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trippinsorrows · 4 months ago

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looking through your eyes + six

authors note: i really like how this one came out. hope you guys do too.

i use some psych terminology, so just as a lil glossary: pt=patient, dx=diagnosis, hx =history, fx=functioning status (mental stability, essentially) and hopefully everyone can understand the rest with context clues.

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: fluff, language, medical report following suicide attempt, discussion of sexual abuse, mention of torture

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

words: 10k (i don't know how to write short chapters, clearly)

The last thing Solana expected to wake up to is a handwritten note left for her in the same journal she deposited on Roman’s bed despite her better judgment. She was filled to the brim with anxiety regarding that bold decision, asking him to do something she’s certain is miles outside of his comfort zone.

She expected him to ignore her.

What she didn’t expect was for him to reply.

Reading over his words, Solana struggles with the ease of his acquiescence. He indicated it could be short term, but she’ll take that, because it’s a hell of a lot easier for her to talk to this man if it’s through written word.

And the last part.

There’s nothing you can’t tell me.

There’s actually a lot she can’t tell him. A lot he can never know. No one can know, but the sentiment behind it…..it has her puzzled. He has her puzzled.

Solana grabs the journal and scans the kitchen for a pen when a thought crosses her mind. She bites down on her bottom lip, forever battling with the idea of something vs the actuality of carrying out the plan.

In a plot twist, she sides with the plan and pulls out her phone, searching for Roman’s contact.

She types, deletes, and does so again at least three times before settling on a text that really could have been conjured and sent in seconds vs the solid ten minutes she takes to issue it out.

Solana: Hi. Thank you. Do you think we could text too? I know that writing is my thing, but I can text if that’s easier for you too….thanks.

Solana nearly tosses her cell phone on the large slab that is his granite kitchen island and moves around to figure out what she’s going to fix for breakfast. The perfect excuse for her to not think about the knots in her stomach at her message. It doesn’t stop the overthinking though.

What if she’s asking too much? Pushing him too far out of his comfort zone? It doesn’t take long for her to regret her decision, wishing it was still within the time limits to unsend her message.

And then her phone dings.

Solana nearly drops the egg she was about to crack over the skillet. Swallowing, she places it back in the bowel as her feet slowly carry her to the phone that has now dinged a second time. Her fingers dance against the sides of her pants, stretching and scratching the cotton.

Lifting her phone, she unlocks her phone and heads straight to his thread.

Roman: Yes.

It’s a simple response that makes sense for him and is beneficial for Solana who sighs in relief at his agreement. She stews on how to respond, eventually settling on a simple thank you as well as answering his question. The least she can do.

Solana: Thank you…

Solana: And I don’t work this weekend.

Solana: Can I ask you something?

Solana again starts chewing on her bottom lip as she mentally berates herself for bombarding him with messages when he’s probably in the middle of working.

But even so, that doesn’t stop him from replying almost instantly.

Roman: You don’t have to ask if you can ask me something, Solana. Just ask.

It’s hard not to imagine the frustration on his face at answering her question while also having to remind her of what he’s already stated at one point or another.

Solana: Okay…

Solana: Where are we going?

She’s unsure if he will respond and has accepted that he may not, which is okay with her. He’s already being more responsive than she initially anticipated he would. And Solana is barely able to put the skillet on the fire before her phone is buzzing again.

Roman: You’ll see.

His answer makes her frown. It’s not what she wanted to hear, but it’s also not a complete disregard or verbal lashing for asking a simple question.

Solana prepares to leave it as is when Roman’s voice is in the back of her mind, nudging and reminding her of his desire for her to communicate with him more.

Nervous fingers type out an expression of said nerves.

Solana: Okay….surprises just make me nervous.

She doesn’t have time to put her phone down when those three dots appear, indicating he’s typing.

Roman: It’s nothing bad.

Roman: I wouldn’t lie to you.

And for some strange reason, Solana believes that. Roman doesn't seem like a man to lie in general, because he’s too blunt for that.

Unless….

Unless it’s one of his mind games, because he is notorious for that. Still, she can’t find a reason why he would waste his time playing one of those with her.

Solana: Okay. Sorry to text you while you’re working.

Roman: You’re apologizing again.

Roman: And I don’t care.

Roman: I’d rather talk to you than listen to the twins bullshit.

Solana tries to not put too much into his words, into him saying that he wants to talk to her. It’s not that he directly wants to speak to her, more she’s the lesser of two evils. Nothing to get into her head about.

Solana: They’re kinda funny….🙈

Roman: You’d feel differently if you had to deal with them all the time.

Solana: Fair.

The exchange is so in the moment, back to back, that she doesn’t put her phone down again until her last message. She then returns to preparing her breakfast.

Solana is frying her eggs, adding in seasoning when her phone dings again. Wiping her hands on her apron, she expects a message from Bayley or even Naomi.

Especially Naomi. She needs to talk to her about what happened, apologize for putting her in what must have been an awkward situation.

It’s neither of them.

Roman: How’d you start writing?

Roman continuing or prolonging the conversation isn’t something she saw coming. But, the message is right there in white writing against that gray background.

Solana briefly debates how honest to be in her answer, deciding to step a bit out of her comfort zone in offering more than just her usual three to five word responses.

Solana: My mom. She spoke English, but she wasn’t fluent, so she’d write letters to me in Spanish, and I’d have to respond in English so we both could learn.

Solana: My dad wouldn’t let her teach or speak it around me and Wes so that was the only way I/she could learn.

He stops replying after that, and Solana feels stupid for being so open, for not just giving him a simple answer with all of the unnecessary verbiage.

And then her phone goes off.

Roman: Not surprising.

When he doesn’t say anything else, Solana debates on whether to end it there or follow up with another question given that he asked one first. It feels like returning the favor or reciprocating manners.

Hence, she decides on texting him again.

Solana: What is that language you speak to the twins sometimes?

Roman: Samoan. I’m fluent. Italian and English as well.

That’s not entirely surprising. Roman is obviously a well educated, well rounded man.

Roman: You’re more perceptive than you let off.

Solana: Maybe. But no one ever cares what I have to say or think, so it doesn’t make sense to share it.

He stops replying after that.

And Solana tries to not think too much about her disappointment, moving around the kitchen to finish fixing breakfast as a distraction.

A poor distraction, because not even twenty minutes later, she’s ready to check her phone again even if it hasn’t made the special sound that makes her belly flutter. However, the sound of the doorbell pulls her from that premature excitement.

Solo comes to meet her in the kitchen informing matter-of-factly, “it’s Naomi and Bayley.”

Solana stills. That’s definitely not someone she expected to see so soon. Neither of them.

“Invite them in?” Solo’s voice tinges with borderline irritation, which she can understand.

Cheeks reddening, she apologizes. “Yes. Sorry. Of—of course.”

Solana hears Bayley before she sees her. “Damn. This is how it’s like to live as the Tribal Chief's wife? Maybe shit isn’t so bad after all.” The two walking in wearing friendly smiles brings back Solana’s grin.

“Hey there. We wanted to come check on you.” Naomi introduces, the first to ask, “is it okay if we hug you?”

Solana doesn’t hesitate as much as she would expect herself to. “Yes.”

Naomi also doesn’t hesitate and steps forward, hugging Solana in such a sincere way she’s not sure she’s experienced in years. Since her mom.

And Bayley does the same, maybe even a little tighter.

The three of them sit down at the kitchen island as Bayley asks in a sympathetic tone. “How you doing, lady?”

“Better.” It’s an honest answer, and Solana can’t help but think about the additive that it’s largely due to Roman. But, she keeps that part to herself. She looks at Naomi. “I’m so sorry—“

Naomi lifts a manicured finger to silence her. “Girl, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I’m sorry I didn’t know what was going on. You could have told me too, but I get it must have been hard for you.”

This part had Solana deeply nervous, the part where she’d have to ‘face’ Naomi after causing such a scene and getting the whole place shut down for an entire day, So, for the woman with the penchant for bold colors that look delightful against her complexion to be so understanding and empathetic, it means a lot to Solana.

It means a lot that Bayley would also even tag along when she wasn’t even part of that chaotic ordeal.

“Just know you can tell us anything. We’ve got your back,” Bayley affirms, adding with a smirk. “And clearly your big bad husband does too.”

We’ve got your back.

Solana doesn’t even know where to begin comprehending and swallowing that.

Thankfully, she doesn’t have too long to be in her head, because Naomi starts talking again. “That was wild,” she comments with a shake of her head and then looks at Solana. “Oh shit, you probably don’t know, do you?”

Solana’s stomach does the opposite of butterflies, the uncomfortable clenching and twisting that accompanies anxiety. “Know what?”

There’s no delay with the answer.

“Theory and Waller are dead.” Solana wasn’t sure what to expect to hear Naomi say, but even if she tried to guess, that would have never been one of her options.

Confusion is painted all over her face. “Wha—what?”

Dead.

The two men who just yesterday caused her to breakdown and revert back to her teenage years where dissociation was her coping mechanism, the men who’d been sexually harassing her with zero regards for her as a human and even more, as Roman’s wife….are dead.

It feels almost impossible to be true.

Bayley backs up Naomi’s assertion, adding, “yeah, he had their bodies, or what was left, displayed at the Warehouse this morning.”

Chills travel up her spine. “W–why?”

It’a a word aimed towards a lot of the questions Solana has unanswered. Why are they dead? Why did Roman kill or have them killed? Sure, she expected there to be some form of punishment, merely for the simple fact that messing with her was a clear sign of disrespect toward him, which the Tribal Chief would never tolerate. But, for them to be killed, in such a what sounds like a gruesome manner, and their remains to be left for all to see?

Why?

Bayley answers with a shrug of her shoulders. “To send a message.”

Solana is surprisingly fast with her follow up. “W-what message?”

Naomi is quick with the answer, but in general, she seems to be knowledgeable about a lot of things Bloodline. “You’re Bloodline now. No one messes with us. And you’re Roman’s wife? Yeah, he’s making sure everyone knows what happens if they even think about fucking with you.”

It lines up, Solana reflecting back on Roman’s departing declaration the night before.

“I told you. No one lays a hand on you. I’m gonna make sure everyone understands that shit from here on out.”

She just never expected such a….big message.

“Honestly, they were fucking creeps anyway.” Solana cannot and does not disagree with the first part of Bayley’s statement, the second part, however, is iffy for her. “They got exactly what they deserved.”

Solana neither agrees or disagrees with that.

“I’m thinking we do your training from here for a little while,” Naomi suggests. While her initial response is to apologize for any inconvenience this may cause Naomi, Solana can’t deny the fact that just the thought of walking back in that building right now makes her physically ill. “I know Roman got a state of the art gym here and that massive backyard of yalls? This will do just fine.”

“Oooh, I gotta see this.” Bayley then asks, “Solana, are you working today?”

“No, I called out.” Solana needs at least a day to get her mind right, hence taking today off.

Bayley then suggests, “Naomi and I were gonna go shopping. Why don’t you come with us?”

It's an interestingly timed question given one of Solana’s text exchanges with Roman not even an hour ago included him informing her that the stack of envelopes on the kitchen island earlier were her new set of cards, all linked to his accounts.

And he made sure to reiterate again that there is no limit. For any of them.

Bayley then decides and declares, slapping her hand on the island. “Matter of fact, we’re not asking. We’re telling you that you’re going shopping with us.” That is something Solana is familiar with, never being asked, always being told.

It’s just rare, if ever, it’s something that isn't entirely bad or terrible she’s being told she needs to do.

“I’ve been wanting to take you shopping for forever anyway. Because as sweet and great as you are, Solana, you dress like college freshman meets Billie Eilish.” Before Solana can ask what exactly that means, Naomi explains. “So much neutral and dark colors. And everything is oversized. I can tell you’re kind of insecure about your body, but you literally have no reason to be because you have an amazing shape.”

Solana doesn’t say anything, but her hand naturally goes to one of the scars on her arm from that night.

Naomi notices this and advises in a gentle voice, “we all have scars, Solana. Some you can see and others you don’t.” Solana has both, and it’s a miserable experience. “That doesn’t mean you have to hide them and be ashamed.”

“Naomi is right.” Bayley agrees, and something tells Solana she’s going out shopping today whether she wants to or not. “We are going to help you learn to embrace your curves one better fashionable choice at a time.”

________

Solana can probably count on one hand how many times she’s gone shopping in person over the past couple years. Maybe longer. She mostly sticks to online shopping when she is in need of a couple new pieces, always sizing way up so she can assure that it fits. More so drapes over her body, but that’s always been the preference.

She’s also never shopped at stores where the price for a single item can be upwards to three to four figures, which apparently isn’t the case for Bayley and Naomi.

Cause one of the first items they pick up for her is a single blouse that reads $650.00 on the price tag. Solana nearly faints when she reads that. That’s probably the entire cost of her wardrobe put together.

She’s starting to regret telling them about Roman adding her to his accounts. Naomi especially seemed thrilled at that, and she seems to be the one piling the cart with more and more items. Bayley also offering her fair share of contributions.

All the while Solo keeps a safe but comfortable distance, wearing that infamous stoic expression, Solana can’t help but wonder how he must be feeling about this, about having to spend his time watching her while she shops. It can’t be enjoyable for him at all. She feels sort of bad.

“Oh my god, you have to try this on.”

Feeling bad for someone else morphs into feeling bad for herself, to a certain extent, when Solana sees the dress that Naomi is holding up for her.

In all interactions, Solana does her best to be polite and kind, to never invite a volatile or mean response. “Ummm, I don’t—I don’t think that’ll look good on me.”

It won’t look good for a lot of reasons, the main one being it’s too small. Solana can see the thin sleeved dress is intended to be form-fitting—another major red flag—but even with that, it’s obviously a size, or eight, too small.

Naomi makes a sound. “Girl, that’s just how it looks. It molds to your shape, and with all your curves, I know it’s going to be a killer look.” She then pushes it in Solana’s direction again. “At least try it on. You never know unless you try.”

But Solana does know. She knows this dress is going to draw attention to all of her flaws. The rolls, the pudge of her belly, her big arms, and those damn scars. But, she also doesn’t want to be rude, so she agrees, disappearing in the dressing room before emerging a couple minutes later, never once checking her reflection before doing so.

She walks to where the ladies are waiting, asking with an awkward shrug of her shoulders, “well?”

Naomi gasps. “Holy shit, that looks amazing on you, Solana!”

“Of course it does. You see that body?” Bayley joins in on gassing her up, adding, “it really does look good, Solana. We wouldn't lie to you.”

Huh. That’s the second time today Solana has been told that.

Bayley then instructs her to look at her reflection in the full body mirror of the dressing room, a dreaded task but one she makes herself complete.

Solana does her best to try to be as neutral and not negative towards her appearance, but it’s hard when she keeps honing in on the scars on her arms, the one on her face, not to mention her weight and how, to her, it just seems too much.

Her father’s sharp and consistent criticism starts to return to the forefront of her mind when she notices Naomi snap a photo. Turning on her heel, she asks with a level of nervousness, “w–what are you doing?”

“Helping you to realize how bad as hell you are.” Naomi says it so casually, so calmly, turning her phone toward Solana. “See.”

It’s a thread, a group chat, and along with the picture Naomi just snapped, there’s an accompanying text.

Naomi: Solana is being stupid and thinks she looks bad in this dress. Please prove me and Bayley’s point.

Solana’s eyes go wide when she realizes just who is in this group text. Jimmy, Jey, and Roman.

Her stomach is twisting all over again. “Naomi, I—I don’t think—”

Naomi’s phone chimes, and a smile grows on her face as Bayley moves closer to Solana.

Naomi starts laughing and then smirks as she flips it so Solana and Bayley can read. “I rest my case.”

Jey: Damn, Soso 👀 Hell yeah, she look good. Goddamn! 😫

Jimmy: I GYAT to start coming over to ya’ll house more, Uce. 🍑

Bayley makes a wolf sound, playfully shoving Solana whose cheeks are reddening by the second after reading the surprising response from the twins. She definitely either expected no response or an either kind or unkind disagreement. “We told you, girl. You look amazing.” Bayley then comments, directing her statement to Naomi. “Man, you and Jimmy definitely have a strong ass relationship, cause I’d be ready to kick his ass.”

Naomi shrugs, simply responding. “We trust each other. I know it stops at just looking for him. Same for me.”

Her phone makes a sound, and she reads whatever the latest incoming messages are, instantly rolling her eyes. “Roman is such an ass sometimes.”

Solana’s ear perks up at the mention of his name as she asks, “what did he say?”

Naomi turns her phone again so Solana can read for herself, her stomach twisting with anxiety when she reads his trenchant reply.

Roman: Shut the fuck up.

Roman: Unsend this shit, Naomi. Now.

But before Solana can panic about his response, her phone dings and she pulls it out to see his name on her lockscreen. Instead of delaying the inevitable, she unlocks to read his response, anticipating the worst.

Roman: You look good.

Roman: But you always look good.

Solana has to read his text a couple of times before it actually registers. He thinks she looks good. Roman thinks she looks good. Even more, he thinks she always looks good. Solana doesn’t know how to take that, even though there really is only one way to take such a message.

Bayley and Naomi being the bit of nosy Nancy’s that they are, sneak a peek at Solana’s phone and also read his text. Bayley is the first to speak, displaying that knowing dimpled smile. “Ha! See. The Tribal Chief himself has spoken.”

Naomi and her share a laugh as Solana finds herself also with a small smile. Roman had told her the night of WarGames that she looked beautiful, and she hadn’t really known how to take that either, chalking it up to the face full of makeup and fancy updo.

But this photo Naomi snapped and sent shows her without a lick of makeup on, hair messily pulled back and out of the way. It’s literally just her in a dress, a dress she normally would never dare to brave, but something Roman apparently thinks she looks good in.

“Does…..does he really think I’m beautiful?” It’s a question she never intended to leave the safe confines of her mind, but it’s a rebel, sneaking its way out and landing on the doorstep of the two women before her.

Bayley, as per usual, is the first to speak. “Is that a serious question? Of course he thinks you’re beautiful, because you are. You’re absolutely stunning, Solana. You have to see that.”

“Most of the men at your wedding kept commenting on how pretty you are. And your boobs, of course, because men have no couth.” Naomi rolls her eyes but continues. “And as someone who has had the displeasure of knowing Roman literally since we were in elementary school, I can tell you that you’re 1000% his type.”

Solana doesn’t believe that Naomi has reason to lie to her. Bayley either. And as Naomi has been around the family for so long, her word has to be true. But, Solana has a hard time separating the fact that Roman, who has someone as beautiful and unflawed like Samantha, in the same vein, could think someone like her is beautiful.

Samantha is beautiful, and someone he can actually touch.

Because regardless of how he views her, it all comes down to that. Physical intimacy. One of many things that Solana can’t give him.

But Samantha can.

Samantha does.

That’s why she was in the house that day, doing what Solana should but can’t because she’s too fucked up, too damaged, too broken.

Bayley reaches over with a comforting hand, switching to Spanish. “Whatever you’re thinking right now, don’t. You’re beautiful, Solana. That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less. Fuck anyone who’s ever said different.”

Solana isn’t quite sure how to describe how grateful she feels in this moment, to have such support, to have people be so genuinely and sincerely supportive. She hasn’t had that in so long, she’d almost forgotten that it was possible.

Emotion thick, she responds in the same language, “thank you, Bayley.”

“Okay, now that’s just not fair. I wanna know what’s going on too.” Naomi’s protest and almost childlike pout makes Solana smile, a nice break from the heavy emotional experience going on in her head.

“Just some girls supporting girls shit.” Bayley shrugs and claps her hands together. “Okay, now let’s see what sexy little red pieces we can find for you….”

________

Texting and writing with Roman on and off for the rest of the week was never on Solana’s agenda, but it’s exactly what’s been happening.

And she has no idea what to make of it.

Every time there’s a delay with his response, she assumes that’s it. That’s the end of the conversation. Only for her phone to buzz with not only a response but usually a follow up question.

It’s almost as if he wants to keep the conversation going, but that can’t be it. She can’t see why he’d want to speak with her.

Even if he literally stated that he’d prefer to talk to her than listen to his cousins bicker. Still, his entire day can’t involve their presence. There has to be some separation at one point or another.

But even with that, he’s consistent with eventually replying, acknowledging her messages even if the responses come hours after her first one was sent.

And for the life of her, Solana cannot find a good or logical reason as to why her stomach flutters with a modicum to medium level of excitement every time her phone dings.

Because she thinks it’s another text from Roman.

Because she’s enjoying speaking with him. Because she seeks out opportunities even while working to check her phone and see if he’s text her. It’s not traditional communication, and she’s certain there’s no way in hell she’d be able to talk to him this freely, this comfortably if it was verbal.

Not a chance.

But in texting, she finds a level of ease that makes it significantly easier to get to know him. And maybe that’s what it is, she has some level of desire to get to know him more. If this “marriage” is to last, whatever that looks like, it feels like she needs to know more about him other than that he’s big, strong, and a killer.

Those traits more than speak for themselves, but there’s gotta be more, and there is. Like her now knowing he speaks three languages fluently and would like to pick up another someday if he ever has the time. Or that he works out at least twice every day and doesn’t feel right if he can’t get in at least one workout.

Similarly, Solana finds herself reciprocating his sharing of information, small facts that aren’t major but make a smidge of difference. Like her love of books and words. The few shows she enjoys. She especially doesn’t understand where that comes from. The sharing on her end. It’s something similar like her growing relationships with Bayley and Naomi.

But that’s different, so so different, for a variety of reasons. One, they’re women, and while anxiety is something she struggles with in interactions with all individuals, regardless of sex, it’s much easier with them than men.

And Roman is not the average man, far from it.

He scares her.

Or does he?

Solana has been struggling to make sense of the fear that often cripples her and the behavior he’s shown her thus far. They don’t add up. Sure, he’s expressed irritation and a level of anger towards her, but both were more than warranted. And even in those moments, there was still a level of control and composure. He didn’t scream at her. Didn’t belittle her. Didn’t hit her.

And his words from earlier that week circle back around to the front of her mind.

Even that day at her job.

He’s made it clear now two times that he has no plans or desire to ever hit her. Initially, that didn’t mean anything to Solana, because she’s never known a man in her life to never beat on her. The second time, it made her start to wonder if he was telling the truth.

And now, in a week of genuine and okay interactions, maybe even good interactions, that wondering of the truth is gradually meshing into believing.

Especially because something tells her Roman’s not a man to lie, not unless he’s playing one of his infamous mind games. And what reason would he have to play a mind game with her of all people?

She’s nobody.

But not enough of a nobody for him to end the conversation, which she’s expected all week but yet to see happen. Even more, a part of Solana feels like he’s also wanting to keep the conversation going, matching her with the questions vs just responding and leaving it as is.

And Solana appreciates it a lot, maybe even to the point where she’s gradually starting to appreciate him.

If she doesn’t already.

It’s why she doesn’t mind waking up earlier than she already does to fix breakfast and get ready for work to do something for him that she hopes he views as nice while he gets in his morning workout in the home gym.

Finished and almost too nervous to stay around for his response, she grabs the notebook, leaving a quick message before heading up the stairs to get in at least another hour of sleep as there’s still leftovers from yesterday’s breakfast.

Roman,

I noticed you tend to start off your breakfast with a protein shake. I saw how you make it, so I figured I’d just make it for you. Less for you to do.

Hope that was alright.

Solana

________

Roman didn’t plan to text and write Solana as often as he has. It just…..happened.

She was right in that communication does seem smoother and even easier through this channel. It’s also nice to “hear” her communicate without all that damn stuttering and stammering. Her texts and letters read so much better than actually listening to her speak aloud.

Not that her voice isn’t pleasing to some extent. It is. Soft and almost melodic, minus the fucking stutters.

