#lena’s works ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

[flowersforabby]

first time with loser!gf!ellie

she drags the tips of her fingers gently down your side, almost as if she's afraid to shatter you.

"you can tell me to stop," ellie says, voice so delicate that it teeters on becoming one with the low hum of the room.

"i don't know why you think i want to," you sigh, a small smile tugging on your lips as you shift to hold yourself up on your elbows.

her hand finds its way to one of your knees, both of which are propped up on the bed, rubbing soothing circles whilst her other hand lays awkwardly in her lap, fidgeting with the hem of her pants. the upper half of her body is bare, yet you keep your gaze focused on her face.

she looks pretty, in this light. the loose strands of her hair framing her freckled face. the way her eyes are illuminated by the light of your nightstand. the permanent slight pout to her lips. ellie looks different from the girl you'd fallen for, all those years ago, but this ellie- she's yours.

"i don't want you to feel like you're being rushed into this, or shit,"

"i'm ready if you are," you say.

she lets out a weak attempt of a laugh. "now you're just making me even more nervous,"

"i wouldn't want my first time to be with anyone but you,"

for a moment, the girl falls silent in thought.

you reach out for her hand, mirroring the motion she's doing on your knee. her eyes follow as you do so, yet she stays quiet for just a moment longer.

"i want to do it, but only if you do," you say. "i don't mind waiting, i don't mind if you want to do it right now, tomorrow, or whenever. i really don't care, ellie, i just care that i'm doing it with you,"

"yeah," ellie says, sucking in a deep breath. "let's do it,"

"okay,"

"but you gotta tell me if-"

"shut up, ellie."

"i don't want to hurt you,"

"you won't. i'll tell you if you do, but you won't. i know you,"

"yeah, kay,"

ellie slips her hand up your unclothed thigh, your shorts having been discarded a while ago, leaving you in only your undergarments. her skin is warm against you and she's never felt so real, so there. she leans down to peck your lips but before she gets the chance to fully pull away, you wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her in, her chest pressed against yours. a surprised huff escapes her mouth as she holds herself up with one arm. she's careful not to pull away from you as she makes herself comfortable, one knee between your legs and the other by your side. you always find yourself wanting more of her and you're pretty sure that soon enough, ellie won't have any more of herself to give.

you're caught off guard when you feel her knee pressed right against where you're most sensitive, letting out a choked breath as you stop sucking on her tongue. ellie pulls away, a small grin on her face, but it does barely anything to mask the nerves.

"shit babe," you say. "should i be worried you know 'bout that?"

her grin grows almost shy. "i'm not all that clueless,"

"oh?"

her hand finds itself on your jaw, guiding your lips back towards hers. she bites on your bottom lip slightly- your thing, which she stole, but you can't really complain because at least, she's doing it to you. your hands slowly travel up her sides, giving her the chance to push them away at any moment; she doesn't. ellie muffles a whine by pressing her lips harder onto yours, when you cup your hands around both her breasts, gently fondling with her pebbled nipples. she's eager with her kisses, chasing after you whenever you pull away to catch a breath. it's a side of her you don't see often, and it's somehow hard to believe that your sweet, loving girlfriend could be so… hungry.

"fuck," you hiss, biting back a moan.

this ellie, she's foreign to you. she's soft and slippery and sticky, slotted right against you. one of her legs is trapped beneath yours, the other, above. a pink flush is evident on her cheeks and the glassy look in her eyes, you've never seen her quite so desperate. her noises are dizzying- a varied array of curses, gasps, whines and moans that only fuels you further. you've got your hands pressed right against her chest, feeding into her laboured breathing whenever your fingers brush her sensitive nipples.

"wanna hear you," you mutter, leaning down to pepper a line of kisses down the side of  her jaw. 

ellie furrows her brows, her finger digging further into her hips as she tries to grind harder up into you, clits bumping together and making her whine. "fuck, babe,"

her desperation spurs you on, alongside the want to please her, to make her feel good. you ignore the soreness of your thighs, trying to keep on going despite the movement of your hips already starting to falter. ellie's wetness coats both your thighs and her own, even slicking down to the bedsheet with an evidently darker patch beneath her. the room feels hot and heavy, your moans echoing throughout your bedroom.

"think i'm gonna cum," ellie gasps. "shit,"

it's quite a sight quitewordly, when she does. she squeezes her eyes shut, tears pooling in the creases and she throws her head back into her pillows. the entirety of her body tenses up and it's a moment before she starts shaking, breathy gasps escaping past her lips as she digs her fingers deeper into your thighs.

"please, please," she begs, looking up at you through her eyelashes.

when your clits slide over each other once again, ellie abandons one of your thighs to clasp her hand tightly around her mouth, letting out a shaky whine.

eventually, you fall victim to her overstimulation, being pushed away right when you're about to cum. she's frantic with her apologies, repeatedly trying to explain that it's really too much for her and she can't bear to feel you brush up against her once more. you shut her up with a series of messy kisses, trying to ignore the throbbing of your core as you try to convince that really, it's fine. she doesn't think it is, no matter how hard you try to convince her, and ellie settles on slipping her hand right in between the two of you, rubbing tight circles on your clit and bringing you to what you had been craving for so long.

not proofread!!

a/n: this was supposed to have been based on this but i gave up

[flowersforabby]

gf!abby who just can't keep her lips off of yours, even for a moment

abby hasn't always been a fan of lip gloss. to her, it's too bland and sticky, and it leaves a greasy residue on her lips whenever she wipes it off. there's just so much she'd rather reach for, such as tinted lip balms or lip tints, both of which never clings to her hair. in all honesty, she might've once been one of the biggest gloss haters out there.

soon after she met you, abby came to the realization that gloss wasn't really so bad.

"stop it," you groan, trying to shove her away to no avail. "you're ruining my makeup,"

at first, she'd been sat on the edge of your shared bed, sipping on a cup of freshly brewed coffee as you told her all about your plans for the day, which happened to include your friends and exclude, her. abby then ended up bringing over a chair from the dining table to sit by your side, watching intently in the mirror as you did your makeup, highlighting all the features of your face that she loved so much. it wasn't long before she was standing behind you with her arms wrapped around your neck, trailing kisses along your jawline.

"y'just look so pretty, babe," she mumbles against your skin.

you're all dressed up and ready to go, with a periwinkle boatneck top and shorts on. abby on the other hand, still bears her seal patterned pyjama set, with a matching pair of seal slippers on her feet. her unbrushed hair flows down freely her shoulders, with tangles that hold the memory of your fingers once intwined in them. during your more intimate moments, abby almost seems like a greek god, but at the moment, she's really just your girl. she looks human, in  all the ways that make her abby.

she sneaks a hand under your shirt to palm at your stomach, a comforting warmth and weight on your torso as you reach over on your vanity before you for the very last step of your makeup look, the final touch. with smitten eyes, her pupils all dilated, she watches as you apply a thin layer on your lips. you glance at her in the mirror, weary of the way she stares at your face, and you know what's exactly about to come when she starts to get up, her arms pulling away from your side.

"go away, abby,"

"one kiss, promise,"

abby leans down for a kiss which you duck, and she lets out a whine, before tilting your chin up to face her.

"what's the point of  having a girlfriend if i can't kiss her when i think she looks all pretty?" she grins, eyes still focused on your lips.

"one,"

"i'll take it," she says.

usually, abby's good at keeping promises. she lives up to her word and you'd trust her with your life. this time, she lies, as once you pull away- lip gloss still in hand, she leans in for another kiss. you kiss her back, just that once, and even though you stop doing so and even turn away, she doesn't stop. you shriek as she coats your cheeks in smeared gloss and abby doesn't let go until she's proud of her art; her last finishing touch.

"abby," you say, frowning in the mirror, observing the mess she's made all over the lower half of your face.

"think y'look even better, babe. but there's a little spot i missed right over there,"

a/n: finished hs and made it out of recovery so i think i'll be able to post a lot more... LOSER ELLIE HERE I COME!!!!

[flowersforabby]

first love, late spring

"do you believe in first loves?"

ellie lets out a low laugh, using her elbow to hold her head up and look at you as you laid on her bed beside her. her face was illuminated by the bedside lamp behind you, freckles littering her cheeks, the occasional ones on the bridge of her nose. she'd let her hair down for once- messy, unbrushed.

"that's already a kinda real fucking thing, isn't it?" she says.

you roll your eyes at her. "shut up, fuckwad. i mean like... that we'll never forget it. that's we'll spend the rest of our lives mourning it,"

"i thought you said you were over abby,"

"it wasn't her,"

"what?"

her eyebrows knit together, and you can't help but laugh as you watch her confused face. "she wasn't my first love,"

"you had another fuckin' girlfriend before her?"

"no," you said. "it was just... one sided, i think,"

"you never tell me shit!" she says, using her other hand to poke you in your side harshly.

you smack her hand away.

"what, i have to tell you everything?"

"duh," she says, that familiar look on her face.

you should want to smack it right off her face. part of you does, but another part of you has grown fond of it over the years. a side effect of spending most of your life with her, ever since first grade. she had been quiet, a loner, when you'd first met her, though once she started warming up to you, you discovered she had quite the personality.

"why're you even asking? you've been readin' too much sappy shit,"

"yeah, maybe," you sigh.

"well now i'm curious," ellie says as she sits herself up. "tell me,"

"you don't know them,"

"so it's a them now, huh?"

"you don't know her," you say, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed. "and it was ninth grade, anyways,"

"you knew me in ninth grade,"

"you don't know everyone i know,"

"almost everyone,"

you huff a small laugh. "shit, you're annoying,"

"who was she?"

"you would've noticed, maybe, if you weren't too busy shoving your tongue down cat's throat,"

"that's not fucking fair," she said. "you had abby,"

"not that spring, i didn't,"

"so it was spring,"

"why're you trying to sound like you know all 'bout it? i never told you jack shit,"

"and who's fault is that?"

you groaned, getting up to your feet and stumbling over to her desk to grab your jacket.

"where are you going?"

"wouldn't you like to know," you say. "forgot my ipad downstairs,"

"'kay," she says.

the bed creaks as ellie rolls over to face the bedside table, grabbing her phone off of it. you make your way to the door- opening it, then pulling it shut behind you, the lock clicking into place audibly. with a loud sigh, you press your back against the cold wooden surface.

"yeah," you muttered, under your breath. "i fuckin' knew you,"

a/n: haven't written anything in SOO long... ik this is pure shit, i'll probably delete it soon idk

[flowersforabby]

loml

"shit," you laugh breathily, leaning back into the couch cushions. "jesse's going to be so fuckin' mad at you,"

"i don't think i even care anymore," ellie says.

the curtains are drawn in joel's living room, though the setting sun peeks through the cracks and the thin beige fabric. voices from the dvd recording playing on the tv are tuned out in both you and ellie's heads. in the fireplace, the flames dance around wildly, bringing about a comforting warmth to the room in the midst of a frosty jackson winter.

she has a dazed look in her eyes, her cheeks flushed as she keeps her gaze focused on your face. her arms lay awkwardly at her sides, back against the armrest and soles of her feet pressing against the side of your thigh.

"stop looking at me like that,"

"like what?"

you give her a pointed look and she smiles nervous, biting down on her bottom lip and refocusing her gaze upon the coffee table set in between the couch and the tv.

the front door swings open, door handle colliding with the drywall in the hallway- having left permanent indentations over the years, causing both you and ellie to flinch slightly.

"shit," a man swears gruffily, trudging into the house with his snow boots still on, squelching with every step he took deeper in.

a man's tall figure appears in the doorway behind the couch, bearing a brown winter coat and torn jeans. joel scratches at his scruffy beard, leaning against the wall and letting out a loud sigh, bits of snow still visible in his unkempt hair. he lets his backpack fall from his hold, colliding with the wooden floor.

"hey," joel says. "you kids stay in all day,"

ellie crosses her arms across her chest. "yeah,"

"it's cold as shit outside," you say, trying to make up for the lack of words from ellie, turning around to face the older man. "you look like shit, joel,"

"ran into a bunch of fuckin' clickers,"

"shit," you say.

"'m gonna go shower," joel says. "help yourself to the food in the fridge,"

you nod, pretending not to notice the hopeful glance he sends ellie's way before he disappears out of sight, leaving his bag behind.

"how would you rate it?" you ask, making yourself comfortable once again on the couch, hugging your legs to your chest.

"rate-"

"the kiss,"

ellie cracks a small smile, sucking on the inside of her cheek. "an eight?"

"an eight?" you scoff. "yeah right,"

"how would you rate it?"

"a six,"

"now you're just being petty,"

"jesse's a better kisser than you,"

she scrunches her face up in annoyance. "can you stop bringing him up?"

"why? you scared that he'll be mad you just kissed his ex?"

"you're real fucking annoying, you know that?" she asks.

"maybe annoying's your thing,"

"yeah," ellie says, pursing her lips as her eyes flicker to yours once again "maybe,"

"shit," ellie laughs, at the worst moment possible- she scratches at the hind of her neck, a sheepish smile forming on her face. "can't believe i just fuckin' blanked out. um, i wrote it all down, memorised it, but i can't fuckin' think when everyone's starin' at us like this. fuck,"

the crowd laughs- but you, you feel your throat grow tight over how ellie's looking at you like she's never been more in love.

"ever since i was young, i never really understood shit 'bout the world, and i never understood anything that happened in my life. the only thing that's ever made sense to me was you, and fuck, i knew from the moment i saw you that i had to have you. sorry, jesse," he lifts his wine glass up at that, leaning back in his seat and chuckling. "i thought this was going to be the most difficult thing i'll ever do, but when i saw you walking down the aisle, i realized how simple it really is. i love you. you're the person i want to spend the rest of my life with,"

"fuck you, ellie," you mutter, just loud enough for her to hear, the dam of tears in your eyes completely breaking. "you just made my vows sound like absoloute shit,"

and ellie flashes you a legendary grin- one you knew was for the ages.

you rub at your eyes as you walk into the kitchen, spotting ellie's figure crouched over by the fridge.

"hey," you say.

upon hearing your face, ellie glances over at you before straightening herself up to her feet, revealing a backpack at her feet.

"hey," she says.

"it's been a while since she's slept so long, huh?"

she, as in you and ellie's daughter, mj. 'm' as in your late sister, may, and 'j' as in joel, a name you mutually had decided on in honour to the people who succumbed to their cruel fates far too soon. you'd woken up back in your ex jesse's bed after one too many drinks, a side effect of you and ellie hashing out one of your more brutal fights, which in itself was a side effect of grief. a month and an absent period later, you'd discovered you were pregnant, which led to yet another fight with your girlfriend. however, what you thought was the end of your relationship, wasn't, and instead your relationship bloomed into something so much bigger.

it was just after dinner when you'd heard someone rapping at your door.

you knew it was her- ellie had a particular way of knocking, four small gentle raps, followed by a complete silence. when you opened the door up, it revealed the girl who had been completely drenched by the rain.

"i've kind of always wanted a kid," she lied, standing before you on your doorstep.

she hated kids.

they were too whiny, too loud, but she'd been so patient with mj from the very start.

"she had quite the day," ellie says.

"yeah," you say. "come back to bed, ellie,"

you try to fight off the sinking feeling in your stomach, pretend its any morning like any other, but you can't ignore what every inch of your body knows. you've already lost her, even though at the moment, she's physically still there. ellie isn't ellie. the girl you fell in love with was already rugged at the edges but the new ellie, she was torn at all the wrong places.

"i have to finish it,"

you close your fist tightly at your sides, nails digging into your palm. "you don't owe tommy anything,"

"i don't sleep. i don't eat. i'm not like you,"

i'm not like you.

"you think this is easy?"

ellie offers you no reply.

you clench your jaw tightly, to the point that it's quite possible that your teeth may shatter at any possible moment. you know, the moment you let it all out, the bitterness you've held against her for the past month- your grief battling hers, she's gone. but you also know, even if you don't, she's gone. ellie was going to leave, you just had to keep on hoping for a little longer with her.

losing your sister hadn't been easy.

loss wasn't supposed to be easy.

"i love you," ellie says.

"prove it," you say, your voice raw. "stay,"

ellie shakes her head gently. "i can't."

for a few moments, the room is silent. you manage to blink your tears back but ellie doesn't seem to try quiet as hard, tears racing against each other down her freckled cheeks. ellie wipes at it hastily with her sleeve and you swallow painfully, before beginning to speak once again. you try your best to keep your voice steady but the emotion bleeds through, which may be for the better, because now ellie's sure that whatever you say, you mean it.

"i'm not going to wait for you," you say. "the moment you step out, i'm gone. we're gone. i'm not going to wait at a house that feels like a fucking cemetery,"

"okay," she whispers.

you watch powerless as she picks up the bag and walks out the door without another look back, the door clicking shut behind her. one tear slides down your cheek, quickly followed by the others, and they can't seem to stop. eventually, your entire figure is consumed by sobs as you try to keep your gasps of air small- a mercy to your daughter in the next room.

you pray she'll be too young to remember that once, she had someone else who could leave her and did so.

you pray that she won't remember what you won't ever forget.

"you good?" jesse says as he snaps his fingers in front of your face.

"what?" you snap.

"just checking in on you," he says, lifting his arms up in defense.

dina places a comforting hand on your shoulder, eyeing the deadly grip you have on the shot glass in your hold. she shoots a pointed look at jesse, who quickly snatches it out of your grip and cups your hands at either side with both of his, keeping his grip on you firm as he speaks.

