#lestat doesnt even get one word out

[chiropterancreed]

as serious as this episode was and at how much it hurt me and how scary everything was, i still want lestat to finally appear in dubai and daniel to take one look at him and go;

"i get it now. i understand why you both are crazy about him."

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me

oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?

i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had

what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism

but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"

because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison

if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will

i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling

and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?

i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.

but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it

and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself

sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla

[tmwcs]

you guys ever get desperate?...not for like peace of mind....more like....i dont know, lets say for instance, the worlds largest sledgehammer...that's what i'm desperate for. I'm desperate for a gigantic, king kong sledge hammer, or jack hammer, or something that will aid me in chipping away towards the earth's core, past the shifting plates of titanium, and the continental crusts, where i can submerge myself in the beyond scorching levels of molten liquid lava....all because of Enhypen's performances, the costumes, and the spectacular tracks are just making me feel toooooooo damn high....its beyond insane. Might be a little bit of jake too...that man has been looking too good and i'm not even one to swoon like that. (trust me, i'm not, which is why i write and read all the time. i get my thrill out of books. my first love was Lestat from Interview with a Vampire *original book* true story) but friggin, if jake doesnt calm his ass right now and go back to his mama.....we're gonnna have some words. fighting words. just wanted to vent that out before i bit my tongue off lol.

that is all.

[urban-unease]

Interview with the Vampire Thoughts!

Spoilers Abound!

After a second, drunker viewing of the pilot, here be my drunk thoughts. More sober thoughts may or may not come. IDK:

When I first saw the shots of Lestat at dinner with Louis' family a few days ago I immediately thought about all the ways smart writers could convey this scene. My favorite idea was if the writers conveyed Louis' family as almost immune to Lestat's charms. It would make so much sense! As a black person, I can say that groups of black folks are not easily won over by white people no matter how supernaturally charming lol. The bar is high for us to let our guard down particularly when a white person you dont know is in your personal space. I love that ultimately even Lestat could recognize that Louis' family was not having it and was not the least bit amused by him.

It's amusing and concerning to me how many people don't know/understand that the "French White" thing is not a IWTV specific thing. I mean this EXACT joke was in a Wanda Sykes special a few years ago.

Lestat is a "I'd vote for Obama a third time" kind of white and this very appropriate for his character.

I've seen complaints about the show talking about Louis' blackness too much and I'm just ?????? I mean, he's telling the story of his life and what it was like to live at that time, so yeah he's gonna talk about the hardships of being black at that particular time. It's the only the first episode and their setting the stage. and lestat is a tactless bitch so of course he's bring up Louis' race in the most grating way possible lol. It's a dog whistle y'all. don't fall for it.

I'll be honest - I never understood what was so special about Book!Louis that Lestat was so obsessed with him. But here I totally get it! Show! Louis is a gay black man out of place, in the margins, struggling to make a life for himself. He has these hidden depths that he cant share with anyone, like his gay identity and his love of the opera. An Jacob Anderson is so captivating. It makes sense to me that Lestat would want him as a companion.

Along these lines - the main reason why Book!Lestat is so attracted to Louis is because he reminds him of his ex. So does this mean show!Nicki is going to be Black? That could be interesting, but also fetishistic and weird on Lestat's part if it's not handled well.

On the note of tact - I dont expect to show to be some thoughtful and deep mediation on race. They're trying....but you know....white people....At the end of the day this a trashy show about vampires and I'm fine about that.

The levitating "sex" scene was vey silly and not as a erotic as I thought it was gonna be (though it was very fun). It was just a gay naked cuddle in the air. To call it a sex scene is hella reaching. But I appreciate the show getting weird.

that being said I want a proper sex scene because it would be an incredible waste of the chemistry between these very hot actors not to have them bone.

Daniel's personality feels on point to me. This feels like the same sassy guy that called Armand an immortal idiot. IDK

Louis' modern apartment feels accurate to his personality. He's one of the view vamps that doesn't care that much about aesthetics and I think the show did a good job of designing a home for him that combines luxury with austerity (I know that doesnt make sense but I cant think of the word right now). Its a cold gray cinder block with gray and wood furnishing. there are pops of red and gold here or there but ultimately it feels like a largely empty space only filled with the most necessary furnishings and space decor.

Grace is wonderful and adorable

rip to Lily. a real one.

I dont think Lestat pushed Paul to suicide. I think Lestat is just classless lol

The show does not do a good job of setting the stage for New Orleans culture for an audience that might be unfamiliar. IDT that Louis' thinking that Lestat's powers are just tricks is that weird when you consider that New Orleans has long been a hot bed of voodoo, witchcraft, and supernatural happenings. New orleans is a place where someone like Marie Laveau could make a name for herself in society as a Voodoo practitioner. It wasn't uncommon for folks of all classes to turn to magic for help with illness, love, and other life matters.

A big mainstream show that dresses and lights black people well - what a concept!