Roman is in the middle of reviewing income spreadsheets when Jimmy walks into his office and

drops a stack of paperwork on top of Roman’s desk. He then plops down in one of two chairs opposite his cousin. “Solana’s medical records.”

Roman is pleased, thankful to the Wise Man for his promptness regarding his request.

“There is something you should know though.”

Instantly, Roman is annoyed, because he recognizes that tone of Jimmy’s. The tone that lets Roman know he’s not going to like what he’s about to hear. “What?”

“Apparently, information is missing.”

“What do you mean it’s missing? Find the fucking hospital that has them. I want all of her records.” Roman’s orders were clear as day, and he fucking hates when even with comprehensible issuance, there’s still a fucking problem.

“That’s all that’s available. Paul said the records indicate shit was deleted or something. Like cleared out of the system.” Before Roman can express his dissatisfaction and suggestions, Jimmy explains, “He said he consulted with Pearce to see if he could retrieve the files, but even he couldn’t get them. Something about systems changing over time and not being compatible. You know, all that tech shit Pearce be talking.”

Roman was right. As always. He’s annoyed.

Because he knows exactly who would have had a hand in something like this.

Xavier.

He expresses as such. “It was Xavier. Son of a bitch probably had it deleted somehow.” Roman knows Miller has hands and ties in the medical community as well as social services, though that power and leverage has definitely dwindled over the years due to Miller’s mounting financial problems. However, around the time Solana was a kid was very much the peak of Miller’s paltry empire.

“What exactly are you looking for, man?” Jimmy asks, trying to get a read on his cousin, never an easy feat. If at all possible. “I’m not trying to be mean, but it’s obvious Solana been through some shit. You really need to know all of it?”

It’s a sound question that Roman isn’t certain he has the answer for. Knowing just what Solana has been through could be helpful in helping him understand her better, but there’s also a part of him that doesn’t know why he’s even bothering with that. Why does he even need to understand her better?

“I mean, just what happened to her mom could be the reason for a lot of her….struggles.”

“That’s part of it.” Roman’s certain of that, but he also knows there’s more. “Her father and brother were abusive.”

At that, Jimmy appears shocked. “What?” His expression quickly turns into a scowl. “That’s why you had us handle up on ole’ boy? You should have said that was why. Would have broke that bitch left hand too.”

“I’m going to kill them both before all is said and done.” And that’s a fucking promise, an oath. Their days are numbered. “But until then, I’ll keep them away from her.”

“That must piss them the fuck off.”

“Exactly.” Beyond making sure they don’t fucking touch Solana, Roman recognizes flexing his power and authority by cutting off all contact between them is something Miller and his boy must find infuriating. They’ve clearly thrived on controlling and torturing Solana, but that shit is over.

Solana is Bloodline now.

No one fucking touches her.

“Well.” Jimmy blows out a big breath and shrugs his shoulders. “I just hope you know what you doing, Big Dog.”

“Don’t I always.” Roman mutters, opening the manilla envelope to start going over the files. “Jimmy.”

“Yeah?”

“Have Naomi continue to do Solana’s training from the house.”

“Come on, man, my girl is already on that. She said Soso’s been getting better and better too. ” Jimmy answers, explaining, “I think she and Bey should be over there right about now anyway. Feels like they always over there these days.”

Roman wouldn’t entirely disagree. He gets regular updates from security regarding any and all happenings at his home, which includes a list of visitors, and Naomi and Bayley have been consistent on that list.

Roman also understands now why Solana hasn’t replied to his latest text.

Not that it bothers him. A lot, at least. He has shit to do anyway.

A couple minutes later, Jimmy leaves, and Roman is left alone to venture into the next task on his to-do list.

As expected, Solana’s medical records consist of a lot of emergency visits for accidents. Sprains. Broken bones. Fractures. Endless bruising, hematomas even. The visits eventually die down, but Roman suspects it’s not because the abuse stopped or paused. More likely they stopped taking her and she tended to her wounds herself.

But, the largest section of her records is the most telling.

Subjective: PT is a 16 y/o mixed race female currently admitted following SI attempt. PT was reportedly found in bathroom by family maid and transported to ER by ambulance where she was formally admitted. PT does not appear fully oriented to person, place, and time. PT offered minimal responses to questions and would only speak when prompted. PT denies auditory and visual hallucinations. PT reports wanting to be with mother who is deceased. PT reports no will to live. PT indicated yes with a head nod when asked about hx of sexual trauma. PT observed to become teary eyed following this acknowledgment and would not speak on nature of trauma. PT began to cry and moved into fetal position after being asked reasons for attempt. PT was heard repeating the question, “why didn’t you let me die?” PT became unresponsive after this exchange.

Assessment: PT presents with flat affect and depressed mood. Presents with poor insight and impulse control. PT’s wrists medically wrapped. Faded scars and bruises observed on PT’s arms, legs and partially faded bruise on left eye. PT also has scars on both arms and face, reportedly from knife attack during childhood.

Objective: PT does not appear stable enough to be released from care. Fx is severely impaired. I suspect a long history of complex trauma, confirmed sexual abuse, and suspected physical abuse. Medical records from client’s initial admission indicate “numerous” pre-existing cuts on PT’s inner forearms, indicating repeated incidents of self-harm. I deem PT to be an imminent danger to herself and suspect a release would result in another SI attempt.

Plan: I strongly recommend client be transferred to an adolescent residential facility or kept inpatient at hospital where she can be monitored and placed on medication regimen as well as participate in intensive individual and group therapy to assist in mood stabilization.

If released and left untreated, it is my belief and professional opinion that PT will eventually be successful in efforts to end life.

Diagnosis: F43.10 Posttraumatic Stress Disorder w/ Dissociation

Roman keeps reading over this section of the file, but there’s one part that stands out the most.

PT indicated yes with a head nod when asked about hx of sexual trauma.

That’s the part that Roman can’t seem to move past. He’s read it all. Every fucking word. And it’s all horrific. But, it’s that one sentence, that one damn sentence that confirms what he’d started to suspect, had gradually started to put the pieces together to see the much larger, darker picture.

She’d been touched. He doesn’t know to what extent, but regardless of the specific nature, at fucking sixteen years old, she’d already been violated.

A single swoop of his big arm across the desk sends all of the items once neatly situated sprawled across the cherry wood flooring. Roman stands up and slams his fist down on the table, head down as he tries to calm his suddenly shot nerves.

Livid. He’s livid.

The Bloodline is a lot of things but that has never and will be one of them. It only took one time for some fucking piece of shit to even suggest the Bloodline enter the world of Human Trafficing to increase their reach and profits even more for everyone to know that’s where the line in the sand is drawn.

Roman’s never put a fucking bullet in someone’s head so fast.

The same urge he has currently.

An urge that’s almost instantly lessened by a small amount when his phone lights up and a name appears across his lock screen.

Solana

Eyes shutting, Roman runs his hand over his face and snatches the phone, unlocking it to view her text.

Solana: What time will you be home tonight?

Instantly, Roman feels a lessening of his anger, reading her message, almost hearing said message in her gentle voice. It’s a distraction but both a reminder of why he’s all upset. Solana’s softness doesn’t equate with the violence she’s experienced, the violation, the pain. Especially as a fucking child. Roman has never understood and has always been especially infuriated by violence against children. There’s wrong and then there’s immoral.

That’s beyond immoral.

Roman will never deny he’s committed his fair share of sins, earning a VIP spot in hell when that time finally comes, but that is something he could and will never get behind.

Solana: Just so I know what time to have dinner ready by…..

Her follow up is typical, always explaining what she doesn’t have to.

Roman gives her the best reply he can muster up at this moment in time.

Roman: Not sure. Don’t worry about that. Probably won’t get in until late.

And he truly doesn’t know, because going home in this state of anger won’t do her any good. He told her he’d try to be mindful of his temper around her, and this is just that. He doesn’t want to scare her.

He needs an outlet.

But, here lies the fucking dilemma.

Since he was a teenager, Roman’s outlet has always been sex. He’s the type to fuck away his feelings. Working out also helps, but sex always took the cake, helped out sometimes just a smidge or a shit ton more.

And in a different kind of world, he’d do just that working out with the same woman he finds himself infatuated over. His dick stiffens in his pants thinking back on the picture Naomi sent and wisely unsent to his disrespectful ass cousins.

But not before he could save it to his camera roll.

Roman has never and will never deny his physical attraction to Solana. She checks every box for him in that category, but she’s not an option. He can’t touch her. He can’t touch her because some fucking piece of shit did just that to her when she was essentially a child, and now she can’t stand to be touched because of it.

Roman finds himself returning to his previous level of rage.

He needs to work this off him.

And he knows just how.

Grabbing his phone and switching from Solana’s thread to hers, he shoots out a simple text.

Roman: I’m coming over.

________

True to his word, Roman gets back late after an…..interesting visit to see Samantha. Somewhat worth it, but mostly now just another irritating thing he has to handle. Not that her being upset bothers him in the slightest.

She can fuck off and ride off into the sunset for all he cares.

Granted, the non-asshole side of him, more a small section than a side, can understand why she was upset with him.

He just can’t find it in him to give a fuck.

What he does find, however, is something else.

Roman steps into the living room and sees none other than Solana sleeping on the sofa. Confused, he quietly moves closer in her direction and sits opposite of her on the sturdy, mahogany wood coffee table.

And he watches her, studies her sleeping expression, wondering if she had another nightmare. The possibility drags him back to his earlier disposition, the reason he didn’t allow himself to come back to the mansion at a more reasonable time.

He didn’t want to expose her to that. To that side of him.

Without much thought, he reaches for her face, fingers gently caressing the smooth skin of her cheek. She feels so soft, a stark contrast against his roughness.

In more than one area.

He’s not sure if she felt his gesture or, like him, is just a light sleeper because her eyes slowly start fluttering open. He waits for her to become more aware and cognizant, and she does, whispering, “hey.”

He matches her low volume. “Hey.” Roman studies her, asking, “you alright?”

She nods, gradually sitting up, and he tries not to notice how instead of wearing the type of baggy shirts he’s noticed she likes to sleep in, she’s donning a thin sleeved top that accentuates her chest. “Yeah, I—” She closes her mouth, and he can tell by the way her brows furrow slightly that she’s trying to figure out how to word whatever she wants to say. “You seemed off. I just—just wanted to make sure you were okay, but I guess I fell asleep….”

It’s Roman’s turn now to not quite understand or make sense of what he’s hearing, so he asks, still in that subdued voice, “you waited up for me?”

Roman can’t recall the last time anyone cared when and even if he made it home. He doesn’t know how to feel about this. At all.

With a sheepish expression, she nods, “tried to, at least.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” And it’s the truth. He doesn’t know why she would in the first place anyway. “It was just….a long day.”

Solana nods, “I get that.” He also takes note of the fact that she’s not stammering as much, doesn’t seem as jittery as he’s used to seeing her. “I should—I guess I’ll go to bed now.”

Roman doesn’t say anything, just sits back so she can stand up without him being too in her space. He especially understands now why that’s such a big thing for her.

But, it’s when she stands that his gaze seems to travel to her inner forearms, faded scars now having an even bleaker meaning as he now has the full story.

Another sentence from her medical report whizzes back to him.

If released and left untreated, it is my belief and professional opinion that PT will eventually be successful in efforts to end life.

He should write it. Roman knows this. Knows that she’d probably respond better and be more comfortable writing, but he also knows it makes him feel almost physically uncomfortable with having to wait to get a response.

He’s much too impatient for that shit.

He needs to say this shit now.

“Solana.”

She’s halfway to the staircase and turns around, “yes?”

Roman’s never been one to beat around the bush, so he gets straight to the point. “You used to cut, right?”

Always perceptive, Roman sees the shock in her face at his question, the unease that brews as she nervously runs her hand along the side of her cardigan pajama pants. “I—yes, but—not since….it’s been a long time.”

He half expected to have to ask her about the last time she actually did it, though he can tell by how faded the scars are that it has been quite some time, so he believes her. Knows she’s telling the truth.

Still, he needs to make something perfectly clear.

“Any of those thoughts come back, you tell me. I don’t care if you have to paint it on the fucking wall. I want to know.” His intense expression is set right on her, needing to make sure she understands what he’s asking of her. “Understand?”

Solana looks just as confused as he feels as to why this is suddenly important to him, important that she knows she can come to him if those dark thoughts and urges occur. But still, she agrees, acknowledging in that same small voice.

“I understand….”

________

The breeder is only about a half hour out from the mansion, allowing for a drive that’s on the shorter side than what Roman was initially anticipating.

Just like he successfully anticipated Solana’s nervousness throughout that entire drive. She keeps looking out the window, most likely trying to navigate where they’re going. And if not for the unexpected but necessary business call he had to take that lasted almost the entirety of the drive, he would have tried to calm her nerves.

He’s realizing he doesn’t like seeing her so on edge.

When they arrive, Roman is the first to exit the SUV, circling around to open the door for her. She offers a nervous smile and steps out, Roman’s eyes darting to her ass, the sway of it in her yoga pants as she moves a bit away, taking in the average two story house in front of them.

She looks back at him, and he redirects his focus to her eyes, big, brown, and just as innocent as the rest of her. “Where—where are we?”

Paul also steps out of the car, almost immediately coughing and waving at some flying insect that whizzed at him. “In the middle of nowhere.” He then sets his cautious gaze on Roman. “My Tribal Chief, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I have terrible allergies—”

“I don’t care.” Roman cuts him off, speaking to Solana, gesturing with a nod of his head. “Come with me.”

A part of him wonders if she’ll hesitate, freeze up on him, maybe even refuse. But she instead moves closer to him, walking along his side as he leads them up the steps of the porch. He reaches for the doorbell and is almost instantaneously met with the sound of barking. Interestingly enough, one glance down at Solana and he sees a spark of excitement that chips away at her nerves.

A couple seconds later, the door opens revealing a middle aged white woman wearing an inauthentic smile. The kind of smile someone forces for a business meeting or possible transaction.

“You must be Mr. Reigns?” She correctly guesses, eyes then landing on Solana. “And you must be the Mrs?”

Roman places his hand on the small of Solana’s back, noticing how she initially tenses but, surprisingly, relaxes just a few seconds later. “My wife, Solana.”

Solana offers a small wave and polite hello but nothing more.

“I’m Beverly.” She introduces, but Roman doesn’t care. He doesn’t need to know shit about her except whatever her price is. She steps aside, motioning for them to come in. “Please.” He allows Solana to walk in first, followed by himself. When Paul doesn’t also follow suit, Roman turns around. “Wise Man.”

Paul, complexion starting to become pinkish, politely declines. “I’ll just wait here—”

“Wise Man.”

“Coming, My Tribal Chief.”

Once all three are inside, Betty or whoever, offers something to drink which all three decline, shortly after which the woman asks, “so, are we looking for—”

“It’s for her.” Roman motions to Solana who looks at him still wholly confused as a teenage girl, who looks like the spitting image of her mother, descends down the stairs. “Whatever she wants.”

Betty’s eyes light up as she directs the teenager. “Honey, can you take her outside to see the puppies?”

“Sure.” The teen’s voice is annoyingly preppy, like nails on the chalkboard, like a fucking cheerleader or something. “Follow me.”

Solana again looks at Roman, as if for guidance, but he only nods, encouraging her to follow. She’s still reluctant—he can see as such—but ultimately follows the blonde out the backdoor.

As soon as she’s out the door. Betty starts with the irritating sales pitch, talking to him about the history of Pomeranians, the benefits of that breed, dietary guidelines and other things he couldn’t give two shits about. It’s why he doesn’t hesitate to take the business call the minute his phone rings and instead advises Paul to listen to the woman talk.

He moves to the front of the house, securing another layer of privacy and doesn’t even hesitate to walk right past a wheezing Paul to head out back where Solana is once the call is over.

Roman finds her outside in the spacious yet somehow closed in yard. She’s sitting in the grass, legs open as a tiny dog, a puppy, moves back and forth between sitting in Solana’s lap and running in a circle before coming right back to her. Roman realizes she’s playing with the freakishly small animal, but beyond that, she’s smiling.

And laughing.

Roman can’t recall the last time, if ever, he’s seen her do the latter of the two. Even her smile is much larger, much more genuine than he’s seen her offer in the short time he’s known her..

“That one.” The woman, Bonnie, who came outside at one point with Paul, moves toward Roman. “She wants that one.”

Bonnie steps forward and frowns, slapping on that disingenuous smile he’s learned how to read all too well with years of experience working with people. “Oh no, that one’s not supposed to be out there. My daughter must have forgotten to pull her.”

Roman really does try sometimes with people, but they always end up fucking annoying him one way or another. “She wants that one.”

The woman stutters. “I–I’m sorry, but that dog is already under contract.”

Rolling his eyes, he asks, surprisingly calmly, not wanting to necessarily cause a scene in front of Solana. “How much?”

“Pardon?”

Roman does his best to hide his irritation at having to repeat himself. “How much?”

Betty releases a nervous smile, crossing her arms across her badly built body. “I—I can’t sell you a dog that’s already under contract, sir.”

Politics. It’s all politics. Roman knew the second Betty’s smile grew as her eyes landed on his Hublot watch that she saw this as a great, unexpected windfall. And she’s not entirely wrong. “Everyone has a fucking price, lady. Name yours.”

She stutters again. “Sir, I—I appreciate the interest, but that dog comes from a champion bloodline. The buyers intend to show her, so they’re paying a pretty penny.” She throws out casually, as if he can’t tell what she’s trying to do, the deal she’s trying to see if she can score. “They’re paying $10,000—”

There it is. The sin of greed that gets us all at one point or another.

Without second thought or guess, Roman states, “I’ll give you $20,000.”

As expected, her eyes nearly bulge out of her head, the expression highlighting excessive crows feet no doubt caused by unnecessary time spent under this scorching sun. “$20,000?” He doesn’t even have to counter again. “Well, I suppose I could offer them another puppy—”

“Good.” Roman knew right away “negotiating” with this woman wouldn’t take much. She’s in it for a clean, high profit, which is fair considering one could say that for all business owners. But, if all else failed, he had…..other strategies. But those are much messier, and he’d rather just throw a stack of cash her way so they could be on their merry fucking way. “Wise Man.”

Paul steps forward, pudgy cheeks reddened and eyes watering. “Yes, my Tribal Chief?”

“Pay the woman.”

Paul swallows. “But, my—”

“Wise Man.”

Paul’s cheeks redden as he nods and motions to the house. Roman doesn’t need to say anything else. “I will handle the sale. Shall we?”

As Roman allows his counsel to handle the closing of the deal, he walks over to Solana who looks over at him with that same smile. He crouches down near her, observing, “she seems to like you.” And it’s the truth, seeing how the other puppies are content with playing with each other, this one is sticking with Solana.

She looks at Roman, petting the top of its head carefully, looking back down with that happy smile.“Thank you for taking me—”

“She’s yours.”

Her head snaps in his direction, right as the dog climbs into her lap. “W–what?” Solana blinks, face painted in plausible confusion. “M–mine?”

Roman chuckles. “It’s certainly not for me.”

“Really?” Roman watches the hairy ass creature stand on its legs, as if demanding her attention. Attention whore ass.

“Yes, if you want her—”

“Yes,” she answers almost immediately, suddenly. And true to her nature, she’s already backtracking. “I mean—“

“You want her, so she’s yours,” he reiterates his previous statement, but there’s a tone of finality that lets Solana know he’s not open to a discussion or debate.

It’s a sure thing.

“She’d be your dog. Not mine.” He clarifies. Solana can tell it’s also his way of telling her he’s not doing shit to help her take care of this dog, which is more than fair since Solana would bet he had no plans to purchase a dog anytime soon.

So why is he?

She just has to ask again. “You don’t—-you really don’t care?”

It feels unreal. Too much like not an option. Not a reality. Why would he allow her a pet? Buy her a pet?

He eyes the animal that’s seemingly already taken so well to Solana. “She’s so damn small I’ll probably forget she’s there half the time.”

There’s that laugh again, and Roman finds himself with a small smile of his own, not as big, nor as genuine, but a smile nonetheless. But just as quick as it’s there, it’s gone. Clearing his throat, he asks, “what are you gonna name her?”

Solana looks down at the puppy in her lap, nestled so comfortably against her stomach, eyes fluttering close like she’s about to fall asleep. With a soft smile and gentle caress of her coat, she answers. “Dulce.”

Roman’s thick brows arch together as he asks, “is that Spanish?”

She nods, glancing over at him just long enough to answer. “It means sweet.”

He makes a sound. That lines up. For both of them.

The dog's eyes then land on him with as much disinterest he feels about it, quickly focusing back on Solana. “I suppose we’ll have to get supplies and shit for her.”

Roman doesn’t consider himself having a childhood, so he refers to what most call just that as his ‘formative year.’ And during those formative years, he never had a pet, so this is new to him as well, outside of just the common sense parts of owning a dog.

She’s petting the sleeping puppy “Aren’t you busy today?”

Yes. Always. Roman’s to-do list is on subscribe and save, constantly delivering him new shit when he’s still working on the old shit. It’s just a part of the job though.

“No,” he answers. “It can wait.”

________

A couple of stops at different stores to pick up all of the shit Solana needs for Dulce along with getting the first vet appointment scheduled for the puppy takes just under three hours, which still grants Roman plenty of time to head into the office. Not until, though, he makes sure Solana is good to go, good with being left alone with the dog.

He meant it when he said it was her dog and he wouldn’t be helping out and shit, but given it’s the first day, he can see how there could be some nerves there.

But, there’s not. She’s good to go, hence his okayness with leaving for a little while to get some work done.

She doesn’t text him as much during the day, a noticeable thing that he understands is because she’s spending time with the dog.

But, he does come home for lunch to get in a workout where he finds an entry in the notebook.

Roman,

Thank you so much.

I promise I’ll take care of her and keep her out of your way. Paul’s too. I’ll keep her in the room with me when he’s over.

I always wanted a dog, but my dad hates them, and even if he didn’t, I was always too scared Wes would do something to it or worse….just to hurt me. He hates me, if you didn’t notice….

Solana

Roman doesn’t take much, if any time, to reply. He’d prefer to talk to her in person, but Bayley and Naomi are over, the three women in the backyard playing with the dog. So, he allows her that time, settling for a written response.

Solana,

You’re welcome.

Don’t worry about Paul. He won’t fucking die from allergies, and if he does, oh well.

I noticed. It’s why I’ll never leave you alone with him or your shitty father. Ever.

Why does he hate you?

Roman

Solana is partially upset when she realizes she missed Roman coming home for a workout, not that she wanted to bother him, just maybe….see him. Maybe even talk to him. Possibly tell him thank you again in person vs writing it in the notebook, but after Naomi and Bayley are gone and she’s fed Dulce her dinner, Solana sees Roman replied, leaving the notebook on her bed this time.

Most likely for privacy.

The first part of his note makes her laugh, even if she doesn’t enjoy Paul clearly suffering from his allergies. The second part, however, Solana struggles with.

She doesn’t know how honest to be with Roman, doesn’t know where she should draw that line in the sand. However, it’s not missed upon her that everything she’s shared with him, he’s been surprisingly okay with. Never having such a major reaction that it made her second guess her sharing.

And the man just bought her a fucking dog, something she’s always wanted. For no apparent reason.

Maybe….maybe she can be a bit more honest, a bit more forthcoming, even if it is a somber truth.

Roman,

I don’t want to inconvenience Paul. That’s not fair to him….

Wes blames me for our mother’s murder, says it was my fault.

And he’s not wrong.

She is dead because of me.

Solana

The minute Solana brings the notebook to Roman’s room, she regrets it. She regrets opening up, regrets being so vulnerable with him. Just because he answers her questions and bought her a puppy doesn’t mean he gives two shits about her trauma.

She’s so tempted to sneak into his room and take the journal back. It keeps her up, makes her toss and turn as Dulce sleeps peacefully in her pink dog bed beside Solana’s.

But, it’s when Solana wakes up at 4am and notices the notebook on her nightstand, her anxiety reaches another level. Instead of avoiding it until morning, she sits up and snatches it, flipping to the page they’re on.

And her stomach achieves a new level of butterflies when she reads his response.

Solana,

It’s not your fault.

Also, you were wrong.

I care what you have to say and think.

Roman

#roman reigns fic #roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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theflyingfeeling · 1 month ago

Text

hello if you thought that this stupid band going on a stupid devastating world-crushing well-deserved hiatus would stop me from writing the terrible tragic miserable galaxy-brain Olli/Allu infidelity AU... lol think again <3

this one is sort of an independent sequel to this ficlet and takes place after The Decision™ 🖤

When Aleksi got back from the Hilltop Forest cottage, the first thing he did was get out his drum set.

It was dusty from having been untouched for months (or for years? Aleksi wasn’t sure anymore) and he suffered through multiple coughing fits while assembling it, but at last everything was in place. He spent another moment giving the cymbals a final polishing, a hint of a grin on his lips as he imagined Tommi’s voice scolding him for handling them so carelessly, then he sat on the stool that squeaked from the first touch since– yes, Aleksi still couldn’t remember since when exactly. Come to think of it, now that he was seated, alone in his studio, he tried and failed recalling the last time he had had time to just sit.

So he sat. He sat, until voices started echoing in his head. They were the voices of his bandmates, of their management team from Century Media. Of Joonas crying silently in the woodshed. Of her saying hi and how was the meeting before Aleksi had rushed to the studio to avoid having to say out loud what they had agreed on at the cottage.

Of Olli’s whisper by his ear, ordering him to stay quiet.

When the voices got too loud, he started playing.

And once he had started, he played for an entire week.

He played, until the bang of the drums muted all these voices. He played to mute the suffocating silence behind all that noise. He played until it became almost too dark to see in the studio, with the curtains drawn and the midnight sun covered by a thick veil of clouds, so he lit one of his scented candles and resumed playing. He played and played and played, from breakfast until sunset, skipping dinners and ignoring text messages from upstairs, asking him to please come to bed already, and when he stopped at last, when he could no longer hear a single thought swirling in his head, he was left in silence, his hands aching and trembling, his breathing coming in short puffs.

Something wet was spread on his cheeks. Sweat, he decided, and dried them off with the back of his palm.

Then he set the drumsticks aside, took out his phone and texted Olli.

I miss you already.

The second he had sent it, he wanted to unsend it, because fuck if it didn’t sound ridiculous and desperate – both of which he was, of course, but he didn’t need Olli to know that.

(As if Olli didn’t already, from the way Aleksi had begged for him to let him cum the last time they had been together.)

It was too late, though, because the second after the regret had hit him, the message was marked ‘seen’. Aleksi couldn’t pretend to be surprised, because that’s what he had gotten used to when texting with Olli. Sometimes he felt as if Olli was already typing his reply or calling him when Aleksi had barely lifted his thumb off the ‘send’ button. That was why it felt odd to see Olli was viewing his message but not writing back to him or to not feel the phone in his hand vibrate from an incoming call.

No matter how hard he stared at the screen, there seemed to be no reaction from Olli. It was such a strange feeling, one that scared him to the depths of his soul.

Is this what it’s going to be like from then on? Him in Oulu living his idyllic northern life in his idyllic northern home with her, and me down here in my desolate studio, missing him so much that I want to scream and rip my hair off?

Suddenly it was getting too loud again in Aleksi’s head, so he grabbed the drumsticks and was all but ready to bang his longing away, right until he’d feel numb, and not just in his hands. He never got around to it, though; if he had started playing a second earlier, he wouldn’t have heard the quiet knock on the door interrupting his intentions.

Which was an odd thing to hear in the first place, because no one ever knocked on his door.

Joel never knocked, because he always just sent Aleksi a text informing him he had arrived and Aleksi would find him standing awkwardly behind his studio door. Niko never knocked, as he just stormed right in the studio to play Aleksi his new song ideas, not noticing (or caring) what he was interrupting, even if it was Aleksi about to slide his hand down his pants in a delusional daydream about a mutual friend of theirs. Joonas never knocked either; Aleksi usually learnt of his arrival from upstairs where he’d be playing with Rilla before coming down to greet Aleksi.

She never knocked, because she never came to the studio. It was the one place that was his, only his in the house, from the walls he had painted himself, to the wobbly Ikea shelves he had assembled alone at two in the morning with a great deal of swearing and maybe even tears – although he wouldn’t admit it – to the shabby couch he had gotten from his mother when she had moved houses, to the polaroids that kept him company by his computer when he worked and which could have him travel back in time and space in the blink of an eye, to memories he would be treasuring until the very end of everything.

(All of them had Olli as the main character.)

And, well, Rilla never knocked, because she was just a little dog with no hands, so Aleksi was baffled as to who would be behind his studio door, at almost midnight on a Tuesday. During the four steps it took him to reach the door, Aleksi’s guesses on who he’d reveal when opening it ranged from an annoyed neighbour complaining about the noise, to the studio ghost his Twitch viewers kept joking about, asking to be let back in after having sneaked out when Aleksi had gone upstairs for some coffee, and somehow all of that seemed to make much more sense than what he did find behind the door.

He had not expected to find a familiar mop of curls and a pair of sad, grey eyes staring straight into his.

“Hey,” Olli said.

“Huh,” Aleksi replied, which was an accurate expression of how he was feeling.

“I’m just… here are your shorts.” Olli was handing him a bundle of black fabric.

“Huh,” Aleksi repeated, still bewildered about the latest turn of events. He looked at the alleged shorts in Olli’s hand, then at Olli, and again at the shorts. “You… did you come from Oulu just to give me these?”

“Uhhh. Yeah.” Olli looked almost embarrassed now, his gaze having fallen to the garment he was holding, his chin lowered closer to his chest.

“But… We’re gonna see each other next week. You could have given them to me at Provinssi.”

As if there was something in Olli’s eye, he blinked rapidly while reaching towards Aleksi until he took the shorts from Olli’s hand.

“I thought you’d maybe need them before that. They’ve promised a heatwave after midsummer.”

Aleksi felt the worn fabric. It smelled different, of an unfamiliar conditioner. He wanted the garment out of his hands, but he didn’t want to seem rude; Olli had travelled all this way, seemingly to just give Aleksi back his stupid shorts, the ones he had seen Olli pack in his backpack (by accident or on purpose, Aleksi could only guess) the morning after they had made love for the last time and had said nothing of it (out of courtesy or on some twisted, selfish whim of his mind, Aleksi wasn’t sure).

“Well. Thanks,” he said, and tried his best to sound grateful. Perhaps, if Olli had stolen a piece of his heart and taken it to Oulu with him, it was only fair that he at least returned his shorts.

“Well,” Olli’s eyes wandered somewhere past Aleksi, now that he no longer had anything his hands to fix his eyes on, “guess I’ll get back, then.”

“No,” Aleksi heard himself say, way before his useless brain could follow. “Don’t go.”

Aleksi searched for Olli’s gaze, but when he finally found it, he regretted it immediately, for Olli’s eyes had welled with tears and his bottom lip was quivering.

“Don’t go,” Aleksi echoed himself. By then he was prepared to repeat it over and over, would have gotten on his knees if that was what it would have taken to make Olli stay, now that he was there in front of him again, for him to touch and hold if Olli only would let him.

Like he had, so many times before.

Even though he maybe shouldn’t have, for both their sake.

(Aleksi was terrified he might not, ever again.)

Olli stepped inside, the tips of their shoes touching. The sorrow in Olli’s eyes was going to drown Aleksi if he kept staring into it for too long, yet he couldn’t force himself to look anywhere else except into the depths of grey and blue.

How could he ever? Whenever he looked into Olli’s eyes, he felt loved like he had never before. He felt safe, even when the world around him was changing and scared him to the bone.

“I miss you already too,” Olli whispered. His voice was just as full of melancholy as his eyes. “Every day. Every second.”

That was the reply Aleksi had been left hanging without just a moment earlier. That was the reassurance Aleksi needed to toss the shorts in his hands aside and pull Olli in, their hips and chests and lips crashing together.

The heaviness inside Aleksi, the one he had tried to suffocate, gave room to hunger and yearning, to lust and urgency as they stumbled towards the couch, tangled in each other like vines. Olli let out small, soft whines with every kiss, as if he was in pain, and perhaps he was, although Aleksi hoped it was the kind of pain he himself was experiencing: pain of not having Olli close enough even though he was right there, in his arms, skin on bare skin once their shirts had flown off; pain of wanting someone you could not have, or rather, someone you did have but could not keep.

He could never keep Olli, not the way he wanted to, not for as long as he needed to. Keeping him forever was out of question, and it was naive to even wish for it, but would even that have been enough? Keeping him for one more night was nothing like forever, but it was more than never at all, was it not?

Maybe one more night was their forever.

Olli’s face was sombre, with his eyebrows straight lines and his lips only just parted, when Aleksi took off the rest of his clothes, never taking his eyes off Olli who lay on his back. Their eye contact was broken when Aleksi touched his lips on Olli’s exposed stomach and Olli closed his eyes, sighing out loud his satisfaction. The sighs grew louder the closer Aleksi got to Olli’s cock, so that when he finally took it in between his lips, Olli was full-on moaning – dangerously loud, but Aleksi had no intention to silence him. Olli moaning out of pleasure was the most beautiful sound Aleksi had ever heard, and if he was the cause of it, he would always do his everything to keep Olli going.

Olli was perfect under his touch. Olli was perfect inside his mouth. Olli was perfect in all the ways Aleksi could imagine; so perfect and gorgeous and sexy that Aleksi could have come just from sucking him off, just from making Olli feel good, which he had had done, in fact, many times before, but tonight he was feeling a little more selfish. He could have rubbed himself off against the couch cushions while having Olli flood his mouth with his hot cum, but the heaviness that threatened to return to his chest had other ideas.

He expected Olli to object when he gave the tip of Olli’s erection one last kiss before sitting up, but the man only looked up at him in silence with hooded, darkened eyes. Without a word exchanged, Olli spread his thighs as Aleksi positioned himself in between them and guided his own throbbing cock to Olli’s rim. Then Aleksi glanced at Olli, to wordlessly ask if he needed preparation, but instead of nodding or showing any hesitation, Olli took Aleksi by the back of his head and brought him in for another kiss.

They kissed until Aleksi slid inside Olli, as slowly as he could so as to not hurt him without driving himself crazy with want. They kissed until the throbbing of Aleksi’s cock became unbearable and Olli urged him to do something about it with a roll of his hips, because of course Olli noticed when Aleksi was losing it. They kissed until Aleksi began moving, in and out of Olli, tears rising into both their eyes with every deep thrust. They kissed until Aleksi was fully fucking into Olli, no longer able to hold himself back. They kissed and kissed and kissed, soft and rough at the same time, loving and furious, blissful and heartbroken, until Aleksi felt Olli tighten around him and cry into his mouth, until Aleksi filled Olli with his seed and kept on rocking his hips until he was spent, until there was nothing left of him except what there’d always be left of him, even when he was too exhausted or fucked up to feel anything else:

his love for Olli. His bottomless, hopeless, good-for-nothing love for Olli, which he would soon have nowhere to put, nowhere to waste on, nowhere to keep it safe until–

Until what? Until the stars would align and everything keeping them apart from each other would magically disappear with the northern wind? Until Olli would abandon his perfect life in Oulu and run back to him?

It was foolish, Aleksi knew, but it was his only hope. It was all he had left.

Besides, is that not exactly what Olli had done tonight? Perhaps it wasn’t as foolish after all, Aleksi thought as they lay naked on his studio couch. There was still no room for words, despite Aleksi’s insufferable need to tell Olli how much he needed him and how much he was going to miss him, even if Olli wasn’t exactly going anywhere from his life. He wasn’t going anywhere, except for his home in Oulu, but somehow, suddenly, Oulu seemed farther than it had ever been.

And Aleksi was scared it would only move farther away in time.

Slowly, drifting them apart.

There was no room for words, but there were two that Aleksi still couldn’t keep inside his mouth.

“Don’t go.”

Olli traced Aleksi’s arm with his fingertips. Aleksi wondered how long it would take for them to touch a bass again after Christmas.

Or him, after this night.

Still, Aleksi found great comfort in the touch and buried his head against Olli’s neck. The kiss he then felt on his forehead would have been enough of an answer already, but he didn’t mind hearing Olli’s words either.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

#blind channel rpf #blind channel fanfiction #ollixallu #random tumblr ficlets by theflyingfeeling #wrote this yesterday because i needed to. because writing helps #if you read it i hope it helps you too (even if it's sorta sad) <3 #i'm sorry but i just enjoy writing this stuff way too much lol #but yeah i say i needed to write this rn but this time i'm ACTUALLY going to try and write something less sad next!#i already have an idea and there's no way you can predict what it is sgshfhfhdjdjdf (iykyk)#sending my love to all of you btw!!#and especially to all of those who have been with me for these past few days. you know who you are and i love you all so much💖#probably still going to be avoiding tumblr for a little while and... idk watch hilda furacão and listen to NHL podcasts sdgshshssdg #but i'll be checking my notes and dms 🫶

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pierofilm · 1 year ago

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hi :)

can i please request a one shot with Yuma where you start getting sick but don't tell him because he will worry so when he finally finds out you aren't feeling well he rushes over and babies the shit out of you. like you're almost overwhelmed with his love for you

i appreciate you ♡

PROMISE | NAKAKITA YUMA、&TEAM

warning: just fluff meant to make u delulu 4 life (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)❤︎

getting sick is one thing and it shouldn't have bothered you this much considering it should only last three minimum days if you just take your meds. yet this annoyingly stubborn sickness persisted more than three days despite doing so.

it shouldn't have bothered you this much, really. yet the thing is you just couldn't bear your boyfriend to see you this way.

you couldn't let yuma who had been occupied with so much work recently to find out about your miserable state that you had been keeping for more than three days now with the initial thought that you would heal pretty fast.

even on the phone with yuma, you even go as far as to held the need to cough like a dying fish just to keep him from knowing about it. knowing very well that if he found out, he would drop everything at once and appear before your apartment's door.

this adorable boyfriend of yours is truly the embodiment of a perfect dream boy, yet to worry him just because of your petty sickness is not what you want to happen.

until your dumb of a best friend had to run her mouth in the group chat that also had your boyfriend in it—accidentally revealing that you had been sick for almost a week now.

accidentally, that is.

your boyfriend, in conclusion; is a very, very busy man and so he doesn't always check his messages and so you immediately texted your bestfriend to freaking unsend her message but all was done when you saw your boyfriend's profile below the messages amongst others, marking the 'read' status.

now your phone were bombarded with numerous messages from your busy boyfriend, asking you all sorts of questions ranging from 'how could you', 'why didn't you tell me', to 'i'm coming now.'

you sighed terribly at the last message your boyfriend sent you,

you: YUMA BABE U DONT HAVE TO EXAGGERATE 😃

yuma<3: idc. stay right there.

of course, your apartment door were immediately bombarded with relentless knocks and ringing doorbells. you pulled the door opened with your boyfriend's eyebrows knitted in a tight frown, eyes holding a thousand of questions, and his lips in a heavy pout and down to his pair of fists gripping a few plastic bags.

"holy- yuma, it's just a minor flu!"

"nah, get in."

with your head now rested on the couch and a few layers of blanket covering your entire frame, your boyfriend opens his mouth slightly apart—urging you to do the same so he can feed you a spoonful of hot broth.

the warm liquid pushes down your throat, immediately soothing your chest and lungs, you sighed contentedly at this special treatment, unable to suppressed your small grin and yet yuma narrowed his eyes at you still repeating this particular sentence since he arrived.

"how could you?"

"i just don't want to worry you."

"what else am i suppose to do if not worry?" yuma fed you another spoonful, "i'm your boyfriend, (name). get it in your head."

"but you are busy—"

"god, you wouldn't want me to keep quiet too if i was sick right?" yuma raised his eyebrow at you as he placed the bowl on the table.

that had you shutting your mouth really damn quick, retreating in defeat as you lowered and shook your head slightly. you of course, wouldn't want him to keep it from you even the slightest bit. of course, you would want to be there for him as well.

that thought alone had you wondering all sorts of scenarios and what if's.

noticing this, yuma closes the distance between you both, placing his palms on your head to take your attention from your devouring thoughts. and it worked as you met his tender feline eyes looking into your soul.

you were never good at eye contact as it only does nothing but had your crippling anxiety surfaces and manifests on your face and hands. yet the way your boyfriend does it; his feline orbs and the way the shape of his eyes fluttered like the graceful motion of a cat's tail swaying up and down—had your lungs bubbling up in traces of tiny hearts and bubbles of comfort.

"promise me, you wouldn't do this anymore."

you didn't answer, and opting to nod instead and he wasn't satisfied judging by how the palm on your head shifts to a pair of palms now on your heated cheeks.

you weren't entirely sure whether your heated cheeks was because of your sickness or because of your boyfriend's presence.

"answer me, (name)."

you nodded again as your lips hang slightly apart to enunciate that two words he desires to hear, "i promise."

that alone had his serious demeanour quickly switching to his usual character, his snuggle tooth emerging as his lips pulled up in a wide grin. one that never fails to have you giggling at how adorable he was.

with no hesitation, much to your surprise—he pulls you into his embrace with his arms now wrapped around your small frame, his body heat mingling with your intense ones.

you protested a bit, worried that he might get sick as well. yet he didn't budge one bit, smothering your face with kisses that he knew would help you recover quick.

"you got me worried, do you know?"

"i'm sorry." your voice vibrated against his chest, your ears caught on to how his heart beat skipped a few loud beats.

"it's fine now.. but when i get sick, kiss me alot as well, hm?" yuma hummed in pure delight as he placed

"are you sure?" you raised your head to look up to him, "i think we wouldn't stop getting sick if i do."

yuma places a chaste tender kiss on the rosy hue on the tip of your nose, which had you scrunching your nose in pure giggles. and he did the same— scrunching his nose playfully as his warm palms patted your hair down.

"who cares, i need my doses of kisses too, you know?"

"silly."

"you too."

#andteam #&team #andteam yuma #nakakita yuma #&team yuma #andteam scenarios #andteam imagines #andteam fluff #&team fluff #&team imagines #&team oneshots #&team fanfic

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pressagie · 1 year ago

Note

tw: homophobia

hello!! first of all i just wanna say that i love your blog (@/diospirando) so much. i found you through your uquiz (which was really helpful btw). i came here to ask about my love life. here is a little bit about me: my hobbies include learning about marine life and watching films. i am a lesbian and come from a pretty religious family and almost everyone i know is also very religious. i haven’t come out to anyone for obvious reasons except for a few really close friends. i myself am not religious and have left my religion last year, however i feel this overwhelming sense of guilt for leaving even though whenever i try to come back to my religion i just can’t get myself to believe in it again. sometimes i wish i could just go back to believing in it like i did before and try my best to start liking men because i really dont want everyone i know and love to hate me. all of my irl friends are homophobic and i feel a lot of guilt for what i am and after constantly being told my whole life that i will go to hell for simply loving someone i just dont know anymore what to do because i am really so lonely. a lot of my irls are in relationships and i just wanted to ask if there is someone for me as well? like someone who is able to understand me unlike all of the other people in my life and accept me for who i am? and is there a chance of that person being a guy? (i know this sounds bad of me asking since i just said i am a lesbian but i really am just hoping that there is some guy out there that i will like so i can continue to have a good relationship with my family and friends). i am honestly just really sick of being lonely and not being understood, i just want to meet someone who gets me well. i have a preference for tarot but you can decide which works best for my situation. i’d also like to request a book passage and song of your choice. again, thank you and sorry for this question being so long.

hi im so sorry im the person who sent the last anonymous ask (the one that mentions being a lesbian and having a very religious family). i forgot to add something to it and i have no idea how to unsend/edit an ask because im kind of new to tumblr but i just wanted to add something to my question. I'd like to know about future patner and the type of person they are (any information is about), it can be their appearance, personality, achievements, where I'll meet them or even how they're doing currently in life whatever you can channel I'll be happy with anything. thank you :D

Hey 🤎

I'm so sorry you're going through that.

(And thank you for the TW.)

Speaking as a queer person with christian and queerphobic relatives: please remember that you can't choose to like men, or anyone for that matter. Obviously, attraction is fluid – but let me ask you this (and tell me to fuck off, if it's not my place): even if you were to be with a guy, would that solve all the problems which the people in your life have?

I can't tell you what to believe, just as no one should. But if you need to hear this, and it helps in any way: I promise that you're not going to hell for being a lesbian, and you deserve so much better than the judgement and guilt from your family and other people. You deserve to be happy, be it single or otherwise. You deserve understanding, to feel connected – and not only acceptance, but FULL BLOWN RESPECT.

(I'm really glad that you liked the quiz! Guessing you meant this one?)

(Did I understand correctly that you follow me @diospirando? Either way, feel free to come say hello 🥰 I'm very curious to know if we've interacted before, but no pressure!)

(Oh and you can't unsend/edit asks.)

Note: I added some info to my pinned post, and I recommend (to everyone who sent in questions) giving it a read.

Now on to your reading... I did try Tarot first like you asked, but the Oracle's what you get today 🤠

This deck is based on animals at risk of extinction in the Iberian Peninsula (where I live) and others with relevant roles in our mythologies/religions... I included their names, in case they have any personal, special meaning for you – and there are some marine species :]

Spoiler alert: you only got birds 😂 but at least 3/5 (that I checked) are related to the sea!

Is there someone for me as well?

— Who is able to understand me unlike all the other people in my life and accept me for who I am?

ASCENSION & the pigeon Columba palumbus azorica (horizontal)

I take the terms the author of this deck uses with several grains of salt cause I don't buy into the common spiritual associations with, e.g., ascension (but that's a conversation for another time) so here I'm taking the card to mean distancing yourself, traveling... Flying, if you want to be more literal.

This species is endemic to basically one of the Azores islands only – meaning it can't be found anywhere else in the world. If you combine this information, I think it's fair to say that you can find someone (to have a relationship like you want) if you look somewhere you already expect to find them, such as a specific community (that could very well be online)!

Sidenote: it landed on my lap instead of the table, and I usually use that to signal if something/someone has tried to catch your attention, or is still trying – so pay attention.

I'd like to know about my future partner and the type of person they are.

— Their appearance, personality, or even how they're doing currently in life.

RECOGNITION & the falcon Falco naumanni (horizontal) AUTHENTICITY & the gull Ichthyaetus audouinii (upright) + VISION & the eagle Aquila adalberti (inverted) WISDOM & the eagle-owl Bubo bubo (upright)

You may recognize each other from somewhere, but not like you knew each other well before (there is a Reunion card to symbolize that kind of previously established contact/relation in a stronger way). This falcon is a summer migrant so that might point to when you first crossed paths and/or will cross again.

Their personality is authentic, but you'll have a hard time seeing that (at first). This could be related to your own interests and lifestyle, and the concept of individuality (refer to the gull's and the eagle's links for inspiration to think deeper about this).

Either they're being thoughtful regarding how they live, and making wise choices, they're a student/teacher – or both! The Bubo bubo (adorable name) being a species of eagle-owl can indicate some connection to the previous eagle card (individuality, perspective...).

This is getting a little long so I'm gotta let you take it from here 🐚🌊

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (1865) Chapter III: A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE

«They were indeed a queer looking party that assembled on the bank – the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.»

