#let alone cute horror cc

[puppycheesecake]

Hello, nurse. 🩸 (feat. @saruin‘s new dress)

[campfam4lyfe]

So good to meet another Brookji/Kenlynn fan! What do you think that will happen between them in JWCT season 2 (or later seasons)?

YESSS ANOTHER BROOKENJI!!!!!

okay so, honestly, i have like. zero clue. of what i think will actually happen, because there could be so many different roads for them to take. i know what i want though, and that is a kenlynn endgame. i understand why they broke up, i do. but to see their faces as it happened. the devastation--neither of them wanted it. but kenji had to do it, and i dont blame him.

but guys! brooklynn loves the camp fam--she keeps their picture up on her mystery board. she kept it as her lockscreen. she loves them. i also have to say, that brooklynn loves kenji. as a boyfriend, as a lover--as her person. darius says she was real broken up about the breakup, and she clearly had regrets. she told darius about how and where it happened. she kept that video with the "brokwie bear" and "kenji wenji." she has that video because she couldn't help but film him bc she thought he was being cute. it was one of the first things they saw when they decided to look through her phone! she loves him!

and kenji loves her--his grief over her death, his anger at the people he suspected of being involved in her death--the constant "where were you's" to darius--he needed to know why he wasnt there. that bit where he says "be honest with me. if you loved brooklynn, and mean, really loved her, why werent you there?" broke me, absolutely, cause goddamn ouch. like. he loves her, so he couldnt imagine not showing up if she called him. to the extent where he needs to know why darius wasnt and its like. does he, somehow, blame himself a lot? is that a veiled, *i* could have been there, why didnt she want me there?? devastating stuff.

but. thats all s1 stuff. youre asking about season 2 and onwards! so. what i think will happen--okay, so, you remember how in the end of s1 cc they showed ben was alive? and then we got a ben&bumpy episode that spanned the near-month he was alone. im wondering if they'll do that with brooklynn at some point. truly, i dont know. its possible, but maybe there going to reveal it in pieces, like flashbacks.

i want to know how brooklynn survived. the extent of her realtionship with ronnie, and about all the stuff she'd uncovered abt the dino smugglers since she started till now.

but also, i want a reunion so so bad, and since CT was handling everything else so well, i think theyll do a reunion justice too. and that means i think they will give some of the characters space to be angry. obviously i think there will be relief--who wouldnt be, to find out your friend is alive? but then i think there might also be betrayal, or anger or both.

and maybe also a little horror. brooklynn lost her HAND. and those moments leading up to it must have been terrifying.

i want the fact that she has lost a hand to be addressed. for instance, she can't drive her motorcycle anymore, at least not without a proper prosthesis. and its clearly something she liked doing--her helmets! one for her and one for kenji. just. AHHHHHH you know???

i want kenji to be wooed, let brooklynn woo kenji CT writers, let them woo each other.

i realize i keep meandering and never properly answering your question. im so sorry! okay--i think things will be tense, probably, with relief mixed in, but also a lot of hurt, and some anger. i think brooklynn will have her reasons, its a matter of whether or not the camp fam can accept those reasons or not, after all, we cannot force anyone to accept our apologies. i think they will however, though it may be at different stages for different characters. i think kenlynn will be able to reconcile, and im hoping for a "i knew youd come around/dont ruin it" call back. (my biggest hope is for that ghost line callback tho) but i also think brooklynn will have to show kenji that she does value his time and being with him, and just, him. which, i think its clear she does, but she got a little too consumed with her mystery for a hot sec.

[meimi-haneoka]

Akiho Shinomoto - a manifesto of love

Despite becoming one of my favorite characters in the whole Cardcaptor Sakura franchise (and I would’ve never expected to love a new character this much), I realized I’ve never spent a long post for her, like the ones I did for SyaoSaku or for Tomoyo and Syaoran long time ago.

And there’s a lot to say, because Akiho Shinomoto is actually the first character who has introduced the concepts of evil and child abuse in Cardcaptor Sakura.

Something that wasn’t even remotely conceivable until (almost) 5 years ago.

Often considered boring and weak from the CCS fandom, Akiho actually harbors an immense strength inside of her, which goes mostly unnoticed to everyone, in-story friends included. Let’s see why.

Sentenced to death, for lack of magical powers

Once upon a time, a baby girl was born in a clan of powerful magicians, the most ancient of Europe. Clan members seemed happy and curious about the new entry to the family. They had great expectations about what magic she would develop, as everyone else in that family. At the ripe old age of 1 year and a half / 2 years, the baby girl was expected to show some signs of magic, but she had none. But hey, maybe she would become powerful later, let's pat her head and wait patiently. At that time, the Clan still showed some kind of "attention" for her.

But by the time the girl was around 6/7 years old, no fragment of magic appeared in her. Unacceptable. She's the daughter of two top rank magicians, in a clan of magic prodigies. Yet, she showed none of those gifts. They kept comparing her with some boy, living in a far away country, part of another famous magical clan. The girl suddenly held no more interest for her Clan. They actually started seeing her as a stain on their Clan's pride. Suddenly, the focus was all on how they could surpass the other rival clan. The girl was left all alone. A magicless member of the family is a member who doesn't even deserve being talked to. An interrogatory, at most. Who cares if the little girl wants to socialize, if she wants to play, if she's the only young person in that Clan, already without her parents who died so early on? The only thing this girl was good at was reading books, so all that's she's allowed to do. Not even playing with stuffed animals. For some reason, she's allowed to keep only ONE plushie, which is basically everything to her. But books and dolls can't fill that sinkhole she's already feeling at such young age.

Obsessed with this "anomaly", when she was about 2 years old, the Clan had the baby girl examined by a member of a Magic Association in England, known to be the den of shady magicians. A 8/9 year old bored magic genius, named “Yuna D.”, was her examiner. The boy said "She's like a blank book". The girl grew up, and the situation was still the same. The disapproving stares of her relatives cut the little girl’s heart like a sharp knife. They called her “worthless”, “useless”. They even doubted she could really be the daughter of her powerful parents. So what should they have done? Let the little girl live her life like any other regular human being, or taking literally the words of a BORED, EMOTIONALLY UNDEVELOPED CHILD who literally spat out the first thing that came to his mind?

Although the choice should’ve come easily for any normal human being with a functioning brain, they actually went in the other direction, greedy for power. And so, they decided to treat the girl like a tool, using her to store all kinds of magic for them to use. If she couldn’t be of any help to her clan with her capabilities, they would give her a purpose.

On some kind of altar, halfway between a lab rat and the sacrificing ritual of a sect, the most ancient Magicians of Europe together with the Magic Association performed a dangerous magic on her, which afterwards would take its toll even on the casters: they turned her into a magical artifact, capable of engraving in herself all the magical books she would encounter, transforming her de facto into a book herself. As if this wasn’t horrifying enough, this spell will progressively try to crush her soul and conscience, until it gets destroyed completely. So when the artifact will reach its limit, it will be the death of her, as a human being. Only a shell of her will remain. And judging by what was said later on in the story, they actually hope for her to lose her consciousness completely, so they can make use of her more easily.

Afterwards, they burned the book they took the ritual from, so the procedure would remain in their knowledge only. Greedy till the very last drop.

Once their perfect magical tool was achieved, turning a little girl into some sort of artifact, both the Clan and their accomplices couldn't stop bragging about it. The only positive words Akiho has ever received in her life by her people were after she was turned into a tool.

With a newly found purpose for that stain on their clan’s pride, they sent her away into the world to collect all the magic books she could find and write their powers into her, even though she was still just a child. For reasons still unknown, Yuna D., the boy who involuntarily caused this horrible ritual to happen and basically condemned her to death, offers himself to accompany her. The very first decision he took in his own life. That decision will change forever the course of their life, for both of them.

Rising from the ashes, towards a future of hope

Rehashing Akiho’s past is important to understand her personality and behavior fully. CLAMP, in the Clear Card manga, have portrayed the story of her past in a very peculiar way: it starts as any other fairytale, with light tones and cute designs. But as the story progresses, and the horror ensues, the tone of the tale changes, and so the drawing style too. It becomes serious, and “realistic” (ad opposed to the initial cutesy style). What started as a possible generic fairytale, turned into a real nightmare.

On top of being deprived of the love of her parents ever since she was born, because apparently they died right after, Akiho spent her early childhood in complete solitude. Those magicians who were supposed to be her remaining family were too absorbed into their own greed for power, to consider the needs of a baby girl. Not to mention that they had some kind of disgust for her, for being magicless. She was denied attention, cuddles, conversations, play activities, toys. She was denied love and care. All basic things that contribute to shape the personality and psychology of a person. Akiho grew up with the conviction that she wasn’t worth any of that, because no one gave it to her. One of the complaints I have seen the most about her in the fandom, is how she’s always so apologetic, to the point of becoming obnoxious. If you think about it, one of the most prominent characteristics of her personality is how she continuously apologizes to people, thanks them for any smallest thing, and is always, constantly seeking validation. 

But if you stop for a second to think about her past, you’ll realize with dismay that those are none other than symptoms of the abuse she suffered in the past. She was called “good for nothing” and “useless” by her clan and the Magic Association, and those words carved themselves into her heart, forever scarring it. Akiho grew up believing that she was really worthless and good for nothing just because she couldn’t meet the expectations of her clan, and it’s apparent when we see her considering herself “extremely clumsy”, even though we have afterwards seen that she’s perfectly capable of cooking, sewing, even playing sports. She only needs the dedication of someone who would teach her that.

With a disastrous psychological situation like this, one would naturally wonder how this girl didn’t commit anything extreme yet. Completely alone in the world, deemed useless. Unloved.

Books, books were her first lifeline. The fictional, magical, wonderful worlds depicted in those stories saved her sanity, making her dream about a better life, about friendship, about love. They taught her everything. They gave her the hope that those things existed out there, and maybe one day she would be blessed with them too. The fantastical characters kept her company when no one was there for her (yet). And she loves them viscerally for that, to the point of seeing herself mending damaged books in the future, as a possible occupation. Just like they mended her lacerated heart.

The second lifeline was her meeting with Kaito. Uncharacteristically to him, Kaito showed immediately a kind and interested behavior towards her. This was so shocking, so incredible that Akiho’s first reaction to his introduction was to run away. No one ever addressed her with the intention of having a conversation. No one was ever interested in what she was reading. Even just by this you can get a glimpse of how miserable her life had been till then. Full of psychological issues himself, thanks to the human connection Kaito gradually turned his attentions towards Akiho from contrieved mannerism, to genuine and sincere gestures. Akiho can feel that affection, even if her self-criticism always pushes her to believe that she’s nothing more than “job” to him. It’s something small, but what she’s experiencing with Kaito is her everything, and more than she’s ever had.

The third lifeline is Momo: Akiho doesn’t know, nor remotely imagines she’s actually a living magical creature. But she has been her constant presence ever since she was born. Her connection to her is special, and you can see it in their daily (one-sided, for now) interactions. Akiho talks to Momo, she greets her when she comes back home, she constantly carries her around, she thinks about giving her a little dress as a present. Momo is Akiho’s strength. The love this girl pours into what she believes is just a stuffed animal is incredible. It goes to show Akiho’s immense capacity to love something/someone without expecting anything in return, but actually just enjoying the simple presence and courage they give to her. If you think about it, it’s the very opposite of what she experienced with the only human interactions she’s ever had before Kaito came into the picture. Her aptitude to selfless love is also remarked between the lines in chapter 49, when Akiho is telling Sakura about her relationship with Kaito. Despite all the ugliness she went through, she’s still able to find in herself the strength to overcome all of it, and change her life for the better.

This certainly hasn’t been an easy or quick process, because in the flashbacks of her journey with Kaito we always see her with a pensive/serious look. It must have been extremely hard to start trusting others, when she had no one she could count on in her own home.

Akiho’s capacity to love and rise from the ashes of her terrible past has been so contagious, that it has started to affect Kaito too.  As Momo said in chapter 51, once you’re given the reason to change, no person can ever stay the same. This must have been true for Kaito, but certainly for Akiho too.

I’m absolutely positive that Akiho (and possibly, Kaito too) will be the symbol for one of the most important, beautiful messages in the whole Clear Card Arc: even if your life isn’t perfect, even if your past scarred you in multiple ways, there’s always hope. Hope to turn over a new leaf and change yourself for the better too, in the process. Overcome everything that had you stuck in pain and grief. Achieve what you always wished for.

