#lets give these idiots some nice cosy love and support !

[mirza-majoris]

Chapter 5 : O Flower of Scotland !

When they arrived to Dingwall, Desmond hopped from the train and looked around, yawning a bit. This train trip had been rather long considering how far they now were from London and from England. They had taken a small train to go to Victoria Station before taking another very long one to go to Edinburgh, and he had been taking some time to sleep since his night had been pretty rough until now. It was also during that time that his father and Raymond had been discussing the idea of renting a house together and find a job to ease their expenditures. Desmond vaguely remembered something about Ray's mother and how he had explained the whole story to them.

His mother owned a small cottage near Cullicudden, a quarter of hour long trip in car was necessary to go there from Dingwall but it was always closer than anything considering trains couldn't go where there was no railroads. Also, there was another reason Ray wanted to stop to Dingwall. His mother was being employed as a domestic by a very rich family living in Dingwall and her cottage was not inhabited most of the time, that was why she had asked his son to come back to Scotland someday, to help her with the house since she was living in the same mansion as her masters. "The cottage is away from any big city, very few neighbours and good air indeed", that was how Raymond had described it and, somehow, after a good hour of thinking about it, Leon was rather opened to such an idea. And he knew that life could be expansive when you were raising a little boy as a father, and alone. Just thinking about Rachel and how she would've wanted her boys safe and sound, living a normal life, had been enough to convince him to give it a try.

Once in Edinburgh, they had to take another train to Iverness, but before doing so they stopped to buy some coats considering the weather was being less clement than in London, and Leon and Desmond hadn't brought one since they had to leave in a hurry. It wasn't winter yet, so they had some time to buy everything they needed. Only Raymond seemed unbothered by the very wet air coming from his homeland, and in fact he was almost happy to come back home. Desmond had been very interested in the landscape and even though it wasn't his first time traveling somewhere –his parents once travelled to Nazca, in Peru, when he and Theodore were younger– he was a bit nervous since this time they had some evil guys trying to look for them in order to take them away to a very bad place. Scotland was very much different from what he thought it would be, and hearing everyone's accent was enough to trouble him a bit at first. But he had been more than excited when they saw the Loch Ness when changing train again in Iverness. He even had the time to see the castle a bit and eat an ice cream !

Finally, after a whole travelling day, they were finally done and getting out of the station. The evening was near and they had not eaten much, merely two sadnwiches and an ice cream for the boy. But with a smile Raymond told them not to worry, that his mother would be more than happy to take them to diner tonight.

–Still, Leon had said, I don't want to impose my presence and Desmond's to her... and if she's kind enough to allow us to stay in her cottage, I might at least be the one offering her a diner.

–Oh, trust me, sassenach, try to offer to pay and ye'll be facin' a beast ! She'll never accept it. Trust me, A've tried twice. And she scolded me in the middle of the restaurant as if A was still a toddler !

Desmond chuckled a bit and was already picturing a little woman scolding that biker as if he was but a child. Leon smiled when he saw him being a bit more joyful than usual. This was enough to make his heart lighter for a few moment. Ray let them for a short moment, going to take back his motorbike which had traveled with them, in a wagon dedicated to these heavy things. Leon rolled his eyes when he saw that Scottish lad being almost in live this his engine.

–Come on, it's just a vehicle ! It's not some kind of wonder.

Raymond gasped and exaggerated his reaction just to make the boy smile again, boy who was really intrigued by such a mechanical prowess.

–It's not "just a vehicle" sassenach ! It's a Norton Model 40 International 350cc 1 cylinder from 1938 ! A've restored it ! T'was me dad's.

–How does it work ?

Desmond had sparkles in his eyes and he was hopping around the vehicle trying to figure out how it was possible for such a thing to be driven by someone on the road. Leon sighed, not knowing how to react to Desmond's enthusiasm since he didn't like mechanical stuff much. He was a more... traditional man regarding technology and mechanics. And he was barely capable to use a television so he wasn't an expert regarding the topic.

–Well, maybe he can explain it to you once we've seen his mother. How do we do that ? We wait for the end of her service or what ?

Raymond took a peek at his watch and thought about it for a minute.

–OK, well... I'll take her at her job, it's almost October's holidays for her, they always give her Samhain.

–Sowhat ?

The Scottish man sighed again and rolled his eyes, pulling his motorbike to follow as they were walking together.

-It's pronounced "Soween", and it's... well, 31st of October. The All Hallows eve, if ye prefer. Go on, have some nice walk time or go to the park, A'll join ye here with me mom. Sounds good ? There's also a few shops. To get yerself a Scots dictionary. Because ye'll need it.

He chuckled and winked to Desmond, promising him a nice ride later, and he made the motor roar before flying away to a very big mansion, away from the city center, and the more he was getting closer and the more his smile was fading. What he hadn't said Leon about all this was that he wasn't exactly in good touch with his mother and he wanted to go there forst to try to talk to her. Last time he had seen her, it was another glorious argument they had, about family mostly, and he has had very harsh words to her, before leaving like a thief, without even saying goodbye. By now he has had enough time to think about it and he regretted a good portion of what he said six years ago. That large amount of time was also the reason he hasn't told Leon about his relationship with his mother. Because at this point he didn't even know if she was willing to talk to him anymore.

He had written him letters 2 years ago, if you can call that writing a letter considering he's done nothing but traces a few line on the paper, for Christmas, All Hallows Eve, New Year's Eve, Easter, her birthday, etc. Just a few lines, and she had never responded to any of them for the simple reason he's been avoiding to leave any address to reply. His life wasn't the most glorious one and by now he was really regretting it, trying to make up for things he's been too stubborn to apologise for.

Without him realising it, his motorbike had almost ridden itself alone, bringing him right to main gates of the big mansion where his mom was working. He sighed and entered the property, leaving his engine near the portal gates, and proceeded to go up the alley to reach for the doors and knock on them, disdainful enough not to ring the bell. He wasn't used to ring bells anyway, he preferred the simple knocking, bells were some fancy way to summon someone and he didn't like it.

A young woman came soon after, looking at him with red cheeks and a shy smile across her face.

–Good evening sir... Who may I announce ?

–Hi, huh... well, A'm not here to see Lord McGregor, A'm lookin' fer me mother, Maighread, is she workin' or does she have... ye know, a few minutes ?

The young lady though seemed a bit troubled by his accent, for sure she was probably not used to Scots and Scottish accent either since the master of this old creaky mansion was trying to speak as "normally" as possible.

–I deeply apologise but... May-who ?

–Maighread, me mom. Ye know her surely, a li''le woman, heavy brown hair, she's the one in charge of the whole domestics here A think.

This time the lady figured it out and her eyes seemed to lighten up.

–Oh, I see ! You're looking for Mà Bannag ! Everyone calls her like that, she always bakes the most wonderful pies !

Ray sighed, a bit nostalgic, and thought that this nickname was truly fitting his mother. He nodded and offered the maid his most charming smile.

–Would ye be kind enough to allow me to see her ? The day's almost done, and A need to talk to her...

Being put in front of such a charming man, the woman blushed again and chuckled like an adorable chick before allowing him to enter and asking him to wait in the hall while she was going to bring Maighread in.

Ray looked around, not that impressed by such a decorum displayed through this hall. Big wooden interior, sculptures, old architecture, dark wooden stairs and ceilings, some tapestries which colours were slowly being less and less shiny considering they were older than everyone in this mansion, some carpets, everything making this house wealthy was only the furniture while the house itself was creaking each time there was a windy day. The man had lived there, with his mother and father, in the domestic aisle, most of his life, before leaving when he was a teen. He knew this corridors like no one else and he also remembered some nice little pranks he did to his parents when he was hidden in the library secret passage. A bit cliche but always worked. The thought was enough to bring a smile on his face but it quickly vanished when he heard the voice of an old man coming from up the stairs.

–It's been a while since last time you came here...

Raymond barely looked up, he wasn't much impressed by the old lord and his grey hair, grey moustache, grey tuxedo and severe figure. In fact, all that was filling his eyes right now was animosity.

–A'm not here to talk to ye. A'm here for me mà.

The old lord seemed to feel some heavy pressure on his shoulder and he looked away. Even his voice seemed less full of assurance.

–She should be here soon, I saw Maggie, the maid who introduced you in, rushed to the domestic aisle... ... you know, if I can do something, I-

But Raymond shook hisbhead and interrupted him right away.

–A want nothin' comin' from ye. And don't ye dare bring Maighread into this. Ye've done enough already, don't ye think ?

The old man sighed but replied nothing. Instead, he only nodded and went away, coming back to his room, just a moment before a shaky voice came to Ray's ears. He turned with a small smile hanging on his lips and waited anxiously for the little woman to come closer, uncertain how to react.

In front of his, his mother was looking at him, her hazel eyes wide opened. Her dark wair was tied into a severe bun but her cheeks and wrinkles at the corner of her eyes were indicating a very joyful woman. She was a bit skinnier than last time Ray had seen her and she had aged indeed. Her hands were shaking because of how unreal the moment seemed to be to her and her uniform, her apron indeed, was covered in flour. The man sighed and messed with his own hair, embarrassed and not knowing what to say. Suddenly his mind had gone blank.

–Hey.... huh... well... hi mà...

The old woman didn't let him say anything else and rushed to hug him tight, happy like she had rarely been. Since she was littler, he had to lean a bit but he didn't complain and hugged her back.

–Mo mac ! Balach beag, A've been so worried, me boy !

If anyone wondered where that young man got his accent from, then the answer was his mother, because she was the one always using this soft voice and little words to speak with her son. Even Ray's father had less of an accent than her !

–Ye are insufferable, young man ! Do ye know how very few informations ye put in yer letters ? A didn't even know if ye were doin' fine or not !

–A'm fine, mà... A just... well... A just had... rough days back then... A'm sorry...

A mother would always be a mother and this one knew her som very well. She backed away a bit, softly put her hands on both his cheeks and look him in the eyes with a worried frowned wrinkling her forehead.

–Yer eyes tell a lot, mo mac... Ye'll explain to me later ?

Raymond sighed and looked away. Maighread sighed too and kissed his forehead before smiling.

–I know ye're not here without a reason... do ye mind helping me grab me things ? Then ye'll tell me all about it, sounds fair ?

For how much Raymond wanted to be serious and for how much guilty he was feeling for the past few years, he cracked a smile and followed his mother. This little reunion had been going rather well but the main topic wasn't even brought on the table yet, they would need a long conversation, preferably with a cherry or a good whiskey.

–Yeah... let's go... Care fer a ride on me motorbike ?

–A thought ye'd never ask !

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[johnny-freaking-silverhand]

Hospitality Part 2

Goro Takemura x V

Part 1

Word Count: 2817

Ever since your first offer of letting Takemura use your apartment, he had been around almost every night. He would go out during the day, you weren’t sure if it was because he was working on trying to prove that Yorinobu had killed his father or because he felt like he was in your way, but he still returned in the evening to shower and sleep. If you were in, which wasn’t always the situation since you were working on finding a solution to your own problems, he would normally cook dinner as well, so your kitchen has never been so stocked. It was a pleasant arrangement that you had certainly gotten used too.

