#let's title this letter cats instead

[supesoup]

noir + size kink

sorry for disappearing! 2.4k words, main warning is in the title, same reader as always, little to no body descriptions, reader has a cat! a TINY tiny amount of dubcon + slight somno at the end, overstimulation, a little bit of edging, i'm using canon noir for this because he's 6'3, make him taller in your brain if you want :) no labels for their relationship

there was a random youtube video playing for background noise while you finished with your skincare. bambi, your cat, walked into the bathroom, meowing and turning her head towards the door. you looked up and didn't see anything in your room.

you decided on just setting out some strawberries and water for her, fixing her bows, and squishing her cheeks before getting back up and finishing with your 'routine', if it could be called that. after turning off the lights, you went to the kitchen to get some water when something brushed your shoulder.

you quickly turned on your phone and pointed the screen at the person's face, breathing out a small sigh of relief when you saw the mask.

"just you," you paused, looking past noir. "do you want anything to drink? i was about to go to sleep-" before your face was being pushed into his chest in some weird attempt at a hug.

you felt your face heat up a bit at the way his shoulders bracketed you, his hands feeling heavy on your ribs as you eventually tried to reach your arms up to hug him back.

"good evening to you too," tiredly, and a bit too loud in your now less empty apartment. you felt something being traced onto your back.

'CAN I STAY' followed by a happy face and a question mark.

it was hard to tell whether or not he could feel you smiling against his shoulder, where you'd moved to and began nuzzling at. noir's hands squeezed a bit tighter, moving to where yours were splayed over his arms and rubbing at your wrists.

'ANGEL', letters traced right over one another into the back of your hand. you began tugging at him, eventually freeing yourself enough to trace a 'yes' into his neck and turn your head towards your room.

noir lifted you, fingers nearly squeezing bruises into the fat on your hips. he set down a towel and turned everything but your lamp off once he reached your bed, setting you down gently and rubbing his hands along the outside of your thighs.

his hands nearly, if not completely, covered the sides of your thighs, and you felt a shiver run down your spine as the thought processed, albeit sluggishly. you felt him begin to press kisses into your stomach and hips through his balaclava.

you could just make out noir's shape in your (darker than usual) room, and clumsily reached for your phone. 2:10 am. you flung it somewhere onto your bed and pushed at his broad shoulders from where they were pressing your thighs apart. you didn't know what you were trying to tell him.

you felt him look up and slide a finger along the top of your shorts before waiting. when you just panted instead of answering, noir reached up, stroking along the lines of the muscles in your arm before tracing out, 'CAN I CONTINUE'.

"yeah-" breathlessly, and your voice came out a bit too quiet this time. noir then lifted you, his large hands reaching across your sides with ease, and gently pushed your shorts down and off. you heard fabric rustling a bit to your right before you squeaked as you felt him press his lips just above your cunt.

'BREATHE', traced into your left hip, and he started by gently rubbing circles into your clit with his thumb, the fabric covering you dampening the feeling. you reached down and let your nails scratch into the fabric covering the back of noir's neck.

you whined as you felt noir lift up a bit, looking around to check if the room was as dark as he wanted it before descending again. you reached for him, and he interlocked the fingers of one of his hands with yours, dwarfing yours. he pushed the fabric of his mask up, bringing his hand back between your legs before beginning to nip at your inner thighs.

you felt a throb in your clit at the way his stubble scraped against your thighs. your legs began to close around his head, and he moved his hand away from your cunt to press them back apart. you were so spread out it nearly hurt.

noir shivered a bit at feeling how much bigger he was than you, biting a bit harder and kissing at the mark that started forming before he pushed your panties to the side and dragged a finger through the wetness that began to drip from you.

you saw the glint of his teeth as he smiled, seeing the way your hips canted up when he'd drag his hand away. noir did this a few more times before laving his tongue through your folds, lingering on your clit before moving away again. a quiet sob clawed its way through your chest and up into your throat before you could stop it.

the sound of his codpiece hurriedly coming off and being thrown to the side rang through the room before noir put his mouth back on you, his lips being able to cover your cunt with no difficulty. you heard his gasps as he stroked himself over his tactical pants a few times to take the edge off before bringing his fingers back up to press into you.

your face flushed even more at how easily you took noir's fingers in. he filled you up easily, having forgotten how big his hands were for a few minutes. tears welled up in your eyes once he mouthed 'wet' into your clit before starting to suck at it, not giving you any reprieve from the feeling. you mewled once he reached a specific place inside you and curled his fingers.

"noir-" strained and wobbly, but audible, and he grabbed one of your pillows and brought it between his legs as he pressed his mouth harder into you. you heard the bed creak and looked back down at him, seeing noir grinding against it while he let out a quiet moan at the feeling.

you brought both your hands to where his neck met his shoulders and dug your nails in, trying to gather your thoughts for the couple of seconds that noir had his face pressed to your thigh before he moved back down. you were going to get beard burn, you thought to yourself before he started pressing into your gspot again.

your orgasm started making itself known in the area right between your hips, where noir was grabbing at you before moving his hand to press into the area underneath your stomach. your thighs started to shake when noir gasped and moaned into you as his hips bucked. you pressed your nails into him harder, and he tossed your pillow to the side.

he added another finger and drew his tongue across your clit slowly, pushing harder and harder until you were whining with how sensitive you were getting. noir pulled off when your gasps started sounding wet, and moved up to lick the tears off your face. he rubbed his hand slowly over your stomach and thighs, nearly silently going 'shh' into your ear until you went quiet. your hips were burning from how much you had to spread your legs to get him close to you like this.

noir worked his way back down, pushing your shirt up and licking over your tits for a little before kissing down to where he was bullying your pussy open. he dug his hand into the muscle of your thigh, leaving a handprint that nearly covered the entire front of the upper part of it before pushing three fingers back into you.

you could vaguely make out the way he pressed his thighs together at the sounds you'd started making, and his fingers found that spot inside you quickly. noir fit his mouth back over your clit and sucked hard, almost like making you cum in his mouth was punishment for something.

in your mind, loose around the edges as it was, you forgot noir was capable of killing you without moving from his spot on the bed. you grabbed him by the back of his head and ground against his mouth, whimpering at the feeling of his stubble scratching at you.

he gave a surprised moan, and that's all it took for you to gush around his fingers. your hand shot up to press against your mouth, muffling your moans from how hard you were cumming before you felt a much larger hand wrap around yours and drag it away from you, leaving you to sob into the space of your room.

noir had a hand around the base of his cock, squeezing to prevent himself from cumming in his pants with how you felt, sounded, tasted in his mouth. he pulled off, panting over you before moving up to kiss you, crowding you where you were laying on your comforter.

he moaned a little where he began mouthing at your jaw, hand bringing yours to wrap around his cock. noir stuttered when he felt you, gathering your thigh closer to him where he was grinding against it. you pushed the fabric of his pants down just enough to free him.

"inside," you said into his ear, letting him put you into a mating press before you felt something being traced into the area below your collarbone.

'NOT GOING TO LAST', and then he whimpered when you notched his head into your folds, letting him grind against your clit.

"'s fine, you old man," and you felt his face heat up where he was pressing it into your neck. you pressed your lips to noir's temple, over his mask, reaching around and tugging at the curls at the nape of his neck before pushing his cock down to your entrance.

both of you gasped as he sank into you, him at the wetness and feeling of you around him, and you at the stretch. you sunk your teeth into his shoulder when he canted his hips closer to you, making failed attempts at swallowing down his moans.

you felt the word 'fuck' mouthed into the top of your head. he'd nearly encased you with the rest of his frame, looming over you with his thighs bracketing your hips. you were pulsing around him, occasionally squeezing to try to get used to his size, while noir attempted to press his thighs together from where they were surrounding you.

noir grabbed at your waist, hands shaky but still gripping hard enough to bruise, and started grinding into you, gasping. you let out a mewl as he nudged your gspot, and attempted to think.

you grabbed one of his hands, moving it up so you could suck at his fingers before moving your other hand down to rub at your clit. noir looked down and moved your hand out of the way, gently rubbing at the scratches he'd left on your thighs from his grip before placing two of his fingers on you.

you slung your now free hand over noir's shoulder, holding onto him tightly as he started thrusting into you. whenever he bottomed out, you'd grind against his pelvis, feeling another orgasm start building inside of you, and quickly.

noir gasped at the feeling of you inadvertently tightening around him, bucking his hips before resuming his motions, bending down to mouth at your neck. you felt his thighs squeezing around you again, cock kicking where he was bullying it into you.

he panted and whined slightly where his mouth was pressing against you, rubbing harder at your clit. he tried and failed to mouth any more words into your skin, settling for licking and biting at you instead. you let go of the hand he had placed at your mouth, grabbing at the breadth of his shoulders and not knowing whether to push him away or pull him in closer.

you whined urgently as you felt yourself get closer and closer, gasping out noir's name into the armor covering his clavicle. he bit down even harder, whimpering a bit when he felt your grip on him tighten.

you came around him when he moved his fingers out of your mouth and placed them around your neck, biting your lip so hard you drew blood as you felt him sink fully into you, shaking where he was trying not to cum while grinding himself into your clit.

some desperation-addled, dark part of his brain delighted in the feeling of you pushing at his shoulders, whines of 'please', 'cum', and 'sensitive' tumbling quietly from your mouth, all while you were still cumming. noir felt his balls draw up where they were pressed against you, moaning when he felt your nails digging into his skin where his mask had been pushed up.

noir drew back and pounded into you once, twice, and then stuttered where he tried to grind into you a third time as his cum started to pour into you. he reached a hand under you, scratching at your back and whining into your hair as he felt you clench around him and sob again. he drew you into the space between his hips a few more times, his legs shaking.

noir moaned again when your hips bucked from the overstimulation. his hand had been rubbing at your clit the entire time. he continued grinding into you until his cock was throbbing, trying to let out more of his cum even when he'd filled you so much you were leaking onto the towel he'd put down.

both of you whimpered as he pulled out of you, running his hands along your sides and kissing at your forehead. you pointed to your nightstand, and noir used some of the wipes you had there so that you two didn't feel completely gross before he laid down next to you.

noir gently moved you and pressed you up against his chest, dragging a hand along your sides and waiting for your breathing to slow down. he traced petnames into your skin, 'angel', 'bunny', 'baby', 'pretty', and more. he slung his arms over your torso, engulfing you once again like he'd done in your kitchen.

once noir saw your eyes begin to flutter shut, he began to mouth at your neck again. he then let his fingers slip back against your clit, hushing you gently when the feeling made you start to stir.

[writingonleaves]

and all at once, you’re all i want (i’ll never let you go) - jack hughes

pairing: jack hughes x original female character

warnings: literally nothing. fluff! some minor worship of nina hischier (the goat), a little love letter to my alma mater

title: "king of my heart" by taylor swift

word count: 10.3k

author's note: first fic in the new year is for @wyattjohnston 's winter fic exchange 2k24!! i had the absolute pleasure of writing for @wildrangers <3 taylor, i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed putting it together and demi, thank you for your endless hard work for putting this on!!

four times where jack hughes and ashley grassie showed up for each other and one time where everyone showed up for them

*****

one - two months

“Jack, are you sure about this?” Ashley asks, fiddling with the silver rings on her fingers. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He responds confidently, sparing a look at her from the drivers seat before turning his eyes back on the road. “Everyone’s expecting you.”

“You told them?”

“That my girlfriend was coming with me to a New Year’s party? Of course.” He squeezes her thigh lightly. “They’re excited to meet you. And not while we’re working.”

“I’m excited to meet them too.”

“You sure?” He teases lightly. “You’ve been quiet all afternoon.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.” They stop at a red light, and he leans over to kiss her cheek. “Ash, baby, they’re gonna love you.”

“But you don’t know that,” she protests softly. 

“I do, actually. Because everyone loves you.”

She rolls her eyes. “You can’t promise me that everyone’s gonna even like me.”

He shrugs. “I’ll prove you wrong. You’ll see.” He tugs at her gold sweater. “Is this new?”

“Yeah. Seems fitting for the occasion. Sparkles equals New Years, right?”

“I like it a lot.”

“I know what you’re doing,” she deadpans. 

He smirks. “And what might that be?”

“Distracting me.”

“Maybe so. You’re so smart, Miss Columbia Grad.”

“Jack,” she whines, making him laugh. 

He picks up her hand and kisses the back of it. “Trust me, okay? It’ll be great. And I’ll be with you all night.”

Ashley swallows, before forcing herself to nod. 

The thing is, after two months of dating officially (she’s not counting the month beforehand when there wasn’t a label on things even though there should’ve been), there are still important parts of each other’s lives they have yet to experience together. She’s gone to a few of his games, but has never met any of his teammates (except for Luke, but he doesn’t count), choosing to meet Jack back at his place after instead of waiting for him at the rink. She also doesn’t count that one Devils game she had to fill in for, which is how she met Jack in the first place. The few times he’s invited her along when he does go out with them, she’s been busy with other things. 

New Year’s is kinda a big time to be meeting new people. People that mean a lot to Jack. But that could just also be all in Ashley’s head. She’s never really done this before. The last serious boyfriend she had was in high school where everyone knew each other. There was no need for introductions. 

Jack squeezes her hand. “Thank you.” 

“For?” 

“Coming with me to this. Taking off work early. I appreciate it a lot.” 

She shrugs casually. “It’s about time, right?” She pointedly ignores the look he shoots her, because she doesn’t want him to know how nervous she really is.

Before they know it, Jack’s pulled into the driveway of the Toffolis and her hands start sweating again. She gathers the flowers on her lap and the wine bag as Jack rounds the car and opens the door for her. He grabs the bag, presses a kiss atop her head and hand in hand, they walk to the front door. She lets Jack take the lead as he just walks in. They walk into the kitchen area, as Cat pulls her into a hug and thanks them graciously for the flowers and wine.

It turns out that Ashley really does have nothing to worry about. Getting thrown into a whirlwind of introductions and new names is a lot, but she doesn’t mind. A wave of comfort crashes over her as Luke practically hauls her into a hug. 

She finds herself besides Nico after he hands her a glass of wine. “You’re a journalist, right?” He asks.

“I am.”

“Do you ever watch Jack’s media interviews?”

Ashley giggles. “I do once in awhile. Trust me, I have my thoughts. I also met him for the first time from that. And you, technically.”

“Right, right. Will we ever see you in the locker room again?”

“Probably not. I was just filling in for Danny. On the rare chance I do sports, it’s usually for the Jets. Besides, better to watch and support you all without any stake professionally.”

“What do you usually report on?” Nico asks with genuine curiosity. 

She perks up, like anytime she gets to talk about her job. As she talks, using her hands animatedly despite one of them holding a drink, Jack looks on from a distance with a lovesick look in his eyes.

“She is way too cool for you,” Dawson says, fixing his cap.

Jack rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” But Jack knows his teammate’s right.

Jack’s not clingy, perse, but it’s hard for him to watch Ashley just…be and not be touching a part of her. Even if it’s just sliding up against her so her body is pressed alongside his, he just wants to be near her all the time. 

(Quinn once sent some random thing he found on Instagram about love languages a few years back and Jack had remembered absolutely roasting him. But maybe he had a point)

“So,” Nicole starts, refilling both their glasses up with champagne a bit later in the evening. “Why Jack?”

Ashley snorts. “Your guess is as good as mine.” From beside his girlfriend, Jesper barks out a laugh and from next to Ashley, Jack pouts. Ashley laughs, leaning into Jack’s side. “I’m kidding. Mostly. I was hesitant at first though.”

“Oh, yeah. He told me about this,” Jesper says. “Said he chased you down the hall after post-game media and asked you out?”

“Sounds about right.”

“And you said yes to that?” Jesper asks. Jack whacks his teammate in the stomach. 

“Not right away,” Ashley admits. “He gave me his number and told me to text him if I was interested. And I ended up being interested.”

“Lucky for him,” Nicole chuckles. 

Jack squeezes Ashley’s waist fondly. “Lucky for me.”

She listens on in interest as Nicole talks about how she and Jesper got together. Somewhere throughout the conversation, she can’t help but let her mind drift. They’ve been together for years now, been living together for a bit and are looking to move into a house. She literally moved away from Sweden full-time for him. 

Ashley swallows as Jack asks about how their house search is going. There’s a very little chance that Jack will be leaving Jersey anytime within the next half decade. But her mother warned her that his career could take him places in the future unexpectedly. 

And in a way, so could Ashley’s. But it’s not as easy. 

She scolds herself for even thinking this far. They’ve been dating for literally two months. That’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. They’re celebrating entering the new year today, but she has no idea if they’ll even be together for all of it.

She’s hoping they are. God, she really fucking hopes so. But she could hope until the end of the world and have it fall short. She smoothes her sweater out with her suddenly-clammy hands, chugging the whole glass of champagne before putting the flute down on a nearby table. She excuses herself politely to use the bathroom, which she does, before getting some air. 

She definitely looks a bit crazy outside on the Toffoli’s porch in the dead of winter, but she doesn’t mind the biting edge of cold. It’s grounding her, actually. 

“Was looking for you.”

Ashley doesn’t even look at Jack, humming as she hears him walking out to stand next to her. “Did my sparkle sweater give me away?”

“No, Neeks did, actually. Said he saw you walking out.” She finally looks at him with his eyebrows furrowed. “You’re not cold?”

“Don’t even think about offering me your jacket,” she warns. “I know you’re only wearing a t-shirt underneath.”

“Then come back inside so we both don’t die.”

“In a minute,” she promises. 

