#length does not need to be matched here i got carried away
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levibrandt · 3 days ago
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who: levi & capped (3/3)
where: downtown – exact location open!
when: november 22nd, 2024, early morning
Levi had exactly four (-ish) things on his to-do list: feed his pets and Maren (success), get Maren to preschool (success), check in on the cafe, and help around if need be (he stayed a bit longer than he’d hoped, but also a success), and get started on Christmas shopping, which was in progress. Sure, starting Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving could definitely be seen as unusual, and even though he came to the States as a child, his family never really did Thanksgiving. Even now, he didn’t. He also figured getting his holiday shopping done now would be a lot easier than cramming it all during those weirdly stressful days in December.
He walked down the sidewalk, AirPods in his ears as he focused on the walk back to his car a few blocks away. Putting the two handfuls of bags in his trunk, and then walking to get the rest of what he needed definitely seemed doable with the time he had. As he reached closer, Levi stopped when he felt his foot collide with something. He placed the bags that had been situated in his right hand down onto the pavement for a moment, picking up the object. Truly, he had already forgotten what he’d bought (sorting out his purchases was something he nearly always did at home, and he’d made a bad habit of buying on impulse), so whether it was his or not was really up in the air.
Noticing a passerby, he tapped them hesitantly. “Would this happen to be yours, by chance? I don’t know if it just fell out of one of these bags or not, but I figured I’d ask.”
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poohsources · 2 months ago
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🐝  *  ―  𝑬𝑷𝑰𝑪: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑨𝑳 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.
Troy Saga ❛  do what i say and you'll see them again.  ❜ ❛  what do you live for? what do you try for?  ❜ ❛  say no more, i know tat i'm ready.  ❜ ❛  the blood on your hands is something you won't lose.  ❜ ❛  is the price i pay endless pain?  ❜ ❛  something feels off here, i see fire but there's no smoke.  ❜ ❛  we should try to find a way no one ends up dead.  ❜ ❛  why should we take when we could give?  ❜ ❛  i see in your face, there's so much guilt inside your heart.  ❜ ❛  have you forgotten the lessons i taught you?  ❜
The Cyclops Saga ❛  it's almost too perfect, too god to be true.  ❜ ❛  what gives you the right to deal a pain so deep?  ❜ ❛  your life now is in my hand.  ❜ ❛  remember them, we're the ones who carry on.  ❜ ❛  what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use?  ❜ ❛  i am your darkest moment.  ❜ ❛  i don't know where i went wrong but i warned ya', and you failed the test.  ❜ ❛  that's just like you, why should i be surprised?  ❜ ❛  unlike you, every time someone dies i'm left to deal with the strain.  ❜ ❛  i'll remind you i saw you as a friend but now we're done.  ❜
The Ocean Saga ❛  at this rate, we won't make it out alive.  ❜ ❛  please don't tell me you're about to do what i think you'll do.  ❜ ❛  yes, but how much longer til your luck runs out?  ❜ ❛  you rely on wit, and people die on it.  ❜ ❛  you're like the brother i could never do without.  ❜ ❛  and suddenly you doubt that i could figure this out?  ❜ ❛  keep your friends close and your enemies closer, never really know who you can trust.  ❜ ❛  'cause the end always justifies the means.  ❜ ❛  do you know who i am?  ❜ ❛  you are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great.  ❜
The Circe Saga ❛  whatever you need to say can wait some more.  ❜ ❛  there's no length i wouldn't go if it was you i had to save.  ❜ ❛  wouldn't you like a taste of the power?  ❜ ❛  don't thank me friend, you very well may die.  ❜ ❛  did you do something to them?  ❜ ❛  if you make one wrong move, then you're done for.  ❜ ❛  you and i are now evenly matched.  ❜ ❛  you've given me no reason to bestow you with my trust.  ❜ ❛  who's to say, with the mistakes i've made that they will be the last mistakes i ever make?  ❜ ❛  this is the price we pay to love.  ❜
The Underworld Saga ❛  all i hear are screams, every time i dare to close my eyes.  ❜ ❛  i no longer dream, only nigtmares of those who've died.  ❜ ❛  when does a man become a monster?  ❜ ❛  now you tell us our effort's are for nothing?  ❜ ❛  how has everything been turned against us?  ❜ ❛  do i need to change?  ❜ ❛  i'm the only one whose line i haven't crossed.  ❜ ❛  what if i'm the problem that's been hiding all along?  ❜ ❛  what if i've been far too kind to foes but a monster to ourselves?  ❜ ❛  if i became the monster and threw that guilt away would that make us stronger?  ❜
The Thunder Saga ❛  you wouldn't have spared me. i made a mistake like this, it almost cost my life.  ❜ ❛  i've got a secret i can no longer keep.  ❜ ❛  you know that we are the same.  ❜ ❛  we must do what it takes to survive.  ❜ ❛  tell me you did not know that would happen.  ❜ ❛  if you want all the power, you must carry all the blame.  ❜ ❛  how are we supposed to trust you now?  ❜ ❛  how much longer must i suffer now?  ❜ ❛  someone's gotta die today and you have got the final say.  ❜ ❛  please don't make me do this.  ❜
The Wisdom Saga ❛  you've made your worst mistake here.  ❜ ❛  this cruel world doesn't give out presents just for being good.  ❜ ❛  you're my friend, i couldn't ask for more.  ❜ ❛  did you know you talk in your sleep?  ❜ ❛  i'm what you want here, i'm what you need here.  ❜ ❛  you don't know what i've gone through.  ❜ ❛  i know your life's been hard, i'll stay inside your heart.  ❜ ❛  life would be so much worse if you had died.  ❜ ❛  you dare to defy me, to make me feel shame?  ❜ ❛  no one beats me, no one wins my game.  ❜
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Jay Halstead NSFW Alphabet 
This is a small apology for my hyper-fixation on my Rewind, Remix, & Replay (Burgstead story). I know it’s not a common pairing or a reader insert but it has been so much fun to write. I’m totally hooked on the couple. If you have any interest you can check it out HERE. 
 Anyway, enjoy some sexy Jay Halstead content! (I forgot how long these take to write) 
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 
Jay is all about aftercare. He will only leave the bed to clean himself and you up, or grab you something if you need it. Jay’s favorite way to give you aftercare is through physical touch. He wants to hold you, kiss your skin, tangle his finger in your hair. He wants the intimacy of having pillow talk or the playfulness of wrestling around or tickling you until you are begging him to stop.  
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
Jay’s favorite body part of himself is his hands. They are rough and calloused from hard work and his time carrying around a gun in the desert. They can hold a sniper rifle and make perfect aim as well as run through your hair when you lay together in bed, or pull an orgasm out of you as you ride his fingers. 
Jay’s favorite part of you if asked would be everything. He loves your body and always claims he can’t pick just one part of you to be his favorite. But you have noticed his fixation on your ass. He is always slapping it as he walks by, grabbing it during sex, or sliding his hand into your back pocket. He had even bit your ass a few times when he had the opportunity. 
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) 
Jay loves to come inside of you, it makes him feel connected to you. He will stay inside of your tight warm core until he goes soft. When he finally pulls out he likes to watch his come drip out of you and down your thighs mixing with the wetness of your arousal. He will clean the sticky mess but takes gratification in knowing that his DNA will linger on you long after he has wiped it away.    
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 
One of Jay’s favorite things is to be woken up by you giving him head. There is just something about starting his day with his cock in your mouth. He doesn’t even care if it's just a warm-up and you guys end up finishing with sex.  
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 
Jay has plenty of sexual experience. While Jay prefers committed long-term relationships, he had his Casanova days in his early twenties and after bad breakups. He has learned and perfected how to please a woman. But Jay knows that no woman's body is the same and he makes it his mission to learn how to please you.          
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 
Jay’s favorite position is with you on top. He likes watching you bounce on his cock. Your breast in his face with easy access to his mouth. His hands can grab your hips or ass to urge you on.  He can kiss you and rub slow circles on your clit. He can let you take charge letting the pleasure roll over him or he can rock up into you to meet your thrusts.   
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 
Jay can be goofy during sex. He likes the banter your relationship has and it often leaks into the bedroom. Sassy comments or jokes can have you both laughing into each other's kisses. Once or twice you had got each other laughing so hard that you had to take a break mid sex to catch your breath.  
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 
Jay keeps himself trimmed for the sake of hygiene when he is single. When he is busy it drops low on his list of worries well below food and sleep. When he is in a relationship, he is more on top of it making sure it stays in his normal routine. He is more aware of the length of his facial stubble too. He doesn’t want to leave you with a constant healing beard burn. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 
Jay wants intimacy in his relationships. It’s not romantic in the normal aspect of flowers and fancy dates. It’s getting to know you, the banter you share, the drag of his stubble against your skin as he kisses every inch of your body. It’s being tangled together naked afterwards sharing soft kisses. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 
Jay was in the military for years so he knows how to jack off quick and efficiently. Jay doesn’t masturbate a lot. He does it more for stress relief than anything else. He usually does it while in the shower for quicker cleanup. If he is in a relationship, he will get himself off if you are not in the mood, but he has to go without for a while before he even considers it.    
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 
Jay likes to have sex in public places. The threat of getting caught makes the experience more thrilling. He also has a praise kink. He wants to know how good he is making you feel. He loves to see you flush with his praises and tell you what a good girl you are.  
L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 
Jay's favorite place to have sex with you is on the bed. There is plenty of room to do an array of positions with the comfort of a soft mattress and sheets. Jay is also a sucker for having sex with you pressed against walls. Whether it's your hands holding yourself up as he pounded into you from behind or your legs wrapped around his waist nails digging into his shoulders. Jay is also a fan of having sex in semi-public spots- he enjoys the thrill of almost getting caught. 
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 
Jay is pretty easy to get in the mood. Flirty banter, heated looks, and caressing touches will pull his mind to dirtier things. Jay is a visual man so seeing you in lingerie or his clothes is a big turn-on. The two of you pulled an all-nighter when you were draped across his bed in nothing but one of his flannels unbuttoned, red lipstick, and his dog tags hanging between your breasts.   
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 
Jay will not do anything that could cause you physical harm. He is okay with spanking, restraining, and even some light choking- leaving little bruises and love bites but never wants to cross the line where something could actually hurt you. Jay is very monogamous. That along with his possessiveness and jealousy makes the idea of another person joining you guys in bed an immediate no.   
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 
Jay has a talent with his tongue and it’s not just for his sassy smartass remarks. His oral skills are otherworldly. He can get you off in a matter of minutes with just his mouth if he isn’t in a teasing mood. He is a fan of using his fingers too. If his mouth or fingers can make you feel pleasure on their own, how much will you receive with both? Jay doesn’t like to stop when he starts either. Your legs are shaking and have come twice already and are edging on overstimulation. You’ll just have to wait until he is finished. 
Jay loves receiving as much as he enjoys giving. He will thread his finger through your hair pulling it back into a ponytail. He likes to tug the strands but mostly it makes it easier to see your eyes. It does something to him to see you on your knees, your face flushed, cheeks hollowed, sucking on his cock eyes locked with his. Jay likes to thrust into your mouth and loves it when you swallow but he will never force you to do either and will give you a warning before comes.   
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 
Jay knows there is a time and place for both. He leans towards the more rougher side pace. The friction of your bodies together, the bouncing of your breast, his hips snapping against yours. There are days that he wants slow intimate lovemaking. He will lay you down and worship every inch of your body, caressing all your dips and curves. He will rock into purposefully letting you feel every inch of his cock rubbing inside of you.  
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 
Jay loves quickies. Life is busy and there isn’t always a lot of time for long drawn-out sex. If an opportunity arises for a quick fuck he almost always says yes. He had on more than one occasion locked the two of you in a bar bathroom, hushing you as he fucked you from behind. He likes the thrill of not having a lot of time and having a chance of being caught.  
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 
Jay is a risk taker, the man has spent years in the army and likes a good adrenaline rush. He is down to try any position you can find or come up with. Jay likes to have sex in public, he likes the risk of being caught. It’s a challenge for him- can he get you off or fuck you while keeping you quiet enough to not get caught? Can he turn you on enough for you not to care if you do?  
You guys have got caught once in a bar parking lot. Luckily the person in question didn’t know you were having sex and just thought you were making out heavily. You were still fully clothed except for your panties. The skirt of your dress was spread over his lap covering the fact that he was buried deep inside of you. Both of you were so turned on that you continued with minimal thought after the person had made it to their car. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) 
Jay has a high stamina. He is more willing to give up sleep to pull an all-night sexathon. If you are up for another round, most likely so is he. He just needs fifteen to thirty minutes for his refractory period. He is more than willing to keep you warm up with oral, fingerfucking, or just making out with caressing touches. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 
Jay isn’t a huge fan of toys. He won’t be offended if you ask to use them with him or add them to your sex play. He will use them and use them well but he would rather get you off himself. He is more into restraints and blindfolding his partners.  
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 
While Jay is a massive flirter and likes to tease you outside of the bedroom, he isn’t a big teaser sexually. He is a complete pleasure junky- your pleasure. He wants to make you feel good and is more likely to overstimulate you with orgasms than to edge you with teasing. He does it occasionally when he feels like you are being a brat and needs to be taught a lesson.     
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 
Jay isn’t necessarily loud but he is a groaner when he has sex. He likes to dirty talk in bed and loves to make you moan as loud as he can. You can get him to be pretty loud too with the right encouragement. Mostly it is a string of curses that turn into moans as you clench around him.  
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 
Right after Jay returned from deployment he was touch starved. He didn’t feel like himself enough to build new relationships or even maintain old ones. He spent his first few months bouncing from one girl's bed to the next using a fake name. During that period the sex felt mechanical and didn’t do much for him but it did give him the physical contact that he was craving. He would completely wear his partner out so he could lay there and hold them after they fell asleep. Unfortunately, it never really helped barely taking the itch away. He often left their beds feeling more empty and isolated than before.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 
Jay has an athletic build, and his body all smooth lean muscles. He has strong arms and broad shoulders. He had a washboard stomach with six-pack abs and a cut V of his hips. Jay is above average in the length of his cock easily hitting six and a half inches when he is hard. His dick is on the slender side but still thick enough that it takes your body time to adjust to him when he first slides in.    
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 
Jay has a high sex drive. He would prefer to have sex three to four times a week if you are willing. He is insatiable when he comes back from long UC operations. He can’t keep his hands off you or his lips to himself. When he is working bad cases or is having PTSD flashbacks his sex drive tends to drop drastically or cause dry spells.     
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 
Jay wants to make sure you are taken care of after you have sex so he stays up until he is sure you have gotten the aftercare you need. He enjoys basking in his relaxed state, clear mind, and tired body, after his orgasm for as long as he can. You usually fall asleep first unless it has been a multiple-round night and you are curled up with him. Jay is a light sleeper from his time in the army and will wake up if you get up or move around too much in your sleep.  
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mapileonxputellas · 1 year ago
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Beckham II: 1 New Beginning
Please find instagram aesthetic here.
Post here explains how I've wrote it, I think it's quite simple.
This is the first part of my new series and I hope you enjoy xx (3k words)
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“Do you ever think about how crazy it is that you’re an icon in Barcelona and yet your dad played for Real Madrid?”
“I try not to think about that. I think that bothers him more than me.”
“Does he have any Barcelona shirts?”
“Of course he does.”
…..
“David, how does it feel watching your daughter play for Barcelona?”
“It’s the best feeling in the world. I’m guessing you were expecting some kind of rivalry but I’ll always support my daughter.”
…..
Barcelona, February 2023.
One down, nine to go.
It was like clockwork in your brain. Training would finish, everyone else would rush to get back into the training room and get back to their everyday life. Yet here you were, on your own, just how you like it. You and the ball. Free kick after free kick after free kick. Ten in total, all from different areas, all with different aims but each one just as equally important in your brain.
Barcelona was a dream. You were here with the best players in the world but you hated letting anyone down. Every little mistake was over-analysed, picked at all because of who you were. At the weekend it was a wonder save which stopped one nestling in the top corner but that didn’t matter. It hadn’t gone in and therefore didn’t meet your expectations.
The expectations you put on yourself, multiplied by that moment four years ago.
You loved your father but many people probably didn’t understand that there wasn’t a gene for taking good free kicks.
Unbeknownst to you, all of this was about to change. “You’ve got a visitor.”
“If it’s another journalist, tell them I’m not interested.”
You couldn’t be bothered with whatever reply the press officer would tell you. It was the same every day. Someone wanted to speak to you, you said no. They came back the next day.
You’d think they’d get bored after four years of consistent turn aways but that was never the case. You did the press conferences, the interviews after games but a sit-down full-length interview was not something you felt like you could ever handle.
So you carried on, resetting the ball in the correct spot. Back to just you and the ball.
For February it was a sunny afternoon in Barcelona, the sun was still shining for the mid-afternoon with minimal wind. Perfect conditions to practice and as your teammates had pointed out you hadn’t needed any more persuasion to get that training vest on, your tattoos on full show. Along with football they were your biggest passion, your phone was full of tattoo inspiration and little doodles you did when you were bored, they were a big part of you and maybe the image you wanted to create for yourself.
You took inspiration from everything, football, the environment, your father. Growing up many would say you were already a carbon copy of him but the tattoos were the icing on the cake. Your mother may not have been as happy about them but they promised to accept all your passions and that included turning up every few months with a new collection of tattoos to show off.
…..
“Maria, is she copying you?”
“You’ll have to ask her. No of course not, I would say we take great inspiration from each other. We’ve got a few matching ones, I’ve done a few on her and she’s done the same to me. That’s kind of what started our friendship.”
“You both have ‘looks can be deceiving’ on your necks, is that true for her?”
“Depends on what you think of her. Maybe some find her scary but you have to find out if that’s true yourself.”
…..
You could hear someone approaching you, watching as you took the next kick nestling it into the bottom corner underneath the imaginary wall.
“Y/N, have you got five minutes?” The unmistakable voice of Sarina. Many people would love Serena Weigman to turn up at their training session, not you. Not now.
Shit. You almost didn’t want to turn around. Maybe if you stayed facing the other way she would leave. Leave you be in the bubble you’d created for yourself, nothing good could come out of this conversation.
But of course the Dutch woman wasn’t going to leave that easily, edging closer to you. “I only want to talk.”
“I gave you my answer a year ago.”
“Lots can change in a year. Five minutes. If you still want me to leave after, I’ll leave.”
Maybe it was worth hearing what she had to say. Nothing could change your mind anyway, you’d hear whatever she had to say and then she could leave.
You knew what she was here for and it didn’t surprise you what came out of her mouth next. “I want you back, I name my squad next week and I want you ready to play for us at the World Cup.”
“And I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“The fans are not that accepting, the players don’t deserve to be drawn into that drama because of me.”
“There’s always drama in football.” Maybe she had a point but off the back of the Euro’s success the lionesses have had nothing but positivity from the media and public. “We’ve lost Beth, we’ve lost Fran and I think the players would welcome your experience in that position. It’s your decision but I know deep down you want to prove people wrong and I want to give you that opportunity.”
“Some would say I don’t deserve that.”
“It will be different this time.”
“How?”
“It’s been four years, everything’s changed. We protect you guys, you have support systems in place, we have support systems. It’s not individuals anymore, it’s a team.”
“I made that decision to protect myself.” Almost four years ago you’d sent that letter, asking not to be selected for international duty again. They had no choice but to accept it and when Serena came into the role she approached you but you told her a tournament on home soil was not something you could mentally cope with. Not yet. “Why would now be different?”
“I’ve watched every game you’ve played in the last 18 months. I know you may not see a difference in yourself but I do, the interview after you lost to Lyon showed your spirit, your drive. I need players like you, it won’t be easy but I don’t want something that happened four years ago to stop you showing the world how talented you are.”
You were conflicted. Of course you’d love nothing more than to prove all those who bashed you before wrong, to make a difference on the world stage after winning every trophy you could with Barcelona. On the other hand it was just opening a can of worms you’d hidden all those years ago. Although you were only in Spain it felt like a different world, you turned your comments off on social media and they never came back on. Interviews were a no-go and your former friends were now distant acquaintances.
“Can I think about?”
“Of course you can. Like I said, the squad goes out on Tuesday so I need an answer by Monday. Any questions, I’m coming to the match on Sunday, maybe I can speak to you after?”
“Thank you.” With a soft squeeze to your shoulder she was off, except now you couldn’t focus knowing you were about to make a decision which would change everything.
…..
“You seem distracted.”
In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best idea to accept the dinner invite from Maria and Ingrid but you knew your best friends wouldn’t take no for an answer. The three of you along with Frido were sat at their dinner table, tucking into the tapas you’d ordered from your favourite restaurant and it wasn’t lost on any of them how your mind was elsewhere. Casually picking through your food was a total opposite to the way you usually devoured this.
“Y/N?”
You’d been debating on the way whether to speak to someone about it.
Maybe your dad? He’d gone through something similar but he was in Miami and would only just be getting up.
Your mum? She was the most rational option but she would never understand that pride of pulling on your national shirt.
Your therapist seemed the best option but the earliest session she had for non-emergencies was tomorrow.
“Y/N!” In your own little world you’d even forgot to answer their questions. “Are you alright?”
It could help speaking to them, couldn’t it? “I had a visitor after training. Sarina Weigman.”
“Shit man, I thought you said no.” Maria Leon was your best friend from the moment you stepped foot in that training room, you bonded over everything from tattoos to food. You’d been her wingman in getting with Ingrid and had a mutual understanding of each other’s situations with your respective national teams even if the circumstances were very different.
“She wants me back but I don’t know, this feels different from last year.” If Bonnie, your 5-year-old beagle, adopted 3 years ago to signify a new chapter in your life, wasn’t by your feet they would definitely be anxiously tapping the floor right now.
“They probably feel your absence more because they’ve lost other players.” Frido added some context. “Not that you wouldn’t have always walked into that team but now you definitely would. You’d be their main player.”
“I can see you’re considering it.” Ingrid pointed out. “When she came last year I could see you were like, definitely no, now you haven’t turned it down immediately.”
“There’s no right or way wrong to feel,” Maria tried to comfort me. “Only you can decide if you want to go back there.”
“I miss it.”
“Of course you do.” Ingrid agreed. “You wouldn’t watch all their games if you didn’t.”
“It’s just the fact that I’m comfortable here, I have been for so long and now I’m going to throw myself back into four years ago.” Four years ago when you’d been forced to move away from your club at the time in Chelsea and accept the fact that one mistake had changed everything. “Plus the media attention, no-one wants that in the lead up to the world cup.”
“They were your friends, I’m sure they’d understand.” Frido tried to make you see that side of things. “Shit happens in football but what happened to you when completely over the top of that.”
“I isolated them.” Of course you had friends in the squad at the time, in fact best friends. But as soon as you made the move to America you slowly distanced yourself from them as they did to you. You hated letting them down and completely understood that being associated to you meant unnecessary exposure where perhaps they would not want it.
“So you’ll make friends again.”
You’d changed as well, grown into a completely different person in that time. Your appearance and attitude on the pitch were a distinct opposite to the crippling shyness you had yet to shake off. “Maybe.”
“You will,” Maria assured you. “Plus I think Bonnie told me she wanted a sleepover with me.”
“Oh did she?”
“I’m not swaying you either way but if that’s what you want, I’ll support you all the way.”
“We all will.” Frido added wrapping her arms around you to bring you into her side. “We love you.”
“Thank you, I love you all too.”
“Speak to your dad, maybe even your mum. I’m sure they’d want to help.”
One of the funniest moments in your life had to be watching your teammates introduce themselves to your parents when they came out to watch your first match in the Blaugrana. Watching their nerves dissipate when they realised how down to earth, especially your mother was, when it came to their children. Of course their name brought so much extra attention to you but you couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing.
Maybe it was their words that made you do it but subconsciously you knew the best thing to do was to ring them. So as you got into bed that night, once you got back, Bonnie at your feet watching, you rang the number you’d had memorised for years.
“Hi baby.” His voice almost brought tears to your eyes. Although you tried to be as independent as possible, wanting to be your own person, you sometimes wished you could just go back to spending every night in his arms.