Having Takemura around had proved useful in some ways, you spent the best part of your days apart, both out in Night City pursuing separate leads but you spent most evenings together and had formed a sense of closeness in that time.

You were in the kitchen, just washing up when the relic malfunctioned, sending shocks of pain through your head before trailing down your spine. You let out a pained gasp, feeling the air being stolen from your lungs, as you held your head in your hands, releasing the glass that was in your hand. The glass shattered on the floor and you nearly collapsed.

As you felt your knees buckle, a strong arm wrapped around your waist, keeping you on your feet and holding you against his chest.

“V? Are you alright?” Takemura’s familiar voice managed to get through the ringing in your eyes.

He kept one arm around your waist and took one of your hands in his other, pulling it away from your head in an attempt to see what was going on.

“Are you alright?” his voice came through clearer as the ringing settled.

“Yeah…yeah…I’m okay” you nodded but Takemura didn’t release you.

“You should sit down” he advised before helping you over to the couch, sitting you down before kneeling down in front of you. “What’s wrong?” he asked, clearly concerned.

“It’s the relic…messing up again. It happens sometimes but usually goes a way pretty quickly” you explained. “But damn it hurts” you sighed, rubbing your forehead gently. “I think I’m fine now, just need to sit for a minute” you assured him.

“Is there anything I can get you?” Takemura kindly asked but you just shook your head. He nodded before standing and returning to the kitchen to clean up the smashed glass.

“You alright?” Johnny asked as he appeared standing in front of you.

“Yeah” you nodded, glad that he was just being calm and quiet for now.

“Did you say something?” Takemura asked from the kitchen, making you look over at him.

“Uh, no, sorry” you told him, seeing him nod and get back to work before turning back to Johnny.

“Maybe he isn’t too bad to have around” Johnny hummed, disappearing again as Takemura approached you.

“Here” he handed you a glass of water as he reached you, even though you had said that you didn’t need anything.

“Thank you” you smiled, taking the drink.

“There is no need to thank me” he assured you before leaving you to rest and have some space.

A FEW DAYS LATER

You were already at the apartment, lounging on your couch after closing a few gigs earlier on in the day, when Takemura walked through the door.

“I have news” he announced, getting your attention.

“Oh, please be good news, I can’t go running around right now” you groaned, turning your body to face him.

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t require your services” he assured you, making you relax against the back of the couch again.

“What is it?” you asked.

“I have found a new apartment, so I can finally stop intruding on you and your home” Takemura informed you, catching you off guard.

You paused for a moment, processing his words before speaking. “Goro, you aren’t intruding. I’ve told you, you’re always welcome here” you reminded him as you stood from the couch, moving to stand in front of him.

“I appreciate that, V, but it is time for me to leave the nest, as they say” he shook his head.

“Well, if you’re sure, just don’t want you to feel like you can’t stay” you nodded, trying to ignore the strange feeling of loss that was settling in your chest. “Is it nice?” you asked.

“It is…affordable” he told you unenthusiastically.

“Well, still, that’s good news” you attempted to sound optimistic, even if his new place already wasn’t sounding too great.

“You both look like kicked puppies” Johnny popped up beside you both and you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. “You don’t want him to leave, he doesn’t want to leave, just tell him that” he advised, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Got to admit, I’m going to miss your cooking” you joked, deciding to ignore Johnny.

“I’d be happy to keep cooking for you. We can still have dinner together” Takemura offered.

“We can?” you asked, a little surprised.

“Of course. I could come here, or you could visit my new place” he nodded.

“I’d like that” you smiled.

“That’s a date invitation, right? I don’t know, these Corpos need to be more blunt” Johnny hummed, giving you a look that told you to take action but you ignored him.

“Well, if you ever need anything, you can call me” you reminded him.

“I will call you about dinner” Goro promised.

“Good” you nodded, still smiling.

And so, Takemura packed his belongings and left your apartment. As the door closed behind him, you sighed and sat down on the couch, Johnny once again appearing in front of you.

“Why did I have to get stuck in the head of an idiot?” Johnny asked with a scoff.

“Excuse me?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“You should have said something” Johnny told you.

“Like what?” you scoffed.

“Oh, I don’t know, ‘please don’t leave me, I love you!’” he mocked dramatically, doing an awful impression of you.

“Fuck off, Johnny. I don’t love him” you snapped.

“But you want him to stay” he pointed out, sitting on the coffee table in front of you.

“Just shut up” you groaned, not liking having somebody in your head, able to know what you’re thinking and feeling.

“He wanted to stay too, even I could see that. Should’ve said something” Johnny continued with his retrospective advise.

“I thought you didn’t like him” you looked at him with a confused expression. Why was he so supportive of having Takemura stay in the first place when he had been against your entire friendship not that long ago?

“Didn’t…still don’t really, but you do” Johnny shrugged, making you sigh. “Next time just say something” he advised. You weren’t sure whether you liked him more when he was just trying to get out of your head or now that he has actually become a friend getting involved with your personal life.

“Thanks for the advice, Johnny” you mumbled, tilting your head back against the back of the couch.

“Anytime, kid” he smirked before disappearing. You just rolled your eyes at him before closing your eyes and letting out a small sigh.

A FEW DAYS LATER

Since Takemura moved on from your apartment, the two of you had stayed in touch through phone calls and messages, but it wasn’t until a few days after he left that you received a call from him inviting you to dinner. Of course, you accepted the invitation, happy to meet in person again.

So, he sent you the address of the place he was staying at and immediately the alarm bells in your head started ringing when you saw where it was located. But you headed over, entering the small, rundown looking apartment complex. You had been in places like this a hundred times for one reason or another, but you couldn’t picture Takemura staying here.

Walking up the stairs and down a hallway, you finally reached the door of his apartment. You knocked on the door and you barely had to wait for Takemura to open it and greet you with a smile. He welcomed you inside and closed the door behind you as you walked further into the room.

The apartment was dimly lit, the windows had been bordered up for one reason or another, and there was nearly no furniture. It was bland and cold, and that was ignoring the signs of water damage or the sound of arguing coming from the neighbouring apartment. This just wasn’t Takemura’s style at all.

“Cosy” you commented but even you weren’t sure whether you were trying to be polite or sarcastic.

“I don’t plan on being here for long” Takemura assured you as he returned to the little kitchenette, where he had already prepared dinner. “Please, take a seat” he gestured towards the table positioned in the centre of the room.

You sat on one of the two chairs that were pulled up to the small table, a candle flickering in the centre. Takemura walked over and poured to drinks before going to get the plates of food, placing them down on the table before sitting across from you.

“Thank you” you smiled as he sat down.

“Aw, isn’t that nice. A little candle lit dinner…even in this shit hole” Johnny appeared, leaning back against the wall to the right of you.

“Please, Johnny” you thought as you took a sip of your drink, pleading with him to just give you one evening.

“Fine but you better be honest with him, I can’t handle the sulking anymore” Johnny muttered before disappearing again.

“Considering what you had to work with, this is great” you complimented his cooking once again as you began to eat.

“Thank you. Only a poor artist blames his tools” Takemura smiled at your compliment.

“Can’t argue with that” you chuckled.

“I don’t think we started on the same page, I first planned on bringing you to Yorinobu as his father’s killer but then he confirmed my suspicions that he had committed parricide. So, I saved your life and asked you to act as a witness to his death” Takemura spoke, confusing you slightly.

“Yeah, I know. I was there, remember?” you cocked an eyebrow at him, wondering where this was going.

“I am trying to say something” he confessed with a small sigh.

“Sorry, continue” you apologised, letting him speak.

“We agreed that we had mutual interests and could help each other, but I think you can agree that we have formed something more than a mutually beneficial arrangement” you tried not to be amused by the way he spoke, by how formal he sounded.

“Are you trying to say that we’re friends?” you asked, “if so, then I do agree.”

“Yes, we are friends” Takemura nodded, the slight awkwardness of his speech making you smile fondly. “Though, there is something else I felt I should discuss with you” he admitted.

“You’ve gone very formal. More so than usual” you informed him, not sure if he was aware of it.

“I’m sorry” he apologised, making you smile some more.

“It’s fine” you assured him. “So, what is it that you wanted to ‘discuss’ with me?” you asked.

“I seem to have developed more than feelings of friendship for you” Takemura confessed, surprising you yet again.

“You mean…you have feelings for me?” you asked to clarify.

“Yes” Goro nodded, “I do not know how you feel but I thought I should tell you.”

“Well, I…I feel the same way and I should have told you earlier” you confessed, cursing the light blush that formed on your cheeks. You hadn’t expected the day to take this turn. “Hold on, if you feel that way, why were you so insistent on moving out of my apartment and to…here” you asked, glancing around the grimy apartment.

“I wasn’t sure how you felt and if you did not return my feelings, I didn’t want you feeling uncomfortable with me being there” Takemura explained honestly.

“That’s…actually very sweet but clearly you had nothing to worry about” you pointed out with a smile.

“It appears so” he nodded.  

“Goro, will you just come back to the apartment? I know it’s not great but it’s better than here” you asked with a sigh. You hated seeing him here, it was miserable and dangerous.

“Perhaps I moved prematurely” he hummed in agreement.

“You moved thinking you would save me discomfort, it’s sweet but…” your words drifted off as you tried to think of the right way to phrase it.

“…but this place is not suitable for anyone” Takemura finished your sentence for you.

“Exactly” you nodded.

“I will come back” he agreed.

“Good” you let out a sigh of relief, both because you would get to see him more often again and because he was getting out of here.

“Is the new apartment really that bad?” Takemura asked sarcastically, and you just gave him an unamused expression in response that made him laugh. Yes, it really was that bad. “I believe this is the beginning of something wonderful” he told you with a charming smile, referring to what the two of you had between you.

“There is still a lot left up in the air” you reminded him, looking down at your food.

“I know but I’m optimistic that we’ll find the answers we need” Takemura claimed but you looked unsure. “V, you have done nothing but surprise and impress me since we met. I have no doubt that if anyone can right the wrongs you have faced, it is you” he encouraged, reaching over and placed his hand over yours.

“Thanks, Goro” you smiled softly, turning your hand over to hold his, feeling his thumb brush against the back of your hand as he smiled at you.

Maybe he was right, there were still leads to follow, there had been development that managed to give you hope. Maybe you could find solutions, and maybe you could do it together.

After dinner, you helped Takemura collect his belongings before heading back to your apartment. Once you arrived at your apartment, he unpacked his things, hanging up his clothes in your closet, and making himself at home just like you had told him to do.  

“I’m going to shower” you spoke up.

“I’ll shower afterwards” Takemura nodded, definitely feeling the need to have one after staying in that dingy apartment even if only for a few days.

You stepped into the bathroom, showering, drying your hair, and dressing in comfortable clothes before returning to the main room. You opened the door and stepped out, jumping a little as you bumped into Takemura.

“Sorry” you apologised, laughing a little as you looked up at him.

Goro just smiled as he lifted his hand, gently tucking your hair behind your ear before leaning down to press his lips to yours. The gesture was a little surprising, but you wouldn’t lie, you had been waiting for it to happen. He had shared his feelings for you, and you had returned them, but he never made a move to kiss you, so you had been waiting for the moment to be right. Now, he must have decided that it was.

“Took your time with that” you teased as he pulled away from the kiss. Takemura just chuckled and shook his head at you before stepping past you and into the bathroom.

“About time!” you turned to see Johnny lounging on your couch.

“Shut up, Johnny” you rolled your eyes but still smiled as he winked at you before disappearing again.

When Takemura came back out of the bathroom, you were sitting on the bed, yawning to yourself.

“Do you want me to take the couch?” Goro asked politely.

“You don’t need to sleep on the couch” you shook your head, smiling at him.

He returned your smile before walking over and joining you on the bed, you shifting over towards the wall to give him space. Just as you felt bad about him staying in that other apartment, you felt bad for making him sleep on the couch, at least now you could offer him some more comfort in your home.

You lay down and made yourself comfortable as he switched off the light. You weren’t exactly sure how comfortable he was with sharing a bed, so you just rolled onto your side, facing away from him and tried to get some sleep. You felt Goro shift behind you as he made himself comfortable, a smile forming on your face as you felt his arm wrap around your waist, his chest making contact with your back. You could tell that he was trying to read your comfort level as well, so you relaxed against him to reassure him.

“Night, Goro”

“Goodnight, V” 

[artificialqueens]

Not Nineteen Forever (5)(Branjie/Scyvie)- Ortega

a/n: (shrek voice) oh, hello there! welcome to chapter 5 of these useless idiots trying to make sense of life and how to get the girl they like to like them back. as always thank u for all the love and support, it absolutely blows my mind so thank u and loads of love. sidenote i’ve had to change Yvie’s birthday to fit with the story so apologies to Yvie purists xxxx

Summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

Last chapter: In a misguided attempt to make Yvie fall for her, Scarlet brought cocaine to the club. It didn’t work, Brooke had a panic attack, and Yvie left Scarlet at the taxi rank on her own. A mess.

This chapter: Yvie is not nineteen forever, there’s an apology, and Vanessa has a bright career as a government spy ahead of her.

***

Brooke woke up early, happy to see the sun gently peeking through her curtains as she stretched slowly and enjoyed the feeling of her duvet cosy around her. She usually loved waking up late on a Saturday, but today was different. Rolling over in bed, she grabbed her phone, typed a quick message to Nina and then got up, picking her dressing gown up off the floor and softly shuffling her way through to the kitchen. She rubbed her eyes blearily as she reached up above the kitchen cupboards and pulled down the box of cupcakes she’d bought the day before- salted caramel and carrot and walnut, two of Yvie’s favourites. She opened up the drawers, got two candles and lit them both before pushing them into the top of each cake. Brooke then made her way to her flatmate’s room, stopping to softly knock on Nina’s door on the way.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” came a hushed whisper from the other side, Nina appearing a second later with tired eyes and her huge mane of hair swept up into a messy bun. Brooke shot her a smile then knocked gently on Yvie’s door, not waiting for a response before slowly opening it.

“Hey Yvie, Yvie, Yvie,” she chirped softly, the other girl still a little moving bundle underneath her duvet. “Happy birthday!”

Brooke chuckled, throwing herself down on top of the duvet bundle and hearing it groan underneath. Nina began to sing the Happy Birthday song under her breath and sat down more gently on the edge of Yvie’s bed. There was a shuffling from under the duvet and Yvie’s head popped out, her hair all messy and strewn over her face. “Ugh, what time is it?”

“Nine. You don’t get a lie in on your birthday because you have to spend every second of it having fun,” Nina explained, gesturing to the cupcakes in the box Brooke was still holding in her hands. “Look, we got you cupcakes! You need to make a wish.”

Yvie rolled her eyes but she couldn’t suppress the smile on her face as she looked into the box and saw the cupcakes with the two glowing candles on top of them. As she blew them out, Brooke and Nina gave a cry of delight and clapped softly.

“She’s finally twenty. I thought you’d never get there,” Brooke teased, cuddling Yvie over her duvet. Yvie was the youngest of their friendship group, but Brooke didn’t think anyone would have been able to tell that from the way she looked and acted. She was finally joining the others in the club of twenty-somethings who made bad life decisions.

“Yeah well, sorry my parents chose to bang on Valentine’s Day,” she laughed, taking a cupcake with one hand and stroking Brooke’s hair with the other. Her smile was soft and warm on her face. It was a side to Yvie that people very rarely saw, and Brooke felt so lucky that she and Nina were two of the rare few who got to see it often. “Thanks, guys. This was super cute of you.”

“What did you wish for?” Brooke murmured against the duvet. Nina gave an annoyed tut.

“She can’t tell us or it won’t come true!”

“It won’t come true. But it’s nice to wish,” Yvie said hopefully, the wistful tone to her voice causing Brooke to lift her head and frown at her.

“Oh, I know what you mean, girl. I haven’t stopped wishing I was a mermaid since I was about five,” Nina shrugged, both Yvie and Brooke snorting a laugh. “I’ll make us all tea, will I? You’re gonna need something to go with those cupcakes.”

Nina made her way out of the room, Yvie and Brooke sitting in a comfortable silence as they heard the hissing sound of the kettle beginning to boil next door. Yvie wordlessly held the cupcake out to Brooke, offering her a bite. Brooke eyed it suspiciously.

“What one is it?”

“Carrot and walnut,” Yvie explained, a lick of white frosting staining the side of her mouth. Brooke scrunched up her face.

“Ew, no thanks. Fucking weirdo.”

“That’s me!” Yvie smiled happily, popping the last of the cupcake in her mouth and scooting down in bed so she could cuddle Brooke better.

“I’m so ready for lazerquest,” Brooke said excitedly, her heart giving a little thrum of anticipation. Yvie’s smile turned bigger.

“Oh my God, I know, bitch. I’m gonna dominate all you assholes.”

“Hey, don’t think we’ll let you win just because it’s your birthday,” Brooke frowned, Yvie raising her eyebrows.

“You won’t need to let me win, girl, I’ll do it all on my own.”

“That’s it. I’m gonna get all the girls to gang up on you secretly,” Brooke spoke through a yawn. Yvie let out a chuckle.

“Not much of a secret now is it? Idiot.”

Just then, Nina came back into the room with three cups of tea. Yvie sat up in bed, gesturing for Brooke to move as she threw back her duvet and let the girls in. Brooke cosied up on Yvie’s right side while Nina slotted in on the left, handing them across their teas. Brooke sighed happily. These were the moments she’d miss when they graduated and were all at different ends of the country or even the world- the fact she could be here, living with two of her best friends, waking up on a Saturday with tea and cupcakes. It made her skin all warm with happiness.

“I gave Yvie the Sports Direct mug since it’s her birthday,” Nina explained, the mug in question having come with the flat when the girls moved in and was chipped, cavernous, and able to hold about a gallon of tea. Brooke shrugged, acquiescing. Yvie reached across to her bedside table for her phone and Nina obliged, pulling the charger out gently and handing it to her. Brooke watched as Yvie checked it and frowned minutely.

“What is it?” Brooke asked, unable to help herself.

Yvie took a quick breath in. “Scarlet’s just saying happy birthday.”

Brooke and Nina frowned at each other as Yvie busied herself with typing back. It had been a rough week or so since Brooke and Yvie had been out with Scarlet and Vanjie, the night having turned into something really weird when Scarlet decided to produce cocaine from seemingly nowhere. Brooke shuddered, still remembering the panic she’d had and how paranoid she’d felt about everything once she’d taken it. Looking back, she wasn’t even sure that she’d been high at all, but the fact that she knew she’d taken some only caused her to fret and worry. But Vanessa, Brooke thought as her heart gave a throb. Vanessa had been so protective and caring and worried, taking her in a taxi home with Yvie, holding her hand and cuddling her and stroking her hair as Brooke panicked all the way home, looking out Brooke’s pyjamas for her and tucking her into bed and pressing a kiss to her forehead just before she left, a worried frown on her face the whole time. Yvie had been slightly over the whole situation, but Brooke couldn’t blame her. From what she’d gathered, her and Scarlet had had a furious row in the club, and she knew that Yvie had left her at the taxi rank on her own. That had been harsh, Brooke thought, but Yvie always ran the risk of making irrational decisions when she was a) drunk and b) angry, and she had been both. She’d gone back to her room as Vanessa had put Brooke to bed, and the next day Yvie had said nothing as she came through to Brooke’s room and wordlessly climbed under her duvet, Brooke immediately moving to hold her. She’d asked Yvie if she wanted to talk about last night, Yvie had said no, so they’d lain there together for a while in silence, Brooke’s thoughts running around her head and Yvie’s no doubt doing the same.

The week had passed by quickly, if only a little awkwardly. Brooke, admittedly, hadn’t had much time- her portfolio and final showcase had been on the Friday, so she and Plastique had basically holed themselves away in the library and the design department until it was done. Now, though, Brooke thought she should catch up with her friend.

“So you and her are fine now, then?” Brooke asked Yvie, the other girl sighing deeply.

“Technically yes. I messaged her on the Friday to say sorry, ‘cuz I felt like an ass not letting her in the taxi with us, and she apologised too, so I mean I guess we’re fine but…I don’t know. I’ve not seen her all week, she’s not asked to hang out.”

Nina patted Yvie’s arm sympathetically. “I wouldn’t take that to heart, girl, I mean we’re all busy people these days. A lot of deadlines coming up.”

“I know, you’re right. But I just don’t know if when I see her today she’ll be like…buying people stuff or she’ll have got me some fuckin’ expensive present or some shit. I mean, has she seemed off to you guys at all?” Yvie frowned, appealing to her flatmates. Brooke bit her lip as she thought about it.

“Yeah I mean…she’s been kind of throwing money around lately, but that’s about it. She’s still a complete idiot,” Brooke added on at the end, hoping it would elicit a response from Yvie. Brooke smiled as Yvie used her free hand to swat at Brooke.

“Hey. Don’t be a dick.”

“See! You have made up with her, because you’re still defending her,” Brooke smiled cheekily, a red blush hitting Yvie’s cheeks.

“Well yeah, she’s still my friend! But I don’t know. I hope she’ll be okay with me today,” Yvie muttered, biting her lip. Nina turned to the other girls, frowning.

“Can we also talk about…Scarlet and Vanjie? That happened, right? I’m sure one of you told me about that.”

“Oh yeah, I did,” Yvie said, then snorted a laugh and turned to Brooke. “Yeah that was fucking weird, right? When they got with each other?”

Brooke felt a stab to her heart and a flush fly to her face as she remembered the situation. Nina and Yvie’s faces grew curious and they instantly pressed her for more information, Brooke reluctantly telling them both what her response to the whole thing had been- how she’d pulled Vanjie back into her arms and muttered something about how she wasn’t allowed to do that with Scarlet, and if she was getting with anyone tonight it was going to be her. But Vanessa’s response had assuaged Brooke’s embarrassment, Brooke flexing her toes as she thought about Vanessa’s dark smile and the way she bit her lip and made some comment about how Brooke was so hot when she was jealous. Upon telling the girls the full story, Nina gave a cry, a flail, and spilt a big slosh of tea onto Yvie’s duvet.

“Nina! Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re gonna make me do laundry on my birthday,” Yvie laughed, annoyed but also not really.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I just…I’m trying to work it out,” Nina frowned, looking at Brooke intently. Brooke furrowed her brow.

“What?”

All of a sudden, Nina turned around and picked up a pillow, thumping Brooke with it as she spoke. “How you two haven’t FUCKING GOT WITH EACH OTHER YET! My GOD! It’s EXHAUSTING!”

“It is exhausting,” Yvie agreed, nodding. “It’s getting to the stage where there’s so much sexual tension between you that I get horny even just being in the same room as the pair of you.”

Brooke let out a laugh. “That’s fucking gross.”

“Well, it’s true. Can that be my birthday present? Can you finally get with Vanjie? Please?”

Brooke rolled her eyes and stared at Yvie. “No.”

Nina pulled a heartfelt face and put her hand to her chest. “What if a gay child with cancer had three weeks to live and their last wish to the Make a Wish foundation was to see Brooke and Vanessa kiss furiously in the middle of lazerquest. Are you telling me you wouldn’t kiss Vanjie in that instance?”

Brooke and Yvie let out a howl of laughter, Brooke reaching across and thumping Nina with her free hand. “Can the pair of you fucking stop? My God. I’ll get with her when I get with her, Jesus.”

“You’re an asshole,” Nina rolled her eyes, casting a glance to Yvie. “Hey, are both of those cupcakes gone or is there still one left?”

As the girls finished up their tea and the cupcakes and moved to get ready, Brooke thought about what they had both said and what had happened last Wednesday. Everything spun around her mind like a washing machine, and for the first time in three years, Brooke started to think that fuck, maybe Vanessa did like her back. It wasn’t that radical a notion. Brooke knew that Vanessa was flirty and touchy with all her friends, but there was something about her behaviour with Brooke that felt different. After all, Vanjie had said herself that she felt she and Brooke had something special. It still didn’t explain, however, why Vanjie was happy to get with so many people in their friend group (Akeria, Silky, Plastique and now Scarlet in the past year alone) but she’d never made a move on Brooke. Maybe there was something holding her back. Brooke didn’t know, and she couldn’t tell for sure.

In any event, Vanjie or no Vanjie, today was still going to be a good day, and she was looking forward to some time with her friends acting like an absolute child and running around laserquest for an afternoon. Yvie had decided she wanted to go there in lieu of a big piss-up night out and so she’d booked it at the big retail park on the outskirts of the city, the other girls transferring her money excitedly as none of their friendship group could even pretend to be too cool for lazerquest. Brooke felt her thoughts run through her mind as she opened her wardrobe, unable to help herself thinking about the possibility of something happening between her and Vanjie. She decided to wear her plain blue jeans with a black polo neck and trainers, running her tongue over her teeth happily as she’d once remembered Vanessa saying she loved girls in polo necks, “like a fuckin’ Kheira Knightly dream girl fantasy”, and she’d clung onto the information ever since, sporadically using it to her advantage. Today was one of those days. Brooke was about to sweep her hair up into a high ponytail when her door burst open, Nina on the other side. Her mane of wavy hair framed her face and she had opted for a pair of pink dungarees, a white t-shirt underneath.

“Hey. You look cute,” Brooke said through a mouthful of kirby grip, Nina smiling cheerfully in response as she lay down on Brooke’s unmade bed.

“Thanks, angel,” she said, looking in the direction of Yvie’s room across the hall and frowning, lowering her voice. “Hey, is Yvie okay, do you think?”

Brooke blew out a considerable amount of air from her lungs. “Honestly it’s hard to say. I don’t know. She doesn’t tell us anything.”

“True. I just think she’s overreacting about the whole Scarlet thing. Like okay, she’s being a bit careless with her money, and what? Scarlet’s a smart girl, she isn’t an idiot. Well. She is in some aspects of life, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, Nina, but you know what Yvie’s like,” Brooke frowned, pulling the band around her hair as she spoke. “She’s very proud and doesn’t like the thought of anyone pitying her or anything. Which is why I think the whole Scarlet throwing around money thing is getting to her. Also, I see where she’s coming from with the personality transplant thing. I mean Scarlet with cocaine? Come on.”

Nina shrugged, nodding. “No, you’re right, that one is weird. Aw, but you know what it’s like, Brooke, it’s uni. We all get to third year and know that our time’s running out and wish we’d all done so much more. Remember when the three of us made that bucket list in first year? How much of that did we actually do?”

Brooke sighed, finishing her hair and turning around to Nina. “I don’t want to grow up, Nina.”

“I know, baby. Me neither. Let’s go see if Yvie’s ready then get the bus.”

The three girls eventually gathered everything they needed and locked up their flat, walking around the corner and waiting for the bus that would take them to the retail park. It arrived only six minutes late, Yvie and Brooke having to rely on Nina to pay their fares as neither of them had any change. They all sat on the top deck, Yvie making them sit at the very front so she could pretend she was driving the bus, and they were off. Brooke shot a quick message to the group chat, which already had a few messages on it.

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: What day is it today.

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: I know it’s a Saturday but I feel like there’s something else

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Could it be…International Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: No……that’s not it

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: If only there was some way to remember

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY YVIEEEEEEEEE

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Silky I cannot believe

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: You just ruined my entire setup

Okay Then: happy birthday Yvie!!!!! can’t wait for lazerquest

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Happy Birthday Yvie hope you have the best day (which u will because you’re seeing us)

used Tampon: Happy Birthday angel xxxxxxx

FORD TRANSIT VANJIE: YAY Happy Birthday Yvelynn!!!! Can’t wait to shoot u multiple times with lazers xo

mose: We’re on the bus guys see u all soon!

Okay Then: fuck i need to get dressed i’m still in bed

Kim Kardashian-West: Yes Plastique i’m sure shagging your flatmate is exhausting work xxx

Brooke howled as she read Nina’s reply. “NINA!”

The other girl gave a mischievous wink from across the aisle.

Eventually the girls got off the bus at the retail park and wandered across to the giant arcade, where they found Silky, Akeria and Vanjie sitting on the long benches just outside the entrance to the lazerquest arena, four identical blue and red slushies in front of them. Brooke noted that Vanessa had plaited her hair, something in the back of her mind reminding her of something she may or may not have once said about liking it when girls wore their hair in braids.

“Yvie!” Vanessa cried, spotting them all first and running over to the birthday girl, giving her a quick hug. “Happy birthday, girl!”

“Thanks, Vanjie,” she smiled bashfully, sitting down on the bench beside Silky and immediately being enveloped in a gigantic hug.

“We got you a slushie!” Akeria smiled, handing Yvie one of the crippling brain freeze-inducing drinks. Yvie raised her eyebrows appreciatively as she sipped it.

“The only birthday gift a girl could ask for.”

“Did these girls do anything cute for you?” Akeria asked, giving Nina and Brooke a stare. “Because you know if they didn’t, you can always come live with us. We’d swap you for Silky, at least maybe you’d clean up the kitchen once in a while.”

Silky went to let out an outraged, loud protest but Yvie spoke first. “They got me cupcakes from Birdie’s so I’m happy.”

“Aw, that’s so cute,” Vanessa smiled, beaming at Brooke from the other end of the table. “Brooke Lynn, when’re you gonna buy me cupcakes?”

“When you stop being insufferable,” Brooke deadpanned, the other girls bursting out into a laugh as Vanessa pouted like a kicked puppy. Just then, Plastique and Scarlet arrived, Plastique swinging her car keys around her finger. The girls said hi to everyone and Plastique explained that she’d given Scarlet a lift on her way here. Brooke watched as Scarlet handed Yvie a card, the other girls making up quick excuses as to where theirs were.

“Guys, it’s fine. I know that none of you broke ass bitches can afford three pounds for a card,” she laughed good-humouredly. As the other girls spoke about just when the hell their student loans were coming in, Brooke watched as Yvie opened the card, Scarlet standing nervously beside her. The front of the card had Winnie the Pooh on it and read “2 years old!”, Scarlet having Sharpie-d on a 0 next to the other digit. Yvie read what was inside, smiled shyly, then without saying anything else wrapped her arms around Scarlet’s waist in a wordless hug. If Brooke leant back a tiny bit, she could read what was inside-

Dear Yvie,

Happy 20th Birthday!

I was trying to Tigger out what to say for so long but I’ll just say- sorry I’ve been acting like a Pooh. I would love nothing more than to make up with you if you’ll Pig-let me. Anyway, Owl stop Rabbit-ing on and say I hope you have the best day ever, you deserve it.

Lots of love,

Scarlet xxx

Brooke pressed her lips together to suppress a laugh. Scarlet was a total dork, but she was a cute dork, and she made Yvie happy. Brooke was glad they’d made up, and she was looking forward to the day that one of them finally fucking admitted their feelings to the other so that Brooke and Vanessa didn’t need to be the targets of their friendship group any more.

The group were interrupted by a man who looked a little too old to be working at an arcade who showed them through to the lazerquest arena. They had paid for two games, and got told the first one was to be a team game. Silky immediately grabbed Akeria and Vanessa, Vanessa hooking an arm around Scarlet too.

“Are we really doing flat versus flat? Really?” Nina laughed, shaking her head. Yvie shrugged.

“Suits me. Let’s kill these bitches.”

They got their packs on and were let loose into the arena, Plastique, Nina, Yvie and Brooke instantly running to a far corner. Yvie immediately started talking an attack plan, maintaining that they shouldn’t run around like lunatics and instead pick four vantage points where they could pick off the girls as they moved. Brooke had to suppress a laugh at how seriously Yvie was taking the whole thing, as the mood she was in Yvie could have very likely killed her. Plastique and Nina ran off to get a position for the game, and Brooke stayed with Yvie. The girls knelt down behind two huge barrels, and the game began, a huge countdown blasting through the speakers and spooky music following immediately afterwards.

“Oh my God, I feel so alive,” Yvie gave an evil laugh as she immediately shot at Akeria, who ran across their line of sight. Brooke bit her tongue to keep from laughing as Silky’s voice echoed across the whole room, outraged at having been shot.

“I haven’t done this since I was about ten,” Brooke agreed, shooting at Scarlet three times and hearing the other girl whine. Brooke cast a glance at Yvie. “So you and Scarlet are fine now, yeah?”

Yvie gave a tiny smile as she scanned her line of sight. “Yeah.”

Brooke couldn’t help but take it another step further. “I have this theory that Scarlet has a crush on you, you know?”

Yvie frowned, shooting at Vanjie who was high up on a different level. “Well I hope not, because that would make things awkward between us.”

Brooke laughed, shooting at Vanjie again immediately as she came back to life and hearing the other girl curse. “You’re a good actor, girl, do you get paid?”

Yvie turned her head to scowl at Brooke. She was suddenly shot at, and turned her head quickly back. “Literally zip your mouth up and don’t open it again.”

“I’m just saying, you wouldn’t be the only ones. Everyone knows I like Vanessa. Apart from her. I think. I hope,” Brooke paused, frowning. Yvie shot once, twice, three times at Akeria.

“Do you know the meaning of zip your mouth?”

Brooke pressed her lips together, reprimanded, and she continued to shoot each time she saw one of the girls on the opposite team until finally, the game ended. They all trudged back to the meeting room, shrugged off their packs and dashed eagerly to the TV in the arcade that told them their scores. Brooke watched as Yvie’s face lit up, their team being declared the winners.

“Y'all cheated, that ain’t fair!” Vanessa complained, flipping one of her dark braids over her shoulder. Brooke felt a small electric shock between her legs as her conversation with Vanessa the other week shot back into her mind. Definitely bratty.

“It’s called playing the game right, you should try it,” Yvie laughed mockingly. Looking back up at the scoreboard, she pointed. “Nina West, though, most valuable player. Well done, girl.”

Nina smiled modestly, framing her face with her hands. “We’ve got fifteen minutes until our next game, that’s time for a slushie, right?”

As Nina, Plastique, Akeria and Silky ran off to get another horrifically fluorescent drink filled with e-numbers and Scarlet and Yvie made their way to a claw machine no doubt about to make twenty futile attempts to win a bear, Brooke and Vanessa were left on their own guarding everyone’s bags at the table. Vanessa sat opposite Brooke, twirling a plait subconsciously and giving Brooke a little smile.

“I like your hair,” Brooke commented casually, Vanessa’s smile growing bigger at the compliment.

“Thanks. I like your outfit,” she beamed innocently, Brooke sucking her bottom lip into her mouth and biting it. This was deliberate. “I always wish I could pull off roll necks.”

Brooke very nearly came out with something akin to you can pull mine off if you want but even that ran the risk of being a bit much for Vanessa. Instead she flipped her ponytail back and shrugged. “It’s an innate gift. You’ve either got it or you don’t.”

Vanessa smirked as if she was holding something back, then dropped it as she looked at the girls all queueing for their slushies. Turning back to Brooke, she pouted again. “How do you win at that shit? I swear I shot people like twenty times and it did nothing.”

“Pick a place to shoot from and then stay there for the whole game. Don’t give away your hiding place. People just run past you. It’s the best way,” Brooke shrugged, Vanessa smiling and drumming her fingers on the table.

“Thanks for the tip, boo. Try not to get killed by me this next game.”

“Gosh, I’m so terrified,” Brooke shrugged, Vanessa scowling comically and kicking at Brooke under the table until she realised she was too short to reach her legs. As Brooke almost keeled over with laughter, the girls returned with their slushies. Just before they were all called back into the arena again, Scarlet and Yvie triumphantly returned with a soft toy Eeyore.

“Shitting Christ. How much did you have to put into the machine until you won that monstrosity,” Akeria rolled her eyes, Yvie all happy and ignoring her.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s the effort that counts,” Yvie smiled, Scarlet hiding a blush behind her hands.

Eeyore packed away in Yvie’s rucksack, game two began. It was a solo game so Brooke dashed off and found a small hiding place in the arena, secretly terrified of Yvie finding her and killing her three times in a row. The minutes of the game ticked by and Brooke stood where she was, shooting at people whenever she could. There was a small lull where nobody seemed to run past Brooke, and she could hear the footsteps of people on the level above her. Brooke looked over to a small vantage point across from her. If she could get to there, she’d be able to shoot at the girls on the upper level.

“God, I’m taking this way too seriously,” she whispered to herself as she ran, suddenly hearing Silky loudly threaten someone with murder and reconsidering.

As Brooke ran into the vantage point and up to the little window, she was shocked as she almost bumped into a dark figure that was hiding in the shadowed corner, who shot at her immediately. Brooke skidded to a halt, rolling her eyes as she realised who it was. Vanessa flicked a braid over her shoulder and laughed smugly, smiling naughtily with her tongue between her teeth.

“Thought you said don’t give away your hiding place?” she asked cheekily. Just then, something inside Brooke melted away, like the feeling of letting go of a balloon and watching it fly high into the air. She took a big step across to the shadowed corner and watched as Vanessa’s eyes grew wide and shimmery, excitement and anticipation twinkling in them. Brooke ran her tongue over her teeth.

“Truce?”

Brooke’s heart almost failed as Vanessa let her gun drop down by her side and slid her arms around Brooke’s waist. “Hmm, I don’t know, baby. What’s in it for me?”

Brooke had a sudden, overwhelming, life-affirming realisation that friends absolutely, categorically Did Not act like this. This wasn’t even friendly flirting, this was complete full-blown flirting, and it was only going to lead one place and Brooke had to hold back visible excitement as she pretended to think, tilting her head up to the sky. “Okay, well…I’m very good at shooting people-”

“Obviously,” Vanessa raised a sarcastic eyebrow, giving Brooke a small squeeze.

“- I came second in the last game…” Brooke paused, taking in the moment before she actually came out with the words that were in her head. “…and I also happen to be a very fucking good kisser.”

Brooke’s heart felt as if someone had turned a key in its ignition as she took in the sight of surprise smacked over every inch of Vanessa’s face, before the dust settled and a wicked glint appeared in the other girl’s eye as she looked down at Brooke’s lips then back up to her eyes. She bit her lip as she smiled at her and Jesus Christ if Vanessa wasn’t the most beautiful person Brooke had ever fucking seen. “Mm…I don’t know, boo, I might need to see that before I believe it.”

Unable to hold back and watch the smirk on Vanessa’s face grow any bigger, Brooke leant in, closed the gap between them and kissed Vanessa deeply, feeling the other girl seem to melt against Brooke’s body as she made a low, contented hum in her throat. It was exactly everything that Brooke had wanted over the past few years, Vanessa’s lips at once new and unfamiliar but also completely addictive, Brooke feeling herself push the other girl against the wall as she kissed her hard. Vanessa brought one of her hands up to her jaw and the other ran through Brooke’s hair, completely messing up her ponytail but Brooke not even being able to muster the energy to care about anything other than taking in every single second of the situation she’d currently found herself in. Brooke felt every nerve ending in her body feel as if it had been set alight as Vanessa trailed one hand down to rub at Brooke’s hipbone through her jeans, Brooke unable to help herself as she bucked her hips gently, Vanessa gasping as she pulled away slightly.

“Jesus, you’re so fuckin’ gorgeous,” she whispered against her lips, Brooke growing absolutely wild and suddenly wishing Vanessa’s hair was out of its plaits so she could grab fistfuls of it and make her cry out. Brooke felt Vanessa’s other hand trail itself down from her hair and Brooke wondered how her heart hadn’t given out by now as she felt Vanessa kiss back against her, wondering if it was in any way acceptable to beg her to finger her in the middle of a fucking lazerquest arena, but Brooke wasn’t in any position to think logically with one of Vanessa’s hands on her hips and the other on her-

Brooke nearly had a heart attack as she felt Vanessa push her off of her, her back bumping against the wall. Shocked, Brooke’s eyes grew wide like a deer in the headlights as she looked at Vanessa, the other girl’s face still completely full of lust as she aimed and fired three shots- one to each of Brooke’s shoulders and one to the huge green target on her chest.

Brooke found herself rendered completely incapable of speech as Vanessa gave a sultry laugh, taking two steps forward to meet her.

“Sorry, Ms. Hytes, but your services are no longer required,” she deadpanned, giving Brooke a quick kiss on the cheek before she walked away, just in time for the lights to come up and the klaxon to sound, signalling the end of the game.

Brooke stood completely slack-jawed as she heard Vanessa say proudly as she walked away, “Bitch! I would make such a fuckin’ amazing spy!”

As Brooke listened to the sound of Vanessa’s footsteps getting further and further away, she touched her cheek, then had to bite her lip to keep from smiling so much.

[theessaflett]

72 Hours (ish) in... MANCHESTER

Your friendly neighbourhood Essa has a look round a city best known for the industrial revolution, bees, and bad weather. 

…The start of my trip to Manchester wasn’t the smoothest.

The only thing I could find to eat at Euston station for my tea before my 19:40 train were chips coated in some sort of suspicious chilli dust, so it was a very queasy Essa who arrived at Manchester Piccadilly a few hours later and wandered around trying to find the exit. (I had in fact been to the station before last October as part of a band tour, but as I was VERY sick and feverish at the time I had very little recollection of the place indeed!) I trundled my suitcase out of the station and off into the night - and my, what a night.  9.45pm on a Saturday night in Manchester is quite the experience, and as Google Maps took me down back alley after back alley I found myself humming ”Just keep swimming, just keep swimming” to myself with increasing speed. One particularly memorable back alley held two sad looking figures, one of whom was violently throwing up behind a bin. 
“You alright, Tim?” called the other one, who was busy trying to use a wall to stay upright. Tim was almost certainly not alright. I left them to it. 

After about 20 minutes of nervous trundling I arrived at Hatters Hostel. It turned out that Hatters was on top of a nightclub, opposite a nightclub, and instead of being part of the Hilton hotel chain as I’d originally surmised it was called “Hilton Hatters Hostel” because it was on Hilton street. I was beginning to regret some of the decisions that had led to this moment. 

Looks nice, doesn’t it. LIES. 

I tried to get the eye of the receptionist, was told I would have to wait as she was “doing the money”, and sat down on the only couch next to a man in gym clothes who had seemingly waited so long he’d passed out. Many minutes passed. In the end I passively aggressively opened and shut all the leaflets next to the desk  - Manchester offers two walking tours and a make your own beer festival, incidentally - and once Sleeping Man had been woken up and his booking put through it was my turn. Sleeping Man had been asked for ID, and I nervously started my explanation that I’d forgotten my passport but had my 16-25 train card when it was cut off by the receptionist. She didn’t really care, it was just a formality. Also, where had I dyed my hair? She’d tried to dye it that colour but it had just gone green and her mum had made her cut it off because green wasn’t an acceptable colour for her sister’s wedding. But now it was purple which was also cool. I murmured positive words about purple, took the key card and headed for the lift, trying to ignore the fact that the floor numbers on the wall were peeling off. I found 104, glad that the door looked less battered than some of the other ones, and after the second time of trying, keyed myself into my home for the next three days.

