#leone kill that dilf

[whos-hotter-jjba]

Hottest JoJo Character Bracket - Match 1-11

[citrine-elephant]

hey who wants dilf leon tied up and squirming again

[mamirhodessxox]

Daddy Dearest <3

—————————————————

Girl dad!Leon x Mom!Reader

Blue for Leon pink for reader & purple for D/N

Desc: Despite his career path Leon has been developing pretty well to his girl dad life & revolves entirely around world around his wife & sweet little angel babygirl

Tags: Tooth Aching fluff, Dilf Leon, No smut ‼️‼️‼️, Just dad Leon living his dream! No use of y/n, D/n stands for Daughters Name

I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated!!!

——————————————————————

Leon Loving his life was an understatement, He was a miserable guy not so long ago but it all changed once he met you & had his very first child! Of course after first he was worried about being a deadbeat father, but eventually he suited up and prepared for everything was to come, dropped his drinking habits, went to therapy for most of his trauma from working on the most messed up cases world wide known to mankind & even baby proofing the entire house you two shared for over 4 years.

He even went out of his way to take random target trips with you during your pregnancy to stare at nursery furniture and random trinkets and toys he found, holding up gender neutral baby clothing before knowing the gender & asking “you think this is cute sweetheart?” It was amazing how he became so obsessed with the thought of having his own little family with a white piket fence & beautiful front lawn garden (He started gardening as a coping mechanism which would soon be one of his top hobbies he brought onto his daughter.)

During the gender reveal he was nothing but pure excitement and joy to have a little baby girl that the next day he even went back to target and came home to baby-proof the entire house, testing objects to see if they would fall on a random baby doll etc, so much so that you had to go downstairs at 12 am and force him to take a break and come to bed, “You don’t think she’ll hit her head on the table one day right? I really wouldn’t want my little princess to get hurt” “I think you need to put down the baby proofing tools for the night & actually come to bed hun, it’s almost 1 o’clock”

Some days you would be in pure anguish because D/N would be doing pure gymnastics in your belly that Leon had to ‘have a talk’ but most of the time during your pregnancy he was always talking to your tummy, Asking her to relax on the jumping around in there, Sometimes waking up super early in the morning to talk to your belly & sometimes waking you up & hearing you tell him off a little bit in a muffled voice since you were buried in your body pillow. “Hi babygirl, you excited to get outta there & see your new room? Yeah? Oh I know your excited angel but you can’t keep kicking mama like this sweetheart it hurts her!”, “Can’t keep jumpin’ around in mommy’s belly sweetness your driving her insane sweetheart” “oh yeah!?You excited babydoll?” “Good morning my sweet girl, I can’t wait to see you y’know, mommy & I are so excited to meet you & hold you & love yo-“ “Leon what the hell are you doing awake at 5:30??” “Uh oh I woke up mom” “leon I swear to god if you don’t go back to sleep.”

And then came along the arrival of his awaited babygirl, he was so excited he even set up a little mini red carpet infront of her nursery & stars next to the door & even putting a little sign on your guys’ front door in bold glittery pink ‘Welcome Home Princess D/N” He even brought a little camera to make a home tape for every memory he makes with you & your daughter so when she is finally old enough she can watch, this tape includes her birthing where your shouting & screams could be heard such as “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT LEON!!” “I’M GONNA KILL YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SLEEP!”& his light crying of when she was born

After your daughter was born it was extremely difficult for you two to set a fair sleep schedule so for the first few weeks Leon would wake up at 2:30 AM whenever D/N was crying on the baby monitor and move the rocking chair placed in her room right next to the crib “What’s the matter sweetness? Can’t sleep again? I know babygirl it must be so tough trying to get your little beauty sleep huh?” He would slip his hand through the little bars of the crib and smile giddily every time she would wrap her little hand around his thumb, growing up was the most difficult for him, he cried every-time his sweet angel took her first steps, said her first word which was obviously a strained “da-da” which was to be expected since D/N was a total daddy’s girl. most of the time when he was off he would let you go to work so he could spend his days with your guys’ daughter, take her to the petting zoo, a random aquarium where she discovered her favorite animal was a sea horse, Leon’s entire existence revolved around D/N to the point where if her little fist was directed at something she wanted he bought it, she starts crying? He jumps right up to take her off your hands so you can relax, his entire world was revolving around her & you loved to see it, sometimes when you got home from work you’d see Leon on the living room floor with your daughter as she babbled playing with a random stuffed animal monkey “Hi honey, Took her to the petting zoo today, we discovered she really loves monkeys”

Some mornings when you would all sit at the table eating before the day started Leon would watch her in her high chair chew on whatever she had in-front of her causing a small mess where he would chuckle & clean up after her “Your just one messy little girl huh princess? Gonna have to teach you manners now little lady.” And then came the day where she got her very first booboo, I’m sure you can imagine what happened, Little D/N was running around the backyard chasing a butterfly while you & Leon just finished harvesting this falls apples and then randomly you heard a tiny little wail behind you causing Leon to jump up from the ground and scoop up his baby girl “Baby she has a cut on her knee we need to take her to the hospital now! Get in the car!” “Honey I think she’s alright nothing a little rubbing alcohol & a band aid can’t fix.” When the two of you went inside and into the bathroom he sat on the edge of the bath tub and sat little D/N on his knee while you rubbed some alcohol on her knee which reasonably made her wail out more than she did beforehand causing Leon to start tearing up and kissing the top of her head “I know angel I know it hurts but we can’t let your lil’ booboo get worse & nasty now can we?” Once you finished that 1 minute of anguish you two sat in the living room holding her close as you slightly teased Leon for his light crying “You love making daddy cry now don’t you honey? You know you have him tied up around your little finger huh” You joked while Leon grunted while worryingly making sure she didn’t hurt herself again

One day you caught him in her room when she was around 4 years old having a little tea party, he was sat in a chair next to her that was far to tiny for him to fit in as he wore a pink tiara around his head that was again to tiny for him & a pink fluffy tutu around his waist while fake sipping tea from the tea cup while causing her to giggle, You had just gotten home from work & leaned against the doorway smiling and holding in a laugh but Leon smiled back and stood up and had the tiny chair stuck on his ass causing you & D/N to laugh obnoxiously especially after he eventually was able to pull it off and walk over to you mumbling “shut up.” Before kissing you lightly & asking how your day went. Obviously because of his career he had to miss some important events at school for D/N and he felt AWFUL. He cried in your arms one night after returning from a 1 week trip where he missed father daughter school day where he imagined his poor babygirl sitting at her table in kindergarten watching everyone else with their dad while she had a confused expression. And every single night after that for a month straight he would have little sleepovers in her room where he read her bedtime stories, you know that one 3 little kitties book from despicable me? He obviously read that to her with the brightest smile on his face and once it was time for bed her would sleep on the floor right next to her toddler bed “Goodnight babygirl, daddy loves you so so much y’know that? You got his heart right in your little fist”

By the time she was 10 he was always helping her with school projects & homework & even going to father daughter dances with her, if

D/N wanted something all she had to do was ask and bat her little lashes, some days when he went to go pick her up from school with you in the car he would see her talking to a boy before running off to the car leaving him with a puzzled face “who the hell is that little twerp near my daughter? She does know he is not good enough for her right?” “Nuh-uh Leon, Don’t start let her have friend alright?” “Sweetheart just look at the little shit! He’s practically blushing looking at her right now!” “Oh stop it.”

