#let me update operation wax and then i’ll get working on this one i promise 😭

[draconabraxas]

WHEN DID PARADOXICAL PILGRIMAGE GET SO MANY HITS AND KUDOS????

[ve1vetyoongi]

Operation: Love Letters | 01

💌 CHAPTER INDEX 💌

♡ ⇢ pairing: ot7 x reader.

♡ ⇢ chapter word count: 5k

♡ ⇢ genre: mystery, college!au, romance, fluff, eventual smut.

♡ ⇢ warnings/rating: none, PG.

♡ ⇢ summary: When every student on campus is going crazy about a survey that claims to make true love bloom, your best friend manages to convince you to join in on the fun — except you’re disappointed to find out that your results just seem to be lost causes. That is until a love letter from a mysterious secret admirer turns up and you find yourself on a mission to find the person behind the pen — but you quickly realise it’s going to be a lot harder than you initially thought when you have 7 possible bachelors to investigate, right? Operation: Love Letters a-go!

♡ ⇢ schedule: updated every day at 5pm GMT in the run up to Valentine’s Day 2020!

💌 A/N: hello! i’ve been working on this series for a couple weeks now and it makes me so happy to finally be able to share it in the run up to valentines day! as the story progresses, there’ll be a ton of clues dropped about who the identity of the secret admirer is before the final reveal...so keep reading to find out! i hope you like it hehe, drop me an ask and lemme know your theories!! <3

Sign up for the Love Calculator today in the gym and find your perfect match, just in time for Valentine's day!

You scoff as you read the flier you crumple in your hand. It's that time of year again, huh? February. Valentine's. The month of love.

Yeah right.

Every year your college holds a charity event for Valentines day. You fill out a survey nicknamed the Love Calculator, where you answer so called "deep" questions about yourself and most importantly what you look for in a Valentine's date — and then a computer analyses your answers and, for just a couple bucks, works some cupid style magic and matches you up with your ‘most compatible’ person on campus.

The instructions say you're supposed to send a love letter to your number one match. And if they respond? Then it's a match made in heaven! Insert eye roll here.

It's conceited really, just a ploy to draw money out of the student body with the promise of true love — which is exactly why you've never joined in with the hype before.

Until this year, that is, when your best friend Jimin, ever the hopeless romantic, managed to convince you to sign up. Which is how you find yourself in the gymnasium, surrounded by heart shaped balloons and the cheesy cover of I Wanna Know What Love Is that plays over head, stuffed into a booth as you fold up your survey and scribble your name on the front with a roll of your eyes.

Jimin's beanie falls across his face as he excitedly rummages around in the satchel slung across his torso to fish around for a pencil, hopping from foot to foot as he places delicate crosses in the boxes beside Male and Looking for a soulmate.

"I still don't know about this." You murmur as you tap your foot and stare down at the pink piece of paper in your hand, nerves brewing inside you for a reason you can't quite put your finger on. There’s a reason you’ve never done this before -- what if you get someone weird as your first match? Or worse what if you aren’t compatible with anyone at all and you find out you’re destined to be painfully alone forever?

This is definitely a bad idea. You should just rip your survey up right now and throw it in the trash and nobody would ever have to know you even came here, even if just to entertain your best friend's fantasies.

But Jimin is too fast, snatching it from your fingers before you can protest and pulling you gleefully by the elbow over to the Calculation Station where he slides both of your surveys over to the cheerleader manning the desk with a dazzling smile, all much to your dismay.

"Oh come on, lighten up!" He says, clasping his hands together wistfully as he eagerly watches the cheerleader input your data into the computer. "This is gonna be so fun! Who knows? Maybe I'll match someone really hot and we'll get married and adopt the cutest babies ever--."

"Or you could match with a crazy serial killer." You interrupt with a raise of your brow.

Jimin shrugs. "I guess that would suck, but it would make an awesome Netflix Original. I'd totally get famous and win an oscar and—” He drags you over to the counter when he notices the cheerleader beckoning you with a finger. “Too late now anyway, our results are ready!"

The printer beside the desk spits out two pieces of paper, and the cheerleader glances over them with a nod before folding them up carefully and handing them over to you with a wink.

"Have a good day, and don't forget to spread the love!" She says, and you offer her a sheepish smile as you take your results.

Jimin is already pulling you out of the gym and into the hallway, finding a quiet corner where he eagerly unfolds his page with a grin that falls right from his face when he reads the names littered across his page surrounded by a plethora of hearts.

"What the heck! Are you kidding me?" Jimin thrusts his results beneath your nose so you can read the names for yourself. "I got Park Chanyeol as my number one match?"

You bite back a laugh. Jimin and Chanyeol had a fling last summer, but it ended on a sour note when Chanyeol ended up being allergic to Jimin's pet kitten who he refused to part with for anyone, no matter how hot.

"Maybe it was meant to be after all?" You laugh as Jimin crumples up his results and throws them into a nearby trash can with a childish pout.

"You were right. It was dumb. I would've been better off matching with a serial killer." Jimin grumbles, shoulders slumping forward as his dreams of true love crumble. He perks up when he notices you wringing your own results in your hands though, paper still sealed tightly. "Come on, your turn! Let's see who you got."

"Maybe I should just throw this in the trash, too. You said it yourself, the survey was dumb anyway." You shrug.

"Nope. I'm not letting you get away that easily." Jimin clasps his hands together, looking up at you with a pout. "Please? For me?"

You have to admit, there’s a strange fluttery feeling in your stomach as you turn the paper over in your hands. Who knows? Maybe Jimin was right, and the love of your life’s name was printed right on this here paper, and you were wasting your chance. 

To hell with it! What's the worst that could happen, right?