[imagine-loki]

Loki's Daughter

TITLE: Loki’s Daughter CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 9: Life, the Universe, and The Meaning of Everything AUTHOR: traveling-classicist ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Avengers: Endgame AU Loki that gets away with tesseract has been using it to explore the universe. During his adventures, he comes across a little girl with developing but oppressed magical abilities. Intrigued (and subconsciously lonely) Loki keeps her around.

RATING: T

AO3 Link: Here NOTES/WARNINGS: This is like draft 15 of this chapter. I’ve been pulling my hair out over this one so CC is appreciated. I don’t have a beta reader and would love one if someone is interested. Warnings apply to this chapter mainly those concerning mentions of past torture for Loki.

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            Kuna felt like she was flying, the wind was whipping through her hair. She tried to open her eyes but they immediately filled with tears. All around her there was darkness with flicks of blue light swirling about her. Vaguely, she could feel Loki holding onto her. In her hands, was the tesseract. It felt like it was trying to buck her off, flinging her up and down, left and right. She struggled to hold onto it.

            Then, in front of her, she could see the brown orb of a planet coming up fast. This had never happened before when they had used the tesseract, but then again, Loki had always been in control of it. They were not slowing down. She turned her head away, bracing herself for the impact with the ground. They crashed into the planet but Kuna felt like she went further, crashing through the glass of the tesseract and into the blue, shimmering ocean inside. Then, she was flung into darkness once more.

            She could not see anything. There was no sound, no light, no smell, no feeling. Had she died? This didn’t feel like hells. She didn’t really know what hells felt like. She assumed it would be painful, but this was peaceful. She felt as though she were floating at the bottom of an ocean abyss. She could feel nothing but the emptiness all around her. She could still breathe, so it wasn’t a real ocean, she figured.

As she floated there, she began to feel a presence. In the absence of all her senses, this presence was soothing. She tried to focus on it as it moved closer to her. There was a familiarity to it but she couldn’t place it. Slowly, the presence began to spin around her. It was soon joined by another and another and another until there were six of these strange presences swirling in a circle around her. They seemed to vibrate and hum with the same frequency. It made Kuna feel peaceful, despite them moving faster and faster around her. They were causing a beautiful hum that Kuna could sense deep inside her. However, in front of her eyes – if she even still had them – she still saw nothing but darkness.

Curious about these presences, she tried to stretch out her hand to touch them but her hand did not move on her command. Kuna did not have time to feel fear at the fact she could not move, as now the hum began to intensify. The circling essences began to close in around her, spinning faster and faster. A rushing sensation overcame Kuna. Energy began to pulsate around her. They felt as if they were just inches away from her.

There was a sudden explosion of light and color. Kuna’s senses rushed over her like a wave. She was overwhelmed by what she saw but she had no time to take any of it in before she was sent hurtling through the newly formed space all around her. Beside her, a blue gem glowed. Without its pristine carrying case, it had been difficult for Kuna to recognize the tesseract, but now she could feel its friendly energies guiding her. For a brief moment, Kuna could see five other brilliantly colored gems fly off in different directions.

 All around her she saw clouds giving birth to little lights: the stars. The lights began to circle each other just as the humming presences had done her. Galaxies formed; massive collections of spinning stars and dust. Planets and moons formed, colliding in massive explosions that sent debris flying into the new universe. A balance of chaos and order surrounded little Kuna.

Kuna’s eyes glittered at the creation of all things around her. She and the tesseract flew through the universe together. It showed her life forming on the newly formed planets. It showed her how life began to evolve; how some came to stand on two legs, others four, some even more, some none at all; how they made tools and conjured fire; how they looked to the stars for the answers to their deepest questions.

Time flew by before her little eyes. The tesseract showed her the immense beauty of the first dying star, as it grew and grew, and then cooled and cooled, before exploding into a brilliance of light and dust. They continued to zoom through space, sometimes closing in on an event, others retreating to an unimaginable distance. Kuna saw branches of dust, incorporating innumerable galaxies; branches like those of the great trees on Torileena. Massive trunks and swaying limbs made up of trillions of galaxies made up of trillions of stars and tiny planets with clinging life, that swayed in the breeze of the first explosion.

They drew back further and Kuna could see even more universe trees. Her little eyes struggled to grasp the enormity of it all. Her mind agonizing over the vastness of the forest laid out in front of her, which seemed to stretch on ad infinitum. The tesseract drew them in again, back to her tree. The tesseract began showing her the beauty of the creation it had made, again. Planets with mountain ranges of volcanoes, planets made entirely of diamonds that sang to her as she passed, flat planets, round planets, planets that were alive.

The life that clung to them were growing smarter and some more violent as a result. She watched in horror as they began to destroy each other with the weapons they had made. She watched as they began to enslave one another. The sight frightened her.

The tesseract turned them away from the horrors. It showed her stacks of swirling dust creating more stars for the growing universe. It showed her galaxies colliding but never touching; combining and swirling around each other until the separated once more. She laughed at the sheer beauty of it all. She outstretched her arms and pretended to fly like a dragon.

Once again, it turned her view back to the tiny planets in the galaxies. She watched as some of the life that had arisen from the planets started to reach for the stars, flying amongst each other with great ships. She smiled as they began to find the answers they had been searching for; as they found out they were not alone. But the happiness for them was short-lived as they began to war with each other, destroying one another. One came to power over another, causing untold suffering and grief. Another came to power over them and then another over them and on and on. Kuna wept for them.

Another glowing gem, this one purple, shot past them, colliding with a planet. She gasped at the impact it made. The life that walked the planet began to fight over the gem. One gargantuan being tried to control it and in so doing, wiped out all the life on the planet. The sight made her tremble with fear. She saw this over and over again with the other gems as they visited the planets around the universe. Again and again, life tried to control them; they tried to give themselves more and take away from others. They tried to conquer whole systems, whole galaxies, only to fail.

            They passed by a gigantic hole in space. It sucked in everything around it: stars, planets, whole galaxies. Nothing came from it, not even the smallest flicker of light. Its hunger never seemed to be sated as it just kept eating and eating. Kuna did not like this thing. It was scary, not beautiful like the rest of the universe the tesseract was showing her. She wanted the tesseract to take them away from there. It seemed to acknowledge her fear and turn them away from the mean black hole. They sped away, towards new beauties.

Suddenly, Kuna felt a tug on her being. The tesseract let out a vocalization like a cry of pain. The two of them were violently jerked back toward the black hole. They were so far away now, Kuna could not imagine that the black hole was trying to eat them. Another painful yank pulled them closer. Kuna tried to swim through space away from the giant hole but it just pulled her in faster. She reached out for the tesseract and grabbed it. The gem pulsated in her hands.

A sickening, stretching feeling came over her. She closed her eyes and clutched the tesseract tightly in her hands. Her body burned as if they had flown too close to one of the stars. She felt a horrific pain like she was being torn apart. She was sure this was a portal into hells. She lost track of herself for a moment before she and the tesseract were spat out onto a planet, or what was left of one.

Kuna turned over on the ground to find a massive man looming over her. His skin was deep purple like he had held his breath for too long. His muscles were big and scary and he had a golden hand. He smiled and laughed at her.

“How cute,” he said, laughing at her. He turned and pointed to the sky with his golden fingers. “Go see what you’re savior has done.”

The tesseract picked her up and flew off in the direction he had pointed. They circled a blue planet, covered in large swaths of ocean, painted with blots of green land, and white swirling clouds. She found the planet delightfully beautiful. Life walked its surface, only just discovering flight and electricity, like Loki had shown her; still looking to the stars for signs that they too were not alone.

The tesseract began to cry and scream again like it was in pain. It exploded, creating a hole like the one that had swallowed them but this time, instead of eating everything, it spat out an army. The little people on the planet tried to fight back. This was not the answer they had wanted to their questions. Not at all.

Kuna was drawn in closer to the battle, circling a mighty tower in a city on an island. The attackers zoomed around her in flying vehicles, killing the innocent ground-dwellers with blasts of energy. One of them flew past her. She saw a flash of gold and green and felt a familiar presence. She was pulled along behind it. Above her, the tesseract still vomited out armies of attackers.

As she closed in on the vehicle, she could see a figure on it with huge golden horns. She sped closer and caught up with it. Loki stood tall on the front of the flying vehicle, commanding the armies from above. He blasted at the life below without restraint. She felt another presence with them.

“He’s no god,” the voice of the big, purple man said. “He’s a demon.”

Kuna could feel this man’s presence encircling Loki. She could feel the anger and hatred of both of them.

“Loki, stop!” she cried to him but he did not hear her. She flew in front of him and yelled again, “Loki, please! Stop!” but he did not see her. Something was wrong with him, something was wrong with his eyes. They weren’t his eyes. She reached out to grab him but he did not feel her. She hit his face.

She felt a sudden burst of pain through her body. She closed her eyes and saw a flash of the purple man, his arm raised to hit her, his teeth clenched in a horrible smile. She heard Loki’s voice cry out in anguish.

“You can be king again,” the purple man said. He stood over Loki’s naked, bloody body. Loki’s chest was heaving, his body shaking from the pain. He was pale, his face drenched in sweat. His eyes looked blackened. “I can help you.”

Another tall, thin man stood nearby. His skin gray, his mouth black. He made a smooth gesture towards Loki. Kuna could feel magic at work. Loki convulsed and screamed in pain. Shards of glass stabbed at him causing his blood to boil.

“Stop, please!” he pleaded them. The pain stopped. “I’ll do it.”

The purple man approached him, holding a scepter with a blue gemstone in its crown. Kuna could feel the presence of one of the other gems. It must have been inside the gemstone. The purple man pressed the point of the blade into Loki’s forehead. Kuna gasped, afraid he might hurt him.

“Loki!” she cried out but he did not hear.

Tendrils of blue energy broke out across his forehead and surrounded his eyes, turning them an eerie shade of icy, blue. A smile crept across his face.

“Tell me when I begin,” he said.

“Now.”

Kuna felt as though she hit a wall and crashed through it. Once more, she was on the blue planet, flying beside Loki.

Her chest felt tight, her fists clenched. She had to stop the purple man from hurting Loki. She shoved into him with all her might. An explosion rang out and his vehicle crashed into the tall building, sending him flying inside. A big, green monster picked him up and smashed him around on the floor. She felt he deserved at least a bit of it. The purple man’s presence began to fade from Loki. She felt a sudden grip around her chest as if she was being yanked out of flight. She was pulled up through the hole in the sky. It closed behind her and the tesseract followed her. She saw a massive spaceship looming over them.

            Something zipped past them. Kuna watched as the ship suddenly exploded. The shockwave hit her like a gigagrunt. Blinded by the light of the explosion, all she could see was whiteness. She shook her head as things began to come into focus. She was laying on the ground somewhere. It was a cold, hard ground. She blinked and the world came into focus. She was laying in a crater on a planet made up of the broken remains of moons, asteroids, and other planets. On the ground beside her, was the tesseract in its cube form. She reached for it when the purple man’s voice boomed all around her.

            “Why don’t I show you my future, little one?” he said.

            “Kuna! KUNA!” Loki cried. He was frantic. They had crashed into this planet and for a moment Kuna had been there before another portal opened and then she was gone, the tesseract with her, leaving him there alone. He could not feel her aura anymore nor the stone’s.

He was completely alone on this barren, desert planet. All around him, he could see nothing - no one - for miles, except for sand dunes. The wind whipped around him, blowing sand into his eyes and mouth. He put his hand up to cover his face and shouted into the wind again.

            “Kuna!” he shouted again. “Come back! Please!” He fell onto the sand, slamming his fists onto the ground. The earth rippled beneath his fists, creating a wave of dust that reverberated around him for miles. Despite his weakness and lack of energy, he could not help his emotional magic. Stars flew before his vision at the unintentional exertion.

He had let this happen, he could not protect her, he could not keep her from the cube. There was no hope. He could do nothing to help her. He had no energy to conjure anything, not even clothes for himself.

His muscles trembled as he stared at the ground, trying to figure out what to do. He’d lost her.

            The purple man held Kuna upside down by her leg and swung her a little. She was terrified. He could see her. No one else had been able to: not Loki, nor any of the other life forms they had encountered, not even the purple man the first time she had seen him, but now he could see her. And touch her.

            “Ah, I remember when they were this small,” he mused. “Your daddy has made me very upset, little one.”

            “M-my daddy?” she asked, quite confused.

            “He took something that belongs to me. Something that you have now. And I need it back,” he said, pointing at the tesseract.

            Kuna glanced at the cube floating beside her. She shook her head, no.

            “Well, I tried asking nicely,” he said and grabbed at it. The tesseract reacted, sending out a volt of electricity-like lightning that burned his hand up to his forearm. He recoiled and dropped Kuna. The tesseract dropped with her.

As they both impacted the ground, Kuna saw visions flash before her eyes: The purple man with his golden hand, little lights glowing in the knuckles; Loki holding up the cube to the purple man.

He held the tesseract in the palm of his golden hand. He crushed it, revealing the little gem within. The scream rang out in Kuna’s ears as the gem’s energy writhed in pain. The purple man snapping his golden fingers; pain, a terrible, horrible pain that encompassed her entire being and would not stop; the universe trees wilting, dying, turning to dust.

            Kuna’s vision went blindingly white for a moment. She shook her head to make it go back to normal. Her ears were ringing; she couldn’t hear. The purple man was holding his hand, baring his teeth at it. He looked up at her, his eyes burning with hatred and malice. Four other beings were slowly approaching from behind the purple man. One, she recognized from before. The one that was torturing Loki. Her breath came quickly in her chest. She was petrified.

            The tesseract made a noise from beside her. A blissful vocalization calling out to her. She slowly turned her head towards it and the beings attacked. She dove for it.

            “NO!” Thanos cried out, but Kuna and the tesseract were gone before he or the Black Order could lay hands on her.

            As the tesseract teleported Kuna away, she saw more visions: People turning to dust; plants and animals dissolving into nothingness; entire systems imploding into soot; the universe trees were being overcome by the ashes like a deadly creeper, girdling their trunks. She closed her eyes, trying to make the visions stop but they would not. She saw the beauty that the gems created turning to darkness and desolation.

            “Stop,” she pleaded with the tesseract. “Please, take me back to Loki!”

            Loki sobbed, hugging himself, rocking back and forth on the spot. The items from their satchel were strewn all around him, slowly becoming buried in the sand that blew over them. He had frantically torn everything apart, looking for anything to help him. He had found nothing. Now, the voice in his head was taunting him again and he could not make it stop.

You’re pathetic! Look at you! Sobbing because of a child? You should be more worried that you lost the fucking tesseract! Now, we’re stuck here, you idiot.

It was hot. Loki hated the heat. His Jotun blood could not take it. He was boiling in the massive sun that loomed overhead and there was no shade anywhere. He produced very little sweat and was quickly overheating. His body trembled with exhaustion. He put his head in his arms, crying. The tears evaporated off of his arms so quickly, they provided little relief from the heat.

Suddenly, a portal opened above his head and Kuna came tumbling through it, screaming. He leapt up, holding up his arms to catch her.

Forget her! Catch the tesseract! Get out of my way! I’m taking control, here!

The voice took a corporeal form in Loki’s mind, attempting to take over. He broke free from the prison Loki had made for him. Loki did everything in his power to stop him but he was weak.

In a split second, Loki’s eyes darted to the blue cube flying beside Kuna. He reached for both the girl and the cube, both of them hitting him full force and knocking him back but his arms wrapped around Kuna, hugging her tight.

            She writhed about in his arms, screaming and crying. “NO! NO! Don’t let him take it! Don’t let him take it!”

            “Woah, woah!” Loki said, trying to calm her. “It’s me!”

            “He can’t have it! We can’t let him snap his fingers! We can’t!”

            Loki felt a chill flood his body and it was not his frost giant blood. How could she know about that? He felt a rumble within him as the other aspect of himself roiled with hatred and suspicion at Kuna. Loki pushed it down with all his might.

            “Kuna, look at me? What are you talking about?”

            She struggled in his arms, trying desperately to reach for the tesseract that was laying on the ground just a few feet away. Loki’s eyes landed on it. He exhaled faintly at the sight of it. The glimmer within the cube called out to him. He reached for it, slowly.

            “No! No! We can’t let him have it!” Kuna cried. She dove out of his lap for the tesseract. He pushed her out of the way. She rolled down the dune a few feet. Loki snatched the tesseract out of the sand, reeling his arms in with a jerk. He held the cube close to his chest. Kuna sat up in shock that he had shoved her. He stared down at her, briefly appalled by his behavior.

            Then, he felt the lovely energy reverberating from the cube. It was intoxicating. It overpowered him just as the voice in his head had. He took a deep breath from his nose and absorbed some of the tesseract’s energy. The sting of the tesseract’s heat radiated down from his hands, throughout his whole body, but he could feel himself becoming invigorated once more. Clothes conjured themselves onto his body, the wound on his chest began to slowly knit itself back together.

            Kuna gasped and screamed, tackling Loki. “No! Can’t you hear it! It doesn’t like it! You’re hurting it!” she screamed at him. She hit him several times on the chest and face. Loki still held tight to the tesseract in his left hand, hoisting it above his head.

            “Kuna, stop! It’s me! It’s Loki! Ow! Knock it off!” Loki struggled with her, trying to catch her little fists.

            “Give it back!” she shouted, crawling over his body, reaching for the cube. “You’re hurting it!”

            Loki did a backward somersault, landing on his knees. Kuna tumbled off of him. He held the tesseract aloft. She jumped up and down, hitting him over and over with the hardest punches she could muster, which felt rather more like being hit by a fluffy cloud to Loki.

            He watched her first temper tantrum with arrogance. “It must be awful, being so tiny,” he teased with a little smirk.

This only enraged little Kuna more. She tried to climb on Loki like he was a tree, but he put his free hand on her face and gently pushed her back onto the sand. She plopped down. A glint of light in the sand caught her eye: the shiny dagger from Tenanci’i.

            “Don’t you dare!” he warned, following her line of sight. He pointed a finger at her to make sure she understood.

She dove for it, scooping it up. She stood and pointed at him.

            “Put that down before you get hurt,” Loki ordered her.

            “Put down the tesseract,” Kuna ordered back. She immediately broke eye contact with Loki, fearful at talking back to an adult, let alone ordering one to do something.

            “Kuna, I’m not messing around. Put that down. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

            The tesseract made a vocalization to her again. A cry for help. Kuna charged. She stabbed at Loki but missed as he took an easy sidestep out of the way. Kuna took a stab at his legs, but he danced around her. Catching her by her free arm, Loki held her up. She swung at him with the dagger and missed again.

“You stop that right now, young lady! Give me that before you hurt yourself!” He tried to grab the dagger out of her hand before he lost his fingers. She growled and flailed at him, swinging the dagger this way and that with her eyes closed.

            “Alright! That’s it! I’m putting this away! It’s freaking you out!” he shouted. He moved his left hand in a circular motion and the tesseract disappeared into his pocket.

            “No! You’re a big meany, just like the purple man! You’re hurting the tesseract!”

            “The who?” Loki’s eyes darkened and he held her closer to him. His tone scared her and she stopped long enough for Loki to grab her hand. He slid the dagger out of her fingers and threw it into the ground with such force that only the hilt stood above the sand. Suddenly, Loki felt an electricity within his aura. A tiny portal opened and the tesseract reappeared out of his pocket and plopped onto the sand.

            “WHAT?!” Loki screamed, staring at the cube now glinting up at him from the ground.

            “L—Let go of me!” Kuna cried, reaching for the tesseract with her free hand. “I have to keep it safe if you won’t!” She clawed at Loki’s fingers, trying to free her wrist, but he was too strong. She swung and planted one foot as hard as she could right between his legs. He let out a yelp and dropped her, falling to his knees and putting his hands between his legs to stem the pain. She dove on top of the tesseract, cradling it.

Loki turned over on his side, holding himself for a moment, trying to regain his breath. The voice in his head cackled at him. How did the tesseract just teleport itself out of his pocket? Why was Kuna suddenly acting like a little warrior gremlin?

            “This is anarchy,” he puffed. “Mutiny.”

            I told you this would happen, the voice said. You should have listened to me and killed the kid when I told you.

            “Shut up, you git,” Loki muttered, his face pressed into the burning sand.

            Well I am you so what does that make you.

            Loki pushed himself up, slowly. He crawled towards Kuna who was sobbing on the ground, hugging the tesseract like one of her toys. He collected her actual toys from their scattered positions on the ground where Loki had thrown them. He carefully brushed them off and returned to her.

            “Go away, meany!” she sobbed.

            Loki hesitated. He sat down a few feet from Kuna and the tesseract, giving them some distance. She laid there, staring into its shimmering faces while she cried. Her face was still covered in blood from the fight on Tenanci’i. Her nose was bloody and her eyes were blackened as a result. Her hands and knuckles were busted and cracked from fighting. She was covered, once again, in bruises. Loki sighed, ashamed. He had shoved her. For a moment, he had allowed his other self to take control; to let the tesseract have priority over her.

            “Kuna, I’m sorry,” he said, softly.

            She sniffled but did not look at him.

            “Kuna, please. Talk to me,” he said.

            She snapped her eyes shut and shook her head, hugging the tesseract closer. Loki did not like how adherent she seemed to suddenly be to the tesseract. It was dangerous. She could accidentally teleport away again at any moment.

            Or purposely teleport away, the voice said. Loki batted the comment away and scooted a little closer to her, offering her the real toys. He inched closer.

            “Kuna,” he whispered. “It’s okay, now. I’m here. We’re safe. You got us away from the bad guys. You were very brave.”

            She opened her eyes and slowly looked up at him. He had her attention.

            “Can you tell me what you saw?” he prompted her. “What the tesseract showed you?”

            She wiped her face on her sleeve and sniffled. A couple of final sobs escaped her mouth as she tried to calm herself down.

            “It’s okay,” Loki said. “You can tell me. I’m sorry I was a big meany.”

            You sound like a moron, the voice taunted.

            “T—The purple man… he—he wants to destroy the universe forest with the gems. The ones like the tesseract,” she sniffled.

             “How did you meet the purple man?”

            She took in several gasping breaths. “H—H—He…” she stammered and started crying again.

            “Come here,” Loki said, picking her up.

            She fussed. “No! NO!”

            “I’m not going to take it from you. You can hold it. Just sit here, with me,” Loki said, calmly. Kuna held the tesseract in one hand and clutched a fistful of Loki’s shirt in the other. She laid her head on his chest and cried for a few moments. Loki placed her toys in her lap beside the tesseract. He was fighting his inner self to not grab it from her, but he was currently winning the battle. He was not sure how long it would last.

            “He pulled us into a black hole and onto his busted up planet. He wanted me to give him the tesseract. He showed me you and what you did to the blue planet and what he did to you. He tried to take the tesseract away from me, but it wouldn’t let him. It burned him up. Then, it showed me what he wanted to do with it and the other gems.”

            “The ones like the tesseract?” Loki asked, softly.

            Kuna nodded, rubbing the tears away from her eyes. “H—H—He wants to put them in his golden hand and destroy the life in the universe trees.”

            “The universe trees? You mean like Yggdrasil?” There was no way she could know about the Asgardian world tree. Loki had not mentioned it and Asgardians had yet to reach her system.

            Kuna shook her head, frustrated. She did not know what Loki was talking about, only that he was not understanding like she was.

            “The gems… planted the universe trees. This one came from our tree but there are other trees too and they all have them. And… And… And…”

            She put her hands on her head as she suddenly became overwhelmed by the memory of what she had seen; the journey she had been on. Her head started to spin. Her brain hurt. She pressed her nails into her scalp, clutching handfuls of her hair.

            “Alright, alright. Just slow down,” Loki said, putting his hands on hers, gently pulling her fingernails out of her head. He could see her pain. He could feel it too. It was not that long ago that he had felt the same pain brought on by the tesseract.

He stroked her head. “I understand, Kuna. You have a very… familiar way of describing what you’ve seen. We…” – Loki sighed – “We have a lot to talk about. But, look at me, darling.”

            Kuna opened her eyes and looked into his. Her lip was quivering and tears were beginning to overflow onto her cheeks again.