He huffs, rubbing his hands up and down her arms to try and generate some heat. “Everything good?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Just, you know, minorly freaking out at her boyfriend’s teammate’s place about the fact that she might be falling in love with him even though it hasn’t been that long and what a future could look like for them and how that future could fall apart in an instant.

So regular New Year’s Eve thoughts.

“Unlike you, I don’t have a college degree, much less two,” Jack grins. “I can’t read minds.”

“And you think I can?” She jokes back weakly. He just chuckles. She continues. “Your friends are nice. I like them a lot.”

He lights up anytime someone he loves gets brought up in conversation. “Yeah, they’re cool. They like you too.”

“That’s good,” she says softly. 

He taps her forehead with his pointer finger. “Countdown’s soon. Come back inside?” He laces their fingers together. 

“You gonna kiss me at midnight?”

“Think so.”

“You only think so?”

Jack smirks, kissing her deeply. “Shut up.”

Ashley is absolutely floored.

two - one year and one month

Cam’s wedding crept up on her. 

Of course, Ashley knew it was coming, but still. Though she was surprised when Jack told her that he was free of games on that particular early November weekend somehow, only having to miss an optional practice and that he would notify the coaching staff far in advance. 

It’s not the act of bringing Jack that she’s nervous about. Cam and Amanda, his fiance, came into the city a few months ago and they all grabbed lunch before heading to a game at The Rock that night. She’ll never forget how ultimately “traitor-like to the Bruins” Cam felt, Ashley and Amanda finding it hilarious. They both had a good time though, and that’s all that matters, and Cam, who has always looked out for her even before she had ever asked, subtly gave his approval. 

(“I’ll admit my assumptions about him were wrong,” Cam had said. “He’s awesome, and he really cares about you. If he’s the one, I won’t be mad about it. He’s very lucky.”)

It’s more of a particular person that’s going to be at the wedding. 

Weirdly, when she and Alex broke up way back when, one of the thoughts that circled her mind months after was exactly this. If and when the day of Cam’s wedding came, and they were both still close to him, they’d both be there. And here they are. 

She’s over him — obviously, considering she’s in a happy, long-term relationship and it’s been four years — but how do you prepare to see your ex-boyfriend when the last time you saw him you had just broken up and you were in tears?

She and Jack drive up to Cape Cod early the day of the wedding and she feels a bit bad that he’s driving after he had a game last night and has one in just two days but he doesn’t mind, happy to be driving as long as she’s in the passenger seat next to him. They’re switching off anyways, and she had driven the first half. Cam and Amanda rented out a bunch of rooms at a few inns for their guests so her and Jack will get ready there before heading to the venue. 

From a quick rundown Cam gave her a month ago when they caught up over the phone, she’ll at least be familiar with a good amount of people at the wedding. She’s excited to see them all again and catch up, those memories that were bittersweet at some point, all water under the bridge so many years later. 

It’s what you get for dating within a friend group. Ultimately, at some point, sides are chosen.

At the end of the day, it’s Cam, someone who has always been there for her since they were 16, even when she didn’t necessarily do the same. He’s given his friendship selflessly to her for over a decade. The least she can do is come to his wedding to celebrate. 

And she has Jack with her. Nothing can go wrong with Jack by her side. 

“You okay?” Jack’s voice breaks her out of her thoughts as he squeezes her thigh, sneaking a look before focusing back on the road. “You’re quiet. You’re rarely quiet in the car.”

“It’s a 5 hour drive, Jack.”

“I’ve been playing country nonstop for the last half an hour and you haven’t chirped me once.” She starts playing with his fingers and his eyebrows furrow. “Alright. What’s going on, baby? What are you thinking about?”

“You know what I’m thinking about.” She shoots back with no malice. 

He sighs, linking their hands together and bringing them up to his lips to kiss her knuckles. “Yeah. I got you though. I’ll be with you the whole day.”

“It’s dumb, really. Four years. And I haven’t thought about him in a long time.”

He shrugs. “He was your first heartbreak, and you haven’t seen him since. This is gonna be some sort of closure, even if it’s four years later.”

“You seem awfully cool about this, considering, you know, your current girlfriend is lowkey freaking out about seeing her ex again.”

“I’m not worried,” he replies easily. “You need this closure. I wasn’t smart like you back then and actually saw my exes probably way sooner than I should’ve. Besides, I’m the one on your arm now. Not him. I’m not pressed.”

She scoffs at yet another country song playing and skips it, snorting when ‘Suburban Legends’ by Taylor Swift comes on. How fitting. “I’m definitely hyping it up in my head. It’s nothing. And Cam told me that he purposefully put us at separate tables, in case Alex says some questionable shit while drunk.”

“No worries about you saying anything questionable?”

“Compared to Alex? No way.” He snorts, amused. But he knows enough about his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend to not push it. “I wonder if he’s bringing someone. God, I hope he is.”

“Why? Don’t want to rub it in his face that you’re happy and in love?”

“That’s mean,” she says airily. “No. I hope he’s bringing someone because I want to know what kind of girl can tolerate his ass. I did, but I was 20 and stupid. I wanna see what kind of girl can tolerate him at 26.”

“Does he know I’m coming?”

“Cam?”

He snorts. “No. Alex.”

“Who knows? Even if he does, he probably doesn’t care and isn’t overthinking it like I am.”

“I think you’d be surprised,” she looks at him, confused and he bites his lip. “Even if they play it off, guys are affected by that stuff more than you’d think.”

“What is there to be affected by?”

“You,” Jack says simply. “Not that I’m biased or anything, but you leave quite an impact on everyone you meet. And that lucky ass got to date you. As someone who also has had that privilege, I can relate a bit.”

Ashley chuckles before squeezing his hand. “Thanks for coming with me. I know your schedule is really busy with the season and everything-”

“You don’t need to thank me. Isn’t half of having a significant other just bringing them as plus ones to weddings?”

“Fair.” She leans her head on his shoulder momentarily as he pushes the sunglasses on top of his head to his face. “Thank you, though. I feel bad that you’re missing practice.”

He snorts. “Don’t.”

“They didn’t give you a hard time?”

“Not really. It’s an optional, anyways. Nico just told us to have fun and I think Lindy has a soft spot for you somehow. I’m excited. I like Cam. And I’m happy to be here with you.” He smirks, adding. “Come on, baby. Did you think I was gonna leave you to dry when your ex is gonna be there?”

“You don’t know anybody at the wedding. And Cam grew up in a hockey-loving family from Boston. There’s bound to be people who recognize you.”

“So I’m the arm candy for the night. That works perfectly for me.” 

They arrive at the inn just past 1, and decide to stop by a nearby cafe to grab a quick bite. Jack decides to take a short nap before they have to start getting ready and head out while she scrolls on her phone and plays with his hair since his head is on her lap. Occasionally she finds herself staring outside the window at the water with a smile. Even if not in the summer, the Cape is beautiful.

Once it hits 4:15, she figures that she should start getting ready, but she can’t move without disturbing Jack since he’s still sleeping soundly on her lap. She gently whispers his name and presses a few kisses on his forehead as his breathing changes, groaning a bit as he stretches and opens his eyes. 

“Time to go?”

“In like, an hour. I need to start getting ready.”

He hums, puckering his lips and she takes the hint, kissing him soundly twice before ushering him off her lap. She lays out the few makeup products she has, moisturizing her face before putting light foundation and concealer on. As always, she focuses more attention on her eyeshadow, deciding to add a bit of gold glitter to compliment her pink dress. She clips a matching pink bow in, liking the way it blends with the natural brown of her hair. She decides to save the lipstick for right before they leave and turns to Jack, who’s buttoning his shirt. 

“What do you think?” He looks up as he’s buttoning his cuffs. “Too much glitter?” She asks.

“Never too much glitter. You look beautiful.”

She looks at his blazer and tie that he’s laid out on the bed, looking at him with minor confusion. “Since when do you own that tie?”

“Since last week when I bought it.”

She looks at where her dress is hanging. “It matches my dress.”

“Yes it does.”

She looks towards him as he tucks his shirt in, a sudden wave of love rushing through her heart. “I love you.”

He looks up and immediately walks over to her, placing a hand on her waist and kissing her. “I love you too.”

She puts on her dress quickly, smiling when she doesn’t even have to ask Jack as he comes over to help her zip it up, pressing a chaste kiss on her shoulder. His phone ringing interrupts and she brushes her hair before she puts on her accessories. 

“Sup Quinny?”

Quinn’s voice crackles through Jack’s phone. “Where the fuck are you going all dressed up on a Saturday? I know for a fact you don’t have a game today, considering Luke just sent a snap of him playing Chel with Dawson 10 minutes ago.”

“I’m in the Cape, asshole. One of Ash’s friends is getting married.”

She peeks into the view of the camera and waves after putting in one earring. “Hi Quinn!”

“Oh! Hey Ash. You look beautiful.”

She beams. “Thank you!”

Jack scoffs. “I’m here too.”

Ashley leaves the brothers to catch up as she starts gathering her things and puts on her lip tint before sitting at the edge of the bed since they still have 15 minutes left before they have to head out and she’s mostly all ready to go. She chimes in once in awhile, always happy to talk to Quinn as Jack shrugs on his suit jacket, ties his matching pink tie and clasps on his watch.

“Looking good, you two.” Quinn says as they both stand in front of the phone. “Matching tie, eh? Good move, Jacky.”

“We look good enough to make an ex jealous?”

She just rolls her eyes as Quinn’s eyes lights up, immediately catching on. “Absolutely.”

“Don’t encourage him, Quinn.”

Quinn just laughs and bids them farewell as Jack smooths down his tie. She puts on her jacket and grabs her boots and slips them on. As she’s about to bend down and tie them, Jack ushers her to sit on the bed and kneels down. He does it too quickly for her to dwell too much on how much she loves him, but he probably knows, if him gently rubbing his thumb over her ankle and the kiss on the inside of her knee tell her anything. 

It’s only been a little over a year, but she really does think she could spend the rest of her life with him.

They end up running into Nick in the lobby and even though it’s been…four years since she’s seen him, she corrals him into a tight hug. She introduces Jack and Nick introduces Melanie, his fiancee. The only indication from Nick that he knows who Jack is is a subtle comment that’s delivered in a way that’s so Nick it makes her heart ache — “Jack Hughes. Only Ash would show up after almost five years in the flesh with a professional athlete at a wedding where her ex is gonna be at. Always gotta do some out of pocket shit.” — and makes Jack laugh as she slaps him.

The four of them walk the short seven minute walk to the venue together, with Ashley and Nick mostly leading the conversation. She can’t remember where they left their tentative friendship in their late teens and early twenties when the world was shut down and the future looked the most uncertain it had been. Even though they don’t immediately pick up where they left off, years of rust littered in their interactions and memories, she’s extremely happy to see that he’s doing well. 

(Jack’s just happy to be there, holding his girlfriend’s hand as she leads the conversation. It’s nice not having to lead for once. There’s not many situations where he’s the one tagging along) 

As they enter the ceremony space, Ashley immediately sees plenty of other people she recognizes. She chuckles to herself as she realizes many of the guys are from the soccer team. It’s touching to know they still keep in touch. Logan, one of said guys, greets Nick goodheartedly, before wrangling her into a hug. As pleasantries are exchanged and people are introduced, she does feel a bit out of place. But that’s natural, reconnecting with people after so long that clearly still hang out with each other and only hear about her through sporadic updates through Cam when they ask. 

Sides were chosen, even if not intentionally. Ashley’s learned to be okay with that. Even if she thinks it’s unfair that Alex got to keep a lot of their mutual friends and she didn’t.

As everyone settles down in their seats, she squeezes Jack’s hand, opening her mouth to apologize for…something. Not preparing him in giving the whole lore of how she knows all these people? How the only reason she knows the sport of soccer is so well is because of Alex? Not explaining clearly the mixed feelings of her coming to the Cape this weekend? 

But Jack’s enraptured in a conversation with Logan, and she smiles. Of course. Logan played hockey back in high school as well. 

(Out of instinct, Jack does squeeze her hand back though, even placing them in his lap even though he’s not looking in her direction at all)

When Alex comes into view, a pretty redhead’s hand around the crook of his elbow, Ashley starts sweating. Thank goodness she has deodorant in her bag. Jack, who’s still talking to Logan, notices, and she’s about to apologize for her clammy hands as he sends her a confused look but the nearby exclamations of Alex’s name answers his question. He just presses two kisses to her temple.

Logan, to his credit, grimaces. “You gonna be good, Ash?”

She waves his kindness away. “Of course. It’s been so long. And it’s Cam’s day.”

And it is Cam’s day, as everyone falls silent watching both sets of parents and the groomsmen and bridesmaids walk down — she chuckles when she sees Sean walking down, forgetting that he and Cam got closer in college even after going to the same high school — before grinning as Amanda walks down in her beautiful A-line, ball gown of a wedding dress. Ashley wipes a tear away watching Cam do the same and she thinks if only 16 year old them could see themselves now. 

(She has a moment when she looks at Jack where her stomach flips, thinking of the day they could be the ones at the altar. She quickly focuses her attention back to the front)

Cam and Amanda are pronounced husband and wife and she cheers as he dips her and kisses her, beaming and tearing up and laughing as she hears Nick wolf-whistle. People start dispersing, the large heated patio hosting a cocktail hour before the doors to the reception hall open back up again.

While she’s sipping on a glass of wine, she hears a familiar voice calling her name and she beams, carefully making sure she doesn’t spill any wine on Sean’s tuxedo as he towers over her and hugs her tightly. He introduces himself to Jack and she watches in slight amusement as they talk. 

Sean and her never really were friends, more friends by association. He was more in the popular crowd in the school that Ashley herself was never inclined to push her way through. Her and Sean shared plenty of classes together though, and always got along when forced to work together. And in another life, sometimes Ashley thinks that she would’ve had a crush on the blonde boy. 

Instead, she dated one of his teammates. And, well, that turned out the way it did.

(Ashley rolls her eyes when Sean makes a comment about how it “makes complete sense that you’re the one who ended up dating a professional athlete” because sure, Sean. Sure.)

Jack may be among many Massachusetts natives who live and die for the Bruins and are not hesitant in chirping him within 5 minutes of meeting him, but he smiles genuinely as his hand instinctively finds a way on her lower back. After dating Ashley for over a year, he’s used to the good-intentioned bluntness of New Englanders. She only starts rolling her eyes when high school gets brought up and stories about her start piling up. In contrast, Jack loves this and just eggs them on, eager to hear the stories. 

With a quick glance at the seating chart when they’re all starting to filter back into the reception hall, she finds that the high school crowd is split between two tables, and that Cam kept to his word and put her and Alex at different ones. The tables next to each other, but still. She won’t have to worry about making accidental awkward eye contact with him across her chicken. She’s the slightest bit surprised she hasn’t crossed direct paths with him yet. But there’s enough people that they wouldn’t ever be forced to interact. And maybe that’s for the best. 

Dinner passes by without incident, Ashley squeezing both Cam and Amanda tight as they come around to toast every table as Jack gives Cam a tight bro-hug and Amanda a polite kiss on the cheek. The dance floor starts to open up, and as usual, Ashley’s one of the first ones on, dragging Jack and practically their whole table out. She feels light on her feet and happy as she leans into Jack with a big smile. He ditches his suit jacket at the table and his pink tie is loosened and she thinks he looks so handsome. She’s happily tipsy enough where the curious glances and whispers from probably the entire fucking reception hall about why an NHL player is here don’t bother her. She knows he’s used to it. She doesn’t know how.

(Jack may not know everything of the lore and context behind Ashley’s relationship with the people she knows here, but he knows her and how deeply she feels and nostalgic she can get and how that can change her perception of her own memories and how that in turn, can make her extremely self critical. 

So this whole evening, he’s tried to make it as easy as possible, talking with her old friends and classmates — which isn’t much of an ask, they’re nice enough — and just squeezing her hand or waist or kissing her temple or cheek when he feels her focus trailing off. If she talks to Alex and wants him there, he’ll be right next to her. If not, he’ll make himself scarce. Whatever she wants)

Ashley’s resting at her chair while Jack’s in a casual conversation with Cam as Alex comes up behind Cam, tapping him on the shoulder. She swallows and sits up straight and Jack automatically places a gentle hand on her back. Cam and Alex exchange a few words she can’t hear before Cam turns his attention back to her and Jack feels a surge of gratitude towards Cam, who looks extremely apologetic. 

Jack watches as she stands up and steps towards Alex with a small smile. “Hey.”

Alex blinks. “Hi.” She gives him a quick hug before stepping back next to Jack as he stands up. “Alex, this is Jack, my boyfriend. Jack, Alex.”

“Nice to meet you, man.” Jack says with a firm, polite handshake and he doesn’t really see (or care about) Alex’s reaction before turning back to Ashley again, trying to read her. She gives him an almost imperceptible nod. Jack’s eyes flicker to Cam, who also nods behind Alex and he clears his throat. “I’m gonna get a refill. You two want anything?”

“All good, man.”

“Rum and coke, heavier on the coke?”

“You got it,” Jack presses a quick kiss to her hair before he and Cam walk to the bar. 

Jack waves to the bartender for a whiskey sour for himself as Cam gets a gin and tonic. They both lean against the counter and Jack sighs, watching Alex take Jack’s previous seat. “Was that a good idea? Leaving them alone?” Because he knows her, of course, but Cam’s known her longer. And he had a front row seat to her and Alex’s friendship before they got together, their relationship when they got together, and the fallout of their breakup. 

“Honestly? I don’t know. But they’re both 26 year old mature adults.” Cam’s eyes flit over to a redhead woman a couple seats away from the bar and waves her over. Jack’s trying to remember if he’s met her tonight

“Hi Cam,” she says lightly. 

