#let’s erase this sprint race from our minds

[itsabitcloudy]

Let’s all have a moment to relish Max winning his 4th WDC.

Max is a 4th time world champion.

Max is a 4th time world champion.

Max is a 4th time world champion.

Max is a 4th time world champion.

[jbuffyangel]

Second Chance: Arrow 1x18 Review (Salvation)

The villain of the week is one step ahead of Felicity in "Salvation" which gives Oliver the opportunity to be there for HER, as they race to save Roy Harper's life.

And oh holy cow is there Lance family drama y'all. WOW. Scandalous.

Let's dig in...

Olicity

This is one of Arrow’s more suspenseful episodes. Felicity goes toe to toe with the villain of the week and she more than meets her match. This results in one of Arrow's cooler action sequences and some iconic Olictiy moments.

But first, we must work out.

Of all the times Felicity watches Oliver working out, this is my favorite. Emily Bett Richard’s face is hilarious.

Her comic skills are so on point and she brings a much needed levity to the show. But do not deny this woman her dramatic work. She can bring her A game anytime - as we will soon see.

Oliver is off to threaten (or kill?) a dirty real estate developer named John Nichols, who doesn’t mind skipping code requirements if it means saving a buck. Oliver fed up with this guy killing people in the Glades and he’s on the List, so hasta la vista, baby. (Do not deny my my nineties cliché remarks. They bring me comfort and joy.)

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) someone else beats Oliver to it and kidnaps Nichols. Oliver is strangely displeased. I mean... what's the difference? Felicity and I share a brain sometimes, so she asks Oliver on my behalf.

Source: @andjustforthismoment

These two are in their own rom com and we’re just along for the ride. The way he growls “They don’t show my level of restraint,” at Felicity is a lot. Is it really necessary to stand that close to her Oliver? No it’s not. I SEE YOU SIR.

The man who kidnapped Nichols executes him on live television which was super creepy. He definitely has a Heath Ledger as the Joker vibe to him. (Nobody said the comparisons to the Dark Knight are unfair.)

Felicity is unable to crack his encryption code because he’s a former cyber crusader called “The Savior” and the NSA has been searching for him for years.  His real name is Joseph Falk and he erased his existence after his wife was murdered in the Glades.

When he failed to get justice for his wife's death, the Savior took matters into his own hands - not unlike our favorite vigilante. His cyber skills are no joke and give Felicity a real run for her money. She is unable to track him down before he kills Nichols, which leads to a hilarious if frustrated exchange between Felicity and Oliver.

Source: @yet-i-remain-quiet

JUST GET MARRIED.

Things go from bad to worse for Felicity when Falk kidnaps the district attorney. His crime was not prosecuting the person who murdered Falk’s wife. If we were on the fence as to whether Nichols should live or die, then the district attorney snaps us out of the moral grey zone. Prosecutors choose not try cases all of the time for lack of evidence. It doesn’t mean they should die for it.

Source:  msr-olicity-love

Oliver's impatience only heightens Felicity's stress, but she finally gets a location. It’s the middle of the day which means Oliver can’t hood up. So he grabs the motorcycle and his super sexy brown jacket to hunt Falk down and save the DA.

This leads to one of my favorite Arrow action scenes. Falk is not at the location Felicity sends Oliver to, which means he has to sprint across town and leap between buildings to next location. Felicity is completely flummoxed because she doesn't understand how this guy is moving locations. Oliver screaming at her over comms is not particularly helpful either. 

Unfortunately, Team Arrow loses and Falk murders the DA on live television, which is completely traumatizing to Felicity who has never seen anyone die before. 

Oliver returns home to find Felicity alone in the dark, twirling one of his arrows in her hands. Oliver immediately wants to know where Diggle is because he’s probably wondering why John left Felicity all alone in the dark.

Felicity: I asked him to leave me alone in my loud voice.

Source: @westallenolicitygifs

Oliver isn’t going to do the same. He immediately reassures Felicity that it wasn’t her fault (because it isn’t). This is the price of the life they’ve chosen to live. It’s a very lonely one as Oliver knows all too well.

Source: @jamiedornaniseverything

Felicity is understandably feeling defeatist, so it’s one of the rare times she says it’s better to be alone. Oliver doesn’t have much to say in return, but notice how the scene is shot. The entire bunker is dark except for the brightly backlit desk lamp. Oliver and Felicity are the only thing we see in the darkness.

Felicity also mentions her relationship status, which feels like an oddly placed comment. Umm… ok? SHE’S SINGLE AND HETEROSEXUAL GUYS!

I love receiving pieces to the Felicity Smoak puzzle, but this comment felt very out of context. “Hey I’m sad, but I wouldn’t know how to talk to my boyfriend about fighting crime. Good thing I don’t have one.”

It is NOT the fans who create romantic undertones to Oliver and Felicity’s scenes. The writers make it romantic with conversations like this. It’s very easy to keep a scene like this strictly platonic, but nope! The writers decide it’s super important that Oliver knows *right now* that Felicity is single as she pours her heart out to him in her time of need.

The light is equally important, because this relationship (regardless of romantic or platonic) has to be a two way street. Felicity cannot always help Oliver find the light. He has to help her too.

Oliver does come through Felicity by the end of the episode. Not at first because he is equally struggling with the loneliness of the life he’s chosen. He can’t really advise Felicity against being alone because that’s the choice he’s made for himself. So much so, that Diggle takes him out for a burger and a little therapy session. After the disaster zone his past relationships have left in their wake, Oliver is tapping out. He doesn’t require a life, or entanglements, or feelings.

Diggle: You’ve been home for eight months Oliver, I don’t think you’ve left that island yet.

Diggle, per usual, disagrees. He wants Oliver entangled. He wants Oliver as entangled as he can get. It makes you wonder if he has someone specific in mind.

The Savior puts a big mirror up to Oliver’s face. He is man grieving the loss of his wife and chose to channel that rage and sadness into exacting his brand of justice.  Oliver can see himself in Falk and he doesn’t like what he sees.

Being alone leads to exactly that. While Oliver may say he doesn’t want the complexity of relationships and the difficulties they can bring, the reality of living life alone can lead to some pretty terrible results. Falk cut himself off from his humanity. This lead to selecting victims who didn’t deserve to die. If Oliver wants to maintain a moral high ground, make difficult but ultimately right choices, then he needs his humanity fully intact. Humanity requires human contact.

Oliver reaches out to someone first, but it’s not Felicity. It’s L*urel. He wants to have dinner or coffee or whatever because he no longer wants to be on an island.  It’s a nice line. It would have more meaning if we saw that dinner or conversation, but we don't.

Instead we see Oliver return home to the bunker, to Felicity and Diggle, and they debrief their latest Team Arrow victory.  It would be easy to leave this scene at Felicity’s funny remark about Roy and Thea.

Diggle: You ok?

Oliver: Getting there.

Instead, Oliver acknowledges, more to himself, that he’s feeling better because John was right. Then we actually see this rigid man move and in the cutest way possible - with a little "Psst." It is a small yet definitive step towards his second chance.

Oliver approaches Felicity in the now brightly lit bunker and tells her she is not alone. He is there for her always. Felicity may not have a “boyfriend” to talk to, but she has Oliver.

Then he gently touches her shoulder and lets his hand linger there just long enough to even make Felicity wonder if maybe, just maybe, he means more.

Actions speak louder than words.  Oliver may talk about not being on an island anymore with L*urel, but he leaves that island for Felicity.

Roy Harper

What are we doing with Roy Harper? Thus far it’s been a lot of Roy and Thea having the same “make better choices” argument and debate their wildly different economic lots in life. This is all well and good but we eventually need movement on this character and “Unfinished Business” give it to us BIG TIME.

Thea is understandably frustrated when Roy admits he plans to hold up a liquor store because he “owes” people in the Glades and that’s how this town works.

Thea: I got you a job at my brother’s club. You have choices. You don’t have to be a criminal.

Somehow this decision puts Roy in the Savior’s cross hairs. According to Falk, Roy Harper is a gang banger.

Roy has a criminal record and holding up a liquor store with an empty gun is not great, but a freaking death sentence? Calm down crazy. The Savior can’t find bigger fish to fry?

Roy doesn’t make excuses or ask for forgiveness when Falk challenges him to defend himself against his “crimes.” He doesn’t care if he lives or dies (just like someone else we know).

Roy: No one’s gonna miss me. I’m just a waste.

Gut punch. This kid wrecks me. Now Thea is crying in Tommy’s big brotherly-like arms. WE MUST SAVE THE PARKOUR PRINCE!!!

Felicity and Diggle determine Falk is on the old abandoned subway system in Star City, which is why he was moving locations. The Hood finds Roy before Falk can pull the trigger and they engage in a morality debate, which thankfully isn’t broadcasted across the whole city after the feed is cut off. Or maybe the city should have heard Oliver’s arguments.

Oliver: I understand being alone, but it doesn’t give you the right to kill people in cold blood.

The Savior challenges Oliver on the difference between them and, once again, he doesn’t have a lot to say. There's minimal morality wiggle room for Oliver. The only difference between the Savior and the Hood is the people they are choosing. Oliver wasn’t wrong at the beginning of the episode. He has more restraint. He also has a better list of names. The Savior should ask for a couple.

Killing the District Attorney and kidnapping Roy Harper show that Falk is very bad at being judge, jury and executioner. Arrow is putting other vigilantes up against Oliver to show that he is better. There is a good heart under that hood – a potential superhero’s heart. Oliver’s morals and how he measures the sins of others are more just, but that doesn’t make him right. These distinctions we are drawing between Oliver and people like Falk and Helena are merely shades of grey. He is balancing on a very razor thin edge.

Oliver begs Falk to give Roy a second chance, but is forced to put an arrow in him when he refuses. “Salvation” is asking an important question. Who is worthy of a second chance? And who decides who is worthy?

Killing not only ends someone’s life it removes the possibility for change. There is a clear distinction between a man like Nichols and Roy Harper. There should be consequences to sinful actions, but what sins warrant death and what sins warrant forgiveness? Who decides? It’s a question we grapple with constantly in our imperfect legal system and it’s one Oliver Queen must answer as the city’s self appointed protector.

Roy is an easy call to make. He made mistakes, but he is deserving of a second chance. However, the question of whether he is worthy of it can only be answered by Roy Harper.  As he pulls the small arrow that saved his life out from his pocket, Roy is illuminated by a bright red light – a not so subtle nod to the Red Arrow. 

And thus a hero’s journey begins with a second chance.

The Lance Family

This week on Loving the Lances… Dinah returns home with hopes of resurrecting their dead daughter but family secrets were unearthed instead. Dun dun dunnnnn!!!!

L*urel is on her own show, so I thought I’d give it a proper soap opera name. She never intersects with Oliver’s storyline except when she randomly pops up at the club looking for Tommy, but I digress. In all seriousness, this episode is pretty damn good because some scalding hot tea was spilled!

Dinah is CONVINCED that Sara is alive because she had the exact same baseball cap as the woman in the photo. This is such a weird detail to hang all her hopes on. Does Dinah think Sara was holding the rockets hat in her hand while she was swept out to sea? What’s with the hat? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

Long story short, Sara is truly dead. L*urel finds the woman in the photo. She’s American, spent some time in China and owns a Starling City Rocket’s hat. We’re going to pretend the Chinese Embassy can find some rando in a photo and deliver her name to L*urel in five seconds flat. Also, Oliver confirms once again Sara is dead and he never lies so we’re all good.

But now we can get to the really interesting part of this little Lance drama unfolding before us. L*urel has the same questions about the hat as I do! I am wildly uncomfortable being this much in agreement with her, but here we are.

Dinah came home while Sara was packing for her little get away with Oliver. She watched Sara pack the hat. Dinah told her not to go, but Sara said she was in love and following her heart even though others may not think it is right. Just like Dinah did with Quentin (side note – what’s the story on those two?)

Dinah: So I let her go. I killed my daughter.

HOLY FRIGGIN CRAP! MOMMY KNEW ABOUT THE CHEATING AND NOT ONLY DID SHE NOT SAYING ANYTHING TO L*UREL SHE LET SARA GO ON THE DAMN BOAT!!

This family is so jacked up. They make the Queens look halfway normal. Y’all I don’t even know what to do with this information. HOT. MESS. EXPRESS.

Clearly Dinah is riddled with guilt and is desperate to find Sara alive to erase the terrible decision she made, but she can’t erase it. Just like Oliver can’t.

Somehow this betrayal almost feels worse than what Oliver and Sara did. Alright, maybe that’s too harsh, but it feels just as bad. It feels like Dinah was taking sides and she chose Sara. 

I really need a therapy session with these women to unpack all that, but this is Arrow and L*urel doesn’t get that much screen time. The best we’ll get is an awkward hug and L*urel asking her mother to call her sometime.

What L*urel is offering is a generous second chance. Perhaps she’s realized that forgiveness is less painful than holding onto all the anger and hurt. Perhaps Oliver coming home and her mother’s time away made her realize she wants Dinah in her life than not at all. It’s really only a decision L*urel can make, but it’s a chance Dinah needs to jump on. She didn’t stop being a mother when Sara died. L*urel needs her too.

Stray Thoughts

L*urel advises Thea to run from the bad boys. Snort. So it’s a “do what I say, not what I do” type of advice day.

Moira serves Frank up on a platter to Malcolm Merlyn as the person who hired Deadshot. Moira’s hands are getting pretty damn bloody.

It has to be hard on L*urel to see that the only time her parents can be in a room together, affectionately touching, and being on the same team, is when they are searching for Sara. I really felt bad for her this episode. Ugh.

Slade and Oliver ransom the chips for a boat. It goes disastrously. Now Yao Fei is captured again.

Hey! Shado speaks English and can kick ass. Neat!

 “Keeps my ears warm.” He jokes!

“I’ll be home in a flash.” Dinah lives in Central City. Season 1 Jen didn’t get that reference, but I am a seasoned professional in the art of comic book references and I totally picked up on it the second time.

“Stay” by Rihanna was playing during Oliver & L*urel’s scene at the end of the episode. This was my song of pain in 2013. The Vampire Diaries used it in a particularly agonizing Stefan and Elena scene as well that year.  It's like white hot pokers in my heart.

Listen to the Watchover podcast reaction to 1x18!!!

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Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

[hoyaanae]

The beautiful dialogue of Lovely Us

Ep 01

"Once people become parents, their memory begins to become biased. They always remember they are their children's most reliable parents, but often forget that they are also children loved by their own parents. When they are waiting for their children to come back home, they forget that their own parents are also waiting for their return in a similar mood."

"When I'm absent from the concert, my idol won't know or feel sad. But when I don't go back to accompany my mom to celebrate her birthday, she'll know it. I don't want to make her sad."

Ep 02

"A lot of things are good at hide and seek - the old scarf I bought last year, the new eraser, Mom's favorite sewing needle, and a feeling of heartbeat for someone. We try to find them, but in vain. Then when we give it up, they just appear somewhere unexpected - on the back of the chair, in the book, in the cotton thread, and behind my back.

Human heart beats 60 to 100 times per minute on average. That day, I failed to count my heartbeat per minute. Even the water droplets falling from the umbrella were disrupted together with me. The joy, the thrill and the butterfly in the stomach converged into the restless heartbeats. On this raining day, a girl's heart beat 101 times in a minute."

Ep 03

"Huang Chengzi, why is the starry sky beautiful? Do you think it is because of the brightest star? Of course, everyone might say "Look, the Venus" while pointing at the brightest one. However, for those stars shining together and forming the Big Dipper and Orion, don't they look beautiful? They cannot be described as a foil. Anyway, I think some stars that keep shining might be more beautiful than the brightest one however dark they are."

Ep 07

"The audio frequency of the sound when a snowflake falls on the water surface is over 50,000 Hz. Because it falls beyond human beings' hearing range, this snowy day is still so quiet that it seems I can only hear my own heartbeat and that it seems there is only me and the person in front of me on this planet with a population of 6.6 billion. I hope this world can be noiser so that I can pretend that I've never discovered this secret."

"Do you have such a feeling? People around you always tell you that you are already standing on the top of the mountain, but when clouds and mist scatter, you find there is another higher peak waiting for you. After going out, I've found there are so many people who work harder and are more excellent than me. It's just like in an originally easy marathon race, I suddenly find all the people around are sprinting. So, I must run faster. Otherwise, others will surpass me. I'm a little bit out of breath."

"At the age of 17, we all have our own secrets. We are trying to hide those secrets, but they are still going to be discovered. We are unwilling to admit those secrets, but the more we conceal them, the more conspicuous they become. We are very clear about those secrets, but eventually, we are still willing to turn them into memories. And these secrets that cannot be told, are found so similar to each other after a long time. It turns out they are all about unexpected feelings for someone."

Ep 08

"I've always been content with what I have and I'm in need of nothing. I can remember what I read and I'm surrounded by nice people. My life has always been smooth and I thought the life that had been planned was not bad for me. Just like a sailing ship, with enough food, I didn't look forward to rains and storms. I just wanted to follow the prescribed route and go back fo the safe zone of the harbor in the end. That was my perfect ending. But from the very beginning, you've been determined to brave the storm and to see the bigger world. Wind and rain can't knock you down and the waves can't overturn you. You've shown me a life course that's completely different from mine. So, since her dream is to explore this world, I just can't let her go through it alone. Zhu Jinxiao, I like you."

"At the age of 17, the first habit developed by boys is to hide their affections. They think that the probability is just 0.01, so they put on the emperor's new clothes, trying to hide their affections with magic. But affections are not that easy to hide. Even if the probability is pretty low, it will be revealed at a certain moment. So on that rainy night, while looking at her back, he found that the most obvious evidence of falling in love with her was the feeling of easement in his heart and the smile on his face when he looked at her."

Ep 09

"In the past, we always felt a year with 365 days was exceedingly long, but only when it comes to this moment do we understand that we become one year older all of a sudden. The significance of spending the Spring Festival, extending from ancient times to the present, is shining brightly like fireworks, giving us the courage to heal each other many times. And then we can have a new start. It doesn't matter that you can't eat steaming hot dishes. It doesn't matter that you perhaps don't know the secret hidden in the couplet. It doesn't matter that you listen to your grandma's nagging sometimes. Even if it takes too long on the way back, as long as there are people we care about, we won't be lonely. We will return to the home we are familiar with."

Ep 10

"Actually we never forget the happy hours with our parents in childhood. Maybe the so-called alienation is because we walk so fast while our parents are staying where they are. One meter, a hundred meters, a kilometer. The distance becomes farther and farther until we can't hear them calling us. That's why we mistakenly think love is silent. So while we are confused, our parents feel the same too. They are confused about how they can give us their deep love in a smart manner."

"Those who love hiding their feelings most in this world are fathers. They hide their inarticulate concerns in warm lights. In every precious certificate of merit, they put their unmentionable encouragement. Besides, there are many silent surprises they carefully arrange in every day when we are marching to the future. They firmly care about us with such silent fathers' love, and we firmly love them."

Ep 11

"We think that many things and many people in this world can wait til tomorrow. So when you pause it or when you turn around, you think that everything will still be the same tomorrow, or you won't even realize this hope in your mind, because you think tomorrow should be the same as today. And you think nothing will change as time flies by. But this time, the moment you let go and turned around, some things completely changed. The sun went down and before it rises again, some people will leave you forever. We always thought that there would be a big ceremony to say goodbye, so we keep waiting for a warm hug, a refreshing drink, and a heartfelt goodbye. But in the end, we realized that most goodbyes in our lives are all silent."

Ep 12

"At that silent corner in my mind, there are a number of weird illusions. For example, can I become Alice who enters the wonderland with White Rabbit? For example, can I become the little girl who enters the forest with Totoro? For example, is there some special switch in this box which can teleport me? No, none of them exist. There's no flying dragons or knights, and I'm not the heroine of some comics for girls, either. However, the only thing I'm sure about is that this escape greatly shocks my world. My palms would sweat, and my sight would be indistinct. Then my view becomes narrower and narrower until there's room for only one person in my eyes. After a long time, I know such a moment is named adventure, in which the one in your eyes is irreplaceable."

Ep 13

"In the summer of 2008, in retrospect, the most impressive thing may not be the world-famous Olympic Games, but the silly things we did because we were fearless. What is shining and unexpected is everything that is closely related to friendship. We wanted to pick the brightest stars and make the most beautiful wishes, so we became the bravest boys and girls. While crying and laughing, with the bond between each other, toward the most beautiful end of youth, we keep running all the way and never stop."

"The familiar chirping of cicadas on summer nights, the familiar bear doll who must lean by the lamb, the familiar lovely girl who frowns even when she sleeps, and the 17-year-old time wrapped by the sense of familiarity never seem to have changed. The only difference is that when I look at the familiar him, I feel a flurry and uneasiness that I have never expected."

Ep 14

"That night, it was the first time I found there's magic hidden in my mom's smile. Those feelings between adults and children which I thought are hard to express in words don't have to be spoken out. They can be understood through her smile. Indeed, adults don't often say I love you, and seldom say sorry. But it doesn't matter. Action speaks louder than explanation. There's no need to express deep feelings in words. If you stand there quietly, you can automatically receive all their love for you."

"There are many new days like today. Today, he holds my hand. Today, he holds me in his arms. Today, he carries me on his back and runs in the street in the early morning. Many days with him like today will eventually become my unforgettable past days. I'll remember days like today for a long time."

Ep 15

"In the last hundred days, I heard countless times "Hurry up to walk! Hurry up to eat! Hurry up to take the notes! And hurry up to go to the toilet." But it's strange. When you try to seize time by the forelock, it goes faster. Then after the exams, we graduated."

"I just want to be an ordinary person. I'll live on a small fruit stand in the future or continue your small shop, which makes me happy. This is life. It's my own choice and I will bear the results. Different people have different dreams. Let those extraordinary people be extraordinary. I just want to be a happy and ordinary person."

"Friendship means so much to us. It brings us close, and makes me flinch, so sometimes we just tell ourselves that as long as we're together, I can be just a friend of hers. But the taxi that I failed to catch, the phone calls that have been hung up, the time that's flying and my restless heart are telling me eagerly that in this world, both love and friendship are important. Every detail related to you is reminding me that we can't be just friends. So when it's still not too late, I have to tell you the things that I want to tell you as soon as possible. Huang Chengzi, I like you."

