”

Trent placed his hands over Teal’s arms and caressed her smooth skin as she spoke.

“It was misery waiting. My stomach would be in knots and my head dizzy.”

“But she never beat you?” Trent asked.

“No. But sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if she had hit us. Physical wounds heal, but the mental breakdown she put us through . . .”

Trent felt the goosebumps on her skin, along with a shudder that rolled through her body. He eased her closer. If he could, he would protect her from her past and the pain that littered her memories. “Any kind of abuse can leave emotional scarring, Teal. I don’t wish that on you or anyone else. This is why we took Emma Mae.” Placing his hands on either side of her, he said, “Do you want your mother in your life?”

She peeked up at him. “I’ve worked very hard to keep her away from me.” She glanced away, and tears filled her eyes.

He hated her tears, but he told himself that he would be the only person who ever saw them, and the one person to always soothe them.

The room seemed to almost darken and center on her; the only illumination, a greenish glow from the overhead microwave clock. The wind danced around outside the house slapping against the shutters sending falling swirls of dust up and into the black night sky. Trent sensed all of this, knew it like the back of his hand.

#romance #interracial romance #indebted #teal&trent

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