#let's pretend this past week didn't exist

[reidsmanuscript]

Seven Seconds

Summary: when Katie Jacob's gets abducted in a Mall, setting the clock for the BAU, who needs a legal favor, and it's been a year since the A.D.A. has know anything about Spencer Reid. Pairing: Spencer Reid x lawyer!reader Genre: pinning, SLOW BURN, maybe right moment?, angst bc i love angst wc: 4.6k! (i know so small comparing to part 1 bear with me) TW: cm canon typical violence, set in 05x3 "Seven seconds" (obviously lol), sexual violence, implied reader's dark past, glimpses of female rage. A/N: my idea for the serie is be taylor jenkins reid and have you question if lawyer reader exists or not (delusional bitch), english is not my first language and let's pretend it's proofread part I - part II - part III - part IV

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　

Spencer sat on the park bench reading a book while playing chess with Ethan, brilliant kid for his age and good opponent, not good enough tho because when he cheered “I see checkmate in 5, What do you see?” It took Spencer one glance to calculate all the movements necessary.

“I see it in 3” he answered looking at his book again, the kid turned around the board and moved the pieces

“We've missed you out here” he said, staring at the board amazed.

“Thanks. I, uh, I had to take a little break”

“How come?” His hands froze on the book for a second before closing it.

Spencer had been clean for over a year now, it was 14 months and 2 weeks ago that he had freaked out after noticing his stash of Dialud was gone along with his needle. Where could he find more? Who knew about his addiction? Where was his stash? Who the fuck is Dr. Fitzgerald? Did you report him?

His first instinct was confronting you, given that you were the only person who found out his drugs that he knew, the first days he was a complete paranoid, he jumped every time Hotch called his name, or that Gideon looked at him a little too long.

At the end of the week he was thinking where he could find more, and when that thought scared him, he called the number of the card you had left in the same pocket his drugs used to be.

“Hello this is Dr. Fitzgerald” said a calm voice, it was 10 p.m. so there was a higher chance of going to voicemail, but he got an answer and the tremor of his hands got a little worse. Was it the anxiety or the withdrawal?

“Umm hello.. this is.. Dr.. this is Spencer Reid and someon-""I've been waiting for your call Dr Reid” the other line interrupted, he froze for a second.

“I used to play with a co-worker friend of mine. He's probably the best mind I ever went up against. One day, he just decided that he didn't want to play anymore.”

Fast forward, she helped him get clean and stay clean after Gideon left, getting tested regularly, and gave him the contact of the help group of FBI addicts. He was better, he was alive.

“So you gave up, too?”

“Just the opposite. I attempted to play Through every permutation of moves on a chessboard.”

“That's an infinite number of games.”

“It's not infinite. It's just- it's exponentially large.”

“You couldn't have played through them all.”

“There's an average of 40 moves per chess game, And I'll tell you something– the more I played, The more I realized that every single match every single chess game, Is really just a simple variation on the exact same theme. You know? It's aggressive opening, Patient mid-game, inevitable checkmate, And I realized why my friend quit. He was tired of repeating the same patterns And expecting a different outcome.”

“That's because you haven't come up on Fridays or Mondays in a while” the way his eyebrows went up along his voice tone made him feel like he knew something that he didn't.

His eyebrows furrowed “What do you mean?”

“There's this great player who comes around those days, she even brings the best pastries, and her games is similar to yours, always two or three moves ahead, she always beats everyone here… i think her boyfriend called her Buzz or something like that, like the Toy Story character”

“Buzz?… i don't really remember anyone with that nickname”

“It’s probably not that one but you don't know her because she started coming like 8 months ago.. I'm sure you have a lifetime of chess strategy in your head that you're just sitting on, but when you meet her?” He made a dramatic pause “You'll have to play it.”

He glances at his watch to realize his 15 minute break is coming to an end. “I still use it. I just, uh... I apply it differently. I have to go. It's good seeing you.”

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　　　　

That evening, the BAU was called in for a local case—a little girl, Katie, had been kidnapped from a busy mall. A week earlier, another girl had been taken from the same location and found dead hours later. Now, they were all racing against the clock.

Katie’s parents were desperate. As any parents would be in this situation, right? But when Hotch asked the father if either of them was having an affair—a routine question in abductions—the man took offense. Deep offense. So much so that he refused to let the FBI search their house.

Now, what kind of parent refuses to help the police find their missing child?

In a small surveillance room, Morgan and Reid sat with Garcia, who was visibly frustrated by the mall’s ancient security system. They were surrounded by screens displaying grainy footage from different angles—well, almost every angle. They had a single glimpse of Katie in one video, and then, seven seconds later, she was gone.

JJ and Prentiss were with the mother, aunt, and uncle, trying to get a read on the family dynamic. Meanwhile, Morgan and Reid had conducted a cognitive interview with Katie’s cousin. It had led nowhere.

“The family has refused permission to search the house,” Hotch announced as he stepped into the room.

“What do you mean they denied?” Morgan’s frustration was evident. “Your only child goes missing, and you refuse to collaborate?”

No one disagreed. They were all thinking the same thing.

“The cousin didn’t say much,” Reid added. “He was too distracted in the game room to notice anything.”

Hotch exhaled sharply. “I’ll speak to the detectives, see if we can get a warrant.” His tone was firm, but they all knew time wasn’t on their side.

Garcia adjusted her glasses. “Sir, I mean this in the best way possible, but it’s almost 8 p.m. I don’t think-”

“I’ll handle it,” Morgan interrupted.

All Reid and Garcia turned to him with identical looks. What do you mean you will handle it?

Hotch’s eyebrows furrowed, but after a moment, he gave a small nod and walked away. Morgan was already pulling out his phone.

“I have a contact,” he explained, dialing.

He put the phone on speaker. It rang once. Twice. On the third ring, a voice answered—sharp, direct, and all business.

“A.D.A. Woodvale.”

Reid went rigid.

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　　　　

It was late in the office; most people had already gone home, including your assistant Molly. All but Austin, who was still there because he had a lead on one of your cases. You knew he was still hanging around because, over a year ago, when someone had snuck into your office to harm you, you’d become a little paranoid. You’d gotten better, but Austin insisted on keeping you company, especially since your car was in the mechanic’s.

You were reviewing a legal brief, pen in hand, skimming the margins to jot down notes when the desk phone rang. Without looking up, you hit the speaker button with the tip of the pen.

“A.D.A. Woodvale.”

There was a beat of silence before a familiar voice cut in—smooth, direct, urgent.

Morgan called your name “Hey. We need a warrant. Fast.” You blinked, setting the pen down.

Reid and Garcia exchanged glances as Morgan jumped in without hesitation.

“Katie Jacobs. Eight years old. Abducted from a mall earlier tonight,” Morgan started, all business. “Another girl was taken from the same place a week ago—she was found dead hours later. We’re working against the clock.”

You frowned, swirling the pen, going through the multiple scenarios. You had heard about last week’s case, and how slow the police had moved back then.

“We’ve got mall surveillance footage,” Morgan pressed. “At first, we thought she just vanished, but Garcia finally pulled something from one of the side corridors. Katie wasn’t taken by force—she was walking calmly with someone.”

Your fingers tightened slightly around her pen. “Someone she knows.”

“Exactly,” Morgan confirmed. “That narrows it down to family or close acquaintances.” They all shared a silent thought. Family.

We know they’re hiding something,” Morgan corrected. “We just don’t have the probable cause to kick the door down.”

Garcia watched as Morgan paced slightly, his tone firm but urgent.

“That’s thin, Morgan,” Your voice came through the speaker, steady and unyielding.

“We don’t have time for airtight,” Morgan countered.

Your jaw tightened. “You don’t have time for me to get laughed out of a judge’s office, either. Refusing a search isn’t a crime, and suspicion alone doesn’t cut it. I need more.” You understood where the suspicious came from, how are you supposed to help them if they had nothing?

There was a pause. A beat of silence. Then, another voice—one you hadn’t heard in over a year.

“99% of abducted children who are killed due within the first 24 hours” He cleared his throat, willing his voice to stay even. Spencer Reid. “75% within the first 3 hours, and what only law enforcement knows is Jessica Davis joined the 44% of children who are abducted and killed within the first hour. We’re already past the three-hour mark. If we don’t act now, statistically speaking—”

“The likelihood of recovery drops exponentially,” You sighed, already standing up, ignoring how his voice sounded. So different. So… clean.

Your gaze flicked to the clock. 8:06 p.m. Damn it.

You grabbed a blank warrant form from her drawer and reached for a pen. “Send me the address and everything else you have. Give me 20 minutes.”

Click. You didn’t have time for goodbyes.

Austin raised an eyebrow from his seat. “Guess you’re not going home anytime soon.”

You didn’t look up as you started writing. “I never was.”

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　

The courthouse was mostly deserted at this hour. The fluorescent lights hummed quietly, and the stillness of the evening was only interrupted by the sharp click of your heels on the polished floors followed by Austin’s boots toward the judge’s chambers.

“You sure you don’t want me to take this one? Sweet-talk her maybe?” he teased.

You shot him a look. “You think Judge Holloway is the type to be charmed? Plus, you’re a private investigator, not a lawyer.”  

“She’s not gonna like you showing up this late.”  

You didn’t miss a beat. “If she’s still up, she’ll make time for this.”  

Taking a steadying breath as you stopped in front of the door, you quickly ran through your notes, making sure you had every detail in order. Then, without hesitation, you pushed through the heavy wooden doors of Judge Evelyn Holloway’s chambers.  

Inside, the judge barely glanced up from her paperwork. “You have two minutes, Woodvale.”

Stepping forward, you set the warrant request on the desk. “Your Honor, I apologize for the late hour, but we have a child abduction case we’re working against the clock. A young girl, Katie Jacobs, was taken from a mall over three hours ago. We’ve obtained surveillance footage showing her walking with an individual—someone she likely knows. We believe the family is withholding information, and they’ve refused to allow us to search the residence.”

The judge narrowed his eyes, folding her hands on the desk. “And what do you propose I do about it? What evidence do you have to warrant a search?”

Alex kept her voice steady. “We have footage of the girl with someone who wasn’t a stranger, Your Honor. The parents are refusing cooperation, and the father was evasive when asked about possible affairs, which raises red flags about his involvement.”

Holloway sighed, leaning back in her chair. “That’s thin.” You were ready for that.

“I have the full footage from the mall security, including a timestamp showing the precise time the girl went missing. She is last seen walking calmly with someone she knows, most likely family.”

There was a brief pause, and for a second, you thought you were about to lose her. So you pulled Reid’s words from memory, adjusting them just enough to make them your own.

“Time is working against us. Statistics show that 99% of abducted children who are murdered lose their lives within the first 24 hours 75% within just the first three. And only law enforcement-”

She cut you off with a raised hand, signaling you to stop.

The judge exhaled through her nose, it was late and you were rambling about statistics and you knew she wanted you out as soon as possible when you started citing numbers. So pushing himself out of her chair with a slight groan. “Fine. Get me the paperwork. I’ll sign it—but you better have your ducks in a row.”

You nodded, her demeanor unflinching. “Thank you, Your Honor.”

As you turned to leave, you couldn’t help but feel the weight of the hours ahead of you. But you were used to this—fighting against the clock.

“Let’s move,” motioning to Austin. He gave you a small nod. “You got it.”

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.

Exactly 15 minutes after the call, 5 minutes earlier than promised, Morgan’s phone rang. He answered it without even looking. 

"You got your warrant. I'll meet you there," Alex’s voice came through, crisp and businesslike, just as expected.

Morgan exhaled, his relief barely hidden. "Thank you, Woody."

He paused for a moment before adding, "I owe you one," then hung up, turning to Reid.

“Tell Hotch we’re heading to the Jacobs’ house,” he instructed, already moving toward the door.

Spencer had been timing her. It wasn’t the first time he'd gotten caught up in the tense waiting game of law and order, but the pressure of it had a different weight today. The memory of your voice, clear and resolute, echoed in his mind, sharper than before.

For Reid, part of getting clean wasn't just the physical withdrawal—it was the emotional weight of confronting his mistakes. The memory of how he'd lashed out at you a year ago still haunted him. How could he have been so cruel? The hurt in your eyes, the way he dismissed you, the way it all spiraled… it wasn’t just the drugs that had made him say those things. And the fury he saw when you looked at him, Dialuid in hand, how you looked like a timing bomb when he was trying to see if he could talk to you, the tension in your shoulders, the lock in your jaw, the grip on the file. He’d been battling so much more since then, in his mind, you saved his life by doing what he couldn't do.

He’d rather die than relive that moment again, than say those things. And yet, here he was, standing in the middle of another chaotic case, still carrying that guilt with him. He stayed behind Morgan for just a beat before pushing down his feelings and moving quickly. 

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　　

The engine of Austin's bike rumbled to a stop as they pulled up in front of the house, where Morgan and Reid were standing in front of the black SUV. You slid off the back with practiced ease, taking off the helmet and letting your hair fall loose.

Austin followed your lead, taking his helmet off with a groan. “So, what exactly are we looking for?”

You shot him a quick, sidelong glance, handing him the helmet, keeping your expression flat knowing he’s about to be a drama queen. “You’re not coming inside. The warrant’s for FBI and police only. Not P.I.s included”

Austin paused, a mock pout crossing his face. “Excuse me? I just got you here, through all that traffic, risking myself to get a speeding ticket and now I don’t get to search? This is the second time in the night that you P.I. shaming me. Do you hate me?”

“If I hated you I wouldn’t have bailed your ass out of jail… twice” you remark the last part. He had a talent for sticking his foot where he shouldn’t be, maybe that’s what makes him good at his job.

“You act like you wouldn’t do it a third time” he was mocking, but he was right, something you would never admit to him. 

You start walking to the house “Mhm.” you hum rolling your eyes, heading towards where Morgan and Reid were. 

You didn't expect him to be there, or maybe you did, maybe you wanted to see him and know what had happened to him since the last time you saw him. They were looking at you, Morgan with a curious already-profiling-you stare, while Reid expression was more… cautious. He looked so different, his cheekbones were prominent in an attractive way and not sickly, he had put on some healthy weight and was not fidgety. You were not mad anymore, because of course at the moment the hurt had turned into rage like it always does for you, but it was more because of phantoms than anything else. 

“Got your golden ticket” you said, avoiding Reid’s gaze as you pulled the warrant from the inner pocket of your gray coat and swung it toward them.

Morgan nodded “You staying?” He gestured with his head to Austin who was leaving.

“I have to make sure you find something, otherwise the judge will have my head for this,” you said dryly, shrugging as though the threat didn’t bother you, but there was a flicker of seriousness behind your words. You were only talking to him, which felt rude because Reid’s stare was locked in your profile. 

Reid was thinking how pretty you looked, how the black vest suited you, and he couldn’t ignore the fact you had changed your brown bag to a black one that looked nothing like his. Your white shirt and gray coat gave you an older, wiser look, but as Reid analyzed your features, he realized he didn’t even know how old you were. You couldn’t be older than him. Serious, sharp, and young... How was it possible for someone that young to be the A.D.A.?

Reid’s mind couldn’t let go of the numbers. The average age of an Assistant District Attorney in the U.S. is 36. You couldn’t be older than 25, and yet you were already in that position.

You glanced at him for a moment before stepping inside the house, feeling the weight of his stare. The look made him snap out of his trance-like state, and of course, his eidetic memory hated him, because for that brief second, he remembered how you had looked at him a year ago.

Morgan nodded and thanked you again before he and Reid walked into the house. You left the warrant on the hall table with a deliberate touch, your fingers lingering for just a moment—as if to remind yourself that you weren’t entirely done with this.

“Somebody lit a fire last night,” you heard Reid say.

“Well, there are dirty dishes for three in the kitchen, so they eat together as a family.” Morgan’s voice carried from the other room as they moved through the house, taking in the details.

If Katie was in danger, the signs wouldn’t be in plain sight. You had to look where they hid—where children kept their secrets. Their bedrooms.

“Hey, my favorite movie from when I was a kid.” Reid held up a DVD, turning it in his hands before pulling it from the player just as you passed by him, tugging on latex gloves before heading upstairs, you did feel a little guilty for not even looking or talking to him, but it was something you did unconsciously. 

“So they watch movies together, too,” Morgan mused. They were starting to build a picture of the family’s dynamic.

“By a fireplace in a house that’s straight out of a catalog,” Reid added. “Norman Rockwell couldn’t have painted this any cozier.”

“That’s what worries me.” There was weight in Morgan’s voice. A tension that sat between them.

Upstairs, you searched through the rooms with careful precision.

When you first became a lawyer, you made a promise—never ignore a sign. Since then, you have gone further. You didn’t just refuse to ignore them; you searched for them. Hollow eyes. Unexplained bruises. Small bloodstains. You looked for them in teenagers, in young adults, in the elderly. But nothing—nothing—was more painful than a child who couldn’t speak up.

Because they were small. Because someone older, someone stronger, was hurting them. There's nothing more hurtful than not being able to speak out, to say something and stand up for yourself. Except when someone did—someone saw the bruises, the fear, the signs—and they looked away deliberately. Because a child’s pain was inconvenient. Because it came with a mountain of paperwork no one wanted to touch.

You had spent your whole life making sure you never looked away.

That’s why you were hunched over the small desk in Katie’s bedroom, flipping through her drawings when Morgan and Reid entered the room. They started searching, their movements efficient and methodical.

“Katie’s been wetting her bed,” Reid said as he lifted the duvet, inspecting the mattress beneath it.

“A lot of six-year-olds do. Could be bad dreams,” Morgan replied, crouching beside you as he sifted through a pile of toys.

You considered that possibility—it was perfectly logical. In a perfect world.

“Some kids won’t get up at night because they’re afraid of the dark,” Reid added, his tone careful. Almost knowing.

“Or it could be a lot more complex than that.”

Morgan had found a doll. Not a Barbie missing a shoe or one that had simply been played with too much. No—this doll was different.

Its hair had been hacked off, jagged strands sticking out unevenly. Red marker smeared across its face like smeared blood. Its clothes were yanked askew, twisted, and wrong.

“Most girls covet their dolls like an extension of themselves.” He took the doll in his hands like it was made of fine glass. 

“Reid, I know these signs-— acting out on her toys, wetting the bed. She's obviously covering up something about that necklace.”

“And her cousin might be holding something back.”

“Well, this looks more like a man than a boy to me,” you said, holding up a drawing of a tall, shadowy figure towering over a small, crying child.

Morgan took it from your hands, his expression hardening as he analyzed the image.

“Psychology says drawing is a child’s way of channeling their inner world. Look at the strokes—how harsh they are,” you pointed to the dark, jagged lines forming the tall figure, then traced your finger over the smaller one. “And this looks like Katie to me. She forgot to draw the hands, which means she feels powerless… helpless.” 

Morgan took his phone out, dialing up “Hotch, we think Katie’s being molested,” Morgan said, his voice clipped. “And we both know the odds.”

A brief silence. Then Hotch’s response, firm and certain. “Most likely by someone under the same roof.”

He hung up, and both men started toward the door, their movements brisk with purpose. But you stayed behind for a moment, rooted in place, taking in the scene. Trying to quiet the distant sirens that echoed in your mind, the same ones always shouting when you were face to face with these situations. A loud pause—maybe out of respect for Katie and her pain, for everything she had been forced to endure.

From the doorway, Spencer glanced back. The dim light from the hallway cast your figure in stark contrast, outlining you in shadow—your form dark against the soft glow of the room. He couldn’t see your expression, couldn’t read your face. He focused on the way your hands curled into fists at your sides, the tight set of your shoulders.

And he wished—just for a second—that he could see more.

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　　

You stood outside, leaning against the wall, arms crossed tightly over your chest. By your side were Morgan, Jeremy, Katie’s cousin, and Reid.

Turns out, Katie’s uncle, Richard, was her abuser. A disgusting son of a bitch who deserved to rot in hell. And you were going to make sure he did. He had destroyed Katie’s childhood, probably more than just hers, shattering an entire family in the process. His own son, standing right next to you, was collateral damage he clearly hadn’t spared a thought for. And then there was his wife. The woman who had chosen to look away. Who had taken Katie and nearly gotten her killed, all for the pathetic, desperate hope that it would somehow stop her husband from creeping into little bedrooms at night. She deserved the same hell he did.

A stretcher rolled past, Katie’s small frame barely visible beneath the blankets as the paramedics guided her into the ambulance. Her mother clutched her tiny hand, whispering something—words meant to soothe, to promise safety.

A young voice cut through the air. “I heard her call my mom’s name. That’s what I remembered before.”

You closed your eyes, your mind already racing ahead. Your attorney brain was piecing it together, sketching out the battle that was coming. If the kid had heard it, that made him a witness to the abduction. His own mother had committed the crime against her niece. And God only knew what else he had seen—what else had been happening in that house—without fully understanding it.

“We get it, kid. That’s your mom,” Morgan said, his voice steady. But you knew the truth: if Jeremy could barely say those words to them, getting him to the stand in front of a jury would be another fight entirely.

The boy shifted on his feet, staring at the ambulance. “What’s gonna happen to me now?”

If God existed, He had already been too cruel. He had let all of this happen. And you knew how these things worked—knew there was a very real chance that Katie’s parents, burdened with their own grief, would resent Jeremy by association. That they wouldn’t take him in. That he would be swallowed by the foster system.

You wouldn’t let that happen.

The sirens blared outside the mall, cutting through the air with urgency, but it was the ones inside your mind that were louder—screaming in the same rhythm, as if they were one and the same. Distant and deafening, they filled every corner of your head, drowning out everything but the grim reality unfolding before you.

“I don’t know, Jeremy,” Reid answered, his voice gentle. “But we’re gonna make sure you’re alright, okay?”

Jeremy didn’t look at him. His eyes stayed fixed on the ambulance. “Is Katie gonna be all right?”

You wished—desperately, violently—that you could tell him yes. That you could say it with certainty and make it true. But how could you give him something you didn’t have?

“She will, eventually,” Morgan said, his voice firm.

You exhaled sharply. The words made your skin crawl.

“Is she?” The question slipped from your lips before you could stop it—low, bitter, nearly spat out under your breath. Just quiet enough that the kid wouldn’t hear. Just loud enough that Morgan did.

Before he could respond, you were already moving.

Your feet carried you toward the police car, toward the sick, selfish bastard they were shoving into the backseat. Your hand shot out, slamming the door closed—harder than necessary, just enough that it cracked against Richard’s face.

Morgan watched. So did Spencer.

And for the first time, he realized just how much of a puzzle you really were.

Partially because, throughout all of this, you hadn’t looked at him once. Not when he entered the room, not when he spoke, not even now, standing just a few feet away.

Partially because your eyes, when he finally caught a glimpse of them, were full of something he rarely saw outside of a case like this. Pure, undiluted rage.

Not just anger. Not just frustration. Something deeper. Something personal.

　　　　 　　　 .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.　　

Feedback feeds motivation! Likes, reblogs and comments are all appreciated <3

[yuukiiqwq]

Satoru Gojo, the strongest, who cared only about dominating the court suddenly cared only about you. Him and his team were practicing for a game next week in the school gym when he noticed you sitting among the crowd of spectators. Whenever him and his team practice, the students in school will always come watch in their free time. He recognized some familiar faces, but you, he doesn't recognize you. He had never seen you here before, and something about you dragged his attention towards you.

Satoru, who never misses a shot when he has his hand on the ball, suddenly misses? Dead silence. His team stared at him with confusion and disbelief that the Satoru Gojo missed a shot. His best friend and teammate, Suguru, came up to him with concern in his eyes and asked– "Are you alright, Satoru?"

Satoru runs his hand through his hair and huffed out a fine to his best friend. What the fuck just happened to him? Must have been a fluke he said to himself as his eyes wandered towards the crowd who was gossiping about his failed shot. His eyes then wandered towards you who was staring right at him. His eyes widen when you caught him staring at you before quickly turning away. His heart racing in his chest in an uncontrollable pace. He noticed Suguru and his teammates still staring at him with concern in their eyes.

"C'mon, let's continue practice," he sighs. "I just got distracted. It won't happen again."

The team was reluctant to continue practice because no matter how distracted Gojo was, he had never missed a shot. He could practically play a game with his eyes closed and not miss, but all of a sudden, he missed? As practice continued, Satoru made no other mistakes. He didn't miss again, but every time he scores, his eyes always end up wandering towards you.

Fuck. What the fuck is happening to him? Why can't he stop his eyes from going towards you whenever he scores? Why is he so focused on the way your eyes light up in awe as he makes every shot? The way you wet your soft looking lips with your tongue as you stood at the edge of your seat. You were a sinful sight to behold.

When practice ended, Satoru quickly left the court to go to the locker room. As he pushed past his teammates, he noticed their confused expression. Their confusion was understandable because, normally, Satoru would be the last one to their locker room. Satoru loves attention, so he would always give out fan services when practice or a game ends. However, this time, Satoru was quickly pushing open the gym door to escape, and his eyes wander towards you one last time before completely exiting the gym. He doesn't like what he's feeling right now. It was suffocating, but it's ok, right? Today was just a one-time thing. Oh, how wrong he was.

Since that day, he noticed that you always were there during their practice. He knows you're not from his school because of your uniform, so who exactly were you? Who allowed you in? And why is it that he couldn't get enough of you? Why did you suddenly show up in his life out of nowhere?

Satoru sat down on the bench as the other continued the practice game, wiping his sweat with his towel as he secretly watched you. You who had his under some kind of spell. You who he hasn't spoken one word to since the day he saw you. He wanted you to say his name. Hear the syllables of his name come out of your soft looking lips. Gojo wasn't dumb. He just likes pretending to be, so it doesn't help that he knew exactly what was going on with him. He knew what he was feeling, and it was downright stupid. Fuck love at first sight. It shouldn't exist. He shouldn't want to kiss you. He doesn't even know your name! He groans as he run his hand through his hair again. He curse at himself before he felt something cold touch his cheeks.

"What caught your eyes, Captain?"

Satoru took the water bottle from Shoko's hand and took a big sip. "What are you doing here, Shoko? Don't you have that medical test or whatever to study for?"

Shoko rolled her eyes at his comment– "That was yesterday Gojo. So are you just going to ignore my question? Clearly, something is up for you to miss your shot a few days ago."

