Knight Mandalorian X Prince Male Reader
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1/2
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Summary: Reader is a prince and soon to be future king but his father thinks that he should be arranged into marriage and have a bodyguard as they head to the next kingdom to meet his future wife, but what if the read falls in love with someone else? Perhaps a Mandalorian knight?
Warnings: Language, knights, kissing, making out, mentions of arranged marriages.
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Why was he here? He shouldn’t be here and he knows that, but he has a job to complete. A few days back the mandalorians had received a letter from the king of Snivo, asking for one of them to be sent to the kingdom and become the princes knight for a short period of time and that they would be paid well if they were to take the job. The king needed someone that knew how to fight back and weal a weapon, he just needed someone to protect the prince since he was being send off to another kingdom and forced into an arranged marriage and the king wants to make sure that his son arrives safety without problems.
So of course they had to Dyn Jarren, he declined the offer many times to his leader saying that he was already busy with just taking care of his own kid. Being a single father wasnt easy but the other mandalorians helped him out with the kid when he would be out on missions. Dyn tried to convince his leader to not make him go but nothing seemed to work. Now here he is, stuck in a kingdom with nothing but wealthy people that he sometimes loathed.
Dyn has never met the prince and really wishes that he doesn’t, he’s heard rumors that the prince was sometimes a spoiled brat and only cared about himself. If he was going out deal with someone like that for the next two weeks of traveling then he might as well and kill the prince himself and tell the king that they were raided by hunters and wasnt able to save the prince. But he already knows that he can’t do that, he has a code that he must go with so for now he must deal with the princes needs.
—
The mandalorian stands up straight, his head held up high. He stands next to the king as the two wait for the princes arrival. Dyn had tried too and many times to picture how the prince looked like, hearing all the rumors about him only gave him a bad image of how he would look like. The mando was lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear the sound of doors slamming open, “What the hell is this?!”
He turns his head towards the doors to see a young man, he expected to see him wear a crown and maybe a long cloak that covered up half of his body and a bratty attitude. Instead he got anyone man with short like dark hair, a sword by his side, and a pretty adorable glare that was plastered all over his face. He was dressed in normal civilian clothing and wore nothing fancy. The prince currently didn’t give off any prince vibes, he looked like one of the servants that worked in the kingdom.
“Father I’ve already said, I don’t want any part of this marriage and I currently don’t need a bodyguard.” The prince hissed out and points his blade that he had in his hand at the king. The king doesn’t flinch and only narrowed his eyes at his own son, using a finger to gently move the blade away from his face. “I arranged this for you and you will marry the princess of Druklok-“
“For what exactly!? We don’t have a quarrel with them and we currently don’t have a war coming up. I am being forced to marry a women that I don’t even know and wish to never know!” He exclaims to his father/ Looking away in anger as he crossed his arms and turns around to leave the great hall. “If you don’t do This then I won’t allow you to interact with the servants again and ban you from the village.”
The mandalorian noticed the prince freeze in place once his father mentioned the servants and the village that wasnt too far from Snivo. “You wouldn’t.” The princes fingers fidget to reach down for his own weapon again but was able to hold himself back. “You must do this, its for your own good.” The king says again, earning a scoff from the prince. “You don’t know what’s good for me, all you’ve done was use me for bets and wars, using me like a pawn to get away from your problems and now you think that getting married to some women that I don’t even know is good for me? Yo don’t know me.” With that the prince turns to leave the hall, slamming the doors behind him.
The mandalorian expected the king to do something harsh to his own son for disrespecting him but all he got was silence. He glanced over to the king and noticed how he slowly sighs and sits back down on his throne. “Please keep a close eye on the boy and make sure that he leaves tommorrow morning for Druklok and that he arrives their as well, don’t let him escape because believe me he will try.” He informs. The mando nods in response, “yes your highness.” He gave one last nod before leaving the great hall to search for the prince. He would walk around the halls and stop a few servants along the way to ask if they knew where the prince could be. He was able to get a few responses and they all said the same thing, the stables.