"Fine! I'll open it."

Jimin claps giddily and with strangely shaky hands you unfold the paper, Jimin crowding around with his chin on your shoulder so you can both read your results.

Wow. You gaze down at the list of names you've never even heard of, strangely disheartened. You aren’t sure what you were expecting but this is not exactly the life changing love story you were promised when you handed over five bucks to that cheerleader just now.

You can't help but feel your stomach drop. Are you seriously disappointed? It's not like you had high hopes for this thing in the first place.

"Well damn," You crumple up the paper and drop it into your backpack with a chuckle, joining the hustle and bustle of students walking to class. "That was totally a waste of time."

Jimin pats your shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, you never know, someone could get your name and send you a love letter."

You raise your brows. "I appreciate the positivity but I don't think that's very likely."

“Don’t be such a downer! It’s the month of love after all.” Jimin slows down, heading towards the bathrooms. "I'll catch you up okay? All this excitement made me need to pee!" And with that he disappears into the little boy's room with an air kiss sent your way.

With a fond shake of your head you head towards your locker, thumbing in your combination and lurching open the metal door -- but your forehead furrows when something small and pink unexpectedly floats out and lands beside your feet.

"Huh?"

You bend down, fingers curling around a pearly pink envelope, eyes widening when you see who it's addressed to. You.

You turn it over in your hands, glancing side to side with narrowed eyes, but seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Could this be what you think it is? A love letter? Only one way to find out...

Your thumb slides beneath the heart shaped wax seal, hands trembling as you shake out the note folded up neatly inside and let your eyes fly across the messy words scrawled in pink pen with a gasp.

Your heart thumps. Your shaky fingers have left crumples along the edges of the paper, and you know you should throw it away before you even entertain the idea that this is real, let alone meant for you.

But your eyes keep tracing the pen strokes, the neat and even but unsteady handwriting; a nervous hand wrote this letter, you realise. A boy's hand. The letters are slanted just enough to tell, and there's smudges of ink where their wrist dragged carelessly across the page.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

You jump at the sound of your name and shove the letter between the pages of a text book before slamming your locker closed just in time to flash your best friend what you hope is as close to a non-suspicious smile as you can muster as he bounds up the hall towards you.

"You ready to go to class?" Jimin asks, holding out his elbow and you nod. "It's a shame about the Love Calculator results huh? But who knows! Maybe we'll find Valentine's some other way."

"Yeah." You nod with a small smile, lost in thought as your mind drifts back to the love letter stowed away in your locker. "Maybe."

A smile appears on your lips. Maybe your results aren't so useless after all.

"From your secret admirer..."

You finish reading the love letter you found addressed to you in your locker with a triumphant smile, expecting a far more enthusiastic reaction from your roommate Yoongi. who just peers at you over the lid of his laptop with a bored expression.

"That's it?" He blinks. "You really paid five bucks for that?" He offers you a roll of his eyes as he watches you dance around your apartment waving around a piece of pink paper excitedly. "They didn't even leave their name?"

"Well duh," You slump down beside him on the couch, clutching the note to your chest and sending him an eye roll. "That would defeat the purpose of a secret admirer."

Yoongi just scoffs and goes back to his work with a shake of his head. "I can't believe you even did that stupid Love Caluclator thing. It's probably just a scam, anyway."

You pout, smoothing out the corners of the letter attentively. "You're just jealous nobody sent you a love letter." 

Yoongi crosses his arms, flustered. "Am not! For your information I didn't even do the survey. Why would I care about what the results of a dumb survey have to say, anyway?"

You cock your head at him and dangle your results in front of his face teasingly. "Oh, so you won’t want to know who I matched with then if it's so dumb?"

He narrows his eyes with a puff, before snatching the paper with a shake of his head. "Fine. But only because you insisted."

You watch with a smug smile as Yoongi drags his finger down the list, distaste etched into his features as he reads each name out loud in turn before he splutters around the very last one.

"Hold up. You got me?" He chokes, holding up the page and pointing to where his name is printed in bold pink letters. Yoongi averts his eyes when you bust out laughing, crumpling up the paper and lobbing it at you with a scoff. "What did I tell you? It's dumb."

You clutch your sides and prod him with your foot as he grumbles under his breath. "Why? I thought you weren't scared of what a silly little survey has to say?"

"I'm not scared. Like I said, it's clearly a scam." Yoongi's cheeks heat up and he flashes you a look that tells you to quit teasing. "And this proves it."

"Oh don't get so worked up, Yoongi. I'm just messing with you." You unfold the paper and point to the biography beneath his name. "It says here we're only 10% compatible anyway, which kinda makes sense when you think about it. I'm a pretty decent roommate after all, right?"

Yoongi pushes away your results and buries his nose in a textbook instead. "You're being a pretty annoying roommate right now."

"Hey! Can you at least concentrate on this for a second? My love life finally gets interesting and you decide to do homework?"

Yoongi slams his book shut and finally turns to face you. "Jeez, Y/N, how can you even be sure the love letter isn't just...a prank or something? You're probably just wasting my time and your own getting caught up in it."

"Wow, you really have no faith in me huh?" You roll your eyes. "Because I just know. Whoever wrote this letter wanted me to read it. They left it in my locker on purpose! Is it so bad that I wanna know why?"

"Next thing I know you'll tell me you're going to actually try and find this person." Yoongi laughs breathily, but when he sees how you stare at him, arms crossed and unblinking, he lets out a groan. "Wait. You can't be serious?"

"Well why not?" You shrug. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"How do you even plan on finding them? All you have is a crumpled up note and a list of matches."