"No idea what you're talking about," Satoru replied as he fixed his hair. "Didn't miss nothing."

"Right. It's not like the whole school was gossiping about you missing for the first time."

"These people and their big mouths..." He mumbles. Funny coming from him since he himself would have done the same if the situation was flipped.

Shoko looked toward the place Gojo was eyeing and then saw you. She blinked once and then looked back at Gojo before huffing out a small laugh. Someone is going to be in for a surprise.

"That's his sister, y'know?"

"Not funny, Shoko," Satoru said before looking at Shoko's expression. She was serious. You and your brother look nothing alike. He sighs before mumbling a curse under his breath.

"Oh fuck indeed," Shoko laughs again as she turned towards the gym door. "Going to need some sweets?"

"Yeah, I'll pay you back later."

"Free of charge today. My compensation for this free entertainment. It's going to be an interesting few days." Satoru was now left to his own thoughts. He couldn't help but sigh at his predicament.

Satoru never got the chance to speak to you. Whenever he tries to go towards you, he stops and turns away. He couldn't help but be nervous when it comes to you. It's not his fault that he thinks he'll faint from hearing your voice. He'll talk to you one day when the opportunity arises. It seems fate had granted him his wish. Satoru had met you outside one morning right before his team game. You had accidentally bumped into him while rushing.

"Ouch!" You rubbed your nose from the sudden collision before looking up at him with your innocent and beautiful eyes. Oh fuck. Your voice was music to his ears. He just gone to heaven and what made it even worse was how you looked. Why the fuck do you look so pretty this early in the morning? He himself could barely get out of bed for today's game. His hair is messy and all over the place. His shirt is not all the way buttoned, and his tie is hanging loosely over his neck. If he didn't have a game today, he would be at school getting scold. He just looked like a mess compared to you. Sure, he is a hot mess right now, but this was not the impression he wanted to give when he talked to you. He listened to your endless apologies before interrupting with a question.

"You coming to the game?"

"Huh?" You stopped your apologies at his sudden question before his question clicked. You didn't know he noticed you during his practices. Your eyes instantly light up and grab his hand. "Yes, I am! I'm very excited since it's my first time witnessing a game! I've been to your practice for a while because of my brother's invitation. Oh, my brother is–"

As you continued your rambling, Satoru's eyes were fixated on the fact that you were holding his hands. Your small and soft hand holding his. He stopped your rambling by taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. An intimate act. You looked up at him in confusion, and before you could say anything, he was tugging you along.

"Making sure you don't get lost on the way. Let's walk together to the stadium." An excuse to keep your hand in his even though you were practically strangers. He made sure you couldn't let go.

When the two of you finally arrived at the stadium, he had to let you go. He didn't want to let go, but he had to go towards the locker room so he could change into his game uniform.

"Name is Satoru Gojo. Call me Satoru. Let's hang out after the game today." He then brought your hand towards his lips and kissed it. His eyes moved up towards your eyes, holding your gaze as he whispered– "Keep your eyes on me." He then quickly left towards the locker room, his ears burning from his sudden boldness. While he can dominate the court, you have dominated his heart.

When he entered the locker room, his team was already getting ready for the big games. He quickly went to his locker beside his best friend and started to undress his school uniform. Suguru was already ready for the game, so he was sitting on the bench in the locker room, drinking some water.

"I'm in love with your sister," Satoru blurted out, causing Suguru to immediately spit out the water he was drinking. Confusion and disbelief were written all over his face.

"What?"

Part 2

[cutebat]

You know what, fuck it. I'm going to write my own neglectful yandere batfamily cause everyone else is doing it, but I'm going to do it in a different way.

Yandere Batfam x Neglected, but Defiant Reader

Prologue (Diary Entry)

Warning(s): Mentions of yandere themes, neglect, emotional abuse, mentions of physical abuse, forcing to drop out, attempted guilt tripping, reader is just venting out her feelings

(I made this in the reader's POV to make the whole 'diary entry' thing more sense.)

~~~~~

July 22, 2024

It's funny when someone tells their story.

Only to be told back that it's unrealistic.

Almost as if they're afraid to believe it's real...

Oh, God, that sounded dark.

~~~~~

For everyone who doesn't know,

Bruce is a billionaire who's also a shitty dad

Dick is a dick, like actually

Jason uses his trauma to let all his frustrations on me

Tim is a delusional bitch

Cass was okay until she knocked me to the ground

Damian is just a thing who you want to burn to ashes

Alfred... I guess is just Alfred

~~~~~

I was basically raised as what people would call a 'black sheep'. Kind of like... actually, I don't need to explain all that.

Basically, I was adopted by the infamous Bruce Wayne when I was ten for whatever reason. After the first day of living with him and the family and giving me the new role of Batgirl, everyone just pretended as if I didn't exist.

I tried to interact with every one of them and all I got were "sorry, can't talk right now" and "can you shut up".

Like, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO THEM?!

Is it because I'm prettier than all of them and had barely any trauma in my past? Seriously, why are people so jealous about these kinds of things?

Bruce really signed all that paperwork for nothing.

Of course, my little ten year old brain would think that if I tried to impress all of them with what I could do, maybe I could gain their attention.

So by the time I was twelve with my ten year old mindset goal in my head, I did nine different after school activities, won over fifteen awards for my achievements, and went out to patrol at least six nights a week.

And none of that worked! Those fuckers wouldn't even spare me a glance!

~~~~~

After a while, you don't see a point in trying your best.

I dropped out of most of the clubs I regret joining, I just laid back in my classes, and most of all...

I quit being Batgirl.

I didn't want to, but like I said, where's the point in that?

So with that, I just gave up on everything and just... stopped trying.

~~~~~

But then one year all of that almost changed?

For the first time ever, I found myself suddenly really pretty, and after a month I entered eighth grade, I was suddenly asked out by one guy, then two, and all the way up to ten!

It was like really cool!

The popular girls became my best friends, more guys would ask me out, and the teachers started pointing out that I was their favorite student, even the ones who weren't my teachers.

It felt like I was on top of everything. That I was special. The world is revolving around me.

Finally, I was in a place to build a great reputation.

And then life was like FUCK THAT!

~~~~~

After the first semester of eighth grade, Bruce was weirdly in my room and he said wanted to have a 'talk' with me.

So, during this talk, he was basically talking about the last three years of me being neglected by him and his family. To be honest, I forgot everything he told me, but honestly, I don't really care.

He also told the others about all this and now they suddenly feel bad which I don't give a shit about. But, I knew he was doing all this to guilt trip me, which was honestly so stupid.

Now, after he dropped that bomb, he told me that I had to drop out of school to do some "bonding time" with the others along with him and the people who actually cared about me didn't really matter at all!

I JUST GOT SETTLED IN!