Movement by Hozier in Spotify Singles (2019)

Thank you for trusting me to read for you. I would love to know what you think: if this resonates with your circumstances, and what comes of it. Don't be afraid to give me honest feedback and suggestions, after all, it'll help me become a better reader :]

Do you want to expand on this or have another topic to explore? Leave me a (follow-up) question!

You can always include the numbered tag associated with your reading(s), and I'll add it to the future posts as well, so they are identified as belonging to the same querent, and easier to find – check below, next to #OMEN DEAL.

For Ko-fi tips (zero pressure)

I honor the spirit who helps with my practice – for winding and guiding my path, learning how to sit with me, and being a light to read by.

Elioth Gruner's Milking Time / Araluen Valley

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skiesofthesketchy · 4 years ago

Text

Stood Up {1}

Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

Summary: You have a date with your friend that you’ve liked forever, but he never shows up.

Note: Heyyyyy Please read the warnings before proceeding. This is one of the darker things I’ve ever written, and it might trigger some people so please be careful. I’m usually a fluff writer but I’ve been feeling... ya know, down lately so this is what I made. I’m working on the second part to Unsend still, but haven’t been in the mood lately so sorry it’s taking so long!

Let me know what you think! :)

Word Count: 6.5k

Stood Up: {Part 2} / { Part 3}

WARNINGS: Violence and abuse! sexual violence! trauma! swearing, angst

***

Y/N’s P.O.V.

10:00 PM

I pulled my sweater tighter against me when I felt a small burst of wind, the chill making goosebumps surface on my bare legs. I looked left and right down the black street, but nobody was around. It was quiet, almost silent besides dried leaves scraping against the pavement, and the only light was the orange glow from the street lamps and the red neon sign above my head casting onto the empty street. It was a nice night, even with the cool breeze, but I could feel my nerves kicking in.

I tried to remain optimistic though. Maybe he’s just running late... I pulled out my phone again to see if JJ had texted me back, but he hadn’t.

On my way! See in you 20 :)

I sighed, looking at the last text I sent him. I only sent it hoping to remind him that we had plans tonight in case he forgot. He always forgets.

‘He’s just a forgetful person,’ I tell myself for what feels like the thousandth time. It’s usually that phrase that makes me feel better, or ‘He’s got a lot going on.’ I never make it a big deal when he misses our plans, even though it feels like a small piece of my heart breaks off and dies every time it happens.

‘This time is different though,’ I told myself. It was just yesterday that I mentioned the movie theater was showing a bunch of Quentin Tarantino films this week. I tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal, just a fun thing me and my friends could all do together, but I was truly very excited about it and really hoped they’d be down.

“Are they showing Kill Bill?” JJ asked with a smile. The other pogues didn’t seem interested but I was happy that JJ was.

“Yeah. Tomorrow night actually,” I shrugged.

“We should go.”

I smiled softly at him. “Sure, if you want to.”

He chuckled, blue eyes lighting up as he poked my cheek. I knew he could see right past my nonchalant demeanor. “That’s your favorite movie ever. Of course I want to go see it with you! My treat.”

I ignored the fluttering in my belly, but couldn’t hide my smile. He remembers my favorite movie and wants to watch it with me. “You don’t have to pay for me,” I shook my head with a laugh. I didn’t expect him to, but the fact that he offered made my chest warm. JJ doesn’t have much money to begin with, and with what he does have, he usually spends on weed and beer, necessities in his daily life.

“No, no,” he tsked, bringing me into a hug. My giddy grin was thankfully hidden in his chest. Being this close to him always makes me feel lighter than air, warmer than the summer breeze. “You’re my girl. Let me take you out,” he finished, chuckling into my hair.

I felt heat rise to my cheeks, like I always did when he called me his girl. I nodded in agreement once I pulled away from his embrace. “Ten o’clock tomorrow, okay?”

“I’ll be there,” he replied, saluting me with a wink before turning to join the conversation the rest of the pogues were engaged in, leaving me to internally gush about going on a date with the boy I’ve liked since forever.

Maybe it wasn’t a date, or maybe it was. I didn’t really know, but I didn’t care as long as I got to spend time with JJ. It really did feel like this time was different. My thoughts swirled, wondering if he likes me back. Wanting to take me to a movie makes it sound like he likes me, right?

Date or not, I wanted to look nice, so I spent more time getting ready than I normally did. I experimented with some light makeup, trying to make it subtle but still pretty. I left my hair down after making it look somewhat decent, something I hardly ever do because my go-to is always putting it up. I even picked out a dress to wear but made sure to choose one that JJ had seen me in plenty of times. I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard, but still hoped he would notice my appearance and think I looked pretty.

10:10 PM

The movie started ten minutes ago, and still no word from JJ. I glanced down at my shoes and hugged myself tighter. ‘Maybe he did forget... again.’ I didn’t want to believe it, giving JJ the benefit of the doubt like I always did. But he still wasn’t here.

Yo are you coming? I sent another text.

I was really excited about tonight, not just because I’d be seeing one of my favorite movies in the theaters as if it was premiering for the first time. Now I just feel... heavy. Like I’m carrying the weight of the reality I should’ve realized a long time ago. If I was important to him, he would remember our plans.

My frown deepened. That’s what it comes down to, right? If he actually cared about me, he would be here, or at least tell me he’s not going to make it. Constantly forgetting our plans is a huge sign that he doesn’t like me the way I like him, that I don’t matter to him enough to follow through. It’s a sign I’ve been ignoring even though it’s been there the whole time, blaringly obvious and all too painful.

No. JJ does care about me, even if it’s just as a friend. He’ll be here. He told me he would be.

10:20 PM

Spinning around and looking at the movie theater entrance, I thought about going inside and watching the movie anyway, but I suddenly wasn’t up for it anymore. This sick feeling in my gut was all I could think about.

Of course JJ doesn’t like me. Why did I get my hopes up so high when all he’s ever done is not show up? It hurts. It feels like something crawled up inside of me and slashed its claws at my dumb, naive heart. Its terrifying and hoarse voice whispering in my ear, “What did you expect?”

Perhaps this is my fault; letting myself fall for someone that doesn’t feel the same. JJ Maybank: one of my closest friends, the biggest player on the whole damn island, and the most emotionally unavailable boy I’ve ever met. Of course I had to fall for him. I’m a fucking idiot.

I slumped my shoulders, feeling defeated and tired. It’s like I was tossed to the side without a second thought, much like the trash lining the curb. My throat tightened with the emotions threatening to pour out in sobs, but I held them back. It’s not his fault. I’m the one with these stupid feelings, waiting around for him to feel them too, but he doesn’t.

10:30 PM

I checked my phone one last time, still nothing. With a deep sigh, I started walking towards the direction of my house. I focused my attention on my sandals hitting the sidewalk, each step feeling like another crack in my heart.

‘You’re fine,’ I told myself. ‘Don’t cry. You’re fine.’

But I wasn’t, and I felt the stubborn tears brim my eyes. I turned the corner and this street was much darker, the street lights dim and far apart. The sound of someone else’s footsteps pricked my ears, and I kept my head down to hide my frustration and the sadness running down my cheeks. I wanted the footsteps to belong to JJ, finally showing up but just a bit late. I knew better though, and didn’t bother looking up.

“Well, look who it is. A little pougie.” I halted in my tracks, my eyes flicking up to find his cold ones, and I shot him a glare. As if I needed something to make my night even worse. Fucking Rafe.

“Not even gonna say hello?” he asked. I kept my posture stiff and my stare hard, trying to act tough even though I was most certainly in a vulnerable state.

“What are you doing here, Rafe?” Rafe was predictable in the way that he lived to torture me and my friends. That’s the only reason he’d ever be caught dead in The Cut.

He stopped right in front of me, his tall frame dark and intimidating. Even under the blanket of night I could see his eyes were bloodshot and a sickening smirk lined his lips. He ignored my question as his eyes dragged up and down my body, making my stomach twist and skin crawl. “Where’s the rest of your dirty crew?” he spat.

“You’re lucky they’re not here.” I kept my tone steady, but I could feel my hands start to shake and an uneasy feeling settled inside of me. I need to get out of here.

With hands stuffed in his pockets, he leisurely walked around me, eyes still glued to my bare legs. “You look pretty,” he whispered. “Were you on a date?”

“No.”

“Then why are you all dressed up, darlin’?” His gaze met mine again when I spun around to face him, and with the way his features slightly softened, he probably noticed that I had been crying. “Oh. You were stood up, huh?”

Is it that obvious? “No,” I snapped.

He chuckled darkly, stepping even closer to me, and I took a step back. “His loss.” Then he just stood there staring at me while I was lost in a sea of confusion. Is he trying to be nice?

“Well. It’s been not so nice talking to you. I’m going home now.” I turned around to escape this unpleasant conversation, but I was spun back around with the man’s grip on my arm.

“Don’t leave. I’m not done talking to you.” I felt fear creep under my skin as I looked up at his face again, hardly able to make out anything but his eyes. He wasn’t asking, he was demanding.

“Leave me alone.” I tried to snatch my arm out of his grasp, but he pushed me into the brick wall of the building we were in front of.

The sudden movement caused me to stumble and twist my ankle. “Ow! Rafe, what the fuck!” I felt the pain shoot up my leg, but couldn’t focus on it for long. Rafe’s menacing features had panic surging through my veins as he came closer.

I pressed my back into the hard wall trying to separate myself as much as I could from the man towering over me. “You’ve had a rough night. Let me make you feel better,” he said. He stepped into me, his chest pressing against mine as he looked down at me.

“Get the fuck off of me,” I choked out.

His wicked laugh fanned over my face and I felt angry tears fall. “Come on, little poguie. At least I actually want you.” His words seemed to drive a knife into my chest. JJ doesn’t want me, but I don’t have time to think about that right now. I can hardly think of anything right now.

My palms rose to his chest, but he caught my wrists in his hands, keeping me from shoving him off. He laughed again, and the realization that Rafe isn’t sober washed over me like a tidal wave. What have I gotten myself into? “Let me go!” I screamed.

He shut me up by forcing his mouth onto mine. I screamed against his lips but he pressed into me harder. I started thrashing my body under the weight of his, but his hold became tighter. He brutally clutched both of my wrists into one of his large hands while the other came up to slap over my mouth, cutting off my cries.

“Just let it happen, darlin. Enjoy it,” he whispered into my ear. Hot tears ran down my face as I felt his lips on my neck. He sucked harshly on my skin as I squirmed, trying desperately to escape, but I couldn’t. Even if I couldn’t, I would die trying.

His mouth attacked my throat while I struggled between him and the wall. With the adrenaline pumping through my body, I used all of my strength and pushed him as hard as I possibly could. With the few inches I created between us, I picked my leg up and stomped my heel into his foot.

I prepared to bolt with the time I had bought myself, but a second later he was landing a ruthless slap to my face. I registered the burning pain as he pinned me to the wall with his body again. “Oh, now you’re really gonna get it, pogue.” His sudden anger shook me to my core, his sick laugh echoing in my ears like a fire alarm.

His hand landed on my thigh and dragged along my skin, pushing my dress up higher and higher as I felt the screams get caught in my throat. I dug my nails into his arms but he wasn’t bothered. He kissed me again and I took his bottom lip between my teeth, biting down hard until I tasted blood.

He yanked his head back, face twisting in rage. Even with his violating hands still searing into my skin, I brought my knee up into his crotch, and he yelled in pain. I didn’t waste any time and took off running, but I was yanked back by my hair.

“Fucking bitch!” My head throbbed as I crashed to the ground, feeling my elbows scrape the pavement. I was seeing stars as I felt Rafe’s weight drop on top of me, his form straddling me. I threw my fists wildly into his stomach and chest, desperately trying anything to escape him, but I knew my efforts were becoming futile. His ring-clad fist connected with my cheekbone and a sob crawled its way up my throat.

“Stop!” I screamed. His hand suddenly grabbed my throat, cutting off my cries once again. I clawed at his skin to get him to stop, but he only increased the pressure on my esophagus until I couldn’t breathe, and I squeezed my eyes shut. My world was spinning and my terror didn’t let me register the pain anymore, only the horrendous realization of what’s happening to me taking over my thoughts.

After what felt like minutes but was only a few seconds, I felt his breath fan over my face from where he hovered over me. “You’re not fucking worth the trouble.” He released my neck and I felt him get off of me, but I dared not open my eyes. I was too scared of what might happen. It surely became known when I felt a sharp kick to my stomach. I whimpered, then he landed another kick to my side. “Nobody wants you now! Nobody will ever want you! You’re just a dirty little pogue,” he seethed.

“Fucking bitch,” he spat again, and I heard his heavy footsteps as he stormed off, leaving me on the ground in pieces.

11:00 PM

I finally sat up, finding the strength to put myself together again, but was pulled into a coughing fit, my throat burning. I wish I could say I was numb, but I was brutally aware of the torment my body has been through, of the emotional trauma I’d have to live with.

I carefully stood to my feet but folded in half with arms wrapped around my stomach, clutching myself in pain. Everything hurts. I forced myself to straighten, holding back the tears. I felt broken in every way possible, but I willed myself to figure out how to get help.

I picked up my bag that had been tossed to the ground and rummaged through it for my cell phone. With a heavy heart, I called the one person that I needed more than anyone.

But of course, he didn’t answer. More tears were shed, even though it felt like I couldn’t possibly cry anymore. “Answer, goddammit,” I sobbed. I called again. “Please, JJ. Please. I need you.” Again, the call went to voicemail.

I let out a wail of anguish. Even with nasty bruises already forming on my skin, the loud shatter of my heart is what hurt the most. He’s never here. Even when I need him.

I didn’t even want to call anyone else. My ankle, my face, my stomach, my throat. Even though I was shaking in pain, I wanted to wallow in my heartbreak alone, so I slowly started walking again, and limped all the way home.

***

JJ’s P.O.V.

“How was the movie last night?”

I stretched my arms over my head with a yawn, barely registering what John B. asked. “Huh?”

He chuckled and sat next to me on the pullout couch in the living room where I slept. “You got back pretty late last night. I’m guessing you and Y/N had a good time?” Now I’m thinking it’s not just my sleep induced brain that’s making me so confused.

“What do you mean? I wasn’t with Y/N,” I groaned while rubbing my eyes, the sunlight seeping through the windows too bright and annoying.

“What do you mean, dude?” His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes suddenly flashed with anger. “You were supposed to take her to a movie last night.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I grumbled, getting even more annoyed. He doesn’t have a right to be pissed at me, not when I have no idea what he’s even pissed about. It’s too fucking early for this shit.

John B. stood up with a sharp laugh. “I can’t believe you forgot again, man. Seriously?”

I sat up, my anger matching his now. “You wanna tell me what this is about?” He shook his head before looking at me again, baffled.

“Y/N? Kill Bill? You guys had a date planned.”

I glared at him before realization finally hit me. I slapped my hand to my forehead. “Fuck. Was that supposed to be last night?”

He shook his head again. “You’re unbelievable, really.” I sighed. It was an honest mistake. At least I know she’ll forgive me. She always forgives me.

“I’ll fix it. I’m sure she won’t be mad.” John B. rolled his eyes. “And it wasn’t a date, by the way.”

“Yeah? Did you tell her that?”

“Stop talking in riddles, man. What the hell do you mean? Of course she knows.” He hit me on the back of the head, reminding me of my headache, the dreaded hangover starting to take effect. “Hey! What was that for?”

“She likes you, idiot! No idea why, considering you’re just a dick that doesn’t bother to show up to the plans you guys make.”

“Is this why you’re yelling at me? She doesn’t like me, dude. Not like that,” I rolled my eyes. I could punch him for getting on my case over nothing. Y/N doesn’t like me, and missing plans has never been a big deal. I just want to deal with my hangover in peace.

“You don’t deserve her. And she doesn’t deserve your shit,” he said, walking away into the kitchen.

“You’re getting mad over nothing. Fuck off,” I grunted, head in my hands. I need coffee and advil. His yelling is making my headache worse.

He sauntered back into the living room, throwing a bottle of painkillers at me, too forcefully if you ask me. “Just tell me, if you weren’t with Y/N, what did you do last night?”

I smirked, remembering the events that took place. “A hot blonde that I met at the boneyard,” my smirk widened. I expected some sort of congratulations from my best friend like usual, but I was met with a scoff and a water bottle being thrown at me.

“You’re a prick. You know that?”

“And you’re an asshole. What do you want from me?”

“Whatever, dude. Let’s just hope Y/N forgives you this time,” he snapped, walking away and finally leaving me in much needed silence.

“She will!” I yelled after him, hearing his bedroom door slam shut.

I sighed before gulping down the painkillers for my headache. I grabbed my discarded shorts from yesterday on the floor and grabbed my phone out of the pocket. I had forgotten that I put it on Do Not Disturb mode after the hot blonde and I left the party. Girls like it when you give them all of your attention, and aren’t distracted by calls and texts.

I sighed again when I saw the text’s from Y/N.

9:36 PM: On my way! See you in 20 :)

10:10 PM: Yo are you coming?

I sure feel like an asshole now. I hoped that she would’ve watched the movie without me anyway, but considering she called me twice at 11:00, she probably didn’t. I feel even worse now that I can see she waited over an hour for me. I typed out a text to her, but I wasn’t sure how to word this apology.

Hey, sorry I missed out last night. Got held up :)

I opted for keeping it nonchalant, not wanting to make this a big deal. I’ll make sure she knows how sorry I am the next time I see her. I’m not worried though. She’s the only one out of the pouges that doesn’t get mad at me when I do stupid shit, and she always forgives me. This time won’t be any different.

I laid back down with my arm covering my eyes, and I thought about what John B. said. Y/N doesn’t like me. She’d be stupid to like a fuck up like me. No, no, we’re just friends, and have been for years. I laughed at the thought.

John B. was right about one thing, though. I definitely don’t deserve her. She’s way too good for me, especially when I’m not good to her.

***

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I stood in front of the mirror and peered at my naked body in the reflection, tears spilling down my cheeks for what felt like the millionth time.

My eye was swollen and bruised, a cut on my cheek from Rafe’s ring. Large spots of sickly green and deep violet stained my torso. Dark rings around my wrists from his tight grip. A lighter purple ring wrapped around my neck from where Rafe’s hands had cut off my breathing.

My hot tears dripped from my face and landed on my collarbone, bringing my attention to the hickeys littering the side of my neck too. I wanted to vomit. I could take the physical assault, but that’s not all this was. He violated me. Kissed me. Sucked on my neck while his hands traveled under my dress.

Going to the police was a thought that bounced through my mind, but I couldn’t, not yet at least. I was much too unstable. I needed support if I was going to report it, but I still hadn’t told anyone what happened. I spent all of yesterday locked in my room, letting myself wallow in the pain.

JJ had texted me yesterday morning, apologizing for not showing up. A simple text wasn’t enough this time. He texted me again that afternoon.

I’m really sorry, Y/N. I’ll make it up to you. Please don’t be mad at me :(

I wasn’t mad. I was heartbroken, and didn’t bother responding to that text either. If he had shown up, I wouldn’t have been assaulted by Rafe. If he was there, we would have been happily watching my favorite movie, eating snacks and probably laughing at the gore displayed on the screen. If he was there, I wouldn’t have been crying in the dark streets alone, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I could have been raped. That I was almost raped.

The other pogues were trying to get a hold of me yesterday too, inviting me to their plans, but I never responded to anyone. I didn’t want to face them, or anyone for that matter. I didn’t even think I wanted to tell them what happened. It was all too much, and I didn’t want to relive it by telling anyone what Rafe had done to me. Not to mention it would add even more ammunition to the war between us and the kooks.

I don’t feel any different today, still just wanting to curl up in bed and be alone for probably forever, but I don’t have that luxury today. My mom had left for work this morning before I even woke up, but she sent me a text asking me to run some errands. When I protested, she gave me the whole lecture on how I only ever spend time with the pogues and never help out. I didn’t have a choice.

With one last glance in the mirror, I wiped the tears off my face and started getting dressed. I had to cover the bruises somehow, but makeup was not going to do the trick. Despite the hot temperature outside, I threw on a large sweatshirt over my sports bra. If I put the hood on, nobody would notice the disgusting marks lining my neck. I found a pair of my mom’s oversized sunglasses and they covered enough of my face to hide the cut on my cheek along with the black eye. I put on shorts and shoes and grabbed my bag before looking in the mirror one last time. Nobody would notice.

***

JJ’s P.O.V.

“Have you guys heard from Y/N?” Pope asked the group. “She hasn’t responded to any of my texts for like two days.” I frowned. At least I wasn’t the only one she was ignoring. I thought that she was probably still mad at me for bailing on our plans, but since she isn’t responding to Pope either, maybe she’s just busy with other things.

“No, I haven’t,” Kie answered. “Pretty weird, right?”

“Yeah, I wonder what’s up.” Pope’s face looked concerned suddenly, and I found my own expression matching his.

“Why don’t you ask JJ here,” John B. said, tone sharp with annoyance. Kie and Pope both whipped their heads towards me, eyebrows raised in question. I just scoffed, turning my attention back to waxing my board.

“What the hell did you do?” Pope asked. His accusing words pissed me off. Who said this was my fault?

“Nothing, okay? I just forgot we had plans, and--” I was cut off by John B.

“No surprise there,” he mumbled under his breath.

Kiara sighed, her disappointed eyes casting down on me. “Seriously, JJ?”

“What? You guys can’t pin the blame on me! I got distracted, it wasn’t my fault.”

John B. scoffed and I wanted to punch him, much like yesterday morning. “Yeah, what was her name again? The distraction, I mean.” I rolled my eyes.

“Come on, dude. Not cool,” Pope added with a shake of his head. With all three of them staring at me in dismay, it felt like my friends were attacking me. It’s also like they knew something I didn’t. Why is everything always my fault?

“Stop turning it into a big deal. I just forgot, okay? I already apologized, so it’s fine.”

“So she forgave you?” JB asked, eyes narrowed like he already knew the answer.

“Well, no...” I let my head drop, looking down at the golden sand with all of our beach gear. “She never responded. But come on, this is Y/N we’re talking about! She never stays mad for long.” The words were meant to get my friends off my back, but I found myself taking comfort in them too. I had never really seen Y/N mad before, but if she actually was mad at me, I hoped she’d let me make it up to her and forgive me. I let myself believe that everything would be fine.

Nobody had anything else to say, only sighing and turning their gazes away from me. I felt the anger sitting in the pit of my stomach, but at least they dropped the subject. I’m more upset that this might actually be my fault. ‘Y/N isn’t the type to get mad easily,’ I reminded myself again. But she’s also not the type to ignore her friends. My mind drifted, wondering if she’s okay.

“Eat up, boys,” Kie said, taking a stack of sandwiches out of the cooler she brought. We all sat down on our towels and started eating, but I couldn’t shake the thought of Y/N from my mind. Maybe I should text her again.

Hey. We’re all at the beach having lunch if you wanna join us. Even if you don’t, that’s ok. Just let me know you got this. We’re all worried about you. I’m worried about you...

I typed it out, but couldn’t bring myself to send it. If she really is ignoring us, I’m sure it’s for a good reason. Maybe it’s best to just give her space. She’ll reach out when she wants to. Whatever the reason, though, I really hope it’s not because of me. She’s the one person I can always count on to be on my side, and I don’t know what I’d do if I was the cause of her distancing from us.

“Oh, no way. It’s Y/N!” Pope interrupted my thoughts. My head turned to see where he was looking, and sure enough, it was my girl, passing through the boardwalk.

Pope was up on his feet and ran to her, calling over his shoulder that he’ll bring her over to us.

***

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Y/N! Hey!” I stopped in my tracks when I heard my name being shouted, and I noticed Pope running up from behind me.