I have more thoughts but my hands are tired 🙃

[nickatnightwalker-blog]

@kilnkin

idk but yikes

Today at 5:44 PM

kilnkin hey do you wanna fight Today at 7:18 PM

nickatnightwalker what Today at 8:49 PM

kilnkin what are you whatting do you wanna fight me

nickatnightwalker why the literal fuck would i want to fight you

kilnkin idk why does anyone fight anyone just go with it

nickatnightwalker i don't want to fight what the fuck is your deal seriously, when did ifucking spit in your cheerios

kilnkin i thought you didnt like me isnt enough *that fuck whatever no shame is asking!!! *in

nickatnightwalker why wouldnt i like you i still dont know shit about you

nickatnightwalker i just know you've been riding my dick like a fucking sandpaper fleshlight since i got here

kilnkin graphic isnt that reason enough to dislike me im pretty sure your girlfriend threw down on my friend over less roommate whatever

nickatnightwalker who oh daisy ? idk that was their thing because they couldnt stop acting like macho men it was dumb

kilnkin i mean

kilnkin it was kinda dumb huh

kilnkin listen i just thought if you cant beat them join them or something like that but if youre not on board whatever i guess -_-

kilnkin this is stupid pretend i didnt say anything

nickatnightwalker okay i guess? jesuss if everyone else jumped off a bridge would you?

kilnkin if everyone held a meeting and revolted against the administration to defend their right to jump off a bridge them yeah i might try it

nickatnightwalker ok just because people are yelling about it doesnt make it less of a shitty idea honestly grow a spine

kilnkin ok now those sound like fighting words (:

nickatnightwalker only if you dont have a spine

kilnkin i do its made of iron sick huh

nickatnightwalker that is sick

kilnkin right!! no one could beat me if i did fight like what wasted potential ):

nickatnightwalker i literally have problems that are so much more pressing than whatever your mysterious unnamed beef with me  is give me one real reason i should indulge you

kilnkin well im being pretty annoying right thats something wait what problems i thought you were still cowering in your room half the time lmao

nickatnightwalker yes my problems revolve entirely around my self imposed exile you want a fight so bad go mess with the club

kilnkin i want a fight i can win dude

kilnkin besides ive been telling them off for ages if im gonna be a hypocrite im gonna do it in front of someone i dont give a shit about

nickatnightwalker then pick somebody else you absolute fucking scrambled egg i dont give a shit if youre a hypocrite or get your ass kicked

kilnkin i already said this was stupid ok u dont have to be a dick about it look i havent even insulted you once in this whole convo so whos on whos dick now XD

nickatnightwalker no, being a dick is picking some random guy during his first week of school and deciding to be nothing but pointlessly bitchy christ i know im not top of the food chain but goddamn it get a new hobby

kilnkin fuck off it wasnt that random

nickatnightwalker i dont even think i even TALKED to you the first week i was here what is this, some fuckin albinophobia

kilnkin what i thought you were just pale lol

nickatnightwalker okay so that's off the table

nickatnightwalker are you into daisy or some shit?  because like, we're not dating although at this point you dont have a fucking chance once i chat with her about it

kilnkin fuck no gross

nickatnightwalker oh fuck you she's not gross

kilnkin i dont have time for power plays or whatever weird shit shes into listen dipshit you stole my almostdate and then ditched her anyway havent you ever seen a teen movie i like have to hate you duh

nickatnightwalker your almostdate

nickatnightwalker goddamn i must've missed where it said PROPERTY OF printed on her forehead when she asked me out!

kilnkin oh my godddd

kilnkin listen its not my call ok youre not my first choice for high school rival but here we are

nickatnightwalker she asked me, okay? and she did it because she was pissed about something and then she fucked off with tall dark and bloodthirsty

kilnkin i know what the fuck was that about

nickatnightwalker i dont know that's none of my goddamn business

kilnkin anyway i just decided i dont give a shit who she talks to cause u and whatshisfangs are just the end of a long line of poor dating decisions so uh. fight cancelled sorry

nickatnightwalker hey, whether or not im a poor decision isn't a fucking call she or anyone else here can make so you can just hop right the fuck off my dick

kilnkin dude what do u think i just did?

kilnkin that was me hopping off your dick

nickatnightwalker okay anyway thanks for your magnanimity in deciding that i, a lowly human, dont deserve your emotional bullshit piling on top of my own problems (:

kilnkin hot tip your lowly human schtick is getting really grating lol you know theres..a lot of humans here right

nickatnightwalker then it's incredible what a jackass you must be to all of them

kilnkin when did i even say shit about you being a human what the fuck? like if i was being a dick you could pull the victim complex but straight up what did i even say

nickatnightwalker so you really just wanted to fight me because i looked like an easy target?  it's not just me? it's not just because the girl you didn't have the balls to ask out asked out a human she knew for thirty seconds and then spent half the night chasing C-grade lestat

kilnkin i did ask her you fucking ass

nickatnightwalker was that supposed to be a comeback becaaaaaaaaaause...

kilnkin god youre dense

nickatnightwalker picture me vividly

kilnkin im on tenterhooks for this mental picture go on

nickatnightwalker this is what i look like not giving half a shit about your sad fucking life and your sad fucking problems now fuck off so i turn off your shitty disney channel melodrama and tune into the real world]

kilnkin haha ok that was mildly disappointing bye (: