#let's just appreciate the much needed spotlight Izzy's character is going to get in the fandom

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

I know we talk about Izzy antis all the time, but let's talk about regular fans of the show who're indifferent to Izzy, or maybe enjoy him just a little in a "he makes for a good antagonist" way but nothing more, or dislike him in a normal way - as in, he's just not their cup of tea and that's ok - but don't go out of their way to harass those who feel differently.

Let's talk about those OFMD fans because many of them are gonna fall into the Izzy Canyon so hard this season. And I'm so excited and happy for them. Nothing compares to that feeling of "wtf how did this show managed to turn this character into my favourite character??" Let's make them feel welcome. Let's remember that it's ok to dislike a character or feel indifferent towards them, and then start liking them as they grow and change. That's the entire point of character development, after all. I hope other Izzy Enjoyers aren't too jaded from dealing with Izzy antis to accept some (or, hopefully, a lot) of fans changing their mind about him. I know we're gonna see a ton of posts along the lines of "you only liked him after be became better, I liked him when he was at his worst, we are not the same", and tbh I'm very much in for it, but only tongue in cheek. I really hope our little corner of the fandom is going to be mature enough not to stoop down to petty gatekeeping. We're better than this.

[fanfictionbymimnim]

Mlp make your mark chapter 2 thoughts because I just binged it and I wanna talk :

- The characters are kind of annoying at the moment, but also they all have so much room to grow and I'm really hoping we get slow but steady character development. Pipp and Hitch in particular need a reality check, but they have good intentions and weirdly are my favourites?

- Why is Sprout not in prison

- Opaline is just,,,, sooo badly written lmao. Like, I get that this is supposed to be a kids show but it really wouldn't have been hard to move her from campy to creepy. If she could actually be a bit more manipulative insteaf of the narrative just telling us that she is, I'd like it a lot more

- Like the thing with the mirror- how was Sunny not suspicious ? They so clearly were not her thoughts. If Opaline had been kind and understanding it would have made more sense as to why Sunny was listening

- I actually really love the tie-ins with G4. The mystery and the wanting to know exactly what happened is really keeping me hooked, and I appreciate that we have a character actively investigating it

- speaking of Zipp, I am getting major trans vibes. I doubt Hasbro will let them go there, but I want a whole part of Zipp's "figuring herself out" to be figuring out her gender

- that could tie in to why she's so uncomfortable with being in the spotlight if she's uncomfortable with how she looks and sounds

- I love Zipp and Pip's dynamic, although I do wish that Pipp had apologised more in their episode. Pipp is always on her phone and does kind of make everything about her, and as much I love her she needs to go touch grass. The show has made some jokes about her need for validation through clicks though, so hopefully we'll touch more on that later?

- Misty is amazing and I am on Misty redemption arc train

- oh, the dragon is there too I guess, he's kind of annoying but can be a useful tool to explore Hitch's relationship to family. I definitely think that Hitch is an orphan now, with the whole "the town is my family," and "I just want to be a good dragon-pony-dad." I'm getting major "I just want to be there for him like my paremts weren't for me," vibes, but they just couldn't put that in a kid's show

- 3D Twilight was a nice suprise, and looked better than I was expecting

- Opaline's design is just,,, why. It's so bad. People have said this before, but damn, it just doesn't work?? Like, what is that hairstyle? Wouldn't it block her hearing and be super uncomfortable? And the coat vs the mane colour? It doesn't go, at all???

-Sunny angst was very good, and I like Sunny having to figure out how to deal with her new popularity

-Are we gonna address Pipp's creative block and wanting to please her fans? No? Okay

- Zipp I love you but please get a brain cell

- Sunny has the only brain cell of the group, everyone please listen to her

-Do ponies still get cutie marks when they discover a talent at a young age? Also, how does earth pony magic actually work? Can unicorns only do telekinesis now?

-I kind of feel like Pegasi now have the short end of the stick, if Earth ponies get cool growing powers and Unicorns cam also manipulate plants with their magic

-Twilight hid equestria? Why?

- Poor Izzy spent the entire show looking exhausted, she needs to calm down and have a nap

-Anyway, this show was good, not like imcredible, but it definitely has sparked my interest and I want more and would also like spme fanfic but sadly there doesn't seem to be a huge amount, at least, not on ao3. Guess I should check fimfiction.net although I haven't touched it in years

[normal-thoughts-official]