“What matters is, you’re here now with me and I will protect you from him.”

            She nodded and hugged him. He hugged her, placing his chin gently on top of her head.

            Loki’s nostrils flared with fear and anger. They needed to leave and now. If Thanos had truly caught Kuna while she was traveling with the tesseract, then he had discovered a way to track and capture the cube. They would need to be cautious from now on, even more so than they already were. Loki needed to get the cube back from Kuna without upsetting her again.

This had all been an accident. He had never meant for her to see the horrors the tesseract could show. He was impressed at the depth at which she understood the workings of the universe. She had comprehended it in such a way as a little girl who had grown up on a planet full of gigantic trees would.

            “How did you get back here, Kuna?” Loki asked, genuinely interested.

“The tesseract zapped him and got us away from them. I asked it to bring us back to you!”

            “Wow. I’m very proud of you, Kuna.”

            “I don’t really think you’re a big meany!” she cried, burying her head into his shirt again.

            “It’s alright. I can be sometimes. I’m sorry,” he said.

            “We can’t let the purple man have the tesseract, Loki.”

            “No, we can’t. You’re absolutely right, Kuna,” he said, looking down at her. “Listen very closely to me. We need to leave this desolate place but we have to do it carefully. The purple man can track us if we aren’t careful. I know how to use the tesseract; how to travel with it so he can’t catch us. Can I see it so I can take us away from here?”

            She sniffled and looked down at the cube in her lap. “It doesn’t like you.”

            “What do you mean?” Loki asked a bit taken aback by her response.

            “All you do is take from it. It doesn’t like you,” she said.

            “Well it needs to get over itself really quickly or we’re all going to be in trouble,” he grumbled.

Kuna looked up at him, her face scrunched together in anger. “You have to ask nicely. It doesn’t like to be ordered around.”

            “Okay then, I’ll be nice to it.”

            You are such a pushover. Just take it from her!

            He stretched out his hand for it. Kuna considered giving him the tesseract.

“Please, Kuna? We don’t have a lot of time and I’m boiling out here. Aren’t you? I promise I will ask it nicely.”

She gingerly gave it to him. “Thank you, Kuna,” he said.

            He stood up and picked her up, holding her on his hip. He gathered their things into the satchel and put it over his shoulder.

            “Okay,” he said, looking at the cube in his hand. “Please, tesseract, take us somewhere nice. Far, far away from Thanos.”

            “With no alcohol water,” Kuna said.

            “That’s right,” Loki agreed. “But drinkable water, at least,” he added, just in case.

            “And no snowman monsters,” Kuna said.

            “Right, no snowmen.”

            “Or angry, queen whore mommies,” she said, rubbing her face.

            Loki laughed. “Right, none of those either, please.”

            The tesseract gleamed, opening a portal in front of them. They stepped through.

[migleefulmoments]

Holy shit that abbyism you just posted... I can't. Maybe let's ask Darren then? Would Abby be ok with that? Since she's so sure he wants them to be saying he's gay and closeted and that he reads their blogs for support. (Why all the secrecy and /ing then?? Why not @ him and tag him and use his full name????)

Makes you wonder doesn’t it? I also just ran across a post about “DON’T TAG THE PLAYERS”. Obviously they know that letting Darren in on how much they “love and support” him won’t go down well. Abby has to squelch uprisings every so often -usually whenever new meet&greets are announced and ccers think they should whisper cc tropes in Darren’s ear. And I mean why wouldn’t they think that it’s a good idea to offer support and encouragement- a little “we got your back”? Abby goes on and on about how Darren reads every word that is written about him on Tumblr, followers her blog-in fact she has claimed he reads it every day, blah blah blah Yabba Dabba Doo. Listening to her go on and on about the inhumanity of Darren’s life, the loneliness and the manipulation by everyone in his inner circle- including his brother- the only compassionate thing to do is to whisper “We know, we hate PBB as much as you do. We love you and we’ve got your back....Wakanda CC forever”. if for no other reason than to let him knowhe isn’t alone. Darren has pushed back in no uncertain terms against ccers who were rude to Mia and Abby knows he will do it again. The cc house of card will go tumbling after. 

Anonymous asked:

Two things- first, I appreciate you commenting about the negative TSG tweets. I've been avoiding negative commentary on this relationshit in general on my socials because I'm aware enough to realize that D is not in control right now. Publicly dragging him on Twitter and Instagram does nothing. At least in this space it's confined to a specific group of like-minded people. Second- it REALLY irks me that these 2 are out every night. D looks on the verge of collapsing. They NEED to give him rest.

ajw720 answered:

Anon, the FIRST rule of fandom. DO NOT TAG OR CONTACT the players. I get it, people are upset, angry, confused, But frankly it is an asshole move to tag him or the organization on tweeter because you don’t like the bar or that he “married” his beard.  They have a license for entertainment, they can do what they want. I will scream about it regularly here but D should not be known as the proprietor of a sex club and they are slandering his character. But he is clearly not in control.  as I said, NO ONE WOULD CHOOSE THIS NIGHTMARE.  They are making him look so bad, but JFC his team does not need our help in making him look worse. They are doing a stand up job on their own.

Every picture is worse.  I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest every time i see him. This is supposed to be some of the greatest days one one’s life, the afterglow of being newly married and totally indulging in your partner before real life starts to take precedence again.  That man looks like the living dead and fucking exhausted.  

Every person who is responsible for this is guilty of a crime, every damn one of them.  And why they are thinking ruining a person that has worked his ass off for a career for that selfish brat is beyond me. I keep thinking whatever she has threatened is bigger than D, because seriously, who cares if he did drugs or slept with someone to get ahead?  It is NOTHING and would be talked about for one day (please know, I am not saying he has done any of these things, i am just trying to think of what she has on him). A sex tape?  he is consenting adult, release it and get it over with.  Not worth his life (yes i know his partner is a children’s author, but this is D’s LIFE). I could be wrong, but i think it involves someone more powerful than D and something precious was threatened.

I am so damn frustrated and so angry and it is breaking my heart.  I just want to see him get out of this and I want to scream at every person who thinks she is cute or their love is goals. Open your fucking eyes, there is nothing to admire about this horror show and i don’t care whose mother’s daughter’s friend knows him.  She is a BEARD and a malicious one at that who is grievously hurting him.  And not one photo or video made for public consumption is going to change that fact. Look at him, he is dying inside.

cassie1022

I can’t even begin to express how angry I am at the person that thought it was okay to tweet someone in the industry about D owning that bar and thereby sanctioning what happens there. First, he’s made it quite clear when he’s allowed to speak for himself that he doesn’t own it, he’s just the piano man and he didn’t invest his money (smart boy). And, as you said, you NEVER tweet the players directly.

Please God, that this be her last entitlement. He deserves to be free. I hope that he has something work related that will keep him busy for a long while soon. The sad excuse for a team needs to open their eyes and recognize that he’s on the verge of collapse. He’s no good to them if they push him to the breaking point and then tip him over. If famous is what her goal is, let them pick something they want to make her famous for and push it. I’ll support it so long as it’s not fame for being his beard wifey.

flowersintheattic254

Hear hear!! I dislike the tagging and I’m not comfortable with it. I understand the anger. Tbh I’ve gone through it myself, but I don’t condone constantly tagging him. I’m sure he sees it all anyway.

Problem is D is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Forced to promote that place without the control of the direction it took. So he’s stuck with being associated with it. Fake married. I’m not surprised he’s tired and stressed.

I feel like his team spent a year taking his professional reputation and ruining it. They were always pretty bad, but this year has been wrecking ball proportions. They congratulate themselves when he wins awards and then create an inarticulate frat boycaricature of a frat boi and limit the roles he can take.

I don’t understand why people can’t see his team’s mismanagement and M’s selfishness here. He’s being paraded like a trophy. Nothing about this is loving.

God I’m this close to a full on rant.

chrisdarebashfulsmiles

I swear people should totally stop using internet…or at least thinking before acting.

[lilover131]

TWC Oneshot

So after reading TWC and listening to the drama cd that came along with the 3rd volume, I was inspired to write this story. It took me longer than I wanted to write it, but I finally finished it! 

A special thanks to @song-of-amethyst for giving me permission to use some of her translations from the drama cd for the beginning part of the story! The link is here, and you should go take a look! 

Like before with my CCS oneshot, I have the link to the fanfiction.net version here, but if you do not wish to click on a link or go to another site, I have the story posted under the cut! 

TITLE: While the Stars Were Watching Us

RATING: T

SUMMARY:  After the events in the inner Nirai Kanai, the dimension travelers decide to take it easy and eat dinner together under the stars with Fuuma. However, when Syaoran is accidentally served the strongest sake, a little game ensues, and things take an unexpected turn...

WHILE THE STARS WERE WATCHING US

“If I were alone, I probably wouldn’t have made it back. It’s because everyone was there…”

 Syaoran grew quiet for a moment, the thought of just how fragile his mortality was when they were journeying through the Inner Nirai Kanai.

 “Because the distance was reduced?” Fuuma finished.

 “…That’s right,” Syaoran said after a moment. The group had certainly become much closer as their journey progressed. He couldn’t imagine ever making the decision he did to continue travelling if he thought he would be alone. Syaoran had already spent far too much time alone in his painful past, and honestly, his friends were really the only thing keeping him sane at this point.

 “For the sake of that cute princess as well, you all have to stay safe, right?”

 Syaoran stared into his empty cup at those words and nodded slowly.

 “Right”

 He only wished she could have been there with them, enjoying this homemade meal by Fai under the stars. Even though he had his friends by his side, there was still this dull ache in his heart when he thought about Sakura.

 Fuuma leaned in and poured some sake into Syaoran’s empty cup as a big smile formed on his face.

 “Now then, since the order has been delivered, and since you can finally relax…Let’s drink!”

 Syaoran blinked, looking at the cup again.

 “Ah…”

 “Now now, feel free to!”

 “A-all right”

 Syaoran took the cup and drank the sake in a big gulp, and Mokona shrieked once she saw the bottle his drink had been poured from.

 “No, Syaoran, careful!” she cried out.

 “You idiot! That was the strongest awamori liquor!” Kurogane noticed then as well, and he shouted, though it was unclear if he was yelling at Syaoran or Fuuma.

 “Oh, my!” said Fai, who seemed to already be amused at what the night would bring with this action. Fuuma, on the other hand, was confused at the mixed reactions he got around the table. As far as he was concerned, he had simply poured the boy a drink.

 “Huh? What, what?”

 Fai seemed a bit nervous even though he was excited for the outcome, and he enlightened Fuuma on the current situation.

 “Well you see, Syaoran-kun here doesn’t hold liquor well, so it always turns into a pretty funny situation”

 As he said this, Syaoran continued to drink the cup despite the warnings and shouting from Kurogane.

 “Idiot, don’t drink!”

 He continued on, and Fai blinked, certainly surprised.

 “Oh, my,” he said again, and his blue eyes watched as Syaoran finished his glass and proceeded to pour himself another round.

 “He served himself!” Fuuma said in a playful tone. The boy took the glass he had just poured and drank it all it one big gulp, much to the surprise of everyone around him.

 “Aaaah! He drank it in one go!” Mokona squealed.

 “This is going to turn into a VERY funny situation!” Fai said with a nervous laugh.

 “I told you to stop! Someone stop him!” Kurogane shouted, seeing as Syaoran wasn’t heeding his orders as he usually did. The boy took a deep breath after swallowing the contents of the glass, and he gave a gentle smile at Kurogane, who then sighed in defeat.

 “Don’t drink too much. You’ll get sick,” he said in a much softer tone than before, and Syaoran giggled a bit in response to this.

 “So this is what he’s like when he drinks?” Fuuma asked, watching him curiously. Fai nodded and took a sip of his own drink while Mokona danced happily on Syaoran’s head. The boy swayed a bit in the chair, his face flushed from drunkenness, but his smile could almost rival the sun in its brightness.

 “Do you want to play a game, Syaoran-kun?” Fai brought up suddenly. Kurogane did not take a liking to this idea, instantly sending glares in his direction. Fuuma and Mokona seemed to grow more excited.

 “Yes, yes!! Let’s play a game!” Mokona demanded.

 “A game? That could be fun,” Fuuma added.

