#lets get you to bed peepaw
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cherrytraveller · 2 years ago
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Depression comes in different flavors which also means different F!Leos so have a comparison between omo!Leonardo and MNMC!Leon from the most F!Leo fic ever by @mutantninjamidlifecrisis
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snowheartsz · 10 months ago
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I think we moved on from this WAY too quickly
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eerieshrimp · 4 months ago
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I don't know why I've been drawing fucked up guys lately but. Have at it.
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fumifooms · 1 year ago
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Marchil crumbs masterpost
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Because I can and I will. Someone already made a tiny one way back but I lost it idk if it was here or on reddit… And we’re so small that we have no tag… I can’t credit you sorry marchil warrior you are not forgotten. I’ll definitely updating this whenever I find a new crumb. We’ve already reached the 30 pics cap part 2 coming soon. They do interact a ton I suppose. As always it’s not because I put moments on here that I’m saying they’re inherently romantic blablabla.
Part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7
My vision: Unstoppable force vs immovable object. Corrupt (money) bitter divorcee and corrupt (magic) hopeless romantic. Emotional constipation vs emotional intelligence. Streets savvy vs prestigious academic. Girl with the longest lifespan possible who has trauma over loss x guy with the shortest lifespan who has trauma over past romance. They would take their romantic interest to the fricking grave.  Halfling vs elf. Emotionally distant vs clingy and needy… Not that Chilchuck doesn’t seek her attention plenty ngl. By all means they are so incompatible and yet their dynamic is so delightful, opposites certainly do attract if Kui’s to be believed because these two constantly drift towards each other.
To me they're the embodiment of "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known". Oh actually that'd apply to Laios and Dunmeshi as a whole as well-
She’s his worst nightmare. Opening up to someone?? The audacity to ask that of him. She raises his blood pressure to dangerous levels. He would risk his life for her.
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HIS WORST NIGHTMARE (what he needs). She's classified as a friend who won’t shut up btw Notice how on the dating sim chapter cover, the clicky hand is always on the choice he ended up choosing in canon except for two, Falin’s and Marcille’s. Meaning he may have hesitated on it, on telling her she was pretty? She’s front and center~
It’s notable that Marcille is the main victim of his teasing, he criticizes Laios and everyone plenty but teasing is done much more towards her than anyone else, and we can see that it is something he enjoys. Perhaps one of the things that put him in a good mood the most, besides alcohol and laughing at others in general lol. Here’s a post compiling a lot of that teasing: link
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He often confronts her about things and teases/insults her but it's always without any real animosity, sometimes having problems with her actions but never disliking her.
She craves his approval? More likely than you think.
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Chilchuck having a sparkly flustered Marcille on his mind and failing to pull her ponytail so she'd give him her attention the right way, then being devastated when she claps back lol. For as much as he teases her, she’s very much able to stand up for herself when it goes too far and to challenge him on some flaws he may have.
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Marcille’s canon shapeshifter of Chilchuck is the most convincing one/last one standing! In which he was nicer because Marcille still had some trouble not seeing him as young and thus innocent. Which besides the whole age thing, her having an accurate but nicer version of Chilchuck in her mind is pretty flattering lol
In the earlier chapters they stick by each other the most, often sharing knowing glances and judging the other together. They share this complicity and "wow finally someone sane in this party" energy that none of the others have in quite that way. Comrades in disgust.
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He cannot escape her gossip, she will not rest until she knows all and has met his family and romanticized his life and relationships. She’s the one who pushes Chilchuck to be more open about himself the most. Which, we do also see her being jealous when Chilchuck opens up more to others instead of her, like pic below. Moreover, we see that she’s able to read him like a book to the point that it freaks him out!! Oh the horror of being known… Relationship goals, freak him out bc you understand him so well Oh can I just point out as well that they're the only ones who saw each other's succubus. Like wow knowing each other's most alluring form? Dayum
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When doing her theory about what happened between him and his wife, the pictures where her roleplaying as his wife, like literally with her being a half-foot like in the changeling chapters and the mini chilchuck for a baby lmaooo. Which I just now realized that means Marcille’s question about if his wife has blonde hair is valid, we technically don’t know if he already liked blondes or if it’s an acquired taste. Give me a sec to recover from that-
But yeah Marcille is so people-obsessed that she catalogues every little detail about someone, like how Chilchuck complains when he has to wait after someone… She notices things and takes them in stride even if they’re flaws. (In first page, it's the bottom row middle panel)
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She wanted to sleep in his bed when Izutsumi was being clingy and she didn't want to sleep alone <3
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Here he goes to her to either help her stay upright or comfort her… Uncharacteristic of him but very sweet. What are you gonna do if she collapses on you big guy, collapse along in a show of solidarity?
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He's been shown to make sure Marcille stays safe a few times as well, like below. No I will not accept "she's the healer of the party" as a full explanation. He really does get an arc, from not wanting to be anywhere near the battlefield to sticking by his party members. Unlike Laios, Senshi and Izutsumi they both tend to hang in the back in battles, I love how they often strategize together as well.
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The reverse is also sometimes true. Especially with how non-shy Marcille is with physical contact, interestingly she's way less delicate about saving others than him lol.
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He’s the only one shown to flinch when she makes a noisein the bath which leads me to think he’s the one most flustered by the whole Marcille changing and bathing close by thing, it prob doesn’t help that he has great hearing but yeah, he seems to be hyperaware of her presence in those instances and overreacts.
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"Come with me and braid my hair every day!" Meanwhile Chilchuck is fighting for his life holding her at an arm’s length
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I can’t believe this is on his ADVENTURER’S BIBLE DESCRIPTION like that thing is one big paragraph about his whole character and you allotted that important limited space for this. Kui do you hear yourself
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Part 2 here
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justkillingthyme · 6 months ago
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Desmond sleepwalks and sleepwalks but in the way that he looks totally mostly lucid. Sleepyaps *azran legacy spoilers*
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iidgm · 9 months ago
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Follow up, he has a weak heart (old) and a weak heart (given a gift by a child)
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the way roxie could have been charged with critter manslaughter and sent to critter prison just for that gift . . .
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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Kashiwagi has this kind of scowl on his face 24/7 while he's in the yakuza (Y0-Y3), but in Y7 the bartender has a lot more relaxed base expression. Bro didn't have a resting bitch face after all, he just needed glasses this entire time.
bro he got big ass frames he's just hiding the scowl
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dokoni-mo · 2 years ago
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Reader: I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life
William: I know this, and i love you
LMFAOOO OMG BRO I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS WITH THEM LIKE THIS MORNING THIS IS SO FUNNY
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will and reader when he discovers what texting is
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kekisu · 2 years ago
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ok last childe post before i go to bed. i think he is very tall like 6'3 honestly he gives off the energy of someone that hits his head on the top of doorways cause he still for some reason cant comprehend how fucking big he is
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cherrytraveller · 2 years ago
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Leonardo VS Leon of @mutantninjamidlifecrisis​
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BONUS:
they hate it here
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gutsby · 2 months ago
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Make It Stick
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Pairing: Old!Joel x Reader
Summary: Joel never thought he’d need a vasectomy. Then, one night, he accidentally finishes inside you.
Warnings: 18+. Unprotected-peepaw-p-in-v (I’m sorry). Accidental creampie. Age gap. Cumplay. Breeding kink. Ovulation has led me places I wouldn’t go with a gun.
Note: Convergence is a painting by Jackson Pollock. We studied it in high school and I thought it looked like jizz idk
Word count: 4.7k
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He should’ve gotten snipped when he had the chance.
Should’ve taken the plunge, faced his fears of needles and fluorescent-washed doctor’s offices like any man his age could have done and gotten the damn vasectomy. Now he was here, nearly two decades older and still none the wiser in this cold, dead world with a pretty young thing like you between his sheets. In lieu of elective surgery, Joel Miller had only to grit his teeth, bite hard, and repeat over and over again in his head, desperate:
‘Don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, DON���T—’
Words like those normally worked. With women that weren’t you, they tended to serve him exceedingly well.
But you were just so tight. And wet. And welcoming. And try as Joel might to pretend like he got laid on a regular basis, the truth was that he didn’t. Wouldn’t. Couldn’t seem to think straight when it came to this fixation he’d developed for you, so, instead, he let his dick do all the decision-making whenever he found himself around you. Ten times out of ten that ended in:
“J-J-Joel—oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck—I’m gonna CUM.”
And that made it worth every last life-endangering drop.
Feeling how your flushed, lithe body came apart beneath his touch. How you needed him. How your eyes grew to half the size of your face and you gaped up at the man, lips parted, like you couldn’t even comprehend how the friction of seven inches could make you feel so good.
If he had it his way, he would’ve loved nothing more than to show you that feeling every night, and twice the next morning if his hip wasn’t giving him too much trouble.
But, at present, the man had bigger fish to fry. Like not becoming a new father at fifty-nine if he could help it.
With the last two fluttering pulses of your heat, and almost going cross-eyed from the pleasure as he felt it, Joel yanked his big, slippery cock out of your body and made a fist around his member as he always knew to do. Tugged and pulled and grunted above you—‘Sweet girl, you’re so fuckin’ good to me’—and watched your tits and your belly for the milky white ropes to ensue.
Strangely, though, your skin stayed the same.
No cum-spray Convergence appeared before him, no opaque and cloudy fluids dribbling down your ribs, nothing. Your stomach was as bare as the rest of you, save for a few beads of sweat, and that was all there was.