Mando finds his way around the kingdom until he finally arrives to the stables. He makes his way through the entrance and looks around for the prince. The place had a few horses and smaller animals, moving quietly he hears murmuring as he moved deeper into the stables.
“—Can you believe that old man?! Forcing me into marriage when I could be out their doing something else that could be useful for our kingdom!” The prince was cleaning one of the horses bin, stabbing the pitchfork into some dry grass and tossing it over a fence as he continued to grumble in anger to a horse. “He’s getting old anyways, soon hell die and the kingdom will be mine and ill fix it up! Ill make sure that the servants are treated with respect and should be sene as higher rankings and not lower. I’ll send carts full of supplies and food for the villagers since they seem to need the extra food more than us.” He continued one, not noticing that the mandalorian was listening to everything he was saying.
Dyn was a bit surpised by the princes conversation, like he said he expected the prince to be a spoiled brat and showing off his riches but he was the opposite. He sought the good in people and he didn’t care about rankings. He treated everyone with respect, now he knows why his own father threaten to keep him away from the servants. He must be really close to them, maybe closer than to his own father.
“You know I can see you bucket head.”
Dyn is pulled out of his thoughts, moving out of his hiding spot he leans agaisnt the wall of the stables. “Sorry your highness, didn’t mean to ease drop.”
“Drop the highness, hate it when others need to sound so formal towards me.” The prince quickly says, eyeing the mandalorian before he gets back to work. “Can’t believe my father hired a mandalorian, heard about your culture and people.” He grunts out, tossing some more dry grass into the bin. Setting down the pitchfork he approached his horse that was standing outside its bin and eating some apples that the prince had provided for it.
Dyn blinked in surprise, watching the prince work around the stables. “Is their a name that you prefer to be called?” He blurts out. The prince eyes glance over to the mandalorian before answering. “Y/n, just call me Y/n nothing else.” He pats the Horses side as he looks at the mandalorian up and down. “What about you?” He asks in return.
“Just mando.” Dyn says.
Y/n hums, “So bucket head then?”
Dyn’s going to kill him.
—
The two were able to get to know each other for the whole day before the next morning arrived, forcing y/n out of bed and into the outside world. Mounting his horse with a glare on his face, ignoring hsi fathers words as he simply wanted to get this over with. The mandalorian was used to waking up early since he had his own kid back at home who would wake him up with his crying needs. “Have everything?” The king asks his only son, who rolls his eyes. “Yes, father.” He turns to face the king, getting a look that the mandalorian knew too well. Y/n bites his lip in anger, “Yes, your highness.” He grumbled out through clenched teeth. Before his own father could continue on with talking the prince turns to see the gates opening, taking this as his chance to quickly escape.
Mando watched Y/n ride away without a second thought, the king did warn him about this and he did see it coming but he knows that he’ll catch up to the kid. The king sighs in defeat before waving a hand at the mandalorian, allowing him to go on after him. Dyn rides after Y/n, seeing the back of the princes black horse he catchs up in time to stop the prince. “you cant run away from this.” The mando says as he used his own horse to stop the other by standing in front of him.
Y/n pouts and looks away. “Worth a shot.”
Dyn can only shake his head before moving out of the way and allowing the prince to pass through. The first couple of hours were filled with silence, the only thing heard was the sound of hooves stomping against the muddy trails and the rustling of trees. “Do you ever take it off?” The mandalorian turns to his right to see the prince titling his head to the side as he asks his question. “He speaks.”
Y/n pouts again. “You didn’t answer my question; do you ever take off that helmet?” He asks again. The mandalorian looks ahead, “I do.” The princes brows rose in surpise, “Okay...what about in front of someone else?”