 “What kind of scheme are you concocting, mage?” Kurogane asked with slight growl in his tone. Fai smiled innocently, but there was no denying that a hint of mischief was in his eyes.

 “Scheme? How mean Kuro-pu! I’m just trying to entertain our guest!”

 “I don’t believe you for a second!”

 Fai laughed, and Syaoran tilted his head curiously at him.

 “What kind of game?” he asked. The blond turned to him and smiled.

 “Well, I’m so glad you asked Syaoran-kun! It’s a game that Kuro-tan and I learned while we were in Yasha’s country! Though I didn’t really play much, since I couldn’t understand anyone…”

 “How did you communicate then? Was it like charades?” Mokona asked.

 “Cha…rades? What’s that? I mostly communicated with drawings. It was fun!”

 “So it was like Pictionary then!”

 “…Pictionary?”

 Kurogane had nearly forgotten about the six months that he and Fai had spent in the Yasha clan’s territory before the others made it to that same world. The silence from Fai had been so nice, though the magician always found ways to annoy him, even with the language barrier. But when he thought back to the game that was played while they were there, his eyes widened in horror.

 “No! Absolutely not! We’re not playing that!”

 Intrigued, Mokona asked for more information.

 “What game is it Fai?!” she said excitedly.

 “It’s a game called ‘Ou-sama’. All we’ll need are some chopsticks and…”

 He looked around, as if searching for something.

 “Fuuma-kun, do you have anything to write with by chance?”

 Fuuma reached into his bag, which was undoubtedly filled with incredibly rare items from his travels, and he tossed a pen in Fai’s direction. The blond cheered and took a few wooden chop sticks before promptly beginning to write what appeared to be little marks on them. The others watched curiously while Kurogane grumbled audibly. Fai then took the chopsticks with the marks on them and wrapped his hand around them so that they were covering the numbers.

 “Everybody pick a chopstick. If you pick the one with crown on it, that means you are the ‘Ou-sama’, and you get to make a command. The ones who are ordered must follow it, or they lose the game. After each round, we draw a number again. Since our writing systems are all different, I did markings instead of numbers on each chopstick. One mark means you’re number one, and so on. When you pick a number, don’t tell anyone what your number is, because the ‘Ou-sama’ will pick commands without knowing who corresponds with each number”

 Mokona bounced onto the table and twirled in her joy.

 “This is going to be fun!”

 Fuuma nodded in agreement, and Syaoran’s eyes lit up slightly in anticipation.

 “I think it’s a bad idea,” Kurogane stated, and Fai smiled at him.

 “But Kuro-pu, everyone has to participate!” Fai whined.

 “I WILL NOT!!” he shouted.

 Kurogane’s face was filled with rage until he felt a gentle tug at the shoulder area of his shirt. He looked down and saw Syaoran staring up at him with big, pleading amber eyes.

 “Kurogane-san…please play with us. It will be fun…”

 The man’s face instantly softened, his will shattered by the innocence in the boy’s expression. He had to play, if only to protect the boy in his inebriated state. After all, he saw what this game did to even the toughest of men in Yasha’s territory. Kurogane looked away with a sigh of defeat.

 “Fine…I’ll play…”

 There was an almost evil glint in Fai’s eyes when Kurogane agreed to play, but his smile never faded, even for a moment. Syaoran and Mokona seemed thrilled, and Fuuma was simply enjoying himself as the observer.

 “Everyone go ahead and pick a number then,” Fai said as he gently wrapped his hand around the chopsticks, his fingers concealing the numbers so that everyone would pick blindly.

 Each person reached forward and picked a stick, doing well to hide what number they had received. Fai grinned when he looked at his, and Kurogane felt as if he had swallowed his own heart.

 “It looks like I’m the ‘Ou-sama’ this round!”

 Kurogane pointed accusingly at Fai once the words were spoken, teeth bared.

 “You cheated, didn’t you?!”

 “If I had cheated, you would’ve surely noticed, Kuro-pon. You are a ninja after all…”

 “…Supposedly,” Mokona finished.

 “I AM A NINJA!!!”

 Fuuma laughed at the banter before emerging from his silent observance.

 “He did not cheat. I’m sure of it”

 “And why would I believe anything you say?”

 Kurogane grumbled under his breath before waiting for Fai to make a command. He seemed to be contemplating something, and that really only served to make him feel worse.

 “Number 3…I command you to sing your heart out for all of us to hear!”

 Everyone glanced down to their chopsticks to see who number 3 was, and Kurogane stared at his, as if it had somehow betrayed him. The others all glanced to him and noticed the 3 distinct markings on Kurogane’s chopstick. Syaoran’s eyes widened, and Mokona cheered.

 “Sing, sing, sing!!” Mokona cried.

 “NO WAY!!”

 “Awwwww, don’t say that, Kuro-tan. You have to do it, or you lose the game”

 “…Then so be it. I didn’t want to play anyways”

 “I thought ninjas were men of their word. I guess not, huh?”

 Kurogane looked as if he had been wounded by the words, and he sent a glare in Fuuma’s direction as the man nodded in agreement. Syaoran blinked, watching curiously to see what Kurogane would choose. He promised to play, so would he back out in the very first round?

 “…Fine….”

 Syaoran’s eyes lit up with anticipation as the man cleared his throat in preparation, but the voice that came out was so quiet, it was barely above a whisper.

 “Louder, Kuro-pu”

 Fai urged, and everyone around moved a little closer to get a better listen. A grunt came out, and his singing halted for a moment before he began to sing louder, his face showing both anger and embarrassment simultaneously.

 “Louder! Put your heart into it!” Mokona shouted.

 The singing that came from Kurogane almost sounded more like yelling now as his anger rose, but the melody wasn’t all bad beyond the rage. After singing a few lines, he stopped and turned his back to try and hide his shame. This, however, did not stop Syaoran from applauding.

 “You have a very nice voice, Kurogane-san! It was very passionate!”

 “…Huh?”

 Kurogane seemed surprised by the reaction, but it seemed to make him feel somewhat better, even if the kid was drunk and slightly impaired.

 “It was definitely passionate,” Fuuma said with a laugh, and just as quickly as Kurogane was brought back up, the moment seemed to vanish upon hearing the unwelcome guest speak.

 “Do you sing at all, Syaoran-kun?” Fai asked.

 Syaoran shook his head.

 “I can’t sing in front of people!”

 Mokona hopped up onto Syaoran’s shoulder.

 “I’d like to hear you sing someday!” Mokona said, and Fai nodded in agreement.

 “I’d also like to hear it”

 Syaoran smiled in response.

 “Someday then”

 Fai reached forward to gather the sticks, but just before he could, Kurogane saw to it himself.

 “I’ll hold them this time”

 Fai shrugged and let Kurogane take over, and he did a quick shuffle before holding them out as the magician had done before, making sure to conceal the numbers. Like the first round, everyone reached forward and grabbed a chopstick carefully as to not reveal their number. They all looked to each other, curious to see who had gotten the role of ‘Ou-sama’ this round.

 “Looks like it’s my turn,” Fuuma said.

 The group was very curious what sort of command Fuuma might give. After all, they didn’t really know him that well. From what they could tell, he seemed like a nice person, so long as you didn’t get in his way. Kurogane refused to like him at all, seeing as he was Seishirou’s brother. Fuuma cupped his chin a bit in thought as he tried to think of what command to give.

 “Am I allowed to command more than one person at a time?” he asked. Fai nodded.

 “You may command as many people as you like”

 “Hmm…all right then. Numbers 1 and 5, I command you to do your best impressions of each other”

 It was a fairly tame dare, and Syaoran lifted his chopstick to reveal the single marking on it, and the one who had number 5 was…

 “Hooray! Mokona is great at impressions! It’s one of my 108 secret techniques!”

 Syaoran smiled at Mokona before she hopped back onto the table.

 “You go first, Syaoran!”

 The boy seemed to agree to this and seemed to be mentally preparing himself. He closed his eyes tight, which caused some to wonder if he was in pain, before suddenly opening them as wide as he possibly could.

 “Mekyo!!”

 “…Eh?”

 Kurogane was utterly confused, but Fai found great amusement and could not contain his laughter. Mokona seemed thrilled and did a little twirl of appreciation.

 “That was very good, Syaoran-kun!” Fai complimented.

 Syaoran rubbed a bit at his eyes from the slight discomfort of having them opened so unnaturally.

 “Mokona, it’s your turn!” Fai mentioned, still snickering.

 Mokona stood in the center of the table and took a deep breath before making a very serious face, trying to capture Syaoran’s likeness.

 “Raitei Shourai!” she shouted, and her little nub of a hand extended out, as if to shoot out magic.

 There was a long pause of silence after her shout, but she remained in a heroic pose nonetheless. Kurogane was about to comment before, much to everyone’s surprise, a bolt of lightning shot from Mokona’s hand and struck the roof of their little temporary home. It wasn’t a big bolt, but it was certainly loud, and a few shingles fell off the roof in a dramatic crash. Fuuma adjusted his glasses, as if he had seen things wrong, and Kurogane’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

 “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!!!”

 The ninja stood up, grabbing Mokona by her head and poking her stomach.

 “WHAT…WHERE DID IT…HOW?!!!”

 “Mokona doesn’t like being poked like that!”

 The little creature struggled in Kurogane’s grip, and the man hardly noticed as Syaoran stood up from his seat and began to climb up the beams of the house to inspect where the lightning had struck close up.

 “That was amazing, Mokona! It really was lightning. I can still feel the heat coming off of where it struck!”

 The boy was in awe, and Fai was clapping animatedly.

 “Well done, Mokona!”

 Kurogane released Mokona finally, but not without questions.

 “Why did you tell us you could do something like that?!”

 “You never asked. Besides, Mokona’s 108 secret techniques are secret!”

 “108…you have 108 abilities?”

 “Yep!”

 “…You…the hunter’s brother…hand me the sake bottle. I think I need another drink”

 Fuuma handed over the container of sake politely and watched as Kurogane poured himself a glass and began to sip. Fai glanced back to Syaoran, who started to stand on the rooftop, but his balance seemed a little wobbly. Undoubtedly, the standing had gotten his blood flowing, and the drunkenness was truly beginning to hit him. The boy fell forward off the ledge of the roof, and Fai and Mokona both cried out in worry. Fortunately, the boy still landed on his feet, seemingly unharmed. Apparently even when drunk, the boy was still quite light on his feet. Syaoran blinked up at everyone, his face flushed from his drunkenness. Kurogane sighed and gently tapped his forehead with a closed fist when he came back to the table. It was the only way he knew how to lecture the boy, really.

 “Don’t go doing reckless things like that, kid. You’re still recovering from your wounds, you know…”

 The boy giggled and almost didn’t even seem to hear the man. But he did seem oddly focused on the top of Kurogane’s head.

 “Kurogane-san…when did you get cat ears?”

 Kurogane glared in Fuuma’s direction, as if he were to blame for everything.

 “This is why we don’t let him drink the strong sake…”

 Fuuma shrugged, not seeming particularly guilty as Syaoran took his seat again. He swayed a bit in his chair, eyes a bit glazed over, but he was smiling nonetheless. Fai stood up and moved to examine him for a moment, cupping his face in a motherly way.

 “Are you doing all right, Syaoran-kun? Do you still want to play?”

 He nodded into Fai’s hands, and the magician smiled, patting the boy’s head before moving back to his seat.

 “All right then. On to the next round!”

 This time Syaoran held the chopsticks, and everyone made their choices once again. And the ‘Ou-sama’ was…

 “Hooray! Mokona wins!”

 Mokona bounced around the table, showing off her prize.

 “Let’s see…Mokona commands…”

 The group waited with baited breath.

 “Number 4, take one of the pens and write something really embarrassing on your own body. It has to be visible at all times”

 Fuuma laughed, revealing his chopstick with the four slashes.

 “Looks like that’s me. All right then”

 The treasure hunter took one of the pens from his bag and started to scribble something on his hand. The group stared at the writing, trying to read it, but alas, no one could read the language that Fuuma had written in. Well, all except Syaoran it seemed, and his eyes were widened in horror. This did not go unnoticed by Fai, and his lips curled into a grin as inquisitiveness struck him.

 “What does it say, Syaoran-kun?”

 The boy’s face flushed bright red and he shook his head.

 “I won’t say”

 Fuuma simply smiled, putting the pen away. Mokona pouted a bit.

 “Ah, Mokona forgot that everyone here writes in different languages. Oops”

 Kurogane would have argued and questioned whether Fuuma actually carried out the dare, but seeing Syaoran’s face and how the boy could barely even make eye contact with him now, it seemed he had done quite enough. The ninja wasn’t sure he wanted to know anyways.

 There seemed to be a bit of a rotation going on with who held the chopsticks each round, so this time, it was Fuuma who got to hold them. Everyone took a number, and the ‘Ou-sama’ was…

 “Finally,” Kurogane grinned and revealed his winning draw.

 “Oooh. What is your command, Kuro-sama?” Fai asked curiously.

 The man stood up from his seat and left the table for a moment to everyone’s bewilderment, and soon returned with a bowl of nukazuke. Fai shook his head rapidly. He already knew where the man was going with this.

 “Everyone will eat at least one of these pickles”

 “You’re so cruuuueeel, Kuro-rin! They’re too sour! I can’t eat those!”

 Kurogane grabbed a pair of unused chopsticks and popped one of the vegetables into his mouth, crunching and talking at the same time.  

 “If you don’t do it, you lose,” Kurogane stated.

 The ninja passed the chopsticks around, and everyone one by one ate one of the pickles, seeming to enjoy it. Fai, however, appeared to be dreading each moment as his turn drew closer and closer. Kurogane held the chopsticks out to him with the pickle slice pinched between, waiting for him to eat it.  

 “You can do it, Fai-san!” Syaoran cheered.

 The magician closed his eyes before leaning forward and biting into the vegetable, and after swallowing it as quickly as he could, he shuddered and reached for a glass of water, downing it in one go. He wriggled around in his chair at the taste that would not seem to leave him, and it almost appeared as if tears were burning in his eyes.

 “It’s so sooouuurrrrr!!” Fai cried.

 Mokona jumped up onto his shoulder and patted the side of his head.

 “You did really well, Fai. It’s all over now”

 Kurogane scoffed.

 “It’s just a pickle. You’ll survive”

 “That was the meanest thing you’ve ever done to me, Kuro-tan…”

 “…Really?”

 Fuuma laughed at Fai’s melodramatic behavior before gathering the chopsticks with the markings and holding them out to Mokona.

 “It’s your turn, little one”

 “Okay!”

 Mokona bounced back down and wrapped her little body around the markings as much as she could as selected picked a number. This time, it was Syaoran who won the draw. Everyone was curious what command Syaoran would give, especially in his inebriated state. The boy pondered for a moment before finally speaking. Kurogane began to take a sip of his sake as he delivered his command.

 “I command number 3 to walk number 4 down the street by a leash. Number 4 must also walk on their hands and knees,” Syaoran commanded.

 Kurogane spit out his drink and frowned when he revealed that he was number 4, the one who would be walked with a leash around his neck. He only hoped that number 3 wasn’t…

 “Hooray! Kuro-pon, let’s get some rope!” Fai cheered, showing off his chopstick with three defined markings.

 “This is the worst possible situation…” Kurogane muttered under his breath, his hand covering his face in horror.

 Fuuma and Mokona looked to Syaoran with a hint of surprise in their features.

 “Syaoran really is a fun drunk!” Mokona stated cheerfully. Fuuma nodded in agreement.

 Fai moved to gather something to substitute as a leash while Kurogane looked as if he wanted to simply melt into his chair and disappear. When Fai returned, rope in hand, he patted the man’s back, urging him to stand.

 “Let’s go, Big doggy,” Fai whispered into his ear.

 He hadn’t been called that since they were in Outo, and it still gave him the same feeling now as it did back then. The ninja growled in response, and just when he thought about backing out in order to spare himself the humiliation, he glanced over at Syaoran, whose eyes were once again sparkling with anticipation. Damn the kid and those innocent eyes of his!

 Kurogane stood, very much having to drag himself out of the chair, and Fai reached up to put the loop he had tied loosely around his neck. Once it was secure, Fai gently tugged on it to pull him forward. Kurogane, very much filled with shame in this moment, lowered to his hands and knees, and the moment he did, Syaoran burst into laughter, holding his stomach as he did.

 Everyone fixed their eyes on him, never having heard him laugh like that before. Sure, he chuckled every once in a while, but hearing him laugh so energetically was…refreshing. The group smiled and Mokona moved to stand in front of Syaoran on the table. Although the boy seemed happy on the outside, Mokona, being the empath she was, sensed some sort of tension within the boy; like something was about to break, and she had a feeling she knew what it was.

 “Syaoran…this is fun, isn’t it? I bet you wish both Sakura’s and ‘Syaoran’ were here with us, don’t you?”

 Fai, Kurogane, and Fuuma watched for Syaoran’s response, and the boy continued to laugh before tears began to stream uncontrollably down his face. Fai and Kurogane gasped and frowned as Syaoran brought his hands to his face to hide the tears. It was certainly an unexpected reaction, but Mokona was quick to hop onto his shoulder and gently stroke his hair with her little hand.

 “It’s okay. You’re not alone, Syaoran. We’re all here for you,” she comforted.

 Syaoran nodded, his hands still covering his face, and his teeth were clenched from the wave of emotional pain he was currently feeling.

 “He’s had too much to drink. It’s time for bed now,” Kurogane suggested.

 This time, Fai nodded in agreement, and he moved to the boy, gently helping him stand and steering him in the direction of the house. Kurogane watched as they walked away, and Fuuma looked to the ninja with a smile.

 “You’re a lot kinder than you seem. I’m sure Syaoran-kun sees you like a father,” Fuuma said.

 Kurogane shook his head in denial.

 “He already has a father. And that might be the problem”

 “Eh? Why is that?”

 “The kid fights hard for what he wants, but it’s frustrating when you work that hard and still never get what you want”

 “And what do you think he wants?”

 Kurogane took a seat at the table and poured himself another glass of sake.

 “He wants his family back”

 Inside the house, Fai assisted Syaoran in lying down on the bed. He inspected his bandages to make sure his wounds were not bleeding through, and everything seemed to be in order. The worst part of the crying seemed to pass, and now the boy was simply staring into space with puffy red eyes and his cheeks slightly damp. Fai stroked his hair and smiled down at him as he sat on knees beside the futon.

 “Do you need to cry any more, Syaoran-kun? No one will think any less of you, you know…”

 Syaoran shook his head.

 “No…I’ve already cried enough. I’m sorry…I cut the game short and made everyone uncomfortable”

 Fai shook his head this time, his smile still remaining and the gentleness of it washing over Syaoran.

 “You did nothing wrong. You’ve been through a lot. Certainly enough to warrant tears once in a while. I’d be more worried if you didn’t cry and just held everything in”

 Mokona snuggled up against Syaoran on the futon.

 “Fai’s right. Mokona could feel you keeping everything inside. You were so sad…”

 The boy’s eyes widened, surprised to say the least.

 “You can talk about it if you want,” Fai said.

 Syaoran wanted to object at first, but he knew better than to try and hide anything from them. After all, like Fuuma had said before, the distance had been reduced, and they had been through enough that there was no reason to hide anything.

 “I…miss Sakura…and mother and father. Kimihiro too…”

 Fai hummed a bit in acknowledgement.

 “That makes sense. We all understand how you wish for everyone to be together again”

 The boy stared silently at the ceiling for a moment, contemplating his next words.

 “I saw ‘Syaoran’…in the Utaki...”

 Fai and Mokona looked to him, keeping quiet as to let him continue speaking.

 “To use the power of ‘Seji’, the Utaki told me I had to…erase ‘Syaoran’ from existence. But I couldn’t do it…’Syaoran’ believed in me and told me it was all right…that he wouldn’t judge me for acting on what I believed in, but I couldn’t do it…I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing him again…”

 Syaoran’s voice held more pain the further he got, and Mokona’s eyes burned with tears as she felt the wave of his emotions.

 “How horrible…” she stated.

 “…And because of me, only half of the people in the inner Nirai Kanai were saved. I don’t even know if I managed to save that girl…”

 Fai shook his head as if to stop him and touched his shoulder comfortingly.

 “Syaoran-kun…without you, everything would have been lost. This world would have been taken in by the world of the dead. You did nothing wrong”

 The boy looked to him with sad amber eyes.

 “But I could’ve saved everyone had I not been so selfish. The Utaki said I had to defeat ‘Syaoran’ and prove I was without selfishness in my intentions. Then, I could use the power…”

 Fai tilted his head.

 “So you’re concerned that your decision was selfish?”

 Syaoran sighed.

 “I’ve always been selfish. Whenever I wanted something, I kept pushing forward without thinking about the consequences of my actions. Same with when I chose to turn back time…I broke the laws of the universe almost irreparably, and I’m still paying the price for it. But I haven’t really learned, have I? I nearly cost us everything…”

 “So?” Fai said.

 Syaoran blinked at this response.

 “There are many who believe in you and the choices you make, no matter how they seem to others. Kuro-pu, Mokona, Sakura-chan, Watanuki-kun, and ‘Syaoran’…we all believe in you and know you will make the right choices, because you have a strong heart. You are a good person Syaoran-kun, and the fact that you feel the way you do right now makes you human”

 The boy stared at him for a long moment, thinking hard about what to say next.

 “Do you think I am selfish for wanting to bring back ‘Syaoran’?”

 Fai shook his head.

 “I don’t, but even if I did, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You must do what your heart tells you to do. That is the only sure way to find happiness”

 Syaoran slowly nodded, his eyelids feeling much heavier than before. Fai brought his hand to rest over Syaoran’s eyes and spoke softly, almost like a lullaby.

 “Go to sleep now. Tomorrow’s a new day, and we’ll all still be here by your side,” the magician said.

 When he removed his hand, the boy’s eyes had closed and he had already drifted off to sleep. Mokona snuggled up beside him and followed suit shortly after, and when they were both fast asleep, Fai made his way back outside to Kurogane and Fuuma. He took a seat at the table and poured himself a glass of sake.

 “How is Syaoran-kun?” Fuuma asked.

 Fai smiled and took a sip from his glass.

 “He’s asleep now and will be just fine”

 Kurogane seemed relieved, but he was trying to conceal that fact. After all, he couldn’t let anyone know he was actually worried. His crimson eyes glanced to the container that held his new arm.

 “Now that our reason for staying here has arrived, we should move on to the next world…”

 Kurogane seemed eager to move on, even if this place was peaceful as could be.

 “Let’s stay just a bit longer, Kuro-tan…”

 “Eh? Why?”

 “Well, we should let Syaoran’s wounds heal properly. The ones in his heart too need some time,” Fai said softly before taking another sip of his drink.

 Kurogane’s lips formed into a tight line, but appeared to be in agreement.

 “Just a bit longer, but eventually we have to keep moving forward”

 Fai nodded, gazing up to the stars in the sky.

 “We will. But it’s all right stop and look at the stars once in a while”

 Fuuma rose his glass up.

 “I’ll drink to that,” he said, and Fai clinked his glass together with Fuuma’s.

 Fai then clapped his hands together as if an idea had come to mind.

 “Now that the children are asleep, the adults can have misbehave a little bit!”

 Fuuma laughed, and Fai reached into his pocket to pull out the small pouch of money he had won earlier from Kurogane.

 “Want to try and win the money back, Kuro-sama?”

 The ninja grinned at the proposition.

 “You’re on, mage,” he said with conviction.

 Fuuma adjusted his glasses, seeming intrigued.

 “May I play too?” he asked.

 “Of course!”

 The three men began to play gambling games, drank to their heart’s content, and enjoyed the stars above them. At least in every world, there would be stars to watch over them and brighten even the darkest of nights.

 THE END

[my-mystic-messenger]

5+1 things  - Saeran falls in love

This is so freaking cute and again I had to think of Kotoko and Naoki from Itazura na Kiss – best romance anime ever made, fight me – so I got really motivated to write this! Here ya go and I hope you enjoy! 

Fandom: Mystic Messenger Rating: General Warnings: None Categories: F/M Relationships: MC x Saeran Word count: 1874

One:

Saeran sat on the bed in his room where he'd been hiding from his overenthusiastic brother for the past week when suddenly there was a knock on the door. He didn't reply, which was usually enough for a clue for his brother to realize he didn't want to be bothered. Not this time, apparently, as the door swung open almost immediately after. 

“Hey Saeran, look what I bought”, Min announced cheerfully, holding up a jar of what looked like those disgusting little candy hearts people liked to throw around on Valentines Day. Saeran rolled his eyes. Not that Min noticed any of that...or cared to notice. Instead she towered before him, opening the jar and holding one out to him.

Saeran looked from the pale blue little heart dangling before his mouth up to meet the girls eyes. She was beaming, patiently holding out the candy for him. Saeran looked back at the candy when suddenly Min moved closer, close enough for the candy to brush over his lips. Saeran closed his eyes, begging some kind of entity for strength.

“Come on, sugar makes happy”, Min said cheerfully after another minute of Saeran refusing to open his mouth. This was a game of patience and while Saeran was intent on winning, her pleading and hopeful eyes got the better of him. Begrudgingly he opened his mouth, letting Min put the candy on the tip of his tongue with a chuckle.

An hour later he sat on his bed – alone once more – with the jar between his folded legs. Saeran stared at the blank wall, eating one candy heart after another and questioning what kind of life choices he'd made that got him here. Whatever, they didn't taste half bad and at least he'd gotten rid of Min after ten more minutes of being hand fed...

Two:

Saeran had just lain down on the couch, enjoying the freedom of having the condo to himself with Saeyoung being out on some sort of grocery run when the door was practically slammed open. His eyes flew open and Saeran froze at the loud, surprising bang only to groan when he heard Min's familiar screech of excitement.

He didn't up to reveal himself, instead covering his eyes in annoyance as he listened to her shout out to Saeyoung, running from room to room in order to find him. Without success, of course, as he wasn't there. “He's out”, Saeran eventually barked back angrily, having had enough of her loud commotion. He should have known better.

Min ran towards the couch, looking over to find Saeran glaring back up at her. Not that it stopped her from grinning right back, holding out what he thought to be a DVD. Sadly, it wasn't a DVD per se. Oh no, it was some sort of tutorial thing that taught you how to dance like your favourite idols from a variety of bands, it seemed.

Min had pre-ordered said tutorial thing with Saeyoung a while ago – apparently those two idiots had been very excited about its arrival – and it had finally been released to the public. Eager to start their dance sessions she'd come run over but Saeyoung wasn't there to dance along and it was so boring to do it alone so...

Saeran once more finds himself questioning his life choices as he stands in front of the TV with Min by his side, dancing along to some idol. She's smiling from ear to ear, keeping up surprisingly well. Saeran hates her for roping him into this, but at least he can now say he knows how to dance like the guys from BTS or something. 

Three:

It was monthly movie night, his brothers dumb idea to get them together and ~bonding~ and because at this point Min was considered family she was not only invited, but it was her turn to pick the movie. Saeran generally didn't care what was on the TV anyway, he clocked out 5 minutes in, but Min had a way of picking the worst. 

Min didn't disappoint, as she managed to pic the most predictable movie she could have; Frozen. Not only was a princess Disney movie, meaning the last thing Saeran wanted to be subjected to for one and a half hours, but she also picked the blandest ones at that! Couldn't it have been Aladdin or Mulan? Those at leas have some violence! Saeran tried to block the movie out and fall asleep on multiple occasions, but Frozen just wouldn't allow it. Every single time he somehow managed to tone it out, a new song popped up and Min and his brother began to sing at the top of their lungs. The fact that Saeyoung knew all the words to every song was sincerely unsettling to Saeran. By the time the legendary 'Let It Go' came around, Saeran was forced to sing along. His brother insisted that the song was catchy and singing was good for the soul and when Saeran tried to talk himself out of it, arguing that he didn't know the words, Min was quit to whip out the remote and turn on the CC. Damn them both. By the end of the movie Saeyoung busied himself cleaning up after the three of them while Min turned to Saeran. She looked so hopeful when she asked him whether he'd liked the movie or not and asshole or not, those eyes just broke his resolve every time. His frown evened out and he smiled. “It wasn't half bad”, he settled on, surprised to find it being the truth.

Four:

It was a shitty day for Saeran. From the moment he opened his eyes that morning he knew it wouldn't be a good day and sadly, he wasn't proven wrong. It wasn't like anyone had wronged him. In fact, Saeyoung even made breakfast for him, but Saeran was irritated and lifeless at the same time. Naturally, he looked for a fight. Saeyoung didn't oblige though, probably luckily so. In fact, instead of being the overbearing brother he usually was he took the safe route and gave Saeran the distance he needed for the time being. After a couple of hours of being alone Saeran started to calm, to some extend, until once more Min unexpectedly entered the scene. He tried to provoke her, fight her, insult her, but Min just never reacted the way he wanted her to. She remained calm and collected, no matter what Saeran threw at her head, whatever cruel words he used. After about half an hour he started to calm, words ebbing into a strained silence. That's when Min stepped forward and pulled Saeran into a tight hug. He didn't dight her, merely sagging into her arms in defeat. He found himself seated on the couch, wrapped in a blanket with her feet in his lap and chocolate chip ice cream in his hand. Min filled the silence with her cheerful blabbering, gesturing along to her words as she told one story after another, not forcing Saeran to talk at all. As Saeran sinks further into the couch, humming around another delicious spoon full of ice cream he realizes that he's actually comfortable. Even with Min's endless mostly mindless chatter he feels more at easy than he has in a long time. The fact that maybe exactly that mostly mindless chatter is precisely the reason for his comfort is strictly ignored.

Five:

It's monthly movie night again, but this time Saeran gets to pick the movie. Which obviously results in being one of the goriest horror movies he could find available, after being subjected to Frozen and Toy Story the last two months. Saeyoung and Min try to object, but rules are rules and they end up on the couch, shivering before the movie even really begins. Saeyoung seems to handle it relatively fine, although it's obvious he doesn't enjoy his brothers choice of movie either. Still, Saeran is sure his twin has seen worse, so he'll manage a damn movie. Min, on the other hand, isn't holding up too well. Other than shivering she finches and screams a lot, hiding her face in her hands more than once. Saeran is able to ignore her fidgeting and squealing for the most part until the point he's suddenly turned into a human muffler. Instead of hiding her face the pillow resting in her lap or her own hands like previously, Min decides that Saeran's shoulder is apparently accessed much easier, wrapping her arms around his neck in the process. He stiffens a couple of times at first, but eventually Saeran comes to expect it, although he refuses to wrap an arm around her in comfort. That is until Min suddenly stops moving and her breath evens out surprisingly. Upon looking down Saeran realizes that the girl fell asleep on his shoulder, peacefully oblivious to the movie and everything else. The movie ends and Saeyoung once more excuses himself to clean and then to go to sleep himself. Saeran stays, listening to the even breath and wondering how he got himself in this situation. He still carefully reaches around Min to pull the blanket over her. He also doesn't move up, afraid he'll wake her, but no one needs to know that.

+One:

Saeran realizing his feelings for Min hits him like a ton of bricks, really. The girl somehow managed to lure him out of the condo and onto the streets of Korea where they'd spent the last two hours walking around some sort of festival. It was then that Saeran first started to notice these small things Min did, his body reacted strangely to. Like when a man twice if not three times her size almost ran her over and yet she apologized to him, smiling despite him huffing an insult and marching off. Or when a kid ran into her and accidentally dropped his ice cream and she not only helped him up and apologized, but also offered to buy him a new one to make up for it. However, it really hit him when he noticed that there was a stand that sold beautiful and extravagant fans that apparently caught her interest. Saeran could tell that she wanted to buy one of them and if he'd calculated right, she would have just about enough money left to buy one of them and maybe something to eat. She didn't. Min didn't buy the fan, because she saw a group of kids sitting all by themselves, looking somewhat lost and sad. So Saeran watched her spent all her money and tiny toys and drums as well as a bunch of sweets and march over there with the brightest of smiles. He watched her hand them out to the kids, causing them to beam. She even managed to teach them a song or two on the tiny drums and flutes she's gotten, dancing with the children and playing with them, no care in the world it seemed. It was then that Saeran realized he loved Min with all his heart. “Shit, I have to protect this childish, beautiful, kind, dumbass...”, he whispered to himself before running over and joining in on the fun.

[dearmysan]

Wooyoung’s Notes.