Ep 16

"In this world, it seems like all wishes have a guardian. Wishing wells, shooting stars, the aquarium's white whale. They're all hiding in the corners of the universe caressing the sorrow of loving someone alone. It's just that the god of happiness can't bless everyone out there. They let some people be happy and their wishes come true, and let some be sad, but they can't admit how sad they really are. The feeling of being in love is like a butterfly gently flapping its wings, that stirs up a hurricane in people's hearts. The second you realize it, then there's no escape."

"That's you when you're happy. And that's you when you're mad. Over there is the jealous you, and you when you're being naughty and pretending to cry. I was just going to draw one to start with, but every expression you have is floating around in my head, and I really love every single one of them."

"I've never been afraid of growing up. And I've never worried that growing up would be lonely. Not because I'm so strong, but because I have faith that I will never be alone. The guy who held my hand will continue to grow up closely together with me. The guy who's in my diary and I in his, will exchange even more secrets in the future. All of us have walked together through the years and will continue to walk together farther into the future. This world never lets lovely people down, and we are all lovely."

[danger-xylophones]

The Ice General (Captain Rex x reader)

mobile’s fucking with formatting, sorry.

The Ice General is a miniseries following the love story of our one and only Captain Rex and the elusive and confusing Jedi general Y/n L/n. Certain aspects of the character of the Ice General have been chosen by me, the author, as a way to keep my sanity intact. 

This is narrated primarily from Rex’s perspective but it will shift to yours now and again. 

Words: 2160 

Warnings: Mentions of injury but that is about it

{Masterlist}

Taglist: @tararuthven // @questforgalas

................................................................

Captain Rex once heard that clones take on the personalities of the Jedi they serve. Now, he wasn’t exactly sure that that was true but the clone captain did believe that certain traits previously dormant could be awakened or amplified if the general they served had similar traits. Case in point: Commander Cody. Rex had known Cody for a long time and as a result, was pretty familiar with the way his vod thought and acted. Cody had always been thoughtful and calculated with plenty of sarcasm and snippy remarks to spare but Rex noticed that his endless wit had seemed to expand upon serving under General Kenobi. The captain noticed it with Commander Wolffe as well though to a more subtle but still heartwarming extent as Wolffe had always been compassionate if a little closed off. His brothers’ changes often left the captain wondering what personality traits he had let show after serving with General Skywalker and Commander Tano. 

But, bearing all this in mind, that didn’t mean that Rex could always guess the personality of the general based on the personality of the commander. Such is the case with CC-4290, better known as Commander Fritz of the 205th battalion or the right-hand man of the infamous Ice General. 

The 501st was en route to a backwater planet named Elaroth, a dry and miserable mining world ripe for a droid factory if the Grand Army didn’t claim it first. And while the men of the 501st were buzzing with anticipation for meeting the almost legendary general of the 205th, Rex was a little nervous and his orders to keep chatter to a minimum did little to quell the enthusiasm in the air. The general of the 205th was an...interesting character, or so he had been told. In truth, Rex knew about as much about her as anyone of his brothers outside of the 205th-that is to say, he knew almost nothing. He knew that her name was Y/n L/n and that she was a human Jedi who studied under Ki-Adi Mundi for ten years before being knighted shortly before the war. He also knew that she was known for her eery calmness and the ability to see through bantha skrag faster than anyone Rex knew personally. And of course-her tactics. Strike hard, strike fast, and stay out of sight as much as possible-confusion and mystery were the friends of the 205th, how ironic that that would extend to their general as well.  

Rex was pulled from his quiet ponderings by the sound of loud, boisterous laughter emanating from next to him. Commander Fritz clad in his blacks and the bottom portion of his teal painted armor was nearly doubled over as he guffawed at some joke a shiny had made. His messy silver hair was in disarray (a constant; Rex was starting to think that it was just the way he styled it) and it had moved to the side to reveal a black tattoo that read ‘Freedom’ in Mando’a on the back of his neck. The captain of the 501st had noticed that most of the veterans of the 205th had the same tattoo but in different locations and it caused a certain unease to arise in his gut. All he could think of was the words of his brother Slick who had spoken about how the clones were just slaves with different titles: they had no freedom. The reminder of Slick only encouraged his wariness of the Ice general. Why would her men all have the same tattoo? Had they gotten it as a way to cope? Was she a monster in disguise?

No, she couldn’t be. Commander Fritz spoke of her with such rapport and admiration. But, admiration can be faked. Rex’s more cynical side countered. He could be court-martialed if someone found out he held any distaste for his general. But, maybe he truly adored her? He had to, especially if what he had seen earlier was a regular occurrence. 

When the 501st touched down, they weren’t expecting to immediately be caught up in a fire-fight (though with a man like Skywalker as their general, they were always itching for one) that had them racing to rendezvous with Y/n L/n and Commander Fritz where they were trapped in a ravine with a rock slide slowing their retreat and a droid battalion intent on wiping them out. One of the medics had informed Captain Rex that the Seppies had already gotten to the planet and had built a factory that was producing units faster than the 205th could cut them down. If they didn’t move quickly, they would all die. 

The 501st had made it (they were the best for a reason) and together the two battalions were able to push the droids back to a dried-up delta that afforded them the one thing the 205th needed to win; mobility. After that, it was only a matter of time before the droid factory was destroyed by a mixed force of 501st boys and 205th. Though, in the midst of it all, a tank had managed to take a shot at the Commander. It had launched him back and Rex couldn’t forget the way General L/n had sprinted away from Skywalker’s side to get to him. She hadn’t panicked, she hadn’t yelled for her felled commander, she just ran to him and took her spot over his body, deflecting blaster bolts, like it was routine till one of the field medics could get to the silver-haired ARC. Rex remembered how her jaw was set and how still her face was as her arms worked to swing her dual lightsabers. She had looked bored as she stood over the knocked out commander. 

And when Fritz had been dragged away, she surged to the front again as though her commander hadn’t been injured at all. It was perplexing. But Rex couldn’t erase the image of the Jedi standing over Fritz’s body, ready to protect it whether he was dead or alive. That was the evidence Rex held onto that contested his theory that Y/n L/n was one of those generals that didn’t care for her men. 

Commander Fritz had been alright, just knocked unconscious and a little banged up from the blast and now he sat next to Rex barking out loud peals of laughter and acting like he hadn’t broken two ribs. “Try-try telling that to Ice-I dare ya!” The silver-haired man choked out between chuckles, pointing a hand at the shiny that had spoken from across the fire they had made. Rex felt out of the loop as he glanced between the 205th-ers and his boys who were all sharing varying looks of amusement. What had the shiny said? 

“Try telling me what?” A cool, even voice cut through the laughter like a blaster bolt through a calm meadow. In his peripheral, Rex saw Jesse, Fives, Echo, and Kix stiffen up and snap their attention towards the sound. The men of the 205th, however, were far laxer in giving their general their attention (minus the shiny Fritz had been laughing at who had gone pale and stiff). Rex was struck with the realization that General L/n’s tone was no different than the tone she had used when explaining the best move Skywalker could make to help her over the comms. It was a little unnerving. 

Y/n L/n was unnerving. She stood beside slightly in front of Skywalker, perched on the edge of the firelight. The warm light kissed the apples of her cheeks but did not quite illuminate her face, leaving her appearance mostly to the imagination. She looked like the physical embodiment of a shadow, distant, amorphous, ambiguous. The only thing keying the men into the fact that she was a real person was the datapad held firmly in her left hand and the rim-lighting on the most dynamic parts of her face. Her eyes were sharp as she scanned over the men though the captain could not tell if she was disdainful of their conduct and lax postures. 

“I-uh…” The shiny began uncertainly, looking around to his brothers for help. The veterans were smirking down at the shiny, unwilling to aid him in his struggle while the other shinies looked ready to piss themselves. 

“Go on, Boom, tell the general what you were going to say when she got out of her meeting.” Fritz waved his hand to signal the shiny to continue while he sat back with a smug grin. Briefly, the commander’s elbow dug into Rex’s side as he whispered ‘watch this’ out of the corner of his mouth. 

Boom swallowed and carded a hand over his shaved head, unable to meet General L/n’s inquisitive gaze. “I...I was just…”

“Go on, Boom, I am eager to hear what has Fritz so amused.” Y/n encouraged in the same even tone though she had slightly cocked her head to the side. 

Boom muttered a string of curses in Mando’a under his breath before finally deciding that he wasn’t going to get out of this easily if at all. Still unable to meet the general’s eyes, he summoned whatever courage he had left to at least spare his dignity and spoke. “I was going to ask if you needed a seat, ‘cause I’ve got one right here for you.” And with that, Boom hesitantly patted his thigh. Tension started to descend over the gathered group of clones as Y/n mulled the pick-up line over that threatened to break as a result of Fritz’s barely contained giggles. 

Y/n stepped into the light and Rex swore he heard the shiny take a sharp intake of breath, apparently already resigned to his demise. Her face was stoic and entirely unreadable as she faced Boom and regarded him with a swift once over. “Earn some more nicks in your armor, shiny, then we’ll talk.” Fritz and the other veterans lost it. All doubled over in laughter and the softly spoken retort. One of them who sat closest to Boom clapped him on the shoulder, commending him for his moxie. Rex swore he saw Y/n’s lips quirk upward momentarily before she was turning to look at the boys of the 501st who all sat pensively, still more than a little unsure of her. 

Noticing the tension in them, she addressed Skywalker over her shoulder. “Skywalker, you didn’t tell me your men were so serious.” Was she teasing them? It was hard to tell. 

“Normally they’re not.” Anakin answered, slightly baffled as he walked around to plop down on Rex’s right. 

“I think you’re reputation proceeds you, Ice.” Fritz chimed in before anyone else could with a poorly hidden wince as he scooted away from Rex and gestured for Y/n to sit. 

“Careful with those ribs, commander, or Bolt’ll have my head-you weren’t supposed to leave the med tent.” Y/n scolded in her still unwavering tone as she looked down at the injured man. Fritz shrugged. 

“Eh, you’re the general, General, tell him to can it.” The commander simpered nonchalantly, leaning back on his hands. 

“Or, as your general, I could court-martial you for insubordination.” Rex stiffened up, would she really do that? 

“With all due respect, General, kriff you.” Fritz bit back with a grin a parsec wide. There was a horrified gasp from what Rex suspected was Echo and frantic muttering from some of the shinies. 

Y/n seemed unfazed though as she sat beside Fritz and began pouring over the datapad in her hands. “I mean, you could if you wanted to but I feel I should inform you that I prefer blonds.” 

“Damn, what are they up to now, Hyde?” A veteran whistled lowly, reaching around Kix to poke at his brother who was wedged between the medic and Jesse. 

“22 to 3, Ice’s winnin’.” The redhead answered back quickly. 

“They do this a lot?” Jesse gasped in disbelief, looking to Hyde as he dug a piece of flimsi out of his glove and used some ash to mark it before folding it away. 

“All the time. We didn’t start to keep track of who wins the sass-offs till recently though.” Hyde explained. 

“I find it relaxing and it makes sure I stay sharp.” General L/n chimed in once again, eyes fixed on Jesse. “I just realized I never asked your names.”

“Fives.” The man in question stated with a lopsided smile. “This is Echo, that’s Kix, and that’s Jesse.” He waved his hand around to each clone as he said their names. Y/n nodded and closed her eyes, muttering their names under her breath in a move Rex recognized as a way to memorize them. 

“It’s nice to meet all of you.” Suddenly, Y/n turned to Rex. “And it’s nice to see you when we’re not getting shot at, Captain Rex.” And Rex’s questions multiplied. 

Next ->

[theladyofdeath]

In the Bleak Midwinter {12}

A Throne of Glass Period AU: 1920s.

Summary: 2 years after Arobynn Hammel is killed by Rowan Whitethorn, Maeve has returned from Eyllwe with a vengeance. Meanwhile, Rowan is getting married, Lorcan is a father, and Lysandra is finally ready to give her heart away. There’s been peace in The Cadre’s Orynth for 2 years, but peace never lasts.

A/N: .......my finger slipped.

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

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The Cadre - 1920s AU {TOG}

In the Bleak Midwinter {The Cadre, Part 2}

The late afternoon sun was bright and warm, but even it did not erase the eeriness of the clearing on the outskirts of town as Rowan and the others waited in the woods, hidden by the thick line of trees.

Maeve’s men would be arriving any second, and although their plan was set, and Rowan was confident in it, it did not take away the bundle of nerves that settled in his stomach. They all remained quiet, not a  word uttered, as they waited. Rhoe had come, along with Dorian, Chaol, and Ren. Fenrys and Connall stood closest to the edge of the clearing, their eyes shooting in every direction, watching intently. Lorcan was leaning against the thick trunk of an oak tree, smoking a cigarette, lazily, as if nothing in the world bothered him at all. Gavriel, on the other hand, kept close to Aedion, not trusting that he had healed enough to be there.

Rowan ran through their plan, for the thousandth time, in his mind. 

It was pointless, though. In situations like this, things rarely went according to plan. 

As the sun began to sink behind the trees, a group of men stepped into the clearing. The six that appeared were only a handful of Maeve’s numbers, which meant the others were no doubt hiding behind the trees, just as Rhoe and his men were.

Nonetheless, Rowan gave a motion with his fingers and stepped out into the clearing, the rest of the Cadre behind him while the others stayed behind. It was strange walking without Vaughan. Even when Rowan was a kid, Vaughan had always been there, in the pack. They still stood their ground, though, Rowan and the other four who walked one step behind, Gavriel, Lorcan, Fenrys, and Connall. They were no doubt feeling Vaughan’s absence, too.

They didn’t walk far into the clearing, stopped a good distance away from their opponents, the long grass nearly up to their knees, no more than ten feet away from the tree line. Maeve’s men, led by Cairn, had done the same.

“I see my aunt still hides when the talking stops and the fighting begins,” Rowan said, hands at his side.

Cairn shrugged. “She’s too precious to be put on the front lines.”

Behind Rowan, Lorcan snorted. Rowan was tempted to do the same, but he only blinked before he said, “Very well. Let her know that her dear Vaughan woke up, will you? She always had eyes for him.”

Cairn’s jaw locked, meaning that Rowan’s suspicions were correct: Maeve had a horribly ugly way of making men fall for her and forcing them to become her bitches.

“Do you always talk so much in these sort of situations?” Cairn asked, cocking his head.

“I can go straight for my gun, if that’s what you prefer.” Rowan’s low voice drifted through the meadow.

He was greeted with silence.

Cairn did not speak, nor did the five others behind him. Rowan stared him down, unblinking, as Gavriel lazily reached for the gun beneath his jacket.

It was a sign.

The first move.

As soon as Gavriel took out his pistol, displayed the cool metal in the late afternoon sun, all weapons would be drawn, and the shooting would begin. Which is, surely, why Gavriel took his sweet, sweet time. Seconds passed as the silence ensued, as branches blowing in the soft breeze was all that could be heard. Rowan kept his eyes on Cairn’s, his jaw hard, his hands slack at his sides, long, scarred fingers brushing along the loose fabric of his trousers.

Then, Rowan’s right hand balled into a fist.

Just behind his right shoulder, Gavriel swiftly pulled out his gun.

Weapons were out and the first shot was fired. Gavriel, landing a bullet in the shoulder of a tall, young red-headed man behind Cairn.

Others were coming out across the clearing as a bullet whirred past Rowan’s ear. He muttered a curse and he took a step forward and reached down, into the long, swaying grass, where one of Arobynn Hammel’s stolen guns laid hidden.

The moment Rowan rose and took his aim, the other machine guns were being fired from his left, toward Maeve’s men, controlled by Rhoe, Aedion, Ren, Chaol, and Dorian.

It was perfect, glorious, an easy defeat as Maeve’s men began to fall. Another fifteen, at least, had come into the clearing from the woods behind Cairn and the others, and Rowan wasn’t sure how many more there were. The gun went off in his hands, shooting more rounds than any gun should be able to, but he wouldn’t complain.

It was them, or him.

Just when he thought it would be a quick, over and done with battle, a shadow flew over his head, and by the time he realized what it had been, it was too late.

An explosion went off, and he was thrown onto the ground. A ringing in his ears greeted him as his head hit the ground, broken by the softness of the grass, but he knew that Rhoe’s men were still shooting, that Maeve’s men were still falling. His body shook off the shock as he rose, running on pure adrenaline.

Rowan stumbled, trying to catch his balance as he aimed, once more, at the few that remained. Cairn had run, he’d noticed, as he started walking toward the others, firing away. Another shadow passed over them, and this time Rowan yelled, “Get down!”

He followed his own advice, falling between the high grass, hands over his head, face against the dirt. The second explosion was further than the first, and just when he was about to stand, yet again, the gunfire ceased.

Even Rhoe and the others beyond the trees. 

Rowan slowly pulled himself up on his feet to find himself in an empty clearing. Maeve’s men either laid dead in the grass or they had fled alongside Cairn. He waited a moment to be sure, scanned the treeline but found no one, nothing. Dropping the massive gun to his side, he slowly turned to face his men as blood trickled from a cut just above his eyebrow. He was unsure of how he’d gotten it, hadn’t even felt it happen.

The ringing in his ears remained as he turned to find Lorcan, sweating, his hair a mess, that cigarette still between his teeth, breathing heavily. Gavriel was alright, too, putting his pistols back into the twin holsters beneath his jacket. 

But it was Fenrys who caught Rowan’s attention, because he was looking around, frantically, eyes wide, chest heaving.

From his lips flew one word, one name, in a desperate scream. “Connall!”

“To your right!”

It was Dorian, jumping out from behind the clearing with a pointed finger. Fenrys didn’t hesitate, sprinting in the direction Havilliard had been pointing. The others were close behind, but Fenrys fell down into the grass, and a piercing cry filled the silence. 

Rowan came to an abrupt stop, nearly running into the back of Gavriel when he saw the crumpled up body Fenrys was covering with his own. Their faces were identical, but one was covered in tears, and the other was staring blankly up at the cloudless blue sky. 

~~~~~~~~

Aelin and Lysandra had been pacing for nearly an hour outside of the front doors of the estate. It was a perfect day, the sun shining brightly, even as it began to sink down beyond the distant hills. The cool breeze kept them from getting too warm. Even though the day was beautiful, it didn’t take away it’s horrid nature.

Aelin felt like she was going to puke.

There was a soft tap from one of the windows above them and Aelin spun around to find Vaughan sitting in the same chair she’d left him in, in the library just above the entrance. He met her gaze, then pointed.

“Ae,” Lysandra breathed.

Aelin’s gaze shot down the dirt drive, where she could see the trio of cars in the distance. As they grew nearer, Aelin’s heart raced faster. Lysandra was instantly at her side, holding her friend’s hand. Aelin gripped her fingers, the other hand resting protectively over her bump. 

It felt like an eternity as they watched the cars come closer, the two women standing together, holding their breath, clutching one another.

And then the cars were in front of them, stopping, neatly in a row. Rowan, Lorcan, and Gavriel got out of the first; her father, Chaol, and Dorian getting out of the second; and in the third, which the other men were hurrying to, Aedion stepped out, then Ren Allsbrook. 

Aelin knew something horrible had happened, knew something had gone wrong, as Fenrys stepped out, covered in bright red blood.

Lysandra tensed from beside her.

And behind her, the door flew open, and Vaughan, grunting and clutching his chest, stepped out into the daylight, bare-chested, barefoot. He stopped beside Aelin, watching in horror as Lorcan, Gavriel, and Rhoe lifted a disfigured body out of the backseat.

The look on Fenrys face could have shattered the world with just a glance.

Rowan turned, and Aelin met his gaze with a soft, brutal sob.

The leader of the Cadre looked utterly defeated as a tear slid down his dusty, bloodied cheek.

~~~~~

Maeve was sitting behind a grand oak desk as Cairn entered the room. His clothes were torn and blood-splattered. He shut the door behind him as she took in his appearance.

“You all are back sooner than I expected,” she said, after a moment.

Cairn’s shoulders tensed as he said, “They had fucking machine guns, Maeve, more so than we thought, you sent us into a bloody slaughter.” 

Maeve just shrugged a shoulder as she crossed her legs. “They called, we answered the call.”

“We lost over half our men,” Cairn snapped.

“And the grenades?” Maeve asked, her voice remaining light, curious.

“Used,” Cairn answered, plainly.

Maeve sat perfectly still, waiting for him to continue.

At last, Cairn went on. “We killed off one.”

A loud, short laugh broke free from Maeve as she rose to her feet. “One? Two fucking grenades, and you only killed one?”

Cairn said nothing.

“Pathetic,” Maeve spat. “Which?”

“One of the twins,” Cairn answered, shrugging. “We did what we could with what we had.”

Maeve looked at him for a long moment before taking a deep breath and falling back into her chair. “Yes, yes, of course, my dear. Do not worry, I have a plan. We will wait for their walls to fall down, and then we will strike. And when we do, he will have no choice but to surrender.”

The one, the only one that mattered, the murderer of her one true love.

Cairn opened his mouth, no doubt to ask a question, but Maeve held up her hand and shook her head. “Not yet, my dear. I’ll reveal my secrets in time, but not yet.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[dragonrajafanfiction]

Cassell Cynics: Part 5 (End...?)

OCs are @hectab ‘s . Dinnae Steal! :D that’s my job. :3c

Hana sprinted from Nathan’s dorm towards Guderian’s class room, full of desperation. She kicked off the silly heels Cassell forced her to wear and let the pavement pound through her bare feet. As she ran, she called the professor on her cell phone again and again, but he didn’t pick up. She imagined him teaching a class. She would disrupt it. She would get into trouble maybe she would be disciplined. But they were making a mistake! She had to get them to change their mind!

How come Fingel got to stay as rank F and Nathan was getting expelled as a Rank C? It wasn’t fair! Nathan had way more potential than Fingel and even if he didn’t do anything... why was his mental health not a concern to them? They were the ones who decided to keep him! This is partly their fault. But all Guderian regretted was not being able to refund his tuition! 

