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destieltropecollection · 6 years ago

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Destiel Trope Collection 2019 Day 9: Coffee Shop AU

rain is falling, looks like love | @alullabytoleaveby Rating: General Word Count: 5536 Main Tags and Warnings: coffee shop au, student!cas, barista!cas Summary: “Um. I didn’t order this.” Cas shrugs.“It’s on the house. Consider it a thank you for your patience.” Dean snorts. “Thanks, I guess. Although I’ve never been much of a muffin man. Honestly, I’d prefer a piece of pie,” he says with a winning smile. Cas determinedly doesn’t fall for it. “Beggars can’t be choosers, Dean. Eat your muffin.” -- OR: Cas works at a coffeeshop, Dean is a customer, and they're both ridiculously in love with each other.

...And One Awkward Barista To Go | @isolemnlyswear-iamsuperwholocked Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2113 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Coffee Shop Employee Castiel, Post-High School, High School Crush, Tumblr Prompt, Based on a Tumblr Post Summary: Dean finally got out of his hometown to go to college, but when he comes back on break he passes the cafe where he first met his old crush, Castiel, and old memories make him go inside...because what are the chances he'll even still be there, anyway?

Noveltea & Coffee | @rustling-pages Rating: Explicit Word Count: 50064 Main Tags and Warnings: Magical Realism AU, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining Summary: Dean once thought his literary themed coffee shop ‘Noveltea & Coffee’ would be a better, more satisfying source of income than working as a mechanic. He thought people would come for the good coffee and stay for an even better book selection. He also thought he’d be running it with Sam, but that didn’t happen. Now he’s stuck with a bad mood he’s emoting all over the place, a lovingly created coffee shop no one ever frequents and a soul full of worry for the brother he no longer talks to. When Castiel – a defeated librarian turned accountant – comes stumbling in during a November downpour, things change so drastically for the better, it might as well be magic…

Not So Alone Anymore | @pherryt Rating: General Word Count: 4211 Main Tags and Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, omega!cas, omega!dean, alpha!michael, web designer!dean, Mpreg, abandoned!dean, Misunderstandings, Pining, Confessions, Cas owns a coffee shop, Angst and Fluff, Pups, past michael/dean Summary: Suddenly alone and pregnant, Dean’s resigned himself to raising his unborn pups by himself after Michael skips out on him for greener pastures. Along comes Cas. They get off on the wrong foot but maybe Dean isn’t so alone anymore...

Nobody's Fault But Mine | @peanutbutterjelly-pie Rating: General Word Count: 6139 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Bakery, Misunderstandings, Mistaken Identity Summary: Castiel just should have listened. He seriously should have. But instead he found himself hypnotized by those beautiful green eyes and he totally missed the most important thing in the process.

50 Last Dates | @reaperlove77 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1379 Main Tags and Warnings: pining Dean, clueless Cas, Humor, fluff, coffee shop au Summary: It was Dean's guilty pleasure, watching scruffy guy dump his various boyfriends, a real life soap opera. He really, really wanted to get to know blue eyes better, but come on, Dean doesn't date shady. But there's more to the story than he expected.

Autumn in His Eyes | @DesiraeLovesDestiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 50464 Main Tags and Warnings: Bar Owner Dean/Artist Cas, Humor, Fluff, Angst with a happy ending, Smut, pining, minor character death, Summary: Castiel worked his ass off to escape his family and make a name for himself in the art world and now C.J. Krushnic was one of the most sought-after artists around. After years of abuse from his dysfunctional family, he was finally living as he pleased and answered to no one other than himself. Until his older brother, Lucifer, was arrested and found guilty of multiple homicides. Now the name C.J. Krushnic was synonymous with sex, lies, and murder. Castiel, exhausted and stressed by the constant paparazzi and speculation into his own psyche, goes into hiding, moving into an inherited property of his beloved grandmother’s in the cozy little town of Bear Claw, Vermont-where he meets one Dean Winchester. Dean, though not without his own baggage, is a kind and generous soul who unlocks something in Castiel. Seemingly not put off by his surliness-in fact, Dean seems to enjoy it- the kind bar owner reawakens Castiel’s muse, making him want to open up about his past and who he is. But Dean is too bright to deserve all of Castiel’s dark and the artist is determined not to let them become anything more than good friends. But Castiel soon learns that Dean has other plans.

Bean's | @lemonsorbae Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 6787 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Fluff Summary: When Dean had returned home from his third tour in Iraq, he’d begged the universe for a mundane life. No more guns, no more Arabic, no more shitty showers and MREs; Dean just wanted quiet.

Cakepocalypse! | @mittensmorgul Rating: Mature Word Count: 64145 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, Baker Dean Winchester, TV producer Castiel, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, 13.23 coda fic and therefore canon, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Angst and Fluff and Smut, but mostly fluff with a dash of crack.. Summary: “What the hell you tryin’ to sell me?” Dean asked, folding his arms across his chest. “Not selling, Deano. Buying. Or at least, renting for the duration of a limited season run,” Gabriel said, as Dean’s frown deepened. “Have you ever dreamed of being a Hollywood superstar?” Dean laughed outright at that and shook his head, turning around to pick up his coffee again. “Man, no way in hell. You got the wrong guy.” Spoiler alert: He did not have the wrong guy.

The Angel Cake Challenge | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 8132 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Universe, Fluff, Romance, Team Free Will 2.0, Day At The Beach, Mistaken For A Couple, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Public Displays of Affection, Pet Names, Endearments, First Kiss, Closeted Dean Winchester, Coming Out, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Good Omens Summary: There's a kooky gay couple sitting in this little beachside bistro, at the table next to Dean. Dean's biggest mistake was telling them they looked cute together. Now they've noticed Cas, and they're silently encouraging Dean to be as openly affectionate as them. Dean didn't sign up for this challenge. But now? Hell, he's in it to win it.

Purple Horse in a Coffee Shop | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 8437 Main Tags and Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Office, Pride Parades, Coffee Shops, Horses, Colorblindness, Pride, Workplace Relationship, Agender Castiel, Asexual Castiel, Wizard Castiel, Bisexual Dean, Prince Dean, Pansexual Sam Summary: Nobody expects to see a purple horse at a Pride parade. So, naturally, Dean Winchester is surprised to meet his office co-worker and long-term crush, Castiel, riding atop a magnificent steed - and dressed in full wizard regalia, no less. Somehow, Cas thinks he (and his decked-out horse) are wearing grey. They visit a coffee shop with their friends and family, trying to get to the bottom of this mix-up - and apparently the purple horse is coming too. “One medium black coffee with two sugars; one macchiato; three small soy lattes; one large decaf with a caramel shot - and ten apples, please.”

#destiel #writersofdestiel #destielfanfic #destielfanficnet #deancasfanficnet #supernatural #fanfic #tropes #coffeeshop AU #destiel trope collection #2019

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ofalissa · 5 years ago

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is that [VANESSA MORGAN]? no, that’s just [ALISSA ARMATI]. [SHE/HER] is [TWENTY-FIVE] years old and is a [CHEERLEADING COACH AT SPRINGHILL HIGH SCHOOL]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [SEVEN YEARS]. on a good day, they’re [AMELIORATING & SELF-ASSURED]. but watch out! they can also be [HAUGHTY & COSSETED]. [DON'T PLAY BY HALSEY] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill! [sam, 23, est, she/her]

*cher vc* hi again! it’s sam and i’ll also be writing sage ( @ofsage ) which is the easiest place to contact me for plotting! character info under the cut, so please message me if you’re interested!

i. stats

𝔣𝔲𝔩𝔩 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢: alissa jazmyn armati

𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫: manhattan, new york

𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔟𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔥: october 1st, 1994

𝔷𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔠: libra

𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫: pansexual

𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫: cheerleading coach at springhill high school

𝔦𝔪𝔪𝔢𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔣𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔶: dante armati ( father ), head of the armati crime family 𝔭𝔬𝔰. 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: ameliorating, self-assured, deft. 𝔫𝔢𝔤: 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: haughty, cosseted, volatile.

𝔭𝔬𝔰. 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: ameliorating, self-assured, deft.

��𝔢𝔤: 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: haughty, cosseted, volatile.

ii. history

alissa jazmyn armati was born and raised in new york city’s upper east side. she never knew her mother and her father wasn’t around much due to his work, so she was raised by nannies and private tutors.

her father, dante armati, is the head of a small but quite successful and dangerous crime syndicate that has a bit of a monopoly over the local illegal dealings back in new york : everything from pumping designer drugs into the streets to chop shops filled with luxury car parts to a long list of people who owe a backlog of gambling debts is connected to her father and his people.

as his only child, dante was VEEEERY protective of her and spoiled her endlessly. he used material things to make up for the fact that he was never around, and for the most part it worked. if she wanted it, then she got it.

alissa attended private school in new york as a teenager. she was a popular student with good grades and even won the role of captain on the cheerleading squad in her junior year ( two years after making varsity as a freshman ).

she was eighteen years old when her father was arrested for racketeering. at first, she assumed that he would get out of it. after all, it wasn’t the first time that cops had shown up on their doorstep in the middle of the night to take her father away in handcuffs. she assumed it would be just like all the other times, that she would walk downstairs for breakfast the next morning and find him sitting at the kitchen table, calmly reading his newspaper as though nothing had happened the night before. instead, one of his most trusted men was waiting for her with a one - way train ticket.

sent away for her protection, alissa arrived in springhill seven years ago. some but not all of her father’s assets were frozen, so even from behind bars he continued his habit of spoiling her, buying her one of the nicest houses in town and a brand new car as apology presents.

she spent her first few years in town doing little else besides shopping and throwing huge parties at her house every weekend. it was after one of her trademark enormous parties that she got into some trouble : a dui, and at the age of twenty, no less.

she volunteered at a local cheerleading camp in order to complete her court - mandated community service and she turned out to be so genuinely good at it that she was offered a position as assistant cheerleading coach at springhill high school for the upcoming school year.

alissa was promoted to head cheerleading coach at the high school at the start of the ongoing school year and she’s one of those teachers who all the students think is cool because she’s young and dyes her hair different colors and lets them call her by her first name because ms. armati is my eighty - seven year old grandma.