Here’s only the smallest collection of all the things I have noted along our journey so far. Enjoy reading them, I’m sure there was some I have missed out on, but there definitely will be more to add along the way!  ↷ San often gets shy when it comes to me. He says it’s because what he’s had with me was unlike anything he’s had with anyone before. I get what he means by that, as I also can’t help but to feel shy when I’m around him. What we have is really different and special to me.  ↷ He’s into Overwatch as much as I am, probably even more! Recently he has found out how much of a god he was at Hanzo. He says his favorite player is Jjonak and he often goes to a lot of games. I hope to go with him one day.  ↷ We played Overwatch together with a few of his close friends. I had a lot of fun! But there was one time where we met, I kind of panicked and killed him. It made him sad but not as sad as I was. It’s okay though because in return, he shot me right in the head. hM.  ↷ I asked San if I could kiss him, and he said he wouldn’t ever push me away, He probably doesn’t know this but he is the most precious person to me, hence it took me awhile. I did it though, I kissed him and he kissed me back, now I’m afraid I may have an addiction.  ↷ I always tell San how much I like him, so instead, I tried something different and I told him I loved him. He told me he loved me and though our intellectual sides were screaming, it’s really a day I don’t think I’d ever forget.  ↷ I was busy one week, and in the end, I couldn’t spend as much time as I wanted to with him. I really miss him.  ↷ IF SAN’S DIMPLES AREN’T THE CUTEST SHIT EVER WTFF. And can I just say, nice, nice jawline. What a pretty neck he has too. He’s just pretty in general, we may have a problem, I love him too much. ↷ Warning! San has found ways to tease me and make me jealous in return. Maybe I should cool down my teasing, maybe he’ll have some mercy on me.  ↷ He had a dream about Yunho and Hongjoong, I sure hope that we meet in our dreams instead. But then again, he called me his dream come true and that just made me the softest shit ever.  ↷ After our first time, I was surprised to learn about one of his risky kinks, I’m definitely putting it on my list of things to try with him though, how exciting! ↷ He’s so cute when he’s drunk. He literally sent me a whole spam of gifs that were all like, “I love you” & “I miss you.” It was the most precious thing ever.  ↷ Since I first met San, there hasn’t been a day without spams of himself. I love seeing his cute face everywhere so I never mind though. It really reminds me that I need to get my lazy ass off to give him a spam as well.  ↷ He’s so competitive and I can tell he get’s sad when people stop playing games with him. I hope everyone continues to play games with him even if he is always victorious!  ↷ I took him on our first date. We had pizza and a ton of beer, we even played 20 questions and though we’re not currently done, I hope to continue soon as I still have many things to learn about him. ↷ We’re going on our first Vacation together, just me and him, alone. We’re travelling to the Maldive Islands. Though I’m sure it’d be beautiful, I don’t think it’d beat his beauty.  ↷ San’s so honest. He’s probably the most down to earth person that I’d ever come across. He’s too sweet for his own good. I’ll protect him, no matter what it takes! I hope the greatest people come his way, always. A good person deserves good things, I hope only the best things come his way from now on. ↷ San gets easily stressed when things aren’t organized. Sadly, I hate how I can’t do much, I can only be here for him at the end of the day when he is done. San should take his medications with him always though, I want him to be safe and I want him to always feel content. He’s a really strong person and I admire him for that. ↷ He really has endless love for the people around him. ↷ He says he’s not a fighter, yet when it came to me, he couldn’t let go. I still find that so cute.  ↷ San asked me to be officially his, he even blushed and boom, there went my heart again. The answer was too obvious though, of course I’d say yes. ↷ Our vacation was short lived, but extremely fun! We had a nice dinner and he even threw himself into the water. I hope we get to go again, this time, I’d like to take him somewhere nice. Also, we forgot Shiber, poor baby. ↷ So like, San asked me if it’d be alright for him to temporary cc to a girl. He’s so goofy, of course I’d be more than alright with that. Whoever he may be in the world, he’ll always be my one and only. As long as it’s him and no one else, I’d be absolutely content.  ↷ I had one of my firsts rabbit sessions with San a week or two ago. I don’t remember how far back it was because at this point, we’ve had so much sessions! We watch scary videos, scary mazes and even disney things! I felt like I was there right beside him. It made me so happy to see him so excited over the things he likes. ↷ So, San put on a scary game play in the middle of the night when I was preparing to go to sleep. I couldn’t do it...and I left. I’m still sorry about it. Also, he couldn’t exit out of the video after I left and we started talking about how we’re cursed. ICB. ↷ Noted. San loves heavy metal. He’s also calls himself a nerd because he loves Star Wars and Lord of The Rings. So precious, I want to share his love for all the things he likes so, it’s definitely on my list to do so. ↷ Perhaps, does San love Winnie The Pooh more than me? I’m shaking.  ↷ I’m shaking again because my little boy is growing so fast. Don’t tell me he’s going to get taller and taller and taller.  ↷ We finally got a place to ourselves! It’s on the outskirt of town and it’s quite a beautiful little home. We still need to incorporate a lot of Mickey Mouse decorations in our home though, we specifically talked about the kitchen! I hope to get to that soon.  ↷ I’ve been desperate to get tall so, I did it, I am currently Yunho. I think San likes it though. Now he can curl up in my chest all he’d like! May I also add that I am a fan of my blue hair. ↷ I’m starting to think he doesn’t realize how beautiful of a person he is. I’m dyiiiiiiing.  ↷ Okay so, he had a dream about Han and I got mad. Then he had a dream about Han again but this time I was there to pull him away. He said it made him laugh, and it honestly made me super happy yet embarrassed! ↷ It’s his birthday today! I’m celebrating it with him for the first time. I couldn’t prepare much but I hope he enjoys his time today anyways. He deserves so much. Also, I shall add that we also reached our first month together as companions!  ↷ Though my baby is a daredevil, he isn’t good with drop rides. I definitely have to protect him when it comes to those! ↷ San brought home a kitty! We decided to keep the baby and call the kitty Simba, our very own baby! ↷ Over the time span that we’ve been together, San has gone from Soojin to Solar to Yeeun and back to himself multiple times. I have even more fond memories of these people now. May I also say that he was beautiful every single time.  ↷ So like, we went to the mall together. I bought a few suits and San/Yeeun wore the prettiest skirt. What happened after that was quite exciting. We even had a session in the car afterwards. I hope we have many more opportunity to share those exciting and rebellious times together,  ↷ I finally got to watch San play some horror games. It honestly wasn’t as scary as I initially thought it was going to be so I’m quite glad. Not going to lie though, I closed my eyes a few time and sat pretty far from the screen. He’s so brave compared to me.  ↷  We finished Pokemon XY & Z. I still remember when we first started. Man have I grown so attached to all the characters. I am real excited to fall in love all over again with the new cast of the Sun & Moon series we are watching. My baby even got us a netflix to try out so we could finish Lord of The Rings as well, especially after rabbit died off and made me real sad.  ↷ A car trip came to mind with San. It sounds absolutely perfect and I can’t wait to set out on that adventure. It’s like we share the same idea of many dates and I find it absolutely adorable. I have somewhere I want to take him. ↷ San had started talking about Jeno ever since that Boom comeback. Something about an attractive undercut and headband. I’m kind of real jealous but it’s okay, I’m learning how to live with it. Pft.  ↷ We played so much dating doors, it’s so fun to see how our choices differ and how they are yet so similar. I really didn’t want to play the NCT because of you know who but it’s alright, I had a great time anyways.  ↷ My baby called me dramatic...a lot of things started making sense after that. I am indeed a over dramatic person.  ↷ San has started work again. I really hope he learns how to take better care of himself. I don’t like seeing him in pain. Before when we were just friends, I know he had a lot of stress and it brought upon chest pains. Now San’s back is often sore as well. I just hope my baby is okay after an exhausting day. I believe that he’ll always do his very best. I just hope he doesn’t push himself to hard.  ↷ I have started school. Not going to lie, I’m very upset about the fact that my time with him has been cut off shorter, like I’m super upset. I hope he knows how important he is to me and I hope to keep him by my side, always.  ↷ I miss him, all the time.  ↷ San is really my source of strength. He keeps me motivated and really pushes me to make good decisions. He says he doesn’t know how to offer words of encouragement but little does he understand that just his mere presence is enough to keep my spirits up.  ↷ We betrayed each other in a game and I was really sad. Reminded me of that old overwatch days where we killed each other. I never want to go against him again, it’ll break my poor baby’s heart and my own. ↷  San seemed to really enjoy his Loki self. I got Nick Wilde, oh yeah! ↷ I believe we are exchanging gifts this year and I’m real excited for it. I’ll work hard so I can buy him meaningful gifts.  ↷ There’s something I want to do, but I’ll keep it to myself until we have time.

[media2k16]

Reflection on the Client Commission

Creating a BuzzFeed snap story was definitely one of the hardest projects I have had to direct so far. Because it was such a new idea, I didn’t know where to start at first. However, I am generally happy with our group’s final project, and quite satisfied with my learning.

I will separate my learning into three parts: graphics, filming, and the last section on a general ‘my understanding of how the media works’.

My reflections tend to be long and digressive so I will try to keep this one clean and short, focusing mostly on what I have learnt in the 3 different areas and mentionings of what I did. 

On Graphics and Applications

Throughout the project, we had to create 16 graphics, kind of like 16 powerpoint slides. I created a total of 4 pictures using illustrator and 3 that were article covers. Article covers are generally quite easy to make: you have a title, and you get a photo from off the internet (which I referenced) and stick it underneath. It is the graphics I made using illustrator where the real learning happened. 

I have developed an appreciation for quality graphics. It is so hard to make something look clean and composed on a computer, especially when you’re using a desktop and not a tablet. I didn’t want my graphics to look jagged and digital (for example, the font), I didn’t want to simply rip fonts and images off the internet, and, well, I wanted it to be my graphic that I made myself.

So I developed a technique. One that is popularly used by other artists. I had recently gotten good at calligraphy, so I drew my text out onto paper, took a photo of it in good lighting (so there were no shadows and white and black was clearly separated), then made a vector of it online. I then copied this photo into illustrator, made it into something I could move around, and separated the background from the foreground. I was left with a clear piece of text to use, and this was how I made the fonts for all my graphics. For the images, the “Radiate Love” photo is done in the same way as the font, and the “You’re The Goat” graphic is done using tools on illustrator. I am quite proud of these two graphics, and throughout the unit, I feel that my illustrator skills have improved greatly, which would be very useful for school events in the future which might need simple graphic design. 

Another application that I used was XD CC by Adobe, which allowed me to put the story together so it looked like a BuzzFeed story, instead of just a bunch of graphics. It was very easy to use, and the visual outcome was very useful and made the project seem more complete (I can even make a simple tutorial for the media department if this would come in handy!)

XD CC basically lets you lay out all the graphics that are created, and transition in several different ways by connecting the graphics. I am glad I learned how to use XD CC because it can allow me to accurately depict my ideas for apps, stories, etc. in the future. 

On Articles

I feel that it is worth briefly mentioning the articles and graphics I made and why I made them. 

The first is the Goat one. I took inspiration from a friend (Sam) who yelled it out at someone (maybe a teacher, I can’t remember). He called the teacher a goat, and the teacher looked back at him in confusion. He added “God Of All Time”, and I thought it was the funniest thing. 

The second is the Autumn article. Autumn has always been my favourite season, and I wanted to create an article that viewers would relate to. Admittedly, it is not the most creative article, but I feel that a dose of remembering the little things that are good in life is always beneficial. 

The third is the two graphics that say “tap here” (red and blue). It could have been made more interactive (e.g. a picture of a house that says “tap the roof”), but I wanted to make it simple so viewers would kind of get the point. On Snapchat, when you tap on the right side of the screen, you move forward a slide. When you tap the left side of the screen, you go back a slide. The idea was to have viewers going back and forth between the two graphics until they realized it was a trick. I found this to be kind of amusing myself: I first saw the idea on my sisters' story and it took a couple tries until I realized it was the same two photos. 

The fourth is the feminist article. I wanted to incorporate a political element into the story because I wanted to relate our last unit to our current one. BuzzFeed has always been a right-wing platform, and this was confirmed by Maggie during the client interview. I feel that feminism is a commonly misunderstood word many think mean “Women are better than men”, and I wanted to clarify its true meaning in an interactive way (with gifs) that would grip viewers. It is a very short article, but I believe it has a good reach because of this. 

The fifth is the breast cancer article. October is breast cancer month, so this article has a tone of immediacy to it. As the BuzzFeed story gets a lot of views per day, I wanted to spread a good message of the small ways one can make a difference. 

The sixth is the radiate love graphic. I thought this would be something cute to put at the end of the story as a thought that viewers could take with them. It was really fun to use my calligraphy skills and, as mentioned before, experiment with illustrator and improve my skills in that area too. 

On Filming “Streaks”:

I was very proud of the efficiency of filming “Streaks”. We were able to finish it in one day. I believe that previous experiences of filming, especially for last year’s horror movie, contributed to this efficiency.

By the day, I made sure everyone knew exactly what they were doing. I would go through the shots with Sophie, make sure sound was working with Nicholas, and Tim came up with the idea of noting down which shots and sounds were good or bad (which made the process of going through the videos and finding the ones that worked much faster). In fact, I decided that the filming crew should meet at Sophie’s house an hour before filming just so we could set everything up and get used to the equipment. I went through with the actors how they should act, and before filming day, I even made a short video of how I wanted every shot to look. It was more or less stuck to, and I believe it really helped to communicate my ideas with others (something which I lacked while making the horror film). THIS is the video.

Another problem we faced was how we were going to film the streaks being lost. I ended up updating my phone so the newest iOS, in which you can film your screen, and setting the date to 24 hours later, which would mean my streaks were being lost. I was quite happy with this technique, and I think it added a sense of reality into the film. 

There are, however, two things I wish had been done better for the film. The first is the lighting and creative aspects of it. As I wrote down on planning, I wanted the film to be inspired by Wes Anderson and German Expressionism. We weren’t quite able to do this, both because of time restraints and because it wasn’t planned very well. Next time I will make sure that the inspiration and creative aspects of the film mentioned in the planning will be carried out. 

The second thing I wish had been done better was coverage. The shots, I am really proud of, but because they were all the same, this didn’t give Tim much freedom to show editing flare. Next time I will have to make sure there is more coverage and freedom for the editor.

Otherwise, I am proud of the film. It was filmed very efficiently and I think everyone in the team put a lot of effort into it. It was definitely really fun to film, and we have bloopers (including one of Nell ~actually~ losing her phone!). 

(The film is a little grainy. Its quality was degraded during the export. However, this could add to the authentic feature Maggie talked about with the BuzzFeed videos)

On What I Learnt Overall and Conclusion:

Creating a BuzzFeed story makes you think a lot about how media can be applied in the real world. It is surprisingly hard to come up with creative and random article ideas, and it is even harder to think of graphics and animations. I think after completing this project I have gained a lot more respect for content creators. 

I also learned how to communicate with people I did not know through email. Although I didn’t end up receiving a reply from Maggie, I had to present my ideas in a clear way that she would understand, and writing emails to her helped me improve this skill. I think it is an important one that I will use in the future.

Another thing I learnt is leadership. After 3 media projects, I still can’t say that I am comfortable as a director. I think being a director is a skill which can only be learnt when you are doing things. You must face challenges and unexpected inconveniences, one of the reasons I love this role so much is because it teaches me how to deal with these challenges. You must be able to coordinate people so they understand exactly what they need to do, and this is very hard, especially when you are trying to get certain details across. BuzzFeed was mostly hard because we had to create so much content, and all of it was unthemed: so you’d have one person creating a graphic on foods in Hong Kong and another creating one on a banana dog. However, I think this project has definitely helped me improve my directing, leadership and communication roles. I found it the most enjoyable because of how incredibly hard it was, and I am very happy that I took on this project instead of that of a promotional documentary. 

I will admit that the quality of our story isn’t very good, and I feel that it could have been better if we had met up as a team and learned skills together instead of alone at home. However, I am very proud of the ideas we came up with. I hope Maggie will look at our story and take inspiration from our ideas (like the streaks horror movie and the graphics), refine them and put them on the BuzzFeed story.