She took the twenty stairs up to the main teaching hall in a single bound. Her dark ponytail flying behind her. The doors were already propped open but no one was in the halls. She kept running, expecting resistance. But finding none at all. In fact, all the lights were off as if the classes were finished for the semester.

She dialed Guderian’s number again and it rang and rang. She could hear it ringing in the classroom ahead of her. How could he just ignore her calls like this!

Hana burst through the double doors into a classroom that was empty and dark.  The lights were out and the shades were drawn. The person standing at Guderian’s usual desk was Schneider! He was like a gargoyle in a dark trenchcoat. His sharp eyes glared from behind the half mask over his face. He was holding Guderian’s phone.

“You sent those texts?!” Hana gasped.

Strong arms seized Hana from either side of the doors and dragged her forward, pushing her into a chair in front of him. Hana was overtaken with confusion. “What’s happening? Where’s Professor Guderian?”

She looked up at either one of the people holding on to her. They were members of the Executive Board. Not students, full members!  “What’s going on? Where’s Nathan?”

“You’re too late. He’s already in with Toyama. His brainwashing has commenced.” Schneider said smoothly, setting the phone down. “And you will not be allowed to interfere.”

---

Nathan kept his head up high as he faced the psychologist Dr. Toyama. “It was a nice run.” He grinned. “Wish it could have lasted.”

Toyama, dressed in his usual brown tailored suit raised his eyebrows in surprise as he took a seat across from him. “You’re the cheeriest patient I’ve had the pleasure of working with.”

“Really? I’m guessing that they either don’t know what you really do or ... they’re here against their will. I’m neither of those things. I would have preferred to let my tuition run out first but... hey I get it. I’m not supposed to be here so... here we are!”

“Do you really not feel the Blood Cry at all?” Toyama asked. He picked up an iPad and started writing with a stylus.

“What difference does it make? I’m C-ranked. I don’t qualify for College. You don’t ask students if they feel the Blood Cry if they fail the 3E do you? You just kick them out.”

Toyama smiled, his eyes kind and gentle. “But you didn’t fail the 3E.”

Nathan gave a nervous laugh, his arms crossing over his chest. He glanced around and his eyes fell on hidden cameras very quickly. “You people were the ones who told me I got a C-rank. That’s a fail by your own rules. Why are you suddenly saying I didn’t fail. Did someone falsify my records?”

“I’m required to be present during the 3E. So I remember you. You were nervous but I remember you had a glimmer of excitement in your eyes. You didn’t seem to doubt yourself going in. But after the test was over...”

Nathan interrupted. “The 3E sucks. There are people who have to go to the hospital after! You’re there so they don’t blow their brains out after seeing their visions.”

“It only ‘sucks’ if they actually resonate...” Toyama said coldly.

Toyama sat in silence for several seconds and watched Nathan start to sweat. He rubbed his hands on his pants then suddenly relaxed. “Oh! I have my book with me. I figured I’d go for uh...Jason Bourne. You know, a secret spy who was ‘decomissioned’ by a black government program.” He opened to the correct page and showed it to Toyama. “Give me that memory please.”

Toyama took the notebook from him. There were over a hundred different scenarios of different reasons to explain the lost year from an erased memory, each one getting more and more elaborate as the time went on. But Toyama flipped to the first page.

“Hey! Don’t just go flipping through all of it!” Two members of the discipline committee caught Nathan before he could snatch the book back and restrained him back into the chair.

Toyama read out loud. “August 12th... isn’t that the first day you enrolled? That’s also the first day you wanted to leave.”

Nathan glowered as he was being strapped to the chair with belt like attachments. “Why do you care? Fine, you know what? I quit! I quit and I drop out. I drop out right now!”

“You wanted to leave immediately after the 3E. You could have dropped out then but you didn’t....” Toyama closed the book. “But now you’re suddenly eager to go. What changed?”

“I wanted to enjoy my time here... But you won’t let me...” Nathan snarled.

“We won’t let you enjoy your time? You’ve been here a year and have done nothing but break the rules without consequences.” Toyama said.

“Stop. Just stop! You want me... out there. Fighting in this stupid war! That’s why I’m here. If you really thought I was useless you would have kicked me out! Right?”

“Who wants you fighting in the war against dragons..?” Toyama asked slowly.

Like quicksand, Nathan felt like the more he talked, the deeper he sank. “Do you not hear me! I said I quit! I quit!” He roared louder and louder. “You can’t keep me here!”

“You feel the Blood Cry more strongly than you admit. If I erase your mind the consequences could be disastrous.”

“Why are you stalling? What did she tell you?!” He pulled against the restraints.

“Why don’t you let us help you?”

“I don’t WANT your help!”

Toyama stared in wonder. It wasn’t that he was angry or frustrated. This man was terrified. “Why are you so scared of staying here?”

-----

His brainwashing was already in progress? Hana felt like the wind was knocked out of her.

"No! You have to stop it!”  Maybe if she ran, she could make it! The sharp click of a gun was loud against her head when she tried to stand. Her eyes turned to the sound and she stared down the bottomless barrel of a pistol. “Are you going to shoot me? Why? What’s going on...” Her voice was shaking and betrayed.

Schneider expression was completely pitiless. He looked like the Phantom of the Opera as he set a stop watch on the desk. “You have 10 seconds to explain or our decision is final.” 

“9...8...7...”

“I...” She stared at it, mind racing. “I promised him that I wouldn't say anything about what we talked about... Please he’s my only friend!”

“6...5...4...”

“He won’t survive out there, I know he won’t! Just let him stay! He never caused any trouble!”

“3...2...1..”

“He quit the test on purpose!”

The stop watch beeped and Schneider silenced it with a gloved finger. Hana was still out of breath from running and now she was panting from terror. “Please, just let him stay.”

“The test. You mean the 3E? No one ‘quits’ the 3E, but you said he did.” Schneider kept his frigid stare on her. “He’s not C-ranked and you know it. Why did you lie and say he was?”

“I don’t know if I lied.” Hana’s heart had never beat faster. “I don’t want to lie.”

“But you did.” Schneider raised a single scarred eyebrow. “Which makes this all the more remarkable.”

Schneider walked around the desk and sat down, resting his elbows on the desktop and twining his fingers in front of his face. “You’re a good student. One of the best. What are you doing, Hana?”

“I don’t have anyone else here. I think he’s a good guy. We can be friends. I just want you to leave him alone.” She said.

Schneider waved his hand slightly and the two Executive Board agents turned and left, closing the door.

“EVA!” He raised his voice suddenly. “I need you to remove yourself from this room for the next ten minutes.”

A female voice acknowledged from the PA system. “For the next 10 minutes, I will have no access to this classroom..”

Schneider kept his piercing pale eyes on her. “Everything you say from here on out will be strictly confidential unless you repeat it to others. If anyone asks me, I’ll never tell what you say here today.” She kept a guarded look so he added. “I have many, many secrets I never tell anyone, Hana. You can tell me.”

In their chat over dinner, Nathan had kept asking her if she was on his side and she was. She really was. She didn’t believe he was really high on drugs when he told her about the 3E exam, the vision he had of the dragons’ true nature. But the excuse that he was high when he said those things was too perfect to resist. It was a ‘get out of jail free card’. She had thought that all she had to say was he was high and she wouldn’t lie to the professors and they would go back to ignoring him. But now she found herself in even deeper trouble, facing down the head of the Executive Department. The most dangerous man on Earth! “You really promise you won’t tell anyone else?” 

-----------------

“You risk your mental health if you continue on this path. It’s self destructive.” Toyama continued to try to reason with Nathan. “I just want to make sure you understand the great risk you’re taking and that your decision is not being made rashly.”

Nathan hung his head, as though he were being led to the gallows. "It’s not being made rashly. I know exactly what I’m doing. I know I could just... end up jumping off a bridge once my memories are gone. I’ve been preparing for it. Seeing what works. Marijuana helps a lot. But the problem is you build up a tolerance over time. Especially as a hybrid. Music, weed, regular sleep... it all helps take the edge off the Blood Cry. Alcohol makes it worse alone but with weed it’ll help you sleep.”

“You’ve been experimenting on yourself this whole time?” Toyama ran his fingers along his chin. “You really are serious. If that’s the case, you’re right that I can’t keep you. I just want to know why. Both professionally and personally. I’ve never met anyone like you in my entire career.”

Nathan kept his silence. He didn’t look at Toyama any more.

Toyama’s phone suddenly buzzed. “Excuse me.”

Nathan nodded without looking up.

Toyama stepped out. His voice sounded through the door. He was talking to someone for a very long time. The two disciplinary committee students were still there and he glanced up at one. “I’m sure you guys are curious too...?”

“Not really. I don’t care if you’re here or not.” The square jawed man looked down on him contemptuously. “Frankly, I wonder why they’re wasting time hesitating.”

Nathan laughed softly and looked down. So long as he insisted on leaving, they wouldn’t be able to hold him. This was the final push. No doubt they were trying to force him to stay for their own reasons. They knew he was hiding something precious and they didn’t want to let him go.

--------------------

Hana looked up at Schneider on the phone. 

“Cancel his expulsion.” Schneider said simply.

A pause. Schneider asked. “Did he say why?”

Another longer pause and Schneider licked his lips. “Have you tried to dissuade him?”

Another pause. “Alright. I’ll see what I can do.”

Schneider hung up. “Well, it appears your friend is determined to leave. Unless you could convince him to stay, Toyama has no choice but to wipe his mind. You said you’re his friend right? What do you think?” Schneider’s manner had completely changed. While he wasn’t a warm personality, that frigid atmosphere was gone.

“I don’t want him to go. I’m afraid at what might happen. But he doesn't believe in Cassell or the mission.”

“Toyama seems to feel nervous about wiping him as well but he has been unable to convince him to stay so far. Do you think you can?”

“Professor Schneider. When you look at me, do you think I could be someone who could actually kill a dragon given the opportunity? Please. Be honest.” Hana Sato asked.

The hiss of Schneider’s oxygen tank was audible in the silence, and it hissed 3 times before he finally answered. “When humans battle with dragons, our victory tends to be a pyrrhic victory.”

“What’s a pyrrhic victory?” She tilted her head.

Those light eyes sparkled and then softened into something akin to a great sadness. “A pyrrhic victory is when the cost of the victory is so great, it can be reasonably be called a defeat.”

Hana swallowed hard as another layer was peeled back and once again Nathan was revealed to be correct.

“Do you think the fight against dragons is unwinnable?” she asked.

“It’s not about winning or not winning.” Schneider said. “It’s about survival. If we don’t fight against the dragons, it will simply mean the certain end of all human society. If it is impossible, as he says, then I can understand why he would rather have no part of it. But I don’t share his hopelessness. I believe we can win. And even if it comes at the great cost of many lives, if it means the future of mankind, it will have been worth it.”

-------

Toyama returned to the room and shooed away the two disciplinary committee members. Once they were gone he said. “Your expulsion has been canceled.” 

Nathan let out a short laugh, sadness filling him. Hana must have talked. He supposed he couldn’t expect Hana to sacrifice herself for him. They hardly knew each other after all. “Oh really? Are they changing my rank too?”

“No one has said anything about that. To change your rank you will need to retake the 3E. Are you still going to drop out?”

“Yeah. Go ahead and do it. Sign whatever paperwork. Go ahead. I’m ready.”

“Now why are you upset?”

Nathan turned his head away. “I’m not.”

“You are. You were happy to leave at first. Now that I’m letting you go, you look terribly sad. Close to tears even”

“I’m sad because I don’t have any weed. Once I’m out of here, just make sure to stash my marijuana in my backpack. I’ll smoke and feel alright.”

Toyama paused to give him one more chance to think of a way out and when nothing was forthcoming, he unstrapped Nathan from the chair, unbuckling the restraints. “You said Jason Bourne? There were a few more pleasant scenarios in there. The last one was a artist running from the dictator in Korea.”

“I have no artistic talent. I was just spitballing.”

“Witness protection program?”

“Seems to require a lot of staff.” Nathan massaged his wrists.

“Plane crash coma victim?”

“Make it car crash and I think we have a winner.”

“Alright.”

A knock at the door surprised both of them. Toyama went to answer it. “You are just in time. We were about to start.”

“Hana?” Nathan was surprised, delighted and then wary to see his soon to be former fellow student. “What are you doing here? Here to say goodbye after ratting me out?”

Hana stood taller than Toyama. Her face was serene when she looked at him. “No.” She said. “I’m leaving too.”

------

Hana sighed. Her mind was a jumbled mix of thoughts. Her first question was where am I? Nothing came to mind for a split second, only for the thought to pop up unbidden.

She was at Cassell. Cassell... how did she get here?

Another brief silence from her mind and then an image appeared unbidden. She had been on an escort assignment. Everything seemed normal until they were on their way back and got T-boned by someone who red light. She didn’t remember anything after that.

She opened her eyes to the white hospital room.

Toyama was sitting next to her bed. “How are you feeling, Hana?”

“I’m fine... Nathan... Where’s Nathan?” She sat up and was suddenly assaulted by dizziness.

“Nathan is fine.” Toyama said, reaching out to steady her. “He’s where he usually is. You remember right?”

She smiled gently. “Yes. I remember. On the bench... smoking.”

[whereisthefood123]

With all my love, a letter for me and a gift for you

Pairing: Gajevy - Fairy Tail

Word count: 2.8k

A03//Ffnet

Gajevy week 2020 day 1 prompt: Letters

A/N: This is set during the GMG arc but has some time-skips to the past. Should be clear enough though. Everything between two hyphen (-) and italics is a letter. Things in italics are thoughts.

Welcome to gajevy week 2020! This is for the first day prompt: Letters! As usual, thanks so much to @ranunculusfox for beta my fic and being the best person I could ever wish to have as a friend ❤ Enjoy!

/////

Why did I do that?!

Levy's hand tangled in her unruly blue hair while the other one held for dear life to the doorknob of her room. As soon as the door clicked shut, she started pacing around the small space between her bed and bounced around her head while her heart pounded its way out of her chest.

I'm just making a big deal out of this. Nothing else. It's just silly. I'm being silly.

Right?

She stopped as she eyed the leftover red ribbon that sat on top of her desk. Earlier that morning, she had been so sure, so confident while preparing her special gift. Her cheeks were still sore from how widely she had been smiling just picturing the scene, the words her mouth would utter, the cheeky grin with a sharp fang that would surely be thrown her way after opening the package. And now…

"Ugh! How could I be so stupid?!" she flopped down onto her bed on her back, rubbing her palms over her eyes and down her face, trying to erase the memory, erase the flick of red eyes meeting hers, erase the lack of a grin, erase the echo of heavy footsteps getting farther away from her and leaving her hollow in a lonesome hallway.

She huffed defeatedly. Nothing she did was helping her feel any better. It only helped to make her feel worse. Levy looked back to the desk and next to the annoying little reminder of her impromptu gift, sat a blank piece of paper and an ink pen. She frowned but still got up from her bed. She sat down heavily on the desk, pushing away the red ribbon and getting a firm grab on her pen.

She started writing.

-Dear Levy,

What did you expect?! You knew this could happen! So stop sulking around like a schoolgirl with a crush!-

"I'm not sulking," she said out loud while puffing her cheeks.

Okay, yes, I'm sulking.

And though the reader might think that our lovely bookworm has officially lost her mind, this is not the case. No, Levy is just using one of Lucy's tricks when the celestial mage can't wrap her head around something in particular: she writes letters. To whom? Well, it varies from time to time. Sometimes, Lucy writes letters to her late parents, sometimes to her guildmates, and sometimes even to herself. Whether she ever keeps her letters or burns them, depends entirely on the timely visit of a particular hyperactive fire dragon-slayer.

But let's not get sidetracked, shall we?

Lucy's advice had come in handy for Levy as she had written several letters in the past year (not considering Tenrou's time skip) and it had proven to be a healing process for the solid-script mage. Maybe due to the nature of her magic, Levy's thoughts would always clear out once written on paper. No matter how turbulent her emotions were, she always found an answer on what to think or how to act after reading over her newest letter, tracing each scrip with ink-stained fingers, sometimes marvelling at how accurate her letters were able to give a physical form to her feelings and thoughts.

Her first letter had been written right after two new members had joined Fairy Tail. Same two mages who had waged a war against the same guild they were being welcomed to.

-Why would Master Makarov let them join Fairy Tail?! I mean, I'm not doubting Master, but… why? He knows what they did to us, what he did to me, Jet and Droy… so why?

And…

Why did he jump in front of Laxus lightning? To protect me? It couldn't be… he could have… pushed me aside for that.

But he was also holding back from Jet and Droy's attacks. What was all that about? What is he trying to accomplish?

Can he be… different? From the monster in the alley from back then?

No, that's just silly, right? Levy, you're being silly… There's no way Gajeel Redfox, iron dragon-slayer had a sudden change of heart, right?

Right…?

Then, why did he save me from Laxus...?-

Another one had been written after the announcement of the participants for the S-class trials.

-You go girl!

I'm so excited I got chosen to be on the s-class trials this year! Yay!

And even Cana and Lucy are going to be there! This is going to be amazing!

If I'm honest, I'm pretty nervous hehe. I don't know how well I'll be able to fight my way through the trials… I'm small and my magic is not... the strongest…

…

…

But it doesn't matter!

With Gajeel as my partner, I'm sure we'll do great! Well, that's what he said. He'll make me big, so I cannot give up without a fight!

Though it's pretty weird he volunteered to be my partner… It's probably just because he still holds a rivalry with Natsu. Such a dummy… but well, if he can help me get to S-class, I won't complain of him picking a fight with anyone else in Tenrou Island!

This time, I'll prove I can be strong as well!-

All of Levy's letters shared two characteristics. One, they were always addressed to herself. And two, she only wrote one when a certain iron dragon-slayer was involved. Though at the start Levy was oblivious to this last characteristic, she became aware that all her letters included him in some way or another, much to her embarrassment. And today was no different.

This morning, Levy had been eager to meet up with the iron dragon-slayer. She had managed to steal a moment with him right after the rambunctious dinner the guild had at the local bar.

It was day 3 of the Grand Magic Games and Levy had gathered the courage to approach Gajeel right before he headed back to his room. She stood straight meeting ruby eyes but soon she fidgeted under such strong gaze. She would have wrung her hands if they weren't occupied by the small gift that she hid behind her back.

"Ehm… Gajeel… uhm…"

"Oi, what is it, Shrimp?" His strong voice made her snap back to action and she shoved her gift forward.

"This is for you." She felt the blush form on her cheeks and heat up her entire body but she refused to flee. Still, this was too much for her and averted her eyes from his.

She felt the roughness of his fingertips when he grabbed the package, an involuntary shiver travelled down her spine. After some rustling of paper, she heard a sharp breath intake.

Are you surprised? Do you like it?

"Uhm…" Levy's voice returned to her but she kept her eyes fixed on her shoes. Her hands played with the edge of her sleeves now that they were free from the intense weight of the surprisingly light package. "I noticed that your hair kept falling on your eyes...d-during the race... So maybe this can help you. It's something small but I-" the words died on her mouth as she finally looked up.

Gajeel was looking at her with wide eyes and an unreadable expression settled on his face. His shoulders were tense as if he had been given an incredible burden he couldn't seem to wrap his head around, the headband Levy had just given him rested on his hand in a gentle grasp. The air around him crackled with anxiety. His eyes were piercing through her, observing her every move, every breath she took, as if he was gauging the moment with intense scrutiny. He looked like a cornered beast, instincts flaring to decide whether to run or fight. The presence of his breath was almost entirely concealed and the absence of his words was too loud to take any longer.

"Uhm… Gajeel, a-are you o-?"

"Ah." He averted his eyes for a second and when he looked back at her, there was a sudden firmness to his eyes. Cold as steel and impenetrable to any question that rested on Levy's tongue. An iron wall had been raised between them both, as high as the sky and as wide as the length of Earthland itself. And the foundation of the new impenetrable barrier was the silly headband that Levy had gifted him.

A gift that was supposed to bound his hair out of his face had severed the thread of their rare friendship instead. A gift that was soft and light had been the sharpest weapon that pulled them apart. Not the night terrors, not the remorse… a simple headband had been enough.

For all that Levy is a solid-script mage, she couldn't find her mind or mouth to form any words.

After another silent second, Gajeel nodded, all firm and distant. He turned around and resumed his walk back to his room, leaving Levy confused and, for some reason, cold in the empty hallway.

Yearning twisted her heart with every step he took until she couldn't take it anymore. But as much as her soul cried to follow him, to ask him what was wrong, to apologize if she had done something wrong, her feet refused to do so. Her entire body was all too aware of the iron wall that kept them at a distance. And no matter how bad it hurt, she tore her eyes from his retreating back. Step by step, she moved down the opposite side of the hallway until she found herself running in a mad sprint until she reached her room. Confusion and dejection muddled her mind and a gaping hole expanded in her chest where her heart used to be. Nothing made sense.

Absolutely nothing.

Did I fuck up somehow? It was a friendly gift, wasn't it? Did I offend him somehow?

Nothing of that interaction made sense, and if she knew Gajeel any less, she would have said that he looked… a little bit… scared.

But why?

Hence, Levy sat down at her desk to write herself a letter. To try to stitch back together the ravelling edges of her heart.

-Dear Levy,

What did you expect?! You knew this could happen! So stop sulking around like a schoolgirl with a crush! Not that you have one on him, right?

He's weird. And you know that. Better than anyone. Well, maybe not better than Juvia but you definitely know he's a bit weird and awkward.

But this? This is just… I don't know. I didn't expect this. I thought he would make fun of me, or maybe just give back the gift (wow that would have hurt more, huh?) or maybe say 'Thank you' (yeah, right, Gajeel Redfox saying 'thank you', don't think so).

Then, why does it hurt so much? Why does it hurt that he just… left and didn't say anything?

It was just a gift. As a friend! It didn't mean anything else… right?

Then, why do I feel like this? Could it be… Were you… Was I… expecting something else?

Why does everything always get so complicated when it's about Gajeel Redfox?! Why do I feel this way?!

Why?!-

Levy's pen lifted from its canvas just when the first tear threatened to spill from the mage's eye, but she refused to acknowledge it. She gritted her teeth and held her pen in a death-grip, close to crushing pressure.

