#lesbian pet shop for the win

[pastelfools]

Loved when people started to spam Lesbian Pet Shop in the stream chat for the Season 2 Finale

I love this community

[i-rate-horse-games]

rating Star Stable Online

Star Stable Online is a MMORPG! its plot seems to get pretty wild!

upon discovering that Fish was an option in the drop down name creators, i cackled with joy. this is Rusty Fishfish and Futurefish

our goal in this world was to become Fish. one glorious leap into the ocean showed us that it would be harder than anticipated, due to having taken a ‘dangerous’ fall. luckily it doesn’t seem like horses can be injured, even though the screen flashes red if you trip while jumping. 

i joined right after the new character models became available. i think they’re pretty neat! some of the body types looked androgynous to me, but the game calls you a girl regardless. but you can still buy facial hair in the shop!

the world is a nice size! it’s scaled small enough that you feel like you’re going places even when your horse is physically moving a little slow, and the world is big enough that there’s plenty to explore while still being small enough that you see other players going about their lives pretty frequently. 

speaking of other players! shout out to @ro-sso for warning me to never open the global chat. i did! i asked how to get hay after very rapidly forgetting what i had just learned. three people told me it grew on a farm. i said Ok. when i did find the hay (in a shop) i told the chat i had been betrayed and bamboozled and they said “BAHAHAHAHAHA”. later i used the Say chat to ask for help finding a championship that was starting soon, and everyone nearby was very helpful. you win some you lose some

quests seem to be the biggest part of the game! they’re how you get player and horse exp and level up and get better stats for competing. a lot of the quests i did felt very tedious. lots of riding back and forth and delivering messages and so forth. the worst ones involved herding horses that kept splitting into smaller groups and running around a mall doing errands for a sketchy guy. my favorite quests were the ones where i got to open my backpack and drag a tool onto something, which felt like playing Nancy Drew. there was also one where we got to follow the visible smell of pumpkin pie on a trail to a little cottage, and it was nighttime so there were cricket sounds as well!

there’s so much love and soul packed into this world! there’s a pony who was elected mayor! there’s a pirate themed race that has music just similar enough to the Pirates of the Carribean music to remind you of it while also remaining distinct! there’s a riding club that “wears pink and not only on wednesdays.”! there’s a girl with a pet owl named Toby who says “Even though he blathers about it, Toby loves bugs.” there’s vague sounds of people talking in areas with lots of NPCs! there’s a kid with a hot air balloon who takes you up to the cloud kingdom! he has a pet frog who can ride on your head! there’s an emo electric violinist who was really funny! you can get a kitten for your saddlebag! the music is pretty decent!

the clothes very strongly remind me of being 12. something about the slightly awkward way the clothes fit is nostalgic. there were also lots of flower crowns for the summer solstice!

a huge point for this game is that it has its own pride festival!

there’s just something about going to a new place and seeing rainbow flags everywhere, especially after the horrors of horse isle 3. i hear this game also has canon lesbian characters! this does make it even funnier that all players are assigned Cowgirl at login

the one thing that really surprised me is that if you play without a membership, you are apparently trapped in a demo version, and the rest of the game is locked behind a paywall. this sprang up on me after i started running out of quests. the game told me to level up to unlock more main quests, but the only way to get player exp was to do quests, and i pretty much ran out. this concept is really foreign to me, since every game like this that i’ve played before, the membership made your life much easier and more posh, but free players could still get a lot out of the game. games like club penguin, pixie hollow, animal jam, etc. it’s only about $5 a month, though, with a permanent membership option for over 50 dollars. i have not purchased it, but if I ever do, i will update my rating. :)

while googling the above problem to figure out what was going on, i learned that there's no level cap and there's seasonal events that give EXP, so even if you've finished the whole game, there can still be players more powerful than you with better stats dominating the competition. that seems ! a little rough! they also said that after you beat the game, there's not much left to do. hopefully the fun part is the journey and not the destination!

all in all, though, we did it. we became Fish.

and that makes it all worth it.

i’m rating Star Stable Online 4.5 out of 5 stars!

★★★★✬

please feel free to submit horse games or ask me to reevaluate! next up is Alicia Online!

[chrlotpony]

who in littlest pet shop 2012, specifically a boy, would get lesbian girls hitting on them because they put wlw on one of their posts thinking wlw meant winners love winning, and they think they're a masc lesbian?

[emigamescozily]

wylde flowers: reasons to play it

wylde flowers is a witchy life/farming sim that is, in my opinion, severely underrated. why should you play this? let me convince you!

fully voice acted dialogue - the game has a team of talented, award winning actors, so every single line of speech is narrated in the game with a voice that fits every character, making for entertaining cutscenes and adding charm to everyday conversations.

no inventory limitations - you can pick up everything you find without having to worry about chests or inventory management, and it is all automatically organised into categories like produce or quest items, something i found really helpful to decrease pressure and stress.

exciting story with tense and heartwarming moments - the storyline is a key part of the game, which is controlled by your character, tara wylde, doing quests and tasks set by the town of fairhaven's inhabitants!

30+ diverse characters each with their own worries, ambitions and personalities, with 7 romance options (the strange, attractive cult leader, the chill travelling surfer, the flirty, beautiful doctor, the funny, chill bartender, the mysterious, bookworm werewolf (remus lupin fans rejoice!), the wholesome, intelligent researcher, and the chill, nonbinary butcher).

clothing options after a boutique shop opens in town

classic farming elements like crops, livestock and fishing, but with unique things like gem powered farm helpers, a cauldron to brew potions, a sewing machine and silkworm charm, a paper press and desk for making spells, seasons that you can change whenever you want, a leather tanning station, and the option to pet your animals.

play as a witch who can ride her broomstick and have a pet cat as a familiar!!!

work on buildings in the town and repairing things to get new quests and people!!

casual queerness with the word 'lesbian' being used!!!!!!!!

[purplesurveys]

1919

Are either of your parents engaged but not married yet? Well, no. They are married to each other.

Do you cuddle with your pet (if you have one)? Absolutely. All three of them. Even Kimi's urn, I will hug every once in a while.

What college did you want to attend as a kid? I've always wanted to end up in UP. It was that or I'd despise myself for the rest of my life. Everyone I looked up to in the family studied - and even worked - there. Fortunately enough I got in, and in my dream degree.

Do you have a pet gecko? I do not.

Are you scared of reptiles? For the most part, yeah.

Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yes.

Where would you most like to go in your state, etc that you haven’t been? I guess just the coffee shops that I haven't been to? There aren't many tourist attractions here, but there sure is a hell of a lot of cafes.

Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? Do animals count? Hahahaha. This q isn't very applicable to me.

About what things are you most selfish? My boundaries. I used to break my own for others tirelessly, as if I was gunning to be canonized when I die lol; but it's had a 180º turn. I'm fiercely protective of my boundaries now and I'll be a raging bitch about it if I have to.

Are you camera shy? Why/why not? Sometimes. I just don't like being in front of the camera and have always preferred to be the one taking the photos.

What is one small thing your significant other does that makes you happy? If you are single, what is one small thing a friend does to make you happy? When they send me memes and say that it reminded them of me.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Three.

Who was the last person to give you flowers? Angela and Hans. They've given me a bouquet every year on my birthday since 2021 - and it was only this year I learned that they do so because they knew I had meant to kms 3 years ago. I cry every time I think about this, so let's move on haaaa...

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? My pets. It wouldn't be 'hard,' I'd just never agree to giving them up whatsoever.

Do you like BBQ sauce? Loveeeeeee itttttttt.

How many subscribers do you have on your YouTube channel? None.

If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? White is fine.

What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? I don't have one.

What was the last thing you were mad at a doctor about? I've never been directly angry at a doctor.

Is your mother a lesbian? No.

Do any of your close friends NOT have a Facebook account? She's not a close friend anymore, but Sofie wiped out her social media years ago. Good for her, honestly.

Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? Nopes.

When was the last time you swam in a pool? No clue. Ever since discovering the beach, I've stopped swimming in pools.

What was the last thing you said out loud? "Thank you"

Have you ever wanted to be a nurse? No.

Who or what do you worship? Nobody and nothing.

What was the last song you listened to on repeat? Neva Play by Megan Thee Stallion and RM.

What song do you want played at your wedding? Haven't given this much thought. Love Wins All by IU sounds like an awesome prospect, though.

What are three of the most painful things you have ever stepped on? The rooftop floor in 40ºC weather. I can't think of anything else - I'm pretty sensitive to pain so I avoid sensations I know would hurt to begin with.

If applicable, what song are you listening to right now? Groin by RM.

If you could choose three US states to visit, which three states would you pick? Illinois, Oregon, New York.

Have you ever donated blood? Nope.

Would you rather attend a yoga class or a Zumba class? Zumba, I guess. Yoga's never appealed to me, and I've tried getting into it more than once.

Have you written anything down today? I have not.

Do you own a pair of pink pants? No.

Do you normally eat healthy? No, not really. I'm on team here-for-a-good-time-not-a-long-time so like honestly I never pay attention to what I eat and if I eat more unhealthy than healthy, lol.

What is the best compliment you’ve ever received? Being told I'm good at writing is what has always mattered the most to me.

Do you believe in miracles? I don't.

What are three ways in which you are not normal? I hyperfocus on work and latch so much of my self-validation on being recognized for how well I perform. Everyone else has a much better sense of "life over work, always" and I'm very envious of that.

Cutting people off is my main coping mechanism, especially if they can't be argued with. I can't think of a third thing.

Which genre of music do you listen to the most? Pop.

Last person you kissed, are they into any type of sports? Which ones? I knew she was into softball at one point; idk now.

Does your best friend have a job? Yes, she's (officially now!) an architect at a firm.

Do you ever visit people at work? No, not while at work. I've been to Angela's office, but that's only because their place turns into a bar in the evening. I've never actually visited her while she was on-shift.

When you move out your house (or if you already have moved out) do you plan on still visiting your parents’ house? Yes.

Do you usually take home leftovers if you eat out in a restaurant? Yeah, I never finish anything I order.

Have you ever ghost rode the whip (put your car on auto and dance next to it as it’s moving)? Do you want to? Is this like when Hobi did the In My Feelings challenge? LOL no I haven't. It sounds irresponsible + I can't dance.

Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? They no longer loved me and I just figured it was better to move on than to keep wasting time trying to read their mind/get them back.

What do you think of long-term relationships? Great, if you have them. Unneeded, for me.

Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Do you update them all regularly? I don't know what you'd count as a lot but I do have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and this. Yeah, I check and post on all regularly.

When you’re in trouble, do your parents ever “middle name” you? Nope.

When was the last time you got a new tattoo or piercing? Do you have any plans to get either in the future? I haven't gotten anything besides the earlobe piercings they had put on me when I was a few months old.

Are you patriotic at all? Why/why not? No. This country and its people are difficult to like.

Are you any good at packing a suitcase? I am, but that's also because I pack light to begin with.

Have you ever had a white hot chocolate? What did you think? I don't think so.

Do you ever get eczema? I don't.

Have you ever mowed a lawn? Nope. 

Is there anyone you would do literally anything for? My immediate family and Angela.

Have you ever done a “knock-and-run” prank? No thanks.

Have you ever stabbed a friend in the back, intentionally or not? Wow, no.

What’s the longest you’ve ever slept in one go? 8 or 9 hours.

Have you ever dated someone with an accent different than yours? I guess so. Their English was a lot stronger than mine; but I also picked up a great deal of her accent throughout our time together.

Have you ever worked two jobs at once? Nopes.

Do you enjoy the smell and taste of cinnamon? As long as it's not overpowering.

Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? I don't think so, no.

What did your mother study at university? One of the big 4 but that's the best hint I'm willing to give.

What was the last thing you took a video of? Reena at her dance recital.

What are some of your least favorite foods? Fruits, bistek, roast beef, tapa if it's not from Rodic's, nilaga, bulalo...I'm not a big fan of beef.

[starfiresyugiohocs]

OC Profile: Nana

Full Name: Nana Mutou. Nicknames: Sunbeam (by her grandparents), Na-chan, BaNana. Aliases: N/A. Nationality: Japanese. Birthplace: Domino City, Japan. Gender: Female (she/her). Sexuality: Lesbian, possibly polyamorous. Age: 18-20 years old. Birthday: November 7th. Star Sign: Scorpio. Occupation: Psychology & Fine Arts student; counter clerk at Kame Game. Voiceclaim: Mae Whitman

Hair Color: Red, with blonde bangs. Hairstyle: Goes a bit past her shoulders, absolutely wild and untamable, very thick and has just that little bit off spike and fluff to it. Her bangs fall in a similar manner to her brother's and grandfather's, just without the spikiness. Eye Color: Aqua blue. Skintone: Deep tan. Notable Features: Being a 6'3" giant in a family of hobbits is pretty notable. Excess amount of freckles all over, pierced ears. Outfit Style: Very vibrant and/or pastel colors. Loves jeans that she's painted or has embroidery on them, and graphic tees. Very comfy and easy to move around in. Also has a ton of workout clothes. Accessories: Anklets are a big thing and she still wears friendship bracelets.

Personality: Bright and bubbly personality. Easily excitable, especially when it comes to her friends. She wants to be a positive influence, always encouraging others to reach their full potential. Lot of warmth and compassion in her heart. Still tends to be a bit lonely, thankful for the dear friends she's made but she struggled with making friends outside of her group. Gets flustered very easily. Mom Friend 24/7. Constantly looks out for everyone. Protective of her little brother, always trying to stick up for him. Very determined, can be a little stubborn at times. Has a harder time managing stress but is thankful for her psychology classes to help give her some blueprints. Hobbies: Painting, drawing, making jewelry, jogging, baking, reading comics, collecting knick knacks (i.e. fun mugs).  Habits/Mannerisms: Tugging at her bangs when she's nervous, snorting when she laughs, smile through the pain, bear hugs and spinning people around when excited. Likes: Cozy games, watercolors, animated movies (esp Ghibli films), being at the beach, board games, summer, fireworks, festivals, butterflies. Dislikes: Driving, egotistical people, the cold, snow, first person shooters, writing essays, when it's pitch dark. Favorite Food: Oyakodon, cookie cakes. Least Favorite Food: Cold soba.

Deck: Elemental Heroes. Signature Card(s): Elemental Hero Lady Heat. Ranking: Isn't as active in the tournament scene herself, and just tends to enjoy the game. She doesn't have near the win streak Yugi and Yami have, and I don't think she's ever beaten her Grandpa, but she's got a few wins under her belt!

Parents: Asami Mutou (deceased) and Hanzo Inaba (absent completely). Was raised by her grandparents, Solomon Mutou and Hina Mutou (nee Shimada). Sibling(s): Yugi Mutou (younger brother). By extension, she also comes to view the spirit of the Puzzle, Yami, as her brother as well. Extended Family: I would say consult the family tree, but it's pretty straight forward and she doesn't really have any. Pet(s): A Shiba Inu named Taro. Love Interest(s): Ishizu Ishtar, Nami Izumi (credit: @icychill) Extensive Relationships: See page here (coming soon)

History:

Born as the eldest child to her parents, with Yugi following after two years. Her father disappeared from their life not long after her brother was born and she doesn't have any real memory of him and is happy enough not needing to seek him out.

Grew up with a group of friends very dear to her and she developed deep bonds with and are the exact reason Yugi craves that connection with people; he saw the example from her.

Their mother passed away when Nana was eight and Yugi was six, leading to them living with their grandparents at the game shop full time; they'd been helping watch after them since they were little after all.

Yugi finds the Puzzle a year afterwards and while Nana tried solving it herself, found it was better to let Yugi try (mostly because she got frustrated)

Started up college not long before the first fic and is excited to become a therapist so she can help others!

[ribbonsweetcreme]

I got tagged by @ros-sauce to share 10 fun facts about myself and tag 10 other people.

So I’m tagging @azusawa-world, @lesbian-octo8, @hecate-spawn, @yourlocalplant, @ghostychan28, oh gosh idk that many blogs I’m comfortable enough with to just tag out of the blue. Um… @ghostypetrainer, @sketchii21, @kohatoyas, @gory-ghostie-gutz, and @ladylolalilly.

I have around 25 sketch books, some are notebooks I decided I’d draw in and some are actual sketchbooks made for drawing, I have more of the former that the latter, but the fun fact is that I can remember in which book I have a certain drawing stored in, probably because each books is so different in size, cover, and type of paper.

I wasn’t allowed to have caffeine in my soda as a child, but now my mom is trying to get me to drink it because I have narcolepsy and can’t stop falling asleep during the day.

When I was a toddler I almost killed my older brother by pushing him off the bed, he had to get stitches in his head.

I’ve never eaten peanut butter, the reason that I told everyone was that my brother is allergic, but honestly I just don’t like how it smells. I also don’t like jelly so no pb&j for me.

I was the final boss for tether ball at my elementary school, boys from my older brother’s class would challenge me as a test of skill, I mostly won, because I’d use my tallness and bulk to hit the ball extra hard over their heads and just win within thirty seconds of the round starting.

I’ve only gotten in detention once in elementary school, I made a tentacle joke, I don’t even know if I knew what it meant at the time, but it explains my sense of humor now 💀.

As a child, I had littlest pet shop ocs (not of the show, though I was a fan of it but just the little toys) I still have those ocs to this day! Though I’m not sure what to do with them.

I started doodling in fourth grade but never started seriously trying to draw until fifth grade, because I was inspired by a new boy in my class, no I didn’t have a crush on him, I just saw him draw and was like, I want to do that too!

I used to be big into My little pony and Steven universe to the point where all my ocs were at one point ponies and gems, both separately and at the same time. Also su taught me that gay people existed, thanks Steven universe 👍

As a child, I used to be big into crossovers to the point that I had fan children of crossover ships, (well one, it was the child of Asriel Dreemurr and Kotaha Hanami… don’t ask idk how I even came up with that ship in the first place 💀)

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (#171):

First watch: De Sica's depressing classic Umberto D, about poverty and the loss of dignity. A sad, retired civil servant at the end of his life struggles to survive while caring for his pet dog. A neo-realist drama, but not of the working class. The film that Ingmar Bergman saw more than a hundred times.

🍿

2 with Joanna Kulig, my Polish Crush:

🍿 Michael Keaton's terrific Knox Goes Away opens with a dreamy saxophone cooing, straight out of 'Chinatown'. It's nearly on that level too. A contract killer discovers that he's suffering from a fast-moving form of dementia, and decides to 'cash out' before his memory fades away.

There had been many recent movies about Alzheimer's and other degenerative brain sicknesses, 'Away from her', 'The father', 'Iris', 'Poetry'... Strangely still, there had been a cluster of movies just in the last few years about "Professional Killers With Dementia", like the Liam Neeson's 'Memory' and Russell Crow's 'Sleeping dogs'.

Anyway, this is a well-done, slow-paced and melancholic thriller with riveting performances. Joanna Kulig plays an Eastern European hooker who loves to read, but can't read him. 9/10.

🍿 The Innocents, my third film by Anne Fontaine was a dark and difficult story. After the war, a group of devout Polish nuns were raped en mass by Russian soldiers, and had to deal with the traumas of giving births to unwanted babies. Not a pleasant or easy film, dealing with the question of faith. Mercifully it ended with a relative 'happy end' underscored by Max Richter's 'On the nature of daylight'. But it was not as perfect as 'Ida'. Joanna Kulig was one of the nuns. [*Female Director*].

🍿

The present is a heartbreaking Palestinian short, nominated for the 2020 Oscars. It's a simple story of a father from the West Bank who goes shopping for a gift for his wife. Because he is Arab, he must endure abuse and humiliations in the hands of the Israeli soldiers, in front of the eyes of his young daughter. The dehumanization is real. The cruelty is the purpose. 9/10.

I have to stop watching movies about the occupation, it's just too painful. [*Female Director*].

🍿

3 by new Egyptian film-maker Omar El Zohairy:

🍿 Feathers, his award winning debut feature, is a bizarre and miraculous story like no other I've ever seen, not even by Michael Haneke or Yorgos Lanthimos.