“I haven’t shown anyone my face since I was a kid, the only one who’s seen my face would probably be my own kid but he’s still young so he won’t remember my face once he gets older.” Dyn explains to the other, the two riding down the path that lead them to the other kingdom. Y/n’s atttention was focused on the mandalorian as he spoke, once he brought up his own kid he bites his lip. “Didn’t know that you had kids, let alone be married.”
“I’m not married and the kid isn’t my blood either I took him in.” The mando corrects the prince, noticing from the corner of his eye the princes mouth formed a small ‘o’ in surprise. “Wow, single father who’s suddenly being forced to take care of useless prince who is also being forced into a marriage that they don’t want. You’re just wasting your time.” Said y/n, letting a sigh escape his lips.
The mandalorian was a little curious as too why the prince didn’t want to get married, he knows that their wasn’t a specific reason from the king since he was just forced to do it but he wanted to know about the princes reasons. He adjusts himself on the horse and clears his throat. “Since I told you something about myself why don’t you answer my question,” Y/n perks up and smiles. “Shoot.” He simply responds.
“Why don’t you want to get married?”
Y/n groans. “You heard my father say why.”
“No,” he shake his head. “Why you don’t want too...”
The princes hands tighten around the reigns of the horse, looking anywhere else to avoid the mandalorian stare. His throat tightens as he thinks of his own reasons, he remembers his own mother telling him that he was allowed to love whoever he wanted before she passed away.
“Y/n promise me that you wont allow anyone or anything stop you from loving whoever you want.”
“I promise, mama...”
Y/n can still remember that night, the promise that he made for his own mother before she passed away. She wanted him to be happy and now that she’s gone his own father was taking that freedom away from him. He blinks away tears and sniffs, “I don’t want to get married because I still have a lot to learn...I want to be normal and not be forced to be someone I’m not...” his voice grows soft as he spoke. “Also she’s a women.” He added quietly, his face slowly turning a dark shade of red.
The mandalorian was confused for a few seconds before it finally made since, his eyes widening. “You mean—“
“Yes.”
The prince cuts in, biting his lip. “Thats why I dont want this marriage and you probably think I’m weird now.” He adds, nudging his horse to walk a little faster this time to avoid the mandalorian judgment.
Dyn does the same, riding next to Y/n’s side to answer him. “I’m not one to judge so I don’t think your strange, your normal like everyone else. My people, the mandalorians are all different as well.” He says trying to cheer up the prince, which did work a little since he noticed a small smile creep up on the princes face. Dyn couldn’t help but smile under his helmet.
—
The two were able to find a perfect spot to set up camp for the night, dyn was making sure that the horses were tied up well on the tree while Y/n was staring a fire and making them some food.
“A prince who can cook, that’s not something you see everyday.”
Y/n laughs at the mandalorians teasign tone, “I learned from a young age, actually learned from watching the cooks back at the kingdom.” He pours some soup into a bowl for the mando, handing him the bowl before he goes back to serving himself. Dyn hums. “You’re talented, learning from watching.”
“Yeah but that depends if you like the way I cook.” He shot back with a grin on his face, leaning back on a tree trunk. Eating his own soup. The mandalorian sets the bowl aside, not quiet hungry yet. “Tell me more about your kid.” Said Y/n, setting down his bowl onto the ground and crossed legs.
Dyn chuckled softly at the prince, he was thinking back to the first time that he found the kid. He had a bounty on his head and yet somehow he had the audacity to take the mission. Hunting down the poor kid who did nothing wrong to anyone. They only wanted him because he was special and once his eyes landed on the kid he just couldn’t turn him in.
“The kid is special too me, he keeps me sane and reminds me of who I am. He can be a bit of a trouble maker.” Dyn was suddenly telling the prince his life story. “Poor kid had a bounty on his head, took him in once I found him...couldn’t complete my mission. The others helped me raise him, it was difficult at first but once I got used to the kid things started to move a little easier.” Y/n smiles at the mandalorian, he’s heard stories of his people and how they were the toughest knights and that shouldn’t be messed with. And somehow here he is, listening to mando talk passionately about his own kid.
“He must be a really adorable kid, you make it sound like he’s the most precious thing in the world.” Y/n giggled out, finishing up his own food. He pulls his legs up, placing his hands on his knees. He stared into the fire as he began to explain his own story. “I wasnt always treated as a prince, my mother came from a middle class who married my father and soon had me. She didn’t treat me differently, she loved me like a normal son.” He chuckles. “We would both sneak around the kitchens, stealing bakes goods and run back to our room to eat them in secret...” he smiles at the memory of his own mother.
“What happened to her?”
Y/n’s smile fades away. “She got sick, the doctors couldn’t do anything to help. So I stayed next to her everyday and night. My father was never around he probably never loved my mom and only used her to get an heir for the throne.” His expression changed into hatred. “My mother passed away a couple of days later, I remember approaching my father to tell him the news about my mothers death...he didn’t mourn or phase he just remained the same old man that I remember until this day.” He was gripping his knees closer to himself.
The mandalorian didn’t know if he should feel bad for the other, he suffered just as much as anyone else. Watching his own mother die in front of him and having to deal with a father that didn’t care about his own wife and son. Dyn has heard of similar stories like this from the other mandalorians, before they became a mandalorian.
Dyn’s life was different before than it is now.
“Tommorrow we change route.” He suddenly says, catching the other by surpise.
“What do you mean change route? Do you know a faster way to Druklok?” The prince questions.
The mandalorian gets himself comfortable, leaning his head back. “I accepted this job for the money but I’m also the kind of person who likes to break the rules, so tomorrow morning we change routes that’ll take you far away from Druklok and Snivo.”
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1826 Tuesday 14 March
7 1/2
11 25/60
Went into the stable - Sent off my letter to 'Mrs. Betsy Harrison Mr. Fisher's, Petergate, York' - Went out at 8 3/4 to James Sykes for a few minutes - at 9 down the o.b. [old bank] to H-x [Halifax] 1/4 hour with Mr. Parker giving him directions for advertising Northgate house with or without the whole or part of six days work of land or ten if wanted (taking the 2 fields Thomas Greenwood has) - to be let from year to year or for a term of years - to be advertised twice in the Leeds Intelligencer and Leeds Mercury - then asked Mr. Parker to consider of the best means to recover the £66 odd from the commissioners of the Brighouse and Denholme Gate road - mentioned seizing the tolls - Mr. P- [Parker] thought the law would not bear us out in this - said it was my fathers proposing - bade him speak to my father on the subject -
Got home in 54 minutes Went down to Jackman preparing to begin wearing at the great bend in the brook at the bottom of the Dolt wood - Came in to breakfast at 10 50/60 - Mr. Carr came a little before 12 - He will take my price £160 per days work for the quantity of land we wanted yesterday - Mr. Samuel Washington to come over and stake out and measure for us as soon as possible - Staid perhaps 10 minutes with Mr. Carr, then talked it over with my aunt - she seems quite satisfied - Including this purchase and the ground at Northgate and the cottage building there, I do not think, if we borrow the money (about £1400) at 5 percent, it make a loss of income of more than £35 a year - came up stairs a little before one - Calculating what money we should probably receive and probably spend before the next rent day - the receipts ought to be about £300, the expenses will be about £2000 - I hope we can do with borrowing £1500 - If this be the case, I think we shall have about £950 a year - then wrote the above of today - all this has done me good -
On coming in from H-x [Halifax], found a letter from Mrs. Milne (Langton) - read it at the breakfast table my aunt saw that something was the matter and at last inquired - I merely mentioned from whom I had heard - and my aunt began innocently wishing I had no friends etc. etc. they never left me at rest, etc. etc. - I felt as if I could not say much, or think much on any subject - would write immediately even tho I felt it would be wisest to drop the matter here and write no more my heart misgave me I did not expect just such an answer and yet she was right the first page and two lines on the second were probably seen by Charlotte thanks for the regles d'ecarte 'of which I cant understand one word' etc. etc. 'I am full of astonishment at Mariana's hop'....Mrs. N- [Norcliffe] hopes she will make Langton in her way, etc. etc. then on the second page as follows