“Hey yourself,” he nods over in the direction of her and Alex. “You initiate that?”

She snorts, “Of course I did.” She perches herself on a stool and sticks her hand out to Jack. “I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Francesca, but please call me Fran. I’m Alex’s girlfriend.”

Jack gives her a small smile. This is something. “Jack. Ashley’s boyfriend.”

“I’m aware,” she teases. “I grew up in Jersey and my brother’s a huge hockey fan. I’ve been to a couple of your games throughout the years.”

“Always nice to meet a fan,” He responds smoothly and genuinely. “Especially in a room filled with Bruins fans that could honestly poison my drink at any moment and I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky there are no Rangers fans here.” Cam waves him off as Jack and Fran laugh. 

“What a way to meet someone for the first time,” Fran says.

“While our exes are talking for the first time in over four years?” Jack says and Fran and Cam both snort. “You could say that.”

She turns to Cam, “Cam, you can go off and mingle, you know? It’s your wedding. Jack and I will be fine here.”

Jack opens his mouth to agree but Cam just shakes his head. “It’s fine. I need a second to breathe anyways. And also make sure this doesn’t go downhill.”

“Ashley seems like a smart girl and Alex isn’t that stupid,” Fran says. “They wouldn’t make a fuss at your wedding.”

Cam sighs and Jack thinks about how thankful he is that Cam has been there for his girlfriend way before Jack even knew her. Jack then turns to Fran and asks how she and Alex met and the conversation starts there, all three of them turning to the two exes from time to time to make sure there’s no flames or glasses being thrown. 

Fran talks about how she and Alex met at work and laughs in amusement when Jack explains that it was the same with him and Ashley, talking about how Ashley had been filling in for a colleague for an interview and Jack practically fell in love with her the second he saw her and had to tell himself to not sound stupid in front of the pretty girl. 

And honestly, as Jack talks to Fran, he laughs to himself a bit ironically. She reminds him a bit of Ashley. A bit too much for him personally and harsh in a different way than his girlfriend, but decent company nonetheless. So maybe he and Alex are more alike than they think. 

Meanwhile, the conversation happening merely 20 feet away between two exes is not as casual. Not as comfortable. 

“Been a long time, huh?” Alex remarks. 

Ashley tries not to scoff. “Four years.”

Alex curses under his breath. “Yeah. How are you?”

What a loaded question. She goes along with it. “I’m good.”

“Cam mentioned you’re in New York?”

“I am. Moved out there about a year after college for work. Then went to grad school there.”

“Journalist?”

She shrugs. “More or less. The title’s changed a couple times throughout the years but all in that field.”

“That’s awesome.” He runs a hand through his hair and it looks so familiar yet unfamiliar. “I still remember when you told me you got into BU. Seems like the path was always laid out for you, huh?”

She’ll have to unpack that one later. “Guess so. How about you? I heard you were in Portland. Real estate, right?”

He nods, “Yeah.”

“That’s great. I’m really glad you’re doing well.”

“Thanks.” A moment of silence there. “For what it’s worth, it is really good to see you again.”

Ashley lets out a genuine smile. Small, but genuine. “Same.” 

The sound of his laughter kinda aches a bit, but not in a way that has her sad. Just nostalgic. There is some easy banter, and somewhere in the back of her mind, Ashley’s remembering a bit of why she loved him in the first place. 

There’s a pause in the conversation, before she continues, “I haven’t gotten a chance to meet whoever you’re here with yet, but-”

“Fran.”

“Fran, right.” she says. “But I’ve heard a bit. How long have you two been together?”

“Are we really going to do this?”

She swallows the urge to fire back, shrugging instead. “Why not? And don’t pretend like you’re not curious about Jack either. I figured I might as well just go first.”

Alex laughs. “Around three years for Fran and I.”

“You love her?”

“I do. A lot.”

She smiles. Genuinely this time. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

“How about you and Mr. NHL Superstar?”

Again, she swallows down her instinct to fire back. “A little over a year now.”

“You happy?”

“Very.”

Alex nods once and doesn’t quite smile but has a pleasant expression on his face. “Cam said that he likes him. Which is a lot, considering I’m pretty sure he used to think that he was a cocky asshole.”

Ashley knows it’s not meant in that way because she knows that her boyfriend has somewhat of a reputation, but she gets defensive. “People aren’t always what they seem. Even if he’s a pest on the ice sometimes, he’s a wonderful guy.” You should know, she wants to say. You were the exact same way in high school.

They’re trickling into dangerous territory. She wonders if he’ll take the bait. If he does, she wonders if she’ll be strong enough not to fall for it. She wonders if he’ll apologize, not because she needs it, but because she knows she deserved one all those years ago. 

Alex leans back casually, putting his arm over the empty chair next to him. “From me to Jack fucking Hughes. I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Ashley doesn’t know at all how she’s supposed to take that. Like everything he’s always done, he says it casually, taking a drink of water as she’s figuring out how to respond. She doesn’t. For the first time, she feels like she doesn’t have control of this conversation.

He notices she has no response and keeps going. “Hey, he’s a decent player and the money can’t hurt. I’m glad you’re happy.”

She swallows. A gold digger? Is that really what he’s hinting at?

Ashley almost sighs in relief when she catches sight of Jack, Cam and a woman who she presumes is Fran walking back towards them. Immediately she plasters on a smile and introduces herself to Fran, because it’s not her fault that her boyfriend still has the ability to get under her skin even so many years after their break-up. Jack presses a rum and coke in her hand silently and she thanks him quietly before making small talk with Fran. Just having Jack next to her has her blood pressure lowering. Soon enough, they all but shove Cam back into his own wedding and bid farewell as Fran excuses her and Alex and heads over to chat with someone she doesn’t recognize. 

Jack leads her outside of the main reception hall into one of the hallways, where there are people sporadically chatting and also getting away from the music for a second. 

Jack grabs her drink and faces her with a concerned look. “Ash? You okay? It seemed to get a little…tense at times.”

Ashley shrugs and chuckles. It’s bitter though, and he knows it, immediately placing a grounding hand on her waist. “I was how I always am to everyone.”

“Sure,” he responds skeptically. 

She sighs. “It was fine. I’m fine. It didn’t go badly. I don’t know if it was good. It just…was.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “It was fine. It’s not a big deal. It’s been four fucking years and it’s not like I love him anymore. I shouldn’t-”

“Hey. Stop. None of that,” Jack says softly but firmly, leaning in closer and kissing her forehead as she bites her bottom lip harshly. He holds her hand gently and presses it against his chest. “Open your eyes, baby. Take some breaths with me.”

She obeys, looking into blue eyes that have become another home for her and taking deep breaths. “Thanks.”

“Always. Wanna talk about it?”

She debates in her mind. “No. It’s a wedding. Let’s go back and have fun and dance.”

“You sure?”

She nods, before placing a peck on his lips. “I’ll probably be more in my feelings tomorrow about it. Or the next week. But for now, come dance with me.”

“Lead the way.”

Ashley doesn’t even look at Alex’s direction for the rest of the night, instead looking at Jack when she feels like the floor beneath her is gonna get pulled away. The stupidly romantic thing is, she knows he’ll catch her everytime.

three - one year and nine months

“What do you think?”

Jack looks up from where he’s sitting on her bed and his eyes pop open, jaw dropping with it. He tosses his phone to the side. “Ash. Holy shit.”

Ashley twirls around in the yellow ruffle dress. “I like this one the most, but I don’t think it’s fancy enough.”

She looks up to see him biting his lip, eyes scanning her body. She blushes as he beckons her to stand inbetween his legs. “Don’t care. You have to wear this one, please. It fits you perfectly.”

She smoothes down the ruffles. “Are you sure it’s fancy enough?”

“Honey, most of the guys probably won’t even be wearing ties,” she settles her hands in his hair. “Wear this one. I know you love it and you look beautiful in it.”

She lets out a breath. “Okay, yeah. I can pair it with those flower earrings and matching bracelet and I think Scarlett has white heels I could borrow and-”

“Woah there,” he chuckles, rubbing his thumbs on the fabric at her hips. “Did you have too much coffee today? You’re talking a million miles a minute.”

“No,” she drawls out. “I’m just…nervous? This is the first thing we’re going to that’s so…”

“Public?” He finishes for her. She nods. He pushes her gently so that she’s sitting next to him. “I get that. I’m a bit nervous too. But I’ll be there the whole time. And you’ll have my parents and Quinn. And Nico will be there too. Besides, you’re great with people. I’ve seen you in action.”

She shrugs modestly. “That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what is it you’re worried about?”

She swallows at his tone, because she doesn’t think he gets it. Why would he? He’s not the one that’s going to be scrutinized by his fans. At least not to the degree she would be. “Everyone else’s thoughts.”

Jack nods slowly in realization. He leans in to kiss her lips twice. She has to admit it makes her feel a bit better. His kisses usually do. “You know no one else’s opinions mean anything. Besides, it’s very clear to anyone that I’m happily taken.”

And he has a point. She’s made an appearance on his Instagram with two photos in his annual summer dump — one was just of her in the city and the other was of the two of them by the lake in Michigan — and he hadn’t tagged her, but it was clearly a message to the world that he wasn’t a single man. Social media doesn’t matter and it never will, but it had been a decision they both had come to, Jack approaching her gently and asking if he could post them. 

But having it through a screen and having it in real life is different. 

“I know it’s stupid,” she says. “But you know me. I don’t particularly enjoy being out of my element.”

“I know, I know,” he bumps her knee with his. “It’ll be fun though. We’ll get drunk the night before and maybe I’ll be hungover the next morning and you get to tell Luke if I do anything embarrassing.”

Ashley laughs. “That does sound fun.”

“Exactly.” He cups her face in his hands. “I gotcha, baby. Always.”

She trusts in that when she lands in Boston a few days later. She trusts in that as she gets swept in a world she’s not quite comfortable in, but finds there are a lot more similarities than differences compared to environments she’s been in. She’s a journalist after all. It’s her job in a way to blend into different lives in order to get the best and most impactful stories. She trusts in that as she’s rolling her eyes fondly at Jack, who’s chatting with practically everyone at the bar. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen this many hockey players in one room. She trusts in that as Jack then always drags whoever he’s talking to so that he can introduce her. 

For someone who has always valued their privacy, Jack is making it pretty obvious that the “stunning girl in the floral shirt” is his. Ashley can’t say she hates it, even if it’s a little bold for her particular taste. 

“He looks happy, doesn’t he?” Ellen asks as they both watch Jack across the room with Auston Matthews. Ashley’s cousins in Toronto would be freaking out right now. 

Ashley snickers. “Drunk or happy?”

“Both?” Ellen raises her glass up to knock it against Ashley’s in a toast.

“I’ll drink to that.” 

“Thank you for coming. I know it means a lot to Jack that you’re here.”

“Thank you all for having me,” Ashley responds, suddenly a bit shy. “It’s, been, uh, a bit overwhelming, to be honest.”

“I can imagine,” Ellen smiles sympathetically. “All this hockey stuff, business wise, is more Jimmy’s scene than mine.”

“Really?” Ashley thinks to all that Jack’s told her about his mother and all the warmth Ellen has emitted since they’ve met, not to mention how everyone they’ve talked to — player, coach, agent — has gravitated towards Ellen.

To her credit, Ellen chuckles. “That’s fair. Jack tells me that you know how to work a room, which is something that Jimmy’s always said about me.”

Ashley traces the rim of her glass. “I think Jack gives me too much credit.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Ellen says with a knowing smile. “I read your article the other day. The one about the family who’s had to travel across the country to get care for their child. Quinn sent it to me, actually.” Quinn read it? She doesn’t remember sending it to him. Did Jack send it to him? “It’s an incredible piece of work. How long did that take you?”

“From start to finish? Around two months.”

Ellen grins, placing a motherly hand on her shoulder. “You’re so talented, honey. I try to keep up with everything you write, but you do so much that sometimes I lose track.”

"You really don’t have to do that. But thank you, Ellen. T-that means a lot to me.” 

“What does Mom not have to do?” Jack asks, squeezing himself next to his girlfriend.

“Read my articles.”

Jack grins. “Why not? They’re so good. Our family group chat is filled with them. Dad always loves your profiles.”

Ashley swallows. She’s pretty confident that the Hughes family likes her, but the fact that they all keep track of her published articles is a bit too much for her to handle right now. She downs the rest of her beer and waves Jack away when he opens his mouth to ask if she wants his. Instead, he asks the bartender for a ginger ale. Ashley’s grateful. 

The next day, Ashley smiles as Jack’s walking the carpet. He’s up for the Hart trophy this year and as he squats down to greet a little boy and sign his jersey, Ashley can’t help but let her love and pride for him soar. She’s as out of the way as she can be, trying not to get overwhelmed with all the voices and flashes around her. It helps that Ellen and Jim seem to always be nearby and she makes fast friends with Nina and Luca, who are watching Nico do similar things. 

She gets pulled out of her own world with a familiar hand on her waist. “Hey,” Jack murmurs into her ear. 

“Hi.”

“Do you wanna jump into a few pictures with me?” Jack asks softly. “It’ll only take a few minutes. No pressure if not.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

He beams, offering an arm as he leads them over to where the photographers are. She tries not to blink too much as the flashes hurt her eyes and hopes she and Jack are looking in the same direction. 

“You look beautiful,” he pairs his sincere compliment with a squeeze of her waist. 

She smiles at the cameras for a few seconds before turning to him slightly. “You already said that.”

“I know. It’s worth repeating.”

Thankfully, it’s only about 30 seconds before everyone else — Quinn, Jack’s parents and Nico’s family — are being ushered in for a group photo. She finds herself inbetween Jack and Nico and giggles as Nico tries to blow his hair out of his face. She takes pity on him after a few tries and she reaches up to fix it for him quickly, Nina laughing on the other side of her brother. 

“Stop messing with it,” Ashley scolds lightly through clenched teeth, smiling for the pictures. “You’re gonna make it worse.” She giggles when Nico pokes her side a few seconds later. 

When Jack wins the Hart, Ashley leaps out of her seat in excitement. To her, he’s always going to be the best player she knows because she sees firsthand how hard he works, but it’s nice that his peers are recognizing it too. He places a quick kiss on her lips before going up on stage and Ashley’s clapping and laughing to herself. He was dreading having to make any sort of speech. 

After the ceremony, she just follows everyone to whatever swanky rooftop seemingly the entire NHL is gathering at. She finds herself flocking towards Nina for a lot of the evening as they both exchange fun stories and memories of their own lives over drinks. Ashley thinks she could keep talking to Nina for the rest of her life. She’s just so damn cool. 

The next day, she drags Jack around the BU campus and is happy pointing out buildings that she had classes in, cried in, cheered in and lived her life in. They walk from one end of Com Ave to the other, Ashley dutifully pointing out Agganis Arena (“I’m sure Trevor has some good memories in this building”), their starting point.

She stands in front of the College of Communication building and stops. Jack dutifully stops next to her. “This building kinda looks like shit.”

Ashley snorts. “Yeah, I know. Especially compared to all the science buildings.” She bites her lip. “It all started here.”

“What did?”

“The dream.”

And yeah, maybe that’s a bit dramatic. But Jack said similar things when he brought her to Toronto earlier this year, so she knows he understands. 

Almost two years together now, she’s convinced that no one will really ever understand her like Jack does. 

He nudges her hip with his, the breeze blowing comfortably through her hair and rustling the plants around them. They watch as a student walks through the front doors. “Wanna go in?” 

She shakes her head. “Nah, I’m good.” She tugs at his hand while sipping the lavender lemonade from Pavement in the other. “Come on. I’ll show you Bay State. I lived there my junior year after I came back from studying abroad in Dublin.”

Bay State Road is beautiful as always in the Boston summer, Ashley’s hand in Jack’s. She drags him out into the middle of the road and only squeals once when a car is coming and he pulls her to the sidewalk. 

Campus isn’t the same when classes aren’t in session, but she hopes Jack can still feel some of the magic in the air through her stories. 

“It suits you.”

She turns to Jack. “Hm?”

“This city. It suits you.”

“Oh,” she blushes for some reason. “Thanks.”

“Do you miss it here?”

“All the time,” Ashley admits. “New York is great, but Boston will always be home.”

“Would you think of working here? If given the option?” Jack asks. 

“Maybe,” Ashley squeezes Jack’s hand, “But I also have reasons to stay in New York.”

He smirks, but it quickly transitions into something gentler. “Yeah?”

She could throw something snarky back at him, but she looks around the brownstones and lets out a deep breath. This is home, but flashes of Hoboken and East Village flicker in her mind and that’s also home. 

She looks at Jack and feels overwhelmed. Oh. It’s Boston. It’s Hoboken. It’s East Village. It’s him. Jack is home.

four - two years

“Big day, huh?” 

Ashley just smiles at Carissa, nudging her side. “We’ve come a long way since that phone call at 2 a.m.”

Carissa just snorts. “That phone call got us here.”

“True,” Ashley squeezes her arm as they make their way to their assigned table. “Love you, girly.”

“Love you more. I’m proud of us.”

Ashley grins, looking around as everyone is mingling amongst each other. There are past award winners here and Ashley’s already done some of her internal fangirling, especially when Lynsey Addario came up to her and wanted to talk to her. 

She’s still decently new in this industry and knows she has so much to learn, but it’s comforting to see that all of her hard work has paid off. 

People are starting to take their seats and Ashley looks around at her colleagues. Everyone’s dressed up and looks so lovely and Ashley smiles, looking down at her midnight blue dress. When Jack had seen her walk out of the changing room in it a few weeks ago, his eyes had popped out. 

(“Fuck,” he had said. “Now I’m even more pissed I can’t make it to the dinner.”)

And yeah, it would be nice if he was here. But the Devils are playing the Islanders tonight. It sucks that he’s so close but so far away, but after two years now, it’s just part of the gig. And they make it work. So Ashley isn’t too upset about it, even if Jack is. 

She’s a bit confused when there is an empty seat next to her, as it seems like the ballroom is filled. There’s no nametag there either, but her attention soon drifts off to the front. She has to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling too hard. 

The Pulitzer Prize Awards Ceremony at Columbia University, also her alma mater in a way. Her 18-year-old-self who was sitting in the front row of Introduction to Journalism in Boston could’ve only dreamed about this day. 

Opening remarks start and Ashley really does try to listen, but her eyes glaze over as her mind drifts off. She claps as the first few awards are being presented. She thinks about all the hours that it took to get this piece down, but also all the hours before — in her classes, at her college paper, in her internships, during her job search. The times she wanted to throw in the towel and just do something else. Anything else.  

“I didn’t miss too much, did I?” She blinks, turning to the voice next to her. She freezes. 

“Jack?” She breathes out. She hasn’t been sleeping much this week, so this could very well be a hallucination. 

He beams and she reaches to place her hand on his cheek and she realizes as she scans her eyes up and down.  Oh. He’s in her favorite suit of his. And he’s here. 

“Oh my god,” she wraps her arms around his neck as her whole table cheers. Thankfully, there’s a lull in the ceremony where the whole room is blanketed in a low buzz. “What the f-don’t you have a game?”

“Technically,” Jack says, nodding at her coworkers with a charming smile. “Took a personal day.”

“What? You can do that?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, like he didn’t just skip a game to be here. He rubs his thumb on her shoulder as he kisses her temple. “This is a huge deal, baby. I wasn’t gonna miss it. I’m so proud of you.”

“Lindy’s not mad? Nico’s not mad?”

Jack snorts. “The second you won, I told Lindy to count me out for the game so he can do what he wants with that. Nico’s lowkey pissed he also can’t be here.” He turns to Carissa on the other side and beams. “Hey Care. Congrats.”

“Thanks, Jack,” Carissa beams. “Surprised you pulled this off.”

“Surprised we pulled this off.”

Ashley looks at Carissa. “You knew about this?”

“Of course. Who do you think made sure he would have a seat?”

She looks between her colleague and her boyfriend. Something creeps up her throat that feels a lot like love. 

When her and Carissa are recognized and they have to go up to accept the award and give a short speech, it’s kinda a blur. All she remembers is Jack’s kiss on her cheek and receiving a standing ovation as she and Carissa walk up together. So many hours with her eyes glazed over glaring at the laptop. So many hours interviewing with people and reconfirming facts. So many hours dedicated to this one piece. 

She wouldn’t have it any other way. 

As Carissa is speaking, she locks eyes with Jack. He’s beaming and his eyes are actually sparkling. His hair tousled and he’s so handsome and he’s hers. 

(She almost trips walking back to him) 

He chuckles, pulling her into another tight hug. “You’re amazing, baby. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” she chokes out. “Thank you for calming me down all the times I was freaking out.”

“Of course. I’m sure all those glasses of cold water helped,” he jokes. She always said the ice cold water he would place next to her laptop would wake up her brain. 

She laughs into his shoulder. “They did.”

He pulls away and just stares at her, smile still on his face. Their attention is taken away by someone who wants to congratulate Ashley and has no recognition on their face when looking at Jack. 

(Jack looks on with pride)

plus one - three years and four months

Stanley Cups are interesting. Even some of the best athletes of all time have never gotten one. And some that are only slightly above average perhaps were just placed on the right team in the right season. 

But this Stanley Cup, in Ashley’s completely unbiased opinion, this one was fully deserved. By every single person on the team. 

She doesn’t think she’ll ever forget the absolute joy in Nico’s eyes as he lifted the cup in the air to a roaring crowd at The Rock, or how long the hug between Jack and Luke was when the final whistle sounded, or seeing Ellen cry as her two sons beckoned her in for a picture with the cup, her other son and husband standing close by with pride in their eyes. 

The picture of her and Jack by the cup as he’s kissing her cheek as she smiles so widely her eyes are shut might be her favorite picture of them of all time. 

Ashley had wondered if Jack was going to bring the cup to Toronto or Michigan. He ended up bringing it to Toronto while Luke brought it to Michigan. It ended up being all the same, since they were both present at both. 

Jack winning the Cup is obviously a huge celebration. But he’s not the only one with something to celebrate.

Yesterday, when they were out to lunch with some of his extended family, Ashley had found out by phone that she was just promoted to be a director of her team. After her phone call, she had just covered her mouth in shock as she sat down on a nearby bench. It wasn’t until a few minutes later when a concerned Jack came up to her and asked what was wrong, before she told him and he smothered her face in kisses. 

The parade around his pseudo-hometown is absolutely insane. Ashley doesn’t even know how she has a voice by mid-afternoon, much less how Jack has one considering that he’s been yelling all day. At some point, she forces him to sit down and chug a giant water bottle. 

But she can’t overthink too hard. Her phone’s filled with pictures of Jack with his loved ones and she just feels proud. 

Some of Jack’s extended family who still live in the area offered their home to host a party that night with just friends and family. Ashley did all she could to help prepare, which included coming over to decorate the night before and parking herself in the kitchen the second they got there to offer a helping hand. Well, she tried, before every single person pushed her away and insisted she go join the celebrations. 

She finds herself in a long, in-depth conversation with one of Jack’s younger cousins who’s thinking about working in media when she notices it suddenly becomes quiet. Suddenly, the light flickers off and Ashley is confused.

Jack then walks in with a circular cake with candles lit paired with his beautiful smile. Ashley blinks in confusion as everyone’s eyes fall on her and before she can ask what the hell is going on, Luke bounds over to her and swings an arm around her shoulder, shaking her. 

“Congrats on your promotion, Ash!” Luke exclaims. 

Her mouth drops open and she looks around as everyone in the room cheers and shouts out their congratulations. She chuckles in shock as Jack walks closer. And then suddenly, all she can focus on is him. 

“What are you doing?” She whispers, suddenly wanting to cry. 

“Come on,” he says with the softest smile. “You didn’t think I’d just keep the news to myself, did you?”

“But this is your day,” she chokes out. 

“My day. Your day. It’s all the same, eh?” Jack nods at the candles. “Hurry up. My arms are getting tired.”

A watery laugh from her before she blows out the candles at everyone’s cheers. Jack places the cake on a nearby table before smothering her in a tight hug. Ashley’s heart could burst right now at the love she feels from the people in the room and the person in her arms. She gets a chance to really look at the cake, which is white and sage with “Congratulations Jack and Ashley!” in beautiful script at the center. The lights turn back on and Quinn’s the first one who comes up to hug her. As Ellen is giving Ashley a kiss on the cheek, she sees Jack over Ellen’s shoulder, smiling at her. 

She swallows as she pulls away, before glancing at the ring on her left finger. Ashley’s never let herself want much in her life. But if someone asked her what she wants with her life, she would just place them in this room. Right here. Right now. 

(They cut the cake together. Ashley feels a buzzing joy throughout her bones)

[sitp-recs]

Hi anon! For some reason I wasn’t able to reply your ask so I’m posting it instead. Here are some recs for messy/tumultuous relationship, and you can check my break up make up list for some additional titles. Enjoy!

Five Years by @shiftylinguini (M, 4.6k)

For Draco, December means finding somewhere he can lose himself in the thrum of a crowd and the throb of music ― and Potter. It always means Potter now, too.

A Pain of Our Choosing by @lqtraintracks (E, 6k)

It’s 8th year and everyone’s still a bit messed up. Harry and Draco fall into being messed up together.

The most he’s ever said by @fastbrother (E, 16k)

It takes them twenty years.

freely, as men strive for right by bixgirl1 (E, 17k)

How can Harry love a man like Draco Malfoy? If only Draco would let him count the ways.

Famous by fwooshy (E, 24k)

It's a couple of years after the war, and Harry's bored of models now, the same way he's bored of Ron's constant nagging, bored of his Weasley monogram knitwear, bored of the same fucking grin that greets him when he hands his fire-truck red Bugatti over to the valet every night. He wants to find—well, he isn't sure what he wants.

Tuxedo Angel by tryslora (E, 25k)

Harry and Neville are looking for the infamous Dragon Lily, a Dark witch active throughout Europe and Asia. Instead, they find the Tuxedo Angel, a beautiful witch performing in Rome.

Fine-Fractured Halo by @rainjulyx (E, 29k) - Cw: unhappy ending

For Harry, it all starts on July 31, 1999 and ends on July 31, 2019. Twenty years of longing, love, and pain in no particular order.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (E, 41k)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t.

Harry Potter Gives a Shit by talithan (E, 58k)

“Where are you headed?” “No place special,” Draco fumbled, and flushed further. But then: “I can change that,” said Harry Potter.

Running Mate by @kbrick (E, 171k)

Nearly a decade after his relationship with Draco Malfoy imploded, Harry has a good life. He’s riding a wave of entrepreneurial success in muggle Chicago, and, for the first time ever, he's beholden to no one. Meanwhile, Draco is in London, making a name for himself in politics, and appears to be happily married.

Tales From the Special Branch by Femme (E, WIP)

When Gawain Robards asks him to form Special Branch seven-four-alpha, Harry Potter knows they'll have to work outside the confines of the law--even though they are the law.

[mysouleaten]

' TOKYO REV MASTERLIST '

YOU SEEM TO LET THE TIDE BRING YOU HERE!

ONE SHOTS

late night ride with... kakucho! - kakucho x gn!reader

summary... it's your first time riding a motorbike! and you wanted to spend that first time with kakucho! ... he's very nervous

no title [requested] - baji x gn!reader

summary ... after having a nice dinner with baji and his mother, you start feeling unwell.... BUT baji is there to help!

IM... SPIDERMAN ! - PLATONIC! child! takemichi x older! sibling! reader

summary ... you confess your hidden secret to your baby brother..

WHY YOU!? NOT ME!? - PLATONIC! takemichi x sano!teen! reader

summary... takemichi thought the letter from the philippines was from manjiro sano but instead of him it was his daughter..

so embarrassing... - baji x fem!reader

summary ... baji pointed out his crush to toman but told them not to look.. but they all looked anyway and now he's trying to speed walk away out of embarrassment

ITS GOING TO GET COLD.. - PLATONIC! izana & kakucho x PARENTAL! reader

summary ... izana and kakucho make a promise to their mother, promising to come back home safe and well... one of them didn't get to fulfill that promise

goodie love - kisaki x fem!reader

summary ... kisaki's great at delivering goodies to his girlfriend but... kisaki is awkward at cuddling..

SECRET LOVE!? - souya[angry] x fem!reader

summary ... takemichi and chifuyu stumble across angry...and his girlfriend!?! and smiley doesn't even know about her!?!!!

I JUST WANTED TO KISS YOU... - kakucho x blind!fem!reader

summary ... during a night walk on the bridge you offer kakucho a kiss..

SERIES

raining cats and dogs ! - tokyo rev! cats x gn!reader [on-hold]

summary ... it only started with [name] taking in two strays when they were driving home from work, it was pouring and the two poor strays were soaked! you couldn't leave them… so you took them in

[part two] [part three] [part four] ...

THIEF !! - PLATONIC! pet shop owners! baji, chifuyu and kazutora x teen!reader [on-hold]

summary... [name] has been stealing from a pet shop to feed strays around her home for a while and the pet shop owners are curious about who could be stealing pet food… that only costs one-thousand yen…[name] thinks it's expensive! :(but baji says otherwise!!

[part two] [part three] [part four] [part five] ...

HES MY SON! ..AND YES HIM TOO! - PLATONIC! child! izana, kakucho x PARENTAL FIGURE! reader [on-hold]

summary ... kakucho was getting adopted! .. but that meant he had to leave izana--his king-- behind ... OH! never mind he's coming home with him too!!

[preview] [part two] ...

DOC AND BOSS masterlist - mafia boss! izana x doctor! reader

summary ... finding an injured member of the tenjiku yakuza hiding in an alleyway beside your apartment you decide to help... not knowing he's the one in charge.. and it seems he has a very soft spot for you??

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 14 thoughts

(after having seen this episode, i can confidently announce that it is making the top 15!!! god it was just!! so incredible!!! the undying devotion to each other!! i want to frame the way he cups her cheeks!!! i'm crying! you're crying! everyone cried!!!!!!!!)

ah, this episode. i have seen this one mentioned before. i’m interested to see if it was for good reasons or for bad reasons. i can tell that it will be angsty and hurt my feelings, but whether that is written in a way i approve of or not is hard to predict after my intense fight with last episode! and how mean mulder was!

so. reading this description. he’s going to look for answers for her. oh my god. AGAIN. not a mere coworker thing. but i digress. i have a feeling i’ll need to forget that part about their whole power dynamic from the last episode in order to move forward. 

also a little confused as to what the title is going to mean... i know it refers to a reminder of mortality, but in my art history course we looked at a bunch of memento mori art where skeletons just. burst into rooms. and interrupted dances. and i don't really want to see that today.

entering my forgetting mode…. okay. okay. i think i’m here. memory is blank. i am neutral. let us begin.

OH MY GOD SCULLY OPENING MONOLOGUE. okay hold it together. HOLD IT TOGETHER.

wait she’s writing something. who is she writing to? damn, she is very poetic when she puts her mind to it.

“hope you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you” wait. wait hold on. wait hold on….. wait. (insert that sobbing cat image here)

she thinks she is going to DIE?????????

is she writing a letter to go with her will or something?!?!?? wah…. WAHHHHH 

she holds an x ray of her brain (i think that’s what it is, sorry to the stem girlies if it’s some sort of other genre of scan) that clearly shows a tumor………..

:( :( :(

mulder has flowers!!! he is asking where to go in the hospital instead of just looking for the sign directly in front of him. this shows that he is very worried.

he sees her through a window and stares a bit…… before he comes in the room

“i, uh, i stole these from some guy with a broken leg down the hall. he won’t be able to catch me” <- you absolute liar saying ANYTHING to make her smile. oh my god and it WORKED and she’s smiling and he’s smiling and i’m gonna cry already 

look at how he’s looking at her…….. i cannot reconcile this with the last episode at all. i’m sorry, i cannot. and for this reason i once again toss it out of my mind.

HE’S THE ONLY ONE SHE’S CALLED!!?!!?!?? their relationship. it's just. so.

oh my god, she says she has cancer, and he immediately assumes it has to be treatable. she has to tell him it doesn’t seem to be. his unwavering faith...

“i refuse to believe that” <- oh my GOD. oh my GOD. his face his eyes oh my god. he cannot lose her.

“for all the times that i have said that to you, i am as certain about this as you have ever been” SCULLY NOOoOoOOoo

(it must be so horrific to be a doctor and know exactly how you’re dying and that there is nothing you can do…)

he looks so utterly lost and she is trying to hold it together to tell him that if it progresses, she will have no chance of survival. 

“i don’t accept that”, he says, stuttering in disbelief; “there must be some people who’ve received treatment for this. we can….” he fails to finish that thought

(his unwavering belief for even a second that they could find a way needs to be studied in a lab. this man is so intrinsically loyal to the 3 people he holds close it actually makes my heart hurt. i feel aching in my chest)

oh my god he is the DEFINITION of “everything i let go of is covered in claw marks”. he cannot BEAR to lose anything else. he is grasping so firmly to the idea that there HAS to be a way. and she is trying to be resigned to her fate. how strong she is, i think, as she puts on her bravest face, telling him she is going to die.

oh my god, she has to tell SKINNER???? what the fuck. i never even CONSIDERED that. he says he is so sorry while mulder is twisting around in the background because he cannot stay still in moments of stress; i’m recalling how he bounced his basketball up and down, up and down when she was in her coma

they’re going to try and track down the women from allentown they met last year who they talked to about the abductions and the neck implants before she begins any treatment. skinner is reminding them both that they have access to the best treatments in the country. but scully must know that the best isn't enough.

scully says she wants to pursue this through the justice department whilst mulder nods enthusiastically. skinner seems confused but he acquiesces. what else can you do?

so they go to allentown, where they are informed that betsy (the main woman that scully had spoken with regarding the abduction experience) just passed away. and the realtor doesn’t want to let them in before her garage sale, but mulder POINTEDLY pulls out his badge AGAIN, and you know his ass is going in whether she likes it or not. 

(the angry way he pulled out that badge did something to my heart)

scully is having terrible flashbacks from the last time she was here. poor girl...

the realtor is watching mulder pick up the phone and scully points out someone is sending a fax! realtor is just standing there. with hate in her heart.

they go down to the basement and find…. a computer. that someone is copying all of the files from remotely!! some guy named kurt is allegedly copying all that information down. off to kurt’s place. who are, you kurt? a force for evil, i assume?

he is not answering the door and mulder is going to to check the back instead of just wait there because again, he cannot sit still for a minute. and bam! they find kurt. woah. mulder takes him down QUICK. 

NO NO NO. she’s bleeding from her nose….. she says she’s fine. “quit staring at me, i’m fine” <- oh she is so not fine. those are not the words said by someone who is fine.

(after having seen this episode, i still can't stop thinking about this interaction. how angry she seemed to be seen as someone worth pitying or worrying over. how she must have known that would keep happening in the future, how she wanted to hold onto her agency for however long she had left in this world. there was fury in there to cover up the terrible insecurity that comes from fate being out of your hands and the perceived, if not intended, condescension of needing to be cared for. because she is the one that does the caring, and not the other way around. and how she tried so hard to keep working despite knowing the time was ticking, to tell mulder to stop worrying about her, keep his eyes on the mission and off of her... there's so much to be said)

more blood is dripping into the sink in the bathroom. mulder is knocking on the door, asking if she is okay.

(oh my gooood, i’m not sure which angle of angst is worse here: mulder watching scully suffer, blaming himself for if he cannot find a cure OR scully having to carry on through her sickness and see how terrible it is for people around her to grieve her while she’s still living)

this kurt fellow claims he was in the same UFO network, and was copying the files as betsy had told him to. he ran because he thinks the government is trying to suppress that information. hmm. mulder seems to believe him. but they can’t cross check him….

she asks why not, and mulder won’t answer. 

kurt says that all of the women scully met last year died from brain cancer, except for one who is in the hospital named penny, and it doesn’t look good for her.

kurt is insisting that this is in fact a conspiracy, but mulder says he needs to talk to scully. and he walks her out of his view.

oh my GOD i need to copy this whole exchange down hold on….

“i want you to listen to me” “about what?” “about what you won’t admit to yourself- what you’re denying” “what am i denying?” “where your cancer came from” “mulder, it doesn’t matter” “it does matter. if what you have is a result of your abduction and that abduction is something the government knows about, then those are facts that should be brought to light” “i don’t know what happened to me. i have no clear recollection. and i don’t think these abductions are even abductions”

(and when she said that line, she was so furious, thinking the distinction didn't matter in the face of impossible odds, but he insists that it does, because justice ought to be brought to light- and it's not him circling back to UFOs like he always does out of his own self-interest, it's him trying every so gently to break to her that this could be something much bigger than them, a way that she was wronged that ought to happen to no one else- but she still cannot even begin to process it)

“all these women are dead” “no, they are not. one woman isn’t- this penny northern”

(and the desperation in that line as well; there was anger there, a need to pull on any and all threads, so needed that it blew her cool cover about how detached she seemed to her own mortality- she wants to live)

“mm-hmm. if you won’t listen to me, then i think you should go talk to her”

(the gentleness here, how he is trying to softly nudge her, how carefully he keeps his voice even despite the audience KNOWING that he just wants to shake her, beg her to do anything at all that could help her)

“about what? what it feels like to be dying of cancer? what it’s like to know that there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it?”

(oh my god the FURY in her voice here… how she was trying to fight back her voice cracking)

“if that’s too hard for you, then i think you should go as an investigator. you have one remaining witness, agent scully. i’d think you’d want to know what her story is”

oh my god the subtle “agent” in there… the way he’s trying to remind her that she is capable and can maybe find a way out of this, just maybe. the way he kept his voice so even the entire time like he was putting every effort he had into it.

i think that conversation will haunt me forever. 

(god those two were ACTING. i just KNOW that when they got that script they were excited as fuck)

scully goes to visit penny, who remembers her, saying she held and comforted scully “in the place”

scully carefully tells her that she doesn’t remember this, but penny assures her that’s okay. penny thinks she’s here to ask about dr. scanlon, who is treating the cancer, and treated betsy’s too. my money is bet on the fact that he is actually making them worse….

apparently dr. scanlon thinks he figured it out what causes this kind of cancer. and scully has tears in her eyes. oh my god. is she believing the scanlon propaganda...?

mulder is going through a bunch of files with kurt, then he's on the phone with her. “now call me an early bird, but i think i found something” <- oh my god he’s such a nerd, even when he’s fighting for scully’s life….

he thinks this whole thing is connected to a local fertility clinic, but she doesn't want to hear his theories- she’s asking him to please bring the overnight bag from the car, and call her mom to ask for some things so she can be admitted for treatment.

his breathless “is there anything i should know?” and her answer: “mulder, whatever you found, or whatever you might find, i think that we both know that right now the truth is in me… and that’s where i need to pursue it. as soon possible” 

AND HE SAYS HE WILL BE RIGHT THERE 😭😭

see, this is what i love about them. how they can say so much with so few words, how they would do anything for each other; if one of them needed the moon, the other would start researching how to tear it from the sky. this bond that is so… it’s back to the old question, are soulmates natural or are they formed? with them, they just seem to have that connection. and even when their differences might lead them to fight, it is just a underlying current, that togetherness. and it seems so natural.

(but i just know that the minute he leaves the place, all the files he’s going through are going to somehow get destroyed! i have seen too much of this show to expect otherwise)

mulder slams the file cabinet shut before he leaves and kurt is looking around. what is he planning, this devious kurt fellow?

someone else drives forward as he pulls away. girl is it gonna be CSM?!?!

someone is approaching. okay, it is not CSM. whoever it is has the needle you use to kill the aliens!!! is it the alien bounty hunter? i cannot tell… these white men blend together and also he can shape shift so who tf knows.

but kurt is DOWN and he is BLEEDING THE FIZZY GREEN BLOOD!! kurt was an alien?!?!?! why didn’t he heal those women??! is he involved with making them sick???! i have questions. many many questions.

the fizzy stuff is like dissolving him. not sure we have time to unpack that.

scully is laying in the hospital bed…. dr. scanlon is watching. okay, creepy, but maybe doctors have to do that sometimes. 

she says she doesn’t feel sick, and i typed sock at first, which would be far more lighthearted, wouldn’t it, if she didn’t feel like a sock? 

i don’t trust this guy. 

he straight up says that the radiation and chemo is going to make her feel like she is dying. and at that moment, mrs. scully walks in. she is… very unsettled. and the doctor says they want to start treatment this afternoon. 

despite telling mulder she knows she is going to die, she is trying to reassure her mother that everything is fine. that’s very interesting to me. that she feels she can be honest with him about the lack of hope, but needs to lie to her mother.

mrs. mulder is furious that scully didn’t tell her right away, but she says she wanted to get the answers first. she’s shaking as she says she doesn’t want to be kept in the dark. damn. she really has suffered so much.

oh my GOD... she kisses her cheek and hugs her, saying that she has always been the strong one… but she is her only daughter now. and they hold each other. pain. pain. and suffering.

they’re putting her in some stuff for radiation as scully narrates the evil of cancer, how it becomes one with the person it targets. she says it’s science's answer to an exorcism.

WAIT SHE’S ADDRESSING MULDER?? she must be continuing her letter from earlier……

“and if the darkness should have swallowed me as you read this, you must never think there was the possibility of some secret intervention, something you might have done” STOP. the way she KNOWS he will always, always blame himself, and is trying to say something to stop him from doing so just this once.

he’s breaking into a place because he wants to find anything at all… hmm where is he doing some good old b&e today?

“and though we’ve traveled far together, this last distance must necessarily be traveled alone” no…. no :( no :( 

she knows that he will never stop searching for an answer… to the point where he won’t be able to lead his own life… and so she thinks she should go ahead alone… oh my god. oh my god. is she referring to the treatment process? or the inevitability of death?

he’s breaking into the fertility clinic that he mentioned before. gonna do some typing in the dark. but someone is here with him!!! who???

a guy in a sweater. “i’ve got a gun pointed at your head, turn around very slowly” mulder announces with PERFECT calm.

god i love him. have i mentioned that i love him? how he is willing to die and kill for the ones he loves? and how he is NOT just some bully or mean boss? yes. i’m bitter. 

IT’S KURT!! but we know it is NOT REALLY KURT. because we saw that kurt is dead. so it must be the alien bounty hunter in a new skin? WHAT DOES "KURT" WANT? 

“he” (whoever it is in the flesh suit that was once kurt’s) claims he is also trying to hack into the clinic's system, but can’t get the password right. i guess that he is going to hack and delete everything???

mulder picks up a snowglobe and guesses the password!!!!! yeahhh snowglobes.

woah. cutscene to something being drilled into scully’s head…. must be a flashback from the abduction.

penny is by scully’s side, telling her she’ll be okay as she wakes up from the nightmare. they grasp hands, scully says she feels sick, and that she had a dream where “someone was doing something bad to me”. apparently penny was allowed to tend to her during the procedures. but scully says she can’t hear this right now. 

penny says if she can make sense of it, it’ll help her through the pain, to understand why it is happening to her.

okay, cutscene to skinner’s office. where mulder is sitting before he even gets in there. “i need you to set up a meeting for me”. skinner says “hold all my calls” in that gruff voice of his. i like his serious voice. and i am tense, expecting a fight to go down, or tears to be shed, or something.

oh tea…. mulder found a file from the fertility clinic with scully’s name on it… but he says he’s sure, “pretty damn sure” that she’s never undergone treatment for infertility. this could be very awkward if he is wrong. he seems confident, though.... have they had further discussion about families like they did in home? but even if she WAS undergoing treatment, why would she do it in a random town in pennsylvania? so i guess that his confusion makes sense. 

so he wants a meeting with…. CIGARETTE MAN. “you’ve come to me like this before”, skinner points out, but mulder says he’s willing to DEAL NOW. he knows he’s behind all this. “you offer this man anything, and he will own you forever”, warns skinner. a real deal with the devil…

hold on. i just remembered that in canon CSM killed JFK and MLK jr and writes bad fiction. a wild fellow. and i’m also remembering how mulder broke into his house and asked “why her” with his gun pointing right to his head. i am remembering a lot of things.

mulder is yelling that CSM must have known what they did to agent scully. “but you can’t ask the truth of a man who trades in lies- i won’t let you” says skinner. oh damn…. oh damn. skinner just wants him to be safe but this isn’t going to go over well

they are staring at each other. and he insists that mulder find another way. damn, those two have been through a lot. all those times mulder should have been fired… skinner showing up covered in blood to track him down to some arctic alien base… that time mulder was experiencing psychosis and punched skinner in the face… skinner’s murder accusations… these two have such a fascinating dynamic. i love it. i really need to dive into that someday. i need fic of whatever the fuck it is that is going on between them.

so, what other way can mulder find? the lone gunmen, of course!!

they hack into her file from the clinic and see a gene code… it’s a DNA mutation.

“you guys ever been to the lombard research facility?” (everyone turns to frohike, who shakes his head) “well, pick out something black and sexy and prepare to do some funky poaching” <- LMAO i was surprised to get a genuine giggle during such a dark episode

(neeeeed to know how these dweebs met. all four of them. i know there’s a spin-off series so maybe someday i’ll learn the answers, but until then i’m concocting theories)

skinner is entering mulder’s office. but who is there…. NONE OTHER THAN CSM. “it’s funny,” he says, “i always thought of you as fox mulder’s patron” hey what does that mean. hey what does that mean. is skinner hiding something….?

ohhhh, skinner just accused him of being the devil. 

skinner says he needs a miracle… “what’ll it take?” he asks. OHHHH my god…. skinner loves those two so bad………. a deal with the devil for them….

CSM says that “he’ll have to get back to him on that” when it comes to what it will take for scully’s life…………. skinner what can you offer??????

lone gunmen are breaking into a storm drain. do you think the redhead and the long haired one with glasses are lovers? i think it might be more fun to imagine that they are. i never learned their names. perhaps i am a bad fan. 

mulder and the redhead set out!!! time to break into the facility!!!

okay i think the redhead is named byers? or else frohike’s making a reference i don’t understand. 50/50 odds on that.

they’re going in!!! they’re running!!! mulder has his leather jacket!!! byers (?) sees a keypad to enter a code.

(yes yes, his name is truly byers. we all learned something today. or at least i did)

OHHH, okay, the glasses one is langly. that name is familiar, actually. i appreciate how they are purposefully announcing the names for people like me. langly declares that this a toughie, and will take a moment to hack into. 

OMG!! the doctor treating scully’s cancer works at this research facility they're breaking into!!! I KNEW WE COULDN’T TRUST THAT MFER. i am innately suspicious of doctors. and langly gets them into the building. 

mulder tasks byers to GO TELL SCULLY TO STOP TREATMENT NOW because this scanlon fellow is a LIAR!!!!

(imagine how that went down...)

scully is writing to him again….. penny has taken downturn. “mulder, i feel you close, though i know you are now pursuing your own path” <-GIRL HE’S BREAKING AND ENTERING FOR YOU!!! THE PATHS YOU WALK ARE NOT SO FAR APART!!

“i need to know you’re out there if i am ever to see through this” oh my god….. he gives her hope to keep going…. something to fight for…

mulder is getting lost on the video feed while byers tries to make an escape…. but the cops are approaching!!!!!

he finds a door and slams on it… and who is inside but MULTIPLE KURT DUPES!!! the damn aliens!!!!!!

they welcome mulder in by name. he puts together that they are hybirds, and they beckon him in so they can explain in further detail.

there’s a creature in a tank i don’t much care for. okay. actually many many creatures in tanks. 

the kurts are saying they are trying to subvert the project that created “us”. OH! mulder sees into the tank and it’s the same shape of the boy he saw up in canada with his fake sister!!! so they are the end results… and they want the same thing he does??? i guess. 

he takes them to a room filled with “human ova”. including one from betsy. oh no… oh god… yes, they took it during her abduction, and from all the women they abducted, including scully. i don’t want to think about what “super ovulation” means. but mulder is shocked. imagine him having to explain to scully that he held her ova in his hands. and the procedure that leaves them barren (!!!) also gives them the cancer.

(frantically opens the wikipedia article for human ovaries before realizing i can figure out the details later)

this clearly has implications for their family planning chats. god, is he gonna be the one to tell her that she can't have children....?

but the kurts are trying to save them!!! because these women are their mothers!!!!

so, do we believe the kurts?? i'm not sure. if we know there are a bunch, does that mean the hacker kurt from earlier could actually be a good guy? or was he really the bounty hunter working on further nefarious actions?

bro straight up pocketed her ova. he’s a real one for that. do they have to be cold or something?? luckily, i have never had to ask these questions.

byers is currently dodging the cops, and the guy that killed OG kurt is now looking for some violence. 

NO…. mystery man is shooting at mulder!!!! the glass is bulletproof but it stopped being so after like 3 clips.

luckily the boys provide him an escape JUST IN TIME. shoutout to the lone gunmen fr.

he runs back to allentown and doesn’t find scully in her bed!!! but he finds her journal with the letters she had been writing to mulder. oh, he reads them....

where is scully?????? she’s with penny. penny is dying. she tells her that dr. scanlon isn’t coming back. and penny says that she’s been such a comfort, and to not give up hope. scully begins to cry.

mulder is sitting in a hospital chair at 5 am, falling asleep outside the room. finally, scully leaves penny’s room, crying. 

he confesses to reading some of what she wrote…. but she says he didn’t want her to read that. and that she has decided she’s not going to let this thing beat her. she looks so tired…. so sick…. 

was scalon killing these women in the name of the secret alien project? “that will be proven if we find him” “when we find him” OUGHHH 

she says she has things to finish, to prove to herself and her family. and he’s smiling at her. a real smile. telling her to come on back. 

ohhhh and they’re hugging. he’s tucking her head under his chin and rubbing her shoulder.

“the truth will save you, scully. i think it’ll save both of us” <-OHHHHHHHH MY GOD I AM GOING TO RIP AND TEAR AND YELL AND SCREAM AND HOLLER!!!

WAIT OH MY GOD I WAS SCREAMING BEFORE BUT THEN HE SO GENTLY TURNS HER AND KISSES HER FOREHEAD……. shut up. it’s so tender it’s so terribly tender. 

(a day later and i am still fixated on this. how terribly terribly gentle he is with her. it reminds me of how he held her face during beyond the sea, which, prior to this, was one of my favorite moments ever, and now i have TWO of them. he loves her so deeply in every sense of the word. and she loves him, deciding to keep fighting, to draw strength from him but also to honor herself, to achieve the things she has always meant to do, because she knows that she is worth fighting for)

finally they let go, and as she walks down the hall, he pulls out her ova from his pocket…. i’m so torn because my heart is still absolutely torn in half from how gentle that moment just was, but i’m also sitting here thinking… dude, do we need to get that into a freezer or something??

skinner answers the phone- at 5:30 AM! mulder says he was going to leave a voicemail and is shocked to hear him. mulder thanks him for his advice, and says it was wise to steer clear of CSM. they have to find out what he knows, but they need another way. skinner says there’s always another way, but as the camera moves, we see the room filled with smoke and a hand holding a cigarette…

he says “yes i believe there is, if you’re willing to pay the price” SKINNER BE CAREFUL I’M SCARED

do you think the writers purposefully associated cigarettes with the sleaziest and most awful character in order to get the children to stop smoking….?

end episode.

okay. i have so many thoughts. let’s start: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAHHHHGGGGGGGGGGWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH

okay. that could have gone on for longer, but i’m going to compose myself. 

scully… my poor sweet scully, writing about her own death to mulder……… how helpless and resigned and furious she felt, yet still tried to be strong for her mother and for him…. how she decided to come back to work despite what she is going through…. the grief of mourning yourself and those around you mourning you… she looked so sick and exhausted, her terrible nightmares, being unable to accept what happened to her, holding penny close only to lose her too…. the incredible strength it takes her to decide to get back to work and keep fighting when everything hurts and the odds are so slim… god scully you really have suffered so terribly…. turning back from narrating her life in the past tense to the present tense…. it was very very very powerful

and mulder never for a single second ever stopping. how he completely refused to believe that anything was impossible. his smile when he brought the flowers to her in the hospital, the way his face fell when he realized what was going on, but refused to believe that anything could take her from him. the way he kept his voice even in the conversation in the hall. how he brought her the things from the car, how he barreled into her room when she wasn’t there, reading her journal in terror, how he smiled and held her, ran his fingers through her hair, gently kissed her forehead. how he took her ova, which sounds so crazy out of context, but in context it’s soul-crushing. he grabbed it for her. kept them in his pocket as she decided to keep fighting. a conversation for another day.

and skinner making deals with the devil, but only by himself, never even thinking to let mulder do it….

so where do we go from here?

if the treatment from dr. scanlon was making the patients worse, that immediate obstacle has now been removed. but that doesn’t fix the cancer itself. is skinner going to have to bargain with CSM? whatever CSM wants, it clearly isn’t money- so what could skinner even give him? my guess would be deactivating the x files in exchange for what will save scully, or maybe firing mulder entirely to keep him off of the trail of his nefarious alien deeds. or perhaps something even more evil, like access to one of those mars rocks with the oil aliens in them, or maybe someone important assassinated, maybe a coup in the syndicate (is that what their little UN alien groupchat is called? i saw it when i looked something up once).

man, skinner’s role in this was brief but substantial. what is he going to do? what sort of deal is he willing to make? i really really need to get into exploring the dynamic between the three of them more. it’s fascinating. how he won’t let mulder make the deal, but he’ll do it himself… he must really care for them a lot more than he lets on. 

oh my god. scully is gonna keep fighting…. <3

i really, really loved this episode. in fact, i’m positive that it will dethrone the blessing way and take that episode’s place in the top 15. this is an IMMENSE compliment. i still laughed a little despite the soul crushing sorrow, which i think is a sign of masterful writing.

i think this episode really really understood mulder and scully as characters. mulder with his need to chase to the ends of the earth to find the Truth, his need to put a smile on her face, his tenderness when it comes down to it, and scully with her bravery, attempting to keep herself strong for others while grappling with the metaphysical implications of dying, rejecting that conclusion after her own soul searching, and despite being busy with wrapping her head around this devastating news, she was still taking the time to bring comfort to penny. the complimentary needs to Protect and to Heal between them. it’s always going to get me.

you know that post i made about either jumping up and down or throwing my laptop in a river over their dynamic? THIS is jump up and down territory, baby.

i have a feeling that what comes next will not be easy, but i hope it brings great truth, and a delicate balance of love and angst. 

i’m curious to know what people think of how scully’s diagnosis is depicted. i’m sure we’re going to get more into it so i don’t want to jump the gun yet, but i’d be interested to know if her depiction gave a sense of visibility to people dealing with cancer, or if they think the episode/arc as a whole missed the mark. is it empowering to see someone make the conscious effort to keep fighting? is it offensive to think of cancer as something given to you by secret government plot? or was it such a relief to see someone going through the same thing as you no matter if it’s origins were more exotic than in life? where will they go from here in terms of how she handles it? 

i’d be really interested to read how people with cancer view her story. i’m sure someone out there has written on it; i’ll have to take a look someday when i’m not dodging spoilers.

the other thing i'm wondering about is the reaction to the alien breeding program reveal. it definitely speaks to the concerns over bodily autonomy and reproductive injustice that are increasingly relevant issues. i don't think it is supposed to make me feel comfortable, but it definitely succeeded at making me feel uncomfortable, if you catch my drift. something about those women being violated and losing all agency over themselves as a plot point rubs me the wrong way. and i think it is supposed to, but i'm not sure to what extent. idk, you just wouldn't see that happening to mulder's character, you know? it wouldn't be his bodily autonomy violated. it's as if we're so used to it happening to women in real life that it can easily become a plot point in science fiction, as if that just comes with the gendered baggage of being alive when you have ovaries-sometimes the aliens will harvest them. how does that speak on the way these writers see women as a whole? i'm unsure. but we have time to think it over.

my heart is a bit battered and bruised to see scully suffering so, but it is healing in knowing that they will have each other, and a renewed commitment to keep chasing the truth. and i am gonna go like idk claw at a pillow now to cope.

and then they all lived happily ever after. amen.

[drchenquill]

✨ Writerblr intro ✨

[Because my old one was crusty and in dire need of a revamp]

Hello lovely person who stumbled upon this blog! I'm glad to have you and I welcome you to my writeblr! Let's start with a little writer introduction, shall we?

About me~

✨ 21+

✨ she/her

✨ You can call me anything you want! I don't have preferences in names!

✨ Animal lover! (proud owner of three dogs and four cats!)

✨ English is NOT my first language. Motherlanguages are Italian-German.

✨ I only write in German so everything you see here got translated.

✨ You can go check out my Pinterest where you can find boards of some of my OCs!

About my writing~

My favorite genres to write in are fantasy and romance (I dabble in other genres, but those are my main ones). I just love the fluff, the angst, the magic, everything to do with those genres.

I have a lot of WIPs, and I won't bore you by listing them all (because, let's be honest, the number can change at any moment.) But I do have some stories I've finished and translated that I can list!

Who's to judge?

"Humans, vampires. They always existed, they always fought for a place in this vast world. Some succeed, some lose themself in the journey to freedom. Thana was different. She never fought, she never stepped out of line. Thana gave up. She had nothing to fight for, nothing to hold onto.

But what would happen if one accident forces her out of her comfort zone? What would happen if she had to fight for something she had long forgotten? Fight for people she thought meant nothing to her?"

Crime/Mystery/Thriller/Vampires

The Monster's Pearl

"There was once a castle. It was huge and dark, not a soul dared to go near it. It was called "The Gate of the Underworld" because a lonely man lived there. Rumor had it that he was a demon who had crawled out of hell.

There was once a simple family. They had a healthy boy. He had black curls. They were so dark that even the night was afraid to get lost in them. His eyes were so bright that even the sun had to look away to avoid being blinded. His voice silenced the birds so that they could listen to him.

The little boy grew up healthy, unaware of the background to his birth. On his eighteenth birthday, he received two suitcases and a letter that would change his whole life.

Will he be able to adjust to his new life, or will he throw it all away?"

Romance/Drama/Fantasy/LGBTQ+

The Shadow of Her Dreams

"Molly Potts is an ordinary young woman who lives with her family in a small village in the middle of nowhere. Despite her peaceful life, she feels a great need to leave, to go somewhere where she can experience something instead of dying of boredom. But her monotonous life is quickly thrown off course when she and her brother discover something that will shake up their entire lives. And who is this woman who keeps appearing in her dreams?"

Fantasy/Adventure/Romance/Greek Mythology insipired

Short Stories

"As the title already explains, this is a collection of short stories that are too short to become a book, but still wanted to be told."

a lot of different genres

Foliè

"No one knew when it had begun. No one knew when the world had decided to destroy itself. But everyone knew that it was no longer safe. She thought she was safe, she thought the madness couldn't touch her, but all it took was a faint whisper, a tender promise, to drag her into damnation. Will she be able to free herself? Or will she discover things she is not up to?"

Dystopian, Mystery, Drama

WIPs

There are some WIPs I mentioned here and there, so I will make a little introduction for those~

Him and Me - Bound by Fate

"Leon Martens. A young art teacher ready to start a new life. He has a new job, a new apartment and maybe a change for peace. Sure, he struggles with human interactions and he'd rather not meet any humans in general, but he's happy with what he has. But since fate was something Leon couldn't prevent, he was thrown into a whirlwind of situations that made him question reality and, more than once, his own mental stability."

Fantasy/Mystery/Romance/LGBTQ+

Daisy

"Daisy ran, she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She fled from a fate that was being forced upon her. She fled from her pack, or rather, from her alpha. The young Daisy was an omega. Ever since she was born, she knew that being born an omega was a curse. Her alpha believed that she belonged to him, that he could mark her, but Daisy wouldn't let that happen. Daisy wanted freedom, but what if her freedom led her into another pack? Will they be the same? And who is this nameless alpha that is considered as monster but manages to make her forget her fear?"

Werewolves/Romance/Drama

The Memories of The Future

"Sophie is an easily excitable, cheerful young girl. She lives with her aunt after her parents tragically passed away. Unfortunately, she doesn't remember much about them since she was just a baby. Her aunt and her border collie, Pepper, are the only ones Sophie has in her heart, and she'll spend the rest of her life with them. The only problem with her idyllic life is that little old Sophie has the attention span of a squirrel and it's hyperactivity. She misplaces, forgets, runs around, misplaces again, and those silly dreams and sudden flashes don't help. Also, who is this tall man who suddenly appears and claims that Sophie has visions? No, those are not visions, she just has a very vivid imagination, right?"

Fantasy/Adventure/Comedy

Adelaide

"Adelaide Blackmore, the gossip of all Povington. Growing up as the youngest of four children, with three full-grown and well-behaved sons, she was the worst thing that could have happened to her parents. Wild red hair that the maid had to style every day in vain. Her chemise dresses always had to be dark in color, as she didn't feel the need to avoid puddles or stay out of mud. The look in her dark eyes was penetrating, never receding. She grew up with three brothers, her whole childhood was spent fighting with the boys, so her noble mother couldn't expect her to grow up as a lady, not when she had to assert herself on a daily basis.

But Adelaide must be married, or her poor mother may never rest in peace. Enter Mr. Duncan Gilingham. A young man in his early 30s, he has just moved to Povington with his dear mother to find peace in the country. How nice, he was not married yet! But… oh dear, no wonder he is not married, the poor man was blind. How will Adelaide deal with this? Will she have pity on him, or is not even his blindness safe from her sharp tongue? How will she react when she finds in him a match for her rude nature, a man she thought incapable of taking care of himself?"

Romance/Drama

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I am not a big rambler because I don't want to annoy anyone but I'm always open to questions or any sort of interactions. Also, i'm very tag game friendly!

Thank you for reading this far, I appreciate it! You are an amazing human being, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 19/10

That's true - we don't know for sure that Trollian can fully emulate Sburb's surveillance capabilities.

If the trolls were sufficiently motivated, though, they wouldn't actually need to. Sollux could probably hack one of the kids' computers, to gain access to their Sburb viewport - although if he did, he wouldn't need a camera to snoop on their messages.

Is there a paranoia Aspect? I think I've finally found my calling.

anonymous asked: heya! ive just finished re-reading your ENtIRE liveblog and i to send asks about some stuff but i waited to finish so im sendind everything at once! (im gonna send stuff in a bunch of small asks so cat can stop just one instead of the whole thing in case of accidental spoilers) (aslo hi cat!) (also its ninnoy, havent sent an ask in a while but i changed my pfp to something slightly more spoilery so im in anon now) [...] the jade pen pal thing, do you have any new theories on who it could be?

None! I'm sure that it's someone derived from Grandpa Harley, but everything else is a mystery.

I have no particular theories about who he is, how he knows Jade, where he got his hands on so many endgame weapons, or why he's got such an antiquated accent if he's watching movies from the 80s. I assume time travel is involved, but that doesn't really narrow anything down in a comic like this. He (she? they?) is a complete enigma, and I'll just have to wait to learn more.

ALsO WHEREs YOUR sONAs? we havent seen them in so long im afraid sahlle might have actueally died of meteor strike (joking of course) also have you realized that "sally" and "cat" are both one letter of from a valid kid name? you could lend her one of your "L"s

I've actually been workshopping some Quest stuff for Sahlee this week! I suppose I'd need to figure out her Title first, though, and for that, I'd need to get a more solid idea of her personality, and how her experiences on Alternia have shaped her.

in one of your last posts you seemed to imply that the multiverse exists inside the timeline, but ive always read it as the opposite, the timeline inside the universe that would explain why the trolls can pick any time from the humans universe to talk to them but cant have private conversations with their own futute/past selves, its not an inherent part of trollian, they are just outside the human timeline (the memos are still trollian being time fucky) dont know if that makes any difference but its a thought also i realize the tag may be unecessary due to my quirk, but its too late to stop now

(NOTE: quirk omitted for readability, but the substitutions are [t -> 7, s -> 2] - sort of a variant of Sollux's quirk. I actually don't think we've seen any quirks which add a 7, so the voice here is distinct from any trolls we've seen so far. I like it!)

Originally, my assumption was that each timeline contained a duplicate of the entire multiverse. Doomed timelines don't seem to let you communicate with other universes/dimensions, though, so they don't need to contain other sectors of reality. I'm currently of the opinion that doomed timelines only contain an instance of the dimension they were doomed in. The only timeline which contains the entire multiverse is the Alpha.

This mechanic keeps doomed timelines simple, but in-universe, I don't know why it exists. Much like the Alpha itself, it's a mystery I can only speculate about.

has the shipping chart been updated since the last time we saw it? also you (at some point) said that equius<>feferi was a controversial ship so i had to go back to check the notes and i was the only person i found talkig about it so i guess im the whole controversy? if thats the case i would like to thank you for recognizing me as the equius<>feferi number 1 hater (all jokes of course)

I got a few skeptical asks about Equius<>Feferi, but you're the only one who discussed it on the post itself. I guess by some measures, you are the most dedicated hater, because your hate was posted publicly! 🤣

I could make one or two changes, but I don't want to post a new chart until the kids meet the trolls in person, hopefully at the end of the Act!

The Scratch, naturally - but I'm also looking forward to seeing exactly how WV was Exiled. He's currently on Skaia, and Jack has lost interest in him, so who's actually sending him through the portal?

Tavros is barely a presence on the Land he's ostensibly the hero of, and all of his actions are being dictated by a third party who can physically control his body. This third party does not acknowledge or respect Tavros's own desires, effectively forcing him to play the game in a way that she personally approves of.

She claims it will make him stronger.

@bladekindeyewear submitted: That was a long, thorough, and fantastic response! It's fascinating seeing your opinion on these things-- and I'm glad to see that considering the questions we've given you seems to have made you more paranoid. But I'm just not entirely sure you're paranoid ENOUGH. Not yet. Much like how you just found that "BREEZE" quote in your Breath research, back at around the time you've now reached in the comic, we had dozens of theory-miners combing back through everything that had been said and shown in Homestuck, over and over again, searching for anything we might have missed that might have been of some importance. [...] So, uh….. how do I put this… Would you prefer to strictly handle that sort of thing all by yourself, as you've said? Which I'd agree is still the best way that you should keep to, for the most part? Or would you mind if I gave you just a CRUMB of an example, only one? A tiny bit of text that we in the theory community only found at about the time you've reached in the comic, even though it was more than a thousand pages earlier?

Shit, this is such a dilemma. I'm honestly really torn.

See, I'd probably find old fandom theories absolutely fascinating to analyze. I'd love to know how closely my ideas align with those of the early Homestuck fandom, and whether I'm saying anything really out-of-pocket. My analysis of Sollux's ~ATH script was apparently an original theory, and it's honestly one my proudest moments.

But that's also sort of the problem, isn't it? If I dive too deeply into other people's fan theories, they'll start to affect my own - and if I'm introduced to a really compelling fan theory, it could end up replacing any homegrown theories that I could have developed in lieu of it. If someone had send me a well-reasoned ~ATH theory before I did my own analysis, I'd probably have been less motivated to make the analysis in the first place. After all, many of my questions would already have been answered by a clever theory I just read.

People are free to send me their own off-the-cuff opinions on what's happening in the comic, or their own takes on any meta I write. I get a lot of asks like that, and they're some of my favorites. There are also asks which spoil a little too much, but I'm still interested in their takes, so Cat's saving them for later. We don't really delete asks - we just delay the ones that aren't necessarily appropriate for a blind liveblog.

Obviously there's a fine line here, and whether a given ask is a theory or just an opinion is a little subjective - but in my opinion, the influence that asks and submissions have had on my analysis has been relatively minor. I don't think many of my theories have been spawned from an ask, or killed by one.

This is a little different, though, because it's part of a theory that was crowdsourced over several years. It doesn't sound like something that could be inferred by an individual, so I'm not sure if it's something an individual liveblogger should necessarily know about? If I start crowdsourcing my analysis, my theories will be less Wertsearch and more fandom consensus, and I don't think I'd enjoy that as much.

I really want to know, but I think I'll enjoy the liveblog more if I don't. When I finish the comic, I'll gleefully analyze any fan theory that anyone sends me - but for now, I'll just have to wonder, and come up with theories of my own!

Yeah, we've really been getting into it with Vriska lately. I've enjoyed trying to explain and predict her actions, and I'm glad people don't think I'm going overboard when trying to analyze her.

When a character does something interesting, I don't like to move on until I have a theory about why they did it. Sure, it may be refuted later, but it needs to be something that's consistent with what I currently know about their personality.

Vriska takes a particularly long time to puzzle out in this way. Her motivations are derived from a complex web (lol) of factors, including Scratch, Spidermom, her rivalry with Terezi, her horrendous relationship with Tavros, classism, teenage hormones, quadrant politics, highblood society and the Alternian culture of violence. They all inform her decisions, and any combination of them could have been the catalyst for the latest Vriska Incident.

I want characters to make sense to me, and Vriska is written to deliberately challenge my attempt to achieve this. Her meta is fun to write, so I'm glad it's also fun to read!