…The Hatters Hostel website photographer deserves some sort of award for misguiding photography. And possibly to be sued. I was expecting a fancy room, plush and cosy. I admittedly got quite a comfortable bed, but I also was given a TV that had been installed at an angle that meant I would need to be the girl from the Exorcist to watch it in comfort, a broken heater, no main light, no kettle, thin, pathetic towels…and a hell of a lot of noise. Here’s the thing about arriving, at 10.30pm on a Friday night, into a room on the first floor directly on top of a night club and opposite several other nightclubs: it is astonishingly, awe inspiringly, horrifyingly loud. The vibrations shuddered through the floor and up my legs, and my suspicions about the sturdiness of the walls were confirmed when I laid a hand on one of them and felt vibrations shuddering through the brickwork too. Some optimistic soul had put in double glazing on the one, sad looking window, but it was no good: the pounding music was coming up through the bare linoleum floor and in the cracks between said floor and the walls. Friends, I am not so proud as to deny that I had a bit of a disappointed sniffle as I sat on the edge of the bed in the cold, listening to four different nightclub bangers (that all had driving dubstep basses…they sadly didn’t even merge into one pleasing cross-rhythm beat) and trying to reassess my accommodation expectations. The reason for the massive tub of free ear plugs on the reception desk was becoming terribly, horribly clear. After a bolstering call to my parents where I let them know I’d arrived and tried to elicit some sympathy for the damp boombox situation in which I’d found myself (“Well go down to reception and ask if you can get another room then, sitting there moping at me isn’t doing anything”  is arguably the Scottish version of “Aw poor diddums” so I consider the sympathy bid a success) I mournfully trailed back to ground level and put on my best pleading puppy face. It was no good: there were no other free rooms for the whole weekend, he was very sorry, my heater should be warming up at any moment. (this was a lie. I am certain that I had no heating for the full three days.) I grimly stocked up on earplugs and, comforted with the paltry commiseration that the nightclubs shut at 1.30am, went back to my unappealing room. This was it, was it? This is what £264 got you for three nights in central Manchester? Bloody hell. Tried out the shower. It was cold. Went to bed and sulked. (To be fair, several Destiny’s Child and Britney Spears medleys later, the noise did mercifully stop at 1.30am. Which was just as well, as by that point I was fantasising about punching night clubbers.)

Day 1

My main reason for being in Manchester over the weekend was to attend a one-day writing course at the LGBT Foundation  - 2019 may be a year of me writing lots of things but there’s still not much time for writing “just for fun” so I was looking forward to writing anything I liked for a full day! I blearily made my way out of the hostel - glaring at anyone who looked like they might have been making noise six hours earlier - and headed off to the Foundation, stopping at the “park” (a few trees and a bit of squelchy grass does not a proper park make, Manchester) Cafe Nero on my way. This proved a wise move, as soya milk has not yet made it to the LGBT Foundation so I was sadly under caffeinated for the day…

The LGBT Foundation 

The writing day itself was lovely; I enjoyed the chance just to spend time tapping away on my laptop, the other course members were friendly and the heating was on. The only real disaster was lunchtime, when I ordered rice at a nearby Asian to-go place and got noodles instead. I can’t eat noodles. Ended up eating random selections of snacks and showing people my noodles whilst saying sadly, “Look, they gave me noodles!” (Received a satisfactory amount of sympathy from all.) The LGBT Foundation staff were friendly and it’s great that there’s such an extensive support centre in the heart of the Gay Village…my only quibble about the building would be that it was surprising and disappointing to see they only offered Male or Female toilets and there was no mention anywhere of the additional “IAQ+” that I’m used to London folk using most of the time. It would be a real shame if Intersex/Asexual/Non-Binary/Gender Queer young people used the building and didn’t feel like they belonged, when just a few posters and different bathroom signs  would make the Foundation welcoming to absolutely everyone. (Alright, snowflake millennial moment over!)

After the course I headed over to HOME   - stopping off at Pizza Express on the way, where a chatty waitress asked me if I was an artist…I considered creating a new persona but in the end decided I didn’t have the energy - to see the Old Vic production of Wise Children. 

Part of the HOME complex

Although I felt like some elements of the production jarred (why must new plays always include grim scenes of child abuse, incest and/or rape?) and the ending was just bizarre, I thoroughly enjoyed the onstage music and the breath-taking stage design…and the fact that I knew one of the cast members! Paul Hunter from Told By An Idiot didn’t look very different to when I worked with him on Get Happy in 2013 and it was great to see him in action, getting belly laughs from the whole audience as he strutted up and down the stage in full-blown comedic idiot mode.

The brilliant stage design for Wise Children

Getting back to the hostel afterwards proved a little more difficult than anticipated due to a lost Uber driver and there being two Hatters Hostels (naturally I was delivered to the wrong one) but I eventually made it back to Purgatory Room and grimly waited out the Michael Jackson remixes coming through the walls by watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine clips with my head underneath the covers to retain warmth. By 1.20am I was passing the time by fantasising about how I was going to switch on both of my radiators in my London flat when I returned on Monday night and toast myself in front of the two of them until the heat was similar to Barbados in August.

Day 2

I groggily crashed out of the hotel at 11am with only one clear thought: CAFFEINE. Manchester decided to give me a true North of England experience: it was cold, grey, and miserably wet. I tried to find my cafe of choice with some urgency.

Teacup Kitchen Cafe

Teacup Kitchen was recommended as a vegan cafe on Yelp. This, it turned out, was not wholly accurate. Some of their menu was vegan. Very little of their menu indeed was gluten free, but it turned out that that at least was easily rectified as they did have GF bread. As I had clearly stumbled into the Manchester equivalent of Shoreditch the decor was brutally bare, the music was loud and everyone was dressed in black so it was impossible to tell who were the waitstaff and who were just pretentious. (I found this very funny until I realised I was also dressed in all black, at which point I found it slightly less funny and instead wondered when it was exactly that London had turned me into such a hipster stereotype). 

Note the bare light bulbs... 

I ordered poached eggs and avocado on toast, which, this being Northern Shoreditch, came with chilli flakes and raw onion for some reason. I pleaded for no onion but got it anyway, which led to some sad toilet trips later.

General Public Announcement: Food intolerances aren’t just fads, everyone!!!

Who would ruin a perfectly good avocado by dumping a whole load of onion on top of it anyway?! 

Indignant with this most first world of first world problems, I paid an eye-watering £17.10 for what was essentially eggs on toast, a cup of tea and a juice (more expensive that Shoreditch?! Discuss)  and trudged out into the rain once more. …Then hopped into Forbidden Planet, because Forbidden Planet!! For the uninitiated, Forbidden Planet is a magical world of deep nerdy joy.  

If a non-geek person would react to an object by saying, “Oh that’s from that show you like, isn’t it…that’s nice…?”, they probably have it. That being said, they did not have nearly enough Doctor Who or Tim Burton merchandise for my liking and after wandering around having fun spooking all the nervous looking nerdy teenage boys (A woman!!, I could practically hear them whisper amongst themselves. The last time we had one of them in here was in 2009! Darren still hasn’t recovered!!) I headed off to the John Rylands library.

The (rather wet in this photo) John Rylands Library

Now, my understanding of the John Rylands library was that it was one, quite impressive, hall. This proved to be similar to saying that the Titanic was quite big. It was absolutely massive, with four or five main library spaces and lots of awe-inspiring  corridors and staircases in-between, many of which I am certain have been used in Harry Potter films. By pure good luck it was a great time to be visiting, as there were two really interesting exhibitions on about the role of women in literature and society in general. The Women in Manchester exhibition in particular was fascinating and gave a brief but vivid idea of how crucial the women of the city were both in the Suffragette movement itself and in protests before and afterwards. The “Historical Bathroom” is worth a visit too (if you’re as curious as I was about that description, it turned out to be a ladies bathroom that had been preserved exactly as it was when the library opened in the early 20th century. It was fully functioning but very draughty), as is the main Historic Library. 

The magic of the building overall was, for me at any rate, slightly dimmed with the knowledge that it wasn’t actually very old at all, just built in the style of earlier buildings by late-era Victorians wistful for an earlier “Utopian” age of social harmony, unnerved as they were by the unrest and turbulence of the Industrial Age in which they found themselves. I’m sure that most infamous of old-school folk song collectors Cecil Sharp, for instance, would have been delighted by the righteous pomp of the marble statues and stuffy regal halls, the library a grand symbol of an age and an Empire already on the way out when the building first opened.

That said, the John Rylands library is still beautiful, impressive and well worth a trip - just allocate more time than I did! I finished off my visit with an organic cola (would not recommend) from the rather chilly open-plan cafe then tried to decide what to do next. My initial plan had been to go to the Museum of Manchester, but a quick check of their website brought up the unwelcome news that due to renovations the only section still open was “Fossils and Meteorites”, which was not a gallery that exactly filled me with unbound excitement. In the end I decided to go to the People’s Museum instead  - admittedly because it was only four minutes away and, after inevitably going the wrong way and walking round in circles for a bit scowling at Google Maps, I arrived at the brutalist museum in dire need of the loo and a plug socket for my fast-dying phone battery. 

The rather damp looking People’s History Museum 

They had both of those things, so we were already off to a good start when I guiltily ignored the “Use The Stairs, Save Our Environment!” sticker next to the lift and saved my aching legs the climb to the third floor. It became fairly clear very quickly that this was a museum where if you accidentally started the exhibition backwards everything was really quite confusing, but sadly that was what I somehow did on every single floor. (There are still some things that I’m puzzling over, and probably will be forever.) I also started off foolishly presuming that as I was on the 3rd floor I would be going chronologically back in time rather than forwards, but it turned out that there was no such clear organisational system in place for the exhibits: rather, photographs from the 1940s and propaganda posters from the 1880s rubbed shoulders in cheerful harmony. This only added to my overall confusion but gave a nice overall air of linear history being an unnecessary construct of our modern-day society. The writers of the Old Testament would have approved wholeheartedly!

The museum was truly fascinating, and quite shocking in how openly socialist-bordering-on-communist it was in its beliefs; lots of Karl Marx quotes on the walls and leftist liberal exhibit blurbs. I enjoyed it thoroughly -  particularly the excellent section about the Votes for Women movement - and was delighted to find the cafe offered a proper cuppa and gluten free biscuits. This was the life. The museum sadly shut at 5pm (as do many, many things in Manchester) so I was turfed out to wander the wet streets once more. After an accidental detour into a very posh outdoor dining area complete with more decorative lightbulbs than you could shake an over-priced mojito at, I arrived in China Town. My main aim was to get a good photo of the famous China Town arch, but as I achieved that in the first five minutes I decided to also do something else, whatever that might be. 

China Town’s Arch

I’m not sure what I was expecting from China Town, but I was expecting it to be big; instead, unless there were lots of shops hiding from me, China Town was largely just a square - bizarrely, a square built round a car park - with maybe 20 or so shops… and then that was pretty much it. Those shops were wonderful though, and I loved being an unabashed tourist and wandering round a seafood place full of giant tanks of lobsters, supermarkets filled with cans of things you never thought to pickle but apparently are in fact pickle-able… pickled mango was an especially interesting concept… and gazing hungrily at the menus tacked up outside the many Chinese restaurants. (I had no luck. Very not Essa friendly indeed.) 

Instead I settled for a bubble tea from Chatime. I made several bad decisions and ended up with an apple tea with little ball things (??? Tapioca??? Whatever it was they were suspiciously savoury and worryingly chewy) and rainbow jelly. I gave up halfway through as I could feel my teeth beginning to rot. 

Diabetes in a cup. 

Chatime 

After risking my life and health on some questionable 50p Asian sweets - they were covered in sugar and salt and my pathetic Western constitution decided it couldn’t quite cope with this final insult - I finished off my day out with a very nice sit watching the coloured fountain display in the “park” and then going off to somewhere I could confidently expect to be fed: Zizzi’s. 

The very splooshy water fountains. 

...They may have fed me undercooked, over salted gluten free pasta, but it was gluten free pasta never the less, and I trooped back to the hostel fed and happy.