"we'll go with you, if you want to see her,"

"fuck," you matter. "the fuck do i need the two of you for? i'm not fuckin' scared of her,"

you yank your hand away from jesse, shrugging away dina's arm as you storm across the bar to the door, grabbing your coat off the hook behind it before trudging out into the snow. the winter winds are cold but apparently, not enough to put out the growing anger in you. your feet remember where they're headed to, even though the way to ellie's old garage is foggy in your head.

you ball up your right fist and pound at the door.

the door opens after a few seconds and your heart sinks the moment your gaze meets hers.

ellie has her hair tied up into a ponytail, her figure shrunken, swallowed up by her sweater. dark circles are prominent beneath her eyes and you can't help but notice the new scar on her cheek. you'd memorize all the marking on her body, you can't help but notice the stranger. she looks worse than you had apparently been expecting and despite all the unresolved resentment you'd been feeling towards her for months, your heart aches for her all the same.

it can't forget what it's yearned for before.

"hey," ellie says, barely above a whisper.

"hey," you say as you cross your arms across your chest.

for a few moments, the fire in your chest goes out and all you can see is ellie.

"it's been a while,"

you nod.

"i..." ellie trails off, clearing her throat. "how've you been?"

"good. moved in with jesse,"

she nods, gaze falling to the floor. "that's... good. how's mj?"

"her dad makes her really happy,"

a tense silence stretches between the two of you until ellie breaks it.

"i'm sorry,"

the two words seem to trigger something in you, bringing back the fury you had forgotten momentarily just before.

"you don't have to be,"

"no, i really am,"

"then i forgive you, i hold nothing against you, all that bullshit,"

"yeah, i deserve that," she nods. "i'm not planning to stay long,"

"i really don't give a shit. just stay out of my life. our life. i meant it when i said we wouldn't wait for you,"

"she's my kid too," ellie says, eyebrows scrunching up in annoyance.

"she's me and jesse's kid,"

"i raised her!"

"she doesn't even remember you,"

"yeah, and who's fuckin' fault is that?"

"you want her to remember you? and spend the rest of her life mourning over someone who left her? you don't get to pin this on me. i wasn't the one who left her,"

"you don't get it," ellie says, shaking her head. "you still don't,"

"i don't, because you had everything and you gave it all up. you ruined your entire life over someone who took one thing away from you,"

"one thing?" she whispers. "joel wasn't just one fucking-"

"you think it was easy? letting the fact that my sister was murdered go? but for you and for her, i did it. because i knew i had a responsibility, to stay. and i knew that whoever killed her- they'd get their ass handed back to them,"

"and what if i wanted to be the one who did it? what if i wanted to be the one to kill her?"

"was it worth it, ellie?"

she stays quiet, and you let out a shaky breath, slipping your hands into your pockets.

“i’m glad you’re alive,” you say, before retreating into the snow.

[flowersforabby]

masterlist ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

reqs open!

[smut marked with *]

✧ drabbles

pissed off gf!abby*

putting mascara on loser!ellie

midnight conversations with childhood best friend!ellie

mating press with abby*

fucking gf!ellie on camera in 1080p*

first time with loser!gf!ellie*

overaffectionate gf!abby

loser!ellie comes across your diary [coming soon...]

✧ headcanons

rockstar!ellie x actress!reader backstage // pt 1 behind the screen // pt 2 [coming soon...]

✧ shorts

one for the books // tutor!abby x shy!nerd!reader where you and the tutor you don’t actually need do a little more than just studying.

loml // canon!ellie x reader it was legendary. it was momentary.

✧ series

reflections // loser!fuckgirl!roommate!ellie and toxic!on-and-off gf!abby there's something uncanny going on between your roommate and your on-and-off girlfriend you don't know about. something much deeper than either of them are letting on. part one [discontinued...]

one for the books // tutor!abby x shy!nerd!reader where you and the tutor you don’t actually need do a little more than just studying. part one, part two [coming soon...]

✧ miniseries

i knew it, i know you, i called it. // bestfriend!abby where abby finds out that her best friend fucks herself to the thought of her part one, part two

imgnnagetuback // fwb!ellie your usual hookup gets jealous after finding out you've been fucking someone else part one

✧ etc

ellie and abby twitter links

[flowersforabby]

FLOWERSFORABBY ಇ

18 ⋆ she/her ⋆ <3 abs & els ⋆ femme lesbian

⤷ masterlist. twitter. requests are open!