[thenightling]

Christmas Ghost stories

I posted about this before but I'll post about it again. The song "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" has a line "There'll be scary ghost stories" and a lot of people assume it's talking about Charles' Dickens much beloved classic, "A Christmas Carol." Well, yes, and no. A Christmas Carol is probably the most famous Christmas ghost story but it is, by far, not the only one. In the Victorian era (and earlier) ghost stories were a very popular holiday tradition in the UK and US. In fact A Christmas Carol was not Charles Dickens only or even first Christmas story. He wrote several. You can find them compiled in the book "Charles Dickens Christmas Ghost stories." Some of these titles include The Goblins who Stole a Sexton (which is an early proto-type version of A Christmas Carol where some goblins kidnap a mean grave digger and show him the error of his ways). There's also the spooky story of The Signal Man. Here are some well-known old (and some recent) Christmas Ghost stories. Krampus (folklore and movie about the demon captured by Saint Nicolas, who gets loose once a year to punish wicked children). There are at least fourteen Krampus movies and he has appeared in animation and comic books. According to legend Krampus is the son of Hela (Goddess of the dead) and grandson of Loki (God of Mischief). Befana The Christmas Witch (Italian folklore, actually equatable to Santa). She was a friend of the three Wise Men and now distributes gifts to good children on Epiphany and leaves coal for naughty children. She fills stockings with candy and toys too. She's not wicked at all. She's kind and Santa-like. Yule Cat (Folklore). According to legend you are supposed to get new clothes for Christmas. And if you don't get (and wear) any new clothes, the Yule cat (which is a giant cat) will eat you. Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol The Goblins who stole a Sexton by Charles Dickens The Raven (poem) by Edgar Allan Poe. Very atmospheric and gothic but really about grief. It's set in December. Hell House by Richard Matheson (Movie version is called Legend of Hell House). This haunted house story is set at Christmas time. Gremlins (Steven Spielberg movie) Edward Scissorhands (set at Christmas and is a fable about the source of Christmas snow.) Nightmare before Christmas (Poem / children's book and stop motion movie). This is technically both Christmas and Halloween. Over the Garden Wall (TV mini-series). All the visuals in this gorgeous mini-series are based on vintage Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas New England postcards. Silent Night Deadly night (Horror movie) Christmas Slay Sleepy Hollow (1999 movie) - Originally released in November, despite the Halloween aesthetic the movie actually ends on New Years Day. Ghostbusters 2 - The movie starts the day after Boxing Day and ends on New Years Day. Rise of the Guardians - Though technically set at Easter, the movie features Santa Claus and Jack Frost (The personification of childhood fun) turns out to be the ghost of a boy who drowned while saving his sister. Dear Dracula - The children's book is about a child who sends Dracula a letter instead of Santa. The animated movie version is more Halloween-centric. Dracula (2006 BBC version) released on Christmas. Santa vs. Dracula (comic booe of Water (Movie) released in December. Nosferatu (2024 version of the movie) will be released Christmas Day.

Hogfather (Disworld book and TV mini-series) where Death has to take over for The Hogfather one year (Disworld version of Santa).

 Mari Lwyd - South Wales Christmas tradition. A dead horse (actually people in a costume of a skeletal horse) shows up at your door and starts to rhyme at you, you rhyme back. And this back and forth goes on for a bit. If you run out of rhymes you have to let the ghost-horse in and eat your snacks and booze. There are many more but this was just a sample of the spooky fun of the Yule season.

[toomanyplotbunnies-sendhelp]

Hello and welcome to (the true) Day 14 of "Let's Explore My Plot Bunnies"

Today, my brain decided to be very... resourceful, for the lack of a less polite word, and remake the Cat!Shen Jiu fic from *checks notes* Day 4. Only now, instead of Shen Jiu being the one transformed into a cat, it's Liu Qingge.

The current title for this is "Paw Prints in Your Heart," and I do intend to make it a LiuJiu fic.

The premise is quite simple:

Liu Qingge was injured in his latest mission. He falls unconscious at the base of Cang Qiong Mountain, and, unbeknownst to him, his body turns into that of a cat. Shen Qingqiu is the one that finds the injured tuxedo cat and takes him (he did check; it is a boy) back to Qing Jing Peak for treatment.

When Liu Qingge wakes up, not only does he find himself to be a cat, but also he finds himself in the care of the (surprisingly gentle) person he hates, Shen Qingqiu.

Now, imagine: Cat!Liu Qingge has to stay around the Qing Jing Peak because his paw has a bad injury and ends up being in the same room as Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan have their (admitedly one-sided) argument of the day. And after Yue Qingyuan leaves, Shen Qingqiu, feeling the anger rising, decides to vent to the only creature here that will listen to him and not interrupt - cat!Liu Qingge. So, Shen Qingqiu speaks (read: vents) about his past, about Yue Qingyuan, about all the other Peak Lords, about everything that he can really vent about.

Needless to say, Liu Qingge has a ton of things to think about now with all these revelations.

Then there is the monthly Peak Lord Meeting... at which Liu Qingge is missing. Most of the other Peak Lords don't really find a problem with this as it is well known that Liu Qingge loves to hunt monsters so "he is most likely doing just that" is what they argue. Shen Qingqiu, on the other hand, finds it weird since, as much as that brute annoys him, Liu Qingge doesn't miss the Peak Lords Meeting without announcing beforehand.

And so, Shen Qingqiu starts a one man (and one cat) search party for that idiot brutish shidi of his. Their first destination? The Red Warm Pavillion. If there is anyone who knows where esteemed cultivators can be found based on rumors, it is the Madame of the Pavillion - who is also the most trustworthy source of information Shen Qingqiu can find.

Some details to note:

I feel OG!Shen Qingqiu would prefer cats to dogs, mostly because as an orphan on the streets dogs would fight with you for food (looks at Wei Wuxian), while cats - especially in cold/rainy days - would snuggle with you. Not because they like you, but because they like the body heat you can provide for them.

Cat!Liu Qingge definitely gives Shen Qingqiu a lot of snuggles after he vents to him. Both as an apology and as comfort.

Shen Qingqiu tried to talk with the other Peak Lords about how strange it is for Liu Qingge - of all people - to dissappear without a trace or a letter. The other Peak Lords, unfortunately, ignored him. This is why he takes it in his own hands to find Liu Qingge.

Liu Qingge feels a lot of guilt after he learns more about Shen Qingqiu and about the reasons behind most of his actions. He vows to treat him better once he is back to his human self.

This could either take place before Luo Binghe is on Qing Jing Peak or after - like the first 2 weeks after he was admitted. Either way, the kiddo is chugging vinegar - first because his Shizun likes the cat better than him; second, because by the time Luo Binghe arrives at the sect, Shen Qingqiu has a boyfriend.

So what do you think? Good? Bad? Brain has been on crack for far too long? Let me know!

Honestly, this idea just came to me today - probably 2 hours before I post this, actually. The better way to explain the plot would be "Shen Qingqiu vents to his newly acquired cat about his entire life, without knowing that said cat is actually his shidi, Liu Qingge, whom he doesn't like". There is something special about the whole "venting to an animal that is actually a human cursed/transformed into an animal" trope I see in fics. It's soo damn cute and agsty at the same time. I love it so much.

But enough rambling from me. I hope you have a great day/night and that you take care of yourselves!

See you tomorrow,

-TooManyPlotBunnies-Send Help

[lulu2992]

My beaded creations

And now, the rest of my collection.

Part 2: Alphabet beads

A simple “The Legend of Zelda” bracelet on the left, and on the right, a design inspired by the Sages’ Medallions from Ocarina of Time, but in French: Lumière (Light), Ombre (Shadow), Esprit (Spirit), Eau (Water), Feu (Fire), and Forêt (Forest). Fire is dark pink instead of red but it works.

A very long necklace (can also be worn as a very thick bracelet) made of all the Zelda games’ titles. Each section is independent so more can be easily added when new games are released. Also, if it breaks, I don’t have to remake the whole thing...

Bracelets and rings for a few fictional characters:

Bracelets: Midona (Midna’s French name, from Twilight Princess) — Ghirahim (Skyward Sword) — Babydoll (Sucker Punch) — Vaas Montenegro (Far Cry 3) — Lakshmana Min (Far Cry 4).

Rings: Babydoll — Ghirahim — Vaas.

A few quotes from Sucker Punch:

You see, your fight for survival starts right now. You don’t want to be judged? You won’t be. You don’t think you’re strong enough? You are. You’re afraid, don’t be. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight. (Vera Gorski)

You are safe, it’s all safe. — Now relax, and just let go. (Vera Gorski)

Let the pain go. — Let the hurt go. — Let the guilt go. (Vera Gorski)

Everyone has an angel. (Sweet Pea) — Defend yourself. (The Wiseman)

Bracelets inspired by Far Cry 3:

Vaas’ famous quote: The world is on a diagonal. — I am the balancing point.

Left: Quote from Citra: Rage against the darkness.

Right: Please define “insanity”.

Quote from one of the trailers, “The Savages: Vaas & Buck”: We’re not the savages. — We are the shepherds. (Buck Hughes)

Two quotes (in French) from two songs in Beauty and the Beast I think are cool:

Left: In the French version of “Beauty and the Beast”, “Histoire Éternelle” (it means “Eternal Story”), Madame Samovar (Mrs. Potts) sings C’est vrai, c’est étrange/De voir comme on change/Sans même y penser (“It’s true, it is strange to see how we change without even thinking about it”). The original English lyrics are Bittersweet and strange/Finding you can change/Learning you were wrong. I think about this quote (the French one) often…

Right: In “Belle”, the villagers sing La tête ailleurs et ce petit air audacieux/D'un chat sauvage sous une ombrelle (“In her own head and with this little daring look of a wild cat under an umbrella”) to describe Belle, and I love this description. In English, it was simply Look, there she goes, that girl is strange, no question/Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?

Two other French quotes, this time from video games:

Left: In The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, when Gaepora sees Fi (Fay in French), he quotes a few ancient words: Le guide de l'enfant, hors de l'épée s'élance. Juvéniles sont ses traits, mais grande est sa sapience (“The child’s guide, out of the sword leaps. Juveniles are her features, but great is her sapience”). I really like that we had rhyming alexandrines in French. The English localization said, “The youth will be guided by one born of the blade--one who is also youthful in likeness yet wise with knowledge immeasurable.”

Right: Quote from Child of Light. When he appears and notices Aurora crying, Igniculus says: Quelqu’un pourrait-il m’expliquer/Comment, sans pluie, l’eau peut tomber ? The original English line (Will someone please explain/How water falls with no rain?) means the same thing, but I just liked how it sounded in French. Also, to be honest, the alphabet beads I bought are for French people and we barely use the letter W, so I didn’t have enough W beads :’)

More video game quotes, this time in English. One is from BioShock 2 and the other is from Far Cry 5:

Left: Evil is just a word; under the skin, it’s simple pain. (Eleanor Lamb)

Right: Cherish this feeling. Let it carry you. (John Seed)

Three more English quotes I like:

Left: The Alice In Wonderland quote that appears at the beginning of Far Cry 3: In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

Center: Quote from the FFVII Remake announcement trailer (E3 2015): The reunion at hand may bring joy; it may bring fear. But let us embrace whatever it brings, for they are coming back.

Right: Lyrics from the song “A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes” from Cinderella: No matter how your heart is grieving/If you keep on believing/The dream that you wish will come true.

Finally, here are two quotes from Lady Gaga songs:

Left: Don’t be a drag, just be a queen/Don’t be a drag, just be a queen/Don’t be a drag, just be a queen (“Born This Way” - Born This Way)

Right: It’s not a statement as much as just a move of passion (“Aura” - ARTPOP)

Thank you for looking at my beads :)

[ohplagg]

I Love Yoo Timeline Part 1/4

The Evidence Part 1

This is part 1 of 4 of my I Love Yoo Timeline as of Episode 241.

Part 1 and 2 consists of laying out all the detailed evidence with descriptions, screenshots and episode number.

Part 3 consists of explaining the evidence, connecting the dates and some math because the I Love Yoo universe (or as I like to call it, Yooniverse) uses letters instead of numbers to represent official years.

Part 4 is the I Love Yoo Timeline.

----

Seeing Nessa alive in Kousuke's flashback of his highschool graduation day made me question everything I though I knew about the timeline so I have read, reread, and re-reread this webtoon; I've researched old reddit and tumblr posts, Quimchee's old Curious Cat answers, the wiki, and so much more.

(Just in case someone is worried, all information presented is free and publicly available. I was told that in Quimchee's patreon I could possibly find more exact information but I decided against looking there since I wouldn't be able to share my findings outside of patreon and my goal is for everyone who is a fan of I Love Yoo to be able to see this mega post.)

Because of the huge ammount of information I've decided to split my original post in 4 different parts so it's easier for everyone (including myself) to come back and find the information without having to endlessly scroll.

I encourage you all to go read/reread I Love Yoo with the new information you learn with this timeline in mind because oohhh boy does the story hit different. (Also take that opportunity to like all the episodes to support Quimchee!)

----

Turns out there's a lot of information in a 7+ year old, 240+ episode long webtoon; who would have though? Not me!

Anyways, there's so much information scattered all over the place and everything is so connected to everything that it was hard to organize it.

The evidence and information is in ' Whatever Order I Remembered It' order , but even so I tried my best to keep it organized by categories.

----

Episode 222 News articles

Here we got a lot of information in the presentation of news articles. So I'll keep this information as it's own category.

Let's read them up close.

Let's start with "Randulph Hannesson appointed as temporary Chairman of Hirahara Corp"

In it, it states how in March 27, 20WZ Rand gets appointed as temporary Chairman of the Board. At the same time, according to the public, he is "seeing" (dating?) Yui. Before becoming temporary Chairman of the Board (which we know he became permanent) he was CFO of Hirahara Corp. And before that he "founded a successful finance firm, Hannsesson Finance, which Hirahara Corp. has since acquired."

Now let's focus on the newspaper that's right under. In it, it talks about how an ilegal immigrant woman was found dead (assumed to be suicide) and her son is no where to be found. All arrows point to this woman being Nessa, Nol's mom.

It doesn't have a title but it does have a date. Newspapers normally publish these type of news the following morning from which the news happened meaning that Nessa died December 21st, 20XP

No wonder Nol hates his birthday week.

On the US Asia Daily Herald newspaper, "Chairman of Investment Giant Hirahara Corp to Step Down." When Rand was still CFO he was one of the witnesses that helped Young-Chul Kim be held accountable for all the SA he did. So that's where Nol got his sense of respecting and standing up for women. And that this happend in Octobre 31st, 20WY

Not really adding information to the timeline but just in case someone doesn't know, Yu-Jing has the police department interview transcripts for Nessa's death investigation

Lastly we have "Prestigious Prep School Closes SA Investiagtion With No Charges Filed" where it states that on March 20XW the 16-month long investigation of 50 years of SA with over 100 cases was basically dismissed.

Right before Nol was sent to the mental facility

Episode 150

Episode 150 starts with a flashback right after the brother incident where Nol is getting locked up in the mental facility ambulance. (This is confirmed in episode 210 because the dialogue matches up with the one in Kousuke's flashback)

And right after the flashback we get this news article that Yu-Jing has. "Troubled Child, Aftermath of the Hirahara Extra Marrital Affair."

So now we know that the brother incident that got Nol into the mental facility happened 1 year after the supposed marriage reconciliation between Yui and Rand.

Episode 210

We see a glimpse of the immediate aftermath of the incident.

It happened at night while raining.

Kousuke doesn't know what happened.

Yui's hand is bruised.

Nol is taken directly to the "Hirahara Mental Health Institute"

I'm very proud of my following discovery

The trees have no leaves.

Why is leafless trees so important and why am I so proud of my finding? Because trees lose their leaves during the Fall and by Winter they are completely leafless. This whole scene has all trees leafless meaning that it's winter. But hold on, it can't be winter winter because it's raining and not snowing. Bingo. It's early winter. And winter starts December 21st.

Episode 239

The pain I felt reading this after I figured out when in the timeline this happens.. my heart hurts.

This is the brother incident (at least the start of it).

Nol had no prior connection/relationship to the Hirahara's before this (he used the address on the letter's Rand send his mother to find them)

Nol went to Kousuke's house because he needs help, because he has no where else to go because his mother is gone.

If you're having a hard time keeping up, all this basically means the night Nessa died Nol went to look for Rand and his other family for help which is also the same night the brother incident happened which got Nol locked up in the Mental Facility which is why in both news articles Nol's whereabouts are unknown, because he was immediately taken away. (and all of this happened on his birthday :D).

After Nol got out of the mental facility

Episode 99

Nol presents himself using the name Yeong-gi.

Dieter and Nol met on the summer right before their first year of highschool.

Dieter met Nol before Soushi did.

At this moment in time it's been 5 years since Nol last saw his mom.

Episode 157

Nol was trying to befriend Soushi at the same time Kousuke was still in college.

Episode 155

Nol got out of the Mental Facility "roughly 6 years ago"

Nol spent "almost 2 years" inside the mental facility.

Kousuke mentions that the Yeong-gi name was something he started using after he came out of the Mental facility.

Episode 205

A while after Nol got out of the mental facility, Nana arrived.

"Until recently, I've been by myself."

Episode 129

Nana and Yui met for the first time after 5 years

-------------

This is just part 1 of 4. Go keep reading:

Part 2: The Evidence Part 2

Part 3: Math and connecting the dots

Part 4: The Timeline

[minervakarsh]

Silly Game Time: Have you ever seen or heard a ghost (or what some might've considered to be a ghost)? If so, when and where?

[stretches hands]

Let me tell you the story of the WBM.

WBM, of course, stands for Wet Bandit Meower. The name might sound nonsensical, but there’s an explanation.

Location: my dad’s house. Date: summer 2020.

Dad and his then girlfriend weren’t home, so in the whole house there were exactly three living things: me, my now stepsister (I will refer to her as Cherry) and our cat. At the time, we were on the first floor, watching youtube and having a good time. The cat was laying in our lap, purring contentedly.

Then, we heard a meow.

From the third floor.

We looked at the cat. She was still purring. We had no other cats.

The meow repeated. It wasn’t a cat’s meow. It sounded like a human literally saying the word “meow” out loud.

Naturally, we freaked out. It should be noted that I was twelve and Cherry was eight. However, feeling the need to prove ourselves to each other, we decided to investigate.

There was, of course, no one on the third floor.

We exchanged glances, and Cherry suggested inventing a name for the entity. The day before I was watching a cat video, titled “Cool Funny Cat Videos. Wet Bandit Meower”. I recalled it, said it out loud, we loved how stupid it sounded, and (to spite the entity by laughing at it instead of being afraid) we named it thusly.