Langton March thirteenth strange and inconsistent but I have done never more shall letter of mine hurt your eye or wound your heart you have indeed with a ruthless hand snatched and destroyed the blossoms you yourself planted in my bosom but it is ever so with me it matters not however a few short moments of weal or woe and this scene must close on the wretched and on the happy I have it under your own hand otherwise no power could make me believe that my friendship and love could make such desolation forgive me the mischief was unintentional your happiness not your misery was my hope and prayer but I have done best best loved tho latest known farewell for ever
the copying this letter makes me feel a strange sinking at heart how pathetic brevity affects us I know her all her scrapes with others and have been taught she has no heart nor principle and yet my heart is sad and her lines affect me she is indeed a dangerous woman at this moment I could kneel to her yet have I before said to myself she is a bad one she would only make a fool of me or Pi [Mariana] has often told me so it must be true how could indifference turn to such love so soon I will take no notice of this letter the matter shall rest where it is let us see what she will do she will give me up now and give herself no more trouble about me she cannot in reality care much and by and by I shall forget her and all this will be the best for us both surely there is not much harm done yet yet I catch myself sighing deeply what means it I will quit the subject and my journal for the present -
Had just finished the above of today at 2 25/60 - then went down to my aunt for 1/2 hour - Told her I thought we should manage very well - that I had been calculated, and, at all rates, we should have, as I said, £900 a year, and should not borrow more than £2000 - Came upstairs and from 3 to 5 wrote 3 pages and the ends, and crossed the 1st page to Miss Mc.L- [Maclean] said I had written to MacDonald - hoped Miss Mc.L- [Maclean] would bring her down with her - Fearing she has had some unpleasant news from Mrs. Bury 'for me there is no peace between the prudence of some, and the fatal imprudence of others' observed in answer .....
'Be thankful for the extreme that is on the right side; and bless their sister's prudence, tho' it be sometimes clad in all the cautious coldness of reserve - Send your heart to me, my love and leave the rest to jog on with the world, as its own pace - yes! yes! we know each other by letter, at all events; and, thro' all these years, as all my pages that are kept can prove, my sentiments of esteem and admiration, and regard, have been, like everlasting, fresh at their latest as their earliest hour - Go where I may, Sibbella, a nameless charm will wrap you round my memory for ever - I have often mentally blessed our drive to Otley - our meeting at Esholt completely changed the style of my regard - I wish I had been present when you wrote this: - it was the moment, above all others, which I should have chosen for 'peeping into your heart' - I have often thought of, and wished I could scarce define what - that drive to Otley was indeed 'a delightful dream', too delightful to be dreamed of before it came'.......
Then from 5 to 5 10/60 wrote 2 1/2 pages to Miss Pickford thanking her for her inquiries after my aunt - she is worse - 'more enfeebled and worse than she was a 12 month ago' - ask if she can 'give us any hints for our journey on the Continent our place of settlement for the winter is still undetermined - Let us have your opinion as to climate comforts, etc.' - In my 1st page I had mentioned going to Buxton in July and August for 5 or 6 weeks, and 'Thence to the South of France, or some good climate for the winter' ask her as well as Miss Mc.L- [Maclean] 'By the way, do you think you can, by any convenient means, get us what might turn out a pleasant introduction to any one abroad' -
Dressed - dinner at 6 1/4 - Cold, rather hazy rawish morning - began to rain about 10 1/2 - a smartish shower and continued till between 12 and 1, when it gradually abated, and, from about 2, was fine for the rest of the day - Barometer 1/2 degree below changeable Fahrenheit 43° at 9 55/60 p.m. at which hour came up to bed E..O.. - Read from page 17 to 25 Quarterly review no. [number] 65 on the Reformation in England 'Mr. Todd (vide this no. [number] of the Quarterly review page 19) 'in his able preface to the republication of Cranmer's work on the Sacrament, has hunted Dr. Linyard thro' his many mistatements with severe and unrelenting vigilance' -
Reference: SH:7/ML/E/9/0070 - SH:7/ML/E/9/0071
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there wasn’t any water in the wishing well
ICONIC CONETL
10.5 sweeps / 24 years old | somewhere in the continental core
2191 words
“Sweetling,” you say, “d’you figure I’m just bad at this?”