All I said was "FUCK YOU" and just stormed out of my room with the only thing that I took was my diary that I had for quite a while that I never used before.

~~~~~

So, yeah. I'm currently in the attic, venting my feelings all out on this stupid glitter diary with a random pen that I found on the ground.

But whatever.

It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters...

My life is just a game.

A sick, hopeless game.

[punkshort]

Ice Cold

Pairing: Dave York x f!reader

Summary: Dave ghosts you, so you get even by dating someone else in the office. That doesn't sit well with Dave.

Warnings: language, angst, jealousy, possessiveness, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected piv sex, fingering, pussy pronouns, one spank, infidelity, minor violence, office sex, sexual tension

WC: 6.5K

Collection Masterlist

You had become a part of his routine without him even realizing it. Twice a week, minimum, he would seek you out. And it was always on a night when he was doing some work "off the books". Whether it was tailing a target, doing some recon, or actually finishing the job itself, he always found himself driving to your side of town, parking his car a few blocks away, and under the cover of night he would sneak up to your apartment and quietly undo the lock, letting himself inside.

You weren't aware of the pattern. At least, he didn't think you were. The days of the week were always different, but it was always in the middle of the night and he was always dressed in all black.

Hell, maybe you did know. If you did, you never brought it up. Even after his injury, you never asked any questions.

Maybe that was why he kept coming back to you. It was nice having someone who didn't pry, someone he couldn't implicate. You both wanted the same thing - that thing being him fucking you senseless while you babbled his name and clawed at his back, or the sheets, or the wall, or the goddamn floor. He had been seeing you long enough that he had fucked you all over your apartment.

But on that particular night, Dave realized how much he had grown to depend on the release you gave him. How much he thought about coming to see you once his work was done. And more importantly, how much he was growing to care for you.

That wasn't good. When did he become so reckless? One wrong move because he was distracted with thoughts of you and he was dead.

So that was how he found himself staring up at your apartment building, sitting silently in his car. He squinted, searching the rows and rows of windows until he finally saw one with a familiar, small orchid. As if on cue, his cock began to swell. He clenched his jaw and palmed himself through his pants while he weighed his options.

It took every ounce of willpower to start his engine and pull away from the curb.

It had been three weeks since Dave had come to see you and it was driving you insane. You sat right outside his fucking office every single day, watching him go in and out of meetings, chat with executives by the coffee machine, and take phone calls with clients while laughing and resting his feet on top of his desk.

All the while, he hardly spared you a single glance.

That wasn't necessarily new. Ever since this thing you had began, he did his best to keep his distance from you at work. You assumed it was part of the excitement for him: pretending the other didn't exist until a day later he would show up at two in the morning and fuck your brains out.

But something felt different, now. Something was off. And he never, ever, went more than a week without seeing you.

When he stood to speak in meetings, he wouldn't look in your direction whatsoever. If you dropped something off on his desk, he didn't look up. He ignored you when you tried to say hi as he breezed past your desk but if your co-worker on the other side of your cubical said hello to him, he would smile warmly and greet them in return, making your blood boil.

After having your feelings hurt for maybe the fifth time that week, you had just about enough. You snatched a random file folder off your desk and marched up to his office. Your knuckles rapped loudly on the door while your heart did cartwheels in your chest, and when he called out from the other side to enter, you took a deep breath and stepped inside, closing the door quickly behind you.

"What the fuck is your problem?" you seethed. Dave's shoulders stiffened when he heard your voice and slowly turned away from his computer to pin you with a steely glare.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," you said angrily. "What the hell is going on? You're icing me out. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything," he said, tone clipped. "I'm busy."

"Busy?" you repeated mockingly. "You've been busy for three weeks? You can't even look me in the eye most days. What is this? Some weird power trip?"

Dave shook his head and tensed his jaw. "No."

Silence fell between you at that point. You had thought he would have put up more of a fight, argued back, done or said something, but he just fucking... sat there, gaze flickering between you and a spot on the wall behind you.

"So... what?" you asked, voice quieter but still cold. "This is over? You don't want to see me anymore?"

You watched him work his jaw while tapping an expensive looking pen anxiously on a blank pad of paper. His eyes watched the movement while the silence stretched on painfully between you. When the answer became clear based on the way he avoided your eye and refused to speak, your shoulders sagged and you swallowed tightly.

"Right," you said bitterly. Without thinking, you angrily threw the file you were holding at his chest. He jumped and tried to catch it, but gave up when papers fluttered all over his desk and floor.

And he still didn't say a fucking word.

"Could've at least been a man and told me you were done with me to my fucking face," you snarled, then turned on your heel and disappeared back out into the office. You resisted the urge to slam his door behind you, knowing it would have caused a scene, and decided at the last minute to just leave it ajar.

And for the first time possibly ever, when Dave stepped out of his office to leave for the day, you were already gone.

Michael was nice. A little nerdy, a little awkward, but he was relatively good looking and he was sweet. He held doors open for you, always asked questions to get to know you better instead of always talking about himself, and never once pressured you to go home with him, even after you had been out with him several times.

Then again, he was probably too timid to ask you back to his place. Which was fine with you, given you were still struggling to recover from your break up, or... whatever it was that happened between you and Dave.

The week following your outburst in Dave's office, he disappeared for five days. Some people said he was on a business trip, so you chose to believe them. In that time, you had gone on two dates and three lunches with Michael.

He worked in your office, too. He had trained you when you first started and while you hadn't given him a second thought once your training was complete, you caught his gaze lingering on you in the break room the day after your argument with Dave and you made a stupid decision. You flirted with him, asked him if he was seeing anyone, and of course, he asked you to the movies that weekend.

Initially, you had made a rash decision based entirely around making Dave jealous. But when he disappeared for a week and you kept seeing Michael, your attitude shifted a bit. You had decided it was best to move on, and who better to move on with than a nice guy who treated you well?

And it really felt like it was working, too. When you ran into Michael at the water cooler, it gave you butterflies and you couldn't stop yourself from smiling. But in the back of your mind, Dave always lurked. You knew you'd run into him again. It was impossible not to. But when you finally did, it managed to take you completely off guard.

The day it happened, you and Michael were sitting together in the corner of the lunchroom. You had just finished your food and were listening to him tell you a story about a car accident he witnessed on the way into work that morning when you saw movement out of the corner of your eye.

You knew it was Dave before you even saw him. It was like your body just sensed him nearby. Your skin felt flush under the heat of his gaze and your hand began to tremble in your lap when it seemed like he wasn't moving, just frozen and fucking staring. Nervously, you cleared your throat and tossed your hair over your shoulder to glance his way.

His eyes immediately locked with yours. He was gripping a mug of coffee so tightly that you could see the whites of his knuckles even from the opposite side of the room. Michael was still talking, oblivious to the tense moment you were sharing with another man right in front of him.

Another man who, when you were falling asleep at night, still imagined breaking into your apartment while you slept.

Another man who you could still feel inside of you.

Another man who was suddenly crossing the room and making a beeline for your table.

"York," Michael said, sounding surprised when Dave approached. "How was Akron?"

"Fine," Dave said, his eyes never leaving yours. You gulped.

Michael blinked and seemed to remember his manners, introducing you to Dave followed by not sure if you've met.

"We have," Dave replied. He finally tore his eyes away from you to fix Michael with a look that could melt steel when his hand rested nonchalantly on your thigh.

It was under the table, but Dave noticed. He noticed everything.

"She sits right outside my office," Dave reminded him before dragging his gaze back to you.

Michael chuckled and stammered something but you didn't listen. You couldn't. Not with the way your ears were ringing and your pulse thrumming so fast, you thought the whole room could hear.

"Is there something we can do for you?" Michael asked when the awkward silence had gone on too long. Had you even said a word yet? Jesus Christ.

"Yeah," Dave replied, shoving a fist into his pocket. His other hand still tightly gripped his mug and you could tell by the way he bounced a little on his heels and loosened his shoulders that he was trying to come off as relaxed, but you knew better. You knew Dave very well.

"Just wanted to check with you and make sure you're still free for that meeting later?"

It took you at least half a minute to realize Dave was speaking to you.

You straightened your back and crossed your legs under your skirt, forcing yourself to snap out of it.

"Uh, yeah," you mumbled. You had assumed he was just making it up, to fabricate an excuse for him to come over, but then he said, "At four. My office?"

Four. His office.

Your heart was hammering in your chest.

"Y-yeah. Yes."

"Don't keep her too long, York. We're catching dinner tonight, don't wanna be late," Michael said with a sweet, clueless grin in your direction. You tried to mirror him but the best you could do was a shaky smile.

Dave's eyes burned holes into you when he said, "That right? Somewhere nice?"

Michael began to talk about the Italian restaurant he had made reservations for, blabbering on and on about the Sunday sauce and the fucking bread they made in house. Meanwhile, you were wilting under Dave's glare and praying to whatever god was out there that you didn't faint from the pressure.

"Well, I'll do my best," Dave smirked, acknowledging Michael's original concern before swiveling around and disappearing back into the depths of the office.

"Guy's intense," Michael chuckled. You managed to choke out a soft laugh while you shakily cleaned up your lunch. "I didn't know you had meetings with him. What's his deal?"

"Uh, I don't know," you shrugged. "He's alright. Quiet. Keeps to himself."

"I notice he never really talks about himself. Always steers the conversation back to the other person. You ever notice that?"

You frowned and pursed your lips. Did Michael pick up on something between you and Dave?

"I don't think so. We don't talk much."

"When I asked about Akron, for instance, he dodged the question," Michael continued.

"Maybe there's just not much to say about Akron," you shrugged. Who the hell cared? You had bigger things to worry about.

A beat of silence passed between you as Michael walked you back to your desk, but thankfully once you got there, he was back to his usual self once again. He kissed your cheek and said he was looking forward to later, to which you smiled and agreed. But when you turned your back to sit down, Michael's eyes found Dave's from within his office. Michael gave him a terse nod and headed back in the direction of his desk halfway across the massive, open space, leaving you to panic for the next three hours over what the hell Dave really had planned for you at four o'clock.

One minute after four and you found yourself seated across from Dave in his office. You had brought a pad of paper and pen but you had no idea what you would need it for. You triple checked your calendar earlier - there was no meeting at four. So your anxiety just built up all afternoon and was on the verge of boiling over as you watched him calmly scroll through emails while casually pressing the tip of two fingers against his lower lip, giving you the impression he was deep in thought as you squirmed impatiently in your seat.

"You're a lot quieter than the last time you came in here."

Those were the first words he said to you. His gaze still remained fixed on his monitor while you formulated a response.

"What else is there to say?"

His dark eyes flickered over to you and you swore you saw something soft there, but he blinked and suddenly it was gone.

"Guess you're right," he murmured before focusing back on his computer. He waited a minute before adding, "Does he treat you well?"

You glanced at the clock: five after four.

"There's no meeting, is there?" you asked.

"Sure, there is."

Your eyes dropped to his and you swallowed tightly. Fuck, why did he have to look so good? He was just wearing a light blue button down and red tie, but his shoulders looked ready to burst out of the fabric and you kept fantasizing about that goddamn tie dangling in your face as his hands pushed your legs apart to make room for his hips.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, snapping you out of your reverie.

"No," you whispered hoarsely. You cleared your throat but you saw the corner of his mouth twitch and his eyes dart down to catch your thighs pressing together.

"You sure? You look a little warm."

"I'm fine," you hissed.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I know."

Dave sighed and let his hand fall from his computer mouse so he could turn and face you properly.

"Just tell me if he's treating you well, and I'll let it go."

You swallowed again and fixed your gaze on his desk when you said, "Yes. He's nice."

Dave nodded once. "Nicer than me?"

"I thought you said you'd let it go."

He smirked and laced his fingers together on his desk. "I'm finding it harder than I thought to let things go that pertain to you."

Butterflies bloomed in your stomach and you tried your hardest to control your breathing while those goddamn beautiful eyes of his kept staring at you, waiting for an answer.

"It's - I can't compare you to him," you said quietly. His shoulders stilled and you realized he was holding his breath. "It's not exactly apples to apples. He doesn't sneak into my apartment in the middle of the night and you didn't take me to Italian restaurants."

"Is that what you wanted? For me to take you out?" he asked, the vulnerability in his voice surprising you.

"Uh, well, I - I never really-"

A shrill ring pierced the air and the red light on the corner of his desk phone lit up. His hand immediately stretched out to tap a button and he cleared his throat.

"York."

A female voice greeted him on the other end, announcing that he was on speakerphone with a handful of others whose names she rattled off and you realized that there was, in fact, a meeting. Dave tapped another button, presumably the mute button, so he could point to your pen.

"I need you to take notes."

You nodded numbly and slowly picked up your pen, jotting down the date in the corner of a blank page while your mind was reeling. You did your best to write down key phrases and talking points, but your brain was scrambled from the past ten minutes.

"So," Dave said casually, leaning back in his chair. "He's nice, takes you to restaurants-"

Your eyes flickered to the phone, checking to make sure he was still muted.

"-what else?"

Your jaw tensed and you dropped your pen. There was a meeting, sure, but clearly not an important one. It was all a ruse, after all.

"You're the one who stopped coming to see me, remember?" you snapped. His eyebrows twitched but otherwise he didn't move. "Why are you doing this? Why are you asking me all these questions when I'm just trying to move on-"

"You're mad."

"Yes, I'm mad!" you exclaimed, then lowered your voice and rubbed the back of your neck with a sigh.

"And you're tense," he added lowly. You nodded and rolled your head from side to side. Dave's eyes fell to the soft skin of your neck and he licked his lips.

"Yes," you whispered.

He hummed and tented his fingers together, deep in thought.

"Seems like being nice and taking you for expensive dinners doesn't hold up well in bed," he taunted, making your eyes narrow and your nostrils flare.

"Stop it."

"Tell me I'm wrong," Dave pressed, leaning forward again and resting his forearms on the desktop. Your gaze fell to his hands; those thick, skilled fingers and that strong grip. Your legs began to tremble from how hard you were clenching them together. When you didn't answer, he grew impatient.

"Just tell me and I promise I'll let it go."

People walked by Dave's office. You could hear their muffled voices laughing while you sat there, feeling like you were about to combust.

He wouldn't stop. You could tell by the look in his eye, he wasn't ever going to let you leave without admitting it. So, you sighed and crossed your arms.

"We haven't had sex. Happy?"

His face instantly lit up but he tried to hide it with a condescending frown.

"Oh, baby, no wonder you're all worked up," he cooed.

"I'm worked up because you're being an asshole."

Dave shrugged. "Maybe. Either way, I can help you."

You barked out a laugh and rolled your eyes, ignoring the heat that flared between your legs. "How's that? Waking me up in the middle of the night so you can fuck me and disappear?"

Something not unlike regret flickered across his face.

"I didn't realize our arrangement wasn't working for you," he admitted, not a trace of teasing to be found in his voice.

"It wasn't working for you, if I recall," you shot back. You refused to let him confuse you. Did you wonder what it would be like to have a normal relationship with Dave? Sure. But you knew what you signed up for from the beginning, and that was fine. You never said a word otherwise and didn't plan on it.

He was the one who stopped showing up.

"Not true," he said with a shake of his head. "It was working too well. That was the problem." Your eyes widened as you listened to him speak. You had resigned yourself to never getting closure with Dave, but it turned out you were wrong. His fingers tapped nervously on the desk while a man's voice began to filter through the speaker on his phone.

"You were becoming a distraction. And a constant," he continued after a moment. "It was getting too risky for us both, so..."

"So you ghosted me."

Shame passed over his face when he nodded.

"Yeah."

You sniffled and silently stared down at your lap. It made sense. Whatever it was he did at night was dangerous and illegal, that much you knew. You had to imagine many bad people would try to get to Dave at any given time, try to kill him, so he couldn't risk lowering his guard, and he couldn't risk putting you in harm's way.

"You could have just told me that instead of making me feel like shit for weeks," you grumbled. Dave nodded.

"I know. I'm- I'm sorry."

Closure. An apology. Finally.

You sighed and dragged your gaze back up to his.

"Apology accepted."

More muffled voices walked past his office while you stared at one another. The words projection and budget and sales were being said in a monotone voice through his phone, but neither of you absorbed any of it. You were too lost in each other's eyes as the heat that always seemed to crackle between you grew even hotter.

"Are we good now?" you asked, breaking the spell.

"Good?" he repeated while tilting his head to the side.

You swallowed. "Yeah. Good. Can we work together without this being weird?"

Slowly, he nodded, but you could still feel that familiar spark. The one you usually felt in the stillness of your apartment late at night.

The tension was too thick. You had to look somewhere else, anywhere else, so your eyes found the clock behind him. Half past four.

"Something wrong?"

Your eyes shifted back to his face.

"No," you murmured. He shook his sleeve loose and glanced down at his watch.

"Don't worry, I'll get you to your date on time."

You had completely forgotten about your dinner plans with Michael. Something must have given that thought away because Dave smirked and shot you a knowing look.

"That's what you're thinking about, right?" he asked with a teasing edge to his voice. Then his gaze dropped down to your lap where your legs remained pressed tightly together. "Or are you thinking about something else?"

Your pulse fluttered nervously in your throat and you could have sworn Dave saw it, like a predator zeroing in on his prey.

"No," you lied, voice coming out thick and raspy, making your chest flush with embarrassment.

Dave hummed and looked away, pretending to read something in his email while he not so subtly dropped a hand to adjust himself through his black dress pants. You mouth watered at just the mere memory of his thick cock lying heavy across your tongue and you made a soft noise in the back of your throat. Dave focused on you again and grinned.

"You sure you're not thinking about anything else?"

You shook your head, trying to ignore the pull low in your belly when he looked at you like that. But when he leaned forward in his chair and you found your own body drifting forward like a fucking magnet, you knew you were done for.

"Can I tell you what I'm thinking about?" he asked. You gulped and nodded before you even had a chance to think it over. He smirked and ticked his jaw to the side, clocking the way your chest rose twice as fast as normal underneath your blouse.

"I'm thinking about how good that tight little cunt would feel right about now," he said lowly. You whimpered and glanced at the phone again, confirming the mute button was still lit up before looking back at Dave. He was still pinning you with the darkest stare, as if people weren't yapping through the speaker or walking past his office every few minutes.

"She's all wet for me, isn't she?" he goaded from across his desk. With a last ditch attempt at having some dignity, you shook your head, voice long gone and no longer trustworthy. Dave tsked and narrowed his eyes.

"You're lying."

You glanced at the clock again, cheeks flaring with heat under his tense gaze, then cleared your throat and forced yourself to speak.

"I'm not lying."

Even to you, your voice sounded broken and foreign.

"Prove it," he whispered.

Your breath stuttered and you felt a gush of arousal flood your panties, betraying the very words you just spoke. And even though you knew you shouldn't, even though you knew it would undo all the progress you thought you just made, you found yourself murmuring, "Here?"

"Here," he replied firmly, then patted the top of his desk and slowly leaned back in his chair while spreading his legs, waiting for you to make your decision.

You rose to your feet before you even had a chance to think, but that's how it always was with Dave. The things he said and did to you caused your mind to go blank and just give in.

A small chorus of laughter echoed through the phone but neither of you registered it when you rounded his desk and stood between his knees.

To his credit, he kept his eyes on your face, even after you perched on the edge of his desk and propped up a heeled foot on either arm rest of his chair, caging him in. You bunched up the fabric of your skirt, breath coming in excited, shallow pants, before pressing one hand flat onto the desk behind you, holding yourself up. Dave's expression didn't change. He kept staring deep into your eyes throughout it all, but when you hooked your underwear to the side and revealed your glistening cunt underneath your skirt, his eyes finally dropped to take a look.

"Christ," he groaned, tugging at the knot of his tie. You smirked when you finally saw the crack in his armor. His brows pinched together as if he were in pain as he continued to stare between your legs. After what felt like an eternity, he swallowed and met your gaze again.

"You lied."

"I know."

He stood up in a flash, his chair rolling somewhere behind him while your legs dropped to dangle over the edge of the wood. He made a move to grab your thighs but hesitated. Instead, he curled his hands into fists and planted them on either side of you.

"Tell me what you want," he said darkly, lips hovering dangerously close to yours. You shuddered and your eyelids slid closed, breathing in the sweet scent of coffee, mint, and ink. "Tell me what you want and I'll do it," he said more firmly.

That was one of the things that kept you coming back to Dave: when it came to moments like that one, when you felt like you were floating and lost under his spell, he always reminded you who really held the power.

"I want you to fuck me," you whispered. Instantly, your mouths sealed together and his hands grabbed your thighs, pulling them even further apart so he could wedge his hips between them. With a quickness that shocked you, he reached under your skirt and tugged your underwear down your legs with one hand, letting them drop unceremoniously to the floor before his hands were back on you again.

Your tongue slid past his parted lips to find its mate while your hand dropped to his belt. Shaky fingers tugged hastily at the leather while some woman droned on through the phone next to you.

You swallowed down his groan when you made quick work of opening his belt and pants, letting the fabric hang loose so you could reach for what you really wanted. At the same time you wrapped your fist around his smooth, aching cock, his fingers found your slit. He slipped two fingers past your lips and you whimpered into his mouth when you felt your arousal begin to leak out onto his desk.

"Fuck," he groaned before swiping his fingers through your pussy once more. "Fuck, you're so wet. You need me bad, huh?"

"Yeah," you whined, biting at his lower lip once before your mouth drifted down to his jaw. You scooted closer to the edge of his desk and pulled him in, hand still stroking his erection. Dropping your chin to your chest, you looked down between your bodies. He was leaking and rock hard and so fucking close to where you needed him.

With your free hand, you curled your fingers around the back of his neck and pulled his mouth against your throat, moaning when his lips made contact with your pulse point.

"Can't be loud," he panted. The tip of his cock bumped against your pussy and you bit back another moan.

"Y-yeah, okay," you stammered. "Just - please, Dave. Please-"

"I know, I know," he said, and each of you held your breath when he dropped his hips forward to notch at your entrance.

You tried to look him in the eye when he pressed inside, but the feeling of relief was so exquisite that it had you falling forward to bury your face into his neck.

He cursed softly under his breath once he was fully sheathed inside you, but all you could do was press your mouth firmly against his throat, hoping to muffle any noises that slipped past your lips once he began to move.

"Shit," he sighed when he drew himself halfway out just to thrust deep inside your cunt once again. Your eyebrows knit together as you concentrated on not making any noise, but it was a next to impossible task. The way he stretched you and filled you up just right every single time had you completely forgetting where you were.

His big hands found a home on your waist, holding you steady when he began to snap his hips faster. Your ankles hooked around the backs of his legs and your fingers clawed helplessly at his back while he fucked you, wishing you could cry out his name and beg for more.

"This is what you wanted, huh? This what you needed?"

He murmured into your ear as he pounded into you, each knock of his hips taking your breath away. All you could do was nod helplessly and take it.

"Not him. Me," he clarified. When you heard the jealousy in his voice, you smiled into his skin.

"Yes," you whispered.

"Fucking - say it," he grunted.

"Just you, Dave," you gasped. The tip of his cock kissed your cervix and you whimpered, praying it wasn't too loud. His hand shot up to grab your jaw, a thumb and forefinger pushing into each one of your cheeks. Startled, you opened your eyes.

"You're gonna go on your little dinner date," he growled, "and you're gonna have my cum leaking out of you. Every fucking time you move, you're gonna think of me. Right?"

"Yes," you hissed, then yanked your chin out of his grip so you could bend forward and whisper in his ear, "but I was going to be thinking about you either way."

That pleased him. He chuckled and held your hips steady before pulling out of you roughly. You whined and Dave pressed a finger against your lips.

"Turn around."

With a mischievous grin, you slid down from his desk and did as you were told, leaning your forearms on his desk and sticking out your ass. But right when he was ready to enter you again, you both heard his name through the phone.

He paused and reached forward to unmute and your heart sunk.

"Yeah, Kathy?"

You closed your eyes and let your forehead fall to your hands, already anticipating losing the build up of your orgasm, but much to your surprise, you felt the tip of his cock nestle between your folds. Your head snapped up right when he buried himself fully inside you, eyes bugging out of your head and your jaw hung open in a silent scream.

The phone wasn't muted. Kathy was yammering on about quarterly something or others, wanting to get Dave's take on things, while he was already slowly fucking you once again.

"Yeah, so, I think the projections for next month look very positive," Dave was saying while shallowing thrusting in and out of you. Your teeth sunk into the back of your hand and tears burned your eyes, but you remained perfectly quiet. "There's a few big clients we're ready to lock down any day now, and-"

Dave coughed when your cunt clenched around him, stilling his hips and causing him to dig his fingers into your waist.

"Excuse me," he said, voice sounding an octave higher than usual. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he began to fuck into you faster.

"Next quarter looks promising. Fourth quarter always dips below expectations-"

Dave grunted softly when your back arched and your hand reached behind you to grab his wrist. You began to rock your hips, matching his pace and pulsing around him with your lip trapped between your teeth. You were close.

"-we always make up for it the following year," he continued while reaching around, pressing the pad of his finger against your clit.

You gasped, completely forgetting about the phone. Half a second later, you folded your palm across your mouth. The timing was perfect, too, because Dave gave you a sharp smack across the ass as punishment while clearing his throat to cover up the noise.

A man's voice joined in through the phone, but you couldn't process a single word he said. Dave was fucking into you steadily now with a firm finger still drawing tight circles over your clit. Your hips were grinding into the edge of his desk, almost sure to leave bruises the following day, but you didn't care one bit. The pleasure that was mounting between your legs was overpowering every other sensation, and when it finally snapped, throwing you over the edge with a silent scream into your palm, nothing else mattered. Nothing except for Dave.

"Yes, Charles, I agree," he said through clenched teeth. Your climax was still rolling through you, causing your pussy to gush and squeeze around his cock, trying to pull him over the edge and give you what you wanted. What he promised.

Mercifully, Charles took the lead and began to give his own insight. Dave fell forward, chest hovering just over your back, and he slapped the mute button. The little button glowed red and he let out a low groan right next to your ear before he shuddered and then stilled. A moment later, you felt his release flooding your pussy, filling you up more and more with each soft moan that tumbled from his lips until he sighed and dropped his forehead to rest on the back of your shoulder.

"You're gonna get me fired," he murmured into your back. You laughed dryly with your eyes closed.

"Something tells me you'd be just fine."

Dave chuckled and slowly pushed himself up with a groan. One hand held your hip steady so he could pull out, grunting when he abandoned the warmth of your body. Almost instantly, you felt his seed trickle out of you, smearing between your thighs when you pressed them together.

You stood with a wince, legs and hips already aching, and went to fix your skirt when much to your surprise, Dave's hands got there first. He got down on his knees to take you gently by the ankles, guiding each leg through the material of your panties before sliding them back into place. Then his eyes locked with yours when he straightened your skirt, hands lingering on the bare skin of your calves for just a moment. You swallowed tightly, fascinated by the sight of him on his knees for you with such an endearing look across his face.

Behind you, voices in the phone were bidding everyone farewell, snapping Dave out of his trance. He stood and tapped the mute button, mimicked a polite goodbye, then hung up. His eyes drifted to you once again, still frozen in place up against his desk.

"Hope you aren't too late for your dinner."

You glanced at the clock and cursed when you saw it was already a few minutes past five.

"He's probably waiting out there for me," you told him. Dave nodded curtly and you thought that was your cue to leave, so you took one step forward. When his hand shot out to grab your arm, you swiveled back around.

Dave's lips met yours with the sweetest kiss you'd ever shared with him. There was no urgency or messiness or fighting for dominance. It was soft and tender and chaste, making your heart rattle inside your chest. But just as quickly as it started, it was over. He dropped your arm and slumped down tiredly in his chair, effectively dismissing you.

A big part of you wanted to ask if he was going to start coming by your apartment again, but you bit your tongue. What you just shared was probably just one last fuck for him; break up sex, if you were willing to call it a break up, and the last thing you wanted to do was embarrass yourself. So you ran your fingers through your hair and gathered your things before disappearing out into the office, softly shutting the door behind you, the whole time feeling Dave's gaze watching your every move.

Surprisingly, Michael was not at your desk. You didn't think anything of it, just grateful you had a few extra minutes to yourself to breathe and shift gears before having to see him. As you were packing up your things, you saw a pink post-it note stuck to your coffee mug: meet you in the parking ramp.

Okay, so he had been there at some point. It was probably a good thing Dave actually had a conference call at four. It kept you from feeling too paranoid as you switched off your light and pulled on your coat. You hurried to the elevator all alone, the floor almost entirely empty, which was no surprise for a Friday. Right before you stepped onto the elevator, you glanced back once towards Dave's closed door. His light was still on, the bright yellow glow peered out from the crack under his door.

All the way down to the parking garage, you were burdened by the words Dave moaned in your ear and the empty feeling he left inside your leaking pussy. Something about him was so magnetic, it was difficult to think about anything else. It was why you were so distracted walking towards your car in the dark parking garage and didn't hear the soft footsteps of a man sneaking up behind you, hitting you so hard over the head with something heavy and narrow that you passed out immediately.

Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates ❤️

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

I was angry. I'm still angry. But sadness and exhaustion have overtaken that anger, and I have A LOT to say about this.

Dead Boy Detectives is a very special show to me. It occupies a ridiculously large place in my heart, and it's brought me joy in a way that only a few pieces of media ever have. When I watched it for the first time, Edwin Payne had my heart within minutes. By the end of episode one, Charles Rowland did, too.

It meant a lot to me, seeing such wonderful and nuanced queer characters brought to life in the type of paranormal story I have always loved. In these past months, Edwin and Charles have felt like real friends to me, and to never see them again without a satisfying conclusion to their story is something I have not truly processed. Same for Niko and Crystal and The Cat King - they should be back. But I haven't fully processed it yet, that they're not coming back, and yet I am still aggreived.

@netflix is, at this point, so fucking gagged on capitalism's dick that they're not even pretending to care about art anymore. Dead Boy Detectives is genuinely masterfully made on just about every level. The actors did a phenomenal job and I will be following all their careers heavily. Steve, Beth, and the writing team crafted an incredible tale. The sets, the lighting, the props, the effects were all on point. This was a well-constructed program, and you could tell that everyone involved with the project gave it their all because they cared so deeply.

(Also my heart breaks for the whole cast, but it's hardcore hurting for George since this was not only his first screen role but one he clearly thought he would be keeping as of two weeks ago. He seemed so secure. I hate this for him.)

In addition to being a good show, DBDA had good reception. It's got a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes, was on the Top 10 for several weeks, got 4.7 million views within week one, and was getting daily articles posted on various review sites with NOTHING but praise. The fandom is incredibly active. We trend on Tumblr like five times a week and on Twitter regularly as well.

THE. SCRIPT. FOR. SEASON. 2. WAS. WRITTEN.

What the fuck happened?

Idiot executives at @netflix, choking on the dick of capitalism, probably just thought that they wouldn't get new subscribers for a second season of an existing show that didn't rake in Bridgerton-level cash. That's how they work - people who are interested in it are already subscribers, so who the fuck cares about them? Better to make some other shit, hope new people subscribe, and maybe that'll be a Bridgerton-level hit.

But also, Netflix has fun little trends to look into. And, when you look at the lineup of shows Netflix has canceled, they are overwhelmingly queer. The homophobia of @netflix and their operatives is clearly boundless, and it hits here really badly because this show was clearly made with a queer audience in mind. It was one of the most authentic pieces of queer media I have ever experienced, if not THE most authentic pieces of queer media that I have ever experienced.

It's fucking ridiculous that Netflix canceled a show that they commissioned a completed script of months ago. It sucks that they decided that their existing subscribers, their queer subscribers, did not matter.

Edwin and Charles are ours now. Well, of course, they're George's and Jayden's respectively, but the characters are no longer Netflix's to use and throw out. They're ours now, our fandom's, and we all love them so much.

And we deserved to see more of them, and we deserved to see their love story play out onscreen, but I for one am not going anywhere. Let's give Edwin and Charles - and the rest of the gang - millions of versions of the stories and endings that Netflix deprived them of.

[onlyangel4]

cindy lou who. cs55. op81. SMAU. final part

request: Can you do a lando x reader or Carlos x reader based on the song Cindy Lou who by Sabrina Carpenter

in which carlos moves on but you couldn't. when you do move on you realise he didn't move on as much as you thought he had

warnings: angst. cursing. five year age gap with carlos. for this i am just pretending the the hungarian gp did not have all of its issue and it was a normal win for oscar, pls let me be delusional.

part one

y/ninsta posted a story tagging alexandrasaintmleux and charlesleclerc

written: happy anniversary to my favourite couple in the entire world. thank you for looking after me when things went to shit a year ago. i will never forget the kindness you both showed me. i love you both.

y/ninsta

written: celebrating love with my favourite people tonite!

f1updates

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 150,321 others

f1updates: charles and alex are throwing party to celebrate their anniversary so of course the biggest advocate for their relationship y/n y/ln is in attendance. this is y/n's first time attending a driver based event since she broke up with carlos sainz just over a year ago. carlos and rebecca are also in attendance. awkward.

view all 10,902 comments

user1: go on y/n show him what he fumbled

user2: welcome back y/n the kids missed you

user3: she is so fucking hot

landonorris posted a story

written: third wheeling at an anniversary party. i am so fucking single.

f1wags

liked by user5, user6, user7 and 128,092 others

f1wags: carlos sainz and rebecca donaldson were pictured in a heating argument out in monaco. this comes a week after the entire grid met to celebrate charles and alex. sources said the couple looked solid then but now it is a very different story. rebecca and carlos have unfollowed each other on all social media and rebecca is no longer wearing her engagement ring.

view all 2,928 comments

user6: so there starts being runours about oscar and y/n and then this happens. umm.. suspicious

user5: y/n i stg if you go back to him i will track you down and kill you myself

user7: i hope to god that our y/n keeps her composure and leaves him in the past

f1wags

liked by user8, user9, user10 and 210,921 others

f1wags: our jaws are on the floor. y/n y/ln has arrived at the hungarian gp. she arrived alone but people did see her rush over to alexandra saint mleux. no one knows what garage y/n will be in. but here at f1wags we have our fingers crossed for mclaren.

view all 721 comments

user8: i swear to god if she is here with carlos. babe it has been over a year, forget about him

user9: y/noscar nation rise

user10: the fit oh my god wag y/n is so back

y/ninsta

liked by danielricciardo, fernandoalonso, alexandrasaintmleux and 912,321 others

tagged oscarpiastri

y/ninsta: guys my boyfriend just won his first gp and i am sobbing in mclaren hospitality. i love you with all my heart osc. you have made me so fucking proud my love.

view all 19,021 comments

oscarpiastri: i love you so much. you are the best lucky charm to ever exist

y/ninsta: stop, you'll make me cry again

danielricciardo: that's my boy

y/ninsta: no mine

fernandoalo_oficial: if this one hurts you like the other one did i will kill him

y/ninsta: i'll tell him that

alexandrasaintmleux: everyone say thank you alex and charles for introducing this couple

y/ninsta: thank you darling

oscarpiastri: thank you for introducing me to my girl

[fluffylino]

hyunjin will do anything for your attention (psst maid dress ehe)

-contains mature themes

your eyes landed on your boyfriend who was all dolled up. wearing a flimsy little dress. his milky white thighs exposed even more when he crossed his legs.

ignoring him, you walked into the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water. you couldn't help but steal a couple of glances.

he had pretty pink bows in his hair. a cute bell around his neck.

quickly pretending to rinse the glass. when you saw how he quietly walked upto you. sitting himself on the kitchen counter. a few inches away from the sink.

right next to your standing figure.

you simply gave him the cold shoulder, walking right past him to place the glass back on the stand.

he let out an almost inaudible whine and you mentally smiled to yourself.

two days ago. the both of you had an argument.

it was pretty petty. yet you were still giving him the silent treatment. hyunjin had been busy. no doubt. however it always felt like you were the only one putting effort to go on dates with him.

of course he too would also. but it had been 2 weeks since their comeback. and he had a lot of free time. and whatever. the point was, it was mainly you getting annoyed to the extent you didn't pay any attention to him. it was mean. and maybe a bit funny. but you genuinely were a little hurt.

you had stuck a tiny note on the fridge the night before. after he had fallen asleep.

it read :

"i'll only talk to you if you actually try to and make an effort for me to forgive you. i don't care if it embarasses you.

- :] "

he seemed to take it seriously.

in the first 24 hours he bought all your favourite dishes and cooked up some spicy ramyeon. adding an egg on top because thats how you liked it.

of course you ate it. eagerly. not leaving a thing behind. you were annoyed.

but your love for him was still stronger. you couldn't possibly hurt him by not appreciating the effort he took. however you hummed casually. not giving him any response. simply brushing him off like he was non existent.

washing your plate and his before walking away to shower. hyunjin sat at the table, head down.

almost like a attention deprived puppy.

today though was different.

you looking forward to his next attempt.

the tv playing on thr background while you sat on the sofa. not a single thought in your head.

except for the images of your beloved boyfriend in that skimpy dress. not to mention thr fact that he was still loitering around in the kitchen.

you stared at your chipped nail. trying your best to make it seem like you didn't see how he carefully trodded across the room. choosing to sit in the space between your spread legs on the ground.

he sat sideways, long legs awkwardly placed on the floor.

his dress riding up his thighs. just maybe a centimeter more and you'd see his panti-

was he wearing pink lace panties?!?!?

you bit your lip subtly, tilting your head to the side, to peek at what was under his dress.

you were right. he really was all dolled up. not to mention the perfume that radiated off his body.

making you want to pounce on him.

shit you were looking. you averted your gaze so fast you felt dizzy. luckily he was too busy pulling the straps of the outfit up his shoulders to notice.

you could feel his gaze on you. so strong. so captivating. you were sure his lips would be jutting out.

was he wearing your lip gloss??!!!?.

the extra shiny pink shade that you'd only wear on extremely special occassions. damn, you were screwed.

you wanted to take him right there and then.

in the corner of your eye, you could vaguely see him looking up at you.

and you finally spared him a glance when he placed his head on the inside of your thigh. rubbing his cheek affectionately.

Sighing, you rubbed your temples. heart shattering upon seeing the way his expression dropped. eyes growing sadder. and slowly he moved away.

like a kicked puppy who was mistreated and ignored.

"come here" you quickly let out before he could get up. he scrambled up to his knees. elbows digging into your thighs.

"where did you get this?" you asked, carefully tucking a strand of his hair behind.

"online" he mumbled. leaning into your touch.

"m'sorry"

you couldn't stay mad at him. honestly you were fine. just driven by curiousity. "i know" you let out, sitting up to kiss him on his forehead. his eyes still closed as you pulled away. lips parted.

god, he was so cute.

.

.

"c-can't i can't hhnggh-" hyunjin cried out. bent over the short table. your strap pushing into him. it was a bigger size. the one that he was begging you to use on him.

"you can." you stated. raising your hand to adjust the cute pink bow that was clipped into his hair. it had come undone.

the sight below you sending waves of pleasure through you. his hole sucking you in.

lube all over his thighs. staining his pretty lace thigh highs. the bows had come undone. hanging down.

his dress pushed up on his back. displaying all his parts to you. dick hanging between his legs. leaking all over the floor.

"you're my pretty maid, aren't you" he panted, shaking his ass onto you. as if agreeing to you.

"y-yes...always at your service"

you smirked, kneading his plush skin. loving the way his lace panties were still on. torn from where you entered him.

"anything for you m-master"

"anything? careful what you wish for baby"

"i can take anything and e-everything you give aahh mhm...m-me"

.

..

.

i wanna write some more...but maybe with j-jisung........?

[hgfictionwriter]

Revelations: Part Three

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: If you are going to be with Jessie, then you need to accept that her daughter - and this ex - are now a part of her life. You meet them for the first time and try to determine if this is something you can endure.

Warnings: Angst. Language

A/N: Rest of series is here.

Jessie's phone lit up as a text came in and your eye was immediately drawn to it. While she had kept her phone on her at all times the past few weeks, she now kept it out in the open - perhaps some unspoken gesture to show that she had nothing further to hide.

Still, seeing Sara's name come up on her phone sent a sharp pain through your chest.

Jessie cleared her throat uncomfortably and shot you a fleeting look as she leaned forward on the couch to grab it. She opened the message in such a way that you could easily see it if you so chose to read it.

It was upsetting one way or another for you, so you might as well know exactly what was being discussed. You feigned indifference, pretending to continue watching TV, but you fully read the message.

"Hi. There's a fair this weekend with kids entertainment and stuff. I was thinking of taking Zoie. Do you want to come?"

"And, if you think Y/N is ready or wants to come, you can bring her and she can meet Zoie."

"I know she just found out and you said she's struggling a bit, but I think it's okay for her to meet Zoie at this point. Just let me know and I'll tell Zoie she's going to meet Y/N."

Jessie fidgeted as she read the message and clicked her screen off hurriedly and set the phone back down on the coffee table. You scoffed bitterly.

"Oh good. You've been talking to her about me behind my back. That's amazing, Jess," you said with a false smile and an empty laugh. "And so good to know I have permission to show up."

Jessie took a steadying breath and turned to you with a pleading look.

"I know that looks bad," she said. You sat back and gave her an even stare, inviting her to offer an explanation. She sighed heavily. "I mean, it's a lot for a young kid to suddenly meet this parent she didn't know existed and then to add another person to the mix right away, so..."

Your teeth clenched together. Though the logic stood, what spoke louder to you, whether she was saying it explicitly or not, was her defending this woman over you. It was your worst fears about this whole situation coming true.

She mattered more than you. You were an outsider.

You clicked your tongue as your anger and resentment - things you'd tried to cap since this all came to light - began to froth and boil over.

"Well forgive me for not knowing how to navigate this and knowing what's fair and right. I can't say that I've ever encountered this," you said curtly. "Everything's just so fucking complicated now."

"I know," she agreed with a heavy sigh.

Her reaction did nothing to satiate you. Instead, your frustration with everything - with her; with her choices - continued to amplify. Accusations that had flit about in your mind now bled out onto your tongue.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have been so fucking stupid."

Your words hung in the air.

"I'm sorry," she said tentatively after a beat. "I basically just told her that you knew now and-"

"That's not what I'm talking about!" You exclaimed and she was silenced into submission. "I'm talking about this whole fucking situation!"

She sat meekly, looking at you out of the corner of her eye. Your chest felt tight and tears began to burn behind your eyes. You stared hard at her, silently challenging her to offer a rebuttal, some consolation, anything, but she sat wordlessly and eventually your face screwed up with grief.

"I'm so fucking mad at you," you cried. You wanted to spit the words, show how upset and outraged you were, but instead your voice was shaky and small. You sniffled. "I know you didn't mean for this to happen. I know you don't want to hurt me. But everything's fucking different now. Everything I had planned - we had planned - it might as well not exist anymore.

"I'm so upset, and this all your fault. You didn't even care about this girl! And you got her fucking pregnant? Are you stupid?! What's wrong with you!"

Jessie winced at your reproach. Your shoulders hitched with a suppressed sob while you stared her down. She quietly took your beratement.

"I know you know how to use a fucking condom. You haven't even cummed inside me for God's sake. But you'll risk fucking her? Was her pussy that fucking good?! What the FUCK, Jessie! Now you've ruined both our lives!"

The words were out of your mouth long before your mind could properly process - and vet - them.

She sat up straight, her eyes shimmering with tears now as she looked at you.

"I know I fucked up," she said with a strangled voice. "I know it was stupid. And irresponsible. I had one stupid moment where I wasn't The Responsible One, The Mature One - always worried about the future. I was just having fun. And yes, yes," her voice broke, "now there are consequences. And I'm so sorry they're affecting you. But," she swallowed hard, "they've affected me too, you know. And, yes, it's my fault, but the future - as we both planned it - I've had to grieve it, too. And I feel so fucking horrible for doing this to us, but, if you give it space, there's good here. I've ruined your life? It's different, but it's not ruined."

She gave a laugh that was sad and bewildered all at the same time.

"When I found out, I thought the same. I was beside myself and terrified. I was just praying that this would all go away. So much regret. But once I met Zoie?" Jessie's mannerisms changed, her expression grew lighter and softer. "I didn't feel that way anymore. How could I look at her and feel like my life is ruined? And I'm really hopeful that you'll feel similar when you meet her."

Anger and resentment still swirled inside your chest. Now she was trying to make you feel like a bad person? Probably not her intention, but it felt like a criticism. You blinked through your tears.

"I'm glad you can feel that way," you told Jessie, an edge in your voice. "I don't know how I'll feel. All I know is that right now, it all feels so unfair." Your lip trembled and you hated that you couldn't control it. "And it feels like you've left me behind." More tears fell and you hugged yourself tightly. "It feels like you have a whole new life and you built it entirely without me. I just blinked and you're gone. And now it's on me to try to catch up."

"Baby," Jessie said with a mix of love and regret as she pulled you into a hug. You resisted momentarily before allowing her to embrace you. Your emotional resolved failed as well and you began to sob in her arms. She rubbed your back and held you tightly while she kissed your head. "That's not the case at all. And I'm so, so sorry that I've made you feel that way. I know it's been so much, but you are the most important person to me.-"

Lies. You couldn't be anymore.

"-I want you by my side. There's no one else I want to build a life with. And I'm sorry that I've made it feel otherwise. I love you so much."

Your body shook as she hugged you. There was so much to mourn, but most prominent right now was this realization that this was the first period in your whole relationship where you haven’t felt content in her arms; where she wasn't the solution. Your safety.

You felt conflicted. A large part of you still desperately wanted her. You still loved her to your core. But part of you was desperate to escape.

"I don't need to go this weekend," Jessie said softly as she kissed your head.

Your stomach twisted in knots.

If you wanted a future with Jessie, you needed to get onboard. You couldn't stand on the sidelines. You couldn't hold her back. She was never yours alone, a thing to possess and keep, and this was a good reminder of that.

You had to integrate yourself and be a part of this, as uncomfortable and intimidating as it felt. Maybe things would be easier if you just dove head first.

You relented.

"Let's go."

She pulled back slowly to eye you skeptically. She tucked your hair behind your ear. "We really don't have to," she assured you. "I don't want to rush you. There's plenty of time."

"I want to meet her," you affirmed.

Jessie continued to study you, but her face slowly lit up and she laughed quietly. "Thank you. Honestly. This means so much. I really think you'll fall in love with her. I want us to do this together." She tamped her burgeoning excitement and spoke in earnest. "You sure? Because I also fully understand if you're not at this point yet."

You didn't break your gaze.

"I'm fine, Jess. I'll be okay."

----

"Are you ready?"

You weren't.

"Yeah," you said with as reassuring a smile as you could conjure.

"I love you more than anything. You know that right?" Jessie said as she leaned over the center console in your car and gave you a sweet kiss. You nodded. "Okay," she said softly as she grabbed the keys. "And nudge me and text me if you get overwhelmed and want to leave at any point. Okay?"

"Yes," you breathed as patiently as you could. Her offer was considerate, but it seemed to just emphasize that you were fragile and that - as she'd told her ex - you were struggling. You'd be damned if you gave an admission of weakness today.

You two got out of the car and Jessie held your hand as you made your way to the entrance of the pop-up fair. You looked idly around and tried to take deep, but subtle breaths, as your heart steadily began to pound louder and faster in your chest.

You watched Jessie out of the corner of your eye and saw when a small smile crossed her face. She began to wave.

You followed her gaze to see a woman and a young child standing alongside the path. Your eyes fell to who must've been Sara. She was unfortunately beautiful and it made your insides churn. Between Jessie's good looks and this woman's, no wonder Zoie was so cute.

You hated it. And you hated yourself for even thinking it.

Soon your eyes fell to Zoie. She smiled ear to ear upon seeing Jessie and looked up to Sara for silent permission before running towards Jessie.

You made sure to smile, but beyond that you weren't really aware of what you were doing or how you were acting. You were so transfixed on how Jessie shot you a quick smile and squeezed your hand before releasing you and embracing Zoie, lifting her up with an exaggerated groan and placing her on her hip.

"Oh my gosh, are you taller than last week? You seem it," Jessie joked as she kissed Zoie's cheek, pulling a laugh out of the little girl. "You must've been eating your veggies all week, then."

"Ew," Zoie laughed as she turned back to Sara.

"She hasn't been so bad," Sara said conspiratorially as she approached, pinching Zoie's cheek playfully as she spoke to her daughter. "Hey honey? Not since I told you you need to eat your veggies if you want to be big and strong like mama Jessie."

You almost fucking choked.

'Mama'? 'Mama Jessie'? Jessie had severely neglected to tell you she held such titles already and it made you sick to your stomach.

"Hey, Zo, I have someone that I'm really excited for you to meet," Jessie cut in with a broad smile as she angled her body towards you. "Zoie, this is my fiancée, Y/N."

You tried to rally and refocus. You smiled and gave her a wave.

"Hi Zoie, it's so nice to meet you," you greeted. She tucked her head into Jessie a bit and gave you a shy smile and raised her hand in a small wave. "I really like your shirt," you offered warmly as you pointed to it. She laughed shyly, her cheeks growing pink so much like Jessie's would.

"Oh yeah, cute puppies," Jessie agreed as she gave a gentle poke on the cartoon image on her daughter's shirt.

"Mommy got it for me yesterday because she said we can't have a real puppy," Zoie explained with a bit of a pout.

"Yeah?" Jessie laughed. "Were you asking for one?"

"Our neighbour got a new puppy and I got to play with him. I really want one," she answered.

"Well, listen to your mom for now. A puppy's a lot of responsibility. Maybe someday you can have one," Jessie replied.

'Mom'. When Jessie said that to her kid, it was supposed to be about you. That was supposed to be your kid on her hip that she was looking at so adoringly. But it wasn't.

Your eyes flicked over to Sara who was laughing at the whole exchange and you just felt like your chest was turning inside out. You tried to ignore your pulse pounding in your head.

Zoie still looked disappointed, but less so and eventually hope filled her eyes.

"Can you get one? Then maybe that means I can play with it too," she asked Jessie with a grin. Jessie laughed and looked at you; you immediately caught yourself and slapped a smile on your face.

"I'm afraid not," she replied, amused. "A puppy's too much responsibility even for us."

Zoie was watching you curiously now.

"I like your hair," she said quietly.

"Oh," you said in surprise, your hand coming up and tucking it behind your ear self-consciously. "Thank you. That's very kind of you. I bet you get compliments on your hair all the time. It's very nice." You steeled yourself. "Just like your mama's."

She giggled, burying herself further into Jessie's arms.

"She's been so excited to meet you," Sara said as she walked around and held out her hand with a smile. "I'm Sara. It's really nice to meet you."

You smiled at the woman who was stealing your future wife away from you. Someone who Jessie chose to fuck freely - recklessly, irresponsibly - and knocked up, forever skewing your paths forward.

You shook her hand.

"Hi. I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, too."

"So. Want to head in?" Jessie asked as she set Zoie down. The girl nodded enthusiastically. Jessie gave an exaggerated gesture of her head towards the gates. "Let's get going then."

Jessie looked at you, smiling affectionately as she took your hand. Still, you could see the way she keenly gauged you despite her easy going air. She was nervous about you. What you were thinking, what you were feeling.

Rightfully so. Because right now you just wanted to grab the keys out of her pocket and drive as far away from here as you could.

Instead, you held her hand and walked alongside her.

As the four of you explored the grounds and activities, it became obvious to you how comfortable the three of them were together. Sure, Sara and Jessie were a bit awkward, but much more comfortable than you'd expected. It had only been a couple of months, but the three of them - in your opinion - looked like an honest to God family.

And it fucking hurt.

You tried to stay engaged and to be open and positive, but you couldn't help but feel so...other. Like a spare. You felt out of place. Like you were intruding. It's like you were suddenly transplanted into another life or reality. This couldn't possibly be your life.

You could see how Jessie tried to involve you. You'd wondered if she'd behave differently with Sara there, but she didn't. She was affectionate and sweet and it was one small reprieve in this sea of hurt and uncertainty.

Hell, as much as you wanted to despise Sara, you couldn't deny she was open and inviting towards you.

Although, you guess you'd be feeling pretty confident too if you swooped in and usurped a five-year relationship.

Despite your efforts, a cloud of realization fell further and further over you that this was some kind of newly restored natural order. If Sara had realized sooner that she was pregnant, maybe Jessie wouldn't have gone to London. Or even if she went, maybe Sara would've gone with her and, maybe, in time, they would've fallen in love.

Regardless, this - two parents enjoying a local fair with their kid - is exactly what their life would've been. You, on the other hand, wouldn't be here.

The only reason you were in Portland was because of Jessie. Because she came to London you met and fell in love. The way your love had grown and how your relationship has deepened, it felt too good to be true.

Well. Maybe it was. Maybe it was never truly meant to be.

At some point, Sara was in the washroom and Jessie was retrieving an order of food from a kiosk, leaving you and Zoie sitting together, holding the table.

"Do you have kids?" Zoie asked as she swung her legs back and forth on the bench seat. You blinked momentarily in confusion, but smiled out of habit.

"Me? No," you said, hating how your tone dipped in disappointment. You cleared your throat. "No kids." Zoie seemed to contemplate this.

"Okay. Mommy said you didn't. So, I guess I don't have any siblings. But I didn't think I had a mama and now I do. But if you and mama have a kid then I'll have a sister or brother, right?" She asked, looking up at you with her big, dark eyes. You forced yourself to maintain your smile and banish any waves of sadness that threatened you.

"That's right, sweetie," you said softly. She smiled quietly.

"I think I'd really like to have a little brother or sister someday."

Your smile cracked momentarily and you found yourself looking over your shoulder to seek out Jessie. You found her easily; you always did. But when you'd normally smile subconsciously just at the mere sighting of her, now your stomach felt heavy with uncertainty.

You smiled at Zoie again.

"We'll see, I guess."

It felt like a lie. Jessie and you had always agreed that you'd have kids together someday, but it felt like that had been ripped out from beneath your feet. It was like she'd jumped ahead, leagues ahead of you and you were now all alone with this empty dream.

In time, you and Jessie bid Sara and Zoie goodbye, the little girl even giving you a quick hug around your legs before returning to her mother's side.

Jessie tried valiantly to not push too much on the drive home, but she couldn't hide her keen interest in deciphering your takeaways and feelings. She was so hopeful and earnest and, well, you felt ashamed for being anything less than happy.

Zoie was legitimately sweet and so cute. She was lovely. And above all, was clearly thrilled to have a new parent in her life. Who wouldn't be thrilled to have Jessie in their life?

And try as you might to detest Sara, there was nothing outwardly horrible about her. You know, other than she held the space and role in Jessie's life that should've been yours. You had to fend off a pang of jealousy any time she smiled and laughed with Jessie over Zoie.

Truth was, you felt conflicted. Out of sorts. It wasn't that you didn't like Zoie. You did. It was just...everything. And at some point, Jessie's eagerness felt oppressive and smothering. Like today was supposed to be some magical moment that would resolve and rectify everything. It felt like you weren't allowed to still feel upset.

Eventually, your lack of enthusiastic validation got to her and soon you were on the couch with a show on, but with neither of you paying attention. Now you were both sullen and withdrawn.

Jessie fidgeted on the couch and was texting rapidly back and forth with someone. You could see out of the corner of your eye it was Janine. You couldn't help yourself.

"Talking about me?" You challenged.

Jessie took a calming breath and gave you a slow stare.

"Go on. Tell me what you're saying to her about me," you pushed, voice prim and hoity.

She exhaled. "I'm just telling her how the day went."

You chuckled dryly. "I bet your recollection to her is different than what you told me," you said with a grin that didn't reach your eyes.

"Why are you being like this?" Jessie asked, frustration creeping into her voice.

"I just want to know what you really thought," you carried on undeterred. You held out your hand for her phone. "Let's see."

You never demanded things like this before. You didn't used to be distrustful or hostile either. But, everything was different now.

"Oh my God," she muttered irritably under her breath as she discretely rolled her eyes and pushed her phone into your hand rather firmly. She sank deeper into the couch and crossed her arms. "Go ahead," she said in a flat tone.

You smirked smugly, though you felt unhappy. You scrolled up to the start of their conversation and took a deep breath as you started to read.

While you felt self-righteous moments before, as you read through their conversation, that too-familiar pit in your stomach grew heavier.

You weren't sure why you were expecting to see negative messages from Jessie about you - she'd never said bad things about you before. And sure enough, she placed no blame on you. Instead, you saw her talk about how great you were today. How sweet you were to Zoie. That Zoie was shy at first, but took a liking to you and even asked her when she could come visit you two at the apartment.

Instead, you saw her express disappointment in herself because despite all of that, you were hurting. She just couldn't seem to manage to do anything other than hurt you lately. Her disappointment in how she failed to navigate this better. To make it easier for you.

Then, worse, her own upset. That she felt helpless in a way. She told Janine how you said she ruined your life, and when she sees you hurting she can't help but wonder if maybe she did. It's difficult and confusing hating herself for that, but at the same time loving Zoie and hating feeling like she needs to apologize for having her. She didn't want to feel guilty or ashamed of having her. It felt like she needed to apologize for Zoie's existence, but she doesn't want to do that. And she can't tell you any of this because you've already supported her so much and made so many concessions for her. You had enough to worry about and to manage. You didn't need to worry about her too.

You looked over at her with misty eyes.

"You didn't ruin my life, Jess," you said quietly.

She looked at you, but didn't respond. You carried on.

"And you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed of Zoie. She doesn't deserve that at all," you added. Jessie simply gave a nod of acceptance.

"I'm angry about things and I'm hurt, but, none of this is directed at her. Please. It's just been...a lot for me to adjust to."

"I know, baby," Jessie said as she took your hand and kissed the back of it. "I appreciate everything you're doing more than you'll ever know."

A heavy silence fell over you two. Jessie's head was down and she stroked the back of your hand as she held it in both of hers. When she spoke, her voice was small and she was too afraid to meet your gaze.

"Do you still love me?"

Love wasn't the question. Love wasn't the issue. The question was, is love enough? And to that, you didn't know the answer.

Still. You squeezed her hand.

"Of course."

A/N: Tag request - @valuyhh

[wordsmeetwbb]

Embrace

Word count: 1.2k

Content: fluff!

Pairing: Paige x Teammate!Reader

Note: First fic! I'm new to writing so I hope this is good!

It was Friday night and the team was gathered in Paige’s apartment for some team bonding. Somebody had given KK control of the music, Jana was in the kitchen playing bartender for everyone, and you had already had enough alcohol to feel loose and warm.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” KK shrieked. You giggled and dropped down onto the couch next to Paige. She looked good. She wore basketball shorts low on her hips, a cropped tank top showing off her abs, and her hair was slicked back into that low bun that drove you crazy. Your eyes dragged up her body as you settled further into your spot on the sofa. You knew you should be a little more discreet, but the drinks in your system had shifted your priorities.

“Whatcha lookin’ at ma?” Your face flushed with warmth.

“Nothing. I wasn’t looking,” you mumbled quickly, eyes catching on Paige’s smirk. The two of you had been dancing around each other for weeks. Paige would flirt with you, call you ma and baby and sweetheart, you would purposely sit a little closer to her than you had to, let your hands linger on her back a little too long during practice, and then you would both pretend the tension between you didn’t exist.

“If you say so,” Paige murmured. Her legs were stretched out, knees wider than was decent, and you had to force yourself to look away, pulling your attention back to KK, who was already handing out a ridiculous dare to poor, unsuspecting Morgan. You tried your best to pay attention, but suddenly there was the warmth of an arm around your shoulders. You snuck a glance at Paige. She appeared to be locked in on the game being played, but you knew better. The slight smirk on her face as her fingers dragged over your shoulder gave her away.

Half of you knew it would be better to pull away, go get another drink, laugh it off, do anything that would give you an excuse to get out of it. The other half was practically purring in contentment. The second half won easily.

You shifted back into Paige’s embrace, tilting your head to look at her. She glanced at you.

“Comfy?” She asked, fingers tracing shapes over your exposed skin. You nodded, moving your body further into her. She hadn’t touched you this freely before, without an excuse or made-up reason. It was intoxicating. Now you were pressed into Paige’s side, legs curled up beneath yourself, one arm slunk behind Paige’s back, your shoulders nestled snugly under her arm. Paige kept tracing those delicious shapes over your skin with one hand, the other sliding over to rest on your knees.

“Yo, Paige, are you gonna play the game or-” Kk stopped abruptly as she took in the sight of the two of you. Your face flushed as you started to extricate yourself from Paige’s embrace, but she tightened her grip on you, preventing your escape.

“Skip me. I’ll just watch,” Paige told KK. You could feel too many pairs of eyes on you, the entire team noticing how close you and Paige were sitting. Neither of you had exactly been subtle with your flirting the past few weeks, but this was different. Softer. It felt private.

“Sure, yeah. Of course. You both skipping your turn?”

“Yeah. Skip us,” Paige answered for you. You shifted back into her in thanks. Everyone’s attention quickly moved back to the game as KK asked Azzi about her worst kiss, laughter breaking out as she described it.

“You okay, ma?” Paige whispered into your ear.

“Yeah. Didn’t like them all looking,” you whispered back. Paige’s fingers spread out on your knees and you relaxed into her.

“Hey, we’re all good. I gotchu baby.” You knew she did. It’s not that you wanted to hide anything from the team, it was just new and you didn't want to be judged.

“I know. Thank you.” You tilted your head so you could really look at Paige. Her eyes glinted as she looked at you and the expression on her face was so devastatingly soft you didn’t even know what to say. Paige’s hand came up to your face, thumb dragging down your bottom lip teasingly. You couldn’t look away, eyes darting from her lips to her eyes and back.

“Look so pretty for me, baby,” Paige murmured. You blushed, nestling your head into Paige’s neck. If you kept looking at her, you were going to do something that shouldn’t be done in a room full of your teammates. But God did you want to kiss her. Paige chuckled, hand returning to its spot on your shoulder and resuming drawing circles on your skin.

You could feel Paige’s eyes on your body as she stroked your skin, but you closed your eyes and sunk into the feeling. You didn’t want to know if your teammates were sneaking glances at you. They could just wonder what was going on. You weren’t about to worry about giving them any answers tonight. The sparks where Paige’s skin met yours deserved all of your attention.

She was whispering things into your ear, you knew she was, but between being drunk off her touch and more than a little tipsy from the alcohol, you had no idea what any of the words were. Paige’s hand that was on your knee had migrated to your thigh, brushing up and down the soft skin, drifting just a little higher than it maybe should have. You didn’t care.

“Feels good,” you mumbled into Paige’s neck. Usually, Paige would have made some sassy, overconfident remark, but she just pulled you closer, hands still dragging back and forth. The sounds of your teammates yelling and laughing faded as you inhaled deeply, letting yourself sink into Paige. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew getting out of this position was going to be awkward, that your teammates would tease you and Paige about this for weeks, but you let that fade away into nothing. Your usually racing mind was blanketed in the sensations of Paige’s touch, her perfume, and the words she was still murmuring to you softly.

You must have drifted off at some point, even with the noise of the room, because when you woke up it was just you and Paige in the living room. You felt your face warm as you looked up at her to find her eyes already focused on your face.

“Hi baby,” she whispered. You were in uncharted territory here, but you just let your head fall back against her neck.

“Hi,” you sighed happily. Paige laughed.

“Everybody else left a little bit ago but you were out cold and you looked so comfy. You can go now if you want though,” Paige said softly.

“If I want?”

“Or you can stay. Just to sleep, I swear.” If you weren’t so attuned to Paige’s expressions you never would have noticed, but there was just a hint of nervousness on her face. You softened.

“Let’s go to sleep, Paige,” you said. Her face broke out in a grin. She scooped you up in her arms bridal style, rising off the couch to carry you to her bedroom. You giggled as she placed you carefully on her bed, climbing in after you. Her arms came around you, pulling you back into her body. You let your body relax, sighing out as you snuggled back into her embrace.

“Goodnight, Paige,” you whispered. Paige just pressed a kiss to the back of your neck in response. It was the last thing you felt before you were deep in the best sleep of your life.

[cobaltperun]

Jerks With Hearts of Gold - Property Damage

SMUT! Bottom Tara Carpenter x Top Female Reader

Request: Tara Carpenter x Female Reader

Summary: Tara's reckless habit bites you in the ass before you can finish.

Masterlist / Side story of this request

Word count: 2.5k

It started as a cute, albeit a bit reckless habit, one you somehow managed to silently encourage. It was cute and you had too much faith in your rented apartment's furniture.

You came back one night from a date, surprised that you actually managed to get an entire night just for you and Tara without having to do elaborate plans to keep your relationship a secret from Sam and Tara's friends. Well, you figured they were also your friends now. Either way, Sam allowed you and Tara to hang out, fooled by the essay Tara and you had to write for your class.

Okay, fooled wasn't the right word here. The essay did exist, and the deadline was approaching, but you didn't even touch it tonight. And Tara made some excuse that the essay was long, and it would be more practical for her to spend the night. And Sam, being completely oblivious to all the things you and Tara have been doing over the past months, agreed to that.

She actually got fooled by this pretend-we-hate-each-other bullshit, so you felt no regrets.

Tara went straight into your bedroom and threw herself at your bed, doing the infamous Tara Bomb she's been doing even before you got together. She would just drop down on the poor bed again and again, and it stood strong for months.

When you came into the bedroom, seeing as you weren't a lunatic with a ridiculous habit of assaulting your own bed and thus felt no need to rush in, you saw Tara looking a bit concerned.

"Everything okay?" you asked, sitting down behind her and wrapping your arm around her waist.

Tara seemed relieved all of a sudden. "Oh, no, nothing. Just feel a bit guilty over constantly jumping on your bed," bullshit, Tara would never. "It would be a lot more worth it if I landed on you," okay, maybe not bullshit.

"You really want to ride me, don't you?" you teased as she turned around and straddled your lap, kissing you slowly.

"Mhm," she agreed and nipped your ear. Her hands immediately digging into your hair, messing it up as she pushed her body against you. "It's been too long,"

"It's been a week," you teased her, though you were already pulling her shirt up to take it off.

"Too long," she breathed out, leaning back just enough to let you take her shirt and bra off, while she did the same to you. Her nipples were already hard. "Baby, I'm so, oh-" you couldn't resist, not that you even tried, you leaned down and sucked her nipple into your warm mouth while kneading the other breast. "I'm so wet and ready for you," she began grinding slowly, just enough to tease herself.

"Yeah, go on then," you patted her ass and she got up, guiding your hands from her breast and ass to the belt of her jeans. She looked down into your eyes as you took her belt off and pulled her against you. You eyes filled with intense desire as you kissed her right above the waist band of her jeans.

Tara took a deep breath, pushing her jeans and panties down, urging you to strip her naked as you went lower with every inch of skin she revealed until you kissed her right above her pussy. She could see the satisfied grin on your face as you slipped a finger through her folds, making her lean on you as your touch still caught her by surprise and she felt desperate.

"Definitely wet," you licked your finger clean and pulled away, leaning back on the bed and taking what remained of your own clothes off. Tara could tease you as well, she climbed onto the bed, her back turned to you as she knelt there, on her hands and knees.

"You want me like this?" she asked, spreading her legs and enticing you to just take her already. You were going to drive her crazy with all the teasing.

You moved until you were behind her, taking in the view, and Tara blushed. The way you were looking at her, like she was the most beautiful sight you will ever see, just turned her on more. "You're going to drive me insane," you whispered.

"That's my line. Fuck, just touch me already!" she pleaded, desperately wanting to feel your touch.

Finally, you placed your hand on her lower back and began sliding it down, slowly moving from her back, over her ass. "Maybe you should tell me how wet you are," your slowly rubbed her pussy, spreading her wet pussy lips and asking her to tell you something you could already feel yourself.

"Mhm, bet you could put it in me right away, that's how wet I am for you," she gave you what you wanted, turned on by this. By showing you how much you turned her on, how much she wanted you. And the fact that you wanted her just as badly only increased the pleasure and happiness she felt.

"I'd rather get a taste first," you leaned down and licked her from behind and she barely kept her arms from buckling underneath her as she gasped. Your thumb found her clit and Tara felt heat coursing through her entire body. Each touch of your tongue and fingers, the steady hand on her inner thigh, it made her even wetter, made it even easier for your finger to occasionally penetrate her.

"Y/N," she gasped, all she could feel was you, your touch, and it felt so good.

"You taste so good," you hummed, your voce sending vibrations through her clit and making her drop her head down onto your pillow, and Tara could only mumble 'please' as you continued eating her out. "So needy and wet for me."

"I've told you al-" just as she spoke up you pushed your tongue inside her pussy, making her cry out in pleasure. "fuck I'm gonna cum already!" you've gotten way too good at fucking her, way too good at knowing exactly what to do to have her shake from the pleasure. You sucked on her clit while fingering her with two of your fingers and she came with a loud, broken cry of your name.

You watched her, her body shaking as she buried her face in the pillow, her knees barely keeping her ass up as you went and put the harness and a strap on on, and you slowly caressed her thighs and ass. Tara moaned, she's always loved these light touches between orgasms, just light displays of love as your hands stopped at her hips, an unspoken promise shared between you of what was to come.

"Fuck, give me more!" she demanded, in usual Tara fashion, wanting more immediately after cumming. "Fuck that damn strap into my pussy," she groaned into the pillow, needy and bossy at the same time.

"So bossy," you teased her as your hands moved from her hips, up her sides as the tip of your strap rubbed against the opening of her pussy.

"Fuck yeah I'm bossy," she turned around, her eyes filled with lust. "You've spoiled me," she confessed as you pulled the strap away made her whine again. "Just take me already!"

"Turn around," you ordered, lust and desire consuming her, and Tara immediately did as she was told, and even spread her legs wide. And something in you might have cracked when she reached down and spread her pussy for you. And if you even had the slightest intention to tease her it all went out the window as she reached down with her other hand and tugged at the belts of the strap harness.

"Yeah? You want me like this?" she knew she was getting exactly what she wanted as you leaned over her and pushed the strap inside her wet pussy, and it slid right into her. "Finally!" Tara cried out, her fingers digging into your hip and back as you began thrusting into her.

You set just the pace Tara loved, not too gentle, but not rough either, steadily thrusting into her as she met each of your thrusts with the same intensity, lost in the pleasure and the heat of your naked bodies pressed together.

"Just like that," she hissed, as you found the perfect angle and she arched her back, her nails digging deeper into your skin as she wrapped her legs around you. She reached up, tilting your head up so she could kiss you, and you opened your mouth, letting her slip her tongue inside it, letting her control the kiss as you fucked her.

You couldn't think of anything that could quite compare to this, to making love to the love of your life, to seeing her drop all her defense mechanisms and just let go. She trusted you completely, with her pleasure, and her safety as she gave you all of her.

"Y/N," she whined, clutching you tighter, wanting you deeper, closer. "Y/N," she kept moaning your name, increasingly more desperate as you slipped your hand between the two of you and found her clit.

"I know, Baby," you kissed her neck softly, gently sucking on the side of it.

"I need you so much, need to be yours," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly and giving you yet another sign she was close. "I'm close," she whispered, tossing her head back and baring her neck to you as you dragged your upper lip down from her chin and then lightly bit the spot where her neck and shoulder met, leaving a barely noticeable mark that the clothes and light make-up would cover.

"Cum for me, Tara," you rubbed her clit a bit harder, feeling her legs lock around your hips. "Good girl," you knew that would push her over the edge even faster. "Taking me so well."

"Oh, fuck!" nothing short of completely stopping would have stopped Tara's orgasm now. And you were so damn close as well, just a bit more. A few more thrusts and you'd cum together with Tara and you buried your face in her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent as she moaned in your ear.

"Y/N!" she cried out, cumming hard around your strap, squirting slightly, and you immediately pulled out, halting your own orgasm for a moment, and the look on Tara's face promised you that she would get you over the edge, as soon as she recovered just a bit.

"I've got you," you hugged her and kissed her neck as she continued breathing heavily, slowly getting her breathing under control like every time you pushed her to two orgasms.

And then it happened. You put your arm on the wrong spot on the bed and it just collapsed, tilting forward underneath you as the wooden frame cracked and broke, leaving both you and Tara surprised.

"Are you okay?" you immediately asked Tara and she nodded, her eyes wide and the look on her face actually a hilarious mixture of shock, shame and holding back her laugh. "What the fuck?" you asked, looking around you and at the broken bed underneath you and Tara.

"Might be my fault," Tara admitted sheepishly and you blinked a few times, suddenly realizing exactly what she was talking about. The Tara Bombs.

"Good thing it didn't break while I was still inside you," you laughed and that settled it for Tara as well, as she hugged you, pulling you back down on the broken bed, her laughter mixing with your own. And just as you stopped laughing the bottom of the bed fell as well and you were sent into another burst of uncontrollable laughter.

When you finally calmed down you pulled her closer, intending to lift her up and go to the living room. And while doing so her still rather sensitive pussy rubbed against the strap you were still wearing and she whined.

"Sorry," you kissed and held her close, knowing she got really sensitive when she came twice. That was why you immediately pulled out instead of chasing the orgasm that only a few thrusts away.

"It's more than okay," not that Tara minded, as long as you didn't touch her pussy for a few minutes after the second orgasm. "Doubt you'll be able to carry me, though," she laughed lightly, and that would have been true even if you didn't just spend so much energy making love to the girl in your arms.

"Just means you'll have to walk," you joined in and helped her off the broken bed. "Guess we're sleeping on the couch," you said and took the strap off to clean it after you recover.

Tara took your hand and pulled you with her to the living room, still naked and with nothing but a bedsheet, blanket and a pillow in your arms. The two of you made the temporary bed since there was no way you'd be going to Tara's apartment at this hour and Tara snuggled up to you.

"You didn't finish," she pointed out and you shrugged, you were close, but the bed breaking underneath you kind of ruined that plan.

"I can live with that," you assured her, but she had another idea on her mind as she kissed you and then went down, blazing the path from your lips to your pussy with her lips and soft kisses. "Tara," you moaned softly. She didn't need to do this, but damn, you were close, and you'd definitely appreciate it.

"Just relax for me," Tara said, her lips wrapping around your clit as she gently sucked and fuck, you really were close.

"Relaxing," you shut your eyes closed and just gave into the feeling as she put just as much passion into getting you to cum as you did when you were making her feel good. And between her efforts and your body just responding to her you quickly reached your orgasm, moaning her name as Tara once more kissed the same path, only in reverse.

"I love you," she said, snuggling into you once more, and you just took a moment to process everything, to take in the rare moment of vulnerability from Tara shown by those three words.

"I love you too," you kissed her and hugged her tightly, drawing small circles on her bare back, just the way she liked it. "I really don't want to get up though," you groaned after a couple of minutes.

"You'll let me shower alone?" Tara teased as she got up and went to your bathroom, and well, when she puts it like that.

"Hell no, you'll use up all the warm water!" you exclaimed, jumping in right after her and pulling her back against you.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that's your reason," she rolled her eyes and you just kissed her shoulder before turning the water on.

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ like you hate me ] e. edwards

day 7 of kinktober (hate sex w/ ethan edwards)

paring : Ethan Edwards x fem!reader

summary : she can’t stand ethan, but she knows there is tension between them that she can’t ignore anymore when they collide at a party

warning(s) : smut ! rough / hate sex, p in v, protected sex, nicknames during sex, begging, mentions of alcohol, light alcohol consumption

author’s note : i couldn’t wait to get to this one bc i had so many ideas hehe

kinktober schedule

༺──────────────༻

She shouldn't be here, but she let her friends talk her into coming to the party. Hockey parties don't usually end well for her whenever she does decide to attend them.

Especially if she runs into him.

Ethan Edwards is the bane of her existence and the biggest pain in her ass. He has the biggest ego she's ever seen on a hockey player, and he's had it for all four years that she's known him. He likes to mess with her during classes they have together and distract her from keeping her solid 3.8 GPA. He likes to mess with her in passing and make jokes every time he sees her. He even makes her job as the hockey team’s social media admin very difficult and she’s growing tired of it.

Maybe she won’t even run into him. She can avoid him in his own house. It won’t be that hard with every girl throwing herself at him and distracting him from the fact that she’s there.

The hockey house is off campus in a suburban area of Ann Arbor about 15 minutes away from main campus. It’s already crawling with partygoers when she pulls up in an Uber about an hour after the party was scheduled to start. Music blasts from every open door and window and she questions how they haven’t gotten cited yet for loud noise.

Inside is so crowded she can barely walk. She squeezes past multiple athletes from different sports in the foyer as she makes her way to the kitchen to get something to drink. If she’s going to be in the same building as Ethan then she needs to have a little alcohol in her system. God knows what’s going to happen and what words are going to be exchanged if their paths cross.

In the kitchen stands three of Ethan’s closest friends. All with an arm around some girl. Luca is the first to notice her walk into the room. He immediately smiles at the sight.

"Holy shit," he laughs. "She makes an appearance. I can't believe it. I thought you would never show your face at a hockey house party."

She shrugs while she makes herself a drink with cheap vodka and a mixer. "I was coerced into coming," she tells him. She looks up at Luca, Mark, and TJ. She sips her drink. "Where's your friend? Hiding upstairs in his room hopefully?"

Mark laughs and shakes his head. "He's around," he replies. "Last I saw him, he was out back playing cup pong with Duker, Moldy and Schiffer."

"Now I can avoid the back," she says with a smile. "Thanks."

All three of them laugh as she turns and leaves the room. She makes her way into the living room. Her friends sit on the couch so she sits on the arm of the chair next to the person she'd consider her best friend. She leans back and sips from her cup.

People come in and out of the room constantly, but she loves being able to see everyone and socialize with whoever does come into the room. She talks to people she hasn't seen or spoken to in a little bit.

She's laughing at something her friend said when she watches the one person she didn't want to see walk into the room with Luca and Mark. They better not have snitched on her to him or she will make sure they hate the Monday Question next week.

Ethan's eyes land on her and she quickly averts her eyes. She looks at her friend and pretends to be invested in the conversation so maybe Ethan won't walk over and bother her.

Except, that plan fails. Before she knows it, Ethan is standing in front of her. He has the smuggest of smirks on his face when he approaches her.

“A little birdie told me that you were trying to avoid me, princess” he tells her. “Is that true?”

She could kill Luca, Mark, and TJ for snitching on her.

“So what if I was?” she questions as she crosses her arms over her chest. “And I’ve told you to stop calling me princess.”

“You’re in my house, princess,” Ethan retorts with a grin on his face and emphasizing the word ‘princess’ just to annoy her even more. “You don’t get to ignore me in my house, and I can do whatever I want because it is my house.”

“Says who?” she asks. “I can ignore whoever I want, their house or not. You're annoying and I like your roommates better anyway."

Ethan quiets down but he doesn't take his eyes off of her. She doesn't back down either. She holds her ground because she doesn't want him to think he's won. That's the last thing that she wants so she holds eye contact with him until he speaks again. Her heart pounds in her chest as she stands her ground.

A smile breaks out on his lips and she falters for a very quick second. "I knew you had a crush on one of my roommates," Ethan says. "Which one? Luca? Mark? I hate to break it to you, but Mark has a girlfriend. So does Hughesy. Oh my God. Do you have a thing for a guy who has a girlfriend? That's a little pathetic if you ask me."

She rolls her eyes, her blood beginning to boil after his comment. "You're such an asshole, Ethan," she tells him.

She then gets up out of her seat and walks upstairs to hide in one of the bathrooms for a few minutes while she cools down.

If someone were to ask her why she was so upset, she would say that she honestly has no idea. Something about Ethan Edwards just heats her blood. He riles her up, and it could be the smallest thing that does it too.

All he did was mess with her, and she's ready to punch him in the face. She's always ready to punch him in the face though, but it's often not because she's angry at him. Sometimes it's because he's genuinely one of the most attractive people she's ever seen. Just his face alone is enough to send her into a bad mood.

If Ethan wasn’t a massive pain in her ass, she probably would’ve hooked up with him by now. Maybe it’s what she’s wanted all along and the reason why she hates him so much. He’s infuriating, but he’s hot. It’s a dangerous combination, especially for her.

She splashes water on her face to cool down and does her best to fix up the makeup that came off with the water. It’s not a lot thanks to the inventor of waterproof makeup but it still runs just a little bit.

A knock rings through the bathroom and she calls, “One second!” There’s a second knock and she groans. “Do you not know what one second mea-” She freezes when she sees Ethan on the other side of the door as soon as she swings it open. “Oh, great. Just the person I want to see. Go away, Ethan.”

“I may have crossed a line,” he says as he rubs the back of his neck.

“You just keep adding on to the list of what you think I am, don’t you?” she retorts. “Annoying, nerdy, clingy, and now I’m pathetic despite not having a thing for a single one of your roommates, especially not the ones who are in relationships. Making that comment in front of everyone was embarrassing. Even for you.”

Ethan just nods and looks at her. “I know that,” he tells her. “It wasn’t until you walked away and Luca told me that what I said was wrong that I realized that I crossed the line.”

She runs her fingers through her wavy locks and lets out a soft sigh. “This wouldn’t be an issue if I just-” She cuts herself off from what she was about to say.

There’s tension. There’s been tension. She ignores it like it’s going to go away on it’s own but the innuendos and jokes have made it thicker than it’s ever been. It’s getting harder and harder to ignore it. Maybe if she just-

“Just what?” Ethan questions. She meets his eyes and finds confusion in them.

Do it. Get it over with.

Before she can talk herself out of it, she cups his jaw and pulls him down into a bruising kiss. Ethan has to take a little step toward her due to how hard she pulls him down to her.

He immediate pulls away in surprise. She stares up at him, but she doesn’t move her hands. Her eyes flicker between his like she’s searching for rejection, but that’s the one thing she doesn’t find. She finds deliberation and confusion.

Just in case he needs a little shove, she says, “We have been doing this whole back and forth thing for nearly four years, Ethan. You have to be as tired of it as I am. I feel the tension that’s grown so I’m sure you can to. This is the one and only time I’m offering this to you so we can just fuck it out and maybe end whatever feud thing that we’ve had going on. Worst comes to worst then we have a nice hookup and we can move on with our lives. Best case scenario, we get it out of our systems and we can actually be friends because-”

“Do you ever shut the fuck up, princess?” Ethan asks to cut her off.

She isn’t able to make a comeback because Ethan’s lips are back on hers before she can respond. He’s kissing her with the same intensity that she originally kissed him with.

His hands fall to her waist and he pulls her body flush against his chest. She feels every muscle flex underneath his thin shirt as he makes little movements to adjust to her height. She’s half a head shorter than he is so he has to make some adjustments to kiss her without breaking his neck. Eventually, he gives up and leans down to lift her up. She wraps her legs around his waist and slides her fingers into his hair.

Ethan turns and walks out of the bathroom. Luckily the hallway is dark so if anyone were to see them, they would think it’s just two people making out at a party. The door is kicked shut and her back is pinned to it. A soft thud is heard when her back makes contact with the wood. She hums when her skin hits the cool surface.

She kicks off her heels and they land on the carpeted floor with soft thuds. Ethan stands holding her back against the door for a second before he turns and walks toward his bed.

In the handful of times she’s had to come into this room, it’s been organized and in order. She gets a glance when the kiss breaks after he drops her on the mattress and finds it’s still very organized and in order. She would’ve never guessed that Ethan is one to keep things clean in his room.

Ethan kicks off his shoes before he climbs over her and hovers above her body. She immediately pulls him back into a hot kiss. He hums and a hand lands on her thigh. The already short black dress rides up her thigh until it rests right under her ass. His fingers follow the fabric up her leg. He grips her thigh and she gasps.

Her fingers slide down his back until they reach the hem of his Michigan hockey t-shirt. She tugs at it to hint that she wants him to take it off. Ethan listens to her signal and sits back on his knees, breaking the kiss. She watches as he pulls the fabric over his head.

Now, she’s seen him shirtless on numerous occasions. There have been times where she’s seen him in nothing but his boxers, but she’s always looked away. Right now, she gets to look. She takes full advantage of the moment and studies every part of his torso and chest. Ethan’s never been the biggest guy in the room, but his body is so toned. She could combust just from the view she has right now.

She gets her hands on him as fast as she can. Her hands start on his torso, tracing his abs before they trail up and over his chest. Ethan’s hands rest on hers when they reach his shoulders. He pulls her up so she’s sitting up with him between her knees. Their chests are flush against each other and she’s looking up at him.

Ethan hooks his fingers under the thin straps of the little black dress. He tugs them off her shoulders and she pulls her arms out of the straps. She keeps her eyes on Ethan as he pulls the top of her dress over her boobs. He gnaws on his bottom lips when he sees her tits.

“Fuck, princess,” he groans. “You hid these from me this entire time?”

“You never asked to see them,” she tells him. Ethan moves his hands to cup her bare tits. “Probably would’ve showed you if you asked, E.”

He grins and pushes her until she’s lying on her back. He leans down and wraps his lips around one of her nipples. She hums at the feeling. Ethan’s other hand gropes her other boob. He bites down on her bottom lip. She runs her fingers through his hair.

After what feels like seconds later, Ethan begins to kiss down her chest and stomach. He pulls the dress down as he lowers himself down her body. She lifts her butt up so he can get the dress off. It hits the floor and she presses her lips into a line as Ethan drinks her in.

Her hands slide between them and she works on getting Ethan’s pants off. She pushes his pants off his body and he kicks them to the floor. She gets a hand on the bulge in his boxers, palming him over the thin fabric. He snakes a hand into her lace panties. She hums at the feeling of his fingers cupping her sex.

She grinds her core against his fingers trying to get some pressure. She presses her lips into a line as she pleasures herself on his hand. Ethan slips a finger into her and she gasps at the new feeling. "Oh my God," she breathes out. "Warn a girl next time."

Ethan smiles and attaches his lips to her jaw. "We'll see," he mumbles against her skin.

Slowly, he works her toward an orgasm. A knot forms in the pit of her stomach like it always does when she's close to an orgasm. Soft groans pass her lips when Ethan adds a second finger. "I- fuck," she pants. "Ethan, Eddy. Please."

"Please what, princess?" Ethan asks.

"Fuck me like you hate me," she tells him. "Please. Please fuck me, E."

He pulls back and looks at her. His fingers stop moving in and out of her. A grin forms on his swollen lips. "Are you begging me to fuck you?" he questions. "I never thought I'd see the day when you would beg me for something."

"Ethan Edwards, I'm about to get up and go get Luca-"

"Oh I don't think so," Ethan interrupts as he goes into his bedside table to get something. He pulls out a little foil package and comes back over to hover over her. "You're going to take off the rest of your clothes and I will give you the best dick you've ever had in that pretty little pussy."

His words go straight to her core and she listens to him almost as soon as he's done talking. She slides off her ruined panties and Ethan takes off his boxers to slide on the condom that he pulled out of the drawer.

She lies down on her back and lets Ethan settle above her. He lines up at her entrance and she stares up at him. Ethan meets her eyes before he pushes into her. She gasps from the stretch and grabs his triceps. It's painful at first but quickly turns into pleasure the longer he's inside her. He slowly pushes into her until he's completely buried inside her.

Once the pain completely fades, she nods at him. "Go," she tells him.

As soon as he has her permission, Ethan rolls his hips. Her jaw drops as he slowly picks up speed. The pleasure is so much that she nearly blacks out. Her nails dig into his triceps so hard that she's pretty sure he's going to end up with marks on his arms.

This is the last thing that she ever expected to happen. She never thought she would be underneath Ethan and getting fucked by him. She doesn't know if she'll ever tell him this because his ego will grow bigger than it already is, but it might be the best sex she's ever had. It's a quick hookup but it's already better than the rest of the hookups she's ever had, not that there are that many to compare it to.