Just imagine what it would be like when D/N is finally a teenager and brings a boy home for the first time..Leon makes it VERY clear nobody is good enough for his little girl & never will be, he is the entire reason why her standards will be extremely high…

xtripleiiix’s Masterlist

🏷️ List: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert

[otherworldlylovey-dovey]

elloo. man, i read your Leon Kennedy headcanons and god, my heart!!! 😭😫 did you know that in r2 leon is late to his first day because he was drinking due to his girlfriend breaking up with him the night before? yeah! that crazy girl broke up with the blonde hottie! so, headcanons of a female s/o who is Leon's coworker who tries to comfort him that day about the breakup? it happened a long time ago, he's a dilf now...but i still feel like he needs support 😥😥 thank u

Of course I can, honey.

Headcanons: Consoling Leon Kennedy amidst the chaos of Raccoon City

Because if anyone needs a hug and a cup of tea after a bad day, it’s our beloved Leon S. Kennedy! Here are some headcanons in which the reader, as a coworker and friend, tries to comfort this poor, tired pup… I mean, rookie cop, while they survive the zombie apocalypse of Resident Evil 2.

When s/o meets Leon at the gas station, the first thing she notices is his sad puppy expression. And of course, being a good companion, she throws him a “Rough first day, huh?” He, between nerves and adrenaline, says that, in addition to dealing with zombies, his girlfriend broke up with him just before his transfer to Raccoon City. The reader, trying to cheer him up, says something like:

“Look, Leon, if someone left you just when you were about to become a hero, they don’t know what they’re missing.”

And so, our baby policeman lets out a smile so bright that for a second we forget that we are surrounded by the undead.

As they manage to escape in the patrol car towards the city, Leon tries to joke around in an attempt to stay sane:

“You know, I didn’t think my first day would include… this”

he says while vaguely gesturing towards the horde of zombies and the chaos surrounding them. O/s , with a smile, replies:

“Well, in this city, anyone would be willing to kill themselves for someone like you next to them.”

And so, between jokes, poor Leon begins to relax a little, even if it’s just for a few seconds… until a zombie crashes through the windshield and they both come back to reality.

During a respite in the laboratory, when they are both on the verge of collapse, Leon seems to be processing not only the horror around, but also the last weeks of his life. When talking about how Raccoon City arrived, he ends up releasing a small lament about his recent break and how he thought that at least his new work would help him clear … until, well, all this happened. o/s, trying to keep the mood, he replies:

“Who needs to clear when you have zombies and mutant experiments, huh? Nothing like apocalypse to overcome a break. ”

Leon laughs and thank him for trying to lighten the environment. His expression is now a little less bleak, and it is clear that, with his support, he no longer feels so alone.

When they finally manage to escape on the train, they both feel relieved but exhausted. Leon, with a tired but determined expression, comments the ironic that all this madness will begin with a break and end with, well … hell. O/S, who for this point has earned a phd to encourage Leon, gives him a soft pat on his shoulder and says:

“If this does not make you the most coveted single in the department, nothing will. You are a hero, Leon! ”

He looks at her, smiling tired, and whispers a "thank you" that really says everything. And so, between jokes and hopes of a better future, poor Leon finally feels that everything was worth … or at least, that he will not be alone in what comes.

------------------------------------------------------------

Because Leon deserves someone to make him see how incredible he is, even on the worst day of his life (and in a city full of zombies, of course and how he could be the most emotional welcome to his first day I end up in shot cranks) .

I say, just look at it! The young Leon had a baby's face and a good boy, take care of it, Fella! It is a sugar terroncite that is corrupted in the next games

[tireddovahkiin]

Just finished watching Katana ZERO and HOLY FUCKING SHITLORD.

MY BRAIN- I feel like I got high, then a concussion, and then finally watched this game. The writing is INSAAAANELY good. Legendary, even.

The game itself is just plain art. The gaming style, animation done so smoothly even though its all pixelated, THE SOUNDTRACK, the CHARACTERS MAN- EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM are so cool. Despite having maybe short screen time in the whole game.

But ya know as always, yo girl has another favorite villain character mmmhmmm🥱 Leon Von Alvensleben. Man who appeared for maximum five minutes in total, and managed to make the fandom obsessed with that lunatic.💀

(But he serves cunt and is gorgeous dilf material)

I already drew him two times already😭 YEAH HES AN OBSESSION YOU COULD SAY THANKS TO MY FRIEND AT UNI👹

BUT FIFTEEN TOO THOOO... He so fine. A mysterious assassin who enjoys killing and was created to be a machine for the Government, who knows wants revenge, with a long ponytail, badass powers, goes with the alias 'The Dragon'? Sign me in🤑

I still have so many questions tho, who are the masked men? Who's that little girl and why didn't anyone else see her? I'm still kinda confused😭

ALSO WILL THERE BE A SEQUEL? PREQUEL? ANYTHING? This cannot be the end, they DID say 'To be continued'... I'M TRUSTING YOUR WORDS11!1!1!

