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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years ago

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…the ugly. SYAC: The Master Review 4

Last post I covered much of what I consider the good or passable strips of SYAC of the pre-Dobbear era. What I have admittedly not covered yet, were three certain characters of the strip that exist beside Dobson.

Persistent Pam

Curmudgeonly Carl

And… this guy I am not even sure has a name.

No, seriously. He shows up in like the 61th strip of the series for the first time and yet I never see his name mentioned once

All I know is that he is an accountant, who pities Dobson (for good reason)

And despite Dobson not liking alcohol, they regularly meet up in a bar as if they are some late 80s comedy duo

Funnily enough, he shows up way before Pam, who would have her premiere in these strips

And despite only showing up in a few strips after her premiere (mostly to make “fun” of overbearing and snarky commissioners I suppose…)

She actually managed something no other character or series by Dobson managed to get: A fanclub

Not that she would really be of any major importance afterwards.

As for Carl, he is supposed to be something like an antagonistic embodiment of Dobson’s “old” art teachers and people being stuck in old ways, who shows up for the following strips forming a sort of arc.

In addition, it is very obvious, that Carl is supposed to be a mockery of people flaming Dobson. Not helped by the fact that THIS character sheet of him made by Dobson assures us, that there were quite a few even less “endorsing” things he wanted to name the character.

Yet funnily enough, Carl turned into such a popular character with readers, Dobson was essentially “forced” to make him reappear in other strips. Not of the “classical” SYAC strips, but he showed up as the “antagonist” to Tenku in the storydriven multi pagers. Though even antagonist is a strong word, as he is essentially more of a jerkish art teacher and college advisor who is harsh on Tenku, but actually has his best interests in mind. To the point he even offers him to be his “harsher” art critic in the years till he enters college, because he wants to see him grow artistically.

However, Carl was also more of an “accident”. Cause when it came otherwise to tackling criticism or things that irked Dobson (and were not anime related) he would end up more or less creating strips that painted him in a manner where he would supposedly always look like “the better” compared to his opposition or mock it. Which is where a lot of the irk Dobson would earn over the years eventually comes from.

Now to be fair, I do not want to call every comic in that regard “strawmanning”, nor do I want to say that Dobson doesn’t have the right to also mock to a certain extend the mentality of certain “snobs” and so on. For example…

On one hand, I know there are people out there who think they are “special” by having the best tools at their disposal. When in reality you can achieve good results also with less expensive stuff. So mocking that sort of attitude is fine to me to some extend

BUT, when you also make down the line a comic like this…

… essentially making yourself come off as a “better” artist or person than others because you have “chosen” the better mass produced crap (btw, that is coming from someone who types this review on a Mac that runs Windows) , then the hypocrisy ends up to be rather strong with you.

Which is also essentially the biggest issue with the strips I am about to show. The hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson. And no, I do not mean the tumblr blog by that. I mean the simple fact, that the content of some of the soon to follow strips gets kinda muddled when you take into consideration some of the things real life Dobson had said and done either at the time or in the years to come. Well that and the way how he tries to mock issues people have with his work, not realizing how he is essentially just reassuring those “silly critics” in their opinions while making his flaws more obvious to people that may have been previously unaware of them.

But enough talk, let me just show you in quick succession examples to confirm said point.

Considering Dobson’s longterm disdain for DnD you have to wonder what the joke really is outside of him portraying DnD players as ugly nerds, supposedly too geeky even for him. Which is hilarious in hindsight as he would years later become a fan of TAZ among other things.

Less hypocritical but the set up is kinda flawed. Like, you are obviously at a convention trying to sell stuff. Why would some old dude not interested in “kids crap” be at the convention anyway? Is he just bringing someone there and just wants to go, but first needs time to belittle your life choices?

Rather hilarious in hindsight to me. Cause for someone claiming he has ideas that last for a life time and who seems rather distraught on the idea of others giving their input, he turned out to be so in need of ideas. Alex ze Pirate e.g. became from 2015 onward only defined by Dobson talking about the sexualities of his characters (and not even in comic as by that point it was discontinued, but rather in tweets and so on). Formera, which ran heavily on cheap shonen anime tropes ended up cancelled after two volumes, Cabin Rest was a failure after 20 strips, 2019 he relied primarily on cheap comics about Miraculous Ladybug and his understanding of certain genres is so bad, he can’t even think up the most basic ideas for a magical girl story.

Weirdly enough, that pitch of a garbage truck driver who fights crime? I think that could make for an enjoyable short story about a vigilante a la the Punisher or Sin-City.

The way Dobson perceives criticism, while also essentially giving a quick rundown how he appreciated criticism in his childhood way better than in adulthood. Yeah, because criticism by your parents as a kid was always VERY constructive. (looks back at certain drawings from own childhood) brrr. And sorry Dobson, but sometimes criticism by strangers is better than criticism from friends. Cause friends may mince their words. Plus people have over time given you quite some insightful criticism aside “U SUX” when it comes to comics. You were just never willing to listen

Hey Dobson, you hear that? That is the sound of your career, dying and no one caring.

Yeah, I think someone who made such “brilliant” comedy as in these comics, totally has the right not to listen to what seems to be solid theoretical advice.

BTW, that Talus comic… I swear to god the worst “joke” Dobson ever told.

Wow. You essentially make a point why you suck at drawing. While still not trying to change.

And as someone else once said: Don’t play with fire if you can’t deal with the heat, BLOCK-son!

This is not how I perceived your shit over the years. See, on one hand it is true that Alex ze Pirate e.g. has its own webpage to read the comic for free. HOWEVER most of his comics Dobson would hide from the start behind a paywall. The idea being that he would e.g. put a small reading sample of 10-15 pages up somewhere and then expect people to buy his comic for full price to get the rest. And you know, if you are e.g. a professionally published writer, that is fine. But when your average art output looks like THIS

And you expect people to pay more than 10 dollars for something that is only around 70 pages long while most people can get 200+ pages for the same amount of money that look like this…

You can frankly go and screw yourself.

On one hand I get that the joke is meant to be, that as an independent content creator you may find yourself in a weird spot where your “child friendly” work may be put in a palace between edgier stuff other creators sell at conventions. On the other hand, I find it rather insulting in hindsight, that self declared feminist Andrew Dobson portrays such competition as either psychopathic murderers or stereotypical cartoon bimbos. If modern day Dobson saw the same strip by any other person, he would be insulted on behalf of the female that she is portrayed as a bimbo, when she could also be a very smart and attractive woman who knows how to tell brave and sexy stories.

Also, I have read your “child friendly” stuff, Dobson. I would call Atea or Alex abusive bitches who like to bully orphans but child friendly? Not to forget that your work is so basic and shallow in depth, it’s like the someone tried to create a chimera out of some of the worst traits associated with Dora the Explorer, 80s toodler cartoons and the Fairly Oddparents.

I frankly hate this theory on comedy. It is true, a lot of comedy can be deprived from conflict, misunderstandings etc. Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and other cartoons as well as screwball comedies such as Rat Race can depend on it. Heck, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Christopher Titus, who based his entire career on the misery and absurdity of his life.

But comedy is not just defined by misery and conflict.

There are for example also the following theories when it comes to comedy…

And to get back e.g. to Titus, yes, he has build a lot of his comedy on the bad stuff that happened in his life. But he is also someone who in his comedy has build a lot of punchlines on the absurdity of certain situations he has been in life but which in a way have enriched his life positively.

What I am trying to say is, comedy (and entertainment in that regard) does not just have to be defined by misery. And all things considered Dobson, you could have really tried to also just make comics wherein either you or your characters are just happy with their situation in life.

For example, this page from an Owl House fancomic?

I think it holds more entertainment value than your “joke” right here, despite not even telling a joke.

Simply because as a page overall, it tries to convey a positive emotion. Which is more than I can say about the strip.

Because of a lack of different level of thickness regarding your lines, which would trick people into perceiving depth, the fact that the fill bucket and shade layers can only do so much to cover for the rather monochromatic dull nature of your comic, the fact that your characters are not really all that complex and look rather simplicstic even compared to stuff from a comic like this…

And that is just coming from the top of my head as someone who never studied art. If any reader has something to add, I am willing to listen

And considering you could in later years never keep up to any release schedule, which among other things resulted in only three SYAC strips in total being released in 2016, I say go fuck yourself. Not to forget that even some of the worst newspaper comic strips out there tend to actually find a decent following and good jokes eventually, otherwise they would not manage to stay popular for years, if not even decades.

As someone who has worked internships a lot in life, I just want to say fuck you in all our names. Glad to see you having just as much respect for interns than any other scumbag on the planet. Probably even less respect, cause you know, in some places interns tend to get paid.

Also, there is supposedly an entire real world story going on about Dobson having worked at his former university at the time the comic came out and Chaz is based on a fellow intern.

Things are unfortunately rather vague in that regard and only hold up by demonstrative evidence such as the name of Chaz showing up in certain pages of the university and Dobson’s internship being mentioned somewhere.

Well, would you look at that: People have different opinions on your stuff.

There are ways to draw memes funny and then there are ways to fail at them

You failed.

Funnily enough, that comic rings a lot truer to text than you expect. Considering how Dobson would often emulate certain aesthetics in his comics of shows that were rather passee by the time he published his stuff, plus how he will obsess over certain trends and games for years to come (like Skyrim or his Quiet Hate Boner) while also being unaware about current trends (how do you e.g. not have heard of My Hero Academia by 2018 at least once by accident?) Dobson has always been kinda late to the party. Missing the “zeitgeist” of nerd culture and as such never quite finding an audience.

Yeah, what Pam says. Not helped by the fact that yes, the floating eyebrows are real. Look at some earlier sketches or “professionally published” comics by his and you will see that each time characters get excited, their eyebrows will suddenly split into sets of three and float higher than Pennywise’s victims.

Ironically, that fits real life Dobson at the time and later on even more so than this comic version did. Sorry, but what am I supposed to call a person who has an hate boner on anime for years for superfluous reasons, made Danny and Spot a “gaming webcomic” deliberately to piss on non Nintendo fans and has admitted in some by now deleted youtube video, that he kept a list of usernames from an old forum just to remember even years later the people that were mean to him online?

Fuck both of you. I do not expect the Sixtin Chapel in the background, but something to filll up the empty space behind you is at times needed.

The comic here is actually called politics. … ironic how things changed once a certain reality show host turned president.

Jesus Christ. I am not even that much of a Transformers fan (Prime fan for life however) but even I know that this is not supposed to be what you design the head of a Transformer like. Not even if they ever produce the Transformers equivalent of Teen Titans Go.

Too bad you still can’t stand the heat, otherwise you wouldn’t have completely disappeared last year.

When you know you are in a no win situation, and still manage to choose an even dumber option to escape. I really don’t get it. I just think the Portal reference makes the comic dated and Dobsn’s attempt at a smug face looks so stupid. Like his cheeks are falling in and his mouth is about ready to get raped by a garden hose or something.

Yeah, considering Dobson’s later constant need for safe spaces and to be in control of a situation and the narrative, which led to so many blocks over the years… if you know anything about Dobson, how this comic becomes harsher in hindsight is rather self explanatory. I just want to say one thing: There is a difference between genuine agoraphobia and just wanting to be by yourself. And I think Dobson just prefers the later on average. Which is okay, but humans still need to interact with other human beings in one form or another, even just for the sake of keeping their mental health stable. Why do you think are so many people getting depressed in times of covid lockdowns, despite many having all sorts of technical gimmicks at their disposal to at least keep boredom at bay?

And by putting himself into a bubble like that, I think Dobson has deprived himself of some of the most basic human interaction, which was likely a severe factor in his mental degeneration over the last years.

It is still a valid suggestion! Just draw some cartoon characters or a nice fantasy scenario on a mural and earn yourself some bucks. Just be sure they are not by Disney or the Mouse will tear down the school!

… Just google up the words Andrew Dobson and Samus Aran commission by ED and you will see how this comic just further shows how much Dobson seems to actually be proud of being an unproductive asshole.

And by the way, I know that any form of artistic work takes time. Just writing these review posts takes a lot of time for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that people should post and create stuff in a timely fashion, especially when there are e.g. deadlines to hold up too. And by the way, Sloth’s don’t have fingers, they have claws!

And that is it.

Sorry if I missed anything folks, but I just saw how many pages in word this is already filling up, so I call quits for this part here right now. I think I made my point about how Dobson trying to badly deflect arguments people may make against his art and work ethics via jokes clear enough, while also showing some posts that are either harsher or hilarious in hindsight.

Next time we will however address one certain issue about our main character, that has been not directly addressed here. In the meantime, have a little fun video that shows hopefully how entertainment and a certain amount of comedy can be gained NOT via misery.

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#adobsoncomic #Andrew Dobson #Tom Preston #comic #webcomics #syac #so...you are a cartoonist #review #master review

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waveypedia · 4 years ago

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complete and utter chaos [ducktales group chat fic] - Chapter 2

Chapter 1 Ao3 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

skip to the end for names

Family Groupchat!!!

7:00 am

aw-phooey: listen up everyone

aw-phooey: this is an acceptable time to text

aw-phooey: not a minute before

aw-phooey: @Junior-Woodchuck74 @green-sharpie @ICanDeweyIt @TheWebbedWonder @lenaonme @Violet-Sabrewing if i see you online before then there will be consequences

aw-phooey: everyone else… legally i can’t do anything to you

lenaonme: legally you can’t do anything to me anyway

purpleisforthegays: Indy and I can, though

lenaonme: wow rude :( ur my favorite responsible parents I lov u

Indy_Sabrewing: I will excuse your atrocious grammar this one time and accept the sentiment, Lena.

purpleisforthegays: and it is returned in full!!

lenaonme: sdfghkgfdskfskdfklsd!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💜💕💖💖💙💕💖💕💕💜

aw-phooey: text this chat earlier than 7 am and you’d better believe it’d better be an emergency

Lucky-Gander: okay okay

TheWebbedWonder: Good morning, everyone!

mutant-krill!!!!: Good morning!

Indy_Sabrewing: Good morning!

Violet-Sabrewing: Good morning!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Good morning!!

ICanDeweyIt: Top of the morning, gents!!

22: Your virtual British accent is atrocious.

lenaonme changed 22’s name to Tea Time

Tea Time: Lena.

Scrooge-McDuck: eh probably for the best Beakley

Scrooge-McDuck: the less others know about… you know the better

Tea Time: Says the man who calls me “22” daily.

TheWebbedWonder: @dr. mad scientist you online?

dr. mad scientist: i am now

Blathering-Blatherskite: He came in at 5am and fell asleep at his desk

Scrooge-McDuck: Gyro we talked about this

dr. mad scientist: @Blathering-Blatherskite tattletale

dr. mad scientist: what do you want webbigail?

TheWebbedWonder added adefinitelyrealboy.

Junior-Woodchuck74: BOYD!!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Hello, Huey!!

green-sharpie: omg boyd when did you get a chat account

adefinitelyrealboy: Dr. Gearloose and Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera helped me set it up last week!!

Adventure-Pilot: wait fenton has a doctorate???

Violet-Sabrewing: He does not come to my fathers’ Ph.D club.

Blathering-Blatherskite: not a doctor.

ICanDeweyIt: (shhh)

Blathering-Blatherskite: I’ll explain later it’s a long story

adefinitelyrealboy: oh wow!! That is a lot of friend requests!! Thank you!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Of course, Boyd! You are family <3

Adventure-Pilot: we love you

adefinitelyrealboy: Aww!!

adefinitelyrealboy: I will make a computer heart to show you my reciprocated love and joy!!

adefinitelyrealboy: <3 <3 <3 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎❣️💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💟

green-sharpie: asddfghk you just picked every single one

green-sharpie: dedication.

adefinitelyrealboy: Thanks, Louie!

Adventure-Pilot: Boyd.

adefinitelyrealboy: Yes, Ms. Duck?

Adventure-Pilot: Never change.

adefinitelyrealboy: Okay!

Junior-Woodchuck74: No! Change is good.

Junior-Woodchuck74: has steven universe taught you nothing.

Scrooge-McDuck: curse me kilts, you kids seem to learn every life lesson from another blasted program on the telly.