The bathroom smells like bleach and copper, sharp enough that it makes you want to gag. The cool of the tile against your forehead’s some help! It’s a distraction, at least, for a few moments at a time. And then you hear the scrape of metal on metal, and your gorge is back up, heavy as a softball in the back of your throat.
You’d known what you were getting into! But, oh, knowing your intolerances didn’t mean you’d realised it’d be quite this bad. If anyone’s going to be pawing at your ports, though, it might as well be Sipara.
She was the first to see them after they were installed. Why shouldn’t she be the first to see them now that they’re broken?
“Bad at what?” she says idly. When you glance back at her, she’s still digging through her toolkit, pulling things to the side and setting them on the sink. Her little sterilisation box is behind them, its mouth half-open and waiting with a patience that nearly feels palpable.
When you look at it, it winks at you.
“Don’t ask me. Oh, everything? Bonnie’s off in space. Vadadear is -” You drag your tongue across your lips. “- a bad idea,” you decide, slowly. “A terrible idea. Steamy’s - well, Bonnie’s off in space. D’you think she would be, if I were, y’know - better at this?”
“I think,” she drawls, “your face’s going white, nerd, so, like, stop watchin’ me set up?”
You turn back to the tile, closing your eyes as you rest your head against it. This isn’t Sipara or Hadean’s apartment, you don’t think. Maybe the little brownblood dawdling in the living rooms? The walls are all green and white, painted up in something that edges uncannily close to jade, and if you stare long enough, you think you could dig up the hex code. “So bossy, sweetling.”
“But fine! I’m looking away.”
“Good.” All you have to listen to is the clink of metal as she moves. A message from Cramel pops up in the corner of your vision, but it’s as scrambled as everything coming in from your wetware’s been, lately, so you blink the notification off. Oh, if it’s important, she’ll call. “And, umm - Bonnie’s your rail, yeah?”
“Mm~!” If you just focus on the conversation, this is all nearly tolerable. There’s something nostalgic about this, for all that you’d never let Sipara work on you back when you were still quadrants. Shepherd would’ve skinned the both of you if she’d so much as nicked any of her hardware, and the scars had still been fresh, back then.
No, it’s not the portwork that’s familiar. It’s just the feel of her, and the comfort of being near. Sipara’s practically a weight in any room she’s in, and it’s soothing enough to fall into her orbit. You’d mostly combed through her problems! She was a pupa. But that was a sweep ago, and she’d always wanted to try, at least, for yours. “Mm. She’s gone all the time. Policeradicator business, y’know,” you say, and you hear the twitch of her ear. “Which is fine, I’m not exactly a clingy sort of fellow, but - well - it’s just kind of wretched, isn’t it, when you don’t know when someone’ll be there, or when they’ll be gone?”
Your words are getting a little heavy. You roll your shoulders, letting your eyes drift up for all that no one can see it. “How did you manage with your dear fourprongs, sweetheart?”
She doesn’t reply. You give her twenty seconds, then thirty, but the silence is just dragging on, getting heavier with each passing moment, and then you give in. “Sipa?”