[saotoru]

Wait... Elaborating on what anon said bout the bodyguard au for our lovely sunny boi Leon

What if he had feelings for his client too? Like imagine behind closed doors he's all lovey dovey and just gives her gentle touches everytime and every second of the day (cuz I wanna be in his chonky arms and bite him in a loving and affectionate way)

And when they're sleeping, it'll be on the same bed and all with him still being all touchy which gets her all pent up then decides to punish him 😈😈😈

Was thinking of blindfold and maybe tying him up and teasing him, maybe giving our handsome dilf Leon blue balls, edging him for quite some time and he just couldn't handle it anymore so he just cums anyways

Then she punished him even more and instead, overstimulates her poor bodyguard, riding him as he babbles about wanting to touch her and when he cums inside her, she makes him lick up the cream pie mayonnaise he squirted inside her and he cums from that too

And the fact that she blindfolded and tied him made him even more sensitive and fun to tease

And now I present to you some GIFs for everyone's imagination 😈

you’re killing meeee!!! one bed trope with body guard leon omfff you’re a genius!! him begging to just be inside you when you’re supposed to be sleeping :( just the tip, he just wants to cockwarm, please please please princess :( and flipping the switch from edging to over stimming him hard mmhm <33

[shitshowkb]

okay so i haven't watched in MONTHS but i just spent the last few days binge watching season 2 so as per usual here are my reactions throughout the ENTIRE season. i need season 3 like yesterday.

✧ fire country - season two reactions below the cut ✧

• i'm still mad that bode's ass is back in prison and i get that he did it for freddy but i'm still mad about it

• ope there's my favorite dilfs

• FUCK SLEEPER

• also if B doesn't get out of prison soon i'm gonna RIOT

• also can we please tell bode he has a kid, maybe he'll get his shit together and act right

• earthquake and a fire, let's goooo

• "but now i got me a knife" boy if you don't stop i stg

• you have got to be shitting me omg

• ambulance guy is kinda fine 👀

• not this idiot stitching himself instead of going to the infirmary

• i KNEW gabs had a thing with the medic

• tell him jake 👏🏼

• this shit is stressing me out

• if bode kills him, he's fucked

• oh great another earthquake

• man i knew it was gonna come down to bode saving this asshole

• "us being the next vince and sharon" gabs you barely even know this man

• bitch!? AN ENGAGEMENT RING

• MY MAN IS BACK AT THREE ROCK, LET'S GOOOOOOO

• oh my god AWKWARDDDDDD

• "i'm so happy for you" lying ass

• sharon on a motorcycle? that's HOT

• man i can't wait to see bode being a dad

• drunk kids doing drunk things, gotta love it

• shar gotta get it together, i get that she's pissed but come on

• fire below, fantastic

• come on gabs

• this shit is always so stressful

• OH SHIT, OH SHIT

• i KNEW vince was gonna hit him

• man i just need vince and shar to make up already

• not liam being the drone operator guy

• fuck him up vince

• "you won't break this family, but you will help keep it safe"

• man i love bode

• this whole little village of people are gonna cause some bullshit, aren't they?

• oh shit

• OF COURSE the cars are on fiRE

• this is intense

• god i love these leone men

• liam shut the hell up dude

• thank god eve and manny made up

• gabs baby that man is so in love with you, please pull your head outta your ass

• "you met a girl" HIS DAUGHTER DUMBASS

• these two idiots

• damn sharon looks FINE in that outfit 🥵

• idk man i can't see gobs being happy anywhere besides 42

• "no manny, i can't be your date to jake's wedding" 😂

• man i feel like that reaction was a little much

• like they were just helping that little girl???

• and now bode can't see gen??? that's some bullshit

• i don't like chemical fires, too many unknowns

• of course there are people trapped

• bode with this little girl, y'all he's gonna be such a good dad 🥹

• trouble in paradise

• oh dear god where does an explosion always gotta be eminent

• man i like cole, i hope eve changes her mind about him

• OH MY GOD

• OH THANK GOD

• eve better not send cole back to prison

• lmaoooo diego is pissed

• eve come on

• oh my god no

• a fire tornado!? seriously!?

• i am STRESSED

• this is crazy

• besties we're in a wooden shack in the middle of a FIRE TORNADO, we can't stay here

• cara better not die man i stg

• hell yeah eve

• holy shit

• oh my god NO

• i'm sobbing wtf

• this is not okay

• man gen better be bode's daughter

• man i do not like this shit

• why is bode always in some crazy ass life or death situation

• fuck him up mickey

• BODE'S NOT HER DAD!?

• WHAT THE FUCK

• this show just stays pissing me off

• having them build a fence around fire camp makes me so sad for them

• and it makes me so sad that bode can't be at gen's guardianship signing thing

• manny perez is so mf fine

• why is everyone so pissy about the fire camp now??? it's always been there and they've never bothered anyone so stfu thanks

• eve baby, you gotta chill out a little bit

• what the fuck oh my god

• and now the guardianship signing is postponed, greatttttt

• i don't like how any of this custody stuff is going down

• look at gabs killing it on her first day as medic

• hell yeah eve, tell em 👏🏼

• oh here we go

• this damn show either has me stressed tf out, crying or pissed off i stg

• you have GOT to be shitting me

• NOT VINCE, PLEASE NOT VINCE

• oh thank god

• man i think jake is gonna be a great dad, but this makes me so sad for bode

• because i know he's gonna be an AMAZING dad

• WHAT THE FUCK SHUTTING DOWN THREE ROCK!?

• vince and manny are my favorite bromance

• dammit vince

• gabs please talk some fucking sense into vince

• oh gabs mom is gorgeous

• i don't know if i like gabs mom yet, pls hold

• oh good lord, can we not have vince's life on the line again!?

• vince leone you stubborn idiot, please go fix your heart issue

• dammit vince COME ON

• MOTHER FUCKING UNCLE LUKE

• HE'S THE ONE WHO RECOMMENDED CLOSING THREE ROCK!?

• someone beat his ass i am BEGGING

• when i said someone beat his ass, i DID NOT mean set the firehouse on fire in the process

• "my boy's a poet" i love cole

• "I will get you to that fire" hell yeah you will

• so gabs and diego aren't actually gonna get married, right?

• alright campaign fire i already know this shit is gonna be intense, let's gooo

• "promise me you won't die" this poor girl

• bode is SO mf fine

• gabs is insane bc i'd be climbing that man like a tree

• if vince doesn't tell bode and sharon what's been going on with him i stg

• manny what the actual fuck are you doing!?

• i feel like gabs should just beat vince and manny's asses, they need it at this point

• billy burke playing his guitar, god bless 😍

• these two idiots LOVE each other come on

• tell him eve 👏🏼

• i'm glad gabs told bode but i fear that shit is not going to pan out well

• manny and gabs made up, time for vince to stop lying to shar

• "we're trapped" vince i stg

• OH AND THE FUCKING TREMOR IS BACK

• fantastic. great. wonderful.

• besties i am going to lose my shit

• dammit vince don't you fucking give up

• i am ✨stressed✨

• NOW KISS

• YASSSSSSSSSSSS

• "another bad decision" bitch shut up you love him

• THREE ROCK WILL REMAIN OPEN

• HELL YES

• A WARRANT FOR MANNY'S ARREST!?

• is this a fucking joke!?

• BUT WAIT does this lead to INMATE MANNY!? because i lowkey wanna see that

• now where the fuck is manny? please tell me he's not this stupid

• don't you fucking run manny

• MY MAN GOT THE EXTRAORDINARY CONDUCT CREDIT

• LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO

• MY MANS IS FINALLY FREE

• last episode let's gooooo

• gabby baby pls don't marry diego

• man i think eve would kill it leading all the fire camps but i don't think she wants to leave her people and edgewater behind

• and jake becoming an inspector?

• nah baby, bode is getting out and i need him to fight fires at 42 with his people

• vince and shar are so happy 🥹

• OMG FREDDY

• bode baby please avoid that man like the plague

• gabs sent bode the exact donut he was just talking about getting the next day? SOULMATE SHIT

• "it's just a donut" is it bode, is it really??

• the leone men out here cleaning firetrucks because they can't run calls, i love them

• manny what the fuck are you doing sir??

• bode baby please don't fuck this up

• explosion at the hospital, here we go

• ugh i love this man

• and he was literally born to be a firefighter

• if he doesn't get to be a member at 42 i'm DONE

• cole out here making some damn good points to eve

• "aw honey, you waited up" lmao i love bode and freddy

• "first 72 are up. you stayed out of trouble, now you need to start some." freddy i love you

• "go get your girl bode"

• bode out here on a mission to FUCK SHIT UP

• man come on

• hell yes sharon wants her old job back

• can uncle luke please fuck off to like canada or something

• "do they still do that thing where they ask if anyone objects?" lmaooo eve knows

• RICK IS GEN'S DAD!?!?

• NO MOTHER FUCKING WAY

• CARA BABY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING

• WHAT THE FUCK MAN

• she can't do it, she can't marry diego

• man why does the season gotta end like that

• i hate cliffhangers man

• uncle luke i'm begging please do this one nice thing for ONCE

• also if jake loses gen it's going to fucking wreck him

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

not old enough (not old enough ch.1)

pairing: leon kennedy/reader

cw: smut, age gap (reader is 18), vendetta!leon?, alcohol, semi-public sex, possibly dubcon bc both leon and reader are intoxicated

summary: you and leon meet at an unnamed bar, but you're too young to be there (because this is the US in my limited imagination). 18 may be too young for you to legally drink, but you can legally hookup with dilfs. 

word count: 2k

ao3 link

You were sitting on a barstool, drinking a whiskey sour, and making conversation with a man in his mid-30s, you’d guess, who was relatively attractive minus the slur of his words and dark circles around his eyes. He looked like more of a mess than you would by the end of the night. You went out that night with a few friends, wearing minimal clothing, hoping to attract the attention of men. One friend was getting over a breakup and the other was past due on this month's rent, so none of you were opposed to older men. Forgetting younger boys and getting cash weren’t your motives that night, though, you were just being supportive, so when your friends ditched you to leave with a man you thought was too sleazy to go home with, you were stuck at the counter of the bar with a slightly-less sleazy looking man, who said his name was Leon. 

You couldn’t remember how the conversation came to this, but you showed him your ID. Maybe he wanted to verify your name or see the stupid picture they took of you at the DMV, but you’d had quite a lot of alcohol in you at that point, and if you had to retell the story, this was where it all began. 

You hoped he wouldn’t notice the birthdate on it, which made you a little too young to be where you were. He’s wasted, you thought, he’ll never know. But, maybe it was his former-cop instincts, which you knew nothing about yet, that led him to notice the one critical detail on your license, the one that could get you in big trouble - your birth year, which would only make you 18, not 21. 

He was about to announce it, when you dragged him away from the bar. “Don’t say anything,” you tried to sound tough, as if he couldn’t kill you in one punch. 

He laughed at your feeble attempts to intimidate him, and said, “I’m not just gonna let you sit here and continue to get drunk. It’s dangerous for a young woman like yourself.”

It came out more flirtatious than he’d expected or intended, but you fired back with, “Please, I don’t wanna get in trouble. What can I do to get you not to tell, Mr…” You realized you didn’t know his last name.

“Kennedy. Leon Kennedy.”

“Please, Mr. Kennedy.”

“No, I don’t want you drinking anymore.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re a liar.” Leon waved the ID he was still holding, up in the air, too high for you to get it back. You jumped up, helplessly, looking like an idiot. 

“I can’t get arrested, please. I’ll lose my scholarship and I won’t have money to go to school anymore.” You started spewing off any sob story you could think of in an effort to convince him. 

“Fine, but I’m calling you a cab and you’re done for the night.” Leon tossed you back your ID.

“Can I just finish this one?” You gave him your cutest pouty face. 

He groaned in exasperation. “Fine. Come sit down, then. Don’t want you falling over in those heels.”

You were a bit unbalanced, but it wasn’t the drunkenness, it was the heels. At least, you hoped it was.

Upon realizing there was only one barstool left unclaimed, Leon sat you down on his lap. You turned your head and smiled at him. The face of a winner. He knew he was playing right into your hand, but you were so precious. The combination between his genuine instinct to protect you from some of the men at this bar who could hurt you and the fact that his dick was starting to get hard everytime you shifted in his lap made him decide to stay with you, despite his better judgment. 

You could adjust your sitting position in such a way that your skirt would ride up, giving Leon more than a glimpse of your lace panties. It looked innocuous to the patrons around you, too. It was a sight made only for him. 

Leon tried to subtly pull your skirt back into place, without staring, and inform you about the wardrobe malfunction, but you just held your hands over his, one on each hip, making it even easier for you to grind your ass into him. At this point, Leon knew you were doing this on purpose, but he couldn’t help his natural reaction of physical arousal, which you’d noticed. 

“Do you wanna take this somewhere more private?” You whispered to him.

He wanted to decline, but he also felt uncomfortable being surrounded by all these drunk men at the bar while he was red in the face and rock-hard due to some teenage girl on his lap, so he said, “Okay. Where?”

You led the way to the restrooms in the back of the bar. 

You were 18 years old, and here you were, in the men’s bathroom of a dive bar pressed up against the stall door, hoping the clamor around you would hide the sounds you were making. Leon knew this was wrong. 