“Hi dad.”
“What’s wrong?” You hated how easily he could read you, how those two words were enough for him to know something was wrong.
“It’s nothing.”
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“I know dad.” Out with it. “Sarina Weigman came to visit me today, she wants me to go and join them in the next international break.”
“And what do you want?”
“I think I want to.”
“You think?”
“I just know that if I do I’m just going to be brought back to that moment.”
“Then you’ll go back to a moment where the referees made a terrible decision. Football fans are fickle you know that as much as I do but you’ve watched it back enough to know that nine times out of ten nothing happens. The commentator did you no favours, Phil didn’t stand by you as he should have and the media hung you out to dry.”
“I know.”
“But as awful as it was it made you the person you are today and your stronger now then you’ve ever been before. If you want to go back then you’ll make it work. I know you will.”
“Thanks dad, now how is…”
,,,,,
“How many times have you watched that tackle back?”
“Over a thousand times.”
“Do you think you should have been sent off?”
“Of course not.”
……
You loved Barcelona, from the moment you stepped through those doors 3 years ago you’d been welcomed in and never looked back. In 2019 you moved to America but your year out there was plagued with depression and homesickness resulting in a lack of game time, when Barcelona came calling it was a difficult decision with your family ties but they had a project, they had a good set up and you knew the onus wouldn’t just be on you. The first six months were still tough, working out Spanish football to both play with your teammates and counter the opposition but by the end of the season you felt at home for the first time in 2 years.
Your role this year had been heightened by the loss of one of your midfield partners in Alexia, but you were adaptable and that’s probably how you found yourself 4-0 up, having just scored a second goal in the second half.
“It’s almost like you’re trying to impress someone.” Mapi whispered giving you a half hug as you walked back into your own half.
“Shut up.”
“I bet she’s panicking that you might turn it down now.”
“She’s got other players Maria.”
“But none of them are you.”
The match stayed at 4-0, some of the youngsters coming on to see the game out.
You’d never been in a team like this, of course you had little arguments and there were small groups within the team, but everyone worked so hard for each other. And with that came the protectiveness, when you joined you were only 21, now 24 and the older ones took you under their wings. You’d been daunted a lot at the fact of playing fellow English players in the Champions League but they’d been your shield for those moments.
It blew your mind when the younger age groups joined you and they speak about that moment. Most of them staying up late to watch it making you feel old. But that meant they came to you for advice a lot of the time. Maybe this time though it was time to get advice from them.
“Hey little one.” Maria Perez was the first one you spotted in the changing room. “You played really well today.”
“Thank you.”
“How are you feeling about being called up?” It was only yesterday that the Spanish squad had been leaked and she was once again in it.
“Excited, another opportunity to prove myself.”
“I like that you see it that way.”
“Everyone should, it’s no different to playing here, as long as you be yourself you can never be disappointed.”
…….
@jillsmithjournalist: Serena Weigman is present at the Barcelona match. No current England players are playing however star player Y/N Beckham scored twice. Beckham has not played for England since she withdrew from selection in August 2019 amid public backlash and a rumoured feud with England manager Phil Neville. Could a return be on the cards?
@newlionesses_x: Surely she can’t just pick and choose when to come back.
@wslfan: Fine without her last year
@england123: Liability for England
@barcelonafan: All you hating on Beckham are crazy, one of the best players in the world and you don’t want her back because of something that happened 4 years ago, grow up. Could tell she struggled when she joined us but this past year she’s been exceptional, people change, mistakes happen (even though she should never have been sent off in the first place)
…..
You’ve known your decision for a long time but you still delayed giving it as long as possible before you could wait no longer. You could see she was the only one left in the hospitality area as you entered, the table she had chose overlooking the pitch you’d just performed on.
This was what you wanted and now it felt only right to give yourself that opportunity again.
“I’ll do it.”
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vroomvroomcircuit · 9 months ago
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A never-ending Worry
(A/N): Ikea gave me a big anxiety attack the other day. Here we are now.
Summary: Reader discovers her own anxiety together with Max through several instances.
Pairing: Max Verstappen x reader
Wordcount: 2k
🏎Masterlist🏎 _____________________ Anxiety is a peculiar thing, especially when you suffer from it. It is for (Y/N) at least.
Ever since her first anxiety attack at the ripe age of 16 years, (Y/n) started to worry. About everything. All the damn time. Her head is running the whole time, thinking about different scenarios that could happen. Like her best friend once said:
“The possibility of a baby killing you is slim, but never zero.”
Maybe the possibilities for any of the “what ifs” really happening is low, but she will be prepared if it does happen. It’s an odd sense of safety she can find refuge in, especially in a world of unpredictability.
This is where the peculiarity comes into play. She does not have the knowledge or vocabulary to describe it all.
But (Y/N) never really talked about her constant worries coupled with a never ending feeling of nervousness. Never spoke of this feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everyone feels like that, right?
“Hey Schatje? How many pairs of underwear have you packed for us?” Max called out for (Y/N) as he unpacked their suitcases, that his girlfriend herself packed for the two a couple of days before the trip even started.
A bit befuddled by his question, (Y/N) walks from the kitchen of the rental apartment, where she just finished putting away the groceries they got from their first run to the supermarket, to the bedroom.
“10 pairs for each of us. Do you think it won’t be enough? We can still go out and get some more tomorrow.” Max halts his movements for a second to check if her serious tone matches her face.
It does.
His girlfriend really means what she said.
“No, they will definitely suffice. You do know that we are here for only four days, right?” Max smiles at her. Maybe she just got something mixed up.
“Yes, of course. I planned our activities. It would be bad if I didn’t know about the length of our vacation.” She laughs to herself while moving to help Max unpacking. “Why are you asking?”
“Oh, nothing particular. Just checking.” Ok so. It is a thing for many women to overpack, especially regarding their underwear. “Can you explain your thoughts on the number to me? Why did you decide to pack 20 pairs of underpants in total?”
(Y/N) throws him a look. “Well, we need at least four, one for each day. Then I doubled that number, because something could have gone wrong on our car ride here or will on our way back, making us stay on vacation longer. Then eight felt like it’s not enough. Adding to the extra days, an accident could happen that makes you need an extra pair a day, right? And nine is an odd number that is not even a prime number, so I rounded up to ten. Completely logical.”
Well, it’s logical to her at least. Max was partially amazed by her train of thoughts and worries. He just let it be like that. After all, it’s just over packing and he loves how prepared she is in any given situation.
Prepared (Y/N) is. Always.
“Man, it is so hot, my fingers are sticky with sweat.” Daniel complaints. It’s a race weekend in Singapore and the Aussie is right. It is hot.
(Y/N), who walks with Daniel around the paddock while she waits for Max to get out of a meeting, starts to rummage in her backpack. The back she carries with her all the time. It’s close to iconic.
“Here is some hand disinfectant. It makes you feel a bit less sticky.”
Daniel smiles thankfully while taking the little bottle from the female’s hands. “Thank you. I just need to remember to put on some lotion, I don’t want my hands to dry out.”
As soon as he finishes his sentence, she replaces the disinfectant with another small bottle. “Don’t worry, I got you girl.” She winks at the Aussie.
“Oh wow, do you have everything important with you? Can you flee the country with that backpack spontaneously?” Daniel jokes, but it goes over her head.
“Yes, pretty much. I got a small first aid kit, my laptop and all needed chargers for my electronics. Oh, and my passport and IDs of course. Ah, and some small knick-knacks and snacks. Gotta be prepared for the worst case scenario, right?” Her seriousness unsettles something in the driver. But he kind of lets it go, just nodding to her statement. She is right, at least a bit, after all.
“Do you get more nervous when you get into the car? Or is your level of nervousness on the same level?
(Y/N) and Max cuddle in bed back in the safety of their home in Monaco. While asking the question in the wariness of the night, she traces the same shapes over and over again in her partner’s skin. It gives her an odd feeling of safety, the repetition.
Max has a confused look on his face. “What do you mean?” “Well, does your level of feeling nervous rise from the usual one before or during a race?” It sounds plausible to her. But it doesn’t for him.
Max sits up, leaning his upper body against the headboard to have a better look at his girlfriend. “Yes, it does rise, because my usual level of nervousness is zero like for everyone else. Of course I feel different from that, when I get into the car that can bring me over the finish line as a winner. I don’t get the question.”
(Y/N) blinks at him with a frown. “Not- no, not everyone’s level is zero. It’s really just for you that low.” Of course Max is always cool as a cucumber. He only gets this feeling in extreme situations.
“Oh Schtaje. It’s really not. Most people don’t feel nervous often. Do you?” He pulled her close to him, enveloping her completely.
“Not always. Right now, I’m not. But that is, because I’m with you. I know that together we can solve anything.” Max senses that (Y/N) doesn’t want to continue the conversation. He lets it be another time, partially to not make her feel completely uncomfortable in a peaceful moment, partially because he wants to do some research.
Her conversation with her boyfriend sparked something inside (Y/N). Hearing that not everyone is feeling the same way she does, it’s a lot to take in. So she started to do some reading of her own.
Many people on the internet describe the same moments she has: Constant nervousness, the need of being prepared at all times or she’ll break out in a sweat, plus the endless worrying.
And the sudden bursts of intense panic. These moments, where an all consuming fear grips her whole body into a chokehold. That makes her breaths become heavier and her thoughts even faster.
Reading about similar experiences to hers, it makes (Y/N) feel less alone. But one word stood out to her.
Anxiety.
She heard of it and has seen the portrayals on TV. But those are not what she feels. Or is it?
Everything and nothing make sense at the same time.
“Do you want to drive?” Max offers as they get ready to go out for dinner at a restaurant that is a tad too far away to be considered walkable distance. He regularly lets her drive, it’s a bit of emancipation. Why shouldn’t she drive when she has a license for that?
(Y/N) shakes her head no. “I don’t like today’s thoughts. I also feel extra nervous right now, I couldn’t find the menu of the restaurant online.” Max nods, understanding what kind of thoughts she is talking about - intrusive thoughts.
He also appreciates her openness with him about those feelings. “It’s ok, Schatje. I love driving for you, it’s my favorite kind of ride. We will also find something for you, we can order some dishes and share them until you decide which one you want.” He gives her a reassuring kiss on the cheek, hoping to ease up her worries.
During the drive, she holds his hand on the control stick. “It’s good to have you back. Last night I woke up in a panic and thought something must have happened to you on your flight and that this was the reason I had this huge anxiety attack. I couldn’t sleep until you texted me this morning when you landed at the airport.”
His heart grows heavy at that confession. He hasn’t known the extent of her anxious feelings. Max didn’t know how much they overshadowed her in her daily life.
(Y/N) herself never realized how much she has been hindered in her routines by her own thoughts and worries.
“It wasn’t the first time this happened. But it was the worst it has been so far. I thought you died. I waited for my phone to ring or the police to stand at the door, getting notified that you died in a plane crash. I already planned the next steps I had to take from there in my head.” (Y/N) doesn’t dare to look at her boyfriend after this admission.
It is weird to say something out loud, that she used to bury deep inside of her. This kind of vulnerability, it makes her want to crawl back into that hole again.
Over the last couple of weeks she realized that those spiraling thoughts are not here to make her feel safe. That the need of over preparedness is not necessary. That her anxious feelings are not some signs of something bad.
These thoughts are false friends, waiting for your demise, your downfall, to be able to say “I told you so”.
But where to go from here, from the realization of something going gravely wrong, to getting a grip of the situation. To make it all go away?
Max squeezes her hand before putting a kiss on it without taking his eyes off the road. “I’m here for you. I want to hear all those thoughts. As silly as they may sound out loud. I can help you in differentiating if they are necessary, needed, thoughts or if they are the product of overthinking. I want to help you. I want you to not feel anxious all the time. I want to help you through the anxiety attacks. We can get counseling - for only you or together. Just, let me be here for you during every step you take.”
His pleading brings tears to (Y/N)’s eyes. She didn’t know how noticeable her anxiety issues were to outsiders. She doesn’t know what it feels like for Max, seeing her in her most anxious states.
“Yes”, she answers him, “I want you to be here with me. I don’t know if I can do it on my own.” “You don’t need to find out. I’ll be there, for better or for worse.”
Turns out, Max’ deadpan and brutal honesty is exactly what (Y/N) needs.
The evening, where he was away for a race and she had to stay behind, because of her own work schedule. (Y/N) called him in the middle of a not very pretty anxiety attack. “I have this doctor’s appointment. It’s a check-up for my physical health. And what if I-I’m deathly sick and we are catching onto that only now?”
“This is a dumb thought.”
The female halts in her movements. Is it a dumb thought?
“I mean, yes. I regularly go out to donate blood. But maybe they haven’t caught something important accidentally.”
“That is stupid and unlikely.”
She stops again. “You are right. I actually have nothing to worry about.”
The road to having less anxiety is a twisted one, paved by setbacks and a small gap between succeeding and failing. But with Max as a passenger princess on that path (Y/N) knows she got it.
She will be ok, eventually.
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theramseyloft · 3 years ago
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What to expect when you are expecting a new pigeon:
You’ve decided you want a pet pigeon.
You’ve selected the breed you want, chosen between a cock and hen, got your housing set up, purchased your feed, and found a vet.
You’ve found the rescue or breeder you want a bird from, picked the specific one you want, and your new pigeon is on their way!
If you are picking up your bird:
Pigeons travel best when covered. Being able to see the scenery pass can be overwhelming and disorienting to a bird unaccustomed to car rides (as nearly all are.)
An especially stressed individual may vomit.
If your bird is being shipped:
Your bird has (if packed and prepped correctly) been asleep for the last 2-4 days. The jetlag is real!
Your bird will be disoriented and thirsty, which will show in their poop.
Expect it to be very wet for a least the first three days, but it should firm back up over the first 5-7 days as the bird’s hydration returns to normal.
However they get there, it’s important that the bird go straight into their enclosure and given the opportunity to get their bearings for the first few days.
Pigeons can get overwhelmed in new environments and may not eat or drink until they have checked out every surface they can reach.
If the bird has just spent a few days in a dark box, being active for an extended period before they have had the opportunity to eat or drink can cause them to crash.
So it’s important not to let your new bird out to explore at least until you have witnessed them eat food and drink water.
If you will need your bird to stay in an enclosure at night, start acclimating them to Lights Out by allowing out time initially in the evening.
The length of time a pigeon is out can safely extend to pretty much any amount as they learn the house rules, but starting in the evening makes teaching/learning the Lights Out routine easier on all parties involved.
At any point after dark, you can address your pigeon and say “Lights out!” or “Bed time!” to signify that they will go back into their sleeping enclosure shortly.
Give the bird about 10 seconds to register (and yourself to make sure you know exactly where they are perched), and then repeat “Lights out.” or “Bed time.” as you flip the light switch.
It’s WAY less stressful for a bird to be gently lifted up in the dark and returned to their sleep enclosure than it would be to chase them around to try and herd them into it.
After a few repetitions, your bird should make the association between the verbal forewarning “Lights out!” or “Bed Time!” with the lights actually going out.
Birds that do not like being picked up in the dark will go back to their sleep cage on their own in that 10 seconds you give them before turning out the lights.
Birds that like to be carried will just assume the position and wait to be picked up. XD
As often as I refer to pigeons as the avian equivalent of stray dogs, there are some key social differences you need to keep in mind when bonding to your bird.
Dogs are intelligent, cooperative social predators.
The puppy template for humans is generally set to “friend, until proven otherwise.”
Meaning that a puppy who is well socialized will see every new person as a potential new friend, and is likely to be just as friendly and confident in their new home as they were at their breeder’s.
Pigeons are intelligent, cooperative social prey birds.
Their template for any large creature is “Predator, until proven safe.”
Meaning that a well socialized pigeon who is comfortably trusting of their breeder has come to see that specific human as a non-predator.
If you have not had opportunities to meet your pigeon before bringing them home, they will not have had any opportunity to get to know you well enough to come to the conclusion that you, specifically, are also safe.
So you will be building your relationship with your pigeon from the ground up, no matter how they acted for their breeder.
In those first days while your bird is getting their bearings, it’s important to talk them through everything you do.
This gets them used to your voice and starts priming them to make word associations.
Pigeons are defensive of what they consider to be nest spaces, but social away from them.
For a bird who free flies the house, nest space is the actual nest and about the bird’s body length away from it.
But for a bird with a sleeping enclosure, the entire enclosure is considered to be nest space.
Because only a predator or attacking rival will enter nest space uninvited, pigeons are severely intimidated by hands entering their enclosure.
Those word associations I mentioned earlier will help desensitize your bird to changing their food and water every day.
Make a point to tell the bird “Let me get your food/water dish!” and reach in only far enough to retrieve that specific thing, as quickly and unobtrusively as possible.
As you give them back, talk the bird through it with something along the lines of “Here’s fresh water.” or “Food time!”
Until you have bonded to your pigeon, do not reach for them in their enclosure to get them out for social time.
Open their enclosure to invite them out.
This feels, to the pigeon, like you respect the space that they feel an instinctive need to defend.
Talk to the bird while you chill in your shared space doing something innocuous like reading or surfing the internet on your phone.
This is a good time to start treat priming.
Most pigeons love safflower seeds, but not every bird does.
Pay attention to what your bird picks out of their seed blend first so you know what treats to keep on hand.
Start by greeting your bird by name and asking “Want a Treat?”
Once you have their attention, toss a few of their favorite seeds just in front of their feet.
Praise them when they peck at and eat them with a light, pleased tone.
Then just toss them a little less far away.
The first goal is for your bird to sit comfortably near you.
If you get that far in one day, great! But don’t push any faster than that.
From there, the next goal is getting them into your lap or onto your shoulder.
The next step is to get them to take treats from your open palm.
The end goal is getting them to take a single treat from between your thumb and forefinger, because a closed fist with the thumb and forefinger extended together resembles a bird’s head instead of the giant snake head a closed hand resembles or the giant, five-clawed talon an open one resembles to a bird.
This very firmly switches a pigeon’s perception of you from predator to flock mate.
In every flock of pigeons, there is at least one bird who will feed any peep who begs or any adult who asks.
I refer to these as Flock Aunties/Unkles, and this is the mantle you take on by training your birds to take treats from your fingertips this way.
By inviting them out and offering treats this way, rather than forcing them out of their comfort zone, you help your bird to expand it to include you and the socializing space they share with you.
Every pigeon is an individual, meaning they all have different temperaments and tolerances. 
This is why our available birds are categorized by temperament.
It is important to me to match a client with the bird that they are most likely to develop the closest, most meaningful bond with.
It is possible to bond with even a very skittish pigeon, but it can take much longer than it would for a human-social bird bred for temperament.
Remember that stability is important to pigeons, and moving to a new home with new human flockmates is a LOT of change all at once.
So be patient with your new friend.
Communicate with them.
Invite them to expand their comfort zone rather than forcing them out of it.
And you will build a strong bond with your new flockmate. <3
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amysteriousmessenger · 4 years ago
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First time with RFA + V and Saeran?
/cracks knuckes this is gonna be a long one, if anyone wants me to write one with Ray, Suity and Unknown please let me know <3 REMEMBER TO PRACTICE SAFE SEX!! Under the cut because of length - <3 please consider reblogging, I spent so long on this! <3 
First Time with RFA (+ V and Saeran) Headcanons [VERY NSFW]
Yoosung Kim First Time Headcanons
Your first time with Yoosung would be a bit of a long time coming. He’s nervous because he doesn’t want to mess it up, and he’s also not quite sure how to approach the subject. He gets overly worried about your boundaries whenever he wants to bring it up and just ends up never mentioning it. This would result in a lot of abrupt ends to make out sessions because he can feel something rising and doesn’t know what to do about it in that moment. Eventually, he’d start to bring it up but you’d have to meet him in the middle of the conversation before he got too flustered and jumped ship.
There wouldn’t be an immediate plan as to when it was gonna happen, but he would frantically buy some condoms at the pharmacy in advance. However, it just so happened that that was the day that the self-checkout was broken and he had to go to a real worker. He’d very much consider asking Zen for advice, and would probably hint at asking before deciding he couldn’t handle boosting Zen’s ego like that. Eventually, he’d just lightly google it and maybe ask one of his LOLOL friends for any general pointers.
It’d happen in his dorm room after a movie had turned into some heavy kissing and a little bit of light touching and resulted in you getting onto his lap. You’d be nuzzling kisses into his neck and losing yourself in his little gasps and moans when you’d felt him getting hard through his jeans, and then he’d be very embarrassed that you’d felt it. He feels like he should be a little more forward, but the words escape him. He’s enjoying himself and he doesn’t want to stop but he can’t find the words to keep it going. 
You’d ask if he wanted to continue and when he agreed, Yoosung would be a little bit bolder and would move you so you were lying down and he was on all-fours above you: continuing to kiss you from that angle.
He’s a little flustered and uncertain about, well, everything. He has a vague idea as to what he should be doing, but you’d going to have to move his hands down your thighs and up your shirt to encourage him that you want this as much as he does.
He is continuously asking if you’re sure you want to continue, if he’s touching you right, if he’s making you feel good, if he’s putting too much of his weight on you- please assure him that you’re fine, baby is nervous. 
Yoosung’s very flustered about seeing you undressed for the first time, and you’d most definitely have to take your bra off for him because he does not know how that thing unclips. He’s also a little shy about taking his clothes off for you too, and you can tell he’s embarrassed from the heat radiating off his entire body. It’s his first time too, after all.
He definitely stumbles his way through the foreplay and you have to remind him to not be so tense, it’s supposed to be fun! He’s very worried about finishing too early since it’s all new to him.
Yoosung’s movements are stiff at first and he’s definitely using his back and not his hips but with time he’ll loosen up a little and get into the swing of it better. You’ll have to guide him and help him set the pace, but he’s more than willing to do what you ask in order to make you feel good! He doesn’t want your first time with him to be disappointing!
He’s SO loud with his moans that you’re 100% certain that his flatmates have heard.
Zen/Hyun Ryu First Time Headcanons 
Your first time with Zen would happen pretty early on in your relationship. He’s both needy and affectionate, so it makes sense you’d end up in bed together sooner rather than later. His flirting would turn to kissing, which then turned to heavy petting, which then turned into him carrying you bridal style through his apartment towards his bed. 
Zen hasn’t been with anyone in a while so he sort of has to root around in his bedside table for a condom, and then has to check the date to make sure it hasn’t passed it’s use-by-date. Luckily for you both, it hadn’t: but at that point, Zen would have probably sprinted to the pharmacy at top speed and back in order to buy a new box if they were out of date. Nothing could stop this man now that he had gotten a taste of you.
Zen’s absolutely going to show you a good time, he feels a little rusty at first but once he remembers where and how to touch you, it’s game on. He’s in two minds about ‘unleashing the beast’ because he’s going to make damn sure that your first time with him is one you’re never going to forget, but he’s worried he might overwhelm you. He’ll quickly throw the latter thought away when he undresses you and gets his hands all over your thighs. 
Zen’s really good at periodically asking whether you’re okay with what he’s doing at each stage and before progressing to another act, he wants to make sure that you want him as much as he wants you.
He’s great at foreplay, he prides himself on it actually. He’s got wonderful fingers and he knows what he’s doing with his tongue. It makes him feel so good to see you coming undone like this before he’s even had his way with you. He’ll insist on making you cum with his hands and mouth before going any further. He’s going to make tonight all about you.
Zen’s a little bit possessive and it’ll show on your thighs, since they’re covered in lovebites.
When he’s above you, ready to move on to main course of the night, he’ll ask once again if you’re sure about this, slightly worried that maybe you’d not thought it through and perhaps just been swept up in the moment: ‘Jagiya, I just want to make sure you’re doing this because you want to, not just for me.’ - ‘Of course I want to, I’m here with you because I want to be.’
The only way to describe Zen in this state is hungry. He promised to ravish you and that’s what he’s doing and then tenfold. He’s so spurred on by your moans, your body and the animalistic need of not having done this for so long.
He has a sex playlist and has it on shuffle the entire time. Zen absolutely is going to match his speed to the music whilst still trying to be absolutely in tune to you and your body. 