It opens with a disturbing and unexplainable scene of a person who sets himself on fire in a dystopian junkyard. Then it moves to tell of a poor and silent woman, whose husband is turned into a chicken, and who is left to fend for herself and her 3 babies without any surviving skills or redeeming qualities. The depressing and Kafkaesque nightmare takes place in the dirtiest, shabbiest rooms I've even seen, and is very hard to watch, if it wasn't for the deliberate, restrained skills of this unique storyteller. The trailer.

If you ever wondered what it's like to be an extremely poor, illiterate and unremarkable woman at the very bottom of Egyptian society, this is the film for you. An incredible find. 8/10.

🍿 Based on a Chekhov’s story, The Aftermath of the Inauguration of the Public Toilet at Kilometer 375 is an absurdist tale about a lowly employee who feels the need to continue apologizing to a superior, because he sneezed during a small ceremony in the middle of nowhere. Feels very much like a Roy Andersson sketch. Dusty, neglected desert roads, dirty surfaces, and shame.

🍿 Zafir ("Breathe Out"), a wordless, sparse story of a thin man taking care of his sick wife, whose heavy snoring keeps him awake at night. Minimalist decay and suffocation in a poor man's apartment.

🍿

First watch: Mädchen in Uniform, an early (but definitely not the first) and explicit lesbian romance, between a 14-year-old girl and her kind teacher at an all-girl boarding school. With an all-woman cast, it's natural, modern, absorbing and sensual. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. The film was an international success in 1931, and was later banned by the Nazis. Sadly, many of the actresses who played these vivacious teen actresses perished in concentration camps just a few years later. 9/10. [*Female Director*].

🍿  

Rockshow (1980), a joyous concert film of Paul McCartney and Wings during their 1976 'Over The World Tour'. Affable vegetarian and his lovely wife, a shot of Beatles nostalgia, great soft rock of the '70's. (Photo Above).

🍿

2 by spectacular Singaporean Sandi Tan:

🍿 "Mmm... Gorgonzola!..." Gourmet Baby, her first film from 2001 is super weird, and would be so much creepier if it was done by a man. It tells of a lonely middle aged uncle, who returns to Singapore from abroad, and who starts grooming his teenage niece to appreciate fine dining. An original voice which leaves so much unsaid in these compact 15 minutes. Found on her old YouTube Channel. [*Female Director*].

🍿 Shirkers, WOW! Her 2018 documentary is the best - and most emotional - film I've seen this week!

Sandi Tan was an avant-garde teenage punker when she set out to make Singapore's first New Wave road movie 'Shirkers' in 1992, together with 2 female friends and an old an middle aged mentor. But when the shooting was over, the 'mentor', Georges Cardona, took the 72 canisters of completed film as well as all supportive materials, and disappeared. For 20 years, Sandi and friends could not find out what had happened, and gave up on their groundbreaking work. This 2018 documentary pieces together the mystery, telling about the process of making the original movie, and the consequences of losing - and finding it again - after all this time. It's absolutely tremendous.

I'm going to write an appreciation of her work on r/truefilm and link to it here when I do. 10/10.

I'm so happy that she is now finding the incredible response that she deserves. It looks like she is working on a new film now, 'The Idiot'.[*Female Director*].

🍿

Louis Lumière: In 1968 Éric Rohmer interviewed director Jean Renoir and archivist Henri Langlois about the art of the Lumière Bothers. Langlois of course was the co-founder of the Cinémathèque française (together with Lotte Eisner and George Franju!), and an early pioneer of film preservation. So many horses!

🍿

2 Animated movies about animals + Peter Pan:

🍿 Animal Behaviour, a fantastic Canadian short about a wild and crazy bunch of animals who meet for a weekly session of group psychotherapy at a dog's office. Lost the 2018 Oscars to Pixar's 'Bao'. Very funny. 9/10.

🍿 "Four legs good... Two legs bad..."

Animal Farm, a British adaptation of Orwell's anti-authoritarian satire, initiated and secretly funded by the CIA, no less, as part of their Cold War propaganda covert operations. Orwell nuanced description of the Russian revolution, with parallels to Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, the Soviet purges, and the 5-year-plans, etc. are all washed out in this broad anti-communist screed. Fascinating to watch in hindsight. The barnyard animals get all fucked up in the end, no matter who benefits from the means of production.

🍿 "What Made the Red Man Red?" Another first watch: Disney's original Peter Pan, the last film in which all of his "Nine Old Men" worked together on. A beautiful animation with some serious racist problem at its core. Stereotypical 1950's 'family values' posed as saccharine Edwardian fairy tale. Also, the kids all struggled with Freudian urges of growing up, so the story is filled with strong sexual jealousy vibes where Wendy, Tinker Bell, Tiger Lily and all the mermaids vie for the love of Peter Pan.

🍿

Kismet: How Turkish Soap Operas Changed the World is an Al-Jazeera documentary from Cyprus about the appeal of popular Turkish tele-novelas (like 'Gümüş' and others) for women in the Middle East and the Balkans. It's not very deep, and obviously not too progressive. 3/10. [*Female Director*].

🍿

A single re-watch this week♻️: Good Luck to you, Leo Grande, a good-natured sex comedy, which takes place primarily in one hotel room between two people. An anxious widow hires a young male escort, in order to experience carnal joy for the first time in her life. Brave of 63 year old Emma Thompson to play the passion-starved ex-teacher who learns to accept herself so realistically - and to pose naked in front of the mirror. [*Female Director*].

🍿

The Scribe, Buster Keaton's very last film before his death in 1966. Like 'The Railrodder', it was an educational promo, this time a 'Work Safety Guide', for the 'Construction Safety Association of Ontario, Canada'. Silent for the most part, and full of silent-era gags. 4/10.

🍿

Stolen, a new Swedish drama about the indigenous Sámi culture of reindeer herding at the arctic north. Told in beautiful exotic language, like a Carlos Castaneda fairy tale. Nice girl-centric and engaging.

I had 'Sami Blood', another, possibly similar, story on my watch list, but I never got to it, so now I've seen this instead. [*Female Director*].

🍿

Alex Gibney is an extremely prolific, middlebrow documentary director (57 since 1980! and some of which were quiet good: 'Dirty money', 'The inventor', 'Going clear'...). Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room was typically entertaining. It told of the alluring, corrupt complicity of all the powers at the center of American capitalism, Wall Street greed, the business criminals, the bought media culture, Ronald Reagan's push for "deregulation", George W Bush's scammy venality, etc. I was much attuned to all that at the time, so it beings back so many memories, not always positive. Fuck all those crooked bastards.

🍿

Dan Dream is a "folke" comedy from the Danish team known for their 'Klovn' series (which I haven't seen). It's broad, and loud and crass, full of 1980's cliches, an apparent real story of the failed invention of the first Danish electric car. Lots of nostalgic touches, and toilet humor. 3/10.

🍿

A day at the beach (1970), a long-lost and forgotten Polanski oddity, the first film he wrote after the Tate murder, and which he possibly co-directed. A British film with horrible performances from everybody involved, including a Peter Sellers cameo as a very gay shopkeeper. For some reason it was shot in English but in Copenhagen and without any acknowledgements of that fact. It tells of another uncle, this one an alcoholic jerk who takes his young niece for a rainy day out. But his grating assholery was so off-putting and depressing, I had to quit mid-story.

🍿

The black book, my third Nigerian film (and none of them were any good). A primitive crime / action / thriller type about political corruption, kidnapping, revenge, and other violent acts of cruelty, but in the overcrowded slums of Lagos. So far, from what I've seen, Nollywood is like an Hollywood rip-off but stupider and with an accent. 2/10 (and one of these 2 points is simply for being exotic).

🍿

Wicked Little Letters, a stale new British 'comedy' with miscast Timothy Spall. Devout Christian spinster Olivia Coleman in a 1920's village sends anonymous poison-pen letters full of profanities to herself and blames her vivacious neighbor for it. 1/10. [*Female Director*].

🍿

The only reason I watched Miracle mile, is because I read somewhere that this obscure 1988 apocalyptic 'thriller' is a great description of the last hour before nuclear war destroys Los Angeles. But even though I’m dying to see more stories about the end of the world, I have to stop believing the crap I read on the internet. This boring, amateurish, ludicrous piece of garbage, with terrible acting, flat story telling, pointless histrionics, and stupid everything was bad! 1/10.

🍿  

(My complete movie list is here)

[formulapop-cb]

LEE SIYEON

Born: 1995 October, 1

Debut: 2015

Driver number: 11

Grand Prix wins: 47

Championship Title: 3

About her: Siyeon was born into a family of racing enthusiasts. Her parents were both avid fans of formula one and passed down their love and knowledge of the sport to her. When Siyeon turned 14, she received her first go-kart as a birthday present from her parents. The moment she got behind the wheel, she knew that this was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Throughout her journey, Siyeon also found solace in getting tattoos. Each tattoo represented a significant event or milestone in her life, from her first championship win to her record-breaking third title. She saw them as a reminder to always push herself and never give up. Despite her intense focus on her career, Siyeon always made time for her pet dog, a black labrador named Max. Max was her loyal companion and would often accompany her to the race tracks, cheering her on from the sidelines.

Siyeon is lesbian. She is monogamous and she would be more than happy to find her happiness finally. She is a dominant.

LEE MINHO

Born: 1998 October, 25

Debut: 2020

Driver number: 25

Grand Prix wins: 6

Championship Title: 0

About him: Minho grew up in a small town on the outskirts of Milan, Italy and was always fascinated by the fast-paced world of racing. His parents were both mechanics at a local car shop, and Minho spent most of his childhood tinkering and fixing cars alongside them. From a young age, Minho knew that he wanted to be a professional Formula One driver. He was inspired by the likes of Michael Schumacher and Ayrton Senna, and dreamed of one day becoming a world champion himself. Minho's big break came at the age of 19 when he was scouted by Alfa Romeo's racing team. He was given the opportunity to join their junior team and compete in the Formula Three championship. After 3 succesfull years Minho finally got into Formula One and since then he has his mind set to win many Championships while he's still able to do it.

Minho is bisexual. He is monogamous and isn't actively searches for a partner. He is a dominant.

[neonponders]

Read this ficlet and am thinking about tattoo artist!Steve.

Billy’s first thought: intern. The guy has too much naked skin to be an established tattoo artist. Billy had been flipping through the flash book, mostly just to get a read on the new tattoo shop in town.

Except the flash selection was really good. And the decor wasn’t like any other tattoo parlor. Most places have solid-colored walls nearly covered with flash sheets, or art prints so old they’ve faded beyond caring.

This place had plants. Like....lots of plants. Lots of natural lighting coming through the front windows, which made the place more approachable than a shady, blocked out storefront. Clean, light wooded floors. Freshly painted, white baseboards that gleamed in the light. Thrifted Tiffany knock-off lamps that added color to the place that was otherwise green, white, and wood themed.

Like a spa or something. The Orchid Parlor.

The whole place was a long rectangle, and one of the longer sides had been painted into an accent wall of....elephant ear plants? Billy didn’t know plants, all right. But he knew good art when he saw it, and a pretty face even better.

“Are you one of the artists?” he asked, peeking up from the pages of stylized flowers and Japanese/Korean fusion pieces.

“Yeah. And one of the owners,” he declared jovially. “We’re having a grand opening bash this weekend if you want to come? All flash proceeds will be going to charity.”

That sounded...great. “Aren’t the first three years of a business the hardest? That’s really generous of you.”

The guy tilted his weight onto one leg while he shrugged behind the counter. “We have a good financial backer for our first year. My goal isn’t really financial success.”

Billy had to guffaw at that. “Does your backer know that?”

“My dad has low expectations, so anything I do is a step up.”

Oh.

“Oh. Sorry.”

He smiled kindly. “It’s okay. But seriously, if you see something you like - this is my book, but my partner’s is right here - and if you see something you like, come by on Saturday. There’ll be food and music - and a line, probably, so I’d suggest coming a half hour early.”

“Partner,” Billy singled out on. “Where are they? You’re managing opening week alone?”

The guy rolled his big brown eyes at the ceiling. “Her lesbian lover had some catastrophe and she had to rush out of here. She’s been trying to surprise Robin for weeks with adopting a chinchilla. She could only really do it if Robin was too busy with our shop, so...”

He nodded, those arching brunette tresses bobbing over his forehead. Billy felt his features soften with intrigued warmth. “And you? No gay lovers to surprise you with pets?”

He laughed - win for Billy. Nice smile too.

“No. I’ve been single for a while now. But I wouldn’t suggest getting a tattoo just to flirt with me.”

“Hmm,” Billy hummed to himself. “What’s the charity?”

The man tilted his head as if the charity operated right next door. “The Upside Down Hostel on 31st street. It’s a safe house for queer kids.”

The flirtatious warmth melted off of Billy’s face. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be here Saturday.”

The owner reached for the stack of fliers as well as the little display of business cards. He wrote something on the back of the flier, stapled the card to it, and passed it to Billy. “I look forward to seeing you. Do you have dietary stuff?”

Billy looked up from the card reading Robin Buckley and Steve Harrington. “Stuff?”

“Vegan. Celiac. Allergies.”

“Oh. No. I don’t do a lot of dairy, though.”

“That’s fine. We’re getting an unreasonable amount of vegan doughnuts and dim sum. I can hold onto your favorite flavor so you won’t have to fight anybody.”

Billy laughed and appreciated that Steve had noticed his hard work under his tank top. “Maple glazed. I’ll hold you to that.”

“You don’t get to cut in line, though.”

“Oh, well then there’s no point.”

They shared a moment of laughter, finished with Billy tapping his paper goodies on the counter. “Saturday, then.”

“Wait, what’s your name?”

“Billy,” he held his hand over the counter, and Steve shook... “Hargrove.”

The long stem of an orchid peeked out of Steve’s t-shirt, tucked inside his bicep. The upside down orchids were black with pink highlights, curving back underneath his tricep and sleeve.

“Steve. Nice to meet you, Billy.”

Before he left, Billy ventured, “Can I ask...why all the plants?”

“I’m claustrophobic, but not as much around plants. Cubicles are...not an option for me, but a wall of plants gives clients the privacy they need and I can hold a needle steady.”

“And if I were to bring a drink to keep my artist going, what would that be?”

“Are you expecting me to answer cactus juice?”

“Are you really going to send me to the most expensive grocery store in town so I can bribe my way into flirting with you?”

Steve laughed. “No, just a flat white with oat milk. Or a passion fruit lemonade. Or -”

“I’m leaving,” Billy sassed on his way to the door. “See you on Saturday, pretty boy.”

[yikesbergs]

In honour of Critical Role Campaign 2 finishing I thought I’d share all my alternate titles for the episodes:

Episode 1: 7 Wandering Destinies Walk Into A Bar

Episode 2: Prison Is Not Beaus Favoured Terrain

Episode 3: The Gang Don’t Find A Witch Hut

Episode 4: Caleb Takes A Bath

Episode 5: Fjord Has A Wet Dream

Episode 6: The Gang go Knoll Hunting

Episode 7: Caleb Is Straight Up Not Having A Good Time

Episode 8: The Mighty No Is Born

Episode 9: The Nein Takes A Bath

Episode 10: Molly Mocks A Spider To Death

Episode 11: Jester Gets Some Smut

Episode 12: Just A Little Friendly B&E

Episode 13: Caleb Gets A Hit Off The Dodecahedron

Episode 14: The Gang Meet A Sweaty Sweaty Man

Episode 15: Frumpkin Gets Cubed

Episode 16: Fjord Deepthroats A Sword

Episode 17: This is Sparta??

Episode 18: Caleb Widogasts Honesty Hour

Episode 19: Yasha Gets Yolked

Episode 20: Jester Becomes A Mother

Episode 21: The Nein Meet A Dragon

Episode 22: Caleb Gets A Shave

Episode 23: Nott Is Just Your Average American Man

Episode 24: The Nein Win A Drinking Contest

Episode 25: Laura And Travis Have A Baby

Episode 26: Shine Bright You Crazy Diamond

Episode 27: The Nein Do Some Recon

Episode 28: The Nein Find A Grave Digger

Episode 29: Calebs High Noon

Episode 30: The Nein Take A Long Rest

Episode 31: Jester and Nott have a Girls Night Out

Episode 32: The Nein Adopts A Bird 2.0

Episode 33: Family Jewels Reunited

Episode 34: Who the fuck is Traci?

Episode 35: Jester Dies At The Docks

Episode 36: Caleb pulls a Betty White

Episode 37: The Hunt For Fjords Third Ball Continues

Episode 38: Beau gets Jungle Fever

Episode 39: Nott hears Colour

Episode 40: Fjord FJUCKS

Episode 41: Nott Makes A ‘Bomb’ Bolt

Episode 42: Jester Starts A Bar Fight

Episode 43: The Nein Go Deep Sea Diving

Episode 44: Fjord and Caleb become Blood Brothers

Episode 45: Impromptu Weeklong Getaway

Episode 46: Yasha Thinks of Home

Episode 47: Cad Capsizes The Boat

Episode 48: The Nein goes through Customs

Episode 49: Caduceus “Geoff” Clay

Episode 50: Frumpkin is the Fae King

Episode 51: you know that one bird in FFXV? Yeah

Episode 52: Zorth and Gorth make a deal

Episode 53: The Nein Find A Witch Hut??

Episode 54: Æłdrïtćh błaæęšt

Episode 55: Just A Little Friendly PVP

Episode 56: Caleb Changes Everything

Episode 57: Beau Checks The Thread Count

Episode 58: Nott and Caleb Update Their Character Art

Episode 59: Cad Makes New Friends

Episode 60: Just a Normal Fucking Turtle Matthew

Episode 61: The Nein Gets New Threads

Episode 62: Cad and Jester make a Hot Tub

Episode 63: The Nein Fights A ‘bugbear’

Episode 64: Jester Gets A Kiss

Episode 65: The Nein Find A Birds Nest

Episode 66: Jester has a pet bat?

Episode 67: Yasha Uses Chidori

Episode 68: The Nein Traverse Mickies Haunted Mansion

Episode 69: Episode 69 Is Not As Fun As It Should Be

Episode 70: Bren Meets A Prisoner

Episode 71: Luc Gets A Dog

Episode 72: Fjord Yee’s his last Haw

Episode 73: Nott and Beau Climb A Tree

Episode 74: Beau Spends 2000 Gold At The Library

Episode 75: Caleb Turns Swedish

Episode 76: The Nein Invent Mead Pong

Episode 77: Beau Becomes The Man

Episode 78: 6 Wandering Destinies Walk Into A Bar

Episode 79: The Nein Crash Land

Episode 80: Caleb Widogasts Web of Fire

Episode 81: Caleb Becomes A Father

Episode 82: The Nein Get Vored

Episode 83: Nott Takes A Nap Right There

Episode 84: The Nein Get Their Library Cards Back

Episode 85: Pumat Is Not A Combat Wizard

Episode 86: Thunderbolts And Lightening Very Very Frightening

Episode 87: The Nein Reach For The Squishy

Episode 88: Caleb Sees An Old Friend

Episode 89: The Nein Find A Fight Pit

Episode 90: Fjord Does Time

Episode 91: Essek Stays For Dinner

Episode 92: The Nein Run Into Old Friends

Episode 93: The Nein Finally Find A Witch Hut

Episode 94: Nott Hires Some Help

Episode 95: The Nein Go Bug Stomping

Episode 96: Good Night At The Ranch?