"Honestly, I haven't thought that far yet..." It's then that Yoongi turns the page of his textbook and a folded up note flutters onto the carpet. "Wait...what's this?"

He just shrugs, not even bothering to look up as you open up the paper. "I don't know. Must have been inside that book."

"Is it yours?"

Yoongi shakes his head, leaning back in his seat to stretch like he's exhausted by your interrogation. "Taehyung checked it out of the library this morning. He said I could borrow it. Why?"

Your eyes widen when you see what is written on the piece of paper in front of you.

"Hey! Look at this." You punch Yoongi in the shoulder, ignoring his ow! to run your fingers over the pen marks on the paper. "Don't the scribbles seem familiar to you?"

Yoongi rubs his arm with a bored expression. "I mean, I guess?"

"Goddammit, Min Yoongi! Would you take this seriously?" You fumble around in your pocket for the love letter, placing them side by side on the table, heart skipping a beat when you take in the similarities between the two. "Take a look at the handwriting. It's totally written by the same guy!"

Yoongi's own eyes widen, pursing his lips as he nods. "So what? Now you know he had a Bio quiz last week. Hundreds of students sat that test."

A smile grows on your face as an idea strikes you, and you rip the book from his grip. "Yeah, but how many of those students took out this exact book from the library?"

"I don't know — probably a few — hey!" He reaches for you as you get to your feet, but he's too late, and you're already taking off with his textbook. "Where are you going with that! I need to study!"

"I'll be back in a few hours, I promise." You call as you slip on your shoes and slide the book into your backpack."I just need to get to the bottom of who sent me this love letter first!"

It's almost silent in the campus library when you arrive, apart from the scratch of pens against paper from students with their heads bent over text books and the repetitive classical music that floats through the book shelves like a calming wave.

You head over to the check out desk in search of some guidance, perhaps able to interrogate the poor kid on duty about what he knows about the text book, but it's empty, and no matter how many times you ring the little bell on the counter, nobody comes.

With a sigh you duck behind the closest towering book case, dumping your bag so you can get down to business by yourself. Even if you had to search high and low, you had to find where this book came from. Surely it would give you a clue as to who sent you the love letter, right?

Blowing dust off an old stack of books, you drag your finger across the spines until you reach the B section, tongue between your teeth as you mindlessly thumb through books on Baking and Beaches and Birds before you come to a stop where you should come across Biology...except all that you find is a gaping hole that matches perfectly with the size and shape of book in your hands.

Dang. Already a dead end? Maybe Yoongi was right...hundreds of people could've checked out this book so this was probably a dumb clue anyway.

You're about to give up when a flash of a red sweater catches your eye through the gap in the shelf. There in the corner sits a lanky boy, so tall his legs stick out from beneath the desk he inhabits by the window. His fingers play with a silver pen, but he's not interested in the open notebook perched in front of him with lines half filled, too busy wiping away the condensation on the glass and gazing out at the hustle and bustle of the city in rush hour that juxtaposes the quiet company of books and dust he resides among.

Huh. Something strikes you about this dude, but you can’t quite put your finger on it yet. You duck behind the book shelf, moving a couple books to the side so you can peer between the leather spines to get a better look, and it's then that you notice the text book propped open beside him — Biology 101 — an exact copy of the one tucked beneath your elbow.

"Do you need help with something?"

You jolt when a pair of dark eyes appear and stare right back at you through the gap in the bookshelf, making you drop  the textbook with a crash that elicits a series of harsh shhh! sounds from nearby. Upon further inspection you quickly realise it's the same guy you were spying on just moments ago, staring at you intently now as you stammer to form a response.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people?" You grumble, clutching your chest and dipping down to grab the book and simultaneously hide your burning cheeks.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He says, notebook deserted on the table behind him now so he can peer at you curiously through the shelves with a smirk. "It's just you looked sorta lost so I thought I'd offer my assistance."

He points to the name tag pinned to his sweater with a grin. Kim Namjoon — Librarian. Hold up...where have you heard that name before?

Oh god...you totally got his name in the Love Calculator Survey! Awkward.

It's okay, maybe he doesn't recognise you...

"It's Y/N, right?" He says as he straightens the books you knocked down earlier and thrusts a hand through the shelf for you to shake.

Dang it.

"That's me..." You take his hand with a sheepish smile, eager to escape the situation by walking to the end of the book case, but he just follows you, eyes bobbing above the spines of old books. "Wait..this might sound weird, but you don't know that because you happened to send me an anonymous letter do you?"

"Uh..." He's much taller when you finally step out of the aisle and come face to face, and he peers down at you intrigued but with confusion still evident in his voice. "No?"

Phew.

"Good to know. Just checking." He seems to find your rambling funny, biting back a smile as you jerk the Bio text book towards him. "Then uh, yeah, actually. I do need help. Have you seen this before?"

He scans the front, nodding his head slowly. "Biology 101. Yup, I've seen it. I might be wrong but I think that probably came from the science aisle."

You roll your eyes at his sarcasm. "No, I mean, have you seen it anywhere suspicious. Like someone shady reading it in a dark corner or smuggling it out of the library like drug cartel—"

"Nope. Pretty sure I saw a guy with blue hair check it out this morning though if that's who you're looking for?"

Taehyung. Damn it!

"Not quite." You cross your arms with a sigh before an idea strikes you. "Hey, is there any way you can see who checked this book out before?"

"I mean, yeah." Namjoon lifts the hatch of the check out desk and slips behind, flipping the book open to the first page and typing a couple numbers into the computer. "If I just scan this barcode..." You watch as he scans the book and turns the monitor towards you so you can watch as a document loads up. "It should give us a list of people who checked it out this semester."