Thots on a figure skating au??? 🅱️lease

hmmmmmmm ok so disclaimer that i know nothing about figure skating so i'm just making up whatever

you got me in a difficult position here cuz on the one hand, i'd love for magnus to be a trainer/coreographer. i think it suits him wonderfully and that while obviously he is great at dancing and loves it, i think that he's more on the creative side of things, you know? so i could imagine something like figure skater alec and trainer magnus. and like alec is a shadowhunter so of course that demands a high level of control over your body that is similar to a figure skater's

but at the same time its funny to me to try to imagine alec figure skating when hes a fucking giant like that because like hes so big?? and when ur big like that ur kind of like... mandatorily graceless and clumsy to a degree methinks (not in a like oh hes always tripping and blushing way, more like the "you're on my leg, you asshole" blooper), because things aren't made for you. like really its an actual matter of accessibility sometimes, especially if you actually have the proportions of a real person like alec does (well, except for the yaoi mcfuckhands. they look big even compared to the rest of his ridiculous body he just b standing there and im like christ edward fingerhands we get it) cuz then Everything Is Bigger Than It Should ya feel

so yeah i can't really imagine alec in like, spandex being all graceful and shit, but at the same time rationally i could imagine that for his character, but also no. so i can't really go with that idea without laughing

but also i can't imagine him as a trainer/coreographer and i don't know who the fuck else is involved with figure skating anyway so is alec like, the janitor or some shit???? some fucking basketball player who sees him at the olympics??? lord help me i have no idea

OK SO IT'S BEEN LIKE 5 MONTHS SINCE I FIRST PUT THE FIRST PART OF THIS ANSWER IN MY DRAFTS (rip anon im so sorry) and i THINK i got it!!! alec could be like, the uhh personal trainer? physical trainer? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN like the one dedicated to making sure the figure skater's body is. capable of. dancing. idk how to explain it but you do get it don't you??? ok

i'm mostly going off my dancing experience here (i had dance classes for like, 10 years of my life, and ugh i miss it) and like besides dancing you always have to train like lifting and doing localized training and stuff because you can't really dance if you don't have strength and flexibility and stamina and all that stuff. the only time i would willingly work out was for dancing lmao especially when i was in my hiphop crew. anyway

and while for me the one responsible for that part of training was the same person as my teacher/coreographer (or when i was doing hiphop it was just. on me to do that lmao but i'm not complaining) i figure when you're a professional and not just a dumb kid that's probably two different people, right? if not it is now. idc

i could go with figure skater magnus and trainer alec but also im really feeling the dynamics of coreographer magnus and trainer alec? like it'd be cute/funny to see them trying to work together for that ya know. so sorry that this feels less like a figure skating au especially since it took me so long to answer it but aaa

but also i mean as a coreographer magnus would have to know how to do it obviously so you would most definitely get a figure skating magnus. alec going to close up the gym and seeing magnus practicing by himself just for fun, anyone? and magnus looks gorgeous as ever way more gorgeous than whoever they're coaching but that's just alec's opinion and magnus kind of stops like "oh, i didn't know you were here" and alec's like "oh oops. anyway keep going you're great at this" and magnus feels a little self conscious but soon he gets lost in it again because really he loves doing this and alec is just appreciating the artwork :)

ANYWAY the dynamics of trainer and coreographer are fun. magnus showing up to alec like "hey alec so i need some heavy lifting on them arms cuz meliorn [idk i don't have any better ideas for who they could be coaching] is gonna carry an elephant onstage" and alec is like "uhh" and meliorn is like "a fake elephant" and alec is like "i mean good but i still have questions"

and magnus is like "obviously we would never use trained elephants, the way they are treated is inhumane" and alec is like "you're completely right but also that's your only worry when it comes to meliorn carrying a real elephant?" and magnus is like "i'm sure you could pull it off ;) you're the best after all" and alec gives him that amused smile

advantages of meliorn: they don't care about the flirting anyway since they are literally Like That too

also magnus and alec working out together off the clock, some ogling on both sides and just generally funny competitive shenanigans. especially cuz like magnus is hella fit but alec works in that stupid gym so he knows what he's about. and alec's all smug about it like "i can lift more than you :)" and magnus is like "oh yeah? let's see how you do in the ring" "no" "yes" "no" "why, can you not do it?" "yes. i know my limits" "well that's too bad... because you're going in anyway"

cue alec falling on his face probably but also like goddamn it he's competitive and he's not gonna let magnus have too much of a win so he tries his best rip. anyway then we probably get some hip touching bullshit when magnus tries to explain it to him and magnus is flirting the whole time and alec's laughing and it's sweet

i have half a mind to make up some angsty backstory about how magnus used to be a figure skater too and his partner was (you'll never guess it) camille and then she pulled the rug from under him and he kinda left the competitions altogether for a while. and then he came back as a coreographer (listen, he loves to dance, but creating is one of his favorite parts and he was always involved in coreographing anyway. his old coreographer and him were always having a blast and camille did not like it) and this is kinda his debut as a coreographer at some big shot competition idk and he just feels like he has so much to prove?

lol bonus camille's new coreographer is lorenzo so the hating magnus squad is in thick against him and it's a whole thing you know