He goes absolutely insane when you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing him as deep as he possibly can into you, especially when you cry out his name as you do it. He makes a point of wanting to make you moan as loud as he can, it’s good for his ego and lets him know he’s fucking you right.
He can’t help himself but lightly bite into your shoulder as he pounding in to you. Underneath him, you look good enough to eat.
Jaehee Kang First Time Headcanons
Your first time with Jaehee would be a little bit of a wait too, but not as long as Yoosung. Jaehee feels bad that she doesn’t really have time for a relationship with her job, so she feels as though she neglects you a bit unintentionally, and then she’s usually so tired in the evenings that she just passes out with exhaustion. So realistically, it would have to be either over a weekend over a holiday when the two of you were finally intimate together. 
You’d both be watching a musical and by the time it ended, it was practically time to go to sleep anyway. Since you were already in an established relationship with Jaehee and were getting physically comfortable with each other, you just slept in her bed whenever you stayed over.
It would start with a little bit of light kissing and touches, which turned into soft moans and gasps. Jaehee’s a little embarrassed at the noises she’s letting out, but it’s been a while she’s she’s been with anyone so the sensations feel so new to her again. 
You’d probably have to be the one to initiate it because Jaehee’s a little uncertain as to how to proceed, especially if she’s never been with a woman before. You place your hand on the inside of her thigh and break the kiss for a moment to ask: - ‘Do you trust me?’ ‘Of course, _____.’ - ‘Do you want me to keep going?’  ‘I do...’
You’d start touching her through her clothes first and then slip your hand underneath into her underwear when she’s a little more turned on. Jaehee continues to kiss you as you touch her and you can’t help but mildly embarrass her at how cute her little moans and whimpers are.
When Jaehee touches you, she’ll start the same way by touching you with her hand and then asks if you’d like her to do a little bit more than just using her hand, to which you moan out that yes, you would like that.
‘You might have to show me how you like it. I want to make you feel food so please, don’t be afraid to tell me if you want it differently.’
She hesitates a little bit when she’s actually between your thighs, and takes a few seconds just to steady herself before she starts kissing and lightly touching the inside of your legs, working her way up to your more intimate area.
Jaehee starts out very gentle and reserved and gets more confident in herself as your moans increased. You didn’t have to correct her one way or another because she absorbed your reactions very quickly and figured out what you liked and disliked and actually made you finish a lot quicker than you were expecting. She kept going so you could finish again, partially because she just enjoyed finally getting to be with you like this, and also because she wanted to make you feel as good as you make her feel. 
You obviously repay the favour to her afterwards, Jaehee’s quite quiet so you enjoy finding new ways to make her moan and emit cute little mewls and gasps and then for her to be embarrassed over it.
It’s not the most energetic session, but it’s sweet, gentle and with infinite tenderness.
Jumin Han First Time Headcanons
Jumin wouldn’t wait too long before sleeping with you. He wants to be different from his father and make sure you’re comfortably together before doing anything beyond kissing, but he also can’t keep his mind from wandering when he’s at work. He wants to claim you utterly and entirely, he needs you to be his.
He would bring it up beforehand, because that’s just who Jumin is but he tries his best not to phrase it like a business exchange. He wouldn’t expect you to have a date in mind or anything like that, but he’d like the greenlight that he can start thinking about things like that. Jumin hasn’t been with anyone beforehand (almost entirely out of disinterest), but he already has basic things like condoms, lubes and a few other items at home, and plans to expand his ‘collection’ as your relationship progresses.
Jumin’s absolutely a wine-and-dine kind of man, so he’d have the full evening planned with you and finish it with accompanying him to his home to enjoy the night’s view from his building. He’d kiss you with a little more passion than usual when outside and things for descend from there. You go over to the sofa for a little while, essentially straddling him and loosening his tie and cufflinks, just to get the situation a little more heated. 
Jumin usually can’t take a hint, but he does this time and continues to kiss you all the way to his bedroom where he has to stop himself from pushing you onto his bed and taking you right there. Where were his manners? Consent and foreplay come before that. Jumin’s actions aren’t fluid at first, but they’re certainly purposeful. He analyses each of your reactions as they come so he can gauge what you like and dislike and quickly turns to teasing you with his fingers and lips. ‘Would you like me to continue?’ He’ll ask, his voice seemingly as cool and collected as ever. - ‘Y-yes...’ You breathe out in response.
Jumin’s a gentleman and despite having no prior experience, he so easily controls the situation. He wants to make tonight about you and how good he can make you feel, he doesn’t feel any particular way about it being his first time in general, what’s most important to him is that it’s your first time together, so he wants to make a good impression. He takes a personal enjoyment in unzipping the back of your dress, commenting on how well the necklace he bought you suits you with a slight smirk.
He’ll comment on how beautiful he thinks your body is and that there’s no need to be embarrassed around him. He’s so considerate of you and your body, he knows how to touch you just right even though he’s never touched you like this before. He always waits until you’re entirely comfortable with what he’s doing with his fingers before progressing to anything more. 
If you’re self conscious about the way you sound, Jumin will put a little bit of light instrumental music on, probably jazz. He’ll first misunderstand and think you’re worried about being overheard and try to assure you that he had no neighbours and it would take him a few seconds to realise what you were actually worried about and he would just melt. Jumin absolutely wants to hear how good he’s making you feel and your moans are turning him on so much, he doesn’t mind having some music play in the background if it means you're more comfortable.
Saeyoung Choi First Time Headcanons 
Seven’s frequently made ‘no sex before marriage’ and ‘save room for Jesus’ jokes, but this boy is horny and no amount of porn and hentai is going to help him sort that out. Seven owns lube but doesn’t actually have any condoms in his possession since he was never actually expecting to get this far, so if you don’t bring one, he’ll either have to run to the store or, most horrifically, ask Vanderwood for one. Vanderwood doesn’t even dignify that text with a response.
There wouldn’t have been a plan or a real conversation beforehand, the two of you would have just been at Seven’s house watching a film or looking at memes on his bed before things got real steamy, real quickly and neither of you were in the mood to stop. You’d climbed on top of him to start kissing him, effectively (but unintentionally) pinning him to the bed when you’re felt him growing hard underneath you. 
This would progress with some dry humping, which definitely made Seven harder and got you in the mood a bit more. You’d find Seven’s hands moved their way up to your hips, guiding your pace as you grinded against him. Seven’s very vocal when he gets into it and he’s a switch anyway so he doesn’t really mind who’s in control as long as you’re both enjoying yourselves. He can’t quite resist the instinct to buck his hips up into you. ‘I don’t mind if you don’t, but do you wanna go any further than this?’ He’ll ask from below before quickly adding, ‘Just, uhh, because if not- which is completely fine, I’ll need to go take care of this in the bathroom-’ - ‘Of course I do, idiot. I’m literally on top of you. Do you want me to stop?’ ‘Definitely not.’ Seven would reply, with a smile and half lidded eyes.
He’ll pull you down onto him, and then roll over so that he was on top of you, his hands quickly finding their way under your t-shirt and massaging at your chest. He’ll probably disappear to go and wash his hands before anything progresses further, since he had just been eating Honey Buddha Chips and didn’t want to touch you with dirty fingers.
If you want him to put on a playlist, it means you have to be willing to take the risk of getting fucked to ‘All Star’ - Smash Mouth and ‘Rasputin’ - Boney M, or God Forbid, just the entire Bee Movie script but the nightcore version of it. That can come at a later date.
You shouldn’t have been surprised that Seven was that good with his fingers, seeing as what he did for a job, but the man had talent. He’d be able to make you cum with his fingers alone more than once given the speed he was able to move them at. 
Seven’s actually a little bit nervous too, since he doesn’t want to be bad for you. He’s spent his whole like thinking he’s a fuck up and he doesn’t want this to be another contribution to that. He needs a little reassurance too. There’s so much kissing and a few lovebites flying around. You even give Seven a couple and you laugh at him, knowing Vanderwood’s going to bully him about it tomorrow.
For the main act, he’d start on top but there’d be a good amount of position switching and you make an attempt at riding him for a bit. There’s a lot of fuck ups and laughter, but there’s even more love involved. He’d want to keep checking in and knowing that he’s making you feel good, but he can tell you’d having a good time from the way you’re riding him and the way you throw your head back every time he thrusts up into you. It’s lucky he has a lot of strength in his arms so he can hold you steady.
GE Saeran Choi First Time Headcanons
With Saeran, your first time would probably happen a bit quicker than people would expect. This man had been so deprived of love and affection for his whole life, and with the future so uncertain, he wanted to experience your love in everyway that you’d allow him. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about you in varying lustful daydreams before, especially when he was alone in his room at Mint Eye, or stuck in front of the monitors in the IT room. Ray nervously fantasised about it, whereas his dark Saeran alter angrily touched himself to a scrunched up photograph of you just to get you out of his mind at night, so it was safe to say he’d thought about it. 
Sex is never just sex to Saeran, it’s offering everything you are to one another. To him, it’s loving, intimate and generous: which is exactly why he wants your first time together to be perfect. The two of you had shared a bed several times since you had nowhere safe to go whilst Saeran’s father and the agency were out for blood, so you tended to hotel hop a little and you both needed to know the other was safe and just have one other’s presence. Besides, Saeran wasn’t accustomed to the outside world yet and he wanted you there for help and guidance. 
Saeran would probably ask you before buying lube and a condom in case you had any preferences, he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself if you aren’t comfortable yet, but he doesn’t want to be caught unprepared if the moment comes. 
 Saeran enjoys giving you romantic surprises now he has the freedom to do so, these include bringing you flowers, filling a bubble bath for you and buying you chocolates since he can’t currently make them. So realistically, your first time would probably be after he innocently did all of these in succession. He’d been working really late at his computer with the intelligence unit and continued working whilst you were in the bath, so when you get out and get into your new (rather short) night dress, generously donated by one of the clothing stores that Jumin owns, and telling him to come to bed for the night because you’ve missed him all day, he practically can’t keep himself from wanting to kiss you. His shoulders are pretty stiff from working at the screen for so long, so you pull him onto the bed with you, embracing Saeran as you lay down together, gently rubbing them to ease the tension.
‘Sweetheart, I swear you look more and more beautiful every time I see you. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, you’re an angel.’ He says as he moves up, cupping your cheek and kissing you gently.
Everything Saeran says to you is from the heart and you so readily reciprocate the love and affection he gives you. He places one hand on your exposed, lower thigh and slowly moves it up to where the hem of the nightdress sits, indicating that he won’t go any further until you tell him that it’s okay. 
Saeran’s movements are slow but determined, he wants to show you physically how much he loves you, he wants to make you feel good while he can. He’d ask you to lay back on the bed so he can kiss you and touch you at the same time, touching you gently over your underwear first and then underneath when he asked you if it was alright for him to do that. ‘My love, I want to try and make you feel even better than this. Will you let me?’ he asks before he’s between your legs, gently moving your thighs apart so he can pull your underwear down. 
Your inner thighs are covered in kisses and maybe even a little lovebite here and there. Saeran gives you a lot of attention with his mouth and he’s a little shaky at first but he’s very determined to figure out what you like best. He tends to tease you a bit, both intentionally and unintentionally. It makes him feel proud that he can get these kinds of reactions out of you, and a touch possessive that he’s the only one who can. He’d definitely want to make you cum with his mouth first, and then use his fingers on you since he wants your first time with him to be as painless as possible.
Saeran doesn’t actually expect any kind of solo treatment in return, so he’s absolutely ready to melt when you reciprocate the attention on him and he definitely has to make you stop after only a few short minutes because he doesn’t want to finish too early.
He’s almost instantly overwhelmed with sensation when he actually enters you and he has to concentrate for a minute or so to, firstly, let you adjust and secondly so he doesn’t cum right away. He’s a little self-conscious at how sensitive he is but it’s okay, he’ll get used to it with time.
He’ll kiss at your eyes and face while he’s waiting for you to adjust to him and give him the go ahead to move. His heart is thudding in his chest and it feels like a flutter he’s never experienced before, he has such infinite tenderness and affection for you and he’s so full of love to be able to show you that.
V/Jihyun Kim First Time Headcanons
V’s a man that plans ahead, so when he felt like the relationship was getting a little more serious, he’d make sure he had in-date condoms and a new bottle of lube for when things for a more intimate. He always tries to be considerate so figured he should buy these things in preparation to save you the embarrassment but wouldn’t mention it until you brought it up first. This was definitely a relationship that progressed slowly, since he had a lot of healing and self-work to do, it felt like he had to learn how to love all over again. 
It would have been a late night with him, you’d have had a date that day and gone back to V’s for dinner with a glass of wine. You’d ask to go and see the starry night sky from his porch, with V laying down a blanket so the two of you didn’t have to sit directly on the cold floor. He’d gaze at you looking at the stars and have a sudden urge to kiss you, which then progressed into more and more kisses. V would lean you back onto the floor and would be to the side of you, leaning over and kissing you. Your hands are pressed against his chest as you enjoy the feeling of him cradling you so lost to him.
Perhaps it was the cold air that made the space between you feel so heated, but when V broke off the kiss to catch his breath, you immediately started kissing your way down his jaw and into his neck. You’d been waiting a while for your first time with him, and you didn’t want to rush him, but you were also so ready for him to just take you on that cold blanket outside on the porch. His warm hand squeezed your upper thigh and you thought for a second that he was going to tell you to stop, but instead he asked: ‘My love, don’t you think you’d enjoy this more on a bed?’
Once you’re in his bed, it’s like V unleashed a level of affection that he had been holding back for so long. He asks regularly if you’re okay with what he’d doing and that you can tell him to stop anytime that you want him to. You ask him, in turn if he’s sure that he’s ready and V assures you that he is, and that he doesn’t want to keep you waiting anymore.
He asks to take a photograph of you, nothing not safe for work (not yet), but he wants a picture of you on the bed, slightly out of breath with big doe eyes and puffy lips from the kisses you shared. It’ll be one of his favourite pictures of you for a while to come, and he’ll keep it in his most prized collection.
V gets hard just from touching you, he barely needs any friction of his own to be fully erect. And speaking of touching you, he does not stop. He’ll make you finish his his mouth, and then his fingers, and then his mouth again so that you’re absolutely ruined before he’s even gotten started. He was in a relationship for so long so he knows what he’s doing and the fact that he’s such a giving person means that you’re going to be entirely overcome with pleasure before he’s even inside you. You feel a little guilty about getting so much attention, but he insists that you deserve all of this and more.
He’ll put a little bit of music on if you want, but he honestly just prefers it to be the two of you. Your moans and praises are like music to him anyway, and that’s all he needs. He’s into body worship and he’ll praise and kiss every inch of you and make sure that you feel absolutely worshipped by him. 
He sets the pace to be what seems to make you dig you your fingers into his back and the bedsheets the hardest, and he can’t help but chuckle at how cute he thinks you look underneath him.
He puts so much into it that you really can’t describe it as anything other than ‘love making’ and it was most definitely worth the wait.
1K notes · View notes
nsheetee · 4 years ago
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One Foot in the Golden Life
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Pairing: rich kid!renjun x caddie!reader Genre: rich kid AU, university au, romance, slight angst, mature content Length: 9.7k Summary: this is the story of a boy who is constantly pushed down by his father, a girl who just wants to not live paycheck to paycheck, and how they met on a golf course.  Warnings/Details: includes mentions of other NCT members, female reader, swearing, inaccurate depiction of golf, acts of sexual harassment towards the reader, mature content (unprotected sex, coming inside, oral [female receiving])
a/n: a big thank you to @insomni-writing​ for beta reading this ♡ also, if you are a minor, please beware that there is mature content in this fic!
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You thought it would be the perfect opportunity to work at the most well-known country club in the state, but really the only thing your job brought you was perpetual cold to your hands and feet, and entangled your simple life with one of the youngest and richest bachelors at your university.
The only place on top of Mt. Carla is the Augusta Country Club, and it is a sight to see by the regular people who gaze up at it from the city below, like mortals looking up into the Gods’ chamber. The first time you went up the mountain for your job interview at the club, you got lost and were almost late. Thankfully, you didn’t crash your car on the winding roads, and got the job as well.
The Augusta Country Club is equipped with the largest and most expensive golf course in the region, but also has Michilin approved restaurants and the finest saunas and gym equipment any CEO could ask for. Those are usually the type of people that have club memberships: CEO’s, congress men and women, top-notch lawyers, and maybe the odd business owner that made it big enough to afford the price tag.
When you took up the job as a caddie, you had an idea of what you were getting yourself into. You’ve only been working for a month, but there are already a few regular golf players that prefer you as their caddie, which in your book is a success considering the type of high profile people that come to relax here.
However, today is different.
You can sense it when Kara and Mina, your coworkers who have been working here for a year longer than you, walk towards you and your friend, Lia, before your shift today. Mina has a small stack of info cards in her hands and they both hold smug smiles on their faces. The info cards have everything a caddie needs to know about who they’ll be working for that shift, and by the looks of it, today’s game will have a good match up.
“I’m going to be Mr. Huang’s son’s caddie. Don’t even fight me on this, you know I’ll win.” Kara states boldly as the two girls stop in front of you, snatching an info card out of Mina’s hand when she holds them up like she’s playing a card game, flashing the photos and names on the cards at you.
“I call dibs on Mr. Lee’s son.” Mina hums, not even bothering to keep up the act that they just want to be good caddies. “You two can have the old men.” She smiles tightly, shoving the other two info cards into Lia’s grasp and turning on her heel to walk away with Kara.
Considering you don’t even know what they’re talking about, you have no right to be mad at them. There is more confusion clouding your mind than anger at their rudeness. However, Lia does not share the same sentiment.
“I’ll shove these info cards up their-” Lia fumes, her volume rising as the sentence went on, and you quickly pulled her out of ear shot, around a corner by the bathrooms. “-stuck up two faced asses!”
“Lia…” You mutter, her wording making you shake your head at how unstable her temper is, “They’ve been working here for a lot longer than we have, just let them have those clients. Either way, what’s it to you?”
“What’s it to me? ___, they’re talking about Lee Jeno and Huang Renjun. I know I told you about them before.” Lia states like she expects you to have those two names tattooed on the front lobe of your brain already.
“I think I remember them…. They go to our University, right?” You try to regurgitate your friend’s rambles from months ago out of your head.
“Yeah, business department.” She sighs dreamily, as if the business department is the sexiest thing on campus. “This might be our only chance to shoot our shot.” You can’t help but grimace a bit.
“It can be your chance to shoot your shot. Leave me out of this.” You randomly grab an info card out of Lia’s hands, turning it around to see Mr. Huang Lijun’s photo staring back at you. You send Lia one last look, walking around her to go change in the dressing rooms.
“Aw, you’re no fun.” You hear her whine, her footsteps echo through the hallway as she comes up behind you. She almost knocks you into the wall from how forcefully she grabs onto your arm and swings it back and forth like you’re two little kids on your way to the playground.
“Maybe we can shoot our shot at the old men?” You and Lia stop walking, turning to face each other for a moment of silence. You blink at each other as if you’re both considering it, before erupting into laughter at the ridiculous thought and continue walking down the hallway.
You and Lia constantly joke around about finding rich sugar daddies at work to pay for your college tuition, but both of you know you’ll never actually commit to the idea fully. Neither of you will admit it, but you both know you don’t have the guts to do something like that.
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By the time you, Lia, and your other coworkers change into uniform and gather your supplies for the Lee vs. Huang game, it’s already 10am. The air is crisp and cool, the signs of fall creep along your skin and taint the deep green trees in light oranges and yellows.
Despite the chill, you and your coworkers still wear skirts, long sleeve v-necks, and puffy vests; the only thing keeping your feet warm is a pair of short white socks and tennis shoes. You don’t mind the chill knowing that once the game starts you’ll be moving around enough to get warm. You stop thinking about your cold toes as soon as the door of the country club opens and the Lees and Huangs walk out.
The first time you lay eyes on Huang Renjun, you think your heart might stop.
You know it’s him because he walks close to his father as they make their way to where you’re standing by the golf carts. He has obviously dyed blonde color, his dark roots proof of that; it’s neatly gelled back in an effortless way with the light wind blowing a few of the locks gently as if an angel is personally moving them for him. His white jacket and black pants are slim and look like they cost more than all of your college textbooks this semester. He walks with his head high, his pretty, pink lips set in a straight line, and his almond eyes gentle.
Okay, so... maybe you understand the hype now.
“Good evening, ladies.” Mr. Lee announces, looking at you and your coworkers. You all politely introduce yourself and state who you’ll be caddying for.
Huang Lijun isn’t as tall as his son, but he looks to be more lively than Renjun, even at his age. He has a permanent smile on his lips and you can feel a friendly demeanor radiating from him when you approach.  
“Good Morning, sir. Let me take those off of your hands.” You politely grab the bag of clubs from him, feeling shy as his gaze doesn’t leave your face the entire time.
“You’re new here, right? I feel like I would remember you if I saw you before.” You’re surprised when he suddenly pinches your cheek, and he laughs at your shocked face. An unsettled feeling plants itself at the bottom of your stomach at the unwarranted touch.
“I’ve only been working here for a month, sir.”
“I think I’ll be coming around here more often, then.” He winks at you and turns to go sit in the front seat of the golf cart. You can’t help but let the feeling at the bottom of your stomach grow at how the older man looks at you. You definitely misjudged his “friendly” demeanor. Your eyes can’t help but glance at Renjun, who’s standing a few feet away from the whole interaction. He gives you a blank stare before turning and following his father.
In the past few weeks, you had gotten many lustful smiles and lewd gazes at your bare legs, but also many dollars in tips just in one morning by letting those smiles and gazes happen. The need to make ends meet justifies it all, and the cash you earn at the end of every shift only fuels this need.
The ride from the club’s main building to the first hole is short, so you quickly recompose yourself. You still have a job to do— a job you’re being paid lots of money for. You believe in your strong will to put up with whatever antics Mr. Huang pulls for the next few hours. Upon arrival at the first hole, you pull the bag of golf clubs out of the cart and follow in Mr. Huang’s quick footsteps, suddenly feeling sweaty from the exercise you’re getting by carrying these heavy clubs. When your group reaches the first hole, you set the bag down on the ground and press your hand over your face, but Mr. Huang’s voice startles you.
“Woah, there.” You jump and face him. “Those clubs cost more than my car, and unlike my car, they don’t deserve to be on the ground, darling.”
“Yes, sir. I apologize.” You smile shyly and pick up the clubs from the ground, your shoulders already straining to keep them up. ‘They weigh as much as a car,’ you huff.
This is going to be a long game.
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“You kids can clean the carts today,” Mina suddenly throws a keychain at Lia’s face, she barely catches it before it hits her, “I have plans.”
“Me, too.” Kara quickly says, following after Mina as they both walk away. The game ended right at lunchtime (the Lees won) and now you and your coworkers are back at the club. It’s supposed to be everyone’s job to clean the golf carts after they’ve been used, but it looks like today it’ll just be you and Lia… Maybe.
“___, please. I’m going to be late to the cafe, my boss there is already mad at me.” Lia turns to you and begs with her hands clasped in front of her chest, eyes pleading and feet bouncing. You sigh; you’re hungry and your muscles are sore, and all you want to do is go home as quickly as you can. Still, you roll your eyes and take the golf cart keys from her, making her face crack open into a smile as she hugs you quickly.
“I’ll bring you coffee on Monday!” She screams at you as she practically runs away, leaving you with two golf carts to clean. You sluggishly begin, crawling into the cart the Huangs were sitting in when you find a small notebook laying on one of the seats. Picking it up to examine it, you find out it’s your university’s yearly planner, a book that everyone gets at the beginning of every academic year. Along the binder reads “Huang Renjun” and your eyes widen, immediately looking up to glance at the direction that Renjun walked off to a while ago.
Your legs move quickly through the corridors of the club, moving past changing rooms, saunas, and bathrooms, the planner tightly clutched in your hand. Your head is on a swivel and your lower lip is stuck between your teeth, until you hear a door open and slam shut behind you, making you turn your head to catch Renjun walking out of a changing room.
“Mr. Huang!” You call out.. Renjun freezes at the name, spinning on his heel to see you walking towards him.
“Sorry to disturb you, but you left your planner on the golf cart.” You hold it out for him, but he doesn’t take it.
“How do you know it’s a planner? Did you look through it?” You blink at him, stunned, and then glance down at the notebook. You’re surprised by the sudden questions and at the same time annoyed that Renjun accused you of snooping through his things so quickly. The image you had of him earlier, graceful, classy, and attractive, slips out of your mind as he stares down at you. However, this is the first time he’s directly talking to you, and you can’t help the spark that ignites in your belly from the roughness in his voice. It’s higher-pitched, but unpolished and jagged as he speaks with you.
“No. I go to the same University. I have the same one.” You explain. Renjun’s stare turns into shock.
“Really? Which department?”
“Fine Arts. I study Studio Art.” At first you think that you’re seeing things, but after blinking, you can guarantee that Renjun has jealousy painted on his face. It’s so sour that he looks away, trying to preoccupy his hands by fiddling with his bag. “So, are you going to take this, or…?”
“Yeah,” The bitterness drips from his tone, but you have a feeling it’s not directed at you, “Thank you for returning it.” He finally accepts it and turns to his bag, taking out his wallet. The cards inside look thick and heavy; memberships to places you’ll never step foot in and credit cards with limits you could never even imagine. Your pride tells you that you don’t need anything he could give you, so you silently turn around and walk away.
Renjun shuffles through some crisp 10’s and 20’s, but when he looks up to give you the tip, you’re already down the hallway and halfway out the door. You have golf carts to clean.
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The next time you see Renjun is a week after the last game. The chilly weather remains, along with the useless uniform you have to wear, but this time around you’re not Mr. Huang’s caddie, you’re Renjun’s.
Kara walks next to you with Mr. Huang’s heavy golf clubs, her lips straight and head turned away from you to show her annoyance at how the caddie match up situation went this week. You’re sure to get an earful about this for at least the next few days, but you kind of like this revenge that fate dealt Kara. Either way, it’s not like there’s anything you can do about the match up. Renjun requested you to be his caddie this week, and you weren’t going to risk your bosses being angry with you by denying the request.
“Driver.” Renjun’s voice pulls you into the game. You pull out the correct golf club and put it into his awaiting hand, your fingertips brushing with his. “Aren’t you cold?” The words shock you, considering they’re the first words Renjun spoke to you today other than commands for golf clubs.
“I-I’m fine, Mr. Huang.” You respond promptly.
“Don’t call me that.” His tone is icy, and he quickly realizes how unnecessary it is to bite at you like that, “Just call me Renjun.” His father walks back from his shot, looking very smug. Renjun’s face is calm as he trades spots with his father and prepares for his first swing of the day, correcting his posture and loosening his limbs.
You remember the first time you saw him, how elegant and poised he looked. Your cold hands break into a sweat as your chest heats up from the quick beating of your heart. Renjun has only been icy and accusing towards you so far, yet you still feel warm while thinking about him. There has to be something wrong with you.
“Doesn’t my son look like he knows what he’s doing?” Mr. Huang asks from beside you, a small, unnerving smile on his lips.
“Yes, sir.” You reply back with your own, more innocent, smile.
“I taught him everything he knows about golf…. And women.” Mr. Huang leans into you, turning his chest to face you so that his breath is hitting your cheek. You can’t help but swallow to relieve your dry and cold throat, keeping your eyes forward as Renjun swings his club back and forth a bit in preparation.
“Yes, sir.” The only thought on your mind is to stop this man from stepping closer.
“Is that the only thing you can say?”
Renjun swings his arm back, breathing in as he keeps his eyes on the small white ball and his hopes in the green before him. Mr. Huang’s right hand is warm on your waist, but you would give anything to freeze right now.
A sharp crack ripples through the air as Renjun hits the golf ball and sends it flying into the golf course. His eyes are not where the ball lands, but instead on where his father touches you.
Renjun’s mom died when he was not even three days old.
He never got to meet her— to lay on her chest and hold her finger with his whole hand. He’ll never know what advice she would’ve given him when he got his first girlfriend, and he’ll never know how she would’ve reacted to him crashing his first car when he was 17. He only knows that his mom would’ve been there for him through all of that, unlike his father, who was not.
Renjun has had “mothers” through his life; three, to be exact. The first was when he was 5 years old, and she quickly asked for a divorce after Renjun’s dad went on a three month business trip and she didn’t hear from him the whole time. The second “mother” was a bit more mature than the first and with a lot more time on her hands. She wanted to shape 9 year old Renjun into a perfect student, which was something Renjun’s father appreciated, but still divorced her for “being too strong-headed.” Renjun only met his third mother twice when he was 13: once at the wedding and the second time at her funeral. He didn’t ask any questions, he wasn’t very interested in the first place.
These were the type of people Renjun spent his life around, but they really weren’t his mothers. The only similarity he had with those women was his father, and he treated them as poorly as he treated Renjun. That’s why when Renjun looks at you, cowering away from the very man who is his only link to family, he feels sick.
When is his dad going to stop being a fucking predator? How young does he want his next conquest to be? Will Renjun’s next mom be the same age as him? Something swirls in the pit of his stomach when he watches his father and it takes a moment for him to figure out what it is: jealousy. He’s not sure why he’s feeling jealous over someone he just met last week, but the feeling engulfs his whole chest and it burns him to his spot.
Renjun doesn’t even notice that he swung his golf club or that the golf ball went somewhere far into the green, probably an overshot. He only sees you, afraid of the man touching you but not stepping away. Why aren’t you stepping away?
“Nice job, Renjun.” His best friend, Jeno, claps a hand on his back as he steps up, hitting Renjun back into reality and forcing him to walk towards you. As Renjun approaches, his father slyly takes his hand away, and Renjun notices how you let out a relieved sigh. Giving you back his driver, Renjun strategically stands between you and his father, pretending to watch Jeno swing.
“Good job… Renjun.” You whisper, unsure about calling him by his first name so informally.
“Thank you.” Renjun sends a side glance to his father to see the displeased look on his face. “How was that, Dad?” Renjun hopes that maybe he can remind his father of why he’s here (to win against the Lees this week, not to feel up a girl 30 years younger than him) but in this moment, his father is acting like a 5 year old in the middle of a silent tantrum, not a 50 year old who runs the most successful construction company in the country.
“I’ve taught you better than that.” Renjun is sure they’re not talking about golf anymore, the authoritative tone in his father’s voice sends a lightning bolt of surprise and slight fear down Renjun’s back. He hates how he gets scared, he hates how his father can control him. The fury churns in the pit of his stomach as he accepts his father’s words with a bow of his head.
One day, Renjun swears he won’t submit anymore.
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After the game ended with the Lees winning once again, you, Lia, and your other coworkers convene at the golf carts after the clients leave to change inside the club.
“You ladies know the drill.” Kara throws both sets of golf cart keys at you before walking off with Mina. You push Lia towards the entrance of the building before she even has a chance to turn around and open her mouth.
“You should get to the cafe before your boss throws another fit.” Lia turns back to face you, her jaw slightly slack and her eyes shining.
“You’re seriously the best. I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah, just give me a few extra shots in my coffee on Monday.” Lia laughs at that, grabbing your face between her two small, manicured hands and kissing you on each cheek before hopping off inside. You can’t help but be amused at her antics, turning to the golf carts in front of you to start cleaning.
“They make you clean the carts by yourself?” The voice startles you, not because you weren’t expecting it but because it’s Renjun’s. You turn your head over your shoulder, he’s standing just a few feet away still in his golfing gear from earlier.
“Uh, not usually, no. But my coworkers haven’t been happy with me lately.” You explain, fully turning to him and crossing your arms over your chest to tuck your cold hands into your sides.
“The ones who have been working here for a while?” You nod as an answer, and Renjun nods back in understanding, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. “They’ve been trying to get with me and my best friend for a while...” Renjun trails off when he sees your eyebrows raise at the comment, “... But that’s not what I came here to talk about.”
“Oh? What are you here for?” The conversation has gotten too informal for a worker and their client to be having, but you kind of like talking to Renjun in this casual setting.
“I realized that the past few times we’ve talked I’ve been such a dick.” He laughs lightly as he remembers, “I wanted to apologize for that. I wasn’t in a good mood last week and this morning, and I ended up pushing it on you.”
Renjun feels lots of emotions when it comes to you, despite only having this one proper conversation with you. He feels envy towards you for being able to study something that he desperately wants to. He feels guilt when he remembers how quickly he made you into a thief when you were only trying to return his belongings, and he feels so many other secondary and tertiary emotions in between. His head is full when he looks at you. He finally feels like he’s thinking about something, not just doing the same day to day motions in a constant cycle of ‘when will this end?’
“You’re apologizing?” You ask, stunned when he nods his head in confirmation. Sincere apologies are important to you. You believe there are not enough of them in this world anymore, and his gentle almond eyes are too wholehearted and warm for you in this cold weather. Your heart feels full looking at him, and you curse at yourself in your head for being swayed like this.
“I also have a question… You mentioned you’re majoring in Studio Art and I was wondering if, maybe, you could let me into one of the studios after a class this week? I’ve been needing a quiet place to work since my house has been busy lately.” One of the hands that was in Renjun’s pocket moves to matte down his sideburns while he glances at his shoes. “Was that too forward? Sorry, I just know that you can’t get into a studio without a passcode and you’re the only person I know who’s in Studio Art.” Renjun explains after you stare for a while, blinking at him.
“You’re an artist?” You finally ask, Renjun giving you a weak ‘yeah’ in response. A part of you wants to say no, that it’ll be weird to do something like this for him when you’ve only known him for less than 2 weeks and up until this point, you’ve only been in a worker-client relationship. However, you’re curious about what he’s like outside of this setting, especially what he’s like when his father has no possibility of appearing, since that seems to be the factor that turns his mood up or down.
“Sure. Come by studio 3 after 6pm on Wednesday and I’ll let you in, but... I heard Mr. Lee already scheduled a game for next weekend?” Renjun nods, “Then in return, you can win that game. It’s embarrassing always being on the losing team.” You smile playfully at the end to let him know you’re only joking.
“Deal.” Renjun sends a smile back of the same caliber, holding out a hand to shake with yours. If you thought you were affected by Renjun’s nice presence, his hand in yours sends you into another realm. His touch is warm from staying indoors and from keeping his hands in his pockets, and they contrast to your cold skin. He sucks in a breath through his teeth when your hands connect, turning your hand in his grip to look at your knuckles. “Are you sure you’re not cold? Your hands are freezing.”
“I’ll be okay. I just don’t have any good gloves to wear while working.” He huffs, small traces of white smoke leaves his mouth as he digs through his pockets.
“Wear these.” He replaces his hand in yours with a pair of his own gloves, “Your hands are precious, they shouldn’t be freezing.” Before Renjun can get embarrassed by his own words, he shoves his hands back into his pockets and turns on his heel, walking away, “I’ll see you on Wednesday!”
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A knock on the studio doors shakes you away from staring at your painting, making you turn to look at who it is. Renjun peaks through the small window and waves when you make eye contact. You get up to open the door, almost forgetting that today is the day you agreed to let Renjun into your studio.
… Okay, that’s a lie. You definitely remembered that you’re supposed to meet Renjun, but you keep trying to convince yourself that you’re not excited about seeing him outside of that stuffy country club.
“Hey, sorry if I startled you.” Is the first thing he says when you open the door. He’s dressed in slacks, a dress shirt with a sweater over it, and a long coat over that. His nose and cheeks are slightly red from the rough wind outside and his supplies are clutched to his chest.
“Oh, you’re fine. I was just deep in thought.” Something about the studio makes both of you speak in hushed tones. No one else is here, but you feel the need to maintain the peace and quiet the room naturally holds. You and Renjun make your way to where you’re set up, he puts his things down on an easel to your left and takes off his coat, watching you from his peripheral vision.
Those uniforms they make you wear at work are just for show, Renjun knows that well, but that doesn’t stop him from appreciating you in the tight vest and little skirt. However right now, he likes your laid back look consisting of loose jeans and a layered shirt, he thinks it matches you.
“I was going to leave when you got here, but I think I’ll just finish this and head out.” You comment, aimlessly waving at your project.
“Please, stay as long as you need to. This is your studio, I don’t want to kick you out.” He laughs and licks his bottom lip. It’s breathtaking how innocent and nice his smile looks on his face. His eyes scrunch together to form laugh lines and his cheeks rise, he truly looks pretty when he smiles. You think this is the first time you’ve seen him like this.
You mumble back with a mixture of words that probably didn’t make sense and turn back to your work, leaving the room to continue with its peacefulness and quiet. However, Renjun’s presence next to you is too big to ignore. There are so many things you want to know about him and you have no excuse as to why you’re so curious.
“How about a game while we work?” You suggest.
“Sure… How about 20 questions?” It’s like he read your mind, so you smile and nod at his idea.
“You can go first.” You suggest.
“Okay, uh… Why do you work at a golf course if you’re majoring in Studio Art? Shouldn’t you be working at a, I don’t know, museum?” The question catches you off guard and Renjun notices how you stop painting, your brush and your hand floating in the air as you think, “Oh, sorry, is that too personal?”
“No, no… It’s just, normally, the first question people ask in a game of 20 questions is something like ‘what’s your favorite color’ or ‘what’s your sign’.” Renjun lets out a choked and embarrassed laugh, ducking his head down to look away from you. You can tell he’s about to change his question, so you quickly go back to painting and speak before he can.
“I did apply to work at several museums. I didn’t get any jobs, so I had to look elsewhere and Augusta was hiring. I know it’s not very fitting, but it makes good money and rich people know my name, even if it’s for just a few hours.” Renjun nods at your answer as if he could ever understand the idea of being poor, but the insight into your decision brings a fact to light that Renjun wasn’t 100% aware of before: you’re not like him, you need money.
“Don’t you hate the way people look at you there?” The words tumble out of Renjun’s lips faster than he can process the weight they carry. He turns to face you with guilt pooling in his eyes and his mouth opening and closing to find some words to correct the situation.
“No, I don’t like it.” You surprise him with your quick response, “But people like you don’t understand what it’s like to live paycheck to paycheck, to have to worry about how to pay the bills every month for years on end, always on your toes about money. I bet you think I’m cheap and—”
“No.” Renjun cuts you off promptly before you can continue, “Don’t make me into a jerk. I’m not like that. But the fact that that is the first thing you thought of worries me.” Your eyes widen at that, prompting him to elaborate. “Doesn’t that mean that’s how you think of yourself? Maybe not on the outside, but subconsciously. Sure, I won’t ever be able to understand how you live, but I wish you would not look at yourself as cheap and think of yourself as… beautiful.” Renjun lets the last words linger on his tongue, saying it quietly as if to not startle you.
You stare at him, your paintbrush resting in your hand and your back slouched as you watch him watch you. This is not the type of conversation you thought you’d be having with Renjun tonight, but you have to admit he makes a point. Eventually, you turn to your painting and stare at it some more, making Renjun turn and continue his own work.
“Ah, I asked two questions in a row.” He suddenly breaks the tense atmosphere, making you sigh as you remember you’re just playing a game, “You can ask two questions.”
He allows and relaxes when he sees you go back to painting.
“If you like to draw, why are you a business major?” Now it’s Renjun’s turn to freeze. Maybe if he did ask what your favorite color was he wouldn’t have had to endure this question from you, but he feels like he should answer it since it’s of equal weight to the one he asked you.
“It wasn’t my choice. I will most likely take my father’s place in his company and I need to at least know the basics before that happens.” You nod slowly. He looks so calm when he’s focused on drawing, but it’s not the same calm that you see on his face when he’s playing golf. You turn away before you get caught staring.
“Is that why your mood always changes when your dad is around?”
“Is it that obvious…” He trails off and you nod, “I can’t believe I’m about to say this out loud, but… It’s like everytime I’m around him, or at his office, or at home, my mind goes blank. I don’t feel like talking or thinking at all.” As he speaks, he sets down his utensils and turns to you, making continuous eye contact as he explains. You find yourself feeling comfortable at how easily he’s talking to you about such a deep subject.
“It sounds like… you’re angry.” You turned to face him now too, your paintbrush settled onto your canvas and your full attention on him, “My dad is like that. He gets so angry sometimes that he’s calm. No yelling or fighting, just silence. That’s how I know I messed up when he gets like that.” You nod, remembering all the times he’s been calmly mad at you.
“I don’t know… It’s confusing to me.” He straightens his back and stares at your foot as it moves around aimlessly. “What do I do?” He asks into the air, as if his pencil would suddenly start talking to him like a therapist.
“Just do what makes you happy.” Renjun’s glance over at you makes a smile pull at your lips, “I know it’s easier said than done. But you already know what it is that’ll make you happy, and that’s half of the battle. Why bottle it up?”
Renjun doesn’t know how he’ll ever get the courage to tell his father these things, but the way you’re looking at him as if he can do anything, he starts to feel tingles of confidence trickle into him.
“Oh, and why did you pick me to be your caddie this past weekend?”
“Well…” Renjun plays with his pencil. What is he supposed to say? He doesn’t want you to carry around his father’s heavy golf clubs? He doesn’t like the way his father touches you and gets jealous over it for some unknown reason? Yeah, he’s not going to say.
“Just because… I wanted you next to me.” The way he says it makes it sound so simple and true, but your heart drops to your stomach and springs back up going at 100 miles per hour. You can barely stop your hand from shaking as you pick up your brush, and it’s almost like you can’t see in front of you from the thrill of his words.
“Hey,” Renjun suddenly drops his pencil and turns to you, looking a bit confused and slightly upset, “Didn’t you ask three questions?”
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“We’re letting the Lees win again today.” Renjun is in the middle of pulling up the zipper of his jacket when his father drops the news. Renjun’s footsteps stutter slightly at his father’s words and he stops walking next to the older man.
“Again?” He asks as he already thinks up an apology to tell you later when he loses.
“Yes, I need Mr. Lee to be happy when I bring up the new contract to him later in the sauna.” Renjun sighs and continues to walk next to his father. It’s the next weekend, and the third Lee vs. Huang game is starting in just a few minutes.
Renjun won’t lie, purposefully losing to his best friend and his dad every week is not the greatest stroke to Renjun’s ego, especially since Jeno won’t let it down around his other friends.
“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Lijun swivels on his heel to look at his son, “Have you been requesting for ___ to be your caddie?”
The questions stuns Renjun, making it hard to answer so his father takes it as a yes.
“Well stop it. Dad wants to have some fun.” He claps a hand on Renjun’s back and  smiles. In the past, Renjun would’ve just rolled his eyes and let his father do whatever he wants, but this time his blood boils. He feels true anger when his father struts away with the intentions of doing whatever he wants to someone Renjun cares about. He can barely move his feet after the old man, his mind cloudy as everyone makes it to the golf carts.
“Let’s have a good game today, Mr. Huang, don’t make it too easy to beat you.” Mr. Lee jokes around and the two old men laugh as they settle into their own golf carts. Renjun walks up to his cart and you wave to him, the white gloves he gave you last week snugly on your hands. Renjun thinks his anger is what spurs him into doing what he does next.
He steps close to you, leaning into your ear and wrapping his hand around your covered ones with his thumb rubbing on your exposed wrist, “Keep these on for me, babe. I don’t want you to be cold.”
The amount of jaws that drops after Renjun’s words makes him bite down his smirk and slide into the front seat of the golf cart, pretending to not see the daggers his father is  throwing at him with his eyes.
Your heart beats so quickly and loudly you’re sure Kara can hear it next to you if she wasn’t busy huffing about what Renjun just did. Sitting in the back seat of the golf cart, you watch the back of Renjun’s head on the way to the first hole. What got into Renjun? Why did he all of a sudden call you ‘babe’ and get so close? Not that you’re opposed to it, you’re just shocked.
The game begins once you reach the first hole, and the Huang’s put up a good fight throughout the entire game, keeping the Lees on their toes and the score sheet even. Everytime Renjun comes back from a shot, you smile at him and tell him good job, which earns you a pat on the back from him that warms you up from the inside out.
Renjun can tell his father is getting more and more annoyed with him; how Renjun is keeping you as far from his father as he possibly can, the gentle touches on your waist that you welcome wholeheartedly compared to the ones Mr. Huang would lay on you before. He likes how angry his father gets, especially knowing that he can’t do anything about it right now. Not to mention, you seem to be enjoying Renjun’s attention, which just adds to his confidence.
Now, your group arrives at the last hole of the game. The Lees step up and swing, setting their total score to 357. All Renjun and his father have to do is move the ball around a bit more to get their score to be higher and the Lees will win the game. Mr. Huang is up first, acting clumsy so that the ball doesn’t make it into the hole and brings the game to Renjun.
As he sets up his posture, his hands suddenly go stiff. This shot is so easy to make, he has made this exact hole several times. He breathes in and out deeply, deciding on if he should throw the game like his father said he should, or give his one last ‘fuck you’ to his Dad.
He glances at you and makes eye contact; you nod your head and smile a bit as if to say ‘go ahead, we all know you can do this.’ Renjun then grips his golf club and swings it back to effortlessly hit the golf ball, rolling it along the green and perfectly into the hole.
You and the other caddies clap for the perfectly executed shot and Jeno and his father come up to Renjun to shake hands. They don’t look upset, instead they look pretty happy for Renjun. However, Renjun’s father is deathly silent, not even congratulating Renjun on his win. Renjun wasn’t expecting a whole ceremony for him, but it does feel nice to put his father down a peg or two today, and that’s the thought that fills Renjun’s head as everyone rides back to the country club.
While getting out of the golf cart, Renjun attempts to turn back to you but is promptly pulled away by the back of his jacket by his father. Renjun yelps and pulls away, but that doesn’t stop Lijun from grabbing onto his son’s arm instead and pulling him inside.
“What was that? I specifically told you to lose the game and you did the exact opposite. How am I supposed to talk to Mr. Lee now?” Renjun’s father fumes, his low voice belting out into the corridor and making some of the passing staff turn their heads.
“That’s not my problem.” Renjun shrugs and his father stops shaking, stepping closer to his son.
“Excuse me?” He asks with menace dripping from his tongue.
“I said, that’s not my problem.” Renjun is fired up. He doesn’t see a way out of this now, no way his behavior is being excused, so might as well go all in.
“You did it for that caddie, ___, right?” His father squints his eyes and turns his head slightly. When Renjun doesn’t answer, Lijun laughs in his face, “It looks like I’m right.”
“What?” Renjun asks dumbly.
“It’s okay. You’re just a boy and you can make some mistakes over a girl, we’ve all been there once or twice.” Lijun fixes Renjun’s jacket and pats his shoulder, his angry disposition turning passive. “Besides, you can’t do much for that girl anyway. Is a ball in a hole really all she deserves?”
“I won the game because I could. I won it because that’s what I wanted.” Renjun states, his blood beginning to boil once again when his father says he doesn’t deserve you. What is he thinking? Does he actually think he has a chance with you? He can keep dreaming.
“We can’t always do whatever we want. There are consequences we have to face for doing whatever we want. Are you ready to face the consequences?” At the question, Renjun is reminded about the words you told him Wednesday night.
‘Just do what makes you happy,’ Those simple words are so hard to turn into reality. Renjun wants to be happy so bad. He wants to be away from this man and he wants to be closer to you. The consequences? Sure, he’ll deal with it all if it means he can stop living in the personal hell his father set up for him. Renjun pushes his father away a bit and steps out of the trap his father pushed him into, making Lijun’s eyes widen.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” Renjun says and turns around, walking back towards the exit of the building.
“Hey, where are you going?” His father shouts after him.
“To do the thing that I want to do the most.” He yells back and walks around the corner, out of sight from his father. Renjun practically runs through the hallways to get back outside and run to you, but you surprise him by greeting him by the saunas. He stops in his steps and you smile as you walk up to him.
“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you did really well today. I know I said I wanted you to win last week, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” You laugh.
“Thanks.” Renjun simply says, afraid of what else could come out if he keeps talking.