PERSONALITY : every stereotypical mean girl from an early 2000s teen movie, but reformed...mostly. the spoiled brat in her still jumps out in her every now and then and she still can’t really handle being told no, but she is trying to be more considerate of others and their feelings. loves teaching people how to be more self - confident and assertive, and she’s really good at it, however her guidance tends to toe the line between helpful and bossy. a total perfectionist who literally does not know what to do with herself if she isn’t in charge. far from the most nonjudgmental person to hang around, but perhaps one of the most generous and solicitous.

iii. extras

coaching has honestly improved her life and given her a purpose. when she first moved to springhill, she was still A HUGE BRAT who planned to do nothing but shop and party until her dad came to pick her up, but once she picked up those pom poms again her focus shifted entirely. she loves her job and honestly can’t picture herself going back to her old ways anymore.

she still thinks her dad is going to get out jail any day now — or, at least, that’s what she tells herself over and over again whenever she starts to lose faith which seven years later is basically all the time.

btw, the car that her dad bought her as an apology present is a purple ferrari 458. it’s her favorite car and the one that she’s most often seen driving around town in, but she has at least two others.

in romantic relationships, alissa is very fickle and overall she can be kind of a nightmare. she constantly needs attention, she can’t handle being told no, and she’s known for keying her ex’s cars. anyone she’s ever dated probably hates her now. yikes!

she has a piano and a painting room in her house, so she likes to get artsy in her spare time. she doesn’t really share her paintings, but if she’s written a song that she really likes then she might perform it at the local open mic night. not super important but i hc that kehlani is her vc and musical content ok thanks.

loves giving people makeovers and even regularly offers her unsolicited fashion advice to total strangers.

iv. wanted connections

“uncle” who is actually her bodyguard *wc on the main

best friend

cousins ( probably from new york but otherwise anything goes for this )

friends

makeovers

bad influence who tries to get her to party again

frenemies / enemies / ex friends

people she wronged when she was still in her mean girl phase ( both who have and haven’t forgiven her )

exes / flings / one night stands

( these are just a few base ideas, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here! )

#springhillintro #crime tw #hello again

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ofsonganddance · 5 years ago

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Guys Night In | Syder

Who: Sam Evans & Ryder Lynn

When: early January 2019

Where: Ryder’s place

Notes: mentions of sex

After weeks of talking of hanging out and multiple times of having to cancel due to other priorities rising, Ryder was finally on his way over to Sam's after stopping at the store to pick up a few things for their guys night in. It was better to stay in especially with the paparazzi always following their every move. With a few bags of food and take out in each hand, Ryder walked up to the entrance of Sam's place and knocked lightly before letting himself inside. "I'm pretty sure I just got papped walking into your place. TMZ at 11pm, just watch" he deadpanned, rolling his eyes as he set all the bags on the counter. "The Christmas party was definitely an interesting one to say the least. How was your Christmas by the way? How's the family"?

It had been weeks since they had decide on this talk, and they had hung out and talked, but still this conversation hadn't taken place. And a guys night was what Sam needed, as much as he liked hanging out with his bandmates, it was Ryder he got along with the best. A laugh left his lips when he heard Ryder, it wasn't the first time Ryder let himself in, and Sam was pretty sure it wasn't the last time either, it was a reason why Sam had given Ryder a key. "Oh, let's see the headlines," Sam replied, after the Christmas party Sam had actually kept a closer eye on what their fans said about his and Ryder's relationship. "Yeah, that was crazy," Sam replied, "I'm actually scarred, I kinda looked for like one of those fanfics and they like really get into details," Sam shook his head, and he pulled out a sixpack from the fridge." It was pretty good. And they're good, I think Stace is coming in a few weeks for like a weekend and then they're like spending springbreak here and doing like college tours." Sam opened one of the beers for himself, "what about you?"

Ryder unloaded the bags as he listened to Sam, a small grin tugging his lips. "That's great. Mine are same ole. We spent Christmas in Hawaii. Mom and dad wanted some place warm" he shrugged his shoulders "next year however I argued Salt Lake City Christmas. Skiing, snowboarding, log cabin. I mean don't get me wrong, I love the beach and all but it wasn't Christmas. Christmas is snow, hot chocolate, baking cookies and everything and it just wasn't that. No tropical shit for Christmas next year". Ryder unloaded the rest of the bags, his brow arching at Sam. "You didn't" he asked with a chuckle. "I haven't yet but now I'm even more curious about these fanfics".

Sam shook his head, "I never understood why guys like do that," he said, looking at the food, "I mean totally nice to somewhere like that for like new year or something." Sam leaned against the counter, "and good lucky with that, haven't you tried that like before and they agreed but you still end up going somewhere warm?" He let out a breath, "yeah, I did, I needed something to do on the flight. I'm just glad no one figured out what I was reading." Sam shook his head, "you should but don't like ask fans," Sam took a sip from his drink, "but it seems like they've decided that I'm bottoming for like everyone." Sam rubbed a hand against his neck, not sure on what else to say, "and it seems like threesomes is something they like to write too."

Ryder frowned. It was true. Every year he wanted some place cold, wintery for Christmas but it always was some place tropical. "Damn, you're right" he groaned. Maybe it was inevitable. He had to face the facts, he was never gonna get to go to the mountains for Christmas. He couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head "Well are you......are you a bottom" he asked curiously. "I mean I honestly have no clue what I would be. Maybe both" Ryder added with a shrug of his shoulders. "Dude, you fed those fans of ours a lot of stuff about what you love to do with our Cosmo article. You gave them plenty of accuracy to write about". He arched his brow, taking a sip of his drink. "Dare I ask about who is involved in these threesomes".

Sam couldn't help but to laugh when he heard that Ryder realized that he was right, "sorry to burst your bubble." Sam let out a breath, his head falling down against his chest, "I guess so," Sam replied, shaking his head taking a sip from his drink. "I mean most of the time I'm a bottom, I mean I've topped before but Sebastian prefers to top and I don't mind." He ran a finger around the rim of the bottle he was holding. "True, but it wasn't like I was that detailed," Sam said, "I mean, sure I said that blowing someone is pretty great, or giving oral over all." Sam ran a hand down his face, "I can't say what you'd like best but sure switching is great." Sam laughed placing his bottle on the counter reaching for the bag of Doritos, "Pretty much any you can think of," Sam replied, "I'm not sure on which one is more popular, some are with some of the Angels."

Ryder took a drink of his before nodding slightly in response as he listened to Sam talking about his sex life. "Exactly and you said you like taking it and now you wanna do another interview from what I heard. Quinn asked me if I would do one as well. I'm pretty sure she's asked all the guys" he said with a soft chuckle. "You're giving our kinky ass fans exactly what they want" he joked before playing nudging Sam. Now he was very curious. He slid out his phone and began searching for the fanfiction. "Over 250,000 stories" he asked with his eyes wide "Over 25,000 of us as pairing!? Damn! This is crazy"

Sam rubbed a hand over his head, he hadn't really thought every thing he had said in that interview through before he answered the questions. He had thought it would be a good way to come out, even if he never really was closeted, his friends knew, his family knew, and the only thing he had been asked regarding his sexuality was if he was gay, and he wasn't. "Yeah, I shouldn't do interviews like that or someone needs to approve of the writing," Sam said, he shook his head. "I know it's like ten times more than I thought," Sam replied, taking a couple of chips in his hand, "I still don't get why they wanna write about real people."

"Don't say that" Ryder exclaimed, setting his drink and phone down before walking over to Sam. "What you did was brave, dude. Very brave" he said wrapping his arm around Sam's neck, pulling the man close to him, ruffling his blonde locks playfully. "And you shouldn't regret saying what you said. And who cares if people keeping asking you if you're gay. Just tell them you don't identify any of those groups. You love people, sex and the gender doesn't matter. Like you're panromantic or pansexual or something". A grin tugged his lips "Me either but I kinda love it. It's kinda cool people write about us....all of us" Ryder chuckled.

"I'm not regretting it," Sam replied, letting out a breath. Sam was glad that it was out in the opened, and if he was honest, he was pretty sure some people, well, fans, had pretty much figured it out. It wasn't like he had hid it all that well. If they paid enough attention to the pictures he liked and what accounts he followed on instagram you could probably get an idea. "And that's what I've done, like I got questions about it before I came out but like no one asked if I was bi or straight if they had I'd told the truth." Sam let out a small laugh, "yeah, exactly." Sam shook his head, "yeah, I guess that's one way to see it but like I wouldn't like want to read all of it," he let out a breath. "I mean reading about how you're having a threesome with your friends not the most fun."

"Yeah...." Ryder couldn't help but laugh. Thinking of it he could understand the awkwardness about reading about yourself and your friends doing stuff. Although a part of him was intrigued to say the least. Definitely something he was going to check out later. "So tell me how are things with you and boss man"?

Sam let out a breath, taking a sip from his drink. He had been talking about Sebastian a lot these days, and what their relationship was like. "I'm not actually sure, I mean, what is there to tell, like we have sex, super hot sex and we like talk but not about what we're doing 'cos when I try and start something like that it's like he decides that he's gonna like seduce me and I can't say no because it's gonna lead to some super hot sex. But like six months of hooking up is a lot when you haven't like super defined what you're doing."

Ryder took in a deep breath as he listened to his friend. He bit down on his lower lip as he thought about what to say. He wasn't the best one to be giving out relationship advice seeing as he didn't really have a relationship. That was all Mike! "Well maybe you should ask him again and pull away when he tries seducing you. As hard as it may be you gotta figure it out. Six months is quite a long time and from the sounds of it.....it sounds like you might want more? Are you in love with Sebastian"?

It had been a long time since Sam had been a relationship. "Yeah, maybe," Sam said, letting out a breath, "I'll try and talk to him after the holidays," Sam laughed a little, "I don't feel like doing that right now." Sam leaned back, "and I don't really know what I know I want," he sighed, "and I don't know if I'm in love I mean the sex's great and I kinda don't wanna lose it y'know."

Ryder looked over at Sam, a confused look on his face. "After the holidays? Dude you okay" he questioned with a soft laugh. "We just came back from Christmas and New Year? Remember I was talking about wanting a winter Christmas. Skiing, snowboarding and all" he reminded him. "But yeah it's best you find out if it's more. If he wants more. I don't want to see you get hurt. I watched that a lot through high school".

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sam replied, "just give me like a couple of weeks." Sam knew that the longer it took for him to actually talk to Sebastian, the harder it would be to do. "I know," Sam sighed grabbing a handful of Doritos, "I know but it's hard, I got like no idea on where to start." Sam knew what Ryder was talking about, there had been more than one relationship that had lead to his heart breaking. "Yeah, but at least I gave those a shot," Sam said, a sigh leaving his lips.

"And you got to do it with this one" Ryder said as he took a few doritos from the bag for himself as she quietly chewed on them. "I would text him right now. Tell him you want him to come over tonight. Don't act all suspicious. Act normal. Make him think you want sex then just jump right into it. Ask him what all this sex means. Tell him it's not like an ultimatum or anything that you just wanna know if this is more then sex or if that's all it is to him. If it's more then you'll both figure it out without putting a label on it right away".

Sam let out a breath, he ran his hand over his head. "Pretty sure he's gonna figure it out." Sam shook his head, lips pressed together, "I mean sure I could try that." Sam sank down on a chair, "and I don't want him to think it's like an ultimatum because like I still love the sex, it's like the best sex in years and he totally knows what he's doing." Sam felt how his cheeks, almost burned, "and sometimes it feels like he knows what I want before I do." He shook his head, "I mean I'm not gonna go into details but let's just say that he really knows how to fuck, and there's something about giving him a blowjob, like being on your knees in front of him as he leans back in his seat, just relaxing."

Ryder let out a sigh as he listened to his best friend. He couldn't help but grin as he listened to Sam. Watching him get all flustered, red was cute. He never Seen Sam like this before. "Sounds to meet like you may be in love with him". Ryder sat down in the chair across from Sam, a beer in his hand. "You're gonna need to talk to him dude. The way you described all that sounds as if you have feelings for him. I'd hate to see you all heartbroken but if he doesn't feel the same then you're better off regardless if the sex is great. You're more then just meatstick. You deserve more than that".

The more he talked about it, the more he realized that he wanted more, he wanted more than just sex. But at the same time he was a bit scared of what that would mean. "Yeah I guess," Sam said taking a swing of his beer, a grin played over his lips, "pretty sure I'm not the meatstick," Sam replied, "I'm the person that he hides his meatstick in." Sam couldn't help the laugh that left his lips, "but just so you know he's meatstick is pretty great. I'd probably miss the sex a lot because it's so good." Sam took another drink from his beer. "I'd probably need someone else to get under to get over him."

Here they were talking about meatsticks and Ryder couldn't help but laugh with the blonde. As awkward as it should of been it definitely didn't fee like that. Ryder took a swig of his beer "I'm sure if it doesn't work out we can find another meatstick to hide in you" he chuckled. "There is always Blaine Anderson. Oh and Hunter Clarington, he's hot plus that guy really looks like he knows stuff too. And then there is Kurt Hummel".

