#lephy speaks

[lephalacat]

More Oswald & Proto

Both of them: "He just like me... He just like me FR"

[lephilodi]

Settling In (D&D RP Ch. 3)

We set out shortly after I had gathered what was important to me, namely my books and the various pieces of literature I had...kept in my possession from home. I tried to get them to wait until dark, but they were rather insistent on leaving as soon as possible. I suppose I will have to come back for my aquarium, mushrooms, and other belongings.

It was today I learned that Luciel is actually a bard of the College of Creation, as he produced a parasol for me out of thin air. Very courteous of him. It was only a few hours to get to their town thankfully, but upon my insistence, they took me to a relatively safe place in the forest not too far away, where they had stashed some strange vehicle of theirs and covered it in vines. Then they were off to celebrate their victory, leaving me alone again in the ever-darkening wood.

I watched as the stars slowly began to appear from the skies. Some of my people despised them, but I always found them to be beautiful. After all, life has no color without light, leaving creatures pale and blind...

Pale and blind, just like the one who had ruined my life. Erebossk.

I truly try not to let my thoughts linger on him. I chose to leave that life behind, thanks to help from a friend. I try to reminisce on what he taught me, rather than what I had lost.

Thankfully, sometime after the midnight hour had passed, Kala and Luciel emerged from the shadows between the dark trunks. I floated down from the top of the vehicle to greet them, but something was clearly bothering them. <I didn't expect to see you back already.>

It was Luciel who spoke first. "Heyyyy Lephi. We have a question for you."

Something is definitely off. What happened in town? <Alright... go ahead.>

Luciel hesitates for a moment again before speaking. "What's a spelljammer?"

I immediately straighten up, rooted to the spot. <Well, I know you can't read or understand Qualith. And I doubt you knew that word before. Can you tell me where you learned it?>

Both the elf and the firbolg simultaneously answer, "No.”

Okay, this is immensely suspicious, and I don't like it. I'm praying to Ao that I won't have to wrestle away Luciel's bag of holding, as it currently had my books, star maps, and schematics inside. <Very well. Spelljammers are ships designed to travel between planes and through realmspace. Even to other crystal spheres. Does that satisfy your curiosity?>

Kala spoke, "For now, yes."

“We were also told some...things, some negative things about you. But we don’t believe they’re true.” Luciel looks up at me, but I can still see some uncertainty in his eyes.

<Well, in that case, it’s probably all true.> I won’t deny what my people are, what we do. What I did.

Kala steps forward again. “Well, we don’t believe them. Not when it comes to you.”

<I appreciate that young ones. But I can see you are tired. You should go and get some sleep.>

The pair eventually went back into town to rest after checking on me. I got as comfortable as I could in the seat on top of...whatever this device is, and decided to rest with one eye open tonight.

Thankfully the next morning, the whole party seemed much more chipper, though Galvar seems to be suffering from a bit of a hangover. Kala removed the plants and vines from the strange conglomeration of devices below me, revealing some sort of crab tank with a set of four ballistas attached to the top, and I realized with some concern that I had been sleeping in the hot seat. Luciel crawled into the tank portion to pilot it, while Kala crawled up to the seat where I was sitting and deposited herself in my lap. She had in hand what appeared to be two halves of a coconut and began clapping them together as we began moving, somehow accelerating the pace of the whole group. Must be some strange magical item. We set off before the sun gets too high in the sky, headed north into Neverwinter Wood.

By mid-afternoon we arrived at a very run-down manse in the middle of the forest. Pumpkin patches surrounded a large house completely covered in ivy. It looked certainly worse for wear, especially with a boar's head carved into the front door. I close my eyes and open up my psionic field to get familiar with the small region around the manse as the others go over their plan on how to get rid of the gulthias tree in the manse's well, sensing four beings of low intelligence within the manse, likely the vine blights they speak of.