You’re way too young for him and doing it in a bar bathroom would normally be below him. He would be disgusted by the whole thing if he’d stopped drinking a few glasses ago and if your skirt wasn’t short enough for him to catch a glimpse of your pink lace thong. He was proud his dick still worked at his age and level of inebriation. The women’s room might’ve been cleaner but you weren’t going to wait in line, not because you cared about the embarrassment of walking in with a man but because you needed him immediately . 

His lips crashed into yours the moment he’d locked the stall door. You had one leg up around his hip, the other high heel on the tile. You held onto him while he kissed you feverishly to keep from swaying and to stop your knees from buckling at the feeling of his lips on your neck. He was sucking on your skin, carelessly, leaving marks while a thumb, wet with saliva pushed your panties to the side to play with your clit. Older men did it better; he could find the most sensitive parts of you without assistance.  

Leon’s breath was hot against your ear whispering “ shut the fuck up ” when you whimpered, feeling his fingers prod at your entrance. Your hands made their way down his body in search of his already throbbing cock. You popped the button on his jeans, yanked his zipper down and he did the rest. He wanted it fast, didn’t want you fumbling around trying to get his dick out. He found his wallet in his back pocket and pulled out a condom, ripping the wrapper with his teeth before sliding it on. Leon wasn’t trying to get anyone pregnant, let alone an 18 year old girl. 

At that point, his fingers were slick with your arousal, so despite his size, he could slip into you without any pain on your end. You still felt the stretch, but it felt good to be filled. 

“You’re so fucking tight,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “Wouldn’t be able to get my cock into you if you weren’t soaking wet for me”.

His crude words made you moan, cute little cries, which he covered up with his mouth pressed firmly against yours as he pounded into you. With forceful thrusts, he set an unforgiving pace, rattling the door hinges. Anyone who walked in would know exactly what was going on between the two of you. 

And they did. 

Whistles and cheers came from drunken men in the restroom. No one was perverted enough to try to peek through the slats or over the door to watch, but the humiliation was still there. Clearly, you were getting off on it. Leon could feel your pussy clench around him. He couldn’t care less about what other gross men in this bar thought of him, but any disrespect towards you pissed him off. When the word “whore” came out of some asshole’s mouth, Leon took one of his hands from your hip and held it up, sticking his middle finger over the stall.

He knew they were just jealous that he was getting lucky and they weren’t, but you were young and he didn’t want you to feel insecure about the whole thing. A part of him knew you’d probably regret it in the morning, and he was sure he would too, but he figured he shouldn’t add to the degradation

“Don’t listen to them,” he mumbled into your ear, “You’re a good girl.”

You blushed; the praise only made you more aroused. Leon took notice. 

“You’re doin’ so good for me, yeah? Takin’ me so well.”

Your top - if you could even call it that - was still on. Leon decided it shouldn’t be, so he slid the straps down your arms, and as suspected, revealed your bare chest. Just as he thought, you couldn’t fit a bra under that tiny piece of fabric. Leon cupped your breasts, squeezing lightly, then ran his thumbs across each nipple, making you gasp. You began to buck your hips up, trying to get more than he was giving you. He was holding back for your sake. He didn’t want to ruin you more than he already had.

But even with your thighs trembling, you were begging for him “harder” , “deeper”, “faster” , and he’d give you whatever you wanted because he needed to make you come. 

Each deliberate thrust hitting a particularly sensitive spot inside you was working in tandem with the hand he’d moved down to play with your clit, getting you closer and closer to your orgasm. 

The rhythm of Leon’s hips became more erratic, he was teetering on the edge and running on sheer desperation. If he knew one thing it was self-control, and you had to come first, he was going to make you. Looking at your head lolling with nothing behind your eyes as he fucked you dumb was making this the most difficult mission in his life. 

He didn’t have to hold back much longer, though, because with a pornographic moan, which was the only thing covering up the lewd sounds of slapping skin, you came hard. You clung to the fabric of his t-shirt while your inner walls spasmed uncontrollably. 

The sight was enough to make Leon come, working through his orgasm with slow rolls of his hips, his forehead pressed up against the metal door, so you could hear a groan escape his lips followed by heavy breathing. You were practically sobbing, mascara and tears painting your face. 

When Leon looked at you, taken by post-orgasm clarity, he cupped your cheeks and kissed your teary skin - something he wouldn’t normally think of doing in this situation, but you were so precious. He wished there was more he could give you. 

Once you’d assured him you were okay and that the tears were from overstimulation not pain, he insisted on calling you a cab to take you home. He’d remembered that his initial intention that night was to ensure that you didn’t do anything stupid while drunk. He’d already failed that mission, but he made sure you didn’t drink and drive. He called himself a cab as well because at his age, sex made him more tired than it used to. To his surprise, standing outside the bar in the cool spring air, you hugged him goodbye. He tried his hardest to reciprocate the tenderness you were giving him. 

“Goodbye, Mr. Kennedy,” you whispered before getting into the cab.

He smiled and gave you a nod, gazing at your post-sex, glowing face. One he wouldn’t get the chance to wake up next to. Taking you home would’ve been worse though, and he knew that.

The next morning, the hangover hit him with a headache and a fuckton of guilt. There wasn’t a way he could apologize to you, but he sure as hell wanted to. While brushing his teeth, spitting out the aftertaste of last night, he noticed ink on his skin, a number written in permanent marker on his forearm. He didn’t remember you doing this, but your first initial was marked next to the number to confirm his suspicions. It was you.

[angelica1minx]

death island leon look wayyyy too dilf-like, he will genuinely kill me off

[citrine-elephant]

still boiling on the vendetta novel and i feel like i didn't absorb what i was supposed to absorb in regards to leon lore lol.

chris slams energy drinks in a single chug. this is the prominent thought. it's the thing that will forever be engrained in my mind under "USELESS LORE"

leon kept flirting with the idea of being dead. i would joke "me too bud" but im in a pretty good headspace all things considered. just sad lol

zombies don't fuck, and idk. that's a big factor to the whole bow thing? tbh im not sure what that was about beyond arias being a fuckin weird mfer.

nadia and her wife need happiness holy fuckin shit. wife has a butterfly tattoo? a red one? she's married to ada. ada is her wifey. i refuse to accept anything else.

mental illness in media leads to my deep introspection and sudden stress, but also hopefulness bcuz i can vaguely slap the concept through a sieve and sprinkle it like cheese... huh? where was i? ah, yes, healing! healing through funny scary spooky zombie media.