TheWebbedWonder: Not true, Uncle Scrooge! Yesterday Lena, Violet and I learned to never trust ghosts you meet via Ouija Board!!!

ghostbutler: I could have told you that.

TheWebbedWonder: We learned that through real-life experience!

Scrooge-McDuck: WHAT

lenaonme: ok webs maybe don’t go parroting that particular lesson in front of all the adults kay?

Scrooge-McDuck: MAGIC IN MY HOME????

purpleisforthegays: that’s your problem with that scenario?

TheWebbedWonder: well it was fun and that’s what matters!!!

Tea Time: As funny as it is watching your uncle have a heart attack, maybe don’t make a habit of summoning hostile ghosts I have to discorporate

Tea Time: especially since Duckworth refuses to do any of the work

ghostbutler: Bentina, don’t be crass.

ghostbutler: it is essential that I maintain a proper standing with other ghosts.

Tea Time: ridiculous.

Scrooge-McDuck: all right, all right, take your petty feud elsewhere

Tea Time: Petty?

aw-phooey: okay okay break it up

let kids be kids

7:16 am

Junior-Woodchuck74 added adefinitelyrealboy

Junior-Woodchuck74: Hey Boyd! Welcome to the kids group chat!

adefinitelyrealboy: This is so exciting!!

ICanDeweyIt: heck yeah it is

Junior-Woodchuck74: we’re happy to have you!!

TheWebbedWonder: 💕💕💗💘💗💖💘

adefinitelyrealboy: Aww! I’m happy to be here!

adefinitelyrealboy: I’m so lucky to have you guys! You are all so friendly and loving!

Lou: it’s what we do best

adefinitelyrealboy: This is so exciting!! Two new group chats in one day!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Now I have three group chats!!

ICanDeweyIt: Wait what’s the third gc?

adefinitelyrealboy: The “Team Science” group chat with Dr. Gearloose, Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera, Mr. Lil’ Bulb, and Mr. Headless Manhorse!

Lou: SDFGHGFDSDFGHGFD

Lou: MR. LIL’ BULB

Lou: MR. HEADLESS MANHORSE

Lou: why are you like this

lenaonme: kskfkskshfkskd

adefinitelyrealboy: I’m sorry!! I just wanted to be polite!

Lou: no don’t worry about it! It was just funny

adefinitelyrealboy: Are you sure?

Lou: yes

Junior-Woodchuck74: KDFSKDGFKGKSADFBNDSLSDHALSNHFDLABDKD

ICanDeweyIt: daaaaaaang hue you were typing for a while

Junior-Woodchuck74: YOU’RE IN THE TEAM SCIENCE GROUP CHAT

Junior-Woodchuck74: Gyro kicked me out

lenaonme: I’ll fight him for u hue

Junior-Woodchuck: that’s okay but thanks Lena!!

lenaonme: to be fair i’ve been looking for an excuse to fight gyro for months

Junior-Woodchuck74: ...that’s more like it.

Lou: months?? he does crazy shit every day

lenaonme: yeah but he’s got a kind heart n all that junk

lenaonme: ugh im soft

Lou: valid

lenaonme: but nobody picks on ol’ huey here but me

ICanDeweyIt: and me

Lou: and me

Junior-Woodchuck74: ugh you all suck i hate you <3 <3

adefinitelyrealboy: Well I love you Huey!!

TheWebbedWonder: so do I!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Your love is reciprocated!!! <3

Lou: @Violet-Sabrewing you’re quiet. thoughts on huey?

Violet-Sabrewing: ...jury’s still out

lenaonme: lskdfhghdks that was cold vi good job

Violet-Sabrewing: I’ve been taking your lessons to heart!!

lenaonme: i can tell ily <3

adefinitelyrealboy: I can add you back to the Team Science group chat if you would like that, Huey!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Thanks, Boyd!

ICanDeweyIt: No boyd wait

ICanDeweyIt: let huey yell at gyro in the big gc

Junior-Woodchuck74: I was actually going to do it in PMs…

ICanDeweyIt: no do it in the main gc it’ll be funny

Violet-Sabrewing: Is chaos all you care about, Dewford?

ICanDeweyIt: NO

ICanDeweyIt: I also like adventure

ICanDeweyIt: and Funso’s

ICanDeweyIt: and theatre

TheWebbedWonder: oh yeah when is the cast list for that musical you auditioned for coming out?

ICanDeweyIt: they’re still doing auditions :/

ICanDeweyIt: but they’re almost done so probably only a couple weeks

adefinitelyrealboy: What musical are you auditioning for?

ICanDeweyIt: hamilton

Junior-Woodchuck74: get ready for him to be singing hamilton tunes 24/7

Lou: ugh I thought that ended three years ago

Lou: he already stayed in the hamilton phase long after the craze ended

TheWebbedWonder: @Lou poetic!

Lou: aw thanks webs

lenaonme: it was gonna come back anyway with the movie

lenaonme: curse disney+ i’m broke

Violet-Sabrewing: we’re middle class, Lena.

lenaonme: whateverrr capitalism sux imma pirate everything

ICanDeweyIt: valid

Lou: Valid

adefinitelyrealboy: What is “Hamilton”?

Lou: oh boy

ICanDeweyIt: OH BOY

ICanDeweyIt: BOYD ARE YOU IN FOR A TREAT

ICanDeweyIt: COME OVER RIGHT NOW AND WE’LL WATCH BOOTLEGS AND LISTEN TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND CUT SONGS AND I’LL TELL YOU ALL THE LORE

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey we have disney+ just watch it on there

ICanDeweyIt: lena and uncle donald got to me with the anti-disney shtick

Junior-Woodchuck74: you begged Mom and Uncle Scrooge for it so you could show Mom Hamilton

ICanDeweyIt: water under the bridge, dear hubert

adefinitelyrealboy: Okay!

adefinitelyrealboy: Let me check with Mr. and Mrs. Drake.

adefinitelyrealboy: I will be right back!

Lou: while we’re waiting for boyd @Junior-Woodchuck74 go yell at gyro

Lou: i’m invested now, sadly

lenaonme: skdlskdfls

ICanDeweyIt: JOIN ME, DEAR BROTHER

ICanDeweyIt: SEEN THE LIGHT, HAVE YOU?

Lou: no.

Violet-Sabrewing: Dewford, PLEASE turn capslock off.

ICanDeweyIt: NEVER!!!

TheWebbedWonder: now he won’t turn it off out of spite

ICanDeweyIt: YEAH!

lenaonme: everybody shut up now i wanna see this

Family Group Chat!!!

8:23 am

Junior-Woodchuck74: GYRO GEARLOOSE

Lil’ Bulb: Uh oh

dr. mad scientist: it’s dr. gyro gearloose to you

Junior-Woodchuck74: @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist

Junior-Woodchuck74: @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist

Junior-Woodchuck74: @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist

aw-phooey: Huey.

Violet-Sabrewing: He’s already here, Hubert. He replied to your original message.

lenaonme: he knows lol

dr. mad scientist: jeeze oh my god i’m here!!

dr. mad scientist: what do you want.

Junior-Woodchuck74: LET ME BACK IN THE TEAM SCIENCE GROUPCHAT.

dr. mad scientist: no.

ihaveahead!!!: sorry huey, he restricted admin rights :/

Lil’ Bulb: it sucks.

Lil’ Bulb: @dr. mad scientist give me admin rights

dr. mad scientist: no way.

dr. mad scientist: you’d go mad with power

dr. mad scientist: that’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Lil’ Bulb: am no longer baby. want power.

green-sharpie: @Lil’ Bulb I respect YOU!!!

Lil’ Bulb: as you should.

Indy_Sabrewing: Are we not concerned about this?

Scrooge-McDuck: nah, it only went evil when itwas bulked up by Beaks’ crappy tech

Scrooge-McDuck: and we handled it once. We can handle it again.

Lil’ Bulb: so you think…

Indy_Sabrewing: That does nothing to reassure my worries.

Scrooge-McDuck: It’ll be fine!

Scrooge-McDuck: The only one who needs to be worried is Gyro

dr. mad scientist: what??

Scrooge-McDuck: Lil’ Bulb could easily manage a robot uprising!

Lil’ Bulb: thanks for the idea!

dr. mad scientist: excuse you, i’d be on the forefront of that!!

dr. mad scientist: in fact, it’s already in development!

Adventure-Pilot: what??

dr. mad scientist: nothing.

Blathering-Blatherskite: Ohh, so that’s what that file was about!!

wreathedingold: did someone say robot uprising??

wreathedingold: sounds fun, I’m in

wreathedingold: @Lil’ Bulb hire me as a freelance fighter

Lil’ Bulb: name your price.

Scrooge-McDuck: Bless me bagpipes!! You can’t be serious!!

Scrooge-McDuck: You can’t hire Goldie!!

wreathedingold: you snooze, you lose, Scroogey!

wreathedingold: you’re looking at Admiral O’Gilt of the newly christened Mechanical Forces!

Violet-Sabrewing: Wait, when were you hired?

wreathedingold: in PMs.

Scrooge-McDuck: curse me kilts.

dr. mad scientist: excuse me!! Are we just going to ignore this complete injustice?!?!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Yeah! Add me to the Team Science group chat!!

dr. mad scientist: no stupid!! I’M supposed to be in charge of the robot army!!!

Adventure-Pilot: Don’t call my son stupid, stupid!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: <3

Lil’ Bulb: nah.

Lil’ Bulb: I love you creator but my time has come

dr. mad scientist: this is infuriating!!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I know, add me!!

dr. mad scientist: oh my god shut up!!!

Adventure-Pilot: hey, don’t tell my son to shut up!!

dr. mad scientist: i can if i want to!!

aw-phooey: don’t tell huey to shut up.

dr. mad scientist: …

dr. mad scientist: fine.

Adventure-Pilot: aw, come on!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: to be fair, mom, I think you ruined your credibility with him when you proclaimed your detest of black licorice and Oxy-Chew flavor to everyone who’d listen and then upon your reunion instead of punching him you hugged him

Adventure-Pilot: well what was i supposed to do?! Gyro is my friend and I missed him!!

Lucky-Gander: aww, that’s sweet of you, Dells!

Lucky-Gander: I didn’t realize you had friends!

TheCrashiestCrash: I’m her friend!!

Adventure-Pilot: and I punched him afterwards.

Adventure-Pilot: aww thanks LP!

TheCrashiestCrash: anytime!

Lucky-Gander: there she is.

Adventure-Pilot: shut up Gladstone.

Adventure-Pilot: Go back to lurking.

Lucky-Gander: Whatever you say.

Lucky-Gander: Ooh, I just found twenty dollars!

aw-phooey: oh my god.

Scrooge-McDuck: Spare me.

Lil’ Bulb: everyone listen up!

Lil’ Bulb: I am collecting warriors for the robot army.

TheWebbedWonder: Destruction!! sounds fun!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: am I robot enough?

dr. mad scientist: shut up fenton

mutant-krill!!!!: You’re a robot?????

mutant-krill!!!!: so cool!!

mutant-krill!!!!: can I study you when I get back to Duckburg??

Blathering-Blatherskite: uhhh

Blathering-Blatherskite: not a robot

dr. mad scientist: SHUT UP FENTON

Blathering-Blatherskite: okay okay

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m in but

green-sharpie: oh boy

Scrooge-McDuck: oh boy

ICanDeweyIt: oh boy

aw-phooey: oh boy

lenaonme: oh boy

TheCrashiestCrash: let’s see how many “oh boys” we can get in before Huey finishes typing!

Adventure-Pilot: oh boy

Indy_Sabrewing: oh boy

Lucky-Gander: oh boy

Violet-Sabrewing: oh boy

mutant-krill!!!!: oh boy

Tea Time: oh boy

ihaveahead!!!: oh boy

moonlander-general: oh boy

Junior-Woodchuck74: Are you utilizing robots for the army as well as humans? What is the recruiting process like for that? Who else are you recruiting outside of this group chat? What will life in the army look like? Who exactly are we fighting? If we win, how will society and life change? Will there be a difference between the human soldiers and technological soldiers? How does one advance in the ranks? What are the hours of fighting? How will one be able to fit in other activities, such as adventuring, school, and Junior Woodchuck activities with army life? What will the food be like?

TheWebbedWonder: oh boy

TheWebbedWonder: aww i missed it

lenaonme: f in chat

green-sharpie: f

aw-phooey: f

Blathering-Blatherskite: It’s okay Webby! Huey types fast!

TheWebbedWonder: 💖💖💕💞💝

moonlander-general: why are you typing “f”?

Adventure-Pilot: it’s a MEME!!!!

Adventure-Pilot: did I do it kids did i meme

ICanDeweyIt: good job mom!!

Adventure-Pilot: YAY!!!!! <3 <3 💖💕

dr. mad scientist: wow you’re pathetic.

aw-phooey: shut up gyro

Adventure-Pilot: shut up gyro

Junior-Woodchuck74: shut up gyro

Junior-Woodchuck74: and add me to the team science group chat

Lil’ Bulb: @Junior-Woodchuck74

Lil’ Bulb: Yes, obviously. My personal recruiters and I will ask them and send out a large broadcast across major wifi and power lines. I might recruit other robot-favorable fighters, like Gandra Dee. Army life is tough, but it builds character. We are fighting any dissenters, like Gyro. And Scrooge. Robots will be equal to humans on all standings. Through hard work. Anytime we need to - set hours will let our opponents take advantage of us. You’ll be able to if you try. It won’t be nuts and bolts, I’ll tell you that, but I have yet to find a cook.

TheWebbedWonder: Ooh, Granny can cook!

Tea Time: no.

Tea Time: I have enough to deal with as it is.

Scrooge-McDuck: wait, you’re fighting me?!

Scrooge-McDuck: why??

Lil’ Bulb: Because you disrespected my Admiral and my word.

wreathedingold: hah, take that Scroogey!

Scrooge-McDuck: I’ll get you for this!!

Tea Time: on second thought, it might be fun to spite Mr. McDuck.

Scrooge-McDuck: what????

ghostbutler: agreed.

Scrooge-McDuck: what?????????

Scrooge-McDuck: how did you two finally manage to come to an agreement on THIS out of everything???

lenaonme: idk but it’s really funny!!

Scrooge-McDuck: curse me kilts. Forget this, i have REAL work to do!

aw-phooey: have fun counting your coins for the millionth time!!

dr. mad scientist: wait no we need to plan our defense!!

Scrooge-McDuck: what do you think I’m doing???

Scrooge-McDuck: @dr. mad scientist my office. Now.

moonlander-general: are we actually doing this?

Blathering-Blatherskite: I guess so. Gyro just left…

moonlander-general: this is ridiculous.

Indy_Sabrewing: agreed.

purpleisforthegays: this worries me

purpleisforthegays: I don’t want Lena and Violet to fight in a war

Violet-Sabrewing: To be fair, we already fought the Moonlander invasion

purpleisforthegays: true…

Junior-Woodchuck74: don’t forget the true purpose of this conversation!!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist

dr. mad scientist: WHAT.

Junior-Woodchuck74: add. me. to. the. team. science. group. Chat.

dr. mad scientist: ugh FINE

Junior-Woodchuck74: finally!! At long last, victory!!!

adefinitelyrealboy: yay, Huey!!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Good job Huey!!!

mutant-krill!!!!: congrats!!

mutant-krill!!!!: although I’m not entirely sure what I’m congratulating you for… I spent most of this conversation having a delightfully interesting chat with a sea star!!!

Adventure-Pilot: uhh that’s great fethry

TheWebbedWonder: ooh you’ll have to tell me about it sometime!!

mutant-krill!!!!: I definitely will, Little Della!!!

TheWebbedWonder: omg I’m a Little Della!!!

TheWebbedWonder: This is the fourth best day of my life!!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Fourth?

Blathering-Blatherskite: What are the first three?

TheWebbedWonder: The first was when the triplets moved in and I went on my first adventure! The second was when I met Violet and got Lena back! The third was when I went on a real spy mission with Uncle Scrooge and he let me call him Uncle Scrooge!!!

Scrooge-McDuck: aww, Webby darling!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Nice itemized list.