I follow as they head inside, floating over the broken wood of busted down doors, and out into the courtyard of the manse. Before me was indeed a well, from which great, thick vines erupted, spreading out across the flagstones. I readied my whip just in case, as I could sense the creatures down inside the well.

Luciel created a great length of chain from thin air with his magic, slowly lowering it in a circle all the way around the tree. And... Ilsensine above, Crete is flying.

I look over to Galvar to see him grinning up at the minotaur. I suppose he learned a new spell. Kala has her flame scimitar at the ready, and they begin the attack.

Combat with the blights is mercifully short and swift, leaving only the tree in their wake. The caster's flame-based spells making short work of the tree, even if Crete's halberd sent blood-like sap spraying everywhere. Finally, Kala casts her own Blight spell, and the tree withers away to dust, leaving the well empty.

<Well, I think this place could use a serious clean-up.> I pull the dehydrated cleaning cubes from inside my sleeve, going to the kitchen to submerge them in water and set them to work.

I come back out to the courtyard to the other four discussing what to do next.

"I think it would make the most sense for Crete and I to go to Neverwinter, so we can sell our loot and see what we can have made with the dragon parts," Luciel explains. “And we’ll look for some builders to fix this place up and maybe set up some outbuildings. Plus I have this sweet stuffed winter wolf head we found to give to Falcon, since he seems to really like stuffed heads of sentient beings. Y’know, just a nice gesture from the new neighbors.”

Oh I really don’t like that. I’m all for keeping repurposed skulls for pots, but at least those were once my food. I lessened the amount of waste from my kills. But I’d rather not have my own head on this...”Falcon’s” wall.

Kala’s also speaks up, “And I’ve got that spider silk weave I commissioned at the Coster to go pick up in town.”

“Then I’ll get started on that secret room for Lephilodi that we were talking about at the bottom of the well!” Galvar says cheerily. “Is that alright with you Miss Lephilodi? We thought it would be the best way to keep you safe when the builders are here.”

<Oh, I see. Well, as long as I have a bed and some space, I suppose it can’t be much worse than Axeholm. And I prefer to be awake at night anyways.>

“Aye! And we’ll set up a hidden door as best we can so no one can bother ye!” exclaimed the dwarf.

<I suppose that will do for now. Thank you.>

“In that case, we’re off!” shouts Luciel jubilantly, as he turns Crete into a giant eagle in front of my very eyes.

Crete plucks up Luciel in his claws and they soon are out of view beyond the trees.

Well that was interesting...

Kala shape-shifts into a wolf and heads for town while Galvar lowers himself into the well to start excavating. I decide to make myself busy and check on the cleaning cubes. They’re not too far along yet, but this will give me time to look around the house.

Unfortunately, the roof of the kitchen is caved in, and the doors on the lower level are all broken for the most part. Most of the furniture is broken, so I do my part and toss all the unsalvageable wood outside with telekinesis. This feels like settling into Axeholm all over again. However, I am delighted to find a laboratory, a library, and a bathing room that still has warm, running water. That’s good, I’ll need a bath later once this room is cleaned as well. There is one master bedroom along with what likely used to be an apprentices’ bedroom, though the latter had a giant hole in the floor and was even more filthy than the prior rooms. Thank goodness the cubes work quickly.

Towards the end of the day, I sense Kala return from town, and I go out to meet her. Galvar comes back out of the well and goes inside to wash up for a moment. Good, I’ve been wanting to ask Kala about something.

I try to speak with my gentlest voice. <Kala, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Are you...okay? You seemed even more upset than Luciel last night, and...when we first met I could tell you were trying to hide a secret from me. But I did not pry because that is not my place.>

Kala looks up at me swiftly. “Oh! Yes, well...I’m not a firbolg. I’m a changeling. I’m fine now, I promise. It’s just that some things that we were told about you, I’ve also heard said about my kind. That’s why I was upset.”

Ah. So that’s what this one has been hiding. <I see. I know little of your kind personally, but I can assure you I have no qualms against you. After all, that would be rather hypocritical of me wouldn’t it?> I project some amusement to help put her at ease before Galvar comes trotting back outside.