To relax a bit, we went outside. We played there for a while, then, when we passed under the windows of Cherry’s bedroom, she suddenly gasped in horror and pointed at said windows.

There was a hand.

A black hand in the window, complete with an arm. It lingered for a second, then disappeared.

I asked Cherry what did she see, and she said “a black arm, right in my window!” It definitely wasn’t a hallucination, unless we somehow shared one.

We turned towards each other and said “WBM!” in unison.

And so began the saga. From that moment on, every inexplicable thing that happened around us we blamed on WBM.

And there was a LOT - from mere sounds in the night to finding a note under the fence, on which in red marker was written “I AM 666”. We kept the note (though somehow we managed to lose it since) and only laughed at how WBM couldn’t afford writing in real blood instead of cheap red marker.

Once we found perfume thrown out from the adults’ room, perfume which we never touched but were still blamed for throwing it out a window. We were finding notes, bottles, old letters we never saw before - and we meticulously put all these weird things into a special folder.

We have long lost the folder as of now. Otherwise I’d have loved to show it to you.

Even outside of the house, we experienced strange things. Once, when I was a guest at my aunt’s place in another city, I woke up to see bloody footprints on the bathroom floor. They were human. Neither me nor my aunt nor grandpa had wounded feet. Everyone got scared, including me, but I blamed it on WBM and instantly calmed down: even if it was a supernatural entity, it was OUR supernatural entity.

Nowadays I see almost no activity from WBM. Maybe he (for some reason he was always a he for us) just grew tired of us, especially since we barely see each other anymore, or maybe I’m way too sceptic now…

But I love the fact that for some time (about a year and a half) Cherry and I had our own pet Boogeyman.

Does that qualify as a ghost?)

[strange-anni]

So let's talk about Nancys room shall we?

In this scene in S1E3 Eleven explores the Wheelers house and then walks into Nancys room. So let us look at some of the things we find there and draw some tentative conclusions.

The first thing we see is a poster with what appears to be a big animal printed on it on Nancys door. At first glance it is not entirely clear what it is exactly but looking closer it seems to be a cat. It's rather abstract though. Like it's a not fully formed cat. Just the image of it. Plus they seem to have three colors. Red, orange and white (and possibly black). This makes it likely that this is a female cat. Male calicos do exist but are extremely rare (1 in 3000).

Next we see a small pin board on Nancys desk with with what reads like “Nemo”? Can this be right? Surely it's “Memo” isn't it?

More cat symbolism here. There is porcelain figure of a kitten directly next to the bed.

Plus there are two pillows. A pink one and blue one with the latter being slightly more in the front. This can have several meanings. First it could represent heterosexuality or heteronormativity if we go with traditional gender color coding. A pink one and a blue one belong together in bed. As far as we can tell this seems to be true for Nancy as she seems to be straight. It could also represent her having s*x with Steve. It was the first time for her. I will come back to this later.

Even more kitten symbolism here. This time it's two kittens on the side a of a musical box.

The song that is played is called “Wiegenlied” (“Cradle song”) and is also known as “Guten Abend, gut' Nacht” (“Good evening, good night”) It's very popular song to be used in music boxes.

Listen to it here

Johannes Brahms wrote the composition in 1868 but it is based on a poem first published in 1808 which itself was based on an old german poem from the Middle Ages. Nowadays it is one of the if not the most well known lullabys in Germany. When Brahms wrote the song he dedicated it to his friend Bertha Faber to celebrate the birth of her second son.

However the poem the first verse is based on was originally not meant to be a children's lullaby although that is what it's now known for. It's a general love poem not specifically meant for children. (It only got that association with children songs because of it's title and because it was placed into a collection with other children songs in “Des Knaben Wunderhorn” (“The boy's magical horn”) in 1808)

A quote by Brahms himself supports this as he wrote in a letter to the Fabers.

“Mrs. Bertha will understand that I wrote the song only for her little one; however she will also agree with me that as she sings Hans to sleep, her husband will sing to her, mumbling a love song.”

The first verse reads as follows:

In this case the roses are meant to be a protective cover. The cloves (And I want you to know that the word “Näglein” although in this case meant as cloves also holds kind of a double meaning as Näglein is also a diminutive of the word “Nagel” which translates to “nail”) are meant to be second protective layer as their essential oils are supposed to keep vermin and germs away. The last two lines are also often misunderstood especially by children as they would think that it is god will alone whether they wake up the next morning or not. That's not what it means though as it's supposed to be a more broadly believe that the future is in gods hands.

Later on Brahms also wrote a composition for the second verse which was published in 1849 by Georg Scherer. I don't have much to say about this other than the fact that his verse gives the whole song a much more Christmassy feel to it. The lines are pretty self-explanatory

Sources: German and English Wiki pages

That is the whole pinboard above her desk and there is much to discover. First we get a confirmation that that the “Nemo” we saw in the beginning is indeed “Memo” instead although it still looks like Nemo due to the “e” covering part of the “M”.

Next the pin board is covered with lots of photos and other things but there are also white and pink ribbons. They are placed in such a manner that it almost looks like a grid or possibly bars? Like prison bars? I will also go a step further and assume that the white/pink color combination could represent femininity like I assume the two pillows on her bed could stand for masculinity and femininity (or a man and a woman). However in the way that these ribbons are placed (like bars) it almost makes it look like they are caging something inside. Something that's desperate to come out as I don't think it's a coincidence that the photos which catch your eye the most and which are placed above the white/pink ribbons are the ones in which Nancy's wearing blue. In one of them she even almost looks like a boy.

I also want to give some attention to the photo in to left corner. It's showing us young Barb dressed as a clown and young Nancy dressed like a bunny. There are many characters in the series associated with bunnies. Holly for example, little Janes room in Terrys house has lots of bunny imagery or later on Henry Creel. Jonathan too but for him this is a bad memory as he was forced to kill a rabbit by his father on his 10th birthday. Nancy in this case is not just associated with bunnies. She literally is one although that seems to be a thing from the past. In S4 when her mother shows her Mr. Rabbit one of her old plushies she decides against keeping it as he will be loved more in another home.

Oh and of cause, she does seem to think the blue and yellow should get together. I know what ya'll are thinking but I don't think this is about byler only. More likely is that it is meant in a broader manner such as both ends of the spectrum should come together.

I've already marked this in the picture above but I do find the saying interesting. From what we can see here it reads “You are part of the problem” but that's not what it says in it's entirety. It is really hard to see but I think in it's entirety it reads “If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem” That of cause raises the question, what solution for what problem exactly?

This one is eerie. As my screenshot is not the best please look at this post from bobokhan. What we see here is a cake which reads “Happy birthday Virgina We love you” at least as far as I can tell. This of cause is reminiscent of another person called Virgina who we've only seen much later in the fourth season. If and what these two have in common I do not know.

Tentative Conclusions

It is interesting to see that Nancy seems to surrounded by cat imagery. None of these seem to be a fully grown though, if you don't count the more abstract one which I won't since this is also in instance of a cat that is not a full image of one. What I think this means is that there is a potential there for Nancy to either become one or acquire some cat characteristics. This however has not yet come to pass (from a standpoint of season 1) although it may come to pass later. At this point in time she is a “Nemo” (Nobody.) A bit of a blank slate in this regard.

Furthermore there is the imagery of the blue and pink pillows on the bed as well as the white and pink ribbons on the pin board. I think these images refer mostly to sexuality and gender. Like the pink and white ribbons are reminiscent of (prison) bars trying to hold back a more masculine version or attitude behind them. Although this prison of femininity (white and pink) is not fully capable of holding it back. In regards to the pillows I still think it may depict Nancy being straight but as she is more associated with blue she is the one that blue pillow represents which in turn means she does have more dominant tendencies as the blue pillow is slightly in the front.

Last but not least there is the lullaby in the music box which in reference to Nancy alone does not make a whole lot of sense. This imagery does not reflect her at all. However it is still important as we see El listening to it for bit while seeming to get a bit distressed as if the song were about to trigger a memory but then doesn't. It's almost like it still means something to her which she is not comfortable with.

Interestingly enough at the end of season 4 we see El in the exact colors which are seemingly holding Nancy back here. El's wearing a white shirt with a pink border on the sleeves. Apparently these colors are not a prison to El. Instead she seems to embrace them.

[srkizer]

Megatron's Marching Song

Note: Parts marked with brackets [like this] serves as additional descriptions, instead of a part of lyrics.

(Megatron) Let's go! Line up! Louder! Yes! Heave-ho!

Ridding the nature from the planet, as if it mattered ever once everything becomes machines, (That'll do!) make rapid steps, without sleeping or taking a rest That'll make y'all more productive (Great!) With the joy of conforming to the standards No need for amino, but with pulse, future men will grow Working for the ideal society, let's'ragon Megatron

Once the machine body is yours, in all its glory (That'll do!) Personalities can go away; everyone is equal Sleeping or awake, y'all on wireless LAN School or exams can go away (Neat!) To build such future Lunches be skipped; make periodical Energon deposits (For the Space!) To animal lands, firmly saying no, Megatron

(Megatron) Hello, it's boku-chan[me]. It's been a while. I hate to tell you but I must; I can't make it there today. Eh? Uh, no, that's not it; I'm getting scolded right now. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that there's no way this time. No, really, I guarantee you that it's not happening. Even for Beast Wars standards, for this time once ever, I can't be making jokes around. Even for a Beast, when we're doing it, we really are doing it. It's not ha-has and ho-hos all the time; keep that in mind. Yes. Well, you know. It has been 8 whole years since whole Beast stuff happened. Oh, we did have so much fun as actors. They're saying that it's the world first "full CG robot battle animation series" in particular! It's even made in Canada! Yeah, Canada! The country from the song titled "Love Letter From [Canada]"! It's not a half-assed one. Returns[Beast Machines] though, it was pretty tough! Like, I was asked to change outfits. A bagworm outfit that is, with a enormous head, that kinda looked like a fly too. As if that wasn't enough, I even had to put Convoy costume on! Let me tell you, that costume was overused! Not only all that Convoy's sweat were infused into it, but also consider that his hairs were so thick! Every time I had to put it on, his hairs were all over me! That's why I hate organic creatures. What? "When are you coming next time", you say? No, to put it in other way, there is no "next time"! I'm dying! So I've thought to tell you my final words. I love you… What the heck? How dare they hang up on me!? Finally they get to know that I won't make it there ever again, and this is how they treat me? What a pity; they must have forgotten how many times I've been on! (Megatron huffing) Well, I did get toys, and movies[Japanese Beast Wars movie releases] for sure. I think I did make it up to the expectations. If I have some regrets, it's not having had enough number of subordinates. The one to remain to the last was "Bzzzzz, ah, I'm going down-"; how sad! At least, unlike some other gorilla's, mine are wiped clean. Just you wait, Scorpos[Scorponok], Terrorsaur, Inferno, Quickstrike, Rampage, Rampa- ah, well, hm, wotsit, one more; who was it? Think; it's that guy. Him! The one that went around saying pararirapararira[obnoxious motorbike sounds]; I can't remember who that was. Well that's annoying. Hm… Hey, pause the death sequence! Stop! I said stop! Can't you hear!? I got to think fast. No more time I got. Uh, Let's see, a-ka-sa-ta-na-ha-ma-ya-ra-[a-b-c-d-e-f-g-h-i-] sa-ta-na, sa-ta-na-, ta, ta… it was ta, I'm sure of it. ta… Oh, yeah, that's it, it's ta. Uh… Takashi Machine? No… Lesee, Tanokki[raccoon spelt wrong or smth], no, Tara-chan… hm? That's it! Tarans[Tarantulas]! It was Tarans! Finally! It's cool now!

Gorillas, rats, cats, poisonous spiders, (Hey!) falcons, bats, even the monster kid (Ho!) Recycle them, all at once! No transforms for them! (Altogether!) Running away on the stolen ship The planet reached at last only with a head is Seibertron[Cybertron] Even without a single being over there (Today too!) Electric boogaloo (One more time!) Dreaming the future full of machines, Megatron

[breitweisergallery]

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by the ever lovely @killerandhealerqueen

obsessively, incessantly, to a point of suffocation

“Essek, you must be careful. You are the hope of Vorastal, you must be the shining light. You and Verin both. You cannot be caught doing as you are.”

2. sleeping snakes

The first sign anything was wrong was how long it took her to wake up. Astrid had always been the sort to wake with the first sign of light and to stay up until sleep finally pulled her to darkness late at night.

3. until it doesn't hurt

Essek had been declared dead three days when the grief finally became a wave she could not surpass. The letter sat, threatening, on the ornate desk in her study, the words read again and again, as though they would say something different the next time her eyes fell on it.

4. to regret is to be

Perhaps it was complacency that had led to this situation, circled by men attempting to rob them. Perhaps it was that neither Essek nor Verin wore the uniforms of their respective stations on this particular afternoon. Essek wore, instead, a disguise to allow him to walk the streets unencumbered by expectation; Verin wore no disguise at all, relying instead on the invisibility of the title of second son.

5. the patron saints of your voice sing hymns that remind me of you; still i sit alone waiting for you to return

“Gaon-ah, put it down.” Yohan’s voice fades in before anything else does; the world is like static around him, blurry colors and unrecognizable faces. Hands touch his, calloused fingers that gently pry his fingers from the white-knuckle grasp he has on the knife.

6. Asteroids The bass thrummed in a way that made it difficult to breathe. Not for the first time, Gorgug shifted in his seat and adjusted the harness tight against his chest. It was positioned in a way that it didn’t quite rub against him as he moved, but it was too tight to really be comfortable to be sitting in for an extended period of time.

7. our names in the sky

Cat operates on a three-strike system before she tries to get out of any particular situation she might be stuck in. And this situation is pushing her limits. Strike one: it’s only 7 in the morning, which is far too early to be awake, especially in July. The energy drink in her hand is doing little to keep her from yawning every couple of minutes.

8. dreaming of flying

Karna likes the quiet of the night in the Meat Lands. It’s not quiet like the cities she’s used to — there’s no time when most fall asleep only to rise early again with the Bulb in the sky.

9. puppetry

He sees him out of the corner of his eye. Nothing more than a glimpse, and Yohan pivots on his heel, slipping his phone out of his pocket and murmuring, “Yes?” as cover. Not that he notices.

10. don't let me know

It had been a long time since they had been okay. Even sleeping in the same bed as they did, there was no part of them that could pretend like the cracks that had always existed weren’t chasms between them.

Tagging @clawbehavior @highflyerwings @technitango @godotismissingx and @mangacat201, as well as anyone else who wants to

[2d-dreams]

Hi, and happy STS! (As usual, I am @writeblr-of-my-own, this is my main and apparently I can't switch them).

Everyone of us has recieved the influence of someone or something when we first started writing. That is either because we like someone's techniques and we imitate them to better our own, or we were unintentionally influenced by a piece of media or literature we consumed, even as kids. So, for today's question let's talk inspiration!

What is a piece of media or literature, an author, a concept that inspired you? Do you have a role model that you try to imitate a bit in your works? For example in the way they do descriptions, or in how they create settings!

FORGOT TO ANSWR IM SO SORRY

Well, when it comes to my Flatland writing, obviously I'm inspired by Flatland, but just in terms of idea.

My writing of flatfiction is inspired by Flat Dreams but not in a very orthodox way. Flat Dreams is good, yes. But not as a flatland fanfic. I very dislike seeing Flatland fanfics of the style of just shapes with limbs. Well, not dislike. They are wonderfuly written, but they aren't Flatland to me at all and I cannot experience them properly.

A Flatfic loses its essence of Flatland there. When an apostle is brought to 3d they recognize a 3d house as a 2d house. They have 3dimensionality and so the flatland is lost. It no longer makes sense that bumping into someone is so dangerous, the foundation of flatland in expecting perfect angle regularity resides in the fact that in the 2d world, you cant waste your time checking each angle of the person [you cant see the entire shape immediately], so assuming configuration by one angle brings forth the hate towards irregulars, an attempt to justify it beyond just "not perfect". The flavor of the arts of Sight Recognition, Feeling and Hearing and how the lower classes are practically blind, is lost.

I audibly sighed when I realized Flat Dreams was of this style. I liked the fic, but if you imagine "human" instead of "triangle", it is the same.

Flat Dreams inspired me, by the immense disappointment, to write in 2d. I still am not perfect, but i try. Yes, such a fic may not be the most interesting, 2d life is boring, plain.. well, more like.. PLANE. [this is a pun] but it is 2d.

I am also greatly inspired by xenofiction authors! i liked The Wild Road [my name Cy is from the book] and Watership Down and have many more xenofiction books to read. I am purely a xenofic writer. I find comfort in the nonhuman. I cannot bring myself to relate to or care for human or humanoid characters, i dont know why. I love the strangest xenofiction, like The Bees book that i have yet to find to read. Hence why I write the strangest xenofiction too, that of bidimensional shapes [The Arts of Being], insects [Insecta series], plants [They Whisper at Dawn], even of human body cells [yep. A story called Autophagia] though most are currently unfinish. My love of xenofiction literature specifically might have started before warrior cats, when i read of a childrens book called Alphabet Soup, where characters were letters with personalities based on their letter.

Human-book related, i did enjoy some human books. Childrens books. Two which are mexican and to translate their titles is waste of time. These were The Little Prince, Mamá es Alérgica and Una Noche para Bruno. These were what i can only describe as mundane fiction within my mind. Una noche para Bruno specifically. I love the details of the third one on just life. A childs view of the world. Actually, just realized what these 3 books have in common.. the way a child sees the world. Have i not been brought to a place near adjacent to xenofiction again?