Joel shook his dick harder, confused. Beneath him, you were still coming down from your high smiling ear-to-ear and staring blissfully at the ceiling. Your chest rose and fell, rose and fell in quick succession, and while you endeavored to recollect your mind, Joel was losing his.
Where the FUCK was his cum?
In no naked horizontal tango to date had Joel simply…cum without noticing. Shit like that just didn’t happen to men, least of all to ones his age, so when he’d wrung his poor cock like a sodden towel and still saw nothing come out, he felt his stomach turn and plummet inside him.
He dropped to his hands and knees in less than a moment and lowered his head between your legs.
“No, Joel!” you squealed, giggling. Kicking your feet, “Another round and I’m gonna combust, you old perv!”
But Joel wasn’t looking to get his dick wet again. He was inspecting you. Or trying to, anyway. Quickly realizing he couldn’t see a thing in the darkness, he let out a breath through his nose and lifted you off the bed. Your naked frame thrown over his shoulder, bare hip beside his head and your strangled, muffled cry of, ‘What the hell, Joel?!’ hardly seemed to register with the man carrying you off.
You were toted to the bathroom. Joel was about to ease you down on your feet. Then, appearing to change his mind at the last second, he set you onto the sink instead. Your skin bristled with indignation, anger. A little arousal.
“Last time we did it on a sink we broke the faucet,” you reminded him, feigning more dismay than you really felt inside. If anything, you liked it when your fossil-age fuckbuddy switched things up. You were just exhausted.
Heedless of your words, Joel kneeled on the floor and pried your legs apart before him. When you swatted at his silver-flecked head, he brushed your hand away.
“Hold still,” he grunted.
“How come?”
“‘Cause I said.”
How quickly he commanded that tone of a father.
“Wanna sleep,” you groaned, about to roll your eyes.
But you couldn’t deny you liked being doted on by him.
Joel’s touch was gentle. Probing. Spidering down the most sensitive parts of your bare lower half, between your thighs, and slowly coaxing you closer to the edge of the sink. Your breath hitched when you saw his head tilt.
He appeared to be deep in thought—a rare sight for anyone who’d seen Joel Miller in the postcoital state. Most every time he’d blown his load before, the man was dead asleep within ten minutes. His joints could barely hold himself upright after a half hour of plowing the back forty, much less carry you, too, so you were puzzled now.
He thumbed at the seam of your cunt, and you whined:
“Jo-el—”
“Can ya…push, baby?” His eyes flitted up quickly.
“Push?”
“Yeah, just…” With a look you couldn’t quite read, he placed the palm of his other hand on your belly. Then, pressing, “Like this. Like you’re squeezin’ somethin’ out.”
You cocked a brow in muted confusion but did as he asked. You watched his gaze, and it stayed on you.
Or, rather, on that soft and pliant spot between your legs the old man seemed to favor so much. On any other occasion, in a position like this, he surely would’ve been wearing a smile. Tonight, his lips curled into a grimace.
And twisted even further when you ‘pushed’ like you did.
At first you felt nothing. A gentle clench of your walls supplied little more than a sense of having been stretched—no novel concept to you, who’d spent the last three-and-a-half months or so getting fucked by the finest AARP affiliate alive most every night. It wasn’t until you clamped down again that you got the feeling there was something else. Something thick and warm and slow as molasses trickling out from between your folds.
You let out a low, tender, ‘Mmph’ without meaning to; it felt kind of nice. Beneath you, Joel’s face turned grave.
He watched as his spend oozed out of your freshly-fucked hole and thought of vasectomies again.
You were young—too young to know better. Too sweet and naïve to see any peril in spreading your legs for a man like him, in a world like this. And Joel swore he’d be careful. But no post-apocalyptic birth control method was perfect, or even close to it, and it was clear he’d relied too heavily on reflexes to keep him from cumming inside you. Joel was old—too old to be doing this shit.
Too grown and well-versed in sex to be making mistakes as stupid as that. His brow pinched in, and he drew his next breath as if the air around him was growing scarce.
“Joel, what’s—”
“When’s the last time you— you— uh…bled?”
Hardly more in control of his face than the rate his heart went thudding in his chest, Joel winced at the end. This time, you were the one to knit your eyebrows together. You could tell by that tight, discomfited tone he wasn’t talking papercuts, but were still unsure of his purpose.
“Like two, two and a half weeks ago. Why?”
Well, fuck.
Joel buried his face in his hands. You scooted closer to the sink’s edge, thinking little of his cum leaking out.
“Why?” you tried again. Softer this time.
An old, weathered head lifted to greet you. It was bleak.
“You see this?” Joel paused. Swiping his finger through the viscous white substance that had trickled out on the counter, in a puddle now, “Y’know what it means, right?”
You let his look, and the question, remain suspended in air for a second. Then another. Then you shrugged.
“Yeah. But…you’re old,” came your answer at length.
You’re old.
Joel and you both knew as much, but the former wasn’t quite following your train of thought. Still wanting to try and mitigate damages while he could, though, Joel reached for the roll of toilet paper that was fastened to the wall and tore himself a strip. He bunched it up and, reaching for one of your knees to spread you further for him, took to daubing the tissue across your entrance.
“What’s me bein’ old got to do with anything?” A little sharp, then, seeing you flinch when he drew too close to your clit, “‘m sorry, baby, just— gotta get this out of you.”
You made a face but let him continue anyway. Your eyes followed each movement of his hand, and reflexively, the muscles in your thighs tightened. Why bother with this when the man has so many better uses for his hands?
For a second, your eyes fluttered half-shut.
“Maria says old folks are, uh…infertile. Got something to do with a middle pause,” you said, breaths labored.
Joel stopped just long enough to shoot you a look.
“Menopause,” he corrected, all too matter-of-fact, before returning to his work, “is a woman thing.”
What the hell were they teaching in Jackson’s sex ed classes, anyway? Then Joel remembered how his brother sincerely believed that women peed out of their vaginas until he was twenty-three, and the thought of you not knowing the ins and outs of male virility wasn’t the most far-fetched idea in the universe. Besides, sexual health wasn’t exactly the community’s highest priority when the world around it was in a perpetual state of decay and hordes of fungus-faced fuckers ran rampant in the wild.
He curved a tender, careful finger against the ring of muscles framing your sex, trying to absorb more cum, and your grip on the edge of the countertop tightened.
“S-So, you—” You swallowed, throat constricting a little too, “You’re sayin’…men can make babies…whenever?”
You sounded so innocent as you said it. Joel wanted nothing more than to club himself over the head for being the cause of this predicament—of being such an instrumental part of the perceived corruption, as it was.
Meanwhile, your head was swimming in filthier thoughts.
Deeper, Joel, keep…pushing in…dee-e-per. You would have scarcely had more luck giving a fuck what Joel was talking about now than if he’d just said the room was on fire. By his voice, you knew you should’ve been paying attention, but the dexterity of his fingers was too much. He was caressing the first couple inches of your inner walls, attempting to scrape what bits of his release he could get unstuck from the flesh, but it seemed he was succeeding mostly in just turning you on. Rendering you deaf to the drone of his words as you pictured him pushing something else inside your tight, throbbing—
“—whole lotta problems for us if you’re, uh…ovulating,” Joel finished, expression taut and oblivious. You hadn’t heard the first part of that sentence and didn’t care to.
“Ovulating,” you repeated slowly. Indifferent.
Joel carried on without a hitch.
“Kids just ain’t fit for this world. I know you know that.”
You nodded along, not hearing a word.
“And if you’re— if y’ever did consider, maybe…”
Your lungs took an extra sharp inhale when Joel’s fingers coaxed out a warm, sticky glob of his load, and he petted your folds with his thumb. Then let out a breath himself.
“…y’oughta start a family with someone your own age—”
That part snagged your attention. Too swiftly, it came:
“My own age?”
Sighing, in spite of those welts of pleasure so heightened by his touch that the space between your legs began to throb and ache. Hardly possessed of more sense to form words that weren’t just echoes of his own, you tried communication from a simpler source—your foot.
You nudged his shoulder, and Joel looked up.
“What?”
“What?”
Parroting was, evidently, a hard habit to kill. Your toes curled into the bare skin of Joel’s shoulder, and when he re-inserted his finger, you ground your heel even deeper.
“When’s that ev…ever stopped us from doing it before, hm?” you said, tone strained but laced with some humor too, “Thought you liked sayin’ you’d make me a mama.”
Joel’s face flooded pink at the recollection—as a matter of fact, there had been several such memories. Instead of answering immediately, he just averted his gaze again. He anchored one hand to your thigh, and with the other teased out another string of your shared arousal before wiping his finger on the tissue, clinically, and repeating. All he had to offer in reply after was: ‘That’s different.’
And it was, to some extent. Joel wasn’t blind to the sea of uneasy looks that trailed behind you both whenever you walked the streets of Jackson together. How wide the eyes would get when instead of observing some filial display of affection play out before them, as expected, you’d loop your arms around his waist and take his lip between your teeth as you kissed—‘Can we please go home now, baby?’—that Joel was certain he’d been cemented as the resident pervert among everyone in town. Just how much worse that reputation was liable to get if there ever happened to be a round and swollen belly between that embrace someday was unthinkable. Dirty talk was one thing; parenthood another entirely.
This is for the best, became the low, grating refrain in his skull. Why he dug so hard, pushed so far inside the wet, velvety interior of your body without a thought for his own desires in that moment; he had to cull every trace of himself out of there, before he had half a chance to think.
“Baby, hey, hey, no—” Joel cut in a second later, abrupt.
No, no, no. You weren’t thinking either. Wrapping your hand around his wrist, pushing his fingers deeper inside.
Smiling a little, too.
“What are you— no, honey, don’t— you can’t,” Joel’s words splintered in every direction, watching you plunge his own index and middle fingers into the slick and the warmth he’d just been trying to get his cum out of. He looked up and saw your lids were heavy, about to close.
“What are you doin’? This ain’t…no, baby, it ain’t…safe.”
Back to sounding like a dad in no time at all.
“What’s wrong with leaving it in a bit longer? Feels nice.”
You had no idea what you were talking about. Joel pulled back on his hand and, in less than a second, had it freed.
“I just told you,” he huffed, “You’re too young—”
“I’m plenty old, Joel,” you returned, eyes snapping open, “You’ve shown me that more times than I can count.”
Joel was silent, stunned. He rose to his feet as your eyes seared holes into his, and for a second, he was uncertain whether to take a step back or reach out for you again.
“Baby…”
To his surprise, something like hurt surfaced behind your eyes. You set your lips in a tighter line, and your grip on the counter grew firmer just the same. He would’ve taken that move as his cue to lean in gently, slot his body between your thighs, and venture an apology of some sort, when the next thing you did stopped him cold.
Without a word, you slipped your free hand between your legs—eyeing Joel closely, almost scornfully, as you did.
You took your middle and ring fingers and sank them into your cunt. Not intending to let a drop of his spend leak out, you wedged them in as far as they’d go. Joel watched. Gawked. Once sufficiently pleased with the look of shock taking over his handsome, aged features, you withdrew the fingers. You brought them up to your mouth, wrapped your lips around the tips, and sucked.
It was a rare thing to get a taste of you and Joel together like this, so you savored it. You moved your mouth further down to drink it all in, peering up with wide, indulgent eyes and a look that was meant to punish.
Feels nice.
Tastes alright, too.
You’d licked the last bit of this glaze off your hand when your stomach clenched. You knew it would happen. Full as you were, you feared your body still hungered for more. As such, it hardly came as a surprise when next your muscles tensed, and you shifted closer to Joel.
“Maybe I don’t want babies with someone my own age.”
Either one of your knees were nudging his hips. Drawing him in. Joel appeared to waver for a second, unsure, but the look on his face made it clear this was mostly a matter of a delayed reaction. He couldn’t get his legs to move because the rest of him was still in awe. Staring at your lips, where the residue of his spend was glistening, then to your eyes, which were no less inviting, then up to the crown of your head and over it, to fix his stare on the mirror behind it. You watched him watch his own reflection with a look that was both hard and unkind, breathing slow. When he didn’t stir from that position after a minute, you touched a hand to his lower stomach.
And, brushing the heel of your palm against what felt like a hundred grey hairs in the old man’s happy trail—your favorite ones—you smoothed a caress along his belly, back and forth, before moving it left. Your hand came to rest on a mound of muscle and fat sitting right above his hip. Love handles, Joel had remarked one morning with vague distaste. Love handles, you’d repeated, beaming. You held on tightly now, appreciatively, and used your well-loved wall of flesh to pull him closer. As with any beckoning of yours, Joel didn’t have so much as half a mind to resist. He did, however, refuse to meet your gaze while you tilted your hips and spread your legs wider, before winding your ankles around the backs of his legs.
“Don’t you think I’d look pretty?” You pouted up at him. Your folds made a light, warm suction rubbing along the front of Joel’s cock—of course he’d grown hard again, and you could hold him, point him down to that wet embrace awaiting him patiently at the edge of the sink.
Joel cursed under his breath.
“‘Course I do…” he said, voice hoarse, “Y’always look—”
“I mean…with your baby inside me, Joel. Right here.”
As if to put a finer point on your words, you nestled the head of his cock inside the first inch of your body. Joel had to seize the laminate underneath you and grit his teeth to keep from letting out a groan too loud. That tip may as well have been a first-rate conductor of heat, and your warmth the thing that might send him spilling again
“You don’t—” Joel choked out, nearly incensed, “—don’t know what the hell you’re sayin’, baby. What that means.”
In truth, there wasn’t a world Joel Miller could imagine where a girl like you could give more than a passing thought to getting knocked up by him—a man his age. What good would it do? You had your whole life laid out before you like a four-course dinner spread; there was no sense whatsoever in letting the meal go to waste on him.
He communicated as much by moving to pull out.
You met the effort with a push of your own, sinking down another inch or two on his shaft and smiling when you saw his eyes roll back in his head at the dizzying friction.
“I know more than enough, old man—” Grin stretching ear-to-ear as you dug your heels in his ass and tugged him deeper, “—who do you think taught me all this?”
Of course, it had been Joel.
Always, always him—the only one, in fact.
Your walls drew him in like a hug. For once, Joel conjured up the strength to take a look between your lower half and his, and when he did, the next moan was inevitable. It trickled through his lips. Your body looked sublime swallowing a third of his cock, and it was almost as though a maggot had crawled into his brain, chanting:
‘Make her full. Make her yours. Tell any man who’d even think of looking her way she belongs to someone else.’
He couldn’t.
Joel would never be so selfish. Just think of her youth.
But when his gaze drifted back to yours, every thought and any word besides seemed gently to melt away. Beneath him, your eyes were two pools of desire.
“You like this…don’t you, Joel?” Your voice was tiny.
“I do.”
In fact, he loved it.
“Then why can’t we?” Why shouldn’t we?
Minuscule now, the words that reached him barely exceeded a whisper. It was as though the moment itself had drained all fear from your face—and out of Joel, all common sense from his brain—leaving you both to stare at the other with shared, stupid, anoetic looks of bliss. The man who had you beat by thirty-odd years seemed nearly of the same mind, with almost identical ignorance.
Idiocy.
“Just once?” Joel croaked.
Somewhere underneath, unseen, you smiled.
“Just one?” you murmured back.
He sank in another inch. When your walls contracted around him, Joel’s hands found your hips by force of habit and pushed your back against the glass behind it. The mirror was cool, and inside you, Joel was throbbing.
“Once,” he repeated, not thinking too deeply.
“One,” you said, with a world of more purpose.
Joel relinquished the last three inches, and with it, all of his resolve. The handsome, scarred, and plainly greying features all twisted as one, and the expression that you knew too well to mean that the man was feeling good took on the slightest hint of guilt. He gripped you tighter.
“One?” Joel panted. Confused.
He pulled out halfway just to find his home again. Your pearly slick mixed together with his spend, and both coated over Joel’s shaft in a pretty, generous sheen.
“One more of you, I mean.” You sounded too sweet. There was no way in hell you’d actually meant it.
Joel’s cheeks flushed again, but he didn’t stop, either.
“Baby…” he trailed off instead. He pushed in, pulled out, felt your tender little hole make an ‘o’ around his shaft, and then he kissed the edge of your left cheek—maybe to rein in the need in his words before he spoke again: “One’a me takes and I’m givin’ ya fifteen more, y’hear?”
The smile he received told him as much as he needed to hear. He probably wouldn’t have believed it even if you’d said the words yourself. Joel’s thrusts sped up, and as the pleasure distended in the pit of his stomach with the friction and the feel, his words flowed a little more freely.
In disbelief, “Wanna be a mama that bad for me, huh?”
Your grin grew bigger. You nodded your head.
“Make your old man a daddy, is that it?”
Exactly. Senseless as it was, your look said it all.
To have slipped between the grooves and ridges of Joel’s brain and caught wind of even a fraction of the things he wanted to do to you then, a smarter girl would have run. Would have shoved him back out as swiftly as she’d let him in and told him no, that’s gross, and gone home. And, had the grey matter floating inside your own skull not been so completely dominated by primal need and wanting, that’s likely what you would have done, too. Instead, with a head full of lewd, youthful stupidity, you seized the black-grey curls dangling at the nape of his neck and drew him closer. You spread your legs wider.
“That is what you’ve wanted this whole time, right?”
Under his scruff, a muscle tensed as Joel bit down.
That’s all he’s ever wanted.
Let the neighbors talk.
Let them say what they wanted to say—it was probably all true to the point they were trying to make, anyway. That Joel was a pervert, of course. That you were naïve, also true. That you would look too good not to stare in a white cotton frock with a bump underneath, absolutely. These were the ideas permeating your brain and his while Joel took a firmer hold of your sides and brought his nose to rest against yours. With every stab of his hips, he pressed kisses to your soft, parted lips, speaking low:
“That what you want, too, darlin’?” More serious now.
The head of his cock nicked a sensitive ridge inside you, eliciting a whimper, but you nodded. You nodded again, feeling the brush of his stubble at your mouth and your chin, and nodded again when he bottomed out, stuffing you tight. It felt a little more momentous than any other time in the past, now that you were picturing a fullness that wasn’t just him. Him and you: a concrete being to soothe the sting of his absence long after Joel withdrew.
Something to stick.
“Please say it, baby.”
Someone to call yours.
“I want it,” you said, sounding desperate.
A coil was just starting to form in the place you felt him. Drifting up, pulling tight, making your eyes go glossy and wide while they stuck to Joel’s and begged him for more.
“Want what?” He sped up, and his thrusts got sloppy.
“Want you,” you breathed, “Inside me, Joel, please.”
As if predicting your next thoughts, the man lowered his hand to your belly. You hadn’t even noticed the smallest bulge had taken shape beneath the skin. Joel slowed, momentarily, then rubbed the base of his palm against the mound where your body was obliged to make room for his cock inside you. He drew soft, tender circles there and, with the motion, sent stars flying before your eyes.
“Good girl,” he murmured, “Right here?”
“Ri— right there. Right there.”
Joel adored that sound. The soft, elated look, the gentle knoll of flesh in a bump below his hand, the whimpers rolling off your tongue repeatedly, quicker and quicker the more the pleasure inside you continued to build. Joel’s release was coming soon, too. For the hundredth time that night, he silently wished he were a little younger; so he could fill you up once, twice, twenty more times until your insides were stuffed and painted white. As if reading his mind, as he had for you, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.
“Hope our baby has your eyes,” you murmured to him.
It shouldn’t have had such a strong effect—but of course, it did. Joel pictured the small, sweet infant with irises that shone a bit like his, and his stomach caved in.
Tonight, tomorrow, or ten months down the line, he was getting you pregnant. He’d clear his whole schedule for it
“That right?” And now he couldn’t stop the smile as he spoke, leaning even further in, “What about their nose?”
He kissed the tip of yours.
“Hope they get this.”
He kissed either one of your cheeks.
“These too.”
You had to fight back a laugh while his scruff tickled skin. Two deep strokes away from the brink of release and he still somehow always stayed in tune with your needs.
The threat of your peak was perilously near. Joel’s spend and your slick, tender glaze made a chorus of sounds at each thrust, and the deeper he went, the bigger it swelled. Your smiles couldn’t stay for much longer when the feeling inside you both was being amplified like that. Sensing this, Joel took hold of your face and slipped his touch to cup your chin. He made you tilt your head up to him, as if to ask again, ‘Are you sure?’ and when you nodded, his lips twitched again. A fleeting hint of a grin, like he couldn’t be more eager to finish now if he tried.
Holding your face, cock swollen and throbbing and desperate between your walls, he felt a familiar twitch.
There it is.
5K notes · View notes
nicksolemnlyswears · 2 months ago
Text
JUST TEASIN’
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summary: you call joel an old man…amongst other names
pairing: joel miller x reader
word count: 4.4k [i need to learn how to keep things concise]
warnings: 18+, cursing, spanking, p in v, fingering, oral (male receiving), age gap? totally legal though, joel's in his early 40s and reader is in her early 30s, joel is an ass guy which is strange cause i always make my men boob guys, idk i guess this is pretty tame
a/n: as a joke i tend to call pedro and joel peepaw cause he’s older and a total dilf but i love these men so fucking much. i'll be the first to get on my knees
thought i’d make a sweet oneshot about how they’d react to you calling them old. it’s a mix of fluff and smut. a little something for everyone!
also don’t judge me, this is my first time writing for joel 🥺
there’s a little nudge to another favorite fictional men of mine
i want to thank @yxtkiwiyxt for providing me with all the pedro pascal pictures and gifs and movie trailers and for ranting with me all day every day about how amazing this human is… if anyone is to blame about this oneshot it’s her ❤️
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It’s one of those lazy Sunday mornings where everyone sleeps in, leaving the Miller household at complete ease. There are no responsibilities to tend to and nowhere to go.
You’re the only one awake, singing quietly under your breath and flipping pancakes until they’re nice and golden. Joel will come seeking you out soon, missing the warmth of your body and Sarah will follow when Joel cracks her door open to let the sweet smell of batter waft into her room.
No matter how hard you try you’re always the first one up. Sometimes you stay in bed with your husband, tracing figures on his bare skin until he pulls you into him and kisses your head good morning, raspy voice begging you for five more minutes.
But most of the time you decide on getting up and having an early start to your day, which includes making breakfast and sorting through your work emails.
The puppy Sarah adopted a couple weeks ago, sits on your feet, licking your legs as if begging for the fluffy sweetness of the pancakes. He had a taste of it when batter dripped on the floor, he licked it up before you had the chance of cleaning it.
Lost in your little world, singing to the tune of Lana del Rey you fail to notice your husband coming down the stairs. Joel leans against the kitchen island admiring you in your distracted state. The loose brown curls in a disarray at the top of his head.
His eyes scan you from head to toe, noting your messy hair pulled up to a half ponytail half bun thing he can’t begin to explain. Down they go to the cropped tshirt with his company’s logo on the back. The frayed edges are the byproduct of your use of kitchen scissors to crop it yourself.
Joel bites his lip as he ogles at your ass and thick thighs framed by the tiniest cotton shorts he’s ever seen. They fail to cover the bottom of your butt cheeks, exposing a sliver of the indigo panties and the crease where thighs meet butt.
Unable to stay away, Joel wraps his warm arms around your waist as he presses a kiss to your temple. He squeezes you to him, bodies pressed flushed to reveal the stiffness in his pajama pants.
The puppy wags his tail in the presence of his favorite human, standing on two legs to call his attention. The man didn’t want him in the first place but was out voted by the females in the household.
“Morning,” Joel murmurs, placing kisses all over your cheeks and down your neck until he finally presses a warm kiss on your shoulder where he rests his chin to look over at the stovetop.
“Morning old man,” you say with a giggle as his scruffy beard tickles your skin. Your lips press against his in a quick kiss, muffling his sigh of disappointment.
“Don’t start, sweetheart,” he warns. His lips brushing against your ear. Joel’s hands find themselves under your tshirt, his thumbs ghosting over your underboob. At the same time the fingertips of his other hand teasingly dip on the waistband of your shorts.
“Or what?” You say with a bite to your lip, flipping over the last batch of pancakes. Couple more seconds and they would’ve burned—that’s how much he distracts you.
“It’s too early for this!” Sarah’s high pitched voice yells. “Not in the kitchen and not in front of the baby, please!”
The puppy scrambles over to Sarah, jumping into her arms. He recognizes she’s the one who will cave and give him scraps of food.
Joel, startled, takes his hands off of you, facing Sarah with an apologetic smile, not that she sees it as she covers her eyes with a hand. “Are you decent? Can I look now? I’m really hungry if you don’t mind.”
You laugh loudly, shaking your head at Sarah’s dramatics. She takes after Joel and is well on her way to beat him at his own game.
“We’re not doin’ anythin’,” Joel mumbles, sitting on one of the kitchen island stools and petting the pups fluffy head, and the ear that flipped over cutely.
“Not yet,” you whisper to him as you place his stack of pancakes in front of him.
“I heard that!” Sarah yells, covering her ears this time. Joel laughs, nudging her shoulder and telling her to pass the syrup.
You lean across from them, grabbing a sliced strawberry to plop into your mouth. Sarah takes over the conversation as you and Joel share a glance. This is far from over.
Later on the day you head outside with a tray of lemonade and pie in your hands. You’ve gotta take care of your dear husband before the Texas heat gets the best of him.
You nudge Joel’s leg with your foot. He’s under the beat up truck, fixing some odd part. He has the means to replace the old thing but he likes to remind you that ‘Betsy,’ as he’s named his truck, is a part of the family and will never be replaced.
“Thanks, darlin,‘“ he drawls, wiping his dirty hands on a random rag he found on the bed of the truck.
Joel takes a second too long to get up from the floor. You see the hesitance in his eyes as he tries to think the best way to stand without hurting or pulling a muscle.
This is your chance. “Need help there, grandpa?” You pipe up, resting the tray on the portable table scattered with tools.
Joel openly glares at you while you smile broadly at him. It’s not often you make fun of his age, or rather, the age gap between the two of you. It’s only when you’re feeling a particular sort of way.
The age gap between the two of you isn’t the craziest but it’s large enough for people to notice. Joel is easily through the first half of his fourth decade, while you are barely entering your third.
“Watch your mouth,” Joel warns you, standing up quickly despite the cracking of his knees and the ache on his lower back.
Your eyes spark when he grabs the glass of cool lemonade and begins chugging it. The drops of sweat sliding down his neck and into the damp collar of his shirt stealing your attention and any innocent thought you’ve might’ve had about him. They weren’t many to begin with.
You clench your thighs together as you imagine licking that same trail, tasting his salty skin. Say what you want but you love a man that works with his hands and gets all dirty and grimy.
Joel catches onto the glazed look covering your eyes and grasps your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. His body gravitating towards yours as if nature demanded it.
You’re overly conscious of the motor oil covering his hands if not you would’ve sucked his thumb into your mouth, reminding him just exactly you can do with your tongue.
“What’s in that pretty lil head of yours, darlin’?”
Him. It’s all about him. He’s always interrupting whatever sane thought you have. Scenarios of you being bent over the hood of the truck as he sinks his aching length from behind. You riding him in the front seat as you’ve done on more than one occasion, fogging up the windows. The time he was knuckles deep inside of you, teasing fingers drenched during his lunch break.
“How good gray looks on you,” you reply, diverting the conversation somewhere else entirely. A delicate fingers wraps around the charming curl that constantly falls over his forehead, twirling it around.
Joel doesn’t take kindly to your comment, rolling his eyes and clicking his jaw as he lets go of you to return to the truck. Your hand which had been playing with his curl drops to your side as you cock your hip to assess him.
He’s much too aware of the age gap, it makes him insecure. Like you’ll one day realize you’re with an old man and leave him for someone younger.
Except in your eyes he’s the most perfect man alive. The grey streaks of hair that mix with the typical brown of his curls give him an air of authority, making him look dashing in all ways. A silver fox. Strong muscles from working manual labor most of his life are now covered with a healthy layer of fat but remain strong nonetheless. Warm brown eyes that sweep you off your feet every morning as soon as they open.
That man is aging like fine wine and he doesn’t begin to realize it. You feel extremely lucky to be the only one to enjoy it…squeaky joints and all.
Joel is experienced and mature and loyal. He simply wants to have a nice life with his family. A family you’re now a part of. It’s all a woman could ask for.
“You know I love you,” you tell him, wrapping your arms around him as he leans over the hood.
“Love to torture me,” he scoffs, taking hold of one of your hands affectionately. He can never stay mad at you.
“I don’t know what you mean? I brought you lemonade and even that apple pie you love so much,” you feign innocence, pressing a kiss to the middle of his back.
Facing you with a sigh, he lets his heavy hands fall on your hips, “What’re you playing at?”
“Me? Nothing,” you say with a wicked smile, “I’m gonna go with Sarah to the mall to get her homecoming dress. Will you be alright here with Ghost?”
He’s quickly distracted by the words Sarah and Homecoming. His babygirl is growing too fast, starting High School and going on dances with boys. She hasn’t told him yet if she’s been invited by someone and he hopes it stays that way.
There’s no way he’s letting her go with a date and you can’t convince him other wise. If she wants a date she can take the puppy she adopted, Ghost. Joel is determined to teach the ball of fur how to defend his daughter.
“Here,” he says, pulling out his wallet to hand you his credit card.
“No, it’s my treat!” You say, pushing his hand away.
“Take it,” Joel insists, trying to slip it into the tight pair of jeans you’re wearing. Fuck. How didn’t he notice until now.
It should be illegal to wear jeans that make you look THAT good. The blue material hugs your thighs tightly and lifts your perky ass to heaven—not that you other wise need it.
He doesn’t hold back and slides his palms on your back pockets, giving you a firm squeeze. You stumble, falling onto him with a weak protest.
“‘M so fucking lucky you’re my woman,” he groans, taking another feel. Temporarily forgetting the conversation at hand, yet another comment directed at his age snaps Joel back to reality.
“Honey, I know I married an older man but it wasn’t for your money,” you tease again, patting his cheek and removing his hands from your pockets—credit card and all.
A sharp slap to your ass, startles you, eliciting a cheeky giggle. All this teasing and you’re leaving him home alone with the mutt.
You don’t apologize, you’ll never apologize for teasing him. Unless it’s in the right circumstances…in his bed.
Towards the end of the night you finish pushing him to the edge of no return. Remember, opportunities are always around when you’re determined.
“Dad, can you sign this for school?” Sarah comes into the living room where you and Joel are watching a movie. Ghost’s head is plopped on his lap, where Joel had been ‘forced’ to pet him.
“What’s this for?” Joel tries to read the paper but has to keep it at arms reach to be able to read it. Failing, he searches for his glasses until Sarah points at his head where they’ve been resting for half the night, nestled between his curls.
You stifle a laugh as you think of what to say. “Sorry Sarah, good old peepaw needs his glasses to read.”
It’s clear you’re pushing it far as Joel freezes only to glare at you. If looks could kill you’d be six feet underground. Sarah laughs until her belly hurts, repeating the word peepaw between breaths.
“You two are bullies,” Joel shakes his head in disbelief, signing the permit and handing it to Sarah who is wiping her tears away.
“I’m heading to bed, goodnight old man,” Sarah tells a pouting Joel, kissing his cheek and running up the stairs. “Come on, Ghost. Bedtime!”
“Peepaw? Really?” Joel raises his eyebrows at you when both Sarah and Ghost are gone.
You shrug feigning innocence, hiding your smile with the edge of the blanket. ”Yeah, peepaw. It’s cute.”
“It ain’t cute,” Joel kisses his teeth before turning off the TV and standing from the couch, leaving you behind.
“Where are you going?” You call after him.
“To bed,” he dryly responds, shutting off the lights and climbing the stairs. He only leaves the lamp by the couch on. How considerate of him.
“What? Joel it’s barely 10!” Hiding your satisfaction is difficult. Joel’s ticked off, a day of calling him old will do that. It’s exactly what you hoped for.
“Guess that’s what old men do, darlin,’” Joel says sarcastically half way up the stairs.
With a hand over your mouth, you follow him, “Honey, come on. Don’t be angry, it’s harmless teasing. Are you really heading to bed?”
Joel turns at the top of the stairs, glaring down at you, “You really think I’m an old man?”
“Technically speaking you are an older man,” you quip, scrunching your nose cutely.
“You know that’s not what I mean.” Joel crosses his arms, reprimanding you for your cheekiness.
“I dunno why you get like this, you should know I love my older men,” you say sultrily, although it falls on deaf ears as Joel retreats to the bedroom.
When you step into the bedroom you’re instantly pressed against the door, slamming it shut. Joel’s sneaky hands lock it. “You’re playing a dangerous game, darlin.’ Don’t make me bend you over my knee and give you a spanking.”
The thought alone makes you shudder in delight. Wetness instantly seeping into your underwear. You’ve finally succeeded. You have him right where you want him.
With your hands braced on his chest you deliver the final blow. “You sure your knees can take it?”
Disbelief flashes in Joel’s eyes, “That’s it!”
Grabbing your arms Joel leads you to the bed where he sits on the edge. He roughly pull down on your jeans, panties and all, leaving them pooled on your knees, limiting your mobility.
With another tug he lays you face down on his lap, holding your wrists behind you in a tight grip. Joel shakes his head at your upturned ass that’s waiting a little too eagerly for his touch.
Delight bubbles out of you and Joel is determined to take you down a notch or two. Let’s see how you handle this after fucking with him all damn day.
The first swat comes without warning, eliciting a gasp from you. It’s sharp and borderline painful. A red handprint magically appearing on your left butt cheek.
Joel massages and paws at the skin, getting ready to deliver another one. “Cat got your tongue?” He questions at your sudden silence.
You try to look over your shoulder and say, “Is that all you got?”
A sarcastic chuckle leaves Joel’s mouth. Then, three fast slaps are delivered, successfully earning him a whine from your pretty lips. He rubs on the sweltering flesh, easing some of the sting.
Finding their way to your thighs his fingers dig between them to cup your pussy. It’s no surprise that it’s warm, messy and slick. Clear strands extending from it to the inside of your thighs and covering his digits.
You’re a fucking vixen who loves to torture him for your own fucking pleasure and he’s the damn fool who falls for it each and every time.
“Touch me,” you huff, wiggling on his lap to grind on his hand, hoping to gain more contact with his coated digits.
“Touch you? Oh, darlin’ you’re not getting off the hook so easily,” Joel mentions darkly, retrieving his hand and landing yet another smack to your ass, making it ripple from the impact.
“Ow!” You flinch yet remain in the same position, expecting more. You fucking love when Joel gets rough with you. It’s a shame you have to gauge it out of him like this.
“Wasn’t this what you wanted? Hm?” Joel’s asks and when he doesn’t get a response his hand flies down once more. “What was it you called me?”
There’s a beat of silence before his hand strikes, this time aiming towards the middle. “Gra-grandpa,” you stutter at the small burst of pleasure.
“Mhm, what else darlin’?” He prompts again. His middle finger tracing the slit of your pussy, feeling you grow impossibly wetter. His pretty little wife is always so reactive to his touch.
“Old man.”
The stinging in your skin grows warmer, no doubt turning a considerable shade of cherry red. Yet the ache in your cunt obscures it all. The scraps of attention only makes your arousal worse.
“I think there was one more,” Joel hums, urging you on. His slick finger teasing your weeping entrance.
“P-peepaw,” you gasp when Joel pushes it in until his knuckle meets your delicate skin.
“That’s right, peepaw,” Joel repeats absentmindedly, pushing his middle finger in and out. Listening intently to the squishing sound your pussy makes.
He’ll have you calling him something else by the end of the night.
Tight walls grip his finger like a vice, refusing to let go. Soft puffs of air tumble out of your mouth and he knows your eyes are closed as you concentrate on the minimal pleasure he’s providing you with. It’ll never be enough to make you cum but it’ll keep you bothered.
“Get up,” Joel orders with a softer smack to your bottom, wiping his slick covered finger on your skin. He helps you up from the restrained position he kept you in and makes work of taking off your clothes.
Joel pulls and tugs on your shirt roughly, throwing it mindlessly across the room. He palms your tits briefly, pinching one of your nipples to make you whine his name. With cracking knees he kneels on the floor to help you out your jeans and underwear, kneading your thighs with his big strong hands.
He catches a glance of your reddening skin and feels a prickle of pride at the mark he left. Most of it will fade by morning but you’ll feel it nonetheless.
Sitting back on the edge of the bed he wordlessly motions you to get on your knees. A wicked smile spreads on your cheeks as you do as you’re told, kneeling between his spread legs.
Eager hands grasp his belt, undoing the worn leather to get to the button of his jeans. He provides no help, leaning back on his hands and simply watching you with hooded and expecting eyes.
You pull down on his jeans and underwear, revealing the happy trail that comes down his navel to the patch of brown at his pelvis.
His hard cock springs free once you’ve worked his pants down enough. A throaty groan coming from above you at the release of tension.
“Mmm,” you hum, grasping his length in your fist. His eyes meet yours when you look up to press a kiss to the tip, your hand pulling the thin skin back to reveal it.
“Stop with the teasin,’” Joel growls audibly, chastising you.
You rolls your eyes obnoxiosuly, “You’re no fun, g-“
A hand flies to your hair, gripping the roots tightly. Your eyes fly open, starting up at Joel. “You sure you want to finish that sentence, babygirl?”
“Maybe not,” you shrug with a pout, your hand mindlessly pumping his length.
“That’s what I thought.” Joel keeps his grip on your hair, pulling it back to see every detail of you taking his cock into your pretty mouth.
Your tongue goes flat against the underside of his shaft, tracing the vein that runs along his length and letting saliva drip all down and into your fisted hand. Joel watches intently as your lips wrap around the angry red tip of his cock.
You start off slow taking more of his length with each bob of your head. Your eyes never leaves his face, observing every small reaction he makes. The sharp intake of breath when your tongue grazes his tip, the furrowing of his eyebrows, the bobbing of his adam’s apple as he fails to keep his moans in.
The sudden jerk of Joel’s hips causes your eyes to water and screw shut. The initial intrusion of his cockhead unexpected yet welcome. Joel throws his head back, “That’s a fucking good girl.”
Those magic words make everything worth it as you messily continue to suck and lick every inch of his cock. Neither the tears in the corner of your eyes nor the saliva dripping down his length stop you from tasting him.
You swear you’re dripping on the floor as your pussy flutters at his pleased words. You could touch yourself but all your energy and attention goes to pleasing the man above you.
The pain of kneeling hard wood floor for an extended period of time doesn’t bother you and the ache on your jaw is barely noticeable because all your concentration is on Joel and making him feel good.
Joel continues to set the pace, his grip tight on your scalp. “Fuck, just like that,” he moans when you tease the crown of his cock expertly.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Joel’s voice lilts in a reprimanding voice.
A string of saliva connects you to the tip of him as your hand continuing to work on the rest of his length.
Joel takes note of your red rimmed eyes and flushed nose as well as in your swollen lips and moussed hair. The picture of you completely filthy and sexy.
Joel cups the back of your neck, bringing you up to his height. He brings you into a sloppy kiss consisting of teeth and tongue and saliva. Joel loves that can taste himself in your mouth. A job well done.
You straddle his lap so his cock grazes your dripping pussy, tugging needily at his tshirt. “Take it off,” you beg. Your lips separate for a brief second as the shirt comes off before they smash back together.
He complies but quickly reminds himself that this all started because you were calling him old. He can’t be quick to reward you.
You foolishly believe that’s it and you get to have him. Eagerly you try to sink into his cock but he holds you still, not letting you take him to the hilt.
“Who’s the tease now?” You pant against his lips, stealing another long kiss before whispering in his ear begging him to take you, to use you.
“I like to see you begging for it.” That’s Joel’s response as he pushes you off of him.
You protest but fall silent when he removes his remaining clothes. God you’re like a teenager desperate to fuck with clothes and all.
It drives Joel nuts the way you look at him with lust filled eyes. You bite your lip as you take him in all his glory, hands reaching to touch his chest.
He pulls you back to him, his cock wedged between the two of you. The saliva covering it, sticking to your skin. He cups your face, “You have something to say?”
“Nope.”
Joel to cos his head in disappointment, pushing you into bed and maneuvering you till your head is buried in the pillows and your ass is high in the air. It’s tinged a dozen shades of pink and red from his hands.
You wiggle your hips offering yourself to him. Air hits your pussy, giving you an idea of how aroused you are. That’s what happens whenever you have the pleasure of going down in Joel.
Joel grips himself, spreading his pre before pumping his hand. Smack. His hand flies down to strike your ass once more. Your back arches when Joel teases your entrance with the tip. He runs it up and down your slit, wetting it with your slick. He lightly pushes into you so only the tip is inside before he pulls out again.
“Please fuck me,” you plead breathlessly, attempting to rock back to get more of him inside you.
Joel laughs. “Now you’re nice and polite. Is there something else you want to tell me?” He asks expecting an apology.
“No,” you repeat stubbornly.
He’ll get you soon enough. There’s no way you’ll resist.
Joel’s cock brushes against your clit, making you jump and moan. He does it again and again. Your pussy clenches desperately wanting him inside of you.
“You sure? You don’t want to apologize?” He gives you another chance. Sinking his cock deeper into you to give you a taste before he pulls out.
You huff and pout but you can’t take it anymore. You need him. “I’m sorry!”
“Now, was that so hard,” Joel grunts, pushing his length all the way in, rewarding you.
You bury your head into the pillow, stifling the guttural moan that rips from your throat. You could die like this suffocated and blissfully impaled on Joel’s cock and be happy.
With a tight grip on your waist Joel fucks into you at his own pace, watching how easily you accept him, covering him with your essence. It feels fucking fantastic.
His skin slaps against yours rhythmically. You swear you can cum at that moment but Joel knows all your tells and he slows his pace, pushing into you only when the tip remains. Long, slow strokes keeping you from cumming.
“I wanna cum,” you cry out frustrated but he ignores you, edging you.
“If you want to cum tonight you have to stop calling me old,” Joel grits. This is torture for him as much as it is for you.
“I said I’m sorry,” you sob into the pillow, your back arching as you try and take matters into your own hands. Smack, another spank, warning you to stop.
“Will you stop calling me grandpa?”
You have the audacity to fucking hesitate. He’s serious about not letting you cum but he’s confident he’ll get you to cave in.
Joel pulls out his cock when you refuse to answer. He instantly misses the warmth and tightness of your walls. His cock is soaked with your slick, a creamy white substance covering him from root to tip.
Licking his middle and ring fingers he replaces his cock, feeling your walls clench around them. He pumps them angling them downward to reach that spot inside of you, his other hand pressing on your lower back so you arch more.
“Oh fuck,” you gasp when this thumb presses on your bud. An orgasm quickly building. “Please Joel.” You wanted to cum around his cock not his fingers but at this point you’ll take anything you can get. Your mind is completely clouded and years for release.
“Did you reconsider what you wanted to call me?” Joel curves his fingers, quickening the pace.
“Yes,” you whine as your hips grind against his hand.
“And what’s that?” His fingers are sticky, your essence dripping down his hand.
“Please, daddy,” you cry abashedly, hiding your reddening face in the pillows.
“I didn’t hear ya’ darlin’. How about you look at me when you speak?” Joel dares to say while his fingers continue to drive into you.
Fuck, your legs are shaking and the knot continues to tighten in your belly. You have to say it or Joel will stop. You turn your head to meet his eyes, “Please, daddy.”
“That’s more like it,” Joel’s raspy voice says, removing his fingers when you’re at the cusp once more.
You audibly groan in frustration but it’s interrupted when Joel eases his cock back into you Fucking you just as you want it, hard and fast.
The bed sheets are fisted in your hands as you hold on. Your nipples brushing against the bed with each thrust. It doesn’t take long at all for you both to titer over the edge. Your pussy squeezing tightly around him, milking him for all he’s worth.
When Joel pulls out you fall to lie on your stomach, catching your breath. He lies beside you doing the same. Sharing a glance you both start laughing.
“Next time you want it rough just tell me,” Joel shakes his head at you. He knew all along and yet it still pissed him off.
“It’s not the same, honey,” you sigh, kissing his shoulder. The nearest part of him you can reach without moving too much.
The following morning you wake up with a kink in your back and Joel being the ever loving husband brings you painkillers to bed where you’re lying still, “Take these grandma. They’ll make you feel better.”
He won’t ever call you ‘grandma’ again. The daggers you sent him were fucking terrifying.
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listen...typically i'm not the biggest fan of the daddy kink...but when it works, it works
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mysumeow · 1 month ago
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ᯓ★ KINKTOBER DAY 2: 69 POSITION
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ᓚᘏᗢ WARNINGS: Afab body reader, referred to with you/your. Fingering, oral sex (giving and receiving), overstimulation (receiving). Not proofread.
ᓚᘏᗢ SUMMARY: You call Lilia senile. He proceeds to demonstrate that he's, in fact, not.
ᓚᘏᗢ A/N: I think peepaw still got that dawg in him.
🎃 . . . KINKTOBER MASTERLIST
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“I wonder what you were like when you were a general.”
That piqued Lilia’s interest.
“When I was a general? Why the sudden curiosity?”
“Nothing much. I was wondering if what I’ve heard about your time as a general was true.”
The amused smile didn’t disappear as he approached you. “And what have you heard?”
“That you were intimidating, crass, fearsome, and strict. Many of the soldiers you battled against were terrified of fighting you,” you recalled what you’ve heard from different sources. “But I can’t imagine you being all those things.”
“It’s all in the past now. I’ve long since decided to let go of such an uncordial image,” he inched closer to you and placed a hand next to yours, leaning in. “However, do not allow yourself to be fooled. I still retain a good amount of strength, and I haven’t forgotten how to fight.”
“Mhm, yeah, right. You’re 700 years old, Lilia. I bet your knees hurt whenever you do a bit more exercise than usual,” In reality, you just wanted to push his buttons and see how far you could poke fun at him. All in good faith, of course. “Or that you run out of breath just walking upstairs.”
“Hehe, be careful of what you’re trying to play,” his amused smile turned into a self-assured one. “I’m still capable of wearing you out if I want to.”
“I find that hard to believe. You’re usually so nice to me.”
“So, you want me to be rougher, too?”
“If it’s not too much for your senile body,” you sneered.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he shrugged. Lilia lied on his bed and beckoned you to get closer with his finger. “Come on now, lovely. Get on top of me.”
Soon you understood what position he wanted you to be in.
“In-In that position?” This was a first. Even though it wasn’t the first time you two would go down on each other, this specific position was a new one. For some reason, it felt even more intimate. “Okay…”
He wanted to do it in a 69 position.
You unbuckled his belt and pulled the zipper down to start. You were confident about being able to make him finish before you, given that you were familiar with his anatomy already. Although he could say the same the other way around…
You held his dick with both of your hands and didn’t waste time engulfing the head with your mouth. You stroked him and suckled him, doing it how you knew he liked it the most—it got erect within a minute. No surprise there, so you kept going at your leisure.
Lilia, however, had other plans. You did take notice of him pushing your underwear to the side and a hand parting one of your thighs. What took you by surprise was how fast he went from the get-go. His other hand was placed on your back so you would arch it more, making it easier for him to access your clit with his mouth. He sucked it with loud slurps to then circle and flick it with his tongue.
“Lilia!” you jolted; your movements wavered for a second.
“Mm?” he hummed while still eating you out. His tongue left your clit for a moment to thrust it into your pussy; the hand that was gripping your thigh left it in favor of fingering you.
The words died in your throat, but you didn’t give up yet. You carried on with what you were doing, moving your head up and down on his length. It was difficult to concentrate. The constant onslaught that he delivered into your sensitive pussy was steady, decided. It was as if your own ministrations on him didn’t affect him from how fixated he was with making you cum first.
The way he was eating you out was downright messy and vigorous, to the point you couldn’t connect your brain to your hands to stroke him. It was made mush, you’re your nerves going haywire, and you were left to whine.
“Keep going… I’m close…” you said between heaved breaths.
“That fast? And here I thought you had more vitality in you.” He teased.
With a new resolve, you forced yourself to coordinate your hands back on his length, your mouth returned to position, and you took him until the head touched the back of your throat. You sensed the pleasure about to snap, and you tried to pull away from his cock—only for Lilia to place his calf over your head to keep you in place. Your moans were muffled, as your mouth was stuffed with his dick. Despite the sudden movement, you came hard around his fingers.
You hear Lilia’s pleasured voice and feel the warm sensation of his cum spilling down your throat soon after.
Your and Lilia’s chest went up and down rapidly, recuperating from the sex. However, he was faster to gain his composure back, and you feel the bed shift with his movements.
“I’m not done with you yet,” he murmured against your neck, a hand caressing your clit. You jolted from the strange mix of pleasure and pain, your nub tender after the orgasm.
“Lilia—” you groaned and tried to trap his hands with your thighs.
“Giving up already?” he grabbed your shoulder to turn you around.
In spite of the ache blossoming from between your legs, you shook your head. “I’m just... you know. Sensitive,”
“That’s the reason why I’m doing it,” he drank up your soft whimpers with his lips, his fingers not stopping for even a second. Those lithe fingers rubbed your clit in circles, then from side to side, and back to in circles. The pain subsided and gave way to pleasure; you found yourself moaning against the sheets and canting your hips closer to him.
“Wha..!” you gasped when Lilia suddenly gave a gentle slap against your pussy.
“You didn’t think I’d let you off that soon, right? After what you said to me,” Lilia said with a kittenish tone, finding fun in the situation. “You did ask me to be rougher. Who am I to deny you such pleasures?”
The sound his palm made when it smacked against you pulled another gasp, your train of thought lost. He repeated the action a couple of times with varying intensity, without forgetting about your comfort.
“You keep squirming and squealing when I do this, yet—” the wet sounds coming from your cunt further proved the words he then spoke. “You’re soaked. My fingers are slippery from your juices.”
Judging by Lilia’s cutesy face, one would think his hands are small and soft. That’d be a wrong infer. They were calloused and rough, and even if they weren’t the biggest, he was rather skilled when using them. Hot, dripping with your release, he used them to slide a finger inside, the heel of his hand stroked your nub.
Without stopping to think about it much, your hand instinctively found purchase by grabbing Lilia by his arm and dug your nails into him when your second climax snapped.
“You look so cute like this,” Lilia giggled, easing your release by slowing down little by little. “I could gobble you up right now. Think you can handle another round?”
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hanafubukki · 3 months ago
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i know i have already been in your inbox today dear Hana, but based on your recent reblogs….i must ask if you have any thoughts on how the Diasomnia men might enjoy predator play dynamics? 👀💕 hehe
You’re always welcome to my inbox Dear Gray 🫂💞
Absjsjshs I’m giggling in bed while writing these 🥰💞
For the Diasomnia men:
Lilia Vanrouge: The amount of times I thought of this dynamic with him will astound you. For Lilia, it’s the thrill of the chase. The hunt. It’s gets his blood pumping. His demeanor changes. He goes from our preppy peepaw to the General. He’s shadow incarnate, always one step behind you. He’s playing with you, makes you think you got away. But if you actually manage to trick him? Put up a fight? Oh, how surprised he will be. His sweet prize. How he wants to ruin you. I can see blood red eyes in a dark night sky. Color saturated by the bright moon up ahead. Nails sharpened, eyes slits, and fangs sharp; truly the predator. He will catch you and will make you beg. The taste of your fear on his tongue. Just thinking of his voice and the animalistic sounds he’d make as he takes you right where he caught you 🥰
Malleus Draconia: Malleus I think would love the chase as well. He usually has to keep his dragonic nature in check. For him, his bestial nature comes out. The tails, wings, scales, elongated fangs, his voice spoke with a hint of rumble. Depending if he’s in mating season or not, the chase can be long or short given his patience or lack of. I think Malleus would want to play with his prey more than chase. Make you beg, bring you to the brink and then deny you, dress you in his pretty jewels, etc. His precious Little One. Keep you to himself as he lets his baser instincts take you. You will smell like him by the time the night is over.
Sebek Zigvolt: Right away for Sebek, I see him more into the tussle aspect. He wants to show his strength off. He wants to show his abilities. He can protect and he can fight. There’s also power play added to this. He’s stronger than you. He can beat you. Submit to him. You’re a weak prey and he can easily break you, but he won’t. So imagine his surprise when you don’t give in so easily? When it takes more effort. He’s having fun. The end result increasing his gratification when he finally has you by your pretty throat.
Silver Vanrouge: For Silver, I also think it’s the fight part of the dynamic. Not the same way as Sebek where power play comes in, but more of the calculative aspect. There’s the chase he enjoys but it’s more the resistance he likes. Having a tussle and he does his very best not to hurt you but to subdue you. The gentle hand that calms his startled and frightened prey. He loves having you relax into him. He won’t hurt you. His dove. He’ll calm and soothe you before having your submission, but at this point you can’t help but submit to his ways. He makes it so easy to lure you into that blissful state before he takes you.
Thank you for asking Gray 💞 just thinking about this has me in a daydreaming 🥰🌺
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ddejavvu · 1 year ago
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Touch starved pilots of your choice cuddling their s/o headcanons
characters written: pete 'maverick' mitchell, nick 'goose' bradshaw, tom 'iceman' kazansky, ron 'slider' kerner, leonard 'wolfman' wolfe, rick 'hollywood' neven, beau 'cyclone' simpson, bradley 'rooster' bradshaw, jake 'hangman' seresin, natasha 'phoenix' trace, robert 'bob' floyd, javy 'coyote' machado, mickey 'fanboy' garcia, reuben 'payback' fitch
sfw, but cut for length. enjoy!
Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell:
depends on what age you're thinking!
if it's young!mav, he's probably just a liiiitle reluctant to let himself relax sometimes
he's sort of got his tough guy persona, and he's not used to dropping it, so when you get him alone he tries messing around at first
whether that's a few too many kisses, or a pinch to your side, he guards himself a bit before letting himself go
but when he does, oh, he's like a little kitten !
he lets you run your hands through his gelled hair (gross)
and it gets all misshapen and spiky
he probably just melts when you pet his hair like that, and he'll be snoozing on your chest in no time
now older!mav is definitely less of a tough nut to crack
he probably initiates the cuddling in the first place, he nudges you over to the bed and lays himself on top of you to crush you
you can push at his chest and splutter all you want, but he's made his choice on where he's going to lay, and it's on you
he likes holding you, but he wants to be face-to-face, so you can brush noses and bump foreheads
he probably tries sooo hard to stay awake so that he can soak in the time you're spending together but peepaw definitely crashes like 10 minutes in
Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw:
he also likes to be face to face!
buuut not for the same sweet reason as mav
he just wants to itch you with his mustache
he likes nipping at you too, he bites your nose to make you laugh
you won't be getting any sleep when you cuddle with goose, he just wants to talk and laugh and hold you the entire time
it's not a period of time to wind down, it's a big laugh-fest
and god FORBID you try to get up to pee
“Nick, I have to go.” / “Sorry, honey. I can’t let go. I think my hand’s stuck.” / “NICK!!”
Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky
he’s another one who probably has just a bit of trouble letting his guard down
he’ll cuddle with you no doubt, but he’ll probably always keep you in his lap or have some sort of upper hand in the embrace
it takes a while before he’s ready to be held himself
when he does finally give in it's so soft and sweet :')
he's had a really hard day and he comes home with his eyes drooping
you've planned a movie night but he doesn't even look like he could sit through an episode of a tv show
so you lead him to bed instead, and tell him you're sleepy, cause he won't 'ruin' the night by admitting that he is
you ask to play with his hair and he lets you, but he's not sure why 'cause you just said you were tired??
you basically have to trick him into being held but once his head is on your chest and your hands are in his hair he's gone.
he ends up mumbling something all sleepy and groggy like 'mm, that's nice' and his eyes are half shut and he's so endearingly tired :')
he wants you to do it all the time now, I'd say it's about 50/50 whether you fall asleep holding him or he falls asleep holding you
Ron 'Slider' Kerner:
slider's a big boy!!!!!!!
he's big and tall and muscly, the perfect cuddle buddy
he's probably more inclined to hold than be held
but he likes it when you face him so you can wrap your arms around his back :')
he probably likes it when he's able to bury his face in your neck/shoulder/against the top of your head
like he always wants his face snuggled in somewhere warm and nice smelling
and it just so happens his chest is an excellent place to get lost yourself
so you most of the time just nuzzle right into each other and get to snoozin'
i think he'd talk real soft, too, he'd murmur against your ear while you're drifting off, probably boring you to sleep with technical details of his flights but just before you crash for the night he slips in a little 'i love you, honey' and <33333
Leonard 'Wolfman' Wolfe:
he's a loser for his partner it has to be said
almost as teasing as nick is but not quite
he'll let you fall asleep he just wants to talk to you AllTheTime because he LovesYouSoMuch
he's a chatterbox and you'll be lucky if you get to sleep at a decent hour
he really likes it when you lay your head on his chest
'cause he likes playing with your hair and your face :]
sometimes he'll just use you as a little stress toy and squeeze your cheeks and pinch your nose and poke at your forehead
always making silly little jokes and telling you all about his day
down to, like, every comment one of his friends made...
'and then slider said he was gonna kill him but hollywood ran, so then they were just chasing each other around and iceman said-' / 'babe.. can we sleep? please?' / 'oh! right, sorry baby.'
Rick 'Hollywood' Neven
listen there's a reason he and wolfman get along so well
they're BOTH teases!!!
cuddling with hollywood is not really relaxing, because he's always pinching your sides or putting his nasty cold feet all over you, or pretending to knock you out by fake-punching you a bunch
you're just laying there and he's 'punching' your stomach, making fake punch sounds with his mouth, and if you push him away he'll pretend you've absolutely knocked him out, tumbling down onto the mattress with this dramatic thump and closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out of his mouth like he's a dead cartoon character 😭
he's like a dog you have to get his energy out before trying to rest with him or he just Won't Rest
when you DO get him sleepy, though, he's kinda incoherent when he's tired, so you'll be cuddled up together, maybe you're scratching his back, maybe he's playing with your hair, and he's just sort of mumbling nonsense until he finally drifts off to sleep
Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson:
will not be held
sorry! not happening
he's just so big and beefy and authoritative that he doesn't much enjoy being coddled
he loves cuddling with you though, he gets very relaxed just laying with you
he's a casual toucher, i think, so you can rest your head on his shoulder at the airport, you can hold his hand at restaurants, whether that be over or under the table, he lets you hang all over him however you want
he's not super into in-your-face PDA, though, so you'll have to be polite and considerate about it
actually in bed though, under the blankets at night?
he's so much more cuddly than you'd expect
he wraps his big strong arms around you and tugs you close and lets you melt all over him <33
your favorite place to lay your head is probably his chest 'cause it's so broad and firm and nice <3
he's a good back rubber so cuddles are always soft and cozy and sleepy
Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw:
lord he's a cuddler
he's just a touchy guy, because he's probably gone without it for a significant amount of time so now that he's got you he's gonna enjoy it
big big big on pda, doesn't really care who sees
so that means cuddling in public, too
perfectly content to sit by the beach with you in his lap all cuddled back into his chest he doesn't care if anyone teases him
but back in bed he's a sucker for head scratches
if you have long-ish nails, enough to scratch at his scalp, he'll literally melt over you like an ice cream cone
his limbs go all gooey and he flops his head down on your chest, groaning and grunting while you scratch through his hair
he really enjoys sleeping on top of you, whether that be fully chest-to-chest 'you're suffocating me' cuddling or just an arm thrown over your stomach while he lays on his own
he likes being held, too, but probably prefers to hold unless he's having a hard day
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin:
big boy!! surprisingly fond of being held for everything we know about him
that cocky demeanor does not last under the sheets
he adores holding you, of course, he'll wrap his big arms around you and cradle your head to his chest
he probably plays with your hair, looooves it when you tangle your legs up with his own
he prefers if you talk to him rather than him talk to you if you're cuddling
cause he likes the sound of your voice and he loves hearing about your day
he tries to listen so attentively to what you're saying, but if you're taking a little too long telling him about that batty old customer that had visited the shop you work at today, his eyes are going to slowly start to droop and he's gonna let out a big ol yawn that means it's time for him to close his eyes
you always cut yourself off like 'sorry, jake. g'head, go to sleep'
and he insists you continue like 'nooo darlin' i wanna hear! keep going :]' except within two minutes he's dozing against the pillow while you talk about the old lady again
he's a simple man just talk soft and slow to him while snuggled up in his arms and he's gonna sleep no matter what you're telling him
Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace:
she really likes laying face-to-face with you!!
she's a fan of spooning, of course, she likes either burying her face in your back or letting you snuggle into hers
but she loves the intimacy that comes from being pretty much nose-to-nose with you
the type to lay there and chat with you mere inches away so that you're leaning in to kiss her all giggly and bashful every four seconds
she uses your cuddle time to tell you all about her teammates, what stupid shit jake said today, how bob almost tripped down the stairs, that fanboy's got a new girlfriend who wants to meet you, etc etc etc
but that means when you see them next you know all of the hot gossip about everyone and you giggle every time jake says something dumb and he's like WHAT.. WHAT IS IT.. WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME.. and you give nat this little ;) 'cause you'll definitely be talking shit about him later
she does this thing where she cradles the back of your head in her hand if you're face to face and she throws her leg over your waist and it gives you such intense butterflies that you need to close your eyes sometimes <3333
Robert 'Bob' Floyd:
cuddlebug <3
he loooves cuddling but if you do it face-to-face he's gonna need to be super close to you because he can't see without his glasses 😭
i'm taking like nose-to-nose so close that you have to cross your eyes to see him
otherwise he's pretty chill in what positions he likes
you love it when he reads to you
i think he might not be the most confident reader out loud but he does it anyways 'cause it puts you to sleep
he gets really sleepy really easily so sometimes it's best to refrain from cuddling in public
like you're out on the beach by a firepit and you're all snuggled up together but oops he can't enjoy his smores because he's sleeping on your shoulder
he loves it when you lay your head on his shoulder sm :'))
he wraps his arm around you and tugs you closer <3
Javy 'Coyote' Machado:
prefers holding to being held
probably a little less talkative than the rest, but that doesn't mean you never chat
he just has this insane ability to fall asleep anywhere, i'm talking slumped against the bus window, leaning against the wall, sitting on the ground, piloting his aircraft sorry
he likes staring at you, though, while he falls asleep :')
if you're talking to him he'll listen and nod and hum along and agree when he should, he's a very good listener
but slowly he'll start to fade a bit, and he'll sling his hand over your waist, smush his face into the pillow, and keep listening for as long as he can
slooooowly you start getting less responses from him, he's not reacting as much, but his eyes are always locked onto your face and he's got this lazy little smile on his face while he drifts off to sleep 'cause he gets to look at you the whole time :')
loverboy!!
Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia:
the most talkative in the whole wide world
cuddling with him is barely even cuddling, it's watching him act out his entire day
'and then payback went like this and- BAM! shot it down.'
and he's up on his knees in the middle of the bed with his arms out demonstrating exactly how they'd worked through their training exercises that day
and he is loud and energetic and you're half-asleep like 'that sounds awesome, babe.'
he isn't one to stay in one place really, he likes tossing and turning a bit before he falls asleep which means that you are also going to be tossed and turned
he's a really shifty sleeper too so you'll wake up with your face in his armpit
if you're really sleepy though, he'll settle down, he'll pull you into his chest and let you fall asleep there
but he'll probably be on his phone for a bit, he strikes me as a crazy night owl
Reuben 'Payback' Fitch:
out in two seconds
there is no conscious cuddling with him
why?
because the second his head hits the pillow he's snoring
you can cuddle up to him but if he's cuddling up to you he's doing it in his sleep
you're actually so jealous of him bc you lay down for the night and he tucks his chin over your head or he snuggles his face into your neck and that's it.
he's out.
he's a clingy sleeper, though, so if you wanna read for a bit or use your phone it might be kind of hard
honestly it really helps your sleep schedule to sleep with him 'cause sometimes he's entirely wrapped around you and you can't move
so there's nothing to do but sleep yourself
he's like a living furnace i KNOW that man runs hot
you probably wake up sweating a bunch if you're all snuggly with him
blanket stealer. he somehow manages to tear them off of the end of the bed where they're tucked in and cocoon himself
and then you wake up freezing cold
when i said he snores i mean it he snores loud
it's sort of comforting eventually? like at first it drives u insane
but over time you come to rely on it as white noise and you can't sleep unless he's all over you snoring right in your ear and drooling on your shoulder
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wordgirlnextgen · 1 year ago
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thats just him the next gen au-💥💥💥💥
"You'll get what's coming to you... You'll ALL get what's coming to you! Mwah ha haha ha!"
*Retired supervillain turned postman continues her route, laughing maniacally*
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