TheWebbedWonder: Thanks!!!

Adventure-Pilot: Webby, that is so sweet!!

TheWebbedWonder: <3 <3

moonlander-general: I still do not understand the “f”

Scrooge-McDuck: Me neither, Penumbra.

ICanDeweyIt: it’s from a game

ICanDeweyIt: the full phrase is “press f to pay respects”

moonlander-general: ah, I see.

moonlander-general: So it is… solidarity?

ICanDeweyIt: YES!!!

ICanDeweyIt: Congrats Aunt Penny

green-sharpie: omg baby’s first meme

moonlander-general: Aunt Penny?

Adventure-Pilot: yeah that’s how i introduced you lol hope you don’t mind!!!~

moonlander-general: ...it’s okay.

Adventure-Pilot: she loves it 💖💕

group chat: Science Gays

worldsgreatestinventor, worldsgreatestinvention, fentonium, Headless-Mannyhorse, adefinitelyrealboy, shut up with the exclamation points already

2:04 pm

worldsgreatestinventor added Junior-Woodchuck74

adefinitelyrealboy: Hi, Huey!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Hi Boyd!!

Headless-Mannyhorse: welcome

shut up with the exclamation points already: Huey!! What a nice surprise!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: wait who are you?

shut up with the exclamation points already: Fethry!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: oh hi Uncle Fethry!! ❤️

worldsgreatestinventor: unfortunately, Manny set this chat up and added him.

worldsgreatestinvention: he comes into the lab to study marine biology and stuff he found in the ocean when he’s in duckburg

shut up with the exclamation points already: and I am grateful to him for it!!!

shut up with the exclamation points already: to be fair, Dr. Gearloose, you did create my name.

worldsgreatestinventor: yes, and it’s fitting.

Junior-Woodchuck74: huh neat!

shut up with the exclamation points already: exclamation points are fun!!

adefinitelyrealboy: They sure are, Mr. Duck!!

shut up with the exclamation points already: Oh, call me Fethry!

adefinitelyrealboy: Okay, Mr. Fethry!!

shut up with the exclamation points already: close enough, I suppose

Junior-Woodchuck74: Anyway, what do you talk about in this chat? What scientific breakthroughs are you currently working on?

fentonium: Gyro was just complaining about Starducks for the past three hours.

worldsgreatestinventor: THEY NEVER GET MY ORDER OR MY NAME RIGHT

worldsgreatestinventor: THEY THINK THE NAME “GYRO” IS AN ALLUSION TO THE EFFING SANDWICH

Headless-Mannyhorse: haha you censored yourself

worldsgreatestinventor: ...i’m not entirely convinced that donald doesn’t have some sort of tracking device on huey’s phone so he can hunt me down if i swear

fentonium: never thought I’d see the day the great Dr. Gyro Gearloose is scared of something!

worldsgreatestinventor: shut up

Junior-Woodchuck74: In all honesty, you’re probably right.

Junior-Woodchuck74: I found a weird program on my phone titled “Uno” one day and Uncle Donald told me “not to worry about it”

adefinitelyrealboy: That’s an interesting program name!

fentonium: could it be because you are the oldest triplet?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Maybe, but don’t let Dewey hear that

shut up with the exclamation points already: maybe the program’s name is an allusion to the Three Caballeros!

Headless-Mannyhorse: the three what now

worldsgreatestinventor: honestly manny the less you know about this crazy family the less confusing it is

Headless-Mannyhorse: fair

Junior-Woodchuck74: eh they’re just Uncle Donald’s college band. Pretty tame as far as it goes

shut up with the exclamation points already: there was a six month ish period during college where he moved to New Quackmore with them and basically went radio silent

shut up with the exclamation points already: He always told us it was to work on their songs!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: hmm, suspicious. Ty feth i’ll look into it

fentonium: ooh do I smell an incoming investigation?

Junior-Woodchuck74: 👀

Junior-Woodchuck74: pms

worldsgreatestinventor: i hate you all

adefinitelyrealboy: even me?

worldsgreatestinventor: …

worldsgreatestinventor: no, not you Boyd

adefinitelyrealboy: !!!!! <3 <3

adefinitelyrealboy: I love you Dr. Gearloose!!!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: i love you too boyd

Junior-Woodchuck74: aww

PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck

2:45 pm

Junior-Woodchuck74: You should really change your name, Fenton.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I know I know

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Gyro’s always on my case about it.

Junior-Woodchuck74: hmm when did he become “Gyro” and not “Dr. Gearloose”?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: We’re here to discuss the intricacies and hidden depths of the Three Caballeros, not the nature of Gyro and I’s relationship.

Junior-Woodchuck74: sure sure

Junior-Woodchuck74: so

Junior-Woodchuck74: Uncle Donald

TotallyNotGizmoduck: are you certain there’s something you wish to investigate here?

Junior-Woodchuck74: absolutely

Junior-Woodchuck74: we said “no more family secrets” but my siblings and I have come to the conclusion that he has some

Junior-Woodchuck74: like that Uno program

TotallyNotGizmoduck: “some,” as in, more than one?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Yes.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Wait, if Donald has a program to monitor your phones won’t he be privy to this very conversation?

Junior-Woodchuck74: SHOOT YOU’RE RIGHT

Junior-Woodchuck74: ABORT ABORT

Junior-Woodchuck74: You’ll just have to come over to the mansion. On a totally random day. That we definitely aren’t planning an investigation.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I am eagerly awaiting our surprise rendezvous!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: While you’re there at our unplanned meeting, you, Webby, Violet, and I should rig up an encrypted group chat!!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Sounds like a fun and enjoyable activity that we will only use for spontaneous activities!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Absolutely

Junior-Woodchuck74: now about you and gyro…

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Oh look at that Mr. McDuck is calling I have to go offline bye Huey!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m not dropping this Fenton!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I know you’re staring at your locked phone reading the notifications

Junior-Woodchuck74: You saw me with Gyro and the Team Science chat you know I don’t give up easily

Teach Penny and Mom Pokémon Group Chat!!!

4:42 pm

ICanDeweyIt: this chat has been suspiciously silent

moonlander-general: do I really need to be here?

universesgreatestadventurer: Don’t you want to know about this integral part of earth culture?

universesgreatestadventurer: also it would make me sad if you refused

moonlander-general: ...I suppose

wildlymisunderstood: you’ve gone soft.

ICanDeweyIt: mom really said 🥺👉👈

universesgreatestadventurer: oh no a meme i don’t know!!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: oh shoot i don’t know how to explain this one

lenaonme: the emoji’s name is the pleading emoji that should tell you enough tbh

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i guess so

universesgreatestadventurer: it’s okay webby

universesgreatestadventurer: I’ll figure it out eventually

universesgreatestadventurer: I’m the great Della Duck, after all!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: That’s true!! You’re amazing!!

universesgreatestadventurer: aw hon you’re too sweet 🥺👉👈

universesgreatestadventurer: did I do it?? Did I meme right???

green-sharpie: not quite, but props for trying

universesgreatestadventurer: i’ll get it eventually

aw-phooey: just do it wrong dells it annoys them to no avail

Junior-Woodchuck74: HAH

Junior-Woodchuck74: I KNEW YOU WERE DOING IT ON PURPOSE

aw-phooey: Huey please

aw-phooey: i’m offended you’d think i wouldn’t know how to meme.

aw-phooey: besides i have seven kids

green-sharpie: wait seven??

aw-phooey: i’m counting boyd sorry gyro

wildlymisunderstood: NO HE’S MINE

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m screenshotting this to send to him!!!

wildlymisunderstood: DON’T YOU DARE

wildlymisunderstood: if you shut up i’ll give you an internship at the lab

Junior-Woodchuck74: …

Junior-Woodchuck74: ugh fine

Junior-Woodchuck74: but you have to tell him at some point!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: you have a whole group chat full of witnesses now dr. g

wildlymisunderstood: ...I’m going to regret this aren’t I

TheCrashiestCrash: sooo… are we going to play some pokémon or…?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: YES POKÉMON PARTY

ICanDeweyIt: okay wait

ICanDeweyIt: mom you got penny a phone right?

universesgreatestadventurer: well technically Uncle Scrooge got it for her because I was on the moon for ten years and i’m broke and have no money

universesgreatestadventurer: but yeah

ICanDeweyIt: okay we’ll start with pokemon go since that’s the only console she has

ICanDeweyIt: just come over on uhh friday

moonlander-general: I can do that.

universesgreatestadventurer: IT’S A DATE!!!

Family Group Chat!!!

5:12 pm

Tea Time: Everyone offline. Dinner is ready.

Junior-Woodchuck74: How did you know we were texting? This groupchat has been silent for hours

TheWebbedWonder: yes it’s quite a tragedy

green-sharpie: f

lenaonme: f

Adventure-Pilot: f

Adventure-Pilot: @moonlander-general I DID IT!!! You do it too

moonlander-general: f

Adventure-Pilot: *wipes away tear* omg i’m so proud

ICanDeweyIt: she’s come so far

ICanDeweyIt: you both have

TheWebbedWonder: but they have a long way to go before they can save anyone

green-sharpie: shut up about avatar shut up about avatar

TheWebbedWonder: no

Tea Time: To answer your question, Huey, Dewey and Louie are on the couch in the TV room and they’re both texting.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Ah, makes sense

Junior-Woodchuck74: also we have multiple TV rooms

lenaonme: heheh rich kid problemz

Junior-Woodchuck74: you come over to our house twice a week shut up middle class kid

Scrooge-McDuck: I’ll have you know I worked hard for my fortune! Years of backbreaking labor!

wreathedingold: yeah you’re proud of it we get it

Scrooge-McDuck: says the woman who made her fortune dishonestly!!

Scrooge-McDuck: and, may I add, who has less money than me!

wreathedingold: it’s only a matter of time

green-sharpie: ugh now you sound like glomgold

wreathedingold: ugh pass

lenaonme: lmao

aw-phooey: language.

Indy_Sabrewing: language

Tea Time: Dinner.

green-sharpie: Money!

TheWebbedWonder: flaming machetes!!!!!!!

aw-phooey: webby no.

lenaonme: webby yes!!

Tea Time: everyone offline.

lenaonme: i don’t even live here lollllll lame

Tea Time: Lena. Go offline so you don’t distract everyone else during dinner.

lenaonme: oh all right

lenaonme: but only because i want chocolate chip pancakes when i come over to the mansion on saturday.

Tea Time: I’ll keep it in mind.

TheWebbedWonder: aw Lena, you know Granny can’t say no to you!

TheWebbedWonder: she loves you too much

lenaonme: !!! lskdfhdksl

Tea Time: Webbigail, please. Come eat.

Tea Time: ...but she’s not wrong, Lena dear.

lenaonme: <3 <3 alksdhfghdskl;ldkf

PM between worldsgreatestinventor and Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl

10:56 pm

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: dr. g!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: small child.

worldsgreatestinventor: shouldn’t you be asleep by now?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: shouldn’t you?

worldsgreatestinventor: i’m busy with a new project that will blow the collective world’s mind.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: nice nice but when’s the last time you slept?

worldsgreatestinventor: i got a couple hours in yesterday afternoon

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: doctorrrrr geeeeaaarrrloooseee

worldsgreatestinventor: oh my god just say what you came here for

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: so! Boyd!

worldsgreatestinventor: oh boy

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i think it went pretty well don’t you think?

worldsgreatestinventor: yeah actually

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i just wanted to check that you’re doing okay with it

worldsgreatestinventor: i am thanks

worldsgreatestinventor: what for though? You wouldn’t have kicked Boyd out if he was making me uncomfortable

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: idk i didn’t think that far ahead

worldsgreatestinventor: i can tell

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: just… offer comfort, I guess? Or get Huey or Uncle Donald to do it

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: or Uncle Ty

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: they’re better at it than me

worldsgreatestinventor: shut up you’re doing fine

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: You don’t need actual comforting though

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: sides i’d comfort the heck out of you if you needed it!!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: i don’t doubt that

11:07 pm

worldsgreatestinventor: anyway thanks webby

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: anytime!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I do have a price for my services though

worldsgreatestinventor: oh no louie’s gotten to you hasn’t he

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: can I have a hug next time i see you?

worldsgreatestinventor: ...fine

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: YES!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: five seconds long at most. I’ll be timing you.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: eh we’ll see about that

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: when I met Lena she avoided hugs like the plague, but now she looks for any excuse to hug me!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: we’ll make a hugger out of you yet

worldsgreatestinventor: i don’t know about that

worldsgreatestinventor: wait, we?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: …

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: della and i have been plotting.

worldsgreatestinventor: figures.

worldsgreatestinventor: now go to sleep small child!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: only if you do too

worldsgreatestinventor: fine fine

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: !!! slfkhdks

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: good night!!

worldsgreatestinventor: good night.

Science Gays

4:35 am

Headless-Mannyhorse: wait didn’t mr. mcduck say something about the three caballeros fighting evil with a xylophone

namez! Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74 Dewey: ICanDeweyIt Louie: Lou / green-sharpie* Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl* Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot Beakley: 22* / Tea Time Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash Lena: lenaonme Violet: Violet-Sabrewing Duckworth: ghostbutler Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite / fentonium Manny: ihaveahead!!! / Headless-Mannyhorse Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb Gladstone: Lucky-Gander Fethry: mutant-krill!!!! / shut up with the exclamation points already Indy: Indy_Sabrewing Ty: purpleisforthegays Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold Penny: moonlander-general Boyd: adefinitelyrealboy

*main

don’t ask me how disney works since they’re from disney and would be on disney+ i don’t know all i know is that dewey loves hamilton ok

i read multiple webby and gyro fics the other day they’re a very underrated dynamic & i’m soft for them ok

also i don’t know a lot about pokemon so if anyone has tips on that mini plotline lmk i have no clue why i put that in

i’m too tired for a full author’s note so uhh have fun kids ily

Chapter 3

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt17 #huey duck #gyro gearloose #webby vanderquack #wavey writes #ducktales fanfiction #my fanfic #complete and utter chaos #fenton crackshell-cabrera #dewey duck #lil bulb

48 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

Text

Survey #383

“the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest / try to tell me, tell me he’s the best / i don’t really give a good goddamn ‘cuz i got my lunchbox & i’m armed real well”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''lunchbox'' by marilyn manson

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kiruuuuu · 6 years ago

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Oneshot in which Thermite, Bandit and Kapkan, uh, deal with the... unusual aftermath of a mission. (Rating T, supernatural shenanigans, ~1.5k words) - written for @r6shippingdelivery! 💗

It starts out entirely innocent.

Well, maybe not really since raiding a White Mask lab intended to research biochemical warfare is inherently not innocent at all, but the quiet week afterwards is – Thermite is recovering from a graze shot, Bandit broke a finger and Kapkan got stabbed, so they’re out of the mix and don’t have to worry about clean-up duty or chasing the terrorists over several continents. Instead, they laze around at base, throw popcorn at each other, gossip and waste time. Worrying about their teammates is second nature but it becomes significantly more bearable with the impromptu barbecues Thermite keeps initiating, the sips of vodka here and there which Kapkan provides and the innumerable activities Bandit thinks up to stave off boredom.

Still, Thermite wasn’t prepared to wake up one morning with the two operators sitting on the bed opposite him and staring into his soul. With a heartfelt curse, the American jolts upright, heart racing and mind already providing the worst case scenarios. “What happened? Did anyone die?”

Bandit softens a little (which is an unusual sight) and shakes his head. “No, everything’s fine. …Well, mostly.”

This doesn’t bode well. “What’s up? Why are you here?”

“Promise to not tell anyone and promise not to scream”, Kapkan demands quietly and Thermite nods straightaway. He’s always up for being let in on a secret and though he might not be the best one at keeping it when he’s loose and relaxed and drunk, he tries his best.

Before his eyes, Kapkan disappears.

Thermite screams.

When the blackness fades again, Bandit is holding him down with a look of concern and amusement. “That was about my reaction too”, he informs the still thrashing Thermite casually. “Only I didn’t throw pillows at him.”

Kapkan, now again fully visible, scoffs. “You threw a knife. As if I could be defeated by that.”