“Oh, I also want to give you these back.” You dig out Renjun’s gloves from your pocket, holding them out. This is it. This is the moment Renjun will start to do whatever makes him happy, whatever he wants.
And what he wants right now is you.
He quickly takes the gloves and then tightly grips the wrist of your outstretched hand, leading you down the hallway and around some corner. He hears you exclaim a small ‘woah’ but you let him guide you into a sauna, the door closing tightly behind both of you.
There’s no one else in the room, just the stuffy steam that floats in the small space between you two. Renjun has a tight grip on the gloves you gave back to him and his other hand runs through his hair and messes up the perfect form it held.
“Tell me to stop.” He demands, looking straight into your eyes.
“What?”
“Tell me to stop right now.” He takes a step forward, his eyes full to the brim with lust and his hands shaking with how much he’s holding himself together. You’ve barely been in the room for a minute, but your clothes are already sticking to you from the intense heat.
“I don’t understand,” You reply back as he keeps moving toward you. You take small steps back in return, “I don’t know what I’m stopping you from.” Half of you is playing dumb right now; you know what Renjun wants from you just by the look in his eyes. The other half just wants to hear him say it himself
“I’ll fuck you the way you deserve. Right here, right now.” Renjun’s voice is too angelic to say such nasty words, but he growls them out like he’s a tainted angel. You’re pressed against the wooden wall of the sauna now, Renjun just a step away. You lean into him slightly and rip the gloves out of his hand to throw them to the side.
“Do it.”
It’s all the permission Renjun needs to feverishly connect his lips to yours.
The action is so sudden, you don’t remember how Renjun got close to you so quickly. Despite his forcefulness before, his lips melt into you like chocolate melting over a fire, so hot and delicious that you just want more. His hands hold the sides of your face, pushing back your hair and his body pushing you back into the wall.
He sucks on your bottom lip, softly biting afterwards and making you let out a whimper, and then a moan when his thigh pushes between your legs and further presses you against the wall. Amidst the kissing, you find the zipper of his expensive jacket, unzip it, and pull the piece of clothing off. Afterwards, you pull his shirt off and break the kiss while you’re at it.
“I’ve been thinking about you in this skirt since….” Renjun hums at the thought, his hand sliding up your bare thighs and under your skirt, then he grips your ass and brings your core down onto his thigh, the friction enough to have you letting out a strangled moan.
“Since the day I first saw you.” He finally whispers and connects your lips once again. His hand on your ass doesn’t move, his other hand is placed on your waist as he helps you ride the rough material of his pants. Renjun can only watch your reactions; the way your head lolls back into the wall and your eyes screw shut, holding onto Renjun’s shoulders tight enough he’s sure there will be marks afterwards.
“Fuck— Renjun, don’t stop, please.” He’s mesmerized, absolutely addicted to how you look and sound right now, and it’s all because of him. The thought spurs him along, he removes your jacket and you blindly help him in removing your top and bra. You must look like a mess right now, especially since you’re coming close to your climax just by Renjun’s touch and his thigh. Not to mention the sweat dripping down both of you, a glistening sheen coating your skin that makes Renjun let out a low growl before he leans down and takes one of your nipples in his mouth.
He sucks and swirls his tongue, and you can’t help but moan his name again, digging your fingers into his blonde hair and tugging. Renjun moves from your chest downward, not letting an inch of your stomach and hips go past him without a kiss and a nibble, leaving you breathing heavily. He makes his way down to his knees and folds your skirt up, glancing at  you from his position.
“You don’t wear anything under here except your panties?” You nod, your head stuttering as Renjun applies pressure with his thumb over your slick hole, a wet spot already there to greet him.
“You’re so fucking dirty, baby.” He groans and leans in to swipe his tongue over your center making you shake as a response. He slides your underwear down and throws it somewhere to the side, catching the sigh of your arousal dripping down your thigh. His intense stare makes you shake him, embarrassment crawling over you at how he’s not reacting.
“Are you shy?” You whine, not really answering his question. “You don’t need to be. You’re beautiful.” The softness from his voice contradicts his more dominating tone from before, but you don’t have time to think about it before he dives in. You sigh in content when the pressure in between your hips caused by Renjun turns into pure pleasure. His tongue laps at your essence and his lips suck on your clit, you can tell he’s trying to find what exactly will make you tick.
When Renjun slides a finger into your hole unexpectedly, you jump and whimper a bit but the feeling of him sliding in and out along with his tongue circling and sucking on your clit makes a knot form in the pit of your stomach, tightening up your muscles and making your eyes roll back.
“Right there. Oh my god, right there…” You keep repeating, praying that Renjun treats you good and let’s you come. He adds another finger and you gasp, starting to move your hips in rhythm to his hand, holding onto his shoulders for more stability. He glances up at you, watching your eyes screw shut and your tits bounce as you use his hand to get yourself off. Renjun hums against you, and you can almost feel the ecstasy of coming undone, until Renjun pulls away. You groan, feeling like crying when your orgasm fades.
“Hey..” You whine, pouting when Renjun stands back up and licks your juices off of his lips. He has some on his chin and you bring your hand up to wipe it away, Renjun stopping your hand and kissing the wetness away, then kissing up your arm and to your shoulder, up your neck and to your ear. He tugs at your earlobe, licking the skin under it and biting some more, his hands sliding up your waist at playing with your nipples, pinching a little to get whimpers out of you and making your hips buck up, ready to continue where Renjun left you at.
That’s when you feel the hardness in his pants; it must be painful. That’s why you understand his next words, whispered into the shell of your ear between kisses: “You’re not coming until I’m in you, got it?”
You nod quickly, attaching your hands to Renjun’s zipper and button, undoing them and sliding down his pants.
“But, you’re gonna need to do something for me…” He says, helping you pull down his boxers, watching his angry, red length swing out. You gasp, feeling a bit bad that you just left Renjun like this to eat you out, but you’re sure you can make up to him now.
“What is it? I’ll do it.” Your hands run over Renjun’s sweaty shoulders, moving away some longer hair in the back of his head that’s sticking against his neck.
“You’re gonna have to yell my name. I need you to let everyone know who’s doing this to you— who’s making you feel good, okay?” Your breath gets caught in your throat as the words tumble out of his lips. He tilts his voice higher at the end of every phrase to make him sound innocent, but you’re not fooled.
“There’s people outside…” You mumble back, sending a glance at the door. You know there are several staff and customers walking along the hallways outside. What will they think if they hear you screaming Renjun’s name? Not to talk about what will happen to your job.
Those thoughts melt away when Renjun’s dick slides between your folds slowly, making you turn your gaze back to him and hold on tight as he lubricates himself over your wetness, holding onto your hips so that you don’t move and take anymore than what he’s giving you.
“That’s exactly why I want you to scream. Can you do that for me?” He asks and you nod frantically, doing almost anything to get his dick inside you. You’re not sure what’s going to happen once you step out of this room, but at least you know Renjun is going to give you the best fuck you’ve had in a while, and you know it’ll be worth it for what’s to come after all this.
“Finally…” You moan when Renjun’s length disappears into you inch by inch, going slow as to not hurt you. He sucks in a breath through his teeth as he bottoms out, picking up your thigh to hang it over his hip and wrapping his other arm around your waist to keep you close. You hold onto him, adjusting as he kisses your lips sweetly and carefully, and waits to move his throbbing cock through your velvety walls.
“Go, Renjun, move….” You whisper, and he looks at you confused.
“What was that? I didn’t hear you.” He asks, cocking his head.
“Please, move.” You say louder, but he shakes his head and purses his lips as if he still can’t understand.
“I said, fuck me, Renjun. Please, can you fuck me already?” You all but scream out, your voice almost cracking at how whiny you sound. No doubt, if someone passed by outside they would’ve heard you. The thought makes you tense up, but it feels so good to be able to yell out what you want.
“Your wish, baby.” Renjun mutters before he starts rocking into you. You both groan at the sensation, Renjun’s hips speeding up as he gains more momentum. His lips don’t leave yours, kissing you into oblivion while his dick stuffs you. He has you against the wall, his hips powering away and you don’t dare to disturb him, realizing he’s burning all of his anger away as well.
“Yes, Renjun, fuck me just like that…'' You moan loudly to spur him on, now not really caring about who’s outside or who hears you, just wanting Renjun to know you love how rough he’s going. He presses you higher up the wall and pulls your legs apart more, hitting a new angle that literally makes you scream out, tears mixing with the sweat on your face as he relentlessly pumps into you.
There are so many things going on at the same time. Your hard nipples and soft breasts rubbing against Renjun’s chest, making goosebumps rise on his arms. Your hot and sweaty bodies are basically sliding against each other. The clapping of his hips against yours no doubt attracts attention from outside along with your screams and Renjun’s grunts continuously get louder as you both get closer to the climax.
“I’m gonna come… Renjun, come in me…” You’re already fucked out, the words barely leaving your lips coherently, but Renjun understands and moves his finger down to find your clit, circling his thumb fast and steady, just like everything else he’s doing.
“C’mon come on my cock, babe. Let it out, I wanna hear it.” And just like that, you unwind and scream his name as your orgasm washes over and takes control, making you claw onto any part of Renjun that you can reach. Renjun feels your walls deliciously convulse around him and with a few more sloppy thrusts, he comes into you and fills you up, staying wrapped up in you as you both calm down.
Renjun presses small kisses wherever he feels like as your breathing settles down, his softness and the caring way he rubs at your sides and hips where he was holding so hard that you’re sure to have bruises makes you smile hazily.
“___… I don’t regret any of this.” He whispers into your skin, leaning back to look at you properly. “Do you?”
“No.” You answer truthfully, making his eyes shine and you both smile dumbly, your sticking bodies relaxing. The happy moment doesn’t last long before there’s a knock on the door to the sauna. You and Renjun stiffen up as you glance at the door, waiting for whoever it is to announce themselves.
“Renjun? Son?” Your heart drops to your stomach and you cover your mouth at the voice of Renjun’s father on the other side of the door, but when you turn to Renjun, he doesn’t seem bothered. He sends a smile at you and moves some hair from your face before answering.
“Occupied, go somewhere else. We’re busy.”
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lovely-angst · 4 years ago
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number ‘x’ fan
a/n: um, this was a good idea in theory until i started writing it and then suddenly i wanted to trash this fic lol
genre: angst to fluff
pairing: hawks x reader
summary: a trip to Hawks’ agency gone wrong when a crazed fan runs their car into a pregnant you and your two young sons
word count: 5k
05.05.21
-
If there was something the nation of Japan adored more than Pro Hero Hawks himself, it was his wife and the little family he had with her. His family was something he always talked about when given any opportunity.
To think it had already been five years since Hawks introduced you to the world still baffles you.
When he had come up to you that one day, bringing up the dreaded question of finally bringing you and the kids into the public and media for all of the world to see—you were very nervous, to say the least.
You knew how terrible the media could be with all of the gossip and drama. You weren’t sure if you could handle all of the attraction so suddenly. But your husband Hawks was always so reassuring and in the most nonpressuring way possible.
“If you’re not ready, that’s totally okay! I just thought it would be more beneficial for us if the whole world knew who you guys are,” he said gently as he brought his gloved hand towards your cheek with the softest smile. “I just want the world to finally know about my beautiful family. I don’t want to keep you guys a secret anymore.”
You couldn’t help but melt into his hand, bringing your own to rub those cute little avian features on his eyes gently. “I know, you sweet bird,” you coo, watching how his lips curve up the slightest. “I just don’t know how this could benefit us.”
“Honey, the world is going to love you. They’re going to love our boys. From the pro heroes to the supportive fans I have, we have, they’ll want to protect you too. Trust me.”
Staring up into those comforting golden eyes, you took a deep breath before nodding. Of course, you’ll trust him.
And soon, the fated day of your “debut” was finally here. In your arms, you held your sweet one year old boy, Yuto, while your three year old, Kazuto, clung onto Hawks’ legs adorably.
Though you were very nervous with all of the photographers and news outlets all around you when you turned to glance over at Hawks and saw that proud and genuine smile on his face, all of your fears washed away.
Thinking back on the memory, you let out a content sigh as a smile grew on your face. Thankfully, those last five years flew by quite smoothly with the occasional rough bumps with his angry fan club, nothing that worried you terribly.
And while life was going great for you and your growing family with Hawks, it was going terrible for a self-proclaimed number one Hawks fan.
Clutching the newspaper tightly, their eyes reread the words on the front page for the hundredth time.
‘Pro Hero Hawks shows his seven-month pregnant wife some PDA!’ with a photo caught by the paparazzi showing the two of you sharing a kiss while holding hands.
The violent grip she held on the paper caused rips before letting out an angry scream, tearing the thin material into thousands of pieces letting it pool around her like snowflakes.
Hearing Hawks’ voice coming through the television, she finally snapped out of her thoughts and tuned in focus again, turning to face the television behind her. Her eyebrow irked in irritation as she watched how he wrapped a hand around her waist lovingly and securely.
“I don’t know what I would do without her,” Hawks beams to the reporter who had asked about you, “I mean, have you seen her? She’s the prettiest lady I have ever laid my eyes on and the most amazing wife and mother to our kids!”
“People say she is blessed to be married to me, but I can say for sure I am extremely blessed to be married to her”
Roughly turning the television off, the fan stormed into her bedroom before slamming the door shut behind her, causing the walls to shake. “How could you do this to me!” she screamed as she ran up to tear at the photos of Hawks she had glued on the walls of her bedroom, causing the covered walls to become bare again. “I thought you loved me! I showed you unconditional love! I’m your biggest fan! Everything was going great until that—that wench showed up!”
Boxes and figurines were tossed around, swung off shelves, quickly turning the room into a mess of Hawks merchandise.
It wasn’t until she finally looked over at her makeshift Hawks shrine that she let out a sigh, a smile growing on her lips. “Hawks, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it,” she cooed, walking up to the Hawks shrine before kneeling down in front of it. Reaching over to brush her finger gently over the photo of the two of them—a photo she managed to obtain at a VIP fan meet.
Pressing onto the photo where Hawks stood, she continued to stare at it lovingly, “I know you love me, Hawks. I’ll make sure that it will be just us again.”
-
“Yuto, Kazuto, hurry up and get dressed so we can visit papa at work,” you say from in the kitchen as you finished preparing lunch for the four of you—five, if you include the baby growing in your belly.
“I can’t find the Endeavor doll papa gave me!” Yuto cries, running into the kitchen with tears. Turning around, you offer the boy a gentle smile before brushing your hand through his soft blonde hair.
“Yuto, we can bring the Endeavor doll another time, okay? What if he gets lost today in papa’s big work building? That would be very sad, wouldn’t it?” You prompt and Yuto looks down before giving you a nod.
“We can find him together when we get back, okay? Right now, papa is waiting for us to come see him and he’s going to show you all of the cool stuff he does! We can wear our Hawks jacket instead to match papa. Doesn’t that sound fun?” Hearing your words, the bright red wings on his back fluff up and flutter in joy before he runs back to his room in joy. “Okay, mama!”
Placing the fried chicken into each container neatly, you covered the lids on them and placed them in the bag nicely before Kazuto walks in and takes the bag, hauling it over his shoulder. “I got it, mom.”
“Oh, honey, it might be heavy,” you try, but Kazuto shakes his head, “Don’t worry, plus your belly might make you tired, so I’ll carry this for you.”
Quick little platters rang in the air before Yuto popped back into the kitchen beside his older brother, “I’m ready, mama!”
You couldn’t help but smile at how cute they were, looking so handsome, just like their dad.
“Okay boys, put your shoes on and let’s head out the door to papa’s agency.”
And it was such a beautiful day for a walk. The sun was out with little to no clouds and there was just the right amount of breeze that helped keep the three of you cool during these summer days.
Even though Hawks’ agency was just a 20-minute walk, he kept insisting on calling you a cab so you wouldn’t have to walk so far with the boys while pregnant. Of course, you declined, saying how it would be healthy for you and the baby to get fresh air and to walk around—to which he finally and hesitantly agreed on before adding a “call me when you get here.”
It was a normal occurrence getting greeted by Hawks fans on your outings like today. Most of them along the lines of, “(Name)-san! You look great today!” or “Love to see you and the boys healthy!” and not to mention, “I love you guys!”
It was sweet seeing supportive fans that your hard-working husband has.
“Ah, look! There is papa’s agency!” you say, pointing to the large and tall building, watching how your sons’ eyes lit up in awe. “Wow!” Yuto exclaims, turning over to you while fluttering his wings. “Papa works there?” 
“Yep! Let’s go and give him a surprise!” 
Walking over to the crosswalk just in front of the agency, you held Yuto’s hand in yours as the three of you waited for the signal to change to allow you to cross the road. “The roads are empty today, but we still need to watch for cars,” you point out to your boys as they began to look both ways. 
Everyone was busy at work, so no one was on the roads besides some parked cars. The crosswalk signal changed and played a tune while you and the boys began to cross the street towards Hawks’ agency to meet up with your dear husband. 
The sound of squealing tires from beside you had caught your attention and once you turned your head, it was already too late to dodge the oncoming vehicle speeding towards you and the boys. 
Gasping, you tried your best to push your boys out of the way as much as you could, but it wasn’t enough. 
The corner of the car was still able to hit Yuto and Kazuto, sending them crashing a few feet away from you. 
Unfortunately for you, the vehicle slammed head onto you. Rolling onto the hood, your head crashed into the windshield, smashing it and rolling off. A small pool of blood forming underneath your head as the car sped off. 
Your head rang as your vision slowed significantly. Turning your head, you see your boys on the ground more than an arms length away from you as they struggled to get up. 
Placing a shaky hand on your belly, you just hoped and prayed your baby was safe from the impact, but it wasn’t looking too good for you, you noted. 
It was surprising to you all the thoughts and information were able to process through your head after such an event. 
A crowd quickly formed around you and the boys as the voices began fading into the background as your conscious state was beginning to fade.
“My boys...” you say weakly to the stranger, eyes fluttering shut as your attempts to stay awake failed. “Ma’am! Keep your eyes open! Someone call for help!” 
“Get H-Hawks,” you tried once more before you succumbed to the drowsiness. Suddenly, it clicked in someone’s mind. “That’s Hawks’ wife and kids! His agency is just down the road! Someone get him!”
Kazuto slowly sat up from the rough fall, looking down at himself to spot any injuries. Spreading his wings, they seemed to be in mint condition, although his hip throbbed and his leg was slightly bruising from the impact. It wasn’t until he heard Yuto sobbing that he turned to check on his younger brother.
Yuto was beside him, face scrunched up, shaking and sobbing as his eyes met those of his brothers. “I think my wing is broken,” Yuto informed, turning to give his older brother a glance of his droopy wing. 
And before Kazuto could turn to check on you, a stranger stepped in his view, blocking him from the gruesome scene where his mother lay. “Hey there, friends, it looks like you both got a little bit hurt. The ambulance is on it’s way to take you and your mom to the hospital, so don’t worry. I’ll sit here with you guys and keep you safe, okay?” 
The two boys could only nod.
-
Hawks spun around in his swivel chair eagerly as he waited for his wife and kids to arrive. Sighing, he took out his phone for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes, glancing at the last text message you sent. 
From: wifey <3
‘Be there in five minutes! see you soon papa bird! <3’ 
But it had already been half an hour since your text. He knew that sometimes the boys took a little bit longer to get out of the house, but this was a bit off. Maybe he was just being a little impatient.
Suddenly a knock came at the door and he immediately got up to answer it, wings fluttering with excitement. But when he opened the door to find his assistant looking all frazzled, he raised a brow. “What’s up?” 
“Hawks, your family,” they stammered, out of breath from running around the large building. “They’ve been in a bad accident in front of the agency. A car-”
Before they could even finish, Hawks had spun around and jumped through a large open window from his office before flying down towards where they had mentioned. 
His eyes darted around quickly before catching sight of a large crowd. Sending his feathers down, his heart froze when he recognized you and his boys down there.
From the height he was at, he could already tell it wasn’t looking good. He could spot his boys’ wings from here, thankfully, shooting down towards them. 
He just wanted to see his wife and kids and they end up getting hit by some low life?
Hawks landed quickly at the scene before rushing over towards his boys, who immediately noticed their father’s large wings. “Dad!” 
Falling onto his knees, his hands roamed around their smaller bodies, checking for injuries before bringing them both in for a hug, relieved to see them alive and breathing. “Are you two okay?” Where does it hurt?” 
“My body hurts a bit and Yuto’s wing might be broken,” Kazuto informed before Hawks immediately checked Yuto’s wing before he let out a sigh, “Just a sprain. Don’t worry, birdie.” he replies, pressing a kiss to his youngest’s head. 
“Stay here, I’m going to go check on mom. These nice people will help you two, okay? I’m here now, don’t worry.” Hawks said firmly to the boys, giving them one last embrace before the stranger before stepped back in to stay with the boys as Hawks ran over to find you. 
Once his eyes spotted you, he felt like his heart had stopped and died there and then. 
To put it plainly, you looked dead—blood soaked clothes, unconscious and limp on the ground as the paramedics prepared the stretcher for you.
“(Name)!” Hawks called out, running to your body only to be stopped by a paramedic. “I’m sorry Hawks, but it’s best if you leave the rest to us.” 
“W-where is she going?” Hawks asked as he watched them gently place your injured body onto the stretcher, following beside them and peeking at you the best he could. “We’re going to transport her to the nearest hospital. We have to check and make sure we don’t lose the baby. We don’t have time for any more questions,” and with that, they carefully lifted you into the ambulance and drove off, leaving him there with a million unanswered questions. 
He wished he could be by your side, but right now, his boys needed him.
It didn’t take Hawks long to arrive at the hospital with Yuto and Kazuto. Reaching the emergency desk, Hawks immediately asked for you before receiving an answer that stopped his already shaking heart.
“There has been complications with her pregnancy, so they have to conduct an emergency C-section to try and save the baby,” they inform, Hawks’ blood turning ice cold.
“C-Section? But she’s only seven months along! The baby isn’t ready!” He cried, wings even more frazzled than before. “I understand your concern. That is why we will do our best to make sure the baby is as healthy as possible.”
Hawks could only stare in shock before turning to his two young boys, who looked up at him worried.
“Is mama going to be okay?” Yuto asked, his wing still drooping behind him. Hawks offered a small but weak smile, “the doctors are doing their best to make mama feel better. While they help mama, we need to get you two checked to make sure you’re doing okay,” Hawks continued, lifting Yuto into his arms.
“How’s it going, Kazuto? Does your leg hurt too much?” Kazuto shakes his head, “It hurts, but I can still walk slowly.” Hawks nods before reaching over to push his son’s hair back as the three walk to get the boys checked on.
-
“Hawks?” hear a soft female voice, Hawks quickly turned to see Fuyumi walking towards them with a small smile. Hawks quickly stands to greet the friendly face, “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Fuyumi.”
“Don’t worry about it, dad seemed worried when he told me about your situation. Anything to help a friend, right?” she says and Hawks couldn’t help but give her a relieved smile. 
“Well, these are my boys. Kazuto is my oldest and Yuto is youngest. Well, with our new baby, Miyako will be the youngest,” Hawks explains as the two boys stand beside him, looking up at Fuyumi.
“Hi,” she starts, bending down towards their level, “My name is Fuyumi, I’m going to take care of you while your mama is getting better, okay?” 
Yuto clings onto Hawks’ legs, “I don’t want to go.”
“You know, my dad is the number one hero, Endeavor. He’s kind of scary, but I’m sure he’ll teach you a thing or two about being a hero.” That caught the boys’ attention, their wings raising up. 
“Your papa is the number one hero? My papa is the number two,” Yuto says and Fuyumi smiles at him. “That’s cool, huh? Your papa and my papa must be great friends.” Yuto couldn’t help but give her a cheeky smile, scrunching up his nose. 
“Well, let’s say goodbye to your papa and let’s go to my house and we can eat, okay?” Gently taking their hands, Fuyumi brought them over to her side before the two boys wave goodbye to Hawks. 
“Take care of mama, okay?” Yuto says as Hawks gives him a wink and a thumbs up. “I’ll tell her about how cool you two were being such big boys and not even crying.” 