With Kala’s help and her Stone Shape spell, they are able to work a bit longer. I decide to head up to that much needed bath as they do so. Thank Ilsensine, the cubes are finished in here. I draw the warm water and strip out of my cleric’s robes. Even with the ivy blocking the windows, I can still see just fine in the darkened room...and I can still see the scars that criss-cross my light skin. Some were accidentally self-inflicted, learning experiences on my body from my time studying how to use a blade-whip. Others...were not. I try not to dwell on them as I sink into the tub of warm water, and I let out a physical sigh of relief. It’s so hard to stay hydrated when you don’t produce your natural mucus anymore. A symptom of my strange diet, but maybe after eating the dragon’s brain, my skin will start slicking down again. But until then, lotions will have to suffice. I soak myself for a while, occasionally shifting to get everything in contact with the water despite my height, before getting out and doing my skincare routine. I put my dampsuit back on afterwards and then my robe, stepping back out of the steam-filled bathing room only to be met by Galvar.

He snapped and pointed his forefingers and thumb towards me, shooting me a wink before he drawls out, “Lookin’ good.”

I immediately feel my face flush white. Was that a compliment???

Galvar immediately started freaking out. “I am so, so sorry, it was supposed to be a joke! I didn’t mean to freak you out!!!”

<G-Galvar, it’s just blush. We blush white, it’s okay. I just...I think it’s time we all get some rest...>

[cksmart-world]

The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

July 21, 2020

THE PLAN: NO PLAN

Wonder what the Trump administration's plan is for battling the Covid-19 pandemic? The plan is to have no plan, explained NYU journalism prof. Jay Rosen. He spelled it out: Let daily deaths of two to three thousand become a regular thing and then create confusion about who is responsible. Tell the governors they are in charge even though they can't do the necessary things that only the federal government can do. Blame the virus on the Chinese and overwhelm the system with disinformation, distraction and denial in what Steve Bannon calls, “flooding the zone with shit,” aimed at preventing the public from understanding the consequences of inaction. As Dave Eggers explained satirically in The New York Times: “Plans are for commies and the Danish. Here we do it fast and loose and dumb and wrong, and occasionally we have a man who manufactures pillows come the White House to show the president encouraging texts.” And while everyone is preoccupied with Covid-19, Trump will continue his agenda of clamping down on immigration, enriching big business and himself, breaking down public institutions, consolidating power and whipping his base into a frenzy. Now that's a plan.

BYU: BIGOTS & BUILDINGS

The Black Student Union at BYU (we are not making this up) has called on the administration of the LDS flagship university to take the names of any racist church leaders from campus buildings. But the higher-ups are balking because if they did that many of the structures wouldn't have names. For example, the chemistry building is named for the late LDS President Ezra Taft Benson, who, according to Salt Lake Tribune ace Courtney Tanner, said civil rights for Blacks was a “communist deception.” The campus fieldhouse is named to honor another LDS president, George A. Smith, who once said: “Negroes are not entitled to the full blessing of the gospel.” The embarrassing list goes on. But here at Smart Bomb, we convened religious experts from Murray pool halls who found the perfect solution — name the buildings for people in The Book of Mormon. The fieldhouse could be named Nephi, the founder of the Nephite people. And the chemistry building could be named Lephi, who was Nephi's father. Other buildings could be named for Nephi's sons, Laman, Lemuel and Jacob. It would be perfect and would also enable BYU's football players to learn about Mormonism when they ask questions like: What is a Lemuel?

A TALE OF TWO COUNTRIES

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. No wait, check that. It was the worst of times and no one knew how things got so screwed up. There was a Red America and there was a Blue America and they had little in common although both sides liked chips and salsa. Red America loved guns. Blue America hated guns. Red America hated abortion. Blue American loved a woman's right to choose. Red America loved big, loud Harleys. Blue America liked cute, little scooters. Red America loved diesel pickups with rifle racks. Blue America liked hybrids with climate control. Red America loved Bud and Coors. Blue America would drink only craft beer in chilled schooners. Blue America wore masks in public to be responsible. Red America spewed virus droplets and yelled something about the Constitution. Blue America carried hand sanitizer and did social distancing. Red America went to bars to pick up chicks or dudes. Red America loved Trump and the confederate flag. Blue America wondered what in the hell was going on inside Red America's head. It was the worst-est of times.

Post script — Well history buffs, you should be taking notes because it's not often that shock troops, like the S.S., swarm an American city. In Portland, Ore., protestors, along with Mayor Ted Wheeler and Gov. Kate Brown, were wondering who in the hell are the anonymous security forces in combat dress without insignias jumping out of unmarked vehicles to mug protestors and whisk them away to who-knows-where. But here at Smart Bomb we knew it was the Fuhrer who had unleashed his secret police on those anarchists and commie thugs. The Fuhrer had warned that if Portland didn't stop the vile revolutionaries from demonstrating, he would. (And remember, this has absolutely nothing to do with politics.) Suprise — the blitzkrieg isn't working — it's actually escalating the unrest. People once on the sidelines have joined protestors to push back on the gestapo invasion. Perhaps if Donald Trump showed up with a Bible things would get better. And speaking of freedom fighters, our brethren and sisteren in Utah County made national headlines for rebuking the hoax of coronavirus and freedom-stealing masks that liberals and medical types are foisting on them in a brazen attempt to steal the country from the righteous. Some people, like The Salt Lake Tribune's clairvoyant Robert Gehrke, say it made Utah the laughing stock of the nation. But according to our sources here at Smart Bomb, the Travel Council will use footage of the screaming lunatics to market Utah in other like-minded red states whose citizens yearn for freedom from tyranny with the slogan, “Life Elevated & Unmasked” and “Rock Your Face.”

In honor of John Lewis, we've given Wilson and the band the day off and offer “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley, one of the civil rights icon's favorite poems:

Out of the night that covers me,

   Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

  For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

  I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

  My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

  Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

  Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

  How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

  I am the captain of my soul.

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

How about the RFA + Minor Trio belly dancing in belly dancing outfits? ;)

***Sometimes I really question where you get these ideas Lephy >.> lolol

Imma say that MC and the character have gone on vacation to the Middle East and are visiting a belly dancing class complete with outfits and the MC really wants them to play along. Have a uh…blessed time enjoying these ~Let’s Connect! FFC***

Characterbreakdown: Good ending canon characters, Secret ending 02 Saeran, V from theoriginal routes with an operation to restore most of his sight, my version ofVanderwood as seen in my VanderwoodBackstory Fanfiction

V:

Okay, so he wanted to try out other cultures, but this is not what he meant

When you offer him the outfit, he politely declines, but you start puppy dog eyeing at him so…alright what harm could it do?

He puts it on, fully expecting to take it off again immediately, but you launch yourself at him in a glorious glomp of giggles

V is happy to have made you so happy, though when the belly dancers offer to teach the two of you how to dance, he tries to convince you to allow him to change clothes but the puppy dog eyes again

And that’s the story of how V belly danced in a belly dancer outfit

-

Saeran:

No. N. O. No.

Pretending to cry, puppy dog eyes, begging, none of these things will convince him

This is more his brother’s thing, and that just makes him that much more vehemently opposed to the idea, until Seven appears- promising to belly dance with you- that spurs Saeran’s jealousy

So fine.