An involuntary gasp leaves you when you read the list of names that pops up on the screen, eyes wide as you lower your voice to a whisper. "Is there any way I could get a copy of this?"

"Yeah, sure." Namjoon hits a button and the printer beside him spits out a mirror image of the document on his screen. You snatch it up with a breathy laugh, shoving it into your backpack and fishing around for your phone, thumbs moving across the screen at the speed of light to punch in a phone number you know by heart.

It quickly dawns on you that this mystery might be bigger than you ever expected -- and you wouldn’t be able to solve it alone. No. It was time to bring in the big guy. Park Jimin.

"Nah this shit is legit legit!" Jimin splutters as he flops back onto your bed. He's still in his cheer costume, rushing over to your place as soon as practice ended and he got the SOS call, and he let's out a gasp as his wide eyes scan the love letter for the nth time.

"So you'll help me find out who wrote it?"

"Duh. You know I love a mystery and a cheesy romcom story arc. You're, like, totally going to marry this guy and live happily every after." Jimin clutches his chest, eyes dreamy as he peers at you over the rim of his round lens glasses. "And if you don't I totally will!"

"Hey!" Jimin erupts into a fit of giggles when you launch a throw cushion at his face. "This isn't a movie, Park. I just wanna know who sent it. Ya know...for clarity." You wrinkle your nose when Jimin's narrowed eyes prod you to admit otherwise. Of course you weren’t actually interested in this love letter guy. Right? "Don't look at me like that! It's probably just some stupid prank anyway..."

You hug your torso with a frown. What if Yoongi was right and this was just a wild goose chase and you were falling right into the clutches of the perpetrator? What if instead of a secret admirer the love letter trail led to nothing but humiliation?

"Well there's only one way to find out." Jimin jumps to his feet, pacing the room for a few seconds with his hand on his chin before an idea strikes him and he starts and ripping down the schedules and homework reminders from the pinboard above your desk like a man possessed. “We have to get to the bottom of this mystery ASAP. And lucky for you, you’ve got me to help you.”

"How?" You inquire, watching curiously as he rummages through your drawers to retrieve a pot of push pins and a ball of red string that you just so happened to have lying around. Without further ado, he rips the cap off a pink sharpie to scrawl Operation: Love Letters in big letters at the top of a sticky note, pinning it in the center.

"It's certainly not environmentally friendly, but I've always wanted to make a murder board...although I suppose this is more of a romance board?" He lays out the pieces of evidence you have already gathered on the carpet; the love note from your secret admirer, the biology book scribbles, the list of library book borrowers and last but not least your Love Calculator survey results. "But as your best friend it is my duty to call the official investigation into Y/N's secret admirer to action." He grins. "So, what clues do we have so far?"

"Well we know that my secret admirer has to have been one of the people on this list who borrowed Biology 101." You grab a highlighter pen from the pot on your desk. "Hey look! A couple of the names on this list match up with my Love Calculator results."

Jimin's eyes light up as you start drawing circles around the names that correspond with both lists.

"Jung Hoseok, Kim Seokjin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook, Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon..." Jimin reads, nibbling the eraser of a pencil thoughtfully. "Kim Namjoon. Isn't that the guy you spoke to at the library?"

"Yup." You confirm. "But he didn't seem to know anything about the love letters, so I think we can rule him out of the investigation."

"Cool. But maybe he knows someone who does?" Jimin says, crossing his name off the suspect list but scribbling his name onto a post it note next to the words POSSIBLE ACCOMPLICE? and pinning it next to the list of library borrowers, connecting the two with a piece of red string. 

"And we know right off the bat that it's not Yoongi," Jimin draws a line through Yoongi's name on the list. "So we've narrowed it down to four potential bachelor's. Jung Hoseok, Kim Seokjin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook. Now we just need to find out if any of them had a motive to send you this letter. Any ideas?"

You ponder for a second, eyes fixated on the unfamiliar names on the list, before shaking your head negative. "I mean, I've probably seen each them around campus a couple times?"

Jimin looks unimpressed. "That's all you can come up with? No secret romantic rendezvous or crazy drunken hookups I don't know about?"

It's your turn to roll your eyes. "Jimin, you know better than anyone my idea of a crazy night is eating a whole packet of Cheez-It's and binge watching The Vampire Diaries instead of studying for my calc test. Besides, you know I'd tell you every detail if I had."

"Fair point." Jimin shrugs.

"If only we could read his name." You murmur, flopping onto your bed and holding the note above your head, closing one eye to get a better look at the splodge of ink in the middle of the page that obscures some of the sender's messy handwriting. "It seems like my admirer spilled something right where he signed his name..."

"Hold on a second," Jimin's eyes light up and he rips the note from your fingertips, ignoring your hey! of protest to perch on the end of the bed. You almost choke when he lifts the note to his nose and inhales, lashes fluttering closed before he exclaims, "I've solved it!"

"Huh?"

"This smell..."

"Smell? Jimin the fuck do you mean—"

"Cologne," Jimin drawls, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world as he pulls you to your feet and jumps on the spot excitedly. "He didn't spill anything, he left you a clue! Your secret admirer sprayed this note with his cologne before he sent it off and it made the ink bleed right here, but lucky for you, I just so happen to have a smell profile on every cute boy on campus."

You raise an eyebrow. "Honestly under normal circumstances I'd be concerned but right now I'm just intrigued. Elaborate?"

"Remember that guy I had a huge crush on last year?"

"Yeah? The footballer?"

"Right!" Jimin's finger slams down onto the name written in curly scrawl at the bottom of the love calculator list. "I would know his cologne anywhere. And it just so happens that it says his name right here!"

Jung Hoseok.

"He's my admirer?" You gasp.