Episode 97: Extreme Makeover: Veth Edition

Episode 98: Yashas Self Care Sunday

Episode 99: Fjord Gets A Orchiectomy

Episode 100: The Nein Fights An Island

Episode 101: Caduceus’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Episode 102: The Nein Go Cave Diving

Episode 103: The Nein Search For The Butthole

Episode 104: Caleb “Let’s go Lesbians” Widogast

Episode 105: Beau And Caduceus Just Vibe

Episode 106: Jesters Problatunity

Episode 107: T-Rex vs T-Rex: Jurassic Fight Ring

Episode 108: Traveller Con 3000 Goes About As Good As We Expect

Episode 109: Fjord Makes A Great Purchase

Episode 110: Beau Gets More Pocket Bacon

Episode 111: The Nein Visit A Friend

Episode 112: Fjord Smacks A Painting

Episode 113: Caleb Flirts With A Sea Monster

Episode 114: The Mighty Neins Murder Mystery Hour

Episode 115: Veth ‘Snow’ Brenatto

Episode 116: Fjord Yeets Veth Off A Cliff

Episode 117: Yasha Doesn’t Know Weasel Life

Episode 118: The Gang Go Sledding

Episode 119: Cad Kills A Baby

Episode 120: Veth Cockblocks The Lesbians

Episode 121: Jester Does A Tarot Reading

Episode 122: The Nein See The Attic

Episode 123: Fjord Does 69 Damage (nice)

Episode 124: The Nein Get Mulaned

Episode 125: Veth Uses Halfling Luck

Episode 126: Caleb Goes Dancing

Episode 127: The Nein Commits Some Friendly B&E

Episode 128: Fjord Becomes A Busboy

Episode 129: The Lesbians Pick A Lock

Episode 130: The Spice Girls Go Shopping

Episode 131: The Nein Get Essek Naked

Episode 132: Veth Recreates The Opening

Episode 133: Caleb Shows Essek The Stars

Episode 134: Fjord Gets A Haircut

Episode 135: Veth Gets A Crossbow

Episode 136: Sprinkle The Archfey

Episode 137: Caduceus Smacks A Sheep

Episode 138: Wizards Break Reality For Nap Time

Episode 139: Essek And Veth Tell Some Jokes

Episode 140: The Nein Live Up To Their Number

Episode 141: Nine Wandering Destines Part Ways

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Gretchen Wieners

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(By the way, I usually write female x female meeting scenarios with bisexuality {or I suppose at least being deep in the closet} in mind for both the character and reader)

- You met Gretchen when you both wound up dating the same really shitty guy ...at the same time.

- You just so happened to find out that either you or Gretchen was the side piece when your friend mentioned seeing them together at a party.

- So there you were, nervously approaching the Brunette and asking if you could talk to her for a minute. Once you got her away from any prying ears, you told her that you’d been dating “your boyfriend” for a few months now and that you were sorry but you’re assuming that he’s playing you both.

- She’s absolutely speechless ...before the waterworks start coming. You don’t know if you caught her on a bad day or if she really just liked that guy but she was going through it and you were the only one there to console her.

- So, you console her, jokingly planning a mini revenge plot to get back at him before she calms herself and you can make your exit. You think that that’s it; because it’s Gretchen Wieners and you’re you, but to your surprise she actually starts talking to you on her own accord, albeit somewhat away from your peers eyes; or at least Reginas.

- Gretchen has a talent for choosing the worst people to get into relationships with, crush on, or just become friends with, so your basic human kindness made her attach herself to you like a magnet whenever she could. Soon enough, she thinks about how you’d make a good girlfriend, and then she realizes she wants you to be her girlfriend.

- Well, we all know that Gretchen can’t keep a secret so it’s only a matter of time before she blurts out that she loves you and you admit that you like her too.

- For your first date, the two of you get smoothies before you head to a salon and get manicures/pedicures. To everyone else around you, you’re just two friends having a girl day but you both feel the buzzing lovestruck feelings between the two of you.

- You share your first kiss a few nights later at a party. One of your old friends just happened to be there so you spent a lot of the night talking to her. Well Gretchen wasn’t too happy about that, she got jealous and subsequently drunk and stole a kiss from you in the bathroom before puking up.

- The next morning you kissed her properly as she recovered from a killer hangover, reassuring her that she was your girlfriend and that you were only friends with the girl.

- And so, Gretchen Wieners finally gets a partner that will treat her right.

- Lots of Pda though it’s mainly things you can pass off as friends being affectionate with each other, unless you’re at a party and can play that whole I’m drunk and like totally lesbian right now thing.

- Interlocked arms.

- Picking her up. She finds it fun and she’s little so it’s really not hard for you to do.

- Getting her lipgloss all over your face and lips.

- Soft, chaste or long kisses depending on the mood.

- Cheek kisses.

- She’s pretty much always the little spoon when you cuddle. That’s something she’s pretty insistent on.

- Her fussing with your hair or clothes. It’s just a force of habit for her.

- She always notices when you change something about yourself, no matter how small it may be.

- Getting called “honey” a lot; it’s her go to pet name.

- Getting and sending candy grams around the holidays.

- Always knowing all the gossip.

- Random phone calls when she wants to excitedly tell you something.

- Long conversations. She doesn’t get to talk a lot during the day so she sorta explodes with you sometimes.

- Being somewhat accepted into the clique after she accidentally blurts out that you’re dating to Regina. Although, you’re only truly accepted after you get a makeover.

- Karen’s sort of like your adorable airheaded daughter. You both look after her.

- Teasing. She likes making you flustered.

- Sticking up for her.

- Using her made up slang.

- I’m sorry but your girlfriend cannot keep a secret for the life of her so try not to tell her yours.

- She always wants you to confide in her when you’re upset about something. She’s eager to have you tell her everything that’s happened.

- She likes being able to comfort you and jumps to do so pretty much instinctively.

- She sort of follows you around like a lost puppy most of the time. She just can’t help it; it’s what she’s used to.

- Chick flick movie marathons.

- Sleepovers.

- Doing each other’s makeup and nails.

- Going to the hair salon with her.

- Eating lunch together.

- Going shopping.

- Your stuff is her stuff, her stuff is your stuff. The two of you practically share everything.

- Expensive gifts. She’s rich so getting you jewelry and designer clothes is like nothing to her.

- Going to parties with her.

- Beach dates.

- Getting reservations at expensive restaurants.

- Going on vacations with her and her family.

- Carnival dates. She gets so adorably excited whenever you win her a prize.

- Letting her rant to you so that she doesn’t have a full blown meltdown in public.

- Promising not to tell when she lets something slip to you.

- She gets jealous fairly easily so don’t be surprised when it happens. She’ll borderline hysterically ask who that is you’re talking to or asks if you don’t love her anymore or if you want to date them instead. She doesn’t do it to be manipulative either, she just genuinely thinks you want to dump her.

- She’s more protective behind the scenes, warning you about people and telling you that you shouldn’t hang around them or spreading rumors about someone who hurt you.

- You don’t fight a ton but whenever you do, expect to have three way call attacks to see what you say about the situation or to have the plastics on your ass until you resolve things.

- She chases after you and all but forces you to talk to her after you’ve had a fight. She tells you she’s sorry and asks if you forgive her in a high, emotional voice. You always do, giving her a hug and saying you’re sorry as well.

- She says “I love you” a lot, always sweetly and meaningfully. She likes hearing you say it back and being reassured that you do.

- No matter what happens, the two of you stick together, knowing that, through rain or shine, you love each other.

[neighborhood-goblin]

Lmao remember that COF College AU

Finally decided majors and details for some of the characters I plan to include XD

My first time using a cut lol

Tristan

Business Major 

Cassian absolutely wants him to inherit the family business

Tris isn’t so thrilled by that

Sev and him are roommates

Neither of them can cook anything other than ramen or pizza rolls

Sometimes they order pizza

Disaster bi on so many levels

Went to one GSA club meeting but then noped right back into the closet

Not out to Cassian or most of his friends yet

The only person who knows is Sev

Has a brown tabby cat named Rex

duh

lmao going back through there’s like nothing here

they def got longer as they went on

Nyk

Linguistics, Interpretation, and Translation Major

(In HOF she is really interested in the Pyrean language and lore so I thought it fit)

Was homeless for a while

Ran away as soon as she graduated high school

(She couldn’t be around Val any longer)

Applied for a lot of scholarships and was able to gather enough money to attend college

Roommates with Sparrow

Helps Sparrow get to her classes sometimes

Elliot, Riella, and Kade come over to their dorm a lot

Elliot cooks for them

Probs gonna be bi and genderfluid in this au

Has a calico cat named Xephyra 

Phyrie for short 

Is a part of the GSA club

The GSA club consists of Anders, Elliot, Sparrow, and Kade

Sev

Fine Arts Major

Is really good at drawing but also likes painting and sculpting, too

Roommates with Tristan

Would rather die than ask Tris to get something off of a high shelf for him

He’s 5′3″ (160.02 cm)

Def petite

Tris put a whiteboard on the fridge to write shopping lists on but now they both just use it to write notes to each other

“Saw u staring at Nyk earlier HMMMMMM”

“stfu like you weren’t ogling that dude she was with”

Disaster gay but everyone just assumes he’s straight like ????

After his parents died he bounced around a few foster homes but was adopted by a doctor named Hestia when he was fifteen

He loves his mama and visits her on weekends

The food he brings back to the dorm is the only good stuff he and Tris ever eat

Knows Kade but only a little

All of my modern Sev hcs still apply

Kade

Veterinary Medicine Major

Shares the same major as Sparrow and they’re decent friends

He helps Sparrow get to the classes they share when Nyk can’t

Loves animals and is planning to adopt a doggie soon

Roommates with Elliot and Riella

He lived in a really crappy place before he became friends with Riella

The sibs invited him to move in with them (Kade also obviously helps with rent)

Became good friends with Nyk and he and the sibs spend a lot of time at her/his dorm

Used to shadow Hestia at the clinic (before he decided he wanted to be a vet and not a people doctor) and she gushed all the time about her son 

He met Sev and def thinks Sev is adorable 

Has also seen Sev around campus but hasn’t worked up the courage to talk to him yet

Demi and gay

Is a part of the GSA club

Thinks Anders is funny

Almost no one agrees

Elliot 

Culinary Arts Major

Idk it just came to me and I was like “might as well”

Cooks for Riella, Kade, Nyk, and Sparrow regularly

Has a golden retriever named Jax

Jax is crazy

He gets the zoomies

Jax is usually wary of strangers but he’s warmed up to Riella, Kade, Nyk, and is close with Sparrow

Aroace

Attends GSA

Regularly tells Anders where he can shove his musical numbers and snide comments

Roommates with Riella and Kade

Took online classes until Riella graduated so they could move together

Met Kade through Riella

Can’t handle spicy food and is appalled by the fact that Kade, Riella, and Sparrow are all fueled by eating the spiciest things possible

Refuses to eat anything with pepper on it, but keeps a shaker for his friends and sister

Nyk and him bond over being unable to tolerate anything hotter than a hot tamale candy