"I- I…" she choked on a stubborn sob that escaped her lips. "I-" she tried again, growling in frustration at how her voice cracked. "He's an idiot and teases me nonstop. He's always looking for a fight and a big big dummy!"

"But I-," she heaved a breath, "I…" Her pen resumed her place on the parchment of paper.

-I love him.-

And somehow, those three words grounded her and made her soar to the higher skies. They felt so heavy she thought her tongue incapable of pronouncing them, yet she felt lighter reading them over and over again. Butterflies fluttered in her chest, filling the gaping hole that had formed in a hallway. New colours painted each memory with Gajeel and though she could still see the iron wall that separated them, built new not even an hour ago, she now had the strength and the courage to carve three words into the cool metal.

I love you.

As a solid-script mage, Levy knew how three words could transform into a powerful spell. But not these. Never these. Because she would never wield them to inflict harm, never use them to destroy the barrier in her way. No, Levy knew the carving of three words will not bring the wall between them down or even make it thinner. And she was fine with that. She was fine with the carving only existing on her side. Because, even if it was a one-sided love, for the first time in so long, Levy felt that everything was right. This love she held for him, so strong and sturdy, yet gentle and warm, filled her with peace.

I love you.

Her muddled thoughts and feelings finally cleared out. The ends of her heart pulled back together with stronger threads that mesh together with the absolute peace offered only by a love declaration letter.

She was in love with Gajeel Redfox. And she had been for some time now. That's why she always sought him out at the guild. Why she felt so at ease during the S-class trials with him as her partner. Why she worried each time he came back with a new set of scars.

He was the reason why she often wrote herself a new letter.

"I love him," she uttered in the quiet of the night and the loneliness of her room. The tears had finally fallen down her cheeks like thin slivers of a new-born creak.

A gentle smile spread over her face as Levy put her pen down. With a flick of her hands and a small script spell, her letter was stored with the rest of her letters, safely tucked away from prying eyes. She made her way to her bed and got under the covers. With another flick of her hand, the lights in the room switched off.

As she closed her eyes, only one thought crossed her mind.

She was in love with Gajeel Redfox. She was in love with a stupid big lug dragon-slayer, who always picks a fight with Natsu and acts so silly with Lily, who teases Levy non-stop about her height and then says she's amazing for decyphering some runes. This love, so strong yet so well-concealed behind a rare friendship, made her feel at ease for once in so long.

And though he might not feel the same way for her as he had no obligation to reciprocate her love, Levy decided that she could live with that. She could live with a one-sided love carved in metal. Because somehow, some way, this feeling, loving him, felt so right. As if her heart had been waiting so long to beat at the rhythm of those words. So, she will not stop. She will not run away from her own feelings anymore. She will face them head-on. She will welcome the pace her heart had set for herself, with all the bumps and hardships that it might bring. She will embrace it with open arms and paint the grey of the iron wall with the colours his presence has brought to her life.

Levy's breath evened out and she finally allowed sleep to take over her, the gentle smile never easing from her lips.

What she didn't expect but the avid reader must have guessed by now, is that the next night, Levy would be grabbing her ink pen again along with a new sheet of paper. Because on the morning of day 4 of the Grand Magic Games, Levy had been fully prepared to deal with her one-sided love, with the taste of bitter rejection in her mouth. But she had no strategy on how to think, feel or act when Gajeel Redfox came into the battle arena wearing the same headband she had given him the night before.

Her heart thudded loudly in her chest, deafening every sound around her. Electricity coursed through her veins at the meaning behind this scene. Her mind ran a mile a minute while her tongue rested unmoving in her drying mouth.

And right before the battle started, Levy's entire being froze when red eyes locked onto her hazel ones. Where coldness and harshness had been present the night before, the ruby of his eyes now held a new warmth and determination. An acknowledgement was settled in those eyes, a recognition of the meaning behind a simple piece of cloth, and, strangely, an apology entwined with a promise of something else, a promise that had nothing to do with the current battle, but everything to do with the future.

And well, let's just say that Levy's newest letter will not be too long as it would hold the exact length of three words.

-Could it be?-

Cracks had formed in the iron wall, letting a bright light shine through.

///////

A/N: Hope you enjoy the story! Leave your comments :) I'm also on twitter (@wtf123) and on the gajevy discord :) Happy gajevy week 2020 to everyone!

[justanotherfanfic]

P.S. I Love You

summary: reader fell hard for peter. wanda encourages the reader to confess her feelings to him before it’s too late. little do they know....

warning: SUPER ANGST

pairings: peter parker x reader / wanda x reader (platonic) / avengers x reader (platonic)

word count: 3.8k+

a/n: THIS IS SO SAD I’M SORRY ):

THIS WAS NOT your best day. Your school presentation was not what you hoped it would be, you embarrassed yourself in front of all your friends, training was a disaster, and to make it all worse, you just heard that your crush was falling for someone who was clearly not you. It felt like the day was just a slap in the face. You were overwhelmed with how terrible the day has been.

You let out a shaky breath as you continued to hit the punching bag. You knew this was the best way to release all your stress and anxiety so you have been doing this for the past few hours. The more you punched, the angrier you got. Tears started to fall, you didn't know why but it was kind of helping. You didn't notice how intense your punching had gotten before you were interrupted.

"[Y/N]?" A voice spoke out.

You didn't need to see his face in order to know it was your best friend. You quickly wiped your tears before Peter could see.

"Yes, Peter?" You whispered then continued to punch the bag. You did not want him to see you crying. If he saw you crying he'd insist on you telling him and that won't end well for you.

"What's wrong?" He questioned with concern as he stood next to you with sweat covering his shirtless body. You avoided eye contact, not wanting it to be harder on yourself.

"Nothing." You answered as you punched the bag. You noticed that you started to punch harder and pictured her as the bag.

"[Y/N]," Peter urged. He saw your facial expression, your puffy eyes and how exhausted you looked. "We both know there's something wrong. Please, tell me. We tell each other everything."

Not this time. You thought in your head. You didn't want to admit that you had feelings for him. Every time you saw his face you saw her. You hated it.

You were both interrupted by someone clearing their throat. You and Peter turned to see Wanda with her arms crossed in front of her chest. You dropped your hands, the two of you giving her full attention. She gave the two of you a quirked eyebrow, "I need to speak with [Y/N]."

You looked at Peter before grabbing your things. As you were about to leave you felt Peter grab your hand. "You know I care. I'll always be there for you," Peter whispered to you. "I'll be in my room if you want to talk." You stared at him, not knowing what to say. He sighed then let go of your hand and walked away.

You felt chills run down your spine as you then walked to Wanda's room. Before you could sit down you heard the door shut. You jumped in surprise then relaxed on her bed.

"So, did Steve talk to you about training me?" You asked as you started to play with a stress ball she had sitting to the side of her desk. Your eyes wandered around her room, taking in all her decorations and pictures she had hung up.

"No," Wanda started. "That's not what I wanted to talk about." She sat on the corner of her bed directly in front of you. Your knees were basically touching.

"Oh?" You questioned, your eyes now focused on her. "So, what's up?"

"I need to ask you a question and I need you to be completely honest with me. No questions, just answer." Wanda spoke sternly.

"Uhh... alright?" You whispered as your heart started to race. Every single bad thing you have ever done started popping up in your head. You stealing Vision's food for the past 2 weeks, you pranking Tony every other day, you hacking into Steve's computer and creating dating profiles, you talking to Thor about-

"Why haven't you told Peter about your feelings towards him?" Wanda finally asked.

This threw you off completely. You would like to say you were shocked, but at the same time you should've known, she has the ability to read minds. You mentally slapped yourself.

"Look, it's not as easy as it seems..." You blushed. "I don't know what traditions you had in Sokovia but here in America, girls don't really say they like someone unless they're willing to take the risk of being humiliated. Today has not been my day either so, I'd rather not."

Wanda smirked, "[Y/N], I think you should tell him. Trust me."

"No, no way." You shook your head as you stood up.

"You're going to regret it, [Y/N]." Wanda continued. "At least think about it."

"That's the thing! I don't want to! Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up." You started speaking. You then thought about it, the embarrassment it would bring. "I actually think I'm going to throw up..." You gripped your stomach and hunched over her desk.

Wanda laughed lightly at your hysteria, "[Y/N] you are young and have so much to look forward to. Take this risk!" That's the thing, Wanda knew it wasn't a risk. She can read Peter's mind and see how much he loves you.

"I-I can't," You stuttered as you violently clawed at the stress ball.

Wanda tried not to laugh, biting her lip before continuing, "What if you write how you feel about him on a piece of paper like if you're talking to him?"

"So, a love letter?" You questioned as you stopped squishing the ball to death.

Wanda shrugged, "If you want to call it that."

You gave her a look, "I don't know..."

Wanda adjusted herself to face you properly, "Just say everything, pour everything out."

You thought for a moment. Maybe you should, what could go wrong? You're just letting your feelings out so you don't burst out all your emotions at anyone's face.

You slowly nodded, "I guess it's not a bad idea..."

Before the conversation could continue, FRIDAY spoke into the room. "I apologize for interrupting your conversation with Miss [L/N]. Miss Maximoff, Rogers is urging an emergency mission. You will report to the hanger immediately. Miss [L/N] and Mr. Parker will remain at the base until further notice."

Wanda looked over at you as you stood up, "Look, I want you to know that it's fine to have feelings for someone. Please don't be ashamed of your feelings. Love is a beautiful thing, embrace it!"

You smiled weakly at her and nodded. Before you left the room, you looked back at her, "Good luck on the mission, I know you'll do amazing!" You encouraged. Wanda smiled and left the area while you walked to your room.

You looked around the room before deciding to start on the letter. It's the least you can do for Wanda. You didn't know why she was urging you to express your feelings so badly, but you assumed she just wanted to have some sort of entertainment out of this. You shook your head before you started writing.

"Dear Pete," You wrote down. You shook your head and erased the two words. Too cliché. "Hey! Peter...." No. "Heeey!" Ew, no. "Penis Parker!" Ugh, he'd hate it. The eraser was your new best friend. The shards of that pink rubber were scattered all over your desk. "Yo, Peter..." NO! You sighed in frustration and laid your head down.

Focus, [Y/N]! You thought. Gather your thoughts together and relax.

You exhaled deeply as you thought about the times you spent with Peter. From the day you met, til now. You felt your heart flutter and your face flush. Wow, you really were falling for him. You were falling hard. Gosh, you hoped this would help. You opened your eyes and got a new paper. You felt your hands moving, letting your heart do the talking. It was as if it was perfect timing when FRIDAY began to speak after you closed off the letter.

"Mr. Stark is requesting you and Mr. Parker to immediately leave the base and assist the team for back up," FRIDAY spoke. You nodded to yourself and quickly started to change into your suit. Before you left, you saw the letter was still on your desk. You snatched it and shoved it into your suit before leaving.

The mission was rough. The team anticipated the HYDRA base would be smaller and contain only a few agents. Little did they know that the remainder of their base was underground. In other words, it was their second biggest base.

"Fall back!" Steve called into the comms. It was getting too chaotic. Even with you and Peter as backups, it wasn't enough.

You were all heading back when you heard Steve shout in pain. Everyone didn't notice and tried to adjust themselves in the jet. You looked out to see Steve hiding behind a bin. He was wounded, bleeding from being shot at.

"I'm going back for Steve!" You called out to the team.

"[Y/N] no!" Tony rejected.

"[Y/N] STOP!" Peter called out.

You sprinted out the Quinjet without a second thought. You went back to where Steve was last seen. Unfortunately, he wasn't there. You quickly scanned the area and found him hiding behind a tree. You sprinted as you dodged the bullets flying at you. You threw yourself to the ground and saw Steve staring at you with wide eyes.

"You should've stayed on the ship," Steve grunted.

You gave out a laugh, "And let our captain get captured by HYDRA? I don't think that will be a fun reunion."

Steve laughed before allowing you to help him up. He let some of his weight onto you but knew your body wouldn't be able to handle all of his weight so he attempted to keep most of his weight to himself.

You struggled as you tried to balance his weight onto you as bullets were raining down on the two of you. Thankfully, Steve's shield took the hits. You both struggled while getting closer to the ship. The team urged the two of you to pick up the pace as the ship began to get ready to leave.

Just as you were about to step foot on the platform, you felt a sharp pain shooting up your spin. You gasped in shock and felt your body go weak. You fell to the floor, along with Steve who was leaning against you.

"[Y/N]!" Peter cried out as the team was quick to bring the two of you into the ship and take off.

You struggled to breathe as you felt the unbearable pain all around your body. Peter pulled you deeper into the ship as everyone was scattered around.

"No no no!" Peter cried as the team tried to help you and Steve. Tony was by your side and pressed down on your wound to prevent it from bleeding out. You screeched in pain as you now began choking on the blood coming out of your mouth.

Peter began sobbing as Bruce tried his best to treat your bullet wound. Steve was fine by the time Bruce began to do an emergency surgery with the tools on the ship. Natasha was pulling her hair in anxiety as Clint set the jet to autopilot. Tony pulled Peter into his chest as Peter still held a tight grip on your hand.

"You're going to be fine!" Bruce assured as he shakily tried pulling out the bullet from your body. "Focus on Peter!"

You cried as you felt the sharp pain shooting up your spine once again. More blood began to leave your wound making the team freak out. Peter was now cupping both of your cheeks, his face near yours, "[Y/N] look at me! Yes! You're doing great, just look at me okay? We're going to be okay."

"I need bandages and towels!" You heard Bruce shout. Everyone scrambled to their feet and tried to collect anything that could help. You knew the wound had damaged something inside of you. You were all hours away from the base, you weren't going to make it. You accepted your fate.

You stared into Peter's eyes. The same beautiful eyes you met all those months ago. The same eyes you fell in love with. The same eyes you dreamed about every night. You almost forgot how magical they were. It was as if you were being hypnotized.

You panted as you looked up at Peter. Your eyes never breaking eye contact. Your hands shook as you reached for the letter in your suit. A bloodstained paper was firm in your hands as you gave it to Peter. He held onto your hand and paper. Tears fell down his face as he shook his head.

"I I-I'm sorry," You whispered.

With that, you took your last breath. Your eyes drifted off as the team stared in horror.

"No no no!" Peter shouted. "[Y/N] open your eyes! Love, open your eyes!"

He pulled your bloody, wounded body onto his lap as he shook you. With every shake, he hoped you would miraculously wake up. Peter shouted in agony when he realized you weren't going to wake up. He lost one of the only people he truly cared for. He would never get you back. He shouted in pain as the team looked away in shame as their tears fell down their faces. Peter sobbed into your lifeless body as the team silently reflected on what just happened for the rest of the trip back to the base.

Hours went by and the team was back at the base. Workers from the infirmary tried grabbing your body from Peter's grip.

"N-No!" Peter cried as he tried to pull you closer to him.

"Peter, please..." Tony whispered as he slowly released Peter's grip from you. The workers grabbed your body from him and placed you on the table that would wheel you out.

"I'm sorry kid," Tony whispered as he had tears fall down. Peter stared at your pale, lifeless body. He didn't know what to do. It was as if there were no tears left to cry. Your body was taken to the morgue as the team stared in silence. A few moments passed when Peter silently left the area. The team stared at him in sorrow. They knew he was broken.

Peter clung onto the paper in his hand and stared down at it as he maneuvered his way to his room on the residential level. He was terrified to open it. There were endless possibilities of what that paper held. His mind rambled on as he stood at the door to his room.

"Password?" FRIDAY spoke out.

Peter froze. He felt his body tense up as his mind went blank. Peter's lips trembled as his breath shook, he was silent for a while. He couldn't say it.

"Password?" FRIDAY repeated.

Peter choked out a sob,"[Y- [Y/N]." He leaned his forehead against the door as he cried.

"Password accepted," FRIDAY responded. A click flickered and the door was open.

Peter closed the door behind him and finally threw himself on his bed. He allowed himself to fully release all the emotions his body was going through. Anger. Fear. Anxiety. Sorrow. Grief. Love. It felt like hours before he decided to calm down. He silently leaned against the frame of his head and stared out the window.

Wanda quietly walked into his room. She took in the scene and felt her mind going crazy with the emotions and thoughts running through Peter's head. Peter was staring out the window silently, eyes puffy and his chest shaking lightly from the lack of oxygen he received from sobbing a moment ago. No one knew what to say to Peter so they sent Wanda to check up on him. Since she can read minds, it would help her take the right steps on what to say.

"Hey..." Wanda whispered.

Peter looked up at her, his eyes drooping with pain. He turned around again and stared out the window, the letter in his tight grip. He still hasn't opened the letter, he wanted to hold onto a piece of you for as long as he could.

"Have you read it yet?" Wanda finally spoke.

Peter lightly shook his head.

"I think you should read it." She urged.

Peter felt tears falling, "This is the last thing she gave me. The last piece of her. She died while giving it to me. I don't think I can handle reading it, not yet."

Wanda sighed, "She had a purpose for it, Peter. Trust me."

He didn't respond, instead, he continued to stare out the window. Wanda exhaled deeply and sat on the bed with Peter. She was going to stay with Peter the whole day to make sure he was safe. She also wanted to make sure he would be fine after reading what was in that letter.

After a few hours, he finally had the courage of opening the letter. He looked at the letter in hesitation. Wanda peered up at him and waited. He sighed before opening the envelope and seeing the folded paper.

He teared up seeing your beautiful handwriting covering the entire page. Your perfume illuminated from the paper. It was as if you were still there. Peter felt his hands shake as he fixed his eyes onto the letter. He took a deep breath before starting to read.

Peter,

The first time we spoke was when you asked me where the training room was. I remember laughing because you looked lost. It was adorable. You were so confused by all the levels and would silently freak out when we would pass by any of the team members. I smiled as I gave you a tour of the base, showing you all the short cuts and the best hideouts whenever we needed time alone. It was honestly the best day of my life. You were so shy but I knew that we were going to be best friends. I felt the connection from that day.

  The second time we spoke was when Tony assigned us to train together later that week. I remember walking into the training room to see you starstruck at Natasha. You wouldn't stop stuttering! It was the funniest thing to happen, especially when she tackled you on the mat. Unfortunately, you got hurt and I had to take you to the infirmary. The whole way there, I couldn't stop staring at you. The way your eyes wandered around the base and observed all the things we passed by. You looked beautiful, I knew that I was falling for you. Even as you were getting your arm brace, the small smile you gave me made my heart flip. Who was I to let Peter Parker steal my heart? I don't regret it one bit.

When we went for our mission, we were already hanging out for a while. We were both terrified. Your hands were shaking. It was our first mission with The Avengers. I stared at your hands, the way you gripped onto your suit, your knuckles were as white as a snowflake. I wanted to hold them. I wanted to tell you that everything was going to be fine. I chose not to. Instead, I called you a snowflake to help you ease your nerves. You smiled at the nickname. That damn smile. That smile healed my nerves as if we were on any other mission.

  After that day, we started talking more than before. That mission helped us connect better. The team was happy we were getting along so well, little did they know was how hard I was falling for you. We had more missions together. We were technically forced to talk to each other by the team but it didn't feel that way. It felt like home. As weird as it sounded, I knew you were meant to be in my life. It was no coincidence.

Since that time, I started caring for you more than I did for myself. It was different. Even now, as I'm writing this my heart is flipping out of its chest. Do you see how in love I am with you? I felt like we were meant to be something more than just friends. That's the sad part, I knew there would be nothing else. I know you only want to be friends. This letter is only to help me release my feelings, to help me release the tension. Even today at the training room, I know you saw me crying. I was crying for you, Peter. Don't feel bad, now. I was crying because I know you have feelings for her. Yes, her. Don't worry. I'll always be there for you, no matter what. Peter Parker understand that I will never leave your side.

  If you're reading this, that means I suddenly had the courage to show how I truly felt. That, or something bad happened. I don't know what it is but I'm sure it was for the best. I hope this letter finds you well.

P.S. I love you Peter Parker

- [Y/N]

A cry escaped Peter's lips. He pulled the letter to his chest as he sobbed into his room. Wanda gave him a pained smile as she pulled him into her chest, stroking his hair. She waited as she felt Peter's mind racing. He continued crying and sobbing as he thought about all the moments you two had. How it was all being ripped away from him.

"She loved you, Peter," Wanda finally spoke. "Don't blame yourself for a decision she made."

Peter shook his head and felt tears falling down his cheeks, "Why didn't she tell me?"

"She was scared of your rejection." Wanda sighed.

He cried, he never felt so guilty in his entire life. He looked up at Wanda, "That's the thing. I loved her. I was head over heels for her. From the day we met, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I-I was just too scared to admit it..."

"I know," Wanda sighed. "That's why I wanted her to write you this letter. I was planning on giving it to you at the end of the day. I was hoping you two would realize your feelings for one another."

Peter covered his face and began to sob uncontrollably. Wanda sighed in sorrow, she knew exactly what Peter was feeling. Peter continued to cry at the thought of you. He knew he can't have you. He will never have you. Everything he loves always dies, he just never thought it would be you too. He fell hard for you and you never even knew.

[niksixx]

Axed 7

Finally!! We have reached the heart wrenching last part of my mini series. I can’t believe how far this little story has come and I am so glad you have enjoyed it and continued to want more. So...who will Y/N choose, Axl or Nikki?

Requested: Yes!

Pairing: The Dirt! Nikki Sixx/Axl Rose x Reader

Description: The long awaited part 7😭

Warning: Heartbreak, tears, uncontrollable waves of emotions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Don’t let her fill your head with lies.”

“I love you. I love you.”

“I had no damn choice, Y/N. I wanted a family.”

A lightning strike hit the patch of grass beside the bench you sat on, jerking you out of the thoughts you were slowly drowning in. The rain was harsh, drenching you from head to toe, but somehow the flood of tears falling from your eyes outdid the natural storm.

Love wasn’t supposed to be hard. How difficult was it to be truthful? Honest? Love wasn’t supposed to drain you, exhaust you. But here you were at eleven at night, sobbing on a park bench in a thunderstorm, just utterly…tired.

You needed the truth. The most dangerous place to be was inside your own head, and for the sake of your sanity, you had to know the truth. No matter how much it killed you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your head spun during the whole drive to Sheila’s. From the park all the way to her apartment, your mind raced with thoughts. Was she lying? Was Axl? Could you trust anyone?