“Oh, hey Pope,” I said, trying to swallow down my nerves. I didn’t plan on running into my friends here. I didn’t need them finding out about what happened the other night, so I put on a half-hearted smile, trying to act normal, trying to act okay.

“Where the hell have you been?” he asked with a laugh, pulling me into a bear hug. I held back my wince from where he grabbed my sides, the bruises there shooting pain through my body.

“Oh, ya know,” I gulped. “Just busy with my family.” I was glad that my sunglasses were dark enough so that he couldn’t see my eyes. If he could, he’d know I was lying within seconds. “Sorry I’ve been M.I.A.”

“It’s alright. Come on. We’re having lunch right now.” He grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the beach, and the other pogues sitting together on the beach came into my focus.

My eyes widened. “Uh, no, Pope. Sorry, but I have to go.” He stopped and gave me a weird look. “I... I’m running errands for my mom,” I shrugged, hoping he would let me go so that I don’t have to talk to the others, talk to JJ.

“Just come say hi then. Everyone missed you!” He tugged my hand again, but I didn’t budge from where I planted my feet in the sand.

“No, Pope. Really, I have to get going.” I didn’t have any other excuses up my sleeve, and I could feel my resolve coming undone. He gave me another weird look, probably wondering what the hell is going on with me. I wanted to tell him. I did, really. But I was not ready to talk about it. I didn’t need him or the others seeing what I looked like under this sweatshirt, or the black eye I was sporting under my glasses. I knew it would only cause more problems, more rage, and I couldn’t handle that right now. If anything, I just needed a hug.

“Is everything okay?” I looked down at my feet and sighed, trying to muster up the strength to lie to one of my best friends. When I looked back up to him, he had sent a look towards the pogues, and they all got up and started making their way over.

“Yes, Pope. I’m fine,” I breathed out a laugh, trying to cover up my panic. “I gotta go, now. Really.” I turned around to run away, but I was too late. The pogues had already crossed the beach and were surrounding me.

“Y/N! Hey, we missed you!” Kie smiled, pulling me into a hug. Again, I had to hide my grimace from the pain that engulfed me so that my friends couldn’t see. I knew I couldn’t keep up this act for long, and I felt my heart sinking further into my chest.

“Yeah, I’m glad we ran into you,” John B. smiled with a nod in my direction. His expression was soft and kind, and it strangely made me feel like he understood that I wasn’t all the way okay.

“There’s my girl,” JJ’s voice rang through my ears. He looked relieved, and pulled me into his chest, squeezing me tight. This time, I wasn’t able to hold in the small noise that escaped past my lips. When he pulled away, he looked down at me with concern. “You okay?”

I pushed him away. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I couldn’t put on a half-assed smile this time. He’s the one causing my pain. The one that bailed on me. The one that wasn’t there when I needed him, leaving me alone and in broken pieces on that horrible night.

“Why are you wearing a sweatshirt?” Kie laughed. “It’s like one hundred degrees out here.” I just shrugged my shoulders, even though I was dying under the heavy material and the heat of the sun. I looked over my shoulder down the boardwalk, trying to avoid their worried glances, especially JJ’s. I could feel his eyes burning into me, and I couldn’t bear the weight of it for much longer.

“Yeah, what the hell? It’s burning hot out here,” Pope added, and pulled my hood off my head.

“Pope, don’t,” I said. “I have to go.” I turned away after putting my hood back on and started walking, not even caring that they definitely know something’s wrong now. I just need to get away before I break down.

JJ was the one to catch up to me, leaving the pogues behind us and sharing worried looks. “Y/N, wait.” He grabbed my wrist, and I winced at the contact. “I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for missing our plans. I got held up with a touron, and you know how it is. She was so hot, how could I not go home with her?” he laughed. Looking up at him, I felt my heart shatter all over again. Of course. He wasn’t with me because he was hooking up with some girl. This fucking hurts more than the punch Rafe landed to my face, and I felt anger swell inside of me.

“Come on, you’re not mad at me, are you?” He smiled, bringing his hands up to cradle my face. He was being his charming self like usual, which is precisely the reason I even fell for him in the first place. But his cute dimples and bright eyes aren’t going to fix anything this time. If anything, they’re just another stab to my chest.

He could sense I wasn’t giving into him. “I’ll make it up to you. Promise,” he pouted. My lips parted to speak, but no words tumbled out. He suddenly ripped my sunglasses from my face.

“JJ, don’t!” His face dropped at the sight of my bruised eye. The glasses fell to the sand when he stepped closer to me, eyes scanning my face. I pushed him back, but he swatted my hands away.

“Y/N?” His features quickly turned from worried to angry. “What the fuck happened?” I felt tears pricking my eyes, but I held them back as I tried to push him away again. He yanked my hood off my head and I knew he was piecing it all together now.

He reached for the bottom of my sweatshirt, and my hands grabbed at his to try and stop him. “Leave me alone,” I yelled, but he didn’t. Despite my attempts to stop him, he had grabbed the bottom of my sweatshirt and started pulling it up over my head. “JJ, stop!” I yelled again, but I couldn’t fight him back anymore because it hurt too much. He had taken it all the way off, leaving me just in my sports bra, my beaten body on full display.

A series of gasps surrounded me as the other pogues gathered around us again, shocked and bewildered expressions on their faces. I watched JJ scan my body. His eyes lingered on the bruises on my belly before flicking to my face again, and then my neck. With the way his eyebrows furrowed and he clenched his jaw, I could tell he was examining the hickeys on my skin. Tears ran freely down my cheeks, and the silence was deafening.

“Oh, Y/N...” Kie whispered, eyes becoming glossy.

“What the fuck happened?!” JJ burst. His face was twisted in rage as his hands reached for me. I stepped away, but he grabbed my arms. “Who the fuck did this to you?!” I shook my head, trying to swallow the sob that was making its way up my throat. “Y/N, who the fuck was it?!”

“JJ! Lay off!” John B. spoke up. Kie had wrapped her arms around me, wanting to shield me from our angry friend. They could tell JJ wasn’t helping.

John B. and Pope pulled at JJ’s arms to get him to step back, but he exploded even more. “YN! Tell me who did this to you!” Seeing his reddened face and furious eyes made my own burning anger swim to the surface.

“Stop yelling at her!” Pope told JJ, him and JB still holding the blonde away from me.

“No! I swear to god I’m going to kill ‘em. What the FUCK happened??”

“It wouldn’t have happened if you had bothered to SHOW UP!” I flared, my voice slicing through the chaos among the group. My heated gaze met JJ’s, and his entire face fell at my words, the rage washing away from his pools of blue and replaced with sadness.

Everything seemed to still at my outburst, even my tears. I watched as JJ crumbled beneath the weight of my words. As angry and heartbroken and hurt as I was, I wanted to see him this way. I wanted him to feel guilty.

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t show up. I should've known you wouldn’t answer when I called you for help. Because you never do.” With every word I spat, I could see the effect they had on him. I kept my ruthless stare fixed on him. “Congrats on fucking some touron, though.”

Everyone stayed silent as I picked up my sweatshirt and sunglasses from the sand. I glanced at JJ one last time before putting my glasses back on and turning around, leaving everyone behind me without another word.

***

Read: Stood Up - Part 2

Masterlist

***

#outer banks #outer banks fic #obx #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #angst #jj maybank fic #jj x reader #rudy pankow #skiesofthesketchy #bricksatans #stood up

2K notes · View notes

tuffduff · 4 years ago

Text

Unprofessional (Axl Rose x Reader)

Pairing: fluffy modern!Axl Rose x younger!Female reader

Words: 2,139

Summary: You’re Axl’s younger personal assistant and doing his Christmas shopping for him. He appreciates all your hard work and gives you a little extra to buy something nice for yourself...for a good reason.

Taglist: @ubernoxa @the--blackdahlia @reigns420 @stradlin-cold-heartbreaker @rumoured-whispers

Explaining your job title over the years was perhaps the most difficult part of your job, not the work itself. Actually, the work was pretty fun. Spontaneous, never the same duties, and highly rewarding. But it wasn’t for everyone.

“Good morning,” you called out as you entered the large Malibu mansion that you knew every inch of.

“Y/N, sugar, that you? Hey, c’mere; you’re just in time.” You heard Axl’s voice calling you from one of the living rooms, the one with the view and Axl’s favorite grand piano.

He paused playing and smiled at you a little before he stood and silently handed you his credit card. You smiled knowingly and extended your other hand, to which he laughed.

“You already know.”

“Know that you hate Christmas shopping? Yes.”

“And that I very well can’t exactly walk around the mall casually.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” You smiled. Axl smiled back at you and you felt the familiar rush of warmth fill your heart.

“You’re damn good at it.”

Technically, you were what some would call a personal assistant. But, as the world knows, that extends itself to doing more than just boring paperwork and phone calls when you work for a celebrity. Or the most famous rock star in the world.

You had been working for Axl for years. At first, he was very combustible. Terrible mood swings and hard to please—he couldn’t keep an assistant. You never lost your patience though, and he realized he had someone that could trust in you. He told you as much. Now, he treated you like gold. You didn’t call him sir anymore, and he mainly called you sugar. Paid you more than necessary, sent flowers, sent flowers to your family, even bought you a house. In return you did everything for him; you were always by his side, day and night. Sometimes your family and friends didn’t know how you did it; Axl was your life.

Maybe you didn’t mind because you were in love with him.

Despite the age gap, you couldn’t deny the adoration he made you feel. The way he listened to you, how he remembered tiny details, how he never let anyone talk down on you. How he only really opened up to you. Your job wasn’t to fall in love with him, but how could you not? And it made work never really feel like work.

“Do you like the tree this year?” You asked him as you carefully secured his card in your wallet along with his shopping list. For some reason, he looked down.

“I love it, they did a beautiful job. But...” you frowned; Axl rarely ever complained of anything you took care of. He stepped closer to you, only inches from your face as he looked you in the eye. “I kinda miss it. Decorating it myself. You know?”

“Yeah. I can understand that.” You replied softly, before you cleared your throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was something you would want to do.” Axl nodded a little.

“Do you have a tree at yours?” You swallowed a little.

“No. To be honest, I’m not there enough.” You both knew you stayed more at Axl’s than yours.

“Did you pick the red and gold decorations?” He asked you, turning and glancing at the sweeping tree behind the two of you.

“Yeah. Thought it matched the interior...and you.” You couldn’t help but smile and reach out to sweep his red hair off his shoulder, to which he turned back to you with a smile of his own.

“If it were really up to you though, is that what you would have picked?” You paused at his question, frowning a little.

“...I think the best decorations are the ones that are so old you have to be careful with them, or else they’ll break. Passed down for generations, all vintage and mismatched, you know?” Axl smiled at you and was silent for a long time.

“Me too.” He said before he sat down again. “Well, good luck.” You grinned at him.

“I won’t need it; you won’t even have time to miss me.” You joked, turning on your heel to leave.

“I doubt that.” You nearly stopped at Axl’s words, before he called your name. “Oh, Y/N, I almost forgot.” He pulled out a separate envelope and extended it to you. Your name was on it and he only smiled at you. “See you soon.”

Outside in the privacy of your car, you opened the envelope. There was a note with Axl’s handwriting.

Get yourself something pretty to wear out. It still won’t be as pretty as you.

You blinked at the note several times and focused in on the bottom.

Yours, Axl xxx

Even knowing how much money Axl had and how much he spent, seeing the cash behind the note still made the envelope burn in your fingertips.

Five minutes later, you were still sitting there in your car, uncertain. Axl had given you Christmas presents, of course, but nothing like this. A house, a car, many other material things, but not a note you couldn’t help but create fantasies about.

What did it even mean? Was this just another gift? Or did it mean more, did it mean...

You did your best to stop the thoughts before they started. After all, you accompanied Axl to many events and it never really meant anything. He was just being kind and generous, as always. Besides, he probably didn’t even see you in that light.

You took care of Axl’s list easy, gifts for his inner circle, workers, the few suits he cared about. The hard part now was the array of dresses you had at your disposal before you. Beautiful cocktail dresses, sparkling gowns, silky slips.

Normally, when shopping for dresses for events with Axl, you always made sure to look professional first and foremost. Nothing too low-cut and showy, nothing with thigh slits, nothing too extravagant. But now?

Yes, now. What were you going to do with now?

Coincidentally, your phone buzzed and you saw it was a text from Axl himself.

How’s it goin?

Your list is taken care of! Just trying to pick a dress now :)

You wanted to unsend your text as soon as it was gone. Had he even meant for you to buy a dress? Your heart pounded when you felt another vibration in your hand.

I’d ask for pics, but I like surprises

You nearly dropped your phone. You felt your cheeks blushing. You were helpless to stop yourself from imagining taking suggestive, racy pics for him in these dresses, sending all of them to him.

And you almost did. But your job was important and if you were misreading signs, you didn’t want to lose it all.

Finally, you settled on a gorgeous red velvet mini dress. It had long sleeves to make up for short length, a deep v-cut neckline that somehow still looked sophisticated, and a subtle sash tie around your waist that complimented your figure.

Despite how much you loved it, you couldn’t help but wonder if Axl would like it the whole way back to him.

When you arrived, the sun was setting behind the mansion, now lit in beautiful twinkling Christmas lights. You hurried inside with the various bags of gifts, as well as the dress in a garment bag slung over your shoulder.

“Y/N?” Axl called as you walked into the house. You smiled, but felt yourself turn uncharacteristically shy at the very sight of him.

“I’m back,” you said lamely, frowning a little at yourself. Axl smiled at you and you couldn’t hold his gaze.

“You were wrong, you know.”

“Sorry, what?” You choked out, feeling your heart stop.

“I did miss you.” Your heart pounded.

“Uh,” you laughed nervously, sending him another wobbly smile. “Do you want to see what I bought?” You said, turning your attention to the bags you were setting down.

“I do. Why don’t you go and put it on?” You stopped, swallowing at the sudden dryness in your throat.

“Oh, uh...I mean...” you blinked a few times. “Oh—that reminds me.” You said, quickly opening your purse and pulling out the envelope to extend back to him. “I didn’t spend all the money.”

Axl clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to go and buy another.”

“What?” He chuckled at your face. The room felt hot as he stepped closer to you, and the sound his shoes made against the granite floors suddenly made you focus on his attire. “O-oh, are you going out? I’m not making you late, am I?” Axl raised his eyebrows at you.

“Yes. We are.” You frowned at him and he sighed lightly, flicking the envelope you still had slightly extended out towards him. “Was my note not clear enough?”

Suddenly, you didn’t feel so crazy anymore, but that didn’t mean your heart wasn’t racing.

“I think...for my sake...and the safety of my job,” you smiled a little and Axl chuckled. “I think you need to be very clear with me.” He reached forward and took your free hand in his.

“Y/N, all these years there’s only been one person by my side. Through the ups and downs, not just for the spotlight. You’ve taken good care of me and never left me ever worrying about anything. And I don’t just mean the dry cleaning and appearances. When I realized you...actually just wanted to be around me because you liked the person I am, and not just the money...” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. “And I don’t want you not by my side. I don’t want anyone else. And I never wanted to make you think I was going to use you, but honey, did you really not notice?”

“What, the gifts? The fact that I live in Malibu now? I just thought it was your nature.”

“Yes, I take care of the ones I love. That’s why I make sure you never have to want or need anything. But haven’t you noticed I never have women over? I’m never off to dates, women aren’t hanging off my shoulders anymore, people call me a lonely hermit?” You laughed a little. “It’s because there’s you. There’s a reason you’ve got your own room here; I don’t like it when you go home.”

Axl raised his hand and brushed your hair away from your face, leaving his hand against your cheek.

“I don’t either.” You murmured. “Axl…I’ve cared about you for years. But I couldn’t exactly tell you that. It would be unprofessional, but…”

“You thought about it.” He guessed. “About us.”

“Of course I did. I love doing things for you, but…I mean, of course I would love more.”

“I thought maybe the note would make everything clear.” Axl said, before he took the garment bag from your shoulder and unzipped it halfway. Red velvet met his gaze and he raised his eyes to you, a new suggestive look in his eyes as he raised an eyebrow at you. “...it looks like you got the hint, darlin’.”

“I didn’t want to assume.” You murmured, trying to fight a smile. “Girl like me can’t get her hopes up; it’s Christmas.” He grinned at you.

“That’s when miracles happen. Speaking of Christmas...” Axl said, turning and grabbing a small wrapped box from the top of the piano. “I did a little shopping of my own while you were out.” You put your hands on your hips.

“I thought that’s what I was for, and I thought we opened presents Christmas Day?”

“This one has more sentimental value.” He pressed it into your hands with a small smile. You shook your head at him as you pulled the ribbon and lifted the lid, surprised to see a small glass ornament. It was two penguins hugging wearing Santa hats, with Axl and Y/N engraved.

“Ax…” you murmured, feeling overwhelmed. Axl reached out and pulled you against him, hugging you tight and kissing the side of your head. “I…I love it.”

“Think it’s too late to start some traditions?” He asked you in your ear before gesturing to the tree before following behind you as you picked a prominent branch to put the ornament on display. “Next year, we’ll go and pick out our own tree and put up our own ornaments. But for now, why don’t you finally go and put on that dress so I can see you in it and we can get somethin’ to eat. We’re gonna need energy to wrap all of these.” He said, looking at the bags surrounding you. You smiled excitedly at him.

“You’re gonna love it.”

“Oh, I know I will. I just hope I don’t have to wait until Christmas Day to open it.”

#axl rose imagine #axl rose x reader #guns n roses #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses x reader #gnr #gnr imagine #classic rock imagine #modern!axl

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valkrylie · 4 years ago

Text

A Real Man

Summary: During your texting with Bucky, you reveal something personal to him.

Warnings: language, implied smexy activities

Author's Notes: hello hello! Here's another prompt written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club 🥰

Your phone vibrated next to you on the bed. A small smile already on your lips as Bucky's name lit up the screen. Your heart was thundering in your chest, relieved he finally answered. You sent a risky text, one you couldn't unsend and told him information he didn't even ask for, you were scared you overstepped and read the texts wrong.

It just this past week that the exchanges changed from friendly to personal.

Bucky: what do you mean doll?

You cursed yourself for telling him about your love life with your ex partner, and the lack of pleasure they gave you orally. The mood just flowed, you became brave and told him about your ex and now you wished the floor would open up and suck you into a dark abyss for ruining this.

You: it doesn't matter, please forget I said anything! What are you up to tonight?

The text bubbles immediately popped up and your heart began to race.

Bucky: tell me doll, he didn't eat your pussy out like a real man should?

Jesus christ. You clenched around nothing just from reading his words. All your fears and guilt quickly washed away.

You: Nope. Didn't give me an orgasm!"

The text was opened but Bucky didn't reply. Your lips puckered, wondering what he was doing or even thinking at this point. You could very easily climb off your bed and walk down the hall to his room and find out but after this exchange - a new country might be a better option.

Minutes passed and still no text from Bucky. Now you were convinced you had blown it. You were about to send another one to change the subject when a metal hand knocks at your door. Placing your phone on the night stand, you clamber off the bed - your foot gracefully getting tangled in the sheets in the process - and head towards the door.

Pulling the door open, Bucky is leaning against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest. Your cheeks heat up and you suddenly cringe.

"I'm sorry–"

"It's a real shame a boy doesn't appreciate his girl." Bucky interrupted, emphasizing the word boy.

"Oh. Yeah." You agreed.

"Tell me doll, do you want me to show you how a real man eats a pussy?"

Your throat becomes dry and your legs feel like jelly. His dark eyes and parted lips tell you he isn't fucking around.

"Yes please." You step aside and let him in.

"So polite." He comments, "Such a good girl. Come doll, lay on the bed and let me make you feel so good."

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x-lulu · 4 years ago

Text

outer banks

↳ ❤︎ series ☾ one shots ☀︎︎ ongoing ↳ my memory is really bad so these are just the ones that popped in my head or I have read multiple times :) I will update this list every time I read something new I think belonges on this list. there are so many more talented writers on tumblr than on this list and everybody has incredible work!!! ↳ I have to say that I really started as a jj/rudy simp, so a lot of work is fanfic for him, but I’m reading more and more for other characters/actors, so I’ll keep adding those :) ↳ also these are my favourite works of the authors, but you can binge their whole masterlist, because they are all masterpieces x ↳ you can always leave recommendations in my asks, it can be your own work too ;) ↳ I already reached the mention limit so I’m gonna make a part two 🙈

jj maybank

hook ups by @popcsheyward ❤︎ ☀︎︎

soul surfer by @favefandomimagines ❤︎

salt by @jjaybank ❤︎ ☀︎︎

work friends by @kikifromtheblock ❤︎

study sessions by @ptersparkers ❤︎

girl with no heartbeat by @thegreatestofheck ❤︎ ☀︎︎

the romantic tirades of indie routledge by @cognacdelights ❤︎ ☀︎︎

history by @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo ❤︎ ☀︎︎

don’t feel by @outrebanx ❤︎ ☀︎︎

take my hand by @jj-may-spank ❤︎ ☀︎︎

when there was me and you by @crxstalreeds ❤︎ ☀︎︎

troublemakers by @mayraki ❤︎

jj maybank must die by @lunarliza ❤︎

feel something by @babytkachuks ❤︎

the perfect girlfriend by @sarahcxmeron ❤︎ ☀︎︎

illicit affairs by @rekrappeter ❤︎ ☀︎︎

hero/heroine by @bricksatlandyswindow ❤︎

unsend and body language by @skiesofthesketchy ☾

innocent by @outerbankswriting ☾

leave a light on by @/milamaybank ☾

like a virgin and ratatouille by @chrlsgillespie ☾

go to town and if you don’t I will by @loveylangdon ☾

coming attraction by @pitaparka ☾

shut up by @maybank-starkey-obx ☾

rafe cameron

snowed in by @vinceduhn ❤︎

how to be a heartbreaker by @babytkachuks and @rekrappeter ❤︎

camping concupisence by @rafej-cambanks ☾

pope heyward

sunkissed by @crxstalreeds ❤︎ ☀︎︎

butterflies and bad lies @outerbankslut ❤︎ ☀︎︎

love and war by @bricksatlandyswindow ❤︎ ☀︎︎

the summer playlist by @pogueszn ❤︎ ☀︎︎

john b routledge

the night it happened by @obxwhore ❤︎ ☀︎︎

pretending by @anonymous0writer ❤︎

kiara carrera, I can’t seem to find who wrote these, so if you do, please let me know x

the truth of it all ☾

teaching how to braid ☾

affectionate ☾

sarah cameron

seven scenes from the same summer by @collecting-stories ❤︎ ☀︎︎

topper thorten

I don’t date white boys by @sortagaysortahigh ❤︎

multiple characters

complicated by @rafej-cambanks ❤︎ | jj and rafe

the best boys by @thedemonsimpofcamphalfblood ❤︎ ☀︎ | topper, rafe and kelce

how to get the girl by @crxstalreeds and @socialwriter ❤︎ ☀︎︎ | john b and jj

little village by @thegreatestofheck ❤︎ ☀︎︎ | the pogues

ivy by @sarahcxmeron ❤︎ ☀︎︎ | rafe and pope

a friend in need is a friend indeed by @pitaparka ☾ | jj and john b

rudy pankow

depth over distance by @nakedmossy ❤︎ ☀︎︎

shape of my heart by @ilovefandoms102 ❤︎

one day by @devil-in-those-eyes ❤︎ ☀︎︎

drew starkey

phone swap by @maybankiara ❤︎ ☀︎︎

#if you want to be removed or I said something wrong you can always send me a message and I’ll make it so that it works for you x #fic rec lists #outer banks #obx #fic rec #I haven’t really had time to read the last two months but in a week I have more time so I’ll read your recommendations #:))#my links don’t work atm so I’ll add those later

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nemesisadraste · 3 years ago

Text

Daily bug.