Jimin shoots you a triumphant grin. "Come on! We have a secret admirer to expose. Operation Love Letters a-go!"

[trade-baby-blues]

Blink

Pairing: Jim x Reader 

Word Count: 2052

Warnings: angsty!! major injury, mentions of death, depression etc

A/N: Requested by an anon. Definitely more inspired by the song Andria by La Dispute than the song you sent me but...I hope it still satisfies you! Will also post it on AO3 later and update with a link to that as well!

“I promise I’m fine,” Jim said, flashing his best smile. He even squinted his eyes a little, hoping it would make it more realistic, but there was no fooling Teresa Ruiz. She regarded him the way one would a work of modern art at a museum. She looked at the lines on his face and tried to parse a meaning from them, tried to study every rise and valley in his skin as if it would reveal some great truth. She looked at him like he was infinite. It made Jim realize just how small he was. 

He leaned back, staring at the ceiling. He began to drum his fingers against the arm of the chair until he heard the scratch of pen on paper. “What are you writing now,” Jim asked, desperate to fill the silence. 

“My grocery list,” Teresa said nonchalantly. “At least one of us should get something out of this session.” 

“Look,” Jim said, leaning forward again, “we don’t have to keep doing this. You could just sign my release forms, and then I’ll be cleared for duty and out of your hair.” 

“I could.” Teresa kept writing. Jim watched her, listened to the scratching of the pen as it grew louder and louder until it seemed to be coming from inside his own skull. 

“You could, but?” 

“But I don’t believe you’re fine.” 

“God, how would you even know how I am when you’re writing your grocery list?” Jim threw himself back against the chair, allowing his hands to clench around the arms and shutting his eyes against the office and the world and her. 

Teresa sighed and dropped the notepad onto Jim’s lap. His eyes opened as his hands found the pages. “Oh,” he said softly. 

It wasn’t a grocery list. Of course it wasn’t a grocery list. 

Lack of interests. Refusal to open up. Fear of loss. Fear of silence. 

"Fear of airports," Jim quirked his eyebrow up. "How do you figure that one, doc?" 

Teresa leaned forward to grab her pad back. "Because your jaw clenches every time you mention it."

"I'm not scared of flying," Jim said, trying his best to relax his jaw. He hadn't noticed how tense it was until Teresa mentioned it. 

"I didn't say you were."

"And I'm not scared of silence either. That's all there is in space." 

"Prove it." 

Jim snapped his jaw shut and crossed his arms, fully aware that he was acting like a child. His eyes bounced wildly around the room from the clipboard in Teresa's hand to the clock on the wall which refused to go faster. Was it even moving at all? After an eternity, the secondhand dragged itself forward once. Twice. Three times.  

"Why would I be scared of airports?" 

"Because of what they represent." 

Jim scoffed. Still, his eyes bounced around the room. "And what's that?"

"You tell me."

"This is so stupid. They don't mean anything, and I've got better things to do that wax poetic about the 'deeper meaning'," Jim punctuated his outburst with finger quotes as he stood to leave the office. His hand was on the door handle when Teresa spoke again, freezing him in his tracks:

"Loss," she said. "They're full of goodbyes."

"Yeah, so is this office. Goodbye," Jim said as he pulled the door open. His mouth was curled in a smirk yet he couldn't help feeling like he'd lost this round. 

She doesn't know what she's talking about. Jim tried to comfort himself. This is pointless. I'm not scared of airports. They don't mean anything. 

Jim kept these reassurances up all the way back to your apartment - his apartment. It was just his now, he had to remind himself. He fought back a wince as he hit the light switch, half expecting you to be fast asleep on the couch as he often found you: hair loose around your chin, a thin spot of drool creeping from the corner of your mouth, and, if he really strained his ears, Jim could hear the softest snores drifting from your mouth to his ears. 

Instead, the silence roared at him until Jim turned on whatever was queued up on the music player. He turned the volume up until he could feel it in his teeth. He could hear Teresa’s voice in his head saying “scared of silence” and turned the music up more until even that became a distant whisper under the heavy bass. 

Jim could feel your hand on his, your fingers brushing his wrist. He held onto you like his life depended on it, like he would float away if you let go of him. You brushed your knuckles against his cheek and his eyes fluttered up to you. He couldn’t remember ever being this nervous. His heart beat faster than it ever had - faster than when he stole his step-dad’s car, faster than his first lift-off in the Enterprise. He felt dizzy on you. 

You giggled, trailing your fingers down his cheek to his lips as you leaned in. Your lips ghosted over his and Jim melted into you. 

His eyes opened, hands fisted into the sheets below him, and sighed. Jim rolled onto his back to stare at his ceiling. He could feel your lips on his still. His hands shook as much as they had the first time you kissed him. 

He was running now. Vines bit at Jim’s ankles, branches brushing his cheeks. He had to go faster. Had to catch up. Jim could hear you up ahead. Your shrieks floating to his ears, catching in his throat as he finally burst into the clearing, launching off the bank into the water. 

“Christ,” he yelled once his head was above water again. “You didn’t tell me the water was so cold.” 

Your laugh was like windchimes. “I thought the shrieking would be a hint.” 

“Oh, that was you? Thought maybe a velociraptor escaped.” You laughed again, splashing Jim with water as he swam closer. 

He reached out to touch your hair, but his hand went through you. A branch breaking to his left caught Jim’s attention. When he looked back, you were gone entirely. 

Jim’s eyes shot open, greeted once more by the blank ceiling. He spared a glance at his alarm clock. 3 a.m. With a groan, Jim turned onto his side, curling himself around a spare pillow and willing sleep to take him just to see you again. 

