#lets hurt toji agenda going rlly strong too

[tojisun]

Hellooo I can never get enough of How We Break. I hope you’re not yet tired of writing about this😭

I’m sorry if I’m asking too much but Toji does not deserve a happily ever after😡 We dont forgive and forget in this household.

Would it be too much if I ask you to write about Toji being jealous that Aiko saw Satoru more as a father than him. Like a little drabble about their relationship.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! and i’ll never get tired of hwb!! highkey scared you guys are the one getting tired of it ;v;

TRUE but also i raise you with: forgive (for your own peace) but never forget (so no one else will ever pull this on you).

sorry it took too long aahhh i hope you like this!!

[aiko’s story]

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aiko was ten when toji realizes that aiko is no longer excited and happy to come live with them.

at first, toji thought it was because of the apparent growing distance between him and megumi, but aiko grows less affectionate to even toji, withdrawing himself from even his father.

toji tries not to think about it, but sometimes he wonders if it is because of you; that you are still so resentful of what has happened and aiko absorbs this bitterness and familiarizes it as his own. 

but toji knows you. he knows that despite the break up and despite what has happened between you two, you would never do such things. these realizations come like being doused in iced water, akin to a sudden awakening but still feeling lost and confused and hurt.

toji tries spending more time with aiko to bridge the widening gap, but aiko is reserved and quiet and toji learns that he does not know how to show his son that he loves him so.

toji turns to his wife for comfort.

“oh darling,” she says, “maybe he is just growing up or going through something in his other home. don’t worry about him too much.”

it does not silence his fears.

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megumi asks him why he’s being weird around aiko. toji laughs, looking at him from the rear view mirror. 

the two of them just dropped aiko off at your house, megumi coming with his brother to knock at your door. toji watches from his car and as much as he strained his head to catch a quick glance your way, he never got to see you clearly. megumi gave you a long hug before walking back to their car.

“what do you mean?” toji asks. he sees megumi shrug before turning to look outside again.

“you’re being strange, dad,” megumi tells him, eyes still looking at the passing scenery, “you’re acting like he’s leaving.”

toji blinks because isn’t that the crux of his fears? aiko leaving him? him not being in aiko’s life anymore?

maybe a strange look passes his eyes or maybe he’s been quiet for too long, but megumi says, “aiko wouldn’t.” and all toji can do is hope for it to be true.

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she calls him out on his behaviour. 

the day was going well: megumi is at his friend’s house, she was at work all day long, and toji went out to buy dinner for the two of them. she was acting like her usual self when they ate, giggling at what toji said and chugging down her can of beer because tomorrow’s a weekend.

toji thought the night was going to end well too, and then she blew up.

“you’re pulling favourites toji,” she hisses, “i know aiko’s situation is tough, but you’ve been sidelining megumi. again.”

toji flinches at her words. he didn’t know. he didn’t notice.

“i’m sorry,” he tells her, but she turns away from him. they sleep with the silence hanging on them and toji wonders, not for the first time, if he could ever grasp what it truly means to be a husband and a father.

tomorrow she will wake him up with the gentlest kisses. he will hug her and press apologies on her skin which she will mirror. toji will promise that he will be a better man and she will thank him for it.

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during aiko’s eleventh birthday, toji learns the reason for aiko’s sudden distancing.

they were celebrating his birthday in toji’s house. it was supposed to be in your house, but his wife insisted on celebrating it at their home because of the bigger space. you accepted after asking aiko if that was he wanted. aiko had agreed with very little enthusiasm.

it was ten in the morning when you arrived. everyone, including you and aiko’s friends along with their parents, was supposed to arrive at two in the afternoon for the celebration so toji wonders why you are here early.

aiko runs up to you, far more excited than toji ever remembers, and jumps into your arms. “mama!” he cheers, laughing when you spinned the two of you around, filling the garden with both of your happy laughs.

toji was about to greet you, smile etching itself on his face, when aiko exclaims, “toru!”

toji watches as his son runs up to a man, one he knows dearly, throwing himself in his arms and nuzzling on the cut of his jaw. gojo satoru nuzzles back at toji’s son, smiling warmly and sincerely as though the bastard knows how to love.

“aiko!” satoru greets just as happily, blowing raspberries at the expanse of aiko’s face. aiko giggles, throwing back his head in happiness.

it’s been so long since toji’s seen aiko look that happy. and all of him despises how it is gojo satoru who is able to bring his son such joy.

satoru looks up from playing with aiko and meets toji’s eyes. there is a single second, just a heart beat, when toji felt intimidated by satoru’s omnipotent presence—the crawling dread and the sudden drop of his stomach, all telling toji to kneel—but it is crushed by satoru’s smirk.

toji almost growls in anger, heart beating so loud it feels like it is roaring through his veins. only when his wife’s nails dug into his skin does he tear his eyes from the family in front of him—one that easily says that he is not welcomed—and meet her eyes.

“are you okay, my love?” she asks.

“yeah,” he says, voice gruff and breaths coming out short, “of course.”

you introduce satoru to them shortly, a pretty blush dusting the expanse of your cheeks and tickling the shell of your ears. you tell them satoru’s your boyfriend of two years.

“why don’t i know of this?” toji wants to ask but it’s not his place. not anymore.

aiko clings to satoru the whole day, showing him around his room in the fushiguro household, recounting moments that toji does not even remember.

“megumi and i played hide-and-seek and i tripped on a root and my tooth fell out.”

“i camped here to watch the shooting stars! sadly it wasn’t visible here but mama recorded it from our house and i was able to watch some of them!”

“there used to be a koi pond here but they removed it because the fishes died.”

“the basement in dad’s house is scary so i don’t go there alone.”

“there was a bird nest on my window but the next day it’s gone, i hope the bird and its babies are okay.”

and all throughout, satoru is responding as enthusiastic as aiko, gasping and prompting the boy to say more. aiko’s eyes twinkle at each reaction, smile growing as though—

as though he’s been starved of affection.

���what have i done to my son,” toji thinks, looking away from satoru and aiko. “i’m sorry aiko, i’m sorry.”

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when aiko leaves them for good, toji wonders if he has the right to feel sorrow.

(he does not.)

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[how we break masterlist]