Hawks stepped closer towards Fuyumi, cupping his hand around his mouth, “Yuto’s wing has a sprain, so make sure he doesn’t use it and doesn’t sleep on it if he can help it. Kazuto’s left hip and leg is in bad shape and is pretty bruised, so please keep some ice on it.” 
Pulling away, Fuyumi gives him a determined nod. “Thanks, see you in a few days.” and with that, she left the hospital with Yuto and Kazuto in hand. 
Letting out a sigh, Hawks carried on over towards the waiting area while he waited for your operation to finish. It had been only an hour since he had gotten here, but it felt like forever while he waited for some sort of news. 
After some time, he finally received news, great news. 
His daughter Miyako had been born via c-section and had no underlying health issues. Unfortunately, because she was born premature, she would need to be monitored at the hospital until she was strong enough without the help of the equipment to finally go home. 
That was fine by Hawks, of course, anything to help his baby girl. 
Walking down the quiet halls of the hospital room, Hawks nervously made his way into the NICU, where his baby girl, Miyako, would be staying for some time. 
“I’m here to see Miyako, I’m the dad,” he states before a nurse leads him over to her quiet room filled with the background noises of the equipment keeping her alive and healthy. 
Gently walking over, Hawks peeked over where the little girl was being incubated, his heart swelling at the sight of his third child and first girl. 
“Can I touch her?” Hawks asked the nurse behind him gently and nervously, seeing that she was tiny and barely over five pounds. “Of course, just wash your hands with soap.”
Doing just that, he made sure to take his time with cleaning his hands and forearms before drying them and making his way back to Miyako. 
Sticking his arms into the small openings, Hawks brushed the back of his fingers across her small yet still chubby cheeks. A smile blossomed onto his lips when she stretched out from his touch and that’s when he finally noticed the little wings perched on her back.
“You have wings, baby girl,” Hawks commented as his fingers ran across her fuzzy grey wings. “That makes three of us, huh?” 
He spent whatever time he could with her talking about himself, her brothers and her amazing mother before the nurse politely told him to leave so that Miyako could rest some more.
With all the terrible things that had happened, Miyako finally arriving was a good that broke the hardship. 
Before he could visit your room, he was stopped in the halls by a detective who flashed him his badge, “we found the culprit behind this attack.” Hawks frowned at the detective, “Let’s go to a more private setting,” he replied as the two made their way into a private room. 
“What did you find?” Hawks questioned, mirroring the detective who pulled out a chair to sit in. “An obsessed fan of yours,” he simply stated, tossing out a photo towards the winged man, “found this in the vehicle she was driving when she hit your wife and kids,” I assume you recognize the girl?” 
Staring at the photo in his hand, Hawks let out a groan as he slumped back on his chair, “I should’ve never suggested bringing (Name) and the kids out into the public,” Hawks sighed.
“This would have never happened.”
-
“Keigo?” 
“What is it, sweetheart?” he hums, fixing the vase full of your favorite flowers before walking over to you and sitting in the chair that sat beside your hospital bed. 
“How are the boys doing?” you asked, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand gently when he slipped his hand into yours. 
It had been a day since you woke up, but three days since you had been admitted to the hospital, Hawks being one of the only people you had seen, including the doctors and your bedside nurses. 
“Well, they miss you that’s for sure,” he smiles and you offer one back. “Are they injured? I wasn’t able to check up on them before I—well, you know,” you try, but Hawks shifts your thoughts away when he leans over to press a kiss to your forehead.
“Yuto just has a sprained wing and Kazuto’s a little bruised, but they’re being cared at, at the number one’s house,” your eyes widened, “Endeavor’s?” 
“Well, technically, Fuyumi is watching over them,” Hawks continues and you relax once again with a smile, “Fuyumi has always been good with kids. They must be having a good time with her.” 
“And Miyako? How is she?”
“She’s cute and small and has these cute grey fuzzy wings on her back,” Hawks says with a small giggle, “her nurse says she’s doing just fine and should be able to go home in a few weeks. They still want her to cook a bit in the incubator.” 
You smile at him before closing your eyes and resting back on your pillow with a relieved sigh, “I’m glad that they’re all okay. I miss them so much.”
Hawks brings a hand to your cheek and you open your eyes to look up at him, nuzzling into his warm and large palm, “What’s wrong, honey?” 
“I just feel like this is all my fault,” he starts, bringing his hand back as his gaze drops down to his lap, “I should’ve never asked to bring you and the boys out into the public. It was selfish of me, you guys would’ve been safer and this would’ve never happened.” 
“Keigo, it’s not your fault,” you say, placing a hand on his cheek, but your movement was restricted due to the IV needle in your arm. Hawks brings your hand down to your lap, opting to hold it in his larger ones instead. 
“We didn’t know this would’ve happened, plus it was just a crazy fan! Instead of you being mad, I should be mad because someone thinks they love you more than how much I love you!” you exclaim and Hawks couldn’t help the small smile on his lips. 
“Trust in yourself,” motioning him closer, you pressing a kiss onto his lips before a teasing smile formed on your lips “I love you more than you can ever imagine, you dumb bird.” 
And Hawks tucked your words into his heart and decided to trust himself on his next bizarre idea—visiting that crazy fan of his in prison.
Sitting in the cool, metal chair, Hawks waited patiently in front of the barrier for the guards to bring out his so called, number one fan—the person who tried to take out his whole family. 
It wasn’t until she came into view and noticed him that her eyes seemed to light up in shock and joy. Throwing herself on the chair, she grabbed the phone as fast as she could, bringing it up to her ear. Hawks doing the same.
“H-Hawks? It’s really you! You came! You really came to see me!” she cried, and Hawks did not give her a spec of emotion. 
“I’m only here to tell you a few things,” he started and she nodded excitedly. “You are a fan of mine and I adore and cherish my fans,” Hawks states, her cheeks turning rosy at his words. “I would expect you to do something as simple as respect me as a person, as a pro hero, and to respect my family—my wife and my kids.”
“I only did what I did because I love you!” she shot back and Hawks glared her down with his sharp eyes, “and because of that, I’m disappointing that you even have the nerve to call yourself my fan. I’ve blacklisted you from attending any of my fan meets or events.”
Her eyes widened before she began to shake her head in disbelief, “No, no, no...You don’t mean that! Hawks no!”
“But I doubt you’d be leaving prison anytime soon for attempted murder on three cases,” He shoots back, her sobs and wails audible through the thick barrier between them.
“But I love you!” she cries desperately, “don’t do this!”
Hanging up the phone, Hawks turned around as the wails from the unfortunate girl filled the air behind him, leaving him feeling lighter than ever.
And it seemed as if things continued to get better from thereon. 
You sat in your hospital bed excited yet nervously as the nurse carefully transported Miyako into your arms for the first time. As the infant shifted around in discomfort, you gently cooed at her, Miyako recognizing your voice. 
“Miyako, it’s mama. I’m sorry it took us so long to finally meet,” you say with a large smile as she turned to face you—her poofy and fuzzy wings resting over your arms warmly.
Hawks watched in adoration of the sight of his two favorite girls finally together in each other’s arms. Miyako no longer needed any medical assistance and you, finally bandaged and needle free. 
“Miyako’s been doing perfectly fine without any of the medical equipment and should be able to go home in the next few days,” your nurse says and your head shoots over towards Hawks’ excitedly. 
“Honey, honey,” you chirp, “We can finally go home in a few days!”
Hawks couldn’t help the chuckle and smile that formed on his lips, especially from how excited you were. You had been in this hospital for nearly a month now and eager to see your boys and to finally be home. 
Leaning over, Hawks pressed a warm kiss onto your lips before running his finger over Miyako’s plump cheeks. 
“I can’t wait to have you home and in my arms again.” 
And did that day finally come. 
You and Hawks made your way around the hospital with Miyako sound asleep in a stroller, thanking all the doctors and nurses for their help. 
And to your surprise, Kazuto, Yuto and Fuyumi were at the main doors waiting for the three of you. 
“Mama!” they cried before taking off towards you. Yuto wrapped his small arms around your legs as Kazuto, who was just a bit taller, wrapped his arms around your waist gently, pressing his face into your side. 
“My boys, I missed you both so much,” you cried, pressing kisses all over their faces, seeing them light up with joy after being separated for so long. 
“Would you like to see your little sister?” You ask with a curious smile, watching them suddenly turn timid, but slowly, they made their way to the stroller and found a little baby girl sleeping comfortably.
“She’s so small,” Kazuto notes, glancing back up at you with his proud big brother smile. “Hi, Miyako. You’re so cute,” Yuto giggles, watching her stir.
You couldn’t help but lean into Hawks at the sight. Everything was right. Even when you finally had the energy to check your phone, you were surprised to see how all the support from friends, family, and fans alike.
“The agency called and said we have like a million gifts from the fans to pick up. A lot of them are ‘get well’ gifts for you and the boys and some are baby gifts for Miya,” Hawks states with a smile and you tilt your head at him teasingly. 
“Miya? You already gave her a nickname?” you tease and he couldn’t help but look away with a blush which made you laugh. “Well, Miya is going to have the best papa bird and brother birds in the world.” 
But the feeling of being at home, away from the world and just with your family topped everything else. 
You were in Hawks’ arms, resting comfortably and watching as your two young boys watched Miyako in awe, commenting about how cute she was or how cute her small grey wings were every minute. 
“Keigo, I’m so happy,” you state, leaning into his body more as you let out a content sigh. “Thank you for everything,” glancing up, his gold eyes were already on you before the two of you connected with a kiss.
“I should be saying that to you, dove. You’ve given me a whole family to love.”
And for all the bad that had happened, being able to rest in the love of your life’s arms with your newly expanded family, seemed to wash all of that away.
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nctsworld · 4 years ago
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reigniting
✩ mark x reader | dance au | enemies to lovers | car s*x | smut | fluff | 1.6k
SUMMARY ⇾ your hate for your dance captain (and ex-best friend) melts and evolves into something more for the night. WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ smut (near the end), car s*x, swearing, angst in backstory RATING ⇾ mature FOR ⇾ @markleesflathead​ 
AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ yes i’m bitter that most of my fics in ask form don’t show up in tag so i might have to post them as individual fics hhh || @markleesflathead​ idk how this ended up into car s*x but i’m sorry if it isn’t what you really expected slkfmd also i’m v flattered to be one of your fave writers *_* thanks for the bday wishes!!
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“I missed this.”
Mark suddenly says into the air after catching his breath from all the laughing he just did. With the hand that’s been resting on the steering wheel since he parked the car fifteen minutes ago, he swipes his thumb against it.
Your laughter subsides too, turning your head in the passenger seat to get a good look at him.
The closest street lamp isn’t near enough to cast a light to see all his features clearly, but you don’t need much lighting to see the waver behind his bespectacled face, nor the way his Adam’s apple bobs.
“I missed you,” he whispers softly, then matches your eyes with a tilt of his head.
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The beginning was simple. You and Mark, best friends since middle school, about to attend the same university and were going to do everything together, including extracurriculars.
Which included the university’s main competitive hip-hop dance team, since both of you were on your high school’s too.
From what you heard from upperclassmen, every year, the team offered at least five spots open. Of course, Mark and you were confident in yourselves and each other to make the team.
But during your first year, only one spot was available on the team.
The straining of your friendship began to slowly occur, since you saw less of each other in order to train more individually for the auditions.
And when the auditions happened, there was a new tension between Mark and you. Still friends, but competitiveness was a prevalent wall between you two.
The wall grew larger, tangled with vines of jealousy and bitterness, when Mark received the spot, not you.
Both parties tried hard to keep the friendship afloat, but it eventually came crashing down.
“You’re just fucking jealous that I got in and you didn’t.”
“Yeah,” you said. “and I should be, because I’m the better dancer.”
“As if.” he scoffed. He spat out the next words venomously—
“If you were better they would’ve chose you, but you’ve just never been as good of a dancer as me.”
That was the last time you spoke to Mark... for a while, at least.  
When second year came by, you decided to prove him wrong and obtain a spot on the team. Successfully, you did, but partway through the term, the captain dropped out and, to your dismay, Mark was given captaincy.
Fast-forward to today, Mark constantly gave you shit during practices and you knew it was personal.
Sure, you could’ve quit, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. However, you always did wonder why he didn’t decide to kick you off the team when he had the power to do so.
Following one practice, Mark ordered you to come by the studio on a separate night for a talk. He claimed it to be extra training, but you were mentally prepared for him to finally remove you from the team.
However, you were wrong and the unexpected happened—the wall between you two began to crumble. The hostile professionalism during the extra session grew into an area of familiarity, remnants of a lost friendship. After the session, Mark swallowed his pride and apologized about what he said back then, even offering to take you out to dinner.
During the meal, both of you caught each other up on the last year or so, and at the end of the night, Mark drove you home.
Laughing, smiling, and talking with you like the last couple of years were a nightmare faded into nothingness.
And you didn’t mind it, because you missed him too.
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But instead of telling him that, you nibble on your bottom lip and rock your head forward with a small smile.
Continuing the conversation from where you left off, after Mark agreed to stop giving you such a hard time during practice, you say, “Can I ask you to stop doing one more thing during practice?”
“What’s up?”
“Please, for the love of God,” you say with your hands clasped in a prayer. “Stop rolling your shirt sleeves up, it’s terribly distracting.”
A hearty chuckle escapes from Mark, leaning his head back into the headrest. “Why is it distracting?”
“You know why!” you exclaim, beaming. “I know you do it on purpose!”
He cocks an eyebrow playfully. “And why would I do that?”
Rolling your eyes, you reply, "Because I know the oh-so humble Mark Lee still loves it when he gets attention."
The driver runs his tongue over the bottom of his teeth in a smirk, hand still on the steering wheel.
"And what about you?” he retorts. “You must still have a thing for arms if you think it's distracting."
You gasp inaudibly, unsure of how he could still remember that tidbit after all these years, and you twist your upper body to inch near him, glaring at him accusingly. "Is that why you do it?"
"Maybe, maybe not..." he shrugs nonchalantly. Leaning closer to you, parroting your stance, he adds in a teasing whisper along with a squint of his eyes.
"You'll never know."
There’s a passing beat as your eyes lock, one that carries the weight of the years of loving each other as friends, hating each other as enemies, working together as dancers, and everything in between.
A moment of connection that represents what everything has been working towards to for a long time, even if you never thought you’d have the chance to ever have Mark in your life again.
His look falters for a millisecond, flicking to your lips, then straight back to your eyes as if he shouldn’t have done that.
The corner of your mouth lifts slightly.
"Are you going to kiss me, Mark,” you whisper daringly. “or are you going to keep staring?"
You’re awfully aware of both of your breathing. Yours, heavy and wanting. His, light and barely existent.
"How do you know I wanna kiss you?" he croaks, a small crack in his voice underlying his question.
Because maybe a little part of you always wondered what it’d be like for Mark Lee to want to kiss you since you were kids—for him to send you that anxious starry-eyed yearning that could send your heart into cardiac arrest.
And now, from first-hand experience, you know it really does.  
You hold your breath and question back—
"Am I wrong?”
The tension in the air snaps. He’s fast to cup your cheeks and crash his mouth into yours. Soft lips move in tandem with yours as you rest your hands on his shoulders, lightly tugging at his body.
The first, tender kiss is quickly thrown aside, along with your shirts. The desire escalates immensely and you’re suddenly straddling him in the driver’s seat, now pushed back to give extra room for both individuals.
"Should we slow down?" you ask offhandedly at one point while Mark’s mouth leaves a hot trail down the side of your neck. At the same time, his fingers glide and grip onto your bare waist, making their way to grasp your breasts.
Mark jerks away from your neck and carefully caresses the back of your head. "Do you want to?"
"Mm-mm,” you hurriedly shake your head and drag him into another strong kiss.
The exciting rush continues to run through both bodies present. When you return to the passenger seat momentarily to rid of your pants, Mark shimmies his bottoms and briefs down to his ankles and pulls a condom from his glove compartment.
“How often do you have car sex?” you joke, straddling him once again after he wraps himself.
In his reclined position, Mark looks up and scans your body quickly, both indulging in your natural beauty and in disbelief that you are here with him right now, after all these years.
“Hey, a guy’s gotta be safe—fuck, God.”
All quips and logic are thrown out the window when you sit on his length.
You have one hand pressed against his defined stomach, the other on the car ceiling. Bouncing with no end in sight, you allow the pleasure to enrapture your senses. Muffled whimpers reverberate against the inner side of your wrist as you feel him deeply with every movement.
On the other hand, Mark tries his best to keep his focus on you, but the intensity breaks him down. He groans in pace with your moving body, and he tightens his hold on your waist.
“Mark—” you cry. You rip your hand from the car roof and, without thought, frantically push it against the driver’s window, smudging the frost that all your collective breathing conjured up. You’re surprisingly already coming undone, and so is your lover beneath you.
“I’m close,” he pants thickly. His hazy gaze attempts to meet your half-lidded eyes, but you’re losing control. All you can do is barely nod and as you’re about to bounce more vigorously, Mark releases your waist and raises himself upward, clutching your back and neck to lock lips fiercely with yours.
You barely can thrust against him, but you don’t need to at this point, because the kiss is simply enough to draw out his climax.
You’re pulled back to reality after a few moments, panting with your foreheads tipped against one another.
“And to counter your question from before,” Mark grins, still breathing heavily. “I’ll only stop rolling my sleeves up during practice if you stop tying your shirt up to show off your waist.”
You try to stifle a smirk, but it can’t be helped. You reply to him with a flutter of the tip of your nose against his.
“No deal, captain.”
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nctsworld’s birthday week celebration!
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leviskitten · 4 years ago
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hello, could you make a jotaro alphabet nsfw hc, please?
𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕 ♡
Jotaro Kujo x reader(gn!)
Warnings: general NSFW themes,
A/n: hiya! Of course I can, hope you enjoy!
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♡彡 A = Aftercare : What are they like after sex?
• Naturally, he’s gonna soften down after y’all finish. He’s aware of his size *ahem* and that he can be a little too harsh sometimes without realizing, so he’s gonna be making sure you’re alright and stuff, running you a warm bath and making you drink water cuz yknow, you gotta stay hydrated. (He might even carry you bridal style to the bathtub and wash your hair, but you didn’t hear that from me oop)
♡彡 B = Body : What’s their favorite body part of theirs? And yours?
• He probably doesn’t even have a favorite body part of neither his or your body, because he really couldn’t care less about that (he’s def a personality>looks kinda guy and you cannot tell me otherwise). However he secretly enjoys when you hold onto his arm, whether it is when you’re outside walking or when you need the ~support~ because he’s just pounding into you that hard. So I guess we’re gonna go with his arms for this one.
♡彡 C = Cum : Anything to do with cum basically.
• Homeboy has some thick white cum, I just know it. Another massive load fella, however he can (or prefers rather) only cum once.
Don’t get me wrong, he will make you cum multiple times if you want, but he’s fine with one thanks. Also, he probably isn’t that much into messy sloppy sex, so he cums either inside you or in your mouth, nowhere else (there are some exceptions to this but they’re oddly specific and rare so).
♡彡 D = Dirty Secret : Share a dirty secret of theirs.
• If he knows he’s gonna go on a long trip because of his job, he’s going to ~borrow some of your panties to masturbate with.
He usually borrows two, one that has your scent all over it, and another one to wrap around his cock as he jerks off. Sometimes (if you guys happen to be on a call), he might forget to pull it away before he cums, which ends up putting him in a bad mood because now he has to wash it and it won’t smell like you anymore :(
♡彡 E = Experience : How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?
• He’s not very experienced to be honest, I feel like he may had had some hookups here and there but they were probably kinda shitty and awkward. So you’re going to have to guide him a little bit the first couple of times, good thing he’s a quick learner lol.
♡彡 F = Favorite Position : Self explanatory
• Boring man probably doesn’t have one istg 🙄🙄
Jk he isn’t boring, but yeah he probably doesn’t have one, as long as he can get a good look of your face while you’re at it it’s fine with him.
♡彡 G = Goofy : How serious are they during the moment? Do they like to joke around?
• He literally looks like this 😐🧍like 98% of the time, do you really think he’s gonna start acting up now?????
If you laugh at something doing the deed with him he’s gonna look at you dead in the eyes until you stop laughing so he can continue, and it’s kinda scary ngl (or even more funny depending on the situation).
♡彡 H = Hair : How well groomed are they? Does the carpet matches the drapes?
• I kinda headcannon that he’s more on the thick hairy side, however he always trims himself down there, he doesn’t like to look unkept in some way (or at least that’s what he thinks idk). And yeah of course it matches, actually I feel like it’ll be curlier than his actual hair (but you’ll probably never get to see that lol).
♡彡 I = Intimacy : How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.
• His love language is acts of service, that’s literally canon. So he probably won’t be too romantic or intimate per se, but he will definitely make sure you’re having the time of you life when you’re with him. He might even care more about getting you off rather than himself.
♡彡 J = Jack off : Masturbation headcannon.
• I feel like he probably didn’t really masturbate that often until you guys got together. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy the sex, he does, a lot. Actually, I feel like his sex drive might have increased after the first couple of rounds of actually enjoyable sex with you. However, he probably has to go on trips a lot because of his job, and that’s where he finds himself missing you in many ways, including in bed.
♡彡 K = Kink : One or more of their kink.
• Surprisingly enough, he isn’t that kinky, but there are a couple of things that he does enjoy, like:
— praise (both ways), scratching and biting (receiving), edging (both ways), and he probably has a mild size and breeding kink. Oh, and he also kinda likes when you suck on his fingers.
♡彡 L = Location : Favorite place to do it.
• The bedroom. Easy, comfortable and private, pretty much perfect in his opinion.
♡彡 M = Motivation : What turns them on/keep them going?
• Your praise, and when he can tell that you’re enjoying yourself.
He has sub tendencies (*ahem* might actually sub if asked nicely) so tell him that he’s doing so well or that he’s making you feel so good and he might cum right there and then.
♡彡 N = No : Something that they wouldn’t do/turn off’s
• Anything public, extreme degradation and extreme impact play or something like that.
I don’t think I really have to go in depth as in to why not, but let’s just say that he’s a reserved guy who’s very aware of his size and strength and how mean he can get if he wants to.
♡彡 O = Oral : Preference on giving/receiving, skill, etc.
• Being completely honest, he might prefer receiving a little more, but he also loves getting you off multiple times only with his mouth so...
He wasn’t very skilled tbh (he was pretty bad actually let’s be real here), but with some practice and your guidance he got pretty damn good ngl. You trained him well >:)
♡彡 P = Pace : Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc
• Fast and rough by nature baby.
However he will slow down if asked, and during the first few times.
♡彡 Q = Quickie : Their opinion on quickies, how often, etc.
• Not the biggest fan really, but still enjoys a casual quick blowjob/handjob every once in a while.
♡彡 R = Risk : Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? Etc.
• If you happen to have a kink that he either never heard about before, or didn’t really pay attention to, than he might be more open to experiment it with you and indulge you in it. However if they’re way too extreme he might hesitate and hold back a bit. He enjoys a couple of risks, as long as it’s between his and your boundaries.
♡彡 S = Stamina : How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?
• Are you kidding he can almost literally go on forever if you wanted to. He lasts pretty long actually, he has good self control after all ;)
♡彡 T = Toys : Do they own toys? Do they use them? On themselves or his partner?
• Probably wouldn’t really think about buying some unless you bring it up. You guys probably own a couple of basics (bullet vibrators and maybe a dildo), so he can use them on you. Wouldn’t mind if you use them on him when he subs tho.
♡彡 U = Unfair : How much do they like to tease?
• He doesn’t tease often because it’s not really his thing, HOWEVER, when he does tease... let’s just say that you’re in for a ride.
His way of teasing it’s almost torture tbh, and it’s mainly touches, or some warning of what he’ll do to you if you’re the one teasing too much. He mainly does it to stop you from teasing him, but this doesn’t mean that you won’t feel a hand going up your thighs randomly every once in a while.