Sam emptied his beer, smiling at Ryder, "yeah, true," Sam replied reaching for another one, he was sure that there would be one of two people that would offer. "Okay, I'm not going close to Anderson, don't know why, something just rubs me the wrong way with him," Sam took a sip from his new beer, "but I'm sure Clarington would be a great fuck, I mean he seems to like to be in charge but I don't know if he'd be down with it, but if he is, he'd probably prefer to hide his meatstick in me." Sam shook his head, he couldn't believe they were talking about this, "and for Kurt, pretty sure he'd want me to hide my meatstick in him." Sam leaned back a bit, "I mean, we did make out once at a party," he confessed, "and I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't gotten text it would have been more than that." Sam looked down for a second, and he bit down on his lip, "what about you?" he asked, "I remember some texts about you not saying no to a bj or maybe some sex."

"I know. I feel the same way about Anderson. In my opinion he just seems confused, I don't think he wants someone like you or any of us. I think he has a certain type. I think he more likes older men or whatever". Ryder couldn't help but let out a few chuckles as they talked about this. It was entertaining to say the least and taking their minds off what was really bothering Sam. "Oh definitely. Clarington seems like one who loves being charged and he's one of those that's into some /freaky/ shit" Ryder said putting emphasis on his last words, a soft laugh leaving his lips. His eyes widen At sam' confession. While he was surprised he wasn't that surprised. Kurt always did have a small kind of thing for Sam. Ryder finished his beer setting the empty can down, the brunette biting on his lip. "There was this one guy. He blew me and it was great and he wanted to do more but I kind of chickened out" he confessed.

"I don't even wanna think about what kind of guy he likes," Sam replied, shaking his head. He had never really gotten a chance to get to know him, and if he was honest he wasn't really interested in it either. It had been a long time since Sam had had this kind of conversation with anyone, and it was kind of fun. "Oh, yeah for sure," Sam replied, "I don't know why but I bet if he was into guys I bet he would be a great top, like taking charge. And let's be honest, there's something about the way he caries himself especially when he's in a suit." As Sam talked about this, he couldn't help himself from letting his mind wander what it would be like, and he was pretty sure it would be hot. Sam nodded his head, "yeah, like if I hadn't gotten that text I'm pretty sure we would have ended up in like a bathroom, 'cos I had like my hand half down his pants." Sam blinked, "dude, you never told me that when did that happen?" Sam asked, "and yeah, I get what you mean, I was nervous the first time with a dude," Sam licked his lips, "but it's kinda awesome when you get your first blowjob or give one." Sam bit down on his lip, "but you'd be into trying?" Sam asked, "pretty sure you'd be a pretty great top."

"Me either but who am I to judge. I don't really know him that well" Ryder said, shrugging his shoulders. "Oh definitely" he agreed with a grin on his lips. "Something tells me Hunter Clarington is definitely into guys and loves being in charge. He's got that whole bad boy demeanor" he said with a nod, talking almost as if he may of actually knew. "There was room in Kurt' pants for your hand" he joked about all the skinny pants Kurt wore. Ryder laughed seeing his friends shock over his own confession and his own cheeks heating at Sam' words about him being a pretty great top. "Well it happened a while back. It was the opening night of the tour after party. Back at the hotel" Ryder admitted, biting down on his lower lip. As he talked about it he couldn't help himself from letting his mind wander back to that night. The night that left him so hot, confused and even a bit frustrated. "Yeah I guess I'd be into trying it....both ways" he shrugged.

Sam couldn't help but to grin, "yeah, I'm pretty sure he'd be happy to take charge and fuck someone from behind hard and fast," Sam bit down on his lower lip, trying not think about that, or even a possible threesome that would include Hunter and Sebastian, if that ever were to happen, Sam was sure that whoever was the third part would have a hard time moving the next day. "Y'know," Sam began licking his lips, "I wouldn't mind like a night," Sam bit down on his lip. He shook his head, "yeah, it wasn't easy, but when you like get going things happens and you're not always sure on how." Sam leaned forward, "okay, I get it," Sam said, "and it's a good thing you didn't do something you didn't want." He nodded his head, "that's the best way to figure out what you like best, and I know I prefer to bottom, it's just something about it," Sam said, "but at times it can be fun to top too but it's been awhile since I actually topped someone."

Ryder arched his brow at Sam before letting out a soft laugh. "Why does that not surprise me" he questioned with a teasing grin on his lips. A threesome did sound kind of fun. Maybe it was something to consider once he got past the sex part of it all. "Interesting..." Ryder bit down on his lower lip before clearing his throat. "You know that night he started giving me a blow job and then his finger unexpectedly kind of went up and it hurt like hell for a minute but then something started feeling so good that I just.....well let's just say whatever he did up there I could not last much longer. It felt great but when he wanted to have sex I just froze and got ....scared and just ran".

Sam shrugged his shoulders looking at Ryder, "'cos you know me," he said, a grin playing over his lips. It was nice having a simple, well maybe not that simple, conversation with his best friend, but this was something he had missed. "Yeah, I know what you mean, like it feels good and like you don't like know why 'cos you've never felt like that before." Sam bit down on his lip, "man, poor dude he probably did something wrong but like you got lucky too like what if he told people and stuff that would have been weird. And probably hard to explain."

This was nice, they could talk about something serious as a topic like this and not be judged. Ryder liked it. He couldn't talk about this and have the same outcome with all the other guys, they'd probably respond saying they didn't want to hear it. "He knows he didn't do anything wrong. He reminds me all the time about that night, how he made me feel like that without even having sex" he said rolling his eyes. "How did you get over the nerves of your first time"?

"Okay good to know," Sam replied, "so who was it? I mean if you wanna tell me." Sam bit down on his lip, smiling as he looked at Ryder. Sam let out a breath, trying to remember how he had gotten over the nerves, "I mean I kind just went for it," Sam confessed, "sure we had like a lot of making out and like other stuff before we had sex," he said, "and y'know I wanted to do it, and he knew I was like nervous,." Sam took a sip from his drink, "I mean I was like 19 when it happened, and I just tried to think about what I did to get over the nerves the first time with girl."

If only it was that easy to just go for it. Maybe it was advice he had to take. Sometimes he did admit to running away nervously after that night. Ryder let out a sigh, biting down on his lower lip debating whether or not he should tell Sam exactly the man was. "You can't tell anyone else, okay" he said before taking a breath. "It was Hunter".

Sam's jaw almost fell when he heard who it had been, "that's totally why you knew or like said that he'd be in charge," Sam said with a grin playing over his lips, "and I won't tell," he said looking at his friend, "so you like wanna do him? Or let him do you?" Sam asked, "I mean I gotta say that I'm almost curious about how he would be in bed when he's like in charge." Sam wiggled his eyebrows, "and was he big? I got a feeling that he's packing."

"Now you're making me even more curious about how he is" Ryder couldn't help but laugh at his friends reaction and the curious questions. "I guess both. I'm curious about both ways" he replied. "Well.." The way Ryder cheeks heated at the questions just gave all his answers away before he could even say anything. "Well I didn't see much that night but oh yeah he's definitely packing. Thick" he replied coyly but not saying how he knew especially if he didn't see it that night.

"So figure it out," Sam replied, he knew his cheeks were getting redder, and he bit down on his lower lip, stopping himself from saying that Ryder should tell him when he found out. "Yeah, I guess that's true but we kinda figured out that he was going to be a good top, or at least he would know how to fuck someone." Sam shook his head, "I'm not surprised," he replied, "I mean if you like almost had sex you could probably feel it. It's something about guys in suits with like confidence," Sam let out a breath, "'cos Sebastian is also packing and he like knows it."

Ryder couldn't help but laugh. Never could he have a conversation like this with the other guys. "I felt it. He made sure I could feel him as we made it" he chuckled, shaking his head as he recalled the events of that night. Ryder rose to his feet and walked to the kitchen, getting two more beers. "He also reminds me constantly. Hunter loves sending me nudes. For some reason he really wants me".

Sam laughed, "yeah, I'm not surprised about that, it's actually pretty awesome when you're making out with a dude and you can feel him getting hard, and then realize how big he is," Sam bit down on his lip, "and you shouldn't like think about how it would be to suck that dick or being fucked by it, or maybe you should 'cos that can give you an awesome orgasm." Sam grabbed a few more chips, "it's not like he harasses you 'cos if he is you can like report him or something." Sam leaned back, "or maybe you should just hook up with him and see if he stops." Sam took a deep breath, "if he's anything like Sebastian, he would love an office blowjob, just so you know."

Ryder' cheeks heated even more as he listened to Sam. "Believe me I have,. I've woken up countless times at night with a mess in boxers" he admitted as she sat down, handing Sam another beer. "And i don't see it as harassing. When we're in the same rooms he's professional and all. Doesn't hint about what happened or anything like that to get a reaction from me". He bit down on his lower lip before shrugging his shoulders. "He's been after me for months now and I've really thought about giving in but I guess if I gave in I'm afraid it would stop. I like the attention he gives me I guess" Ryder said with a shrug of his shoulders. He chuckled "what is it? The excitement of being under the desk, risking someone walking in and when they do them having to act professional as if they aren't getting sucked off?"

"At least you're not getting the mess while you're making out," Sam replied, letting out a breath, and he took the beer Ryder handed him. "Okay," Sam said, "I'm not sure on what else to say, I mean it might be worth the risk if you like really wanna know how he's like in bed. I mean I'd go for it for sure," Sam replied, "like you can try and like figure out if he'd like to top or not, and then like decide on if you want it or not. But I bet you'd have a great time." Sam laughed, "like all of it," he said, grinning, "and it's something about knowing what you're doing to them too when they're like trying to act like they don't have their dick in someone's mouth." Sam took a drink from his beer, "and I mean their desks are like super great too, perfect to be bend over and get fucked." Sam shuddered, as he remembered the last time had visit Sebastian in the office and what had happened, Sam could feel the beer getting to him, "just so you know, if I didn't have Seb and you and Hunter were doing whatever it is I'd totally spend a night with him."

"Well....." Ryder bit down on his lower lip, he expression immediately giving it away that whatever it was between and Hunter had happened more then once. "That may have happened once" he revealed before taking a huge drink of his beer. His cheeks slightly heated as he listened to his best friend. All the scenarios Sam was laying out for him, the ideas had his mind going 808. It was making him really think about it. About possibly just letting it happen instead of freaking out about it. "Oh my God dude come on" he laughed. "Let me guess Sebastian bent you over his desk a few times. I can just see it in my mind now. It's like a porn movie" Ryder teased. "I'm sure Hunter would of went for it as well, especially if you weren't whatever you and Sebastian are" he chuckled shaking his head.

Sam shrugged, not really sure on what to say, "okay so you get the mess too," he replied, a laugh leaving his lips. He wasn't really sure on what exactly to ask, all he had to do was wait, wait for Ryder to actually voice what it was that he wanted. A grin played over his lips, and he rubbed a hand against the back of his neck, Sam knew that there was no reason for him to lie. "Yeah, I mean," Sam began, licking his lips, "it's pretty damn awesome," he said, "and besides that pretty much everyone knows that I like it from behind," he took a big swing of his drink. He let out a breath, "maybe," Sam shook his head, "I mean, pretty sure everyone is hooking up with everyone," he looked over at Ryder with a grin on his face, "pretty sure Sebastian wouldn't be a problem if he really wanted to, but he got his eyes on you." Sam grabbed a few Doritos, "I know you told me that he was packing but you also said it was pictures, so wanna show me. I can totally show you what Seb sent me."