OH MEGA ANGSTY camille got him out of the competition because she outed him as trans and he was declassified because something something transphobic bullcrap so he wasn't allowed anymore. i assume this was like right after they won because of course she wouldn't compromise herself, or maybe it was at the beginning/pre-stages of the championship so she had time to find a new partner. yeah that last one and then she won with the coreography that he had helped them create. im saying she did that because he broke up with her finally after years of abuse both in work and out of it so she did that as revenge or to make sure he couldn't have his passion anymore. and it took magnus years to build himself back up as a coreographer this time because transphobia (and racism) in the market but guess what? he is extremely smart and talented and creative so now he is back at the championship and he wants to show the world what they have been missing on

hmmmmm also i implied this is in pairs since magnus and camille used to be one so i think meliorn's pair would probably be izzy and maybe that's why alec's involved? like he was already a personal trainer or whatever which his parents were fine with even though it's not of course as grand as they would've liked (meaning they were total asses about it) but when izzy decided to go into sports/art they lost their shit and didn't want to support her so, you know, alec did and became her trainer. which is just as well because he is the best so like, deal with it. not saying they like kicked her out or anything (esp cuz i imagine part of alec's reasoning is that izzy stood by him when he came out and if they didn't kick him out over being gay they wouldn't kick her out over being a skater but y'know) but they definitely wouldn't support her so they both also feel like they have a lot to prove

lol me: i have half a mind to make this angsty. also me: paragraphs and paragraphs of angsty backstory

anyway they win obviously idk what to tell you they just do cuz we stan talent. camille is second for maximum drama and vengeance, the lightwoods try to get the spotlight once izzy wins and she and alec tell them to fuck off, they advocate for specific rules prohibiting ppl to declassify trans ppl over being trans and that's all i have tbh

sorry it took so long to answer daiudsauihda but i hope that outline is at least interesting for you!

[todaydreambelievers]

The Newdie Awards!!

So, now that TDB is winding down - and in honor of the final podcast, I decided to hand out a few awards for all the people who’ve helped me along the way.  It’s a lot like The Office’s Dundie Awards! (only nicer).  

First of all, though, I want to shout a huge thank you to all the people who’ve donated so far to the TDB Pool - to keep the podcast hosted for years to come, so new people can listen, even if we’re not producing new content.  I’m amazed at how much we’ve raised so far.  Thank you so, so much for all your contributions! 

Secondly, a shout out to @seeroftodayandtomorrow - who diligently watched the show every week with me for the last two years.  That’s quite the feat and shouldn’t be discounted.  You guys try doing anything for two years straight! <3 

Thirdly, not sure how many of you realize this but @nikkisrandomthingsfan has been modding @todaydreambelieversfic for years now, and does an amazing job of it.  I can’t thank her enough for taking that over for me - and agreeing to continue to watch over the fic blog even after the main TDB blog ends.  In addition - to all the writers, including those who did the Author Spotlights with us back in the day, and to all the artists and creators out there - I hope you keep on doing your thing.  We’re blessed to have such creative talent in the fandom.  Thank you, thank you <3 

The Newdies!! 

The Matt Rutherford: Not Here but Not Forgotten Award goes to... 

All of my lovely guests who weren’t here in the finale.  I’ve had the pleasure of discussing the show with so many wonderful people - and I’m grateful to all the people who took the time to be on the podcast an share your thoughts.  Thank you for being such wonderful guests <3 

The Blaine Anderson: Biggest Stan Award goes to... 

@thedorkmark   There are plenty of Blaine stans around, but I haven’t met any that have surpassed Izzie’s passion and willingness to die on any hill.  And like Blaine, Izzie’s a sweetheart and a kind soul.  Thank you for bringing such joy and fire to the podcast <3 <3

The Mike Chang: All Around Awesome Award goes to...

@somewhereonlyino​  Like Mike, Lauren’s sometimes quiet, but always brings a fun and warm attitude to the podcast.  Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and being such a team player.  <3 <3  The Tina Cohen-Chang: Don’t Cut Me Off Award goes to...

@carojane​ - I’ve never met a person who stans Tina harder than Carly, someone who shares Tina’s strong will and ability to push through the hard parts with sheer determination.  You’re sweet and sensitive and kind but also won’t back down from a fight.  Thank you so much for everything you’ve shared over the years <3 <3

The Sugar Motta: Sweet’n’Spicy Award goes to... 

@coming-up-rosie​ - Every time Rosie pops on to the podcast, she’s sweet’n’spicy and always knows how to liven up the conversation.  While not around a lot on the podcast, like Sugar, whenever you were on you brought joy and enthusiasm - especially lovely since I kept placing you on such random podcasts.  Thank you so much for your ability to go with the flow and have fun while doing it <3 <3 

The Sam Evans: Always Lending a Helping Hand Award goes to... 

@klaineship2​ Over the years, Carmen has been such a hard worker! She’s done the entire rewatch with me, continues diligently to keep track of fics, and has even translated my and other’s fic into another language for more people to read!! Like Sam, you’re kind and dependable, and great friend who’s always there to jump in and help out.  Thank you so much for everything you’ve done over the years <3 <3 

The Adam Crawford: Cutie Across the Pond Award goes to... 

@perfectanomaly  The thing about Anny is that she’s always coming at me with an unexpected, but welcome, new point of view, and challenging me on how I see the characters.  Like Adam, she’s sweet and friendly (and also European!) and reminds me that these character’s don’t always have to live in the boxes we sometimes place them in.  Thank you so much for keeping me on my toes all these years, and giving me new perspectives to think about <3 <3 

The Santana Lopez: Tell It Like It Is Award goes to...