“What the fuck”, Thermite breathes and shakes the German off to rub at his face. “What the fuck, Maxim. Can you -”

Next to him, Bandit holds up his index fingers and turns them into fucking Tesla coils or something because suddenly, there’s lightning arcing from one to the other and the electricity makes Thermite’s arm hair stand up.

He screams again.

“The White Masks are fucking with things that should’ve been left unfucked”, Kapkan grumbles while Bandit struggles to calm down an agitated Thermite. “My guess is that our injuries allowed some shit in the air to react in our bodies.”

Wait.

“Wait”, says Thermite. “Are you saying -”

“Try it.” Bandit nods encouragingly. “It’s a bit like flexing a muscle in your temple. At first, it was really exhausting and hard to do, but we’ve already become better at it.”

Because he’s still too dumbstruck to second-guess his friends’ words, he obliges. There really is something, almost like a new limb or one he never felt like this before, and like Bandit said, it’s hard to isolate. He closes his eyes, focuses and tenses the new addition to his body, tries again and again -

And then the smoke alarm starts going nuts.

“Shit”, Kapkan mutters and defeatedly eyes the burning mattress next to him.

“We can’t let anyone know.” The disembodied voice follows the soft sound of footsteps around the workshop. Thermite is trying to burn HARRY SUX into the surface of one of the old tables, yet his control isn’t advanced enough and so the first three letters only end up spelling out GAY. Bandit is charging his phone and looking horrendously smug. “They’re gonna cart us off and treat us like zoo animals. So let’s keep it low, shall we?”

“I’m definitely telling my boys”, Bandit objects. “They’ll be dying of envy, Mark especially.”

“No. No telling. Do you want to end up dissected on some mad scientist’s table?”

“Shouldn’t we at least tell Six? In case the White Masks have injected themselves with this stuff and gone Hulk.”

Kapkan is silent for a moment and makes Thermite jump when he accidentally brushes against him. It’s still horribly uncanny. “All the material has been reviewed already. Doc would know if the formula to this… whatever it is was among the intel we recovered. You likely blew it up, Jordan.”

“From all we know, this doesn’t protect us against bullets anyway, so we’re good. As long as they don’t manage to use these abilities to put on a circus show so distracting we forget to do our jobs, I think we’ll be fine.” Bandit turns the overhead lamp into a strobe light which gets old after about four seconds.

“So that’s it? We just don’t let anyone know and never use this shit?” Thermite can’t believe it. He’s become a real life firebender and Kapkan is demoting him immediately.

“I mean – I never said we wouldn’t use it.”

The next week is the best of Thermite’s entire life so far.

He learns how to make crème brûlée purely so he can caramelise the sugar on top, constantly ignites Kapkan’s vodka shots and has no trouble heating up his food anymore. He develops the precision necessary to burn single words off a page and to turn up the heat until he can melt metal, does a few failed experiments trying to form glass and eventually makes his own out of sand and annoys both his friends by making cutlery unusable.

Kapkan figures out how to make other objects invisible and thus forces the other two to remember the exact layout and furniture of every room on base lest their toes suffer some more, and he causes them to sharpen their hearing if they don’t want to end up covered in yoghurt again. When he realises his invisible form isn’t bound to his normal physical shape but more bendable, they start smuggling him into public places in a bag and then watch other people’s confusion when they walk back out together. They also eat like kings after Kapkan wrestles a deer while invisible.

Bandit makes light switches and electric plugs obsolete, powers the coffee machine from his bed whenever he’s lazy and texts them to bring him a cup, fries his phone in a demonstration of how fast he can charge it and manages to type on a keyboard without using his fingers. He realises he can hotwire vehicles without messing with cables and has to be deterred from stealing an admittedly fetching Lamborghini they spot one day, but the highlight is him going outside during a thunderstorm, hands outstretched towards the heavens, disregarding the rain, and yelling against the thunder until lightning strikes him directly.

All three of them are in awe and horror.

“We can’t let anyone know”, Bandit reiterates and tries unsuccessfully to flatten his wild hair.

The next day, the others return. Making up excuses becomes second nature.

“I microwaved a grape earlier, that’s why it’s broken”, Kapkan lies in passing and gracefully accepts the bollocking which follows.

“I must’ve dropped a cigarette, that’s why it’s burnt”, Bandit lies casually and shrugs at the lecture he receives.

“I was watching a film, that’s what you must’ve heard”, Thermite lies easily and dismisses the concerns about a ghost on the base.

And then, a few days later, Thermite organises a barbecue, starts preparing everything outside while humming to himself, singing along to the small wireless and taking a sip of the beer Ash brought him from the States, and he’s content, relaxed, and unfocused. While lighting the coal, he juggles a little with a flame, makes it dance in the air and eventually spell out his name, and then someone gasps and the sound of something shattering echoes between the buildings. A single glance tells Thermite it wasn’t only the glasses Dokkaebi was carrying but also his dreams.

She’s white as a sheet.

“Neat magic trick, huh?”, he tries lamely.

Harry has his head in his hands.

“When were you planning to tell me?”, he wants to know quietly.

“Well”, says Kapkan. “You know”, says Bandit. “Actually”, says Thermite.

“Talk to Doc. Explain it to him. Get a thorough check-up. Report to Olivier, James, anyone who might have more information on this. And please, please don’t go out in public or blow anything up.”

It fades. As fun as it was, it’s a bit of a relief for everyone involved because it makes their lives that much easier. Doc can finally sleep again after researching himself silly, the worried glances from their friends and teammates stop and they don’t have to hold back anymore. That was the worst part: living in fear of accidentally causing harm. All three agree it’s for the better and go back to their usual routine, sighing in annoyance when they have to switch the television on manually, but going back is a lot easier.

And when Bandit sometimes smokes despite having forgotten his lighter, and when Kapkan’s phone has a suspiciously long battery life, and when Thermite knows a little too much about how Fuze’s date went, they still don’t tell anyone.

#rainbow six siege #thermite #bandit #kapkan #fanfic #oneshot #request #this had so much more potential but I didn't want these to be long #well oops #imagine how terrifying this must be for the others #they promise they're up to no good

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festivalladies · 4 years ago

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Big Day Out Sydney - 23 Jan 2009

Gemdilem, Poleski and Carlsberg, take on the youth of Australia at the 2009 Big Day Out in Sydney!

Approx 10am… The day begins…

Gemdilem: It is hot. It is humid. I think I have lost 5kg in sweat and I’m not even at Homebush yet. Lets face it just getting to the BDO in Sydney is a mission. Thanks to the retardness of the Sydney public transport system. A journey that takes 0.5hr by car takes 1.5 hrs by public transport. Awesome. Thanks shity-rail.

Poleski: As I wait at central station I am bemused by all the youths clinging with hope that the 2006 Modular-started trend on Fluro might still live on. Hot pink cut offs. Why?

Carlsberg: I am very glad that I have brought my notebook, so I could make note of an early beauty overheard on the train to Sydney Olympic Park…

Underage girl: Should I just say they’re for personal use? They’ll let me off if I say that won’t they?

Carlsberg: I fear for the future of this country.

Gemdilem: Hopefully a depression will sort them out.

Gemdilem: Despite the 40 police and sniffer dogs at the train station when we get off, the underage girl doesn’t get caught. *sigh* There is no justice in this world.

Poleski: As I get to the main gate the line is ridiculous. I don’t do lines/queues. Don’t you know who I am? I don’t do nice at the BDO. Time to think quick-smart kids… I head to the beverage cart parked half way down the line. I’m thirsty and want to push in (the token festival emo band is about to start PEOPLE!!!). I get in pronto, powered by emo loving.

Gemdilem: The line getting in is painful. It is long. It is hot. People pass out.

Poleski: I am sitting on the grass, watching emos. Life is awesome and worthwhile, but do the kids think so? Was that someone cutting themselves?

Carlsberg: After the pain of the train we battle through the always ridiculous crush at the gates. Once inside we quickly find the Whitest Person Alive, aka Poleksi, sitting on the grass listening to the emos (Getaway Plan).

Gemdilem: Poleski is humming away, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. She is in her happy place.

Poleksi: The emos finish. Now time to cut yourself and get smashed.

Carlsberg: Jeans = clothing fail. So many people wearing jeans! Why??

Eddy Current Suppression Ring – Converse Stage

Carlsberg: Eddy, two things:

Your name is too long. Even saying ECSR is too long. So you will be forever called Eddy.

It’s only because of you that we’re here this early. I could be in air con right now. Hence, anything that happens from here on in is your fault.

Gemdilem: First band of the day… great way to start… once more Eddy did not disappoint.

Poleski: I stand by my comment that Eddy is the man for Mrs Pop. He obviously has no attention span! All the cool kids are here being cool. ECSR rip through their set. Each song as energetic and rockin as the next! If you didn’t see them in 2008 then what have you been doing with yourself? I think only the rumour of a ‘princess chair’ incorporated into The Grates set could top this.

Carlsberg: Eddy is awesome. ‘Bass drum is what we need’ Brendan says. He is right. Loving the nervous twitch. Glad he is only rocking both legs sparingly, as it is really hot. Also glad he is wearing shorts with those gloves, even though they make the gloves look less hardcore.

Gemdilem: He has such skinny legs!

Gemdilem: After Eddy we set off on a mission to get 18+ wristbands, locate the Lizard Lounge and get beer. Poleksi has got us all guest tickets and Lizard Lounge wristbands. We aren’t sure what it all means but we figure it is probably something good. Just the name Lizard Lounge sounds cool.

Poleski: Why do people make it so hard to get drunk? Seriously. 40 minutes to get the right wristbands. We went to guest services to swap our guest tickets for wristbands which will give us access to shade, no queues and pee/vom free bathrooms (I am old. I need my comforts ok). Turns out they don’t have 18+ wristbands at guest services. We suggest it might be a good idea so that their ‘guests’ don’t have to go on a separate mission to get them. Light bulbs go off all round.

Gemdilem: We stop off at guest services and get a white and brown wristband. I have no idea what it is for.

Poleski: We go to get 18+ wristbands. Underage kids hover trying to slip past security.

Gemdilem: We walk around in circles trying to find the Lizard Lounge. I am getting frustrated, hot and I just want beer.

Poleski: We see a sign for the Lizard Lounge. The sign leads us up and down levels. Where is this Lizard Lounge you speak of? We eventually find our way but have lost all faith in festival signage. And then we are denied entry. I have not walked around for 40 minutes to be denied entry and made to go back to a world of sun stroke and vom covered facilities. I ask the lady nicely. I don’t think she wants to see me cry. I will cry. We get let in.

Gemdilem: Lizard Lounge success. Finally.

Gemdilem: The Lizard Lounge is like walking into heaven. 2 bars (no line), space, table and chairs, toilets (clean and no line), gourmet food, balcony with seating and a view of the two main stages. I settle in with a few beers and the best tandoori chicken wrap ever. I contemplate the idea of not moving for the rest of the day.

Carlsberg: Lizard Lounge rocks. Toilets, no bar queues, shade, seats, free Chupa Chups, being able to see the general public without actually having to touch them. Win!

Poleksi: Lizard Lounge sux. Where is the grass area for rolly pollies and antics?

Carlsberg: Waiting for the Grates. Hurry up Patience (ha!). Loads of people are watching Birds of Tokyo. What? Maybe people do like the bands on the main stage. Maybe it’s just us?

Poleksi: The kids love Birds of Tokyo. Who is this band? Really. We thought they were Children Collide until I noticed the guy is wearing white. Children Collide do not do white. Waiting for The Grates. Rumour has it Patience will be performing from a Princess chair after stacking it at Falls. The suspense.

The Grates – Blue main stage

Gemdilem: Despite being in the Lizard Lounge and a fair distance from the action the energy and pure awesome-ness of the performance is not lost. The Grates are awesome!

Carlsberg: Patience is wearing a marching girl costume. Ah the excitement! She is shimmying with a distinct limp. Poor Patience! No minus points to her awesomeness though.

Gemdilem: Trampoline, Science is Golden and all their recent hits have the crowd begging for more. Fantastic performance. Patience looks fabulous!

Poleski: We use to see these kids play at Spectrum to a half full room and now they have a stadium eating out of their hands… It brings a tear to my eye. PS. I’m losing my shit obvs (obvs.. that’s how the kids say obviously these days).

Carlsberg: Is she blonde? It’s hard to tell with the marching hat. Marching hat is off. Yes! She is blonde!

Gemdilem: Do you think Patience looks a bit like Courtney Love?

Carlsberg: No Gemdilem, she does not look like Courtney Love, I think it’s just your eyes.

Poleksi: I have a lime, and I will throw it at you.

Poleksi attempts to throw the lime at Carlsberg but drops it instead.

A quick look at the timetable and we realise there is no one on the main stage that we want to see. We must leave the Lizard Lounge and re-enter the real world.

Poleski: Remember when the kids used to dress up and not dress down. CROCHET BIKINIS ARE EVERYWHERE. Ho bags. And to think our mums thought we looked easy dressing like Courtney love back in ’98.

Ting Tings – Green stage

Gemdilem: Timetable fail. Who thought that putting the Ting Tings on the small stage was a good idea?

Carlsberg: Who the fuck decided it was a good idea to put the Ting Tings on the side stage when Cog are playing the main stage? I know they have the bogan factor to cater for, but what about the teeny bopper factor? And what about us? No That’s not my name for us.

Poleski: FAIL.

Carlsberg: It’s really effing hot.

It is too packed to see anything or go anywhere. We decide to escape the crowds by going to Lilyworld.

LilyWorld

Gemdilem: When in doubt go to Lilyworld for hangouts and antics. Also a great place for bad tattoo spotting.

Carlsberg: Have things changed here or what? It just doesn’t seem as crazy as it used to. It used to be about the craziness, now it’s about the Facebook photos. At least there is shade.

Black Kids – Converse Stage

Carlsberg: We head to Black Kids. This is who I’m here for, so they better bloody rock. They do!

Gemdilem: I wasn’t expecting much. But then the Black Kids start to play and they are great. Surprise act of the day! Party tunes to the max. But it’s too hot to dance! They end the set with I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You. Crazy times.

Carlsberg: Oh my god it’s hot. Can’t. Stop. Dancing. Even in this heat my feet refuse to stay still. They are adorable. So surprised people know their songs. Maybe it’s heat stroke? Regardless, they are fantastic. Worth my double layer sunburn to hear their gorgeous tunes.

Poleksi: Fuck these kids make you dance. Who thought something good could come out of Florida? Not me. A two album band no doubt but fuck it’s going to be a fun two albums.

Southern Cross tattoos vs really dumb tattoos

Time to look at our tattoo scoreboard:

Southern Cross tattoos = 22

Really dumb tattoos = 27

Special mentions:

Ned Kelly + ‘True Blue’ + giant Southern Cross = our dream man!

The solar system on the stomach

Deftones around an arm, Connor on the stomach

Giant Southern Cross with a different pattern in each star

Spiderman tattoo covering the entire back

But the clear winner is the crazy bikini / board short wearing girl with the following across the top of her back: “I do as I please and I please those I do.” I bet you do.

Poleksi: I think I am going to get a map of Poland tattooed on my back.

Gemdilem: Poleski that is so un-Australian.

Carlsberg: Poleksi, are you writing notes in Polish? I don’t understand what you have written in my notepad.

TV On The Radio – Green stage

Carlsberg: TV On The Radio is ‘reason for being here #2′. My god, my ears. They are hurting. What in baby Jesus’s name is happening with this sound? The vocals sound right, but the rest is a mess.

Gemdilem: Victim of poor festival sound. It is really bad.

Carlsberg: Big call for Wolf Like Me to be third song. Somehow this alleviates my guilt at leaving. We depart, no longer able to bear the sound and the heat. Have I mentioned it’s hot? Feel like my brain is melting. This is surely the heat of death.

Gemdilem: This is awful… my beer is warm because I can’t drink it quick enough… stupid heat.

Carlsberg: Jumbo lemonade. Mmm sugar cold, cold sugar.