From : Nemesis Adraste

To : @cosmomugen

Setting : Lyoko, sometime during season 4.

Pov : Omniscient.

It was a normal day for the warriors. They woke up, took a shower, had breakfast, and then X.A.N.A. attack! The only less usual thing is that they were missing a warrior cause Ulrich was out on a scholar soccer tournament for the weekend. But it's not like that never happened before. They can handle it.

When Yumi arrives at the factory she finds with no surprise that she was the last. Her house was less close to it then Kadic after all. She always feels bad about having to lie to her parents. This feeling had worsened when they stopped using RTTP systematically because her parents actually remember those lies now. But it was for the best. For theirs and Hiroki's safety. Though considering how often they almost… that she almost… Was it really?

- Hey Yumi! Welcome to the party! Said Odd as soon as the elevators' doors opened at the lab level.

- Good morning! Replied Yumi, her dark train finally stopped. What's in it for us today Jérémie?

- Oh nothing special really. X.A.N.A. activated a tower on the mountain sector and hasn't shown himself on earth yet. If you hurry you might stop him before he actually does something so you three go down there asap!

Yumi, Odd and Aelita went in the elevator down to the scanner room and entered in one, ready for the virtualisation. The virtualisation went perfectly as usual… except for one little tiny detail…

- Odd?... What happened to your outfit? Asked Aelita.

Odd looked down at his outfit to realise that his all new all good lyoko outfit has been replaced by his old one that he never really liked. I mean the cat thing wasn't complete without hears and the old outfit wasn't well adjusted to him. It has elephant pants strapped with knee protection, big gloves instead of literal clawed arms, his shoulders weren't covered and for lyoko's sake it had Kiwi peeing on his chest like seriously?!!

- Einstein what's going on?!! Why do I have my old outfit back?! Is that a joke of yours? Cause the girls still have their new outfit on!

- I have no idea Odd… It must be a bug. Explained Einstein. You sure have a way to collect them.

- Or maybe X.A.N.A. is messing with you, said Aelita with her gentle laugh that'll make anyone forgive her anything.

- Well either way you have to fix this Einstein! I can't go on with my lyoko life with this old stuff on me.

Would you stop over dramatising for a sec Odd? I will fix this when I'll have the time I promise, but right now we have a tower to deactivate so focus on that ok?

- Ugh fine. There is no reflective thing on the mountains anyway so I'll try to forget that I'm badly dressed.

- You're too kind, sarcastically replied Yumi.

- I know, I know… Now let's get over it! The sooner we finish, the sooner Einstein can get my good outfit back!

- If Ulrich was here he'll probably tell you how well placed your priorities are. Remind the princess.

- Well he's not here so it's too bad.

- I can take a picture and send it to him so he doesn't miss out on this. Offered Aelita. I'm sure he would enjoy it!

- Don't you dare!

- Oups… too late! Bluffed Aelita.

- Unsend it! I won't hear the end of it if he sees it!

- Don't worry I was just kidding! Assured Aelita. I'm not evil.

- I'm sorry to interrupt you, but there are monsters coming your way. Warned Jérémie.

The rest of the mission went fine. They killed monsters and deactivated the tower without any damage done on earth. Not that they were aware of at least. So no need for RTTP. Too bad. Odd would have loved to see Ulrich's reaction when he would have suddenly gone back in time without warning.

That night, like almost every night, Jérémie didn't sleep. His work didn't end with the missions. He had to find new stuff against X.A.N.A., made sure the upgrades went perfectly with the current codes and system, worked on how to free William from X.A.N.A. and found Hopper, and as if this wasn't enough, now he had a bad outfit day to take care of. To be fair he understood Odd's frustration, but this was just a ridiculous glitch he would have gladly passed on. He still hadn't found the solution when Aelita entered his room.

- Still not sleeping I see. She said caringly.

- You neither. Observed the genius blond.

- I had another nightmare and I knew you would be awake all night over Odd's fashion problem so I thought I'll come to give you a hand. She said while gently crossing her arms around him from behind and kissing him on the check.

- Guess I can use the help. I kinda miss having you on my screen to talk through my insomnia. Admitted Jérémie.

- I miss those conversations too. Admitted Aelita. I also miss not having nightmares, she added. But you know I'm always here for you anyway right? I might not be available 24/7 on your computer screen anymore, but as much as I can I'll come help you and talk to you anytime you need it. And so are you friends. You don't have to do this alone.

- I know. I guess I'm just used to being alone. Just my computer and me you know. I'm the only one on the team except for you that know how those things work. It would be unfair of me to ask for their help for this and you have been through enough already without having to deal with a fashion crime on a computer.

- The same can be said for you, you know? Laugh Aelita. Also, fixing a little glitch is exactly what I need to forget my nightmares and the more the merrier right! Together we'll fix it in no time!

- If you say so. Accepted Jérémie. Ok let's give Odd his new outfit back before the next mission or he'll be worse than X.A.N.A. to deal with.

- Hmm… said Aelita… while we're on it, maybe we could also upgrade it a little no?

- What do you mean? Asked Jérémie.

- I mean… And she whispered her idea in the blond ear who had to contain himself to not burst laughing and wake up the entire floor and gladly accepted her Idea.

The next mission happened 5 days later. This time, everyone made it to the factory and when Odd got virtualized, he looked at his outfit, happy to see it exactly like before the bug. But that's because he couldn't see the back of it… When Odd started walking, turning his back to the others, they all started laughing.

- What's so funny? Asked the cat-boy.

- It's a shame you can't see your back, sais Ulrich, because you have an amazing portrait of Einstein with a crown saying "fashion king" in it 🤣🤣🤣

- WHAT?!!!! You're serious?!! How dare you?!!

- Don't blame him, it was my idea. Admitted Aelita. Don't worry Jérémie will take it away in a sec I just wanted Ulrich to enjoy this bug story too.

- Ha ha very funny… everyone had their laugh so you can take it away now Einstein.

- Wait! Scream Ulrich. Before you do this… Aelita, can you send me a picture of it please? I wanna make it my wallpaper.

- No problem answered Aelita

- NO! Screamed Odd. Einstein take it away now! He ordered while making sure that Aelita couldn't see his back and took a picture.

- I'm trying but I don't remember how too… I was really tired last night you know… give me a minute or two...

- Hurry!

Like I said, it was a normal day for the warriors. There were a lot like them in the past, and there will be a lot more in the future.

End.

Hi Cosmomugen! Here was my gift for you for the Code Swap project. I hope you liked it! Your prompts was Odd in his original lyoko outfit, Yumi and Jérémie X Aelita so I did a mix of the three… Tell me what you think of it and have a nice day!

#code lyoko #code swap

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btsmakesmehappy · 4 years ago

Text

Palate Cleanser | 2

Genre: Agent au, friends with benefit (sort of), Stranger to lover, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Agent!Taehyung x Baker!reader

Word Count: 7,7k

Rating: 18+ (M)

Warning: oral sex (M/F receiving), penetrative sex, protective sex, crying after sex

Chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 completed

Summary: Taehyung needs something to take his mind off his broken heart. His best friend, Jimin, suggests that he should meet another woman and the first woman he met was you. Would you help him even though you have your own problem, that you hate men?

a/n: Thankyou for @detectivebts for beta-read this!! Thankyou for staying sane after reading this bad-grammar story of mine. you’re my savior <3

Series Masterlist: The Company

You are awakened by the sound of your blaring alarm. Your head hurts so bad. You look at the table in front of you to find that there are two bottles of wine, not one. Why did you drink that much? Your neck is throbbing with pain because you fell asleep on the couch. You sit carefully and pick your phone on the floor to turn the alarm off, your eyes widening as you scroll through your messages.

01.24 am Y/N: Hi! I am y/n. Thank you for giving me your number. I am interested in your service. But first, I must ask you. How much is your pay? And do you accept any kinky requests? Because I have some, y’know. Kkk

You yell a silent scream. What the fuck did I send? You hold the message bubble to find an ‘unsend’ option, but there is none. That’s the beauty of messaging when you hit the send button, you can’t unsend it. You curse yourself silently. You scroll to the bottom, hoping Taehyung didn’t reply to you.

01.29 am Taehyung: I’m sorry, what?

01.30 am Y/n: you know... Are you a dom or sub? Kkk I am fine either way though.

01.31 am Y/n: but really. How much? I still have an installment on my coffee machine, so can you give me a discount?

01.31 am Y/n: you are so handsome. Plz?

You let your phone drop to the ground and you bang your head on the table. Jesus, what should I do now? You don’t even bother to look at the following messages. You feel as if you could die of embarrassment right now. Maybe you should just ignore the fact that you messaged him, pretend that it didn’t happen. Is it even possible to do damage control? You pick your phone again and hesitantly scroll through the messages.

01.34 am Taehyung: I don’t understand what you mean.

01.34 am Taehyung: but I am not a hooker

01.35 am Taehyung: also a bad idea for having an installment on a coffee machine.

Oh my God, I literally just told him that he is a prostitute. You bite your nails anxiously. You just lost your –maybe- a loyal customer from your bakery. Stupid drunk bitch.

You couldn’t work at all. You look at the door every time the bell rings, hoping it is the man with that curly hair. You sighed every time it wasn’t him.

Hani also notices that something is wrong with you. She has never seen you this agitated since high school when you waited for your mother to come home after you failed a class. And from that point on, she knows you are waiting for something or maybe someone. “Who are you waiting for?”

You jerk your head towards her and chuckled nervously. “What do you mean?”

“You have looked at the door almost 50 times already.” Then the bell rings, and you look at the door. “51 times.”

You fiddle the hem of your shirt. “Just someone.”

Her eyes twinkled in excitement. She marches towards you. “Who is this particular someone?” She smirks. “Is that handsome guy, isn’t it?”

Your eyes widen and your jaw drops. “How could you know?”

She puts her hands in front of her mouth. “Oh my God, finally! You like a guy!” She hugs you tightly. “I am so happy for you.”

You force-release her. “No, it’s not like that.”

She frowns her brows, thinking. “So why?”

“It’s just... I did something bad. And I think I need to apologize to him.” Your head drops.

Hani doesn’t ask anymore. She knows that you won’t explain anything further until you want to. There’s no point in forcing you to spill the beans. She smiles motherly. “Just apologize to him then.”

“Ho- How?” you bite your nails.

“Just find him, you dummy. You know where he works, right?”

You remember the card on your nightstand. “I think it is called ‘The Company’. But I don’t know where it is.”

Hani’s eyes widen. “What? He works in the Company? Wow. That’s so cool.”

You tilt your head. “You know where it is?”

“Of course I know! It is the big building around the corner, 2-3 blocks from here.” She points to the direction of the building. “I don’t know what that company does but it is always full of good looking people whenever I walk past it. Maybe it’s a modeling agency?”

“Would you mind if I go there for a bit?” You plead. “But should I? Won’t I be bothering him?”

“You’ll be fine! Just go!” She pats your shoulder. “And besides, you worked alone yesterday, and I have been feeling so guilty about it, so just think about it as a break too. Jackson is coming so I won’t be alone, don’t worry.”

You then walk to the locker and change to your usual clothes quickly. Before you walk to the door, you pick up some bread and muffins, putting them into a paper bag, not wanting to apologize without a peace offering. “I will go for a bit then.” You then stare at Hani. “And please, don’t have sex in the kitchen. It’s just unsanitary.”

You can see blush forming on her cheeks. She let out a dry laugh. “Fair enough. Just go already!”

You walk to the building with an anxious heart. Hani is right, it is not that far from your bakery. You can even see it in the distance, it is hard to miss, hundreds of glass windows towering above the other buildings. The security in the building is no joke too. You need to go through a security check before going inside. But you need an appointment before you go through the security. And It is just stupid of you to just walk to someone’s office without making an appointment, especially in this sophisticated of a building.

You pace restlessly in front of the building, maybe I should just call him? but what if he’s busy? Last night you accused him of being a prostitute and now you disturb him at work? What a nice person you are. Just when you decide to turn around and go back to your bakery, someone calls your name.

“Y/N?”

You turn your head to the source of the sound. And there is the person you want to avoid and see at the same time, standing in front of you. Destiny is funny sometimes. He wears a light blue shirt and gray pants, with a jacket thrown over his arm. He eyes you curiously, and then he walks towards you.

“Hello. Nice to see you again.” You nod politely, avoiding his gaze.

He smiles as he drags you to the sidewalk. “What are you doing here?”

You bite your lower lip harshly. Damn it! I haven’t thought about what I should say to him! You just look at your feet and gulp. “About last night..”

Taehyung hides his smile, “Oh about how you don’t care if I am a sub or a dom?”

You put your hand in front of his mouth quickly, before he says anything else. His lips attach to your palm and you can feel his hot breath against your skin, making your heart beats faster. “I-I was drunk, okay? I- I just want to apologize for last night.” You take your hand off his mouth and drop it to your side. You still can feel how soft his lips were on your hand. You then hold out the paper bag to him. “This is a gift.”

He takes the paper bag from you. “Oh, thanks. Don’t worry about it. We’ve all had that night at some points in our lives.” He chuckles. As he looks at you, he can’t help but notice how you won’t meet his eyes, how you fiddle with your shirt nervously. You look weird, weirdly cute. He can’t keep his eyes away from you.

Just before you reply to him, another man comes towards you two. “Taehyung-ah. Who are you talking to?” He stops when he looks at you, eyeing you curiously, taking in your figure. “So, who is the pretty lady?” He smiles. You look at him carefully, He too is an attractive man. What is this company exactly? He then puts his arms casually around Taehyung’s shoulders.

“Oh sorry Hyung, just my friend.” Taehyung replies. “This is Y/N. And Y/N, this is Hoseok.”

Hoseok reaches his hand out. And just like yesterday and every other day, you hesitate. You wonder if you could just run away from him, but it will be too impolite of you. Hell, you are here to apologize for last night, you don’t need another reason to apologize. You look at his hand, waiting for you, and finally, you decide to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you.” You say softly.

“Hi! It is nice to meet you.” The corners of his eyes crinkle with his big smile and the cute sound coming from his mouth, it is just so bright, like a ray of warm sunshine on an autumn day. You have never met such a shining person in your life. “Well, I want to get to know you, but I am afraid I have to go. I will wait in the car.” Hoseok pats Taehyung’s shoulder and waves to you. He walks to the black SUV parked in front of the building.

Taehyung nods to him while he still hides his laughter. He can feel how tense you are when you meet Hoseok. He just feels you are too cute, and at the same time, he is relieved that you are tense and nervous with every man, not only him. Also, the fact that you came to see him and talked to him, he has a weird feeling inside his chest. “Well, I should go. Thanks for the bread, I was starving.” He smiles. He leans to you and whispers to your ear. “I am not kidding, you know, about yesterday.” He winks. Taehyung the pats your head softly. “Please text me after you arrived safely at the bakery, okay?”

You can feel his warm breath on your ear and it makes you shudder. And his deep voice? It just makes your heart race. He smirks as he walks away from you. He suddenly turns around to you, “Y/N!” he yells. “Please bring the red bean paste bread next time! It was delicious!” He waves casually and gets into the car.

You’re left stunned on the sidewalk as the car pulls away. Taehyung is a unique guy, that’s for sure. How else can you explain his antics and his out-of-the-blue talking and not to mention his friendliness. You have never met a guy like him. You hate all men, but somehow you can’t hate this one. He seems to be a proper and a genuinely nice guy.

As your heart races rapidly and your hands go clammy, you turn around and walk back to your bakery, mulling over what to text him, a smile spreading across your face as your pace quickens.

Taehyung takes a piece of bread from the paper bag and eats it right away in the car. He forgot to have breakfast, and basically, you were like an angel sent from heaven for him just now. An angel with a bag full of food.

Hoseok drives the car and sometimes looks at Taehyung beside him. Taehyung looks more cheerful though, and it makes Hoseok relieved. “So, who is the girl?”

Taehyung raises his eyebrow and looks at him weirdly. “Are you okay, hyung? Did you forget that you actually just met her?” his mouth is still full of bread, trying to chew in between.

“I know it’s Y/N, dumbass. Where did you meet her?”

He swallows. “I met her in the bakery a few blocks from our office a couple of times.”

“Wow, isn’t it just fate? Like a movie? You met the girl coincidentally two times, no, three times!” Hoseok’s face lit up. He is always known to be a hopeless romantic like Jimin. But unfortunately for him, he has not met the love of his life yet. So somehow, poking into someone else’s love life is one of his hobbies.

“Not exactly.” He opens another bread. “She works there.”

Hoseok pouts. “Why are you ruining my fantasy? Then why did she go to our building then?”

“To meet me.”

“Oh my god! Does she love you? Was that why she looked for you?” Hoseok’s eyes twinkle in excitement.

“No. Please stop imagining things!” Taehyung chuckles. “She just wanted to apologize.”

He knits his eyebrow. “For what?”

Taehyung opens his third bread. His phone vibrates then, and when Taehyung opened it, it’s from thebreadgirl. It’s how he saves your name in his phone. He smiles. “It’s a secret.” He then types on the keys for a bit and puts it back into his pocket, a smile plastered to his face.

Hoseok presses his lips together, hiding his smile. He has known Taehyung for almost 5 years. He knows when Taehyung fell in love with that girl, how sad he was when she broke his heart. Hoseok knows all of that. But now it’s different. He has never seen Taehyung like this. And somehow he knows, Taehyung won’t be needing to go to the strip clubs anymore.

Taehyung yawns for the millionth time that afternoon. He thought that the job would be fun. But it is the opposite of that. It is boring. He can’t do anything. He can’t go anywhere. He is just in the car watching the target, who is nowhere to be seen in front of his office. He is glad that you gave him a bunch of bread. At least, they won’t starve during this stake-out.

“Hyung, how long do we wait for him?” Taehyung asks.

Hoseok chews the bread from you. “Probably a couple of hours. Oh, wait. There he is!”

Taehyung turns his head to the building. He can see a tall man holding his bag walking from the building. Park Chanyeol. He lives in the same neighborhood as Ji Seok. Last seen with him at a work party, a couple of days before Ji Seok went to Hawaii. Ji Seok has gone silent in the interrogation room, refusing to expose other plans or members. He is a damn good criminal.

Taehyung only heard from the other members how the interrogation went. Namjoon went first and as calm as Namjoon usually was, he almost threw his fists with Ji Seok. Almost, as he was stopped by Hoseok and Jin, who rushed to the interrogation room. Namjoon was then not allowed to enter the room because he was too emotional. Well, his girl almost got killed by Ji Seok, who wouldn’t be mad? Thus, Hoseok and Jin handled the interrogation. But they couldn’t find out any more clues about Black. Why does Ji Seok suddenly need money after all these years? It could only mean one thing, they’re preparing something. Then after many hours of investigating, Yoongi stumbled on something. The 3 suspects.

Chanyeol walks at the perfect time, the road full of people making it less likely he’ll notice he’s being followed. Taehyung puts his hat and gets out of the car. He walks towards Chanyeol quickly. Chanyeol is still busy using his phone, scrolling while walking. Taehyug catches up quickly, then, pretending to trip, he knocks the phone from his hand. As he picks it up, he quickly slips a tracker on the phone and hands it back to Chanyeol. He bows while apologizing profusely before turning tail and making his way back to the car.

“How is it?” Taehyung asks through his comm when he’s halfway back to the car.

Hoseok reports. “We got it. Let’s go back for now.”

Taehyung opens the car and jumps in, removing his hat. “So, what should we do now?”

“Well, you should check his schedule first, see if there’s anything suspicious. I am gonna follow him for a bit. You called me if you find anything, okay?”

Taehyung grumbles, “You do know, that it’d be easier to just kidnap him, right?”

Hoseok chuckles. “I know. But now, since our company has been noticed, we should be more subtle. You know how agents have to sometimes follow their target for several years before getting enough evidence?” he sighs. “Well, we might have to do that.”

Taehyung’s jaw drops. “What? Several years?” He whines. “I can’t handle this boring job!”

Hoseok pats his shoulder, “I don’t like this as much as you do.” He hands him a phone. “Here is Chanyeol's duplicate phone. I’ve just downloaded it. From now on, will we work carefully okay? You go back to the Company, and investigate it.”

Taehyung pouts as he gets out of the car. Hoseok then drives away, leaving Taehyung alone in the crowded road.

You walk to your apartment, with your phone on your hand. You scroll and look at the message you sent.

10.57 am Y/N: I arrived safely.

10.57 am Y/N: I still don’t understand why you asked me to do this when my bakery is just a few minutes away.

10.59 am Taehyung: good then

11.00 am Taehyung: never underestimate criminals, muffin.

11.01 am Taehyung: you can’t die. Who will pay for your coffee machine then? :(

11.03 am Y/N: pls stop. u jerk.

11.03 am Y/N: And why are you calling me muffin?

11.15 am Taehyung: your muffin was really good.

11.15 am Taehyung: thankyou. I will come back soon.

You feel a heat rushing to your face. It is weird for you, how a simple sentence can make your heart racing. You are positive that Taehyung is a playboy with a sweet mouth, whom you should stay away from as he’s surely only trouble, and yet you want to get closer to him. You want to know him better. You were attracted to him.

Maybe that’s why you dated Youngjae. You are always attracted to the wrong man. A man who cheated on you afterward.

You are envious of Hani. She chose a nice man who is now her boyfriend –soon to be fiance (as Jackson told you). She always chooses wisely. God only knows, maybe it is a gift.

You open your apartment’s door, kicking your shoes. You throw your jacket and purse on the couch. You look at the table, the wine bottles and glass have been neglected when you had the mental breakdown this morning. You take them and put them in the kitchen. You wash the glass quickly and hang it on the rack and you put the bottle beside your trash can. You begin to strip in front of your bathroom. You want to take a bath tonight. Your body is tired and you really hope that a hot bath can help you with it.

It has been a while since you took a bath. You have been so busy that you could only afford a shower. A bath is like a luxury to you. You light some candles and put bath salt in your bath. You put your phone in a waterproof bag to watch a movie on Netflix. After checking the temperature, you step into the bath. As the warmth envelopes you in, you feel relaxed for a bit.

Why does Taehyung want to help you in the first place? Is that just his trick to get a woman in his bed? Does he see you as an easy woman? Does he walk around the city finding insecure women and trick them to sleep with him? But he seems nice. Or all of the bad guys look like that? You thought Youngjae was a good man too before.

You sigh. It has been almost 5 years already, you have never been with a man since your ex. Why? Do you still love Youngjae? Is that why you can’t move on? Maybe you still have a little bit of feelings for him, he was your first love. And first loves never die, right?

Maybe Hani is right. Maybe you need it. Maybe you need to fuck it out of your system. It can’t hurt to use him right? And you basically know that he is a playboy, so you won’t catch feelings for him, right? Think of it as a one-night-stand. It’s just for sex, you think.

As you’re thinking of different approaches to ask Taehyung in a not slutty way, your phone chimes. You look at your phone and rise quickly from the bath, too quickly that it makes you feel dizzy. You wrap yourself in a towel and get out of the bath quickly.

Taehyung has already looked into Chanyeol’s phone for about ten times. He couldn’t find anything suspicious. He has already forwarded his schedule to Hoseok and Jin. And when Taehyung thinks that his work now is boring, Chanyeol’s work seems fun. Basically, he is paid by how much he eats. It’s like a fantastic job. Tonight, however, he only works at home, which means Taehyung and Hoseok will take turns staking out his place.

Taehyung stretches his body, he hates this kind of work. He was trained as a field agent, he specialized in firearms. He is good at it, hell, he is possibly the best shooter in the company. But he never wants to use his ability in a mission. He always refuses the mission that involves killing people, never once has he brought guns to the mission. He was once sent to war on the border as an aid when he was a recruit and he hated it. He hates the sound of the bullets going through flesh. He hates the smell of gunpowder. He hates blood seeping through the clothes.