"There was one time on the tour bus.....remember that night, we were in Texas, I didn't come out my room for that whole night. Not to mention the supply closet before our concert in Paris" Ryder chuckled remembering those times. Listening as Sam told him how awesome it was, he was finding himself considering just giving in to Hunter. He took a swig of his beer before setting it down and pulling his phone out of his back pocket. "You can tell anyone about this" Ryder warned as opened his text messages. There were so many messages between him and Hunter including some pretty explicit pictures. "Feel free to quickly swipe past some if you see one of me".

Sam shook his head, "you were like almost worse than me and Seb was," Sam said, taking a swing from his beer, "and I mean we had like fun a lot after the first hook up." He let out a breath, "and that was one hell of away to celebrate my birthday," Sam rubbed a hand against the back of his neck. "Promise," Sam replied, and it didn't take long until he saw what Ryder had talked about, "dude," he blinked a couple of times, "that dick almost deserves to be sucked," Sam leaned back bit, "so if you don't like do something about it," he ran a hand through his hair, "I'm so tell Sebastian that we can like have a threesome if we ask Clarington to join, 'cos I wouldn't say no to that cock, like both sucking it or y'know let him fuck me. Not that I'd do anything if you want him totally a bro code."

Ryder couldn't help but chuckle at Sam' reaction to Hunter. All Ryder could think about while the pictures were impressive, the view up close was even better. He bit down on his lower lip considering what Sam was saying. "Hunter isn't mine so technically he's up for grabs if Sebastian will even go for that....which I'm sure he will" he joked. "It's your choice dude. Hunter isn't my boyfriend or anything" Ryder said with a shrug of his shoulders. Did he like Hunter? Yes. For some reason Hunter was so much more down to earth when it was only the two of them. It made Ryder question why he was also different with him but he had such a huge cocky ego around everyone else? But now it was onto other matters. "Now show me Sebastian" he said before taking a drink of his beer. A grin growing on his lips.

Sam shook his head, "yeah not like officially but you're like doing something with him," Sam replied, eyes on Ryder, "so totally against the brocode but if you decide to like end whatever that you're doing it's fair game." A laugh left Sam's lips, "'cos he wasn't actually your boyfriend." Sam wasn't as sure as Ryder was that Sebastian would be up for a threesome, he wasn't that into sharing in the first place, so adding another person, probably not a good idea, but at the same time it could be fun. Sam let out a breath, and he pulled out his phone putting a picture up before he handed over his phone to Ryder, "yeah, probably not just Sebastian just be careful where you look and like read."

Ryder let out a breath when Sam had actually confirmed what he had been denying for quite some time deep down. Besides having fun and talking, texting most of the time, he didn't know exactly what is was between him and Hunter. Taking' Sam phone, his eyes widen as he stared at the picture. He could definitely see why Sam was so sex drunk on Sebastian. He was sex on a stick. "Talk about sex on a stick dude" he chuckled, taking another look at the photo. Being the nosy best friend he was he began scrolling through the pictures in the messages between Sam and Sebastian. "You guys are so dirty. I love it" he joked with a soft chuckle.

A laugh left his lips when he heard his friend, "yeah," Sam replied, he shook his head, "he's pretty great and he like knows what he's doing." Sam bit down on his lip, as he ran his finger around the edge of the beer bottle. "I've actually deleted some of the stuff that we've texted like some stuff weren't exactly something I wanted anyone else to read." Sam grinned as he looked over at Ryder, "and I've already told you about some of the stuff we did in his office. But like the best part is like when we've been away from each other because that's when you get like fucked hard or when he's stressed and needs a blowjob real bad."

"No fun..." Ryder teased although part of him was rather curious about the stuff Sam had said he deleted. "You could of just used one of the apps that hide your texts you don't want anyone else to see". He couldn't help but grin as he listened to Sam talk about what he thought was the best part of sex. Honestly he could see it. The built up sexual tension not to mention the distance between them, the anticipation. "Well of course it is. It's the build up to the reunion. The excitement, anticipation. And you know if you don't stroke the chicken the outcome is even better".

"I don't think you'd actually want to read those," Sam replied. "But it's easier to delete them, and then just remember them or you know ask for new ones." He couldn't help but to grin, it was always easy and fun to talk to Ryder. "I know what you mean," Sam said, "let's just say two weeks with no release and one week of like a lot of teasing wasn't exactly fair." He let out a breath, "so does that mean that you and Clarington are going to have some fun?"

Ryder couldn't help but laugh. "I can't even begin to imagine how unfair it was. I can hardly go two days without a release" he admitted. Ryder bit down on his lower lip as he thought about Sam' question. "I don't know. Hunter isn't really pressing or even suggesting more. I mean there has been a time where we could of went all the way but I feel he's just waiting for me to say the word. I'm just.....nervous".

Sam sighed, he ran a hand over his head, and he shook his head, "I know, but it was like a promise we made like no jerking off or hooking up with other people," Sam said, "and I mean like we finally got to it it was pretty awesome so it was kinda worth it." He pressed his lips together, nodding his head, "Yeah, I get it, but when you like figure it out it's pretty great, y'know with the right person." Sam let out a breath, "but like you probably should talk to him about it and like figure out if he actually wants to fuck or if it's just about the teasing."

Ryder arched his brow. He was a bit curious now about this promise. "Who suggested to make that kind of promise" he asked. "You or Sebastian"? If it was the latter then he was their manager was definitely fooling himself about his feelings for Sam. He pressed his lips together, smacking them lightly. "Might be just about the teasing" Ryder shrugged his shoulders before taking a sip of his beer. "

Sam let out a breath, and he shook his head, "I don't remember," he replied, "I think we were kinda drunk when we agreed on it." Sam ran his fingers through his hair, "but I mean it was hard for awhile but it was fun when we actually hooked up after it, like the sex was amazing." Sam hummed, and leaned back, "so you gotta tell him, like step up and do something or stop with the teasing if something isn't happening."

"You're right" Ryder said with a nod. The teasing was more him then anything. He knew it wasn't nice to string Hunter along but he loved the attention and part of him didn't want to lose that attention that Hunter was giving him. Once he gave into Hunter he knew he'd quit.

"You should know that I'm always right," Sam replied, and he leaned back, tonight had been fun. And they would need to do this some more, just the two of them hanging out. "And then you'll decided what it is that you want from him, and let him know and then it's up to him to decide."

Ryder chewed on his lower lip as he listened to Sam. He simply nodded in response. "You know for someone who claims they aren't smart you sure do give some damn good advice". He clinked his beer bottle to Sam' before taking a quick swig. Spending time with Sam tonight, just the two of them was fun. He wanted to do it more. Just the two of them.

"Dude," Sam began, "I've been where you are," he leaned back a bit, "and you should know that I'm awesome at giving advice as long as you're pretty specific about what you wanna know." A smile played over Sam's lips before he took a sip. "Okay, so let's watch something because as awesome as it is talking I think we need something lighter to do."

"Alright we can do that". A smile played over Ryder' lips as he turned the television on. "Why don't you just stay the night? We can pig out and just catch up. You can take the guest bedroom" he said he tossed the throw that was hanging over the couch to Sam. "Like always" he joked before he began going through the queue for Netflix looking for something interesting they both could watch.

"Great," Sam replied, "yeah, sounds like a plan, or we'll both just crash on the couch." Sam leaned back, letting the throw rest over his legs, "it's been forever since we did this." He waited for Ryder to pick something to watch.

"It has" Ryder agreed, a small smile on the corner of his lips. He choice one of Sam' favorite movies. Avatar. He reached over and grabbed the throw and opened it up, covering both him and Sam up as they sat their watching the movie as it started.

#syder #para #007

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justanotherbloggers-blog · 5 years ago

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This post may be a little triggering...

Okay, so let me say this right now. The reason this may be triggering is that I’m going to talk a little about religion. I know this is a touchy subject, and I know this probably isn’t the best platform to talk about this on. But my friends likely won’t listen to this, and I want so badly to talk about this.

I grew up Christian, and I want to say that it was fun. I have no real complaints about how I grew up. I wasn’t necessarily told about certain bigotries connected with Christianity like homophobia, transphobia, or even something along the lines of white supremacy. No one ever said anything about the “it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” thing in my youth Sunday School teachings. So, by the time I reached the age of about 10 or 11, I was hit with a tsunami of confusion when I suddenly started hearing about all of this hate or disapproval towards sam sex relationships. I want to believe that I’ve always thought everyone to be equal, but I can’t totally defend that as I don’t remember much that far back.

Now, I don’t know if I can identify as a Christian anymore. The way I see the Bible would be practically a sin if I brought it up with someone from the church I grew up at. I don’t see the stories in the Bible as real, but as fictional stories that tell good morals and things that would help possibly put you on a path to a good life. I think to read the Bible is a good thing, it gives you good life lessons like “treat others as you wish to be treated”. But I’m fully aware of the fact that some of that book was mistranslated. It was very old and translated from multiple languages before English.

I want to touch on something that happened in my church’s teen youth group. I had recently gotten a friend to start attending my church with me so I wouldn’t have to sit by myself through the sermons that didn’t interest me at all or during the youth group meetings. It’s been probably a few weeks at this point. We were finishing up a discussion about divorce when the group leader asked if we had a subject we wanted to discuss. My friend chimed in and asked if we could talk about homosexuality and LGBTQA+, which he agreed to. Now, here’s where things felt uncomfortable to me. I was already trying to figure out my sexual identity at this point and I know my friend was too. I had defined myself as pansexual based on some small stuff I noticed in my own life, and I had just came out to said friend I brought to church with me.

So, it was next week that we’d be talking about this. Her asking to talk about it already set a pit in my stomach. I was scared I’d get outted before I was ready. When I woke up that Sunday morning, I had almost forgotten about the discussion with the rushed fill of school that week. Being tired, as usual, I basically slept through the sermon that day. But I woke up and got excited for Youth Group, we’re given lunch every time so you can only imagine how most of us were just there for the free food. When it gets to actually starting the discussion, the pit in my stomach returns. The group leader passes out some papers with Bible verses on them for us to read and talk about. These verses had NOTHING to do with homosexuality nor LGBTQA+ being a sin. It was a story about two men visiting a village, and the men of that village threating and harming these men (assuming that the two were in a relationship). They cursed at them and yelled at them to let them all have sex with one of them or else. And the group leader decided that this meant that God does not want gay people because they will rape you for being the same sex. I remember sitting there and thinking, “Who believes this bullsh*t?? Gay people aren’t this violent!” My friend then chimes in, “I have two gay aunts who are also Christian,” and at that moment the room went silent. You could see in the group leader’s face that he didn’t fully understand the statement. Not in a way that he literally didn’t understand what was being said, but in a sense that he didn’t understand how a church could let two lesbians attend church. You could see he was thinking for a moment... And instead of commenting, he asked questions about the church her aunts went to.

I remember feeling a little crushed that day. I remember thinking, “This church won’t accept me if I said anything.” Which has kept me quiet even longer. I know there are people in that church that are very old fashioned. Those were the old ladies that still wore their “Sunday best” to church even though it wasn’t required.

So, basically, the bottom line is that I don’t fully believe I can call myself a Christian, but I can’t necessarily say I’m Athiest, either. I love the beliefs of multiple religions. I love that Christianity tries to teach kindness, I love the idea of certain crystals and similar objects being able to heal emotional wounds or bring down stress/anxiety, I love the idea of past lives and reincarnation. I don’t know what I identify as at this point.