People were talking. Jim could hear them talking but couldn’t make out what they were saying. All he could focus on was your fingers on his wrist, your thumb brushing the skin where his palm and wrist met. His hands were shaking again. Why were they always shaking? 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” You slipped your hand under Jim’s chin, forcing him to look at you through those infuriatingly long lashes of his. 

“Do you have to go?” Jim’s voice was softer than he wanted and he winced, trying to shove away the image of a little boy scared of losing the person he loves most all over again. 

“That’s my line.” You stepped closer to Jim. The image of you clinging to his shirt as he left on mission after mission flew through Jim’s head. He felt a pang of guilt before you kissed it away. “It’s two days, babe. You’ll blink and it’ll be over.” 

And it was. 

Jim blinked and then his phone rang. A voice on the other end asked him to confirm his name. To confirm yours. Asked about your relationship. Jim excused himself from the mission briefing as his heart climbed higher and higher in his throat until it stopped entirely. 

“Yes, this is Jim Kirk. Yes, she’s my girlfriend. Yes, she was on a flight to New York. What do you mean the shuttle crashed?” 

The operator on the other line continued to talk, but Jim couldn’t hear it. “Wait, wait, start again,” Jim begged, hoping he could make it out this time. Surely, he’d misheard. There was a mistake. There had to be. 

Bones peeked his head out of the meeting room, eyeing his friend warily. Jim handed him the phone, still unable to process the words. Unable to process anything but the screeching in his ears and the sobs threatening to rip from his throat. Bones took the phone, calling after Jim as he sprinted away. 

The airport felt bigger now as he ran in. Why did he come here? What could they do? Jim couldn’t stop himself from running ahead to the gate, half expecting you to be waiting there for him. The sobs came freely now as he tried to push past the security checkpoint. Jim pleaded with the officer, not entirely sure what he was saying between shouting your name as if it could bring you back. 

A sob wracked Jim’s body as his eyes snapped back open. He took a breath. Ran a hand down his face. Maybe Teresa was right. Maybe he did hate airports. 

-

Jim hated hospitals too, but he was here. He was here for you. His hand shook as he pressed the elevator call button. The crinkling of cellophane filled the air as he tightened his grip on the flowers in his left hand. 

Jim blinked and the elevator came. He blinked and the doors opened again, letting him off. He blinked and he was at the door, hands clamped around the cool metal of the doorknob as he tried to remember how to breathe. 

You looked as angelic as ever, despite the monitors and IVs hooked up to your body. Jim swallowed against the growing lump in his throat. He placed the flowers on the bedside table as the beeping of the heart monitor filled the room, reminding his own heart to beat. 

“Hey,” he croaked out, reaching for your hand. It was limp in his. Clammy. “Good to see you.” 

Bones said talking to you would help, but what could he say? How could he talk about the minutiae of his day when you were in a coma? How could he say anything when he spent every second fighting against the guilt threatening to swallow him whole? Hell, Jim should’ve died. He should’ve died and Bones saved him, but he couldn’t save you. He couldn’t do anything but ensure you were ‘comfortable.’ 

How could this be comfortable? The starchy hospital sheets scraping against your skin. A tube down your throat helping you breath. Jim wanted to help you, but for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to do. He felt frozen. 

“I saw Teresa again yesterday. I hate to admit it, but I think she’s helping.” Jim laughed. “You’d really like her. She doesn’t put up with my shit either.” Jim closed his eyes, imagining your laugh. The smile made his muscles ache, too used to disuse. He could almost hear what you’d say. How your eyes would crinkle at the corners and your fingers would slip around his wrist again. The pressure was almost palpable. 

His eyes opened, focusing on the fingers brushing the skin where his palm met his wrist. A gentle squeeze which may as well have been around his throat as the breath left his lungs. His eyes shot to your face, still bruised in places Jim couldn’t wait to kiss. The pressure on his wrist came again just as he began to think he imagined it, and he watched your eyelids flutter open. 

Jim called for the nurses, never taking his eyes off you in case you disappeared again. The nurses worked quickly, not bothering to try and dislodge Jim. He’d been glued to your side since you were brought in. 

Your throat felt raw, voice cracking as you tried to speak. “It’s okay,” Jim said, pressing his forehead to yours, kissing the tip of your nose. Kissing your eyes, your cheek. Every inch of skin he could reach. “You don’t have to say anything.” 

“Guess it was a little more than two days, huh,” you croaked weakly. 

Jim couldn’t help but laugh as he blinked away tears. Nothing would interrupt his vision of you. He stroked your hair, half expecting to wake up alone in his own bed again. “That’s okay. I’ll always wait for you.” 

Tag List: (i stole this taglist of an earlier fic I posted so if you do/don’t want to be tagged let me know!)

@outside-the-government @martinawalker @thevalesofanduin @goingknowherewastaken @thefanficfaerie @brooke-taylor0323 @slither-in-a-half @cuddlememerrick @reading-in-moonlight​  

[kdfrqqg]

IT Support

Cas x Reader Summary: Office AU where Cas is an IT manager who still answers the help desk phone calls. Reader is having a bad day and Cas is super nice to her. Warnings: phone sex, language, description of oral sex, mutual masturbation A/N: I was going to write about Cas calling a phone sex operator in the back of a magazine because he didn’t understand that Dean was joking about how to pick up women. Then I talked to this IT guy, who had a deep voice like Cas, over the phone and this idea just had to happen. Hope you enjoy!!