leon feels guilty for the president turning and is just 100% guilt in meat form. idk this bitch ain't healed from that ending "gotta keep fighting" 90's motivation poster shit. we know his ass is still mentally ill!... ->

-> i remember reading something that suggested, from the book, leon probably would have killed himself if chris and rebecca didn't show up. and i mean. maybe? probably? the ideation didn't feel that heavy handed until the fight with diego-arias and how he just thought "damn today's a good day to die, huh? lol". dunno if things went over my head or if i'm just numb to signs i should see lol

rebecca is too damned smart and is also weirdly kind in the face of... friends dying. "sorry i gotta bash ur head in" lmfao

strengthens my urge for chreon. specifically daddy redfield caring for his dilf twink. helping a good friend through dark, awful times. and then kissing. smoochin. petting the good boy on the head. kissing again.

was also kinda surprised that chris sees leon as a normally cheerful guy? or... like. not a miserable fuck/bummed out bitch? or was that sarcasm? or did i misread. huh

[toutallyahoe]

pounding carlos until he just can't think straight and can barely talk? Yes

-carlitos anon

absolutely. just imagine fucking him when he gets back from those dangerous missions he has being a U.B.C.S. operative? sweet desperate welcome sex as you slam carlos to the nearest wall and fuck him hard and fast

or better yet, being a U.B.C.S. operative yourself and both you and carlos just literally slipping away in missions to do some quick fuck since you both cant keep all hands to yourselves? trying to make carlos quiet with your hand on his mouth as you thrust inside him? carlos' moans being muffled as his nails dig in your shoulders

[viridiave]

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE OCTOPATH SHIP SAYS ABOUT YOU

I'm sure someone's already did this- this is purely for fun btw please don't kill me- ship whatever you want! This is a free nation!

Feel free to add onto this- there's no way I covered all of them-

Alfyn x Therion

- You're a complete sucker for the soft x edgy dynamic.

- You think Therion deserves only great things. And to be fair, he does.

Olberic x Erhardt

- The sexual tension in Olberic's Chapters 3 and 4 was too intense for you to resist.

Therion x Cyrus

- Your favorite gay ships feature a white-haired hottie and a dark-haired hottie, and this is because you maybe indulged in too much yaoi in middle school.

Therion x Ophilia

- The same joke as Alfyn x Therion but straight.

Cyrus x Ophilia

- You wish Cyrus was exactly the prince charming archetype that every woman thinks he is.

Cyrus x H'aanit

- You are a sucker for the wild x high-society dynamic.

Cyrus x Primrose

- You think the only way that Cyrus could ever seriously get with a woman is if she pushes him to the bed herself.

Olberic x Primrose

- You were around for the original demo and/or you've read the light novel.

- You just want good things for Primrose. Good things in this case happen to mean big arms to hug her with.

Olberic x H'aanit

- You're into muscles. I can't blame ya.

Olberic x Cyrus

- You're into DILFs. I can't blame ya.

- You're into both nerds and jocks. But only after they've both graduated and evolved into the English professor x Gym teacher dynamic.

H'aanit x Ophilia

- You saw their Travel Banter in H'aanit's Chapter 2 and have slapped tables because H'aanit has too much game.

H'aanit x Primrose

- You saw their Travel Banter in H'aanit's Chapter 4 and it awakened something in you. That something may or may not be homosexuality.

- You just want good things for Primrose. Good things in this case happen to mean big arms but with Shakespearean sonnets this time.

Alfyn x Ophilia

- You love fix-it AUs.

- You think Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold is an absolute godsend of an archetype.

Therion x Tressa

- You are a sucker for opposites attract.

Therion x Cordelia

- You have no idea that Cordelia Ravus is 17. Or you do, and you reject that reality.

Ophilia x Primrose

- You wanted to ship a black mage with a light mage but Cyrus x Ophilia was too straight for you.

Alfyn x Olberic

- You are a sucker for the healer x warrior dynamic.

Olberic x Cyrus x Erhardt

- You think that Cyrus's type is living legends specifically. I can't blame him.

Cyrus x Therese

- You wish desperately that you are one of Cyrus's students. Or you completely forgot about Cyrus's Chapter 1.

Tressa x Noa

- You want good things for Noa. And really, who doesn't?

Tressa x Ali

- If you like rivals to lovers but without the angst.

Tressa x Leon

- You REALLY want to hop on Leon's dick.

Leon x Baltazar

- If you like rivals to lovers but wanted an extra helping of angst.

Simeon x Primrose

- Simeon is your little meow meow.

Simeon x Mattias

- You are horny. Very very horny.

Alfyn x Miguel

- In case you wanted Foe Yay but with none of Olberhardt's emotional baggage.

Therion x Darius

- You shed tears for Darius when the Sorrow track played in Therion's Chapter 4.

Erhardt x Gustav

- You use Pixiv.

[weskerfied]

Resident evil according to my little sister

Resident evil 0

Billy Russo and Rebecca are on a train into the wilderness but it unfortunately crashes and their night of romance is ruined by leeches.

Will and Wesker is my otp. They have great banter lol.

Wesker mode is superior hashtag Wesker and Rebecca.

Resident evil 1

You go around collecting keys in a mansion to open doors and eventually to unlock Wesker’s heart

Rebecca playing the piano is my Will to live but she never stops playing it’s so annoying.

I love yawn, I’m adopting yawn.

Resident evil 2

mr X is a dilf

You go around the police station to knock his hat off and piss him off.

William turns into an octopus.

Mr X has pet zombie dogs that you have to shoot in the head and they’re super speedy.

There’s also gross four legged things that fall from the ceiling and you can’t kill them (lickers)

Leon is in love with ada. Ada is not in love with Leon. We don’t like unreciprocated love. Poor Leon.

I love the guy at the beginning of 4th survoiur I might not know what he looks like but his voice is sexy.

Resident evil 3

Nemesis is mr X’s dad (he’s a gilf)

Carlos sits on a train and let’s Jill do all the work bc Jill is a badass and he’s a pussy but he’s sexy so it’s okay.

Nicholai is french. He has a Russian accent though.

I like his accent.

He’s a funny asshole.

Jill is very pretty.

Resistance

Alex is a hot lesbian tries to kill everyone else by putting clown zombies on people.

And there’s the guy who look like that one guy from stranger things. (Daniel looks like Billy)

Then there’s Nicholai, and Spencer. Not Spencer reid, I love Spencer Reid. He needs therapy.

Code Veronica

It’s got scary graphics.

Wesker looks scary and evil

Hashtag incest.

Steve is not Steve Rogers. I miss Steve Rogers.