I know this was probably all over the place, I wrote this at like 2 am. I just felt the need to write about this.

signing off

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5typesoftrash · 4 years ago

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Inhibitions - Chapter 3

Author: quicksilvermalec Artist: starfleetcadet1 Rating: M for swearing, mature themes, and minor sexual content Pairings: Sastiel, Castiel/Ezekiel, Castiel/Crowley Warnings: Rape/Non-Con (mentioned) Brief Tags: Angst, Pining, Drug Use, Minor Character Death Summary: So Castiel isn't the most - moral? Conventional? Call it what you like - attorney, but fuck if he isn't one of the best in the state of California. He's gone up against lawyers from all over and only lost a handful of cases in twenty years. So when a young up-and-comer beat him in a case he should have bagged, of course he was interested. But he wasn't expecting this.

[longer tags, link to art post, and fic under the cut]

Extended Tags: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No supernatural, Alternate Universe - No Angels, Alternate Universe, lawyer AU, Lawyer Sam Winchester, Lawyer Castiel, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied Sexual Content, minor explicit sexual content, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Minor Character Death, Offscreen character death, Getting Together, Getting Back Together, Falling In Love, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, First Time, breaking up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Betrayal, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Grief, Trauma, Negative Religious Experiences, Religious Sam Winchester, Mentions of Corrective Rape, Gay Castiel, Pansexual Sam Winchester, Pansexual Gabriel, Black Lives Matter, Protests, Pining, Mutual Pining, Age Difference, Widowed Castiel, Sad Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Endverse Castiel - Freeform, Sad Sam Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Good Brother Gabriel, Protective Gabriel, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, POV Castiel, Castiel is a Novak (Supernatural), this story is all over the fuckin place, kind of a wild ride with plenty of twists, enjoy!!

Have a link to the art and you can read this story on AO3 as well! 🧡

“He did fucking what?” Lucifer exclaims in hilarious incredulity when his brother explains the situation. He wears a shocked, excited grin on his handsome features. Castiel wants to knock his perfect teeth in.

“He rejected my offer,” Castiel repeats. “He didn’t want to be a part of this firm unless we could guarantee that he would continue representing protest clients who would continue to not be charged for his services.”

“He’s a better person than any of us,” Gabriel snorts. “He’s probably a better person than any other lawyer who’s ever lived.”

“Fuck all of you,” Castiel mutters.

“You really wanted him to take the job, didn’t you Castiel?” Michael asks, not unkindly. The tone is what catches Castiel’s attention; it’s very rare that Michael is soft or gentle.

“Yes, I did,” the younger lawyer replies candidly. “I very much believe that he would be an incredible asset to us—”

“But that isn’t why you wanted him to take the job,” Michael murmurs. “Something about this is personal for you.”

Castiel sighs and flops into his chair. He is quiet for a long moment, then says, “he reminds me of Ezekiel.”

The room is silent.

Finally, Gabriel speaks. “Why’s that?”

“I’m not sure,” Castiel laughs. “But there’s something about him that feels like… a second chance.”

“He would want that for you,” Michael offers. “I know he would.”

Lucifer is quiet, but even he seems sympathetic. Lucifer, who is often sociopathic, unfeeling, cruel, and outright horrible to everyone. Even he recognizes the significance of what Castiel is saying.

“What should I do?” Castiel asks, his voice breaking. He internally curses himself out. He hasn’t been vulnerable like this with his brothers in a decade and a half. Why is he doing it now?

“Talk to him?” Balthazar suggests soberly. “Approach him as a friend. Make contact. Be honest and open and kind and see where it goes.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Castiel says bitterly.

“Try,” Gabriel tells him.

Castiel traces the sanded design on the surface of the polished wooden table with the tip of his finger. “Alright,” he concedes. “I’ll try.”

Castiel waits four days to call Sam again. Sam picks up, seeming hesitant.

“Hello?”

Castiel sighs in relief that Sam answered at all. “Hi, Sam. It’s Castiel.”

“Yeah, Cas, I know. I have caller ID.”

Castiel cocks his head to one side as he considers what he’s going to say. “Alright, um… would you like to go somewhere together? To hang out, as friends, obviously? Get a drink or something?”

Sam is quiet for a moment, then says, “well—” On the other end, a rough male voice yells something at him. “Yeah, Dean, I fucking- Jesus Christ, yes, I got you beer when we went shopping. For the love of fuck, I’m on the phone!” There’s a brief rustling on the other end, then Sam clears his throat and says, “yes, I would like that a lot. I’ll try not to fangirl over you too hard.”

Castiel laughs quietly. “It’s alright, I don’t think I mind so much.”

“How’s Thursday night?” Sam asks.

Castiel grins. “Thursday would be perfect.”

“Then it’s a date,” Sam says in a cheesy tone of voice.

“It’s a date,” Castiel agrees, and hangs up the phone. He lays back on his couch, and then something occurs to him. His eyes fly open and he grabs his phone, texting Sam.

Did you call me Cas?

There’s a brief delay, but then Sam replies, Shit, yeah I did. Is that a problem?

No, Cas sends back. Not a problem at all. And then, I actually really like that.

Sure thing, Cas ;)

Cas.

Cas smiles as he lays back down. He can get used to that.

It’s a date.

Those words follow Cas everywhere, taunting him. It’s terrifying how easily they get inside his head.

It’s a date.

Not a romantic date, but a date nonetheless. And Castiel is going on a date with Sam Winchester. The cute boy who owns his own firm. The brilliant lawyer he’s maybe a little bit pining after.

They’re going out together. For drinks. As friends. Cas was starting to think he didn’t get to make friends anymore.

The next several days drag on for so long Cas is starting to fear they’ll never end, and those words trail after him through them. They light his way like a lantern, spreading soft, warm light across the path ahead of him.

It’s a date.

He shouldn’t be fixating on this like he is. He shouldn’t care so much. He shouldn’t be freaking the hell out over the fact that Sam said three totally innocent words.

And yet, alas, here is his, doing exactly that.

Ah, well. Sam will understand. He hopes.

He stews in his confused misery until Thursday morning, at which point he becomes hyperactive and anxious.

He spends the first three hours that he’s awake fussing over an outfit, then ends up not even wearing it to work. He can’t stop stimming on the bus ride, his leg bouncing wildly and his hand continuously flying through his hair. He smooths down his shirt several times as he walks into the firm to process paperwork and Lucifer laughs at him for being a nervous wreck.

“Fuck you,” is all he seems able to see to anybody, and he finds himself writing ‘Cas’ more often than ‘Castiel’ on his papers. He has to force himself to change it.

He is… quite magnificently boned.

Sam calls him at four twenty-two pm to confirm the address and time that they’re meeting. They talk for half an hour after establishing those two pieces of information, not about anything in particular, although they do discover a shared love of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. (And the obviously romantic bond between Steven Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes.)

Eventually, Castiel forces himself to hang up because Michael is giving him the patented Glare™ that means he’ll be in for a jolly good time getting yelled at once everyone else goes home.

He hopes he doesn’t miss his date.

“You are displaying poor work ethic for our interns and younger employees and bandying about the idea that it’s okay to slack off and to do whatever you want during work hours!”

“And?” Cas says, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, come on, Michael, surely you have something else. You usually yell at me about at least five of my major flaws. You have no qualms about me going out with this man we’re trying to employ? You have nothing to say about my drug habit, perhaps?”

Michael lifts a disapproving extended index finger into Castiel’s face. “Do not test me, Castiel,” he warns. “You are already, as they say, on thin fucking ice with your brother and I. It would be a shame should you be forced to leave the company on grounds of misconduct.”

Cas snorts. “You wouldn’t dare,” he claims. “I am still the best lawyer in the state.”

“After Samuel Winchester, that is,” Michael replies. Cas scoffs and shakes his head.

“Sure,” he shoots back. “After Sam Winchester. Whom I need to meet in approximately thirty-two minutes. So if you wouldn’t mind voicing the rest of your complaints to my answering machine, I will see you later. Brother.”

He picks up his trench coat and shrugs it on as he pushes past his brother into the hallway to head down to his car.

Michael does, in fact, voice several of his complaints to Castiel’s answering machine.

He knows because his phone rings multiple times as he’s driving to the bar, and when he steps out of his car, he has four new voicemails from Douchekavitch (Michael). He snorts and deletes them all.

He steps inside the bar and finds his new friend waving at him from across the room. He smiles and walks over to him.

“Hello, Sam,” he says quietly. Sam seems to light up.

“Hey, Cas,” he replies, grinning.

“What sinful delights shall we enjoy today?” Cas asks with a light laugh.

“Don’t mix drugs with alcohol,” Sam advises instantly.

“I’m a smart man, Sam. I wasn’t planning on it. What would you like to drink? I’m buying.”

“I can’t let you do that—” Sam says, but Cas holds up a hand.

“You are not in the best financial position, and I want to.”

Sam scoffs and shakes his head, sighing. “Alright, fine,” he replies. “You can pay. But I’m gonna have to buy you dinner sometime.”

“Oh?” Cas raises his eyebrows. “I suppose that’s a fair exchange. Now. What would you like to drink?”

They get their drinks and talk for a while, mostly about stupid, frivolous things, but Cas finds that small talk is easy with Sam. It sort of comes naturally, in a way that it never really has before, not even with his own family. It’s quite amazing how he’s managed to become to comfortable with Sam, the way that they just seem to fall into place together.

“Wait—” Sam scoffs. “You’ve never seen Star Wars?”

Cas shakes his head. “I was very sheltered as a child, I have almost 20 years of pop culture from my own childhood to catch up on, plus the iconic things that were created before I was born.”

“That’s it,” Sam decides. “One of these days, you’re comin’ to my house, you’re gonna meet Dean, and the three of us are gonna marathon Star Wars. In the right order.”

“Oh, I’ve heard there is quite a bit of discourse surrounding this. What is, in fact, the right order?” Cas inquires, taking a sip of his margarita.

Sam chuckles as he starts to list them off. “Four, Five, Six – sorry, I’ll use names – Hope, Empire, Jedi, TFA, TLJ, I suppose you kind of have to watch Skywalker, even though it’s really not great, then Phantom, Attack, Revenge, and Rogue One.”

“Rogue One is… immediately before the first movie, yes? The original Star Wars, I mean?”

“Yeah,” Sam replies. “It explains how they got the Death Star plans that set the first movie in motion. I’m sorry, I’m kind of a nerd—”

“Do not apologize,” Cas replies instantly, looking at him in awe. “It’s amazing. All I have to show from my childhood is bibliophilia and a dedication to a religion that, as an openly gay man, I probably should have already abandoned.”

Sam shrugs. “I don’t know, I left the church when I came out, and that took strength of a sort, but it takes a different kind of strength to be able to say ‘this is who I am, and I care about Christianity – I’m assuming you’re talking about Christianity since you said you’re a bibliophile but I could be wrong – and I want to stay in this community.’ I think that’s beautiful.”

Cas chuckles, finishing off his drink and setting down his empty glass. “You were correct, I was talking about Christianity. So you are a fellow queer person of faith? Or,” he corrects himself, “I suppose, ex-queer person of faith?”

Sam nods. “Yeah, I’m pansexual, and I used to believe… so much, and so deeply, that God loved me, that God wanted me to be the best person that I could be, everything I did was motivated by my notion of God. And then when I came out… some people were less than kind to me, we’ll say. Honestly, that’s an understatement. I had a rough time. I—”

“Take your time, Sam,” Cas says gently. Sam takes a deep breath.