After attempting to write my journal in the communal kitchen next to a group of very noisy Italian twenty-somethings making a very complicated meal that seemed to need lots of loud chopping, banging and semi-regular cheering, I relocated to the communal lounge instead and turned up Royal Blood to eardrum-bursting volumes to drown out the horror film the other two sofa loungers were watching. By 11.30pm even loud rock wasn’t managing to drown out the film and I was beginning to suspect the heating had been switched off as it didn’t seem much warmer than my own little ice box of a room, so I waved the white flag of surrender and beetled off to watch YouTube under the covers once more. Would it be too much to hope that Sunday nights at least were fairly quiet here in nightclub land…? My heading to bed was foiled, however, by the fact that the key card to my room no longer worked. I trailed unhappily back down to the ground floor and explained the situation to an unsympathetic receptionist who said, “Oh it always does that for 104, just try it a few more times” without looking up from his computer. I explained through gritted teeth that I had been trying it for five minutes, thanks very much, and he reluctantly came with me to see what the problem was. I passed the journey by mentioning how my heater didn’t work. “Oh, that heater,” he said without a hint of irony. “Yeah it doesn’t work, it’s just for decoration.” Apparently my room was meant to be heated by a magical vent blowing warm air into the room. I said grumpily that it did not seem to be doing that at all. “Well, it’s 104,” he said with a shrug. “It’s always cold and the door never works. Dunno why, it’s really weird.” As I contemplated the fact that I HAD BEEN STAYING IN THE POLTERGEIST ROOM THIS WHOLE TIME he swiped me through with his master and left me in my Spectre Apartment. I lay in bed in the dark that night pretending very hard that I wasn’t the slightest bit unnerved and listening to the pounding bass coming through the walls (one stubborn nightclub somewhere in the middle distance was subjecting its patrons to Sunday night indie rock) until 1.30am blessedly rolled around and Geoffrey the Ghost and I managed to get some sleep.

Day 3   

By this point I was thoroughly sleep deprived and just generally over the whole staying-in-a-hostel thing, so it was with a happy song that I stuffed my belongings back into my suitcase. It was an uneventful exit from Hatters apart from one heart- stopping moment when a bit of the shower fell off at exactly the same second that the bathroom light went out (…It was just the timed light clicking off and me turning the wobbly thermostat wheel too firmly. But, hey -  let me tell you: when you’re standing there in the pitch dark, naked and alarmed, “ARGH!” is the defining first thought rather than “I’d better wave my arms and get the light to switch back on.) I strode out into the Manchester streets and decided that as I’d had an improvised breakfast of snack bars I didn’t really need anything else apart from a cup of tea, which I could probably get at Chetham’s Library. Second library of the trip, here I came!

After a significant amount of lost trundling, sometimes round in circles, my suitcase and I finally arrived at Chetham’s, which is situated next to a very nice but sadly throughly fenced-off park and an absolutely enormous museum about football. I sat on a little stone pillar, tried to enjoy the park’s water feature despite the massive fence and munched on fruit I’d bought from the nearby M&S (it had occurred to me that I hadn’t really had much in the way of fruit or vegetables since arriving in Manchester, which is possibly a true representation of the Northern diet but it did seem a shame to get scurvy on my weekend off). 

The very picturesque park with a very large fence. 

It was all very nice but I needed the loo  - an ever present theme in my life - so I decided to get a move on and go see the Library. This is when my day went horribly wrong.

I had not, you see, realised that the Chetham’s Library  - unlike the Bodleian Library -  didn’t have anywhere for visitors to dump their suitcases. Worse, the grumpy security guard refused full-stop to let me take my suitcase anywhere near the building whatsoever. What was I meant to do, I asked him with quite poor grace. I had the suitcase. I wanted to go and see the library. Couldn’t he look after it in his little security hut? What if it had a bomb in it? I assured him there was no bomb. No. Absolutely not. I had a suspicious unidentified suitcase. Hadn’t I seen the news recently? Maybe I could see if the station across the road had lockers.

It was an unimpressed Essa that stomped into Manchester Victoria on the hunt for a locker. There were no lockers. The Information Centre might have been a useful place to ask for advice about what to do next, if it had been open. I went to the loo (always a good thing to do in a time of crisis, I find), stared suspiciously at a very creepy statue of a bee in a dress and decided that as I seemed to have found the busy hub of tram travel I might as well get on a tram.

TRAM!!! I thought the trams were very exciting. 

 After trying to buy a tram ticket at a ticket machine for actual trains for an embarrassingly long amount of time I realised that the tram ticket machines were on the tram platforms and navigated the alarming open-track walkway to get to the right bit of the station. (Manchester runs its public transport system from the viewpoint that if you’re stupid enough to cross a walkway without looking left and right first you deserve to get mangled by a massive tram. I only nearly died once, which frankly is quite good for me all things considering.)

I bought my astonishingly cheap £1.40 one-way ticket, tried to tap my paper ticket on the machine for tapping in plastic travel cards and was puzzled for really an unacceptably long amount of time for a 23 year old before I figured out what was going on, and got on my first TRAM!! It tooted to another tram and I felt like I was living my best life. It would have been even nicer if the tram hadn’t smelt of weed and wee, but as most of Manchester seems to smell of weed and wee I accepted my fate. I realised I had previously been unfair on the “park” as we rumbled through it  - there were considerably more trees than I had first thought and the grass looked less mushy. I admired the greenery, noted with resignation that the tram was making me travel sick and then realised it was time to get off! In a…deserted dark tunnel…? I really don’t know what I did, but I found out later there was actually a legit way to exit the tram station, with proper doors and a little escalator and everything, and I most definitely did not do that. I ended up wandering around a tunnel, nearly getting run over at one point when a tram unexpectedly came round a corner (told you I’d nearly got mashed) and finally finished my mini underground journey by being spat out next to the taxi rank. After some seriously bemused searching I found the train station, only to decide that it was actually just too draughty a place to wait out out a few hours and marched down the hill towards the Costa…that was about an 8 minute walk from the Hostel I’d left with so much optimism several hours previously. Ha. Ha. Ha. Isn’t life funny. As I was meeting a friend at Manchester Piccadilly I decided to just call it quits, buy several random Costa snacks to create lunch and have a quiet few hours in the warm before having to heave my suitcase back up the hill to the station for 3pm. Who says I don’t know how to live a wild life…? 

After a very enjoyable catch-up I was back on the train and headed, feeling slightly battered, back to to noise and grime of Euston station. It had been quite the weekend, and I left still unsure of what I thought about Manchester. At times it had seemed ruggedly attractive, the several red-brick old buildings nestled in amongst all the mid-20th century concrete particularly eye-catching, and at times it had just seemed…wet. And a bit grey. 

The whole “bee mascot” thing has, to an outsider, been taken to a slightly unbelievably wild extreme - there were bees everywhere. On walls. On doors. In restaurant and shop logos. On mugs. On bags. On posters. Even on street bins. As someone who doesn’t particularly like bees, this was a bit unnerving.

On the whole, I did like Manchester - and I would certainly visit again, which says something in itself. 

Next stop: My mum and I’s trip to Berlin in April! Where should we visit? 

What Essa saw:

Manchester LGBT Foundation 

https://lgbt.foundation/ 

HOME Manchester 

https://homemcr.org/ 

Teacup Kitchen

https://teacupandcakes.com/

Forbidden Planet Manchester

https://www.facebook.com/fpmanchester/

The John Rylands Library (free entry)

https://www.library.manchester.ac.uk/rylands/ 

The People’s History Museum (free entry)

https://phm.org.uk/

Manchester’s China Town

https://www.visitmanchester.com/things-to-see-and-do/chinatown-p275031

Where Essa stayed (but does not recommend):

https://hattershostels.com/manchester-hilton-chambers/ 

[unwillingkomaedakin]

Entry 1 - June 14th 2020

during school last week, one of my acquaintances (who i’ll refer to on this blog as s if i remember) asked if i wanted to go over to her house for a sleepover. i was sort of over the moon, but also really anxious. it was my first time being individually invited to a sleepover in years. if this makes more sense, when i used to be in a friend group (that was really toxic), they’d have group sleepovers for birthdays and stuff as well as 1 on 1 sleepovers without the rest of the group. i went to a few of the full-group sleepovers, but i myself was never invited to 1 on 1 sleepovers. i’m always the one who has to ask since no one wants to be around me, which is hard for me since i’m really quiet, anxious and shy. no, not shy, that makes me sound cute, nervous fits it better. anyway, so i was somewhat shocked that someone actually wanted to spend time with me outside of school. i was mainly anxious about it, since i have a hard time sleeping somewhere that isn’t my bedroom. my bedroom is like the room version of comfort characters, it’s my comfort room, the only room that makes me feel somewhat safe. i was also really scared it’d be really awkward. anyway, the day came for the sleepover yesterday. i went to s’s house, and it was really nice. her family was good, really nice. i really wish i had a family like her’s, one that got along, didn’t hate, yell at or abuse each other. they were really nice, and really funny, really supportive of s and her hobbies and dreams. her sister is also really nice. what i’d give to have a family like that. 

the first thing we did was s showed me around the house, i ended up leaving my stuff in her room for a while. she had a really big bed. my bed is really small. i want a bed like her’s. her bedroom walls were painted different colors and had stripes. and omg, she had her own private bathroom. i really want a private bathroom, then i’d pretty much never have to leave my room. s and her sister made rice balls for us for lunch, it was my first time having rice, it was pretty good. we watched a bit of beastars on s’s phone, then we looked around in s’s room for a little. s got up her drawing program and told me about this multi-fandom project she was working on. she said she hoped it’d be turned into a tv series, and when i told her that’d be really hard to do due to copyright reasons, she didn’t really mind and remained hopeful. that really warmed my heart, though some of the things about her project confused me due to the amount of details it had. it was good though. after, we went outside to her shed to get blow-up mattresses to sleep on later. the shed was really big, but relatively clean and cosy for a shed. there was a game room with a tv, a couch and a wii. they had a really big caravan that looked cool. i hate travel, i’ve been on a trip in a caravan before, but it still looked cool. s told me that her family was planning on making an art studio for s in the corner of the shed. i wish my family cared about me like that. i should mention, she isn’t spoiled. she’s really nice, i mean she did invite *me* of all people to come to her house after all. she’s really talented, funny. i don’t really feel a lot towards her or have feelings for her or anything like that, but i sort of admire her. after we left the shed, she showed me their old mower which had exploded a while ago. it was really rusty. we saw a baby bearded-dragon outside, and s told me about how she almost stood on a wild snake when her family first moved into the house. 