When you turn around to look at her, her shoulders are hunched in, and.. oh. She’s not looking at you. You step over, careful, and each step feels like weights are tied to your feet. (How do people ever manage without psionics?) “Sipa,” you croon, reaching out. Her hair’s covering her face, thick as a curtain. You have to tuck your hand under her face to tilt it up, one thumb on her chin, and -
- she’s crying, the sort of runny brown tears you haven’t seen since she was little. “Oh, no,” you say, alarmed. “Oh, no, sugarpop - Sipadear - what’re you doing?”
She snarls at you, baring every last one of those fangs, and just like that, you withdraw. There’s plenty of old scars on your wrists and arms from her snits as a pupa, rings of weals and chalk-white skin. You don’t need to add more. “Sipadear,” you scold, but that doesn’t bring down the threat display; she just whines instead like a broken car engine, with the sort of rasp that you don’t know where she got. “What’s wrong? C’mon, sweetling, you’ve got words. What’s the matter?”
She sniffs. You croon at her, voice pitched low and soft as a lusus. “Cinnamondumpling,” you half-sing, “c’mon, now, spit it out -”
She opens her mouth.
There’s a sharp knock at the door, loud as a gunshot, and just like that, Sipara wilts.
“Sips?” Hadean calls a moment later, and you’re going to strangle him. “You okay in there?”
“I -”
Oh, for fuck’s sake, she actually sobs, before she clamps both hands over her mouth.
It’s a little too late. If it was anyone else, you’d be impressed by how quickly the door snatches open! Hadean’s certainly got a mind for dramatics; if he wasn’t as ruint as the rest of you, blood-dark shadows marring his skin and hollows in his cheeks, it’d be almost striking. His horns are up, his lip is curled. He looks like a hound stepping in front of his herd, after it went and got hit by a car.
It’s pathetic.
“We’re fine,” you drawl, stepping forward. There’s blood streaking down his face again, a sticky cherry river creeping down those cheekbones, and if Sipara wasn’t here, you’d lick your thumb and wipe it right off.
But she’s right here. It’s a shame, really! If she wasn’t, you can’t help but reflcet, this would be a nice enough opportunity to get rid of your little clone, once and for all. (Even down to the initials - every time you’re over it, something reminds you of exactly how subpar her replacement for you was.) “We’re just talking, sweetheart. Y’might’ve heard of it~! It’s what folks do when they’re not cracking heads with strangers online, mm?”
“So don’t worry!” There’s the smaller brownblood peeking out from behind him, dull eyes wide as saucers in the dark. “You and your little sap-eyed potoobrain can just settle down.”
“We’re fine,” Sipara echoes behind you, scrubbing at her eyes with a palm. “I promiiise -”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure!”
He glances your way with a derisive flick of his eyes, and then he clicks his tongue, pulling the door shut.
You give it thirty seconds, then you tilt your head at her. “Sipara,” you coax, soft. “Sweetheart! What’s got you started, hmm?”
“.. Pheres’s dead.”
Oh.
You don’t think congratulations are what she’s after, exactly! Or, well, no. Of course it isn’t, for all that it’s warranted, and for all that he isn’t her quad any longer. But that’s alright. You can say something comforting, the sort of things she’s waiting to hear. You open up your mouth -
- and what comes out is a crackle of static instead, as the censoring device kicks in.
If you could, you’d scalp Raphae for this. But he’s over two hundred miles towards the sea, and you can’t focus on the swell of rage, not when Sipara’s right here. “Don’t cry over it,” you try instead, and this time, when you reach out, she doesn’t growl. Her hair’s wiry under your palm, the way it always was. Has been. And when’s the last time you had to comfort her when she cried? “C’mon, now, chin up, sweetling. What d’you think that’s gonna do?”
“It’s not fair.” She leans into your hand hard, eyes fluttering shut, and if her voice’s ragged, her expression’s just tight. “It’s not fair, Ico, it’s - he’s dead, and I couldn’t do anything - nobody even knew to do nothing - and - and Riccin’s hurt, and -”
“Everyone keeps leaving.” Her voice’s getting thick. Your throat’s tightening in response, a cold weight hanging in the back, somehow so different from the way you were gagging before. “Hads almost died, too, and - everyone keeps leaving, and so did you, and now you’re trying to pretend we’re normal.”