♡彡 V = Volume : How loud are they? What sounds do they make? Etc.
• He isn’t really that loud, and he doesn’t make much sound sadly. It’s mainly deep grunts and gasps, might moan when he cums after a while.
♡彡 W = Wild card : A random headcannon for the character.
• He only subs when he’s feeling particularly vulnerable, and subconsciously needs for someone to take care of him. Or if he knows that that’s what you like and he wants to make you happy lol.
♡彡 X = X-Ray : Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes
• He’s a proud member of the thicc cock gang and you cannot tell me otherwise.
No but fr, he’s t h i c k, barely above average length, but thick. I feel like it might be a little darker than the rest of his skin, and the tip gets pretty red easily. Pretty veiny too, and he’s uncut.
♡彡 Y = Yearning : How high it their sex drive?
• It wasn’t too high before, but it kinda is now. He kinda became addicted to how you feel around him ngl, and also he likes how it helps him relax~
♡彡 Z = Zzz : How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards.
• He gets less tense after it for sure, but he doesn’t really get sleepy. He can do it and than carry on with his day (after making sure you’re alright of course) if needed, or he can also let you cuddle against him and get some rest if he wanted to.
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pascalpanic · 4 years ago
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I’ve been feeling it for Javi lately because I just started narcos and safe to say I’m obsessed. I was thinking about how sometimes he might not be the best at communicating when he’s had a bad day or needs something from his partner but imagine him coming home after a long week and being surprised by his girl welcoming him home in a full on matching lingerie set like Ouf. He would be so feral but also so happy that he finally has someone who just knows him enough to know he needs a lil loving
Angel (Javier Peña x f!Reader)
Summary: ^^^
Warnings: lots of sexual shit, pwp essentially, lingerie, oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering, unprotected P in V sex (pls wrap it before you tap it), squirting, cum-eating, spanking/a single slap to the thigh, dom/sub elements
W/C: 2k
A/N: I’m trying to clear out my inbox! if you have a request it’s coming! anyway good morning have some smut.
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“Welcome home, baby,” you coo as the lock clicks open and Javier walks into the apartment. There’s a thud as he drops his briefcase, and a strangled noise as he looks up and spots you, perched on the arm of the sofa.
You’re wearing a creamy white lingerie set, and Javier thinks he’s going to die. Long white stockings cover your legs, held up by a garter belt encircling your waist. You wear lacy white crotchless panties, and your legs are spread open to showcase the fact. Your breasts are held up by a tight bustier, with sheer cups to allow him to see how your nipples have peaked. There’s even a matching white choker around your neck, lacy and delicate. The bustier has straps across your chest, with a ring in the middle- the whole thing has a very bondage-esque vibe, and it sends all of the blood in the DEA agent’s body to his painfully hard dick.
Javier nearly quakes when he sees the sight in front of him. It’s been a long week, filled with seemingly endless hours at the office, coming home for a few hours of sleep and a shower. He’d been at Steve’s throat, but when the office got sent home early on this Friday night, he took the first chance he could to get out.
You’ve noticed. How can you not? Javi’s never around, and when he is, he’s frustrated. What better way to relax him than with his favorite vice, your body?
From where you sit, you beckon Javier over with a single finger. He gulps and you can already see his pants tenting at the sight of you. The white is stunning, making him fall to his knees in front of you. It makes you look so innocent, so pure, and Javier thinks of all the nasty things you’ve done to each other; you’re far from innocent now. “Baby girl,” Javier whispers reverently, his hands sliding up your stocking-covered legs.
“You like it?” You ask and arch your back a little, breasts sticking out further, legs spread wider. “It’s all for you, Javi,” you murmur, slipping your fingers into his hair. “Know you had a tough week. You didn’t tell me, but I knew.”
He nods and rests his head against your knee. “The hardest I’ve ever had. So fuckin’ close to getting Quica, and yet-“
“Don’t start talking shop,” you whisper to him, massaging his scalp. “It’s the weekend, baby. No work until Monday.” Your foot traces up and down his clothed side. “I got all this for you,” you murmur to him and take his hand, tracing it up to cup your breast, moaning softly as you make him roll his thumb across your nipple.
“Look so fuckin’ pretty, baby,” Javier groans as he paws at the skin through the lace, feeling the delicate nub against his fingertips. “Like an angel.” His Texan accent comes out when he’s tired or turned on, and it’s hard to tell at first which one.
You know which one it is when his other hand traces across the lace panties, his fingers running over skin where the panties are slit. “Javi,” you whimper as he finds the dripping wetness of your core. “Please, baby. You wanna use me? Go right ahead.”
Grunting, Javier stands. He pulls his hands away from you completely, making you groan, but then he picks you up bridal style and carries you to the bedroom. He tosses you on the bed, making you squeal, and gets to work undressing himself. He mutters in frustration as he has to go through every little button.
Moments later, he’s completely nude, his rock-hard length evident. “Mm, dulzura,” he murmurs as he kneels on the edge of the bed and pulls you to it.
“Baby,” you whine as he spreads your legs, but he doesn’t go for your aching slit quite yet. Javier’s lips find the edge of your stockings and press kisses there, then he traces along the edges with his tongue. The feeling is overwhelmingly arousing, feeling Javier’s hot mouth through the holes of the lace. He finishes one leg and moves to the other, making you pout. “Please, Javi. Don’t tease.”
Javier smacks his hand into your thigh, hard, leaving the hot mark of his palm and fingers behind. He looks up at you with fiery eyes. “You told me to use you. I’m doing what the fuck I want to do,” he murmurs, going back to his actions and nipping at the skin.
You squeal at the feeling of his teeth, at the way he’s manhandling you but somehow painfully soft and affectionate. It’s the most perfectly Javier moment, especially when he sits back and stands, then pulls you to him by the loop over your chest.
“I’m not playing nice tonight,” he warns you, his face close to yours. “You still want it?”
Now it’s your turn to gulp. Javier is painfully hard, you can feel it against your side, and all you want is that inside of you, no matter the cost. “Yes, Javi,” you purr submissively, and he pulls you even closer with a finger through the metal loop.
He kisses you bruisingly hard, his hip starting to rut into your side. You nip at his lip teasingly and Javier grunts, breaking away and panting. “Oh fuck,” he shudders as he looks down at your breasts in that bustier, pushing them up higher. He falls to his knees on the bed this time, pulling you closer by the loop once more and turning his attention to your chest.
Not a millimeter of skin is untouched, Javier’s mouth kissing and licking and sucking and biting you. There’s sure to be constellations of love bites and bruises across your tits tomorrow, but you want it. You wrap your arms around Javi and fall back, lying down now.
Javier suckles your nipples through the lace, dampening the lingerie and making you groan helplessly. One of his thighs is pressed against your aching clit, and you grind against it, desperate to feel anything from him. You cry out as he tugs at the nipple with his teeth, pulling the lingerie with his mouth. You grind yourself harder into the strong muscle of his leg, desperate.
“You want my mouth somewhere else, bebita?” Javier murmurs with his mouth between your tits, eyes looking up at you with both teasing and desire.
Nodding, you roll your hips into his leg again. “Right here, Javi,” you choke out, spreading your legs wider and planting your heels on the bed for traction.
“I want to take my time and devour every inch of you, pretty girl,” he murmurs as his lips find your navel, just above the garter belt. “And you’ll take it, won’t you?”
Nodding, Javier laps at the soft skin of your stomach, his hands gripping your sides as he works lower, dampening the edges of the lace panties with his painfully wet and hot tongue.
Your legs open wider and you bury your hands in his hair, and he finally turns his attention to the aching between your legs. “I haven’t even touched you here yet,” he murmurs in astonishment as he runs a finger through your folds, smirking as you keen into his finger when it presses against your clit. You’re drenched and you know it. “Hands and knees,” Javier orders, and you immediately comply.
He does this sometimes, when he wants you to feel it in a different way. His hands grip your ass, digging into the soft plush skin he finds there. The soft noise you make at the feeling of his fingers digging in is overtaken by a louder moan as his mouth finally finds your clit, sucking and lapping at it.
You’re so aroused that it takes a very short time before you’re coming apart, face pressed into the pillows. “Javi, Javi,” you cry again and again, fingers digging into the bedsheets.
He slips two fingers inside of you and you’re done for. The second he curls them, you shout his name again and let yourself go, the agonizing bliss rushing through your body.
When you’re done, Javi delivers a sharp smack to your ass. “Didn’t say you could cum,” he reminds you and kneads the flushed skin he just struck. “That means I’m going to fuck you and I don’t give a damn if you cum again.”
With any other man, you’d snort. One orgasm is all you get if you’re lucky. But this is Javier. He’ll spend hours with his mouth on you, making you cum so many times he has to be the one to keep track.
But this is Javier, and so you nod and wave your ass seductively in the air, daring to push into his hips and grind the soft skin there into his hard member. “Okay,” you murmur, and Javier pushes into you harshly, groaning at the way the lace parts with your folds.
The feeling of him inside of you is always a stretch, but always in the best way. He wastes no time in chasing his own high, gripping your hips hard and thrusting with all of his might.
Every slap of his hips into your ass, every time he pounds into your g-spot, every little thing he does is too much. You’re still reeling from the orgasm not too long ago, overwhelmed and rushed.
It doesn’t matter that Javier isn’t trying to get you off; he does it anyway. The pounding into your g-spot coupled with the way his dick stretches you had you orgasming again, squirting all over him and crying out his name.
“Look at that,” he says with a smirk, between grunts. “Look at you, bebita. Not even getting you off, just fucking using you, and you squirt all over me. But you didn’t fucking ask, did you?” He says with another smack to the ass. He pulls out completely, leaving you feeling desperately empty and fluttering against nothing. “Sit up.”
You comply, feeling your sensitive clit as it brushes against the cool bedsheets. You look up at him with wide eyes, as if you don’t know what seems to be the problem.
“You said to use you, I’m going to use you. Open,” he says and cups your jaw. Once you do, he wastes no time in slipping himself into the desperately hot confines of your mouth. You swirl your tongue around him and he grunts. “Dirty girl. You don’t even get to cum like this and you love it.”
You nod as you suck on the tip, working your tongue against the frenulum. He’s achingly hard, just about to cum. You know it. You know Javier’s body, know the little mannerisms.
“I’m going to cum down your throat, you got that?” He asks as he holds onto your throat, not squeezing or pressing. Just holding you there. In response, you take him into your throat and swallow around him, making him groan harder.
“Fuckin’ dirty little angel, wearing white lingerie and making me fuck her,” he says with a strained voice, impossibly close. “I ruined her. I ruined her and she fuckin’ loves it- fuck,” he cries as he shoots his hot release down your throat and you swallow every last bit.
When he’s done, he pulls out from your mouth and groans, lying on the bed and pulling you to follow him. His arms wrap around you and he kisses your head. “Was that what you had in mind?” He asks with a hoarse voice.
“Are you relaxed?” You ask, swallowing hard and knowing your throat will be sore in the morning. Just another delicious reminder of how good Javier is.
He nods softly, and you smile and kiss his lips ever so lightly. “Then it’s exactly what I wanted.”
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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years ago
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While You Sleep
Epilogue (Chapter 20)
Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: N/A, mainly fluffy Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.
A/N: thank you all so much for reading! I’ve never really done such a full-length fic before so I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. I had so much fun writing it and I’m even working on a spin-off series centered around Steve. I’ll have links to that coming soon (I don’t think it will be available on Tumblr)
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
One Year Later
“I don’t know, doll, it seems a little small,” Bucky said as you two wandered around the two-story suburban. 
“Small?” You chuckled. “You got some big plans, Barnes?”
Bucky eyed you. “I got a few ideas, Mrs. Barnes.”
You held up your left hand, your engagement ring twinkled from the sunlight shining into the empty master bedroom. “Future Mrs. Barnes.”
“Close enough,” Bucky shrugged with a ridiculous smirk on his face. You pushed his shoulder lightly.
You two had made some major moves in the past year - you almost couldn’t figure out how you actually got here. It felt like just yesterday you were begging Bucky to retire and now here you two were looking at homes. Engaged. 
Bucky had even gotten a local construction job (they were quite impressed with how much he could carry) and, in a grand moment of impulsivity, cut his hair. He claimed it just made it easier with his job but you felt it held a bit more meaning to him than just that. 
But no matter the reason, you very much loved the shorter look, taking any chance you could to run your fingers through it. Including now, as you two looked around in one of the other rooms of the home. Your realtor had specifically called this one a children’s room. You and Bucky had pretended not to hear that.
“I don’t think it’s horrible,” you said and you did mean that. The home was fine. It was average, what could be expected for a house in the suburbs of the city. It wasn’t so far away that you were out of reach from the others but still gave you guys a fresh start.
Bucky sighed. “Yeah, but it’s not wowing you.”
You shook your head. “No, it’s not. Maybe we’ll have better luck with the next one.” Bucky agreed and you two descended the stairs meeting your realtor in the kitchen. That was probably the best part of the house and you hated to watch it go but you weren’t keen on buying an entire home for one room. You explained your situation to the realtor and she agreed. You planned to meet next week at another home she thinks you two would find to be much more suitable. 
You departed shortly after and decided on a little cafe to stop in at for lunch. You ate on their patio, looking out at the suburban landscape. There was a park not too far away completed with a baseball field and jungle gym. A Starbucks sat kiddie-corner from the cafe. It seemed like the perfect area for you two. 
“I can’t believe this,” you mumbled, a bit accidentally. Bucky didn’t miss it. His brows furrowed at your words.
“What can’t you believe?” He asked. “This lunch? The sandwich is really good.”
You smiled. “No, I meant I can’t believe… This. All this. We’re sitting here having lunch, engaged, after looking at a home. This is life right now.”
Bucky nodded, picking at the side salad he had got with his sandwich. “I didn’t expect to be here.”
You didn’t know what to say. He had expressed these beliefs vaguely before but you hadn’t pressed, maybe a little nervous for what he would say.
Bucky continued, “I- When we first started moving forward, I was convinced something would go wrong. It all seemed perfect, too perfect. I thought there was a way I would mess it up or you would realize I’m not actually what you want or - or just something. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I never thought I’d have the guts to propose or you’d have any reason to say yes. I certainly didn’t think you’d want to move in with me permanently after…”
After everything you had seen. You didn’t need him to say anymore. You felt it, you knew it. You also had to admit, it had taken quite a few therapy trips for you to get more stable and confident in your newfound life. As for the dreams… They came and went. Sometimes they were normal, just depictions of Bucky in regular life, but any moment of distress would overshadow them. But it was nothing — absolutely nothing — compared to the violence you had once witnessed. You’d take these times of distress over it any day. You were happy you were getting along. Both you and Bucky had put in work and, so far, it was panning out.
“Bucky,” you said, “I couldn’t have imagined my life turning out any differently than this. This… This is perfect, in the best sense. You’re not going to mess anything up and, well, I guess if either of us does, we’ll get through it. I think we always do.”
Bucky’s eyes began to water but he ignored it and reached for your hands over the table. You allowed, holding him tightly.
“Thank you, doll,” he whispered, “so much.”
You chuckled a bit, fighting back the tears. “Gosh, we really a dramatic pair, aren’t we?”
Bucky matched your amusement, playfully rolling his eyes. “I guess so, but we work.”
“By some crazy, twisted Fate.”
Your soulmate hummed in agreement. “That’s definitely one way to describe it.”
You two shared a laugh then turned back to your meals. Where you two went from here was a bit uncertain. Would you find a home? When would you get married? Would little ones be on the horizon? You didn’t know the answers but you knew you two would figure it out. 
You had your soulmate and he was beyond anything you could’ve ever dreamed of.
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bullshxtvixen · 5 years ago
Note
can u do some oikawa or bokuto getting kinkyyyy in public like in the bleachers or smth 🥴🥴🥴
I’m sorry it took a while to post these, i’ve been setting up a haikyuu discord server so we can all thirst together so i’ve been slacking on requests :( but i really hope you enjoy them! ALSO I DID OIKAWA AND BOKUTO BECAUSE I COULDN’T DECIDE >.<
Public sex Headcanons - Oikawa and Bokuto
Warning: 18+, smut, public sex(duh) and a little bit of degradation.
Oikawa
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- He’s had the whole thing planned since you’d agreed to come to the game with him. You’ve usually been pretty open to trying new things with him but he knew that if he’d warned you about his plan you would’ve chickened out.
- So when you’re sat at the back of the bleachers looking down at a particularly boring match and his hand find its way beneath your skirt, you couldn’t help but tense up and look at him with wide eyes.
- “What do you think you’re doing?” You’ll hiss at him but he’s just going to carry on watching the match as if his fingers weren’t caressing your inner thigh and inching dangerously close to your core.
- Fucking tease.
- Your eyes would be darting around checking to see if anyone had noticed what was happening but he’d chosen a secluded spot right at the back so the nearest people were at least 5 rows in front. It’ll click in your mind then that he’d planned this.
- “ Tōru , this isn’t funny, someone coul-“ you won’t get to finish your sentence before two of his slender fingers easily move your panties to the side and slip between your folds, sliding into you with ease.
- “Someone could see, huh?” You wanted to wipe the shit eating grin off his face. “If you were so worried about that then why are you already so fucking wet for me when I’ve barely even touched you? I think you love the risk of being caught, don’t you, you slut?”
- His words would have you shuffling in your seat as his fingers pick up their pace, his thumb now circling your clit, making that familiar ache build in the pit of your stomach.
- Gripping his thigh and digging your nails in won’t dissuade him, he’ll just continue to watch you from the corner of his eye with a smirk. He loves seeing you squirm.
- “T-tooru, I’m g-going to...I’m gonna...cum.” The words were almost incoherent, but he knew what you meant.
- “Ah ah ah, we can’t have that now, can we? You wouldn’t want to do something as dirty as cum all over my fingers in a public place now, would you?” He’ll pull his fingers out like the fucking tease he is, leaving you empty and unsatisfied.
- Annoyed and flustered, you’d get up and go to make your way past your idiot boyfriend but before you could get around him, he’s pulling you down into his lap, one arm firmly around your waist, securing you to him.
- “Don’t make a sound, don’t move unless I tell you to and don’t close your eyes. If you do any of those things I’m going to bend you over that seat in front of us and fuck your sopping little cunt right here for the whole gym to see, do you understand, sweetheart?”
- You wouldn’t even be able to process what was happening before for he growls “Answer me.” as his hand palms your ass. The only thing you could do was nod.
- That’s all he needed. In seconds he’s lifting you up ever so slightly so he can free his cock from the confines of his trousers, before pulling your panties to the side and easing you down onto his throbbing length.
- His cock isn’t the longest but his girth makes up for it, stretching you in the most delicious way possible.
- Your eyes would almost roll into the back of your head at the feel of him filling you but you couldn’t risk them closing, though the thought of him fucking you in front of a large group of people as they watched does spike your arousal.
- Your pussy is going to be clenching around his cock so tightly that he knows it won’t take much for either of you to find your release.
- “God, your cunt feels fucking amazing wrapped around me like that,” he’ll whisper in your ear, “but let’s get those hips of yours moving so I can fill you up with my cum.”
- Then his hands are on your hips, moving you back and forth against his cock as your nails bite into your palms.
- “That’s it, I can feel how close you are. Cum for me, cum all over my cock while we’re surround by all these people, you dirty little slut.”
- Then you’re both coming undone, you almost biting through your bottom lip in an attempt to stay silent while his hands have a death drip on your hips.
- “Fuck, you’re such a good girl. Now let’s get out of here, we wouldn’t want my cum dripping out of you and ruining these seats now, would we?”
- Make no mistake, as soon as you get home he’s going to absolutely destroy you.
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Bokuto
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- Bokuto has never really thought about fucking you in a public setting before, but seeing you in a skimpy swimsuit for the first time as you slowly test the water of one of the tide pools at the far end of the beach is too much temptation for him to resist. As lust begins to take over, it’s almost like he becomes a completely different person.
- He’ll watch as you lower yourself into the crystal blue water, slowly submerging yourself until your feet hit the rocky bottom. Luckily the water just comes up to your chest so you’re still able to lean your arms on the side of the smooth rock as some of the boys begin a new match on the sand a little further up the beach from you.
- Bokuto’s going to use the fact you’re distracted by the game to silently slip into the far side of the pool before dipping under the water and making his way towards you, fully submerged.
- When he surfaces he’ll put a hand over your mouth and his other around your waist, pulling your body flush against his in a flash.
- As you start to struggle his breath is going to brush against your neck before his familiar chuckle finds your ears.
- “Easy now, little bird, it’s just me.” He’ll say before removing his hand and pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder, causing you to shiver against him.
- ‘Little bird’ is only something he calls you when it comes to sex so you immediately know something’s going on.
- The hand that was covering your mouth will snake down the front of your body, making it’s way between your supple thighs that he loves burying his face between.
- When you tense up he just smirks against your skin, his breath fanning against your neck.
- “What are you playing at, Kou?”
- Another chuckle. “Do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to just slip these to the side” his fingers trace the fabric covering your now throbbing cunt, “and take you right here and now, while our friends are just over there?”
- He’ll grind his hardened cock against your ass as he says it, causing you to arch into him, your head falling against his shoulder.
- He’ll use that to his advance and cover your lips with his own.
- And you know he’s going to take that moment of distraction to hook his fingers into the material of your swim suit and tug it to the side so he push the entire length of his cock into you in one quick thrust.
- It’s a good thing his mouth is covering yours because the feel of him stretching your walls is going to have you moaning against his lips.
- “Geez, would you guys get a room, you look like you’re about to fuck!” Someone who sounds suspiciously like Kuroo, calls from the direction of where the teams were playing, but the only thing you could focus on is the slow rock of your boyfriends hips against your backside.
- You should be embarrassed, maybe even ashamed that your boyfriend is about to fuck you while your friends aren’t even 10 meters away from you, but the risk of being caught is only making you that much more turned on.
- “You better say something to him before they come over here and investigate, little bird or they’re going to see what a cock hungry little devil you are.” He’ll whisper in your ear, his cock continuing to throb inside of you.
- From where the boys are positioned it would just look as though Bokuto was innocently cuddling you and being a doting boyfriend, but if they came any closer they’d see that beneath the surface of the water he was buried inside you as his hand made lazy circles around your clit.
- “~ahh, umm-fuck you, rooster boy. You’re just j-jealous because i’d be getting some.” Yeah your voice isn’t going to be stable as you say it but luckily Kuroo doesn’t question it and returns to the game.
- “Mmm, that’s a good little bird.” He’s got your fingers gripping at the rocks in front of you as your orgasm starts to build faster, his hips trapping yours against the hard surface in front of you as he slides his cock into you over and over again.
- “Fuck, Kou. You feel so fucking good, I’m close.” You’d whisper, knowing he’s a sucker when it comes to being praised.
- Even though it’s not the usual crazy sex that you’ve grown accustomed to with Bokuto, the slow build up of your orgasm has you covering your mouth as it finally washes over your body.
- Within seconds you’ll feel him release inside of you as your walls clench around him, filling you with his hot cum and his arms tighten around you.
- “Holy fuck, y/n. That was...so hot. I can’t believe we just did that.” Immediately he’s back to his usual self.
- He’s going to spend the rest of the day walking round with some extra bounce in his step and he’ll probably even blush whenever he looks your way. He really can’t believe he did that.
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Ngl I’m not 100% happy with them but then again I never am 😂 I hope you liked them! If you have a request, feel free to send it in! ^.^
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animeangst · 3 years ago
Text
One More Time
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𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: Zeke x Reader
𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: Angst Oneshot
𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Major Character Death, Manga Spoilers, Graphic Depictions of Violence, starts off with fluff, angst ending, Marlyean!Reader
𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 3.1k
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This for the Reiner and Zeke birthday collab with @saccharine-darling
So this is my first collab!!! Very exciting! It is for my lovely husband's birthday so of course I am going to be dishing out the feels!
I thought it would be interesting to explore a Marlyean!Reader. I see a lot of Paradis focused content and I thought it would be cool to see it from the other side.