He does the belly dancing lessons, but refuses to put on the outfit

-

Vanderwood:

Fuck that noise

No literally, it’s noisy in here and it hurts his long-damaged ears from all those times he’s shot a gun in places that amplified the noise

Trying to convince him to do anything is pretty difficult when he’s already this irritated

Of course, he wants to make you happy, but you’re going to have to put up with him just watching you have a good time, because the only way he’d ever get on a stage and belly dance let alone in a belly dancing outfit would be if someone had a gun to his head

Quite frankly, he’d rather tase himself to death; you look damn good. though, so he’s gonna enjoy the view

-

Jumin:

Sure, he’s been to countries where belly dancing is popular many times, but he’s never had time to actually go sightseeing or be a tourist

All of his travels are normally spent in board meetings or on private lands with the client

Upon hearing that belly dancing in full costime was a commoner thing in this country, he is interested to try it

His only stylistic complaint is that the garb is somewhat feminine and doesn’t come in his favorite pinstripe style

This man has no shame when it comes to trying new things, although he looks at it like a research project rather than having a good time

-

Jaehee:

Oh dear…that’s a lot of skin to show, and it just doesn’t seem appropriate, especially with her chest size

Still…this is your vacation, and you seem so eager to experience this with her

She struggles a little to make sure her bandeau stays up and supports her well gifted chest, even worrying more than once that it is slipping, but she’s surprisingly good at this

It seems Jaehee has many talents that just haven’t been nurtured since she never really got to explore the world

-

Zen:

He doesn’t mind at all, and of course he’ll just look ten times as exotic in a belly dancing outfit anyway

With all of his dance training and talent, he just blows the other belly dancers away

Some of the other students start asking him for tips and advice, to the point that the belly dancing instructor just leaves, and Zen is loving the attention too much to notice, whoops

If he’d noticed, he’d only have felt guilty for a moment before being amassed upon again by the crowd

It’s almost impossible to leave after your class, because everyone is crawling all over him and wanting him to stay

-

Yoosung:

This doesn’t seem all that fun to him “Y-you go ahead, MC, I’ll just watch.”

He has to admit that you look amazing in your belly dancing outfit, so much so that he almost gets a nosebleed

The puppy dog eyes, the constant asking him to join you, Yoosung looks from side to side, wanting to make doubly sure that there’s no way the RFA and especially Seven would ever know about this, then he finally agrees

It’s not that he’s so embarrassed, he just wants to make sure that everyone doesn’t get confused about how manly he is

Unfortunately for Yoosung, Seven had hacked into a security camera at the belly dancing place, and now that’s going to be the talk of the chatroom for a while…Seven never misses a chance to tease Yoosung

-

Seven:

He demands to put on a female belly dancer’s outfit almost as soon as you’ve entered the establishment

How the Hell is this guy so fluid and graceful with his hips?

Has he…actually been practicing belly dancing already?

I mean, he speaks fluent Arabic, and he must have gotten enamored with that language somehow…

It only makes sense with his penchant for crossdressing and his interest in this country’s language that he was well aware of belly dancing already and took to it like a fish to water

Just…it’s unfair that he’s better at it than you

-

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[lephalacat]

Girl who got her identity stolen (denied) meets plumber who got his identity stolen (literally robbed by a ghost)

(Below is the original game dialogue ^^;)

Anyways I'm glad one of my old favorite characters got a clearer description of her lore :D

[lephalacat]

Hmm- a stray doodle bc I'm pondering on drawing the eyes of characters whose eyes aren't shown...

No seriously, Vivian threw me a huge question, how the frick do I draw eyes of a shadowy creature girl

....... My heart is sliiiightly pointing at the no-eyes one.

[lephalacat]

If I had a nickle for every time I felt robbed of precious game content by the rating system, I'd have two nickles.

Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[lephalacat]

Can't believe they made the "Year of Shadow" a real thing, LOL.