Resident evil 4

Leon goes to Spain.

YOU CANT KILL ASHLEY it’s a shame because she’s a dumb hoe.

I get punched by my brother every time he breaks a box with a snake in it. I’m in danger. Call 911 (we live in the uk it’s actually 999)

Resident evil 5

Wesker became a squid.

There’s chickens and you piss them off.

I don’t like sheva she sucks she’s just annoying and we don’t vibe.

Wesker actually survived the volcano. I watched it happen.

Resident evil 6

Wesker’s child falls in love with the girl that is saved in a previous game

*sudden realisation that it is Williams daughter*

WOAHHHH THEY WERE DESTINED FOR EACHOTHER.

So there’s that one scene at the end where piers got infected and Chris goes into a pod and blasts into space. They were soulmates from the wrong timelines.

Resident evil 7

the best game ever

So there’s daddy Jack and margarita (yes that’s her name now) 🍸

Margarita tickles you with her bugs and Jack is just the best.

Screw his children they suck we only like Jack and margarita.

He runs you over out of love. He cares about you.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN jack turned him mouldy but your not supposed to know that yet.

There is a basement that reminds me of venom and Ethan is actually Eddie Brock.

Village

tall vampire lady and flashbacks to jacks house where you realise he’s been dead all along *heartbreak*

He was a zombie on the outside but his heart was still beating for his child who he had to save.

There was a dishevelled okay looking guy. The guy from breaking bad right?

CHRIS WAS HIS BEST BUDDY because he took his child and made sure she was saved.

[thetattletale]

in your onion, biggest flops vs biggest wins of june 1st?

flops

the people who died, duh! that’s just, like, so embarrassing!

the non-mutants who tried to be heroes. or tried to do anything, really. poor, powerless, puny humans. granted, you lot were set up for failure, but it really put things in perspective, didn’t it? you people should have, like, plasma weapons to keep up!

gabby o’connell, because her father’s unconscious, and will be for an indeterminate amount of time!

@daichxato, because his do-gooder girlfriend said i’m audi! and sacrificed her life to save the people he was trying to kill!

@samson-clemens for getting punked by a 12-year-old mid-battle!

bops

@marixsanchez for having a field day with the fatalities!

@nicholxswalker for being a literal hero (and dilf)!

@thalassofins for trying their absolute best!

@laurelborialis for the superheroine upgrade!

@moniwxshington for killing a cop!

@finlcyxwalsh for miraculously still breathing!

@santi-de-leon and @cyra-de-leon for existing!

[lafox]

RE:ID Rant! /SPOILERS/

I just finished watching Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness and made some scene pack which you can find here. 

I’m not the biggest fan of putting my opinion out there on the internet but I'll try to write my opinion while still be careful.

NO HATE TO ANY CHARACTER LISTED BELLOW THANK YOU!

Anyhow, I need to talk about it! 

First of all, amazing character design and rendering. All the characters looks amazing and I adore the little details, for example, Leon's little head twitch or look at the president’s facial details. I think we all agree that they aced in that department. (will talk more about that subject after character analysis)

Now, the plot... the plot.

Look in all honesty it was a nice plot but i felt it went a bit too fast, not enough build up and stuff. I don't have much to say on it, only a few default on the characters and why and how things happen but I'll talk about that through character analysis. 

Okay, about our main character Leon.

He was badass, I'm so surprised he knew what to do in the submarine, honestly that was a good scene I was really anxious for him. He did care for the people around him but I didn’t get that sweet side of him like he had in RE2 or in DAM, I'm saying this because even if he saw Shen May’s brother, he didn’t have the empathy of his last wishes, like Shen May basically said: “He doesn’t want this to happen again and that why this *the chip* can help us.” And what annoys me the most and that both the ‘villain's’ didn’t deserve to die so the least he could do is to not make it *the virus* happen again. 

I am revolted at Leon for not giving the chip to Claire, not even telling the president about this shit! LIKE BRO. Also denying Claire, thinking he knows best?! Excuse me but Claire literally interviews people, she knows the Press! Anyhow, Annoyed...

Now let’s talk about Claire. 

My girl Claire! They made her a side character that didn’t have much to add only confirmation to our suspicions which is good yes, but it isn’t Claire’s job, she deserve a much bigger role in the RE universe! I get it, she was also a ‘side’ character in RE2 and Leon is the star but still tho! She did give #girlboss energy which I am LIVING for! She was stunning! her character design and CGI was beautiful and I've seen a lot of people saying that she is ‘ugly as shit’ as i quote. I’m sorry but she looks realistic and you are going to cry about it? She is around her mid-tweenies, maybe around 27 and you gonna tell me that her being realistic is ‘ugly as shit’?! Yeah nah sorry pal, go and like Shen May (no hate to her, she is gorgeous) then and not our OG Girl Claire! 

Claire deserved a bigger role and she is smart, like she is fucking smart! She almost decoded everything before the agents came and kidnap her, one of many reasons she should’ve had a bigger role! (Also please, your hand in marriage Claire ilysm)

Next on the list is Jason.

Okay, I'm sorry but i am in love with him.

I’m sorry okay! He fits the dilf characteristics and I cant-

Anyhow back to analysis. 

I feel horrible, he didn’t deserve to die, the man had serious mental illness and PTSD involved, they showed that but they killed him off. Why? Because he wanted to stop the virus from ever happening by his own ways? Even if it is a violent way, there is still, there was a logical and reasonable. Honestly i think and/or probably, a lot of people might relate to him and Shen Mei, because he has PTSD and mental health issues and Shen Mei lost someone close to her and they are both trying to make the world better, in their own way and for Capcom to kill them both is such a shame.. 

Jason is such a badass tho like.. damn~  He was really well written as a side character, like, I enjoyed when he was on screen (Maybe because i like him but whatever) 

Last but not least, Shen Mei!

I’m gonna be real and probs a lot of people are not going to like this but she was the least prominent character for me, like, yes she stands out a bit but for at least 2 episode she is.. just there and having little dialogue. But i did enjoy her twist, i felt like all that nothing from her was worth in someway. She is definitely #girlboss *chef kiss* and i can relate to her on a deeper level. I enjoyed that she silent for 2 episode because i can relate that she doesn’t talk, that she only listen and observes. I enjoy how she will do anything to help the people she love and that think that's what make Shen Mei a great character! Overall i did enjoy her character and i think her side role is very well placed with her personality.