She wouldn't be against it if this were to ever happen again.

Ethan continues to move deeply into her, but his movements pick up speed. The bed creaks and the room his filled with the soft moans that pass her lips. Ethan pants as he continues to move.

She starts to move her hips to match his pace. "Holy shit," she cries out when the tip of his dick hits her favorite spot. "Ethan."

"Like that, baby?" Ethan pants. "Like feeling my dick inside you? Making you feel good?"

He slams into her once and she arches her back off the bed. "Yes!" she gasps. "Yes, Ethan. God. Fuck."

With her response, Ethan slows down but hits her spot over and over again. Her legs begin to shake as she reaches the edge. The knot in her stomach threatens to come undone.

Ethan leans down and crashes their lips together in a bruising kiss. She groans as she feels her entire body clench. She squeezes around his dick as she comes and cries out against his lips. Her hands find his hair and she grasps, needing something to hold onto.

She feels like she's on cloud nine as Ethan fucks her through both of their orgasms. Her body goes limp under his when he pulls out to dispose of the used orgasm.

He cleans both of them up with his shirt before he collapses on the bed next to her. Her breathing is labored but is slowly returning to normal.

When she finds the strength to move, she turns her head to look at him. Ethan's already looking at her when she looks at him.

"I never hated you," Ethan admits to her. She raises her eyebrows at him. "I mean it. I never hated you. I thought it was cute how flustered you got every time I messed with you so I kept doing it not knowing that it meant that you didn't like me. That was me trying to express my feelings but it was definitely the wrong way to do that."

She blinks at him. "You've said some hurtful thing to me, Ethan," she tells him. "I'm going to need some time to get over that but ... I think I'd be okay if we tried to be friends. I wouldn't be opposed to this either."

"I knew you always wanted me," he teases.

"Shut up," she replies as she leans in to kiss him.

༺──────────────༻

MAIN HOCKEY

wanna be added to the kinktober taglist ? fill out this form !

taglist : @mommahughes19-23 @ceces-obsessions @pucks-goals-penalties @justwanderingbutneverlost @alwaysclassyeagle @Zegrashughes @unicorns3993 @herbouquetbasement @scoupsdetyong @iclyj @loveforaugust @estapa94 @flysdaleflyby @lunaloves9 @beez-86 @h0eforfictionalme-n @orphicdreamers-wp @goalsongspinkthongs @hischierswhore @hughescanucks @dasiysthings @dancerbailey3 @mossybooksandlavender @auriesphantom @marie7366 @jahmya17 @georgii-is-happi @hughesmedicine @fearfam69691 @denverbarks @siennaloveshcky @katie-the-bookworm @Beutylookinggood-blog @haechanslovey @devilsandpensfan @bunbunbl0gs @vannnyyy86 @loveyatopluto @when-im-with-you

[jeysbvck]

even if it's a false god (we'd still worship this love)

a/n; ive been working on this for over a year, & after four rewrites, its finally here! thank you to @pedroassmanpascal for your help when i was conceiving this & working on it last year! this is my first time working in this genre, & it hasn't been beta read all the way thru, so please let me know what you think!

warnings; pov change, a butt load of angst, age gap (reader is in her thirties), violence, death/murder, near death experience, voyeurism, female masturbation, male masturbation, male!recieving, female!recieving, penetrative sex (if ive missed any feel free to let me know!!)

taglist; @likedovesinthewnd @harmshake @nightmare-viper

word count; 7.3k

summary; Joel's been pretending you don't exist for weeks now, and you have no idea why. But when you get caught up in a life or death situation, confessions are made, lines are crossed, and your relationship is changed.

Every single part of Joel's body hurt, and he was exhausted. Joel was always exhausted, but this day had been particularly hard. Everything that he - and you had gone through had been for nothing. The supplies and weapons you had been looking for had been looted already. Only a few old, rusty tins of food covered in at least a years worth of dust had been left behind. Not to mention the constant hoards of infected you had to fight through. Now, it was a fight to get back to the QZ to make another plan that could end the exact same way. Yeah, he'd had plenty of bad days, but this one would sting for a while. The hope that had been reignited had gone out again. Now he was just tired.

No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn't sleep. He was just lying on the hard floor -the fabric floor of the tent and his blanket doing nothing to help with the lumps under his back- with his eyes closed and ears alert. He knew how dangerous it could be, the horrors lurking in the woods, even when it was calm and quiet, and he hoped you had heeded his advice and were asleep with your gun.

But then he heard a whimper, and his eyes shot open as he stayed silent, his hand on his pistol. A barely heard whine, and he sighed with relief as he realised it was you. These past few weeks had been taxing - although the past twenty years hadn't exactly been a cake walk - and it dawned on him that you were probably crying. Joel had been so drained and tired during dinner that he selfishly hadn't noticed you were unusually quiet. He also didn't think about it when you retired to bed early. Joel tried to ignore the sounds, but he couldn't, he was just picturing you curled up in your tent, crying yourself to sleep, and the guilt of not noticing anything was wrong was gnawing at him. He groaned and slipped out of his tent, making his way to yours while putting the gun in the back of his jeans.

He quietly navigated the campsite and stopped outside your tent, unsure how to proceed. Did he knock on the fabric door, or did he call out your name? He wasn't good at this stuff, and he hadn't been for a long time, but he also knew that you needed someone; or, more specifically, you needed a friend. You were just that kind of person, even if the world had forced you to pretend you weren't. For a few seconds, he couldn't hear anything, but just as he was about to give up, he heard another noise, but this one sounded more like a moan. Then another one, louder now, and there was no mistaking it that time. Joel's body stiffened, and he started to get hot as his cock twitched at the thought of you getting yourself off, mere feet away from him. He heard your sleeping bag rustle slightly, and he bolted back to his tent, breathing heavily as he zipped the tent door.

He stared up at the roof of the tent, trying - but ultimately failing - not to think about what he'd just almost interrupted. His jeans were uncomfortably tight, and he had to unbutton them just for some relief. He tried to divert his thoughts, to think about anything else, but his mind took some winding paths just to get him back to thinking of you. Joel groaned. He needed a release, and it had been a long time since he'd done, well, anything. It wasn't going to hurt anyone, and you were doing it just mere feet away from him, so what was stopping him? They were all flimsy arguments. He knew that, but it was the easiest solution to the problem at hand.

Joel slipped a hand into his boxers, his cold touch sending goosebumps down his spine, the sensation making him harder. He began to stroke himself, and when he closed his eyes, he could see you writhing around in your tent, your fingers deep inside yourself. He could hear you from your tent still, your quiet whimpering and moaning sounding out through the stillness of the forest, and Joel caught his own moan in his throat as his movements got quicker. He couldn't bring himself to care about the possible dangers lurking, the grip he had his cock on tightening slightly as pictures of you clouded him. He imagined you being in here with him, imagined that you were both watching each other. It didn't take long for Joel to make himself orgasm, and he cleaned himself up, hoping sleep came to him before the guilt did.

-

Joel spent the next few days convinced he was going crazy. Every time you looked at him, he was sure you could see the guilt he was struggling to hide, like his memories would be projected for you to see. Every time you said his name, he was waiting for you to tell him you knew what he'd done, that you'd seen him outside your tent, and heard him in his. He felt so dirty, creepy, ashamed, and at some point, he shut down completely. He knew you were confused, you weren't as good at hiding your emotions as you thought, and you were confused by what you could've possibly done to warrant the cold shoulder from Joel, who could barely look at you, and it made him feel worse. He just didn't know what else to do, so he went back to what he knew best.

After traipsing through the woods for what felt like forever, Joel just wanted to set up camp and get through the night. He was tired, sore, hungry, and needed a moment away from you, without your sad eyes staring at him, without your attempts to get him to open up. So when you announced that you'd had enough and insisting that you stop for the night, Joel didn't argue. While Joel set up the tents, you gathered some wood from the perimeter of the "campsite", and Joel took a moment to watch on fondly, smiling to himself at the smug look of accomplishment on your face, taking the "win" against Joel.

Dinner was silent that night, as the past few had been, and while Joel refused to look up from his food, you were refusing to take your eyes off Joel. Your gaze was burning a hole in his head. He felt scrutinised as he ate, and it took everything in him not to engage. He didn't know if you were trying to annoy him into talking to you or if you were lost in your own thoughts, but he didn't ask.

Once again, straight after dinner, you headed into your tent, sending a soft "goodnight" Joel's way. He looked up but not before the sound of the zip echoed out, and he sighed, rubbing his temples.

The fire had died long ago, but Joel still hadn't found the energy to crawl into his tent. He stared up at the starry night, and just as his mind started to wander into dangerous territory -somewhere he never went if he could help it- he heard the noise that had been playing on a loop in his head for the past two days. His cock stirred and he covered his face with his hands. Not again.

He knew he had to get back to his tent and fast, but he had to do it quietly. He began to slowly move the canisters and empty tins, careful not to make any noise. He didn't want you to think he was a pervert. Although that's exactly how he felt right about now. He was about to stand up when he heard a single word from your mouth that made him stop in his tracks.

Joel.

Fuck. Oh fuck. Did you know he was there? Did you hear him? Could you see his silhouette projected on your tent, like it was a cinema screen? He ran through a hundred excuses in his head as he slowly turned to look over his shoulder, and he let out a sigh of relief when he saw no signs that you'd heard him. He scoffed at himself and shook his head. He really was going crazy.

Mmm, Joel, don't stop!

He definitely wasn't going crazy, there was no mistaking it. Not only were you masturbating, mere feet from Joel, but you were moaning his name, and he had never been so hard in his life. He couldn't stop himself, and once again, he unzipped his jeans and pulled out his cock, and while you moaned and gasped from inside the tent, Joel pleasured himself.

His precum was seeping out and over his fingers, and he bit down harshly on his lip to stop his own sounds from escaping. His motion got quicker, matching the sweet sounds coming from your tent, and when you brought yourself to orgasm and Joel's name slipped from your lips, he came undone. He emptied himself onto the dirt, too entranced by your gasps to notice the streams spilling over his fists. He dropped his head against the log behind him and groaned.

"Shit."

-

It happened three more times, and Joel had never been more conflicted. He was constantly stressed and on edge; the guilt from what he was doing was eating away at him. He'd always been someone that could control himself - he had to be - but when it came to this, to you, it was like something triggered inside him. He'd known you for years and had never had these thoughts or these feelings. Then again, he'd never spent this much time with you, and he'd never heard his name fall from your lips like that.

Joel couldn't deny he thought you were beautiful, and that maybe it inflated his ego a little, that you were thinking about him while you fucked yourself with your fingers, or dreaming about him, but he was under no illusions that it meant anything. You didn't have feelings for him. He was just the only person you'd seen in weeks that wasn't trying to kill you, and feelings get warped. Especially with the way the world was now. Besides, he'd seen the guys that hung around you like moths drawn to a flame. They were much younger and fitter than Joel was. Yet, he found himself as one of those moths, and he couldn't help but imagine how it would feel to be caught in your flame.

Joel was no longer waiting to hear you to get himself off. His mind would conjure up images that made it so he couldn't help himself. Images of your mouth around his cock, your hair tangled in his fingers as he fucked your face. His head buried deep in between your legs as he ravished you, his hand clamped over your mouth to muffle your moans of ecstasy. Of his cock slamming into you, his fingernails leaving little indents in your ass as he gripped firmly. The fact that he would never get the real thing didn't bother him. He was content with his fantasies. But he still felt guilty, and the tension between you and Joel was getting worse.

But things were beginning to simmer inside Joel, and his secret masturbating habits were no longer the sole reason for his behaviour. Joel would look over at you, by the fire feading the book you'd memorised front to back, and he'd let himself imagine running his hands through your hair as you sat lazily against him. When he slept, his dreams were of a life he'd never thought he'd want - or have again, and you were always by his side. He'd dream of dancing with you in the living room, waking up beside you, the sunlight making you glow like an ethereal figure. He'd dream of being happy. He'd put it down to the ridiculous situation he found himself in and told himself that once you were both back in the QZ, things would go back to normal. You would go back to people your own age, and Joel would just be a memory of a small fantasy you had while on a difficult run.

But then, as if the universe was trying to intervere, everything changed. The abandoned building you'd been hiding out in turned out not to be not so abandoned, and the two of you had gotten yourselves into a sticky situation. Hunters had cornered you, and in all the chaos and commotion, the last man standing had grabbed you, now using you as a human shield with his arm almost choking you, a knife pressed just above your collarbone while Joel had his gun aimed right at him.

"I'll take yer girls head off!" The guy yelled. Joel could see you were terrified, and it took everything in him not to let his rage consume him. He knew that one wrong move could get you killed. He needed to be smart about this.

"Look, man, we don't have much, but you can take it all. Just let her go." Joel said, trying to keep his voice even. He was terrified that he wasn't going to be able to save you, and he couldn’t live with that. It wasn't just about someone else that he cared about dying or about him failing. You understood him, and somewhere along the way, you had unknowingly brought him out of the darkness. You were his beacon of light, and if he lost that, if he lost you, he wasn't sure he'd ever find his way out of the darkness again.

"Yeah? What if I want 'er?" The hunter sneered, caressing your cheek with his knife, pressing the tip into your skin ever so slightly.

"Not an option." Joel growled.

"Seems like it is to me. I could drag 'er outta here right now. There ain't nothing you could do about it."

-

You felt sick. You couldn't believe you'd let yourself be distracted by Joel being tackled to the ground, and now this disgusting pig had you in a fucking headlock. You'd seen Joel take down hunters and the infected, sometimes effortlessly, so why the hell did you freeze when Joel had been pinned to the floor momentarily? Your feelings for Joel were getting more and more confusing, and you didn't like it one bit, they were going to get you or Joel killed if you carried on like this. 

It's not like you wanted to be attracted to Joel, not when there wasn't a single thing you could do about it. Why would Joel ever go for you? He was twenty years your senior, old enough to be your father. There was just no chance in hell. Yet, you couldn't stop yourself from fantasising about him. It wasn't hurting anyone, and it was keeping you somewhat sane, and he'd never know.

"You won't make it out of this room." You heard Joel say in his deep, gruff voice, and it sent shivers down your spine. Your eyes squeezed shut when you felt the man breathing on your neck, the hot air making your stomach twist, bile rising up your throat as he inhaled your scent, his own vile one violating your senses. You clenched your fist and felt the cold blade of your dagger against your arm, the one you'd forgot you had up your sleeve, literally. How big of an idiot was this guy? How didn't he see you had a knife? As Joel and the hunter traded words, you quickly formulated a plan. If you could somehow manage to stab - or at least slash the guy - maybe he'd let go of you, and then Joel could get a shot in.

"Let go of me!" You shouted, struggling slightly, while slipping the knife further down your sleeve. It worked, and you smirked proudly. You raised your eyebrows at Joel before glancing down at your hand, subtly flashing the knife. You looked back at him, then darted your eyes to your captor. Joel took a second, and you knew he was weighing up his options before he nodded slightly. His eyes darted down to the guys leg, and you winked to let him know you understood the plan. The man still had a fucking knife to your throat, and you didn't want to give him any warnings or ideas.

"Don't worry." The hunter said, 'I'll look after 'er good."

Joel nodded to you, and you clenched the knife, stabbing right into the hunter's thigh. His yells of pain echoed around the room, and he released you from his grip, the knife in his hand clattering to the floor. You stumbled forward, kicking the weapon across the room, but you thankfully managed to stay on your feet. You grinned at Joel, feeling victorious, but it was a fleeting feeling.

"Fuckin' bitch!" The hunter shouted and you turned around, but not quick enough. The knife was sticking out of his thigh, but it didn't seem like he felt it, he was too overcome with rage, and the back of your head slammed against the wall as the hunter pinned you by the throat. You gasped for air, the guys hands squeezing the life out of you, spit flying as he screamed in your face.

"I'll fuckin' kill you, you goddamned bitch!"

You tried to pry the man's hands from around your neck, but it was no use. He was too strong, and your vision was fading rapidly. You were barely able to gasp Joel's name, and you were quickly losing consciousness. All you could do was stand there and let the darkness consume you as you thought about Joel. The way he'd try to hide his smile when you did something wrong, or when you said something silly. The way he laughed, how it was the rich sound you rarely got to hear. How he protected you, even though he clearly didn't want to be around you. How you were going to die, not knowing what you did to make him ignore you the past couple of weeks. Not knowing why he had this sudden disdain for you.

But then, the pressure around your neck suddenly disappeared, and you fell to the floor, gasping for air as you clutched your throat, your eyes wide and darting around wildly, searching for Joel.

He appeared on his knees in front of you and grabbed your face, his panicked, brown eyes staring deep down into your soul.. "Hey! Hey! Are you alright? Come on baby, just breathe for me."

His large hands were warm on your cheeks, the hunter's blood that stained them smearing across your skin as he caressed your cheek, but still, you leaned into his touch. He had never been this gentle before; in fact, he'd never really touched you unless being dragged by your wrist as you ran from infected counts. "I'm okay," you managed to say, and Joel sighed with relief.

"We need to move. Can you stand?" Joel asked, and you nodded, eyes closed as you took a few extra slow, deep breaths. "Okay. Take my hand."

You opened your eyes to Joel's outstretched hand and you took it, letting him haul you gently to your feet. He hooked his arm under yours to help you walk, and as you concentrated on walking with shaky legs, Joel guided you to the door. "Wait here." He said, disappearing out the front door to check for any danger.

As he did so, you turned to inspect the chaos you were leaving behind. Your stomach lurched as you saw the blood pooling around the dead man with a clean, almost surgical, maroon slice straight across his neck, and you wondered just how many times Joel had had to do it, to get such a clean cut. Your eyes snapped back to the door, where Joel was staring at you, his eyes wide and sad, like a puppy, before they hardened. "Let's go." Joel said. "We'll find a house to hide out in."

*

The universe had decided you could both use a break, and less than two hours after the attack, deep inside the seemingly never-ending woods, the two of you came across an unlocked cabin, the keys just sat on the side table. Joel put his finger up to his lips, and you nodded, following his lead as he crept through the front door. He pointed at you, then at the spot you were standing, and you nodded, doing as you were told while Joel checked it out. Neither of you wanted to take any more chances after today.

"Hey, you might wanna come check this out!" Joel's voice echoed through the cabin, and you closed the front door before heading towards the sound of his voice.

The cabin was rustic and run down, and looked to have been abandoned for a decade at least. It had been a hunter's cabin, judging by the animal heads mounted up on the walls, staring down at you with their black, beady eyes that seemed to follow you everywhere. The fireplace was brick, an axe resting against it with piles of wood stacked in front. You turned around and found Joel in the kitchen, staring down at the sink. As you got closer, you heard the familiar sound of a running tap, and you smiled. You'd take any kind of water right now, anything to get rid of this day.

But then you saw it, dancing through the air, rising from the tap. You were convinced you'd imagined it until you saw Joel's fingers rolling together under the water, a look of shock on his face.

"Is that what I think it is?" You asked as you got closer, and Joel nodded. You gingerly held your fingers out, anticipating cold water, not wanting to get your hopes up. But when your fingers hit the warm water, you let out a bewildered laugh, cupping both hands under the water, letting it spill over as it slowly but surely got hotter. "I can't believe it!"

"Yeah, well, we deserved a win eventually." Joel replied. You made eye contact, and the corner of his mouth curled upwards slightly, his eyes darting down to your neck before he took a sharp breath and turned away. "You should go have a shower."

"What about you?" You asked, and he sighed.

"Just go. I'll wash up here."

-

After stripping off your clothes, you looked at your reflection. Only then did you notice the bruising around your neck, and the blood smeared across your cheeks. You could still feel the way the hunter's hands squeezed so tight that you could feel the life draining from your body. You could still feel the panic and terror you felt and the relief when Joel forced the hunter to let go. The look in Joel's eyes when he held your face, the gentle touch as he caressed your cheeks and brushed your hair out of your face. You thought you'd made your peace with dying long ago, but that was until you almost met death, and it made you realise you didn't want to leave Joel. If Joel was in your life, maybe living was worth it.

You were so lost in thought, staring at your scarred body in the mirror, you didn't hear Joel knock on the door. It was only when the door burst open with Joel shouting your name that you turned around, surprised.

Joel kept his eyes on yours, refusing to let himself cave and look down; although it's all he wanted to do. You knew you should grab the towel, or the shower curtain, anything to cover yourself, but you were frozen, like Joel's gaze was keeping you locked on the spot.

Joel cleared his throat and shoved a bundle of clothes into your arms. “Sorry, I-uh, I thought maybe you were- it doesn't matter. I found those, thought you'd want some clean clothes.”

He left, slamming the door behind him, and you exhaled. You ignored the thoughts creeping in and the heat rising up your body and climbed into the bathtub under the running shower; watching the dirt and blood trickle off your body and down the plughole. Once the water ran clean, you stepped out, patting yourself down with the small towel. You then filled up the bathtub with hot water and then threw your underwear and clothes into it. It wouldn't fully clean them, but it'd be enough for now. You picked up the oversized flannel and pulled it over your shoulders, forgoing the jeans that were way too big for you, even with the help of a belt. You sighed and headed back out to Joel.

The fire was burning, the crackling wood echoing through the cabin. Joel was sitting at the wooden table in front of the window, sipping on a glass of wine. There were two plates of pasta on the table, a glass of wine next to one of them. You padded across the room and dropped into the seat opposite Joel, studying his face as he stared out the window. The sky was pink and orange as it set through the trees, the view almost as beautiful as the one sitting next to you; the light of the sunset cascading over Joel. He turned his head to you, and you glanced down at the food. Joel cleared his throat.

"I found some pasta and wine in the cupboards. It only went out of date a few weeks ago." He explained. "It should be okay for us to eat."

"I'm sure it's fine." You replied, "anything's better than beans again, right?" You leaned forward and took the glass of wine, taking a long sip, basking in the way it burned your throat slightly. It had been so long since you'd had even a sip of alcohol, you could swear your head was already fuzzy.

Like most dinners lately, this one was silent. But this was slightly different, considering you were probably the safest you'd been in a long time, and you were eating actual food off actual plates. If you and Joel were in a better place, it would be almost considered domestic. You might even consider staying here, leaving the QZ far behind. But you weren't, Joel could barely bring himself to talk to you — he couldn't even look at you. You really thought you were turning a corner with him until his behaviour changed one morning without warning.

"We should stay here for a couple of days, then head back to the QZ." Joel said. You sighed and finished your glass of wine, but it wasn't enough.

"Great." You replied, looking around for the bottle of wine. "Then you can go back to pretending I don't exist." You weren't sure where the outburst had come from, but you were pretty sure it had something to do with the alcohol running through your blood.

"Pretending you don't- what? I don't do that!" Joel insisted.

You scoffed. "Oh please, you're not as mysterious as you like to think." You said, although there was little truth to it. "You didn't even know my name in the QZ, yet we were around each other for months! I thought we were getting somewhere, but lately, you've been acting like we're strangers!" You told him.

"What?! Okay, maybe I was a little isolated in the QZ, but it's not like that now!" Joel replied, his fork clattering on the plate when it dropped from his hand. "All I do is worry about your survival!"

"Riiiiight, because you care so much." You said, rolling your eyes.

"It's my job to pro-"

"Your job?" You repeated, offended by his words, although you couldn't place why. "Well, allow me to relieve you of your duty." The chair screeched across the floor as you stood up and grabbed your unfinished plate and glass.

Joel inhaled through his nose and groaned. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"Well, I mean it. Leave. I didn't need a babysitter before, and I don't need one now!" You said loudly, heading to the kitchen for a reprieve.

Joel growled and slammed his palms on the table as he stood up, refusing your reprieve, following you to the kitchen. "I'm not leaving you to die out here. Which, you would've already if it wasn't for me. You've proven that multiple times!"

"Maybe," you replied, dropping the plate in the sink, staring at Joel, whose eyes darted away. "But I'd rather die alone than with someone who can't even stand to look at me!"

"I can't look at you because you drive me fucking crazy!" Joel exclaimed, his patience finally having worn thin. "Ever since I heard you moaning in that fucking-" He stopped, his eyes wide and on you as he realised what he said; watching his words dawn on you as your face cracked.

Nausea, or quite possibly embarrassment — rose from your stomach up through your oesophagus, and you drank from the glass of wine that was in front of you — which wasn't quite the best course of action as it didn't sit well on your spinning stomach. Joel had heard you masturbating. That's what he was saying, right? There wasn't anything else he could possibly be referencing. But why would it drive him crazy? Joel could be uptight sometimes, but it didn't seem to be in a "women shouldn't pleasure themselves" way.

You blinked a few times, and Joel's face came into focus. He had closed the gap between you both, now only a few feet away. He looked awkward as he shifted on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable.

"You heard me mast -" You stopped, unable to say the word out loud, and you sighed, feeling ridiculous. "You haven't been talking to me for weeks because you heard me -"

Something clicked in your head, like a light had just been switched on. You hadn't just gotten yourself off once. And at some point, you began to fantasise it was Joel's fingers, or mouth, even his cock instead of your own hand. You were aware a couple of times his name had slipped from your lips, and you'd clasped your hand around your mouth afterwards, praying he hadn't heard you.

It was beginning to seem very likely he had heard you, and something in you shifted from embarrassment to…something else, and you arched your eyebrow, finishing off the glass of wine for some extra courage.

"You heard me say your name.” You said, arching your eyebrow. Joel stared before he nodded slowly.

“I heard.” He confirmed, refusing to break eye contact. The air in the kitchen had shifted; it was thick with tension, and Joel wondered where this was going.

You hummed and tilted your head. “What did you do?” You asked, smirking when it was clear it caught Joel off guard.

"What?”

“What did you do, Joel?” You asked, leaning back against the counter. Joel's eyes darted to your bare legs before slowly dragging them up your body, stopping at the three open buttons that exposed your cleavage.

“I thought I heard you crying, so I came to check on you.” He explained. “When I got to your tent, I realised you weren't, and I went back to my tent.” His eyes darted to your face before he closed the gap between you until he was practically on top of you. “I tried to ignore you, but I couldn't help myself.” He lifted your chin with his index and middle fingers, so you were staring at him through your lashes. Your lips parted slightly as your chest rose and fell, your heart pounding against your rib cage. “I kept hearing your moans and thinking about you in that tent, and it got me so - I had to -”

His eyes were dark, full of lust, and you instinctively licked your lips slightly. "You- couldn't help yourself, huh?" You asked. Joel arched his eyebrow and tentatively reached his hand up to your cheek. He traced his finger over your cheek gently, and you closed your eyes as you inhaled. "Hearing you moan my name," He said, running a path down your jaw to your neck, "it sounded too good."

You reached up, closing the gap between your lips. Without hesitation, Joel reciprocated the kiss, his hand still around your neck as the other slipped around your hips, resting on the bottom of your back, pulling you closer to him. His bulge pressed into your crotch and you could feel it getting harder as the kiss deepened. You tugged his brown, leather jacket from his shoulders while Joel started an assault on your neck. If this lasted forever, it still wouldn't be long enough.

"Is this a good idea?" You asked through the gasps as he nipped and sucked at your neck.

"Mhmm, giving me some mixed signals here." he mumbled against your skin before pulling away, his mouth inches from yours. "I think it's a fucking great idea. Don't you?"

“I'm not sure.” You confessed. Joel cupped your cheek with his hand and stroked your cheek with his thumb, his eyes soft, even if still full of lust. Was this a good idea? He'd spent weeks ignoring you, and it felt like Hell — but the way he kissed you, the way he touched you; it felt like Heaven.

"I don't care if it's a good idea or not." You replied, and Joel grinned.

"Good," he replied, "Because you have no idea how much I need you right now."

"Then show me." You said, and Joel growled before he pressed his lips against yours and instigated another passionate kiss, illicting a moan from you. He picked you up and dropped you onto the counter, spreading your legs so he could step in between them.

The kiss was messy, teeth and tongues clashing together as both sets of hands roamed each other's bodies. Joel's hands cupped and massaged your breasts as yours unbuttoned his jeans, using your heels to push them down his legs. One hand trailed a path from your breast to your stomach, dancing around the place you needed him the most.

"No panties, huh?" He said into your mouth, his finger tracing a path up your slit so gently, it was like he was using a feather. "I never would've known you were such a slut." His finger grazed your clit, and he grinned as you bucked your hips.

"Maybe if you'd acknowledged my existence, you might have found out earlier." You replied, grabbing his bulge through the fabric and squeezed, tight. Joel gasped into your mouth as he thrusted into your hand, and it was your turn to smirk against his mouth. If he could tease you, you could do the same, you thought as you slipped your hand into his boxers, relishing the feeling of his cock in your grasp.

Joel growled, his hips bucking before he shoved two fingers inside you without warning. A yelp mixed with a moan slipped from your mouth as you threw your head back, and Joel groaned. He kept his pace up, pushing his fingers in and out of you, feeling your walls clench around them as he watched your face contort with pleasure, your moans echoing throughout the kitchen. Not even his fantasies could have prepared him for how incredible this felt. If using just his fingers made him — made you feel this good, he couldn't wait to use his cock.

But he would wait. For weeks, you had — albeit unknowingly, driven him to the brink of insanity. Clouded his mind so he couldn't focus on anything; which is why he didn't notice the threat today, which almost cost you your life. So now, he had to drive you insane in the only way he could.