Likes driving

Owns a minivan

It’s unclear as to why he needs a minivan he just has one

He named it Elliot jr. as a joke once but now no one lets him forget it

Is super ultimate BFFs with Sparrow

Helps her around campus when Nyk and Kade can’t

Sparrow 

Veterinary Medicine Major

Nyk, Kade, and Elliot help her around campus (still blind and thriving)

Owns a parrot named Chirp and guide dog that everyone is 95% sure is just a wolf that Sparrow illegally bought a service animal vest for

No one knows the name of the dog

Sparrow claims that Chirp can talk but only does it in front of her

Sometimes Elliot will also claim that he’s heard Chirp talk but no one can tell if he’s telling the truth or not (He’s not even sure at this point)

Lesbian ace and is highkey dating Riella 

Elliot pretends it annoys him but secretly he’s thrilled because he adores the both of them (he’d never reveal this but Sparrow knows anyway)

Attends GSA

Brings her animals

Chirp usually just sits on her shoulder, and the dog at her feet

Has super unruly hair

Only a select few are permitted to touch it: Elliot, Riella, and Nyk

Nyk will braid it sometimes, but Sparrow usually likes to have it free 

Roommates with Nyk

Nyk decorated their room super cute, fairylights strung all around it and polaroids on the walls (though I guess she can’t see them rip)

Nyk loves Sparrow’s animals, and the animals get a long great with Phyrie (except for one time that Phyrie attacked Chirp but that doesn’t happen anymore)

Riella 

Dance Major

Not much is known about Riella but I just thought this’d be a cool major for her

idk she gives off ballerina vibes for some reason

Sapphic and dating Sparrow

Roommates with Elliot and Kade

All three of them share a bookshelf and love talking about books

They also play video games a lot together

Minecraft is not a competition but do not play with the three of them they will win

They share an ACNH island on the switch they pooled money for

Loves having her hair in french braids

Nyk usually braids it for her before classes

Ig Nyk just braids everyone’s hair smh

Wears rompers everywhere

Met Kade when a creepy dude approached her on her way to a class and Kade pretended to know her to get her away from the creepy dude

He started walking her to that class just in case and they became friends

Anders

Performing Arts Major

Super dramatic and way into theater

Has been out of the closet for years as genderqueer and pan (Prefers he/him pronouns; he’s used them all his life and he’s used to them)

Goes to GSA club and loves telling obnoxious stories

Has hinted at being in a relationship but no one knows who it is, and the club tries to find out sometimes (It’s Latham)

Grew up with Latham and they started dating when they were seventeen

Latham isn’t out of the closet yet, so he asked Anders to keep it a secret

Anders doesn’t mind at all, he’s just happy to be with the boy he loves :)

Was a part of marching band in high school, and still practices his trumpet in his free time

Regularly texts everyone a gross amount of emojis 

Latham and him moved in together when they graduated and started going to college

Latham does all the cooking

The last time Anders attempted to cook anything, the pan caught on fire (the cooking pan not Anders) (XDDD) (I think I’m hilarious) 

He’s not allowed to cook anymore

They each have their own beds but usually sleep in the same one when they don’t have guests (they are both huge cuddlers) (Anders is the little spoon)

Has a pet snake because he lives to be extra (It’s a ball python)

(I can’t remember what Anders’ phoenix is named so the snake is nameless for now)

Latham

Pre-Law Studies Major

Wants to become a lawyer

Absolutely talks crap about everyone he knows with Anders

Identifies as queer but is closeted

His family are all very religious and anti-LGBTQ+ so he’s scared to come out to them

The only person who knows is Anders

His father in particular scares him

His dad really doesn’t approve of Latham being ‘friends’ with Anders, ever since Anders came out publicly

Is decent at cooking (nowhere near as good as Elliot)

Doesn’t have a lot of friends

Kind of knows Tristan and Elliot but not really

Has a Pomeranian named Xane

He’s obsessed w/ little dogs 

[busterkeatonfanfic]

Chapter 8

Buster woke the following morning feeling like hell. His nostrils were so stuffy he could barely breathe out of them, his nose was on fire, and his mouth still tasted like blood even though he’d brushed his teeth twice before bed. He stumbled to the bathroom to look at the damage. Two small purple bruises underscored his eyes and the bridge of his nose was swollen to twice its size. His appearance confirmed that canceling filming had been the right decision. He swallowed some aspirin, cleaned his teeth again, and took a shower, letting the steam open his clogged sinuses. 

The aspirin barely touched the pain. He toweled off and pulled on a dressing gown, then poured himself a breakfast whiskey to go with the steak and eggs he ordered. Once he’d eaten, he called Nate. To his relief, he was patched over to her line; she hadn’t left for Sunday brunch at Dutch’s yet. 

“Hello?” she said.

“Hi, how are you?” he said.

She told him that she was well. 

He said, “I broke my nose in the game last night.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. How?”

He explained the eighth-inning fastball to the face. “But we won the game. 9 to 6.”

“Did you?” she said. “That’s too bad about your nose though. I’m sorry, darling.”

She sounded suitably sympathetic, but he craved more. He wanted the soothing, the I’ll-be-right-there, the kissing and canoodling. 

“How are the boys?” he said.

“The usual,” she said. “Full of the devil.”

“Good,” he said. “I won’t be filming for a few days because of my nose. You should really consider bringing them up. They’d love the steamboats and I’d like you to see the set. They say the shopping is good in Yolo, too.”

“Oh Buster,” she said, her tone telling him the answer was already a big fat no. “You know I’d love to, but six hours on a train is too much for them, don’t you think? I know you’re disappointed, but we must think of what’s best for them. And wouldn’t they be in your way? I’d have to bring Connie to mind them, and I think four is getting to be a crowd. I don’t suppose your suite would hold another four, would it?”

“Nate, you don’t have to bring the governess. I think you’re perfectly capable of managing them for a few days, don’t you? We can get a second suite or even a third, if that’s what has you concerned.”

“I’m flattered by your faith in me,” she said with a little laugh, “but you’ve never traveled with three- and five-year-old boys! I know I’m letting you down, but it’s only another month, isn’t it? Five weeks tops? That’s really not so bad when you think of it.”

“Yeah, it’s not too bad,” he said, echoing her hollowly.

“I miss you dreadfully,” she assured him, before launching into a story about the picture Dutch was filming and the party she intended to throw with her sisters at the Villa next weekend. He listened with only half an ear. He wasn’t surprised about her answer to his proposal, but he still felt lousy.

Since Bobby had been born and Nate had booted him out of the bed, he’d accepted that his needs would have to be satisfied by other women. He knew that Nate hated him for it, even though he’d stuck to his original promise and been the soul of discretion. In spite of her rejection, he still desired her and wanted to win her back, but the most she would ever permit was necking and light petting. If he so much as thought about taking things further, she’d squirm out of his grasp. He just didn’t understand, even three years since he’d last made love to her, why he couldn’t have both a wife and the rights that other husbands were entitled to. He’d gone over it in his head a thousand times. Was he a bad lover? Was it her upbringing? Peg’s sermonizing? Her religion? Could she be a lesbian? He didn’t know and God forbid he even try to broach the topic. She’d give him such a withering look before she stalked out of the room that he felt like he ought to be thrown in jail on charges of sex depravity for even mentioning the idea. 

Divorce was out of the question, naturally. There were relationships to preserve: the one with Joe for starters and those with his famous sisters-in-law. He didn’t trust that Nate wouldn’t try to keep the boys from him, either, if he tried to end it. He could just hear her saying to some attorney, ‘Well, he doesn’t see them much anyway.’ In the meantime, all the saphead could do was to keep trying vainly to find that opening in his wife’s affections. Casting her as his leading lady hadn’t worked. Building her a little love-nest, then a great big love-nest, hadn’t worked. He’d recently decided that maybe a real honeymoon instead of the post-nuptial cross-country train trip that had masqueraded as one might work on her. He figured deep down it wouldn’t change her mind, but still he had his foolish hopes. 

When Natalie was done prating, he told her he had to get ready for lunch with Joe and said his goodbyes. There wasn’t any such lunch, but he no longer wanted to talk. 

He ended up spending the afternoon at the new zoo, disguised by a fake moustache, a tweed cap, and jumper vest that constricted him in heat on what was already a sweltering day. It worked, though. No one looked twice at him. The zoo was a disappointment. To begin with, it was extraordinarily tiny, but more importantly most of the animals featured—deer, wild turkey, raccoons—could be seen if you just sat in a Muskegon tree long enough. The most exotic offering consisted of some listless-looking monkeys in cages. A pack of adolescent boys thumped on their wire enclosures and screeched at them to perform. “Pick on someone your own size!” he yelled at them, and they scattered. The monkeys blinked back at him, not seeming to care one way or the other. 

He did have dinner with Joe that night at the Italian Restaurant in the Julius Hotel. As Buster tucked into his truffle tagliatelle, Joe dropped the bomb. 

“We can’t have the flood sequence.”

Buster laughed. “It sounded like you just said ‘We can’t have the flood sequence,’ Joe, but I don’t think I heard you right,” he said, and took a bite of tagliatelle. “Good one, though.”

“I’m not kidding. Think about how it’ll look. You’ve got a river that’s supposed to be the Mississippi—”

“Sacrasippi,” Buster said, lifting his eyebrows.

“Cut it out,” said Joe, frowning. “I’m trying to be serious. You’ve got a river that’s supposed to be the Mississippi and it’s supposed to flood. Well, you know as well as I do that hundreds of people just lost their lives in the Mississippi floods.”

“Since when do you care?” said Buster. If there was one thing he’d always liked about Joe, it was that he let him alone and let him make the pictures his own way. Something about this smelled fishy.

“It’s in poor taste. It’s not going to get laughs, it’s just going to bring bad publicity. I don’t want it to flop. There’s too much money in it.”

Buster set down his fork. Two words had stuck out: publicity and money. “This is Harry, isn’t it?” he said, narrowing his eyes.

Joe gave a slight wave of his hand, dismissing the comment. “Now don’t go blaming Harry. I happen to agree with him. It would be a risky thing, and God knows what it would cost to pull it off anyway.”

“Well that god damn bean-counter,” said Buster, anger flaring. “We’ve already got everything set up for a flood! The entire god damn picture is about a flood. That’s the entire point!” Joe looked at him with a firm expression. “I’ve made up my mind. We can’t do a flood.”