“When I came out,” he says slowly, “my pastor, Pastor Jim – who had all but adopted me as his son – told me that I would never be forgiven by God, pushed me away when I needed his support, and… sent me to a corrective facility. I was fourteen.”

Cas isn’t sure he wants to know the answer, but he feels the need to ask. “Which kind?” he whispers.

“If you’re asking whether I was forced to undergo corrective rape the answer’s yes,” Sam says, his voice low and clipped. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even be telling you this.”

“You can tell me anything,” Cas says, and surprises himself with how true it is. He wants Sam to trust him, on a deeper level than he’s cared about anyone else trusting him in a long time. He rests his hand, palm-up, on the table for Sam to take if he so desires. “I am your friend.”

Sam looks touched, and does actually take his hand. “Thank you, Castiel,” he murmurs. “That means a lot.”

“Of course, Sam,” Cas replies, smiling at him.

He goes home in high spirits, relishing in the feeling of having a new friend, one outside of his family.

He ignores the small tug in his heart, drawing him toward Sam like a magnet. That can be tabled for later.

“Castiel?” Balthazar’s voice is cheery as he answers the phone. “What may I do you for, my darling?”

Cas laughs. “I have a question. When a boy you went out for drinks with – as friends – tells you that he is pansexual, spills one of his darkest secrets to you, offers to teach you about a culturally iconic series of movies, and insists on buying you dinner at some undefined date in the near future… does that mean that he’s interested in you?”

“Cas-ti-el!” Balthazar exclaims, pausing between each syllable. “Did you go out with Samuel Winchester?”

“Perhaps,” Cas replies, fighting a smile. “Do you have an answer for me?”

“I would say there is a very good chance that he is, yes. But be careful, Castiel. After what happened last time—”

“Yeah,” Cas sighs. “I know. I just… I really like him, Balthazar. He’s so kind, and thoughtful, and incredibly intelligent, and I really… really like him. I don’t know what I’m expected to do in this situation.”

“I just want you to be taken care of. If you think that Sam will take care of you, go for it. I’m not one to stop you. But if you think you’ll be hurt again… I can’t see you like you were after Ezekiel. I’m not sure anyone can go through that twice, and I don’t think any of us would be able to bear it. Watching you retreat back into yourself was the most profound pain I’ve felt in fifty-four years of life.”

Cas takes a deep breath. “And it’s taken me twenty years to open up again. I trust him, Balthazar. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”

“Alright, Cassie,” Balthazar replies. “But take care of yourself.”

“I will,” Cas promises quietly before hanging up the phone.

He rests his head against the wall, closing his eyes and exhaling slowly through his nose.

“I need to learn some fucking boundaries,” he mumbles to an empty room.

“I am proud of you, Castiel.”

His father spoke those words to him once in his entire life, looking down at him after Cas renounced his family.

It was so fucked up, and remains to this day. Castiel stood up in the middle of dinner, exhausted of the constant verbal abuse he was put through and yelled at them all.

Michael!

You are an obnoxious, selfish, arrogant prick with no love for anything or anyone. Get your shit together.

Lucifer!

You walk through the world as if nothing can touch you because you hate the thought of anything touching you. You are racist and misogynistic and transphobic and you disgust me.

Gabriel…

You never stand up for me. I needed you, when I was young, and you wouldn’t stand up for me. Why won’t you stand up for me?

And you, Father.

You hurl words like knives at everyone you can reach. You seek to cut down, to hurt and scar. You want nothing more than to inflict pain. You’re a horror. A blight on this world. I despise you.

He had thrown down his napkin and turned toward the door to find his way blocked by his father’s larger, stronger body. His father had looked at him, calm and cold, stoic as a stone statue in that effectual way no one else could dream of affecting, and said, “I am proud of you, Castiel.”

Cas had scoffed in disgust and shoved past him out of the room, out of the house. He had sprinted through the dark, rainy streets until he found the gate. He had run, and he hadn’t stopped running. Sometimes he feels as though he is still running, despite having repaired relations to a workable standard with his siblings and despite his father’s recent demise.

Gabriel had caught up with him at eleven fifteen pm, had found him kneeling on the sidewalk outside of a twenty-four hour 7-Eleven, clutching a half-empty Slurpee® he bought with the twelve dollars and forty-three cents he had on him in cash in one hand and crying. Gabriel had sat down next to him, Castiel who was still just a scared, sixteen-year-old boy, and wrapped him in his arms, and whispered, “I am so sorry, little brother.”

Cas had buried his face in Gabriel’s shirt, wrapped his arms around his brother, and lost his drink. It went splattering across the concrete behind Gabriel, a puddle of blue icy slush seeping through the cracks, but neither of them could bring themselves to care.

“I am proud of you, Castiel.”

Gabriel said those words to Cas that same night, but he meant them entirely differently.

Castiel’s father was proud of him for finally proving that he was, in fact, a man – by his father’s standards, not his own. For releasing his anger in waves, flinging them at everyone around him rather than managing it in a healthy way as he’d been striving to do his entire life up to that point. Castiel’s father was proud of him because he’d finally found some small part of himself in Castiel’s cerulean blue eyes.

Gabriel was proud of his brother because he was strong. Gabriel was proud of him because he had found it somewhere inside of him to stand up to the three people he’s always been most afraid of and to say ‘I have standards for myself. I will not continue to be treated this way.’

Gabriel was proud of Castiel because he loved him.

That would always be a far greater gift than anything anyone else could conjure up.

Castiel would never forget that.

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#sastiel #sastiel big bang 2020 #michael #lucifer #castiel #gabriel #balthazar #ezekiel #sam winchester #tw rape #rape tw #tw abuse mention #abuse mention tw #child abuse #tw child abuse #child abuse tw #deansil writes #anger issues

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sprinkleofdiaz · 7 years ago

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Pride - (Dean x Cas)

Synopsis: Dean attends Pride with Jo and Charlie and after a small accident crosses paths with a cute blue eyed stranger.

Pairings: Dean x Cas

Warnings: mentions of injuries, mentions of blood, nosebleeds, swearing. Cas is a sweetheart.

Word Count: 2,511

A/N: Dean is trans in this fic, any feedback is appreciated. This is something I write for @illbeyourgentlemanstory as it was his birthday! He’s such an amazing friend and always so kind to me so I wanted to do a little something for him :)

Dean never thought for a moment that as an adult he would allow his face to be painted and listen to commercial radio. Yet here he was, dressed and ready for Pride, sitting on his couch while Charlie crouched in front of him, painting a flag on each cheek as she hummed along to a Bruno Mars song on the radio.

“You done yet?” Dean huffed.

“Almost, dammit Dean, hold still,” she chirped. She put two fingers underneath his chin and tilted it toward her so she could finish the flag. “Done!”

She took out her phone and got up the front camera, handing it to Dean so he could admire her handiwork. One cheek showed the trans flag whilst the other had the bisexual flag. Dean pressed his fingers against his cheek and let out a low whistle,

“Not bad,” he said, smiling.

“That’s because my painting skills are totally kickass.” Charlie said clearing away the various paints, paintbrushes and sponges lying about.

“Are you two done yet?” Jo said, standing in the living room doorway, looking more than ready to go. She crossed her arms, frowning at the two of them.

“Y’know Jo, it’s not too late for me to paint a flag on your face,” Charlie teased.

“I know ten different ways to injure you with my sunglasses,” Jo began, gesturing to the sunglasses that sat on top her head. “If you come anywhere near me I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

“Fine, grumpy.” Charlie said, smiling. She stood up and grabbed her bag and held both of hands out. “Ready Dean-o?”

“Ready when you are, kid.” Dean said turning off the radio before taking her hand. Jo took her other hand and the three of them made their way to the train station.

It had been a little under a year since Dean had come out as trans. He always knew he identified as a male and finally coming to terms with his gender identity felt like a weight was off his shoulders. It wasn’t easy coming out, but with Charlie’s help and guidance he eventually did. He received a mixed response from those around him.

Sam was more than accepting. So was Ellen and Mary. It did take awhile at first for Mary to come around and use the correct pronouns but she did and now will fiercely defend Dean against anyone who tries to make a bigoted remark or incorrectly misgender him. Bobby took a little longer to accept but when he did he made to do lots of research and was now kicking himself for being so closed minded. It was John who reacted the worst. His and Dean’s relationship became strained until recently. Now he was finally beginning to accept Dean for Dean.

It was a rocky road but Dean felt happier. He had Jo and Charlie by his side who were excellent allies and friends. The sisters he never asked for.

They took their seats on the train and Dean glanced around him. It seemed that 90% of the other train passengers were attending Pride too, if their colourful outfits, painted faces and rainbow flags were anything to go by. Jo and Dean were dressed pretty plainly in comparison. Dean sported a simple t shirt with Pride printed on it and Jeans whilst Jo wore something similar, instead opting for a plain tank top with colourful badges pinned on that she stole from Charlie. Charlie had made her wrap the ginormous rainbow cape around her shoulders. Charlie went all out. Brightly coloured clothing, rainbow top, various badges, a lesbian flag and the official LGBT flag painted on each cheek and a bright pink boa to complete.

Dean had been staring out the train window for the last twenty minutes or so and was lost in thought until he heard the sounds of the group of people sitting opposite them begin to sing a pitchy rendition of ABBA’s Dancing Queen.

“Friday Night and the lights are low, Looking for a place to go, Where they play the right music, getting in the swing,” one of the boys warbled as his friends clapped along and danced around him. Dean glanced at Charlie who grinned mischievously. Both he and Jo knew was about to come. Charlie stood up and walked over to the group, joining in with the song.

“You come in to look for a king,” Charlie sang. The group around her cheered.

“God help us all.” Jo grumbled, however a small smile teased at her lips.

The other passengers had taken notice of the musical commotion, some even tapping along or murmuring the lyrics from where they were sitting.

“You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen, Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine, You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life, See that girl, watch that scene, diggin’ the Dancing Queen.” They sung in unison. They somehow got slightly worse but Dean gave them an A for enthusiasm.

One of them placed a paper crown on top of her head and Charlie swaggered towards Dean and Jo grinning widely. Jo rolled eyes as Charlie returned to her seat, grinning.

“I didn’t peg you as an ABBA chick,” Dean said.

“I’m a girl of many talents, Dean Winchester.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Dean teased. “You’re no Robert Plant, don’t quit your day job kiddo.”

Jo laughed which resulted in Charlie glaring at the both of them befor playfully sticking her tongue out.

Dean was grateful to be off the train. It soon grew too hot and sweaty and he could feel himself breathing in the other passengers body odour and sweat. Charlie sandwiched herself in between Dean and Jo and took both of their hands swinging cheerfully as she guided them towards where the parade would be. They snaked their way through various flags, brightly coloured people and costumes and Dean wasn’t sure he had seen anyplace as lively and joyful.

Music thumped and the crowd was cheering and dancing. Dean wasn’t one to publicly dance or sing (except a few incidents of drunken karaoke which he will never talk about) but he was able to bask in the joy and unity from the crowd around him.

Dean wasn’t sure how much time had past but he was hungry. It seemed as though Jo had the same thought.

“Anyone else hungry?” She asked, raising her voice over the crowd. She was met with hums and nods of agreement. "Charlie, you can come with me to grab some hot dogs. Dean, make sure you guard this space.”

“Roger that,” Dean did an exaggerated salute and watched as Charlie and Jo walked arm in arm towards a nearby hotdog stand.

Now aware of his solitude in the bustling crowd Dean felt a little self conscious and didn’t quite feel like dancing. Instead he tried to get a closer look at the parade, moving a little to get a better view. Unfortunately, he just happened to be standing behind a guy who was dancing wildly. His swinging arm collided with Dean’s nose.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean hissed out, clutching his nose and clenching his eyes shut in an attempt to ride out the pain. He was more than ready to confront the guy when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” A concerned, unfamiliar voice asked from the side of him.

“Does it look like I’m okay?” He grumbled back.

“Well, actually n–”

“Don’t answer that.” Dean slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times to regain his focus. He was met with the bluest eyes he had seen which twinkled in the sunlight. The stranger was devastatingly handsome, and the corner of his lips was quirked upwards.

“Let’s find a place where there are less people.” He said, hand still on Dean’s shoulder as he guided him towards an empty spot outside a shop.

Dean leaned against the wall and held his head upwards, still holding his nose.

“You seem to be bleeding a lot. I have some napkins in my bag. That should help.” The stranger said as he reached into his backpack and pulled out a couple of napkins. He the proceeded to tilt Dean’s head backwards for him and rubbed soothing circles in his hair. Dean had to admit, he really liked it.

“So, do you have name?” Dean mumbled.

“Castiel.”

“Like the angel?” Castiel nodded. “Cool. It suits you.”

“Or you can just call me Cas,” Cas said.

“My names Dean. This your first time attending Pride?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, mine too. Bet you didn’t expect to be spending your time playing nurse. Kinda a shitty first time.” Dean chuckled. Cas tilted his head slightly.

“I wouldn’t call it shitty. Unexpected yes but it’s not all bad,” he gave Dean a friendly smile and Dean really hoped his cheeks didn’t turn colour.

He had seen his fair share of attractive people but Castiel was by far the most attractive person Dean had the pleasure of encountering. Accompanying his gorgeous blue eyes, was yesterday’s stubble and his tank top with PRIDE printed on it, above a rainbow heart, fit him perfectly highlighting his defined and toned body. Plus his kindness was a reassurance to Dean and he had a feeling he was safe with Castiel.

“So, if you’re alright with me asking, what brings you to Pride? Are you an ally?”

“I am pansexual. Or a better explanation would be, I am totally indifferent to sexual orientation,” Cas said smiling. “Similar with my gender identity. Although I go by he and his pronouns, I would call my gender somewhat fluid. Though not everyone is understanding and accepting of that.”

“I hear ya on the gender identity. I’m trans, coming out weren’t easy. My old man took the longest to accept,” Dean said. Cas was the first person outside of his family Dean had openly stated he was trans too. Under any other circumstances Dean probably wouldn’t have mentioned it, however the fact he was at Pride a place where he knew he could be truly accepted without being treated differently and hearing Cas talk about his own gender identity, relaxed him. Cas nodded thoughtfully.

“What about the other people in your life?” Cas asked. Dean shrugged.

“Now they’re really supportive, sure at first it was rocky but now I’m in a place where I think I might actually be happy.” Dean replied. Cas nodded and smiled.

“That’s really great Dean. I’m happy for you.” Cas said and he sounded as though he genuinely meant it. Dean could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. Unsure on what else to do he removed the bloodied napkin he had been holding, tossing it in a nearby bin and replacing it with a clean one.

The sound of his name being called, grabbed his attention. Turning his head he saw Charlie and Jo half running over to him. Arms tangled, trying not to drop their hot dogs, their faces filled with concern.

“Dean! Oh my god, are you alright?” Charlie asked.

“Who did this to you?” Jo snapped. She turned and looked at Cas who looked unsure on what to do or say. “Did you do this?”

“Woah, easy tiger. No, it was just some dude dancing. Cas here helped me out.” Dean reassured the girls who now looked relieved.

“Oh.” Jo said quietly.

“My own Doctor Sexy.” Dean blurted out. As soon as the words left his mouth he was mentally kicking himself. Cas blushed whilst both Charlie and Jo now gave Dean a knowing smirk.

“I see.” Jo said, her eyes raking up and down, Cas.

“Nice to meet you, Cas.” Charlie said. “Make sure you look after Dean.’

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both. And not to worry, Dean is in safe hands,” Now it was Dean’s turn to blush.

“Well, I think we should leave you crazy kids to it,” Charlie said winking at Dean. “Come on Jo. Like they say, Three’s a crowd, four’s an even bigger crowd.”

“That’s not a thing, Charlie.” Jo grumbled back. Charlie ignored her, only dragging her into the crowd,

“Hey! What about my hot dog!” Dean shouted after them, however his shouts were drowned out by the noisy crowd. He removed the napkin from his nose and was pleased to see no more blood. He tossed it into the trash can before turning to Cas. “Well, I’m not dying, that’s a good sign.”

“Yes that would be unfortunate,” Cas replied, humour in his voice. Dean also detected a hint of flirtation.

“I ain’t much if a dancer but I would love if you joined me in the crowd.” Dean said.

“I would love to.” Cas replied, matching Dean’s smile. The two of them walked into the crowd.

“Dean,” Cas said, dean turned his head in acknowledgment. “Now I’m not one to believe in fate and as much as I dislike the fact you got hurt I can’t help but feel a little glad that we met each other, even in unfortunate circumstances. Maybe us meeting each other is a good sign.”

“Dude, that’s the cheesiest thing you could have said!” Dean chuckled. He felt a little guilty when Cas awkwardly looked towards his feet so he slipped his hand into Cas’. It was warm and soft and their hands slotted together neatly. He smiled when Cas looked up at him. “Buddy, something tells me we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.”

Permanent Tag List: @thegenderqueerbatman

#dean x cas #dean x Castiel #destiel fluffy #Destiel #pride #destiel pride #my fics #dean Winchester x Cas #Destiel Drabble

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hekate1308 · 7 years ago

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The Baggage We Carry, Chapter Four

Read it on AO3

The work on the project went remarkably easy. Castiel was a good partner, and spending time in the library was always a plus. Dean was almost dreading the end, since they wouldn’t have an excuse to see each other anymore...

Not that he looked at Castiel like that. Of course not.

Still, better not even mention him, lest Dad got suspicious. He’d heard enough comments about “that type”.

Also, Castiel was probably straight anyway.

Not that it mattered. Because Dean was not interested.

“And here I thought you’d left me for Feathers” Crowley said a few days after his and Castiel’s first meeting when he met him for lunch once more on the roof.

“Feathers?”

“Named after an angel right? Would you prefer choir boy?”

Dean huffed.

“You haven’t even spoken to him”.

“I’ve never spoken to about ninety percent of the student body. I fail to see why I should”.

“Right. Anyway, Cas is cool”.

“Cas? Are we giving him nicknames now?”

Dean was really hoping that he wasn’t blushing, but the odds were not in his favour.

“Castiel is a mouthful, alright?”

“Nothing against a good nickname, Squirrel. I just made an observation to see your reaction.”

“And? What do you think?”

Crowley looked at him in a rather impressive imitation of Cas’ squint (Dean had long ago learned not to even ask how he knew) and said, “You’re interested aren’t you”.

“In what?”

Crowley didn’t say a thing.

“I – you mean – no – not like that at least”.

“I wish you’d stop calling it “that” as if it was a scary disease or something. You like what we’re doing on a regular basis, don’t you?”

Dean flushed.

“If you had my Dad...”

“Considering Mother once told me I was conceived during an orgy, I doubt mine had anything against “that””.

“Well, mine has. I’m supposed to marry a woman and have kids anyway.”

“So they can in turn slave away their lives in the garage? Sounds wonderful”.

“I won’t force them” Dean mumbled, hoping he’d always remember. He didn’t want to turn into –

No. That thought was disloyal. He wasn’t disloyal, and he respected his father.

Silence settled between them, mostly because they’d talked about the subject hundreds of times already. Still, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“Where do you go sometimes during lunch?” Cas asked him that afternoon.

“Were you looking for me?” he replied immediately, cursing internally how eager he sounded.

“I usually sit alone” was all the answer he got.

Huh. He’d never even thought about it, but now that he did – even though Cas had been here for a few weeks Dean had never even see him talk to anyone else.

Dean knew what it meant to feel lonely. Hell, it could easily be claimed he’d felt that way all his life, except for when he was with...

“You know what? Let me introduce you to someone”.

“Look at that” Crowley drawled the next day.

“The famous Castiel Novak”.

Cas looked away and blushed; for a second, something ugly that was too much like jealousy flared up in Dean’s chest.

Then, he said, “You’ve been talking about me”.

“For hours at a time, Feathers”.

If Cas was at all fazed about the nickname, he didn’t show it.

“He doesn’t talk about you”.

“For the record Squirrel, I am wounded. But no, he has his reasons, and I would say you should adopt the same tactic”.

“Why?”

“You got parents, right? They’ll hardly like you hanging out with the school’s bad boy”.

“My parents don’t pay attention to me. I have five older siblings”.

It shocked Dean how casually he admitted to being ignore by his own parents. Yeah, his own were not exactly in tune with his wants and needs most of the time, but they cared about him.

“Look at that” Crowley said. “The boy whose mother wishes he doesn’t exist, the boy whose parents have already created a life schedule for him, and the boy who gets looked over all the time. We’d make a great band”.

“Misfits forever, right guys?” Dean asked.

Somehow, it felt right, having introduced Cas and Crowley.

As his friend had told him years ago, they were aware they were only pretending most of the time.

“Almost done with the Geography project” he reported that night.

“With that angel kid?” Dad asked. He constantly forgot Castiel’s name, which was probably for the best.

“Yeah”.

“Must be a religious family” Mom mused. “If they named their son after an angel...”

“Isn’t the only one. He has an older brother called Gabriel. Six kids in total”.

“We could have managed that too” Dad said, winking at Mom.

“Dad!” Sam complained.

“Ah, Sammy, you’ll be a man soon enough”.

What does this have to do with behaviour at all? Dean thought, I’ll never get what it’s like to be a man in his eyes. I’ll do everything he wants me to and he still won’t treat me like one.

He didn’t like these moments of clarity very much, he decided.

“Dean, honey? Is everything alright?”

He gave his mother a tight-lipped smiled.

“Sure, Mom”.

“I made apple pie for dessert”.

He grinned.

During lunch the next day, he sat with Cas, and Aaron soon joined them. They joked around and had a good time, but later Cas told him quietly, “You sometimes look said when you think no one sees it”.

He tried to shrug it off.

“We can’t be happy all the time”.

“You deserve it” Cas said earnestly before blushing and hurrying away.

Maybe the fact that he only ever managed to get weird friends should have told him that he was strange himself years ago.

A few weeks later, he’d come to regret ever introducing Cas and Crowley.

Not because they didn’t get along, although both could be snippy when they felt like it.

But because they were starting to gang up on him.

Crowley had now and then chastised him in the past for not caring about his homework or lessons, but Cas was a million times worse, and for some reason, that made Crowley talk more about it than ever before, too.

“Dean, have you done your work for geography?”

HE rolled his eyes.

“We still have a week to do it, Cas, and Miss Rachel doesn’t like me anyway”.

“She doesn’t like what she thinks is your laziness. But you’re good in geography, you could get good grades”.

“Which won’t matter in the slightest”.

“I wouldn’t be so sure Squirrel, if you want to get into college – “

“Why would I want to go to college, they only have a fund for Sammy anyway – “

“Even more reasons to work hard, so you can get a scholarship”.

Dean burst into laughter.

“A scholarship? For me? Crowley have you even met me?”

“Yes, which is why I know you’d do well if you tried”.