The lights in Sheila’s apartment were shut off, but luckily her car was parked on the side of the street. Throwing up your hood, you stepped into the rain and sprinted over to the door. You knocked twice before the door swung open, revealing a started Sheila in a towel.

“Y/N?” She asked hesitantly, eyes wide. “W-What are you…it’s late. Why are you here?”

“Let me in first, I’m soaked,” you said, squeezing by your cousin. She shut the door, frantically looking around the apartment.

“You cannot be here right now,” Sheila insisted with a shake of her head. “I-I’m not feeling well. I was just about to get a shower.”

“You’re my cousin, Sheil,” you said, a tear streaking your cheek. “And we have been through so much shit emotionally.”

“Y/N, please,” Sheila said, biting her lip.

“I just want the truth, once and for all,” you whispered, stepping toward your cousin. “Does Axl…does he love me or not? Is this all a game?”

Sheila’s breath quickened as she nodded quickly. “Yes, yes he loves you, now please you have got to--.”

“Ready for round two, gorgeous?”

The sound of your fiancé’s voice split your heart in half. Turning slowly, your eyes connected with Axl, standing naked in all his glory. The sob that left your lips ripped through your body as you covered your mouth, unable to contain the cry any longer. You looked between Sheila and Axl, praying they could see the devastation in your eyes.

“Y/N…” Axl whispered, eyes the size of quarters.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you muttered, “Open your whore mouth.”

“Y/N,” Sheila began, a few tears of her own slipping down her pink cheeks.

“You too, you stupid bitch,” Venom dripped from your voice. “Part of me prays to fucking God that I’m dreaming, but the rational piece of me knows that my eyes aren’t deceiving me.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Sheila whispered, flinching when you screamed.

“Then why did it?!” Heat burned your skin. “How the fuck did my fiancé end up in your fucking apartment, Sheila, hm?”

“I came over to talk to her,” Axl answered, glancing at you sadly. “Don’t…don’t blame Sheila. I, um, I actually came over to talk to her about you. About a lot of things. And um, I think now would probably be the time to come clean.”

“How fucking generous of you, Axl Rose,” you laughed darkly.

Axl’s face hardened. “I…I never did love you, Y/N. I never planned on going through with the wedding, either. In the beginning, this whole thing was to hurt Sheila. I spent years with pent up anger and hatred inside of me. The only way I knew I could hurt her was if I involved the most important person in her life…you.”

“You were just collateral damage, Y/N. And I’m so, so, so incredibly sorry for everything. I used your infatuation with me against you. I knew you’d be easy to manipulate and I…I just did it.”

The knife in your heart was stabbing, releasing, and stabbing you all over again. The pain became unbearable, the tears uncontrollable.

“It was only tonight that I realized how poorly I treated Sheila,” Axl breathed, tears glistening in his eyes. “I should’ve never left her. She needed me and I failed her completely. You were right, tonight. There are other ways to have a family. I was blinded with rage and I acted before thinking. I know that you will never forgive me for what I’ve done, but I just had to tell you the truth, once and for all.”

Everything was a lie. Every single moment of your relationship with Axl had been a lie, based on anger and revenge. And even if you were in pain from his lies, the betrayal from Sheila, your own flesh and blood, was intolerable.

Sucking in a breath, you took a step back, hand going to the ring on your finger. “You really had me fooled. Congratulations. You both,” Sliding the ring off your finger, you slammed it down on the table. “Have lost me forever.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You drove and drove and drove until you couldn’t anymore. The ache in your chest grew as Axl’s words replayed in your head. It was a game. And you had fallen completely into his trap. And because you’d been so naïve and selfish, you lost the one man that would’ve given you the world.

Standing just two feet away from Nikki’s apartment door, you chewed your lip anxiously. You’d knocked four times and he still hadn’t answered. You knew he was home because even at two in the morning, you could hear his bass coming from the living room.

Knocking once more, you waited patiently. When he didn’t answer, you turned your back sadly, fresh tears springing to your eyes just as more rain began to fall.

“Y/N?”

Your neck snapped quickly around at the sound of Nikki’s gravelly voice. He stood in the doorway, bass in hand, eyes expanding as he realized it really was you.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” you wept, hand covering your mouth. “I’m so sorry, I just--.”

“Shhh, come inside,” Nikki whispered, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. He guided you into his house, closing the door behind him. In the light, Nikki could fully make out your features, and his heart split as he drank in the sight of your tired eyes and mascara stained cheeks.

“Let’s get you some clothes, hm?”

You let Nikki lead you to his room, rocking back on your heels as he rummaged through his drawers before handing you a warm pair of clothes. You stripped out of your clothes immediately, blushing as Nikki’s wandering eyes travelled the length of your body.

“You’re shivering,” Nikki commented as you pulled on his shirt. “I’ll make you some tea. Two scoops of sugar, right?”

You nodded, a tiny smile tilting upward. He remembered.

Once seated at the table, tea in front of you, Nikki across, the tears flowed freely again. “Axl cheated on me with Sheila.”

Nikki’s face hardened. “I was wondering why you weren’t wearing the ring.”

“I should’ve never trusted him,” you muttered, tapping the mug with your nails. Glancing up, you bit your lip hesitantly. “Nikki, I am so…so sorry. For everything.”

He nodded, crossing his arms. “I know, love. I know.”

Strands of wet hair fell in your eyes as you shook your head. “No, please, you don’t know. I have been so incredibly selfish, Nikki. I loved you more than my own life, and because I loved you, I should have waited. I loved you so much that I pictured our life together in my head and it was beautiful. Perfect. Everything I ever wanted. But I knew you weren’t ready for such a big step, and when Axl kissed me I thought what I felt for him was love but it wasn’t. What I felt and still feel for you now is love, Nikki Sixx, and if you take me back and accept me and all of my imperfections, I will spend the rest of our lives making it up to you and loving you how you deserve to be loved.”

“Y/N,” Nikki said, eyes softening.

“I know I can’t erase what happened between us,” you continued, brushing the tears from your eyes. “And I know I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness. You went through hell because of me, almost losing your life because of the pain I caused, and I will never forgive myself for that. But I love you and I need you in my life because for two years, you have shown me love and happiness even when I didn’t think I deserved it. And right now, I still don’t.”

“Enough of that,” Nikki said, shaking his head. “You deserve love. You deserve to be happy,” Nikki took a breath, leaning back in his chair. “But I won’t lie to you, Y/N. You hurt me. You hurt me more than anyone in this world, my own family included.”

“I know,” you cried. “Gosh, I know.” He wasn’t going to forgive you. There was no light in his eyes, no smile on his face. Nikki was hurting still, and you were the sole source of that pain. “I was wrong to come, tonight. I’m sorry. I’ll let myself out.” Pushing away from the table, you stood and headed for the door, Nikki’s warm fingers wrapping around your wrist.

“But,” he said, a smile spreading across his face. “That doesn’t mean I’m not willing to work on things with you.”

Throwing your arms around his neck, you sank happily into his embrace, burying your face in the crook of his neck. His arms went around your waist, pulling you tight against him. And by that simple gesture, you knew he’d forgiven you.

“I love you,” you murmured, kissing the side of his head. “I love you so much, Nikki Sixx.”

Setting you down, Nikki lightly kissed your nose. “Wait here.” He disappeared into his room briefly before coming out again, the smile on his face growing wider.

And if you thought you were out of tears already, the sight of Nikki bending down on his knee was enough to bring more tears to the corners of your eyes as he pulled a ring box from his pocket. “We have a lot to work on. Together. But if I had to go through hell and back with anyone in this world, I’d choose you. I will always choose you.” He opened the box and took the ring out for you to see. The dainty ring was the complete opposite of the gaudy ring Axl had picked out for you, but then again, Nikki knew you. This ring was exactly what you wanted all along. “Marry me, Y/N. Let me be your husband, the father of your children, the man of your dreams, and everything in between.”

And you couldn’t have said yes any faster.

[loki-and-cuddles]

Your Loki

Pairing: Loki x reader

Genre: Angst but also fluff

Warnings: Very light mention of a food disorder, some self-doubt

Summary: Loki doesn’t think he deserves you. 

A/N: My very first posted story, I’m very excited but VERY nervous. This was inspired by the songs: Alejate de mi by Camila and Estoy Enamorado by Thalia and Pedro Capo (words in italics are the songs). Also, English is not my first language, so apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

-

He was acting different. All week he had been too busy to spend time with you. He no longer invited you to sleep in his room, or spend time in yours. He was kissing you less, hugging you less, and avoiding contact in general. You felt lonely and frustrated, but most of all scared. Had he changed his mind, did he no longer desire you, was a mortal not good enough. Of course not, how could you ever think you’d be good enough for a god, a prince, a king. You hadn’t slept well in the last week and it was beginning to show. The bags under your eyes were now slightly purple, your complexion was pale and no longer had it’s usual flush, and you were constantly zoning out, no longer paying attention to anything going on around you.

At first no one really noticed, you had always been shy and quiet. The first to notice was Nat, you would only smile to her good morning and hellos, and would no longer sit with her and Rogers to listen to their stories. Tony noticed when you stopped making sassy comebacks to his teasing, you were quiet, but had an attitude. It was after Tony noticed that they decided to corner you in the common room, asking what was going on.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Do you need to see a doctor?”

“You know I can afford one”

“You just have to ask”

“Are you doing it again”

“You said you had stopped”

“Did Loki cause you to start again”

“No!” You took a deep breath and lowered your voice. “No, stop. I’m eating just fine.”

“Then what’s wrong?” You were looking at the ground, but looked up when Nat asked. Scanning the room, you felt tiny surrounded by such intense and powerful people. There was one missing. Loki.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You ran out of the room before they could say anything else or stop you.

You wanted to go to Loki’s room. You wanted to talk to him. Figure out what was wrong. But the idea of being told that you weren’t enough to your face, by the person you loved the most was too scary. So you headed to your room, sleeping to avoid your problems, had always worked. Somewhat.

There on your bed you found a single green rose with a note. All your fears were confirmed. If he had to leave a note instead of talking to you, it was bad. And bad meant he didn’t want you anymore. Sitting on the edge of the bed you debated on whether to open it or not. It would be devastating to see that you weren’t enough in Loki’s words. Those words would be burned into your mind for the rest of your life. But could you live without knowing what he had written for you? No, definitely not.

You slid your finger under the flap of the envelope and ripped it open. The note inside has perfect handwriting, not surprising. The ink was black, but had a glimmer to it. Your name looked beautiful at the top of the paper. Your vision blurred with tears in your eyes, you were gonna miss the sound of your name when he said it. His low husky voice that made your knees weak. The way his chest vibrated against you, his breath on your neck. You loved hearing his voice before falling asleep. Sometimes it was the only thing that put you to sleep, calming your racing thoughts before bed.

Blinking away the tears, you forced yourself to look down from your name, and read the rest of the note.

You need to get away from me, do it soon before I lie to you. Your skies turn grey, I now walk under the storm. Escape, leave. I shouldn’t see you any longer. Understand that even though I ask you to leave I don’t want to lose you. The light is no longer enough. You don’t want to walk on pain, barefoot. I know you’re still on time, I’m not who you really think I am. I didn’t fall from heaven. If you still don’t believe me, and wish to take the risk, you’ll see that I only deceive and cause harm and cause tears. Who else do I love? You know well I don’t deserve you, and I wish I could regret it and not tell you this. But an angel watches over you, and gave me the truth, so that I could show you the way out.

Tears were streaming down your face. He hadn’t signed it, it just ended there. Abruptly, much like you and him. How were you supposed to get away from him, if he gave you the reasons to live. Showed you the beauty in life. The many things that were worth living for, sitting right in front of you. He helped you see them. Yes, he has lied, and harmed others. But everyone does. And you were evidence that that’s not the only thing he was capable of.

None of this made sense, There was no way either of you could leave each other. You were stuck here. The tower was your only home. He was stuck here, on house arrest. He was to stay in the tower or go back to the dungeons of Asgard. Oh God-

You ran out of your room without a second thought and sprinted to Loki’s room. Not waiting to knock, you burst in, your breath raged from running. His room was empty. Everything was back to how it was before he moved in. A generic room, like any other in the building, for any other person to occupy. It was too late, he didn’t let you choose. He chose for you, and left. Your breathing started to pick up even more.

“No,” you whispered.

It was then that Loki walked out from the bathroom. He was wearing his leather attire, and his hair was combed back away from his face. He looked gorgeous, strong and regal, despite the tension in his shoulders and bags under his eyes. You let out a deep sigh, he was here, he hadn’t left. Yet.

Loki stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide. He was just about to leave, just checking his appearance in the mirror one last time. And here you were, making his decision that much harder. But he wasn’t going to back down, he had to do this for you. You deserve the whole world, no, all nine realms. He couldn’t give you that.

“Y/n” it didn’t sound like you remembered it, his voice. It was cold and distant. Indifferent. It hurt, that one word uttered through his lips, hurt. Making your chest clench. But you had to believe that he was just trying to push you away. Succeed in his deranged plan to save you from him.

You lifted your arm and showed him the note, a few tears still slipping down your face. He had no reaction. Nothing. His eyes dropped to the paper you were holding out before him, and back up to your eyes. His stern face never faltered, not a single emotion slipped through.

“It’s not true”

“What is?” His voice was still indifferent, but there was something else, a little sliver of hope maybe. Or that could just be your imagination, your hope that none of this was actually true. You shook your head and dropped your arm.

“I wrote you something too, a while ago. Before you started avoiding me. Before this,” you motioned to the paper in your hand. More tears began to fall, “can I tell you before you leave?” There it was the tiniest change in his eyes, but it was there. It hurt him, to know you accepted his choice, his words.

“I hadn’t told you because I wanted to memorize it. I wanted to be able to look at you when saying every single word.

I want to drink the kisses from your lips

and in the air draw your name next to mine

To the sweet melody of a guitar

take a walk through passionate feelings

in the subtle embrace of the night

you will know what I feel

I'm in love

and your love makes me special

I'm in love

and it does me good, so good

to be in love with you

To feed only from our memories

and wake up from deep sleep

just to see you.”

As you say the words, tears still falling down your cheeks, you slowly see the mask fall. Little by little you see your Loki. The Loki only you get to see. Loki that enjoys his hair being braided, and watching rom coms with you. Loki that loves cuddles, and secretly enjoys being the small spoon, to be held and loved. Loki that will hush away your tears, and chase away your nightmares. Loki that was hurt over and over again, but finds strength in you, the same way you find strength in him. Loki that is vulnerable and selflessly loves, with every inch of his being.

You stare at his teary eyes, trying to tell him everything you feel, everything you fear. Waiting for an answer physically hurts your chest. You know he loves you, you can see it in his eyes. Your fear is that his fear of hurting you will be bigger than his love. That after all of this, he will still walk around you, out the door and leave.

He takes a step closer, never breaking eye contact. You are no longer aware of anything else but him. Another step. You start to feel dizzy, are you even breathing. Another step. You can feel his warm breath on your face. You glance down at his lips before looking back up. His eyes never left yours. You want to kiss him, you really do. But you're frozen in place. You've lost complete control of your body and all you can do is stand there and wait.

“I love you.” and then he bends down, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into a kiss. You gasp into the kiss and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss was soft but eager, and you melted into him. All your fears and worries erased by his lips. When he pulled away to let you breathe you chased after his lips, your breathing not a priority to you. You hear him chuckle and you open your eyes to see him smiling down at you. His entire face was relaxed again, and his smile showed the genuine happiness and love he felt. Unable to stop yourself, you giggle. It makes you unimaginably happy to see him smile like that. At that moment you know that that's all you need. To be able to wake up to that smile everyday, and that smile to be the last thing you see before drifting off to sleep. He quirks a brow.

“What is so funny to you?” you shake your head.

“I love you too.”

[alicepink-me]

The New Guardian

Story Summary: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is an adult in the real world, guarding the Miracle Box in Master Fu's place. She's in love with Chat Noir, but refuses to tell him her feelings. New holders appear to fight the duo and shake up their lives. Marinette makes a tough decision about her future as Ladybug.

Chapter 13: Goodbye

Marinette's finger tapped against the wood before her hand sluggishly fidgeted. It felt the floor beneath her before reaching the front, grabbing onto a bar. Marinette heavily lifted her head up, struggling to take in her surroundings. As her blurred vision faded, she saw that she was in a wooden cell. There was a small light above her, but everything else was dark. Marinette pressed her hand against the ground, pushing herself up. Her arms shook. She was so weak. Where did all of her strength go? She had never felt this helpless before. Did they drug her or something? Marinette's memory was too fuzzy.

Marinette sat up and fell back, leaning against the wall. Her eye lids felt heavy. Her fingers reached to her ears, grazing over the skin. Her earrings were gone and so was her power. Marinette sighed. She remembered the entire meeting with the temple elders, but almost everything afterwards is a huge blank in her mind.

A light went off in her head. Marinette groaned, rubbing her temples. She saw April. Not now but earlier. She was running to her dorm room when she passed April in the hallway . . .

"April, April, April, April!" Marinette shouted, sprinting down the hallway and stopping in front of her. She took a deep breath. "April."

"Marinette." April smiled nervously and her eyes widened.

"I need . . . I need to tell you . . . something." Marinette bent over, panting.

"Well are you gonna tell me or should I come back later? You seem busy." April moved to walk past.

"No, wait!" Marinette stopped her. "I'm leaving the temple, so there won't be a later!"

"What happened?" April asked, face blank. "What did the council say? Was it Chat Noir? Are you running from him again?"

"Not this time. I need to get away from this place and these people before it's too late." Marinette walked to the other side of her. "The teachers, the students, the council, they're all out to get me. I have to go now!" Marinette turned to leave, but April pulled her back.

"You can't be serious. Of course you won't fit in here. You aren't one of us and you never have been, but that won't matter." April put her hands on her shoulders. "You've told me yourself that you're starting to enjoy it here, so why worry about them? I've seen you grow as a holder over the past few weeks. You should be here even if you were never supposed to be."

"You don't understand." Marinette removed her arms and looked around her. She moved to April's ear and whispered. "They're after me." April raised an eyebrow. "Listen, I don't know when they are listening or if they even are, but I need to leave while I still can."

"How do you know they're after you?" April seemed skeptical. "You have a little bit of a hyper and overreactive personality, Marinette. Are you sure you aren't reading in between lines that aren't even there? Was it Priya? I told you how competitive we all are."

"No, April!" Marinette rolled her eyes, still catching her breath. "Think about it. Why would they invite me here in the first place? I was their enemy before I even got here. It doesn't make sense for the council to act so friendly while they let me stomp all over their century old rules to be here."

"I guess that's a little suspicious, but I don't know exactly how the council thinks to agree with you."

"I also overheard them say something about a trial." Marinette announced. "They want to try me for my 'crimes.' The whole meeting I had with them was completely awkward and they were definitely repressing their real feelings, but after it was over, I went back because I forgot my purse, which I never got back. I overheard them talking negatively about me and how I don't deserve everything I have. I didn't hear a date and time for the prosecution, but if I leave now, I might have a chance to escape."

"Have you committed any actual crimes while you've been here?" April asked, thinking aloud.

Marinette stepped back, scrunched her eyebrows. "You don't believe me? Why are you accusing me of such things?" Her heart began to speed up. "Are you siding with them?!"

"No!" April stepped forward. "I'm asking because you're new and only freshman eleven year olds are given a copy of the temple, school, and miraculous rules." She sighed. "I'm just making sure you didn't accidentally break one. Even if it's small, we are very strict. They might prepare a trial. I only told you about our no using your miraculous outside of class rule. There are hundreds of others."

"I don't think I did." Marinette relaxed.

"Think about it. Rest on it for a night and we'll talk. Even if it's dirty, the temple is fantastic at ambushing students with a trial. If we know what you did, we can build a defense case early on." April tried to calm her.

"But I should be leaving." Marinette protested. "I have to."

"If you leave right away, that's a thousand times more suspicious and bad on your part. You need an actual plan."

"Well I'm not staying a whole night. There's no way I'll be sleeping." Marinette backed up. "I'm great at running from my problems, April, and even if you think it's childish, I'll still flee this one."

April took a deep breath. "Fine. I'll help you get out." She pulled out her phone. "I'm headed to get lunch right now, but if you're so focused on staying on the downlow right now, I'll grab it quick and come back to our room. I'll grab you something too, so you aren't thinking on an empty stomach. I should only be gone fifteen minutes and then we can strategize your next move, okay?"

"Just hurry." Marinette pleaded. "I can't take much more of this." She hyperventilated.

April jogged away, slipping her phone back in her pocket. Marinette turned around and continued back to her dorm. She stared at the ground, her thoughts racing. She was at a lost. Her mind and body was bursting with anxiety. She could hardly think straight let alone walk straight. The council was turning on her and once she left, she could never turn back. From here on out, she has to lay low and avoid being Ladybug too much. Marinette didn't really have a plan, but she'd rather make it before she loses everything. What would Chat Noir think? Was she going to see him again? That idea terrified but excited her at the same time.

Marinette unknowingly managed a small smile. Without admitting it, the image of Chat Noir made her slightly hopeful. She rounded the next left corner before looked up. BLANK

That was it. After talking to April, her memory was gone. Marinette rubbed her head. She didn't know what was around that corner, but whatever happened there, resulted in her being here.

Marinette's head fell to the side. Her wooden cell wasn't very big, but she could still move around. It was insanely humid in here. She sniffed the air. Something about it smelled weird. It made her drowsy yet awake. Even if she had her miraculous, she most likely wouldn't be able to transform, but that's probably what they wanted.

Marinette's wrist began to tingle and she squinted. Her eyes pointed down and she slowly reached to pull her sleeve up. There were what felt like a few bruises there. They hadn't appeared yet, but were starting to. Someone must have either grabbed her or dragged her here or both. Either way, the council was taking the trial very seriously with aggressive intentions. Being gentle clearly wasn't their concern. They weren't approaching this calmly, so her criminal punishment would be just as harsh. That thought scared her. They could erase her memory or hurt Chat Noir. Maybe the council would even go as far as killing her. It's not like Marinette had studied these people in high school. Who knows what their beliefs and societal norms are? They may have some secret ritual that no one, not even Master Fu, knows about. Marinette could even be some test subject to them or a minimal piece of property.

All Marinette knew was that she had to fight them no matter what, even in her weakened state. If they are to take her life in the end, they won't do so so easily. They'll have to earn her life.

A loud screech was heard and a bright light shown through. Marinette groaned, covering her eyes. A metal door across from her in the room was opened. The new light slowly lit up the room she was in. There were a few other wooden cells next to her, but she was the only one in here. She could make out counter tops and cabinets. It gave the impression of a doctor or a veterinarian office. Maybe she was a test subject after all.

Master Mantis stepped through the door, closing it behind him. He flipped a light switch, the light blazing Marinette's eyes. She winced. Mantis walked over and bent down next to the cage door, pulling out a key. He had a pair of chains hanging from his belt.

"We're ready for you now, Ms. Dupain-Cheng." He said, unlocking the gate.

"Ready for what?" Marinette rolled her head towards him.

"Your trial." He answered, "It's finally time."

Marinette smiled. "You guys couldn't even wait a day for me to bust out of this place." She laughed, probably losing her mind. "Everything seemed fine at our little meeting, but you all are too impatient I see. Why accuse me so quickly? Did you think I'd run? Because you're absolutely right."

"Why are you smiling?" Mantis squinted. "You're taking all of this so lightly."

"Because it's funny." She grinned. "I have run from so much in my lifetime and I'm just tired. Whatever happens . . . we'll see. I don't know what you guys are pumping in this air, but it's fantastic. I feel neutral. I've never felt more lifeless and alive at the same time." Marinette chuckled. "You guys are trying so hard to watch me fail and it's hilarious."

"Hold out your wrists." Mantis grabbed the chains.

Marinette leaned forward with a groan and complied. "You don't trust me?"

Mantis looked up at her before placing a shackle on each wrist. "I used to . . . but I believe that was a mistake." He stood, holding the end of the chains. "Stand." He commanded.

Marinette crawled out of the cage and stood up. "Where are we going? An auditorium? Is the whole school invited as my audience?"

"No." He sighed, pulling her to the door. "Just follow me and if you try anything funny, you will pay dearly."

"Got it." Marinette grinned.

Mantis opened the door and led Marinette out. As soon as the fresh air hit her, some life bled back into her soul. Once she was out of that room, her surroundings seemed to be taken in better. Marinette still felt weak but more awake.

They both stood in an unfamiliar hallway that mirrored the older one she walked down to attend their meeting earlier. This one only had two doors that she could see, the one they just left and one ahead of them. Mantis tugged her forward. The hall was lined with at least twelve men in suits that looked like secret service. They didn't react, but their heads followed her. Strange. Mantis lead her to the door. Number sixteen was marked on it. Marinette watched him turn the knob before pushing the wood open.

A/N

If you’ve read this far, I’d be happy to hear any reviews. They’ll help me find any possible plot holes and fix my future writing. Thanks

-Alice Pink

[anonthenullifier]

You think either Tommy or Billy would of ever "walked in" on their parents?

Oh yes, of course. :D Hope you enjoy this way more than Tommy does.

They’d been on the road just long enough for Tommy’s fingers to grow restless, so about five minutes, give or take. Billy’s music choice is awful, far too angsty and coffee-house vibey for his tastes and he drives way too slow. But given Tommy got a speeding ticket his first week with his license, the parental units deemed him to always be the passenger. Five minutes, roughly, is also just long enough for his mind to finally catch up with his mouth. “Oh shit.” Tommy bolts upright and swats at his brother’s arm “Hey.” Nothing. Apparently his grumbling about having to spend the weekend watching Billy get all doe-eyed around Teddy really got to him. So Tommy hits his brother harder, “Hey.”

A sharp “What?”comes with Billy’s attempt at a steely side-eye.

“You grab mom’s sleeping bag?”

The car rolls to a stop at an intersection and Billy’s steeliness gives way to a pointed disbelief, one that says in big flashing letters you’re an idiot. “You told dad you grabbed it.”

He did, about four times because he was tired of the endless questions about their packing. It’s a three day camping trip and yet dad had a list long enough to survive a month in the wilderness. They aren’t even going far into the mountains, he checked, there’s a Walmart like fifteen minutes from their campsite. “Well…I didn’t actually grab it because  I thought you did.” Which is a lie but he hates the self-satisfaction that oozes onto Billy’s face whenever he fucks up.

“Well, guess I’ll be warm since I actually grabbed mine.”

“Congratulations.” Billy grins and continues driving, as if everything is solved, but it’s not. It’s going to be negative five or some disgustingly cold temperature and mom’s sleeping bag is one of those expensive thermal ones that makes her look like a mummy in a sarcophagus. Dad got it for her like three years ago for Mother’s Day and Tommy would prefer not to freeze his ass off for a training trip led by Uncle Sam (which he never realized until now how fitting it is that Sam’s been tapped to take over the shield, what a perfect name for America’s hero), “We could run back, right?”

Billy shakes his head, hands gripping the steering wheel tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. “No, we’re already late picking up Cassie and I don’t want to run laps around the lake.” Sam’s favorite punishment for the sin of tardiness.

“It’s not that big of a lake.”  It’s not, it’s maybe a mile around and Tommy has no issue running it and it’s not his fault his brother’s endurance isn’t great. “You just have spaghetti legs.” Billy’s face hardens even more, almost statuesque though no one would want to carve a statue of that face. A different tactic might be more fitting. “Fine, then I’m telling Sam about how Teddy’s going to find his way into your sleeping bag.”

They pull up to Cassie’s house but his brother doesn’t move beyond a slight twist of his waist to measure up how serious Tommy is being. Tommy flashes him a beaming, genuine, certified Maximoff shit-eating grin. The deep sigh out Billy’s nostrils is the surest sign that he’s about to cave. “Fine.”

“Hey, you just going to sit out here like creeps?”  Cassie opens the back door and throws her duffel bag in, sliding into the seat with a smile that fades at the tension in the car. “If you two are fighting, it better end in this car, I’m not dealing with it all weekend.”

Billy’s voice doesn’t do anything to ease her concern, his, “We have to swing by our house again,” flat and unimpressed.

“Come on, I’m not doing laps.”

“It’s me, I’ll be fast.” Tommy does his best to eschew the concerns of both people, which has marginal success, the drive back to their house silent minus Billy’s poor taste in music.

When they pull into the driveway, Billy parks the car and stays buckled, turning expectant eyes to Tommy, “You know where it is, right?”

“Yes?”

“Seriously? Dad told you like fifteen times.”

The rest of the camping gear was in the garage, but Tommy feels like he would have remembered it had it been in the same crate as the freeze-dried rations dad insisted he pack. “Not the garage…”  Billy stares at him, flabbergasted by the utter failure of the plan but given the sheer amount of information being thrown at them, how was he to remember everything? “We’ll be less likely to run laps if you help me out.”

Billy rolls his eyes with another nasally exhale, “It’s in their closet. Dad moved it there when the garage flooded last year.”

Which sounds vaguely familiar and, though he won’t admit it out loud, Billy tends to have the better memory for useless information, so he’s probably right. “Okay. Try not to miss me.”

His brother’s, “We won’t” fades into the background as Tommy sprints out of the car and up to the wrap-around porch, slowing down long enough to open the door with a friendly, “Did you miss me?” There’s no response, the lights out except the one above the stove, the one they always leave on when out of town. A note is stuck under the flower vase in the entryway, telling Rhodes which plants to water and how often. It seems they didn’t waste any time in leaving, going off on some romantic getaway while he and Billy are gone for the weekend. Which, good for them, he supposes, but they’re always unbearable after trips like this, ratcheting up their touchy-feely-ness to nauseating levels.

Tommy races up the stairs and down the hall, stopping long enough to stare at the closed door of the master bedroom. He reaches for the doorknob and then grins, realizing there is no one around to caution him against trying his hand at walking through walls, mom never happy when she has to send dad in to rescue him when he gets stuck. The closet is on the other side of his own bathroom, so Tommy jogs down the hall and positions himself in front of the wall, crouched and ready for impact as he bends at the waist. He centralizes his powers in his chest, building up the speeding molecules of his body, an action apparently similar to what his dad does, and once he feels as if his nose might fall off from the vibrations in his muscles, he steps towards the wall, his molecules discombobulated enough that he simply slips right through and into the dark closet. “Fucking nailed it.” There’s also no one around to police his language, really he feels like maybe he’ll just stay home for the weekend, let Billy go to the training, and just enjoy the house to himself. If only he wouldn’t be written up and reported to his parents.

A tug to a chain lights up the closet enough for him to find the sleeping bag nestled between two boxes on the second shelf. As he tucks the bag under his arm, the sound of a low, muffled voice comes through the door. His heart races as he, for once in his life, stands absolutely still. There’s a creak and it can’t be from him, neither can the thud of something hitting the floor or the line of unintelligible words that follow.  Tommy weighs his options, certain there’s a burglar in their house, probably because someone posted about their trip on instagram (not that he’s pointing fingers but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was Teddy). Still, breaking into an Avenger household takes balls and he’s torn between doing the “responsible” thing and leaving to get backup (i.e. Cassie and Billy), or doing the heroic thing and taking down these assholes now.  

There’s no question that he’s a hero, which leaves only one course of action.

Tommy places the sleeping bag down and pulls his goggles from his back pocket, affixing them to his face with a satisfying snap.  On the mental count of three, he turns the door handle and barges into the room with a, “You chose the wrong house you motherfuc…” but the heroic quip trails off as he takes in the surprised faces of the burglars, who are not as unwelcome in the house as he thought. “No…no…”

“Tommy!”   “Thomas?”

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, fuck (no, not that word, not that word) no, no, no. It’s the only refrain in his mind as his feet carry him out of the room, down the stairs, and through the car door, not caring at Billy’s angry, “What the hell?!”

“Get it out,” Tommy’s hands shake in his lap and he can’t decide if he should keep his eyes open or close them, both options filled with the image of his parents, “get it out of my head,” naked, very very naked, not even a sheet tastefully placed like it is in the movies, “get it out of my head, Billy,” he dry heaves at the knowledge he now has, of confirming the internet rumors of how the Scarlet Witch is a top and he really never ever wanted to solve that mystery, “please.”

“Get what out?”

Now his brother’s voice is concerned, as it should be. “Mom and dad,” is it overkill to cry? Because he feels like crying, like a piece of his soul might have died and he will never get it back. “Were hav- were having…” he can’t say the word, “and using powers, I,” Kate and Cassie like to tell them about the most outrageously explicit and disgusting things Avengers’ fans write about their parents and sadly, he now knows some of them are right, “I want you to erase my memory and gouge out my eyes.”

There’s a knock on his window and Tommy almost screams, sinking lower into his seat at the concerned frowns of their parents outside the car, both, thankfully, fully clothed, though mom’s hair is far messier than usual. Billy, the traitor, rolls down the window. “We forgot the sleeping bag.”

“Yes, here it is,” dad hands the sleeping bag through the window, and Tommy grips it to his chest, hugging it close while keeping his gaze averted, not sure he can look either of them in the eye. “Thomas,” dad’s trying his most fatherly voice but it won’t get Tommy to stop staring at the stain on his shoe, “we understand you are likely uncomfortable with what you just witnessed,” this seems to shift the atmosphere of the car, Cassie biting back a laugh while Billy’s face grows dismayed, “but you should also be aware that sex,” now Billy’s a ghost, just like him,  “for many couples, is an important, fun, and highly satisfying part of a relationship. Something we hope you one day experience as well, if that is what you want. ” What he wants is to die, right here right now, let God or Thor or whoever up there controls lightning to strike him down before this conversation keeps going. “Your mother and I were too absorbed in enjoying ourselves and did not hear you come in.” That’s it, he’s an atheist now, because no loving deity would let him live through this.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see his mom run her hand up dad’s arm, which only brings the image back to his mind. Thankfully, she doesn’t continue the conversation, at least not in the direction it was going. “What were you doing in our closet?”

Being an idiot and he vows to never walk through a wall again. “Just, um, getting the sleeping bag.”

“You know, Mr. and Mrs. Maximoff,” Cassie is an angel, a thoroughly entertained and devious angel who will lob this at him every chance she gets this weekend, but he’s not picky right now if it saves him in the moment, “we should probably leave, don’t want to be punished for being tardy.”

This seems to go over well, a sense of dad nodding his head in understanding. “Yes, you should not be delinquent for your trip.” Billy starts to shift the car into drive, but stops when dad bends down, his brow furrowed around the Mindstone and voice annoyingly calm, “I believe when you all get back, we should perhaps sit down to speak more on this issue, given you likely have many more questions now that you have begun pursuing romantic relationships.”

“Oh, goodie.” Tommy sends a thumbs up and then rolls up the window, waiting until they are down the street before he screams into the sleeping bag.

[gaysparklepires]

25. Favor

Read on Archive of Our Own - Links up top!

It was only a little while later that Edward reminded me of life outside our new home.

“Are you ready for my birthday gift for you?” He smiled.

“That wasn’t it?” I teased. But I sighed. “I suppose we should go make an appearance at least, right?”

He smiled, “Go get dressed, love.”

“Okay,” I probably looked like a cartoon, the way I sprung up, then looked back at him—his diamond body faintly glinting in the diffused light—then looked away to the west, where our family waited, then back at him again, then back toward the big house, my head whipping from side to side a half dozen times in a second. Edward laughed.

“It’s all about balance, love. You’re so good at all this, I don’t imagine it will take too long for you to find that balance.”

“And we have all night, right?”

He smiled wider. “Do you think I could bear to let you get dressed now if that weren’t the case?”

That would have to be enough to get me through the daylight hours. I would balance this overwhelming, devastating desire with real life—as real as life could be given the circumstances.

I didn’t even pause at the ornately carved double doors to catch my breath before finding out what Alice had done. I just burst through, intent on wearing the first things I touched. I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Which ones are mine?” I hissed. As promised, the room was bigger than our bedroom. It might have been bigger than the rest of the house put together, but I’d have to pace it off to be positive. I had a brief mental flash of Alice trying to persuade Esme to ignore classic proportions and allow this monstrosity. I wondered how Alice had won that one.

Everything was wrapped in garment bags, pristine and white, row after row after row.

“To the best of my knowledge, everything but this rack here”—he touched a bar that stretched along the half-wall to the left of the door—“is yours.”

“All of this?”

He shrugged.

“Alice,” we said together then laughed.

“Alright,” I muttered, and I pulled down the zipper on the closest bag. I sighed in exasperation when I saw the silk suit inside—baby blue, no less.

Finding something normal to wear could take all day.

“Let me help,” Edward offered. He sniffed carefully at the air and then followed some scent to the back of the long room. There was a built-in dresser there. He sniffed again, then opened a drawer. With a triumphant grin, he held out a pair of artfully faded blue jeans.

I dashed to his side. “How did you do that?”

“Denim has its own scent just like anything else. Now... stretch cotton?”

He followed his nose to a half-rack, unearthing a long-sleeved white t-shirt. He tossed it to me.

“Thanks,” I said fervently. I inhaled each fabric, memorizing the scent for future searches through this madhouse. I remembered silk and satin; I wouldn’t much need those.

It only took him seconds to find his own clothes—if I hadn’t seen him undressed, I would have sworn there was nothing more beautiful than Edward in his own jeans and white button up shirt—and then he took my hand. We darted through the hidden garden, leaped lightly over the stone wall, and hit the forest at a dead sprint. I pulled my hand free so that we could race back. He beat me this time.

Royal and Emmett were sitting at the table, talking quietly to each other. Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were sitting on the couch, in a much deeper conversation.

“Good morning,” I called as Edward and I walked into the room.

“Well, well, well,” Emmett grinned. “Look who actually showed up.”

“We weren’t expecting you today,” Royal said, sounding surprised. Then he bit his lip and looked away, trying not to laugh. I could see Emmett starting to shake with silent laughter, sending vibrations through the foundations of the house.

I kept my chin high, “Esme, thank you. So much. The house is absolutely perfect.”

Esme beamed, “I’m glad you like it.” She sighed, “I wish I had been able to figure out something to do with that extra room, though.”

“About that,” I grinned. “We were thinking maybe a kitchen?”

Esme’s eyes lit up with excitement, but before she could respond, Emmett was laughing again—it wasn’t silent this time.

“So the house is still standing?” he managed to get out between his snickers. “I would’ve thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt?” He howled with laughter.

I glared at him but focused on keeping calm. I had better things to do than lose my temper at Emmett. Of course, Emmett wasn’t as breakable as some of my friends.

Speaking of, “Where’re the boys today?” I glanced out the window wall, but there had been no sign of Liam or Seth on the way in.

“Jacob took off this morning pretty early,” Royal told me, a little frown creasing his forehead. “Seth followed him out.”

“What was so urgent?” Edward asked. There must have been more in Royal’s memory than I’d seen in his expression.

“I don’t know,” Royal shrugged. “He woke up this morning and seemed like he had a lot on his mind—just sitting there with his mouth hanging open like the moron he is, and then he just jumped to his feet without any kind of trigger—that I noticed, anyway—and rushed out. Iwas glad to be rid of him. The more time he spends here, the less chance there is that we’ll ever get the smell out.”

“Roy,” Esme chided gently.

Royal ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. We won’t be here that much longer.”

“I still say we should go straight to New Hampshire and get things set up,” Emmett said, obviously continuing an earlier conversation. “Beau’s already registered at Dartmouth. Doesn’t look like it will take him all that long to be able to handle school.” He turned to look at me with a teasing grin. “I’m sure you’ll ace your classes... apparently there’s nothing interesting for you to do at night besides study.”

Royal giggled.

Do not lose your temper, do not lose your temper, I chanted to myself. And then I was proud of myself for keeping my head.

So I was pretty surprised that Edward didn’t.

He growled—an abrupt, shocking rasp of sound—and the blackest fury rolled across his expression like storm clouds.

Before any of us could respond, Alice was on her feet.

“What is he doing? What is that dog doing that has erased my schedule for the entire day? I can’t see anything! No!” She shot me a tortured glance. “Look at you! You need me to show you how to use your closet.”

For one second I was grateful for whatever Jacob was up to.

And then Edward’s hands balled up into fists and he snarled, “He talked to Charlie. He thinks Charlie is following after him. Coming here. Today.”

Alice said a word that sounded very odd in her trilling, ladylike voice, and then she blurred into motion, streaking out the back door.

“He told Charlie?” I gasped. “But—doesn’t he understand? How could he do that?” Charlie couldn’t know about me! About vampires! That would put him on a hit list that even the Cullens couldn’t save him from. “No!”

Edward spoke through his teeth. “Jacob’s on his way in now.”

It must have started raining farther east. Jacob came through the door shaking his wet hair like a dog, flipping droplets on the carpet and the couch where they made little round gray spots on the white. His teeth glinted against his dark lips; his eyes were bright and excited. He walked with jerky movements, like he was all hyped-up about destroying my father’s life.

“Hey, guys,” he greeted us, grinning. It was perfectly silent.

Liam and Seth slipped in behind him, in their human forms—for now; both of their hands were trembling with the tension in the room.

“Edward,” his name came through my clenched teeth. Wordlessly, Edward came up behind me and placed both hands on my shoulders; half-comfort and half keeping me in place in case I should lose my temper and decide to throw Jacob through the glass wall.

“Charlie’ll be here soon,” Jacob said to me casually. “Just a heads-up. I assume Alice is getting some bronzer or something for you?”

“You assume waytoo much,” I hissed. “What. Have. You. Done?”

Jacob’s smile wavered, but he was still too wound up to answer seriously. “Blondie and Emmett woke me up this morning going on and on about you all moving cross-country. Like I could let you leave. Charlie was the biggest issue here, right? Well, problem solved.”

“Do you even realize what you’ve done? The danger you’ve put him in?”

He snorted. “I didn’t put him in danger. Except from you. But you’ve got some kind of supernatural self-control, right? Not as good as mind reading, if you ask me. Much less exciting.”

Edward moved then, darting in front of me to get in Jacob’s face. Though he was half a head shorter than Jacob, Jacob leaned away from his staggering anger as if Edward towered over him.

“That’s just a theory, mongrel,” he snarled. “You think we should test it out on Charlie? Did you consider the physical pain you’re putting Beau through, even if he can resist? Or the emotional pain if he doesn’t? I suppose what happens to Beau no longer concerns you!” He spit the last word.

Edward’s words finally cut through Jacob’s strangely electric mood. His mouth dropped into a frown. “Beau will be in pain?”

“Like you’ve shoved a white-hot branding iron down his throat!”

I felt like he was layering things on a little heavy now. I remembered back to the hiker in the woods, the pain hadn’t been thatbad.

“I didn’t know that,” Jacob whispered.

“Then perhaps you should have asked first,” Edward growled back through his teeth.

“You would have stopped me.”

“You should have been stopped—”

“This isn’t about me,” I interrupted. I stood very still, keeping my hold sanity. “This is about Charlie, Jacob. How could you put him in danger this way? Do you realize it’s death or vampire life for him now, too?” My voice trembled and I was surprised that tears still formed in my eyes.

Jacob was still troubled by Edward’s accusations, but mine didn’t seem to bother him. “Relax, Beau. I didn’t tell him anything you weren’t planning to tell him.”

“But he’s coming here!”

“Yeah, that’s the idea. Wasn’t the whole ‘let him make the wrong assumptions’ thing your plan? I think I provided a very nice red herring, if I do say so myself.”

My hands tensed at my side. “Say it straight, Jacob. I don’t have the patience for this.”

“I didn’t tell him anything about you, Beau. Not really. I told him about me. Well, show is probably a better verb.”

“He phased in front of Charlie,” Edward hissed.

I whispered, “You what?”

“He’s brave. Brave as you are. Didn’t pass out or throw up or anything. I gotta say, I was impressed. You should’ve seen his face when I started taking my clothes off, though. Priceless,” Jacob chortled.

“You absolute moron! You could have given him a heart attack!”

“Charlie’s fine. He’s tough. If you’d give this just a minute, you’ll see that I did you a

favor here.”

“You have half of that, Jacob.” My voice was flat and steely. “You have thirty seconds to tell me every single word before I throw you through the wall.”

“Jeez, babe. You didn’t used to be so melodramatic. Is that the vampire side of you?”

“Twenty-six seconds.”

Jacob sighed and shifted awkwardly. Seth and Liam seemed to move slightly with him; Liam’s eyes were on me, his teeth slightly bared.

“So I knocked on Charlie’s door this morning and asked him to come for a walk with me. He was confused, but when I told him it was about you and that you were back in town, he followed me out to the woods. I told him you weren’t sick anymore, and that things were a little weird, but good. He was about to take off to see you, but I told him I had to show him something first. And then I phased.” Jacob shrugged.

My teeth felt like a vise was pushing them together. “I want every word, Jacob.”

“Well, you said I only had thirty seconds—okay, okay.” My expression must have convinced him that I wasn’t in the mood for teasing. “Lemme see... I phased back and got dressed, and then after he started breathing again, I said something like, ‘Charlie, you don’t live in the world you thought you lived in. The good news is, nothing has changed—except that now you know. Life’ll go on the same way it always has. You can go right back to pretending that you don’t believe any of this.’

“It took him a minute to get his head together, and then he wanted to know what was really going on with you, with the whole rare-disease thing. I told him that you had been sick, but you were fine now—it was just that you’d had to change a little bit in the process of getting better. He wanted to know what I meant by ‘change,’ and I told him that you looked a lot more like Carlisle now than you looked like him.”

Edward hissed while I stared in horror; this was headed in a dangerous direction.

“After a few minutes, he asked, real quietly, if you turned into an animal, too. And I said, ‘Beau wishes he was that cool!’” Jacob chuckled.

Royal made a noise of disgust.

“I started to tell him more about werewolves, but I didn’t even get the whole word out —Charlie cut me off and said he’d ‘rather not know the specifics.’ Then he asked if you’d known what you were getting yourself into when you married Edward, and I said, ‘Sure, Beau’s known all about this for years, since he first came to Forks.’ He didn’t like that very much. I let him rant till he got it out of his system. After he got calmed down, he just wanted two things. He wanted to see you, and I said it would be better if he gave me a head start to explain.”

I inhaled deeply. “What was the other thing he wanted?”

Jacob smiled. “You’ll like this. His main request is that he be told as little as possible about all of this. If it’s not absolutely essential for him to know something, then keep it to yourself. Need to know, only.”

I felt relief for the first time since Jacob had walked in. “I can handle that part.”

“Other than that, he’d just like to pretend things are normal.” Jacob’s smile turned smug; he must suspect that I would be starting to feel the first faint stirrings of gratitude about now.

I struggled to maintain my serious expression, fighting the reluctant appreciation. It was premature. There was still so much wrong with this situation. Even if Jacob’s intervention had brought out a better reaction in Charlie than I’d ever hoped for...

Jacob seemed to sense I was still angry at him. He walked past Edward and right up to me, waving Liam and Seth off when they started to follow him. He looked at my eyes, his expression showing more repentance than before. “Beau,” he began in a soft voice. “I guess it doesn’t help much if I say this was supposed to be my birthday present to you?”

I couldn’t help but let a slightly maniacal laugh escape my lips. “Birthday present? Really, Jacob?”

He sighed. “Everyone was talking about leaving, and I could tell you were really upset yesterday talking about Charlie—about not seeing him and missing him. I wanted to fix it for you, Beau.”

He stared at me with half a smile, waiting.

“I’m not going to say thank you,” I told him. “You’re still putting Charlie at a huge risk.”

“I amsorry about it hurting you. I didn’t know it was like that. Beau, things are different with us now, but you’ll always be my best friend, and I’ll always love you.”

From behind Jacob, I could see Liam tense in an odd way, I made a note of it in the back of my head to try and analyze it when I wasn’t so occupied.

Jacob continued, “But I’ll love you the right way now. As your friend.” He smiled his very most Jacob-y smile. “If we’re still friends?”

Try as hard as I could to resist, I had to smile back. Just a tiny smile.

He held out his hand: an offer.

I took a deep breath and put my left hand in his. “If I don’t kill Charlie tonight, I’ll consider forgiving you for this.”

“Whenyou don’t kill Charlie tonight, you’ll owe me huge.”

I rolled my eyes.

Alice raced back through the door then, her hands full and her expression promising violence.

“You, you, and you,” she snapped, glaring at the werewolves. “If you must stay, get over in the corner and commit to being there for a while. I need to see. Beau, I need you over here with me.”

Undiluted fear ripped through my stomach as the enormity of what I was about to do hit me. I was going to gamble on my iffy self-control with my pure human father as the guinea pig. Edward’s earlier words crashed in my ears again.

Did you consider the physical pain you’re putting Beau through, even if he can resist? Or the emotional pain if he doesn’t?

I couldn’t imagine the pain of failure. My breathing turned to gasps. “Coming,” I gasped out.

Jacob frowned, concern wrinkling his forehead. He gestured to the others, and they all went to the far corner of the room. Seth and Jake slouched on the floor at once, but Liam shook his head and pursed his lips.

“Am I allowed to leave?” he griped. He looked uncomfortable in his human body, wearing the same dirty t-shirt and cotton shorts he’d worn to yell at me the other day, his short hair sticking up in irregular tufts. his hands were still shaking.

“Of course,” Jake said.

“Stay east so you don’t cross Charlie’s path,” Alice added.

Liam didn’t look at Alice; he ducked out the back door and stomped into the bushes to phase.

Edward was back at my side, stroking my face. “You can do this. I know you can. I’ll help you; we all will.”

I met Edward’s eyes with panic screaming from my face. Was he strong enough to stop me if I made a wrong move?

“If I didn’t believe you could handle it, we’d disappear today. This very minute. But you can. And you’ll be happier if you can have Charlie in your life.”

I tried to slow my breathing.

Alice held up a round compact and a make up brush, “Thankfully your eyes aren’t toomuch of a problem. I did have some contacts prepared just in case, though.”

“When did you—”

“Before you left on the honeymoon. I was prepared for several possible futures. Now hold still and close your eyes.”

I nodded, closing my eyes. I heard the pop of the compact opening, I could smell some sort of makeup product inside it. Alice was brushing it on my face in lightning quick motions.

“There,” she said, “Open your eyes and tell me what you think.”

When I opened my eyes, she was holding the compact open towards me. It was a lightly colored powder of some sort with a small round mirror in the top half of the compact. She had warmed up my pale skin with the makeup.

“How do I look?” I asked Edward, the makeup felt strange on my skin. I had never worn makeup in my human life, but I imagined it didn’t feel as strange on the skin as it did now.

Edward smiled. “You look gorgeous. Of course—”

“Yes, yes, he always looks gorgeous,” Alice finished his thought impatiently. “You’re not as pale as us, but you’re still paler than you used to be. Be sure you don’t wipe it off, I imagine you don’t like the feel of it. If you do, excuse yourself to the downstairs bathroom for a touch up. Which might be a good idea anyway, because humans need bathroom breaks.” She shook her head. “Esme, give him a few pointers on acting human while I put this in the powder room.”

“How long do I have?”

“Charlie will be here in five minutes. Keep it simple.”

Esme nodded once and came to take my hand. “The main thing is not to sit too still or move too fast,” she told me.

“Sit down if he does,” Emmett interjected. “Humans don’t like to just stand there.”

“Let your eyes wander every thirty seconds or so,” Jasper added. “Humans don’t stare at one thing for too long.”

“Cross your legs for about five minutes, then switch to the other leg for the next five,” Royal said.

I nodded once at each suggestion. I’d noticed them doing some of these things yesterday. I thought I could mimic their actions.

“And blink at least three times a minute,” Emmett said. He frowned, then darted to where the television remote sat on the end table. He flipped the TV on to a college football game and nodded to himself.

“Move your hands, too. Brush your hair back or pretend to scratch something,” Jasper said.

“I said Esme,” Alice complained as she returned. “You’ll overwhelm him.”

“No, I think I got it all,” I said. “Sit, look around, blink, fidget.”

“Right,” Esme approved. She hugged my shoulders.

Jasper frowned. “You’ll be holding your breath as much as possible, but you need to move your shoulders a little to make it looklike you’re breathing.”

I inhaled once and then nodded again.

Edward hugged me on my free side. “You can do this,” he repeated, murmuring the encouragement in my ear.

“Two minutes,” Alice said. “Maybe you should start out already on the couch. You’ve been sick, after all. That way he won’t have to see you move right at first.”

Alice pulled me to the sofa. I tried to move slowly, to make my limbs more clumsy. She rolled her eyes, so I must not have been doing a good job.

“Do better.” Alice commanded.

Edward took a seat beside me and put his arms around me. He leaned into me and kissed my neck gently. “You can do this.”

“I can do this.” I said, but it sounded wrong.

Jacob chuckled.

“Maybe you should leave, Jacob,” Edward said coldly, glaring in his direction. Edward hadn’t forgiven Jacob, because Edward only knew how bad the burning of thirst was from his perspective and as far as he knew I would be suffering terribly.

“I told Charlie I’d be here,” Jacob said. “He needs moral support.”

“Moral support,” Edward scoffed. “As far as Charlie knows, you’re the most repulsive monster of us all.”

“Repulsive?” Jake protested, and then he laughed quietly to himself.

I heard the tires turn off the highway onto the quiet, damp earth of the Cullens’ drive, and my breathing spiked again. My heart ought to have been hammering. It made me anxious that it continued it’s slow, steady pace—an entirely wrong reaction.

Instead of fighting my new body’s natural reactions, I tried to embrace it. I concentrated on the slow, steady thrumming of my heart to calm myself. It worked pretty quickly.

“Well done, Beau,” Jasper whispered in approval.

Edward tightened his arm over my shoulders.

“You’re sure?” I asked him.

“Positive. You can do anything.” He smiled at kissed me.

It wasn’t precisely a peck on the lips, and my new, wilder reactions took me off guard yet again. Edward’s lips were like a shot of some addictive chemical straight into my nervous system. I was instantly craving more. It took all my concentration to remember the talk at hand.

Jasper felt my mood change. “Er, Edward, you might not want to distract him like that right now. He needs to be able to focus.”

Edward pulled away. “Oops,” he said.

I laughed. That had been my line from the very beginning, from the very first kiss.

“Later,” I said, and anticipation curled my stomach into a ball.

“Focus, Beau,” Jasper urged.

“Right.” I pushed the trembly feelings away. Charlie, that was the main thing now. Keep Charlie safe today. We would have all night...

“Beau.”

“Sorry, Jasper.”

Emmett laughed.

I continued to focus on my heartbeat, the more I focused, the more relaxed I got. Then a thought came to the forefront of my mind and I couldn’t help but turn to Jacob.

“Jake. You stripped in front of my dad?”

Jacob opened his mouth to speak, then his face darkened with a blush. “I didn’t want to ruin my clothes…” he mumbled.

Despite my nervousness, I couldn’t help but let out a disbelieving laugh.

The sound of Charlie’s cruiser got closer and closer. The second of levity passed, and everyone was still. I crossed my legs and practiced my blinks.

The car pulled in front of the house and idled for a few seconds. I wondered if Charlie was as nervous as I was. Then the engine cut off, and a door slammed. Three steps across the grass, and then eight echoing thuds against the wooden stairs. Four more echoing footsteps across the porch. Then silence. Charlie took two deep breaths.

Knock, knock, knock.

I inhaled for what might be the last time.

Carlisle answered the door. His stressed expression changed to one of welcome, like switching the channel on the TV.

“Hello, Charlie,” he said, looking appropriately abashed. After all, we were supposed to be in Atlanta at the Center for Disease Control. Charlie knew he’d been lied to.

“Carlisle,” Charlie greeted him stiffly. “Where’s Beau?”

“Right here, Dad.”

Ugh! My voice was so wrong. Plus, I’d used up some of my air supply. I gulped in a quick refill, glad that Charlie’s scent had not saturated the room yet.

Charlie’s blank expression told me how off my voice was. His eyes zeroed in on me and widened.

I read the emotions as they scrolled across his face.

Shock. Disbelief. Pain. Loss. Fear. Anger. Suspicion. More pain.

I bit my lip. It felt funny. My new teeth were sharper against my skin than my human teeth had been against my soft human lips.

“Is that you, Beau?” he whispered.

“Yep.” I winced at my bell-like voice. “Hi, Dad.”

He took a deep breath to steady himself.

“Hey, Charlie,” Jacob greeted him from the corner. “How’re things?”

Charlie glowered at Jacob once, shuddered at a memory, and then stared at me again.

Slowly, Charlie walked across the room until he was a few feet away from me. He darted an accusing glare at Edward, and then his eyes flickered back to me. The warmth of his body heat beat against me with each pulse of his heart.

“Beau?” he asked again.

I spoke in a lower voice, trying to keep the ring out of it. “It’s really me.”

His jaw locked.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said.

“Are you okay?” he demanded.

“Really and truly great,” I promised. “Healthy as a horse.”

“Jake told me this was… necessary. That you were dying.” He said the words like he didn’t believe them one bit.

I steeled myself, focused on my steady heart, leaned into Edward for support, and took a deep breath.

Charlie’s scent was at first a fistful of flames, punching down my throat. My mind instantly went back to the scent of the anonymous hikers from before. Charlie’s blood was just as tempting, and he was only a few feet away.

But it wasn’t unbearable. Not as unbearable as I had prepared for.

This was a relief. Edward gave my shoulder a squeeze as he sensed my body relaxed, and Jacob shot a hopeful glance at me across the room.

I collected myself and ignored the pain of the thirst. Charlie was waiting for my answer.

“Jacob was telling you the truth.”

“That makes one of you,” Charlie growled.

I hoped Charlie could see past the changes in my new face to read the remorse there.

“Dad,” I began, but I couldn’t think of what to say that would justify how much I had lied to him.

His eyes met mine, and he stared deeply into them for a moment. As he examined my eyes, something in his expression wavered. Of course, my eyes were still mine but they had changed—I had noticed it immediately—they had a surreal luminous quality to them. His eyes wandered from mine to examine the rest of my face—Surely he could see the lack of imperfections.

Charlie started hyperventilating. His lips trembled. He was trying to understand something beyond understanding. Trying to force it to make sense when he didn’t have all the information.

Jacob got up and came over to pat Charlie on the back. He leaned in to whisper something in Charlie’s ear; only Charlie didn’t know we could all hear.

“Need to know, Charlie. It’s okay. I promise.”

Charlie swallowed and nodded. And then his eyes blazed as he took a step closer to Edward with his fists tightly clenched.

“I don’t want to know everything, but I’m done with the lies!”

“I’m sorry,” Edward said calmly, “but you only need to know so much. It’s to protect Beau, to protect all of us. No more lies, but can you go along with some necessary unknowns? For Beau’s sake?”

The room was full of statues. I crossed my legs.

Charlie huffed once and then turned his glare on me. “You might’ve given me some warning, kid.”

“Would it really have made this any easier?”

He frowned, and then he knelt on the floor in front of me. I could see the movement of the blood in his neck under his skin. I could feel the warm vibration of it.

Jacob reached out to pat Charlie’s shoulder, subtly pulling Charlie back away from me in the process. “Need to know, Charlie.”

Charlie cringed away from the contact.

“Oh, c’mon, Charlie,” Jacob groaned. “I’m the same person I’ve always been. Just pretend this afternoon didn’t happen.”

The reminder make Charlie’s lips go white, but he nodded once. “Just what isyour part in all this, Jake?” he asked. “How much does Billy know? Why are you here?” He narrowed his eyes at Jacob.

“Well, I could tell you all about it—Billy knows absolutely everything—but it involves a lot of stuff about werewo—”

“Ungh!” Charlie protested, covering his ears. “Never mind.”

Jacob grinned. “Everything’s going to be great, Charlie. Just try to not believe anything you see.”

My dad mumbled something unintelligible.

“Woo!” Emmett suddenly boomed in his deep bass. “Go Gators!”

Jacob and Charlie jumped. The rest of us froze.

Charlie recovered, then looked at Emmett over his shoulder. “Florida winning?”

“Just scored the first touchdown,” Emmett confirmed. He shot a look in my direction, wagging his eyebrows like a villain in vaudeville. “’Bout time somebody scored around here.”

I fought back a hiss. In front of Charlie? That was over the line.

But Charlie was beyond noticing innuendos. He took yet another deep breath, sucking the air in like he was trying to pull it down to his toes. I envied him. He lurched to his feet, stepped around Jacob, and half-fell into an open chair. “Well,” he sighed, “I guess we should see if they can hold on to the lead.”

[ikesenhell]

What The Trees Know

This is part ten of To Honor And Protect. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here. NOTE: Yes, I put up two in one night. I apologize... but I had to.

She was stiff and sore the next morning, but she just giggled recklessly at his fussing over her, wrapping those glorious thighs over his hip and dragging him into her. How could he feel anything but love when she was so vibrant? Even if he merged into one with her, it wasn’t close enough. His heart was hers, only hers, and he was so far gone he didn’t care. 

Bone-chilling wind swept through the library, their fire barely enough to keep up with it. They bundled together under a cloak. Sometimes her curls brushed against his shoulder as she read, turning pages with focused hands. 

“Anything interesting?” He asked softly, switching out his book for another. 

“It keeps jumping years,” she murmured. “This doctor wasn’t very consistent. I also don’t think he was a doctor.”

“No?”

“No. I think he was another mage.”

Thumbing his way through his notes, Mitsunari lapsed into thought. So if the monsters were bound to someone, who was it? Who was it that held such deep hatred? The timing made a kind of sense; if the Southern Kingdom and The City joined together now, their combined force might have delayed the invasion and turned the tide. And more importantly, how did one break a binding seal? Did the bound person have to come with the force, or could they stay behind? And--

He nearly lurched out of his skin when the Princess shot to her feet. 

“They’re the trees,” she gasped, and raced out of the town hall. 

“Princess!” Mitsunari staggered over the bench and righted himself, sprinting after her. Drizzle pelted against his cheeks as they tore through the village to the edge of the woods, her eyes searching every which way, book clutched in her fist. “Princess, what’s happening?”

“This way.” She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the canopy. The trees were thicker here, more haphazard, roots laced together and trunks bent inward like lovers. For a long while they crunched through the dead leaves, until finally they reached the edge of the woods and a cliff. 

And there--there on the very lip, driven deep into the earth, was a staff. 

It was a rusty iron thing, an obsidian ball set in the top. Faint bands of dark wood decorated the handle, a vine crawling eagerly around its base. Curious, Mitsunari stepped forward--and it began to glow from within. 

“What did you read?” He asked her.

“The last entry is dated three years ago.” She paused. “There was a plague. It was slow at first, then started coming quicker and quicker. About four years ago they knew they needed help, but since they were all mages...”

“They were marked.” Mitsunari paused. “Mages pick up the magic they’re around after long enough. It’s like an aura. No one would miss it. They knew they couldn’t go to the City for help.”

She held the book out, examining it at an arm’s length. “The last one is cryptic at best. He said he was leaving his staff behind and leaving the island. He said he was the only one left--he’d made sure of it, that he’d saved everyone who was left.”

That didn’t make much sense. Before he could say so, the Princess turned back towards the woods, her eyes wide. “And I thought the trees here were strange already.”

When he turned around to face them, he saw it, too--where once he’d simply thought them strange, now he knew. They bowed toward the staff, outstretched and longing, hundreds of people turned to nature itself. He could see the etched frames of faces high up in the boughs. Grandmothers with crows feet smiling toward the sun, children who never knew the grace of age, couples growing intertwined. Breath hitched in his throat.

But the Princess stepped to the closest one and put her hand on it, a woman’s face serene on the bark. Quietly, she pressed her ear to the trunk. 

“They aren’t angry,” she whispered. “I think they’re content.”

He stood stock still, horror caught in his throat. She slipped between the trees and he wondered what he would do to save her, to preserve her from the yawning mouth of the grave--what this unknown man already sacrificed for this power. 

The staff pulsed behind him. 

Stretching out his hand, he gripped the handle and pulled. It came easily from the dirt. A purple spark flickered and flashed in the sphere’s depths, swirling over his hand and arm, the grip reshaping to his palm. It felt prophetic somehow.

“Mitsunari?” The Princess called, watching him from the trees. He tested its weight with a swing. 

“I think it... wants to be used.” He tried it again, setting the end of it against the earth. Something rippled through his mind; once more he tapped it to the ground, feeling the surge of something primal searching him. “I’ve never seen one of these before. It’s a real staff. It’s meant to call on the magical tides.”

“Is it safe?” She asked. A fair question. He gripped it with both hands. 

“Maybe.” But he laughed. “That’s not reassuring. We’ll do a bit of research.”

Their mystery mage was a father and husband, as best as they could tell. Mitsunari cleaned the staff until it glowed in the fire, and edged carefully into the handle were three names: Lianna, Nahryah, Orsun. The symbol for ‘Loved Ones’ capped them all, a small ring around Lianna’s name to indicate marriage. Mitsunari took special care to not erase the inscription. 

“So what’s the difference between using your hands and using a staff?” The Princess asked. 

“A staff draws on more of the power around you.” Mitsunari waved a finger around his head. “You can be struck by lightning on your own, if you wait a while, but raising a sword above your head will draw it to you much better. It’s a conduit for the thing, as best as I understand--not that I’ve ever seen one personally, just illustrations.”

She frowned and sorted more of the books, still picking through them. “Practically speaking, do you think it could help us break the binding seal on those creatures? I imagine doing one on our own is a bit of a proposition.” 

“You’re right, and probably.” Mitsunari paused. “Though I can’t imagine how we’re going to practice with this thing. It feels ridiculous to go into a battle with a weapon you’ve never tested.”

“Maybe it’s better to think of it as an extension of an arm or something.” 

“Maybe.”

Mitsunari rubbed his thumb over the handle, considering each of the names, and all at once he could hear it. Whispers lapped at the very edge of his consciousness, swirling in the dark tidal waters of his brain. Reflexively he resisted it--then thought better of it. Quietly, he let them slip in one at a time. 

They were memories of a kind. Laughter and music from a wedding. The cry of a newborn. Squeals of children. A village festival. The huff of breath from a lover. Each of them passed through him like a wave, throbbing empty and echoing a single question through the cavern of his chest: what would you do if you were losing everything you loved?

“Mitsunari?” 

He blinked up at her. The Princess peered into his eyes, concern etched in hers. “Are you alright?”

“Me?” He asked, his voice a thousand miles away. What would he do if he lost her? A cavernous gulf hollowed out in the whole of his being, all she was surging and flowing through it, stemmed for now. Slowly he brushed his hand over her cheek, relishing the glow of it. “I think so.”

“What just happened?”

He twisted the staff in his hands. “I’m not sure.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“No.” Mitsunari paused, not certain how he knew that. “No. It just remembers what it means to be loved, and knows what it is to lose that.”

She didn’t ask him any more questions. Instead she slid into his arms and he squeezed her tight. Outside, the trees sang their wind-song. 

[one-direction-fan-fiction]

Chapter 7

(Harry POV)

i wake up the early next morning after the big dinner with Jess’s father and i am completely mentally drained. but it’s back to the studio today to work on some new music. i didn’t tell the guys about the dinner because i knew it would only make me more nervous then i already was. but i know i can’t keep anything from them for long...

i make it to the studio before the rest of the guys. sitting there alone in the studio i just run over all the events of last night through my head trying to figure out what i’m going to tell the boys. all the guys seem to arrive at the same time their faces lighting up when they see me sitting in the middle of the room with a guitar on my knee and a note pad laid out in front of me scribbles all across the yellow page. “hey, mates what took you so long?” i say cheerfully. “what on earth are you doing here so early?” Zayn asks. “wasn’t able to sleep... too much excitement last night.” they all look at me curiously. “big night with Jess?” Liam asks mockingly. “yes, but not the way you think you dirty minded fuckers.” i chuckle. “okay, if not that, then what?” Louis asks. “um, dinner with Jess... and her father.” they all look at me stunned. like i just told them the world was ending or something. “damn! how did that go?” Niall asks still a hint of surprise lasing his voice. i run through every event of last night telling them every detail and by the end of my story Niall had taken what i was writing before and finished it. he calls it “Last First Kiss”.

(Jess POV)

i have to say last night went better then i could have possibly imagined. my dad seems to truly like Harry and that’s surprising because my father always said ‘you’re not allowed to date until you’re 35.” which i never actually took seriously.

just as i’m getting out of bed there is a knock at the door. i open the door to reveal a smiling Ella. “morning, Jess! there’s someone here to see you.” my heart jumps. what if he found me. those pictures of me and Harry on our date just last week must be all over the internet by now. i’ve been trying to avoid social media since that night because i didn’t want to see what people where saying about me. though they probably don’t even know my name. Ella leaves me alone to get dressed. i take my time, my heart beating hard against my chest as the thought of seeing him again races around in my brain.

i stand in front of my bedroom door staring at it, memorizing it like it’s the last thing i may ever see. but, eventually i build up enough courage to open the door and walk down the stairs into the dinning room where everyone. my host family, my father and... “Elana?” the chatter stops and the all too familiar face turns to me lighting up when she sees my face. “Jess!!!” she squeals jumping up from the chair she was sitting in running over to wrap me in her arms. “what are you doing here?” i say now smiling back at her. “i live here in London! i saw those photos of you and Harry Styles downtown so i called your mother and she gave me the address.” she explains. “i’m so happy to see you! what has it been? 3 years.” then this time i hug her... and i never want to let her go again.

Elana has been my best friend since i was 3 years old up until her family up and moved to the UK 3 years ago. sure we kept in touch texting, calling, FaceTimeing but it wasn’t the same. i honestly thought i would never see her again.

we spend the rest of the morning talking and catching up about the pst 3 years. she asks everything about Harry but her main question is “are you happy?” and i almost start crying because i’ve honestly never been happier in my life! when it’s finally time for her to go back home she gives me her address so i can visit her and her parents (they are like second parents to me) before i go back.

everyone has cleared out and gone to bed... and i’m about to do the same when there is a knock on the door. i open it thinking it’s probably Elana forgetting something like usual. but instead i come face to face with the one person i NEVER wanted to see again... “Jay.” i say under my breath. a twisted happy smile creeps across his face but before he can say anything i instinctively slam the door in his face and run as fast as i can up to my room locking the door so he can’t get to me.

without even think about it i pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Harry almost like i’m on autopilot. it’s just habit i guess. since i met him (even before we started dating) he’s the one i would call when i felt anything or had something i wanted to talk about. he’s not just my boyfriends... he’s my best friend.

(Harry POV)

after a long day in the studio the guys and i are just packing up to go home when i get a call from Jess. i smile happy to hear from her. little did i know “Hey! i’ve been thinking about you all day. last night was really great don’t you think? i think your dad liked me.” i pause for her to answer but there’s just silence. “Jess?” i ask getting a little worried. then comes sniffles from the other end of the line. “... Harry.” i hear a weak painful voice coming from the other end of the phone. “Jess, what’s wrong?” i ask her looking up to see the guys looking up from whatever they where doing to see what was going on. concerned looks on all their faces. “he found me— he- he found me. god, what am i going to do? i— i’m so scared Harry.” my face just drops the tone of her voice draining all the energy from my body forcing me to fall back into the big armchair behind me. “who? who found you? are you in danger? what can i do?” i just keep asking questions not sure how else to help her. the guys all crowd around me looks of full terror on their faces now. “i— i just need you. can you... can you please just come over? i don’t want to be alone.” without another thought i spring to my feet grabbing my things and heading towards the door “i’ll be there in 15 minutes.” i hang up the phone but before i can actually leave the room there is a tight grip on my arm pulling me back. “WHAT?” i snap. “what’s going on mate? you’re freaking us out!” Louis says eyes wide at my hostel reaction. “sorry, i just need to get to Jess! somethings wrong and i need to be there for her. i’ll tell you more when i can but right now i just need to get to her.” i explain quickly pulling away from Louis’ grip and basically sprinting out the door.

(Jess POV)

i just sit in a ball on the floor of my bedroom just waiting for Harry to get here. when i hear his knock on the door i know i have to move so i can let him in... but i can’t move. but thankfully he has the good sense to just come in anyways and only seconds later he’s standing in front of me in my bedroom. “Jess?” he says as he walks ove crouching down in front of where i’m balled up on the floor. “what’s going on? you’ve got me really scared.” i take i deep shaky breath trying to calm down enough to actually speak. “is he gone? did you see him?” is the first thing i say. “no, no i didn’t see anybody. why? is someone threatening you?” i look up at him my cheeks stained from my fallen tears. “there’s something i need to tell you. but before i do i need you to promise me something.” he just nods at me to continue. “i need you to promise me that no matter what i tell you tonight... you’ll still look at me the way you looked at me before.” a small smile streatches across his lips. “i promise. there is nothing you could ever tell me that would make me feel any different about you. okay?” i nod back at him talking another deep breath.

“okay, so about two years ago i was dating this guy. it was a classic shy girl falls for bad boy thing. i just didn’t realize how bad he really was. after six mounts together he had gone way over the line and had robbed a gas station. he got caught and was sent to prison for 1 year. while he was in there i just couldn’t take it anymore. he had crossed a line that he couldn’t come back from... so i ended it.” i pause taking yet another deal breath to prepare myself for what i have to say next. “and about six mounts ago he got out. the first thing he did was track me down because he was pissed that i left him.” i stop again tears welling up in my eyes at the memory. “he blind sided me one day after school. pulling me into some abandoned wearhouse with no one around for miles. the next thing i know he’s screaming at me pushing me to the ground and beating the crap out of me. i called out for help... but no one was around to hear it.” i can’t even look him in the eyes knowing that what comes next might change everything. “once i was weak and powerless on the ground he stood over me bent down and physically ripped my cloths off my bruised, bleeding body... he raped me... and there was nothing i could do to stop it. and now he’s back. he just showed up at my front door.” the room falls into complete silence. i can’t even bring myself to look at Harry i’m so embarrassed.

(Harry POV)

as i sit there listening to the horrific things that had happened to her i can feel myself getting angrier and angrier just knowing that someone out there had hurt her like that. i’m just speechless i don’t even know what to say. i don’t know what i can say. nothing will erase what happened to her. “WHY ISNT THIS ASSHOLE IN PRISON?!?!” i practically yell i’m so angry. “because... as i was laying there in a hospital bed with a broken arm, cracked ribs, internal bleeping in my stomach and brain, and bruises all across my body i- i was embarrassed. so i didn’t tell anyone. i just stayed there as a Jane Doe until all the visible injuries had healed. you’re the first person i’ve told.” she explains. it doesn’t make any sense to me! “well, now that he’s here we need to go to the police!!” i say all ready to go. but she pulls me back. “no! i can’t he’ll kill me. plus i need to tell my dad first. but right now i just really need some sleep. can you stay with me?” i can’t help but agree.

“fine, but i’m staying on the floor. don’t need your dad hating me. i’ll go find a blanket and pillow and i’ll set up on the floor next to your bed.” i explain to her. she nods forcing a tight smile.

i come back and set up my ‘bed’ leaving the door open so that nobody thinks anything weird happened or something. i tuck Jess into bed kissing her on the forehead before cozying into my floor bed. “goodnight.” i whisper as i drift off into a restless sleep.

[savingacadia]

Byler prompt: the boys are trying to immitate their older siblings by lamely attempting to hunt a monster and spend the whole time trying to convince themselves they're not hopelessly in love (in the end they're happy and gay) they're also super bad at monster hunting but think they're great.

Losing Our Minds (Byeler One-Shot) I remember the first morning I woke up and didn’t know where I was. The blood raced through my body like a torrent and I broke out into a violent cold sweat. The room was dark and the musty smell polluted every shaking breath. The sketches hung on the wall of horrific creatures made my blood run cold. I noticed my mouth hanging open as if I were going to say something. A name lingered at my trembling lips like a sweet aftertaste. My brain felt like it was being crushed in a vice grip. It was like my body was petrified with fear and yet my mind was slipping through my shivering fingers. Urgency banged at my ribcage with every shallow breath, begging me to flee, and still the fear couldn’t fill my fading thoughts. My mentality was failing so quickly it never even occurred to me to wonder why. I mindlessly stared at the yellow wall. Or was it blue? Was blue the color of leaves? As I struggled to remember exactly what a leaf was, I finally blacked out. That’s when I saw it.

I woke up in the upside down, grasping at the ash shrouded ground as I gasped for a breath of toxic air. As I wheezed I felt a hot pain dripping down the back of my neck. I slowed brought my hand to my neck, sliding it across the slippery coat of blood until it hit something hard. A parasite with teeth like dull knives had sunk its mouthful of long fangs into my neck and latched onto my spine. My eyes grew wide with terror, stinging dryly in the poison air. I did the only thing I could think to do and sat up only to painful slam myself back to the ground. I felt the teeth of the creature tickling the sides of the holes it had pierced in my flesh as it pulled out of my muscles to let out a deafening screech of pain. Quickly, I pulled at the muscles of my abdomen and they burned from how out of shape I was, then I quickly threw myself down again, the heavy impact throbbing in my brain. The creature detached and I dizzily scrambled to my feet, flurries of dust puffing up from the ground in clouds. I spun around to examine the monster. It looked like a bug-eyed platypus with skin stretched so tight it could have been a fossil. Its ghastly head was much too large for its shriveled body and it was a pale ashy color aside from the ruby red blood that dripped down its horrific teeth and dribbled down its chin as it snarled at me. Suddenly I became aware of the crimson river flowing down my neck, and I only had so much time before I would faint and wake up back home in my room. How could I have forgotten my room? And the name I was going to call out. It was coming back to me.Mike. I spun around and sprinted with all the strength I could muster. I had to get away from this creature before there was nothing left of me but a body.

“We have to kill it,” Mike insisted, no sign of emotion on his motionless face. He turned to me with fire in his eyes, “We have to kill it before it kills you,” Mike elaborated as he crushed my icy fingers in his heated grip. My energy disappeared into weak fear as I imagined facing that deadly creature again, and a shiver ran down my spine at the memory of my life running down my back in lethal drops of scarlet.

Fat drops of salty water welled in my helpless eyes as I whispered to Mike, “You don’t know what it was like.” I blinked and the wet tears tickled my cheeks as they fled down my face. “I-” I shook my head, attempting to begin again, “I don’t think it was going to kill me.”

“What do you mean?” Mike asked gently as he moved his face closer to mine. I could smell the fresh minty toothpaste on his morning breath as the humidity of it prickled my face. I fluttered my eyes to clear my vision and he was so close I could see each individual pore in his face. I could have counted his freckles. I took a deep breath as I tried to think how to explain something I didn’t even understand.

“The Thought Eater,” came out of my mouth before I was even aware of it. My eyes widened in realization and my pulse rapidly began banging on my chest like a prisoner. The Thought Eater was a monster in Dungeons and Dragons. It fed on thoughts and its favorite snack was psionic abilities. Here I was, Will the wise with True Sight that allowed me to pass freely between the Upside Down and home, always existing in both but only aware in one. The Thought Eater was feeding on me from the Upside Down, even while I was in my room, sitting on my bed and talking to Mike.

The next thing I knew I was out on Mirkwood all alone. I couldn’t remember how I had gotten there or where I was supposed to be going. I felt skittish as my head flew around me, looking for a clue. I felt something on my back and my heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe as I jumped, startled by the sudden and unforeseen seen fear.

“Hey, you okay?” Mike asked, pulling me out of my panic as I turned to see my friend with his supportive hand on my back. His eyebrows pulled close together and his lips gaped just slightly as he looked at my ghastly face.

I shook my head as if to clear it. “Yeah,” I lied as my body began to calm. I walked down the street next to Mike, feeling as though my legs may buckle under me at any moment. “What are you wearing?” I laughed, trying to make light of the situation as I observed the cold of the oversized black leather jacket he wore. The sleeves came down too far, just past the heel of his hands, and it slumped over his shoulders like an old lazy cat.

“It’s leather,” Mike defended. “I thought it might be too thick for the Thought Eater.” He self-consciously pulled the sleeves over his palms.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his overzealous preparation for monster hunting. “You’re an idiot,” I teased, smiling up at the sharp angles of his face.

“Be positive,” Mike commanded, a small smile playing at the corner of his smooth young lips.

“Okay, I’m positive that you’re an idiot,” I replied, my face nearly in pain as my muscles stretched around the huge grin of pride on my face. To my delight, Mike’s eyes lit up like candles at night as he laughed with me.

In a blink, I was standing in the middle of a clearing I didn’t recognize. The grass below my feet was dead. Mike calmly marched around the circumference with a rusty tin of petrol, dumping copious amounts of fuel on the ground. Once he had emptied the entire gallon he carelessly tossed the prism container out into the trees, clapping his hands against each other like erasers as he stumbled over the uneven ground and approached me. I could smell the gasoline on his hands and laced in his clothing and hair as he grabbed my shoulders and asked, “Do you remember the plan?” The gasoline made me feel woozy as I drowsily looked up at Mike’s determined expression.

I wasn’t even sure what I told him as the next moment he was violently holding me from behind and holding an old wet handkerchief over my mouth and nose. A sickly sweet smell polluted my senses and I felt like my body was shutting down and I desperately grabbed at Mike’s strong arms to pull them away. My muscles grew weak and I no longer felt the ability to fight back. I dropped my aching arms and Mike carefully laid my tired body on the ground, continuing to hold the soaked rag to my face. I timidly looked up into Mike’s eyes where his dark brown curls began to droop into his face, terrified and unsure why he was doing this. Worse I had the undeniable feeling like I had forgotten something. Something important.

I opened my eyes, wide awake, and there was that feeling again, like my thoughts were just slipping away. I didn’t stop to think why the sky had grown so dark or what this place was that I had woken up in where ash and decay were the norm. I grew distracted by a grey flake floating past my face. I felt cold and numb. Or was it hot? What was hot again? I began to sneeze. That was the thing where your lungs burn, right? I couldn’t see because the air was too thick to inhale, and I fell to my elbows of my legs becoming a mindless shell of what was once William Byers.

I gasped in the smoky air, sitting up quickly. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead from the heat of the fire surrounding me. I looked out and saw the black silhouette of my messiah against the raging tall flames of glowing orange. I uncontrollably coughed again as the black smoke swirled in my lungs. The dark figure walked toward me and I couldn’t help feeling I had forgotten something important. My face became wet as the features of the boy came into my view. Why was my face wet? Why did my stomach flip as he came nearer? Was he dangerous? The tension in his set jaw and his furious eyes terrified me. I tried to back away, flailing my hands and feet to push my body away, but I was trapped in this ring of fire. He grabbed my shoulder with painful force and flipped open a shiny pocket knife as he rounded my back. I winced as I prepared for him to murder me and was horrified when deafening shriek rang in my ears, vibrating my brain to the point I thought I would explode.

I felt the hot blood racing down my back as the creature released me and scurried into the center of the burning circled with a knife sticking out of its back. My eyes widened as my consciousness came flooding back. I was paralyzed on the ground with fear, knowing that parasite had consumed my mind and nearly erased me. I brought it here. This was the plan. Mike put me under so I could let it hunt me, latch onto me, and when I woke up we would trap it in a ring of fire, and kill it. I pushed myself to my feet with my sore limbs and stood next to Mike to face the creature of nightmares. It limped where the knife stuck through its boney figure as it cautiously backed away from the two of us. It snarled, blood raining off its bill into a pool on the ground as we began moving to opposite sides to corner it. Panicked, the Thought Eater charged at Mike. It leapt into his face and I was powerless to stop as his feet came out from under him and he landed on his back, wincing in pain as he struggled to hold the gnarling monster at bay. I pounded my feet into the trodden ground trying to get to him, sweat from the heat pouring down my face in drops and matting my hair to my sticky forehead. I watched on helplessly as the terror opened its big bill and sank its enormous teeth into Mike’s neck. I pushed on faster, the taste of copper bleeding into the back of my throat. My lungs felt like they were being pricked by a thousand needles and I couldn’t breathe, and still I pushed forward. I got to the scene and realized I didn’t have any weapons; I didn’t know what to do. I hopelessly watched it feeding on Mike’s thoughts. He looked at me like he didn’t know me and I shattered. I angrily grabbed the handle of the knife and ripped it out of the Thought Eater’s back. It didn’t bleed. The creature was completely lifeless inside. I screamed as I jammed the knife into the back of its titanic head and it immediately released Mike to screech out in pain. I pulled up on the knife, carrying the parasite by the blade where it was impaired, and mindlessly held it out into the wall of fire. The Thought Eater’s shrill shrieking as it burned brought tears to my eyes and the scent of its burning flesh was nauseating. The metal handle of the knife began to heat up and it was burning the palm of my hand, and still I refused to stop until I was sure it was dead. The creature finally silenced and I watched the last traces of its shriveled skin drip off the cartoonish skull that hung from the knife. Finally, I screamed and dropped the remnants into the fire, falling to my knee’s and gripping my wrist as I examined my blistering hand.

“Mike?” I called out. The adrenaline had finally melted away with the monster and I was left with the horror of everything I had been through in the last 24 hours. “Mike!” I yelled out desperately. Did it kill him? I moved to look around me to try to see where he was when a tall figure walked around from behind me and knelt down before me. I looked up into his deep brown eyes where the reflection of the fire burned and lost it. I began sobbing as I rammed my head into his hard chest and he wrapped his leather-clad arms around me. I cradled my burnt hand between us as I swung the other around his waist to grip at a fistful of the dark tee shirt he wore under his jacket.

“Shhh,” Mike hushed as he pushed the wet hair out of my face and cradled my head to his chest. “It’s all over now.” I could tell he was just as scared as I was, but Mike would always channel his emotions into his caring actions. Mike’s slender fingers traced down my jaw until they found my damp chin and he tilted my face slightly upward. Carefully he placed a gentle kiss on my sweaty forehead before pulling my entire body closer to his. Our chests collided and I slowed my breathing to meet his. The front of his shirt grew damp in the excruciating heat of the fire and all I could smell was authentic Mike. It intoxicated my thoughts and calmed me more with every inhale.

“Mike?” I asked, finally looking up at him. A bead of sweat was sliding down his cheekbones like it was a waterfall and the curls on his forehead were pasted to his face. The rest of his dark mop was disheveled and tangled. He looked up at me with soft expectation. “We’re not very good at this, are we?”

“What makes you say that?” He questioned.

“Well did you bring anything to put out the fire?” I quizzed. Realization passed over his face when he understood that we had trapped ourselves until the fuel burned out. Wordlessly he pushed off the heavy leather jacket, tossing it to the side. He never took his rich eyes away from mine as he began to pull the drenched black tee shirt over his head, inch by inch revealing the tight pale skin of his flat stomach underneath. Mike sat up on his knees so that he towered over me, scooting himself so close I could feel his hot breath drying the moist sweat on my face. My air hitched in my throat as he placed his hands on my shoulders and began pushing off the blue flannel I wore, his face grew so close that our wet foreheads were stuck together as he pulled the sleeves off my sticky wrists. Our mouths were so close I could feel Mike breathing me to life in every inhale. His hands grabbed the hem of my white tee shirt and I felt the electricity pulse through me as his fingers brushed the bare skin of my hips. He began sliding the fabric up my sides, vitalizing my senses with elation. I lifted my arms into the air so he could pull the damp tee shirt over my head. As Mike tossed the shirt aside, I noticed that the back had been stained crimson with blood and a shiver ran down my spine. Mike laid down on his side, pulling me by the hand to join him. Timidly, I turned myself over on the dead grass next to him. I felt Mike’s hot sticky chest press up against my back as he wrapped a protective arm around my stomach. It was excruciatingly hot and our sweat was pooling at every point of contact, yet I felt calm. My exhaustion from the day was beginning to make my eyes droop with drowsy weight. 

I woke up shivering. I was freezing and understood why when I opened my eyes to the black night. The fire was gone and the only light came from the bright moon and the stars littered across the cool night sky. I turned over in Mike’s arms to find that he was still comfortably asleep. His delicate eyes and his soft lips looked so fragile under the deep blue sky. His chest was coated with dried blood from the back of my neck where the Thought Eater had latched on. He looked so beautiful.