“Well, we may as well can the whole picture then,” Buster said. “All my best gags are built around the flood. I can’t just start from scratch.”

“Look,” said Joe, continuing to eat his own meal. “We’re talking about lost lives here. You can see that, can’t you?”

“Horseshit,” said Buster. “Remember Chaplin’s picture Shoulder Arms? The ink wasn’t even dry on the Armistice when he released that. I remember ‘cause it was the first thing I saw after I got back from France. Everyone loved it. No one was thinking about how many soldiers had just gotten their heads and legs blown off in the war, they just knew a funny picture when they saw one.” He clenched his left fist in his lap. 

“Why not try another disaster?” Joe said.

“Like what?” he said. He stabbed at the pasta with his fork and took a bite without pleasure.

“I’m not the brains here.”

“What, like a cyclone? Joe, I bet you tornadoes and hurricanes kill more people each year than floods. Sure we wouldn’t get bad reviews and angry letters from folks whose families have been killed by tornadoes?”

Joe waved his hand again. “A cyclone sounds just fine. Anything that’s not a flood, you can do.”

It stunk to high heaven as far as Buster was concerned, but he knew Joe well enough to see when he’d made up his mind. He finished his tagliatelle in silence and didn’t even pretend he was willing to pick up the tab when Joe went to pay. He took a taxi back to the Senator and went to bed early, tossing between the sheets and stewing about his lost flood. There were butter cookies in the brown paper sack making dark greasy spots on its sides. Nelly stood outside Buster’s dressing room, her heart racing with the memory of what had happened last time she’d stepped inside it. Before she lost her nerve, she tapped on the door. 

“Come in!” called Buster. 

She slipped through and closed the door. He was sitting at his table again, not in costume today but wearing dark slacks and a long-sleeved blue jacquard shirt with faint stripes.

“Hi, it’s Nelly,” she said, by way of greeting. 

“I haven’t forgotten your name,” said Buster, one corner of his mouth quirking. “What do you have there?”

She stepped a few feet forward and extended the bag. “I made you cookies.”

He looked from the bag to her as he took it, surprised. “What did I do to deserve such an honor?”

“I heard you broke your nose,” she said. Indeed, she could see up close that his nose was swollen near the top and there were small faded bruises beneath his eyes, not noticeable unless you were next to him.

“So you baked me cookies.” He peeked inside. 

“Yes. I wanted to thank you, too,” she said, feeling the full ridiculousness of her gesture. “For taking care of me last Friday night.”

“No one’s ever made me get-well cookies before, not even my own mother. I’d just get cod-liver oil, even for sprains.” He sounded pleased.

“How’s your nose?” she said, as he bit into a cookie. 

“Hurts like the dickens,” he said, chewing. “I’m hoping the swelling will go down by Friday so I can start filming again.” He didn’t remark upon the cookie as he finished it, but she noticed he pulled another out of the bag. “We’re doing the night scenes soon.”

She was still a little fuzzy on Steamboat Bill’s plot, but this week’s filming had involved hundreds of local extras, and the grander of the two steamboats was piloted up and down the river, belching out huge plumes of black smoke. She’d taken a break to watch the spectacle. The crowd’s enthusiasm for the steamboat seemed real. The whole set certainly looked real thanks to all the props down by the riverside, the small boats, the large pennants reading KING, and the patriotic bunting draped on storefronts. Buster had been on hand near the cameras helping direct, but hadn’t noticed her in the throngs.

Buster went on. “I’ve got this publicity man who says I can’t have a flood because of the lives that were lost when the Mississippi flooded, so we’re changing everything up for a cyclone.” She marveled a little that he was telling her anything about the production, but tried not to show it. “I wondered what those airplane propellers and big motors Bert had me order were for,” she said. 

“These are good,” said Buster, pulling a third cookie from the bag. “Remind me to get hurt more often.”

“Or rescue foolish girls from themselves more often,” she said. 

“It was nothing,” he said. 

“It was something to me.” 

He considered her as he started on the third cookie. 

“Anyway, I already took lunch. I’ve got to get back to the shop,” she said.

“Okay,” he said. 

She had her hand on the door when he spoke up again. 

“Why that Shrew play, anyway? Why not Juliet?”

She turned back and looked at him, thoroughly confused. She had no idea how he knew about one of her dearest and closest ambitions.

He noticed her puzzlement and clarified. “You said your dream was to star in that Shrew play. Why? Why not Romeo and Juliet?”

“I don’t remember telling you that,” she said, feeling abashed

“Well, don’t get bent out of shape about it, I was just asking,” he said, a little defensively. 

“No, I’m not bent out of shape, I’m surprised,” she said, as she faced him. “I don’t remember saying that. I’m afraid of what else I, uh, might have said that night.” She cringed to think of what else might have come out of her mouth. “I hope I didn’t beg you for a break or anything.”

He regarded her with a calm expression. “You didn’t. I’d still like to know, though.”

“Well, Kate has a mind of her own. She wants to control her own fate. Marriage isn’t for her,” she said, conscious of how clumsy her words were. “She’s fun to play. Romeo and Juliet is a little boring.”

In truth, it was Katherine’s spirit which she loved, the rebellion against her father and Petruchio, and hang the end of the play. In her experience, the audience never remembered the end of the play, only the beginning and middle where Katherine was at her most defiant and fiery. 

Buster nodded, elbow on the table and finger sliding absently under his lip. The silence stretched on for long enough that Nelly said, “Anyway, I’ll see you around.”

“Thanks for the cookies,” Buster said.

Note: It’s easy when writing a fiction about Buster Keaton to cast Natalie Talmadge as a villain. I prefer to listen to Buster’s granddaughter Melissa Talmadge Cox who points out that the divorce is ancient history and that fans should get over it! Even though I’m writing a story that is obviously canon divergent, I always remember that Buster lived happily ever after with Eleanor Norris Keaton and considered himself to have had a lucky life with very few dark spots. Why did Natalie put a end to her sex life with the gorgeous, winsome Buster Keaton? I think the likeliest explanation is that she just wasn’t attracted to him or simply didn’t like sex. I do think Buster really loved her too and wanted things to work out, which is why their marriage lasted as long as it did. I’ve tried to convey that with this story. Also, I’m with Natalie. Trying to travel hours on a train with two young rambunctious boys sounds like a nightmare, even with a governess.  And yes, the Keaton governess was also named Connie, not to be confused with Constance “Connie” Talmadge, who was also frequently called Dutch. Finally, with a lot of digging through newspapers I learned that the date Buster broke his nose was July 30th, 1927! So the first scene takes place on the 31st. The second occurs on Wednesday, August 3rd.

[dipplie]

This is how I cope don’t @ me

1: Top 3 pets you wish to have Bunny, Mouse, pet bee 2: Top 3 Disney Movies Tangled, Zootopia, and a close tie between The Princess and the Frog and Wreck it Ralph 3: Top 3 OTPs Nick and Judy (I’m not a furry), honestly probably the other pairings from my 3 (4) favorite movies like Felix and Calhoun or Tiana and Naveen or whatever 4: Top 3 pick up lines Pick me up- no literally please just carry me around like sweep me off my feet no like ACTUALLY like ju- 5: Top 3 summer activities Lying in the grass, listening to music on the swings, drinking from the neighbors sprinklers because you didn’t bring water on your walk 6: Top 3 school memories    -Once in 5th grade we were doing an egg drop, and I put mine off till the day before, so my parents just gave me a jar of peanut butter, and I just put the egg in the jar, and when they dropped it from the school roof it exploded all over the pavement and left a stain for years.    -Another time in 9th grade, a couple friends and I wrote a giant “send nuds” in the snow beneath my friends next class’s window, and some other kids took a picture of it and spread it around, and like the whole school was talking about it for a day or two (though we denied it was us so we didn’t get in trouble).    -And in 12th grade the last day of the 3rd semester, my AP Psych teacher said “you know you guys might not come back after spring break since the covid-19 virus might come to America.” And half the class was like: “I hope so we don’t have to come back haha.” And then we went into lockdown for a year 7: Top 3 things you find attractive Being looked at, Being talked to, Being touched at all oh my go d 8. Top 3 shops I dunno man can I say Build-a-Bear Workshop I’ve never been there 9: Top 3 romantic dates Theme park, Aquarium, Build-a-Bear Workshop 10: Top 3 drinks Milk, Milkshakes, the color purple 