The company and many agents love and envy his ability, and yet, he hates it. If he could choose, he wants the ability like Yoongi who can hack almost everything or Namjoon who was born a genius. And yet God gives him power. An ability to kill people.

It’s not that he can refuse the mission. He CAN’T. But when Taehyung threatened to resign from the company if they forced him to kill again, and it just freaked the Company out. So, he gets what he wants, and The Company can keep an eye on him, instead of letting him work somewhere else and becoming a danger to The Company or even the country. Yes, Taehyung is that good.

Maybe this mission is also a punishment for him and other members. They worked in Hawaii without the Higher-ups knowing, so now they are all stuck in this boring job. He sighs and looks around his office. Some are still working and some have already gone home, it’s almost 9 pm after all.

His stomach growls, he hasn’t eaten anything since noon, and it was only bread. He wants to eat something. He looks at his phone, wondering who he should ask to go to dinner with him. His only friends are the members and they are all still working. Should I go to eat by myself? He taps his phone on his thigh. He hates eating alone.

His eyes suddenly lit up. He then swipes his phone and clicks on the messages. He hits the send button and a smile plastered to his face, proudly. I think it is a good idea.

08.57 pm to Y/N: do you want to have dinner with me?

08.57 pm to Y/N: I will wait for you at the diner near your bakery.

08.58 pm to Y/N: see you soon. ;)

Wait. Why did I think about her?

You were shocked to receive those messages. You thought for a moment at first, but walked to your closet to choose your clothes. It was just dinner. And the invitation just came when you tried to figure out what to have for dinner, it is just a perfect coincidence. I did this because I have to eat.

You wear hoodies and jeans from the morning. You look at your reflection in the mirror. Your skin is dull, with some acne scars on your cheeks. Maybe I need some skincare. You shake your head quickly, it is not the time for that. You just grab your almost-dried cushion and pat it quickly on your face. You draw your eyebrows and wear your lip tint. You wanted to use your mascara, but unfortunately for you, it is all dried out. Goodness, you really need to go shopping. You have never paid any attention to yourself, you were busy studying and building a business. And all the make-up you use usually, were all gifts from your friends and family.

You look at your reflection one more time, to make sure you look okay. You grab your purse and your keys and run outside. Your hair is still wet after the bath and the chilly wind makes you shudder even more as you walk. You regret not bringing your jacket with you, yet you don’t want to go back to your apartment if that means making Taehyung wait any longer.

Wait. Why don’t I want to make him wait? You stop for a bit.

You shake your head. It is not for him, it is for your stomach. You are starving. You need food quickly.

You walk faster to the diner. Luckily for you, it is the middle of the week so the diner is not so crowded. You open the door and look around to find a brunette man. The said man waves to you and gestures you to come to him.

“Hey! Thank you for coming.” He smiles. He still wears the same clothes as the morning, so it seems he is from work. “Took you some time, btw.”

You sit on the chair in front of him. You sigh.”You know it’s impolite to ask a woman for an impromptu dinner like this, you know?”

He chuckles as he hands you the menu, while he calls the waiter. He then orders a bulgogi set and an ice tea, which looks good to you so you order the same. As the waiter walks away, he studies you. “Why is your hair wet?”

“I was taking a bath.” You roll your eyes. “So what do you want to talk about?”

He tilts his head. “Nothing.”

You frown your eyebrows. “Then why did you ask me to have dinner with you then?”

“It’s lonely to eat alone.”

“Then ask your friends to eat with you!” you are flabbergasted. He is a weird guy, really. You are just barely an acquaintance with him and yet he asked you to eat with him.

He shrugs, “all my friends are still working, so I asked you.” He beams his smile to you. “And I am sure, you have nothing to do, so, yeah.”

You pout, “I might have something to do!”

Taehyung leans his body towards you. His smile is mischievous. “Really? Like what?”

You did have a plan. You were planning to cook some ramen and eat it while watching Netflix. You think about it for a second, and it is just kind of pathetic. And he doesn’t have to know that stupid plan. “Fine. Fair enough.”

“But, I don’t really think you would show up, you know? I thought you hate men.”

“I do. But I thought you have something to say, so here I am.” You answer as you look at the windows.

It is a lie. Taehyung is amused by how easy it is to read you. You are like an open book. And the way you struggle to lie to save your face, it is just cute. And it makes him want to know you more. “Well, let’s just eat then.”

The food served in front of you. You quickly dig in as you both were starving. The conversations just flow right away. He asks what is your favorite food, how is your childhood. And you ask him how he treats his hair because it looks so soft, what is his favorite singer.

You should hate spending time with men. You felt so awkward when you talked to him yesterday. But apparently, you are now comfortable with him. it is like catching up with an old friend.

Your plate has already emptied when he calls for the waiter. He asks for tiramisu and you ask for an apple pie. And with you two sharing two pieces of desserts, it makes you more comfortable with him. His laughter and his easygoingness are contagious and makes you open up.

“So, your ex-boyfriend cheated on you?” He asks as he cuts your pie and brings it to his mouth.

You then steal a piece from his Tiramisu. “Uh-huh.” You reply dryly. “Why? Do I look pitiful?”

He shrugs. “A little.”

You glare at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s just a pity because of that one terrible man you threw your love life into a dumpster.” He swallows and grabs his tea. “Not all men like that.”

“Yeah, right. You are a man, of course, you will stand up for them.” You snort. “Give me some examples, then.”

“Me.”

You laugh aloud. “Dude, you asked a woman you’ve just met to sleep with you. It is kinda trashy.”

“Well, in my defense, it’s called palate cleanser.” He pouts. “I am just trying to be a nice guy and help you out!”

You nod your head and roll your eyes. “Right. And remind me once again, what does palate cleanser mean?”

He sighs. “Fine.” He trails his eyes to the windows, you can see a hint of blush on his cheeks. “It’s just... I thought we could help each other, you know. My friend also said that I need it too.”

Suddenly the door opened and his eyes widened. You look at him in confusion and turn your head to look at the couple who just entered the diner. The man is handsome with a tall figure. His hair combed neatly. The man smiles sweetly to the woman beside him, and you can see the dimple poking into his cheek. The woman is beautiful. She wears a work suit and heels, and you can feel the intimidating aura coming from her. They look at the menu and talk to the waiter. The woman suddenly turns her head and looks at your direction and smiles. She then drags the man to walk with her.

“Tae!” She yells happily as she walks to your table. “Oh hello!” She looks at you kindly. You smile and nod politely.

“Hi! Why are you two so late?” Taehyung asks. “Did Namjoon lose his keys again?”

Namjoon puts his hands on his hips. “That is unnecessary information! I was in the practice room, that’s why.”

The girl snorts. “Yeah, as you lost your key and locked yourself in.” The waiter then calls them to tell them that their food is ready. “Alright, we are going to go home now. Enjoy your night!” She then walks to the cashier to pick their food, and waves to you and Taehyung.

“Your colleague, I assume?” You ask while stirring your tea. But when you don’t get an answer, you raise your head. Taehyung looks out the window in the direction of the departing couple. You look at the way the man put his arm on her waist, it looks like they're in love. You study Taehyung’s face, he is emotionless. He looks like he is just staring at the road, but his eyes show sadness. “Taehyung?”

He jerks his head to you. “Ah yeah, I am sorry I spaced out.” He gives you a half-smile. “Let me walk you home.” He then asks the waiter for the bill. You both arguing about the bill, but he ended up paying.

The walk to your apartment has never felt this long. No more random conversations between you two. Taehyung has been silent since he saw the couple. Just with one look at him, when he saw her, you know that he loves her. You know that he is hurting. You know that he hides it with his laughter and smile. You know that he loses his composure when he sees her.

You stop in front of your apartment. “This is my apartment. Thank you for dinner and taking me home.” You smile.

“No problem. Thank you to you too.” He waves and turns around, walking away from you.

You can see his broad back. He looks tough, but he looks in pain.

You know because you were him before.

You’ve brokenhearted too.

But before, you had Hani and your family. And Taehyung? He does have his friends, but why do you feel that he is lonely? Why do you want to help him?

“Taehyung!!” you yelled. You then march towards him.

He turns his body to you, eyebrows raised in confusion. “What?”

When you arrive in front of him, you look at his eyes directly. “Let’s do it.”

“I’m sorry. What do you mean?” he asks back.

“Palate cleanser.”

Just before he says anything, you pull his shirt towards you as you crash your lips to his. He stiffens before relaxing and returning the kiss. He puts his hand behind your neck and puts the other one on your back, pulling you closer. You put your arms around his neck. At the moment, you enjoy how soft his lips on yours. His lips move languidly, molding to your lips. You can feel how your heart is racing inside your chest, how heat is forming inside your core. Taehyung opens your lips and pushes his tongue. He explores your mouth with his warm tongue, making you a moaning mess.

You intentionally grind your hips on his, making him moans in your mouth. You can feel his hardness underneath his pants, and it makes you stiff. He smirks in between the kisses as he grinds his hip back in motion. It makes you go crazy. You can feel the wetness seeping into your underwear. You release yourself from the kiss. “Would you like to come to my place?”

Taehyung’s pupils dilate and he gulps. He then picks his abandoned jacket and your purse from the road and drags you to your apartment. You chuckle as you walk faster in front of him. You pick your keys inside your purse and open the door.

As you enter your room, you feel nervous. What should I do now? You gulp as you throw your purse to the couch. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Is that the way you talk dirty?” He walks towards you and throws his jacket on the couch. “If it is, it could use some work, muffin.” He inches you back until you feel the back of your knees hit the couch.

“How about wine?” You feel the heat rushing to your face. You look to the side and when you try to walk away from him he grabs your wrist.

He chuckles. “Where is the brave girl who kissed me just a minute ago?” He cups your face and kisses you softly. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Y/N.” He says as he strokes your cheeks.

You look at his brown eyes. They’re mesmerizing. They’re full of lust but also filled with sadness. You kiss his lips quickly. “I want to. I am just nervous.”

Taehyung then sits on the couch and pulls you onto his lap. “Let’s do this slowly then.” Just as his words leave his lips, his pink lips attach to yours again. This kiss feels more passionate but slow. He strokes your thigh in a circular motion and moves to cup your asses. He kneads the cheeks in motion while his tongue dances with yours. He bites your lower lip a little and makes you moan.

His hand moves slowly to touch your skin under your hoodie. His fingers cold, causing goosebumps to spread up your spine. The way he soothes your back makes your body melt and you feel your core is dripping. You subconsciously roll your wet core to his. You can feel his hardness poking again, and it makes you squirm.

Taehyung removes his lips from yours and moves to your bare neck. Licking your neck slowly, you tremble against his touch. You thank God silently, you took a proper bath before. He kisses your neck and then starts sucking lightly, leaving blooming marks on your neck. You don’t care if your neck is full of his marks. The only thing you think about is just him, touching you.

He then pulls your hoodie up and tosses it to the floor, revealing you in your pink bra. His hands then move to your back, unclasping your bra, letting it fall to the floor. He squeezes your breasts while his lips trail across your chest, littering it with marks. Your breath hitches as he sucks a nipple into his mouth, lavishing it slowly, alternating between licks and nips. He can feel you tremble with each flick of his tongue, knowing that it’s driving you crazy.

His fingers then move to your jeans, making quick work of the buttons. He sneaks his hand into your underwear, his cold fingers brushing against your heat, eliciting a moan to slip from your lips.

“Fuck. You’re dripping already, baby.” He touches your core slowly, making you squirm in the process. Your moans are like a drug to him and when he feels how sensitive you are for him when he nudges your clit, he thinks he is the luckiest man in the world. “These pants have got to go.”

He stands you up and pulls your jeans down with your underwear, leaving you fully naked in front of him. Suddenly a rush of embarrassment fills you, subconsciously you use your hand to cover your breasts and your core.

He then pulls you back to his lap. “You are beautiful.” He kisses your wrist and your inner arm while keeping his eye contacts on you. “I am so lucky.”

Taehyung then slips his finger again to your core. He is running to your slit and then circling your clit. He pinches it slightly, which makes you jolt. “Tae...” he then gathers your wetness with his fingers and pushes his finger into your core. The sensation of his finger inside you is enough to make you cry, and moaning his name.

“Oh my God, you are so tight.” He thrusts his finger into you in motion and he uses his thumb to circling your clit. You almost fall from the lack of support, so you put your arms across his neck and put your forehead on his shoulder. “I need to stretch you out first, muffin.”

He kisses your neck and your shoulder, enjoying how you squirm against him. He can feel how your walls clench around his fingers, watch as your toes begin to curl, your breathing becoming uneven. He knows you are close.

“Taehyung, I am gonna..” you barely can talk, bothered by a rush of pleasure forming inside you.

“Let it go, baby. Let me hear you.” His pace quickens as he plays with your clit and finally it comes. Your vision goes black as you arch your back in delight.

You stay in his embrace and control your breathing. His fingers have already moved from your core to his lips as he licks your arousal from his fingers. “You taste incredible.” Taehyung moves his hands to your back to support your limp and shaking body. You have finally gathered your senses after your orgasm. You kiss his lips slowly and then lower yourself to your knees, positioning yourself between his muscular thighs.

You impatiently unbutton his pants and palm his hardened cock through the clothing. As you stroke slowly, he hisses. He feels hot under your touch and your mouth starts to water. You then pull his cock free, wrapping your hand around his length. As you start to slowly stroke him, you can’t help but to lean forward and lick the precum from his tip. His cock twitching at the sensation.

You work his cock slowly, licking it base to tip, before taking him into your mouth. You glance up to find his head falling back against the coach as he moans your name. You feel his tip hit the back of your throat. Taking a deep breath through your nose, you begin bobbing up and down his length. You hollow your cheeks suddenly and it makes Taehyung move his hand to hold your hair and move his cock deeper to your throat until you choke. You can feel your eyes begin watering, but the thing is, you feel satisfied.

You like how he sounds under your touch. You feel powerful. And when you swallow, you know he barely holds his load. You feel as his cock begins to pulsate and he pulls his cock from your mouth with a sudden motion. Taehyung looks at your fucked up face, your swollen lips, and your flushed face. “Not yet.” Taehyung then swipes the saliva from your lips and pulls you up. He kisses you slowly enjoying the taste of himself on your lips.

He then drags you to your messy bed and slowly pushes your back onto the bed. He takes his shirt off his head and pulls his pants down, kicking it in the process, which makes you giggle. Now naked, you take the opportunity to take in his toned body, golden skin. You can’t help but think that he’s a piece of art.

Taehyung then lowers his body to kiss you. His lips trail again from your lips, your cheeks, your neck, your chest, every inch of skin he can get his lips on. “So pretty.” His lips then slowly move downwards, and finally, he places his head in between your thighs. He kisses your inner thigh softly, marking it with the color of the galaxy. His lips then attached to your hardened bud. He nibbles your clit slowly and lavishes it with his tongue. You can feel another coil of desire begin to form.

He swipes his hot tongue to your slit, devouring your core like a man starved. Your body trembles with the over-sensitivity after your first orgasm. And when he thrusts his tongue to your core, you almost lose it. “Tae, I can’t...”

“You can do it, baby. Come for me.” He licks your sweet arousal carefully, making you moan his name. “Fuck, you taste so good.” He then flicks his tongue on your clit and that’s it. You feel your coil snap as your head falls back and your vision blurs. He licks and kisses your core to collect your arousal as you grind to his face to ride your orgasm.

“Taehyung, I want you.”

He chuckles. He then takes a wrapper from his pants and rips it carefully. He then rolls it on his cock. He gathers your wetness and then aligns his tip in front of your entrance. “Are you sure?” You nod weakly.

“I need you to say it, muffin.”

“I-I am sure. Please, I need you now.” You beg quietly.

You take a deep breath as he pushes himself slowly to you. You whimper at the painful stretch. “You are so tight. Am I hurting you?”

You shake your head weakly. “I just need time.” He leans in to kiss your lips, with his cock still buried inside you. You can taste yourself and his saltiness in your mouth. and it is intoxicating. You feel completed. You have never felt this full before. You miss this. He kisses you passionately, you can feel how his emotions played him. You can feel his desperation and loneliness in his touches.

The pain has subdued and you experimentally clench your walls. Taehyung hisses and grips your thighs painfully. “Stop it, or I am not going to last.” He begins to pump himself into you rhythmically. Hitting the spot when you can see stars. The only thing you can feel now is a pleasure and how he somehow completes you. You know that he feels it too, and you hope this pleasure can help him to forget. He pulls your thighs upwards and holds your ass.

His thrusts become sloppy as his cock begins pulsing. His orgasm is approaching, you can feel it. You can feel the knot forming too and your walls throb, you are on the verge of cumming again. Taehyung then moves one of his hands to your clit, rubbing it quickly. And once again your orgasm snaps. with you triggering Taehyung’s release, your walls milking him for everything he’s worth. Taehyung follows you afterward. He then falls on you trying to catch his breath.

You feel how Taehyung is softening inside and he pulls out of you, which makes you whine because of the sudden emptiness. He removes the condom filled with his seed and ties it into a knot and throws it on the trash can. He let his body fall on your side.

You look at his tired face, his forehead beaded with sweat, and how his lips are opened slightly, gasping for breaths. His eyes glistening with tears, filled with his emotion. You then gather your courage to cup his cheek, smoothing the skin. “Are you alright now? How do you feel?”

He looks at you softly. Your heart aches. He then swipes your fallen tears on your cheek with his thumb. “How do you feel?” He whispers. His hand stays on your face, giving you the warmth that you’ve always wanted.

There is only silence formed between you two. As you two are facing each other, you both still can see the pain inside your eyes. You both are fully naked, but you feel more exposed than before. You feel vulnerable and weak. And the longer you look into each other’s eyes, you both know that you two will be alright. You have to be alright.

Taglist: @gee-nee

Taglist still open!

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btsslowburnfic · 4 years ago

Text

BTBY Ch. 18

Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

AN: Sorry the taglist hasn’t been working. I’ve started tagging my local to check -_- Let’s get these two back together, what do y’all say?? Previous chapter here --------------

Time passed on with you living on Joe and Xavier’s couch. You had gotten into the habit of texting Namjoon on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes about important stuff, but mostly, and surprisingly it was about dumb shit. He would send you photos from the cities where they were touring or of food. It was finally your turn to return the favor.

Joe and Xavier got married a few months after you moved in. Joe was offered a position with a Broadcasting company in New York City that was too good to pass up, and so the three of you all packed up and began the long drive to your new two bedroom apartment in New Jersey.

NJ: What exactly am I looking at here?

Y/N: The World’s Largest Mailbox.

NJ:.........

Y/N: And here is the World’s Largest rocking chair.

NJ: Why am I looking at these things?

Y/N: Haha, haven’t you ever been on a road trip? We’re stopping to see weird things along the way.

NJ: No. I haven’t. My family always vacationed in the same places growing up and management shuttles us around.

Y/N: ha! Well next time you come to the USA I am sneaking you out for a road trip.

NJ: You’ll have to do all the driving sweetheart, I don’t have a license.

Y/N: Waaaat?! Really? Fine. You can be in charge of navigating.

NJ: That is also a bad idea but I admire your excitement. G2g, interviews. So. Many. Interviews.

You smiled and put the phone back into your purse. You had saved a table for the three of you in the diner next to the World's Largest wind chime.

“More coffee, honey?” The waitress asked, holding the regular and decaf pots as she made the rounds.

“Yes please. And 2 more menus. My friends are walking over now.”

“Sure thing.”

You put your hands around the cup, enjoying the feeling of warmth spreading through your fingers. It was early in the morning and you were trying to give them some private time in the hotel room so you had left early to do sightseeing in the small town of Casey, Illinois. It had not disappointed with it’s array of random big shit.

You heard the bell ding and saw the two men enter, looking sleepy but happy. You didn’t need to wave seeing as there were only ten tables in the whole place, but you did so anyways out of habit.

They sat across from you, as the server walked over and handed them some menus. “Good morning fellas. What can I get you to drink?”

“Coffee.” They responded in unison and then laughed.

“You got it.” She walked away from the table.

“Did you guys check out the windchime?” You asked.

Xavier squinted at you, “Darling, you are way too happy for this early in the morning. No. I have not looked at a windchime.”

Joe put his arm around his husband’s shoulder. “I’m sure we’ll look after we have breakfast though. Why are you in such a great mood this early?”

“No reason. I guess I just think the town is cute and weird.” Your phone pinged.

“You’ve been talking to your boyfriend-not boyfriend.” Xavier said.

You rolled your eyes at first but then a smile crept across your face, “Well I guess I was excited to finally have some pictures worth sharing. He always sends pictures from everywhere that look super cool. And I never have anything other than coffee and LA traffic. Which he has already seen. So unimpressive.”

The waitress dropped the coffee off at the table and then took the food order. You took your phone out and snuck a peek while Xavier and Joe were discussing the merits of turkey sausage versus regular.

NJ: You should come see me sometime.

Your eyes grew wide and you threw your phone back in your purse as though it was made of poison. That was a sudden shift in conversation.

“What the hell?” Xavier laughed.

Your eyes remained wide as you looked at both of them. You had imagined visiting him, but to you it was just a pipe dream. Your texts were never romantic in nature or anything. The two of you never mentioned the soulmark or the nights you had spent together or anything, You bit your lip nervously. “He asked me to come visit him. After we get all settled in New York.”

“Fucking go. Book that flight now.” Xavier exclaimed loudly, drawing a few looks from some of the older locals.

You laughed nervously. “Why so we can awkwardly hang out, have sex, and then never speak of it again? I’ve already done that twice.”

“Yes. That is a great reason to go.” Joe deadpanned. “Absolutely. Go get that soulmate dick. Oh also, because you like him and you would get to see a different part of the world. And you’re between jobs right now. I can’t think of a reason not to go.”

You took a sip of your coffee. “I’ll think about it.”

-------------

“Has anyone seen my phone?” Namjoon asked. The other guys had been in the break room for a while, but as the leader he had a few more duties he needed to tend to before he could be done for the evening. The interviews had finally wrapped up for the day. They had done 6 online ones back to back. 3 in English and 3 in Korean. He was exhausted from translating and answering questions. The guys were always extra chaotic during the English interviews.

“I think it’s over on the table.” Hoseok replied, sending some messages on his own phone.

Jimin got up quickly, pulling V along with him,“ we ordered food. See you guys later.” They left the room.

Yoongi was sitting at the table texting as well, “I’m hungry too. Why didn’t they invite me?” He pouted.

Namjoon picked up the phone to see if you had sent him any more weird pictures. He felt bad sending you pictures all the time from all over the world. He felt like a spoiled brat. He knew they had worked hard to get to where they were, but the fame and success and everything that came along with it still felt so foreign to him. He unlocked the phone and checked the messages.

“What the fuck?” He looked up from his phone. “Jimin! Taehyung!” He yelled. Of course it was pointless. ”Yoongi? Can you unsend a message once it’s sent?”

Yoongi blinked slowly, he was also tired and confused by Namjoon’s sudden yelling. “Why are you asking me? I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“What did they do?” Jungkook, who had been quietly sitting on the couch next to Jin asked, his big doe eyes full of concern.

Namjoon scrunched up his face and wiped it with his hand, pausing to pinch the bridge of his nose. “They texted Y/N and told her I wanted her to visit.”

Jin let out a surprised laugh, “Oh my God.”

*Jungshook*

“Well you want to see her don’t you?” Yoongi said calmly

“I mean I do but she doesn’t want to see me. Remember? She left.” He replied. He was going to kill them. Maybe the IT staff at BigHit could help him. He grabbed his coat, determined to find out.