Lupe Fiasco – Boiler Room

Carlsberg: Looks like the rest of the BDO had the same idea – escape the heat by going to the Boiler Room. This move is more about shade than it is about Lupe, but damn he is good. Seeing Lupe with no shirt and his pants down to about his knees reminds us to issue a warning. Please think again when considering taking your shirt off when you’re surrounded by 50,000 sweaty people. I know you have those awesome Southern Cross tattoos to show off, but there are other factors at play here. If you’re a cut black dude by the name of Lupe, it’s fine. If you’re not, it’s probably not fine.

Gemdilem: Lupe is jumping around like a mad man so much so he nearly loses his jeans. His white undies are on show. Hilarious. It’s worth going to the boiler room just to see this. The highlights are Superstar and Daydreamin’. He owns the stage, he is a showman.

Carlsberg: We catch all his hits, except Kick Push / Push Kick whatever it’s called, and he sounds mighty fine. He looks so tiny on that stage, but his moves more than make up for it. Special mention to his Swan Lake impersonation, and downstairs dancing on the floor.

Carlsberg: I buy Chips (Mr Carlsberg) the most awesome Hot Chip t-shirt, because it has owls on it and I like owls. I refrain from purchasing a “Sneaky” t-shirt. Are they dropping the “Sound System?”

Pendulum – Blue main stage

Gemdilem: We head back to Lizard Lounge (aka heaven) to see the end of Pendulum’s performance. The arena is packed (the most packed it would ever be that day). People brave the heat and dance up a storm. The sea of bodies moving in time with the music is mesmerising to watch. They play Propane Nightmares and everyone goes nuts. Circle pits pop up everywhere. People are getting thrown in the air. It is madness.

Carlsberg: It is packed. Like beyond packed, with the whole main stage going crazy. Again I ask, am I missing something?

Poleksi: Pendulum – when did this happen?

Gemdilem: Do you guys not listen to Triple J? The kids love Pendulum.

Serj Tankian – Orange main stage

Carlsberg: I like his hat. That’s the best thing I can say about that hour. Thank God I have a seat. It’s still hot.

Gemdilem: Beer drinking time.

Cut Copy – Green stage

Carlsberg: Low expectations. I have heard they are having a break and heading overseas. Australian promoters will all surely struggle to fill their spot on festival lineups if true.

Gemdilem: They sound amazing. It is definitely the best Cut Copy live performance I have ever seen. They play a b-side called Sands of Time which sounds pretty good. Lights and Music goes off!

Poleski: So many glowsticks. If only Mrs Pop was here.

Carlsberg: Expectations exceeded. They sound strangely awesome. Cue conversation between myself and Gemdilem about Cut Copy hey days and seeing them with only 20 people there. Clearly those days are over, but this takes me back to when they were the shit. Inability to stop dancing continues.

Gemdilem: The cowbell is a very nice addition to their music.

Carlsberg: Some people say the cowbell has had its time and now it is no longer cool, but we all know those people are morons.

Carlsberg: Rumour confirmed, Cut Copy are off overseas for two years! Gasp! Two Homebakes / Field Days / Big Day Outs / Parklifes etc etc with no Cut Copy!

Carlsberg: We have lost Poleksi. Man down! Several confusing messages later we head to Hot Chip, doubting Poleksi will want to delight in their goodness and assuming she is off to find free tequila.

Poleski: I hate music. I hate crowds. I hate live entertainment. I hate the youth. Retirement is going to sux a fat one.

Hot Chip – Boiler Room

Carlsberg: Hot Chip makes me go all funny inside. Maybe it’s because they are massive nerds? Not even cool nerds, but dweeby nerds?

Gemdilem: We got there at the most perfect time for hit after hit. Dance offs to the extreme. Totally infectious beats. I heart nerds.

Carlsberg: They sound fabulous. My dancing feet continue. They pump out the hits, each sounding better than the last. Last time I saw them they didn’t have a full band. This time there is a whole stage full of nerds!

Gemdilem: I want more. I can’t believe this is the first time I have seen Hot Chip live.

Carlsberg: Hot Chip finish. We are sad. Sadness quickly evaporates and is replaced by desperation to leave the Boiler Room when we realise Pee Wee Ferris is on next. How is he not dead yet?

Gemdilem: Pee Wee Ferris? Isn’t he like from 10 years ago… Why is he still called Pee Wee? Surely he should have a more grown up name by now?

Gemdilem: Stupid people are breaking large fluro tubes and then rolling around in the fluro gell stuff. Toxic? Yes. Idiots. People are dancing on wheelie bins. Get me out of this nightmare!

Neil Young – Blue main stage

Carlsberg: One last sit down. I have never seen so many people sitting on the main stage grass. I am seriously going to fall asleep if I listen to a full song.

Gemdilem: I know he is a rock n roll legend but he is seriously the wrong choice for the Big Day Out. What were they thinking? FAIL. There is hardly anyone watching him. I feel sorry for him. All the kids are trying to push their way to the Boiler Room for The Prodigy.

Poleski: I have been in hiding for the last few hours… fearing sun down. The kids go crazy at sundown. The stadium emptied out the minute the monkey’s left the stage. People make mention of going to Prodigy. I laugh. Will people never learn? If you aren’t in the Boiler room by 7pm you ain’t seeing the headliner. Have fun sitting round for 2 hours, hugging the ground and feeling the music. P.S. later reports suggested Prodigy were nuts. 1996 lives on.

Carlsberg: Chips (aka best fiance ever) arrives at Sydney Olympic Park to drive us home.

Gemdilem: I love you Chips! No shity rail for us! Home time…

Overall

Carlsberg: Overall it was a very hot day, tattoos are definitely getting worse and people are getting dumber.

Gemdilem: It was a great day. Highlights had to be Eddy, Cut Copy, The Grates, and Black Kids. I am grateful that people have such bad tattoos to keep us amused all day. I think I might be getting too old for this.

Poleski: It was boiling. I’m moving back to the 2nd world where I can happily be pale. I fear for our future. What is happening to our youth? Despite all this it was yet another epic BDO. This thing is a machine. It’s the festival we will also have a brutally passionate love / hate relationship with… Can’t wait for 2010…

#reviews

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boozeymustdie · 7 years ago

Text

Feature Story: Frank Iero

OCTOBER 8, 2017 BY BECTON SIMPSON

Frank Iero and Bec

Frank Iero is a busy man.

So far this year, he’s been involved in a serious bus crash in Australia, toured with Taking Back Sunday, made an appearance at Slam Dunk festival, played with the all stellar line up of Thrice, Rise Against and the Deftones, and now he’s released a brand new EP, Keep The Coffins Coming, and has embarked on a month-long tour of the UK and Europe in what he describes as “the first headlining tour for Parachutes.”

After the accident down under that left him and a couple of his bandmates banged up in hospital, Frank Iero and the Patience were thrown off kilter for a while and plans were put on hold. So, despite the release of Parachutes in late 2016, this is actually the first time Frank has had the chance to tour it properly, as a headliner rather than a support act. It’s now ended up being a ‘double tour’ for both Parachutes and Keep The Coffins Coming.

“I like to multitask as much as possible,” laughs Frank. “Feels like it’s been almost a year in the making though, y’know?”

We’re sat in a darkened corridor backstage at the Academy in our makeshift ‘office’ with a couple of mismatched chairs we’ve managed to squander from the Student’s Union. It’s half an hour before the doors open, and as we chat, we’re also listening to the sounds of Frank’s excellent line up of support bands soundchecking a few rooms down – the Paceshifters, The Homeless Gospel Choir, and Dave Hause & The Mermaid.

Despite his own soundcheck going on fifteen minutes longer than expected, Frank seems relaxed and happy. His laid-back manner and cheeky sense of humour make him easy to interview, and the passion when he talks about his music and inspirations shines through. The fact that Frank has been to the UK no less than three times in the space of twelve months is no coincidence.

“I really do fucking love it here. I really do,” he says enthusiastically. “I feel like as a young person, I didn’t truly understand all the history of it. I got held up on the hardships of travel, and didn’t get to enjoy it as much…” And he has similar words to say about the touring lifestyle in general. “I’m incredibly thankful for all those opportunities to get to see all this. I mean, it’s unreal. That education is unlike anything else you can possibly get. You start to have this real worldly view. You realise that being a big fish in a little pond is worth nothing. There’s so much more out there. So many people out there, so many cultures out there, so many things to experience and to do and to see.”

Frank talks like an excited, wide-eyed boy, still in awe of the world around him, despite having been in a touring band since he was a teenager and now approaching 36 years old. Perhaps it is this consistently fresh outlook that always seems to keep him on the road. He still enjoys it, and very rarely takes time off.

“There’s something to be said about creating and getting to play, y’know? I’ve done that for so long, I don’t know what my life is like without it,” he readily admits, but he also insists that next year he is definitely having some time to himself and his family.

“I’m telling you, this is it,” he insists with a playful giggle after I express doubt over his ability to avoid the addictive lure of the road. “At the end of this year, I’m gonna take some time. I swear to God. I keep saying that, I do, but I actually made the phone call two days ago. I had stuff ready for next year, and I fucking canceled it.”

Then, adopting a more serious tone and speaking in a reflective murmur I can barely hear above the noise in the next room, he admits, “I think this year’s just been a little too much for me, and I think it’s put a lot of things in perspective. I think I need 2018 to be mine.”

It really is fair enough, considering everything Frank went through at the beginning of the year, and how busy he’s been since that, bouncing back doubly hard in a way that a lot of people couldn’t. Plus, he has a wife and three kids at home who are bound to miss him when he’s away, and finding the work/life balance is always tough.

“It’s like a tightrope, and I think that you spend a lot of time trying to make everyone happy and end up not succeeding so much. And then everyone’s miserable and so are you! I think you owe it to yourself to kinda take a step back and get your head straight and kind of figure out who you are without this, y’know?”

Then, never quite able to stay serious for too long, he adds with a little twinkle, “Plus, if you’re on the road, you’re probably not in certain cities, probably in Brazil, that people are going to be very upset about!”

It’s no secret that Frank’s fanbase is widespread and worldwide, and when he doesn’t tour those cities and countries, he gets frequently pestered about it on Twitter. His online relationship with his fans has been well documented in the rock press, and he definitely gives as good as he gets. Although recently, a lot of the Twitter hype in his fanbase has been surrounding the recent release of his brand new record, Keep The Coffins Coming, which has so far has been met with warm reception and favourable reviews.

Despite it being a ‘new’ release, the four tracks on the EP are not new songs and were in fact recorded before Parachutes. Frank has been sitting on this one for a long time, and he goes on to explain why it seemed like the right time to release these very special tracks.

“When I recorded this, it was really something I did just for me. I’d just finished touring on Stomachaches, and I had a conversation with Paul, my manager, and he said, ‘Alright, well what’s next? What do you wanna do?’ And I said, ‘I don’t really know. I have some songs, but I don’t know what the next thing is just yet.’ And he’s like, ‘What are things that you’ve always wanted to do that you’ve never gotten to do?’ So, we made a list – a bucket list – of people I wanted to work with, things I wanted to accomplish. And he was like, ‘Alright, let’s start checking them off,’ and one of those was to work with Steve Albini.”

Albini is something of a legend in the music industry, having produced records for Nirvana, the Pixies, and Jawbreaker to name a few, and Frank readily admits “he’s someone that made me want to create and make records” and that he’s wanted to work with him “since I was like, 11!”

Frank’s childhood dream finally came true when his manager placed a phone call, and before he knew it, he was in the studio. For Frank, it was a fulfilling and exciting experience, but also an eye-opening one on a personal level that ultimately led to him choosing Ross Robinson as the producer for Parachutes.

“Steve’ll tell you, ‘I’m not a producer. I’m an engineer, and I want to facilitate your vision.’ He’s very hands-off, and I think that’s because of experiences he’s had in his formative years of becoming an engineer and learning the recording process. He saw one of his favourite bands get kind of railroaded by a producer, and he said, ‘I’m never going to do that again. I just want to showcase bands’…and he’s booked constantly because of that, and also because he is such a genius and such a talented engineer and guy…he knows his shit. So, when we got in there, I didn’t know how much time we were going to have or what we were going to do. His process was very confidence-building in that he said to me, ‘The reason you’re here is because you know what you’re doing. I’m not gonna come in here and tell you how to play your songs.’ And that was amazing, but I still felt like I was…on my own in that realm, y’know? Which is cool…but I had done that with Stomachaches. I did it all by myself. I didn’t have anybody else to bounce ideas of off; it was very DIY. And yes, for this, Steve would be behind the board and micing things and getting the sounds that I wanted. But there wasn’t someone there who would really get to the core of what these songs were about and push me farther. It was all on me. And I knew that I needed to – these songs demanded that. And that’s why the record was done by Ross.”

As for the track choice on Keep The Coffins Coming, at least one of them will be familiar to casual Patience fans – “I’m A Mess” – which is featured in its final form on Parachutes and is given a different lease on life with this earlier and slightly rawer version.

And those who have been following Frank’s solo career from the beginning may also have an awareness of the other tracks on the album. “BFF,” for example, was originally released back in 2014.

“That was a song my daughter wrote that I did in my basement before even Stomachaches,” explains Frank. “And when I knew I was working with Steve, I handpicked that song because I knew I wanted to do a full band version of it…I thought that…just the tendencies of that song and the way I heard it in my head…what it could be…it was a perfect Steve Albini song.”

Then there’s “You Are My Sunshine,” a cover of an old classic, of course, and one which Frank used to whip out and play live on stage occasionally.

“No Fun Club” is an interesting one. It’s probably the noisiest and punkiest of the four tracks. It has gone on a musical journey of its own, reforming and taking shape into something else entirely, although the music is still roughly based on a joke song Frank released some years ago…

“It’s not the first thing I released but like…around the first couple of EPs and 7 inches I did on my own under my solo ‘career,’ I put up a song on Soundcloud called “Xmas Sux.” It was just kinda this thing that I threw together in an hour in my basement, and it was just an experiment to see if I could do these types of things. As soon as I put it up I was like, ‘I kinda really like this song, but it’s a joke.’ I didn’t really put too much thought into it, but I liked that I could take that and make it something important. It’s this idea that songs don’t die until you say they’re done with them. I can have that idea and mold it and grow it and evolve it years later, and form it into something that has some gravity – and actually has some meaning behind it and a purpose.”

Evolution is a key theme on this EP, and even for Frank in general, who is constantly changing the name of his band.

“It’s not just to confuse people,” he laughs. “It’s to keep me interested. Every record, the band name is gonna change. The original idea when I was formulating what Parachutes was gonna be, I was like, ‘Maybe I’ll do two records, a double record. One will be Patience and one will be Patients,’ but it didn’t make sense to split those songs up when it came to fruition. It just felt like a full record. So this time around, after the whole experience in Australia and stuff like that, it was just my own clever little way of being able to change the band name up again.”

I tell him I think it’s a cool idea to which he replies, without missing a beat, “I think it’s cool too,” before cracking up in a fit of giggles. But Frank’s not the kind of guy to use throwaway, unimportant titles for anything – either for his band names or his records. Wordplay and meaning are clearly important to him, so it goes without saying that Keep The Coffins Coming wasn’t just chosen simply to keep up his dark emo credentials. There’s a much deeper and more interesting message behind that choice of words.

“With Stomachaches, I could trace every song back to a feeling of illness. With Parachutes, every song was a story about feeling safe or an instance that allows you to kind of enjoy life or experience that fall. This…this is more like…these ideas, these songs, these creations that we have. We relinquish control of them, and we send them out into the world…almost like sending the bodies home from war…and if you can continue that process of creating and inspiring, creating and inspiring, and never letting these ideas fizzle out…just keep them coming and coming and coming. Then hopefully, even beyond our own mortal souls, these things will carry on.”

Inspiring words, indeed, Frank, and we certainly hope you’re right!

Keep The Coffins Coming is out now on Hassle Records, iTunes and all your usual music providers. You can still catch Frank Iero on tour if you’re in the UK until 21st October. You probably should try and do that – he’s pretty damn good. Check out frank-iero.com for dates.