The rest of the morning went ok, you finally got enough coffee in you to feel alive. No real problems until you went to print twenty-five copies of your presentation for later this week. The printer wasn’t receiving your document, you played around with all of the settings and still couldn’t make it work. This time you didn’t mind calling the help desk. When the same wonderful voice greeted you on the phone you smiled. “Hey Cas, it’s (Y/N) (Y/N/L) on ten again.” “So twice in one day? I’m going to have to start charging.” He flirted making you smile even harder. “What can I help you with?” “It’s my printer this time. It isn’t recognizing my drive or something.” you conveyed. “Did you get the new Canon printer recently? The 2030 model?” “Yeah, I did. How did you know?” “We’ve had a ton of issues with the new printers, that’s why I’ve been answering the phones today. Did you leave your computer on or shut it down before you left last night?” he inquired. You shook your head understanding the problem, “I shut it all the way off.” He explained, “Then you didn’t get the patch that would have updated over night. I can fix it but I have to remote in, do I have your permission?” “Of course.” He told you to click on an icon that popped up and he was able to remote into your computer as you watched him take control of your mouse and click around your computer. A few minutes past in almost total silence, “Ok, I’m done. Anything else I can assist you with (Y/N)?” “Oh gosh Cas, thanks so much again! Well there is one thing,” you were feeling bold now, “are we on a recorded line?” “No-no,” he stuttered a little, “I’m a manager up here so I can pick and choose who I want to record. What’s up?” “Well… You helped me out twice today and I don’t even know what you look like.” He coughed, “You wanna know what I look like?” “Yeah, I do. Is that ok?” you said with voice sounding a little flirty. “More than ok,“ clearly flustered, “I’m ummm, six foot tall, blue eyes, dark brown almost black hair. I’m pretty thin probably because I run alot.” His gravel voice was enchanting to say the least, “You sound really handsome.” You giggled slightly, it went silent for a second, “Aren’t you going to ask what I look like?” He confessed, “I already know what you look like.” “How?” He explained, “A friend of mine worked on a project with you a while back and he pointed you out in the cafeteria.” “How can you be sure you saw the right person?” You really were trying to see if he knew who you were. “Really? You don’t see someone like you every day. Amazing smile, long (y/c/h) and umm… Those killer curves” he gulped. “Do I detect a bit of a crush?” You teased. “If any guy didn’t have a crush on you then they don’t have eyes.” He replied. “So… does your office have a door that locks?” “Yes, it does.” you responded. His voice got deeper, “Good, go close it and lock your door and I’ll do the same.” You put the phone down for a moment, and walked to the door, locking it. This was exciting, right now he was just the sexiest voice you had ever heard, sure you could walk down to the second floor and meet him but this was somehow so much better. “It’s locked.” You announced quietly. “Good, do I have your consent? We work together and I don’t want any HR issues.” He inquired. “Yes, Cas you have my permission.” “What are you wearing? Describe everything please.” There was a beg in his voice. “First, are you seeing anyone?” You asked. “No, there hasn’t been anyone for a while.” Cas admitted. Oh wow, a single, probably handsome, smart, nice and pretty successful guy was on the phone asking what you were wearing this was way better than speed dating or online hook ups, “I’m not with anyone either.“ “That’s hard to believe.” Then his voice was needy, “Again what are you wearing?” “I’m wearing a black sundress” your voice was seductive, “with a red floral pattern and a red cardigan. Also I have matching red heels on.” “That sounds hot!” He said. “Now, what are you wearing?” You asked. “A white oxford shirt with a tie and blue slacks.“ He spit out quickly. “So if I was there would you let me kiss you?” He asked wasting as little time as possible. You blushed, “Yeah, what else would you do?” “First, I would slide that cardigan of your shoulders so I could touch your soft skin.” “Can I undo your tie?” You gently ask. “God, yes!” He replied. “It slides right off of you with ease and I fling your tie across the room. Then I work on unbuttoning your shirt.” You described your actions. “I grab your waist and lift you up on the desk. Are you wearing panty hose?” You smiled at his question. “No, I got a run in them so I threw them away already.” You giggled. “Good, less work. I place my hands on your thighs.” He told you what he wanted. “Are you touching yourself?” You almost drop the phone, “Yes, I’m touching my breasts.” He growls, “hummm, put your hand in your panties.” “O-ok” you stutter as you lift your dress and slide your panties over slipping your fingers in your folds, “Where are your hands?” “They are rubbing against my bulge.” He paused to get back on track, “So what do your panties look like? “They’re black lace.” You almost moaned as you said it. “Really? If I were there right now, there’d be black lacy panties for me to pull down?” “Yes and I’m wearing the matching bra.” You answered. “Oh fuck, that’s hot!” He groaned. “Don’t cum to soon. I need your help to get me off too.” You joked. “(Y/N/N), I almost came when you asked me what I looked like, so yeah I’m not making any promises.” He chuckled. “I reach up your dress and slide your panties off. Then, I throw them over with my tie.” “Ok, then what do you want to do me?” “I unzip your dress and pull the straps down. I’m been dying to kiss that amazing cleavage. I kiss down your stomach and I get on my knees. I want to worship you with my tongue.” You start breathing heavy as your left hand is working on your clit. “Yes, please do.” “Is your pussy shaved?” “Better, it’s waxed.” you informed him. “Once again that is just fucking hot. Like bald or landing strip?” He wanted more details. “I get a full Brazilian.” “Shit” he moaned. “I bet you feel so damn good.” “You were on your knees.” You reminded him. “How could I forget? My favorite.” He said with a grin in his tone. “You lean back on the empty desk while I kiss your thighs before I start to lick into your pussy.” “Oh yeah” you whispered a hushed moan. You hear him unzip his pants through the phone, “I focus on your clit, I make little circles with my tongue.” You start to whimper imagining just how good that would feel. “I slide my tongue back and forth. I want to lick all your juices up because you taste so sweet.” “Fuck!” You yell as silently as you can. He hummed at your excitement. “Are you almost there?” “Yes, just keep talking.” You whined. “I slide two fingers in, pumping you. I want to watch as you come undone.” Your fingers mimic what he said. “My thumb rubs small circles on your clit.” Your breath becomes heavy, you move the phone from your right hand so that it is resting on your shoulder, using both hands to find your release faster. Your moans were low trying not it draw attention to what was happening in your office. “You sound so sexy!” His voice was laced with lust. “It’s taking everything I have not to run up there and fuck you against your desk.” “I gonna cum.” You whined working your pussy just the way you like it. “That’s right, just like that. Cum for me.” He ordered. “Fuck” you said, his words, his deep voice were so fucking hot. You felt your body seize, dropping the phone on the floor. You arched your back in the office chair and let out a quiet moan. “(Y/N)” you heard from the floor. Cas was trying to talk to you but were blissed out for a moment. After regaining the ability to think, you quickly rubbed some hand sanitizer on and picked up the phone from the floor “Shit, that was awesome!” Most men couldnt vocalize what they wanted this well. “Now, it’s my turn!” Your sexy voice rang through the phone, “Do you want to fuck me up against the desk or have me on my knees?” You had taken control making Cas’ deep baritone voice catch, “Damn, decisions?” “I think we only have time for one, Cas. Let me decide for you, I think I wanna return the favor.” you tone was sexy and playful. His voice once again cracked, “ok.” “I plop on the floor, fling my dress above my head and unhook my bra. I’m on my knees with only my heels on, I look like a fucking porn star.” “God, I love that dirty mouth!” He let out. “Your large cock is ready for me. You reach down and feeling my breast. I press my boobs together and run your dick between my titties and then over my nipples.“ “Yes!” He moaned. You could hear the smack of skin on skin knowing he was thinking about you and only you as he beat off. “I take your cock in my hand and swirl my tongue over your head and glide it up and down your length, teasing you just right. I grab your tight ass right before I take as much of you in my mouth as I can.” You probably love giving oral as much as you liked receiving it. You were already getting turned on again, your hand made its way to your panties much faster this time. “Oh!” he let out a quiet groan. “My lips bob up and down over you. I guide your hands to the back on my head, you tangle your fingers on my hair. You begin to thrust into my mouth hitting the back of my throat. I want you to do more, I want you to fuck my mouth good. You thrust even harder now.” Your breath became heavy as your worked over your sensitive bud. “Yes, I’m thrusting.” he cried. “You feel so good in my mouth. I try not to choke on how big you are. You love the way my lips look wrapped around your cock. I’m yours and you use my mouth as you want. Your grip on my hair tightens.” He was moaning louder and you could tell he was about to cum. “You love fucking my willing, warm, and moist mouth.” “Say that again.” He ordered. “My moist mouth is for your pleasure.” You said in your best porn star voice. “Yes! Moist! I’m going to cum.” He announced. “That’s right, cum in my moist mouth. I’m going swallow every thing you got, Baby.” “I’m cumming.” he moaned. “I swallow as much as can but there is just so much cum some of it dribbles down my chest.” You told him trying to complete the picture. “You’re the best, absolutely the fucking best, (Y/N).” He told you in a completely sated tone. You edged yourself just to the point of starting your second orgasm but you didn’t cum. “Shit, I want you so badly.” Touching your face with your free hand, “I want you to fuck me against this desk in real life, Cas.” “I could so do that.” He let out a slight laugh. “But first, you wanna get a drink tonight? It’s obvious, we get along.” “Hell yeah, I wanna get a drink.” You chuckled. "Ok after work don’t leave I’ll come up there and get you.” He told you. You both said your good byes understanding that you both had to get back to work.