[lephalacat]

Tfw you create a fictional world and a main plot for your protagonist, but then you start to unintentionally focus on a certain side character that somehow ends up with a whole bunch of out-of-text lore

And somehow said side character gets even more of a character development than your protagonist

And the side character gets more and more screentime, and a whole lot more effect on the main plot. You, the author, have no control over it when it happens... It just happens

They are somehow one of the fan-favorites now, maybe even moreso than your protagonist

And at this point, you can’t keep track of their lore. When and how did the side character get developed this much in their separate plot? How did they turn into this specific archetype of character? No clue. You only know that somehow, they did

You don’t even know where they currently are in the fictional world. They’re probably just going wild somewhere

-----

The kicker:

The side character is currently creeping you out, going on about how they must “keep the wheel turning,” also they might heavily dislike you

[lephalacat]

I love the moments in TSP when the Narrator gets SO frickin' sarcastic, that he convinces HIMSELF. With his own sarcasm?

...Idk, that character trait of his is super endearing to me.

Cases in point :

The Games Ending, when he genuinely begins to see the 4-hour-Baby Game as a work of art

The Press Ending, when he genuinely begins to see Stanley as a frickin storyteller and sets up a whole stage for him, telling that he's proud of him and cheering him on

The Skip Button Ending, when he literally pretends to go off on a long rambling monlogue, only for him to start thinking it was a "meaningful" treatise(or manifesto)

The Tape Recorder Ending, when he makes himself feel sad with his own sarcasm while trying to insult Stanley's intelligence (and then blaming it on him because of course he does)

Most of the Bucket Endings...? (Maybe?) (What even is the Bucket) (Like is it actually alive and filled with dark force, or...??)

(I know maybe it's him/the game mocking us until the end, but I think it's funnier to imagine that he frequently, accidentally convinces himself whenever he gets caught up in his own train of sarcastic thoughts)

[lephalacat]

Y’know, while watching Sonic Prime (season 2), I continuously noticed the conflict that occurs when characters use the same word in the same conversation while each of them thinks of a different meaning.

Specifically, the word “real”. Two meanings of the word “real”. It’s both used to say that something is (1) what it is expected to be, or that it is (2) within the realm of existing reality.

(Example: Margarine. It’s not real(1) butter. But it’s real(2), since margarine very clearly exists in the field of reality.)

“Real” is an ambiguous word. Thus, noticing what each character means to say when they say something is “real” or “not real” is probably gonna be pretty important. Regarding their views and their conflicts.

[lephalacat]

I’m laughing so hard right now, it’s Stanley Day... And Clock-0ut Narrator is outright having a Bad Time while the Stanley Parable Narrator is having a Good Time

One of them is living the best life(literally having a pool party) while the other is not, and it’s at the same day, and I just find it hilarious-

[lephalacat]

...Uh, just a small detail in Ultra Deluxe.....

Anyone else couldn't help but pause, when they saw this soap dispenser tube in the New Memory Zone?

How does Stanley or the Narrator even use this thing, do they wash their hands with this and it automatically enhances their memory, or do they rub it on their head or drink it or something?

...

Also why isn't it called the "Memory Enhancer" or something like that

[lephalacat]

Accidentally stumbled across the song "Circles" (by EDEN) while watching PA custom levels,

Now half of my brain's been chanting "STANLEY PARABLE" for three hours straight.

The other half has been chanting "STANARRATOR"

(...Cases in point, some of the lyrics from Circles:

"And if I told you how this story ends, would you change a step you take? And if I could relive all of my days, I'd live them all the same."

"A lifetime in repeat."

"...When it's wrong, and we ain't been right for years."

"'Cause this is my life, I will not run in circles, ending where I start.")

[lephalacat]

...Just had a random Stanley Parable thought:

The Skip Button Ending, but what if it worked like... A certain room from the horror game OMORI. (...OMORI fans would know which one I'm referring to.)

Like,

You keep pressing the button until it breaks, but the room itself doesn't tear down. It doesn't let you out. After the button breaks, 'someone' asks you through a messy writing on the wall,

"Waiting for something to happen?"

...And THEN you realize that restarting has literally been the only option for you to escape. Also that you'd made the Narrator suffer for absolutely no frickin reason lol. Also, no desert at the end means no catharsis factor for anyone involved. At all.

(Whether he remembers the resets or not, is, well ... :p)

[lephalacat]

??????????

What this