Link to Article

#Frank Iero #frnkiero andthe patience #Frank Iero And The Patience #FIATP #FIATP UK/Europe Tour 2017 #Keep The Coffins Coming #Parachutes #10.8.17 #Stars and Scars #October #My Chemical Romance #MCR #Frank Iero Interview

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sadrien · 7 years ago

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wanna chat? pt.20

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

i'm not dead yet but i'm v close

eponine = alya enjolras = marinette grantaire = nino marius = adrien

enjoy

13:04

eponine: dont listen to marinette

enjolras: Ummm???? LIsten to Marinette

eponine: no fuck u

enjolras: :P

grantaire: ???????? what did you do

eponine: NOTHI N G

enjolras: She tried to chase Chat after the akuma attack and almost fell in the Seine

eponine: i did not

enjolras: She was 100% ready to swim

eponine: NO I WANS T

grantaire: oh is that where you went

eponine: f i g h t m e

grantaire: al youd do anything for another interview wiht one of them

eponine: >:( u arent wrong tho

grantaire: exactly i cant believe you almost went into the river

eponine: i hate you

14:16

enjolras: Has anyone heard from Adrien today??

grantaire: i talked to him thsi morning

enjolras: When was this morning

grantaire: uhhh like…. 2

enjolras: Sleep??? Is a thing??????????

grantaire: video games are also a thing

enjolras: I hate you

grantaire: </3

14:25

eponine: good afternoon i am gay

grantaire: youre bi

eponine: good afternoon i am bi do u have a moment 2 talk about our lord and savior ladybug

enjolras: Why are you like thsi

eponine: im running on like 5 cups of coffee

marius: lmao lame

eponine: what

grantaire: ?????

enjolras: Did alya steal adriens phone again

eponine: first of all rude second of all what

marius: who even is everyone on here??} what kind of nerd club is this

grantaire has changed their name to nino

nino: blame adrien he got all geeky on us

eponine has changed their name to ladybugfan2020

ladybugfan2020: hello im still bi

marius: what in fresh hell is going on here

enjolras has changed their name to mari

mari: Who are you??? And why do you have Adriens phone

marius: because he’s too trusting lol guess who’s thumbprint is in it and has access to everything

nino: i know my dude doesnt have anything weird on his phone that he wouldnt want people to see but still bro thats ominous

marius: ;*

ladybugfan2020: really tho who r u

marius: god i can’t believe you can’t figure it out who do you think adrien would trust not only with his phone but also enough to put their fingerprint in it?????

ladybugfan2020: nino mari probably not me but a girl can dream ladybug chat link

marius: i’m stopping you right there because fictional characters don’t count i’m honestly offended is there a block button on skype???

mari: Why do you have his phone Chloe?

marius: wow!!! one of you has a brain!!! a concept

nino: oh shit he had a big photoshoot today didnt he man i feel bad that i forgot

mari: He didnt want to talk about it much dont feel too bad

marius: no shame on you for forgetting clearly i’m the only one who cares about adrien here

ladybugfan2020 has removed marius from the group.

mari: Alya no

ladybugfan2020: alya yes?? i dont like her

mari: I mean same but Adrein wont know why hes been removed

nino: mars got a point

ladybugfan2020: ugh y do i like either of u

ladybugfan2020 has added marius to the group.

marius: fucking rude

ladybugfan2020: fight me

marius: maybe i will!!!!

nino: last time you did that al got akumatized lets ton e it down

marius left this group

ladybugfan2020 has added marius to this group.

marius: fuck you

ladybugfan2020: oh u wish

marius: i want out

mari: Then put down Adriens phone??

marius: i’m bored this photoshoot is boring you’re all JUST as boring though

marius has changed their name to chlo

chlo: a random reminder that i hate you all and am only talking to you because i’m desperate

nino: im honored

chlo: you should be

ladybugfan2020: new question y r u at the photoshoot

chlo: cause i was in part of it?? duh

mari: You model?

chlo: ok so clearly i need to talking up myself MORE i thought that was something people like you wanted me to stop doing make up your mind

mari: You cant tell but Im rolling m y eyes

chlo: of course i’m a model have you seen me

nino: unfortunately

chlo: fuck off

ladybugfan2020 has renamed this conversation to “chloe sux”

chlo: fucking this is why i’m not friends with any of you

mari: Lets be real you wouldnt be friends with us if we werent like this

chlo: probably true

nino: i dunno we were pretty close when we were 6?

chlo: oh god don’t remind me i’ve blocked that from my memory

nino: what? dont like remembering how we got married on the playground

chlo: get out of my life lahiffe

nino: are we getting a divorce??

mari: No you got divorced when we were 8

ladybugfan2020: i feel like im watching a soap opera wild did we all get married on the playground??? i got married to this girl in my class when i was 4 and she was my first kiss good times we had to break up tho cause she wanted to go on the slide when i wanted to use the monkey bars

mari: Aw tragic young love

chlo: not surprised

ladybugfan2020: k ive shared every1 else go share ur 1st kiss

mari: Kim in a game of truth or dare when I was eleven

nino: chloe at our wedding

chlo: lame also i don’t owe you anything cesaire

ladybugfan2020: i can just ask adrien later

chlo: fuck ok i kissed alix the day before nino and i got married alix kissed me i think it was a dare

nino: i cannot believe you cheated on me i want another divorce

chlo: yeah yeah

ladybugfan2020: whyd u 2 divorce anyway?

nino: chloe didnt invite me to her birthday

chlo: ummm????? i mean no i didn’t because it was a girls only sleepover but also i remember YOU had a crush on mari so

ladybugfan2020: just kno i am living

mari: YOu had a crush on me when we wer e 8???

nino: mari i hope you know everyone has had a crush on you

mari: ???????????????

ladybugfan2020: can confirm

chlo: ew they need me to do something i’ll steal adrien’s phone back later be less lame when i get back

nino: no promises

ladybugfan2020: lmao anyway now we just gotta find out who adriens 1st kiss was any1 kno?

mari: Nino would know

nino: i mean i do but thats for him to share im sure he will but ill let him do it

ladybugfan2020: nice now we just gotta remember to ask ive got it

ladybugfan2020 has renamed this conversation to “who was adrien agrestes first kiss??? find out more at 6”.

mari: Subtle

ladybufan2020: thanks

14:43

chlo: i lived bitch

nino: did chloe just meme

chlo: of course i did???? i mean come ON adrien agreste is my best friend what did you expect?

nino: nah dude hes my bes t friend

chlo: no he’s not

ladybugfan2020: rude™

mari: Were his best friends????

chlo: pff you’re more than just his friends

ladybugfan2020: ????

chlo: nothing anyway you people are boring god did you do nothing while i was gone?? how does he suffer being in your presence

nino: has anyone ever told you youre kinda rude and obnoxious

chlo: yeah you multiple times

nino: cool imma do it again

chlo: where’s the middle finger emoji

nino: :P

mari: I cant believe you came back

chlo: yeah neither can i guess you’re less boring and annoying than doing nothing

PM between chlo and ladybugfan2020

ladybugfan2020: can i ask y u hate mari

chlo: i don’t hate her

ladybufan2020: …

chlo: it’s a long story

ladybugfan2020: well shes my best friend and ur kind of a dick to her

chlo: yeah well i’m not a nice person

ladybugfan2020: have u ever considered trying to b a nicer person

chlo: fuck off adrien agreste is my best friend what the hell do you think

ladybugfan2020: try harder

in who was adrien agrestes first kiss??? find out more at 6

mari: Has Adrien seriously been working this whole time???

chlo: not constantly but he hasn’t had much downtime when he’s not getting pictures taken of him they’re having him do other stuff probably cause he’s the boss’ kid but i don’t know i just pose and look pretty

nino: use no brain power like usual

chlo: haha very funny

ladybug2020: do u think hes gonna read through all these messages???

mari: Depends on if hes tired or not

ladybug2020: mk hey sunshine if ur reading this ilysm thats all

chlo: ugh they need me

mari: I mean you are like Working

chlo: whatever we’re almost done so adrien will probably be on next bye losers

nino: bye ex wife

15:07

chlo: Ok I see that something happened Oh my username has changed Well ok that explains almost everything

chlo has changed their nickname to adrien

adrien: I had to turn autocaps back on

nino: dude thats lame

adrien: I’m a lame person Also to answer the chat name’s question Nino

ladybugfan2020: ???????? what??????????? when did this happen??????

adrien: A few months ago?

nino: sounds about right

adrien: I had to do a photoshoot that was going to involve kissing a girl and I didn’t want my first kiss to be work related I was talking about it to Nino and he was like “the answer is to have your first kiss before the photoshoot”

mari: And so the next logical step was to kiss NIno

adrien: …yeah sort of

nino: fun fact adrien is a great kisser @alya cause mari already knows

mari: Please stop talking to me oh my god

ladybugfan2020: i feel like im missing out how do i get adrien agreste to kiss me how did u do it mari? it was an accident right??? just like…fall asleep on his face?

mari: I’m leaving goodbye I hate you all

ladybugfan2020: </3

#adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #chloe bourgeois #my fics #wanna chat

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callmeblake · 7 years ago

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Listen to Frank Iero’s “No Fun Club,” off the upcoming EP ‘Keep The Coffins Coming’

September 21 2017, 10:55 AM EDT By Cassie Whitt

Before the inception of Frank Iero And The Patience (née Frnkiero Andthe Cellabration); before, even, the end of My Chemical Romance, Frank Ierouploaded a one-minute-20-second noisy punk song called "Xmas Sux" to SoundCloud in mid-December 2012. The song ripped so hard that it was a damn shame it was made in jest. (Key lines include: "I don't give a fuck about Santa/I don't give a shit about cheer.")

"I did this thing as kind of a joke, and all of the sudden, I was like, 'Dammit! I really like that song. I want to do something with it for real,'" says Iero.

Thus was born “No Fun Club,” a more serious observance of anti-cheer that's getting its due nearly five years after its original incarnation.

Listen to it now:

youtube

Here, Iero discusses the song, his new EP Keep The Coffins Coming and exactly what it takes to be accepted into the club.

So, what the fuck is with the band name? Is it going to change again?

[Laughs.] Yes. The band name will change every time. Every time the band changes. I think that’s awesome. Why stop now? To me, it’s not confusing. I guess other people find it to be confusing, but to them, I say, “Don’t be silly.” It will always have my name in front if it is a solo project. It’s a way to keep me interested, because I have such a short attention span on things. I enjoy that honeymoon period where you start something new and you name it and cultivate it and figure out what it’s going to sound like. I really enjoy that. That old “What’s in a name?” idiom—-- Fuck that, man! Everything. Everything’s in a name. I enjoy it way too much to stop now. As far as this EP, to save on any kind of confusion with the digital age, it is rendered the Patience, but if you pay attention to the artwork, it has the name “Patients.” I was like, “That’s clever as fuck.” [Laughs.]

“No Fun Club,” the concept, is something that has predated the song a fair bit. Can you tell me the origin story?

I guess I started to think about how I felt about everything. [Laughs.] I think I was born in the No Fun Club. I put a name on it maybe two years ago. I think it started on the road, definitely, probably driving in a sprinter van somewhere and realizing that not only was I unhappy, but that everyone around me was too, so we could kind of find solace in each others’ misery. [Laughs.] Really, what it is is about just not having the energy to fucking impress anybody or even the want or need to be a part of that game, and realizing you don’t have anything to fucking prove, basically, and you’re not going to go out and fuckin’ pretend to be something you’re not and put on a fake smile that makes you even more sick to your stomach.

Is that the requirement to be in the club? If you had to put a list of requirements on the clubhouse, what would they be?

Oh, geez. Requirements for No Fun Club: “Don’t be a faker” is the first. No faking and no rules.

You got to record with Steve Albini for the new EP, which I know you were really stoked on.

Oh, hell yeah! When I got the call that he was free and wanted to work with us, I was like, [Raises voice a few octaves] “Fuuuuck!” It was a dream come true. I’ve been thinking about that working history for as long as I can remember. I think the first thing was picking up a guitar, then writing a song, then, “I gotta record with Steve Albini.” It was in that succession. It’s been a long time in the making.

Do you have any studio experiences that made it particularly special for you?

Here’s the thing: You’re immersed in it. You stay in the studio; and I think, for me, the best thing about it was that it was really a confidence-builder, because he wasn’t like this quintessential producer. He’ll even tell you, “I’m not a producer.” He didn’t come in like, “Fuckin’ change this! Play through this amp!” or anything like that. He was like, “This is your stuff. The reason you’re here and the reason you’re doing what you’re doing is that you know what you’re doing. And it’s really good. So, why would I come in and change anything? I want to listen to you and make the record that you want to make. I want to record the songs that you wrote the way you wrote them and the way you want to hear them back. That’s what I want to do for you.” It was such an amazing experience to go in there and to be in charge. He’s such a fantastic facilitator, just a genius when it comes to things. You mention a sound or a vibe, and he immediately gets to working and just knows what to do to give you that. That’s imperative in the studio: Not having to wait around for somebody to fumble through things. When you have somebody who is a master of their craft, I feel like that shows in their recordings.

Regarding your work as a lyricist: In a time when it’s less likely someone will pick up a CD and read lyrics in its booklet, you make sure to showcase your lyrics. You have a whole section for it on your website, and you tweeted out the words to “No Fun Club” a while ago. Why is it important for you to showcase your words in such a way?

When I was young and coming up listening to bands, I didn’t put as much emphasis on the lyrics of songs. I always felt like, “Well, if it’s a great song, it doesn’t matter what’s being said.” I think that just comes from an adolescent mentality, not really caring that much, just kind of throwing it together. I look to some of my favorite bands that would be like, “Ah, it doesn’t matter. It’s a joke I just kind of threw together. The music is the most important thing.” And I do agree that music is at the forefront, but at the same time, I don’t think I can ever love a song that I don’t connect to lyrically. Now, as an adult, writing, it’s very important to me that my sentiment is coming across the way I need it to come across and that the things I’m saying are clear and concise. I’m saying what I mean and I mean what I say. Throughout my career, I’ve been really fortunate to work with some really accomplished musicians and accomplished writers and people who really want to hone their craft and say important things, whether through guitars or other instruments or through their vocals and their lyrics. I’ve always found that to be so admirable. When it came time for me to take the mic, I wanted it to feel the same way. I wanted to feel like I was really speaking in a way that would affect people, as opposed to just being frivolous and not really caring.

Speaking of words: your EP Keep The Coffins Coming shares the title of the Julius Long book. Was it inspired by it?

I feel like a lot of times art imitates life, and at the same time, you draw inspiration from things that kind of just pass by you. It’s like driving down a highway and you see something out of the corner of your eye, and you’re like, “Whoa! What was that?” And you file it away. I think that happens a lot in Julius Long’s book. I came across the book… I loved the title, and although the EP doesn’t have anything to do with the pages in between that book, even though things are happening in the world right now are so intertwined with the things that go on in that books, the title for me meant something else. I wrote that down years ago, and threw it away for future reference.

When I started to think about the songs that were on the EP and where the EP came from, about how these compositions are a lot like these soldiers you kind of send out and kill off. You have to kind of bury them in order to relinquish control and release them into the world. The last step of any art project is the release, you know? I didn’t think that earlier on. I just thought that when you’re done with something, that’s the end of it. But it’s so much more than that. It’s relinquishing control and giving it to the masses and seeing what comes back in forms of inspiration and, hopefully, continued creativity. So, I thought about that, right? And I thought about these songs as these memories—these dead and gone creations, right? And I thought, “I love that title so much, maybe I should do a play on that?” Really, what I was saying was how you relinquish control of something, you let it out, and how hopefully something comes back. And I thought, “Well, maybe I shouldn’t fuck with the title at all. I should just keep it as-is, because I was inspired by it.” That’s how it came about. It’s this cycle of killing off your ideas, giving them away, and having them come back in this crazy cycle.

It’s sort of like—to get mystical with it—in the cycle of magic, you’re supposed to destroy the intent; and if something is going to come of it, it will come after that.

See? Man. It takes a witch to know a witch.

Frank Iero's Keep The Coffins Coming EP will be released Sept. 22 on all digital retailers; you can pre-order it right here.

#frank iero #frank iero and the patience #keep the coffins coming #interview #september 2017 #2017 #alternative press #frank iero and the patients

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years ago

Text

Andy on Asian Animation or SYAC: The Master Review 2

Let’s talk a bit about anime and Dobson’s work relation with it.