The next few hours were excruciating, you wanted to run down stairs and kiss the man that could turn you on just by his voice. But you also wanted to be surprised this evening. At 4:55 pm the phone rang, you didn’t recognize the number, so you put a smile in your voice when you greeted the other person, even though you wanted them to get off the phone so you wouldn’t be late to see Cas. “(Y/N),” it was Cas, “don’t you dare think about ditching me, tonight.” he joked. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” You laughed back. “I’ll be up there in five.” He informed. “Ok,” you were so excited but that was all you could muster. You waited for what seemed like an eternity. Five minutes had never taken this long. You turned your computer off and you placed your purse on the desk, you wanted to be ready to walk out the door as soon as he showed up. If Cas was half as attractive as you had pictured in your head, shit you would find a way to marry this man. You were putting your red heels back on when you heard a knock on your door. You looked up and saw the most beautiful man, actually it was the hot elevator guy that you saw six months ago and had never seen since, your jaw dropped. “Please be Cas?” You muttered to yourself. He smiled and his bright blue eyes shined, "I’m Cas.” He told you. “Yes, you are.” You suggestively said, moving from behind the desk and closer to him. “I’m I what you thought I’d be?” He asked, stepping away from the door frame closing the gap between you. “More than I ever. So where are you taking me?” He took your hand sending a shiver down your spine. Leading you out of your office with his hand on the small of your back. “There is a bar down the street.” “If you keep touching me like that, we won’t make it to the bar.” You winked at him.

Honestly, I really do want your feedback!! It may determine how I write my next fic.

“Give it to me! You know you want to!” Writer winks at reader.

MY MASTER LIST Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want to be tagged.

Everything @bandobsession98, @greenappleeyes, @honeybeetrash, @chaos-and-the-calm67, @18crazybutcutealsopsycho, @xdifsx, @winchesters-favorite-girl,

Cas only @webcricket, @angelsdeadromance

Reader insert @jensen-jarpad