“She left in the middle of the night because it’s hard to say goodbye. You’re the one who left the country.” Yoongi said, putting his phone down.

Namjoon looked over, sighing. His phone pinged.

Y/N: Maybe ^_^ I don’t start work for a little bit after we get moved in. Let me know your schedule! I got my passport renewed.

Namjoon stood there opening and shutting his mouth a few times.

The room stayed quiet for several seconds.

“Did she answer you?” Jungkook tentatively asked.

Namjoon slipped his phone into his pocket and ran a hand through his hair. “She did. She wants to know my schedule.”

Yoongi got up. “Great. Jimin and Tae can live. I’m going to go join them for food.” NEXT CHAPTER @calling-dips-on-j-hope @ghostkat23 @cuteipat @marianeamine @thisisval @almonte12 @themisunderstoodblackswan @bobbyboops @betysotelo18 @katerbees

#bts fic #bts writing #bts scenarios #bts rm fanfic #bts namjoon x reader #bts rm x reader #bts rm x you #bts rm scenario #namjoon scenarios #namjoon imagine #namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x you #bts namjoon #rm x reader #rm x y/n

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trashscenariihxh · 4 years ago

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Pariston x Reader x Wing part 4

Enjoy~

If Pariston had taken offense to your sleeping on the sofa, he didn’t let on about it. He greeted you in the morning cheerfully as he drank his coffee. “You look tired,” he observed, setting his mug in the sink.

“I’m not, “ you lied, filling the kettle with water and turning it on.

“Well, tired or not, you certainly look it.” He smiled unctuously at you as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Suddenly he furrowed his brow and tutted at you, grabbing your chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilting your face to the side. “Oh, ____, you have more lines around your eyes. Whatever shall we do about those, hm?” His face relaxed back into a smile. “Ah, nevermind. I’ll go ahead and make you an appointment with Dr. Komacine. She’s very good. She’ll get you sorted out.”

“But I don’t--”

He waved a dismissive hand. “Now Darling I don’t want to hear it. I am, after all, doing you a favor.” He furrowed his brow again. “A very big favor.” He stroked your cheek with his thumb. “Have a wonderful day, Darling.” He withdrew his hand and gave your cheek a closed-lipped kiss. As he turned to leave, he added “I hope you aren’t intending to stay in your nightgown all day.” With those words, he strode out of the kitchen, put on his jacket, and left.

You stood, blankly watching after him, only dimly aware of the kettle boiling. By the time you jerked yourself out of your stupor, it had nearly boiled dry.

***

The hours between when Pariston left for work and when he got home always seemed to stretch to impossible lengths. After you’d washed, gotten dressed, done your makeup and hair, there wasn’t much to do, except occasionally clean something that the cleaning staff missed, which didn’t happen very often. Sometimes you managed to read for a bit, but the knowledge that Pariston would eventually come home drew your mind away from the pages. As the seconds ticked by, you always wondered if you’d done enough. Was the house clean enough? Did you cook well enough? Were you pretty enough? Pariston’s standards seemed to change with the winds, so you never actually knew.

You made yourself another cup of tea and sat on the sofa to do what you did every day: wait for Pariston’s return. Once again, you found yourself longing for someone, anyone, to talk to. Hell, you’d even welcome it if some Jehovah’s witnesses came to your door. You thought back to the day before, when you’d run into Wing at the cafe. It had been nice, talking to someone again. You looked at your phone. You could message him, see what he’s up to. You could even arrange to meet for more coffee.

You bit your lip. Would it be weird to message him this soon? It might be. You stared at your phone, considering what to do. Wing was your only friend-- acquaintance-- at this point in time and you really didn’t want to scare him away by being too needy. Chewing your lip, you decided against sending him a message, deciding you’d wait a couple days. Maybe a week. Yes, you decided, you’d wait a week before sending any messages to him. You’d just get coffee by yourself in the meantime.

***

You lasted three days. You were sitting on the sofa again when the urge to talk to somebody came over you, and you grabbed your phone and sent the message before you could stop yourself.

“Hi. It was great chatting the other day. Would love to meet up again some time.”

You waited, wondering if you’d made a grave error. Was the message too long? Too formal? You stared at the phone screen, wishing you could unsend the text.

***

It took four hours for Wing to reply. His reply was short and simple:

“Me too.”

Me too? Me too what? Had he had a good time, or did he want to meet up again? Both? You hoped it was both. Spurred on by a desire to figure out which, you replied:

“Would you like to meet again? Coffee?”

You paused before sending the text, wondering if you were being too forward. If Pariston saw… You clenched your jaw in determination. If Pariston saw, it wouldn’t matter. You’d tell him the truth: that you were meeting an old friend for coffee. You hit send.

Wing only took a minute or two to respond:

“Sure :)”

You couldn’t help smiling to yourself. After years of isolation, you were finally making plans with someone. A friend at last. Not wanting to keep him waiting, you immediately responded.

“When are you free?” You were basically free whenever Pariston wasn’t at home, which was often; it would be better to adjust to Wing’s schedule.

“Weekends. Most late afternoons.”

You could do that. Not wanting to appear too eager, you suggested that you meet up next Thursday. Wing’s reply was almost immediate.

“Sounds good. See you then.”

***

You arrived at the same cafe you’d gone to before with a spring in your step. Not only because you were about to socialize for the first time in a week, but also because, in an act of subtle rebellion, you had decided to wear flats instead of the painful heels that Pariston always insisted you wear. Upon entering, you ordered an earl grey and scanned the room for free tables.

You spotted Wing sitting at a corner table with papers spread out before him. You hesitated to approach him for a moment, wondering whether he was too busy to actually meet somebody, but your fears were soon assuaged when he caught sight of you. Wing smiled and waved you over, shuffling the papers into a messy pile and shoving them into his briefcase.

“Busy?” You smiled, sitting down across from him and setting your drink on the table.

“Just marking exams,” he sighed. “I swear, some of the stuff my students write…”

“Tell me about it,” you laughed, rolling your eyes. “Back when I taught, my students often wrote the most ridiculous essays imaginable. I still remember one particularly bad paper about the Hanseatic League…” you shook your head.

“I bet you’re happy to have all that behind you.” He smiled warmly at you, genuinely pleased at your apparent good fortune.

“Yeah,” you answered, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I’m happy I don’t have to deal with any of that now!” As you spoke, you felt a tug in your chest. It had been a lie; sometimes, when you were lying in bed alone, you thought about how you’d give anything to have your old job back. Your old job, your friends. Your freedom. It all seemed so distant now.

You sipped your tea, content to listen to Wing’s stories about his students. You noticed that even though he apparently held his students to very high standards, he was still full of praise for them all. You wondered what it would be like to have even an ounce of his patience.

“So do you not work, then?” Wing asked, picking up his mug.

You shook your head, suddenly embarrassed. “No. No, I don’t.”

“And your husband? What does he do?” He didn’t have to say it, but you could guess what Wing was thinking.

How much does he earn to support a leech like you?

“My husband? He’s a lawyer.”

Wing nodded. “That’s a demanding job.”

“Yeah. He’s often stressed out,” you lied again. Pariston never seemed remotely stressed out, no matter how long he stayed at the office.

“I’m really glad we could meet up again,” you blurted out suddenly. When Wing looked surprised at the rapid change of subject, you quickly added that you spent most days at home alone, seeing as how Pariston was so busy.

“That must be difficult,” Wing nodded in understanding. “Do you not get out much at all?”

“Nah.” You shook your head. “To be honest, it gets pretty lonely.”

“I can imagine.”

“Hey,” you set down your now-empty mug, “would you mind if we did this again? More often, maybe?”

#wing hxh #pariston hill #tw abusive relationships

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bibbawrites · 4 years ago

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i started to write this and then owen and charlie decided to beef on live so 🤦🏼‍♀️

anyways anyone wanna help me try to get a birthday video from charlie lol ? obviously you don’t have to but yeah thought i’d ask just in case anyone was willing :)

someone who got one said that she got hers by messaging each day and unsending the previous message lol so that’s what i’m trying

idk how but if anyone’s down to help, my birthday is the 17th of march (st patricks day!), i’m turning 22, my instagram is @bibbasworld and my real name is libs ✌🏻

now y’all know my real name and instagram and shit oop 👀 hope no one i know finds me now 😬😂

i would really appreciate the help if anyone is willing to help me out by maybe sending him a message ? idk lol i don’t want to annoy him

OH and please don’t mention this tumblr if you do message him lol i would be mortified if he found out about it hahahahah 😳

anyways i’m gonna attempt to sleep cause it’s 6am whoops

also feel free to request to follow me and just send me an ask or message with your username so i know that it’s one of y’all trying to follow me and not some rando haha

this whole post makes no sense i’m exhausted lol sorry

bye pals, if chowen do anything else dumb let me know !

love you all 💕

#jatpsmut talks #charlie #birthday video

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imgoingtohellsofuckit · 5 years ago

Text

Cocky Hero pt 4

Hawks x Reader

Warnings - nothing

Summary - The game seems to be going strong

Waking up in the guest bedroom alone was a surprise. You thought somehow Hawks would find himself in the room. But the fact you were waking up about three hours late for work was even more than a surprise. The second your sleepy eyes hit the clock on the wall you jumped from the soft bed and ran out to pull on your dress from last night. You don't have time to change to go home.

"Woah what's got you running around?" Hawks asks as you march into his living room to grab your heels.

"I'm late! Really late," You panic, "I could get fired! I could lose my job and my house!" You can feel you heart racing in fear. "Listen I have to go it's been fun but-"

"It's 8 am," He says, "you never leave before 8."

You look down at your phone to confirm it. Then you sigh loudly in relief.

"Oh my god I almost had a heart attack," You say to him, "the clock in your quest bedroom is wrong. Wow that's one way to wake up." You adjust your purse on your shoulder and look to him and smile lightly. He chuckles lightly. "I should get home tho. I need to get ready."

"Alright," He says.

"Your clothes are in the hamper in your hallway," You tell him, "last night was fun. Thanks for letting me vent to you. And then ask you personal questions."

"I'd never stop people from asking questions," He says.

"Well thanks for answering them," You tell him.

"How do you know if I answered them honestly?" He asks.

"I don't know for sure," You say, "but you just seemed real last night. Like finally I was seeing the tiniest smidge of the guy behind the title." You smile lightly. "Now at the risk of inflating your ego... I think we should hang out like friends more. Even after our game finishes. I like talking to you."

"Yeah I could get behind that," He says, "I like talking to you too."

You chuckle.

"I should get going," You tell him, "see ya around Hawks."

"See ya Y/n."

As you step through the portal into your house you can't help but smile.

You had actual fun last night. With Hawks. And you didn't mess around with him you just hung out. It's kinda crazy but then again he's a good guy. Even if he is a bit in love with himself. You could see yourself being friends with him.

After your shower and getting ready routine you arrive at your office. The first day in a bit where no one is there to harass you. Everyone already is at work. You start to wonder if somehow you actually were late. Or if this was some alternative dimension were you didn't have to lecture the heroes you work for to do what they are supposed to do. Regardless you just sit at your desk and start on your work. You smile lightly as you look over to see the flowers Hawks sent you the other day.

"He's so stupid," You say softly.

"Who is?"

You look back to see Mimic.

"You've been avoiding me," You say glaring lightly at the hero, "why?"

"I was waiting out your wrath," He says, "I thought you'd be more upset about the file but it seems like for once you're okay with me making a mistake."

"I'm distracted," You admit, "don't get used to it."

"I won't," He says, "but I will take advantage of you directing your focus off of me for a bit... So flowers? They are pretty but I never pegged you for the type to get flowers for yourself-"

"Someone gave them to me," You tell him, "Mimic don't you have patrols to do? I seemed to remember you have a morning patrol on the schedule today."

"Right I better get on that," He says, "good luck with your boyfriend Hawks."

You scoff knowing that Kami must be starting something around the office. You roll your eyes before burying yourself back into your work. You should text Hawks. Keep up with the game. So you move lifting your phone up to take a quick selfie. You look at it before you send it. Checking to see if it turned out good. It did. You look hot. So you press send and sit down the phone again.

Hawks was in a meeting with the commission when his phone buzzes against his leg. He sneaks a glance to see who sent it. He sees that its you and smiles lightly. He pulls the phone up and clicks the message to see a picture of you. You look beautiful. Soft skin, gentle features. You hair fixed like it always is. He sees that slightly unbuttoned shirt. The top of your breast exposed. He bites his lip lightly.

"Wow," He says softly.

"What?"

"Nothing," Hawks says shutting his phone off, "sorry what were we talking about."

They continue the meeting. But the second it ends Hawks texts you.

Hawks - You almost got me in trouble :l

Very rude

Y/n - It's a pg pic you pig

Hawks - lol not that

I was in a meeting

Y/n - Am I supposed to say sorry?

I didn't make you check your phone during a meeting

Hawks - :(

ur mean sometimes

Y/n - Sorry

Let me make it up to you

His phone buzzes. The next message isn't a message but a picture. He sees that you have your shirt unbuttoned more revealing your bra. He bites his lip lightly. Wow. You're really trying to rile him up today.

Hawks - Aren't you at work?

Y/n - I stepped off the floor for you

I can unsend it

Hawks - No no

ur good

send more

Y/n - I don't think I will

Hawks - Oh man

:(((

Y/n - Sorry bird boy

Maybe if you ask nicely I'll reconsider

Hawks - Pretty please beautiful

You chuckle lightly. Who would of thought you'd be locking yourself in the bathroom on your lunch break to send Hawk a sneaky pic. Then again you didn't think he'd last this long either. You fix your clothes then look back to the picture. Just your reflection standing in your undergarments. Your finger hovers over to send button. Was this a good idea? I mean if it gets out you could get in trouble for doing this at work. You decide to shove your logic aside and just send it.

Y/n - There~

Hawks opens the pic and groans lightly.

"Fuck," He says softly. You're so perfect. So amazing. A girl like this shouldn't exist. But here she is.

Hawks - You're killing me here

How am I gonna fill out reports now?

Y/n - That's a real shame Hawks

My lunch is in five

Maybe you should stop by

You didn't need to say more. He was already out the door flying towards Impressions building. By the time he got there you were waiting outside for him. The second he stepped towards you, you opened a portal yanking him through it. You both were in your house. You move yanking him back to your room. Pushing him against the bed.

"Oh man you are so hot," He says softly.

You toss aside your shirt and then step out of your skirt.

"I have an hour for lunch," You say, "so you better make this time worth it."

"Oh trust me I will," He says.

~~~

Once you are both cleaned up and dressed his eyes don't leave your frame.

"What?" You ask him.

"This game is fun," He says, "but what happens after?"

"That depends," You tell him, "I mean if you want we can still be friends. Or we can pretend all this didn't happen and go back to our lives. It's up to you."

"There is really an option where we forget about all this?" He asks. You chuckle lightly.

"Well I mean it's not like any of this means anything," You tell him, "the sex, the flirting, the flowers. It's all for the game... Don't get me wrong I'm having fun but it's temporary. One of us will win and then we'll go to do it all again with another poor soul."

"Right yeah of course," He says, "it's just a game."

You smile lightly at him. Then turn back to your mirror as you brush through your hair.

"I have to get back to work," You tell him, "you think you can head out on your own?"

"Yeah sure," He says.

So you leave through one of your portals. Leaving him sitting on your bed. He sighs deciding to move to look in the mirror. Sighing loudly at his reflection.

"What the hell am I doing?" He asks himself, "why am I doing this?" He groans running his hand through his blond hair. His mind is telling him how this game is a bad idea. How for once he might be in danger here. And even if he isn't he doesn't know if he could hurt you. And that whole just forgetting all this and moving on. "I'm thinking too much." He decides to let it go for now. Opting to just let his thoughts melt as he leaves your apartment to head back to work.

"So where did you go for lunch?" Kami asks you.

"My place," You tell her, "I needed to get something so I just ate there."

"Yeah?" She asks, "you didn't meet Hawks?"

"And what if I did?" You ask, "my lunch hour is my hour. I'm allowed to do whatever I want- in legal grounds at least."

"You and Hawks are running around a lot," Kami says, "are you sure this is just for the game?"

"Yeah its just the game," You tell her, "I mean it's a new level. A harder level. Ya know."

"Level?"

"Yeah I mean Hawks isn't some random guy who gets attached too fast he's a player," You explain, "So it's harder than Edgeshot or the interns. It's almost a whole new game. So it takes a bit more work then the other guys."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Kami asks, "you're talking about him falling in love with you like he's a toy. That's kinda sick."

"He's doing the same thing to me," You point out, "it's consensual. Okay so don't flip out about it. You'll make it into something it's not."

"I guess I just don't get it," Kami says, "I mean if he's the great guy you keep talking about then why play around?"

"What are you suggesting?" You ask her.

"That you and Hawks date," She says plainly. You laugh harshly.

"Yeah uh not gonna happen," You tell her, "not only do I not wanna date I also don't wanna date Hawks. Like ever. Sure he's cute but he's a hot mess and honestly he and I would never work long term like that. Neither of us take anything seriously and well I'd get bored."

"I can't believe you," Kami says, "he's a pro. He's number 2. He's a huge deal and you're just gonna let that slip by?"

"You're making it seem like just because he's a big hero that he meets my standards," You say getting slightly aggravated with her, "I mean again he's nice and he's cute. But he's not my type and I don't like him like that."

"Like what?"

"Like a boyfriend or any thing more than a hookup," You tell her.

"Then how do you like him?"

"Like a hookup or a friend," You say at once, "Kami- I don't want to fight with you about this. I mean you are being ridiculous. Honestly if you want Hawks so bad- take him. I mean it's not like I really care. I just want to win my game."

"Okay so if I went to sleep with Hawks you wouldn't mind?" She asks you at once.

"No I wouldn't care at all," You say, "because he's just a guy I'm sleeping with."

"Then you wouldn't mind giving me his number," She says, "come on he's just a hookup."

"Fine," You say grabbing your phone. You share Hawks contact with her. "Now stop acting so weird and let me get back to work."

"Fine," She says. She moves off to her desk while you just sit down at yours. That was weird. I mean why would you care what Hawks is doing? If he hooks up with someone else fine. If he doesn't. Neat. It's not like you guys are dating. And you only like him as a friend. She's being weird. But thats just like Kami. Thinking she has everything figured out when in reality she knows nothing.

Unknown- Hey Hawks! This is Kami

I work with Y/n

I just wanted to say that you are super cute and we should hang out sometime

Hawks - read

"She gave out my number?" Hawks asks softly, "and to another girl." He doesn't know why that disappoints him so much. Normally he'd be overjoyed. He'd have another girl to hookup with until he got bored. Play his game. Mess with the girls head. But now? He just frankly wants to focus on winning this game with you. He doesn't reply. Instead he just texts you.

Hawks - Me, you, dinner

Y/n - in public?

Hawks - Private table

Y/n - mm

where?

Hawks - That fancy place by yours

Y/n - Are you trying to take me on a date?

Hawks- New approach.

I've learned sleeping with you won't make you fall in love with me

soooo new approach I use my charm

Y/n - ew

Hawks- Did you just say ew to going on a date with me?

What are you 10?

Do you know how many girls would kill to go on a date with me?

Y/n - ask one of them

Hawks - :((((

u make me sad sometimes

ur breaking my heart

How am I supposed to win the game like this

Y/n - are you paying?

Hawks - Of course

Y/n - I'll check my calendar

Hawks - You're not free tonight?

Y/n - No Hawks I'm not

I have a thing

Hawks- What thing??

Y/n - I'm not telling you

Hawks - come on I won't tease

maybe

okay I won't

so spill

Y/n - I have a class

Hawks - what kinda class?

Y/n - Cooking class

Hawks - lol you take a cooking class

Y/n - -_-

"I won't tease" He says

Hawks - sorry its just kinda random

Y/n - well I mean i need to know how to cook to live

plus ya know there is a cute boy in my cooking class

Hawks - :(((

I'm a cute boy you could be hanging out with

Y/n - meh

Hawks - T-T

ur mean

Y/N - : I

Hawks - can I crash your cooking class?

Y/n - stop being so needy

you have a night away from me

maybe use it to fix ur strategy

Hawks - well then can we go to dinner tomorrow?

Y/n - On a friday night?

mmmm

I don't know that's a prime day

Hawks - come onnnnnnn

Y/n - mkay

but i'm getting the most expensive thing on the menu

Hawks - why of course

hows 8 sound

Y/n - works for me

I have to get back to work

Hawks - oh man

don't leave me

Y/n - sorry hot stuff

You put the phone away and move to get back to work. Sighing lightly at the amounts of work that you have to do. Going from talking to one of the most interesting people you've ever known to a bunch of boring work is a hard switch. You keep your focus on the work as best you can. By the time the shift ends you were you pretty much racing to get home.

Hawks- ur cute

Y/n - am I?

Hawks - Yeah

Y/n - thx i guess

Hawks - How is your class going?

Y/n - Haven't left yet

About to

Hawks - what cooking class is it?

maybe I can crash

it'll be fun

Y/n - you'll distract the class

if you come there everyone will talk about you

and well i want them to talk about me

Hawks - ....

fine

Y/n - I'll text you after

You move getting ready for you class. Swapping the work clothes for more casual clothes. Once you get ready you head over to the building for the class. I take my normal table.

"Hey," Haru says looking over at me, "hows your week been?"

"Eventful," You sigh lightly, "and it feels like it's getting longer. What about you?"

"Same - it's very long," He says, "but I'm getting through it. Renege is having a hard time at daycare."

Renege. It's his daughter. He's been raising her on her own since his ex passed away. Haru smiles lightly.

"She'd love to see you again."

If any guy has ever been close to the category of someone You'd be interested in. Haru has always been the closet. He's attractive, he's caring, he's nice to everyone. He's a perfect guy. And he has a super adorable daughter. The two of you clearly are at least attracted to each other. But something has always held you back. Maybe it's the responsibility of dating a single dad. Maybe it's that you aren't as interested in him as you thought.

"I've been busy," You tell him, "the agency and all. How is the office?"

"Well my boss is keeping me late," He says, "thankfully my mom is helping as much as she can. I saw the pictures of you at that Heros gala. You looked really nice."

"Thanks," You say, "the stylist the agency hired were really good. They made a whole thing more fun." He smiles.

"What are those fancy parties like?" He asks.

"I could show you next time," You say smiling light. The offer is empty but its not much of anything. He moves to his plate to start the recipe. He talks again about Renege. Sharing the stories that happened from the last time you saw him. Apparently she's been getting a little feisty with the other kids at day care. Haru says she gets it from her mother. You simply nod. Normally you'd hang onto every word of the story. You'd listen to him excitedly. Laughing lightly at the antics of his daughter.

But today. All you could think about us Hawks. You wonder if he has stories like Haru. Ones that are more domestic and less wild. Slow days. You wonder what Hawks does for fun when he isn't sleeping around. You never got a good look at his place. But from what you saw it was all bro pad.

"You seem distracted," Haru says, "is it cause you're in love with me."

"What?" I ask looking at him carefully.

"I said are you okay?" He asks.

That line was pure Hawks. God can't that bird brat get off your mind for five seconds. You sigh smiling over to Haru.

"Yeah I'm fine," You answer, "it's just work ya know."

"Yeah I get it," He says, "but you should be carefully chopping those vegetables when you're distracted."

"Right," You say carefully.

"Hey listen," He starts, "we should go on another date sometime."

"Yeah?" You ask.

"Yeah," He says, "it's been awhile and I get a break from work soon. I need to relax. I think dinner with you would be amazing."

"I mean- if you'd want to," You say to him, "what do you want to do for the date?"

"Dinner maybe Saturday?" He says.

"Yeah? Alright."

#hawks x reader #hawks bnha #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader #my hero academia

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