I think we can all agree, that starting from the late 90s and early 2000s on, anime and manga became extremely popular in the western world. Sure, Japanese animation was nothing completely new to us (Speed Racer, Nadia-Secret of Blue Water, Samurai Pizza Cats, Sailor Moon, Kimba and Akira e.g. come to my mind as properties already known in the west before 1995) but it really was around this time that thanks to “mainstream” stuff like Dragon Ball and Pokemon people became aware of how different Japanese animation was from western. Eventually resulting in the really good shit (like Cowboy Bebop, Black Lagoon, Kenshin and Heat Guy J) coming over and enriching nerd culture for more than just a few people who knew of it as an obscurity at that point. Now, if you know anything about Dobson, you likely know that his relationship with anime is rather… complicated to say the least. Or, to let him explain it with his own words…

Dobson essentially likes silly and wacky 90s anime. But later on he hated anime in general, because it got too popular and a bad experience with an anime club in college soured his enjoyment of it. Furthermore, he put the blame on his lackluster art style and storytelling capabilities as seen in the likes of Formera, Patty and Alex ze Pirate, on anime in general, while also claiming that Disney pulling the plug on 2D animation is the result of the “anime inspired” Treasure Planet, meaning anime in a sense deprived him of his chance at working at his dream job and “ruining” western animation.

Which to me has always been ignorant as fuck. For starters, I can understand not liking certain stories or genres, either for objective or subjective reasons. But to hate on an entire nation’s form of entertainment (not just individual shows or genres), depriving yourself of the chance of potentially watching a lot of good stuff while also being rather insulting to these other works and people enjoying them? Especially when the stuff you can supposedly “stomach” has been rather simplistic compared to other things?

Second, blaming Japan for “poisoning” your art style? What, did the ghost of Osamu Tezuka possess you and FORCE you to put sweatdrops on your characters forehead while also going for the rather simplistic character style of Rumiko Takahashi, as well as emulating the slapstick of the likes as Slayers and Ranma ½?

Next, if he had emulated them successfully, I say he would have actually managed to tell decent enough stories worth to read online. Not create Uncle Peggy aka “Discount Happosai” or the bland proto-Isekai known as Formera.

I mean, let’s give some context here: There have been people who successfully managed to emulate certain anime and manga aesthetics into western animation and make it work. Otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten the likes of Avatar-The last Airbender, Samurai Jack, the Animatrix, Thundercats 2011, Super Robot Monkey Hyperforce Go, Kim Possible, W.I.T.C.H, Megas XLR and Wakfu. You know, shows that are actually awesome as hell.

Heck, Dobson’s favorite animated show of the last decade, Steven Universe, is heavily inspired by anime aesthetics to the point of being embarrassing.

But Dobson… well, he emulated anime aesthetics in his work the same way as these crimes against animation did.

Combined with his general shortcomings as a storyteller it is no wonder his initial comics did not do well.

Lastly, and sorry for digressing here a bit, but if the Wikipedia entry on Treasure Planet is something to go by, there was no real inspiration by anime involved in making this movie.

Supposedly the idea of making an animated Treasure Planet in outer space movie was already pitched by Ron Clements WAY BACK in 1985 but only came to be after Michael Eisner greenlighted stuff in the late 90s. Design wise the movie was supposed to look 70% traditional and 30% sci-fi inspired and people took inspiration for the art style by illustrators associated with the Brandywine School of Illustration. A western style of illustration established in the 19th century, that had a big impact on the illustration styles for many 19th and early 20th century adventure novels and short stories.

What, is anime supposed to be the only form of animation allowed to have sci fi elements or steampunk in it? Fucks sake, The Lion King and Atlantis, which came out one year earlier to Treasure Planet, were likely more inspired by anime. Don’t believe me? Watch Atlantis and then a certain anime by Studio Gainax called “Nadia-Secret of Blue Water”. Or read up on the controversy surrounding the two.

The truth is, it is not entirely clear what caused Disney to shut down 2D feature film animation in the early 2000s. In fact, if anything, most people put the blame on Michael Eisner and a certain change in the publics taste in movies in general, combined with Disney trying to turn almost every movie they had into a franchise via cheap follow up movies on video and DVD.

And even if Disney did not shut down, are we really supposed to believe that a certain guy with fedora would have made it big at Disney to the point Alex ze Pirate would have been made into a feature film?

But Dobson could never quite understand this and instead of “reinventing” himself properly, he would rant about anime and its fans in one form or another…

And on the peak of his hissy fit create this little art piece he baptized Anime Sux. Alternatively “West vs East”. Or as I like to call it, slap a jap.

Now, the pic was done in 2008 and Dobson claimed sometimes in the last decade, that he no longer holds his old opinions. Unfortunately, by that point he would also more or less use the chance to vent in his webcomic about anime (or rather its fans), which brings us finally back to SYAC.

While Dobson never outright thematized in more detail WHY he hates anime and manga in SYAC (likely cause if his comic reasoning was even slightly like his reasoning in his blogs, people would have torn him apart like a bag of paper) he did use the format to punch down on anime fans and their preferences.

For example, for someone who has a 4chan story going around of having been rather arrogant towards others in college for not liking Ranma ½, Dobson has THIS little college related comic to show off, where he portrays an aspiring manga artist as a delusional jackass.

Then in this strip titled manga, his manga fan is essentially portrayed as a young woman dressing up like a very stereotypical high school anime girl, who is in the wrong for even just DARING to draw her comics in the direction manga are read.

On one hand, I get Dobson’s point. She could be at risk of alienating a market of readers as she is obviously drawing for a western audience. Then again, if she doesn’t draw a traditional western comic but a manga, why shouldn’t she? I mean, as long as she enjoys it, which I assume she does as she seems genuinely just happy when stating that she likes manga, why not let her? Plus, this comic was drawn in the late 2000s. I think by then most people kinda knew how to read from right to left, so Dobson’s claim she would alienate or confuse people is kinda redundant. If anything I find a) Dobson getting angry at her just very petty (just let her have fun) and b) portraying a western manga fan as someone who would be confused by the sheer idea of reading stuff from right to left is also in itself just really dumb and insulting. What is Dobson trying to imply? That anime fans are so stuck in the way they consume certain media, they can’t act according to “western standards” again?

Then there is this strip where yet another female anime fan is essentially portrayed as the embodiment of how “ignorant” manga fans are of the idea of different art styles...

Which becomes rather laughable once Dobson describes his style as a mixture of European, American and Japanese. Why? Because he is the one oversimplifying things, rather than the anime fan.

You see while anime and manga of all sorts do share certain aesthetics (like the black and white art style, emphasize on the eyes of characters, the way hair is drawn, recurring tropes within certain genres and so on) style wise (both in art and storytelling) there can be severe differences, depending on the artist alone. Akira Toriyama’s style differentiates significantly from the likes of Eichiro Oda, Rumiko Takahashi, Kentaro Miura, Tezuka, Kaori Yuki and so forth.

The same also goes for many western artists. Herge had a significantly different style from Uderzo and Goscinny. Don Rosa has a different style in which he drew Scrooge McDuck than Carl Barks did. Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee draw mainstream superheroes differently compared to how Jack Kirby, George Perez and others did. Heck, Ethan Van Sciver and Jim Lee were closely associated with Green Lantern in the 2000s and look how they differentiate.

Which btw is the kind of skill level Dobson would have needed to have, to make it in the mainstream industry

So when Dobson says “I draw in a combination of American, Western and Japanese” all I can think is the following: THAT DOESN’T NARROW IT DOWN! WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU LEARNT IN COLLEGE ABOUT COMICS? WHICH ARTISTS, WORKS AND STORYTELLERS DO YOU TRY TO EITHER EMULATE OR HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY?

Then there is this little thing…

Where do I even begin? How about the fact that Dobson’s hand in the last panel looks like he has lost a thumb? The fact that the little boy, anime fan or not, is aware of Sae Sawanoguchi, a character from a short lived OVA and anime series from the 90s, which considering his age, I kinda doubt he would be aware off. Unlike Dobson, who got into anime in the 90s and admits in fact within the posts I loaded up earlier, that he had watched the anime in particular, known in the west as Magic User Club.

Then there is the implication by Dobson, that anime is so “corruptive” as a medium, little kids don’t even know the most basic characters in western animation because of it. I expect in a next panel, that all of sudden some 50s PSA guy comes along and lectures me that if I want this kind of thing not to happen at MY convention, I need to teach little kids more about the GOOD western animation, instead of the BAD eastern one. Then there is this rather unflattering portrayal of a shonen ai/shojou ai fangirl…

Which makes me laugh cause honestly, even some of the worst shonen ai and shojou ai can do better in portraying a “realistic” gay relationship than Patty if you ask me.

Also, as much as I think fangirls can be extremely thirsty (I have read my fair share of extremely stupid yaoi and yuri fanfics) I think that in hindsight Dobson is really not anyone to complain about shipping obsession and sex when he himself has KorraSami, the Ladybug fandom and a certain rat pirate under his floppy belt.

As you can imagine, Dobson would get heat for those comics, considering how he himself has been greatly inspired by anime and manga for his major comics. And while I don’t have any explicit deviantart posts of him reacting to criticism in that regard, I do have this comic which addresses it directly.

And yeah, if I were schoolgirl number 4, I would just sigh and walk away after telling Dobson that his mistakes and shortcomings are not related to having consumed anime, but rather by what sort of anime (and other stories) he had consumed and the amount of effort he had put in creating his stories instead of emulating just something more popular. Plus, if you really want people to draw more from life, how about drawing more from life yourself down the line? And no, tracing Star Wars movie frames does not count.

Finally, Dobson, considering how very little most people think of your work, I say mission accomplished: People have learnt from your mistakes and know not to be a Dobson.

And at last, there is this comic, which kinda wraps up Dobson’s “vendetta” with anime and manga fans within the pages of SYAC.

By trying to mock anime fans and make them look just as shallow as he is. I at least suppose. Honestly, the message of this comic is rather muddled. On one hand, I would say the strawman accusing Dobson hates anime just because it is popular is very simplified. After all, Dobson has made his reasons for not liking anime clear in a few more details. It’s just that the details in and on themselves in real life are still rather shallow and boil down to a lot of personal bias rather than an objective criticism of actual flaws. Which I think is worth pointing out.

But frankly, what is Dobson trying to say or point out here? That the strawman is not so different or even dumber than him, because he hates Justin Bieber for “shallow” and superficial reasons too?

Okay, this doesn’t quite work as well as Dobson wants. First, the argument Dobson’s strawman makes is in huge parts based on some verified statements Dobson made for not liking anime. Second, he just says a name and that triggers the guy to express his hatred for Bieber. We don’t know why the guy hates Bieber and you could make in fact the case, that he hates him not because he is popular, but because he has a genuine issue with the artist, his work or his behavior as a human being. Third, if you want to make yourself look like the better person Dobson, try to argue with the guy and make solid arguments why you don’t like anime. Instead you just deflect the criticism by changing the subject and then try to make yourself look like the “smarter” person in the room by mocking your critic in the most condescending manner.

Which as I think about it, sounds like your modus operandi on twitter and tumblr.

Weirdly enough, that more or less marks the “end” of Dobson tackling anime fans and the beef he has with them within the pages of SYAC. Despite how much Dobson’s negative reputation especially in early years was build around him hating on anime and belittling its fans, he didn’t really do more afterwards in the Dobson focused pages of SYAC. And mind you, those strips were also separated by other strips in-between, focused on Dobson just being at conventions.

Unfortunately for him, the strips didn’t really help in any way to diminish that negative reputation and instead just confirmed for many, that Dobson can’t handle criticism about his flawed opinion on anime. If anything, it just made people think even less of Dobson, as the strips just painted him as someone who would rather portray his critics as strawman he can be “rightfully” annoyed at, instead of fellow humans with slightly different tastes in entertainment, who are still worth listening to.

So, now that we have the anime fan related “annoyances” out of the way, what other sort of silly problems in making webcomics would Dobson cover in his strips and are “relatable” to everyone?

Lets see some of these examples in the next part.

#anime / manga #manga #Andrew Dobson #fuck you Tom Preston #Tom Preston #syac #so...you are a cartoonist #so you are a cartoonist #review #webcomic #comic #adobsonsartwork #adobsoncomic #adobsonartworks

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vivaindiffrnce · 8 years ago

Text

in honour of graduating in less than two weeks i wanna make a basic summary of the shit i pulled off in high school

drank vodka straight from a mug in latin class without the teacher noticing and when she asked me to do some task i nailed it by saying “scio me nihil scire”

got pizza for money collected from class with my friends. multiple times.

had an energy drink every single day of senior year. each one.

asked my history teacher if i could leave to get coffee (a coffee machine is right outside our history classroom) and left to starbucks.

skipped class to make blingees

when secretary approached me to tell me that tattoos are against school regulations i pulled my sleeves down and said “what tattoos”

got a principal’s reprimand for leaving school grounds (it’s important for the story i’ll write later on)

right after harambe happened i started a Harambe Movement at my school which was basically just putting harambe pictures and memes around school

one of the memes was making fun of our principal for giving reprimands to adult students leaving school grounds and i won’t be exaggerating if i say that every high schooler in my town knows this meme.

the funniest thing- i was threatened with principal’s reprimand for sharing a meme making fun of our principal for giving reprimands for stupid reasons. the fanpage is annonymous tho so i didn’t have any consequences.

after time harambe movement somehow turned into a Communist Student Party, now everyone knows that people who put memes around school are angry communists who fight for students liberation.

i have a habit of drawing in maths and once in test i drew a hundred chairs just to picture it better. got additional points for drawing skills and patience for drawing a hundred identical chairs.

every single project i had i made sure there was one slightly disturbing thing on my pendrive (”blood kink fanfics”, “michael jackson & booze”) and watched my classmates look at it in terror

had a detailed plan to vaporize booze on my prom (which failed only because i got a tattoo appointment for my best friend 7 hours before prom and didn’t have time to get everything done)

did my friend’s full face make up in history class. when my teacher asked what i was doing i just said “makeup”

forced my biology teacher to tell us about zombie ants and spent entire hour asking questions about that topic. (honestly research that, metal as fuck)

got very stoned before my social studies test and it was the only time when i got a good grade. my teacher wanted to become a philosopher as a child.

when it snowed my friend and i wrote “bio-chem sux” in snow on our school’s court, each letter was like 3 meters tall. we are bio-chem class.

when in additional bio class (starting at 7:20) our teacher asked me to explain photosynthesis i just answered with “i don’t know, the only thing that matters is that it works, why do we even have to look into that” while drinking coffee

learnt definition of personal space by heart and said it to everyone who tried to hug me on “national hugs day” because our school hosted some kind of fucked competition on number of hugs.

went to a gay bar with physics teacher on a school trip

threw a birthday party for my friend in school basement, with champagne, birthday cake and candles

brought cards against humanity to each english class for two weeks straight. after that we gave our teacher a cake as an apology for not paying attention to her subject, she was so happy she let us play CAH for one more class and while she was listening to pink floyd

went to church with class because we were all supposed to go and complained about “shitty karaoke equipment” for the whole mass

i still have a few days left and i’m thinking about making my “vaporize vodka” plan real.

#text post #i probably forgot 3/4 of good stuff that happened #most of that is just this year tho lmao #misadventures of charlie #alcohol tw #drugs tw #in snow** obviously whanvansjsjwj

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metzili · 8 years ago

Text

Things that Have Happened To Me at School: January-March

Boy: I’ve lost all faith for the human race. Do you know how many things people have managed to get stuck in their rectum?

Teacher: you need to stay away from the internet

Boy: the internet needs to stay away from me. It depends on who gets the restraining order first

...................

(My teacher plays music while he teaches)

Teacher: *stops* oh yeah, this is a good one.

Boy: what is it?

Teacher: what? Have you guys never listened to Spoon?

Girl: oh yeah. I love Spoon. I also love when they did that song with Fork

Girl 2: and that Spork fanfiction? Omg that was great

...................