This does contain Season 4 spoilers! Manga Spoilers at the end that will be tagged so if you aren't caught up you can read until that part
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You woke up in the War Chief's bed like usual. The soft covers shielding your naked body from the cold air in the room. Zeke however was missing. You figured he had gotten up early to work on the plans for the next advancement for Marley.
You were crawling out of bed gripping the covers to your body when you heard a knock at the door. You didn’t say anything hoping the person would just leave. However, Porco opened the door.
“Oh, y/n.” He said unfazed. Your half lidded eyes met his; thankfully the covers were shielding your tired body from Porco’s harsh gaze. The two of you didn’t move a muscle, both filled with an awkwardness neither of you knew how to handle
“What do you need?” You asked quietly, the embarrassment starting to catch up to you.
“Well just tell Zeke I need to talk to him.” Porco replied; with that he left, closing the door behind him. You let out a sigh as you dropped the sheets from your body allowing yourself to get dressed in last night’s clothing.
The walk home from Zeke’s room in the command building was familiar. You have known him practically your whole life, and it was pretty much fate that you ended up together. You have come to know all of the Warriors in the time you have known Zeke. They spend most days together, and when they are not doing great things for Marley you get to spend time with the great heroes as well.
You were grateful to be able to be an Honorary Marlyean due to your relationship with Zeke. He had proposed last year, but with the war going on up until recently there was no time to get married.
Tonight was going to be the Festival! You had been looking forward to this for weeks. You hoped that there would be time other than nights for you and Zeke to be together. You had gotten to your own small apartment that you shared with Zeke, or well when he is not at the command building.
In reality it was just your apartment, nothing fancy. You walked over to your small table, by the window. There was a wilting flower that Zeke had brought to you when he got back from the War effort. You smiled, not only was he a great Warrior, he thought about you while he was gone.
You tidied up the stack of letters, and took the flower from the vase. You took a book from the shelf and placed the flower inside. The book was practically overflowing with press flowers. You were unable to let yourself throw them away. Anything that Zeke sent you was precious.
You got dressed for the day, you fixed your red armband to your left arm and brushed your clothing down. You adorned some of your finer clothing for the festival. You looked at yourself in the mirror as you fixed your hair.
You heard the lock on the front door turnover as you walked out of the room. Your heart swelled as you saw Zeke come inside, he walked over to you enveloping you in a strong hug. He was wearing his normal military uniform, which you expected; he looked great. You smiled up at him, breaking away from the hug. He held out his arm for you to grab.
“Well let’s get going, y/n.” He walked with you, leading you down towards the street. “We have lots to do before tonight.”
Zeke brought you to the festival. The streets are packed with Marleyans and Eldians alike. There were different stalls sporting trinkets and food. It looked magical. You have never seen anything like this before. The excitement bubbled over in you like a little kid. You saw the Warrior candidates run past you, Reiner trailing behind them.
“On babysitting duty, Reiner?” You asked playfully. He gave you a weak smile, his eyes looked tired.
“You could say that.” He mumbled. You could hear the kids calling his name in the distance. “I think I’m needed up there.” He walked away, the candidates flocking around him like little birds.
“That could be you one day.” Zeke whispered into your ear. You chuckled, blushing slightly.
“Let’s worry about getting married first, huh?” You retorted. Zeke gave your hand a squeeze; he led you to a stall selling small glass animals. You were quick to pick up one that looked like a monkey to show your fiance.
“Is that all you think of me, y/n?” Zeke asked dramatically. You chuckled.
“Well you are the greatest beast titan in our history, so… yes!” Zeke sighed, shaking his head. He too looked over the little figurines.
“And you, my dear y/n” He picked up a small figure of a cat. “Are a scared little kitten.”
“Hey I’m not scared!” You interjected. “I have you to protect me.” You looked up at Zeke, he was right. You were a scared kitten, but you had Zeke and that was enough to make you feel better in any situation.
“You know I’ll always be on your side.” Zeke said lovingly pushing a stray hair behind your ear.
“Of course, Zeke. I love you.” You looked up at him. He gave you a gentle kiss, his warm lips on yours. He held you gently as if you were one of the glass figurines, and even the slightest touch could shatter you.
“You know, y/n.” Zeke looked at you, squeezing your hand. “Since the war is over, we can actually get married.” Your heart swelled, he was right. The two of you had practically planned the whole thing in the letters you two sent to each other. Zeke pulled you into a hug, his strong arms enveloping you in his warmth. He smelled slightly of cigarettes and coffee, something you have come to love.
“There are just a few more things I need to attend to. Then I am all yours for the rest of my time.” Zeke said, faltering a bit on his last words. Zeke didn’t have much time left, but that didn’t matter to you. You were always Zeke’s from the beginning. You knew that there was a time limit between you and him, but no matter what you love for him would not expire.
“I’ll always be here. I can wait a little longer.” You laugh looking up into his eyes. He smiles down at you, his hand brushing your cheek.
“You know, I wish I could ask you to marry me all over again.” He placed his forehead on yours. “Your reaction will be burned into my memory forever.
He was right, it was quite the reaction. You couldn’t stop sobbing and Zeke thought he had upset you. When all you could do was nod your head yes and run into his arms, he knew that he made the right decision.
You looked down at your matching rings, very simple silver bands. You could see the tan line on Zeke’s finger from where his ring normally sat. You don’t believe that he has taken it off since he had put it on, same with you. There was always a piece of one with the other.
Zeke walked off from this booth and went on to the second, and the third and the fourth. The two of you walked through the whole festival eating snacks along the way. You were stuffed by the time the sun was setting.
“Today was amazing!” You exclaimed. “I wish we could do this everyday.” You let out a deep sigh.
“Maybe we can.” Zeke said quietly, now in thought. You looked up at him in wonder.
“You really think they would let us?” You asked excitedly. Zeke smiled down at you.
“I think so.” He whispered into your ear, giving you a gentle kiss on your temple. “Come now, let's go get good seats.
The sun was set by the time you walked over towards the stage. There were so many chairs layed out for the show, and you were becoming more and more excited.
“Oh I see the other warriors, let's go sit with them!” You said, starting to walk over.
“No.” Zeke interjected, grabbing your hand. “Let’s sit near the back, just the two of us.” He smiled at you, and that you did. You found two open seats near the back of the section. Zeke placing his hand in your lap.
You both waited patiently for the show to start. You saw Willy Tyber take his place up on the stage. You also saw Reiner and Falco leave.
“I wonder, where are they going?” You whispered to Zeke.
“Hmm, I don’t know.” He replied. “I have to go to the bathroom, wait here.” Zeke said. Before you could stop him, Zeke had gotten up and left. You watched the show happening in front of you hearing about the “true history” of Eldia.
You thought it was just a bunch of hogwash, that was until you were knocked from your seat, large pieces of the adjacent building narrowly missing you. All you could do was run for your life. You had no idea what was happening, or what had happened. Your legs carried you without thinking into an ally.
You could hear a titan’s ear piercing roar; it felt as if your eardrums had burst. You covered your ears and peaked around the corner to see who you assumed was Eren Jaeger.
This was all his fault.
All you could hope for was that the Warriors would take care of him. You wondered where they were; you wonder where Reiner and Falco went off too.
You continued up the ally, hoping to get further away from the destruction behind you. You heard an unfamiliar whirring above you. You looked up to see people flying above the buildings. Ropes attaching them and pulling them through the air. You had heard stories from Reiner about this gear, it was from the island of devils.
You could see someone land on the roof above you, a tall man with a goatee and medium length hair. You looked up at him, fear apparent on your face. You figured he would kill you, but instead he did a “shooing” motion urging you to continue running in the direction you were heading. Which you did, your legs working on their own dragging you to somewhere hopefully safe.
Your heart pounded, you heard screams and crashing behind you. Your ears still ringing from the screeching of the titan battle. All you could think of was, Zeke. How you hoped that he was okay, he would save you. Zeke was the strongest man you knew, you held out hope that he would find you.
You rounded a corner, there you saw Zeke’s crumpled titan form. You ran towards it, calling out for him desperately. You could see a man with short black hair, and that fancy gear the other enemies were wearing. The man cut Zeke out of his titan.
“Wake up, Zeke.” You screamed, stumbling as you tried to rush to his aide. The loud clashing of the titans behind you made it impossible for them to hear you. It looked as if they were talking, the man was giving a disapproving glare at Zeke. If you didn’t know any better you would even think that they knew each other.
You finally made it to where you could hear their conversation. The raven haired man hadn’t noticed you, nor had Zeke.
“I hope you like what your plan caused.” The man said to Zeke.
Your plan?
“Well I didn’t account for everything of course.” Zeke replied, the steam of his healing obscuring his face.
“Zeke?” You whimpered out. Both Zeke and the raven haired man whipped their heads around to you. You were standing there gripping at your jacket, which was covered in dirt and blood. You were barely able to stand, your injuries as well as the exhaustion was catching up to you.
“What did he mean by your plan?” You questioned, stumbling in his direction. “He’s lying right? Just like a devil would.”
You stifle a laugh. This had to be a joke; this man, whoever he was, must have manipulated Zeke.
“See, I didn’t account for everything.” Zeke said to the man.
“Who is that?” The man asked disinterestedly. He looked at you like you were a speck of dirt.
“That, Levi, was my fiance.” Zeke sneered, looking at you down his nose.
“Was?” You looked up with pleading eyes. “No matter what, Zeke. I’m on your side.” You tried to climb up to where they were standing. “Please, he’s lying to you.” You slipped, falling back onto the rubble below you.
“Y/n.” Zeke cooed. “It’s alright, everything will be alright.” He came down to meet you, taking your face in his hands. Levi came down with him and let out a ‘tch’ sound.
“Let’s go Furrball.” He commanded. Zeke helped you up, and practically dragged you inside the building.
“Where are you taking me?” You questioned, you were practically shaking in your boots. Everything was happening so fast and there was so much you didn’t understand.
“Hush, y/n.” Zeke whispered, squeezing your shoulder to calm you. “I’ll explain on the airship.” Air ship? Were you being kidnapped?
“No!” You shouted, wiggling out of Zeke’s grasp. If looks could kill, Levi’s death glare would have been the end of you. “What is happening? What about Marley and the other Warriors? They need you Zeke, you need to defeat Eren Jaeger.”
“Move.” Levi commended, Zeke hoisted you up, not acknowledging your questions. He carried you to the roof of the building, you were too exhausted to fight back.
“Please, Zeke.” You whined. “What is happening?”
Zeke placed you down, you could see an airship in the distance following lights placed on the buildings. There were fires everywhere, buildings were destroyed.
“I can’t say everything right here, but if you just come with us I can explain the whole thing.” Zeke said, rubbing your shoulders.
“I can’t!” You scream. “I’ve been a good Marleyan, I can’t just go with them.”
“Y/n, it’s not what you think.” Zeke said lightly, trying to get you to calm down.
“Whatever you are doing, I bet it’s him controlling you.” You pointed at Levi, he looked unamused with your accusation.
“We can’t take her with us.” Levi said sternly. Zeke sighed.
“No, y/n. It’s not like that.” Zeke shook his head. You wiggled out of his grasp, he frowned. You could see the cogs turning in his head, trying to find the right words. “You just don’t know the whole truth. I know you don’t want to hear it, but please know that I love you, y/n”
Zeke pulled you in for a kiss, you could feel all of his emotions through it. His love, his sadness, his anger. He held you, as if he never wanted to let you go. Zeke broke away, leaving you breathless.
“Wait for me, y/n.” He whispered. “I know you’re a good Honorary Marlyean, but you mustn't tell anyone what happened here or about me.” He had crouched down slightly to look into his eyes, you could see he was very serious.
“I won’t, Zeke.” You muttered, it was the only thing you really could say. In reality you have no idea what is going on, but it may be worse if you did. “I’ll wait.” You looked into his eyes, determination shining in yours.
“Good.” Zeke smiled standing up. You could feel Levi’s eyes burning a hole in the back of your head. “I love you.” Zeke said, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“I love you, too.”
Zeke grabbed your hand and kissed the ring on your finger.
“Don’t you dare forget me.” Zeke chuckled.
“Never.” You replied. “You’ll be back, I know it.” With that Levi started to drag Zeke away, the large airship closer now, almost to the building. You saw Levi latch onto the railing with his special gear, and dragged Zeke with him.
You ran back down to the street. Everything seemed to have died down. You looked for anyone you may know to get you out of here.
“Y/n!” You heard behind you. Reiner came up to you, he looked awful. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”
He took you, his arm around your shoulders gently coaxing you to walk with him. You looked up, seeing the airship fly away. All you could do was watch as yet again Zeke left once more.
---
You had waited for a month now. You were starting to think that Zeke was never coming back. The warriors had left for the Island a bit ago, and you hoped that they would send word about him.
You sat in your normal spot by the window, placing your coffee down on the table. You were often here, hoping to see Zeke come home. It was really all you could do.
You were about to take another sip as ripples formed in the smooth dark liquid. You could see dust flying through the air, and there was a slight shake to the ground. You looked around wildly, the only thing that you knew could do this would be a Titan.
You dropped your coffee, the mug shattering on the ground as you ran down to the street. There you could see it, tons of 50 meter titans walking steadily in your direction. You were frozen with fear, there was nothing you could do.
You just hoped that Zeke would be here soon, but he wasn’t. You knew that running away would be fruitless. You were not able to move from the spot on the street out of fear. Others scrambled to get away, pushing you around.
Something inside of you told you to stay, that this was how you would see Zeke again. You couldn’t help but stare up at the titans coming your way. This was the first time you were truly able to see them. The titan shifters looked nothing like these terrifying beasts.
You almost felt bad for the Devils that had been tortured by these monsters for all these years. The stories of them from Reiner fill your mind.
Reiner, I wonder if he’s okay
You closed your eyes, accepting your fate. The ground shaking beneath you. You weren’t scared anymore, you could barely feel your own body. You felt weightless. The last thing you remembered was Zeke, kissing you goodbye for the last time. All you hoped for was to see him, just one more time.
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serpentinesarang · 4 years ago
Text
the rest is a secret
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pairing: hyunjin (hwang hyunjin) x fem reader
genre: relationship!au, detailed smut
word count: 1983
content warnings: first-time sex (virginity can be implied if desired), unprotected sex (reader on contraception), mild swearing, lil bit of dom-y hyunjin
summary: it’s been three months with your boyfriend hyunjin, and he’s been patiently waiting to spice things up. when he accidentally encounters post-shower reader, he seizes the opportunity to do so.
a/n: requested by anon. thanks for your patience :)
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
I can’t believe he’s taking me somewhere special for dinner tonight! you squeal in your mind, wrapping up a hot shower. You wring out the remaining soap from your loofah before turning off the water and drying off.
You think back to the text from Hyunjin you’d woken up to: Dress up for dinner tonight... the rest is a secret. Have a good day, baby. Sighing with delight, you wrap your hair up and go about your body lotion routine, making sure to use the one Hyunjin had gifted you on your two-month anniversary. Might as well go all out... you think.
Just as you’re reaching for your face products, you hear a sharp knock at the door. It’s the middle of the afternoon, and you’ve got nothing on the agenda besides dinner with Hyunjin, so who the hell is trying to bother you?
With an exasperated huff, you throw on the thin robe hanging off the bathroom door and step into the hallway, but your heart nearly drops to your intestines as you hear the electronic beeping of your front door passcode being punched in. The keypad sings its little opening tune, and you’re too frozen with panic to process the door swinging open and showing none other than your sweet boyfriend.
Oblivious, Hyunjin closes the door behind him like business as usual then glances up and locks eyes with you across the way. His mouth falls ajar, his spine shifts up, and he stops himself from getting closer.
“Y-you gave me the code last week... Remember?” he asks in a soft, almost scared tone. 
You let out the breath you’d been holding this whole time, your hands uncontrollably flying up to fist your hair out of sheer relief. “Yes!” you reply breathlessly. “I just... forgot about it, I guess...”
Smiling, Hyunjin pads over, stopping a few feet before you. “You freaked me out with that look on your face, baby.”
You pause for a moment, still trying to piece together why his presence doesn’t quite feel right. What’s he doing here before dinner? He’d disappeared after that text anyway, so you’d figured he was just gonna spend the day working.
“I’m sorrrry,” you chuckle sheepishly, bouncing a heel against the floor. “I wasn’t expecting to see you for, like, another hour or two.”
Hyunjin takes your hands in his, thumbs stroking your knuckles. “This was part of my plan: surprise you before dinner.”
Oh. Shit. He did explicitly allude to that in his text this morning.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here then,” you reply with a sweet smile.
His eyes do that adorable crescent moon thing as he matches your grin while squeezing your fingers in random patterns. “Dork. You smell good, by the way.” 
Then his eyes flick downward to the white robe you’d haphazardly tied around yourself. This is the first time in your relationship that he’s seeing you wearing something more revealing than work or street clothes or pajamas. And he digs it a lot so far.
Resuming eye contact, Hyunjin asks with puppy-dog eyes, “Did I interrupt anything?”
Missing his well-veiled insinuation, you answer, “Not at all. I just got out of the shower, actually.”
Dropping your hands and instead placing his on your waist, Hyunjin says in a hushed voice, “Do you know how sexy you look right now?”
You gently grasp his forearms, feeling a tingle of excitement course through your nerves. “No... Tell me more.” You stare up at him with growing determination, your intuition screaming that this is a make-or-break moment, and god are you ready. Three months of just making out and dry-humping is torture.
“Nah,” he murmurs before craning his neck to plant a long, deep kiss on your lips. He pulls less than an inch away, his lips literally still atop yours. “You already know.”
At that, you cup his cheeks and mash your lips back together. A pang of desperation flashes within your chest as he molds his torso against yours and wraps his arms around your back, so you part your lips to meet tongues.
You’ve wanted this since the one-month mark because you and Hyunjin just click, and the level of physical magnetism between you has always been unbearably high. He’s truly your best friend, more so than your few girlfriends. You don’t need to think this through because now it feels right.
A few moments have passed. Hyunjin has carried and plopped you dead center on your bed. Looming over on all fours, he bores his eyes into yours with a nearly palpable kind of lust.
“Do you want me to undress?” he asks.
You smile. “I don’t care either way, baby. I’m just thrilled this is happening.”
Hyunjin smirks before tugging off his hoodie (no undershirt, that lazybones) and coming back down to tenderly kiss you. You feel the knot around your waist loosening, but he only moves the robe off your chest. Oh so delicately, he palms the underside of one of your breasts while bracing himself with the other hand.
You whimper when he kisses a sensual, painfully slow trail down your neck, stopping near the top of your other breast to gently suck and kiss. Both hands greedily rolling your breasts now, he slithers back to your lips, being a little more careless this time around.
Feeling your hunger exploding, you undo his jeans and slide a hand in, grasping his throbbing, girthy dick. Hyunjin groans into your mouth and thrusts his hips deeper into your touch, begging you wordlessly. So you oblige by slowly pumping his shaft and snaking your free hand in and around to grab a supple butt-cheek.
“Baby,” he whispers between kisses. “Harder―please.”
Trying not to smirk too much, you grant his request, maybe just a liiiittle too much pressure, but you reason that he’s way too turned on at this point. You even pick up the pace to a steady rhythm, occasionally caressing that butt-cheek.
Still feverishly making out with you, Hyunjin emits a deliciously drawn out moan against your lips, and he switches to tenderly pinching your nipples between his fingertips, which causes you to moan too. Now you can feel the precum gathering on your palm.
“Jinnie,” you pull away, “I’m as ready as you are.” Your eyes dart down to his dark pink tip bobbing in and out of view then back to his flushed face.
“Good,” he breathes out. “��Cause I want you bad.” 
With that, he pulls himself upright, forcing you to stop pumping him, as he scoots down your thighs to move aside the rest of your robe, finally giving him what he wants: your nude, freshly showered body all for him.
You can see his eyes actually glazing over with desire as he shamelessly assesses you, his hands trembling over you as if he can’t believe this isn’t his nightly handjob fantasy.
“Hyunjin, why are you shaking? Are you nervous?” you ask, starting to doubt yourself.
“No, I’m so fucking over the moon right now I don’t know what to do,” he replies, a seductive airiness in his voice.
You pause, taking his words into consideration. “That’s okay, babe. Why don’t we take the rest off?”
Within seconds, your robe is chucked to the floor along with his jeans and underwear. You climb on top of Hyunjin and sit on his thighs, his beautiful erection lying like a stone against his flat stomach as he strokes your own thighs with his moistening palms. 
“Can I touch you?” you ask, doing your best to keep your excitement from bubbling over.
“Please touch me,” he murmurs with expectant eyes, bringing his hands to your hips.
With the pad of your index finger, you trace a line up his veiny shaft from the base, and Hyunjin loudly exhales when you graze over the sensitive frenulum. Now, you lightly run your dominant hand up his shaft, pausing to dig his tip in circles against your palm.
“You’re teasing me...” Hyunjin whines, gripping your hips even tighter in his big hands.
You smirk. “What should I do then?”
He simply burns you with a narrow-eyed gaze, either mentally swearing about how ridiculously hot you look on top or carefully choosing his words.
Completely flipping the situation, though, he overpowers you with zero struggle, barreling you both over so he can loom above you again.
“I’ll tell you what you can do,” he responds in a dangerously husky tone while he captures your wrists in one of his hands and roughly pins them against the pillows. “You’re gonna have the best night of your life,” he growls, knocking your legs apart with his knee.
And without skipping a beat, Hyunjin pushes into you with his other hand pressed horizontally against your abdomen to feel his length poking upward from within your flexible, very aroused walls. And it does, causing an uncharacteristically high-pitched yelp to escape your mouth.
Hyunjin freezes, bringing that hand to your cheek, still tightly clutching your wrists in the other. “Tell me when,” he whispers, eyes roving all over your expression of combined surprise and newfound pleasure.
You take this moment to push your chin up and open-mouth kiss him a few times before whispering your permission while he tries to palm one of your breasts: “Go, Hyunnie.”
Off he goes into a decent, far-from-slow pace, rolling his hips effortlessly into your wet core just enough to avoid slamming your cervix. Luckily for him, this is exactly where your G-spot rests.
“HYUNjin,” you huff as he adds more pressure to his thrusts, bumping into your spot every other second.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks in a breathy voice.
You can’t control your eyes rolling back in their sockets when he finally increases his speed, full-on hammering into your pussy now. “Nothing—oh fUCk—”
“Ohhh okay, that means ‘don’t stop,’” Hyunjin interrupts, looking at you smugly.
You regain control of your eyes long enough to meet his devilish expression with your own. “You can do better.”
The very millisecond his brain processes those haughty words, his eyes nearly boggle out of his skull before he laces his hands with yours and throws them down parallel to your shoulders. To sweeten the deal even more, he uses the same knee to slide under your thigh and push your leg up as far as he can press with his torso, which—at the marvelous new angle Hyunjin’s even harder dick is kissing your sweet spot now—sends you into your first vaginal orgasm.
Watching your chest uncontrollably convulse with euphoria, Hyunjin open-mouth grins out of both pride and arousal, pushing himself to let up on the speed but max out on pressure, definitely slamming your cervix with each purposeful thrust. At this, your own mouth flies open in a silent scream, and you struggle to keep your eyes open. 
“BabyIneedtocum,” Hyunjin groans in one mashed-together word before conjoining your mouths with messy kisses and tongue-sucking straight out of porn.
“I’m on birth control,” you sigh against his hair as he licks your neck. “Cum in me, Jinnie.”
You hear the most guttural, pussy-throbbing groan from him because that’s all he needs: your sexy, fucked-out voice (as if it wasn’t already naturally sexy to him) telling him to go ahead and paint your tight cave of wonders white. 
All in less than a second, Hyunjin releases your hands, wraps his arms around your body, presses himself against you with all the energy he has left, and digs his already pulsing dick as deep as possible. You’ve been unknowingly clenching on him this whole time in the wake of your heart-stopping orgasm, so he spends a good twenty seconds holding you, taken hostage by his own unbridled pleasure.
Panting as if he’d hiked five miles in the mountains, he pulls himself off of you, cups your flushed face in his warm hands, and says, “And it’s not even close to dinnertime.”
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