11: Top 3 spices/herbs oh my god im too white for this question I think doritios are spicy, SALT 12: Top 3 apps to use not tumblr 13: Top 3 months of the year not winter 14: Top 3 clothing items Skirt, Bows, Thigh-highs 15: Top 3 kinds of flower Daffodils, Buttercups, Dandelions (yes I’m aware they’re a weed) 16: Top 3 Christmas movies Home Alone 1, Those stop motion rudolph ones, the original grinch 17: Top 3 things you don’t/Won’t miss Angsty middle schoolers, Angsty high schoolers, Angsty people 18: Top 3 games Minecraft, Stardew Valley, All the Zelda games between 2002-2009 19: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows I really don’t watch actually T.V. shows I just watch anime sometimes maybe and youtube series man 20: Top 3 kinds of candy Butterscotch, Chocolate coins, Those little pebble chocolates that looks like fish tank rocks 21: Top 3 ways to exercise/be active Well I have an answer, but I don’t think I can say it~ 22: Top 3 spirit animals (I’ve heard something about this being possibly racist so I’ll approach this wish caution) Bunnies, Lambs, a pet rock 23: Top 3 petnames Honey, Muffin, Sweetheart 24: Top 3 places you’ve been to A yearly carnival my old town had once a year, Disney World even though I almost drowned there, The Arcade in my old town called Bananas 25: Top 3 most used websites Youtube, Tumblr (regrettably), Pintrest 26: Top 3 people you last texted My boyfriend, my friend, my co-worker friend 27: Top 3 hashtags you use imagine using the tags how they’re supposed to be used 28 Top 3 items you can’t leave the house w/o clothes (i’m really funny) 29: Top 3 guilty pleasures I write self-insert sometimes I guess 30: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take Psychology, Sociology, certain art classes 31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle My OC’s, My friends, inappropriate stuff 32: Top 3 aesthetics Cottagecore, Bloomcore, Wonderland 33: Top 3 things you’d buy if you gained three million dollars Pretty things, Cute Clothes and stuffed animals, therapy 34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself Buying pretty things, Wearing cute clothes and holding stuffed animals, therapy 35: Top 3 cartoon crushes Kyoya from OHHC, Mako from Kill La Kill, Marceline/Marshall Lee 36: Top 3 things to do in the snow Draw in it, make snow sculptures, eat it 37: Top 3 accents to hear Russian, Spanish, idk spanish 2 38: Top 3 scents Vanilla, Cream, Strawberries 39: Top 3 things to do in the rain Sit in the car quietly, make out probably, cry 40: Top 3 cupcake flavors Chocolate, Chocolate 2, Chocolate 3 41: Top 3 fruits Cherries, Strawberries, Grapes 42: Top 3 holidays to celebrate Halloween, Christmas, Valentines 43: Top 3 embarrassing moments My friend jokingly revealing my weird self insert fanfic I wrote in middle school (that was gross don’t ask about it) to my friend group, getting a constant D- in AP Stats the whole semester and the whole class secretly knowing about it, wearing an oversized minecraft shirt in my 6th grade school picture 44: Top 3 crayola colors Seafoam, Canary, Cotton Candy 45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college Get back into theater and actually be included and noticed, not cry in the bathroom, feel cared about by my classmates 46: Top 3 fanfictions you’ve read don’t ask me that you can’t ask me that the last fanfics i’ve read were in middle school  47: Top 3 people you miss right now My boyfriend, Two of my friends GJ, my dopamine  48: Top 3 fears Being hated, Being alone, Being abandoned 49: Top 3 favorite literary devices (oh god it’s been a minute hang on) Alliteration, Juxtaposition, Colloquialism 50: Top 3 pet peeves Saying one thing and doing another, trying to act like you’re being the bigger person by not choosing a side, constant self deprecation 51: Top 3 music artists AJR, 3OH!3, Fake Type 52: Top 3 bad habits BFRD OCD, speaking before I think, lately I’ve been lashing out  53: Top 3 ice cream flavors Cookie Dough, Bubblegum, Cheesecake 54: Top 3 meals you love Bread and cheese, cheese with bread, I like dairy and bread 55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime Where are we going, What are we gonna do, what are you doing onii-chan (im so sorry) 56: Top 3 dog breeds Small, fluffy, actually a cat 57: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood The Amazing World of Gumball, Courage the Cowardly Dog, y’all remember Might Bee??? 58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak Better French, More ASL, I guess Spanish would be useful 59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) I like the first couple Saw movies but then it went kind of downhill, I eventually stopped keeping up with SU ad AT but they have lesbians now and we love that, and I guess I read Warrior Cats in middle school. 60: Top 3 pizza toppings Cheese, ???, that’s all I need 61: Top 3 youtubers you’re subscribed to Markiplier, Erolds Story, Wilbur Soot 62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas Little Flower earrings, Little flower tattoos, Little flower stuff 63: Top 3 awards you want to win love trust and affection  64: Top 3 emojis 🍄🐝🍋 65: Top 3 things you’d do differently have different parents 66: Top 3 places to be in the world In love, Back up, Purgatory  67: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid Lack of responsibility and pressure, Mental illness, Lack of shame 68: Top 3 baby names Penelope, Theodore, Sofie 69: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors Grape, Strawberry, Cherry 71: Top 3 turn ons People being patient with me, People treating me equally, Being touched kindly at ALL 72: Top 3 turn offs looking like Tyler1 73: Top 3 recipes you want to try Sugar spice and everything nice 74: Top 3 dream jobs Primary School Teacher, Child Consoler/Therapist, I dunno being a storytime animator sounds nice... 75: Top 3 lucky items Fidget Toys, Stuffed Animals, Random Office Supplies (you know the ones)

[insufferable-know-it-all-blog]

A Ranking of the Gayest American Girl Dolls

When it comes to lesbian subtext in the American Girl series, there's so much to unpack. Today I'll be discussing the 6 girls I deem the gayest.

Honorable Mentions

Felicity

Tomboy and horse girl. Has a companion doll. She hates learning etiquette. The Jiggy Nye redemption arc in her series is better than Snape's redemption arc, in my opinion. You may think she’s gayer than an honorable mention, but I think her traits read as “see this is a good and interesting colonist! She’s not like other girls uwu” as opposed to gayness. I am open to debate on the matter.

Addy

Her stories are much higher stakes than most of the other dolls', so the most time we have for subtext comes in her short stories and in her relationship with her friend Sarah. For example: 

An enemies-to-lovers fic where Addy and Harriet are grown up could be veeeery interesting though.

Certified WLW (women-loving women)

6. Molly

Molly's lesbianism is more quantifiable than some of the other dolls. Some contributing factors are:

- bad at math

- lots of internalized self-loathing

- obsessed with her teacher Miss Campbell/daydreams about how pretty she is/snoops into her love life

- her OUTFITS

5. Josefina

Josefina Montoya is a Historical Doll (now called BeForever) from 1824 living in what would later become New Mexico. She's a soft girl with aspirations of becoming a healer. She's scared of goats and has a cool aunt, Tía Dolores.

Much of her stories revolve around adjusting to life after the death of her mother, and her relationship with Tía Dolores.

I don't want to gloss over this: there's a lot of discussion (in the stories and in the historical information at the back of each book) of colonialism and America's treatment of the west and those who live there.

There's also a fair amount of domestic tasks, playing music, and admiring flowers.

tldr; Josefina was the original cottagecore lesbian

4. Julie

If Molly's gayness isn't quite subtext, Julie's is canon. She's so lesbian-coded by way of lesbian stereotypes that I'm surprised a pride flag doesn't come with her accessories.

Julie petitions to join the boys basketball team, becomes an environmental activist, runs for student body president, and attends a Presidential debate. Her mom also has some very gay vibes, being a recently-divorced woman starting a career by opening a resale shop.

Julie lives in 1970s San Francisco and uses her privilege to lift up the voices of others and hold those in power accountable. Julie and her pet rabbit said gay rights.

3. Lindsey

Lindsey is the first Girl of the Year, released in 2001. She was also the first Jewish American Girl Doll. The title of the second chapter of her book is "What a Mess!" A mood. She’s not as well known so I’m going to fill you in a little bit more than with other dolls.

Lindsey is a flaming ball of chaos that ruins everything important to her family (according to herself.) Her story kicks off with her being disgusted to learn that her school is holding a "pet parade," which entails dressing pets up in human clothes and parading them around. She prepares a speech for her class to tell them off, but her teacher shuts her down. Lindsey doesn't take this well. She snatches an iguana and climbs up a tree in protest.

She plays the trumpet in her school band. One day she asks her band teacher if he has a girlfriend and she's very sad to learn he's single. How can he be happy without a woman to take care of him? Projecting much?

Lindsey also befriends a girl who is often bullied in school, cries in the bathroom (a gay ritual), and is told by her uncle, while dancing at her brother's bar mitzvah (post-Matzo ball food fight) that she is not a worm, and despite her chaos, is very loved.

Lindsey knows what she values and will throw food at your face or climb up a tree if you disrespect her. She also craves validation because she feels like a failure due to her unconventional approach to life. A lesbian icon in the making.

2. Kit

Kit spends six books telling you to fuck off with your gender roles, thank you very much. There's a lot of focus on Kit's life as a reporter and what her growing up during the depression will mean for her future expression of identity.

One part of her books that highlights Kit's relationship with gender roles and heteronormativity is when Ruthie reads fairy tales because she likes princesses, but Kit reads Robin Hood because she likes how he steals from the rich to give to the poor and tricks a sheriff. While Kit could become a case of "I'm not like other girls," I think this is avoided by her close friendship with Ruthie. She doesn't necessarily look down on traditional women's roles, she simply has other ambitions.

So yes, this part of her story is important, but what really sells it for me is her longing for adventure and her passion for baseball and Amelia Earhart.

Also? Her bomb outfits.

At one point, Kit gets anxious and hides under her porch. A lesbian oasis.

Kit is a practical and clever young lady with a bright future ahead of her. Keep up the great work, you icon.

1. Samantha

I have read, with my own two eyes, people calling Samantha a homophobe. Please.... I am so tired. Do not underestimate her like that. Let's dive in to the biggest lesbian of the bunch: Samantha Parkington.

Okay so first of all her series begins with her falling out of a tree and sassing her sexist Grandmary. From there, she grows close to Cornelia, her Uncle's girlfriend, who is involved in the fight for women's rights in the city. Samantha is heavily influenced by her and through the books, develops many of the same opinions.

When an Irish girl (Nellie) moves in next door to become a servant to Eddie Ryland's family, Samantha befriends her and teaches her to read. She never speaks down to Nellie or looks at herself as a savior, she just acts on what she thinks is right. The "Looking Back" sections of Samantha's books cover topics like social progress for women, the wealth gap, the treatment of servants, and the disparity in education between classes.

While Samantha follows in Cornelia's path, she also forms her own ideas. For instance: Samantha wins an essay contest with her essay on progress in American factories, and why America is excellent for such progress. When she shows Nellie her winning essay, Nellie tells her that it doesn't represent the truth of factories. Samantha sets out to uncover the truth about child labor that many Proud Americans have kept hidden. She decides she can't read her winning essay, so she changes it and calls out those who condone unfair labor in factories.

Samantha respects every person she comes across and always sees herself as an equal, not a superior. (Except her asshole neighbor, Eddie Ryland. He can choke!) Like Julie, Samantha uses her privilege to bring accountability to oppressors and fight for what's right.

Samantha loves women and won't rest until they all live safe, healthy, and happy lives. She questions the status-quo. She seeks revenge on the men who have made girls' lives hell. And she really loves her Uncle Gard and Aunt Cornelia. And climbing trees.

I imagine Samantha growing up and moving to New York City, hanging out in lesbian-owned speakeasies, and becoming a Mae West stan.

I'd love to hear your thoughts about American Girl subtext on twitter! If you enjoyed this article, please share it with a friend or two! Thank you for supporting an independent writer and American Girl stan.