@honeysucklepink​ - Pink, you’ve been such a firecracker over the years!  Your deep love of music and glee and Darren Criss has driven your passion, and like Santana you’re never afraid to shy away from your opinions, even if they’re different from everyone else’s.  But also like Santana - you care deeply about the things and people are important to you.  Thank you for always bringing your massive knowledge of music and crackling stories to the podcast <3 <3 

The Sue Sylvester: Kicking Down the Fourth Wall Award goes to...

@slayediest​ - No one on the podcast has had an insider view of production quite like Slayediest, so it’s always fascinating to hear your stories about how things probably happened on the show.  But also, like Sue, you don’t really give a shit about all the nonsense going on around you, and think that most of the drama is ridiculous and silly (and it is!) and I really appreciate it about you.  You have a great sense of humor, and are always reminding me to sit back and enjoy the craziness in the world.  Thank you for letting me drag you on all these years, I’ve always valued your input so much <3 <3 

The Marley Rose: Most Precious of Precious Muffins Award goes to...

@sleepdeprivedmind - Connie, hands down, is one of the kindest, most positive, purest people I know.  I’ve never heard her say a bad word about anything, and even tries to bring a positive on some of the most negative subjects (like Will!!, lol)  Like Marley, you have such a big heart and warm soul and radiate joy whenever you come on the podcast. I’m incredibly thankful to call you my friend, thank you so much for all the great conversations we’ve had <3 <3 

The Mercedes Jones: Oh Hell to the No Award goes to...

@black-john-lennon​ - Kay was the first guest I recorded with on the show, and I’m so grateful for that first conversation, because it helped me gain the confidence that this project was something I could accomplish long term!  Kay’s never been one to back down from a fight - but doing so from a place of passion and getting to the heart of the matter.  Like Mercedes, you do have a sassy, won’t-back-down attitude, but I think you also share her vulnerability and big heart, and I don’t think that’s appreciated enough.   Thank you so much for so many fantastic conversations, and becoming someone I can call a good friend <3 <3 

The Emma Pillsbury: The Gingers Always Know Best Award goes to...

@redheadgleek​ - Oh, Julia, so calm and wise in her ways, she’ll always be there to lend a listening ear or be of service in whatever way she can be!  Like Emma - I think you’re smart and on the nose about a lot of things, but also incredibly kind and caring. And, many people may or may not know, the backbone of keeping a lot of fandom things afloat.  (She has every Klaine fic ever stored on a drive somewhere in case the apocalypse happens guys, lol <3)  Thank you for always being so sweet, and listening to me ramble on with an open mind and an open heart <3 <3 

The Kurt Hummel: There Are More Than Four Sides to Me Award goes to...

@kurtmckinnon​ - Kelley helped me redefine what a Kurt Stan could be.  Believe it or not, being a Kurt fan myself, I always shied away from the term - but Kelley’s love and passion for the character, and the show, helped me be secure in my identification of being a Kurt Stan (lol).  But more so, like Kurt, there are far more sides to you and you’ve always come to the podcast with a new perspective and a way of thinking that I might not have been privvy to.  I appreciate so much that you kept challenging how I saw the world.  Thank you so much for being such a huge, positive champion of Kurt, and always pushing me to think outside of the box <3 <3 

The Finn Hudson: The Show’s Gonna Go All Over The Place Aware goes to...

@notthatbea - My dearest Bethany, my goodness where do I even start.  Always there when I needed her, Bethany’s never been afraid to back away no matter what kinda crazy scheme I’ve got going on.  Like Finn, she’s sometimes bumbling along with me (in a good way!) but has a huge heart and always willing to go with it now how matter how crazy and out of control things get.  Thank you so, so much for becoming my good friend, for letting me take you on some of these insane adventures, and solidifying yourself in my heart - so much love <3 <3 

The Brittany Pierce: Special Unicorn Award goes to... 

@slayerkitty​ - No one has a laugh quite like Kitty’s, and it’s a delight to hear it, even when it’s for the most randomest of things.  Like Brittany, she’s a little bit sweet, a little awkward, a little odd, and a whole lot wonderful unicorn - all of it wrapped up in such a delightful way.  I’m sorry I cancelled your contract so many times - know that I couldn’t really imagine doing the podcast without you there.  Thank you so much for your fountain of knowledge, your great sense of humor, and your deep love of all fandom things - you’re unique and wonderful in your own special way, and I appreciate that about you <3 <3 

The Cooper J Anderson Emotional Tornado Award goes to...

@ckerouac​ - I mean is anyone really surprised by this??  RB is the ultimate emotion tornado, swooping in and creating a great time like like none other.  Like Cooper - your enthusiasm never wavers, your energy is inspiring, your sense of fun is endless, and you’re always pointing me (ha) in the right direction, and I’m guessing you probably have really great hair. 

Thank you for the phrase - ‘I wanna lick him nipple to navel’ and your vast knowledge of liquors, and the bangity-bang song, and the 2 out of 3 podcasters joke.  Thank you for jumping in on a podcast as a pinch-hitter even when you didn’t even know what the topic was.  Thank you for all the laughs and the sometimes tears and the driving me crazy but not really.  Thank you for becoming one of my greatest friends - I value your friendship deeply. Just - thank you <3 <3 

And one final thought - Iron Man’s better.  He just is, RB, I mean really ;) 

The Elliott Gilbert: Glitter Rock Vampire Award goes to... 

@snarkyhag​​ - I’m not really sure I have words to express how I feel about the one and only Le Diva Hag.  You are the Glitter Rock Vampire of my world - always there, always helping, always being a life coach and a wonderful friend.  I can’t tell you all the things she’s done for me over the years - because if I did it’d take up another post entirely.  But know that sometimes you come to a fandom just wanting to hang out and enjoy the silly world that is your favorite story, and you walk away finding someone whose become one of your closet friends.  I have nothing but gratefulness for everything she’s brought into my life.  

I love you, Snarky, you are the Elliott to my Kurt, and I promise I’m never saying good-bye to you <3 <3 

and finally...

The Rachel Berry: Greatest Star Award goes to...

YOU!!! 

To all my listeners, and all the people who’ve contributed to TDB over the years, taking polls, giving prompts, writing stories, doing art, joining in on the conversation, or just hitting like or reblog.  This blog has been made special because you were a part of it.  To my real Daydream Believers - thank you for bring such joy to my life and others.  You all are the greatest stars <3  

Congratulations!!! 

[laurlovescookies]

Kadam Week Prompt Seven: A Stressful Event

- One of the guys is stressing out over a pending event. (Parental visit, audition, work deadline, whatever you like as long as it causes a freak out.) How does the other get him through it? Or help him him celebrate getting through it?   

Adam and Kurt are pleasantly surprised when the New Directions throw them a shower for their first child. Not really stressful, mostly just silly. A lot of Blaine and Rachel bashing though. 

Sorry this is so late! Work’s been keeping me busy. This fic takes place eight years after Kadam meet in New York.

You guys might notice that Tina here (unlike Rachel or Blaine) has been redeemed. Up until season four I don’t think anyone minded her; she was a cool, artistic, easy-going person whom was great friends with Kurt and had a wardrobe you’d like to pillage. Understandably she gets upset with the lack of spotlight she gets in Glee; something that made me sad was the fact that she was treated as a token Asian character, a background prop, a sort of “Oh, aren’t we diverse and inclusive for including a Chinese American character despite the fact the spotlight always focuses on a straight white couple in some way or another.”

The fact that she lied about her stutter made her seem very human to me; people will do anything to fit in or seem endearing, even if that involves participating in their own denigration.

Season four absolutely murdered Tina and turned her into a character impossible to like. I was so sad; where was my positive representation? Honestly, bitch!Tina seemed to be the result of the writers saying, “Welp, all these strong personalities are graduating from McKinley, so we’ll need someone to be the new boss bad bitch.” The result was that Tina became a sort of Santana/Rachel hybrid, which is awful and felt forced in any case, like giving a bunny a flamethrower.  And her obsession with Blaine? Ew.

So, in this verse I’m going to say that Tina became older and wiser; for better or for worse she’s capable of change. (This time better!) However, Rachel and Blaine usually only change after re-learning the same lessons over and over again, and by the next episode they’re back to themselves. So, no character redemption there, sorry.

Rant over. Let’s get going!

-O-

Kurt and Adam ought to have known something was rotten in the state of New York when Mercedes casually requested heading to their apartment for coffee after lunch earlier that afternoon. After all, the young diva dropped by unannounced virtually every night for dinner, amused at Adam feeding her two or three helpings of food before dessert, and less so by Kurt’s insistence on making her probiotic protein shakes that were as healthy as they were awful.

The Hummel-Crawfords knew she was humoring them and were grateful; after all, at eight months Mercedes’ belly ballooned out, making her back ache and it difficult for her to walk comfortably. Guilty even though Mercedes assured them she knew what she’d been signing up for (more or less), Kurt and Adam felt better doting over her, massaging her back, making ice cream runs, or watching old musicals together. Mercedes certainly didn’t object, knew she wouldn’t be refused anything. She didn’t have to ask.

Looking back, Adam thought he’d seen Mercedes quickly compose flashes of secret smiles, dark eyes knowing.

As Kurt unlocked the door, there’d been near-cataclysmic screams of “SURPRISE!” that had nearly sent a startled Kurt reeling back into the hall, and while Mercedes roared with laughter Adam looked on in amazement as Kurt’s old Glee club friends rushed to meet them. He grinned broadly and laughed himself in the flurry of handshakes and hugs; for better or for worse, Kurt’s friends were never boring.

The room was carpeted with balloons and streamers, and there was an enormous, pram-shaped cake waiting on the coffee room table next to a sea of wrapped packages. Flushed and beaming, Kurt wiped his eyes as he stooped to embrace the small children clamoring for his attention—Emmanuelle and Israel, known as Emmy and Izzy. “Oh dear God. It’s a glee-union.”

“We couldn’t let the opportunity to throw you a party pass,” said Quinn, looking pleased as the children sidled next to their mother, eying the cake hopefully.

“You mean you couldn’t pass up an excuse to come to New York.”

Quinn’s pale eyes twinkled with amusement. “I thought they were one and the same. You’ll find a picture of New York skyscrapers in a dictionary underneath the word party—I know these things, I’m a lawyer. And it was the least I could do; you two must’ve felt you’d fallen off the world when you came to the twins’ shower in Vermont.”

“More or less. Good ice cream, though.”

Israel had wandered to sit on the sofa in-between Mike and his girlfriend Marley. Lieutenant Colonel (Kurt still thought it bizarre to think of him that way) cast a reproving smile at his son, quipping a brow.

“Son, remember the bus? What do you do when you see a pregnant lady?”

Izzy’s eyes widened. “Oh.” He clamored off the sofa and timidly approached Mercedes, holding out a hand. “Excuse me ma’am. You can have my seat.”

“Oh! Thank you, baby angel boy.”

Kurt shook his head in silent wonder as Izzy lead Mercedes to the sofa, the woman sighing in relief as she settled down. Puck looked pleased.

“And why do we remember to be nice to ladies, especially pregnant ones?”

“Because chicks dig manners.”

Quinn punched Puck in the arm as everyone laughed. Kurt chuckled as he and Adam sank onto love seats. “You really had me going there for a second, Puck. Still a far cry from the guy whom used to throw me into dumpsters.”

“Yeah well, the chain stops and ends with blah-blah-Oprah-spiel blah.”

Eyes shining, Kurt slipped his hand in Adam’s as he looked around the room. How different a time from high school and yet there was still so much the same: Santana was leaning against the wall trying to look bored and instead just looking amused. She released several duo hits with Mercedes before deciding she preferred more behind-the-scene action, and was now an A-list publicist whom received a metric grip of letters a month requesting her services. Beside her was her wife Brittany, in dead-serious conversation with Emmy over proper feeding and care of unicorns. Brittany starred in a children’s show filled with puppets (whom Brittany believed were alive) dedicated to teaching children physics and collegiate equations. Not far away was her own child Luz, whom was peeking into tissue-stuffed gift bags to see if anything of interest was there.  

Not far away Artie was cooing to his bleary-eyed baby Stephen on one knee, and his live-in girlfriend Tina perched on the other. Tina had starred in several of her husband’s films, but recently turned her attention to developing her own line of steampunk clothing, costume jewelry and cosmetics. Kurt smiled as she grinned and waved; they loved the finer points of fashion together and had rekindled their friendship from far away. It hadn’t been so difficult as he’d feared; Tina was no longer the callous person she was her last year in high school. It helped that even Tina was no longer really speaking to…

He moved on; Sam was leaning behind the couch and was kissing a giggling Mercedes on the cheek; they were on-off-on-off-on-for-ten-months-steady now. Kurt felt a pang of gratitude that Sam had been so accepting of Mercedes’ decision to be his and Adam’s birth mother, though he wanted children of his own…

He tasted his heart in his throat when he looked on an empty seat that ought to have been Finn’s, the young man brightly eager to meet his niece or nephew. No one had sat in it and perhaps thought the same thing…

Rachel and Blaine were also conspicuous by their absence, but in this case it was the better alternative. He’d come to appreciate cutting himself off from toxic people, even in the painful circumstance that they loved you. Or believed they did.

But everyone else remained. Them and the best person he’d ever known.

Adam looked down at him as he rested his head against his shoulder, so filled with quiet happiness he would be content never leaving this moment, save to meet the baby…

“Okay, pound puppy, enough with the misty eyes,” Santana drawled, whom threw a box in their direction; Adam only just managed to keep it slipping from his fingertips. “Didn’t come all this way for your boohoo.”

“We live in the same building.”

“Your point being?”

“We were going to throw you a gender-revealing party,” said Brittany, whom by now was sitting with Emmy in her lap. “The kind where you cut open a cake and everyone waits to see either pink or blue.” Suddenly she looked troubled. “But we didn’t know the gender. The cake is blueberry-flavored, but it came out purple on the inside. Did I make an inter-sex baby?”

“Well, at birth we’ll only know the baby’s sex, not gender identity,” reasoned Adam, pressing his head against Kurt’s. “It’s not like the baby will come out waving a blue and pink flag, or even a rainbow one.”

“Considering the amount of gay energy you and Prancy Smurf exude, it wouldn’t surprise me,” said Santana loftily as Kurt tentatively turned over her gift as if there might be a bomb inside it.

“I wish you’da let us know what the sex is,” piped up Artie. “Tina couldn’t decide what kind of clothes to make, so she wound up making a mini David Bowie-esque wardrobe.”

“Hey! Now I’m gonna tell them you got the baby hardcore rap music!”