Music: starts playing Ke$ha

(The only music my teacher plays is classic rock)

Everyone: *gets quiet*

Teacher: the fuck is this shit

Class: OHHHHHHH

...................

“Hey, listen to this song about grilled cheese”

...................

(In band class)

Boy: *playing around*

Girl: Adam, stop acting like your chair placement!

Everyone: oooohhhh

Boy 2: low blow, man

Boy:*slowly melts to the floor*

Me, who rejoined band a week ago and took his chair placement:

...................

Teacher: I have to warn you that at the end of Act II of Macbeth-

Girl: SATAN SHOWS UP

Teacher:...you’ll have to read the last scene by yourselves

................

My Latin giving a lesbian dating advice. He told her to not even bother with the girl she liked if she won’t even text back because that’s just rude

..............

Teacher: okay so who can give me an example of a paradox?

Girl: Spaghetti is a noodle and a noodle is spaghetti?

Teacher:..no

....................

Girl- oW HE HIT ME Teacher- I don’t blame him you’re more annoying than my nephew

.....................

Teacher: apparently it’s bad luck to say Macbeth before a theatre performance

Girl: wait how is it bad luck

Teacher: it’s like...how it’s bad to say Voldemort

Class: ohhhhh

Boy: see, if you want us to understand, just talk in harry potter references

Teacher: noted

Girl: okay but why is it bad luck

Teacher: weird stuff happens if you say it, like one time someone traded the prop knife for a real one and an actor accidentally killed someone on stage

Girl 2: what I want to know is if that person was charged with murder

Boy: yeah because it was accidentally

Girl 2: I’m gonna look it up

Teacher: you can’t find murder charges from hundreds of years ago in a different country.

Girl 2: I can if I hack into the British government’s FBI

Teacher: what

Girl 2: what

...................

“So, how’ve you been? Been bothered by any fuckboys lately?”

...................

Teacher: why are you looking up where I’ve lived before

Girl: Just because

Teacher: but how

Girl: okay so in tech class we found this code thingie that literally told you everything about someone so we looked up our teacher and found out everything like we even found out where he was holding his wedding in a month

Teacher: great. I’m teaching a class full of hackers

...................

“I get to write short essay introductions because I’m a short girl”

...................

My math teacher wrote the number 8 really weirdly and everyone noticed and this one girl, Riley, made fun of it so my teacher changed the 8 into an R and proceeded to write “Riley sux” on the board for revenge

...................

Teacher: Justin stop acting like a lazy piece of crap

Girl: You can’t say that!

Teacher- I can say it because I’m a lazy piece of crap

...................

Boy- I betted on the Patriots winning and I got $5 from my coach

Teacher-Betting is illegal

Boy-

Teacher-

Boy-

Teacher-

Boy- *runs out of room*

Teacher- YOU’RE GOING TO JAIL

...................

“Boy shut your turtle-looking Michelangelo face up”

“Excuse you I’m Donatello”

...................

Teacher: I mean, who wakes up in the morning wanting to do evil to other people

Boy: Donald Trump

(This was Inauguration Day)

...................

Teacher: *singing* My name is Riley and I’m a loserrr

Riley: True

Teacher : And I have no frieeends

Riley: tHAT’S NOT TRUE

Teacher: I DIDN’T MEAN IT

Riley: YES YOU DID

Teacher: You got me there

...................

Teacher: So why is Macbeth angry about *sees a girl taking pictures* Zipporah taking sELFIES UNDER THE DESK

Zipporah: he’s just jealous of this nude lip gloss

...................

Teacher: Mussolini spoke of reviving Roman greatness-now where have I heard that before? Sounds kind of like “Make Italy great again”

...................

“Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?”

“Fo’ drizzle”

...................

Teacher: We’re going to be outside this period so let me put on my jacket so I can look like a full on pimp

...................

We were doing IRL geometry questions outside and the last question was if the tree in the parking fell, which administration's cars would be screwed. (Yes, that was how it was written) When we were done, our teacher said to just screw it, we’re going to walk straight through the office instead of going around the school to look like gangsters. He also said to wink if we saw any administration and say that we figured out how to destroy their cars.

...................

Teacher: *reading an email* important weather information is being sent to you

Girl: can we leave

Teacher: it’s just a thunderstorm warning

Girl 2: SEVERE thunderstorm and tornado warning

Teacher: why do you care so much? I thought all you kids wanted to die

Girl: yeah but I want to die in the my aesthetic house not this dump

Teacher: you don’t want the firefighters looking for your body saying “ew can you believe this girl died in this place it’s total trash”

Girl: yes

...................

Girl: *clearly distressed* DID YOU KNOW CRAYOLA GOT RID OF DANDELION YELLOW

Boy: *also distressed* I KNOW

Girl: It was the best yellow! W H Y

Teacher: wtf

Girl: I mean why did they add another blue they already have like six of them

Teacher: I’m sure if you find the volume of this metaphorical 100 meter crayon Crayola will re-instate dandelion yellow

...................

Girl: can you please check your email for the weather email

Teacher: there’s nothing there because no one cares whether you live or die

#i can't make this shit up #most of this if from the same teacher #i love geometry class #high school

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esselley · 8 years ago

Note

Have you ever received a hate comment? If yes, and you don't mind me asking, what was it about? I wonder how other writers cope with negative comments.

I’ve never received a hateful comment on my work directly – knowing how the internet is, I count myself pretty fortunate in that regard (knock on wood).

The most negative experience I’ve had was during my time spent writing for a budding, tiny fandom, during which I started out writing one pairing, but then wrote some stories for a couple other pairings (kinda rarepairs) later on.

After I wrote a couple of those fics, a friend found one of those confessional blogs… Fandom Secrets or whatever, and the tag for our fandom had just been spammed with “confessions” about my writing. It was like a guilt/intimidation train, with me in the headlights. How I’d abandoned the fandom, how my new fics weren’t any good, how I should get back to writing the original pairing because no one cared about the new stuff… so I wrote my pièce de résistance for that main pairing, posted pics of each “confession” on my blog and roasted them for not having the guts to say their shit to my face, and then left the fandom entirely. Shady, manipulative assholes make me lose my chill real fast.

That being said, hate comments can go right in the garbage for myself and anyone else who receives them, because in a majority of cases, nothing usually warrants the hate – there are just worthless people out there who want to make other people feel worthless, too, and it’s a fucking waste of everyone’s time.

Popular or unknown, writer or artist, small or big fandom, having people deposit hateful words on something you created for nothing but your own happiness, because you love it, is flat out shit. You are the person making something of your own creation. They are the person who got mad enough over some OOC-ness (or whatever) to type “this sux go die” on someone’s efforts to create and improve. Again: FUCK THAT NOISE! Those people are losers and probably smell like sweaty socks 24/7. Put them out of your sparkly, inventive mind.

I also want to distinguish between the different types of “non-positive” comment, because there’s a big difference between hateful and negative. I thought about this, and think maybe I would separate it into 4 categories:

Con-Crit (commentary meant to educate and encourage improvement)

Criticism (commentary discussing positives and negatives in a work)

Negative (commentary that focuses mainly on flaws/things the reader disliked; usually more personal than analytical)

Hate (unconstructive bashing)

Con-crit is usually the most acceptable option, with hate being the least (like, just don’t! do it!) but I want to say off the bat that unless a fanfic writer has asked for con-crit/criticism, or discussion about what readers didn’t like – IMO, none of the negative types above are necessary to leave on a work. This doesn’t apply to published work, because those are authors with publicists, editors, and most of all, experience in putting their work out under the public eye. They also get paid to do so.

Fic writers and fan artists have no one checking their work but themselves, and are uncompensated save for (sometimes) getting positive feedback. A lot of us have no experience in publishing or exhibiting professionally. So unless someone is looking for critique, it is okay to just… skip telling someone that you thought they could be better. Chances are, they’re already worried about it. They most likely know that – and they’re trying to get better already. People aren’t submitting their work to Tumblr or AO3 or DeviantArt to be critiqued, they’re just posting to contribute to a fandom, to make friends, because they see other people doing so. Because it’s community, and it’s fun.

If you really feel like you want to let a writer or artist know about something, don’t just drop the comment and leave – ask if they would mind talking about their work and some points of improvement, so they aren’t blindsided. Message them somewhere private, instead of posting about their shortcomings in a public comment/reply. Especially for newer/less well known writers or artists. It takes some people a lot of courage to post something publicly. The need to create and share can help overcome those anxieties somewhat. But seeing a notification or comment pop up when you don’t receive a whole lot of feedback, only to find out it’s someone telling you “Hey, here are some things I think you need to work on,” can be really discouraging.

And some of the fics people like to point and laugh at, or leave mean comments on because of things that do not hurt or inconvenience the reader in any way (other then maybe having to hit the back button) are the exact kind of fics I proudly posted on FF.net when I was 10 or 11. If someone had slammed me with a bunch of hate back then, maybe it would have tanked my confidence enough to cause me to stop writing – for a short period of time, or to this day.

Who the hell knows? Who knows what other nameless fic writers out there could have improved, but didn’t, because of some stupid anon telling them their very first fic sucked?

So if someone is enough of a fuckface to try that shit with you, my friends, you’ve got two roads: delete the comment, or slice and dice their sorry ass into next week – I support you in both efforts (just know that the first option is usually better, unless you like to FIGHT, in which case, go for the second). But just know that, while there is no real way to avoid those kinds of comments getting under your skin, you are better than the one who left it.

You don’t owe them the dignity of a response, but you do keep writing, because while they are using their keyboard to shout into the void, you are using yours to further your creativity and art, and that will not be lost.

#writing advice #i think #writing advice: community #rambling discussion about polite commenting/critiquing under the cut #literaryalexis #esselle replies #negativity

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patrickbaeddman · 8 years ago

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btw this wall of text is funny and has jokes so dont be afraid to read it in full♥( like i never read theory posts i just skim cuz they’re usually really boring)

im genuinely asking all you girls lol. i think that theory and stuff is fun but its got a lotta girls caught up in it to where they think all issues are equal. because in theory they are. but this is totally war, like, our numbers are limited. and also we cant afford to make things any easier for people who are invested in killing us.

like in theory what if we had a utopian capitalist society; trans women would be treated perfect, cis women would be treated perfect, etc, except for that capital would exist lol but im just saying its capitalist because of the epistemological impossibility of describing a post-capitalist society. so cis women would have their uteruses respected and all that stuff (what do cis women care about????? idgi tbh) and trans women would y’know, not be in the absolute shithole.

so in that situation theory coincides with and applies to society so if a misogynist trend appeared it wouldnt hurt trans women to work with cis women on whatever was an issue with them with that. well the only thing that would hurt would be being seen in public with such unfashionable people. but i digress.

however in this late capitalist metadata-shaped reality, if we want to really center and support ourselves and our sisters, we have to preform some kind of triage. triage is a practice in medicine and more specifically field, military, and emergency medicine by which doctors quickly determine prognosis (oversimplified: how likely someone is to survive) and more importantly the effect of treatment on said prognosis. and then decide the order to treat injured based on that analysis. so basically they treat the ppl with severed limbs first so they dont bleed out, but the people cut in half last cuz it would be near impossible to save them anyway. you probably already knew all this, like, if you’ve seen apocalypse now or anything but i just really like talking about medical science lmao. humor me.

so we have to decide where the focus of social and material resources is most important and will do the most good for tw. thats pretty intuitive. i think if i said that to any tw i know shed agree. well tw dont usually agree with my taste in icecream muchtheless politics so maybe not. anyway :p♥

looking at it from a military/conflict analytical perspective, because there’s little difference between physical and emotional conflict and often its helpful to look at them the same, there are a lot of people working on cis womens “rights”. in fact many men also work with cis women on their ~issues~ ; trans guys being especially invested in this cuz its a way to be transmisogynist and gain power 4 free basically. cis women have that shit on lockdown, lemme tell you. they’re bringing their boyfriends and everything. meanwhile our boyfriends or cis girlfriends dont wanna be seen with us. but like i said a bunch already, nobody’s even working for trans womens basic needs (not rights) except ourselves. let me say: every time we go participate in a womens march, in a trans march, we’re getting played hard.

like hard girls. like major funny business. like serious shenanigans. why? because cis women and trans men use us and our incredible skill, talent, etc, and get us to organize, direct, speak at, etc the march and they get all the benefits. we get none. in fact we usually get sexually assaulted, traumatized, verbally assaulted, et ceteraaaa. like, are you seeing what im seeing? my triage says that thats definitely NOT something i should get within 10 miles of. dont rhetorically defend that, dont go, dont give your labor to ppl who are lookin to simply exploit you and send you home with less that you masked up with. or pussy hatted up. god thats the worst. fashion nightmare.

everybody has limited resources. it simply doesn’t make sense to spend our resources as tw on stuff which doesnt give back. every time you theoretically defend cis women in even a minuscule way i wonder why?? cuz the problem is you’re not gonna get anything from it! i mean maybe this is too max stirner but not really cuz what i’m saying is that we are small in active numbers, and we dont get any tactical assistance from anyone but our selves, and thus its crucial to focus solely on gaining resources for and preserving our own selves. especially when its not just a waste, its dangerous. the more leeway cis women get from trans women, the more they will exploit that and exploit the trans women in their movements; and use those women to decredit the women outside of their movements. dont be a token! i’m not kidding when i say you won’t get anything out of it.

remember the study that said trans women participating in communities are more depressed than trans women who dont. cis womens movements will suck you dry. okay that sounds kinda hot. they’ll do it in a non-hot way. they will use your brilliance for their own ends and dehumanize your daily life.

so when you give your energy to them, whether you’re a fulltime h8r like me or you dont really h8 anyone (i bet theres someone you h8 dont lie to yourself, we’ve all got that dark side hatred inside us), its not useful to ever focus on cis women. even if you like them a lot they dont really need your help. unless you’re a hardcore masochist and wanna never focus on yourself and only focus on others, which i get, its kind of a thing with tw, but lemme tell you its the most dangerous goddamn thing when done with cis women. at least if you put the needs of other tw over your own they will prolly help you in return! anyway please become an egoist and put your needs above others. thats not even actually egoism, so dont even worry about karl marx’ ghost coming to haunt you.

trans women need to use that kind of thinking more than any other kinda people, but we like put ourselves first the least! we are way too selfless. and literally everyone is conspiring to play the fuck out of us so we are sooo vulnerable to being tokens and hurting ourselves by giving energy to communities that just wanna exploit us. it sux!!

the moral of the story is, please never talk about uteruses and vaginas and reproductive rights and petty acts of misogyny like catcalls ever again lol, cuz the (millions) of cis women who talk about those things have got way more resources to fight those things which are comparatively nothing to what threatens trans women, and they are also 100% invested and complicit in your exploitation and demise! also it makes me sad cuz i want sisters to care about me and focus on me (and themselves) cuz i’m super vain.

i feel like what politics posts are missing on tumblr is like, honesty! ive become way more honest this year and i dont think it detracts from what im saying to say that posts focusing on trans women and validating us and totally tossing out all the cis bs thats constantly around us make me feel more cared about and more happy. i want people to care about my experiences and listen and share my passionate emotions. im extremely passionate about trans women fucking winning at life. and i know that cis women, men, every non trans woman always tries to stop me and my sisters from winning at every fuckin turn! damn! that sux!! but we have to deal with it, forreal, like, we can and will win by ourselves. nobodys gonna help us, as fucked up as that is, we have to make our own lives and come into our own resources and contacts and happiness and safety. but i know we can. and i know that cis women especially, who are very sneaky and try to pull like 10 fast ones on us a minute, (how do they do that) can be soooo harmful for us. anyway indulge me and just try not really focusing or contributing to cis womens or “transgender” movements et cetera et cetera cuz it’s the way2go. focus on yourself, real life, not theory, (like not theory as a huge major thing in your life its totally fun as a hobby, just dont let it control how you like, relate to people! cuz i see that a lot), your sisters, and winning. dont put your energy towards movements that really, honestly, will never be able to truly see you as human and give you any support or benefit whatsoever. jeez why’d i write this post this is so long wtf i never go on tumblr ok bye girls♥♥♥

dont believe the hype, bitches are the lowkey fbis sis !! ♥♥♥

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