Dear God, he actually sounded sincere.

“But I don’t have to”.

“Says who?” Cas asked.

He was currently sharing a cigarette with Crowley. Dean had been pretty surprised when the guy had turned out to now and then like one – he couldn’t imagine someone who looked less like he’d grab smokes when he could.

“You know – “

“We do, Squirrel. You keep complaining about it. For God’s sake” Crowley groaned. “Don’t look guilty, we’re your friends, we’re supposed to listen to your complaints. But the thing is, you’ve never tried to do anything about it”.

“I hardly see Dad changing his mind –“

“He doesn’t have to, Dean” Cas said, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Only you have to. Once you’re an adult, you can do what you want”.

“He’s right. I’m not letting this town hold me back; I’m gone as soon as we have our graduation”.

“Harvard, right? Just so I know where I have to get the scholarship” he answered, trying to distract himself from the fact that Cas still hadn’t let go off his hand.

“We are being serious” Cas said.

He wrenched his hand free and got up. He’d had enough.

“If I want a lecture, I’ll just go talk to my parents, thank you” he hissed before storming off.

He only stopped when he’d made it to a restroom, telling himself there were no tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

He might just have lost the two best friends he’d ever made.

And cas had been holding his hand...

No. That was bullshit. They both saw something in him that wasn’t there.

They were both clever. They’d go far.

Who knew, they’d probably go to Harvard and study together. And maybe thejy would grow even closer, Crowley was after all pansexual and Dean now and then had the feeling there was something between them...

After all, his own make out sessions with Crowley had all but stopped, so maybe...

He was so gone on Cas, he was so freaking gone on the guy, and it didn’t matter, because he’d leave, they’d all leave, and dean would still be here, longing for something he could never have, and maybe he’d meet Cas again one day when he came to visit his folks, they’d see each other on the street and he’d need a moment to even remember his name...

He was being dramatic. He had officially reached the point where he was having a breakdown in the school restroom.

Good God he was pathetic.

There was a knock on the door.

“Dean? Are you in there?”

He almost groaned.

“Cas...”

His friend entered and closed the door behind him, fishing his phone out of his pocket.

“I’ll let Crowley know where you are. He’s worried too”.

Dean snorted. It was difficult to imagine Crowley worried about anything.

In the next moment, he felt bad for the thought. He’d known him for years, after all.

“Dean” Cas began softly, “We didn’t mean to hurt you. I am very sorry”.

“It’s alright... Look, you two don’t have to try and make me do things for a future I won’t have, okay? Because then I think how I won’t have it and it makes me feel...”

He stopped and looked away.

Cas took his hand again.

“Dean” he said insistently, “Please. I am not saying you have to. I am not saying you should just decide to eventually, inevitably leave your family behind. I know how much they mean to you. But why should you just accept the future your parents want for you?”

“They’re my parents” he said softly.

“And have they ever asked what you wish for?”

“No” he admitted.

“They should have” Cas said, rubbing soothing circles unto the back of his hand with his thumb. Dean swallowed.

“Maybe, but they only want what’s best for me”.

“Believe me, Dean, I get it” Cas replied, “I wish my parents would care as much, sometimes”.

“I care about you” he admitted.

“I know”. He smiled. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

Friends, right.

They were friends. And that was all they’d ever be, all they could ever be, in this town where Dean was supposed to find a “nice girl” to settle down with.

Dean’s stomach dropped slightly and he forced himself to step away and let go. He still smiled at Cas, though.

There was no reason to let his crush get in the way of their friendship.

Who knew? Maybe they’d even keep in contact when he left for college.

Another knock.

“Are you two done with your moment? Can I come play too now?”

He rolled his eyes.

“Come on in Crowley”.

His friend entered.

“High school restroom. Classy.”

“We can’t all have as wonderful taste as you, your Highness”.

“That is true indeed. Just wait when my mother actually snags a millionaire.”

“As long as you’re of age, you mean, boarding school boy”.

“Screw you”.

“Maybe in your dreams”.

And just like that, they were back to normal.

And if Dean started his geograogy homework that night in his room, no one had to know.

#my writings #destiel #high school au #smart!dean #bestie!crowley

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clinicallyfreezing · 7 years ago

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Why destiel makes me mad and other interesting things about homoerotica in Supernatural

THIS IS NOT A LOOK OF COMFORT ON DEAN’S FACE. THEY ARE NOT CANNON AND WILL NEVER BE CANNON.

Let me start off by saying, I do not hate destiel and I have never hated destie.l I hate the how the shippers act and the things they do with the ship. Just to fill everyone in who might not know anything about this ship or the show, Destiel is a ship between Dean Winchester and Castiel who are two characters on the TV show Supernatural, which is aired on The CW channel here in American (not sure where in other countries) the show happens to be a big part of my life and to make a VERY, VERY long story short… I have had many problems with those that ship Destiel as I ship the opposing ship and we don’t see eye to eye on how it all works. Let me make it very clear that I ship Wincest and not Destiel, and I have many reasons why but this is not the time or place for that. Now, I did at one time ship destiel. Until I dove deeper into the spn fandom and found out that the separate destiel ‘fandom’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and I began shipping many other things (some cannon, some not.) My main issue with Destiel actually isn’t the part of the fandom involved! It’s actually the huge fact that it makes Jensen Ackles, who plays Dean, very uncomfortable (but hey I would be too when it’s being thrown in my face 24/7.) And it’s not just destiel! Jensen stated that Misha made him uncomfortable. With the panel situation I think Jensen was finally over it and sick of hearing about Destiel and all the Bisexual/gay comments in past panels. He’s not homophobic, he’s just not okay with it coming toward him and a character he’s spent so long developing anymore. He really loves his wife and kids, which is another story. And he’s been doing Dean since 2005 which is a fucking long time dude. That’s 12 years (or seasons) of character development. I’d be pissed too if someone came for me and my characters after 12 years of developing them and making them strong. Okay, yes, the destiel 'fandom’ is a very large part of Supernatural, however a lot of the shippers are very rude, overly demanding with the writers, and down right uncomfortable to talk to/be around. This doesn’t mean EVERY single one is but a lot of them are. A lot of them overanalyze 'subtext’ (for example a simple look becomes bedroom eyes and a touch automatically means the ship is cannon.) Let’s take the Cupid episode (05x14 “My Bloody Valentine”) for example. In this episode it was apparently stated that if a Cupid touches two people they’re meant to be soulmates just by touching and this one Cupid they think is involved with these weird ass suicides hugs Dean and Cas. Now, first of all it wasn’t stated how a Cupid does what they do, and secondly it was sadly overanalyzed by Destiel shippers. Please keep in mind the Cupid also hugged Sam. My real question to those that analyzed this is, if this was the case and Cupid did work like that then tell me why Dean and Cas didn’t fall madly in love right there? Because it’s not how it works. See, it goes a little something like this: the Cupid has strict orders from heaven on who is supposed to be put together, and that’s when the Cupid takes action to touch the two and make them fall hopelessly in love. Besides, Castiel states that hugging was how a Cupid shook hands. The Cupid had no order from heaven to hook Dean and Cas up. Can we also take the fact that Castiel is an angel into consideration? In the episodes that angels are introduced to us (like season 4) Dean and the other angels make it VERY clear that they are genderless. They have no “junk” as Dean puts it. Although whatever vessel they’re in would, an angels actual form doesn’t and they disregard gender entirely (listen they’re supposed to be perfect beings, I was a church kid for years and I read the Bible’s entirety in order to be the best kid in church, like I was better then the pastors children and I know my shit. Even Lucifer would be junkless) this is further proved by the times we’ve seen different angels in other vessels with opposing genders from their original ones. Lucifer takes form as a woman for a bit in order to get Nick (Mark Pellegrino AKA the best Lucifer other then my Sammu babu) and Raphael even took on a female vessel for awhile. Hannah also took on a male vessel for sometime before her death. Getting back to cas, I headcannon (and I’m 95% sure it’s cannon) that angels are Asexual. Cas only has 3 'sexual’ encounters in the entire show and one of them is only presumed to be true. He’s had sex once on screen as a human and not even an angel. As an angel, he made out with Meg all hot and heavy like claiming after he “learned that one from the pizza man” referencing the pornographic movie he watched while in the same room as Sam and Dean. Speaking of Dean, let’s talk some Dean. Dean is explicitly shown as being straight in the show (having a whopping 38 mentioned sexual encounters, (boo you whore!)) and as being quite uncomfortable and flustered in situations where homosexuality becomes a thing. We see this in a few episodes. During the starting seasons Sam and Dean are mistaken for a homosexual couple instead of brothers on many occasions. And in another episode Dean has a run in with a guy who actually becomes a big part of the episode and when he mentions having a moment Dean gets noticeably more awkward. Dean has also been very much on that one track mind of “straight pride!!” From the start of the series and that’s something we should look at as well. Sure, all Dean’s protesting kinda can make you think the opposite, but we really don’t know much about Dean’s younger life. We don’t know if he experimented or not or if he even thought about homosexuality at all because this isn’t something TV is ready for at this time. Let’s also talk about how Sam’s not so explicit sexuality and Dean’s very strict sexuality is a direct reflection of their personalities. Dean is so strict and never really shows many emotions (early on he was a goof and then he really got more serious) he’s a no chick flick moments kind of guy. So him being straight makes a lot of sense. (Other then wincest I happen to ship Dean/Jo and Dean/Lisa in my free time because straight Dean is cute Dean)

Alright, let’s talk about other things in spn that make me think and my headcannon sexualities.

I wanna start with Sam because his sexuality actually intrigues me. There is NO explicit sexuality for Sam. He’s just all over the place. It’s assumed that collage gave him more room to experiment but all we know is he was with Jessica in collage. I do head cannon that during the series he is bisexual or possibly even pansexual. Any who here’s some 'evidence’ to why:

1. BRADY- Brady and Sam had a “history.” In 5.21, Two Minutes to Midnight, Crowley calls Brady Sam’s “demon lover.” (And if I were Sam I’d totally tap that, Brady’s actor was fucking hawt) 2. Uh? Brad Pitt??- in one episode (can’t source it I forgot which one xD) Dean asks Sam who he was dreaming about, and sure it could be brotherly teasing but it’s sorta interesting that Dean says both Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt as if Sam was bisexual.

3. Crossroads demons- crossroads demons are supposed to be alluring to the one who summons them, and Sam happened to summon 3 males. I mean Sammy, any deals sealed with kisses? I think we could be asking his question to Bobby. So Sammy…

4. Jared confirmed Bisexuality at a panel?- now I watched the video of this and yes it was actually said.

Dean- I headcannon Dean as straight, however Sam’s his fucking world and he loves his baby brother with his all. (So I guess he’s Heterosexual/only homo for Sam? Is that considered Heterosamsexual?)

Cas- I headcannon Cas and ALL angels as Asexual. Except Gabe and Lucifer.

Gabriel- I headcannon Gabe as Pansexual.

Lucifer: I headcannon Lucifer as Pansexual.

Crowley: Bisexual but mainly Homosexual. He had an orgy with two men and a woman for fucks sake.

Charlie: VERY HOMOSEXUAL. SHES A SWEET NERDY LESBIAN AND THOSE THAT THINK OTHERWISE CAN JUST LEAVE.

Kevin: I headcannon that Kevin is still working on his sexuality and who he is, so he’s bicurious.

If you have questions about anyone else let me know.

~Fic requests are open. Literal RP requests are open. Ask me about my AU ideas and prompts.~

#destiel #i'm not trying to start shit #supernatural

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