“I thought you were dead!”
You’d have preferred to stick with the gagging, you think.
Her eyes are shining red, now, that rheumy cusp-hue that you’ve never been sure what to think of. It’s trailing sticky tracks down her cheeks, for all of her swiping; there’s tears dripping off of her lashes and rolling down her nose, and it’s awful, because through it all, she’s watching you. And you don’t know what to do.
With Bonnie, you’d have papped her. Or shooshed her. A sweep ago, you might’ve done the same with Sipara, properity be damned! How many times is your fledging going to swing into the nest, singing her sad songs? These are the sort of things that her moirails should be dealing with, but..
Well. Sipara’s always had wretched taste in that sort of thing, hasn’t she?
So you ruffle her hair, running your fingers through the ironed-flat strands, letting your nails scrape at her scalp in the way you know she appreciates. “Oh, my poor little hellion. D’you want an apology?” Her eyes are so red. “Because I’m sorry I left you,” you say, warm and soft and carefully, meticulously free of your usual contempt. Sipara’s all shining light and brittle edges, right now. The wrong word could shatter her like a pane, you think, without even trying.
So you keep it docile. “I would’ve brought you with me, if I’d thought about it - but, gosh, I didn’t, and that was downright cruel. But I’m here now. And I’m not going to leave again, how’s that?” You free your hand from her hair, give her ear a little tug that sets all of the rings to jangling. “It’ll be you and me, from now on,” you half-croon, lusus-soft, but she’s just.. staring at you.
The last time you’d had to comfort her like this, she’d been round-cheeked and moptopped, nearly a whole sweep younger. Her face’s got angles, now. She looks older, and the shade of her pupa-self rests in the twist of her mouth, the cant of her ears. It’s painfully familiar. It’s distressingly new, too, and like a routine set to new music, you’re not sure exactly where to set your feet.
“Sipa -” you prompt, and then she flings down her tools in a clatter of metal, and throws herself at you.
Her face fits neatly into your collarbone. She’s just small enough that her curls tickle at the bottom of your chin, and her hands, when she wraps them tight around your back, are entirely too warm. She’s too warm, really, to be touching you; you can feel the heat of her sinking through your skin and burning each of your scars, wedging its way in like brands on your husk. You’ve gone stiff as a rod, but she doesn’t seem to notice.
You hate folks touching you like this, but it’s Sipara. You pat her head, awkwardly, twice, and you give her a moment before you start gently prying her off. She goes, grudgingly, ears drooping so low that they’re brushing her shoulders. “Don’t strangle me,” you tease her, once she’s finally loose. She looks like a half-drowned rat, poor pupa, so you sling an arm around her shoulder, haul her in as close as you can tolerate.
“It’s understandable you’re upset, sugarhorns.” There’s a fine line to dance here, between true sympathies and false, but you can manage it. Haven’t you spent sweeps learning how? “And I’m sorry for your loss. For everyone’s. But you’ve still got your little red-mite out there, don’t you?” A beat. “And you’ve got me.” You give her shoulder a tug, then you let go. Her hair’s all a mess from your tousling! Fingers through it straightens it out neat enough, at least. “So don’t fret -”
She exhales, deflating under you, and then she pulls back. “I don’t believe you,” she says, quiet. “I dunno how I can.” She’s not looking you in the eyes as she turns away, shoulders down, her ears still drooping, and.. oh. Oh, damn it all. “Sipa,” you try, coaxing, “hey -”
“We got work to do, dude.” Her voice’s getting steadier, now that she’s not looking at you, and somehow that hurts. It used to be that you could comfort her out of whatever ruts she was in, as easy as soothing your lusus.
But you suppose a lot changes, in half a sweep. “Go ahead and take off your shirt, and we’ll get started.”
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