He dropped to his knees and pulled you by your legs so you were hanging off the counter. He then hoisted your legs over his shoulders, and you watched Joel as he studied your cunt — the look in his eyes resembled one of a wild animal, one that was finally allowed out of its cage, to roam free as its right. Yet, he was biting his lip; almost like he was holding onto that last tiny bit of control he had left. But you wanted — no, you needed the wild animal, and so you tangled your fingers into his hair. He looked up at you, locking eyes as he let you guide his head to where you needed him to be.

Shivers ran down your spine as his beard tickled you as he dragged his tongue over the skin on the inside of your thighs. Once again, he touched every piece of you, but not where you needed.

“Joel,” you whined, the grip on his hair getting tighter as you bucked your hips, "Please." You begged.

“Oh baby, you're already so wet.” he tutted, his finger running through your folds and teasing your entrance before he lifted it to your mouth and pushed it between your lips. “Your pretty pussy is glistening for me.”

You tasted a hint of your juices as you wrapped your tongue around his finger, keeping your gaze on him as you did. He groaned, imagining how good your mouth would feel wrapped around his cock. He pulled his finger out, and you gasped when he pushed it inside you. When he flicked your clit with the tip of his tongue, you gasped and arched your back. “Oh shit, fuck, Joel.”

Every sense was heightened as Joel flattened his tongue and lapped at you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he swirled his tongue around your clit. You pushed yourself against him, practically hanging off the counter, making Joel grab your ass with both hands as he buried his face into you. With his beard grazing against you and his tongue pushing you further to release, your thighs gripped his head. Every single part of you was on fire as his assault on your cunt continued, and you could feel your orgasm brewing.

So could Joel, which was apparent as his pace got quicker, bringing in his fingers to help finish the job. With his thumb circling your clit and his tongue deep inside you, you reached your climax, Joel's name spilling from your mouth. As you threw your head back, grinding yourself against his face; you saw stars, all while Joel kept up the relenting pace.

He finally pulled away and stood up, grinning as he leaned towards you. His beard was glistening, and when he kissed you, you could taste yourself on him, mixing with the wine you had with dinner. Joel hooked his arms under your legs and scooped you off the counter; carrying you fireman style out the kitchen, through the sitting room and into the bedroom, where he dropped you on the bed. He crawled on top of you and dipped his head to kiss you. It was a soft, sweet kiss, one that you didn't want to end, so when it did, you whimpered, and Joel smiled softly.

“You still wanna do this?” He whispered. “We can stop if you want to.”

You leaned up on your elbows and gave him your answer with a kiss. He pressed his palm on your cheek and deepened the kiss, pushing you back down as he did. The two of you made out like two teenagers, and you could feel Joel's cock hardening against you. You slipped your hand in between your bodies and gripped his cock, rubbing the head against your entrance. Joel groaned, his head falling into your shoulder. He bit down as you pushed his cock inside yourself, your moans harmonising, the sensation almost too much.

Joel took over, grabbed your hands, and pinned them above your head. The animalistic look was in his eyes again, grunting with every thrust, his grip against your wrists tightening. You closed your eyes, and Joel growled.

“You thought about this while fucking yourself.” He said, his voice low. “Open your eyes and look at me while I fuck you.”

You opened your eyes and were met by Joel's big, brown ones that were now practically black. He fucked you harder, thrusting in and out as his thumb once again circled your clit. There was a ninety-eight percent chance that someone on the other side of the forest could hear everything, but at this moment neither of you cared. After weeks of awkwardness, of fantasising about each other while you touched yourselves, this felt right, like something had finally clicked into place — and you'd be damned if this was the first and only time it happened. Now you'd had a taste, you couldn't ever go back.

Joel picked up the pace, and you could once again feel your orgasm rising. You pulled Joel closer, your foreheads touching, your vision falling out of focus as you stared into Joel's eyes, but you refused to look away.

“Fuck, Joel, I'm so close” You whimpered, bucking your hips to meet his thrust, his cock hitting deeper each time you moved.

“If you keep doing that, I'm gonna -” Joel grunted, your synced thrusts getting faster. “Fuck, baby.” Joel moaned. “I'm gonna, shit -”

“Let go for me, Joel.” You whispered in his ear. “Come for me, and next time, I'll show you what I can do with my mouth.”

It only took a couple more thrusts before you and Joel finished together, and he slumped on top of you, breathing heavily. You lifted his head up, brushed his hair out his face, and smiled up at him, hearts practically in your eyes.

“So…” you said, and he reciprocated the smile. “Sooo…” He repeated.

“Are you going to be all weird with me again?” You teased, and Joel arched his eyebrow, a smirk dancing on his lips.

“I don't think so,” Joel replied, dipping his head for another kiss. “Especially if I want this to happen again.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you think we're doing this again?” You asked, and Joel grinned.

“Oh we're definitely doing that again.” Joel answered, and you giggled as he rolled off you and reached a blanket that was on a chair next to the bed. He flung it over the two of you before pulling you into his chest and pressing his lips against your temple. “I wanna know what you can do with that mouth.” He mumbled.

You giggled again, your heart fluttering as he linked his fingers around yours and kissed your knuckles. “Keep this up, and you'll find out.” You replied before a yawn slipped out.

“Alright you little tease, I think I can hold out until tomorrow.” Joel chuckled. “Right now, I think you need to sleep.”

You snuggled into Joel's chest, his fingers running through your hair. You never thought you'd be in this position, in bed with Joel Miller. You knew there was a lot more to talk about, but right now, you didn't care. You just focused on Joel's heartbeat under your head, on his fingers in your hair. Focused on how — even though there were still many dangers to staying in this cabin, it was still the safest you'd been in a long time.

The last thing you heard as you drifted into a peaceful sleep was a quiet confession from Joel; one you weren't sure you were actually meant to hear. “I'll always keep you safe. Even if it means giving my life.”

[kryannoy]

Hey, can we have a Yan!Andrew Graves with Reader?

genre: sfw, headcanons + fic

characters: yandere!andrew graves x reader

warnings: manipulation, gaslighting, obsession, possessive andrew

a/n: i don't normally write yandere characters so this was a bit of a challenge. hope this suits your request and enjoyed reading!

He's so obsessed with you but he's subtle with it—more like whatever stupid thing he does, he'll make sure you don't see it.

When he loves you, he'll make sure to keep you happy just so you will always come to him whenever something happens. He'll open a bottle cap for you without being told, he'll wipe your mouth with his fingers if it's messy—totally not putting them in his mouth afterwards. He'll open the door for you, let you cry on his shoulder, gives you hugs when you need it. Every subtle thing to manipulate you into coming back to him when you need support.

If someone talks to you, he'll be right behind you with arms wrapped around your waist while glaring daggers at the other person.

"No, no. Continue. Don't mind me, pretend that I don't exist."

To you, his tone sounds normal but to the poor guy, it's like a cleaver skinning them alive.

If someone even looks at you without you knowing, it's gonna be hell for them. He somehow won't be afraid to kidnap that person, tie them up and threaten them with Andrew's favorite cleaver until the person is diagnosed with PTSD.

He will shamelessly go back to you with a smile on his handsome face as if nothing happened.

Andrew would kill anyone for you but if you tell him not to, he won't.

Although, he knows you would be scared if you saw him murdering people, he won't do it anyways. The last thing he wants is you running away from him.

You have no idea why people start to turn their backs on you and you would think that you've done something wrong. So, you ask Andrew for advice or if he knows anything, exactly what he planned for.

And he would smile innocently from his success and spread out his arms. You would dive into his comfy sweater without knowing the hands that are holding you are the hands that have done so many questionable and criminal acts.

"C'mere you. Aw, you poor thing! I'm sure no one hates you. Who would? They're probably out of social energy from a rough day or something. Don't you worry!"

He'll kiss your forehead, then your nose, and lastly, your lips. You would smile and he would smile into the kiss while thinking how naive you are.

He admits sometimes that he feels guilty for deceiving you but what can he do? How could he come up to you and admit to all the crimes he's done? You wouldn't look at him the same anymore, would you? Would you still love him despite knowing what he did or what he ate? He wouldn't take any risks. If he has the person he loves the most in his arms, why would he easily throw you away?

If the truth hasn't been told, he'll keep you for himself. He'll keep you forever.

You knew he acted differently than normal people. He's a little different because of his upbringing, and that's normal for kids with neglected parents growing up with a weird habit of theirs and that was just his charm, right?

Because you think it was just a charm of his, you didn't run when you had the chance to. Besides, if he was so sweet to you, so kind to you, so good to you, he wouldn't hurt you, would he?

There's a reunion dinner later tonight with your old high school mates and of course you're coming. You haven't seen your friends in a long time. You've already informed Andrew of this and for the past week he was okay with it, but why is his tone now sounded . . . different?

"You're going?" He asked from the couch. One of his legs propped up on the other and an arm over the couch. His green eyes look up and down at your fit that he knows you chose the best from your closet. You're going to meet some nobodies with that outfit? You didn't even wear something so pretty when he's around! Not that you aren't pretty. It's just you put a tiny bit less effort when going out or being with Andrew.

"I've already told you, haven't I?" You're putting on your shoes at the front door and you hear some shuffling. Your hand is at the doorknob now. "I'll be back before ten. I prom—"

The door slams shut again before you could even open a crack. You can feel him behind you. His hands on the door, caging you between him and the solid wood.

"You are not going." His voice is low, almost threatening.

You turn around to face. You do not want to have this conversation right now. You're going to be late, that is if you find a way to stir this around to go your way.

"Andrew, this is unfair. Last week, you told me I can go so why are you backing out now? Tonight of all days!"

It wasn't his intention to upset you nor ruin your night but why are they taking you away from him?

"Why are you still excited about going? Don't you remember what they've done to you? They isolated you . . . remember?"

They isolated you. Yeah, right. He was the reason behind it anyways, but poor you who loves him too never suspected your own boyfriend was the culprit.

"They . . . didn't. You said they didn't have the energy to talk," your voice was almost a whisper. You weren't even confident of your own answer. You're starting to reminisce about the old days at school. Sure, they didn't talk to you anymore, but the reunion dinner is going to be different, right?

His hand moves down to lock the door but his actions made you take a step back, hitting the door. You forgot you're kind of trapped right now with no way out unless reasoning with him first.

"You don't really have to go . . ." The same hand moves up to your hair, tucking some strands behind your ear ever so gently it's almost . . . unnervingly creepy. "Do you?"

His eyebrow raised in question.

Your heart is starting to pick up its pace. Your fingertips are running cold. You don't understand yourself why you're so nervous in front of him. I mean, you had been nervous around him but this is a different kind of nervous. It's fear. Fear of him. However, he never hurt you yet. He never raised his voice to you. He's always been nice and sweet to you. But you really can't help this weird feeling.

So you slowly tell him how you feel.

"You're scaring me."

And there it is. It hit something in him. It's the last thing he wants, but the first thing to make you listen to him.

You can see his facial expression changes from demanding to guilt.

"Love, there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just me!" His caging arms now freeing you while backing away a bit, most likely a tactic to show you he's innocent. "I'm just saying, wouldn't you be left out at dinner? I don't want my pretty girl coming home sad and disappointed when the past week you've been so excited about this dinner."

Andrew takes your silence to continue. "Stay here. With me."

You really want to insist on going yet you don't want to risk starting a fight. But it's unfair! You always let him win you over, now he needs to listen and let you go. Maybe a small chance could probably lead to a huge success.

"But please!" You drag the word longer, hoping he'll give in. "I haven't seen my friends for I don't how many years. It's just this once."

You seem energetic again. He takes this chance to step closer, a hand on the side of your face. His thumb brushes along your glossed lips you put on earlier, smudging it. His gaze move up from your lips to your eyes.

"I'm sorry, darling, but no means no." He said it so softly before he kissed you longingly. You somehow melt into him despite your disagreement. He's really not losing—like always.

He broke off the kiss to continue persuading you to stay. "I'm doing this for your own good. Sometimes you're too naive to be staying around them. You're too nice. I've seen it. And it hurts to watch you being used and throw you away."

You exhale a deep breath from the stress. Maybe Andrew's right. Maybe you are too naive to realize. They asked you for homework and notes, but then one day, they stopped talking to you. Maybe they really did see no use in you they've fulfilled their satisfaction.

But Andrew . . . Andrew never stopped talking to you. Andrew never threw you away. Andrew was always there through it all. Andrew never left you by yourself.

Like right now.

"Okay," you spoke softly, like a whisper, before nodding your head. "I'll stay in with you."

Good thing you were looking at the ground because now, Andrew can't hide the big smile on his face. He successfully manages to keep you by his side. His heart beats rapidly from the excitement, his skin was buzzing. He can be with you tonight. He can stay with you. Just the two of you!

He pulls you in his arms and strokes your hair. "That's my good girl. Always so obedient." He kisses the crown of your head before leading you to your bedroom so you can change to a more comfortable clothes.

He dreams of having you by his side forever but he doesn't want to go to extreme measures such as locking you in or tying you up. Maybe not just yet. Since you're so good to him and love him too, you deserve to roam around freely until you start to disobey.

He wouldn't want to do it but tonight, he was close to doing so just from how persistent you were.

[colourstreakgryffin]

*holds hands out for alms*

Reincarnation content where wife!s/o of Muzan who cared and loved him during his sickly heian days (who died either natural causes / accident, and he didn't get to appreciate her enough and is kind of an a-hole at that time) reborn as a hashira? And he stumbles upon her?

*coughs aggressively* i need bittersweet pining Muzan to cure my desperation

Wooowwww! I like this idea so much! This is actually very cool and I absolutely love this! Once again, thank you all for this incredible concepts! Muzan is quite the common powerhouse for this blog so let’s give him more attention

Kibutsuji Muzan- Loop-Around

Muzan knows those eyes too well… those beautiful, colourful eyes on a woman so pretty and loving. The flashbacks, the memories, the tragedy and the anger he feels over his past. Over his own failure and his own mistakes over what he did during Heian Era, during his life as a human. Those awful, painful drawn-out days where all he could do was sit in a bed and watch people come in and out of his room

The person who arrived the most was his assigned wife, Dokusha. A kind, patient, sophisticated woman of wealth, and she always spent so much time to take care of and love Muzan, all whilst looking around for the right medicine to cure his terminal illness. Muzan, during this time, couldn’t care less for that woman. She was just a useful tool to make him comfortable, feel validated and save his life but through the weeks, as he grew even weaker, he got real tired of waiting to be rescued by so many incompetents.

When he gotten given a type of medicine that worked, that odd concoction from a rather viable doctor you had bought in for Muzan, and when it shaped him into the first ever demon. He could finally walk for the first time in his life

And he walked out of that room… in perfect health, with razor sharp fangs, with a blood-thirst for human flesh, with his muscles clenching and strong. However, as he explored. He ended up finding something else as tragic as what he caused to his rescuer. His assigned wife mauled to death by wild Ussuri Brown bears in the forest, all whilst clearly trying to find absolutely any medicinal herbs that could possibly do anything to save Muzan

Muzan never really appreciated nor cared for Dokusha, he didn’t see her as much of a person and whilst he looked at the mangled body of that woman… he felt… almost nothing. It wasn’t disgust but it also wasn’t anger, it was just… emptiness and after that day. He suspected he would never see a human woman named Dokusha ever again, foolishly unaware of the fact he truly did love Dokusha and truly did feel a deep pit of misery-fuelled fury at her death. She did so much for him and he did nothing for her

Even after learning the fatal accident that caused her death was entirely centred around trying to recover Muzan from his birth sickness

Currently as the high and mighty Demon King, the first ever Demon in existence. Kibutsuji Muzan, has been confronted by the newest Hashira of the Demon Slayer Corps in Asakusa, the Tashio Era when walking back to his ‘family’, and she has the eyes and the voice of his real wife. 10,000 years after her death, she’s back in a entirely new form and just knowing his dead wife has been reincarnated as his moral enemy is making Muzan’s undead heart throb in pain and outrage. Why does he feel this way looking into this Hashira’s eyes?

10,000 years after her death and now, Muzan has finally realised he has missed his wife so bad that he has grown desperate to see her again. He never noticed it, he always thought about locating the Blue Spider Lily and spreading over his ‘gift’ of demonicism around to every human he can find to gain the power he desires, to concur the Sun. Now, he notices how aggressive he is over the idea of love and how he is so repulsed by the six other wives he has pretended to marry throughout his life

Muzan stayed silent, blood red slit-pupiled eyes glaring at his reborn Hashira wife, taking in her features to every corner and constantly seeing glimpses and flashes of her original self… she’s so beautiful and he didn’t even notice how beautiful Dokusha actually was. How she didn’t deserve to die for his sake, if he could, he’d have ordered Dokusha to stay with him when she left upon calling that doctor in, as to save her life so then, he could have turned her into an demon too

Made her his Queen of Demons but no… he failed and now, he is beyond bittersweet. Pining, angry at his own blindness, upset he let the only woman who actually genuinely cared about him go… if he could reverse time, he would

Muzan, now, cannot bring himself to be the cause of his wife’s death once more… he can’t. He’ll just have to figure out another way to get her back, all without hurting her so before Dokusha could even think to begin attacking the Demon King with all the strength she has within that branded Nichirin Katana. Muzan fades away into the pitch black night, his glowing red eyes providing the only semblance of light for him when he retreats from that Hashira and those magnificent eyes, disappearing several streets down from her in a way she can’t track him down

He loves her

He knows he loves his wife and he can’t believe he had to wait for 10,000 years to recognise the mere fact that he did love Dokusha. Even if he didn’t know her enough to even call her a friend, her optimistic compassionate nature and the right to admire that personality was drowned out by Muzan’s own bitterness and desire to remain alive. He messed up royally with the first Dokusha, he won’t mess up with the second Dokusha

And he will make her his queen… even if it includes spending hours following the Ice Hashira around. He’ll do it and he already has a plan devised in his mind. He won’t hesitate to find some method to transform into a powerful immortal being like himself

All because he wants you back so bad

[taintedcigs]

✦ SOMETHING LIKE THIS | eddie m. x reader ✦

wc: 6.3k+

pairing: eddie munson x f!reader

warnings: nothing rlly, partying, drinking, kissing, fluffy fluff, angsty if u squint!, high mention?, drinking games!!, truth or dare bc im such a cliche <3

summary: a truth or dare game with eddie reveals some truths between the two of you.

authors note: omg i feel like i haven't posted in forever and this so LONGG and if u can guess which show i was heavily inspired by when i wrote the closet scene i will give u thousand of kisses. as usual i kinda hate this and the ending but this took forever to write and idk i just love friends to lovers eddie SOO MUCH. this is proofread but i only read it once so pls ignore any mistakes !! also if u guys enjoyed this pls LEAVE FEEDBACK, come talk to me in asks, requests r open!! ily all sm, mwah, em!

You scoffed as you made your way past the drunken slimy bodies, pushing everyone out of the way until you finally made it into the kitchen, having no idea how Steve had managed to throw a bash this crowded and your head was spinning too much to care now.

Stumbling a bit your feet picked you up toward the drink stand, shaking the empty bottles, you sighed. "Really? All of them?" you huffed annoyed as you turned around, spotting Robin with a bottle in her hand, you smirked.

"Robin! You are my hero." You giggled as you approached her, grabbing the bottle despite her protests as you chugged a huge sip, your face contorting at the taste.

"Jesus, slow down! You're going to get black out drunk again and then complain all day tomorrow." Nancy came up behind Robin as she scoffed, this is what you had been doing all week, and Nancy was starting to get worried but you rolled your eyes at her, while Robin gave her a 'don't say that' look.

"C'mon Nance, let her be. She's got enough on her plate as it is!" Robin made a suggestive look as you took another sip, turning to face her.

Nancy pursed her lips as she shrugged. "And what does that mean?" You asked, knitting your brows together. Robin pointed towards Eddie, and your eyes followed.

He was chugging the beer he had a firm grip on, face contorting as he took more and more sips, your heart dropped to your stomach at the sight, you knew he would be here, yet you couldn't help the tingles that overtook your body when you saw him.

You were so stupid.

"I don't know what you mean." You shrugged your shoulders, lying through your teeth, Eddie had been sort of avoiding you for some time, and now, for a whole week, he was acting as if you didn't exist.

You didn't know why or how, but it was eating away at you.

Spending your days drinking and smoking away your feelings had become a regular habit ever since he had started avoiding you, and Nancy and Robin had started to get worried about your current coping mechanism.

To say you were feeling hurt would be an understatement, you and Eddie were supposed to be friends, best friends even, in the last four years, you had grown close to him, so close that being away from him even for a second hurt.

And now this distance, his cold attitude, not returning any of your calls, and eventually pretending as if you didn't exist, was eating at you, your own insecurities were bubbling up at the surface.

What was so wrong with you that Eddie couldn't even tell it to your face?

"I mean, it is weird, I've never seen the two of you apart for an hour, let alone a week." Robin spoke up, mentally cursing herself for not being able to stop blabbering and Nancy gave her a look, one that meant, 'not the fucking time' and you narrowed your eyes, hurt twinging in your chest.

"Shutting up now?" Robin asked awkwardly, shrugging her shoulders in defense, "I hope." You replied, trying to hide the hurt in your tone.

Your eyes searched for Eddie again, he was now conversing with Argyle and Jonathan, he looked uncomfortable, he could feel your gaze on him and he was doing everything in his willpower to not meet your disappointed eyes, he knew he would soften up the second he saw you.

"I think I have a plan." Nancy muttered to Robin behind you as they quickly left your side, you were too busy to notice anything as you leaned on the wall chugging the bottle again, face feeling numb.

You meant to talk to him, ask him why he was avoiding you, but you were afraid of his answer, what if Eddie didn't want to be your friend anymore?

What if Eddie was going to tell you how much he started hating you and that he never wanted to see your face again?

You would much prefer the distance rather than be shunned by him. You doubted you could handle anything without him by your side.

You knew what you felt for him was far beyond friendship now, but you never could fully admit to it.

For months, Nancy and Robin had been trying to get you to admit to it, but you had always refused, saying the two of you were 'just friends.'

But you knew, and they knew that people who were 'just friends', didn't do what you two did, friends didn't have movie nights where they ended up cuddling each other and falling asleep in each other's arms, sometimes, Eddie would even place a kiss on your forehead when you fell asleep, tucking you in as a grin took over his lips, seeing how peaceful you were.

Friends didn't have dates in Eddie's van, seated in the back as the both of you ashed a joint, wasting away the night before you watched the sunset with him, his childish grin as he told you all of his stupid jokes feeling like a kick in your stomach now.

And you knew, you knew, friends didn't look at each other the same way both of you looked at one another.

So, you were nervous, nervous that you had fucked up the only good thing in your life, nervous of what he might say to you.

But this apparent nervousness was nowhere to be seen when you had drunk this much. Before you knew it, you found your two feet dragging you to his side, unable to take control of yourself, the drunk you had decided that you had enough.

You slid past the drunk bodies standing in the way of Eddie, your fingertips anxiously fiddling with the bottle, you could barely balance yourself, smushing yourself against the wall near him.

"Hi." You intended for your voice to come out soft but your words were slurred, and Eddie almost stilled when he heard it.

His heart was thudding inside of his chest, he knew you would be at Steve's party, but he never thought you would actually talk to him, not when he had been a complete asshole to you for a while now.

His gaze was avoidant, almost as avoidant as he was and your stomach was churning again, and this time it was not the alcohol.

It was all him.

"Hey." His greeting was short, your mouth had dried up, and the drunk version of you didn't have the tolerance you had for the past week.

Your eyes narrowed as you straightened yourself. "Hey? Is that all you have to fucking say?" You almost snapped, you hadn't meant to sound so sharp, the words left your mouth like word vomit, it probably wasn't fair how you spat them at him, but his coldness to you wasn't fair, either.

You knew once you brought the subject to him there was no turning back, you were afraid of the possibility of him never talking to you again but the liquid in your system gave you enough courage to do what you feared, ripping the band-aid off, and you thought maybe, maybe, ending the friendship would cause you less pain than whatever he was supposed to be doing.

"Hello?" He attempted to joke, and if you weren't this stupidly smitten over him, and maybe a bit buzzed, it wouldn't have worked, but it did. All it took for him to soften you up was a stupid joke, causing you to giggle drunkenly, as you leaned into the wall again.

"Really?" You shook your head, "That's the best you got?" You tilted your head to the side, giving him a warm smile, you couldn't help it, it was the most you had talked with him this week, and you were already putty in his hands, you hated him, and you hated the effect he had on you.

He shrugged, it was obvious he felt more comfortable, his eyes not leaving yours. "Made you laugh, didn't I?" you nodded, you didn't mean to get this soft on him this quickly, but you couldn't help it, not when he made you feel at ease this easily.

You hated and loved how everything with Eddie made you feel at ease, feeling safe with him like you could bring your guard down for once.

You huffed, mind more mellow as you eyed him. "Missed this, ya know?" Your words were slurred again, you knew it wasn't the alcohol talking, but at the same time without it, you never would have had the courage.

Eddie's eyes were glossy and riddled with remorse as they gazed into yours, you could sense it, sense that he was feeling guilty, you bit the inside of your cheek when he looked at you like that.

"What?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Missed this-" you pointed between the two of you, "Just missed being with y-you." You couldn't help it when your words were tangled with each other again, it made you scared to admit any of this, while Eddie just gave you a sigh.

"You're drunk?" He questioned. "Again?" If you didn't know how Eddie had been treating you the past week you'd think he was worried about you, considerate even, but the way his actions changed made you doubt his sincerity.

Eddie had been aware of your new coping mechanism, his mouth felt dry when Steve told him how badly you had been taking Eddie's new demeanor.

"Mhm." You hummed, signaling to the bottle as you attempted to chug it again but Eddie shook his head, quickly taking it away from your hands. You gasped as you straightened yourself. "Rude."

"You will get shit faced and have the worst hangover, and I'm sure you'll curse us out for letting you drink that much." He raised his brows to warn you and you pouted at him like a child.

"You sound just like Nancy." You scoffed, biting back the insult you had at the tip of your tongue about how he decided to care about you now, instead settling on making him chuckle, and just with his laugh, you felt a tinge of pride swell in your chest, it was pathetic how desperate you were for him.

"No fun, I'm crossing you out." You whined as you draw an 'X' in the air, with pouty lips and soft eyes, Eddie had a foolish grin on his face when he was comfortable with you again, almost at peace with how your soul embraced his.

He felt like an asshole, and so fucking stupid for the way he acted, but it was the only thing he knew how to do: running away from his feelings.

"Come on, where the hell have you guys been, we've got some drinking games going on!" You were startled by Robin's loud voice, and as turning to face her, you heard Eddie's groans behind you.

"No way." Eddie shook his head and you threw him a puzzled look.

"No?" You furrowed your brows. "But, you love drinking games."

"Yeah, you love drinking games. Don't be a buzzkill, Munson." Robin interrupted, she shot a look at Eddie that made him confused but intrigued, and he couldn't say no when the two of you dragged him to where everyone else was gathered.

You sat down next to him and felt your hazy drunken state get worse, it was as if everything was becoming all too real.

Realizing that the conversation you just had with him meant nothing, not after he had been avoiding you for a week, and now your mind was swirled with the thoughts of what was going to happen when you two finally had 'the talk', anxiety riddling over your body again.

"What game are we playing?" You asked in an attempt to shake off your thoughts, it didn't help when Eddie's gaze landed on you and you could feel your cheeks burning with his gaze alone, causing you to chew on your bottom lip out of nervousness.

"We just played endless rounds of 'Never Have I Ever'" Nancy sighed, almost annoyed.

"Turns out Steve the King is bit of a slut." Robin semi-whispered as Steve gasped, holding his heart to be dramatic.

"Really, Robin?" He furrowed his brows. "Well, it's not my fault you hooked up with the half of—" Robin was interrupted by Eddie's groan.

"C'mon you guys let's just play whatever this is and get on with it." His voice sounded annoyed, you turned to face him, but Eddie was already avoiding your gaze again, he looked nervous, and you wanted to roll your eyes, he was being an asshole, again.

You could feel anger bubbling up inside of your chest, and Robin could feel the tension in the air. "Okayy, truth or dare it is!" Robin interrupted with a nervous giggle.

"I thought we were playing Never Have I Ever-" You were shut up by Robin's shushes.

"Yes and now we switched to Truth or Dare, keep up, sweetheart." You furrowed your brows and giggled, turning to Steve as if to ask what was wrong with Robin, but Steve put his hands up in defense, shrugging.

Something weird was going on and you couldn't put a finger on it, and to be honest, your mind was too fuzzy to figure any of it out, filled both with alcohol and the thoughts of Eddie. Robin grabbed the bottle and spun it around the circle, the anticipation of it made her fiddle in her place, and when it landed on Steve, she groaned.

"Steve! I think you should pick truth, are you a virgin? Oh wait, you are not! Let me spin it again." Robin talked so fast that even Eddie threw her a look, you were usually used to her fast-paced actions but she was giving you a whiplash now.

"Robin, what the hell are you—" Eddie's words were cut short by Robin's shriek.

"Wow! It landed on Eddie, what a surprise." Robin rubbed her hands together almost like a villain in a cartoon.

"So, truth or dare, Eddie? Oh, also you can't say truth because Steve just picked that." Robin hit her hand against her forehead in a fake manner, and you giggled again at her actions, unaware of what was coming next.

"Okaa...ay, dare?" Eddie asked unsurely, and Robin mimicked a thinking face, you had no idea what was coming next, but you doubted anything Robin would dare him to do could fix whatever was going on with Eddie.

"I dare you to..." She paused for a minute.

"Go into that closet and not come out until you and Y/N make out." Robin's words were like a slap on your face, and she had that stupid grin on her face that you wanted to wipe off.

"Excuse me?" The two of you said in unison and you were afraid to look at him now.

"I mean... a dare is a dare." Steve shrugged, and Robin nodded quickly causing you to sigh.

"You are a child, Robin." You threw her a death stare, your mind was still hazy as you began to get up, and Eddie was still where he was sitting, he twisted his rings, an action you knew he did when he was nervous.

"Well, are you just going to wait around all day?" You snapped, not knowing what came over you when you were this drunk.

"You're okay with this?" Eddie's face was almost red as he looked up at you, hating the way a nervous tingle formed in your stomach with how he looked at you.

"It's just a d—dare, let's get it over with." You meant to sound confident but your words came out as a murmur.

"This is so stupid." He scoffed as he followed you into the closet, Robin following up behind the two of you. She locked the door when the two of you entered and she sent you a smirk before she did so, making you scoff.

"I swear I'm going to kill her." You said sharply, turning your back on the door.

When you finally faced Eddie you realized how close he was standing to your face, his tall figure towering over you was enough to make your breath hitch.

"Hi." was all he muttered as he looked down on you, making you realize how much you missed the warmth of his soft gaze and you hated yourself for how enamored you were with him.

"Hi." You managed to let out when you caught your breath, the room felt suffocating, and you could barely swallow the lump in your throat.

The possibility of him kissing you made you want to scream, both from excitement and fear.

"So... we have to kiss?" He said awkwardly, scratching his head, almost as if it were a question and you nodded quickly, knowing he was too nervous to make the first move so you had to take matters into your own hands.

"What's the big deal? It's just a kiss. We've been best friends for years, we can do it." You said, with a nonchalant tone, but the hint of nervousness was still visible.

"Let's just do it!" You announced excitedly, "kiss me, Edward Munson!" Eddie chuckled at that, making you realize how much you had missed that genuine laugh.

"Edward..." He tilted his head, "Really?" He raised a brow, causing you to pout.

"Yeah." You giggled softly, offering him a smile, knowing how much he hated someone saying his full name, he gave you a light chuckle.

“Okay, yeah, I think I deserved that." He attempted to joke, the air still tense but filled with your giggles.

"Let's do this...” Eddie added cooly, his hands at his side as he leaned towards you, licking his lips.

“Why are you licking your lips?” You questioned, making Eddie chuckle, as he stopped leaning in further.

"Should I not?" He raised a brow, "I mean do you want dry lips?” He asked sarcastically and you shook your head chuckling.

"No, no!" You protested, face burning from embarrassment. "Never mind..." You chuckled.

“I didn’t think it was—” Eddie started but you interrupted, “No.. no it’s okay.. I just..” You were a stuttering mess now.

"Let’s do it.. I—I’m ready.” His tone was soft when he spoke, he was less nervous and you nodded frantically.

You started leaning in but then abruptly stopped, making Eddie furrow his brows.

“Do you want tongue? Are you like a tonguer?” You asked, your face was serious and Eddie's eyes widened.

“Am I a what?” Eddie asked baffled as you chuckled, shaking your head.

"Fuck..." You cursed, giggles errupting in your throat from nervousness. "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant—" You were babbling, your heart hammering inside of your chest.

"I mean do you like tongue in kissing? I just— I wouldn’t wanna use tongue if you don’t want to..." You trailed off.

“Let’s just do it!” Eddie exclaimed interrupting as you let out another giggle, your nerves were getting the best of you.

“Yes, sorry. Are you ready?” You asked, weight of anticipation settling heavily in your chest as Eddie nodded, “Yes.. I’m ready.. let’s just do this..” Eddie let out slowly, scratching his head from nervousness as you nodded once again.

You barely moved when he leaned towards you, almost frozen in place you stared at him, stared at the sickly sweet brown of his eyes, stared at his dark hair that messily laid on his forehead, and you couldn't help it when your eyes lowered down to gaze at his lips, adoring the curve of his mouth.

Your gaze was stuck on him in a way that made your eyes glimmer with an array of emotions, not knowing if this would be your first and last kiss with him, trying your best to etch this sight of him into your mind forever, unsure of whether you could ever see him up this close again.

and as if Eddie could read your mind, he realized, he realized the weight of how you were staring at him. With more he studied your face, the connection between the two of you deepened, unraveling what he most wanted. You.

“Fuck— You.. you can’t do that!” He exclaimed, desperately, and you knitted your brows in confusion, “What... what did I do?” Eddie was being ridiculous now.

"Jesus Christ, you can't just do that to me." His face was burning up, he thought maybe, that this dare would be good for him, maybe the best way to get over his feelings was to kiss you for once, but the way your eyes glimmered was enough to make him want to stare at you forever, and he couldn't do that when he was trying to keep his feelings for you bottled up, forever.

Now, he was regretting the dare as he could feel the pressure building and you looked so pretty that Eddie felt his heart sink in his body, if he kissed you, he knew he couldn't contain his feelings for you no longer, he sighed, shaking his head.

“You can't do that thing with your eyes and face!” He exclaimed as you scoffed, “What the hell are you talking about?” You almost yelled, getting frustrated by his stand-offish attitude.

“Okay that’s it.. I— I can’t do it!” He huffed as he reached for the doorknob, struggling with it.

“Let me out guys!” Eddie yelled but Robin just chuckled, “You have to kiss her, you idiot!”

“Let me out of here, Robin!” He yelled louder this time, but instead of Robin answering this time Steve, Nancy, Argyle, Jonathan, and the gathered crowd answered to him, chanting “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” and Eddie rolled his eyes, cursing.

“Oh come on Eddie, let’s just do this! Just one kiss!” You said annoyed, and you felt a bit rejected at how much he wanted to leave.

Eddie turned around to meet your gaze, “No, I’m not gonna fucking kiss you.” His words were bitter and you bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from crying in front of him.

“Eddie we've been best friends for four years! A little kiss isn’t gonna change anything.” The words that left your mouth stung him, it wasn't easy on you but the emphasis on the two of you being best friends and how a kiss wouldn't change a thing between the two of you was the exact reason he was avoiding you.

Eddie knew if you had rejected him, and told him that you didn't reciprocate his feelings, it would eventually lead to the two of you not being friends.

And he couldn't handle that idea, he couldn't handle not being around you. That's why he tried to stay away from you, just so he could contain his feelings for you, at least for a while.

His gaze on you was agonizing, “Stop looking at me like that.” He muttered as you rolled your eyes, and crossed your arms around your chest, annoyed.

“God, will you just kiss me already!” You blurted out, now getting annoyed with him, not being able to comprehend why Eddie was making such a big deal out of this when it was just supposed to be a dare.

"No."

“Why not?” You questioned, eager to know why he had been acting this way, Eddie ran his hands across his hair, ruffling it before he gripped your shoulders to get your attention fully, “Because..." He took a deep breath as he put his trembling hands into his back pockets, he was trying to hold himself back, but he couldn't, not when you looked at him that way.

"Because I don't want to kiss you like this!” He almost snapped, his feelings taking over before his logic could, and you went rigid with his words.

His own reaction was delayed as his eyes widened at his own words, and he was standing close to you, so close, that your breath hitched when he said that. “What.. what does that mean?”  Your head was spinning as Eddie looked down, almost as if he was embarrassed.

“Nothing! I didn’t— I just... That’s not what I fucking meant..” Eddie stuttered over his words, he felt like his desperation had trickled into the very air he was breathing in, his own words suffocating him and your gaze mocking him, he couldn't handle it further as people outside the closet started chanting “Kiss! Kiss!” again.

Eddie scoffed again, “Shit— just, excuse me..” He cursed out as he tried the doorknob again.

“What are you doing?” You asked curiously, you wanted to talk to him now.

“Just need some air” He murmured and tried the door again.

“Robin, just open up!” Eddie yelled out making Robin groan, “Did you kiss her?” Eddie rolled his eyes, and he got ready to curse Robin out but you placed your hands over his mouth, shushing him.

“Yes, yes Robin! We fucking did, we even french kissed! You happy?” You yelled out as Robin giddily chuckled unlocking the door.

You threw her a dead stare as Eddie just brushed past her, hurrying his way out and you followed quickly behind him.

"Eddie, just wait!" You called out after him, you were curious to know what he meant, why he was acting this way, none of it was making sense to you and you were still very buzzed.

"Just leave me the fuck alone, Y/N." He didn't even turn around to face you and it hurt.

"No! I'm not going to fucking run away this time." You yelled, catching up to him, and Eddie turned around swiftly.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, his tone curious and not annoyed like before.

"I'm not playing your stupid game anymore, I don't care if you tell me you hate me, Eddie, just tell me what's wrong, tell me what I did to make you push me away this much. You can insult me and tell me to 'fucking leave' but I won't leave until you tell me to my face what I did to make you push me away, you fucking coward!" You spat out the words, rolling your shoulders as you felt your anger coming out to the surface.

Eddie rubbed his hands against his face, you were asking for him to be vulnerable, and he knew that if he opened up to you, you would probably laugh in his face.

"I just—" He scoffed, "I don't wanna do this. Not right now." He sighed, and he drooped his head, his gaze fixated on the ground now.

"Just tell me what the fuck is wrong, Eddie." You almost yelled, feeling your face hot with anger. "What did you mean by when you said you didn't want to kiss me like this?"

"And why have you been avoiding me, why can't you even look me in the fucking eye right now?" To say you were frustrated would be an understatement, liquid courage had worked a little too well and you were pouring your gut out to him.

You crossed your arms against your chest, feeling your cheeks burning up with anger, you were filled with fury, and nothing Eddie could do was going to change that.

In fact, it made it worse when he kept avoiding his gaze. "Fuck you." You spat out, index finger pointed towards him, hostility written all over your face, your feet picked you up before your mind realized, and you brushed past him as you angrily left his side.

"Just— fucking wait!" His words rang in your ears but you didn't care, you kept walking while Eddie was right behind you.

"Let me just explain!" He yelled out after you. "Jesus— you're fucking fast." He added as he tried to catch up to you.

You stopped in your tracks, and your back was turned to him. "Eddie, just get it over with." You crossed your arms against your chest again, feeling your insides twist as you waited for him to pull the band-aid off.

"What?" He raised his brows in confusion, and you didn't dare to look at him.

"You realized it, didn't you? I mean it took me a while to realize it myself." Your voice was timid, not trusting yourself enough that you wouldn't break down completely in front of him.

"And you realized you didn't reciprocate them, and you're trying to let me off easy by avoiding me." You could feel tears prickling your eyes but you shook your head to make them go away.

"I know you hate confrontation." Your voice was cracking now, and Eddie hated it, he hated being the reason you were about to cry, he hated being the reason you doubted yourself because of him.

"What are you talking about? Reciprocating what?" He didn't dare to turn you to face him, he was still shocked at the possibility of what you were hinting at.

"Feelings, Eddie. My fucking feelings for you!" You turned around to face him now, and his eyes had softened, he blinked slowly to process what you were saying. The air between the two of you was filled with unspoken emotions, your body ridden with anticipation and anxiety.

But Eddie felt stupid, so fucking stupid. He spent this whole week bottling up his feelings for you, and avoiding you to do so because he thought he wasn't good enough for you, he thought you would actually mock him.

He should've known you would never do that, he should've told the insecure voice in his head to shut the fuck up.

Because there you were in front of him, saying exactly what he was feeling, and he felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

"Your... what?" His eyebrows furrowed, and he wanted to laugh, he wanted to laugh at how stupid he was being.

"Just— let's just pretend this never happened." You could barely look at him, nervously fiddling with your fingers.

"Nope." He shook his head.

There was no fucking way he would pretend this had never happened, he had been waiting, for years to tell you how he felt, every night he would give himself a pep talk, encouraging himself to finally open up to you, but when he finally saw you in the morning, and you gave him that warm smile and those doe-eyes, he always backed out, scared of losing you forever.

"No fucking way." He shook his head, and a chuckle escaped his lips.

The look you threw him was filled with disdain, "Oh, so this is funny to you?" You were quick to judge him, turning around and muttering curse words as your feet began to pick up again.

"Jesus Christ, will you let me speak!" He yelled out again and you shook your head, walking faster. Eddie scoffed, "So. Fucking. Stubborn." He muttered under his breath.

He caught up to you once again and this time he reached out to your free hand, and he grabbed it in a tight firm, spinning you around to face him, you were about to cuss him out again, and throw him a death glare, but his gaze was so gentle that you couldn't help it, your eyes were mellow, sickly sweet, as they met his.

Your heart reacted before you could, thumping in your chest. Eddie was leaning so close towards you that you sensed his heavy breathing against your face, you didn't dare to move, not until his tender fingertips brushed against your cheeks, he leaned over so agonizingly slow that you couldn't help but close the gap between the two of you, soft lips clashing with each other as you whimpered the second your mouth met his.

Eddie's chest fizzled with warmness, the smell of your perfume mixed with alcohol dizzying him while your head was still pounding as you were trying to process what was happening, there wasn't enough air in the world for your lungs to pull in.

You deepened the kiss when Eddie's hands slowly cupped your cheeks, parting your lips as his tongue explored yours, shuddering at his touch.

Your brain didn't process any of it, not until the initial shock wore off, that's when you pulled back slightly, catching your breath as you blinked confusedly at him, unable to find the words to speak.

Eddie licked his lips as they twitched to form a smile, speaking up before you could. “In the closet.. when. I said I didn’t wanna kiss you like that... I meant that I wanted something like this..”  He gave you a slight chuckle as you returned it with a warm smile.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted." He gulped, feeling guilty for his actions in the past weeks, but he always poorly reacted to things that involved his feelings.

"I thought if I just stayed away from you, if I just pushed you away for a while, I could bottle up my feelings for you and—"

"You have feelings for me?" You asked, interrupting, eyes widening despite the kiss being undeniable proof of that but you still couldn't believe it, you still couldn't believe that the man you had been in love with was actually reciprocating the feelings you harbored, the feelings you tried so hard to contain inside of you.

"Are you kidding? Of course, I do." Eddie affirmed. "I mean how could I not?" He chuckled, pointing towards you. "Jesus, you're so beautiful, so fucking pretty..." he flashed you a mischievous smile.

"You're nice, and god, so fucking kind that it makes me sick sometimes. And shit— you get along with Wayne so well, I think he thinks of you more as his kid than me at this point." You gave him a light chuckle.

"Also... you are funny sometimes too." He added, giving you a light nudge with his shoulder as you pointed towards yourself mouthing 'Little old me?' sarcastically, making him smile.

"Fuck— if it wasn't for you, I'd be so lost, sweetheart. I'm so glad you came into my life." Your heart warmed at his words, gaze softening as your lips twitched into a smile.

"And you're always fucking there for me... even when I don't deserve it." He nervously fiddled with his fingers, he didn't deserve someone as perfect as you.

"Like right now, even though I've been an asshole, avoiding you, and even more of an asshole in the closet, you still came after me." He looked down, embarrassed that he had pushed you away, he knew you deserved better, so much better.

"You didn't deserve any of it, you just deserve every fucking good thing there is, and I'm just none of those things." You shook your head, opening your mouth to speak but Eddie didn't let you.

"Can you even picture it? You and me together? You— god, you are so fucking perfect." Your heart pounded against your chest, the rhythm of it erratic and suffocating because of his painful words, if only he knew how much you loved him.

"I'm just me, Eddie. I'm fucked up, a 'freak', a fucking drug dealer." Deep lines etched his forehead, he chuckled bitterly, and your heart throbbed at him describing himself as anything but good.

"I guess I just decided I wasn't good enough for you. Fuck— I chickened out." He eyed you nervously, and what he didn't expect was you slapping him on the shoulder, harshly.

"Ow!" He yelped, "Eddie never, ever make decisions on my part ever again." You chided him and he nodded quickly, "Jesus, that hurt."

"Good, because I also don't allow you to speak that way about yourself either, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me Eddie and I mean it. You're not fucked up." You affirmed him.

"God, you really are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Eddie. I don't think I've ever been happier, or more comfortable with anyone but you, you helped me realize so much about myself and have been there with me through everything." You didn't blink once, and Eddie's mouth was agape, he couldn't believe that someone —and not just anyone, you— saw him as anything more than a fuck up.

"I love you, Eddie, and I mean it, I love you so fucking much." You added, your eyes glimmering. "I can't stop thinking about you, ever... and it physically hurt being away from you for just one fucking week."

"I'm sorry for that..." He muttered again, embarrassed. "I love you so fucking much, honey. And I promise I'll never do something as dumb as this again." He gave you a warm smile, and his fingertips were gentle as they grazed over your cheeks.

You tilted your head in hesitation, "Yeah, I doubt it." You giggled, and Eddie squished your cheeks in response.

"God, you're so lucky that you're so pretty and so lucky that I fucked up big time because I will agree with you on whatever you say for the next few days." Eddie's lips formed a smirk and you raised a brow, "I'm thinking for the next month." You pursed your lips sarcastically.

Eddie chuckled and leaned in once again to kiss you, "Whatever my pretty girl wants." He murmured into your lips.

You whimpered again when your lips touched, both of you groaned when you were interrupted by Nancy's voice.

"See, I told you it would work!" Nancy pointed towards to two of you kissing as Robin and Steve almost gasped.

Robin turned to Nancy crossing her arms against her chest all-knowingly, "Yeah but it wasn't working a minute ago when they were yelling at each oth-" Robin's words were cut short by the glare Eddie and you threw at Robin.

"Sorry!" She yelled out, giving a sheepish smile, making you laugh.

"So, this was all you?" You asked, pointing towards Nancy, but before she could answer Robin scoffed.

"As if I didn't put your stubborn asses in that closet!" She mocked. The puzzle pieces of Robin acting weird all night coming to you and Eddie at the same time.

"You guys are all idiots." Eddie huffed, but his smile never faltered, and the three of them knew that was his way of gratitude.

You turned towards them with a sheepish smile on your face mouthing a 'thank you' to Robin and Nancy, and giving Steve a thumbs up, they waved you off as if to say 'No problem', and you turned to Eddie again.

"Eventful night, huh?" He asked, a smirk playing on his lips, and you gave him a playful nudge. "Shut up."

"So... you ready to go home?" Eddie asked as he threw an arm around your shoulder, you nodded, melting into his comfortable hold.

"Mhmm." You hummed, as he pressed a kiss on your hair. "I love you, pretty girl." He murmured.

[yeollie-plz]

Cat and Mouse

A post for @itwasntimethatdidit40 for the Pedrostories Secret Santa event!

Joel Miller x F! Reader

Synopsis: Joel hates you. You hate Joel. But maybe you don't?

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: not really any Ellie, Christmas themes, hatred, mentions of alcohol, miscommunication

All gif credits to owners!

Winter in Jackson was cozy. Fires burned and snow padded the ground. Although, Christmas had lost a bit of it's magic after the outbreak, everyone in Jackson worked hard to still bring a bit of warmth to the holiday season.

There were parties and gift exchanges. Most gifts were handmade but that meant more anyways. This year they decided to have a "Secret Santa" event and you got the worst possible option. Joel Miller.

The man was impossible. Cold, calculated, and didn't really give a damn about anyone but himself. And, maybe, his brother. Besides not knowing what to get him, you never really liked the man to begin with.

And it seemed the sentiment was equal, because anytime you were near him he'd seem to distance himself or brush you off like you didn't exist. That was the beginning of your loathing of Joel Miller. His constant obsession with pretending you weren't standing right there. Like you weren't actively trying to have a conversation with him.

Then there was the looks. The sideways looks he'd give you, then when you'd notice them he'd scoff and look away like he hadn't just been boring holes into the back of your neck.

It was irritating, so after a few months of this cat and mouse you came to the conclusion that you in fact hated Joel Miller.

So, when you drew his name from the raggedy Santa hat Tommy was excitedly holding out to you, you couldn't help but let your face drop. Out of all the people in Jackson, why him?

Tommy seemed to notice the change in your disposition, because his smile faded as well, instead his face turned into question. You wiped the disappointment off of yours and smiled up at him the best you could muster. Trying your best to brush off what you knew would be a never ending string of questions. Tommy would never be able to understand your hatred of his brother and it wasn't worth the pushing that was bound to come.

So instead, you went to Maria, convinced that she would know what to get her brother-in-law for Christmas. But as you asked Maria, she shrugged and said that she didn't know much about him either.

"He's a secretive man." Maria said simply, as she scrubbed the dishes in her sink. You sighed at her response and left soon after.

As you made your way home you contemplated what you would do. After much thought you came down with two options: observe Joel as much as you could in the next week or attempt to talk to him.

The second option obviously wasn't your favorite option and it would be a bit suspicious. Especially because for the better part of the past year, you'd been actively avoiding him as well.

So, observing him it was.

Five days past of watching Joel Miller. You didn't think he had caught on but honestly you didn't care much. You would watch him during dinner or follow him to the bar. You kept a distance and would talk to people to make it seem less obvious.

And even after all that you were still drawing a bit of a blank. That was until tonight.

You were currently standing leaning against the wall of the bar. A glass in one hand as you watched Joel sit at the bar top. He got what he always got and sat there as silent as he always did. The man was almost too routine, too boring.

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your drink. Just as you were bringing the glass back down you noticed Joel was no longer sitting at the bar.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you glanced around a bit trying to see where he ran off too. That's when a gruff voice spoke right into your ear, "You've been following me, darlin'"

You swallowed harshly, it was Joel, standing right behind you, talking right in your ear. Even worse, he had caught onto your stalking. You turned around to face him.

"What?" You did your best to feign ignorance, but you knew you couldn't fool him.

He let out a half scoff and smirked at you. "Don't play dumb. I've noticed your little game. What's got you so interested little mouse?"

Now it was your turn to scoff, "Little mouse? Isn't it the cat that usually chases the mouse not the other way around?"

"Fine, sugar, lets say you're the cat. What's got you so curious?"

"Not you." You say simply and take another sip of your drink, turning back to scan the bar as if you were waiting for someone.

"You're not fooling anyone, you know?" Joel said directly into your ear again and stalked off. Leaving the bar completely and leaving you absolutely dumbfounded.

That was the most words Joel Miller had ever said to you.

The conversation somehow brought to light to what you were going to give Joel for Christmas. Although you still knew little to nothing about the man, you did have a bit of an evil idea for a gift. He was so convinced he was the cat, you were going to give him something that would solidify him as the mouse.

So now you were sat in your living room sewing together some leftover gray yarn into the shape of a mouse. This wasn't the most work you'd put into a gift before but it sure was more than you'd like to put in for Joel. But now you were determined to see the look on his face when he opened it.

Attaching a makeshift key ring to the knit mouse, you smiled at your handiwork. Eat it, Joel Miller, you are the mouse in this game.

When the Christmas party came around, you were getting a bit excited about your gift. You put it into a little box with some crafted paper bow to try and make it look a bit festive and left it on the gift table as discreetly as possible. You figured Joel would know quickly who his Secret Santa was but that didn't mean you still didn't want a bit of an element of surprise.

The party continued for about an hour as the rest of the off duty members of Jackson filtered in. When it seemed as if most had arrived, Tommy called into the crowd, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Maria patted him on the shoulder in thanks and addressed the room.

You watched as Maria gave a bit of a speech about how this past year has been, but you were too distracted by watching for Joel. He had yet to arrive and you really wanted to see the look on his face when he opened his gift.

Just as Maria was finishing her speech and beginning to explain a bit about Secret Santa, Joel slithered into the room. He slipped in so quickly you almost didn't notice. But as he leaned against the wall close to the door, you scanned his appearance.

Normally he wasn't very put together but there was something different about this Joel. His shirt seemed freshly pressed and his hair was styled a bit differently than usual. He almost looked han-

You snapped yourself out of your thoughts? Were you seriously just about to think that? About Joel Miller?

Dragging your eyes back over to Maria, you tried to distract yourself from the weird thoughts you had just had, afraid you might puke if you were to dwell on them too long. Maria finishes speaking quickly and crosses the room to the present table to help hand out the gifts.

Joel was now standing near the table, you weren't sure when he had moved, but you also didn't care. He stood on the other side of the table, eyes following you as you settled into the crowd surrounding it. His hands in his pockets as he looked you up in down.

You gave him a sideways glance, but were drawn out of it by someone calling your name. It was Maria holding out a small burlap sack to you. You took it with a grateful smile and moved back into the crowd a bit. Trying to distance yourself from the people, or Joel, you weren't too sure.

So, in your secluded corner, you untied the twine around the sack and pulled out your gift. It was a piece of whittled wood in the shape off...a cat? It was definitely a cat.

Your eyes snapped up only to be met with Joel's deep brown ones. He held up your knit mouse and shook it a bit, a knowing look donning his face.

You didn't do anything, just stood there in shock. Not only did Joel as have you as his giftee, he had given you almost the same gift. And it was as handmade as yours was.

Dropping the wooden cat back into its bag, you shoved the item into your pocket and made your way through the crowd. The minute you were met with the crisp winter air outside, you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

"It's cold out here, sugar." It was Joel, right behind you again. Sneaking up on you again.

"Joel." The words were almost a whisper as they fell from your lips.

The two of you sat in silence for a second. He had saddled up next to you, no words broke the coldness in the air. No one looked at the other. Just the sound of breathing and the whistle in the wind.

Until he let out a sigh, "You really do hate me huh?"

"What?" You weren't sure what you were expecting him to say, it just wasn't that. Yes, you hated him but you never thought you'd have to explain that to someone. Especially not him. Especially when you thought it was a mutual feeling.

"You hate me, don't you?" He said matter-of-factly, like he already knew your answer.

"I-" You stumbled over your words.

"It's alright, I already figured as much." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, Merry Christmas."

And with that he left you alone, standing there confused.

The next week, Joel was almost nowhere to be found. He barely came to eat and never came out to the bar anymore. You weren't missing him but you sure were noticing.

Half of you was nervous it had something to do with you. You never meant to hurt his feelings. No matter how much you didn't care for the man, you still didn't want him to feel hurt.

So, at the end of the week, you decided to be the bigger person and go to his house. You were both adults after all. Not everyone liked everyone and he would just have to get over that.

With a deep breath that led to a sigh, you knocked at Joel's door. And as you sat there in the cold, you almost wished he didn't answer it.

But as the door crept open and Joel came into to view, your confidence faltered a bit. His brows furrowed when he caught sight of you, obviously confused on why you were here.

You didn't give him a chance to ask and began to go through your practiced speech instead. "We are both adults. We didn't talk much before this, obviously didn't like each other but after you asked and didn't even let me answer, you've been absent. It's not like you avoiding me is anything different than before, it's just more intense this time. We are grown, we can accept the fact that we hate each other, without avoiding each other like we are some stupid high schoolers."

He gave you a minute to make sure you were done. You caught your breath, obviously saying all of that in one go. And as you gave him a look as if to finally say something, that's when he took the hint and did.

"I don't hate you."

That is not what you thought you'd hear after all that. You thought maybe he'd yell back, start some sort of argument. Or maybe even call you an idiot and slam the door in your face. But that? That was unexpected.

As if your shock was obvious, he repeated himself, "I don't hate you." This time the tone was even more serious than prior.

"What?"

He laughs this time, knowing he has to repeat himself once again.

"I don't hate you, sugar, quite the opposite actually. And I haven't been avoiding you, Tommy asked me to cover some of his shifts so I've just had a bit of a different schedule than usual."

"You-you what? Your schedule?"

He laughed at your reaction, "Yes, my schedule. Although it is very endearing you thought it had something to do with you. Trust me, darlin', if I could see that pretty face every second of the day, I would."

Now if you weren't shocked before, this would've been the frosting on the cake. You were now in a state of shock you hadn't been in since the beginning of the outbreak. Not only did Joel Miller, the center of your hatred for the better part of a year, just admitted you were alone in that hatred. But he also said you were pretty in the same sentiment.

He seemed to sense your lack of being able to form words, so he continued.

"I've never hated you. I just never knew how to handle my emotions. Didn't know how to do that even before the world went to shit, let alone now when no one can trust anyone. I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable so I avoided you and trust me it was hard because sometimes I just to tell you everything."

"You-you never hated me. You never wanted to avoid me. I've hated you on my own? I spent all this time hating you over a miscommunication?"

"And you were standing there telling me not to act like a high schooler."

You gave him a warning look to which he held up his arms in surrender.

"I'm just saying, you could've came storming up to my door sooner and I wouldn't have complained. Although, I'm not sure I would've had the confidence to say all of what I just said." He looked down at his feet. You had never seen Joel Miller nervous before.

"So what you're saying is I should probably stop hating you and maybe have a conversation or two?"

"Something like that. It is Christmas time after all. Isn't that perfect time for new friends?"

"I guess it is. Alright Joel Miller, you get a second chance, don't waste it."

"I won't." His words were almost a whisper as if he didn't believe you agreed so easily.

You turned and walked down the steps that led to his front door. He watched you intently as you did.

But just as you crossed the icy path of his front lawn, you turned back around to look at him. Only half surprised to see him still standing there.

"You know?" You called out to him. "Maybe you were the cat all along."

A/N: And there she is! Another @pedrostories Secret Santa down in the books! So grateful to them for doing this once again this year! I haven't been writing this past year as much as I'd like to be but this gave me the inspo I needed to get myself motivated!

To my giftee, V, I hope you have an amazing holiday season and Christmas. I hope you enjoy this story! Thank you!