CGI and Rendering Rant

I need to talk about the amount of details in the male characters but lack of it for female characters... You can see how, The President, Jason or Leon have detail, you can see their pores on their skin, you can see their history and age through those CGI detail on their skin and others but.. Claire or Shen May, their skin is  perfect. They do have a few details under her eyes but no pores, no small wrinkles, nothing. I think that's a shame. Shen Mei looks absolutely perfect, you cannot tell me that there is any default on her. I think that is marketing.. what I mean is that Shen Mei is an attraction for people to watch REID. She is absolutely stunning and has no default. 

I was talking with a friend of mine that studies human biology and we were talking about those details, we went on the subject of the women representation and rendering and we both suspect makeup is involve. What i am saying is that Capcom doesn’t show those pores because : Makeup. 

It can be a valid point. Exhibit A is Shen Mei eyelashes and slight makeup, she is meeting the President after all. So of course she would whip out some makeup. (I know i would.) Shen Mei eye Lashes are way longer longer than Claire’s which would go back to out theory of make up.

Photo comparation: 

Claire in her hotel room.

VS

Shen Mei in the submarine. You might think that it’s not convincing enough but keep in mind that Shen Mei is looking up as her head is downwards!

Coming back to skin. In the last two picture, yes, you can see pours and details of the face of Shen Mei but i want to talk about normal viewing of the two character VS male character same view point.

Photo comparation: 

The girls, looking perfect (ily both sm) 

VS

Leon at the (almost) same camera leveling and depth and you see way more characteristic then other female character even when Leon and Claire are around the same age. But they did nail it when the camera was close on both women. 

Adding a note that Claire does show a it of characteristics, more than Shen Mei and the we get people calling her ‘Ugly as shit’ for having a realistic face.

Maybe Shen Mei is younger, Probably and surely but I'm 18, i have facial characteristics. the only thing that is realistic is her beauty spot which is a really nice touch I love it. 

Anyhow i think I'm done talking about it. 

I enjoyed watching the show and i was excited for it! i hope everyone enjoyed it! Also I love all the character, I'm not bullying them or critic them for their physic or anything else! I’m just ranting about things that was ‘negative’ only because i enjoyed so many aspect of it that the post would be longer aahh. 

A few positives I will list are:

Camera angles (immerced) 

Character movement (No awkward movement or glitch) 

Motion blur (None sickening blur, right place Motion blur)

Lighting (Accurate lighting, not forgetting lighting through hair, ear etc)

Animation (Overall fucking amazing like holy shit)

Tension (Performed very well through animation and plot) 

Emotion and facial expression ( I could write a whole essay on that, that’s how well they did it)

I think that's it :) 

I hope you enjoyed me rambling on about this, i will write soon I've just had a holiday! scheduled writing around the end of next week!

-Chlo

[shachihata]

i summarize video game series that i genuinely do not know anything about besides what i've picked up on through cultural osmosis

resident evil: there's a corporation that made evil bioweapon zombies except somewhere along the way genuine black magic and cults got involved for no reason and now ethan winters can glue his hand back on including the jacket sleeve it was formerly attached to. where's the twink leon he was cute

fallout: nuclear apocalypse julius caesar is in this one. ummmmm there's a robot detective with yellow eyes right. are you delivering mail or some shit like your player character is called the courier????? There's a fight between the caesar legion and another group somewhere in there???????

castlevania: alucard and other vampires in a castle that looks different in every game umm a family of vampire hunters are involved too. I think alucard is gay but he's in a comphet relationship with the blond girl in green armor. Yeah i don't know the overarching plot of this one besides the fact that dracula keeps getting beaten up every single game

half life: ok i don't actually know anything about actual half life besides my brief stint with hlvrai i think this one's post apocalyptic im gonna guess there's something with a nuclear explosion because like. radioactive half life or whatever. uhh there's a secret dimension of aliens that the gman is associated with. Oh gordon freeman in the newer games is a dilf he's like fighting the aliens or something man idk

megaman: I Think this one is also post apocalyptic except there's robots instead of humans? ummm there's a bunch of "-man" characters besides megaman that megaman has to fight. i think megaman is the protag trying to save the "good" robots from getting destroyed except sometimes the games mix it up so there's a megaman with a different name i think it's like "X" or something that has to do it for megaman

red dead redemption: COWBOYS i heard of em. yeah idk the plot its called "redemption" so its probably. like you did something wrong and have to go travel with cowboys to redeem yourself. Wait isn't it choice-based open world though. ok maybe you can choose whether you're a redeemed cowboy or not. there are a LOT of dilfs in this one i think

dishonored: there's the guy with the black eyes who gives you a whale stamp on the back of your hand that lets you do magic i know this one b/c i think the way people draw that guy is either cute or super homoerotic. Uhhh you're like accused of killing the queen or something right like you're. literally "dishonored" and have to redeem yourself. Idk why there's like 3 games about that though

final fantasy: sephiroth drip meme all i need to know next question

kingdom hearts: actually i get kingdom hearts and final fantasy mixed up is. is kh the one with sephiroth in it im gonna look so bad if it is. Anyway mickey mouse is in this one. You're like defending earth from these inky shadow dudes OH there's an enemy that's like two corpses with a bar driven thru their heads i think because my cousin played this when i was younger and i was so scared by that guy. Wait maybe it was final fantasy that had that enemy. WAIT maybe it was persona FUCK

persona: im doubting myself now i'm pretty sure sephiroth isn't from persona though. this is like a semi slice of life dating sim mixed with a battle rpg i think. You can like. summon your "persona" to fight and the battle layout looks cool??? idk what you're fighting against though is it like a madoka magica situation where that superhero cat turns against you. Sorry joker for disrespecting you i think he looks neat

metal gear: snake. solid snake. gay little otacon. Someone tells snake to get the fries at mcdonald's because he needs the energy but he can't because his ass claps too loud. Fuck i don't actually know the plot of this outside of memes and smash bros SHIT does snake go on like secret spy missions to take down some mysterious enemy organization or something. Fuck

yakuza: i've seen a gif from yakuza used to reply to fucking everything i'm not sure there's something that this game ISN'T about. Well it's like the japanese mafia right. i'm guessing there's like a good mix of fighting and also family drama with all these weird yakuza dilfs. Like is there a custody battle somewhere in there

fire emblem: there's like 40 games in this elaborate dating sim and for what. all i hear about this one is people talking about romance strategies to maximize battle compatability with their datemate of choice. Doesn't it follow that marth dude as he tries to take back his kingdom or something I don't know i don't think that's the primary focus of the game anyway. Go grind for relationship points or something