“We already know the baby’s going to be intersex,” said Brittany patiently. “The cake says so.”

“Bae, the cake doesn’t get to decide whether the baby’s a chick or has a dick.”

“But cake doesn’t lie. And while we’re talking about presents, my gift comes from Lord Tubbington the third,” said Brittany proudly. “The gift of being allowed to see dead people.”

A pause. “And how did that come about, Brittany?” Asked Kurt, as if he were talking to a three-year-old.

“Easy. He waved his tail, like how the three good fairies waved their wands for Princess Aurora. Now when the baby comes, he’ll be able to see all the dead people.” She looked very proud. “Not some. All.”

“Excellent.” Said Adam gracefully. “What a good gift. I’ll be sure to send the cat a thank-you note.”

“Did the gift come with a receipt?” Kurt complained. “Can you give my baby the gift of song instead?”

“Baby boy, the kid already has the gift of song,” Mercedes griped, looking indignant. “I’m the baby momma, and you two are gonna be singing in this kid’s face like a nonstop musical.”  

“That sounds like hell,” said Puck, looking disturbed. “I actually included both pink and blue hair dye for the kid once she/he wants a faux hawk.”

“We appreciate our share of the favor,” said Adam with a smile, before Kurt could object. For the sake of his sanity he’d learned long ago to not ask too many questions amidst the New Directions. He felt a bit wistful that he wound up meeting them so much later on, and felt genuinely privileged to sit with these fine lunatics. “But we didn’t want to inundate the baby in blue or pink, which is what surely would’ve happened had we found out.”

“These posers don’t want to know.” Complained Mercedes as Quinn poured her a glass of lemonade. “And I know that if I knew the sex, I’d want to spill my guts to someone here. And sooner or later it’d make its way back to them.”

“Why worry? It’s not like Rachel’s here,” Puck pointed out. Not a second later he looked sheepish.

Everyone stiffened a bit at that. Kurt briefly flicked his eyes to the ceiling, and Adam sighed.  

“So!” said Marley cheerfully, nonetheless sounding strained. “Um, how’s she doing, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Not good,” said Brittany vaguely. She was the only member of New Directions whom occasionally spoke to Rachel, mainly because she was too kind to hold a grudge. Or too forgetful; no one was sure which. She twisted a blond curl between her fingertips. “She and Blaine are getting divorced. It’ll be in all the supermarket magazines soon.”

“Pay up,” said Puck to Artie, whom rolled his eyes and began digging for his wallet. Tina looked affronted. “You couldn’t have told us that earlier?”

“No. Because it’s Adam’s day and Kurt’s day and baby intersex’s day.”

“Thanks, lovely,” said Kurt gratefully.

“Blaine wanted to come today,” muttered Sam. “This time I told him no.”

Everyone looked at him; he shrugged uncomfortably. “Normally, I’d…but, well…he’s…”

“Just say it,” Santana snapped impatiently. “Everyone knows the hobbit whom likes hiding cake in his socks would keep things lively, but I don’t need to get blood all over these walls up here in this bitch.”

“Damn straight you won’t. I just had them painted.

“Remember last time?” said Mike, looking pained.

“Of course we remember last time. Who needs to call the cops during a kid’s christening?” Mercedes demanded.

“I don’t condone violence normally anymore, but I made an exception for him,” said Puck, cracking his knuckles. “I’m just so relieved the church had a quality brand dumpster ready. My only regret is that the truck wasn’t on its way to take it to the dump.”

“Puck.”

“What? Dude, I promised your brother on his deathbed—“ A shadow passed over Puck’s eyes “—that I’d beat the crap outta anyone who’d try making you sad. And I owe you for all those years I tossed you in the scrap.”

“…um, thanks, Puck. That’s sweet and violent at the same time.”  

“People say the same about me, funnily enough,” said Santana loftily. “Although they usually omit the ‘sweet’ part.”

“I thought at least Rachel would come, though,” said Quinn softly, chin in hand. “But she said she was sick.”

“’Sick’ is Rachel Berry code for ‘I’m on a yacht near some leprosy island somewhere.’ You saw the tabloids.”

“But we all came for The Stud Muffin.” Said Tina sadly. “For her and Blaine.”

“I wish we hadn’t. I cried for the hour and a half of my life I’ll never get back,” scoffed Puck. “Thank God my man Adam faked an allergic reaction to the food at the after party.” Adam had just been passed a beer, and now raised it in Puck’s direction.

“I thought the movie was maybe intentionally bad,” said Artie with a frown. “Some kind of advent-garde social statement?”

“The only statement baby girl over here got was that there are better things to do with your time than watch Stud Muffin. Like cut yourself.”

“And that includes hanging out with those two, especially considering they only come when they need a shoulder to cry on.”

“Or someone to mooch on for over a year,” said Sam wearily.

“People grow apart,” Tina said, looking uncomfortable. Doubtful even. “It’s just…” She shook her head. “I just don’t even recognize him anymore. And it’s not the weight, that’s just…whatever, but c’mon, it’s a high school romance. He needs to let Kurt go.”

“Can we please not—“

“Do you know what kind of freaks we are, that most of us wound up getting married to our high school sweethearts? It’s like we went to musical Hogwarts.”

“Not Kurt, though,” said Artie as he stuffed a fistful of dollars into Puck’s waiting hand. “He had the nerve to marry outside our big, happy, incestuous family. I think everyone here has slept with someone here at this point but Kadam.”

Adam pressed a fist against his mouth but couldn’t conceal the laugh. Kurt looked as if the soul had been sucked out of him.

“Do you have to keep calling us that?”

“Why not? It’s cute.”

“I ship Kadam,” said Adam as he started cutting pieces of cake for the restless children. Luz wound up pushing Izzy to the side once Adam cut a corner slice with a flower on it. Britney had donated the egg and Mike the sperm, but Santana had been Luz’s surrogate. And she had Santana’s blood running through her veins. Kurt flicked him.

“No. Not you too!”

“Adam was already in show choir,” said Brittany slowly. “So that makes him our cousin, basically.” She patted his hand. “Don’t worry, Adam. You’re marrying a relative too.”

“Well, hooray for incest,” said Adam graciously, which wasn’t something he’d ever imagined he’d say.

“Can we get to opening presents already?” Mercedes whined. Kurt prepared to rip the paper off his box, but Mike spoke up, sounding dazed:

“Are Blaine and Rachel really getting divorced?”

“Well, twinkle-toes, I hate to break this to you, but Blainers is gay, and Rachel is straight. One of these things is not like the others…”

“I know, it’s just…it just seems like yesterday they were sending those flowery invites. The weird ones with the entwined male and female sex symbols?”

“Incidentally, changing your décor won’t change your sexuality.”

“I’ve tried,” said Kurt sadly.

“I’m glad it failed,” said Adam smoothly.

“Get a room,” Mike muttered.

Adam’s blue eyes twinkled mischievously. “Welllll, our room is next door—“ Kurt shoved him.

“I feel bad for them,” murmured Brittany. “They must’ve felt all alone in the world. That’s why they got married. Lord Tubbington’s the same way; that’s why he now has alimony payments to his fourth wife.”

“And we all went to the wedding, regardless if we…sort of fell apart along the way.” Said Artie, sighing. “Sam tried talking to him, we all tried talking to him, but we couldn’t persuade him otherwise.”

“Kind of what happens when someone marries someone out of pure spite,” said Santana quietly. Kurt wished with all his heart they’d let this go; all of the pastel-colored boxes were cute. “Even I wouldn’t sink that low.”

Marley looked thoughtful. “I remember during the rehearsal dinner Blaine kept talking over and over again about how happy he was. It was a little emphatic.” Her brow furrowed. “Because he kept looking over at our table and repeating it.”

“I don’t remember,” said Kurt dismissively. “Adam was showing me a funny video on his phone under the table.”

“Oh, so that’s what you guys were doing,” Tina purred, winking at a mortified-looking Kurt. “I thought…”

“There are children in the room!”

“You know, something we never told the ladies here is that while the groomsmen were getting ready in the hotel room, Blaine staggered in and begged Kurt to take him back.”

Mercedes, Rachel, Tina, Brittany and Santana inhaled the same breath at the same time. Kurt sighed again.

“I’m sure he didn’t actually mean it. He was drunk, and he’s not in love with me—just the idea of being young, full of potential, and not a complete…” He made a vague wave motion with his hand.

“Douche canoe?” Santana offered, accepting a slice of cake.

“Caution: Children.”

“Caution: My daughter hears a lot spicier words from her abuela,” said Santana sweetly.

“Well, I think he did want you back, considering he fell to his knees, buried his face in your suit, and bawled…that was before Adam socked him.”

Adam turned red. Mercedes looked intrigued.

“I thought that black eye came from…what did Blaine say it was from?”

“Falling down the stairs and somehow blacking his eye on the way.”

“Well, well, well, looks like Sir I’m-Such-A-Well-Mannered-Englishman has some teeth after all,” said Santana, lip curling.

“I felt like I achieved the American dream that day,” said Adam, and the room burst into applause. Puck nodded appreciatively.

“I’ll get you a medal.”

“And after Kurt and Adam escaped out the window, Blaine got up and said he didn’t mean any of it, that he still loved Rachel,” said Sam softly. “And was just playing a late joke. None of us thought it was funny. I didn’t want to watch him do this to himself, but I thought…I’d at least stay through the ceremony before leaving. If only for in memory of what we used to have.”

“I stayed for booze and free food,” said Puck. “And to toss Blaine into another dumpster on my way out.”

“Was that really necessary?”

“Oh, come on. That was a fancy-ass dumpster filled with caviar, or some crap. He ought to have been flattered.”

“We might be here for awhile,” Kurt whispered in Adam’s ear, sounding annoyed, but affectionately so. Adam kissed him on the cheek and hummed.

The upside to Kurt’s friends visiting was that cable television was rendered completely unnecessary.

-O-