we went back inside, and she blew up the mattresses with a pump we also got from the shed in the theatre room. i stood there like the idiot i am, not doing anything like usual. i hate myself, i wish i could actually be useful. s brought in a ton of blankets and stuff and we covered our mattresses with them. we played splatoon on our switches for a bit, we played clam blitz on league, and we actually did really well. i actually contributed to my team quite a bit during it, which made me happy. when we had to charge our switches, s asked if i wanted to watch something. s has wanted to get into danganronpa, and i’m already obsessed with it, so i suggest that we start watching a non-commentary playthrough of trigger happy havoc. i love danganronpa, i can play or watch it a million times and still be engaged and never get bored of it. we ended up watching it for hours, with s lowering the volume whenever a character swore since her parents dislike swearing. while we were watching, we were on our mattresses, i was lying down on my back. out of nowhere, s lay down right next to me with our heads pretty much touching. i don’t have feelings for s or anything, but my heart was beating like crazy and i was so happy. i’ve become extremely sensitive to physical contact since i’ve been starved of it my whole life, and when i do get it, it makes me really happy. i think it might do the thing it does when you hug someone or something, where it releases those chemicals in your head that make you happy. that moment only lasted for a few seconds before she moved, but that was a definite highlight of the sleepover. 

in the middle of chapter 1, before sayaka’s body is discovered, we had dinner. we had spaghetti bolognese, and the whole family sat at the table. they were all really nice. they were talking, making jokes and laughing almost the entire time. i want a family like that. i always eat my meals in my room by myself, so this was kind of new to me. after i finished dinner (i was last to finish because i’m a slow eater) we went back to watching danganronpa, and when we got up to the beginning of the class trial, i went to have a shower and s went to get changed since she wanted to have a shower in the morning instead. s let me shower in her bathroom, i’m not exactly sure why, but i accepted and went to her shower. her mom told me she left me a towel on s’s bed. i went into the bathroom, and i looked in her bathroom drawers for a little bit. there was just normal stuff like brushes, dental flosses and pads. i stopped and started getting ready to shower, and after undressing, i realized i forgot to grab the towel. the towel was on her bed, but i was terrified to go get it since i was already naked. after panicking for a bit, i grabbed my hoodie i had taken off (it’s big so it covered my lower regions) and quickly snuck out of the room, grabbed the towel, then went back into the shower. there was no one in the bedroom, but the bedroom door was open and i couldn’t risk being seen naked. i hate my body. her shower was a bit weird, but i liked it. she had a ton of body washes and shampoo bottles and such on the side. i didn’t know which one to use so i ended up using a random one. there was also a small figure toy thing of a goldfish beside the shower. after the shower, i realized there wasn’t a floor mat and the floor would get really wet. i stayed as still as i could while drying off with the towel, then put it on the ground to use as a floor mat. i picked up the towel after i was dressed and left. s was waiting for me on her bed, and after, we went back to the theatre room to finish chapter 1 of trigger happy havoc. 

s said her favorite characters in the introductions were leon, toko and chihiro. when sayaka died, s was happy because she didn’t like sayaka. when i first played trigger happy havoc and sayaka died, i cried for a while so i couldn’t relate to her. during most of the trial, s was certain that toko was the killer since during the investigation, mondo says none of the boys used their toolboxes so s thought the culprit must have been a girl. s guessed pretty early on in the trial that sayaka tried to frame makoto but ended up getting killed, but she didn’t know it was leon, and completely forgot about sayaka’s dying message. during leon’s execution, she cried a bit, which really hurt me, despite me encouraging her to feel emotions during danganronpa earlier. i tried my best to comfort her, but i don’t think i did a good job. after that at midnight, s wanted to go to sleep. i wanted us to watch a silent voice and make popcorn since i had brought popcorn, but since she wanted to sleep, i decided against it. we went to sleep, though it took me ages to fall asleep. i move around a lot when i go to sleep and sleep, but the sounds the air mattresses made were annoying and loud, so i couldn’t move a lot. i have really bad insomnia, so it took me at least an hour to fall asleep. probably longer since i had grown a headache and felt sick from being anxious from not sleeping in my own bed in my bedroom. i kept waking up in the middle of the night. at around 8:30 we woke up, i was really tired. s wanted to make us pancakes, and since i’ve never eaten or made pancakes and knew trying to help would only annoy her, i decided to just sit on the side and play animal crossing. after a while, the pancakes were done, and me, s and her sister ate the pancakes while we watched beastars. i feel like i should mention i’ve already watched beastars, but s and her sister were in the middle of it. the pancakes were good, but i discovered i don’t really like pancakes. i was too scared to ask for toast, so i didn’t eat much. me and s kept watching beastars in the theatre room, and then my mom came to pick me up. 

it was hot outside, and my mom and s’s mom were talking for ages before they decided to split, so me and s had no choice but to just stand there in the sun. after what felt like ages, s gave me a side-hug and i returned it, then me and my mom left. i enjoyed my time there, but i was happy to go back home. my room is my happy place. when i got home, the first thing i did was take a shower since i really felt like having one. i didn’t get to clean myself properly the night before because i was anxious about taking too long. after that, i just did a bunch of random stuff passing the time, like going through reddit, watching my favorite youtubers’ new videos etc. and all that brings us to right now, me making this page and writing this entry. 

i have to go back to school tomorrow, but we only have 2 weeks of school left until a 2 week break. i have a math exam and history exam next week, neither of which i care for too much. i’m mad i have to take them though, i don’t want to. mainly history, i hate history. in my country, we learn about stupid stuff no one cares about in history. we learn the same stuff every single year, it’s stupid. knowing this stuff isn’t going to help us at all. at least in like america you’re learning about past events and presidents or whatever. all we learn about in history in my country is that the white people killed the natives a few hundred years ago. we learned this stuff in primary school, why are we still being taught it in high school? have they just run out of things to teach in history? in that case, just get rid of history as a subject. it’s that easy. oh god, i’ve gone off on a tangent, i’m sorry. i hate going to school. we never got to make popcorn, so i might make it tonight instead. the Komaeda jacket i ordered a while ago has finally been shipped, it’ll get here soon. i’m excited for that. 

[girl-q]

The Originals Season 5 Episode 10: A+ parenting

What a pickle Ladies and Gentleman. They just keep on killing characters. MY GAY BABY AND I`M NOT OKAY. JOSHIEEEEEEEEEEE

Review:

Hope keeps on beating Klaus up to make the Hollow quiet. Since she is not really mad at her dad he goes out and gets the boy she is really mad at. The legend, the vampire, the wheat if he was a bread, the kid that would choose salt as their favourite spice, the one and only Roman Ladies and Gentleman. We abduct curls and Klaus looks him up in a nice and cosy cell and lets Hope go loose on the dude. Wow Klaus really is an A+ dad. Teaching her the important things like family love, probably how to ride a horse and sweet torture.

In the Marcel plotline our wise and graceful leader chooses to check out Emmets hiding place all alone. I don´t know about you but walking alone into a warehouse were a gazillion vampire Nazis are hiding sounds absolutely amazing. No way that could go wrong right? Well false they strap him to a table and take his venom. I don´t get that part with the venom. Is it werewolf? Then so what? There´s Klaus right? I really should pay better attention to everything.

Before my Gayby (Josh) goes to rescue good for nothing Marcel he talks with a frantic Declan, who is totally going on my nerves. Dude just leave. A cute stranger flirts with my baby until he gets reminded of Aiden. Aiden…….Whenever something good and gay happens to me this stupid show takes it away. Joshie goes to rescue Marcel and they all get into a big huge fight. Then I died, because Josh that stupid, stupid, stupid boy got injected with the venom and he really died and I hate it so much, because I rarely hate a death, but this one I hated so much. He is so good and loyal and he was my favourite character. Fuck you. But all this has an upside. He goes into the afterlife, which really confuses me, and gets reunited with Aiden. That was beautiful. I love them and I wish I could love Freelin as much, but I can´t. I just don´t have that many emotions for them or Freya to be brusque and I seem to be the only one. (Later on marcel and this situation)

Meanwhile Roman is locked up. Antoinette texts Elijah. Fuck Antoinette. We are still not rid of that bitch. That horrendous woman asks Elijah to go rescue her baby brother from Hope. This was just such a middle finger to Hayley and Elijah shippers in my opinion. She just died. I still believe Hayley wasn´t his greatest love, but still. They were an important fandom to this whole spiel. Elijah of course tries, because he is so loyal. So loyal. He and Klaus have some conversation about family again and that he is leading Hope to an evil place with all his killings, but let’s move on.

Before coming to the final moments let’s quickly wrap up the Ivy and Vincent story.

I was so sad when she woke up, but she was kinda alive with vamp blood in her system. She rejected the transition and talked about her dad. Vincent showed her that the afterlife sucked for her, because of the ancestral magic pool. So Vincent convinced all the witches to give up their powerful magic, so HIS girl would have a peaceful death. And they all went along with it? Idiots. Not even one person objected? Power is super nice guys. Anyway Ivy died for good now. End for her.

The final moments was when Antoinette and Elijah tricked all the vampire Nazis that they were on their side until Hope and Klaus showed up and Hope destroyed the bastards. She killed them all and made the Hollow stop, because she eventually decided to not kill Romaine Salad. She killed a lot of people. You good Hope? That girl will either develop a serious drinking problem or will need centuries of therapy.

Without her knowing Declan was in the church too and she almost killed him too, but the Irish won´t stay down. What a tough cookie he is.

Hope freaks out and then she gets comforted by Roman and it is cute. We all hate Roman, but it was cute indeed. Doesn´t matter in the end, because according to the laws of the universe our Hope Mikaelson will soon have another romantic suitor and I bet he is a dark moody bad boy with a HISTORYYYYYYYY. Holy shit Roman is in fact Stefan.

Lastly Hope activates her werewolf side because she accidentally killed a dude named Bill and I´m very sad for Bill. He probably had a few plants he took care off and a thriving stamp collection.

Thoughts and Theories:

Marcel is going to go down an interesting path I think. He sees Hope going dark and his best friend/person just died and I don´t know how many friends he has left. Klaus is not really a friend. I think he might come around to the human thing with Rebekah. I think they could get back together. I know them can´t become human again, but I think he will understand her better soon.

Rebekah is also difficult. What she has is an eternity full of misery.

Around the block I heard Klaus is going to try to sacrifice himself for his family and Elijah takes his place. Caroline would be off to the side crying or something. Take this with a grain of salt though. It would be the exact thing like in the Vampire Diaries finale so I don´t know. It would support my Elijah death theory. Though. That´s just a rumour.

I didn´t pay that well attention so why is it bad that Hope activated her werewolf side now? Is she going to destroy the city now like the prophecy said? Is that why they flip out?

Oh and the Vampire Nazis are gone. Wow this season is all over the place with its villains. But I hated them and I still low-key judge them because a lot of them are POC or woman. Guys this is some straight male shit. What is you doing honey?

I´m tired so let’s go to the trailer and the next episode which comes out in a couple of hours.

Trailer/Next week

My girl Davina is back peopleeeeee. Klaus and she are going to try to fix Hope. Yey EVERYONE IS COMING back. The-woman-are-coming-back. Rebekah and Davina. YAYYYYYYYYYY. (Kol too btw) But DAVINA AND REBEKAH. I MISSED THEM SOOOOOOOOO MUCH. I´m crying.

The dark magic is destroying Hope and yeah.

Freelin is going to get married everybody. I saw the pictures and it feel kinda like a rip off of TVD but who cares.

Elijah is going to deal with Hayley’s memory and also Declan just keeps on snooping around. Stawp Lucky Charms. Marcel is going to get involved with that.

And with that we are done. I´m bored

I´m out

XOXO

Q